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buckys-other-punk · 3 years

Text

Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick.

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend.

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony.

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant.

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend.

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over.

sebstan_fan: alright have fun

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself.

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.”

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside.

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you.

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing.

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath.

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?”

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @princess76179 @anbrax5553 @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes @miraclesoflove @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian x reader #reader x sebastian #sebastian stan x reader #reader x sebastian stan #sebastian stan x you #you x sebastian #sebastian x you #you x sebastian stan #reader insert #sebastian stan fluff

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ka-writes · 3 years

Text

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Notes: I am posting every week now.. :/ <3 also sorry it’s shorter than usual, I did it within a day instead of a full week.

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Incase you missed:

Chapter 1:

Chapter 8:

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Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Ao3 link:

Other fic:

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Warning: cussing, lots of pain, panic attack, mentions of blood.

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Chapter 9: Lost.

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What the fuck just happened?!

That was the only question racing through Tommy’s mind.

One moment he was finally drifting into a peaceful sleep, the next one of the crew members was getting him and Tubbo up and ushered them out of the ship. Now they were on an unknown planet attempting to gain any energy possible.

Once he finally blinked his tired eyes open, he looked at the surrounding terrain. They were in the middle of a field at night. Stars were the only thing lighting their patch of land. Soft flowers and grass flowed easily with the small chilly breeze. A forest was to their left, an ocean to their right. Both leaving conflicting peaceful aromas mixed with flowers and a crisp breeze. Behind them were huge cliffs blocking and hope of going that way. Leaving the only option to head to a town that lay ahead of them.

After he surveyed the environment he turned to his partner, who was currently sitting on the ground, presumably to read the land through the plants.

That was an interesting ability to find out. One night he found the droneling sitting next to a small plant, Dream had left, talking about what the others were doing. If Tubbo was connected to a plant his senses were tripled and he was even able to echolocate if other plants were connected to the one he was using. His eyesight was very poor in the dark leaving the crew to have to make night vision goggles, making him look even more like a bee. Sadly that was left on the ship along with the rest of their gear. All of which was Dream’s and only his.

“From what I am seeing there is a village ahead.” Tubbo gestured towards the plain in front of them.

“Affirmative.”

“We head there then. I will either have to crawl or hold on to you.”

“It would be better if I led you. You wouldn’t look as stupid then.” Tommy playfully responded, receiving a small sting from his counterpart’s nail. “I am just joking! You look stupid either way.” A hoofed foot kicked Tommy’s shin, and with that they headed towards the warm glow.

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“Dammit George!” Sapnap yelled into the pitiful night, which still felt like day in the busy port city.

“Language! And yes I am very mad at his actions too.” Bad added, which was unnecessary but only furthered the other’s rage.

The blazeling started fuming. His eyes turned into orange embers and smoke escaped out of his mouth, which only furthered as his fangs doubled in size revealing a glowing orange at the back of his throat.

The other shook his head and pulled the other into a tight hug. It was as if all pent up rage vanished, leaving only hurt and betrayal in his mind.

After a few hours of sitting at the end of the dock looking into the vastness of space, the pair got up and looked for new job opportunities, hoping to find at least one.

They wandered from place to place, before finally landing in a small bakery.

Even after four months of living a relatively normal life they felt lost within its seams.

Eventually Bad found a partner and became head manager of the small bakery, finally weaving himself into the domestic lifestyle.

As for Sapnap?

He was lost. Guilty, hurt, and cold to the world. He pondered on the thought of what he could’ve done differently so he wasn’t just discarded when his ex-best friend claimed to not need him.

His endless drifting led him to a casino. He met his fiancés who turned from fury to concern quickly after they noticed his disheveled appearance.

Only after the trio was reunited for three months did he let down his wall. It took two more months to confess to everything.

Surprisingly, they didn’t leave him to be lost again. They helped weave his story back into society, and he was found.

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“George…. Not Found.” A computer voice rang through the cabin for the twentieth time.

The captain pressed the code again, switching it mindlessly to another planet. His patience no longer there.

“George…. Not Found.” The captain’s hand punched the monitor, “ERROR” static filled the cabin and blood tainted the deathly clean smell.

He mindlessly walked through the halls and switched on a small illusion box and watched the ISF news for the hundredth time. Hoping that there was an update on the human’s whereabouts. And for the hundredth time no news was reported.

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They finally made it to the edge of the town. Slipping down a small alley they scanned the area.

Odd.. why weren’t the signs written in common? That was a law everywhere, it made it so much easier for people to understand the purpose of shops.

The lamps also seemed dated, and the buildings were a different kind of structure than what most towns used.

There were also strange illusions, they only moved within the confinement of the screen.

Tubbo turned to the human who stood shell shocked.

He turned his head to what his partner was staring at.

It was a human.

What the hell??

Tubbo started falling in on himself. His brain became a static escape. Tommy turned to the now panicking droneling.

The other human noticed the commotion.

They started walking towards the pair, which only led Tubbo into a more panicked mindset.

After a minute the world spun to a stop and he woke up in an unknown room, a human sitting beside him anxious beyond belief.

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They certainly weren’t expecting to find two teenage starlings panicking in an alleyway, on their nightly walk.

It started off wonderfully. The night was crisp and the colony was flourishing.

No one knew of the colony’s whereabouts and even few knew it existed.

Eret the monarch of the first non Earthian colony. It was full of refugees, most of which being humans, few having other heritage.

He usually took a patrol every night. Checking in on new colonists and shops. Reviewing stock supplies, and any suggestions from the colonists.

Most of the time nothing happened. But this time two starlings that have been circling the news for sometime wandered into an alley, luckily they were found by none other than the monarch of this land.

He was stressed to say the least. They were supposed to be under the care of two of the most well known ships on this side of the galaxy. Both of which had declared war on eachother.

On one end if he took them to the Dream Team ship, he would most likely be unscathed when it came to confrontation from the ISF. Yet they would know of the location of the colony and probably would attack him sooner or later.

On the other end, he would be handing off two starlings to the biggest pirates in the galaxy. Meaning they would have no obligation to keep the colony a secret if it benefited them.

She made the decision to talk to the two in the morning, when all of them are less lost when it comes to plans.

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The news struck all of the crew in the heart.

Two starlings were reported missing. Both said to be returned to the Dream Team ship.

None of them knew whether to be ecstatic or terrified.

Either one. The pair had figured out a way to escape, or two they were dead. Both are plausible when it comes to what Dream could’ve done.

Either way, tears streamed down all of their faces for the first time in months.

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There was one thing Tommy was sure of.

They were lost, within the vastness of space and had barely any hope to return Tubbo home.

Instead of taking the time to sleep, he voted to sit by the window and watch the town end nightly activities and start on morning routines.

He was tired, sure. But for the past six months he couldn’t find it in him to sleep. When he did it was dreamless and empty. Furious voices yelling at him for things he had done in both present and past. It was unbearably lonely and more often than not he got lost within the confines of his mind.

So instead he sat by a window, resting his head in his arms and staring at the people moving past shops and such. He matched stories with faces and entertained the idea that many of them had much worse lives than him. Or that they had better lives than he had ever known.

There was a pang in his chest, as he watched siblings walk through the streets carefree and happy.

His tears fell silently as he stared at the scenes.

He told many stories to himself that night.

He got no sleep.

And the galaxy’s pain crashed down on him.

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Chapter 9-End

Words: 1497

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Everyone be lost.

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Remember to go take care of yourself! Also likes are appreciated but reblogs are better!!

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Chapter 10:

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the-girl-in-the-box · 3 years

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Not Today I

A/N: Hello again! I’m so excited to share the first full chapter of this fic with you all! It’ll definitely be longer than the prologue, so the majority of the chapter (and the taglist) will be under the cut! If you want to be added to my taglist for this fic, please don’t hesitate to contact me through my askbox, DMs, or commenting/reblogging this post to ask, and I’ll be more than happy to add you! And if you don’t, thank you for reading anyway, and I hope you enjoy!

Summary: When Ivar takes the throne of Kattegat, Lagertha flees to Wessex along with Björn, Ubbe, Torvi, and the Bishop Heahmund. There, they seek the aid of King Alfred. This aid comes in the form of his sister, Aethelind, who agrees to travel to Kattegat and try to reason Ivar, who she spent some time with during their youth, when her grandfather King Ecbert hosted Ragnar Lothbrok in their castle. Now, she is the only hope for Lagertha and her supporters to retake Kattegat from Ivar the Boneless.

Masterlist

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820 A.D.

The day Lagertha arrived in Wessex with a few other Vikings, Aethelind had been focusing on her wedding arrangements. As the Princess didn’t want to get married in the slightest, the arrival of the Vikings was a very welcome distraction.

She had been called to her brother’s villa to greet their new… were they guests? Alfred certainly wasn’t seeing them as such, that much she could tell. Her eyes scanned each Viking’s face, looking for one in particular she could recall clearly from her childhood. Seeing that he wasn’t there was... disappointing, to say the least. But, Bishop Heahmund, who she recalled had disappeared with the Vikings for some time, caught her attention when he began to speak.

“Your Majesties, King Alfred and Princess Aethelind,” the dark-haired bishop began. “I would like to introduce my, er… companions, to you.” The twins shared a curious look at Heahmund’s choice of words, but Alfred still nodded.

“You may proceed,” he told Heahmund.

“Thank you, My Liege,” Heahmund replied, and then did exactly that. “First, I have the honor to introduce the Queen Lagertha, of Kattegat.” Both Aethelind and Alfred turned to look at the woman Heahmund had gestured to, and they nodded to her respectfully, only Aethelind wearing a polite smile.

Immediately, she decided Lagertha had to have been the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Her long, white hair fell around her shoulders in thick curls, and whatever strands were not hanging loose, were held up in an elaborate braid. She had kind eyes, too, kinder than most Saxons would have imagined a Viking woman to have. But Aethelind still remembered another Viking with kind eyes, and so the fact Lagertha also had them was less surprising than it must have been for others.

