#but it's not /more/ valid than a 'whats in the text' approach. even if it is more popular in fandom spaces

[kiddiewrites]

Command Me To Be Well pt.2

I'm so sorry I took this long to post, I had to make modifications and still this part is not proof read :'D So if there's

This is part 2 to the “Command Me To Be Well” fic, i wanted a happy ending but it was going to go two ways with this one, either I rushed the ending or I stretched the angst a bit for maximum relief and fluff in the end, I want to do a “sunshine after a storm” kind of fic

The text in italics are memories, mostly from the boy's pov but there are (y/n)’s too :D

Angst, T.F.141 x reader, Platonic!T.F.141 x reader, HURT, bit of OOC T.F. 141, pining!reader, extension of the angst, Injured TF141, MAJOR injuries, late night confessions, Poly!141, fluff, bit of relief.

PART 1

∞ Happier Than Ever ∞

“I don’t relate to you, ‘cause I’d never treat me this shitty”

As it turns out, transfers among the task force without a valid reason were not easy to pull off, Laswell very much told you so when you tried to apply for a unit on the other side of the country.

So the next few days were full of awkwardness between you and the rest of the unit, not for lack of trying from the boys, except for Ghost, barely managing two words to you before you turned away from them, under the excuse of files that needed reviewing or soldiers that needed patching up.

Speaking of which, the other soldiers noticed a shift in your dynamic and even under no fault of their own taking the brunt of it, mainly in the shape of a monstruos training program led by a very much pissed off Lt. “Ghost” Riley. It was almost a common occurrence from the last few days that soldiers arrived exhausted at the med bay with dizzy spells or injured ankles or even passed out from exhaustion. Desperate for some sort of relief in their “punishment” some of them tried to convince you to go to the training grounds and have a talk with him so that maybe he could tone it down out of concern for their fiscal health. You refused. Not because you didn’t think they deserved it or something like that, but because of the glares he had been sending to you since that day. 

The Death Stare, is what the soldiers called it. Even the mention of your name would get the poor soldiers under a heavy gaze full of hate, needles to say when you tried to speak to him regarding injuries or his medical history he would just turn away not before looking at you like he wanted to murder you.

Johnny tried his hardest not to look at the spot in the dining hall where you used to sit on your breaks, a task that he couldn’t really manage to accomplish due to the weight of guilt that hung heavy on his shoulders since that day, the words you spoke replaying in his head like a nightmare.

- I know I’m pathetic to you, I know that you think I’m… how you put it, Sergeant MacTavish?- At the mention of his name he looked up at you - “so fucking annoying”, I think was the term used.- 

He tried to apologize over and over again but you always shut him down, not giving an inch. Out of pride or hatred he couldn't tell but … your eyes… your sad (e/c) eyes adorned with heavy dark circles under them, made the regret multiply.

-Don’t sweat it, Sergeant, let’s just don’t let it affect our work- you’d say with a tight lip smile and a tired sigh. 

But that was just it, it may not affect you but it sure affected him… more than he cared to admit, he never thought that he’d miss your shining eyes and blushing cheeks, that he’d miss your shy giggles and the way you’d follow him around base with a box of cookies or a bag of gummy bears that you’d share. Oh, how he regretted every word that came out of his mouth that night but by all the Gods above, he would fix it. He was a stubborn one after all. 

Kyle was a bit harder to read, for such a calm and collected man he was feeling like shit. But he couldn’t bring himself to talk to you, not like Johnny or the captain tried to. He tried a more “actions over words” type of approach, trying to make sure you’d still take care of yourself and if you noticed it you didn’t say anything. In all honesty, he was about to give up, until one night where he stayed up late. It had been a rather slow day and he tried to catch up on his reading before they were inevitably deployed. He sat in a corner of the hardly used couch in the break room and there he stayed for a few hours until it was dark out, the clock reading almost 2am when he averted his gaze off of the pages. Setting the book aside, he stood up and stretched, a few joints popping while doing so. Recovering his book, he left the break room and headed for his dormitory. On the way back his mind drifted back to you and the way you always seemed to have the utmost care when patching him up, the way your brows would frown in concentration and your lips seemed to purse a bit. He remembered the time they came back from a mission, Kyle sporting a huge gash to his side and almost passing out when they landed. He remembers your voice, reassuring him he would be okay and giving instructions to the nurses who worked with you. He passed out but when he woke up there you were, still checking in on him.

The sun shone in his face, stinging his eyes when he tried to open them, the beeping of the heart monitor ringing in his ears and the distinctive smell of the med bay seeping into his nose. He groaned trying to get up, only to be stopped by your gentle hand guiding him back down. 

-Easy there, Sarge. You took a nasty cut to your side and lost a lot of blood, you’re lucky it didn’t go any deeper otherwise I don’t know if you’d been able to make it.- His eyes opened completely  and focused on your form standing next to his bed, with a gentle smile and tired eyes, no doubt from staying up all night saving him. With the sun giving you a different glow, he thought you looked almost angelical.

-It was a bit of a challenge to get the boys off of your side, I think Ghost threatened me when we took you to surgery.- you said with a small smile and a knowing look. 

-Something about framing me with murder of a ranking officer if I didn’t save you- you took a step back to check on his vitals in the monitor.

-I…-  He croaked, the lack of lubrication in his throat making it difficult to speak- I thou’ I was a goner fo’ sure- The reality sinking in once he was completely awake, the thought of not seeing the boys again forming a few tears in his eyes, you didn’t comment on them and he was grateful.

-Don’t worry, Kyle.- You said as you approached him and placed your hand in his arm, his name falling from your lips with such care that he felt a blush creeping up to his cheeks and looked away from you. 

-I won’t let you die on me, not when you need to go home- 

It was the way you said it, so gentle and reassuring. Letting a few tears escape, he felt your hand retreating and heard you moving around the room. It wasn’t until he heard the door open and your voice calling for the captain that he let the tears slowly and silently flow. 

-Captain, you can come in now, he’s awake.- Next thing he knew rough hands were cupping his face and turning his head, he saw the captain… no… not the captain, this was John he was seeing. Worried features and red puffy eyes. THAT  was John.

-You ok there, sarge?- his voice dripping with relief and fondness. Kyle stayed silent but gave a gentle nod. He soon heard other footsteps and turning to the door he saw Johnny and Simon, they approached with care. Johnny with a wide smile at seeing him alive and Simon with relief in his eyes, the baclava obscuring his face but they knew. Oh they knew their Lieutenant. 

- I’ll give you a moment, if you need me I’ll be right outside- your voice was soft but caring. Neither of them turned your way, except for the captain who turned back to you.

-Thanks Doc- he said with a tiny smile, at this yours grew a bit wider.

-Of course, cap- and with that you exited  the room, leaving the boys together to process what happened.

The memory brought a small smile to his face and he subconsciously reached for his side, where the now scar was. As he approached the barracks he walked by the med bay, where he saw that the light was on. He peeked through the small window and found you asleep over a few files, with a small smile and realizing a tiny sigh he walked in. Thanks to his years of service and the ability to walk almost imperceptibly helped him at the moment, very carefully he picked the throw blanket you had in one of the chairs before your desk and placed it on your shoulders. He heard you release a small sigh of relief and at that he let out a small chuckle. 

-Hav’ ye always been this hard’eaded?- he said in a low tone, trying his hardest not to wake you.

-We’re really sorry ya’ know?- He said it in a whisper, he didn’t really expect you to answer him, the way your chest was rising and falling made it clear that you were not conscious. 

He went for the exit and shot you a last glance before he left just as quietly as he entered. 

-I know- just a whisper… but he heard it, a small smile making its way to his lips.

-Goodnight, Doc- and so he left with a slightly better heart and in a better mood. 

“You made me hate this city”

Things seemed to be looking a bit better, at least you weren't entirely avoiding them now. 

And so, Soap saw his opportunity one morning and decided to talk things out with you.

There he stood with a little bag of pastries and a cup holder with two coffees, he had a whole speech prepared for this moment. But the moment he stood in front of your office door, he just couldn’t move. 

You could hear the shifting of his feet on the outside of your door, it had been a few days since he last tried to speak with you so you decided to take the next step, literally. 

You stood up from your desk and headed for the door, you opened it just as he was about to knock.

It is a funny sight, to see a man of his stature and build look like he was caught red handed, which he was. 

-Hiya there, sarge- And oh how he missed it the way your little smirk would accompany the way your head tilted a bit to your side as you looked up at him, it made him feel things, needy things. 

-Hiya the’e, doc- he said in a low voice and a small smile, he looked at you as if it was the first time he ever did, your hair pushed back with a headband letting him see your pretty (e/c) eyes. 

-May I com’ in, doc? I brou’ coffee and thos’ pastrees ye lik’ so much- It was the most gentle you ever heard him talk and it was heartwarming and really how couldn’t you say no to chocolate spread pastries and warm coffee.

-Come in, then.- You stepped to the side and he let himself in. 

You watched him for a bit before closing the door and making your way to the desk. 

You took a seat on your chair and signaled him to sit down, you cleared the few files that were littered across the desk so he could set the coffees and the pastries down. After everything was settled he reached over the desk to pass you your coffee, which you took from his hand accidentally brushing your fingers with his, you felt a little blush come up to your face. He sat back with a little smirk at your blushing face and sipped on his cup. You stayed there relishing in the silence and just looked at him, only to find him already looking at you. His beautiful blue eyes just staring back at yours, a little fondness to them but also with something else. Something that you really couldn’t figure out yet but had your stomach do a little flip. You stayed there for a few minutes just looking at each other, you couldn't help to release a little chuckle at the softness of it all. As if he’d never almost pinned you to your desk in a fight that day. 

-Some’in on yer min’, doc?- he said with a teasing tone, one that had you looking down at your desk to try and avoid his piercing eyes. 

As you looked up once again, you asked the question floating in your mind ever since he came in.

-Why are you here, John?- You’d never called him that, but it felt kinda nice saying his actual name. It felt good. 

-Shit, doc. I ain’ been call’d like tha’ since my ma was royaley pissd off at me.- The biggest grin plastered on his face as he said it, quickly changing to a light smile as he saw your gentle serious one. 

-I came t’ apologize, doc.- He looked down at his lap, not really wanting to meet your eye.

- I actet like a fecknig fool, I knew from the baggining you tried to geta long, but I jus…, I guess I realey couldn’ and wouldn’ want ta let ya in cos…- he went quiet, there was something else he wanted to say but saying out loud was a bit more difficult than he care to admit. 

-Johnny, it’s ok- His eyes shot up at you and he could see the smile on your face, a genuine forgiving smile. One that he would hold on to, even when he went onto the darkest of places. 

-I must admit I may have come on a bit too strongly and first, I know it could sometimes be a problem.- The sincerity in your voice was not lost to Johnny, almost as if this wasn’t the first time you had this conversation.

-And uhm, it’s not that I was mad at you for being annoyed with me.- At this Johnny frowned in confusion.

-Then… wa’ was it?- He was genuinely at a loss, he couldn’t really figure out what it was. 

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit, watching him furrow his brows and tilt his head to the side was cute, like a puppy. 

