#but not in a way of like go away dont look this is a vent

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Ah fuck now im thinking abt how fuckin lonely it is 2 be transmasc. Bc suddenly all my girl friends see me as Something Else and a fucking Threat even tho im literally the same fucking person only happier. And like how. When i wanted to explore femininity as a girl, my friends loved to show me everything and do my makeup and whatever and like now theyre like. Are you sure ?? Dont you think that will make you uncomfortable LIKE UR THE ONE MAKING IT UNCOMFORTABLE !!!! IM THE SAME IM THE SAME IM THE SAME AS I WAS BEFORE I JUST GOT A NEW HAT AND NOW U ALL HATE ME !!!! and its not like i have boys to go to either because if anything, im now friends with LESS guys than i was before transitioning. Because before i was just a girl and like yea there were a ton of sexist guys who didnt really see me as their equal, but they saw me atleast as a Person. But now its like. Im not one of the girls they can tolerate, im claiming to be one of the boys ??? But it doesn't fucking fit for them because like. Im still at the equality level of a girl but even LESS now. Why cant i just be a Normal girl or a Normal guy. Why do i have to be a guy that also looks and acts like a girl according to the rules in their head ??? LIKE ITS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. I DONT WANT TO BE ONE OD THE GIRLS I DONT WANNA BE ONE OF THE BOYS I WANNA BE ONE OF THEM !!! JUST FUCKING ANYONE !!! BUT NOBODY SEES ME AS ON THEIR SIDE BC GIRLS WHO TRY SOOO HARD 2 BE "TRANS INCLUSIVE" ALSO CANT LET GO OF THEIR IDEAS OF "MAN = DANGEROUS AND BAD AND OTHER" SO HOW DO THEY BE INCLUSIVE OF ME ???? BY TREATING ME LIKE FUCKING SCUM !!!!! SO I CANT BE ONE OF THE GIRLS ANYMORE BECAUSE IM "DANGEROUS". BUT IM SURE AS HELL NOT PART OF THE BOYS BECAUSE IM FUCKING OPPOSITE PINOCCHIO AND NOT A REAL GODDAM BOY EVEN THO HES WOOD AND IM FUCKING FLESH AND BONE MOTHERFUCKER !!!!! AND NOW THERES SOME SECRET CODE TO BOTH SIDES I CANT SEEM TO FIGURE OUT AND IT DOESNT FUCKING HELP THAT IM AUTISTIC TOO DOES IT ????? SO LIKE. ALL I HAVE ARE OTHER TRANS PEOPLE BECAUSE EVEN MY CIS FRIENDS JUST DONT SEE ME AS EQUAL. THEY TRY SOOOOO HARD TO FIT ME IN ANY OF THEIR BOXES TO THE POINT I HAVE TO JUST TRY SOOO HARD TO ACT LIKE IM A FULLY BINARY GUY JUST SO THEY CAN STOP SEEING ME AS A FULLY BINARY GIRL. BUT IM NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS MOTHERFUCKER BUT I CAN BARELT EVEN TELL MY TRANS FRIENDS THAT BECAUSE THEYVE FUCKING INVENTED ANOTHER BOX WHERE THEY ASSUME NONBINSRY MEANS A THIRD FUCKING GENDER AND IT DOESNT !!!! WHEN I EXPLAIN MY GENDER IT DOESNR MEAN I NEED YOU TO SAY "soooooo youre genderfluid" NO IM ME IM ME IM FUCKING ME DONT YOU FUCKUNG GET IT IM DRESSING UP IN FUN CLOTHES BUT YOURE 5 AGAIN AND SAYING IM A GIRL FOR WEARING PINK AND A BOY FOR WEARING BLUE !!!!! IM WEARING A FUCKING PINK SHIRT AND BLUE SHOES WHAT DO YOU WANT MOTHERFUCKER IM EVEYTHING IM NOTHING IM JUST FUCKING ME !!!!

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-

[tapewormsoda]

breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh

[frankenruth]

Who up feeling like an outcast and a pathetic worm

[moonlit-orchid]

Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post

Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight

[strifethedestroyer]

ok so hi cat update

1. pisana turned out to be a guy so due to the grammer rules of the bulgarian language he is now just pisan. you might see me referring to him as pisanin as well, again due to bulgarian being that way.

