#but it was 30k of hard work so i'm posting it

[buttercuparry]

I am very worried that Siraj ( @siraj2024 ) may not be able to get to 30k CAD by the end of this week 

We have got only 2 days left now!!

Siraj, who is both a journalist and writer, never imagined a time in which he would be forced to plead for monetary help from strangers on the internet. This genocide, now in its 10th month, has devastated his life and forced him to turn to us, and to you. His house, which was a dream come true for his family, has been bombed by the IDF, forcing Siraj to bear witness to a decade of hard work crumbling to the ground. All this injustice comes at the hands of the illegal settler state of “Israel” and its Imperial sponsor, the USA.

Because of the manufactured famine and violence by the occupation , everyday has been a nightmare for Siraj. Food is hard to come by and what little there is- it is extremely costly. There is also no clean drinking water in Gaza Strip either and this is all the more alarming, since recently there has been discovery of  polio virus in the free flowing sewage water putting all unvaccinated children at risk of an epidemic, with gaza's medical infrastructure almost completely destroyed

The settler colony is not only bombing and administrating deadly ground invasions but, it has also created such conditions that children who by some luck  have escaped being in the line of fire,  now have every possibility of contracting deadly illnesses!

Siraj's little son is seriously ill !!

It is something Siraj has worried about for some time now, with all the illnesses the children of gaza are being exposed to today and none of the medical resources left to help. You cannot afford to get sick in gaza anymore, just as you cannot afford to get injured. This is his worst fear come to life. 

This places Siraj’s son in a deeply vulnerable situation.For the past two days Siraj has been unable to come online properly to campaign - he can’t spare time for the campaign because he must care for his child, and in these two days where Siraj has been stretched thin between obligations, and time was taken from his pleas for help, his campaign stagnated.

If you truly believe in the Palestinian cause, if you truly want them to have a life of dignity then please do not turn away the moment they stop to take a breath.  

Siraj wants to rebuild his home to escape the tent life which is proving difficult for his children! He wants to remain in Gaza. He cannot bear to think that his wife Halima has no privacy, that she has to endure even this amidst trying to survive a genocide. Does he really  have to travel 3 km everyday, no matter what to post his daily updates, for you to keep  caring? Does he have to showcase pictures of his sick children to the world to garner your sympathy? Does he have to expose his family to the racist dehumanization faced by Palestinians in real life and on this site, when he already bears the burnt of harassment from Zionists who hate him for daring to  expose the occupation in all its brutality? If it is not so then please boost and donate!

We only have 2 days to reach 30k !!

Currently at $26930 CAD. Only $40 CAD donated in the last hour. Do not fail Siraj now!

(Vetting at number 219 on Hussein and Nabulsi's list )

[prettylittlels]

the love (tom blyth x reader)

the movie (part 3)

liked by yourusername, tomblyth, and 30k others

@/hannahfkdodd what an amazing night! i'm so thankful for everyone that made this movie the way it is: the cast, the crew, and our beautiful @/yourusername. you made my dream come true. the invisible life of addie larue now in all cinemas 📽

user 1 we love u hannah!!!

yourusername ❤️❤️

user 2 best movie adaptation of all times

oliviarodrigo congrats!!

tom.hughes_ love you 🖤

liked by benbarnes, tomblyth, addielaruemovie and 20k others

@/yourusername i didn't watch the movie, my ten-year-old self aspiring to be a famous writer, dreaming of creating worlds and characters that touched people, wishing she was succesful is. thank you thank you thank you 3000 times. we made it. i love you guys 🤍

user 3 WE LOVE YOU Y/N

liked by yourusername

tomblyth i'm so fucking proud of you

liked by yourusername

user 4 i litteraly came out of the cinema crying, y/n really put everything into this movie.

user 5 little y/n manifested her life bruh

benbarnes i need to be in your next adaptation

-> yourusername you better be

liked by rachelzegler, yourusername, and 10k others

@/tomblyth you really are the love of my life. i've spent 3 years and a half waiting for the right moment to tell the world how incredible you are, and right now that moment has arrived. the people don't know how much you've sacrificed and you've worked for this book and its adaptation. experiencing the process up close is something special that no one but you makes it worth it. thank you for everything, y/n/n.

tagged yourusername

yourusername i love you. i'm forever thankful you're by my side everyday. i wouldn't have cried so hard if these words came from anybody else.

user 5 AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHH

rachelzegler my parents

-> joshandresrivera you mean our parents

user 6 why wont anybody say thing like that to meeee

yourusername posted a story!

tomblyth posted a story!

[kithtaehyung]

[ 3tan11 ] alrighty, my loves. i've been on writing lockdown and took a break to finally type this up. few things to note before drop:

this will either drop tomorrow night as scheduled, or sunday, december 3rd to give me a little more time. too many recent unexpected things happened for me to be completely sure about the 27th drop and it hurts to think about pushing it back, but if i need to, i will.

estimated wc will be 25-30k, so this chapter will be split into two parts - two separate posts - on the same night. i know it will be super easy to just move onto the next part, but please consider interacting with both parts equally even if you do it after reading! any likes, comments, and shares would be loved and appreciated :D

just gonna say this now, but if this gets reported by anyone and slapped with a community label, i'm deleting the posts and will completely reupload. if you are curious as to why, this ask by the wonderful kiki @chryblossomjjk herself sums up why labels are harmful to creators.

if you're a person that reblogs with comments, have those notes saved somewhere in case this happens! if you don't wanna see this on your blog, just filter *ryenfictalk, 3tan11, or three tangerines so that it doesn't show on your feed.

🍊the discord server has been amazing! if you are a reader of the series and wanna join this super fun community, go ahead and apply hehehe. it's been one hell of a time already🍊

that's it for now! love you all and i am gonna work super super hard on this bc i know how long the wait has been, and i truly do wanna put my best effort forward for y'all. if that means pushing it back, so be it! i’ll be sure to let you know once i know for sure❤️‍🩹

[wangxianficrecs]

Rewind 2023 - Proud Author Spotlight

WangxianFicRecs - Rewind 2023

Here are some recommendations from 2023 sent in by our fandom's authors themselves. Make sure to give them much love. PS: Authors, don't be shy! Submit more Proud Author Spotlights!

~*~

I published my first MDZS fic this year.

It's a 60k time travel fix-it fic from the POV of several outsider characters who are all witnesses to Wei Wuxian's change in behaviour and the events following that change.

I tried really hard to stick to canon (novel-only) characterization and I'm really proud of what I wrote so don't hesitate to give it a try (it's complete too!) :D

We'll Build A Dynasty (one the heavens can't shake)

by One_eyed_God (@oneeyedoctogod)

T, 66k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Wuxian is well-known as a trouble-maker, someone who likes jokes and chaos. He promptly proves this by disappearing without a trace from the Cloud Recesses, in the middle of the Lectures. But when war is on the horizon and tensions boil over, can his actions really be summarized as a simple prank? Or, the unbelievable story of Wei Wuxian, time traveller, told from everyone's point of view but his.

~*~

Hi there! I don’t know if anyone remembers, but I posted my first ever fic on Ao3 this year!

