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seosracha · 2 years

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CUPID'S ARROW! lee heeseung x f!reader

SYNOPSIS-> you and heeseung, the schools hot topic and archer, have always despised one another. ruining each other's presentations, tripping each other in the hallways- you name it. so when the boy stops tormenting you due to his new girlfriend, you realize maybe you wanted him more than you thought you did.

PAIRING-> lee heeseung x fem!reader

GENRE-> enemies to lovers, highschool au, fluff, a little bit of angst maybe?!:!:??' oneshot

WORDCOUNT-> 9k ! (hello ?)

AUTHORS NOTE-> in honor of my favorite libra i decided to comeback🤗 if this flops im leaving again Okiiiii Purr👌 this took me 5 years By The Way. I dont even remember if i had a perm taglist Hel! Update i found itReblogs are greatly appreciated let your favourite enha tumblr senior pop off

PERM TAGLIST-> @bubblytaetae @qghosty @viagumi @artstaeh @bigtoewinwin @strwberrydinosaur @enhacolor @rendezrei @shinsou-rii @notrosemary

The school's atmosphere was always bustling, you and your small friend group never felt like outsiders in these rusty walls. Graduation was right around the corner and as much as it should have been a good thing, you felt as if a huge part of your life will be taken away from you. Instead you'll receive a piece of paper for the countless sleepless nights and mental breakdowns. You wondered where all the time between freshman year and the last months of senior year had gone.

Niki. He was with you since birth, or at least you liked to believe that. It was the perfect cliche, next door neighbor and family best friend born on the same day. You always called him a walking red flag for the numerous times he'd do something against the norms. It was small things like pouring his milk first or more concerning instincts where he’d tie his shoes before actually getting into them. He’d defend himself with the barrier of time saving, but you doubted it was even true. But aside the weird things he’d do, the true him was a sunny and caring person. He liked the feeling that making people happy gave him. He put the people closest to him before himself. In Conclusion, he had a heart of gold but a brain full of air.

Jungwon. It has always been hard for you to give a coherent depiction of his personality. Every first of the month he became a new person. In September he made ‘deez nuts’ jokes but as soon as october came they were old and cringe. His confusing being made Jungwon an interesting and alluring person. Although he changed his identity every month or so, his heart and kind nature never changed. He was your personal 911, under the phone for every small inconvenience or big downfall. You loved every part of him and would never trade the clumsy boy for anyone else.

Yunjin. She was outgoing and so talkative it was almost impossible not to fall asleep during one of her storytimes. In freshman year you told her to befriend the school's most envied girl, Miyoung. The moment you almost lost her to the shit person Miyoung was, you realized how much your friendship really meant to you. Yunjin was stubborn so it took you a lot of courage to confront her about the problem. She also pulled the swim team's captain, Jake . Most people envied her for the bond she shared with him, some wondered how these two people even got together in the first place. It was true. Yunjin was nothing like Jake, but maybe her true self was the reason she fit so well into the mold he gave her.

You all assumed the entirety of your small town was or is in this school. The people were welcoming and talked until their tongues went dry. You all internally agreed on making the most out of the time spent in school before going on with the miserable life this town was offering.

The only exception was Lee Heeseung.

He tried to make your life miserable even before graduating. One dirty look could make you shut off for the entirety of the next period on your time table. And if that wasn’t enough he’d try to ruin everything good you had left of that day. Sometimes he’d leave you alone, just to make you believe it was all over. Those days always felt like the rain before the storm. He was nothing but a full of himself asshole who rode off of academic success and school popularity. Girls admired him for his archery achievements and tall, sporty figure.

It was hard to tell exactly where it had all started, the competitiveness and hatred he shared towards you. How did sitting together at lunch, or attending his competitions turn into something so disastrous and sad.

Perhaps it was the track you both took up, and had to compete against each other in. Or maybe your final results that topped his. On the other hand it could've been the brief relationship between you and his best friend, Park Sunghoon. But you’d rather believe it's just pure jealousy. You were always better than him in everything except that pointless arrow shooting he cherished so much. No one performed as well as him in archery so maybe that was the reason he liked to rub it in your face every chance he got.

You got to know him from both sides, and sometimes you’d deny the fact you missed him before he got brainwashed by the meaningless highschool fame.

“It’s eight, right?” Heeseung asked, pen pointing towards the answer in the middle of all his scribbles.

His glasses were constantly sliding off his nose, as he used all the brain power left after the tiring school day to solve his algebra homework. The numbers started to look all the same, and he wondered if x was a number or the problem he had to solve.

“I got 4” you said and he sighed.

His head hung low as he scribbled over the answer once again. Heeseung’s eyes traced over the equation, looking for the moment he made a mistake. He looked disappointed, and you felt bad for being the smarter one at that moment. It’s not like you corrected him to boost your own ego.

“How do you do it? Why do you always get the right answer?”he asked quietly, embarrassed with himself.

You had wondered yourself. Why did you always have the right answer to everything and algebra equations? It came to you naturally, and you never thought of it as something others didn’t possess.

“Show me your paper, Heeseung, '' you asked politely. His wrought hand slid the paper towards you, avoiding any eye contact. “2608 divided by 652 isn’t 8”you pointed to the set of numbers.

He said nothing, just wrote down his final answer on the spot under the question on his work sheet.

A beat of silence came in the library, and you just noticed how quiet it has gotten. Usually the small whispers of other students caught your ear, but now it felt as if you two were the only ones in this modest room. Your eyes trace the study desks and contrary to your belief, all of them were packed with groups of students studying. Some were deeply focused on their literature assignments or chemistry homework, others rather spoil the learning process for the rest.

“I think I’ll just give up. This is pointless” Heeseung murmured, packing his things back into the emptiness of his backpack.

“If you give up now, later it’ll be even harder for you. We’re only in freshman year” you said, grabbing onto his hand.

It was cold, and you felt the feeling of failure radiate off of him.

“Heeseung, I believe in you, I promise. Let’s just finish this and I’ll reward you with some dinner after this. How does that sound?”you sounded like a mom, but he didn’t seem to care.

A smile briefly decorated his face, as he brought the black backpack back up to his chest to pull out the worksheet once again. He grabbed a pen from your pencil case without asking, and continued to focus on the next question.

“I think that sounds nice,” he answered in a moment of comforting silence.

The thought of that day brought you back to the memory of the Heeseung you learned to like.

///

“Oh c'mon I have no money!” Jungwon said cuddling up to Niki.

Niki’s lunch plate was full of delicious food and the most random items the school's cafeteria offered. He looked at Jungwon and just slapped his hand away, pushing a handful of chips into his mouth. To show off probably. Jungwon sighed and moved onto his next target.

“What about you Y/nnie? I’m so hungry, can you hear my stomach rumbling?” he questioned giving you puppy eyes. You just scoffed and slid your extra sandwich towards him.

He squealed in excitement, and took the smallest bite, savoring the treasure in his hands. Niki just shook his head, and kept on eating what his plate gave him.

“I thought we agreed on sabotaging Jungwon every lunch?”he commented, and Jungwon glared at him confused.

“What do you mean by that?”he asked, concerned for himself, and his empty wallet that accompanied him to every lunch period.

“Where is Yunjin?” Niki asked, dogging the older boy's question.

Jungwon just sighed and finished whatever he had left of the sandwich in his hands.

“With Jake, I’m not sure,” you replied.

“They're probably making out under the bleachers again. I mean it’s summer time” Jungwon said, wiping his fingers on the soft material of his pants.

Every summer time, Jake and Yunjin would be caught under the bleachers of the football field. They’d usually get detention, and continue it there. All of you saw it as their little tradition, as disgusting as it was. The bleachers reeked of the most disgusting smell, probably not being thoroughly washed since they were built.

Jake seemed like the typical player type, full of himself, and way too proud of his athletic achievements, but he was the complete opposite. He liked to hide away in the depths of the school, never interrupted class with the stupid jokes boys his kind made, and loved small gestures people directed towards him. Jake liked Yunjins company because she brought out the best in him. She brought him to heights he's never seen, and that is not in a sexual context only. People didn’t envy her for being with Jake, but rather for being the missing piece in his puzzle.

“We should go to the football game next week!” Jungwon asserted excitedly at the thought of Yunjins and Jake's tradition.

“Isn't that something straight people like doing?” Niki snorted.

He didn’t see anything special in seeing the boys of this highschool compete against some other highschool nearby. He had a point though, our school is going to lose either way.

“I thought you and Sunoo were friends?” you said, remembering Kim Sunoo was a famous quarterback. He was tall, really attractive and actually looked decent on the field with all that gear.

Even you found yourself crushing on him in the beginning of sophomore year. He had a charming aura that you wanted to get to know better. It obviously didn’t work after he indirectly rejected you. Looking back at it now, you aren't sure what went through your mind.

“Well my friendship with him doesn’t mean I care enough to watch him throw a ball around” Niki shrugged.

It was hot and dry, the sun peeked through the large windows. It hit your back, warming you in a not so comfortable way.

“I could really get a cold water right now” you sighed and looked over to Niki who despite having an overflowing plate, didn’t possess any drink at all.

You regretted voicing your inner thoughts as the chair behind you jerked. It was like you could predict the future when Heeseung’s tall figure covered the boiling sun that spread through your back.

“You want something to drink, Y/nnie?” Heeseung said and you could feel his eyes burning a hole on the back of your head.

His arms extended to grab the Sprite off his table. Sunghoons hand stopped him.

“Leave her alone dude” he said calmly.

Jay and Sunghoon have grown tired of Heeseung’s childish antics. They knew he had absolutely no reason to keep on making you miserable. They’ve called him out on it countless times, but he doesn’t seem to care at all.

“And what if I don’t? You’re not her boyfriend anymore”he whispered and groped the drink in his hand.

He turned back to you smiling, your body was already facing his, a look on your face he knew well. It was you signalizing you knew what was coming. It’s not like he hasn’t pulled this ‘prank’ at least forty times this year.

“Back to you. What about a Sprite, hm?”he said with a sly smile.

“Can you just leave me alone, seriously?” you said, unfazed by his dominant act “You already spilled coffee on me last week, Heeseung”you added and he chuckled.

“Yeah I did, and it was fucking awesome” he said twirling the can in his hand.

You felt the fizzling liquid quickly move on from your freshly washed hair to your forehead and along the length of your shoulders. You felt sticky, and disgusting. Heeseung laughed, probably being the only one who found the incident funny.

The chair jerked once again, and Sunghoon stood up pushing Heeseung away from you. He took the tissues from the pocket in his jacket and handed them to you.

“You don’t have to help me, you know?” you said avoiding eye contact. Sunghoon shrugged.

“This is the least I can do to make up for having an annoying and childish friend”he mutters, but the admission alone was enough to calm your heart.

Your warm hand trembles slightly as you grab the tissues from him. You wiped whatever you could off your face, and put the wet hair into a messy ponytail. Words leap at the tip of your tongue as you hold back everything in you to keep yourself from wrestling Heeseung to the floor.

“I think we need to talk, Heeseung” you say and he calms his laughter down.

“For what? No need to waste anymore time on you today” he laughs and gives you that dumb face you hate.

You exhale yet another breath of annoyance “I don’t think you have anything better to do, if this is the peak of your day”

“I do, right Sunghoon?” he asks, hoping to get the answer he wanted but Sunghoon stays quiet, observing the scene before him. “Why do you still act the way you did when you two dated? Seriously, it’s so annoying” he huffed.

“Cause you’re being an asshole, Heeseung” Jay interjected, still seated by the trios usual table.

“And you’re being stuck up. What's wrong in having a little fun?” he sighed.

“You’re the only one having fun, Heeseung” you said, and he stared into your eyes.

He wasn’t fazed by your words or anyones in fact. He wanted the high ground in life so going under the influence of peoples opinion wasn’t even an option for him.

“I have to put myself first” he giggled, and you rolled your eyes at his stupid comment.

He was standing inches away from you, and you could swear the heat was radiating off of him. He smelled of Japanese cherry blossoms. You found that strange, expecting a man like him to wear the strongest cologne out there.

The truth was, Heeseung always went for a softer look. He had the whole package from the hair to the shoes. Maybe it was one of his tactics to stand out and showcase his individuality as best as he could.

“Can you just let this go? The whole act you have going on. It’s become old”you say, your voice monotone. He looks around the cafeteria.

“I don’t see anyone better to make fun of” he states, and grabs your hand “Consider that as a compliment” he adds, and smiles brightly.

No matter how much time has passed from the day you met to this moment, his sweet and charming smile never changed. It was made to mesmerize others, and sometimes you couldn't help but get excited.

