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finelinefae · 23 hours

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the other woman

synopsis: y/n is the other woman who just wants to be loved

word count: 5.5k

contains: angst, not a super happy ending maybe it is depending how u see it idk, harry is kind of a dick, mentions of medication, mentions of mental health (anxiety, allusions to depression), harry definitely listens to the 1975 in this, smoking, friends with benefits situation, toxic relationship

. . .

"That's the ugliest piece of shit I have ever seen."

"Yeah,"

"I love it."

"You do?"

"I adore it."

"Good."

Harry sat against the headboard of her bed which took up the majority of his tiny bedroom in his even tinier apartment an hour train ride from central London. He was shirtless, his trousers were unbuttoned and his hair was a dishevelled mess. He had a cigarette between his teeth, Y/N hated the way the smoke made the room smell but she would never tell him that.

She sat up against the wall, her legs on top of his. She wore cotton underwear and his shirt, the buttons weren't done up, his gaze switching between his sketchbook and her breasts. Her eyes were fixated on the picture in the center of the white A3 pages.

She didn't know what it was but it was black and white and looked like skin. She wondered whether it was his skin but she wouldn't have called it ugly. She had seen every inch of his skin and the last forty-five minutes was proof of that. Her lips had pressed against the most intimate of places, she would know if it was his skin.

"What is it?" She frowned, tilting it to one side to see if a change in perspective would enhance its features.

"It's an areola," He responded, releasing a sigh, almost as if he was frustrated she didn't know he had taken a picture of a woman's breast.

"A tit?" Her heart began to race as she thought about him taking pictures of her without asking.

He chuckles and puts out his cigarette on her bedside table, leaning forward to throw it out of the window. "It sounds less artistic when you say it." He leans back again and reaches for a strand of her hair to play with. "But yes it is a tit."

'Who's is it?' She wanted to ask 'When did you take it?' 'Is she pretty?' 'Why not me?'

She could feel herself slipping away, wanting to cover herself up the more she questioned him in her own head. She glanced down at her chest briefly.

"It's not you." His words stung more than they should.

"I know that." She pushed the sketchbook away, not wanting to look at the picture of another woman's areolas. "What for?"

"We're doing the human form." He answers,

"Right."

"You're upset."

"I'm fine." She argued but the truth was she was upset and she hated the fact he knew that immediately.

He was good at hiding his emotions, he always had that sense of mystery to him, her not so much. She was sensitive and wore her heart on her sleeve. She was desperate to fall in love and when she did, she felt it to her very core, her chest would ache at the thought of being isolated from human contact. Sometimes she felt he took advantage of that but if she were to admit that, she would have to leave him and she couldn't do that.

She would rather die than be alone, especially if it meant being away from the one person to who she had developed an unhealthy attachment since they had met.

Harry's phone went off and he quickly reached across her to grab it from his side table. She felt like someone was pinching her all over as he bit back a grin at whoever had sent him a text. Suddenly being naked around him felt wrong so she quickly reached for her clothing that had been discarded on the bedroom floor.

"You're leaving?" He asks.

"Who is it?"

"It's nobody." She knew him long enough to know when he was lying.

"How long have you been seeing her?" Y/N wasn't going to cry, she wasn't, she really really wasn't.

Harry rolled his eyes, "You're being dramatic," He always tried to make it seem as if her feelings were too big for the space around them.

"You're a fucking jerk you know that?" She pulled her trousers up her legs and didn't even bother to button them up as she went in search for her shoes. "You show me someone else's tits as soon as we finish having sex? And then you get a text message and don't even tell me who it is?"

"I don't know why you're getting so upset we agreed long ago this was just a temporary thing."

"Oh I know you remind me that every time, I like to remind myself every day I'm just someone to pass the time." Y/N was used to being someone made to be used by someone else. She could be bleeding on the floor in the middle of the street and she wouldn't be surprised if someone took a plastic bottle and started filling it up with her blood in hopes it could save someone else before they even thought about rescuing her.

The problem was, she didn't even try to stop them. People entered her life and took pieces of her and carried them away with them, just to discard them later. Before she even thought about healing herself, someone else would come along and snatch another piece of her away.

That was the problem with people who were afraid of living with no love in their life, they were prepared to do anything for it. Y/N put too much faith in people despite the number of times she had been let down by the people close to her.

Harry was no different to that it seemed.

"What are you talking about? Hey," He grabs her wrist and pulls her into him, his eyes were sharp and for a brief moment, she thought she saw a flicker of emotion in his eye. Her heart pounded at the touch of his fingertips grazing her pulse. "What do you mean? You don't really believe that do you?"

"What does it matter? I know nothing about you Harry."

"You know more about me than anyone else does."

Sometimes it didn't feel like it.

Harry liked to make her feel special. He was good at it. He sent her texts during the day and brushed his hand against hers when they passed in the hallways. They'd come back to his place after a few drinks with friends in the evening, fuck, and be done with it. He'd send her away and act as if what they did didn't matter to him.

It mattered to her though. No one thinks that about a rebound or a person you had casual sex with but it always matters. She had never slept around until she had met him and now she was intoxicated by him because it mattered, right from the very beginning.

She closes her eyes and nods, "Please tell me who it was." She almost pleads with him.

"It's the girl in the picture, she's in my photography class." He admits.

"Do you like her?" Y/N almost whispers, she braces herself for the answer. She had been dreading the day he was planning to end this, she thought she would have more time.

Harry's head falls back like it kills him inside to give an honest answer to her question, "I really like her."

Y/N pushes him back and finally cries in front of him, "Go to Hell."

"Y/N-" He tries.

"No," She moves away from him quickly and reaches for the door, "And for what it's worth I lied, that is the ugliest piece of shit I've ever seen and I hate it. It's ugly and you are an awful photographer."

She was glad she got that out as she slammed the door behind her on the way out.

An hour later she called him.

"Harry, I'm sorry," She whimpers and sobs into the phone. It was an ugly, heart wrenching sob as she cried to him on the phone, "I didn't mean to upset you. I don't think it's ugly at all. I'm sorry,"

"Hey love, it's okay, it's okay," He comforted her.

"I didn't mean it Harry please forgive me I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. Please, please, please, please." She said the words over and over again. Pleading for something that seemed like more than forgiveness.

"Y/N I forgive you, I promise. Please go to sleep." He asks her, he was worried for her but she had done this often enough he knew it wasn't anything serious.

"Promise?" She cries, sniffling.

"I promise,"

"Okay, I'm sorry Harry."

"I forgive you."

The call ended and Y/N lay back staring at the ceiling, her eyes burning from all the crying she had done since she got home from being with Harry. She turned over and took half a miligram of xanax and a sleeping pill, despite her doctor telling her not to, and fell asleep.

"Who was that?" Harry turned to look at the girl in the photo who was now lying on his bed. Her hair was flipped to one side, exposing her entire neck and collarbones.

"Nobody." He forced a smile on his face and walked over to her with his camera, the sounds of Y/N's pleading echoing in his head for the remainder of the night.

The next day, Y/N walked into the art room for her first class of the day. She took out her portfolio and sat at her table where she had been working on her next project. It was a painting she had been working on for the past few days and she wasn't near to being finished just yet.

Her eyes were swollen and red from having spent the majority of yesterday crying her eyes out. She skipped her therapy appointment and turned her phone off as she thought about how lonely she really was and how she had no one but herself to blame for putting herself in that situation.

Harry was also in this class but he hadn't turned up yet. The thought of him made her stomach twist. Picturing his smile as he told her about the girl he had been seeing, 'I really like her.' echoed in her head and she wondered what it would be like for him to say that about her.

"How's it going?" Ollie, a good friend of Y/N's, sat down at the easel and stool next to her and placed his backpack on the ground at his feet. He pulled out his pens and watercolor paints as he set up his station to paint.

"Fine." She muttered, reaching for her headphones in her pocket and putting one in her left ear.

"That doesn't sound good." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"I'm fine Ollie." She repeated, a little more hostile this time.

"Did you go to Harry's place yesterday? I tried to call you but it went straight to answerphone."

"What makes you think that?" She looked at him, tilting her head in curiosity.

"You have this look in your eye." He seems as if he doesn't want to go on but she waits for him to carry on speaking, "I don't know how to describe it... It's like someone's put light in your chest just to then suck the life out of you." He motions towards her painting, "Kind of like that."

She looked at her painting and stared at it. A woman sat in an empty room, a stream of light hitting her face from the window. Outside were people celebrating amongst vines and trees and flowers. The painting was a mixture of beiges and browns and green but the woman's eyes were black and lifeless... they were the saddest pair of eyes she had ever seen.

"Fuck," Harry groaned and fell on top of her, sweat beading his forehead as he left her and fell to her side. She lay there, staring at the ceiling, her mind was blank and her chest was heavy.

Harry reached across her for his phone, "Shit." He muttered, shifting to the end of the bed and jumping to his feet.

"What?" Y/N asked, sitting up, the blanket falling to her waist.

"I didn't know what time it was, I'm late for my class." He pulled up his trousers and ran his fingers through his hair as he went in search for a shirt to wear on his bedroom floor.

"Hmm." She sighed and fell back, reaching for one of his cigarettes and fiddling with it between her fingers.

"Are you going to smoke that?" He nodded towards the cigarette.

"Would you like me more if I did?" She replied.

He frowned, "I'd like you just the same."

She stared at him, he was so pretty. He had just gotten out of bed and his hair was a mess, his shirt had a stain on and his trousers were undone but he was so beautiful. She wondered if he ever thought that about her, whether she was beautiful despite the ugliness and mess.

Y/N reached for a lighter, lit the end of the cigarette, and inhaled the smoke.

She didn't seem to mind the way it made the room smell this time because it was a reminder that he had actually been there in her presence even just for a brief few minutes. She stared at the empty room where he once stood.

Y/N remembered when she first saw them together. It was a Friday night and all the art students spent Friday night at a bar in Camden Town. Y/N and Harry weren't in the same friendship circle but they had friends that knew friends and that was really how they met.

She sat with Ollie on a couch as everyone else played pool. She had taken three shots of vodka and was on her first drink of the night. The door opened and they both walked in hand in hand. The girl was stunning, her legs were long and thin, her hair was thick and wavy, her eyes were innocent and shone underneath the lights of the bar and her hand was intertwined with Harry's.

They caught eyes for a brief second before Harry turned away from her and went over to the bar to order them a drink. Ollie was talking about something she wasn't paying much attention to as her eyes stayed fixated on them.

She noticed the way his hand pressed against her back at the bottom of her spine and how he brushed her hair behind her ear as they leaned against the bar waiting for their drinks. How she smiled as he whispered something to her and bit her lip as he traced the back of her hand with the tip of his finger.

Y/N realised the Harry standing in front of her was someone she had never met before. It was strange how we never really know the people we meet as they choose to present themselves as someone else depending on who they are with. It's only when you're with your person that you can truly be your authentic self. She wondered which version of himself was real. She even wondered which version of herself was real, who she was with him or who she was without.

"I'm going to go over there." Y/N slurred, moving off the couch but falling back again as the room began to spin.

"Oh no you don't." Ollie pulled her back. "I'm not going to let you embarrass yourself like that."

"Why would I be embarrassed?" He looked at her like she was supposed to understand what he was hinting to.

"You'll forgive me in the morning." He said like he had done her some kind of favour.

She did.

"When are you going to take pictures of me for your class?" She wondered, playing with the ends of her hair on his bed as Harry fiddled with the strings of his guitar.

"You want me to do that?" He asked.

"Why not? I think it would be fun." She thought for a moment, "What would you choose to take pictures of?"

Harry pondered on the idea, thinking really hard to come up with an answer to her question. She bit her lip to hold back a smile. She liked the idea of him scanning his memories for parts of her body he had seen. It made her happy knowing that pieces of her were ingrained into his mind like lyrics to a song or the colours of the rainbow.

"Your eyes." He answered after a while.

She frowned, not expecting the answer, "What?"

"Your eyes." He repeated.

"That's it?" Her eyes were the only part of her he thought worth photographing?

"Yeah."

"That's boring." She muttered, falling back against the mattress.

"What makes you say that?"

"You took a picture of that girls boob and you've probably taken a lot more pictures since you like her so much." He cringed and set his guitar down to look at her properly. Harry knew he had to be careful with what he was saying, he could tell by the tone of her voice she was getting upset.

"Those were the only pictures I took." He argued, "And besides, I like your eyes."

"You never look into them." She retorts.

"Of course I do."

"You don't."

A beat of silence rested between them until Harry spoke again, "Maybe when you're not looking."

"Why would you look at my eyes when I'm not looking?" She wasn't understanding anything he was saying.

"Because I love watching you watch the world." He replied. "If I don't know how I feel about something I look at your eyes and everything makes sense. Sometimes it feels as though I'm understanding the world through you."

Her face softened, her heart settled in her chest. She felt warmth spread through her like she had just received a warm hug. The corners of her lips tugged upwards and she crawled over to kiss his cheek. "That was possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." She confessed, her heart expanding.

"Then you need to be surrounded by better people." He reached for his guitar. "Come sit here." He patted his thigh and she rolled off the bed to sit exactly where he asked.

He began to play a song on his guitar, gently singing the lyrics in a low voice. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck.

It was one of those moments she wanted to freeze and stay in forever. Nothing else existed outside of this bubble. Her heart was happy.

Ollie's birthday was January 23rd and he was having a house party at his flat.

"How many people are coming?" Y/N asked as she applied mascara in front of his bathroom mirror. She was crouched down inside the sink so she could get as close as possible to the mirror.

"I don't know, I invited about twenty and said they could spread the word to whoever was available." OIlie applied aftershave as he spoke.

"So everyone?"

"Possibly."

Y/N was excited to see Harry. Although they didn't speak much outside of the confinements of his bedroom, she was still looking forward to being in his presence. Ever since their intimate moment, they shared a few days ago, she had been longing for him. Her heart sighed in bliss at the thought of being near him again.

She wanted to wear something extra special that she thought he would like. Her hair was curled, which she never normally did, she wore black, leather trousers and a black corset to go with it and black heels to make her slightly taller than she really was. She accessorised with gold jewellery and had done her makeup in a much more simple manner.

"You look like that girl." Ollie spoke as soon as she walked into his kitchen.

"What girl?" She blushed.

"The one Harry was with at the bar the other night. I mean, the outfit is hot but you never wear your makeup and hair like that."

"Geez would it kill you to just say I look 'good'?" She mumbled, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. She never normally wore her hair down as it irritated her.

Ollie's face softened, she hated the sympathy on his face, "You look fucking hot." He said, pulling her in for a hug, "Don't let anyone change that." He whispered.

People began to arrive around 10pm. Ollie's apartment filled up rather quickly and Y/N was already on her third drink of the night. She was stood talking to a few of her friends from one of her textile classes until her eyes caught sight of the curly-headed boy she had been waiting for.

She smiled, excusing herself from the conversation and shifting through the crowd to get to him. "Harry hey," She beamed but then immediately felt her happiness slip from her.

"Hey Y/N," His eyes were wide at the sight of her, he was so used to seeing her in her natural form.

Y/N didn't reply as her focus was fixated on the girl talking to some other people. The girl he had bought with her. The girl in the photo. "Are you okay?" Harry asked when she didn't say anything.

"I'm fine." She forced a smile on her face.

"We're not staying long. I just thought I'd stop by to see Ollie." Her heart deflated at the use of 'we', they were a 'we' now.

"Right, I'm sure he'll appreciate it." She nodded, reaching for another drink.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He checked with her.

"I'm fine. I just need to use the bathroom." Y/N pushed past him and made her way to Ollie's bathroom which was surprisingly empty.

"Are you okay?" Someone asked her from behind as she was about to step into the bathroom.

She turned around and came face to face with the girl from the photo. She looked even more beautiful up close if that were even possible.

"I'm fine." Y/N muttered, it seemed as though that was the only response she was giving anyone nowadays.

"Harry sent me to come and see if you were okay." She said, even her voice was soft and gentle, "He was worried about you."

Y/N scoffed, "What he couldn't come find me himself?"

"He was trying to find Ollie I think-" The girl sighed, "If you're okay, I'll go back and tell him."

"Before you go...Can I ask you something?" Y/N could hear the voice in her head screaming at her not to say anything but she had to know, she needed to know.

"Go ahead." The girl seemed irritated by Y/N, like she was wasting her time.

"Do you know who I am?" Y/N could feel her eyes burn as she asked the question.

The girl from the photo frowned, confused by her question, "What?"

"Do you know who I am?" Y/N repeated but this time more sternly.

The girl from the photo looked at her, really looked at her, narrowing her eyes as if to get a better look. "I have no idea."

Y/N's insides felt as though they were bleeding. It was almost like Harry was the only one who was keeping her stitched together but now everything inside of her had come loose from that one reply.

The girl from the photo hesitated before saying, "I'll go and tell my boyfriend you're okay."

Y/N looked at her as she walked away, completely crushed. She walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her, falling onto her knees and sobbing into her hands.

She hadn't realised how much power he had over her until this moment. How much she relied on him and how she couldn't picture her life without him. She trusted him too easily and that was nobody's fault but her own.

Her breathing began to pick up and she felt a strange sensation like pins and needles trickle along her skin. She pulled off her trousers and her corset until she was in nothing but her bra and underwear. She crawled into the bathtub and turned on the shower so cold water could reach her skin, all whilst hyperventilating and crying her eyes out.

This was unlike any pain she had ever felt. She wasn't sure why it had hurt so much but maybe it was because another person had used her, maybe this time it was because she gave every inch of herself to him and she had nothing but skin and bones left.

"Y/N are you in there?" His voice was muffled from behind the door.

"G-Go away." She whispered, rocking backward and forwards with her head tucked into her knees and cold water wetting her skin.

"I'm worried about you, love." His voice sounded so sad.

"Go away." She carried on chanting like this was a nightmare she wanted to wake up from.

She felt soft hands touching her shoulders and immediately looked up into green, sad eyes. For once Harry was easy to read as his eyes showed nothing but remorse.

He reached past her and turned the shower off, she was shivering and he reached for a towel to wrap around her shoulders in hopes it would provide some warmth.

They said nothing, Y/N didn't get out of the bath as it helped in providing a separation between them. "Why don't you love me like I love you?" She whispered. Her eyes looking into his, they were red and her face was stained with tears.

There was no point in denying things anymore, he was one of the only people who knew she was too clever for that, "I don't know," His head fell forward, he felt defeated.

"Why did you put me here?" She cried, "Why did you put me here if you were just going to leave me?"

"I-I thought you understood what this was. I thought-" He lied.

Harry knew Y/N better than anyone in her life. He knew better than to hurt her like this.

"Why does everyone leave me?" She whimpered, "Why can't I be loved?"

"Y/N-"

"Please tell me you love me. Please, please, please," She was begging him, crying into his shoulder.

"I-I can't Y/N." Never had her name sounded so disgusting coming from his lips.

"I don't know what to do anymore Harry. I-I would rather die than be alone," She sobbed.

"Y/N you're never alone."

"You're ending this." She cried, "I'm alone."

He couldn't stand having this conversation and not being able to hold her. He stepped into the bathtub fully clothed and sat in front of her, reaching for her hand and holding it gently in his. The feeling of his skin seemed to ease some of the pain she had been feeling, but the loneliness still echoed throughout her.

"I don't know why I can't love you, Y/N, but it doesn't mean I don't feel anything about you. You have become my best friend—"

"I don't want to be your best friend. No, no," she shook her head. "You've killed me once by admitting you don't love me. Please don't send me to Hell by calling me your friend. Do you know how painful that is? I just want to be loved by you. Is that too much to ask? I have given everything, I have given everything to you. I rooted for you in every way possible. I have killed myself trying to get you to love me, and I don't think I even know who I am anymore because of it."

Harry didn't know what to say. He was selfish and a coward and undeserving of her love, and he wished she could see that.

"Y/N—"

"Please just leave."

His eyes watered at the thought of going about his life without her. He could feel the air around them grow thick, his chest rising and falling as he tried to breathe in. He felt like he was drowning at the thought of her leaving his life. Despite not loving her in the way she desired, he realized he would also be alone without her.

Maybe that was it.

All along, they had just been two people dealing with loneliness and coping with it differently. One used the other to fill the gaps in the spaces where they felt most alone, and the other fell hopelessly in love in hopes it would change them. That was the true nature of it, and even if they were meant to be together at some point, now was not the time.

"Listen to me," Harry whispered, collecting her hands and holding them to his chest. "I'm going to leave."

She choked on a sob.

"I don't want to do that." She shook her head. "I just want to be with you." The thought of the loneliness seeped into her pores, and she didn't think it would be possible for her to stay afloat as she drowned in it.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said softly, tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I-I don't know what I'm doing."

She was taken aback by his tears and was unsure of what to do. It was the first time she had seen him cry, the first time she realized he was equally as afraid as she was. She leaned forward and wrapped him in a hug, allowing him to cry into her shoulder.

This was the end.

"I love you, Harry. I really do," she whispered into his ear.

He couldn't reply, so he just sobbed even harder.

The days hadn't changed so much when Harry stepped out of Y/N's life.

They didn't talk much during the day when they were friends so Y/N went about carrying on her classes and speaking to Ollie who she appreciated more than ever as he comforted her when she was feeling at her worst. It was Ollie who made the days feel... a little less lonely.

She missed his touches and texting him on her phone but she tried to come up with ways to cope with that by watching youtube videos or drawing so she wasn't tempted to unblock him and forgive him again.

The nights were the hardest. Y/N hadn't realised that the only reason she'd been sleeping was because of Harry. She had tried to not take sleeping pills to help her get to sleep but sometimes she'd spend the entire night just painting in hopes it would made her tired.

Since they had some of the same friends now, Y/N knew of Harry's ventures through word of mouth. He had broke things off with the girl from the photo the day after Ollie's birthday party. Turns out they weren't really in an established relationship and the girl did know who Y/N was because Harry never stopped talking about Y/N when they were together.

That made her smile.

He was an assistant to a wedding photographer on the weekends so that he could save up some money for his own studio. She was happy to hear he was actually making the most of his talent instead of wasting it like she had considered doing multiple times.

Other than that, the days went by rather slowly and nothing out of the ordinary happened. She had been on dates here and there and was in her first real relationship in her third year of University but that only lasted a few months. Turns out he was cheating on her the entire time they were together which felt like one step forwards and two steps back.

Y/N moved into an apartment in central London after she graduated and did some freelancing as an illustrator whilst working weekends at a hotel and the evenings at a bar in Soho.

Her life was mundane but she was okay with that. She had spent so much time focusing on others that she forgot to focus on herself. She had started going to therapy, the gym, and even became vegetarian for a little while. She was no longer taking Xanax as often as she used to and spent less time thinking about Harry.

She wondered what he was up to from time to time but in the end, she just hoped he wasn't alone.

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ms-demeanor · 18 hours

Note

Hello! First, I wanted to say thank you for your post about updating software and such. I really appreciated your perspective as someone with ADHD. The way you described your experiences with software frustration was IDENTICAL to my experience, so your post made a lot of sense to me.

Second, (and I hope my question isn't bothering you lol) would you mind explaining why it's important to update/adopt the new software? Like, why isn't there an option that doesn't involve constantly adopting new things? I understand why they'd need to fix stuff like functional bugs/make it compatible with new tech, but is it really necessary to change the user side of things as well?

Sorry if those are stupid questions or they're A Lot for a tumblr rando to ask, I'd just really like to understand because I think it would make it easier to get myself to adopt new stuff if I understand why it's necessary, and the other folks I know that know about computers don't really seem to understand the experience.

Thank you so much again for sharing your wisdom!!

A huge part of it is changing technologies and changing norms; I brought up Windows 8 in that other post and Win8 is a *great* example of user experience changing to match hardware, just in a situation that was an enormous mismatch with the market.

Win8's much-beloathed tiles came about because Microsoft seemed to be anticipating a massive pivot to tablet PCs in nearly all applications. The welcome screen was designed to be friendly to people who were using handheld touchscreens who could tap through various options, and it was meant to require more scrolling and less use of a keyboard.

But most people who the operating system went out to *didn't* have touchscreen tablets or laptops, they had a desktop computer with a mouse and a keyboard.

When that was released, it was Microsoft attempting to keep up with (or anticipate) market trends - they wanted something that was like "the iPad for Microsoft" so Windows 8 was meant to go with Microsoft Surface tablets.

We spent the first month of Win8's launch making it look like Windows 7 for our customers.

You can see the same thing with the centered taskbar on Windows 11; that's very clearly supposed to mimic the dock on apple computers (only you can't pin it anywhere but the bottom of the screen, which sucks).

Some of the visual changes are just trends and various companies trying to keep up with one another.

With software like Adobe I think it's probably based on customer data. The tool layout and the menu dropdowns are likely based on what people are actually looking for, and change based on what other tools people are using. That's likely true for most programs you use - the menu bar at the top of the screen in Word is populated with the options that people use the most; if a function you used to click on all the time is now buried, there's a possibility that people use it less these days for any number of reasons. (I'm currently being driven mildly insane by Teams moving the "attach file" button under a "more" menu instead of as an icon next to the "send message" button, and what this tells me is either that more users are putting emojis in their messages than attachments, or microsoft WANTS people to put more emojis than messages in their attachments).

But focusing on the operating system, since that's the big one:

The thing about OSs is that you interact with them so frequently that any little change seems massive and you get REALLY frustrated when you have to deal with that, but version-to-version most OSs don't change all that much visually and they also don't get released all that frequently. I've been working with windows machines for twelve years and in that time the only OSs that Microsoft has released were 8, 10, and 11. That's only about one OS every four years, which just is not that many. There was a big visual change in the interface between 7 and 8 (and 8 and 8.1, which is more of a 'panicked backing away' than a full release), but otherwise, realistically, Windows 11 still looks a lot like XP.

The second one is a screenshot of my actual computer. The only change I've made to the display is to pin the taskbar to the left side instead of keeping it centered and to fuck around a bit with the colors in the display customization. I haven't added any plugins or tools to get it to look different.

This is actually a pretty good demonstration of things changing based on user behavior too - XP didn't come with a search field in the task bar or the start menu, but later versions of Windows OSs did, because users had gotten used to searching things more in their phones and browsers, so then they learned to search things on their computers.

