#but the cis women 'allies' who are like 'i know trans guys i have a trans friend who most definitely isnt scared to tell me off for my

[craycraybluejay]

Saw a Reddit post about a cis woman infantilizing trans men, and this is why I think cis women are THE most annoying version of transphobia in the world. Like yeah a cis man will tell you "kys tranny" but he's not very well going to take the time to psychologically torture you for the heck of it by treating you like you are exactly [three] years old.

[0w0tsuki]

God damn "dude/man/guy is gender neutral actually" discourse is really a sign y'all are fucking hopeless. Because the bar is quite literally on the FUCKING FLOOR.

You know the stereotypical "performative cis liberal ally"? The one who upon acknowledging they've been corrected about an accidental misgendering, turns it into an entire god damn show of apologizing and telling you how HARD they're working to gender you correctly. Yeah if you're someone who defends the use of dude and man as gender neutral terms guess what? Even with making every apology a grand display at least they're fucking apologizing and putting forth an effort to show you that they're putting your interests in mind.

Which is more than can be said of you.

Imagine if they were told they accidentally deadnamed you. And instead of the usual acting like they just accidentally hit their own fucking child they went "Actually I think [DEADNAME] is pretty androgynous and could be used for anyone of any gender! I'm not going to use it now that you have corrected me! But I just wanted you to know I didn't see myself as explicitly misgendering you when I used [DEADNAME]"

We are asking for the BARE MINIMUM amount of effort! Literally all you have to do is if your going to insist that "Using gender neutral terms when referring to somebody even when their actual gender is readily available information is actually the correct way to gender somebody online" that at the VERY LEAST use actual gender neutral terms instead of dude/guy/man. You don't even give up your use of it in your everyday life. You're only being asked to think about this in spaces where trans women are common such as online queer spaces.

That is how little trans women not being misgendered left and right in places that sell themself as safe for her matters to you. It matters so little that you can't even be asked to not do the barest minimum to not contribute to an environment where anyone who wants to misgender a trans woman with no repercussions can just Dude her knowing full well that she will view it as misgendering and fall back on "oh I was just being gender neutral. YoU sHoUdN't AuToMaTiClY aSsUmInG pEoPlE's GeNdErS!!" Which is a common enough occurrence that we have to have this fucking discourse.

The bar is on the floor and y'all are digging holes just to not have to face the smallest of inconveniences. Performative allies are fucking lapping you. You should be embarrassed.

Do better

[objection-u-a-bitch]

I seen you post about me hating.

I just like to say that I agree with it partialy.

Trans men are men, and disabeld men are men just like ableld bodied men (this includs trans men). But unlike cis, and ablebodid men, trans men and disabeld men are much more safer for women to be around. Trans men were treated like girls growing up, so they know what it's like, and we don't need to explain how we are viewed socialy. And we don't have to be sceard of disabeld men become they can't really hurt us the same way as able bodied men can. Like a man in a wheelcheir can't kill us with his own hands dou to phisical restriction he has.

And I still be sceard of Jewish, black, asian, ect, men because they are men. Like if I'm alone at night going home from work then I will be sceard of any men regardless of his religion, ethnicity (exept Russian, if you see a Russian no metter the genders they are defenetly up to no good), or race I will be sceard the same way.

And fat men are a mix bag. They are eather sweat guys who strougles with self esteem issues and deservs support, or a raging misogenist who hates on fat women.

I don't know what post I made that you think is about you. The post about needing to unlearn misandry to be an ally that is pinned to my account is directed at everyone in leftist circles, and not because of a singular post I saw anywhere. I made it over two months ago with regards to general frustrations I have with anti-masculinity in the queer community in particular, but also in other leftist circles. It's funny though that you saw that post and thought it was about you. I don't even know who you are. And you clearly aren't telling me, because you're on anon. I'm not going to spend the time telling you why all of your ask is horseshit. It just is. You treat minority groups like a monolith and use it to justify being scared and bigoted towards men of all kinds. You treat all trans and disabled men as nonthreatening, which is infantilising, while saying all Russians are dangerous, which is some McCarthyist Cold War red scare bullshit. You talk about fat men as if only the "good ones" deserve support. Men constitute approximately 50 percent of the world population. To hate, fear, dismiss, avoid, ignore, and insult them is incongruent with leftist ideas of making the world a better place for everyone. Men are as varied and complex as women. They can be as gentle or as aggressive as women can be. They can be as harmless or as dangerous as women can be. They can be as forward-thinking or as close-minded as women can be.

You can't treat men as a monolith, and you also can't divide men into neat little groups that you sort into "good" and "bad". Every person is an individual who can choose to do good or do bad. Some of the white able-bodied cishet men in my life are the most supportive and kind people I know, and I know some fucking vile disabled trans men who need to shut the fuck up.

Taking precautions for your safety at night is reasonable, just like putting your seatbelt on in the car is reasonable, just like putting a smoke and carbon monoxide detector on every floor of your house is reasonable. Treating all men like shit because a few of them could be bad is not.

[literallyaflame]

transgender masculinity will never be regarded in the same way as cisgender masculinity because transgender masculinity opposes the “natural order.” trans men do not magically gain oppressive power over cisgender women simply by calling themselves men, or by behaving in a masculine way. in fact, the opposite tends to be true. i was a “masculine woman” for many years and my cis female peers treated me like dog shit garbage, because if you’re masculine in opposition the sex binary, you’re a threat and an outsider

this is why i’m not comfortable with cis women making bold claims about the overall transmasculine relationship with sexism. it’s not as simple as “you’re a man so you’re the oppressor now.” the social power of masculinity is inextricably tied to biological essentialism. some trans men pass as male, yes, but some don’t. others pass as feminine men, some are indistinguishable from butch lesbians. hell, some transmasculine people still identify as butch lesbians. transmasculine experiences are not universal, and depending on where you fall, you’re going to have utterly different day-to-day experiences with sexism & misogyny

the thing about conventional cis womanhood is that, while oppressed, it doesn’t oppose the natural order. trans manhood does. trans men often don’t have a place among men or among women, which is the isolating effect of living in opposition to the sex binary. it sucks, it’s difficult to manage, most trans people deal with it at some point, and the majority of cis women frankly have no stake in that conversation. i resent the idea that i have some kind of universal privilege over a group of people who were (historically) some of my worst oppressors—not because they identify as women and i identify as a man, but because their femininity did not defy expectations and my masculinity did

don’t get me wrong, anyone can be a misogynistic loser, trans guys included. also, cis women are not exempt from experiencing oppositional sexism. but some of the weird exclusionary shit i see from cis “allies” is borderline indistinguishable from the “ummmm she can’t be in the locker room with us, she’s technically female but she’s… you know… i’m sorry but it’s just not appropriate” nonsense i endured as a teenager lmao