So you took a deep breath and said it… What was bothering you…

-It’s ‘cause you didn’t tell me from the beginning- His eyes were focused on you, your giggle sounded really cute but the reason behind it wasn’t something he expected.

-You’re not the first nor the last to say those things about me- His eyes widened and he felt the guilt starting to form in his chest

.-I…I’m sorry, doc…- He felt the shame rising in his chest along with something else, a tiny rage, a sense of protection coming over his entire self.

-You don’t have to worry about it, Sarge- Your smile was disarming, the genuine forgiveness coming in waves taking a hold in his heart. 

Blushing he smiled back and oh god, what a beautiful smile. All boyish and charming he looked so pretty… so you blushed.

-So, Sarge… wanna take the first bite?- The sly smirk and your low voice sent a tingle of excitement down his spine. 

-Ahh…I.. Eh yea’ yea’- his brain short circuited but it felt amazing, he reached for the chocolatey pastry and smiled.

You’ll be the end of him

“And I don’t talk shit about you…”

Something Price always found amusing was the way Simon would find “refuge” in his office when he didn’t want to deal with… anything really.

He would sit down in a chair, fold his arms and sulk, just staring at the wall and huffing.

First time he did it, Price tried to talk to him and all he got was grunts and hums. By the fifth time he sulked in his office, he just let him stay there for the afternoon and only addressed him after he finished his paperwork. Leaning back in his chair he stretched out and felt the satisfying pop of his back and arms.

He turned to look at Simon, who already seemed to be looking at him, a gleam of hunger in his eyes.

-Interested in a drink, Lieutenant?- He asked with a slight smirk and a tilt of his head, a soft satisfied growl was heard from the giant man as he stood up and made his way to the captain’s desk.

-I take any’hing ye give me… sir.- his seductive voice was muffled a bit by the baclava adorning his face but the tone was enough for Price to feel the effects of it in the most intimate part of his soul.

-Careful, Lt.- His eyes scanned the form of his second in command and found himself a bit hot under his uniform. The way that only a few words were affecting him made it so hard to resist, Simon knew exactly what to do and say to push his captain’s buttons and make him feel just the way he wanted to.

-Ye know we can’t be doin thi’ ‘ere- his voice was gruff and low and oh so inviting, his words were one thing but his body… it said something else entirely. 

-I den’ see ya resistin’- Simon caressed John’s face in a gentle manner, it was so gentle and so warm that he couldn’t help but lean into his hand. 

-Lieutenant, please.- His eyes closed and felt Simon settling into his lap, instinctively he wrapped his arms as much as he could over his wide hips helping his second in command to adjust to the size, when he opened his eyes he swears he felt something stir in his stomach, it was as if he saw them for the first time. The deep blue connecting with his in a very gentle and beautiful manner.

The intimate moment was held for a few minutes, relishing  in the silence where they stayed for a few more minutes trying to forget everything that had occurred for the last week. 

“Never told anyone, anything bad…”

The rising and falling of the captain’s chest was steady, however breathing was a bit difficult given the tattooed arm that rested across it, he turned his head to watch at the giant man that stayed with him all through the night. The silence was broken by the sound of the telephone ringing had the captain stood up from the bed to answer it, being a difficult task due to the insanely quick reflexes of the lieutenant, as carefully as he could he removed Simon’s arm and stood up to receive the call.

In the quiet of the morning Simon stirred in his sleep, he stretched his arm trying to find the warmth of the captain instead finding cold sheets he bolted right up, as he stood up, the captain came out of the bathroom with a towel draped around his hips.  He sat down in the bed, and caressed Simon's  hair while he informed him of their next assignment, one that would require you on the field since it would be a rather long deployment, “almost a month long assignment” he was told. So they couldn’t afford to bleed out while waiting for their extraction.

The growl that came from Simon’s throat was a dangerous one, he still hadn’t completely forgiven you for shoving Johnny, the rage stirring in his stomach at the thought of that day. 

-Ye’ know tha’ ye hav’ to get along with ‘er, ‘ight?- John tried everything he could for the past week to get you too to maybe bond a bit, but it was a tough task. He had been rude and you hadn’t backed down either, for every rude comment he made you responded with an equally cold and spiteful one. 

He didn’t like the idea of you joining in but… orders are orders. 

- Yes captain- 

And so one cloudy cold day with a medical bag strapped to your back you boarded the plane with your squad ready to be deployed. Not knowing what came ahead.

Tagging (If you'd like to be added to the taglist please comment here :D) : @blackhawkfanatic - @beebeechaos - @d3vils-adv0c8 @azkza - @asherwesley - @praying-for-the-sun @xbubbleduckx - @blepleaxelotle

[yazthebookish]

Why an Elucien rejected bond storyline would be boring

Years ago Sarah briefly discussed Elain and Lucien's mating bond, she changed her plans from having Nesta as Lucien's mate to Elain since she saw there is a great deal of tension, growth and healing to be found for both of them (together).

In my opinion, we are currently seeing them go through the tension stage where there is this distance and strain on both of them due to recent events. Lucien was sexually assaulted by Ianthe and he is settled in the human lands to support Vassa and Jurian. While Elain has to mourn her human life and also the rejection of Graysen (who used the bond against her) + she also grieved her father. It's pretty reasonable for her to feel that resentment and hostility towards the existence of her mating bond with Lucien.

Part 1: As of ACOSF, does Lucien want Elain or did he move on to Vassa?

He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings. Cassian's heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien's face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

I won't make this part long because it's right there in the text. His longing. He still longs for Elain. He still tries. If he is so occupied and in love with Vassa, what is he doing spending Winter Solstice at Velaris to give his mate a gift instead of the woman he apparently "loves".

"But he lives with Vassa!"

The concept of friends sharing a house does not necessarily mean they're all hooking up, unless Lucien's comment on Vassa and Jurian liking to be at each other's throats is to be taken literal (and he's the third wheel in that scenario). I firmly believe Vassa and Jurian would end up together.

It's clear Lucien has eyes for one female only and that's his mate.

Part 2: Lucien doesn't want the bond and he can't stand it

And that's when arguments are formed based on out of context quotes, because context always matters to get the full picture.

But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda. Jesminda had been all laughter and mischief, too wild and free to be contained by the country life that she’d been born into. She had teased him, taunted him—seduced him so thoroughly that he hadn’t wanted anything but her. She’d seen him not as a High Lord’s seventh son, but as a male. Had loved him without question, without hesitation. She had chosen him. Elain had been … thrown at him.

Is it not valid for him to feel conflicted about this entire situation because he is still processing the fact that the female who he fell in love with, who had chosen him, saw him, and accepted all of him, who was beheaded because she loved him, is not his mate? but this stranger is? He is trying to make sense of it. He doesn't know Elain yet.

Looking at her now … She was pale, yes. The vacancy still glazing her features. But he couldn’t breathe as she faced him fully. She was the most beautiful female he’d ever seen. Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He’d said the same to Jesminda once. But even as shame washed through him, the words, the sense chanted, Mine. You are mine, and I am yours. Mate.

His feelings and thoughts and instincts are all clashing at once. That is much evident in this entire scene.

"I can't stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes. I can't stand to be in this court and have your mate pay for the very clothes on my back."

This is often taken out of context to point out that Lucien doesn't want the mating bond or he can't stand to be around Elain. As a mated male, it's overwhelming for him to be around her because his instincts clash and he has to keep himself grounded around her. He doesn't know yet how to approach her or what she expects of him. It's extremely awkward and he can't stand it because he still didn't find a common ground with her.

Using this quote to imply he doesn't like her or stand her is absolutely false within the narrative.

I think so. It wasn't just about what he thought—it was the ... feeling. I sensed no ill will, no conniving. Only concern for her. And ... sorrow. Longing.

Part 3: Lucien is responsible for her trauma

Hard disagree on this one.

Even canon points out that the one who told the King of Hybern about Feyre's sisters was none other than Ianthe. This is not to defend Tamlin because he gave her an opening to do whatever she liked and did not hold her accountable in ACOWAR.

Now about Lucien, what power did he have over Tamlin's decisions when we have seen that despite being his friend, there is a power imbalance and Tamlin does lash out at Lucien. Lucien is not a character without flaws, but neither Feyre nor Nesta ever blamed Lucien. Even when Elain says to his face that he betrayed them, Lucien immediately says it was a mistake. He doesn't try to absolve his role in it or explain his actions to her, he calls it as it is.

I disagree with the statement that he is responsible for her trauma, Lucien was nothing but a spectator.

"But, but, he yelled at her and announced that they were mates!"

Cassian again stirred—trying to rise, to answer Nesta’s voice as she held my sister and cried her name again and again. But Elain was staring over Nesta’s shoulder. At Lucien—whose face she had finally taken in. Dark brown eyes met one eye of russet and one of metal. Nesta was still weeping, still raging, still inspecting Elain— Lucien’s hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, “You’re my mate.”

Right. He yelled at her.

Great reading comprehension.

And it's like we forgot when Rhys said the moment the bond snapped between him and Feyre, if he stayed a second longer he would've damned the consequences and took her with him. As soon as he winnowed back to Velaris the first word he said to Mor after 50 years was "she's my mate".

"Well he shouldn't have said it anyways"

Yeah because it's not like Lucien is a Fae male and the mating bond is something that alters the Fae on a biological level. It overrides their instincts.

Part 4: Elain choosing the mating bond + Lucien will be a disservice to her arc, it won't be a choice unless she chooses Azriel

“but it definitely offers a wealth of things to explore with this concept of freewill and what is true love. Is it something that’s destined? Or is it something that you make? Is it both?”

I like that Sarah briefly discussed the topic of a character's agency when it comes to mating bonds because it's something that has long been discussed in the fandom.

However, I disagree that if Elain chose Lucien it's not truly a "choice" because of the mating bond. We have seen with both Feyre and Nesta that they didn't choose to be with Rhys and Cassian simply because of the bond, the mating bond was just the cherry on top—they loved their mates for who they were.

"Elain's entire journey will be about choice"

Isn't she already making a choice? Isnt she choosing not to pursue the bond? Isnt she choosing to ignore the bond? Isn't she choosing to not reject it? Isn't she choosing how she is living her life in Velaris? Isn't she choosing how she spends her time? Isnt she choosing to garden and help other gardens in Velaris? And I can go on.

Neither Elain or Lucien had a choice in being mated to each other, but the notion that the mating bond left her with no agency over her life is partially incorrect because she is making choices. Yes, the mating does in a way take some of Elain's agency and Lucien's agency since it's something that alters them on a soul-level, but Lucien's agency is often removed from this conversation.

Currently, the ball is in Elain's court and not Lucien's. She currently has the choice of accepting or rejecting the bond.

And in my opinion, "choice" is a theme that is incorporated in the journeys of all the characters, it's not exclusive to Elain. I don't think "choice" is the core of her story because I think Elain's journey should focus on breaking out of the docile and gentle sister mold (not that she stops being gentle, but stopping others from infantilizing her), finding where she truly belongs, realizing who her true found family are, discovering the world (a trip to the continent let's go!).

