#but sometimes I just intrigue myself so much in some things that I indulge in that spring to mind

[myinterestsvary-writes]

Finished English Class this semester but am going to read this just because. I’m sorry that the book is tattered. There’s a lot of old, poorly maintained books in my house that only recently got out of boxes and were shelved.

[the--rebel--fae]

ME ME FIRST IM FIRST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ALASTOR X FEM READER WHO LIKE A HOUSEWIFE IN THE HOTEL AND TAKES CARE OF NIFTTY AND CHARLE AS IF THEY WERE HER AND ALASTOR CHILDREN

A/N: You my friend, caught my attention first because of such an adorable response. So ask and ye shall receive! Here's hoping I do Alastor justice.

(This is an adorable request btw)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem! Reader

Tw: None! Just pure fluff!

Word count: 745

The Hazbin Bunch

Ever since you came to the Habin Hotel, it felt like everyone was a little family. You were an older demon, having died back in the forties. So you have been in hell for quite some time. 

When you first saw the TV commercial you wanted to see what it was all about. Especially since you heard that your old friend Alastor was involved. You haven’t seen him in years. Seven to be exact. And to know that he was back sent butterflies in your stomach. You never told him, but you always harbored feelings for the eccentric radio host. You never had the guts to tell him though since you feared messing up your friendship.

Little did you know, he had feelings for you as well. Alastor was already intrigued with you when you first met. Just the way you carried yourself and treated others. It was also a plus that you hated that infernal TV just as he did. Plus, you were a great conversationalist and probably the only one who could keep up with him when you had the time to dance.

Soon enough, Charlie, Vaggie, Husk, Angel Dust, Nifty, and even Sir Pentious became family to you. Almost as if they were your children. 

“Nifty my dear, if you truly want to kill those little bugs I suggest you swing your knife in a diagonal direction instead of a perpendicular. That way, they have less of a chance to escape.” You told the little red-headed cyclops girl as she chased around a few stray roaches.

Nifty paused briefly and looked up at you from your seat at the bar. “Ooh! That’s a great idea! Less chance for them to escape hehe.” She giggled creepily and then started back on her roach hunt. 

You shook your head and smiled fondly at the girl. Then turning back to Husk you regarded him with a warm smile. “Well, since I’m here I mine as well indulge in a small drink. What do you have in mind for me today Husk? I do so love the different drinks you concoct. If you worked at a bar back in my days on Earth, you’d be regarded as an artist.”

Husk chuckled as he started up your drink. “Weren’t you alive durin’ prohibition times though?”

You just waved your hand nonchalantly. “Ah, semantics. Besides, you know what they say. Nothing fun ever comes from following the rules.”

“How right you are Cher! Why if people followed the rules, things would be so terribly boring.” Alastor said as he popped out from seemingly nowhere.

Husk handed you your drink and you smiled as you took a sip. “Oh, hello Al. How was the radio show today?”

Alastor’s eyes lit up and his smile shone brightly. Most people would find it off-putting but you personally loved it. “It went splendidly, my dear! Thank you for asking.”

You were about to say something more, but then Charlie came down the main stairs drawing your attention. “Charlie, my dear! How are you, sweetie? Do you feel any better since the latest meeting with that infernal angel? Ad-what’s his name? The first man, I guess?”

Charlie met your gaze and smiled. “I’m doing a little bit better (y/n), thanks. But you don’t have to worry so much. That meeting was a month ago!’

You just chuckle. “That may be so, but I can tell how stressed you’ve been hun.”

Angel Dust clicks his tongue as he takes a seat beside you. “You know toots, sometimes it seems like you're the mom of this place with how ya act.” He then glanced at Alastor who unbeknownst to you was gazing fondly at you. “An if you're the mother of this joint, that’d make ol smiles here the dad.”

“Haha! You know, that doesn’t sound too bad Ma Cherie. I’d consider myself lucky to be assumed to be your husband.” Alastor said as he put a hand on your shoulder.

Instead of commenting, you could only blush furiously. Feeling the heat crawl all the way up to your ears, you tried your best to compose yourself and hide your growing smile behind your glass. Almost hoping that Alastor didn’t catch how much his comment made your long-dead heart soar. But he was no fool, he could see that beautiful smile of yours even as you tried to hide it behind the crystalline glass. 

Perhaps you truly were like a little family after all. 

Hope you enjoyed the story my friend! I gotta say, this was an adorable request. I had a lot of fun with it!

And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several page long one shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!

[kociamieta]

do you have any character design tips. i’ve always loved character designs but lately i’ve felt like they’ve been lacking interest and life. what are your processes for designing a a character? they always look so lovely and get me intrigued into their story by design alone! love your work so much <33

ahh i wish i had some sort of clear, empirical answer for this!!! i think a big part of it is building up your visual library and finding the things you enjoy drawing (or just seeing in characters).

the closest thing to a process i could think of for myself would be finding something to base the character on - a phrase describing them, or some traits i'd like them to have, or an object/symbol/anything to incorporate in the design.

it's basically a game of association to me. i want someone who's x or y, what could that look like? what would happen if i combined these two together, and so on.

i find that i have the most fun (and enjoy the results the most) when i just let myself be self indulgent, haha. pick a couple of things i enjoy and play with them without overthinking. the angels and star people etc are pretty much just that:

having characters in the same setting allows for some pretty interesting things, too. you have a set of rules to mess around with, other characters to contrast (or not) with another [i think this is why creating fan characters is fun - the rules of a world are already set, now you get to experiment!!].

so, for the example above - all the star people are overdressed, but i wanted to try out something more laid back than a gown or ornate armor. this person still has the same elements the previous two do, just in a different configuration

of course, it's good to draw things outside of your comfort zone, but sometimes focusing on what's fun to you can be a nice source of inspiration. the familiarity makes the whole process easier, and who knows, you might get something new out of it

[orkbutch]

i am a butch now but i don’t know whether that’s true or not anymore. i want to take T, but at what point am i actually just a trans man? have you question that line in the sand at all yet?

Oh boy.

I can only talk from my perspective on this, others may differ, and thats because "whats the difference between a butch on T and a trans man" is such a new sociological concept that its basically in the very beginnings of its infancy. its SO new, and neither Butch nor Trans Man nor Trans Masc have secure, well established roots as social identities or concepts. It may seem like they do and it may seem like there are rules or lines that are firm, but when you step back, zoom out, and consider them in the context of broader society (and especially compared to the idea of a Man and Woman), they do not. These are social contructs that are actually very early in their construction, and we are doing the constructing like, right now, within this ask.

That said, I can tell you why I don't identify as a trans man fairly easily: I don't care about men or the idea of a man. "Man" as a static concept is like... I don't know what that is. Its almost alien to me.

Now, to ramble that point out:

I have considered if I'm a man throughout my life. The closest I've been to identifying as a man was when I was in a period in my life when I considered that there was at least an aspect of me that was drawn to Manhood. Also, as I came to be read as a man in my public life, i supposed that in social situations when I was being treated as a man and I didn't correct people because I didn't care to, and I even enjoyed it somewhat and leaned into that role, I was essentially Being a Man (socially). So Man came to be a role I found myself in occasionally, and Manhood came to be a vaguely defined something that was intriguing to me.

But these moments of Man Feeling ended up being more like exceptions that proved the rule. Anyone can feel a bit like a man in the right circumstance, because gender isn't static; its something we can and often do play with, and phase through. I feel like music puts me in some heavily gendered spaces, like Everyone has a part of them thats a woman when they're belting along to "I'm Every Woman", yknow. Anyway.