Lagertha herself stepped up once she had been introduced by Heahmund, smiling kindly to both Aethelind and Alfred. “It is an honor to meet you both,” she said, and her smile seemed to grow somehow warmer. “Please, allow me to introduce the rest of my family.”

Before Alfred truly got a chance to respond, Aethelind was answering, “We would be delighted, Your Grace. By all means.”

Lagertha gave Aethelind a gracious nod, then turned to the taller of the two men in her company. He wore his blond hair in long, thick braids down his back, with a beard to match. “This is my first and only son, Björn Ironside,” she introduced, before turning to the other man. This one, Aethelind noticed, was almost the spitting image of Ragnar Lothbrok. If her suspicions were correct, then that would mean…

“This is Björn’s brother, Ubbe Ragnarsson.”

Aethelind was floored, and her eyes widened in shock at the revelation.

“Ragnarsson?” she repeated. She began to grin then. “You must be Ivar’s brother. Tell me, how is he? I haven’t seen him in years, now.”

The air in the room suddenly became thick, and filled with tension as Ubbe realized that this must have been the girl Ivar mentioned, back when their father had first died. He had never given very much detail about her, but Ubbe had gotten the feeling- more than once- that Ivar might have missed her- not that he would have admitted it. But looking at her now, Ubbe could understand easily why Ivar would have missed her.

Aethelind was a beautiful young woman, with dark waves that flowed freely down her back, contrasting with her fair skin and vibrant green eyes. This, with what he had been able to pull out of Ivar about her kindness and generally sweet disposition, had Ubbe convinced this was that same girl, now a woman, that Ivar had known, and that he was entirely right to miss her.

“How do you know Ivar?” Björn questioned, and she turned to answer him. However, before she could speak, Ubbe answered for her.

“This is the girl Ivar mentioned when he returned from Wessex,” he said. “He just failed to mention she was a princess.”

Aethelind smiled softly at Ubbe, and she asked, “He mentioned me?”

“As much as he’s likely to mention anything that’s important to him,” he answered, and Björn scoffed.

“In other words, he made us aware you existed, and the rest was up to us to figure out,” he said.

“I take it he doesn’t open up very easily, does he?” she commented. “How is he, though? Is he well?”

Aethelind didn’t receive an answer, however, as Björn turned to Ubbe and said, “We cannot trust her. She is too close to Ivar. She’ll take his side.”

Ubbe huffed a bit at Björn’s conclusion, and when he next spoke, it was in their native tongue. “She probably has no clue what Ivar has done,” he pointed out. “And at this point, she may be our best chance at reclaiming Kattegat. Without her help and her brother’s help, we’ll be too busy trying to survive here to make any plans about Kattegat. And even so, their support on the battlefield, if we could get it, would be a great asset.”

“Ubbe is right,” Lagertha agreed. “At the least, we should make her aware of the situation, and our request. Then, it is up to her if she chooses to help, or not.”

“And if she decides to help Ivar?” Torvi, the younger, blonder woman with a gentle face and large blue eyes, asked. “We could end up hurting our chances.”

The twins watched as Lagertha put a hand on the other woman’s shoulder, not understanding what she then said. “Torvi,” she began. “We must trust the gods. If it is their will that we receive aid here, then we will. But, we must trust them enough to trust them with the decision Princess Aethelind and her brother come to.”

At the mention of her name, Aethelind and Alfred share a look. What on earth was Lagertha talking about?

Torvi sighed but nodded, choosing to trust Lagertha on this, especially considering she knew Lagertha was right. She moved to stand beside Ubbe, and from the way he put his hand on her back, Aethelind realized he must have been her husband.

With this handled, Lagertha turned back to Aethelind and Alfred, giving them a small smile even as she sighed. “I imagine you have not recently communicated with Ivar, if you are asking how he’s been, yes?” she asked the twins- though, really the question was more for Aethelind. Lagertha didn’t get the feeling Alfred was half so interested in Ivar the Boneless as Aethelind was.

“Yes,” Aethelind confirmed, and smiled sadly. “I wish we could have kept in contact with each other, but… I did not speak his language, and he did not speak mine.” She paused to sigh, and bit her lip as she looked to Lagertha again. “And… I get the feeling you’re about to tell me this is a good thing, aren’t you? That I have not been in contact with him since I last saw him?”

“I am afraid so,” Lagertha answered. “It will make this… easier to hear, I think.” Aethelind regarded her curiously, wondering what she meant. “Ivar has taken Kattegat.” The Princess took this information in, nodding along as Lagertha spoke. “He led a civil war against myself and his brothers. Thousands died in his pursuit of the throne. He is now King, but-”

“My brother is a cruel man,” Ubbe interrupted. “I worry for the people of Kattegat under his leadership.”

“If you can call it that,” Björn scoffed. “He will enslave our people, and treat them like prisoners. We cannot allow this.”

“I don’t understand what you are asking of us,” Alfred said, and Aethelind sighed.

“I believe they are asking for aid, in whatever way we can give it,” she told her brother. Her attention turned to Lagertha, who she found had a rather calming presence. “Is this true?”

“Yes,” Lagertha answered. “Even if you can only offer shelter for one night, it is more than we have now.”

The way Lagertha spoke, Aethelind felt herself wanting desperately to help the displaced Vikings. They had asked for none of this, and though it hurt to hear of Ivar’s involvement in the situation, she knew that what was done was done. All they could do now was figure out where to go from there.

“We will have to think on this,” Alfred told the Vikings. “Until we have a decision, the guards will take you to-”

“My villa,” Aethelind interrupted. “You may be hesitant to help, brother, but I am not. Lagertha, Björn, Ubbe…” She paused, looking to the other woman whose name she had not gotten.

She seemed to understand why Aethelind had stopped, and supplied her name. “Torvi.”

Aethelind nodded sweetly, then continued, “And Torvi.” She took a breath. “You will all have my support. For now, that will be food and shelter. I hope to offer more in the future, but I am afraid this is all I can do at the moment.”

“This is more than we could have hoped for,” Ubbe said. “Thank you for your kindness and your generosity, Your Majesty.”

“I don’t like to see injustice, is all,” she confessed, and swallowed. “No matter who is perpetrating it.”

The Vikings all knew she meant Ivar, and they realized suddenly just how fortunate they had been that she wanted to help, and had wanted to help them, over Ivar. She had no history with them, but with Ivar, she did. Truly, it must have been the gods’ will that she be on their side.

“Still, you have our gratitude,” Ubbe insisted in light of this.

Aethelind smiled to him, and said, “You should rest before we feast tonight. Go. You will be shown to your chambers by our Head of House, and we will see you this evening.” She inclined her head to an older woman, who stepped forward and gestured for the Vikings to follow her, following the command given to her by Aethelind.

Once the Vikings had left the room, Alfred sighed and turned to Aethelind. “Does my authority mean nothing to you?” he questioned her.

The Princess stood firm, and answered with a strong voice, “Not when you were going to make a horrible mistake.”

A tense silence filled the room as the twins challenged each other, maintaining eye contact for far longer than was comfortable for either of them. Eventually, Alfred was the first to break it.

“I have important matters to attend to,” he said, as if that were why he had broken the eye contact. Aethelind’s smug expression proved she didn’t believe him, and so he added, “We will speak more about this later.”

“Of course,” Aethelind agreed, and Alfred huffed. But, he did seem to soften a bit toward her.

“In the meantime,” he began. “Please be careful.”

She smiled softly at him, and took her brother’s hand. “You know I will be,” she replied reassuringly.

Alfred chuckled a little, and confessed, “Sometimes, I think you are truly too good for your own good.”

Truthfully, Alfred had quite the soft spot for beloved twin sister. She was an incredible young woman, and Alfred thought she deserved the world. Of course, they were both close to their older half-brother Aethelred, but Alfred and Aethelind were twins. They had shared a father, one they’d never known, and now, they shared a bond with each other that neither would ever share with anyone else.

Aethelind gave Alfred’s hand an affectionate squeeze. “Get on to your ‘important matters’,” she said playfully. “I love you.”

Alfred chuckled softly and returned the squeeze, answering her, “I love you, too.” He finally left the room, leaving her alone. Aethelind looked to the door the Vikings had left through, and sighed. She had just told Alfred he’d been making the wrong decision, but in trusting Lagertha and her family… she hoped the one who was making the wrong decision wasn’t her.

—

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius, @wilhelmyna, @katfett, @fangirl-nonsense, @zuzus-sun

#ivar the boneless #ivar x oc #vikings #vikings history #history channel vikings #ivar #not today #chapter one #ivar's heathen army #ivar fanfic #ivar ragnarsson #alex hogh andersen #ivar x ofc #ivar x original female character #ivar x christian!oc

