#but in a conversation with a friend they were super ?? about my processing style

[vacant2007]

Ok poll time bc I'm really curious

[w2soneshots]

Flirt -W2S

words: 1.0k+

warnings: alcohol consumption.

summary: your childhood friends with Faith and when she meets Ethan you’re invited to a party with his friends.

notes: this was requested on wattpad!! Enjoy🎀🫶🏼

I've known Faith since high school. We stayed friends and have actually became closer as we've grown up. She met Ethan a few months ago and I have noticed how happy she is, when she talks about him she starts blushing and goes all giddy, I'm so incredibly happy for her. Naturally I met him and he seems super nice, then he invited me and Faith to a party he's hosting at his apartment, and we obviously said yes. I met all of his friends last week along with their girlfriends: Talia and Freya, who were really sweet and welcomed us into the group. I find the entire group hilarious. The banter that night was top notch.

Tonight both me and Faith are invited to another party but this time it's being hosted at JJ and Simon's apartment. For a bit of fun they decided to do a "girls wear white, men wear black" sorta thing so I went shopping with Talia (who I've become good friends with) to buy a dress. When we both found something to wear, paid and headed home to begin the long process of getting ready. I styled my hair, put on some makeup then got into my dress. Just before I left my apartment I sprayed myself with my favourite perfume and grabbed my lip liner, lipgloss and phone.

I got an uber to the boys apartment building. They gave me the code to get through reception then I got into the lift. Once I was outside the front door I knocked. It was opened by Talia a few minutes later. Her eyes lit up "y/n! I'm so glad you're here," she said as she pulled me in "none of the girls are here yet and I'm seriously getting bored of the conversation being about football." I laughed as she brought me through the hallway and into the living room. I smiled and waved lightly "hey." I said. "Hey! y/n, wanna drink?" JJ asked. I nodded and he took me into the kitchen.

After I got my drink I sat down on the couch between Talia and Harry. At the last party I got along great with everyone but me and Harry were a little awkward, Ethan had already pre warned me that Harry wasn't great with new people and so I tried to be as talkative as possible when I spoke to him so he didn't feel like he had to do too much of the talking, and it seemed to work pretty well. In the next half an hour everyone else arrived, including Ethan and Faith so I immediately became more comfortable.

As the night went on everyone progressively became more and more drunk. I stood in the kitchen pouring myself, another drink when Harry came in. "Hey, what ya making?" he asked. I turned around "vodka Redbull, want one?" he stepped towards me "Nah, I'm alright but thanks though." he said. I smiled lightly and continued to make my drink while he made himself something. "So, how did you meet Faith?" he asked, breaking the comfortable silence. I finished pouring my drink, took a sip and looked up to him. "Met her during high school, we've been friends ever since." I replied. Just as I finished my sentence, Freya walked in and told us we were going to play Uno.

Me and Harry headed into the living room and sat down on one of the sofas. Once we played a few rounds we got bored and began chatting amongst ourselves. I spent the rest of the night talking to Harry and getting to know him properly until I was too drunk to hold a conversation so decided to call it a night and go home.

The next morning... I woke up with what felt like one of the worst hangovers of my life. After practically rotting in bed all day, I managed to get myself up and order some lunch. When it arrived, I sat down to eat it and got a call from Faith: "hey! How are you feeling?" She asked. "not great, you?" I replied. "not the worst," she sighed contently "So... last night, you and Harry seem to be getting along." she said. I raised a brow, even though she couldn't see me "what do you mean by that?" She giggled "you just looked really... flirty." She said. I gasped "flirty?" "Come on y/n, you obviously like him!" She said with a chuckle. I sighed, then laughed "maybe I do."

Harry's pov:

I woke up to a text from Ethan: "so you and y/n yea?" I furrowed my brows "what?" I replied. A few minutes later he text back "come on bog it's obvious you like her😉" my face dropped slightly "is it really that obvious?" I replied quickly. "Haha yes yes it is" I signed "shit" I said quietly to myself.

y/n’s pov:

Today I'm going for dinner with Faith. She asked me randomly a few days after the party if I was free anytime this week, since Ethan was busy. So I said tonight and she picked a restaurant. I got ready into a casual outfit, pulled my hair into a half up half down style and did my makeup. Once I was finished I texted Faith, telling her I was just about to leave. She replied that she was also leaving so I made my way outside.

I got an Uber to the restaurant and was there within 15 minutes. I text Faith that I’d arrived but I didn’t get a reply. I brushed it off and headed inside. I looked around to check she wasn’t already here and my eyes caught someone else’s. I walked towards him “Harry? What are you doing here?” I asked. He stood from the small table he was sat at. “I’m meeting Ethan.” He said casually. My eyes widened slightly then I shook my head “Faith.” I said now realising what was going on. “What?” He said, confused. “I told Faith I- um liked you and I guess she was trying to set us up.” I said awkwardly. “I told Ethan I liked you.” He laughed slightly. “You do?” I said with a slight tilt of my head. He nodded. I smiled “well we better make the most of this then.” I said.

We spent the entire date laughing and getting wasted. We forgave Ethan and Faith and actually thanked them for forcing us to admit our feelings.

[year2000electronics]

For the reformed(?) Bill au, how did he end up with the Pines family? And on relatively chill terms with them? After all the manipulation and betrayal and torment, I wouldn't think they'd ever trust him, even if he oresented himself as a powerless human. (He could be lying! It's what he does!)

Did they just find him in a sad little heap somewhere? Did the Axolotl themself droo him off and ask them to keep an eye on him for therapy purposes? How did it come to pass that they even tolerate his presence after all he's done?

OKAY SO. a lot of people have reformed bill aus and a lot of people will give you different answers to how he ended up there, but this is my personal take on it and the au i like to call the funcle bill au!

i really don’t like it when people have the axolotl unceremoniously dump bill on the pines or the mystery shack without warning. it feels like the pines get demanded to do a lot of emotional labour for someone who really hurt them with no consulting them beforehand, and i just feel like that’s just so not my style :(

so what i like to imagine is that this au takes place a year after the summer we see in the show, so that everyone has had some time to breathe and reorient a little! it’s around this time that the axolotl starts visiting them in their dreams, just to, y’know, check them out. bill talks about the pines family a lot and axie wants to see what the family who defeated bill is like. but of course, the conversations slowly go from very detached and info-gathering only to the axolotl actually kinda befriending the family :) their enthusiasm is infectious

so sometime after that, the axolotl confers with all the zodiac in a shared dream and basically asks “hey. i have bill in the theraprism where he can’t hurt you anymore but i wanted to ask you if maybe you guys wanted to take him because he’s being really stubborn and has already cut off all his friends and the lack of connections is only making him worse. he would be human and have no powers and if he causes you enough distress i would take him back to the theraprism but i think the weirdness and positive spirit of this town might be able to help bill where the theraprism can’t. only if you want to tho ✌️” and all the zodiac spend a LONG while discussing it in the days after before agreeing, especially as both sets of pines twins are staying in town again for the summer

so bill gets dropped off in human form and gets a job at the shack, typical stuff, and he knows he has to behave otherwise it’ll be BORING GROUP THERAPY CHATS AGAIN. the road ahead is long and arduous and there’s DEFINITELY a lot of tension between bill and the rest of the zodiac, i just haven’t really had the creative juices to show it because i think it’s a very long and complicated process and requires some very skillful writing. just know that bill isn’t just getting auto-forgiven it’s just that most of that stuff is currently happening “offscreen” for me :V

BUT YEAH. mostly it’s my excuse to have bill and the pines hanging out cos i really do believe that more than anything else, that family is the closest bill had to true companionship. the henchmaniacs were his friends but also his enablers, his parents are super dead, the axolotl probably was wary of him due to his mean streak, but he sees himself in each pines and loves to bother them more than any other human. and i think there’s potential there. but i think it would require respect and patience from the axolotl, a “don’t try anything or you’re going in the time out corner” for bill, and the willingness to reach out a hand for the pines

^funcle bill and axolotl’s human disguise

thank you for the question!!

