#but to answer your question yes there is a trans girl somewhere out there who was on like a weekend trip or something and has NO idea

[lazylittledragon]

I've been loving ur mombin comics, but where is the other mom? what trans hottie is not paying her child support out here? (this is said with a lot of love and affection, im very curious abt how she got into that situation, if you have thoughts abt it <3)

ajsjhsdfh i wasn't going to answer this because it's explained in the next comic but kudos to you for being the only person to say 'who's the other mom' instead of 'WHO'S THE DAD'

also the way this is worded made me laugh for like 5 minutes thank you so much xx

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

Not a ship, but I headcannon that Cornelius is enby. What are your thoughts on that?

hi hello!! oh i'm happy to answer any kind of question it's more than fine dear!!

and!! yes yes yes yes!!! idk about you but personally to me cornelius is transfem!! i saw the hc somewhere and now it lives rent-free in my head. she/they pronouns queen. i think the first people she would've told are beatrice (who's a girl too + i hc her as trans tho in the binary) and melvin (who's just. overall a good friend); she isn't just cool about it, she cheers her gender identity you might say, if you get what i mean??? (it's a v specific kind of feeling i hope this comes across okay) although she really knows it's really not a good idea to come out publicly in the school

one problem i have with the nerds is, well. their general creepiness towards girls especially. so i can imagine like... cornelius questioning whether she should tell them or not, for now telling just bea and melvin and they share moments and all and it's fine. she didn't know she could enjoy herself like that by just being their genuine, truer self y'know.

but ultimately, when she chooses to come out to the rest of the clique, i do think it'll go well. because, you know... the kids who suffer together stay together. and it's still cornelius. yeah maybe she uses different pronouns from the ones they were used to, they don't consider her another guy like before, so? it doesn't change that she's the theater kid who knows from heart romeo and juliet and the one who came up with the pun to humiliate the jock at the big game, and she's still one of the resistance against the brute force and the gratuitous violence of the jocks. nothing can change that and cornelius gets so emotional and group hug

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Embarrassing Story/Confession Time

In which I share things that I cringe to remember, and then insert a moderately related moral to make the telling worthwhile.

So, once upon a time, in days of yore, when lemons were a thing and FF.net was THE place to be, I had an account. I have ZERO recollection of the login info and it is a disturbing possibility that the crap I wrote still exists somewhere (please, I beg of you, don’t look for it.)

I recently reblogged this post that reminded me of my teen years and how far I’ve come (not that the journey is over)...so I figured I might as well tell a story from my cringe problematic past for the lolsies (and the shoe-horned in moral). 

ANyhoo, I didn’t know until I was...errrm, 17 or 18?... that bisexuality existed. I knew that there were people who were gay (that was bad evil bad bad) and straight (that was good within a veeery limiting set of restrictions). In the year or two where I was just starting to hear whispers of this rumoured third option and slowly awakening to the (at the time, horrifying) possibility that it might apply to me, BL and shipping and such were part of the process of exploring that. 

(And yes, there’s plenty to be said about the fetishization of mlm relationships and the many other problematic aspects of a lot of BL, but I was essentially so sheltered as to be developmentally stunted, and those were some of my first exposures to queer romance framed in a positive light. And because they centered guys, and I was a girl, it allowed me to somehow explore my own queerness without ever admitting to myself that that was what I was doing.)

So, I was tiptoeing into queer stories, and queer ships in not-specifically-queer stories, and I wanted to write fanfic for one of my ships. But, problem! Gayness was bad evil bad bad! (I swear in retrospect that I was 17 but operating on 12-year-old software in some ways.) 

So how did I get around this? Weeeelll, I wrote one of the two guys getting magically turned into a woman. But here’s the thing...he, or rather she, was delighted by the change. She’d always felt not-quite-right as a man. She was attracted to her partner but did not feel that her attraction was correctly defined as that of one man towards another. She felt more herself, once she was a woman.

So...in attempting to de-queer my story, I accidentally wrote a moderately recognizable trans character (at least coming from the mind of a kid who had only the slightest awareness of trans folks existing). And I just find that hilarious in hindsight. 

Anyway, the moral I’m gonna tack ham-fistedly on here is this: my fellow adults, be kind to ignorant kids online. Whether they’re far right like I was raised to be, or from the new batch of “so far left they’ve circled back to purity culture” kids. And, if it’s safe for your own mental wellbeing, gently interact with them. So much of who I am now can be credited to a handful of patient and kind LGBTQ+ adults who were just chillin’ in spaces adjacent to my identity crisis, listening to me ask questions like, “doesn’t the way male and female bodies fit together prove it’s the only right option?” and just...not taking my head off for it. I’m not making excuses for grown adults acting like asses, but kids, and even young adults, are usually repeating back something that has been hammered into them. And nothing quite takes the wind out of those indoctrination sails like older folks just listening, and answering questions when they’re able, and not raging at them the way they’ve been told that their “enemies” will. 

[siriusisntcis]

A Trans James Potter Story

Chapter 4

James woke up the next morning a little nervous to say the least. Yes, he had read most of his textbooks cover to cover for a bit of summer reading, but this was the real deal. He had scarfed down his breakfast, even faster then Remus who admittedly was a messy eater. They all had potions together that morning with the Slytherins. James hurriedly got up once he was done eating. “Come on,” He shouted behind him, realizing only Remus had gotten up. Sirius and Peter groaned and took their last few bites of food before getting up.

They made their way down to the dungeon. It was a bit spooky in James’ opinion. They went inside the classroom to see a few other early arrivals. There was a girl with braids with her head in the potions textbook, that greasy Slytherin boy who was always following Lily around like a lost puppy, and Lily. He decided now was his chance to talk to her because the slimy boy was talking to the professor. 

“Can I sit with you?” He asked, putting on his most masculine voice, puffing out his chest a little. 

“No uhm Severus is sitting with me,” She answered, not even bothering to look up.

“You really want to sit with that grease ball?” Lily scowled up at him.

“That ‘grease ball’ happens to be my friend so find somewhere else to sit,” She told him harshly. James took a step back, hesitating to leave the situation. But after a moment he turned around to go find Sirius. 

“Rejection is tough huh mate,” Sirius laughed out. James side eyed him. James was never good with rejection or any type of criticism. This might be because he was spoiled by his parents. He was their miracle child and he could do no wrong. 

Maybe he wasn’t masculine enough, maybe girls could just sense he was also born a girl. The fact that maybe he was being rude never crossed his mind. 

He worried and worried until the professor started his lecture. The only things of note that happened were the potions safety quiz and the homework being an introductory essay. The Slytherins would always snicker after a Gryffindor would ask or answer a question, especially a blonde haired boy who was sitting next to the Slytherin girl who arrived early with braids.

That piece of snot Severus was taking furious notes on whatever the teacher said, James and his group of boys made fun of him the whole class. Remus had trouble writing with a quill. He complained about why they couldn’t just use ‘pens’. Must be a muggle writing utensil. 

When leaving potions Severus knocked into James with his shoulder, causing him to stumble a bit. 

“Oi what the hell is your problem!” James shouted after him, bursting into the dungeons corridor. Severus didn’t react or turn around. So James grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to face him. “I said what’s your problem,” He said, keeping his grip on Severus’ shoulder. Severus pushed him away and didn’t even dignify James with a response.

“Let’s go Lily,” He said in James’ general direction. James scowled at the pair, already becoming jealous. 

“Whatever Snivellus,” James called out after them, insulting Snape's rather prominent nose. He was tempted to go after them but Remus got in front of him.

“Just leave it,” Remus told him.

Sirius however gave him a pat on the back.

“Whatever, let's just go to herbology,” James said, shaking him off.

[advicesuggestions]

Hi!! You can ignore this if you want, it's OK.:) I was just looking for blogs on tumblr that help / advise LGBT people. (don't you know any please?) and I noticed your profile. Can i tell you something? I am desperate :(i'm a girl. I thought I was straight. I've always liked boys. But .. sometimes I ... like actresses. I've always said myself that this doesn't mean I'm bi, that's normal. I just think they're pretty. But .. it has happened to me a few times that .. well, for example, I have one classmate (she is 100% straight) and .. I don't know if I like her, probably yes? I could imagine kissing her, maybe others things, but sex itself probably not? I'm confused. I also tried to do orientation tests and it turned out that I was straight. But it is written somewhere that when somebody takes tests for orientation, he/she is probably not straight. I know I should know this by myself, whether I'm straight or not, .. I'm really confused. please would you help me ?? thank you very much. have a nice day and i hope i don't bother you!

desperate anon :(

Well first and foremost, My apologies for not answering this question when you asked. I didn't forget this, I never had tbh, I just didn't know how to tackle it since I wasn't fully sure of my own sexuality and gender identity at the time. I didn't feel fully qualified to answer this question, But I think I have an answer:

It's a struggle to realize a lot of things all at once. Experiencing and thinking things that tie along with the queer community is a lot to handle, especially if this is the first instance of questioning. Being lgbt or coming to the conclusion of being apart of the lgbt community isn't easy nor going to be easy for you. But, the first battle you'll have to face is questioning your sexuality, what thoughts and feelings are considered to be lgbt? do you actually find the same sex attractive? do you find both attractive? maybe the feelings you feel are platonic and maybe you've never actually felt romantic attraction?

On the rumor of "if you take gay quizzes, you probably are gay", A lot of folks in the lgbt community started off their journey by taking the "am I gay?" quizzes, I certainly did and now i'm a comfortable oriented-aromantic trans-dude. Usually the first step of knowing whether or not you're lgbt is if you take quizzes that simulate common stereotypical lgbt experiences. However, this doesn't mean anyone who takes those quizzes are automatically lgbt. It's all up to you to decide. Being informed of the diversity in the community is wonderful and I absolutely encourage you to delve deeper to (hopefully) find a label you feel comfy with. However, experience is key. You may like something in theory, it doesn't necessarily mean you will enjoy it in practice. Don't be afraid to experiment with your identity if you're willing to make that leap.

Side note: You can find someone attractive but not be attracted to the gender in particular, it's called conventional attraction. There's also a term that I suggest you look up: compulsory heterosexuality. This is a common experience with lesbians and the WLW community.

Another Side note: Romantic and Sexual attraction can go hand and hand but are not necessarily the same thing. You can romantically attracted to someone but not be sexually attracted to them. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for the same sex but not for the opposite sex chances, you could be bisexual with a preference for women. If you notice a similar experience but vice versa, you could be a lesbian. If you notice a lack of sexual attraction for anyone regardless of identity, you could be asexual!

Again, this is YOUR experience, YOUR identity, only YOU are allowed to make the calls but never get scared to experiment. In my eyes, that's what the lgbt experience is. Just know that no matter what happens, who you end up loving/dating, you are incredibly welcome and valid in the community. I wish you luck on this journey!!

[Don't feel bad for asking this question. You aren't a bother at all. I hope that this very delayed answer will still provide some use and comfort in this path of yours. If you do ever desire to ask for more advice, feel free to send another ask or even a DM. Good Luck :] ]

-Mod K

[thedysphoriadiaries]

Entry 30 - The End of Everything - 18 March 2023, 12:25am

Well well. We've made it to the 30th entry, and we're two days away from the fifth month of active gender questioning.

I... don't know what or who I am. That much is obvious. I still can't help but feel like it's a mistake. That somehow, somewhere down the line, I'd be called crazy for wanting to be a girl - something I'm not.

And, as far as I've been thinking, maybe... I don't have to transition. I am... comfortable. Somehow.

There's a certain stability that comes with being your AGAB. You don't have to re-learn the social norms of the other gender. You won't get judged for trying to be you. You... kind of know how to deal with not being you. And, maybe that stability is just what I need. There's no telling what estrogen would do to my brain, and... I just am too tired to find out.

If anything, that single strategy of me asking cis guys what they felt towards girls, or wanting to be girls, has backfired - I no longer see myself as someone valid. I see myself as subhuman. Someone with a defect. Someone who's doing this for attention, or faking it, or just someone who's been affected by social contagion the same way some people turn up with Tourette's, after being exposed to content of that nature on Tiktok.

Maybe mom was right - I am indeed too young to decide these things for myself.

I can't seem to break my bad habits - I've once again started hoarding pictures of the lives of the girls around me again, even though I promised myself that I'd never do that. I don't know why I do it. It's not to gawk at them or blackmail them. I... just... do it. For no apparent reason.

I've started looking at the girls around me in my environment again, and started feeling jealous of them.

I can't take this any longer.

Maybe I'm letting being trans be too big of a deal in my own life. Maybe I'm just autistic or have some manner of obsessive behavior, and letting being a girl be my next big ‘project’. I'll never know.

I might not be able to relate to other guys. I might not want to be a guy. I might not be able to see myself as a guy. I might want to be treated as a girl, but all those don't mean anything.

I could just choose to... not be like that.

I'm fine, in isolation. I could live like this. I could live, as long as I don't get the reminder that girls exist. I could get by not looking at myself. I could get by without a relationship.

I still don't know what's wrong with my mind, and I likely never will.

...

I'm... sorry.

For all the wasted effort.

For the wasted time during our meetings.

For being me.

I'm sorry, that I treated you people as a way to get the answers I wanted.

Maybe this was the thing that would come - I said I couldn't scream into the void forever.

Maybe I've finally locked her away or killed her for good.

But I don't know. I... don't want to know.

...

My brother said I was on the precipice of a choice, and... he told me to get the stuff living in my head rent-free, out of there.

Yes, that includes the things that other people have said to me, which include the overly-warped version of “<thing> doesn't mean anything”, among other things.

I... refuse to believe that this entire decision comes down to being happy - I'm not happy, if you haven't noticed it yet.

...

I can still see their faces. Each and every one of them, frozen in time.