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 3 years

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lol okay so I dashed off most of this the day of and then kept not posting it because I kept thinking I needed to add stuff, but then I ended up adding more stuff mostly in reblogs instead (should all be under the “my meta” tag if anyone’s curious) and now episode 2 is technically coming out tomorrow night in my time zone so obviously I need to just post this. bullet points of disconnected thoughts, some of which are probably at least slightly outdated by now but whatever, here you go

seems very possible Mobius left the tape with him on purpose because he figured Loki wouldn’t be able to resist looking at it

would have to check the timing but I’m pretty sure he started looking terrified as soon as Thanos came onscreen without really knowing the context (aside from the very basic outline of “it’s been several years and he reconciled with Thor”), which at least underscores that they weren’t buddies--Loki knew something awful was about to happen the second Thanos showed up sadly this is not true, the clip he sees first is him trying to stab Thanos, so...yeah it stands to reason that he’d know it was about to end badly no matter what

other people have mentioned this but I love that we got to see Loki just like...existing?? like I know he’s never been the protagonist before and seeing him as the protagonist has always been one of the things that’s excited me most about the show, but now that it’s here I’m just kind of struck by how HE’S THE PROTAGONIST so we’re getting all these emotions and little gestures and moments when he’s alone that we only got in tiny, sadly easy-to-overlook snatches before (and it also occurred to me that I don’t think we’ve ever seen Loki eat anything, which is something else that might change)

also his projection is fascinating, and so is the fact that he explicitly turned it around on himself, which seems relevant to all the theories about a lot of his other statements (”freedom is life’s great lie,” most of what he said to Natasha, etc.) being things that were drummed into him on Sanctuary rather than stuff he just came up with on his own, so that seems to cover a lot of the stuff he says in Avengers and here

on the other hand it seems unlikely we’re ever going to get confirmation that Bad Stuff happened to him on Sanctuary aside from what we already saw in Avengers, which is frustrating, although to be fair I also wasn’t expecting to see Loki crying about his family in the first episode (and the most I’m really hoping for, still, is that nothing will explicitly contradict the idea, so...we’re good on that thus far, I guess)

so the first half of the episode was...ehhh, I don’t know, but the second half was amazing. I know some people didn’t like that part either, but I felt like...okay, I don’t love him being humiliated so I would’ve preferred different framing for some of this BUT a lot of casual viewers still see Loki as a cackling caricature without having picked up on any of the stuff that very clearly showed otherwise, and this show wants to treat Loki as a person, someone worthy of audience sympathy, so they kind of had to go in hard and fast on that aspect to get everyone up to speed. like, yes, fans who’ve been paying attention know that Loki’s a person, that he’s wounded, that he doesn’t hurt people just because it’s fun for him, that he feels things very deeply, that he loves his family, but somehow the mainstream perception of him has missed like 85% of that, and the show’s just not going to have much impact unless it gets everybody on board with those very basic ideas. in terms of story structure it probably doesn’t make sense for this to be his lowest point, but starting from the bottom and eventually getting somewhere better is fairly standard, so at this point I can imagine tons of ways things could improve for him

yeah I do hate the whole Sacred Timeline thing, see also my posts about how much I loved that Endgame canonically (I thought) established multiple timelines where everything was fine, so yeah I’m pissed about that because it means those timelines were canonically pruned

like I don’t...hate it as a storytelling device? I just hate it for fandom reasons, and I’ve hated it in other fandoms when canon did something that seemed to open things up to all this incredible possibility and then went “actually no, we’re boxing it up again into this one specific Way That Things Happened” and for fanwork purposes it doesn’t matter all that much, I don’t think it’s actually that much harder to do AUs or go “okay well in this universe the TVA doesn’t exist, whatever” (in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if AO3 quickly develops a new canonical “not TVA compliant” tag for basically all Loki fic), but it is annoying that it’s now like “canonically, every AU is Not Allowed”, and if that ends up sticking as the status quo with the TVA considered good guys or at least a necessary evil then yeah, I’m going to be annoyed

HOWEVER

I don’t think that’s inevitable for a variety of reasons

this whole show is going to deal with multiverse shenanigans and so will Dr. Strange 2, so it seems completely possible that the end result could be a status quo of “there’s a multiverse actually and that’s fine” (...although yes, I’ll be doubly annoyed if the end result of this show is a restored multiverse of some kind and the end result of Dr. Strange 2 is condensing it back down to a single timeline)

the multiverse is a long-running comics tradition, which still seems to be the case even after...whatever event it was that collided a bunch of them and tried for a Highlander thing, look I wasn’t really following it and I know some characters ended up in other universes from where they started but I’m pretty sure we still have a multiverse of some kind

almost all the recent Loki-centric comics have focused on questions of fate and agency

Agent of Asgard in particular was about Loki eventually going “fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” and forging a new path (and, okay, it does seem like runs other than AoA have been the most influential here but again we’ve only seen one episode)

Loki, specifically, is an agent of chaos and change, like that’s his whole thing going way back to mythology, because sometimes stagnancy is death and chaos is healthy, and of course myth!Loki (and earlier versions of comics!Loki) is always responsible for triggering Ragnarok, which isn’t just the end of the world but is also a natural, crucial part of a cycle of renewal, and yes the MCU already did Ragnarok but that doesn’t at all mean they can’t play more with those ideas

Tom Hiddleston has brought up this specific point several times in recent interviews, that sometimes chaos is the one thing that's really needed

also, on Jimmy Kimmel the day of the episode, he kind of...planted a seed about the TVA maybe not being uncomplicated good guys because seriously what gives them the right to make these decisions for literally everyone

so at the very least I think it’s completely possible that things aren’t quite what they seem, and that for instance we’re supposed to discover that Mobius is consciously manipulating him to turn him into the type of tool the TVA wants him to be

also “the timeline wants to break free” shows up on a lot of merch, which does seem to indicate a free will vs. predestination theme

I’m not at all familiar with comics!TVA, although I understand they’re considered villains (although to be fair, so were the Skrulls, and at least thus far that’s been inverted for the MCU), but their whole thing reminded me of a few other entities in a way that could be relevant:

the tape running out was like the Norns cutting the thread of somebody’s life

Those Who Sit Above In Shadow in AoA (and also maybe whatever was below the God Quarry in Infinity Wars although I’m less familiar with that)

the gods in Cabin In The Woods, who were also kind of audience proxies in that they really just cared about the sacrifice being entertaining, which kinda seems like the only logical reason for the Timekeepers to prefer any given series of events over another

my personal hope for the series: the Timekeepers are ultimately the Big Bad and the rogue Loki variant is ultimately right in trying to wipe out the TVA (because sure I realize it’s maybe dumb of me but I still don’t want any Loki to be completely a bad guy!!); the major named TVA characters realize they’re the baddies actually and team up with a whole army of Lokis to take them down and GIVE US BACK OUR MULTIVERSE

#meta #my meta #loki meta #loki spoilers #loki series spoilers #loki show spoilers #loki show #loki #marvel cinematic universe

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unpopularfanopinion · 3 years

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I apparently struck a nerve with someone and they blocked me. Just a tip dude, if you don’t like people arguing with you maybe you shouldn’t post on social media designed for reblogging, responses and rebuttles. You can still find websites that offer blogs with no comments.

But as I typed this all up i felt it worth sharing.

Pointing out similarities in ideas and actions between two group doesn’t mean I think one is equivalent to another. It means in some ways they are coming from the same place(doesn’t mean they’re going to end up in the same place) But I see you’re very good at putting words in other people’s mouths.

However you may think there’s a difference between a religious group attempting to ban a book over religious ideals, and people trying to force Ao3 to moderate to their standards, but I am going to ask what the difference is?

Also who is going to get to decide what counts as harmful/racist? I mean I get the feeling you’re something of a new-comer to this whole anti-shipping trend and aren’t aware of some of the context in history behind it.

Like the insanity of the Sherlock fandom where a contingent of people who really really preferred John topping Sherlock in their porn decided to accuse anyone writing Sherlock topping John as being pedophiles. (Surely you can understand the insanity behind that. porn written of two middle age men being pedophilia because the wrong man tops) To the point of accusing a surivor of being an abuser, as well as filming her having a breakdown(that they caused) and posting it online. https://fanlore.org/wiki/221B_Con (the 2015 con)

https://thegreenirene.tumblr.com/post/116696525144/what-happened-at-221b-con-2015-the-gender

There’s also the story that went around of a real life highschooler that was convince he had to break up with his significant other of several years because he had turned 18, but his partner hadn’t yet because him simply dating(not necessarily having sex with them) someone under 18 was pedophilia. (okay yikes)

And what about when you have people who claim that individual ships are inherently racist if you prefer them over a different ship. One example is from the Star Wars sequel trilogy where people tried to claim the Finnrose ship was inherently anti-black and racist and so people should ship Finnrey.

https://my-reylo.home.blog/tag/anti-finnrose-bs/ (rundown, with links and receipts although sadly some of the links no longer work)

So again who will get to decide? And before you say, the minors, survivors, and minorities who don’t feel safe you should try to understand that’s not a winning trump card. Because there are ALSO minors, minorities, and survivors(like me) who keep saying that they don’t feel safe in places where censorship takes place. That they find exploring the exact same topics that antis decry as harmful, helpful and therapeutic. That they don’t feel safe in places where they risk harassment, doxing, suicide baiting simply because of the fiction they like, or create.

I mean there’s an disabled artist who lost her job because of anti harassment.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XdfUJyVYhmaahTfbxLNU0W0yVz80hmptNrCQv7KSL6o/mobilebasic

An individual is not harmed merely by some piece of fiction existing out in the void. If they stumble on it without warning it can be upsetting, trigger pain, but that means them stumbling on it. Ao3′s tagging system does an excellent job at allowing people to not see what they don’t want to. There are a few tweaks and adjustment I wouldn’t mind seeing like a permanent exclude tags so I don’t have to constantly filter out specific tags.

I doubt that there is anything you can find on Ao3 that you would not also find examples of in any large public library

Take a brief look at New York’s Public Library eroticia for example

https://nypl.overdrive.com/search?subject=21

In the comics and graphic books section i found Sadistic Boy by tori maia, which contains examples of underage sex, adult/minor sex, rape, and incest(uncle/nephew iirc). As well as Bad teacher’s Equation which features a romantic relationship between a 16 year old highschool student and a 26 year old nurse who works at the school. Again this is the New York Public library, and I haven’t started looking at more of the books(although without Ao3′s tagging system it’s a bit harder to guess the contents with just the cover)

Is there any real reason you can think of why Ao3 should be held to higher content standards than the New York Public Library? I mean they’re both based in New York State, and go by New York State’s obscenities laws.

And I’m sorry for not including sources in my earlier posts, but I was on mobile and didn’t have all of my links.

But here’s a study discussing the sex on TV doesn’t influence teens as much as people previously thought

https://theconversation.com/sex-on-tv-less-impact-on-teens-than-you-might-think-61957

Also the relationship between fiction and reality, and the ability of various media to change and shape social norms is incredibly complex. Research attempts to discover how media can influence change, but that there’s both individual effects, social effects, and the effect can be different depending on if a person knows other people in their community have seen/heard the piece of media or not.

