#but yeah also bc i dont want to bother him more than i already have on top of what he has to deal with already

[mrfoox]

Help, I don't think I've met another person with these many exceptions in their views ajnsnfjskajsjfk

[overnowsfcb]

even if they talk; trent alexander-arnold smau

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x nepobaby knowles!model!reader

face claim: taylor russell

summary: people will criticize everything, but there is someone who will never fail you, and that was trent.

warnings: mostly fluff, angst (bit of hate and critics towards reader).

note: this is my first smau i hope it's not too bad! i would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, also requests are open! — venus 🫂💐🫧

INSTAGRAM!

liked by ynknowles, virgilvandijk and 1,199,023 others

trentarnold66 🤷🏽‍♂️

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user1 the best out there

user2 unreal 🔥🔥🔥

user3 let's go reds!

ynknowles congrats! is there some secret routine helping you before the game to be that amazing? 🤔

↪trentarnold66 Maybe.. But I can't share any details here 🤫

↪user4 ARE WE MISSING SOMETHING????

↪user5 whats so interesting??? share with the class????

user6 yn and trent interacting??? i- wow

↪user7 if i hadnt seen it with my own eyes id say everyones tripping

user8 are they implying something or is just me

↪user9 I THOUGHT EXACTLY THE SAME

user10 YOU BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF ynknowles

user11 LET HER COOK

↪user12 girl i think they've already had a feast

user13 wtf is yn doing here

↪user14 she ruins everything good

user15 i hope trent doesnt distract w this... cant even say it

↪user16 yeah we know what she did to her exes so...

↪user17 put some respect on beyoncé's daughter's name and inform yourself before talking, mind you

NEWS!

comments

user trent can do so much better than yn. she just wants to stay relevant

user shes using trent because she has no talents to show

user i've heard rumors about how yn's exes have ended. trent, watch your back, my man.

↪user you talk as if she murdered them??? plus she never did anything to any of her exes you're just talking bc it's free

user i just hope that trent can open his eyes asap

user what a disappointment from trent. i thought he was better than dating a spoiled kid with too much time and money in her hands

user y'all are just jealous that she has what many desire 1. money 2. fame 3. beauty 4. trent's dick

user why is everyone jumping to conclusions though? we should give them the space to tell us whenever they feel ready

user i love how haters act like they know everything about yn's life and they dont know shit

TWITTER!

INSTAGRAM!

liked by zoeisabellakravitz, trentarnold66 and 2,763,548 others

ynknowles paris you are the vibes ⭐️ so damn proud of my little blue and this mind-blowing tour, i love you momma beyonce !

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beyonce Love you endlessly, my angel. You know how much your support means to Blue. 💙

bellahadid Prettiest fairy in the world.

troyesivan mmm alright??? why are you so perfect???

user18 no trent here though 🤷‍♀️

user19 this is the confirmation about how yn just uses trent

user20 ugh. i hate these nepobabies who think the world revolves around them

ynknowles has restricted the comments for this post

TWITTER!

INSTAGRAM!

liked by ynfan34, trentfan78 and 18,905 others

ynknowlesupdates Yn Knowles in Anfield today with friends! This is the first time we've seen her in public in three months.

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user1 i cant stand her 😒 smile or smth if youre gonna see your "boyfriend"

↪ ynfan1 if you cant stand her then poke your eyes with a spoon and dont bother 😁

ynfan2 omg this will be the first match that she attends. i hope she enjoys it!!!! (win please)

ynfan3 I MISSED HER SO MUCH IM GLAD SHES WELL

ynfan4 baby looks tired of people taking pics of her 😕 i wanna hug her

↪user2 but shes there for that??? she loves attention

↪ynfan5 or maybe just MAYBE she wants to support her boyfriend??

ynfan6 TODAY I WAS MISSING HER MORE THAN ANYTHING SHE LOVES ME

trentfan1 WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING THERE?? i though we had gotten rid of her 😩

user4 if we lose today you know who is to blame...

trenfan2 over and over again i will repeat it until trent leaves her, shes with him for fame

↪ynfan7 yeah cause trent is soooo worried about what you think right???

user5 i bet shes there just for the cameras

trentfan3 yn trying to be a wag is so cute and laughable. she doesnt even measure up to the real ones.

↪user6 ikr? shes trying so hard poor girl

trentfan4 the fact that she goes with her friends 💀💀 i bet no wag would want to be seen with her

INSTAGRAM!

trentarnold66 Just clever people can handle how flawless my queen is. Happy first anniversary, my love. I love you madly, always. No need to demonstrate anything on social media when we're tellin' each other how much we love at every hour. ❤️

tagged: ynknowles

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ynknowles i love love love you so fucking much you dont have an idea

↪trentarnold66 i love you more more more than you could imagine

ynknowles thank you for being the most perfect man ive ever known t ❤️❤️❤️❤️

↪trentarnold66 i just try my best to be on your level, lovely

beyonce You are such a gentleman, Trent! Grateful for the way you take care of my angel.

liked by trentarnold66, ynknowles and 21,234 others

ynfan8 A YEAR??? BUT IF WE FOUND OUT FOUR MONTHS AGO

↪trentfan5 i feel so stupid how did they hide it so well 😦😦

trentfan6 shut them up trent

trentfan7 THATS A GOOD MAN!!!! men just take notes rn

bellahadid Thank you for taking care of the purest woman in this world, Trent 💖

ynfan9 not bee and bella thanking him 🥺🥺

↪trentfan8 im gonna cry he must be so cute

↪ynfan10 no bc she surely spent some tough months with the hate towards her and he sure was the supportive boyfriend as he should 😭😭

trentfan9 WHY NO ONES TALKING ABOUT THE BATMAN KEYCHAINS???

↪ynfan11 nonononooooo i love them best couple in the world

ynfan12 the pics he takes of her, the caption, everything 😪😪😪 god send me a man like that

trentfan10 the people who said they were going too fast must be regretting it 🤭

ynfan13 im afraid we'll find out they have kids when they're in uni, lmao. happy anniversary you two!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[greyfacade]

Ask game questions! 5, 7, 8, and 23 for spamton bc I'm legally obligated to ask about him. You don't have to do all of them tho if you don't want!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor

First song I thought of, though I'm sure there are other more suitable songs I could come up with. But honestly, due to my illness I don't get to listen to music often. I'm sensitive to sound.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

There's been some really nice fanart, and I love the fake ad ones people make, and the pinups. I love buying merch from people.

Its also nice when people treat their plushes nicely, or actually see him as more than just the "funny salesman." Don't get me wrong, Spamton's is an awesome a salesman and all, but that's not all he is.

Oh, my fave part though, is how everyone celebrates his fan birthday. Thats super sweet. I love seeing people make fanart for that.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Hm.. there's lot of great fanart of him, and you can see what I post already.

But I guess his shop sprite. It's fun to talk to him.

I do wonder what he would be like in person though.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Haha... heh.... well, this will get long... (Sorry.)

Mostly just the fact that the fandom is made up of a LOT of hateful people, who hatepost about Spamton because he's "popular," or because their fans of Swatch/Queen/Addisons and are in denial about what those guys did to him so they try to pin it on Spamton by saying "he deserved it" or saying it never happened.

Which is REALLY ironic in a way. But wait, we got more!

(_WARNING: RANT INCOMING!_ You dont have to read this.)

Many people can't get past the "funny salesman" trope. They think the salesman pitch Spamton puts on is literally all he is, that he really is this guy who is silly, obsessed with money, and batshit crazy. Does no one know how entertainment works!? Has no one ever followed a YouTuber or Twitch streamer, or gone to the circus or seen a live show? That how people act in front of a camera, isnt how they act all the time!? Spamton doesn't actually care about money, he said it himself; he does all he does because he's an entertainer trying to survive! The Spamton Sweepstakes, the Fangamer ads, the Twitter replies... while they contain truths and genuine things about him, for much of it, he's playing everyone like fiddles! He's saying whatever the hell he can to make you buy his shit, because funny thing, its his job! And the things is, it WORKS. Everyone totally buys in to it! But while I'm sure he does find joy in what he does, it can also be kind of painful that everyone actually thinks that's all he is in a way... they infantilize him, they treat him like he's crazy/stupid, they stereotype him, they make fun of him, they talk about wanting to hurt him... and they think its okay, because "he's in on the joke." Yeah? You really think anyone would find joy in seeing you make art of them getting abused/hurt/killed? REALLY? Ever thought that maybe... its not actually okay....

I guess I feel bothered by it. Sure Spamton chooses to play up all the stereotypes about him so that people will buy his stuff, and its cool that he can still joke about things like that. But... I wish people saw more of the real him sometimes, and realized he deserves kindness and respect like anyone else.

But I think Spamton is a good example of how people go too far, how they'll greedily take everything from someone, even their dignity, if it means feeding their own happiness. How they can't separate entertainment from reality (... yeah yeah, some irony there as I'm talking about a fictional character...)

In a way, the Spamton fandom, often represents to me, much of the things I hate about the entertainment industry, hell even fandom. I'm glad people love him and buy his stuff, but I also wish they liked him for kinder reasons. I hope that if he continues to be in entertainment, he gets to make something he loves, that allows him to be who he wants to be. Because like many of us, he sometimes gets trapped in a role, determined by other people. And while some of it is true, like he is funny and has a dark sense of humor, and I'm sure he does enjoy many of the things he does... but some of it, I think is sort of forced on him. It's like if you don't act the way everyone wants, they'll get angry or abandon you. And that, thats awful.

(And Im not saying don't enjoy his salesman persona, just that, I wish people saw the rest of him too. Because he's a kind, caring and brave guy, and I really wish him the best ya know?)

.... of course, I admit this might be some of my own self-projection too, but lets not unpack THAT.

...

......

You made it this far, wow... uh... *gives you a gold star saying "I just wasted several minutes of my life to an insane fan rant." except all the words don't fit on the star, so it just says "I just wasted."*

... *runs away while you ponder the star*

[dancefloors]

where's the harry's house unhinged ranking maam

alright this is longer than the other two combined but it's not my fault he is a madman. here we go

Matilda: was this necessary. was this necessary. Hey quick question was this necessary. I think we all know why this is number one and it's especially sickening that this ONE SINGULAR TIME in his career he chose not to be even a little vague in his lyrics, not one word minced. like did he really need to say "your family never showed you love" with his chest like that :/. second of all, writing a song about found family and DIY-ing clothes and growing up isolated and naming it after Matilda knowing his whole fanbase is made up of sentimental homosexuals and repressed eldest sisters WAS targetted behaviour. in second person too. he really said "YOU are gay and alone.. but it is okay ❤️".

