#can you guess which ‘party’ produced each of these statements | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

filterjeons · 3 years

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private show | jjk

✦ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

✦ summary: throughout your relationship, you never thought jungkook would ask a certain type of action from you. however, you take it into consideration...without the intention of him nearly catching you

✦ rating: M, not suitable for minors

✦ genre: smut

✦ word count: 7.4k

✦ warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, tsundere!reader, rough & unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!!), dirty talk, degradation bc im a whore for that, masterbation, voyeurism, oral (f receiving), fingering, orgasm denial

Honestly, you didn’t know what you did in your past life to earn a man like Jungkook but you weren’t complaining one bit anyways. By just one look at you, people assumed you weren’t the type to have a boyfriend and you would spend the rest of your life alone. Luckily, you managed to prove them all wrong by being with someone who loved you for the way you were instead of your money.

It was a blessing and a curse to be born into a rich family of doctors who expected you to be the heir of the family hospital. Despite having your future already planned for you, you fell in love with playing the violin after being introduced to it when you were young. The feeling of holding the violin against your jaw as the bow ran across the strings to produce a classical melody that you’ve familiarized yourself with throughout the years.

You would much rather be at a violin recital in a beautiful dress playing one of Bach’s sonatas than being cooped up in your room studying biology. However, your parents didn’t feel the same way.

When you were about 6, you ranked second at a competition against tons of kids who were in their later-preteens but that wasn’t enough to prove to your parents how much you loved music. They took it as a sign of failure because “it’s not being first” and always used that argument against you to emphasize on how you have to be at the top of your class.

“Mommy! Guess what, I got second place! Second out of a bunch of bigger kids! I didn’t expect-” you squealed, kicking the back of the limo’s glass partition. Instead of candy, you were buzzing with excitement due to how well you placed in your county’s music recital. But what you didn’t know was that even a place close to first was never enough. “Why didn’t you get first?”

As those words ran through your ears, you felt your blood run cold and the eyes that were dancing of excitement and joy started to dull. You clutched your certificate tightly, tears starting to swell up.

“That’s because there was a sixth grader who was better than me and she was really good, she can play the piano-” “You see, if you can’t get first then you shouldn’t pursue a career in music. It’s too hard and competitive for you anyways. How about you focus on your studies, especially since you’re going to take over the hospital when you’re older.”

Up until last year which was your freshman year of college, you obeyed them by devoting your time to studying and only treating music as just a hobby while you hide your feelings along the way. Now that you think about it, you barely had friends during high school since every break period, you were always alone in the music room and you were too stubborn to go up to people. The only reason why you would talk to someone is to work on a group project but it ended up being that you would do all of the work while they slack off.

Everyday felt dull and uninteresting, especially since you’re being put in a fate that you don’t even want. But like some stupid cliche, it all changed ever since you met him.

You didn’t even intend to meet him, hell you barely knew he existed. But the night of your chemistry midterm, the apartment next to you decided to have a party which most of the school is invited to and blast loud music that could be heard from the next town over.

It couldn’t get any worse as you were already stressed from college and your parent’s crazy expectations and you were definitely not failing otherwise you’re dead meat. Normally, you would just try to sleep it out with earplugs but since you barely ate anything but coffee and granola bars and you were tired from the 24 hour studying, that was your last straw. So you did the thing a person would do in your situation: marching over to the party in your purple star-printed nightgown to give them a piece of your mind.

Already at the door, you could feel people’s stares burn into you, due to why you came to the party when you didn’t bother interacting with people and why you were in your pajamas. Maybe people were going to talk about you on Instagram but you didn’t care, you just wanted to ensure that you have enough sleep so you could at least pass.

Unfortunately for you, you must’ve looked extremely stupid because you were wandering around the same area like a drunk man. Random people did offer to get you a drink but you declined; after all it was a school night. Eventually you gave up trying to even bother talking after seeing the host, local frat boy Jackson Wang, surrounded by the rest of the partygoers in a beer pong game.

Frustrated and exhausted, you hauled yourself up to a seemingly empty room and collapsed onto the bed. Not only did you enter a college party in your pajamas but you wasted precious time studying over something idiotic like this. With all of these negative emotions inside of you, screaming inside a pillow was the first thing that came into your mind. And unfortunately, someone had to be the witness of your near mental breakdown.

“Woah, is everything okay?” a velvety voice chuckled, patting your back slightly. Well, another reason why your night is absolute shit. You turned your face up to chew off the mysterious person but for some reason, your voice was all caught up in your throat.

He was different, different from all of the boys that ever interacted with you. Despite you being a complete loner, the guys in your high school tried to hook up with you but you were never interested. They stunk of axe and the only reason why they’re “popular” is because they were on a sports team. Besides, you were too busy in your academics to even think about dating.

You couldn’t really see him but the guy who’s in the room with you looks better than every single guy in your high school combined: his long dark hair in a mini-ponytail contrasting with his cute bunny-like face.

“Wh-who are you?” “Jeon Jungkook. I’m a member of the boxing team and my family owns a records shop downtown. What about you?”

“I-i-” “Aren’t you Y/N, the smart girl who doesn’t talk to anybody and spends her time either studying or in the music room with her violin?” Thank god the room is dark because your face was burning up badly. Barely anyone knew you and if they did, they had bad things to say about you because you were so quiet and boring. However, what he said was a fact and you shouldn’t blame him for having an impression on you due to what other people said. It hurted nonetheless though, especially since he was a part of a sports team.

“Yeah, that’s me. What do you want? If it’s homework answers, then fine!” you snapped, immediately standing up and walking away. You were absolutely done with this night, all you wanted to do is sleep so you have some sanity tomorrow.

“You sure are feisty. It’s cute,” he said with a cocky grin stuck on his face. Oh, how you wanted to slap it off.

“If you’re asking me out, I’m not interested!” you fought back. Although you were one step out of the door, something about him made you want to stay. Like you wanted to talk to him.

“I didn’t say anything about that but if you want it that way-”

“No! I-I’m sorry for acting all rude, I’m just having a really bad night and I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone,” you mumbled, turning on the light. Oh how it was a bad idea..

Now that you could really see his face clearly, your heart felt like it was about to explode. He was dressed in a simple all-black T-shirt and jeans with combat boots to match. What really captivated you were the tattoos on his hand and up to his elbow, each symbol and design etched out beautifully which must’ve taken hours.

Although you were at least wearing clothes, you felt exposed due to the stupid pajamas you have on. He somehow sensed your embarrassment and gave you a small smirk which made it ten times worse.

“Well, do you want to explain why you were screaming in a pillow earlier?” Normal you definitely wouldn’t spill her feelings to a hot guy she just met five minutes ago but with him, you felt safe. Like for one night, all your worries and feelings are immediately gone and it’s just you and him.

Was this the stupid shit they call “love at first sight”?

“My midterm is tomorrow and I can’t sleep from all of the noise so I came here to yell at the host of the party. Jackson Wang, fuck you and your decision to host a party today,” you sighed, settling yourself next to him. You would expect him to immediately laugh and make fun of you since it was something a lot of people did to you whenever you cared about your grades. Instead, he looked at you with understandment and listened to what you had to say.

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I went to this stupid party in the first place,” he replied, making you snort out a laugh. As you were trying to collect yourself from his statement, Jungkook’s mouth turned up into a small smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect that. Anyways, I guess I should get going since I have a big day ahead of me,” you smiled, feeling a small weight being lifted off of your shoulders. As you trudge out the door, Jungkook’s arm stops yours for a second.

“Do you think I can have your phone number? Not for dating but you sound like a really cool person to be around and no offense but you seem lonely.” “Thanks for the compliment. But here you go,” you said sarcastically, scribbling down your phone number on a random piece of stationary in the drawer next to the bed. Maybe this is all a fever dream, maybe you’re hallucinating due to how little sleep you’ve gotten during midterm week.

“I’ll see you soon…” he waved you goodbye as you gave a final look at the door. He was interesting but now isn’t the time to be distracted! You’re pretty sure that if you pinch yourself, you’ll be back in your dorm since this is just a dream? “Also, d-don’t take it the wrong way! It’s not like I like you or anything! I just wrote down my number because you asked nicely! We’re never going to date!” Not only did you pass your midterm but your last line to Jungkook in the stuffy college party would become your famous last words.

It’s been years since you and Jungkook met at that party and a lot has changed then. You started to grow feelings and date him a few weeks after your midterm, eventually making the relationship official in a month. After a few months into dating, he introduced his parents to you first. They were a sweet family with amazing home cooked meals which you were dying to recreate and luckily, they accepted you with open arms.

However, him meeting your parents wasn’t that smooth. Now that you look back on that day, not only were you permanently deciding to be with the one that you love but it also felt like you were breaking free out of the shell that your parents trapped you in because you didn’t want to go down the path they set for you.

You shook your head to yourself, not wanting to be reminded of the painful past. Now, you were a violinist playing in recitals and companies and Jungkook was running his parent’s record shop. You were happy and you didn’t care about what your stupid parents think. They can simply ask someone else to run the hospital and it’ll still be fine.

As soon as the practice track ended, you turned off the metronome and packed your violin away. The apartment that you and Jungkook shared was average-sized, a notable difference from the mansion you used to live in but it was better. You were with the person you love and that’s all you could ever need. It may sound corny but a simple life with him was all you ever wanted.

After you pack away your violin, you impatiently wait alongside the door for Jungkook to get home. Right now, he has boxing practice for a match next week and he wanted to stay with his teammate Taehyung to be the best that he can but he’s stopping by for a day. You’re not into boxing but like the good girlfriend you were, you attend most of his matches (some conflicted with your performances) and cheer him on.

