#but not having it is also making me anxious

[eloquentlytired]

— when the time comes, part two

pairing: logan howlett x gn! reader

part one is here

drabble,fluff, wade is briefly here <3 and blind al (slay)

summary: perhaps logan’s wish to find you in a different timeline comes true. and this time he doesn't only find you, but wade as well.

author’s note: I was wondering if I should add laura somehow to this scene but I think it came out perfect like this! what if I make a part three for the dinner/table scene where they're all together with wade though enjoy babies !!! this low-key made me cryyy... as always reblogs & likes & conversations are sooo welcome ^_^

“this is logan.”

you turn around as wade’s voice echoes within the small apartment. you'd been roommates for a while since you both were struggling with rent and this sort of arrangement had been quite beneficial. your friendship with wade had flourished in no time and you had somehow managed to become less anxious with his help, always having silly laughs and finding nice things even in the toughest situations.

you begin moving away from the kitchen area as you hear a dialogue going on — wade, al and a voice that didn't remind you of anything.

“finally, sweet cheeks. thought i’d have to start a new pissing ritual for you to show up!” wade chimes while placing a hand on his hip and looking straight at you. Whatever follows after, it never reaches your ears.

you stand there frozen, spatula falling from your hands, as your gaze stares at the man behind wade. you don’t know him but at the same time you do. that messy hair, that beard and those eyes. whoever that man was, he must have felt what you were feeling as he also stills by wade’s side. the silence that follows is long and awkward for the others but not for you and this man; at least that's what wade points out and ruins the moment. “right. if you're done eye fucking each other — and by the way sweet cheeks I thought we had something special — but yes if you're done..” wade walks towards you and gently pushes the goofiest dog ever in your hands. what the fuck?

“—I have a bath to run. gotta get those pores unclogged before my big party.” you tried to protest but wade was already gone and al was leaving as well, muttering something about holy sugar time.

the pair of eyes across you never leave yours. you stare back at the strange man named logan; at least that's what you'd heard wade call him. “I...nice to meet you.” you finally whisper while slowly setting the dog down, your hand instinctively reaching towards logan. the taller man leans forward as well and holds your hand, shaking it in the process. “i’m logan. thanks for having me.” he murmurs and for a man his size, you didn't anticipate such simplicity and gentleness in his voice. your eyes fill with unshed tears and for an unknown reason logan reaches out to wipe them away before they stain your cheeks. you shudder at the strange familiarity of those warm digits upon your skin. logan swallows thickly. “do I know you?” he asks and you look at him with wide, sparkly eyes. you were the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. “it feels like it, doesn't it?” was the only reply you could offer him as he nods.

a moment passes. then two. logan drops his hand from your face, realizing the boundaries he's crossing. not that you really minded his touch. you quickly compose yourself and wipe the remaining wetness from your face before shifting your gaze in between logan and the kitchen.

“are- are you hungry,logan?” you suddenly ask, your voice kind of shaky.

the surprise on his face lasts briefly before a small but genuine smile settles on his features. “yeah. starving actually.” you chuckle. he does too.

as logan follows you into the kitchen, and despite wade’s awful singing coming from the bathroom, you think about the cheapest bed you can buy tomorrow for the third addition in your family.

[luludeluluramblings]

Dick Grayson's Obsession with Smalltown!Reader

A/N: Why dialogue hard? Why so hard? Y'all I tried, once again. I saved Dick for last because I really really really did not want to screw up his character. I did end up adding a scene from Part Seven in here. Just to give it some pizzazz.

A/N: Part Eight is in the works, but it’s either gonna be massive or I’m going to have to divide it up. Also, people be posting so straight up fire in the Yandere Bat tags lately. Good stuff, I needed that.

Warnings: Yandere themes, physical affection.

Out of everyone, Dick was the most enthusiastic about Reader coming to Wayne manor, while also being the most melancholic. The tragedy of their arrival wasn't lost on him, despite the thrill he had over the thought of having another person to add to hi life. Already, the need and wanted to smoother them in comfort and care was there. But, the life experiences he had allowed him to realize it was probably best not to overwhelm them.

Therefore, it came out in short burst of staggering affection at times. But, only when he was visiting. (There was no denying the fact that he was extremely tempted to call them on the phone just to make sure they were settling in just fine. And, that he fought that temptation every single night.)

That didn't stop him from feeling some minor annoyance with Bruce for keeping the fact that they existed a secret. Dick had seen the affects of this life and even felt them, but to let the family nearly miss out on something so honeyed with normalcy was cruel. (It would have been preferred if they didn't have to lose their parents in order to join the rest of the family, but it was hard to think like with how busy his schedule was and soft they felt in his arms.)

Admittedly he may have latched on to them too hard in the beginning. They felt stiff the first time his arms wrapped around them. The guilt of it gurgled in his throat, which is why he cut it short and went about his business. But, he couldn't stop the urge to do so each time they crossed each other's paths in the manor halls.

And, much to his glee, they start to soften. Slowly, but surly, they start to cling to him a little longer when his arms wrap around them. They start to depend on him. For once the thought of someone so conventional depending on him as Dick rather than as Nightwing, because everyone seems to depend on him as Nightwing, doesn't fill him with anxiety. It makes his chest flutter in a different way. Not with anxious butterflies, but with a flicker of a warmth.

It's completely innocent, the way the craving starts. He has to talk himself out of rearranging his entire schedule to be around them. Especially after the kidnapping incident. But, the Rouge break out gives him plenty of work to distract himself, and more frequent chances to find them in the manor for a dose of his new source of comfort.

His feelings finally start to become clear when rather than holding him longer and tighter, they finally reach for him themselves.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

“And, how is my favorite person today?” Already Dick has his arms opened wide for you when you walk out of the kitchen. He always appears from the depths of the manor, before he wraps around you like a slow creeping vine blooming with all sorts of sentiments.

"Alfred was doing good last I saw." But, by now you've grown to appreciate the way the tendrils curl around your limbs and burrow themselves into you. A small grin forming on your face at the chance to finally have someone to talk to, even if he isn't consistent company.

"Alfred isn't my favorite person, and you know it." The banter between them enjoyable and the undertones of his words ignorable in your obliviousness. "But, seriously, how are you doing today? You look like you have something on your mind. If it is you can tell me, you know that right?" The concern pouring put of his lips, as his grip tightens.

He had seen you through the cameras and had overheard the longing phone calls. The fact that your birthday was coming up had crossed his mind, and the realization that this would be your first without your parents did register in his brain. (But, it would also be you first with them. With him.) Bringing it up to you seemed like a bad idea. But, he would still try to encourage you to spill your feelings to him.

"No, no. It's nothing I promise." Your reply was soft and dismissive. But, the dishonesty was noticeable in it still.

Dick's arms seemed to tighten around you as you spoke, as if he was trying to decode the root of your troubles from the way your heart was beating against his chest. Eventually, he does loosen his limbs around you.

As he looks down, you known and he knows you’re lying. For a moment you think he going to push. To try to choke the words out of your lungs with another tight squeeze. But, he doesn't. Instead he lets you breathe.

"Okay," is all he says.

No extra nor unnecessary words. No constant reassurance that he'll always be there for you. Just a single word and the room to breathe. Those other things have already been said. Multiple times, in fact.

It's this one instance where he lets you breath that somehow gives you lungs the air it needs to blurt out what's bothering you as he pulls away.

"I wanna go home." The words escape your lips when you finally exhale and reach for him. The words coarse. "I just really want to go home for a bit. I miss home. I miss my family. I just—“

Dick doesn't even let you get halfway before he's enveloping you again. A slight tremble in his hands as he sprouts around you once more.

This. This is what he's wanted. You coming to him with your raw feelings. And, he knows he's the first person you've said this to at all.

"How can I help you?" He asks instead of questioning the statement.

"Can you help me convince Bruce to let me go, please, Dick?” The tentative way you ask and look up at him has him caving immediately.

"Of course!" Perhaps it was a good thing you didn't grow up in Wayne manor. If Bruce hadn't spoiled you, he most definitely would have. "I'll bring it up to B as soon as he gets back."

"He's gone?" You hadn't been informed of him even leaving, but then again, you were hardly every informed about anything it seems.

"Yeah, work emergency. It wasn't a big deal, but he'll be back soon." Dick can sense the mild tone shift, but manages to shift it back to something more lighthearted. "I'll make sure to butter him up for you. I swear. Puppy-dog eyes and everything."

It works, because before he can even clutch you to his chest you already wrapped your arms around his torso and pulled yourself towards him. Just the way you hug him tells him how genuine this type of embrace is. This is how you hold people. And, now, this is how you hold him.

"Thank you, Dick. Thank you." Comes your muffled reply into his chest.

The way you nuzzle into him like that's where you belong, because that's where you do belong, and the way you say his name causes his heart to melt. And, his mind to slowly sinks into the puddle it became.

Dick could stay like this for hours, but you start to pull away after a solid minute.

"I should let you get going. I know you got a lot of stuff to do." Your words sound so hopeful and understanding as you him go. The way you look up at him like he is your hero just for this simple small thing is touching.

Inwardly, he curses. The criminals of Gotham. The criminals of Blüdhaven, the team, the family, his schedule. Everything. He curses it all for that moment, because he could be holding you to his chest longer and having you look up at him like that instead. But, he lets it pass. He manages to let it go just as you pull away.

"Yeah, I do. But, don't think I'm going to brush off helping my favorite person in the world." Plastering on a well practiced pretty smile as he speaks.

"So, that means you got somebody more important off world? I see how it is." You tease in return as you fall for the practiced charm.

"Maybe." Dick lets the banter easy his mind. In reality, even off this world, you're probably his favorite, still. It should scare him, but it doesn't. "I'll let you know how Bruce takes the request. But, I'm prepared to sneak you out of here if necessary."

"I'll get the spy music ready, just incase." Things are starting to look up, and it's nice to have someone in your corner in this massive estate.

"Mission Impossible theme?" His grin become less practiced at the thoughts of having an adventure with you.

"Nah, the Pink Panther one. Just for the shenanigans." Your own grin growing wider and wider.

"Now I want to sneak you out just for fun." And, he means it. Already mentally planning your trip back home with him escorting you. And, then you possibly coming and staying in Blüdhaven with him in his guest room. Just to get you out of the manor, of course. Clearly you need it.

He can't ignore the way his pocket keeps buzzing, though. Clearly the others are in the cave waiting for him. But, they can wait a bit longer, he thinks diving in for one last embrace.

As you wholeheartedly reciprocate, he can see one of the secret security camera out the corner of his eye and he can't stop the smug smile from forming on his face as his gives you one last squeeze in front of it.

With the way his phone stills, he can tell the rest of them saw. It's not his fault they're too scared of physical affection to actually hug you. But, it does give him a monopoly on it with you.

As he makes his way down to the Batcave there's a skip in his step and that smug smile is still on his face.

He makes sure to look at everyone's faces as he joins them. Soaking up their envy. All of that wasn't to make them jealous, but it's kind of nice to have.

"Was all that necessary, Grayson?" Damian being the first to break the silence by practically spitting the words out through his gritted teeth. Even with his perfect poster the tension coiling in his limbs is visible to the untrained eye.

"Someone's got to be the one to do it, little D. And, clearly, they needed it." Dick's tone was placating, but his smile wasn't. The way he stands in the center of the room reminiscent of an orchestra conductor.

"Don't use them as an excuse for your touch-starved tendencies, Dick." Barbara retorted, rolling in her chair towards another computer. She immediately began typing on it at a furious pace, clearly trying to distract herself.

"Low blow, Babs." He whistled in return. Everyone else seemed focused on giving him the silent treatment causing his grin to widen further. "I can't help that I'm a naturally-"

"I just texted Bruce about it." Duke suddenly says, looking up from his phone with a smug grin. He face had been blank before, but the way his eyes glanced up at Dick and the others when there heads jerk towards him showed off a hint of self-satisfaction.

"That's cheating." Childishly spills from Dick's mouth. This was suppose to be his favor to them. His. Not anyone else's.

"Bruce doesn't get text while in the Watchtower." Stephanie points out while uncurling from her seat, but the damage is done.

"Could we contact Father in the Watchtower?" Damian practically leaps from his seat and rushes to the Batcomputer where Tim sits. Alliances quickly being drawn up.

"He'd be pissed if we contacted him for something like this." Jason adds with a grin. He doesn't bother looking up from cleaning his guns, just not at all bothered by the prospect of pissing Bruce off.

"But, then message would be logged into the League data base." Comes Barbara's stern voice from her computer, her typing coming to a pause. Tim still keeps at whatever he was working on before Dick walked into the cave, but on the screen there is a flash of airline websites so it's fairly easy to conclude what his plan of persuasion is.

Cassandra watches the exchange reading the emotions through everyone's movements. Silently, she throws her bid in as well. Choosing to slide over to Stephanie and signing the making of a plan.

From there it spirals into an all out argument between each and every member of the family. Debating logistics and exchanging petty insults that seems to go on for hours. Hardly anything gets done while words are being thrown around like bullets.

In the back of his mind, Dick once again curses everyone and everything for ruining this for him. But, he reassures himself, the banter from earlier comes back to him.

It's a decent plan, he thinks. Sneaking Reader out of the manor. Convincing Bruce would be ideal, but it wouldn't be the first time he's broken the rules. And, it's for their happiness and well being. They need him. They asked him for his help. Not the other's. Not anyone else's. His. Bruce will understand.

Besides, it would be nice to see the Smalltown they grew up in. It sounds like a quaint little place. What could possibly be wrong with it?

[jun3ee]

Just a couple minutes (B.K)

A/N: My personal apology for not writing bill smut, this is maybe my second time, so don’t be afraid to tell me how I did! ALTHOUGH, don’t go too harsh on me 🙂‍↕️ (Making a Tom ver soon if you freaks want 1) Sub! Bill (nb-reader) it’s also a short ass fic so I’m sry (NOT PROOFREAD)

(MDNI) ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈੈ✩‧₊˚

“L-Liebe”

Bill whimpers as you kiss him, getting him worked up before he goes on that big stage again for the last performance. Hearing the people outside continuously yell how much minutes left he has left, but frankly you dont care at all, continuing to straddle his clothed, hard cock as he lets out breathy whines.. Could you help it? Watching the sweat slowly drip down his face after each concert? watching him coming back to the dressing room breathless after performing? the adrenaline pumping in his veins after? Watching him tease you in the crowd by lifting up that shirt of his revealing that sexy tattoo of his, searching through it like a lost puppy trying to find you with those beautiful brown eyes of his that are looking up helplessly into yours right now? Definitely not.

“Out in twenty, Bill!” 