Jailbreaking

by CullenBlue (@cullen-blue23)

T, 21k, NHS & WN

Summary: During the Wen indoctrination, we see everyone escape during the fight with Xuanwu… except Huaisang, who had fainted earlier. So, in short… how TF did he escape?? The story of how Nie Huaisang broke out of Qishan, and the events that happened afterwards

~*~

Mod Kay himself here :D I published a fic this year where novel canon Lan Wangji transmigrates into the CQL-verse and saves post-canon Wei Wuxian, who struggles to keep himself alive during his lonely travels. It goes hard on the It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, but I promise there's a happy ending.

the roots

by thelastdboy (@thelastdboyy)

E, 30k, Wangxian

Summary: In one universe, Wei Wuxian had been left by the side of the road while Lan Wangji had become the Chief Cultivator. He found himself alone again, discarded and heartbroken. He also found himself to be a target again, as people started hunting the Yiling Laozu once more. He was all alone and just so fucking tired that he couldn't even bring himself to fight back. Some part of him yearned to return to the peaceful oblivion that had been death. In another universe, Lan Wangji's world fell apart in a single day. He was forced to bury not only his son, but his husband as well. Sizhui's Wen heritage had been discovered and Wei Wuxian's past had once again inspired animosity. While Sizhui would hopefully find peace at least, Wei Wuxian's soul had been destroyed and Lan Wangji would rather destroy his own soul than never be re-united with Wei Wuxian again. However, his late husband had left him one last gift: a path into a different universe. Or: MDZS!Lan Wangji transmigrates into the CQL-verse just in time to save post-canon CQL!Wei Wuxian. Together, they grieve and eventually, they find a home for themselves.

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)

[zarvasace]

It’s “appreciate yourself” hours! Pick five pieces of writing/art that you’ve done that you love and talk about them! ❤️❤️❤️

Ahhhh okay, thank you!! 💜🌻 I finally have a free moment (aka work is slow) so I'm going to work on drafting this out :) I have far too much art I'm proud of—I'm at a stage in my progress right now where I think my art looks pretty awesome. So this list will be stuff from my Greatest Hits collection on AO3. In order of oldest to newest, I think:

incandescently happy

An LU post-adventure work, one of the first longer fics I posted. I released one chapter a day over the summer of 2022, so a lot of the notes have something about my day in them. It's about 30k all told.

I absolutely adored expanding on what the boys might do after the whole LU adventure happens (though I did forget about the fact that I think Time and Malon have a kid during this time!) This work features some proto-Shatterproof stuff, like Wind having a prosthetic leg and Four starting to specialize in crafting prosthetics/disability aids. I gave Hyrule longer hair and a job making maps for the royal family. Legend got another adventure but also started a magic garden/orchard, which pulls in more business than Ravio's stuff. Four and his grandpa adopted a single mother and her two kids. Man I went off with some of these headcanons. I've always considered writing more in this world, but I think it stands very well on its own. Maybe someday I might revisit and rewrite it with some of my new skills. :)

Rise and Shine and Fall

Whumptober 2022, focused entirely on LU! Guys this thing is almost 78k. I realize now that most people pre-plan or pre-write for things like Whumptober, but I wrote these one by one every day, which was extra-hard because I had both college classes and a day job at the time. I came up with some fun AUs, learned a lot about writing (especially whump), and proved to myself that I can do hard things like this!! I've adored doing daily challenges since, though I haven't done it in a while. I look forward to this year's whumptober though!

I really like the table of contents in the first chapter—it makes things easy to find. I know individual works are probably more accessible, but I was still getting to know AO3, and those big numbers are fun. XD I have a hard time picking favorites, because I really went off on these, but I'd say a couple of them are:

Chp 3, "Right Here" about Sky

Chp 7, "Proof of Life" about Four and Shadow

Chp 18, "I'm onwy a babey :(" about Wind

Chp 21, "6:13" about Hyrule and Time

Chp 26, "Silence is Golden" about Wild

Chp 31-32, "The Worst Thing About Earth" about Legend, but kind of more specifically the rewrite/expansion I did last year... haha...

The Marvelous Misadventures of Wind and His Merry Band or Maybe-Human Heroes

It's been a while since I updated this story (56k, 6/8 chapters), but it's constantly on my mind. I've started chapter 7 twice, and I know what I want to happen, but I am easily distracted by the siren call of some other whump fics. XD

I freaking love this story, though. I really want to finish it. It's kind of an... experiment? I guess? I want to get published someday, and I picture myself writing middle-grade novels. This story is sort of my attempt to hit that tone. Also I just love Wind so so so much. Let him be cool!!

Blood-Sucker's Guide to High School

56k Four Swords completed story! I wrote this in a frenzy of like two or three weeks, then took another two to edit. It takes plot points from a vampire novel I enjoyed and twists and applies them to a story about Shadow and the Four Swords manga boys. I'm very proud of what I accomplished here, and that it's a complete story! I think it worked out really well. I learned a lot about plotting and handling larger stories, and it helped that I had the half-remembered structure of an existing novel to use as training wheels.

I love the worldbuilding in this story! The premise is that Shadow is an evil soulless vampire from a (rather abusive, not that he sees it) family of the same, but then he gets the ability to walk in the sunshine. He's assigned to go to high school for a while to get a feast for the vampire gala, but meanwhile he's developing a conscience and getting very attached to these human boys. I think I did a good job. I love rereading this, every scene is just so fun! :)

Counterbalance

55k exactly of a stupid LU darks AU. This started life as a series of oneshots and then the plot progressively got more and more convoluted and I love these stupid boys so much. The plot is very much not tight, in contrast to Blood-Sucker's Guide, but I learned a lot about how I write and how I like to plan with this one, too.

The characters are stupid and the plot is just kinda silly and there is both a bathhouse scene AND a spa scene. Legend blows up multiple things, my lovely nasty little Dark Links need smacks and therapy, and Prince has a legitimately emotional moment at the end. I love how it turned out, it's like an ugly little stuffed animal I made and hug until the eyes pop out.

That's five but I would be extremely remiss if I did not also mention something from Shatterproof:

The Incredible Shrinking Chain

About 10k, this is entry 31/68 in my series Shatterproof, which is a close-canon AU in which each of the boys has a different physical disability. This series also plays into my publishing ambitions, because whatever I publish will very likely have some disability representation. I'm rather passionate about it, actually! Shatterproof is close to my heart, and I'm so honored that so many people seem to love it too. :) I need to work on the next entry again!!

This entry in particular is so much fun. In it, the whole Chain sans Four is stuck mouse-sized, and Four has to travel out to Twilight's castle with them to get Dusk to help break the curse. They all have to figure out how to navigate while tiny, and Four pulls some very silly stunts. I love them.

Anyway, there's my list!! I've written a lot over the last like two and a half years, and I'm so so glad that I get to be here and part of this community. The LU fandom as a whole (or at least the parts I've seen!) is so welcoming and positive and I try to give back where I can! I'm going to suggest looking through my bookmarks and ultimate rec list collection to find some new favorites from some very talented authors! :) (oof I need to update the collection soon!! I've been seeing some awesome stuff!)

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

Hello!

Masterpost! Masterpost! Masterpost!

In short, almost everyone else in the fandom has one of these, and I love feeling included, so I decided to make masterpost for my blog!

My name is Helena, and I'm 21. My goal is to write and publish my own original works (I've actually written one book already, but publishing is hard!), but I also might go to grad school next year. I love coffee and getting little treats. I do a lot of yoga, I read a ton of books then journal my thoughts on them, and I absolutely fell in love with Fourth Wing this past February.

Fics!

One Night, And Then Another

ONATA was originally written for the fourth wing birthday bash, but a lot of people in the comments asked for more, so I decided to expand the universe into a full length fic! ONATA is complete at 103K words.

Here, Violet has some slightly stalkerish tendencies, and a mild Xaden Riorson obsession (she's just like me for real). But, when Liam sets Violet and Xaden up on a blind date, Violet realizes that Xaden's the key to unravelling the mystery behind her brother and father's deaths. She has to decide if answers are worth the risk of getting close to him. Spoiler alert: they are.