Although you miss having him by your side, you’re also aware of how much boxing means to him as it was a break from the hectic life of owning a music store. Another positive in your new life was the amount of music there was, a good break from the science and math that filled your childhood.

You heard some jiggling among the door locks and surely enough, Jungkook’s handsome face was in your view. He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt and some blue jeans, a very simple outfit after spending most of his time at the boxing gym.

“Hey baby,” he cooed, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Hi. I’m so happy you’re back, I was starting to worry that you forgot about me,” you joked, carrying his boxing bag to your shared bedroom with him tagging behind.

“You know I would never forget about you,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the back of your neck. Instead of wriggling away like you normally do, you allow yourself to relish in his affection since he wasn’t a person who did it often.

“I missed you..” you mumbled, turning around and kissing him. He returned the kiss more passionately, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. The sudden action made you forget about everything, focusing only on him. Unfortunately, with your senses locked on him, it caused you to fall onto the bed, your head nearly hanging off of the edge. Jungkook used your weakness to have more control over the kiss and you, carefully grabbing the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Even though he always controls kissing you, his lips are also full of love and longing due to him being gone for too long.

“God I missed this,” he mumbled, breaking away to remove the buttons of your blouse and kissing the side of your neck. You whined from his touch, feeling a bit embarrassed due to how much time it’s been since the two of you were together.

“What is it baby girl, are you nervous? Come on, we’ve known each other for years and I know you can take anything I give you.” It was true of course but for some reason, it felt like the first time you had sex with him.

After your shirt has been taken off, you unconsciously cover your chest with your arms. You didn’t know why you’re acting so self-conscious, especially since you’ve been a challenger to him in bed.

“Hey, are you okay? We can stop if you don’t want to-” Jungkook asked softly, reaching over to take your hand.

What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just Jungkook and like he said, you’ve known him for too long. Besides, don’t you have too much pride to act this way? You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at him with a seductive smile.

“You were taking too long to take off my shirt. How boring,” you said coyly, tapping his nose playfully. He returned your gaze, his eyes darkened with lust and desire.

“Well then baby girl, how about you take off the rest of your clothes since you seem like you want to do it,” he muttered, sitting up with his attention completely on your chest. One thing you were infamous in your relationship for is being a brat, a mix of you being submissive but not backing down completely. Even though you liked being a good girl sometimes, the rest is just you on the receiving end. After all, you won’t back down to a challenge, nonetheless if your challenger’s your significant other.

If a person only based off of what they saw, they would think that you were the one taking absolute control due to the aura you give off and your harsh personality. However, at least between you and him since you were one to keep your private life a secret, he is the one with the reins and you were completely fine with it.

You unclipped your bra, throwing it at some random place in the room and revealed your exposed breasts. He ogled at your body up and down, his familiar lustful gaze running through his eyes.

“Hey, what are you staring at?” you barked, slowly starting to feel awkward. Unlike you, Jungkook had no shame when it came to your bedroom activities and there were times when he would just stare at you while you’re completely bare. How embarrassing...but it’s no big deal.

“Watch your mouth you little brat. Do I have to punish you on my day back?” he said darkly, his tone immediately making the back of your hairs stand up. Your face softened, heat forming in your cheeks as you twirled a random piece of your hair, a random habit that you’ve done since elementary school.

“I-I’m sorry.” “Sorry what, baby girl? You’re smarter than that.” “Sorry..sir.” After that word was uttered in your soft and obedient tone, Jungkook could feel his dick growing harder by the second. Hearing you give up all of your confidence and letting him control you never failed to turn him on.

“Now take off the rest of your clothes, sweetie. Or are you going to continue being a dumb little girl and keep playing with me,” he growled softly, leaning back on the bed frame. You felt like acting up some more but he truly was scary when he’s upset and you didn’t want to make his visit back bad because of your behavior so you simply did what he said. Even though you wouldn’t admit it to the world, you also love obeying Jungkook.

You quickly unzippered your jeans, pulling them off along with your panties and kicking them out of the bed. The warmth from the clothes were immediately replaced by the chilly air from the air conditioner, your nipples standing up and goosebumps filling your body. It was humiliating, especially since Jungkook can see you so clearly.

“My precious sweetheart,” he cooed, leaning over you and you could feel his hardened member alongside the roughness of his jeans as he slowly grinded into you.

“Ahh…” You didn’t know what to say, except you knew you wanted more. Jungkook’s mouth was latched onto your nipples, sucking them harshly while his other hand was massaging and flicking on them repeatedly. You felt your eyes roll back to your head and your pussy dampening, even though he wasn’t doing anything yet.

“You like this baby?” he asked gruffly, tugging on your nipple teasingly as it sends sparks of pleasure inside you. You only let out a whine in response as he broke apart from your chest and slowly made his way down your body.

All of a sudden, he inserted one of his long fingers inside of your core, sending vibrations throughout your body. You squealed from the intrusion as your body tried to familiarize itself with his finger, your walls clenching around his digit.

“Damn, have you gotten tighter since last time?” He started to thrust his finger in and out of you at a moderate pace, trying to get you used to the feeling. As if one isn’t enough for you, he suddenly inserted a second one to stretch you out.

Your mind was a haze, not paying attention to anything that was happening around you and focusing on the pleasure that Jungkook was giving you. His fingers attempted to reach the spongy section of your g-spot, the place that absolutely had you in hysterics. Surely enough, his fingertips grazed over it and you could nearly come undone at any second.

While he added an additional finger and completely filled you up, you could feel his smooth tongue on your clit, flicking and sucking on it feverishly. High-pitched moans and mewls were coming out of your mouth embarrassingly as you tugged on Jungkook’s long locks in order to steady yourself of the pleasure.

You could feel him curl his fingers and touch your g-spot, sending sparks within you. At this point, you were barely in a stable mindset due to how good he was making you feel. You felt a knot building up in your stomach, your orgasm coming close to you.

“Are you gonna cum now baby girl? Do you want to cum for Sir? Yeah, I know you do, I could feel it coming,” he said tauntingly, his fingers and tongue abusing your cunt and the vibrations among it made the sensation feel even better.

“Y-yeah, I’m gonna-” you whimpered pathetically but to your dismay, he completely stopped by sliding his fingers out and removing his face. With your release dismissed like it was nothing, you felt annoyance build up on you as your body shook from the denial.

“What the hell? Why did you stop?” you groaned, your eyes shooting sharp daggers at Jungkook. If looks could kill, he would surely be dead within two seconds. But all that’s on his face were your liquids and a cocky smirk that you want to wipe off instantly.

“Because I want you to cum on my dick first. It’s been so long since I’ve been inside you, y’know?” he said casually, pulling off his shirt like it was nothing and revealing his impressive 6-pack. One thing that you were always in awe of was his figure. Jungkook was a really athletic person, always finding time out of his day to work out and maintain his muscular body. You didn’t mind if he didn’t have abs but it neutralized his cute face that could easily kill anyone.

“It’s been a while, yeah? You ready kitten?” Jungkook kicked off his jeans and his boxer that covers his massive bulge was immediately in your vision. You could feel your thighs rubbing together as you were craving him inside you.

“You’re calling me kitten now?” you mumbled shyly as he sat on the edge of the bed, palming his hardened member.

“Yeah because you’re my cute kitty, aren’t you? Do you want to take off my boxers for me?” he smirked, knowing how excited you are to see him like this again. Like there was no tomorrow, you yanked it off impatiently and his dick sprang out, hitting his abs before standing up instantly.

“You’re excited, aren’t you? Don’t deny it,” Jungkook teased, stroking his member teasingly before setting you down on your back and hovering above you.

“I want it,” you mumbled impatiently, getting excited with the thought of him fucking you until you can’t walk again. He chuckled at your reaction, slowly slipping himself inside you. You shrieked from the sudden movement and tried to make yourself comfortable even though this wasn’t new to you.

“Alright baby, let’s go,” he said gruffly, slowly pulling out and slamming it back inside within the next five seconds. You let out a scream as he picked up the pace into the all-too familiar rough and fast one.

“Damn, you’ve gotten way tighter since the last time I’ve fucked your brains out. Feels so good for Sir,” he groaned, his dick completely filling you warm and deep to the point where it could nearly reach your guts. “Does my baby like that? Like getting dicked down where I can feel her in your stomach?” “Ahh, oh my god!” You could only moan and whine in response, pathetic noises coming out of your mouth as Jungkook’s dick hit every surface of your pussy. His veins already made it even more pleasurable and you could feel the tip grazing upon your g-spot, making you even more sensitive.

It hasn’t been long but embarrassingly, you could feel your orgasm arrive once again due to how good his dick was thrusting into you. As he continued to drill your abused cunt, you could feel your legs tremble at the sensitive feeling and the impending sensation of your orgasm starting to grow in your core.

“S-sir, oh my god-” you mewled as Jungkook used his force to flip you on your stomach, your face covered in the pillows. You couldn’t feel him inside you for a second but suddenly, he slammed inside you with no remorse and continued fucking you at that fast pace.

Your cunt throbs as you prepare yourself to cum all over his dick. Jungkook could sense it too by the way your walls started to tighten around him, making it even more pleasurable than the last time you two had sex due to how tight you were. You were praying that he doesn’t deny your orgasm again but there were times where he was that cruel. But you’ve behaved enough to not warrant that type of treatment.

“Is my baby gonna cum now? Go on, come for me, I want to see you come undone on my dick,” he chanted lowly, his pace fastening due to his orgasm coming in soon. Like his words set off a reaction inside you, you screamed out his name and squirted on his dick and stomach. Using that as fuel to keep going, Jungkook thrusts even faster than before to catch his own high as you try to calm yourself down from your own orgasm.