[11x13kyle]

what was the style mca wedding like?

it will come as no surprise to hear that kyle is the biggest fucking groomzilla anal FREAK about his wedding. this isn’t mcau exclusive it’s a universal constant. he’s panicking the entire time building up to the wedding, has a 15 pound binder full of wedding-related information, refuses to relinquish control over a single aspect of it like not even to stan, is just so stressful to talk to because every conversation comes back to that damn wedding

here’s some info you already know from other posts but still worth mentioning here:

cartman is banned from the wedding and there’s literally a specific bouncer in place specifically to kick him out but he refuses to let this stop him. he isn’t able to successfully break into the wedding before the i dos but he very much succeeds in getting into the reception, stealing butters away from kenny (his date), and hooking up with him in the bathroom. kenny responds to this by getting so drunk and hooking up with wendy in the same bathroom.

kenny was also explicitly prohibited from fucking at the wedding so this makes kyle utterly furious

kenny wanted to throw both stan and kyle’s bachelor parties but randy was really insistent on throwing stan’s so kenny was like fine i’ll just throw kyle the best party EVER

unfortunately for him the planning process was hell because kyle is a giant stick in the mud and kept giving him all this restrictions and saying what he isn’t allowed to have which leads to this massive argument because kenny is like i’m sorry where are we supposed to host this shit a MONASTERY???

eventually kyle agrees that kenny can bring drugs but NO strippers

at kyle’s supposedly “low key” party he ends up tripping absolute balls on acid and getting super wasted to the point of blacking out for a couple of hours and coming to on a random ass beach really far from the bar they were at with just kenny

“alright kenny where the FUCK are we???”

meanwhile stan is having a miserable time at his bachelor party just getting whiny drunk in the corner and missing kyle the whole time and not enjoying himself at ALL

randy insisted on strippers and only hired women for his gay son’s bachelor party because at the end of the day it’s for him, not stan

stan while getting a lap dance from a beautiful woman: i miss my fiancé :((

he tries to call kyle but it keeps going to voicemail and he thinks it’s because kyle is having too much fun to notice but it’s really just because kyle is in the middle of NOWHERE with ZERO service

at the wedding itself, they’re mostly successful in keeping the whole thing private and as just a family and friends affair, but one of stan’s fans does manage to find the location and secures a couple of super blurry pictures of the wedding from a distance

she responds to all the questions with either “I DONT KNOWWW” or just total lies

the wedding itself is actually a lovely ceremony honestly. kyle knows what the hell he’s doing. stan sobs the ENTIRE time.

[actualbird]

Hi Zak!! This is a pretty random ask but i was just wondering if you have any tips for starting a fanfic/story? I just keep getting stuck on how to start one (I really love your work/blog 🙏 feeds my tot brain rot fr!!)

hi anon, im glad you like the stuff i make ;w; !!! and ohhh, sure i got tons of tips for that!.....so many that i actually wish i cld get u back here to ask what specifically about starting a story u'd want tips on but for now, i'll go for a general overview :D!!

cuz....to me (i.e. based on my writing process, which i'll be drawing heavily from for these tips), the act of Starting comes in three distinct steps, one after the other:

Idea Generation (what is the story gonna be about and how do i get ideas for that?)

Concept Organization/Outlining (how is the story going to be about this idea and how will i be executing it?)

Creation (GAH, HOW PUT WORDS ON PAGE!?!?!?)

so i'll give general tips for all three!!!

-

Idea Generation Tips

(this is the step that i personally have the least trouble with because my brain makes 5 new ideas every day. it's kinda a curse now because it leads to me having too many wips and concepts and only 1% of them gets to the Creation period jhvjhVJKSHFVHJS BUT ANYHOO, TIPS-)

Check Out Prompt Lists (super fun and easy way to get an idea! theres tons of story and fic prompts out there that you can search up here on tumblr, some of them being lists of lines of dialog or lists of AUs or scenarios. even if you dont follow a prompt exactly, they can be great at kickstarting ur brain into thinking of something related that you Do wanna pursue)

Open/Ask For Prompt Requests (if ur brain doesnt have any ideas, u can ask around and see if anyone ELSE has ideas theyre alright with you writing! my tot fics "reviews for Time's Antiquities, South Stellis | Average Rating: 4.8 Stars" and "but little do we know, the stars welcome him with open arms" were both inspired by anon asks i got!! to those anons who sent those asks, i owe u my life....but yea, maybe other people can give ideas to you! or, again, give Something that can inspire another thing in ur brain to take shape)

Just Ramble With A Friend (SO MANY OF MY FIC IDEAS started because i was just goofing off and playing idea volleyball with fandom buddies in our DMs (shoutout to sam samsspambox, z lukevonhagen, and beck beckthebeetle for being the main culprits of this). like, what started out as a joke conversation eventually makes go "oh no wait i actually wanna see that as a fic" and then boom, Idea Has Been Acquired. but fr, talking with another person makes your brain create things u never thought about before. it's both tons of fun to chat with a buddy as a sounding board, and it yields awesome concepts for stories!)

For Fanfic Specifically, Think About What You Want To See In Canon But Hasn't Happened And You Want It So Bad It's Driving You NUTS (this can be anything from missing scenes you wish were expanded on, scenes you wish went a different way, character relationships you wish you could see more of in canon, go nuts! the fun thing with fanfic is that it's a fertile playground for all the what-ifs, and a lot of my fics' ideas were simply found because i thought "man i know tears of themis is never gonna show me deep found fam moments/artem ptsd consequences after main story 6.2/mariluke, so imma make it myself" JHVSJDHF. ideas are hard to make sometimes, but brains are so good at desiring things. and all those desires? those can also be Ideas for a fic!)

-

Concept Organization/Outlining

(very much skippable if your writing style/personality is more receptive to free-wheeling!! im just the type of writer who always needs an outline to begin something. it helps me structure a raw idea with no shape into something clearer that i can envision a story for)

Outline A Rough Chain Of Events Chronologically (this can be as simple as three bullet points, what happens at the Start of the story, the Middle, and the End. or maybe you can go list down the portions of your fic according to the Freytag's Pyramid Plot Structure: Exposition, Inciting Incident, Rising Action, etc etc.)

