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autumnala · 2 years

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The dog day are over (so you better run)

summary: As Bella prepares for her wedding, she tries desperately to outrun the memory of Jake and that pesky thing tying them inextricably together.

a/n: Inspired by, and composed to the song Dog Days Are Over by Florence + the Machine (linked in case anyone wants to listen while they read, idk)

(Not usually one to post fanfic here. But this is where the Jake and Bella brain worm truly took me over again, so it seems only appropriate. Much love to all the intrepid Jake and Bells shippers out there. )

———

Jacob where have you run off to?

“What do you think of this one? Bella? Bella?”

I pulled my eyes back to Alice guiltily. She was holding up a mass of pale blue and greens and whites.

“Um flowers?”

“For the bouquet?” Alice laughs and it tinkled, lifting my heart like a hymnal.

“Um… I always liked…” Dark green like the forest, sage like the succulents in Arizona, red like the dirt there, red like his fur. Yellow as the sun…

“These will go so well with the wedding colors. You’ve always looked so great in blue.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

I’m focusing everything I can on the wedding now.

I never even wanted a wedding. But it’s what I have to focus on.

In that beautiful meadow, that perfect dream, it felt so right. I would bind myself in every way possible to Edward, because there was nothing else I could do. Our love story is fate, it’s inescapable. It’s destiny.

But now I see Jacob everywhere.

He’s running alongside my old truck, which Edward’s going to replace any day now, as I trundle along the highway.

His long, beautiful hair is disappearing around every corner just at the edge of my sight.

I’m so tired of telling you good-bye.

I love him too much - even if it wasn’t enough.

I let that string tying our two hearts together pull too tight. And now every night I’m running after him in my dreams. I wake up tired.

I can’t hold onto that though. That echoing of emotion and sense of being kindred. I just can’t let it go either. The thought of that thread breaking terrifies me in a way I cannot quite understand.

But Edward is everything. He’s the gravitational force of my life. He’s in my veins and I need him. If nothing else, I’ve learned that, haven’t I?

He’s taken me into his world, his fairytale forever.

How could I ever be sufficiently grateful for the miracle of him choosing me?

It’s all over, with Jacob, with the wolves, with walks on that grey beach, and that shabby- warm house by the sea.

Sometimes, when I’m running in my dreams, I run straight into the sea.

And Edward’s beautiful face is still in front of me, and I’m freezing and sinking.

But I remember now, too. It has to be more than a dream, because I can feel the rightness of it in my bones. Like sunlight.

Jacob’s warm hand, grasping mine. Pulling me upwards into the light. Pushing air back into my lungs.

As easy as breathing.

The dress Alice picks for me is the whitest white I’ve ever seen. Simple, which I like. Clean lines, form fitting. Fashionable, I assume. It doesn’t look like something I would choose at all. But it looks like a good dress for the kind of person Edward should marry.

Edward doesn’t come along with us on the wedding errands, on Alice’s orders, of course. And because that’s the tradition. He wants the magic of this our (first) wedding. For me, of course. I’ll appreciate it later, I know.

Jacob would have gone dress shopping with you, a traitorous voice whispers to me while I’m flipping the idly through a magazine with a hundred glossy photos of wedding things that all blur together. He would have laughed at all the ruffles you hated and told you to get something comfortable. He’d know-

I turn a page sharply, glancing as each car passes by down the street. My cereal is turning to mush next to my magazine.

What am I looking for again?

Oh, right. Hair styles. Charlie hears me sigh and I can feel him looking at me for a long moment.

We had our longest argument ever when I told him I was getting married to Edward.

Now he doesn’t say anything, but I feel him watching me as I try to project happiness.

Edward is everything I want. He’s perfect.

Jacob is in the past.

Edward is kind and understanding. Only he hates my truck, and he’s baffled when I don’t want to listen to music, even his. He wishes I’d let him replace the truck, and all my shabby things with better ones. I should appreciate that.

I forgot that it was Jacob who always knew how I worked without me telling him. Who knew things I never told anyone. I never knew how that would feel (like coming home after a long day).

But Edward loves how I always surprise him, how he doesn’t know what I’m thinking. I’m a mystery to him. The only one in the whole world. A miracle. I’ve never been a miracle before. It seems important.

Will I still be a mystery when I’m not human anymore? If he heard my thoughts, would they live up to the me that he loves?

I’m so so happy, so ready to be perfected. Finally, Edward and I will be on equal footing.

He kisses me so chastely and so sweetly - like I might shatter. And I can feel that feeling, sinking into my bones. I feel fragile and delicate and quiet now.

I glance up quickly when I hear a boisterous laugh in the market, then glance to where Edward’s face is tilted, as he looks at me, just ever so slightly, his expression mild and tender. I can feel my face flushing and a thousand expressions battling on my face. He shakes his head lightly, and guilt flashes through me.

Not Jacob. Did he know I hoped it might be Jacob, just for a second?

How can I stop looking for him though?

He’s everywhere. Around every corner. Every growl of an engine.

He’s every sunrise.

But as long as I keep moving I can forget that he’s gone. I’m moving into the future. With Edward. My perfect forever.

And Jacob and that cozy, ramshackle garage, and warm sodas, and motorcycles, and jokes about getting old are in the past. They have to be.

I’ll run so far and so fast as a vampire that that cord will surely break.

It’s what I should want, of course.

But the thought fills me with dread.

Until your heart stops beating.

“Bella? Bella?” Alice’s voice trills, exasperated.

I realize I am running my finger slowly over the little carved wolf hanging from my wrist. Petting it.

When I open my eyes, light reflecting off the diamond heart blinds me for a second.

“Sorry,” I say. My finger hasn’t moved from the little wooden figure.

I look up and Alice looks concerned, confused, hopeful. She’s only trying to help. I wish I could forget, like her. Forget my human life, forget everything but the perfect, sparkling future.

Rosalie is looking at me too, with pity. I can’t hold her eyes.

I could never be sufficiently grateful to Edward for him choosing me. I could never choose him enough to make up for everything he went through for me.

For the miracle of snatching him back when it seemed hopeless.

Vampires don’t sleep, so soon I won’t have to worry about dreaming anyway.

I wake up gasping, again, and I know immediately that Edward is there.

But he’s not the one I am chasing after in my dreams.

Despite myself I think of the spring, when I told Jacob we could run away together.

Just the two of us, driving toward the sun.

I could have saved him, my Jacob.

One day he won’t be your Jacob anymore.

I can’t bear that thought; I just can’t.

“Bella,” Edward says, still the most beautiful voice in existence, a pleasant, intoxicating anesthetic. “Why are you crying?”

I didn’t notice I was, but it’s true. Soft round teardrops are dropping onto my bedspread.

“I don’t know,” I tell him, honestly. What else can I say?

He comes to my bedside and crouches down, pushing my sleep mussed hair back from my face.

His eyes look dark to me, in my dark room. Despite the darkness, up close he is so beautiful that it makes me feel like my heart will burst, like my brain is short circuiting. I should trust this. Look how he makes (almost) everything disappear.

“Don’t be scared, my love,” he murmurs to me. His hand ghosts across my hair, gentle as a breeze. I wish he would grab me hard enough that I could feel it. Maybe that would wring these feelings from my bones for good. I lean up to kiss his mouth, trying to pull the honeyed sweetness of him into me. He kisses me back, gently and full of love, and for a moment his hands clasp my shoulders more firmly, hard enough that I feel held together. But only for a moment before he is setting me carefully back, breathing just a little harder.

When he’s kissing me everything is clear, it all makes sense, this path I’ve set myself on. My blood rushes in my ears. But when he sets me away it feels like lead is trickling into my heart. Cold molten dragging me down.

And I’ll sink too fast to swim.

Some nights I think about how he isn’t going to come the next time I fall in the dark.

I think it quietly though, hoping Edward thinks I am asleep.

Why did I never know how to love him when he was here?

One night, when Edward is gone hunting, and I can’t quite bring myself to close the window, I hear it.

A howling wolf.

Have they been howling all this time and I just haven’t heard them?

I hold up my bracelet to look at it over my head. There’s barely any moonlight to glint off of the diamond heart and without that dazzling light I look at the little wolf, head tilted back, rough edges smoothed by the stroke of my fingers.

I can see Jacob carving him in my head. His large hands were always so careful and deft, whatever he was handling. It’s a beautiful little wolf. Not flawless and unchanging, but still perfect, even as I imagine how he’ll be worn smooth by the years, how he’ll eventually turn to dust.

I can’t say what I’m thinking next. I’m not thinking anything at all when I get out of bed, throwing on any clothes I can grab.

I look at my truck for a long moment. But no. If I take the truck everyone will know…know something, it will be a decision, so instead I turn the other way and walk into the woods.

There’s no way I can walk far enough.

But I can’t think about that; I can’t decide. I never could. All I have left is this instinct and this yearning I cannot name.

So I run.

I’m not a graceful runner, I’m not fast. But I run and I run and I don’t stop. Even when my chest aches, then screams.

Everytime I hear a wolf howling I turn and run toward the sound.

It’s so dark, with only the moon overhead, and the stars.

I run until I can’t anymore, until I fall, until I see the sun peaking over the edge of the hill ahead.

I smile at that line of sunrise.

My face is wet, with tears and sweat. Probably blood.

I feel like I’ve been scoured, weak and yet relieved as if I’ve emerged from a long fever.

A large shadow looms over me.

It’d be too perfect if it was him, but I laugh up at the sight anyway. It’s Leah and she looks like she wants to bite me. But all I can feel is happiness. Incandescent joy blooming deep in my chest while I lie there laughing weakly into her golden, furry, face.

I shrug at the wolf, what can I say?

I try to stand but collapse. My legs have run as far as they can.

Leah makes a wolfish grumbling sound and sits and watches me. I fall asleep while the sun is rising and don’t dream of anything. Who knows how long.

I can’t quite come fully awake, but I feel warm arms lifting me up. Familiar arms.

I lift my eyelids for the barest moment before the fall again, fluttering against my effort to lift them.

Jacob, backlit by the sun, is more beautiful than I remember. Maybe he always was.

Not like a dream or a vision. He looks like home.

I sigh, eyes still heavy and closed.

Jacob doesn’t say anything at all.

“There you are. I was looking for you, you know.” I tell him weakly.

He snorts.

“Do you know,” I try again, forcing my eyes open to look into his face. My eyes stream at the sight but I don’t blink to clear them. “If I was going to run away with anyone, I think it’d be you too, Jake.” I think about that, watching a stormy dawn break across his face. “Only, not right now. I don’t think I can run anymore right now. Where are we?”

His smile brightens and I feel my tired mouth struggle to tilt up in response. “We’re just across the treaty line. You were looking for me by running, by yourself, at night?”

“It seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

He chokes on a laugh. Or maybe a sob. His hands tighten and then loosen again.

“You’re sure? Really sure? Because dammit Bella, I can’t…”

I think, then, for the first time in hours I search the deepest parts of my mind and heart and everything for an answer.

Inside me, where it was all frantic movement and rushing and fever it is calm now. It’s quiet.

I lean over and kiss his chest, bare of course, and blazingly warm, directly over his heart. I feel like light is filling me up. Pouring into me through this cord nothing I did could ever sever, from his heart to mine. Golden and blazing.

Jacob grins at me then, really grins, and his eyes are shining just for me.

“Until my heart stops beating,” I tell him. He starts to frown but I’m smiling so hard at him it feels like my face will crack. I can see him understand what i’m trying to say. He told me so long ago, but now it’s not an end, not a plea, it’s a promise. A beginning. “Could be a long time. And maybe even longer than that?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah that sounds…it’s enough? You said…”

The sun can’t fight an eclipse he told me. But an eclipse can only hide the sun for so long. It’s the sun that remains in the end.

“It’s enough. More than enough.”

#jacob x bella #bella x jacob #team jacob #jake and bells #otp: as easy as breathing #this is a song fic for ‘dog days are over’ but more in the sense of vibes #inspired by the song #very loose plot with no eclipse/breaking dawn fact checking #fanfiction

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sleepingnova · 2 years

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Estrangement.

the feeling that you do not belong, especially if you are around a group of people.

pairing : sawamura daichi, sugawara koshi, azumane asahi x reader (Poly ship)

summary : With daichi and asahi's birthdays being only a day apart, it seems like both boys have the birthday blues. Reader is a bit on the stoic side, very chill and not very emotional. Both boys are sadge :(

warnings : A bit of swearing, mentions of smoking, familial issues, mentions of being depressed, mentions of being suicidal

genre : angst to fluff (hurt to comfort)

author's note : I thought of this last night, a small scenario that fits perfectly for a specific few headcanons I have for both boys. With that being said, enjoy. btw I rambled, a lot in this. It's long as shit. So for all my readers who love long angst, here you go. *kith* :>

As the clock hits midnight, the stars twinkle above you. The day shifts from the 31st of December to the 1st of January. You had already given your present to Daichi, and now was Asahi's turn. The three of them walked onto the balcony with you. The strong smell of marijuana from your bong could be smelled from your room.

"Hello, my love." The oldest one of the 3 spoke softly. You could tell something was wrong, he sounded like he had a hitch in his throat.

You blew out the smoke from your mouth and inhaled it into your nose.

"Hello, darling boy, happy birthday, my sweet boy. What should we do later today for your birthday? I know, let's go out for lunch, for yours and daichi's birthday. I know we went out yesterday for your birthday, 'mura, but I just like spoiling my sweet partners, is that so wrong?" You rambled on, your words slowing and slurring around just a little because of the marijuana.

You leaned in for a kiss towards Azumane, but was stopped.

"Um, why don't we head inside, it's a little cold. I don't want you to get sick." Asahi spoke, just barely above a whisper.

You nodded and walked back inside your room. Once you sat back down onto your bed, you spoke up.

"Alright, I may be high, but I'm not an idiot. Asahi, you sound and look like you've been crying, 'mura, you too. What's wrong? I'm always here if you need to talk to me, you know." You spoke, placing your lighter and bong on your dresser.

"It's nothing, really sweetheart, we promise, just Dai and I have been having a few issues. We just don't want to bother you with them. We know when you smoke, you aren't in the right mental headspace." Asahi replied.

You sat up and put your things away.

"Well, no not necessarily, sweetheart. I'll always have time to listen to you. Go ahead, tell me what's going on in those pretty minds of yours, both of you. Koshi, you're welcome to vent to me if you would like as well." You explained.

Asahi sighed hesitantly, and began. "When you look at me it's like you don't see me. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, but you've changed so much, so now I feel like I don't know who you are anymore."

He looked around the room, practically at everything but you. Your gaze was set, tears forming in your eyes and your throat closing as he continued, "What happened to you, my love? Where have you gone? I miss the old you, please, if you're in there, I want you back. I need you back. Come back to me, please, darling." His eyes were glossy and filled with tears, until he looked at you while glancing around and was filled with regret.

He never meant to make you cry, he never wished to be the cause of your tears, but there you were. The silence that followed was suffocating, both of your minds racing, you were speechless, had your weed addiction gotten that bad? Could you even call it an addiction?

Sure, it was your mind - numbing thing, you used it every now and then, and everything that happened in that time was mushed around in your brain. What had he seen? Was there more to this than you thought?