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/political-science-research-and-methods/article/how-does-media-influence-social-norms-experimental-evidence-on-the-role-of-common-knowledge/23D65E06CAB2876B08F12E23CD5C0539

So keeping that in mind that fanfiction is still very much a niche hobby/activity and you’re unlikely going to find an entire community(of people who happen to be living in the same area definition) reading the same fic, Fanfiction’s ability to impact reality is pretty much non-existent compared to the latest offering from Disney, Warner Brother’s or Netflix.

I can have empathy for people who are uncomfortable or feel they are hurt when they see certain topics in fiction. However I wish they would try to have a little empathy for the people who find comfort and healing within that same topic. The solution is not censorship or people stop creating taboo fiction. The solution is right there in Ao3′s tagging, people who don’t want to see certain content can avoid it, people who do want to see certain content can find it. I’m sorry but I cam going to have a hard time finding sympathy for people who demand that everyone else cater to them and their feelings without a thought for anyone else's.

#Ao3 discourse

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not-poignant · 4 years

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1/2 I've had a discussion about commissioned fanart/fanfic with a friend lately, and we disagree. For me, it goes against everything I know ff to stand for to get compensation for it (though freely donated ko-fi by readers, that I can get by). But my friend asked, how ff is different from fanart? "Fanartist strive on ko-fi, patreon, etc, they regularly sell fanmerch... it's a discrimination against ff writers if they are not allowed to get the same support fanartists get".

And I get where she's coming from... but I still think FF are different, and I can't articulate why. =/ I know you feel similarly, your patreon is always strictly for your original creations. I'm wondering what your thoughts are about this? *Why* is fanart different? *If* it is. (Btw, you don't need to reply, I just figured I ask because you always seem to have such insightful comments and opinions. But anyway, have a great day!!)

Hi anon!

I apologise because I doubt I’m going to have a very clear answer to this. So I’m just going to highlight my wishy washy thoughts because that’s all I have.

* Firstly, I think there is a huge double standard for anyone who thinks it’s fine to accept money for fanart but not for fanfiction. Both are transformative works that take a lot of time and effort to make. Period.

There is a reason for the bias that I’ve observed. And that’s because most professional authors, creators, directors and scriptwriters have - for decades - been pro-fanart and anti-fanfiction, and some of that has trickled down into attitudes in fandom. Even today, pro-fic scriptwriters will say ‘oh I love the idea of fanfiction but legally I can’t read any’ while repeatedly reblogging or retweeting or sharing or even reposting fanart with delight. And that’s the ones who are pro-fic.

But over the decades, there have been plenty of famous authors and properties in particular, who were pro-fanart (though not pro ‘profiting off fanart’), but anti-fanfiction. Anne Rice and Robin Hobb come immediately to mind. Some of these people even commissioned fanart themselves, while taking fanfiction authors to court. The double standard there is huge. If you’re posting fanart on your page but hating on fanfiction authors as a professional, you probably need to examine your biases.

* Secondly, personally, I think it’s unethical for me to accept money for my fanfiction OR fanart. I have no double standard, they are both the same to me.

* Fanartists literally making entire livings off their fanart makes me uncomfortable. Particularly when they’re making more money than the original creator or the original property. I have less of an issue when it’s like, Marvel or Disney, but then, those huge organisations can afford lawyers and send C&Ds (Cease & Desists) and are powerful enough to shut down and destroy accounts (and sadly, artists). But in the case of smaller fandoms, unfortunately it means you can end up with scenarios where some fanartists are making much more than the creators who created the property in the first place. Imho, I don’t like that. But that’s a nuanced, complicated issue for which there are no easy rules.

There are definitely increasingly ways people can profit off fanfiction and do. I think it is immensely hypocritical for anyone who financially supports fanartists to then draw a dubious/mythical line in the sand re: saying fanfiction authors making a profit is wrong. I’m sorry anon, but it’s an attitude that’s literally ‘They can do it but you can’t lmao I have no reason sorry but I guess you don’t deserve to pay your bills for your fanworks but these people do because of their fanworks have a nice day.’

***

Sometimes I wish I really did feel better about making money off fanfiction. I think I’d be making more money if I did. But I just don’t feel okay about it, personally, in myself. I don’t expect anyone else to hold themselves to the same standard, a person’s gotta eat. I’m just lucky I can eat because of Fae Tales.

Fanfiction authors are definitely finding more and more ways to make money off their fiction, usually via Ko-Fi tips, or even just placing fanfic on Wattpad and getting money via that. Even through Patreon (though if they get reported, their account will be closed down and suspended). But the struggle is real. Meanwhile the big name fanartists get huge booths at all the conventions and are treated like celebrities making profits off of fanart, and are more likely to get professional offers re: jobs, including fanart in their portfolio. Try doing the same thing as a professional author. You’ll be treated as a joke.

Yes, the double standard is fucking annoying, and it’s also just crap. There’s probably a reason most people can’t think of a good reason why one group should get paid but not the other, for both doing literally the exact same thing in different creative forms. And that reason is ‘because there is no good reason.’

If fanartists can make a profit so boldly and wildly off of other creative properties, then fanfiction authors should be able to as well, without fear of criticism that’s directed specifically at them but not fanartists. That’s just...internalising the hate that professional creators put out into the world, and that hate came from a fear of their works being stolen by writers, but not by artists. There might be a secondary fear around it hurting fandom, but that’s something that most people don’t really talk about, and it’s not like anyone brings it up re: fanartists selling prints.

Imho, for me personally it’s complicated. I follow a set of rules for myself that I created over twenty years ago, and I don’t know if I’d have the same rules if I was only just starting out in fanfiction now.

But also I’m just grateful that my fanfiction is just always free, and I can do whatever I want without ever having to worry about the bottom line, or income. That’s very freeing for me on a literal level, and it means I can relax. I would lose that if I was making a profit off of it.

But yeah otherwise, in a world where fanartists get to make wild profits off of what they’re doing? It’s frankly just straight up unfair if fanfiction writers can’t. It’s a double standard that hurts people.

#asks and answers #pia on fandom #sometimes it's actually really hard seeing fanartists selling prints #knowing that they're going to make money #and knowing that i can't make money #off of my own fanfiction #like okay i *could*#but then i'd have to deal with people being like 'oooOOOoooo that's so wRONG'#while never saying it to the fanartist lmao #like i gotta say #living that double standard sucks. it's not like it's tempting to start making money off my fanfiction #with the current *general* shitty atittudes of fandom #so while i'm happy with my decision #i'm not happy with how fandom is on this issue overall #it's an unexamined double standard that means some people can afford more and others can't #and it creates financial inequality within fandom #Anonymous

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lokisasylum · 3 years

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Check In Tag!

Tagged by : @parkandblues (thanks, hun 🦋)

1. Why did you choose your url?

“lokisasylum”... I think i’ve explained this a lot, but “Loki” is a nickname I was given since my school days because I was a hardcore trickster & would get away with anything and everything. I also recall being VERY persuasive when caught until I got off the hook. While “Asylum” comes from an album by Disturbed (one of the bests I own).

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them?

Yep, @arsenicbutterfly which is like an aesthethic/anime/cyberpunk/steampunk/grunge blog, and I also have @lokirasengan-fc which I originally created with the intention of moving all my fanart/artwork (also promote my Society6 & Redbubble shops) to in order to separate my main blog for BTS news/post and that one for artwork but none of my mutuals really followed me on it so its basically a dead blog >_>

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

I think since 2010 which is the same year the (Disturbed) “Asylum” album came out.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I don’t know, never really thought about it.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Hmm... I remember 2009-2010 to be a very chaotic years.

- the Death Note fandom went up in flames due to the MILLIONS of cases of cyber bullying (some ending in s**cide). I remember being part of this RP group within the fandom that I ended up quitting when I got admitted into Graduate School and because 2 of the oldest members ended up being actual PSYCHOS. (Which is why I also quitted roleplaying)

- Deviantart was rumored to either be shutting down or heading into a worse fate since they started censoring Mature Art/Literature/Fanfics (I remember all the artists who had their 20something chaptered fics and comics OBLITERATED off the site without a reason). So many people left DA for other blogs and I remember thinking the same, that I needed to migrate elsewhere. I tried 2 new social medias that eventually disappeared with less than a year of existence and then there was tumblr with had apparently been created for that very purpose (as a refuge for artists & people in general who were disappointed or got screwed over by the system). Which is funny because tumblr ended up the same way...

I still kept both my DA accounts active and I still post ALL of my artwork/photography there.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

I usually changed my icon frequently, but this recent/current icon is special to me, because it was made as a tattoo design for my Jikook Vampire fic (Forever, You Said) of a butterfly trapped between a Full Moon/New Moon. Its a matching tattoo between jikook (Jimin’s is a yellow butterfly inside a new moon, while JK’s is a blue butterfly inside a full moon). Meant to symbolize how both existed in the same timeline separated by two worlds with Jimin being a vampire and Jungkook being human, but their lives got intertwined since their first meeting.

7. Why did you choose your header?

[I legit had to go back and check what my header was ‘cause i forgot]

Because I mean... Its Park Motherfucking Jimin.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Like... this month? I think its the post about BTS as Flower Spirits from the HYBE museum.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Few but I love them (same)

10. How many followers do you have?

635... damn, when did that happened?? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!

11. How many people do you follow?

Like 14ish? Most of them were fanartists I really admired, but sadly most of them aren’t active or left for Twitter cause people kept coming to tumblr to steal their art and post it on twitter/instagram. So they moved to twitter in order to have some “control” over their works, but now people steal their art from Twitter and come to post it on Tumblr 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

And this is why I still post most of my art on Deviantart.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I... I dunno, have I? Oo

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

24hrs/7 days a week, I never really log out of tumblr. So I just wake up, eat breakfast/lunch (whatever’s available at 11am), do chores around the house, make sure my fam’s healthy, fed and comfy before I jump back into tumblr where I kill off most of the day and night. If I’m not here I’m on deviantart or Ao3.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

I usually avoid going to other blogs to argue per se because most of these blogs that shitpost for the sake of creating conflict are very young and very ignorant. They never see reason/logic even when you slap ‘em across the face with receipts. So I don’t bother.

