Tumgik
#but this is so dumb? how do u even come up with that
plumipal · 3 days
Note
AAAAAOMG UR TWST OC IS SO ADORABLE?? i'm absolutely in love with eden sm (+ his design?? the star eyes and the wings are my favorite,, i wanna smooch all his tattoos!) and i hope it's okay to ask a few questions about him... (I KNOW U SAID IT WAS OKAY BUT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE 😭 i'm genuinely interested in knowing more!)
1) does he have anyone in the twst cast that he tolerates/likes? i know he's part of the whole harem thing but is there anyone he doesn't necessarily mind being around (or even sharing with the prefect?)
2) do grim and eden have a good relationship? i would assume so since they're living both with one another but do they just get along with each other for the prefect's sake or are they actually best buds? (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)
(little dumb idea but i think it would be so cute if the prefect treated the two as if they were all like a little family! eden and prefect being the two parents and grim their rambunctious kid lmao,, i would imagine the others not being so happy about it (っ‘ω`c))
3) is he okay with physical affection/pda? is he totally chill about it or would he rather shy about the whole thing? is he open to having the prefect touch his wings or his tattoos?
4) oooo any funfacts that you have about the new ramshackle resident?? just in general really if that's okay with u ofc!! ☆
aa okay that's it!! i hope my questions weren't annoying or anything! (っ‘ω`c)
Had to get one of those wheels ive seen going around where you put the oc and how they feel about the character and how the characters feel back about them, but with a twist lol (most of them are haters).
Tumblr media
The ones he are most tolerant with are grim, ace, deuce, jack and kalim. Only one he could possible share with would either be kalim, jack or deuce, because of how he sorta is annoyed by ace.
Tumblr media
Of course cant forget how he feels about you :) he thinks you are very very very special and he loves you a lot <3
He likes grim a lot, seeing as grim isn't one of the students that is oh so annoying. He warms up to the monster, seeing how gently you take care of grim, wanting to do the same. It feels, domestic, in his opinion.
Tumblr media
Grim likes Eden a lot too, he has never belittled him, he has always made sure to feed grim along with Eden being very warm (and therefore very nice to sleep on). In grims opinion, he thinks you should go with Eden, cuz he is a good candidate for marriage (grim has been bribed with love, affection, and tuna).
Tumblr media
He takes good care of the cat son, making sure he is healthy and happy.
Now onto pda. Eden are only okay with you touching the wings, the tattoo and the core, being as they are quite sensitive. The scar is still off limits, but maybe if you make him warm up to you even more you might be able to-
He loves when you help him with his wings, it's one of the best feelings out there. Fo mind that only you (and grim) can touch the wings, anyone else is off limits, ESPECIALLY ROOK HE IS FORBIDDEN TO TOUCH THEM.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Eden facts!! He has lil "ear-holes" like birds, just behind the feathers. Be careful around that part when you help him with his feathers, otherwise you might have a pouty and angry Eden on tour hands.
Tumblr media
His eyes also glow in the dark! It's the scariest during the nightly snack runs down to the kitchen, seeing him suddenly stare at you, but you slowly get used to it!
Tumblr media
You don't know where the extra eyes sometimes come from tho...
Also some general facts about Eden!
Dorm: Ramshackle
Birthday: 1/1
Age: ???
Height: 185cm
Fav subject: alchemy
Hobby: cleaning in ramshackle, birdwatching
Likes: you
Dislikes: Loud noises, blond 3rd year hunters named rook hunt, people trying to grab onto his wings that aren't you
Fav food: he don't need to eat to gain sustenance, bur he likes mashed potatoes with gravy
Least fav food: soup, any soup, he hates it
Btw if anyone were to write for Eden I would explode it would mean the world to me
100 notes · View notes
skele-bunny · 2 days
Note
Flops into your ask box like a wet dog
May I please have pet play ghouls:((
-🐾(you know who I am)
Yes u may I'm feeding it to you like a cracker.......
Bunny!!! Phantom!!! And!!! Rain!!!!!