Aurelia. Alicia. Autumn. Amanda (multiple Amandas). Elaine. Hazel. Letty. Melanie. Karie. Lynette. Cheryl. Florence. Carlyn. Minn. Rachel (multiple Rachels). Felicia (multiple Felicias). Jolene. Jolie. Tricia. Jean. Jacqueline. Stephy. Geraldine (a teacher). Ewanne. Ain. Dawn. Sonia. Isabel. Jo-Anne. Isabella. Amelia. Natalie. Sarah. Alinda. Shernice. Alyssa (multiple Alyssas). Alyx. Anastasia. Elise. Beryl. Glenda. Denise.

my... relatives, and family.

Mom.

Celeste.

Anikke.

Violet.

Bernice.

...

Lynn.

...

With each name I recall, I faintly see their face in my mind's eye. Faint. But still there.

The list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on. I've only listed the girls whose names wouldn't out where I went to study, or who I used to study with. There are more whose faces I still remember, even after my tongue has forgotten the shape and contour of their names.

...

how am I ever going to be normal?

...

How am I ever going to redeem myself?

...

i wish i could forget. to be taken back to yesteryear, a time when I have yet to figure any of this out.

But I can't. This memory is my curse. A personal hell - my personal Ninth Circle. It's a burden for me, and only me, to carry, till the end of everything.

...

Till next time.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[sixth-light]

Hi! I admit I went lurking in your lgbtqia tag, and somewhere in the tags you said that while you are a cis woman you know this because you consciously thought it through, and I would like to ask about it if you don't mind (feel free to ignore this if you do). So, how did you go about it? If I start to think about it I always end up thinking that if you strip away all stereotypes and physical attributes there's nothing left, and I could best describe my experience with gender as (1/3)

„society said I’m a girl and I don’t care enough to say otherwise”, like I don’t have any reason to think I’m not cis but when I think about what makes me a woman I can’t come up with anything other than „they said so”. I didn't want to ask a trans person about it, because when I put it like this it seems really dismissive of what they go through, and on top of that I really don’t want to be *that person* by seeming like I’m demanding that they validate their identity to me when I just (2/3)

get stuck not even halfway through my thought process about this, and I’ve had like multiple crises over this, so I’d like to get this over with if I can. This seemed like my best chance to get an answer without possibly hurting someone, so I will be very grateful if you can answer me, but don’t stress about it if you can’t or don’t want to. (And thank you for reading through this novel-length ask in the first place, really, and sorry for loading all of this on you. Crises, as I said…) (3/3)

(cut because this is gonna get a bit rambly)

First up: I think if you’re having multiple crises about gender it’s ok - in fact imperative - to ask questions about it, you’re not dismissing anybody else’s experience. I hope this answer helps you in some way.

The tl;dr is that, as trans people have taught us, the primary symptom of being [gender] is wanting to be [gender]. The long answer is...longer. 

I totally get where you’re coming from on “if you strip away all stereotypes and physical attributes there's nothing left”, but I don’t quite think it’s true - at least not in the way I interact with gender - and I’ll try and break down why. 

The thing is, gender is more or less fake. And when I say it’s fake I mean that it’s a very broad-brush system of grouping people which is made up in order to explain, very generally, who people are when you don’t know much else about them. And as a tool that is used to group people on an extremely broad level, it is inextricably intertwined with and born of whatever society you and your gender are operating in. So to start with, you can’t really consider gender outside of society. For me, it doesn’t mean anything when you take it out of the context of interacting with other people. Having (or not having) a gender matters because it’s a way of telling people something about who you are.

In terms of figuring out what things about you say what your gender is - I think of it like...there’s a big bucket of all the attributes people can have that are used to assign them a gender, or for them to pick that gender. Two people from the same society/cultural background will broadly agree on what goes in which bucket, and what the buckets are called. The more different your society and cultural background is, the more different the contents of your buckets are. Some stuff that’s in one bucket for your culture might be in a different bucket for another culture (like colours). What the buckets are and what’s in them changes over time. And, to make it even more confusing, no one person’s gender is made up of all the same attributes from that gender’s bucket, even comparing them to someone of the same gender who agrees with them totally on what the buckets are called and what can be in them. And lots of attributes are in multiple buckets! They can make someone feel lots of different genders depending on the person doing the feeling.

So, ultimately, gender for me is both incredibly, incredibly personal and totally inseparable from my cultural background. And that means that yeah, some of the bits that feel to me like they make me a woman are about my body or ‘stereotypical’ things - and that’s totally fine as long as I don’t make the mistake of thinking that this means someone for whom a DIFFERENT set of attributes makes them female is ‘wrong’ about that. Or the mistake of thinking that the things that make *me* feel like a woman are automatically female attributes for someone of a different gender. 

For example, for me I feel the ability/possibility of bearing children is pretty strongly tied to my gender - but I know nonbinary people and men who’ve borne kids, and they’re not women. And I know lots of women who don’t want to or can’t bear kids, and they’re definitely women. So as a marker of femininity, it’s not much use to generalise with. I can only say it’s in my particular gender bucket.

So, having worked through that - and because, like you, I started at ‘well I was assigned female at birth and I don’t disagree’ - I gave up on trying to think about gender as a question of specific attributes. I think of it as: does it make me feel good to be assigned as a woman, in this society I live in, and would it make me feel bad to be assigned as a different gender?

And the answer to both is yes. I like being perceived as female! I feel happy and affirmed in myself when I tick “F” on a survey. I feel more secure in female-dominated spaces. I want to be a woman, it makes me happy to be one, ergo I am one. 

Moreover, I don’t want to be perceived as another gender - I point out that I’m a woman if someone’s ever unsure. This was really brought home to me, don’t laugh, when I did a playthrough of Stardew Valley and accidentally made my character male (I get the little symbol confused shush they’re very similar) and spent the entire run through being upset whenever my character was addressed in-game as “Mr Anne”. I wasn’t a Mr! I didn’t want to be! It did not feel good! I have been misgendered occasionally IRL but only for momentary interactions, not persistently - I didn’t realise just how much I wouldn’t like it even in this very harmless context. 

But, here’s the thing: I’m not totally sure that I would be a woman or be so confident about being perceived as one if I lived in a society that had very different gender buckets, or put different things in them. I’m a cis woman because I align with the category of ‘woman’ as determined by 21st-century Aotearoa New Zealand. Would I be a woman in, IDK, second-century Scotland? Fucked if I know. And that’s fine, because like I said: for me gender is specifically a way of telling the society you live in something about who you are. I want to tell people I’m a woman, it makes me happy to do so, so I am one; and I was raised as a girl, so I’m a cis woman. It’s as simple and complicated as that. 

[bumblesimagines]

We All Have Secrets

Request: Yes or No

Finally gonna give the straights some attention lmao. Also, I'm not completely sure what (Y/N)'s secret should be so suggestions would be appreciated.

TW: Transphobia, homophobia, and biphobia

~

(Y/N) looked down at his phone, smiling softly as he walked. He quickly answered a text from Isabela.

'Isa, just tell them to keep it a secret. Nat and Mari would never tell anyone. Raul wouldn't tell anyone either.'

"Baby!" Maria called, smiling widely as she approached him. (Y/N) slid his phone into his pocket, arms wrapping around his girlfriend and lifting her up. Maria giggled, leaning in and kissing him gently. (Y/N) put her down, tucking a strand of Maria's black hair behind her ear. Maria's gaze softened, forehead resting against (Y/N)s.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Dario called, waving them over. (Y/N) chuckled, taking Maria's hand and pulling her along towards where their friends were sat at.

"Why can you two be like Maria and (Y/N)? They don't try eating each other's faces off every five seconds." Dario crossed his arms, looking at Isabela and Pablo. Isabela scoffed and rolled her eyes while Pablo chuckled. (Y/N) sat down, smiling when Maria sat on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking at their friends.

"How did the Nona thing go?" (Y/N) asked softly, gazing at his girlfriend. Maria hummed, smiling.

"I think Nat did a great job." Maria shrugged lightly, pecking his cheek before she opened her lunch bowl. Maria got some of her salad, raising it up to (Y/N)'s lips. (Y/N) smiled, opening his mouth and happily taking the food. Natalia leaned forward, frowning and looking at Gerry.

"What's up with Rosita? Why is she coming over here? Is she gonna be sitting with us everyday?" Natalia asked, disgust evident in her voice. Gerry ignored her, grinning widely and extending his arms towards the girl.

"Hey, how are you?" Gerry asked as Rosita approached them and sat on his lap. (Y/N) shared a look with Maria, chuckling softly and shaking his head. Natalia blinked in shock as Rosita and Gerry began to make out.

"Gerardo! Gerardo, stop it! Seriously? If you're gonna be doing this, find somewhere else." Natalia huffed, glaring at the couple.

"Don't be envious." Rosita said, pulling away and looking at her.

"It's not personal, Rosita. If someone sees you here, they'll think anyone can sit with us." Natalia said, shaking her head lightly. Rosita scoffed, rolling her eyes and standing. As she walked by, she knocked over Natalia's new purse.

"Don't you know how much this cost, idiot?" Natalia huffed, picking up her purse. Maria frowned, shaking her head.

"Oh, just leave her alone already. Poor Rosita." Maria said. Natalia scoffed.

"Poor Rosita what? She needs to learn her place." Natalia grumbled, zipping up her purse. Isabela turned her head, looking at (Y/N).

"Hey, (Y/N), you want something from the vending machine?" She asked, brow quirking. (Y/N) got the hint, nodding.

"Yeah, sure." He smiled, looking at Maria. Maria licked her lips, standing up so (Y/N) could get up.

"You want something, gorgeous?" (Y/N) asked, giving her a small smile. Maria shook her head, returning the smile as she sat down. Maria watched Isabela and (Y/N) walk away, slight jealousy bubbling in her stomach. She tried pushing the feeling away, knowing (Y/N) and Isabela were just good friends.

"Why wouldn't Pablo want me to come out to my friends?" Isabela asked, frowning and she looking at (Y/N). (Y/N) licked his lips, shrugging.

"Lots of reasons.. He's not ready, he doesn't want the news to spread, he thinks he'll get shit for it." (Y/N) listed off, taking out a dollar and looking over the snacks. Isabela sighed, scratching her forehead.

"All I heard was him, him, him. What about me?" Isabela shook her head, frown on her face as she sighed deeply. (Y/N) got some dortitos, looking at Isabela.

"Don't stress, Isa. You do what you want. If I were you, I wouldn't tell Gerry or the other two idiots. They're already misogynistic and homophobic. You know how they treat Luis who has never done anything to them. They still make jokes about me cheating on Maria with a guy." (Y/N) frowned, opening the bag of chips.

"I just.. I don't want Pablo to get mad at me." Isabela said, rubbing her arm. (Y/N) hummed, sighing.

"Well, Maria can keep a secret. You can start by telling her." (Y/N) said softly. Isabela gave a small smile and nodded, getting a small snack and heading back as lunch ended. Maria perked up when she saw her boyfriend, smiling.

"I saved you some salad." She said softly as (Y/N) picked up his backpack. He smiled, pecking her lips and taking the bowl from her.

"Thanks, baby." (Y/N) cooed. Maria giggled, nodding. She glanced at Isabela, licking her lips. She looked at (Y/N), head tilting.

"You guys were gone for a bit. What did you talk about?" Maria asked, picking up her bag. (Y/N) finished eating, handing the bowl back to her and closing the bag of chips. He slid it into his backpack, shrugging.

"Typical gossip stuff." (Y/N) replied, looking at her. Maria grabbed his arm, waving to their friends. They started heading to class.

"I wish I had a friendship like you and Isa's." Maria said, resting her head against his arm. (Y/N) chuckled, glancing at her.

"Me and Isa have been friends since we were kids. Our mother's have always been friends so it's only natural that we're friends too." (Y/N) shrugged, looking forward. Maria looked at (Y/N), giving him a small grin.

"Let's go to the janitors closet." Maria cooed, standing infront of him. (Y/N) cocked a brow, chuckling.

"Alright."

(Y/N) looked at Quintanilla, boredly listening to his speech about cellphone use. He sighed softly, looking at Maria. Maria looked back at him, leaning over and kissing him. (Y/N) hummed, kissing her back. They pulled back when they heard a distorted male voice coming from the video.

"Who is Isabela De La Fuente?" (Y/N) furrowed his brows, glancing at Isabela. He watched the video, dread filling his stomach when he realized the direction it was going. Whoever had made it, did it with the intent on outing Isabela as trans. Students began shouting insults and asked Isabela questions. Isabela quickly stood, leaving the auditorium. (Y/N) stood up, following her out.

"Isa, wait!" (Y/N) called out, hearing Maria and Natalia calling for her as well. Isabela rushed into the bathroom. (Y/N) stopped infront of it, frowning.

"We'll take care of her, babe. Don't worry." Maria assured him, kissing him softly and entering the bathroom with her sister. (Y/N) looked at his phone, seeing people already posting about it. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He turned his head, noticing two girls trying to listen in.

"Don't you two have better things to do? Are your lives so boring that you have to be in other peoples business?" (Y/N) asked, cocking a brow. The girls scoffed and walked away, mumbling between themselves. (Y/N) watched Pablo and the other boys approach the bathroom.

"Did you know she was a dude?" Ernesto asked him. (Y/N) scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Are you fucking blind or stupid?" (Y/N) asked, glaring at him as he straightened up. Isabela stepped out of the bathroom, teary eyes settling on Pablo. She went to hug him but Pablo gently pushed her back.

"How could you do this to me?" Pablo asked as Ernesto, Dario, and Gerry made more comments.

"What do you mean?" Isabela asked, brows furrowing.

"Yeah, nobody told us you had a dick." Gerry said, shrugging.