HOWEVER, ain’t afraid to calling people out through my own posts from time to time without the need to name names. If it fits, it ships and if you offended that’s a YOU problem.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I avoid them as much as possible. I’m like Taehyung on that note, I’m the type of person that if you try to force me to do something and I see no benefit (for me) in it? I won’t do it.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes, they’re fun and break the monotony.

17. Do you like ask games?

I do... but no one ever interacts with me for them 🙃

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Eehh.. maybe @utopiajeon , @debrenner , @aikimei

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

I mean I love them and think they’re awesome people, but I also think of them as the children I don’t plan on having in the future. LOL

20. Tags?

@utopiajeon @doctorcerberus @i-like-plain-rice @corkytheguar anyone who wants to do it!🌸

#tag #tag game #tag meme #for fun #mutuals

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noona-clock · 4 years

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What’s Your Sign?: Cancer

Genre: Roommate!AU

Pairing: Minhyuk (CNBLUE) x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of nudity, Cursing, Robbery/Attempted assault

Words: 6,203

Author’s Note: Since I’m so fascinated by astrology, I decided to do a Zodiac series! I will be writing a one-shot fic for each sign featuring different members from different groups (and even an actor!). Each story will be posted on the 5th of the month during that sign’s season. Please reblog, comment, or send in an ask with your feedback! Thank you for your support 💜

No one ever really knows when they wake up in the morning that the upcoming day will change their life.

If you had woken up this morning and known that... well, you weren’t sure what you would’ve done about it, but at least you would’ve been prepared. At least you would’ve gone about your day knowing that things wouldn’t be the same when you went to sleep that night.

But you hadn’t woken up this morning and known that today would change your life. You hadn’t been prepared whatsoever.

In fact, you weren’t prepared for the next few days!

But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We still need to get through today.

And let’s start with the backstory.

After graduating from University, you and your best friend/roommate/partner-in-crime had signed a lease for a beautiful apartment and had been roommates for the last five years.

You’d had many, many wonderful times in this apartment with her. Movie nights, dinner dates, board games, dance parties...

And then she’d gotten married.

Don’t get me wrong: you were happy for her! Thrilled! There was nothing you wanted more than for your best friend to be happily married to the girl of her dreams.

But that did mean you'd been left without a roommate in a two-bedroom apartment.

You had a fairly good job with a fairly good salary, but you still couldn’t afford a two-bedroom apartment by yourself.

You’d had to find a roommate -- and fast.

Since you hadn’t trusted simply putting an ad out on the internet or finding someone on some random message board, you’d asked around. You’d asked your friends, your family, your co-workers, and thankfully, the receptionist at your company said he had a cousin who was currently in your situation: looking for a roommate.

He had very quickly warned you that his cousin was a guy, but you dismissed the fact with a wave of your hand.

You were old enough and mature enough to handle living with a guy! As long as he was clean, respectful, and paid rent on time, you didn’t really care who your roommate was.

He gave you his cousin’s contact information -- Kang Minhyuk, his name was -- and you messaged him as soon as possible.

It had taken you less than a week to know you wouldn’t have any problems having Minhyuk as a roommate. Most of the time, he texted you back within minutes which meant he was responsible and observant. If you ever texted him somewhat late at night (meaning after 11), you didn’t receive a response back until the next morning which meant he was probably on the same sleep schedule as you. And he used emojis which meant he wasn’t some “I’m too cool for emojis” dude.

Honestly, what more could you ask for?

Minhyuk had moved in two weeks after your first message, and the two of you had been cohabitating pretty peacefully for over a year now.

He was no replacement for your best friend, of course, but you would be lying if you said you hadn’t gotten close to him. He was an incredibly nice guy, and while he did kind of keep to himself most of the time, you basically never saw him without a smile on his face. He always did the dishes whenever you cooked a meal for both of you, he always opened the very top cabinet when you couldn’t reach it (which was all the time), and he even insisted on answering the door if anyone ever knocked on it after dark.

Really, the only somewhat negative thing you could say about him was the fact he could -- and did -- play the drums. But he didn’t even have a real drum set in his room; he had one of those electric ones, and whenever he played them he plugged in his headphones so you could only hear the soft thud of his sticks and nothing more. I mean, unless you specifically asked to hear him play, which you had quite a few times. The guy was good!

He was also super good about grabbing something you’d forgotten after you’d already left the house and running down to meet you in the parking lot to give it to you.

Which, sadly, happened more often than you liked.

And which, sadly, had happened just now.

Today, it was your watch. And, yes, you could totally just use the clock on your phone, but you were just the kind of person who liked wearing a watch. You wanted to be able to just glance down at your wrist at a moment’s notice and not have to worry about finding your phone or reaching into your pocket or seeing all of the notifications you had to go through -- emails, messages, Tweets, Instagram posts...

You just liked wearing a watch! And if you weren’t wearing one, you felt weird.

So, once you rolled up to the first red light after realizing you’d forgotten to put one on this morning, you grabbed your phone and quickly sent a message to Minhyuk. He usually replied within seconds, and just after you pressed ‘Send,’ the light turned green again. After tossing your phone onto the passenger’s seat, you moved into the turn lane so you could turn around and head back to your apartment building. You knew he would see your message, go into your room, grab the first watch he saw, and head out to the parking lot to meet you -- it had happened several times before, and it was going to happen several more times after this, of that you had no doubt.

But, just a few minutes later, when you pulled up to the spot in which you usually parked, you didn’t see Minhyuk out there with one of your watches in his hand. You didn’t see him at all, actually...

Even though it would probably mean you would be a bit late for work, you pulled into the parking spot, turned off your car, and headed inside.

You began to get more concerned when you didn’t even run into Minhyuk on the way to your front door, and as soon as you unlocked and opened it, you called out his name.

“Did you get my message?” you asked, heading back to your room.

Just as you left the living room and turned the corner, you heard his bathroom door open. You could hear the shower running, and before you could even register that Minhyuk was walking toward the linen closet with absolutely no clothes on, you realized that was why he hadn’t been waiting for you outside. He had been getting ready to take a shower, so he hadn’t --

OH MY GOD, HE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO CLOTHES ON.

“Oh god!” you cried, your eyes widening before you quickly brought your hands up to cover your face. “Sorry!”

You heard Minhyuk’s astonished -- and embarrassed -- cry, and then you heard the rapid sounds of him opening the closet and grabbing a towel.

“What are --”

“I forgot my watch,” you explained hastily. “I texted you, but I didn’t know you were -- I was just coming in to -- I am SO sorry!”

“I was going to take a -- but I forgot --” he stammered.

You peeked through your fingers, seeing he had successfully covered himself with the towel he’d originally forgotten, but you still decided to put him out of his misery -- put you both out of your misery, actually -- and end the awkwardness.

“No -- no worries,” you said. “I’ll just --”

And you practically tripped on your own feet as you dashed to your room to grab a watch. (You actually grabbed two watches so you could keep one at work for when this happened again -- and you knew it would. You would much rather just have a backup watch in your desk drawer than risk this ever happening again.)

By the time you got back out into the hallway, Minhyuk was gone, and his bathroom door was closed.

Thank god.

You got back in your car and drove to work in a daze, your mind both completely blank but also filled with the image of a completely naked Minhyuk.

But it wasn’t until you actually arrived at work and sat down at your desk that you realized...

His body? Absolutely banging.

You truly almost screamed out loud when you thought that.

No! You should not be thinking that about your roommate!

You should not!

Not ever!

Never!

...Even though it was true.

NO!

Stop!

Stop it right now!

Stop thinking about his very well-muscled arms.

And his broad shoulders.

And his sturdy chest.

And his lean waist.

And his --

You blinked hard, squeezing your eyes shut in hopes that it would make all of these highly inappropriate thoughts vanish from your mind.

But, of course, it didn’t.

In fact, you went through your entire workday unable to not think about Minhyuk’s body -- his naked body. And, needless to say, you also went through your entire workday with flaming hot cheeks.

When your watch beeped to signal the end of your shift, you truly almost collapsed onto your desk and cried.

How were you supposed to go home and face him?! How were you supposed to act normally around him?! How were you supposed to look at him and not imagine him with no clothes on and not imagine him holding you with those well-muscled arms and kissing you with his sweet lips and carrying you into --

Your eyes widened.

...Oh my --

Why had you --

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

...Ah, yes. In case it hasn’t become obvious, today was the day when you had woken up in the morning and hadn’t known it would change your life. Today was the day you had absolutely not been prepared for -- the day you had accidentally seen your roommate naked.

And now you had to go home and see him and try to hide the fact you had been thinking about his body at work all day and also that you’d kind of imagined him kissing you and carrying you to his bedroom while he was still naked.

Shit.

You took a deep breath as you stood at the door of your apartment, one hand resting on the doorknob. Never in your life had you thought you would ever have to prepare yourself to walk into your own apartment, but here we are.

“Just be normal,” you whispered to yourself. “Normal is not that hard. You’re normal every other day of your life, so just --”

“Hey,” Minhyuk interrupted, sounding a bit confused as he walked up behind you.

You jumped at his sudden presence, scrambling to turn around as your heart nearly leaped out of your chest.

“Oh, sorry!” he replied with slightly widened eyes. Obviously, he hadn’t thought you’d be so scared by his simply greeting you, just like you hadn’t thought he wouldn’t be inside the apartment! “I didn’t -- Are you okay?”

“Yes!” you assured him hastily.

“You just... were standing there for a long time. Did you forget your key?”

Oh, god, why had he used the word ‘forget’? It only reminded you of what had happened this morning. Did you now have a reputation of forgetting things?

