#but like. we're probably gonna part ways someday

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

one of my friends and i were talking about life and where we would be in a few years and it made me a lil bit sad

[pomefioredove]

now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs

parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending

summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up

crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake

he acts so... casual about it?

swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"

"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"

okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you

"To what?"

Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."

(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)

Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices

"So you'll let me go once you get me?"

"Uhhh..."

Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him

Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him

(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)

Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess

even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast

you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!

of all the irresponsible things...

of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too

purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble

he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours

of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too

going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?

I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?

actually don't answer that

...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie

but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?

for one, you'd make a really good pillow

he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that

and malleus would hate it

...that's reason enough for him

plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?

either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie

news travels fast around school, after all

then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed

that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!

besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!

so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price

he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, Azul is annoyed

once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about

talk about good marketing...

why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!

of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary

it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one

Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof

though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion

a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around

and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says

"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"

hint: he is not

the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it

(AKA infinite sleepovers)

and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!

he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in

right next to his of course :)

and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you

after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him

You don't always get what you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable

he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner

with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...

when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs

oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?

of all the silly, immature things...

oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding

(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)

Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile

but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately

with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"

Idia understandably freaks out

"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"

(liar)

(...but this is still different)

the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus

"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."

Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"

"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"

"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"

Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege

Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made

he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident

though, of course, he goes to you first

seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week

and he's in a great mood!

"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"

you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"

"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"

you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"

"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"

certainly he's not this naive, you think

"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"

he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"

huh. that was a strange way of putting it

but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it

and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!

"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"

he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"

"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Just Have to Feel It

Day #9 - Prompt: The Hideout | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Gareth | Pairing: None | Tags: Getting Started, First Gig at The Hideout

"I'm fourteen," Gareth says, stressing that last part, just in case they've all forgotten.

"Yeah, we're all well aware of that, kid," Eddie answers, smirking.

And that's not a problem? Fourteen-year-olds don't go to bars. Not even in small towns. It's just not done.

"And that's not a problem, you don't think?" Gareth asks aloud, looking at the rest of them. They're all kids. Maybe Eddie isn't, but the rest of them are. And they are never, ever gonna pass for over eighteen. Jeff has braces, for fuck's sake.

"Lou said he'd look the other way as long as we don't do anything stupid. Stay away from the booze and the bar floor, and we can play on Tuesday. As a tryout, I guess," Eddie says.

His mom is never gonna go for this. Mama Jones is cool, but she's not allow her middle schooler in a bar, especially not on a weeknight, cool. Gareth damn well knows that without even asking.

Well, he was wrong and now his mom is sitting near the edge of the cobbled together stage at The Hideout. Holy shit. They're actually getting ready to do it. They're gonna play for an actual crowd. A small crowd. A very, very small crowd of about a dozen drunks that keep booing them and heckling. before they've even heard anything. This might have been a terrible idea, Gareth is pretty sure. But he'll go along with it, because Eddie wants to try this. See if they can actually play live together, outside of the garage or a school talent show. 

But getting booed? Having shit thrown at them before they've even started? Gareth's not sure he signed up for that. 

So, it's an understatement to say that Gareth's nervous, but he cracks his sticks together counting them in, and away they go. Eddie made the decision to have them play covers only, which is probably the best move they could make. These assholes are never gonna want to hear their original songs, but maybe, just maybe they'll tolerate some covers of things they already know.

The band comes in, on time, and together and that's the first hurdle to clear, honestly.

Gareth's not sure they sound good, but they don't sound terrible. They sound inexperienced and, well, scared. Even Eddie's being reserved, and if he doesn't kick it into high gear, they're gonna be run out of here, for sure. 

Someone throws a can, and Eddie ducks, which sends it straight towards Gareth. He reaches up on reflex, catches it, and throws it back, hardly missing anything.

Eddie turns to look at him, eyes wide. 

Gareth knew playing little league would come in handy someday, he just never guessed this would be the reason. 

And the crowd gets behind this act of defiance, even if Mama Jones looks mortified that her child would do such a thing. 

He just retaliated, he didn't start this shit. 

That puffs Eddie up a little bit, and he takes command of the stage in a way he hadn't yet. He's still a lanky kid, Gareth knows that, but at least he looks like they might belong on this stage, as shitty as it is.

They finish their first song, and the only positive reinforcement is from Mama Jones. She's clapping, and Gareth would be embarrassed if it wasn't so welcomed to hear at least one person enjoying themselves.

Everyone else is kind of being assholes at worst, or indifferent at best. 

They loosen up for their second and third songs, then by the time they've hit their final one, the crowd is at least refraining from hurling things at them.

Gareth supposes that's a win. 

Lou gives them the Tuesday slot, which makes Gareth wonder who the hell they had playing there before them. Because there definitely wasn't a clamoring to keep them on the stage, or get them back for another round, he's sure.

Eddie makes the deal, and then helps Gareth load his drums back into his mom's car while the rest of them pile into Eddie's van. 

When he slides into the passenger seat, his mom looks over at him.

"You were good, I'm proud of you boys," she says, and Gareth rolls his eyes, but is secretly happy with the compliment, down deep.

But, she let him do this, and he should be nicer, "Thanks for letting me do it. It was fun."

"I'll have to have a talk with Eddie, if you boys are going to do this every week. I don't know that I'll always be able to come."

"I'll be good," he says, and he means that. Eddie already treats him like a little kid, and he can't imagine that's gonna change in a bar, where he's under his care.

"You and Goodie sure sounded good together," she says, turning back on the highway.

He turns to look at her, "What?"

"You're the rhythm section, right?"

"Well, yeah. Sure."

"You worked together very well," she says, and Gareth laughs, harder than he means to, and she looks at him, questioning.

"Goodie and I never work together well," he admits, "He picks on me all the time."

"Well, you make nice music together. Maybe you'll learn to get along."

That seems unlikely. 

However, he does trust his mom's opinion on music. She gave private lessons for years. Not only piano, but other instruments, too. She's definitely where he gets his music from. Not his dad. Well, at least not that he knows of. It's not like he knows much about him.

But his mom? She's musical. She probably could have made it a career if she hadn't had him, and decided to stay in Hawkins to raise him.

"You really think so?" he asks.

"Definitely. That can't be taught, you just have to feel it together, and he got right in the pocket with you."

Maybe playing every week at The Hideout will make that flourish. Maybe they will be a real band. Holy shit.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

[ellaa-writes]

Henlo!! I just saw ur doctor/medic reader story and i feel like they would all want to hear the absolute crazy cases and gossip from reader

Im a student and i work in a large hospital/shadowing some doctors aswell and someday’s these crazy things happen randomly. In the least expected ways. From getting a sudden code stroke to seeing 🪱🪱on body parts to hospital staffs gossips in the med room. Its so random sometimes.

Imagine doctor reader casually telling the time she caught so and so cheating in an empty room in between 2 codes. And shes so chill about it like shes seen and heard enough but the Kortac officers r eating it up like listening to Nurse John’s podcasts😂

Reader: yk this reminds me of the time i did my trauma rotation in—

Konig: wait! Let me get my snacks and tea👀☕️

Hello!! Thank you <3 This is so silly I love it. Decided to have fun with it. It's kinda gross but hey that's what happens. Lol.

It's going to be a rough day, you thought. Not even 2 hours into your shift you had two concussed idiots sitting in your waiting room. This is gonna be a long one, you started at noon and won't be done till 4am the next morning.

Clutching your coffee you prayed for a miracle, an alien ship or a metor. Either one would do.

Later that evening, specifically dinner time. You were the last to arrive, having to help hold down a patient as another medic stitched up a gash on his forehead.

"I know, I know." you said as you sat you lunch down in front of your chair. Running off to grab a much needed coffee. It was your turn for the over night shift. It wasn't a bad shift, just babysitting the wounded soldiers that are currently being held. Coming back and setting yourself into your spot, digging into your food without a cause to the wind.

"You guys won't believe my day." you started off, slurping down your heart spaghetti. "Some rookies decided to play chicken and now they both have a concussion. And one probably memory loss. Couldn't even tell me his name." you shook your head, recalling the incident. "Than Hutch came in, complaining that he can feel worms crawling in him. I had to explain four times to that dense mother fucker that worms can not survive stomach acid." you stopped to take a big gulp of coffee. "But he wouldn't listen, said it wasn't in his stomach but inside his skin. Ran some blood tests and no hallucinogenic. But he could have fooled me." you didn't realise you were blabbing until you looked up from your plate to see a few of your team members surpressing their laughs.

"What?" you asked, mouth full of spaghetti. "Why don't you chew a bit more." one of them offered. Making the other laugh, "Oh fuck off." you spat. "Anyways, had to give Hutch an xray just to prove there's no damn worms in him." you explained.

"An xray? Does that-" you cut them off. "No, not at all. But it shut him up." they all bursted out laughing. "It reminds me of a patient I had back at the ER. Complaining about his ass itching. The other nurses weren't taking him seriously. Just sent him to the bathroom with some baby wipes." you stopped abruptly, this might not be a good dinner story.

"Oh come on Katze, don't get all shy on us now." König said, you didn't even notice he was there. You also didn't notice the rest of the mess hall getting quiet to listen to your story.

"Oh, well we're eating." you tried to explain but was met with loud booing. "Fine, fine." you yelled back. Wiping your mouth, your food finished, you pushed the tray away from you.

"Ok, so they sent him to the bathroom and he came back later saying he can still feel them."

"Them?" Horangi interrupted, and was followed by shushing. "Damn, sorry. Continue." he slinked back into his chair.

" So they put him in a room, told him to strip from the waist down. Another trainee and myself were assigned to this case along with a RN. She had him lay on the side has she spread his ass cheeks. Like you would a child." you stopped from dramatic affect. Watching as your tream and the rest of mess hall looked on in anticipation.

"We saw nothing. So she took a swab, had me spread this grown man's cheeks as she inserted it into the recum, shoveling out what ever was in side. Still nothing." a few people got up and left and others choking back a gag.

"She wet had him pop a squat over the trash can and cough. Sure enough a worm came shooting out. So did some green chunks, thankfully they were just some cucumbers. Guess the guy stole a cucumber from his neighbors garden not knowing it was infested with worms. He shoved the thing right up and it broke. He was like that for 2 weeks, worms up the ass. Still not the craziest thing I experienced, let me tell your that." you reached for your tray, but König took it for your instead.