Part 5: Azriel (warning: controversial)

This will be a bit of a hot topic but I'll do my best to keep it short (it really isn't).

This kind of follows Part 4, but I will tell you why Azriel isn't a "great" choice for Elain.

Yes, they had a sweet companionship and a friendship and that is usually a good foundation for a relationship, but to me there wasn't anything solid or deeper then that. We have to *assume* they had moments off-page, but we also know that they're not spending time together and Azriel confirmed this. So am I going to wait for chapters of flashbacks after flashbacks to see that build up from the past?

Before anyone jumps the gun, I am a hardcore Gwynriel and a hardcore Azriel fan and I fully understand and accept that Azriel is a flawed character who carries so much self-loath. I dont like him with Elain because I believe it's an unhealthy dynamic compared to how lighter and more open he is around Gwyn and this is not something against Elain, it's more tied to how Azriel perceives the logic of 3 sisters + 3 brothers. Dynamics matter and makes a difference between couples because e.g., Chaol and Yrene worked better than Chaol and Celaena. Mismatched pairings exist but it doesn't mean the characters involved wouldn't work out with others.

So how is the male that centered himself in his entire conversation with Rhys instead of prioritizing what Elain wants, is the ultimate choice?

He argued that the Cauldron was wrong because he didn't get the "third" sister while his brothers got her other sisters, and at this point we know Elain is not interested in a mating bond. If she is attracted to Azriel, it has nothing to do with wanting a bond with him because we know how she feels about it but it's Azriel who wants to center the mating bond in it.

So does that mean the relationship from Azriel's perspective wouldn't be complete without a mating bond? Then why is he arguing about this? Wouldn't it be more romantic for him to say I don't care if she is mated or not, I want her for her—but that's not the case here.

Notice that it's Azriel having these discussions about mating bonds and not Lucien who is her mate. and I promise you if it was Lucine having this exact discussion with Rhys, the entire fandom would drag him to no end.

Back to Azriel, so he also says that he hadn't gotten that far with his planning certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to + and said Lucien is not good enough for her and she has not interest in him anyways. Again, he is speaking for Elain when we know one of the big problems surrounding Elain is how others speak for her and assume what she needs. If she doesn't want the mating bond, that's her speech and not Azriel's. I still don't get how people were fine with him speaking for her and I'm not even the biggest Elain fan.

Last but not least, he also was against her scrying despite publicly declaring that no one decides what she can or cannot do and wants to help. Is this truly the "ultimate choice" for Elain? But Lucien's only crime is being mated to her?

Part 6: finally, why Elain and Lucien rejecting the mating bond would be bad storytelling.

So we know that a bond can be rejected, only weakened but it will always exist.

"Elain would have our full protection if she rejects the bond. But it will still be a bond, however weakened, that will trail her for the rest of her existence."

"But he'd know if Nesta were dead. In his heart, his soul, he'd sense it. Would feel it. A mate always did. Even if she'd rejected that bond."

1. There isn't enough time to explore a rejection:

It seems there isn't a ritual or a tradition we are told of about a mating bond rejection, if the female doesn't want it then that's that but it does have a worse impact on males.

As of ACOSF, it's evident Lucien still longs for Elain even if they are distant or occasionally see each other. We know Elain resents the bond but we still don't have her POV to really know what she thinks of Lucien.

What do we get out of a rejected bond with Elain and Lucien? That she just doesn't want him and can say "no"? That she finally has a choice? Even though she is making choices as of the current canon to not explore the mating bond or do anything? I gave examples in Part 4.

And then what? Lucien moved on to Vassa or another female in the next book? That despite a rejection being devastating he's all cool and moved on within months.

No stakes. No challenges. No reprecussions. No consequences. Nothing interesting.

"But it's proof that not every mated pairing works" that would be interesting if we had enough time to discover that but not with two characters that barely spoke to each other and readers have no clue to what kind of dynamic they have.

A rejected mating bond would not be a good story to tell because there wasn't much there to begin with. It's underwhelming.

"I don't want it" "okay cool see you around" < and that's it? Groundbreaking.

"It's a big factor to play into a forbidden romance because Rhys is the obstacle here" easily resolved with one word from Elain and Rhys is removed.

I think Elain and Lucien's mating bond would still be interesting to read about because we never had a mated pairing that knew they were mates but weren't in love yet.

It's giving an arranged marriage trope and the best part about arranged marriage is when the spouses get to know to each other better, they fall harder—I think the tension between Eain and Lucien would be quite delicious and fun to read about as they tip toe around each other and the mating bond.

2. Parallel journeys:

I like what Mor said in ACOFAS and it makes complete sense since it reaffirms that both Elain and Lucien are going on parallel journeys:

Mor drank deeply from her glass. "Stay out of She's not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings."

I lifted a brow. "Snoop."

Mor leaned back against the steps, utterly un-repentant. "Let him live with his Band of Exiles. Let him deal with Tamlin in his own way. Let him figure out where he wants to be. Who he wants to be. The same goes with her."

3. Promised HEAs:

SJM already stated that each book going forward will follow different pairings and by the end of their book they'll get their HEA. That's the standard traditional romance formula.

A mate rejection, especially in standalone books, are miserable. Not enough time is given to navigate through it or move on and it also sets an unrealistic and cheap outcome that the other mate could easily move on from the soul-level rejection. No, that doesn't entitle a mate to force their other mate to accept the bond because it would affect them personally, it's just something I think that needs more than a book to discover through the POVs of the characters involved.

This is why a mate rejection is a very rare and an unpopular trope in fiction. There was a temporary mate rejection in the Zodiac Academy series that scarred the ZA fandom because it's depressing.

You have Fated Mates authors like Kresley Cole who published around 21 books with each book including the Fate Mate trope. That's one of ACOTAR's trademark.

Till this day, every SJM character that found out about the mating bond ended up with their mate one way or another. It's an SJM trademark at this point.

4. Then which rejected bond would Sarah explore?

In my opinion, the true rejected bond story that would be extremely emotional, tragic and powerful is the story of Helion and Lady of Autumn.

What they had is the definition of a forbidden romance. Lady of Autumn was married to a High Lord from her Court and Helion wasn't even a High Lord of the Day Court then.

The stakes are extremely high they could've triggered a war between Day Court and Autumn Court. Even though a mating bond triumphs marriage, Lady of Autumn still has children with Beron. She chose her children over her mate in the end. She had to reject the bond because everything stood against them.

While this is currently theoretical but it's strongly pointed at in canon that they're mates.

This makes for a better story of a Rejected Mating Bond because enough time passed to see what were the repercussions, the consequences of their actions and how they both suffered. Do they find their way back to each other in the end or does one of them for whatever reason loses their life? Did Helion have to seek other people to distract him from not being with his mate and her not choosing him? Did their bond weaken?

Conclusion:

I didn't expect this to be long but I hope you enjoyed reading this "essay". The rejected mates storyline is controversial and so many readers feel strongly about it. Everything here reflects my own thoughts and why I think a Rejected Mating bond wouldn't be an interesting one to discover with Elain and Lucien.

I deserve another cup of coffee and on my way to get me one haha. I apologize for any typos in advance.

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 - 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧

teaser!

✧ in which the attempt to get distracted from your feelings might not end exactly as you planned

jungwon x fem!reader

genre: mostly angst, some fluff

warnings: mentions of physical violence, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cheating + will possibly add more to the list as i continue writing

word count: tba

a/n: might change the title! >.<

↝ dazzlingjaeyun's bookshelf

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

"... and then she agreed to go on another date with me", jungwon finished his neverending rambling about his crush, while you poured boiling water into the cup that contained your favorite instant noodles. you hadn't paid much attention to what your friend on the other end of the line had talked about for what felt like three hours. instead, you did every possible thing you could think of - hell, you even cleaned the damn windows, just to be distracted and not forced to listen to him.

part of you felt bad; he was your friend after all and besides his closest friend jay, he talked to no one but you about his private life. another part of you tried to convince yourself that you were just protecting yourself - and him - from an emotional burst out.

you could have sworn that you were obvious enough - that he knew about your feelings. sometimes, you even thought he might start returning them. that was until the both of you ran into that girl at a party a few weeks ago and you saw the way he looked at her - the same way that you looked at him. with so much adoration and longing in his eyes that your hopes of mutual feelings for each other crashed down in an instant, the pieces of it shattering across the same floor that you hoped would open and swallow you right there and then.

after your encounter with said girl, and several drinks later, jungwon had finally worked up enough courage to approach her. what you had hoped to be a short chat and maybe an exchange of phone numbers turned into an hour-long conversation and a quick text from you to your friend that you'd head home.

since then, you'd be the first one - or at least the second, after jay - who got to listen to every detail about every date the two of them had been on.

"hello? are you still here?", jungwon's voice startled you, snapping you back to reality. you hummed in response. "i called your name at least five times, are you sure you're okay?", you could hear a hint of concern in his voice.

you nodded, but hummed again after you realized he couldn't see your response. "anyways, congrats", you shifted the attention away from you. "i think i'll go to sleep, good night, won", you said half-heartedly, hoping to give a valid reason to hang up.

you quickly ended the call before he could open his mouth to ask for an explanation as to why you'd go to sleep at 7pm.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

a few days later, you were sitting between your two friends in the usual bar at the usual time. when your friend group sort of broke apart after you all had started college, you, jay, and jungwon were the only ones that did not lose sight of each other. normally, you'd be happy about meeting them for the weekly catch-up, but a few drinks into the evening, you started regretting joining them. if only jungwon talked about anything else, other than her.

"it's enough, jungwon. let her say something as well", jay cut jungwon off before he could utter another sentence about how his date went. his gaze turned towards you. "you're the only one who hasn't updated us yet. your turn.", he locked eyes with you shortly, before grabbing his glass to take a sip of his drink.

jay knew. you'd never said anything to him, but you knew that he knew. unlike his younger friend, jay was aware of the sparkle in your eyes when you looked at jungwon - and aware of how it died whenever he mentioned his almost-girlfriend.

you shrugged, "it's just the usual... nothing interesting, i guess?"

jay let out an almost inaudible sigh, thinking hard about how to get you to say a few more words, until-

"you're still not seeing anyone?", his eyes locked with yours again, "i'm sure there are some guys in college who are all over you. maybe you should try your luck?"

he gave you a knowing look, as if he subtly wanted to tell you: get yourself out there and distract yourself from him.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

full story is out now: continue reading here

[idontplaytrack]

Not A Word

jealous! AJ Campos x fem reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, coarse language, jealous AJ(obvi😂), bit of a smutty ending

Requested? Yes / No

"

Me? Jealous? Jealousy is not a word I'm familiar with.

"

“AJ! You’re out. y/n’s gonna run instead.”

“What…?” AJ looked at coach Murray, in utter disbelief. “Why?”

“Her timing’s gotten better than yours and we need to place, as you know.”

“Fine, whatever. Even though we still have plenty of time for me to train.” AJ jogged away in a huff.

You watched her leave, worried. Shit.

“Okay, y/n. Go to the starting line, you’re gonna run a few.”

“A few?”

“Yeah, a few laps to practice.” He nearly scoffs, “Go, go.”

