#but the ship used to be a little bit more niche

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[bloodykora]

Thonking hard about Buggy and long haired Buggy especially. Like I don’t mind the stylistic choice in the LA but maaaaan, maaaaaaaan. There’s the obvious stuff like playing with his long hair and braiding it but my mind keeps going back to Head!Buggy and you and it’s just a bit of time to kill before you get anywhere and you were honestly just supposed to watch him so he doesn’t get snatched up by a seagull and something and you both agree this doesn’t mean ANYTHING (he’s gonna develop a soft spot for you and ONLY you out of all the straw hats immediatly), but it’s so damn boring out here and you have some hairties you found somewhere and just… You using Buggy’s head like a hairstyling toy and just braiding it for him or putting it into little buns, clipping it out of his face so it doesn’t get into his eyes etc.

Sanji passes you once and is about to say something but Buggy just gives him a glare that’s all „Got something funny to say punk?“ and he just shakes his head and moves on.

(You forget one tie in there before he reuinites with his body. A simple little thing with two skull beads. He initially keeps it because he actually feels it suites his style but he developes a fondness for this little thing in particular that he doesn’t allow himself to think about for to long)

This is so much longer then I thought it would be so I'm putting it under read more but like yes.

- No cause I absolutely agree, love his long gorgeous hair. I like to think his hair isn’t thin either, its a good mix of thickness but not to the point of curly. He’s got the nice ‘wave’ going. Did you know that in his hat, there are small braids in the hair coming out of it in the LA.

- It didn’t take long for Buggy to start complaining about the heat and it didn’t take you long to get fed up with his complaints

- You kept looking at how his blue hair kept draping over the side of the barrel he was on, and how his bandana has not moved a inch since he was taken out of the bag on the ship

- "Let me do your hair." "No." "Let’s continue then to sit in almost complete silence, would you like to play cards? Oh, wait. You have no hands. What about I Spy? I spy something blue."

- Just making fun of the his situation until he caves in to let you, he says to stop your whining but in reality he could really use the scalp massage

- Putting a crate behind the barrel or something so you can sit and do it. It’s softer than you had thought it would be, and you could see small braids near his bottom layers.

- "Did you do these?" "Huh? I can’t really see the back of my head, you gotta be more descriptive." Holding one of them out for him to see. "Oh yeah, adds a nice touch to the hat when I’m performing!"

- The shed though, his hair would shed so much. You’d be pulling blue hair strands out of your clothes for the rest of time. And they’d get everywhere on the ship too.

- You could hear him sigh in relief when you first start brushing through it, and you felt relieved knowing those knots have been eradicated.

- First thing you do is just a little bun so his neck could get some fresh air for once and then it evolves into the craziness.

- Buns, pigtails, high and low ponys, 1 braid, 2 braids, fishtails, french, dutch, braiding 2 pieces and then wrapping it around his forehead like a crown. Favourite would be doing 2 french braids at the top of his head til it's the bottom and then putting the hair tie there so it becomes a fancy low pigtail.

- "I can't believe how pretty you are with your hair, not very fair to the rest of us good sir." You joke out, meaning it though. "I've always been pretty!" You snort at his reply not knowing how warm his face had started feeling.

- Every pirate has a niche collection, yours? Your hair pin collection. To die for. You have been collecting hair clips and such for this exact occasion. Butterflies, wooden, yellow, purple, bobby pins, bows, ribbons, flowers. The whole works.

- Buggy even thinks about asking you to join his crew just for your hair decoration skills.

- One time you even trim his dead ends for him, and some of his front pieces to frame his face more.

- He got so used to it that if you didn’t approach him with a brush in hand first thing in the morning that he would start asking for you saying how he needed his royal brushing. (He’s totally not worried at all sometimes when you take too long, ha that would be. Ahem.)

- Sometimes he’d even doze off, but would swear he was just resting his eyes.

- A few times someone would stop to glance at you two but never intervene, except Luffy. He was always in awe. Sanji had voiced his concerns for you but never says anything in front of Buggy, you could never see but the two men were death staring each other every time they passed.

- Word spreads through the crew and even though none of them had long enough hair to do or in Usopp’s case, has been doing it himself this whole time. They do come to ask for little clips here and there, Luffy wanting one for the string on his hat so he has something to fidget with, (Nami wanting some to wear with her different outfits later on), Usopp wondering where you got heart ones so he could get one for Kaya, even Zoro wondering if you had one he could wear for Kuina’s memory on special occasions.

-You knew you were nearing Coco village, you had overheard Buggy talking to Usopp about it. How they should be there within the day. You settle for a low bun that curls up right beneath his cap.

- "No beads today?" "Well there is some on the tie but you can’t see it, I was thinking that it would be a more relaxed day. I got some stuff to do around the ship."

- Everyone is so caught up in Nami that by the time things have cooled down you realize he’s gone, no more blue hair to twirl around your fingers.

- The clown realizes too, fiddling with the tie in his hands. Burying the longing deep down, hoping he never sees you again but praying he might get a glance of you once more. He takes it out if he knows he’s about to raid somewhere to avoid breaking it.

- Tears apart his quarters if he misplaces it, someone has almost lost a hand because it fell off a table. 

[iwanthermidnightz]

Ahhh did you see the new rolling stone gaylor article ?? I'm so impressed.

When Taylor Swift released the long-awaited rerecording of her genre-leaping album 1989, fans eagerly pored over vault tracks, theories of double albums, and limited edition vinyl releases that could predict Swift’s next re-record. But for Gaylors, a dedicated Swift fanbase that’s existed for over a decade, Swift’s prologue and a mention of her feelings surrounding speculation about her love life have dampened what should have been an exciting release.

Thinking about the 24-year-old she was when 1989 was released, Swift writes, “I swore off dating and decided to only focus on myself, my music, my growth, and my female friendships. If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn’t sensationalize or sexualize that — right? I would learn later on that people could and people would.” Many users online interpreted that line as a subtle callout to Gaylors, supporters of the niche theory that Swift is queer or leaves queer messaging in her songs. But several members of the Gaylor community tell Rolling Stone they’re actually not convinced the callout is about them — and are receiving targeted and homophobic harassment in the process.

For those not extremely online, Gaylor is an unproven theory that Swift is queer and leaves messages alluding to past relationships in her work, a fan theory that originated on the blogging site Tumblr in the mid-2010s. It is also the fan name for groups of people who believe there are queer interpretations of Swift’s songs. (While Swift has been a vocal ally and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and representation, she has never publicly commented on Gaylor and has only been in public relationships with men.) Gabriela, a 27-year-old Gaylor, tells Rolling Stone she doesn’t believe Swift’s prologue is about the Gaylor fandom specifically, but she’s frustrated at the use of the word ‘sexualize,” which she says has long been co-opted by fans who think Gaylor is harmful or inherently rude.

“I think it’s a call-out yes, but more to the media at large, rather than just about the Gaylor subset of her fandom, which is only a small piece of her complaint. [Swift] doesn’t want to be assumed to be in a sexual, romantic relationship with anyone she is seen next to,” Gabriela says. “Hetlors [those who object to the Gaylor discourse] are cherry-picking to make it about her ‘shutting down gay rumors.’”

As an internationally beloved artist — one capable of selling more movie tickets than Martin Scorcese and convincing an entire fandom to rebuy her music her way — Swift professes an unusually close relationship with her followers. The lyricist often hides clues in her work and visuals, encouraging fans to decipher what coded messages and hints she’s leaving behind. But Swift has also verbalized how upset slut-shaming and assumptions about her love life make her. Anna, a 23-year-old Gaylor who uses they/them pronouns, agrees that the prologue wasn’t about Gaylor specifically but says they do think all Swift fans online could operate with more boundaries.

“Of course, I’m a little annoyed that people are pulling one or two lines of the prologue out of context and using it as a justification to be homophobic and send death threats to my friends, but I don’t think Taylor is at fault for people misconstruing her words and I think she has every right to call out things that make her uncomfortable,” Anna tells Rolling Stone. “’Shipping’ culture across the fandom seems to have gotten really ugly recently on all accounts. I’ve seen people speculate on her sex life, openly and graphically, track her location, insinuate that she wants/has children and just overall cross a lot of boundaries. It may be unpopular for me to say it, but I do think members on all sides needed to be put in their place a little bit.”

All of the Gaylor fans who spoke to Rolling Stone expressed that beyond the prologue, much of the reaction to them as a group has stemmed from a lack of understanding about why the fandom exists and has lasted for almost a decade. Liv, 26, says that the Gaylor community has been a large part of her life — it’s even how she met her current boyfriend. And she tells Rolling Stone the identity has allowed her to have a deeper understanding of Swift’s lyrics.

“It’s always fun for me to think about what inspired a song. So even if it’s not what happened in Taylor’s life, it’s interesting for me to think about a song through a queer lens, because I feel like it adds a lot of layers that a song about a guy might not have,” Liv says. “And I don’t really know any straight people who are that deeply obsessed with Emily Dickinson.”

The X account @gaylornews has over 12,000 followers. The admin behind the account declined to include her name but tells Rolling Stone Gaylor isn’t just a fun internet conspiracy theory, but means a lot to the community.

“Analyzing her lyrics through a queer perspective is more about defying heteronormative narratives and finding representation and not about invading Taylor’s privacy or sensationalizing her personal life,” the account owner says. “Gaylor is about queer people finding a safe space which straight people not only find but already have everywhere, is about all the things you never learned about yourself, is about feeling seen and genuinely understood.”

Regardless of what people think the prologue is about, Gaylors are worried about one thing: targeted harassment from more mainstream fans of Swift. In an April 2023 report from social media tracking firm Graphika, researchers found that Gaylors made up nine percent of active Swift fans on social media, but are often exiled and isolated from neutral fan spaces. The study also found that anti-Gaylor accounts, also referred to as Hetlors, “play a key role” in how the theory is presented to mainstream audiences and often misrepresent commonly held Gaylor beliefs, which can lead to the harassment and doxxing of neutral Gaylor accounts. Each of the Gaylors who spoke to Rolling Stone detailed targeted harassment, hate speech, and homophobia they’ve received online, something they all believe Swift would stand against.