"A cucumber up the ass?" Horangi asked. "I've seen people shove all sorts of thing up their butt. Idk what it is or why but it's way to common." you threw your finished coffee cup in the trash.

"Sorry I gotta get back. The results for mister chicken should be in by now." you said you goodbyes and waved to others, rushing out of the lunch hall.

"What a women." König said, hearts in his eyes.

[elekinetic]

mike,

hey asshole. maybe that's a shitty way to start a letter, sorry. i'm pretty on edge. obviously. getting stalked by a psycho maniac with powers will do that to you.

this is weird. i don't really know what to say. not exactly a letter i thought i'd ever be writing, but—despite it all—we're friends, so you deserve closure.

i don't think you and i ever really clicked. not the way i thought we might've when we met. and i get it, between will and el and everything that was happening with the mindflayer, i get why you didn't want some random girl coming in and messing everything up. i think we're the same in that way, with change. i don't like it. i can tell you don't either.

i don't know how to say this without sounding pathetic, but. hey. if you're reading this, i'm dead, so you if you think i'm lame then you're a total shithead.

i wanted you to like me. and that's so stupid because like, you're you. c'mon. but i wanted to be a part of what you had. i think it was because i was jealous of you. you had this like, perfect family with a perfect older sister and perfect friends and not in that like, superficial-high-school-way, like, actual, real friends who care about each other. and you just walked around like you didn't know how lucky you were. like, i know why now, i do. i get it. it was just so hard to watch you get everything i wanted and not even think twice about it, and then slam the door in my face every chance you got.

and calling me annoying was kind of a bitch move.

whatever.

i know this year has sucked for you too. i don't know everything about your relationship with el, and you and will are a web of shit i don't even want to try to untangle... but i know it's been hard. i'm not exactly in a position to be giving life advice (ha), but again. i'm dying, probably, so. listen up wheeler.

you have to talk to her. and shut up, i know what you're thinking. it's different. or maybe it's not, but it doesn't matter. i don't have time to fix my shit. you do, so you better fucking do it.

i know you love el. and i know i don't talk to her as much as i should, and she knows i'm sorry. (for what it's worth, i'm not gonna stop being sorry) but she deserves better than whatever bullshit is going on between the two of you right now. and you'll get through it, because you'll finally talk to her and actually say what you're thinking instead of assuming you already know how she'll react, because you don't. but someday you guys are gonna have another argument, and you're gonna fix it before it gets out of hand, do you hear me? she deserves honesty.

you have to trust her. you have to trust her. you think you're protecting her, and sometimes it works, but it's not fair. she's not someone who needs protecting or hiding or teaching. and listen to me, its not because she can do shit with her mind, okay? it's because she's her own person who is smart and capable and strong in like, a human way. you have to know that, you have to understand that.

just... understand that.

i haven't done the best job of showing it, but i do care about you. you're my friend, and i hope... i hope you're able to find happiness. like, real, lasting, forever-type shit. you deserve it. seriously.

okay. i'm running out of space and i still have like, seven letters to write. i don't know why i thought it would be a good idea to do separate notes for everyone. I should've just done one page that said "see you later, assholes." that would've been smarter. quick, sweet, to the point. i mean, i was never the writer of the group. maybe if i'd done that, you guys would just know what i needed to say. four easy words. maybe you guys would understand the shit that i can't write down.

anyway.

see you later, asshole.

— max

p.s. watch out for lucas. please.

[poppystheories]

The Lala and Gozul Containment Post:

This was admittedly the part I was looking forward to the least in my reread. Not because of anything bad, but because, well, there's a lot of foreshadowing here and lot of conclusions you can draw and a lot of them make me deeply unhappy.

Upon actually rereading, I came to several realizations that actually made me more optimistic about Allen's future haha

But lets take it from the top.

Starting off with an incredible chapter cover: Kanda and Allen, back to back, the cross inbetween them. Yes, it gives me Pillar vibes too. We're gonna ignore that for the moment because I don't have a clue how to interpret that. It could mean anything. Or nothing.

Lala and Gozul in front. The composition here definitely highlights all the Lala and Allen parallels we're going to cover below, but Gozul parallels both Allen and Kanda a bit, so he's in the middle.

Lala is very, very Allen-coded. The lie is she is a child abandoned by humans, found and kept by a malfunctioning ancient being.

The reality is Lala is not a real child, she was not abandoned by any parents, and she is created by Innocence. Likewise, Allen was also not a "real" abandoned child, but someone remade by Innocence.

Her left eye and left arm are also, well, fucked up.

She even fights the same way Allen did earlier this same arc, by using her strength to tear apart the crumbling city and throw it at her enemy:

But Gozul is also kinda Allen coded, right? In terms of role, as a disfigured human raised by malfunctioning ancient being. Gozul feels responsible for destroying Lala himself, because he loves her and doesn't want anyone else to do it if it has to happen. It's not hard to think as this as the probable end of Allen's story with the Earl.

It is also a parallel with Kanda and Alma, and how both Kanda and Alma felt like they had to be the ones to destroy each other. Someday, Alma will die in this same place.

But there's another person we're missing in this story.

Nea.

If Mana has to die, Nea wants to be the one to do it. If the original Allen was going to be erased, Nea wanted to be the one to do it. If the current Allen, all that's left of Nea's friend, has to disappear, Nea wants to be the one to do it.

The wish to "stay together forever" comes up repeatedly between various pairs of characters throughout the story, but especially Allen/Nea and Mana/Earl. It also comes up between Kanda and Alma. They all just want to be together with their loved ones until the end. This desire is without a doubt Hoshino's idea of "love".

Allen clearly sees himself in both Lala and Gozul and their ongoing tragedy. He can relate to them both, and he got to stay with Mana until what he thought was the very end, as Mana gradually slipped away.

He understands how they both were desperate for acceptance, abused by everyone they'd ever met before. How Lala was getting angrier and angrier at the world's rejection of her, just like he was as Red. How Gozul clung to the first hint kindness, just like he clung to Mana and Allen the dog.

Gozul and Lala "saved" each other and lived their lives together. Alma and Kanda got to be together, at the very end. They found their own peace together.

Notably, one of each pair did not destroy the other. Gozul did not take out Lala's heart, like he said he wanted to. Kanda thought he'd killed Alma, but it wasn't true, and in the end Alma asked Kanda to not destroy him with Innocence, but to let the Akuma-transformation kill him. Kanda agreed, and Alma crumbled to dust.

The "one destroys the other out of love" is not the conclusion reached here.

But, Allen is both sides of his own equation here. He's got a lot in common with Lala and Gozul. He's got a lot in common with Kanda and Alma. He's both Nea's Lala and Mana's Gozul.

There's also a big emphasis on Lala's heart. And this cover, with Allen placing a hand over his own heart. Later on, we'll see a very similar cover with Krory.

Yeahhhhhhh. Time will tell how that ties in to everything. Let's just keep it in mind going forward.

Lala gets reset after they retrieve her heart from the Akuma and attempt to restore her. The parallel with Mana, after being devastated by Red's Innocence, is obvious. He's no longer "Mana"—Nea already lost his chance to destroy "Mana" himself.

But this also parallels Allen becoming "Allen", no longer remembering Nea or the previous Junior, just a living puppet of the Innocence. Much like Lala was broken by the Akuma before Gozul could break her himself, the friend Nea was going to erase was erased by Apocryphos long before Nea even woke up again.

To Nea, both the Earl and Allen are broken dolls.

But, that's now how the story ends. Despite it seeming hopeless, Lala does remember who she is, in the end. Because Gozul didn't break her, at some point over the three days Allen patiently let her sing, Lala remembered herself.

The idea of managing to keep a promise at the end, despite having lost oneself, is very important here!

We haven't seen what Mana was like before he "died"; Allen's retelling of it is bleak. But I'm not so sure that's accurate. Maybe Mana regained awareness at some point of the time they spent together, maybe there's more to the story Allen doesn't know. Or maybe Mana will regain awareness, will remember who he really is, and the Earl will peacefully surrender his "heart", like Lala did, after fulfilling a promise.

As for "Allen"...

Allen is Nea's Lala, but "Allen" is Mana's Gozul. If "Allen" remembers being Allen, restores himself like Lala did, what of current "Allen"? And what will it cost? If Allen surrenders to Nea, Nea will kill someone they both love.

Kanda says that to save something, something else must be sacrificed, but what's actually established in this arc is: destroying what you love with your hands isn't the answer. Nea is wrong.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

You're French right? How about a French ask? Skeletons are eating their very first Epiphany/King cake (Galette des Rois) and skeletons find the lucky charm (la fève)! S/O claims he's now the King and gives him a paper crown! Reaction?

I have no idea if it's only a French tradition (I think in Belgium, Switzerland, Spain and Portugal too?), but in case everyone is wondering, we're celebrating the Epiphany on January 6th, and in France we eat what we call La galette des rois (King cake). Basically, it's frangipane or apple cake in which you hide a lucky charm (la fève). Whoever finds it becomes the King or the Queen for the day! If you swallow the lucky charm, you have a dare (and you probably die since lucky charms are huge nowadays lol).

Undertale Sans - Of course, he has the lucky charm because he saw it when you hid it and drew a small cross to mark the spot with a knife while it was cooking. He mainly did it to have a reaction, he's not gonna lie. Now that he is the King, he has the right to prank everyone for the entire day and no one can't say anything about it. Papyrus hates you now.

Undertale Papyrus - He's in shock? He's the King? Oh my god? He never thought he would be a King someday! He's a bit overwhelmed right now. He's going to make a twenty minutes speech as the new King of the Underground, and all of it right in front of Asgore who is not sure if he should be worry or not about this new tradition. I mean, how many King cakes are there outside? How many monsters are going to steal his throne for the day? Also he doesn't want to not be the King anymore???

Underswap Sans - He screams, ecstatic, as Honey just flops on his chair, so upset lol. Blue is running around the table with his crown above his head like he won the Football World Cup lol. He's going to brag about it for DAYS, because he's the King and you're all LOSERS.

Underswap Papyrus - Of course, he chokes on the lucky charm lol. Blue thankfully knows how to do the Heimlich maneuver and saves his life. Even if he says he didn't swallow it, you still gave him a dare and forced him to dance the Macarena for two hours. He's not sure he likes the Epiphany very much after some thinking.

Underfell Sans - He breaks the lucky charm in half because of his sharp teeth, and swallows one part. Uh... Eh, he still has half on it so good enough? You say yes. Edge says no. The brothers start arguing over if Red should or not do a dare and you quickly have to intervene before they start fighting for good. Gosh, what a bunch of idiots.