You reached towards his hands, but he pulled them away. He slowly reached back to intertwine your hands together. "I need you to tell me what you've been seeing. Please, what have I been doing wrong? Talk to me, don't be scared, you're not going to hurt my feelings by being honest." You were wiping your eyes, your mind was spinning and you felt like throwing up.

His thoughts and mind were racing, his first instinct was to comfort you, to tell you he was sorry and that he loved you. But you said that he should be honest right? He's always honest, but maybe this time he was too honest?

His hand rubbed against the back of his neck as he thought about just giving in. He knew this was best for a relationship to thrive, communication, it's just he didn't think it'd be so... empty of love or warmth. He pondered continuing, but something just told him to keep going, and get it off his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

"I don't know.. I just feel so invisible around you now. Whenever I'm here, I try and be intimate with you and hold your hand and stuff, but you always push me away." He recalled, as he watched and felt the grip of your hand tighten around his.

"You've never shown signs of not liking pda, so what changed? Whenever I talk, I always get the feeling that you're not listening to me. You don't come on dates anymore, either, and it's not just me who's noticed that one." He was bringing up point after point and you didn't know what to do or where to begin to explain that this is all just a big misunderstanding.

"My anxiety is eating me alive right now, and I never want to ask this, ever, and God, I hope it isn't true. Tell me I'm overthinking, please anything. You're all I have left, baby, please don't you leave too." He sobbed, his throat closing and he coughs. After what feels like forever in silence, he begins to speak again.

"I'm just going to ask before I puke, have you ever fallen out of love with us? Has there ever been a time where you stopped loving us? If you have, I understand, but please, I'm begging you, I'll get down on my knees if I have to, please don't leave just yet. I've lost just about everyone and everything, I can't lose you too. Not yet." He sniffled, his heart skipping beats and his breathing heavy and rapid.

His tears fell onto your hands as you looked at him, with your eyes and mouth open in shock. Every heart warming memory replaying in your mind, each one longer than the last. This was it. You had waited for so long, for someone who would love you as an equal, who'd treat you with respect, someone who wouldn't use you, whether that be for your intelligence or body or anything really. You had a grasp on it, and it was...over? No, it can't be over, not after you wasted so much time trying to find it.

Your tears kept falling and your throat kept closing, your silent words falling on deaf ears. After a while of silence, you held your head up to face him. His eyes searched yours for some sort of comfort, some kind of sign, something that told him that this was all a mistake.

Your depression had gotten the best of you, which was why you started smoking in the first place. Just to make life a little easier to bear. It prevented you from going out and being social, from being you. The one Azumane cherished and loved so dearly.

"I- No." You stumbled, not knowing where to start. There was so much you wanted to say, but you never knew how. Your throat started to open up again as you breathed, and with that, you tried to explain to him why you were the way you were.

"I was diagnosed with severe depression a couple months ago, and it hasn't been the best. The antidepressants make things worse and I feel like I am outside my body. I've smoked before, and it felt good, so I thought it was the best option. I didn't realize how much it was hurting you." Your tears were falling, but you decided to get everything out, it was now or never.

"It came to the point where I couldn't get out of bed, I would go days at a time without brushing my teeth or showering. I wasn't just depressed, I was suicidal. I didn't want to go through this everyday. I was put on suicide watch twice in a month. I hated everything part of it, and I wanted to see you guys, I thought that would make me feel better, but I realized I never told you guys." You continued to explain as you saw all of their eyes widen at you in horror and guilt.

You hesitated before continuing, "It made me so sad to see suga posting and texting me pictures of your dates' and all the stuff you guys would do and I wasn't able to be there, much less respond. They'd take my phone while I was there and I couldn't get it back until I left."

You coughed and caught your breath, before speaking again, but sawamura stopped you.

"Babe, stop. You don't need to keep explaining. We are so sorry. We never knew you were going through so much, but please, if something like this happens, tell us please." He desperately whispered, his tears falling down his face as he walked over to you. He sat down and gave you a hug, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, sobbing out apologies.

You felt your heart beating in your stomach, as you ran your fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down. You turned your head over towards asahi, who's mouth was open, but nothing came out.

You shook your head before whispering, "Don't apologize, none of you need to apologize to me. This was my fault. I owe you an apology, asahi." You said before clearing your throat, and resuming.

"My dear asahi, I am so terribly sorry that I kept this from you and led you to this false narrative of myself. I was too lost in my own head to be able to communicate with you about what was going on. I'm so sorry for making you feel invisible or that I didn't love you, I am not using my depression as an excuse, so please don't think I am. I want to be clear when I say this, and I want all three of you to know this: I have never fallen out of love with the three of you, I swear it. I have never thought about it or will in the future." You sniffled as you rambled on but finally concluding your apology.

Azumane and Sawamura looked up at you, their eyes bloodshot and puffy, as they both squeaked out the question, "You promise?"

You replied without a second thought, "Yes, for eternity. I will love all of you until we're old and gray and we look like raisins."

They all chuckled softly, asahi and sugawara coming over to embrace the two of you.

"This has been a lot of back and forth, can we please rest? We can go out for breakfast as an official first date into our renewed relationship." Koshi declared, the two other boys nodding in agreement.

You glanced over at your window, so much time had passed, and the sun was just starting to come up. You looked at your clock, which showed 5:47am.

After staring into the darkness of your room for a couple of minutes, you were brought back by asahi intertwining his hand with yours, but when you looked over, the three boys were all fast asleep, entangled in each other's arms.

After sleeping the day away, you all slowly but surely got up to get ready for your date. You got dressed and freshened up, brushed your teeth all nice and clean. As you looked in the mirror, you couldn't help but stare in shock.

Asahi came up behind you and looked in the mirror with you, a small frown forming on his face.

"What's wrong, my love?" He asked, kissing your cheek.

"Is that me? That's me. Oh my gosh." You sniffled. It had been so long since you actually were excited about dressing up and putting on makeup.

"Yes, darling. It's you and you're so beautiful." He replied, pulling out his phone.

"What're you doing?" You questioned, as you saw him look down at his phone.

"Hm? Oh nothing, just making sure suga and daichi are ready to go. Let's go, shall we?" He asked, holding his hand out.

You smiled, a genuine smile, and he could see your face light up, something it hadn't done in a while, and he just melted seeing how excited you were.

"Daichi? Baby boy, you ready to go?" Azumane called.

"Dai?" He tried again after hearing no response.

"Let me go see what's taking so long." He stated, walking away from you and sugawara.

Daichi was in the bathroom, fixing his shirt collar when he just happened to look into the mirror. Had his face gotten fatter? He looked like he gained a lot of weight. His family was right, he did lose track of himself.

'No, no it's fine. I'm okay, I look fine. But, my face looks so fat and chubby. Who am I kidding? They wouldn't date me! Not like this. Maybe I should just stay-' He was pulled out of his thoughts by Asahi knocking on the door.

"Hey, you okay in there? Do you need any help?" He asked, while walking behind him, his hands sliding down his waist, wrapping around Daichi's hips.

"It's nothing, it's just.. Does this make me look fat? Does my face look chubby? God, I look so ugly, what am I thinking." Daichi muttered, turning his head away in shame.

Asahi's eyes widened, he had never heard Sawamura be so concerned about his looks.

"What? No, babe, you look so handsome. You look perfectly fine. Yeah, your face is a bit chubby, but so is the rest of you, which I love and I wouldn't change one bit." Asahi replied.

"My family was right, I should lose some weight. It doesn't look good." He retorted, dropping his head in regret.

"Baby, listen to me. You said yourself that you prefer being chubby than having an athletic figure. We're going to support you no matter what you want to do. You shouldn't listen to what your family says, they're not always right, ya know?" Asahi responded, cupping Daichi's face in his hands.

Daichi smiled softly, and leaned his head onto Asahi's shoulder. He hummed softly, before standing and kissing Asahi, as a thank you before walking back towards you and Sugawara.

Asahi smiled, and walked over.

"We should take a picture! Something to remember!" Sugawara chimed.

"We all look nice, why not?" You added.

You all went outside and stood in front of your house, the sun shining brightly.

Asahi grabbed his polaroid, and aimed it perfectly.

"Alright, everyone, smile!" He said while hopping into the photo.

The camera clicked and the photo looked perfect. Asahi slipped the photo into his phone case and hopped into the car, along with the three of you, ready to start fresh.

For the first time in a while, you felt good. You felt..happy. You felt like you again, the one that they fell in love with.

They wouldn't have it any other way.

hope you guys enjoy, comment "bee" if you got this far, this was a bit long.

#angst with a happy ending #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu daichi #sugawara koushi #azumane asahi #daisugaasa x reader #:> <3 #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu comfort

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moljh · 2 years

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The Right One

Robin Buckley x Reader

Summary: You have a thing for Robin but you’re not sure if she feels the same way. Robin likes you but is convinced you’re into Steve.

Pure fluff, mutual pining

Unedited - an idea I wanted to get down

You didn't like ice cream all that much, you were more of a chocolate person but somehow you always found yourself buying an ice cream at the end of each shift. You worked at Starcourt mall at The Gap, nothing special but it meant you made some money.

But at the end of each of your shifts, no matter the time, you found yourself walking towards Scoops. You were greeted with the same warm smile as you entered the store.

"How are my favourite people?" you asked, trying not to smile too much

"Well Steve here has been trying and failing to pick up any girl the whole day" Robin informed you, holding up her whiteboard to show her point system

"Don't worry Steve, one day some clueless girl will fall for those tricks"

Steve rolled his eyes at you two "Thanks for the vote of confidence"

You spent a while longer chatting to them, until some more customers came in. Steve quickly got your usual order and passed it over.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked

"Where else would I find a handsome sailor to give me free ice cream?" you smirked

Heading out, you turned around and waved goodbye.

As soon as you left the store Steve smugly turned around to Robin who was stubbornly marking a tally in the 'you rule' column.

"Why don't you ask her out already? She clearly has a thing for you" Robin said

"I dunno, she's not really my type"

"She's nice, pretty and smart enough to make an ass out of you, how is she not your type?"

"If you like her so much why don't you ask her out" Steve quipped, laughing to himself.

Luckily for Robin the service bell was rung in time for Steve to turn back around and miss the slightly panicked look in Robin's eyes as she worried if Steve was being serious. Of course Robin liked y/n but there was no way Steve knew that or anyone else for that matter.

The next day when you went in, it was just Robin in the store, you figured Steve must've been on break or something.

"Hey" you exclaimed a little to excitedly, which you mentally hit yourself for

"Hi" Robin replied

"No Steve?"

"He's coming in a bit later if you want to come back then?"

"No, no, you're perfect"

Robin's heart skipped at beat at y/n's words.

"Guessing it's probably a relief to be rid of him for a bit right?" you laughed

"You have no idea, I think if I hear another one of his pickup lines my brain might turn to mush"

The conversation died after that and you felt like you were going to die as well. Standing right in front of this beautiful girl, you had lost all the words and it was as if you didn't know how to speak. What you didn't realise was that a foot across from you, that same girl was also freaking out about the silence.

"Um... Well, I better go, my shift starts in 5"

"Yeah, I should probably clean the scoopers too"

The entire day you replayed the moment in your head, cringing at how it had gone. You had gone in there planning on asking Robin to the movies or something but had crumbled under the pressure.

You were honestly terrified to ask her, but figured the movies was friendly enough, nothing suspicious about that. Your plan was to try and become her friend and then see how it went from there. This was a small town and you couldn't exactly pull a Steve Harrington and ask out every pretty girl you saw. You had to be much more careful with these things.

You told yourself that after you closed the store that night, you would try again.

However your plan didn't go as anticipated, as when you had walked over to Scoops that night they were already closed. The next day when you had gone in, Robin hadn't been there and again that night, they closed early. You were convinced you had missed your opportunity.

What followed in the next few days definitely hadn't been a part of the plan either. The mall had burnt down overnight.

The following weeks you had been applying for every job there was, but to no avail. After another frustrating day of handing out resumes, you'd decided to give up and grab a movie before heading home.

Walking into the store, you looked around for a while when you heard a familiar voice, "Can I help you with anything? Oh y/n, didn't realise that was you" Robin smiled as you turned to face her

"I didn't know you worked here"

"Oh yeah, Steve and I just started"

"Lucky you found somewhere, everywhere I've looked seems to not be hiring"

"Oh I'm sorry, I'd ask if you wanted to work here but I had to beg them to hire Steve"

"Don't worry, at least I now have an excuse to come by and see my favourite person"

You gently touched Robin's shoulder, your best attempt at testing the waters. From your perspective you were in full gay panic. From Robin's you were moving past her to look at Steve.

Just as you had said, you now frequented the video store quite a bit. You came to know Steve and Robin a lot more and the three of you became a bit of a group.

You all would have movie nights together at Steve's house, since his parents were never home. What you didn't realise was that after each time you hung out, Robin spent the following time trying to convince Steve to ask you out.

And what Steve and Robin didn't know was that on every drive home you analysed every touch, every word that was said between you and the brunette headed girl.

"Soo..." Robin began, fiddling with a loose strand of hair "are we going to talk about it?"

You froze for a second, not sure how to answer that.

"Talk about what?" you tried to laugh off, flicking through the magazine on the counter

"You know... Your little crush on a certain someone" she tried to egg you on

"I don't know what you're on about"

"Seriously? It's so obvious" Robin giggled "A blind person couldn't miss it"

"I...um..."

"Honestly I don't understand why you and Steve haven't just gone out already" she finally said

You looked up so quickly from the magazine that you thought you might've given yourself whiplash "What?" you said in disbelief

"You and Steve" she asserted "I've been trying to set you up for weeks!"

"Um... I don't have a thing for Steve, he's a nice guy but not my type"

The conversation went on like that for what felt like an eternity. You kept trying to convince Robin that you didn't feel that way about Steve but she wouldn't stop.

"Oh my god Robin will you just shut up!" you cried, frustration getting the better of you "I don't have a thing for Steve, I never have!"

"What?" she seemed confused by what you had said "but you're always coming by"

"Why do you think? Huh? Who else could I possibly be there for?"

She just looked at you with a puzzled look across her face.

"It's the same person I always wanted to see at Scoops, who I can never get enough time with, the same person who I go out of my way to see at the video store"

"Yeah, Steve"

"For the last time I haven't been following Steve around because I have a thing for him, I've been following you!"

Your eyes widened as you realised what you had just said.

"Me?" Robin muttered

You nodded and said again, "You"

You took the chance and stepped closer to the brown headed girl in front of you. Your heart pounded as you made the move and planted a chaste kiss on her soft lips.

Stepping back you tried to get a hint from her expression and felt your heart sink as Robin's eyes bore down at the ground. You felt like such an idiot.

Quickly turning you went to go back to you car when you felt a hand grip your wrist and pull you back. An arm snaked around your waist and you were once again pulled into those lips. She tasted like mint gum and Chapstick, you felt yourself melting into it. You hand found it's way into her hair, you'd played with Robin's hair before but this time the movements were filled with desire.

You could feel her hands trailing up and down your back and you gasped slightly as Robin held you tighter. Taking the opportunity you felt her tongue enter your mouth and you felt like this was some sort of dream. You weren't sure how long the two of you stood there, entwined.

