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RANT POST ABOUT CALLIE AHEAD!!!
I need to get some old and built up feelings out of my chest before i explode into a trillion pieces, if you do not wish to see a LONG rambling about me getting mad and rageful about this important character to me then by all means skip over and have a good rest of your day or night!
If you can handle me getting a bit pissed off and mean then keep on reading!!
This will also be a VERY LONG POST!!! Because I have a lot to rant about. Some of it i have talked about before many times but i need to talk about them... Again..
So anyways. If you wanna move on, that's okay, if you wanna stick around? That's all good as well!!! I highly HIGHLY encourage you to read all that I have to say. Okay? Thank you!
You know, as someone who has put in a lot of time and research into Hypno Callie and the others. What I've come to notice in media is that people tend to use the words mind control, brainwashing, hypnosis, influence, indoctrination, corruption, all interchangeably despite each word having vastly different meanings and connotations and effects.
Brainwashing has been used as an incorrect word to describe a lot of these kinds of plots in TV, movies, games, etc. and it really bugs me personally. Like, if you see something as clearly hypnosis, they explain that it is hypnosis and there is a hypnotic element at play here, you cannot just slap the word brainwashing onto it. It's like if I called a mango an apple you know? Or if I showed you a squid and you called it an octopus and you were REALLY adamant that it's an octopus.
Another example, if there's mind controlled zombies that are being controlled by aliens or something, slapping the word hypnotised or brainwashing onto that scenario is stupid because they clearly explained it in the story with evidence that it's straight up direct mind control and nothing else.
This doesn't just to apply to Splatoon btw, this annoyance goes for every other time a "mind control" plot has occurred in fiction.
I don't wanna sound rude here, I really don't! But guys, do you realise that we have this cool thing all across the world called a language? And languages have words in them!!!! And words have meanings in them that are brains understand and interpret!?
If I say the word "fluffy" what do you think of? "Fluff, fur, cute, huggable, adorable." You think of cute fluffy things, yeah?
If I say the word "hypnosis" what do you think of? A trance like state, a weird altered state of consciousness, maybe even a weird sleep/flow state?
If I say the word "brainwashed" what do you think of? Cults, militarily, experiments, evil, etc.
You guys see why I take issue? You guys see why I am extremely picky and laser focused on people's word choices when it comes to Callie and what happened? You guys see why I get really angry when people who do fuck tons of research into the events of Splatoon forget that languages exist and fail to see things past a fucking Wikipedia article?!? Is it seriously THAT hard for some people to say hypnotised?
I don't even necessarily blame most people for the words that they use, they don't know any better! And you know what? That's okay! I don't wanna get mad at SOME people since that word has been used incorrectly in media for a long ass time. And you wanna know another reason why i don't blame the casual fan or someone not in the know that much too? Because even the SPLATOON DEVELOPERS use brainwashing to describe Callie which is just... from my research and posts, incorrect.
I have yet to find a single person who can confidently explain to me that Callie was actually brainwashed and provide evidence to me to prove their points. Cause all I see is people just saying that "oh, a wiki and an artbook said so, so it must be true." Instead of looking at the actual game and looking at Hypno Callie's personality, behaviour, actions, etc. and comparing them to regular Callie.
Why do you think 99% of people call her Hypno Callie? Like there's a reason as to why her name is that in most circles... Have you ever talked to someone who calls her brainwashed Callie? Probably not...
God... I'm really sorry if i come off as some gatekeeping fan or elitist snob or some shit. I'm not trying to be and i don't wanna be like that. I wanna educate people, make people think of a different perspective and make people think a little more you know?
I'm just getting tired of it all... It affects how I see Hypno Callie and the events of Splatoon 2. I can't enjoy it when some people throw out these certain words, and it makes me feel so sad and terrible. And not in an engaging way, just a sadness that fucking stings my chest and I'm SO SICK OF IT!!!!!
I just despise this notion in the Splatoon community, Inkipedia, YouTube videos, social media and official sources that Callie was kidnapped out of the blue when she was alone and Octavio forced the shades onto her, brainwashing her and removing her memories. I hate it so much. It's something that truly fills me with great sadness and pain and pure anger. Callie is a comfort character of mine and to hear that scenario for her in official canon is just... no. I can't accept it. I refuse to accept such a vile and awful thing. It makes the Octarians more evil and way less sympathetic that way too, it makes DJ Octavio's eventual redemption make less sense because in one game he's this fucking monster and the next he's like "Hey guys imma help you out!" It makes his character incredibly inconsistent at that point.
it makes his appearance with Cuttlefish at the Grand Fest feel less satisfying because there this huge black spot on his character from Splatoon 2 where he apparently did something truly evil and unredeemable. Why would Cuttlefish be okay with standing next to a man who """kidnapped and brainwashed"""" his grand daughter?! I don't care about their history together, if i was Cuttlefish and I heard about that kind of event for my grand daughter, I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE OCTAVIO!!!
Hypnosis by nature is less evil and has more nuance and agency for Callie and the Octarians. Sure it's still fucking bad but not as extreme and dark as brainwashing is. The two terms are so vastly different and using either word willy-nilly is extremely annoying and frustrating to me.
Hypnosis ≠ brainwashing and you cannot prove to me otherwise. You literally cannot mind control someone with hypnosis, that's not how it works. They are so opposite of each other it's actually insane. I DON'T GET WHY PEOPLE USE THEM INTERCHANGEABLY ALL THE FUCKING TIME?!?! WHY?!?!!? Is it a lack of knowledge?!? Lack of caring?! Is it because of how hypnosis is portrayed?!?!
And the whole "Callie was kidnapped/abducted." My god... Do people understand what words are coming out of their fucking mouths?
Callie was more than willing to join the Octarians and she said to them "okay fine I'll hear you out." That is not KIDNAPPING!!!!!!!!!! THAT STATEMENT MADE BY CALLIE GOES AGAINST THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD!!!!
I don't know why they say this in some official sources either, i don't know why Inkipedia lists it on their pages. i don't know why fans keep wanting to push this idea that Callie was kidnapped, is it because an artbook said so and nothing in the game? I don't know why timeline explainers and people who do a fuck ton of research into Splatoon push it too. If Callie was kidnapped you figure she would mention it. But she doesn't!!!! Marie does and says she was brainwashed in the North American (NoA) localization, but of course she would think that and from her perspective she would figure that is the case from her limited knowledge of what happened to Callie.
God I just.... I hate it when people say Callie was brainwashed. I fucking despise it. It makes me so violently angry and upset and EVERYONE WHO HAS A LOUD VOICE IN THE COMMUNITY SAYS IT!!!
This doesn't even impact just Callie. It impacts the entirety of the Octarians as a species and DJ Octavio too. I LIKE DJ OCTAVIO!! I THINK HE WAS FUNNY IN SPLATOON 1! I like his role in Splatoon 3 and how he redeems himself and how he appeared in the Grand Festival with Cuttlefish. It ties back to before the Great Turf War when the Inklings and Octarians were on good terms and now finally that peace is back....
But this enjoyment... this appreciation of his character growth gets ruined because of the shit Nintendo did and what the fanbase did when Splatoon 2 rolled around... I can't enjoy Octavio as a character anymore because of the notion that Callie was brainwashed by him.
I can't look at his inkipedia page because IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH THEY SAY HE BRAINWASHED HER!!!!
And don't you EVEN MENTION the line "I remixed Callie's brain!" My brother in Christ, that is not only a call back to a line he said in the final boss of Splatoon 1, but it's also because DJ Octavio is a.. idk... DJ!!!! A DISC JOCKEY!!!! In the NoA version of Splatoon, Octavio's personality is very loud and in your face, compared to his more sinister and intense personality in the European and original Japanese versions. This serious personality was only given to Octavio finally in the NOA version of Splatoon 3 ROTM where his personality actually matches his Japanese and European versions from Splatoon 1 and 2.
Octavio says puns and musical terms to describe shit in the NoA versions of Splatoon 1 and 2. Remixing by definition is taking a song and altering it to make something new. What is Hypno Callie? A REMIX OF CALLIE!!!! It's Callie but she's more aggressive, emotional and impulsive. And you know where we've seen this remix of Callie before? IN SPLATOON 1!!!! IN THE SPLATFEST DIALOGUE!!!!
Octavio didn't literally mean that he "remixed her brain." via actual brain, washing. He just means that he gave Callie a new twist, and Callie in her hypnotic state was like "okay fine I'll hear you out."
Octavio hypnotising Callie who wanted to help the Octarians anyways out of her own free will, planting suggestions into her head that SHE HERSELF ACCEPTED AS DURING HYPNOSIS, SUGGESTIONS GIVEN CANNOT GO AGAINST THE PERSON'S MORALS AND IDEOLOGIES!!! So that Callie would be more likely to stay in Octo Canyon and not decide to suddenly run off as Callie was under a lot of mental distress and emotion from her busy and lonely life, and allowing Callie to put her influence onto Octo Canyon to help his people and boost motivation, fits more in line with Splatoon as a series and Octavio as a character than the whole "he brainwashed Callie" bullshit that has plagued the internet for 7 years and continuing. Why do you think Callie is so chill to see DJ Octavio come back in Splatoon 3 huh? Why do you think she misses shaven Octarians in ROTM? Why do you think she calls Octarians cute? Hmm... I WONDER WHY?!?!?!
Is Octavio still bad? Yes! Did he use Callie to benefit his people? YES!!!! Was Octavio being manipulative and selfish? FUCK YES!!! HE'S THE ANTAGONIST!!!! I AM NOT RESOLVING THAT MAN OF BLAME!!!! DONT GET MY WORDS TWISTED!!! HE'S STILL BAD! just not unredeemable... because once you say he brainwashed someone and forcefully removed Callie's memories like a pure evil monster, then you have a character who is pretty much unredeemable at that point. You have made him cross a line that he can't turn back from. You implanted these disgusting and disturbingly sexual suggestions about Octavio and Callie and her outfit. Why the FUCK do you want that? Why?! Why do you wanna even suggest the idea that Callie was forced to wear skimpy clothing against her consent and knowledge? Do you know how fucking DISGUSTING AND EVIL THAT IS?!?!?! FOR A SERIES SUCH AS SPLATOON?!?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA ON WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO FUCKING IMPLY HERE?!?!?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?! GOD!!!! WHY DO YOU WANT THESE AWFUL THINGS DONE TO CALLIE AGAINST HER KNOWLEDGE AND CONSENT IN THE MAIN TIMELINE!!??!?!?!?!! For AUs I get it, it's your right as a fan to make fanfiction and explore darker topics. I personally won't read it but I won't EVER stop someone from making a darker AU. It has its place in the community and I 100% respect it with all of my heart. I truly respect those who make dark AUs and darker takes on Splatoon because I'm sure it's fun and interesting for some people. To each their own! I actually like hearing my friends talk about Fuzzy AUs and stuff like that, given the time and place, darker toned AUs are something that i find really interesting but I'm not super duper in love with them.
But don't you DARE put these disgusting and sexual undertones about Callie and the Octarians in the main canon. Fuck off. Don't you even try and suggest that the Octarians are this purely evil race that forced Callie into a revealing outfit while she was completely unaware and it was against her consent. And that they just grabbed her... god... Jesus Christ man. Fuck. I hate thinking about that so much dude.
This type of scenario that people push did NOT happen.
THIS DID!
I'm so angry. I'm so sorry for this giant humongous rant. I care a lot about Callie. I only want the best for her. I only want a more engaging and more in-depth take on Splatoon 2. I want to enjoy Tidal Rush, I want to enjoy Spicy Calamari Inkantation, I want to enjoy Fresh Start, I want to enjoy the Bomb Rush Blush remix like how i enjoy Unconscience by Marina Agitando. I want to enjoy Hypno Callie in general, BUT SOMETIMES I JUST CANT AND I GET SO SAD AND MY CHEST HURTS!!!! This has been going on FOR SOOO LONGGG!!
I keep making all these posts about Callie because I still see that kind of bullshit being thrown around. Imagine having a perspective on a character you really love and you try and hold on to it. But everyone else around is pushing that perspective down and you feel so sad and stupid and ridiculous... And so your only option left is to scream and bark and yell....
I am literally gonna keep ranting until I can see the word "brainwashed" in media without having a fucking heart attack. I wanna just be able to enjoy Callie's arc and see it for what it truly is...
A story about two cousins drifting apart... Callie becoming so popular and famous... and lonely... that she became so mentally distraught and overthought everything. She did something incredibly irrational. She went to Octavio and the Octarians. Octavio knows that Callie can be a huge help to him after his loss and so he enlisted her help. And she just said, "okay, fine."
She was given hypnotic shades by Octavio in order to keep her more under control as she was ridden with mental illness and could leave Octo Canyon at any point with her overthinking. But he did NOT put her under total control and brainwash her, he needed Callie's influence for the Octarians, to decorate bases and add her touch into their music. The Octarians became happy and more motivated then ever. He didn't need a drone to help him. He needed, CALLIE.
However... Callie, in the canyon, lost herself, she gave into bitterness, hatred, sadness, anger... She knows who she is, but her memory is so cloudy and muffled by emotion and the shades... She needs help... Proper. Help. You can hear it in the songs found within the Octo Canyon, her reversed vocals sound so sad and deeply emotional...
When Marie arrives, Callie is mad at her, she wants nothing to do with her. But when Marie shoots the shades off of her, Callie is still dazed, upset, emotional, sick, she dances and continues to sing back against Marie's desperate words and pleas... Marie only wants to repair their broken relationship and lend out a hand to her cousin who needs to see the light....
But, when that heavenly melody echoed in that stadium, it was like a rushing tide of memories and feelings flooded into Callie. All of her and Marie's time performing, hosting news, celebrating Splatfests, and arriving to Inkopolis for the first time, came back to her and dispelled the darkness in her heart.
Callie heard the melody and went "wait... This isn't me! What am i doing!? YEAH! I REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And well... The rest is history, the pair healed their relationship over the course of a few years and are stronger than ever.
They fulfilled their fresh start, they helped redeem an angry vengeful man from the past, they inspired the present with Off the Hook, and they planted the seeds for the future in Deep Cut.
and they won the Grand Festival... TOGETHER!
Well... At least that's MY interpretation on things ;). And i want my interpretation to be held strong in my head... I'm tired of getting chest pains man... I'm tired of feeling this sadness and pain... I'm tired of going on Inkipedia and seeing that FUCKING word. I'm tired of being scared to watch YouTube videos focusing on lore and the story of Splatoon because deep down i KNOW they will say that word that has such fucking horrible connotations and meaning behind it...
Anyways. I think I'm done. I think I'm just in a huge ranting mode and I had to get it out, my autism was really acting up and i wanted to vomit this stuff out of me. I hope you guys feel what I'm feeling and if you have a character who you feel similar towards, let me know! Let the anger out. Okay?
Have a Callie for sticking around and actually reading. You're amazing.
#splatoon#callie cuttlefish#callie splatoon#splatoon 2#hypno callie#octo callie#octo canyon#dj octavio#rant post#personal rant#sorry for the rant#ranting#rambles#autistic rambling#marie cuttlefish#marie splatoon#splatoon 3#long post#very long post#anger#hypnosis#brainwashing#sorry for venting#vent post#complaining#captain cuttlefish#great turf war
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i have no idea why we got so lucky but. does youku ever release english subs/versions on their app for other shows?
or did they just notice the influx of out of china phone numbers registering and decided to cash in?
#rant#word of honor#because if it was a money move its actually a decent one#cause yeah it would give them some Bam english watching subscribers that'll pay for a while that otherwise wouldnt have used the app#im just curious cause like. im following killer and healer at the same time rn#and mango tv saw HUGE demand for subtitles and waited a week anyway with fans afraid it would not even be subbed or only partly subbed#so fans started making fansub#mango tv thankfully decided 'ok because of that we'll sub ahead of time to several eps like up to ep 10'#because if they'd only dropped 1 sub ep a week that wouldve been bad with 14 eps out lol#but mango tv has been like that too with other shows which is why fans assumed they might do it again#whereas youku of course has an actual decen youtube schedule i think its great#its regular and has subs SAME day (altho even a delay of X days is fine since youku subs very regularly)#and i suppose it makes sense they put the subs up early on youku app - they must've subbed ahead of the airing schedules.#so they already have the eng subs. they're delaying release on youtube cause reasonably it encourages youku vip subscription for early eps#all that's perfectly business appropriate. the fact tho they just put all subs FOR vip eps on the app#thats a pretty smart small decision that might make them some gains. that i didnt expect to see#since presumably they had the subs already. so it was a matter of 'ah can we make some extra money with them'#idk in college i had to study business case studies and just. the comparison between mango tv rn that CUTS audio out of its OWN shows cause#its too lazy to copyright its OWN audio on youtube. versus youku rn that is even making eng subs available on its app for vip is !!!!
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Devil’s Sweet Star (35)
Fandom: Dead by Daylight
Ghostface x Female Reader
Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut
***
5 days. The Roseville festival takes place in 5 days. Time flies too quickly. Far too fast. And the pressure on your shoulders is only growing. What if it doesn't work? What if the cake was ever missed at the last moment? Or that it falls on the way? Or that people don't like it? That would be a deep shame, and a deep disillusionment. But we must not be discouraged. We must remain positive and if it fails, so be it. It takes a first time to everything. And then we always learn from our failures, right? Failing is not a fatality, we must not give up at the first failure we suffer. Otherwise, we never move forward. On the contrary, every failure we suffer, every mistake we make, must push us to be better if the opportunity arises again.
For now, you have something else to do. Since the nebula’s attack, you had to have the damage repaired. Fortunately, by chance, your insurance covered the costs. But it will not be able to do so ad vita eternam. We will therefore have to increase security. Inspector Wilhelm offered you to post a policeman to monitor the establishment from the opening to the closing of the café. He will not be inside but on the sidewalk opposite, under observation. That way if there is ever a problem, he can intervene quickly.