Underfell Papyrus - Of course, he has the crown, he is the superior mind in this room! He puffs his chest, so proud, and he's going to be a little shit all day long, treating you and Red like his peasants. At the end of the day, Red is so upset he suddenly snatches the crown from his head and eats it lol.

Horrortale Sans - He's a bit confused, but ok. He wondered why there was something hard in his cake, and then you just start screaming and congratulating him and he has no idea why??? He's not questioning it, simply purring happily as you decided he's the King or something. Whatever you like. If you're happy, he's happy.

Horrortale Papyrus - He won...? He's a bit unsure about why it's such a deal, but uh, he wins, so it's fine! He's wearing his crown happily, but since Oak is sad he doesn't have a crown, Willow gives him his crown to make him happy. He doesn't need to be a King, he already has all he wants.

Swapfell Sans - He looks at the crown, an eyebrow raised. What do you mean it's a crown? That? It's bullshit. A little rain and it's dead??? Clearly, humans are inferior to monsters on this. At least monsters know how to make a real crown. You tell him you can give his crown to Rus instead, he snatches it from your hands. Like hell! He's the King, not his brother! There's no way Rus has it!

Swapfell Papyrus - He's so happy he's going to twerk at Nox's face just too piss him off even more. He doesn't care, he's the King, he's invincible! It's the best day of his life! He's going to be sooooo difficult all day long, just being a little shit. He will also bring somehow twenty raccoons inside the house and exile Nox and you because they are his people and you are intruders. You swear Nox is going to kill him.

Fellswap Gold Sans - What do you mean he's the King but he's not the King for real and can't just go in the Castle and push Toriel out of her throne? You said he was the King! Make your mind already! King have a castle and it can only have one King of monsters so clearly he is legitimate to take the throne??? If you humans don't understand anything to royalty, why are you crowning random people on January??? That's crazy!

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Uuuuh... No thanks, he doesn't want to be the King. He knows everyone wants to kill the King so go to hell, he's not doing that. He throws his crown to Wine and disappears to have an anxiety attack in his room. It's too much pressure, he's going to die.

[bcolfanfic]

everytime i listen to picture me better by weyes blood i can't help but think of young vets buck and bucky. my heart hurt everytime i think of those boys. you've written them so perfectly. <3

what are some songs you associate with either of them?

heyy sorry it took me so long to get to this (and everything else in my box)- it’s finals szn at my law school and my brain is gonna be at like- total capacity till next thursday at 5pm central time. buttttt. i am big music as a story mood setter person so lotsss of thoughts. gonna focus on young vets au here, but i can make another similar post for show canon if ppl like this? im biggg into oldies music so that would actually be fun to me!

disclaimer: re: the young vets au the “veterans” part of the story takes place starting in august 2021 after the us pulled out of afghanistan. If you see a song and think “but wait that didn't come out until this year so they couldn't listen to that in 2022/2023” simply work with me here and don’t think that <3 LOL.

bucky

biggg zach bryan person and i think in general really likes that specific niche of “new age” country music. gets *irritated* by the hardcore conservative military country music lmfao, those vets that go hard in the sand for songs like courtesy of the red white and blue? not his people. that song gives him hives. also a big fleetwood mac guy, just scratches an itch on his brain. likes florence + the machine too.

east side of sorrow - zach bryan

i lost friends in the august heat / at night it was God I'd always meet / i said, "Lord, won't you bring me home? / i've got women in the west i wanna hold

oklahoma smokeshow - zach bryan

there's so much whiskey in his coke it'll make her nose bend / but she swears that his love is a damn God send / she's known God since she was a child

el dorado - zach bryan

you used to say you'd settle down / but that kind girl from school in town /she was gone before you got back home

to El Dorado, hell if I know if you're still alive /there's a note in the glovebox in your drive / El Dorado, hell if they know the difference in a hero / and a man i wish was still by my side

burn, burn, burn - zach bryan

i wanna be a child climbin' trees somewhere / breathin' in the fresh outside air / before I knew this life was unkind

you should probably leave - chris stapleton

sun on your skin, 6 am /and i been watchin' you sleep / and honey, i'm so afraid you're gonna wake up and say / that you should probably leave

me against the mountain - ian munsick

it’s me against the mountain / most days the mountain wins / but i’ll meet you tonight my love or i’ll meet my end / either way an angel’s waitin when i fought this fight

painkillers - rainbow kitten surprise

living just comes with a bit of heartache / heartache comes with a bit of young faith / faith stays young till your heart get broken / hope grows up to become someday / i never hurt no one and no one will ever hurt me / i believe i believe i believe i believe

motorcycle - colter wall

well, i figure i'll buy me a motorcycle / wrap her pretty little frame around a telephone pole / ride her off a mountain like old arlo

physco - jack kittel

don't hand me johnny's pup, mama / 'cause i might squeeze him too tight / i'm having crazy dreams again, mama

go your own way - fleetwood mac

if i could / baby, i’d give you my world / open up / everything's waiting for you

third eye - florence + the machine

i'm the same / i'm the same / i'm trying to change

astrovan - mt. joy

he said son you're famous in heaven / maybe you're famous in heaven / maybe there is no heaven / maybe we're all along together now / but i don't wanna see those tears again / you know Jesus drives an astrovan

gold dust woman - fleetwood mac

take your silver spoon, dig your grave / heartless challenge / pick your path and i'll pray

all these things that i’ve done - the killers

i got soul / but i'm not a solider

between me and you - brandon flowers

the first time that i saw your face / time stood still / i found my place / now i'm watching it tear out of my arm

gale

listens to zach bryan for bucky but his country music niche is more on the tyler childers side of things. likes older music too bc it’s what his mom would play around the house and he finds it comforting. i think he likes pop music more than bucky does lol, bucky ribs him a lil about some of it but he finds it endearing. the taste they share the most i think is the fleetwood mac and the killers/brandon flowers stuff.

follow you to virgie - tyler childers

back when all us boys were tryin' / to make sense of all these string / i can see her in the corner / singing along to all our crazy dreams

coal - tyler childers

so sometimes, i imagine that I'm getting pretty close to hell / and in my darkest hour, i cry out to the Lord / he says, "keep on a-mining, boy, 'cause that's why you were born

nose on the grindstone - tyler childers

well daddy, i've been tryin', i just can't catch a break / there's too much in this world that i can't seem to shake / but i remember your words, lord, they bring me the chills / keep your nose on the grindstone and out of the pills

folsom prison blues - johnny cash

i bet there's rich folks eatin' from a fancy dinning car /they're prob'ly drinkin' coffee and smoking big cigars / well i know i had it comin' i know i can't be free / but those people keep a movin' and that's what tortures me

old rugged cross - alan jackson (i’ve made a woowoo post about this before/bucky being gale’s cross to carry but. in my mind he listens to this on the drive home when bucky’s in the hospital. has to pull over to cry a lil. sweet boy.)

to the old rugged cross i will ever be true / it's shame and reproach gladly bear

where we’ll never grow old - johnny cash

when our work here is done / and our life's crown is won / and out troubles and trials are o'er / all our sorrows will end / and our voices will blend / with the loved ones who've gone on before

(sittin on’) the dock of the bay - otis redding

sittin' here resting my bones / and this loneliness won't leave me alone / it's two thousand miles i roamed / just to make this dock my home

wouldn’t it be nice - the beach boys

oh we could be married / and then we'd be happy / woudn't it be nice?

the chain - fleetwood mac

listen to the wind blow, down comes the night / running in the shadows / damn your love / damn your lies

romeo and juliet - the killers

i can't do the talk like the talk on the TV / and i can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be / i can't do everything but i'd do anything for you / i can't do anything except be in love with you

xo - beyonce

in the darkest night hour (in the darkest night hour) / i'll search through the crowd (i'll search through the crowd) / your face is all that i see / i'll give you everything

if i ain't got you - alicia keys

said nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing / if i ain't got you with me, baby

sweet escape - gwen stefani

come on let's bounce / counting on you to turn me around / instead of clowning around / let's look for some common ground

come on over baby - christina aguilera

now baby don't be shy / you better cross the line / i'm gonna love you right / all i want is you

the clock was tickin’ - brandon flowers

jackie flips the pages and she dreams little dreams / a cottage in the country built with real wood beams / there's a baby in the bedroom, he's starting to scream / she holds him though he probably won't remember it

[cringecompanionapologist]

So I Made Up a Needlessly Complicated Version of the Ruby's Mother Reveal

Yeah, it's been several months and I'm still frustrated and overthinking it. RTD finales have prioritized spectacle over sense before, so it's not like this is some kind of apocalyptic show-ending problem. I know the fandom treats every mistake, or thing that they personally don't like, as an apocalyptic show-ending problem, but the show just keeps on going whatever they think of it. There's gonna be more Doctor Who. We're not done yet.

But, yeah, Empire of Death was a bit of a mess. Specifically, the reveal of Ruby's mother was poorly done. The fact that she's just some normal woman is actually pretty good in theory. The problem is mainly in the way it's set up.

(This is gonna be long)

When I was The Church on Ruby Road when it aired, despite all the emphasis put on it, I assumed Ruby's mom was just some ordinary woman giving up her baby for ordinary reasons. Everyone was guessing the name of every female character in the history of the franchise and I was thinking, "Guy's, it's probably no one. We might meet her someday and do an emotional thing about it, but this is gonna be a Rose's dad situation where we meet the parent the character never met to find out that they're just a normal, average person. No big deal."

I thought the "Ruby is adopted and doesn't know who her biological parents are" thing was mainly a way to have the new companion bond with the Doctor. He hears about Ruby's situation and he realizes that he also doesn't know who his biological family is, and that maybe it's not really important to the person he became, but it's a part of his life, some small part of who he is, and he's curious. Since RTD's not just gonna retcon the Timeless Child, this would be a good way to handle it. Whatever the hell it does to the lore of the show, a character's backstory only matters in how it shapes who they are in the present. If a character learns something new about their past, you can ignore a lot of the implications of what this means for The Lore, if it leads to something interesting with the character.

(I suppose we're doing a little tangent about the Timeless Child now)

The biggest problem with the Timeless Child was that it both changed everything and changed nothing. Seeing the Fugitive Doctor, a Pre-Hartnell Doctor, travel in a TARDIS shaped like a police box, sometimes with companions, mostly acting just like a new series Doctor has a negative effect on the Hartnell Era. Apparently One's arc was becoming who he already was anyway.