“Ahh, Jungkook-” you whined from the sensitivity but you kept holding on so he could cum too. The way his sweat dripped off of his forehead and complimenting with his dark locks nearly made you want to cum again.

“Fuck, I’m cumming, oh shit,” he moaned out, his thrusts slowing down and surely enough, you could feel his dick spurt out his seed inside you. He started to pull out and stroke himself, spurts of his cum filling up your pussy to not waste a drop.

You and him started to breathe heavily from the intense fuck as you gingerly pulled up the sheets to cover your body. It’s not like you were embarrassed of him seeing your body, it was a habit you did after you have sex with him.

“Did you miss me?” he smiled, lying down next to you and covering an arm around your waist. You nodded, snuggling up next to him on the neck of his crook. There weren't any words spoken from the both of you for a while, instead you were just enjoying the presence of him next to you because after today, he’ll be gone again.

If you had it your way, you didn’t want him to go but he really wanted to participate in his boxing match and what kind of girlfriend were you if you didn’t support him? Still, you loved every moment with him and he was the one thing you absolutely loved in your life.

After a moment of silence, Jungkook broke the silence by facing towards you with seriousness in his eyes. You were worried that something may have happened, so you braced yourself with the worst that could happen. But surprisingly, his words were a bigger shock than any other disaster you could think of.

“Y/N, do you mind if I ask something of you? I hope you don’t find it uncomfortable or invasive.” “Sure, what is it?” You should’ve known from the cheeky smirk he gave you that he was going to request this type of stuff.

“I want to see you touch yourself. I think you’ll look so hot fucking yourself with your fingers while all I’m doing is just watching you.” “What the hell?!”

You were lying if you said you didn’t think about it a lot, especially since Jungkook left the house today this afternoon. Now that he wasn’t there, the apartment felt lonely again and you automatically missed him.

However, the thought of him also brings you back to the conversation you had after you two had sex after a while.

“You’ve never touched yourself? I figured that something like that would come easy to you!” “Well- you know I have dignity right! It’s already embarrassing enough that I’m your submissive!”

“You’re right, it’s already hot seeing you act all whiny and needy for my touch.” “Shut up! Stop making fun of me!”

You shook your head, trying to get rid of Jungkook’s words. With the intent to clean your room to take some stuff out of your mind, you walked to the shared bedroom and started to rearrange random knick-knacks that were placed in peculiar locations.

While you were wandering around, your eye caught sight of a black duffel bag that was in a hidden corner of your bed. With curiosity, you approached it to check to see what was inside. It was heavy and filled with boxing gloves and other equipment, meaning that it was Jungkook’s.

He must’ve forgotten it when he left today, you mused, holding the glove to your chest. A normal person would immediately contact him and give it back but it was like a living piece of him, having its name and scent. You can’t believe you already miss him that much to hold onto his boxing gloves for some comfort. How pathetic.

The smell of him already reminded you of yesterday, when he touched you and made you feel so good. You groaned to yourself as you feel your panties dampening just from the thought of Jungkook giving you pleasure.

“Y’know what, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Alright Jungkook, I’ll do it,” you muttered to yourself as you slowly grazed your fingers to your lower region. You could already feel the slick coming out of your panties, signalling how wet you were.

You were a smart person but frankly, you were confused on how to touch yourself especially since this was your first time. Memories of the way Jungkook inserted and thrusted his fingers inside you flashed through your mind, giving you an idea on how to start.

You slide your panties off to your ankles and slowly insert your index finger inside of your core, letting yourself get familiar to your own fingers inside of you. It sure felt different than when Jungkook did it, it wasn’t enough to completely make you feel undone. You pumped another finger inside, giving you something inside at least but it was no better than Jungkook’s touch.

“Ahh, Jungkook,” you moaned softly, flicking your own clit with your fingers which makes the pleasure at least a bit better. You would rather have him with you but it was enough to fill up a small part of his absence. Remembering every time he fucked you harshly was enough to quicken your pace with your fingers, your walls clenching around them and your orgasm closely approaching.

Your other hand groped your breasts, flicking your nipple and massaging them while the other was thrusting in and out of your needy cunt. You were completely in your own euphoria, the world completely fading away from you. Unfortunately for you, that euphoria is only short-lived.

An annoying sound ran throughout your room, the culprit being your cell phone. You groaned with disappointment as you attempted to pry your fingers out of your pussy and your orgasm fading away with every time the ringtone chimed.

With your slick-covered hands, you read the text and your blood started to run cold from the words that were displayed on the screen.

[Jungkook ♡]

- Hi babe, I’m coming home bc I forgot my boxing bag.

- Sorry that this was sudden

- Actually, I’m outside the apartment rn

You’re fucked. Absolutely fucked. But lucky, you still had a minute to spare to make it seem like you weren’t doing anything. You put his boxing glove back in the bag and wobbled downstairs to the front door. The door locks started to jingle and you immediately opened them just for him to take his bag and go. You love him with all of your heart but now’s not the time to chat with him.

“Hey Y/N, do you have my bag?” he asked across from you, looking as good as ever. You forced a smile and shoved his bag in front of your face.

“Yeah, it’s this one right? So, here it is so you can get going now! Goodbye!” you grinned, sweat dripping down your face.

Jungkook looked puzzled on why you were acting that way but decided to go along with it. “O-okay, thanks.”

“Of course! Now, you should get going now! Your boxing rehearsal isn’t going to wait forever, is it?” you chuckled, trying to push him out of the door but he didn’t budge. After taking a quick glance at you (more specifically your legs and the amount of slick dripping down), he decided to stay.

“Woah, woah, there’s something going on. Let me in,” he said stubbornly, pushing against you to get inside the apartment.

“What are you talking about? There’s literally nothing going on! You should go back to the boxing place!” you argued but he wouldn’t listen. Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled you upstairs into the bedroom and set you down, looking straight into your eyes. You immediately blushed as his eyes held such confusion and hunger inside.

“Don’t lie to me, only bad girls lie. So tell me baby, what exactly is going on?”

Surely he didn’t know right? You still have some time to lie because there’s no way he knows.

“I was taking a nap before you texted me.”

“Without your panties on and a shit ton of slick dripping down your thighs?” he asked with confusion, pulling up your skirt and revealing your soaking pussy, throbbing due to the atmosphere. At this point, you were absolutely stuck in a corner as Jungkook stared at the way you’re completely aroused.

“Ahh, um..” “Are you cheating on me, Y/N?” His eyes were now full of sadness and hurt and you could immediately feel your heart start to break.

“N-no! Of course not! I would never cheat on you, you’re the one who I love! It’s just because..” you tried to get the idea out of his head, holding his hands tightly. Jungkook’s face brightened up a bit before being replaced with suspicion.

“So, what’s up? What were you doing while I left?” There was absolutely no talking yourself out of this because Jungkook would find out either way at this point. But at least it’s better than making up a stupid lie, right? “I..um..remember how you said you wanted to see me touch myself yesterday?” “Of course.” “Well...I was doing that..” you mumbled with embarrassment, avoiding his eye contact. Jungkook’s ears picked up what you said and his face lit up with excitement and desire.

“Say that again for me?” he smirked, loving how soft and shy you were now.

“I..was touching myself while I was thinking of you,” you said a bit loudly but it was still so embarrassing. You had no idea why he was all so happy right now but it made you happy nonetheless.

“Do you think you can show me?” he grinned, staring up into your eyes.

“What?! N-no! It’s private right? You see, it’s private for a reason! Now you got your bag and figured out why I was acting weird so you can go now!” you snapped, heat automatically filling up your body.

“It’s okay, I can skip practice today. This is important, why didn’t you tell me?” “It’s not something I should tell you.” “Anyways, you’ve been a bad girl today. Touching yourself while thinking of me, you’re so naughty. So your punishment is to reenact what you did before I came back and I’m not leaving until I see you touch yourself. But don’t worry, if you need help then I’m always here,” Jungkook purred, his dominant persona on. You gulped down a lump down your throat but you weren’t ready to back down to him yet.

“No I’m not! I’m not giving up my dignity just yet!” “Come on, little girl. I know you were fucking yourself like a little whore while you were gone. Did your tiny little fingers fill you up completely, better than my cock? I know you didn’t because even though you’re a whore, you’re still such a slut for my dick.” His dirty words made you even more turned on than normal with even more slick running down your thighs. You knew it was better to obey, especially since he’s talking like this. With that being said, you scooted yourself with the back of your head hitting the bed frame. After a minute of hesitation, you lifted up your skirt which revealed your whole pussy to him. Jungkook stared intently, noticing every little twitch that it made as it’s longing for something to be inside it and how wet it has become. His lips were curled into a smirk as your fingers started to graze over your folds.

Taking a deep breath, you inserted two of your fingers to aid the throbbing in your core. It felt different than when you did it before, maybe due to Jungkook staring at every little movement you made.

Despite your initial refusal, having him watch over you turned you on even more and the throbbing only continued to get worse after you slowly started to move your fingers. You didn’t know how much it turned you and him on, judging from his erection in his pants.

“Ahh, oh my god,” you moaned, adding an additional finger and groping your boobs with your other hand.

Jungkook’s mouth was in shock, shocked at how you can look so sexy touching yourself even though it was your first time. His dick was begging to be released in his now tight sweatpants but just watching you like this was more than enough.

He’s never admitted it directly to you but surprisingly, he’s such a voyeur and seeing you wrecked with only your fingers or even a toy could make him cum as hard as him actually fucking you.

“J-Jungkook, please…” you mewled, rocking your hips against your small hands in an attempt to hit your g-spot, where only your boyfriend knows.