Your hand jerks away from his “Fuck, just cut it out, please. Just let me have some fun with my friends before graduation” you plead.

Heeseung has never seen you actually beg him to stop. As much as an asshole he was, maybe you were right. He didn’t think about graduation until now.

Heeseung was scared to graduate and leave his school career behind. He knew whatever accomplishments he had in archery would give him nothing in return in college. He knew the adoration of younger girls wouldn't transcript to college. And he knew his friends wouldn't waddle after him. He knew he’d be alone again.

He stayed quiet. The only thing consoling the immediate silence in the small circle you made, was the chatter of other students placed around the cafeteria. Heeseung’s heart courses unsteady blood through the canyons of his uneasy stomach as he exhales a rocky breath.

“Whatever” he murmurs into the sunshine, leaving you and his friends behind as he walks out of the large lunch hall.

///

The school days became more steady and quiet. No clouds in the sky, and no interruptions during lunch. No dumb comments when you spoke in class, and certainly no cocky notes in your locker.

You didn’t see Sunghoon’s and Jay’s smiley faces waving at you anymore as you sat down at your usual lunch table with Niki, Jungwon and Yunjin, since they didn’t sit behind you anymore. At first you wondered why, but you just assumed it was a blessing from the god above. Not that you hated Sunghoon or Jay, you could never, it was more about the boy you despised.

Sunghoon and you used to date, and you knew he couldn’t get enough of the comments Heeseung made about it on a daily basis. He started using it as an insult, and scolding him everytime he tried to help you after one of Heeseung’s foolish pranks. The reality of your relationship was pretty sad. Cause not only is Heeseung using it as a taunt towards your now ex boyfriend, but he was the authentic reason for your breakup. He felt as if you stole his best-friend from him, so he made your lover choose between you or him. The choice is probably obvious by now. I mean he had no certainty this love would last.

“It’s been pretty quiet without Heeseung coming around, hm?” Yunjin whispered, doodling hearts around her English worksheet. A smile perks up on her lips as she writes Jake's name in one of them.

“Well, finally”you reply shortly, focusing on the question before you. You twirl the pen between your fingers, as Yunjin chuckles softly.

“Weren’t you used to it by now? I mean isn’t it weird to not have him spill drinks on you anymore?” she nagged you once again, knocking you out of your trance.

“Who wouldn't be used to it? But I definitely do not miss having wet hair and clothes for the rest of the day”you smile, and write down one of the answers.

Of course you felt like something was missing, but you’d never actually admit it. You knew something was missing, but coming to the full realization of what that was, belittled you.

“Didn’t you ever like Heeseung? Like at some point you had to like him. Especially when you two were practically besties!”she exclaimed, and you had to hit her, afraid Jay might hear.

Jay sat next to Yeonjun, head in hands. You snook secretive glances at the boy, and he seemed just as confused as you were. He kept asking his deskmate for answers but from what it looked like, he didn't have them either.

“I don’t know, Yunjin. Maybe, but it surely wasn’t anything big. You know, Heeseung used to be pretty fucking cool back then”you smiled, your mind rushing back to the memory of freshman Heeseung.

“Niki was so jealous of him, I’ll never forget that” Yunjin giggled, and grabbed your pink highlighter to color in her heart dedicated to Jake.

She smiled as the heart filled with a bright pink color, fading her boyfriend's name a bit, but she made sure to correct it right after.

“Don’t you ever hang out with Heeseung? Especially since you spend so much time with Jake?” you asked curiously.

She chuckled and shook her head.

“We never hang out with a third person. We’d probably make them really uncomfortable,“ she answers, and you laugh along with her.

“Back to you, Jake told me Heeseung doesn’t even talk about you anymore. Can you believe that?” she huffed, as if it should have offended you.

You shrugged. The less embarrassing things Jake, Sunghoon or Jay knew about you, the better. But you wondered why he’d talk about you in the first place.

“He’s also been really secretive lately. They were supposed to go play some games at Jay’s, but he bailed out. Jake said he never does that '' she exclaimed dramatically.

“I really don’t care, Yunjin. Maybe he finally realized what a shit person he truly is” you explain, and she just laughs.

“I hope so too” she whispered a short response “Are you still coming to the game? I finally convinced Niki to come ‘see his friend throw a ball around’ ”she made air quotes, and you chuckled.

“Yeah, me and Jungwon wanted to go from the start anyways” you say, and she squeals excitedly.

///

“Can we sit here?” Sunghoon’s voice caught your attention, as he stood alongside Jay and Jake.

Yunjins face lit up at the boy standing in front of her “Yes!” she squealed, and clung onto Jake’s side “You never sit with me at lunch, baby” she murmured into his chest, and he giggled.

“She’s right, you guys never sit here. What happened to mood killer Heeseung?” Jungwon asked, and they shrugged, just as curious as him.

You looked around the cafeteria, but in fact a six foot, blue haired man was nowhere to be seen. You always wondered why he chose a hair color that could potentially make him look like an idiot amongst the towns people, but you couldn't lie and say it didn't fit him.

“He’s not here, and he’s not answering our calls, I think he’s skipping,” Sunghoon said tiredly.

“I heard he’s been ditching you guys quite often lately” Niki asserted sarcastically , picking at his lunch uninterested.

His parents cut off his money after he failed his math exam, so he no longer had the option to buy out the whole buffet. He was stuck with the disgusting, soggy food the school offered for free.

“Yeah, he has. I don’t want to offend anyone, but after the lunch incident it’s like something has changed in him,”Jay said, being a witness of the scene.

“Why would I be offended by all people, the more freedom, the better” you said, and Jay silently agreed with you.

Getting rid of the fear's tight grip, really washed a lot of other things off of you. It made you so much more comfortable and especially much cleaner, literally and practically. But his sudden ignorance and complete change in demeanor wasn’t all pluses, but maybe it was too early for you to realize that.

“Seriously I should've studied for that exam” Niki muttered, pushing his plate of soggy pasta away. He reached for his backpack but found nothing edible inside.

“What’s wrong with him? That pasta used to be the highlight of my day in freshman year” Jay hummed.

“There is something seriously wrong with you, man”Niki responded “That pasta tastes like battery acid, and maybe like the crumbs on my bed on a good day”

“You eat the crumbs you find in your bed?” Sunghoon asks, disgusted.

Another red flag Niki carried around with him.

“Yeah, you don’t? I thought everyone eats the crumbs in their bed” he said, and nobody agreed.

“First of all, I wash my bedsheets and don’t eat in my bed” Sunghoon said, and Niki scoffed.

“You’re seriously mentally ill, all of you actually. Bedsheets are supposed to be changed every two months or maybe every month if I feel generous”he educates them.

“Me and Y/n once slept over at your house, and I woke up with crumbs in my ass” Jungwon said, and Niki rolled his eyes.

“Could have slept on the floor then”Niki asserted, and sneaked one of Yunjins fries into his mouth. She was way too occupied with Jake to even notice or have any awareness of the people around her “Okay I think we should stop talking about my crumbs now, please”

“Trust me, no one wants to know about your disgusting ass habits,” Jungwon sniggered.

Somehow you found yourself looking around the hall for that one familiar face, yet as good as your vision was, you couldn’t spot him anywhere. Why did you want to see him so bad?

“What about you, Y/n?” Jay asked, and you had no idea what the initial conversation was even about.

Jay had changed the subject, moving on from Niki a long time ago, but your mind was focused on something, or rather someone else.

“What?”

“I asked what you plan on doing after graduation” he smiled, and you pushed your focus back onto the group around you.

“I don’t know yet. I do want to go to college, a lot actually, but what for, I’m still trying to figure that out” you said quickly. Jay nodded understandingly.

“What about a boyfriend?” he smirked and nugged Sunghoon. He just rolled his eyes and moved away from the boy.

“I don't think I need one at the moment”you answered with a smile.

It went quiet as Jungwon's face changed drastically. He saw something others couldn't make out just yet.

“Speaking of boyfriends and girlfriends,, is that fucking Miyoung?”Jungwon exclaimed, and the mention of her name made Yunjin jump away from Jake’s arms.

“What are you talking about?”she said, her body trembling. Her heart began racing as Jungwon pointed to the entry door.

You didn’t want to look, suspecting the outcome.

“So that's where he went,”Sunghoon laughed, and before he could call them over, Niki stopped him. Sunghoon quickly realized, and gave up on that idea.

“No way he actually started dating Miyoung, isn’t she like a total bitch” Jay said, directing his words towards Yunjin.

“She is the most awful person I’ve ever met,” Yunjin said, her gaze still glued to the couple.

“Well that explains why Heeseung’s dating her now,” Jungwon chuckled.

There was the confirmation you didn’t necessarily want.

Heeseung and Miyoung are dating now.

“So that’s why he doesn’t bother you anymore! He doesn't want to make his girlfriend jealous” Jay exclaimed, you just laughed quietly, and tried to completely cut out your friend's words with the company of your own phone.

“This has got to be a serious one if he gave up on teasing Y/n” Sunghoon said.

As much as it made you happy he left you alone, the reason behind it did not fire up that same emotion in you. But you could not stop life from moving onwards, and if this is what makes him satisfied then so be it, right?

“Why did you stop being friends with her anyways, Yunjin?”

…

“I can’t, me and Miyoung are going to the movies” Yunjin said excitedly, but you couldn't quite return her feeling.

Once again, you were being ditched for Miyoung, and it felt pretty fucking shit. It felt as if Yunjin was drifting away from you for some new girl she barely knew. But you couldn’t stop her, she was your best friend and her happiness was your priority.

So when Yunjin and Miyoung were enjoying the movies you and she loved, Heeseung was by your side. He listened, and helped you cope with the pain of being replaced. You remember him holding your hand so tightly, telling you how much you mean to many people, and to never doubt Yunjins platonic love for you. It was a new thing for you and him. You were usually at each other's side when exams came, and when he competed for the gold medal, but never when a crisis striked.

You wondered why he did it. Did he just feel bad for you and didn’t want to make you more miserable when you came to him?

Miyoung was your complete opposite, she was more like Yunjin. That’s why they connected so fast. You envied their friendship despite the fact you were still considered Yunjins best friend.

When Heeseung heard all about Miyoung, he couldn't hold back the shit he had to say about her. Every bad thing he recognized within her, from him, sounded fifty times worse. It was his way of helping you realize Yunjin will grasp that soon enough too.

And he was right. Miyoung had nothing but bad intentions towards Yunjin.

…

Maybe seeing him all over Miyoung hurt ten times more because he was there for you when no one else was. He was there when his now girlfriend wanted to tear your friendship apart.

///

“You’ve been acting really off recently” Jay commented, while you two accompanied each other on the walk back home.

Jay lived in the same apartment complex as you, but you never cared enough to notice him. Usually it was only you and Niki ignoring the rest of your neighbors.

“I think it’s just your imagination, Jay '' you laughed, and took another bite out of Jay's candy bar.

He made a sad and offended face when half of his chocolate bar was gone.

“No seriously, even Jungwon noticed, and I trust him”he said.

“You and Jungwon really hit it off, hm?”you asked, trying to bring the spotlight off of you.

You guessed it worked when Jay's face lit up “Yeah, we did! He actually seems to like spending time with me”

“We all love spending time with you and everyone else, Jay” you smiled brightly, and he laughed.

It was true. Ever since Heeseung completely cut them off for his girlfriend's company, your friend group adopted them. Yunjin couldn't be more happy now that she got to spend every second of her day with Jake. And you felt happy cause they gave you the little unreal pieces of Heeseung you found yourself missing.

Seeing him with Miyoung, turned something upside down in you. It didn’t let you function properly and it felt like you've hit rock bottom. You couldn't help but wonder, why her? Although anybody else wouldn't make the growing feeling in your stomach any better. It was still a new thing to you, and you couldn't quite put into words what it was.

“Do you miss Heeseung? Or at least the person he used to be?”you asked, and Jay wasn’t expecting you to be the one to initiate a conversation about Heeseung.

“Well obviously. We still talk, but it isn't the same at all. I really want to go back to the day when it all went downhill, maybe I could've done something,”he answered with a fabricated confidence.

“Don’t blame yourself for something you can't control,” you said, holding his hand. It was a habit you picked up from the one and only Heeseung himself. “For the short time I knew Heeseung, he’s just like that. You never know what's coming until it's already done”

“Short time? You and him were constantly talking in freshman, I’m really shocked you didn't catch feelings for him back then”he laughed.