There are definitely nefarious reasons that software manufacturers change their interfaces. Microsoft has included ads in home versions of their OS and pushed searches through the Microsoft store since Windows 10, as one example. That's shitty and I think it's worthwhile to find the time to shut that down (and to kill various assistants and background tools and stop a lot of stuff that runs at startup).

But if you didn't have any changes, you wouldn't have any changes. I think it's handy to have a search field in the taskbar. I find "settings" (which is newer than control panel) easier to navigate than "control panel." Some of the stuff that got added over time is *good* from a user perspective - you can see that there's a little stopwatch pinned at the bottom of my screen; that's a tool I use daily that wasn't included in previous versions of the OS. I'm glad it got added, even if I'm kind of bummed that my Windows OS doesn't come with Spider Solitaire anymore.

One thing that's helpful to think about when considering software is that nobody *wants* to make clunky, unusable software. People want their software to run well, with few problems, and they want users to like it so that they don't call corporate and kick up a fuss.

When you see these kinds of changes to the user experience, it often reflects something that *you* may not want, but that is desirable to a *LOT* of other people. The primary example I can think of here is trackpad scrolling direction; at some point it became common for trackpads to scroll in the opposite direction that they used to; now the default direction is the one that feels wrong to me, because I grew up scrolling with a mouse, not a screen. People who grew up scrolling on a screen seem to feel that the new direction is a lot more intuitive, so it's the default. Thankfully, that's a setting that's easy to change, so it's a change that I make every time I come across it, but the change was made for a sensible reason, even if that reason was opaque to me at the time I stumbled across it and continues to irritate me to this day.

I don't know. I don't want to defend Windows all that much here because I fucking hate Microsoft and definitely prefer using Linux when I'm not at work or using programs that I don't have on Linux. But the thing is that you'll see changes with Linux releases as well.

I wouldn't mind finding a tool that made my desktop look 100% like Windows 95, that would be fun. But we'd probably all be really frustrated if there hadn't been any interface improvements changes since MS-DOS (and people have DEFINITELY been complaining about UX changes at least since then).

Like, I talk about this in terms of backward compatibility sometimes. A lot of people are frustrated that their old computers can't run new software well, and that new computers use so many resources. But the flipside of that is that pretty much nobody wants mobile internet to work the way that it did in 2004 or computers to act the way they did in 1984.

Like. People don't think about it much these days but the "windows" of the Windows Operating system represented a massive change to how people interacted with their computers that plenty of people hated and found unintuitive.

(also take some time to think about the little changes that have happened that you've appreciated or maybe didn't even notice. I used to hate the squiggly line under misspelled words but now I see the utility. Predictive text seems like new technology to me but it's really handy for a lot of people. Right clicking is a UX innovation. Sometimes you have to take the centered task bar in exchange for the built-in timer deck; sometimes you have to lose color-coded files in exchange for a right click.)

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maculategiraffe · 2 days

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been thinking about how the baby uses the word "love"

he says it with great emphasis and weight. about people ("I love you, auntie mac") and also about activities ("I love making cheesy rice with you, auntie mac"). he will repeat it multiple times over the course of the activity, as if he feels it is important to establish. he will sometimes say it about objects but I feel like it's usually more about an experience he's associating with the object ("I love [riding] my scooter"). same with places-- he will say "I love school" but he means the experience, not the building.

(he doesn't really seem to have much attachment to objects as objects-- we all tried for awhile to find a doll or stuffed animal or blanket or something that would work as a transitional / comfort object, but he doesn't seem to get emotionally invested in objects like that. books are for reading, toys are for playing with, blankets are for pretending to be a ghost. if he's not doing the related activity, the thing doesn't interest him.)

recently his little cousin had come over to play and we were all playing musical instruments and singing, first "old macdonald had a farm" and then on to "the ants go marching." the baby was feeling kind of emotionally raw because it was his naptime and when we struck up a third song ("twinkle twinkle little star") the baby put down his ukulele and said a little tearfully "I love 'old macdonald.'" meaning that he really just wanted to sing it again

then another time he was at my house and my mom texted and said my cousin was coming over to their house and to bring the baby over to see him. and again the baby was feeling kind of emotional (post nap, hungry) and he said "I don't want to see uncle [cousin]"

and I said "how come?" and he thought about it for a minute and then said "I don't love uncle [cousin]"

and I wasn't sure if it was like... an actual antipathy or what, so I said "do you not like him? or do you just mean he's not one of the people you are the very most comfortable around?" and he said "I just mean he's not one of de people I am the very most comfortable around"

I think he uses "I love" very deliberately to identify things (people, activities) he finds restorative. comforting, engaging, fulfilling. not things that are exciting and stimulating but also tiring (like parties and other special occasions, or the zoo, or the transportation museum), but things and people that make him feel happy and safe and also better, if he's not feeling so great to begin with.

and when he says "I love [whatever]" it's like he's making a note. adding it to a mental catalogue, and encouraging me (or whoever he's with) to do so as well. like "for future reference, I love this"

and he keeps the mental catalogue for other people too. he'll say "mommy loves hummingbirds" or "let's watch sword in the stone. you love sword in the stone"

keeping meticulous track of what sparks joy. love that 💖

#psir #baby nephew

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mcuamerica · 3 days

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The Shadowsinger: Twenty-Four - Final

Warnings: pure fluff, smut (nothing too specific, but it's def there), ACOTAR series spoilers.

Pairings: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Azriel and you officially accept the bond.

Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters or plot lines, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.

Graphics are my own. If you use, please give credit!

Series Masterlist

The next week, you stood in the threshold of the living room, watching as your family talked with one another. Azriel was seated in a chair in the middle and you had a plate with just his food on it. For some reason, you were very nervous. What if after all this time he decided he didn’t want to be bonded to you forever? What if he decided he wanted to go off and try again with Mor? Or someone else? Just as you were about to spiral forever, you felt a small tug on the bond, deep down. He looked over to you, the smile on his face growing.

Your family quieted down and looked towards you. You felt heat rush to your face. This should’ve been something you did intimately, now that you thought about it. But you also knew that you wanted to share this moment with each person who allowed you to be here.

Rhys and Feyre sat at the very end of the table next to Elain, Mor and (surprisingly) Nesta were across from them. On the other side of your eventual seat was Cassian. Across from you and Azriel was Amren and Varian. Wessian and Varyn sat across from each other on the other side of Cass and Varian.

Each one of your family members were dressed impeccably. The females had on lovely evening gowns. You knew that Feyre and Rhys were hosting a small get together after this at the River Home, which had just finished being built. You and Azriel would not be in attendance.

The males were in nice, slick pants, topped with a tunic or collared shirts. You’d never seen Cassian clean up so nicely.

“Everyone.” You cleared your throat, stepping through the threshold. “Tonight is the night that my mate and I officially accept the bond.” You said, your eyes on Azriel’s. His shirt was tight against the muscles below, his wings spread out in a way of teasing you. Your dress was a mix of ivory and black with details that looked like shadows swirling around. Once your mating was done (and you were sure Azriel wouldn’t try to kill anyone who looked at you), you and Azriel would go to the temple and swear vows to be married. You may be attached to him through the bond, but you wanted for it to be through the law as well. And so did he.

“Thank you all for coming. Please, have as much fun as you want once we leave.” You said and walked up to Azriel, a bright smile on your face. He looked at your with all the love and adoration in the world. “Azriel… I love you to no end. And I will love you forever. I offer you this food as my acceptance of the Mother’s blessing. Our mating bond.” You said and held out the plate to him.

You could almost feel everyone holding their breath before Azriel took the plate in his hands, and began eating. Everyone cheered and you laughed, one of Azriel’s scarred hands came towards yours and squeezed it. Something told you that once he was finished with the food, he would want to leave. Immediately. So you sat down next to him, eating a little bit of your own food as you watched him eat every last bite, not leaving a single thing. As if on cue, you felt the bond snap further, driving your desire for him immediately into the roof. You could see it in his eyes, you were in a whirlwind of a week. Or month. Gods, you hope it was a month.

You giggled as he didn’t even wait to start kissing you, pulling you up from the chair and kissing your neck. “Thank you all for coming.” You said and laughed when Azriel growled as they all tried to speak to you. You felt the shadows consume you and he winnowed to the outer bounds of the cabin.

You clumsily flew the rest of the way to the front door. You giggled as Azriel picked you up and carried you through the door, immediately pushing you against the wall. “I think this is the most romantic you’ve ever been.” You joked.

“I think this is the sexiest you’ve ever been.” He said down the bond. Your eyes widened as you kissed him deeply. “That’s right, sweetheart, I don’t even need to ask to know you want me as much as I want you.”

You sent a vulgar gesture down the bond, kissing his neck. “Would you just fuck me already?” You asked, looking up at him.

“No, sweetheart,” he said out loud, looking deeply into your eyes. “I’m going to make love to you, many, many times tonight. And then I’m going to fuck you until you’re begging me for a break.” He rasped.

If your legs weren’t wrapped around his waist, you would’ve dropped to your knees for him right there. “I’ll start begging now.” You said, trailing your hands towards his wings. “Please, Az, make love to me.” You whispered.

A soft growl came from deep within his throat before he winnowed you within the cabin to the bedroom. He set you before the bed, turning you around to take off your dress slowly. He took his time kissing every part of your body, telling you why he loved it. From your neck, your shoulders, your hips, your stomach. All the way down to your core. He spent extra long on that part, devouring you until he brought you to your climax.

You returned the favor, getting on your knees and sucking him until he finished in your mouth. The bond was in full force the entire night.

When he finally laid you down on the bed and entered you, he held you hands above your head, intertwining your fingers. You moaned his name and he did the same with yours.

You stared into each other's eyes as you both came. And in those moments afterwards, when you curled against him, hearts beating in sync, you realized you finally found your place in the world. After going through so much, you would spend the rest of your life with your mate. Maybe soon you would try for a child, have a little Shadowsinger running around. Or maybe you would take your sweet time with your mate, getting to know every single fact about him for another 170 years of your life before you had children with him.

Whatever path you took, you knew that you would be happy with Azriel. With your mate. And most importantly, with yourself.

A/N: Awww this is the end y'all... I can't believe I posted an entire series... I hope you all have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you have any requests for drabbles, or what I could include in a sequel, let me know! I'd love to hear your thoughts as well. Thank you so much for all your support as well!!! I love each and every one of you that has liked, commented, and reblogged. It has meant the most to me.

Series Masterlist

Taglist

Tagging (a special thanks to he taglist, i've never had one this extensive before, thank you all for supporting me!)

@cherry-cin @cleverzonkwombatsludge @nickishadow139 @complete-randomness2 @lilah-asteria @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @mariahoedt @6v6babycheese @secretsthathauntus @krowiathemythologynerd @fightmedraco @he6rtshaker @kayla-rose15 @aelincaddel @mfri06 @hauntedstudentobservationus @brieflyclassymortal @read-write-sleep-startover @krowiathemythologynerd @ialwayscryatendings @chxosangxl @tanyaherondale @randombibitch @plants-w0rld @etsukomoonbeam @riorgail @herondale-lightworm @panther-girl-124

#acotar #azriel x reader #acotar fanfiction #acotar fic #acotar spoilers #the shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel shadowsinger #katie writes #azriel smut

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dalekofchaos · 2 days

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Not interested in LIS:Double Exposure

Okay I saw the Double Exposure trailer and I am not playing it.

Multiple reasons.

The Deck Nine IGN article. I will not support a developer that knowingly protected a bigoted groomer and allowed a Nazi to sneak in White Supremacist signs in the game.

Max learned nothing about the first game. Nevermind there is no Chloe, Warren or anyone from Arcadia insight(we'll get to that) Max apparently formed another codependent relationship that she couldn't let go to the point where she's fucking up reality by creating yet another parallel world. Either Deck Nine is entirely unoriginal or Max didn't learn a damned thing

That is not Max. If your defense is "she grew up" I got news for you. I've looked the same for nearly a decade. I've had friends while changing their aesthetic, they look the same. you don’t look like an entirely new person when you age, the new model looks nothing like max there’s barely even resemblance. Also I know, we all change our style as we get older, but Max's style was unique and it made Max Caulfield who she is. It didn't need to change. Deck Nine just Stephified Max. Was it really that hard to give Max bangs? Not just that. No freckles, eyes and eyebrows look completely different. This is not Max Caulfield.

4. No one from Arcadia Bay returned. It's pretty obvious Deck Nine is either keeping Chloe's fate a secret, but it's also clear they are trying to skirt around the issue of the endings without pissing everyone off. Feels like a copout to whatever ending you chose to give a new cast of characters. For the fans who wanted more time to play as Max and Chloe, I feel bad for you, I especially wanted to see Chloe again. So what the fuck was this supposed to be for then?

Though another point; why the hell are we supposed to be okay with the fact that Max is using her power again to save this brand new character we have zero previous connection to? Especially if the game’s gonna try to straddle both endings to LiS 1; seems very insulting to have Max be okay with doing it for a character we have no previous attachment to, but she’s left her girlfriend to die alone, thinking nobody loved her?

Also you had the perfect chance to make a fucking game that has Max save Rachel. I know I just did a tangent about Max not learning anything, but if you were just going to have Max use her powers again, why the fuck didn't you do it to save Rachel from a fate she never deserved? Godfucking forbid you give attention to Warren, Kate or Victoria. I just wanted to see these characters get some screen time, make cameos or give us SOME hint to what they are up to after the events of the first game. But no, we can't have that. We can't be given anything of substance for Warren, Kate or Victoria. Can't learn anything about their fates in the LIS 2 Save Arcadia Bay ending, can't find out Warren or Kate survived the storm in Wavelengths via talking to Steph during the storm anniversary and we can't see them again in DE. I know it's just a teaser, but seriously why even do a new Max game if we don't even get cameos from these characters? Knowing how Deck Nine is, they are just gonna find a way to demonize Warren to paint him like Eliot, regress Victoria's character and not even give Kate the time of day to mention. Jesus fucking christ, I just wanted to see Max and Warren Go Ape, fun Max and Victoria photodates and to see Max and Kate have one fucking Tea date. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR???

5. Deck Nine are literally just swiping DontNod’s characters for the purposes of chasing that brand recognition. It's just copy pasting lighting in a bottle and milking a cow out of this franchise. BTS was remotely successful because of Chloe and Rachel's relationship. True Colors is fun at first, but realize it's just a hollow imitation of the first game. DONTNOD's story was original, fun and unique. I had problems with it but it was still THEIR story on their terms and not developed from a place of corporate cynicism asking for preorders ASAP that come bundled with a box of tissues and bobbleheads of dead teenagers. Read recent interviews from DONTNOD and you can TELL they got burned by SquareEnix over this. I hope they can channel that into something with Bloom and Rage because I’d love to see them recapture that magic again.

I had fears of what would happen if Deck Nine ever got their hands on Max. And looks like I was right to be worried.

To be clear, I think making stories with someone else’s character is great and cool and it’s literally what fanfiction is and technically, MUCH of mass media now IS “fanfiction”. The difference here is DONTNOD deliberately wanted LIS 1 canon left alone, near as I can tell. But no, Square Enix wanted a franchise and Deck Nine was more than happy to milk the cow for all it was worth and Deck Nine has shown they don't understand DONTNOD's characters

The game looks like it's repeating everything about the first game, but none of the charm that made it great. It's beat for beat the same fucking game. Dead friend, murder mystery, but without the ambiance, charm or magic that made the first game good. Deck Nine is completely unoriginal, DE is a soulless cashgrab and their hyperrealism killed the entire essence of the game and its characters.

It's quite literally a copy and paste of True Colors, but with Max.

And when we just look at this. Double Exposure is just soulless. It's style over substance and I knew. I just KNEW that if Deck Nine got their hands on Max it would be half-assed and soulless shit like this. They dared to slap Max's name on a Steph lookalike and then just do True Colors again, but more hollow.

There's something just so disappointing about the change in art style over the years. The art direction in the first game was charming and now it just feels kinda soulless. The awkward chunkyness of the models really made it stand out but now it feels way too smooth

life is strange going from one studios passion project to another’s cashgrab is one of the biggest modern tragedies in the world deck nine they could never make me like you. All the charm of the franchise from the cartoonish artstyle to the episodical releases has been completely stripped away it’s just very disappointing to see.

This meme is literally Double Exposure.

#Life Is Strange #Life Is Strange Double Exposure #Max Caulfield #Grahamfield #Marshfield #Pricefield #Chasefield #Amberprice #Chloe Price #Warren Graham #Rachel Amber #Kate Marsh #Victoria Chase

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mammonsrockstargf · 1 day

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"I'm going to kill you,"

"H- hey now, that's, that's not a nice thing to say, now is it?" Mammon stutters, his eyes darting around the room as he nervously giggles. "C'mon, human, do this one thing for me, yeah? Ya owe me!" He continues, and your glare grows more murderous. Your brows are furrowed in disbelief and there's a mean pout on your lips and Mammon's certain that if looks could kill, yours would probably have found some way to steal away his immortality.

Mammon is wearing a chicken costume. Like a full-on costume — a big suit with black feathers attached to it. On the table beside you, there's a big chicken-head mask, with a purple beak and cockscomb, that he's supposed to put on. On his feet are some kind of weird shoes, that are supposed to look like chicken feet.

A new hellfire chicken place is opening in the Devildom, and apparently, Mammon owes the owner money. Now, instead of giving the demon the money, Mammon has traded himself for a much better deal: standing in front of the shop on opening night in said chicken costume, with a sign, urging people to come in.

All is well here, right? Why would you be mad? You get the opportunity to eat chicken while simultaneously watching your favourite demon make an idiot out of himself once again.

Well, unfortunately for you, the chicken place has two mascots. Hence, there's another costume lying on the table beside the chicken mask. It looks like an orc, in your opinion, and consists of a mask with a big, long nose, green skin, and very bushy eyebrows. The body consists of long green limbs, of course, and some sort of black gown. Mammon insists that it's a folklore demon that the restaurant is based on, but you're not exactly convinced.

It seems Mammon has also traded your time as a payment for his debt, and for some reason, he just assumed that you'd go along with it, no questions asked.

"Pleaseeeeeeeee?" he pouts, now realising that you're not giving in easily. "It'll be fun, like one of our heists!" He says and shoots you an ear-to-ear smile, that in any other instance would make your knees go weak, but in this instance just makes your frown deepen.

You're still not convinced. At all.

"How is standing in front of a restaurant an entire night, dressed like an orc-"

"Demon," Mammon corrects.

"-dressed like a demon any fun?" You finish, and Mammon shrugs, his smile still not faltering.

"Cause you'll be with me, obviously," he snickers, and you flick his forehead.

"Fuck off,"

"So you'll do it?"

"Of course, I'll do it." you sigh and grab the weird orc mask on the table. Mammon is practically beaming and he gives your cheek a big smooch. You're still keeping up the annoyed act, and wipe your cheek with the back of your hand. He makes up for this by giving you another smooch. And then another. And a last one just for good measure. You look up at him with pursed lips but can't help it when the corners of your lips turn upwards.

He just looks so incredibly ridiculous in that chicken costume. It makes you want to jump him and kiss him silly. You should probably stand your ground, though. Can't let him think he can just rope you into whatever mischief he wants simply with a couple of kisses. (He can. He absolutely can.)

#obey me #obey me shall we date #ficlets #mammon #obey me mammon #obey me fluff #obey me mammon fluff #obey me swd #obey me fanfic #obey me x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me x you #obey me mammon x you #obey me mammon x mc #obey me x mc #obey me drabble

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leydenkilgore · 16 hours

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about balancing shifting and your original reality as someone that spends most of their time in their dr

I’ve spent much more time there than I ever have here. So I just feel like I belong there and it’s not really about one specific place or life. I keep coming back here not because I even want to but because it’s just familiar. I don’t use a safe word or anything, and I scripted I forgot I even shifted there to be more authentic. Because I personally always would feel like I was playing a role. Something in the back of my mind tells me I need to go back and I just go back. You can’t get stuck there or need a safe word. Just think you want to go back and you’re back. I think once you outlive your original life by a couple times you start to become naturally less detached to things in your original reality. At least that’s how it was for me. I just feel like there’s not much else I want from this experience. Shifting becomes so much easier the more you succeed and do it. The more apathetic about it, the less your life depends on it. I think for some people that they become too obsessed and reliant on it as an imaginary coping mechanism. There’s nothing wrong with use shifting as a coping mechanism or escapism is that subconsciously you just like the feeling the idea shifting gives you. Not what actively shifting will do for you. And you’re just seeking comfort in the dream of it. It that makes since. And the way to get out of that is to think of it as your life not an imaginary dream world. People that haven’t shifted for more than a few days don’t understand that it’s not just another daydream you fleshed out. It’s your life. Your desired reality will be your life. You’ll wake up there every morning, go to bed there, and experience everything. It’s a universe that has its own physics, its own laws and its real. And there’s differences in each reality people shift to because they want different things and characters there might not behave the same as they do in others.

You shouldn’t have an unhealthy attachment to it where you’re basically an addict. But there’s nothing wrong with treating it like a well loved hobby or favorite comfort. As long as you decided whether you want to live another life or escape to a daydream. Once you decide which one. Just shift. If you want a method find a method decide you shift that way each time or just pick a daydream to comfort yourself with it. That’s it nothing else. About living multiple lives. Sometimes they do run together here but I manifested a pretty low effort life for myself. So I have time to do what I want to do with everything taken care of. I don’t have a lot of people in my life that really take out too much energy so I’m lost in my memories most of the time. For some people that’s a big problem. If that’s a problem for you don’t shift as I often I do. I miss being there but for some reason I don’t want to leave there yet. Even though there’s nothing I want here anymore. I don’t mean that in a depressed way. Literally I just can’t imagine myself even remaining the rest of this year here. And I feel like I’m almost ready to leave here permanently but I don’t know yet.

I can still watch media and things from places I shift to because I’m amused by their behavior, it makes me feel like home I’ve never shifted to the canon world of Attack on Titan. Because I just think it’d be unpleasant. First of all Titans in my drs smell. You can smell them before you see them type of thing. Here’s a rant about something I never get a chance to talk about. Also the Yeager brothers lack in hygiene for some reason. I blame there father. Literally it’s atrocious. They were both clean as like teenagers and looked normal. Eren has very beautiful hair even when it was short. Grischa has very nice hair too. But they both are musty looking. They don’t look clean ever. It’s the strangest thing. And then there’s Zeke. See he can look clean. Eren and Grischa can’t. They just have a musty look about them. Zeke lacks in hygiene by choice. First of all he’s hairy everywhere which makes him scratchy. And he doesn’t know physical boundaries either. I think he knows if actually, I just don’t think it cares. And it’s so weird because in my dr, Grischa only divorced Dina. And she smells like expensive lotion but looks really clean and healthy. I just don’t know. And they’re both very good looking so I think they both get so much attention from the looks that they don’t care anymore. Which frustrates me to no end…But…That’s at least how they are in my drs.

I just finished the end of Ergo Proxy. And I’m so confused but I know when I shift there I’m going to eat so bad. And I’ve been seeing vulture circling around my home which I intended to him when I was close to respawning. But at the same time like what are you trying to tell me. Go shift and thanks for 500 followers!

#shiftblr #shifting #shifting community #shifting antis dni #shifting realities #sucess story #reality shifting #shifting tips #shifting blog #shifting consciousness #shifting stories #shiftinconsciousness #shifters

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newtthetranswriter · 2 days

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Could I request Gojo x male reader where the reader is a ballet dancer who is a part of the Zenin clan but ran away when they were in high school and Gojo doesn't see him again till adulthood and Gojo falls in love all over again and reader never stopped being in love and they reconnect

Dancing with Curses

Word Count: 3822

Paring: Satoru Gojo x male Zenin Reader

Warning: talks of Gojo’s past arc, the Zenin clan is trash, Canon typical violence, possibly ooc Gojo, let me know if I missed anything

A/n: Hello again, I truly did enjoy writing all of your requests. They gave me just enough information to feel free with creating the story but still having a base to work off of. Anyway I hope you enjoy and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Y/n Zenin may have been lucky enough to be born with a decent cursed technique but the fact that he had made it clear he was not interested in following the tradition of being a sorcerer, made it so he was looked down upon by the whole clan. For years he tried to fight the system but as the time for high school approached, Y/n was forced to make a choice. He decided that he would follow his family's wishes for just long enough to get enough money to escape the world he grew up in. For him going to Jujutsu High was just a stepping stone to reach his goal, he never expected to add another item to the list of things his family hated him for.

As previously mentioned, Y/n just wanted to save enough money to escape from the world of Jujutsu, he never planned to catch the eyes of Satoru Gojo. Apparently Gojo had been enamored with how graceful Y/n was with his technique and how he was able to mix Jujutsu with ballet seamlessly. Y/n on the other hand had felt Gojo’s eyes on him, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t see the beauty in the user of the six eyes. But Y/n knew that if he let himself fall or grow attached he would be further trapped in this dark world. So Y/n put his emotions in a box and distanced himself.

Finally after almost three years of dealing with the chaos and horrors of the world Y/n left. Having one of his underclassmen die in the line of duty, followed by one of his classmates turning against them, Y/n was done. He couldn’t handle the thought of spending anymore time watching people die for no reason, or seeing people who were once all about protecting turning to murder. So he gathered his belongings and left in the middle of the night. Leaving the world of Jujutsu behind, almost completely.

Being an outcast from a young age Y/n knew the signs of the Zenins pushing kids out of the inner circle. And even if it was still early and there were a few years left for her technique to develop, Y/n had a gut feeling Maki would need someone on her side. So before he completely wrote off the Zenin clan, he wrote Maki a letter. The girl was barely 4 but was able to understand the simple contents of the letter. Y/n had simply explained that he was always there for her if she needed anything and asked her to not share the existence of the letter with anyone. He also left his new phone number, telling her to call if she ever needed anything. After leaving the letter with his young cousin he left.

When it became clear to the Zenin clan as a whole that Y/n had up and ran away, they decided to act like he never existed. Writing his disappearance off as a blessing to not have to deal with him ever again. While most of the Jujutsu world moved on from the sudden loss, Satoru was unable to follow their lead. He spent the better part of five years looking for him. Unfortunately for him, Y/n did not want to be found and managed to hide himself well. Satoru eventually gave up.