"Shut up, asshole." Isabela huffed, glaring at Gerry. Pablo swallowed, licking his lips as he glanced at the guys.

"I mean, you lied." Pablo shrugged. Isabela stared at him in shock, betrayal written all over her face.

"No, I didn't."

"I trusted you." Pablo shook his head. Isabela scoffed, stepping away from him and glancing at their friends.

"You're a fucking asshole." Isabela glared at Pablo, walking away from him with the others following. One of the teachers, Susana, gently hugged her and took her away from the others. (Y/N) looked at Pablo, shaking his head.

"Way to go, dipshit." (Y/N) snapped at him, feeling Maria gently place her hand on his chest and step infront of him.

"Let's make sure Isa is okay, baby." Maria encouraged lightly, not wanting them to fight. She gently took his hand, pulling him away. Isabela was allowed to go home early so her parents picked her up. (Y/N) took out his car keys, approaching his car. He glanced up at Pablo.

"Did you know?" Pablo asked quietly. (Y/N) unlocked his car, opening the door and hitting Pablo with it. Pablo grunted softly, rubbing his arm.

"Of course I fucking knew. Isabela is like a sister to me. You can go to hell for that shit you pulled." (Y/N) barked, tossing his backpack inside.

"Baby, can I stay over at your place?" Maria asked, lifting her dress a bit and jogging over to them. (Y/N) nodded, motioning to his car while holding eye contact with Pablo. Pablo broke it, looking at the ground.

"Get in." Maria went around, opening the passenger door and getting in. She took off her bag, placing it on her lap. (Y/N) got in, closing the door and reversing.

"Pablo-"

"He did it to save his own ass. No wonder he didn't want Isabela to tell you guys. He was embarrassed." (Y/N) scoffed, knuckles whitening from his grip on the wheel. Maria frowned, taking his hand and gently kissing it.

"I hate it when you're upset." Maria mumbled, thumb running over (Y/N)'s knuckles. (Y/N) let out a deep sigh, shoulders slumping.

"How about we order some pizza and have a movie night?" Maria asked, smiling. (Y/N) shook his head lightly, licking his lips.

"Isa needs me." (Y/N) replied, gaze focused on the road. Maria sighed, leaning back against the seat. She looked away from him.

"What about me?" Maria asked softly, playing with her hair with her free hair. (Y/N) glanced at her, frowning.

"Princess..."

"I just feel like we haven't been on any dates recently." Maria shrugged, looking at him. She gave him a small smile.

"It's fine! We can spend the night at Isa's place or she can come over." Maria shrugged.

"No, I'll.. I'll give her a call. We can spend the rest of the day together." Maria smiled widely, nodding eagerly. She leaned over, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you, baby."

[thetorchwoodarchive]

Found family event masterpost

Thank you for all your submissions! Below the cut is the list of Torchwood fic recs focused on found family, as submitted by you, our followers!

we built a family (home) by myre ( JackIanto | Complete | 17844 | M )

When Jack gets back, things are different—he’s different—and he’s not sure where he fits anymore, but he should’ve known that there was a place reserved just for him.

Ianto Jones' thoughts on Life, Death, and Summer Squashes by Arnica ( JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 17762 | T )

The first thing he remembers afterward (and the rest of his life will always before and after Thames House now) is waking up to the sound of hospital machinery droning away, Gwen's head heavy on his legs as she drools on him with Rhys snoring away in the chair next to her, his hand spread wide across her back, head tipped back as he sleeps. Then there's Jack, sitting sideways in the window with his gun drawn and resting in his lap as he does something with the wrist straps in his hands.

Two of Us Are Hung From the Same Twisted Rope by ShastaFirecracker ( JackIanto, ToshOwen | Complete | 15799 | T )

An accident with some sort of brain-scanning alien device leaves Owen and Ianto sharing Ianto's body. Hijinks and nightmares ensue.

Does Africa Know a Song of Me? by etmuse ( JackIanto, MarthaTom, GwenRhys | Complete | 17618 | T )

Jack gets a call from UNIT. They need his help in Namibia. And when they arrive, Jack and Ianto (because Jack wouldn't leave him behind) discover the only communication they have with the team is letters.

Torchwood One Archive by james ( JackIanto | Complete | 11346 | M )

AU after season one. Jack has returned to Torchwood and to Ianto. Ianto is determined to make the best of it but he knows it won't last forever. Their time together threatens to get even shorter when the Doctor shows up unexpectedly.

In Bits and Pieces by reiley ( JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 83306 | M )

Sort of a fill-in-the-blanks story throughout the entire series: How they pull the pieces together after the world shatters, focusing mainly on Jack and Ianto, but all the others are there, too. Takes place between 'Exit Wounds' and 'The Stolen Earth', goes through all of series 1 and 2, and far back into the past.

Lost and Found by Kaneko ( JackIanto | Complete | 3642 | E )

Straddled over the rift, the Hub was a place where things were lost and found. Strange objects washed in like driftwood. Things went missing. There was never any sign of where they'd gone.

Personnel Issues by PinkFairy727 ( JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 41434 | T )

The Torchwood Three email newsletter: an excuse to gossip, bitch, plan dates, fight, and discuss squirrel rats. Co-authored with sparking_off.

Warnings: canon character death and swearing.

Just this once by Beleriandings ( JackIanto, ToshOwen, GwenRhys, LoisEsther | Complete | 239639 | T )

(Everybody lives.) (Or: when a certain Doctor arrives to save Owen Harper from a stricken nuclear power station, it begins a chain of events that will lead Torchwood Three down a very different path. From time locks and telepathy to tea and coffee, high-speed chases to unresolved sibling issues, their new lives (and new and old loves) may be different, but their bonds of friendship and family grow stronger every day. But when every child on earth starts speaking with one voice, the team are torn apart again as they’re forced to fight for their lives, and to confront monsters they’d thought they’d left behind in the past. But with all of them working together – along with some allies they’ve made along the way – Torchwood Three will stop at nothing to save their friends and set the world to rights. The consequences will ripple out across the universe and into the distant future. But they have to start somewhere, and the present is as good a place as any.)

Club Wales by pocky_slash ( Gwen&Ianto, GwenRhys, JackIanto | Complete | 19898 | T )

In the wake of Jack's disappearance, Gwen finds comfort in a new friendship with Ianto. Gossip, bonding, and other hijinks of understanding ensue.

Hell or High Water by aliciajazmin ( GwenJohnTosh | Complete | 3102 | T )

Toshiko, Gwen, and John have been married for a year now, beginning a life of adventure and crime (but only against those who deserve it). A mission going wrong results in the discovery of an orphan.

The three of them and the orphan must then decide what they want for their future.

A E I O Moo, I love Y O U by aliciajazmin ( GwenJackIantoRhys, GwenRhys, JackIanto | Complete | 627 | G )

Jack finds a new song to introduce to Anwen.

AKA Roses are red, violets are blue, Jack likes to sing: A E I O Moo.

Never Has He Ever by Jackdaw816 (JohnAndy | Complete | 1666 | T )

Hub lockdowns are great for juvenile drinking games and revelations of the self

Coping by innocent-until-proven-geeky (JackIanto, Gwen&Ianto, Gwen&Jack | Complete | 910 | G )

After the events of Exit Wounds, Jack, Ianto, and Gwen are exhausted.

Hug by innocent-until-proven-geeky ( Gwen&Ianto | Complete | 401 | G )

Not-wanting-to-let-go hugs.

March 31st in the Torchwood Family Household by innocent-until-proven-geeky ( JackIanto, GwenRhys, GwenJackIantoRhys | Complete | 117 | G )

Happy Trans Day of Visibility! Please enjoy this little ficlet of trans Torchwood polycule. In my headcanon, Ianto is a binary trans man using he/him pronouns, Jack is genderfluid using he/him pronouns, and Gwen is nonbinary using they/them pronouns with Torchwood and she/her pronouns in public.

Here For You (a friend's night out) by BookWerm ( Ianto&Tosh | Complete | 354 | T )

An answer to the prompt : “I’m their best friend” with Ianto and Gwen or Ianto and Tosh

The Lonely Cheryth by BookWerm ( Alice&Jack, Steven&Jack, Others | Complete | 6581 | G )

Steven's Uncle Jack is a mystery. One that he's determined to solve.

A fic through quite a bit of Steven's life (yes, he lives through Children of earth) that was quite a bit of fun

A Moment (An Eternity) by Clare_Hope ( JackIanto, ToshOwen, GwenRhys | WIP | 10923 | T )

Owen slid underneath the closing door just in time to escape the room about to be flooded with radioactive coolant. Tosh didn't die of her wounds because with Owen there, she got medical attention before it was too late. The entire Torchwood team made it through that terrible day. Everything should be alright now. But Jack is really, really not alright.

Below 20° Celsius by Clare_Hope ( JackIanto, Team | Complete | 5182 | T )

20° Celsius is generally considered to be the lowest a human's body temperature can be before dying. This is bad news for Jack, who is a bit colder than that when he's pulled out of Cardiff Bay after drowning continually for a couple hours. The good news is that he doesn't have to deal with it alone.

Work Friends by Clare_Hope (Ianto&Tosh | WIP | 3431 | T )

After everything that happened with Mary, Ianto is the only one who doesn't seem uncomfortable around Toshiko. She can't read his mind anymore, but pretty sure she knows what he's thinking: We've both seen someone we thought loved us killed by Jack. I understand. I might be the only one who understands.

Of Motion in Perpetuity by Beleriandings ( JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 106708 | M )

When Gwen, Jack and Ianto investigate a cold case from end of the nineteenth century, they find themselves pulled back in time against their will, fighting to protect each other and to get home.

Conditional Iteration by Beleriandings ( Gwen&Ianto, JackIanto, GwenRhys | WIP | 35431 | T )

Gwen can only watch, helpless and raging and grieving, as Jack and Ianto die in Thames House. The next moment though, she finds herself pulled out of time, back to the moment it all started to go wrong. Maybe second chances aren't in quite such short supply as she thought.

Coffee Break by firesnap ( Gwen&Ianto | Complete | 2069 | G )

Gwen and Ianto steal a few minutes to chat and make plans.

Another Rainy Day by SerenityJane ( Team | Complete | 3088 | T )

Tosh darted the occasional look at the closed door, curiousity warring with courtesy. So was Gwen, but she looked more like someone was dangling sweets in front of her nose and telling her she couldn’t have them. No prize for guessing who the candy was. Owen was watching the girls, and desperately trying not to think of pink elephants.

The Right Kind of Doctor by joonscribble ( Owen&Team | Complete | 2008 | R )

Three times Owen Harper was good at his job. Set between season 1 and 2.

Stargazing and Truth-Telling by earlybloomingparentheses ( JackIanto | Complete | 4632 | T )

A month after the events of "Exit Wounds," Jack Harkness heads off to an unknown galaxy on a mission for UNIT, and Ianto and Gwen are left behind to stare up at the stars and wonder when he's coming back. As a small act of rebellion against Jack's perpetual mysteriousness, they decide to play a game: they have to answer each other's questions with absolute honesty. There's a lot Ianto needs to get off his chest, his feelings about Jack Harkness not least, but the truth is tricky--it's never safe, and it's certainly never easy.

ghosts in my head by Sholio ( Team | Complete | 2637 | T )

Owen doesn't sleep, but he does dream. And the dreams he gets are mostly nightmares, because of course they are.

Facing Light in the Flow by engagemythrusters ( JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 3821 | T )

A slice of a life nobody had dreamt they would ever have.

The Door Wide Open by sherlockpond ( GwenRhys, JackIanto, ToshOwen | Complete | 5333 | G )

Torchwood incurs a tough life on its field operatives.  They deserve times where they feel like they need to be vulnerable in  front of each other. [6 times the team were emotionally honest with one another - set during various points of S1 and S2]

Flatpacked by Beleriandings ( Ianto&Rhys, JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 6946 | G )

Rhys has a day off, and decides to spend it peacefully looking at homeware in Ikea. He's not expecting to bump into one of his wife's coworkers there; much less, a shapeshifting alien that likes to eat batteries. But then again, that's Torchwood for you.

On saving the world, and what happens after by Beleriandings ( Gwen&Ianto, JackIanto | Complete | 2447 | G )

After the events of Journey's End, Gwen and Ianto wait for Jack to come home.

Domestic Disharmony by thirteeninafez ( Gwen&Ianto, Gwen&Jack, GwenRhys, JackIanto | Complete | 3163 | G )

In which Jack and Gwen get stuck in the Archives and discuss green milk, thermostats and Ianto Jones.

After the events of Journey's End, Gwen and Ianto wait for Jack to come home.

Pastries, Avoidance Tactics, and a Bottle of Scotch by pocky_slash ( Gwen&Ianto, JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 6220 | G )

In which Gwen said something she regrets, Ianto makes a poor dinner choice, Rhys offers sound advice, and Jack has a key. A different sort of "Meat" post-ep.

Respite by Beleriandings ( Gwen&Ianto, GwenRhys, JackIanto | Complete | 2591 | G )

Even by their usual standards, Gwen thought it was absolutely fair to say it had been a rough week.

Blood on Steel by Sholio (Owen&Ianto, Gwen&Jack&Owen&Tosh&Ianto | Complete | 12257 | T)

An alien booby trap turns the Hub into a deathtrap. Lucky thing it doesn't react to someone with no vital signs. Now Owen is their only hope. More specifically, he's Ianto's only hope.

The Cartography of Feeling by Sholio (Owen&Ianto | Complete | 20846 | T)

"We're sodding gladiators," Owen said. "Fuck this entire day and Jack Harkness too."

(Or: Owen and Ianto are abducted by aliens and forced to arena-fight. But the worst part might be the control device that connects them in an emotion and pain-sharing bond.)