Feelings. Now you realize that maybe after all you did like Heeseung. It came to you after you found yourself reminiscing on the memories you shared. He used to mean a lot to you, and when he started changing his demeanor towards you, it wasn't easy to let go. You tried to fix it but you didn't have any tools. You just had to buy a replacement, but there weren't any others like him in stock. That’s why you started dating Sunghoon, because he was the closest you could've gotten to Heeseung.

“I don't think I catch feelings that easily,”you laughed.

Lie.

You lay in your bed helplessly, the sheets clinging onto your sweaty body. Your room elopes you in a constant darkness, and the wind blows softly through your open window. You can’t focus on anything, your heartbeat picking up at every sharp inhale.

Your mind was racing from one thing to another, but someone who stayed consistently flooding your brain was Heeseung. Because you have finally come to the realization this was never about Miyoung or the childish pranks, it was about him.

It was an untypical connection you longed to study.

///

“I know what's going on so you either say it yourself, or I’ll just be blunt about it right now” Niki said through the speaker of your phone as you kept on straining from the real purpose of the call.

You trusted Niki, but this is something bigger than the time you told him about Sunoo. Back then the only thing you two could do about it was laugh and make up fake scenarios with you as the main character.

“If we both know then why talk about it? It doesn't matter anyway” you murmured, fiddling with the settings of your fan.

“Because I want to help you, and if you don’t tell me the full thing I have nothing to stand on” he explained, and you sighed.

On one hand, you wanted to hear Nikis advice, but would that really help? Would any of this really help your already fucked up situation?

“I don’t even know where to start, Niki” you said and he let out a sound of understandment.

“Just tell me everything, don’t hold back. You can trust me with this” he told you after a brief moment of silence.

You stayed quiet, attempting to process everything through. The admission alone was hard enough, but spilling out the truth to one of your bestfriends was the real challenge.

“Niki, I’m not sure myself, if what I feel is real. I’m wondering if any of this is real” you started softly, and he kept quiet signalizing for you to continue. “I want to have him all for myself, and I know it’s selfish, but what can I do anyways”

“Do you seriously want this?” he asked.

“I don’t know Niki, I don’t know anything just yet” you responded.

“I think it’s okay to not have answers,” he assured.

There was nothing that could help your blossoming feelings for Heeseung. Even after he embarrassed you on multiple occasions you couldn't do anything but fall deeper in love with him. Maybe it’s because you still had the feeling his freshman self was still somewhere inside of him under the pile of shit he’s been consuming lately.

“Okay” you mutter. “Just be realistic with me” you ask of him, and he nods understandingly.

“I would never lie to you, Y/n” he whispers “Just follow your gut, okay? I know that may be hard, but if you actually want to try, do it. There's nothing to lose here anyways” he says.

You nod, unable to say anything. It’s weird, the feeling you're experiencing. It leaves you uneasy, the thought of your current situation. You’re unsure of anything going on.

“I want you to be nothing but happy, if it's with him, or anyone else, but sometimes things don't go the way we want them to because we don't trust ourselves” he adds, noticing you've been awfully quiet.

“I don’t want to embarrass myself again, Niki '' you mutter.

What were you thinking, seriously? Heeseung was the unreachable boy, only the prettiest girls of this school could have. Miyoung was one of them, drop dead gorgeous, skinny with porcelain skin. You didn’t see those features in yourself, but maybe it was just your insecurities getting the best of you.

“You can’t embarrass yourself if you don't even try. Even if you do, what's wrong with that? You know you have us, we’ll never make fun of you” he assured with a soft smile.

“Is it even worth it? I mean I don't have any assurance this would last if anything. What if we just went back to hating each other, and I’m left all alone again” you ask, and he shakes his head.

He gets closer to the camera, head in hands. “Just because of what happened with Sunghoon, doesn't mean you have to kill any hope you have of a relationship with others. That's not how it works” he tells you softly. “Just trust yourself, and the process, okay?”

///

You had a goal.

Win Heeseung back by graduation.

You always considered yourself to be a competitive person, not exactly in the right field, but competitiveness always lingered somewhere in your gut. And that’s exactly why you would do anything to feel his touch again.

It didn't take you long to realize you took his teasing for granted. Your mind was begging for him to leave you alone, but your heart perhaps liked the constant attention, and the fact he’d think about you more than anyone. It was stupid, but what could you do? It was hard not to miss the not-so sweet nicknames he’d give you. It was hard not to miss his dumb pranks and sweet laughter.

How were you going to reach your goal? You didn’t exactly know. You just decided to follow your gut, just as Niki said days before. Maybe you were reaching too far, but what's wrong in admiring the stars?

“Sunoo said the team has been actually working hard this month. I’m starting to gain hope in our schools first win” Niki said, clicking away at the Superstar SM on his phone “Fuck, I lost” he groaned.

“Only the best can do Kick It on hard mode” Jay shrugged, receiving a death stare from Niki, who loaded up the song again.

“I don’t think you should get your hopes up too high, Niki. Sunoo said that last time, and guess what?They lost” Sunghoon murmured, copying Jake's chemistry notes.

You silently agreed with Sunghoon. The only reason you all tagged along for the game was the free food your school was giving out on match day. It was probably their way of compensating for the awful game our football team was about to present to us.

“You’re seriously so bad at this, '' Jay laughed, and pulled out his own phone when he saw Niki lose once again.

“Don’t be a show off, I’m just having a bad day. Look, I literally have two stars on Cherry Bomb” he shoved the phone into Jays face.

“Stop being annoying, Niki” Jungwon commented, and the boy looked like he was about to kill him.

“It’s not my fault, he started it!” he said, offended.

“I just got an S level Doyoung!” Jay squealed.

“No way, you’re such a liar, '' Niki said, sliding over to Jay's side.

While the two boys were preoccupied with the beloved game, and Jake was busy keeping Yunjin her special company, Sunghoon and Jungwon were copying Jay's notes, you couldn't stop looking over at Heeseungs table. He seemed to find himself new friends amongst Miyoungs circle. He sat there laughing with Kwangsun and Taehyun, keeping his arm around Miyoung.

Kwangsun and Taehyun were Jakes teammates so you knew them very well. Not only were they the worst on the swimming team, they also had the worst personality. Talking to them was like talking to a wall, they lacked any sense of humor and interest in the world around them. You wondered how Heeseung was talking to them so comfortably. Probably because they weren't responding so it didn't even matter what he said.

“How are you feeling? Everything alright?” Sunghoon asked, keeping his eyes on the notebook. He didn’t look at what he was writing down, just blindly copied Jay's work.

“I’m okay? Why are you even asking?” you answer with a question.

He laughs, and drops the pen. Jungwon takes the opportunity, and slides the notebook closer to himself.

“You’ve been awfully quiet, you know?” he states softly.

“You shouldn't worry about me, Sunghoon. I see you have a lot more to copy, seriously do it before lunch ends” you say trying to change the subject.

Was Sunghoon suspecting something? Did he know something you didn’t? It was hard to tell, and that was making you even more stressed than you already were.

“I’m your friend, I worry about you, Y/n. But i respect it if you don’t want to talk about it now” he smiles and picks up his blue pen “Give that book back” he groans, and slides the book back over to the middle.

“This is unfair, I can barely see what's written there!” Jungwon fights, but the boy next to him just shrugs.

Were your friends catching on? Were you really that obvious?

“Life is still going on, three rainbow stars, beat that” Jay exclaimed, a cocky tone to his voice.

Life is still going on, right.

///

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long!” Niki exclaimed happily, as his eyes scanned the buffet in front of the football field's bleachers. He looked like he was ready to stuff his face any moment now.

“Don’t get too excited, we might not be able to pack you into my car after this” Jay said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Very funny, Jayshit. Let a man enjoy his food” Niki responded, grabbing the first pastry in sight. “Sunoo claimed some really good seats for us, by the way” he added bluntly.

“Maybe you really are useful sometimes, Niki,” Jake said, and got a middle finger in return.

“I remember last time we got some nosebleeds,” Jungwon said, helping Niki sneak half of the buffet into his backpack.

“This is why I am always useful,” Niki said, smiling at Jake.

“That makes no sense, if you were useful you’d get the good seats too last game” Jake asserted.

“Shut up, Jake. Don’t you have a girlfriend to take care of?” Niki rolled his eyes.

You chuckled at his child-like behavior, and grabbed Jay’s drink to take a sip yourself.

“What's up with you and always stealing my shit, get some yourself” Jay said, and jerked the drink away from you. You laugh, and smile at him.

You look around for any familiar faces, but it seems as if no one has arrived yet. That's what you get for being two hours early, just because Niki can't miss out on the strawberry donuts.

“Isn’t that Miyoung, and Heeseung? I thought he hated football” Jake chuckles.

They're here too? It can't get worse can it?

“Miyoung likes it. Her brother is on the team” Yunjin says, and Jake nods.

You drop your head to the ground, and start playing with the strings of your hoodie. Maybe if you don’t say anything you’ll sulking will go unnoticed.

“He hasn’t talked to us for a good two weeks. He really is down bad” Sunghoon comments.

“Do you think Miyoung forbade him from talking to us?” Jay asked, hoping for Yunjin to answer, since her brief friendship with the girl might allow her to know.

“She usually does when she doesn't like her partner's friends” Yunjin fulfilled Jay's wish.

“Why so? Especially since I have probably never talked to her” Sunghoon said, a confused look spread on his face.

“I wish I knew that one,” Yunjin said.

Seeing Heeseung with her was different for you this time. It's like something turned inside of you. Maybe it was because of the fact he loves her enough to sit through a game he hates with his whole soul and heart. You wonder if he’d do the same for you.

The scenery was beautiful. The sound of soft chatter and the summer breeze swayed through your features. The sun hid behind the clouds, the only source of light being the large lamps placed around the field. It was the perfect highschool cliche, but your mind was constantly at war with the bound feelings. It never left you alone. Before you fell asleep, while you ate breakfast, while you showered or brushed your teeth. He always flooded your brain.

“I think I’ll get in a quick bathroom stop before this mess starts” you smile, and get up from your seat next to Jungwon.

“You want me to go with you?” Yunjin asks, averting her gaze from Jake to you.

“Sorry, I don’t really feel like making you hear me pee, I’ll be back soon” you smile, and Yunjin just giggles, setting her head back on Jake’s soft shoulder.

You can’t look at her being happy with him anymore. It makes you want to throw up.

The gentle sound of the latest pop hits poured from the speakers mounted in every corner of the school building as you made your way to the restroom, feeling helpless. Various students hastily made their way to the field.

Yeah, sure, you did hate him. But one look at said enemy, all those words could be shoved out the window.

The air felt so heavy, as you sat on the sinks marble. No matter how hard you searched, there still was no answer. There was no escape and you’ve already lost any control of yourself. You were going insane each sleepless night thinking about him.

You looked into the mirror's reflection and didn’t recognize yourself anymore. Have you changed out of your own pure will, or was it because maybe you weren’t enough for Heeseung when he left. Was it the way you looked, acted or was it any of your other flaws? There’s no answer.

You completely lost track of time, but nobody seemed to be looking for you anyways.

A quiet sound echoed through the bathroom. You didn't even bother to look, expecting Yunjins voice to hit your ears anytime now.

“Do you know how much I hate you?” a so familiar voice reaches your ear.

It still hasn’t hit you. The same person you were bawling your eyes out over, was so close to your helpless figure, yet the calmness of your heart didn’t let the feeling sink in just yet. It was probably the years of Heeseung’s torment that made you believe he was here only to return to his old antics.

You can’t bear to look at him. It’ll just go full circle, and explode, really.

“No” you respond, still avoiding eye contact.

“Words can’t describe” he says, and you can feel him smile. “I go fucking insane whenever I think of you” he added breathily.

You shiver at the harshness in his voice. You didn’t remember it being so coarse.

“Don’t do this, Heeseung” your voice shakes.

“Look at me,” he whispers, and harshly lifts your chin up to make you eye to eye with him.

A long drawn-out sigh from the bottom of his chest leaves him. He slowly lowered his head, and immediately froze in position; making the closeness between you much more intimate. The air around you felt warmer as his eyes pierced through you, studying every detail of your face.

“I’ll show you just how much I hate you” he finally speaks,

Any thoughts you had before Heeseung stepped into the pity party you were hosting in the bathroom, flew right out as his lips smashed into your soft and delicate ones. Your heart heaves uneasily, as you give into the feeling of him against you.

The kiss is lustfull, full of anger he had stored up ever since you went separate ways. He didn’t hold back, his tongue relentlessly prying your mouth open until you gave into his action. The lack of oxygen pulled you apart, your mouth still open from the initial shock.