By now, you’ve inserted your whole hand inside of your core and it still wasn’t as satisfying as Jungkook’s long fingers inside you. You should’ve been embarrassed that his vision was at you masterbating but frankly, you didn’t care anymore.

“Shit baby girl, just like that, fucking ruin yourself,” he grunted, slightly stroking his hardened member through his sweatpants.

“I want your mouth on me,” you cried, slowly starting to feel the same ecstatic feeling of your release. The way his eyes were set on you alone brings you closer to your high as you’re practically grinding on your hand.

Luckily, Jungkook heard your wish and immediately brought his face down to your core, taking your fingers out and licking your clit like there was no tomorrow. His face was completely buried with the goal of eating you out and getting your cum out of you. It wasn’t a thought that ever crossed your mind but you never realized how much better Jungkook made you feel and how the throbbing seemed to go away after he was with you. His face was absolutely covered in your juices and adding to his warm mouth were his long fingers.

“You like that don’t you, you slutty little girl?” he hummed, the vibrations of his mouth making you even more closer to the edge. You gripped onto his arm tightly, your fingernails dragging along his muscles due to how much he was giving you.

You felt his fingers curl against you, hitting your g-spot and bringing you closer to your climax. It felt too good and you were craving to be ruined by him. Jungkook stared at the way you were shoving his hand amongst your tight little cunt, grinding on it as you try to reach your high and the squelching sounds it made.

Within seconds, you were close to your orgasm and you were trying to chase after it feverishly. His tongue and his fingers were too much for you, even though you received them last night. They made you feel so satisfied and full, always filling you up to the edge and the way he was hitting every spot nearly made you cream all over his fingers.

Unfortunately for you, he immediately pulled his fingers and mouth away, completely denying you of releasing. The hot feeling and intensity disappeared instantly and was replaced by the familiar throbbing as you let out a groan of disappointment. This was the second time you’ve lost your orgasm and you just wanted to release on him once more.

“Why did you stop? I was going to-” you growled, your face heating up due to the increased temperature inside.

“You’re not going to cum when I’m away. Is that a rule you can follow?” he said sharply, licking every remain of your juices off his face and wiping the excess with a tissue.

“W-why?” “Instead, I want you to send me a video touching yourself but not cumming until my match. Is that an order my little girl can do?”

You absolutely hated the fact that you won’t be releasing for a while but you didn’t want to get him mad. All you can do is just accept your fate and nod.

“There you go, don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel so good once I win,” he grinned, kissing you passionately. You could immediately taste yourself on his lips and felt his hardened member upon you. There were more things that the two of you would’ve done but he wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“Well then, I’ll be off. You’ll behave, right?” he parted cheerily, grabbing his bag and leaving the apartment like he didn’t just completely ate you out and denied your orgasm for the second time. As you heard the door lock, you’re left with your skirt drenched from your juices and the aching feeling between your legs.

Oh the things that Jungkook does to you. But what would happen if you gave him a little surprise during his boxing match. Surely, you weren’t that submissive and besides, it would be fun to tease him..

“You did great man!” Taehyung cheered, high-fiving Jungkook as soon as his match ended. He shared the same with a bunny-like smile and went inside the locker room to clean up to see you. Not only did he win but he’s going to be staying with you for a while now.

With a bright spirit, he unlocked his locker and opened his phone to a text message from you. There was an attachment with a seemingly innocent message but once he opened the video, it only fueled his desire.

[Y/N ♡]

- I miss you so much

Inside of the video was you fucking yourself with your fingers, high-pitched and incoherent whimpers coming out of you and from the looks of it, it was like you’re about to reach your climax.

Within the last few seconds, it cuts to you creaming all over the bed and licking your juices off of your fingers seductively with a cute wink at the end. All of that just to rile and tease him.

Shit, the things that this girl does to me, Jungkook sighs, feeling his member starting to grow inside of his pants again. They were simple instructions yet you can’t obey properly. Maybe it was due to you being a brat and wanting to be put in your place again.

Well, if there’s one thing that you and Jungkook know, is that you’ll certainly not walk the next day.

a/n: honestly, i’m not too proud of this but i hope you liked it regardless! let me know what you think and have a great day <3

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cherryyharryy · 3 years

Note

angst to fluff where y/n finds out she was originally just supposed to be a rebound type thing after he broke up with someone like idk something like he broke up with someone on the european leg of tour and she was supposed just be with him until he went on another leg but then he started to love her and brings her on the rest of tour with him and she finds out abt the rebound thing after the last show of tour where everyones drunk and celebrating and one person lets it slip

I tweaked it just a bit...hope that's ok:)

WC: 3.5K

****

“You look beautiful.”

I skim my nose across Harry’s cheek, his chin resting on my shoulder, and hum against stubble that wasn’t there this morning. “You’ve said that five times tonight.”

“And?” He slips around to face me.

His suit is a deep maroon, probably black if you’re far away, probably purple if you’ve had too much champagne. His chest expands when I slide my hand down.

“Love this dress.” He takes my hand off and pulls me closer, pressing a kiss to my head.

“You two forget where you’re at?” Another foreign voice surrounds us, well, foreign to me.

“Fucker,” Harry says to the man. They pat each other’s backs as the guy walks away. “Tyler Johnson.”

“Oh.”

“He worked with me on the last album.”

“Okay.”

It’s like the fifteenth person that I’ve been introduced to tonight, all of whom pass by with quick hellos, inside jokes with Harry, and little interest in me. The fast paced world of the rich and famous doesn’t slow down, even for charity.

“Harry, so glad you could make it.” Another voice, another man. This one lingers, long enough to receive my name, and offer a cliche compliment about my patience to put up with this beautiful bastard on my arm.

I thank him with the smile I’ve learned to speak through. These celebrities never stop smiling. Never stop posing. Never stop.

Then he’s gone too, and Harry’s whispering yet another name in my ear, of which I’ll forget seconds later because these people ultimately mean nothing to me. They all seem to pass through each other’s lives whenever convenience allows, playing house and acting like grown ups who get the privilege of not truly growing up.

I feel like the Gucci dress Harry had tailored to my body doesn’t fit. My posture sucks. I’m too scared to eat any of the finger foods being carried on silver platters through the hall. I haven’t learned how to smile through food I don’t like or not make a mess or take small enough bites. I swear, not one glass of champagne has any lipstick on it. They’re like magic.

I look at Harry. He’s stepped away to converse with a face that I do know. He and Jeff speak animatedly, Harry’s arms gesturing to whatever story he’s telling. I step over to one of the dressed tables and place what little weight I can onto the chair, needing to cling to something. When I look back up I smile, the two of them now laughing, and probably a little too loud for this charity auction.

“Y/n...right?”

I whip around, a man I’ve seen in pictures on Harry’s phone holds out his hand.

I straighten my back and accept his greeting. “Yes.”

“Finally we meet!” He catches my confusion and chuckles. “I produced Harry’s last album.”

Something clicks in my head, and he’s suddenly more familiar. “Oh! I knew that.”

Tom Hull...Kid Harpoon I process just as he introduces his name.

“I—”

An arm slipping around my waist stunts my question, Harry tipping back a red drink with his free hand while the other squeezes my hip. “Just tell this one to leave you alone,” he jabs.

Tom rolls his eyes, patting the breast of his green suit to look for something, only to show off his middle finger.

“Can’t believe the two of you haven’t met,” Harry says.

“I know, I guess we just missed each other.” Tom nods to me. “Heard you went to quite a few shows.”

“As many as I could.”

An uneasy sting travels down my spine. I did go to many shows, practically following Harry around his entire tour...all on his dime. Lord knows the man can afford it, but I still felt weird about him dishing out thousands of dollars to add me to each plane ride.

“Well I’m happy to see you two kids together,” Tom jokes, patting Harry on his back. “I’ve told him he needs to date women who will fuck him up. That’s where the songs are.”

He saunters off like he did not just say that. No. Absolutely not.

My face burns and it hurts to turn my head, but I still manage to narrow my eyes at Harry.

“Do you want another drink?”

I wait. I give him more than enough seconds to explain what the hell that was. But he’s clueless—ignorant.

“No. I do not.”

***

I do not bother taking my heels off in the car. My plan is to storm into our hotel room the second we park. Possibly locking Harry out...haven’t decided on that part yet.

The vague chit chat he makes with the driver stirs my nerves. It shouldn’t make me angry, and it’s not so much the act as it is his demeanor. He’s too cheery right now and it’s pissing me off.

“Okay,” he grabs my attention from Los Angeles flying past my window, the partition rolling up to leave us completely alone in the back seat. “What’s wrong?”

I bite my tongue, literally. “Nothing.”

“You seemed...irritated.”

“Did I?”

“Y/n.”

I turn to face him, inhaling sharply to calm my coming words. “Why are you with me?”

His face pales, and not a muscle moves. He just stares at me until he finally blinks and starts jerking his jaw around. “What are you talkin’ about?”

I roll my eyes. “The fact that you don’t know, bothers me even more.” I sigh, fighting back tears because I am determined not to cry in front of him. “Tom said that you should date people that fuck you up.”

“O—oh. That’s all?”

I squint, curling my lip. “What do you mean, that’s all? Is that not enough for you? Because that was a lot for me to hear tonight.”

“Baby, he was just messing around.”

I don’t budge.

“Really, it’s nothin’ to think about.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup my jaw. “Promise. It’s just like when people told you that you could do better than me, or insult me to compliment you.” He shrugs. “It’s just party talk.”

I process his words, supposing he’s not wrong. He did receive quite a few insults in lieu of my praise tonight. Maybe I was just on edge because of the setting; being surrounded by the rich and famous while I struggle to pay my rent each month isn’t exactly grounds for positive thinking.