As for the apartment, it has progressed well. Mr Lawson has dealt with the problems of leaks; he now has to deal with the floor. On your side with Jed, you have repainted all the pieces according to your tastes. Even if there have been debates about certain rooms such as the chamber. But in the end, you always found an agreement. And mixing your two colours gives... impressive and original results in itself. Once the floor will be done. You can finally live together. You look forward to it.
Today you were closed. But you're still working on the festival cake. Corey having returned to work after his few days off, Amy too, you had decided to close exceptionally to work on the cake as the festival approached. Even so, your young employee was still feeling some pain.
“Are you sure it'll be okay, Corey? You know if you're in too much pain, you can go home it doesn't matter, Amy and I can manage together.” you said worried to see Corey's slightly grimacing face.
“Don't worry about me! It's okay! the doctor told me that the pain would persist for a few days. I just have to take my painkillers when I'm really in too much pain. But for now, it's okay.” responds Corey with a smile.
“Don't make the hero either. If it ever gets worse you may have more than pain. So don't force too much.” replied Amy.
“Oh, come on Amy! I'm not a kid now! I'm not in sugar either! If it really doesn't go well, I'll go home, it's promised.”
“Yeah yeah...if you say so. I’ll keep an eye on you anyway.”
You smile as you look at them. They are so adorable, even when they argue. it shows how much they care about each other. Kind of like you and Jed in a sense. Surprisingly... you haven't heard from Ghostface. since... since you made your deal. He must be busy preparing everything. But he still finds a way to talk to you. By piece of paper that he deposits either at your apartment or at your café when it is closed. Sometimes the "letters" are accompanied by small gifts. Either a flower, once with a necklace, earrings ... You were wondering how he was able to buy them. If he bought them of course.
You're not really looking forward to honoring your part of the market. Because who knows how it might turn out? But you were able to turn this out to your advantage as well. He will tell you everything. He will show you his true face, tell you his name. And finally, you can put a face on the man who since your arrival, knows you much more than you know him. Finally, you can claim to be on an equal footing. Even if it's not really the case.
But deep down... do you really want it? Do you really want to destroy all the mystery around him? After all... it brought him a certain charm... even if he is a murderer, the mystery that surrounds him about his identity makes him more attractive, more... Take that out of your mind, pickle brains! You have a boyfriend! And given the night you spent the other night... Ghostface is just the appetizer. Under his shy mood, Jed is much wilder than you dared to imagine.
“Ok! let's see what this cake gives! if it is good then we can do it bigger for the festival!” you said with a smile.
“Yeah but... It's a cake for 12 people. and we are only 3. We will not be able to eat everything... and it would have been a shame to waste it.” responds Amy with a worried face.
“What are we going to do with the remaining shares?” ask Corey.
“Hum... I think I have a little idea. I know who would be delighted to have them.” You replied before you take out your phone to call Jed.
“Hello? Honey? Is there a problem?” asks Jed on the other line.
“Oh Jed... If you knew how much! It is a tragedy! I have here a test cake for the festival but unfortunately it is 12 parts! and there are only 3 of us! Unfortunately, I'm going to have to throw it away...” you answer in a dramatic theatrical way.
“... Are you trying to make me fat? I know I can eat at will without gaining weight but still... if you did it... I can't say no. I came with Mattew and Melina. And we'll take a share of it for the boss. Keep it for us tonight.”
“Thank you, my love! See you soon! I love you!” you replied with a smile, while Amy and Corey were laughing.
“See you soon Honey. I love you too.” he responds before hanging up.
You put away your phone with a satisfied smile. Definitely, talking about cake is a good way to get Jed to come. Despite his body certainly skinny but finely trimmed, Jed seems to be a big gourmand. And to say that he can eat as much as he wants, he will not take a gram... while you, you have to be careful. You are not fat on the contrary! You are as well-proportioned as your size! Amy and Corey were laughing, looking at you at the same time.
“What?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“You're both too cute! it's adorable a couple like yours!” responds Amy.
“I could say the same about both of you. You are both equally adorable, I did well to take you both.”
Your two employees looked at each other, before looking away by blushing, which made you laugh. Jed arrived around noon with Melina and Mattew to taste the cake. These two do not lose an opportunity to eat. You prepare a share for the boss of the newspaper. And serve a share for everyone, and then one for yourself. You each taste your turn a slice of the cake, and all the faces lit up with a beautiful smile.
“It's too good! I love this mix! Mango, Pineapple and Passion Fruit, it's too good!” said Mattew.
“I'm not a particular fan of the passion fruit... but I admit that the mixture is well find! I like it very much!” continue Melina.
“Me too! (Y/N) we must absolutely make this cake for the festival! I'm sure the whole city will enjoy it!” said Amy cheerfully.
“Yes, why not... what do you think? Do you think it could work? You ask, looking at Jed.
“It is very good... But at the level of presentation and decoration ... you should make it more colorful. to do it only in white, it's too much marriage cake. I'd be you I'll add a mango coulis, or a chocolate coulis, something that makes the cake more colorful. And given that it is in honor of the city... you could make mini monuments out of sugar dough? With the town hall at the very top. After that is only my opinion.” responds Jed, putting his glasses back on his nose.
“You’re right. Thanks Honey! You’re the best!”
“By the way, what about the guy who broke the windows of the café? Any news?” asks Corey.
“Wilhelm cooked him for hours, the guy refused to say who he worked for. But hey anyway he's going to be judged and he's going to pay for the damage he's caused, as well as for assault and battery on you. He will take a few months in prison as a bonus.” said Melina.
You all chat for a few more minutes before everyone leaves, Jed taking the slice of cake for his boss. In addition, he informed you to keep the remaining shares for both of you for later, but also that he will return very late tonight. The work... always work. During the day, Mr. Lawson phoned you to warn you that the new floor was installed and that the apartment was officially habitable. Tomorrow you can start living there and moving your belongings. Jed too. Fortunately, you had started to make boxes. On the other hand, you will have to ask your neighbours to help you for furniture a little too heavy.
As Jed advised you, you had made a chocolate coulis and a mango coulis for the cake, as well as the sugar dough decorations. And indeed, the result is magnificent, it makes it much more colorful and much better taste level. It's time to go home. for once, for a long time, you will be alone tonight... normally. Tonight, it will be a small rice salad, with tuna, corn and thin slices of tomatoes. Simple but effective, fresh and light too.
You watch tv a little while eating, just to have news from all over the world. And the news is not famous. It's sad. Once the meal is finished, and the dishes are done, you change to get ready to go to bed. Suddenly you feel a fresh wind stroking your arm, taking a shiver from you. When you head to the source of this slight cool wind, which came from your room, you find that the window was open.
“Miss me Sugar ?” said a man voice.
“Long time no see... I thought you had finally found a new victim to harass. Whatever you still find the time to send me messages.” you respond, facing Ghostface which was leaning against the wall of the room, chuckling.
“Don't forget my little gifts. You see I spent some... complicated nights. stalking, conspiring, killing... avenge. it's not easy the life of a murderer you know. My life during the day is no better either. So, I take a little break. And what better way to relax than to see my beautiful and sweet star.”
He approached you, gently taking you by the waist, suddenly bringing you closer against him. You hear him humming your neck, like an animal smelling its prey. You hear a noise near his face, a sign that he lifted his mask slightly. Suddenly you feel his tongue licking your neck which made you react. You try to get away from him, but his strength was far greater than yours.
“You don't respect our market. It had been said one evening once that Hoggins would have died. Not before.” you said frowning.
“And I intend to respect it! but... I need to relax... and I must give you a... a taste of what awaits you. It will be nothing compared to what I would do during our little... private evening.” He responds chuckling.
“Don’t you dare...”
You don't have time to finish your sentence as he took your assault lips. If at first you did not let yourself be done, astonishingly you must be more docile after a few minutes, letting his tongue enter your mouth to play with yours. He pushed you gently on the bed, putting himself above you, without letting go of you. You feel his hand gently go down along your body, stroking your thigh. You can't help but take out a little moan between two kisses. He backed up his face, sneering, with a sneaky smile on his lips.
“Finally, you like it huh... you hide your game well. I like that. I love when a woman reveals herself to my eyes. You are like packed treats, which you have to unpack, again and again until you can finally enjoy it. And I intend to savor every piece of your fragile little body down to the smallest detail.” he said before resuming his assaults.
He unbuttoned his pants to throw them to the side before doing the same with your clothes. He left your lips to attack your chest. His hand went to caress your intimacy making you moan and lightly arch your back. You didn't want, you only want to, kick him in the head, push him back violently and call the police. Or Jed. But in your heart, you enjoyed all this. You don't want it to stop. You want it to last all night. You still feel guilty for Jed. If he learns that... who knows how he will react? If he gets angry... you are afraid of the consequences.
“Don't worry for your little boyfriend... He will never know about this . That will be our little secret, just you and me.”
He smiled at you before slowly bringing his face closer to your ear.
“Enjoy my sweet little star. I promise you that I will fill you until dawn.
Strangely you believe him. And strangely... you love it.
***
(Phew this week has been busy! between my driving hours and the few appointments, I didn't really have time to rest! As for the next fanfiction I would write, maybe I'll do it on Re8 Village with our dear Heisenberg ~ I might also do an intro instead of starting directly with Chapter 1! I'll see when I start writing! I hope you’ll like this chapter like the others ones! Well, it's time for my brain to rest! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)
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Prompt: Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference. *Janhoo or Everlark
Vampiress Prompt - HG (Part II)
(Go here for Part I)
Peeta was nervous.
He hadn’t come off as a creep, right? But he was sure she was going to catch something worse than a cold if she stayed in those damp clothes, and the fire could only do so much.
A throat-clearing woke him up from his thoughts, and there she was. Katniss. She had on one of his shirts and warm flannel pants; her hair was loose but dryer than when he first had seen her.
“Oh, awesome, you look...uh...warmer.” Smooth, Peeta.
Katniss simply nodded awkwardly, and he quickly went to offer her a blanket. “Just, sit near the fire; I left you a cup of hot chocolate and some cheese buns. I’ll go put your clothes in the dryer.” She nodded again and Peeta practically bolted out of the room.
The vampiress sighed and looked around her. This was the second floor of the bakery, and it seemed this man, Peeta, lived here. It was a very warm living room: with the fireplace, a very comfortable couch, and a center table with some books and sketchbooks. He had insisted on getting her clothes dry, which really, she didn’t mind, but she knew how weird non-entirely-human reactions could make others feel uncomfortable. Only, when she realized what this might look like, she was uncertain. Would this man expect her to sleep with him? Here she was, a drenched woman seeking refuge in his bakery, who had accepted to go into his home and take off her clothes. Well, even if he did expect it, Katniss would first break his arm, or tear it off. It wasn’t the first time she had encountered a situation like this.
“That’s done.” Peeta claimed as he came back and sat on a single sofa opposite hers. “Was it too hot?” Katniss then noticed she hadn’t touched the cup with the warm beverage Peeta had made for her. She took it, blew a bit on it for show and drank.
Delicious.
What was happening? She was sure she hadn’t tasted anything as good as this in all of her second life. Sure, there had been times, like 373 years ago, when she tasted real honey for the first time, or that other, 286 years ago, the mango & cardamom syllabub... But this was just hot chocolate–it wasn’t her first time having it, and surely, the first time it tasted this good.
“This is delicious. Thank you,” she told Peeta, who in turn, looked shy at the compliment and scratched the back of his hair.
“I’m sorry I don’t have a TV here. I usually just watch things on my laptop or phone, and I don’t know if you would like that…”
“It’s okay, I’m not that much of a TV fan, anyway.”
“Ditto. My brothers think I’m crazy because of it.” He chuckled and stirred the fire a bit. “So...do you live close? I can give you a ride home if it’s not that far, or call you a cab when the rain stops.”
“I’m okay. I like walking, and I’m not that far away.”
After that, silence fell between them. Katniss sipped on her chocolate and Peeta drew in his sketchbook.
A chiming sound came to her ears, and she told Peeta.
“Oh, that must be the dryer. Give me a second.” He quickly stood up and left through the door.
Katniss quickly grabbed the sketchbook and gasped when she saw that his latest drawing-drawings-were of her. Her hands holding the chocolate cup, her eyes lit up by the fire, her face framed by her damp hair when she came into the bakery, and finally her just as she was now, sitting cozily bundled with a blanket and looking at the fire.
Checking the previous ones, she saw there were other people: men, women, children, although also some sunrises. His fingers were definitely talented; he had managed to sketch four drawings in such a small amount of time.
Hearing his steps, she quickly put everything back as it was and returned to her previous position.
“I put your clothes in my room, if you wish to change.” Katniss went to stand up when she saw Peeta holding something up. “Do you want to play?” he asked with a smirk.
“Cards? Really?”
“I don’t have anything here to entertain a lady, but I remembered my brother left a deck of cards last time he attempted to play poker. So, are you game?”
She was.
They played different games, some she knew, some she didn’t, and Katniss also taught Peeta some of her own, those she had played so long ago.
The smile came easily to her lips, and her laughter fell effortlessly amidst his attempts at being clever. And it wasn’t that he wasn’t a good player, but Katniss could detect even the slightest change in his heartbeat, so she won a lot.
She was stacking the cards again when a clock sounded loudly in the background.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“It’s midnight.”
“Are you serious?” Katniss hadn’t noticed how long they had been playing. She had spent almost five hours with this stranger, just like that.
“I better go.” She went to stand up, but Peeta beat her to it.
“You can stay if you want to.” She must have given him some kind of glare because he quickly put his hands up. “I didn’t mean it like that! I mean, it’s late, and you know how the city is not safe. My room has a lock and you can sleep in there; I can just crash here, wouldn’t be the first time.”
“I...appreciate the offer, but I need to go.” Katniss quickly followed the scent of her clothes and found a room.
Locking the door, she went to quickly change while her eyes roamed around.
There were some frames, Peeta’s art, no doubt, some wrestling trophies, a desk with a laptop and picture frames, some clothes strewn around. It had been a while since Katniss had been in someone else’s room...it felt too intimate, so she always avoided these types of connections.
Shaking her head, she folded the clothes she had just been borrowing and left them on top of the pillow. When she stepped out, she noticed, by her nose, that Peeta was still in the living room.
“I’m glad nothing shrank. I should’ve asked you if anything you were wearing was heat-sensitive,” was the first thing he said while putting away his sketchbook once again. It made Katniss curious. Could he have possibly done a new sketch in the few minutes she took changing?
“No, everything is okay. I’ll call myself a cab.” He nodded with a small smile and gathered the cups and plates they’d used, making Katniss feel ungrateful. “I can wash that.”
“No way. My house, my rules. My guests don’t do dishes.”
Katniss nodded, listening as he went down to put everything in the sink.
Her taxi app pinged, notifying her that the driver would be there in 3 minutes.
Perfect.
“I found a cab.” Her voice was at a normal volume, as she heard Peeta was behind her by the door.
“Good, then please,” he gestured with his hand, “I’ll escort you to the door.”
“There’s no need to, really. You’ve done more than enough.”
“My dad would kill me if I weren’t anything but a gentleman. Please.” His smile was something difficult to say no to, she realized, so she agreed. After this, she wasn’t going to see him again, either way.
Heading down the stairs, she realized they were both going at a turtle’s pace, slowly putting one foot in front of the other. Why was she stalling? Katniss had said ‘thank you’ tonight more times than in the past decade, probably, and she had managed to keep her usual rudeness at bay; there was nothing left to say.
Taking a deep breath, she turned around to say goodbye one final time before leaving, but when she whipped her head around to look behind her, Katniss found those piercing blue eyes so close it almost made her gasp.
“S-Sorry, I...was just going to warn you about the next step; the wood is a bit loose there.” Why was Peeta whispering? Why hadn’t he moved?
Why hadn’t she moved?
He was a step higher than her, making him seem even taller, and the stairs weren’t illuminated by any light above.
She wondered if there was some magnetic force that suddenly brought them together, because she was sure they had crashed their lips against the other’s at the same time. Katniss quickly found herself pinned against the wall, but she didn’t let go, only pulled at Peeta’s face with both hands, pouring need into the kiss.
The last time she did this had been centuries ago. She didn't need sex; she'd had sex for decades, and it had long since worked its way out of her system. Lust was something common to her race, but the fever dimmed throughout the immortal years, eventually only happening if you wanted it to. Right this second, she wanted to. And Peeta must have noticed.
The way he held her waist, tight against his own body told her that. She knew she was stronger than him, but the pure male scent that came from him at that moment made her pliant in his hands. Big, strong, those were the only adjectives her mind could come up with while he sucked the air out of her lungs.
When their lips parted, she simply dropped her head back, baring her neck to him, a gesture he fully took advantage of, biting where her pulse point should’ve been.
A shiver ran down her spine, almost making her weak in the knees. Peeta returned to her mouth, and just as his tongue ran across her lower lip, a loud honking noise made them jump apart.
“That was-” she began to say.
“I, um...I just…” he tried to say.
They stared at each other for a second before Katniss sprinted down the stairs, almost flying through them, not actually touching the steps.
She opened the door and turned around one last time.
“Goodbye, Peeta.”
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Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks
angel; do you have a nickname?
not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol
awe; how old are you?
24
baby; favorite color?
dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)
bloop; spirit animal?
so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;
When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.
The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations
blossom; favorite book/movie/song?
i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)
movie: A Beautiful Mind
song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown
blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?
a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)
breeze; most precious childhood memory?
lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess.
bright; mermaids or fairies?
(honestly neither but) fairies
bubbles; do you have a best friend?
given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend
buttercup; showers or baths?