Fast forward eleven years, and Y/n had put very little thought into the world he left behind. He took his freedom and did what he wanted. He became a professional dancer, letting his worries wash away. It was a relief to not think about death and curses everyday. But alas all good things come to an end at some point.

After a particularly tiring performance Y/n felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Seeing that the id indicated it was the one person he kept in touch with, he answered. “Hey, Maki what’s up? Is everything ok?” He asked, concerned. Even though Maki was only four when she got the letter from Y/n she respected his wishes and managed to keep it secret all these years. The reason Y/n became concerned was that when Maki got a phone they agreed she would only call if something was seriously wrong, otherwise she would text monthly just to check in.

The calm teen’s response nearly startled the man. “I know you said you would never return to Jujutsu High, but we need all the help we can get.” Maki explained, there was a hint of worry in her voice and Y/n knew that something was seriously wrong if Maki was asking him to come back. Before Y/n could ask for more information, Maki continued. “Some crazy guy declared war on Jujutsu Society and even though we have Gojo on our side everyone seems worried. There has been an influx of Sorcerers on campus and even Gojo seems concerned. I normally wouldn’t ask for you to come back but if Gojo is worried wouldn’t that mean having all hands on deck be the best course of action.”

Y/n took a moment to think about what Maki had told him. If someone declared war on Jujutsu Society then no big deal, curse users are stupid. But if said person had Gojo worried about it then there was only one person who could be leading this fight. Knowing that fact led Y/n to make a choice he never thought he would. “If it’s bad enough for Gojo to be worried, then having as many sorcerers as possible is a good idea. I’ll be there in the morning.” He knew he would likely regret going back to his old life but he knew the reality, it’s almost impossible to leave the Jujutsu world and stay gone.

“Thank you, I know you hate all of this but I’m sure you’ll be able to leave again when everything is done.” With that Y/n said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone. If he was really going to be returning to Jujutsu Society, he knew there was a very slim chance of ever getting out again, that is if he even managed to survive the impending war.

The next day as he promised Maki, he made his way to Tokyo. When he reached the path leading to the hidden highschool, he paused. Debating actually entering the barrier that protected the school and alerting everyone of his presence or just turning around and telling Maki he couldn’t help out. But before he could chicken out and run away again, he felt the presence of familiar cursed energy. Looking up at the stairs that would seal his fate of being part of this fight stood the one person he hoped he could avoid, Satoru Gojo.

It was clear that Gojo had changed since Y/n last saw him, having swapped out his usual dark sunglasses for white badges wrapped around his eyes, his hair was also longer and stood up with makeshift blindfold in place. Seeing the white haired male sent feelings Y/n had long suppressed bubbling to the surface.

It wasn’t any better for the Strongest Sorcerer. He couldn’t believe his eyes, even if he knew that his cursed technique is never wrong, his heart had a hard time believing that the Y/n Zenin was standing in front of him. Gojo had so many questions, like why did he run away, why didn’t he say anything, and most of all why is he back. Snapping out of his thoughts, Gojo moved down the stairs quickly, taking two at a time with ease thanks to his long legs.

“What are you doing here?” It came out harsher than he intended, but with recent events and the bubbling of long forgotten feelings, Gojo couldn’t help it.

Shaking his head to clear the fog, Y/n took in the tall man in front of him. “Well hello to you, Gojo. For the record I’m only here because Maki said that someone declared war and it had even you worried. And knowing you only one person could make you worried about a silly threat. So here I am, isn’t better to have extra hands on bored than facing Geto with fewer people.” Y/n answered, accidentally letting it slip that Maki had been able to contact him all this time. “Now that I’m here, would you mind telling me what exactly Geto is planning.”

Ignoring the request for information about the situation, Gojo focused more on the mention of his student. “Since when has Maki been able to contact you, she was like four when you left. Why would she call you for help?” When Y/n had left after the worry of what happened had passed, Gojo had been angry, and now that anger was showing itself all over again.

“Yes Gojo, Maki was four when I left. But you forget I was also raised in the hell scape that is the Zenin house. I also know what it looks like when those douchebags start making a child an outcast. When I left I gave her my phone number and told her if she needed me she could call. And you would never guess what happened. She saw that her teacher was worried over some psychopath declaring war on the people she cares about and called someone she trusts to ask for help. I’m not here for anyone but her.” Y/n clarified, and it was clear from his tone that he truly meant it. He was only coming back to the world of curses to help his young cousin. Not giving Gojo a chance to respond, Y/n brushed past him heading up the steps into the base of Jujutsu Sorcerers.

Gojo was left stunned by his own stupidity. The only guy he can remember ever truly having feelings for was right in front of him, and instead of expressing his joy of seeing him again he stuck his foot in his mouth. Watching after Y/n as he left, Gojo began thinking of ways to apologize for what just happened and ways to hopefully convince Y/n to stay even after they beat Geto.

On December 24th, Y/n opted to stay at Jujutsu High with Maki and Yuta as a line of defense just in case. Afterall he wasn’t technically a member of Jujutsu Society so it’s not like the Higher ups could actually tell him what to do. He also had a bad feeling about them sending everyone except a couple Assistant supervisors to the front lines. If Geto had asked Yuta to join his cause wouldn’t that mean he had an interest in the boy. So when the veil was lowered over the school, Y/n jumped into action.

He knew he didn’t stand much chance against a special grade like Geto, but he couldn’t just let the lunatic kill a young sorcerer. Y/n’s technique had only earned him the status of Grade 1 back in highschool, but that was eleven years ago and this would be his first fight since he left. He could only hope he still had the strength to hold off the Curse User long enough for help to arrive.

His own fight with Geto didn’t last long before a new contender entered the courtyard where the two adults were exchanging blows. Having also noticed the veil, Maki opted to join the fight. So now it was two on one, the two Zenin outcasts vs. the special grade Suguru Geto. The cousins were able to hold off Geto for about thirty minutes before Geto got the upper hand. The younger of the two had been severely injured, having likely multiple broken bones and severe cuts leaving her half conscious in a pool of her own blood. The older of the two was not much better off. Y/n had sustained a few broken ribs, one of which he wouldn’t be surprised to find out if it was digging into his lung as it was becoming difficult to breathe. But he was still able to stand and so he was still able to fight.

There was a brief moment that allowed Y/n to catch his breath, and that was when Geto paused, announcing a hole was made in the barrier. He seemed confident enough that whoever it was would be too slow and he could beat Y/n and take Yuta before they arrived. Y/n took in a few deep breaths, sensing the cursed energy of two people approaching fast. Seeing that Geto wasn’t reacting to it, Y/n waited until the wall exploded next to the long haired man before striking again.

Unfortunately even with the added help of Panda and Toge, they were still unable to beat him. When they turned their backs on Geto to check on Maki, the curse user took the chance to take out the oldest of the group. Striking Y/n in the back with curse, Geto managed to force the broken rib that was already threatening to puncture one of his lungs right through said lung. The force of the blow knocked what little air Y/n had in his chest out, and now with the loss of function in one of his lungs it was nearly impossible for Y/n to catch his breath. The two first years who were still able to fight tried to fight back but were unsuccessful.

Y/n fought to stay awake and even tried to warn Yuta who had appeared on the scene to run away, but alas with barely any oxygen getting into his body, he could barely make a sound. He was fading in and out of consciousness and couldn’t help but wish for Shoko to be there to heal his wounds. Slowly suffocating was really fucking painfull. The last thing he remembered before blacking out completely was Yuta using Rika to move the four injured sorcerers to safety and applying his own reversed curse technique to them. As the world faded Y/n silently thanked Gojo for not executing the young special grade.

Unlike the other three who woke up soon after Yuta beat Geto, Y/n was still unconscious three days later. While Yuta had been able to heal the majority of the injuries y/n had sustained, it seemed Shoko was needed for some of the more intense ones. When word got to Gojo that Y/n was injured and that even after Shoko had been able to treat his wounds was still asleep, Gojo was worried. He spent as much time as he could spare sitting by his bed in the infirmary.

Gojo spent the time thinking. Debating on how to thank Y/n for risking his life for the young sorcerers and trying to decide if it would be a good time to tell him he loved him. Yeah Gojo had officially decided that he loved Y/n Zenin, it wasn’t just a school crush. Having spent eleven years apart and suddenly seeing him again reminded him of everything he loved about Y/n. Even though he admitted to himself that he loved him, he couldn’t help but think that maybe telling him would be a curse to the man who clearly just wanted to escape the world of Jujutsu.

Caught up in his own reminiscing, he failed to notice that Y/n had started to wake up. He only noticed when he heard the quiet groan from next to him. Looking over he could see Y/n squinting his eyes at the light from the open window, and trying to take in his surroundings while still laying flat on the bed. Gojo quickly stood up, closing the blinds to darken the room, and then moved to help Y/n sit up. “Here let me help you sit up.” He said, causing Y/n to look at him bewildered. “I know I was rude the last time we talked but I was worried when they said you still didn’t wake up after both Yuta and Shoko used rct on you.” Gojo explained quickly.

Taking a moment to process the words said to him, Y/n looked around the room. Seeing a glass of water on the bed side table, he quickly took a drink before speaking. “How long have I been asleep? And what happened to the kids, is everyone okay?” He wasn’t that worried about himself, his main concern was whether or not the young sorcerers had made it out of the battle alive.

“Everyone is fine. Well, everyone on our side, that is, the kids are all okay. They’re taking a few days to relax before getting back to training. As for how long you were asleep for, well it's been about three days.” Gojo informed him. “And before you ask, Geto won’t be a problem anymore.” His tone of voice shifted from glad to something lingering with sadness.

Picking up on the change of tone Y/n understood what he was implying. “I’m sorry for your loss, I know you were really close before everything. But it’s great to hear that the kids are okay.” He said truthfully. Taking a moment to think of what to say next, one thing popped into his mind and he couldn’t shake it. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you have some important mission that only the Strongest can deal with?” Y/n asked, trying to switch the subject.

Having spent three days thinking over and planning for how to speak his mind didn’t prepare him for what he was going to say. “Um, I just wanted to express my thanks for you risking your life to protect the first years. If you hadn’t decided to show up or stay behind while we all went to the front line, who knows what would have happened to those four. I mean sure Panda probably would have been ok, but the others might not have been so lucky.” Gojo thanked him.

Y/n nodded along, but that didn’t fully answer his question. Gojo was there when he woke up, if he just wanted to say thank you then he could have done it after someone else told him Y/n was awake. “I think they would have been just fine. Maki is a strong fighter and Toge has a great understanding of his technique. And Yuta has a surprisingly great understanding of cursed energy for someone who just learned about curses a few months ago. But the strength of your students aside, Why are you here? And don’t say it’s just to say thank you. You were here when I woke up, if you just wanted to thank me then you could have gone about your day and then thanked me when someone told you I was awake.” He confronted the white haired male.

Gojo scratched the back of his head trying to decide if he should say he just happened to stop by to check on him right before he woke, or if he should tell Y/n the truth. Realizing he had been quiet for too long and that if he did lie Shoko would probably rat him out either way, he came to the conclusion that honesty was the best policy. “Well, I’ve kinda been here the whole time. Like I said before I was really worried when Shoko told me you hadn’t woken up after being treated. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He explained. Watching as Y/n’s face shifted from confusion to shock, Gojo couldn’t stop himself from talking more. “And I know this is probably a terrible time to bring this up, especially with how I reacted when you showed up the other day. But I really care about you Y/n. When you left back in highschool, I thought something terrible happened to you and I searched for you for years. I eventually figured that if you went through the struggle of leaving with out a trace there was probably a reason and so I stopped looking. But the worry turned to hurt and anger and I guess seeing you suddenly and hearing that you only came back for Maki’s sake, made that anger bubble up again. I understand you left for a reason and you probably want to leave as soon as possible after all this life is hell for anyone. But I do want you to know that you mean a lot to me.” This was the first time Y/n had seen or heard of Gojo letting his emotions out in such a clear way. Gojo was always calm and only really expressed deep emotions when fighting or teaching, so having him say all of that really shocked Y/n.

Y/n took a few moments to process everything Gojo said, before making the second life changing decision of the month. “While I left because this life is taxing and full of hardship, I don’t know if I can abandon it again. I wouldn’t mind sticking around and helping teach the next generation of sorcerers.” Y/n explained. “This isn’t a permanent situation though and I will have some requirements that need to be accepted before I commit to it. After all, I can't leave the ones I care about to fight alone if I’m able to lend a helping hand.” he finished making his intentions to at least stick around for a short while clear.

Even though Gojo was happy to hear that Y/n was going to stick around, he was confused by the wording of the last sentence. “Wait you said ‘the ones’ you care about, I thought you came back for Maki.” He couldn’t help but ask.

Y/n just laughed before responding. “You’re right I did come back for Maki. But there are more people here that I care about than just her. Now I may have just woken up from a three day nap, but I’m exhausted so if you don’t mind I’m going back to sleep.” With that Y/n layed back down rolling to face away from the tall sorcerer.

“Who else do you care about here? I’m confused.” Gojo really wanted answers.

Y/n responded even though he was half asleep. “That’s for me to know and for you to figure out Satoru.” And with that Gojo was left as the only one awake in the room.

He sat in silence processing what he had been told. And when he registered that y/n had not called him Gojo but used his first name for the first time, he couldn’t hide his smile. Deciding to let Y/n rest in peace he left to inform everyone about Y/n’s decision to consider staying at Jujutsu high for a while.

#x reader #jjk x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojou satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x male reader #jjk x male reader #x male reader #newt writes #Newt's 2024 pride event

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starmocha · 1 day

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the day bleeds into nightfall Zayne/MC | 1242 words | AO3 She was coming home soon. A/N: So, um, you know those text messages you get from the guys when you don’t sign in for 30 days or more? Yeah…this stemmed from that…oops.

She was coming home soon.

It had been over a month since she was assigned a mission in another town. Zayne always worried whenever she was taken far away from him, though he knew she was a strong, capable fighter able to hold her ground against any wanderers no matter how big or small.

He couldn't help it. It was in his nature to always worry about her, to fuss over her, nag her—love her.

To assuage his worries, he kept up the text message exchange, finding solace in sharing tidbits of his mundane life with her as he waited for her to return home.

She was coming home soon.

Zayne passed a poster, pausing to examine it before he snapped a photo on his phone.

He typed out a message:

They're holding a new Kitty Cards event next month. Didn't I promise you a rematch last time?

He attached the photo and hit sent. He took another glance at the poster, and resumed his walk home, already seeing her seething across from him when he would, without a doubt, win again.

She was coming home soon.

It seemed his schedule as of late had been packed with surgeries after surgeries. He hadn't been home much recently, choosing to sleep in his car or office for a little bit instead out of mere convenience. When he needed sustenance, the cafeteria food would suffice or he would stop by one of the eateries near the hospital. For some reason, lately he didn’t care too much for taste, finding no pleasure in the meals he ate. He simply needed food from a biological standpoint, desiring only the energy they would give him to carry on with his life.

Remember to eat and sleep on time, he sent the message at noon and then reclined the seat in his car for a few minutes of shut eyes before his next scheduled surgery.

She was coming home soon.

Zayne mindlessly scrolled through the suggestions of movies on the TV's streaming app, finding nothing particularly interesting. He passed the different movies displayed, not reading the titles or even registering the thumbnails, but eventually he finally settled on a random psychological thriller, though his attention continued to remain elsewhere.

As the opening credit started, Zayne looked down at his phone, already typing away a new message for her:

The movie you wanted to see should be released by the time you come home. I'll buy us tickets. Hurry back.

She was coming home soon.

It's going to rain next Thursday. Dress appropriately, and don't dilly-dally in wet clothes.

He stared at the sent message, and without thinking, sent another one as an afterthought:

I can't always stay by your side.

She was coming home soon.

One day, after a particularly long meeting with the hospital's esteemed medical staff, Zayne returned to his office and noticed the potted plant on his desk near the window.

He settled into his seat, grabbed his cup of water, and poured the remaining liquid into the pot. He looked at the growing plant fondly before snapping a single photo to attach to his message:

The daffodil we bought together is thriving. Hurry back so you don't miss its flower.

He leaned back in his chair, chuckling softly at the memory of her mistaking garlic bulbs for daffodils.

She was coming home soon.

He visited the bakery near the hospital, the very same one where they had run into one another during an afternoon rain shower.

As he stared at the assortments of delectable pastries in the glass display case, he found that they did not brighten his mood as usual. In the back of his mind, he could hear the different voices competing to be heard.

Zayne breathed in sharply, wanting the voices to be silenced, and ordered one mille-feuille, not noticing the workers' surprised expression, unused to seeing the sweet-toothed doctor order so little.

When he returned to his car, Zayne opened the cake box and scooped a single forkful into his mouth.

If I have something sweet, I'd be happy, even if it was a bad day.

He dropped the plastic fork and broke down in his car.

That evening, he sent her another text:

Have you eaten yet? There is a new hot pot restaurant that opened downtown. Hurry on back to me. I'll let you indulge to your heart's content.

She was coming home soon.

He heard the hushed whispers, caught the sympathetic glances from his peripheral vision.

Greyson told him it was okay if he needed to take time off. All of the doctors at the hospital were ready to cover all of his shifts for as long as he needed.

At first Zayne dismissed everyone, baffled by their unusual reactions. It was just another normal day. Patients were in and out of the hospital like clockwork. There was no time to waste with small talks like this.

It was just another normal day. Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, and the—

Zayne froze in the middle of the operation, his hands shaking as he heard the staff around him fall into a state of panic as the fifteen-year-old patient started experiencing Evol-related complications during the cardiac surgery. Normally level-headed, he found that he was unable to will his body and mind to act accordingly. He stood there, watching through blank eyes, this perfectly crafted world of his crumbling as the memories of the past three months stared him down in the surgery room in a cruel taunt.

She was coming home soon.

She was coming home soon…

At first, he couldn't hear any of the yelling from the surgery staff. Everything and everyone sounded like they were underwater, just muffled voices competing to be heard. Even everyone's movements seemed sluggish, as if time had slowed down, prolonging this hellish moment.

When Greyson rushed in and yanked Zayne away from the surgery table, screaming in his face, he immediately snapped out of his daze, and moved quickly to stabilize the patient, barking out orders to the staff.

By the end of the grueling, nerve-wracking hour, the young patient pulled through to everyone’s relief. Within twenty minutes, Zayne put in his request for an extended leave and offered his sincerest apology to the patient's family for his carelessness.

As he quietly left Akso Hospital, he heard the hushed whispers again, seeing the sympathetic glances from his peripheral vision.

He wished he was deaf and blind.

For the first half hour, he drove aimlessly through Linkon City before he found himself leaving behind the neon lights and heading to the cliffside on the outskirt of town overlooking the city. On the horizon, the colorful lights of the city competed for dominance with the bright stars in the night sky.

Zayne pulled out his phone, his fingers were already typing out a message for her, recalling his earlier incompetence. Halfway through the message, his eyes landed on the past conversations. He shakily scrolled up, reading the familiar one-sided conversation with an increasingly fast heartrate.

His breath hitched when he finally found one message from her, dated three months earlier:

Zayne, when I come home, let's make up for lost time! My treat!

He dropped his phone and screamed.

Three days later, he placed a small bouquet of jasmine for her.

“I miss—I love you…”

She was not coming home.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace fanfiction #lnds fanfics #x ; fics #fanfics #happy monday #i wrote angst #here to bum everyone out like zayne's new myth did to me

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windmaedchen-oceanhorn · 2 days

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Okay, just a few more sketches. xD

Today I noticed that Valen's Affinity Tales were reworded! Dang, I didn't save the old ones, now I can compare them only with my memory. They didn't change the content of each tale, but they feel more specific now.

This post spoke about some beta backstory for Valen and even though none of that is mentioned in his tales and no interaction between him and Fay... I really like to accept as my headcanon that they are siblings. Their designs are too similar: same hair and eye colour, even their personality is similar. They have also been shown together in the first AFK Journey trailer! xD So...

Valen and Fay are siblings

He's eight years older

Due to his habit of "taking strolls" outside the castle/home rather than staying for lessons or whatever else, he's actually got little to do with his sister. He is not all that much interested either, given the age difference.

Fay is aware of her brother, and while she is quite fond and attached to him when he is around, she is very young and only 8 years old when he leaves. She's a little bad with faces and after his departure she doesn't study family photographs enough to ... remember or recognise him straight away so many years later.

Since Valen left an 8 year old girl behind, he's got trouble recognising her also, even though she sure as heck looks familiar.

In order for this to work, I imagine that Valen might actually have a different birth name, but introduced himself as "Valen" whenever outside his home and it stuck ever since. Fay wouldn't know that, only his "real" name. Something like Ferdinand or Viktor ... xD

In turn, Valen probably met too many "Fays" to even give it another thought when they meet. He would never expect his sister to be anywhere else than on his home island, too.

Since the circumstances of their meeting is tense and the threat of the golems prominently on their minds (as well the drama between "the two girls") ... even if Merlin or anyone else saw the similarities between them, they were too distracted to follow up on that.

I do hope that the devs get back to their attempt to make them siblings and show us future interactions between them. Hopefully Valen will continue to be a returning companion, with some chances to reveal more about himself or, in this case, also Fay's background. <3

#afk journey #afk valen #afk fay #my art

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nilefreemans · 2 days

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for your ship and au post, bucktommy old guard au?

okay okay

Buck is Immortal, he died in Pennsylvania during the Revolutionary War and likes to joke all the time that he's older than the US

finding the others had been very hard for him, he had been the youngest immortal and had a whole ocean separating him from them

years of loneliness and watching your family die, plus hundreds of years of war and seeing humanity at its worst does weigh on Buck, but he does his best to ultimately see the good in everything, and he takes his immortality as a chance to learn, to help people, it's something he reminds the others

eventually, the years go on and he goes with the others to help, it leads him to meet a young pilot, freshly deployed at 22 years old after he obtained his military pilot license

Buck doesn't mean to be, but he's drawn to the kid, Tommy is young and tries to hide it, but Buck knows loneliness like an old friend and sees past it

Tommy helps get them out of a tough situation, and in the dark in a camp in a desert, he takes a chance and kisses Buck under the stars

Buck knows he shouldn't

but he does

it ends though, when one of the others gets "killed" and they need to leave, they were only there for a mission and Buck has to leave Tommy behind, he shouldn't get attached anyway

that doesn't mean he doesn't keep tabs on the kid

he learns that Tommy's been discharged, that he's in the States again and that he's becoming a firefighter

sometimes, he imagines going to LA, finding Tommy and telling him that it wasn't just a few nights for him, that he regrets leaving

most times Buck thinks about the centuries of living he has, of the baggage that comes with being immortal, that this could only end with him living on and Tommy would eventually die

fast forward and they have a mission, sex traffic ring out in LA and they need transport and Buck shouldn't, but he's in charge of transport and it's been 20 years

he asks Tommy anyway

the mission goes sideways and Tommy definitely holds Buck as he dies and then resurrects and suddenly Tommy knows who Buck really is

Tommy doesn't run

they catch up and Buck takes a break and he lets himself just slow down and be human, even if it's for a little while, because how can it be pretend when he's in love?

AND HERE IS WHERE OUR STORY SPLITS TO POSSIBLE ENDINGS

one ending is Tommy gets caught up in everything, and he knows Buck can heal, he knows the others can as well, but he can't stand by to watch their suffering and he goes in to help them/save them and it results in his death, Buck wearing his dog tags for the next how many centuries he lives, eventually the name wears off from how Buck rubs at the metal but he never forgets Tommy's name and the love they had

Tommy and Buck have their decades, Tommy gets older and Buck watches as he ages, he gets grey and people joke about Tommy being Buck's uncle - Tommy dies quietly in their home, peacefully in his sleep, the last thing he ever said to Buck was "I love you"

Buck loses his immortality and learns what it's like to age with aches and pains, but he has Tommy at his side and he's at peace with his death

Tommy ends up dying, his blood spilling out onto the street from a bullet that was meant for Buck - hours later he gasps back to life and Buck doesn't have to lose another loved one

send me a ship + an AU and I'll give you a summary on how I think the AU would look like

#bucktommy #anon I could kiss you this is like two of my fav things #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 abc

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babyseraphim · 15 hours

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i saw you say something about how trauma can make one appear autistic/etc (on the edwin post where steve yockey said he wasn't autistic), i was wondering if you could share a little more about that? it was interesting to learn and makes a bit of sense. /nf

I can try my best! I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD and in intensive trauma therapy for the last 3 years now, so I know some stuff, but I am in no way an expert. I'm just speaking from experience and what i've learned in therapy!

I think something to keep in mind is that things like C-PTSD and PTSD can delay the development of the brain - which is why some people actually consider C-PTSD to be a type of neurodivergence (though that’s not been medically confirmed). This is something that’s more prevalent in cases of very early childhood abuse, but I think that in Edwin’s case, given that he’s a teenager that went through 70 years of trauma, it can still apply. It can cause delays in social development (inability to connect with others and a persistent feeling of being an outsider being the two major effects), which results in difficulty in being vulnerable with others (though I think Edwin’s existence as a gay man in the 1910’s also plays into his difficulty with connection). There’s also a conversation to be had about attachment styles and how those come into play, but that’s a topic for another post.

People with C-PTSD can also have a very difficult time with change or unpredictability, because things being unpredictable often leads to an inability to feel safe. C-PTSD is developed by being subjected to inescapable environments that are consistently traumatizing for extended periods of time, and that trauma is often of an unpredictable nature (as seen with Edwin’s experience in Hell). In order to maintain some semblance of safety, people with C-PTSD can sometimes develop strict routines or habits that will provide a grounding structure to the world around them (sometimes reminiscent of behaviors associated with OCD and/or autism)

People with C-PTSD are also most often hypervigilant, which can lead to sensory sensitivities and sensory overload because of how permanently dialed in they are to their surroundings. I think that’s also part of what makes Edwin such a good detective; he notices everything. This can also lead to a heightened startle response, which is something we’ve seen from Edwin in the show.

this is by no means an exhaustive list, but here are some other traits that autism and C-PTSD often share:

dissociation

difficulty managing intense emotions

use of stimming to manage emotions

difficulty relaxing/sleeping

negative beliefs of self/the world

higher risk of repeated victimization

Hope this helps, and let me know if you have any other questions! I’m happy to share my knowledge

#dead boy detectives #dbda #dbdshow #edwin payne #my writing

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saythenametotheworld · 13 hours

Text

Closer, Faster [1]

Genre: catching feelings; strangers to lovers; smut Pairing: SEVENTEEN Vernon x Reader Warnings: mature themes, explicit sexual content, what's the opposite of slow burn? LONG FIC! Notes: 22k words, song prompt was Closer, Faster by Against the Current. 22k and it's just the first part? Crazy, ik. I feel the need to explain that the reason I write long fics is because I'm a massive yapper irl Synopsis: For good reason, you have forbidden yourself to get emotionally attached to temporary people until Vernon comes walking in and wrecks you to your very core.