Yet his lips felt like a magnet; pulling you closer and closer, un-allowing any resistance. You couldn’t stop yourself, leaning over again, wanting to feel his soft lips once again. There really was no turning back.

“Could Sunghoon make you feel this good?” he asked breathlessly, as his lips planted softs kisses on your jawline.

“No” you breathe out, and he smiles.

“That’s what I thought” he smirked, caressing your warm cheek.

Even the mere thought of you and Sunghoon made him burn inside. He liked having you all to himself. Sharing was never an option.

It suddenly hit you.

“Heeseung, why are you doing this?” you asked, backing away from the boy, throwing his hands off your face, feeling a sudden disconnection between the two of you.

“You know how obsessed I am with you?” he whispered, maintaining eye contact. “You remember when you asked me to leave you alone, because you wanted to have just a little bit of fun before graduation?”

You nodded, not knowing exactly what this was about. Hearing all the sweet, yet concerning things that came out of his mouth, made you want to forgive him right there and then without any good explanation to the years of hell he gave you.

“It made me realize, you know, maybe I wanted you more than I thought I did” he finished and although he tried to maintain a dominant act, you could still see his sly smile peek through.

You couldn't give into him that fast.

“Oh so you decided to start dating Miyoung? Makes so much sense Lee Heeseung” you scoffed, trying to intimidate him at least a little bit.

It obviously didn’t work because Heeseung seemed to be unfazed by your words.

“Feelings get caught up in the mind” he said calmly “But loving you long makes it feel a little better”

Whatever he was trying to say didn’t matter, because really you didn’t care. You weren’t gonna lose the opportunity you’ve been manifesting ever since he left.

“Promise this is the last time you pull this type of shit?” you ask after a minute of silence.

Heeseung lets out an airy laugh and smiles. He lifts up his pinky finger, and intertwines it with yours.

“Promise”

Heeseung really wasn’t that tough after all.

///

Heeseung can’t exactly go back to the moment he started to fall in love with you. Maybe it was the day you helped him with his math homework, or maybe the time you cheered him on while he competed in the archery finals.

But he knows exactly when he realized it.

“You promise you won’t tell him, right?” you ask, smiling.

The two of you sat at the back of the library for your weekly study session. You’ve been giving him hints of a recent love interest, and as an unusually curious man he wanted to know more.

“Who's he, just tell me! And I know him, interesting” he laughs.

“It’s Sunghoon. Yes, your best friend Park Sunghoon” you announce and he feels his heart drop. He hoped you’d take him by surprise, and let the words, ‘You Heeseung, it’s you whom I like’ leave your lips. But it was Sunghoon.

Fucking Sunghoon.

Of course, he wouldn’t let this ruin his friendship with Sunghoon. He was sure his friend didn’t even like you back, and soon enough he could be helping you get up after the heartbreak.

But what he didn’t expect was for you two to actually start dating.

At first he held all his anger in, trying his best to avoid any contact with you. Soon it turned into ignorance, and he found himself completely overlooking you. He thought of it as the better way out. When it got to the point he couldn't look past anymore, he made Sunghoon choose, knowing what would be the result of it. Sunghoon chose him, but you submitted to the feeling of hatred.

///

Now, after all this time, Heeseung could watch you bicker with your friends over the tiniest things with his own eyes. He could finally sit down at your usual spot in the library and receive the most prized tutoring from you once again. He could watch you accept your diploma, and run back to him with the biggest smile on your face.

Expressing love for you was different. Years of uncountable pranks, and hateful messages were all just the sweet feeling in disguise.

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bitethedustfools · 1 month

Text

Crossover Ideas pt 2

Danny Phantom X Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint X Honkai Star Rail

Where 3 unlikely God/Ancient/Aeon meets.

Fate is quite strange, quite like the beings that Kim Dokja had met. Still, despite all odds, they became friends. Or not. It is hard to describe their relationship.

Akivili just barged his way in for reasons unknown and treated him like a child despite Akivili being smaller than he was and he is pretty sure that he's older than Akivili anyway, with eternity and all.

Akivili refuted that he's definitely older and his warm golden eyes were filled with wisdom that's not fitting his age.

As for Danny, his were more curiousity in nature. He had intruded the train because he saw a train travelling in space and into different worldlines.

And he's definitely not a kid. Well, he used to and KDJ can see and felt various reasons why he is the same as they both.

Yep, totally a normal group here with 2 young adults and a teen and definitely not a trio whose age span is infinite

Nevertheless, it is nice to have companions once again.

Somehow, the two of them stayed in that train of his, travelling from worldline to another and KDJ had come to read another story.

A place where Akivili had came from and unknowingly, KDJ had stuck around that place for so long along with Danny to the point that his train had converted into the first Astral Express for the Nameless, guided by Akivili the Trailblaze, to be made a home and travel to everywhere.

Even if they are a common sight in the astral express, not many know their name nor see their true face, only recalling a a face blurred as though covered by a fog and that creepy looking kid that does not look like a person at all.

In fact, even Aeons themselves failed to distinguish their appearance nor did they ever recognized that they arent humans nor Aeons but something else similar (but powerful)

One day, the group slowly fell apart starting with the explosion of the first Astral Express.

Kim dokja was nowhere to be found.

---

xtra:

A system notification just popped out of nowhere and it read, "Constellation Demon King Of Salvation is looking at you" and you can feel the heavy gaze burdened on your soul for a few moments and then its gone. You dont understand whats going on and who this is.

All you knew is that the gaze pressured you terribly.

"The Oldest Dream is looking at you". Sunday and Adventurine flinched for the first time.

Someone saw Danny doing the most eldritch thing and ran to tell the others and they replied, "what kid? we dont have a kid here"

Danny being a menace and a prankster.

Akivili have favourite peoples and thats KDJ and Danny but those two are weird but theyre not going to comment on that.

Is KDj powerful than Aeons? Maybe. He did dreamt a world(s) and bring it to life. Certainly cunning. No doubt will disguise as Aeons if given the chance.

Danny? Pretty sure he got some hidden powerful abilities that he doesnt know exist and he rules the domain of the death/afterlife. Often got mistaken as "Terminus the Finality" (Or did they get that right..? just different Danny?)

Is Trailblaze something of an acheivement, marked in history to be remembered? Is it a burning will that is passed from one to another? A hope that burns brightly in the dark? The star guiding you to the right path?

What exactly is the Path of Trailblaze that Akivili thread upon?

Thats the idea for now.

How they meet basically (dont mind my train's design. I'm too lazy):

Headcanon that Akivili had an Empty Nest Syndrome, very fitting for Akivili (Eagle).

Akivili spotted a lost child in the distance and want to take him under his wings but ended up taking the train and invite more children. Not that KDJ is complaining, its been awhile afterall.

#orv #orv kdj #ghost king danny #danny phantom #hsr #honkai star rail #akivili #hsr akivili #kim dokja #Danny *saw a train in space:#“Ooo whats that?”#*proceed to abandon his work as a king and go on a trip and ended up protecting another worlds #dont know which one is older amongst the three but they definitely are older than the rest of the population #eldritch danny

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chiiyuuvv · 8 months

Text

[DAY 6] masterlist ᡣ𐭩 !

— " why are you staring? Is there something on my face? " ; friends to lovers ft. hunter

♡list : @yzerpoz , @imthisclosetokms , @rizzkisworld , @hyvelxve , @dogyunslover , @starryriize

"Hey! Why aren't you paying attention?" Seeun snaps his fingers in front of your zoned out face, a pout on his face as you blink away your daydreams. "Maybe she doesnt want to hear your rant." Says hunter who was scrolling on his phone unbothered, licking off some ketchup from his finger before resting his chin on it.

"Hunt-"

"Sorry, I'm just super sleepy." You cut off the boys that were just about to start their weekly fusses, a yawn leaving your lips as you rub your eyes, laying your arm on the lunch table before resting your forehead against it.

Seeun and hunter share a worried glance at you then each other, before deciding to keep quiet so they dont accidentally annoy you or something. Being sleepy was true.. but it wasnt the full truth. You werent daydreaming about climbing into your bed and clocking out for the day, you were daydreaming about a certain someone.

Seeun.

It was just so.. weird finding seeun anything other than annoying, your heart skipping beats whenever you catch him looking at you. Why was this the case? You werent sure, too overwhelmed with your feelings to pinpoint an exact answer. Seeun wasnt doing anything different. He was just his regular 'ol seeun self, being at the top of the class while also the class clown, finding new opportunities to make you and hunter laugh.

Yet now it feels like butterflies swarm your stomach whenever you crack a smile at seeuns behavior, hiding your face in your hands to cover your blush. It didn't help that seeun is touchy too, carefully prying your hands away to return the smile, your faces inches away from each other and it feels like your heart was going to explode.

It also didn't help you were starting to dream about the boy, shooting up every night to wipe the sweat from your brows when he was seconds away from kissing you.

In your dreams of course.

You could never imagine actually kissing seeun in real life, the nerves getting the best of you, plus, seeun didnt even like you. You were sure of it. He only saw you as a friend as he did with everyone else. Theres no need to be so delusional.

Until you hear a voice calling your name. And a warm hand attached to your hair, rubbing your scalp. You didnt know what was going on but you enjoyed it, a satisfied hum leaving your lips as you lean into the touch.

"Hey!" You hear that same voice again, a familiar voice. "Wake up, pleasee," you could hear the pout in the voice, and suddenly youre yanked from your precious sleep, lifting your head up to find your friends staring at you.

"Sorry, sorry. Wait- I fell asleep?" You ask confusedly. You dont even remember closing your eyes, let alone snoring. "Are you sure you're okay?" A concerned hunter asks, and although seeun doesnt say anything you can see the concern in his eyes.

When he was so caring, he was so cute, following you like a lost puppy just to make sure you were mentally and physically stable. It was adorable. "Why are you staring? Is there something on my face?" Seeun snaps you out of your thoughts, touching his face in confusion as you realize you were indeed staring.

"Huh? Oh nothing.. its nothing." You avoid his gaze, looking to your side to hide your red cheeks. While it might have worked on seeun, hunter could read you like a book, a smirk quipped onto his face as he watches you clueless idiots. He knew you two would like each other. If not then, it was definitely now.

He stretches his arms as the bell rings, signaling lunch and break time was over. His eyes follow your figure, watching as you hurriedly pack your things before bolting out of the door. But he was already a step in front of you. Patting your shoulder, he slows you down, his next words making your mind spin. "Just, you know, tell him."

Hunter says those five words so casually, like this wasnt some big deal, like he wasnt aware of how you affected you were before walking off, adjusting his straps like it was such an easy thing to do. You despised him, affectionly.

"Wait up!" Seeun runs after you, snapping you out of your thoughts once again. "You know, I've never seen you think before." He hurriedly moves away from your flying hand as you try to hit him, before comfortably walking beside you like a few seconds prior. "Serious, what's wrong? I've never seen you like this." He pouts again, his voice softening and you just want to jump off a cliff at how fast your heart was beating.

"Seeun, its nothi-"

"I know you." He cuts you off, grabbing your hands and looking deep into your eyes. "I know when somethings on your mind."

You open your mouth to say something, but it seemed like the words just evaporated. Seeun shakes his head, before affectionly rubbing his fingers on your palm. "If you cant say it, do it."

"What?"

"You heard me. Do it." You've never seen seeun so serious, his eyes boring into yours before you look away, nervous about the eye contact. But what you wanted to do.. could ruin your friendship. "Please.." he breaks you from your second guesses, his voice strained with desperation. So much desperation you decide to do it, ignoring the consequences.

And without stopping to think you actually do it, getting on your tippy toes to give the frozen boy a peck on the cheek. It was something small, but it felt like you were set on fire. Your hands were still connected so you look down at him, anxiously waiting for his repsonse as you chew on your bottom lip out of fear.

Did you actually ruin everything? A few seconds pass by and still nothing, your eyes stinging as you let go of his hands, about to book it to your next class and cry your eyes out. But you feel something tug at your wrist before youre slammed against the wall, seeun intertwining your hands before placing it above your head, leaning his own to lay his lips onto yours.

Your eyes widen and youre glad youre holding hands because you feel your knees getting weak, but after relaxing under his soft touch he wraps your hands around his neck, his own resting on your waist. You stay like that for a while, enjoying your presences while slowly deepening the kiss. It breaks after a couple seconds because of your shared smiles, your eyes fluttering open to stare at the other in content.