I didn't feel like a man that much. I didn't feel like a woman that much either. I felt like a butch more frequently, because when I do things that indulged my masculinity, when I'm consumed by my love and attraction to femininity, when I think about the queers that I admire most, I felt butch, and was drawn to butches and interesting queer women. Leslie Feinberg, Frida Kahlo, Nancy Grossman, Patricia Highsmith, leather dykes and femme pro-doms, transgender queens... I've just never been that drawn to the experience of being a man. I've never been interested in men, frankly. Every man I've admired has been very much despite being men. Sufjan Stevens, Clive Barker, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, John Waters... great and usually queer artists whose gender is irrelevant because I like their work. The only man in that list who I have some personal affection for is Sufjan Stevens. He is an angel.

If I'm going to be a gender, its going to be the gender I admire. That I aspire to. I don't aspire to any man. Perhaps I aspire to a kind of body or a kind of masculinity, and sometimes men do that, but thats just a lack of other non-man representations of the thing I like. When I see in butches, it feels like a depiction of Me. Also WOW do I So Not feel like a man when I'm with my lovers. Sometimes I feel a bit like a man when I'm in a certain headspace while domming or if I'm having the rare T4T(masc) dalliance, but I feel very dyky when I'm with femmes. I just don't FEEL manhood. And I don't really care for man. Edit: I will say, there is a kind of Queer Man Masculinity that I definitely admire and aspire to, like that depicted by Tom of Finland or various other usually kinky gay art. But again, I don't see the Man part as important - its the masculinity. Btw, imo, there is no line in the sand as far as transition stuff. I'm very dysphoric about my body and that's never been about how I'm seen by others; it's my comfort in my own skin, and doesn't change my indifference to men or manhood. and that is my butch vs trans man ramble

[sitp-recs]

I wanted to ask a question... idk if you're straight, bi.... but I consider myself a lesbian and since I read HP books in the pandemic I became obsessed with them, then wolfstar then drarry. I love pansmione, ginsy and linny as well but they didnt hit the same (besides some specific fics) like drarry to me bc I love draco's background story so much. I love how they complete each other (two sides of the same coin / being used as pawns / relatable traumas etc). anyway I was thinking what do you think about lesbians reading mlm/gay men fiction? specially if some of them are explicit. I love them and fic got me through the pandemic as well but I feel guilty :( I read other types of books too (a lot of sapphic ones) but yeah I always come back to drarry. help.

Hi anon! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling this way about preferring mlm over femslash. You are not the first person I see mentioning this and I think your experience is 100% valid and probably more common than you imagine. Following that logic, I should only read stories featuring bisexual women but you see, I’m not always interested in fics reflecting my own reality and issues. Most of the time I’m not even in the mood to read wlw or straight sex, no matter (or maybe exactly because of) how familiar it feels. I read it occasionally, but I normally use fic as an outlet to escape and read the stories that interest and intrigue me the most, and sometimes they couldn’t be farther away from my own experiences.

Be it because of the writing itself, or because I care more about Harry and Draco than I’ve ever cared about Ginny and Luna, Drarry just attracts me more than Linny. Hell, Ron/Ginny attracts me more than Linny. There’s no rationale behind what I ship, no objective way of knowing what will hit the right note for me, and so I gave up on tying to rationalize it a long time ago. Additionally, as a queer person I noticed that I often feel attracted to queerness in general, so I think it makes a lot of sense to connect to a gay character or mlm story even if you’re a woman (and vice-versa).

We all get different things out of fandom/fic and your reasons for enjoying this and not that work are entirely your own. I believe that our fandom experience should be all about self-indulgence and prioritizing joy and healing over anything else so from my perspective, I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty/ashamed of. That’s my two cents on it, just keep reading what you love and what brings you joy! ❤️

[d-c-k-y]

Prohibitedwish Cottagecore au

Because I'm self-indulgent like that XP

I just want my bois to be happy and carefree

Headcanon time!!!

Prismo

Scarab's neighbour

has been living in the outskirt his whole life and never went anywhere before

is curious about the outside world

his inherited his garden from his deceased friend Jake

his hat is gifted by Jake, he wears it all the time

after knowing some of Scarabs favourite fruits and veggies, he starts planting them and gifting them to him

it's rare but he sometimes gift Scarab bouquets after they are a thing

he's definitely a flower meaning guy

it took a long time for him to try planting on his friend's garden

teaches Scarab one or two things about gardening since he studies it

enjoys tea time with Scarab

secretly draws/paints

lot's of sketches and painting of Scarab in his garage

the first to confess (drunken confession)

likes to exchange books with Scarab, is intrigue of Scarab's taste in genres

adores Scarab's cooking and baking

keeps all of the sticky notes by Scarab

sunshine energy

Scarab

Prismo's neighbour

starts living outskirt for his botanic/herbology studies

likes the serenity here

has strict parents

grew up to be academic-minded because of parents

parents weren't too keen on his choice of studies so like every Asian child he has to whip up a powerpoint slideshow for them

grew up watching botanic channels, his favourite one is apparently starred by Prismo's grandpa

teaches Prismo new or better ways to tend his garden

puts sticky notes for Prismo after finding out he can't remember shit

is embarassed of receiving gifts from Prismo because he doesn't know what to gift back

Prismo's drinking buddy

helps Prismo with his garden when free

because of his upbringing of not showing vulnerability, he tends to be quite tsun and hides his true feelings xshksxh

resting bitch face

likes to talk to Prismo about different teas every tea time with him

secretly crochets

has one or two crocheted Prismo plushies

first to initiate kiss

That's about it, they probably go on foraging trips and picnics together, I just really like the idea but don't see it much for them so I gotta take actions by my own and make it myself

I would really really appreciate it if anyone wanna write fanfic about them please please please I can't do them justice aaaaaa-

[youremyheaven]

Omg rahu-ketu post😳

I was actually discussing my struggles around having prominent swati in my chart and staying grounded in my own reality on a forum fairly recently.

I have a very rich inner world which I essentially live in most of the time, and sometimes I feel like I miss out of my own life because I’m so detached. Limerence is also a big struggle for me, I find it much easier to centre myself in the energy of someone else than to be responsible for my own reality, which I guess comes from the things you talked about like rahu being a shadow planet and the mythology of rahu and obsession.

I also spend a large amount of time on social media and playing games 😶‍🌫️ I’ve tried to make uses of the positives by channeling my imagination into something tangible like art, but I have a hard time actually putting in the work to develop skills since I’m so distracted all the time. I think I’ve spent too much time in my head and now I’ve forgotten how to be in my body lol (my ADHD isn’t helping either💀)

Swati I think is especially a difficult nak because the libra/venus influence is only enabling rahu’s indulgence, unlike saturn or to a lesser extent mercury.

Aside from my personal whinings- the thing you said about occult/astro kind of intrigued me. All of my close family (incl. grandparents, uncles, etc) have atleast one rahu or ketu nak in their big 3, usually being ardra, mula or swati.

My mother’s side has lots of psychics and we have a dream interpretation system that gets passed down the family, whilst my father’s side has many tarot readers. My dad himself is an occultist who is interested in Thelema, astral projection, etc. There’s some interest in astrology on both sides but not particularly in depth and my parents usually end asking me about the transits. Oh yeah and I guess I had that one psychic dream last November that came true the morning after.

In general, my family has a history of very eccentric characters who occasionally got exiled or imprisoned or some crazy shit 😭 I feel like that’s just average Eastern European family lore though. Do you think such isolation is nodal? I think it is but there might be other planetary influence.