“Alright.” You shrug, heading for the starting line as he said, then started running. The whole time, you were wondering where the heck she went off to. When you stopped for a bathroom break, you saw her sitting there by a pillar, drawing in her notebook. AJ looked up, saw you, and scooched a little further away. Sighing, you decided to leave her alone for now.

She was still there when you walked out of the bathroom. Resisting the urge to talk to her, you jogged back to the track. You didn’t see her for the rest of practice, and after practice, you couldn’t find her. You tried texting, then you tried calling. She didn’t pick up, she didn’t reply. And then her phone was switched off. “y/n? What’s wrong?” Gabi walked up behind you.

“I can’t find AJ. I tried calling and texting her but then she switched off her phone.”

“I think I have an idea for where she might be. Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”

“Okay, thanks.” You followed her to her car and she drives you a park a little ways away from their house. “She’s usually by the pond sketching after a bad day. Though now, usually she goes to you, but since that isn’t the case right now, here she is.” Gabi stops to let you get off. You spot someone sitting down on the grass by the pond. “Oh, my God. Thanks, Gabs.”

“No problem. Glad I could help.”

You approached her quietly, sitting down beside her. “Hey.”

She shifts slightly, letting you know that she was aware of your presence, but she doesn’t take her earphones off. “AJ.” You repeated. “We need to talk.”

“For what?”

“About practice.” You began, lightly tugging her earphones off.

She sighs, closing her book. “AJ, Murray’s decision— I didn’t think he would pick me to go. I just ran. I- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry about that. You improved, that’s a good thing.” AJ looks at you, then focused back on the ducks in the pond. “I just— I don’t know, I was—”

That was something she struggled with, opening up to you about her feelings. She always kept to herself. It’s always been like this and you have been trying to get her to be more open instead of trying to shoulder everything herself. Sometimes, it works, she’s okay, she talks. Other times, like right now, she just completely shuts you off and runs away. AJ doesn’t like it that you have to see her upset, you know it but you couldn’t care less if she cried in front of you. You would just hold her and let her cry it out and whatever else she needed. Did she know that? Yes she does, she just…struggles with accepting that you’re there for her.

“Jealous?”

AJ scoffs, “Me? Jealous? Jealousy is not a word I’m familiar with.”

“Babe, that’s okay, it’s a valid emotion. Okay? I will literally pull myself out of the team if it means that you get to run the race.”

“y/n, why would you do that? You’re great at it.” She answered tearfully.

“Because, it no longer makes me happy, actually. I feel more stressed than I do relaxed when I go to practice.” You admit, “I just stayed because it looks good on my record, transcript, whatever. I can see it, you love the sport. It’s what makes you feel happy, confident, recharged.”

AJ swallowed thickly, fighting the forming tears. “I’m just used to having to be the best, y/n. My Dad expects me to be the best, that if I even slip up just one time, I feel like I failed. I feel like everyone is judging me…”

————

“Baby, I- I know it’s so hard, I know your Dad’s hard on you. But it’s me…I’m here for you no matter what. For anything.” You told her, grabbing her hand, “See, look at this. This ring- it doesn’t cost much but it means the world to me because it represents the promise that we made to each other. I wear it all the time, and so do you…it’s tiny, but important. but not as important as you being there for me, me being there for you. We’ve been through some shit. But we don’t let it take us down forever. I don’t care how bad your day is, how much you need to scream or cry, run or punch someone. I will be there with you to do that with. I’m here, let me share things with you. You’re not alone— don’t just shove everything down.”

AJ chokes on a sob and then just ended up bursting into tears. You put your arms around her as she laid her head onto your chest. “It’s okay, baby. Just let it out, okay?”

“I know, you need the reassurance. You’ve told me that. So do I, sometimes. And in the event where I can’t give it to you, remember the ring. Our promise…this conversation. Please. AJ, I love you and I care about you. I want you to remember that.” By the time you finished talking, you were in tears as well. “You’re alright, honey.” You kissed the side of her head while rubbing her back. “We’re okay.”

“I’m sorry.” She sniffled, “It was wrong of me to get jealous. It wasn’t even your fault. And I just — gave you the side eye like you chose to run in the race.”

“Baby.” You chuckled, breaking away from the embrace and tilting her head by the chin, “I don’t care about that. It happened, so what? I know you, I know you didn’t mean that. I actually found that look on your face kinda funny, and very adorable actually.”

AJ laughs a little and ends up coughing, “I…I need you to know that too, I love you no matter what. No matter how shitty of a day I might have.”

“I know that, AJ. I know.” You promised, “I think I kinda know you pretty well by now.”

She blinks, licking her lips while looking at you. Something about that look in her eyes, there was like a shift in the mood almost instantaneously. AJ’s hand travels over your shoulder and down to your upper back, gently connecting your lips with her own. Somehow, you managed to push her back enough so that she’s laid on her back on the grass. AJ chuckles, “Hey. What are you doing?”

“What were you doing?” You retorted.

“Kissing you.” She answered, eyebrows raised briefly before crashing her lips onto yours again, hand roaming your back.

“AJ, do not take off my—”

She chuckles into the kiss, mumbling an ‘okay’ and the kisses don’t stop. “I love you.” She combs a hand through your hair while you now laid your head on her chest.

“I love you too, baby.” You replied, finger tracing her chest randomly.

“Maybe we should go…” She remarked, hand still massaging your scalp.

“Why?”

“It’s starting to get kinda dark, aaaand I don’t want those poor ducks to see what I’m about to do to you.”

“Oh.” You gasped, eyes looking into hers, “So we’re gonna do that now?”

“If you want to, of course.” She bit back a grin.

“Hell yeah, I want to.” You snuggled closer to her for a bit, “I also wanna just cuddle with you. This feels really nice.”

“We can do that afterwards.” AJ wiggles her brows, her fingers stopping in your hair.

“Really? Okay.” You exhaled, “Okay, let’s go.”

Once you returned with AJ to her house, she leads you up to her room, smoothly locking her door. “So, you’re sure?”

“Oh, yeah.” You confirmed, arm resting on her shoulder as you leaned in to kiss her first.

“Oh, my God.” AJ mumbles into the kiss, pulling you in by the waist.

After that, you were in the shower with her. You helped her shampoo her hair and lather the soap on her body. She does the same. You loved moments like these and she does, too. Quiet, comforting intimacy after sex. AJ randomly cups her face in her hands and presses a kiss to your cheeks then all over your face. It made you giggle, and she smiles. “You’re so cute.” AJ says while brushing the hair out of your face.

“Have you looked in the mirror, babe? You’re fucking adorable.” You held her chin, puckering up your lips and she kisses you again as expected.

“The mirror? I just did. Like, 10 minutes ago when you were trying to—”

“Let’s not.” You put a finger to her lips, “I’m too tired for another round.”

She had a tiny smirk on her face that turned into a sweet smile as she shut the water off, “Okay.”

Once you two stepped out of the shower, she quickly hands you a towel to dry yourself off with. AJ did the same then went over to her dresser to get a change of clothes- for her and for you. She got dressed in a comfy muscle tank and sport shorts, and you then put on the t-shirt and shorts she laid out for you. You climbed back into bed with her, immediately snuggling up against her with your head on her chest. “Sleepy, babe?” Her hand was on your back, the warmth comforting you,

You nodded, humming in response. “Jealousy is so hot on you, if I’m being honest.”

“Oh, is it?” She guffawed, patting your back to lull you to sleep.

“Just try not to tire me out so much all the time.” You mentioned that so casually, it made her giggle again. “Okay, beautiful.” AJ smiled to herself, “I promise. Get some rest.”

[sunnydayjackass]

So, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. (You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.) But how would Jack react to us not wanting to celebrate our birthdays? Again you don’t have to do this, it’s just out of curiosity if anything.

Initially, Jack is really confused why you don't celebrate your birthday. Absolutely baffled, he views your birthday as a monumentous occasion- you were born into this world, beautiful, beautiful you. You're his entire world, you're the most important person to him, you're what matters most. While you should be celebrated regularly, Jack would want to pull out all the stops he possibly could to make your birthday a special occasion. Sacred even.

But to you, it's just another day on the calendar. Just another fucking Tuesday. You don't take the day off, you don't make plans or treat yourself to anything in particular. Honestly - you'd forget it all together if you could if not for getting a handful of texts from Shaun and other friends. The former knows you- keeps it simple with a "Happy Bday from me and Moonpie". Ian is probably a little bit more despite knowing but you opt not to even validate his message with a read receipt.

Would like to think that the conversation comes up somewhat organically. Jack figures out your birthday one way or another, and simply asks what you want to do, what you would like, he's got ideas- sure but he wants this absolutely, perfectly, tailor made to you.

"Your birthday is next week, Sunshine!"

"Hm? Oh, yeah...I guess so."

Your unenthusiastic reply has Jack's brow furrowing, smile unwavering, but it's clear that wasn't the response he had been anticipated.

"Well, what would you like to do? We've gotta celebrate!"

"...Nah, never really been my thing. I'd rather not."

The ever bright smile falters, there's apparent confusion, concern, Jack's brain is working into overdrive trying to figure out if this is a joke, hell if it's even a test for him to do something for you on his own but...that isn't like you at all.

"But...birthdays are special. You're special, Sunshine...I wanna celebrate you." Jack worries that something is the matter, he won't outright pry and you can tell looking up from your book that he's far more concerned about this than you've ever been.

"To some people, sure. I've just never been into celebrating my birthday honestly. For a couple of reasons. But like... I'm fine, it's fine. I'd just rather not." You reply gently, and you can see clear as day it's a little difficult for Jack to wrap his head around what should be a simple concept. Ultimately what it boils down to is that you don't want to and that should be enough for him. All Jack wants is for you to be content and happy, if that means not celebrating, he'll earnestly try.

Maybe you don't tell him, eager as he is to know, he won't press but it's something that'll stick with him.

Maybe you do. Be it you've never had a good birthday, family issues, trauma, ect. Or maybe it's just that you don't see the significance of it the way others do. It's just a day, it isn't worth the fuss. Jack will listen intently and approach it from a place of empathy and sincerity.

However, Jack still can't help himself, but he knows you. You don't wake up to streamers all over the place or balloons, there's none of that obnoxious birthday song playing, you wake up like another day on your birthday. But there's the smell of coffee/tea/your favorite morning drink being made from the kitchen and something sweet. Jack makes you either a solitary little cupcake or a stack of pancakes with a candle stuck up top the middle with a sheepish little look on his face and pink marring his cheeks.

"I cant...not celebrate you, Sunshine." He replies. He's not so overt as he'd like to be but it's just something small and simple with a little handmade card on the table. Just something to show you how much he absolutely adores you. While he would love to shower you with attention and affection to make the day special, he does his best to try and reel it in though he still offers a massage in the evening, offering to make your favorite dinner or meal, ect. Things he still does regularly that he thinks he can do all the same just today especially.

All Jack does, he does for you, Sunshine.