Rain doesn't like being a pet often as he enjoys having dominance, but sometimes will indulge. He and Phantom are both bunnies, and if they're pet mode with each other, they're definitely found cuddled. Swiss loooooves targeting them, and Rain gets SUPER huffy when the "dumb dog" comes over and tries riling them up. Phantom, though? He's neutral on it! He'll play if he's in the mood, or let himself be humped unlike Rain who grumbles about it. There was ONE time they were both in the pet mind and actively wanted Swiss, Rain linking him and Phantom's tail to present for Swiss who just about lost his mind cause his doggy brain didn't know where to start.
Puppy Aether!! RRAAAA!!! Dew isn't the pet a lot, as he really enjoys owning Aether. Nice jock strap and harness, a hood as well. Pretty mittens :3. Aether is SO willing to please and will happily do anything Dew asks. Trick? He can do that!! Fetch? Not a problem!! Fuck? His favorite activity after all! He'll sleep a lot, though, usually always at Dewdrop's feet and he's soooo huffy when he's woken up by a foot nudge. He's not really disciplined or trained past basic things, as Dew doesn't see the point at Aether is very compliant and listens well. The type of MF to pull Aether's leash and direct him to mount while Dew spreads his folds for him.
Also, puppy/fawn Mountain!! Rain is his handler. When he's puppy, a lot of human furniture is involved. Rain resting his feet on him, putting plates and cups on his back (yes, even hot), using him as a chair or cushion. EXTREMELY well behaved and trained. There's been times where he's made to voyeur Rain getting fucked and all he'll do is pant. Won't whine, won't yip, or be sad despite how red and leaking his cock is. Just watch. Because if he's good, he gets to be next! Has a custom made cage that's in Rain's room, and he sleeps in there even out of pet space sometimes. Now, Fawn? Sweetest thing ever. Rain isn't rough with fawn, let's him curl up and nuzzle at him before laying. Gets super shy and whiny, and doesn't have a lot of training as he's too nervous to get in trouble. Likes being hand fed!!! One time Rain jerked Fawn off in front of the others and surprised them by noises even he didn't know he could make :3
Also bc I want to:
Fox Phil!!!! DAMNIT. Loves stealing Alpha's stuff and hiding away with it. Has a little den-fort that he hides in and likes nipping ankles before giggling and running away. Gets nicknamed vixen a lot bc if he wants Alpha, oh he'll get him. Can't really be trained but picks up social cues enough to know if he needs to hide from punishment or if what he's doing is allowed. Loooves rubbing his cock against Alpha's leg and purring, or flashing his hole with the pretty plug in :3
Send tweet
31 notes · View notes
bookshelfdreams · 1 year
Text
"Izzy isn't a homophobe he just doesn't like cheaters" continues to remain the most bafflingly stupid ofmd take ppl in this godforsaken fandom have come up with
literally what show did y'all watch
11 notes · View notes
puppyeared · 3 months
Text
i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
86 notes · View notes
be-an-echo · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
from another mother...
the day when Tess and Maria got shitfaced
114 notes · View notes
pillowenvelopchair · 2 months
Text
HOW DO YOU WRITE NOKRON WHILE ROGIER'S ALIVE
19 notes · View notes
veestudiess · 3 months
Text
i was thinking about it and genuinely, what is yalls motivation to work hard
2 notes · View notes
dimiclaudeblaigan · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
i want ike to be in three houses
for science
#DCB RD Run#y'all know what i'm talking abt if u follow me lmao#ike rly does say all the most perfect shit but most ppl don't even get to see it these days#bc intsys won't make the games accessible and they cost hundreds of dollars for a used copy jfhsagjdg#BUT ALSO this line? REALLY fuckin wish they said to zelgius too with someone anyone even if it wasn't ike#would've been really awesome tho for it to be ike who said it so that zelgius couldn't uwu my teacher his way out of being a villain#what is it with them making ppl be like uwu my teacher and that suddenly make them not a villain fhajgdgsj#like WHERE WAS THIS LINE WHEN IN REBIRTH 2#we had tibarn with us! ranulf! shinon! oscar! SOMEONE could've said it!!!#hecky schemcky if OSCAR said it? that would be like DAMN u fucked UP tho#if OSCAR couldn't forgive you for something? d a m n sonny that one would cut d e e p#but also?! shinon! being calm about it! and just telling him outright! look! nah! you did all that shit! and now you want to uwu us to death#nah! what you did was unforgiveable and you kept doing unforgiveable things!#i mean come on there's a line out the door of ppl who wanted to get or deserved to get revenge on that guy#YES I HAD TO LET IT OUT AGAIN I'M STILL MAD THAT SEPH GOT THE WHOLE NO U DID BAD#BUT ZELGIUS DID ARGUABLY WORSE BC HE DIDN'T DO IT AFTER LOSING HIS ENTIRE FUCKING MIND#AND HAVING HIS ENTIRE FAMILY SLAIN AND HIS FOREST HOME BURNT TO DEATH#LIKE. COME ON. SEPH AT LEAST HAS A LEGIT REASON TO HAVE LOST HIS MIND BUT ZELG?#siiiiiiiiigh. anyway put ike in three houses so he can teach all the dumb stans how to be a proper mc#yeah that's right i said it A PROPER MC#blorbo is in the corner hiding bc he doesn't like these tags. see his bow? see it? it's poking into the pic#ALSO HOW COME REYSON DOESN'T GET ANY LINES WITH SEPH ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENED POST BATTLE#this post has gone in three entirely different directions in the tags good for me good for me
15 notes · View notes
ozlices · 9 months
Text
ok now that the rage is out, actual rational reason for why this pisses me off so much.