Keep Driving: the already infamous choking/cocaine line, the science, the edibles, the bad-driving metaphor etc etc yes, ALL psychotic. but probably the most unhinged unnecessary part is the sickly sweet slap in the face that is "hashbrown, egg yolk, I will always love you" ambushing me with no forewarning. makes me want to jackhammer my head into the nearest wall until my skull is pulverised. why would you put a line like that in a song that is also about sideboob and then have the audacity to tell ME to "just act normal"?? you are preaching from hell.

Music for a Sushi Restaurant: he put his brain in a blender and then served it up. just absolutely saying whatever the fuck, not even trying to make sense, 50 different things going on at all times. like it's him in the studio reading a takeout menu over that Glee Club ba ba-ba acapella harmony, making a british pun about cocaine, hitting dog frequencies with those falsettos, pondering society if we could eat stars, and then proudly declaring he's not going to go broke as if anyone even asked. like okay..... music for a psych ward.

Little Freak: yeah he clearly walked into the studio dick first with this one but pensively somehow. talking about wet dreams but i feel like witnessing a slam poetry reading. philosophical horniness. Little Nietzsche.

Boyfriends: he had a simon and garfunkel beat, gay misandry in his heart, and a dream. doubly psychotic that this was conceived on the same day as the Fuck Straight People anthem that is Lights Up... he said heterosexuality it ain't me 🤣🙏 but you gay people are on thin ice too. (also let's not think too hard about "I'm not ever going back" / "you fool, you're back at it again"...... his mind is a saw trap)

Love of My Life: I do actually subscribe to the idea that this song is about England and not a person bc it makes it so funny. "you were the love of my life, will it ever be the same, I wish I knew you better"... brother it is a country. England unfortunately still exists. where is it going to go. you are so dramatic.

Cinema: never witnessed a more aquarian move than being in an intimate relationship with someone, sleeping in the same bed, going on late night drives, dancing, spending all your time with them and then after all that being like do you like me tho do you think im cool do you think im chill? then he spends the last 1 minute making a sex pun about popcorn.

As It Was: are we institutionalising ourselves or shaking ass like what is the energy here. why does this song about clinical depression make me want to do 15 consecutive cartwheels

Satellite: "am I bothering you do you wanna talk" to "I don't want to talk to you" within 60 seconds. if i said i want to talk then i didnt bc i dont. no i didnt <3

Daydreaming: yeah yeah a song about horny dreams what's new. the most insane part of it though is definitely the bass line like.... that is the bass line written by a man taken HOSTAGE. a man FIGHTING for his LIFE. convinced kid harpoon was in that studio with a gun to Harry's head, finger on the trigger and all. Like everytime I listen to this song I imagine him getting waterboarded because there's no other explanation.

Daylight: the insanity of sandwiching a song about riding bikes and sitting on roofs and finding life and bluebirds and honey between one about crippling loneliness and one about dangling wet dreams. be serious for once in your life harry.

Late Night Talking: funky little anthem but what do you mean "late night talking"? we all know ur geriatric ass is all tucked in by 9PM on the dot, Scrooge nightcap on and all. stayed up til 9:30 and wrote a whole song about it.

Grapejuice: mostly just toothache-inducingly sweet but sidenote: i truly despise being provided insight into his food/wine taste bc its always horrific and caucasian. genuinely enjoying red wine..? please stop. imagine you go over to this man's house and he's serving pile of boiled peas with some nasty ass shiraz to wash it down lord have mercy

(and hs1 and fine line ranked for ur displeasure)

[knize-strachkvas]

so i'm not going to watch boys planet bc a) i hate mnet and i don't trust them to treat the boys fairly b) i do not hate myself enough to go through that shit again when i know its just getting worse and worse with each season. that shit is rigged. we know it, mnet knows we know it.

BUT just the bits and pieces that i see online...oh my fucking god that show is so unserious and just so fucking stupid and they don't even bother to hide it anymore?

1. dividing the trainees into koreans (mnets favourites) and the rest of not-that-interesting trainees that are not fortunate enough to be koreans is just bullshit. like dividing them before the show aired during the trainee reveal? weird, but okay i guess. but not letting them perform together for the introduction performance and putting them according to their nationalities? what the actual fuck mnet. tell me one good reason why all nine.i members that are stuck there couldn't perform together when they are already debuted team? jiho and seowon performed as duo and winnie was put with another thai trainee? that was just unnecessary.

2. mnets pushing the narrative that the koreans trainees need to be better then the rest bc this is kpop and koreans just need to be the best in everything just probably creates unnecessary tension between the trainees. no mater how u edit the performances to make the korean trainees look way better and edit out the foreigners with actual talent, it will just crumble down bc mnets editing is shit and it just creates drama where i want just good vibes (yes this is mnet i know i will not get good vibes its not my first rodeo....i watched ioi's season i know shit or two)

3. jiwoong. thats it thats the tweet...no okay. honestly i got worried for jiwoong when he was announced as a contestant bc mnets is shit but worse, mnet is homophobic shit and hell i don't trust them to treat jiwoong right. for now, it seems like they are just using jiwoong for views. jiwoong is brave for saying out loud right at the beginning that he acted in bl drama and didn't try to push it aside. also everybody else playing their parts and being in love with him is just amusing and i hope they are enjoying it. jiwoong is collecting men everywhere he goes and honestly, good for him.

4. hui (and any other contestant that is in active group tbh) like im so fucking confused what the fuck is cube doing. we all know that cue is shit and is not good in dealing with crisis situation but ?!?! this one is stupid even by their standards. hui literary produced songs for mnets little shitshows before. he was a mentor for people who are now going to mentor him. that's just laughable?? hui doesn't deserve any of this. he is way too old for this shit. and in any mean i mean he is too old to be an active idol. hell no. but the rest of the trainees are more than 10 years younger. u can't want him to take care of a bunch of kids that should be in school and not in this circus. also, i dont even want to imagine how much it would have an impact on pentagon as a group - or any group in general. if a trainee that is already a member of an active group (so pentagon, nine.i, up10tion (what the fuck, why), ciipher etc) what the groups would do? would they have the same contract as x1 should have? bein half and half? i can imagine that could go as smoothly as any other mnets ambitious (stupid) plan. the boys would be overworked in no time and the time management? yeah, hell no. and yes it kinda worked with victon but swoo was back way sooner then they planned, or with nuest (good for them). on the other hand, it definitely didn't worked for anybody else with was mostly the companies fault by not taking the chance properly and mismanaging them.

5. the evil editing. we all know mnet is really good at evil editing but every damn year there are people believing it. like why????? mnet has its favourite and its so obvious. its actually so fucking painful to watch. it was obvious even just from the teasers. i understand that that's the point of the show. the more drama the more views for mnet. bad publicity is still a publicity :)

okay im done now. in conclusion, dont vote for a contestant that is a member of an active group (stan the group instead) and for the love of god and everything holy please dont trust mnet :)

[wanderrlust0]

-.-

idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.

[upsidedowngrass]

I am going to talk about Bryce bc I think people only talk about him if he's The Support Guy. It's always Liam is Airy's fav or Amelia is Airy's fav but Bryce was REJOINED and Liam was an OPTION!! If it was solely to make the others feel better wouldn't Airy have picked the guy that was with them longer aka Liam? And WITH Bryce's info being so hard to find combined with the possibility of Airy watching him during the 7 month hiatus (assuming he found the phobia after the fact) (1/4)

(put my response under a readmore bc oh my god this is a long response ??)

i think airy is DEF fascinated by bryce!!!! like on one hand he chooses to eliminate bryce before liam, so i think he does ALSO maybe have an interest in liam, and theres a chance he didnt have liam rejoin bc he was JUST eliminated, it wouldnt be interesting if he immediately brought him back! BUT its also like... he DEF has a fascination w bryce!!!!!! like the effort he wouldve had to go to just to get that img, and to figure out he has thalassophobia is like. i dont think he put nearly so much effort into finding out stuff abt the other characters. i think he likes to learn things about bryce and thinks hes interesting

the idea of airy killing charlie on purpse is a VERY interesting idea i havent considered before??? i will say that its incharacter for him to not put together how much risk hes putting other characters at, or to accidentally ignore them (what with the ending of one 17. he didnt even Acknowledge that none of the contestants were present where he was looking???), and it wouldnt be unrealistic for him to have said that and acted as if Oh im sure one of the adultsll move the baby or something. or he wont be in the way at all. its probably not very likely for him to be in the way anyway. hell be fine (he also seems to slowly adjust how he runs things, like teleporting tray off the pole before she falls after one contestant died and another broke a leg)

BUT also?? i think it being intentional is a super interesting read, bc it ALSO tracks. i dont think he likes killing the contestants, but he Does see it more as an inconvenience than an actual Problem, and if he only brought charlie for the purpose of showing everyone respawning it DOES impact how much he plans things and how its read how he feels abt the events in one. bc it WOULD track for airy to go like. well i dont want them to get hurt, but itll be quick, so it wont actually bother him. he probably wouldnt even remember it anyway. babies dont remember things that well right? hell be fine.

i think each season is more planned than the last BUT ur right!!!! within each season, the planning for contestants gradually gets more and more random!!! and as for it only taking a day for him to get the info on the s3 contestants, id guess it has smth to do with the fact that he already has a basis for them!!! whereas before, he was having to pick ppl he had Zero connection to, NOW hes picking characters he knows thru his previous contestants!! id imagine its easier to pick someone a person you ALREADY know abt knows and then find information on, than to pick a person out of billions of ppl and THEN find info on them

but yeah the decision to bring children into the competition is like. ABSURD to me. im glad he at least DIDNT bring another baby. but id think maybe airy picked kylie instead of brad bc it was easier to find info on her, but that OBVIOUSLY isnt the case for her image??? bradley HAS an image of himself on a computer????????? (and tbh brad def uses object facebook but thats neither here nor there) so maybe kylie was picked bccccc she interacted w bryce more often? maybe it was easier to find records of employees than bryces friend. if bryces only img was NOT a picture he took, maybe bryce isnt online much, so its hard to find out that he has a friend who is bradley, and easier to find out that he has a coworker??? DUNNO... at this pt im just throwing stuff out there

all of this DOES actually make me wonder, though, because all of hte contestants, in some way, MAY have friends and family, but theyre not especially prominent people (julien COULDVE been due to the nature of his work, but also a lot of artists arent very known, so its ambiguous. but either way, he def wasnt picked intentionally anyway so this doesnt rly apply to him)

bryce has like one friend and a coworker. liam has a friend that shows up but theres its unclear if theres anyone else, and if there IS, they dont show up at all. amelia explicitly mentions having friends and family who are probably worried about her, and charlotte has friends shown, and taylor has friends and family, and tomato has a mother, but even all these people still dont seem to have much in terms of being well known? it couldve just happened off screen, but these ppl disappearing (save for taylor and charlie, who were gone for a WAY shorter period) wasnt very. widely payed attention to

like most obviously it doesnt seem that ANYONE liam hitched a ride w recognized him. which wouldnt be super likely!! but it still makes me wonder if airy deliberately picked people who were like. VERY everyday ppl. people who wouldnt have it be ESP noticed if they disappeared. and if thats the case, i imagine it was a. no harm no foul type thing to him. have a fun game, send them home, nobody was even worried. this wouldnt change much but MAN am i thinkin abt it

[searchingformylostpan]

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/689677989720164/?mibextid=dXMIcH

This is what your mini trucks aspire to be lol

I was gonna send that to you too but I already sent you one thing after you said to not contact you (still v confused about that) so posting it here instead....