“S-Scheiße” Bill whines, grabbing onto anything as you straddle him, grinding yourself against his clothed cock in those tight black jeans of his, watching the beads of sweat slowly drip down his face as he presses sloppy and needy kisses on your lips, a wet stain already on his boxers from his pre-cum. Watching him tease you on stage carelessly with a little smile on his face was too much, he knew what he was doing, and he knew what he would get for it.

“P-Please Ma-Make me c-” 

Poor Bills cock throbbing and twitching as he breathlessly looks up at you. His voice trembling so cutely, barely coherent words turning into pretty broken whimpers, moans, and cut-off gasps. His hips erratically jerking up and rubbing between your legs as he keeps pressing needy kisses down your neck, his tongue swirling around with yours in a lewd and steamy kiss, the poor boy not even able to express his desperate, throbbing arousal as he grips onto the furniture tightly until his knuckles turn white.

“You wanna cum that badly darling?”

“P-Please” Bill chokes out, “I-Ich werde ein guter Junge sein” He mumbles, pathetically trying to cover his whimpers, anxious to cum in his boxers as he tries holding back for a while although he knew he couldn't for any longer, squirming and turning into a needy mess under you as he grabs your hips. You watch the poor boys face turn into a desperate expression as he bats the tears out of his eyes, rolling them back as you cup his cheek, pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Such a slut.. You like that, hm?” You coo, grinding on him while slightly increasing your speed, he pathetically nods, his eyebrows furrowed with pure lust and need in his eyes, his own words turning into whimpers and whines,

“Use your words” You say, watching Bill let out broken gasps as he throws his hands on your hips,

“I-I’m c-cumming-! ” He chokes out, doing just that. His hot essence bursting through his boxers, his body going limp as he finally reaches his climax, his bottom lip quivering as he completely spaces out…

“W-We still have a little more time d-don’t we?” He whimpers…

[b4ddprincess]

I hope that everyone who reads this feels a little bit of peace of mind. I know how unbearable it is to want to have the life of your dreams right now! That anxiety and despair won't help at all. Nor will continuing to do what doesn't resonate with you, seeing countless success stories and each time trying to do the same as them. It's always like that, right? That's what most of us do, it's like being in a loop, I say this because this year I became pure consciousness several times while trying to induce it, whether through lucid dreams, sleeping affirming, some of the times I just came out of the state of pure consciousness without affirming anything because I felt so peaceful (and it didn't last long either).

Exactly 4 days ago I almost to induce pure consciousness again while listening to this audio that leaves me super relaxed

https://youtu.be/DMQjwuU_4c4

(not that to induce pure consciousness you need something like that, just relax your body and take your focus off thoughts related to anxiety, just relax)

and I relaxed so deeply, I relaxed my body and mind while daydreaming but as soon as I started to feel the symptoms it was so intense, like falling, spinning and being sucked at the same time. and I focused so much on the symptoms that I ended up losing focus and consciousness returned to 3D.

but I remembered when I was a beginner in all this and I read a blog (if I find the link I'll put it here for you)

https://at.tumblr.com/princess200417/697183954837569536/h6gg9e7y98bg

in which the blogger said the following

"Sit down or lay down in the most comfortable position to you

Start breathing in and out slowly and imagine/picture a black space or a black hole or just a black image in general ,so this can help you in feeling closer to void (ofc it's not necessary)

Now start AFFIRMING I'm void or any other blanket void affirmation/affirmations of your personal preference"

She also said to make affirmations during the day, such as "Void is instant easy and simple ," "I am God," and I remembered that when I did this for the first time, I was a little sleepy. All I did was read this blogger's post again, lay down, and close my eyes. I didn't think about anything. All I did was affirm without forcing myself. The symptoms were so intense. However, I wasn't anxious or desperate.

So, I didn't care about the symptoms. I kept affirming. I remember that the way I induced pure consciousness was so fast. I just hadn't affirmed anything because there was nothing I wanted to manifest. Then I just affirmed that I was going to go out, and when I did, I realized that I was still asleep. Then I woke up. Some time later, I did it again and manifested that I was going to pass a very important test for me. And guess what? I passed all the tests.

And now remembering this I feel upset with myself, for having consumed too much and having let things get out of control and become a little difficult. Until a while ago I was telling myself that I would manifest my dream life, but I was always putting it off until tomorrow and it was always like that, 5 months went by while I was procrastinating. Now I realized how much time I wasted, and I feel upset with myself. But I remembered that I have already induced pure consciousness, what is getting in my way is despair and anxiety, but now I will control this and manifest my dream life, I will send you my success story very soon :)

I hope this is like a little warning to everyone who is on this journey, I know that everyone's circumstances may be as difficult as mine, but never give up. Try to stop this despair, focus on who you are. You are gods, the co-creator of your own reality, don't give up and don't put off until tomorrow what you can and have the power to do today!!!

congrats on inducing pure consciousness and passing your exams!! it may not be your dream life, but hey! you still have a testimony to share, and ik you'll share your dream life testimony soon!! 💗💗

just apply your reminders, and ik i'll see your next success story! don't stress urself either! 💞

[pdriesta]

a love like this — 2

an — a series of blurbs based on the main couple of "something real”. if you’re someone that read it, let me know if you have requests <3

masterlist

match days always felt electric. the stadium buzzed with energy, the stands filling up with excited fans, and the players moving about with a kind of nervous anticipation. y/n was always the first to arrive, making sure everything was set, from the physio rooms to the pitchside equipment. there was a routine to it, a rhythm she’d grown accustomed to. but no matter how busy the day got, there was one thing she always looked forward to—seeing jude before the game.

it had become their ritual. no matter what, he would always find her before kickoff, even if it was just for a few stolen seconds.

she stood in the hallway of the facility, away from the noise of the locker room, waiting for him like always. it was their little moment, their quiet ritual before every game. when jude finally appeared, already in his kit, his eyes lit up the second he saw her.

without a word, he closed the distance between them, arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her close. she tilted her head up, meeting his gaze, and he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. it was always quick, always gentle, but enough to calm her nerves and fill him with that final bit of confidence.

“be safe, yeah?” she whispered, her hand resting against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

he smiled down at her, his thumb brushing the side of her hip. “always. for you.”

he kissed her again, just a soft brush of lips, before pulling back, his fingers lingering on her waist for a moment longer before he let go. “i’ll see you after,” he murmured, a hint of warmth in his voice.

“good luck,” she whispered as he jogged off, leaving her standing there with a smile tugging at her lips, her heart a little lighter.

the game started fast, with real madrid dominating possession, and jude was in the thick of it, as always. y/n watched from the sidelines, her heart in her throat every time he got near the ball. she loved watching him play—his skill, his passion, his fire—it was magnetic. but it also made her anxious, especially on days like this when the stakes were high, and the tackles were hard.

then, it happened.

one minute, jude was sprinting down the pitch, weaving through defenders, and the next, he was on the ground, clutching his shoulder after a harsh tackle. y/n’s heart stopped. everything around her went blurry, the crowd’s roar fading into a dull hum as she watched him writhe in pain.

gerard was already moving, rushing out onto the pitch to tend to him. y/n stood frozen, her breath caught in her throat as she watched them help jude off the field, his face contorted in pain, his arm hanging limply by his side.

he was subbed off immediately, and her stomach twisted in knots. she wanted to be by his side, but her job kept her pitchside for the rest of the game. her mind raced, heart hammering in her chest as she tried to focus on the match, but it was impossible. all she could think about was him, the pain he must be in, the uncertainty of the injury.

the final whistle blew, and real madrid won, but y/n barely registered it. she sprinted toward the tunnel, her feet moving faster than her mind. all she cared about was jude.

she found him in the medical room, sitting on the bench, his face pale and strained. his left shoulder was wrapped tightly, and he winced every time he moved.

“jude,” she breathed, rushing to his side. her hands hovered over him, unsure where to touch without hurting him further. “how bad is it?”

he looked up at her, offering a weak smile. “gerard says it’s not dislocated. but i need scans to be sure.”

y/n nodded, her heart heavy with worry. she knew she had to stay professional, but the sight of him in pain, the uncertainty of it all—it was too much.

“i’ll take care of you,” she whispered, her fingers gently brushing his knee as if to ground herself.

jude nodded, but she could see the strain in his eyes, the way he clenched his jaw to hide the pain. it broke her heart to see him like this.

after weeks, y/n and jude finally found the time for themselves in between their busy schedules for a date night. it had been a perfect night—one of those rare moments where their schedules aligned and they could just be them, away from the pitch, the pressure, and everything else. dinner had been slow, intimate, filled with teasing looks across the table, hands brushing as they shared plates. jude was in one of his moods, that playful, flirty side of him that always made y/n blush even when she tried to act unaffected.

by the time they made it back to his apartment, the air between them had shifted from soft flirtation to something far more heated. jude barely got the door shut before he was on her, his hands wrapping around her waist, pulling her flush against him as his lips met hers in a kiss that was both passionate and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world to savor her.

y/n melted into him, her arms looping around his neck as she kissed him back just as fervently, her fingers slipping through the short curls at the nape of his neck. she could feel his need in the way he held her close, like he didn’t want to let go for a second. his lips trailed down to her jawline, pressing light, teasing kisses that made her breath hitch and her body tense in anticipation.

“i missed this,” he murmured against her skin, his voice low and husky as his hands wandered to her hips, tugging her even closer.

“me too,” she whispered, her voice breathless as she leaned into his touch. everything about being with him felt right, like they had found this perfect rhythm together. the world outside faded away when they were like this.

before she could process what was happening, jude bent down and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her towards the bedroom with a grin that spoke of mischief and desire. y/n let out a soft gasp, her hands instinctively clutching his shoulders for balance, but that’s when she felt it—the slightest shift in his expression. his grin faltered for a split second, a tiny grimace of pain that was gone almost as quickly as it came.

but she caught it.

“jude…” she said softly, pulling back just enough to see his face. “are you okay?”

he stopped walking, still holding her but not moving forward. for a moment, his playful expression dropped, and she could see it—the flicker of discomfort in his eyes, the tension in his jaw. her gaze immediately flickered to his shoulder, the one that had been injured just a month or two ago, the one that was still wrapped during matches. the same shoulder he was meant to be careful with, even though the doctors had cleared him to play under strict precautions.

“it’s nothing, love,” he said quickly, his tone light, brushing it off as if it were no big deal. but the way his body tensed gave him away.

y/n frowned, her hand gently cupping his cheek as she searched his face. “jude, don’t lie to me. you grimaced.”

“grimaced?” he repeated, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he tried to steer the conversation back to their usual banter. “nah, i don’t think i know what that word means. you must be imagining things.”

“jude.” her voice was firmer this time, her brow furrowed with concern. “if you’re in pain, you need to tell me.”

he set her down gently, his arms still loosely wrapped around her waist as he leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers. “it’s fine, y/n. i promise,” he said, his voice softer now, more sincere. “it’s just a little sore. nothing to worry about.”

she opened her mouth to argue, but before she could get a word out, he kissed her again—slow and deliberate, his lips moving against hers with a tenderness that made her mind go blank. her heart fluttered, and just like that, her focus shifted. her hands gripped his shirt, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing hers in a way that made her forget all about his shoulder for a moment.

he pulled back slightly, just enough to murmur against her lips, “you’re worrying too much again, love.”

her body betrayed her, melting into him even though her brain was still trying to hold on to the thread of concern. “i’m serious, jude…”

but he kissed her again, this time more insistent, his hands slipping under the hem of her shirt, sending shivers down her spine. “how about you stop worrying… and let me take care of you tonight,” he whispered, his voice dripping with seduction.

y/n’s breath hitched, her heart racing as his words settled over her. she could feel the warmth of his hands on her skin, the way his touch made her mind foggy with desire. she wanted to press him further, to make him admit if he was really in pain, but the way he was looking at her—the intensity in his gaze, the way his lips ghosted over hers—it made her forget everything else.

he grinned down at her, sensing her hesitation fading. “there she is,” he teased, his thumb brushing lightly over her bottom lip. “you’re always overthinking, y/n. i’m fine.”

she bit her lip, still feeling a flicker of worry in her chest, but she couldn’t resist the pull of him—the way his presence consumed her, the way he could make her forget all her concerns with just a look. he’s fine, she told herself. he wouldn’t hide something from me.

and just like that, jude had successfully distracted her, his teasing words and gentle touches working their magic. he leaned down to kiss her again, his lips moving over hers with a passion that left her breathless. her hands roamed over his chest, and before she knew it, they were back to where they had started—lost in each other, in the heat of the moment.

but deep down, somewhere beneath the desire, a small voice still whispered in the back of her mind, reminding her of that fleeting grimace, of the tension in his body. it wasn’t enough to pull her out of the moment now, but it lingered, waiting for a quiet moment to resurface.

the atmosphere in the physio room was different when it was just the two of them. jude was lying on the table, his shirt tossed aside, muscles on full display as y/n stood beside him, clipboard in hand. she tried to keep her professional demeanor intact, but it was difficult with how aware she was of his body, the familiar contours of his skin, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath. she couldn't help it—their last night together still played on loop in her mind, and the flicker of concern from that grimace gnawed at her more than she wanted to admit.

"alright, let's start," she said, her voice steady but her mind racing. she avoided eye contact, focusing on the basics as she gently prodded his uninjured arm first. "raise this arm for me."

jude smirked, lifting his right arm with ease, the muscles flexing under his skin. "easy."

"good." she made a note on her clipboard, moving to his injured shoulder, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the slight tension in his face, even though he was trying hard not to show it. he’s still in pain, she thought, but she stayed silent.

“now the other one,” she instructed, keeping her tone as even as possible.

he raised his left arm, but only halfway before his movement faltered. y/n’s eyes darted to his shoulder, catching the subtle wince that he tried to mask behind a grin.

“see? not too bad,” he said casually, dropping his arm back down as if the strain wasn’t obvious.

but she saw it. he’s hiding something.

“jude,” she said softly, stepping closer, her hand reaching out to his shoulder. her fingertips brushed his skin, and she could feel the tightness there, the tension in the muscles. “does it hurt?”

“nah,” he shrugged, leaning back against the table with a playful glint in his eyes, “i think you’re just looking for an excuse to touch me.”

she rolled her eyes, trying to keep her focus on the task at hand, but his teasing always had a way of getting under her skin. “i’m serious. don’t joke about this.”

“oh, come on,” jude replied, flashing her that boyish grin that had her heart racing even when she didn’t want it to. “i’m fine, love. you’re just being overprotective.”

“i have to be overprotective,” she countered, biting her lip as she stepped back, her hand falling away from him. “it’s my job.”

“mm, is that what this is? just work?” his voice dropped to a lower, more intimate tone, and the way he was looking at her—soft, smoldering—made her stomach flip. “because i could’ve sworn you liked touching me.”

her breath hitched, a blush creeping up her neck as she tried to focus on the clipboard in her hands. “jude.”