S H O W E R S. hate baths!
butterfly; dream destination?
I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.
buttons; are you religious or spiritual?
i am neither
calm; favorite scent?
anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.
candlelight; what did you dream about last night?
i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol
charming; have you ever been in love?
currently
cozy; eye/hair color?
hazel / brunette
cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?
the 1970′s for the fashion
cupcake; favorite flower/plant?
love me a good succulent
cute; what did you get on your last birthday?
well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)
cutie pie; most precious item you own?
i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?
cutsie; what makes you happy?
picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.
daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.
I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up?
daydream; how do you want to be remembered?
as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not
daylight; favorite album of all time?
gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)
dear; zodiac sign?
Taurus
delightful; concerts or museums?
concerts
dimples; have you ever written a letter?
yes? this question makes me feel old, lol.
dobby; dream job?
criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US.
doll; how do you like to dress?
comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol
dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?
one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever.
dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?
want yes, have no
drizzle; do you believe in aliens?
100%. no way we are alone in this universe
euphoric; talk about someone you love.
he makes my days so much better :)
fairy; do you have a pet?
I have one little old kitty :)
fluffy; ocean or mountain?
to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain
forever; where do you feel time stop?
the secretary of state? lol
froglet; are you a good plant owner?
I've never owned a plant lol
garden; how many languages do you know?
one :(
gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?
@cy-ne-fin
giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?
sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble.
glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?
i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol
glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself
im compassionate
im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)
im goal-oriented
im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol)
i guess i like my lips/lip shape
heart; silk or lace?
lace
honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?
tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar.
hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?
bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol
hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?
white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)
jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?
to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in.
jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?
well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol
joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?
i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice
kinky; do you blush easily?
i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao
kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?
i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though
kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?
late at night when everything is quiet
ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?
old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)
love; what is your favorite season and why?
i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol
lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?
I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream
magic; what are five flaws you have?
ooooo boy
im short tempered/angry too much
im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol)
im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own
i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious
i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong
moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?
this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes
munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?
someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them.
paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?
something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)
pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?
on youtube usually
precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family.
pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?
cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product
prince; how would you describe your handwriting?
normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute
princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?
no:( wish i could play bass or drums
prinky; how do you relieve stress?
i don't :)
i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked
pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?
you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol
rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?
lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring
roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?
meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with
smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?
quarantine? lol
shine; art or music?
music is art.
shimmer; do animals tend to like you?
i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol
smitten; do you collect anything?
not really
smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?
4
snuggle; what is your favourite candy?
jolly ranchers
snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?
nope
sparkle; do you wear jewelry?
nope
spooky; sunrise or sunset?
sunset
sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?
headphones
starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?
Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh
soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.
i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess
soothe; digital or vinyl?
i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic
squeezed; who do you miss right now?
i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other
sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?
loyalty, honesty, & humor
sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?
if i must pick, practical.
sweet; do you find it easy to open up?
absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't
sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?
honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any
thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?
not really
toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?
i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol
tootsie; what kind of friend are you?
like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time.
treasure; what was something that made you smile today?
the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)
velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?
night owlllllll
whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?
the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)
whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?
home home home home
whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?
not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring
wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?
messy? kinda in the middle really.
wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?
my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring
wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?
I've never seen one :(
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tagged by @anathenma WOO GIRL <3
rules: tag 10 followers you want to get to know better
name: Lauren
gender: Female
star sign: Virgo Sun || Leo Moon || Leo Ascendent, which basically means I have the usually quiet reserved personality of an analytical, organised virgo on the fact of things, am usually the goofy, chill friend amongst my friends, and don’t like to take anyone’s shit, but if I am disrespected, I’m a sensitive six foot flower and withdraw from the world until I can get over it. xD I don’t like conflict.
height: 183cm/6 feet
age: 27 (YIKES XD)
wallpaper on my phone: (I had to check XD) A calendar of May 2020 stylistically arranged around ribbons
house: Slytherin
ever crush on a teacher: Both my parents and my uncle are teachers and consequently I knew every teacher in my school as actual human people and not ‘crushes’ growing up. So no. XD
coolest halloween costume: I went as the Starbucks logo one year when I was eight, a gigantic Lady Luck die one year with a top hat covered in poker chips and cards. I had some good ones I made: I was creative as fuck when I was 9-11 especially, and I had to be, because I was already around 5′7 and people assumed I was just some weirdo dressing up to get candy (Hearing ‘AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING’ at eleven CRUSHED me XD)
Favorite 90s tv show:
Okay. So there’s one’s I watched actually as a child of the 90s, and ones that were just always ON in the 90s that I ended up watching. It’s debatable whether these are actually good NOW. XD
That being said, the background ones were Saved By the Bell (ZACH MORRIS IS TRAAAAassssh~~), Boy Meets World, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond.
As a kid, I loved the Aladdin Animated Series, The Hercules Animated Series, CHIP AND DALE RESCUE RANGERS (Which didn’t really hold up sadly but still has the best theme song of all time, fight me), and Timon and Pumbaa.
One I rarely caught but really liked was All That, The Wonder Years, Sabrina the Teenage Witch- occasionally Fresh Prince.
Out of all of these, I still have a super fond spot for Saved By the Bell, especially with the ‘Zach Morris is Trash’ series on Youtube (Seriously, go watch it. It’s fucking hilarious and basically breaks down how much of a serial killer in the making Zach Morris is XD). The clothing is ridiculous and no one really dressed like that in the early 90s outside of commercials and TV (unfortunately). Maybe one shoddy item out of the bunch. Meanwhile Saved by the Bell is like LETS PUT IT ALL ON. XD It was terrible once they got to college, but it was stupid and fun and made me feel ‘cool’ watching it because I was like three and being like, “YEAH, IT’S BRIGHT AND THESE PEOPLE ARE COOL AND I CAN FOLLOW THE PLOT. I’M MATURE.” XD It’s literally still the only one of these I actively watch now in the form of Zach Morris is Trash, so I’ll go with it. xD
Last kiss: Never had a consensual kiss. Make of that what you will. xD
Have you ever been stood up: Nope.
Favourite pair of shoes:
I have terrible plantar fasciitis from sports, so I’m a shoe snob, and have to have properly fitting/constructed shoes. It depends on what I’m doing in them, really. I got a pair of trail running shoes for trail running during COVID, but they’re not the most aesthetically pleasing. I’d say the best mixture between comfort and style are either a good ol’pair of black ankle boots with a slight heel (so I can be 6′2 and intimidate people with my height muhahahaha), or more practically on a day to day basis, I have a pair of Reeboks that are 90s-styled with pastel pink and blue triangles on the side. They’re pretty dope. xD
have you ever been to vegas: No, but my parents have. Basically, they said you tire of shopping after two days, and then you’re just stuck inside hotels and shopping malls there. If you’re not a gambler, drinker, or have a ton of money to splash out on stage shows, I don’t think it’s particularly worth going.
favorite fruit: Mango or raspberry, but they’re super-expensive in the land of Maple Syrup so I usually don’t get them any other way other than frozen in smoothies.
Favourite book:
I could never choose a favourite book. It’s literally like choosing between children. It’s my microcosmic version of Sophie’s Choice. xD Tasteless joke aside, it’d honestly depend on the occasion. There’s a huge difference between entertainment reading, literary exploits, and educating yourself through books as a whole.
My ‘plane’ book (which I’m terrible at flying, so that was a joke), as in, an easy, fun, instantly rereadable read to read on the plane when I used to have super long fifteen hour flights to Australia, was always Mario Puzo’s ‘The Godfather,’ because I also had a huge crush on Michael Corleone.
But it’s also not the ‘best’ book and literally spends an inordinate and honestly disturbing amount of time on the fact that this poor woman in the story (which thankfully in the film, it gets cut down), but the bridesmaid Sonny Corleone has sex with, and how you see his wife indicating his ‘size’?
THAT’S LITERALLY AN ENTIRE SUBPLOT OF THIS BROAD’S STORY I SHIT YOU NOT BECAUSE NOTHING IS ‘BIG’ ENOUGH FOR HER AFTER HIM AND THEN YOU FIND OUT SHE HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND GOOD FOR HER SHE’S ABLE TO FIND LOVE AGAIN BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MARIO PUZO XD IT WAS A LOT OKAY.
(Footnote: I also suffered through his horrific sequels because I love Michael Corleone and will take him in any form he comes in, even horrifically written Sicilian backhill exploits that were never told to us in the original book and were clearly just written because Puzo needed another pay check but I digress.)
Horrific subplots aside, I really enjoy The Godfather for its sheer pulpiness. The book is essentially what Andrew Lloyd Weber is to musicals. xD (Yes, I come with musical theatre burns. Fight me.)
In terms of a piece of literature that I think is amazingly well done? Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, or Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.
Stupidest thing you ever done:
Um, maybe when I was at Cambridge I tried to dye my roots to match the rest of my ‘blonde’ hair at the time, and it turned out bright orange? And because it’s Cambridge, they had this super-strict attendance policy, so I was literally trying not to hyperventilate because it was running close to class (which was across campus) and I was trying to find some way to remedy my hair without it falling out/ someone asking about it. So, I grabbed a toque-cap-thing despite it being literally one of the hottest summer on record in the UK (It was like 35 degrees, it was MENTAL), and had to sprint to class all the way on the other side of campus from my college dodging dodgy tourist groups blocking the sidewalk while I went. Then when I sat down inside, I had to be weirdly rude and wear my hat inside the lecture hall even though the professor was looking at me (it was a specialised program in German Literature) like, “Are you going to take that shit off?” xD THEN I tried to dye it back to brown, and it literally looked like mud mixed with a runny egg had exploded on the top of my head; it was AWFUL. XD So FINALLY I did my research and found a salon, but by THAT point I had done 250 pounds worth of damage to my hair (WHICH IS LIKE 400 DOLLARS CANADIAN AT THE TIME), and I almost had a heart attack and thanked my lucky stars that I had money put away so I could give my parents the ‘parent price’ when they asked why they hadn’t seen me on FaceTime or Skype for like, three weeks, and I replaced my face with a photo of John Cleese from Fawlty Towers, which they tease me about to this day. xD
The other dumbest thing I ever said was when I was so desperate for friends in grade six when I moved to a new school (and because being American was ‘cool’ at the time, apparently), I told everyone I was a dual citizen because my mother LITERALLY GAVE BIRTH TO ME ON THE BORDER CROSSING WHAT. XD And bless this poor bespectacled girl named Mara (who was actually a little class friend of mine), who just said timidly in the back, “That’s not how citizenship works.” xD It basically came out of attempting to be cool and failing, but I’m still SO embarrassed about THAT one that I’d never admit it to ANYONE besides shouting it out into the Tumblr black hole. xD I’m still embarrassed to THIS DAY.
All time favorite shows:
I’ll go for the original run of The Twilight Zone, which has some schmaltzy episodes (I’m really not a fan of any of the episodes entirely dedicated to the Space Race or the weird cowboy fanaticism of the fifties/ sixties, or anything that’s overtly like “ALIENS DID IT SO THERE”), but I LOVE their psychological horror episodes or Dystopian episodes. It’s when Rod Serling’s writing and narrative voice is the strongest and most prophetic, and the twists are usually the best. Other shows have tries to imitate it, or reboot it, but I really think the original, due to Rod Serling’s unmatchable voice, in every sense of the word. There’s lists of some of the greatest episodes, but I remember LOVING the episode ‘A Stop at Willoughby.’ The twist literally made me clap my hands in horror and delight, it was amazing. xD
Other than that? Off the top of my head, Mad Men and Band of Brothers, even though I haven’t rewatched either in ages.
last movie you saw in theaters:
Oh God, before all THIS hit? Probably Rise of Skywalker. I get agoraphobic and itchy if a movie theatre is too busy, and we only have really pokey sort of ones nearby that you’re guaranteed to see someone you went to high school with (terrible), so now that I can properly drive I go out to the big redneck theatre out in the boonies. I miss living in Montreal though, because when you live in a big city like that downtown (and can actually afford to live there), you could see blockbuster movies at like ten in the morning. xD Which would be AMAZING because I’d go to see any of the early Avengers/Marvel movies when they opened, the day of opening, and it was literally me, one old man who fell asleep halfway through and sat near the back, and maybe an elderly couple on a morning date to the movies. xD I get really annoyed with obnoxious movie-goers, and I’m really picky about just being completely absorbed in the movie, so I tend not to go unless I’m guaranteed that space.
tagging: Anyone who wishes to tag me back so I can learn about them <3
#meme#well god this was embarrassing#still hope you found something of interest in there though xD#personal#I indented the longer answers so this was somewhat cohesive
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for him | jhs
⇢ genre: series (fluff, brief smut)
⇢ pairing: jung hoseok x reader
⇢ word count: 2.3k
⇢ warnings: drinking, vaping, hobi almost gets electrocuted. mild smut, mentions of sex.
this work is based off of the song for him. by troye sivan. listen here.
We are running so fast and we never look back
And whatever I lack, you make up
Your hand was clutched tightly in his, and you were sprinting down the abandoned city block like your lives depended on it.
The sound of your Converse hitting concrete echoed against the stony buildings. Store lights flickered in the distance, and a car alarm’s whoops resounded through the chilly air.
How he had convinced you to take a shortcut back to your apartment down a shady side street, you’d never know. You’d said it looked suspicious, and he brushed it off. He said if worst came to worst, you could just run, and you’d get a good workout out of the experience, so why not?
Of course, fifteen feet down the block, a trash can cover clanged against a metal fence and scared the crap out of him. You simultaneously bolted, one thing led to another and now you knew why not.
The street light shone off of the creases in his jacket, the stylish leather sharpening his features. He turned to make sure you were next to him and it contrasted against his face, throwing it into shadow.
“Christ, Hoseok,” you wheezed as you loped along next to him, legs stumbling. “Slow down and consider that the person you’re running next to has legs half the size of yours.”
“All the more reason to run faster,” he teased, slowing down a fraction of the pace.
“Shut the fuck up, you do this for a living.”
“I never said I was good at it.”
“Well-“ You were interrupted by a wheeze, throat beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen. “You are, so shut the fuck up.”
We make a really good team
Though not everyone sees
We got this crazy chemistry between us
He’d taken you out to dinner to the nice Italian place on 48th East and 12th Street and gotten a table tucked back into the corner, away from other restaurant goers. You’d snuck in through the back with a reservation and miraculously, word hadn’t yet gotten out that J-Hope was out and about. With a lifestyle like his, you could never be sure, and although the fans knew about you, he kept you safe from their prying eyes.
He didn’t go all-out with the designer clothing, but the Prada dress shirt and musky cologne hinted at enough. He looked like a god who’d come down from heaven, settled across the table from you, and introduced himself as the utterly ridiculous man you knew to be your boyfriend.
He caught you staring over the top of the menu and smiled widely. “Everything alright?”
“Uh, yeah,” you stuttered over the words, cheeks reddening. “I’m good.”
He chuckled and went back to perusing the pasta options. “You’re too cute.”
It had been a long, long time since you had him to yourself. Thus, you had a lot to talk about, from life at the studio with six other type A boys and Namjoon’s destructive abilities to the latest Broadway show you had seen and the weird guy at your job that didn’t seem to take no for an answer. The waitress came by to refill your waters after the three hour mark, and long after the meal ended, you were still talking even as the last customer paid their bill and gathered their belongings to leave. That was what you loved about him, loved about your relationship- you connected endlessly on so many levels, although you were completely opposite people.
Jumpstarting your car cause the city’s a bore
Buyin’ e-cigarettes at the convenience store
Makin’ new clichés on our own little tour
Let’s ride, ide, ide
The hair was sticking to Namjoon’s forehead, and Hoseok was trying not to get electrocuted.
You sat on the sidewalk edge with your head in your hands. “Why, just- who the hell thought it was a good idea to give practically teenage boys jumper cables and go off of Google to learn how to restart a car?”
There was a stripe of grease on your boyfriend’s cheek from where he had wiped off his hand. “I don’t know, but he was a genius, whoever he was.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes, sitting next to your right on the curb. “See, I trust you two to restart my car, which is probably a mistake considering Namjoon destroys everything he touches and Hoseok might spontaneously explode from excitement.” He blew mango smoke into the air- he’d been trying to quit smoking recently, it was damaging his vocal cords.
“Dammit, Suga. This is all your fault.”
“Hey,” he shrugged. “He’s your boyfriend. You’re the one calling 911 if this backfires. No pun intended.”
Taehyung lifted his chin from where it rested from the pile of leftover boxes from dinner on his lap, sitting to your left. “Yoongi, that was awful.”
“I didn’t plan it.”
Maybe there was a god up there making sure your friends didn’t accidentally electrocute themselves, because Yoongi’s car fired once, twice, and rumbled low, puffing smoke much like its owner.
“Lo and behold, the car lives another day.” The slim blonde rapper stood, pocketing his e-cigarette. “Come on kids, get in the back. And buckle your seatbelts this time, I don’t need one of you destroying the roof along with the engine on this thing.”
You don’t have to say I love you to say I love you
Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons
We be makin’ shades of purple out of red and blue
Sickeningly sweet like honey, don’t need money
All I need is you
All I need is you
You had no idea how he’d planned it, but it was two days of the road, your boyfriend, and the best trip of either of your lives.
“How did you manage- you know what, I don’t even want to know.”
Your boyfriend had somehow booked two days off from work and rented the smallest camper van you’d ever seen. It hooked onto the back of his car, and had the appearance of a somewhat rusted tin can that someone forgot about for a few years, then found and cleaned, only to abandon again.
It was the cutest thing you’d ever seen, and you fell in love with it instantly.