[holycatsandrabbits]

How to Write Implied Smut 

**Ironically, this article is somewhat NSFW**

So you want to write about sex without writing about sex. (Or maybe you don’t want to, but you need to, which is usually where I end up.) Some writers and readers love smut, and some don’t, which is totally valid. Or sometimes you’ve got a couple of characters who’d like to get it on, but your story guidelines require a SFW rating. Whatever the reasons for keeping things under cover (pun intended), here are some helpful hints about hinting:

Method 1: Read between the lines

In this approach, there are no sex scenes at all, no (heavy) kissing, no wandering around in nothing but your socks. You want the reader to know Jane and Betsy participate in a certain indoor sport together, but we’re not going to pop a single blouse button on-screen. Here are three ways to do it:

Situation-based clues include having Jane and Betsy share a room at a hotel, arrive at work or leave together, keep their stuff at each other’s houses, wear each other’s clothes, etc. 

Other characters can assume Jane & Betsy are a couple, knowing that if you text one at three a.m. the other is likely to answer, or if you tell Jane something, Betsy will immediately know, or even blatantly stating they aren’t just roommates.

Jane and Betsy themselves can act like they’re lovers in a SFW way. G-rated signs of offscreen physical intimacy include sitting in each other’s laps, touching faces, briefly kissing on the mouth, and holding hands.

This “between the lines” method leaves the physical relationship entirely to the reader’s imagination. There are no hints of specifics in the bedroom, no scenes that will get your reader’s temperature rising. Perfect for some writers and readers. The next two methods have more heat.

Method 2: Kiss and don’t tell

This is what they call “closing the door.” Cue your characters kissing and then fade to black, and if you want to say what happens afterward, stick to general terms. You know, it was a very enjoyable evening, they got to know each other better, Jane learned what it was like to spend a night with Betsy. 

You can also have Jane and Betsy wake up in bed together the next morning, possibly showing them zipping up their dresses or even searching for their dresses wherever they may have been flung off on the way to the bedroom. You can even hang handcuffs from the headboard—and guess what? That’s all still G-rated.

Example from my (rare) SFW works:

They touched as much as they liked then, with fingers and mouths certainly, but also with toes and ears and knees. They laughed and moaned and they learned how to be as close as two people could ever be to each other, not just touching anymore, but for many sparkling moments actually being one body.

–The Other Arrangement (one of my Good Omens fanfics)

Unlike the first method, this “close the door” bit leads the reader into thinking about the specific bedroom scenario you’ve set up, which they can imagine at any heat level they like—or not imagine it at all. (Not everybody wants to look through the keyhole.) The last method is a bit more, well, explicit.

Method three: Think hard—er, carefully—about word choice

How to say they’ve got erections without saying they’ve got erections:

“Oh,” said Aziraphale, in a brave voice, “and here I thought my enthusiasm was rather obvious.”

Crowley didn’t move, but the expression on his face suggested that he could feel exactly what Aziraphale was talking about, and that he knew Aziraphale could feel the same from him.

-The Angel’s Bracelet (oh wow more Good Omens).

Believe it or not, you can actually have SFW sex on-screen if you’re choosy with words. So hard becomes aroused, ass becomes rear, tits become chest. Don’t name any super-naughty body parts at all. 

Terri was even softer and warmer than Heather had imagined, her curves unable to be contained by Heather’s small hands. Not that Heather didn’t try, and that was when they realized they probably should not be doing this in the library.

“You will let me take you on a real date, won’t you?” Terri asked, smoothing Heather’s hair where it had come loose from her bun.

“Well, what’s customary for a fifth date?” Heather asked, refastening two of Terri’s shirt buttons.

–Blind Date with a Book (wtf this is not Good Omens?!) 

In this “word choice” method, the reader knows exactly what’s happening, but it’s still safe enough to be read in public. It’s like naughty art with careful blurring. This method can be satisfying for a reader who doesn’t want to have to imagine the rest of the scene, or at least wants to know how the writer imagined it. And it’s good for writers who want to obey the letter of the law while still showing a love scene (see how I used the SFW term for “sex scene”?).

Writing smut without smut is a good tool (pun intended sorry) for writers because it lets those who don’t want to write smut still convey high heat between their characters, and because it lets smut-comfortable writers reach SFW audiences. I often have two versions of stories I’m submitting, one explicit and one not, so I can try more markets.

Please note you should never send an explicit work to a submission call unless the guidelines specifically say it’s allowed, because some editors/slush readers don’t want to read smut. When in doubt, politely query first.

Anyway if you want to read some more of my non-fanfic smut go here.

Thanks for reading! Looking for (SFW) inspiration? Get some weird writing prompts

This article was first published on my writing blog

DannyeChase.com ~ AO3 ~ Linktree ~ Weird Wednesday writing prompts blog ~ Resources for Writers 

Image credit

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

re: 405

This is gonna be long.

First, I'm bringing this post back around to remind people that kocchi is a pronoun of ambiguous plurality.

This means that an interpretation of "we" is just as correct as an interpretation of "I." Readers may interpret it differently, but on simply linguistic grounds, they are of equal validity.

You will often see this kind of ambiguous language used in Japanese, even with characters that are forthright. The reason is one part cultural expectation that the listener will read between the lines, and one part a willingness to accept two things as simultaneously true. This exists and is frequently found in English as well, there just isn't a direct parallel for kocchi itself.

What I want most out of writing this blog, aside from personal enjoyment, is for people to understand that there can be more to a story for you to engage with, think about, and be moved by, when you step outside the boundaries of your own language and culture.

I think that is a much more interesting space to be in than a gotcha-laden approach of trying to prove something wrong or bad.

But if we are going to talk accuracy, the fact is that the fan translation many people have been upholding as superior has just as many problems as the official one. It takes just as many creative liberties, they are simply different ones.

The fan translator centered an "I" reading and, rather than using either of the two pronouns provided by the text ("OFA" and あいつ, meaning "that guy"), added a narratively-charged word ("nerd") that did not exist in the original and which (as far as I can tell) Katsuki has never used when speaking to villains. As a translator myself, I really disagree with that second choice. The official clearly missed the callback, but noticed the theme of "everyone who has faced AFO until now" and went with "we." The rest was just style over substance which prioritized edgy language to capture the aggression of the line; this falls squarely in line with what Viz has consistently maintained as its in-house aesthetic. It's disappointing, but unsurprising to me.

Fandom oscillates pretty violently between vilifying the official English release and fawning over it. Whole fan theories are built upon nitty gritty bits of the official release's phrasing; people will get excited over how homoerotic a line sounds, and it's because of how the official translator worded it, rather than any innate implication in the original Japanese.

If you do not speak Japanese, your experience of MHA is fundamentally dependent on the work of translators. I respect that everybody has their personal tastes or hopes for how the series will go, but it is deeply demoralizing as a Japanese speaker and translator to see fans who don't speak any Japanese at all act as though their opinion has the same weight of authority as people who do.

You are entitled to your preferences, but please recognize that they are based in taste, not personal knowledge. Not all Japanese translators will even agree in their interpretations, but it weirds me out that some non-Japanese-speaking fans will use this fervor to spread misinformation far and wide that proclaims as inaccurate perfectly good official translations, simply because the choices don't suit their own tastes.

The lists of "times the fan translations were better" I've seen mostly contain instances where the fan translators took greater liberties than the official release did, and some fans just happened to like the liberties that were taken.

We all reasonably hated the "best friend" fan translation of chapter 359, but somehow that isn't a point forever against fan translations the same way mistakes in the official release are?

At this point, it makes me wonder what the point of writing about linguistic nuance is, if the interest is primarily not in learning but in being told what you want to hear.

I know posting this won't win me any favor with anybody, but it's how I feel. I'm bummed about 405's last line in the official. I do hope it gets revised. But the vibes around translation details are getting decidedly unfun.

One last thought: if you well and truly want to experience MHA unfiltered, learn Japanese. I mean this sincerely, I'm not trying to be a jerk. We live in an age where it is easier and more possible than ever to acquire a new language, talk to people around the world, and absorb yourself in culture and history.

If you want to remove middle-men and develop your own relationship with a work unfettered by the tastes, biases, or choices of others, learn the language. It won't be easy, but I can guarantee you won't regret broadening your horizons and discovering even more beautiful stories in the world.

[amyrlinegwene]

Some thoughts:

The Wheel of Time is a piece of literature and it’s okay for people to interpret things in different ways or have the text resonant differently for you than another fan. And that even if you find some interpretations/ships/character arcs that people are interested in distasteful, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are right and the other person is wrong, and vice versa.

Sure, some opinions might be based more in canon than others, but RJ was an author that was deliberate in leaving room for ambiguity, misunderstanding, and critique in his characters, relationships, plots, and cultures. He also was creating a framework of the world in WoT that might have not completely reflected his own beliefs but rather an attempt to create an interesting world and power system. Canon should of course be the stable foundation of any fandom and it’s important to remember what is canon and what is not. But is also important to remember that canon can be interpreted or critiqued in many different ways.

If someone is not actively taking a bad faith approach to the text (ex: blatantly misogynistic takes on Egwene, Elayne), I feel like we have to allow multiple interpretations of the text because two contradictory views can be true at once, especially in a work as complex as the WoT.

Some examples:

- RJ’s tendency to pair women characters up with a heterosexual partner by the end of the series can be critiqued for being misogynistic. However you could argue that he was trying to fit the theme of balance between genders. You can also find a particular ship out of these pairings interesting and want to explore it more through analysis or fic. ALL three of these things can be true. You can also not agree with some or any or all of these points without completely invalidating that other fans see it this way.

- Some fans find polyamory representation they relate to in Rand having three girlfriends/wives. Other fans critique it as a misogynistic trope. Both interpretations can be valid.

- Similarly, in different wot fandom spheres Elayne and her relationships are seen different ways. Some fans insist she’s straight, some that she’s bisexual, and others that she is a lesbian who experienced compulsory heterosexuality in her relationship with Rand. These fans all have their own reasons (namely, in order: her only canon relationship is with Rand; her first sister bond and relationship with Aviendha can be interpreted as romantic in addition to her relationship with Rand; and some find the difference in chapters/care/detail that RJ gave Elayne and Avi’s relationship compared to hers with Rand to be a compelling argument for comphet). The text and a healthy fandom allows for all of these interpretations, even if you may personally disagree with some of them.

In short, consensus in fandom is great, but allowing for differing opinions and healthy dissent is better, especially with a text as rich as the Wheel of Time.