“I think that people who are against Gaylors think we’re way more serious about it than we are. A lot of the things we say are jokes or ideas or possible theories,” Liv says. “And at the end of the day, none of us know what the truth is about her personal relationships. And we shouldn’t want to because [Taylor Swift] is entitled to her privacy.”

(link)

[saintsenara]

Hey!

My main takeaway from your unhinged ships series - which provides me with limitless entertainment btw so thank you for your service - is how intricate your knowledge of the HP series is!

I'm kind of in a weird limbo rn where I have a great love for this world and the series but JKR's behaviour in recent years has completely turned me off the whole thing. I've been too disheartened to engage with the canon material in any real sense for years, but your exploration of it is kind of rekindling my interest. Do you have any thoughts on this?

Also, is HP like your niche or do you possess an encyclopaedic knowledge on any other works of literature or pop culture phenomena? This is just pure curiosity on my end.

thank you very much for this anon! it's extremely sweet.

how to reconcile being a part of this fandom - and, especially, how to be in a corner of the fandom which places more emphasis on the text than others - with jkr's decision to become a bigot is a question i'm sure we've all spent a lot of time on, and it's one which is going to have an inherently subjective answer.

my personal view is that she'll never get another penny out of me - i'm persevering with my original copies of the books, judiciously sellotaped; i won't engage at all with the upcoming television adaptation; i've not seen the fantastic beasts films; i wouldn't go and see cursed child; i wouldn't play hogwarts legacy; i don't buy merch and so on - but that writing my little stories and yapping away on my little tumblr is fine, because it's an engagement with the series which, no matter how much it focuses on the text she wrote, is still mine rather than hers.

but - of course - there are entirely reasonable arguments against this position, in either direction. someone who does engage more with jkr's post-radicalisation output could justifiably say that - since i've written stories involving delphini, who only exists because of cursed child, the fact that i've never seen or read the play is irrelevant and my insistence that there's a meaningful distinction between enjoying the expanded world of the series and enjoying the expanded world of the series in a way jkr materially benefits from is performative nonsense. someone else could justifiably say that jkr benefits [directly and indirectly] from all fandom engagement, even if that fandom engagement is critical of her and even if it doesn't financially support her - the upcoming television adaptation, for example, wouldn't have been greenlit if hbo didn't think it would get an audience, and the continued vitality of the harry potter fandom undoubtedly contributed to their belief that it would.

neither of these arguments are wrong - although neither is objectively correct either. each of us has to form a subjective opinion, be ok with it, and be open to changing it as time passes.

and i do genuinely think that engaging with the text as a text - something else i bang on about all the time - is helpful when it comes to reconciling everything.

i know it sounds very pretentious [and i also suspect that many people think the series isn't "well-written" enough to justify such pretension...] to say that the fandom needs to get better at embracing a variety of methods of reading the text and understanding the author's relationship to it.

this isn't me saying that anyone who wants to get into fandom needs to be able to rattle of the names of literary theorists, or be able to give an answer to "the series is historiographic metafiction: discuss".

[although if anyone would like to try and argue in favour of that proposition... i'd shriek.]

what it is is me saying that the dominant way of reading the text in the fandom - which is to focus on the reader's emotional response [and, above all, the reader's emotional response in childhood] - can end up giving jkr quite a bit more authority in how we engage with the series than she deserves. it's why many of us might say that we feel she's "betrayed" or "taken something away from" us, for example - and it's why many of us might feel that she's forced us into approaching the series in ways which decentre the canon material.

and this is - obviously - a completely legitimate way of engaging and responding. but there's also a lot to be gained from thinking outside of our emotional responses about things like the genre conventions which govern the series, the tropes and archetypes it uses, its language and syntax, its existence as something standalone, the other works of literature which influence it, and the social and historical context in which it was written. treating the series as "just" some books reduces jkr's authority over our response to it - and while the argument that this doesn't mean anything in the real world, since all she's going to care about is that people are reading her stuff, is an inherently reasonable one, i do think it has real-world benefits to us in how we square the circle of enjoying the text.

more controversially, though, i think it's also worth thinking about the personal context in which the series was written.

for me, the author is dead based on whether or not i need her to be. i don't think that the only valid interpretation of a text is the author's intended one, and i don't think that the only valid interpretation of a text is one dependent on matching parts of the story onto the author's biography. but i do think it's important for readers to know both what jkr understands the text as saying and what has happened in her life that bleeds through into it [such as the way her difficult relationship with her father and her experience of her mother's terminal illness undeniably influences the series' prioritisation of sacrifical motherhood and certain coolness towards fathers]. this doesn't mean agreeing with - or even empathising with - her by any means, it's just another tool in our arsenal when it comes to thinking of the series as no more or less special than any other piece of literature, and jkr no more or less important to our interpretation of it than any other author.

and i think it's worth saying that she doesn't seem to be someone who's bothered when fans say that she doesn't understand her own text or that she's lost the right to speak about it or that the fandom has taken it back from her - which is also why when people say that non-canon shipping [especially of queer pairings] must piss her off i think it's just cope - because she can spin that as these people being childish and unwilling to face reality.

but she does seem to be bothered by people who say "yeah, i know that's what you think and i know that's what you intended... but i disagree and you don't have the right to dictate otherwise".

[this is why - i think - she gets so frothingly pissed-off by daniel radcliffe's immaculate stance against her anti-trans bigotry. he's always very firm in saying "she can think what she wants, but - firstly - this isn't about what she thinks privately, it's about what she does publicly and - secondly - i think she's completely wrong and i'm not going to change my mind just because she wants me to", and she obviously doesn't like the fact that this is much harder to spin into the narrative that she's being "oppressed" and "victimised" than she'd like...]

the text is just a text, and she's just one woman, but our ways of reading are infinite and important and ours. the new horizon in literary theory is "fuck her, we ball".

[when it comes to "do i have a good memory?" the answer is "yes, but for purely useless information". when the question is whether that good memory relates to other pieces of pop culture, i'm either very lucky or very unlucky - depending on where you stand on such things - that the fandoms for hit millennial sitcoms don't seem to be large... otherwise i'd clearly be spending all my time writing epic nick/schmidt or liz lemon/jenna maroney romances and/or being cancelled for being in george michael/maeby nation...]

[carionto]

What if we just hollowed it out?

Progress on the Dyson Ring was unbearably slow (by Human standards) and Captain Knoslark and some of his crew were busying themselves with a twice-a-week extended D&D session. He was banned from GMing after trying to introduce the Deck of Many Things, so relegated himself to a Wild Sorcerer Drow build. When it was not his turn during combat, he would make sure when his turn did come up, the holographic projections he programmed would show off his descriptions of his magics in the most spectacular fashion. He was irritatingly good at the visuals, and nobody wanted to praise him outright for fear his ego might explode, but it did pass the time well enough.

The construction efforts have become so routine and uneventful that the only people who had anything stimulating to do on the clock were the observation officers. Even then, it was just ships going in and out of the system, sometimes big groups of civilian craft would bunch together in the Oort cloud for a race, other times an alien diplomatic vessel and escort would jump in for a visit or to drop off a person who had "made a mess on a vessel not outfitted to handle Human strength", which typically meant somebody forgot alien doors don't have a manual override and broke it by opening it by hand without much trouble. Most exciting was when a new Dreadnought or other large military ship was constructed and it set out on its first voyage outside the shipyards around Earth.

Of course, their main job was monitoring celestial objects and make sure any wandering meteors or debris weren't on a collision course with anything important, and if there was one, tell the nearest patrol ships and they would go out and redirect or destroy it.

Today, Officer Xiang spotted something a bit bigger. A rogue planet! Trajectory analysis indicates it will pass into the Oort cloud in two years and pass through Sol over the next forty three, only once coming relatively close to Mars, but not enough to influence its orbit. It was, however, big enough that they could complete a significant portion of the Dyson Ring. Big enough that, in theory, it would then be able to output enough power at once to power the planetary Warp Gate for anything up to the size of the Moon.

Unfortunately, deeper scans showed it once had living organisms on it, and was thus protected under intergalactic preservation laws: "The surface of any rogue planet that once housed life shall remain untouched, and the planet shall be marked as a historical landmark and scientific object for study purposes only."

To this, Captain Knoslark inquired: "Hmm... but what about below the surface? It's just cold rock at this point, right? What if we find a natural crevice and just dig a little further? For Science!"

As a junior officer and there being almost no people who are experts on such niche intergalactic laws yet, Xiang and the others couldn't find a reason why this wouldn't work, but it felt... off.

"Just think, it'll be fine - we'll reinforce some of the ore and create a porous interior, preserving the structural integrity of the planet as a whole and keeping the surface as is. AND we get about 85% of a whole planet to further our progress - that's a whole 17 moons worth! And and it would be within our jurisdiction during the time. It's a win-neutral as far as I can see."

That sounded like logic. Maybe? Either way, we would have to talk to the higher ups about this plan. Even if anybody wanted to, hollowing out a planet is not a thing you can do in secret. You need, well, literally a planet's worth of ships, equipment, and crew to do something like that within just over four decades, and we want to get it done in less than one.

No matter our advancements, dedication, willpower, grit, force, or cunning, the two foes Humanity cannot defeat, but must always accept and handle properly - logistics and the accompanying bureaucracy. Still, it would be nice if we didn't have to use up more of our moons so quickly for one project.

[littleshopofhorrors-confessions]

i'm actually baffled that lsoh has entire shipping politics and kin discourse it's like every high schooler got their hands on it and thought "ah yes this is our holy grail" like for some media i get but little shop??? this is your new homestuck???

also don't think it goes unnoticed how little appreciation audrey gets and GOD FORBID anyone think about crystal ronette and chiffon for more than 2 seconds... it's real quiet in those corners of the fandom. but okay let's yaoiship all the men with each other

I really wish this submission had just stuck to saying that the girls deserve more attention. I love Audrey and the Urchins, but I also understand that a lot of us are mostly just here because the combination of lab coats, leather jackets, and unhinged laughter give us gender euphoria. And I think that's okay.