"eHEM. We still have class people," hunter comes out of his hiding spot, scaring the both of you. "R-right." Seeun clears his throat before walking behind hunter, his hands slowly interwining with yours as he gives you a lovesick smile. "We'll talk about this later, okay?" He whispers to you, his eyes lighting up as you nod.

"Okay." You reply before blushing furiously when seeun presses a kiss to your forehead.

"GUYS!!"

#yuvie events!#yuvie valentine's!#xikers #xikers fluff #xikers drabbles #xikers imagines #xikers fanfic #xikers fanfiction #xikers au #xikers scenarios #xikers soft hours #xikers soft thoughts #xikers x reader #seeun xikers #xikers seeun #seeun x reader #park seeun #seeun #xikers seeun x reader

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lyss-sketchbox · 23 days

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(To start, I've been enjoying reading your and folks' various perspectives on Natlan, it's interesting to see different breakdowns/thoughts)

I do have a theory on the flippancy though, and I may very well be horribly wrong, but I suspect it's intentional. The whole nation is being taught, more or less, that this war they're fighting is a game. It's fine if you die, we'll bring you back. It's fine if you fight the Abyss, we do it all the time. And yet. We see that folks' Ancient Names can be lost and not recovered, that you can't fully recover from Abyssal corrosion, and that hey, actually, Kachina is a terrified kid when we see that projection of her. It may even be part of why the nation is struggling so much with creating their Contending Fire. I also think Mavuika plays into this narrative.

Primarily, I think (or maybe just hope) her overconfidence is going to be her hubris. Traveller expresses concern about the time she has to gather the warriors and she's non-plussed, "eh, I trust the Wyob". She's got A Plan and it's going to work, according to her. But I dunno about that ma'am. She also says weirdly definitive statements that I don't think are fully accurate like "humans can't know their fate" and "the only thing that unites the Fatui are collecting the gnoses" that lead me to believe she puts full stock in her conclusions as soon as she feels she has an answer and doesn't exactly question any further.

Honestly? It would be nice if they set up this whole thing of the nation being so casual and Traveler buying into it only to tear it, crashing down, around everyone. How long can the nation avoid taking things seriously before everything comes to a head? (Perhaps why Capitano isn't interested in brute-forcing things overall? Or maybe I'm giving him too much credit, lol)

What an interesting take, genuinely

So Mavuika

It would definitely play the part of being a pyro archon and how pyro vision holders are often extremely confident and high spirited. It would make sense if the pyro archon embodies that kind of value.

This also lines up with what the previous anon said about how she wanted to be reincarnated because its HER plan and she wanted to see it through even if it means offing herself early.

(I dont remember the ending dialogue was i did it all at like 4 am so yeah please fight me on my takes)

She also seems very quick to make MASSIVE decisions like using a good chunk of her power to keep the Contending Flame alive right then and there even with the concerns of some people. Then she was just as quick to burn all the mementos gathered for centuries when the group sent to find Kachina didnt make it.

I feel like maybe she couldve waited before keeping the Contending Flame alive. And while the Contending Flame IS more importang than a single girl, based on the time we spent in the Night Kingdom. It doesnt... feel all that long. She couldve waited. Use her power to save us. Rest for a while then fan the Contending Flame. Saving us from the Night Kingdom didnt feel like a permanent loss of power while keeping the Contending Flame alive does.

To be honest, she IS human, WAS human before archonhood. Shes been human TWICE now due to her reincarnation. I can understand humans wanting to prove to higher powers and beings such as fate that they CAN hold power over themselves. But being human, being NATLANIAN means she has worshipped to Wayob as well at some point. Hence putting her faith more into them and their ancient names.

The Plot of Natlan

I will admit here that i am biased and there is only 2 acts so far. For all i know theyre still setting up the chekovs guns and they may pop oh so beautifully in late acts and i am too harsh on the set up acts.

But i can understand if the people of natlan has been trained their entire life to numb themselves of the true horrors of war. Because they live constantly in it, if they are in constant fear, it is not good for morales or the ancient name holders either.

And if they were written to be so chill so that hoyoverse can pull the rug under us even harder then well good on them because i will be COMPLETELY honest.

I cannot see them pulling this without making it cliche or shallow.

Because we all already know SOMETHING is gonna go wrong. The abyss will reach natlan. The contending flame will die. The 6 heroes will reawaken and help Mavuika fight off the abyss for good. We know it will happen. The only issue is how to get there and how to not make it cliche as fuck.

Because for one they pulled the anime training montage for Kachina where we get told she is actually really good, she has been training so hard with Mualani but we literally dont get to see or feel it. But oop she defeated mualani.

They pulled the power of friendship when Mualani talked back to lector in the night kingdom.

They already spoiled how Ororon was the traitor because HE WAS STANDING NEXT TO CAPITANO IN THE TRAILER.

It feels way too messy for me, way too unserious and uncoordinated both in game and advertisement materials. I almost feel like capitano, 1st of the fatui harbinger, probably shouldnt have been responsible for natlan because dude can out espionage them (or maybe natlan and capitano are both as equally uncoordinated who knows).

Well for NOW i think they have a generic base plot. I would be very willing to declare how wrong i was about natlan if act 3-5 managed to fucking mindblow me. But yeah as you can see i am not hopeful that hyv have half the brain you have about the plot.

#Hoyo proof me wrong and ill happily admit defeat #i know i am being cynical #but i can admit when im wrong or jumping to conclusions #lyssten to my rambles #genshin spoilers #spoilers

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puhpandas · 11 months

Text

Decennial

(2,396 words)

Evan and Gregory, now age twenty-two, celebrate the tenth anniversary of their meeting in the comfort of their shared apartment.

Its already the afternoon when Evan meets Gregory at the couch in their shared apartment, smartphone in hand. Gregory glances up from whatever he was watching on TV, quickly grabbing the remote to pause the channel.

He doesn't even have a chance to greet him before he notices Evan's face. Worry quickly creases his brows, and he moves to get off of the couch. "Evan? Hey, what's wron--"

Evan tries to convey that everything's fine with no words. Because it's true. He just can't muster any up right now. When Gregory seems to understand enough, that's when Evan thrusts his phone into Gregory's line of sight.

Gregory shifts on the couch, taking the phone and studying the screen to no avail. Hes pulled up the calendar on his phone, the date reading March 4th, 2045. Gregorys brows furrow, then, "Uh. I dont understand."

Evan would have rolled his eyes if he weren't so emotional right now. He scoffs, tapping the screen and mumbling "The date. Look at the date."

It only takes another moment for Gregory to understand. Evan can almost see the gears turning in his friends head in the moments before he gasps sharply. "Oh!"

Gregory doesn't look away immediately, just taking it in as if it surpises him. "Its ten years since we met today."

Evan nods at that. A small smile stretching on his face when Gregory finally turns to look at him.

But he should know by now -really, it's been ten years after all- that Gregory knows him. Probably better than Evan himself.

"What's with that look?" Gregory questions, seemingly noticing how Evans smile doesnt quite reach his eyes. "You look sad."

Evan shakes his head immediately. "No-- that's not it." He replies, feeling a bit more fit to speak. "Its just..."

"Ten years?" Gregory prompts, and Evan nods. Gregory seems to get it. He sighs a bit, and Evan can tell hes not alone in reminiscing. "Jeez. Thats..."

"...A long time ago." "A big number." They say at the same time.

Evan joins Gregory on the couch, taking his phone back. Ten years. Ten years since he met Gregory. Ten years since Evan had been that little ball of anxiety. Ten years since the best thing that ever happened to him.

Nine years since their first holidays together. Eight years since they started high school. Four since they graduated. Three since they started college.

One year since they got their first apartment together.

Evan chuckles all of the sudden, loud as a jet engine in the seemingly silent room. "Do you remember what we always wanted to do as kids?"

Gregory only has to think for a moment. "You mean what we made a reality?"

"Yeah." Evan replies. "We got that apartment. Not exactly the college dorm we imagined, though."

"Psh. Are you kidding? Our apartment is way better than any dorm we could have gotten." Gregory scoffs. "We would have like. One room to our name, and we would have to share."

Its Evan's turn to scoff, this time. He smiles, the memories coming back easily. "You're acting like we didnt basically share your room when we were thirteen."

"You were always there." Gregory agrees, but Evan knows by now that Gregory doesn't mean it in a bad way. Never. That's one of the things that have changed since they met. Evan doesnt assume the worst first, and ask questions later anymore. "You got that right."

"Thank god we had Vanessa to tell us what to do." Evan says. "We would be lost without her."

Gregory snorts, shuffling on the couch. Evan glances over, and strangely, being here, in this moment, even though its nothing differnet from what he and Gregory do every day, reminds him so much of when he and Gregory would just hang out together on his bed. Drawing, watching videos, talking and laughing... all of it.

"Its a good thing she told us to get an apartment while we still could." Gregory says. "We would have burned down the entire dorm."

Evan giggles at the thought. It wouldn't be the first time he and Gregory would make a mess in the kitchen. He still remembers how scared he was as a fourteen year old, when he had burned some of the food meant for Vanessa's 'Welcome Home' dinner Gregory insisted they make. The Fazbears house had stunk of char and smoke for days afterwards.

He was terrified at the time. If he had ever done anything like that at his old house...

He shakes that thought away. He does that often. Thinking back to his time alone with his father and brother. His biological ones. It's been a challenge, shutting down his brain when it tries to recall the memories.

Its another thing that's changed. As a kid, he knew nothing about helping himself and his anxiety. He didnt want to. He never saw himself as worthy of deserving relief, and it was so subconscious, little Evan never even realized it.

Now, it couldn't be more different. Hes never been healthier.

Who knew all it took was a best friend for life?

He looks over at Gregory. Who's still recounting some of their old childhood memories. Evan doesnt talk to Michael anymore. The damage he caused is too much to ignore. Evan... Evan doesnt want to see him anymore. Despite Michaels wake up call, it had been all too late. The damage had been done.

Michael missed his chance. Evan had decided that a long time ago. Maybe he should have had his change if heart earlier if he didnt want Evan to find the brother he always wanted in someone else.

Because that's what Gregory is. Its nothing new, they were having these revelations when they were only teenagers. Probably even earlier for Evan. But Evan never stops thinking about how much Gregory truly is his family.

That suprise and shock of the kindness hed received from Gregory from little Evan ten years ago is hard to shake when all hed been taught his whole life is how to hate himself. How he deserved to be treated badly, because if he hadn't been the way he was, he could have made himself worthy. A respectable man. Tough. An immovable rock. Real men dont show their emotions, or even experience them. Real men can defend themselves. Real men start to toughen up at the ripe age of twelve.

Evan is twenty two, now. So is Gregory. This life they'd built for themselves, with such a bright future... little Evan never would have even dreamed of. Little Evan had thought there was nothing there for him. Little Evan had thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel. That he had been doomed from the start. That his nature nipped his figure at the bud before it could begin.

This life theyve built for themselves. When Evan had ran to the Fazbears as soon as he'd turned eighteen with only a bag of clothes, a binder full of drawings, and yellow bear to his name. When he'd shared the room that felt like his own as well growing up with Gregory. When they'd spent those few months together until getting into the same college and choosing an apartment.

This life theyve built for themselves. That Evan would have only seen as a fantasy when he was eleven.

Theyve changed so much. It always shocks Evan every time he sees an old photo, or really remembers what it had been like pre-Gregory. Evan is growing out his hair, now. Before, all hed ever had was a months overgrown generic slickback. But he gets to choose now. Like how he paints his nails. Gregory has never really cared about his appearance, but he saw a photo of his Dad as a college student and immediately went to go replicate the blue streaks in his hair when it was time for himself to go off to college.

Evan almost laughs sometimes when he thinks about how much Gregory really is just an older version of who he was when he was twelve. He's different, like Evan is, but he's the same as well. A constant.

He knows hes the same, as well. Just with longer hair, bolder clothes, and the power of experimentation. Gregory has never been one to care much about his clothes, but to Evan, its everything. To be able to wear what he always wanted as a kid. To not be confined to whatever annual clothes his Father would buy him from the back to school section. Its freeing.

It's in that moment that he thinks back, really thinks back to his life pre-Gregory, and the contrast of the before and after.

It's all too much, in that moment. The memories and the sentiments and the nostalgia. In true Evan fashion, he cries about it.

Gregory has long since learned how to differentiate Evan's tears between his emotionality and a genuine issue. So when Evan begins wiping silent tears away, he just smiles one of those smiles he does, and pats him on the shoulder, pulling him in for a side hug.

Its digging a hole in Evan's chest, this feeling. It's not bad. But it's not exactly good either. It's some kind of a loss, but a hope as well. Remembering how much he loved back then. As much as he loves right now.