if my love & devotion to pandora hearts didn't make it clear enough, my favorite niche of media is alice in wonderland inspired works. if i know something is inspired by aiw, i'm gonna at least look into it automatically. dunno why, honestly. but, it's been like this since i was SUPER young.
that being said, im obviously p versed in alice in wonderland inspired media. i haven't consumed them all, i'm sure there's many i'm unaware of, but. i've consumed enough to confidently assure alice in borderland is the first time i personally have ever seen an alice in wonderland inspired media portray alice as a guy, while still having him be named alice.
and, like! it's honestly SUPER clever to get away with doing this by having alice be ryohei's last name instead of his first. because, obviously, 'alice' is not typically a male name. it can be bc gender is a concept yada yada, but. like. u get what i mean.
so, like. baring that in mind. if somebody who has absolutely zero concept of how japanese pronunciation works stumbled across alice in borderland, & watched w the english subtitles... they'd have no reason to question if 'arisu' is meant to be 'alice'. bc. why would it be? they're expecting 'alice' to be a female character.
& so, like. it honestly rly fucking sucks that this really interesting way of taking the alice in wonderland inspo & portraying its references as it does gets completely sacked & made out as pointless by having alice not be referred to AS alice.
& even more so bc additionally, the white rabbit is a woman in the show. so, we have these two prominent characters from alice in wonderland being swapped. but, like. that doesn't even get to be properly appreciated bc they don't let u know alice IS alice. it genuinely just comes across as 'huh, weird this show named alice in borderland, & that's v clearly inspired by alice in wonderland, has a MALE lead & his name is arisu. weird this aiw inspired media has no alice.'
tbh part of me wonders if that's why they decided to go w that decision. to blatantly erase how silently groundbreaking it is to have an alice in wonderland inspired work where alice is still named alice, but is a guy instead of a girl. the silent way that breaks down gender stereotypes and such. but, nope. that all gets lost.
fucking bullshit.
also yes ik im v stupidly passionate abt this, but again. aiw-inspired works is my FAVORITE niche genre of media ever. my favorite series of all time is literally an aiw-inspired work. ive never seen an aiw-inspired work do this. not saying no others exist, & if they do, pls lmk! but. yeah. it does suck the only example ik of doing this gets stomped by refusing to let alice be named alice.
#mine#i think tsukasa is the only other alice allusion character i can think of that's a guy.#but. like. he doesn't count against my point bc his name isn't alice.#& he's also meant to represent multiple aiw charas. not JUST alice.#so. yeah. this is the only media ik where alice is still named alice & gets to be a guy & they just do not let him stay alice#it's weird & feels lowkey v shitty. for the aforementioned dismantle of how silently groundbreaking that decision is#& how clever it is to get away w it by having it be his last name#esp since obviously. in japan u typically refer to someone as their last name until u know them well.#so. just. HNNNG. bothersome.#it doesnt actually keep me up at night but it does like. bother me. a lot.#idk how that decision even got approved w how much it actually fucks up the viewing experience of a completely#uneducated viewer when it comes to knowing anything abt how japanese words are pronounced but.#tbh the only explanation i can think of for it IS they just didnt want u to know he's alice. bc they're cowards. which is weird but.#idk. literally no other reason to do that. u can't even like. try to claim it's for accuracy sake.#bc it's. literally not accurate. if ur gonna translate the name of the series completely into english. the namesake chara should also#have their name completely translated. to avoid confusion.#UGH OK IM DONE BACK TO ACTUALLY WATCHING AND ROTTING AWAY IM SORRY IM JUST RLY PASSIONATE ABT DUMB SHIT#alice in borderland
6 notes · View notes
Text
.