Pulling back, you both came up for air and you placed your foreheads against each other. It was silent for a moment, as if both of you wanted to take in what had just happened.

Robin was the first one the say anything "Well I can admit when I am wrong"

You laughed at her words, placing soft kisses along her neck.

"I mean," she began again, clearly the moment of unheard of silence from her was over "I didn't see any of the signs," you tried to shut her up with another kiss but she pulled back after a second "and oh my god, I spent so much time trying to set you up with Steve, which I mean, he's nice and all but obviously this is why you weren't interested in him, how did I not realise that?"

"Robin," you tried to interject, watching her spiral "Robin, Robin" you kept saying, grabbing a hold of her face

"Sorry" she said, eyes wide as she stared at you "I'll be quiet now"

That quiet lasted for all of maybe... 1 minute, before she began rambling again. Between all the frantic words you just giggled at the person you'd fallen for.

"Robin, can you just let me make out with the girl I've been pining over for the past few years?"

"Oh yeah..." she said, forgetting her rambles and nodding frantically "I can definitely do that"

#stranger things #oneshot #robin x reader #robin rambles #robin stranger things #robin buckley #robin x y/n #robin x you #robin fluff #stranger things x you #lgbt #pining #fluff #robin buckley fluff #fanfiction #you x robin #y/n x robin #robin buckley x y/n #stranger things one shot

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brandwhorestarscream · 4 months

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I remember one ask, in which TCe SE meets the twins for the first time after a mission, when they (the jettwins )enter in the bedroom

And I propose: them knowing the twins in the form of them finding the 2 sleeping in Starscream's bed, and having that "leaving a family party only to find a baby/child that you never saw before in your bed" moment

Anon I have no idea what you're talking about in the first paragraph. I have no memory of that ask whatsoever and I'm not entirely sure what character's you're talking about.

And I'll be honest, the idea of finding some stranger in my bed makes me super squeamish. Especially if it's someone's random kid. I'd put em in the hallway and lock my door. Like?? You don't just dirty someone else's sheets without permission. That's weird and gross tbh

That's not the point. What's the point? I'm so lost and tired and my brain is mush. Um. Them just finding 2 babies in Starscream's bed after being gone for awhile would definitely have anyone rubbing their optics and then coming him in concern like. "Uhhhh. Hey. Starscream. Are you aware there's a couple toddlers sleeping in here? You are? OK. Cool. Cool. Follow up question. WHERE THE FRAG DID THEY COME FROM?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAD BABIES WHILE I WAS AWAY?! I WAS ONLY GONE FOR A WEEK!!!!!!"

#trine shenanigans #im so tired guys and lowkey want to throw myself off the edge of the flst earth loool

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radiant-reid · 3 years

Text

I’m Watching

Summary: Requested here. Spencer and Y/n come so close to becoming a couple, but someone else gets in the way

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader ( angst then fluff )

Content Warning: swearing | spoilers for 1x18 Somebody’s watching

Word Count: 3.9k

Masterlist

Dating was never in Y/n's plan when she joined the BAU. She was a career-driven 25-year-old with the intent to become the director of the FBI.

Somehow, a lanky, adorable 24-year-old attracted her attention. Spencer Reid was something she never expected to encounter. He was cute, shy, surprisingly funny, and remarkably smart.

He'd let her get her coffee before he got his own cup, he held doors open for her, and he nervously would ask if she was okay after any rough cases. Maybe it was because of how different he was from her usual type that she developed a crush on him. With every sweet gesture, her crush grew.

It very rapidly went from a trivial, childish crush to absolute infatuation. However, Spencer had always been oblivious to her feelings.

So, she thought it better to make her affections completely known.

"Is that a new tie, Reid?" Y/n asked as she slid next to Spencer at the kitchen bench near the coffee pot.

She was too close for him to feel comfortable. His breathing got shakier, heat rate raced, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be sick or faint.

Still, he turned to look at her, trying to avoid making eye contact. "Um, n-no. I just, uh, haven't worn it, um, i-in a while." He stuttered out his response before clearing his throat.

Y/n took it a step further, picking up his tie and twirling the plaid fabric around in her fingers. "I like it on you." She told him with a little smirk, watching as he heavily swallowed. "You look good in anything, though, Reid." She flirted, waiting to see him blush bright red. All she could think about was the things she wanted to do to him.

Spencer took a step backward, noticing how Y/n was edging closer to him. "Uh, um, th-thank you." He replied apprehensively. His brain had completely gone to mush, unable to process her words or dangerous eyes boring into him.

When she'd looked at him for just long enough, she dropped his tie, patting his chest once before stepping back. "See you around, Reid." She farewelled, waving to him and then leaving the room.

Spencer was left there, trying to regulate his heart rate and breathe normally.

The jet often got cold, especially in winter at night. Y/n always took the window seat next to Spencer. The truth was, she enjoyed his company more than she enjoyed making him squirm, but it was still amusing. Morgan, and everyone else on the team, teased him, so it was only fair she got to as well.

"Reid, my hands are freezing," Y/n complained, holding her fingers against his cheek. They warmed slightly under his blush.

"They are, um, cold." He replied simply. In his brain, he was thinking about all the medical issues or vitamin deficiencies she could have. But none of the words left his mouth.

Y/n pulled her hands back, placing them on the table. "You know, you could hold them." She suggestively mentioned like she was wondering allowed.

Spencer cleared his throat, turning to look at her in surprise at her suggestion. "I, uh, I think I've g-got some, erm, gloves if you want." He rushed out quickly. He wasn't opposed to the idea of feeling her soft fingers wrapped around his, but anyone would be able to see.

"What's the easiest way to warm up? Conserving body heat." Y/n replied with a smirk. "And you look really warm." She continued, looking his figure up and down. Dress pants, a long sleeve collared shirt, a sweater vest, and a suit jacket.

"You could just, uh, blow into them?" Spencer suggested, voice squeakier. "O-or massage them, actually any hand exercises would work. That would increase the blood flow, so more oxygenated blood is able to reach your extremities." Because he had no idea what to say, Spencer did what he did best and rambled.

Y/n shut him up by grabbing his hands, slotting her fingers through his, and holding them. Spencer froze for a moment, unsure of what had just happened, but he held her hand regardless.

Everyone noticed the way Y/n flirted at him, apart from Spencer. He honestly believed she was messing with him.

"Pretty Boy, you know she does it because she likes you?" Morgan asked, reclining back in his chair as he looked at Spencer with a smirk. Y/n had once again been over at his desk, offering him coffee and lingering there for a little too long.

Spencer frowned, still blushing as he shook his head. "No, she, uh, she does this all the time. It's just... well, I don't know exactly what it is... But she doesn't like me."

"Reid, you're kidding. She's obviously very into you." Elle mentioned, half sick of the flirting, half wondering how he could be so oblivious.

It was news to Spencer. They all teased him, but Spencer just figured Y/n found it extra funny to tantalize him. "I don't know... What am I meant to do with that?" Spencer wondered, thinking back to every interaction they'd had. He'd never been flirted with before, so how was he meant to know?

"Well, do you like her?" Elle asked simply. Both her and Morgan were amused by the changing look on his face.

The answer was obvious in his mind, and he said it without thinking. "Yeah, I guess I do. But I thought I liked JJ."

"Did you really, though?" Morgan prompted, making Spencer really think about it.

There might have been a chance he didn't. "No, maybe not."

"So, ask L/n's out then," Elle instructed as Morgan chuckled.

Spencer wasn't sure how he was meant to do that. "H-how?"

Elle was about to answer when Morgan chimed in. "Just ask if she has any plans this weekend. If she says no, ask her if she wants to go to dinner."

Spencer absorbed the knowledge before realizing who was giving him the advice. "Will that actually work for someone like me?"

"Don't sell yourself short, Reid." Elle firmly stated when she saw his confidence dissipate. "She clearly is into you, and you like her. It's that simple, so just ask her out."

"Okay, that's not going to be too difficult." Spencer tried to assure himself, more so than his friends.

Spencer thought the entire day about it. Every day, he tried to work up the courage to ask her, and every day he failed. For three cases worth of days, he chickened out.

It was a Wednesday afternoon when Spencer finally asked. As he made his last cup of coffee of the day, Y/n walked in, jumping up to sit on the countertop next to him.

"Morgan totally just bailed out of our weekend plans," Y/n complained casually, kicking her feet up and down as she poured her coffee.

Spencer wasn't sure what the plans were, but it sounded like a date. He hoped Morgan wouldn't have asked Y/n out. "A date?" Spencer squeaked out, preparing for the bad news. He was beyond irritated at himself for not asking her out when he had a chance.

"Oh, no, no, no. We were just meant to go to a baseball game." Y/n answered, immediately alleviating Spencer's worst fears. "It wasn't even really a proper plan. I just told him I wanted to go."

"I'll take you!" Spencer quickly declared before his eyes widened, confused about how he'd just blurted that out. As soon as he said it, he took his eyes off Y/n, looking back at his coffee. Just as quickly, he was trying to retract the statement. "Sorry, I, uh, just f-forget I, um, sa-said that." A soft finger on his lips shut his rambling up as he dragged his eyes back onto her.

The soft, amused smile she was wearing assured him she didn't think he'd done something wrong. "Spencer, you could just ask me?" Y/n suggested, knowing what he was trying to say.

Spencer was thankful she understood. Taking a deep breath in, he asked. "Do you want to come with me to the baseball game?" It was still far too rushed out and high-pitched.

"I'd love that," Y/n replied, still smiling at him.

"Like a date, though?" Spencer croaked out, needing the utmost clarity.

Y/n actually blushed, looking bashful. It was the first time Spencer had ever seen her looking so nervous. "Yeah?" She offered.

"Yes!" Spencer exclaimed, too loudly. "Yes, that would be great."

"Okay, cool." Y/n agreed, getting off the countertop with her coffee cup to walk back to her desk. Spencer couldn't stop smiling if he tried, a wide grin spread over his face. "Oh, and, Spencer?" Y/n asked, turning back around as Spencer turned to face her. "Don't read anything about baseball. I'll teach you." She informed him sternly. Spencer nodded quickly, still not sure how he'd avoid learning everything there was to know about baseball to impress her.

Spencer somehow fumbled his way through the date, and it was going perfectly until he dropped her at her house and realized it was over.

Standing in front of her building, sporting matching MLB caps, Spencer told her how he felt.

"I don't, uh, I don't know if you f-feel the same way... actually, I don't know if I'm, um, doing this properly... or, or not, but I... I really like you... and I think... well, what I'm trying to say is that I'd like to do this again." Spencer stuttered out, a blush on his cheeks as he spoke both too fast and too high pitch. "Maybe, if you want to. Or, you know, we don't h-have to. But-"

Although Y/n found it adorable, she put him out of his misery, reaching out to hold his hand. The action made him stop talking. "Spencer, I like you too." She told him, speaking steadily and watching his face light up with every statement she made. "And we should definitely go out again. Maybe we can just take it slow." She suggested.

Spencer rapidly nodded in agreement, more than content with not rushing into things. "Okay, good, so I'll see you later?" He looked for confirmation.

"Both at work and on our next date," Y/n confirmed. She lent up to kiss his cheek before turning to go inside.

Spencer was thankful she wasn't watching because he smiled more stupidly than he'd ever done anything in his life as he placed a palm to his cheek. Right where she'd kissed him, he swore he could feel tingles.

They went out twice after that, and Spencer had never been happier.

Then, Spencer went with Gideon to the LAPD's profiling conference. A text message informed Y/n that Spencer was going to his friend's art gallery, and the next day, she was on a jet to LA with the rest of the team.

The first thing that hurt her was the look on Spencer's face when Lila Archer was first introduced to the team. She knew the look was Spencer trying to hide his apparent attraction. How could she not when he looked like that at her around the rest of the team.

It stung a little, along with Spencer ignoring her. Still, she tried not to let it get to her, reminding herself jealously wouldn't help solve the case.

"They met at Parker's art gallery," Gideon informed her, noticing how she watched the door long after Spencer had followed the actress out.

At least his words explained the situation and made her feel better. She knew he was kind, and she tried to shake off the resent that was building for Lila.

When Spencer talked to her one-on-one, Y/n felt better. Even though it was a quick 'hi', the look in his eyes was loving, and Y/n could harbor her building resentment for Lila.

Y/n tried not to be concerned about leaving him at the movie set. She knew there was a lunatic trying to kill possibly anyone Lila had contact with, but she had to do her job. And that job was to find the stalker. Hotch had assigned her to help JJ settle the press and comb through magazine articles about Lila.

So that was what she was going to do. The whole time she worked, she repeated the mantra to herself, trying to remember it would be okay.

Y/n and JJ ended up back with the rest of the team when Detective Kim got shot. From there, she went back with Gideon, Elle, and Morgan back to Lila's house.

And she saw everything in slow motion. Every action that happened, Y/n expected a different reaction from Spencer.

When Lila pulled him into the pool, Y/n assumed Spencer would be irritated with her for not allowing him to do his job. Only, he didn't stay mad. He ended up laughing about it.

When Lila first kissed him, and Y/n felt the heavy sinking feeling in her chest, she hoped Spencer would push her away.

He did, but only for a second. A second of hope that filled her with far too much faith in Spencer to do the right thing.

Before she could think, they were kissing again.

It was worse than any physical pain, what Y/n felt standing in the bush. She was biting down on her lip, drawing blood as the tears welled in her eyes. Elle spun back to look at Y/n sympathetically, unsure of how Spencer could have betrayed the girl he'd been in love with for a year.

Y/n knew she didn't get to feel betrayed. Officially, they weren't together, and he could do whatever he liked.

She felt stupid for thinking Spencer was different and wouldn't break her heart. There was so much faith that she had in him to not hurt her. How was Spencer, the guy who had asked for permission three times before he first kissed her, making out with a random actress in her pool? If someone Y/n had determined to be innocent and pure could hurt her so much, how would she ever trust anyone?

There was also a lot of self-doubt filling her. The thoughts sept into her head that maybe it was her fault. What if Spencer wasn't in agreement with her initial decision to not move too fast?

That only turned her emotions back to anger and jealously. Y/n wanted to protect him, and that's why she didn't suggest they jump headfirst into a relationship. Apparently, Spencer was more than ready to take the plunge with anyone.

The sinking feeling amplified when Spencer held Lila's face. Y/n couldn't look away and, although she wished she couldn't, she could feel the same palms against her cheeks. It tainted the memory of the few kisses she and Spencer had shared. Y/n knew the feeling of his fingers, the sensation of his lips, the exact amount of pressure he used, how his nose felt against her cheek, the angle he tilted his head.

Y/n knew what Lila was physically feeling at that moment, but she also knew what Lila could feel. It was like she was in the kiss, knowing every single motion and tiny detail, while she watched someone else kiss her non-boyfriend boyfriend. It was all bitter jealously.

Then came the moment of hope. After four heartbreaking kisses, each crushing her a little more than the prior one. Y/n saw Spencer pull away. She could see him trying to stop it, and she wondered if he was thinking about her and not Lila.