But, let's say you're a more casual fan. You haven't seen the classic series. You don't know anything about the Hartnell Era. Maybe you started watching the show in Series 11. If you don't know All the Lore, then it doesn't matter how the show in 2020 fucks up what the show was in 1964. What matters is how this will effect the characters in the show as it is in 2020 moving forward.

And it really doesn't. The Doctor freaks out, because she has this past that she didn't know about, and then she admits that she never let where she came from define her before, so it doesn't have to matter. The only reason the Doctor has a Big Dramatic Reaction, as far as the audience can tell, is because there was a Big Dramatic Reveal, so it has to have a Big Dramatic Reaction.

So, when it comes to the show's past, the Timeless Child changes too much, but when it comes to the show's present, it doesn't really change anything, so depending on your relationship with the show, it's either a major insult to the Hartnell Era and the First Doctor's character arc, or it's just a lame twist that didn't go anywhere.

RTD fixed the second part, the part that effects the show in the present, in The Church on Ruby Road. He had the Doctor realize, through meeting Ruby, that he was basically adopted and, even if it doesn't really matter to who he is now, he still feels like he needs to know. Now the importance of the twist isn't based in the lore, but in the character, which gives you a reason to give a shit. It feels like this might go somewhere.

But then Space Babies aired. We have the strange, magic snow. The Doctor's memory of being at the church and seeing Ruby's mother changed, so now she's pointing ominously, when she wasn't before. The events of the night are apparently being rewritten in memory. So, it became clear that who Ruby's mom was was going to actually be important to the season's plot, not just as a character thing.

Then The Devil's Chord doubles down on this, having A LITERAL GOD be freaked out by the fact that The One Who Waits was apparently there when Ruby was born. So, yeah, Ruby's mom has to be important. Even if her mom wasn't important, her birth apparently was, since a powerful being that scares A LITERAL GOD found it important to show up.

Then the season ends and we get the twist that Ruby's mom was completely ordinary and she was only special because everyone thought she was. But why did everything think she was special? Because the show made it perfectly clear that she was! You've got magic snow, changing memories, all technology seeming to glitch around the incident. This isn't just a case of "she's the main character so she's gotta be special". We only thought who Ruby's mom was was important because we were repeatedly told that it was. So, it feels like the audience is being told they were foolish for listening, paying attention, basically doing what they were told to do.

I've tried to figure out all the supernatural stuff about the reveal, how it might all go back to Sutekh, but that doesn't make sense either. If Sutekh's been clinging to the TARDIS since The Pyramids of Mars, then he's been a lot of places and it didn't have these results. This isn't the first mystery the TARDIS has landed in the middle of either. Why was Ruby's mom worth all this, but not the cracks in time, or where all those different Claras came from?

Also, why does the GOD OF DEATH give a shit who anyone's mom is if he's just gonna kill them all anyway? Why is the GOD OF DEATH so invested in the details of one random person's life?

But, I like the idea of Ruby being ordinary. That's what most companions are, especially in the new series. They're normal people who end up in extraordinary situations and, because of that, end up doing extraordinary things. They aren't special because of who they are or where they came from, but because of what they do. That was the twist with Clara in series 7. There was nothing extraordinary about her before she met the Doctor, but she became extraordinary, showing up all over time and space, because she met the Doctor. I don't even like series 7 but it pulled off the "companion is just a regular person" twist better than Season/Series 1/14/40 did.

So, Ruby should be ordinary, but the season doesn't set it up properly. So, I thought of a way that the extraordinary set up could be used for the ordinary reveal, by basically having the ordinary inside the extraordinary. He's the way that I, some random person on the internet, but make this work:

So, I'm not even sure this works with Sutekh as the antagonist, but it works with Some Kind of Evil God Thing. Honestly, Sutekh in Empire of Death is more Some Kind of Evil God Thing, than the Specific Evil God Thing in Pyramids of Mars, so maybe this is fine.

Anyway, The One Who Waits has been waiting in The Void, or The Shadows, watching the Doctor, Waiting for...him to meet Ruby. Because Ruby was meant to be a trap. She's deliberately similar to Rose, who's basically the template for the new series companion. Ruby is 19 years old, blond, and has a four letter name that starts with R and refers to a shade of red. She practically has an IDEAL COMPANION sign floating over her head.

If there's too things the Doctor can't resist it's people who remind him of Rose, and mysteries. Clara became a companion because there was a mystery around her that got the Doctor's attention. So, we have a combination of Rose and Clara and a Big Damn Mystery for the Doctor to solve, with her backstory of being adopted giving her an even stronger emotional connection to the Doctor. There's no way she won't become a companion and there's no way the Doctor won't want to solve the mystery around her.

Ruby being abandoned on the doorstep of a church, though it is something that probably happens sometimes, looks like something out of a movie. It looks like how Ruby might imagine it, shrouded in mystery of a cloaked woman, surrounded by the beautiful but haunted Carol of the Bells and falling snow, all happening on a major holiday to drawn even more attention to it.

This whole scene was arranged by The One Who Waits (whoever that is, Sutekh or not. We'll just go with The One Who Waits for now). The One Who Waits is a god, sort of warping reality to create this big dramatic story.

So, Doctor meets Ruby and they go on adventures. The appearance of the various Susans creates another mystery to attract the Doctor's attention. Everywhere he goes with Ruby, a Susan appears. The One Who Waits has just created a bunch of copies of an original Susan and as his creations, he can control them and they do his bidding, even though they also can have lives and identities of their own.

The thing is, the Susans don't show up wherever the Doctor goes. If this had been happening since his 4th incarnation, he probably would've noticed that before hitting the 15th, especially since it only took a few months for the Doctor to notice it after Ruby showed up. The Susans show up wherever Ruby goes. Now that she's the Doctor's companion, the Susans are being scattered everywhere.

So, the Doctor is trying to figure out The Mystery of Ruby's Mom and The Mystery of the Susans at the same time. When they get things set up at UNIT and see Ruby's mom's face...It's another Susan. This only motivates the Doctor to investigate those further, eventually leading him to the right place at the write time for The One Who Waits to reveal himself.

But, no, Susan isn't Ruby's mom. The mysterious woman who placed Ruby on the steps of the church is a Susan, but not Ruby's mom. We get a sort of flashback revealing that Ruby's mom is...the same women she is in Empire of Death. But, she doesn't leave Ruby at the church. She puts her up for adoption, possibly at an agency, and the Susan either works at the agency or adopts Ruby and leaves her at the church in a staged dramatic scene. The One Who Waits basically waited for a baby to born and given up for adoption under the right circumstances.

The One Who Waits, being a God, had no problem erasing all records and memories of baby Ruby prior to the church. He could also fuck around and make DNA samples not lead to anything. He had to make sure Ruby couldn't solve the mystery on her own and he's a god, so he can kind of do whatever he wants to achieve that.

So, it turns out Ruby was an ordinary human with an ordinary mother who put her up for adoption for ordinary reasons, but she just happened to be someone the Doctor's enemies could use as part of a trap. The One Who Waits, being a god, makes the magic happen. The snow, the changing memories, all this god fucking with everyone. Ruby became extraordinary because she was basically selected at random for happening to fit a set of criteria. And we get an exchange that's sorta like:

Ruby: All this trouble for someone who wasn't special.

Doctor: Of course she's special! She's your mum! Everyone's special to someone.

Or something like that. I dunno. I'm just writing AU fanfiction at this point.

[goatcheesecak3]

Adam's diary

Adolescent Adam stanheight x adolescent Scott tibbs (platonic)

Fic type: diary entry, angst

Warnings: domestic abuse, underage drinking

Summary: a diary entry written by adolescent Adam Stanheight, detailing the weekend he spent with his best friend, Scott Tibbs

A/n: absolutely no one asked for this but it came to me like a prophetic vision, and I live for rustynail angst

Scott just left. He stays here sometimes when his mom's boyfriend gets mad, and I stay with him when my dad drinks. Scott says I'm lucky to have a real dad, but I disagree. At least Scott only gets hit by some chump who's banging his mom,  I think it's way worse when the beating comes from someone who's meant to love you. But that's whatever, because someday me and Scott are gonna be famous!! He's gonna be in a band, and I'm gonna do all their artwork and be their personal photographer. We'll be rich and we'll never speak to our families again.

Well, maybe I'll speak to mom. She's nice to me for the most part, she even hid enough money from dad to buy me this awesome camera for Christmas last year. I'm not allowed to use it when dad's around though, he can't know mom spent that much money on me. He doesn't have a clue where that money really went, he still thinks mom got robbed by one of the baseheads in our neighbourhood LOL!

I'd like to get rich enough to buy mom a house and take her away from dad, but even if I could afford it someday I don't think she'd go. She's scared of him, but she says she loves him and that she won't leave. It sucks because part of me wants to protect her, but the other part of me is really pissed that she doesn't protect me. I've gotten into fights with that asshole plenty of times, just to make sure he doesn't hurt her, but she's happy to sit back and watch him kick my ass.

Anyways, back to me and Scott. Scott stole some spray paint from his older brother, so this weekend we went and painted a mural on the old bridge downtown. You're not really allowed to get onto the bridge since it isn't used anymore, but me and Scott aren't scared of a little climbing LOL!!

I painted this cool design of a pole with skulls stuck to it, Scott says he wants to use it as an album cover for his band someday, which I think is pretty cool. After that we went to the corner store and brought some 40s to drink. The guy at the store is so old he thinks we're 21! Scott says one day we should try and walk out without paying, but I don't want to push our luck, plus, the guy seems nice, even if he isn't really all there.

There's a big football game on next weekend, so I'll probably stay at Scott's House, because dad will probably be drinking. We're gonna go back to the mural and add some finishing touches, and I'll bring my camera to get some cool shots of us in front of our masterpiece.

Life is better since I've found ways to avoid my dad. Anyways, that's all for now. I'm going to bed.

[hongtiddiez]

last twilight e3 thoughts feelings etc

so in the past ive watched the episodes and digested them and come back and rewatched to put together my thoughts but im kinda crunched for time today and have a mountain of work to do sooo i'm just gonna do this in one sitting and i'm so sorry if it's not as good or as coherent as what i usually deliver aaa. it's also going to be a bit longer than normal probably but i'll try to cut down on stuff that seems unnecessary or maybe just too obvious to comment on.