“what? i’m just saying,” he chuckled, sitting up on the table, his arm moving a little too freely for someone supposedly recovering. “maybe i should get hurt more often if it means you’ll fuss over me like this.”

she glared at him, though her lips twitched with a smile. “that’s not funny.”

“oh, but you’re smiling.” he leaned forward, and before she could step away, his hand caught her wrist, pulling her gently toward him. “c’mon, love. you don’t have to worry so much. i’m fine. promise.”

y/n could feel her resolve weakening as his thumb rubbed soft circles into her skin, his touch warm and comforting. her eyes flickered to his shoulder, still aching, still not fully healed. she knew she should be focusing on the session, on the way his range of motion wasn’t what it should be, on the tightness that was still there.

but jude had this way of making everything else melt away, of making her forget, just for a moment, how serious things were.

“you’re not fine, jude,” she said softly, her voice barely a whisper as her hand came up to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under her palm. “i can tell.”

he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers, his breath warm on her skin. “maybe it’s not perfect yet,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, more honest. “but it’s getting better. i’m fine, y/n.”

she closed her eyes, torn between her concern as a professional and her feelings as his girlfriend. her fingers brushed lightly over his skin, feeling the tension there, the strain he was trying so hard to hide.

“you don’t have to act tough with me, jude,” she murmured, opening her eyes to meet his gaze. “i know when you’re hurting.”

he looked at her for a long moment, his eyes softening as he reached up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “you’re too good to me, you know that?” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “always worrying.”

“because i love you,” she said quietly, the words slipping out before she could stop them.

jude’s eyes softened even more, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “and i love you too, which is why you don’t need to worry. i’m okay.”

she wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that everything was fine, that he wasn’t still in pain. but the way he winced when he thought she wasn’t looking, the way his shoulder still felt tense under her fingers—it all told her a different story.

but for now, she let it slide, letting herself melt into his touch as his lips found hers again, soft and tender, stealing her breath away.

she knew she couldn’t let it go forever, but for tonight, she let herself believe him.

it was late. the kind of late where the office was eerily quiet, the hum of the computer the only sound in the physio room. y/n sat at her desk, eyes fixed on the screen in front of her. she had been staring at jude’s file for what felt like hours, her mind racing as she scrolled through the details of his last scan, the diagnosis staring back at her like a punch to the gut.

rotator cuff strain. partial tear. possible surgical intervention required.

she blinked, her heart pounding in her chest as the reality of it settled in. her hands hovered over the keyboard, scrolling through the notes, the recommendations from the team doctor, the detailed suggestions for further treatment.

he needs surgery.

it was there in black and white, clear as day, but somehow—somehow—she had missed it. or rather, she had overlooked it. she hadn’t wanted to see it. jude had been so convincing, so adamant that he was fine, that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. and she had trusted him. she had wanted to trust him. he’s fine, he’d said, it’s just precautionary.

but now, staring at the report, she felt her stomach twist with guilt. how had she let this slip by? how had she let herself believe that everything was okay when deep down, she knew something wasn’t right? she had seen the signs—the grimace when he moved, the tightness in his shoulder, the way he brushed off her concern night after night. but she had let it go because she loved him, because she wanted to believe that he wouldn’t hide something so important from her.

he lied. maybe not outright, but he hadn’t told her the full truth. and now, the weight of that omission was crushing her. she scrolled through the file again, her eyes tracing the doctor’s notes, the suggestion for surgical intervention, the warning about potential long-term damage if left untreated.

how could he do this?

y/n felt a lump rise in her throat, her fingers gripping the edge of the desk as the reality of it all hit her. jude wasn’t just playing through pain—he was risking everything. his career, his health, his future. and he hadn’t told her. he hadn’t trusted her enough to tell her the truth.

her mind flashed back to their last session, the way he had flirted with her, teased her, tried to distract her. she had known something was off. she knew something was wrong, but she had let herself be swept up in his charm, in the way he made her feel, in the love that had grown between them over the past year.

how could i have been so blind?

her fingers hovered over the keyboard, hesitating before she clicked out of the file. she leaned back in her chair, staring at the screen as the weight of it all settled in. jude needed surgery. he needed treatment. and he had kept it from her, knowing what it could mean for his career, for his body, for them.

and now, she was going to have to confront him about it.

y/n closed her laptop, her hands shaking as she stood from her desk. she could feel the anger bubbling up inside her, but more than that, she felt hurt. he had lied to her—he had put his career ahead of his health, ahead of their relationship, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal.

she had to talk to him. she had to make him understand how serious this was, even if it meant they would argue, even if it meant pushing him in ways she didn’t want to.

because if she didn’t… she wasn’t sure what would happen.

the door clicked shut behind jude as he walked into his home, his shoulders stiff with frustration, pain laced through his every movement. y/n stood by the kitchen counter, her arms crossed, waiting. she had thought about this moment all day, how to approach it without letting her emotions get the best of her. but now, seeing him walk in like this—defensive, agitated—it all fell apart. the worry she’d bottled up turned into something sharper, something more painful.

"we need to talk," she started, her voice tense, the calm she wanted nowhere to be found.

jude's eyes flicked up, already guarded. "about what?" he muttered, shrugging out of his jacket, wincing as his shoulder strained.

her heart clenched at the sight of him still in pain. she took a breath, trying to keep it together, but it was no use. "about your shoulder," she said, stepping forward, the words tighter than she meant. "you haven’t healed, jude. i saw your scans."

he froze, his eyes locking on hers, that flicker of guilt quickly masked by frustration. "i’m fine."

"you’re not fine," she snapped, her voice rising despite herself. "you need surgery, and you’ve been lying to me."

“i didn’t lie,” jude shot back, his voice louder now, raw with his own frustration. "i just… didn’t tell you."

"exactly!" she cut in, her voice shaking with the intensity of everything she’d been holding back. “you didn’t tell me because you knew what i’d say. you knew i’d tell you to stop playing, to take care of yourself.”

“and miss everything i’ve worked for?" he scoffed, disbelief in his voice. "the season, the champions league, euros—you want me to throw all that away?"

"i am not suggesting for you to 'throw it all away'. i want you to put yourself first and make the right decision especially, if it means not ruining your body. if it means being able to play for years instead of burning out now. jude, i’m not just your girlfriend here—I’m your physio. i’m telling you, you’re risking everything by pushing this." her voice broke, her heart slamming against her ribs as the words spilled out.

he stared at her, his jaw tight, his defenses raised. "you’re always telling me what to do. it’s like i can’t make a single decision without you hovering over me, like i’m incapable or something."

her chest tightened at his words, the sting sharper than she expected. "hovering?" she repeated, her voice trembling. "i’m trying to help you, jude. because i love you. because i can’t stand to see you hurt.”

"i didn’t ask you to help,” he muttered, frustration boiling over. “i didn’t ask you to go through my files or make choices for me. i can take care of myself.”

"clearly not!" she shouted, the dam finally breaking. "you’re pretending everything’s fine when it's not! you're acting like this is nothing, but you're going to ruin yourself. is that what you want?"

he looked at her, eyes blazing. "what do you want me to do, y/n? sit out the most important games of my life and let everyone down?"

"i want you to listen to me,” she said, her voice soft but pleading. "i want you to trust me when i say that pushing through this pain will ruin you. i want you to care about your health enough to stop."

“and what if i can’t?" his voice dropped, the anger in his tone replaced by something harder, colder. “what if i can’t stop? what if chasing my dream means pushing through this?"

“then maybe you need to figure out what matters more,” she whispered, the tears she’d been holding back finally breaking free. “your career or your future.”

he scoffed, shaking his head. "you’re blowing this out of proportion."

“i’m saying,” he bit out, “that sometimes it feels like you don’t trust me to make my own decisions. like you’re constantly babying me. and it’s—” he broke off, rubbing his face with his good hand, exhaling sharply. “it’s suffocating.”

y/n took a step back, the weight of his words settling deep in her chest. suffocating. he felt suffocated by her. by her care, her concern. all this time, she thought she was protecting him, looking out for him, but now it felt like every effort she made was being thrown back in her face.

the words hit her like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of her. for a moment, she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. all she could do was stare at him, the man she loved, the man she thought she knew. and in that moment, it all became too much.

her throat tightened, tears threatening to spill, but she swallowed them down, forcing herself to stand tall. “i’m suffocating you,” she repeated quietly, her voice hollow. “i’m trying to help you, jude. because i love you. because i don’t want to see you hurt.”

“i never asked for your help,” he shot back, his voice harsh, cold. “i didn’t ask you to go through my file. i didn’t ask you to act like i can’t make my own choices.”

she flinched at the coldness in his tone, her heart breaking a little more with every word. “so, what? you think i’m overstepping because i care? because i want to make sure you’re not ruining your career?”

“ruining my career?” he echoed, his voice rising. “i’m not ruining anything, y/n. i’m chasing my dream, and you’re trying to take that away from me.”

“i’m not trying to take it away from you,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “i’m trying to save you.”

“save me?” jude scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “i don’t need saving. i’m fine.”

“you’re not fine!” she shouted, the dam breaking as her frustration, her fear, her love for him poured out in waves. “you’re hurt, jude, and you’re pretending everything’s okay when it’s not! you’re risking everything for a few more games, and you’re going to get yourself hurt even worse if you keep pushing like this.”

“so what?” he snapped, his eyes blazing with anger. “what do you want me to do, huh? just sit on the sidelines and watch while everyone else plays? let my team down? let my country down?”

“i want you to take care of yourself,” she said, her voice soft, pleading now. “i want you to trust me when i say that you need to stop. not just because i’m your physio, but because i’m the person who loves you.”

“well, maybe i don’t need you to love me like that,” he bit out, his voice cold and cutting. “maybe i don’t need you to hover over me and make decisions for me.”

“fine,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “if you think i’m suffocating you, then i’ll stop.”

she turned, grabbing her bag, her hands shaking as she stuffed her things inside. jude’s eyes widened as he realized what she was doing, his anger fading into panic.

“y/n, wait—”

“no,” she cut him off, her voice shaking. “i swore to myself i would never allow myself to be treated like this again. i love you, jude, but i’m not going to stand here and watch you ruin yourself, and i’m sure as hell not going to let you treat me like this just because i care.”

“y/n—” he reached for her, but she stepped back, her chest tightening with every breath.

“i can’t stay here and watch you destroy yourself. if you don’t want my help, if you don’t want my love, then i'll give you space.” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

and with that, she turned and walked out the door, leaving him standing there, speechless, the weight of his words crashing down around him.

the next morning, y/n moved through the facility like a ghost, her steps deliberate but light, her gaze averted from every familiar face. her usual routine felt foreign, each task tinged with the sting of their argument. it was as if her entire world had shifted on its axis, and now she was navigating through a blur of faces and whispers.

jude's teammates, ever observant, noticed the shift. they gathered in their usual spot in the locker room, exchanging glances as they watched jude, who was trying and failing to focus on a stack of recovery reports.

“hey, jude,” eddie called out, nudging him with a grin. “you and y/n good? you two look like you’ve had a rough night.”

jude stiffened, the question hitting him like a ton of bricks. “we’re fine,” he replied quickly, his voice betraying the unease he felt. “just had a disagreement. nothing to worry about.”

“a disagreement?” aurélien chimed in, raising an eyebrow. “you two are usually joined at the hip. if you’re having trouble, maybe it’s time to sort it out.”

jude sighed, pushing his papers aside. “it’s nothing. she’s probably just busy.”

his teammates exchanged skeptical looks but let the matter drop, knowing when to press and when to let things be. jude, however, couldn’t focus on anything but the hollow feeling in his chest, the gnawing regret of their last conversation.

jude had never seen y/n truly angry at him. the realization that this was their first real fight gnawed at him as he navigated the day, trying to focus but constantly distracted by thoughts of her. their relationship had always been easy—light and warm, full of affection and laughter. but now, the air between them felt thick, and the tension was something he didn’t know how to fix.

he’d never been in this situation with her before. y/n was usually so calm, understanding, always meeting him with patience. but today, she was distant, her posture closed off, her face a mask of professionalism that made him feel like he was a stranger.

when he finally spotted her across the training facility, he didn’t think twice. his legs carried him toward her before he even had a plan of what to say. all he knew was that he couldn’t stand this distance any longer.

“y/n,” he called out, his voice hesitant, unsure.

she didn’t stop immediately, her steps faltering only when he reached her side. when she turned to face him, her expression was unreadable, the usual warmth in her eyes replaced by something much colder.

“jude, i’m working,” she said, her voice clipped. “what do you need?”

his heart sank at the tone, but he pushed forward, desperate to get her to soften. he had no idea how to navigate this, how to reach her when she was this upset with him. so, he did what he always did when things were tense—he tried to charm his way out of it.

“i just wanted to see you,” he said, giving her the smile that usually made her laugh. “can’t go a day without your pretty face, you know?”

she stared at him, unblinking, her lips set in a tight line. no smile. no softening of her features.

“jude,” she said quietly, her voice low and firm. “this isn’t the time for jokes.”

he swallowed hard, feeling the sting of her words but still unsure how to break through the walls she’d put up between them. he wasn’t used to this—wasn’t used to y/n being angry, wasn’t used to feeling like he couldn’t fix it with a few sweet words or a touch.

“i’m sorry,” he said quickly, stepping closer, his hand brushing her arm gently. “about last night. i know i messed up. i didn’t mean to hurt you, y/n. i hate this… i hate us being like this.”

she exhaled sharply, her eyes flickering with something close to frustration. “this isn’t about you 'hurting my feelings', jude. do you really think that’s what this is about?”

he blinked, taken aback. he’d thought—well, yes, he’d thought it was about her being upset with him, about her being hurt by the way he’d reacted. wasn’t that what this was about? how he treated her?

“isn’t it?” he asked, his voice uncertain.

y/n shook her head, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. “no, jude, it’s not about my feelings. it’s about your health. i’m your physio. i have a responsibility to make sure you don’t ruin your body, and you’re ignoring every piece of advice i’ve given you. you’re being reckless, and i can’t… i can’t just sit by and watch you destroy yourself.”

her voice cracked slightly at the end, and for a moment, jude saw the worry beneath her anger. but it didn’t make him feel better—in fact, it made him feel worse. because this wasn’t just about them. this wasn’t something he could fix with an apology or a promise to do better.

“i’m fine, y/n,” he insisted, trying to reach for her again, but she stepped back, putting more space between them. “i don’t need surgery—i’m managing, i’m playing. everything’s under control.”

“under control?” she repeated, her tone dripping with disbelief. “you’re grimacing every time you lift your arm, jude. i've seen it/ you’re not fooling anyone.”

he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, frustration starting to bubble up inside him. he hated this—hated feeling like he was losing her because of something as stupid as his shoulder.