As you walked down the halls of your university, you could hear the campus buzzing with excitement and vibrant energy. Around you, students were rushing to submit final assignments or hurrying from one place to another, taking care of last-minute tasks on the final day of the semester. Some had disheveled hair and tired eyes, while others looked fresh and ready for the summer season.

Walking back to your dorm, you passed groups of friends snapping photos, capturing memories of the past few months. The campus felt like it was collectively exhaling, finally free from the usual chaos of activities. Your belongings were packed up, and your room was now stripped of the personal touches that made it home.

Your roommate, Adie, sat on the edge of her bed across from yours. “Leaving already?”

“Yeah, my chariot awaits,” you said with a smile, tossing the last of your belongings into your purse. You exhaled, looking around the room and already missing it. “I guess that’s everything, huh?”

“Yep. You’ve scoured every corner of this room for your stuff. I’m sure you didn’t miss anything.”

You extended your hand to her. “It’s been a blast, roomie.”

Adie rolled her eyes and chuckled as she shook your hand. “You talk like we’ll never see each other again. We both know we’ll end up being roommates again next year, right?”

You shrugged and laughed. She wasn’t lying. You had been roommates with her for two years now. After freshman year, you both agreed to always share a dorm room every semester, and that’s exactly what you had been doing. You might be saying goodbye now, but you would see each other again in the fall semester and be roommates then too.

“So long, roomie.”

Adie waved as you exited the room. “So long, roomie.”

“Stay in touch!” you reminded her.

The flight home was quick, just an hour and a half. Sometimes you wondered why home felt so far away when it was barely a two-hour flight from your school. Everything about your city felt familiar yet new. As your taxi drove you closer to home, the familiar scent of the ocean filled the air, and the salty breeze swept through the open windows. The sight of the coastline, with its rolling waves and sandy shores, brought a rush of nostalgia. After many months away, the beach house where you grew up felt like a warm embrace waiting for you.

When the taxi pulled over by the sidewalk, you stepped out and took in the view, removing your sunglasses. The house looked just as you remembered—a picket-fenced house with whitewashed walls, grey roofs, black shutters, and the sound of seagulls calling in the distance.

You walked through the open gate, hauling your luggage as you scanned the garden for any changes in the flowerbeds or landscaping. The honk of a car horn made you glance back at the road just in time to see a Jeep pull over in front of your house.

You smiled, recognizing the tall brunette stepping out of the driver’s seat. With a wave, you beckoned her over and opened your arms to welcome your best friend with a hug.

“Hello, stranger,” Jade greeted, pulling you into a tight embrace. “You’re so late!”

You rolled your eyes. “Unlike you, my education is more demanding and requires every bit of my attention.”

“Sucks to be you, then,” she snickered. “Come on. Your mom and I scheduled a brunch together.”

You scoffed but didn’t need to ask for more details. With her help, you moved your luggage into the house, where your mother greeted you warmly. Over brunch, you talked about school, the journey home, and everything in between. After that, you and Jade climbed up to your room to lounge and chat all morning. In the afternoon, you donned your swimsuits and set umbrellas by the beach, equipped with a book to pass the time and cocktails for an extra bit of fun.

Azure Bay is a picturesque coastal town renowned for its breathtaking beach, attracting locals and tourists alike. The beach itself stretches for miles, with soft, golden sands meeting the crystal-clear waters of the ocean.

During the day, the beach is alive with activity. Families set up colorful umbrellas and picnic blankets, children build intricate sandcastles, and surfers ride the gentle waves. In the evenings, the beach transforms into a serene, romantic getaway. The sky paints a stunning palette of oranges, pinks, and purples as the sun sets over the horizon. Bonfires are a common activity where friends and families gather to toast marshmallows and share stories under the sky. Beachfront bars and cafes are filled with lively music and even livelier tourists.

You never particularly enjoyed the swarm of tourists that descended upon Azure Bay each summer. It wasn't that you disliked them in general; you understood why they were drawn to the town's pristine beaches, charming boardwalk, and the laid-back, coastal vibe that felt like paradise. What irked you were the tourists who tried to flirt with you.

It was always the same story. You'd be walking along the beach, or lounging in a beach bar when some guy would approach you with a confident smile and a cheesy pickup line. They were usually good-looking, and charming in a way that was hard to resist, but you knew better. You have seen too many summer romances that bloomed beautifully only to die out when the season ended.

You disliked the idea of developing a beautiful, intimate connection with someone only to watch them pack up and leave once the summer break was over. The thought of investing your emotions in a fleeting romance, knowing that it had an expiration date, felt pointless.

As much as you tried to avoid it, there were always those moments when a particularly persistent tourist would catch you off guard, like right now as you were sitting on the beach bed reading a book. A tall, tan guy with a surfboard strolled up to you.

"Ooh, looks like you're about to score a European hottie on your first day back," Jade teased, peeking at you over her sunglasses. "Good job, sug."

He introduced himself with a casual "Hey there," and you could see the gleam of interest in his eyes.

"Hi," you smiled back, tilting your head to the side.

"I'm just here to catch some waves," he said, flashing a perfect smile. "But I'd love to catch up with you later, maybe grab a drink?"

You heard Jade scoff and then whistled quietly like she didn't just ridicule the guy. He seemed clueless about it though.

You forced a polite smile, trying to keep your voice neutral. "Thanks, but I'm not really looking to meet anyone right now."

He seemed surprised but didn't push further, thankfully. "Well then, see you around."

He winked at you before jogging back where he came from. As soon as he was out of earshot, you and Jade started laughing.

"What the hell was that?" you chuckled.

Jade took her sunglasses off and smoldered at you. In a deep, manly voice she said, "I'm just here to catch some waves."

You smoldered too, trying your best to replicate the guy's expression and tone. "But I'd love to catch up with you later, grab a drink with me?"

"Oh god! It's always the same old cheesy ass lines!"

The following days were filled with simple, repetitive activities: lounging at home, sunbathing by the beach, reading in peace, and swimming with your mom and Jade. It was a week of mundane routines that you didn’t mind at all, though the same couldn’t be said for Jade.

If there is one thing you both hate and love about your best friend, it is her tendency to come up with crazy ideas when bored. They're fun most of the time, but they often include a side quest for her, which is to set you up with someone.

Four days into the summer break, you were sitting with your back against the headboard of your bed, a book in your hand, listening to Jade complain about being bored.

“There's nothing to do at all!” she groaned, kicking her legs in the air as she scrolled through her phone. “Not one rowdy pool party, or a mixer. Not even a birthday!”

She sat up and huffed. “Has summer always been this boring?”

“No.”

“Right? Not here in Azure Bay! This is like an all-time low.”

You chuckled, adjusting your glasses on the bridge of your nose and not peeling your eyes away from your book. “Relax. Summer break is just starting. I doubt everyone’s back from uni yet.”

“Right. That’s exactly why there’s nothing to do,” she huffed. “Your friends are so boring.”

“They’re your friends too, Jade,” you corrected her, referring to your high school friends from this town.

Jade fell quiet, so you continued reading. Until she suddenly scooted next to you, her eyes lighting up as if she had just had a brilliant idea.

“I have an idea,” she began, smiling brightly. “You’re gonna love this.”

You just shrugged, as if giving her your permission, or support, whichever she might need. She began tapping away on her phone again. When you heard your phone buzz on the bedside table, you put your book down and picked up the phone.

Jade: anyone up for summer break in azure bay?

“That’s your big idea?” you deadpanned, eyeing the chatheads of the people who have read her message in your group chat.

She hummed. “I know. I’m a genius.”

You snorted, scrolling through your phone. “More like impulsive. But go on.”

Jaehyun liked. Adie: Azure Bay? Like your hometown? Jade: yes yes Trina: me! Eunwoo: Me too! Jade: eunwoo, you’re not invited Eunwoo: ???

You scowled. “You can’t not invite Eunwoo. He's already set to come here with your Jaehyun next week, remember?”

“Ah, right, he is,” Jade replied, rolling her eyes.

Jade: jk. But if you hog y/n all to yourself, istg!!! Eunwoo: not my fault she likes me better than you lol

“That’s not true!” Jade hollered at her screen, making you chuckle. She then scowled at you, giving you a suspicious look. “It’s not, is it?”

You shook your head to appease her, though you never really once thought you had to pick a favorite between your two closest friends.

Jade: FALSE Jade: TOTALLY UNTRUE Jade: but dream on, ig Jade: what about the others? Adie? Adie: Here! Also,,,, I think y/n likes me best. Eunwoo: not true Jade: yeah, NOT TRUE! 8: Count me in! Jade: you're only in bcs trin's in 8: lol true

"He's not even denying it. This bitch," Jade sneered, but she was grinning.

Jade: Mingyu? Mingyu liked. Jade: Kim Mingyu?! Mingyu: yes Mingyu: it's not a party without me Jade: i'm sure we'll manage Jade: but okay. you're counted

And so everything was settled. Your friends are coming to spend the summer break with you in your hometown. You can already imagine how fun it’s going to be. Fingers crossed, you hoped this summer would be memorable—the best one yet.

“How’s it going?” you asked, stepping onto the patio with a tray of food while your mom was setting the table.

“Good, I hope,” she replied, staring at the dining table set up with furrowed brows. “Do you think that spot looks a little—I don’t know… empty?”

You inspected the spot she was pointing to and giggled. “That’s because that spot is for the enchiladas,” you chimed in, placing the tray you were carrying on the table.

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.”

You gave her a reassuring squeeze on the arm. “Relax, Mom. I’m sure they’ll love it.”

She sighed, smiling apologetically. “I feel bad about not letting them stay.”

“It’s alright, Mom. We understand,” you reassured her. “And Jade’s got it covered. Their house will be empty for a month anyway, so she doesn’t mind housing our friends all summer.”

When you discussed accommodations with Jade, you considered offering to let a friend or two stay with you, but your mom didn’t agree. She was working on a big project, and you knew better than to burden her with strangers disrupting her concentration and clutter. This dinner party was her idea, her way of apologizing to your friends. She didn’t have to, but she insisted, saying she didn’t want them to think you were unwelcoming.

“Hello, hello,” Jade greeted when you opened the main door in response to the doorbell.

“Hi!” you greeted back, ushering them in and giving each of your friends a hug. They all looked excited, a few even brought gifts for your mom. Minghao and Trina had prepared an actual gift box, Adie was carrying a bottle of wine, and Eunwoo had a bouquet of flowers.

As you moved aside to let everyone in, you noticed Mingyu standing with someone you didn’t recognize.

“Hello, Gyu,” you said, giving him a quick hug. “Who’s this?”

“This is Vernon,” Mingyu introduced, clapping a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “He’s my roommate's classmate. Had nothing going on for summer break, so I thought I’d bring him along.”

“Your roommate’s classmate. Mr. Congeniality is at it again, I see,” you sneered, teasing your friend. To Vernon, you smiled warmly. “Nice to meet you, Vernon. Welcome to Azure Bay!”

“Thanks,” Vernon replied, smiling back a little shyly. “Nice to meet you too.”

You were intrigued by Vernon but didn’t question his presence further. Instead, you guided everyone to the patio where the table was beautifully set. Your mom greeted each guest warmly, expressing her gratitude for their gifts.

“Wow, this looks amazing!” Trina exclaimed as she took her seat.

“Thanks, Trina. I hope you all brought your appetites,” your mom said with a grin.

As everyone settled in, the conversations started to flow naturally. The aroma of delicious food filled the air, as well as laughter and lively chatter.

“So, Vernon, Mingyu’s roommate’s classmate,” Jade began, leaning forward with a curious look. “How did you even end up being friends with that guy?”

Mingyu scowled at Jade, looking indignant but he couldn’t retort because there was food in his mouth.

Vernon chuckled. “His roommate Jungwoo and I are in a class together. I hung out in their dorm room a lot when we were working on a project. Mingyu’s great, honestly. Keeps the place lively. Plus, he’s always cooking up something interesting.”

Mingyu laughed. “Hey, someone’s got to make sure we don’t starve!”

“I’ve heard about your cooking skills, Mingyu. My daughter said you can rival my cooking,” your mother said, playfully raising an eyebrow. “You’ll have to make us something while you’re here.”

“Ma’am, your mind will be blown. Deal!” Mingyu agreed, grinning.

As the meal continued, you found yourself sneaking glances at Vernon, who seemed to be fitting in well with your group. He was quiet but contributed thoughtfully to the conversations.

As the evening wound down, Jade clapped her hands together excitedly. “Alright, guys, now that we’re all well-fed, who’s ready to hit the party?”

You looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “What party?”

“The one at the beach!” Jade exclaimed. “Apparently, a bunch of people from our high school are throwing a welcome-back bash. I thought it’d be the perfect way to kick off the summer.”

“I didn’t know about this,” you said, glancing at the others.

“Sounds like a good time,” Vernon added, looking curious.

You smiled, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves. “Alright, let’s do it. It’ll be nice to see everyone again.”

“Great!” Jade said, practically bouncing with energy. “Let’s clean up here and head out.”

With everyone pitching in, the cleanup was quick and efficient. Soon, you were all ready to head to the beach, anticipation buzzing in the air. As you stepped out into the warm night, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that something about this party would catch you off-guard.

“It’s okay, y/n,” Jade beamed at you, slinging an arm over your shoulder. “No need to worry too much. It’s just Winwin.”

You gasped audibly, stopping in your tracks as you stared dumbfounded at Jade, your mouth still hanging open. “You sneaky little—”

“Jaehyun, baby! Wait for me!” she called out to her boyfriend before running to him.

The thought of going to a party and seeing an ex you hadn't seen in a long time was far from enjoyable. You stood there in shock, wondering if it was too late to turn back. Just then, Eunwoo wrapped his arm around your shoulder and gently nudged you forward.

“Are you okay?” he asked, striding with his long legs and dragging you with him.

“Fine. That was ages ago anyway so,” you replied nervously.

“What do you mean?” Eunwoo questioned curiously. You sighed and gave him an exasperated look. “Oh, shit. Winwin is gonna be there, isn’t he?”

“Who’s Winwin?” Mingyu questioned, appearing on your other side with Vernon.

“Keep your nosy ass out of my business, okay?” you chided, pointing your index finger at him.

Mingyu laughed, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. No need to get feisty.”

You caught Vernon glancing at you with curiosity in his eyes. Then Mingyu tapped his chest and said, “Azure parties are awesome.”

Vernon smiled, nodding in acknowledgment. “Let’s hurry there then,” he suggested lightly.

As you all walked down the beach path, the sound of music and laughter grew louder. The beach was lit up with string lights and a bonfire, casting a warm glow over the gathering crowd. You could see familiar faces from high school, mingling and enjoying the summer night.

Trina and Minghao were already dancing near the bonfire, and you saw Jade and Jaehyun chatting with a group of old classmates. Adie was by the snack table, happily munching away, and Eunwoo was making his way to the drinks station.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to dive in and make the best of it. You spotted a quieter corner near the shoreline and made your way there. Vernon tagged along, but kept a respectful distance, allowing you space.

“Not a fan of big crowds?” he asked, glancing at the bustling party.

“Not really,” you admitted. “I prefer smaller gatherings. Less chaotic.”

“Hmmh, I see,” Vernon hummed, nodding.

“You?” you asked back just to be polite. “I doubt you disliked the crowd.”

“What makes you think so?” he questioned.

“You’re friends with Mingyu. I mean… Mingyu is you know… Mingyu. Life of the party. If you’re close to him, I figured you might be the same,” you explained as you both watched Mingyu take over the entire party.

Vernon looked puzzled but intrigued. “But he’s your friend too, right? And yet I don’t see any similarities between you.”

“Ah,” you blurted, chuckling. “Good point.”

Vernon chuckled, his laughter warm and genuine. He was about to say something more when a group of familiar faces approached. Recognizing some high school friends, you greeted them warmly.

“Elise!” you called, standing up to hug her. “Harper too. Wow, I thought you girls would never show up.”

As the night went on, you mingled with old friends, danced around the bonfire, and even managed to enjoy yourself. At one point, you found yourself standing by the drinks table when you spotted Winwin approaching. Your heart skipped a beat, but you decided to face it head-on.

“Hey, y/n,” Winwin greeted with a smile, holding a cup of punch. “Long time no see.”

“Hi, Win,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light. “How’ve you been?”

“Pretty good, actually. I just got back from uni yesterday. How about you?”

“Same here. I’m back for the summer too,” you said, feeling more relaxed as the conversation flowed naturally.

Winwin grinned. “Cool. It’s great to see you. We should catch up properly some time.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you agreed, surprised at how friendly the interaction was.

As Winwin moved on to talk to someone else, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. You joined the bonfire again, where your friends were gathered, their faces illuminated by the warm, flickering glow of the flames.

Jade spotted you and waved you over. “Hey, come sit with us!” she called, patting the sand next to her.

You sat down, feeling the heat of the fire on your skin. The conversation flowed easily, with laughter and playful banter filling the air. Then you found yourself standing by the drinks table again, pouring yourself another cup of the spiked punch.

“Hello again!” Winwin approached you again, a friendly smile on his face. “Having fun?”

“Yeah, it’s been great,” you replied, smiling back. “How about you?”

“Me?” he quipped, taking a sip of his drink. “I’ve had six bottles of beer and maybe a liter of this punch.”

You laughed heartily, deeply humored. You and Winwin fell into an easy conversation, reminiscing about old times and catching up on what had happened since you last saw each other. His laughter was contagious, and soon you found yourself giggling until your cheeks were sore.

“Remember that time in high school when we snuck out to the beach at midnight?” Winwin asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Oh my god, yes!” you laughed. “And we got caught by the patrol officer. I thought we were going to get into so much trouble.”

“But we didn’t,” Winwin said, grinning. “We talked our way out of it. Good times.”

“Definitely,” you agreed, feeling a warm sense of nostalgia.

A burst of giggles made your heads turn in unison. From where you stood, you saw Vernon surrounded by girls, all of them smiling and giggling at something he said. Your eyes met his gaze, catching you off guard. Vernon just smiled and gave you an acknowledging nod.

“I see you made a lot of new friends,” Winwin prompted.

“Yeah, thank god. I had zero idea how to navigate life in a completely different school, and an entirely different city,” you replied, rolling your eyes in frustration. “Good thing Jade was there. These people basically found me first.”

“I knew you’d fare well. You’re an amiable person,” he complimented.

“Amiable?” you snorted. “That’s a nice word.”

Winwin shrugged and then clinked his glass with yours. “I learned plenty of big words in college.”

That comment made you laugh again while Winwin watched you fondly with a proud expression as if he was satisfied with his own humor that made you laugh. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe he was just genuinely funny. You weren’t so sure, but you knew you were having a good time.

“Hi,” Vernon prompted, suddenly appearing beside you and making you shriek.

“Oh, god, Vernon,” you scolded, clutching your chest in shock and laughing at the same time.

“Having fun?” he asked, his curiosity piqued.

“Just reminiscing about high school and stuff,” Winwin explained with a chuckle.

“Oh, sounds interesting,” Vernon said, grabbing a cup of punch. “Anything I should know about?”

“Only that we were quite the troublemakers back in the day,” you said with a wink.

“Is that so?” Vernon said, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll have to keep an eye on you then.”

You laughed and nudged his arm with your elbow. “Don’t worry, I’ve mellowed out since then.”

“Good to know,” Vernon said, smiling. To Winwin, he said, “By the way, you were great at charades earlier.”

“Thanks,” Winwin replied, a little confused by the unexpected compliment. “I had a good time.”

“Hey, I scored the highest, but you’re complimenting him?” you complained to Vernon who just shrugged.

“He’s the one acting it out,” he retorted so you scoffed.

“Unbelievable!”

The conversation continued with Vernon and Winwin exchanging jokes and stories. It felt natural and comfortable, like catching up with old friends. As the night went on, you found yourself relaxing more, enjoying the company and the atmosphere.

Eventually, the party started winding down. You glanced around at your friends, feeling a sense of contentment. This summer was shaping up to be better than you had expected. As you walked back towards the bonfire, you felt a flicker of curiosity about Vernon. He was unexpectedly fun and you found yourself vibing with him easily. At the back of your mind, you hope he’s not trying to hit on you or something. After all, this was just another summer. A great summer with the potential to be your best yet, but still just another summer.

The next morning, you woke up at Jade’s house, tired and hungover but still rising early. You slipped quietly out of Adie’s assigned bedroom, careful not to disturb her sleep. Outside the room, you tiptoed down the hallway, making sure not to wake anyone else.

“Leaving already?” a voice called from the balcony, startling you so much that you dropped your shoes on the wooden floorboards.

The sound echoed through the house, and you froze, hand over your mouth, listening intently to see if anyone had been woken. Vernon blinked at you, clearly puzzled by your reaction.

“Are you okay?” he asked, an amused smile playing on his lips.

“Yes, I’m fine!” you whispered urgently, pressing a finger to your lips to signal for silence. “Be quiet, will you? You're gonna wake everyone up."

He shrugged and stood up from the chair he was sitting on, approaching you. “Are you leaving already?”

“Yeah. I need to take a shower,” you replied, feeling grimy and imagining how you must smell after a night out. You eyed him curiously and saw he was wearing fresh clothes. “Why are you up so early?”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Just felt like it.”

“No hangover or anything?” you questioned, surprised by his chipper demeanor.

“Nah, I’m good,” he replied nonchalantly.

“Lucky you,” you muttered as you continued down the stairs, Vernon trailing behind. “As for me, I need to go home and pass out. Gosh.”

“Don’t you need a ride?”

“I’ll grab a cab. It’s not that far,” you replied.

“Do you have food there?”

“What?” you asked, thinking you’d misheard him.

“Food,” he repeated.

You blinked at him, puzzled. Vernon just stood there, looking clueless yet endearing in the morning light.

“Food?” you repeated, and he nodded. “Yes, we have food. Why?”

His face lit up. “Can I come with you?”

Now you’re even more confused. “Why?”

“Oh, I woke up early and I looked for food in the kitchen but there wasn’t anything ready to eat. Nothing easy to cook either.” He flattened his lips together before adding, “I’m hungry.”

You chuckled at his straightforwardness. “Come on then.”

With that, Vernon grinned and followed you out the door, the morning sun casting long shadows on the quiet street. Your house was quiet when you arrived, but the windows were open, and the curtains were drawn, a clear telling that your mom had already started her morning. Leading Vernon inside, you caught sight of your mom in her office, her attention momentarily diverted from her computer as she noticed your arrival.

“You’re back so early! Did you have breakfast yet?” she called out, her voice carrying through the house.

“Actually,” you began, glancing back at Vernon behind you. “No, I haven’t.”

“Sorry, sweetie. I didn’t know you’d be back early, so nothing’s prepared in the kitchen,” she replied from her desk.

“It’s okay, Mom. I’ll whip something up. Oh, and I've got a friend with me,” you added.

“Oh, you do? Silly me,” she chuckled, standing up and heading towards the door of her office. “Make something nice for your friend, okay? I have work that I need to finish by today.”

“Sure thing,” you affirmed, smiling as she closed the door. “Would you like me to bring you food in there?”

You heard her muffled response. “No, baby. I’ve already eaten!”

“Wow, okay. Not a baby anymore,” you muttered to yourself, feeling a slight flush of embarrassment. Turning back to Vernon, you said, “Do you mind waiting while I go freshen up?”

“I don’t mind,” he replied, settling onto the couch and pulling out his phone.

You took a quick shower and got dressed comfortably. As you headed to the kitchen, you mentally surveyed the ingredients available, already formulating a plan for breakfast. Vernon followed you when he saw you, his presence bringing a comfortable energy to the space.

“So, what’s your specialty?” Vernon asked, leaning against the kitchen counter with genuine curiosity.

“Hmm, I’d say my omelets are pretty decent,” you replied, pulling out eggs and vegetables from the refrigerator. “But today, I’m thinking scrambled eggs with toast. What do you think?”

“I eat anything and everything,” Vernon said with a grin, taking a seat at the kitchen island.

As you chopped vegetables and cracked eggs into a bowl, you engaged in light conversation, discussing topics ranging from favorite foods to travel destinations. It was easy, effortless, and surprisingly enjoyable.

Before you knew it, the eggs were sizzling in the pan, filling the kitchen with a mouthwatering aroma. The toast came out perfectly golden, and you served two plates of food, setting one in front of Vernon and the other across from him.

“Thanks so much,” he said, smiling as he picked up his fork.

“Do you know what’s the plan for today?” you asked, taking a bite of your breakfast.

Vernon shrugged. “Swimming.”

Your eyes flicked to the patio where the outdoor pool glistened. “At Jade’s house?”

He shook his head. “I think she mentioned the beach. Some of the guys want to try surfing.”

“Oh, so they’re heading here today,” you said, glancing out toward the shoreline. “The perfect spot for surfing is right outside this house.”

“I see. So I can just wait for them here?”

“You could, but don’t you need your gear?”

“If you mean my surfing gear, I don’t have any.”

You scowled playfully. “Then how do you plan to surf?”

“I’m hoping if I walk along the beach, I’ll find a rental shop or something.”

You chuckled. “You don’t need a rental.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you said proudly, nodding.

Once the kitchen was tidied up, you led Vernon to the backyard and showed him the shed where you kept your swimming and surfing gear. He looked impressed by the collection of surfboards, wetsuits, and even fishing equipment.

“Do you surf?” he asked and you rolled your eyes. There are at least five boards in that shed, shouldn’t it be obvious enough?

“Do I?” you quipped. “Yeah, I do. Did. I haven’t surfed in a long time.”