[spacelazarwolf]

is it just me that feels like there's a Femininity is the Ultimate Good for Everyone subtext in a lot of queer spaces? because as a trans man i've felt that and honestly i keep telling myself it's not about me, it's not for me...but it's a really isolating feeling. femininity is not for me, no amount of reinforcing it can make womanhood for me.

i feel like part of the difficulty of being a trans man is that like. for allies to be normal to you, they have to also be kinda normal about men. because we ARE men, and you're not going to know which man o n the street is trans without knowing ahead of time. but a lot of people really cannot be normal about men.

not saying people have to like or be attracted to men, but if we have a standard where it feels like women who want to live their lives as men are "traitors" then there's a problem.

oh also i'm bi, it also sucks for bi ppl. i don't feel comfortable mentioning that i'm a guy who likes men in a lot of online spaces.

oh 1000000%. it's the ra/dical feminism that we still haven't addressed within the queer community. we just decided that trans women were cool and kept the rest of it (which ironically still hurts trans women and femmes, but they're pressured to not say anything about it.) like no one is telling u that u have to worship men. we're just saying don't be a fucking weirdo around us.

also with the 'not saying you have to like or be attracted to men' thing, it's like literally what we call cis people out for! only respecting people they're attracted to! you don't have to be attracted to men to not be a dick to some random guy for no reason!

[sp-dr-isnotaloli]

Alright, I’m gonna lay out some bad arguments against Gwen being trans that I’ve seen and respond to them.

1. Gwen Stacy was cis in the comics.

Well, 616 Gwen was cis in the comics (there is a storyline in which she gives birth to Norman Osborne’s children and we do see the pregnancy), though that was never established until the 90s. 65 Gwen Stacy, our beloved Spider-Gwen whom the movie character is based on, has not been established to be cis, and her universe is different enough from 616 that assuming she is would be a mistake. Now, the Gwen Stacy of Earth 8 is a possible future Gwen, and there is some evidence that she may be cis (she has children who resemble her, but we don’t know for sure that they’re not adopted nor that transition healthcare on 8 doesn’t include the ability for trans women to carry children) but it’s not conclusive.

More importantly, however, the versions of these characters in the movies are not so close to their comics counterparts that we should assume everything about them is the same unless otherwise stated. I mean:

2. Gwen’s universe changes color like a mood ring to reflect her emotions.

Okay. So, in the scene where Gwen is confronting her dad about her identity, trying to get him to see past his prejudices and see her for who she is, to accept her for who she is, to accept all of her when she’s sick of the world only ever knowing half of her, her emotions bleed out into the world around her, painting herself and her environment in pink, blue, and white... and you think that makes this scene less trans?

Like, one of the first things the animators told us was that they know these colors are associated with trans people, and they told us that by associating those colors with Gwen specifically. And you think it’s just a coincidence that the colors they chose to reflect how Gwen feels while she’s coming out to her dad are a bleeding trans flag?

3. Gwen could just be an ally. Miles had a BLM pin too!

Guys. Miles is not a white ally to black people. Miles is black. If Mile’s BLM pin is meant to parallel Gwen’s flag - if that pin tells us anything about Gwen’s flag at all - it would mean that Gwen is trans. The black kid has the pin with the message about protecting black people, the trans kid has the flag with the message about protecting trans people.

4. Gwen looks cis. No trans girl looks like Gwen Stacy.

Gwen literally looks exactly like prominent trans actress Hunter Schafer.

In fact, we’ve been talking about how Gwen looks trans since the first trailer for Into the Spiderverse dropped. Like, maybe you weren’t paying attention, but no, Gwen definitely looks like a trans girl. Like, we can literally point to a trans girl she looks like.

5. None of this proves she’s trans!

Okay, sure, maybe you’re not convinced. But it’s still evidence. Conclusions about a story or a character based on textual evidence are fan theories, and this is a fan theory, a fairly well supported one.

Given that there’s no evidence that Gwen is cis, however, that’s not a theory. That’s just a headcanon. And pushing your headcanon when people are talking about a fan theory you don’t agree with is rude. You’re being rude.

6. Her dad doesn’t have a trans pin on his jacket!

This one is true, actually.

George Stacy does not literally wear a trans pin on his uniform. Rather, the very deliberate lighting and coloring in one scene made it look like the trans flag. This one could actually be coincidence, but like, it’s not like her dad having a trans pin is the foundation of the theory. It still stands up perfectly well if it was coincidence.