That’s enough yapping for today though. Interested to see your post on the positives❤️

Your observation about Swati is spot on

I do think Nodal influence+ well placed/strong Rahu & Ketu are necessary for learning and immersing yourself in the occult. Someone who cannot channel it well will remain ignorant of it no matter how much they read or study it. In some ways the Nodes can be understood as layers of the subconscious and the unconscious. The nodes represent karma (Ketu does) and our unconscious mind is our accumulated karma, if we remain ignorant of it, we will let it guide all our actions and lead us to self destruction. Therefore to have strong/well placed Nodes means you're aware of the different layers of your mind as a result of which you can understand the different layers of reality. Nodal influence creates a fog/veil that cannot be lifted until we gain true gnosis. This is why Nodal people get lost in addictive substances/pass times/people/ interests because their own reality feels foggy/veiled to them so they can only access it from other things. Obviously this is another form of Maya or illusion and that's why even these natives struggle with it. You hate the thing even as you indulge in it because on some level you realise that you're losing yourself to it.

Immersing yourself in the occult requires a certain discipline and consistency that can be hard for Nodal natives (malefic influenced, badly placed etc) to master unless it's well aspected but those who do master it are able to perceive reality and understand the esoteric realm in a truly sublime way. It's rare and magnetic.

I do think Nodal influence can contribute to being exiled/imprisoned/being isolated. There is a reason why 5/6 Nodal nakshatras all belong to the Shudra caste which is the lowest. These natives live lives that are "unusual" or different from the norm. They are "detached" because their life experiences already set them apart from others. They don't belong to the mainstream because they've been put in circumstances where they've been deprived of what is "normal".

Like I said in my post, what is "unusual" can vary a lot and can mean sooo many different things. Majority of the "child star gone wild" type celebrities have heavy Nodal influence. Why? because it's "unusual" for a child to be working or attaining fame and wealth or for their family to use them for the same. When you're deprived of anything ordinary or real, you depend on substances/unhealthy relationships/habits etc to feel centred. This is why after a point these stars "go rogue or wild". They amass a lot of wealth/fame but ultimately they're unable to benefit from it or enjoy it. This is also unusual as these are things typically understood as blessings. Being in a position where you can't connect to or relate to others is a very Nodal experience. That's why a lot of people with these placements are so introverted and withdrawn. If you're a famous child actor, you can't quite go to school and connect to the experiences of other people your age so you feel "isolated". Being imprisoned/exiled is another such experience. It permanently alters you and you don't know how to connect to others who haven't been through it.

I do think isolation is a big theme in the lives of Nodal people. It can be literal or emotional. But it's also obviously influenced by the rest of the chart. Heavy 12h placements also make a native experience the same themes to some extent.

[aibouart]

I hope this isn't a weird ask to send but:

I related really heavily to your post about what vent art has done for your psyche. Less specifically with vent art and more a vent blog where I privated the whole thing and would make unrebloggable vent posts (unrebloggable just in case if anything broke and slipped out of confinement)

I've had two of those kinds of blogs. Both ended up just being a negative confirmation bias zone for me to spiral out of control just if I looked at a post.

I'd see the timestamps and remember what made me make those posts and it'd make me lose myself all over again.

The second time I made the blog I told myself I wouldn't read back on the posts but 1) I cannot hold myself accountable to not do that so I did it and 2) the frequency of the vents ended up just achieving the same end result

Vent art for me is so much more work that it's rare, and I usually do end up very pleased with the end result and art typically helps more bc I can't just make art as quickly as I can make text posts. There's still some vent art that hurts like hell to look back on ofc but I understand that feeling of like...this art coming from someplace real.

I think learning to realize that drawing stuff without meaning can hold a meaning of its own (sharing joy, whimsy, etc etc with the world to remind ppl it's not all bad, or give them a safe place to indulge in something bright and colorful instead of the horrors of whatever reality they've currently got) can help ease into accepting the non-vent art as just as important and meaningful

It's tricky, but all of us who suffer more from our own vent posts/vent art can heal and move forward and find meaning in other expressions of other feelings.

Vent stuff can be such a powerful tool, so I'm glad you're learning how to be more careful with it. I wish you nothing but upward momentum from here!

thank you for the message, it does mean a lot to me to find others who went through something as similar that i did--even though it fuckin SUUUCKS

for me, ig my speedy art backfires with vent art. i have done pieces that i took (more) time with:

but for the most part it looked like this:

and they'd get posted within like 10 mins of each other (sometimes less)

i definitely think art doesn't need meaning to exist, but you spend so long hearing "what do you think the meaning behind this is" or making art like i had been doing that DID hold some meaning and i started to just feel like my own work was exempt.

it's hard to move past vent art and accept my work as worthy of existing even if it's just some pink furry staring at the camera doing nothing, instead of my sona ripping itself apart because of some deeper meaning. cuz like i do like my vent art, i think the limited colours i would use is cool and the compositions or expressions are intriguing, but getting into the headspace to draw all that just isn't worth the price anymore. but it sort of makes my current art feel shallow or empty.... like im not "trying", for sure.

and granted majority of people on this blog haven't even seen my vent art either it's not like anyone else's perception is skewed. it's just like a personal issue i've had as i recover from vent art/blogs WUURGG

but despite all that i draw what i want anyways, nothing can really stop me from doing that. i just kind of ruminate the whole time JKBSDBFBSD

thank you again for reaching out, i forgot i made the post when i woke up this morning and immediately panicked but nothing bad happened so i am feeling ok about sharing..!!

[thecurioustale]

(Re)introducing the Author

I have two main series: a fantasy series called The Curious Tale and a sci-fi series called Galaxy Federal.

For those who are newer here, or wouldn't mind a refresher, here's a little about me and the kind of stories I write:

My name is Josh, pronouns they/he. (I am agender but I don't get upset if you gender me masculine; I do it myself sometimes out of force of habit.) I am 41 years old and live in Washington State not far from Seattle, in the beautiful but troubled United States. I am left-handed, hence my proudest epithet, The Sinistral, and I have been a writer for basically my entire life—even as a kid!

I published my first and so far only novel in 2015, Prelude to After The Hero, which you can currently buy as an e-book or read for free in HTML. Additionally, I have published countless worldbuilding articles and meta-discussions of my fiction over the years (see my previous post about Curious Tale Saturdays), and countless nonfiction essays and personal musings on my personal journal, which in more recent years I have updated much less frequently (but am still active on).

As an author I mostly write stories about "power" and "beauty." I'll have more to say about my specific stories over the next couple days when I do corresponding (re)introduction posts for The Curious Tale and Galaxy Federal, but the bottom line is that I am very interested in human potential, both at the individual and collective levels, and in the beauty of being alive and experiencing "the world," i.e. our material reality and our own headspaces within it. Other topics that interest me and frequently show up in my writing include justice, creation (both the acts and products of creating), civilization, Illumination (what many would call wisdom or "enlightenment"), ambition and desire, animism, and the poignance of the fleeting nature of all things.

I am fascinated by liminality and subliminality; boundaries; vast indoor spaces; megastructures; mysteriousness; "the magical"; surrealism; absurdism; nostalgia; pathos; journeys that do not involve backtracking; and other such things as generally might describe a vast world with hazy horizons lit in twilight. I also strive in my writing (less successfully, I fear) to convey a sense of mystery and wonder.

At the same time, I am also fascinated by human emotionality and subjective experience; personal relationships; the human condition and the human psyche; and narrative life arcs. Some who know me through my nonfiction or by talking to me in person have been surprised to see how passionate and emotional my fiction is.

My writing style tends to be long-winded and self-indulgent; deliberate and precise; esoteric and bespoke. I usually set a slow pace, and seldom indeed will I resort to cheap action or thrills. Most of my fiction is either long-form play-by-play scenes in high resolution, or Tolkienian epic narration far removed from the ground level.

With certain exceptions for key locations, I usually don't reuse a given location in a story; the locations are usually new from scene to scene, and thus there is a lot of environmental description throughout the whole length of my works and not just at the beginning. This creates a certain quality, where everything is always new, that I find engrossing.