Also it just seems to me like this person wants teenagers out of fandom spaces, which… i got bad news for you buddy, it’s mostly teenagers, and you can’t just keep kids from consuming media. I'm just gonna ignore that bit about Homestuck because it makes no sense. Despite a recent uptick, this fandom is still pretty small.

You can’t enter a niche fandom on tumblr, ask why everyone is talking about the media that the fandom is about, complain about queer teenagers being there, on tumblr, and then complain about them liking the campy villain and making gay ships. Go on twitter, go on tiktok, go on instagram. For the love of god if you don’t like seeing teenagers enjoy fandom and draw men kissing go ANYWHERE EXCEPT TUMBLR

[deepspacedukat]

The New Girl

I know it's been a while since I teased this one, but ooh boy, this was so fun to write! I haven't written about sexy space lizards in a while, so I hope everyone enjoys this niche lizard mans! Also, plz consider this an apology for being gone so much recently! I love you all! 💖

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Boheeka (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Interspecies sex, Cardassian/Human sex, allusions to sex work, cock warming, mentions of lingerie, neck kisses, fingering, dirty talk, public teasing, risk of being caught.

~*~

The usual hustle and bustle greeted me when I arrived at Quark’s for my shift at the Dabo table. A Cardassian ship had docked earlier for repairs, so the place was positively swarming with officers who were desperately in need of a little recreation.

I'd barely clocked in and stepped out onto the floor to start working when Quark’s hand landed gently on my shoulder. With a little wink, he gestured for me to turn around, and I found myself face-to-face with one of the new arrivals. Outside of the occasional ship, we didn’t get many Cardassian customers. I'd heard that before the Occupation ended, Cardassian officers were about all anyone ever saw, but this was the first I'd had the opportunity to interact with. Despite my lack of experience with their species, I'd observed them with the other Dabo girls, and this one seemed different...more jovial, somehow.

“Hartla doesn’t work here anymore, but this is one of my new girls. I think you’ll find her equally...riveting,” Quark said, and I flashed the Cardassian a warm smile. “Boheeka is an old friend. Take especially good care of him while I set up the holosuite, my dear.”

“Oh, I will,” I answered in my most seductive voice. He was actually quite handsome, this officer. He extended his hand to me, and I took it as he skimmed his eyes down the length of my body. Grateful that I'd chosen one of my most flattering dresses, I silently preened under his gaze. If Quark wanted me to entice him to lose a little more money at the Dabo table, I’d be more than happy to do so. Whispering in this man's ear seemed like it would be an absolute pleasure.

“Well, well...If I’d known such a beauty was working at Quark’s I’d have come back to Terok Nor a long time ago,” Boheeka said as he stepped closer to me. The Cardassian tilted my chin up so he was looking into my eyes. “I’d take the time to romance you properly, if I had more time on this station. As it is, however, I only have a week here. I promise I’ll make my haste worthwhile to you.”

Oh, he’d had that sort of an arrangement with one of the previous Dabo girls! Well, this certainly wasn’t in my contract, but...he was quite handsome. I knew there were a couple of the other girls who would fulfill illicit transactions like this, but until now I never had myself. After all, if Quark didn’t want Odo catching on, he couldn’t force us to accept. My contraceptive implant would at least come in handy tonight.

“I’m certain you will. Would you like to play a little Dabo first, or would you prefer to get straight down to business?” I asked letting my free hand rest on the textured surface of his armored chestplate. He let out a little laugh and looped my arm with his as he began to lead me toward the stairs to the second floor.

“Hartla and I knew each other quite well by the time the Occupation ended. I’d like to get to know you a little bit before we go further.” Boheeka walked with me toward a table in one of the darker back corners of the second level. Taking a seat, the Cardassian smiled up at me and patted his thigh invitingly. “No need to be shy, my dear. Sit with me.”

With a smirk, I draped myself across his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. One of his hands spread across my back, steadying me atop him. I didn't need any help staying balanced, but I certainly wasn't about to complain about a handsome man touching me.

“Yes, this is much cozier, isn’t it?”

"It is, Glinn." As I spoke, his free hand slid up my thigh, nudging the lower hem of my dress higher. Just when he was reaching dangerous territory, his fingers slipped beneath the fabric and discovered the lacy material of my panties. Stopping him from looking down, I grasped his chin and kissed the tip of his nose. "How long did you pay for?"

"Three hours to start. Why?"

"Because if you can guess what color my panties are, I'll give you an extra half an hour for free on your next visit." It was a gamble, of course, given how closely Quark guarded his profits, but I'd figure something out. The dirty grin that stretched his lips sent a pulse of heat directly between my legs.

"A tempting prospect, to be sure..." Trailing off, he caressed the lace where it stretched over my hip as if he was contemplating what color would look best on me. "How many guesses do I get?"

"I'm feeling generous, so you can have three." Boheeka nodded his head while his eyes wandered down my neck.

"I'm quite familiar with how Bajoran and Orion women select their undergarments, but a Human? Never," he said leaning in and pressing a slow line of gentle kisses from my shoulder to my jaw. "Hm...what about red? The color of a species blood is often equivalent to the one that signifies their passion."

I had to give it to him, that was a more intelligent guess than I'd anticipated.

"A logical choice, but no," I murmured as he nudged the fabric aside and brushed his fingertips over my dampness. An involuntary gasp escaped me at the contact. His strong, callused digits moved in unhurried strokes, seemingly savoring the feeling of the softness between my legs. Idly, I wondered how different Bajoran women were...what differences he was noticing between me and his memories of Hartla...

"Pink." It took a moment to drag my focus away from Boheeka's much-too-skilled fingers and process what he meant. Right. Lingerie. The game.

I knew that.

"Why pink?" I asked curiously, trying to tease him with a non-answer.

"I have noticed pink garments on several members of your species," he explained. His teeth grazed lightly over my collarbone, and I was forced to stifle a whimper. "It would probably clash with your dress, but you would look sensational all wrapped in pink. Hell, even if I'm wrong, I think I might buy you some pink lacy things the week is out."

"Is that so?" I gasped as he pressed two thick fingers slowly inside me. The Glinn hummed and brushed his lips against my ear.

"But if I do, you can only wear them for me." His whispered stipulation sent a shiver down my spine, but before I could respond, he adjusted me on his lap. His fingers slipped from within me, and the ridge of his clothed erection pressed deliciously against my aching center. "Can you do that for me, beautiful?"

I nodded my head, utterly lost for words. That smug Cardassian knew it, too. He knew what he was doing to me.

"Have you already become tongued-tied?" I stammered out a protest, but he just laughed into the crook of my neck. "Oh, I am going to enjoy ruining you."

Looking to regain some semblance of control over this interaction, I tugged him into a kiss, distracting him as my own hands wandered between us. He gasped against my lips when I unfastened his uniform pants, but he made no move to stop me.

"Last guess," I whispered, and he smirked.

"Such a devious lady." Boheeka's voice came out rougher than before, low and gravelly and deliciously sexy. "Hm...if I get it wrong, do I get a consolation prize?"

Lifting an eyebrow, I couldn't resist teasing him further.

"I suppose I could...keep your poor, hard Cho'Ch warm until the holosuite is ready–"

"Then, I surrender." He'd barely waited for me to finish my sentence. Suppressing a giggle at his eagerness, I adjusted my position on his lap.

Lowering myself onto his length, I bit my lip to keep myself from making any attention-drawing sounds. It was a struggle, though. Boheeka stretched me so fully that once he was in, my eyelids fluttered closed and my knuckles went a few shades paler as I gripped his shoulders.

"Oh, you are absolutely worth the high price," he murmured, leaning in and kissing slowly down my neck as though I was a delicacy. "Quark said you didn't usually take this sort of work..."

I shook my head, grateful for the distraction he was providing.

"No, but when I saw how handsome you were, I couldn't resist."

A low, raspy laugh spilled from his lips at my flirtatious statement, and he slid one of his hands beneath the hem of my dress, palming my ass.

"You don't need to work so hard. You've already made a sale, gorgeous."

"I'm just telling you the truth," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and played with the hair on his nape. "Can't you tell? My panties are so wet that they're probably ruined, and it's all your fault."

He hummed low in his throat.

"Now, that I will happily take the blame for. Fuck, you're taking me so well..." I pulled back just far enough to connect my lips with Boheeka's, melting into him even as his length throbbed within me. Losing myself entirely in the Cardassian's kiss, I didn't even hear Quark's approaching footsteps.

"If you two want to take this somewhere more private, the holosuite is ready. I mean, if you want to risk getting caught by our resident shapeshifter, be my guests, but I'd much rather you–"

"Yes, yes, we're going. Aren't we, darling?" Boheeka asked, and I let out a dazed sound as I chased his lips. He chuckled at my enthusiasm and with a bit of subtle maneuvering, we managed to get up without making it too obvious that he'd just been buried deep within me.

To anyone else in the bar, we were just another couple walking hand-in-hand to the holosuite.

~*~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @groovyqueer @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[alwaysthefool]

Melting (like ice in whiskey) Part 2

Part 1 is here:

Tags: alcohol mention it’s chuuya so borderline alcoholism, fluff, gun mention, dazai mention

Warnings: mild cursing, reader has very anxious responses, power imbalance

“Uh, I don’t drink.” During work, at least.

“Bummer.” He smiled at you, taking a sip. “You’re can take a break, seriously.”

You smiled back a little awkwardly, bowed, and left the room. That was strange. It was still only around lunch time, so you went back to the dark office, with the blonde woman finally off her keyboard. You didn’t really think about lunch as you took that opportunity to ask her about your new boss, his favourite coffee order, anything that could help you.

“Coffee? I’ve never seen him drink anything but whiskey and wine.” She replied.

Another red haired boy, with a bandage on his nose, rolled near your desk with his rolling chair, and chimed in “I saw him drinking gin once.”

The next fifteen minutes were spent between you, Higuchi, and the red haired boy known as Tachihara in discussing Chuuya’s favourite coffee order. You settled on authentic Irish coffee, sweet coffee mixed with whiskey and cream. You worried about his liver a little, it’s not like you wanted your hot and cold tempered boss to die soon. You wanted to keep this job as long as- well, until you found a legal job.