Along with One Night, And Then Another, there's One Night, which is a prequel/prologue of sorts (in that it details the Riorgail one night stand that created the dramatic tension in ONATA) but the two fics can be read in any order. (16K)

I also have my RQ gift exchange fic, in which Imogen and Garrick share a tender moment mid-Iron Flame: Homesick

My prompt was quite literally Immrick and romance, and I like to think I delivered! (6K)

I also have my first fic ever written for this fandom: Of Mothers and Storms

This is a super short work which was basically an excuse to drop in on what life might be like for Violet and Xaden post-war, post-Venin, and post-Navarre. (1K)

And last, but certainly not least, I have some X/V/L porn (though, there are definitely feelings involved, and maybe a teeny tiny sprinkle of plot? If you squint?)

to soothe and be soothed (7k)

I love Xaden, Violet, and Liam together! This scene haunted me for days until I wrote it down.

My road trip fic, On The Road Again (WIP, 30k) in which Xaden and Violet go on a road trip to rescue Bodoc, and deal with feelings!! Also, it IS named after the One Direction tour, not that literally anyone has asked.

Anyway, that's all for now! I'm really hoping to make some friends on here and to chat with everyone more. We have such a lovely fandom community growing, and I really want to be apart of it in a more active way.

I have some other WIPs that I'd LOVE to yap about, such as a plane crash AU, a little Riorgail multiverse fic, and a seasonal/holidays through the seasons series that will explore all of our favorite couples.

I don't have an update schedule, and I'm lucky enough to spend a lot of my summer travelling, but I won't abandon these fics or this fandom, I promise. I have absolutely no idea what I will end up using this blog for, but I'm so excited to find out, and to hopefully connect with more people soon.

[tulipsie-art]

today marks one year since i left full-time art behind to work as a computer person and i think i can say for sure now that it was the right decision for me

it pains me to admit it because i fought against the idea for so long and was so dead-set on being a career artist but, i'm a lot happier now, not because i'm drawing less (trust me, i'd love to draw and work on stuff i'm passionate about all day), but purely because my work is so much less stressful. i had people telling me that because i'd got 25k or 30k followers on twitter that i'd "made it", that i'd hit the holy grail and could now easily make a living from my artwork, but that was so, so far from the truth lol

i was barely scraping by off commissions with a tiny stipend from patreon, and i would have new artists coming to me asking for advice on how to "make it", how to turn their art into their career, and like, how do you turn around to these bright-eyed artists who are making great work, who see you as their goal and say "i put years of hard work into building this following, got a few huge lucky breaks and i'm earning less than £400 a month from doing it full-time", that fucking sucks man

i don't write this to say "don't follow your dreams!" or "don't bother", i love making and posting art and i've met some of the most wonderful people doing it, but i think my thoughts mirror a lot of youtubers you see who give advice to new youtubers and say "for the love of god do not make this your career" - the unfortunate truth is the whole "social media artist as a living" thing, except for a very select lucky few, is a very rocky business model at best, and if i haven't already mentioned, can be extremely bad for one's mental health for a whole bunch of reasons

it's a career path i see glorified a fair bit and a lot of people aspire to it, but having tried to walk that path and been ostensibly "successful", god damn is it tough, if not impossible

i guess my other point, if there is any, is that artists on the whole have it really fucking tough, and if you have an artist you love and it is within your means to support them, please do so. i guarantee they're struggling out there - most artists with similar or even bigger followings that i've spoken to have had experiences that pretty much mirror my own, so i don't think i'm an isolated case

thanks for reading if you did, and i do want to say, i really, really appreciate you all <3 i don't get to draw much these days, but i do get to draw whatever i want, and to post it here and still get such wonderful positive reactions makes me very happy :)

[azrielgreen]

I could really use some advice if you're feeling up to it. I have been writing for a little over a year now. I hadn't written for fun since middle school probably. I genuinely have a lot of fun planning and writing and get excited about new ideas but lately more and more I've been have more moments of feeling like I'm horrible at it. I want to just do it because I enjoy it and it's a way to cope sometimes but the thoughts are still there. I can't help but look at the stats for the things I've put out there and number of hits versus kudos doesn't really help, like 95% of those don't leave kudos. I don't want to care about the stats, I want to just do it for fun but I'm feeling a bit discouraged. I almost deleted 30k/3 months of work because I just felt like everything I've done sucks. Thankfully a friend talked me down. I know I'm always going to be harder on myself than anyone else but it's still hard. Any advice so I can keep doing something I enjoy without letting it have that negative effect on me at the same time?

Thank you in advance 💜

Hello, lovely. Firstly, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Writing can be really lonely and self doubt creeps in through the cracks, so it feels natural to compare and check stats, but my god is that NOT an accurate reflection of anything resembling success/talent. Sometimes I really wish AO3 wouldn't publicly show things like hits/kudos/comments or at least give people the option to hide them if they wanted. Those numbers are tremendously distorted and will never accurately reflect what self doubt drives us to seek out.

At heart, you have the right outlook 100%. Writing for yourself is always the true path and if you follow your joy, you'll never go wrong but I think something I've noticed over the last year in fandom is how people have become quite bitter over stats and numbers, obsessive even, declaring something a "flop" if it didn't get certain numbers/likes/kudos etc... and that is just a recipe for fucking disaster. It's really hard to write something and work on it while wondering if anyone will even read it, so I do totally understand that doubt, BUT.

One thing I will say that I hope is heard by those who need it: FUCK THE STATS. They are no true indication of anything, are insanely warped over time and I do think that at this point the Steddie is oversaturated. It will always have a strong readership because it's a massively mainstream pairing in a hit show and there will be an upswing when SE5 drops (not that I'll be watching, fuck you Noah) but I think that people have to understand there is no level basis of comparison for numbers and that everything you see now is skewed by time or people using socials to market and plug their fics, driving traffic.

The attention is diminishing. All energy is cyclical, it ebbs and flows. It's been two years, people aren't reading like they were in 2022.

So, my advice to you. Don't write for other people. Don't write for popularity, numbers, relevance or praise because there is no consistent way to reliably ensure the attainment of such things in a fandom. Write for YOU and only you. You will always be your own biggest fan, so make THEM happy first and foremost and then if anyone else enjoys it, bonus. Your art is coming out through your passion, your stories are born through curiosity and creativity and they will be NEEDED by someone. Maybe not the day you post, maybe not a year after but one day, someone will find it and love it so much and it will save them.

Not to be all "back in the good old days" but I think often about a very formative and impactful fic I read which was already complete by the time I found it, it had been for years and I never got to follow & comment weekly encouragement at the time. The fic was extremely niche and controversial. It changed me as a person and I'm grateful every day the writer pushed on and completed it because I needed it so much and it was waiting for me. I think sometimes the social aspects of fandom are a real distraction from the core pull of what we are driven by as writers; creation. I think fandom was never meant to be this visible or socially accessible and comparison wrecks many people's confidence.

Those numbers are fucked, cooked or legacy. Ignore them.

In ten years, when someone is having the worst night of their life and they get on AO3, and they find your stuff that you posted, shared and created, it will be their shining light. Keep going, be brave, explore. Make a bubble for yourself with ONLY obsessively positive interiors where you create and trust that THIS THING is the greatest thing you've ever made and then move onto the next.

Writing is incredibly difficult for numerous reasons and I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who devote their time, energy and effort to it the way fic writers do. Self doubt is common, no matter how much people project success.

You're doing great. Fuck the numbers. Focus on yourself.

💜💜💜

[half-bakedboy]

4, 11, and 17 :)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Ooh, I love this one. I find inspiration a lot of different ways. Often, it's just from talking out loud to my wife. But mostly it's from something a character does that gives me a deeper look into them. I thrive on internal/external dialogue so a lot of my inspiration comes from things they've said!