Once again, her hope was crushed when Lila interrupted his talking with more kisses.

Four more kisses he granted her.

Four more kisses like he loved her.

Four more kisses that Y/n had taught him.

Their faces were so close together that it made Y/n nauseous, and she couldn't tell who she hated more. Maybe it was Spencer because he knew how much she liked him. Maybe, it was Lila because she had so effortlessly gotten the one thing Y/n pinned for. But maybe, it was Y/n herself because she let herself fall in love with someone who wasn't even her boyfriend.

As spiteful as it was, Y/n was thrilled when Lila got out of the pool, furious at Spencer. Acting like nothing was wrong, Y/n took a deep breath and walked straight past a dripping wet Spencer.

Elle gave Spencer's wet state a disapproving once-over while his eyes followed Y/n. She was just as disappointed in Spencer as she was surprised.

"I, uh, fell in." Spencer offered as a defense, eyes still trained on where Y/n had walked off as he tried to dry himself off.

"Yeah, and I'm sure there are plenty of photos," Elle replied. She waited until after they'd spoken to the paparazzo Morgan was hauling off to tell Spencer how she really felt. "You broke her heart, Reid."

Those four words left Spencer standing there alone, wet, holding negatives of him kissing another girl, and feeling repulsive. He didn't even have enough time to apologize before he had to go back inside with all the thoughts in his head.

Somehow, he managed to pull it together, catch the unsub, and properly farewell Lila before he seriously thought about Y/n again. In times like that, he hated the way his brain compartmentalized, allowing him no emotion.

Y/n felt terrible the rest of the case. Everyone could tell, but eventually, it was over. Internally, she'd decided it didn't matter. She concluded she wasn't going to be mad. Spencer made a choice that he was allowed to make because they weren't dating, so Y/n wasn't allowed to be irate about it.

He tried to talk to her on the jet, but Y/n did her best to answer with short answers or deflect whenever possible.

There was a knock on her door the night they got back to DC. 10:23. Not the usual time she got visitors, but she answered it regardless.

There was Spencer Reid.

And she didn't know if she hated him more for showing up or not.

"H-hi," Spencer stammered, shifting his weight on his feet awkwardly.

Y/n sighed, her stomach twisting as she looked into his wide brown eyes. The last time she'd actually looked at him, he was so innocent. It was all of those memories that had her standing aside, wrapping her cardigan tighter around herself like it would protect her, and letting him in.

Spencer stepped in, still feeling awkward even though he'd chosen to come to see her. "Why are you here?" She tried to casually ask.

"I... I screwed up." He admitted, eyes still on the floor.

Y/n took a seat on the couch, leaving Spencer standing there self-aware as he replayed the events of the previous days in his head. It was on a constant, unrelenting feeling.

"What do you want me to say, Reid?" Y/n asked, using his last name instead of his first. Something she hadn't done in a year. "Do you want me to agree with you? That's not a reason to come to my apartment."

She wasn't even being half as cruel as she could be, and it was killing Spencer. The calm, eerie tone she had. "I'm sorry." He tried, blanking on what to say.

"Why?" Y/n asked, twisting the knife as she looked at him with a heartbroken expression she was trying to hide. "You can kiss whoever you want. I think it's a little unprofessional, but you should apologize to Hotch for that, not me."

Spencer nodded, turning to leave only because it was the right thing to do, but he stopped. "I... Y/n, j-just yell at me, or something." He pleaded, crying even though he felt like he didn't deserve to. "B-because I can tell... I know y-your sad, and I hate it." He couldn't believe how much. He didn't like seeing any of his friends upset but watching Y/n maintain a stoic front, with tears welling in her eyes, broke him.

"What do you need me to say!?" Y/n exclaimed, all the heartbreak and anger boiling up. "You want to know if I'm sad or angry!? I'm heartbroken, I'm jealous, and I'm so fucking furious at you!" She continued to scream, hot tears falling down her cheeks. "More than anything, I'm irritated at myself for falling in love with you."

Her words stunned Spencer, stopping his racing thoughts. "Y-you love me?"

"Fucking hell, Reid! Is that what you came here to hear?" Y/n yelled, wiping up her tears as she stood up, just to put some distance between them. She usually would, but she didn't feel bad about yelling at him. "If you get to know that, then you get to know that it destroyed me to see you kissing her, okay? It killed me, and I still don't understand why."

Spencer couldn't fathom the amount of pain she was in. He felt terrible just listening to her talk. "I, uh, I c-can't... I don't, um, k-know." He stuttered out.

Y/n loudly sighed, her voice growing quiet as she stood deflated. "I get it, Reid, okay? She's beautiful, exciting, and funny. So date her or don't, I don't care. I don't want to be a part of your life as anything more than a colleague." She informed him, more than sick of him being in her apartment.

"Y/n, p-please," Spencer begged, her eyes snapping back to his. "I don't even like her!" He exclaimed.

Y/n shook her head, her nose twitching. "I don't need to hear this."

"Listen! Just, p-please, listen. I hate that I hurt you. So much." Spencer stated, his thoughts starting to jumble. "I, um, I think... no, I know. I know that I love you, and it was such a stupid thing to do. I don't even, um, know why or how." He didn't look at Y/n until he'd finished.

She bit her bottom lip, trying to stop herself from crying. It was everything she wanted to hear, but it still didn't stop the image in her head. "You kissed her more than once."

"I d-don't know why. I just did... and I didn't think about what would happen." Spencer spoke, running his hands through his hair as he tried to think of something that could stop her heartbreak. "I'm sorry that I did."

Y/n could tell that much just from looking at his face. She softened as she really took in his expression. "Would you have... if we weren't..?"

Spencer didn't miss a beat. "No. It was a mistake." She felt slightly more reassured by that like she wasn't holding Spencer back from his Hollywood romance. "I should go." He decided, looking over at the door and stepping closer to it.

"Wait, Spencer," Y/n said before she could stop herself, reaching forward to hold his hand as her voice cracked. Spencer looked down at their connected hands like they represented hope. "I meant what I said."

He wasn't sure which part she meant, but the look on her face suggested it was her love confession. "Me too... but I, um, I know we c-can't go back."

Y/n nodded at that. "I want to try to go forward." She was sure of it. Spencer was more apologetic than she'd ever seen anyone.

His face lit up at her words, mouth opening in shock. "To-together?" He asked.

Y/n gently nodded, eyes finally searching his face again. "Yes."

Spencer stepped closer to her, reaching up to touch her face before stopping. "Can I?" He hesitantly asked, understanding she might say no.

"Yes." Y/n nodded, her eyes shifting to his fingers as they touched her face. She held his face, finally feeling like they fit together. Spencer went to ask another question but Y/n leaned in, gently connecting their lips. Finally, everything felt okay again.

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yourheartonfire · 3 years

Text

By the time everything was done - the survivors found and the crowds dispersed and the press satiated and the authorities satisfied - the hero was so tired they almost smashed into their own window like a disoriented swallow. Still, somehow they got their fingernails into the gap they'd left open and half fell into their apartment.

Only to be slapped in the face with the smell of tomatoes and garlic cooking, and the sight of the villain leaning against their kitchen counter, glaring at them.

"There you are. Honestly, you're a terrible host."

The hero staggered up to their feet, fists raised. The villain smacked their hands down.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. You couldn't take on a bunny, honey, not in this state. And I'm not here to fight. You forget our bet?"

The hero stared. Dimly they remembered but the last burst of adrenaline was gone and their brain felt like mush.

The villain gestured with a flourish to a pot burbling away on the hero's stove. "Whoever takes down Supervillain, the other one buys dinner? You won, idiot. Here's your damn food. Now go shower. You aren't touching my food covered in blood."

The villain planted their hands on hips and waited. The hero looked from them to the pot, swaying gently on their feet, hands still half-extended.

After a long pause the villain sighed heavily. "At least I get paid in scintillating banter," they grumbled. But their arm around the hero's waist was firm and their footsteps patient as they guided the hero towards the bathroom.

Later the hero only had vague memories of the villain cranking on the shower, pushing them in fully clothed and ducking out as the water heated. The first really clear memory was the visceral pleasure of pulling their oldest hoodie over their aching limbs, the pilled cotton lining scratching pleasantly against their freshly clean skin, the feel of collapsing into their ancient sofa, the sagging springs cushioned in layers of cheap fleece blankets from the dollar store.

Another tantalizing waft of food smells, and the villain was dishing up bowls at the kitchen table.

"It's almost 4 in the morning," the hero said.

"Hey, there's that world class superpower: telling the time." The villain tucked a pair of colorful napkins under the spoons. "Glad to see that's still with you. After the ninth or twelfth blow to your head I was getting worried."

"[Supervillain] didn't hit me that many times."

"I was including the times your head hit the pavement, the walls, at least one car."

"It was a van," the hero muttered.

The villain pursed their lips, eyed the hero's loose limbed sprawl. "Love how you say that like that's supposed to be better."

The hero was too tired to feel more than a twinge of alarm as the villain came stalking up. They let themselves be loomed over, their head lolling back under the villain's hand cupping their face.

"You're burning up," said the villain, a new edge of worry in their voice. "Why are you burning up?"

"Superhealing in overdrive," the hero said. Suddenly they felt dreadfully hollow, even as they could feel their body churning away beneath the bruised skin. They closed their eyes.

"Nuh uh!" The hero hissed as something hot pressed into their hand. A bowl of chili. The villain dipped in the spoon and grinned viciously. "Open up."

"I can feed my - mmph!"

The spoon slid into hero's mouth and they bit down. It was barely spicy at all, closer to a stew than a chili. And it had kidney beans, the undisputed Worst Bean.

But it was delicious. Salt, fat, sweet, spice, starch. The hero chewed and swallowed and their body roared its approval, clamored for more. Just the one bite and they were recovered enough to grab the spoon away from the villain.

The villains grin only widened. "Good, huh?"

"Cheapskate," the hero muttered and shoveled another mouthful in. "Was gonna make you buy me dinner somewhere nice, not break into my house and get my dishes dirty."

"Shoulda specified that in the bet, honey." The villain sat down next to them, slung an arm around their shoulders. The hero was too caught up in the direct application of calories to do anything about that, not even as the villain's hand casually came around to brush across their forehead again. It was nice to have something to rest their heavy skull against as they gulped bite after bite.

As their spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl, the villain's hand moved across their cheekbone. "You're crying," they said, carefully neutral.

The hero wiped their eyes. They were. "That's embarrassing. This is barely even spicy."

"More than you can handle, apparently."

"I handled it," the hero snapped with more heat than they meant. "I handled it myself."

The villain breathed in and out slowly, pulled their arm away. "You almost died," they said to the still-half-open window. "I knew you were a glutton for punishment, but I didn't think you'd actually try to live out your martyr complex on live TV."

"What else was I supposed to do?" the hero said, throwing up their hands and almost knocking over the almost-empty bowl in their lap.

The villain rescued it at the last moment. "Yeah, good question," they snapped. "What could you ever possibly do except throw yourself all alone at every life threatening situation you find?"

The villain put the bowl on the floor with an angry thunk and clatter of silverware against ceramic and slumped back against the couch, arms crossed. The hero closed their eyes and tried not to miss the feel of the villain's arm around them. They were so tired. Their body craved sleep and they didn't have the words to tell the villain... Oh hell, they didn't even know what they wanted to tell the villain, let alone how to say it.

After another long silence the villain sighed. "Right," they said, moving to stand. "Our bet didn't say anything about doing dishes either, so I'm out of here."

The hero didn't think. They grabbed the villain's arm and pulled it back around their shoulders, burrowed their face into the villain's shirt, breathing in the cooking smells that still clung to them.

The villain went stiff in surprise. "Um," they said. "What is this?"

This is what my body wants, the hero meant to say. After a fight, my body gets what it wants - food, rest, comfort - and it wants you.

What actually came out was something more like, "Mm buddy wazza... wanna... hmmm."

"[Hero]?" said villain but the hero was gone, sinking into the sound of the villain's safe, steady heartbeat under their ear.

When they woke hours later, the villain was gone and the dishes sat drying in the rack next to the sink.

#my fiction #heroes and villains #heroxvillain #hero x villain #fluff #little side of #angst #h/c #100 #300 #500

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wifekasa · 3 years

Text

devoted hearts

levi x gn! reader

warnings !! major spoilers for ch 138 and 139. mentions of death, blood, gore.

genre: angst to fluff???

All you remembered was a bright light and faded screams as the world around you faded. There was darkness, complete peace. And then it came back, you saw the battlefield, painted in crimson. However, your vision was... higher up. And you couldn’t think. You were aware of what was happening but your body moved on its own accords, no thoughts echoed in your head. It was torturous, time felt too long and it was dizzying, watching yourself move. Except it wasn’t you, it was a mindless titan. You saw as you lunged for people, scooping them up without a second thought. You tried to cry but no tears came out.

Levi watched as the one person he loved was turned into a mindless titan, the thing they’d fought so long to destroy. It took everything in him to not scream your name and run for you as he ordered the shifters and Mikasa to climb onto Falco’s winged titan form. The last time he saw your face, he saw the love, the fear, the anticipation. Every emotion was written across your face in your last moments as a human. Tears threatened to roll down his face but he wouldn’t let them, he may be handicapped but he still had a job to do. To lead.

So he fought, he gave his all to commanding the others and slicing through whatever titans he could. But not yours, he refused to touch your titan. He could see you clearly inside, the twisted version of your face taunted him, for he was too weak to slay that one titan.

The time you spent as a titan felt far too long, like an endless loop of mental pain. Until finally, the light came back. The screams came back, you’d never been so happy to hear screams. Blinking furiously, you saw body parts strewn across the land and your gut twisted at the fact that you couldn’t save them, hell maybe you even killed some of them. You saw as the other non-shifters rose up, regaining feel of their bodies. You helped Jean up next to you, his words of gratitude not even registering in your mind as you gaze covered the land.

Where is he?

You left Jean and the others as you sprinted through the clouds of dust, praying to Ymir that none of the body part’s you stepped over were his. You knew Levi was strong but his injuries left him weaker then normal and you’d seen even the “strongest” get knocked down. As you ran and jumped over heads and fingers, the sickly thought crossed your mind that you could’ve cause some of these. You could’ve caused his demise. The thought made you queasy but you kept running like a madman, searching for those cold, grey eyes.

You made it out of the dust and saw a group of people all standing completely still, they were practically see through. As you got closer, they vanished and what was left in front of you caused you to inhale sharply.

Levi sat, with his hand placed over his arms in a salute. Bloodied up, but alive. You shouted his name as you sped towards him. His eyes rose towards your figure, a relieved smile adorning his features. Before he could say anything you fell to your knees and pulled him into your chest. Tears ran down your face as you hugged him, clutching onto the fabric of his shirt. Although stunned at first, Levi sighed and wrapped his arms around you as best as he could.

“They’re gone, Levi. They’re really gone. The titans. We did it.” You cried into his shoulder. The realization catching up with you, that you’d done it. Eldia was free.

“Took long enough.” He muttered, his tightening hands contrasted his nonchalant tone.

You chuckled as you pulled away, looking at his uncovered eye, “What’d you say we open that tea shop now?”