You tried looking up authentic coffee shops that sold Irish coffee— some place niche but still well rated. The place you found was almost across the town but it’s not like you had anything better to do. On your train ride there, you thought a little more about your boss’ schedule. It started late and ended late. Technically, you were supposed to stay until he did, but getting home that late was worrisome. You were also issued a gun but chose not to take it, simply because you didn’t even want to think about having to use it.

You eventually reached the Victorian style building, standing out from the modern architecture of the surroundings, giving you a strange feeling, almost like you’d enter another world once you stepped in. The café surprisingly didn’t have any customers except one brown haired man dozing off near the window. Something about him felt familiar to you, and something in the well lit café gave you a sense of peace in absolute opposition to the darkness of the Mori building.

You didn’t realise you had just stopped in your tracks until someone held your hand. A rough bandaged hand, but soft fingers, smelling like buttercream and iodine. “My, what a beauty.” The man from before spoke. “Tell me, have we met in a past life?”

You were confused, as a red haired girl yelled across the room “Stop harassing the customers!”

You pulled your hand away, murmuring an apology, and going to the girl at the desk, whose name tag read ‘Lucy’. “Could I get an Irish Coffee to go?”

“To go? Is it for someone else?” The man leaned on the counter beside you.

“Ignore him.” The girl spoke irritatedly, leaving to make the coffee.

“Um, yeah, it’s for my boss.”

“Your boss drinks at the workplace?”

That question stressed you out. This man wasn’t just anyone. You refused to respond and took a seat near the counter, but the inquisitive man sat right beside you, not showing any intention of leaving you alone. You had lies planned out in your head but it felt like he could see right through them. Almost like he was one of the guys from the detective agency you read about in the papers.

Actually, wasn’t it somewhere in this area…?

Realisation dawned on you as your heart beat rose. The man beside you felt familiar because you recognised his coat from a newspaper article. You were in the very vicinity of the detective agency.

That was alright, it wasn’t like he’d arrest you or anything. “So, about your boss, what do you do?”

You already know what I do.

“I’m working for a shipping company.” You wanted to tell yourself to shut up, or say something smarter at least. You put your head in your hands, shutting your eyes. “Sorry, sudden headache.”

“That seems to happen to a lot of mafiosos when they talk to me.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You wished the barista would hurry your order but she seemed to be taking her sweet time. You didn’t open your eyes, wishing all of this would stop. “Look, I… I’m not a criminal, this was just the only job available.”

“I know.” He spoke kindly, putting a hand on your back. You could feel him smile and as you opened your eyes and peeked at him, he really did have a gentle expression. It was like, with him, you didn’t have to watch your back. You wondered what Chuuya would think about a person like that. “But, there’s always a way out.”

He handed you his business card. You kept it in your pocket after a glance, meeting his eyes finally, a little relaxed.

“By the way, Irish was a good choice!” He patted your back, after removing his reassuring hand from it, whispering something to the barista and going up the stairs.

Was the agency on the top of this very café? You were amazed at how you went to the worst possible place, purely by coincidence. And what did he mean, Irish was a good choice? It wasn’t like he knew exactly who your boss was, and on top of that his favourite coffee order.

After a while, Lucy finally called on you. You hurried with the payment, leaving as fast as you could without looking insane. You decided to take the taxi back, lest you ran into another Agency member on the way, and reheated the coffee at the office. There was nothing else on Chuuya’s schedule until a little later, when he had to go for an inspection.

You knocked on his door. “Come in.”

Your boss’ table was filled with papers and files, so much so that even an assistant would need an assistant to go through them. He probably did not trust you enough to let you help with them, but like a golden employee, you sure as hell would try.

“Boss, I got you coffee!” You had heard from Tachihara he liked being called ‘Boss’, and being referred to a bit casually from people working close to him.

“So that’s what you were doing.” He did not sound happy. Your heart stopped. Could he have put a spy on you and thought you were a double agent for the agency considering you went there and spoke to one of their detectives? Part of you found this to be too far fetched, but your pounding heart told you to get on your knees and beg for mercy.

With quivering lips and shaking hands, you asked “Sir?”

“I told you not to fucking call me that!” He banged his fists on his table. You tried not to show your emotions but your body betrayed you.

You bit your lip. “I’m so sorry.” If you said anything more than that, you’d start crying. Didn’t your boss tell you to scram earlier in the day? So what was this now? Why was he so fickle? Did he have anger issues?

“You can’t even bring the fucking files in, do you think you get paid for nothing?”

You simply shook your head, keeping your head down, trying your best not to cry. You were just gone for 40 minutes. Why were you being scolded on something so trivial?

“Just keep the coffee and leave.”

You couldn’t afford to do that. You had to try your best. Mustering up courage, you began “Can I help you with-“

“I said fucking go!” He yelled at you. You bowed your head, kept the coffee on a table, hoping he wouldn’t notice your shaking hands. The second you left the room, the tears fell like water from a faucet. Even if it hurt, you had to keep it in and try your best. You couldn’t cry, not here. You had to keep going on. You took a deep breath, going to the washroom to wash your face.

“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Taking a break inside the stall, you heard people outside say.

“Did you see them cry?” You realised they were talking about you.

“This one was so easy to set up.”

Set up? Why would they do that?

When you heard these laughs fade and footsteps leave the washroom, you stepped out. Who were these people and why did they put you in that situation? And by ‘this one’, did they mean they did it to other assistants too?

You got the gist of what was happening. A group of people in the mafia sabotaged all of Chuuya’s assistants to the point he’d stop wanting one, or to put a particular person in that position. They may even be spies who needed something from him. You couldn’t really go to your boss, or the boss with this outlandish theory, or even the detective you just met, considering that would be plain espionage on your part. You had to investigate that yourself, and maybe that could be your big break. You remembered their voices, at least.

You walked back to the assistant’s room, seeing the blonde woman typing again, and Tachihara goofing off with a masked mafioso. Surprisingly, things were left on your desk, a bouquet with a card congratulating Chuuya for something. “Oh yeah, a delivery guy left them at the lobby. You should deliver that to him.”

“Right.” You replied. The card was signed ‘Mackerel’, making you think it was code for someone Chuuya knew. The flowers were so fresh, even the thorns were intact, and they looked like they’d been picked with great care. Whoever ‘Mackerel’ was seemed like someone who did everything for a reason. You resisted the urge to open the card it came with.

You took a deep breath and knocked again. “Come in.”

Chuuya was relaxed, done with almost half the files. To your relief, he did drink the coffee. “Uh, someone named ‘Mackerel’ left these for you.” You felt weird calling him by his first name, or ‘Boss’ remembering the last time you called him that, so you chose to not call him anything, and go with ‘ums’ and ‘uhs’, as one would do when they didn’t know the name of a person.

“Who?” He sounded nice again, as if his mood changed like the time. You handed him the card and left the bouquet on his desk, wanting to say something, but staying silent. He opened the card with one gloved hand, looking somewhat cool in doing even that, making you sad somehow. Even a card was being treated better than-

Chuuya crushed the card in his hand. “That fucking mackerel.” He cursed.

Great. Is his mood gonna change again?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it to you.”

“No!” He said politely, almost in a guilty tone. “I’m sorry. Truly, I shouldn’t have yelled at you when I was the one who told you to leave.”

Your eyes widened. None of your previous bosses, professors, or teachers ever apologised to you after yelling at you.

“The coffee was really good too.” He smiled. Actually smiled. At you. “Did you spend your own money on it?”

You just nodded, not really knowing if saying something could set his mood off again. “That won’t do. Here, take my card.”

He handed you a premium black card, one of those that even top celebrities couldn’t obtain. How did you get to work for someone so cool? You thanked him for the card, realising even a percent of money in that card could probably solve all your problems. However, it was for business use only.

Chuuya reached for the flowers, and something came over you, stopping him by holding his wrist.

“They’re thorny, Chuuya. Let me.”

You took the roses out of the bouquet, picking the largest one and clipping off the thorns with a nail clipper, and then handing it to Chuuya. As he took it slowly, you saw his wrist, ears, and face were turning red.

Shit, is he angry again?

“Thank you.” His voice was, for once, a little low.

You bowed, and put the rest of the flowers in a vase, removing all the thorns. You could feel Chuuya just watching you, and in your distraction, you pricked your finger, pulling it away.

“Shit.” He ran up to you, holding your hand. “Be careful now.”

His gloved hands brought your finger to his mouth, as he licked the blood off. You would’ve done the same thing, but never expected him to do it. He blew on your finger, grabbing a band-aid from a nearby drawer, still holding your hand. He wiped off your finger with his own, and wrapped the band-aid on you.

Perhaps noticing your bewildered expression, he clarified “Habit. Taking care of wounds in the field and all.”

Sure. Surely it was just that, you figured, disappointment coming over you as he let go of your hand.

[deviltownresident]

My opinions on Rimmer’s commentary about Lister’s sandwich in the Red Dwarf episode ‘Thanks For The Memory’.

this will be an essay ramble i started writing a year ago, blacked out after five minutes, by which point i had... something... and then forgot about it and left it to sit in my documents. now it returns. this gets steadily more unhinged and is catered to an extremely niche audience. proceed with caution.

In the second series of the sci-fi sitcom titled ‘Red Dwarf’, there is an episode where the characters party on a nearby moon, getting drunk. Those shown include: David Lister, Arnold Judas Rimmer, the entity known as The Cat, a few scutters, and the ship’s computer Holly. They are celebrating Rimmer’s deathday, for some reason unexplained but that the viewer can safely presume is simply due to how anally-retentive Rimmer is. In this scene, they are all acting a little out-of-character. Music is played loudly from the scutters seated at the keyboard, Holly is bopping his head and saying “we’re grooving tonight” while Lister has been permitted to play his guitar for once. This indicates the drunken state of the characters. Furthermore, it is worthy to note the state of Rimmer. He is dancing, and not morris-dancing either, this is far worse, and his movements are far more swayed and uncontrolled than a sober person’s would be, despite him saying “I’m not in the least bit drunk”. Although this factor is not relevant to the subject of this essay, it should be highlighted that Rimmer is behaving in a way that the viewer has never seen him act before, he being as strait-laced as he is.