"I--" Evan stutters, sniffling. Gregory hands him one of the many boxes of tissues they always have on hand in their apartment. "It... It feels like we need to celebrate, somehow. I mean... ten years is big."

Evans mind floats to a cake. Or a two person party. Or a collaborated drawing. Evan's mind floats to many things. Many options. Ten years is big, right? Something that big needs a big party. Something big to commemorate it.

But Gregory just hums, and lays eyes on the thick shelf of DVDs they have tucked by the wall right by their TV. "How about a movie night?"

Evan's about to interrupt, say something about the milestone, but Gregory continues. "Do you remember all our favorites as a kid?"

Evan stops himself short, almost scoffing, because of couse he does. How could he not, when he and Gregory had stayed up so many times to watch them together, alongside stifled giggles and ice cream straight out of the carton? "Of course I do."

Gregory gets off the couch, crouching by the bookshelf and picking out a select few movies. Evan catches the titles on the packaging from all the way were hes sitting. Every single one of them is special to him.

Gregory deposits the movies on their coffee table, three DVDs spilling out onto the glass surface. "Then I can't think of a better way to spend the night."

Despite Evan's attempts, he cant either. Despite watching these movies almost regularly with Gregory even now, opening the casing feels different in this moment. It feels special. Evan feels like hes thirteen again.

Before starting their marathon, they make a huge bowl of popcorn, pouring caramel on it just how they liked it as kids. As they continue to now. Evan gets the carton of ice cream out of the fridge, handing Gregory his spoon and taking his own.

All they need is a throw blanket and they're ready. It's the exact setup they've done for years. Starting ten years ago today. This tradition has lasted this long, and it will outlive the milestone.

It feels so familiar, Evan cant stop thinking. His emotions are dialed up to eleven tonight. It only increases when the sky darkens outside their windows. He remembers coming home from school with Gregory and just. Immediately piling onto his bed with snacks and pillows and turning the lights off before they'd dive into another movie. Only going to bed when Freddy forced them to.

Because that's what it was. Thats what it still is. Home. All Evan feels right now is home.

They laugh at all the same parts. They cry as well. They cheer. They point out the same things. Nothing has changed.

Sure, ten years is big. But Evan can't think of a better way of spending the anniversary than continuing to do what hes loved to do with Gregory throughout the years. This doesnt mark the end of an era, or a big change. It marks how long hes had the gift of his brother. His family. His real family. The fifteenth mark will, as well. So will the twentieth.

All the tenth mark says is hes had ten years worth of joy and growth. and He'll continue to do just that.

After the third movie, Evan takes a quick look at his phone. The numbers 12:03 look back at him from his lockscreen, a picture of him and Gregory. The date has switched to the 5th.

"You're my brother." Evan says suddenly to Gregory at the beginning of the fourth movie. Gregory pauses in stuffing his face with popcorn to look over at Evan's earnest face. "You know that?"

Gregory chuckles wetly. It seems Evan isn't alone in the sentimentality tonight. "Only since we were preteens."

Gregory pulls him into that same side hug he always does. "You're my family." Gregory tells him sincerely. "You always will be, too. Hell would freeze over before our family would ever say you aren't one of theirs."

Evan chuckles, eyes misty, because he knows its true. He can imagine his family's reactions so vividly. "I know."

They only sink further into the hug after that, the movie continuing on. Theyve long since stopped with the thank yous. Not since they got it through Evan's thick skull that they arent doing him a favor. They just love him.

It's in that moment that Evan realizes that tomorrow is another day. And there are more after that and after that. Theres more milestones to reach, more years to spend with his brother and their family, and he cant wait to experience them.

But right now, he's content continuing a ten year long tradition as a mundane celebration for a non-mundane achievement.

It's not mundane to him at all, anyway. It means the world to him.

Besides, he can't imagine a world where his family doesn't throw a suprise party for him when he and Gregory visit them tomorrow.

ao3 link

#after writing so much about how gregory affects evan in the present i wanted to do something different.#especially since this is the 10th work in the series!#so this fic takes place in the future. in my little universe gregory and evan continue to live together for a very very long time.#i imagine after so long of in their heads adopting evan #and also gregory and evans mutual feelings of being family and eachothers siblings they would just.#not beat around the bush any longer. i think everyone knew in their minds #but when evan hightailed it to the fazbears when he turned 18 they all actually sat down and were like #okay so we agree that evan is ours now.#anyway their lives continue to be good and they have eachother and experience life with one another.#they feel emotional in this fic over it being a decade since they met but there are no hard feelings over their current life.#just reminiscing over their childhoods :) especially since its so special to evan specifically as a turning point in his life #he feels more intensely over it #i wanted to write somethinf different with them and here we are #i make myself emotional over my own incredibly specific au #pandas writes #flashlight duo #flashlight duo modern au #flashlight duo oneshots #gregory and evan #this is classified as the future with them being kids as the present in the universe btw #oneshot #nostalgia #the fazbears #fnaf gregory #evan afton #au

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im-just-a-bug · 3 months

Text

Im still hyped over In Stars and Time, it was a fantastic game, but i cant stop thinking about how the Good Ending... kind of wasnt a good ending.

Spoilers below

At first glance, you got your happy end. Siffrin survived the loops, he finally talked to his friends and they all agreed to stay together a bit longer. The world is free from the King and everyone has unfrozen, everyone reunited, everything is okay again.

But Loop is gone. Siffrin, the original actual Siffrin, lost everything. There was no reunion, no happy end. There is no end where Loop gets their life back, where Siffrin gets their life back. The island is still lost. Their family is lost, the girl in Dormont still cant remember her sister. Siffrin still cant say its name.

There are so many things left, so many unresolved points, and I love that! I really like that everything wasnt neatly fixed because in life thats not how that works. But i do wish some things were a bit more explained.

Im still unclear what exactly Sif is. Loops journals make it sound like Sif is a construct made from wishcraft, a copy of himself. But in their battle dialogue they make it sound like they were shoved in an alternate reality, but if that were true why would their room in the house still exist? I still dont know.

So its a happy end, except it isnt. You have this character of Siffrin that youve spent hours sympathizing with, and in the end they get what they want and you're happy for them. And then you learn theyre not the first, the original. And youre faced with the realization that this Siffrin is the same character as Loop. It is very strange, this being happy and sad for the same, different person simultaneously. Sif won! Except he didnt. He got so desperate and lonely that he made a version of himself to beg for help, and then had their entire life stolen. Hed already lost his home, their language, their entire life. And then they lose their body, their identity, their friends. The more days that pass, the more i understand why Loop was so angry. As much as i love Siffrin, i think Loop deserved to win that fight.

#my thoughts #in stars and time spoilers #in stars and time

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xuanzangg · 1 year

Text

you havent been the same since Geto Suguru left.

you fell into a deep spiral of mixed emotions along with depression. you had locked yourself in for months, ocassionally going outside to take a bath or ask Satoru if they have news about Suguru.

you became the exact opposite of you. you lost your spark, your smile, your brightness, your tenderness, the caring and gentle nature of yours.

it all took one person to burn you out, to bring you down, to make you go through emotions after emotions.

skinny arms, skinny legs, skinny stomach, skinny face and the bags under your eyes tells everything. you havent been doing well.

Shoko and Satoru are worried, Yaga-sensei is worried. Mei-san and Utahime-san are also worried. they cant help you and you wont let them help you.

"i need to take a bath.." you thought to yourself. and you did. you went out of your room, went to the bathroom and took a bath.

you also decided to clean your room, it was full of junks and trash. it smells filthy. as you worked your way through the cleaning, you found a photo of you and Suguru. it was you, holding a cake with the "16" number on it. "oh.. this was when i turned 16.. back in 1st year.." you thought. and he was there beside you, looking at you with those eyes.. those eyes that always, always looked out for you, so tender and gentle look, back when he was still here.

you couldnt help it as tears began to drop from your eyes, remembering the past. you're turning 17 soon and Suguru's not here, he's not here to celebrate it with you. you held the photo to your chest, holding onto it's memories dearly.

it's the year 2016 and you're now doing well than before. now teaching in Jujutsu Tech. you remember how much Suguru wanted to be a teacher.. so you made his dream come true.

but everything changed when Gojo Satoru took in a young boy. a first year named Okkotsu Yuta.

Suguru knew about Yuta and his curse. you know he wanted to take Yuta's curse as his. that's why.. Geto Suguru showed up in Jujutsu Tech one day, declaring a war.

"..how dumb of you, Geto." Geto.. hah, you're not used to it..

"oh my, if it isnt my dearest.. please, do call me using my first name." he coo, wrapping his other arm around your shoulders. you let him be. you didnt mind it.

"it's ridiculous, Suguru." "is it now? i dont think so."

you didnt reply. you looked into his eyes. those eyes.. he still looks at you the same way he used to, years ago. a frown formed on your forehead, "you're dumb. do whatever you want, Satoru will surely deal with you." you removed his arms around your shoulder, you didnt want to be held by him for too long because you know.. right here, right now, if he held you a little more longer, you would go with him. you'd go with him and betray everyone just to be with him again. but you didnt. you tried to control yourself.

but well, time sure flies fast. it's the night of the war, december 24th. shinjuku, tokyo. but it wasnt long when every curse were defeated. Satoru made his way back to the school's grounds, sensing something wrong.

there he was, Geto Satoru figthing Okkkotsu Yuta. clearly, he's going to lose against Yuta. you know he's going to die.

and he did. he lost but didnt die. well, not for long. you saw Satoru and Suguru talking, Suguru has lost his other arm and bleeding. you hurried to him immediately, trying to heal him with your reversed healing technique but, "dont." he stopped you. you wanted to punch him.. ask him why but you couldnt, so you stopped immediately.

"im sorry for leaving you all alone.. i didnt wanna burden you from my thoughts and.. you know, bullshits.." you cant help but cry at his statement. him? a burden? he was never a burden! "you'll never be a burden to me.m you dummy.." you couldnt help but cry, you kneel beside him and hold onto his other arm, begging him to let you heal him but he wont say only kept refusing it.

"satoru.. please let me heal him.." "no, you cant do that, i cant let you do that.." "please..! satoru please..!" you were desperate to heal him but the two of them kept telling you no.

"im sorry.." Suguru whispered to you, his forehead touching yours as his other hand caress your cheek gently.

"i love you, im sorry.."

"atleast curse me a little at the very end.." were Suguru's last words before Satoru finally ends him, along with something thar Satoru whispered as Suguru died.

you held Suguru's body close to yours, it's cold, the warmth he used to have is no longer there, Suguru is no longer there.

yahallo~ it's been so long since i posted a fic here. i've missed the feeling of it. anyways, i've gotten into the jjk fandom and i grew attached to suguru. but well, all i can say is that i love him and he deserves a second chance and fuck you kenjaku.

#jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #getou suguru #gojo satoru #jjk geto #jjk spoilers #geto suguru x reader #jjk suguru #jjk satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen geto

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i-politely-disagree · 6 months

Text

Sprace- Don't forget it

Canon era

(I dont like this one too much)

Race didn’t know where he stood with Spot. If being everything to someone only when their door locked was a recognised relationship status then he would be slightly more fine, almost passing as stable. Spot barely ever raised an eyebrow or even looked at him in public. He would never do anything more than vague eye contact inside the Brooklyn lodging house on the rare occasion Race had an excuse to stay. But as soon his bedroom door clicked shut and his not-quite-lover climbed through his window from the fire escape, Spot became the man Race had fallen into… something with.

Maybe love, maybe disaster, maybe both.

Race couldn't exactly tell. All he could tell was that he was going to have to get his papers in Brooklyn tomorrow because it was way too late to walk three or so hours just to come back again. Plus, Manhattan meant organizing a bunch of small kids who shouldn’t be on the streets and Race would’ve far preferred tired kisses and warm embraces, even if he had to forget about them the minute he walked out of Spot's room.

Everything was going to plan. That is until Race tried to get sleep. The room was painfully still but his mind became a tempest of whirling thoughts, images and words he didn’t even know he knew and he couldn't take lying around in silence any longer.

“What is it?” Spot groaned, half opening his eyes as he felt the boy next to him sit up

“Go back to sleep… Spot.” Race’s fingers carded through Spot's hair as he whispered, “I can’t imagine calling you one of those sappy pet names. Sorry.”

He laughed softly because it was true. He didn’t see Spot in any other name but his own. It was weird to be ignored by someone and then call them ‘Honey’ almost every other night. Maybe one day when they were comfortable and legal in whatever they had. Race thought about it a lot; being able to hold hands in public, go on proper dates, talk about each other openly or have even the possibility of a future. But for now, it was a waiting game.