“Why not?” He reached for a purple board, carefully pulling it from the rack.

“I just lost interest. No grand reason behind it. My dad taught me how to surf but we haven’t done it in a long time so… yeah,” you trailed off, watching him put the board back where it belonged.

“You still remember how, right?” he asked, and you just shrugged. Then his eyes lit up as he spotted something. “Is that a spear?”

“Oh, that’s my dad’s,” you said, pushing the fishing gear further back into the shed. “He used to do a lot of spearfishing.”

“Cool.”

Your brows furrowed. “Cool? Didn't you say you were an environmentalist?”

“Spearfishing is fine as long as it’s practiced responsibly and with respect to local regulations and conservation efforts.”

You nodded in acknowledgment. “I see. Well, in that case, my dad is a pretty responsible fisher. He used to be the head of the coastal preservation council here.”

“Your dad sounds really cool. Is he around?”

“He is cool,” you said, smiling proudly. “But no, he’s not here right now.”

“I see,” Vernon replied, leaning against the shed door as he watched you rummage through the items. As you were looking through the snorkeling box, you accidentally knocked over another box and sent the contents spilling all over the floor.

“Oh, god,” you groaned, picking up the items on the floor. Vernon was quick to help you, chuckling.

“What are these?” he asked, examining the surfwax bars.

“It’s surfwax. You rub it all over the surfboard so you don’t slip,” you explained, taking the stuff from his hand to pack it away. When it was done, you lifted the box to put it back on the shelf.

Vernon chuckled softly. “Here, let me.” Before you could protest, he reached out and took the box from you, his fingers brushing against yours for a moment.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, stepping back to give him space. But instead of moving away, Vernon stepped closer, his focus entirely on the shelf as he lifted the box into place.

You felt a sudden rush of shyness as his arm brushed against your shoulder, the proximity making your heart skip a beat. The scent of his cologne, fresh and woodsy, filled the air between you, and you could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“Is this the right spot?” he asked, glancing down at you with a smile, completely unaware of the effect his closeness had on you.

“Uh, yeah,” you stammered, your cheeks flushing. “That’s perfect.”

Vernon adjusted the box, making sure it was secure before stepping back. But instead of moving away, he turned to face you, his face just inches from yours. You could see the tiny flecks of gold in his big brown eyes, and the playful smile that often danced on his lips. The room seemed to grow quieter, the moment stretching as you both stood there. For a moment, neither of you moved, caught in the unexpected closeness.

“Are you okay?” he asked, startling you so you took a step back. In doing so, you kicked the foot of the shelf and knocked over a bucket sitting on top of it. Cool water splashed all over you and Vernon, making you gasp in shock.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, patting his shirt as if it would help dry him in any way.

Vernon looked down at his soaked self and chuckled. “That’s one way to cool off.”

“Oh, god. Why is there a bucket of water in here?” You looked up at the top of the shelf and noticed a small dot of light pouring from a hole in the roof. “That hole seriously needs patching up. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“It’s fine. We’ll go swimming later anyway,” said Vernon, squeezing water out of his shirt.

“But I don’t know for how long that water’s been sitting there,” you said shyly. It may be just rainwater but you know it hasn’t rained in Azure Bay for more than a week now.

“Oh,” he exclaimed, realization dawning on him.

“Follow me.”

You led him to the poolside, pointing to the outdoor shower. “You can rinse off there. I’ll find a towel and something for you to wear while your clothes dry.”

“Ah, how convenient.” Vernon smiled gratefully. “Thanks, y/n.”

As he rinsed off, you quickly fetched a towel and a spare pair of shorts from the poolside storage. You were drenched too, but you can rinse off in your bathroom upstairs. In the meantime, you headed back to Vernon with the spare clothes and the towel.

You approached the shower area, holding out the towel and shorts. “Here you go—” The words died in your throat as you caught sight of Vernon, his shirt already off, revealing a well-toned torso glistening with water. He turned, surprised, and for a moment, you were both frozen.

“Uh, thanks,” he said, taking the towel from you, a shy smile spreading across his face.

You felt your cheeks heat up and quickly turned away, trying to steady your racing heart. “The, uh... The washer is by the kitchen. You can throw your clothes in the dryer.”

"Alright."

"Right. I'll let you finish up."

You hurried inside, your mind swirling with the unexpected sight of Vernon. As you headed to your bathroom, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of embarrassment and something else you couldn’t quite name. After a quick shower, you changed into dry clothes and took a deep breath, trying to collect yourself.

When you returned to the poolside, Vernon was lounging on a chair, wearing the shorts you’d given him and toweling off his hair. He looked up and grinned.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

You nodded, keeping your eyes on his face and not letting it wander on his bare chest. “Yeah. You?”

“Much better,” he replied, still smiling. “Thanks for the help. I guess I owe you one.”

You waved it off, smiling back. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Right,” he agreed, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You heard car horns honking from outside so you told Vernon to feel at home before heading to the gate. As expected, it was your friends arriving for the surfing thing they had planned for today.

“Fucking finally,” you muttered, trying to level your head after the tense events that transpired with Vernon.

“Vernon? Why, what’s up with him?” Jade inquired after you asked her about Vernon.

“Nothing. He’s just…” you paused, trying to find the right word. “...intriguing.”

“Intriguing? Interesting choice of word, y/n,” Trina teased, hitting your waist with hers as you both stood in front of your full-length mirror to see how your bikinis looked.

“I think she meant he’s cute and she’s interested,” Adie taunted from your bed.

You rolled your eyes at them. “I’m just curious, alright? Aren’t you? I mean, he’s new and we barely know him.”

“Oh, I do know him,” Trina said. “He’s friends with Hao too, you know. His name is actually Hansol Chwe.”

“Hansol Chwe?” you repeated curiously.

“Yeah. But Vernon is his english name. He’s actually a sophomore and he transferred from… I’m not sure where, but he’s a new student,” Trina continued.

Jade snapped his fingers. “Then it makes sense that he hasn’t hung out with us until now. He’s a neophyte.”

“So, what about him intrigues you, y/n?” Trina asked, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

“Did you two have a cutesy romcom-ish morning together?” Adie accused, pointing at you. “He had breakfast here, right?”

Jade interjected. “Or did you hook up while we were passed out at home?”

You gasped, scandalized. “What? Hook up? What do you take me for?”

“Ah, so you didn’t.”

“Did you make out while you were alone here or something?” Trina asked.

“You guys are crazy,” you told them, heading for the door. “We didn’t do any of that. We just ate, that’s all.”

“It was a cutesy romcom-ish morning, then,” Adie giggled, trailing behind you.

“It was not that either,” you insisted. “I’m done talking about this. He’s just another guy.”

Right, he is. A handsome guy, for sure, but he’s just another pretty guy. You’ve met countless pretty guys. Hot guys have flirted with you several times, especially on this beach. You’re friends with pretty guys. And you have, most certainly, seen them walk around topless plenty of times. Eunwoo is a literal angel. Jaehyun and Minghao are eye candies. And did you see Mingyu’s physique? You are literally surrounded by hot guys that you don’t even bat an eye on anymore.

So why is it that you can’t look at the topless Vernon without your heart skipping a beat?

“Y/n, come here!” your girlfriends called out from the shore. You just waved your arms, not even moving an inch from where you were comfortably seated.

On one side of the bay, you could see the boys on the surfboards, paddling on the calm waters since the tide wasn’t high enough for surfing. Vernon was making his way towards you, leaving the board on the sand.

“Reading while everyone’s having fun? Are you not like other girls?” he quipped, standing next to the beach bed where you were reading a book.

“I simply just had enough saltwater,” you replied nonchalantly, hiding your nervousness behind your big sunglasses.

“So, not like other girls?” he repeated, sitting on the beach bed next to yours.

You chuckled lightly. “Trust me, Hansol, I’m just like every other girl.”

“Hansol?”

You glanced sideways at him. “It’s your name, isn’t it?”

“It is, but no one calls me that,” he replied. “You can call me Hansol, though.”

“I’m honored,” you retorted, chuckling as you returned your attention to your book. “But I won’t do that. It’s not like we’re close or anything.”

“How close do you need us to be?” he asked. You glanced back at him, just in time to see him lean closer, stopping just a few inches away so your noses don’t touch.

“What are you doing?” you asked, trying not to stutter. You could only hope that your sunglasses were dark enough for him not to see your eyes.

A mischievous glint flickered in Vernon's eyes as he leaned in even closer, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “Is this close enough?”

“Move back,” you whispered, barely audible because you were sure you’d kiss if you so much as breathe.

He obeyed, slumping back on the beach bed with a content smile. Only then did you breathe properly again. Irritated, you stood up and walked away, leaving your book behind. After several steps, you glanced back to see Vernon had taken your book and was now reading it.

“She’s coming this way!” Adie shouted, pointing at you as your friends turned to look.

Eunwoo and Mingyu rushed out of the water, their eyes twinkling with mischief. Recognizing their intentions, you started running along the shore to escape them. But your limbs were no match for their long strides. They eventually caught up to you, and Mingyu swooped you up by the waist. Shrieking and kicking your legs in the air, you cursed at him, but he ignored you completely and leaped into the water with you.

Your splash into the cool water was met with laughter from everyone around. The initial shock of the cold quickly gave way to the exhilarating fun of being in the water. Mingyu's grip loosened, allowing you to find your footing in the shallow water, though you were already drenched from head to toe.

“Eunwoo, you traitor!” you called out, splashing water at him.

He laughed, dodging your attempts. “Hey, it’s not my fault you’re a slow runner!”

Vernon eventually waded into the water, holding one of your flip-flops above his head. “Look what I saved from the water!”

“Give it back!” you demanded, wading toward him.

He grinned, holding it just out of reach. “You’ll have to catch me first!”

It turned into a game of tag, with you chasing Vernon around to retrieve your slipper. After several minutes of playful chaos, you finally managed to snatch it from Vernon’s hand, clutching it triumphantly to your chest. But your victory was short-lived after Jaehyun sneaked up behind you to steal it again.

He held it up, making it impossible for you to reach it. “How long before you can take this from us?”

“Us?” you questioned and Jaehyun responded by tossing the slipper to Minghao, who then threw it to Eunwoo.

The game of tag resumed and continued as your girlfriends joined in, making it a game of Boys vs. Girls. You splashed and chased each other and the beach echoed with laughter and shouts of joy.

After a while, the group tired out and decided to take a break under the beach umbrellas. You spread out towels and settled into the lounge chairs, feeling the sun's warmth on your skin as it dried off the seawater. The boys sat on the towels, discussing the best surf spots and the timing of the tide.

“It should be high tide soon, right?” Jaehyun asked, glancing at you since you were the more experienced surfer in the group, thus making you more well-versed in the tides.

You looked at the sea, and then at your watch. “Yeah, it should be. Look the waves are getting bigger.”

Mingyu whistled excitedly. “It’s going to be epic.”

“Shouldn’t be long now,” you commented, leaning back on the beach bed and closing your eyes.

As you lay there, soaking in the sun and the sound of the waves, Eunwoo turned to you with a playful smile. “You should come out with us and show these newbies how it’s done.”

“Pass,” you deadpanned. “I’m tired.”

“You’ll miss out then,” he countered.

“I’ll get over it.”

“I could teach you,” Vernon offered, making you open your eyes to look at him. He smiled when you caught his gaze, but you just rolled your eyes and wore your sunglasses.

“Hard pass.”

Vernon scoffed, indignant. “What? I’m actually quite good at it.”

“Really? Have fun then,” you said monotonously. You were not just trying to be aloof. It was true that you were tired from all the playing and the swimming.

Time passed lazily as you lounged under the umbrellas, the sun slowly descending towards the horizon. You even snoozed for a bit, waking up with a jolt and wondering if you were out for three minutes or a whole hour. You saw that your friends were already surfing and the only ones left in the shade were you and Adie.

“That was a good one, Haohao!” you heard Trina shout and saw her waving happily by the shore.

The sight of them paddling out into the surf was captivating. They cut through the waves with practiced ease, their shouts of triumph carrying back to shore whenever they caught a particularly good wave. Vernon, true to his word, was a natural, effortlessly gliding along the waves.

You continued to watch from the comfort of your lounge chair, enjoying the peaceful rhythm of the waves and the distant laughter of your friends. As the sun dipped lower, painting the sky in breathtaking shades of orange and pink, the surfers finally began to make their way back to shore. Groaning and sighing, everyone settled down to dry off and bask in the warmth of the remaining sunlight. You stayed longer to watch the sunset, take pictures, and feel the warm dusk breeze.

“Should we head back to the house?” you suggested, glancing at the darkening sky.

“Yeah, I’m getting hungry,” Mingyu agreed, pouting.

Gathering your belongings, you all made your way back to the beach house. The walk was filled with more lighthearted chatter and the occasional burst of laughter. By the time you reached the house, the first stars were twinkling in the sky.

You were amazed to find barbecue being prepared at the poolside patio by your mother and Elise, a high school friend of yours. She greeted you and Jade with hugs and giggles.

“Oh, mom, you didn’t have to do all this,” you told your mom, feeling grateful and shy.

“It’s alright, hun,” she chimed, flipping the barbecue over. “I had help from Elise here.”

You eyed Elise, equipped with tongs and a black apron over her dress. “I bumped into her at the grocery store and she invited me over for dinner.”

“Thanks for coming. Jade and I were actually talking about hanging with you guys a while ago,” you told her while you ushered your friends to the shower area so they can wash up.

“That can be arranged, but if you haven’t come up with anything yet, you should join us next weekend.”

“Next weekend?” you questioned, opening your mouth to accept the piece of barbecue your mom was feeding you.

“Talk about it later, girls. After you’re cleaned and decent,” your mom chided softly, poking your bare waist and grimacing at your bikini.

Giggling, you headed inside the house and heard your mom telling you not to step on the carpet with your sandy feet. Seeing the carpeted floor of your living room and stairs, you decided not to climb up to your bedroom and use the kitchen bathroom instead.

Quietly slipping inside, you locked the door behind you, only to freeze when you turned to find Vernon standing under the showerhead, a look of surprise mirrored on both your faces.

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, instinctively covering your eyes with your hands. “Don’t you lock doors when you’re using the bathroom?”

Vernon chuckled, his relaxed demeanor contrasting with your flustered state. “I was here with Mingyu. He didn’t lock it when he left.”

“You were here with Mingyu?” you asked, surprised and maybe a little malicious.

“No. He let me in after he was done,” he clarified and then you felt warm water being splashed at you. “Take your mind out of the gutter.”

You looked straight at him, feeling defensive. “I didn’t say anything!” He wasn’t completely naked. He still had his shorts on.

“You were thinking it,” he retorted, smirking. He turned the shower on, closing his eyes as the water hit his face.

Nervous, you turned the knob but it was locked. You fumbled with it for a few seconds, suddenly clueless about how it worked.

“You don’t have to leave. I’m done here,” he said after a while, turning the shower off.

“Hurry up then.”

You watched him reach for the towel and wipe his face as he walked towards the door. Realizing you were in front of it, you moved aside so he could leave. Instead of heading for the door, however, Vernon went straight to you, not breaking eye contact and stopping only when your feet touched.

“W-What?” you stammered, trying to maintain your composure as you met his gaze. Vernon didn’t say a word and just stared at you. Shy, you looked away and pushed him.

He held your hands and kept it on his chest. Then he said, “I need my clothes.”

“Your clothes?” you questioned, still not meeting his gaze. “Yeah, it’s up in my room. You can ask Jade for them, or Adie. They’ll know which one it is.”

He tightened his hold of your hands when you tried to withdraw them. Softly, he said, “You know, I think I've been wanting to do something for a while now.”

You looked up at him. “What is it?”

The tension between you lingered in the air, thickening with each passing moment as you found yourselves locked in a silent exchange of gazes. Vernon's eyes bore into yours, searching for something that you weren't sure you were ready to give.

"Just say 'no' and I'll be on my way," he finally broke the silence, his voice low and tinged with a hint of uncertainty.

You swallowed hard, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air as you struggled to find the right response. But when you opened your mouth to speak, the words caught in your throat, leaving you speechless. Vernon seemed to take your silence as an answer.

Your whole body ached with anticipation as you inched towards each other, the distance between you narrowing until there was barely a breath of space left. Each moment spent together today had been leading up to this, a series of shared glances, lingering touches, and unspoken words building a tension that was both exhilarating and terrifying.

And then, without warning, his lips met yours in a tender kiss, sending a rush of warmth coursing through your veins. It was soft, gentle, and fleeting as if you were both testing the waters. Then you met again in another kiss, this time deeper, more urgent, and more intense. With ease, your tongue pushed inside his mouth, clashing with his. Then he bit your lip just enough to make you moan. You held on to his arm, knees weakened by the tingling sensations and the swirling emotions. Vernon held your back firmly, keeping you in place.

By the time you pulled away, you were both breathless and shocked. Vernon flashed a handsome smile, his breath fanning your face as he chuckled a little. His hands trailed down to your arms, holding them gently.

“I liked that,” Vernon echoed, his voice barely a whisper. “I liked that a lot.”

You giggled shyly, touching your lips. “Shut up.”

“I mean it!” he insisted, biting his lower lip as if to savor the lingering feeling of the kiss.

“Alright! You mean it. Be quiet about it!” you chided jokingly.

As Vernon and you were caught up in the aftermath of your kiss, a sudden knock on the bathroom door startled both of you. You exchanged a quick, bewildered glance before Vernon moved to open the door very slightly. To your surprise, it was Mingyu standing there. You pressed your finger on your lips, gesturing at Vernon to not let him know you were there.

“Jade said these are yours,” said Mingyu and you saw Vernon take the clothes in his hand.

With a forced smile, Vernon replied, "Thanks, man. I'll be out in a minute."

Mingyu's brow furrowed in suspicion as he peered into the bathroom. "Alright, but hurry up. We're all waiting for you."

As Mingyu turned to leave, you held your breath, praying he wouldn't be suspicious. Once he was out of earshot, Vernon let out a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his hair. You awkwardly walked to the shower, facing the wall so Vernon could get dressed. After about two minutes, you felt him approaching you from behind and pressing a quick peck on your cheek.

“I’ll see you outside?” he asked.

Smiling, you nodded and tilted your head to face him. “Sure.”

It took a while before you could calm down and properly wash up. And a few more minutes of pacing around your room before you got dressed and joined everyone for dinner. Everyone asked what took you so long and you coughed up a random excuse as you sat on the vacant chair next to Eunwoo. Your eyes met Vernon’s throughout the night, while you were thinking about the potential complications of your newfound connection.

You were on a quiet beach, eerily familiar but also unfamiliar. Waves crashed against the rocks, breaking the quietness of the night. The moon hung high in the sky, giving the sea an enchanting, silvery twinkle. The air was calm and cold as you scanned the horizon, your heart racing with curiosity and apprehension.

“Where am I?” you asked yourself, walking towards the array of beach beds and closed umbrellas. As you were about to sit, you were startled by a loud sound of waves crashing against the rocky cliff up ahead. You glanced in that direction where you could see a figure illuminated by the ethereal moonlight.

“Who’s there?” you called out, only for your voice to echo back into your ear. The eerie sound made you gasp and in a blink of an eye, you found yourself lying on the grass. The sun was bright, stinging your eyes, so you tried to block it with your hand.

“I’ve been wanting to do something for a while now,” said a voice beside you that you immediately recognized. You glanced sideways, and lying on the grass next to you, was Vernon, his eyes filled with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine.

Your vision blurred again, the scene shifting into an entirely different place. You were panting and moaning as you straddled Vernon, a scent of perfume and sweat permeating the air. His grip was strong on your waist and your head was tilted back, lost in the moment of passion. He then touched your face, willing you to look him in the eyes.

But just as you were about to speak, to lean in and kiss his lips, the dream shifted, dissolving into darkness as you were pulled back into the realm of wakefulness. You blinked, disoriented, trying to understand what had just happened.

“Oh,” you blurted, and hearing your own voice caused a bolt of electricity to shoot through your body, jolting you awake.

Gasping for breath, you sat up in bed, your heart pounding in your chest. The remnants of the dream clung to you, vivid and almost tangible. You glanced around your darkened room, the shadows and furniture outline bringing you back to reality. It had felt so real, so intense. And yet, it was just a dream.

Frustrated, you buried your face in your hands, shaking your head violently as if to expel the lewd images in your mind. Then for a moment, you sat there in the silence of the night, the memory of the dream still fresh and unsettling.

“What the actual fuck,” you sighed, shocked, scandalized, and utterly bewildered. The sensations, the closeness—it was too much.

Just then, your phone buzzed, breaking the silence. You grabbed it from the bedside table, squinting at the screen to recognize the username of the person who had followed you. Not that you needed any effort; ‘vernonline’ was practically a complete government ID.

“Of all the people who could decide to follow me right now,” you muttered, swiping to see his profile. You scrolled through his posts as you lay back down, stopping at a particularly good-looking photo of him. As you studied his features, images from the dream started flashing in your mind, making you toss the phone away and bury your face in your pillow.

“Gosh, y/n, what the hell was that?” you scolded yourself, kicking your sheets aggressively and stopping only when your phone buzzed again.

You peeked at your screen and saw that Vernon had messaged you.

Vernon: Can’t sleep? You: Can’t. Vernon: What are you up to?

“Having sex with you in my dream, dumbass,” you blurted, exhaling sharply.

You: Idk, nothing. Vernon: Meet me at the bay by your house?

You scowled, dictating as you typed a reply. “‘Now?’” Biting your nails, you stared at your screen as you waited for his reply.

Vernon: Yes. I’m out here right now

“What?” you blurted, standing up at once and rushing to your window to see if he was telling the truth. Sure enough, there was Vernon, seated on one of the beach beds. The beach was a distance away, but you could clearly see him, his face illuminated by the glow of his phone. You decided to call him, and he picked up quickly.

“What are you doing out there?” you asked, glancing at your watch. It’s almost midnight.

“I don’t know. I was walking down the beach from Jade’s house, getting some fresh air. I didn’t stop until I realized how far I’d come. Then I saw that I was almost at your house, so I just kept walking.”

“Stay there,” you told him, hanging up. You grabbed a jacket and rushed out of the house to meet him.

Vernon greeted you with a sweet smile, tilting his head handsomely as you approached. He looked cozy in his black hoodie and denim jeans. As you drew nearer, you couldn't help but wrestle with the vivid memories of your dream and your sanity's efforts to push it to the back of your mind.

“Walking from Jade’s house all the way here? Surely you can come up with a better excuse,” you joked as soon as you reached him.

Vernon chuckled heartily, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “Alright, you got me. I came all the way here just to see you.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of excitement and nervousness. The dream had left a lingering impression, and now here he was, as real as the cool night breeze.

“In the middle of the night?” you asked, sitting on the chair opposite his.

“Yes. And I did walk all the way here.”

You scowled, unconvinced. “No, you didn’t.”

“Actually, I did. It’s not that far if you follow the beach line,” he said, then pointed somewhere behind him. “See that bright light there? That’s Jade’s house.”

You looked at where he was pointing, squinting to see the faint glow in the distance. “Wow, you really did walk all the way here,” you admitted with a hint of surprise in your voice.

Vernon shrugged casually. “Told you so.”

A comfortable silence settled between you as the sound of the waves filled the air. The moonlight cast a soft glow over the sea, and you could hear the faint music from the beachfront bars nearby.

“So, what made you walk all the way here?” you asked, breaking the silence. “Can't sleep?”

He shrugged, his gaze fixed on the gentle waves lapping at the shore. “Yeah. Thought maybe a walk would help clear my mind.”

“Did it?” you asked, curious about what was going on in his mind.

Vernon turned to you, his eyes catching the faint moonlight. “Not really. But seeing you... that helps.”

You felt your cheeks warm, grateful for the dim light hid your blush. Scoffing in feigned indifference, you said, “Smooth talker.”

He laughed, the sound blending harmoniously with the night. “I don’t know. You’ve been running in my head all night. All day, actually.”

“Did you come here to sweet talk me?”

“Nah, I came because…” he paused, hesitating. Then he sighed, deciding not to continue. “Forget it. What’s the dream about?”

You froze, not expecting the question. “What makes you think I had a dream?”

“You looked like you were woken up from a good sleep,” he said, a teasing smile playing on his lips.

You laughed nervously. “Just a random dream, nothing important.”

Thankfully he didn’t press for answers and quietly leaned on the beach bed. There was no exchange of words for a while, and you sat there feeling impatient and nervous. You didn’t want to leave yet but you couldn’t find a reason to stay.

“Do you regret it?” Vernon asked quietly, his voice calming your jittery hands. “The kiss?”

Looking at him, you shook your head. “No, I don’t. Do you?”

“Not for a second,” he said firmly. “I just don’t know where to go from here.”

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. “Maybe we don’t need to have all the answers right now. Maybe we can just... see where this goes.”

Vernon studied you for a moment, then nodded. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Vernon rose to his feet and occupied the space next to you. You were nervous, but you didn’t shy away from him this time. When he lifted your chin to meet his gaze, you placed a hand on his neck. When he leaned in for a kiss, you met him halfway and with equal eagerness. Next thing you know, you were moaning on the beach bed, Vernon’s kisses peppering the skin along your neck while his hands roamed your body.

Your hand was firm on his back, holding on for dear life as he explored your body for the spots that electrified you. Eventually, his lips found their way back to yours, sucking, nipping, and biting while you pressed your body against his. Your jacket has long been discarded, and your skin is wet with sweat despite the cool evening breeze. Vernon was impatient, having kissed every inch of your neck and collarbone before you gave him permission to go further.

He lifted your nightgown first, revealing your belly where he left a trail of sweet little kisses. His touch was electric, sending your mind spiraling with lust and anticipation. Then he stopped in front of your underwear, breathing warmly against it before cupping it with his big hand.

“You sure you wanna do this?” he asked, snapping you back into reality.

You blinked, looking around at the deserted beach. Then you immediately sat up, fixing the straps of your nightgown back in place.

“What the hell are we doing?” you exclaimed, standing up at once. Vernon’s face dropped, looking disappointed and understanding at the same time. You picked up your jacket on the sand, grabbed his hand, and led him to your house.

Vernon tugged you back, locking you in his arms and asking, “Are you sure?”

Groaning, you tiptoed to kiss him. “Very sure. Just not here.”