OH ITS STILL REALLY LONG EVEN WITH EDITING I'M SO SORRY.

oh them being playful with each other is everything to me. oh my god and Mhok learned, he listened to Porjai and he learned to organize and clean and do things with Day as an active participant so he knows where everything is and is taking control of his own life. oh we're only 3 minutes in and i'm emotional, okay.

i do love that we get to see the way Day has isolated himself and that while his family haven't helped there's also a large part of it that is his doing. ive said it before but when you're newly disabled it can be so so easy to isolate yourself. hell, i've been diagnosed for almost 10 years and i still do it from time to time as my condition worsens because it's hard. there are so many questions you have to answer, there's the anxiety of not knowing if people are going to be accommodating to your needs, and sometimes it takes twice or even three times the energy it used to take before because every action is a little harder now. it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again and you will lose friends in the process. there will be people that don't understand, that find you to be an inconvenience, that won't make accommodations for you, and it will hurt every time but saying goodbye to those people is always ultimately for the better - but it doesn't make it hurt less. as much as i'd love the realism of it, i hope we don't have to see Day go through that.

Day's story about his friend is interesting, too. he says he doesn't want to be pitied by his friends but the thing is. they just did that, they accommodated their friend, and from the sound of it they did it without judgement. so why couldn't it be the same for him? it just shows more of his anxiety and his fear.

"i felt like my life was worthless. all i saw in people's eyes was insult."

screaming. crying. throwing up. i don't need to say anything about this but i thought you all should know it made me ill.

"once i'm ready you'll be the first to get my invitation card." Porjai and Mhok's friendship means so so fucking much to me.

here's the thing, my best friend and i dated in high school, we were 16 and fucking stupid and toxic and our home lives were shit and we took it out on each other and we made each other fucking miserable by the end of things. we didn't talk again for over five years. it took time to come back together, to heal and accept our own faults in what went wrong. we stumbled here and there as we came back together but now? almost 10 years later i don't know what i'd do without him. that's my platonic soulmate, that's the one person besides my husband i can share anything with. fuck, he knows more about my life than my husband does because he was there to see me at my worst, at the scariest point in my life where i almost wasn't around anymore to see tomorrow. that kind of friendship is so fucking special, i cannot even properly put it into words, and for Mhok to keep that? to have that with Porjai? i'm so fucking glad he has that. i'm so glad he got to keep his platonic soulmate.

small aside, i love that Mhok consistently announces himself to Day. it's a little action but it's so considerate. he's honestly doing such an incredible job.

Day puts his sunglasses on like armor; like they can shield him from the judging stares or looks of pity he can't see. maybe someday he won't need them, not because his heart has hardened to take the blows, but maybe because he knows Mhok is by his side. because remember - it's the way they look at us.

"i heard you wanted to take time off and focus on badminton" Night i'm going to drown you in your own toilet. this is just furthering my thoughts from episode 2 that Night is ashamed of his brother and his condition, or perhaps that the family is trying to hide his condition for some fucking stupid reason.

the bravery it took Day to come here and admit whats happening to his is huge, but i'm also in love with the admissions admin saying sure, you can have time off, but you're not allowed to quit. you're not allowed to give up on yourself.

"we must live with hope, Day" and that's it. you have to. you just have to. every day is going to be so hard and so much, you'll have good and bad days, but at least in all those days you'll have hope. and maybe someday that hope won't be for new eyes. maybe that hope will turn into acceptance, into determination, into pride at what you've accomplished in spite of it all. in my opinion, hope is an amazing fuel but it's not sustainable, it's just a vehicle to get you to where you need to be.

Mhok asking a blind man for a tour, oh fuck fuck fuckfuckufkcufk-- Mhok essentially saying show me your world exactly as you remember it, let me in. see how things have changed and how they've remained the same and do it with me by your side.

THE WAY MHOK SHIELDS HIM AT THE LIBRARY. DAY DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR HIS SUNGLASSES LIKE ARMOR BECAUSE MHOK IS BY HIS SIDE AS HIS SHIELD. chewing my own arm off brb.

"and you also have me. nothing to be afraid of" because i will always shield you, i will always protect you, i will stand by your side AAAA--

on part 3/4 now, i promise i'll shut the fuck up soon. if you've read this far pls take this as a smooch checkpoint, i'm giving you a little forehead smooch. have you had any water today? taken your meds? relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw.

ok back to it - Mhok continuously having Day make his own selections in these various machines. Day's fate is in his hands, he can do these things himself, but Mhok will be there with him the whole way.

"my eyes don't work well but my legs do just fine." this is such a massive leap from the man that wouldn't even leave his bedroom, from the man that was suffocating in his environment. Day is no longer a dying man, a shambling corpse. he is an active participant in his own life again.

"stay close to me, that's all i need" bitch i'm gonna throw up, you can't just hit me with that after that's all i've been saying this whole time what the fuck.

OH FUCK ME. okay. alright. hang on. so when they enter the shop Mhok describes it to Day, explains where the jeans are, where the shirts are, asks him what to do and what he wants to take a look at. this is a direct antithesis of Night in episode 1 asking where Day was going to wait for him, where he could leave him so he could get his shit done. Day isn't being asked to wait, to just sit idle while life passes him by, he's being asked what he wants to do, where he wants to go, what he wants to see. FUUUUUCK. and knowing Mhok is doing this because Day expressed that he liked dressing nicely? how the fuck am i supposed to just go to my job like a normal person after this episode.

wow the shirt buttoning scene just made me so mentally ill. right now, Mhok is doing his job. he's helping Day get dressed. but someday? someday this could be Mhok dressing Day not because he needs him to help but simply because Mhok likes doing to for Day. there's the sensuality of caring for your partner, of running your hands over the planes of their shoulders, of skimming your fingers down their chest to pluck every button. it's an exploration and a declaration of love. if we get this again in a future scene and it's something like that please remember me fondly because i will perish.

at the bookstore Mhok recognizing Day doesn't want to wait, but Day has become so accustomed to the other people in his life telling him what to do that he falls back into that behavior - but Mhok doesn't let him. he prioritizes Day's needs and desires, even if it's something as little as finding a book, without being asked.

THE LAST PAGE IS MISSING.

(because one can't see his future and the other can't see in the future, but also because they'll make their own ending, they'll face that when they get there, but they'll do it together -- what if i lost my shit completely of it?)

when Mhok leaves Day to get him a drink the camera is focused on Day and the clear warring emotions on his face but if you look in the background Mhok hesitates, he stops and turns a few times to look at day. he's reluctant to leave him and worried. Mhok worries so much but it's always so understated or in the background, covered by the emotions of others he values above himself. (or overlooked because of 'what type of person he is')

while its anxiety inducing i do enjoy this regression of behavior because adapting to a new life is hard. you will regress, you will stumble, you will fall into old habits or sometimes old fears will return. its what you do after that that is important. the one thing i hope doesn't happen is i hope this doesn't cause a rift with Porjai. i think Mhok needs her right now, maybe not forever, but definitely right now.

HE PUT ON THE FUCKING SHIRT. THE FUCKING SHIRT DAY COULD SEE FROM MARS. OH MY GOD. i know this doesn't need to be commented on, i know it's obvious, but FUUUUCK.

Day's mom trying to weaponize Mhok's past and Mhok taking the ammunition from her hands and telling Day himself. the acceptance of the past and the determination to move on and grow from it. Day's refusal to let the past repeat itself with a new caretaker. whoo boy.

and again Day wants to see Mhok, because even bruised and battered Mhok is worth seeing.

if the last episode ends with "sweet dreams/good night" i will be burying myself alive, thanks.

THE PINK SHIRT RUINING HIS BAD BOY IMAGE BECAUSE IT IS BEING RUINED. HE'S MOVING ON, HE'S GROWING, HE'S BECOMING A NEW PERSON. FUCK OFF.

i'm so so sorry this was so long, every episode makes me feel more and more things and makes me analyze shit more and more.

tagging @benkaaoi and @callipigio as requested (if you want to be added to my last twilight meta tag list just let me know!)

[short-wooloo]

I've seen a lot of people complaining about how ahsoka hasn't acknowledged stiff from the thrawn books, y'know the chiss, eli the space fascist, arlani (is that her name? Eh, I don't care), grysk...

But like...

Y'all, they were never going to appear or be mentioned, they have nothing to do with the current situation

1. We're not in chiss space, we're in a new part of the universe altogether, there is no reason for them to be here, they're irrelevant

2. This is not the thrawn story, this is the story (regardless of execution) of Ezra, Ahsoka, and the Rebels characters, the quest to return home, and to stop the return of a fascist regime

Moreover, those characters/ideas were never going to be in this, they're eu stuff, not high canon

Look, the fact is that the eu is not canon to the movies and shows, never was, those things can only be true canon if they get mentioned or appear in a movie/show, if not it does not exist, the movies and shows are canon to the eu, but not the other way around, at best the eu is loose canon to the movies and shows, but when there's contradiction, the movies and shows win out as higher canon

And that brings me to something else

Y'all need to make peace with the fact that those thrawn books are gonna be decanonized

Because someday there will probably be a thrawn origin show, and as we mentioned, a show is higher canon than eu

[fullstcp]

'Quitter' by Katelyn Tarver Sentence Prompts

QUITTER

"I used to make you proud."

"It used to take a lot to get me out of line."

"It's kinda nice to be a quitter."

"Looking back I only lost what I didn't need."

"I'm just done with feeling bad all the time."

"Don't go too far. Don't lose your way."

"It felt right at the time."

"Chasing history was killing me."

WHAT MAKES A LIFE GOOD?

"But I'm not done growing up."

"What makes a life good?"

"If you know, can you tell me?"

"I hope someday I'll know."

STARTING TO SCARE ME

"I throw gas on the fire 'cause I don't wanna change."

"I just keep choosing the pain."

"And I know I know better but I'm stubborn as shit."

"Have I lost my mind?"

"I'm still me but barely."

"I'm self destructive, I wish I wasn't."

"'Cause feeling something's better than nothing. Even if it kills me."

IGNORANCE IS BLISS

"What if everything I used to believe in was all for nothing?"

"What if one day you wake up and tell me that you don't love me?"

"I guess ignorance is bliss, but it's also a bitch."

"We're all gonna die. And everyone seems fine."

"Am I the only one obsessed with making it all make sense?"

"I'm not trying to kill the buzz."

"I can't tell who I am from who I was."

PARALLEL UNIVERSE

"Is there a version of me who did things differently?"

"Did you get rich and famous from that part that I turned down?"

"Does it all mean anything?"

"Did you find a man/woman/person who loves you half as good as mine loves me?"