Outline A Rough List Of Stuff You Just Want To Happen In The Fic (if your brain is like mine and isnt too great at chronological thinking, make a list of just all the plot points and events or even dialog exchanges u Want to see in the fic. you can organize it in the order u want later once uve put everything down)

Outline The Themes (moving away from plot, many stories are more focused on feelings or characterization or themes. so make a list of the Concepts you want to tackle. this is something i do for my fics that are more introspective, so i outline shit like "EVENT THAT MAKES LUKE INTERNALIZE SELF-LOATHING followed by EVENT THAT MAKES LUKE'S VIEW BE NOTICED BY ANOTHER CHARACTER")

-

Creation

(the worst part of writing....is the writing JAVFJVSDKHFDJHJ but nah fr this is the part i have the hardest time with, so here are tips that help me kickstart the word engine)

You Dont Have To Start Writing The Fic From The Beginning Of Its Story, Start Writing Wherever (confession: a good 75% of my fics are ones where the first scene i actually wrote down was not the start. instead, i just wrote the scene i was most excited to write. and usually thats somewhere in the middle! i do this cuz it makes my brain happy, and a happy brain is much easier to pull words from than a sad brain. plus, when i see the scene I Like Best already written, it gives me motivation to do the rest of the fic because oh my god i want everybody to sEE THIS ONE DANG SCENE!!! start writing the fic at whatever point you want, in whatever order comes most naturally to you, is my point. you can fill the rest in later, but hey, starting to write where you Want has gotten you Started. now you just gotta finish, and finishing when you already have something down is much easier than starting from 0)

Set Tiny Wordcount Goals. And When I Say Tiny, I MEAN TINY!!! (writing is intimidating but if you set a goal of say, 100 words written for a wip per day, at the end of one week, you'll have 700 words. at the end of two, you'll have 1400 words. at the end of a month, 3000. small goals help since it makes you do Something, and that Something will inevitably compound, no matter what goal uve set. and let urself be proud of the goals uve achieved!!! writer brain gets happy when you tell it it's done a good job at reaching a wordcount goal, and like i said earlier, happy brain is much easier to work with than sad brain)

Give Yourself All The Time You Need (i know this sounds counterproductive but sometimes....the best thing you can do for the part of your brain that wants to start creating....is waiting til it's ready. dont pressure yourself, cuz brain will get sad. dont be too hard on yourself, cuz brain will get sad. start when you want to start in the way that works best with your brain and see where things go, but be patient with yourself. sometims Starting is actually the longest part of writing a story and thats fine. it will happen. trust)

-

thats all the tips ive got! and of course, what will work for me wont always work for other people, so please feel free to take what you think applies to you and discard what doesnt resonate.

i hope some part of this can help! happy writing :D

[descubriendo-aurelia]

tl;dr trans origin story

So, what have I done so far? How did I arrive to this point? Well, I kind of always knew that I wished I had been born a girl, but for many years I suppressed these feelings. I can remember as far back as age 4, seeing my older female cousin Jaimie and wishing I could look like her.

(Warning: I talk briefly about a sexual encounter below.)

I'd been somewhat familiar with feminizing HRT, FFS and vaginoplasty since I was an early adolescent thanks to cable TV, and transitioning seemed like such an extreme process (because it is) that it seemed impossibly expensive to achieve the results that I wanted for myself. I'd always been fascinated with hearing the stories of trans people and would watch anything related to them them any chance I got. My favourite movie since I was 16 years old was, and still is to this day, Breakfast on Pluto, a story about an Irish transwoman. How curious that it didn't occur to me until later in life that I loved this movie because I wanted to be like the main character.

Throughout the years there were other signs, like playing dress-up with my best friend and wearing their femme clothes, which led to the appearance of my Southern belle alter-ego Annabelle in our late teens while the True Blood series was still popular. Yes, with a big, floppy hat y todo. 👒

Shortly after moving to Seattle, I'd come to the realisation that I'd never been comfortable with a male identity and decided to start identifying as non-binary and using they/them pronouns.

There were two main catalysts that made me come to terms with my inner womanhood this past year. The first was a sexual encounter I had with a bisexual man who wanted me to wear panties for him. As we had sex, he sexualised me as a woman and referred to me as a woman. It made me feel validated and desired in a way that I had never been before, and it felt so right and perfect somehow. This encounter, as you might imagine, made me reflect long and hard about my gender identity.

The second catalyst was an Italki Spanish conversation class. My teacher is a trans woman, and the topic of discussion was gender identity. At one point during our discussion, she asked me, "What part of you wants to cling to the masculine?" and I realised that I didn't really have an answer for her. I realised that I was clinging to masculinity (or vestiges of it, lol) because I wanted to please other people, rather than make myself happy and discover my true identity.

A couple days later, on July 20th 2022, I decided that it was time to start doing something about it. I started by telling close friends, and it wasn't long before I settled on the name Aurelia and started to try presenting as female to the best of my ability. I'm very fortunate to work in a very trans-friendly city at a very trans-friendly business with exceptional health insurance for individuals who seek in gender affirming care. Having already worked alongside several trans people at my job, I felt comfortable enough to start coming out to my coworkers right away. They, of course, accepted me with open arms and have been amazing at using my preferred name and pronouns. A few of them even gave me clothes!

I then, of course, started shopping. In addition to makeup and clothes, I bought an epilator, silicone breast forms, mastectomy bras, a few different styles of gaffs as well as tucking tape. Not at all once, of course, 'cause all that shit was expensive. (Especially the gaffs! I tried two styles, a cheap $20 Amazon that was bulky and inaffective, and a $40 that works amaaazingly. $40 is a lot, but after I started ordering one every paycheque, I think she took notice and started sending me two per order, which was super sweet of her. Thanks, Lexy B Blair!)

I found a doctor who specialises in transgender care through my insurance and on September 6th, I started taking my HRT medications. After 5 weeks, I've seen slight (though not yet visible) breast tissue growth, skin softening, and thinning and softening of body hair. It's hard for me to gauge any emotional or psychological changes, since I was a very emotional person before HRT, lol. I guess I get angry way less often, but I also feel like this was true before I started HRT and has more to do with the relief I felt immediately after coming out that I was finally allowing myself to present female.

On October 13th, I got registered for laser hair removal, and I'll begin my first treatments in November! I'm so tired of shaving every day and having to use orange colour corrector and a full face of heavy foundation just to have a "natural" look. My facial hair comes in really dark, so no matter how close I shave, they leave behind a greenish undertone to my skin, which is why I need the colour corrector.

So, now what? We wait for the hormones to do their job. I probably won't notice any major changes until a year in, and the full effects could take 3-4 years. I asked my doctor about progesterone to help with breast development, and he wants to try it when I'm 6 months to a year in. Depending on how well that works, I may or may not eventually want breast augmentation.

Another procedure I'm definitely interested in is facial feminisation surgery. Because I went through a testosterone-based puberty during my adolescence, my jawline is very angular and I have a protruding brow bone compared to before I started puberty. HRT is supposed to help a little bit with rounding of the face via fat redistribution, but this won't be noticeable for at least a year. So, I suppose the plan will be to see how satisfied I am after the three year mark, and if not, look into getting the procedure.