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for.” He leans over to kiss me, stroking my face as his lips skim over mine. “Did I tell you how stunning you look tonight?”

***

It’s funny how your brain works. How emotions swoop in and corral your thoughts, like a salesman who pretends to care about you so they can get what they want. My mind was desperate for relief, from hearing Tom’s nervy comment, and I naively allowed Harry to take what he needed in that moment.

Something’s not quite right. I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it.

I’ve been mulling over Harry’s words in my head all weekend, playing them on repeat, hoping they’ll start to make sense, but if anything their value keeps dropping. What worries me the most, is that I don’t know whether he’s trying to protect me or himself. I don’t know if one is any better than the other.

It’s golden hour when we pull up to the beach. I can hear the music before I even open the car door; a volleyball shoots up over the rows of bushes hiding the party, disappearing and popping back up a moment later.

I don’t really want to be here, but I also don’t want to be the girlfriend who won’t support their boyfriend.

“Ready?” Harry asks, and I nod.

The closer we walk, the clearer the music becomes. Harry’s voice takes over the private beach, and I wonder if they’re playing his entire album or just Golden on repeat.

A good bit of the people drinking and chatting I recognize form the event the other night, but there are still plenty of new faces. I take some fruity drink that was offered to me and down half of it before my feet hit sand.

And so the routine continues. I’m introduced to someone, they compliment me, laugh with Harry, congratulate him on pretty much everything he’s ever done, and then repeat with a new face. I do manage to find Sarah at one point after I’ve detached myself from Harry, and the two of us head for the water.

“Are you feeling okay?” Sarah asks once our toes are wet.

I hold my breath and count to five, finishing whatever the hell I’m drinking before I can answer her. “I’m great.”

“Harry said you weren’t doing too well after the auction?”

“Yes, Harry does a lot of talking with people when I’m not around.”

“Alright, spill it,” Sarah says.

I trace the rim of my glass, flicking my eyes over my shoulder to make sure we’re far away from the party. “It’s stupid, really, I’m just a little...I don’t know...Tom said something the other night that rubbed me the wrong way. And Harry doesn’t seem to care.”

“What did he say?”

“Just something about how Harry needs to have relationships with people who will fuck him up.”

“Ooh,” she nods, seemingly well versed in the statement. “Yeah that’s an Iggy Pop quote. Tom mentioned it in Rolling Stone when he was interviewed.” She sips her drink, eyes growing small over the rim. “It was just a cheap line of advice he gave Harry after he was torn up after his last breakup.”

“Wait, so he actually did say that before? Like before the other night?”

Sarah drifts her eyes up in thought, nodding. “Um hm. After him and Camille broke things off.” She shrugs, and gestures to the party exploding on the beach behind us. “Fine Line.”

I have no idea what I’m feeling. No clue what is coursing through my veins, but it’s not blood anymore. The corners of my jaw tingle until my face starts going numb, my breathing shallow and chest tight.

“You okay?”

“I uh, I gotta go.”

Sarah calls after me but I let my name die in the breeze as I march back to the crowd. It’s nearly dark now, and finding Harry among all his people will take forever. I try to look for him, but I’m so distraught I can’t concentrate long enough to make out faces. I give up and head back to his car, only to find it’s locked. The asphalt is warm on my legs as I lower down to the ground, careless to the dirt I’m getting on my clothes and the scratches on my skin.

I’m not in this position for long. Not long enough, at least. Harry rounds the corner of the bushes, speeding up when he sees me.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

He moves to sit down beside me, but I jump up before he can.

“You’re a fucking liar.”

“Whoa! What!? What’s gotten into you lately?”

“I told you! What Tom said the other night!” I’m yelling, too loud for public, I know. But a small part of me wants someone to hear. I want to disrupt the bubble Harry lives in.

“And I told you that it was just nonsense.”

“And that’s why you’re a liar! Sarah just told me, that he said that to you after you and Camille broke up.”

“Okay...and?”

I inhale as deep as I can. It makes me dizzy, adds to my headache. “And, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? With the knowledge that the only reason you’re even with me, is because I’m gonna fuck you up so bad you’ll get songs out of it?

“Y/n,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “you’re taking this waaay too literally. Trust me.”

“You’re not in a position right now where I even want to trust you.”

“This has gotten completely out of control. I cannot believe you’re this upset over something so stupid.”

“Right there, Harry!” I point at him. “You keep dismissing how I feel! You don’t even care that this upsets me! That I feel like I need to reevaluate our entire relationship!”

“What is there to evaluate!? I haven’t even done anything! You’re blowing up about something that someone else said!”

“But you listened to him!”

“What,” he shrugs, “what do you want?”

“I don’t know what I want, Harry. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?” He pauses, swallowing. “Us?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, us. I can’t be with you if—if you’re just waiting around for me to ruin you emotionally.”

“You’re seriously gonna let someone else’s words do this to us? You’d break up with me because of something another person said?”

“Harry, if I break up with you it’s gonna be because of what you’ve done. I don’t care that he said it, I care that you agree to it. And quite frankly, it’s pretty insulting to Camille. You spent a part of your life with that girl, and you just capitalize off of it. I’m not gonna let you do that to me.”

“I’m not capitalizing off of anyone! What the hell am I supposed to write my songs about? I’m just supposed to not date then?”

“It’s the fact that you sought out a relationship in order to fuel your writing.”

“No, y/n, that’s not what I did.” He narrows his eyes at me, and even in the dark I can see his anger. “I sought you out because I was devastated after me and her broke up. You were only supposed to be a rebound.”

I feel like the wind’s been knocked out of me. The music overhead blurs into noise scraping my eardrum, my vision grows weak and foggy. He wanted to hurt me, and he did.

“I expect a thank you when you release your next album.” I spin on my heel and head towards the main road, yanking my phone from my pocket to call an uber. For the second time tonight, my name trails behind me in the wind. I can hear Harry’s steps pick up, and as fast as I walk, he still catches me.

“Y/n, please, let’s go back to the hotel. You can hate me and not talk to me, but please don’t leave.”

I ignore him, trying to set up my ride. “Where the hell are we?”

He glances at my phone, and I can tell he considers keeping the answer to himself, so he can keep me to himself. He drops his voice, much weaker than before. “Carbon Beach. Canyon road.”

Ten minutes.

“Y/n—”

“I am not interested in discussing this with you.”

“I’m so sorry. I—I was mad and was just trying to win the argument. Whichever way I could.”

“Congratulations on your win.”

“Y/n, please, honey. I don’t want to lose you.” He drags his hands down his face, keeping his palms dug into his eyes. When he lets them drop, there are tears spilling down his cheeks. “I can’t lie and say you weren’t, but yes you were a rebound for me, but that went away. Literally weeks after we started dating. I care about you so much. I wouldn’t drag you to every show and event I have if I didn’t. I’m so proud to call you mine. The last thing you are to me is—is just grounds for my writing.”

I stare out across the road. A jeep speeds by and the gush of wind it brings sends chills down my arms.

“Harry, I just...it’s a lot. You’re a lot. Your life is a lot.” I sigh and slowly turn to face him. “It feels like the significance of us being in each other’s lives are so different.”

He kicks a rock across the road, dust flying up around us. “Fuck. Y/n I’m begging—”

“They’re here.” I nod to the headlights approaching us.

“Baby, please.”

“I think I need to be alone right now.” I get in the backseat. “Enjoy your party.”

***

I text him when I’m back at the hotel, having nowhere else to go. I didn’t think my plan of leaving through, because he’ll come back here before the night’s over. But I’m hoping he’ll stay away for a bit, long enough for me to process everything at least.

Deep down I know there’s not as much to the comment as I thought. And Harry’s not that type of guy. But the lack of concern over my feelings...the fact that I was just used as a warm body while he got over Camille...that’s what hurts the most.

There’s a fine line between being sorry because you’ve been called out, and truly being sorry. How sorry can he be when he got what he wanted? Even if I’m not what he envisioned past a few quick fucks, he still comes out on top happy.

I feel like the lifestyle these people live is embedded with secret codes, all of which I’m not wired to pick up on. The money, the mistakes, the adoration... Everything is a lot, and playing catch up is nearly impossible.

I don’t get the alone time I’d wished for. There are curses and clicks of the doorknob right before Harry comes in. He stands at the entrance, staring at me on the lounge chair like he’s unsure if I’m real.

“Wasn’t sure you’d come back here.”

“Where else can I go?” I nod to his phone in his hand. “I texted you.”

“I was driving.”

I sigh, flinching when he turns the lights on. “I know you wanna talk, but I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to,” he says, dropping his keys on a table to come sit beside me. “I’ll talk though.” He inhales, holding his breath for a second before forcing the air out. “I know that me saying I’m sorry means shit to you right now. And to be honest, it probably is coming from me...in a way. You’re right about everything. And whatever you’re feeling, once you figure that out, you’re valid about that too.”

“How would you feel if you were only meant to be temporary in my life? You never mentioned why you were interested in me in the beginning. And no, I never would have gone out with you had I known. I would never want to be someone’s rebound. There’s just something sneaky about that.”

His head drops into his hands, and his shoulders shake right before I hear him cry. “I know, I—I get so caught up in myself sometimes. I’m such a fucking prick.” When he looks up, his eyes are burnt red, glassy and defeated. “I don’t deserve you, and I really don’t deserve anyone.”

“Harry,” I chastise, not expecting the downward spiral he’s ventured onto.

“I swear I care about you. I want you to be happy, and I want to make you happy. I don’t want to be the one to treat you this way. Ever.”