"Did you find a way to let go of all the pain you don't deserve?"

JAPANESE CAFE

"Will you still love me if my luck runs out?"

"I've been so focused on making it worth it."

"But maybe they ended up happy and they'd look at me and feel bad."

CINEMATIC

"What's one more if we're already drinking?"

"I get so sentimental over small things."

"What's the point of all this living if you can't go back and grab it?"

"It was my favorite; you just don't get it."

REVISIONIST HISTORY

"Do you like knowing that I hurt?"

"Do you hope you're making it worse?"

"Is there a part of you that likes going in and twisting the knife?"

"I hear you're lying about me."

"Are you afraid of the truth coming out?"

"There's something wrong with your memory."

"You're living a revisionist history."

"I'd love to live without the scars that you gave me."

"But you're not something I can change."

JUST A PERSON

"And I know, I know, I'm not forgiven."

"If it was me in your position I would probably feel the same."

"But eventually I gotta think of me."

"I get in the habit of punishing myself."

"It's like I'm addicted to making my own hell."

"I'm letting it go even if you don't."

FRIEND LIKE YOU

"The little things and the people you're with end up saving your life."

"I just needed a friend like you."

"It's kinda underrated, finding people you can trust."

"Without you I might die."

ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER

"Pack up all your stuff."

"Put the pain aside."

"I've been the bad guy and I've been the sunshine."

"I'm the only one who can really set me free."

"I had it mapped out but life pulled the rug out."

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Wolves And A Door"/"A World Between Worlds"

Things get Force Weird as we approach the final stretch.

Live reaction version.

Right so I'm probably going to be cannibalizing some of my "Ezra Bridger as a thematic Chosen One in Star Wars Rebels and the messianic imagery of “A World Between Worlds”" essay because even though I still want to make that its own separate post someday, there's going to be things about these two episodes that I have to bring up and observations that will crossover with that essay when and if that finally gets finished.

I'm going to try to be very sparing with the caps too, because I've got two whole episodes to cover and ghksajhfkjahkjh there's way too much pretty to show off, I honestly don't know how I'm gonna do it guys.

I love that after the somber musical fog they put us through last episode they start us off with bouncy plinky pizzicato strings and Loth-cat cuteness. They were like, "Hey, we know things have been heavy lately and they're gonna be again, but in the meantime have kitties sitting on top of doggos and feel for a moment reassured that there is still goodness in the world."

Zeb's skepticism re. the wolves is a little silly given that they've already shown that they're intelligent sentient creatures.

Ezra's already showing signs of the serenity and dignity he takes on as de facto leader of the Lothal rebels. Hera actually kind of cedes that role to him, and Ryder has certainly already taken several steps back out of cynicism.

So it falls to Ezra to lead them, to plan out their attack strategies, to be their head.

He's matured so much I'm so proud of him.

The wolves are deeply connected to the Force, and to Lothal. Ezra is too. In a way, he's of their kind. And after accepting his task from them last episode they consider him officially part of the pack it seems, because they readily come to his call.

Ezra's unique ability to connect, once again an invaluable asset.

Subtle animation appreciation moment: The tufts of grass that wobble as the wolves walk through them.

Ezra's favor with the wolves extends to the others, so they are all able to climb on board and hitch a Force-assisted ride back to the northern hemisphere where the Temple is.

Love this sequence. The pounding drums. The sound design. The slow phasing of the wolves into the ground and disappearing soundlessly into it, with just a whisper of wind in their wake.

I can't get over how the Loth-wolf visions keep going back to Kanan's "You want a ride?". Filoni has mentioned that Ezra's tuned into the "echoes" that are particularly relevant to him while inside the WBW and I guess the same must apply to the hyperspace wolves tunnels. It's fascinating, we've always taken hyperspace for granted but since it's part of the galaxy, it has to be part of the Force as well, so it makes perfect sense in a way that ancient Force guardians like the Loth-wolves, or creatures just intimately connected with the Force like the purrgil, can make their own hyperspace tunnels naturally, in order to pass through time and space.

"It surrounds us, it penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together."

Something I really love about the whole concept of the World Between Worlds is the idea that we're getting a rare glimpse at the inner structure of the Force itself, the tendons and strings connecting it together.

Anyway, sob with me about how the echoes end with Ezra's "There's just you and me." from "Siege of Lothal". It was just them, two flickering twin moons against the blackest night, holding back the darkness until sunrise.

And now it's just Ezra alone.

What I wouldn't give to know what they're talking about.

Frick his whole bearing is different. He's quieter, more somber. We blinked and he grew up, aged five years in a night.

We reach the Temple and it's as bad as we've feared, the Empire has set up all around it and the area bristles with lights and equipment. They've burrowed down to the foundations of the Temple, trying to pull up its secrets by the root, and they've wholecloth removed the familiar doors from it, leaving a gaping surface level hole.

The Temple itself has sealed itself tight, barring entry to the interlopers, and I LOVE the thematic fairy tale underpinnings of this.

There's a line in The Magician's Nephew, one of the Chronicles of Narnia and another strong influence on the show's writing and concepts, that goes like: "Come in by the gold gates or not at all, Take of my fruit for others or forbear, For those who steal or those who climb my wall, Shall find their heart’s desire and find despair."

This is another overarching myth archetype: Only The Worthy May Pass.

If your heart is true, and you ask permission, show the Threshold Guardian respect, walk humbly and seek the boon for others, it will be granted to you freely. But if you're selfish, if you lie and cheat and steal and trick your way in, brute force what you want and are arrogant, demanding the prize, you will receive your just reward. And you won't like it.

Think of the last Indiana Jones movie. Indiana Jones is the one that takes all the risk, makes the leap of faith to save his father, and is granted permission to use the Grail's healing powers. The Nazi-aligned academic rival who barged in with tanks and guns and wants to live forever using the Grail's powers, however?

Indiana Jones vibes are aaaaaaaallll over these whole two episodes by the way. The whole general feel of an archaeological adventure with an unexpected encounter with the divine, it's great.

I still think it's immensely clever that they used the recording of Thrawn to distract the Scout Troopers. Still hilariously convenient that one of them is female.

Even the music gets Indiana Jones-esque when Ezra and Sabine make it down into the hollow.

Hi Hydan!

I love him. He's such a good oneshot villain. Cordial and affably polite and yet my skin crawls whenever he threatens either Sabine or Ezra. He's another Thrawn archetype/parallel, he studies the mysteries of the Force in the hopes of understanding them, not for himself, but to grow the power of his Emperor. He plunders the wealth of the Lothal Temple not out of respect for it, but to dissect it for knowledge and power.

An absolutely seamless Mind Trick from Ezra here. So proud of him.

The matching "Oh crap!" expressions on their faces when they realize that's Emperor Freaking Palpatine on the other end of the line.

The Mortis arc is actually one of the few TCW arcs I watched in full. Sue me I love me some Force Weirdness. So it was quite a delight to see the Mortis gods returning as artistic archetypal representations of the aspects of the Force. The Light, the Dark, the Unifying/Cosmic Balance. (Even the Living Force is represented in the mural by the Loth-wolves.) Since we're exploring the very inner scaffolding of the Force itself these episodes, it made perfect sense to me to bring them back, and tie them into how the Lothal Temple operates.

Unsurprisingly the Emperor's leitmotif makes an appearance here. Palpatine already has extraordinary clairvoyent powers but they've become confused after Kanan's sacrifice. Kanan has altered the fate of Lothal somehow, and even Palpatine can't figure out why.

(Pssst, it's because the Force is actually working against you buddy, it's trying to restore proper balance.)

This moment was very mean and hurted in all the right ways.

"They'll be fine." "I used to always believe that." This hits right in the parental bone, ouch.

Harps and female vocals once again signifying the arcane mysteries of the Force.

And this is gorgeous.

Ezra and Sabine begin to puzzle out the meaning behind the mural, Ezra only able to identify the Loth-wolves and the green convor that liked to follow Ahsoka around. (We've still not been given an explanation for that one yet. The prevailing theory is that it's what left of the Daughter, acting as a spirit guide/guardian for Ahsoka.)

The golden pathways correspond to the paths and doorways inside the World Between Worlds and when they're aligned on the mural, the wolves awaken to form the portal that grants access. Only one who can channel the Light Side is able to unlock the mechanism to align the pathways, via connecting to the Daughter part of the mural.

This is one of the reasons why Palpatine needed to cheat to get inside. The other reason is that, per word of Filoni, the World Between Worlds is actually a bit choosy about who it lets inside.

Again, Only The Worthy May Pass. Ezra is connected to the Force and to Lothal, a native son of the planet, a Jedi, and he has the wolves' favor, so he is granted access.

Like Maul back on Malachor, Palpatine cannot open the door on his own.

Sabine does a pretty good job bluffing the Troopers that come to investigate her presence by the mural, buying Ezra enough time to connect to the Daughter and open the portal.

Ezra remembering Kanan's last words to him, the reminder to listen.

Rebels animation is gorgeous, I will hear no slander.

And this technique they developed to animate 2D images on top of a 3D CGI environmental surface was probably the same technology they used for mini Maui in Moana. Put to absolutely beautiful use, there's zero weird blending or edging at all, it just looks fully integrated and a natural part of the image.

Now, obviously the mural wolves need a clear space in order to form the portal but I also think they were drawing Ezra far enough away from the Stormtroopers that they wouldn't get to him in time. So that they couldn't stop him.

I'm actually reminded of a scene in Avatar: The Last Airbender (which Filoni also worked on), where Aang manages to slip in last minute through the giant door into the inner shrine that could only be opened by several Fire Sages working in tandem, and the way Roku--the previous Avatar before Aang, and a Firebender himself--seals the door behind Aang, so that even the Sages can't open the door anymore.

Ezra has a meeting with the Divine, and the Empire is not invited.

The score going full blast Indiana Jones mysticism, love it.

Like Thrawn, Hydan clocks Sabine as someone who doesn't belong there immediately, recognizing her from the incident before. The dig site is put on full alert and Troopers close in on Ezra, who's paralyzed for a moment, nervous to enter the portal.

Sabine yells for him to go.

And with determination and purpose, he does.

And the portal seals behind him.

Sabine's worry and fear. <3 Even though she told him to go, watching him literally disappear into a wall has to be frightening.