His eyes widened slightly and he smiled, a real smile, “I like the sound of that.”

a/n: um this is short asf and idk if the mindless titan description was accurate?? idk my brain is mush rn!! anyways i’m so glad levi’s alive :’) 139 was great.

#levi ackerman aot #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman imagine #levi oneshot #ch 139 #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #aot imagine #aot angst #aot fluff

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musical-shit-show · 3 years

Text

could have danced all night

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Reader Inspiration: Prompts #2 (“apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”) #14 (“when i’m not with you, it’s almost like…i can’t breathe.”) and #41 (“i may or may not have left some…marks.”) Warnings: sexual references, kissing, meddling siblings, fluffy fluff Word Count: 3,733 Author’s Note: This is my first request! Big shout out to @acmbooksandfilm for sending this in, I had a lot of fun writing it. Also, apologies on it taking a bit to get out, writing has gotten difficult as my real adult job has slowly turned my brain to mush. But, if you would still like to send in a request, feel free! My DMs and Askbox is always open, even though it may take a little longer to complete requests. And as always, check out my Masterlist, About Me page, and Prompt Lists. Thanks for all the love on my other one shots and enjoy!

“Colin, enough,” Benedict huffed as he threw on his shiny black tailcoat, “Surely you have better things to do than pester me about my love life.” Anthony, Benedict, and Colin often crossed paths when getting ready for the numerous events of the season, and now the younger Bridgerton brother was doing everything to get on his elder sibling’s last nerve.

“I’m merely pointing out the obvious, Benedict,” Colin said smugly, straightening his cravat as he looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t help but flash a mischievous smile at his reflection, “Practically everyone in the ton knows about you two, what’s the harm in proposing?”

“What on God’s green earth are you two talking about?” Anthony strode into the room, closing the door in the likely event that Colin said something inappropriate and scandalized one of their younger sisters or, heaven forbid, their mother.

Benedict couldn’t help but flush. Yes, he was close enough with his brothers to discuss all matters surrounding women, but it felt wrong for him to talk about you. Especially when your relationship wasn’t meant to be any sort of relationship whatsoever.

It had started out innocently enough; you had been close with his younger sister Eloise and Penelope Featherington for years, acting as surrogate older sister on account of you being several years older than them. You were also friendly with Daphne and Simon Bassett, and often had tea with the pair when they weren’t off performing their duties as the Duke and Duchess of Hastings.

In truth, you knew Benedict the least out of the Bridgertons who had or were close to coming of age, and was shocked when he requested to have his name written on your dance card at the first ball of the season. When it came time to dance, you had expected Benedict to act shy at first; but after some coaxing from you, he won you over almost instantly with his wit and humor.

He only asked to dance with you once more at that particular event, not wanting to be improper. However, it was clear from the way the two of you looked at each other that there was a spark.

“No one,” Benedict said, almost too quickly, “Our brother is just sticking his nose into affairs that aren’t his own, as usual.” Anthony rolled his eyes, thoroughly unamused by his younger siblings’ bickering. The three of them strode down the stairs of their home and seized a carriage so that the conversation could continue in private.

“So…” Colin drawled, “It is an affair, then?”

“You know that’s not what I meant at all.”

“A slip of the tongue, perhaps? You know, brother, you must choose your words more carefully—"

“Mark my words, Colin Bridgerton; I will kill you in this very carriage if—”

“Will the two of you, please,” Anthony huffed, feeling a migraine coming on, “Benedict, is this about who I think it is about…?” Colin nodded fervently, but Benedict remained stone-faced. He hated keeping things from his family, especially his brothers. But he couldn’t risk tarnishing your name, not after what had transpired between you two.

It wasn’t meant to happen. When Benedict had snuck off one night to another one of Sir Granville’s soirées, he was shocked to see you there, wearing a tightly-laced corset, undergarments, and practically nothing else. As soon as you saw him, your eyes widened to the size of your mother’s best teacup saucers. Without thinking, you grabbed him and pulled him into the nearest empty room.

“Benedict, wha—what are you doing here?!” he remembered you asking him, utterly flustered. His eyes drifted to the sheer robe draped over your shoulders, the fabric floating gently with your every movement.

“I could very well ask you the same question!” he attempted to whisper, now distracted by how your corset pushed up your bosom considerably, “How do you even know about these, um, parties?” For a moment, you hesitated, unsure of what to say as Benedict’s pale blue eyes bore into yours.

You sighed, resigning to come clean, “Genevieve—Madame Delacroix—she told me about them. I confided in her about my father’s money troubles,” you felt the tears start to well up, but could not bear to cry in front of Benedict in the state you found yourself in, “I barely have any money for a dowry to find a suitable husband, and Genevieve and Sir Granville are familiar so…I work when I can and just make the guests feel comfortable—you know, offer them drinks, tobacco, the like—but I provide nothing more than hospitality.”

You felt that you needed to make that distinction to Benedict. Though you suspected that any chance with him was gone now that he had discovered your secret, you wanted to at least maintain part of your reputation, “Granville is generous enough and I could not be more grateful,” you continued, pulling the nearly translucent robe tightly around your body, “And these parties are so secretive that I thought, perhaps, I could scrounge enough money together before the end of the season before I was discovered. Clearly not.”

You couldn’t help but laugh dryly, but Benedict stared at you, his expression earnest, “You need not worry about that,” he breathed, “I won’t tell a soul.” You absentmindedly bit your bottom lip, chewing nervously on a bit of broken skin. Could he really be trusted? Yes, you had crossed paths over the last few weeks, exchanging pleasantries and the occasional flirtatious glance, but would Benedict be able to keep your secret?

“Thank you, Mr. Bridgerton,” you replied coyly, deciding that you didn’t have a choice in the matter, “Perhaps I will be able to repay you one day.” A sly smile spread across Benedict’s face, his eyes flickering to the locked door. Though the party was continuing on the other side, you two had remained virtually undisturbed.

Feeling bold, he traced his fingers over your collarbone, instantly sending a chill down your spine, “Perhaps…you could repay me now?” he posited, trying his best not to sound like a complete and utter rake, “Only if you wish to, of course.” Despite your best efforts, you could feel a palpable spark that had been building between the two of you over the past few weeks. And you had grown tired of restraining your impulses any longer.

Gently, you placed a soft kiss on his lips. Your eyes fluttered shut and Benedict cupped your face with his hand, his grip surprisingly tender. His free arm wrapped around your body smoothly, pulling you flush against him. You frantically thought through the consequences of someone discovering you with a Bridgerton, but you were too preoccupied with removing Benedict’s clothing to pay much mind…

“Benedict!” Anthony snapped his younger brother out of his reverie as the carriage slowed to a stop, “Would you get your head out of the clouds and tell me what’s going on?” Benedict stared at him, utterly panic stricken. He had kept your secret for nearly a month now, and during that time the two of you had gotten even closer, both in the eyes of the ton and after nightfall in your bedchamber.

Benedict’s mind almost drifted to the night he had shared with you only hours before, but focused on the task at hand, “You needn’t worry your pretty little head, brother,” he said coolly, “I have it all under control.” Anthony looked as if he were going to be sick, and Colin smiled with devilish glee. The three brothers clamored out of the carriage and made their way into the bustling ballroom, more of their family trailing close behind.

Benedict could hear Eloise whine as Lady Bridgerton attempted to smooth down her hair, and he felt a small pang of guilt for not coming to his sister’s aid against their mother’s incessant prodding. But now, he had more pressing matters at hand; namely, what in the hell he was going to say to you now that his brothers were onto him.

He spotted you from across the hall, his heart fluttering with every step he took in your direction. He noticed that you were wearing an intricately laced shawl that was tied tightly across your chest, completely covering your collarbone and much of your breast. Benedict felt himself frown slightly, then immediately scold himself for being improper at a society function; surely, you need not show your bosom to the entire ton in order to draw the eye of him and a number of other suitors.

You were conversing with Penelope and Lady Featherington when he finally approached you, eyes wide with fear, “Hello,” he said politely, giving a slight nod to Penelope and her mother, “Is there a spot open for my name on your card?” You quirked an eyebrow, giving him a smirk as you removed the card from your wrist.

“Why of course, Mr. Bridgerton,” you replied in an equally cordial manner. Heaven forbid Portia Featherington get a whiff of your affair; you’d be certain your name would be splashed across Lady Whistledown’s pamphlet before you’d wake the next morning, “In fact, you are the first gentleman to ask, so you may have the first dance. If you are not otherwise engaged, that is.” He shook his head and his eyes gleamed as he returned your card to your delicately gloved hand.

Despite his anxiety being astronomically high, Benedict was delighted that he was able to dance with you so early in the evening. He always thought of you as a fluid dancer, light on your feet as the two of you would glide across the ballroom. He often found himself not being able to take his eyes off you, the lively music and judgmental crowd fading away the moment he embraced you.

More importantly, he wanted to speak to you about the precarious situation you found yourselves in. It was only a matter of time until either Anthony or Colin pried the truth out of him, and he wouldn’t let the news spread across all of London society, besmirching your good name. He cared about you too much to allow such a wretched thing to happen.

A few moments later, all of the couples were signaled that the first dance was to begin. Benedict shot a glance to Colin, who had been talking Anthony’s ear off since they arrived. Now, the two of them were staring him down, whispering like schoolboys. He refrained from scoffing and instead took your hand gently, pulling you into his tall frame as the music began.

You instantly noticed the nervous and almost pained expression splashed across Benedict’s face, and you furrowed your brow in worry. However, you decided your best course of action was to try and alleviate the tension he must’ve been feeling, “I see you haven’t taken a liking to my shawl,” you remarked, a sly smile dancing on your lips, “I will have to tell my sister she has dreadful taste.”

Benedict ripped his eyes from his brothers’ stares and produced a small chuckle at your teasing. He realized he’d much rather converse with you than worry about what Anthony and Colin were up to, “No, it’s uh—it is, quite lovely,” he countered, lowering his voice, “Though I would prefer to see more of you, of course.” You raised an eyebrow, impressed by his boldness.

“I believe you saw plenty last night, Mr. Bridgerton,” you posited, weaponizing his own name against him, “In fact, I suppose you could blame yourself for my more…conservative attire, wouldn’t you agree?”

Benedict couldn’t help but flush, but cleared his throat to attempt to keep up with your rather scandalous banter, “Yes, well…I suppose…” he stuttered, “I may or may not have left some…marks.” He spun you, watching as your dress moved gracefully around your body and fluttered behind you as you gripped his arm once more.

You searched the panicked expression on his face. Surely, he only knew you were teasing, so why did he look like he was on the brink of sickness? “Benedict, why are you acting so strange?” you asked, attempting to keep the mood light while searching for information, “You’re not falling in love with me, are you?”

Benedict swallowed, attempting to maintain his composure. Besides the looming threat of every affluent family in Mayfair uncovering your secret, he was also painfully aware of how nervous you had been making him over the past weeks. The way your smile lit up every room, the way your eyes sparkled playfully, the way your laugh made his heart do a somersault.

“It’s just as well,” you continued, not waiting for him to answer your rhetorical question, “I overheard Colin and Pen whispering earlier, and Simon and Daphne as well. Apparently, all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.” He sighed, a little relieved that you had caught onto his family’s shenanigans before he worried you unnecessarily. He couldn’t help but appreciate your perceptive nature.

“Believe me, Colin and Daphne may be my siblings, but they are not my friends right now,” he joked nervously, only half-kidding, “And Anthony is on dangerously thin ice. It appears my family can’t help but get involved in matters that do not concern them.” You giggled, causing Benedict’s heart to swell. He was growing more infatuated with you by the second.

“I wish my family cared half as much as yours does,” you say, a twinge of sadness in your voice, “They are all so wonderful, and I’m sure they are just being protective.” Benedict nodded, heartened by the kindness and understanding you were showing to his siblings. You already got along quite well with Eloise and Daphne, and you were always courteous to his mother while still being able to hold your own when conversing with Anthony or Colin.

As the dance came to an end, Benedict had begun to realize his affection for you. Not just physically; yes, your first encounter at Sir Granville’s had brought you two together faster than he had ever expected. It was reckless, intimate, and completely wonderful, but getting to know you, without dozens of uppity members of high society leering at your every move, was more valuable than any nights you had spent together.

And he decided in that moment, as your hand released from his and you both bowed respectfully, that he could not bear to spend one more day without you by his side. But he could not profess his love in front of God and everyone, least of all his family; he quickly surmised that he must wait until a moment presented itself.

You were quickly whisked away by your mother, unable to even say a proper thank you and goodbye. But as your eyes met his blue ones, you couldn’t help but notice how they were sparkling in the candlelight, and you felt a twinge of melancholy. You cared for Benedict, but feared it was only a matter of time before your affair ended and he was married to another disgustingly wealthy aristocrat. You gave him a fleeting smile before getting dragged to the other side of the ballroom.

As you turned away from him, Benedict felt two hands grasping each of his arms, one hand belonging to each of his meddling brothers, “I knew it!” Colin whisper-yelled as he and Anthony pulled their love-struck sibling into a secluded corner of the lavish hall, “You know, you really aren’t fooling anyone, Ben.”

“How do you mean?” Benedict asked nervously in one last ditch effort to conceal the truth. He shouldn’t have bothered; his brothers had seen how smitten he was with you, and soon the entire ton would be abuzz with salacious gossip if he did not make his move that very evening.

“Benedict,” Anthony chided sternly, clapping him on the shoulder, “Please, do not deny it any longer. You’re clearly bewitched.” The eldest Bridgerton child could not help but smirk; it was almost entertaining to see his usually guarded brother so obviously in love.

Benedict sighed, defeated, “Alright,” he whispered, his face flush with embarrassment, “I apologize for thinking I could ever keep a secret from you two.” Colin smirked proudly, feeling as if he were London’s greatest detective, “I’ll tell you everything if you want, but for the love of Christ, it cannot be here.” He gestured to the room, which was growing more crowded with preening mamas, hunting for the slightest whiff of a scandal.

While Benedict and his brothers searched for a private room for him to regale your escapades, your night flew by, and hours later you found yourself chatting with Daphne and Simon on the gorgeously decorated outdoor terrace. The night was perfectly temperate, and although the noise had died down significantly as many guests had departed for the evening, your head was still swimming in thought. Specifically, you were overwhelmed by the thought of Benedict.

He was quite kind to you, and a very smart, charming gentleman, but you felt your heart lurch as you recalled the intimate nights you had shared over the last few weeks. Men of Benedict’s status would not wed a tainted woman, no matter how much you wished he would. It was only a matter of time before Lady Whistledown revealed your transgressions, and you would be marked as an undesirable to the entire upper echelon of society.

You shuddered at the thought. “Chilly, dear?” Daphne asked sweetly, noticing the unsettled look on your face, “I would think you’d be more protected from the elements with that beautiful shawl on.” Your heart jumped to your throat before you could cover for yourself; Benedict had appeared on the terrace, looking absolutely petrified. Simon and Daphne exchanged glances.