Haul Out the Holly by Flamingbluepanda (JackIanto, GwenRhys | Complete | 1069 | G)

Sometimes you need a little magic in your christmas

with a lil’ help from my friends by Flamingbluepanda (JackIanto, GwenRhys, OwenTosh | complete | 1307 | G)

Everyone needs a Hug sometimes, Torchwood Included

(Or, five times Jack thought about hugs and the one time he thought of nothing at all)

I’ll think of you each time I watch from distant skies by Violetmessages (JackIanto, GwenRhys, Jack&Team | complete | 3749 | T)

In which Tosh makes a discovery and the team comes together to show Jack how much they love him.

Halfway Back by Sholio (Gwen&Jack&Owen&Ianto&Tosh | complete | 13953 | T)

Team Torchwood run a sanctuary for magical creatures, and this time they've got a basilisk on their hands.

Team Means Pack by Sholio (Gwen&Jack&Owen&Ianto&Tosh | complete | 2615 | G)

Post-Countrycide in a universe with werewolves.

Stormwrack by Sholio (Gen | complete | 2111 | T)

The last time Owen was in the Brecon Beacons, Welsh cannibals tried to eat him. This time, it was pouring buckets on him, and he was dead. At least the latter might help with the cannibal problem, although given his luck, probably not. They might just consider him well-aged, like a side of bacon.

Sky’s the Limit by Blackkat (JackIanto, SuzieTosh, Ianto&Suzie | series | 6,694 | T)

Ianto and Suzie meet as strangers on a rooftop, and bond over aborted suicide attempts, failed plans, bastard fathers, and the fact that they're batting for both teams. Friendship is a beautiful thing.

Forever and What Comes After by violetmessages (JackIanto, GwenRhys | complete | 10028 | T)

“Hm, imagine if they did,” Ianto said. “Torchwood would have to come out of retirement.”

In which Gwen and Ianto relax at a spa, Jack and Rhys attempt bad science, and Anwen is just along for the ride.

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time by paycheckgurl (JackIanto, GwenRhys | complete | 3351 | T)

This wasn’t exactly how they planned their Christmas going, but they were going to make the best of it.

Remnants of a Forgotten Past by paycheckgurl (Gwen Cooper & Jack Harkness & Owen Harper & Ianto Jones & Toshiko Sato | complete | 7523 | T)

Torchwood's latest case hits close to home for Tosh when it seems to center on Lodmoor Research Facility's Newest project...of a destructive off world variety.

Written for Torchwood MiniBang

Midlife Crisis by Princessoftheworlds (JackIanto | complete | 371 | T)

"You do realize," begins Owen one day during their usual lunch meeting, chopsticks dangling from his hand, "that technically, Javic is your mid-life crisis?"

Found you made us a star by Princessoftheworlds (JackIanto, OwenTosh, GwenRhys | complete | 6477 | T)

Millennia after having lost their team, Jack and Ianto set about reuniting with old friends and crafting a Torchwood for a new future.

[neitimatch]

So Basically a fanfiction idea

So, this’ll be basically just rambling. Since I got an idea for BNHA fic after reading some and decided to write it somewhere, even though I might never actually write it, seeing as I’m already swamped with buncha stories along with work etc. This’ll have trans headcanons and femslash.

Oh well, here we go:

Magne and Midnight both survive but neither of them are in good shape. There might be some timeline differences since I want both Magne and Midnight at the same hospital at the same time.

On Magnes case, the villains realize that they need to get her to hospital or she would surely die. So they show her up at the hospital and she ends up in the heroes custody. She will be in a coma for few months and then wake up. Some time goes past and none of the villains come to visit her cause, duh, they would just get caught. Until one of the guards acts differently than normally and they turn out to be Toga. She tells Magne about all their plans that they are going to bust her out and she’ll come with them and they will be whole family again. But Magne isn’t nearly as enthused and just tells Toga that it would be safer to just leave her here. The heroes would surely have a way to track her by now and she doesn’t want to put rest of the League in danger. Then Toga is like:

“You are the heart of the League, Big Sis, you can’t just give up. I- we can’t just give up on you.”

And then Magne, in big sis fashion, puts a hand on Togas shoulder and just tells her that her number one priority is to keep them all safe now. Toga cries but accepts that this is what Magne wants.

Then Midnight ends up in the same hospital in really bad shape. Izuku wants to go see her but Inko is a bit iffy, fearing that since Midnight is in such a bad shape the villains would just come and stab her or something and Izuku would be hurt too. So she tags along(Don’t question it, it’s mom instinct and even if your child could level down buildings it’s still mom’s instincts to try to protect them.) 

When they come to the hospital, Aizawa is there, just leaving to go see Magne. Though he doesn’t tell that to Izuku. The moment Midnight(referred as Nemuri from here on out) sees Inko, she is immediately smitten. She answers and talks with Izuku while low-key flirting with Inko. Inko though, in a fashion, is oblivious.

These two, Inko and Izuku visiting Midnight and Toga Magne every week, continue for a little over a month, until they happen at the same time.

Toga visits Magne, but when she’s leaving, she decides that it would be fun to see what kind of other patients there are in the building and maybe stab them a whole bunch. She goes through some who all seem boring, but then she comes to Midnights room and sees Izuku and Inko there with the hero. She is really happy at first, since Izuku is there, and she reasons that Inko will be as good as Izuku since she is his mom. Toga is about to make her move but she sees Inko hugging a crying Izuku and something in her just snaps and she stops. She keeps looking at the scene and feeling something. Usually it would be jealousy or hatred, because of her parents. But now she just feels longing. 

Toga stands there and doesn’t even realize when her disguise disappears, she just keeps looking at them. Izuku then proceeds to see her and goes full on protective mode. But Toga doesn’t do anything, she just keeps staring. Inko realizes what Izuku is looking at and goes to confront the girl, not listening to Izukus pleas to stay, since this silent staring Toga seems much scarier than the normal insnae one.

Inko and Toga look at each other while Izuku is like: Get away from her, she is insane, the more she likes someone the more likely she is to stab them, I should know!

But then realizes that Toga is not looking Izukus way, she is just silently staring at Inko. She brings up her hand and just keeps it towards Inko.

And then she starts crying. And backs off.

Inko feels Toga’s pain and is like: If you want, we can talk more tomorrow evening if you come to my place.

Toga looks back and nods and Izuku is going nuts.

Toga meets Inko next evening as Izuku is at U.A. She is completely reserved at first. But when Inko asks what happened to her next to Nemuris room, she just starts sobbing but also telling her story. How her family hated her, how heroes turned a blind eye when she was thrown out. How all of the people who tried to help just tried to force Quirk suppressants on her. That everyone, until she joined the League, just saw her as something that needed to be fixed, none who accepted her fully. She tells Inko that not her Quirks power, but that she needs blood. She is basically a vampire so her mental state will deteriorate if she goes without for too long.

Inko at the end, while Toga is just having a break down and sobbing, is hugging the girl and is like: Imma adopt her!

Next morning, while Toga is still sleeping at Izukus bed after crying herself to sleep, Inko goes to Nemuri, who she has started low-key dating(they are putting it off until Nemuri gets released). She tells her about what Toga told her and Nemuri is like: They won’t let you adopt her since they see her as a danger and don’t think you are strong enough to have her at house arrest. She will also take this surprisingly well, seeing as she saw Toga when she was at the hospital thing. She then tells crying Inko that she’ll do her best. Nemuri is then released the next day.

Though before she leaves the hospital, Nemuri goes with Aizawa to talk to Magne. And she asks AIzawa to leave so she can talk with Magne girl-to-girl. Nemuri tells Magne about Toga situation, and at first Magne is really scared for her little sis, but then Nemuri asks what she would give to have Toga safe, and Magne is like: Literally anything as long as it doesn’t hurt her chosen family(aka the league).

Nemuri is not really that happy, but Magne tells her that while they would most likely not gain Leagues secrets, they would still get two high ranking away form there. Nemuri then decides to make a deal with Magne: Toga will be safe and so will she, but Magne needs become a trans-advisor to U.A. and take Quirk suppressants, she will also be allowed to transition medically(since she wasn’t allowed before due to being a villain). Toga would go to U.A. to study to be a hero and they would keep an eye on both of them there.They would not ask for Leagues secrets, but one misstep from either of them and they’ll both go to jail for the rest of their lives. Magne agrees.

Nemuri ends up adopting Toga(Now Kayama Himiko, referred to as Himiko from here on out.) Nemuri tells Inko what had happened who is extremely happy. Himiko takes the adoption and and deal really well, though she is sad that she can’t go to play with the other League members anymore. She is somewhat weary of her new mother, who is also weary of her, but after few weeks they get along fine, though Himiko refuses to call Nemuri mom and just sticks to first name.

Meanwhile Izuku is having a mental breakdown in school, as they have started to question their gender. It started with a party they had hosted where all girls had boys uniforms on and boys girls, and Izuku realized they really enjoyed having a skirt on. The first idea that they came to was that they were a cross dresser, but it just didn’t sit well, so they started to do some research. Then they had a talk with Aizawa, who contacted Tiger, thinking  Izukuthat he would know way more about gender issues than a sleep-deprived professor. Izuku and Tiger talk, but seeing as Tiger is a trans man, while he can understand and give advice, he also advices Izuku to ask more from a trans woman. Izuku is more confident after the talk, and few days later Aizawa tells the class that they have a new gender-advisor and Izuku goes to immediately meet her, aka Magne, gets scared seeing the ex-villain, but after a bit calms down and they talk. Magne snarks a lot but as Izuku continues to be truthful and looking kinda scared of themselves, Magne starts to feel the old big sis powers kicking in, and she talks with Izuku seriously, at the end they both feel much better, Magne even telling Izuku to come back whenever they wish if they need. Few days later Izuku goes back to Magne and tells her that they are indeed, a trans woman(Referred from now on as Izu, and later on Izumi), Magne then advices Izu that she needs to do what is best for her, telling people she fully trusts first and going from there. Izu acknowledges this and thanks Magne, who is then like: Just call me Big Sis.

Izu tells Ochako, who is first little bit lost but the full on supportive, she also tells Tsu whojust smiles and is like: Kero.

Few months go by and Himiko has started to call Nemuri: Mama or Mama Nemuri. She is not really that much different, but with steady supply of blood now granted to her, she has lost her bloodlust. She also, since Nemuri and Inko are dating, calls Inko: Mommy. The school year is also coming to an end and Nemuri decides to propose to Inko, who says yes and they move in together.

When the year finally ends, Izu shows up at her home, with her support group ready as she is going to tell Inko about her being trans. Her support group consists of Todoroki, Ochako and Tsu. Though what she does not know is that Nemuri and Inko have moved in together, so when the door opens and out bursts Kayama Himiko, yelling: Big bro Izuku, not only does Izu get bad dysphoria, but also is just scared about Himiko being here. Himiko then proceeds to be like: Since we are siblings now my love for you is purely platonic!

And Izu is like: Thank god, I’m straight so it would have just ended in heartbrea... wait what siblings!?!?!

Himiko then proceeds to jump Ochako, who catches her in a bubble and they squabble a little. The group then goes inside and Nemuri and Inko tell whats up, Himiko is contantly clinging on Ochako, who has stopped trying to force the girl away since she would just come back anyway. Izu then asks to talk with Inko privately and tells her mom about her being trans. Inko is totally just like: I HAVE TWO DAUGTHERS NOW, AWESOME!!!

Like, WAY, too excited but it makes Izu feel better, Izu also tells her mother that she will go by Izumi from now on. After they talk and cry a bit Izumi goes back to her friends and Inko gets Himiko and Nemuri and tells them whats up. Nemuri has a small shock but gets over it really quickly and just can’t seem to stop smiling. Himiko on other hand completely flies of the fucking flip, not because Izumi was trans, she had Big Sis Mag after all, but because she remembered that she had misgendered her at the door. Himiko literally LAUNCHES herself at Izumi and just keeps telling her how sorry she is, with full on teateristics and all. Izumi just smiles and tells her that she didn’t know and its okay now. Todoroki leaves for his home during night after a romantic? farewell with Izumi.

Next day the girls go to shop new clothes for Izumi, they have bunch of money as Nemuri had been like: Take my money and use as much as you like, my new daughter needs clothes, dammit!

And they bring home a total haul. Some lazing around clothes(Tsu) Casual clothes(Ochako) and erotic clothes(Himiko, who constantly kept telling Izumi how much Todoroki was going to like them later on.)

When the school starts again, Izumi goes in with girls uniform and informs all of her changes, while most people are fine there are some, mainly Bakugou, who is not very kind at the beginning(He will warm up and stop being a transphobe later on and become the cool Aniki type) and the the class pervert(who keeps asking about literally everything trans related and asking for Izumi to perv for him. Don’t worry, he’ll get kicked out from U.A. or just dies somewhere and nobody cares)

After few weeks of school, Magne calls Izumi to talk with her(She has been on hormones for months now and lost muscle mass. She looks like a ripped lady now with all working parts(Yes I know this is not how it works at the moment at our world, sadly, but this is a fantasy world and it can have super effective hormone treatment, dammit), she tells Izumi that she can start her medical transition. So Izumi starts.

During the fall break, Nemuri and Inko have their wedding and Himiko and Izumi are going to be the flower girls. Bunch of the students attend. Later during the reception, Bakugou meets Izumi and asks her for a dance. Izumi agrees but only after her boyfriend, Shoto Todoroki, had promised to keep an eye on them the whole time. Bakugou apologizes to Izumi and while they don’t immediately go back to being friends(years of abuse plus transphobia, not gonna be easy) they start being more civil towards each other with hope that maybe later on they can be friends again.