When the crew of Red Dwarf have returned to the ship, and Rimmer and Lister are sitting in their shared bunkroom, Lister declares that he wants a “triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney”. They order Holly to make one, and Rimmer takes a bite, despite his initial doubts. Clearly, Lister is not quite as drunk as Rimmer is, judging by how it is typical of him to eat disgusting and spicy food. He is also used to being drunk and the aftermath of drunken nights out, when he logically advises Rimmer not to tell him about his sex life, for he will regret it when the morning comes. Rimmer’s facial expression fluctuate between confused, disgusted, and marvel at the taste of the sandwich. He also declares “I feel like I’m having a baby”. This suggests the sick and pained feeling that the sandwich has doubtlessly caused, as well as hinting that it could be a life-changing experience for him despite this. However, whichever way one chooses to interpret those words of Rimmer’s depends on one’s opinions of pregnancy, and frankly, I don’t want to go off on that particular tangent today.

Although Rimmer’s feelings on the sandwich appear conflicted, when Lister asks him “it’s good, isn’t it?” he replies that “it’s incredible” and asks where Lister got the recipe from. Perhaps Rimmer finds the sandwich incredible because he’s never tasted anything quite like it before, which I believe can also be said about his relationship with Lister. Growing up on Io, Arnold Rimmer was surrounded by elitists, his father an upper class citizen who had a fixation on getting Rimmer and his three brothers into the Space Corps. Lister, on the other hand, was found under a pool table in one of Liverpool’s pubs, and his social status didn’t exactly get better than that as time went on. These two polar opposites, who have never been friends with anyone so completely different as they are from each other, may seem to clash on surface level, but actually get along excellently underneath that, just like the ingredients in Lister’s sandwich. Additionally, if Rimmer and Lister can be seen working well together like the sandwich filling, what is the bread in their relationship, the bread that Lister claims is liable to dissolve if the sandwich is not consumed quickly enough? And hereby I present to you my answer to this: time. The factor that holds Rimmer and Lister’s friendship together is time.

Let me go off on this tangent I just made up. Or click off. Also say goodbye to the ‘smart kid’ tone of this essay, it’s time for the brainrot.

It’s time, I don’t know what else to tell you. When the crew are wiped out, it takes three million years before Rimmer and Lister are reunited. This introduces the recurrent theme of time in the show, that appears in episodes such as Backwards, Timeslides, and a whole lot more. But because it doesn’t feel like time has passed for Rimmer and Lister, they still act like the 20something year old idiots that they are. They still insult each other like they used to when everyone was alive, because time never really changes that aspect of their relationship. Even in the later series, when it’s twenty years since the show was first launched, these dumbasses still throw the same old insults at each other, because time will never change that for them. It’s fucking. Beautiful. You know? I love them so much. However, time does change their relationship a little bit in other ways. They might still insult each other at every given opportunity, but it’s clear that as the seasons pass, it’s not really malicious anymore. They even start calling each other ‘Listy’ and ‘Rimsy’, which I think is even cuter than them using first names like normal people. Because, despite my attempts in writing Work Thing, these bitches will never be normal. Anyway, my point is that time keeps them together, which sort of sucks because otherwise the song Astronomy by Conan Gray would really fit them. In fact, time even brings them together, given that one dream that Lister has. I don’t even need to say it, do I? You’re already screaming about them with me right now, and if you’re not, then what the smeg else are you doing?

Anyways. Back to the sandwich.

Rimmer says that he could never invent a sandwich like the one he is holding in his hand at that moment. Wait, hold the fuck up. Rimmer doesn’t eat, he’s a hologram. The only time we see Rimmer eat anything is when he asks Holly for something to eat, but we never actually see him hold the food or beverage he asks for, we just watch him feel the effects of consuming it. Rimmer, being a soft-light hologram at this point, can’t touch anything other than himself, so how can he touch the sandwich? Since I can’t be bothered to think of a reason for this, I will simply quote a Nirvana song and say: oh well, whatever, never mind. If you have ever received that exact message from me, probably on WhatsApp, looking at Dee and Emerick here, I was not dismissing you except I was but I was quoting a cool song while doing it so I could justify myself while being too sleepy to think of an actual answer.

Let’s try that again, shall we? Rimmer says that he could never invent a sandwich like… that one. This shows his true admiration for Lister’s creativity. I say ‘creativity’ loosely here, given that although Lister went to art college for an incredibly brief period of time, he still didn’t manage to pass his Technical Drawing GCSE, and I’m not even going to delve into his guitar playing abilities. Anyway, you gotta admit that, drunk or not, it is nice to see Rimmer be actually friendly to Lister about the sandwich, although it confuses the audience at first, namely because who in the fuck would compliment a sandwich like that one? Moving swiftly on, Rimmer compares the sandwich to Lister, for some reason known only to God. That’s me, and I, as God, declare that Rimmer is, in fact, a drunken gay idiot at this point who is too drunk and gay to do anything except compare his totally platonic roommate to a sandwich. Seriously though, there is an actual reason, that is quite eloquent if I’m allowing myself to not torture Rimmer today. You see kids, Rimmer says that all the sandwich’s ingredients are wrong, just like Lister’s personality traits are wrong. He says that Lister is “slobby” and that he has “no discipline” and is the “only man ever to get his money back from the Odor-Eater people”. Now, I could go full-out English Lit student here and comment on Rimmer’s use of tricolon and how it emphasises all the negative traits he believes Lister has and that by using this technique which is often used in persuasive writing he is trying to get Lister to see his point and hiding his admiration for Lister through this, but I would much rather discuss what the fuck was this guy thinking. One does not simply compare one’s roommate to a sandwich. Indeed, in my notes page of ‘reasons why I ship Rimster’, there is written something along the lines of ‘only a gay person would compare their roommate to a sandwich’ Admittedly, I wanted to write this essay in order to make a better and more elaborate point than that, but. Perhaps, from a shallow yet accurate point of view, that is all that needs to be said.

But, if we ignore the aforementioned approach, Rimmer also says that people like Lister. Now, who is people? Certainly, Lister had more love affairs than Rimmer did, namely Kristine Kochanski, and he also had more friends such as Petersen and Chen, but people also includes Rimmer. Obviously, being the repressed bastard that he is, Rimmer doesn’t want to go around saying “you know, I like you despite your flaws” to Lister, so he puts himself in third person and simply says “people”. Referring to himself like this, assuming that he is referring to those around him and Lister at this present moment in time, and also assuming that “people” counts only for humans, there is nobody else aboard ship in this moment that Rimmer could be referring to other than himself. Even if it didn’t count for humans alone, it would still have the same effect. The Cat gets along better with Lister than Rimmer but wouldn’t go so far as to express liking for him, and Holly is, frankly, too senile to count. Besides, nobody really knows who Holly likes and dislikes, since it is his job to keep the ship to a certain degree of functioning and he can’t do that if he openly holds biases.

Um so I don’t actually remember where I was going with this because im something right now but that sandwich sounds yummily gross. Like I hate all the ingredients, especially when put together, but I would fucking swallow it whole in five seconds if you gave me half the chance. Actually I want to make one right now oh shit. Anyway I guess it does really reflect Lister’s personality because it’s so goddamn weird but also scrumptious you know? Maybe im simping for him, but hopefully not as much as rimmer. Thing is though it’s quite impressive how I can see Rimmer’s point while being completely sober. Im not completely mentally ok though so maybe that shared trait of me and Rimmer acts more than the alcohol does in that scene. I could go on an entire ramble on everyone’s mental health right now but I really don’t want to. Anyway the sandwich. I wonder what bread they use. Probably white. Definitely white. I wonder which supermarket though. Tescos bread is fucking awful. They better be going to a nice bakery for it. To be honest there aren’t all that many artisan boulangeries in deep space, so I doubt it. Still, it’s a nice thought. My disgusting king only deserves the best, you know.

[monstrous-fusion]

Can you share your favorite fun facts about the blorbos?

Oh man, it's really hard to choose! I've got quite a few little niche facts about the Links!! So I'll just list one for each Link 🫶🏽 Hopefully I'll do it in alphabetical order </3

Artisan still lives with the Tailor's family! They work under her apprenticeship, rather than her husband, and they're much happier as a tailor than they were as a blacksmith. (actually also adding that Artisan keeps in contact with the other heroes from Triforce Heroes :D they're Crimson and Sapphire!

Engie is really big into herpatology on the side. His first love is definitely trains (and Zelda, I guess) but he loves picking up injured reptiles that he sees and nursing them back to health! His favourite type of reptile is a snake and he loves rainbow boas :D

Eras actually really enjoys cooking. Before being enlisted into the Hyrulean army, he wanted to be a chef. Being a hero swept him up and he's been too ensnared by court theatre to ever even think about his dreams a chef. He can still cook up a mean pumpkin soup though.

Faye has far more tattoos than meets the eye--and yes, those...tend to bleed too. Their blood has a strange blue tint to it that translates through their scars too. (side bar but I do actually have a diagram with the tattoos so I'm adding that too)

Feathers has a loftwing named Azul. He thinks he's very smart and funny for naming the Red Loftwing a shade of blue.

Green, in Minish's system, is incredibly paranoid. He's a huge motherhen and very protective of his system, and they constantly keep a moon pearl attached to their necklace. Just in case! They also keep a mysterious shell on their necklace as well...for luck.

Due to excessive magic use as a kid, Mirror suffers through severe chronic pain. He has a cane in his bag for days when flare ups are so bad he could barely walk. That doesn't stop him from continuing to use magic, he just has to use it very sparingly.

Tune lives full time in Tetra's crew. He values her expertise and knowledge and respects her more than anyone--besides his grandmother, of course. He's adamant that she's the strongest (and coolest) person he knows. (also, since I couldn't pick which fact I wanted to write, I'm adding that he is OBSESSED with cats. The Ship cats practically own him

Kind of a random detail in my AU, but Agitha is the one who helped Rancher realise she's a girl and helped her be confident in her body! They collect bugs together and Rancher definitely doesn't know a lot about them, but she LOVES hearing Agitha infodump about them.