“Darling,” Simon said, turning to his wife, “It is quite crisp out here, don’t you think? Perhaps we should—”

“Go inside to warm up?” Daphne finished his sentence, that unmistakably mischievous glint in her eye that all Bridgerton children possessed, “Why yes, I think that is a fantastic idea, Simon.” She hooked her arm under her husband’s, and the two of them bid you and Benedict adieu, much to your dismay. You were certain he had been found out by his family and was here to end your affair before word reached the rest of the ton.

Still, you managed to smile politely. Simon was right, there was a slight chill that pervaded the terrace, mostly due to the lack of company that had populated the space only hours before, “Hello, Benedict,” you mutter, shifting your weight from one heeled foot to the other, “Will you be departing soon or—?”

“Erm, yes,” he answered a bit too quickly, and you raised an eyebrow. His strange behavior all night was another indicator that ending things was clearly as difficult for him to initiate as it would be for you to accept, “But first, I, well, I need to tell you something. Something I probably should have told you weeks ago.”

You felt a lump in your throat almost instantaneously. ‘Here it comes,’ you thought, more distressed than you hoped you would be. Benedict took your gloved hand, rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. If it were not slightly improper, you would almost find it comforting; his touch always seemed to soothe you, ever since your first night together.

“I never expected to…for us to become so close in such a short period of time,” he began, wondering at what point in this silly speech he would make a royal ass out of himself. Though he had gained a little brotherly insight from Anthony and Colin, he still felt as though he could vomit at any second, “And, well, truth be told, I have enjoyed every moment we have spent together.”

You smiled, pleased by his kind words, “Truthfully, I have felt the same,” you remarked, “But it’s quite alright, Ben, I understand—”

“You do?” he cut you off again, a bead of sweat forming on his brow, “Am I really so obvious about my affection for you?” You stared at him, confused. Was this not him ending whatever…relationship the two of you shared? Now you felt like the fool.

“Affection?” you repeated, your mouth twitching, “I thought you did not want to see me anymore.” Benedict’s eyes widened, and he couldn’t help but laugh dryly. You had mistaken his jittery behavior as a bad omen, when that could not be further from reality.

He shook his head, and you felt the pace of your heartbeat quicken, “My dear, I think there’s been a slight misunderstanding,” he joked, clearing his throat, “I know that our relationship has been a secret for some time, but I cannot hide how I feel for you any longer. You are kind, and witty, and strong, and incredibly adventurous, and when our dance came to an end earlier this evening, I…I felt like there was a part of me missing as soon as you left. I…when I’m not with you, it’s almost like…I can’t breathe.”

Your breath hitched in the back of your throat, taken aback by his doting and earnest words. “And it would be my honor,” he smiled, his gaze intense and impassioned, “If I could ask for your hand.” Your eyes sparkled back at his, and you nodded silently, attempting to conceal a squeal of girlish glee. You two were still, unfortunately, in public.

“Yes,” you exhaled, feeling foolish from your assumptions about Benedict only minutes before, “I would be equally honored to be your wife, Benedict Bridgerton.” You snuck him a quick kiss on his cheek, causing him to flush for what was probably the hundredth time that night, “I see our friends were right after all, weren’t they?”

“Yes, yes they were, and I doubt I will ever hear the end of it from Anthony and Colin,” Benedict mused, smiling sweetly as the corners of his eyes crinkled happily, “I’ll see to a proper visit first thing tomorrow morning, I promise.” He studied you, doing all he could to absorb the joyous look etched upon your radiant face. You smirked, turning in the direction of your family’s carriage.

“I shall hold you to that,” you said, pulling him towards the exit, “But don’t think this night is over, Mr. Bridgerton. I’m not done with you quite yet.”

-----------

I hope you enjoyed reading! As always I would love to hear any comments or feedback! Like/comment/reblog, all that good stuff :)

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meltwonu · 4 years

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 16]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, dom!seungcheol, oral(fem receiving), a little overstimulation, some hair pulling, dirty talk, possessive!seungcheol makes an appearance, sex toys, seungcheol riskin’ it all in this one 😏😳 yall!!! only 4 more chapters after this 🥺 it’s so crazy, I don’t even remember when I started this series but omg, my longest one yet! 💕 thank you so much for the support on cherry bomb, as always!! I love yall 💕💕 also my god has it been a week 😭 gonna do an inbox roundup tomorrow!💕 But for now, enjoy ch16 and have a good, safe weekend!! 💕🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - x - x - x - x

“Let me get this straight… She asked you if you considered her your girlfriend and you said what?”

Seungcheol grimaces for the third time, brows furrowed when Jeongguk blinks at him incredulously. “I’m sorry, I just---I need to hear it from your lips again, hyung.”

“Ugh, I said ‘sure’, okay!? I got nervous! That was a big fuckin’ question!” Seungcheol tugs at his own hair, groaning as he slams his head down onto the concession stand. “Don’t even get me started on the look she gave me after. I had to sleep next to her, you don’t know how horrible that was after my fuck up.”

Jeongguk pats Seungcheol’s hair; shaking his head as he gently tries to comfort his hyung.

“What did she say afterwards?”

“She just said ‘oh, okay’ and then she changed topics.” Seungcheol lifts his head from the countertop, hair mussed as he stares back at Jeongguk who shoots him a pitiful look.

“And that was it? The two of you went to bed?” Seungcheol nods, “We ate a little and she started talking about work so I thought everything was okay? But the more I think about it the more I’m thinking ‘oh, okay’ isn’t really okay? Listen, I haven’t been in a relationship in a while and the last thing I ever expected out of meeting her was for her to be my girlfriend!”

Jeongguk laughs in return, “I can tell. You’re fuckin’ rusty as hell, hyung.”

“He said what?”

You groan as you pick up another plate. “He said ‘sure’ and then it got awkward. We ate dinner and then went to bed and this morning when he dropped me off, I felt like---weird? I was all shy all of a sudden, maybe even awkward.” Jun helps you clear off the table, taking a couple plates of his own before turning to face you.

“Like, ‘butterflies in my stomach’ kinda shy? Or, like, ‘that wasn’t really the answer I was looking for’ kinda awkward shy?”

Grimacing, you start to wipe down the table as Jun watches. “I’m not even sure. I mean… He didn’t say no, right? But I guess I was just expecting a little more than just ‘sure’. Nothing like, grandiose but… a little more than ‘sure’? It’s like he was replying to me asking if he wanted a piece of chocolate.”

Jun laughs, fingertips on his chin as he thinks of an appropriate response. “He might just be… awkward. I mean, what was the preface of this question? What conversation were you two having?”

Your lips press into a firm line, cheeks hot as Jun stares you down. “Okay… maybe you’re right. I didn’t really… work up to that question. I kinda just… asked it. I mean, you guys were asking about it in the comments too so I just thought--”

“Ah! There’s the problem though. I don’t think hyung was even in the chat at that point. So, just because all of us were talking about it doesn’t mean he knew, y’know? He might’ve just been caught off guard.”

“Ugh... fuck, you’re probably right.”

You and Seungcheol don’t talk about it.

Even though you can feel the tenseness between the two of you during dinner and even when he drops you off and picks you up from work Friday afternoon. It’s all clipped conversations and shy, awkward smiles like the two of you had met for the first time, all over again.

It eventually comes to a head when you’re only an hour away from needing to start your cam show, Friday night, and you realize that you weren’t sure if Seungcheol was going to be part of it or not. “Hey, ‘Cheol?” You ask, voice small as you stare at the back of his head. The male turns from his place on the sofa, eyes wide as saucers at your shy voice.

“Y-yeah?”

“Are you, um, going to cam with me tonight or…? I mean, I can do it alone, I just--I wasn’t sure if you wanted to, tonight.” Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek; he really wanted to talk about it and he didn’t understand why this, out of all the things, was so difficult for him to talk about.

“I--I don’t know. I just, I’m sorry, can I just... apologize first?” He groans as he gets up from the sofa and rounds it until he steps in front of where you sit atop the bed sheets. “It’s been so awkward and I know it’s because of me, so you don’t need to say anything. I just--I should’ve said more than ‘sure’, I was just nervous!” His cheeks burn red; wide eyes avoiding your own as you stare up at him. “I really want you to be my girlfriend, if I didn’t already make that clear. I was just thinking about how I never really expected you to like me that much, much less start a relationship with me, so the first thing that came out of my mouth was just… that. It was dumb, I should’ve said something else, but I think my brain was just mush by then.”

Your own cheeks feel hot at his confession; trying to hide the beaming smile that threatens to paint your features. “No--no, I should apologize a little too. I asked you that out of nowhere and made you panic. I should’ve worked it up better than that too.”

“I guess we’re both a little dumb, huh?” He laughs under his breath as he scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. “We can talk about everything else under the sun but that was just… harder to talk about in the moment.”

“Yeah, but we’re okay now, right? We’re an official c-couple?” You bite your lip, looking up at Seungcheol who seems to be staring off into the distance. A grin finds itself painted on his lips as he meets your shy eyes.

“That’s right, babygirl.”

Seungcheol decides to let you do your cam show alone tonight; watching from the sofa as you get settled on the bed before nodding at him and starting your stream.

“Hey, everyone! Happy Friday!”

The comments and donations flood in as soon as you start and you already hit your donation minimum before you even open your mouth to speak again. It catches you off guard momentarily as your eyes go wide and your lips part in a shocked expression.

“Whoa, that was so fast! We already hit the donation minimum!”

sleepy_wonu has donated $75

sleepy_wonu: your channel has grown so much in the past few weeks im not surprised lol

universe_WZ: yea seriously, i remember when it took us like 30 mins before we hit minimum

artist8hao has donated $75

artist8hao: now theres ppl we’ve never even seen before in the comments lol

angelhan has donated $50

tangerine_kwan has donated $50

“Oh I know! Remember that one cam show where it took me, like, almost an hour to reach minimum? If it weren’t for ‘dom.cheol’ then, I don’t think that one would’ve taken off at all!” You giggle at the memory, eyes momentarily flitting to Seungcheol who smiles back at you.

kitty_junjun: speaking of? No loverboy tonight?

therealchan99: oh yeah i didnt even notice he was gone 😌

chwenon: lmfao

“Ah, he said he wanted to take a break tonight so it’s just me! Hope that’s okay with you guys?” You pout at the camera, fingertips roaming your lingerie clad body as you read off a few more comments. “I’m so used to his hands all over my skin though… He gets me to cum so easily, y’know?”

You pick up a dildo sitting next to you on the bed; bringing the silicone toy to your lips as you moan. “This is the biggest toy I have and it’s not anywhere near the size of his cock...” Wrapping your lips around the tip, you start sucking on the toy, imagining it was Seungcheol’s cock instead when it fills your mouth.

Your eyes flutter shut when you start grinding against the bedsheets underneath you and Seungcheol feels his throat going dry at the way you take more and more of the toy into your mouth until you’re gagging on it. Tears spring to your eyes when you feel your throat constricting around the silicone and you repeat this action a few more times before you’re pulling the toy from your mouth and sputtering to catch your breath.

gentleman_josh95: god youre so fucking pretty choking on cock

alphagyu97 has donated $50

alphagyu97: fuck i know

Setting the toy down, you immediately work to get your lingerie off; tossing it to the side before spreading your legs for the camera. “Mmh, I’m already so wet thinking about this toy filling me up…” You tease yourself with the toy, dragging the tip through your folds and collecting the wetness on it as you mewl.

xcaliburDK: but is it gonna be enough for you?

hoshi_tiger_xx: probably not, we all know the toys arent as good as the real thing lolol

You let out a whimper as you circle your clit with the tip of the toy. “I know… But I really want something inside my pussy…”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats at the way your words only sound sweeter to his ears now that the two of you had cleared the air. He bites his lip, palming himself through the material as he watches you from his place on the sofa.

alphagyu97: is ur tight lil cunt ready to take it?

therealchan99: why dont u use your pretty fingers to get yourself ready hmm?

You nod shakily, setting the toy down again before bringing your middle and index fingers to your lips to wet them properly before snaking them down your body. “Ah, my fingers aren’t as big either…” Mumbling, you pinch and tease your clit, moaning out loudly before dragging them down and sinking them into your soaked entrance.

“Fuh--fuck, mmh!” Regretfully, your fingers aren’t as thick or long as Seungcheol’s but you curl and scissor the digits inside of you to prep yourself for the toy.

The sound of your moans and cries mix in with the pinging on your laptop from donations and comments and for once, Seungcheol realizes how weird it is to be on the other side and not with you. Admittedly, he’d gotten quite used to being on cam with you that it seemed awkward to just be doing nothing on the other side of the room.

“Oh, ngh, I--I want the toy n-now…” Mewling, you pull your soaking fingers from inside of your pussy; bringing them to your lips to clean them off of your wetness before grabbing the toy again. You run the silicone through your folds as you get it covered in your slick before positioning it at your entrance and slowly sinking it in.

It was definitely smaller than Seungcheol and didn’t have the same girth, but you still whine and whimper when it fills you up to the base of the toy. “Ngh, feels g-good…”

universe_WZ: i just kno that toy is noy as satisfying as the real thing huh princess?

xcaliburDK: right? Her pretty lil pussy is probably so used to being stretched by a big cock

You thrust the toy into your pussy, soft cries spilling from your lips as you try to imagine it’s Seungcheol instead. In all honesty, you would’ve wanted him to film with you but you respected his decision to stay on the sidelines for tonight.

“Ah, it--it’s not the s-same… I--I need h-help…” You whine; shaky fingertips still working the dildo in and out of your soaking pussy.

“P-please, ah… the toy’s not, mmh, enough to make m-me feel good...”

In the time between you picking up the toy and you actually sliding into your wet cunt, Seungcheol internally argues with himself on what to do.

And it’s not until you start begging to the air for more that he mentally says ‘screw it’ and gets up from the sofa.

Your eyes are clamped shut as you try to chase the pleasure and soon you feel the bed dip; confused eyes peering back at Seungcheol who’s entire body, including his head, is in the camera’s shot. “W-wait, you---”

“Me, what? You asked for me, right?” He turns his head, eyes staring directly into the camera as he smirks.

“Hi. I’m her boyfriend. But I think the rest of you know that already, right?”

The comments go wild with Seungcheol’s sudden face reveal, even though you and him are already lost in each other as he grips the base of the dildo and starts pumping it inside of you, angling it as best as he can to graze against your g-spot.

xcaliburDK: i think i need to quit my job tomorrow

chwenon: ??? didnt u just start

angelhan: damn i knew this dude was gonna be hot as hell

kitty_junjun: whoa nice to see ur face

kitty_junjun: i take it u lovebirds made up

xcaliburDK: yea i did but i think ive embarrassed myself enough for one lifetime

xcaliburDK has donated $150

xcaliburDK: for my shame

Your entire body is aflame with Seungcheo’s confidence and you feel the pleasure building up even quicker now that he was here with you. “Ah, f-fuck…” Whining, you bite your lip to prevent yourself from calling out his name; something you were used to by now.

“What’s wrong, baby? Call my name. Let them know who makes you feel this fuckin’ good. Let them know who’s cock you always crave and who’s cock fills you up better than this toy ever fuckin’ could.”

“Fuck, S--Seungcheol!”