[punkeropercyjackson]

When i was almost entierly friendless and lost in myself,lesbians and trans women gave me their friendship in the form of kind words,support,defending me,making things for me they knew i'd love,fun hangouts and did and have done nothing but make me love myself in my transmasculine and nonbinary/bigender girlhood even when i don't know them and are the type of woman i relate the most to like i do my fellow black women and i'm now dating a trans woman who was my best friend for a long time and stuck by me through stick and thin and i love them-they are pre op and e and have specifically asked for they/them until they can start their transition-with my entire heart,soul and life because they were exactly the person,the kinda girl i could've used in my life as a bullied autistic tomboy that was getting fucked up without even knowing it and i deeply admire my lesbian friends femme and butch alike for their amazing gender expression and how beautiful their love is and they've said the same about me

Lesbians and transfems are not hateful.They're wonderful people who're full of so much love and just because with the exception of my girlfriend that love's not romantic that dosen't make it any less valuable and you 'interfighting is stupid,we're supposed to be having t4t sex!!!' niggas need to lower your borderning on sexual harrassing voices because you sound like creepy douchebags and like conservatives too when you rag on 'f*mboys',a tma slur to begin with,for being too feminine and kiddy and cringe or whatever rethoric you haven't unlearned.If a lesbian or a trans girl dosen't like you,there's a very high chance you did something to provoke them or him or her or xem or [insert the neopronoun that will piss you off the most here]and you might've done it on purpose.The patriarchy dosen't stop at cishets and it's worth noting that pretty much all my trans guy friends are somewhere on the nonbinary spectrum.Don't be talkin' bout lesbians and tgirls being too harsh on men and having 'male experiences to analyze' at all actually,because you're implying a lot that never applies

If you want to be as much of a man as cis men,then you be prepared for the fact that you're as capable as misogyny as them,ESPECIALLY if you're cis passing and i never will be because i'm so femme presenting and naturally adrogynous looking thanks to being black/white that i find my looks perfect for my gender and i'm still a man just as i am a woman.Lesbians don't have fuck men to be 'real allies' and you can't make them the bad guy for not wanting men if you get to the good guy for not wanting to be near girlhood at all and unless they wish to be identified as such by multigenderhood or another factor,trans women have every right to not want to be lumped in with men or lack of gender at all.Intersectionality is very important.In all aspects.Not just when it might benefit you.Be serious just silly goofy little guys,you haven't been funny since you started that shit and i'm going to strap you to a Looney Tunes car unless you stop telling lesbians to stop defining themselves by not loving men and bullying tgirls for loving being girls.Those are my best friends and my girlfriend and my friends' friends you're harrasing you ungrateful cunts

[writefinch]

Communion

(cn: piss, foot stuff)

It clicked for me about a month ago, years after it had become apparent to the people who knew me, but I'm not short-sighted and self-pitying enough to think that meant I'd wasted time or could've made the leap sooner. If I was less kind to myself I'd say 'boy, I had the maps and I knew the landmarks so how'd I end up in the wilderness so long' but I was sailing through fog, and you know what? When I saw that landmass looming in the distance, I sailed towards it.

I didn't know totally what it meant, still don't in fact. Last year I joked about being a cis boy dyke, and since then I've struck the 'cis' and I'm shaky on the 'boy' and the part that was a joke was the truest thing of all.  Am I a boy? Maybe. A woman? I don't think so. A man? I truly fucking hope not. A good girl? Put a collar on me and we'll see.

The thing about fog is that you can't just step back and get a big picture view of everything. My instincts tell me that if I want to figure things out I should look at them at a remove, see where it fits into everything around it, map things out and move forward cautiously. That's what I want to do, it's what I've always done, but fog makes it impossible. You have to get in close if you want to see things, you can't keep it at a distance.

I couldn't move ahead and start hormones right away, not for a few months, for reasons I won't get into here. Delays don't sit well with me brain because I know my brain and I don't trust it, I don't trust it not to treat this like some other big rewarding involving project like learning Polish or playing Go, decide we're too busy and it's too scary and shove the whole thing into a mental oubliette to never see the light of day again. Sure, my friends call me Charlotte now and I've got she/her next to my Discord username, but I wanted something stronger, I wanted something that would cut into me.

I can't remember the name of the first trans woman I knew as a person, rather than as a punchline to a cruel joke. It was on Tumblr and it must have been after 2015 because I remember she had an Undyne avatar, but maybe not, because surely Violet, the "boy" I'd been practically engaged to, had come out as trans at that point? Surely I knew Skeeter, that poor, vicious mess of a girl well enough by then? It must have been earlier than that, the ponies had turned me queer by 2013 at the latest.

No, no, the Undyne-avatar lady was the first time I saw someone I knew be openly *Marxist-Leninist*, she was just also trans.

Anyway I don't know what it was, but even though I was rock-solid confident in being cis and a guy (a guy or a dude, it never bought me any joy to think of myself as a 'man'), something about trans women just really stuck with me. I found their stories compelling, I found their experiences interesting and oddly relatable, though I didn't suffer dysphoria as I thought they described it. I made friends with some trans girls, some of my friends became trans girls, and suddenly most of my friends were trans girls. I burned at injustices done to them, I bought hormones for friends, donated to trans street medic projects, helped newly-cracked eggs get in touch with DIY medding sources, y'know, normal cis ally stuff.

Recently, I realized that I loved trans women. I fucking love them so much. I fucking love all of the varied and fractious transfemme communities that have allowed me to be a part of them, as nothing more than a cis guy who draws a lot of porn. I'm not going to say anything about Blahaj and Bridget and pink coding socks because I know the girl who fucking hates that silly terminally-online stereotype and I know the girl who *is* that silly terminally online stereotype and I love them both and love so many trans girls in all their aspects between and beyond those boundaries. I have never found myself so close to any group of people, so filled with admiration and wonder and love and lust for them, so overjoyed by their trust and friendship and confidence in me, so blessed to call myself a friend and contemporary, as I have of the trans women in my life.

I had accepted some time ago, with no pain and more than a little pride, that I would admire them but be apart from them, that my place would be as a welcome guest, that I would be among them but not one of them, and--

A crack has opened within me to let the light seep in.

I'm one of them. I really am one of them, they're mine and I am theirs and I never want to let this go, this revelation is a gift that I'm barely beginning to comprehend and I can't bear the thought that I might let it pass me by and slouch back into darkness.

So, I would bring a change upon myself, in a way that was small but could not be un-changed, a vow that could not be forgotten, only consciously recanted.