[hms-no-fun]

i just want you to know that i read... i think Most of godfeels and had to stop because i was not enjoying it. but i think its really good and i really respect what you do. i think it's all too easy for people to mix up "this is not my cup of tea" with "this is bad and/or problematic". they dont take the time to see the artistry in it, why it is what it is, what it might be saying beyond their surface level read and the kneejerk reaction to it.

i also wanted to note that ive always been kind of scared of sharing fanworks for fear of writing "out of character" - and ive also even been afraid of it in original works. character isn't real and concrete, so anyone can decide something's out of character. so your exploration of that concept gives me more confidence as a writer. i really appreciate that and everything else you do. :)

thank you so much for this message! i'm glad you tapped out rather than force your way through something you weren't enjoying, that's a very mature response and something i wish more folks would recognize as a perfectly valid option. in fact i think pushing through and reading long after you've given up on the material, so to speak, is a great way to wind up angry at a writer for having "forced" you to endure such a trying experience. as i've said before, an author can't force you to do anything. you can close the book any time you like.

as far as the tension of "in character/out of character" goes, i think a lot of people in fandom struggle with the fact that "character" is very much in the eye of the beholder. sub-groups form within fandoms based on identities, politics, sexual predilections, etc, and typically gather around the fire that is their particular interpretation of a character. but from within that sub-group, it's rarely considered "an interpretation" so much as the obvious intended truth of the text. it's that intoxicating mood of finding people who share a perspective you rarely see elsewhere, like oh my god, you GET it, finally someone GETS it!

in homestuck fandom, for instance, quite a lot of people hate vriska and think she sucks, with a vocal sub-group of that sub-group still actively beating the drum that everything about her arc after [S] Game Over is the worst part of homestuck. but i love vriska, and my corner of the fandom very much organized around a full-throated defense of her. some folks think homestuck did tavros and gamzee dirty and that this is a fatal flaw in the text; when i countenance these people, i am convinced we read two very different comics. who's right and who's wrong? there are degrees. i can pull out any number of quotes from andrew hussie about the importance of vriska and the weenieness of tavros, but then, authors love to say things, and there's plenty of stories i love in ways that directly oppose to the authors' stated intent. the debate can never end because we are only ever talking about the version of a character or story that exists in our heads, based on the things that stuck with us when we read the thing (however long ago that was-- which is important because i find a LOT of people adamantly defending their headcanons haven't read the source text in a number of years. as time passes, your perception of the media you've experienced in the past morphs and distorts. someone who was right five years ago can be wrong today and not even notice the difference).

something i've realized in the last year is how much godfeels emerged from a very specific milieu, not just in terms of how we interpreted certain characters but in our approach to analyzing and talking about the text altogether. i believe most of the important stuff in godfeels is "in character" in most of the ways that matter, but it's built on a very specific meta that centered vrisrezi and transness and radical leftist politics and experimental hypertext. really, it's a post-Epilogues fanwork even despite the fact that godfeels 1 predates their release by a few weeks. and i think to this day a lot of homestuck fans haven't read the epilogues but have read fandom posts about how terrible they are (quite a lot of which will have either been written by teens, by people who already didn't like homestuck very much, or by one of the regressive stalkery weirdos prominent in the homestuck reddit/discord), and that misapprehension keeps them in the dark about just how many amazing tools the epilogues introduce to the homestuck formula that exponentially expand the expressive possibilities of attentive fanworks. and it of course elides the fact that the homestuck epilogues are a story about being in your 30s. i think we'll be getting a big re-appraisal of the epilogues in 5-10 years. it'll be the "twin peaks: fire walk with me" of homestuck, just you wait.

so these readers see my version of dirk being an unhinged murderous dick to a newly-out trans woman and go "he would never do that." then if i point at the epilogues, they'll say "i didn't read them/they're not even canon/that wasn't in character either." at which point there's nothing really to say, because we have two completely different perceptions of the text. who's right and who's wrong is almost always infinitely subjective, a circumstance that humans are notable for being very good at handling in a mature and politely discursive manner.

so i've got an "author's introduction" to godfeels baking in my docs to provide some context about the meta this story is built on, the milieu it came out of, that sort of thing. it won't make much of a difference in practical terms, but it'll at least be something i can point to.

in any event, thanks for this message. all i ever want is for people to give it an honest shot. i hope you can continue harvesting confidence from wherever it can be found. it takes a lot of audacity and backbone to be an artist, especially when you have something worthwhile to say. remember that you're not writing for the haters, you're writing for the kind of person, like you, who wants to see more stories like the thing you're writing. they're the ones who'll get it, they're the ones who'll stick around long after the haters have lost interest.

[natureboy96]

Valid/Invalid criticism

Reposting part of my larger post on criticizing a text for an important part, especially after seeing two more problematic posts today.

You can criticize the actions and choices and motivations of a book character all you want, using whichever method of critique you want. If you want to call Rhysand a pedo because he came to a pic of his child, you can make that take. If you call Tamlin a serial abuser who brought everything on himself, you can make that take.

What isn’t ok, is using your takes to criticize the people who disagree with you.

(These are just a few examples I’ve seen in the last few days, but I’m pretty sure everyone in this fandom has seen personal attacks along these lines, some far worse than the ones I grabbed. It’s also not a matter of degrees of bad faith criticism, all of these are of the same vein and one isn’t more ‘valid’ than others because it wasn’t as harsh.) Believing Rhysand is a pedo doesn’t make it ok to call people who like him the same. Believing Lucien is a terrible person doesn’t make someone who likes him a person of questionable morals. Having a different method of criticizing a text doesn’t make someone else’s different way of approaching the text wrong.

This is an example of text criticism that might not be popular but is focused on the text and is valid

The criticism is focused on the characters and their actions - it doesn’t judge the people who like Rhysand, it doesn’t call people terrible for agreeing or disagreeing. This is an entirely valid take that can be engaged with maturely.

At the end of the day, these characters, this world, this narrative are all constructs, not people. You are not Feyre, you are not Tamlin, you are not Rhysand or a Valkyrie or Elain or Cassian. You do not deserve to be judged for the actions of fictional characters, and you should not be judged for your opinions on these characters either. And you need to let others have differing opinions on characters, even ones you dislike intensely.

Bad faith criticism makes me not want to say Cruella DeVille is my favorite Disney character, or people might think I’m a fan of puppy murder. Like, c’mon, there needs to be separation here!

[moutheyes]

many thoughts about currently airing QL

i meant to get this done earlier but i blinked and it's almost we are wednesday again. however, i still wanna get some thoughts on page for posterity.

only boo (completed!)

while this show had its imperfections, its triumphs largely outweighed its shortcomings. as a vehicle to showcase seakeen's acting abilities, chemistry, and viability as a cp, you really couldn't have asked for much more. moo is a son of all time, and both he and kang were fully realized characters that were a joy to watch and root for each week.

i think the writing sacrificed some of its side plots to the trope gods—the secondary romance between potae and payos deserved more than endless miscommunication, while shone's reintroduction as an eleventh-hour obstacle was clunky at best. there are also valid criticisms to be made about gmmtv's (in)ability to deliver a substantial in-text critique of the idol industry's stance on dating, and if that had been part of the show's thesis, maybe i'd feel more strongly about it, but it wasn't. it was an obstacle for the relationship between kang and moo, and as a gmmtv romcom, it was never positioned to promise anything more than a happy ending.

was the central storyline strong enough to overcome some of the uneven writing towards the end? to me, yes, absolutely it was. kangmoo was the beating heart of the show, and the script did everything right, up until graduation, to make us buy into not only their individual characterizations and motivations but also the strength of their relationship, the mutual support and adoration and understanding that made their love feel so much fuller. i'm going to miss having seakeen on my screen every sunday and i hope they get the superstar projects they deserve moving forward.

wandee goodday (ep 8 of 12)

this show has kind of entered a mushy middle stage for me. fake dating, as a trope, requires healthy suspension of belief, and the fwb setup is working at odds with that. it's become very evident in the last couple of episodes, where the only way dee and yak can individually keep up their own pretenses (more on dee's side, tbf to yak) is through a deliberate failure of communication, which gets exhausting to watch after a while. i'm glad yak finally confessed his feelings at the end of ep 8; hopefully the show can emerge out of this storytelling slump and end on a strong note.

oye and cher's proposal scene made me emotional, though. it was so sweet and so simple, and although we still don't have too much background on their relationship, it felt very organic to what we know of them, with the imaginary ring and the casual spontaneity of it all.

my stand-in (ep 9 of 12)

i was not expecting this to be my front-runner for show of the year, but it's really hitting on all levels for me: acting (up is always special, and poom has been a revelation), production (cinematography and camerawork are magnificent), and storytelling (smart, elegant adaptation and localization choices for the most part). with 3 episodes left and most of the major secrets revealed, there's plenty of time for groveling, retribution, and tying up loose ends, by which i mean fucking in missionary. no major notes; carry on.

we are (ep 12 of 16)

last week's episode was a bit slow even by this show's own standards, but what i liked about it was getting to see more of phum and fang's home life and how that has shaped their approaches to relationships. a lot of it was implied in the earlier episodes, so seeing it depicted a little more clearly—phum's abandonment issues and current friction with his father, fang's self-imposed perfectionism—introduced some much-needed depth to their characters.

also, unlike dee and yak's infuriating situationship in wandee goodday, i don't mind the undefined limbo that phum and peem have been occupying. this show has shown us that peem struggles with articulating his sense of self, most notably through his art, so it makes sense to me that he would be overly cautious in confirming his own feelings on an intellectual level, despite being able to act on his emotional and physical connection to phum.

i'm a little worried the show isn't leaving enough room to properly develop chainpun as the final couple, but what we haven gotten is delightful. in another universe this is the friends-to-lovers slowburn of my dreams.

knock knock boys (ep 5 of 12)

speaking of delights, this show is so fucking underrated. it has given me everything i wanted from its pilot trailer: the housemate shenanigans and comedic beats are chef's kiss, of course, but there's also a real sense of a camaraderie being built up between the four boys. the acting, also, has been remarkably even; i knew seng and best would bring it, but jaonine and nokia have held their own and really inhabited their roles.

i'm actually really pleased that jane is, in fact, peak's fiancee. the vibes that some of us got from that initial glimpse of their relationship wasn't wrong, though—they treat each other the way siblings do, which is probably indicative of an arrangement between their families. jane is on "i got your location from your dad" terms with peak's father, but she's also on "i'll cover for you and pretend you're not here" terms with peak, even as she's fully committed to invading his space and annoying the snot out of him until he gives in and stops running from his problems. extremely sibling behavior!! there is not a single whiff of romance between the two of them, but they are facing a difficult situation that will need to be resolved before either of them can move on and live their lives.

one thing about this show that i keep thinking about is the significance of thanwa's wardrobe. i clocked in ep 1 that he and his (probable) ex dressed very similarly, and the scene with the two of them in ep 5 just drove that detail home. now that we know thanwa a little better, i wonder if he's the type of person to conform to a lover's aesthetic (consciously or subconsciously). he is a caretaker and a little bit of a pushover, and clothing choice is a way that could manifest. it might not be anything, but i also wouldn't be surprised if we see some of peak's style sneak into thanwa's wardrobe as their romance develops.

there's so much more i could say about this show! the characters are all so fascinating to me, both individually and as a group!!! i'm gonna be late for a movie if i keep typing, though, so i will try to organize further thoughts after this week's episode.

love sea (ep 3 of 10)

as far as mame shows go, this has been unexpectedly enjoyable from the jump. fortpeat are delivering a much different dynamic than their whumpfest from LITA, and if you take out all the smoldering sex scenes, there has been plenty of actual character (and relationship) development through dialogue, which i appreciate. i like that the tension isn't confined to simple class difference; the writing situates mut at the intersection of various regional, economic, and environmental concerns, and that makes him so much more compelling as a foil to tongrak's more conventional slate of bl traumas. i do hope the show continues to maintain those core parts of his characterization as the romance progresses.