I inhale as deep as I can, holding my breath until it hurts. “I know.” I take his hand in mine. “And I know your heart, and I know you care about me. I—” I sigh, “I’m not comfortable with...just forgetting all of this though. I can forgive you, but I think we need to take a couple steps back. I’ve gotten so swept up in your life and your world, I’m losing my own.”

He nods slowly, accepting my words with a pained face.

“I care about you too.”

He looks up for the first time, catching the last few tears with the back of his hand. “I know you do.”

I offer a small smile and lean in to kiss his cheek. His eyes fall closed, and blindly he turns to press his lips to mine. Our kiss is salty and urgent.

“What did you say to everyone when you left?”

He frowns in thought, like the memory is too far away. “Nothing. Jumped in my car and prayed this is where you’d be.”

I take his hand and pull us both to our feet. “We should go to bed. It’s been a long night. Too long.”

We’re quiet and slow as we shed our clothes and brush our teeth, slipping into bed around two a.m.. Harry doesn’t waste a second in pulling me into his warm chest, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug that has me burying my face into his neck.

We lay there, silent, but when I know I don’t have much longer before sleep overcomes me, I kiss his shoulder, whispering how much I love him before I close my eyes.

#ehhhhh #idk #i think i'm ok with writing angst #but struggle with turning it into fluff #i tried tho #requests #requested #harry styles #harry styles writing #cherryyharryy #cherryyharryy writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst to fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles ou

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writingtoforgetreality · 3 years

Text

Help You - Little Movie Star Chapter Six (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: Your auditions were coming up. You would lie if you said you were not nervous but you remembered your lines. So nothing could go wrong. Maybe something would. But that something was not associated with the auditions.

Words: 2,003

Warnings: nervousness, little fangirl moment, anxiety, dark thoughts, panic attack, a lil sass, fluff, love for Jared <3, (Y/A) = your age

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

“You know your lines?” Jensen asked for the thirtieth time today. Honestly, if you did not know better, you would say he was more nervous than you.

“I do, Jensen.” you did not ask him to stop questioning you. All you did was sending him a smile. Seating yourself in front of your laptop, (Jensen gave you his old one so you could write) you breathed slowly & controlled. Yes, you were nervous but you had a good feeling. Jensen & Danneel, both wanting to support you, each took seats right behind the laptop, only for you to see.

The first audition went by smoothly. You remembered all of your lines & implemented what was asked of you. Once you started, your nervousness faded away & you were delivering the lines confidently. At the end, they told you they would let you know as soon as they discussed everything with the rest of the crew.

“I’m proud of you, (Y/N).” Jensen stated after you ended the video call. Nobody had ever told you that. It meant a lot to you & he could tell by the way you reacted. Now, the waiting began. Jared had asked you to text him once you were done & you did. Letting him know that everything went fine.

You were more anxious for the Marvel audition. Unsure why, your heart was racing & your hands were trembling. It was not any different than the first one. Well, except for the fact that THE Russo Brothers were the ones doing the audition. You had been a fan of their work for years & wanted to deliver perfectly. Also, being part of the next Avengers movie? Surreal. You remembered it so clearly, when you watched your first Marvel movie in theaters. It was now or never. Again, Jensen & Danneel stood close by, hoping it would calm you down just the slightest.

Throughout your audition, you forgot your lines once or twice but covered it immediately by improvising a scene that you found fitting. It was weird. Sitting in front of a laptop, acting out a scene you were rehearsing before. You imagined working on film sets with other people to be easier. Here, you could only focus on the screen in front of you & Joe & Anthony Russo were not exactly people you wanted to focus on. Hell, you were acting like a crazy little fangirl.

“So, (Y/N).” Anthony started. “We actually have a few more auditions for this role coming up.” in the corner of your eye, you saw Jensen picking up his phone & walking out of the room. Huh, weird…

“I really don’t think we need to see more, though.” Joe continued.

“What we’re trying to say is that, if you want to, you got the role.” Anthony finished, smiling brightly. What did he just say?

“Really?” you could not believe it. They wanted you! YOU! Someone who had never acted before. The Russo’s simply nodded at you & told you that every piece of information would be sent to you in the following days. Somehow, you managed to end the video call professionally but not before thanking them again & again. They said you were a natural & a perfect addition to their new movie. And you were just loving everything at the moment.

Running over to Danneel, you hugged her tightly. She congratulated you, telling you that this was what you deserved. When you wanted to ask where Jensen was, he reentered the room, a big smile plastered on his face.

“I got the role!”

“You got the role!” the two of you said at the same time.

“What? I thought you were on the phone, how do you know?” how could he know about you getting the role if he was not even there?

“You’re talking about the Marvel one?” his eyes grew wide. You nodded & he pulled you into a hug.

“Today’s your lucky day, angel.” Jensen picked up that nickname from Danneel & you sure as hell were not complaining. “Just got off the phone with our producer. Welcome to the Supernatural Family.” it took you a moment to process what he said.

“Wait…Does that mean-?” Jensen nodded. “Oh my god! This is crazy…” you were pacing now. This being the only thing you could do at the moment.

“Congrats, (Y/N)! We need to celebrate!” he immediately called Jared to tell him the great news.

A celebration party was set up for this evening. Everyone was coming. The Padalecki’s, this time with Tom & Shep (& baby number three that was already growing inside Gen’s belly). Jensen’s parents were invited as well which meant that you would meet them for the first time. You were not a fan of parties, especially when the attention was on you, but Jensen & Danneel were so excited while planning everything, you did not want to ruin it by admitting that you actually disliked events like this. Being the center of a crowd made you uneasy but you just got two acting roles, you could play pretend for a few hours, right?

The party was not as bad as you first expected it to be. Meeting your grandparents for the first time was nice, they welcomed you warmly & told you that they were glad they could finally meet you in person. Everyone here knew about your upcoming roles but you were asked to keep it secret for the time being. People would find out soon enough anyway. This celebration tonight was more than you had ever had. Not even once had you had a birthday party or something similar. You were not used to these kinds of things. Apparently, you should get used to them since such parties occurred more often with these people. Though you had to admit that it would be a challenge for you. You liked each & every one of these people here but still, there were these tiny voices in your head that just would not shut up. Telling you that you did not deserve to have them in your life, that you were not good enough to be an actor, that they were better off without you. Shaking your head to rid yourself of these awful thoughts, you could feel your breathing becoming irregular. Shit, please not now. Not in front of everyone. You had to get out of here, you could not have a full blown panic attack when you were supposed to celebrate & have fun. Looking around the room, you saw that the kids were playing & the others were caught up in a conversation. If you were to make an exit, now would be the time. Without a second thought, you got up & hurried out of the room, heading for the safety of your own bedroom.

Shutting the door behind you, you did not even make it to your bed. You fell down to your knees & crawled the remaining distance to your bed where you sat with your back pressed to it. Your breakdown was stupid, you knew that. You got two acting roles, something you had dreamed about ever since you were little. You had a family where, for the first time, you felt like you actually belonged. Hell, there were people here to celebrate you. But the past always seemed to catch up with you, no matter how hard you tried to move on. You could not breathe. Why could you not breathe? If you did not get yourself together, you might actually pass out. Shit, you could not do this alone. But you also did not have the strength to get up. Your phone was left at the party because you forgot it in your state of panic. Trying to yell for someone to help you, you found that your voice had left you.

Experiencing panic attacks like this was everything but fun. Like you were the main character in a horror movie & you made all the stupid mistakes the audience usually joked about. There was no way to escape. You did not hear the knock on your door, neither did you feel when a presence sat down right next to you. But still, nobody was touching you. And you were grateful for that because who knew how you would have reacted to anyone touching you.

“You gotta breathe for me, (Y/N). In & out, in & out. Try to match my breathing.” was the first thing you heard after minutes. You knew the voice but could not tell who it belonged to. Not that it mattered in the moment. Having someone to tell you how to breathe was all you needed.

“There you go, you’re doing great.” the voice encouraged you. Your breathing slowly returned to normal & you were exhausted like crazy. Looking to your right, you found Jared sitting next to you, smiling slightly. Shit, you just embarrassed yourself in front of him.

“You okay?” he asked, still concerned about you.

“I’m sorry.” your voice was hoarse & it felt like almost every ounce of strength had left your body because of this panic attack.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” he assured you. “I could tell you didn’t hear me right away & I wasn’t sure if you were okay with me touching you so I tried my best to get your breathing back to normal.” you were unsure how to answer him. You knew he struggled with his own mental health. Maybe he thought you were faking this. At least other people always believed you wanted attention whenever you went through an episode like that. It was the exact opposite, if you were completely honest.

Silence filled the room once again. Jared was not done with talking, though.

“Do Jensen & Dee know?” you scoffed at that. If they knew they probably would have never set up this party in the first place.

“I guess that’s a no then.” he answered his question himself. “How long have you had these?” maybe it was the fact that you were too tired, but you found yourself opening up to Jared.

“Ever since I can remember.” admitting something like that was not easy but it was the truth.

“You should tell them.”

“So they have another reason to send me back?” Jared widened his eyes at your statement. Were you really thinking that?

“They would never, & I really mean NEVER, send you back, (Y/N). They care for you a lot & they’d be more than open to help you with this. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I’ve been dealing with this for (Y/A) years on my own & I’m doing just fine.” the moment you said it, you heard that you were way too harsh with him. That was not your intention. “Sorry, Jared. I didn’t mean it like that.” looking down to avoid his stare, you waited for him to get up & walk out of your room. He did not, though. No. But his next question caught you off guard.

“You want a hug?” that was all you needed at the moment. A slight nod of your head made Jared pull you closer to his body. His embrace felt like a safe haven & you were happy that he was the one who followed you upstairs. Jared let you hug him for as long as you needed. Right now, you were all that mattered. And if you did not want to tell Jensen or Danneel, he would. They were his best friends & if he knew you were struggling, it was his job to let them know as well.