“No, I --”

But you didn’t even bother coming up with an excuse. You simply whirled back around and opened the door.

It wasn’t until you got inside and hung your bag and jacket up in the coat closet when you realized Minhyuk was carrying two boxes of pizza.

You opened your mouth to ask him about it as you closed the closet door, but he began speaking before you got the chance.

“I hope you’re hungry for pizza,” he said, and one glance at him awarded you the view of his very sweet but very awkward grin.

“Yes,” you answered. “Always. Of course.”

“Good. I figured... I wanted to apologize --”

“Oh my god,” you intervened. “No, you don’t need to -- I should be the one --”

“I usually wait until you’re --”

“I should’ve known when you weren’t out in the parking lot --”

“And I hardly ever forget a towel --”

“I called your name, but I guess you couldn’t hear, and I --”

“I’m so sorry,” you both said at the same time.

Somehow, that seemed to break the awkward ice, and both of you let out a soft, relieved sigh.

“So,” Minhyuk said with an adorable grin. “Pizza?”

A grin of your own tugged at the corners of your lips, and you nodded. “Pizza.”

And you thought it was truly resolved. Honestly, you did.

But then Minhyuk suggested watching an episode of the drama the two of you were watching together, and you both plopped on the couch with your pizza, and even though you weren’t sitting that close to him -- like, you weren’t even touching him at all! -- just the fact that you could reach out and touch him was enough for all of your thoughts from earlier to come rushing back into your brain.

Great.

I mean, it didn’t help that he was wearing shorts and had a penchant of stretching his legs out to prop his heels up on the coffee table.

Minhyuk had definitely worn shorts before, and you had definitely seen his bare legs before -- why were you just now noticing how wonderfully sculpted they were?

He had definitely worn short-sleeved t-shirts before, and you had definitely seen his bare arms before -- why were you just now noticing how exquisitely toned they were?

It had to have been because of the drumming thing. That absolutely accounted for his muscled arms and bulging biceps --

Wow, the word ‘bulging’ was absolutely not the best word for you to be thinking right now. In fact, it might even be the worst!

Suddenly, Minhyuk let out a burst of laughter, and you jumped yet again. You, apparently, had been so lost in your own head that you hadn’t been paying enough attention to the drama.

And Minhyuk noticed.

After his laughter died down, he glanced over at you with a somewhat concerned expression. “You okay?”

Your eyebrows shot halfway up your forehead, and you nodded hastily. “Yeah, I -- just zoned out a little. Work was hectic today.”

Good save.

Minhyuk lifted his heels from the coffee table, setting his feet gently down on the floor in front of the couch and looked as if he was going to reach for the remote. “Do you wanna just finish this another time? If you’re stressed out, you should go relax. Take a bath or something.”

Noooooooooooo!

Why had he suggested a bath?! It was bad enough that you had seen him naked; you certainly didn’t want to give him the opportunity to see you naked! Or even think about it!

“No, no, I’m good,” you choked out. “We can finish this.”

And you shoved a piece of pizza into your mouth before you could say anything else. Your mind was so chaotic with thoughts of Minhyuk naked right now, you were actually terrified you would unintentionally blurt out something you would immediately regret.

Somehow, you managed to make it through the rest of the show -- though, you’d ended up eating almost an entire pizza as a way to distract yourself both from thinking so much about Minhyuk with no clothes on and saying something about it.

Minhyuk had, of course, mentioned that you’d eaten the whole thing. Not in a bad way, of course. He was rarely ever mean-spirited. In fact, if he ever had been mean-spirited, you hadn’t been there to see it. He had simply chuckled and pointed out that your day must have really been stressful.

You had just chuckled in return and nodded before taking another huge bite.

So, yes, while you had made it through the rest of the show and had headed off to get ready for bed without letting slip what it was that had you so bothered, you were now flopped across your bed with the fullest stomach you’d probably ever had in your entire life.

You were definitely going to regret this tomorrow. Actually, you were going to regret a lot of things about today. But you were also going to learn from your mistakes and make sure they never -- ever -- happened again.

Ever.

Your eyes shot open in panic.

“Oh, my god,” you whispered in-between heaving breaths as you slowly sat up in your bed.

The clock on your bedside table beamed out five AM, and you knew immediately you wouldn’t be getting back to sleep. Your alarm was going to go off in an hour and a half for work --

...Except. It was Saturday.

Lovely.

One of the two days you could sleep in, and you ended up waking up even earlier than you did during the week!

All because of this dream.

Oh, this dream.

It was the reason why your eyes had just shot open in panic, and the reason why your chest had been heaving trying to catch your breath.

It will be no surprise to learn that the dream had been one of the more erotic variety, and it had starred Minhyuk.

Of course.

Of freaking course!

Could you be any more obvious?! Having a hot and sexy dream about your roommate the night after accidentally seeing him naked. Wow.

Well, there was really only one thing you could do right now. Since you weren’t going to be able to fall back asleep, and since your hormones and adrenaline were both raging at the moment, you dragged yourself out of bed and got changed into your workout gear.

You were in the perfect mood to exercise, and since this so rarely happened, you needed to take advantage of it.

So, once you got changed and filled up your water bottle, you hauled yourself over to the complex’s gym in the main building. Unsurprisingly, as you got onto an elliptical and put your headphones in, you thought in the back of your mind that Minhyuk had to visit the gym very regularly to get a body like that.

You quickly set the time and intensity on the machine as high as you dared; you would have to go long and hard to get the images of Minhyuk working out expelled from your brain.

And now you would probably have to add ten extra minutes because of the words “long and hard.”

Sigh.

As you’d expected, the adrenaline you’d gotten from your dream had been the secret ingredient for a workout that you’d usually been missing. If you ever found a) the time and b) the energy to exercise, it was typically right before you went to bed, and your adrenaline was basically non-existent.

So, suffice it to say, this morning workout was without a doubt the best workout you’d had in quite some time. When you got back to the apartment almost two hours later, you were exhausted and energized and disgusting.

But at least you had elliptical-ed your Minhyuk dream out of your brain.

...Kind of.

It was still definitely there, but more like near the back. Not right in the forefront. Not screaming out for attention. Not standing right in front of you making a smoothie --

Oh, wait.

Since it wasn’t even seven in the morning, you had expected to come back to a quiet, empty apartment -- not truly empty, of course. You’d just thought that Minhyuk would still be asleep. Because, as we established earlier, it was Saturday. And we all know why you were awake this early on a Saturday, but why would Minhyuk be?

Alas. He was. He was in the kitchen in a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts, standing in front of the blender and making a smoothie.

He jumped a little when you opened the front door, glancing over his shoulder and looking both confused and relieved when he saw you.

And he also looked sweaty.

Wonderful.

Fantastic.

Just what you needed right now: a sweaty Minhyuk who was showing off his arms and legs. Great!

He stopped the blender and said, “You’re up early.”

“Yeah, I -- I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I thought I might as well go to the gym,” you explained.

“Oh, yeah? I just went on a run.”

Which accounted for his sweatiness.

“Do you want a post-workout smoothie?”

You had been kind of sneaking your way to your room, but when he asked you that, you paused. “Oh -- no. No, thank you,” you answered.

Minhyuk then turned around fully to face you, leaning back against the kitchen counter and frowning at you. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting really weird since --”

He stopped talking, and your heart stopped along with him.

Oh, god, this conversation was about to get really awkward, wasn’t it?

To your surprise, though, he simply nodded slowly to himself before turning back around and grabbing a glass for his smoothie.

Without another word, you hurried to your room to get ready for a shower.

Quite early on in your roommate relationship, you discovered that Minhyuk was a homebody. If he wasn’t going to work or over to his parent’s house for dinner, he usually stayed home. Most of the time, he was in his room either practicing his drumming or reading or something. Sometimes, he watched movies out in the living room, and he also liked to spend time in the kitchen.

And this is exactly why, after showering and getting ready for the day, you headed out.

You went to visit your best friend/former roommate and her wife. You went to visit your parents. You went to the local mall to do some shopping. You treated yourself to a movie and some dinner afterward.

Basically, you did whatever you could to stay away from your apartment.

Working out had helped temporarily -- mainly, it had pushed the dream you’d had from your mind and made it less vivid. But it really hadn’t done anything about what had started it all. You still saw Minhyuk’s unclothed body every time you closed your eyes, including when you blinked. And you saw it in extreme detail.

But it was now getting dark outside, and you’d done everything you could think of to keep yourself from going home. Everything short of spending the night with your parents, of course, and you weren’t quite so desperate as to do that.

A deep sigh escaped your lips as you exited the restaurant where you’d just had dinner, and you clutched the strap of your bag as you headed out to the parking lot.

You began to rehearse what you were going to say to Minhyuk if he asked where you’d been all day -- and he would, of course. He was just like that. He cared about your life, and he seemed to genuinely enjoy hearing about your day if you did anything out of the ordinary. You knew you needed to be careful about what you told him because you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

You weren’t hiding from him.

You were just...

...Well. You weren’t exactly sure what you were doing because it certainly seemed like you were hiding from him.

But you weren’t! You were just --

All of a sudden, you felt a presence behind you. You blinked rapidly and turned to look, but before you got the chance, you felt a strong grip on your bag.

“Wha --” you gasped, your body jerking in shock as the strong grip began to tear your bag away from you.

Before whoever it was could fully take it from you, though, you reached out and grabbed onto it as tightly as you could. You whirled around, your heart stopping when you saw some guy you’d never seen before. He was wearing a dark turtleneck and hat with sunglasses covering his eyes even though the sun was almost fully set.

“Stop!” you cried out, trying to yank your bag out from his hands.

When he wouldn’t let go, you kicked one of your legs out in an attempt to knock him down -- but he was too quick, and he, apparently, thought your idea was a good one because he followed suit.

He kicked you right in the thigh, and you went flying down onto the asphalt.