Meanwhile Ochako has finally decided to act on her feelings and show Himiko who is the top of their relationship. Himiko is is more than happy with this development as they keep kissing outside the reception. Nemuri and Inko, who had asked before Izumis thoughts on the matter, finally tell their daughters that Izumi is now legally Nemuris adopted daughter, and that her and Inkos last names have been changed to Kayama.

Epilogue:

Inko and Nemuri are happily together, loving their children and grandchild.

Himiko and Ochako have a daughter and are engaged. Ochako is overly protective mom and Himiko is the 'cool' mama.

Shoto and Izumi are married and Izumi is pregnant.(Fantasy Woooooorrrrld~~)

[wangxianficrecs]

You guys, we get a beautiful canonical gay ship, which - how rare it even is? and y'all are already making up scenarios how to include wq into the ship? I guess this is why we can't have nice things. Why not just watch like 99% of other show that contain a het ship if you want one so bad? Poor wq being the scapegoat to ppl's unrealistic characterization is not only utterly OOC for her and Wangxian but also disrespectful to their canonical characterizations.

I think one of the best parts of fandom and fanfiction is that... it’s about people matching together characters who MESH, for whatever of a myriad of reasons, with a complete disregard for gender.  In our current media culture, most often the characters with the best chemistry/histories/etc. are male because our current culture doesn’t even bother fleshing out female characters beyond that of sexual objects.

So, the question is:  am I reading fanfiction because it is GAY, or am I reading it because it is explores the relationship and chemistry between the two characters that most intrigue me?

For me personally, the answer is both.  (I am not a fan of het sex, generally, because I am female, I am asexual, and I am uninterested in self-insert.)  The story in question explores two incredibly damaged people in a bleakly hopeless situation who are doing their damnedest just to keep from drowning... and in a dark moment, they find a way to draw comfort from each other.  Frankly... their genders don’t matter to me?  Would it be any different if Wen Qing were trans?  Would that make it more okay?  If it were always-a-girl-wwx?  What if it were Fourth Uncle?  Wen Ning?  Granny?  The story is simply about two human beings in a terribly unhappy place.  They are not in love, their relationship has no future, they are both very aware of that fact.  It is up to the author to make this pairing into something that I find believable and relatable.  In this particular case, the author did.

But listen, just like I told the other anon:  THE INSTANT you realize a fic is going somewhere that makes you feel uncomfortable, angry, attacked, negative in any way... leave it.  This is a very important life skill.

Some people want to look into corners that other people don’t.  That is okay.  It is the exact same okayness that allows you to peek into the concept of two people having a romantic homosexual relationship instead of a bro-ship.

Fanfiction, as I see it, is inclusive.  It’s not gay-only.  It’s a banquet, and you’re allowed to walk around with an infinitely big plate, loading anything you want onto it and avoiding the things you dislike.  Your dislike of a dish, however, doesn’t invalidate it for others.

Evaluate yourself.  Are you completely invested in your OTP?  Does it hurt to consider them with anyone else?  THIS IS FINE.  You can be that way.  (I usually am, actually, it’s VERY rare for me to accept anything else, and it usually has to sneak up on me unexpectedly.  Which is why this blog is 95% wangxian.)  Know yourself, understand your boundaries, and do not be ashamed of guarding them.  Just understand that other people may be or want something different, and that’s fine, too.

AO3 is not megalithic public media.  It’s not Hollywood, it’s not Simon&Schuster.  It is not an economic machine, and it doesn’t have the same influence over ALL of culture as CW, HBO or I-don’t-even-know-what-else-is-out-there.  I think that people are having a real problem lately with this distinction.  YES, demand that Hollywood, etc. stop portraying het-only couples, and DO demand that they watch every line of dialogue for racism/sexism/etc.  They shape our culture and make billions while doing it.  AO3, however, is where people come to hide.  It is VERY private.  No one makes money.  Each person who creates is doing so, on their own, from their own living rooms.  There is no $100M budget, nor is there a team of 1k people involved in a creation.  It is an entirely different thing.  If you don’t like what this one, single, unique, individual person is saying, then move along.  They are not beholden to you, nor you to them.

[hollyhomburg]

I'm fairly confused about this entire situation, honestly. I saw the original girl comment about whether or not she was entirely sure to feel comfortable on a page meant to do that exact thing. In my opinion (which is fairly confused atm), you were both in the wrong. Of course, you don't have to answer anything about your gender or whether or not you have certain body parts, I can definitely understand that! But the extra meanness was a bit uncalled for. They just didn't want to feel unsafe :/

Also, everyone deals with pain differently. Whether or not if it's something that seems a bit pushy or not. I feel for both sides of this weird miscommunication, I really do. I guess that's just my inner-understanding lol. So yeah, I feel for you! I know what it feels like to go through things that annoy you and cause disruption amongst your inner self, but my heart also goes out to the girl that was painted as a transphobe when all she wanted to do was feel was safe.

P.S, this was absolutely not coming from a place of anger! It is your choice whether to insult me or realize that people have different opinions; I will understand if either one is chosen! I wish you well, and if the girl is also reading this, I wish you well too and I really do hope that you get closure and understanding because I've also gone through something similar to what you have. It's so painful, but stay strong and you'll be able to say that you came out of it alive :)

----------------------

First off, I want you to know that the anger in the response is not directed at you the asker of this question. but at the person from last night. second, I’m probably not going to respond to any more asks on this topic, because I'm tired. 

okay so let me put it this way for you. you would not under any circumstances pull down Anyone's pants to check their genitals in public. right? or demand that they pull down their pants for you and expose themselves in a public way just so that you can make sure they don’t have a penis. 

The fact of the matter is that someone else's genitals are none of yours nor anyone else's business. And asking about this is not only violating and transphobic but also inappropriate. (I shouldn’t have to clarify that this is transphobic at this point. before you want to argue that- do your research, google is free).

what you seem to misunderstand is that transphobia is an act of aggression. to be transphobic is to cause trauma, to trigger, to be violent. this person asking me about my genitals was an act of violence. and I responded like it was one- with meanness that was called for because I felt hurt. because what they said was hurtful. 

as someone who has never felt safe in my entire life, both because of abuse, rape, and my identity- that doesn't give me a right to threaten someone elces safety because my safety demands it. each and all traumas are valid, and just because they wanted to feel safe on my page doesn't give them a right to take away my safety. especially because this is my page and my safe space that I have created with hours of uncompensated work. So no- they don't have a right to take away my safety and security for their own.  

asking on anon is also a little sus, they didn’t reach out through dm- which is how all things of a personal nature should be. they knew there was a possibility I would take it wrong and didn’t want to be blocked from my page. they feel entitled to my work and entitled to my body in the same way. i wont apologize for trying to preserve this page, and I won’t apologize for acting for matching their level of meanness. 

when you have trauma there are so many things that are triggering for other people that aren’t triggering for you. The real world doesn't come with specific trigger warnings and you have to eventually come to that conclusion with trauma, you will be triggered for no reason at one point, and its a sad fact but it will happen. 

for example- one of my triggers is piano music. to this day I can’t watch my favorite idol play piano because it is too much of a trigger to me. 

But I would NEVER insinuate that min yoongi needed to stop playing piano music just because at one point in my life my stalker would blast piano music outside my bedroom window at 3 am to keep me from sleeping for weeks at a time. or because I was constantly sleep deprived growing up because he wouldn’t let me sleep- my triggers and my reality are irrelevant to min yoongi enjoying the thing he enjoys, just like that person’s trauma is irrelevant to my own. It would be mean and uncalled for me to demand he stops doing something he loves just because it's a trigger for me. People will exist outside of your trauma and that's okay.  

(tw; rape) I’ve been rapped by three men in my life. One was a frat boy in college who I woke up to telling me my hole was bleeding and wanted me to leave because I was getting it all over his sheets. another was a old man, it happened when I was so little that I barely remember it and honestly, all I remember is how much it hurt and how dirty his hands were, he had a lot of dirt under his nails and I remember thinking ‘i don't think that should go inside me’ as a fucking 5-year-old

And the third, was three years ago when an American gi rapped me in hongdae, South Korea, I met him at a bar called mikes cabin. I wasn’t a perfect victim, i’d just had a fight with my soulmate and I went out looking for trouble and I found it. but after I changed my mind he didn’t care, he shoved his dick in my ass without my consent. I bled all over his sheets too. choked on the blood coming out my nose after he slapped me. i remember he shoved his phone in my face to take pictures. somewhere out there there are pictures of me getting raped and I don’t even know where they are or how many people have seen them. 

I don't even know his name only that he had a rose tattoo over his heart. my deadnames middle name is rose. My mom calls me ‘rosebud’ or ‘rosie’ more than my dead name. is it a trigger for me? yes. it is. of course, it is. how could it not be?  

I’ve been raped. i know what they’ve gone through, I know where their pain comes from but my pain is valid too. my genitals could be a trigger to that anon, but defining them in a binary of woman and man is a trigger for me. I am a person and they are a person and both of our triggers are equally valid. but this is my place. this is my expression. 

so why did I act meanly? first off. they violated me by asking me invasive questions and demanded a response. and then secondly; when I asked them not to and told them no- they invalidated my consent and my trauma. then thirdly- they misgendered me- fully committing to being a transphobe. that's why I was mean- because they were mean first.  

this is the only time I’ll explain why I was justified. I hope they get closure too- but their closure isn’t going to come from violence against me or any other trans person. one day that person is probably going to meet a trans woman, and I hope they know better than to call them a boy just because they have a penis. trans people aren’t your punching bags for your trauma. 

trauma doesn't give you the excuse to be a transphobe, no matter what happened to you. you have to learn to treat others with dignity and respect no matter their gender identity or how they trigger you. Because people can’t control what parts of themselves are triggering to you. 

This is the last I’ll talk about this. I'm gonna delete all the other asks asking me about this. I’m not going to talk about it anymore. if you can’t understand why what they did was bad, get off my page. I don’t want you here. 

[jaxsteamblog]

Avatar Thuy

Click here to read the full fic on AO3

“Spirits, I should never have asked you.” Thuy muttered as she rounded another corner.

“It’s not my fault you can’t follow directions.” His tone was so irritating, Thuy had to stop, squeeze her eyes shut, and count to ten.

“Kuruk. You haven’t been GIVING me directions!” Thuy hissed.

“I told you to take a left after the scholar’s hall.” Kuruk snapped in reply.

“It was just another empty room. They’re all empty rooms!” Thuy shouted in exasperation. With a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“It’s really not that hard.” Kuruk said sullenly.

“I’ve never been to the North Pole before.” Thuy said.

“No. Because you were born in a swamp.” Kuruk snorted and Thuy felt her shoulders fall as her anger left her in a rush.

“A swamp. The most powerful Waterbender since me is born in a disgusting-”

“You mean since Master Katara.” Thuy interrupted, now continuing down the hall.

“Excuse me?” Kuruk asked, his voice dripping with disdain. Thuy smiled to herself.

“Master Katara surpassed you when she was my age, and you were the Avatar.” She said.

“That girl-”

“-is twice the Bender you were, yes.” Thuy finished for him. “It’s a good thing you were the Avatar because you certainly weren’t going to make a name for yourself as a Waterbender.”

“Why you-”

“Goodbye Kuruk.” Thuy said sharply before severing her connection.

It had been nice as a child when she talked to Aang. He had been a grandfather and was very easy to talk to. Thuy wasn’t overly fond of Roku, but that was mostly because he was a bit stiff. Kyoshi was fantastic, which made it all the worse when Kuruk turned out to be so. Bad.

Still feeling smug, Thuy meandered for a bit longer in the halls. It was a long standing habit that when it got a little too people-y, she’d disappear. But this wasn’t the Swamp, where she could never get lost. The North Pole palace was just a series of buildings erupting from the ice around the important open spaces, like the dining hall. All she needed was a quiet space to process things, but so far every room she found was too big.

And she really didn’t want to be found before she was ready.

It had been her choice to come forward, and she told her parents she was fine leaving the Swamp for this debut, but nothing had been fine. Being so far from her roots made her feel raw and exposed. Plus, finally meeting her heroes in the flesh did not go as well as she had hoped.

Sadness drowned out her smug pride as Thuy recalled Katara’s stony look when they were introduced. Zuko had been much kinder, but in a polite, political sort of way. And Katara had been the one Thuy wanted to meet the most; seeing her so cold was like grabbing the blade of a knife.

“Avatar Thuy?” A voice called out in stunned surprise.

With a jump, Thuy turned around. It was one of the Kyoshi Warriors.

“Oh, um, Suki?” Thuy asked, trying to remember her name. The smile told her she was right.

“Were you looking for something?” Suki asked as she got closer.

“No.” Thuy said, shaking her head. “I just needed to take a break.”

Suki examined her for a second and then gave her a softer smile.

“Well, we’re close to my room. Come on.” She said.

Thuy looked at her in alarm. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I’m a Kyoshi Warrior after all, so how could I offer anything else?” Suki replied lightly.

Thuy looked down, tugging on her parka.

“I’m not…” She said quietly, her voice fading into nothing.

“But you are.” Suki said firmly, putting her hand on Thuy’s shoulder. As Thuy looked up, Suki gestured with a tilt of her head.

“Come on.” She said. Leading the way, Suki guided Thuy further down the hall and into a room. It was small, as most of the common sleeping quarters were, but it was still well decorated. When they walked in, a vent somewhere in the ceiling clicked on and Thuy felt a cloud of warm air fall down the back of her neck.

“I don’t know how it all stays frozen.” Thuy said.

Suki paused, looking around, and shrugged.

“It must be sea ice. I can’t imagine fresh water holding up this way.” She said.

Thuy stared at one wall, tapping her lip.

“Don’t lick the wall.” Suki said suddenly and Thuy turned quickly.

“I wasn’t!” She blurted and Suki chuckled.

