#but yeah. thats how id feel most comfortable in that way.

[mrfoox]

Ok over an hour later and no im still a mess...

[unsuredreamer]

Getaway car

Red Hearts ❤️ x fem! reader

These two pics 🙌🏻

Like yeah ma'am I'm on my knees. Respectfully

Here's a Red fic for you my lovesss

"Oh c'mon Red! Don't be staring at her with your lover eyes, go and introduce yourelf" Chloe wiggled her eyebrows knowingly at her friend, who was painfully staring holes at the back of a head of a certain someone.

"Fuck you dumb or something?! Not a chance thats happening" The red haired girl glared at the other princess, stabbing her food with her fork, eating peas was not something she particularly enjoyed. Back in Wonderland she would be having something extravagant, different, weird she would even say. But here, just peas and potatoes everyday, not that she would complain, just, she'd love to change up some flavors from time to time.

"Wellll, I'll do it then! I'm sure she's heard about you coming to Auradon. She was the one who requested for villain kids to be studying here, after all!" Before Red could complain further more, her fast friend quickly took off from their table, coming straight at yours. Her blue locks blowing from her speed, she was eager to do what the other had failed so miserably many times.

But could you blame her? She was not shy, certainly not. She did not lack of anything. Talking skills, charisma and her attitude still on board as it has been since she left her home kingdom to come and study at Auradon. But, there was something intimidating in you at the same time drawing her further in the spiraling maze of thoughts and mysteries you could be hiding from her.

She never spoke to you, obviously, you were too popular for her to even approach you, she swore she'd never get involved with people like that. Always with someone, always on the run to be somewhere, to be doing literally anything besides resting. That's also what fascinated her about you, she wanted to know what a princess like you could be doing every second of the day. Making haste to do her duties? Running off to be somewhere calm? To be finally left alone? She wanted to know your every thought and opinion.

It scared her. She had never felt that way about anyone and it was weird to discover feeling like that, although she found it rather amusing to be thinking so much of you. You were not special.

She just liked watching you play your favorite sport on your tournament's. Oh how your eyes lit up when you got a set point, running straight at your teammates cackling them on the ground. And when you took off your shirt after winning every game, yelling profanities of happiness, the way the sweat rolled down your body and how your hair curled from wetness being held in a ponytail with a singular small braid. She was in awe, although she had never let it show.

She liked to observe you when you strutted down the school halls with your best friend, your books tightly grasped in your hands, close to your chest. You were usually clothed in a light blue checkered skirt that made your ass very hard to not look at, also complimenting your big thighs, not that she would look at of course (such a bullshit, she was staring hard) a white loose button-up shirt so simply hanging off your shoulders making your collarbone pop out so finely that even the mightiest of gods would not be ashamed to check you out, and of course some gold accessories to top it all. The most prominent being your bulk gold ring and a heart necklace, gifted to you by Evie Grimhilde.

Her daydreams were cut short by her very blue friend shaking her shoulders.

"Red, are you with us? Oh great!" Chloe grinned as she got her boo to finally listen. "As I've been saying, this is Y/n!"

"Hi, I heard from Charming here that you've been staring at me quite often" You giggled, she was looking rather cute, just sittings there with her clouded stare as she hummed in agreement. Probably not realizing what she did there. "Id love to meet you actually, get to know you a bit maybe a lot. Whatever you're most comfortable with, hearts" you smiled at her as she blushed at the nickname. She liked it when you smiled, it made her smile internally too. "You up for a ride to the enchanted lake later?"

You never really put your mind to get to know her, even though you wanted to meet the new kid, you always thought she might want to acclimatize first. That doesn't necessarily mean you never looked at her, she was really hard to miss, a storm of red locks everywhere you turned. Smudging somethings in her sketchbook or spraying the walls with her black paint. You should probably be informing someone of the vandalism she has committed herself to. But she looked so happy doing so, and you were so immersed in exploring the smallest details of every single one as soon as she left, that you could not. You wanted to appreciate her art.

You wanted to appreciate her.

As you were in the middle of the staring contest with a girl you dreamt of so many times (strange dreams including someone scarily close in beauty to hers that left you amazed after every night) the son of Aurora came and slipped his arms around your waist.

"Hey baby" you kind of grimaced as he kissed you on your cheek "Are you up to a quick run later?"

"Well I kind of got some plans already Aron" you wiggled out of his grasp. "I'm meeting princess Red later" you grinned at the red haired girl

"Her? but why?" he looked at her with a bit of disgust. As we know his family haven't really got a great history with villains. "My grandma says-

"Well, I don't really care what your grammy has to say. I'd like to make a new friend and I've heard Red would like to know me too" You remarked stopping him from saying some cruel shit about Red's family, stepping away from him too.

"Ooh" Was all Red could let out of herself. Were you really with that douchebag? He was nothing like his sister who actually became really close to a certain pirate after a sad encounter. Matter of fact, he despised vk's for simply breathing the same air as him. It was weird for her that someone like you would be with someone like him.

Later in the day you fastened your pace to Red and Chloe's dorm room, you anticipated your meeting with the girl the whole day. It was dragging, especially on your 'history of magic' lessons where the princess of Wonderland, sat 3 tables away from you, looking as pretty as the garden's of babylon, like she was touched by Midas, turning gold with every second, but keeping her rose colored cheeks as tinted as always. Merely breathing as she fell sound asleep, you could not help yourself to snicker under your breath as you took a few photos of her.

You found yourself smiling at the memory, she was cute, she could deny it as much as she want but her bitch face only makes a bad first impression. If you look at her for more than half a minute you would notice how her features soften within time as she melts into her own world, gets lost in her own thoughts. The way her brows furrow when she doesn't understand something. How her once red hair slowly loose their color becoming more and more pink, so she dyes them unevenly leaving some pink strands along the way, making her look so incredibly beautiful. How her long nails tap the same rythym on the table over and over, as she scribbles sharp lines in her sketchbook. Sitting criss-cross under this big tree on the edge of the forest.

You'd love to know her from the inside, as much as you know her from the outside.

In a millisecond of your knock you already see the door opening loudly and a cheerful Chloe standing in the frame.

"Oh my you look so good, you beast!" That made you cringe a little, Chloe had a weird way of placing words together, but nonetheless you loved the little bluey charming. She was like a little sister to you, even though you were just a little bit older than her.

"Hi my lovely! Is Red ready?" Doesn't that seem a bit like you were asking if she was ready for a date? "I-I, was just checking, I came to take her out, I mean, to the lake" Oh craps, you're stuttering, is it bad? It's bad. Fuck now you're panicking, great!

"Chill Y/n, I can almost hear your thoughts" princess charming giggled as you blushed deep shade of red, Red. "She's ready" She moved closer to you putting her hand to her mouth "Been ready since 5" She laughed as the Wonderlandian appeared at the door, yanking her by her collar.

"Thank you Chloe, we're gonna go now" She shut the door at the other girls face, hearing a loud 'Have fun lovebirds!' from behind them "I'm sorry for her. She can be annoying sometimes"

"No worries Red, I know, I've been friends with her since babies" You giggled as the princesses face lit up from the embarrassment, she totally forgot she's the new one in the kingdom.

"So you have a boyfriend?"

"Wow, straight forward i see" You smiled once again as you put your helmet on, doing the exact same with the Wonderlandian. She avoided your gaze looking like a pro. "You know you can look at me, hearts" you flicked her nose and she scrunched it in annoyance.

"So you don't?" She pushed you away, you grinned as you sat on your motorcycle

"Get on princess, I'm gonna take you places you've never been before" She was stunned, frozen in place looking at your extremely hot body leaning over, waiting for her to sit behind you. The phrase coming out of your mouth not helping the growing burning hot feeling inside her. She wanted to touch you.

Wanted it so badly. Was it mad? Probably.

As she sat on the motorcycle you guided her hands to grasp your waist.

"Try not to fall off, babe" Fuck. She was done for.

On the other side, you could not help the tingling feeling her touch left on you, it made your blood boiling, and every vein in your body want to pop out. Your strong grip on the vehicle only tightened when hers tightened on you. You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as your heart beat rapidly on your chest.

What is she doing with you? You're going mad for her.

Mad.

The ride was slightly more calm, Red explored every single detail of the forest you were so fastly going through, and your eyes remained on the road only cursing yourself as you felt her head gently laying on your back.

"So tell me more about yourself Red" You insisted, as you took a stroll through the bridge leading to the enchanted spot. She swung her hands trying to balance herself.