And then, of course, there's the surgery that cispeople are most obsessed with: ✨vaginoplasty✨. Will I get it? First of all, if you don't already know this, please don't ever ask a trans person this question. As for me, I'm still conflicted. I don't believe in the concept of "completely transitioning" and don't think that genital surgery is a necessary step in a gender transition. I would be completely content keeping my genitals and would still feel as complete of a woman as any other. And yet, when it really comes down to it, I think I would still prefer a vagina to a penis if given the choice... which, I guess I have? But then, of course, there's the whole surgery itself, which is very extensive and scary, with a rough recovery. Plus the extensive dilations. Hmm, I just don't know about all that. If I did it, which I honestly don't think I will, I would want a very talented doctor who will perform a labiaplasty, clitoroplasty, and vaginoplasty, and who has multiple photographs of the results of former patients.

So, that's all, folks. If you're still reading this, thank you for listening to me overshare, lol.

[rosyrosethorns]

“… Uhh…” When Madi entered the room with Maxime and Valentina, she was admittedly stunned to see two unfamiliar faces. “Are these… new ‘Revenge on Gru’ club members?…”

“Yep!~” Balthazar Bratt replied confidently. One of them was a large middle-aged man with black hair and a red shirt with a neck cut low enough to show part of his chest, and the other one… looked like a science nerd twink around her age, wearing an orange jumpsuit and reclined in his seat with both hands behind his head.

“Ahh, Maxime Le Mal! Is this the señorita you and Bratt mentioned?” the larger man spoke with a Spanish accent. “A bit on the young side, isn’t she?~”

“Well—“ Maxime was about to remind him that Madi was an adult before the girl spoke up:

“I’m 24…”

“Hmm, I rest my case,” the large man replied in a teasing manner. “It’s still nice to meet you, Miss Madilyn—me llamo El Macho, and this is Vector!”

The girl turned to the nerd in the orange jumpsuit as she took her seat. The rest of the villains had jumped right into discussing Gru, but Vector seemed curious about her… With a push against the table, his chair moved closer to hers as he looked up at her with a smirk.

“Heyyy~”

… He probably didn’t realize that Madi was socially awkward. But also, she wasn’t sure what his behavior was implying. “Um… Hi?” she muttered in reply; her eyes shifting.

“So your name’s Madilyn? You’re close with both Bratt and Maxime?—wow, you really get around for someone who’s not even a villain~” Vector seemed to jump right into an attempt to initiate conversation. “You wear glasses too?—I like your frames, they’re super elegant; they even match your whole elegant style you’ve got going on, it’s not really my own vibe but it suits you pretty damn well~”

… The girl blinked as she quietly processed all that for a moment. “Uh…?”

“Oh!—yeah, you wanna see something that is my personal style?~” Vector pulled out one of his weapons. “EEL LAUNCHER!! Oh yeeeeah!! Fires live electric eels!”

Seeing the eel’s awkward face pop out of the weapon, the girl looked simultaneously baffled and awkward. “Uh—??”

“Vector…” Maxime had interjected at this moment, looking mildly irritated as he and the other villains turned towards him. “Are you going to contribute to the conversation, or are you only here to make poor advances?”

“Pfft! POOR??” The extroverted nerd seemed offended. “Listen, I totally have enough rizz to keep a lady’s attention!! I mean, I doubt she’s ever seen anything like THIS—there’s literally no way she could, I invented these kinds of weapons myself. Name one other person who has weapons that fires aquatic animals!!”

“Don’t mind him, Señor,” Eduardo interjected. “Let’s get back to what we were saying and he can catch up.”

Maxime rolled his eyes, but heeded El Macho’s words anyway. Vector let out a humph before turning back to Madi, holding the eel launcher up again. “Would you like a demonstration?~” he inquired.

“UH—no. No, no, no.” The girl had hastily replied before he could pull the trigger. “You might… damage Bratt’s stuff…”

“… You want a demonstration later?~”

His immediate interest still baffled her. “Wh… Why are you… asking anyway…?”

“Aww, c’mon, I’m just making conversation; are you not used to that?” Reclining in his seat once again, he waved his weapon around as he continued: “Is that part of why you barely said a word the whole time?—Do you let the other guys do all the talking also?”

“No—I mean…” The girl was getting shy again as she struggled to look at him directly. “Why… are you making conversation with me in the first place…?”

“What do you mean by—? Ohhhhh.” Vector’s eyes widened for a moment in realization. “Ohhh, I get it~ You’re the insecure type, huh?~”

Flustered, Madi opened her mouth to speak—but no words could come out.

“Alrighty then. How about this?” The strange nerd held out a hand. “Hiiii. I’m Vector. Let’s be friends~”

… The girl blinked; still visibly stunned. “Friends…?” She hesitantly reached out for his hand, still unsure what to think about him… Vector had grabbed her hand after a moment’s pause and shook it firmly; looking rather proud of himself.

“Theeeere we go—no worries, am I right?~” he assured her in a confident tone. “Nice to meetcha~”

[candy8448]

Whoa, its almost the end

One more exam

This doesn't feel real

Im actually gratefull for my school for all of those mock exams, and mid and end of year tests because this was a lot less frightening than i thought it would be, i was prepared.

But im so tired, there is a state where you dont have enough stress to perform well, the space where you have perfect amount of stress to perform well, and an area where you have too much stress so you cant perform well. I think ive just dropped down to not enough stress in this last week, im too tired to take this seriously

I feel like im in a weird haze and nothing feels real

Its a weird feeling of amazment

It feels so weird seeing only one set of revision cards left in my green folder because at the start of these 5 weeks i had two folders bursting with revision materials for each subject in my bag, and now there's just one thing left...

Wow

Our whole 14 years of education has been basically leading up to these exams... and they are no done and it doesn't feel right and it felt like secondary school would never end but now its suddenly over, and while i know that factually, i havent actually processed it, that after friday i never have to walk up that hill to school again...

I didn't expect to get this sentimental, but really for all i despise school, there was a comfort and safety in the feeling that things won't change

Im going to miss some of the teachers, they really don't deserve this school. I gave them their gifts that i made today and that felt good.

Suddenly college is going to be completely different, and its thrilling but also scary. If doesnt feel like im a "big kid" 17 year old (even though im turning very soon) and college feels like a completely different world to secondary school

Me and my friend were having like... a movie style conversation in the back of the car while it was raining, just talking abiut how things are going to be so different...

I think what im going to miss most is the fact that everyone knows eachother. I love that!

Man, our year group is strangely super close knit. We are the smallest yeargroup in the school, and everyone knows eachother's names, who is friends with who, what everyone is like, and everyone is really chill and nice, there is basically no conflict, we can talk to anyone who isnt even our friend, who we never talk to, and just have a good or cool or funny conversation and i love that! im going to miss that so much! My friend says he will be glad to be invisible but i really loved the social aspect of school, and im kind of sad that in college we are probably only going to know the people in our classes, i like knowing who everyone is in the year group. It feels weird that we are suddenly going to be away from the people we grew up with for five entire years of our lives.