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Oh gosh. This is hard. I hate all my fics a;lkjsdfkl;asd No jk, here are three.

deserving - 670 word bucktommy set at the madney wedding

everything stays unsaid - 1500 word buddie set after the bucktommy kiss

tell me what’s worse (losing you now or later?) - 30k word buddie fic i wrote for the 911 reverse bang last year with @killiarious who created an INCREDIBLE video trailer for me to work off if. This is probably the fic I am most proud of. 🥰

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

I'm the worst person to ask because honestly I just... don't write... 🤣 I will say that one thing I will do is write more like meta-y posts or little ficlets so that I'm at least keeping the characters fresh in my brain.

Send me get to know your fic writer asks!

[thecouchsofa]

2023 ao3 wrapped / fic review / whatever else I'm putting here

@oflights, the human, the myth, the legend, has made me go look at my stats and now you have to look at them too. Tagging @jtimu @elskanellis @sillywives @sleepstxtic @maesterchill @peachydreamxx @hoko-onchi-writes @starquestingfordrarry @rainstormradish @apricitydays-lazynights @annanother-thing @uncannycerulean @drarrymyheart @mallstars so they can also feel this sweet, sweet pain (if they want).

First up, some stats!

Fics posted: 7 public, 1 currently hidden, 1 awaiting submission date + 3 tumblr microfics

Fics started (and maybe finished): 18 + 3 tumblr microfics

Word count of fics posted: 414,013

Total word count written: 513,953

Sorry, but what the actual fuck do you mean I've written over 500k words since April? Put me in restraints, truly.

My favourite fic I wrote this year: The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls

My most kudos'd fic of this year: Driving me crazy (but I'm into it)

I've also read, like, a fucking horrendous amount of fics this year. More than I think I read back when I was deep in the One Direction trenches as a teen. Getting back into writing has given me a fresh appreciation for everyone's work; it's so fucking hard to write well and everyone who puts themselves out there and does that gets an online hug from me.

After Erised reveals I'll be posting a ridiculously long list of my favourite fics that were posted in 2023. It is ... exhaustive. I should probably be embarrassed by how long it is.

But without further ado, a recap of my fics from this year.

May

Driving me crazy (but I'm into it) (8k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco’s fucked a lot of people. He’s fucked models, Quidditch players, members of the Wizengamot, even a Muggle actor, but none of them come quite as prettily as Harry Potter.

September

A Walk in the Woods (48k, E) (Draco/Harry)

After ending up in the Spell Damage Ward at St Mungo’s, Harry is put on mandatory holiday leave.

The catch: he has to spend it with Malfoy at his cottage deep in the woods. Harry has no idea why Malfoy agreed to host him, considering he avoided ever being alone in a room with Harry before he left for his sabbatical a year ago.

To complicate things, Harry’s enormous longstanding crush hasn’t waned at all in Malfoy’s absence.

For: HP Cottagecore Fest

The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls (256k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Harry doesn’t know how to cope after the War. The only things that make him feel even remotely normal again are taking risks while flying and fighting with Malfoy. It’s not likely to end well.

Or,

Draco becomes obsessed with ‘Wonderwall’, reads Muggle books, and drives a campervan, while Harry slowly falls in love with Draco. A story about travelling around the British Isles in the late 90s while healing deep scars.

October

Capillaries (3.6k, M) (Draco/Harry)

Draco’s Sectumsempra scars have never fully healed. He says that it’s not Harry’s fault, that he doesn’t blame him for it. Harry hears him, but he’s not sure that he believes it.

Evergreen (23k, T) (Harry/George)

“You’d better hurry up, mate, or all the good ones will have gone.” Fred leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly thinking that he’d now exceeded his allowance of brotherly wisdom for the day.

“Who are you going with then?” Harry asked suddenly. He looked between Fred and George, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Harry asks George to the Yule Ball because it’ll be a laugh and he’s in dire need of one of those. If George can continue to keep his crush under wraps it should all go swimmingly.

For: HP Rarepair Fest IV

Celestial (paint me like one of your starscapes) (30k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco needs a partner for an art project. The only catch is, they have to be magically compatible with him for the paints to work properly. He’s fairly certain that he knows who his partner will need to be, he’s just not sure that he wants to admit it.

For: H/D Sudsfest Lite 2023

November

November Flush (5k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco Malfoy might be an absolute raging arsehole, but he gives Harry exactly what he needs.

Microfics (all Draco/Harry)

From one to another, for the prompt 'follow': tumblr link

Til resentment do us part, for the prompt 'keep': tumblr link

Satiate, for the prompt 'indulge': tumblr link

Thoughts / feeling / goals for next year

Pride, slight embarrassment, love, appreciation.

For the coming year I'm excited to get stuck into writing even more. I've got so many ideas that I'm excited to work through and a fantastic community to do that with. I will need to be bullied into not signing up for more fests in the new year, so please give me a nudge if my blogging starts to look stressed. Also never be nervous to send me a message about random shit if you're on the fence!

If you have read this far, have read even a single sentence I've written this year, or have thought my Squirtle pic looks cool, I love you, I appreciate you, and I support you.

The motto for 2024? Bedcurtains. One word, not two.

Thanks for being here! ❤️

[scuttling]

Blackout

Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairings: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Female Character Word Count: 800 Tags: 18+ NSFW, I'm new here Summary: I'm back on my bullshit.

I'm writing a story about Buck and my original female character, who comes to work as a lieutenant at the 118. It's currently at 30k, and it was just going to be for me, but this blurb made me laugh and I wanted to post it. I hope someone else enjoys my Buck as much as I do :) Buck wakes with a start. It’s the kind of waking up that is so sudden, he can’t place the reason why right away, so he sits up and just kind of stares for a moment. In darkness, and silence. Until he gets it. 

“Blackout,” he breathes, noting the absence of the hum of the ceiling fan neither of them can sleep without, the lack of light from the kitchen overhead, because if he has to pee in the middle of the night he will fall down the stairs without it. She stirs beside him, reaches out a blind hand and pats at him until she makes firm contact with his arm. 

“What?” she mumbles, half asleep, and she rubs his bicep like she’s trying to comfort him, though she doesn’t yet know why. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he assures her, sliding back down under the covers, turning toward her. “Power just went out, woke me up.” 

She hums softly, like she’s content with his response, then reaches out for him, wraps an arm around his back and a leg around his hip. She’s sleep-warm, clearly comfortable, as she nestles her head beneath his chin, and he wants to sink back into sleep with her, but the silence is deafening. And he’s getting hard in his pajama bottoms. Both are difficult to ignore.

She opens her eyes a few moments later, though the cause is unknown to him; he can feel her eyelashes flutter against his skin. Buck clears his throat, pulls her closer—he’s not one to interrupt someone’s precious sleep, not even for sex—and rubs her back, trying to ignore the ache… until she slides a hand slowly down his stomach and, eventually, over his dick. 

“Mmmm,” she murmurs, and she’s pressed so close to him he can feel the vibration of it. He reciprocates with a low noise of his own, runs his hand up and down her body beneath the oversized t-shirt she wears, and when she moves her arm to his back again and guides him down against her, he goes willingly. Oh, so willingly.

All sex is good sex with his girl, but this dark-of-night, half-asleep thing really does it for him: the slow, unhurried pace, the soft moans, the heat of her body in their bed. They kiss lazily, her hands in his hair gentle and undemanding as he curls forward and thrusts deep inside her. 

“Baby,” he sighs against her cheek as she clings to him, hooking her ankles together at the small of his back; it’s not just the sappy, sleepy sex hormones, she is everything to him, and holding her close like this is his favorite thing, will always be among the best moments of his new life. 

“Eddie,” she says, and Buck furrows his eyebrows but doesn’t stop moving. 

“Eddie?” he says, and then he thinks, well yeah, of course she’d prefer Eddie, and then she laughs so hard she snorts and he pulls back to look at her face, at the oddity of her sudden change of mood.