I thought using Sarah as an adjective would have been descriptive enough for you to understand why I felt the need to leave the other night..... 2021 was by far the most painfully traumatic year ever for me. 100% of that trauma is still raw unattended to wounds and they hurt. That's on me, I haven't delt with it past talking to you when I know I need more help than that, clearly....seeing you and her interact and she was being a bit flirty and you were offering to do all the things for her but like I couldn't even get you to sit down and have a waffle with me that afternoon. And the fact that you just wrote me off and didn't even bother to check if I was ok or coming back kinda like you didn't want me there. And then to see how you were talking to her...it really felt like you didn't want me there and I was getting all the bad Sarah feelings and I couldn't do that to myself again. I couldnt just sit back and let myself be hurt like that again, so I left. That was the only thing that I was comfortable doing in that moment, if I would have said something I would have just sounded like a psycho bc as you make painfully clear, were not together. And I get it, I'm the only one who can fix that, because of my "choices" as you call it. It's not choices, it's a disease and every time you say that it's all a choice you make me feel like such a fucking failure. It's just a choice just stop doing it, why are you still doing it if you don't want to be just stop? If I could I would. And no matter how I try to tell you that it's so much more than a choice, you still keep saying it and making me feel like shit.

Along the same lines, the people who don't make me feel like shit, are the ones who you have never had a single good thing to say about. The only times you mention them is just to make some pointless dig at their expense. So fucking what that Jake didn't pay the $20 to get this phone unlocked? I could have paid it but it wasn't necessary so I saved my money and told him to save his too. He stepped up the minute I got home from giving you back your phone and handed me this one not expecting anything in return. He's also filled up my gas tank a few times last month, bought me groceries countless times, and was here for me all of last year when you were off starting your new life with Melanie and trying to forget about how you broke up with me while I was nearly dead in the hospital. So what if he has a bit of a criminal record. It's really not that bad anyways. He's let me look at all of it , ALL of it . And there's nothing in it that makes me think any less of him. So yeah and every time you tell me what you think of him, or any of my friends, I take it incredibly personally. Because they're my chosen family, they're here for me and don't make me feel like shit for something I really can't control.

This is not my trying to win you back, this is just an explanation of where my head was at the other night. Bc you kinda threw a little temper tantrum last night and clearly didn't understand what it was that I felt. (And remember the time I said I could see you and Josh in a reflection on the shower curtain? Well I also thought I saw you kiss someone and then heard you and Josh talking about you having to pick one of us? You probably don't remember that, but I still dont know if it was real or not but it felt super fucking real. And your reaction when I said I saw you in the kitchen was not convinving me otherwise)

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning/day/evening, lovie! ig ive just burst (into tears) from the amount of love i felt to this gif. 'when its day FOR YOU' its 2:19 and ive had some drinks w/friends. yeah, we have fem, masc and neuter gender words. and it usually depends on the nouns gender its paired with. and the nouns gender depends on logic (like a girl is fem while in german girl is neuter) or just feelings nothing (night is fem). 'i typed my love actually so thats on google translate' 1)i figured you typed my love bc youd used it already 2) we say google translate sucks 3) musc is the main form of an adjective on its own so no wonder its translated like this. 'but theres no rap here?' idk TT i just love this speaking(?) part, we call it recitative but im not sure. theres one song that describes my taste in the best way possible. milyy (darling/honey). it has no eng subs (all the translations ive found are ugly) and it doesnt matter, just listen to the way it sounds and the music. i have no idea why theres a child in the vid bc?? ok the chorus literally sounds like 'Guess what ive been doing when you werent here? I was meeting my ex-lover. He promised me to show his new apartment And to try out his windowsills. And i put on my red gloves Despite him begging for stockings. Do you know, honey? (x2) Do yk what ive been doing while you were gone?' it doesnt really imply sex BUT it does have mentions of alcohol and the whole vibe isnt childish at all... but ok i love the song. 'you’ve made me like her again' a fanfact! i have such halseys last album (where those songs are from) vibes from all hotd fics. maybe all this royal aesthetic affects me like this. 'which is what her name is an anagram of' OMG fhsjd i never thought abt it! ig its not really a problem you couldnt read it as halsey. if it doesnt bother you too much, then its fine. your writings are still good shjs. and youre still big brained. 'thank you for reviving my interest in halsey' my pleasure<з you can take all the time universe gives us! yeah i put notifs but the main point is i dont have notifs in general HFJFKDH the sound is ALWAYS off so... my mom gets mad at me frequently and noone can contact me whenever they want. 'AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH' IM SO GLAD. its so beautifel and also meaningful like the cartoon itself! i used to love su sm TT 'my child' meow meow, catmom. 'dont be so ok with it' well mindset ig. 'i cant even read the russian symbols' AHAHS IM SORRY i forgot to type a latinised version. its zapekanka. k is k its a simple one. and a is a. and з is z, i usually use it for <з. and yeah!! youre so right with p! what a big brain! 'she’s literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada' oh its sad( actually its like 90% of russian classic literature and thats why i usually end up hating fem characters. or theyre just too... sweet and naive and all. i dislike all people with this type of character and its not my fault its 8/10 times women (in lit). i love characters that are interesting to me and it doesnt depend on the gender. ig im frequently seen as a sexist/homophobic just bc im judgemental... yeah not the best trait but i dont choose whos the one im going to hate based on THESE facts. yeah your face can annoy me, your voice can sound too pitchy for my liking or i just dont like your vibes BUT not bc youre a woman/man/gay or smth else. and MORE SO when you have a reason to dont like a person? it doesnt matter whos it. 'WHYYYYY>?' well i dont know ANY of them closely and im still judgemental. 'YOU GOT A MR WORLDWIFE TOO' YEah! pushkin is some kind of a literature hero here? well hes done a lot of things for it and the language and hes been a brilliant writer (hes called genius in schools). but he was SUCH a worldwife. hes written that he had more than 100 women. but he did have a wife closer to the end of his life. he also had a footfetish and put it in his most famous novel.. 'you keep saying cunning spain' well i like this image. meowmeow im glad you find it cute meowmeow. ig its all for the part 1 bc its already long. see you soon, my love<з

this is how my cat greats me sometimes T_T i miss my jinjin T_T MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW T_T

ig ive just burst (into tears) from the amount of love i felt to this gif.

<3 <3 <3 thats great. idk if ive told you already, i feel like i have, but my teacher says its good to cry 2 a week to flush out the dirt from your eyes. on another note, i was chopping onions for my grandma this morning and i CRIED SO BAD IT HURT LASFHLKASHFKLHASFASH

'when its day FOR YOU' its 2:19 and ive had some drinks w/friends.

you went drinking!!!???? omg i hope you were responsible with it. i only recently tried drinking when it was my best friend's birthday. i want to try it again because being drunk is so fascinating but also i cant do that because T_T i would die on my way home

yeah, we have fem, masc and neuter gender words. and it usually depends on the nouns gender its paired with. and the nouns gender depends on logic (like a girl is fem while in german girl is neuter) or just feelings nothing (night is fem).

in german girl is neuter ???? ok then. i dont understand enough about fem/masc words cos filipino is neutral everything we just have siya which is he/she/it everything lolol HAHAHAHAHAH

'i typed my love actually so thats on google translate' 1)i figured you typed my love bc youd used it already 2) we say google translate sucks 3) musc is the main form of an adjective on its own so no wonder its translated like this.

#1 big brained for that #2 she trying google on her last brain cell T_T #3 makes sense. boo men 👎

'but theres no rap here?' idk TT i just love this speaking(?) part, we call it recitative but im not sure.

i see. thats nice to know. i figured that with all the music you sent me. i personally dont like it. i guess you like spoken poetry with background.

theres one song that describes my taste in the best way possible. milyy (darling/honey). it has no eng subs (all the translations ive found are ugly)

HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHA I FELT THE UGLY TRANSLATIONS HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA i love the kitties and the cutie bb girl <3 if i had to guess what i means based on the song and the video, is it about wanting to growing up and like expectations as an adult? like 'i cant wait to be an adult' but also be careful what you ask for?

and it doesnt matter, just listen to the way it sounds and the music. i have no idea why theres a child in the vid bc?? ok the chorus literally sounds like 'Guess what ive been doing when you werent here? I was meeting my ex-lover. He promised me to show his new apartment And to try out his windowsills. And i put on my red gloves Despite him begging for stockings. Do you know, honey? (x2) Do yk what ive been doing while you were gone?' it doesnt really imply sex BUT it does have mentions of alcohol and the whole vibe isnt childish at all... but ok i love the song.

[jaw on the floor] my gosh boy was i wrong T_T WTF WHY IS THERE A CHILD HERE HELP T_T WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW DROPPED AFTER READING THIS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SUCH A BIG BRAIN MOMENT FOR ME IM SO 💀💀💀💀

'you’ve made me like her again' a fanfact! i have such halseys last album (where those songs are from) vibes from all hotd fics. maybe all this royal aesthetic affects me like this.

interesting to know. i mean i think each of our experience affect us as a person so it goes both ways.