I cut out a lot of the idea before I brought it up, mostly out of time and expedience. I thought of a prayer to Inanna, but that felt like a clumsy thing to rush, and I decided I'd make a shrine to her only once I had the wisdom to pay Her proper respects. I liked the idea of getting caned or whipped in a purifying way first, but that felt too much like regular kink, just inspiration for another drawing. The idea of doing the ritual under psychedelics intrigued me but, well, I've never done anything but amphetamines and poppers before, and I didn't want to dull the experience of either the ritual or the drugs by combining the two under my own inexperience - though, I did include poppers.

Alice, Emily and Lily - not their real names but you get the picture - were very good about it. They told me it was a cute idea, and we met up at Emily's ground-floor studio flat on Sunday night. We'd have been playing board games anyway, and they even seemed a little excited by the idea, even if they weren't buzzing from anticipation like me.

I'd only worn the clothes once since I'd bought them - black tights, a knee-length straight skirt, a black blouse - but my heart didn't pound like that the first time I put them on. I shaved my face upwards and against the grain, my skin still annoyingly stubble-grey, but that would show much less in the candlelight.

When I stepped out of Emily's bathroom the girls had already set things up, candles and all. They were sitting on chairs in a semi-circle, backlit by flickering orange candlelight. As I approached they got stage giggles; I did too, it felt infectious.

Once the giggles had cleared, Alice, in the middle, asked me to state my name and purpose.

'My name is Sophie, and I am here to recieve communion.'

'Very well,' said Alice, and pointed to a spot between their chairs marked in white tape. I knelt there, a bowl of water to one side and a small bag at the other.

I turned to Lily, bowed my head, and asked her if I could wash her feet. She nodded, and I took the bowl and wash cloth and gently cleaned her feet with warm water. Once they were clean and free of sweat and sock lint, I bent down to dry them with my hair. She nodded her approval, and I asked Emily if I could do the same for her. Likewise I cleaned her feet and likewise dried them with my hair. Alice did not get her feet out, for me nor anyone, and instead allowed me to lick her shiny black boots, which only had the faintest hint of grit to them.

Once I had performed the ablutions, the girls daubed me. Alice held my jaw firm in one hand as she applied mascara to each of my lashes with the other, Emily let me rest my chin on her fingertip as she painted my lips a vibrant red, and Lily stroked my hair as she marked my cheeks with blush. They cooed and called me pretty, and Lily's blush felt superfluous.

I presented each of them with a gift: An Adventure Time tarot deck for Lily, a sharpening stone for Emily, a guide to mushrooms for Alice. They accepted the gifts, and gave me gifts in return: a simple black choker from Lily, a bottle of amyl nitrite from Emily, a stack of trans zines from Alice. My voice cracked a little as I thanked them, and cracked a little more after they watched me take a few long, heady hits from the poppers bottle.

Alice asked me if I was ready to recieve communion; I begged her, please, yes.

She took a blister pack of 2mg estradiol and popped out a single blue pill. I knelt and looked up at her, eyes open, heart thumping, mouth wide.

She placed the tiny pill on my tongue and said, 'Sophie, this bread is your flesh, which is given to you.'

Then, she stood up, unzipped her jeans, pulled her limp cock out of her underwear and pushed it between my lips, which I wrapped tight around it.

'Sophie, this wine is your blood, drink this in rememberance of yourself.'

It took her a moment to start pissing, and her urine immediately washed the pill down my throat. It tasted fucking disgusting, almost as salty as seawater with that weird, almost chemical aftertaste. It turned my stomach, and I felt euphoric as I sucked it down.

After that they praised me and called me a girl and a faggot and a whore, and I kept sucking Alice's cock until Emily wanted a blowjob too, and from there it turned into regular lesbian sex, Lily's chastity cage clinking fruitlessly against mine as Emily went around biting us both and Alice had me lick her armpit clean of sweat, fingering and kissing and pinching until we all got tired enough to start watching movies in Emily's bed.

I got up and fetched drinks and sandwiches for everyone and something happened between aftercare, the aftermath of a religious service, and an after-action report. They all kept calling me a pretty girl, which I *really* liked, and Alice asked me how the whole thing had turned out, if I felt anything had changed, and I had to eat two salami and cucumber sandwiches before I could figure out my answer.

Something had changed, but the change had happened months ago, and it had taken communion for me to see it. It didn't clear up my questions or reveal hidden knowledge, I don't know if I'm a she/her boy or a he/him girl, I don't know if I'm actually a woman or just not at all a man, I don't know if this is a thing I've become or if I've been this all along and it's taken this long to discover it. I don't even know if I've really settled on Sophie.

All I got from communion, from this sacred connection of love and knowledge from other trans girls to me, was surety in the things I already kinda knew:

I'm transgender as fuck and I'm a big fucking dyke.

[gwenthebard]

This post is going to be a pure rant, but random things I've put up with as a pansexual trans woman with a preference for men:

-people assuming Im a "love all women and 3 specific men" pansexual, not listen when I say "women are like 20% my attraction", and then get frustrated when I dont find women they find hot hot

-have other trans women insinuate to my face that my attraction to men as a trans woman is me being comp het, and eventually Ill be sapphic again once im more confident in myself

-have other trans women insinuate to my face even if I prefer men I should avoid dating them, and then just unironically say radfem talking points demonizing men

-people above will only find a man "safe" and hot if he's gnc and subby, and if you find any sort of other man hot they will continue with the vaguely radfem talking points while infantilizing your attraction

-cis men who show interest in trans women will inevitably get accused of being eggs or chasers, depending on if theyre gnc or not. Gnc men are considered something to be normalized and celebrated until that point

-a trans woman who knows a lot of sapphics because she was friends with a couple makes perfect sense, and a cis woman whose friends with a lot of trans women because she knows a couple is an ally, but a cis man who knows a lot of trans women because he knew a couple [see point before]

-will get sometimes inappropriately sexualized by men for openly liking men, and get objectified for it