“The phone, Buck—Eddie’s calling. It’s late, you should take it. Christopher could be sick,” she clarifies, and after a few slow blinks he makes sense of what she’s saying and he leans over to grab his phone off the nightstand, to swipe his finger over the screen. 

“Eddie?”

“Hey,” Eddie says, and he sounds calm, not frantic like he would be if something were wrong with himself or Christopher. “What are you doing?” 

Buck looks down at her, still beneath him, still holding him inside of her, and somehow avoids the obvious joke. She rolls her eyes like she can see him debating whether or not to make it. 

“Eddie, is everything okay?” he asks instead, and Eddie hums positively on the other end of the line. Buck can hear dishes clinking in the background, like he’s cleaning up the kitchen. 

He’s so confused. 

“Yeah man, it’s just… the power went out, and Christopher already went to bed, so I was bored. Figured I’d call and see what you guys were up to.” She covers her mouth to keep silent—she must be able to hear him on her end too, and though the three of them are close, they aren’t ‘share this type of information’ close. “Is it out over there too?” 

“Yeah, yeah… hey listen, Eddie, I was just finishing something up. Can I call you back in five?” he asks, and Eddie tells him no problem and they hang up the phone. Buck lets it fall onto the bed beside them. 

She runs her hands over his outstretched arms. 

“You’re going to finish me up in five?” she asks, her voice low, sexy, and he grins and leans in for a long, hot kiss. 

He finishes her up in four.

[bonearenaofmyskull]

Hey sooo sorry that this is irrelevant to Hannibal. Its about this youtube guy you said in one of your old old posts that you enjoyed. He is a bearded ginger guy that sits in front of the wooden wall of a warehouse with shelf talking about politics? Usually wears a hat. Usually his view is around 15-30k i think and he uploads daily.

for some reason I don’t know why i kept remembering him as Shia Labeouf??? And his youtube channel name is 4 words.

thanks to you i discovered his channel but i got uninterested so I unsubscribed, but now in my wee 5.30-6 am sleepless hour i suddenly missed him and was tryna search so hard but you know how that goes looking at my description

thank yew

It's Beau of the Fifth Column, and for the record I NEVER would have associated him with Shia Labeouf. I recommend his channel and the partner channel The Roads with Beau for anyone who wants non-sensationalized, realistic reporting, with a leftist bent, of foreign affairs, domestic affairs, climate change, science news, and occasional pop culture news insofar as it overlaps with one of the other categories. They also do occasional personal advice and are a good internet mom and dad for especially queer kids who need that. And they do charity work, give survival advice and tips whenever there is an ongoing weather event that is potentially life-threatening, and weekly q-and-a.

I'm referring to them as a partnership because Beau has left his position running the channels in the last week and turned it over to his wife because he is a workaholic, and it was affecting his health, charity work, and family. Other than them dropping one of their daily videos from the agenda and his wife (going by "Belle"--"Beau" was also a pseudonym) still being in that stage of finding her voice and comfortability in front of the camera, I haven't seen too much of a change in the quality of their commentary, though the jury is still out on that IMO--she seems a bit spicier than Beau but is still working control the nerves and be natural, and I'm not sure she's quite there with the way he would lay out his reasoning and show it coming around to his conclusions, though I don't think the conclusions themselves have changed in any significant way. It'll be really tested when they cover more foreign affairs because that was where Beau really shined, and it's my understanding he is really NOT involved in the channel at all anymore in any way, at least for the time being. Coverage has been very US election-focused since Belle took over.

My strongest general recommendation would to go back and watch every single video, in order, that Beau made about Gaza in order to understand why things have gone the way they've gone and why the US has made the moves they've made, and why other countries that are nominally pro-Palestine have done some of the things that they've done as well. That includes this dumb-it-down whiteboard video from last year. Most people will find him reporting things that they don't like for one reason or other--hell, he reports things HE doesn't like about the way the foreign policy system works and will occasionally remind audiences of that as well--but it will explain where and why morality fails to gain traction when there is a question of power, and how that limits steps that are taken, how it informs public positions taken on the world stage versus what is happening behind the scenes with actions taken, etc.

Beau's organizational and labeling system for finding topics of interest is an absolute nightmare--even worse than mine--so I'd just recommend browsing in chronological order for likely topics if you're going back through historical stuff.

They're southerners and they drawl and if you're into hyperspeed internet videos you'll have to adapt your brain to want to watch their stuff. Over time you should get used to the pacing, and I eventually found it soothing. Beau is one of those rare individuals that I could regularly expect to have insights and perspectives and thoughts that I wouldn't have had, and he could change the way I view something. There aren't that many people that I run into in life that have that ability, so this was a rare gift for me.

[onathinker]

omg ur back! missed you girl. are you coping in the luna fic drought because i’m not?😩

how’s the 30k fic coming along or is it longer now? you should literally charge for your works they’re so good

hellooo i missed u all too! it is funny how we all seemed to fall off at the same time hahaha i feel like all the luna writers are doing the spiderman meme rn to see who'll be the first one to post something new 😭

30k is sitting pretty at 34k now since i decided to cut one scene (do not fear... it will see the light of day just not in this... part... 👀). i'm trying to do that thing where i write at least one sentence a day just to stay in the habit rn but it's honestly hard to find the time and energy. but here's a teeny tiny snippet to thank u guys for ur patience:

+ i did think about making one of those kofi things but seems a bit morally grey lolol deffo honored to hear that though you're very sweet <3

[andypantsx3]

if u have energy and time for it i would love to hear more of your input on the kindle publishing and quantity over quality discussion of how those authors tend to intersect fandom genres/cliches (omegaverse, alien romance, hockey romanct, etc.) with more mainstream routes (publishing on kindle universe, booktok advertising, etc.).

like, I am the demographic who do read/write fanfic AND read a lot of the 'self published romance trash' on kindle universe and while i hate that a lot of people have that feeling about it, because i have managed to find quite a few gems that i KNOW would have flopped via traditional publishing routes and are only available via self publishing on such a large marketplace, i know from experience that a lot of the stuff out there is like...bad. Unfortunately, that means i have also experienced the pitfalls of authors who have managed to publish their first book, their first passion project, that is amazing and thoughtful and truly a work of love realizing that it's a quantity over quality market and adapting their writing to suit (dragging out stories and/or putting out multiple books with subpar quality writing).

genuinely, it's a space that both baffles me and gives me a bit of hope for some odd reason. is it annoying that everyone is jumping the romance train and we are getting a dozen poorly written books for 'this months hot trope' in order to make money off of romance- for sure, but i'm also reading books with plots and romances that would never get published elsewhere because what publishing house is gonna publish a book about a woman falling in love with an ant monster alien and having weird ant monster babies?????

-> This is the post being referenced, for those who have not seen it.

Strei my beloved!!!! Yeah of course, this is such an interesting topic to me!! Especially as someone who is also the biggest consumer of romance in any of my friend circles, and as a secret fanfic author who loves trends and used to churn out like a 20-30k fic every week in the early days of the pandemic. Apologies that I'm still brain-fried from fever and my work week but here are my additional thoughts.

Firstly I wanna say that critiquing the culture that puts pressure on authors to pump out content so quickly is absolutely not to say that there aren't gems out there. That is also not to say that anything that is trope-y, trendy, or self-produced/published is garbage either (and it would be wild for a fic author to say so when we have all read like, some omegaverse fic that has changed everything we think we know about love and life LOL).

I think self-publishing as an industry is also extremely interesting and a necessary obverse to traditional publishing houses, especially when it comes to allowing authors the freedom to publish stories that the industry may devalue. Though self-publishing does factor into the equation as the easiest mechanism by which people can pump out trendy content quickly without any of the checks tradpubbing might have, it's not really at the root of the issue here.