'which is what her name is an anagram of' OMG fhsjd i never thought abt it! ig its not really a problem you couldnt read it as halsey. if it doesnt bother you too much, then its fine. your writings are still good shjs. and youre still big brained. 'thank you for reviving my interest in halsey' my pleasure<з

nah it bothered me so much my brain was so frustrated i hated seeing her and her name because i kept reading it wrong. i read her as hasley in my head for a long time even though i knew it was wrong then i only shut up my brain by reading at loud and suddenly the world was silent again lashflashflasf and i wasn't bothered by her name anymore

this was the era of halsey that i could not pronounce HAHHAH

you can take all the time universe gives us! yeah i put notifs but the main point is i dont have notifs in general HFJFKDH the sound is ALWAYS off so... my mom gets mad at me frequently and noone can contact me whenever they want.

thank you i need all the time in the world cos school T_T. also ur so me fr tbh i personally dont care about notifs even though its on i just ignore everyone T_T HAHAHHA

'AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH' IM SO GLAD. its so beautifel and also meaningful like the cartoon itself! i used to love su sm TT

ive heard it on tiktok before and i wondered where it was from so thank you for that <3 i love the cartoon too but i never got to watch it play out, you know, like on tv theyd play the episodes out of order and i just ??? yeah i never even learned about stevens mom whats up with her

'my child' meow meow, catmom.

<3

'dont be so ok with it' well mindset ig.

DONT BE SO OK WITH IT

'i cant even read the russian symbols' AHAHS IM SORRY i forgot to type a latinised version. its zapekanka.

slay zapekanka

k is k its a simple one.

IT IS WOW I THOUGHT IT WASNT MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE actually idk when i started telling myself it wasnt a k lol HAHAH

and a is a. and з is z, i usually use it for <з. and yeah!! youre so right with p! what a big brain!

purr thank you for the brief lesson <3

'she’s literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada' oh its sad( actually its like 90% of russian classic literature and thats why i usually end up hating fem characters. or theyre just too... sweet and naive and all. i dislike all people with this type of character and its not my fault its 8/10 times women (in lit).

SAME I HATE IT WHEN WOMEN ARE STUPID LIKE SIR HAVE YOU MET A WOMAN? AND HAVE YOU MET A man (derogatory) russian literature L for that 😞🍅thats why i like making my fem characters chew their male interests. feminism.

i love characters that are interesting to me and it doesnt depend on the gender. ig im frequently seen as a sexist/homophobic just bc im judgemental... yeah not the best trait but i dont choose whos the one im going to hate based on THESE facts.

T_T i think ur just judgy T_T your ire has no boundaries T_T HELP T_T you should maybe work on that ? but i totally get not liking weak characters

yeah your face can annoy me, your voice can sound too pitchy for my liking or i just dont like your vibes BUT not bc youre a woman/man/gay or smth else. and MORE SO when you have a reason to dont like a person? it doesnt matter whos it.

T_T 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀like i said, your ire knows no bounds

'WHYYYYY>?' well i dont know ANY of them closely and im still judgemental.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HELP T_T

'YOU GOT A MR WORLDWIFE TOO' YEah! pushkin is some kind of a literature hero here? well hes done a lot of things for it and the language and hes been a brilliant writer (hes called genius in schools). but he was SUCH a worldwife. hes written that he had more than 100 women. but he did have a wife closer to the end of his life. he also had a footfetish and put it in his most famous novel..

HE HAD A WHAT NOW actually i dont want to know more about his footfetish, you do you boo. BUT OMG he like rizal for real, although yeah he didnt get married he just 💀 then never had a wife cos he just 👻 but idk if his lovers reached 100 💀💀💀💀💀💀

'you keep saying cunning spain' well i like this image. meowmeow im glad you find it cute meowmeow.

T_T MEOW MEOW

ig its all for the part 1 bc its already long. see you soon, my love<з

YEs yes p2 <3

xxx

[warmthintouches]

Me: is there anything that you are absolutely against

Him: idk? I think I'd know of something came up in a convo, but otherwise probably not.

Me: okay

Him: yeah never really had any boundaries up until this point. Its all been pretty basic.

Me: thats not a bad thing really

Him: not really

Me: you didn't ask me the same question

Him: I figured we already went over your, but what are you're absolute no nos?

Me: what did I say they were before

Him: I don't remember but its probably saved in the chat somewhere...

Me: nbd

Him: my memory is shit im sorry

Me: whats my fav color

Him: Is it worse to not answer or to answer completely wrong lol

Me: I guess just be and honest and say you don't remember

Him: Red was the first thing that came to mind, but then i thought yellow and now i confused myself on if either of them are correct

Me: red is my least fav color

Him: well where did I pull that from then?

Me: no idea.

Him: im guessing yellow isn't up there either then

Me: nope

Him: and its not a typical "girly" color like purple or pink right?

Me: nope

Him: I feel really bad that I can't remember something this basic

Me: I remember yours...

Him: I feel like mine changes depending on my mood, but what did I tell you

Me: Blue, but specifically that one football teams color blue...like a carolina blue? Sorta. And you have a shirt you wear thats got a similar color on it. Bc I told you it looked hot on you one day.

Him: Now i feel really bad, cuz you even got the shade right too

Me: My memory is really good when it comes to things like someone's fav things...colors, animals, all of it. I think its important if you like someone even as a friend.

Him: Idk why its just not coming to me tonighy

Me: its fine

Him: im really sorry

Me: its fine lolol

Him: We had to go over that during one of our rapid fire question periods.. and im getting jumbled

Me: yeah we probably did

Him: Im just running through so many colors and i cant find one that jogs my memory

Me: you're going to feel really dumb when I finally tell you what it is

Him: like I dont already feel dumb...

Me: its fine, like I said....

Him: 😑😑

Me: Do you remember my fav season? Or if I have siblings? Or what state I would i would chose to live in?

Him: Holy shit, my memory is absolute ass

Me: I figured lol

Him: is your favorite state Washington?

Me: good guess but no. Its like my second choice tho.

Him: dont tell me its colorado

Me: nope I don't understand the hype of colorado...

Him: I feel like Winter is your favorite season (i hope)

Me: I am feeling like you don't remember any of my fav things bc you don't care...ill be honest. But! You got one right. Winter is my fav.

Him: My memory is honestly shit, im shocked i dont remember most of these

Me: 😕

Him: I feel absolutely terrible

Me: its okay

Him: its really not

Me: Idk why it bothers me so bad...it started when you didn't remember what I disliked sexually...if we're gonna bang you should probably lock that one in...

Him: choking you don't like?

Me: not the main thing I said I dislike. I want to try more choking but not too tight.

Him: I dont remember if it was the main thing, but wasnt there something you didnt like with spanking too hard

Me: Yeah there was that...im more of a squeeze person rather than spanking. But....the main thing I dislike is 1) don't fucking do anything weird with my feet. Thats gross. 2) don't fucking spit on me. I fucking hate it.

Him: I dont actually remember bringing either of those up.. but i hate feet myself and the spitting thing is also weird anyway

Me: We talked about both of those things once....it was part of the same convo where you told me you once had a girl who was into the whole like sexual preditor thing.... God, why can I remember every thing someone says but I can't remember my debit card number.

Him: Oh shit your right.. think i moved more passed those because im not even into them

Me: 👍👍

Him: 👍

Me: Do you want to know my fav color or shoukd I even bother? 😅

Him: I do wanna know, cuz if its something i thought of imma be pissed

Me: Too bad 😈

Him: you know what....I deserve that...

Me: You do...I remember all your stuff. Cant even remember my fav color....sheesh 😅 I'm just teasing btw

Him: Im seriously gonna be so pissed at myself

Me: You really are...I personally feel like if you paid any attention at all its going to seem very obvious once I tell you.

Him: Like i said imma feel awful

Me: ....just let's me know how important i am to you so 👍 good to know for future reference 😅😂 im sorry that was...a low blow

Him: Keep piling on the guilt why dont you

Me: I'm sorry. I just...feel very forgettable or unnoticeable 90% of the time. Especially at work when half the time no one even knows im there until like midway through the day. So when you want to bone me so bad but you don't even remember my fav color it stings a little

Him: I get it, and i dont help matters most of the time

Me: its okay

Him: You keep saying that and i know its complete bullshit because it hurts you and i know it does

Me: But I like to pretend to be chill about it.

Him: You need to pretend with me, come out and tell me im a piece of shit or whatever.. i understand that ive fucked up in this scenario....You dont need to pretend* (jesus my fingers cant follow my brain)

Me: But if I don't pretend to be chill about it then I might like..scare you off or something. And I dont think you're a piece of shit, just wish I mattered enough for you to remember those things about me...

Him: But pretending just isnt being genuine to either of us, if i fuck up then tell me its not gonna run me off

Me: okay...

Him: Like ive admitted that im an awful person for not remember these things

Me: But you're not really. I'm just a weirdo who remembers that kind of stuff. I shouldn't expect you to remember those things...but then I get mad bc it hurts when you don't.

Him: Then tell me that, dont tell me its okay when its obviously not okay

Me: okay, im sorry ill work on that..

Him: okay good, and ill work on my memory...I promise

Me: 😘☺ so...do you want to know my favorite color?

Him: please? 🥺

Me: forest gree

Him: I Sat here for the last like 15 minutes thinking it was like a dark evergreen type color, but didnt wanna be wrong again and make things worse

Me: 😂😂

Him: Im so fucking mad now.. i had it and wasnt confident enough

Me: 😂 don't be mad at yourself. Like I said, I shouldn't expect you to remember those types of things. You were so close dark evergreen tho!

Him: I shoukd have remembered that.. I really should have...What makes it so obvious tho??

Me: Bc I am constantly outside and always wanting to be in the forest?? I've told you several times that I would just like to be in the forest?? And my fav trees are pine trees. And my fav place to be is in the woods.

Him: Why did I not put that together to remember forest green... your right it was too damn obvious

Me: Idk? Bc you don't care to retain things i talk about? 😅😂Maybe its just me. Im always outside somewhere when the weather allows. I thought it was obvious, it probably wasn't.

Him: its super obvious...im just a piece of shit

Me: well now you know.

Him: yes I do, and I promise I will not forget again. Locking it in my vault in my brain.