-dom or switchy sapphics, trans or not, will start acting toppy or dommy to you within a couple days, which can either be really nice or annoying depending on the mood. Often will get treated as a generic good, but seen as intrinsically bad from even a man youve been flirting with

-will hear people describe a generic or conventially ugly woman as a goddess, but if you say a generic or conventionally ugly man is hot you'll be told your standards are too low

-I can simp Ianthe Tridentarius or Minthara for a week straight with little push back and people understanding "she never did anything wrong" is a joke, but if I find a fictional man hot people will resort to group discussion or reading his wiki page looking for reasons to say why I shouldnt simp him

-I like toxic fictional characters. Can say "I support womens rights, but I also support womens wrongs" all day, but the moment the target of attraction is a fictional man you're infantilized by people acting like you cant be trusted to not know those things only belong in fiction

-hammering this point by now, but literally if I want to simp a fictional man I need to go out of my way to not bring up any red flags or even the most generic good guy will be seen in a bad light

[aromantic-enjolras]

The Amies of the HRT headcanons

This is based on a brainrot with @shamedumpster a long time ago, and a continuation of this post. I won't go into Grantaire, Joly and Bossuet because they are all that post.

Enjolras is really in-your-face about being trans. She is not trying to pass, she doesn't have to pass to be trans. If cis women can be butch and still be women, she can go around with a five-o-clock shadow and not go on HRT and still be a woman. One time during one of their fights Grantaire accuses her of saying that "because you already look like a girl to begin with" and she almost decked her.

Combeferre is your classic case of the person who went into a STEM major as a boy and came out as a girl. She jokes that she should have been tipped by the fact that she always played girls on RPGs. She's thankful that her coworkers are not overtly transphobes, but also sometimes they're..... they've got the spirit. That's what she tells herself. The Amies are her safe space. Also, the moment she realised she was trans she started digging into the literature. Any question you can have, she will whip out an answer, with peer-reviewed citations and footnotes.

Courfeyrac is a theatre kid. She started playing with gender at theatre, putting on dresses and makeup at rehearsals. She went down the he/they->they/them->she/they-> she/her pipeline. Her family is relatively supportive and also loaded, and she started her transition relatively young, which means she has the most complete passing out of all the Amies. She's very hot and she knows it; but she is also very careful around cis guys. She has been called "a trap" enough times to be wary.

Feuilly is mostly closeted. She can't, or doesn't dare, to be out in her blue-collar job. She can't lose her source of income, no matter how uncomfortable she is. One year she gets the courage to go to Pride, staying in the middle of the Amis and trying to stay invisible from the outside, when she hears a voice calling her deadname, and sees a girl from work looking at her. Before she can react, though, the girl is apologizing for misgendering her at work and asking for her real name. After that point, at least she has an ally.

Bahorel started her gender realization as an almost ironic thing. She became a drag queen because "wouldn't it be funny if a guy that looked like me pretended to be a girl???" and somewhere along the way she realized that actually no, it isn't funny. And she's not pretending. Now she's the biggest defender of "cringe is dead". Do things wholeheartedly or don't do them at all.

Jehan is a witchy trans. She knows everyone's star charts (or she thinks she does, Grantaire gave her a fake one to mess with her), and she swears that she can tell who is going to be trans by their star charts alone.

I hope you enjoyed this!!

[up-in-flames-writing]

This is an old Twitter thread I'm posting here as an archive, when I eventually get banned on there for not tolerating transphobic abuse against me.

Still pretty relevant tho, even tho it was written almost a year & a half ago.

I'm sorry, I don't know how to do alt text, so here is the image ID under the cut:

[Image ID: A Twitter thread made by user Booker-Garet Feniks @abookandabun. The thread reads:

So, lately, I've been seeing some Takes™ on transition on here, & as a transman who looks like a baby butch lesbian, I have some Thoughts™, so here's a thread

First thing's first: I am short. I am skinny (read: underweight), & curvy. I have a more or less conventional hourglass figure. I also have a soft face, big lips & big eyes with long lashes. I keep my nails long & my hair long & when I cut them, they grow back fast

By all means, if I were a woman, I would be, if not conventionally attractive, at least conventionally feminine, with my small waist, wide hips, my long legs, & even my tiny tits. Despite this, I dress masculine. I hold myself like a man, I deepen my voice

My voice is naturally a bit deep, but not deep enough for there to be any ambiguity about what's in my pants. I still speak in a fake, deep voice, & when I introduce myself, I do it with a grin & tell everyone very openly 'my name is Booker-Garet'

Despite this, I do not pass. I am constantly Miss'ed & Ma'am'ed when I'm out & about. People who know me need to be told that I'm a man & go by he/him pronouns. Imagine that, imagine calling a teenage boy with an unambiguous male name 'she'. Imagine how I feel

How I feel when none of my efforts matter. How, when I'm at my most masculine while pre-op & pre-T, people see meas nothing more than a girl. It's distressing. I know what they're thinking, that I'm a tomboy or a lesbian. If they recognise that I'm trans, they don't show it

And, I feel like it's easy to get mad at GNC women. It's easy to get mad at the tomboys & the butches & the studs. 'They think I'm you' you might think. 'You're too visible & I'm not, & they think I'm you.'

I find it easy to blame a lot of ciswomen for this. The ones who tell me I should've just stayed a lesbian (which I never was), that I should've just been a tomboy (which I was), that I'm a traitor to womanhood (so be it). It is easy to get mad at them

It's hard being a trans guy, when the only pieces of masculinity coming from a female person people are aware of are the ones who are women, who stay women & who love being women. I didn't love being a woman. I love women, I love my cis & trans sisters

But I can't help feeling bitter when they perform masculinity & no one denies their womanhood, no one on the right side of history. But I can be my most manly self & even my allies feel that I'd just be better off as a lesbian, as a masculine woman.

As if masculinity is alright, is safe, as long as you're a woman who performs it, but the moment you're a man performing masculinity, you're not worth the time, the effort, the brain power.