"Well, I'm from Wonderland, my mom is the famous Queen of hearts. Our kingdom is stric-"

"About yourself silly" You stopped her grabbing ber shoulders from behind. "I want to hear about you, Red" Her name coming out of your mouth sounded different. It was not the harsh tone her mother used to yell her name out with. But it was also not the overly sweet almost apologetic-like tone everyone around her used, when she first come from Wonderland.

It was genuine, soft, like you'd truly want to say her name till the rest of your days.

This sentence took you on a roll of quietly listening to her stories from her childhood, her favorite things, foods, hobbies, and many diffrent informations you would love to know about her. You loved when someone began rambling to you let alone when it was someone you took a particular interest in. She looked so dazzling, stuffing her mouth with ice cream and mini cakes in between telling you how the cheshire cat scared her once so bad she began crying. And he just appeared before her while she was painting roses.

"Do you want to take a swim?" You blurted out, the sun was slowly setting painting the sky the beautiful shade of orange, pink and lavender.

"I kind of don't know how to swim Y/n" she blushed looking away, like it would be the worst of crime.

"It's okay Red, I'm not pressuring you to, but I'll happily give you lessons right here right now" You stripped down to your underwear getting in the water.

Red's eyes wandered all over your body until desire took over her, she wanted you to touch her even if she had to drown for it to happen. But you wouldn't let her would you? She hoped so as she swiftly got up and stripped down her own clothes.

Your mouth agape when you gazed at her.

"Dang, you're hot" You smirked moving your hands in the water, swimming deeper in. She began to get in, but slowly backed out "It's okay love, come, I'll take your hand" you reached out for her. And she tightly grasped it but it didn't take long for her to panic when she couldn't feel the ground beneath her feet.

"No, no, no, no" You swiftly pulled her close to your body, swimming quickly somewhere less deeper then you already were.

"Red, Red. Calm down, wrap yourself around me" you whispered to her ear gently, what made her shiver even more than the water hitting her skin. She did as you requested, tangling her legs around your waist and her arms around your neck. Your warm breath fanning over her collarbone made her heart thump in her chest once again.

She couldn't help but look down in your eyes discovering that you were already looking up at her with yours. She pulled your head closer to her body leaning down. You glanced quickly at her lips not letting yourself loose the beautiful sight of her eyes.

Not stopping yourself you closed the distance between you two, letting your lips touch hers, grabbing her waist in the process, feeling her jump at your sudden bold move.

Her lips tasted like cherries but mixed with blood, you could not quite decipher how. You liked it. Liked it a lot. They were soft, and she kissed you so slowly and carefully feeling like she would scare you away if she was to move any further. Grasping your wet hair in her hands she deepened the kiss after a second. Feeling more comfortable in it now as she felt your hands roam her body.

Kissing her was like a sentence to death, there was something thrilling toit. It was not sweet, sickening and bubble gum to anyone's dismay. She kissed hard and strong, sticking her tongue in your mouth and biting your lips when she felt bold enough.

Your hands creeped down her body resting on her ass as she hummed in content, agreeing on every antic you were about to commit to.

It was exciting, and you loved that feeling.

You finally felt free with her.

Swimming, although you could drown in her.

After you pulled away, with protest. Deep heavy breathing was all that could be heard, immersed in each other's touch. Occasional splashes of water in the background.

Were you moving too fast? Was it the right thing to do? You did not care.

She tasted so good. It was so wrong, but it felt so good to have her all to yourself.

The few breaths you managed to take were cut short when she crushed your lips together once again, as if on cue, knowing exactly what you want.

You would not imagine yourself making out with the princess of Wonderland while swimming in the enchanted lake. But that's what you needed. That was what your heart begged for at the moment,

Your moment of peace.

She was your peace

It felt right. It felt as if you were bound by an invisible string. Meant to be by each other at the exact moment of your lives.

She was your escape

Your getaway car

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello how are you :3? I was wondering if you could write E.J., Hoodie, and Masky with a s/o that has a lot of scars? (Toby too but platonic for him) I’m not sure how many people we can request so if it’s too many just Hoodie? I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and thank you!

Various!Creepypastas w/ a scarred!reader

waaaah im so sorry for not seeing this sooner! i didnt recieve a notification for this ask!! really theres no limit to how many characters you can send in! i think my personal max varies from prompt to prompt!! mix of how they approach the concept of a scarred lover (friend in tobys case) with some hints of fluff! cause of scars will be vague as admittedly i didnt know if you meant general scars or SH! side note i hope this posts right! im writing this on my computer, im used to mobile!! + apologies for any weird wording or typos, im listening to music and im getting hyped!! not proof read we die like my spiderverse brainrot

Includes: Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, Masky and Platonic!Toby!

CWs: touch and go talk of potential past trauma, body image issues, vague mentions of SH(?) in EJs part + Toby's parts

admittedly admin doesnt know if its technically SH due to the nature and motiv but personally id still count it as such and tag it as such

Eyeless Jack;

he gets it, he really does. the basic run down of my hc/take on ej is that he wasnt always some flesh eating monster; just some dude who got caught up in some bad stuff

so naturally, he doesnt... really vibe well with the concept of eating human flesh, which can lead to a few... instances. from intentionally to accidentally harming himself while hes lost in his instincts

so hes no stranger to being a little roughed up around the edges

but hes a stranger to comforting; he'll likely approach it from a logical side before trying anything else. "you've been hurt," before going on a small tangent about the formation of scars. hes not the most... emotionally... good... available... person

so youre going to need to lay out the general basis for what you need for basic comfort, on days where your scars become an issue; be is needing comfort or a distraction. it may take him a while, but hell eventually start to pick up on cues and hints as your relationship develops

otherwise hes very neutral about them, again approaching them with a blunt view; seeing it as neither good nor bad. he doesnt draw attention to them, but he doesnt act like theyre gross

really just. vibing with it, doesnt make a huge deal of it since he feels he doesnt have any place to judge, nor does he feel its his business to pry for information

solid 6/10 imo, hell comfort you if you express that you need it but hell likely not go out of his way to do it

Hoodie;

Soft touches, he almost does it before he has your permission to touch you

naturally he has his own fair share of scars from various.. activities

really im still all jumbled up with how i wanna write him and masky; not sure if i want to make them like how they are in their MH source or lean into the proxy thing that was prominent in the early days of the fandom... lowkey leaning into the proxy thing for this post because im more... versed..? in that, but anyhow

hes more upfront and compassionate than eyeless jack, in fact hes probably the most caring out of the four in todays post... maybe thats because i read one (1) fic years back that changed my entire approach to his character but! yeah

subconsciously trails his hands on them when the two of you are holding one another; something gentle and intimate, not too obnoxious to make you self conscious, but not careful enough to go unnoticed

i view hoodie, and by extension brian if i end up considering him and tim fully seperate from their 'proxy' parts, as a very tactile person

true to the popular fanon interpretation, hoodie doesnt speak much. but that only makes him a better listener, so on days where things get hard, hell let you talk his ears off with anything thats bothering you. very rarely, hell speak up and offer some words of advice, most times hell inch closer to grasp you. though it does get awkward since most the time hes just. blankly staring at you silently without emoting or saying a word

overall? personally hes a 7/10 for me, i would rank him higher if he were more verbal, but thats just because admin has an easier time venting if its a two way convo; but overall hell make sure that your scars dont effect your worth

Masky;

very similarly to hoodie, masky also has his own set of scars for the same reasons

he probably starts pointing out his own scars to you and mumbles about where they came from if he knows their origins

this doesnt mean "oh hes invalidating your experiences and hes trying to make it about himself," but more so "hes showing that he really does get it and he doesnt mean to talk over you"

much like EJ he approaches scars with a very blunt and upfront mindset, but to a lesser extent. he admits that whatever led up to the tissue forming, it hurt. emotionally and physically, and hes not going to deny that simple fact. hell listen to you, have a conversation with you about it, and try to help you through whatever you may be currently going through regardless of if youre injury is relevant.

or at least, thats what hes trying to do.

hes still has his own personal issues regarding going about his own problems in a healthy manner but hey thats something for another post; maybe, if i remember

honestly this post doesnt have enough fluff imo, and i can kinda see masky doing this, but imagine he boops his mask against your scars in a mockery of a kiss (doesnt take off his mask often, in fact youll probably never ever see him without it on), i can see jack doing this too tbh

thoughts? 8/10, gets the bonus points for being less awkward to rant to imo, plus i think asides ej, i think i have a bias for masky for the simple fact i had the fattest crush on him when i was in middle school