[unknowndiamond123]

i’m not quite sure why i just feel so sad and empty at the end of the day, most days. 

i feel like i have nothing going for me. i feel naggy at my husband bc he plays so much, and i want his attention, but it’s not like he does not play games and he hangs out for a bit. but then he goes back to them and he’s like “but babe i did spend some time off, i took off a lot to be with you.” yeah like one and a half hours, while the rest of your day has been playing video games. and it seems to be like this all the freaking time. and he gets so angry too when he plays and he yells and screams and it startles me and it makes me mad, which makes me not want to hang out with him in the game room. i just feel like i’m needy and i don’t know how to change our life. i want him to quit playing games all together. i want to feel not second best to his stupid games and his stupid online friends.

there’s also this stupid healthy habits diet i’m trying out because of my friend because she’s a health coach, and i thought i could try it bc i’m so tired of looking in the mirror and hating myself for my body and for the way i look. i’m trying to hard to follow this diet and it seems like nothing is working for me. all the while my health coach is loosing 6 lbs already in 11 days while i feel like i’m following all my fueling times, measuring how much i eat, drinks a ton of water, and feel like i can’t get anything to loose at all. and i’m so sick of seeing her post about all the good encouraging things she’s going through because of course her life seems so perfect. she’s happy with how she looks, she loves her job that she’s passionate about, she’s encouraging other’s and it just seems like nothing is going wrong in her life.

i just feel lonely and i miss my friends and i hate making new friends. i hate change. i want to live the life i had before i came to florida. somehow i seemed way happier then.

i feel like my life is so dull and there’s nothing to live for. i have a decent job but it’s nothing i’m head over heels for, and i can’t find anything that i totally love doing. i don’t have any hobbies that i enjoy doing. i feel like if i want to do something i want to be the best at it because i know in reality there’s nothing im good at when there’s billions of people who can be way better at it than me.

i want to travel. i think i would want to take pictures. of people, of animals, of landscapes. just cool things that i get to see with my own two eyes and share with other’s. but i know that i’m not the first one to come up with that revelations and there’s literally millions of photographers all doing the same thing. so why bother follow that dream where there’s one and a billion other people doing it too.

and of course there’s my stupid friendship problem. i dont know if it’s just me or the others but i feel like ever since my wedding, all my friendships have just gone down hill. 3 of my bridesmaids had a total fall out with me all because of stupid drama caused by my sister-in-law, and i barely talk to them now and i have all these photos and memories with them and remember wow what a fun time that was, wow what a shitty time it was after my wedding. and now i have another friend who feels like i’ve been cold towards her and just because of maybe a little misunderstanding she now feel uncomfortable around me and doesn’t want to even have lunch with me because the whole situation just stresses her out and she doesn’t want to cause her baby to be born early or something and cause extra stress on her. that’s such bullshit. everything is bullshit. this fucking laptop i’m typing on is complete bullshit because more than half the keys on this thing is sticky because of my own idiocy and spilling hot chocolate on it.

everything is just the absolute worst and i just want to kill myself sometimes. i hate feeling like my life is nothing but boring and every day is groundhog’s day.

same old routine. trying to change but nothing budging. seeing my friends have a way better, way happier life than i am at the moment. i just want everything to end. i’m so sick of living my life. it’s boring. it’s useless. i hate my life.

[traumxrei-archive]

FUCK SHIT WAIT I DONT THINK I ADDED THE CHARACTER I WABTED 😭 #2 WITH JAMIL WHOOPS SORRY ,, ALSO CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE

【 more than just a friend 】

prompt #2: They were dancing together but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and now they were both standing here, awkwardly staring at each other (ft. jamil viper)

gender neutral! prefect, slight suggestive at the end, 600 followers event ficlet

author's note: DW ABT IT ! i knew who you'd request anyway sjfjff esp after your response to my jamil fic- thanks for the congratulations, also i'd just like to apologize for a second bc i was gonna make this fluff and then my brain went, "but what if jealous jamil...? dancing w/ jealous jamil...?" and so uh. yeah. this happened... i hope you like it anyway :D

Ten minutes. That was the amount of time he agreed to when they had continuously badgered him earlier. Ten minutes of dancing and he would have their help in cleaning up after the banquet.

Jamil didn't know if that was a foolish decision or an easy deal; especially not when they were dancing in front of him. He couldn't keep his eyes off them, even as he danced just a few feet away. The way the oscillating lights shadowed their face further tempted him into stepping even closer.

There was a soft laugh that tore him out of his staring, "Having a good time now?"

"I didn't say I'd have a bad time," Jamil sighed, trying to sound as bothered as possible by this predicament. "I said that I had work to do. And you have to uphold your end of the deal."

They danced just out of his reach, "Of course I will. Just keep having fun." Jamil couldn't help but follow them; where their steps led he didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted to keep them close.

That was until the ebb of the music abruptly panned out, Kalim's voice blasting over the speakers, "I wanna slow it down a bit and give our legs some rest! So grab a partner and enjoy the slow song everyone!!"

The slow song that started had Jamil freezing in his tracks. Looking around, many of the partygoers had grabbed others to share a simple dance with. He saw it all, waltz to tango, and even just merry spinning. Then he looked across from himself, at them. They were also looking around, wide-eyed and Jamil couldn't help the feeling of awkwardness sitting at the bottom of his stomach.

"Ready to go, partner?" They said, offering up a hand. "Your ten minutes isn't over yet." Jamil opened his mouth, intent on rejecting them before he saw someone tap their shoulder.

"H-hi, you weren't dancing yet, so I wondered if you had a partner...?" The random student had asked sheepishly. Jamil felt a flare of red hot anger shoot through him, entangled with jealousy as he watched the lovestruck look on the student's face. What was he...?

"I'm sorry, but that's up to him," They tilted their head toward him, and...that's right. He felt the anger wane just a little bit. He hadn't rejected them yet. He could still be selfish— and hold on to them as if they were his own.

So he gave the student the politest smile that he could muster; surely filled to the brim with barely-contained venom, "I'm so sorry, I'll be dancing with them this evening."

Jamil very quickly took their hand in his, spinning them away from the student's surprised figure; intent on having them all to himself. If he wasn't already watching them closely, he would've missed that shit-eating grin on their face.

"What?"

"You got jealous didn't you?" They teased, slotting an arm around his waist. It wasn't a traditional stance, but it allowed them to speak to each other without anyone hearing.

Jamil was quick to scoff, "Why would I be jealous over him?" Yes, why had he been angry in the first place? Was it at someone taking away someone that he was interested in? Wait a second...interested in...?

His attention was drawn again when they muffled a chuckle, "You're really bad at this huh? Maybe you liked me more than you initially thought?" He flicked their forehead; too gentle to actually hurt but an admonishment all the same.

"Don't push your luck," Jamil was lucky that he had years of keeping his emotions in check to help him stay unruffled. Their shoulder bumped against his, and he dragged them into a spin. "What about you? Why would you spend your time helping me?"

"Well, I like you."

"You...like me...?" Jamil tried hard not to seem too shocked, but he felt his stomach jolting at the words and he was sure his eyes had widened.

Did they just...? Was that a confession...?

"Of course," They shrugged, and Jamil slid a hand across their back to pull them closer. "You're my friend. If I didn't like you then why would I offer to help you?"

"Hah," Jamil rolled his eyes hard. "So that's what you meant?" Well now he was annoyed.

A furrow of their brow, "Yes?" They really didn't know what they said wrong? How naive. He wouldn't let them go so easily. No one toyed with his feelings like that.

"So, if I was to kiss you," Jamil said daringly, a finger brushing languidly agains their lips; across the curve of their jaw. "It wouldn't mean anything?"

A deep satisfaction bloomed in his chest when he saw the way they started to fluster; their feet stumbling carelessly, "W-what? I-I mean— Are you being serious, Ja-"

There was a bright cheery ringtone, and an embarrassed noise left them as they grappled for something. Jamil studied their face while they were still close. The curve of their cheek and the small puffs of air leaving their lips from dancing. The way their eyes blinked a little too quickly; clearly still confused by his words.

He would have to kiss them. Straight away. Immediately. Now. Kiss them hard and show them that he wasn't someone who was content with staying "just a friend."

A sheepish smile grew their lips as they held up their phone, "I set a timer for ten minutes so I wouldn't waste your time..."

And Jamil took that in stride, detangling his limbs from them slowly, "Then. I'll see you in the back for the second half of our agreement." He found that he missed their presence by his side; their warmth comforting him just a little. But he had a point to prove. There was no being soft now.

"No wait, you still haven't told me if you were being serious or not—? Jamil!" He could hear their hurried footsteps as they stumbled after him through the crowd. He was glad that they couldn't see his face. Because there was no way to hide the smug smirk on his face as he led them slowly away from the crowds. They had enticed him earlier, so wasn't it just fair if he enticed them back?

Like a snake that lured its prey with a rattle of its tail, Jamil was setting up his own trap. And they wouldn't know what happened until he had them wrapped around his fingers. Once they got away from the crowds, well...he was going to make sure they knew just how serious he was.

thank you for reading the jealous jamil rottt wwoooooo !! here are my masterlists if you'd like to read more :D

[alreadyblondenow]

A not so Cinderella story

“I’m the only one in this room that knows you don’t have panties underneath this beautiful dress”

Pairing: football play! Jeno Lee x female cheerleader! reader

Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, enemies to lovers

WC: 4,507k

Warnings: mentions of food, as requested the reader here is a cheerleader so the character is fit. Please dont come at me. Public oral sex (female receiving) (inside school classroom), swearing, unprotected sex, mentions of rough sex, the sex was just inspired by Diggity Jeno hahaha, a lot of cliché moments here, mentions of bruises and dislocated bones (bc athletes) NOTHING DESCRIPTIVE IT WAS JUST MENTIONED

A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I get my internet connection back. Part of Request Party. Also Jeno has been wrecking me lately.

—————

Peanut butter and jelly. That’s the perfect way to describe you and Lee Jeno.

The famous sandwich is known with its unbalancing tastes of flavors where the tastes of peanut butter and jam always fights in your mouth, but that’s what makes it so delicious. Something so unfit, unbalanced, contradicts, but still they’re better together. And just like the sandwich, you and Jeno are two different mixing flavors.

As the captain of the football team, and you as the captain of the squad, people around you expect that you ‘mix’ well with each other to the point that they expect you to be dating by this time.

“Nope. Not gonna happen. I hate him, he hates me. Let’s just accept that,” you whine to your friends as they ask you to take Jeno as your date for the dance this weekend. “It’s an exciting masquerade party, please let me enjoy my night without that dick ruining it,”

“And speaking of Jeno’s dick. Look at the size of that... Mmm,” one of your friends said and pointed to the side of the field where the football team are practicing and Lee Jeno’s shorts are just... so thin that his big dick is obvious.

“RIP to that pussy he’s fucking after dance...” another one comments.

“Okay, continue your drooling after practice. I need your full attention now. Let’s go! Move your asses!”

And just like that the captain in you is out in no time, earning respect from your friends and even impressing the guys from the football team. Of course everyone admired your leadership, skills and well... hot body. That’s why Jeno’s focus is nowhere to found the moment he heard you shouting from across the field and seeing your nice ass and-

“You can always say that you like her,” Jaemin disturbs Jeno’s thoughts with heavy breathing, sweating handsomely and waving at the students who calls him.