Wild is a lone wolf by design. It's not like he intends to be that way, but he just. Always feels like a passive observer of his own life and accidentally drifts away from groups without realising it. Because of it, he can blend into the background very well.

Zonau has not talked to someone in literal decades. He isolated himself to do the goddesses know what, and kind of sucks at socialising as a result. It's just super out of practise. It's a little bit of a hermit crab.

Oh!! and I also have. playlists that I'm making for my Links too :D but I'll add those when I'm actually finished them </3

[valyrfia]

no actually ur so right. as someone who have been in primarily mlm fandom spaces as an afab person the rampant feminization that goes on with charles especially is crazy. ive been pretty public on my dislike of this characterization if charles because of like exactly what you said (which is excluding my own experience being feminized and treated poorly because of my more masculine gender expression). it makes me pretty uncomfortable to see this in specifically fandom spaces and incredibly uncomfortable so see outside if those places.

just to add, im not against feminization (i actually enjoy it a lot when its like niche kink stuff) but the way it is in formula 1 rpf is unlike anything else ive seen in other fandoms.

I agree, it is CRAZY to see how this has somehow become the default characterisation. I agree with your not being against feminisation as an entire concept and when done well it's fun but rather just....why does it seem to be the default? It's bizarre. On a note that I'm sure is entirely unrelated, someone pointed out to me the other day that (although a small valiant group of us are trying to change it) F/M genderbend is far more common than F/F genderbend in F1 RPF....I'm just going to leave that stat there and you can make your own conclusions but considering I got this anon when I posted only F/F Lestappen stuff for a couple of days like two months ago....

Yeah, it's a little disheartening and is part of the reason why I think I'm so anti the feminisation of Charles as a default characterisation. Fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be, but it has always been a queer space but I've seen it time and time again that when a queer ship becomes popular, people are more desperate to consume it within a hetnorm structure. I haven't just seen it with F1 RPF, there's been a big rise of this over the past half a decade or so which I think is due to the consumption of mlm content becoming widely accepted amongst gen z, but in a way that almost straightwashes queer relationships. I remember when RWRB came out and I watched it when I was home for a bit in the summer with a group of girls I knew from high school as part of an effort to be social, and it was so bizarre. Not only did I witness first hand them obsessively rewinding to watch the kiss and the sex scenes, while exclaiming "that's so hot", but they were obsessed with trying to guess which of them would top and which of them would bottom, and for me most damningly, I made a throwaway comment about Uma Thurman in a suit being very hot (tame compared to what they were saying) and I was met with silence and weird sideways looks or a retort of "Alex in a suit is so hot!". It was a little bit of a humbling experience, to see them root for LGBT acceptance for the hot characters on the screen but be blatantly uncomfortable by actual queer expression in their presence.

I'll be honest I've experienced similar things when I talk about F1, and I think that that's because F1 as a fandom space has really exploded in growth in the past couple of years and thus the newer mlm ships within it, especially the popular ones like Carlando and Lestappen, have been subject to this straightwashing more strongly than other older fandom spaces.

As you said I have zero issue with it when it's a conscious choice on the behalf of the creator, but when it becomes the 'norm' within fanon and people complain when roles are reversed, well, it really rubs me the wrong way. I'm interested to hear your continued thoughts if you have them!

[mister-tom-a-dildo-lover]

What constitutes as a rarepair anyway having a couple fics and that's it?

Depends.

If your rare pair has 50 fics on AO3/FFN, it's rare. UNLESS, there are only 100 fics in total. That would mean your rare pair is actually common as it makes up 50% of the current fan content for that fandom that is available on AO3/FFN. It's probably the fan fav to be specific.

There are 847,000 HP fanfics on FFN alone. Tomarry/Harrymort fics technically make up about 1.5%, but that is when you search Harry/Voldemort and Harry/Tom specifically. If you search fics where all three are tagged, it's under 1%. This is because many Tomarrymort writers will use Tom and Voldemort interchangeably and at the same time even if they only present the Dark Lord or Dark Lord Wannabe the whole fic.

If you search each specifically with Romance, and add them together, they make up 0.6% of the HP fics on FFN.

Hell, Cedric/Harry has almost the same amount of fics on AO3, as pure Harry/Voldemort does. This means just Harrymort. No Tom Riddle/Harry Potter being tagged in it as well cuz writers can't choose which ship their fic falls under. This also means filtering out any fics where Harry gets with others as well, or oneshot/drabble compilations that have crossovers or other ships.

Cedric/Harry can be considered niche and rare, but a ship with only a couple hundred more fics on AO3, isn't? Ron/Harry and Theodore/Harry have more fics that Cedric/Harry but a little less than Voldemort/Harry. Sirius/Harry is almost on par with Cedric/Harry. Out of 484,000 HP fics on AO3, all of these ships have over 1K fics but less than 2K.

Saying 1,700 is a big number, isn't wrong. But if you're comparing it to 400,000, things change a bit. 1,700 of 400,000 is a vastly different ball game here. Likewise, 2,200 of 847,000 is very small. To make things clear, more than 50% of these fics are cross-posted on both AO3 & FFN, so you could cut that number directly in half for a more realistic amount.

If your ship makes up 1% or below of the total fan content in such a massive fandom and is even considered to be crack by not only people who ship it with you, but everyone who doesn't ship it, it's likely considered rare.

(I used Harrymort as an example cuz ant!s are a little more accepting of Tomarry since they're of the similar ages. That is why there are so many obviously Harrymort fics tagged as Tomarry and why many of us have to clarify we're talking about the evil, 70 y/o snake face when thinking of fics ideas.)

[fanaticsnail]

Sooooo I kinda desperately want to join the OC discord you posted a while back? But I’m legitimately terrified, I’ve never done this before and my OC is kinda niche but kinda fun? Also I’m the Assassin’s Creed/One Piece anon (if you’ve even seen it, I know there were asks problem for while). Sorry for bugging!

But basically- Ezra. Adopted child of Pell, friends with Vivi.

Pell is part of the OP version of the Creed, a hidden group working to protect poneglyphs, carriers of the Will of D, and take down Celestial Dragons, scattered across the blues. Pell found Ezra while escorting Cobra before Vivi was born, and brought her home.

She’s a stealth and poison expert with a preference for knives, a massive vendetta against Crocodile, and while I’m still working on how *exactly* this sassy little shit ended up with the Kid pirates, that’s ideally where I’m putting her. Partially because it deeply amuses me to think about pasty goth queen covered in knives arguing with Kid about wearing sunscreen while he’s burning to a crisp under the Alabasta sun.

There is nothing to fear about the OC Discord. This community founded by @discordantwritings has been absolutely amazing. We are all massive fans of one another's OCs, alongside genuinely enjoying one another's friendship and company.

I don't think I've interacted personally with a few of the members here, there are so many of them. I peruse around the archives and enjoy learning about all of the niche subjects and peculiarities of their OCs. I obviously have a preference for the fishfolk OCs, and there has been ships sailing and fictional relationships forming between them.

The reason I haven't been as active as I usually am here is because I've been writing and drawing for the OCs and their ships in the chat. I'm obsessed with all of them.

These are some of my OCs I talk about there, and not here.

Cove: miserable, middle-aged Fishman who is just sad he's never been someone's special someone.

Picture 1: Cove and Penelope (who belongs to @discordantwritings ), Picture 2: Cove and Orylans (who belongs to @jinbeioyabun ), Picture 3: Cove getting his miserable face squished.

And Matteo: who's ultimate 'type' is "yes." He is afraid of love, but he has fallen hard for Pancake.

Pictured: Matteo and his fishfolk lover, Pancake (who belongs to @okanadafreakingfan )

The way I am already obsessed with Ezra.

You need to join the server, my love.

I have been chipping away at a little picture to go with your ask, attempting to use brushes and shading for an assassin's creed style Kid Pirate poster...

...but you're saying there's a Kid-Pirate OC I can chuck in there too?

It so far, btw. Bit dodgy with the line work, but I'm still learning how to do art with my phone and fingers. So many brushes:

Join the server so we can talk about Ezra! I have to know more. I am also a sucker for Pell. Honestly, Ezra would be welcomed with open arms. Love a badass character who can hold their own against the Kid Pirates.

[ruewrites]

Understanding Us

AO3

Ship: Solomon/Asmo

Word Count: 2952

Warnings: Mildly referenced implied homophobia/misogyny. The undertones are very light but it is there.

A/N:

Another installment of the Next Gen! AU that I made with @leviathanswingman. Solomon and Asmo integrating into the human world is definitely something that is worth exploring in this AU because it does come with a few challenges, especially in terms of socializing. They find their niche eventually, but there will always be challenges.

(Solomon is touch starved and no one can change my mind about this.)

I hope you enjoy!

Solomon forced a smile, swirling his cup in his hands as he watched his partner from across the backyard. He fit in well here, much better than Solomon did. Of course they both had their moments of bouts of odd behavior, and yet Asmo slipped into the neighborhood as a socialite with near flawlessness and perfection. He laughed like windchimes as he sipped his cocktail, gossiping and chittering away with a few of their neighbor's on the host's deck next to the grill. He looked stunning too, as he always did. The spring air appeared so much sweeter as it carried Asmo's essence.

What made it sweeter still was their child on his lap. Asmodeus was the perfect image of a parental socialite. Solomon had already heard him fantasizing about joining a future PTA meeting after speaking to a few of their neighbors who had older children. An entire bake sale had practically already been organized in the entirety of his mind for when Lilith started attending classes, and of course Asmodeus would be chaperoning field trips! Perhaps he could still make a post or two as well, after all, Asmodeus was still an influencer.

Tilting the cup in his hand again, he wondered if there was another cocktail floating out there for him somewhere. Perhaps one with blueberries or pomegranate.

“Solomon! That's not going to do you any good stayin still in your cup.” 