#have been an anxious lil piece of shit since my mother walked past/then in my room bc she smelled something-#this was yesterday btw .. first thing she said was 'u dont vape do u?' and i was like 'no' *queue john mulaney voice: like a liar*#ok well technically only on occasion like if i dont have w**d#anyway she steps into my room and starts fuckin sniffing around and goes 'it smells like .. weed 😐' and just looked at me and guys ..#i am the WORST but my mothers brother aka my gay uncle got kicked out when they were younger bc he smoked too and my mother has grown to#not be fond of it since . so BASICALLY i lightly gaslit her and was like 'mom. seriously ? 🙄'#bc we joke about it on occasion like she went to denver and came back with a fuckin pot that says 'a little pot from colorado' meant for#weed and in my head im like 😭 bro i could actually use this 😭#so thats how we joke but obviously for me its genuinely funny bc of the irony but anyway .#my anxiety was so high after that bc i literally had my pen on me and i just left the situation and started petting my dog and filled up my#waterbottle trying to think of what the fuck i was going to do next but that was literally the end of that#(at least for now but i dont even want to jinx it)#to be proactive tho bc newsflash i do smoke! i got smart as shit and wrapped my smell proof combo bag to make it look like a gift for my#my friends when i go back to school so she wont think anything of it#and then put my pen old battery and vape in a box hidden away so i can still access them if i need but god DAMN#i was def just being stupid tho bc i forget when im at home i cant be so lax and rip the shit out of my pen with my door closed and no fan#anymore like 😐 u dumb fuck i was smarter at 16 with this shit#anyway. its definitely on me and im just mad at myself for it and hope it doesnt come up again/that she isnt overly paranoid with me like i#am with myself rn#also just for some more background my mom and i have never been super close but im really close with my dad but i love with my mom ? so#after this semester not just bc of this situation but i might be like. ive never had a room at dads and id like to at least for summer#and go from there. they just moved and its so cozy and id love to make my room mine over there for once even if it means moving in for abit#but the one thing that would absolutely break my heart is that my dog lives with my mom and its not like i couldnt still see her but i feel#like id feel guilty/like im abandoning her or something :'(#idk if anyone read this far pls lmk ur thoughts#oh and i work right by my moms so its not like i couldnt still visit her but it would break my heart#kylas thoughts#drugs /
4 notes · View notes
caruliaa · 2 years
Text
op of a post is in the same ""cringe"" fandom as me so i can openly be a fan of it in the tags without the fear of being singled out and mocked by them and then all their followers for it incident 13 resurrected 27 healed
#this happened twice today. w the post i j rbed which was being shared by swifters but feels like it cld blow up soon#to the point of everyone rbing it and if op wasnt also a swfite id b scared to even mention tswift let alone blast style lyrics#and also w the post abt characters from fandoms u sued to be in staying w u ik the op is an ex tss fan so i shant be mocked there either#(tho i also know they werent big on romantic prinxitey but like. theres a difference between that and getting anons telling me to off mysel#bc the op thought it would be funny to point me out as the cringe person for everyone to mock)#im not kidding this is a real like. fear of mine even if i want to i wont mention tswift in tags on a post out of fear of being singled out#and thats also the reason i j say roman if i mention him in the tags of a psot even though its confusing bc everyone into succsesion#part of me feels like im letting a fear of ppl judging me dictate my behavior and i need to stop caring if ppl think im cringe#but at the same time it is like. a genuine fear that if im singled out by op to be made fun of ill get legitimatly harrased#by their followers or if its in a rb by other people who see the post and laugh at it#idk !! im very weird about this and i think its the fault of. not an incident that happened last year but two specifc ppls behavior#that led to that incident and the attitudes they perpetuated. thats all ill say . other than its dumb that this still affects me#but it just does i guess !!!. i do wanna start not caring me though j also be cautious like ill wait unti the post is at 10k+ notes yk.#anyway !! how come i never shut up up huh im always talking in the tumblr post tags . and then like two ppl care. and i love them 4 it<3#flappy rambles
3 notes · View notes
shatteredfears-arch · 2 years
Text
i had a red bull for serotonin boost bc my pill serotonin isnt giving me the happy its supposed to and suddenly its 8 pm and ive had a long insta story abt why p/amela i/sley deserves a new and better girlfriend whos also an ecote/rrorist and my drawing pads sitting open on my lap
there is nothing on my drawing pad
2 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
...