“Yeah, It’s not that simple,” Jeno said.

“Psh. Of course it is. HEY Y/N!!!! JENO SAYS YOU’RE SEXY!”

Jeno’s eyes went big and tried stopping Jaemin but its too late. You heard him already. Everyone, heard him.

“Stop staring at my ass Jeno, go back to practice” you said sternly and rolled your eyes at him. That was hot, Jeno thought.

You see, just like peanut butter and Jelly, you’re two different amazing beings. Each has unique personalities and charm, but you can’t see the good things in Jeno because you’re always blinded by his cocky attitude. But for Jeno, whenever you’re mad at him, annoyed to the core or whenever you talk back at him, he always finds it sexy. Until one day he fell for you, by just looking at you long and hard one perfect afternoon at the cafeteria while you’re busy reading something.

As the school dance commence and everyone had unique masks on their faces tonight, to be honest you quite enjoy it because somehow you feel invisible. You don’t feel popular and people are just so comfortable with talking to you, not knowing that you’re Y/n. And the only people who knew it was you was of course your friends, and you are having a great time.

“She’s the one wearing a white ball gown,” Jaemin whispers to Jeno under the loud party music and howling teenagers, “you owe me captain, it’s not that easy to make her friends talk,”

“Psh. Of course it is, you’re Na Jaemin,” Jeno pats his friend’s shoulder as a thanks and walked towards you with a smile in his face. Confident that you won’t shoo him away because you don’t know that he’s Jeno.

“Looks like I found my princess,” he said with all his might. Looking so handsome and perfect even with his mask on. You can’t help but accept the compliment and flirt back. So you turned towards him, flashing a big and excited smile and so thrilled that someone finally had the guts to call you princess.

“I thought you’d never show up! Now, dance with me!” you reached for his hand and the masked prince immediately twirled you.

Everything was suddenly beyond perfect that you felt like every second was a beautiful well written scene in a fairytale book.

It’s the way he holds you while dancing, telling you the right words that goes straight to your heart and immediately give you a smile. A kind of smile that only the right person can give you. But of course, you don’t know that yet.

As the night became even more perfect for the two of you, not knowing each other’s names just makes everything more thrilling and interesting but you promised to each other to stay true to each other when the clock strikes midnight and everyone has to take off their masks.

And to maximize the fun, you and Jeno ended up making out in one of the empty classrooms while everyone is busy dancing and enjoying the program. And by the way, it was a passionate kiss, not like those innocent kissing-a-stranger type of kiss that you see in movies. You both didn’t care at that moment whether you know each other or not.

“Fuck- I have to go back before midnight, I kind of... have an important duty during the event,” you said. Careful not to tell him that the captain of the cheerleading squad is needed to crown the voted prom queen.

“Understood,” Jeno says because he is the one crowning the voted prom king. “Does your lips always tastes sweet?” he asked with a very sexy tone, lifting you effortlessly with his incredible strength and making you sit on the desk. He reaches dow to your dress and went under it, completely startling you with the way he holds your thighs and kiss your knee, inner thighs, until he reaches your clothed pussy. Kissing the wet center and drownig with the feeling of his tongue shamelessly ruining your panties.

Bravely, Jeno removed your panties without breaking the soft kisses he’s giving you, putting your panties straight in his pocket for safe keeping and to make sure that you have no choice but to go back to him after midnight.

“Oh fuck-“ you moaned softly, covering your own mouth while the man in between your legs is giving you kitten licks on your pussy but intensifying everything when he spread your folds and focused on your clit. Licking it fast and kissing it like it it was your lips. It was unbearable, and this time two hands are covering your mouth to muffle you moans because you knew that what you’re doing right now can jeopardize your cheerleading career.

“Close- ooh, fuck. Right there please, faster. Ahh!”

You don’t know but Jeno is smiling right now, happy and contented that he get to do this with you. And in a matter of seconds, your legs are shaking and wanting to be closed so bad, but Jeno is giving you oral like he had never licked a pussy in a year and stopped your legs from closing to torture you further with his tongue.

Then suddenly, you heard your name being called and you made Jeno stop and quickly went down from the desks with weak legs, not having any other choice but to face everyone even after having a nice orgasm just a few minutes earlier.

You feel sorry for your prince of course because you literally kicked him and bolted away without any other words, not even a smile.

“Sorry I’m late, I was in the comfort room handling my tummy ache,” you cleared your throat and did what you had to do. A few minutes later, Jeno is now crowing the voted prom king and you didn’t bother looking at him because you knew he will look so handsome tonight. So you just stood there in the corner of the stage focusing on your weak legs, and feel Jeno stood beside you afterwards. Watching the the prom king and queen dance at the corner, both with tired smile and hearts yearning to be with each other again, suddenly Jeno spoke to you.

“I’m the only one in this room that knows you don’t have panties underneath this beautiful dress” he whispered beside you with a small smirk that only you can notice.

And the moment you lift your head to face him, you see you le prince.

Jeno is your prince. The prince who just gave you a mind blowing orgasm just a few minutes back.

“Lee Jeno- what the fuck. What have you done,” you said quietly, trying to control your reactions in front of the entire school.

“Date me and I’ll give it back to you”

“No thanks, you can keep it- just please dont tell anyone what happened to us.”

And just like that both of your happy endings are cancelled for the night. He felt broken, you felt guilty. But he can’t just finish this night without a fight.

“Fine. At least let me drive you home” he said bitterly.

“Fine”

The drive was quiet as expected. No one saw you get inside Jeno’s car, you made sure of it. To be honest you wanted to apologize to him for the kick earlier, but you figured it will make everything even more awkward. So forget it.

When he had finally pulled in front of your house, neither of you started moving as if you didn’t want this night to end badly than it already is.

“I had a great time...” you started, hoping that it’s okay to even say ‘thank you’

“Can’t you see that I’m trying my best here?” he said and it turned quiet again, “I like you Y/n,”

“Are you sure?” Are the only words that came out from you.

“A hundred percent sure. If you don’t let me date you even just for a short period of time to prove my feelings to you... I might cry while driving home,”

“And that’s fucking dangerous. Okay okay,” you were panicking at this moment “I accept your offer. Please, just drive safe. You’re making me nervous,”

Jeno smiled from ear to ear upon hearing your decision. Even though you didn’t actually accepted his offer because you wanted to date him too,it’s fine. Jeno is willing to work hard for you.

Day after day Jeno ask you if you’re free for the most awaited date but you try so hard to avoid him. It was not easy to hide your ‘relationship’ and to be honest it’s starting to annoy you.

One awful day after practice, it was the weekend and only the squad and the football team is in campus for practice. It was a tough and ugly day, so you decided to wait for everyone to finish showering before you start cleaning yourself.

The water was nice and the warm feeling of the showers just relaxes you to the max and enjoy the running water. You take this opportunity to sort out your thoughts...but someone disturbed your peace again.

You feel him hold you by the waist and encircle his arms around it, head rests by the crook of your neck and even by just feeling his embrace, you knew that Jeno is tired too. That he had a bad day too and you didn’t want to make things worst for the both of you.

“The door was open, I locked it for you” he said quietly. The tiredness was even obvious through the way he speaks.

And knowing that Jeno is using you to comfort himself, you just let him do what he wants as a way to give back to the comfort and company that he’s giving you now.

Wet kisses were place on your shoulder and neck, his strong arms kept you close to him until your ass is so close to his cock that it’s poking your ass cheeks but you just let it be. To be honest you love the feeling of what’s happening now, you feel so close to Jeno just like the night during the dance.

You turned around to face him, only to find his face full of dirt from practice, exhausted expression and silence. He was never silent when he’s around you, and that’s how you confirmed that it was indeed a bad day.

“Want to talk about it?” You offered and Jeno just rests his forehead on yours, letting the water run through your naked bodies. Hands all over each other, no funny business just providing comfort. You took initiative to clean his face with your soap and pour shampoo on his hair, washing it gently as he lets you do what you want.

And finally, you see a hint of smile from his face and you cant help but to smile back.

You didn’t do anything stupid in the showers with Jeno, you just literally had shower with him while he keeps you close but it felt that you did something so intimate together. Like a couple who passionately had sex in bed.

After cleaning yourselves Jeno reached for your towel and wrapped you nicely, looking at your boobs without feeling ashamed because you’re looking at his cock too. If it was a normal day, you’d have sex right then and there, but you both don’t want it as of the moment.

“Wait here don’t get dressed yet,” he said when you’re back in the locker rooms.

And when he came back still wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, he dropped on bended knee as if he’s going to propose. But instead of reaching for your hand he reached for your leg, and made you wear the underwear that he took from you during the dance. “I washed it myself,” he said and placed a quick soft kiss on your waist before he gets up.

It was a sweet gesture. Not normal, but it was sweet and you liked it. He got up, turned his back and left you to finish putting your clothes. You wonder if he’ll wait for you outside because truth be told you don’t want this to end yet.

After you finish drying your hair and making yourself decent again, hoping that someone is waiting for you outside already. You saw Jeno waiting for you outside the school beside his car, looking so handsome on fresh new clothes with the cutest smile. Of course he waited.

“How was your day?” he finally asked you.

“Bad,” you answered and took a big bite on your hotdog sandwich. “I pushed my team so hard today that everyone just hated me during practice,”

“Same thing happened to me, me and Haechan almost got into a fight in the middle of practice earlier. I guess this what happens when we don’t practice at the same place,” he joked but his intentions were cute. “I’m not sure if were going to win this season. If we don’t, I would have to wave goodbye to my dream college”

“Jeno, we’re aiming at the same college, and knowing what they look for an athlete, it’s impossible that you won’t get scouted. I mean, you’re the reason why we keep winning. College football is no joke, so hang in there just do your best”

“College cheerleading is no joke either, you have to get in for me. I’m not taking cheers from a stranger it had to be you,” he made you giggle and let out small laughs that echoes around his car. You just nod at him and wiped the ketchup from his lips.

“Thank you and I’m sorry I’m always an asshole when it comes to you,” you said perfectly ruining the mood but Jeno did not let that happen.

“And for someone who used to hate each other, we sure are better when we work together,” he said, leaning closer to you for a kiss that you didn’t avoid. “Watch me win you fair and square,”

You smiled at what he said and returned the kiss to shut him up. And the next thing you know, you’re making out with Lee Jeno in his car in the middle of an empty fast food parking lot.