You planned out the route the day before, covering as much as you could, stopping only to eat, sleep, pee, and replenish the gas. It was the perfect short road trip- long enough to get away from the rush, but not long enough to miss anyone. In fact, you didn’t even have to miss home- home was next to you in the driver’s seat, one hand gripping the rim of the wheel and the other interlocked with yours.
Oh, and the sex was pretty good, too.
We try staying up late, but we both are lightweights
Yeah we get off our face too easy
You promised him you wouldn’t fall asleep during the movie, but your head was on his chest, one thing led to another, and you were dozing under the blanket he’d thrown over you.
He noticed you’d fallen asleep and was about to wake you with a tickle fight, but after the week you’d had at work, you deserved a rest. He kissed the top of your head and brushed your forehead with his nose, admiring your cute little snuffles and the way you pressed yourself closer against him.
“How did I ever deserve someone like you?” he mused, kissing your nose and running his hand down your back. You sighed in reply, cuddling ever closer to him.
And we take jokes way too far
Cause sometimes living’s too hard
We’re like two halves of one heart
We are, we are, we are
Your legs were crossed over his on the couch recliner, sliding as you toppled into the cushion in a full bodied laugh. He was laughing just as hard, shoulders shaking, breathless with mirth. You glanced up at him and found that even in a crowded room he was paying attention only to you, tender eyes gazing into yours. Time slowed and you were in your own little world with him, and only him.
His hand slipped into yours, and you entwined your fingers with his. You leaned your head on the swell of the pillow and smiled. Your thumb traced his knuckles, finding every curve and edge.
Across the room, Jungkook aimed a throw pillow at Hoseok’s head, but Taehyung batted it out of his hand. “Let them be.”
Eat a pill, stay and chill, you don't need to go
I'm about to bring emo back if you leave my home
“Oppa, I have to leave for work.” You tried to pull free of his arms, which had wrapped themselves tight around your waist.
“No, stay. Please?” He widened his eyes and batted them at you, putting fists up against his cheeks, doing aegyo. He knew it was your weakness.
You huffed at him, pretending to be upset. “Five more minutes.”
I'd panic at the disco and you'd rather watch a TV show
Then I'll squeeze your booty real hard like I'm kneading dough
His mouth was on your stomach and he was crawling up your front, kissing every bit of exposed skin he could find.
He pressed his lips against the sweet spot on your neck, listening to the cries that fell from your mouth like prayers. Hands ran up your sides and down your front, settling on your hips.
You snaked your nails down his back, tracing down his spine. He tipped his head back and you took the opportunity to kiss a trail from his throat to his lips. He crashed them into yours, needing you ever more closer to him, and let out a sudden yelp.
You had cheekily decided to pinch his ass.
His gaze darkened and he grinned seductively, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and stealing a not so casual peek at your chest.
“You fucking tease.”
Pizza boy, I'm speeding for ya
We can get married tonight if you really wanna
Me in a cheap suit like a sleazy lawyer
And if you break this lil' heart, it'd be an honor
You were drunk and he was tipsy, nearly shitfaced on the living room carpet. He was dancing around with a champagne bottle microphone and glittery top hat, trying not to trip over his own feet. You were draped over the couch arm, half hanging off in a stupor. You kept bursting out into fits of giggles when the hat would fall into his eyes and he’d have to stop and fix it.
“Hobi…?” Your voice trailed off, dragging out the ‘i’ in an upwards glissando. He twirled around to find the source of his name and lost his balance, pitching backwards.
“Jagiya?” He tilted his head so the world was sideways. “You look funny.” He completely tipped over now, flopping sideways like a rag doll. “Jagiya, I love you.”
To your alcohol-addled brain, that was the most monumental thing anyone had ever slurred to you.
You crawled the length of the couch and ran your hand through his hair, welling up. “I love you too, Hoseok.” Your tongue felt heavy, and the words weren’t coming out quite right.
“Jagiya…” he swayed a little as he sat up to take you in. “I want to marr’y you, you’re my e’rrything…”
You were pulling him closer by the ends of his crumpled bow tie as the door opened and Yoongi poked his head in. “Everything alright? I heard a crash.”
“Yoongi!” You opened your arms like a toddler wanting a hug. “C’mere…”
“I’ll pass, thanks. Jesus, Hobi, how many shots did you have?”
“Jus’ one. Maybe three.” He held up two fingers.
“Oh my god, this is worse than the car incident.” Yoongi scratched the back of his neck. Hoseok rarely ever drank, so his tolerance was fairly low, and he was more than a little plastered. “You’re both going to have awful hangovers in the morning. Ah, god. I’ll get Jin.” He turned on his heel and strode out.
Yoongi poked his head back in the room. “Oh, and by the way, happy new year to both of you.”
Your love for each transcended alcohol and late-night talks, pasta dinners and scuffed high-tops. It flickered and sputtered like a flame, growing until it was a roaring bonfire. You made sacrifices and he made sacrifices, giving up personal time you could have had to yourselves to spend it with the only other person in the world.
You helped him flourish, to break out of the mold he had made for himself to discover something new- a person he had never known before. The Hoseok who cooked you dinner and kissed your nose and fell asleep beside you wasn’t the same Hoseok who rapped Cypher looking like Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, nor was it the same Hoseok who sang the tribute to his mother at her birthday party, or even the same Hoseok who made cute faces in selcas and joked with the boys. It was a Hoseok that was somewhere in the middle of all of those, a perfect mix of boyfriend and performer and goofball and everything you had ever looked for in a person, wrapped up and tied in a bow with a cute smile to boot.
So as you passed under the glow of a flickering street light, running hand in hand with the only man you’d ever come to love, your mind wasn’t on the burning in your lungs or the shooting pain in your ankle or the intoxicating drone of the city. It was on him, and only him.
You don't have to say I love you to say I love you
Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons
We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue
Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money
All I need is you
All I need is you, you
#bts#bangtan boys#bangtan#jung hoseok#hoseok#hobi#bts hoseok#bts hobi#jhope#bts jhope#hoseok x reader#hoseok x you#bts x reader#bts x you#fluff#hoseok fluff#humor#for him#troye sivan#song series#writtenthanerased#writers on tumblr#writers#write#my writing#bts fanfction#bts fic#bts x female reader
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Thank you to @feyna-v for tagging me!
Rules: tag 10 followers you want to know better
Name: Nice try. I’m not ready to tell the whole internet yet.
Gender: Female
Star sign: Aries
Height: 5′10 ft (1.778 m) Yup, I’m tall. I blame my Slavic dad.
Sexuality: Heterosexual
What images do you have as your desktop/phone wallpaper: For my desktop, I have the standard mountains at night picture that’s already programmed into my MacBook. For my phone, I have a pic of a street in London and some double-decker buses as my lock screen. My phone’s home screen is a pic of a bunch of red roses.
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: All of my male teachers/professors have been old enough or almost old enough to be my father, so no.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: I want to be writing, hopefully professionally, in either non-fiction (as a journalist) or fiction (as a novelist). If not, working for an NGO or doing something where I could be active in a community would be the next best thing. I also wouldn’t mind teaching if I had the opportunity -- I’d probably teach some kind of writing or political science class. I want to get married at some point and have kids (but that seems ages away, and I need to find my other half first, haha). I’d like to live outside of NYC, though preferably still in a city (just a smaller one).
Anywhere else right now, where would you be: Traveling some part of the world. I want to go to as many places as possible before I become an actual adult with a family to take care of and lots of responsibilities.
What was your coolest Halloween costume: I had a pretty awesome pirate costume one year in middle school (though it was a historically inaccurate costume because there weren’t many female pirates back in those days, haha). I had a big Pirates of the Carribean phase at about the age of 12 and wanted to be Keira Knightley’s character from the movies.
What was your favourite 90’s show: I’ll ignore that there was a “u” in favorite, but I just want everyone to know I’ve been triggered. I was just a tiny thing in the 90s, but according to my mom, my favorite kids TV shows were Rugrats, Powerpuff Girls, Pokemon, Dragon Tales, Blue’s Clues, and Arthur (which has the best theme song ever -- ♪ HEY, WHAT A WONDERFUL KIND OF DAY! ♪ ). Wasn’t a big fan of Teletubbies, Barney, or Caillou, but I watched them anyway. I also watched a lot of the shows that my older sister watched like All That and The Amanda Show, but again, I was really young, so I didn’t appreciate it that much because I didn’t always understand everything. I think my absolute favorite show though was either Dragon Tales or Arthur.
Who was your last kiss: My cat (Macchiato). Kissed him on the head this morning. Have you ever been stood up: Yes, and at senior prom nonetheless. (My date showed up with another girl). We were supposed to go as friends, but he avoided me the whole night. I found out later that he was with some other girl when the pics started popping up on Facebook. He was the president of student government, so everyone knew him, which meant everyone was talking about it the next day. I still had a great time at prom though because my two amazing friends (whom I’m still very close with), danced with me and made sure I had fun. My parents were furious and my dad threatened to confront him (because that’s what dads do), but I told him it wasn’t worth it. In the end, it was actually my teacher that confronted the guy. He somehow found out about what happened (because gossip spreads like wildfire in high school). The boy was in one of his other classes, so he pulled him aside, lectured him, and made him apologize to me (apology not accepted though, lol). Then, my teacher told me how he got stood up at prom, too, and made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. It was really sweet of him. I’m still Facebook friends with that teacher now, haha. No one was allowed to mess with me when he was around because I was his top student. :D He also told off a girl who was always bullying me. Thanks, Mr. S. :)
Have you ever been to Las Vegas: Nope.
Favourite pair of shoes: My black and orange Nike sneakers. They’re super comfortable.
Favourite fruit: Red apples
Favourite books: Anything written by George Orwell (Animal Farm, 1984, and Down and Out in Paris and London). My favorite book of all time, however, is To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I also love Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros.
Stupidest thing you have ever done: Some of you probably already know this, but I fell down the stairs in my apartment building when I was 19, hahaha. It was winter and the stairs were slippery because they were wet with melting ice and snow. And when I say “fell down the stairs,” I mean I slid on my butt down an entire staircase (15 steps). I was home alone because my parents were out grocery shopping at Costco, and I intended to go out to get some dinner because they weren’t going to be back for a while, and well, that obviously didn’t work out so great. I got some x-rays at my mom’s hospital and, fortunately, found out didn’t break any bones -- just had a lot of bruises and a wounded pride.
I haven’t done anything stupid in terms of purposefully doing something reckless or being under the influence. I’m pretty boring and a goodie-two-shoes. I’m also very guarded, so I don’t let myself get put in those types of situations. Most of the dumb things I’ve done have been the result of my clumsiness or my inability to take care of myself. For example, I hid the fact that I wasn’t taking my asthma meds when I was 13 from my parents. Advair was making me lose my voice, and I felt humiliated in school because I always sounded like I had a sore throat, so I just stopped taking it. I started needing my rescue inhaler at least twice a day (which I also hid from my parents). Plus, I really hated my pulmonologist, so I didn’t want to do anything he told me to do because he was honestly a complete dick and had no idea how to talk to kids. Long story short, the next time I got a cold, my lungs couldn’t handle it. I developed pneumonia, ended up in the ICU for a week, and very nearly died. Definitely not smart. Fortunately, I had a great team of doctors treating me, and I’ll be indebted to them for the rest of my life. I learned my lesson and take my health much more seriously now (and I have a way better pulmonologist who is brilliant and I like a lot more. He’s actually one of the doctors who took care of me during that time, and I’ve been going to him ever since. That’s why it’s incredibly important to find a healthcare team that’s right for you). I tag anyone reading this who wants to do it because I don’t want to keep bugging my followers, haha. If you guys end up doing it, let me know! :)
#tagged#tag game#learn a little more about me maybe#though there's nothing that fascinating to know haha
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Tiffany’s Wastrel
The following short story is based loosely on the above tweet. Enjoy.
Tiffany is acquiring a taste for wastrels.
Especially for the ones with trellises and coiffed, pressed curls.
She pushes past her usual coterie of bleach blonde maniacs and born again divas that once crowded up her equally spacious and collapsing studio upper crust loft.
She envisions herself intentionally choking upon a rice cracker alone and saving herself at the last moment. Delicious!
Would you like a duel? Asks the phlegmy ancient frenchie that is poking through her front door.
“Excuse me?” Tiffany makes sure she stares the fellow down and then quickly looks away depleted from having to sustain so much direct eye contact.
Pip the ancient frenchie takes a swig out of a small ginger tonic he keeps strapped to his chest with a bandolier of tonics, “I repeat: would you like some gruel?! Tiffany you’ve got to catch up or else the entire team is going to march on off without you! How would you like to be cast out into a Tin Pan Alley without even a cockatoo to your name? Sure, you’re somewhat of a real classic Tenner, but let’s not kid yourself your face has too many obvious tells to be truly beautiful. Don’t fret though because everyone is really and truly ugly inside and out.”
Another grotesque elderly lothario, Pip Levant, that frequently sloshes onto the elm shores of bookstore aisles on bad days waiting to go full blown Nabokov on anyone carrying the sweatiest perfumed glimpse of college. Pip had accrued a beggar’s banquet worth of bad habits when it came to Tisch students. Tiffany has started recording these encounters and using the audio of these captured harassments as a soundtrack to her fabulous revelry. Let Tiffany have her revelry you dirty old septic tank of a man. You look less like a man and more like a fox that Bryan Ferry has sought to personally catch and skin intoxicated by velvet clad hand. Tiffany has been preparing a launching off for a TV pilot point for her Elder Abuse-O-Rama daily streaming feed that has gotten over 150,000,000 views mostly by smoking children too tough for to be coaxed onto the factory scene. They have jail broken Fortnite and are capable of thrusting stock markets into disarray, but they are eyeballs and eyeballs click.
Violence is not the answer, but it is the Design. How long has Tiffany started each day emerging from her clamshell bed muttering that stormy relegation? Stretch and and get a feel of today’s wastrel, they are a slender tomboy dressed in leisure wear the color of Haden mangoes and she is amusing herself with a possibly tasteless bit of Tulvan throat singing , worse of all possibly in an attempt to win over Tiffany by her biggest weakness: amusement. Sometimes all you can do with a wastrel like this is give a courtesy curtsey and bid the wastrel adieu. Locked out of her own apartment Tiffany begins to roam the streets of Roman Solitude Retreat Center which has become the size of its own municipality or at least triple the usual sitcom set. Tiffany remembers the last line she had on a Mainstream Cranial Transmission, “Molly Trapped in The Polygon Mall.” Paid in sleek blue cash and she kept it all inside of her fanatical sister’s private banking system where all of her family funds are stashed away in inside the family compound’s intricate false rec room. Tiffany can’t remember this wastrel’s name so she hopes if she ignores them for long enough that they’ll do her a solid and dematerialize. Sometimes she breaks out a full on stoic fetal position wrapped around her blanket sarcophagus that was going to buried underneath her family’s shopping mall, a real brick and cement complex which wasn’t at all like the false duplicate mall her family had on loan in Dubai. How much does a personality cost?
Tiffany is a breath away from answering her own fecund rhetorical when she espies that nearly an entire day has been spent hibernating, oh what a satisfying state, and one that Tiffany prides herself on mastering by constantly tapping into her surrounding ether and stern mental gymnastics. She’s had her fair share of unbelievers. Her train of thought is waylaid by the wrapped in Satanic strawberry gift wrapping prominently displayed on her kitchen vanity. She tears into the gift with a Skipper butterfly knife. Wow, more soap Tiffany wants to say aloud but she is saving her voice for a jump scare, hoping that this will be the present that finally kills me. Tiffany unwraps and palms the cantaloupe-n-Licorice scented goat oat milk soap bar, and of course, there is also another bathing cap. When did all of Tiffany’s dates start insisting that she start wearing a bathing cap for every tryst? Stretching out her hunched wallflower posture into a oblique fortune five hundred pantheress with a vision, always ready to abort any given mission. Looks like all of the freelance work wriggled itself out of the hall of self congratulating mirrors and shriveled up into the sheen of dust it has always been. There’s a problem with having a surplus of disposable income and it’s one of the many in her personal Anti-pride parade stampeding issues that Tiffany is dealing with, better than most. Ho hum.
Another day in the life.
Wait a sec, Tiffany realizes that she fell for one of the many FALSE STARTS that have been rampaging her apartment building. FALSE STARTS of days spent as an ode to lovemaking; days dedicated to laundry folding; waking up pregnant with someone else’s paranoia; burning down your house and the rest of the complex being a rare but sought after FALSE START, but other FALSE STARTS are convinced that the other one is openly putting a Welsh mobster hit out on the other. Is it possible to take a hit out on a photo wonders Tiffany? Specifically, the one she keeps in her walk way inside an empty bombed out hospital in Malta. Other such snapshots of daily life were also tormenting the rest of Tiffany’s entire building, surely you can sage that sort of thing away? Tiffany’s FALSE START looks like a pinwheel sprouting out of the rusty smoldering eternally damp spot on her apartment’s bedroom ceiling. Tiffany braces herself, lunge stretches, swaddles a Ninja tailored hijab across her head that suctions itself to her skull. Air circulates into the lungs, but the exhalations are filtered out and even cleaner than before. She has gotten a job as a weather presenter for a fetish enthusiast video game streamer who always has extraneous content for the fans. The unironic straight faced weather reporter portrayed by a youthful female that looks slightly unreal. Tiffany massages her smile dimples and manages to tilt her eyes in every conceivable expression; the main pre-show exercise she has been doing for a good decade now.