In terms of the three most popular conventions, political intrigue, violence, and sex and romance: My writing mostly rejects the treacherous political intrigue genre conventions that are so prevalent in sci-fi and fantasy today, even though "politics" is definitely an integral part of my writing (and I am not shy about sharing my opinions, though I try to do so through specific characters rather than on narratorial authority). When it comes to violence, there is a lot of death and killing and suffering in my work, but I am not a big fan of writing extremely graphic violence and torture, mainly because I don't have the heart to dwell on it in great detail most of the time. (It's very draining for me.) And on the sex side of things, I eschew tacked-on romantic subplots and in general I would say that there's too much damned snogging in our contemporary storytelling, but I definitely do explore and depict matters of love and sex in my work in my own way—though not at a very high frequency, and, I would like to hope, never gratuitously. (Unless the gratuitousness is a tongue-in-cheek joke that we're all in on—which can be said of many other aspects of my writing as well.) I never write explicit, graphic sex scenes, although I do sometimes write sex scenes.

Which reminds me: My stories tend to have a lot of "competency porn" in them; my characters are usually intelligent, thoughtful, and logical. Ignorance and luck are not big plot story drivers for me, generally.

My favored characters tend to be some combination of fat, left-handed, and female; and, of them, my central protagonists additionally tend to be extremely powerful, demigodlike individuals who are able to operate within their respective domains virtually without limitation. In critical respects my characters are only vaguely-defined; I usually avoid character archetype trope reinforcement, so my characters are ideally as internally diverse as real-world humans are...which means you can't actually know them right away. And that opens the door for you to project your own personality ideas onto them. Which...I suppose is a feature?

I have a cinematic mind, and I think my stories are best appreciated with a strong visual imagination. I try not to smother readers with too many unnecessary details, though I confess I am only partially successful at this and often find myself hanging on every word of my lengthy environmental descriptions. I think some of my most satisfied readers are those who enjoy digesting these elaborate visuals as a reward unto itself.

I am a big believer in the idea that obvious story setups should have payoffs, that narrative arcs should eventually be resolved, and that plots and subplots should be be highly interconnected. I am chiefly theme-driven in my writing, as opposed to character-driven or plot-driven, and oftentimes the central purpose of a given scene will be to express one particular idea (or more than one)—either a conceptual idea, or a specific moment in the story. If you read the Prelude and remember Silence's introduction, I wrote that entire scene just to be able to describe the image of Silence in silhouette standing against the evening sky, and her powerful, predator-like movement as she turns around.

Add it all up, and my stories are definitely out of the norm for today's fashions and quite possibly for any fashion in history. They are slow and heavy and long. Their vastness belies their thrilling internal intricacies and shapes. The characters are highly realistic. The plots tend to feel emergent and organic. Or at least I think so. I am very much "writing the stories I want to see."

My stories tend to be incredibly long. Like...just know that going in. There are many sources for "tight," "fast" writing in the world. I am not one of them.

Oh, one more thing: There are various types of representation that are important to me and which I don't see the current state of sci-fi and fantasy storytelling doing a good job of delivering, so I explicitly lean into that, on top of my natural proclivity to write these kinds of characters anyway. So, if you're ever reading a scene and you find that the demographics of the people in it are noticeably unusual for contemporary American fiction, that's why.

More about me as a person: When not writing, I am a fan of sunsets, sunrises, and twilight; clouds and water; saying "Merciful McGillicuddy!" a lot while sighing loudly; solving Wordle; trying mostly in vain to gain weight; and being a curious information sponge.

[whiteraven96]

. Sunday, December 10th, 2023. K.L.C.

I enjoy the Winter season. I tend to indulge myself with warmth, food and self improvement. Things have been better as of lately, despite what I've been through. This time of year, I'm usually painting, baking treats, throwing toy balls at cats. Things have drastically changed. I'm unsure if it's a relief or not but, it feels like it. I'm going to eat everything I crave within reason and take this time to unwind. I've become so verbally quiet, so I can focus on what's going into my mouth and enjoy the heat on my skin. Nobody wants to be outside all day bundled up with unmanageable style. I'm focusing on the more important things in life. I'm not the biggest fan of minimalism but, it feels good to keep more attentative focus on everything. It doesn't feel as harsh when things might be lost. I felt so different in my choices in something as simple as groceries and said to myself, "wow, I actually know what I'm getting." "I don't feel so clouded." Maybe I shouldn't make lists all the time so I can remember more. I have to say though; I'm glad i'm not scrambling in the store with only an hour left buying strange items that do not pair well. I ate before I left. Checked my list three times and didn't even pull it out while browsing. Usually, I was running there when I was famished. It's very simple things like that i'm proud of. Likewise, our Winter season was rather harsh last year. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this year will be mild and that all of my wishes come into fruition. I'm not in much of a hurry to ask for needless or unimportant items. Sometimes, but, it's been quite the interesting year. I don't want to take steps behind myself in the future. 2023 almost fought with me like an isolated ex who wouldn't give me my space. I'm excited for 2024. New opportunities have to be rising from these parts. New location, New lifestyle. Adapting, overcoming and creation. I feel as though My logical side has been more prominent than my creative side. That inspiration will come back, hopefully. I know I could paint something fancy, or whatever. Something of my own. That's also a part of minimalism. I'm saving up for my own vehicle so I can be like the people I see sometimes enjoying their days with themselves. Running small errands. Just some peace and quiet away from some of the inconveniences one experiences walking. The heavy traffic flow; The flickering of the dirt; Water and ice. It slapped against my Calves as those fancy sports cars zipped by. I keep closing my eyes imagining a nice snowy day in the forest eating whatever I want. Perhaps even smoking a joint. Yes, the small things like that. Many of my friends would never be invited into my car, if I even had one yet. That's precious and golden I mean, almost sacred time. I'm scraping my coins; Guarding whatever I have in hopes that I find that lucky ride that never breaks down. I want to be less dependent on others hopefully by mid way next year. Not everyone wants to be your friend for free. Remember that.

Im thinking, I could find something at home for income and build from there. It's unemployment season and businesses are less likely to hire from what I've been experiencing. I wouldn't exactly say I'm a boring person explaining these things. I've learned to focus on what's real, what's there. Needs over wants for the most part. It's a relief to center hundreds of thoughts and keep attention to the few things I explained above; People things. I haven't attended to a "raging party" in years for example. I don't need to run to the club to know I exist. I don't need to run to the bar to make friends. They just try running up to me on the street anyways. Strange and inviting encounters seem to intrigue me; It happens to me more often than not. I never knew what it was like to feel "socially invited" until, I acted as basic as possible. Not an insult, but, a pleasure. I don't have to try as hard in life. I'm overjoyed! Small talk with medium length conversations that we truly enjoy instead of complaining. I still need more time to mature but, I like where my life is going. Each day is a new opportunity and an open door to a better me and a better life. -

[eldritchsurveys]

1140.

When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? >> according to my phone, the 29th of September. I was on the bus. sometimes I just randomly take selfies and then do nothing with them lol

Have you ever been scolded by a mall cop? >> haven't

How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? >> I don't catch myself daydreaming, daydreaming is an intentional practice I indulge in. it doesn't happen to me automatically

What’s your favorite thing to think about as you’re falling asleep? >> I don't think about anything, I let my mind drift so it can transition into hypnagogia if all my thoughts seem very conscious and "awake" then I know I'm not on my way to sleep

Is there anything that you want to do, but won’t because you’re too afraid? >> possibly

Who was the last person to yell at you? >> thank god it's been so long that I don't remember the last time I was yelled at

Who gets up the earliest in your household? The latest? >> depends on what day it is

Have you ever had a pet walk across your keyboard while you were typing? >> quite a few times

What political issues do you think deserve less attention/worry? >> I don't deign to think this about any political issue

Which political issues are you most passionate about? >> I am not passionate about politics

You’re going to your favorite foreign country; what landmarks do you go see?