Toby;

okay! this one is going to be interesting for one main reason! i actually havent touched tobys character in YEARS! so hes probably going to have the shorter list... obligatory i havent built any solid hcs for him past what was going on in the fandom in the 2010s, before toby briefly became a mild discomfort... but we're back in business baby!! (^^ dont feel bad for requesting for toby btw! hes no longer a discomfort, and if i didnt want to write for him i wouldnt be including him right here!!)

obviously we cant talk about his part without talking about his cheek. and other, similar hcs. while i dont think most of the self inflicted marks on his body were from a place of.. for lack of better words, darkness; it doesnt change the fact he still has them. i think a lot of them are from the fact he cant feel anything; accidental burns, gnawing through his cheek, digging his fingers deep into himself. really i could go into detail, but due to the aforementioned fact that my take on him isnt as developed as other characters + i really dont think its appropriate for this post (or really, anywhere on this account,), ill stop there

while he cant relate to the physical pain of what caused your scars, he can sympathize through your feelings. do you feel sorrow, or anger to whoever hurt you? hell be getting worked up right with you, because to him youre one of his closest friends

i feel like he doesnt talk much about his past, regarding his family. but hed tell you, and you can sure as hell bet that hell do his absolute damndest to grant you the same feeling of security.

hell probably touch and prod without truly meaning any harm, but thats because he can have problems with boundaries, but hell listen if you sit him down and tell him it makes you uncomfortable if it does

more so emotional than outwardly... supportive? idk the words, but hes very empathetic with you and tries to relate to you through emotion rather than feeling what you felt. honestly? kinda based for that, but maybe thats because i dont see feelings about this topic being touched on, usually its straight up about how the scar makes the person look or the physical trauma they had gone through, but idk, maybe thats just a me thing

he can be an asshole at times but hell usually backtrack and cool off somewhere else if you call him out on it imo

not sure if its because as im LITERALLY investigating his characteristics and interpretations as we speak, but i think im starting to relate to him so ER-OH!

anyways, i wish i could make his segment more... in tune with the characters above but its probably going to take me a while until im comfortable with how i portray this dude, which sucks because as a kid he was probably one of my favorites

i dont think im going to give toby a rating like the others; since i dont think i can accurate rate him due to the lack of proper concrete ideas outside of him being empathetic to your emotional pain since he cant relate on how much it hurt

im gonna end this here since im starting to sound like a broken record on tobys part so!

i hope you enjoyed this! characterization may be a little off but i blame that mostly on the fact that i kinda fell out of the loop in regards for writing for these guys (that damn spider movie! the brainrot threw me off my creepypasta grind!/j) but its good to be back writing for this fandom! it was a fun little brain exercise trying to figure out each character goes about this kind of thing without making them all the same!! with that being said, im going to go listen to an audio reading of tobys story so i can regrounded in his character and hopefully do him some justice in the future!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi uh i could use some advice :<

im a host of a recent system of 20-ish and guh i am t i r e d

im mainly looking for advice on how to switch or just retreat into the headspace/leave front or even just kinda stop being fully aware while still being in front for awhile bc id rlly like to take a break and the realization that im most likely front attracted/frontstuck is kinda making me more tired of being in front

also if it helps at all my(&) system is parogenic + traumagenic in origin (specifically parotraumagenic) and theres kinda iffy communication between members (some of them i have clear communication with and they randomly pop up to say stuff, some i have no idea where they are and some of them i can usually only hear when im directly interacting with them).

afaik (as far as i know) only three?? ppl have rlly "fronted" per se, and the rest have been co-con

i apologize for the long and mildly depressing ask but any help is appreciated also dont forget to hydrate

Hello! We have some posts that might help you that we’d like to share if that’s okay. The first is a post we wrote a while back with some tips on switching from our own experience:

We’d also like to share this post by @rin-and-jade on being frontstuck or frontlocked, and how to go about unsticking yourself!

Our own system host (Parker) is almost always fronting to some extent. It can certainly be exhausting and disheartening fronting nonstop, especially when other members of your system can seemingly come and go as they please. He’s going to put some info under a cut for how he copes with fronting constantly, in case you want some advice on coping with being genuinely unable to switch out!

We hope something here will be helpful for you! We’re wishing you the best of luck with switching out or at least learning how best to cope with fronting in your future!

(Host here - I’ll just write this bit if thats okay. Anyway here’s some stuff I do to deal with The Horrors of perpetual existence)

Meditation

Taking a few moments to sit in comfortable silence can be useful for me when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed or straight up exhausted. Here’s how I meditate (I’m no expert and I’m sure there’s better ways to do this… this is just what I do)

- get in a comfortable position in a quiet place where I’m not likely to be disturbed

- set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes

- close my eyes, focus on my breathing

- don’t dwell on any thoughts but also don’t push them away; acknowledge them and let them go

- try to stay still and calm until my timer goes off

And that’s it. Sometimes I get interrupted by an alter or something outside, but for the most part, this is how I’ve been able to meditate effectively.

Rest

I take naps whenever I can. I sit down whenever I can. I’ll literally just close my eyes for a few minutes whenever I can. Our body has issues with chronic fatigue, and fronting constantly can sometimes exacerbate our exhaustion. So yeah I am a huge fan of naps and will often set a timer for like 15-20 minutes and snooze whenever the opportunity arises. Even just lying down with closed eyes can help replenish some energy.

Distractions

Reading, watching something on TV, or playing video games can help give me somewhat of a break even if I’m still fronting. I do tend to try and keep us distracted as much as possible… sometimes to our own detriment. But if you find that you really aren’t ever able to switch out, or if your system is specutien and that’s just the way your system functions, finding things you enjoy that can serve as distractions may help you as well.

Saying No

This one’s tough, but I’m trying to learn to say no when I’m overwhelmed or have too much on my plate. This means sometimes I’ll cancel plans, hand off a responsibility, make a compromise, or turn down an opportunity if I don’t have the energy for it.

Honestly idk how much my addition can help you, but if you find that you’re not ever able to switch out at all please know there’s other folks out there in similar positions. Hoping you can make the most of your situation, anon /genuine

[soundbodys]

AMBROSE BASSFORD: autism?

hi!!!! welcome to part 1 of "i've got some thoughts on adamandi" >:) i have some other analysis that i do want to share about other things, not just randomly diagnosing fictional characters! but this post is about ambrose being on the autism spectrum <3

i'm not a medical professional by any means, but this is just coming from both my experience as an autistic person and the research i've been able to do about the disorder. and other people's experiences! please dont come for me if things are just a touch inaccurate. without further ado: lets fucking gooooooooo!

[ID: ambrose bassford with his hands on vincent lin's shoulders. he is looking into the distance with a determined look in his eye. vincent looks towards him with concern. end ID]

(please excuse my terrible quality screenshots. um. yeah.)

i'll also preface this by saying that yes, much of this is also informed by his status as a transgender student in the early-mid 1900s. i still think it's fun to analyze and compare my (and others') experiences to his!

THE MARMORIUS SOCIETY

[ID: preston monterey and adrian farthington (or miscellaneous marmorei) putting a letterman jacket on ambrose. ambrose is smiling. there is a caption at the bottom reading "rooftops that nobody frequents where secret societies meet" in all caps. end ID]

firstly, i will address the marmorius society. i'm fairly certain that the marmorei in "word to the wise" are meant more to represent the then-present-now-past members that welcomed ambrose freshman year rather than preston and adrian, but thats ok. what matters more is the subtext in word to the wise that we can glean from the choreography and interactions between ambrose and vincent. beginning the song, and similarly his freshman year, ambrose struggles to fit in like each of the other students entering ardess. he initially seems more comfortable interacting with vincent, but then gets taken in by the marmorei. this is exactly where his mannerism and attitude shift

here, we see ambrose fitting in (or, making an attempt to) with the other marmorei. from vincent's account, we know that ambrose's actions and behaviors almost completely changed after becoming part of the society. this is a really roundabout way of saying hey, ambrose found a place where he thinks he might belong! rather than learning and adapting to normal and regular social rules, he latches onto and mimics a very specific subset of people. to him, they know what they are doing and they have a way of being social that he can't understand so he mimics instead of just adjusting the way he already was. this mimicking makes a bit of sense in that he's not quite conforming to social cues (he still doesn't exactly fit in), but he's trying to. it feels to me a bit like how it is to feel alienated from your peers, even though you are trying your hardest to mask. of course, his "off"-ness is also contributed to by his transness so take that as you will.

2. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

[ID: ambrose is standing facing vincent. vincent is facing him with his hands to his back uncomfortably. the caption reads. "i've been looking to include more variations in body type." end ID]

this one is shorter than the marmorius society bulletpoint. actually, most of them are. that one is long winded. ANYWAY, ambrose is kind of... interesting when it comes to his interactions. specifically, he encourages vincent to join the marmorei by saying he's been "looking to include more variations in body type." to him, he's being completely honest and genuinely wants vincent to take interest in his phaethon project. unfortunately, to both vincent and much of the audience, this comes off as comically insensitive at best or offensive at worst. this comes from a lack of awareness of social cues, similar to the lack of knowledge of social norms from the previous bulletpoint. while he knows how to conform to the marmorei, there is still a lot of social cues he needs to work on. often, autistic people will speak bluntly and honestly in their communication. this is really not that far off, even if it was just a little gag!

3. OMG, SENSORY ISSUES!

[ID: caption reading, "he didn't eat the apple because he said he didn't like how its flesh felt on the skin of his thumbs." end ID]

kind of self explanatory. all metaphors aside, ambrose doesn't like the flesh of a peeled apple on his thumbs. i understand (<- i loooove peeled apples though)

4. BLACK AND WHITE THINKING: IF NOT ME, WHO?

[ID: lyrics reading, "if i was stronger i could fix this; / cut the bad and leave the good / be the marble and the sculptor / like my father says i should." end ID]

[ID: lyrics reading, "so my parents and my girlfriend / my closest friends and you / will know i deserve their love / once there's no more work to do / there are only three people who'll be perfect in their eyes / me, myself, and i" end ID]

two screenshots! often, autism causes what can be called "black and white" or polarized thinking. it's like, there's only one solution or there are only the extremes (although, this isn't to be confused with the black and white thinking associated with BPD. i don't have experience on that but ive heard quincy and vincent can fit the bill). for ambrose, there's only one solution to both his dysphoria and distorted self worth: becoming the perfect man by... becoming marble or whatever. as if there is only ONE way to do this, without alternative methods. i sometimes find myself in the same spiral, and have meltdowns either when it doesn't work out or if i'm offered an alternative solution that goes against what i thought might work. even in the second screenshot here, we see that he thinks the only way to earn love is through this specific task. he cannot be unconvinced, even if vincent tries to offer him an alternative solution.

5. WHY APOLLO, BOYS?

[ID: ambrose is hanging off a ladder, his hand out and mouth open singing. the caption reads, "apollo's look is yours: sound body, sound mind" in all caps. end ID]

this is where i dip more into the headcanon territory than i already have. i couldn't really include every screenshot where he talks about a) apollo, b) sculpture, or c) fitness. this is kind of part of his character in general but i like to think of it as his special interests. it's remarkable how many autistic people i know who have majored in something related to their spinterests (including myself! in a way)

6. DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF, LIN!

[ID: vincent awkwardly puts a hand on ambrose's arm, ambrose looks at him longingly. end ID]

ambrose... did not interpret the social cues correctly in the scene directly after "sound body, sound mind." it's really just written in the text, but just in case, i will remind you that vincent pretty much says "hey, i kind of strived to be like you because i had this incorrect assumption of who you were, sorry about that lol" and ambrose took it all wrong and thought this was a romantic advance. he just... didn't interpret it right. honest mistake, but a very common mistake among autistic people. and, unrelated to the autism thing, his comeback isn't smooth at all lmao

THERE YOU HAVE IT! i'm sure there could be more to be said, but my hands hurt (disability) and i can't think of any more off the top of my head. feel free to add on with anything you want to say!!!! thank you for reading!!!! here's the sillies for you, as a reward for getting this far :)

[ID: preston, ambrose, and adrian with their arms on each others' shoulders, stepping in sync. end ID]

[hotluncheddie]

I absolutely love your chubby!Steve series!

I think partly because it challenges the fckng fatphobia my family has raised me with, acting like anyone who doesn't "fit" into their clothes anymore is fat and that's bad. Which *i* think is fckng stupid. I'm personally more at ease with my body. While being skinny (always was) ... ever since puberty or hitting my 20s I'm not a stick figure. I have some curves and while that's really nice if you feel comfortable in a woman's body - i've been struggling with gender and my little tummy fat, my thighs, my ass and always felt too feminine. I know I have a nice body (I feel strange about saying that) but in my eyes it's a lot of femme sexy not masc sexy. If it makes sense. But to get to the point 😂 I think your series has helped me too with reevaluating my depiction of whats masc and what's femme. And also how curves on men are hot and good and beautiful.

I'm obviouely not 100% there and probably won't ever be. But it helped a tiny bit! So pleaaaaaase never stop!! It's so good!

I really hope this all makes sense

(at first I wanted to make this anon but I'm gonna be brave about it! And yes it would be okay posting this publicly. But you can also answer if you want, privately)

hello friend!! ty for being brave and sending this! im so so so glad you’re enjoying them!!!

sorry i’m only just answering this too i kept thinking about what i wanted to say bc i never expected these stories to cause these kinds of thoughts. but it’s so cool!!

there is something so interesting about the way androgyny is so connected to thinness. and curves with femininity. like i saw an insta reel and this girl was doing butch outfit inso but she was a bigger, curvy woman and it kinda blew my mind like id never seen it before! they looked great!!

like masculinity and femininity is performance but i totally get the frustration of like having to counteract your ‘base’ in order to perform the way you feel most comfortable. if that makes sense. like i so often want a t-shirt to fit me like it would a skinny skater boy but i also think i look pretty hot naked haha and i know that’s me with my traditionally ‘feminine’ body shape. so i feel like i get what ur saying? sorry if i’m way off

but yeah i’m also sorry you’ve been struggling with your gender i hope it hasn’t been too dysphoric for you!

its just really interesting that you’ve sent me this tho. when thinking about like, how everyone interprets art differently. like, i honestly just started writing them bc i find bigger people really attractive. i wasn’t really trying to say anything about fat phobia but i totally see how it’s all connected. like i just think bellies are hot and i find peoples chests hot, like, boobs or pecs, whatever, its just a really nice, beautiful area. so i kinda wanted to just get that attraction out in writing because im trying to be less embarrassed about what turns me on. maybe that's why i write eddie so goofy, thats me still being a little embarrassed but also just maybe makes it all more accessible to people. idk.

but yeah i guess it’s just nice to talk about different body types, especially with such a traditional american male character like steve. i’ve just never found like a six pack very attractive, personally. i find strength and curves and softness and bigness really nice so idk i hope i’m giving a little more representation to that.

[fatuismooches]

ok brainrot that’s been consuming me, so this one isn’t fully sfw but it’s not hardcore nsfw aadhah let me explain also if you don’t feel comfortable answering that’s completely fine!! mwah mwah

Anw basically imagine doing it with dottore but fragile reader but I mean this in the least horny way possible like I would imagine for him it wouldn’t be about carnal desire but rather a sort of union, a connection of body and soul (even if he doesn’t really believe in souls)

the scientist in him knows it’s nothing more than physical closeness and a biological connection but when he’s with you in such a vulnerable state it’s like the mad doctor falls away and all that is left is the blue haired boy who would divulge his hopes and plans for the future (albeit in a very pragmatic way) under a quiet night sky with only you and the stars as witness

obviously with fragile readers state it wouldn’t happen often but when it would it was like all the unspoken promises would pour out through his actions, through the way he handled you like the most delicate of porcelain (which in his eyes, you practically were)

I also feel like it’s be his own way of affirming you, id imagine fragile reader would have doubts about their desirability and what not with their state and itd be dottores way of saying that he really did love you, even if he didn’t say it much (idk why but I hc him as not saying it much, actions speak louder than words after all)

BUT UHH YEAH THATS IT SORRY ITS A BIT LONG AND IK YOURE NOT AN NSFW BLOG SO AGAIN I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND IF YOU DONT WANT TO ANSWER IT 🫶🫶

- 🌕💗

I LITERALLY LOVE THIS BECAUSE I HAVE THE SAME THOUGHTS😭 (I'm putting this under the cut for suggestive content! I'm also tagging it as #suggestive.content so anyone can block the tag if they feel uncomfortable!)

I love how you worded this so sweetly, it was so nice without being explicit🥺 and I also love the "I mean this in the least horny way possible" because 😭😭💗💗💗 I agree, it doesn't happen often, but it is so sweet you could cry. Perhaps because being in such close and intimate proximity with your lover is enough to send you emotionally over the edge. No one would believe how good he takes care of you, with your illness and all. And you are the one who made him view it differently. He had no care for the activity at first but somehow you managed to morph him into someone else during it. I also feel like aftercare would be so sweet, you'd literally try to fight him to stay with you for a bit longer, arguing he can't just leave you here like this. Saying you'll sabotage his research or something. And then I think, you begin to reminisce about the old days, about something funny or dumb he said how many years ago. He's oddly quiet during these times, you're not sure what he's thinking of but you know he's listening.