2. he has no snot or anything anymore which is great (he used to have some sort of infection)! his eyes used to be kinda fucked, they're fine now!! he was super skinny but now he's nice and fat and chubby, which would be great if..

3. the fat and chubbiness was from food. it is not from food. his entire stomach and bowels are covered/full of some sort of liquid. fuck, we thought he was just fattening up..

4. he has some sort of different illness. i usually go to the vets along with my family, but i couldn't today so they told me that the vet said that it might be FIP, which is 100% fatal.

we're praying it isnt FIP. thats all.

[bl00dw1tch]

Got my end of the month burst of motivation to get my shit together and did 10 push ups

[tears-exe]

I can slice my wrists in the store, is that mentally ill enough for me to go home?

Cause at this point that's where you're pushing me.

[dipyronegirl]

god i wanna start over so bad, i fucked up and ruined university just like high school, and high school was SHIT after what i did, everyone stared at me in the hallways and everything was horrible for years, i don’t wanna go through it again with the time i have left in uni, i wanna go someplace else where nobody knows my face and start fresh with a clean reputation — that i know i’ll ruin in a couple of years but by then i’ll be graduating so i can just start over again in residency

[qumiiiquinnquin]

a lot of things i see on the net make me feel like im supposed to be something im not, like i havent suffered enough, like i am too ugly to deserve showing my face to people, like im bad at almost everything i do even the most mundane tasks, like im a generally uncomfortable person to be around. while simultaneously making me feel "good" and "seen."

[the-bearer-of-bad-ideas]

i dont know why my mom keeps deciding to forcibly "clean" my room while im at school when she knows full well that every time shes done that i cried for over an hour afterwards

[supernova2510]

idk how some people openly talk about their problems to others, like i always hide them, i wanna tell them but i wont. i let people see the better side of me, not that side

[liinos]

Sometimes I go a little crazy bc I just think I'm doomed to end up alone 🤪

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

Lucky Girl Syndrome!! / theodore nott x fem reader

playlist : lucky girl syndrome - illit

summary : y/n has always been just a lucky person , in her acedemics , looks , friends , family and even in her general day to day. however she wasnt so fortunate when it came to her love life...but maybe it wasnt luck chasing love away , but instead someone close to her?

y/n , slytherin reader , fluff , swearing , arguing , jealous theo, anrgy theo and reader

a/n - as an extremely unlucky person- this fic gave me inner peace LMAOO

thats that me espresso! (another theo fic)

you walked happily though the halls , narrowly missing a prank set up by the weasley twins as their failed trick of a water bucket soaked them and left you completely dry. how lucky!

"i swear there is something wrong with that girl like she has some kind of force feild!" george sighed in frustration , their 3rd prank of the week failing to actually get you.

"God has favourites georgie, he has favourites ," fred patted georges back as they both sulked away to dry their now drenched clothes.

of course you were olbivous to the whole thing! your stroll down the hallway continued , the sun hitting your face in just the right way as you reached the great hall , practically skipping to the slytherin table.

"hi guys!" you exclaimed excited as you sat down at just the right time to ignore the apple that had just come flying at your head.

hearing the apple crash to the ground you turned again , confused seeing the apple roll around on the ground.

"shit , sorry y/n i was aiming for harry but he dodged!" ron shouted apologetically across the room.

"dont worry r-" you started until you were interuppted by your best friend theo besides you, who held a cold glare at ron.

"do that again and it wont be an apple flying at your head weasley!" theodore shouted at him as ron awkwardly looked away.

"dont theo , it was an accident," you said putting a hand on his arm as he immediatly softened.

"youre too kind y/n you shouldve been in hufflepuff," pansy said with a sigh.

"green suits me more," you smiled at pansy as she giggled ,"besides i can be quite mean when i want to be."

"youre not wrong about that , you nearly broke my ribs with that bludger in quidditch!" draco complained , still not letting go of a quidditch incident from 2nd year.

"draco i really wish you would get over that , it was my first match i was nervous and thought you were on the other team," you sighed starting to eat your food.

draco grumbled in response until the whole table turned around to look at something behind you, in confusion you turned too and saw a ravenclaw boy in your year.

"hi y/n i was just wondering if maybe you would-" the boy , named david, started to speak until catching his eye on something besides you. waiting for him to carry on he instead shuddered with fear and backed away instantly , practically running back to the ravenclaw table.