To me, that post was specifically critiquing not trends themselves, nor self-publishers for engaging in them, but rather the pressure on (or inversely the reward for) authors to consistently sacrifice quality in terms of outputting massive quantity in service of chasing those trends.

Quality itself is hard to define as well because tastes are so subjective and what might be "low quality" to some people on here I could mention who will know I am talking about them if they read this, is "high quality" and enjoyable to me! I draw the line of quality in my subjective experience; characters and plots that are unmemorable or that failed to make me feel anything. Things I hated or will have forgotten I've read in two weeks' time. Novels that are just like every other one exploring that trope/trend, not for the elements they share but for the ways they failed to bring anything new to that trope.

I'm not sure what the solution is really. I don't think you can or should ask people not to enjoy trends (I'm not gonna stop LOL). I don't think you can ask self-pub authors not to try to make the money they probably need to live. I think it's probably a tall, impossible order to ask the culture at large to change, to grow more conscientious about what they engage with and how, especially when probably all of us are brain-fried from gazillion hour work weeks and just want something light and fun to enjoy.

But I think this is a growing complaint across a lot of mediums. Marvel is making the same movie over and over again, Disney is remaking every single one of their animated franchises in soulless cash grabs, recycled content runs rampant on TikTok and YouTube, and for every excellent book out there, there are 30 garbage copycats. It's clear to me that there is some kind of discomfort growing among us about how nothing is original or interesting anymore.

Fic-wise, I think this pressure to consume and create content so quickly also results in some of the things we regret most about fandom; plagiarizers unwilling to think of or write their own fics, fics abandoned when the hype dies down around a trend, loose characterization that defies even the most generous of interpretations lol.

But at least on the fandom side, I think there are small things we can do to combat this pressure because it costs us nothing to do so, except in some cases a little self-restraint, self-forgiveness, and patience. (At least in small pockets of the community, you're not gonna be able to change everybody.)

I liked what OP said in the last passage:

Maybe that means giving up useless number-chasing if communities can't survive past a certain scale. We could choose to focus on the slow work of developing relationships and trust, creating smaller but more sustainable groups of people who can support one another. Even now, within the hostile infrastructure of the modern internet, I think these things are still just barely possible.

I think as writers, we can be more forgiving of ourselves if writing a fic takes time, even a short one! Anything made with care usually takes time, and that includes breaks because you gotta let things marinate, plus we all have a ton of shit going on personally and culturally and we have to participate in that. We can (if we want to) read widely and try to learn more about the craft, honing our techniques and our ideas.

As community members we can prioritize making friends instead of followers. We can brainstorm with one another, help beta when we have the brainpower. We can gas each other up!! (To be clear I think this corner of tumblr is already excellent at these things, thankfully).

As readers we can choose to engage more often with ongoing fic instead of finished fic (I know the risks LOL), we can slow down and read more carefully and engage thoughtfully. We can let ourselves wait longer between updates. If we have the time and the patience we can seek out and read more niche fic authors and pairings!!

I think some of these we already do so well in this community, which is why I'm so grateful to be a part of this side of tumblr specifically lol. So some of this is just a thought exercise. And I'm sure there are more suggestions smarter people than I will have.

But I do see how capitalist pressures have invaded even this traditionally anticapitalist space and even in small measures, I wanna fight it back lol.

[whetstonefires]

Hmm 18 and 29?

18) What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Oh gracious. I honestly like my own stuff quite a lot, as a rule, or I wouldn't work on it long enough to finish anything. Fortunately it says 'one of.' Asking for a very favorite always paralyzes me aslkdjadfs. This is hard.

Is the word 'line' here meant to be 'pieces of dialogue' or 'sentences' or what, do you think?

I decided to pick something from my 'Jason Todd getting parented' era and then couldn't find the time to reread the like 30k of All the Roofs of Uncertainty that involve Bruce to pick out a line, so I'm going to nominate something from the fic where Talon!Jason and the Jokester have a heart-to-heart on a roof.

Hm. It has fewer good bits than roofs, being shorter, but they're all kind of interdependent, they don't stand alone very well. Hm.

"And remember, no matter what, you still have us." Jason wasn't sure what he gave away, but there must have been some kind of surprise, or doubt, because J pulled his hand away and frowned. "What, you thought…? You're one of us. Even if you leave. We love you, JJ. That's not gonna just stop." Jason opened his mouth to say something scathing, or dismissive, or defensive, but (maybe because he hadn't quite decided what tack to take) what came out was, "Why?" To be honest, it sounded more like 'whhyyyyyy?' Half whine, half word, a long syllable dragging itself out of his throat as he tried to take it back. Jokester stared at him for a split second, his hand moving like he wanted to reach out and grab Jason again but decided not to, twitched a little like he couldn't find any words that would fit out his mouth, and said, "Because!" Jason was pretty sure he said something like "that's a stupid reason why are you so stupid all the time," but honestly he wasn't sure because his body had gone into full scale mutiny and decided that it wanted to cry.

(It's the 'that's a stupid reason why are you so stupid' bit I'm so fond of; Jokester got a lot of the series' themes put into his dialogue here and they did a lot of emotional lifting, so including that bit that made me laugh felt like it made the whole fic work better.)

29) Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

Oh this is fun, I have so many abandoned fics.

Ah! Here! A bit I had a lot of fun writing from near the end of a fic I abandoned at 65k because both the characterization and narrative had too many structural flaws to be worth the effort of an overhaul.

“Uh, Lan Zhan? What is this?” Lan Wangji glanced away from the growing stack of rice long enough to see Wei Ying’s baffled, nervous smile, then went back to counting and stacking. “Inadequate,” he said, and kept drawing out baskets from his qiankun bag. “Uh,” said Wei Ying, which was amusing, but not enough for Lan Wangji to let himself lose focus and lose count. Wei Ying sidled over and pried up the lid of a basket; stared at the contents. Uttered a stifled oath, stepping back and taking in the growing wall of rice. Mentally, Lan Wangji calculated. One dou of rice could make a single, small meal for the whole Burial Mounds population; to feed them all well, say four dou a day. Lan Wangji had appropriated well over a thousand dou of rice from the Lan—perhaps two weeks’ food, there. Here, a thousand dou would last nearly a year if they relied on it entirely and did not stint, which seemed unlikely—but it would not keep so long, in these conditions, probably even in a qiankun pouch, so some of it would have to be sold, so it would not go to mold and waste. A year of life. That was all he could offer. Such a paltry recompense, but at least it answered a real need, rather than offering merely what he thought should be wanted. Lan Wangji could learn. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said more sharply, when he was finally done with the rice and started unloading pickles. They had collected an audience now, a dozen of the Wen grouped together in the cave mouth. This was entirely undignified, but Lan Wangji could not think of any other way it could be done. Privacy wouldn’t be appropriate either, even if it was easily obtained. “Lan Zhan, what is this?” “Rice,” said Lan Wangji. Someone laughed. Wei Ying rubbed his forehead; many hours of Wangji’s aggravation in their youth were avenged. “I can see that.” Wangji finished lining up the pickled vegetables, and handed Wei Ying the single sealed jar of ginger. Wei Ying frowned at it, a little wrinkle between his eyebrows. He was adorable. He sighed, and bent to put the pickled ginger next to the pickled cabbage. “Lan Zhan,” he said. “Really. What is this?”

Lan Wangji reached into his final pouch and pulled out the bolt of deep blue silk. He could not press it into Wei Ying’s hands; they were covered in dirt. He set it across the top of one of the stacks of rice baskets. A hush had fallen over the Wen. Wanji stepped closer to Wei Ying, and sought his eyes now that he had been evading. “Gifts,” he said, and felt that the way he said it left no question of his intent.