“You’re the first boy I ever kissed, Jeno, and I want you to be the last.... I mean you’re the first sincere kiss-“

“I get it, I get it,” he said and continue kissing you again.

After that fateful day, you’ve been each other’s rocks and support system. Meeting under the bleachers, showering last so you could shower in peace together after every weekend practice, and have secret dates whenever you want to. It was a beautiful time even though you’re not yet officially together. And that proper date he was meaning to give you, finally happened and you feel bad for avoiding this amazing moment to happen.

“Okay, I think we should stop” Jeno cut the kiss when you’re both getting too carried away. Knowing that his parents are away and you have the house all for yourselves just makes everything even more dangerous now. But instead of stopping you pushed him on his bed and went on top of him. Putting both of your legs on each of his sides and earning a cute giggle from him. “Alright, if this is what you wanted”

Jeno then traded places with you, putting you beneath him effortlessly and kissing every exposed skin he sees while slowly lifting your shirt and unclasping your bra effortlessly. Cupping your boobs and kneading them gently while he makes you crazy with his touch and the way his tongue swipes on your lips and dominates the kiss with that powerful tongue.

When he removed his shirt, you expected to see a very hot body, a perfectly sculpted abs, and his strong arms. You were prepared to see that. What you didn’t expect to see were the scars and bruises he got from practice and from his past games.

“Hey, don’t mind the scars. They don’t hurt anymore,” he reached for your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. Even though his body was all ruined like this, he looks so happy in life and this current moment. You then realized that Jeno is more than football and his cocky attitude. He’s a man who loves the game and is willing to do everything for his dream.

And that.... fucking turned you on that you attacked him with kisses and quickly removed your pants, Jeno did the same with quick movements until you’re both wearing only your underwear and ready to do it for the first time. He was the first one to remove his boxers briefs and thats the time when you remember how your friends drooled over Jeno’s big dick. It was true.

And that’s going inside you. Every inch of that veiny, thick cock of Jeno.

He removed your panties next, kissing your legs as he swiftly pull it down you thighs and expose your pussy to him. Whispering sweet words, comforting and filthy ones to balance this beautiful moment. You smiled when he pulled away from kissing you and finally lining his cock to your entrance.

Pumping his cock in between your opened legs and in front of your wet pussy, he started to tease you with the tip of his thick cock. Up and down, Jeno made you feel how raw he’s going to fuck you tonight. He started kissing and touching your body, slowly pushing in your tight hole and stealing your breath away, making you breath so heavily and grip his strong shoulders as he oh so slowly put his entire cock inside you.

“Does it feel nice?” You struggled talking but you managed to let out decent words. He nodded and rolled his hips, making you both moan and hold each other tightly. That’s how nice Jeno feels around you.

He gave you a few gentle thrust, stretching you good so won’t get hurt when he starts fucking you hard. You watch his cock go in and out of your pussy, and you can’t help but feel proud that it fits perfectly. “I love seeing your smile,” he said when he caught you smiling. He kisses the top of your breast, softly and just making you feel crazy with his soft lips around your nipples. Suck it good and twirling his hot tongue around it until your nipples are hard and swollen.

You didn’t notice that he has been fucking and giving you harder and faster thrust that his bed is starting to creak so bad and your bodies are slightly bouncing from the mattress. The pleasure was so nice especially its you that he’s fucking now, that his mind just went blank and started kissing your breast wildly which made you part your lips and furrow your brows. You then reached for him because you can’t take the pleasure anymore and made him kiss your lips instead.

But just as you thought that the he will go slow, no. When his chest hit your breast, and you’re now bodies to bodies that he’s putting his entire weight on top of you, Jeno became wild again and pinned your legs on the mattress and started fucking you hard.

Thrust and thrust you feel the impact on every inch of your body, and feeling the sting and hurt on your cunt as he continues to fuck you so good and the pleasure did not stopped from there. He lifted your left leg, using your flexibility wisely and placing your leg on his shoulders, earning a kiss on your leg when he saw that you got excited with the new position.

Jeno went back to fucking you again, putting his left thumb on your clit to draw small circles while his other hand is holding your leg safely as he fucks you good again.

“Jeno- ahh! Fuck, not on the pill” you informed him with heavy breaths and delicious groans. Gripping his sheets tightly as you slowly feel your orgasm build up and made your toes curl. Pushing Jeno away and closing your legs immediately so could curl in a ball and enjoy your orgasm. You didn’t noticed that he came on your body the moment he pulled out, painting your skin with his hot and thick cum.

Suddenly it was quiet and only your heavy breaths can be heard.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized immediately and placed soft kisses on your shoulders while you still curl and shiver.

“No it’s perfectly fine,” you reached to him for a kiss and then Jeno proceeded to cleaning up his mess. Kissing your sensitive body while he wipes it and putting you both in the mood again for a second round, but stopped yourselves and just enjoy the night while you talk naked in his bed.

“Can you please play more safely? I see you go to the nurse’s wing every after game, but I never understood why until now. I though it’s just simple bruises.... and not, dislocated bones and-“ He cut you off with a soft giggle and caught him blushing like crazy. Who is this man? Is this really Lee Jeno? “What?” You added.

“Nothing. You’re just so cute when you worry for me. I remember back then you told me you wish I break my ankles during one of our morning practice because we had the field that day first,”

“Yeah... I’m sorry about that. You’re just so, annoying sometimes and I just hate you so much,” you gave him a hug as a sorry for what you said back then, which he gladly accepted and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“How about now? Do you still hate me now?” He squeezed you butt cheek to remind you of what happened earlier and how you loved every second of it.

“I most definitely, still hate you Jeno Lee” but of course, Jeno did not buy it and started kissing you again. Touching all the right places and whispering the right words. Until you two fucked again that night and he had to drive you home a little later that usual. This was the first night that you realized, you never wanted to be apart from Jeno.

“Y/n,” he called you just before you enter your house. You turned around to face him and gave him a sweet smile.

“Jeno Lee?”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

And just like that he made your heart jump again without any warning. Leaving you safely and driving away from you with both happy hearts.

When Jeno’s most awaited game finally came, by this time around you’re both still seeing each other secretly.

“There’s my favorite cheerleader,” he grabs you by the waist and admire you in your cheer uniform. You rolled your eyes at him and raked his long hair away from his face. Reminding him to play safely tonight.

“Win for this pussy,” you said with a smirk. You haven’t had sex with Jeno for some time now because he was so focused with practice and you think, tonight is just perfect.

But the handsome guy has something more in mind, “uh uh, Im winning for something else, this game is big I need a motivation,”

“Well, name it lover boy and I’m happy to give it,”

“Your heart. If we win this game we will be officially together and of course, the sex is just a bonus. What do you say? My place?” he’s waiting for an answer that will give him the energy that he will need all throughout the game.

You kissed him on the lips and encircled your arms around him and said, “Deal” then placed another one, “Now go win because I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else”

“You just had to set the bar high right before a game, huh?” He smirked and asked for another kiss. Completely transferring your balm to his soft, addicting lips.

Of course you and Jeno were excited and all for the thrill that night. The game wasn’t easy to win, but he worked hard inside the field while you worked hard outside the field, making sure that the people will have faith to Jeno until the end of the game, win or lose.

And speaking of win or lose, of course you’ll still make him your boyfriend after tonight. You just couldn’t let his heart break two times in one night.

But no worries, because as you wave your pompoms and screamed for Jeno’s name to take the winning shot, everyone celebrated with you.

“THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!!!” You shamelessly shouted and came running towards to Jeno together with the others and Jeno caught you in his strong arms and lifted you off the ground. Kissing you in front of everyone which made their jaws drop.

That night, you have never been so flirty around Jeno, and he had never been this sweet to you. Maybe, you two were just holding it in and now that nothing is stopping you, you’re ready to love each other with everything you got.

[tomonari-nue]

Junpei Lives AU

i already warned Kiyoko about this but basically this is dedicated to my friend whom i bullied persuaded into watching JJK only to have them crying in my DMs when they found out Junpei was gone for good.

anyway, who else is bummed out that Junpei never got to learn alongside Yuuji and make friends at JJTech bc i sure am so My City Now

let’s assume that in a slightly more merciful world Junpei wasnt idle-transfigured to death and Yuuji basically hauled his ass away from Mahito

Nanami: Itadori-kun he did attack civilians Yuuji: yeah after being severely manipulated by an extremely fucked up cursed spirit! and being bullied relentlessly! and losing his only family! Nanami: his only family? Junpei: my dad isn’t in the picture Nanami, doing quick neck-breaking mental gymnastics about the possible logistics of unofficially adopting another teenage boy: I See.

technically, due to his age Junpei should be a year or two higher than Yuuji but given that he’s pretty much a newbie, he stays with the other first years

Yuuji wasnt allowed to accompany Junpei when he had his “exam” with Yaga and pretty much sat outside the room biting his nails

he doesnt hear Junpei’s declaration that he’ll never allow anyone to ever lay a hand on him ever again, that he wont let himself be manipulated any longer

Junpei moves into the empty dorm next to Megumi

(poor Megumi is thus subsequently stuck with hearing them giggle during their movie marathons in either room bc the walls are THIN and it doesnt matter who’s in who’s dorm bc its STILL NEXT TO HIM AND HE WANTS TO SLEEP THANK YOU VERY MUCH–)

Yuuji gets Junpei a lavalamp with floating jellyfish in it as a housewarming (dormwarming??) gift

initially Junpei was a little nervous meeting Yuuji’s other friends but he figures if they like Yuuji they wouldnt be that bad

wrong. he was terrified of both Megumi and Nobara.

Megumi: hello who is th– Nobara: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS HUH? WHO IS THIS STRANGER YUUJI? ANOTHER SWEATY TEENAGE BOY? WHY COULDNT YOU FIND ANOTHER GIRL DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?

(its okay they became friends)

each of them coach Junpei regularly so he can keep up: Yuuji obviously takes over the hand-to-hand combat aspect

Junpei: no offence but i dont want to fight you Yuuji: oh its okay!! i have a high pain tolerance so dont worry about hitting me!! Junpei, who already got his ass kicked thoroughly by Yuuji before and knowing that this guy’s bicep is double the width of his own noodle arms: thats not what im worried about

Megumi, naturally, takes over coaching Junpei on all things shikigami – he’s very taken by Moon Dregs

Junpei: this is Moon Dregs, i didnt have her for very long but– Megumi: she’s beautiful, but can she fight? Junpei: she’s very poisonous Megumi: rad. anything else? Junpei: she. glows in the dark? Megumi: Megumi, under his breath: thats fucking sick as hell

Junpei isnt too sure what Nobara can coach him on considering their fighting styles are very different

Nobara: dont worry im gonna punch a spine into you Junpei: ????????