Almost as I'd it's easier for people to accept me as a masculine woman, with my deep voice & my masculine name, than admit to the fact that I am a man

It's hard to admit that you don't pass. It's hard to admit that I'm not a 'real man', whatever that means. It's not, however, hard to admit that I don't have privilege. It's not hard to admit that I face misogyny.

It's not hard to admit that if you're AFAB & masc presenting, nothing short of a Thor voice & a Gandalf beard, & body hair like a gorilla will make people see you as anything but a woman. Because if I don't say this, who else will? I can't let people live a lie

I can't let people keep on believing that 'transmascs have it easier', that it's easier for us to pass. I can't let people keep believing that we 'run away from womanhood to have male privilege'. Where's my male privilege, Joanne? Did it get lost in the Owl Mail?

People will keep on believing that we have it easier, that we don't face discrimination, that we don't get misgendered & assaulted & killed. They will keep believing that, & they will keep ignoring us & our oppression, unless someone finally says 'Enough!' & tells their story

& I'm a good story teller, so I'm telling you. I don't pass, I wish I did, but I don't. Many of my brothers do not pass. Stop ignoring us just because you think we have it 'easier'. We don't, & your inaction is allowing us to get killed. Do better

End image ID]

[dueling-jesters]

What are your thoughts on women romanticising or fetishising gay men via shipping. And when you draw the line when this happened. (Sorry for bad english)

Anyone who's been following me since I started this blog knows that I'm personally annoyed with the fetishization of gay people that has run rampant in fandom spaces for decades. Shipping on its own is completely fine, but I think it becomes something of an issue when people use it to implement harmful stereotypes or to hurt someone directly.

One way I often see is when some people will take two male characters and change their appearance and personalities to project heteropatriarchal standards upon them, essentially turning them into a stand-in for an abusive straight couple. This is, of course, an extreme example.

One related form of it is,via headcanon, the association of body type, personalities, and sexual positions (i.e., making the shorter or curvier male character more feminine, weak, and submissive). This oftentimes overlaps with fandom racism (making a darker-skinned character aggressive and abusive) and transphobia (people who have a trend of making all of their transmasculine-headcanoned characters soft, submissive bottoms exclusively paired with cis-male-headcanoned characters).

One of the most obvious indicators of someone doing this is if they are obsessed over whoever is the top and who is the bottom in a way that's one step from asking "But who really is the guy and who's the girl in the relationship?". This becomes incredibly apparent when a multishipper exclusively headcanons submissive/feminine bottoms and dominant/masculine tops, devoid of any variety or versatility. It's a telltale sign that someone may not care what gay people are actually like in reality.

This doesn't necessarily mean that top and bottom headcanons are inherently fetishizing, but rather, when there is an amalgamation of it being a fandom member's main priority in shipping alongside reinforcing heteronormative stereotypes.

I personally think it's fine for someone to be primarily focused on shipping characters in fandom. It's extremely common for lgbt+ fans to project their experiences onto characters or to otherwise feel connected to them through shipping-even if they're of a different gender/ orientation. (Cisgender, heterosexual fans can be avid shippers as well without harming gay people!) A fan lusting over a character and shipping through projection is not inherently problematic, either. Perhaps my stance is biased as I am guilty of both. There could be a grey area or situations that may seem suspicious if taken out of context.

The perpetrators of fetishization are not exclusively women, nor should they be blamed for it as a whole. Just as some gay people are homophobic, and some trans people are transphobic, there are occasionally members of our community who treat gayness and/or transness as an "othering" quality- whether they separate themselves from the rest of us in doing so, or if it's a form of internalized bigotry.

There are, of course, plenty of cisgender, heterosexual men who display a similar, dehumanizing attitude towards lesbians and bisexual women - whether through media or in-person. In its entirety, this is not a fandom-exclusive phenomenon.

Fetishizing behavior has been weaponized in harassment and abuse towards gay people. Essentially, the preconceived bigotries and assumptions one may have fuel harmful stereotypes cast upon fictional characters, which in turn reinforce one's beliefs and can result in one holding the same assumptions about actual people. I won't go into much detail, but I have personally experienced and witnessed sexual harassment from self-proclaimed allies and fellow members of the lgbt community due to fanfiction-influenced mindsets.

In many aspects, I think the fetishization of gay men in fandom runs parallel to the patriarchal gaze prevalent in similar spaces - although it can absolutely converge at times. It can definitely make someone who would otherwise participate as a fan, or even as a shipper, feel alienated.

[bisexualpositivity]

I'm a teen, and I've only had crushes on guys before but recently I think I might have started crushing a little on my online friend, who is a trans girl. I'm sort of panicking about all this, the feelings as well as the real tangible possibility that I'm bi. I'm also worried I possibly, subconsciously see her as a guy, and that that's why I'm crushing on her. do online crushes even count? it's so confusing for me right now

Hey--I want to reassure you that you're not the only one wrestling with these thoughts, feelings and questions. One of the more wholesome stories on reddit tackles a similar issue, I'll link it here for you to read.

As someone who's genderqueer and on the aroace spectrum, I think I'm pretty qualified to say that attraction can be murky sometimes. I've met people who are initially attracted to a stranger, and then lose some or all of that attraction when they find out said stranger isn't one of the genders they'd be interested in dating. I've talked with people who thought they were 100% attracted to only one gender and then met someone of a different gender who completely changed the way they view their orientation. Hell, I know people whose preferences transcend labels entirely.

I also want to point out that there's a difference between finding traits we associate with masculinity (muscles, facial hair, lower pitched voices, etc.) or femininity (curves, long hair, higher pitched voices, etc.) attractive VS finding men or women attractive. A straight man might find himself admiring the elegance of the way a masculine-presenting individual walks, a straight woman might find a butch lesbian's biceps extremely attractive, vice versa for anyone of any sexuality that is more likely to exclude one or more genders. That doesn't invalidate the way they personally identify.

What I'm trying to say is, navigating the world of online crushes as a teen is difficult enough without the added pressure put on questioning people AND a young cis ally's concerns about navigating the transphobia and cissexism they've internalized.