Dottore is definitely an action-over-word guy, it's hard for him to be outright with his feelings. I feel like saying "I love you" is literally impossible for him, he'd rather show you how he feels rather than verbalize it. Fragile reader definitely has some insecurities and concerns about themselves from their illness (does he really still want them? even when your condition has dragged you all the way down to this point?). And while he rarely ever gets upset it does make him grit his teeth to see your unconfident nature. It baffles him as to why you would ever think such a thing, when you are the loveliest creation he has ever seen. He's very careful yet thorough with you. No matter how much you try to hide from him, he is going to make sure to go over every inch of you, no spot left untouched.

[sagittarithealastorsimp]

im bored, so im gonna rant about alastor's breakdown scene

deal with it

(i also may have lost the post with most of my info but whatever shut up/j)

WARNING: MAJOR spoilers for for hazbin hotel

if you havent watched it all the way through, id reccomend that-

also speak of sensitive topics such as father issues, mental breakdowns,

i feel like i should say this, i am NOT a psychiatrist, in ANY way shape or form, and im just speaking from prior knowledge and experience, aand also my friend who has studied psychology and all that jazz immensely (say hi to ros! :)

i also make an excess of unnecessary and dumb jokes so if you cant handle that bye i guess (/j)

(will also include random images here and there of him, bcz why not)

okay, so i dont think its that much of a secret that alastor is NOT okay, mentally (and physically, i mean, look at that gash thats not healthy smh)

it could NOT have been made ANY clearer that theres something wrong going on in this mans head, and its... uhm whats the word help ive backed myself in to a corner here

theres more than one s o m e t h i n g thats wrong, i guess, and im here to give my opinion and theory on the matter so uhhhhhh

make sure to SMASH THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE BUTTON FOR MORE AMAZING CONTENT1!1!1!!/j

okay very dumb and idiotic jokes aside smh, im gonna explore and explain each one of the reasons i think this guy is not okay, starting with

d r u m r o l l

father issues! yayyyyy amazinggggg totally not horrible haha whaatt.. anyways, there are numerous hints that alastor had, at the very least, a very problematic father, and, hey, ever notice how he's more comfortable around women?? and that he was a confirmed 'mamma's boy'? yeah, based on those two things (i only provided two reasons because, haha, i may or may not have lost the post i was using for info) i think we can concur that he had atleast SOME sort of father issues, and not the "oh yeah he's just an annoying goofy fella" kind of father issues

of course, we ALSO have the deal he made, which was brought up briefly in episode 5, and 8

and there i s kind of a funky little debate on who the deal was with, and what it was for, but the two main cantidates are lilith, and roo

and who knows what lilith/roo makes him do, even? ...okay, aside from lilith/roo, who would be the ones making him do things-

i dont know, theres not alot i can say on this matter other than its most likely alastor made a deal with either lilith or roo to save his power or something, and briefly bring up the fact that he probably does have to do some things here and there, and the fact that if it i s lilith he made the deal with, she probably sent him to help out with the hotel, maybe, i dont know

WHEWWWW OKAY THEN lets get in to some of his behaviours that are n o t at ALL good or normal, the way he treats husk and reacts to him 'caring' about his 'friends' wooo yayyyyy

also heres another alastor image so you little grubs(/j) dont get bored at the lack of things to look at woo

lets start with how he treats husk, thats just, thats not nice man dont do that :(

jokes aside though, there HAS to be some reason that he treats him like this, theres no way that its just because he owns his soul- like, unless husk did something reaallyyy bad theres no reason to treat him like that (granted, alastor IS in hell for a reason, and is NOT a normal or good person)

anyway thats it for this section because i really dont have anything and im relying on the wiki and memory alone to get me through this post shush :(

okay lets talk about his reaction to him nearly dying for his 'friends' and actually caring about them

its clear that this man has some sort of issues with caring about people, and there has GOT to be more than one reason why other than "oh no people are gonna think im a softie thats no good :( *has a breakdown musically*" i mean, it COULD be just that one, but i just really dont think it is honestly, i dont really have that diffinitive of a reason, i just really think that something happened that made him n o t want to get attached to people,

and i REALLLYYYY want to know what that reason is in season two

alright, for the last bit of this post, i think we should discuss the fact that he always smiles

we DO know that one of the reasons is that, to him atleast, a smile is a valuable tool, that keeps your friends inspired, and your enemys guessing, and always ensures YOU'RE the one in control

but its HEAVILY implied in this image that there is another reason,

if you observe close enough (not really that close, but hey who has perfect eyesight not me) you can see it looks like his mouth is stitched, and even more so to be literally always smiling so theres a possibility that either lilith or roo is ALSO forcing him to smile

then again it could just be something about him literally not being able to talk about his deal, which is also plausible

...or thats just what he looks like idk im not here to judge his fashion choices

CONGRATULATIONS!! you made it to the end of my stupid post! keep in mind that any and all of this could change at any given point, and i will update it accordingly....if i remember to

i am not using this in any way to condone his actions AT ALL, you shouldent be a cannibal, or a serial killer, or be manipulative (is that the right word???), thats unswag smh, and i am NOT AT ALL a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, once again, i only really know some of these things because my friend rambles about them, and i used to get in to crime and psychology documentaries when i was bored

so i am not at ALL a professional

thanks for reading this shit show of a post

[leclercarchive]

I: So we've established since Mexico that you're better at chess than Pierre Gasly?

Charles: I am! [talking to Hamilton: oh yeah we have to play for sure] I am better than him

I: He claims that you won one game and now you're telling everyone in social media and feels that it's a bit unfair

C: Yeah but we only played once, I won 100% of the times which is a good record to have but i'm sure we'll have many more chances to play together

I: Tell us more about what you got up to on Tuesday

C: Oh yes, Ayrton is my one and only idol I've ever had, and the fundation, the family, invited me at the fundation in São Paulo , also got the chance to see the car he raced in, a few helmets. it was very emotional and the family has been welcoming me in the best way possible. Viviana has been explaining to me many stories and also the stories of the helmetes and the cars in there. It was a very special moment for me for sure

I: How comfortable are you to get a hat-trick of pole position?

C: It's always nice, but at the same time, for me it matters the most on Sundays. And at the time we don't really have the car in order to make those pole positions a win, or at least a really good result on Sunday so we really have to work in that and thats where we all are focusing at the moment. We still have work to do, id be amazing to be on pole but id rather have a win than a pole this weekend

I: Do you think the harder tyres compounds here in Brazil compared to Mexico could help you win the race?

C: I don't think it has a big influence in our perfomance, i think its more down to the track characteristics. But again I think its very difficult to put it this weekend, specially in sprint weekends, FP1 is super important, its very easy to put a foot in the wrong direction, if thats a good expression? - And then the whole weekend you cant recover if you make a mistake in fp1 with the setup so i'ts going to be super imporant to have a strong FP1 and hopefully that'll be a positive weekend for us

[dragonfliescreative]

Joel (oc) x Reader..

Ch 1. Getting Ready.

Huffing in an attempt to calm my nerves, i stare into the mirror. The outfit Chloe had picked out for the concert felt odd against my skin. i normally just wore what was comfortable, but she insisted that i dress up for this. apparently id feel out of place otherwise. if i was honest i didnt even know what i was walking into. she had been listening to Bloodied Daisies alot long than i had, hell she had been to their concerts too. this was my first time going because she won a raffle for backstage tickets.

"Are you about ready??" Her voice boomed through the door. Pulling briefly at the tight netting over my arms i respond "Yeah i guess so." And with that im met with my best friend. she had her blonde hair up in a spiky looking bun, and a matching punky looking outfit to mine. She covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my god! Y/n you look so handsome!" she snickered, her fingers shortly finding my face afterwards to fix the makeup i had most likely smudged it while putting in my top. "Perfect." She grinned.