What is the longest amount of time that you have spent away from your home?

Did the last movie you watched have any emotional effect on you? >> Mad Max mostly bored me but I was a bit intrigued by Toecutter. found out his actor is the same one who plays Immortan Joe in Fury Road and thought that was pretty neat

What motivates you to go to school?

How much caffeine have you consumed in one day? >> most likely no more than about 150mg, if that

Are you more hyper and up-tight, or laid back and relaxed? >> I have a very excitable nervous system but I don't think this makes me "hyper and uptight" -- I think this particular dichotomy is reductive as fuck

When was the last time you heard someone talking about you?

How did you pick out your last outfit? >> what, like it's hard (idk, I just grabbed some clothes and put them on :V)

When buying shoes, what do you look for in the product? >> I buy shoes so infrequently that I don't even know what to look for at this point

What happened to cause the last mess you made?

Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? >> embarrassed?? no. I don't bring people into my bedroom because it's my space and I don't like people in it

When was the last children’s b-day party you attended? >> Sparrow's nephew had his first birthday a few weeks ago

Are you good at reading other people’s body language? >> I don't know. I assume I can figure it out enough to get by but I wouldn't consider myself fluent (also I don't assume that body language is universal -- people's signals can mean different things)

If you’re sick, do you go to school or do you stay home [ usually ]?

Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? >> I don't like chicken noodle soup so it wouldn't make me feel better regardless

What is one meal that you like to eat whilst sick?

Think of the last survey you filled out; did you enjoy it?

Have you ever fed bread to ducks or geese? >> possibly, when I was younger and didn't know any better

Is it hard to imagine you were ever as small as a 1-2 year old? >> I mean, I guess? I don't really think about it

What set the tone for your mood today? >> a complex combination of factors, some that I'm aware of and others that I may be less aware of

Have you ever set out to ruin someone else’s day? >> I don't even think I could pull that off. I don't have that much power

Has you ever felt like the whole world was against you? >> sure

The name of the last video game you played? >> Elder Scrolls Online

The name of the last board game that you played?

What was the last thing that you told yourself? >> hmm. I have no idea, I've mostly been in someone else's presence for the past couple of hours so I haven't been talking to myself

How many times a day do you wash your face? >> once if it's a shower day, zero times if it's not

Do you remember your D.A.R.E. officer’s name?

Someone throws hot coffee on you; how do you react? >> uh. unhappily?? like

Is there a high school or college that you would rather be attending?

Have you ever lived in an apartment or duplex home? >> I have lived in several apartments. no duplexes

Has anyone ever commented on your weight? >> when I was underweight people commented favourably on my weight all the time, which tells you all you need to know about this fucking society

Where do you stand when it comes to sexual intercourse? >> where do I stand??? I mean normally I'd prefer to be lying down when it comes to sexual intercourse, but,

Name a show from the 90’s that you miss?

Who provokes your sarcastic side the most?

Have you ever thought about joining the military? >> briefly as a teenager who didn't know how I was going to transition into adulthood, but I know that would have been a terrible terrible terrible decision so I'm glad I never went through with it

When you were little, did you ever stare at disabled or “different” people? >> possibly, but I think I just didn't pay other people much attention at all

Could the contents of your bedroom get you in any trouble? >> with whom???

Do weather patterns sometimes have an effect on your health? >> my mental health, yeah

If it snows a lot where you live, do you experience cabin fever? >> it doesn't snow enough here for me to actually feel like I can't leave my house for weeks at a time. I just don't want to leave my house when it's snowy and cold, but that's different

When was the last time someone disapproved of something you were doing?

How good are you at getting along with other people? >> I don't know? how is this quantified

Do you consider yourself to be approachable? >> I don't, which means that someone finding me easy to approach probably means they vibe with me

Do you know anyone that’s a little emotionally unstable? >> aren't we all

Have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? >> definitely

Has anyone ever suggested that you might need “help”? >> of course. people say that so easily these days with no regard for the implications

Do you take offense to things easily? >> eh, I don't think so, but I'm also not super easygoing about the casually off-putting shit people like to say

How do you respond to cheesy pick-up lines?

Do you like to give people a taste of their own medicine?

How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? >> it was fine, just like the service at every restaurant I've been to. I've never experienced actually poor service

Are you ever jealous of happy couples? >> all the time, man

Describe a thought that is sticking with you today?

Lately, who has spent the most time on your mind?

In a car: air conditioning, or roll the windows down? >> window down AND a bit of aircon

When was the last time you did anything to your playlist?

Is there a new song or band you’ve discovered? >> I think the last band I discovered was Twin Temple

What teacher gives you the most homework?

What type of personality do you find most annoying? >> it's really hard for me to explain what I find annoying in people, I'd have to give examples with context and stuff

How did you hear about Bzoink? >> I don't remember

How long did it take you to sign up for an account - if you have one? >> I don't remember that either

Are you punctual? >> I suppose I am. I'm definitely not chronically late

Have you ever howled at the full moon? >> I haven't but you know what, I should try that one day

Have you ever seen yourself on camera? >> sure

Do you give any consideration to what’s said in your horoscope? >> yeah, I do give consideration to the horoscopes I read. otherwise I wouldn't read them :V

When was the last time you felt like you were being followed?

[keanthegooseman]

Conspirata | Series Review

Series: Cicero Trilogy (Book #2)

Author: Robert Harris

Genre: Historical Fiction, Mystery

Publication Date: October 8, 2009

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"-any rash fool can be a hero if he sets no value on his life, or hasn't the wit to appreciate danger. But to understand the risk, perhaps even to flinch at first, but then to summon the strength to face them down - that in my opinion is the most commendable form of valour-"

Conspirata is a fictional tale based on real Roman history, reframing it into a captivating novel filled with suspense. Taking place during 63-58 B.C., Conspirata tells the story of Cicero, a Roman orator, during his consulship and the years following its conclusion. During the events preceding his inauguration as consul, the body of a young slave is discovered, bludgeoned in the head with a hammer, throat slit, and his organs harvested. 

I thought this book was amazing. I never expected a novel focused on politics with Ancient Rome as a backdrop to be so enthralling, and yet here I am captivated by the story Robert Harris has created. The story is told through the viewpoint of Tiro, a slave and Cicero's personal secretary. From what I read in the author's note, Tiro was the first to record a Senate speech verbatim, invented a form of shorthand called Notae Tironianae and traces of it ("&," "etc.," "i.e.," "n.b.,"  ''e.g.") are still used to this day. 

The plot is fast-paced, filled with secret plots and political strife. There is always something going on in the story, keeping you on the edge of your seat constantly. Surprisingly, there are moments of humor scattered in the book, which I found myself chuckling at. While there are some slower moments in the plot, they're usually the calm before the storm, and those moments will fill you with a sense of anxiety and a general sense that something bad is about to happen. The writing style of the book is also not difficult to understand, which I personally liked. The politics of the novel was also intriguing and well-defined without being bogged down by too many details.

The characters were well-written, with most of them having distinct personalities, and sometimes having ambiguous motives so befitting for a political fiction. Cicero in particular was great. He was written as a well-spoken, intelligent, moral, and cunning individual with a sense of humor. But even with all these strengths he doesn't win every battle, he falls victim to his own pride, indulges in his popularity, and at times he just doesn't know what to do, which makes him a more relatable figure. I also enjoyed the appearance of Julius Caesar, the one name I distinctly recognize. Acting as an antagonist, Caesar feels like a formidable opponent to Cicero, going toe-to-toe with him on several occasions. 