It was a pathetic offering—nothing compared to what would have been given if he had made a match approved by his sect and clan, what would have been brought forth to honor his bride. But it was what he had been able to bring, without that approval. A dowry he had assigned himself, as it were.

And far more valuable to Wei Ying and the people he had chosen to protect than treasures would have been.

Wei Ying’s mouth and hands worked emptily for a moment, and he made several stifled sounds, as though the silence spell had somehow been cast on him without sealing his lips shut. “You,” he managed. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, let it hiss out. Turned to their audience and pointed, jauntiness back in his motions, the slant of his eyebrows, the tilt of his head. “Okay, everybody scram.”

The Wen laughed at him, but they did go. Fourth Uncle called congratulations and someone whooped; Wei Ying rolled his eyes and shooed them off.

When he turned back to Wangji he was subdued again. His smile small and unreal. “Lan Zhan,” he said, “you can’t do this.”

“These are nothing.”

The linen and cotton, the other bolt of silk, the shirts, the little clothes for A-Yuan, he should unpack all of those as well. But he could not stop looking back at Wei Ying.

Wei Ying blew out another breath, puffing out his lips as it went this time. “Thank you for the rice,” he said, unhappily. “I—I don’t want to refuse it on behalf of everybody, and I….”

There was a struggle on his face that sent a chill through Lan Wangji. Wei Ying, trying to refuse a marriage, with a pile of a little more life lying at his feet as a bribe he could not ignore.

Could he never escape becoming his father.

“No,” Lan Wangji said sharply. “No, even if Wei Ying sends me away in disgrace, these things will stay here. It is not.” He stopped, gathered his thoughts. “I am not trying to buy you.” As though a year’s worth of rice and some decent silk could begin to add up to the value of Wei Ying.

“The disgrace is staying here!” Wei Ying said, shockingly direct. He seemed startled by it as well, as Wangji studied his face. “Lan Zhan, you don’t deserve this.”

Lan Wangji tilted his head. He could choose to agree, to say he didn’t deserve Wei Ying, never could, but wanted him anyway. He would like to see how Wei Ying responded to that—probably by recoiling, but in the way that made Wangji’s chest ache for Wei Ying rather than for himself. “You do?” He flicked his eyes the way the Wens had gone. “They do?”

“Lan Zhan. You could have anything and anyone. I can’t—tie you to a heap of corpses.” Wei Ying made a face and glanced sourly at the wall of rice again. “The rice was a good move,” he acknowledged. “I keep wanting to say something mean to make you leave, but most of them sound stupid now.”

Wei Ying should not have admitted to that tactic aloud, Lan Wangji thought to himself, but he didn’t point out the error. “Not tied to the corpses,” he said. “Tied to Wei Ying.” Oh, how he wanted to be tied to Wei Ying. Oh, how bound he was already.

Wei Ying laughed, the unpleasant sound Lan Wangji had gotten used to during the war, but without the thick layering of pride that had covered it then. “Do you really think there’s a difference?” He shook his head and spread one hand, palm up, taking in all their surroundings. “This is a place for the doomed, Lan Wangji. You don’t belong here.”

“I came here doomed, and had my life returned to me.” Lan Wangji took a step forward, pinning Wei Ying under his attention. “Wei Ying. Do not refuse me for my sake. I—”

Lan Wangji had tormented himself so selfishly over Wei Ying leaving him behind, all this time. As though following were wholly beyond his power, as though Wei Ying were the only one who could choose to alter his path—because he had been so sure his own was right, that Wei Ying must return to his side on it, or be counted lost.

His love had not been strong enough. He had not been brave enough. He had mourned their parting. A child deprived of a toy. “There will be no one else. There is nothing else for me, now.”

To give up Wei Ying, after having had him—to turn away from that whispered affection, or the consuming addiction of desire now whetted by knowledge—impossible. He wanted to say, if I was willing to make love to you within sight of your horrible blood pool in full possession of my faculties, why do you think there is anything that would turn me away now, but he did not think it would resonate with Wei Ying the way he wanted, since it admitted to the repulsiveness of the blood pool. Wei Ying had to be aware of the repulsiveness of the blood pool, but Lan Wangji could attempt to be diplomatic in his own marriage negotiations, unorthodox as they were.

Wei Ying’s face twisted, but it passed through anger into grief. “Lan Zhan,” he said, with tears in his voice though not in his eyes. “Don’t say that. Don’t tell me I’ve ruined you.”

“Not ruined.” Lan Wangji finally drew close, and for a moment it seemed Wei Ying would allow it, but then he spun and danced away sideways, in the only direction allowed by the wall of rice baskets, and was again too far away to kiss.

“I had Jiang Cheng throw me out of the Sect to avoid dragging anyone else down with me. Lan Zhan, you can’t—”

“Stupid.” Lan Wangji frowned. He supposed he should have known that was Wei Ying’s idea. Jiang Wanyin had never impressed Wangji particularly, but among the virtues he did have, courage and loyalty must surely be counted foremost, judging by what Wangji had seen in the war and particularly those three months together, searching for Wei Ying.

Left to his own devices, Sect Leader Jiang would have taken longer to disavow his head disciple, whose unorthodox cultivation he had championed on the battlefield, even if he was too politically cowed by the Jin to defend him properly, either. But Wei Ying, of course, had hastened to make himself a sacrifice.

Wei Ying snorted. “Oh, and you’re planning to bring the whole support of the Lan behind you?”

Of course, he clearly wasn’t. And if any disciple other than himself had staged such a shameless robbery, he would be a wanted criminal. But unless they expelled him, which his brother and uncle would, he felt, after the way he had parted with them, fight with all their considerable power, his affiliation with the sect would still be valuable. To all of them. “Wei Ying does not always have to be the shield. Sometimes, he should be protected also.”

“Lan Zhan.” As easily as that, Wei Ying was looking at him shattered. The vulnerability on his face hurt to witness even as Lan Wangji reveled in it. He was learning Wei Ying, how to love him for his sake, rather than for Lan Wangji’s own.

“Do you not want me?” he asked, bracing himself for an affirmative. Wei Ying might say it and lie; Wei Ying might say it and, despite everything before, actually mean it. He had had time to think, while Lan Wangji was gone.

“I don’t want your pity.” The word curdled on Wei Ying’s tongue and in the air, and his face wore an ugly look again. “We will live as we may. We have survived this long without you, Hanguang-jun, and we will live after you grow sick of the foul air and poisoned earth and leave again. This place is beyond the reach of the cultivation world, why bring it here with you?”

“Even though you do not need me,” Lan Wangji said carefully, letting the sharp edge of those words break over him like a wave because Wei Ying had admitted outright he said these things to drive people away; because declaring everyone here doomed even the little child, and then saying they would live despite him, was too much contradiction to bother with. “Do you want me?”

“If I say no will you go?”

The refusal to say it at once was an answer in itself. “If I believe you.”

Wei Ying snorted, less disgust than acknowledging Lan Wangji’s point scored. He smiled unhappily. “Lan Zhan, I’ve made my choices. I would make them again, even knowing where they’ve led me. That doesn’t mean I want to bring you down with me. You don’t owe me anything. You do realize you don’t owe me?”

Lan Wangji hesitated. It was a difficult question. He did not, precisely, feel indebted to Wei Wuxian, not the way Wei Ying meant or the way his brother had, though he was acutely aware of the gift of his life and the cost Wei Ying had borne to give it. But he did feel obligation toward him, a duty, which was a kind of owing as well. “Wei Ying deserves better,” he said. “And I owe you—courtesy, at least.”

“Courtesy,” Wei Ying echoed, abstract, scornful. His eyes flicked down, past Lan Wangji’s eyes to his mouth.

“You never answered my question,” Lan Wangji said.

“Which one? Oh. Lan Zhan. Who would ever not want you?” Wei Ying shook his head, but there was a smile there now, one that caught in the corners as though pain and fondness were the selfsame emotion.