#listen. im just gonna rant abt something real dumb for a sec#the framing of missing 411 stories make me so annoyed. and if u dont kno. missing 411 stories are focused on ppl who went missing in#national parks or just out in nature with no real explanation. i dont even kno why i watch these videos they just make me mad#theyre not all bad but like mother fucker do u not kno how easy it is to get lost in thr fucking woods?#theyre like: this person was an experienced hiker. they wouldnt have just done X#like no. fuck off. it only takes one bad move. one bad day. one unexpected run in and boom that's it#its not that crazy???? its not magic or bigfoot. its ppl getting confused or disoriented and panicking#i mean. obvously not in every case but fucking im like 99% sure its not spooky stuff. its just easier than youd like to think to get lost#my little sister got lost in the woods when she was like 6. she took a wrong turn on a hiking path and walked so far my dad almost turned#back bc he thought she would never get that far but there she was. one tiny blip in a big big forest and she was on a path#its so so easy to miss one tiny point out there. this also goes for places out in the desert#like sure its flat. how could a person get lost in an open space? but no fuck u. ive gotten lost walking along a 50m flat transect#i looked up and for about a minute i wasnt where i thought i was. the heat and not drinking or eating enough can really mess with you head#ugh. i dunno. one of my lab mates has done more like serious outdoors stuff. like not going back to civilization for weeks doing field#work out in Colorado. and he says there is something weird about being alone out there. like some places have a call to them. a temptation#compelling you to do things u kno r bad ideas. but i also pressed him and it seems to come from a lack of othet ppl watching you#like a lack of socal constraint enables the temptation to make reckless choices. so like i dunno it sounds more like a human thing#than the supernatural but like what do i kno? anyway. missing 411 stories make me man#mad. god. there was one i watched where the guys were like. hm they seem to happen around weird places like swamps. or around bad weather#events. so maybe these places or events cause disappearances to happen. like fucking no! do u hear what ur saying?????#the disappearences occure around places that are objectively difficult to search under conditions that delay search effort????? is ur brain#broken? the bad conditions make it hard to find ppl so u find less ppl and theyre marked as missing. jesus christ#anyway. its baffling to me. but i keep watching thr videos. probably bc i have nightmares about running into wild animals out in the woods#so im searching for like. god what not to do if i get lost in the woods. when what i shoukd do is watch survival videos rip#unrelated#ugh. also ive done some work in a national park where u would think its super super hard to get lost but our fieldwork got delayed bc ppl#had to go do search and rescue and the person was dead by the time they were found. i dont kno the details but like its a thing that#happens. its not that crazy#not to mention all the dumb fucks who fall of the cliffs every year down where i grew up. every fucking year. it happened to one of our#neighbors. he was at the bottom of this cliff for a whole day and survived. i dunno bad things happen everyday. u r not immune
13 notes · View notes
gnc-tits · 2 months
Text
work has been pissing me off sun seer lee loikkkk if the pos system didnt want me to do a no sale then why is the option on there 🤔
0 notes
binders-and-beanies · 3 months
Text
ED tw in da tags i just need 2 vent
#ive been. strugglin w food again. not even in an ED way like. I Want to eat#but my appetite n nausea has just been getting worse and worse I like Cannot eat enough#I have to force like half a meal down and then be too uncomfortably full to eat again the rest of the day. sometimes it’s painful too#which will result in me intentionally eating less in the hopes of being able to eat later#like if I have a special dinner or smth coming up I’ll skip lunch and then still only manage a few bites at dinner#so I never know what or how much food to get. I don’t wanna waste a lot but if I Can eat I wanna take advantage#part of it too is this is the most independently I’ve ever sought out my own food#like it’s my first time not living at home Or having a meal plan. so money is a factor in a way it never has been#which I could handle if I felt like I could freaking eat what I buy! or if I didn’t need Specific ass foods if I wanna get anything down!