“We’ll get through this together, I promise.” pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, he could feel you tightening your grip on him. For once, you wanted to trust another person’s promise. For once, you needed another person to keep their promise. You were not sure if you could keep going otherwise.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/24/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624, @imaginationisgrowth, @stoneyggirl, @alyispunk, @thevelvetseries, @multifandomlover121, @samsgirl93, @supernatural3002, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector, @vir-tual, @bellero, @sergantbuckybarnes, @namelesslosers (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

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its-chelisey-stuff · 3 years

Text

I watched “Imitation” and it was surprising (... okay, I loved it!)

Full disclosure: If you haven’t the slightest interest in kpop, not even in the drama or juicy gossip that produces, this won’t be your thing. I know it’s not a drama for everyone. Stop reading. Just know that OTP (and most characters) had a happy ending but there was a bunch of drama to achieve it. Typical. And a death may or may not have been in the mix.

Well well well... I'm pleasantly surprised, that's the perfect three word review for this drama. It would seem that when those little projects that come out of nowhere and you have no expectations about, turn out to be even a little big good, they made the strongest impression. And this drama is up there in my top 3 of favorite dramas of the year, it has my heart.

Yes, it was about kpop idols and 90% of the cast was made of idols (even one from the very first kpop gen hahaha), yet the acting was decent (and from some, truly great), yes sometimes it got a bit cheesy and silly and yes, there was a ton of drama concerning fans, reporters, dating scandals and bad and greedy CEOs of entertainment agencies BUT it was also sweet, really romantic, funny, lively, full of music (I'm OBSESSED with the last OST which was sung by the whole cast, it makes me FEEL things) and dancing, it had lots friendship and found family AND at times, it was heartbreakingly tragic.

I think this drama tried to tell the audience two important lessons, worthy of mention: the first, work hard for your dreams, don't give up on them but also, you never know what opportunities might come your way that could end up changing your direction and perhaps make you chase something that you never thought you would, so persevere, breathe and hang in there just a bit more; the second, one that we all know if you have a little bit of sense and even if you are mildly informed about the k entertainment which is that idols are just people(most of them teens when they debut some not even 18) who want to and deserve to have a pretty f-ing normal life, so f-ing let them! the consequences of putting these youngsters over a pedestal are catastrophic and there are real life, heartbreaking, examples of this.

Main characters

Ryok: the Golden Boy of kpop, from the most popular boy group, also a an actor (a decent one? Idk they never said). Perfect in every single aspect, except when he is nice to girls who aren't his fans, then they will crucify him. SUPER clumsy whenever his crush is nearby and does something he finds cute, otherwise super cool and chill. Also great at pining for his crush. A romantic, which means he chose the worst career path. My favorite character.

Maha: A bright and optimistic girl with a strong might of perseverance in going after her dreams. Loves dancing. Very sweet and very tiny. Despite appearances, she's not a pushover or weak FL. And that's why I loved her.

Yujin: Second ML by the book. Became an idol because he was pursuing FL (who in turn was pursuing ML). The only reason why I never hated him is because he was a great friend, knew he wasn't doing anything healthy and decided to end his one sided love and opened his eyes. Two words: Character development *chef's kiss*

LaRiMa: A soloist. A Queen. At the start, it looked like she was the typical and mean second FL. But she wasn't, and I adored her for that. She had a heart of gold. She deserved the world, and she knew that so she made decisions accordingly (a Queen chases no one, least of all a man!) lol best character in the drama and my second favorite character (sorry Maha!)

Also starring: The members of SHAX (the leader, SF9′s Hwiyoung, the maknae from Ateez and the funny guy who spoke random english) the group of Golden Boy. Tea Party members (bffs with FL, Riah and HyunJi), Maha’s group. Sparkling members (the very angry and frustrated leader and two members of Ateez whose names I don’t know), second ML group. AND in the longest and most important cameo (ala Go Kyung Pyo in My roommate is a Gumiho) SF9′s Chani, a former member of SHAX, who disappeared into thin air one day.

The story

On paper it doesn't sound like anything groundbreaking (and tbh it really wasn't lol): a story about idols who willingly chose their career path, trained for years while underage, got treated like products by ugly men in suits and realized it kinda sucked, especially when you don't become a hit group and have to protect your personal life like it's a dirty secret that could damage your image and maybe end your career this is why I said it’s not a show for everyone. But this drama is what Dream High 2 (2012) wanted to be and never could in the aspect of actually making you feel something for these idols and the situations they were facing while loving the musical side of the show and making it all believable.

Even if it's not exactly about teens in high school sort of thing, it does give you the same hopeful and uplifting feeling of a coming of age story, especially because the characters are still youngsters trying to be happy and realize their dreams for the future.

You can just stop reading here if you want to go watch the drama with no spoilers. And if I haven’t convinced you despite not being appalled by kpop themed dramas, then I guess you should keep reading lol or trust in my taste and judgement when I say the story is worth it (but to be fair the first two eps are a bit slow).

The romance (super spoilery!)

At the core, this show was a love story. What started the plot is the fact that main couple reunite in the same work field as idols, and they actually met and befriended each other years ago; so being older and able to spent more time together brings them closer to finally accept and give into their feelings, but soon enough their relationship becomes a ticking bomb threatening their careers and then this big mystery of how and why SF9' Chani disappeared and abandoned the group becomes really important in the last third of the drama

Because once upon a time, Chani had a gf but she was still a trainee so once their love was exposed (the truth of who exposed him is devastating) and their respective companies threatened them, it all becomes too much too fast and with seemingly no other way out, the girl makes a terrible decision, that ends up changing the lives of most of the characters.

I’m sure this is from a bts but their chemistry was really good and sweet. Also, height difference to die for!!

Yet, there is a happy ending for main couple but it's only achieved after certain people learn from their mistakes and support Ryok and Maha, which makes it clear that no matter how in love and willing you are to face adversities for and with your loved one, you still need a support system (and maybe the right people in a position of power) because sometimes two against the world isn't as romantic as it sounds, but sad and lonely.

And the main reason why I loved this is because of the way the show drew a parallel between the two most important couples in the story and tells the audience “had it been even a year before, under different circumstances and less luck, had they had no friends and no people to support them, main couple would’ve ended in the same tragic way” and I think that is a haunting realization. That also makes you appreciate things.

*cries* they were adorable

The bad (spoilers!)

I do wish this drama would’ve elaborated on some bits that were really worth diving into, or that it would’ve shown how some things came intro fruition instead of just skipping it and showing rigth away the outcome of conversations that were never had or reunions never shown. It is clear to me that they wanted to make the drama longer and could have told a better story had it been a 16 ep show.

Basically yes, the main story, main romance and side couples' arcs got resolved but ugh a list of plot holes:

Why was LaRiMa so obsessed with Ryok for half the drama? The minute the girl knew he was dating someone he truly liked, she gave up right away, so I gotta believe the only reason she didn’t quit on him before, is because he did gave her a reason to hold onto him. Perphaps they dated before? Or maybe they like each other at one point? I can only do fanfiction in my head to explain this.

Why was the angry leader of Sparkling such a bitter bitch? How did he end up in another company?

I wanted to see SF9′s Chani reunion with his ex-members from SHAX. It NEEDED to happen. At least they showed Chani with Ryok (which was really emotional) but arrgh.

Also, Chani deserved a kneeling apology from SHAX leader, I mean, come on!!

If everyone knew about Maha and Ryeok at some point, they needed to use that. You can’t just have a bomb like that in your drama and not use it. Is a principle of storytelling. You can’t just have the thing that your main characters fear the most, in your hands, and do nothing about it. But I guess it was not done because of lack of time.

Also, they never showed how they announced their relationship. Instagram post? Company statement? An exclusive to Dispatch? And how did the fans took it?? Answers, drama! Damn it!!

Final thoughts

Despite its many flaws, I loved it. It had heart. It seemed low budget and even more so due to the fact that it was done in the middle of the pandemic and a big part of kpop are the fans and concerts, you know what makes it all the more big and shinier. But the drama people and the actors put effort into it, and you could tell (and the fact that there were also original songs and choreographies made for this drama amazes me, and that they chose to promote the drama by having some of these fake groups perform on actual music shows). So there you go, I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Before I finish, let me just say that the actor who played Ryok is a REVELATION in my eyes.This boy needs to stay in dramaland and get more main roles (and after some research I’m happy to say that he is thriving!!). Also, he has great timing for comedy. The actress who played Maha elevated the quality of every scene she was in. (Not for nothing she was God in DAYS). Jiyeon (LaRiMa) was excellent. It really showed at times that she’s not only an experienced idol but also an experienced actress. The contrast with most of the cast was noticeable, sadly. The drama wouldn’t have been the same without these three.

Also, watch AND listen to the last OST sung by the whole cast here. Beautiful song that just makes you cry if you’ve seen the drama.

#imitation #lee jun young #jung jiso #jiyeon #jeong yunho #kbs imitation #kdrama #kdrama review #i wanted to tag all actors but omg that's a nightmare #they're too many

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nurseofren · 4 years

Text

Office Hours

Relationship: Charlie Barber x Student!Reader

Words: 3.3k

Summary: You decided to challenge Professor Barber’s new project in front of the entire class and he’s asked you to stay after class. What could go wrong, right?

Tags: Belting, spanking, bondage, naked female/clothed male, professor kink, left it open if the people want more.