////
Back on the set of one of her first jobs as a substitute “Older Sister” or throwaway Kooky Aunt for FACSIMILE FAMILIES INC. Her fictional father, Kale a method actor Pacific Island Man with incredibly bright fiery orange hair and glow in the dark freckles that made him constantly functioning at low-grade irritability. Whenever the real families were asleep Kale would creep into Tiffany’s attic room wearing a flowing night gown and a cigarette stained fuzzy robe. He would mutter all sorts of things never actually going inside of her room but just suspended in air on the ladder leading into the attic. One such muttering exchange sticks out in Tiffany’s imaginings:
A decade spent in this town and even the most alpha Fool gets thrown out for a newer model. Thankfully that won’t happen to you.
“Why not? “ Tiffany asks fully knowing the answer.
Tiffany you’re too much risky business. Something is always fussing around you. You’re gonna be fine, especially when you’re not.
Back on set living the life of a fictional family member Tiffany cradled a special hated in her heart for whenever Kale was being cute, and she was readying to go and take notes of the other crew members smoking and getting union benefits. Then Kale made his average frame appear more layered and enlarged by holding his breath only in certain parts of his body. Complete control is but a mere fragment of the whole this Entertainment Business requires. Spanking the imaginary neighbor too hard on a playdate is the only scenario Kale ever really got to act in and Tiffany never bothered to stay in touch, but the Fake Dad was right, there is something fussing around me. Tiffany flashes a tight knit smile and she grabs a magic eight ball and swinging winged bat, a cold transfused powder steel baby blue and jostles open one of the house’s many front facing windows. Without even looking Tiffany reaches into the umbrella stand pale containing a rough and splintered baseball bat. With one crack of that bat she cleanly smashes a drone out of the sky, the machine putters and sputters lamely crashing down into a private nude beach. .Another one of her secret garden variety admirers keeping an ever watchful eye? There are only so many drones you can cause crashing down out of the sky before you’ve got to pay back an obnoxious fees and fines. Community service is even enforced with classes to drone building classes sprouting up all over the country. The real family grew tired of Tiffany attracting so much attention of making their family feel too mythopoetic. Tiffany could handle getting fired from all sorts of jobs and she was maybe most thankful for being terminated for this one. She was starting to grow too fond of portraying Laurel Tallow daughter of Kale and Whisper Tallow. You have to always be able to find yourself.
////
A sickly fresh out of college bird man, a Gentleman Finch, is greasing up his feathers with Tokyo milk and sebum outside of Tiffany’s apartment building, checking his reflection in the empty koi pond. The Gentleman Finch Using the abandoned walker as a prop to imagine getting old with Tiffany, but then smashing it up and fluttering away with merciful glee. He must have been circling the block for at least half an hour but he hid his agitation well when he greets Tiffany.
Oh, great, not another wastrel. Tiffany lifts the bird boy up by his scruffy lapel and shoves him towards the community bathing center that has been closed since Tiffany moved in for constant reupholstering and fumigation. There is even an over eager exhibitionist elderly nudist. He is reciting the history of the Roman Empire by memory and coaxes the bird man child into the pool who falls in first flustered, and then he wheezes his bony little chest into a doggy paddle. He doesn’t even seem to care that his tweed suit is irreparably damaged.
Tiffany is acquiring a taste for privacy. She no longer traps her thoughts and misabelq them in jars. She is taking this time for herself. She is going to finally learn how to play the saxophone and be her own musical support on her own talk show. Sure, there are too many talk shows right now and it is a dying form of disposable industry, but you have your dreams and leave Tiffany with hers. Tiffany draws up a frothy absurdist escapist bath that is overflowing the entire apartment building. All of the FALSE STARTS are splashing about and pretending to be water nymphs in a manner eerily similar to when Tiffany tripped on acid at the Washington Yearning Yeti festival. Tiffany calls out to one her many readjustable neighbors: Hazel the Terrible, Lorne and Sade the lovers that always setting off alarms of their own agony and ecstasy, Father Pennyweather the convicted child molesting Catholic Priest with an expansive TinTin collection and was weaving a TinTin a Day tapestry in the building’s lobby, and even entire dozen of rude Yuzu family children were nowhere to be seen and no one bothers answering any of her calling out.
Pip is on an island of other people’s belongings and debris, stroking Hazel the Terrible’s dirty snow colored Pomeranian who is upsettingly sedate in Pip’s hairy arms. The Gentleman Finch offers a wing to Tiffany, he is out of breath despite flapping because his life depending on it. Tiffany shrugs him away and hops onto the back the Last Great American Whale, she is smoking a pipe, and she is exactly the kind of life model a woman could hope to find in these canceled times. The Last Great American Whale sings
I’ve watched my best brothers and sisters become bulimic because of arrogant Jonahs
Festoon your sharpest harpoons with my blubber because I’m going splashing
There’s a washed up Actor finding her way in the world and I am not her taxi
Nor am I her Mustang Sally, but nonetheless she shall Ride these waves with me
How about the Palisades?
Tiffany attempts to warble, “Suits me just fine,” but the Last American Whale sighs and gives Tiffany the silent treatment for the rest of the ride. Tiffany is deposited off on a cliff where she is free to dangle her feet over brackish crashing water. Down below idling in the Hudson is the same tomboy wastrel from earlier operating a steel sail boat. The ship’s sail is designed with a print of Tiffany’s shadowed eyes and Tiffany has no choice but to be kind of impress. The tomboy aims a cannon and fires out a parachute at Tiffany with fairly clunky but legible instructions and descends onto her craft.
I was hoping that you’d be wearing your new bathing cap.
“I bet you would. Listen, you’re perfectly cute in a droopy eyed Shelley Duvall kind of way but I’m not really that interested in having a relationship right now.”
Fine by me. Just so you know this ship is not meant to travel far and I can only get you back onto the New York side. Is that where you want to go?
“I do think of you as a mighty great acquaintance…” Tiffany holds waiting for the tomboy’s name to occur to her, but the tomboy simply stares at her, smiles and nods. “New York is the last place in the world I want to go, but it is where I must. The planet has been divided and conquered by the anointed media conglomerates and they want me back there….I want to say…Rikki.”
Glad you finally remembered.
“Whew so your name is Rikki? It’s certainly...spunky.”
No, but I’ll take it. I’ll wait and see how long it takes for you to guess my name right. The longer you take the bigger your prize. I’m going to port in Vermont, maybe Montreal if this old tin bitch can handle it.
“Canada. You know, I’ve always loved Canada. Joni Mitchell, Destroyer, Mark McKinney, what a country.”
They’ll probably deport you, but you can stay with me as long as you like or I can at least help get you sit up with a new place.
And with that the two women with no chemistry and a flaky friendship pointed and directed wind machines into the masts of Rikki(?)’s sail boat, which despite being weighed down by ostentatious steel was beginning a glide up the Hudson. Tiffany kicks herself when she realizes that she has agreed to this nautical voyage without having packed anything other than what she is wearing, but then The Gentleman Finch comes back up over the horizon lugging up one of Tiffany’s antiquate trunk suitcases big enough to fit at least one coastal traveling magician’s circuit worth of belongings, the trunk lands with a gentle thud onto the ship nearly causing the entire vessel to sink. Tiffany has to quickly go through her belongings and sacrifice a flank of wardrobe and two forty pound sacks of floral loose tea leaves that make one’s complexion clear and the glow of living in the present, she still had three more but it still did not diminish the weight of the sacrifice the Hudson is in a state of shock with the weight of so much style and sophistication.
A sea mammal somewhere between a manatee and a bipedal seal with flippers with thumb like protrusions catches flipperfulls of garments, and on a slippery jutting rock begins trying on some of Tiffany’s more scandalous Hudson offerings and is stuffing the rest of the clothes inside of a repurposed fisherman’s net. A gal can always afford to be thrifty. Rikki(?)’s sail boat regains momentum with the assistance of the loud and careening wind machines that Rikki silently with the same expression somewhere between a hesitant grimace and surgeon’s gleeful bad diagnosis. Tiffany reminds herself that this is all temporary. Even newer Jerseys and future minted Yorks will colonize and fetishize even taller metropolises, or better yet retrograde back into a state of complete wilderness. Suits Tiffany mighty fine because she’ll just be using the timber of said wilderness to fashion herself her own Desk. The tinier, aerodynamic and all-encompassing the better. The swaying undercarriage of the steely ship rocks Tiffany into a glimpse of a doze, trying to keep one eye open, trying to not get taken advantage, trying to not appear to be trying.
The Canadian Border approaches. Nevermind, that’s just the Catskills.
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Every Kellyoke So Far, Ranked
My morning routine at work has become thus: First, I enjoy the greatest iced coffee with skim milk and sugar that New York City has to offer, courtesy of Bashir on the northwest corner of 43rd and Broadway. Second, I do whatever work things I have to do that are none of your business (unless you’re someone I work with in which case I prioritize your things). Third--and at this point it’s around 10:45a/11:00a--I open YouTube and click my first recommended video and laugh. You see, every weekday morning, without fail, in the top left corner of my YouTube homepage is the day’s Kellyoke. If for some reason you’re reading this and don’t know what Kellyoke is, allow me to educate you. Kellyoke is the way Kelly Clarkson opens every episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show. But more than that, it is, quite simply, a way of life.
Born from Kelly’s extensive history of #KCRequests on tour (fans request songs on Twitter, she covers them) Kellyokes are approximately two minute covers of popular songs--usually a verse, chorus, bridge, culminating with Kelly simply vocalizing at the end. This is where I laugh. I laugh because not since Jessie J was on that Chinese reality show has there been such a consistent stream of covers sung so exquisitely and captured with such perfect audio.
And I laugh because Kelly Clarkson’s voice is not to be believed. I know everyone “knows” what a good singer she is, but I’m not sure that people have fully come around to the cold, hard fact that she’s one of the greatest vocalists of all time. Certainly that she’s the greatest singer of her generation.
Each Kellyoke begins with a “Woo!” or “How y’all doing?” or some other burst of excitement from our fearless leader. Then she launches into the cover of the day. Sometimes (mostly upbeat songs) she’ll travel through the audience, traversing down and up stairs and dancing through the rows. Other times she stays stationary at a mic stand either by her band, or somewhere else in the studio surrounded by fans. (This super informative, though nowhere near long enough (nothing could be, really), Vulture piece sheds a little more light onto what goes into these decisions.) Most end with Kelly at “home base” in front of the couches she interviews guests on, which is captured by a weird camera that seems like it’s a GoPro and is stationary so never has her perfectly framed, and always seems lower quality than the other cameras. Kelly concludes each song with another “Woo!” or “Hey!” and always gestures to her band, usually accompanied by her saying “Give it up for my band, y’all!” She’s a class act! (If you’re used to watching Kellyokes on YouTube, then you’re used to them immediately being followed by the official Kelly Clarkson Show bumper which begins with Kelly saying “I will not stop talking.” I learned how to use GarageBand so I could edit that out from the mp3s I make of each Kellyoke. It’s a sad life, what can I say!)
As God decided was my duty (I was bored and, again, sad life!), I recently rewatched all of the Kellyokes that have aired to this date (I mean, you can imagine, it wasn't a hardship.) and below have “ranked” them. But I use the term very loosely. Because how can you rank perfection? Even the “worst” (and I use it even looser this time) Kellyoke is still at least a minute and a half of KELLY CLARKSON SINGING. Which is better than anything else on the planet. It’s better than mango even. So please take the “ranking” aspect lightly.
A brief housekeeping note: I have omitted both the first Kellyoke, “9 to 5”, because it was the first and there was a pre-taped component to it, and the medley of her own songs she performed on November 1st, because I wanted the list to only be covers. “Can’t Stop the Feeling” was performed on November 6th but seems to have been scrubbed from the internet. I remember it being perfectly fine, but didn’t include it because I can’t prove it. I’ve also not counted the November 21st “Neon Moon” cover because it was performed with Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton, and John Legend, and November 25th’s “Ain’t Going Down (Til the Sun Comes Up)” because it was a duet with Garth Brooks. This is about KELLY and KELLY ONLY.
With all that out of the way, please find every Kellyoke so far ranked.
53. Express Yourself - 9/20/19 Okay, this one is really scary. On paper all the pieces are there: Kelly Clarkson, looking amazing, singing one of Madonna’s most famous songs, working her way through her audience. The catch is that the audience in this instance has been replaced by soulless facsimiles of human beings that seem to have been directed to tune out the music they can hear and instead focus on a song in their head (keeping what it is to themselves) and engage with Kelly as though that’s what she’s singing. It’s horrifying to watch as no one sings along with her and everyone claps to a different beat. Even when she gets to two seemingly gay men, they don’t sing along! Were they told not to? It’s almost like when you watch a party scene in a movie or TV show and you know they either played elevator music or were dancing in complete silence because they didn’t know what song they were going to dub it in later. This is a good excuse to make something the worst and not have it be Kelly’s fault, because she’s perfect.
A quick note on the audiences of The Kelly Clarkson Show before we go any further. It’s unclear what they’re told before each taping. A lot of times it seems as though they’re instructed to clap any which way but on the beat. Almost like the warm-up person says to everyone “Forget anything you’ve heard or instinctively felt about clapping!” It’s very strange. It’s also very strange to watch the way they interact with Kelly Clarkson who is singing sometimes inches from their faces. I know you can’t judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes, but I am VERY confident in saying that if Kelly Clarkson was singing anywhere CLOSE to my body, I would be neither calm nor collected. I might be shocked. I might be stunned. I might faint. But in no way would I be able to carry on normally. More of all this throughout the list!
52. Believer - 9/19/19 This is a totally solid entry that suffers only because it aired back-to-back with the “Express Yourself” episode and I resent how into this song the audience here is; the total opposite of the other one. Everyone should know “Express Yourself”! I don’t think that’s too much to ask!
51. Come and Get It - 11/8/19 This is ranked low mostly because I’ve always had an issue with a song that’s opening lyric is a young woman singing to a man “You ain’t gotta worry, it’s an open invitation,” so this choice bummed me out. Kelly sounds great, but we’ll keep moving!
50. Cake By the Ocean - 11/13/19 A pretty straightforward rendition of a song that doesn’t allow many vocal pyrotechnics. That’s okay. It’s still early.
49. Blow Your Mind 10/8/19 The least-known song Kelly’s covered so far (I think? Right?) leads to some pretty low energy from the audience. Kelly sounds really good, but the whole thing just kind of...happens.
48. Happy - 11/22/19 This is about exactly what you’d expect, which is not a bad thing. Kelly Clarkson singing can never be a bad thing!
47. Wrecking Ball - 10/15/19 An understated opening with a bit of a funereal vibe, if we’re being honest. This one finds Kelly starting planted in the middle of the audience with a few terribly uncomfortable looking people right in her shot. She plays with the melody which we love, and things get better once she starts walking, but all in all this isn’t one that moves the needle.
46. Delicate - 11/5/19 Some confusing excitement at the top as we try to figure out where Kelly is and what’s going on and then it’s like...Oh! She’s there and that’s what’s going on! We almost do really well with a song that feels like it’s fool-proof in terms of clapping on the beat, but our friend in white and our other friend in yellow prove that’s not quite the case! It really takes all kinds!
45. Sucker - 9/10/19 The second Kellyoke, and first proper one, is perfectly solid. The faster parts trip her up on the words a little, but her voice sounds impeccable on the chorus.
44. You Look Good - 11/11/19 My biggest takeaway from this perfectly lovely Kellyoke is that Kelly’s pocket is literally...every note ever written. It’s a common theme that will come up over and over on this list, but it never ceases to amaze me how flawlessly she sings. Even watching all of these videos back to back, it doesn’t get old! She is the greatest singer in the world!
43. Juice - 9/30/19 She’s looking great and having fun here! If I could complain, it would be about Kelly not singing enough, which reminds me of a story MIA told after she worked on Christina Aguilera’s album Bionic. MIA was excited to write songs to show off Christina’s insane range and Christina was excited to make mellow, less-showy songs in MIA’s style that didn’t require her to belt the way she usually does. It seems their time together was...fraught.
42. Jealous - 10/16/19 Kelly’s at home, both in leopard print and staying in one place at a mic stand in the band area. It seems pretty obvious that it’s because she really does not know the words to this one, and to make her navigate the stair-business along with the cue-card-business would be totally unfair. We have many more exciting entries on this list, but then she does....that at the end and you wonder why anyone else bothers singing ever!
41. What Makes You Beautiful - 10/10/19 This is fun for everyone, and the arm swaying alleviates all the clapping mishegoss so the audience looks good too. Nothing of it is too consequential, but her alternatives to the melody at the end are great!
40. Independence Day - 10/23/19 If this entry is a tad underwhelming, it’s only because it’s so in Kelly’s wheelhouse. But what a wheelhouse to be in!
39. Ain't No Other Man - 9/16/19 A lot of YouTube comments on this video (Yes, I read the comments. Have I not been completely transparent about how miserable I am??) suggest that Kelly was holding back vocally on this one which feels true. Is it because she’s not fully confident on the choppy arrangement? Is it because Christina was a guest that day? Is it because she wasn’t feeling well? Who could ever know. Regardless, she still sounds better than literally every other singer on their very best day so who cares? My only true “note”: It would’ve been nice to hear the “D-do your thang, honey,” right?
38. Any Man of Mine - 10/18/19 Another song that Kelly seems to love singing. I know I’m wrong, but the violin player doesn’t necessarily feel like he’s not chasing her throughout this whole thing. This is also, by my calculations, the first ever Kellyoke to feature a key change. We love to see it! (Am I using that right?)
37. Let Me Blow Ya Mind (10/9/19) The strangest thing about this Kellyoke entry is that every which way its listed on YouTube only credits Eve, leaving out Gwen Stefani, which I can’t figure out. The title is “Let Me Blow Ya Mind (Eve Cover) By Kelly Clarkson | Kellyoke” and the description is “Kelly Clarkson covers Eve's 2001 single, "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" for a live audience.” What gives? This one really makes the case for Kelly making every single song sound, not necessarily better, but like a song that was written for her. Maybe there are songs she wouldn’t sound good singing. If there are, she’s smart enough to not try!