You cried out in pain, and when you saw the guy running away with your purse tucked under his arm, you cried out again. “Stop! That’s my --!”

But the pain was becoming too intense now -- you realized just how hard you’d landed on the ground and how hard he’d kicked your leg.

Tears pooled in your eyes, and they began to stream down onto your cheeks as you thought about the fact he now had your bag.

Your keys, your wallet, your work ID card... everything you needed for your daily life.

But, thankfully, not everything.

Your phone was still in your back pocket, and even though you had fallen squarely onto your butt, when you gingerly lifted one side to take it out, you found there were only a few minor scratches. Thank god.

You first called the police, explaining to them as steadily as you could that you’d just been mugged. You were relatively okay -- no ambulance was necessary at the moment, but he’d taken off with your bag. You gave the best description of the guy you could muster as well as a very detailed description of your bag and its contents, and they promised you they would be there within ten minutes.

When you hung up with the police, you called the first person you could think of: Minhyuk.

“Hey, what’s up?” he answered, and you heard the muffled sounds of a movie in the background.

You hated to interrupt his movie night, but... this was kind of important.

“Hey,” you sniffled.

Before you could even get another word out, Minhyuk said, “What’s wrong?”

“I --” you stammered, feeling your throat closing up. “I just -- I had dinner, and I was just walking out to my car, and this guy -- he -- he took -- and he kicked --”

“Are you all right?”

“Kind of. He kicked me down to the ground, and -- and he took my bag, but I don’t think anything is broken or bleeding,” you told him, your voice thick with emotion.

“Did you call the police?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Where are you?”

Your heart began to race inside your chest as you told him the name of the restaurant, and after promising he would be there as soon as he could, you told him to bring your spare key. Even if you didn’t drive yourself home tonight, all of your purchases from your mall shopping spree were in your trunk -- you sure as hell weren’t leaving without those.

“Do you want me to stay on the line as I’m driving?” he asked. You heard the sound of the front door closing behind him, and even though he wasn’t physically here with you yet, you felt so much better just knowing that he was on his way.

“No, it’s okay,” you assured him.

“All right,” he answered, though he didn’t sound too convinced. “I’ll be there soon, just hang tight, okay?”

You hummed in response, and when the call ended, you slowly pushed yourself off the ground to stand up.

Thankfully, your car wasn’t too far away, and you managed to limp over to it before anyone going into or out of the restaurant could see you. It would be embarrassing enough to have Minhyuk see you like this -- you didn’t need strangers to!

And, now that you actually had some time to think about it... why had you called Minhyuk? Why hadn’t you called your best friend or your dad? Was it because he had been in the back of your mind all day? Because you basically hadn’t thought of anyone else since... oh, yesterday morning?

I mean, yeah, he was a guy. He was strong, and it would have been really helpful if he had been here just a few minutes ago. But there was nothing he could do about the situation now. He couldn’t chase the guy down and tackle him to the ground to get your bag back.

When you saw blue flashing lights in the distance, you suddenly realized that you’d called Minhyuk because he was the only one who had access to your spare car key!

Of course! That was totally the reason why! Your key was in your bag, and your spare key was in the apartment, and Minhyuk was also in the apartment, and that was it!

You almost let out a sigh of relief at finally having figured it out, but the police were approaching you, so you had to get your wits about you to give your statement.

You greeted the officers quietly, assuring them you were all right and repeating the description of both the event and the perpetrator you’d given over the phone.

Just as you’d finished telling them the color of his turtleneck, you heard the squeal of brakes on tires, a car door opening, and --

“Y/N!”

Your heart jumped up into your throat, and your eyes darted over to see Minhyuk getting out of his car and jogging over to you.

Your eyes filled with tears again at the sight of him, and before you knew it, he had reached you and enveloped you in his arms.

“Oh, my god,” he breathed into your hair as he held you carefully. “Are you okay?”

You nodded even though you were currently crying, your fingers clutching the back of his shirt.

And you knew this was why you had called him. Not because you needed your spare key -- though that was true.

You’d called him because you needed this. You needed his arms around you, you needed his comforting, familiar scent surrounding you.

You needed him.

“Thank you, ma’am,” the officer interrupted. “I think we got all we need. We’ll give you a call when we find him so we can return your things.”

You were so deep in Minhyuk’s embrace, that you couldn’t even lift your head to say ‘Thank you’ or nod at them in response, so Minhyuk did it for you. He thanked them for their time, and as they left, one hand moved up to cradle the back of your head.

The two of you stayed there for at least a few minutes after the police drove off, though it seemed like much, much longer.

When Minhyuk finally pulled away, he took your face in his hands and began to examine you for injuries.

“I’m okay,” you assured him, your voice raspy and soft.

“Where did he kick you?” he asked in harsh, clipped tones.

“My -- my leg. I had tried to kick him, but he dodged it, and then he kicked me.”

“You’re sure nothing’s broken?”

You nodded, and Minhyuk’s hands moved to your shoulders.

“You don’t need to go to the hospital?”

You shook your head. “I just --” Tears began to fill your eyes once again, and you swallowed down the lump forming in your throat. “I just want to go home.”

“All right,” he whispered. “I’ll drive, and I’ll come to get your car later, okay?”

“Wait -- I have some bags in the trunk. I -- I went shopping earlier.”

Minhyuk nodded and reached into his pocket for your key. He unlocked your car, popped your trunk, and grabbed all of your bags before transferring them to his own trunk.

You managed to get into his car by yourself, wincing and groaning as the pain got even more acute and obvious.

You were not looking forward to how you would feel when you woke up tomorrow.

When Minhyuk joined you in the car, he turned the engine over, put the gear in drive... and then he reached for your hand.

He took your hand and brought it over into his lap, his fingers grasping yours tightly.

But you didn’t even have time to process what he’d done -- what he was doing -- before he asked, “You didn’t know the guy?”

“No,” you murmured.

“So, it was just random,” he stated rather than questioned. “It doesn’t make it better but at least we know you weren’t a strategic target.”

“He -- he does have my license now, though,” you pointed out. “He knows where I live.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to leave your side until he’s found and arrested.”

...Oh, boy. You’d spent the whole day trying to avoid seeing him, and now you would have no choice but to see him.

Maybe it was the adrenaline or maybe it was the feeling you’d gotten from being in his arms... or maybe it was something else entirely, but you felt the very strong urge to tell him everything. Tell him why you’d been out all day. Tell him why you’d woken up so early.

...So, you did.

“I stayed away from the apartment all day because I didn’t want to see you,” you admitted. “The... the situation yesterday just -- it really threw me for a loop. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and I woke up so early this morning because I had a dream about you, and now I don’t think I’ll be able to stop thinking about how it felt to be in your arms, and if I had just not forgotten my stupid watch, none of this would have happened, and --”

“Wait,” he interjected, squeezing your hand. “You... you haven’t been able to stop thinking about me?”

...Why did he not sound totally freaked out?

“Uh... no,” you gulped.

And, believe it or not, Minhyuk let out a sigh of relief.

A sigh of relief!

What?!

“I thought I had traumatized you,” he said. “Like, in a bad way. I was honestly waiting for you to tell me you were going to move out or something!”

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about that, but hearing him say it actually hurt your heart. You hadn’t realized until now that moving out was the last thing you wanted to do.

But, still. You couldn’t quite believe that he was relieved.

“No, you didn’t traumatize me, but... I mean, you heard me say I had a dream about you? And, like, in the dream you were very much in the same... outfit as you were yesterday morning. If you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” he chuckled.

Chuckled! He chuckled! Why was he being so nonchalant about this?!

“So, why are you still holding my hand?” you asked, your brow furrowed as you stared at his fingers linked through yours. “Why aren’t you grossed out?!”

“Because I like you!” he answered, sounding as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And, I swear to god, if I ever find the guy who did this to you, I will kill him.”

Your eyes widened. That certainly wasn’t the Minhyuk you knew. He barely argued with the landlord when something in your apartment was broken, and you definitely could not imagine him ever wanting to kill someone.

But one look at his face told you that he was incredibly serious about his statement.

Which meant he really must like you.

Why else would he get so... protective? Why else would he state his murderous intentions and promise you he wouldn’t leave your side until the robber was caught?

“...You -- you like me?” you asked meekly.

Minhyuk glanced over at you and dipped his chin in a small nod. “Yeah,” he answered. “I... have for a while now.”

And, despite the throbbing pain in your thigh, hip, and back, despite the fear in your stomach, and despite the fact you’d spent the last two days wishing it had never happened, you said, “Well, you should have made me walk in on you naked earlier, then.”

Minhyuk burst out laughing, and the sound of it made your heart glow. He brought your hand up to his smiling lips, placing an amused kiss on your knuckles as your heart glowed even more.

You knew there was quite a serious talk you had to have when you got home -- maybe not tonight, but certainly very, very soon. There were boundaries you should establish, feelings you needed to flesh out, and decisions you needed to make.

But, right now, you were more than content to sit in his car, hold his hand, and finally -- finally -- let yourself think about him with no clothes on.

It would probably be a while before you saw that again, but hey -- at least now you didn’t have to feel creepy about it.

OTHER SIGNS: ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, SAGITTARIUS, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS, PISCES

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 3 years

Note

Hello! (Different anon here). So, re the recent discussions abt the MCU/Disney as imperialist propaganda, how do you think we as fans should approach the issue? Bc--I mean personally speaking I only engage w Disney properties via fandom, don't reblog (cont.)

(part 2) or promote the films/shows themselves, but still worry about the issues of fan complicity in corporate mythmaking. And I totally understand that the answer is "it's complicated", but I wanted to hear your thoughts?

Hi ^-^

It is a complicated matter and I think there’s two major perspective on which you can see the issue and I don’t think one is ‘right’ and the other ‘wrong’, they’re both valid points and sadly coexist. (Not to be like ‘we live in a society’ but we cannot decide to exit capitalism, we can only move inside it.)