I don't have much to criticize, but if I had to nitpick, I would have liked it more if we had gotten to see Cicero's speeches more often. In the book and in real life history, Cicero was an accomplished orator, famous for his speeches. While we do get to see him speak on several occasions, we only get parts of his orations. There was also a subplot involving Tiro and a female Greek slave, which I felt came out of nowhere, and was minor that its exclusion wouldn't have impacted the story in any way.

Filled with action, politics, great characters, and rich in history. The story is so enthralling that I forget that the characters and events were based on real people. This was my first time reading any of Robert Hariss' works, and after reading Conspirata, I am obliged and excited to read the rest of his novels. Another thing, after I had finished reading, I learned that Conspirata was the second book in a series, with the first being Imperium. Luckily, I didn't feel like I was missing a lot of details from neglecting to read the first entry.

[chosonore]

summary: toji returned to you, over and over again. which wasn't unusual, considering your friends with benefits situation. but somehow along the way, you found yourself hoping that he would become a constant in your life.

a/n: i somehow found myself in the toji feels and suddenly my fingers were itching to write this last night, so i did djgsgsgs enjoy some soft(er) toji

toji and you had a rather peculiar relationship. you had met him at a bar one night, enjoyed some drinks with him as you flirted - you were alone, choosing to be on your own after a bad week. toji's company was welcome, he was alluring and intriguing. you liked his dry humour, the way he looked at you. just that one night, you wanted to indulge and do something stupid. and so you took him home, spending the night with him. it was a bad lapse of judgement, it could have ended badly after all. but you guessed everyone had their weak moments after a horrible week at work and yours happened to be a dark haired and tall male that had you wrapped around his finger.

the morning after, you profusely apologized to toji, explaining him that you weren't in the right mindset when you took him home. he took no offense, simply laughing it off and telling you that you were both grown adults - you didn't need to justify yourself. that he could tell you enjoyed yourself and he did as well. it was then that you started to see him more often, whether it was at the bar or him appearing at your doorstep out of nowhere. you didn't know much about toji, he didn't ask about your business.

you had an inkling about his questionable jobs and yet you couldn't say no. he didn't hurt you, right? was there anything to worry about? you couldn't tell. he made you feel good and that was all you could ask for. not to mention that he was handsome as well, just your type of dark and brooding.

days and weeks bled into one another until you'd established somewhat of a friends with benefits type of relationship. it was easy and convenient. toji would drop by in the middle of the night, you would fuck and then have some ramen before crashing and going to sleep. sometimes you would talk about trivial things when you couldn't sleep. sometimes, personal details would slip in when you were too tired to care. toji didn't seem to mind, he only listened. but he did remember those details as you came to find out. it made your heart flutter with feelings long forgotten, feelings that you swore to bury after your last breakup.

though he initially crashed at your place rather sporadically, it now had somehow become a constant in your life. perhaps it was the fact that you were expecting him or the fact that it felt natural to have toji staying at your place. it made you feel safer, knowing that he was around or in close proximity at least. you halted in your movements, the sound of the dripping water running forth from the faucet ringing in your ears. toji was sprawled out on your couch, a blanket haphazardly thrown over his middle as he slept peacefully. in this state, he suddenly appeared more youthful; the frown and serious face expression that were usually etched on his face vanished without a trace.

carefully placing the dishes that you'd just washed to the side and turning off the faucet, you dried your hands on a towel before tiptoeing over to the couch. as if sensing your presence, toji immediately wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. the movement forced you to half lie on the couch, awkwardly propping yourself up on your elbows. he made a small noise, blinking as he adjusted to the bright lights. "quite bold of you to sneak up on me like this," toji mumbled gruffly, voice still hoarse and laced with sleep. melting into his touch, you allowed him to pull you into his side, letting him wrap his limbs around you possessively. 

toji’s unruly hair was tickling your neck, poking and brushing over your skin as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. you reached up to carefully brush it out of your way, flattening the strands against the side of his head. exhaling loudly, he moved a little until he found a spot to his liking and pressed his lips against your skin. bit by bit, he showered the expanse of your neck in kisses, paying the utmost attention to spots that he knew you liked and drew cute little sounds from your lips. 

cold fingers slipped underneath your shirt, causing you to squirm a little in his hold and giggle. at the chime of your laughter, toji couldn’t help but smile against your neck. it grew to be one of his favourite sounds, alongside with your name on his lips, voice quiet and breathless as if you’d ran all the way to the door and anticipating his arrival. it filled him with pride to know that you looked forward to his visits, regardless of the nature of your relationship. it was casual, two individuals simply looking for someone to warm their bed. and yet, somewhere along the way, the lines became blurry, eradicated by the warmth that you radiated. 

like a moth to flames, toji found himself returning back to you. unknowingly, he was seeking out your warmth, the gentle fire that melted the ice around his heart and soul until it became but a puddle at his feet. it wasn’t a scorching fire, no, it was gentle like that of a cozy and comforting fireplace. you welcomed him as you always did, never being nosy, never digging around in his business. you were simply there for him. 

you felt like home, like all the good things that he’s been missing from his life up until now. perhaps it was selfish of him to pull you into the tumultuous depths of his life, knowing that you deserved better than what he could offer you. but you were the only constant when everything else was falling apart and crumbling. he wanted to cling to it, to you. affection and love was something toji was rather a stranger to but he found himself willing to try - to return the kindness that you'd extended to him.

part of you had expected him to move his hands further, touch you and engulf you with feverish kisses. give himself to you and tending to you until you knew nothing but his name, blissed out and drunk on pleasure. toji, however, remained still. his fingers danced across your skin but never slipped past your shorts or towards your bra. it felt almost foreign to receive such… affectionate gestures from toji. not that you minded - of course you didn't. your relationship had been nothing but physical up until now. up until toji has started to crash at your place more often.

he would silently listen to your ramblings, distract you from any troubles that were on your mind. it was his presence that demanded all your focus on him, drowning out every other sorrow and worry. while toji didn't offer comfort and advice like your friends would, you knew he acknowledged what you told him and that was enough for you. really, you should stay away from someone like toji. he led a life so different from you, he brought trouble that you didn't need. the tugging in your chest, the longing that spread throughout your heart to your fingertips, they all screamed for him. 

toji might not be the ideal partner but there was softness around his edges that were slowly revealed to you. he intrigued you and you wanted to learn more about him, even if it would take a lot of time and patience. thinking of the future was futile, all your plans could be overthrown in just mere seconds. so all you wanted for now was to enjoy the present, enjoy being in toji's arms.

you dove down to find his lips, kissing him gently. as you pulled away, toji would chase after you, pecking your lips over and over again. joyful giggles erupted from you, you scrunched up your nose and hid your face from him. that didn't deter him whatsoever, he resorted to pressing kisses to your forehead and the crown of your head instead. his hands stilled on the small of your back, gently holding you in place. "what are we doing, toji?" you inquired quietly.

"i don't know. does it matter?"

"i suppose not. but will you be there?"

"with you?"

you hummed, nodding hesitantly. part of you didn't want to hear the answer, afraid of rejection. afraid that he would not be yours like you were his. it was a silly thought, knowing that you were never partners or in a relationship to begin with. with swift movements, toji hauled you on top of him, lips pressed against yours in a languid kiss. he looked you in the eyes, an unspoken promise reflecting in them.

"i will try my best."

[forever-rogue]

hi 🥺 can i have "It's lonely here without you" from list 2 with Jack? 🥺 if possible some hurt/comfort situation? love you 💖

Hi bb, you can have whatever you want 🥺💕

Agent Whiskey x Fem!Reader ; warnings: none

Pedro Characters Masterlist 

»»————-　♡　————-««

You sighed to yourself as you looked around the dark, empty bedroom. It was early still, and the day was just breaking over the horizon. The sky was an inky blue, melding into orange and pink as a new day was beginning. Birds were softly chirping outside the window, traffic was starting up, and the world was slowly waking.