Once again, he spoke of it like he spoke of natural law.

Lan Wangji ached. “Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying sighed, and glanced at the wall of rice, the silk. Lan Wangji’s perhaps pathetic offering of something, anything more valuable than merely himself. A little life. “I really don’t understand,” he said. “When you left, I thought—”

“You didn’t expect me to return.”

“No. I thought you’d listened.” Wei Ying shook his head. “I don’t want to—I know what they say about me, but I never wanted to…” He took a breath, and tried again. “You’re so brilliant, Hanguang-jun, so good, they named you well, and I would never want to be the reason that light was stolen from the world.”

“Already done.”

Wei Ying winced, and looked at him with his eyebrows knit, annoyed.

Lan Wangji said, “You took the light from my world when you went into the dark.”

[lunarheslwt]

Hi! I wanted to put together all the fics I've read and loved over November for this month's 28th appreciation, so here they are! Click on the links for full tags and summaries. If you read any of these make sure to show the authors some love by leaving kudos and comments!

🔸I know you rider (gonna miss me when I'm gone) by @cyantific

(9.4k | T | single-rider line au)

The one where Louis hates hippies and roller coasters and Harry tries to fix that with lots of fun facts, terrible puns and perhaps one very life-changing moment in a dark tunnel.

"Nostalgia inducing, simply delightful, summer 90's vibes"

🔸Adélfes psychés by pleasinglouis

(19k | E | Greek mythology au)

Harry has been hopelessly in love with a certain woodland nymph for as long as he can remember and no amount of wooing seems to be working

(summary cut so the post isn't too long!)

"poetic, a little ethereal, incredibly sweet."

🔸Everyone's entitled to one good scare by @levelofcharm

(10k | E | Halloween themed CNC vampire au)

“We can play hide and seek. Go on, try to hide bunny,” he coos as he taps the cool knife to Louis’ heated cheek teasingly, his voice switching with ease to something stern and serious, “but hope I don’t find you.”

Louis has suspected his husband isn't what he says and is determined to be right this Halloween

(read tags please!)

"thrilling, dizzyingly hot, perfect Halloween gift"

🔸Where sirens fear to tread by @aliensingucci

(28k | M | siren forbidden love au)

in the royal line, there are only a select few sirens with the ability to transform into humans once a month. harry is one of those sirens. he mostly sticks to the rules. when he's on land, he reads his books. he buys copious amounts of ice cream. he keeps to himself. that is until he meets a lifeguard named louis working at one of the luxury resorts on St Barts. and unfortunately, harry doesn't know the rules about falling in love at all.

"endearing, gripping, characters you root for"

🔸Compete against the stars by @daggerandrose

(30k | M | arranged marriage a/b/o)

“We should probably keep our distance,” Harry says, now backing up until he’s leaning against the wall opposite of Louis. It already feels too far away. “I don’t know if I can handle not being able to touch you in some small way.”

Louis nods and looks down. “The solstice will be here soon,” he murmurs.

“And with it, our mates,” Harry finishes, his voice cracking at the last word.

An ABO au where Louis finds out he's claimed to another Alpha. Angst ensues.

("ridiculously soft, smidge of tension, fuzzy vibes")

🔸When love is enough by @larrysballetslippers

(5k | E | poly relationship)

“Please, daddy,” Harry begged, he wanted Louis so much. Louis shuffled to his side and kissed his lips. Harry felt like he was in heaven, Louis’ kisses were always soul-healing but also so devilish.

Louis pulled back, eliciting a whine from Harry, and stroked his cheeks “I’m going to make you cry today, edge you so hard you don’t know how-”

Louis stopped talking when they heard the bell ring in the distance. Louis’ eyes grew large when it rang for the second time. “Harry, who are you expecting?”

Or, Harry gets an unpleasant surprise visit in the middle of a scene.

"part of a must read series, heart warming, sweet"

🔸You go undercover (you cross your fingers) by @forthetherapyy

(25k | E | kid fic)

When they reach the top of the steps, Harry puts the buggy down gently.

“Thank you,” Louis says. “My hero.”

Harry laughs.

“You don’t need rescuing,” he says.

or

louis didn’t think that motherhood would be easy, but he certainly wasn’t prepared for just how challenging it would be. he also wasn't prepared for a certain alpha called harry appearing each time he needs help until accepting is no longer a difficult thing to do.

"incredibly sweet, warm, and a comfort read"

🔸Every witch way by @falsegoodnight

(36k | E | a witchy au)

The last thing Harry wants to be doing this summer is running his aunt's occult shop while she's away, but that's where he finds himself, bitter and bored. That is, until a boy and his cat stumble into Harry's life and turn it upside down.

"incredibly gripping, stunning world building, flawless"

🔸A Springtime's Wilt, an Autumn's Bloom by snowcaplou

(20k | E | chauffeur au)

Harry is Louis' personal chauffeur, and although he hides his feelings for his boss behind a wall of rigid professionalism, Louis still manages to squeeze through the cracks.

"perfect for a quick read, sweet, wonderful characters"

🔸Dip you in honey by @eeveelou

(28k | E | omega x omega royalty au)

Princess Harry, the pearl of England, is set to be married to the youngest prince of France in just six months. Anxious about his performance on his wedding night, he enlists the help of his loyal handmaiden Louis to help him practice everything he needs to know

"delicate, pure, and delightfully scandalous all at once"

🔸what a wicked thing to do (to make me dream of you) by @maroonmoonlouis

(44k | E | enemies to lovers dark academia heirs au)

Heirs Louis and Harry have been promised as mates to each other their whole lives. It's expected that they will be the perfect pair to bring honor to their families. Louis cannot let that happen.

"captivating, electrifying, and perfect"

🔸Even on my worst days by @homosociallyyours

(21k | E | sick fic, chronic illness)

When they meet at a party, Louis is instantly drawn to Harry like a moth to a flame. They hit it off, and Louis is eager to get to know Harry better-- maybe even take him out on a date --but Harry is hesitant. Cautious.

Since developing chronic fatigue a few years earlier, a lot of things have changed for Harry, his once active lifestyle reduced to the occasional outing like the one he met Louis at, visits to the doctor, and doing his best to take care of himself on hard days. He can't imagine that anyone-- especially not someone like Louis --would ever really want to be with him.

It takes time to convince him otherwise, but Louis can see he's worth it. He just has to get Harry to see it too.

"beautiful, touching, characters you will adore"

🔸Wanna play you like a game, boy (what's the thrill of the same toy?) by @thebreadvansstuff

(10k | E | humiliation kink)

Louis is Harry's boss, and Harry has a humiliation kink. (for full summary click fic link 😩)

"stupidly hot, hot and hot."

🔸You Can Lay Your Hands On Me by @momrryrights

(37k | E | bdsm au)

a non-famous, established relationship BDSM AU where Harry would really like his very sweet and caring boyfriend to dom him. Said boyfriend is more than happy to do so.

"delightfully detailed, super hot, incredible"

🔸wanna wake up with you and say baby let's do it all over again by @alwaysxlarrie

(16k | M | service kink fic)

“Harry, it’s okay. This is a safe space.”

“No, it’s not. You throw cheese puffs at me any time I walk around naked.”

“Okay.” Niall tilted his head in acknowledgement, then corrected himself. “It’s a safe space for things I deem acceptable.”

“Of course.” Harry rolled his eyes. “So, what’s the thing?”

“Your service,” Niall flailed his hands in the air for a few seconds, “thing.”

“My service,” Harry paused to mimic Niall’s hand movements, “thing?”

“Yes.”

"the dream duo dynamic, equally hot and cute, a gem"

Thank you wonderful writers who keep giving us the most amazing works<3