My friend group as well, im scared we will go out of touch. Four of us are going to the same college as me, including me, but we might have totally different time tables, and the two others are going together to the same college, and we do want to keep playing dnd together but i dont know if we will be able to uphold that tight bond while we are seperated, im really sad about that to be honest.

One exam left...

It feels so sureal, i feel all floaty, i didnt expect to have these kinds of feeling, or thoughts.

Good luck with physics

[izacore]

Of course Anne and Gemma hugging and crying while hearing the song doesn’t mean it’s about Gemma, but added to everything else, it all adds up. And he also didn’t say that ESNY was about Robin, and he was asked about it. And we know it’s about Robin because he alluded to it being about “receiving bad news about a family member” in a secret show (not in an interview). I think he just wanted songs to be relatable to fans, even if they were specific for him. Like, I think SOTT is very obviously about Matt Irwin but Harry didn’t mention it, even though he did talk about Matt other times.

About the stuttering, he was asked if it was about Louis. I don’t personally believe in Larry but I’m neutral on it, I’m not an anti. Whether Larry is real or not, imagine he wrote the song about his sister and is promoting it. And he gets asked if it’s about either his secret boyfriend or an ex bandmate people think is his boyfriend. Of course he’s gonna be taken by surprise and confused. Clearly he wasn’t expecting the question. And he did say “if you hear the lyrics you can tell what it’s about and I would lean towards no.” So in a gentle way being like “this isn’t romantic” (which, again, he said in an interview with USA Today in 2017 as well).

You can obviously think it’s cringe. But to me, Harry writing a sweet song about his sister and her getting emotional over it and his mom loving it so much is super cute. It doesn’t take away anything from anywhere else to me. I think making incest jokes is disrespectful because the song isn’t romantic at all it’s not sexual. It’s just sweet.

Like, even if you do think it’s romantic (I truly don’t see it at all), imagine you’re wrong and despite being so sure of what you believe it turns out it was always about Gemma and you were making incest jokes about them. Won’t you feel kinda bad? How would you feel if someone misinterpreted something you did for a family member as romantic and blamed you for it and said you’re a weirdo and creepy and made incest jokes?

Sometimes this fandom can lack so much empathy. We forget that the boys aren’t our friends and they’re people with feelings and thought processes that are completely separate to ours.

Why do you guys insist that the song being romantic would mean it's sexual when one automatically doesn't warrant the other lmao you can be romantic without commiting a sexual act, so this reasoning doesn't speak to me at all.

For me taking everything into consideration adds up to it being about Louis so we could have this conversation forever. I just don't understand why you all aren't so hell-bent on making other songs that use similar lyricism about Gemma? Sunflower? Kids in the kitchen - obviously about them playing during their childhood. Canyon Moon? Going back to his family home, since Gemma brings him home. We can go on and on, but in my opinion context matters 💁🏼‍♀️ Nothing was stopping Harry from simply laughing it off when asked the question in the interview. Also no, I wouldn't feel bad cause like you said, those people are not my friends, I don't know them, will never meet or talk to them so I can laugh about a situation where everyone is denying reality to prove that Harry Styles did not write a love song for his sister.

[zackmartin]

Trick or Treat! I hope you have a super-duper wonderful Halloween! I love you too! 💜

ahh, thank you, bestie!!! I hope you're having a fun Halloween too!!! 💕💕

ask box trick-or-treating: fic writer edition!

This snippet is from the same halloween fic as this excerpt. I apologize, this is really long, but I liked it and I couldn't bring myself to cut it off 😅 (also, like i said before, please forgive the fact that this is kinda messy since it's still a first draft)

Henry shrugged and sank lower in his chair, absentmindedly picking at the peeling label of his root beer bottle. “Who knows? He started complaining about remakes and how they don’t do the originals justice, so I stopped listening.” Jasper snorted. “We could always do something else,” he suggested. “Like…?” “Party?” “You mean the parties we weren’t invited to?” Jasper rifled through the bowl of candy on the table. “Maybe you weren’t invited to,” he mumbled under his breath. Henry rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to argue but stopped himself when there was a knock at the front door. He was barely out of his seat before Piper came flying down the stairs, screeching, “IT’S FOR ME!” as she went. The three of them instinctively glanced toward the door as she pulled it open, Henry resisting the urge to flinch at her harsh, grating voice. He took a swig of his root beer, almost swallowing his tongue in the process, when he caught sight of who was standing on the other side of the threshold. Jasper whirled around to look at him at an almost neck-breaking speed, eyes wide, as Henry leaned across the table towards Charlotte. “Why is Zack Martin at my house?” he whispered. Charlotte peered at him, brows furrowed. “How should I know?” “Did you bring it? Did you bring it?!” Piper gushed, practically bouncing on her heels. Zack nodded as he stepped through the door, using his foot to nudge it shut after him. Henry tried to force himself to look anywhere but at Zack, but it was no use. His eyes always ended up traveling back in spite of himself. Zack was already in costume: a ’50s greaser-style outfit, complete with cuffed jeans, black Converse high-tops, and a leather jacket that made Henry’s heart rattle around his ribcage. “Hey, Swellview,” Zack chirped as he caught Henry’s gaze while following Piper to the counter. Henry’s pretty sure Zack also said hello to his friends, but he was too busy trying to remember what words were to really know for sure. He had to settle on giving Zack some awkward chin nod in lieu of a verbal greeting. “Here it is!” Zack announced, setting down the scroll-like object in his hand before he unfurled it across the countertop. Henry craned his neck to get a better view. “A map of all the best trick-or-treat spots, including all the places with full-size candy bars.” Piper stared down at it with a greedy smile, looking like a little kid who had just been let loose in a candy store with an unlimited budget (although Henry supposed that really wasn’t that far from the actual situation). Henry’s so focused on the fact that Zack Martin’s currently standing in his kitchen, smelling like stale cigarettes and cheap cologne and making his teenage hormones go absolutely haywire, that he forgets to ask how Piper even knew he had such a map.

[rinisbowen]

if you're not too busy, can you give your thoughts on season 4??? been missing your analyses!!

hey anon- i popped into this blog to post something completely unrelated, but seeing this ask i'll just do a semi-brief response to this: (news flash to the me who started this answer- this is no longer brief)

i haven't watched season 4. i've seen clips. i know the spoilers. i don't know that i will actually be watching it, sad as that is for me when there are certain things i wanted to watch develop properly... i might at some point, but it doesn't look to be something i necessarily want to actually properly watch start to finish...

before anyone comes at me for having strong opinions on a season i haven't watched top to bottom- don't. i don't need to have seen every shot to have a very solid understanding. i've seen a lot via socials... i "know what i'm talking about" to the extend i need to here. people are going to have their own subjective opinions, myself included, whether they've seen every second or haven't.

i told my friend on the phone when it came out that after seeing everything it seems like season 4 is more like retcon: the musical: the series...

if anyone has anything Specific they'd like talked about, i'd probably be happy/willing to do so, but admittedly, i'm not super keen on enduring the disrespect that was done to the early two seasons of the series...