“That’s just the first thing I’d expect Sokka to do.” She replied.

Suki moved around the room and Thuy stood still, watching her. The Kyoshi Warrior was not a very big woman; Thuy was only thirteen and already as tall.

“You know that doesn’t matter.” Kyoshi’s voice rippled up in Thuy’s mind, and she blushed.

“You’re engaged to Sokka, right?” Thuy asked. Suki, stopping at a large wardrobe, nodded.

“Yeah.” She said, sounding wistful, and a smile curled up the corners of her mouth.

“So, do you know Master Katara?” Thuy questioned.

Suki pulled open the doors of the wardrobe and looked over at her.

“Of course. We spent a lot of time together in the war.” She answered. As she leaned into the wardrobe, Thuy looked down, tugging on her parka again.

“Does she hate me?” Thuy asked.

Suki didn’t reply, but Thuy kept her eyes down. She heard the wardrobe shut and felt the air sway as Suki walked back over.

“She doesn’t hate you.” Suki said.

Thuy looked up and saw Suki holding a bunch of green fabric.

“What’s that?” Thuy asked, scrutinizing the fabric.

“They’re your robes.” Suki said, shaking her arms out to get Thuy to take them.

“My robes?” Thuy, stunned, took the robes automatically. They were heavy and Thuy took in a sharp breath.

“There was supposed to be a whole thing.” Suki said, waving a hand dismissively. “But that’s not how we do things.”

“But I haven’t trained!” Thuy said in a panicked rush.

“You are Avatar Kyoshi, so they’re yours by right. If you want to train, I would be happy to make you, Thuy, a Kyoshi Warrior.” Suki replied.

“But I’m.” Thuy choked on her words, gripping the robes tightly. It was too much, and she started to cry.

Suki looked sad as she sighed.

“I know I’m going to say the wrong thing because I’ve never, you know, dealt with something like this before.” She started as Thuy sat down, burying her face in the robes.

Crouching down, Suki put her hand on Thuy’s back, lightly rubbing the space between her shuddering shoulders.

“The Warriors are traditionally a sisterhood, yes, but anybody can wear the robes and wield the fans.” Suki said.

Thuy’s heart broke in her chest and she cried harder. Still, as Suki sat down and gathered Thuy in her arms, she leaned into the embrace.

“But that’s not what I’m trying to say. The point is, the robes don’t care about the shape of the body. You are a woman. You belong in the sisterhood exactly as you are.” Suki continued.

Thuy’s crying lessened, but she remained curled against Suki’s side.

“Is that why you think Katara hates you?” Suki inquired gently.

Thuy shook her head. Taking a deep breath, she slowed her shuddering lungs and pulled away. Unfurling herself, Thuy laid out the robes across her legs before pressing her chilled hands against her hot, puffy face.

“Not a lot of people know that I’m…” Thuy fought against the tightness in her throat. “Trans.”

“I only figured it out because of your animal companion.” Suki said.

Confused, Thuy only looked at Suki, who shrugged before leaning back on her hands.

“Avatar Aang’s companion was a male Sky Bison. Roku’s dragon was male. Kyoshi’s was female. Kuruk’s was male. Yangchen’s was female. Yadda yadda.” Suki said, looking up at the ice ceiling.

“Not a lot of people know that Mister Whiskers is a girl.” Thuy said.

“The girls are smaller and have an even number of spine ridges.”

“How do you know that?”

“I took a single zoology class at a community college once.”

Thuy laughed as Suki rolled her head over to look at her.

“Let’s get you dressed and you can tell me why you think why Katara hates you.” She said.

Thuy looked up in alarm as Suki stood.

“Now?”

“Why not? You’ve got time to kill before your next event.”

Suki helped Thuy disrobe; she simply wasn’t used to all the layers and buttons of the arctic clothing. Seemingly more at ease with it, Suki made quick work of it all. As the cold air hit her skin, Thuy went silent, but Suki didn’t even flinch with curiosity. She only spun out the wide fabric before wrapping Thuy in the heavy expanse of emerald green.

“When you’re all done growing, you might actually fit in Kyoshi’s robes.” Suki remarked as she tied everything up.

“Is that even allowed?” Thuy asked.

“Sure. It’s just cloth. It’s going to rot away at some point anyway, might as well get the Avatar to wear it again.”

“Did Aang not?”

Suki shook her head, focusing on a smaller tie.

“I don’t think he ever wore anything other than his robes.” She answered.

Thuy went quiet as she thought. This was the first time she had actually spoken with the captain of the Kyoshi Warriors and she had already started crying. But then again, it felt like she had known the Warriors all of her life.

“Kyoshi thinks you’re a good leader.” Thuy said.

The robe slackened as Suki lost her hold on the fabric and Thuy winced.

“You talk to her?” Suki asked, her voice muted.

“I can talk to all of them, but it’s easier to speak with Aang since he was right before me.” Thuy said.

“Well. That certainly isn’t daunting.” Suki said with a laugh, finishing her ties.

“A lot of them are nice. Except Kuruk.” Thuy added with a growl in her tone.

“Really? I would have thought-”

“He’s an asshole.” Thuy interrupted.

Suki snorted and moved to the wardrobe.

“Not surprising. I mean, have you talked to some of the people around here?” She asked.

“Sokka and Master Katara are different.” Thuy said.

“Well, they’re from the South Pole.” Suki replied.

“Can you tell me about them?” Thuy questioned.

Suki turned, holding a wooden box, and smiled.

“I’ll be doing your makeup so you won’t be able to talk. I guess I can keep you entertained.” She replied and walked back.

Thuy noticed how Suki moved and was struck by it. For how small and physically feminine Suki was, she still moved with strong, sure steps. She walked like a man that had been trained to move delicately.

Kyoshi had spoken of course about her training. How her mother’s fans had ended up in a man’s hands. How her large feet had traced their own steps through her mother’s faded footprints. There was masculine and feminine in everything a Kyoshi Warrior did. Life was a woman’s gift, and death was a man’s burden, but a Kyoshi Warrior stood as a protector and a fighter. They wore robes like a scholar with their faces painted like the finest courtly dancers that had brushed her father's face. They were never just one thing, because a Warrior had to become one made of many.

Suki gestured for Thuy to kneel on one of the floor cushions and she did so while Suki unpacked the wooden box on a low table.

“I’ll tell you the story of how we first met.” She said, bringing over ancient clay pots and brushes.

~

Suki held her basket low at her hip as she casually looked over the meager items at the stall. From the corner of her eye she marked three other Warriors taking their positions at other stalls. They had been watching this dock for weeks, waiting for the right moment to take one of the ships, but nothing had come in.

The colony here was established purely to support the blockade. It dealt in fuel and rations, not bothering to create anything more human for the inhabitants. A single bar and pavilion served as cultural entertainment, but they were mostly utilized to numb the sailors and broadcast imperial propaganda.

Then they got word that a ship was pulling in to transport prisoners. Two blockade runners, nothing new. A few of those trickled in every season, or so the colonists said.

Hopefully the banality meant that it was a lightly armed ship that was mooring.

But as the figures descended the gangplank, Suki froze.

Water Tribe, their parkas reminding her painfully of home. A young man and woman, close to her own age. Both of them beautiful in their absolute rage.

“Aw, poor things. Probably starving and trying to find some food.” The woman behind the stall remarked.

“The rats should be used to the ice.” A man said, making Suki frown. “They should know better than to mess with the imperial ships.”

“Hush! They’re probably orphans.” The woman remarked sharply.

“And? I heard they leave their babes on the ice to hunt like animals.” The man replied.

“Just this today.” Suki said, taking the woman’s attention as she handed over a couple of coins.

“Thank you dearie.” The woman replied and Suki waved before walking off.

She had to get on that ship.

There was not a lot of cover for the Warriors to hide in around the town. Fire Nation policy was to raze the surrounding area and fortify it, leaving nothing to chance. Outside of the rusting metal walls were the sparse grazing grounds and rocky farms. She and a small clutch of Warriors were sleeping in a barn while the others were further away from the guarded perimeter.

This port was sloppy, which is why Suki had picked it, but it was sloppy because it was difficult to move unseen.

“The captain is staying in town for a few days. He expects summons from the governor.” Ji-won said as Suki sat back in a hay pile.

“And why does he think that?” She asked.

“One of the prisoners he brought in is a Waterbender.” Ji-won said. The other women stilled, their surprise registering quietly in their minds.

Suki frowned.

“The Avatar?” She asked.

“He’s saying so.” Ji-won answered.

“Probably why they’re still alive.” Song interjected.

“Suki, we can’t let them take the Avatar.” Ji-won pressed.

Suki frowned harder but didn’t reply.

“Suki.” Ji-won said and Suki glared at her.

“I know.” She snapped. Then, with a sigh, she rubbed her eyes. “We just don’t have the fans for a full assault.”

“But the Avatar can help us.” Ji-won said, her voice breathy with anticipation.

“We don’t know if the Bender is the Avatar. They could just be a Waterbender.” Suki said, looking pointedly at every woman there.

“But there’s a chance.” Song said softly.

“Avatar Aang died only a few years ago. The Avatar would only be a child, and even the girl looked at least my age.” Suki pointed out.

“If that was Avatar Aang.” Ji-won started and Suki leaned forward, pointing at her.

“Don’t start with that conspiracy. That’s gotten a lot of people killed.” Suki said sharply.

Ji-won looked away and Suki sighed again.

“More importantly, we can’t let another Waterbender die. It’s our job to keep the balance when the Avatar isn’t around.” She went on.

It was an oath they all took. By taking on Kyoshi’s name, by becoming her when they wore the uniform, they swore to uphold her responsibilities as the Avatar. Even lacking any bending ability, they worked to protect the balance as Kyoshi.

“So we rescue them?” Song asked.

“Yes. And we have to move tonight. We don’t know what they’re going to do to them.” Suki said.

“I’ll send a message to the others.” Ji-won said.

“Alright ladies, finish eating then suit up.” Suki said, looking around. “We have a ship to take.”

Knowing that they weren’t going to be leaving through the gate, the Kyoshi Warriors didn’t need to deal much with stealth. The moon was shrouded in clouds and only their white faces barely caught in flood lights lining the wall. The guardhouse on the northern side was lightly manned, so Suki went in and dispatched the few men sleeping inside.

Weeks of observation told her what she needed. What keycards could open doors and which locks could be cut with a fan. The reliance on technology only went so far when the intruders were ready for a fight. Alarms were tripped, but military protocol would be followed. The Fire Nation was nothing if not thorough.

Heading south, the Kyoshi Warriors darted through residential lanes and alleys. A curfew meant they didn’t need to hide from a crowd, but it did mean that the streets were monitored.

Still, it was a cloudy night and this was a sloppy port.

The actual jail was a bit trickier. Suki didn’t have a layout of the building, having made it a point not to get arrested.

But all she had to do was get in.

All of the windows of the low building were barred and there were only two doors. The back was sealed off; the only latch being on the interior side.

Taking their positions across the street, hiding in the padded shadows, Suki examined the front door. The one small window at the front was illuminated with bright fluorescent light. There was nothing to signal that anyone knew about the dead guards in the north, or that they were leaving to attend to it.

“I need a bucket of water.” Suki said. A Warrior disappeared without a word and the others waited.

“We push our way in and get the water as far back as possible. There should only be holding cells, and if we get the water to the Bender, we might be able to do this.” Suki explained.

“Wouldn’t there be the plumbing?” A Warrior asked.

“We should assume they’ve turned off the water.” Suki replied.

The sound of sloshing water came up to her side and Suki took a deep breath.

“Go.” She said.

And they went.

Front door was a bottleneck and Suki went first. Fans blocked the first assault of fire but the guns were certainly next. One fan left her hand and caught a guard in his neck. Disarming was not an option tonight.

The others broke in behind her, sweeping out to encompass the few in the lobby. A klaxon went off and the lights snapped off, with the low emergency floor lights coming on shortly after. The noise became a metronome and the Warriors pushed forward. The water bucket was tossed like a ball, playing keep away from the armed guards. Suki was able to retrieve her stained fan and she sliced open the lock to the back room.

It was a small building and they quickly filled the space. Three holding cells were simple spaces walled with bars.

And the water bucket when tumbling end over end toward them.

Immediately, Suki watched as the young woman gathered the water in her arms like so much washing. A thick whip lashed out at the bars and pieces slid slowly before clattering to the floor.

Ice made quick work of the fight, but then the pair disappeared through the backdoor.

“Don’t lose them!” Suki called out and the Warriors darted out the back door after them.

Marking the wounded, Suki sent them out toward the ship, to watch it and keep it from leaving. Then she went after the Water Tribals.

“Katara, you don’t know where you’re going!” The young man called out in the darkness.

Suki seized on that, running faster to close the distance.

“Please! Let us help!” She yelled recklessly into the darkness.

“Katara, stop!” The young man demanded.

The Waterbender stopped, turning sharply and pulling up a wall of ice spikes, pointed directly at the pursuing Kyoshi Warriors.

“We’re on your side!” Suki said as she pulled up short, skidding on the broken concrete alley.

“Why did you help us?” The young woman, Katara, asked.

“We’re the Kyoshi Warriors, that’s what we’re supposed to do.” Suki said.

“I don’t know what that is.” Katara retorted. “How do I know you’re not one of them?”

“Suki, there’s activity at the harbor.” Ji-won said. “We have to go.”

“Come with us.” Suki pleaded. “We’re taking a ship to fight.”

Katara looked at her companion and he nodded.

“Fine.” Katara said, melting the ice back into water and pulling it around her hands. “Let’s go.”

Having a Waterbender at a harbor proved useful and they took the ship easily. They only had to sail it up a short way to gather the rest of the Warriors before heading into the open sea. As soon as the port left their vision, Katara collapsed on the deck. The young man, who turned out to be her brother, laid her head in his lap.