"david!" you tried to call after him , but instead he walked faster , sitting himself down and avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"the fuck? what...what did i do?" you asked your friends frantically , knowing that he intended to ask you out before he suddenly stopped.

"you didnt do anything sweet y/n ," matheo started before shifting his eyes to theodore next to you, "maybe a greater force got in the way?"

confused by his choice of words you looked back at david , a look he didnt return. in frustration you held your head in your hands and groaned , "im so unlucky!"

"i wouldnt say that," blaise scoffed as the whole friendgroup nodded , knowing luck was not your lack.

"no i mean unlucky in love! david was clearly going to ask me out but just like the gryffindor from last week he couldnt even finish his scentence and ran!" you sighed , venting your anger to your friends.

"yeah well you can do much better," theodore remarked in a cold tone , his eyes still peircing where a shaking david sat. as you watched theodore stare and david cower , everything seemed to click into place.

"theodore!" you snapped at him , making him finally turn and look at you , "yknow sometimes i think that you drive them away!"

"you think!" lorenzo scoffed as pansy smacked him on the arm , quickly shutting him up.

"i havent done anything, its not my fault he ran off , what could i have done?!" theodore argued back as the rest of your friend group watched him in disbelief , knowing he drove david , the guy from gryffindor and every guy ever, away.

you scoffed ,"oh really so you didnt death stare him? he clearly looked at you before running!"

"wow i didnt know you would get so touchy about david the ravenclaw!" he said in a mocking tone as you both seethed with anger.

"read the room theodore for fucks sake! maybe i do want to go on a date , maybe i wouldve said yes! i didnt notice at first , how every guy just bolted as soon as he looked at some mysterious thing next to me , now i realise it was you probably doing a cut throat gesture!" , you ranted at theodore as draco tried to hold in his laugh.

"maybe he had an epiphany about you or something!" theodore tried to argue back , all of you knowing he couldnt really deny anything you said , it was all true.

"what- you think its me driving them away? stay out of my love life theo its none of your fucking business!" you harshly shouted your final remark before getting up from the table and stomping out of the great hall.

"there goes that mean streak i was just talking about," draco mutters , shaking his head and continuing to eat his food.

the table sat in silence for a few second before mattheo spoke up again, "you kinda deserved that."

"fuck off!" theodore snapped as he jumped up and strode after you , and out the great hall.

----

walking into your dormroom you threw your robe off of you and loosened your tie , trying to lose some of the heat from your argument.

pacing the room your thoughts were interrupted as the door burst open , theodore walking in and standing in front of you , keeping a fair distance as you stared back at him.

"what do you want now theo!! do you want to control my friendships? maybe throw a glare and a threat at enzo and draco and maybe they'll stop talking to me aswell!" you shouted at him loudly now, as venom dripped from your words.

he stepped towards you quickly , as you tried to back away- he grabbed the sides of your face delicatly.

"i want you," he said , his voice just above a whisper as your heart burst into flames , the heat dispersing itself across your cheeks.

"d-.. theo dont say thing you dont- that you know you dont mean," you said avoiding his gaze , shaking your head as your voice had dropped to an insecure mumble.

"y/n i have only ever wanted you , i glare and i threaten and i hate the boys that ask you out because i want you. i need you." he said softly , pulling your face closer to his , forcing you to hold eye contact.

"theo i-" you started as he cut you off quickly.

"please if youre going to reject me just know....know that ill tell david to ask you out , ill never do anything to intercept love for you again. i promise , just please... let me down easy.." he spoke quietly , insecurity and sadness seeping though his words.

this time it was you that softly garbbed his face and lifted his eyes to meet yours , "theo...maybe i didnt realise it until now but...i have always liked you."

his sadness faded as he looked at you with shock , his silence allowing you to continue in a lighthearted way, "maybe ive glared at a few girls too , unknowingly of course!"

you both laughed at this as he looked at you like you painted the stars into the pitch black sky , "im sorry for pushing those guys away...well not really but more like im sorry that you got sad about it"

you laughed again before allowing yourself to get lost in his eyes , the green like that of a four leaf clover- rare yet so beautiful , "maybe im not so unlucky in love afterall , it was right there in front of me the whole time."

he smiled at you with adoration before pulling you into a sweet , loving kiss. fortune was on your side today , as it brought you your luckiest pull yet , theodore nott.