also similarly- if anyone wants my thoughts on specific aspects of an alternative season 4... like things i could've envisioned for it pre- like- us getting any content... whether it's end of season 3 compliant or even like- conceptually compliant... i'm down to perhaps talk about that kind of stuff? or a sort of five season thought process... since obviously ending the series in the middle of the school year... pretty odd... especially with how they were acting like oh no this is the End...

my thoughts on this show are largely based in my understanding of the series format and arcs based in season 1 and season 2... season 2 is a very grounded season for all it tries to accomplish with limited degrees of success... i know people dislike it for various reasons, i think i actually like it for some of the reasons some people dislike it. and conversely a lot of people like season 3 for the reasons i dislike it. (and i'm not talking ships here folks- i'm talking stories and i'm talking style)

also for all i'm saying here- and this is definitely not to the degree of a traditional analysis post i would make... i would be willing to get into certain things if i am asked about them specifically.

before anyone comes here to scream at me- the thing i dislike about the season was the way it was done- not certain things being done in general. also i think it's a bit sad that they didn't think the story they were telling in season 4 couldn't stand on its own legs and needed all the associated retcon to make sense... there were ways to pull off a lot of what they wanted to accomplish- while still respecting the series and its roots

i think the conclusion i've come to in large part is that season 4 is not the same show as season 1. this is in a lot of ways, and for a lot of reasons. some out of the writers control. some just- due to changes in climate and in process. i know there's been more effort in the latter two seasons to listen to actors more with what they want, which changes things too. this can be a good thing in some cases and less so in others i tend to think (and this is an opinion i hold beyond this show)... i think there's been some disrespect done to different characters in different ways. i think characters have been somewhat reshaped to fit the narrative the show now wants to follow rather writing a narrative which fits the original characters. (and yes this can be done while having character growth/progression.)

---

one thing i'm very happy with, to end this post on a positive note: kourtney and her story. from all i've seen- she was handled very, very well this season, and it's wonderful to see how far this girl has come. she was only supposed to be a one episode character in season 1 initially before dara auditioned and changed the game, and i think that shows in kourtney's lack of initial depth that first season. she's gotten so much more to do, and i think dara's talents being showcased in the latter two seasons even more has been a wonderful thing. i'm thrilled- and i also love that kourtney got a very solid college arc, i think that was important to do with at least one of the characters, and i'm pleased it was her. she deserves it.

[sednonamoris]

HIIIIII !!!!!! you'll probably know who this is, but do you have any tips / advice for writing? your style is super flowy + beautiful, and I was wondering if there's any advice you'd have for improving my own writing? any ways to stay consistent, not ramble, anything! kinda stressing over this thing I have to write and.. idk what i'm doing.

hiiii tysm i’m so flattered you enjoy my writing style 🥹💓 you’ve come to the right place bc i LOVE talking abt writing!!! prepare for me to be so annoying lol

my first piece of advice is to read everything you possibly can. everything. completely trite garbage and Literature with a capital L and sci-fi/fantasy and nonfiction and newspaper articles and billboards and road signs. think about the things you love and the things you hate. what makes up the parts of the stuff you like to read? what makes you dislike something and how can you avoid sounding like that? what do you want to sound like? absorb it all like a sponge.

part two is to ponder sentences. (this is my primary occupation as sentences are a great passion of mine 😌) every single sentence you write is having a gorgeous conversation with the next. they’re holding hands. they’re kissing. each idea flows into the next like gentle waves that roll into high tide when you hit the crescendo or the point or whatever it is you really want your readers to understand. part of this pondering is also the constructing/reconstructing process. there’s a million and one ways to say stuff, but how do you like it best? don’t be afraid to play around with the verbiage and vernacular and sentence structure until you’re satisfied. also remember that length variation is your friend.

idk if i have any true advice about consistency bc my writing process is extremely chaotic, but something i swear by is really really really rough outlines. for example, the chapter notes for ‘pony up’ in ghost story were literally

jack comes up to ghost (out of the norm) says he's bored ghost asks if he knows how to ride he says no ghost says about time you learned. and that's that. also ghost should be smoking when he comes up don't ask why it's just cunty

this is a hot pile of steaming shit. BUT it’s also a starting point. blank pages are way scarier than hot garbage. let this be the part where you ramble, so you have what you actually want on paper and then pare things down and refine some of the points you want to make from there.

the last thing i’ll say is just to put your whole entire (gender neutral) pussy into it!! sing it loud and proud in a voice you recognize as your own. the thing about writing, and really storytelling in general, is that all of it has been done before except that it hasn’t. we’ve told every story there is to tell and said everything there is to say except not quite like that. not quite like you. so go crazy!!

[shytastemakerthing]

hi! i hope you doing great! <3

can I have romantic obey me matchup please? i’m a girl, aries, enfp, my pronouns are she/her. i could be really shy sometimes due to my bad anxiety, but mostly i’m very sweet and bubbly person, i deeply care about my friends, and i’m super affectionate with people who i love. also, my love language is physical touch!!! i’m also very sensitive and emotional person, but i’m fully open with my feelings only with close people in my life. my height is 5’5, i have a petite figure, long brown hair and green eyes, i would describe my style as a hyperfeminine, but i also love to dress cozy! i’m polyglot and i speak 6 languages, and i’m studying linguistics in uni. my other passions are makeup, cinematography and music ofc! i’m obsessed with rabbits and bunnies and all the bunny-themed items! i love cute things, such as clothes, accessories, makeup, stuffies and etc. my ideal partner is someone tall and protective, who would take care of me and be attentive to me and my feelings! and also someone who would cuddle me a lot <3

hope it’s okay! sorry for my grammar, english isn’t my first language. i hope you have a nice day <3

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I hope that this post finds you and anyone who reads it well! (Also, your English is just fine! If you don't mind me asking, you don't have to answer, what is your first language? I like being able to learn new ones that I do not know😊)

The honorable mention match up goes to Levi! I had a lot of fun with writing this one!

I match you with......

Asmodeus

• Your shy, but sweet and bubbly nature is what drew the avatar towards you. You really were like a little bunny. Shyband sensitive, but so bubbly, sweet, and attentive. It certainly had him leaning as soon as your eyes were on him. He can't help it. While he loves being in the attention of other, being in your attention has him over the moon.

• He worked certainly loved to dress up with you. Either both of you dressing up or hom being the one to dress you up, he is content either way. After all, he loves to pamper and spoil you rotten. He is all for shopping sprees to get you anything cutsey and sweet that you'd want. He may not be as bad as Mammon when it comes to spending but he has certainly had a couple of conversations it his eldest brother about his spending habits lately. He can't help it! He wants to spoil you. This must be how Mamon feels when his greed kicks in, not that he would ever say that out loud. Mammon would never let him live it down.

• The two of you will be spending spare time and weekend doing each others makeup. He lives being able to get creative and he loves it when you get creative! Just being able to get lost in the moment, pampering each other, helping each other look their best, with a nice drink of choice to sip on in the process.

• You can bet there will be sleepovers as well. He has a large bed and plenty of space. When you sleepover, if you're comfortable enough in the relationship, you hoth would shower together, nothing at all sexual about it, just genuine soft intimacy in each other gently and tenderly, then, sitting at his vanity in pristine silk robes, washing off the days makeup, and going through the night skin care routine, drying each other's hair and applying aby product if needed. Then the matching pajamas. He saw an add for them and was whipped, bought the couple set and now you're bot wearing them. After everything is said and done, you're both laying in his bed, his arms are around you as he tenderly holds you close and that's how you both fall asleep. It's the best sleep both of you have had in years.