AND NOW FOR THE EXTRA FORCE WEIRD PART. :D

The World Between Worlds is a place where time and space have no meaning, because all time is present at once. Past, present, and future is all happening simultaneously inside the starvoid, which pulses with the whispers of those who have come before, and those who are yet to come. It's a liminal space, a space of transition, an "in-between" that is neither here nor there. @seleneisrising has an excellent series of posts comparing it to the Wood Between The Worlds, again from The Magician's Nephew, a seemingly endless wood with countless pools that represent different worlds one can enter and exit, if one has the proper travel implements (green and gold rings, in this case).

It is not time travel. Filoni and other writers make it very clear that you cannot, SHOULD NOT, actually use it for that purpose, because if you take something out of its proper time and space, things could go very very badly, and you could create a paradox that destroys time.

Ezra doesn't know this when he winds up pulling Ahsoka out of Malachor, but Ahsoka suspects--since she's been in this kind of Force Weird situation before--so that why she's immediately all, "Okay you have to put me exactly back where you found me." and declines to come with Ezra out his portal.

And that's also why Ezra can't save Kanan.

More on that later.

Our first series of echoes is about the Force, in general, and specific quotes apply to Ezra in particular, for the character journey he's going to complete inside this liminal space.

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." "What you need you already have. Unfortunately, you seem to be letting it all go." "I won't let him lose his way. Not like I did."

The World Between Worlds is already warning him of the temptation that Palpatine will offer, first with Kanan, and then with his parents. Palpatine will dangle the idea of undoing his loss, reversing and cheating death, the same thing he offered Anakin, if he would only just lend Palpatine a little of his power, just a small favor, just open this door for me good lad, don't you want this?

It's a trap. A trick. A lie. There is no reversing death.

You cannot go back down into Hades.

The Force theme permeates this space, floating above our heads with the stars in the vast empty void. Obi-Wan pipes in, via voiceover, to explain what we're seeing, in essence, the very scaffolding and inner workings of the Force.

Meanwhile outside, the troopers are not gentle with Sabine. Hydan tries to make nice and she sasses him to hell and back, refusing to cooperate.

Sabine trying not to let her worry for Ezra show, when Hydan threatens that the Emperor will find him inside the World Between Worlds. <3

Vocal cameos from across the Star Wars canon as Ezra crosses the World Between Worlds. I know someone has identified all of them but I don't have the list at hand. Most of them aren't relevant to Ezra in any case.

Morai appears though, to help guide Ezra to the Malachor portal. I know it was suggested that Kanan helped orchestrate Ahsoka's rescue from beyond the grave, as some kind of "unfinished business" Kanan had yet to do before he fully pass on. Some people were confused why Kanan would want to do that, he was never particularly close to Ahsoka nor was he particularly as devastated by her apparent death. Not like Ezra.

I can accept that logic from the writers though, if it's Kanan trying to help Ezra finally assuage his guilt over Malachor, give him a chance to make things better. And give Ezra a Force Sensitive ally to help find him after everything is said and done.

Kanan knew he was going to die. Knew he couldn't be there for Ezra. So he arranged a way for there to be someone to look for and after Ezra after he was gone. He knew they would need Ahsoka's help.

My thoughts, anyway.

Ezra's quiet horror when the portal activates and shows him the tail end of the Malachor confrontation. :(

It is hilarious to think about how this must look to Vader and Ahsoka. On Vader's end he's swinging down and all of a sudden a hand comes out of a shimmering patch of air and just yoinks Ahsoka away into thin air and then the floor collapses under him and he just had to go back to Palpatine and explain all of that or else pretend that didn't happen, lol.

And then Ahsoka had to wake up in a weird place after fighting Vader and unpacking all of that My Master Is Evil trauma and then see an older Ezra in Stormtrooper armor, learn that Kanan was dead, help Ezra not break the universe, fight an apparition of the Emperor, and then run back to Malachor so she wouldn't break the universe either. Girl needs a damn nap after all that ha ha.

Sabine continuing to be super uncooperative with Hydan. He eventually loses patience and lets the Death Troopers smack her a bit. She's not badly hurt but the point comes across; she needs to play nice or else.

Ahsoka looks SO confused lol.

Vader echoes sound in the background, these ones attuned to Ahsoka, responding to the revelations she has just had about Vader's true identity. As well as an echo from the Daughter, when Ahsoka notices Morai.

(This resonates with what Filoni says about the World Between Worlds in a recent interview, that it attunes to whoever is currently inside, or the person inside only truly hears echoes that are relevant to them, the rest may as well be static and noise, incomprehensible.)

Ahsoka's the one who suggests Kanan's spirit is lingering, trying to guide and teach Ezra one last time from beyond the grave, through the manifestation of the Dume wolf, and yeah, it tracks. I kind of like the notion that Kanan clung to himself just long enough to make sure Ezra was okay before he let himself move on and dissipate into the ether.

Ezra latches onto the idea that Kanan meant for him to save Ahsoka, and then tracks that thought straight into "I can prevent Kanan's death too."

But it's not the same.

Ahsoka knows she has to go back through her portal and return to the time she left, sooner rather than later in order to prevent any kind of paradoxical damage to the timeline. But she can't leave the grieving Ezra in limbo and so she rushes after him to hold back his hand.

Once again, "You want a ride?" echoes, the moment Kanan first offered his hand and help to Ezra, which must be so intimately imprinted on him that it's what he always first hears.

"You can learn what it truly means to be a Jedi." And he's about to, Kanan, believe me.

Ezra's theme plays here. It doesn't complete, never making it to the second stanza. Ezra's not thinking straight. His words echo Anakin's, "I can stop people from dying!" He's too wrapped up in his grief. He's trying once again to reach for power that isn't his to grasp, in order to stop loss from happening to him.

He is attached.

Attachment in the Star Wars universe has a very specific connotation. It has never meant love, or relationships, friendships, other people, cherished places or things. It is all about one's own mindset when relating to those things. Jedi are supposed to love everyone, selflessly. But they are supposed to understand that nothing lasts forever. Things die, people move in and out of your life, the change happens and you can't stop it "Any more than you can stop the twin suns from setting." Shmi says. Children grow up and leave home. Being a Jedi, being balanced in the Force, means you accept the transitory nature of things and let go of your fear of loss.

Because fear leads to the Dark Side. Being afraid of loss, of being without the things important to you, makes you angry at what might try to take those things. Which makes you jealous, clingy. Greedy. Makes you grasp tighter. Makes you desperate. Makes you seek for the power to keep those things with you. And there the Dark Side is, calling to you, offering you that power. Promising to help you keep those things you want.

But it's a trap. The Dark Side will consume you. It will not help you save what you fear to lose, it will instead demand their sacrifice. The desire for power will overtake everything else, every other noble intention or motivation you had. What you intended to save you will no longer care about. The Dark Side will be all there is.

So you must let go of the things you fear to lose. Let go of that fear, and it will have no power over you. Accept the loss, and do not grasp for the power to break reality, to cheat the natural order, just to spare yourself the pain of not having that thing or person in your life.

Because you cannot go back down into Hades.

You cannot turn back time. You cannot undo death.

"You can't save your master," Ahsoka tells him, so so gently because she knows how hard this is. "And I can't save mine," she accepts.

And so Ezra looks at the portal, everything in him screaming in grief. And Ezra, who has abandonment issues and so much of his own worth and validation wrapped up in Kanan--"Kanan believes I can."--who thinks of Kanan as more a father than a teacher, who is still at heart a lost little boy who misses his parents... does one of the hardest and bravest things ever required of him.

He drops his hand, and turns his eyes, and lets go.

He faces the grief and loss head on, and accepts it. Doesn't let it master him.

And thwarts Palpatine one moment more.

Because the image of Kanan was not actually him. The Dark Side will never actually keep its promises. Or it will fulfill them in a way that makes it not matter. It all consuming, always hungry, never satisfied, and it will suck you dry.

The portal Ezra was tempted by leads straight to Palpatine. Who reveals himself like a cackling demon, shrouded and surrounded by blue flames.

Yikes.

Outside, Hera and Zeb are preparing to spring Sabine free of Hydan's "company", though not before she learns the way to seal the portal again.

The lovely dichotomy of "Sabine will know."/"He's on his way." is great BTW, they have so much faith and trust in each other.

Sabine's cheeky little, "Sorry about the mess." :)

I am fairly certain, though I can't find the post from Celebration that talked about it in overview, that Dave et all recycled several ideas from the planned Season 7 arcs for TCW into Rebels. This fight I'm sure was one of them, I remember something about fighting Palpatine in the basement of the Jedi Temple, where the nexus is.

Full male chorus for this moment, love it.

Palpatine won't give up so easily. He still needs to piggyback off Ezra's permission, because the Temple accepted Ezra and rejected him. If he cannot trick Ezra into being his anchor, he will simply attempt to latch onto him from the other side by force, through Sith sorcery.

YEAH NO THAT'S TERRIFYING.

Also fanficcers once again have let me down, I need way more Bad End AUs to this scene than just the one I wrote.

"When you get back, come and find me!" An obligation yet to be fulfilled. Hopefully the Ahsoka show will finish this out. *fingers crossed*

Ahsoka runs back off into the shot where her back was to the camera from "Twilight of the Apprentice" and Ezra escapes, to Palpatine's severe annoyance I'm sure. I would not want to be in the room when that happened, lemme just tell ya lol.

OH HEY HERE'S MY FAVORITE NO CONTEXT SIGNATURE SCENE. :D

There's so many things about this scene that I love. Sabine grabbing Ezra's arm to help him up. Zeb practically holding Ezra to him as they run, giving him cover from the blaster fire. Chopper's Big Damn Heroes moment as he drives a freaking drill (one he was eyeing earlier) into the crowd of Stormtroopers.

DEAN KINER'S EXCELLENT "THE TEMPLE COLLAPSES" MUSIC CUE WHICH IS OF COURSE MY FAVORITE OF THE WHOLE SOUNDTRACK.

Ezra looking immediately to Sabine to tell him which one to activate, because he trusts she's figured it out. Zeb helping lift him high enough to reach.

Ezra connecting to the Son, the score piping in with piano to signify the Force usage. Maybe Ezra is having to call upon the Dark Side, maybe he is just making a connection, but either way it's harder than it was with the Daughter. Takes more effort. He collapses immediately into Zeb's arms right after.

But look at Ezra’s expression:

The way his lips and eyes pinch, how his face tightens.  The minute tremble in his lip. It’s not anger or fear or passion he’s channeling here.

It’s grief.

Ezra falls unconscious into a Pietà pose (more on that in the messianic imagery post) and looks incredibly small here in Zeb's arms. This is such a soft moment and it's so sweet, I love it.