You slipped into the house quietly, careful not to wake your mom or make a sound. At one point, Vernon almost knocked over a plant hanging by the staircase. Luckily, he caught it before it could hit the floor and you laughingly put it back.

As soon as you reached your room, you grabbed Vernon’s collar and kissed him. Vernon was just as excited, brazenly slipping his hands underneath your nightgown to feel the skin of your back and grab a handful of your ass. A moan escaped your lips when he gave it a squeeze. You grabbed his hand to stop him from doing it again.

“Sorry,” he grinned, pecking at your lips.

“No, I like it. But don’t do it. We can’t be loud,” you whispered, reaching behind him to turn the lock on your door. “My mom’s a light sleeper.”

“Right, okay,” he obliged before swooping your cheek to kiss you again. “Any chance you have condoms tucked away somewhere?”

“Crap. I don’t,” you replied, brows knitting together. “But I’m on the pill.”

“Okay. Good.”

By the time you reached the bed, Vernon had discarded his hoodie and your nightgown lay on a heap on the floor. Neither of you wanted to stop kissing, but you had to when you climbed the bed and laid on your back.

“Wow,” he blurted, feasting his eyes on the nakedness before him. The way he smirked and bit his lower lip at the sight of you made you feral. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?” you asked shyly, feeling self-conscious.

He crept up to you, propping himself in his arms as he hovered over you. Then he whispered, his voice deep and melodic. “I knew you looked way better without those bikinis from earlier.”

Normally, you’d be all red and embarrassed if someone complimented you. But right now, all you are feeling is a boost of confidence and the strong urge to challenge his patience.

“Oh yeah? Now that explains why you were ogling me all day,” you purred, one hand on his neck while the other traced a line from his cheek down to his chest.

Vernon smirked. “Says you who gave me nothing but shorts to wear all day.”

You giggled when he kissed your neck. “That was unintentional.”

He hummed against your skin. “So are my occasional glances at your bikini-clad ass. Let’s not hold it against each other, love.”

The endearment had your stomach fluttering as you were dragged into the vice of his lips again. You matched his fervor, tugging, biting, battling your tongue with his, running your fingers through his scalp and grabbing a handful of his hair. His lips moved to your breast, one hand fondling the other as his tongue circled and sucked on your nipple. You cried out when he pinched it, and your hand flew over your mouth to prevent yourself from making any sound– however too late it may be.

“Vernon,” you called softly, squeezing your thighs together.

Vernon flashed a playful grin before he reached between your thighs to touch your clothed sex. “How quickly can you cum?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Why? Are you in a hurry or something?”

“Not at all,” he replied, shaking his head. “I need to know if I want to impress you on our first time.”

You groaned, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Can we just save that for next time?”

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled, holding your knees and parting them. “You’re an impatient one.”

“And you’re chatty,” you scoffed, kissing him once more as he ripped your underwear off.

“Don’t you know how important communication is?” he teased. Without warning, he took a long, wet lick of your cunt, sending pleasant shivers down your spine. You bit your lower lip, stifling the lewd sounds of pleasure that were trying to escape your mouth.

Then he repeated it several times more before positioning himself between your legs. You didn’t even notice that he had taken off his pants. Your entire body ached with lust and anticipation for what was about to come. Vernon took his sweet time peppering your neck and chest with kisses.

“Vernon,” you pleaded with desperation in your voice, throwing all self-respect out the window.

The tip of his cock prodded your cunt, pushing ever so slightly as he tried to test how difficult or how easy it would be to get in. You gasped when his head went in, and whimpered when he bottomed out in one go. A delightful pain shot through your body, one that’s electrifying and satisfying. The way his dick stretched you was wonderful, nearly perfect.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his face twitching with what you can only assume as satisfaction.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you whispered, breathless and exhilarated.

He moved once, observing your reaction. After another thrust, he was able to confirm that you were doing fine so he started bucking his hips rhythmically, sending ripples of pleasure through your body. As he kept going, you tried to keep quiet but it proved difficult when he was ramming into you while sucking the skin on your neck. You were holding back so hard that you could only whimper and gasp, leaving you so frustrated that you felt like crying.

Vernon's grip under your thighs tightened, his breathing erratic as he tried not to make loud sounds. His strangled grunts, the sharp intake of air, along with the raspy curses and quiet whispers of dirty sweet nothings in your ear made you dizzy, so much that you swear you’re seeing stars on your ceiling.

“So… fucking… tight,” he grunted, thrusting harder and deeper.

“Oh, god,” you mewled, and repeated your words again when he continued, “Oh, god, Vernon!”

You thought you could go for a long time, but the slight change in his pace reached places you never expected him to find so easily. You arched your body towards him, digging your nails on his shoulder as you neared the sweet bliss of release. Your eyes were rolling back, going out of your mind due to intense pleasure.

“Vernon,” you murmured, brows knitting, puppy-eyed, and biting your lip. “Please… Please don’t stop… Aagh— don’t you… fucking… stop!”

Vernon heeded your plea, losing his mind over your desperate face. He locked your lips in a kiss, muffling your moans as the twisted knot in your belly exploded. Mouth hanging open, you felt lightheaded and weak, every sound fading into a static noise as every ounce of energy left your limbs.

Your vision shifted out of focus for a second, and then you were met by Vernon’s proud smirk. Sighing in relief, you reached to wipe the sweat on his forehead. He was still inside you, moving very slowly as you basked in the joy of your orgasm. He looked hotter in this view, a thin sheen of sweat covering his entire body.

“How was that?” he asked, smirking. You rolled your eyes to discourage his smug attitude, but the grin on your lips was evidence of your satisfaction. He added, “Mind if I finish?”

Suddenly, it clicked. He wasn’t done yet! “Please. Go ahead.”

Vernon inhaled sharply before he started ramming his hips into you again. The sensations rushed back into you, making you gasp and whimper. He was going at an unsteady but brutal pace, thrusting faster and harder as he chased his orgasm. With a rough grunt and one final thrust, he pulled out and sent streaks of cum across your belly. You reached for his cock to jerk it off, making him groan due to overstimulation. After he was done, he hovered there for a few seconds and then fell on a heap on top of you.

“Wow,” he rasped, panting.

“Yeah,” you breathed, immensely weakened. "Wow."

The dream must have been a premonition. Or it might be the manifestation of the pent-up tension between you all day. Either way, it didn’t matter. What mattered was this moment, right now. The figment of your imagination could never compare to the real thing. It was everything you’d ever imagined, so much better even.

Vernon was gone before daybreak after you sent him away. He had been sleeping soundly next to you last night, warm and snuggly. But you woke him up barely four hours later and asked him to leave. You asked nicely, of course, and he was very understanding of your reasons. As beautiful as it was, you both agreed to keep the whole thing a secret for now. So, you sent him away to ensure your mother wouldn’t see him in the morning or that your friends wouldn’t wonder where he was.

It bothered you how quickly you got into this relationship with Vernon, especially because you knew it didn’t stem from sincere feelings but rather from infatuation and sexual tension. You also didn’t want to be the subject of your friends’ relentless teasing for the whole duration of their stay. How would you explain that you were suddenly sleeping with the guy you said you had zero interest in?

You had been staring at the ceiling for over an hour now, reliving the events of last night and wondering what the next few days had in store for the two of you. You needed not to remind yourself that this was all but a convenient setup. No strings had been attached to this yet, as far as your spoken declarations were concerned. With that in mind, you drifted back to sleep, tired from last night’s excursions.

The late morning sun filtered through your curtains, and the cool wind embraced your naked arms. You woke up again, feeling the emptiness beside you where Vernon had been. It was a strange feeling, missing someone who had just been a friend until recently. The physical connection you shared last night had stirred up emotions you hadn't anticipated.

As you got ready for the day, your thoughts drifted back to Vernon. You couldn't deny the chemistry between you two, but the uncertainty of where this was headed made you uneasy. The thought of facing your friends and pretending nothing had changed was daunting but necessary. You couldn't let them suspect anything, at least not yet.

Downstairs, your mother was on her knees, scanning the papers she had strategically scattered on the floor and on the couches in the living room. She was mumbling to herself, the deep scowl on her face indicating her intense concentration. It is best not to disturb her when she is busy like this, so you slip quietly out of the house, taking your old car out of the garage and heading to Jade’s.

When you got there, the house was already buzzing with activity. Your friends were lounging in the living room, chatting and laughing. You joined them, trying to act as normal as possible.

“Look who decided to turn up,” Jade teased, waving. "You missed breakfast."

"Sorry, I was really tired," you replied, forcing a smile as you sat down.

Mingyu glanced at you with a knowing look, but he didn't say anything. You wondered if he had noticed anything unusual about Vernon this morning.

“What's the plan for today?” you asked, eager to divert attention from yourself.

“Beach volleyball!” Jaehyun announced enthusiastically. “Elise invited us to join them at the beach.”

“Cool. Can we make s’mores after?” Trina requested. “That is if there isn’t a bonfire party after the game.”

Jade nodded. “There isn’t, so yes, we can make smores.”

Everyone cheered at the idea, and you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved. Activities like these would keep everyone occupied and less likely to notice any changes between you and Vernon.

As the day went on, you found yourself stealing glances at Vernon, who seemed just as composed as ever. The physical distance between you in public was a stark contrast to the intimacy you had shared last night. It was a balancing act, maintaining the facade while grappling with your own feelings.

During volleyball, you and Vernon ended up on opposing teams, and your competitive sides came out in full force. Since this was a game held by your high school friends, Winwin was there too and got on the same team as you. In a quick battle of wits, Jade boasted about you and Winwin being the best beach volleyball duo, making everyone cheer and tease. The game was filled with laughter, teasing, and a few surprisingly intense moments.

“You're pretty good,” Vernon said, panting and grinning as you both took a break.

“I could say the same about you,” you replied, wiping sweat from your forehead. That was your first conversation ever since he left your house that morning.

Later in the afternoon, while everyone was busy setting up for the bonfire, Vernon found a chance to be alone with you. He casually asked you to help him get the marshmallows from the kitchen, and you obliged. As you looked for the bag of marshmallows, Vernon sneakily closed the pantry door.

“You gotta be kidding me,” you muttered.

“Come on. Forget the mallows for a sec,” he grinned, tugging you by the waist.

Vernon scooped your cheek to kiss you, and you happily kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. There was a sense of relief mixed in the euphoria of kissing Vernon, as if you had been starved of his touch for years instead of mere hours. You melted in his arms, delirious because of his kiss. When you parted, your lips ached for him, but you didn’t indulge it.

“Can I see you tonight?” he asked, looking ecstatic.

Absolutely, you screamed in your head but you wanted to play hard-to-get. “I’ll think about it,” you replied.

“Okay. Let me know.”

He kissed you once more, and then another. And even as you were leaving the pantry, he stole kisses on your cheek, stopping only when you were almost outside the house where all your friends are gathered.

The next few days were a whirlwind of activities and stolen moments. You and Vernon navigated your secret relationship with a mix of excitement and caution. Every touch, every shared glance held a thrill of secrecy that only the two of you understood. Vernon has mastered the art of sneaking to your house, undetected. And you would be in each other’s arms all night, only to act like you barely knew each other the next day.

One morning, the group decided to go kayaking. You went to a water sports resort with your friends, excited about the activities you haven’t done in a long time. The clear blue waters of the bay called to you, and it was like you were rediscovering its beauty after spending most of your life living here.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go?” Jade asked Trina again, who shook her head in response.

“Have fun, babe,” she told Minghao who then joined Mingyu on the kayak. “Take care of my Haohao, alright?”

You scoffed as you were strapping your life vest. “Wrong. Minghao should take care of Mingyu. Chances of falling off the kayak and drowning is higher for that giant himbo.”

Eunwoo laughed as he was helping you with the gear. Patting the back of your life vest, he said, “There. You’re all set.”

“Thanks,” you lilted, looking at the array of kayaks by the shore. “Which one is ours?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m going with Adie.”

You gawked at him and then glanced over your shoulders at Adie who was chatting with Jade. “With Adie?”

“Yeah. It sort of just… happened. I could go with you instead, if you want,” he offered but you shook your hands.

“No, it’s okay. You can go with her. I don’t think she knows how to kayak so she’ll need someone who does.”

Eunwoo looked apologetic, but he just nodded and looked around. “So, you wouldn’t mind going with Vernon?”

You paused, surprised. Then your eyes searched the vicinity for Vernon. He was talking to a resort staff with Jaehyun and he smiled at you when he caught you looking.

It makes sense, of course. Eunwoo and Adie are going out together. Jade pairing up with her boyfriend is a given. So that leaves you and Vernon.

“Yeah. I don’t see why I would,” you replied.

You paired up with Vernon, both of you concealing your satisfaction with how things turned out. You pushed off from the shore, your kayak gliding smoothly over the water. The others spread out, their laughter and shouts echoing across the bay.

“So, do you kayak often?” Vernon asked, his voice carrying over the gentle lapping of the waves.

“Not as often as I'd like,” you admitted.

“Living here, with this magnificent bay and all, I assumed you would be out on the water every day,” he commented.

“Well, I did have a phase where I can’t seem to get enough of the sea,” you reminisced. “But that was when I was like, sixteen or seventeen. Now I barely come out here, especially since I’m away for college most of the time.”

Vernon nodded. “I get that. Sometimes we take the beautiful things around us for granted because they’re always there.”

You paddled in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the serene beauty of the bay. The water was clear, allowing you to see the underwater world teeming with life beneath you. Schools of fish darted around, and you even spotted a few crabs scuttling along the sandy bottom.

“Hey, want to head over to that little cove?” Vernon pointed to a secluded spot where the trees leaned over the water, creating a shaded area perfect for a break.

“Sure,” you agreed, steering your kayak in that direction.

As you approached the cove, the sounds of your friends grew distant, replaced by the soothing rustle of leaves and the occasional call of a seabird. You both pulled your kayak up onto a small, sandy beach and took a seat on a fallen log.

“This is nice,” you said, taking a deep breath of the salty air. You leaned back, propping yourself up on your hands. “You know, this whole secret relationship thing... it’s kind of fun.”

Vernon grinned. “Yeah? I was worried it might be too much stress.”

You shook your head. “It has its moments, but there’s something exciting about it.”

He reached out, taking your hand in his. “I like that. But I don’t want it to be stressful for you. If it ever gets too much, just tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” you promised, squeezing his hand.

For a moment, you both just sat there, holding hands and listening to the gentle sounds of nature. It was a rare, peaceful moment amid the whirlwind that had become your summer.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Vernon said out of nowhere.

You glanced at him curiously and upon recognizing the mischief on his face, you shook your head. “Don’t even think about it.”

Vernon threw his head back laughing. “Pretty hard not to. With you in that gorgeous two-piece and all.”

“Have some decency, Vernon. I’ve been thinking about giving you a head all day but I didn’t because we’re out in public.”

The shock made Vernon inhale sharply, cover his mouth, and look away. You just scowled at him, confused at his overreaction. When he glanced back at you, his eyes were bulging out of their sockets. You raised an eyebrow so he cleared his throat and composed himself.

“You can’t say things like that out loud!” he chided softly, shaking his head.

You scoffed. “I’m sure whatever you have in your mind is far more scandalous.”

Vernon smiled playfully. “Oh, so you wanna hear what I think?”

“No,” you declared, crossing your arms over your chest and reverting your gaze to the sea.

“I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side. No one will notice.”

“Hansol Vernon Chwe!” you exclaimed, slapping his arm. You were right, he was thinking far more scandalous thoughts! “Your mind is in the gutter.”

“So what? My mind likes it there.”

“Unbelievable,” you muttered, standing up at once. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him up and led him further into the cove.

“Can’t we just—”

You cut him off with an urgent kiss, clutching a handful of his hair as you kept his head at an angle. Vernon wasted no time, locking your waist in his arms and kissing you with sweet abandon. You made out with him for a couple minutes, stopping immediately when he started grinding his crotch against you.

“Aw,” he whined, shoulders sagging as he watched you walk away from him and back to the shore like nothing happened.

Just in time, the sound of voices carried over the water, signaling the return of your friends.

“Let’s head back,” you called out to Vernon who was walking to you with a grumpy pout. You couldn’t help the grin that formed on your lips, pleased with his reaction.

You woke up to the sound of birds calling from a distance and the weight of an arm around your waist. A smile crept upon your lips as you snuggled closer to the warmth radiating from behind you. Your movements caused Vernon to stir, groaning as he pulled you closer and nuzzled his face behind your neck.

“Good morning,” he whispered, his voice deep and throaty. You felt a soft peck on your shoulder as you uttered the same greeting. “Is it time to go?”

You shook your head lazily, turning to face him. An affectionate kiss on your forehead had you reeling in bliss. Vernon’s forehead was creased, but he didn't look annoyed, rather pleased with his eyes still closed and cheeks bloated from sleep.

“Later,” you replied and saw him nodding.

He took a long breath and locked your head in his arms. “Good idea.”

You laughingly hit his arm so he'd let you go, but Vernon squeezed tighter, just tight enough so you wouldn't choke. As you struggled to let loose, your phone started buzzing on the nightstand, so you reached to grab it, only to be dragged back by him.

“Stop! I gotta take it!” you giggled, and he eventually let go. You bolted right up when you saw Jade’s message on the screen, and your surprised action completely woke Vernon.

“What? What's wrong? What happened?” he asked, blinking at the bright sunlight pouring into the room.

“Jade’s coming.”

“Oh,” he blurted monotonously, scratching his chin. I have to go, don't I?"

"Yeah. Go,” you told him, patting his shoulder repeatedly. Vernon rose to his feet, picking up his stuff on the chair while you answered Jade’s call.

"Hey, are you up?" came your friend's voice from the other line.

"No," you replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

"Good. Jaehyun and I are on our way."

"Uh, yeah. Okay. How long before you get here?" you questioned. Vernon was quietly asking where his jacket was, so you pointed at your desk. "You think you could pick up hot chocolate for me at Poppy’s?"

"Already on it," replied Jade. "Be there in 15."

Jade hung up after you said your goodbyes, and you jumped off your bed to see Vernon off. He wrapped you in his embrace, warm and snug. You inhaled his scent, reluctant to let him go.

“I'll see you later?” he asked, kissing the tip of your nose.

“Later,” you nodded. One more kiss and Vernon left your house, waving happily. You sighed after closing your door, wondering how much longer you could keep this a secret from your friends, especially from Jade, who had always been interested in your love life. She would have wanted to know about this before anyone else.

Should you tell her? Maybe she'll get off your case and stop setting you up with guys. Honestly, there was no reason to keep this a secret, except for the fact that Vernon is relatively new and everything happened too quickly between you.

You were stepping out of the bathroom when your doorbell rang. You peered outside the window and signaled for them to come in before running back to your bedroom to get changed. Jade’s cheerful ‘good morning’ greeted you, followed by a kiss on your cheek. Jaehyun asked you how your sleep was as he handed you the hot chocolate you asked them to pick up.

“So, tell me why you left your guests back at your house to have breakfast here with me?” you asked Jade as you both sat by the kitchen island, watching Jaehyun flip pancakes.

“Meh. They’re all busy doing their own thing. When I asked who wanted to come with us here, they all said no.”

“Eunwoo too?”

Jade shrugged. “Eunwoo hasn’t come out of his room, so he was probably still asleep. Vernon too, I guess. I haven’t seen them leave their room yet.”

You cleared your throat, suddenly feeling uneasy. “I see.”

“We’re leaving at noon,” she said after checking a message on her phone. “Are you ready?”

“I am,” you replied. You were invited by Elise to a camping trip, which you know would be fun so you all agreed to go.

You and Vernon talked about it. He wasn’t as excited, saying he was tired and wanted to just stay in.

“Can we just stay here so I can fuck your brains out?” he had asked you the night before.

“My, my, how romantic,” you had told him sarcastically, rolling your eyes. “But if we do, everyone’s gonna know.”

After breakfast, Elise arrived with Winwin to pick you up. With your group of five people, you went to buy essentials for the camping trip: food, booze, and other materials. It was almost noon by the time you were done, so to save time, you picked up your stuff from the house and went straight to the meeting place where everyone was waiting.

“Did you get everything?” one friend asked as you were getting out of Winwin’s car.

You were surprised when you found your group to be smaller than expected. Other than you and your friends from uni, there were only six other people from your high school. Elise and Winwin were there, as expected. The other four are old classmates, including Mina, a girl Mingyu had been hanging out with ever since he got here.

In three SUV cars, you set off from the bay to a campsite that they had picked out. It was rowdy and you could already imagine how the weekend would go.

“Chips?” you asked Eunwoo, offering him a chip while he drove.

“Thanks,” he said, beaming and accepting the food with his mouth without taking his eyes off the road.

Mingyu’s head peeked at you from between the seats. He was pouting so you rolled your eyes at him and fed him some chips too.

“See, she loves me too,” Mingyu chimed, sitting back.

“She doesn't. You're just annoying and she puts up with you just to shut you up,” Adie sneered.

“You're just jealous because no one loves you like y/n does me.”

You heard Adie scoff. “Does your girlfriend know you're simping over y/n?”

“You know I don't have a girlfriend,” Mingyu replied indignantly.

“Exactly.”

Your gaze met Eunwoo's for a second before you both laughed at Mingyu’s misery. They continued to bicker along the way.

Traveling always makes you sleepy, which is why you're the least fun person to be with on a road trip. This time, of course, you fell asleep barely an hour into the trip, waking up only when Eunwoo gently shook you.

“We're here,” he sang, eyes twinkling as he smiled at you. You smiled back, thanking him before stretching your limbs.

“Where is here, exactly?” you asked, handing his jacket back to him.

“Honestly, no idea. It's my first time here too,” he replied as he wore his jacket.

When you got out of the car, you recognized the campsite you frequented with your high school friends. Once a year, you all would come up here for some fresh air and to hike by yourselves. The air was colder, probably because you're up the mountains but the view was majestic enough to ignore the chill. The lake sat magnificently a few feet from where you stood and although the skies weren't particularly clear, it was still a sight to behold.

“Don't we need to unload our stuff first?” Eunwoo asked, shuddering as he hugged you from behind and trapped you inside his jacket.

You basked in the warmth but then caught Vernon’s gaze from where their car was parked. Casually, you slipped away from Eunwoo's arms. “There's no need. The tents are already furnished. You can crash as soon as you get there.”

“Have you been here before?”

“Yeah, we came here a lot when we were in high school.”

“Hey, Cha Eunwoo!” Jade's voice made you laugh. “I told you not to hog my best friend!”

Jade yanked you away from Eunwoo, hugging you tightly as if shielding you away from the man.

“She's my best friend too!” Eunwoo argued.

In a lower voice, Jade scolded him. “I know, but right now, you're ruining her chances at love.”

“Love?” you frowned but Jade was already dragging you away.

“Go help make food or something!” Jade told Eunwoo and you laughingly waved at him as you were getting dragged away.

“What do you mean by love?” you asked but she shushed you and discreetly pointed at the third car. Winwin was standing by it, unloading the stuff from the trunk.

“Uh… nope.”

“Why not?”

“He’s my ex.”

“Duh? I know,” she replied, rolling her eyes. Then she poked at your sides teasingly. “But I’ve seen how you’ve been spending some time with him these days. You seemed to have fun together. Why not give it another chance?”

“Oh, Jade,” you sighed. If only she knew which guy you had been spending all your free time with.

Barbecue was on the menu. While you helped prepare the food, the others were already starting the party with some music and booze. This mountain resort is a popular spot, but it’s summer, and most people are at the beach so your group is the only one present which was nice because you have the place all to yourselves. You chatted with Jaehyun and Winwin as you prepped, laughing at their jokes and playful banter. Vernon was there too, but he kept his distance and didn't speak to you.

“Need help with that?” you glanced sideways at the guy who crouched next to you by the cooler. It was Winwin and he smiled as he helped you put cans of soda and beer into the cooler.

“Not really, but thanks,” you replied. You and Winwin had indeed been chatting a lot whenever you were hanging out with them. But it’s all for the sake of friendship and the bond you used to have, nothing to suggest any romantic pursuits. You found these chats fun and interesting too, and you hoped that no one would make a big deal out of it. But after what Jade told you a while ago, you were starting to think everyone else might be misunderstanding your friendship.

“Hey, man,” came Vernon's voice from behind you that almost made you gasp. “Jaehyun’s calling you at the barbecue.”

Winwin stood up, smiling at you before running back to where he was being called. Vernon crouched down next to you, beaming as he helped with the remaining drinks.

“How was your sleep?” he asked, inching a little closer.

“My sleep?” you questioned, puzzled. “Did you see me sleeping in the car?”

He nodded. “Yeah. You were so cute with your mouth open.”

You felt your face flare and resisted the urge to swat him. “Not funny.”

“I didn't say it was funny,” he chuckled, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “I said you were cute.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, rolling your eyes before standing up. Vernon followed, carrying the cooler.

“Where do we put this?” he asked and you pointed to the direction of the dining area by the bonfire. You walked there together, chatting casually along the way before Jaehyun called you over to where they were preparing the other foods.

“Wait,” Vernon grabbed your wrist as you were about to walk away. You glanced at it and then at your friends who were waiting for you. Vernon instinctively released your hand. “Nevermind. Go ahead.”

For the rest of the afternoon, and through the night, you had fun with your friends, goofing around and reliving the memories of your teenage years. Games were present too, and drinks. Lots of drinks.

However, there was a tension simmering under the surface, something you couldn't quite put your finger on.

Vernon has a feeling that today wasn’t his day. It started as soon as he left your house. On his way back to Jade’s, the neighbor’s dogs chased after him. In the two weeks that he has stayed here, those dogs had never shown any aggression towards him until today. He initially thought that was it, but when he was taking a shower, he slipped on the tiles and landed on his butt. Although it didn’t cause any real damage, it was still irritating.

And when it was time for them to leave, he wanted to be in the same car as you. But Jaehyun asked him to drive and he couldn’t decline. He wanted to, but he couldn’t possibly tell his friend that he didn’t want to drive because he wanted to be in the same car as you were.

Well, he could. He just chose not to out of respect for your wishes to keep things quiet.

So he settled with the small joy of seeing you sleep on the passenger seat, looking cute with your mouth hanging open. It was so adorable he almost asked to get out of the car so he could go pinch your cheeks.