36. Roar - 10/11/19 Kelly’s “Woo” at the beginning is maybe the most excited one in the Kellyoke canon. She looks great in purple (even if the sleeves are a little funky) and the vocal run on the final “roar” is breathtaking. A real motley crew of audience members here!
35. What About Us - 11/4/19 A slightly wonky arrangement that Kelly can’t seem to get in the groove of, but it’s Her singing P!nk, so it’s hard to complain. Kelly and P!nk should co-headline a stadium tour together. I think everyone would love that. Thank you in advance!
34. Shut Up and Dance - 9/23/19 This is all good and fun, but I’m most fascinated by the two women at the 26 second mark, one of whom seems to be hugging herself in order to reach her hands back to her wife, girlfriend, friend, or stranger behind her. It’s a really sweet moment that’s only marred when Kelly gets closer and the woman releases her hands to reveal that she, like the vast majority of The Kelly Clarkson Show audience members, hasn’t yet mastered the basic human function that is clapping.
33. Wild One - 10/17/19 Kelly enters through a new side door for this one, bypassing using the stairs at all. This one is great because Kelly seems to really genuinely love the song.
32. Straight Up - 11/18/19 This one is fun both because it’s unlike most of the other songs on this list and because Paula Abdul was the guest that day (along with Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Justin Guarini.) The lyric flub during the first chorus is a little vexing, but for the most part it’s all just a joy, with everyone firing on all cylinders.
31. Love Me Like You Do - 10/7/19 This song feels a tiny bit like you can hear her say “Oh, I know that one. Let’s just do that.” right before she goes on. The high pony seems like it was styled by God and the option-up at 1:01 garners a rare reaction (from the girl on the aisle and her, seemingly, sister) that acknowledges that the people in the audience are MERE FEET from Kelly Clarkson while she sings like THAT. Kelly’s vocals at the end are gorgeous.
30. Sugar - 10/29/19 This is the perfect example of a song that Kelly sings and instantly makes feel like her latest single. Her voice just elevates everything! There is nothing she can’t sing! I hope I’ve made that clear at this point! The audience loves this one and how cute is Jessi with her beret and tambourine? Give it up for Jessi, y’all!
29. Mine - 10/28/19 Kelly looks and sounds amazing here and the audience crowded around her are all doing their best impressions of human beings having a good time and enjoying live music.
28. Can't Feel My Face - 10/14/19 A fabulous horn-centric arrangement lets Kelly’s voice really soar. One of the best audiences, clapping-wise, that we’ve seen.
27. Ride - 11/14/19 Obviously the stars of this entry are Kelly’s dress and hair and the queen in the audience who knows all the words. We get the octave jump earlier than usual which is exciting.
26. Feel It Still - 11/20/19 I’m wondering how many of the artists whose work is represented on this list have heard these covers. Do you think they lose their minds? Are they so honored? Does it make them crazy to know that they will ever be able to sing as well as her? Do they reach out to her privately? Or can they not stand the thought of speaking to someone so talented?
25. Til the World Ends - 9/26/19 When I first saw that she was singing this, I was thrilled because, along with “I Will Wait”, “Crazy For You”, “Go Rest High on That Mountain”, and “My Man”, her 2012 cover of the full version is one of my favorite #KCRequests of all time. (If she ever does “I Will Wait” for Kellyoke I will cease to exist. Know that.) This arrangement is a little different and a little slow to my ear, but still...what a song!
24. Miss Me More - 9/17/19 Kelly’s having a great time with this one in spite of an audience full of people who are dressed like they didn’t know they’d be on national TV, not only that day but in this lifetime, nor are capable of acknowledging that Kelly Clarkson is singing like that a few feet from their stupid faces. Bonus points for the logo colors. Pink goes good with green.
23. Lips Are Movin' - 10/30/19 We still don’t know why this had one of the most dramatic entrances in Kellyoke history (I can only assume it’s because they taped it the same day as the Halloween episode and wanted to take advantage of Bridget being at the studio? Can anyone reading this even begin to imagine how terrible it is in my head?) but it turns into a perfectly lovely rendition.
22. Never Be Like You - 11/7/19 What could it possibly feel like to sing like this? Do us mere mortals have a point of reference? Is it similar to the way we walk or sleep because it’s so easy for her? Or is it something she has to work towards and feels accomplished after completing like me jogging for one city block or completing a customer service phone call?
21. If It Makes You Happy - 9/25/19 A little low energy and doesn’t lend itself totally to the walking around (she almost doesn’t it make it to where she needs to be at the end!), but again, her voice is so unreal that it doesn’t really matter. I wonder why she chose to do the second verse (“I still get stoned” isn’t totally her brand) and it’s nuts to me that the verse is literally low for her but...whatever! HPA (high pony alert) as well!
20. Uptown Funk - 11/18/19 First of all, how great is this entire look? This made me smile because when it started I thought, “Oh sure, we know how this will go.” And then I thought a little ahead through the rest of the song and was like “Oh shit, she’s really going to tear into all the ‘Don’t believe me just watch’ business isn’t she?” And, reader, she does! And the vocalizing at the end is just gravy.
19. Better Now - 11/12/19 I know everyone has different tastes and it takes all kinds, but this is just factually better than the original, right?
18. Chandelier - 9/13/19 A more somber mood to close out Kelly’s first full week of shows, and the audience doesn’t quite know how to be. But GOD, does that dress move well! The words get botched a bit but the voice makes up for it. I know it goes without saying (and yet I still keep saying it!) but, Kelly Clarkson’s voice is ABSOLUTELY INSANE. If you listen to nothing else on this list (WHY???) at least listen to this one.
17. I Love Rock ‘N Roll - 10/4/19 Kelly’s right at home here rocking out in her signature leopard. The audience is eating it up--they know this one and it seems like they’re actually listening to it in the room! Kelly screams and growls and sounds amazing. The high pony really solidifies this entry’s status.
16. Before He Cheats - 10/2/19 This doesn’t even sound like a cover. It literally just sounds like her song.
15. Stay With Me - 11/27/19 Choirs make me cry so I’m a big fan of this. It’s another one that makes you laugh when you remember there’s a literal daytime talk show that unfolds over the 58 minutes that follow it. But then makes you emotional from the beauty of God’s voice. Lots of emotions in one minute and 40 seconds!
14. The Story - 11/19/19 This is absolutely beautiful. Doesn’t feel like there’s much more to say, right?
13. If I Could Turn Back Time - 10/22/19 Four days after the first Kellyoke key change comes this one that almost doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen! By the time she gets to the mainstage it seems like she’s getting ready to wrap things up, but it’s just a fake out. The key changes and it’s insanity. As much fun as the audience seems to be having here, it does make me think that once a week there should be a taping that is solely attended by gay men. I think it would be just an insane Kellyoke to start, then a Q and A with Kelly and the audience for the rest. I’m not positive what it would mean for the ratings, but that’s not my job!
12. Bitter Sweet Symphony - 11/26/19 My first thought during this one is that I couldn’t believe that there was more to the show after this. This IS a show! This should have played on a loop for the rest of the hour and everyone else should have gone home. I mean, is this the most gorgeous or WHAT?? An unexpected song, a beautiful arrangement, the voice of an angel. Instantly legendary. Few Kellyokes have begged for an expanded, complete version the way this one does.
11. Why Haven't I Heard From You - 9/27/19 Reminder that Kelly Clarkson is as famous as she is in spite of never releasing a country album. Would she be more famous if she’d only released country music? Or even just one country album? Listen to how at home she is on this song! And look at how much loves Reba! You can just tell! I don’t want to be too presumptuous, but I do feel like the pants here aren’t a coincidence. Feels to me like there might have been a discussion about mobility and how into the song she’d get at the end. And she does! That last line! A true legend!
10. I Put a Spell on You - 10/31/19 We love a production and this is one, honey! I’ll pay this Kellyoke the highest compliment I can which is that it’s the closest we’re going to come to recreating The Rosie O’Donnell Show in this year of our lord 2019. (That would be assuming, of course, Rosie O’Donnell was the greatest singer in the history of the world.) There’s some questionable back-up dancer business around the one-minute-mark (Was she supposed to be alone? Was she actually supposed to touch Kelly??), but that’s the only thing that’s not absolutely perfect about this.
9. I Like It, I Love It - 10/25/19 It probably won’t surprise anyone reading this to find out that I wasn’t particularly familiar with this song before hearing Kelly’s version (unless there’s an emergency, I try to make sure the only male singers in my iTunes library are Harry Styles and Steven Pasquale), but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to Kelly’s version. What really struck me is that she didn’t change the pronouns which...well, it made me cry at my desk. It was a long week, okay?
8. Walking on Broken Glass - 10/1/19 Animal print? Check! Iconic song? Check! And buy me that skirt! The real killer here is Kelly’s bridge, which she chooses to FULL THROAT BELT (she knows no other way, really) instead of following Annie Lennox’s falsetto-ed lead. We still get a glimpse of Kelly’s head voice (if not whistle tone) at the end. Kelly’s happy, the audience is into it, this is a good one!
7. Think - 9/12/19 This was only the third episode of the show, so it was easy to think that it might never get better than this. And the truth is, it rarely does! What makes this even more unbelievable than the sheer power of her voice, is that she does this all while going up and down two sets of stairs! Who can do that?! I’ve been known to stop conversations getting on the escalators going up from the Q train just to be able to really focus on what I’m doing, and she’s singing and wearing heels and doing it all at once like it’s no big deal??
6. If I Can't Have You - 10/3/19 This one starts out as a little bit of a bummer because on paper it looks like it may be track seven of her album All I Ever Wanted. (Two quick things here. First, if you ever want me to get light-headed from talking too much and too quickly, ask me about my theory that the best song on any album is track seven. Second, if you don’t know “If I Can’t Have You” get the fuck on it! And then listen to the Smoakstack Sessions acoustic version. And then listen to the live version mashed up with “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” that she only performed a few times in Australia. And then you may marry me.) Anyway, once you get over that initial disappointment, this is a near perfect Kellyoke. If there’s anything else wrong with it (and I know she can’t control the title of the song), it’s only that her whole look is reminiscent of a middle schooler who is playing Smitty in How to Succeed and had to provide her own costume. BUT! Don’t let that take away from everything else to feast on during this one minute and 55 second masterpiece.
5. Alone - 10/21/19 “Anyone here like Heart?” is a clunky opening to what will go down as one of the all-time great Kellyokes, but by the time we get to the “Y’all ready?” we’re off to the races. Because we’re NOT ready! We think we are, but how could we be? I mean, it’s Kelly Clarkson singing “Alone” and somehow it’s even better than you could ever possibly imagine?? Even the audience engagement here doesn’t bother me as much as it usually does. Maybe because I would watch a documentary mini-series about that group of friends, especially the woman in the denim jacket who plays the air drums after Kelly walks away. I feel like she has a gay son. She better work.
4. Bad Romance - 9/11/19 This one ranks high on both personal and technical levels. Personally, this is certainly something I feel responsible for conjuring through sheer force of will and witchcraft. I don’t want to be buried (“Jesus, I thought this was a silly list of Kelly Clarkson covers!” -you) but if I did, I’d feel comfortable putting here in writing that I’d like “Kelly Clarkson sings a powerful rendition of Lady Gaga's 2009 single ‘Bad Romance’ #KellyClarksonShow #LadyGaga” engraved on my gravestone or the door to my mausoleum or whatever. Technically, again, not much to say beyond “Well, listen to it.” Taking the second verse up an octave is inspired and the ad libs are divine. The flubbed lyrics are a plant to make us think she’s human.
3. Only Girl in the World - 11/15/19 I said “Oh shit” out loud at my desk when I saw the song title, leopard print, and high ponytail all in one Kellyoke. What a trifecta. And what a performance! Let’s be real, this one boils down to the 55 second mark when you and Kelly start a will she/won’t she dance as the bridge crescendos. And like, OF COURSE SHE WILL. SHE’S KELLY MOTHERFUCKING BRIANNA CLARKSON. YOU THINK SHE’S NOT GONNA BELT THAT NOTE YOU WORTHLESS SWINE? I’m no Mister Golightly so I don’t know how to read music that well, but this seems to be the highest belted note in a Kellyoke up to this point. (And PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong. Feels like it’s important for me to know.) Her kids at the end are sweet, but this one became top ten long before they ran out onstage.
2. Let's Go Crazy - 9/24/19 The “Dearly Beloved” probably sounded better in theory, but what otherwise sinks this totally perfect vocal performance is an audience full of goons who deserve to be incarcerated or, at the very least, fined. Did I take for granted that everyone knows how to clap on the beat? Even if EVERYONE doesn’t, the odds don’t seem to lend themselves to how many people in this audience have no idea how to clap. Was there an a support group meeting for the rhythmically impaired that morning somewhere near the Universal lot? Do you think they were laughing in the control room? Also, doesn’t it feel strange that the below people could be in the same room and making those faces at the same time? Surely someone’s should be different. And I know which one I think!
1. I Wanna Dance With Somebody- 10/24/19 This is the Kellyoke motherlode. It may never get better than this. Every choice Kelly makes is the one you want her to. This one has it all: full-throated belting, whistle tone, iconic song, iconic outfit, option-ups left and right. The brief moment of audience participation lets us know that Kelly wants you to think this is for everyone, but it’s really just her taking the opportunity to go fucking wild. It’s what we and, more importantly, she deserve.
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Some lint
1. Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? Haven’t broken their nose but I’ve certainly hit a few in the face bc karate
2. What is the longest time you have gone without sleep? Forty-something hours without even a nap
3. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Several places
4. You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? If it’s in my house, yes.
5. Have you ever baked a pie? I don’t think so.
6. What is your favorite social networking site? Instagram probably
7. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? Dad’s dad was in WW2. Dad fought in Belfast in the 70s I think
8. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? Yeah, I would like $100,000 to magically appear under my mattress.
9. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? Playfully. I stop playing with strays when they get boisterous bc rabies
10. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? Middle-back generally
11. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? Yes, in a few places. I freaking love sleeper trains, I think they’re so fun with a group. On one of the sleeper trains I went on in China we accidentally taught the guy with the food/drink trolley the english word for beer because we bought more every time he went past.
12. Is there currently any caffeine in your system? No
13. Look around, are things organized? Yes, I keep my apartment very tidy.
14. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23
15. Know what you’re planning to do after this? Attempt to kill time for a couple of hours until I can go to bed
16. How often do you update your Facebook status? I don’t really do statuses, just post photos from my instagram.
17. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? All my jeans are of varying levels of skininess. From slim-fit to practically painted on.
18. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Yes. I would have a rum and coke right now but 1) I don’t have any coke, and 2) if I drank any it would take me a long time to get to sleep.
19. How do you usually get around? Walking or metro
20. Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? It would be nice to be fluent in spanish but if it happened magically overnight it wouldn’t be fun because I like the challenge. It would be cool to magically become fluent in arabic and/or mandarin.
21. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No
22. Can you speak any French? No.
23. Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Dozens. I travel a lot.
24. What is in your pocket? Some lint.
25. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? There are certainly some details of my life that I have omitted. Such as some experiences with sex, drugs and alcohol.
26. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? People from that office I briefly worked at. Or probably more recently just random people on the street.
27. Have you ever lived with a friend? Yeah, a few.
28. What are a few of your favorite tv shows? iZombie, Brooklyn 99, Jane The Virgin, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Club De Cuervos, Parks and Rec 29. What kind of socks do you like to wear? Brightly coloured ones with wild patterns 30. Do you have your own house key, and how often do you actually use it? Whenever I need to get into my apartment. (This question must have been written by a teenager)
31. How often do you eat chocolate? Not actually that often. I don’t have as much of a sweet tooth as I did when I was younger. 32. How often do you wash dishes at your house? Every 1-3 days depending on how lazy I am.
33. How much sleep did you get last night? ~7 hours 34. When was the last time you went to a cemetery and why were you there? Last year on halloween myself and a few other drunk people from the party I was at decided to go wander around the nearby cemetery. 35. What were you doing when you heard about the attack on the twin towers? I don’t remember specifically hearing about it. I was only 7 so I wouldn’t really have cared anyway. Mostly what I remember is that they took cartoons off tv to play non-stop news for at least a week. 36. Doesn’t John Mayer suck? I have no opinions on him. 37. When was the last time you saw the sun rise? When I was in Colombia. One night in Cartagena I stayed up with a swedish and a colombian guy chatting in spanish while we watched the sun rise over the river. Then the cops came over and told us to leave.
38. What was the last picture you took? It was of my DS because I started playing pokemon in spanish and I was sending the picture to a couple of friends to say that the pokemon names are still the same in this language.
39. Are there many traffic incidents in your area? I don’t drive anymore so I don’t pay attention. 40. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Probably at some point during travels. I’ve done a lot of weird shit 41. Are you currently downloading anything? No. 42. Does your father have any facial hair? No
43. Have you ever played golf? My mum attempted to get me into golf when I was a kid (maybe young teen?) and I absolutely hated it. It was the most infuriating game I’ve ever played.
44. What was the last tv show you watched an episode of? The Defenders 45. Do you like beer? If so, what’s your favorite brand? Beer is fine. I’m pretty used to Moritz and Estrella Damm because they are common local brands. The fucking worst beer is Balboa in Panama. God it was so awful. Also not a fan of San Miguel which is common across all of spain. 46. Do you feel bad when you throw food out? Yes 47. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? I’ve never waxed. I just shave. 48. What’s your favorite fast food place? I don’t have one. I don’t really eat takeout here. 49. When was the last time you went out for a meal? A few weeks ago. 50. Have you ever been in a car accident? A few minor ones but not while I’ve been driving. 51. What colour shirt are you wearing right now? Navy blue
52. Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach? Y’know I actually don’t think I have... I should get on that.
53. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? I don’t burn anything. That’s a skill, right?
54. When was the last time you went to a campground? That would have been back in April, camping in the Sahara Desert.
55. Do you listen to music while driving? Yes, and I sing along Very Loudly.
56. When was the last time you hung out with people younger than you? I have absolutely no idea.
57. What is the closest blue object to you? Box of tissues on the coffee table.
58. How much did you spend on your last shopping trip? Probably about 25 euros at the grocery store
59. Have you ever gone over your cell phone plan by accident? I used to go over my data limit pretty regularly at my old job.
60. Can you honestly say you’ve been drunk before? Very, and many times. (this question must have been written by a teen)
61. Where did you get your last bruise from? Probably that mystery bruise I got in my armpit in central america. I’m pretty sure I got roofied that night so I don’t remember anything at all but I am still sooooo curious how I got that bruise. Nobody I was with knew how it happened either but then again they were all pretty trashed anyway so even if they saw they might not remember.
62. Are you a person that likes to take chances? Depends. Sometimes I take calculated risks.
63. Would you consider your life to be great right now? Right now it’s pretty mediocre but a month ago it was freaking awesome.
64. Do you remember the dream you had last night? Not exactly but I think it involved me getting tattoos on my arm
65. Do you get emotional easily? I don’t really have emotions tbh
66. Do you get obnoxious when you’re drunk? Nah, I get fun when I’m drunk
67. Who was the first person to ever give you flowers? I’m not sure anybody has ever given me flowers.
68. What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? Chicken and veggies to go with my baked potato the other day
69. Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? No.
70. What was the last flavor of ice cream you had? Mango. It was homemade by a woman in Comuna 13 in Colombia 71. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? Beer or rum and coke 72. Is there a trash can near you? Yeah
73. When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? I think I took a selfie in my kitchen a few days ago 74. When was the last time you stayed up throughout the entire night? Cartagena, Colombia. ~8 weeks ago. But I stayed up until 2 or 3am a few times after that.
75. Have you ever considered a foreign-exchange program? No, I just fucked off overseas on my own accord.
76. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? Yep 77. What’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born? I know literally nothing about the region I was born in.
78. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? Well I definitely didn’t expect to learn spanish 79. Is there a subject about which you know a great deal? Probably, but nothing immediately comes to mind 80. What was the last thing that you put off doing? I should probably vacuum and mop my apartment 81. What did you do instead of that activity? Anything else.
Before and after: 3 years ago, today
82. What size is the last bed you kissed on? - Double. - A single bed in a twin room in a hotel. Tbh I probably could have swapped to a double room but at that point I didn’t realise he’d be staying with me
83. When was the last time you were sick? - I got the flu pretty bad in 2013. Probably should have gone to hospital but instead I only took 2 days off work. - I had a mild cold when I got home from my last trip. 84. Do you have any summer plans yet? - I ditched summer in favour of going skiing in Japan - Summer just ended. I don’t know whether my next summer will be here next June/July, or back in Aus in January. Will depend on whether I find a job 85. When was the last time you shaved your legs? - Probably within 2 weeks - Earlier today 86. Is there someone you wish you were closer with? - I think I had just started developing a crush on a guy that I later dated briefly and then he cheated on me, lied about it and broke up with me by facebook message while I was on holiday overseas. So, not the best idea really. - I’m all g. 87. Do you tend to waste a lot of money? - I made 1 or 2 poor decisions with money but I was earning enough to cover my ass. - It’s not a waste when it’s something I actively want to spend the money on. 88. What did you last drink? - Probably pepsi - Orange juice 89. Have you ever received an injury from a hook up? - Uhhh no? - Not unless that’s how I got that mystery bruise in my armpit. 90. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? - Yes - Yes, the same ones 91. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? - Probably around this time 3 years ago was my housewarming - I have never had more than 2 people visit this apartment at a time. Last time I had a crowd would have been my moving out party (from the place I just moved into 3 years ago) which was a bit over a year ago.
92. How many cell phones have you had? - 5 - 7, if you include the work phone I had 93. Where do you get all your clothes? - JayJays - H&M, C&A, Mango etc 94. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? - Nah - Nah 95. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? - No. - I got one just under 3 years ago 96. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? - Alone - Depends. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind having someone here 97. Do you think age matters in relationships? - To an extent - Not really 98. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? - No. - No 99. When will your next kiss be? - Probably the next party I went to. I made out with a lot of people that year - No idea 100. Add up all the digits of your cell phone number. What do you get? - 40 - 50 101. When you lost your virginity, do you honestly feel like you were ready? - I didn’t regret it but I probably wasn’t emotionally ready for it. - Same as above I guess. You only lose it once.
102. Was the person you lost your virginity to younger or older than you? - Older. - ^^
103. Were you sexually experienced whatsoever when you lost your virginity? - Not at all - ^^
104. Have you had sex with more than one person? - Yes - Yes by a larger amount
105. Have you ever had sex with the lights on? - Yes. - Yes
106. Have you ever had sex on a floor? - No - Yes
107. When is the last time you had sex? - Probably like at least 6 months before - About a month ago (can’t believe my trip ended so long ago)
108. Do you care for that person? - Eh - I guess
109. Is this your boyfriend or girlfriend? - No - No
110. The first time you got drunk, how old were you? - 16 - ^^
111. Where were you located the first time you got drunk? - The afterparty of my highschool formal. It was in the backyard of a girl in my grade - ^^
#other potential titles:#From slim-fit to practically painted on#Very and many times#I just fucked off overseas on my own accord
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Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.
I got tagged by @flyingcatstiel eyyyyy :D This got a bit long so I’m putting the bulk behind the cut.
1. How many languages do you speak? List them, even if still learning or already forgetting.
Just English and Malay! I don’t think handfuls of phrases in other languages count.
2. Favorite Dean/Cas moment on the show?
ONLY ONE? If I have to pick then I’ll pick that it’s the bit between Dean and (our) Cas at the end of 5.04- The End, with the way they were just so damn relieved to see each other, when by all accounts they were just starting to figure out their friendship/allyship with Cas as an independent-from-Heaven agent (boy did that have its ups and downs from that season onward). As it is, that sequence is just brimming with affection and understated comfort in the other’s presence, where there’s no demands for answers or explanations from each other. There’s just the look, the smiles, the touch, and that “Don’t ever change” line which I reckon pretty much assured that Cas would from then on always be changing in every arc and action.
3. Favorite fanfic tropes in destiel fics?
I know I’m going to think of more in the days after I post this, so I’m going to limit myself to three tropes. (1) Unreliable narrators in the situation where the POV character has no idea that the other character fancies them and keeps misunderstanding what the other one is doing. Bonus difficulty: the other character likes the POV character before the POV character likes them back, i.e. the bulk of the story’s pining is external. Is there a shorthand for this? Basically, like Pride & Prejudice, is what I’m saying, but not necessarily an antagonistic relationship to start with, if they’re friends that’s good, too! (2) REUNIONS. GIVE ME ALL THE REUNIONS. Especially well-paced reunions where the characters are !!!! but don’t fall back together easily. (3) For AUs, non-human Cas is my jam, be it animal AUs or creature AUs, and I like all sorts of variations but I tend to have a soft spot for creature!Cas with human Dean.
4. Fruit or vegetable you don’t like (mango is not an acceptable answer, pick another one)
I dislike taugeh with a passion. NO BEAN SPROUTS.
Edit: I FORGOT, I HATE CARROTS MORE THAN I HATE BEAN SPROUTS. NO CARROTS
5. Tell me about a destiel fic you’ve read recently and really enjoyed. [please include title, author and link]
Not including of the tumblr ficlets I’ve read here and there, the last long fic I read was Angel Cookies by noxsoulmate, which was written for the recent Destiel Harlequin challenge and I swear had me cackling loudly every other chapter and flashing back to the iddy joy I got from secretly reading some of my aunts’ Harlequin books (the good ones). It knocks some of my hotbuttons right on.
6. Which one of your own (recent) fan works (fic, art, gif set, vid, side blog, etc) you are proud of? If you don’t have any, give a shout out to a (recent) fan work that you really loved. [any fandom, please include title, creator and link]
Sorry, this is not Dean/Cas! I’m really tickled by my MCU Steve/Tony pair ‘o fics under the Guys and Dolls title, because this is the answer I gave to an ask about a year before. Basically, I’ve read a lot of Steve/Tony fics and at the time didn’t feel I could ever write it because of the sheer amount of extra canon that exists, but in the end what tipped me over is A MIGHTY NEED to write what I, specifically, wanted to read.
7. Recommend me a new TV show to take my mind of SPN. Tell me why it will help.
I really enjoyed The Good Place, a fantasy-comedy that comes in 13 bite-sized episodes (20+ minutes each) and clips along at a brisk pace in its first season (second season hasn’t started yet). The story’s about a woman who, after dying, ends up in the Good Place due to a clerical error (OR IS IT) because she’d been a terrible person while she was alive. It’s funny and light viewing, and with some drama kicking in when the plot thickens about halfway through. DON’T LOOK FOR SPOILERS, OR THE WIKI SUMMARY.
8. Are you going to watch season 13 of Supernatural? If not, when did you stop watching the show? (I’d love to know why but you don’t have to justify your decision)
I’ll probably watch whatever episodes sound really worth my while, like I watched Baby back in season 11, but other than that, I’ll probably just keep up with the show via my dash. I can’t actually remember when I stopped watching the show week to week since it tapered off, but my interest plummeted once Kevin died, so it must’ve been late season 9, or early season 10.
9. Cats or dogs?
Dogs are fine but I’m a cat person. MAO MAO MAO this is my cat
10. What is your happy ending for Cas on the show?
If you mean an ending as in the Cas’ fate in the final episode of the show and implied beyond, I’d be most pleased if he is alive and healthy and has finally found a solid purpose that does not involve him being manipulated by any external party. Ideally, I’d love for him to take on a role that Ellen and Bobby used to have, or Jody now has, as a stable return point and a source of wisdom and security, not just for the Winchesters but for others as well.
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Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.
Note: posting this again because the first time I did it wrong. Lmao! Sorry. Hope this time it’s ok.
Tagged by @flyingcatstiel - thank you darling!
1. How many languages do you speak? List them, even if still learning or already forgetting.
I speak 4 languages, spanish, english, french and portuguese. Spanish and english I think I know them well especially the first one I hope! Although I’m always learning more english every time I can because I tend to type whatever comes to my mind really fast and I’m full of typos (sorry). I’m still learning Portuguese, and I’m starting to forget French sadly, I can read it and listen to it and understand a little but speaking it is becoming hard.
2. Favorite Dean/Cas moment on the show?
This is very very hard, I used to love them so much on the show! And now I found them so ... nothing..... so depressing. But well to answer the question I guess I like all the little moments from season 4 and five. Like them sitting on that park, having Cas confessing that he has doubts, the phone conversation on My Bloody Valentine when Cas appears at the morgue, Cas letting Dean know that an archangel is protecting Chuck, almost all the moments from “Free to be you and me”, the “Cas, personal space” moment, the fbi badge incident (the first time, the second was just lame writing to make Cas appear dumb). There are a lot! But from those two seasons mainly, I have a few faves from season 8 (the hug in purgatory of course), but it’s all tainted by how Dean treated the whole crazy!Cas debacle. Let’s say that after season 6 I became the bitter Cas fan that I am today.
3. Favorite fanfic tropes in destiel fics?
Ohhh, I love rom coms! I only read aus so the rom com trope is on my top five. I love misunderstandings like in Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake by Sparseparsley. I love Au!angel Cas, gedry on LJ has a lot of them, they are old, buy sooo good, it’s a shame we don’t have more from her. And above all I love bamf!Cas give me give me give me! Example: The Team by palominopup.
4. Fruit or vegetable you don’t like (mango is not an acceptable answer, pick another one)
Mmm I don’t know. Maybe avocado? Don’t kill me! But I tried it so many times, and was like meh! Mango, I love though.
5. Tell me about a destiel fic you’ve read recently and really enjoyed. [please include title, author and link]
I’m re reading old ones lately because I couldn’t find anything new to really enjoy. BUT, you rec Angel Cookies by noxsoulmate and it was such an amazing surprise! Everyone go read it, it was great!
6. Which one of your own (recent) fan works (fic, art, gif set, vid, side blog, etc) you are proud of? If you don’t have any, give a shout out to a (recent) fan work that you really loved. [any fandom, please include title, creator and link]
I love 99% of the fics by palominopup, she is amazing, I’m waiting for her to finish her last one to read something new, because I don’t read wips.
In art I fell in love with Cas with Brilcrist work, sadly she deleted a lot of her spn stuff, but what you can find is amazing. But she is my favourite spn artist, although it’s not recent.
7. Recommend me a new TV show to take my mind of SPN. Tell me why it will help.
I will always recommend Brooklyn 99, it’s not new, and it’s a comedy, but it’s amazing imho. Out of the really new tv shows, not much to recommend, I watched a lot of pilots and it was all meh. I watch two realities that I always come back to, because it takes my mind out of things, Face Off, about fx and make up artists, zero drama and only work. And Project Runway, that yes, it has some drama, but I love Tim Gunn and the new season is amazing.
8. Are you going to watch season 13 of Supernatural? If not, when did you stop watching the show? (I’d love to know why but you don’t have to justify your decision)
Idk, and if I do watch it would only be the episodes when Cas is in, so I guess not a lot to watch there. I only watched spn for Cas tbh, I stopped watching mid season 6 when it all became too painful, after that I stopped watching for a few months again and then returned but only for the Cas’ eps. I hate the show. I hate what they did to Cas, what they did to deancas, and I hate how out of touch with reality the writers are. They are writing a two mains show, when 99% of the shows now on tv are ensemble casts. Above all things I hate the homophobic, misogynist, racist that is Robert Singer, and how his views translate into the show. Spn had the opportunity to be epic, now is just some show everyone complains about.
9. Cats or dogs?
I like both, but I’m a cat person forever and ever.
10. What is your happy ending for Cas on the show?
Cas in a motorcycle, being human or not, happy with who he is and putting himself first, riding into the sunset :D. But seriously though, Idk, the show surely destroyed Cas, I don’t know if there can be a happy ending for him at this point, sadly. But if something that I’m sure I want for Cas is to be at peace with his decisions and to find a place to love, and people to love him back.
My questions, mmm let’s see...
1.What other shows you watch?
2.What is the most amazing place you’ve been to? It doesn’t have to be somewhere exotic, but a place you felt happy to be at.
3.Do you think deancas still have a chance to be together? Or the ship is already dead, killed by the writers and producers (and you know the actor that says it doesn’t exist? (skip this one if you don’t care one way or another)
4.Please recommend me some books? Fanfiction has taking my life, I need to read other stuff too.
5.Pet peeves?
6.What movie can you watch over and over without ever getting tired of?
7.If you could have a soundtrack for your life, what songs would be on it?
8.Where do you think spn stands now? Is still a good show? It entertains you? Or gets you more mad than happy?
9.If you can have a superhero power what would you choose? Why?
10.What movie/tv show did you think was going to be amazing but turned out to be horrible?
Tagging a few people, @zeeimpalaangel @lldyj @bitemyholyass @haven3333 and Idk if you guys want to answer anything about spn but I’m tagging you because curious! if you do @goldmetalvictor and @deathtwonormalcy
#tag game#this was an exercise in everything#lmao#but it was good#I'm bad at tag games because I take an eternity to write stuff#without an edition capability It's difficult stuff#thanks for tagging me#about me#personal#sorry about the typos#here we go again#lets see if I got it right this time
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Tagged!
Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.
I was tagged by the awesome @flyingcatstiel to answer some questions so HERE I GO
1. How many languages do you speak? List them, even if still learning or already forgetting.
Okay, in order of spoken most to spoken least: Italian, French, Spanish, Turkish, Indonesian, Russian. my Turkish is not strong and below Turkish we start to get very rudimentary, but I’m learning! I also have a smattering of German, and I can read Portuguese and Latin pretty well but I can’t speak them.
2. Favorite Dean/Cas moment on the show?
Oh, man. OK, I’m gonna go with The Crypt Scene, closely followed by the hug in Purgatory. *clutches chest*
3. Favorite fanfic tropes in destiel fics?
to read, it’s probably.... fake dating. dear lord I love me some fake dating with a heavy side of mutual pining and if there’s bedsharing WHILE pining then I’m out for the count. actually, writing that is awesome, too...
4. Fruit or vegetable you don’t like (mango is not an acceptable answer, pick another one)
Why do I feel called out by this question?? OK, OK, we’ll go with kiwi fruits, then. though I’m not too hot on pineapples either. :D
5. Tell me about a destiel fic you’ve read recently and really enjoyed. [please include title, author and link]
I recently started reading the new chapter of The Owl Prince by K_K_TiBal on AO3, and gosh do I love that story. The Swan Princess AU I have always needed. <3
6. Which one of your own (recent) fan works (fic, art, gif set, vid, side blog, etc) you are proud of? If you don’t have any, give a shout out to a (recent) fan work that you really loved. [any fandom, please include title, creator and link]
I’m proud of how True as it Can Be, the Beauty and the Beast AU fic I wrote for the DeanCas Reverse Bang, came out!! I worked super hard on it and I love love loved writing it. :D
7. Recommend me a new TV show to take my mind off SPN. Tell me why it will help.
I’m gonna go with... The Great British Bake Off. it’s just... it’s light and fluffy and happy and you get so into it. and the two hosts are awesome, honestly Sue Perkins has been something of a queer idol for me since forever, so just. JUST TRY IT OK season 6 is my fave!! if you’re wanting to try it, start with season 6.01. merry and delicious distraction guaranteed.