The mural turns crimson red and the Temple begins to seal and collapse. Removing itself from the physical plane of existence entirely, to deny Palpatine access.

Our heroes flee, Hydan perishes, the most gorgeous animation of the show splashes across the screen as the wolves return to their place, the Daughter and Son descend, and the Father claps his hands and sinks the Temple.

Ezra is barely conscious the whole time, a lot having been taken out of him. It's similar to how he collapsed in "Gathering Forces" and "Vision of Hope" and "Holocrons of Fate", too much Force energy exhausts him. As he fades out, Kanan's voice calls out from the white light.

"The Force will be with you, always."

By implication, "I'll be with you Ezra. I'm alive inside of you now."

And then all that's left is to say one last goodbye to Kanan, across the glasslike surface of the plain where the Temple once stood, into the rising light of dawn and the fading footsteps of the white Loth-wolf.

Kanan's theme plays us out over the credits.

These two episodes contextualize, and re-contextualize SO much about the overall story. Finally we know what Ezra was meant to do, what made him so special that the Force chose him, not as the Chosen One, but as a Chosen One, with a specific destiny and purpose that he needed to fulfill.

A child of Lothal, tested and found worthy by the wolves, who was already blessed by the Jedi Temple before. Favored by the Force to enter into its innermost sanctum to protect it from those who would desecrate it, twist it to their own purposes.

Ezra's narrative importance to the overall Star Wars saga becomes immensely clear. His character development is complete, and he now has the strength to stand against Palpatine's temptations, and the bravery to make the ultimate sacrifice for his planet and people. One whose results he won't even be able to see.

Just like Kanan did. Kanan's last lesson--To love unselfishly and give of yourself, even if means losing what you hold dear, simply because it is right and you are needed--will be Ezra's final act as well. And it took being asked to let go and accept Kanan's death for him to understand.

These episodes are beautiful in theme and message. The World Between Worlds is a fascinating perfect addition to Star Wars lore. The character work is fantastic and I can even pardon the clear favoritism in managing to bring Ahsoka back. I love these episodes so so much, they're my absolute favorites of the whole show.

We're almost done my loves, let's watch Ezra's character development pay off next time. :)

[negative-speedforce]

Sorry I'm late in sending this I was running some errands

How does (canon character) feel about your OC? [Barry and Cisco]

Which canon character annoys your OC?

Which canon character does your OC not respect at all? Why?

Who has your OC made cry?

What is your OC’s redemption moment?

For Siv and Onnie please? (I love putting these two together so I can compare them >:) )

How does (canon character) feel about your OC? [Barry and Cisco]

Siv: Cisco trusts Siv a lot more than Barry does, since Siv kinda grew up in STAR Labs, hanging around and doing homework while their dad was working, and he was almost like an uncle to her. He knows them a lot better than some of the others.

Barry, on the other hand? His strict moral code and her playing fast and loose with the law don't mix well, and he sees them as being volatile and dangerous (which tbh is kinda true). She doesn't like him much either. Plus, they barely even know each other.

Onnie: Cisco has trouble differentiating the Onnie who he met when she was a sweet kid, and the jaded metahuman mobster who now rules part of Central City's criminal underworld. He hopes to encounter them someday, to try to talk some sense into them (it probably won't work).

Barry, on the other hand? Eobard framed him for Gina's death, and even if Onnie logically knows that Barry is innocent and Eobard is the real killer, it feels good to have someone to direct that rage at who won't beat you to the brink of death at the slightest provocation. He's honestly kinda scared of her.

Which canon character annoys your OC?

Siv: By far, Barry Allen. His strict "No Killing" rule has been the cause of so many of her problems, at least in their opinion, since after he lets villains escape and gives them second chances (especially Eobard), they often become Siv's problem. She'd like to be able to grab his shoulders and give him a good shaking, but unfortunately, they're too short.

Onnie: General Wade Eiling. He's a manipulative bastard who's tried to partner with her father multiple times, and they see that as a threat to their power. He's not dangerous to her, not with their level of power, but he's definitely a nuisance.

Which canon character does your OC not respect at all? Why?

Siv: Eobard. He may be her father, but she doesn't give a shit about that. He's also a superpowered serial killer, and while Siv isn't above a little killing of their own, they see their kills as mostly justified (except for the accidental ones), while Eobard's are random and often petty. He has no respect for human life.

Onnie: Barry Allen. She blames him for Gina's murder, and while years before they uncovered the truth, that Eobard was behind the killing, she's too scared of her dad to do anything about it, and prefers to direct her anger towards Barry. She also sees him as a useless goodie-two-shoes, who doesn't do much other than get in their way.

Who has your OC made cry?

Siv: Eobard, mostly. Siv doesn't cry much- most of her tears are tears of frustration or anger.

Onnie: See above. Eobard is an asshole.

What is your OC’s redemption moment?

Siv: When they hit rock bottom, and not even Jay is willing to help her anymore. Essentially, Siv dives deeper and deeper into cynicism, misanthropy, and self-destruction, slowly pushing away everyone she loves while committing worse and worse crimes, until finally, Jay has to realize that at this point in time, Siv's a bad friend and being around her is actively hurting him. They make up eventually, but it's at that point that she realizes that she's hit rock bottom, and the only way out is up.

Onnie: The imminent destruction of the multiverse. Though it's more a "Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!" moment, it leads into Onnie's greater domestication arc (is it a redemption arc? idk, but she definitely gets less feral so we're gonna call it the domestication arc). She figures out a way to trap her earth in a pocket dimension, and though using herself as a power conduit to do so almost kills her, it works in the end, and E-2002 is saved.

[partly-cloudyskies]

tagged by @big-meows always happy to talk about mah storeez

How many works do you have on AO3?

29. seems like a lot, where does the time go?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

630,542 where??? time??? go??????

3. What fandoms do you write for?

lessee we got ur ducktales, ur gundam with from mercury, night in the woods, amphibia, outer wilds, xcom and deltarune. man i really forgot about that single xcom fic i wrote. i really did intend to write something in that fandom. i still might maybe idk

4. Top five fics by kudos?

There Will Be No Dancing i've always been really happy with this one. i feel like I really caught the energy of the characters. i'm glad people seemed to catch that energy y'know

Hypothesis i wrote this almost immediately after deltarune came out i think it was like the 2nd one with that pairing and i always kind of felt like it got kudos mostly cuz it was so early. i mean it's not bad but idk, i think it just got out the door early and that's why it got attention. my favorite part is the bit with berdly

Under the Shadow of the Snack Falcon the first fic i posted when i started writing fanfic again after, like, over 20 years. i'm glad it's in the mix

Orbits imo this is my most, like, technically accomplished fic. in terms of structure and theme and that. there's another outer wilds fic i wanna write. been sitting on it for a while. hope i get to it someday!

Rite of Spring my night in the woods magnum opus (that i completed, sorry glass factory). i named it after the stravinsky ballet. i felt like it was thematic, idk. i really had fun writing for lori

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to. i mean people make a stink about comments being important so i try to reply to the ones i get, even if it's something innocuous like 'thx for reading!'

some fics i don't respond at all and it's usually cuz of any number of badbrain circumstances i am under at the moment. always feel a lil bad about that. not enough to make a stink of it, bad in the sense that you see a banana that you left out too long and now it's all brown and mushy. that kind of bad

well, all any of us can do is try

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the view from mars, i suppose? or maybe it's monument. or quests! i kind of liked quests.

view from mars is kind of a bog standard teen crush melodrama, but i liked writing the girls from amphibia so i thought i'd give it a try. would like to do another amphibia story someday.

monument is an outer wilds fic, so everyone dies (spoilers i guess) and it's about, like, your work outliving your life and then even your work eventually disappears and then what's left? and maybe asking what's left isn't even the right question. you know. existential stuff. play outer wilds

quests is me indulging myself cuz i have a thing for pairings where one half is gonna have to take care of the other half and like, is lena really up for that and what happens when she gets in over her head cuz webby gets in over her head. idk i'm too much of a sap to take this to its angstiest conclusion and it gets resolved p quickly which might make it seem a little pat but the story did what i set out for it to do so i'm cool with it

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

there will be no dancing, probably. it's got a pretty sweet ending. just don't read the stories in the rest of the series. it's fine it's cool

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not that i've seen. i did see a comment where someone was asking a leading question like they wanted to get into some Discourse but i just ignored it and nothing came of it and we all lived our lives

9. Do you write smut?

ya when the notion strikes. if we're examining the ways characters interact with each other sex is one of those ways and it'd be weird to exclude it over all the other imo

10. Craziest crossover?

i never actually tagged this is how we grow as a crossover huh. but @big-meows was the one to initially conceive of a stardew/ducktales crossover so i ain't taking credit. i guess the only other option is red brithright, my current wip: star wars and witch from mercury

it's not really a crazy crossover tho. they're both sci fi franchises that started in the 70s and prominently feature protagonists with complicated relationships with their parents and have laser swords. kind of an obvious crossover

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of. it's hard to know if i'd care even if someone did. i guess i'd be miffed if someone were making money off of it somehow

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have had requests, never saw if they actually did it but i always said yes

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i've had some beta-ing but idk if i'll ever co-write. i've got a pretty light presence in fandoms so i doubt i'll get involved in anything more collaborative then, like, prompt weeks

14. All time favourite ship?

idk man i mean i wouldn't devote days of writing to any ship unless they were my all time fave to some degree. weblena's always gonna have a place, sulemio is the new hotness but i think there's something enduring in it. i'll always have a soft spot for barrisoka

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i like to think i'll finish all wips eventually. yes i know that's dumb but i still like to think it

16. What are your writing strengths?

idk i like to think i'm p okay at juggling an ensemble. like when there's a lot of characters and giving them all a little moment to characterize themselves. even if it's just a single line. i hope that comes across. and i love to have a sense of place, like an environment that feels authentic. i love a good place and want others to feel like they can see it. who knows if that works

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i tend to get bogged down in details to the point where i have to step back and ask myself if i've lost the thread of the story. like i'll get preoccupied with how characters get from point a to point b when that shit don't matter

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

don't think i've ever done

19. First fandom you wrote in?

starcraft. used to be part of a writing group that did varying degrees of starcraft. all ancient history by now

20. Favourite fic you've written?

hm. probably there will be no dancing. like yeah again i feel like i was pretty on for that one. punchy and funny and written deep in the perspective of the pov character. i really do wish i could keep that kind of writing for long projects! but alas

if you see this feel free to do your own!