Then when you reached the campsite, Eunwoo was all over you and Jade said something about setting you up with your ex. Vernon heard that, of course. He doesn’t get it though. Why would you want to get back with an ex from a long time ago?

The rest of the afternoon unfolded with lots of activities. The air was filled with laughter, the crackle of the bonfire, and the smell of barbecue. As the sun dipped below the horizon, the party atmosphere grew even more vibrant.

Vernon watched you from a distance, his eyes tracking your every move. He tried to find a moment alone with you, but it seemed impossible. Winwin was always nearby, and you two were frequently seen laughing and chatting. Your bond from high school was so evident, that one would think you didn’t stop contacting each other all those years ago. Then there was Eunwoo, who had always been affectionate and clingy towards you, but Vernon couldn’t seem to shake off his ire towards your best friend.

Eunwoo draped an arm around your shoulders as you all watched the sunset. “This view is amazing, right?” he told you.

“Absolutely,” you replied, leaning into him slightly. You caught Vernon's eye for a split second, but he looked away, pretending to be engrossed in his phone.

“Y/n, let’s go get refills,” Winwin suggested, pulling you away from Eunwoo. You laughed, giving Eunwoo a light shove as you followed Winwin to the cooler.

Vernon seized this moment and approached you both, hoping to finally get a word in. “Hey, need any help?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

“Nah, we're good!” Winwin replied cheerfully, handing you the cans while you loaded them into the ice bucket. “Thanks though, man.”

You glanced briefly at him and smiled. Vernon clenched his jaw, forcing a smile. “Sure, anytime.”

He lingered for a moment, hoping Winwin would leave, but instead, Winwin started telling you a funny story about your high school days, making you laugh so hard you nearly spilled your drink.

Vernon could feel his patience wearing thin. Every time he tried to get close to you, someone else was already there, monopolizing your attention. He attempted to interject himself into your conversations, but it always felt forced and awkward.

Later, as everyone gathered around the bonfire, Vernon saw another opportunity. He moved to sit next to you, but Eunwoo beat him to it, practically pulling you into his lap.

“Hey, scoot over,” Vernon said, his voice tinged with frustration.

“There’s plenty of room,” Eunwoo replied cheerfully, oblivious to Vernon’s irritation.

Vernon sat down on the other side of you, but the moment was already spoiled. Jaehyun started playing the guitar, and everyone began to sing along, further distancing you from Vernon.

Finally, after what felt like the hundredth interruption, Vernon had had enough. He retreated to the edge of the campsite, crossing his arms and staring moodily into the darkness. His grumpy demeanor didn't go unnoticed.

Mingyu wandered over, a concerned look on his face. “You alright, man?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Vernon replied curtly.

“You don’t look fine,” Mingyu pointed out. “What’s up?”

Vernon sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just... hard to get a moment with her, you know?”

Unbeknownst to you, Mingyu knew about you and Vernon. No one told him, he just figured it out by himself on the very first night that Vernon slept in your house. They were roommates first before Vernon moved to Eunwoo’s room because Mingyu kept bringing Mina over. When Vernon didn’t come home that night, Mingyu knew something good had happened to him. After all, the very reason Vernon was willing to come to Azure Bay in the first place was you.

Why would Vernon sacrifice a peaceful summer break spent with his family to join a group of friends that he barely knew in a state he had never been to before? It was all because of you. Mingyu knew about this little crush and decided to give his friend this one and only opportunity.

Mingyu glanced back at you, surrounded by your friends. “Yeah, she’s pretty popular,” he said with a chuckle. “Just give it time. We’re here all weekend.”

Vernon nodded, but his mood didn’t improve. He spent the rest of the evening brooding, feeling more and more isolated as the party continued without him. Every time he saw you laughing with someone else, it was like a punch to the gut. Today really wasn’t his day.

Eventually, you noticed the change in his mood. When the party died down and everyone retreated to their tents, you and Vernon were left in front of the bonfire. He was still looking grumpy, staring at the fire like it had done him a grave sin.

“Hey, you okay?” you asked softly when you approached him.

Vernon forced a smile. “Yeah, just needed some air.”

You looked unconvinced but didn’t push. “It’s getting cold. We shouldn’t stay out here for too long.”

“Right. Bye then,” he replied coldly, standing up at once and heading to one of the tents.

You froze on the spot, dumbfounded and bewildered at the attitude he was giving you. You told him that hoping he’d ask to be alone with you, then you’d invite him to your tent. Did he ignore you on purpose or was he really clueless about your cue?

You decided not to pester him about it. Feeling hurt, you walked back into your own tent, got ready to sleep, and curled up under the sheets.

“The fuck was his problem?” you asked yourself, scowling deeply as you scrolled through your phone.

You were annoyed and deeply hurt. You even made sure not to share a tent with someone else because you thought you could be alone with him. Now, what’s the point?

“So annoying,” you muttered when you saw his Instagram story about the campsite.

You were just about to toss your phone away when you noticed something in his story. It was not just a picture of the lake. You were in it too. Initially, you thought the silhouette was of someone else’s. But you recognized yourself, and the bun sitting on top of your head all day.

Your face lit up with a smile that you couldn’t conceal. Whether it was on purpose or not, your heart fluttered seeing that on his page. As if on cue, a message from Vernon popped up on your screen.

Vernon: I was a dick. I’m sorry.

You sighed, turning on your back and typing a reply.

You: Was it easier to act like a dick than to tell me what was wrong? Vernon: I guess Vernon: Meet me outside?

You grinned, giddiness bubbling inside you.

You: Is outside better than here in my tent?

You waited for his response but about three minutes later, you heard his voice outside your tent. Excited, you rose to open up for him. Big eyes, a hood over his head, and a big gummy smile welcomed you.

“Is it okay to come in?” he asked before you could even say anything.

You giggled, unable to resist his cuteness. “Yeah. Come on in.”

“Are you sure? What if someone sees us?”

“Someone will if you keep standing there.”

Vernon comes in at once, leaving his shoes outside. Not wasting a second, Vernon pulled you into a tight hug.

“I've been waiting on you all day,” he murmured, his breath hot against your ear.

“What do you mean? I was here the whole time.”

Vernon sighed, burying his face on the crook of your neck. “Should we just tell everyone? Watching guys hover around you like bees on a flower is not entertaining at all.”

You chuckled heartily. “My, my. Is Vernon being jealous right now?” you teased but when Vernon didn’t laugh or say anything to deflect you, you realized you were right. “Are you serious?”

He didn’t respond and just sighed against your skin. You shoved him a little, making him sit properly and face you.

“Vernon,” you prompted, stern.

“So what if I am?” he grumbled, scowling deeply. “These guys are all over you.”

You grinned, flattered. “They’re my friends.”

“I know. But I can’t help myself, can I?” he sighed, touching your face. “Everyone loves you, it was so hard to get your attention. I can’t even get a word in.”

“Aww,” you lilted, enamored by him. You touched his face too and kissed the tip of his nose. “We’re alone now. My attention is not going anywhere.”

He leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, deliberate kiss that made your heart race. You responded eagerly, your hands tangling in his hair as you pressed closer to him.

There was no need to discuss anything. You just went with the flow, letting Vernon take you where he wanted to. He laid you down with care and gently kissed your lips. You touched his face, feeling the warmth of his skin and indulging yourself.

“Is this mine?” he whispered when you parted, making butterflies run wild in your belly.

Your brows furrowed slightly, confused but giddy at the same time. “What does that even mean?”

“I just want to know if it is.” He took the hand you were using to touch his face and then kissed it. “Mine.”

Then he leaned to kiss your cheek. “Mine.”

The puzzled look on your face remained. “Speak properly, Vernon.”

“It’s Hansol.”

“Huh?”

He kissed your hand again and placed it on his face. “I’m all yours, love. I’m surrendering myself to you. So please, it’s Hansol.”

“Hansol…” you echoed, voice trailing off when he ducked to kiss your neck. It didn’t take long for desire to cloud your mind. His touch was as good as it was the first time. No, actually, he got better the more you did it with him. It was as if he was studying you each time you let him touch you, and little by little, he was starting to memorize you.

His kisses went lower, and lower as he expertly undressed you. With each kiss, he said, ‘Mine’. Your neck, your collarbone, the space between your breasts, and the area above your belly button, your hip, your inner thighs— he marked all of it, calling them his.

“Tell me, y/n,” Vernon questioned, his voice deep and raspy. “Are you mine?”

“All yours,” you gasped, aching to be touched where he was refusing to touch you.

“All mine?”

“Yes, Hansol,” you replied, biting your lips. “All yours.”

“Good girl.” You flinched when his nose pressed on your underwear, putting pressure on the sex underneath it. He kissed that too. “All mine.”

The nights you spent together became more frequent, each one blurring the line between physical attraction and emotional connection. As the days went on, you couldn't help but notice the little things about Vernon that made your heart flutter. The way he laughed, the way he looked at you when he thought you weren't paying attention, the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the world when you were together. You tried to remind yourself that this was supposed to be a no-strings-attached arrangement, but your heart was beginning to have other ideas.

Especially considering how things are going between you right now. After the hiking trip, Vernon told you he would stop resisting the urge to approach you, even with your friends present. You told him to do as he liked, finally allowing things to unfold naturally. It was a liberating decision, knowing you will no longer have to walk on eggshells and keep pretending Vernon is just another friend.

As the days passed, you and Vernon fell into a comfortable routine. Mornings often began with leisurely breakfasts at Jade’s house or on your patio, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee blending with the salty sea breeze. The group would often split up for various activities—some would go hiking along the coastal trails, some would prefer to shop or sight-see, while others, like you and Vernon, preferred the relaxation of the beach.

One night, after another secret rendezvous, you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and replaying every moment with Vernon. You hated the idea of temporary relationships, the kind that only lasted for a season and then fizzled out. But the thought of losing what you had with Vernon was starting to feel unbearable.

“Get it together, y/n,” you muttered to yourself, trying to push the feelings away. But deep down, you knew it was already too late. You were falling for him, and there was no turning back.

The next day, you went out with Vernon to go sightseeing. Wandering through narrow streets lined with quaint shops and cafes, you found yourselves in a small art gallery. The cool interior was a welcome respite from the heat, and you both wandered among the paintings, discussing your favorites and discovering new aspects of each other's personalities.

“I didn't know you were into abstract art,” Vernon said, stopping in front of a vibrant canvas.

You shrugged, smiling. “Oh, I’m not. I just like to stare at it like it’s a compelling puzzle.”

“A compelling puzzle?” he repeated.

“Yeah,” you grinned. “Whenever I see one, I try to decode any message or find the hidden figures. But visually, I wouldn't buy one and put it on display.”

He nodded thoughtfully, taking your hand as you moved to the next exhibit. The simple gesture of holding hands felt natural, and it sent a thrill through you every time.

Later, as you sat in a cozy café, sipping iced lattes and watching the world go by, Vernon brought up a topic that had been on your mind as well.

“I've been thinking about what you said, about not wanting this to be just a summer fling,” he began, stirring his drink absentmindedly. “And I think I agree. I’m still not sure what it would mean for us, though.”

You looked at him, grateful for his honesty. “It means being realistic about what we want and what we're willing to do to make it work.”

He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. “I'm willing to try if you are.”

You smiled, squeezing his hand. “One step at a time, Hansol.”

He grinned, a spark of determination in his eyes. “One step at a time.”

Back at the beach house, the evenings were filled with laughter and conversations as usual. Despite your efforts to keep things low-key, your friends began to notice the growing closeness between you and Vernon.

As you sat around the bonfire, Adie couldn't help but tease you. “So y/n, Vernon seems to be spending a lot of time with you. Anything you want to tell us?”

You felt your cheeks flush and shot Vernon a quick glance. He smiled reassuringly but you didn’t know what it meant. So you responded with, “We're just enjoying each other's company. No need to make it a big deal.”

Your friends laughed and let the topic drop, but you could tell they weren't entirely convinced. As the night wore on, you found yourself snuggled up next to Vernon, the warmth of the fire and the comfort of his presence making you feel at ease.

Vernon offered to walk you home that night, ignoring the teasing from your friends. Hand in hand, you trekked the sidewalk while talking and laughing about random things. When you reached the house, you invited him inside, asking if he wanted to sleep over.

“Have I ever said no to that?” Vernon asked, the glimmer in his irresistibly beautiful.

“Alright. Come on in then,” you chuckled.

When you entered the house, you found your mom’s designs on the floor again, making you feel nervous. She should be asleep by now, but judging by this, it looks like she’s pulling an all-nighter. You looked around to find her, and when you couldn’t, you assumed she had gone to sleep so you ushered Vernon in.

“Watch your step. These are Mom’s designs. She said she gets more efficient when she can compare and contrast her works like this. It looks like a mess, but it’s not all clutter,” you explained, treading carefully. “That’s just how she works.”

“I see. You take after her then,” Vernon chuckled, letting you guide him across the room to the staircase.

“I get that all the time from family and friends,” you replied, reminiscing.

“If you don’t mind me asking, is your dad around? I haven’t really seen him.”

You were surprised by the question, but you didn’t mind answering it. “Oh, they’re not together anymore. They got divorced when I was fourteen.”

Vernon’s face dropped. “Sorry to hear that.”

“No, it’s okay. We’re not on bad terms. I see him sometimes when I visit him in France.”

“That’s far.”

“I know,” you chuckled as you reached for your bedroom door. Before you could open it, however, the door to your mom’s room opened, and she flicked the lights on instantly. “Mom!” you exclaimed.

Getting caught by your mother as you were bringing a guy home? Embarrassing.

Your mother stared at you and Vernon for a minute before speaking. “Vernon, was it?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She hummed in acknowledgment. “I guess everything’s going well between you, seeing how you’re walking in through the front door this time instead of the back.”

You gasped loudly. “Mom! How did you even know that?”

She just smiled coyly, not saying anything as she walked down the stairs to go back to her work.

“Does that mean she’s known the whole time?” Vernon asked, his eyes wide with surprise.

You sighed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. “Apparently. Moms always know more than they let on.”

Vernon laughed softly as you entered your bedroom. “I think it went well, all things considered. She didn't seem mad or anything.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, walking over to your bed and sitting down. “She's pretty cool about stuff like this. I just didn't expect her to know about us sneaking around.”

Vernon sat beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “At least we don't have to hide anymore,” he said gently.

You smiled, resting your head on his shoulder. "Yeah, that's a relief."

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, your head leaning on your chest as you listened to the sound of his heart and enjoyed the peace and quiet of your room.

“So,” he began, breaking the silence, “What do you want to do now?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Movie? We could watch something and just relax.”

Vernon grinned. “Sounds perfect.”

You stood up and went to your small collection of DVDs and streaming options, picking out a movie you both liked. Vernon made himself comfortable on your bed, and you joined him once the movie was ready to start. Snuggling up under the blankets, you hit play, and the room was soon filled with the familiar sounds of your favorite film.

As the movie played, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. Vernon’s presence beside you was comforting, and you were grateful for the way things were unfolding. His hand found yours under the blanket, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. You smiled, squeezing back.

Halfway through, you felt yourself growing drowsy. Vernon’s arm around you was warm and secure, and you found it hard to keep your eyes open. Before you knew it, you had drifted off to sleep, the movie still playing softly in the background.

Vernon watched you for a moment, a fond smile on his face. He gently kissed your forehead before settling down beside you, pulling the blanket up to keep you both warm. As he drifted off to sleep, he felt a sense of contentment he hadn’t felt in a long time.

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside your window. You blinked your eyes open, realizing you were still curled up next to Vernon. He was already awake, watching you with a soft smile.

“Morning,” you mumbled, stretching.

“Morning,” he replied, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah, really well,” you said, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. “You?”

“Best sleep I’ve had in a while,” he admitted.

You smiled, feeling your heart swell with affection for him. “I’m glad.”

Today is an uneventful day, like most days. You have nothing planned and you intend to just lounge about all day. Vernon seemed to like the idea, so after driving your mom to the airport for a business trip, you ordered takeout breakfasts and went back to your house.

You laid out the food on the coffee table in the living room, and the two of you sat cross-legged on the floor, chatting softly as you ate.

"How's the croissant?" you asked, tearing off a piece of your own pastry and popping it into your mouth.

"It's amazing," Vernon replied with a grin, crumbs dusting the corner of his lips. "Want a bite?" He held out his half-eaten croissant, and you leaned forward to take a bite, savoring the buttery, flaky goodness.

"Delicious," you mumbled, your mouth full. He laughed, shaking his head affectionately.

After breakfast, you cleaned up together, moving in sync as you cleared the table and washed the dishes. The kitchen was filled with the sound of running water and the clinking of plates, but it felt peaceful, even meditative.

With the kitchen clean, you both moved to the living room. Vernon sprawled out on the couch, and you settled beside him, your head resting on his chest. He absently ran his fingers through your hair creating a soothing rhythm.

You reached for your book on the coffee table and Vernon grabbed his phone, each of you sinking into your own world. The living room was quiet except for the occasional sound of turning pages and the soft taps from Vernon's phone.

The silence was comfortable, the kind that envelops you like a warm blanket. You glanced up occasionally, stealing glances at Vernon, who seemed engrossed in whatever he was looking at. He'd sometimes smile at something on his screen, and you couldn't help but feel content seeing him so relaxed.

After a while, Vernon shifted, placing his phone down. "What are you reading?" he asked softly, not wanting to break the tranquility of the moment.

"Just something I should have finished reading a long time ago," you replied, showing him the cover. "It's pretty interesting."

"What's it about?" he asked, genuinely curious.

You gave him a brief summary, and he listened attentively, his eyes on you the whole time. "Sounds good. Maybe I'll borrow it when you're done," he said with a smile.

"Sure," you nodded, going back to your book while he picked up his phone again.

The afternoon sun streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over the room. Time seemed to slow down as you both lost yourselves in your respective activities, yet remained deeply aware of each other's presence. Strangely, it felt intimate, and you took it as a testament to how comfortable you'd become with each other.

As the afternoon turned into evening, you both decided to cook dinner together. You made pasta, working seamlessly as a team. Vernon chopped vegetables while you prepared the sauce, and soon the kitchen was filled with the delicious aroma of your meal.

Over dinner, you talked about everything and nothing, sharing stories and dreams, and simply enjoying each other's company. When the meal was over, you did the dishes together, laughing and chatting as you worked.

The night ended with you both lying on the hammock on the patio, swaying gently as you watched the stars overhead and listened to the sounds of nature—the birds calling, crickets humming in the early evening, and the waves pushing and pulling at the shore. Vernon held you close, and you felt his steady heartbeat under your cheek.

“Today was perfect,” you whispered, feeling a wave of happiness wash over you.

“It really was,” he agreed, kissing the top of your head. “Let's have more days like this.”

“Absolutely,” you murmured, feeling completely at peace. But then you remembered a crucial detail that made your heart sink. “But you’re leaving in two days.”

Vernon hummed, confused. “Already?”

“Yes.”

The month passed too quickly for your liking. Ironically, when your friends were planning their stay, you initially thought staying here for a whole month was too long for them. Now that the time is almost up, you realize it wasn’t that long after all. Your relationship with Vernon aside, you had loved every moment spent with your friends—the parties, the bonfire sessions, showing them around town, introducing them to your old friends, and all that. You realized how much stronger your bond with them has become and now you dreaded the inevitable.

You especially dreaded seeing Vernon leave. Although your beginning was quite unconventional in your opinion, it blossomed into something beautiful. You didn’t want to lose it just yet. Your emotions for each other might be strong now, but it doesn’t change the fact that you still haven’t officially decided on the status of your relationship. Vernon was vague about it, but you took it in stride because it was better than nothing at all.

“I’m gonna miss Azure Bay,” he said, tightening his hold on you.

“I’m sure you’ll be missed around here too,” you chimed, closing your eyes in an attempt to push your worries away.

“Should I stay a bit longer?” he suggested, looking at you so you opened your eyes. “Or should we go back together? We could spend the rest of the summer at my home.”

You just scoffed. “As if.”

“Come on. It’s gonna be fun. We have a farm. It’s quite impressive,” he added, feeling proud.

“You’re serious?” you asked, unconvinced.

“Of course I am!” he said, grinning toothily.

You pondered for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of his offer. If he’s serious, then doesn’t this mean your relationship is official? He’s not the type to casually bring every girl he’s seeing to meet his family, right?

“I’ll think about it.”

Vernon seemed pleased, poking your nose before kissing you. As you kissed under the fading light, you felt a mixture of emotions—excitement, fear, hope. Things had been uncertain for a while now, but it’s starting to look up for you. Despite your initial reservations, you were starting to believe that this could be more than just a summer romance.

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of waves crashing against the shore. You stretched and turned to find Vernon still asleep beside you, his face peaceful in the early morning light. You smiled, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you.

Determined to make the most of your remaining time together, you planned a surprise for Vernon. After breakfast, he had to go back to Jade’s house to take care of his belongings. While he was gone, you started working on your treat. You made sandwiches, drinks, and sliced fruits. Then you packed them securely, loading them in a picnic basket along with a large picnic mat. You included your book in the basket and a half-empty bottle of wine from your mom’s collection.

As soon as he returned from Jade’s, you grabbed his hand and led him down a hidden path that wound through the dunes, opening up to a secluded deck. With his help, you boarded a small boat, and he rowed you into the water while you guided him.

“How are you feeling?” you asked, pointing your phone’s camera at him.

“Honestly?” he asked, chuckling. “I think I might have a heart attack.”

You snorted, pretending to be unamused. “Don’t overreact, Hansol.”

Vernon chuckled heartily, his eyes wide with excitement. “I’m serious. I’m so excited that my heart can’t calm down.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat,” you told him, giggling.

You took pictures together, lots of them. While he rowed and enjoyed the majestic view, you captured his reactions and marveled at how beautiful he was in the pictures. But ultimately, no camera could ever give justice to how amazing he looked in real life.

“No way,” he exclaimed as you neared your destination. Rowing faster, he repeated. “No fucking way. Are you serious?”

You nodded proudly. “I am.”

The island sat idly, surrounded by clear blue waters. The sky was a canvas of soft blues and whites, with the sun casting a golden glow over everything. As you approached the dock, Vernon couldn’t contain his amazement, showering praises for the place and for you bringing him there.

“Technically, it was you who brought us here,” you smiled, watching him securely tie the boat to the dock.

“Wow, this is amazing,” Vernon said, his eyes lighting up as he took in the scene.

You smiled, feeling a sense of satisfaction at his reaction. “Come on.”

You set up the picnic, spreading the mat on a cozy spot under a shady tree. After snapping a few more pictures, you both settled down to eat. The sun made the water glimmer, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves around you. The sound of waves gently lapping against the shore also created a soothing backdrop. The sandwiches were simple but delicious, and the wine added a touch of elegance to the meal.

As you enjoyed the picnic, you talked about your hopes and dreams, sharing stories from your past and envisioning possibilities for the future. The more you talked, the more you realized how much you had in common and how much you enjoyed each other's company.

After a while, Vernon lay back on the mat, pulling you down with him. You nestled into his side, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around you.

“This is perfect,” he murmured, his voice soft and content.

“I’m glad you liked it,” you replied, closing your eyes and savoring the moment.

Time seemed to slow down as you lay there, feeling completely at peace in each other’s presence. You didn’t need to say much; just being together was enough. The island, the picnic, the gentle rhythm of the waves – everything was just right.

You spent the day lounging on the mat, sometimes talking, other times just enjoying the comfortable silence too, where you just sat together, listening to the waves and feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. Vernon occasionally played with your hair, his fingers gently untangling knots or just running through it. You read a book, leaning against his chest, while he scrolled through his phone, sharing funny memes or interesting articles he came across.

At one point, you fed each other pieces of fruit, laughing when you missed his mouth and he pretended to be mortally wounded. By 3 in the afternoon, the sun casted a beautiful golden hue over the island. You watched Vernon glow magnificently under this golden light, feeling an overwhelming sense of contentment. You knew that no matter where life took you, moments like these would always hold a special place in your heart.

“You should have brought that spearfishing thing you had in your shed,” he quipped after a while.

“Do you even know how to use it?”

“No,” he confessed, chuckling. “But it shouldn’t be so hard, right?”

“No clue. I didn’t like fishing so I wasn’t interested in knowing how it worked.”

“Oh. It wasn’t a good idea then.”

You huffed impatiently. “Yeah, it wasn’t. And even if one of us knew how to use it, I still wouldn’t bring it here. I would hate for this to be ruined by you running around trying to catch some fish instead of spending all your time with me.”

Vernon’s chest vibrated as he laughed, finding your cute aggression endearing.

You pushed yourself up, sitting so you could look him in the face. “I wasn’t trying to be funny. I’m serious.”

Vernon shifted on his side, touching your chin with his fingers so he could look into your eyes. “Do you have any idea, the slightest clue, about how adorable you are?"

You smiled, your ire long forgotten as your heart swelled with affection. “You're just trying to sweet talk me again,” you replied before leaning in to kiss him gently. His lips were soft and warm, and the kiss deepened as he pulled you closer, his hand caressing your back.

Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours, both of you breathing in sync. “I love you,” he said softly, his voice full of sincerity.

Your heart picked up its pace, surprised and ecstatic because of his unexpected confession. You were right, after all. This is no longer a fleeting summer romance. You and Vernon have developed something more than just that.

“I love you too,” you replied, feeling the truth of your words resonate deep within you.

He kissed you again, this time, more fervently. You moved to straddle him, your sundress spreading gracefully across his waist. Vernon sat up for a better position, his hand slipping under your dress and feeling up the smooth skin of your thigh. The more you kissed him, the crazier your head went.

You let him touch you, kiss you, and undress you. His kisses trailed all the way to your breasts, and his hands expertly traced your every curve. At this point in time, you can finally say Vernon has successfully memorized you.

You kept grinding on his crotch, eager to satisfy the aching between your legs. “Why’d you have to wear those jeans?” you complained, frustrated by the rough fabric of his pants.

Vernon chuckled heartily, lifting your legs and gently pushing you off of him. “Whatever happened to decency and not doing scandalous acts in public?”

You scoffed as he lay you down on the mat. “Would you like to stop here, then?”

“No. Absolutely not,” he replied, unbuckling his belt and dipping low to kiss you again.