One is fandom as resistance: by engaging with the text in a manner that deconstructs it and that transforms it (transformative works that queer the text up, for instance), I am doing an exercise in resistance, and my act of putting queerness in a text that evades it is radical.

The other is fandom as advertising: we’re effectively giving visibility and attaching positive connotations to a product. How many people check out shows after seeing gifsets and fanart on tumblr? A lot. We should be consuming “good” media (say, indie content over megacorporation stuff) and giving visibility to that.

I don’t think that refusing to engage with the “problematic” text at all lest we dirty our hands by making ourselves complicit of the system is a particularly fruitful approach (obviously I’m talking about collective actions, individually one can just do whatever they want within the limits of manners, it’s fandom), it seems to me more like an act of purity. Transformative works have a long, long history and I do think there’s power in that history. Transformative works do help people. And “problematic” media attracts fandoms because there’s so much fertile ground for transformation.

Also, not less importantly imo, it’s not like you can trace a line between Evil Media and Good Media. The MCU is so blatant it’s not really difficult to see it, but how much media just incorporates values that are just mainstream in the culture that produced it and are not good? How do you trace a line? Is Drarry fanfiction advertising for Rowling? Should we stop it at all? What counts as propaganda? Must it have gone through the pencil of the American military or also not?

Maybe I’m just trying to justify my own actions, but I think that maybe we kind of overstate our own importance...? Disney spends billions on marketing, and unless it turns out half of you are Disney accounts swaying the population like the Russian blogs in 2016, I’m not even sure fandom is really that big a part of the marketing strategy. (Do we stop watching actors’ interviews? Is Anthony Mackie’s face problematic during a marketing tour? We end up in directions I’m not comfortable with.) I mean, I know that social media activity is still part of the marketing strategy, and an important one at that. But social media activity comes in many forms and some of those are transformative. Where do you trace the line? Edits are good but gifsets are bad? What about a gifset with different captions that make the scene gay? Slash fanart? Non-slash fanart? Fanart of a canon straight ship? (Hint: none of those are bad.)

Something else I want to point out: this kind of talk comes up when they (not just Disney) make content aimed at progressive audiences. It’s natural. An audience that will pay attention to this kind of issues will not really care about stuff that doesn’t really ping their radar. But the result is that it seems like we’re particularly vicious against “good” things: movies with a female lead, shows with a Black lead. You’ll see arguments like “oh, you weren’t saying this before, but you’re saying it for this product about a woman/Black person so you’re misogynist/racist!”. That’s in bad faith. Of course it stands out when the propaganda is done in something that markets itself as progressive. Nobody really goes to see Macho Batman With Biceps Feels Manly Angst #37 and expects intersectional feminism in it. But they make a movie with a female lead for the first time since 1926, and you’re like “oh? Maybe good? Maybe one good thing finally?” and then brown-skinned people with beards in sandy places want more bombs. Guess which one progressive-leaning people will talk about the most?

I have one Harry Potter fic on my ao3. It’s something I wrote as a teen and found a few years ago and, while it’s not really great, I decided to publish it. I recently debated with myself whether to delete it. I didn’t want to have something related to Rowling on my account. But then I thought, then what? Should everyone delete all Harry Potter fanart ever? Sure, no one will miss my old fic because it’s bad, but that’s not the point. Do I think that deleting HP fics is a “good” gesture? Then do I think everyone should do the same? No. The world of HP fanworks is vast and rich and has a lot of beauty in it. Same with the MCU fandom.

This said, individually one chooses. If you’re personally uncomfortable engaging with a text, you stop engaging with that text. If you want to make transformative works of the most problematic text ever, you make them. (And really, who decides what is too problematic for posting on tumblr about it? Fandom’s still having debates on that nazi manga with the big monsters.) Mega-popular texts are also good collective exercises in text analysis and further debates because they become a common language for many people. (There’s also the fact that the MCU didn’t create the characters, and they have actually a long and often powerful history, although that’s not a culture I’m familiar with.)

Tl,dr... don’t subscribe to the platform :p

#fandom #mcu #anon

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rhube · 3 years

Text

20 Questions For Fanfic Writers

I got this from @fenrir-kin‘s post I saw someone reblog and they said that anyone who wants to do it should consider themselves tagged, so... same.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

23 on my main account; 32 total.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

397,777 on the main account; about 550,000 total.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Stone Fever (Anders/Fenris - Dragon Age 2)

2. The Naked Anders (Anders/Fenris - Dragon Age 2 )

3. A Gentle Touch (Anders/Fenris - Dragon Age 2 )

4. An Uncomfortable Discovery (JustFenHanders - Dragon Age 2 )

5. Self Reflected (Anders/Fenris - Dragon Age 2 )

4. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Sadly, yes. It really sucks.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, nearly every time! TBH, it mostly just seems polite - if someone takes the time to say something nice to me, I usually at least want to thank them, and if they stay a bunch of stuff there’s usually something to reply back about. It excites and delights me to have nice comments on my fic and I like to express that and let people know how happy it makes me.

I usually respond to the nasty comments, too, at least to tell them to bog off. Maybe I should just ignore them, but I’ve never been very good at that. Also sometimes they’re wrong and they need to know it.

Sometimes I get thoughtful comments pointing out something the reader thinks or is worried might be problematic. If it’s earnestly meant I try to respond in kind, even though often it’s a case of them being worried I’m not going to address something when I really wish they’d wait to see how the fic turns out before telling me my fic is problematic. But that’s the problem with an episodic format. It can hurt to get those comments too, but I try to be sensitive to the fact that the person is probably feeling anxious themselves.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Maybe Self Love? (Connor-51/Connor-52)

Although virtually all my fics are extremely angsty, they generally have happy endings too. I like my Hurt with some Comfort at the end. This fic doesn’t *really* have an angsty end, but it doesn’t end in a relatioship either.

(My original fiction is another matter. Thinking about it, a major character dies or is dead/undead in four of my published stories, but is it my fault if only the sad/dark stuff sells?)

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmm, tricky. I think either The Naked Anders (dark in the middle, but the characters not only fall in love, but Fenris is totally won over to Anders’ cause) or A Gentle Touch (much fluffier fic overall, happy ending, but less clear on how a HEA can happen because the wider setting of Kirkwall is cursed and it doesn’t really address how to resolve that).

8. Do you write crossovers?

As a rule, no. I rarely read them, either. HOWEVER, I dearly *wish* I could write a Lucifer/The Good Fight crossover in which Diane Lockhart has to defend Lucifer for something of which he’s complete innocent, and she takes absolutely no shit from him and basically looks askance at the entire LAPD for putting up with his shit.

It would be AMAZING, but I don’t think I know enough about the law to make it work.

9. Do you write smut?

Hahahaha - yes, quite a lot. I once saw someone rec one of my fics and they were like, ‘It’s rated teen for now, but Rhube usually writes explicit, so the rating may rise’ and I was like, yes, that is fair.

I’m 55,000 words into Forgiveness now and I keep having to take breaks to write smutty fics because I CANNOT DEAL with this slow burn nonsense omg I just want the boys to KISS (and then, you know, do the do).

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sincerely hope not. I can’t even imagine the amount of stress I would feel.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? Or turned into podfic?

Alas, no.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I don’t think I could cope with that.

13. What’s your all-time favorite relationship (doesn’t have to be romantic)?

Anders/Fenris, if the hundreds of thousands of words I have apparently written about them is anything to go by.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I believe in my ability to finish all my fics! But if I had to pic, I must admit I have less idea overall of where Fenris by Fenris is going in the long term. Except towards Fenris/Anders/Leto sexytimes. But the more I wrote the more it was becoming an interesting angsty fic instead of a silly doubles-sex fic - which I should have expected, but I foresee troubles ahead.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I think I’m pretty good at writing in the ways that people actually speak, and paying attention to how characters speak in canon.

And well-structured angst. Like, oh, you think you can see how this is going to a familiar angsty place, but have you considered all THESE ways the characters could get upset too? BECAUSE I HAVE - and I really need someone else to feel these feels!

It has long been my dream to create a Nugget of Purest Angst, and I feel like I’m honing my skills through fanfic.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Actions that accompany dialog. She sighed, he nodded, she raised her eyebrows, he ran his hands through his hair, they groaned, she hummed, he paused for a moment (everyone does things for a moment) etc. etc.

Why must my characters move alongside their dialog? Is it not enough that they say the wrong things to each other in ways that reveal their inner torment?

Also, I am lazy about description in fanfic. I know it. But I mostly don’t have the energy these days to slow down for description. Fic comes out however my poor fatigued brain regurgitates it and I rely too much on people knowing what places are like from canon. Sorry.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Uh, why not? I mean, I’m less likely to do it because I suck at second languages, but I don’t see any reason why a person should not. Is this a common issue for people?

18. What’s the first fandom you wrote for?

Strictly speaking? The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. In a fanzine. Proper Old Skool.

19. What are your favorite tropes/scenarios to read or write?

Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Body swaps. Doubles. Mind-control (but we’re resisting it and we’re very upset that it’s happening, but also we had some extensive discussions about consent and we had sex anyway and we liked it). Forced to Fuck/Sex Pollen/Love Potions. Heats (and Oh No! We’re trapped together! What shall we do?). Arseholes to Lovers.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Complete? Probably Stone Fever. The angst is good and somehow this pwp setting got proper feels and character development in it, as well as a lot of sex. To the extent that I’m now rewriting in an original setting and with original characters (follow @rubyjones for news on that, if I ever get well enough to finish that project).

Incomplete? Probably An Uncomfortable Discovery - the start could do with some polishing as I only expected it to be a quick and dirty short fic, but now it’s 79,000 words long and contains some of the best, most angsty stuff I’ve ever written, as well as a kickass, very angsty fight scene.

I have so many feels about that fic and I really regret that I allowed a comment to knock the wind out of my sails so it became hard to get back to it. I WILL finish it one day, though.

#ao3 #fanfic #me #rhube #dragon age 2 #dragon age

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