And yet you wished you weren't. Not alone anyways. 

You missed him. You missed Jack. Everything about him - his smile, his laugh, his touch, his kiss. Every little thing about him was so golden and after having been in his glow for so long, it was hard to go with it. It was for work, missions sometimes called him away for extended periods, but it was always hard.

Reaching for your phone on the nightstand, you quickly unlocked it and scrolled through your notifications, swiping away most of them. Only one really caught your attention - a very early good morning text from Jack. A smile tugged on the corners of your mouth as you read over the text and some of your previous conversations. Jack was the epitome of an old man when it came to texting, but damn he tried, and he never failed to make you smile. Your favorites were always the silly selfies he sent in his down time.

Gods, you hoped he would be back soon.

I miss you, you quickly typed out, it's lonely here without you.

Before thinking too much about it, you quickly sent it and turned the phone upside, burrowing back into your pillows. They still smelled like him no matter how often they were washed - not that you minded. 

It was only a few moments before the phone vibrated. Surprised by the quick response, you snatched it back up and hastily opened the message.

Get up, your brow furrowed at the cryptic message, go to the kitchen.

You quickly replied - what?

Just do as I ask for once, Sugar, without any sass.

Fine!

You beamed at his message, still confused as to what he meant, but decided to indulge him. Pushing back the warm, plush blankets you slowly climbed out of the bed, letting your feet hit the carpet with a soft thud. You grabbed a nearby sweater, which just happened to be Jack's, and pulled it on before slowly padding downstairs and to the kitchen. The house you shared with your husband was decently sized, but when you were alone it felt gigantic and cold.

You were humming to yourself as you walked into the kitchen, stopping dead in your tracks as you spied a large bouquet of your favorite flowers on the counter. Your face lit up as you walked over to them, completely forgetting that you should be worried about the fact that mysterious flowers had appeared in your kitchen.

You looked for a card or some of indication of their origin, touching a few of the soft petals. Unfortunately, you found nothing. No card, note, anything until - 

"Hi Sugar," you almost jumped out of your skin as you looked around the flowers and found Jack grinning back at you. You almost squealed in delight as you ducked around the corner as you threw yourself into his arms. He held you tightly, easily wrapping his arms around you as you buried your face into his chest, "hi baby, I've missed you so much."

"Jack," you pulled back to look at him, studying his face, watching as his soft brown eyes crinkled with his smile. You touched his cheek, watching as he keened into your touch, "I've missed you too. I didn't expect you back so soon."

"Maybe I pulled your leg and said I was going to be gone longer than I was," he teased as he kissed you softly. It was easy to melt into his touch, to get completely lost in him, "I wanted to come and surprise my favorite girl."

"Whatever for?" you asked softly as your heart fluttered gently. Gods, you were so in love with him, and you couldn't imagine a life without him anymore, "I don't think I've missed anything...its not our anniversary...no plans? Why…?"

"I didn't think I needed a reason," he insisted with a gentle shake of his head, "I just don't want to be away any longer than I needed to be. And I figured this would be a nice little surprise. I know how hard it is for me to be away from you, and I imagine its the same for you…"

"I detest even being away from you for even a day," you promised, "anything longer is practically torture. I was thinking about stowing myself into your luggage this time around."

"A most welcome surprise that would have been," he swiped his thumb along your cheek before kissing you again. He hand went to the back of your neck as he held you close and you wrapped your arms around his neck, breathing him in. If you could have stayed like that forever, you easily would have, "I love you."

"I love you," you trailed a few kisses along his jaw before going back to his lips and giggling as his mustache tickled your lip. You always teased him for it, claiming it would look ridiculous on anyone else, but it worked for him. And it did - of course he looked handsome without it, but there was something about that was just so...him.

"I suppose I do have one thing I've been wanting to tell you," he cleared his throat as you pulled back, a worried expression etching onto your features. He shook his head fervently before tenderly cradling your face in his hands, "no, no, no, sugar, don't worry - it's nothing bad!"

"Jack! You can't just spring something like that on me," you pouted at him, sticking your bottom lip out as he chuckled softly, "out with it! What is it?"

"Well, I was thinking," he started and immediately held up a finger to your lips to silence you. He knew you well enough to know that you were about to make a sassy comment, "I know its a shocker, but hear me out."

"Sorry baby," you grinned at him, "go on."

"I know we've talked about it and I was just thinking...we've been married for a while now and well, if we're serious about starting a family in the near future, I want to be home more," you listened carefully to his words, but you couldn't help yourself as a grin stretched across your features, "I don't want to miss a thing, and want to be here for everything and I think its time I took a step back from statesman. Besides...I'm not the same young man I once was."

"Jack," you put your hands on his broad chest as you tried to blink back the years that threatened to well up. You'd been waiting to hear those words for some time, although you never would have told him that. You knew how much his job meant to him and you'd never have thought about getting in the way of that. But it never stopped you from worrying about him, even if he was one of the best and most seasoned agents. He was your Jack, and you'd always worry - but this? This was everything, "do you mean it? I'd never ask you to do such a thing, baby. I know how much it means to you."

"I want to do this," he promised gently as he wiped away the single tear that had rolled down your cheek, "for myself and you and whatever else comes down the road. You are more important than anything else."

"I...I don't know what to say," you said softly as you could already picture long leisurely days with Jack at your side and in the near future, maybe a baby of your own, "besides the fact that I love you so much. You mean more to me than you will ever know."

"I'm hoping you'll say it sounds like a good idea," he almost seemed nervous as he searched your eyes for approval. It hadn't been a rash decision by any means, but he hadn't quite discussed it with you before making the decision to significantly cut back his duties. He didn't think you'd have a problem but still… "or otherwise I'll feel like an old fool."

"Of course it sounds like a good idea," you promised, gently carding a hair through his dark locks, "you continually make me the happiest woman. I don't know what I did to deserve you-"

"Oh Sugar, I think its the other way around," he insisted gently, "after...everything with...I never thought I'd get the privilege to love again, or to meet someone like you. You came into my life like a tornado, but I wouldn't change a thing. You have made me believe that there is good in the world, that there is a reason to get up every morning and be the best. I don't think you truly understand the magnitude with which I love you."

"A gentleman and a poet," you whispered as you wrapped your arms around his middle and held him close, "if we weren't already married, I'd say that sounded like a proposal."

"Well, I suppose it is a proposal of sorts, I propose I work less hours and spend more time with you," he teased, "if you'll allow it."

"Always," you beamed at him, "but right now I have a favor to ask of you."

"Of course," you reached for his hand and started to tug him away and towards the staircase, "we go back to bed and be lazy and spend the day doing nothing, "its still so early."

"Well my plan had been to make coffee and breakfast and surprise you with it," he admitted and if you it was possible to be anymore in love with him, you would have fallen in love then and there, "but someone was up early and I couldn't keep a secret."

"I couldn't sleep," you confessed softly, "I missed you...and there's been a lot on my mind lately."

"Oh?" he seemed concerned for a moment before you shook your head to let him know it wasn't anything serious, "everyone's alright?"

"More than alright," you grinned, "let's go back to bed and I'll tell you everything. We can make breakfast - later when the world is actually awake."

"Now you have me intrigued," he admitted as he let you pull him along upstairs. His hand was warm around yours as he held tightly onto it, the simple action causing a warmth to settle all over you. Jack was home and he wasn't going anywhere - what more could you want?

"Its nothing to worry about," you promised as you thought of the little surprise you had for him stashed away in the drawer of the nightstand, "just come with me and hold me and sleep. I've missed you."