As he brushed a strand of hair from your face, his fingertips lingered on your skin, leaving a trail of tingling sensation in their wake. It was a bribe, a gentle gesture to distract you while he tried to be one with you again– in body and soul.

An exclaim tore out of your mouth, surprised when his manhood slid through you completely. It wasn’t rough, nor was it painful, it was a cry of pleasure. Vernon shushed you, cooing at you as he began moving between your legs. It didn’t take long for you to get used to it. Your body has known him after all the nights you had spent together. You and Vernon have become a perfect pair, fitting perfectly with each other in every way as if it were by design.

“You look so beautiful right now,” he rasped, kissing the side of your mouth down to your neck. “You have no idea how much you drive me crazy.”

“Oh, Hansol,” you cried needily, not restraining your moans and confidently screaming his name.

“Yes, love,” Vernon growled, his pace getting rougher the louder you got. “That’s my name. That’s my fucking name!”

Your breaths synchronized, a rough but steady rhythm that mirrored the beating of your heart. He moved closer as if you were not already joined together. The remaining space between you dissolved, replaced by a closeness that felt both comforting and exhilarating. Vernon's gaze softened, and he leaned in, his forehead resting gently against yours. The scent of him enveloped you, familiar and comforting.

“I love you,” he whispered as he continued ramming into you.

The kiss that followed that confession made you delirious, completely overcome by passion and desire for Vernon. Every touch and every whisper of breath against your skin added to the mounting tension, a heady sensation of pleasure and anticipation. Your heart raced, each beat echoing the intensity of the moment.

You screamed his name, begged him not to stop, and moved with the rhythm of his body. You tugged and scratched and shamelessly bucked your hips to meet his. Until the high finally came crashing through. Time seemed to blur, and for a moment, the world was nothing but pure, unadulterated sensation. Every muscle in your body contracted and then relaxed. The feeling was overwhelming, a blissful explosion that left you breathless and trembling.

Vernon thrust a few more times into you before he too let out a guttural grunt and fell on your side, catching his breath with a content smile on his lips. You moved closer to him, nuzzling your face on his chest. Your mind floated in a sea of euphoria, your body pulsing with the aftershocks of the intense release.

“What if someone saw?” he quipped, playing with the ends of your hair.

You giggled. “People rarely come to this part of the bay.”

As the day came to a close, you packed up your things and got back into the boat. Vernon rowed you back to the mainland, both of you wrapped in a comfortable silence. Just as the sun was about to set, you found yourselves back on the beach, walking hand in hand along the shore. The sky was painted with brilliant hues of orange and pink, and the waves glowed with the last light of the day. It was at that moment, with the beauty of the sunset surrounding you, that you realized just how much Vernon meant to you.

It was a memorable day, forever etched in your memory. Even as you stood alone at the airport, watching the plane that was supposed to take you and Vernon to his home fly to the sky, the memories from that little island replayed in your head. That man who said he loved you has flown away, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart.

[To be continued in Part 2]

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angellesword · 8 hours

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BAGGAGE | JJK (05)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, drama, OC cusses excessively so watch out

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x mom!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

← Previous Chapter (04) | Next Chapter (06) →

***

Jungkook was in a daze the whole time you vented your feelings, but he miraculously snapped back to reality upon seeing you retreating.

You were walking away from him. Again.

"Wait!" Jungkook's hand attached to a dextrose trickled down with blood when he forced himself to stand, agitatedly running toward you. His stomach wound had barely healed. It hurt to the point where he fell to his knees, forced to whimper as he touched his bleeding stomach.

The stitches came undone. One of the nurses saw Jungkook. She gasped and immediately attended to the sick man.

"Mr. Jeon! Why are you running! Your wounds are bleeding again!" The nurse scolded. You couldn't miss it with how loud her shriek was. You were left with no choice but to look back.

As expected, a torrent of abuse escaped your mouth. You were predictable like that. Your heart was like the ocean as it was big enough to accommodate millions of creatures; one more stinky fish like Jungkook would not kill you.

"You're such a stupid bastard! Get up!" You ran back to Jungkook, your heart bleeding profusely at the sight of your pathetic ex-best friend. Perhaps you were wrong. One stinky fish swimming back to your life was equivalent to millions of gallons of oil spills in your ocean heart.

Seeing Jungkook in pain hurt you worse.

"Mr. Jeon, please get up. We're going to treat your wounds." Another nurse arrived with a wheelchair, assisting Jungkook to sit on it. Jungkook followed, but he gripped the hem of your shirt without the intention of letting go.

"Mr. Jeon," the nurse subtly rolled her eyes. She wasn't paid enough for this, making you feel embarrassed on behalf of said annoying patient.

"I won't leave." You assured but it didn't do much to calm Jungkook. He refused to let you go--one thing his past self didn't have a problem doing before.

"I promise, okay?" You let out a breath. You never broke your promises. Jungkook was appeased, having a taste of your promises earlier when you claimed you wouldn't have gone back to Incheon hadn't been for your vow to your precious Jisoo-unnie.

"You'll be here after they treat me?" Jungkook's voice was barely above a whisper. You couldn't remember your ex-best friend using this tone before, like a kicked puppy begging for love.

"I will be, but not with him." you glanced at Soobin, who still had his ears covered. The little boy's brattiness knew not to cross boundaries. At three, Soobin already knew you were not some force to be reckoned with. No one (not even Jungkook) could handle an angry you as your attitude turned to something akin to that Japanese legend, Arahabaki. It was terrifying.

"Alright," Jungkook relented.

The nurses silently thanked you before leaving. You merely nodded before turning to your son.

"You can uncover your ears now, sweetheart." You kissed your son's tiny hands. They were very soft.

"Mama not mad?"

Your heart softened. You couldn't help but kiss Soobin again, "Of course not, mon amour. How about this? I'll buy you ice cream later if you promise to be good to Uncle Min. Do we have a deal?"

Soobin popped a thumbs up. "Bin-bin miss you."

"I'll miss you too, baby. But I'll only be gone for a few hours. Have fun, alright?"

You made the necessary phone calls after that. A few minutes later, an Aurus Senat car appeared in front of the hospital.

The car's window rolled down.

"Hi, Mam!”

You would be lying if you said you were pleased to be face-to-face with your boyfriend's assistant, but it's not like you had a choice. Your boyfriend trusted this assistant, so you, by extension, learned to trust him, too. You just didn't like his overly enthusiastic smile.

"I'll be back later tonight. Please take care of my son." You personally placed Soobin on the baby seat, ignoring the assistant's piercing gaze.

"Will do, Mam. You know how much I adore Soobin~~."

You didn't honor that with a response. You said a few more words to your son before gently closing the door.

The assistant was still looking at you. You rolled your eyes, wanting nothing but to wipe that smirk off his face.

So you did, "Tell my boyfriend I said hi. I terribly miss him. Best if he gets ready for me tonight."

That seemed to work. The assistant lost his smirk at once. He let out a choked hum before rolling up his window and driving away.

You knew it was petty, but you felt victorious as you made your way inside the hospital. The nurses told you it would take time before you could talk to Jungkook again. You thanked them, then sat patiently on the waiting bench, pensive about how you should discuss things with Jungkook.

You regretted losing your cool earlier. You got quite the temper—a persistent problem you had had since you were young. You thought having Soobin by your side somehow lessened your anger issues (maybe it did), but Jungkook seemed to bring out the worst in you and hurt you.

Right. Jungkook had hurt you multiple times.

Seven to Six years ago; 2016 - 2017:

It was an auspicious time for you. Your thesis adviser during college wrote you a recommendation letter that landed you a spot in a prestigious university for your Master's degree.

"Ugh, you're going to school again." Jungkook pretended to retch, but he was fooling no one. Despite his hatred toward the education system, he still got you a present before your classes officially started.

"This is something I enjoy doing, you know?" You responded as you opened your best friend's gift.

It was a customized ballpen with your name on it. Others might find it ordinary-looking, but you knew that this cost Jungkook a fortune.

"Seriously...?" You couldn't help but stutter a breath. "You're giving me an 18k gold pen?"

"Seriously." Jungkook wrapped your hand around your waist, pulling you closer and gently nibbling your ear. He whispered seductively, "I'll give you everything this world considers best."

Jungkook's gift to you was from a luxury brand called Montegrappa. He understood how big of a deal this could be for others but not for him. The ballpen's price did not break Jungkook's bank at all. It did not even leave a dent because while you busied yourself with your studies, Jungkook grew his money through business.

Bighit's market share shot through the roof. You were an investor there but only held a small percentage of ownership. You only invested in Bighit to appease Jungkook, though you couldn't lie that even your initial investment profited 5000% more.

Jungkook coaxed you to invest more, but you learned the importance of diversifying your investment in your finance and accounting courses. You maintained only your initial investment in Bighit while putting its interests on various things: bonds, stocks, mutual funds, and more. You basically hit the jackpot after profiting from the Bighit.

Jungkook was the only one who remained loyal to Jimin, refusing to invest anywhere else.

The Bighit had gotten lucky in the past two years because of Jungkook's machinations. You weren’t completely lying when you said Jungkook was licking asses. It took many fancy meetings with other businesspeople before he successfully landed deals with them. You knew Jungkook was at the top of his game because even Jisoo, your older sister, was drawn into investing in Bighit.

Jimin wasn't exactly idle, either. Truthfully, he's busier than Jungkook since he recruited and managed company workers. In short, Jungkook enchanted investors while Jimin oversaw their business operation.

People like you were the ones who had it easy. The only thing Bighit needed from you was your capital. Admittedly, you barely knew how the company operated. You didn't bother with this, knowing your share was less than 20%. Instead, you focused on your studies for the next two years, and before you knew it, you were already on stage to receive your diploma.

But your heart was unhappy; your shoulders slumped as you looked at the crowd. There were two seats reserved for your graduation guests. Jisoo smiled reservedly at you as she occupied the chair on the left, but the spot next to her was empty.

It only meant one thing:

Jungkook did not attend your graduation ceremony.

You deflated. You really couldn't have it all. Jisoo didn't attend during your college graduation as she was busy with work. Now that you were getting your Master's degree, Jungkook couldn't attend.

"Hey, congratulations! I'm looking forward to seeing your next achievement!" The two most important people in your life might not be around at the same time, but your former thesis adviser was always present. He supported you in all your academic pursuits and considered you like his own daughter.

"Thank you, Professor Choi." You forced a smile, sad because of Jungkook and a little uncomfortable because of your thesis adviser's meaningful smile. The ceremony just ended, yet you felt Mr. Choi was planning something for you again.

"No worries, dear. The academe appreciates a rare talent like you. Actually..."

And there it is.

You couldn't avoid listening to Mr. Choi talk. Apparently, your former adviser initiated sending your work to different reputable universities. He said he sent it in passing, but Verlaine, a French professor from Sorbonne University, reached out to him because he had read your work and was hoping to connect with you and offer you a scholarship at Sorbonne.

"I don't know, Mr. Choi," you bit the inside of your cheek, pensive. You had just finished your Master's degree and were planning to rest for a while before pursuing a doctoral degree.

You wanted to travel the world and drink expensive wine with Jungkook. (And maybe sleep with him, too) Admittedly, you missed the feeling of Jungkook's warm body on you; you missed the high you got only when Jungkook whispered sweet nothings to you —the only thing that made you feel like you could conquer the world.

It's been a while since you last had a proper conversation with your best friend. The past few months had been crazy as you prepared for your final feasibility defense. Meanwhile, Jungkook skirted around the topic of 'fixing' a clause on their contract agreement with their associates and subsidiaries.

You learned not to pry regarding Jungkook's proper business; it's your way of showing respect and trust. You couldn't bear to fight Jungkook like you did years ago. That's too messy, and cajoling Jungkook was not for the weak. It's too troublesome.

But now that you thought about it, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to enquire about the business's standing. Something might have gone wrong for Jungkook to miss your special day. You didn't think Jungkook would mind, considering you deserved an acceptable reason and a sincere apology.

"Jisoo-unnie," your eyes flicked at Jisoo. "Aren't you an associate at Bighit? How's the business these days? Did Jungkook and Jimin hold a meeting?"

Jisoo couldn't meet your gaze, but she forced out an answer. "There's been some lower management issues, but Jungkook-ah told me he's handling it well. Don't worry, alright? You know Jungkook. He'll get around it somehow." Jisoo offered a champagne glass to you, "Here, drink. We should celebrate and discuss your plans to study in France."

Your eyelids fluttered shut, smiling uptight. "I've had enough of this topic, Jisoo-unnie. Actually..." You looked around; the graduation party was far from ending. You were rapidly getting used to ditching your own celebration. "I want to meet up with Jungkook. Can you entertain the guests for me?"

Jisoo seemed to disapprove, but you looked too pitiful. You were many things; you were loud and couldn't pass two minutes without insulting anyone, a defense mechanism you learned when young. But Jisoo knew precisely what was under your edgy mask and sharp tongue.

You loved hard, and it happened that you loved Jungkook the most.

"I'll let you go," Jisoo tapped your back. "Call me, alright?"

"Thanks, Jisoo-unnie."

And that was how you found yourself in front of Jungkook's apartment. You even brought an unopened bottle of champagne Jisoo had gifted you which you couldn't drink as the police sirens assaulted your ear.

"What the f..." You gulped down the profanities in the presence of the law enforcers. It wouldn't do you or Jungkook well if you caused trouble. You blinked and rephrased your question, calmly asking the female officer why they were bringing boxes out of Jungkook's high-end apartment and where Jungkook was.

"We have a search warrant, Miss." The officer explained nonchalantly, probably not to worry a civilian like you. "We can't discuss the criminal case for now, but I assure you that Mr. Jeon is not in trouble. He is merely invited to the police station for a statement."

"How the fuck is that supposed to assure me?" Your temper flared up at once. The officer did not flinch and refused to explain further.

Agitation overtook your senses as you cursed yourself for not knowing anything law-related. You debated calling your lawyer but decided against it because Jungkook was not some fragile little boy. If anything, Jungkook was probably ten steps ahead of these officers. Perhaps he orchestrated this whole thing.

You looked around, too. Jungkook lived in a high-security place. No one here would dare blab the situation to the public. The neighbors kept their doors tightly shut, refusing to associate themselves with the investigation.

You did everything to reassure yourself and keep your sanity. You left the officers in favor of driving to the station, realizing you didn't need to call your lawyer or anyone else; you only needed to see Jungkook.

To your luck, you immediately spotted Jungkook outside the station, laidback and grinning widely while talking to two police officers.

"Jungkook." You never claimed to be a patient woman. You went straight to Jungkook and ignored the officers.

It was rare to see a surprise Jungkook, too. He arched his brow, mouth slightly parted as he took in your slackened jaw. "What are you doing here? Aren't you with Jisoo-noona?"

You felt yourself flinch. Since when did Jungkook start sounding and acting like your presence was a big burden?

"You didn't attend my graduation," you said resentfully.

Jungkook merely looked at you before switching his gaze to the officers; his smile returned as he bid them goodbye. After that, Jungkook simply walked away, ignoring you, who stood there dumbfounded.

This bastard—!?

"Jungkook, you shit!" You ran after your best friend and soon caught up with him.

Jungkook still didn't stop, so you had no choice but to block his way.

"What do you want?" Jungkook wasn't his usual goofy self. In fact, his voice was uncharacteristically cold.

You felt your heart leaping to your throat, your boldness cowering at the presence of a reserved Jungkook. You were none the wiser but were able to change tactics at the last minute.

You grasped his wrist, "What happened to you? Are you in trouble? Can...can I help you?"

Jungkook was taken aback, obviously not used to you being soft-spoken.

"It's nothing." Jungkook used his free hand to caress your cheek. They were cold. You must have ran just to see him. "Nothing I can't handle. Don't worry, your two brain cells can't understand it even if I try to explain it to—"

"I got my Master's degree today, you fucking bastard!" You were about to hit your best friend, which Jungkook immediately dodged. He had memorized everything about you, from your insults to your breathing to your movements—

"You did." Jungkook was an enigma, and gone was the cold haze enveloping him. He pulled you close to him and hugged you tightly.

—and even the rhythm of your heartbeat.

"Congratulations on getting your Master's degree, sweetheart." He kissed the top of your head.

You stuttered a breath and punched Jungkook's chest. "You're so annoying. I don't understand you at all."

Jungkook chuckled lightly, drawing circles on the small of your back, and then he said:

"You're not supposed to. I love you; that's all you need to know."

It was, in fact, not all you needed to know. Days passed after your graduation, and Jungkook's business remained a mystery to you. You couldn't reach your best friend at all, so you reluctantly reached out to Park Jimin. Like Jungkook, Jimin was also unreachable.

"What the fuck is happening?" You cussed, feeling your blood running hot. You were pissed and were kept in the dark. Jungkook hadn't gone this long without contacting you. It was already bad enough when Jungkook acted all hot and cold during your graduation day; Jungkook even refused to cuddle with you that night, opting to just talk to you in your living room. When you woke up the next day, Jungkook was already gone. You received no news about him since then.

You flopped down the couch, remembering Professor Choi's advice, "You're too hotheaded, dear. It will one day be your downfall. Why don't you calm down before opening that mouth of yours? Are you familiar with the 4-7-8 breathing technique?"

It had gotten so bad back then. You were defending your research paper before the panelist when you felt your temper flaring up. Luckily, Professor Choi was there to call for a short break and pacify you.

Looking back, Professor Choi's advice was of great help to you. You could apply it now, so after settling on the couch, you breathed in and distracted yourself by watching the news.

Wrong move.

The headline sent you into a spiral, "Breaking News: Bighit, a start-up and a unicorn company, turns out to be the second Enron of this generation."

You couldn't breathe, yet you forced yourself to understand what was happening. If you remembered the lectures in your MBA courses correctly, then Bighit was compared to a unicorn because of its rare success in the business world (much like a mythical unicorn), with Bighit being valued at one billion dollars or more in just a few years of operation.

It was a good thing, but the headline did not stop with just that. Bighit was linked to Enron, too, a bankrupt company that committed fraud and ruined countless lives.

How could Jungkook's company be linked to something diabolical?

You refused to believe the news; regrettably, all evidence stated otherwise. You checked the stock price per share of Bighit, and your jaw dropped, seeing how much it had fallen. The news was cut short, though a few minutes later, it televised Park Jimin walking out of the police station. Your lips quivered while watching Jungkook's beloved hyung look like a pale ghost; his eyes barely opened because of how flashy the camera flashes were.

You didn't know where to go or who to call anymore. You couldn't barge into the police station like you did days ago. The place was crawling with reporters, and for once, you made use of your brain, afraid that your fragile temper would burst and make the situation worse.

For a while, all you could do was wait.

***

It was established before that you had the patience of a three-year-old. You couldn't sit still, so you did the only way you could think of to talk to Jungkook: you bought a large amount of Bighit's share over the counter. Ango Sakaguchi, the previous stockholder from whom you brought your shares, did not hesitate to sell his shares. Although Ango looked at you as if you were crazy. Bighit was at risk of getting delisted from major stock exchanges; the value of its market per share was basically at the basement of a rock bottom.

But you did not care. Being a major stockholder at Bighit guaranteed you a seat in the company's board meeting. Truth be told, you finally saw Jungkook, Jimin, and even your Jisoo-unnie during the emergency meeting.

"Dear, what are you doing here?" Jisoo was surprised to see you, but you merely looked at Jisoo, whom you also couldn't contact these past few days.

"My client isn't participating in this meeting as a board member but simply as a shareholder who values her contribution to the company." You had come prepared by bringing your lawyer and letting him speak on your behalf. You might not know a thing or two about the law, but you didn't get your MBA degree for a show. You knew the threats that came from buying Ango Sakaguchi's shares.

Unlike Jimin and Jungkook, you and Jisoo were merely stockholders who funded the business. You did not oversee the operations of Bighit, so now that the company was in trouble, the only problem for you and your sibling was the threat of not getting your investment back.

You and Jisoo were invited to today's meeting to discuss the order of priority in the payment of the company's liabilities as well as its threat to be delisted by the Security and Exchange Commission. (SEC)

The meeting commenced. Your focus was not on the speaker but on Jungkook. The latter did not bother to shoot you a glance; his attention focused solely on the meeting and Jimin.

You clenched your fists. This was not the time to be jealous, but the green-eyed monster had long engulfed you.

"The SEC gave us 90 days to pay our legal obligations. First to the taxes we owed, then the unpaid wages and other benefits of our employees, followed by our outside debtors, and lastly, our shareholders." Jimin announced. He also filled in the board members and others about their pending criminal case.

You slouched on your swivel chair, listening intently to your lawyer, who was whispering some legalities to your ear. Your eyes were shooting holes at Jungkook, though.

You tilted your head and raised your hand.

"Yes?" Jimin turned to you.

"I am abandoning my shares."

Now, that caught Jungkook's attention. Your best friend looked you dead in the eyes, his jaw ticking, but he refused to speak.

Jimin sighed, "You owned a significant number of shares in Bighit. Are you sure you want to forfeit your rights to any remaining assets?"

You did not respond at first and just twirled in your hand the golden pen Jungkook gifted you two years ago. Your lawyer spoke on your behalf, "My client does not care about the money. She wants her shares to be liquidated and used to pay the company's obligations. We humbly implore you to prepare an agreement to honor my client's request."

Jimin was about to agree, but Jungkook beat him to it.

"Bullshit."

The curse reverberated through the meeting room. If this was an ordinary day, you would surely respond with twice or thrice Jungkook's cuss, but you were too hurt by Jungkook's silence these past few days that you chose to shut up.

"Dear, have you thought about this?" Jisoo couldn't help but interfere, too.

Your lawyer cleared his throat and answered for you again, "The matter has been discussed thoroughly by my client and me. No one here needs to worry."

Jimin felt the tension's thickness, so he tried to cut through it, "Very well. This is highly appreciated. Atsushi, please draft the agreement with Jisoo’s sister now."

The meeting continued for two more hours before Jimin adjourned it. Everyone started to leave, and you told your lawyer to be on your way, too.

"See you soon, Mam." The lawyer nodded and left.

You remained seated in the swivel chair, lightly turning as you watched people leave until Jungkook was the only one left.

Jungkook stood up and made his way to the door, but you pretended to be unconcerned. Your heart was in your throat, though.

But your trepidation didn't last long when you heard the lock click in place.

You exhaled and twirled your chair to face Jungkook, who was leaning on the door with his arms crossed.

"So what now, shithead?" Your silence was only reserved during the meeting. Now that you were alone with Jungkook, you couldn't help but bark.

The corner of Jungkook's mouth ticked. "Classic you. Are you that desperate to talk to me that you wasted millions so I can throw you a bone?"

You weren’t wearing your choker, but you felt as though something was squeezing your neck. You found it hard to breathe.

"You think you can agitate me with your words? I've been too hotheaded, haven't I?" You stood up, slowly but heavily trudging toward your best friend. "Well, guess what, shitty Jungkook."

It was instantaneous. You grabbed Jungkook's shirt collar and slammed him on the wall. Jungkook's eyes rolled at the back of his head because of how hard you had pushed him.

"You can tease me all you want, but between you and I, you know who fucked up, and it isn't me."

Something flashed across Jungkook's face. If you were to name it, it would probably be pain, but you couldn't be sure as it was gone in the blink of an eye.

Jungkook smirked.

"Why? Because I didn't run to you crying about how I fucked up? You would want that, wouldn't you?" Jungkook laughed mirthlessly. "Over my dead body."

You were wrong. It wasn't pain that flashed on Jungkook's face. It was anger. After all these years, you realize that Jungkook had not fully forgiven you for saying he had made the wrong decision of venturing with Jimin.

Suddenly, you lost your will to fight Jungkook because this wasn't just about Jungkook ghosting you. It was about Jungkook building his walls against you.

You let go of your best friend at once, and then you took a step backward, defeated.

But Jungkook wasn't done with his attack. Years of frustration had bubbled up, and now, it exploded.

Jungkook's Adam's apple bobbed. It looked as if it took everything in him to say what he needed to say, but it still didn't prepare you for the pain that would shoot your heart and soul.

"I slept with Jisoo-noona."

One sentence, five words.

You and Jungkook had been friends since you were five. You had said hurtful words to each other before—all of which you didn't mind much. How could you, when you knew your words hurt Jungkook more?

But this…this was different. Nothing could ever top this betrayal.

"Y-You…" You choked back a sob. Fury and hurt crawled from your feet to your neck; they were like a knife blinding your eyes with one swift cut.

The tears obscured your vision. You couldn't (didn't want) to see Jungkook's expression.

You cast your gaze on the floor, watching your tears stain the cold tiles.

The silence was suffocating. Neither of you could take it anymore.

"You know," so you shattered it. "I might be a cussing machine, but I'm not as cruel as you, Jungkook."

You balled your hands into fists, forcing yourself to meet Jungkook's gaze. Just this once. You wanted to look at Jungkook and let him see just how much he had hurt you.

"I don't know shit about your company, but I know one thing." You smiled sadly, "I know I was wrong to believe you love me."

Once, someone told you, 'I love you; that's all you need to know.' Then, he proceeded to break your heart after.

"You—"

"But if you insist that you love me, then…" You cut him off. "Take it away because I don't want it. I've got no use for your disgusting love."

With that, you left, ignoring all calls from Jungkook and your Jisoo-unnie. You only answered one text, and it went like this:

To: Paul Verlaine I accept the scholarship. When can I leave for France? ***

A/N: Hi guys, apologies if there are so many boring jargon, i tried to minimize it as much as i could, but they’re mostly imperative for the story to progress, so i couldn’t fully eradicate it. This chapter is a bit funny to me because honestly, I am so OC who couldn't forget lectures I've learned during college 😆 I've written SO MANY academic papers because of that company's scandal.

anyway, i’ve mentioned before that this fic is originally a bsd fanfic, so the oc is patterned to chuuya nakahara, please stop sending me anon message complaining that oc is cussing too much and she overdoes it because I know. she is supposed to be that way and trust me when I say it is also imperative for the plot. you will come to realize that in the following chapter, but if it really annoys you, please do yourself a favor and stop reading this fic. there are so many fics out there which are much more well-written and would not annoy you. read that instead. thank you ~~

as usual, comments are highly valued! i’ll edit this chapter later, my eyes are hurting now huhu

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