• There is the chance that you could talk him into getting an actial bunny for the both of you. The only thing would be that he would insist insist you get two of them, that way, they wouldn't be lonely, and make sure their pen stays nice and clean. Congratulations, you have two new little bunnies and they've become your children. Asmo WILL pamper the little ones and spoil them rotten.

• When your brothday rolls around, he is one to celebrate and go all out. He knows you love bunnies if your two bunny children are anything to go by. Now, he won't go completely overboard, but there are various bunny themed things at your party. From the adorable cake to the new plushies that he's gotten you, a couple necklaces and earrings. A beautiful charm bracelet where you can add on more charms when you see any that you like. He is all for the cuteness when it comes to you....... he's half tempted to buy you a bunny outfit and hold a photo shoot.

• Much like stated in my previous Obey Me ask, you see him for more than who and what he is as the avatar of lust, as many perceive him as, just a lustful and shallow being incapable of loving anyone but himself. The first time his true self is revealed to you after a few of the lesser beings in this world decided to get a bit to close and handsy, once back to the HoL, he was in tears. That you had to see him in such a way, to remind you of what he truly is. The tears only get heaven as soon as your validation is rolling off in waves. He can't help but to hold onto you and sob within the confines if his room. Let's face it, we all know Mammon would have barged in you guys went to yours. That night, it was your turn turn pamper him and who him just how loved by you he was.

• He may never be able to change who or what he is, but when it comes to you, his brothers certainly notice the difference. He's gentle with you, he's protective, the way he helps you and guides you while also letting you do the same thing for him (Levi refers to him as the new Simp of the household, but Asmo will wear that with pride.)

• Overall, he is someone who is always intuned with what you're feeling and what you may need at any given time and is there to provide. He pampers you with the cuteness, provides the best of comforting cuddles, and will always be there when you need him.

[spurgie-cousin]

Follow up to an ask I sent a few weeks ago about kitchen table cult pod—I’ve been listening more or less in order from the beginning while doing chores and driving etc. and have gotten pretty far in (I’m in the second season now, like 9 episodes into season 2). I definitely stand by my initial thoughts to a degree, but after adjusting to the conversational style a bit I think it’s definitely worth the listen if you’re patient with it and don’t expect it to be what it isn’t. Both hosts have irked me at times…one more than the other as I go further into it. Just in the same sense of like. I could see myself potentially being friends with this person, but I would often be annoyed with their mannerisms and some blind spots they’re boldly overlooking on personal segues. There’s several episodes I get frustrated with and skip over when I’m part of the way in. I’m not obsessively rewinding to catch things I’ve missed when I forget to pay attention nearly as often as other pods I’ve tried (I’m new to podcasts generally as I’m not great at auditory processing (autism/adhd) and used to find it wayy too taxing to try to take in media that way, but I digress). BUT I’ve learned about a lot of topics for the first time listening to it, and I’m pretty in the weeds on fundie stuff and cults generally etc., and that’s led me to go off on my own research tangents to explore the new info further which is cool. It’s also super interesting listening to experience of other homeschooled evangelicals that were outside of IBLP (and most of the other big movements people are aware of on here…they talk about vision forum sometimes but they don’t seem to have been deep in the weeds with any particular subgroup we talk about). IMO it’s been a pretty interesting listen so far, even if a lot of it isn’t super meaty or new. I will also say it’s clear an effort is being made as they go to be slightly more professional and structured.

Experience/substance wise I might compare it a little to why I found it worthwhile and interesting to watch alll the backlogs of the 19kac and counting on and bates shows episodes. Most of it is crap, but you got little windows of insight into things where the shows were actually really revealing without necessarily intending to be. Like it’s not all intensely thought provoking, but still interesting enough to keep going. (Sidebar for my unpopular opinion that I think Kelly was actually much much much worse…at least back in the day…than many people seem to think she is, based on watching all the bates shows esp. older episodes and how the older kids talked about her in talking head segments etc.)

Figured I’d give the update. Might send in some of the specific things I learned about while listening later TBD. For now I’ll note that the Matt Shea episodes in season 2 are particularly worth the listen. Thanks for listening to my unsolicited and lengthy review lol.

I appreciate the review/recommendations! I also struggle with absorbing information from audio/podcasts unless it's super compelling to me for whatever reason, and I remember that definitely being a thing when I listened to a few episodes of this pod. I wasn't familiar at all with the hosts and they had a super informal structure for the conversation which I remember you warned me about, and no shade to them at all for that because they were new to it (in the eps I listened to) and that also just works for some people. But they weren't great at giving context or background for anecdotes and that made me lose attention.

I'll make a note of the Matt Shea episodes and give them a listen next time I get a chance. The topic itself is completely interesting to me, for all the reasons you mentioned above, so I get frustrated that my brain has to have everything a certain way before it will focus on the information in a podcast lol. I totally want to hear from homeschooled evangelical kids about their experiences from all different kinds of backgrounds, esp not IBLP-related because I feel like I've heard a lot about that in the last few years.

Maybe after the Matt Shea episodes I'll try some of the more recent ones where they've hammered out a structure a little bit. I'm currently balls deep in one about faith healing that I think will take a minute to finish, and I've been pretty hungry for cult content lately.

[claudiajcregg]

I love these! (Doing and asking :) 🙅‍♀️ 🤔 🏅☀️

Grrr. Tumblr ate the mostly written post because of course it did. Thank you for asking, Mia 💕 These were really fun to answer (and also hard). For someone who's really her worst critic, I do enjoy talking about my process and whatnot. I'm sorry in advance for all the rambling.

(If you want to ask me more, the questions are here ✨ )

🙅‍♀️ What is one trope you refuse to ever write?

I just don't see myself doing incest or bestiality. If we're talking more general things, I can't see myself writing cheating (with the asterisk of this being one member of the couple straying, and that there are possible situations where I wouldn't mind). Also, anything extremely violent, mostly because it's not something I often consume in media.

🤔 What’s one genre you’ve never written that you’d like to try?

Oh, maybe action and/or suspense? My writing style (intimate moments, conversations, just vibes) is not the most compatible, but if the situation arose... Sure! (I guess that, in a past life, I wrote around mysteries and crime and whatnot. I was too young then 😬 )

I also would love to be better at writing stories-within-stories. I absolutely do not have the talent to convincingly seem like the talented writers I'm doing. (Once again thinking of the fluffy memoir fic. And another one, which has a super fun premise, but my writing is failing it with this aspect, I fear.)

And not a genre specifically but collaboration? Again, I have super talented friends. I'd stick out like a sore thumb. I think it'd be fun!

🏅 What is the fic you’re most proud of?

I am my own worst critic but I would still probably say all of them, maybe? I saw something in them that I thought might connect with others and that's why they're out there. Even the ones that aren't (so many of them) and might never see the light of day. Writing isn't easy. It makes me nervous and makes me crave validation.