While it's possible that some part of you does think of your friend as a guy, it's clear to me from your language that you're making a conscious effort to respect her identity and encourage others to do the same, and honestly? That matters more than any subconscious biases you might have.

So let me give you a reminder to help stave off those mean little wormy thoughts: you're not hurting anyone by trying to untangle your own identity--and any stereotypes you've been taught about "what makes someone a man/woman"--up in your head, or by reaching out for help and advice.

(I hope this doesn't sound condescending, but I'm genuinely proud of you for putting yourself out there and actively doing the work to make sure you're being kind to others. Please feel free to drop an ask in our inbox anytime 💜)

[fleurdelily]

# MY DIABOLIK LOVERS HEADCANONS ! lgbtq+ edition

⊹ characters : shu, reiji, ayato, laito, kanato, subaru, yui

⊹ warnings : suggestive content

⊹ note : these are my headcanons and my way of looking at things, if you don't agree that's totally ok !! feel free to put your opinions in comments

⊹ ˖ ﾟ. SHU SAKAMAKI

you can’t tell me that this man isn’t bisexual. he clearly has a bisexual energy, everyone can agree.

i feel that he’s more into big girls and big guys ( yes i’m talking about yuuma ). he just loves it.

we all know that he likes to look at the girls who pass in front of him, but once he looked at a man and he was like "damn."

i don't think he has a particular preference between men and women. he loves both equally, romantically and sexually.

for his gender i think he's cisgender man, but he doesn't care what you call him or what you use for his pronouns. he, she, they, xem, use whatever you want, just don't disturb him while he listens to his music.

⊹ ˖ ﾟ. REIJI SAKAMAKI

the first time i saw reiji, i said to myself " this man is a homosexual " and was i wrong ? i don’t think so.

i couldn't really explain why, it's just an energy that comes out of him.

because of his father, he has always imagined himself ending his life with a woman that his father chose for him to continue the lineage, even if he is not attracted to her. ( denial is a river in egypt, your husband is gay ! )

i don't have the impression that he is really attracted to women ? of course he finds women attractive, beautiful especially in corsets, but it’s a purely aesthetic attraction.

i think reiji’s type would be a person like Ruki. He has good manners, intelligent, strategic, sadistic, a handsome and charming man with a bratty temperament.

for his gender i would say cisgender or demiboy.

he/they pronouns for sure.

⊹ ˖ ﾟ. AYATO SAKAMAKI

i like to say that ayato is the definition of a cisgender heterosexual male, but actually i think he is bisexual.

he has a preference for women, but he can't stop looking at men.

every time he finds himself looking at a man's tits for a second too long, he turns his head sharply and acts as if nothing had happened. ( *cough* yuuma *cough* )

to come back to his gender, i think he is cisgender man. but i had seen once the headcanon of someone who said he was a trans man ( ftm ) and i really like this headcanon !

⊹ ˖ ﾟ. KANATO SAKAMAKI

for me he’s unlabeled ,kanato is attracted by pretty people, feminine, with delicate features, who look like dolls ,preferably smaller than him ( he’s insecure by their height do not judge them )

gender doesn't really matter to them.

for his gender, they’re non-binary ( or maybe genderfluid ) kanato has never really fit into the male gender stereotypes, either by his personal interests or by his physique. ( they uses he/they pronouns )

compared to his brothers, they’re short, slim, feminine face with big eyes, not very "masculine" looking. he doesn't give a damn, he wears what he likes and identifies himself as he wants, if people don't agree with him, then die.

⊹ ˖ ﾟ. LAITO SAKAMAKI

pansexual man. i will not say more. ( jk )

the gender or sex of the person does not matter to him, he sleeps with everyone, kisses everyone and flirts with everyone.

but i like to think that laito is asexual.

cisgender man, but he likes to see himself more like a concept or a disaster ( twins 🤞🏻)

uses any pronouns.

⊹ ˖ ﾟ. SUBARU SAKAMAKI

at first i would have said cisgender heterosexual man

he is mainly attracted to women, but sometimes he can't help but wonder about men.

when he sees a pretty boy, he starts to question his sexuality ( *cough* kou *cough* )

for his gender i would say a classic cisgender man with he/him pronouns

but subaru is the biggest ally ever. he will never tell his brothers but he will always defend their sexuality and gender.

⊹ ˖ ﾟ. YUI KOMORI

and the best for last !

she gives me mainly bisexual cis girl vibes.

for me, she’s the kind of person who finds women more easily pretty than boys, or just says to herself when a pretty girl passes by " oh ! she is very pretty"

i think she doesn't realize her attraction to women. for her, it's not a romantic or sexual attraction. she’s in denial because of the environment she grew up in.

she’s like " do i want to be like her or do i want to be with her ? "

sometimes she wonders why her heart was beating so fast when her classmate gave her such a soft smile. but she tries not to wonder too much.

but i like to think that she’s a lesbian 😞 ( i just want her to go away from the diaboys and get married to a woman please )

[spacelazarwolf]

so much discourse about trans men and mascs being silenced by other queer and trans people can be explained by the fact the majority of the queer community’s understanding of ra/df/em rhetoric is “trans woman bad.” this makes it incredibly easy for cryptoter/fs to infiltrate otherwise te/rf-free spaces and spread ra/df/em rhetoric in order to radicalize people who are teetering between intersectional feminism and radical feminism.

if a te/rf just goes up to them and says “trans men are mentally ill women who are just transitioning to try to gain male privilege” most people in anti-te/rf spaces will recognize that as garbage. however if a cryptote/rf says “transandrophobia truthers all seem to be autistic and their black and white thinking leads them to come to the wrong conclusions about their own oppression. they’re not oppressed because they’re men, they’re oppressed because they’re female seen as women by society. but also they look male and males men are oppressive so maybe they shouldn’t be speaking over bio women cis women. and also i guess trans women and femmes, because i know how important those are to you guys.”