“Is she?” Suki started cautiously.

“She’s exhausted.” The brother said and then looked up. “I’m Sokka.”

“Suki.”

“Thanks for rescuing us Suki.” Sokka said, turning back to Katara and brushing her hair out of her face. The gesture warmed Suki’s heart and she turned away.

“Of course.” Suki replied curtly.

“Katara is thankful too. She’ll be better in the morning.” Sokka said.

“It must’ve been hard.” Suki commented.

“You have no idea.” Sokka murmured. Something in his tone kept Suki from replying and she only watched them for a moment. Turning away, she went to find the captain’s quarters.

~

“We traveled with them for a few weeks and then separated when we went to go join the Earth Kingdom army.” Suki concluded.

“When did you fall in love with Sokka?” Thuy asked. Suki chuckled as she packed up the box.

“Aren’t you a romantic?” She quipped and Thuy smiled sheepishly.

“Let’s see, I knew I was in love when we were in the Fire Nation. Katara was so different after the North Pole and she hated the Fire Nation, but Sokka was trying to find something human in it all. None of us were happy when he went off with Piandao for training, especially Katara, but it made me realize that there was going to be a life after the war. And I wanted my life to be with him.” Suki explained.

“So will Katara like me eventually?” Thuy asked.

“I think she’ll like you a lot sooner than eventually.” Suki turned and examined her handiwork, nodding with a proud smile.

“I’m going to grab a camera, hold on.” She said and, before Thuy could reply, bolted out of the room.

Thuy sputtered as the door shut and she was alone. Now she really regretted leaving Mister Whiskers back in the heated nest.

“How does it feel?” Kyoshi asked so suddenly that Thuy jumped.

“Heavy.” Thuy remarked and Kyoshi laughed.

“The new recruits often said the same thing.” She said.

“I like Suki.” Thuy said, changing subjects.

“As do I. And she picked a strong partner.” Kyoshi added.

“They all went through a lot.”

“All who serve in war must give everything.”

“And Suki said that the Warriors act in the Avatar’s stead.”

“They do.”

“So what do they need me for?”

“You’re the Avatar.” Kyoshi said matter of factly.

“But what does that even mean anymore? Aang told me about the White Lotus, they don’t even need me for Spirit stuff and I wasn’t needed to end this war!” Thuy balked.

“There will be challenges only the Avatar can face.” Kyoshi stated.

“Or they just get eaten by Spirits.” Thuy muttered.

Kyoshi was silent and Thuy winced.

“Sorry.” She said.

“Yun was a good man, and didn’t deserve Jianzhu’s treachery. Nor did Kuruk deserve his fate.” Kyoshi said evenly.

“He mocked the Spirits!” Thuy retorted.

“If you believe someone can ever do something to deserve ill treatment, does that mean you deserve yours?” Kyoshi asked.

“What?”

“When you begin to believe that all people deserve to be treated well, you will have to face that that includes you.”

“I-” Thuy started but was interrupted as the door opened again.

“Hey Suki.” Sokka greeted as he stepped into the room, pushing the door shut with his foot.

“Actually-” Thuy started, trying to rise but catching herself on the robes.

Sokka’s eyes widened briefly before he threw himself down on the floor cushions next to her.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize anybody had to be in uniform for this.” He said.

“Er.” Thuy stammered, sitting back down and looking away.

“Song?” Sokka asked.

Thuy faced him, confused.

“Shoot. I know you all do your makeup differently, but your’s looks just like Suki’s.” Sokka propped his head up as he laid on his side, tilting his head to examine her face. “But like, a reflection or something.”

“She…” Thuy looked down and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Did my makeup.”

“Oh you’re one of the new warriors!” Sokka pushed himself up quickly.

“I’m not-” Thuy held up her hands in alarm but Sokka made a dismissive sound and waved her away.

“Sorry about barging in here. I was just looking for Suki; do you know where she is?” He asked.

“She went to get a camera.” Thuy said softly.

“Oh wow! Is this your first time all done up?” Sokka asked and clapped as Thuy nodded.

“Congratulations!” He said enthusiastically and Thuy felt her cheeks burn.

“Are you excited about meeting the Avatar?” He asked.

“I really wanted to meet Master Katara.” Thuy said.

“Her? Why?” Sokka asked incredulously.

Thuy held her hands together and leaned forward excitedly.

“Master Katara is the most amazing Waterbender in our history! She saved the world. Well,” Thuy caught herself and sat back. “So did you.”

“Are you a Water Tribal?” Sokka asked curiously. Thuy shook her head vigorously.

“I’m from the Swamp.” She said.

“Oh, so you probably already know the Avatar.”

“We’re, acquainted.”

“Well my sister is pretty great, but she’s also a massive grump.”

“No!” Thuy said sharply and Sokka’s eyes widened. “Master Katara is an amazing warrior and I’m sure she’s just very serious.”

“Serious?” Sokka laughed and Thuy frowned in confusion.

“Katara can’t let herself enjoy anything or else she would implode.” Sokka stated. As Thuy deflated, Sokka sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I don’t want to tarnish your idea of her or anything, but Katara despises hero worship. Neither of us wanted to be heroes.” Sokka explained, holding the back of his neck and looking off in some distant memory.

“She’s really kind, though. When we lost our mother, I thought she’d never be happy again.” He went on.

“If the Avatar had shown up earlier-” Thuy stopped as Sokka scoffed. He reclined again, idly scratching his leg.

“And what? We toss a toddler at the Fire Lord? You seem to be around the same age as the Avatar and I still wouldn’t let you get within sight of that creep.” He said and finished quickly. “No offense.”

Thuy remembered her meeting with the Fire Lord and shuddered. She did not like him, or his daughter. But at least Zuko was polite.

“See?” Sokka said. “Katara wants to blame the Avatar because it’s easy. She doesn’t want to meet her because she knows when she does, the Avatar will be real and she’ll know it wasn’t her fault.”

“Maybe she’s right.” Thuy said.

“Come on know, aren’t you two kin? That’s no way to talk about the Avatar. I think she’s a nice girl.” Sokka said and Thuy lowered her head.

“So will Master Katara meet with,” Thuy cut off her words. “With the Avatar?”

“We’ve got dinner tonight don’t we?” Sokka asked and Thuy looked up.

“Katara doesn’t have it in her to hate good people. Especially not other Waterbenders. I think once they start talking, it’ll be fine.” He said.

“What would Master Katara even talk about?” Thuy asked nervously.

Sokka shrugged. “Probably Zuko.”

“They do go off together a lot.” Thuy remarked.

“That’s what girls do with their boyfriends.” Sokka said.

“What do girls do with their boyfriends?” Suki asked and Thuy leaned back.

“Disappear for some diplomatic briefing.” Sokka answered.

“Oh, are we talking about your sister and Zuko?” Suki questioned, sounding giddy as she sat down next to Thuy.

“Who else?” Sokka quipped.

“Who knew the Avatar was a gossip?” Suki elbowed Thuy and she felt a jolt of fear. Sokka only smiled, winking casually at her.

“Avatar Thuy was trying to argue that Katara wasn’t a grump.” He said. Thuy relaxed and felt tears sprout in her eyes.

“Oh she totally is. That’s why she and Zuko work so well.” Suki said.

“Zuko is not a grump, he’s refined.” Sokka countered.

“Zuko is a little bitch.” Another voice said from the door and Thuy shrank. Seeing Rohan, she tried to calm down.

“Hey, that’s the Avatar’s great-grandson or something.” Sokka said and Rohan rolled their eyes.

Roku, from somewhere deep in Thuy’s mind, grumbled.

“Is there something you need Rohan?” Suki asked.

“I wanted to see if Thuy was up for some ice shenanigans.” Rohan asked.

“Let me take a picture really quick.” Suki said, holding up a fancy camera.

“Allow me.” Rohan said, swirling their hand. The camera lifted and Suki shook her head, but still smiled.

“Okay, everyone get together.” Rohan said. Sokka and Suki got up and pushed themselves over to flank Thuy. Rohan set up the camera and then left it floating in the air.

Darting forward, the Airbender laid across all of their laps and the shutter snapped audibly as Thuy burst out laughing.

“Rohan! The camera!” Suki called.

“I got it.” Rohan said, rolling off and holding out their hands. As they and Suki examined the picture, Sokka nudged Thuy with his shoulder.

“Just be happy Thuy.” He whispered. “It’s what we fought for.”

Thuy nodded, smiling.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

[jenniferdiazisatransgirl]

My Journey

Hey everyone, As you will likely know by now I am a trans woman and I live in the UK where lately trans people have been under significant scrutiny by the press, government and groups claiming to be acting in the name of feminism.

One of the arguments used when not directly attacking trans people, is that the medical institutions that help us in the UK fast track us through transition, even the NHS and I know so many trans people in this country that I can say without a shadow of a doubt this is not true. This includes a significant number who have been under the care of Tavistock and Portman, the under 18s service which was recently banned from giving its patients hormone blockers without the approval of the courts.

But anyway, I’m gonna share my story and how lengthy the process actually is and I will warn ahead of time this deals with suicidal ideation, gatekeeping, mental health, etc. So proceed with caution. This will also be a long post.

September/October 2008

I can’t remember which month but it was just before my 16th birthday, my Dad encouraged me to go to my GP regarding my gender dysphoria. I lived with my transphobic Mum at the time and had to go behind her back which was terrifying to say the least. I saw a doctor called Dr Moulsher and explained everything I was going through and his response was, “I don’t think the NHS funds any of this.” He was very ignorant on trans issues but it actually fortunately worked out in my favour, I got lucky, I know, but he just wanted me off of his hands.

I explained in Sheffield there was a GIC (gender identity clinic) operated by the NHS known as Porterbrook and he was just like, “Oh right. Well I’m more than happy to refer you but they likely won’t see you till you are 18.”

He asked me some questions, wrote up a detailed report and put in the referral to “get the ball rolling” as he worded it.

I was terrified at the time of the referral letter going to my home address though and he was like, “Well it needs to be sent somewhere.” So he agreed to send it to my grandparents address.

Later That Year

About a month or so later a letter arrived at my grandparents saying I had been accepted onto Porterbrook’s waiting list, explaining it is substantially long, that they wouldn’t be able to see me till I’m 18, etc. Your typical boiler plate stuff. Also as I understand it they don’t typical accept referrals for under 18s so I got lucky there. I remember getting so excited when I got my letter though, that I took it into school to show all of my friends.

Back then it was a requirement that I have a mental health assessment while on the waiting list though. So I returned to Dr Moulsher who I had become rather comfortable with and had made him my regular GP. He made a referral to the local mental health clinic and that was that.

January/February 2009

A letter came in the post asking me to ring to book at appointment at the local mental health clinic. I couldn’t ring from home cos my Mum would overhear and she was spying on me a lot at the time due to really being against the fact I’m trans. My school - which was a Catholic school shockingly enough - had already decided my home environment had become so toxic that I needed removing from my Mum’s care. They would be a process that wouldn’t be completed till June 2010 but yeah, it had got that bad. Anyway, I ended up asking the school receptionist if I could ring on their phone to book the appointment. That was booked for February.

The appointment was a weird one to say the least. The doctor asked me a quite a lot of questions but these are the ones that stuck out.

So with this first one, I am going to preface with that as far as I am aware, I am white and of white ancestry for all the generations I know of. However I do have remarkably curly hair that left to its own devices grows into an afro (or at least what looks like an afro). So the first set of questions that stood out; Dr: What’s your mother’s ethnicity? Me: White British.

Dr: Sorry, did you say Afro-Caribbean? Me: No. White British. Dr: And your father’s ethnicity? Me: White British. Dr: Sorry, was that Afro-Caribbean?

Me: Nope. White British.

Not really sure how you can get Afro-Caribbean and White British verbally mixed up but he seemed very adamant at least one of my parents must be Afro-Caribbean.

He then later goes;

Dr: Do you have a partner?

Me: Yes.

Dr: Are they male or female?

Me: I have a girlfriend.

Dr: Then you can’t be trans. You can’t be trans if you like girls.

Me: What about lesbians?

Dr: That’s beside the point.

Shockingly, in the end he agreed with my GP’s assessment that I am trans but Jesus, as you can probably guess from above that mental health assessment was a minefield of weird.

24th October 2010

In June 2010, I was finally removed from my Mum’s care at the age of 17 and placed in supported housing and on the date about I got a phone call from Porterbrook GIC on my 18th birthday no less, inviting me to my first appointment in November.

22nd June 2012

I legally changed my name and title by deed poll to Miss Lily Nichole Robinson.

22nd October 2012

I’d now been at Porterbrook for almost 2 years, had lots of appointments, most of which repeated the same mundane questions and it had started to feel like nothing was ever going to change. I had become increasingly depressed and suicidal and I had decided that if nothing had changed by my 20th birthday I was going to take my own life. I did not want to enter my 20s still living my life as a man. I didn’t want to lose another year of my life.

I remember this date exactly, not because I marked it in my calendar but because Taylor Swift’s album “Red” came out that morning. Despite everything, I was dancing along to 22 that morning while ironing some clothes, before I headed off to Porterbrook. I didn’t really feel like it mattered, I was going to kill myself 2 days later but I figured what is the harm in going through the motions one last time.

I sat there, trying not to let on how miserable I was, didn’t see the point in letting them in on how I was feeling. Nothing would change.

I remember being asked some really gross questions that day though. I got asked if I masturbated and I just declined answering. When challenged I was just like, “I maybe trans and I may hate that equipment but I’m a human being. I still have sexual urges. What do you think the answer is.”

The appointment though, shockingly ended with them telling me they were going to put me on hormones. I was gonna get my estrogen. It was enough to give me a reason to keep on living.