I followed her out of the apartment i rented and out to her little black car, that she had of course stickerbombed. Once we sat i tuned back in to what she was saying to me. "-and i hear he's quite the party-er. though if im honest im mainly there for Grayson. god he's smokin' hot." she started the car and we were off. the venue was about a 30ish minute drive from my place since my complex was closer to the edge of the city. "plus, theyre small enough still that they'll most likely drink with us. is that okay?" she asked, turning to me as she hit her breaks for the red light. "I don't wanna be like, wasted." I mumble. the idea of drinking around strangers never was a good one. "You can though, i'll drive us home." I continued, giving her a small smile. And there was that giddy grin of hers, it always made me feel better. "Perfect! im so excited! i know you dont party much but i promise you'll love it." she cooed, before going on to explain that the tickets she gor were basically pay to get in party tickets, and were limited to about 10 ish people excluding the band obviously.

The next 20 minutes of the drive was us jamming out to the album they were touring. I had to admit, I loved this dudes voice. Chloe went over the band members names and what they played. Joel, the vocalist and guitarist, though apparently he could play several instruments too. Grayson, the drummer, her favorite. And lastly their bassist, Arlo, who also could play a few instruments. The more we sang, the more excited i got. i had never even been to a real concert before, let alone one like this.

Holding the CD case in my hand, i actually started to look at the members. inside the case was a picture of them together, with their signatures beside each of their heads. She had gotten this at their last concert. Joel, a kinda small dude, covered in tattoos and freckles with a dark fuzzzy mohawk and green eyes. Holy shit he had braces too. Grayson, a super tall scary looking man, with long black and blue hair, way more piercings than Joel, and gnarly cutting scares all over his body, even his cheekbones. I see why Chloes makeup was blue now. And Arlo, taller than Joel but shorter than Grayson, a lanky androgynous person, with long hair pulled up in a messy ponytail, glasses, and just as many piercings and tattooes as Joel.

The more i stared at the vocalist i started to giggle "How tall is he?"

"Uhh, five eight i think?"

"that voice comes out of that little man?"

"mhm!"

"thats funny as hell."

She giggled with me "isnt it? he's honestly scrunkly as hell. when i met him he smelled like cigarettes and like a woody smelling cologne"

"Chloe that's oddly specific. Why is that what you noticed?"

"It's hard not to when he's just below me in height. his forehead met my nose."

I rolled my eyes and tuned back into the song, into the venue parking we went.

Notes: Grayson belongs to my friend!! @grioxim

Ch 2

Pretty Handsome Awkward Ch List



[tonberry-yoda]

Hii first of all i hope youre doing great! Make sure to drink water‼️

So i saw that your requests r open but idk if u can do matchups so feel free to ignore this if u dont

But if u do, i was wondering if u could do a jjba matchup from parts 2-7 (any gender idm)

Some info ab me:

Im agender but i use any pronouns, im aroace (! Aroace ppl can still feel romantic feelings js limited, just letting u know bc ppl get confused🥲!)

Id like the matchup to be romantic and some characters i wouldnt rlly like u to include r stroheim, kira, pucci and funny valentine

Okay lets get to the main stuff

My personality is pretty confusing even for me tbh

I can be very serious at times but i can also be very js energetic and yk goofy ig? My energy gets drained quickly after that tho so yeaah

I get told pretty frequently that im harsh but im just honest🤷‍♀️

I prefer saying whats objective and truthful rather than sugarcoating stuff

I can be very supportive tho dont tske this the wrong way

Im an ambivert and idk if yk mbti but since it might help im an Intj e3

Also im a night owl so yeah i love staying up and stargazing from my window💁🏻‍♀️

As for how i act in daily life well, i always try my best to get everything that im assigned done and most of the time i do. I strive for perfection and success in whatever i do and i am very ambitious🏃🏻

At times tho i feel like i need breaks so once in a while i like to just stop and relax, to do absolutely nothing

I like to read books every now and then but i dont have a good attention span and i zone out A LOOOTT

Not just while reading, if im doing anything at all ill just zone out eventually

I really enjoy being in my head with my own thoughts its like my safe space even if its not safe ykwim

Im just a very brain-ish person yk i like thinking i spend hours in my head its like my comfort place

I also like being productive it makes me feel alive

Like doing stuff

Im also a result/success oriented person so yeah

Also other than reading im also into make up and i like to listen to music if u consider that a hobby

I have a very mixed music taste but my friends say its good

I really like lana del rey and indie music but I also love rock and grunge like ac/dc, nirvana, pearl jam etc.

I also listen to stray kids sometimes their music is cool (kpop) but i also listen to j-pop and classical music (ascends me to heaven fr)

I also listen to 90s hiphop. Yeah.

Thats a lot of stuff I KNOW but i told u its a mix

As in fashion i dress either very y2k-ish or like my friends always tell me i look like those 2 girls from mean girls (my clothes)

I like to dress coquette-like though too!

Id also like to be a gothic lolita but i cant so thats sad

I also have brown hair and brown eyes and im average heigthed

My friends say i have the best style so yeah

I dont really have a type but i do have a preference for either people who are like me bcz yk they get me

But i also like funny people like very energetic funny people

We can be like sun moon dynamic idk😭

I like every love language ngl

I have a slight preference for gift giving though

I mean thats the one i use so

The fic is up to u idm what it is

Tysm for ur time, ik that was a lot, feel free to ignore if u dont feel like it have a nice day/night <3

notes: omg hi!! I am finally doing your matchup <3 I feel like it has been in here forever omg. but i am so glad im getting to it today!! i literally have the PERFECT character for you tee hee so let's jump in <3

the character I chose for you is...

GYRO ZEPELLI!!!

you and him have a very similar personality. you can both have a serious front, but goof off with each other, which is the most fun

it makes you a super successful couple too because you both know when it's joking time or not

though you will find him making stupid jokes more often than not

he likes that your harsh/honest

it just really shows that you know who you are and you cant take certain stuff

it just means your strong-willed and that's what he loves about you

there is nothing wrong with being harsh and he tells you that all the time

you and him are very supportive to each other and it really helps the relationship grow

i feel like gyro is honestly a morning person, so you wont find him staying up with you late that often

so while he sleeps next to you pet his hair

but he will 100% stargaze with you while you talk about life and cuddle

you get shit done and that's what he loves about you

and when you two are together, you're literally unstoppable tbh

as ambitious as this man is, he is also lazy, so he will ask you to just sit and cuddle him so you can take a break

and who are you to deny gyro??? i would cuddle in those arms any day

doing absolutely nothing sounds amazing to him, so please stay wrapped in his arms

just know he will fall asleep

since you love reading, but zone out a bit, this man will read to you

he loves to read to you

even if you zone out, he will catch you up

he overall just enjoys reading out loud a lot, so you're going to hear a lot of it

while you're just thinking, he'll be right beside you

you are your own comfort space, but you begin to feel that he is becoming your new one

he is also a mixed music dude, so yall listen to whatever

HE LOVES THE WAY YOU DRESS OMG

literally force him to dress up to and you will be walking ICONS

do his makeup

LITERALLY

he loves when you make him all pretty

he'll braid you hair if you braid his

he is super energetic and funny, so you have the literal perfect man for you

and he will provide every love language, just expect a lot of words of affirmation from him and way too many cuddles

and if you give him gifts, he gets all flustered and blushy

and then he'll get you gifts too :)

and now for your fic :)