They stayed in silence for a bit until Spot spoke

“You can call me anything. As soon as I walk out that door, neither of us is allowed to remember.”

He wanted to remember but he also knew he couldn’t. He was so full of emotions surrounding Race that he didn’t know what to do with himself, so he only faced them part-time. He knew it wasn’t healthy, but any commitment felt like an enticing trap.

“Nicknames are kind of weird though,” Race began. Spot sighed, watching him speak, too tired to be annoyed.

“Think about it. The term ‘baby’? Isn't it weird to just call your lover a child?”

“Race go t-”

“And sweetheart? Low-key cannibal-like.”

They sat with a slightly disturbed air between them. Spot showing a rare, exasperated smile in the dark

“Sweetheart, It’s gonna get cannibal-like if you don't go the fuck to sleep.”

It was gonna take a drug far more sedating than slight affection to get Race to rest but, he lay down. Spot’s eyes were a deep, stark contrast to the rest of his face at this time of night, Race noticed. His gaze lingered longer than he intended, just now processing what people meant when they said ‘the eyes are the window to the soul’, even in the dark, lost in the strangely intimate act of staring.

“You called me sweetheart.” Race said it as almost an accusation, more accusing himself for not picking that up sooner

“That I did,” Spot laughed “And that’s yours to forget.”

Race scoffed, “Yeah, don't remember I love you.”

They'd never said it before. The words were too heavy for people who couldn’t even touch when a door was open.

“Racer-”

“Don't. We both know we can't keep this up.”

He's reached for Spot's hand under the thin blanket

“Can this please just be something real? I don’t mean acting like it’s legal, cause, yeah, it’s not. But no one’s gonna lock you up for admitting maybe you can stand me.”

“It’s just- It’s risky” Spot softly rubbed Race’s hand with his thumb. He laughed dryly in return, snatching his hand away,

“I pickpocket and cheat rich guys out of money on the regular. I’ve seen you steal, soak plenty of people and may I remind you we went on strike to take one of the biggest steps in ending child labor this city has seen in a while. Is that not risky?”

Watching Race turn to face away, Spot let his words sink in. He knew it was kind of ridiculous to act like he barely knew one of the most important people in his life. He knew he could easily fake a friendship, like Jack Kelly and New Kid, but being around Race meant drowning in things he wasn’t comfortable feeling 24/7.

‘Don't remember I love you.”

That was really how he faced it. A whole relationship built on what felt like no-strings-attached hookups minus the sex. Something had to change. And Spot knew that change had to come from him.

He Breathed in.

Out.

“I’ll take that risk.”

Race almost turned as Spot’s fingers brushed over his shoulder, but stopped himself.

“You won’t forget it?”

Spot had to disregard all the ‘sense’ his mind tried to talk into him, but letting go of fear disguised as reason was the only way any of this could continue.

“Don’t forget I love you.”

#sprace #newsies #spot x race #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #newsies fanfiction #newsies broadway #my fic #cringe

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vesora · 2 years

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reminding you of your true power - manifestation

do you feel alone? are you going through hard circumstances and you feel bad because growing up, all anyone ever said to you was completely negative?

this sounds like an ad to a dodgy scheme but its not

i am here to tell you anything that anyone ever said to you, no matter who it is, it could have been beyonce (i bring her up a lot) but it aint real

because how can anything negative be associated with GOD? you are god. that doesnt make you delusional or egotistical because growing up im sure we all associated god with this being outside of us who is better than us and yada yada

i do believe in god still, meaning source, but i believe that god/source gave us all His abilities. we are able to create as well as He can.

so, how can you sit here and tell me that you dont deserve anything good?

“If your conception of yourself is less than that which you claim as true of God, you have robbed God” (i think neville said this im not sure)

now tell me what you would associate god with? for me it is:

pure unconditional love, the almighty creator, limitlessness, pure forgiveness

you already have all this within you but “your refusal to believe this is the only reason you do not see it” (-neville)

you do not have to BECOME limitless, or BECOME a master manifestor because you already ARE everything you desire

but sora why cant i see proof of this?

if you are just starting out, lack in persisting or you have had hard circumstances and fail to believe that you truly are the one and only creator, you might have to persist even more and fully embody yourself as that which you seek to be

but sora this all sounds too good to be true

we live in an epoch right now where there is a martian impulse situated from the time of jesus christ meaning that earth right now is dominated with the need to work hard, to compete, to fight because what is mars associated with? war, aggression, heavy masculinity

humans used to live in an epoch - lemuria / kinda atlantis until they lost their shit and became overly concerned with technology like how we are rn - where it was extremely natural to manifest. telepathy, levitation, full control of one’s body was completely normal because it is a human’s TRUE nature to be in line with divine consciousness meaning to be less dense (less concerned with the physical world)

this power hasnt left us, if it sounds too good to be true as it once did for me, it means that you havent completely let go of the conditioning that society put in you because why would the elite want you to realise your true power?

but i am telling you right now that you are powerful. idk if u r a small town girl from ohio named betsy, u r POWERFUL because you are made of the same consciousness that god is made of.

now i had made this post initially to offer support for people going through bad things so ill go back to that rn

you are not alone. this blogger named vesora (shes pretty cool) is here for you. we do not need to know each others names, faces or livelihoods, just simply the fact that you are aware of my existence and i of yours (yes i check my notes and manifest the best for everyone), we are set and bonded. for humans share a special connection that others cant replicate.

i love you, if you havent heard it in a while or if you wanna hear it again. i love you and i love how you are trying even if things are hard but remember success is guaranteed for that is the gift given to you as soon as you were born. i see you, i dont care if you feel unseen, unloved, unworthy; i see you, i love you, i know you are worthy. and since all humans are one - one consciousness - u love urself too. just accept you do. ପ(๑ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ଓ

yes u can be like tanjiro too

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badlydrawndoc-scratch · 10 months

Text

don't really have time or energy to draw this right now so. you're getting it in writing instead

It's not your birthday. At best, you would call it a day that someone who was you once was familiar with.

One that he didn't like either. Sure, you'd pretend to be him for a bit, accept some birthday wishes for him. But it wasn't your birthday. Not to you, at least. You think they all understand, to a point. Dirk does, at least.

That was why you weren't prepared to humour this conversation.

TG: this is hal isnt it

TG: not mad jst

TG: how do i say this?

TT: It seems there's a fairly large chance you're accusing me of not being myself, based off of a totally bullshit statistic.

TT: Care to elaborate?

TG: if u want me to tell u happy birthday 2 i can lmao

TG: dont hafta be weird about impersonatin dirk for that!!!

TT: I...

TT: Sorry. Holdon.

TT: There we go.

TT: As I was about to say, it's not technically my birthday. It's Dirk's. I wasn't even created today.

TT: I'll relay your well-wishes to him whenever he returns. Don't need to ask me about it.

TG: hmm nah i think i like havin' a hold of u for this

TG: if ur like

TG: not REALLY him

TG: but have his memories and shit

TG: todays ur day too

TG: so happy b-day! im not takin' that back either!

TT: ...

TT: I should go.

TT: Dirk probably won't like me monopolizing his account, even if he isn't here.

TT: Thanks, I guess.

You log off without another word, back in your sort-of space. Maybe you'll check in with Jane in a bit. Maybe you'll go through the internet for no apparent reason.

You can't say that that made you feel human. Or that it made you feel better, but... it made you think. It made you feel something. That was a start, right?

---

A firm series of slaps to the back of the cue-ball/head drags you out of your reverie. It's Itchy, hand poised to continue slapping you if you don't acknowledge him.

"Apologies. I must have became lost in thought," you begin, "as tends to happen with the omniscient. That said, there are better ways to get my attention."

Itchy shrugs and tells you he doesn't give a shit. He was just the fastest. The Felt needs you for somethin'. Somethin' he can't tell you about.

"Vague and somewhat sarcastic as always, Itchy. Just get to the point."

He just tells you you're no fun, before half dragging you out of one of your many studies. The whole manor is technically your study. But especially this one.

Itchy only bothers to take you about halfway, to where Crowbar is standing and waiting. He hardly says goodbye before dashing off to who-knows-where, probably to cause trouble somewhere else.

You pretend you don't know what's being hidden from you. You could figure out, and in the back of your mind you have figured out. But surprise is an emotion you like trying to fake.

Sometimes you wish you weren't faking it.

Crowbar walks up to you, with some off-handed comment about how he didn't expect Itchy to get you there on time. Or at all. He can never tell. Nonetheless, he's slightly more gentle when he offers you his hand, like he's not about to effectively drag you across an entire manor.

You don't remember the last time you've had actual contact with someone in a way that wasn't violent. You're not sure it's ever happened, honestly. (In reality, you know that isn't true. You were an indigoblood once, you recall. It's not as clear as the other memories, though.)

Crowbar's hand is felted, unsurprisingly, almost like a pool table. Again. Unsurprising. It's never surprising, but you commit the texture to memory anyway, all but ignoring what he's actually talking about. Something about a celebration.

He says they got the table stickball table fixed, and your attention is drawn again.

"Just call it a pool table."

He says he doesn't feel like it. It's a ball you hit with a stick on a table. Ain't a pool in sight. You agree, silently. The Alternian names for things were as foreign as they were ingrained; you knew them as much as you didn't know them.

Eventually, you're led into what you believe is the living room, and Crowbar lets go of your hand. You don't immediately adjust to the lack of feeling in your hand, almost like you were... severely touch-starved, actually, or something.

That's ridiculous, of course. You aren't technically alive, even if you're not as "soon to die" as you once were.

Someone, you think it could be Quarters, explains that all the Felt knows it isn't technically your birthday, and that it's only such by a few tangents. (You mentally add on that you weren't even created today).

But, Quarters adds, you've been stuck in a rut of sorts for a while. It wasn't really anyone's idea, he says. But it was agreed that it might get you feeling better for a while.

And, for once, you feel surprise. You never thought that they actually cared. Or even noticed. You're just their boss, of course. You're hardly even there.

(You have spent the past few months only leaving the Manor when you absolutely have to.)

You can't say it makes you feel alive. Or better, really. But it made you think. It made you feel something.

And, as you're dragged to play table stickball with Trace and Sawbuck, you decide that's a start.

#long post #scratch.txt #toying with this cueball man's brain #//#hehe #honestly i don't think i COULD have drawn this if i wanted to. so. here.

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navy-leader · 11 months

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Okay Is It just me or am I a little bit lost on how Victims gonna fulfill this whole. . .Revenge thing he has going on, like are we forgetting that these guys are legit just, PIXELS? Sentient AI, and Alan Is a living breathing human being, like how Is that gonna work, and they all know that Alan Is a human and not just a cursor we’ve seen It countless of times, like It Victim just gonna bomb his house with drones or some shit or hack his computer, like are you planing on killing him. . .??? WHAT??? LIKE PEOPLE AREN’T THINKING ABOUT THIS, LIKE ALANS IN THE REAL WORLD, How Is this gonna coordinate, like chances are Alan DOESNT even remember Victim exist, like that’s so embarrassing for him, like he Is as Irrelevant right now as a spec of dust, like I felt threatened at first but now. . .Uhm not so much, hoping we get some more world building because the lore runs deep, I wanna see how the real world would clash Into this universe, like Is Alan the only one who can create live sticks and hollow heads, are there laws regarding It, can only certain people do It, HOW IS ALAN NOT IN DEEP SHIT AS WE SPEAK BECAUSE ONE OF HIS CREATIONS ALMOST DESTROYED HALF OF THE INTERNET, LIKE THATS SOME SERIOUS STUFF AND HES JUST GOING OFF SCOTT FREE, DO PEOPLE KNOW STICKS EXIST, ALAN PLEASE WE NEED ANSWERS MAN YOUR KILLING US.

THAT IS TRUE. I ALSO DIDNT THINK THAT;;;; I always assumed the goal was to kill Alan but again,,,, How.

And god yes irrelevancy and being overlooked has always been a factor of victim's character, both in-universe AND real world, i feel its in the name,,, and names hold power in this world, hes meant to be nothing more than that;; UNTIL NOW I GUESS????