Your orgasm hits you out of left field; thighs clamping shut around his arm as he continues to fuck you with the dildo as you ride out your pleasure. He turns to face the camera yet again, winking at it cockily before he turns back to you. “That’s right, baby. Now I’m gonna eat your ‘lil cunt out and make you cum on my tongue while you let the entire world know who gets you this fuckin’ wet.”

He doesn’t give you a second to come down from your high before he’s nudging your thighs apart and sliding the dildo from inside of you. A shaky breath falls from your lips as he readjusts you on the bed; this time giving the camera a side view as you turn your head to face the camera.

The comments and donations continue to flood in, except now it seems like they’re going twice as fast.

xcaliburDK: kjdkjghsdkhg fuck

sleepy_wonu: well can i say at least hes not an old weirdo lol

sleepy_wonu: ❤️

chwenon: im like, pretty sure ive seen this dude come to the convenience store i work at

chwenon: bruh i met a celebrity and i didnt even know it

xcaliburDK: dont even get me started

Seungcheol pries your shaky legs apart before he eases himself down between them. “I want you to be as loud as fuckin’ possible. Understood?” He smiles at you warmly, but his words have a certain edge to them that has you nodding profusely.

“O--okay…”

He wastes no time; skilled tongue flicking at your swollen clit as you jolt and immediately tangle your hands into his hair. “Oh, god, Seungcheol I’m--I’m, ah, sensitive…” He smirks against your skin, noting the way you already start to grind against his tongue despite your words.

Resting your thighs against his shoulders, it allows him to eat you out easier as he flattens his tongue and drags it from your soaking entrance to your clit; alternating the pressure as you whine and whimper above him.

When he notices you trying to keep your noises in, he pulls away slightly, flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue before speaking.

“I thought I told you I wanted to hear you, baby? Don’t get shy on me now.” He smirks, watching as the goosebumps rise on your skin. “In fact, why don’t you tell your lovely viewers how good I make you feel, hmm? Or tell them about the time you made me finger you in the restroom at work ‘cause your ‘lil cunt couldn’t wait.”

xcaliburDK: THE RESTROOM? At woRK?

artist8hao: ah one of the originals huh

gentleman_josh95 has donated $75

gentleman_josh95: for backstory

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

tangerine_kwan: seconded!

You bite your lip when you catch the comments, shy eyes flitting from the screen to Seungcheol who resumes eating you out. Your thighs tremble and threaten to snap shut around his head; body already on the edge of another orgasm.

“I--S--Seungcheol was at, ah, w-work… and I--I couldn’t wait so--so I made him finger m-me in his work’s restroom…” You whimper, hangs tugging on Seungcheo’s hair harshly when his tongue dips into your entrance. “Fuck, I--I couldn’t stop thinking about, ngh, his--his fingers afterwards e-either… They fit my p-pussy so well…”

A garbled moan floats through the air when Seungcheol’s lips envelope your clit, sucking it into his mouth as your cry out his name.

Your back bows off of the bed, fingertips locked tight into his hair. “Fuck, Seungcheol, please… please…” You grind against him, toes curling against his back when your sensitive body gives into the pleasure and your orgasm washes over you a second time.

Cries of his name are all you can manage when your body goes rigid; head fuzzy when he starts to dip his tongue into your pussy again. He smiles against you, calmly continuing to eat you out as your orgasm continues to wash over you.

kitty_junjun: is it just me or is it nicer to hear her actually calling someones name

artist8hao: honestly i was just thinking that too

artist8hao: its more organic idk

alphagyu97: ~organic~ ok nerd lol

chwenon has donated $50

therealchan99 has donated $50

When the overstimulation starts to bite, your soft cries of Seungcheol’s name turn into hurried, jumbled noises and only parts of his name as you squirm and tug on his hair.

“Ah, ‘Cheol it’s, ngh, too--too m-much…!” He drags his tongue against your clit a few more times, relishing in the way you still grind against him. “I c-can’t cum again…” You cry, teeth chattering when he gently laps at your folds and collects your wetness on his tongue.

Seungcheol repeats this a few more times; letting you tug and pull at his hair as he licks you clean.

“Ngh, Seungcheol…”

He finally pulls away, using a hand to pry your fingers from his hair as he smiles at your tired body. “Cute.” Mumbling, he eases your shaky legs from his shoulders before he sits up; lips covered in your wetness as he grins at the camera.

Seungcheol picks out a few comments as he chuckles under his breath; already wondering what work was going to be like on Monday when he had to meet Seokmin.

universe_WZ: u look like a dude that could fuck someone up

kitty_junjun: he probably would too

chwenon: come thru the convenience store bro, I'll hook u up

xcaliburDK: should I quit? be honest

Your tired groans bring his attention back to you; eyes trained on the way your tired eyes threaten to snap shut.

“Okay, I think I need to go take care of my girlfriend now. It was nice meeting you all, finally.” Seungcheol grins, taking care of your stream before thanking your viewers and ending the stream.

He turns to you, a genuine and caring smile on his face when your hazy eyes look up at him.

“Ready for a shower?”

“Ugh, carry me, boyfriend~”

#cherrybomb!cheol #scoups smut #Seungcheol smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #svt fic #seventeen fic #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #scoups #seungcheol

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lucyintheskywithxanax · 4 years

Text

Get Me To Church, I’ve Done So Many Bad Things It Hurts

Pairing: Wilhemina Venable x Fem Reader

A/N: you guys, idk what this is. I only know it’s not what I initially planned. Title is from Sinéad O’Connor’s song “Take Me To Church”, which hijacked this story’s initial plot. It reminds me of Wilhemina, and it’s a very good song <3

Word count: ~ 5 400

Your brain no longer was a brain but fucking mush. Mush that stunk and made one want to throw up at first sight. You had not been able to get a good night’s sleep since you had been sent to Outpost 3 a few months ago. You were running on a few hours of rest snatched here and there and on the disgusting, weird food cubes. At this point, when someone talked to you, you would gap at them until your brain suddenly gave a start and registered their words. Your body felt twice its weight. It was hard to concentrate, hard to think.

Days went by looking exactly alike. You would get out of bed, meet the others, try to have a talk, listen to the same song over and over again. “Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft”. Stare at a book maybe, open it, stare at a page, fail to understand a single sentence. You would wait for time to pass. Complain with Coco or Andre or that guy whose name you couldn’t remember even though you had been living together for months now. One day, Coco and you decided to exercise by running up and down a staircase, but you didn’t last more than five minutes before you dropped on the floor, panting. You didn’t try again. You lacked the motivation.

Sit at the table, eat your cube. “Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft”. Go to bed. You were going crazy. You could no longer tell what was real and what was a figment of your imagination.

In truth, there was one thing at least you knew was real. The butterflies in your stomach every time Venable – freaking Venable, of all people – so much as walked into the room you were in.

It was terrible. Why her, why you, you did not know. The only thing you knew was that you were falling hard for her, for that sadistic, mean, scary woman.

In typical mush-brain fashion, you couldn’t string two sentences together when she would ask you a question and her dark eyes would bore into you. You would laugh stupidly or give one-word answers. You would trip over your own feet when you passed her in a corridor.

So, really, it wasn’t a surprise when you realized that she hated you even more than she seemed to hate the others. For starters, she never looked at you. When she did, her eyes were as cold as the North Pole. Icy winds and all that. And when she talked to you, her voice was always so condescending, so sarcastic, as if she knew you were the most idiotic idiot at the Outpost. She probably wondered every minute of every day why you had been chosen to survive. It was a mystery to you, too.

But then – but this was part of your imagination. It must be. There was no rational explanation. For the wistful look on her face you had caught a glimpse of, once, when you had turned and shot her a glance. She had been staring at you. Or for the faint blush that had risen to her cheeks when you had accidentally – accidentally? – brushed past her, way too close to her, on your hurried way to the bathroom. Or for that one time, that blissful, ethereal time – but that had been a dream, it must have been, you had passed out from exhaustion and dreamed – when she, coming out of her room, and you of yours, had paused with her hand on the doorknob, and raised her head, met your eyes, and smiled. Not her mocking, cruel smile. But a fond, almost shy smile. A genuine smile, reflected in her eyes. This you were sure you had dreamed. Were you?

You were falling for her. Love, intimacy, would make things more tolerable. You craved a strong, true connection with someone, and part of you was convinced you could have it with her.

In the past few evenings Venable had made a habit of joining you in the music room as you whiled the time away before bed. She wouldn’t say anything, merely sit and read a book. The first time she had done it, you and the others had exchanged half surprised, half worried looks. What was she doing? Studying you? Deciding which one of you she would cook for dinner? You didn’t know. Her presence had made you all uncomfortable at first, but now you were used to it. You ignored her, just as she ignored you.

She always, always sat facing you.

And you couldn’t help but steal glances at her. Marvel at the beauty and neatness of her. Your eyes would travel down her body and the butterflies in your stomach would go wild and your head fill with want. For. Her.

Her eyes never met yours, not even once.

One evening as you sat brooding and she sat reading facing you, and the others chatted about some boring things, and the music, the music went “Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft”, you abruptly jumped on your feet to stretch your upper body. The sudden movement surprised Venable, who looked up at you. You met her eyes and gave her a goofy smile. She scowled.

“In your mind you have capacities,” you heard yourself sing to the music.

“But do you, Y/N?” Venable sneered.

That shut you up. You straightened up and glared at her. “Do you have, like, a problem with me?” you asked in an annoyed voice.

“Do you mean apart from your obvious lack of brain cells?”

“Why are you always so mean?” you heard yourself whine.

“Oh, boo hoo,” Venable cooed. “Poor you. Look at you, standing among the few who have been allowed to survive the Apocalypse. Do you really think I should feel sorry for you?”

You considered that. “No,” you grumbled.

“No, Ms Venable.”

You didn’t know what came over you then. Probably it was a mix of exhaustion, anger, frustration and want. Your hands clenched into fists. In what was both the bravest and stupidest moment of your life, you retorted, “Bite me.”

Someone in the room gasped, and then chuckled. Venable’s eyes went wide with shock. Heat flooded your cheeks.

You were dead meat, you knew that. So really you couldn’t make things worse by adding: “I’m sorry. I meant, bite me, Ms Venable.”

Impressive. You were a genius. Gosh, you needed sleep.

You couldn’t meet Venable’s eyes. Instead you stared at Andre, who was gawping at you. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Coco give you a thumbs-up. You smiled shyly at her.

“Right,” you said. “Um. Goodnight.”

You hurried out of the room before someone could call you back. Your heart was beating too fast in your chest, but you couldn’t really understand why. You needed sleep.

You closed the door of your bedroom behind you and collapsed on your bed.

You couldn’t sleep.

It was always the same: you were exhausted all day, but the minute your head touched your pillow, your brain roared back into life. Someone in your head turned the light on. You were wide awake.

You groaned and turned on the bed. You didn’t have the slightest idea what time it was or how long you had lain under the sheet. It could have been ten minutes, it could have been a century. You turned again, forced yourself to close your eyes.

Bite me, Ms Venable. Damn it, you were such a fool when you were exhausted! You had survived the bloody Apocalypse and now you were about to die for something so, so stupid. Venable was probably plotting your death right now. She would order you out of the Outpost and condemn you to a horrible death among the repugnant creatures that haunted the nuclear winter outside. In your current state, you wouldn’t last a day. You’d trip over something and break your neck or get stabbed by the first hungry person you’d meet.

Fear clenched your stomach. You didn’t want to die. You didn’t feel like giving up on life yet. Even if the world as you had known it was gone, even if there was almost no hope of a bright, safe future. God, you wanted to live.

You sprang out of bed before you knew what you were doing and ran to the door. Locked it. Looked around the room for things to build a barricade with. The chair would do, and if you could move that huge chest of drawers –

You heard footsteps coming down the corridor towards you. And something else, unmistakable. The sound of a cane.

Shit. Your whole body froze with fear. Then your hand automatically reached for a decorative statuette close-by, that had sharp angles and that you could use as a weapon if need be. The footsteps grew louder and came to a halt at your door.

You waited, heart hammering in your chest. Venable must have a spare key, of course she must. You stared at the doorknob, expecting it to move, expecting the door to open, on Venable standing tall and threatening and radiating off anger and satisfaction. How so very beautiful she would look.

Nothing happened.

What was she doing? You couldn’t hear anything but the mad pounding of your heart. Had you imagined her footsteps? The sound of her cane? But you had been so sure –

One of your hands came up to press against the door. Fingers splayed out, palm pressing against the cold, hard surface. To try and feel her through the wood.

You waited. Your heartbeat was drumming against the wood. And it was slowing down, and your eyes were fluttering closed, for she was here – just behind the door, and you could almost see her, her eyes on the doorknob, the spare key in her hand, her lips slightly parted. It was as if your soul had connected with hers and now they were softly singing to each other.

There was a sound like a sigh. Before you knew it you had unlocked the door and opened it.

Venable stood in front of you with her left hand in the air, a few inches further to the left than yours had been. She met your eyes in surprise as her fingers curled up. She lowered her hand, and schooled her features.

You decided your safest option was to play it cool.

“I thought I heard a noise,” you said, assuming a casual expression.

“I was on my way to bed,” Venable answered. A pause. “I saw your light was on through the gap under your door.”

She didn’t sound particularly mad or threatening. Relief flooded your chest. Maybe she didn’t mean to kill you, after all. Maybe you’d been over-reacting.

Her eyes fell on the statuette you were still holding.

“What’s this?” she asked very slowly. Her eyes met yours again. They were dark, her eyes. The darkest eyes you had ever seen.

“What’s this?” she repeated, louder. You started.

“Oh, uh.” You raised the statuette to your chest and shrugged. Play it cool. “I don’t know why I’m holding this.” You tried to laugh. It came out nervous and foolish. “Must have been sleepwalking or something.”

Venable’s gaze was boring into you, piercing your skin, piercing your veins, piercing your bones. You felt too hot suddenly. You laughed again. Then it finally dawned on you.

“My light isn’t on,” you said.

You always kept one candle burning when you slept, but its light was very faint. There was no way Venable could have seen it from the lit corridor.

Her face didn’t change. “It’s not?” she said in a toneless voice.

You shook your head. “I’m afraid not.”

She straightened her shoulders, raised her chin. Her grip on her cane tightened just so.

“Were you planning on attacking someone with this?” she asked, nodding at the statuette.

“I’ve no idea what you mean,” you answered, holding her gaze.

“I cannot think of any other use you could have for it.”

“Well, maybe I was.”

“Has someone threatened you?”

You scoffed. Gave her a look as if to say the joke wasn’t good. She narrowed her eyes uncomprehendingly.

“Um, let’s see.” You folded your arms as you pretended to think. The statuette dug in your chest. “Maybe I’ve gone just a little bit too far with someone who’s quite obsessed with hierarchy.”

A small, incredulous laugh escaped her.

“You thought I was going to –“She didn’t finish her sentence, her laugh lingering on her lips as the incredulity reached her eyes.

“Well,” you retorted, leaning your hip against the doorframe, “you did have those two Greys shot the other day for making love.” You raised your eyebrows at her. “For breaking one of your rules. So excuse me if I’m not feeling particularly safe right now.”

The smile vanished from her face. She closed her mouth, stared at you. Your eyes shifted to her lips. Back up to her eyes. You licked your lips.