[faketrex]

Slowly but surely approaching the end of this caper... but first, Alex and Henry need to kick off their best friends tour.

To be continued.

...

SHARING A SLICE... part 5

RWRB, rated T, 750 words (this part).

(click here for part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

...

“Alex.”

Blearily, Alex blinks up at the ceiling.

“It's time to wake up.”

The voice is familiar but weird, like listening to a recording of himself. Alex rubs a hand across his eyes and looks over toward the sound of a floorboard creaking. That explains it: his own voice always sounds strange outside his head.

“Go away, Evil Alex,” Alex mumbles. “I'm tired.”

“What?”

“Why no eye patch, Evil Alex? You always have an eye patch.” It doesn't matter. Alex closes his eyes. Since he's still dreaming, he can get some more sleep.

“Get up, we've got brunch reservations and you should shower first. Unless of course you have a fetish for bees? That certainly wasn't on your Wikipedia page.”

“I – bees?”

“Cake contains sugar, Alex. Are you always so obtuse in the morning?”

Cake. Alex snaps awake. He sits up, but Henry-as-Alex has already disappeared through the doorway. “I thought you were my evil dream twin!”

“Your phone won't stop vibrating,” Henry calls back. “Does the name ‘Bug’ sound familiar?”

Fuck. Alex needs to text June – calling would be better if she's blowing up his phone, but June would see through Henry's shitty subterfuge in a second – and then he needs to – “Did you say brunch?”

“We're leaving in thirty minutes.”

Alex showers and brushes his teeth in record time. It's not easy getting clean while trying to ignore, like, all of his borrowed body – Henry's body – but he manages, mostly. Surprisingly, Henry's pretty fit. Alex had assumed all those beach photos were airbrushed.

Back in the living room, he finds Henry wrapped in a robe on the loveseat, scrolling on his phone.

“Why aren't you dressed?”

Henry looks up. “For the same reason you're wearing a towel, I assume. Going through your suitcase would have felt rude.”

“I'll dig out an outfit for you if you get one for me, just try not to – what the fuck did you do to my hair?”

“Nothing.”

“You must have done something, it never looks like that.”

“I didn't–”

“Did y'all ever have guillotines in the U.K.?”

“Charming suggestion, Alex, don't hold yourself back on my behalf.”

Alex keeps his commentary to himself while he's standing six inches away from Henry, trying to fix his hair from an unfamiliar angle, and even while they’re getting dressed – except for some entirely valid criticism of Henry's boring ties – but it's all fair game once they're seated across from each other, pretending to enjoy one another's company.

“You look exhausted,” Alex begins.

“Why, thank you, your royal highness. I didn't sleep much last night.”

“Maybe I should have warned you, I have insomnia.” Alex waits while the server sets down his coffee and a pot of tea for Henry. “I don't know if insomnia is a brain thing or a body thing, though. Hey, does this coffee taste weird? How often do people try to poison you?”

Henry takes a sip from Alex's cup. “It tastes fine. As a world-class insomniac myself, we may never know the answer to that particular question, but it seems we've already determined that taste is a matter of body, not brain.”

“What? How?”

“I don't like coffee.” Henry blinks at him slowly, obviously, like he's waiting for Alex to pick up on a secret code. “Usually.”

“Oh.” They swap drinks. “Anyway, I didn't know royals ate brunch,” Alex continues once he's sipping his Earl Grey and – as if things weren't bad enough – actually enjoying it.

“Alas, man cannot live on ribbon cuttings alone,” Henry quips, so deadpan that Alex nearly snorts. “Brunch was easier to arrange than any other morning appearance, given the spontaneity of today’s... excursion. Shaan is still organizing our afternoon engagements.”

“He's getting everything cleared, right?”

“Of course.” Henry smiles at the server as they arrive with their food. There's no hesitance to it, not like the smiles Alex has seen him wear in photos. At least Henry’s not a dick to service industry workers.

“In normal circumstances, there wouldn't be any public royal appearances the day after a royal wedding.”

“Yeah?” So they're breaking rules by trying to fix everything. Good to know.

Henry nods. “In an effort to avoid stealing attention from the all-important pomp and circumstance, you understand.”

“Well... seems like that ship has already sailed.”

“Boy howdy,” Henry drawls, sipping his coffee. “I do believe you might say we’ve dulled their sparkle.”

Alex can’t help it this time: he laughs. When Henry grins back, Alex isn't even thinking about the cameras.

...

(Part 6)

[broodwolf221]

cole—spirit or human? 

this, like all my meta, is just my personal feelings or interpretation: I am not trying to claim any kind of objective correctness, or to dismiss those who feel otherwise. I remember conversations about cole being somewhat strained so I'm hoping ppl aren't going to be super weird on this post. 

so—cole. I've played both routes and I actually enjoy both of them, but I'm strongly inclined towards making him more of a spirit, and my reasoning comes down to three primary aspects: 1) respecting cole’s autonomy and his choices up to this point, 2) acceptance of an “other” way of being as equally valid to a “human” way of being, and 3) making him more human feels weirdly to me like asking him to replace the real cole in full rather than be himself

1—respecting his autonomy.

cole states early on that he became more of who he was and less human, and that it lets him help. that's a choice he made. on a personal level, even though he's just pixels, I find it deeply uncomfortable to unmake the choice he made about his nature. I understand that he's shown as happy and fulfilled regardless of which path you choose, which is part of why I like both, but this is why I prefer the spirit path: making him more human feels, to me, like the inky is making him more… palatable. or like the game is giving a “comfortable to the player” option. I felt this way when I first played dai when it was new, and I continue to feel this way now

he is happy in both and that's nice, and i like that there's no strong delineation of a right v. wrong choice. at the same time, i've always gotten the sense that cole wants to be more spirit—maybe not because it brings him joy or satisfies him, it could well be that he just believes he will be more useful/functional as a spirit, but even making "bad" decisions (which i don't think this one is, but for the sake of argument) is an individual's right and part of their autonomy

2—acceptance of an “other” way of being as equally valid to a “human” one

in a watsonian, in-text view (which does tend to be my approach), I think it's very important to accept the personhood of spirits, even when they're so fundamentally different. spirit!cole forgets things, can erase negative experiences, etc.—there's a lack of what we'd see as typical growth and maturity going on there, but I'd argue that we can't really effectively apply human (or “mortal” ig, bc elves, dwarves, qunari…) norms to a spirit. 

cole as a spirit of compassion is the way a spirit is supposed to be. the way a spirit is supposed to be is not the way a mortal is supposed to be. and to me, it does feel like his preference throughout the game is to act as a spirit. he stays "pure" and "clean," and that allows him to help without becoming corrupted or changed. it's tempting—and not wrong—to view this through a human lens and to find it unhealthy for him, but i tend to defer to solas' explanations of how spirits are in this case. they can easily be corrupted because they are a Single Thing. that is their nature. wisdom is wisdom; changed by perception, expectation, memory, or pain, it becomes something fundamentally different. spirits are malleable in a way mortals are not

3—replacing the “real” cole 

tbf, this one isn't really supported by anything in game, just a personal discomfort. but he “became” cole after the young man's death. honestly, I find that a little uncomfortable, but I can understand it: the textual “simplicity”/purity of spirits makes sense of that kind of reaction to compassion’s “failure,” its inability to help the real cole (according to its own standards where help=fix: it did help the real cole by being there) 

so, to me, it reads a little like you're confirming that direction when you have cole become more human. ik it's not presented that way, but yeah, personally just makes me uncomfortable bc it feels like I'm encouraging cole to view himself as a replacement of the real cole 

spirits can come back, but they are the sentiment that gave rise to it in the first place, not the individual being itself. compassion taking on cole's name in the first place feels like that to me, but becoming more human feels like it's taking it a step too far. bc then cole becomes a young man who's taken on the face and name of a dead man and it's… it's a lot. for him to grapple with down the line, for the people around him, for everyone. but as a spirit, that kind of behavior feels more like a way of recognizing and respecting the being that came before 

and of course, cole isn't 100% either—he's more human or more spirit. so it's fair to say that it'd still be a sign of respect and acknowledgement of the real cole even if he becomes more human, it doesn't turn automatically into a Bad Thing, and the complexity can honestly be fascinating to explore, bc i imagine as more-human he will develop some complex feelings about all of it

[hauntingsofhouses]

Seeing fan discussions about Blue Eye Samurai and especially Mizu's identity is so annoying sometimes. So let me just talk about it real quick.

First off, I have to emphasise that different interpretations of the text are always important when discussing fiction. That's how the whole branch of literary studies came to be, and what literary criticism and analysis is all about: people would each have their own interpretation of what the text is saying, each person applying a different lens or theory through which to approach the text (ie. queer theory, feminist theory, reader response theory, postcolonial theory, etc) when analysing it. And while yes, you can just take everything the authors say as gospel, strictly doing so would leave little room for further analysis and subjective interpretation, and both of these are absolutely necessary when having any meaningful discussion about a piece of media.

With that being said, when discussing Blue Eye Samurai, and Mizu's character in particular, I always see people only ever interpret her through a queer lens. Because when discussing themes of identity, yes, a queer reading can definitely apply, and in Mizu's story, queer themes are definitely present. Mizu has to hide her body and do her best to pass in a cisheteronormative society; she presents as a man 99% of the time and is shown to be more comfortable in men's spaces (sword-fighting) than in female spaces (homemaking). Thus, there's nothing wrong with a queer reading at all. Hell, some queer theorists interpret Jo March from Little Women as transmasc and that's totally valid, because like all analyses, they are subjective and argumentative; you have the choice to agree with an interpretation or you can oppose it and form your own.

To that end, I know many are equally adamant that Mizu is strictly a woman, and that's also also a completely valid reading of the text, and aligns with the canon "Word of God", as the creators' intention was to make her a woman. And certainly, feminist themes in the show are undeniably present and greatly colour the narrative, and Episode 4 & 5 are the clearest demonstrations of this: Mizu's protectiveness of Madame Kaji and her girls, Mizu's trauma after killing Kinuyo, her line to Akemi about how little options women have in life, and the way her husband had scorned her for being more capable than him in battle.

I myself personally fall into the camp of Mizu leaning towards womanhood, so i tend to prefer to use she/her pronouns for her, though I don't think she's strictly a cis woman, so I do still interpret her under the non-binary umbrella. But that's besides my point.

My gripe here, and the thing that spurred me to write this post, is that rarely does this fandom even touch upon the more predominant themes of colonialism and postcolonial identities within the story. So it definitely irks me when people say that the show presenting Mizu being cishet is "boring." While it's completely fine to have your opinion and to want queer rep, a statement like that just feels dismissive of the rest of the representation that the show has to offer. And it's frustrating because I know why this is a prevalent sentiment; because fandom culture is usually very white, so of course a majority of the fandom places greater value on a queer narrative (that aligns only with Western ideas of queerness) over a postcolonial, non-Western narrative.

And that relates to how, I feel, people tend to forget, or perhaps just downplay, that the crux of Mizu's internal conflict and her struggle to survive is due to her being mixed-race.