#eventually I end up ravenous and get like a $20 meal and then can’t justify buying more later#but I can’t eat even the tiny snacks in my dorm sometimes. esp in the morning#idk if part of it is also just my body struggling to get used to an all new food routine. a lot changed at once and I have no consistency#but I should be able to eat at least close to what I’m usually able to eat right? I’m not like Starving or binging?#dude and the freaking nausea is worse w each passing day. actually lemme just:#emetophobia tw#bc. I will be having a conversation w a stranger and just start wretching heaving etc#not actually ******** ** but having to actively try not to for the first time in years#like every day. it’s worse when I’m nervous or doing smth active but it’s constant and debilitating and embarrassing#bc everyone keeps having to be like oh my god are u good? and idk what to tell them!! idk what’s going on!!#I’ve just started saying I have chronic nausea bc I clearly do. idk exactly from what. dyspraxia? former ED? Smth I don’t know I have?#I take nausea meds but it only helps for a few minutes. I need 2 tell a doctor abt it but don’t have my insurance card yet#idk why I’m saying all this here I don’t rly want ppl’s dumb speculations or recommendations. I just like dunno what to do#it’s hard enough as is to eat as a dyspraxic person. my choices are limited#i pretty much have Disordered Eating again despite not rly having like. an ED anymore. mentally#I’m sure not having enough food intake is affecting other health issues and I’m eating as much as i can but at what cost (the nausea)#mine#personal#txt#eating disorder tw
1 note · View note
audiovisualrecall · 4 months
Text
Love how I can ruin something so easily
#actually id say love how depression can do so but i dont have to behave irritably just bc my brain feels unmoored and unhappy for no good#reason. i dont have to make it everyone elses problem#i wasnt trying to! but i cant communicate hey i feel like x and thats making me feel y and i dont know what to do about it#i just.. why dont they ask 'Why?' when i get like that. i want them to notice that I'm acting uncharacteristically and say something so that#i can go oh yeah thats dumb and idk why sorry yeah#but theyre reacting like its not obvious when i pointed out that this happens and that i want them to ask me 'why'#yeah is it fair to expect that if them? no. but idk what else to do abt it bc i am incapable of makingany other decision#im ANGRY#I'm disappointed i didnt get to be here for the yard sale and help them#I'm frustrated i had to be at work even though i was superfluous there today#I'm disappointed and frustrated that they dont want to try a yard sale again another week#like maybe a warmer and nicer weekend and puttinf more signs up will result in more traffic to the yard sale!#theyre giving up on it and i wanted to do a yard sale and didnt get to bc i had to be at work instead and now i wont gwt to again bc they#dont want to plan another yard sale bc theyre exhausted by it#i missed out and i wanted to do a yard sale so bad and didnt get to be here for it!#I'm frustrated that qe wont do another yard sale#and I'm unhappy that they didnf trust that i could clean up and brinf stuff inside at least like theyre tired so why are they doinf the work#let me help! i want to feel like i helped! I'm useless i dont do anything! but i was fold i cant do it on my own and wouldnt know where they#wanred to put stuff#like yeah i cant move the tables on my own into the shed. fine. but the boxes of stuff??? she could have come and directed me instead!#so like. fine i wont help. and then i got up and came to fuckinf help anyway even tjo apparently i wouldnt have done it right on my own#and shes like that attitude wasn't helpful like neither was what you said!#i know I'm not smart or helpful and just an annoying tag-alonf overgrown child but i wanted to do something#if it was my oldest sister insisting she could do it they wouldnt have protested!#whatever I'm stupid and reactive and i could have said like that makes me feel like u think i cant help and that feels shitty#whatever#I'm just. i hate existing its too frustrating and complicated and i havw no choice in the matter and i want to just curl up in bed and do#nothing and go nowhere and not talk to anyone and not do my medication bc i wont have insurance if i dont go to work bc i wont have the job#which means i can never do that bc unfortunately the result of not taking my medication scares me more than i hate having to be a person#i hate being a person but being sick is infinitely worse so
0 notes