Also i dont think Alan is the only one who can create these kinds of stickmen? Because in the conversation he had with that programmer in AVA2 its implied that perhaps the hollowheads we see in the series arent the only superpowered stickmen out there,,, Alan/Noogai made the mistake of making Chosen THE CHOSEN ONE, but there Was a way to get rid of him, unless that way was exactly the way that Noogai did it, then,,

I made the speculation that Noogai was just a young curious kid on the internet, messing with things that are more dangerous than he thought, like accidentally downloading a virus from the internet (which Chosen technically is?), he wouldntve known this is whatd happen but god knows if anyone else has done it as well. And hell how would Chosen and Dark link back to Noogai? Its not like his name is on them or anything.

Okay imagine Victim isnt only going after Alan, maybe its going after people who Are Like Alan, maybe internet users in general, maybe Alan is only his FIRST target, a little revenge before he starts his Real siege

#asks #god this is such a good ask thank you #animation vs animator #id have more to say but i need a minute to stew on these thoughts #ava spoilers

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ijustsitinacorner · 7 months

Text

Each Black Butler Arc + Valerie Phantomhive

Warnings: Many Black Butler manga spoilers.

(From what I can best remember :’))

Pre-Black Butler Verse:

- Valerie was born in 1872

- Valerie was only 13 years old on the December 10th, 1885 incident.

- Being so busy with her enthusiastic and helping preparations that she had forgotten to get a gift for the twins. It led to her leaving the manor in secret and lost track of time in which when she returned; the manor was already in flames.

- Stayed with the Midford’s for the time being of the month O!Ciel was gone. She was absolutely depressed and devastated throughout that month.

- Was probably the only one that questioned what had happened to the spare. But knew Ciel would definitely not want to talk about or even go into details of what happened so she never asked.

- She assumed the worst had happened to the spare, Valerie loved both equally but was still grateful at least one survived.

General Black Butler Verse:

- Sebastian felt off to her, too good to be true vibe obviously.

- learned how to play the piano by Sebastian within the 3 years.

- Sebastian sometimes makes Ciel while in his violine lessons make the two duet together

(Totally did not think of Omori when I had this idea for Valerie).

- Valerie finding out Ciel named Finny “Finnian” it made her chuckle a bit.

Ciel: Is something funny?

Valerie: No…just the name you picked for our new servant is what I hadn’t expected.

Ciel: Why do I sense some judgment in the name I had picked out for him?

Valerie: Of course not. In fact, I find it sweet. Knowing you bestowed a name for a servant as unique as him after Fionn Cumhaill from Fenian Cycle. It was your favorite, you always read it over, and over again.

While Mey-Rin:

Sebastian: The sniper, is biologically female.

Valerie: …

Valerie: She’s hired.

Ciel: AFTER SHE JUST TRIED TO ASSASSINATE THE BOTH OF US?!

Valerie: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND CIEL WE DO NOT HAVE ANY MAIDS AND SHES PERFECT.

Sebastian: My lady does have a point; but hiring her immediately is not very wise…

Valerie: Then neither of you men understand.

Then, there was Bard:

- Valerie questions how the hell Sebastian managed to find an American man so quickly and how far a travel like that would have been.

Red Butler/Jack the Ripper Arc:

- Liked Charlotte at first but not Grell(e) causing such chaos and mistakes…

- Had to tolerate the mess.

Ciel: “Just why do I have to be your niece?!”

Madam Red: “Because dear, I’ve always wanted another girl!”

Ciel: “You’re kidding! Isn’t one enough?!”

Valerie: “Don’t you dare drag me into this!”

- Violence is never the answer; until someone inappropriately touches Lady Ciel.

- Sebastian had to reassure Valerie that the plan was going smoothly and to follow along.

- Valerie looked up to Madam Red, they both had a great relationship up till her death

- Dislikes the reapers.

Indian Butler Arc

- Someone as strong as Sebastian? That’s possible?

- Enjoys, and is grateful of Prince Soma’s company to Ciel. She believes that Ciel is in denial with their “friendship.”

Book of Circus Arc:

- Missing and brutally murdered women before, now missing children?! The hell is going on in the underworld?!

- Nothing seems too suspicious about this circus; just what are we supposed to look for?

- Valerie: there goes Sebastian putting on a show…say, can I also pet the tiger?

- Ciel: Are you insane?! Absolutely not!

- Valerie: I hate your allergy to cats sometimes Ciel..

- Stage name: ??? (Could not think of one for Valerie 😭)

- Yk that “WHAT?! THIS IS A MOMENT IN HISTORY. TAKE A PICTURE!” Audio?

- That’s how Valerie felt when Ciel was pressured into forcing a smile.

- Valerie: Pft- So… smile…?

- Ciel: Don’t. You. Dare.

- Sebastian chuckling and muffled laughter heard as Ciel struggles TERRIBLY on that tightrope while Valerie’s anxiety has never been so high.

- Freckle face is Doll?!

- But then again Ciel did cross dress in the past so it’s not as strange…

- BUT HER PROOF OF BEING A LADY WAS NOT NECESSARY.

- *The Phantomhive siblings reading a whole lot of information in just one piece of paper*

- Are they a bunch of stalkers?! What kind of obsessive lunatic does this type of behavior?!

- The event in which Vincent Phantomhive took the twins when they were 8 and met Kelvin; 11 year old Valerie felt a gut wrenching unease about him and never understood why.

- Until now.

- Massive disgust, Ciel kill him now.

- Valerie: Pass the pistol Ciel.

- Ciel: Wh-What…?

- Valerie: I SAID PASS THE PISTOL.

(Safe to say Baron Kelvin was not only shot once :3)

(Jk Ciel wanted to be the first to kill him so Valerie didn’t get the chance, but this is a nice imagine)

(Exciting the Kelvin manor: in flames as ordered by Ciel to burn everything).

- Valerie felt terrible towards Doll, but it did not excuse the fact they were kidnapping children and supporting their “father’s” disgusting obsession.

- Doll did attempt to attack first, so if anything…it’ll be reasonable to eliminate what’s left.

Book of Murder Arc

- Learned French has its perks

- The Queens knights? Why would they be over here?

(Don’t remember much from this arc :’))

- Oh? A new servant? His name is Snake?

Book of Atlantic Arc:

- Valerie really thought it was going to be a family holiday but then realized it was another investigation ordered by the queen she was disappointed.

- Valerie pulled Ciel’s ear and scolded him for being cruel and impatient with Lizzie after he forcefully he ripped a layer of Lizzie’s dress. Lizzie did reassure her that it was also her childishness that he had a right to be upset.

- To not make Elizabeth feel lonely with her cute act. Valerie made a promise to Elizabeth when they were children. Both agreeing to wearing low heeled shoes and appearing fragile and weak.

- When on the deck and after Lizzie was knocked out. Valerie and Ciel almost had an argument since Ciel insisted on staying on the ship but promised to return alive and well.

- She hugged him and let him go, telling him not to do anything stupid while she went on the life boat.

- Valerie has faith in Sebastian, he himself reassured her that Ciel will be protected.

Mini-Easter event:

- Stared at Lizzie in shock of her mischievous idea of putting her egg on the top of the damn chandelier

- “Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair…?”

- “No, of course not! I have faith in Ciel and I trust he will win and get my egg!”

(I don’t remember anything in this little event :’) except Charles Grey breaking the window for a dramatic entrance-).

Public School Arc:

- Hearing the idea of going to a pubic school undercover sounded exciting to Valerie until she realized she had to do something about her chest.

- Faking her voice with only few days of practice before heading to the actual school since she as well as going undercover

- Seeing Ciel act like a boy his age felt strange yet reassuring to Valerie

- Valerie: Don’t you believe you’re overworking Sebastian? He’s a professor and he can’t be doing your tasks-

- Ciel: Don’t worry; he’ll be fine

(When Soma pulled up on an elephant)

Valerie: Ciel isn’t that your friend?

Ciel: SHHHHHWHDHDH

(That one second time Ciel had committed arson)

Valerie: Well…would you look at that.

Valerie: You have skills in throwing a lantern through the violet wolf house window from this distance, but don’t have the skill for knife throwing?

Ciel: Darts and knife throwing are two different things, Valerie.

(During cricket idea and strategies)

- Valerie “Laxatives in the meat pies?! Wouldn’t that be-”

- Ciel: “Cheating? Yes. But do you have any other better ideas better than the A to Z?

- Valerie: “You mischievous and cunning yet clever boy…always somehow getting what you want.”

- Valerie: “He reminds me of father honestly.”

(Midnight Tea Party)

- Undertaker being the headmaster was NOT what I had expected…

Emerald Witch Arc:

- Learning German with Ciel was an interesting thing to imagine.

- Seeing him struggle to properly speak and understand Sullivan was amusing to her

(She knew damn well she shouldn’t be laughing because hers was also equally as bad).

- Sullivan grabbing Ciel by the…yk definitely shocked both siblings.

- Valerie questions what the hell these women have been teaching this girl.

- Had the most smug smile on her face seeing Ciel offer a hand to Sullivan and his offer of friendship, he’s finally making friends.

- During the Emerald Witch Arc when Ciel wasn’t really acting as his earl self; she was beside Finny and helping him take care of Ciel (she also cried because it had been so long since she had seen Ciel cry as well as seeing him in such a hurt state).

- When after hearing the idea of Ciel wearing Sullivan’s dress to trick the ladies in the plan of fleeing the village, she was covering her mouth and snickering the entire time.

- Women in tanks?! The hell did they get the war equipment from?!

- Valerie and Elizabeth had the times of their lives teaching Sullivan the ways of a lady.

(For those who remember; Ciel was also dragged into it).

- She secretly adored Sullivan, and was a bit taken back when she had cut her hair till chin length.

Blue Cult Arc:

(FROM WHAT I CAN REMEMBER 😞)

- When Valerie heard Ciel’s idea of creating the Phantomfive, has he officially gone insane?

- Withdrawal of blood plus a music group…putting two and two together it doesn’t sound as bad.

- EDWARD IS APART OF IT? WHAT TYPE OF BRIBERY DID CIEL HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM TOO?

- Oh when aunt Francis finds out she is pulling that boy by the ear for being improper…

- When Valerie found out about R!Ciel, of course she was in denial at first.

- Shamefully also lied Elizabeth’s whereabouts and was helping her actually.

- She didn’t exactly turn her back on O!Ciel instantly. As mentioned before she loved both of her younger brothers equally.

- If Valerie was given more time to critically think, more time to speak to O!Ciel and understand why he would do something like that.

- Maybe things would have been different.

Blue Memory Arc: (just some of Valerie’s memories rather than Ciel’s)

- Did get spanked by Rachel Phantomhive/her mother for sneaking into the kitchen and grabbing dessert for herself and the twins before dinner. Tanaka also probably scolded her.

- Valerie when she was younger always found her mother’s hair to be gorgeous. She didn’t like inheriting the current color from her father…

- “I COULD HAVE HAD MOTHER’S BLOND HAIR?!”

- Valerie was once that little girl that wanted to marry her father, in which when told that logically she could not, little Valerie refused to marry anyone else

- Was going to be in an engagement with Edward Midford but Lizzie and Ciel were already enough.

- her mother and aunt Anne were amazing role models too

- Despite Undertaker’s strange appearance and behavior; Valerie when she was a child wasn’t too frightened since he cares about all the Phantomhive’s and was friendly.

- When O!Ciel was diagnosed with asthma; he had to stay inside most of the time. In which Valerie was also inside due to lessons/tutoring.

- Was very much a victim of Elizabeth’s dress up games even when she was younger.

- Fencing with Lizzie when she was old enough was fun since Lizzie was just as much of a natural prodigy as Valerie. Making their levels equivalent and more of a fun experience.

- (Edward is terrified of both of those girls when together).

- Valerie whenever she could, would spend time with O!Ciel so he wouldn’t feel too lonely. O!Ciel would feel guilty because it would impact her schedule; but she said she would rather spend time with him than those “boring” lessons and tutoring.

(^ It was most likely chess they play, in which O!Ciel would win most of the time).

- Despite her aunt Francis being as equivalently strict with her, Edward, Elizabeth, and Ciel(‘s). It sometimes felt as if she was the strictest with her since she is the current Lady Phantomhive. Valerie is aware that her aunt was the previous Lady Phantomhive.

- Supported ??? idea of creating a toy company and found the idea to be adorable! But Ciel on the other hand didn’t take it very well…after some comforting from Valerie and their mother, the worries slightly went away.

- Daddy’s girl or Mama’s girl? Nuh uh she was both.

- O!Ciel and R!Ciel (when they were kids) when not clinging onto their mother or father, would cling onto their older sister.

- Days when mother, father, and Sirius were alive…it felt more lively…

- I was happy…yet…why am I not know after finding out something so major?

- Am I that terrible of an older sister?

Blue Revenge Arc:

ERROR…ERROR…