“what do you want me to say?” he asked, his voice tinged with frustration now. “i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry i hurt your feelings. i didn’t mean to—”

“this isn’t about my feelings!” she snapped, cutting him off, her eyes flashing. “you still don’t get it, do you? this is about you taking care of yourself. it’s about you trusting me to help you, to do my job. but you’re not. you’re hiding things from me, you’re brushing off your injury like it’s nothing, and i can’t… i can’t be a part of that.”

he stared at her, the full weight of her words settling in his chest like a stone. she was pulling away—really pulling away. not just emotionally, but from her role as his physio. and that… that felt like losing her entirely.

“you’re saying you don’t want to work with me anymore?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

y/n’s expression softened, but only slightly. “i’m saying i can’t work with you if you’re not going to be honest with me. i’ve already told gerard that he’ll be handling your sessions from now on.”

the words hit him like a punch to the gut. he hadn’t expected this—not from her. not from the woman who had been his constant support, his anchor through everything. he felt the sting of betrayal, even though he knew, deep down, that she was right.

“y/n, please,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “don’t do this. don’t push me away.”

her gaze softened, but there was still a steely resolve in her eyes. “i’m not pushing you away, jude. i’m setting a boundary. i love you, but i can’t watch you do this to yourself. not as your physio, and not as someone who loves about you.”

and with that, she turned and walked away, leaving him standing there, his heart aching with the weight of everything unsaid.

the week dragged on in silence, y/n tucked away in her office, trying to drown herself in work. she thought if she focused hard enough on the files in front of her, she could ignore the ache gnawing at her chest. it had been a more than a week since their argument—since jude had stubbornly refused the surgery again, and since she had drawn a line between them, choosing her own peace over watching him destroy his body.

but the weight of it all was still there, pressing down on her, making every moment feel heavier. she missed him. she hated this coldness, the distance that felt so unnatural between them. they'd never fought like this before—never been at odds for more than a few playful moments. and now, it felt like an ocean was between them, one that neither of them seemed to know how to cross.

the sound of footsteps approaching her desk barely registered at first. she stayed focused on the computer screen, her fingers moving swiftly over the keys, until the familiar scent of fresh coffee hit her.

she didn’t look up.

“hey, love,” jude’s voice was soft, tentative. he placed a travel thermos in front of her—the one she always used, her favorite color, with the latte she liked to have when she worked late. “i made your latte this morning. figured you’d be needing one.”

her fingers stilled, but she didn’t raise her eyes to meet his. instead, she kept her gaze trained on the screen, willing her emotions to stay in check. she wasn’t going to let him charm his way out of this—not this time.

“thanks,” she muttered, her voice flat, void of any warmth.

jude let out a small sigh, clearly hoping for more. when nothing followed, he leaned down, resting his arms on the edge of her desk, trying to catch her eye. “come on, y/n. you can’t stay mad at me forever. how long are you gonna keep giving me the cold shoulder?”

still, she didn’t look at him. “i’m working.”

he straightened up, clearly flustered, but not giving up. he flashed her that smile—the one that usually melted her resolve in seconds. “when are you coming home? i miss you.”

y/n finally glanced at him, but her eyes were sharp, cold. “why?” she asked, her tone biting. “so i can suffocate you some more? maybe hover over everything you about taking care of yourself like it’s a bad thing?”

her words hit him like a slap, and jude blinked, clearly taken aback. he opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure of what to say. he had never seen her this... sharp. this distant. and it was starting to sink in just how much he had hurt her.

“it’s not like that, y/n. you know i—” he began, but she cut him off.

“no, jude. it is like that.” she pushed back from her desk, finally standing and facing him. “you don’t get it, do you? i love you. more than anything. but you’re being reckless, and i can’t stand by and watch it happen. i’m not going to sit here and watch you ruin your career, your body—everything you’ve worked for. and i can’t be with someone who doesn’t care about themselves enough to do what needs to be done.”

he took a step closer, his expression softening as he reached for her hand. “y/n, i care about you—about us. that’s why i’m doing this. i can’t afford to be out for months with surgery. the team needs me.”

she pulled her hand away, frustration boiling up. “and what about what i need, jude? have you thought about that?”

he was quiet for a moment, clearly grappling with her words, trying to find the right thing to say. “i’m sorry,” he murmured. “i’m sorry i hurt your feelings—”

y/n scoffed, her patience running thin. “i'm going to stop you right there. this is about your health. i’m your girlfriend, and i’m your physio. i have a responsibility to make sure you’re okay, and right now, you’re not.”

he looked down, his shoulders slumping slightly. “i know… but surgery—”

“don’t,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “don’t give me the same excuse. if you want to make it up to me, if you really care about us, you’ll get the surgery. that’s how you fix this.”

he stared at her, his jaw tight, clearly wrestling with himself. “i can’t,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “i can’t do that.”

y/n’s chest tightened, her heart breaking a little more with each passing second. she took a deep breath, nodding to herself as she made up her mind. “then we don’t have anything left to talk about.”

jude’s head snapped up, panic flashing across his face. “what? no—y/n, come on, don’t do this.”

“i’m not your assigned physio anymore, jude,” she continued, her tone distant, like she was reciting facts rather than emotions. “and as your girlfriend, i’m not going to keep offering you my care and love only for you to throw it back in my face.”

“y/n, please,” he begged, stepping closer, his hand reaching for hers again. “don’t push me away.”

she looked at him, her eyes softening for just a moment. “i’m not pushing you away, jude. until you decide to take your health seriously, we don’t have anything else to talk about.”

and with that, she walked past him, leaving him standing there, lost and unsure, holding her favorite latte that suddenly didn’t seem like enough.

the shopping center was bustling with activity, the sounds of chatter and footsteps echoing through the open-air market as y/n strolled alongside denise and jobe. she had been hesitant to join them at first, but denise had insisted, practically pulling her out of the training center with promises of coffee and a relaxing afternoon. y/n couldn't say no to jude’s mom—she was like the mother she never had. and despite everything, she missed this, missed the warmth of being around his family.

“so, how do you say this again?” denise asked, holding up a scarf to a shopkeeper, her brow furrowed as she tried to recall the spanish phrase y/n had taught her earlier.

y/n smiled softly, stepping in to help. “es tan bonito. how much is it?”

denise repeated the words with a grin, and the shopkeeper beamed at her effort before responding. y/n translated easily, helping denise through the exchange. the older woman patted y/n’s arm, her eyes twinkling. “i don’t know what i’d do without you. you’re my little translator,” she teased, giving y/n a warm smile.

“well, you’re learning,” y/n said with a gentle laugh. “and you’re doing great.”

meanwhile, jobe was trailing behind them, half paying attention to the conversation while glancing at his phone. y/n nudged him playfully. “you’re awfully quiet back there, jobe. come on, join in! you’re one of the girls now.”

jobe rolled his eyes but smirked. “nah, i’m good. you have your fun. i’m just here for the food.”

denise gave him a look, but there was no real bite in her words. “don’t act like you’re not enjoying yourself, jobe. you love shopping with us.”

y/n laughed at that, and jobe let out a dramatic sigh. “fine, maybe a little. but don’t tell anyone.”

as they made their way through the rest of the shops, the atmosphere felt light, almost normal—almost like she hadn’t just walked out on jude days ago. but as they settled down at a small café for lunch, denise’s warm gaze flickered toward y/n, a hint of concern behind her smile.

“you haven’t been over much lately,” denise remarked gently, stirring her coffee. “jude’s been… well, a bit out of sorts. sulking, really.”

y/n tensed at the mention of his name, her fingers tightening around her mug. “yeah, things have been… complicated.”

jobe glanced at her, sensing the shift in mood. “he’s been a right pain at home,” he added with a chuckle, though his eyes were more curious than teasing. “what’s going on with you two?”

y/n sighed, setting her coffee down. she didn’t want to get into too many details, but she knew she couldn’t dodge their concern forever. “we had a fight. about his surgery. he’s being stubborn and refusing it, and i just… i can’t stand by and watch him hurt himself.”

denise nodded thoughtfully, her expression softening with understanding. “that sounds like my jude,” she murmured, shaking her head. “he’s always been driven, even as a little boy. always pushing himself, always wanting to be the best.”

y/n felt a lump form in her throat as she listened, her heart aching. “i know. and i get it, i do. but he’s risking everything—his health, his future. i can’t just sit there and do nothing.”

denise reached across the table, placing a gentle hand on y/n’s arm. “sweetheart, jude is so focused on his goals that sometimes he forgets about the bigger picture. he’s always been that way. stubborn, yes, but he’s also in love with you. he’ll come around—you just have to give him time.”

jobe leaned back in his chair, nodding in agreement. “yeah, he’s a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he’s not stupid. he loves you, y/n. it’s just… football is everything to him, and right now, he’s scared of losing that. but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about you too.”

y/n bit her lip, her chest tightening with emotion. “i just don’t know how to get through to him. it feels like i’m banging my head against a wall.”

denise smiled warmly, squeezing her hand. “just keep being patient, love. jude’s got a good head on his shoulders, but sometimes he needs a little nudge in the right direction. he’ll figure it out. and when he does, he’ll realize that you’re right.”

y/n gave a small, grateful nod, her heart feeling a little lighter. she appreciated their insight, their understanding of jude in a way only his family could provide. they had seen him through all his phases, his triumphs, and his struggles, and their words gave her hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d come to his senses.

as they finished their lunch and continued shopping, y/n felt a small flicker of peace. things weren’t perfect, and the weight of her argument with jude still loomed over her, but being with his family—hearing their stories and their faith in him—made her feel like she wasn’t alone in this.

and maybe, just maybe, jude would realize that too.

the sun was setting over madrid, casting a golden hue through the large windows of jude’s apartment. y/n sat on the edge of the couch, her heart racing as she stared at the familiar surroundings. it had been days since they last spoke—days that felt like weeks, filled with uncertainty, hurt, and distance.

but she was here now. despite everything, she missed him. missed them. and as much as it pained her to watch him be so reckless with his body, she knew they had to find a way through this. for both their sakes.

the sound of the front door opening pulled her from her thoughts, and a moment later, jude stepped inside. his eyes met hers instantly, surprise flashing across his face, quickly replaced by a mixture of relief and guilt. he closed the door behind him, hesitating by the entrance as if unsure of what to say.

“hey,” his voice was soft, tentative, as he dropped his gym bag on the floor. “i didn’t expect you to be here.”

y/n stood, crossing her arms protectively over her chest. “i didn’t expect to come either,” she admitted, her voice equally soft. “but we need to talk.”

jude nodded, his shoulders sagging as he approached her slowly, as if afraid she might disappear. “yeah, we do.”

they stood there for a moment, the silence heavy between them, both unsure of how to start. it was jude who broke the quiet first, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated with himself.

"i need to apologize for… for what i said the other day.” his voice was quiet, almost as if he was ashamed to bring it up.

y/n looked at him, waiting for him to continue. she knew what he was referring to—how his words had cut deep, leaving a wound she hadn’t been able to shake.

he swallowed hard, finally lifting his eyes to meet hers. “what i said about you suffocating me… about you hovering over everything. that was wrong. so wrong. i didn’t mean it, not like that. i was angry, frustrated with myself, and i took it out on you. you were just trying to help me, and instead of appreciating it, i threw it back in your face. i’m so sorry.”

his voice broke slightly, the guilt etched into every word. y/n’s heart ached as she watched him struggle with the weight of his apology. she could see how much it was eating at him, how much he regretted the hurtful things he had said in the heat of the moment.

“you didn’t deserve that,” jude continued, his voice barely above a whisper now. “you’ve always been there for me. always cared for me, even when i wasn’t taking care of myself. i don’t know why i said those things. i was scared, and i lashed out at the one person who’s always had my back. and that was wrong.”

y/n blinked, her chest tightening as the memory of his words came flooding back. she hadn’t realized just how much she needed to hear him say this, to acknowledge the damage he’d caused. she had spent so many nights replaying the argument, wondering if maybe he had truly felt that way—that she was too much, too protective, too demanding.

but hearing him now, seeing the pain in his eyes, she realized how much he had been hurting too. they had both been navigating this storm together, just on opposite sides of the same battle.

“jude,” she said softly, her voice wavering. “i know you didn’t mean it, but… it still hurt. when you said those things, it made me feel like i was the problem. like maybe i was asking for too much by caring about you.”

he shook his head quickly, his hands reaching for hers again, holding them tightly. “no, no, y/n. you are never the problem. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. and i was too caught up in my own head to see that.”

he took a deep breath, his grip on her hands tightening as if he was afraid to let her go. “you’re not suffocating me. you’re not too much. i need you, y/n. i need you in my life, and i need your care. because without you… i don’t know where i’d be right now. probably doing even worse.”

a small, sad smile tugged at the corners of y/n’s lips. “i just want you to be okay, jude. that’s all i’ve ever wanted.”

he nodded, his expression earnest, filled with remorse and love. “and i promise you, i’m going to do better. i’m going to take care of myself, and i’ll listen to you. because you’re right—i can’t keep ignoring my health. and i can’t keep pushing you away when all you’ve ever done is love me.”

y/n’s eyes softened, and she squeezed his hands gently. “that’s all i ask. that you take care of yourself, so we can take care of us.”

jude leaned in, resting his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling in the quiet of the room. “i’m sorry, baby. for everything. and i’m going to make it right.”

she closed her eyes, letting the warmth of his presence wash over her. “i know you will,” she whispered, feeling the weight of the past few weeks slowly start to lift.

they stayed like that for a moment, wrapped in the silence, the apology finally spoken, the air between them beginning to clear.

jude sat down beside her on the couch, his leg bouncing nervously. “i won’t get the surgery now,” he said, his voice steady but filled with determination. “not yet. i want to be there for the euros, and i’m not ready to sit that out. but i swear, y/n, after that… after the tournament, i’ll do it. i’ll get the surgery.”

y/n’s heart ached at his words, knowing how much the decision weighed on him. she took a deep breath, feeling a flicker of guilt rise in her chest.

“jude… i never want to make you feel like you have to choose between your dreams and me,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “that’s not fair, and it’s not what i want. you deserve to live your dream, to play and give it your all. i don’t want you to feel torn between what you love and us. i just… i just want you to be safe.”

he turned toward her, his brow furrowed in concern as he took her hands again. “y/n, you’re not making me choose. this isn’t about you versus football. i need to take care of myself because i want a future with you. us.”

his voice softened as he continued. “i know what football means to me. but you, love… you’re my future. i promise i’ll find the balance. for both of us.”

her chest tightened as his words sank in. “promise me, then,” she whispered, tears threatening to fall. “promise me you’ll take care of yourself until then. more physio sessions, more rest, whatever it takes. i can’t lose you, jude. not to an injury, not to anything.”

he cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had escaped down her cheek. “i promise. i’ll do whatever it takes. because i don’t want to lose you either.”

y/n’s breath hitched, her emotions swirling as she searched his eyes, looking for any sign of doubt. but all she saw was sincerity, love, and a deep regret for the pain he’d caused. she could feel the weight of his words, the shift in him, and it brought a sense of relief she hadn’t expected.

slowly, she leaned into his touch, letting her forehead rest against his, their breaths mingling in the quiet of the room. “i love you,” she whispered, her voice breaking just a little. “i need you to take care of yourself. for me, for you… for us.”

jude closed his eyes, his hold on her tightening as if he was afraid she might slip away. “i love you too, y/n. more than anything. and i’m going to do better. i swear.”

they stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up in each other, the tension that had been simmering between them finally beginning to melt away. when y/n pulled back slightly, her eyes met his, and she saw the vulnerability there—the realness of his promise. she believed him.