You stayed up on the edge of your shared bed with Gyro and watched the stars from your window. You lived in a nice enough area to see all the stars and you were very thankful for that. You couldn't go to sleep, so you decided to open the window and get a breath of fresh air along with your view. Your boyfriend slept quietly next to you, his arms hugged around his own lanky body. You watched his breaths for a moment. In. Out. In. Out. You smiled and ran your fingers through his long sandy blonde hair before looking right back to the window. "Darlin?" You heard from Gyro, making you jump. "What's up?" You asked, seeing his long arms stretch in front of him as he sat up. "Can't sleep?" He asked, avoiding your question. "No, not really. Just wanted to do some stargazing." "Come here," he said, patting his chest. You gladly laid your head on your chest, having an even better view of the stars as he petted the top of your head until he fell back asleep.

~~~~~

matchup rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

[antiradqueer]

Sorry to have to say this publicly, it's just aggrivating.

The most active anti-radqueer blogs are anti-paraphilia (meaning that something out of someone's control if they develop it makes them inherently evil and broken and not their actions) and I'm happy to see one of the loudest ones log off for good. If you want people to not go to spaces where their urges to contact will be encouraged, you cannot push paraphiles away from your community.

One of the last anons they responded positively to was someone saying that someone anti-contact needs to go to therapy because of even having a harmful paraphilia in the first place. Anti-contact!! You know, the people who do not act on their paraphilias and instead find coping skills through fiction, roleplay, kink/BDSM, etc. Trying to find ways to engage with something like a substitute for it that does not cause harm since repression can cause harm as well.

It's gross how the anti-radqueer community treats paraphiles with harmful paraphilias like this. It's frustrating as a paraphile myself, and it feels like anyone who is anti-radqueer only tolerates me or sees paraphiles as okay if something out of our control is something that caters to them and not our actions. How the anti-radqueer community treats paraphiles will push paraphiles over towards radqueers because then we at least have people saying we are not inherently broken for how we are, and often are this way through trauma.

excuse you we dont talk about socks poorly in here, regardless

anyway i just generally dont give my stance on alot of things here so everyone feels comfortable talking, it only seems fair, thats why i let all kinds of asks in here and mainly comment on the parts that id understand/agree with, and i kinda wanna keep it that way cus alot of my opinions cant be boxed under just "anti" or "pro" (yaknow cus theres alot more complex shit than just hating or just liking)

but yeah i get what you mean, im honestly still trying to wrap my head around it, but like at my age i wouldnt really be able to do that yaknoe

also theres like, how many anti radqueer blogs.. i can only think of me, anti rq zone, and all the sunset paras. i might just be missing people cus they dont show up in tags lol

[violentviolette]

is it normal when trying to research pds you might have to feel a kinda vehement denial about it? ive been researching aspd for years (finally got comfortable saying i have it) but just recently started looking into npd and it feels like every time i see a person talking about their experiences with it my brain gets really cagey about it. i'll go from "oh yeah i totally get x thing" to "i am absolutely NOT someone with npd" to trying to justify that thought to myself??? tbf i've gone through this before with aspd and having to slowly break down my hang ups about it but i'm just curious if this is normal or has some underlying meaning to it and isn't some crazy bought of internalized ableism that won't go away lol. i realize you might not be the best person to ask about this since you're professionally diagnosed iirc but i digress

oh yea i think thats absolutely a very common thing that happens and i think its kind of an expected part of the process, especially in the early stages. i think there's multiple factors and things that go into what builds those kinds of responses but i think its just kind of natural given the nature of all this stuff i never had that issue with my aspd diagnosis, because id been diagnosed with CD so early on i always knew i didnt have empathy and so i just didnt reject it like that. but the first time a therapist suggested i might have npd i flipped out about it internally lol i was like "oh absolutely not i definitly dont have that" and struggled and fought with it for a while. even once id accepted i probably did have it, i was still really mad about it i think it's kind of natural when uve thought about urself one way for a chunk of ur life, to at first reject anything that challenges that or says that u might be someone different and ur motives might not be what u thought they were. and i think this is exacerbated when u have a cluster b disorder because of all the stigma surrounding them and how much shame and negativity is just unavoidable

sometimes there's also the "uniqueness" factor. a lot of us experienced heavy rejection as kids and learned very quickly that we were not like others and our experiences were very different. this can create a kind of defensive bubble where we reject identifying with others in order to preserve that feeling of otherness/uniqueness/specialness because we have learned to find comfort in it and challenging that can break a lot of other maladaptive coping mechanisms we've built so we shy away from it. this can also go in the negative direction where we second guess ourselves by downplaying our own experiences and invalidating our symptoms. things like "oh well im not that bad they have it way worse i dont qualify cause its only a little" type of mindsets i also think for npd especially, there can be a kind of uncomfortableness with seeing our own symptoms reflected back at us at first. i have a hard time being close friends with other ppl with npd because when i recognize behaviors in them that i also do, i get really uncomfortable and embarrassed. it triggers a lot of my own insecurities and anxieties and so there's that initial knee jerk reaction to be like "im Not like that" even when deep down we know we are. i think thats understandable given our disorders and struggles and is just something that u have to work to slowly break down. npd comes with a lot of feelings of shame and rejection and so it just takes time to unwrite that instinct, but i do think it eventually goes away for most people especially if ur actively acknowledging it and working on it

[goremet-chef]

anyways im having a lot of transgender type thoughts and specifically ive decided like. heres my fantasy right wouldnt it be so cool to be like.

some part of me wants to just!! its like i mean obviously i dont wanna make any friends cuz thats hard and scary but IF WE CAN SUSPEND THE DISBELIEF RIGHT

being the token boy in a group of girls??? in my sillay little head it gives me euphoria thinking about how different i would be from them, and if they would like. see me as a boy right cuz

this is really sad but we've been trying to move for a while cuz we rent our house for the last like 5+ years and my mom wants to actually own one cuz its just more comfortable yknow UNDERSTANDABLE thats not that sad part btw no the sad part is while we went to look at houses, for most of that house searching i was still in school, and i just

we'd drive by the schools and get a good look at the area and i could see the scene layed out so clearly, me moving in and being the new kid again, but a group of other boys accept me as one of them with no problem and its. it made my heart so full, i could cry just thinking about it

that fullness was replaced by emptiness pretty quickly cuz i knew that would never happen. id have to be a different person entirely personality wise to even be up front about the fact that i was trans back then. LET ALONE thinking that thered would be a very conveniently accepting group of boys ready to let me in the gang right like yeah thats not happening

i dream about it though, i dream about it a lot. it makes me feel so happy man, sometimes i hold onto the thought cuz i know ONE DAY ill get there

in the mean time though? put me in a room with a bunch of girls, and they would probably reject me themselves SKFJS ive got boy brain whether anyone likes it or not sometimes i just wanna go ape shit i just wanna get silly with it i wanna throw myself around and do dumb things for the sake of being a fucking idiot because its FUN

but thats the thing right. cis girls? i dont know many girls to begin with, pretty much none outside of my family, but CIS GIRLS? cant trust them no i honestly dont feel like i cant trust anyone whos not trans which i think at this rate is pretty rational thought

picture it, perfect and golden. pretty transfem group and i will be their token boy its so good ladies listen to me. im so dumb and youll look at me and go eugh whys he like that right?? giggling teeheeing, kicking my feet even

its like ive lived a lot of my life presenting as a girl, so like. i generally feel comfortable around women. but cis women are weird! so trans girls are the way to go. like LOGICALLY that just makes the most sense im so smart

this is a hypothetical probably cuz i cant look past my crippling social anxiety for too long but hey a guy can dream 🤷‍♂️

[tears-of-boredom]

and im. im staying you know, away from home for a little while again. and im trying so hard to be positive and not let my past experiences get in the way. and this place genuinely is kinda lovely. it has a,,.. a very finnish feel. like this place definetly has a pirtti. and the thing that makes it better is that its genuine. like, every bit of this place that looks modern, is something that has been either renovated or replaced. and that is not many things. mainly the one thing that gives this place a genuine homey feel, is that most of the electric wires are visible. you know like, you can see the wire that connects the light switch to the lamp, and stuff like that. and I actually love it that way. theres something so comfortable about being able to locate every power socket in a room by just looking at the ceiling. it also subtly fills a bit of space, making it feel less awkwardly empty ya know.

and also while i genuinely dislike white walls, i love how you can see the wall panels still there. knowing that its not just concrete or something is nice. and also the ugly plastic mat that is the flooring is fun. better than linoleum in my mind.

im. currently im very tired and hungry. but i have some hope and positivity still. ill try and think of this place differently. but. it is still going to be hard.

and, someone knocked on my door. and my nerves pricked at the sound of that. im gonna have to unlearn a lot of things. and im gonna have to try and unmask around these people, because otherwise ill just run out of fuel. but thats like a. a very new thing for me. I have no idea how i actually act in a social situation if im not masking. because ive not done that. for so long that I dont remember the last time.

also at some point ill have to tell the adults that i in fact cannot say no to things, or say what I want. because for some reason my mom thinks i can do that just willy nilly, and told them so. when in fact i fucking cannot. at all.

i still remember one time when i was living at another place, and I guess id missed dinner or something cuz I was out. and an adult asked if I "wanted them to bring me some food" (the food was in a different building). and I probably said something like "well no, i dont need you to do that". and I guess they'd paid attention to how i talk about wants/needs, and absolutely called me out by saying "i didn't ask if you needed it, i asked if you wanted it". and I was absolutely speechless. literally no one had commented on that habit of mine before then. sure, i was aware that i did it,, but you know, people pleaser and not having self worth and all that. i think in the end i said something like "well, if it wouldnt bother you too much, i do kinda want to eat yeah."