“I wouldn’t have you killed merely for being stupid,” she said after a short moment.

How were her cheekbones so sharp? Her eyes so dark? You swore whomever had made her was the most talented artist and the cruelest asshole in the whole goddamn universe. How many years it must have taken, how much sweat, how many skills, how much patience and love, to make her.

You cleared your throat. What had she just said? Called you stupid. Wouldn’t have you killed. Something like that. You couldn’t remember.

“My light wasn’t on,” you said mechanically, “so why did you stop at my door?”

If the question surprised or unsettled her, she didn’t show it.

“I thought it was on,” she answered without missing a beat. She paused. “You thought I was going to have you killed?”

“Um, maybe.”

Her eyes fell on the statuette again. When they met yours, you swore you saw something like sadness deep into the black. She blinked, and the sadness disappeared.

“It’s getting late,” she said. “You should go to bed.”

You realized you didn’t want her to go. What if you invited her to come in? What if you told her about your insomnia, and asked her to help you while the night away? Merely have a talk with her. Merely sit by her side, and watch her, and share secrets with her. Show her you weren’t as stupid as she must think you were. You could light dozens of candles and watch the light dance on her face. Have her relax, make her laugh. And maybe if things went well, at the break of dawn you could lay your head on her lap, and certainly then sleep would find you.

You assumed a nonchalant expression. “Well then, goodnight to you,” you said with a smile that hurt your mouth.

She nodded, turned and walked off.

You listened to her footsteps fade away. You let out a long, shaky breath, and closed your door.

For a very long time you stayed with your back against the door, staring unseeingly at the ceiling. The sadness you had seen in Venable’s eyes haunted you. You tried to think of something else. What you would do tomorrow. Boring. That summer holiday you had spent in Spain with your best-friend. Venable’s hair in the flickering light of the candles. Venable’s face. Venable’s eyes. How you absolutely adored the fact that she could stand up to anyone. Venable’s eyes. The sadness in her eyes.

You groaned. You had half a mind to bang your head on the door to knock yourself out and finally get some sleep. Perhaps you could go to Venable’s room and apologise. Tell her you hadn’t meant to question her authority. You’d like to see her again.

It was a stupid idea. Lack of sleep made you so, so stupid. She would be angry, would order you out, slam her door in your face, maybe hit you with her cane. You shouldn’t. You wouldn’t.

You tip-toed down the corridor till you reached her door. It was slightly ajar, which surprised you. Heart beating fast, you opened it just enough to peek into the room.

Venable was sitting on the floor by the dark fireplace, her head bent, her hands joined on her lap. What was she doing on the floor? Surely the position couldn’t be good for her back. Then you noticed that her lips were moving, forming silent words, as if she were praying. Her eyes were closed.

The flickering light from the candles threw shadows on her face. Patches of black and red and orange vacillating and oscillating. Touching her face, fleeing to the walls. You watched her in silence, at a loss for what to do or what to think. You heard her sniffle, saw her raise a hand to wipe her cheek.

There was something so fragile about the scene in front of you. To see this woman who was always so proud, and so strong, and so dominating, murmuring silent words to herself on the floor in the dead of night. Or maybe those words weren’t for herself. Maybe they were addressed to someone else, whoever would listen, whoever would take the time to stop and lend an ear. Was she asking for strength? For mercy? Salvation? Her back was leaning slightly forward just like the backs of worshippers you had seen in churches.

Her lips stopped moving for a moment. She opened her eyes to stare unseeingly at the wall in front of her. You saw her bite her lower lip, saw her take a shaky breath. The silent murmuring started again.

You scratched your arm nervously. You knew you should leave, and erase from your mind this private moment you had no right to witness. Part of you felt like a thief. But your legs seemed to be frozen. You could not move them.

So you watched her. At one point she coughed softly, and the next two words came out loud enough for you to hear them: “Let me...”

Was she praying? You didn’t think she was a religious person. Why should she be? She had helped bring on the Apocalypse and had not received so much as a word of complaint from God. You squinted at her in the dim light, your body instinctively leaning towards her, your hands coming up to grip at the doorframe. Your heart was pushing against your ribs as if it wished to burst free from your chest and wrap around her.

Venable paused, sighed, went on murmuring. Once again her words reached you. “…soothe and let it save me so she can think it acceptable to love me.”

Your clammy palm slipped on the doorframe, unbalancing you. You gasped in a breath. Venable’s head jerked to the side. Her eyes locked with yours.

You could have screamed. Surprise then anger then fear flashed across Venable’s face as you took a step back, your mouth opening and closing like a fish as you tried to find something to say but couldn’t come up with anything. For a moment there was only silence, and you and she holding each other’s gaze.

Venable’s face closed up. She stood up, supporting herself on her cane, so calm, so composed. It was impressive, the tight grip she kept on her emotions. Always so perfectly in control of herself.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in a firm voice.

“I –“you stuttered, “I – I’m sorry, I just – I, uh, saw your light was on.”

That was a risky answer, and you knew it. But today had been crazy, and any minute now Venable would unleash her wrath and it would destroy you. You had nothing left to lose. So you held her gaze, her inscrutable, unreadable gaze, admiring even now the flickers of candlelight that danced across the black.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you heard yourself say, your voice coming from far, far away. “I’ve not been able to sleep for quite a while. So I roam the corridors to try and distract myself, and I saw your light was on.” A pause. “What were you doing?”

Venable’s expression didn’t change. She took her time to answer, and you waited, waited for the inevitable anger, the inevitable punishment. You felt too distanced from yourself to be afraid.

“That is none of your business,” Venable said eventually. She turned away from you. “Go back to your room.”

That brought you back to yourself. Your soul crashed back into your body.

“Is that all?” you blurted out. “Go back to my room? Aren’t you going to, like,…” You didn’t finish your sentence, but she must have understood, because she turned to face you and shot you a somewhat outraged look.

“You seem so very certain I mean to hurt you,” she said sharply.

“Er, well.” You folded your arms on your chest and looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think. “In the last few hours I disrespected you and burst into your privacy. And, no offence, but you don’t strike me as a kitten kind of person.”

“Kitten?” she repeated.

“Yeah, you know.” You brought a nervous hand up to scratch your head. “Fluffy and cute, cuddly and helpless.”

She stared at you as if you were stupid. “Kittens scratch you for no reason.”

“Yeah, but...”You shook your head at yourself.”Never mind, don’t mind me. I’m too exhausted to think straight.”

Long seconds passed. None of you moved. You both held your ground, staring at each other. Waiting.

Your mouth opened again. “I don’t know whether I should run away from you or towards you.”

She didn’t react. Didn’t answer. She kept staring at you.

“I can’t sleep,” you repeated. “May I stay here and sleep with you?”

Her expression did shatter at that. She blinked in surprise, then in consternation.

“Uh, I mean, not like that,” you stammered. “I mean sleep as in actually sleep. Uh, get some shuteye.”

Venable let out another one of her small, incredulous laughs. “No, you may not,” she answered sharply.

“Right, of course. Stupid me.” You tried to laugh, ended up choking on your own spit.”Sorry. Uh, forget about all this.” You quickly turned to go.

“You need to get a grip on yourself,” came Venable’s voice. You stopped.

“Gosh, I know,” you breathed.”I’m sorry.” You waited. No reply came, so you started to walk away.

“I may have a few sleeping pills, if you think they can help,” Venable called after you.

You turned on your heel and rushed back into her room. “Yes, please, I’d be very grateful. Thank you.”

Venable nodded, walked into the ensuite bathroom. You heard the sound of a drawer opening, some fumbling, and then she was back into the room holding a small pill box.

She dropped one pill in your extended hand. “Try this tonight. I can give you more tomorrow if it works.”

“Thank you,” you breathed. Your fingers curled around the pill as her eyes bore into yours. You almost reached out to touch her cheek. Almost.

But then your breath hitched. For that was it, wasn’t it? Her punishment. Her revenge. You glanced down at the pill in your hand. Poison. It had to be.

You glanced back up at her, and your thoughts must have shown on your face, for her eyes momentarily glazed over with the same sadness as before.

“This is hydroxyzine,” she snapped.

“Right,” you mumbled. “Thanks.”

“Do you think some of my rules are too harsh?” she asked suddenly.

You blinked at her. “Well, I mean…” You paused a second, considering. You chose honesty.” Most of them are useful, I’ll give you that. But, Ms Venable, the copulation rule? People being shot for, what, loving each other? Finding comfort in each other?” You took one step towards her, growing irritated. “Those two Greys didn’t deserve death. They did nothing wrong. And what’s so bad about copulation, anyway? What’s so wrong with affection? Intimacy?”

You paused, waiting for her answer. Her eyes were very big and shining in the candlelight. They were different, now. It was that sadness again. She looked almost sad.

“Tell me, what’s wrong with this?” You reached out and laid the pad of your index on her right wrist. She tensed up, her hand tightening around the knob of her cane. Her eyes grew bigger still.

You swallowed, refusing to lower your gaze, as you slowly ran your finger down her hand, circled one of her knuckles, moved to the next. You could feel her shaking under your touch, her skin soft and hot.

“This never hurt anyone,” you said softly. Her brow tightened, just so. She made as if to withdraw her hand from your touch. Your finger stuttered, your eyes questioning hers. Well, maybe affection had hurt her. Undoubtedly it had. You could read it in her eyes.

You removed your hand, but she captured it in hers and brought it up close to her mouth.

“We cannot possibly take the risk of having to deal with a herd of babies, can we, Y/N?” she said very slowly. Her breath grazed your knuckles and sent a shiver down your spine. Her grip on your hand was strong.

“We can’t, Wilhemina,” you heard yourself say.

Wilhemina. How did you remember her Christian name? She had told it to you exactly once, on the day of your arrival at the Outpost. Months ago. And it wasn’t a very common name.

“But then again, Wilhemina,” you went on, “you and I would never have this problem.”

Venable brought your hand up to her mouth, her gaze burning into yours, and sank her teeth into your skin.

“Ow!” you yapped. “What the…”

She tightened her grip on your hand to hold it back. A smirk crept up her lips.

“Bite me,” she said, her mouth hot and damp against your skin. “That’s what you said. So, here.” She did let go of your hand, then. You held it protectively to your chest, smoothing it over your shirt. “Happy to oblige.” She turned away from you.

You watched her in consternation as she bent over her bed, apparently rearranging the pillows. Her teeth had left a row of white marks on your hand. A moment passed, until she straightened up and met your eyes.

“Well, goodnight,” she said, almost teasingly. And with that she sent you off.

“You’re still alive,” Coco said in surprise the morning after.

“You’re very observant,” you mumbled, slumping onto the chair next to her. You still felt a bit woolly because of the hydroxyzine. But at least you had slept.

“You’ve been observing our Earth”, sang the female voice from the radio.

“This song will drive me crazy,” you groaned. “Can’t we turn it off?”

“And we’d like to make a contact with you,” the voice retorted.

You straightened your shoulders as Venable walked into the room. Her gaze immediately fell on you. You held it, not sure what to think of the night before, her helping you, her biting you for God’s sake – mechanically you massaged the back of your hand where her teeth had sunk. And those words you had overhead. They had been addressed to someone else, but you couldn’t help but hope she had been talking about you.

You thought you saw something in her eyes, eagerness perhaps, as she walked towards you. She stopped in front of you and tapped her cane on the floor.

“Good-morning,” she said. You gave her a smile in answer, then lowered your eyes to study your nails. You could feel her gaze on your face.

“How did you sleep?” she went on in a casual voice that sounded just a tiny bit strained, as if she were uncomfortable or nervous.

You squinted at her, fighting back an amused smile. “I slept well, thank you.”

You were vaguely aware of the hush that had fallen upon the room. There was more to it, too, some sort of tension, expectant and apprehensive, a holding of one’s breath as one waits for something the nature of which one isn’t really certain of.

“We’ve been observing your Earth, and one night we’ll make a contact with you,” the robotic, distorted alien voice burst out.

“Good,” Venable answered. “I am glad to hear that.”

A pause. The pause stretched.

“Maybe now some of my brain cells will finally kick back into life, “you prompted.

Venable blinked. “We can only hope so,” she answered after a while.

The smile you had been holding back danced across your lips. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Coco shoot you a perplexed look, saw her contort her face as if to ask, “what the hell is happening?”

Venable’s cane tapped on the floor. “Everyone, please,” she called, “I have an announcement to make. Some good news for you all.”

Excited whispers filled the room. You straightened in your seat. Venable waited until she had everyone’s attention, and then spoke with pride in her voice. “To renew with tradition and entertain you, we will now have board games nights. Whist, backgammon, chess.”

Was she… actually trying to be nice? Giving you all something to look forward to? A bit of fun, to help pass the time? You almost gawked at her.

She’s trying, a voice whispered in your head. What was it she had said? Make it acceptable to love her. You were vaguely aware of the tears that sprang to your eyes.

“Excuse me,” Coco blurted out, “I thought you’d said ‘good news’, not ‘you’re now officially living in a shitty Jane Austen novel’.”

Venable glared at her. You caught just a flash of pain in her eyes.

“I think it’s a good idea,” you retorted before Venable had time to. “It’ll keep our minds distracted.”

“I don’t even know what whist and backgammon are,” said Andre. “And I’ve never played chess.”

“Of course you haven’t,” Venable sneered. “It will be the perfect opportunity to inject some knowledge into your vacuous brain.”

“Not as vacuous as that,” Andre retorted angrily, “seeing as you filled it with my boyfriend’s own brain.”

You had never seen Andre stand up to Venable before. Like the others, he had been too scared of her to dare contradict her. But now his voice was openly belligerent, his eyes shooting daggers at her, and his hands gripped the arms of his chair as if he were contemplating standing up. Something had changed, and it didn’t take you long to realize you were the cause. Or rather, Venable’s behavior to you. You had been insolent to her, and she had not punished you. She had not even verbally abused you.

“What will it take,” Venable enunciated, “for you to finally understand me when I say that I did not feed you Stu?”

“Then where is he?” Andre growled, jumping to his feet, “And what was in the fucking stew?”

“Alright, okay, calm down,” you spoke, rising too, and holding out a hand in front of Andre. “I’ll teach you chess, okay? I know chess, I can teach you. Just, relax, man. Gosh.”

Andre glared at you. You raised your eyebrows at him. For a minute he stayed still, hands clenched into fists, and then he let out a breath and moved back to his chair.

Coco threw her hands up in the air. “Board games nights it is,” she said sarcastically.

You turned to Venable. She was studying you, her expression strange, as if she could not quite decide between anger and gratefulness.

“Miss Y/L/N,” she said, her eyes locked with yours, “I do not need your help when it comes to dealing with idiots.”

You took your time to answer, to think of the right words to say. A smile crept up your lips again, and this time you let it.

And you knew everyone in the room would be able to hear you. But you didn’t care. Blame it on the hydroxyzine. Blame it on the freaking interplanetary and most extraordinary occupants. The world had ended. You were exhausted. And you were falling for her.

When you spoke, your voice was a singsong, as insolent as it had been the evening before. “Why, fuck me, Ms Venable. I know that.”

#ahs #ahs imagines #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #fics

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