“okay,” she said softly, offering him a small smile. “then we’ll figure this out. together.”

jude let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his own smile breaking through the exhaustion and worry. “together,” he echoed.

and just like that, the weight that had been pressing down on them both seemed to lift, replaced by the warmth of their shared love and the promise of a better tomorrow.

they sat down on the couch, still holding hands, and for the first time in what felt like forever, y/n felt at peace. not because everything was perfect, but because they were in it together—fighting for each other, fighting for their future.

as they leaned into each other, jude pressed a soft kiss to her temple, his voice low and gentle. “after the euros, we’ll take that next step.”

y/n smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. “good. because i’m not going anywhere either.”

and in that quiet moment, as the sun dipped below the horizon, they both knew they were stronger together. there was still a long road ahead, but they were ready to face it, hand in hand.

© PDRIESTA 2024

taglist — @sinners-98-world @stephiii29 @kcharlyy @landosgirlxoxo @judesthighveins @ilovelifes-world @cinderellawithashoe @imnyt @miniemonie2001 @lunamelona @treble-snot

[defire]

Stoic whumpee things I want to do more of:

Content: mention of rape, torture, noncon touch

Eye contact with whumper just following them across the room

Whumper going to touch them and they just lean out of the way as far as they can

Whumper touches them anyway. "Ew." Whumpee growls.

A solid sense of boundaries that slowly wears away, until finally, they just close their eyes, waiting for it to be over

Or, glaring at the wall when whumper touches them

Not having the same "scream" response to pain. Instead maybe they have something more animalistic, like whines or broken moans, or even gagging sounds

Bonus--whumper makes fun of them for this, cause they were hoping for some better screams out of them

A lack of fear turning very quickly into depression. (whumpee accepts their situation? They're going to quickly see how hopeless it is, too.)

Calm bargaining. "I'll kiss your feet." "No." "...I'll suck your dick." "Haha, nice try." *Exasperated sigh* "really? You said I was really good."

Never giving the information they're being tortured for, but compromising literally anything else because they are desperate, they're just also stubborn as hell

Whumper getting curious because of their silence and trying to get them to talk about themselves or their feelings. Locking them in a room and saying they won't leave until they talk.

"we'll play a game. You tell me one thing about yourself, and I'll give you one pretzel for each thing." *Starving whumpee rubs their face and sighs* "Fine. ...My middle name starts with N."

Discordant reactions--Whumpee just miserably laughing at how crazy evil whumper is. Breaking by going defiant. or by just being annoying (picking at whumper's sleeve, singing etc)

Maybe they just feel more depressed than anxious/desperate. Whumper trying to draw out their other feelings gets a chuckle. "That's very nice. I don't care."

Stoic works really well with certain traits--honest, loyal, morose, uncertain, thoughtful, autistic

[fxirybun]

🥂 PAC: what is your FS currently doing at the moment ?

FS stands for "future spouse" , the person you're going to marry and create a life together. let's see as to what they're up to at this time !

this is a collective reading ! take what resonates and leave what doesn't. i cannot guarantee 100% accuracy. take the pac reading lightly ჱ̒ ｰ̀֊ｰ́ )

ෆ⸒⸒ pile one

your future spouse is either physically or metaphorically on a journey at the moment. they may be traveling , relocating , or experiencing a transition in their life. i feel that they're currently desiring some kind of movement and how they don't want to be stuck or stay in just one place. they may also want to explore different places that they have never visited before. i'm sensing that your future spouse received some kind of letter ? perhaps a news that allows them to pursue their dreams or to leave this stagnant situation that they're facing.

this opportunity could make a significant impact on their current path. "finally" is what i'm hearing from them. i can see that your future spouse would grab this opportunity and act upon it swiftly. it's like they've been waiting for this moment to happen. there's something about an event that can give this person a sudden boost of energy within them.

i'm getting that this message came from a faraway distance ? an example would be living in a province and you receive an invitation from a city. there may be a person who lives on a different side of a country who's also close to your future spouse who decided to message them. i'm getting multiple messages. "wanna grab something for a drink ?" "there's a party over here" "you should come over".

i sensed that at first , your future spouse seemed to be thrilled to hear this exciting message yet, i'm feeling some kind of confusion coming from them. "this is new to me , i do not know this place". there's something about the location that makes them feel uncertain whether they would want to join or not. i'm also getting as to how they're wary about the people and the surrounding environment.

perhaps the kind of people who are in this place are all so "new" to them , similar to a culture shock moment. i'm receiving a scene from my head wherein the people wear very revealing clothes and how your future spouse feels a bit out of place. "blind date" it's possible that their friend is secretly setting your future spouse up with someone , not letting your future spouse know about their hidden motives.

this person could be a female or someone who has feminine qualities within them. though the "female" is more prominent in this reading. their energy leans more on the sensual side , very passionate and alluring. this person may have soft and delicate features. even so , your future spouse feels skeptical about this female figure once they meet them in person. they feel that this woman is hiding something from them or that they do not know this person at all.

after a while , your future spouse may want to know the truth from their friend as to why they're being set up with someone. they just want to have some fun and peace in their lives and not get caught up or involved with someone in a romantic setting lmao. “i thought this was supposed to be a party ? not a blind date" is what i'm getting from their energy. eventually , your future spouse would brush it off and enjoy the event throughout the night.

ෆ⸒⸒ pile two

your future spouse is currently dealing with heavy burdens in their life at the moment. there seems to be a challenging situation in their partake and how they have the urge to weigh down their responsibilities. i sensed that they were worrying about what the others may say about them ? 'cause i'm getting the word "discussion" + the show "gossip girl" and how prominent it was in this reading. perhaps your future spouse is in a stressful conversation and how it makes them feel anxious.

oohh i'm getting something about "leaked information" ? this is some high school-level drama 😭 it's like someone found out some info about your future spouse and they decided to spread it publicly , possibly being blackmailed or some sort. because of it everyone who is in the same environment as your future spouse is chattering about the so-called rumor.

gurl wait a min-- it's definitely a false rumor because whatever this information was is so far-fetched as to what that leaker may thought of. surprisingly enough it seems that your future spouse was waiting for their medical / lab results ? something that's related to health and how they've been focusing on their well-being these days yet it was misinterpreted as something else to which i cannot seem to point it out.

"one night stand". it's like they thought that your future spouse got into contact with some kind of transmittable disease that is related to sexual acts but it's not 💀 either way , i can see how they're trying their best to ignore those rumors and decided to focus on dealing with their confidential paperwork matters. i'm getting heavy themes of long-term stability , spiritual , emotional , and physical healing.

i feel that they're also grounding themselves amidst the chaos that they're currently facing. "let me do my own thing" , yeah they don't really give a damn about what others may think about your future spouse because they know themselves better than anyone else. i sensed that they're seeking balance in their life at the moment. i remembered earlier how your future spouse is dealing with too much work which lead them to feel fatigued or tired.

they may want to resolve their burdens quitely and in a rational way, a lot of reflecting for this one. all they could ever wish for at the moment is to have me-time and be in tune with themselves , being in a state of tranquility. hoping that the rumor dies down soon and everything went back to normal.

ෆ⸒⸒ pile three

i feel that there's a new female presence in your future spouse's life and how she's planning to take a visit. i'm also seeing them exchanging messages , emails , or texts with one another , discussing their plans for the future. it's similar to how someone is asking you as to what you're going to do after graduation. whoever this woman is , she seems to have something in her mind that she wants to talk about to your future spouse.

there's a swift movement of news that's coming on their way. it's possible that your future spouse may receive important information or messages from this female and how it is something to look forward to. perhaps there's a given opportunity or a project that was being offered to your future spouse that they may want to pursue.

i'm also sensing how this woman is trying to comfort your future spouse and how there's no romantic connection going on between the two of them. whatever this news may be it seems to be a negative one because i feel that your future spouse is experiencing some kind of worriness upon hearing it. they seem to be also stress , it's like they have lost something dear or important to them.

i'm leaning more so on their career side , it's possible that they may have been declined or rejected by a company or job that they wished to work with. for some of you , your future spouse could also be rejected by a university they hoped to attend yet their college application didn't meet what the university is looking for in a student.

"what am i supposed to do ?" there are a lot of what-ifs that are stirring your future spouse's mind at the moment. it was a once in a lifetime moment for them and when they heard about this saddened news they felt disheartened. thinking about it is gradually eroding their peace of mind and how it causes them to feel unease. they seem to want a change in their dynamic in life.

nevertheless , despite these worries that are consuming them , there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. for as long as they remain an optimistic outlook , your future spouse will experience positive moments that are entering their life that may bring them short-term relief or satisfaction. it's possible that in the near-yet-distant future , they'll encounter an unexpected luck that aligns with their plans.

[angstywaifu]

Black Dahlia - 15. Proven Wrong (Garrick POV)

The rest of the quadrant await the arrival of the newly bonded riders. And one rider is a little more anxious than they would like to admit over a certain Aetos.

Set Pre Fourth Wing/Books

Garrick Tavis x OC (Dahlia Aetos)

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist

It was getting late. The sun starting to set in the sky. Most of the cadets, now riders, had returned with dragons. The flight field looking vastly fuller than it had this morning when we’d gotten into formation no long after the dragons willing to bond had taken flight. And I was itching to get back to the dorms and take a shower. Even though it was starting to get cooler, standing in the sun for most of the day in black flight leathers was not ideal.

There was only a few dragons left to come back. With how full the first year side was, I’d hazard a guess at twenty still yet to return. But as my gaze sweeps over the first years in front of us, I can’t help but notice someone missing from Xaden’s squad. The only one missing from his squad. The one everyone was so sure would be one of the first ones back. But she was nowhere to be seen. I lift my gaze, scanning the horizon for any glimpse of blue scales, or that damn brown hair of hers that reminded me of chocolate.

Hot air fans over me as Chradh chuckles behind me. “For someone so adamant they don’t harbour any feelings towards her, you do seem to be making some interesting notes about her apperance.”

I turn my head to glare at him, and want to punch the smug look he has on his face as he stares down at me. “I don’t have any feelings for her. I hate her. Despise her. She means nothing to me.”

”Right. So what do I get when I say I told you so?”

I roll my eyes at him before turning my head back around to scan the horizon, catching Xaden looking at me with a smug look similar to Chradh’s.

”What?” I snap at him.

He chuckles before shaking his head at me. “Oh nothing, it’s just hilarious watching you constantly watching the horizon. Especially considering all your squad is back and safe.”

”Just curious to see who else comes back.” I tell him sternly, not wanting to deal with him also pushing my buttons over her.

”Sure, and that’s why your gaze keeps flickering to my squad. My squad which is only missing one member.” He says smuggly as he continues to smirk at me.

I swear between him, Bodhi, Imogen and Chradh I was going to snap and punch one of them soon. Any time I was near her or briefly looked in her direction they would make a comment. A comment that wasn’t necessary. She meant nothing to me. She was the daughter of our enemy.

”I know what you’re implying. I’m not looking for her, I couldn’t careless if she makes it back alive or not.” I tell him, my heart rate slightly picking up with the thought of her not coming back.

No. I did not care about her. Didn’t care if she made it back alive or dead. Though part of me wishes it was another Aetos we were waiting to come back. Across the field stood Dain with his newly acquired red dragon, looking way too happy with himself.

”Well good, because if you don’t care she’s back.” He says with a shrug.

My head snaps upwards at his words, and sure enough flying towards us is a large sapphire blue dragon. It’s size definitely rivalling that of Sgaeyl’s. Something I’m definitely sure she doesn’t like as she huffs and turns her head. I already know who sits atop its back as it lands, but I can’t help but look to confirm. Her familiar brown her catching the light as she jumps from his back.

As she turns around to start her walk down to the roll keeper I can’t help the anger that simmers through me at the blood that stains her face and some of her neck. My hands balling into fists at my side. There is no denying the blood is hers, most likely from her nose. It doesn’t look to be broken, but she has started to bruise. My face must giveaway my anger as she glares at me when her eyes meet mine before turning away from Xaden and I.

”You look like you want to murder someone for the blood she has on her.” He drawls next to me.

”I do not. I’m fine.” I snap back a little too aggressively as I unclench my fists.

”I’ve seen corpses more fine than you are right now.” He mutters sarcastically from next to me.

I roll my eyes at him before turning my head to the front where she joins the line waiting for the roll keeper. As she takes her place the Colonel stands from his seat, moving to stand just behind the roll keeper. Even from here I can see her shoulders tense as she watches him. That was definitely not a normal for reaction someone should have towards a parent. Hell we’d watched him walk towards Dain afterwards and clap him on the back and congratulating him. But this was different. Very different.

She takes her place in front of the roll keeper, ready to give the name of the large dragon in front of me. I can’t hear her, but I know when she says his name. The Colonels face shifting into one of pure anger and hatred. A far cry from the way he had looked at Dain when he had told his dragons name. As she turns and walks away I can see the smirk on her face, clearly proud of whatever blow she has dealt her father. Only solidifying Bodhi’s words of her knowing her dragon. Because it is clear her father also knows this dragon, and as I look over at Dain I know he does to. This dragon meant something to all of them.

I hear Xaden suck in a sharp breath and turn my gaze back to her to see the Colonel marching towards her and grabbing her by the arm to turn her back to him. I involuntarily step forward, ready to stalk down to her before a hand clamps onto my own arm. All I can do is stand there and watch as we watch whatever it is unfolds. And clearly we’re the only ones who are watching this go down as no one else turns to watch them.

She finally manages to get her arm out of his grip, stepping back to put distance between them. He quickly goes to close it again, but his head snaps up as something moves out of the corner of my eye. The blue dragon she has now bonded steps out of formation and moves to the middle of the field, eyeing off the Colonel that is clearly threatening his rider. With a fleeting glare at his daughter, he turns and makes his way back to his heat.

”Well that was fucking interesting.” Xaden utters next to me as the whole flight field looks between Dahlia and her dragon.