anyway. im gonna try. but i dont have a whole lot of positivity and open mindness left.

[tciddaemina]

dear tcidda, beloved,

quick q… how would you go about writing a lesbian romance fic? like what kind of characters would you pick? and how would you make it feel beautiful and passionate whilst retaining the full personhood of the individuals and/or avoiding hetnorm dynamics? (not a requirement, of course) i just admire your work so much and id really like to know how you might approach something like this 💕💕💕

Hmm, thats a good one. most of the romance i write is fic, so i'm going to coach my answer through that if that's okay. In terms of how i'd chose a pairing and relationship... I guess the same way i'd chose one for the slash i write? Like, a lot of the time what makes me want to write for a pairing is a certain level of intensity and a curiosity regarding how the two characters build one another up (see: law/luffy with luffy's impact on law's disregard for his own life, or charles/arthur with how arthur leans a lot on and admires charles for his moral sense and steadiness). As for a fem ship that interests me... probably like Mu Nihuang and Xia Dong from Nirvana in Fire. I've written a short thing for them before, and their dynamic really intrigues me.

Fanfic is different than writing original, but like, even from the get go these are each immensely interesting characters even without being put in a relationship. I could happily write a gen fic about either one of them, and so smushing them together just adds together all that complexity and sharp edges. Like, this is a rule i use for my rare original fic as well - if a person isn't interesting enough for their own solo story, they're not interesting enough to be part of a romance story either. But like yeah, these are both bad-ass, tasty, highly competent and complicated women who have succeeded in establishing themselves in highly male fields. people are intimidated by them, and rightly so, they're both terrifying.

They each have a lot of baggage and sharp edges. Xia Dong's husband died because of a (supposed) betrayal by the man who would have been Mu Nihuang's fiance. They both grieve the loss of their respective loves, and that grief has shaped who they are as people (I guess we're dealing with two bi women here rather than two strict lesbians, but like, no matter). This trauma has shaped how they've become strong, but also the ways in which they've become sharp edged, and it causes a complex dynamic between them - Xia Dong can't help but hate Mu Nihuang's old dead fiance for killing her husband, even while still keeping company and being fond of Mu Nihuang. Mu Nihuang still loves her old fiance and believes the charges were false, but she knows Xia Dong doesn't believe that and she doesn't resent her for it. it's a landmine between them, and one they stumble over sometimes, but they still value each other regardless. They will never not love their old partners, but those people are gone and here they still are, so they take comfort and support where they can. in a sense, they both feel that the other one is the only one who can truly understand the depths of their grief and what they went through - because they both felt it, but in different ways.

(this got a bit long, so here's a read more to spare the poor scrollers)

And so like, in terms of answering your question about avoiding stereotypes regarding who plays what part of a relationship... There's only so much I can say here, because a lot of this is dependent on the characters you writing about but like, I guess just write them like people. Like, neither Xia Dong or Mu Nihuang is the 'girlfriend' here and neither is the 'boyfriend', one isn't playing wife for the other. One isn't the "caring one" and the other the "stoic, standoff-ish one", one isn't the "assertive one" and the other the "shy one". They're both strong, assertive, confident women, each of whom has their own life going on. And sure, depending on your characters and pairing, maybe one of your lesbians does have some of these traits - there's nothing inherently wrong about being a character that has an interesting in sewing or cooking, for example - it only starts to become sort of annoying and stereotyping when that's their entire personality.

A common trend I think when writing romance is to make the two characters extremes on each end of a scale, to create a sort of opposites attract. One is the happy cheerful one and one the broody serious one, and that can be fun too, but when you do it that way you can end up falling into the stereotype traps, where these behaviors of being the "soft one" codes one as the "feminine one" and the "hard one" as the "masculine one". And, tbh, yeah contrast is a very useful and fun tool for teasing out how people who are different none the less work well together, it's often more interesting to look at two characters who are similar - e.g. Mu Nihuang and Xia Dong - and look instead at the nuance of how they're different despite it, to look beyond the surface level stuff and see how each one has taken a different path to reach this same place, and how those differences influence their opinions on subject and their worldview.

It just comes down to writing a character who is complex and multifaceted, woman or man, lesbian ship or not. And I feel like it can sometimes be harder when writing women, just because femininity is something that is so stereotyped, and even trying to lean away from the stereotypes can lean into other stereotypes, but I think it comes down to being able to write a character who is a women/feminine, without that being their personality. Like, one of the reasons I really like ghibli films is because they manage this with their female protagonists - nausicaa, for example, is a beautiful example of a heroine who is compassionate and kind and feminine, but deeply strong and interesting, because her personality isn't just "i'm a girl". She gets along well with children, she's highly empathetic, but all of that only serves to fuel a deep abiding will to do what's right and a willingness to fight to save her people. She's kind yes, but oh my god Lord Yupa has to take a sword all the way through his arm to stop her from slaughtering a room full of knights - dear fuck she's badass.

This goes the same for writing romance, i think. A character can be a woman, and like feminine things, but so long as she feels nuanced then it won't feel stereotypical. A good way of doing this ties into another of your questions, regarding personhood. A way to give a character a strong sense of personhood is to give them agency and priorities - what are their goals, what do they care about, how does the way they see the world (and themselves) come into conflict with the people around them. Like to come back to the example of Mu Nihuang and Xia Dong for example - yes, i'd write them in a relationship, and maybe even spending large amounts of time cohabiting in one of their houses, but they've each got their own stuff going on. Mu Nihuang has to disappear for months at a time to fight wars, Xia Dong has to go on secret missions to do spy shit and comes back injured - this forms something they can support each other through, giving them the chance to show why they're together, that they understand each other. Mu Nihuang doesn't ask how Xia Dong got her wounds, because she understands the nature of her work and respects it, but will help care for her in the aftermath anyway. But it also provides the opportunities for conflict - as we said before, they fundamentally disagree on the matter of what caused the death of Xia Dong's husband, and they do fight about this. It's a constant eggshell between them, and one they have to move around, choosing to live with the elephant in the room, and coming back together even after they do fight and one walks out.

Passion comes like that as well I think. Showing why they stick together, why they love each other, what it is they get out of the relationship is important. It's not that they "love each other", but that they understand each other, and respect each other, and support each other, that they can get strength from the other's presence, that in that person they have someone who understand them and what they went through and respects them deeply. It's why I don't watch a lot of romance on TV, where its just sort of love at first sight and they spend the entire time making out and just fighting bc they can't stand each other as people and fundamentally share no similarities. Each person stays in the relationship bc the other person gives them something - not like, in a material sense, but emotionally. That's how you get a depth of feeling and a sense of oh, these people actually really care about each other.

A lot of this is applicable advice whether you're writing lesbians or a het couple or anything, to be honest. And yes, because of the way lesbian and gay relationships have been so focused on in media, there are a lot of stereotypes in play with how they're perceived that can make people annoyed or uncomfortable when reading or writing them. One thing I'd say if you want to try avoid stereotyping and putting people into het gender roles in the relationship is to avoid labeling your characters with top/bottom or sub/dom. Like, rather than setting them into a hard and fast role with stuff like that and their personality, think about how instead they would love their partner - the things they like, the things they're meh on with but enjoy anyway bc their partner likes it and they like it when their partner is having a good time, what things they just don't like and prefer not to do. Just because a female character is assertive and confident doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be in control in the bedroom or be the one doing the pegging, if any is occurring. Like, decoupling what people like in the bedroom from their personality and whether they're a 'dom' or 'sub' is honestly the number one piece of advice I can give for avoiding weird stereotypes when writing same sex relationships.

As for the rest, yeah you can have one character who is more homely than the other, who likes cooking and sewing and being a homebody, but honestly the easiest way to make it not stereotypical is to just add in something unexpected. Yeah maybe she likes baking, but she also swears furiously while doing it and is very bad tempered when she cooks, hating it right until the moment its done and then being like - oh yeah this is tasty, that was fun baking, definitely will make again. People are weird. You're weird. I'm weird. Make all your female characters weird and odd and complicated and even a little off-putting. Give them flaws and let them fuck things up, both in their relationship and in the plot. Make them disasters, give them feral wet cat energy and maladaptive harmful coping strategies. Give them real proper differences of opinion to have arguments about, not superficial dumb stuff but real actual issues. A perfect woman doesn't exist, and yet we always try to write them anyway - people who are kind and beautiful and always right and gentle and empathetic. Make them more complicated than that, give even the nice ones fucked up things going on inside their heads. That's the fastest way to make them seem like real people instead of just character archetypes and stereotypes.

Anyway, this got a bit long, but I hope that it answers your question. Every person writes differently, so maybe not all of this will apply to the sort of stuff you want to write, but I hope you find some of it helpful. Thanks for the ask. It definitely wasn't what I was expecting to find in my inbox, but it was very fun to think about.

Good luck with the writing