Nobara becomes the most terrifying (yet oddly effective) life coach in order to teach Junpei to be a lot more confident – unfortunately that also means feeding into his hidden violent streak KJBSBJKDJBK–

Nobara: this guy slaps your ice cream cone to the ground Junpei: what a dick Nobara: EXACTLY! what do you do? Junpei: hit him with a brick Nobara: YES Yuuji: NO Megumi: depends on what flavour the ice cream was

despite him and Nobara having similar violence levels, Junpei does kind of try to be the peacemaker in the group even if he does overindulge Yuuji quite often lmao

he brings the WEIRDEST movies to movie night fridays and often argues with Nobara over what they should watch

he once ignored Yuuji for an entire evening bc the other voted against him and he was stuck watching Frozen with everyone

Yuuji: cmon Junpei, just let it– Junpei: finish that sentence and im eating all of the mozzarella sticks

nobody likes to play Uno against Junpei bc he turns absolutely ruthless

on the first few nights at JJTech Junpei, having turned a little insomniac, wandered into the kitchen late at night to find this gangly figure in the dark with bright blue glowing eyes

nobody had bothered to tell him that Gojo liked to sneak sugar cubes

Junpei screamed so loud Yuuji took his door off its hinges in frantic hurry and Megumi got a bloody nose bc he ran straight into a wall

of course, that was nothing compared to having a very cranky and very pissed off Nobara show up in bunny-patterned PJs and hello kitty eyemask clutching her hammer

[twodimecastle]

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

[yesimwriting]

hiii, this might seem weird but do u have any head cannons for when the reader is pregnant and how the Darkling would react?

a/n love this concept,, it's not weird at all!! i feel like there's so much here!! also i leave for college this month and im lowkey starting to freak out so ive been watching star wars movies for comfort 😭and now i have half a mind to write for them, especially the prequels (cough, cough,, anakin) 😭 😭 that should tell you where i am mentally

anyways lets get into the headcanons:))

--

- okay so like most of my headcanons, this is probably going to be all over the place bc i feel like so many different things could change how he would react. Like if the darkling x reader have been trying to get pregnant, or an unplanned pregnancy with someone he really likes, i also think whether or not the reader is a grisha affects his reaction too

- in general though, i think he'd lowkey have a breeding kink he'd def find something about the thought of you having his child really attractive bc for one thing, he wouldn't have to worry about being left alone and now he has an excuse to be a real 'protector'.

- also if youve read my other headcanons i am 100000% convinced that he has this thing where if he really likes someone he needs them to need him (let's all remember the whole 'i will strip you of everything you know and love speech until I'm your only shelter' speech he gave to Alina)

- also i kinda want to write a fic or blurb series or something that's just the darkling being super toxic in super thoughtful ways LMAO if that makes sense, like he's being super sweet but it's to make sure the reader is dependent on him

- and he def wants to be the protector to give himself some sense of assurance bc he's so desperate to not be alone anymore and bc the reader is the only person he has/loves, he wants to feel in control and like he's the less attached one

- okay,, let's get back to the pregnancy thing, anyways, your pregnancy is most definitely activating all of those senses and this was meant to be a sub plot but it kind of became it's own thing lol

- so lets get to the actual pregnancy reaction

if you two have been trying to get pregnant:

- when you tell him, he kind of like, pauses bc it's not every day that he gets surprised so it takes him a moment to register that he's experiencing shock lol, so he tenses and goes islent

- and then after he realizes that he's surprised and that it's bc of a good thing, he manages to relax

- meanwhile you're kind of freaking out bc he got so quiet?? you start to wonder if he's regretting ever wanting a child with you? and you're like two seconds away from a downspiral and then he...

- he touches your cheek and looks at you in a way you've never seen him look at anyone,, not even you

- the look is so warm and strong and full of fierce admiration that you feel foolish for ever thinking he didn't want this. And then he says something about how you're carrying his child and how he didn't realize he could adore you more and then he kisses you and it's all :)) warm:)

- he doesn't want anyone to know that he's expecting a child as long as possible bc of how many enemies he has and how he has to worry about you enough when people just know that you're his 'lover' (a title you never really liked, but one he tells you is necessary to make sure no one realizes the extent of his attachment)

- if you really want to tell your mother or someone of that relation, he won't be mad about it, but he just needs to know

- Genya is the only exception bc the darkling basically instructs her to look out for you,, but when you tell her she's like oh?? you guys just found out?

- miss girl most definitely noticed like a day and a half ago after you cried bc she couldn't find you ice cream the other night 😭and she just assumed you knew but weren't ready to tell anyone

- okay so this what i think is his most problematic expecting father trait would be. So i just ranted about how important secrecy would be to him but he's also the most overprotective person in the entire world,, like he was bad before but once he knows your with child?? yeah, if a man asks you about the weather, he's done for

- he's next to you in a second, ordering either you or the man to do some asinine task

- if you get mad about this (rightfully so) or even just point out how nothing is wrong and you having a casual conversation with a man who isn't even looking at you sexually won't hurt you or the baby, he'll lose rationality

- it depends on how much you push, but it'd be super easy to make him super possessive bc like i said, being bonded by a child has made him so much more intense (and he was pretty intense before)

- and if you push too much he'll lowkey forget about how cautious he's trying to be with you and pin you against the nearest wall and say something along the lines of 'are you already forgetting you're mine? that i own you, body and soul--is my child growing in you not enough of a reminder? because i'll give you another one if you need it.' (AH--i want to write a whole fic based on this line)

- also if the reader is grisha, especially if she's a sun summoner/special grisha like him, he def talks about the power that they've created and how proud he already is and how he can't wait to train together and be the most powerful family in the world

- not everything is perfectly happy though, bc now he feels more pressure to complete his plan and establish the world he wants his child to be born into

- so sometimes when he's working extra hard or is extra aggressive for no reason, you have to work at calming him down and reminding him that the best thing he can do for his child is be there for them (and the child's mother,, lol)

- sometimes he'll respond by actually listening to you and trying to make up for his absence or his aggression by being extra soft until you finally forgive him

- you never last that long, it's hard to be mad at him when he's coddling you and whispering such sweet things about he's so happy to have you and your future child

- overall, his first reaction is to swell with emotion, which he isn't used to, and so he becomes super protective but also extra lovey and you know that his overreactions are just him trying to show that he cares about you and your future child more than anything

If the pregnancy was unplanned:

- the initial reaction is pretty similar, only his state of shock lasts longer

- like i said at the beginning, he's not used to being surprised and an accidental pregnancy is so much more surprising than a planned pregnancy

- this really sucks for you bc he's not exactly known for his patience so you just kinda sit there and genuinely wonder if you're going to be a single mom or if you're going to want to deletus the fetus or something

- but then he takes a step towards you and you see how he's looking at you and you just know that that fierceness has to mean something good

- and at this point you're scared and nervous and feel so alone so tears are pricking at your eyes,, so he wipes his thumb across your cheek to wipe away tears you won't let spill

- he then whispers something really sweet about how you two are now together forever, as you should be

- it's really relieving bc you felt so alone and uncertain and he's such a smooth speaker that by the end of the night, you feel like this is a good thing

- if youre still hesitant/weighing your options, he's not above trying to (gently) manipulate you into thinking that what he wants may be the only way

- by that,, i don't mean outright tricking you bc he means everything he says, but he def is pushing the keeping the baby agenda,, especially if you're a grisha,, and even more so if you're a grisha with similar power levels to him

- he won't get angry at first bc he's not so out of touch that he's unaware of how shocking a pregnancy is to a woman who wasn't planning one,, but his patience is limited and if you fight it too much he will get mad and yell

- but unless you really don't want to have a child, it won't get to that bc he makes the idea of having a baby with him sound so perfect?? like you genuinely don't understand how he did that

- he chases away all of your worries and assures you that youre not alone and that even though it isn't planned he wouldn't rather anyone else carry his child

- the initial conversation would probably end in you two sleeping together again bc he finds the fact that you're carrying his child so attractive and bc being aware of the pregnancy makes him more possessive

- it's also a good way to fight any of your doubts

- speaking of being possessive though,, i feel like he could be a little more possessive/protective of a reader who didn't plan on getting pregnant bc your relationship has been less established

- no one sees you as anything to him and he doesn't want to start rumors now bc it's important to him that his enemies don't find out about you or his future child so he doesn't want that to change

- but he almost forgets about all of those reasons each time he sees a man get a little too close,, especially if that guy is flirty

- it takes all of his will power to not just go 'she's mine and if i wasn't worried about the stress that witnessing something violent would cause our unborn child, you'd be dead already, but if you're not gone by the time i turn around, i'll forget about caution'

- lots of close calls ngl!! at one point youre like 'if it bothers you so much, maybe you should tell someone??' and he's like 'no,, maybe,, shut up' and then you raise one eyebrow and he just closes his mouth and is like 'i mean,, i'll kiss you to shut you up, haha--dont be mad'

- youre the one that's pregnant but sometimes you think he might be the one experiencing the mood swings i swear 😭

- so your little theory gets tested,, he's not the type to gossip with his besties and be like 'guess who's officially my girlfriend, i knocked her up but it's not like it sounds--'

- so he's like ig you can tell genya

- once again genya is like ?? yall thought you were keeping that secret? couldn't be me

- but having it a little out in the open helps ease him just enough that youre actually capable of consoling him when he becomes jealous

- still though,, he's quick to go into possessive/pregnancy kink sex

- youre most def not mad about it,, unless pregnancy has you particularly sore

- he's normally pretty understanding about that and def doesn't mind pulling his weight in the bedroom when he needs

- honestly he'd be really good at being a source of calmness at the beginning, but as time goes on he becomes more and more worried about finishing his plans bc he didn't expect to have a child right now

- so he'd be more adamant about working/becoming more tense and would be more difficult to console if it was an accidental pregnancy

- when you call him out on it--or on anything while your pregnant--it's frustrating for you both bc the number one thing everyone knows is stress is bad for baby, so he's trying to keep you calm without backing down

- these argument always end with one of you clinging to the other,, and then the more angrier of the two just like shuts up, rolls their eyes, and lets go of the argument...at least for now

- the main difference between an accidental and intentional pregnancy would probably be how you perceive him,, bc an intentional pregnancy means youve talked about things but since you havent talked about anything your shocked about how soft he becomes ??