I nod my head in agreeance as I watch her make her way back to her dragon, not sparing a glance at anyone. She was fucking interesting for sure. And she was definitely starting to prove me wrong in more ways than one.

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness

[wolfnight2012]

So is the fandom at large still characterizing "Open Arms" as the ~pacifism~ song or have we gotten past that?

Like, I don't know how keen Polites was for violence as a soldier in the Trojan war, since we meet him after the fact & lose him soon after.

But "Open Arms" doesn't tell us about his capacity for violence. It barely tells us about his thoughts on violence as an option.

The most we can infer from "Full Speed Ahead" and "Open Arms" is that Polites doesn't believe violence is the only option (or the one they should jump to first.)

But that's not even what "Open Arms" is about (not really)

"Open Arms" is about Polites noticing Odysseus' trauma & trying to help his friend heal.

The first lines of the song are:

"I can tell you're getting nervous, so do yourself a service"

Here "nervous" isn't being used to mean "scared" but rather "anxious" or "tense." I think Polites is calling out the fact that Odysseus is going 'fight or flight' mode despite everything being calm/no threat in sight.

He then tells Odysseus to have hope.

"Think of all that we have been through, we'll survive what we get in to"

He then starts to call out Odysseus a bit more explicitly (and notice how Odysseus does not contradict him. After his first [and unconvincing imo] "I"m fine, Polites" Odysseus doesn't speak again until the lotus-eaters show up)

(Btw, if you wanna read my breakdown of Polites & Odysseus' relationship [as explicitly depicted in EPIC], I wrote a post about it here)

"I know that you're tired of the war & bloodshed" <-We the audience also know this: "Will these actions haunt my days/is the price I pay endless pain?" (Plus killing Astyanax messed him up)

"Tell me, is this how we're supposed to live?" <- Must we remain in that kill/be killed mindset, always on alert, always warriors first, men second?

"Look at how you grip your sword, enough said" <- I think we can infer that Polites is either calling out the fact that Odysseus hasn't let go of his sword since they left the ship (aka always in 'warrior mode' aka "is this how we're supposed to live?") OR that Odysseus is white-knuckling his sword, (aka he is nervous/ anxious/stressed about a potential attack despite no visible threats)

Either way, in Polites' eyes, this mentality is detrimental to his friends' mental and/or emotional health.

Then we get to the point where I think the misunderstanding started & ended up overshadowing the rest of the song:

"You can show a person that you trust them, when you stop and lower your guard" <- I think we can take this literally (lower your sword until you actually have need of it) or figuratively (be ~emotionally~ vulnerable by asking for help.)

"This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms" <- It doesn't have to be "endless pain" Life can be beautiful, but you have to stop closing yourself off/seeing everything as a threat first

Polites is arguing that the world is not always out to get you. Sometimes people are decent. Sometimes they are willing (or want) to help you.

It's a bit of "Try extending your hand in greeting before reaching for your sword" (Not everyone will be friendly, but you won't know if you are aggressive from the get-go.)

And a bit "Life is what you make of it" (if Ody treats every stranger like an enemy, then that is what they'll be.)

"We'll be fine if we're leading from the heart" I talk a bit about this in my response here. TLDR; Odysseus is lying to himself when he says he can "Lead from the heart & see what starts" in "Luck Runs Out" because that is not what he is doing,(and his reward is the windbag betrayal) MEANWHILE he does successfully "lead from the heart" while warding off Circe's advances & it's what saves his men/gains Circe's sympathy.

"No matter the place, we can light up the world, here's how to start" <- Again, life is what you make of it. You can make it a good one; not everything is an enemy/potential threat. Stop being a warrior first & go back to being a man

Of course, this doesnt immediately work, because Odysseus greets the world with his sword when the lotus-eaters show up

(Tbh, I find it hilarious that the lotus-eaters' FIRST word is "Welcome" and Odysseus responds to a Friendly Greeting by drawing his sword)

Like, Odysseus is genuinely seeing a threat here, he IS scared "nervous"

His first words to the lotus-eaters is a demand/warning for them to "stay back" (and both their cute voices [going off audio only] or their canonical fluffy designs tell us these are tiny things. They have no weapons, they haven't indicated any aggression, but Odysseus is so high-strung he sees something he might need to fight anyways)

THIS is what Polites has been refering to. THIS is why he's so concerned about his friend. That is not healthy and Odysseus is buckling under the weight of living in "survival" mode/always being "on"

"My friend, greet the world with open arms" <- this isnt Polites horrified Odysseus is responding with aggression/concerned for the innocent lotus-eaters, THIS is Polites (knowing Odysseus is tired of war & bloodshed) reminding his friend that he doesn't have to put himself through this. There IS another way. These creatures could be friendly, "Maybe they'll share some food, who knows?" Maybe, maybe not, but they won't know until they extend a hand first & ask.

And Odysseus does it by half measures *cough* just like all his actions after "Just a Man"*cough*

He lets the lotus-eaters know of their plight "We're only here for food" and threatens them in the next breath "600 men are waiting/stay back, I'm warning you/my men will turn this place into blazes"

He doesn't even ask for food/help, he simply lets the lotus-eaters know they're searching for food, then immediately piles on three additional threats to make sure they don't try anything.

Then of course the lotus-eaters offer food, but not food they can eat & Odysseus becomes dejected (which I think implies he was [sorta] listening to Polites, or at the very least, is so tired/stressed/wrung-out that he was secretly hoping it could be as easy as Polites claims.)

And Polites tries one more time.

"I'd like to show my friend that kindness is brave" <- I've seen so many people call Polites naive. That his optimism is too extreme/and not fit for the world (or at least the world of EPIC) but i would disagree with this common interpretation as well.

Why is kindness brave? If Polites believed greeting the world with open arms would help them find ONLY friendly strangers (instead of hostile ones or outright foes) then why would kindness be brave. Wouldn't it simply be? After all, what's brave about a sure thing? What's brave about having a get-out-of-danger-free card?

Kindness is brave because sometimes you WILL be met with hostile strangers/foes. But you extend your hand in peace first anyways. You don't know for certain if you will be met with friend or foe. But that does not mean you walk around, one hand on your sword, seeing enemies at every turn. You greet the world with open arms & give strangers the benefit of the doubt first, THEN use force if necessary.

I see Polites' philosophy as similar to Waymond's from EEAAO in that regard.

Polites, like Waymond, is choosing kindness. Is choosing to be optimistic. Not because he is naive to the ways of the world, but in spite of them. That is how Polites fights against darkness & despair. He is not naive.

When Polites tells the lotus eaters he'd "Like to show my friend that kindness is brave" he knows he's taking a risk. That's why it's brave. He is extending his trust to these creatures in the hopes they'll help/they have no ill intent, BUT being Well Aware he could be met with the latter.

Just because he's optimistic about the outcome doesn't mean he doesnt understand the risk. To refuse to dwell on the negative doesn't mean you're unaware of negative possibilities.

Then Polites reiterates his advice "This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms" because it doesn't have to all be war & bloodshed & stress. You CAN find goodness in the world, and you'll feel much better if you don't assume everyone & everything is out to get you. And he lets Ody know he's aware of what he's going through/what's upsetting him.

"I seen in your face there is so much guilt inside your heart" <- I genuinely don't know if the crew know Odysseus dropped Astyanax, every time Odysseus references the infant, it's vaguely or as an aside. But even if Polites DOESN'T know Odysseus killed an infant, he still has 10 years of war to draw from (plus the wooden horse/killing sleeping Trojans bit.) Like, Polites is aware of what Odyssues has done, he knows what Odysseus is grappling with. This is not a simple/superficial/naive call for Odysseus to 'cheer up!' Polites knows of the darkness weighing on Odysseus' shoulders & he's telling Odysseus he's allowed to put it behind him.

"So why not replace it, and light up the world" <- He's allowed. It's over. It's behind them. Polites does not want his friend to torment himself forever. Whatever he did, he can move on. He can be a better man that what he was forced to become while at war/Troy (remember, Polites is well aware Odysseus is "tired of the war and bloodshed".)

And how can Odysseus begin to heal from his guit/trauma?

"Greet the world with open arms" <- stop seeing every stranger as a potential enemy/threat. Open yourself up to the possibility that good things happen sometimes. Sometimes, people are kind

"Greet the world with open arms" <- and Odysseus begins to tentatively open himself up to the concept & take Polites' words to heart

"You can relax, my friend" <- you're allowed

Sidenote: I told myself this post would ONLY be about Open Arms (and this ended up being SO Much longer than I anticipated) but I have a few more things to say, so I'll try to be brief.

Warrior of the Mind:

I'm convinced Athena pops in when she does because Odysseus is listening to Polites. He's been eaten by guilt since Astyanax & shyed away from violence in Full Speed Ahead. His nervousness is not very "warrior of the mind" of him. YET Athena doesn't come in to scold Odysseus at any of these points.

It's only when Odysseus sings Polites' chorus back to him, signaling he's opening himself up to the concept of open arms that Athena makes her entrance.

Polyphemus:

I'm not asserting this, but I think the argument can be made that Odysseus checks out the cave because of Polites. Like, either:

A.) He's giving Polites' advice a try here & now by trusting the lotus eaters/that they mean no ill-intent OR

B.) (less likely probaby??) His friendship/affection for Polites is the sort where he wants to please him. Polites is set on trusting the lotus/showing Odyssues "another way" & Odysseus will humor him because it's Polites asking

(Tho obviously the other explanation is that they are just THAT desperate for food & Odysseus doesn't think they have time to go searching for yet another island when this one (the lotus eater one) already turned out to be a bust

Underworld:

I feel like the general consensus for Polites' section of "Underworld" is that Polites died still seeing/believing in the good of the world OR that his dying wish was for Odysseus to chose nonviolence/pacifism???

(But as you can tell from *gestures at this entire post* I don't subscribe to the idea that "Open Arms" is about nonviolence. THEREFORE)

We know Polites last words/action in life was calling for Odysseus. And, imo, Polites' dying wish was for Odysseus to heal. If "Open Arms" is about Polites' calling out Odysseus' stress/trauma & trying to coax Ody to approach life differently so he can start to move on from the horrors of war.

Then that means, in death, Polites is stuck hoping Odysseus heals. Over & Over Polites sings for his friend to let go of his guilt & try to build a life worth living (not just one have to survive in)

And THAT imo is 1000x sadder than a call for pacifism. Because Polites' dying wish doesn't come true. Odysseus' mental/emotional health grows worse & worse. He pushes everyone away in the Ocean Saga, to the point that his crew of 10 years starts to doubt him! He already "can hardly sleep" in the Circe Saga. The Underworld Saga almost destroys him and it only gets worse from there!

In the Underworld Odysseus is confronted with Polites' love for him. His desire for him to get better. His hope for Odysseus to find peace/happiness.

Polites loved him soooo much, his Final Thoughts were concern for his friend. (Then Ody gets to hear from his mom, who loved him so much she died waiting for his return)

No wonder it breaks him.

[Anyways, if you wanna see my (much shorter) post over how the Wisdom Saga basically argues for/confirms Polites' philosophy Was RIGHT, you can find it here]

[milehighmegs]

The Window Theory

This is kind of a two-parter, and a bit long and circular, but it all connects, so just bear with me 😁

So, I just finished my 42598302621827732263435th re-watch of S2E6. When Beez says, "I just found something more important than taking sides," and she & Gabe join hands, Zira touches Crowley's arm. Ya know, this touch:

Look at Zira's face. I think, maybe- just MAYBE- Zira finally realizes that this is what Crowley's been talking about every time he's said, "our side." He reaches out to Crowley, but because he can't actually speak at that moment, it's his way of saying, "Oh my god. I get it now. I completely understand." And if you watch a bit longer, when Crowley walks away to take Nina & Maggie out of the shop, he keeps reaching for Crowley (couldn't find a GIF of it, but it's there). Almost like he's saying, "oh, oh yes, we are going to have a VERY good talk when this is all wrapped up."

There's also an element of "we're not the only ones," and "maybe, if the Supreme Archangel of Heaven can fall for the Grand Duke of Hell, this isn't as bad as I've been telling myself it is." If Gabelzebub haven't been- smote? smited? smitten- by God or devoured by Satan for falling in love (and not being coy or secretive about it), maybe Zira is FINALLY ready to actually be with Crowley, in the open, and without fear.

But we all know what happened after that.

Yes, Metatron is a bastard. But (and this is just a bit of a theory here) in telling Zira that he (Metatron) knew about the "de facto partnership" with Crowley, and then later about the Second Coming, he gave the whole game away**. Zira thought that Heaven wasn't watching all that closely. And maybe they weren't, right up until the two of them thwarted the Nopocalypse, but looked into the records and found out what they'd been up to for millennia. What Zira knows now is that not only are they aware of it, they are fully prepared to use it as a threat against him, but more so against Crowley. At that moment, however, that's all he knows. Metatron didn't mention the plans for the Second Coming until after The Kiss™. So after accepting Metatron's offer and desperately trying to convince Crowley to come with him and failing, but before the Jesus 2.0 bomb, Zira is visibly shaken (I mean, I would be too if I had just accepted that I COULD be with the love of my life, then got kissed like THAT by them, only to be broken up with right after they told me that they felt we'd been together all along). He didn't have a plan to protect Crowley. He didn’t think he needed one because he was so sure that his offer to go to Heaven would be accepted. He figured it was a given, knowing & understanding now that Crowley wanted to be with him, and part of the reinstatement of Crowley as an angel would facilitate that.

Now that Crowley has refused, Zira doesn't know what to do. He didn't have a backup plan. And he still, at that point, doesn't really know what Metatron needs him for. It's why he hesitates to leave at first. For the first time since The Arrangement, he doesn’t have a partner. He's alone, trying to figure things out, trying to find some way, ANY way, to make this work. He keeps looking out the window, ostensibly at Crowley, but... did you notice that we're never actually shown WHAT he's looking at? I have a feeling we'll find out in S3 what it is, but for now, he's flustered, anxious, and of course still reeling from what had just happened. He looks out the window a second time, and just, like... suddenly snaps out of it. We can tell, as the audience, that there's a lot of game face happening here, because we know Zira: we know his mannerisms, his moods, his reactions to certain things. And we also know he's smart. But I digress.

Something occurs to him (or he sees something out the window), which is why he suddenly feigns detachment and goes with Metatron. The wheels start to churn, but only insofar as it has to do with protecting Crowley. When the Second Coming plans for Supreme Archangel Aziraphale are dropped, everything changes. EVERYTHING. He suddenly realizes that the whole purpose of the offer, and the chance to take Crowley with him, was a trap. Metatron knew Crowley would refuse, and having made the threat, he knew Zira wouldn’t refuse. Zira understands the offer’s true purpose was to separate them so that they couldn't prevent another apocalypse. So now, not only is Crowley's life at risk, but Earth is once again under the threat of annihilation, and he doesn't have the one person he's always been able to rely on to help him prevent it. He goes with Metatron because he knows it's the only thing he can do to protect Earth AND his beloved.