A man clapped him on his back. Solomon had heard his name once or twice, his wife had brought over cookies when he and Asmo moved in. It had been a rough introduction, Asmo had still been a bit bristly around strangers so Solomon had done most of the talking. It went about as well as it could have with an unhappy demon in the background. Despite that, this man still seemed to hone in on Solomon at every social event.  No matter how hard he tried to hide himself, he always seemed to find him and drag him out to groups which discussed subjects that Solomon cared little for. Still, Solomon forced a smile and stood a little straighter, “I'm more of a whisky man if I'm honest. I like my liquor a bit… smoother.”

“You get used to it, it's an acquired taste.”

Solomon would beg to differ.

“You're partner up there, he get you whisky? It's always nice to have your own little treats.”

Solomon had seen Asmo put back stronger drinks than whisky on a Saturday night. Solomon liked whisky, the best way to taste it was the remnants from Asmo's lips.

“We drink together, although he does know how to pick out rather divine blends,” Solomon continued  to stare straight ahead, not offering the man a glance, “Sometimes we drink together later in the night after we put Lilith down.”

The man elbowed him, making the drink in his hands slosh onto his skin.  It felt as disgusting and horrendous as it tasted. 

There was a way this man talked about Asmodeus, a few of them talked about Asmodeus in a similar fashion.  Solomon hated it. They projected their own ideas onto their relationship in a fashion that often made Solomon uncomfortable, and they liked to pry. Asmodeus confused them all, whether it be his mixture of pronouns or presentation of gender or how he fit in with Solomon and Lilith. They were much more concerned about Asmodeus’ role that Solomon thought they ought to be. Asmodeus was Asmodeus, and that should be enough.

“He get cuddly with you drunk? Scooch in real close?” it was a joke, but not one Solomon enjoyed in the slightest. It was shallow, superficial, and the implications left bile in his mouth,  “Bet he's the type to get scared during horror movies too. You ever watch those and drink your whiskey?”

The man next to him was laughing as the plastic crickled beneath Solomon's finger tips.

***

“More, please.”

It was far from erotic, and Solomon craved it all the same. Asmo's caress did something to him, lit a fire deep within his cold soul. If it was taken from him, he wasn't sure how he would ever survive. Asmo's hand caressed the side of his face and moved upward to ruffle his hair.

“My Darling is so needy tonight,” the arm around his waist tightened, pulling him closer, and Solomon reveled in it. He knew his face was flushed, his body contorted to distort himself into some smaller form perfect to fit in Asmodeus' grasp. His legs tangled, arms struggling with whether to stay pressed close to his chest or to wrap around and capture the source of undying affection and attention before him. 

“But that is okay,” Asmo cooed in his ear, “Because I am here for whatever he needs, whenever he wants it.”

It was like this frequently in the beginning once they started more openly expressing wants and desires. Solomon would fluctuate between a kind of aloofness and the cold void inside him that demanded to be filled. Before all of this it was easy to ignore. After all, how could you miss an experience that was forgotten to you? But once he had the tiniest taste, the switch inside of him was flipped. Nowadays the void was quiet more often than not but every now and again that craving for intimacy and affection overtook him to a point that was almost painful. Twisting his head to the side, Solomon looked up at Asmo through his lashes.

“I love you.”

The words fell short in so many ways, if only there was something more he could say, some word that fit better. One day he would find one, but for now, this would do.

Asmo's fingers continued to card through his hair, his eyes soft. His lips pressed against Solomon's forehead, “I love you too. How do you feel?” 

Solomon shifted, adjusting his position and making himself feel more comfortable in Asmo's arms. The ache in his chest had lessened to a dull thud as Asmo's warmth took its place. 

“Better,” Solomon said, “Luckily I have you and your love for this poor heart of mine.”

“Careful Handsome, you might have another baby if you're not careful with your words.”

Solomon laughed, “You say that like it isn't something I would like.” Asmo had passed on so much to their child. She looked so much like him and Solomon didn't doubt that what else he had passed on to her would be revealed with age. Solomon had passed on his talent with magic, that he knew, but he swore that she would never know what the void within him felt like. He would shower her in all the love and affection he could muster and assure that her days were filled with brightness and laughter.

“I know you would,” Asmo purred. God, Solomon loved that purr. The only thing better than the purrs were the chirps and chitters he made. It was all music to Solomon's ears. “You're such a good Daddy, there isn't a better man I could have accidentally had a child with.”

He punctuated each word by walking his fingers up Solomon's shoulder and tapping his nose.

All Solomon could do was smile. He kissed Asmo once. Then again. And again. He lost himself in his partner's laughter as they continued their exchange of soft kisses, completely and utterly enveloped in each other.

It was the best whiskey Solomon could ever chase, and he would gladly get drunk on it any time of day.

***

“I love what they do with the gore,” Asmo moved closer against his shoulder and it made his heart lurch, “It's so… artistic. Like a pretty little metaphor.”

“It does look like a flower if you pause it right.”

“Yes! See you get it! It's about blooming into her true potential and truths being revealed! Also I just think it was done in a very pretty fashion.” With the way Asmo squealed and kicked his feet, one might think they were watching a very different genre of film, certainly not a psychological thriller. But Solomon loved how excited Asmodeus became. It was lovely being able to discuss in depth literary analyses with his partner.

“What about you Solomon? What do you think?”

“What do I think?”

“That is what I asked.”

Solomon glanced back at the screen, intertwining his fingers with Asmo's as he thought. “I think it's about an acknowledgement of all parts of yourself, the good and the bad of human nature, that sometimes the more horrendous things can be masked with beauty and that escaping it in itself can be brutally terrifying, but there is beauty in escaping and gaining your freedom.”

Asmo used the tips of his fingers to turn Solomon's face towards him, his feather light touch on his skin sending shivers up Solomon's spine. “Beautifully put.”

Her finger tips traveled down Solomon's neck, tracing along his carotid artery, “Most people forget about the horrors often faced in order to reach that pretty little ending. When perfection is mistaken for beauty, some tend to turn volatile in their blindness.”

“You would know that.”

“So would you.”

“It's not easy to forget.”

“Would we want to?”

A few minutes of silence lingered between them, Asmodeus’ fingers dancing over his heart before gripping the fabric of his shirt and pulling him in.

“I wanted to go back to the Celestial Realm more than anything,” Asmodeus whispered, “I'd almost forgotten why I left.”

His fingers ran throughSolomon's hair and down his back, lulling him into a security. He let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around his lover. Asmo's scent filled his lungs as he inhaled, and a sense of completeness watched over him. 

Asmo's eyes were once again fixed on the television, his grip on Solomon tightening.

“I'm glad she got her freedom.”

***

Solomon hummed, his eyelids lowering. 

“Well? Do you?” 

Another jab came at him from the side. It was taking all Solomon had not to let his agitation show. For the first time since their interaction began Solomon turned to him, a wide smile spread across his face. 

“You don't know anything about my partner nor myself, and I think I like having our little mysteries,” If he were a worse man, he'd curse him now, “It keeps a certain spice to life, wouldn't you agree?”

Solomon didn't allow him to say another word. He dumped the vile liquid on the ground, stepping out of the way of playing children, and made his way up the deck steps. That man could speculate as much as he wanted, as could the rest of them, but unless they treated Asmo with dignity and respect when they thought he was out of earshot they wouldn't get a word out of him.

Asmo hadn't seen him approaching, in fact, he was still enraptured in conversation when Solomon approached him. A soft noise of surprise left him, a chirp. Solomon kissed where his jaw met his neck and then allowed himself to settle. 

“Oh hello Darling! Coming by to say hi?”  Asmo asked, leaning into Solomon. His warmth radiated to Solomon’s core and his hair smelled dizzyingly of the sweetest roses. 

“How could I ever stay away?” 

He took one of Asmo’s hands and placed kisses from his wrist to the tips of his fingers. A soft flurry of noises rose up and fell just as quickly as they appeared.

“What did I tell you?” Asmo chirped, looking around the table, “He’s a perfect model of a gentleman.”

“He is,” a woman crooned, “All you’re missin is a ring honey.”

“You’re gonna get me a pretty ring right Sol?” Asmo asked, batting his lashes. His voice was overperforming. Words dragged out in an exaggeratingly sweet manner as he cozied up to him. If only they knew how Lilith had come into the world.

“The prettiest, if I can have a sip of your cocktail.”

WIthout a word, Asmo lifted the pretty drink to his lips. Solomon could have groaned. Finally, something that didn’t taste like piss. Why take the enjoyment out of life by taking the pleasure of consumption away? Why ingest something horrible when perfection was a few yards away? Asmo set the glass back down onto the table and relaxed once again into their previous position. 

“Thank you my Darling.”

Asmo hummed in response, content to let Solomon recharge his dwindling social battery. This was a game they often played at gatherings. For some reason or another, the same group of men would find themselves flocking towards Solomon, trying to get him to engage in one draining activity or another. Eventually Solomon would escape towards Asmodeus and allow himself to relax. He was more interested in the conversations Asmodeus was a part of anyways. If there was one thing his demon excelled at (well… one of many) it was honing in on interesting gossip or picking up key information that others let slip past their lips.

His fingers toyed with Lilith’s hair, it was soft and wavy, and Asmo had placed a little pink bow in it. Asmodeus loved toying with their daughter's hair. He absolutely delighted in it, seeing all of the different stylings that could be accomplished. She always looked so cute too, Asmodeus made sure she was the pinnacle of cuteness. 

“How about I take her for a while?”

“I’ve got her.”

“I can take her inside and reapply her sunscreen, it’s getting hot,” Solomon continued, “Besides I want to make myself a drink.”

It didn’t take anymore convincing for Solomon to have their daughter in his arms as he walked into the house, a deep sigh left his lips. “Oh Lilith, what am I to do?”

Lilith babbled in response, blowing bubbles out of her mouth and grabbing for Solomon’s hair. “Ah, wise words from a wise young lady,” he shifted her weight to his hip as he looked at the counter full of mixing ingredients, “Now, let's make a good drink.” 