Anyway. The pageant answer is still true but as for actual ones, but using the way I would mentally refer to them, lol.

Big Block of Cheese 2008. I just saw it's at almost 100 kudos... excuse me what. I just felt it was something special from the moment I wrote it. I think I always would've posted it at some point, even if I hadn't made friends. None of my fics come close to it in terms of "love" and tbh, I'm fine with it.

St. Augustine. Just because it came to me so fast (I think it was mostly written in a morning?) and IDK, I love the scene. This one has broken out from most of my other purely CJD stories, whether it was timing or it getting recommended by the right people. It was nerve wracking writing something pre-canon but I think it went well! It was fun to write. I haven't read it in forever so I reserve the right to remove it from the list.

Obviously, star shine started it all but if I had a third spot... Portland. It's probably one of my flops (everything is, but this one especially) and yet. I recall being so proud right after I finished it and wanting people to read it. (It obviously grew since then because I can't shut up.) It's long, maybe unnecessarily so, but god does it get to me. I was in a writing rut (see next answer) and challenged myself to write 'canon' stories, and I think the two are good.

But... To be honest, the answer has to be my unposted multichapter. I always think it's bad until I read it, and it kinda hits, all imperfections aside. 150k words in 5-and-a-bit months (26/3 to 2/9?), 33 chapters. I wrote 2/3 of that in two months (with 19 being the last one I wrote before 19/5), until my muse decided she was done and I decided to actually change jobs. (I also wrote now-published fics like haunted by the notion or don't want you to go, as well as a bunch of other smaller ones, in between! WTF was I on in 2021? I think the mini reunion altered my brain chemistry.) I've considered just dropping a link to the unedited, unbetaed drive on the server one day, ngl.

ANYWAY. Too long-winded!

☀️ Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

UM. All of them? real talk here, I don't get many comments so I love them all. I write for a show that ended 17 years ago, for a small (and surprisingly divisive) ship (their loss - there's so much talent) so I should've known going in. It took me some time to internalize it. I'm also not that good a writer, so I'll take it. Comments mean the world to me, even if it's a "lovely" or "great job." Just taking a few seconds means a lot and writers aren't kidding when they say it's motivating. It's also how I've made friends in the fandom so yeah! comments!

To highlight some rather recent ones!

Haunted by the notion got so many from so different people, and they were all so incredibly nice when I was terrified. All of those broke me, and might be the reason why I've been struggling with a followup! (And why I've been wanting to post again soon, rather than wait.) From the other stories, I have two ~recent ones~ I actually bookmarked because they broke me.

miabicicletta's (💕 ) on St. Augustine. I woke up on a Saturday and I remember reading it from bed and crying. It was so incredibly kind and lovely and I couldn't remember the last time anyone had written anything as long. I still think about it all the time. 🥂 (I've now realized Steph also wrote another lovely one ♥️ That story and the love it got, man.)

krazykitkat's on all's well + her comment on St. Augustine because her stories are some of my favorites. I couldn't believe that someone whose work I adored and have read countless times since I finished the show six years ago had read one of my stories, but had liked it???? Didn't compute. Doesn't compute. She's read many since (see St. Augustine, the most recent one), commented and left kudos on a bunch, and it still... blows my mind. (This one happened while I was flying back from Stockholm and was the first thing I saw when I landed.)

But really - so many people have left so many kind messages over the last couple of years, and I've probably gotten emotional at all of them. That there are people out there who are reading the silly little stories that have come out of my brain... wonders never cease.

[pcm-vandermeer]

Writerly Questionaire

I was tagged by @winglesswriter. Thank you!! I'm not able to do every tag game but I'll give this one a try 💜

About Me

When did you first start writing ?

Back in primary school, at about 8 or 9 years. I wrote stories for our class newspaper as well as musical fanfiction (way before I knew what fanfic was haha!)

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Not much! But I do indulge in literary books and poetry once in a while and I'm sure I would have a hard time trying to do what those talented writers do.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

My writing style depends on what flavour the story has, e.g. I'm currently trying out an Austen novella with Austen-esque language. That said, English is not my first language, so I try to do nothing too fancy.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I used to write at our kitchen table, but now I have a desk! Yay! I don't think I could write outside my home, but I've never tried.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Reading, listening to music, and long walks with my dog when I have little else to think about.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Absolutely! I'm more comfortable writing smalltown horror or other desolated places than a big city setting.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Not sure, actually! Queerness and 'the other' often reoccur, as well as self-acceptance, but I write those things consciously. One thing that did surprise me that I now cannot unsee is that my MCs often feel like two sides of the same coin. If that's anything 👀

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

This week I'm obsessed with Dr Claire Rajan, the MC of one of my WIPs. She is such a deliciously deranged maniac, and I love her very much! She's beauty, she's grace, she'll kill you in your sleep (or something).

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Realistically, Christopher (human), because he's kind, respectful, and knows fun places to eat and hang out. I have a sci-fi hacker OC (human) who would be super cool to befriend in real life, too. But admittedly, Tobiathan (demon? monster? eldritch horror? unclear!) would be fun too -- both for conversation and scaring off people I don't like 😈

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Probably one of the side characters that I specifically designed to be dislikable, haha! In "Far Beyond The Moon", that'd definitely be Richard. I'd go insane if I had a co-worker like that in real life.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

I have a rather fanfic-y process of coming up with characters and stories, but it's usually, "Wouldn't it be cool if an X character fell in love with a Y character?" The vibes depend on the context. Wholesome beans Christopher and Gyth were my comforting fantasy during quarantine, while Claire and Satoko are more evil and nasty because I've created them in a spiteful mood, if that makes sense. From there, some characters grow and change while others don't. The prototypes of Christopher and Gyth, for example, are so different from their final forms that I'm 95% certain I could get away with publishing their story as an entirely separate book.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

They're all monstrous in one way or another.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc

As real people from my (Spongebob voice) imagination.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

To have something to read/indulge in that is almost entirely catered to my personal taste. Again, very fanfic-y. (Thanos voice) "Fine, I'll do it myself."

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Any comment for my writing is a good comment in my opinion (exceptions prove the rule). I'm especially proud when people say they felt really immersed in the story/setting.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

That's a hard question! Maybe as a fun queer horror writer ✨

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Another hard question!! I want to say 'likable characters', or 'chemistry', but I'm not sure haha!

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Though they didn't phrase it as my 'greatest writing strength', a few fanfic comments have pointed out pacing, which I'm proud of. Oh, and nothing's better than to read "this was sooo sweet" after you've set out to write some tooth-rotting fluff! Mission accomplished!

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

Not sure! I'm still learning. But looking back on the stuff I've written, like six years ago or so, I'd say I've already come a long way.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

I do write for myself first, so probably yes? But I wonder if I'd be busy simply trying to survive in that scenario 😂

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it's a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I mostly write for myself and hope that whatever I throw out there might find its audience. That said, I do think about what other people might like the most when I'm choosing which project to work on next. The self-publishing world can be cruel if you're not 'writing to market', which is why I'm relieved and happy whenever I see authors who write similar stories to me and thrive doing it!

I'm doing an open tag for this one! Thanks for reading!!