That one last look at Crowley... I don't know, maybe something had passed between them through the window that we don't yet know about. Maybe Zira just had a sudden realization that had nothing to do with what he was looking at (perhaps the bullet catch mentioned below**?). Whatever the case, hearing about Armagedd-it's-back-on was a seismic shift in his attitude. You can see it in his demeanor: he’s no longer flustered, no longer searching for answers, no longer anxious about what happens next. In short, SHIT JUST GOT REAL. Because of this, Zira has to once again think fast, but keep Crowley in the dark, and get to work. That ride up in the elevator was spent hatching the most clever, most ingenious, dare I say the most devilish plan the Universe has ever seen. He is really and truly on OUR side now, the side that he & Crowley had been on for millennia, the side he was no longer pretending to NOT be on, the side that he finally stepped into with perfect love and perfect trust. With no way to tell Crowley about the Second Coming and therefore what he was planning, it seems like he chose Heaven over love. But he didn't. He did choose Crowley, but he also chose Earth, and in reality, he chose "us." It's just going to have to wait.

**If you wanna go really deep with this, the whole reason for the bullet catch episode was to mirror Furfur’s threat with the Metatron’s, and Furfur also revealed the plan too soon (I think there’s also another reason for this episode, details below). Like a bad Bond villain, they were too cocky. In 1941, Zira was able to think fast, palm the photo, and protect him & Crowley. But note that he didn’t tell Crowley what he was doing (there was neither time nor opportunity); Crowley only found out after the fact, when they were having dinner later. Zira protected "us" even then because only hours before, he realized that he loved Crowley and (I'm pretty sure) that Crowley loved him back. At the time, however, he didn't think anything could come of it. But that touch in the bookshop... that's when he knew. So when Metatron made the offer, there was no need to protect anything because he thought Crowley would come back to Heaven. Since that went down like a lead balloon, Zira is left helpless & scrambling. Then that look out the window... I think Zira remembered the bullet catch. That silent "trust me." The “aim for my mouth then shoot past my ear.” The diversion tactic. Again, until the Second Coming plans are revealed, Zira only plans to find a way to protect Crowley in secret. When the stakes rise, Zira ups his game. THAT’S the reason for the changing looks on his face on the elevator ride. THAT’s what the smile is about. He’s doing the calculations, setting up the illusion, perfecting the con. And just like the magic act he & Crowley pulled when they saved Job’s children, just like when Crowley seemed to be the random volunteer to pull the trigger, Zira knows his partner will be there to help him pull it off one more time. Even if it means leaving him, leaving him in the dark once again.

[unabashegirl]

Different 8 | College HS

Harry's quiet, routine-driven life changes one weekend when he meets Y/N through a mutual friend at her party. She comes from a superficial, materialistic world with absent parents who believe money solves everything. Despite their differences, something clicks that night, and Y/N can't stop thinking about him.

Author's note: Hiii, here is a new chapter of Different. I hope you enjoy!

check out my patreon (starting at $2) and get full access to all 25 chapters, various one shots and much more :)

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masterlist

Harry watched her as she slid out of the car. She never really jumped out or stepped off because of her height difference. Her Jeep was too elevated off the ground. He found it adorable. She locked and closed the door before trotting to him and grabbing his hand.

Harry noticed how she pulled on the sleeves of her shirt and how she buttoned up. He could see that she was nervous, and it was a nice change. “Do I look okay?” she whispered as they entered the dorm. “I should have worn makeup,” she said under her breath.

“You look stunning. Stop worrying,” Harry reassured her, nudging her hand away from her hair. “They don’t bite. I promise,” he whispered as he pulled her toward the foyer of the dorm.

“Wait, Harry!” she stopped him, suddenly very concerned and anxious. She wanted to make a good first impression, and Harry had barely spoken about his parents. Therefore, Y/N didn’t have the slightest idea of how to approach them. “What do I say?”

“Just be you.” She inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm her heart rate. Y/N also felt a bit uncomfortable being in the dorm. She felt like it was something prohibited, even though it wasn’t.

“Mum,” Harry called out as they walked up to a small sitting area by the fireplace. The first thing Y/N noticed was how nicely they were both dressed. She could see the resemblance. Y/N could see where Harry had gotten his luscious head of hair, but he definitely had his mother’s eyes.

Harry’s dad got up as soon as he noticed them. He was just as tall as Harry. They looked like printed copies, except he had salt-and-pepper hair.

“This is Y/N,” Harry introduced her as she nervously leaned forward and stretched out a hand.

Harry’s dad cheekily winked at his son, then shifted his attention back to Y/N.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. Styles,” she said as soon as he shook her hand.

“It’s nice to finally put a face to your name. We’ve heard lots about you,” he said. “Although, he has been very secretive about you.” Y/N giggled and glanced at Harry for a second. It was true—he had only mentioned very surface-level things about her.

“You are gorgeous,” Mrs. Styles said before anyone else could say something. “Hello,” she breathed, stretching her hand out for Y/N, which she gracefully took without any hesitation.

“Good evening, Mrs. Styles.” Harry stood back and watched the most important women in his life interact with one another.

“Please call me Anne,” she insisted, taking the stress and tension off Y/N. “Now, where is this wonderful café that you keep talking about?”

“It’s just a few blocks away. Is that alright?” Harry threw an arm over his mother’s shoulders as he guided her out of the dorm and toward another exit.

“It’s fine, as long as it has some decent food.” Harry stretched out his other hand for Y/N to take when he noticed that she was quietly drifting behind.

Y/N quietly figured out where he was taking them. It was a cute, cozy café that served all types of food, only a couple of blocks away from school.

“What would you like?” Harry asked her as they finally arrived at the cute coffee shop.

“Coffee, please,” she shyly said as the three stared at her. “Would you like some help?” she asked, slowly rising from her seat.

“No need to,” Harry smiled at her before going up to order.

The family ordered coffee for everyone and a few of everything. They had been traveling most of the day, which was why they were starving.

The conversation naturally started flowing, with Mr. Styles asking Y/N what her parents did for a living, where she lived, and what she was studying. Harry’s mother was too entertained eating a chocolate croissant to interrupt but eventually joined in.

They talked about America and how different it was from England. Mrs. Styles also made sure to openly invite Y/N to England. The conversation eventually drifted to the two women as they took charge, sharing different anecdotes and jokes. Harry and his father sat back, only chiming in here and there.

Harry didn’t mind remaining silent as it gave him the opportunity to watch her and the way she expressed herself. It was mesmerizing how she gesticulated and emphasized her points using her hands.

“I’m sure your parents come to visit all the time. How lucky to live so close to you. I wish I could see my Harry that often,” Mrs. Styles said, tearing up a little. They had just arrived, but she already missed him. Y/N tensed up at the mention of her parents and couldn’t help feeling jealous that Harry had loving parents always willing to travel to see him.

Harry looked up at his mom and slightly shook his head, hinting that parents were a touchy subject for Y/N. Mrs. Styles instantly caught on and quickly moved on.

“This has been lovely, but unfortunately, I have to get going. I have an early class tomorrow,” Y/N apologized, remembering that she still had to make herself some lunch and do laundry.

“Of course! Thank you for joining us, Y/N. I’m so happy to finally meet you,” Mrs. Styles said, pulling her into a hug. “Please come visit.”

“Thank you for having me. I hope to see you both soon, and I hope you enjoy your stay,” Y/N said as she hugged Mr. Styles too.

“I’ll be back in a few,” Harry said to them before following after her. “Hey,” he called out to her and stopped her. “Thank you for coming. You were so sweet.”

“I hope they like me,” she whispered, now nervous to know what impression they had of her.

Harry smiled and kissed her, sending a chill down her back.

“I’m sure they do,” he reassured her, pushing a strand of hair back after it had gone rogue. “Why are you pouting?” Harry tilted his head, waiting for an explanation. He ran his fingers across her untucked lip, holding back his desire to bite it.

Harry chuckled and kissed her softly, taking his time. His hands itched with the desire to touch her.

“I have to go,” she exhaled loudly as she gently pulled away.

“Drive safe,” he called out to her. “Text me when you get home.” She turned and smiled at him before continuing to walk. He waited until she had disappeared before heading back inside. “What do you think?” he asked, sitting down beside his mother.

“She’s really sweet. I like her,” Harry smiled back at his mother. “Is she officially your girlfriend?”

“Yes,” Harry lied, not wanting to worry them or let them think that things were complicated.

“Good,” Mr. Styles smiled as they left the café. Harry insisted on accompanying his parents to the hotel before going back to the dorm.

He texted her as soon as he got back to his room, ending the day with a golden brooch.

Thank you for today. I am so lucky to have you. Sweet dreams.

Monday came around like every other day. Harry rushed around his dorm room, trying to get everything ready for class since he had woken up relatively late.

He had lunch with Sarah, who confessed her initial annoyance towards Y/N. Things had changed for her since the weekend.

In the afternoon, Harry had an organic chemistry class on the other side of campus. A class that he had tried his best not to dislike, but it had been impossible lately, especially since the professor always seemed angry and dull.

He sat by the window, which allowed him to get a bit distracted and not fall asleep as easily. As expected, the professor walked in with his permanent frown. He looked like he hated breathing the same air as them. He immediately directed them to their books and handed out a worksheet for people to develop in pairs.

Harry worked on it quickly, not wanting to have to take it home. However, he was interrupted by honking. His attention drifted to the source of it. He did a double-take, not believing his eyes.

“Do you see her?” Harry nudged Ganesh, with whom he was paired. Ganesh chuckled and shook his head at Harry.

“You are one lucky son of a bitch, Harry Styles,” Ganesh responded as they both looked over at her.

She had parked across the street under a tree. Y/N waved and motioned for him to come out.

“What are you still doing here?” Ganesh asked. “Go live a little,” he insisted.

Harry smiled to himself as he considered every possible outcome of not attending class. He quickly threw everything into his backpack and waited until the professor turned to look at his laptop to sneak out.

“What are you doing here?” he laughed, his arms wide open. “Wait, how do you know my schedule?”

“Too many questions! Get in!”

[nori-the-cat]

RIIZE member’s thoughts and feelings on their anniversary, being 6 vs 7, and Seunghan // Tarot Reading (Requested)

Remember, tarot readings should be taken with a grain of salt!

The 6 RIIZE member's thoughts on their anniversary:

Cards drawn: 2 of cups rx, queen of swords, judgement, 3 of pentacles, king of pentacles rx, and wheel of fortune

I pulled 6 cards for each member. The energy from them is complex and not as honest as you can see on the RIIZE official account. But, more or less, those anniversary messages are somewhat similar to their thoughts and feelings. Shotaro has been having a difficult time understanding his members. He thinks there is some tension between them like there is this lingering awkwardness. Eunseok is using his rationality to understand the situation and being pragmatic about it. Sungchan is happy that RIIZE reached 1 year in their career. He couldn't believe it. He wants to move forward and is ready to take on any challenges that will come his way. Wonbin seems to be relying on 3 members of the group. He seems to be close to 3 particular members. These members give him a sense of hope and purpose, that with them he can achieve anything. To him, sticking to these members will bring some kind of financial success. And these members seem to be the ones who are aligned with his goals. Sohee has reached his limit. He feels stuck and hopes that the situation will get better. Anton feels excited and anxious. He knows his job as an idol is not easy and that success is temporary. So, he's trying to make use of the situation.

I did Seunghan's reading separately because he's on a hiatus and the energy from him is a lot complex. I've also done a reading on his current energy so you guys can check that out.

Anyway, Seunghan feels frustrated and he's coping with the situation in an unhealthy way (temperance rx). This card appeared in the previous reading I did about him and it appears again in this reading, which means he's really coping with the situation in an unhealthy way and possibly doing things like drinking too much. Another interesting thing is that he feels that he's being lied to, taken advantage of, and betrayed (7 of Swords rx). He thinks the group staying as 7 is an illusion. It's possible that SM is making it seem like the group will be back as 7, but Seunghan was never informed about it or was/is a part of that plan. He's like "They're using me! They're using my name for clout! For marketing! They're lying". He's really frustrated, and sad, and doesn't know how to feel about his members.

He could possibly be relying on someone for security and stability. This someone might be a female figure (Queen of Pentacles). But I don't know what's the relationship between them.

Current group dynamic?

Cards drawn: 5 of pentacles reverse, the empress, king of wands, knight of cups, 8 of cups reverse, and the tower

There is a leader. They already have or have someone leading the group. However, this is happening behind the scenes. Whoever this member is, he's nurturing and creative. He seems to be leading the group a lot lately. Let's see who this person is...

Individually, the members feel different types of emotions when it comes to the group dynamic. I'm not sure if the pay is equal but there are certain members that feels like he's not paid as much as the other members. Or is the situation that is making the group not earn as much? Maybe both? I'm not sure. This is making him feel like he has to hold onto his money and be wise about it. This member is Shotaro.

Eunseok and Sungchan are taking on the parent role in the group. Eunseok is the empress and Sungchan is the king of wands. With the King of Wands, it looks like Sungchan is the current leader of the group. He seems to be the one talking to SM about his creative ideas and his plan for RIIZE. However, Sungchan can sometimes be too controlling. Meanwhile, Eunseok seems to be the person that the younger members rely on and he provides them with emotional support. Wonbin (knight of cups), Sohee (8 of cups rx), and Anton (the tower). They're having a hard time. Emotionally, they're thinking a lot about their own future in the group and the group's future. They're thinking a lot about SM's decision which is making them stay awake at night.

Nonetheless, they're getting along just fine. With a few favouritism and jealousy here and there. By this I mean, that some members feel like they get along with certain members while some still take time to open up and be honest.

How do they feel about Seunghan?

I use my pendulum to see if the members want to continue as 6 or go back as 7. I use tarot cards to see how the members are feeling about him.

Shotaro - 7 of swords rx

He thinks Seunghan has lied to him and betrayed the group. He has no trust in him and their relationship is not good right now. But in his heart, he kinda wants to go back as 7.

Eunseok - Queen of Wands rx

He's mad at Seunghan. This card is also a feminine card and possibly related to a woman. There is something about Seunghan that he knows and is making him feel...lowkey resentful towards him and this might be about a woman.... He may have also found out something about him recently...Their relationship is not good right now too...He thinks it's better that the group moves on and stays as 6.

Sungchan - 5 of pentacles rx

He feels that Seunghan's actions have caused them financial hardship. At the same time, he's low-key sick of being 6. Seunghan's absence has hurt the group's finances and career prospects. He just wanna get on with his work and move on. Despite his anger, he also wants the group to go back as 7.