Fortunately he spent the rest of the time in the kitchen talking to Lilith about everything and nothing. She was delightful company, always was. They could have a much better social event than whatever was happening outside, and when temperatures would eventually continue to rise they wouldn't be the ones melting. In every possible way, this was a much more favorable outcome in his books. Fortunately for him, no one else came in for however long he had decided to wander around. That was, until familiar heels clicked on the linoleum. Solomon had started making his second drink, explaining the elegancies of a wyvern’s bone structure to an enthused Lilith, when Asmo entered the room. 

“You ready to head home?” he asked, hip cocked against the doorway.

“Are you done socializing?”

“They all started fixating on how I have a year old baby and no ring, so yeah I think I’m done,” Asmo said, “It’s a shame, they can’t seem to understand why I trust you to not leave me.”

Solomon snorted as he lifted the newly mixed drink to his lips. Asmo seemed to be matching his annoyance. It was concealed just enough, if Solomon hadn’t known Asmo for as long as he had or as intimately as he did, he might have missed it, “It seems to be challenging for some of them to understand us doesn’t it?”

“You mean your new friends don’t understand you?” Asmo teased.

Solomon choked, “God, I don’t know why they flock to me.”

“You’re an intriguing man Darling,” Asmo tilted his chin and pecked his lips, “And the cost is exhausting.” 

It wasn't just that. They both knew it.  They knew it was Asmo's perceived femininity. The fact that he enjoyed it when Solomon referred to him as “his girl” or “his princess” and that sometimes she preferred she. The fact that his makeup and nails were constantly well maintained. That Asmodeus enjoyed skirts and heels just as much as slacks and flats. It was easier to digest Solomon for them because in their eyes he fit their definition of masculinity more closely even when his nails were occasionally done. It didn't matter what Solomon felt about his own identity, what mattered to them was how they viewed him, and the way they viewed both of them was in strict little boxes. 

Asmodeus was masculine and feminine and everything in between and every point in the spectrum. They would never know how safe and comfortable Solomon felt in his arms, or how his lower registers would send shudders up his spine just as his higher ones would inspire a similar yearning desire. No matter what form or what presentation, Asmodeus was Asmodeus his love and his muse.

He who inspired him and filled up the aching void in his chest.

She who held him until the loneliness once again drifted away into nothing. 

They were his comfort, his everything, his dearest love.

“So, what do you say? Let’s go home, put Lilith down for a nap and we can cuddle up and watch a movie on the couch? We can even make a lil charcuterie board.”

“You know exactly how to entice me, Dear One.”

“And that’s why I’m yours.”

His. 

The word made his heart lurch and ache in the best of ways. How it made him yearn for his partner in the deepest recesses of his very soul.

Oh Solomon could not wait to be home and have those pretty fingers tracing shapes on his skin and his voice whispering such sweet things in his ear. The comfort and familiarity of his lover’s embrace was worth more to him than anything else this world had to offer. 

[olderthannetfic]

Tumblr seems to be sliding in a downward spiral, and it feels like the start of the end of a fandoming era for me. I've been through it before; platforms are born then die, and life fandom finds a way. I'm just not looking forward to floundering for a bit, and dreading what the next hub will look like.

AO3 isn't really a place geared or meant for the same thing, and that's fine. My only fandom-related activity took place on AO3 only for a few years between my leaving LJ and joining Tumblr, and I lived ;-) But during that time, I was my own little island in fandom. Reading, leaving a few comments, not being super active. It's only when I found a community again that I was back to being really active in fandom once more.

And it's not that I actually use Tumblr to post about myself, but I do use it to read and reblog cool things - art, gifsets, science stuff, discovering new fandoms, and the like. I'm not sure where else I could find my people, with sameish purposes. The other sites I've tried didn't fill that niche in a way that suited me, in part because of how they look and work, in part because of who and what is(n't) there.

I have DW & PF accounts just to be safe, but I'm not very fond of group chats Discord-style - and without Tumblr, IDK how I'd even hear of new communities where I might pop in once in a while, loins girdled and everything. The micro-blogging platforms are not what I'm looking for either. Sure, I can follow a few DW comms and blogs; I already occasionally do and I will be more consistent about it if I must.

But one of my greatest fear is that the next platform will be phone-based, app-only, or some such BS - and that is something I just won't be able to deal with. Phones are tiny, it's uncomfortable to write anything, I don't like touch screen and much, much prefer a proper keyboard and a mouse (copy-pasting on a screen? (x_x) << it me), art/pics are too small to properly appreciate, a phone isn't comfy to hold for a long time for me, and the app system means you have no control over anything as a user… and that anything there must be Apple Approved, dick-free, blood-free, and tasteless. And I say this as someone who's pretty much uninterested in sex IRL or in my entertainment ;-) I still support and want the tits, the gore, the everything, and as long as I have the tools to curate - oh, wait. Curate things myself? That's not something that's popular these days, is it? It's not going to generate money, if I'm happy ;-)

So… I guess I'll play some more on Neocities, and see if anyone wants to have webrings again? (it would be fun and nostalgic, but not really viable on a large scale; people who haven't known those would just laugh and point and go on the InstaTok of the time).

So here is my little cane-waving rant of the day! I know things evolve and change and that in ten years I'll be rolling my eyes at my moping. It's only that I feel tired of moving from one shitty platform to another, of fearing I won't adapt (or more accurately won't want to adapt given the annoyance/benefit ratio) to whichever new place things will move in a few years. It's saying goodbye to a former home, moving, and hoping you'll make another home elsewhere kind of sniffles today!

--

We already know the next platform. It has been Discord for a few years now.

If you want the one after Discord, I think you're looking at waiting things out for quite a few years (or until Discord makes a major misstep as a company).

True, real time chat is not for everyone, but small discords with well-chosen channels can operate more asynchronously. Just like a lot of people who hated the look of Tumblr early on eventually capitulated, a lot of chat haters have jumped ship to Discord already.

Realistically, 90% of fandom always goes where the action is, no matter how much they claim the features make that space impossible, and 10% disappears.

We might get the 10% back on the next platform or they might leave fandom for good. There were LJ-haters who resurfaced post LJ era.

But as for where you'll find out where people are... probably AO3 author's notes.

[your-unfriendlyghost]

4, 5, 7, 14

(Okay I really liked these ones fyi)

4. Rank the main 7.

  Ooh tough one. I guess right now, in order of favorite to least favorite, I’d have to go Sodapop, Two-Bit, Steve, Johnny, Ponyboy, Dally, and then finally Darry. But it’s pretty close, and the order changes day by day honestly- I like all of them a lot, y’know? I guess the only one I don’t think about too often is Darry. I still like him and think he’s a really well-written character- I just don’t have a lotta original thoughts about him, is all, whereas I do about all the others. 

5. What are your fave ships?

  In a truly shocking turn of events, I, a frequent draw-er and writer of Stevepop, am going to say Stevepop. I dunno, something about them just makes me happy. Reminds me of like…daydreams I had when I was twelve and crushing on my best friend, and trying to get her attention by doing stupid things and whatever…god I don’t really know how to explain why I like it. Before this fandom I didn’t usually ship things, to be honest. But I guess when I did it’d be stuff like Jesslake in Infinity Train, where it’s the sorta thing that can be seen as platonic or romantic. I reckon Stevepop scratches a similar itch in my brain lol

  But I also really like Marcia x Two-Bit, which I haven’t really talked about here much- They had good chemistry, y’know? I oughta draw something about them sometime

  And then finally there’s my DIY crack-ish ship Soda x Steve x Evie. I like them! It’s all the things I like about Stevepop, plus there’s a cool girl in the mix! I love cool girls! More folks should think about them i think

  I do like other ships okay too- like the Tarry crowd has dragged me in, and sometimes the Jally crowd does too, along with Purly and occasionally Johnnyboy. I’m not an active participant, but when I come across it, I sorta mentally nod and say “nice”, you dig? They’re like…my ship-in-laws. Or like…milk duds and hershey bars- candy I still enjoy, but reach for only after I’m out of milky ways and twizzlers.

7. What are your fave non-romantic relationships? (This can be close friends, familial, enemies or even just acquaintances)

  Two-Bit and Pony! I like them a lot. Their interactions in the book were some of my favorite parts. That line when Two-Bit was worried about Ponyboy using that broken bottle on the Socs…ugh that part was great. I remember reading it for the first time and just sitting there thinking about how much I liked that detail.

  Then on the opposite side of the coin, Steve and Pony lol. I LOVE how Pony doesn’t initially like Dally or Steve, and yet Dally’s chill with Pony…but with Steve the disdain is mutual. Jk I don’t think Steve really hates Pony- but he definitely thinks Pony’s kinda annoying. I like the idea of him watching out for Pony anyways though, like at school especially now that Soda’s not going.

14. Tell us five of your headcanons you basically see as canon

Sodapop has ADHD and maybe (?) dyslexia, but it’s the 60s so he won’t find out till he’s well into adulthood

Marcia gave Two-Bit her real number, and was disappointed when he didn’t call it. I like to imagine they end up remeeting at some point and going out together- even if that’s kinda unrealistic lol

Steve hated Dally when he first rolled into town, because Dally was everything he really wanted to be- tough, cool, and street-smart. And he was also scared of losing Soda, who thought Dally rocked- because Dally’s from New York and rides in rodeos! Eventually they became buddies though when Dally gave Steve a compliment or something. Not even a particularly good one- something like “Hey you ain’t bad at fighting”- just barely enough for Steve to feel like Dally’s earned a little bit of his loyalty. Might write fic/make a comic for this- it’s kinda niche but I think the idea is funny

Steve and Soda secretly listen to the Beach Boys at the DX. They can’t tell anyone because it’s not tuff to like a dumb California band. And Ponyboy would like the Beatles if he listened to them, but he doesn’t, so he won’t realize that until years after Beatlemania has died down

Steve is not just a Ponyboy hater but also a horses-in-general hater. He thinks horses are scary and unpredictable and that cars were invented for a reason. He was secretly relieved when Mr. Curtis stopped Soda from riding rodeos, because seeing Soda on a crazy horse gave him mad anxiety. Pretended he was sad though for Soda’s sake

Thanks so much for asking!! I loved answering these so much lol, definitely let me know your thoughts too on ‘em!