But just bare in mind how close I got to taking my own life there. 2 days away from my 20th birthday. Also it took almost 2 years for them to say they’d be placing me on hormones.

January/February 2013

In January, I had my bloods taken to get a baseline and I was told about options for storing gametes. I did decide to consider this but in the end it ended up being too costly for me at the time. So in February, on a day it was snowing I got the train and was adamant the snow was not stopping me getting to Porterbrook and I had an appointment with the head clinician, Dr Kevin Wylie.

He oddly listed all the testosterone blocker options to me with side effects and risks and all the estradiol options to me with side effects and risks. In the end I chose Cyproterone Acetate for my blocker and Estradiol Valerate pills for my hormones.

50mg per day of Cyproterone Acetate and 2mg per day of Estradiol Valerate. I was ecstatic and took them both the second I got on the bus 😊

May 2013

Slightly unrelated to the medical process but just 3 months in and my mental health had improved drastically. Since I was removed from my Mum’s care I had become a bit of a shut in. I didn’t have any friends, my anxiety was through the roof, I was insanely depressed and I just avoided everything and everyone, only leaving my house for work. Hormones changed that though, I just felt so much happier and I also remember that Spring just being like really vividly aware of the colours of all the flowers and plant life for like the first time in my life. I actually wanted to go out and social and make friends and there was a local LGBT youth group for 18-25 year olds that I decided to join and I started to have and social life again. And by September 2013 I started university and soon came getting drunk with the LGBT Liberation Group at the various socials. I was happy and finally starting to feel like myself.

2013 - 2016

Porterbrook became very gatekeepy in the final stage of my transition. They didn’t like how I dressed. Apparently girls wear dresses while I preferred jeans, t-shirts and hoodies. I didn’t like wearing make-up. I wasn’t the 1950s image of a girl that Porterbrook seemed to expect. I actually have a trans guy friend who around the same time had been told he couldn’t start on testosterone unless he cut his hair short, cos apparently men don’t have long hair.

It pissed me off to no end because I transitioned to be me, not to be a performance of how the world thinks a woman should be. I refused to give ground on how I dressed, etc but in the end I ended up telling a few white lies to get past the final level of gatekeeping. And I can’t remember most of this dates as they happened while uni was going on in the background. But eventually Porterbrook gave me the go ahead for surgery, about 6 months later I had my second opinion and then I was referred for surgery.

January 2016

I had my pre-surgery assessment at Nuffield Health Brighton and I was told if I wanted I could have my surgery as early as March 2016. Due to university though, this proved a bit too soon and the date was pushed to June 2016.

22nd June 2016

The day before the EU Referendum I had my gender reassignment surgery. I don’t actually remember feeling all that ecstatic after the surgery. There was lot of pain and I was on a lot of drugs. But a friend, Rosie, who I hadn’t seen since high school lived in the area and she was at my bedside when I woke up. I was in hospital a week and had 3 months of recovery ahead of me.

Post Surgery 2016

Having surgery had been great, things finally felt right. My entire body felt right for once but I had tunnel visioned my life towards surgery and put a lot of stuff on the back burner and had some major post-surgery depression so I sort counselling at my university to get through these issues and once that was sorted I felt a lot more stable in myself and like nothing was in my way.

October 2016

I put in my application for my Gender Recognition Certificate only for it to get rejected because they did not like the assessment from Porterbrook GIC and Dr Wylie who wrote the assessments was off on leave. Me and a nurse had to sit down and look through my medical record to find a medical report they might accept and we finally found one. However they wouldn’t say what was wrong with the original which made Porterbrook kinda stumped on what was wrong.

February 2017

I received my Gender Recognition Certificate and my new Birth Certificate.

March 2017

I was discharged from Porterbrook GIC.

For those who are under the impression gender reassignment is a fast process it isn’t, it took me 8 years and 6 months start to finish, from initially seeing my GP at 15 to finally being discharged from Porterbrook GIC at the age of 24. It is a long ass process with a shit tone of gatekeeping and honestly going through the process as it stands isn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy. When I was discharged from Porterbrook GIC in 2017 my first thought was, “I’m free. I’m finally in control of my own life.” As up until that point, I felt I had no autonomy and that my life and happiness was in the hands of doctors. It was miserable.

But there it is.

[yukiobeyme]

Hi there! Just wondering if you could possibly write hcs for trans Beel or trans Satan? But if you can’t that’s fine.

I am supposed to doing my Civil Engineering HW? Yes.

I am coming back from the dead to answer this? Yes.

Can I talk about Trans!Beel and Trans!Satan all day? God Yes. Please ask me more talk to more about LGBTQIA+ and how it fits in Obey Me!

Thank you so much I hope I do this some justice. I am sorry how it got so long, but I got in the groove for this and I just came up with other ideas

Beel has some implied body issues, mention of top surgery and T-shots

So you more or less got Satan’s coming out story, I could have just written it as a fic and it would have probably been shorter and more concise. But I did add other headcanons as well and accidentally hc how Satan got his everyday outfit.

*Also disclaimer: Satan’s hc focus a lot on Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger being a gateway for him figuring out his identity. I have heard of it and seen both good and bad reviews. I recognize that some bad reviews implied that there are possibly inaccurate stereotypes but was a good starting point to introducing Trans Characters to fiction. I have never read it and can not confirm or deny what the reviews say.

Beelzebub:

From a young age he wondered why and how Belphegor were twins when he was a girl.

It caused a distaste in his mouth but more often than not he pushed it away.

 It wasn’t until the Fall; did he finally act on it.

The first time he was called “sir” his heart almost burst out of his chest

 He immediately told a sleepily Belphegor about it, he figured he wouldn’t remember in the morning

 But boy was he wrong, it turns out Belphegor laid awake after Beel told him that. In the morning they talked about it again. Belphie offered his full support.

Belphie became Beel biggest piece in his support system. Like sure a lot of problems, he said maybe a nap or food would help. But it turns out he was right? (Well for the most part) but whenever Beel felt like everyone hated him and judging him, Belphie would wrap him up in the softest blanket in the house and they would take a nap together. Or when Beel seemed to be angry at everything and hated everyone, Belphie pulled him to the kitchen and made his favorite meal.

Randomly one day Belphie asked about how Beel felt about himself. “Like it doesn’t matter if you pass in someone else’s eyes or not, but do you like how you look?”

That’s when Beelz really got into bodybuilding and weightlifting

While he didn’t necessarily come out to the rest of the brothers, but none of them came out as cis so he wasn’t going to go out of his way and come out as trans

“working your legs naturally helps build more testosterone, so does eating eggs,” it was Satan that told him shyly behind a book if Beelz noticed that Satan was eating more eggs and even doing leg exercising he said nothing

Satan and Beel would have random conversations about gender and identity. Most times Belphie sat in on it. Asking questions or making comments.

Before he got top surgery, he would wear full-body binders, he had a standard black and white, but he also had an orange one. Completely confident to wear them by themselves.

 After top surgery, he showed off (as he should)

Takes pride in his body and the work and effort he put into it. To make it his own.

·         T shots doesn’t help with his appetite at all, the horror that went through the house when the avatar of gluttony appetite almost doubled. After a few weeks, it averaged out to be just a little more than pre-T but the brothers none the less both impressed and mortified

Belphie immediately opened his closet to Beel, like Beel occasionally stole clothes before, but this time Belphie made sure that Beel knew whatever he wanted he could take.

Asmo was definitely down to help Beel with shopping, but he turned him down. Favoring to go with Belphie

Faced little backlash, only some sports watchers had problems with it but were quickly shut down. Though even after all these centuries some people still have problems. But Beel has learned to keep his head high but knows he is allowed to be upset and hurt by their words. But he also knows he can go to any of his brothers for comfort and to regroup.

Beelz doesn’t get the same attention and attraction that Satan does, but he doesn’t mind. Though when he sees younger lgbtqia+ looking in awe at him at the gym, he usually swings by to see if they have any questions or need tips.

Okay, wait hear me out… Definitely created a club specifically for lgbtqia+ to have the gym and exercise together. Whether it was leading a class, he has gotten Asmo to lead a few yoga/ meditations or letting them break out into groups and giving them tips on stance or what exercises could build muscles to help them pass. But most importantly teaches/reminds everyone that their body is their own. That no matter what happened to them, their body is theirs. It can look however they want and even if it doesn’t look perfect, it is still is worthy of love and self-care. “The only opinions that matter is your own, it is your body. Claim and make it your own. No one can take it away from you”

Satan offered to let him borrow Parrotfish, Beel isn’t too interested but Belphie wanted to read it to him.

Overall Beel is confident and comfortable with his body and his identity. On his bad days, he knows he has endless support from Belphie and his other brothers.

 Satan:

You know that feeling when something clicks and its that chilling calm that covers your body? Satan was reading a random book, Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger.

First came out to Asmodeus, because Satan knew Asmo would accept him and help him in whatever way Asmo could.

And of course, Satan was nervous because Asmo couldn’t go to the others not yet. Satan planned it out that Lucifer was on Earth and expected to be there for a week, so Satan had time to execute his plan.

Asmo was worried when Satan came to him all serious. Well, Satan is always serious but this time the nervousness and lack of confidence made Asmodeus sit still and hold his breath. Asmodeus was attentive as Satan slowly stumbled through his prepared speech, which mainly focused on talking about the book he had just finished.

 Asmo didn’t understand until he saw how heartbroken and lost Satan looked. He was frantic in a sense and blurted out something along the lines of, “So, you wish you were a parrotfish?” while it wasn’t necessarily the best thing to say, the laugh it go out of Satan and the uncertainty in his smile was worth it.

Asmodeus took it upon himself to go shopping for Satan, getting him new more masculine clothes.

It was Levi that got Satan’s his first Binder, “A lot of cosplayers wear them, so you should be okay for some light exercising in it”

Soon all the brothers, well except Lucifer knew and the day Lucifer came back, Satan hid and avoided him.

Satan should have known better, but he was still surprised when Lucifer summoned for him

He was terrified.

When he entered the room, he couldn’t meet Lucifer’s eyes. But when he spared the glance, he saw the disappointment in Lucifer’s eye. Satan tried to swallow around the lump in his throat and ignore the burning in his eyes.

“What are you wearing?” Not exactly what Satan thought Lucifer was going to say first. “Was it Asmodeus?” “Ugh” Lucifer shook his head and strolled to his closet and threw the door open and went searching for something. “Ah, there it is,” Lucifer returned with a yellow sweater. “This would be more suiting for you,” Lucifer offered the sweater to Satan.

“You aren’t mad?”

“The only thing I’m relatively mad at is how offensive that outfit is,”

“I might have shoes too, but they might be a little big on you,”

Satan left wearing his new sweater and shoes on, laughing how he had to keep a black undershirt on, and the shoes flopped due to being too big. But he left with a lot of weight off his shoulders and high in spirits.

That sweater is the famous one you still see him wear today. He wonders why Lucifer would have such a bright color and when he asked Lucifer just made a face and rolled his eyes as he replied with “Asmodeus thought I needed to brighten my wardrobe.”

 Satan loves it, its soft and bright. It’s a little too low cut for his liking but an undershirt fixed that problem. And it doesn’t hug his chest and honestly, it’s his favorite piece of clothing

 Parrotfish is a permanent book in his room and he reads it once a year. And has special scenes marked, so he can go back and read certain passages when needed

Once Satan came out to Barbatos and Diavolo they both requested to read the book and met with him for tea to talk about the book and life.

Lucifer even snagged the book for a bit. (He tried to be sneaky about it and Satan pretended not to notice)

 Asmodeus and Mammon is chaotic with their support, it nice and needed but can also be overboard but he knows they do it out of love. Pride is a huge thing at the house and Asmo decided to do a gender reveal party for Satan

Beelzebub, Belphegor and Levi are supportive like they are ready to fight anyone who gives Satan any issues about his gender and gender identity, but they are as obnoxious as Asmo and Mammon. They will sit with him, talk to him, or just quietly listen. Most times they can’t offer help and admit they don’t know what to say other then they are here for him and willing to listen to whatever he needs to talk about.

Lucifer is quiet support. At first, Satan thought he didn’t approve but then Lucifer would make a random statement or ask for clarification that made Satan feel comfortable. Lucifer glared at anyone who even thought about giving Satan a weird look.

Satan’s go to binder color is a light grey and most times it just a crop top rather than a full-body one. Though he has an aqua blue one he wears occasionally. (I have a drawing of this somewhere lmao)

Satan tried to give himself his first haircut but Asmo had to come in and fix up the mess and disaster he created. Sure, his hair was way too short for his liking, but it wasn’t long anymore.

Over the years has learned the different meanings behind the looks he gets, whether it’s in disgust or that longing look that demons that aren’t out give him. He somehow occasionally becomes a dad to other trans! Demons. Whether it's long talks or if it's just quick tips that help him through the years.

Ironically enough, Lucifer is his biggest support or the one he relies on the most during days or moments when Satan feels terrible. Because Lucifer won’t be fussing all over him or beat around the bush about it. Sometimes he will state he too busy to talk but will leave and come back with hot tea and Satan’s favorite biscuits. Lucifer sometimes sends him away to grab his homework and they will just work in silence together. While Satan hates to admit how much he appreciates Lucifer for these moments, it helps a lot.

Last one! The first formal after Satan came out, he realized he didn’t have clothes for it. Out of all the styles and outfits he had gotten nothing formal ever came through. His brothers came through though. Asmo couldn’t convince him on any of his extra formal wear so he went around finding pieces that the other brothers weren’t using. Satan was only missing a jacket, but the outfit looked perfect. When he ran into Lucifer, Lucifer brought him to his room and offered him one of his simpler jackets and touch him how to pin it to tailor the sleeves to a better height.