Wonbin - 2 of cups rx

If he would and could, he chooses not to think about him. He's unhappy. Similar to Eunseok, there is anger and resentment in his heart. He also wants the group to go back to being 7 again.

Sohee - 3 of cups rx

He feels betrayed. He's disappointed in him too. And lately, he's been thinking about his connection with him as a member. He has a lot of thoughts about Seunghan and the group as 7. At the moment, Sohee wants the group to remain as 6.

Anton - 7 of wands rx

He's like. "None of my business". He's too overwhelmed to even think about the group as 7 or even Seunghan. He wants the group to stay like it is right now, as 6.

Overall, the cards tell me a range of negative emotions towards Seunghan. The members may be feeling betrayed, angry, resentful, or hurt by his actions. However, it's important to note that these are potential interpretations based on the cards drawn, and the actual emotions of the members may be more complex or nuanced.

[satureja13]

While Vlad and Ji Ho and Sai and Jeb enjoy their couple time together, good mates Jack and Kiyoshi are having a picknick. Even though they are supposed to meet for dinner soon. Jack is always hungry. And Kiyoshi wonders why they are not having pizza again, Jack's favourite.

Kiyoshi doesn't realize he's walking on the water again. Or he forgot they are back in the Muggle World and he shouldn't reveal his divine nature here... Let's just hope no one notices him ö.Ö'

And while Jack is happily riding around with a Jet Ski he rented, Kiyoshi is happily browsing his phone. He'd even been longer without reception than the others. 60+ years! A lot to keep up with.

When Jack finally left the ocean and joined Kiyoshi on his blanket, it already got dark and they have to leave soon to meet the others. But Jack wanted to talk to Kiyoshi. He needs to make sure this mateship of theirs is not going to drag them back down to the hell they've been in during their relationship. Jack is not sure how to start and how Kiyoshi would take it so he waited until they were almost due to leave... Jack: "Kiyoshi..." Kiyoshi: "Hm?" Jack took a deep breath in and then he let it all out: "You know, after I - uhm... left you, I had to have a talk with Greg. And as much as I hate him, I think I have to admit that he was right - in some points at least. He said a relationship is hard work. And he didn't hesitate to point out that I also played my part in ruining - eh, us. So I want to make sure we talk about things that make us feel uncomfortable. And things we need - and want." Kiyoshi laughed: "Ah, he gave me that talk too. Even twice. To make sure it seeps through, I guess." Jack: "What? When?" Kiyoshi: "When we were here together, at Beltane. I was still a bit out but he managed to reach me, he is very powerful. And wise."

Jack: "So, what do you think?" Kiyoshi: "I think we should follow his advice and work hard. I cherish ... our mateship too much to let it go to waste again. I promise you, I won't keep anything from you and talk to you if I feel uncomfortable. And about my wants and needs. I will share it all with you. No more hiding - no more secrets." He wanted to say '...you' instead of '...our mateship', but it's not the right time for this when Jack wants to discuss their mateship. And he's still so anxious and vulnerable. It's just the beginning. And they have all the time in the worlds to sort it out. And so they agreed to the new terms and conditions of their mateship.

But Jack was so anxious of being hurt again, he couldn't help it and asked: "Do you think it will work?" Kiyoshi: "Let's just do our best, hm? We both changed, a lot." Jack pondered about it for a while and came to the conclusion Kiyoshi was right. Kiyoshi had spent 6 decades in that tree to reflect and Jack went through the hell of pain for leaving him, his Alpha. And the therapy game chased him through an almost relationship with Lou and even killed him so he could make a brandnew start. They now both know what they have lost. And what they have been missing. A chill wind blew over the ocean to the beach and Jack, who was still wet, shivered. Kiyoshi noticed it: "Don't tell me you are cold!" Jack: "What? No! I'm the Super Soldier, after all!" Kiyoshi laughed: "Hey, no more secrets! You promised!" Jack: "Fine! I'm cold. But it's just a reaction. Because my skin is still wet!" Kiyoshi: "Aouwww. Come here." And he pulled Jack close.

And Jack leaned in. He felt warm in an instant. Kiyoshi smelled so good. Like sun and ocean and food - and Kiyoshi's very own, incomparable scent. Jack: "Do you think this is a weird thing to do for mates?" Kiyoshi: "It's only weird when we make it weird. If it feels good for both of us and we agree on something, nothing should be weird between us. Right?" Jack moved even closer to Kiyoshi's warm body: "Right. We can't compare our mateship with what others have and do, I guess. Not even our woohoo felt weird for me. It felt good, great even. Even though we didn't both agree beforehand. I only felt so bad because I thought it was - eh ... inapproprate, you know. Since you're a diety now." Kiyoshi: "And I was horrified because I knew what you went through and I - eh ... felt I kind of exploited the situation. Though, I had no choice, like you. But it felt good for me too." Jack sighed as he remembered: "So good." Kiyoshi pulled Jack a bit tighter and put a soft kiss on Jack's wet, sandy hair.

They sat there, cuddling, until Jack's phone made weird zombie sounds (that's his ringtone for Sai...) Message from Sai: 'Where are you? We're waiting at the restaurant!' Seems it's really about time to leave. Kiyoshi was already dressed while Jack was still shaking the water - and sand - out of his hair. Kiyoshi endured it - and smiled. It might sound strange, but this quirky side of Jack played a big part helping Kiyoshi get out of the tree. And he wouldn't want to miss it.

Eventually they put the blanket in Jack's inventory and ran over to the restaurant boat in the harbor of Porto Azzurro. Jack knew they would have pizza for dinner, so he was fine with eating something else at their picknick ;)

Ah, it's been a long time since I've seen them so happy together. One of the best days I've ever had with them <3

'It's merely human situations The moments between us both The distance, the passions Finding a reason. Today...Like always, I am thinking of you.

Yes, you see. It's merely human conditions Feeling well or not If it's by day, or if it's by night If it's nostalgia or post-love. Today...Like always, I am thinking of you

Like our time hasn't yet passed. Tell me, where are we? What could happen? Hearts bound by an arrow, but, To each other that's the barrier that must be demolished I am thinking of you. I am thinking of me' Cosas della Vida - Tina Turner & Eros Ramazotti

Outtakes

Ah, I so wanted them both on the Jet Ski, like on their date over a year ago here at Tartosa! But Kiyoshi refused to stay in the water because he developed thalassophobia (fear of water). Who knows when -.- And I only realized hours later: I should have given him that fear-be-gone potion or already turn off that stupid fear option (but it would also remove the wants, I guess?) but I don't use them anyway either. Little Goat: 'That's boring!' Little Goat: 'Let's go over and watch Ji Ho and Vlad again, then!'

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-28

[lesbianmarrow]

augh. rewatched btvs 5x22 scene where spike & buffy go to buffy's house to get weapons before the big showdown. them having to retrieve weapons is such an amusingly flimsy excuse to have them go to her house so we can have the scene where she invites him in + he promises to protect dawn + "i know you'll never love me" speech. i love a paper-thin excuse to put 2 characters in a room together. especially when those characters are buffy and spike!!!!!!!!!!!!

it really is so striking the way spike refrains from asking buffy to let him in even though he would be perfectly justified in doing so as it's obvious that buffy has forgotten he's not allowed in. i think part of it is that he wants to make it clear that he will respect the boundaries she has set with him. but i also think part of it is that he doesn't wanna feel the pain of being rejected again, because that fucking hurt. if he doesn't ask then he doesn't have to hear her say no again. it shows how head over heels he is for her and how much he has changed since the beginning of the season, when he was challenging her boundaries so much.

spike's expression when he's walking thru the doorway......it's so endearing and some really great acting from james marsters. first surprise and disbelief, then glee which spike is trying very hard to restrain because these are grave times. and yet he can't help feeling so joyous that buffy trusts him. he glances as the doorway like he's thinking "ah yes what a nice house" which makes me laugh because it's so stupid but also sweet. i think it's him trying to play it cool and doing a not so good job of it. there's such a lightness to him - it reminds me of the feeling when you think you did something to upset your friend a few days ago and you're anxious that they've been angry with you all this time and you finally gain the courage to ask them about you and it turns out they were never angry or upset at all. the giddy relief you feel.

and then there's that little moment of tension where they're standing so close together and you think something might happen but then spike breaks off and goes to the weapons chest and starts rambling about what they should take. it's so notable that it's him who gets nervous and moves away. so different from the way he behaved with her in fool for love, getting up in her space and trying to make her admit she had feelings for him. he's accepted that she'll never love him back, and moments like this where it feels like maybe there could be something between them are too painful, so he disrupts the moment. moves away.

jumping to the end of the scene - i love that buffy is on the stairs when spike does his little speech. she's physically above him. "you're beneath me." not only that, she's ascending, just as she ascends at the end of the episode, accessing a level of heroism that spike will never be able to meet. rewatching this part, spike's expression really surprised me. when he says "i know you'll never love me," he doesn't look at all bitter or resentful. his face is open, understanding, compassionate, and thankful. because that's what this speech is - he's thanking her for treating him better than he deserves. he's so grateful for the respect and trust she has given him. it has been truly transformative, as we've seen. only he doesn't get to the actual thanking part, because he cuts himself off, saying he'll wait for her down here. i think he cuts himself off because he realizes that this isn't what buffy needs to hear right now. she's got an enormous battle to prepare for, and a sister to save, and spike's feelings simply aren't important. so he stops mid-sentence for her sake. i think we're meant to understand that the only reason he started to say this at all is that he really thinks he might die tonight and it could be his last chance to let her know what it has meant to him to be treated like a person capable of doing good.

i've focused on what's going thru spike's head in this post bc i think buffy is a lot harder to read here. which is interesting bc sarah michelle gellar as buffy is so expressive that usually you can always tell exactly what buffy is thinking. but when she's with spike in these episodes toward the end of season 5 it's difficult to tell how she regards him. i think a lot of the time even she doesn't really understand how she feels about him. their relationship is so paradoxical. she relies on him but she reviles him. she wants him around but she finds him intolerable. i might rewatch the scene again and make another post about what might be going thru buffy's head, but for now i'll leave it at saying that i kind of love how spike's feelings for buffy are crystal clear to us and buffy's feelings for spike are much murkier. spike started out as this cool mysterious antagonist, whereas buffy has always been the protagonist and we're constantly seeing things from her point of view and being made to understand how she feels. so it's kind of fun to see that flipped a little bit. and it also rings really true for me how buffy in this moment is like, i have 5 billion things to be worrying about right now, i cannot even begin to process whatever feelings i may or may not have regarding spike. and with all of that said........there really is a softness to the way she treats him in this scene. and it's nice.

anyway. these two ✌️ gonna go jump off a tall tall tower

[theoneoftwoworlds]

This is probably related to my personality, state of mind and core values, but I view Lord Ares' energy a bit different than what I see here.

To me, Lord Ares is calm. He is the motto "It is scary because it's unfamiliar, not because you're incapable." He reminds me that I can do it scared. That I can be scared, be anxious, that I can tremble from fear and still do something. That courage is born when you are scared, and still make a step forward.

He is not my shield - He lets me face my challenges face-on, but He's always got my back. Maybe that's a reflection of myself, my life story and shit I've been through: I am scared of having my back turned to someone, but with Him having my back, I am safe. I can do it, no matter how scared I am.

He is also the reminder that sometimes acting will only hurt me. That there are situations where all I can do is wait. He pats my back and says "I know it's hard, but you will make it," while I shed my tears of helplessness and longing.

He is calm, and firm. He teaches me when to say "I see you, I see your feelings, but I won't let you treat me like this." He teaches me that anger is good. Anger is often self-love. But being angry does not entitle me to act in ways I do not like. He is the hand on my shoulder, the silent "Stop, breathe, and then act."

He is gentle. He is calm. But He takes no shit from me. He understands how I feel. He understands that some things are better to leave alone for a while. He understands that sometimes the best thing I can do is not to fight. To wait things through.

He pushes me forward. He shows me I can do more. When I think I can't do any more reps of some exercise, He tells me "Just 10 more. I know you can." When I think I can't keep going, He is there to tell me I can.

I am grateful to worship Lord Ares.

[blu3-l0v3r]

─୨ৎ Transfer student ୨ৎ─

˙⋆ ✮ Toge Inumaki x reader, fluff, college AU, non-cursed speech AU, friends to lovers, mutual pining, future angst?, Streamer Inumaki ✮˙⋆

prev chapter - next chapter

You were a new student, who had recently transferred to a new college in Tokyo.

Here at your new college, Jujutsu Tokyo Tech, you were going to be a second year, and the class you picked to specialize in filming and camera work.

You had also wanted to get a major in art, but sadly, the class was already full by the time you transferred, what a pain.

But you were NOT about to let this discourage you from letting you thrive into a fresh college year; you were determined to make the best of this transfer decision, and a silly major was not going to make you give up before even getting the chance to start.

This morning, you woke up at 5.30 AM, to get ready for your first lecture at 8.

Everything was planned out: shower at 5.40, getting ready and makeup from 6.00 to 6.15, packing your bag in 5 mnin, and then you would be right out that door.

Now, this plan really was effectual, just not on you!

A sleepy mess, when you wake up you wisely decide to ignore the cute Miffy alarm that was neatly placed on your shelf by pushing it on the ground, muttering a quick and sleepy "fuck off" at the poor bunny shaped object, pathetically groaning when your hand makes contact with the object.

What a lovely start!

Without even knowing, this had just ruined your whole schedule, but you somehow managed to leave your dorm room only 20 minutes late, leaving you still enough time to grab a coffee and walk a bit around campus.

Your mind was teeming with anxious thoughts, all deriving from the fact that you knew absolutely nobody here, and you weren't exactly the most social person around either.

A nervous shiver runs down your spine, jolting you out of your thoughts, as you feel the chilly September around envelope you the second you step out of your building.

You were wearing baggy black jeans that you had recently thrifted, a tight fitting but still very soft and stretchy light grey and light pink tanktop; to elevate your outfit, you had a studded belt you had bought long time ago from Hot Topic, and your copious jewellery around your wrists and neck.

You didn't wanna seem basic, but you didn't want to scare people away by having them think your style was weird or even too strong; who knows how people here think and perceive others?

-1 hour later-

6000 steps around campus later, you're standing infront of your class, photography and camera work.

You had picked this course as your main one without thinking twice; you had always had a connection with photography, you felt as if filming and capturing images and colors was one of the best way to express yourself.

You could tell stories through colors, textures and capture small moments, feelings sigilled in a single frame picture, to be remembered forever.

You take a deep breath, fixing your black braided hair again, for the thousandth time, and finally take a step inside the dimly lit class.

Hey guys!

This is the first chapter, leaving y'all on a cliffhanger, hehe.

Tell me if you liked this, or if you wanna be added to a taglist. I'm a new writer here on Tumblr, so this is not the best yet, but I'm learning!

Luv y'all