"And I have missed you greatly," he paused at the landing of the stairs before pulling you into his arms and kissing you until you were practically drunk off of his touch, "my love."

"And I you," you nuzzled your nose gently against his, "now come on, let us be lazy and relax. Tell me everything about your trip and I'll tell you all about what happened since you've been gone…"

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[alby-rei]

Dessert for Two (Vlad x Reader)

Happy to receive a request from you, Nemo ^///^ I did quite a bit of brainstorming on suitors, but when I went with scene-first, everything just sort of… fell into place! I hope you enjoy reading! ❤

Wordless “I love you” Prompt #18: Sharing a soft smile across a crowded room

[Characters]: Reader, Vlad, Comte

[Word Count]: ~600 words

[Warning]: mentions of food

[Requested by]: @mareaderinsertfanfiction

~*~

For you, there wasn’t much to look forward to at a ball. Sure, getting dressed up was fun and setting out to a new location in 19th century Paris brought some intrigue, but once you’re there, what next? You weren’t particularly fond of dancing with strangers or trying to strike up conversation in broken French.

You did, however, find one thing you enjoyed, and that was the wide variety of assorted desserts.

You plopped another macaron into your mouth from the tray at the food service table. It was self-service, and so you felt less guilty snacking on the assorted pastries one at a time. You tried one of everything. It was part of the experience, you told yourself.

Looking around, you found that most people were busy with their politics and gossip. You shrugged your shoulders and turned back to the oh-so-delicious and wrongfully neglected dessert table. At this moment, you didn’t even mind that your partner for the evening got himself dragged into his “social obligations”, as he put it.

You looked up once more while you savored the pastry goodness, and your eyes landed on a figure across the room helping himself in a similar fashion as your own. Except, he seemed particularly fond of snatching all of the strawberries off of the cakes. Ever so discreetly, he pokes into the ripe red fruit and bites happily.

Upon feeling the weight of your gaze, the silver-haired man straightened himself, garnet eyes scanning the room until they fell upon your own. He was still chewing when he’d locked eyes with you from across the room, his right cheek protruding cutely as his eyes widened from being caught in his strawberry heist. You blinked back at him, a sheepish smile forming on your own visage as you tried to chew discreetly. His shock dissolved into a soft fond smile. He brought his hand back up, swiftly swiping at the next strawberry. You did the same with the pastries at your table. It became a sort of unspoken contest as to how far you could both eat.

You dabbed your mouth with a napkin, thinking about heading over to him. Your French may not be fluent, but you can still hold your own in a converstion, you assured yourself. If not, you could always use the food as your excuse, and no harm done.

You took a deep breath, ready to put your plan into action when—

“There you are.”

You whipped your head around, ready to excuse yourself from the incoming guest, but a pair of apologetic golden eyes beat you to it.

“My deepest apologies, ma chérie. I’d left you alone for far too long,” le Comte de Saint-Germaine hovered his hand over your shoulder, but you dodged before he could make contact.

“That’s okay, I’ve been...” you stepped back to gesture towards the table, “indulging myself, as you can see.”

Le Comte chuckled, thanking you for accompanying him to this event and commenting on how lovely you look this evening.

Except you weren’t listening. You turned your head back to glance at your mysterious snacking partner, but he was already out of sight. You frowned at his disappearance, sad that the moment you shared had passed on so quickly.

Although no words were exchanged between you two, you enjoyed the impromptu company of the strawberry snatcher. You couldn’t find him for the rest of the evening, but he’d left you with a fond memory at the otherwise uneventful ball.

At the time, you didn’t know if this chance encounter would amount to anything substantial, but since then you’d hoped to bump into him again sometime. If there’s anything you’d learned from your time spent in the 19th century, it’s that a big city such as Paris had its way of drawing people together when they least expect it.

[sitp-recs]

Happy birthday fw00shy!!

I thought I couldn’t possibly make two reclists on the same week let alone the same day but eh, that’s what happens when brilliant people share a birth date! I considered making a single rec for @fw00shy and spent 30 minutes trying to choose only one fic then I realized it would be impossible not to mention at least three favorites because I can think of 648271 things to say about them, thank you very much.

You know that kind of perfect slice-of-life with perfect setting and perfect punch lines that makes you visualize everything and wish you could see it on the big screen? Fwooshy’s stuff never fails to make me feel like that. She has such a strong and unique storytelling voice, with refreshing characterization, creative plots and viscerally hot smut sequences - how could I ever resist?

With a very particular narrative - sometimes crude and brutal, others gentle and aching, always mixing the best of both worlds - she has been an invaluable addition not only to the Drarry fandom but also to the rare pairs community, and I love how unique and powerful each one of her works is. Here’s yet another personal and biased selection of my favorite delights, in no particular order. Make sure to leave them some appreciation, and feel free to add your own fwooshy faves to this post! Happy birthday darling!!! 🎉💜

DRARRY

Phoenix in the Fire (2021 | Explicit | 1.4k)

Their first time was an accident. "Sex pollen," Draco claims, though everyone knows it was too much Ogden's after Puddlemere beat the Tornados 240-230.

Few shorts feel like a punch to the solar plexus that leaves you breathless with yearning - I can think of at least two, one being this fic and the other being Still Life by Seefin. This gem is only 1.4k but it might as well be 15k because holy shit there’s SO MUCH character and emotional development packed in here. Draco’s voice is a triumph, Harry’s guilt rips my heart apart, and the A+ smut is filthy hot and indulgent, every line written with such precision and intent it makes me ache. Absolutely brilliant.

Big Hands (2020 | Explicit | 4.5k)

Draco Malfoy is a pianist who's just moved to Paris. Harry Potter, his new roommate, has the biggest hands he's ever seen. Draco is immediately obsessed.

The Victorian AU we didn’t know we needed! This is such a creative and refreshing take on their enemies to lovers dynamics, in a completely different and fascinating scenario. I was immediately captured by the rich atmosphere, sharp characterization and delectable sexual tension. I don’t usually read AUs by I do love myself some musician Drarry, and this fic transpires loves for music and art. 

in a rambling way (2021 | Teen | 7.5k)

Ron knocked Hermione up, and now Harry's got to figure out how to clone himself so that his friends don't split up fighting over him. Falling for Draco again was never part of the plan.

Fluffy pining by fwooshy?? Did I read it right? God, I have the biggest soft spot for this lovely break up/make up tale - I’ve always been a slut for road trip fics, and the camping scenario is such a nice change of pace and the perfect excuse to explore the Golden Trio dynamics. This is one of the most gorgeous and heartfelt contemplative fics I’ve ever read, full of gentle yearning and a wistful narrative that took my breath away. They sound so young doing mundane things I got a lump in the throat. 

RARE PAIRS

In the Mood (2021 | Explicit | 367 words) - Draco/Ron

"I saw you with Harry today," Ron says. "In the Ministry cafeteria."

I dare you to find 367 words hotter than this. What a treat to see fwooshy exploring one of my favorite rare pairs! I’ll have jealous, sexy Ron for breakfast any day, pls and thank

Money (2021 | Mature | 1.1k) - Ginny/Pansy

Pansy looks like money. Ginny's letting her body call the shots.

One of the sexiest femlash pieces I’ve ever read, lush, intriguing and decadent,  with unique atmosphere and brilliant dynamics. A fascinating dive into this scorching power couple!

Cold as Light (2021 | Explicit | 2k) - Ron/Harry, Ron/Cho

Ron ran into Cho at one of those basement clubs that popped up everywhere during the first few years after the war. Then there was Harry. There was always Harry.

I’m personally offended by how much these 2k made me ACHE. The heartbreak is deliciously melancholic and I can’t let go of these characters, so doomed and beautiful in their own way. Such a brilliant take on Cho, who definitely deserves more fwooshy love!