ra/df/ems know how to sniff out people who have been victimized by the patriarchy and how to slowly convince them that intersectional feminism is “not enough”, that radical feminism is the only way they can be safe. they prey on white women — cis and trans — in particular because they know they’ll be more susceptible to the idea that sex gender based oppression is the primary system of oppression and all others just play off of it.

this is why it’s so important to them to convince people that trans men and mascs have systemic privilege over even cis women, because framing it through a lens that only takes into account the gender binary opens a door to silencing trans men and mascs who have a unique perspective on how the patriarchy functions. and many of us know very well that te/rfs and ra/df/ems actually rely on the patriarchy to bolster their ideology.

i’ve seen people who are staunchly pro-trans fully regurgitate te/rf rhetoric because they heard it from someone they thought was an ally but turned out to be a cryptote/rf or a ra/df/em troll account pretending to be a trans woman. that’s why it is so important to actually understand what ra/df/em ideology actually looks like in its entirety, because if you only understand the surface level, you’ll only be able to identify the surface level.

it’s similar with antisemitic conspiracy theories. if you’re only looking for “jews bad” you won’t see antisemitism when you read about a “cabal of lizard people who run the banks and control the world group of elites who control all the money and global power and just happen to be jewish what a coincidence maybe we should talk about that.”

so yeah. it is more important than ever now that places like the us are seeing rises in fascism among conservatives (who ra/df/ems continue to ally themselves with) to recognize this rhetoric and condemn it as soon as you see it, because it’s costing trans men and mascs our health, our livelihoods, and our lives.

[sirenium]

Time to obsessively talk in depth about my Sonic head-canons, because I literally cannot stop thinking about them. This is likely to be a long post, so I'll spare you all by putting everything under the cut so you aren't forcibly subjected to the wall of text💀

Also sorry for the sudden increase in Sonic related content, it's just that my hyperfixation is slowly coming back lmao

⚠️these are mostly queer identity centered, so if you're not into queer headcanons you've been warned⚠️

Sonic: arospec, bisexual, trans man, he/him. Stealth. Is only out to Tails. Actively fights for trans rights, just doesn't feel comfortable sharing his identity with most people. Hides his negative emotions because he feels as though he has to be a source of positivity 24/7. Probably cries himself to sleep sometimes, the poor guy. In a QPR (queer platonic relationship) with Shadow.

Tails: (I don't feel comfortable labeling the sexuality of a literal ten year old lmao/lh), transmasc, he/they. Looks up to Sonic, literally aims to be exactly like him: he's the only other trans person he knows (who's out to him, at least), and he's cool asf. Admires his bravery. Tails sees Sonic as an older brother figure, and Sonic sees him as a little brother. They've got the ultimate brotherly bond, which also means they argue over the dumbest shit lol.

Knuckles: panromantic, pansexual, transfemme, he/him. Masc presenting, gives off egg vibes (not because he's masc presenting and uses he/him, but because he's hella clueless about trans people). Isn't out to ANYONE, not even himself.💀

Amy: heteroromantic, heterosexual, cisgender, she/they. MASSIVE ally, one of those friends who gives their gay friends rainbow pride merch(/pos).

Shadow: panromantic, asexual, non-binary, all pronouns including it/its, slight preference for he/him. Doesn't give a fuck about gender; they think it's irrelevant to who they are. Though he has pronoun preferences, if someone referred to it using pronouns other than he/him, he would literally not care.

Rouge: greyromantic biromantic, lesbian, cisgender, she/her. Secret mom friend vibes. Has the scariest 'you fucked up' glare known to man(/hj). Takes no shit.

Omega: bro is unlabeled, literally just vibing. Pronouns? Nah bruh (use he/him). A GOD at baking, doesn't brag about it. Can't cook for shit otherwise, literally almost blew up the kitchen somehow (how he knows how to operate an oven but not any other cooking device is beyond me, he just gives off those vibes lmao).

Less detailed HCs:

[plaintext: less detailed HCs end pt]

Espio: biromantic, acespec bisexual, cis, he/they.

Vector: aroacespec, cis, he/him.

Charmy: transmasc, he/him

Silver: panromantic, gay, cis, he/they

Blaze: lesbian, asexual, cis, she/her

Big The Cat: aroacespec, gay otherwise, cis, he/him

Time for the villains I've thought about:

[plain text: time for the villains I've thought about end pt]

⚠️trigger warning for Infinite, mentions of death and other potentially triggering themes (they're kind of heavy but nothing too serious)⚠️

Eggman: aromantic, gay, cis, he/him. Surprisingly supportive of trans people... as in he just doesn't care enough to not be.

Infinite: biromantic, bisexual, cis, he/him. Bro's in denial: he thinks all 'straight' guys have the occasional crush on other guys. Doesn't even know about the label 'bi' so he just thinks someone can either be straight or gay, and since he DOES like women he's convinced his attraction to men is either not real or unimportant. Definitely cries himself to sleep, and has nightmares about the death of his squad. Secretly blames himself for everything, has extreme self esteem issues but hides them by inflating his self worth. His life SUCKS; he's lost everyone who was important to him, just when he thought he couldn't lose anyone/anything else. He's also very prideful despite having low self esteem, and those two things mixed together give him an extremely fragile ego that's easily shattered. He genuinely hates his face, because as far as he's concerned that is the face of someone who's failed everybody, including himself. A 'pathetic' face. Would literally start having a panic attack if his mask were to come off for whatever reason. (Jesus this one got depressing, but I just put a lot of thought into his character because I feel like he has a lot of potential as a character that wasn't explored. Literally just 'lol he had a temper tantrum because he got beaten up and called weak' and that's all the backstory he gets? Nahh💀. I could make a whole post going into the backstory I made for him lmao)

Uh so yeah those are my headcanons–

I know I missed characters but these are the ones I've really thought about/remembered. If someone reblogs this, it'd be cool to see their own headcanons (you can also just comment them or like, message me or whatever/lh /nf)