8. Are you going to watch season 13 of Supernatural? If not, when did you stop watching the show? (I’d love to know why but you don’t have to justify your decision)
I’m intrigued by the concept of the parallel universe that seems to be going on, so I will probably check out the first episode, at least! that said, I felt the same way about demon!dean and then was disappointed by the execution. I stopped watching regularly partway into season nine... I love these characters so much and I felt like the writing was doing them such continual disservices that I found myself annoyed after each episode rather than enjoying it. hence, I retreated into fandom and enjoy the characters here instead! ;D (I did watch one ep of the eleventh season, though, Baby, which I thought was magnificent.)
9. Cats or dogs?
both? both. both is good.
10. What is your happy ending for Cas on the show?
ooooh, tricky question!! I’ve literally been thinking about this for about 20 minutes now. I think what I’d really like for Cas is... an uncomplicated villain. as in, an antagonist who is unquestionably in the wrong, hard to beat, absolutely evil, and very powerful. I’d love to see Cas go up against something like that and just be able to throw his whole self into the fight, pitch all his skills and might into that battle without having to doubt himself morally about it. just go all out. I want him to save so many lives and I want him to win, obviously, with the help of Dean and Sam, who he’ll have asked for help. the entire thing would fill his mind, and he’d be able to sort of... expunge himself? it’d be hard, but I think it’d feel like a penitence, and when he was done, I think he’d feel strong and washed a little cleaner. that’d be the happy ending. it’d be like Purgatory on Earth, I suppose? and yes, I do definitely want it to come with the requisite Dean/Cas Purgatory moments, because... I super think that Cas is in love with Dean, and I think that their togetherness would be a huge part of his happiness.
And now my questions!!!
1. Which fictional character would you most like to be friends with? 2. Which fictional universe would you most like to be a background character in? 3. If you were a flavour of ice cream, which one would you be? 4. What’s a sentence you’ve never written before? 5. If you could show me one of your memories, which one would it be? 6. If you had an aura, what colour would it be? 7. Space or sea? 8. What are you most proud of right now? 9. In the middle of the road, you find what you’ve always been hoping for. What is it? 10. What’s your favourite word to say out loud?
I’m tagging @perdizzion, @thebloggerbloggerfun, @destieldrabblesdaily, @purgatory-jar, @linneart, @casthewise, @crxstalcas, @mad-the-swine, @shieldmaidenofsherwood, @midnightwings--honeybees, @iffeelscouldkill and @zcnorth <3 also, back at u @flyingcatstiel!!
#tag games for ts#long post for ts#no pressure you guys!!!#tag me if you answer the questions though#I'm super intrigued to hear your answers#<3333
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a load of tags! ✨🌟☀️
lmao i was busy doing uni stuff but now i finally got round to these so Enjoy !
obviously u don’t have to do all of them just do whatever u feel u kno? anyway
i’m tagging u all up here lmao so i’m tagging @namsieur @wingscomeback @sugaegyc @sugasideup @sheloveskook @cryptidhobi @gaycypher @namjooniewifey @iluwonho @jiminsarroz @stigmz @dreamjimn @mochiminii let me know if u don’t want to be tagged in stuff like this !!
get to know me tag
answer the 20 questions and tag 20 followers that you would like to know better.
i was tagged by @monnyoongi thank u zuza!
name: alice
nickname: i don’t really like any of my nicknames? lmao
zodiac sign: cancer
height: 5′8″
orientation: A Whole Bi
nationality: british
favourite fruit: mangos!
favourite season: either summer or autumn
favourite flower: either roses or tulips
favourite scent: like just a fresh summer evening lmao
favourite colour: pink, red + orange
favourite animal: sharks !
average hours of sleep: i think 9?
favourite fictional character: clarice bean
number of blankets you sleep with: always just the one
dream trip: either dubrovnik, mykonos or the amalfi coast
blog created: last april
get to know me again
rules: answer 30 questions & tag 20 blogs you would like to know better
tagged by @yoongicrew thank u rena !!
1. nicknames: still none lol
2. gender: female
3. star sign: cancer
4. height: 5′8″
5. time: 4:24 pm
6. birthdate: july 21st
7. fave band(s): bts, blackpink, red velvet, lany
8. fave solo artist: gallant, Queen CRJ, kehlani
9. song currently stuck in my head: saw you in a dream - the japanese house
10. last movie watched: spiderman homecoming and i Loved it
11. last show watched: first dates
12. when I created this blog: last april
13. what I post: 95% kpop, 5% aesthetic
14. last thing I googled: “that flute song” still don’t know what the song is. its not mask off tho
15. any other blogs?: my aesthetic blog dadcrisis that i’ve had since like 2012... christ
16. do you get asks?: not very often but its all good
17. why I chose my url: i love mister rap monster
18. following: 919
19. followers: 809
20. fave colours: pink, red, orange
21. average hours of sleep: 9
22. lucky number: 8
23. play any instruments?: drums
24. currently wearing: my pyjamas xoxo
25. how many blankets I sleep with: just one
26. dream job: oh idk. charming radio host probably
27. dream trip: just v scenic places across europe
28. fave food: any cured ham... Hell Yes
29. nationality: british
30. fave song currently: you better know - red velvet
kpop q’s
tagged by @teambusan thank u sabes xoxo
1. who was your first female bias?
i think it was jennie i was very late to girl groups lmao
2. who was your first male bias?
namjoon.... what a guy
3. who are your current biases? other than the above:
johnny, jinjin, rosé, jiwoo, wonpil, dahyun, luna, jooheon, shownu + dean
4. in the entire kpop industry, who is the closest to your ideal type?
probably shownu... like he’s a sweet n humble dad who is just also fine as hell... thats what i’m about ! also jennie like she’s just Gorgeous™ like i would lay down my life for her in a heartbeat tbh
5. have you ever attended any kpop concert / fanmeeting / fan sign?
How Dare You
6. if yes, which group / artist? how was the experience?
i cannot believe this disrespect
7. which group /artist would you like to see live?
bts, blackpink, monsta x. day6 !
8. how did you get into kpop?
my friend showed me fantastic baby (lmao) when we were like 15 and then i dropped it for a bit but then i saw a dance practice for no more dream like last year so now i am Here
9. who are your otps?
whom????
10. when did you start to ship them?
🤔🤔🤔
11. what is your favorite fanfic genre?
honestly i’ll read whatever turns up on my dash as long as it’s not involving furries or anything Truly Nasty
12. what is your favorite music genre?
pop has and always will be my fave but i like other stuff too ofc xoxo
five things tag
Rules: you’ll have to tag 15 people at the end of this challenge
tagged by @cypherpart420 thank u linsey ily!
five things you’ll find in my bag: purse hand sanitiser keys vaseline water
five things you’ll find in my bedroom: Trash Mountain nik naks fan approx. seven 1d posters radio
five things i’ve always wanted to do: go to glasto ! go on a trip just to look at palaces across europe lmao see bts ! adopt 2 dogs and live my best life go somewhere with a really clear view of the stars and just Cry
five things that make me happy: family dogs my pals xoxo listening to music baking
five things i’m currently into: fake nails crafting my Brand lmao big brother hydration arrested development
five things on my to do list: embark on my Fitness Journey get my professional blog going plan what i’m doing for my bday get a skincare routine get money
once again, get to know me
i was tagged by @parkmochibean thanks natasha!
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people
THE LAST: 1. drink: water 2. phone call: my sister 3. text message: my friend explaining exo sub-units to me lmao 4. song you listened to: young & free - xiumin and mark 5. time you cried: probably looking through val from bake off’s insta she’s just the cutest 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yep ! 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: only my whole uni career 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: only twice i know my limits now lmao
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14. pink, red and orange
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: ofc! 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes lmao 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20 found out who your friends are: yes 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no
GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them 23. do you have any pets: no :’( 24. do you want to change your name: no i enjoy her 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went for afternoon tea w my family 26. what time did you wake up: 11am its summer now i do what i want 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: idk chilling i guess 28. name something you can’t wait for: my birthday !! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: idk if i’d been confident Forever i think that would be pretty good? 31. what are you listening to right now: faking it - kehlani, lil yachty, calvin harris 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my older sister she’s just so Loud 34. most visited website: this or youtube 35-37. lost questions?? 38. hair colour: brown 39. long or short hair: i want long but i’ve got medium rn lmao 40. do you have a crush on someone: no 41. what do you like about yourself: i’m good 2 my family and i think i’m quite nice? tbh? 42. piercings: ears + nose 43. bloodtype: idk yikes 44. nickname: none lmao 45. relationship status: Single��� 46. zodiac: cancer 47. pronous: she/her 48. favourite tv show: bojack horseman, rpdr 49. tattoos: just one (1) 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: on my hand and i was awake for it but they played me some 1d so it was chill 52. piercing: ok i literally just answered this 53. sport: thats cute 55. vacation: just various fancy places across europe before brexit ruins that free movement 56. pair of trainers: i only wear my adidas but they’re on the verge of death now rip
MORE GENERAL 57. eating: werthers originals i’m a nan 58. drinking: water 59. i’m about to: go tf to sleep 61. waiting for: my birthday lmao 62. want: money and ideally a job that looks promising 63. get married: Who Can Never Be Sure? 64. career: either radio or social media
WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: hugs 66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: don’t really mind 68. older or younger: older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: also don’t mind lmao 71. sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. hook up or relationship: relationship 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: yes 75. drank hard liquor: yes 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: my first pair of glasses... rip 77. turned someone down: yes 78. sex on the first date: no 79. broken someone’s heart: probs not? i hope not 80. had your heart broken: no 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: yes 83. fallen for a friend: yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: Always ! 85. miracles: sure why not 86. love at first sight: no 87. santa claus: he’s doing his best 88. kiss on the first date: sure 89. angels: idk?
OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: robin 91. eye colour: green/blue 92. favourite movie: i’m basic it’s love actually
shuffle tag
tagged by @kpopeyton thank you !
rules: you can tell a lot about a person based on the type of music they listen to. put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!
wake up alone / amy winehouse
first love / bts
pyramids / frank ocean
i didn’t just come here to dance / carly rae jepsen
girl girl girl / triple h
21st century girl / bts
you better know / red velvet
wolves / one direction
coffee / miguel
view / shinee
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will you do all the numbers of the tag list thingy :)
Kassy: oh my lanta! here we go
Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Kassy: none. if I’m not listening to my iTunes collection, you’ll catch me listening to 8tracks
is your room messy or clean?Kassy: my room is literally a disaster 98% of the time. to be honest, its totally a depression thing.
what color are your eyes?Kassy: every possible shade between blue and grey. My eyes change based on lighting as well as my mood.
do you like your name? why?Kassy: yea sure. it’s somewhat a popular name, but still not one I hear very often. And I spell it differently so Starbucks trips are fun xD
what is your relationship status?Kassy: completely and utterly in love with the most amazing human being on the planet
describe your personality in 3 words or lessKassy: loving, bubbly, soft
what color hair do you have?Kassy: I will suck out your soul xD
what kind of car do you drive? color?Kassy: none, currently. But when I do drive, its my dads grey Ford Focus
where do you shop?Kassy: wherever has what I’m looking for. Got Topic and Forever21 are my biggest go to’s
how would you describe your style?Kassy: I dress for comfort. Leggings 98% of the time and it varies what I’m wearing with them.
favorite social media accountKassy: definitely Tumblr. But snapchat is a close second
what size bed do you have?Queen size. Buuuuuut, when Ryan sleeps over, I really wish I had a king, cause him and Jynx are total bed hogs!!
any siblings?Kassy: One. A brother who is 10.5 years older
if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?Kassy: hmmmmmm..... right where I am. I would say Florida so I’m closer to DisneyWorld, but in all honesty, the travelling there is all part of the fun. I love flying!
favorite snapchat filter?Kassy: its a tossup between the puppy and the snow bunny.
favorite makeup brand(s)Kassy: I’m a complete whore for MAC and Kat Von D. KVD more for everyday wear though
how many times a week do you shower?Kassy: depends on where my depression is sitting, if I’m being honest.
favorite tv show?Kassy: that’s currently on tv? Once Upon A Time
shoe size?Kassy: US woman’s 9
how tall are you?Kassy: 5′8″
sandals or sneakers?Kassy: both. all depends on the time of year
do you go to the gym?Kassy: once in a while. again, all depends on my depression that day
describe your dream dateKassy: being with the person/people I love most. Doesn't matter what we are doing. Just being with him and including him in my life
how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?Kassy: I think probably about $7 in change
what color socks are you wearing?Kassy: I dont really wear socks. I feel super constricted.
how many pillows do you sleep with?Kassy: 4 are on my bed. But I really only sleep with 2
do you have a job? what do you do?Kassy: I’m a preschool teacher
how many friends do you have?Kassy: enough to make my heart feel very full
whats the worst thing you have ever done?Kassy: I can't think of a particular moment, but everyone has rough patches in their lives
whats your favorite candle scent?Kassy: its always between Mango, Vanilla or Peppermint
3 favorite boy namesKassy: James (not even kidding), Kyson and Brayden
3 favorite girl namesKassy: Lily (again I’m literally not even kidding), Addison and Rayden
favorite actor?Kassy: Colin O’Donoghue
favorite actress?Kassy: Jennifer Aniston
who is your celebrity crush?Kassy: its a total toss up between Colin O’Donoghue and Jenson Ackles
favorite movie?Kassy: I actually don't have one. There are just too many amazing movies!!
do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?Kassy: I don't really have a lot of time to read
money or brains?Kassy: brains. because smarts can get riches. Riches can't get smarts.
do you have a nickname? what is it?Kassy: sooooo maaaaany!! Kassasasie, Padfoot, Nala, Kass, Cissy, and too many others
how many times have you been to the hospital?Kassy: too many times to count
top 10 favorite songsKassy: again, theres too many amazing songs in the world. I can't narrow it down to just ten
do you take any medications daily?Kassy: nope!
what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)Kassy: when I was a teenager, it was combination, but now its dry
what is your biggest fear?Kassy: being alone
how many kids do you want?Kassy: ideally, 2 that are biologically mine. But I do want 3 kids
whats your go to hair style?Kassy: thrown back into a ponytail. Cant take that dance life away from me lmao
what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)Kassy: its a townhouse. I can't say size though because big and small are all based on perception
who is your role model?Kassy: myself in 10 years
what was the last compliment you received?Kassy: my parents and I went out to dinner 2 weeks ago and I felt super ugly that day. hair was gross and pulled back, no makeup, sweats, I was sick. And the waitress told me that I was gorgeous
what was the last text you sent?Kassy: to Ryan telling him that I love him
how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?Kassy: I never really “found out”. I just kinda grew up and knew. No omg moment or anything.
what is your dream car?Kassy: honestly, the biggest inhumanity to the earth and my pocket on gas... lmao a Jeep Wrangler.
opinion on smoking?Kassy: I suggest not doing it. It’s super bad for your health. But I mean, I used to smoke... so like, I don't want to say anything hypocritical? lol but yea, make good choices
do you go to college?Kassy: not at the moment
what is your dream job?Kassy: stay at home mom, honestly. but economy can't support that. So exactly what I'm doing
would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?Kassy: Rural. I absolutely need to be surrounded with city lol
do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?Kassy: answered already
do you have freckles?Kassy: NOOOOOOOOOOO :(
do you smile for pictures?Kassy: yep. not with teeth all the time though.
how many pictures do you have on your phone?Kassy: 1,517. There are a lot of screenshots and useless things I need to delete lol
have you ever peed in the woods?Kassy: not in the woods, but in a forrest
do you still watch cartoons?Kassy: Disney Girl for life!
do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?Kassy: McD’s
Favorite dipping sauce?Kassy: either ranch or plum sauce
what do you wear to bed?Kassy: underwear and a tank top
have you ever won a spelling bee?Kassy: I live for autocorrect, so nope lmao
what are your hobbies?Kassy: this lmao thats it
can you draw?Kassy: absolutely not
do you play an instrument?Kassy: piano
what was the last concert you saw?Kassy: Demi Lovato/Nick Jonas
tea or coffee?Kassy: tea, all the way
Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?Kassy: we don't have Dunkin, so Starbucks
do you want to get married?Kassy: yep! Hopefully in the next few years
what is your crush’s first and last initial?Kassy: K but you don't need to know the last initial
are you going to change your last name when you get married?Kassy: 100%!! That is honestly one of the things I’m most excited about
what color looks best on you?Kassy: purple
do you miss anyone right now?Kassy: le boyfriend
do you sleep with your door open or closed?Kassy: answered
do you believe in ghosts?Kassy: I believe in spirits, yes
what is your biggest pet peeve?Kassy: I have many lol
last person you called`Kassy: Moony
favorite ice cream flavor?Kassy: either Reese’s, cookie dough or mint chocolate chip
regular oreos or golden oreos?Kassy: Regular
chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?Kassy: RAINBOWWWW
what shirt are you wearing?Kassy: just a tan coloured tank top
what is your phone background?Kassy: fan art of James and Lily
are you outgoing or shy?Kassy: I like to think equal parts of both
do you like it when people play with your hair?Kassy: no, not really
do you like your neighbors?Kassy: he's an airline pilot so I’ve never met him cause he's rarely home
do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?Kassy: this is terrible, but nope lol
have you ever been high?Kassy: its how I survived high school to be honest
have you ever been drunk?Kassy: too often
last thing you ate?Kassy: dinner which was a rice dish my mom makes
favorite lyrics right nowKassy: the chorus to fight song
summer or winter?Kassy: if its what this winter was like, then that!
day or night?Kassy: day. not a fan of the dark. too much anxiety
dark, milk, or white chocolate?Kassy: white. Im allergic to the others
favorite month?Kassy: October
what is your zodiac signKassy: Pisces
who was the last person you cried in front of?Kassy: Ryan
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