Because while she can blend in rather seamlessly into male society by binding and dressing in men's clothing and lowering her voice and being the best goddamn swordsman there is, she cannot hide her blue eyes. Even with her glasses, you can still see the colour of her eyes from her side profile, and her glasses are constantly thrown off her face in battle. Her blue eyes are the central point to her marginalisation and Otherness within a hegemonic society. It's why everyone calls her ugly or a monster or a demon or deformed; just because she looks different. She is both white and Japanese but accepted in neither societies. Her deepest hatred of herself stems primarily from this hybridised and alienated identity. It's the whole reason why she's so intent on revenge and started learning the way of the sword in the first place; not to fit in better as a man, but to kill the white men who made her this way. These things are intrinsic to her character and to her arc.

Thus, to refuse to engage with these themes and dismiss the importance of how the representation of her racial Otherness speaks to themes of colonialism and racial oppression just feels tone-deaf to the show's message. Because even if Mizu is a cishet woman in canon, that doesn't make her story any less important, because while you as a white queer person living in the West may feel unrepresented, it is still giving a voice to the stories of people of colour, mixed-race folks, and the myriad of marginalised racial/ethnic/cultural groups in non-Western societies.

[marylinasblog]

The dating handbook.

Act like you already know you're a catch—but you need to know if he values it. This is how a queen would analyse her candidates before birth control—make him work to prove himself.

Look confident in your femininity, like a proud peacock and let him take your energy in. This will put him on edge and scared to offend but he will relax his nerves a bit once you get talking. This won't throw off a HVM as he doesn't have anything to worry about- he knows you'll trust him in time and he knows you're worth the effort. He will demonstrate he values you: he will book the table at the upscale restaurant and pull the seat out and have in depth conversations whilst giving you the puppy eyes.

Whenever you fall into that 'Omg he's cute does he like me, am I good enough? What else can I do to impress???' mindset, you're going to gift him the upper hand every time & end up chasing/getting your ass run because you're working too hard to get his validation. Approach the date with QUEEN energy that fills up the room. Keep the first dates more serious whilst you sniff him out. Don't become the jokey fun drunk party girl he could just have a bit of fun on the side with (this is important! Do not let him get you blind drunk - that's his tactic to get your guard down for sex).

They can smell that sense of self doubt the same way we can so just relax. He really might not turn out all that (what if he's hot & turns out to be a simpleton? Are you a simpleton? Why does he deserve that pedestal then?). Switch off the scarcity mindset, most these men are very replaceable & far less impressive than they initially make out.

Stop being too available. Have a tint of mystery to your aura. (I will be writing a blog on how to do so). Don't be waiting eagerly for his texts like an addict- assume he's bullshit & make him work for you to think otherwise. Some bored men are just filling time. Equally if he's playing the loooong lazy game on a constant basis, as in really not making much conversational effort, don't get too excited about that & match his low efforts- he may be plating other women, not v interested or trying to turn you into a lapdog (chase me). Don't over complicate it- men will make time for what they value (& some men don't value women full stop). He will find time to mategate dream girl. If he has a v busy job or is going through something stressful (like a sick family member)- give him some leeway but he should still be communicating throughout the week and opening up his weekend time for you. If he is taking too long to reply too often- bring that up & communicate- find out whether it's for genuine reason- make sure you're on the same page & he's in the space to date. Also pay attention to how fast he replies to his phone when with you- if he’s making you wait 4 hours a time & replies to his friend fast- you know where you stand.

Stop being scared to offend them. You need to come down heavy, otherwise these men will wriggle in and ruin your life. They will steal even more time from you. Don't just chase him because you're offended by his behaviour or rejection! Understand his mask has slipped. Do you REALLY want to be involved with that trash? You don't have to risk feeling more hurt, disrespected & used. ​Be in control & cut him off.

This kind of assertiveness will make you unattractive to manipulators. They know you put YOU & your dignity first. They know they can't shake your character.

Keep certain aspects of yourself in the dark for when he has come far enough to gain your trust (6 month minimum for me). This is where restraint & discipline has to come in if they are funny/very attractive/have the gift of the gab. If you're warming to them quickly, you’re in danger of letting your guard down too fast.

Brush off all attempts at him trying to probe too deeply on your personal or sensitive stuff fast (looking for weak-spots 9/10) & respond to any attempts at negging you with blunt sarcastic witty jabs (no over emotional reactions like he worked you up). This shows you can handle fools assertively without getting worked up: you can give as good as you get.

This will either make him wind his neck in & make him stop his shit tests. He then will realise that you're not insecure or here for the BS, or he will escalate this in a bid to crack you & this will become a red flag to cut him off (he's insecure/out of his depth/trying to lower your self-worth).

Be aware that manipulative low value men are prone to selling you sob stories (about ex’s /their childhood) quick to make YOU respond by letting your guard down & revealing your weak spots - so be weary of this as this is often where we women slip up. He says something about his childhood issues & then we splurt out the deepest depths of ourselves. We are judging HIM remember - we already know ourselves - so let him prove himself over time before you truly let him in. Low value men know the prime door to get their foot in is through your emotions. Keep that in mind always. Hence why women who can emotionally self regulate/have discipline/hold high standards are DIFFICULT to manipulate long term - they have internal barriers in place which prevent them from investing once his mask slips. A savvy woman with experience of men, who has options & is not needy, is not gonna show her cards & play wifey fast- if she does, he knows she's REALLY into him & its gonna pump his ego, make him think he can sit back & get away with doing bare minimum. So make him earn it. Men are used to insecure over-emotional women being the norm & making them chase after/nag them- it bores them eventually...so be a challenge & make yourself stand out. It's going to make him curious why you have such high esteem & don't fall for or trust him easily. Show some restraint & keep your game face on, even if you really want to rip his clothes off or really like him, because you barely know this man, his intentions or his character. All of this could be a honeymoon phase or a persona yet.

They are going to start laughing & getting cocky if they think 'haha wow I bagged this girl out of my league quick, that didn't take much' & boy oh boy does that inflate a mediocre man's confidence- this is how their false ego gets built up. You need to bide some time getting to know his character before you start letting the guard down or cooking for him (wifey stuff) or letting him in your apartment quick (convenient for him to escalate to sex). If he starts acting up cos he paid for a measly date or 2 and starts talking about you 'treating' him now or joking about your 'turn'/ going halfsies when he is grown- just laugh in his face at the audacity & look around with the most unimpressed face like you're waiting for the joke- that will shut him up & he won't try that again. But I’d take that as a possible yellow flag he’s insecure, cocky or already resentful of the effort you require- likes he’s already considering whether the investment is worth his while. A confident high value man knows a high value woman is worth every penny- he knows the return on that investment is high- he is sure he has the qualities to keep that woman off the market so spending on dates to prove his generosity is a small price to pay to bah his dream girl. Like I said don’t take personal offence to this shit test- he might be worried he’s not enough of a man to keep you so he’s cautious of all this spending. But if he’s trying this shit test a lot- he is definitely low value/ not trying to commit & he’s likely trying to take you for a soft target to exploit. Believe me he will already know you’re high value, whether they are valuable enough to keep you off the market is another question. That’s for you to decide. It’s his risk if he wants to try to take a high value woman for a ride. Don’t feel bad you wasted his money if he’s happy to waste your time. No one told him to bat up this league, no one told him to lie.

Don't be flattered by lovebombing/ excessive compliments & mistake that for real chemistry. That 'too good to be true' gentleman act/dopamine rush is usually short lived, so stay weary until you're over that 3 month mark (he'll struggle to keep that up if he's bluffing - his attitude & real self will come out). A few compliments from him is totally fine but no 'omg you're absolutely stunning and amazing look at YOUUU!' all the time. It's fake and insincere & he's doing it deliberately to put you on a pedestal he will later dethrone. It’s also likely he sees you as a sexual object for an ego boost.

[homestuckexamination]

okay, you do homestuck, right? ive got this project idea in the works. basically, its homestuck, but thematically inverted. i havent actually finished homestuck, but I made it a long way in, to around Dirk's Derse Coup. i have some questions if you dont mind.

first of all, ive observed thus far that Homestuck id about discarding yourself. characters gradually lose defining traits and get closer to the platonic ideals of their classpects. strife specibi seem to represent that which ails our heroes. to become a god, you must sacrifice your earthly waking body on a magic bed, succumbing to an endless sleep to live forever within a dream. for my version, I wanted to do the opposite, having characters become more of themselves instead of less, and kill their dreamselves to truly "wake up," but first i need to know if these observations are actually valid if you read the whole story, and more generally, how valid is this idea?

any help would be appreciated, thanks!

Now let me preface this by saying: You can do anything at all. You're not restricted by anything other than your own creativity, and largely speaking, so long as you think it's cool/works, any approach is valid. Similarly, Death of the Authro, yadda yadda, there's all manner of divergent readings on a text. So anything regarding personal projects is really largely up to the taste of the author.

That being said, if you're asking me on my take on this theme in the text of Homestuck, I'd say that while you've definitely noticed one of the Big Themes of Homestuck, I'd argue the way Homestuck goes about it is the inverse- Taking the 'Platonic Ideal' of a character, while some characters that achieve Ultimate Self status are in fact better off, namely the Sprites or those sidelined in some way, the loss of self that comes with it is largely showcased as a Bad Thing in the instance of those who already were more important/relevant to the main cast. Even then, and while intrinsically tied to their Classpect, the characters still have their own particular spins on the Classpects- A Classpect is too broad a concept to have a singular 'Platonic Ideal', just as often times the Platonic Ideal of their character can contain contradictions in the 'whole' of their existence!

Homestuck is, first and foremost, a Coming of Age story about Teens growing up into Adulthood, with all the pain, trauma and baggage of carrying the legacy of their world, and their families, on their shoulders, in one way or another. SBURB wants the characters to go through an Arc, develop, and become worthy gods, but as we see time and time again, this is not always necessarily in a character's best interest, and the idea of the Self, what makes you You, if you're still You as time passes, as your body changes, as you become something metaphysically completely detached from what you used to be, and how this affects your interpersonal relationships and your relationship to the world around you, is far more complex than simply 'discarding traits to become closer to your Classpect's Platonic Ideal'.

You succumb to sleep in the Quest Bed, but simultaneously, you do wake up as your Dream Self. Whether you take this as being taken by this Platonic Dream, or truly Waking Up to the true nature of your existence, that's a matter of taste and views. Likewise, this doesn't make the characters that didn't God Tier or die and become their Dream Self any less likely to undergo changes to their Self and 'wake up' in their own right.

It's a complex story! It tackles a lot of themes of the self, agency, growing up and the like, and that is always messy. Some are happier becoming something else. Some cling to what they were. Some were always hiding what they truly were. Some are still figuring out. And that's fine. The metaphysics of SBURB are a device to explore the different ways all of this affects the characters! So the most important thing I'd say is less the validity of the observation in regards to an Inverted Version of Homestuck based on your views, and more:

How would this scenario affect the characters differently, and what new hurdles/feelings/predicaments would this create in their development and the story?