ST Rambles: So uh, here’s this. I started it last week with the plot being completely different but knowing I wanted to dabble with impact play. I’m also thoroughly obsessed with the idea of fucking a professor, so it being Charlie is just. A dream, honestly. Enjoy this smutty smut. Tell me if you want more.

You’d never been asked to stay after class, your record completely clear and your GPA way too impressive to ever land you in any sort of hot water. But, as you sat in the overstuffed Chesterfield armchair, fingers toying with the swirl detail on its front, you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming dread for what was about to happen.

Charlie Barber wasn’t necessarily intimidating, no, but you’d never been alone with him. And just during debrief you’d challenged the themes he presented on his latest project. His project. You know? The project he knows everything about? The one you have no business questioning because you have no part in its development? Yeah, that one. That was the only thing this impromptu meeting could be about.

Professor Barber had instructed you to wait for him, telling you he’d only be a moment as he dealt with the other students who stayed back willingly. Lifting a hand from the armrest you noticed the fine tremors, your heart pounding as you listened to the muffled voices just beyond the door. Another student was talking about their own project and how inspired they were during lecture. Why couldn’t I have praised him like that? you thought. Why did I make the choice of reprimanding his own work?

Charlie sent the students off with a bellowing laugh, informing them about the drafts due next week. His voice, so low and so stern, carried closer to the door, his footsteps steady as they led him nearer. There was no knock, but when the knob jangled at his grip you stopped breathing for a moment. There wasn’t a muscle left untensed as he closed the door, staying out of view for a moment while he settled his belongings on a credenza of sorts.

“I appreciate your patience.” Professor Barber’s voice was distracted, his long legs bringing him into view as he tugged off his suit jacket and folded it over the back of his chair. He didn’t sit immediately, though. A moment was spent first observing you, eyes flicking over your face, and the next he started on the cuffs of his shirt.

The silence he was allowing was palpable, catching in your throat and inspiring sweat at the backs of your thighs. “Oh, yeah. Yeah! Of course, mister – um, Professor Barber.”

He rolled the first sleeve up to his elbow and began on the second. “No need for overexuberance,” he finished the statement with your first name. Warmth flared in your face; you weren’t aware he knew your name, let alone your first.

“Oh, no. I didn’t mean to offend. I really just didn’t mind the wait. You didn’t take long at all. It’s fine, really.”

“You were waiting for twenty minutes.”

Professor Barber looked down at you with a hitched brow, a mocking challenge heavy in his features. He finally took a seat, your top teeth catching your lower lip for a second. He sat so his forearms were flat on his desk, fingers together and knuckles white.

“I mean. Yes. It was twenty minutes. But I… This is my last class of the week, so it’s alright, really.”

“Have any plans for the weekend?”

“Oh. Um… I guess not. Just studying. Like always, you know.” He let your mouth run and the quiet eat away at you once again. He only stared, nose twitching when your hands tightened over the armrests. “But, um, what is… what is this… Earlier in class when I-,”

“I asked your plans, not for an apology.” There was a tinge of urgency in the way he spat the words, his mouth a hard line as the room settled around them.

Averting your eyes, you now focused on a stitch fraying past the hem of your skirt. You swallowed, throat too dry for any good to come of it. “I’m sorry, I just feel the need to make it clear that I didn’t mean to-,”

“Let me make something clear,” he said, his clothes sounding while his left hand toyed with the tie around his neck, loosening it you assumed. “The next time you want to mouth off and talk down to me – the one producing this project—” his pause brought your eyes back to his, which he used to flay your nerves “—don’t.”

A bead of sweat slid from your neck to your tailbone, shivers making your lungs shudder. It was difficult to stay in place on the leather, thighs slipping while fear slicked them with sweat.

You swallowed, uncertain what he wanted if not an apology. “Professor, what can I do to settle this before any more parties have to get involved?”

A hum – no, a growl – left parted lips, his back coming up from the chair before he stood completely. He was looking down at you again, fingers tracing the edge of his desk before a palm spread flat over the surface’s center. His opposite hand lifted, sleeve sliding back down to his elbow when he bent it, two fingers crooking towards him.

“Come here.”

Pupils crowded his already dark irises, shadows pouring from his brow and down over his cheekbones. The sight of him, predatory and commanding, skipped your heart. Hitched your breath. Heated your ears.

“What do you mean? Like, bring you…something? I don’t, I don’t know what you want me to do.” You had a small inkling as to what he wanted, though you rejected the thought, marking it preposterous as soon as it formed.

Professor Barber’s shoulders tided once, high and harsh, another low growl rumbling through grit teeth. “Come. Here—” the hand over the desk flexed into a blood-starved fist “—Now.”

“Are you asking me to…t-to bend over your desk?” You whispered the second half, nails biting crescents into the thick leather.

“No,” he said. “I’m telling you.”

A spark lit between your legs, lips parting with a pant when you accidentally pressed your thighs together. Charlie’s gaze raced toward your accidental action, his throat bobbing before he stepped back from the desk and shook his tie looser.

“I think you’re playing a bit too innocent.” Without looking away, his hands undid the buckle of his belt, his jaw flexing while he observed you from his distance. “This is how you settle this, little girl.”

A whimper left you, more accidental insight into what he was making you feel. You considered it for a moment, thinking about the repercussions should anyone find out, regarding the consequences should you fail this class. Mostly, though, you found yourself giving into the way you were completely throbbing for him, how your heart was in your ears and your breath was hot against your agape mouth.

Standing, dropping your eyes to watch your feet carry you toward him, you stopped once the tips of his shoes lined up with yours. A hand trailed up the buttons of your shirt, fingertips catching on each before long fingers gripped the entirety of your throat. There was no constriction, only encouragement to look at him when they tugged up.

He was looking over your features, finding your fear and feeling your pulse beneath his grip. The tip of his tongue glinted behind his teeth before his eyes settled on yours, your breath stopping immediately.

“Take my belt off.” It was a breathy drawl, heat rolling off of him both in body and breath.

Not looking down, not that you could, you trailed the tips of your fingers along his torso before you caught the smooth leather, you right hand grasping the buckle and leading it to freedom until it dropped to hang limp in your hold. A light squeeze around your throat made your heart race, a whine leaving before he lifted the pressure.

Before you could realize, he spun you so your back was to his chest, his belt hitting the floor with a sharp thwack. The professor’s hands worked in urgency to undo your shirt, sliding up your abdomen when it was completely undone; warmth pooled in your belly, his heated palms exploring over your bra until they wandered to your back. Quick thumbs unhooked the garment, leading the shirt off your shoulders and past your wrists before guiding your bra in the same path.

“Did you lock the door? What if someone comes in?” You trembled against him when his head hooked into your shoulder, nose brushing against your lobe.

A low grumble stifled your neck. “Did I say you could speak?” Charlie bucked his hips into your ass, his erection obvious even through clothing. The force of his thrust stumbled your forward, aiding him when he flattened his hand between your shoulders and pushed your front onto the desk.

The frozen wood lit your bare skin with shock, the contrast sticking your lungs and igniting goosebumps to envelope the entirety of your body. He kept his hand steady in its pressure for a moment, considering how obedient you’d be before he lifted it.

A thwip sounded behind you. “Wrists together.”

“Professor, what-,” a yelp replaced your inquiry, a stark hand meeting your ass over the fabric of your skirt.

“Wrists.”

Pain stung in fine pinpricks over the flesh he’d acquainted his hand with, your arms straining to meet at the base of your spine. The rough threading of his tie found its way knotted over your skin, your hands locked in place even when he left them. Completely at his will now, he led a large hand up your back.

“Mm, being a good slut now, are we?” Another hand slipped under your skirt and flipped it over your bound hands. The professor smoothed over the earlier affected skin, feeling the warmth his exertion had inspired.

That same hand led down your leg, a rush of air telling you he’d knelt behind you. Metal scraped against the floor before you were distracted by the feel of his lips pressing behind your knee. A hand followed the lead of his face, nose trailing up your thigh and eventually pressing into the apex of your thighs. The accompanying hand went further, cupping your ass so his thumb could dip into your slit. Your hips bucked into him, mouth falling open with a curse.

The professor swirled his thumb in your slick, the noise lewd yet heady in the otherwise silent room. He paused to press his lips to you, kissing into the flesh before biting at it. Another curse from you, this time trailing with a whimper. A chuckle stuttered into your leg, his thumb pressing into your entrance. A choked moan fogged the desk beneath you; he felt good. And it was his thumb for fuck’s sake.

“You’re tight,” he pushed his thumb deeper, pressing it into your walls and rocking it back and forth, your eyes rolling back while your fingers tightened into fists. He turned his hand so his fingers could reach down to your clit; your foot kicked forward, wrists straining for freedom as his touch lit your nerves. “And so, so reactive.” Professor Barber pushed into you once more and pulled away completely.

The hollowness he left made you ache for more, but a foreign texture leading up the inside of your leg distracted you from this need. It was cool, not the heat of his hands, and smooth in how it glided with ease over your skin. He stood completely, the mystery object stopping at your apex for a moment, pushing into your folds, and then cracking against your slit with a lightning-fast flick.

“Fuck!” Your hips bucked away from it, shaking the contents of the desk just enough for a pencil to rattle free from the edge.

His hand gripped over the cross-section of your restraint, pulling back so your shoulder blades grew closer. “Tell me how that felt.” His words were dripping with breath, twisted with a latent need.

Having taken a moment to absorb the sensation, you couldn’t deny the way your cunt was throbbing for it, begging for more of whatever it was. You swallowed, sucking your teeth and closing your eyes. He didn’t deserve an answer, but you didn’t want him to stop.

“Good.”

More friction from the object, a loop of sorts catching your clit and rubbing it just right, a whine pushing through locked teeth before he stopped his machinations. “I want to teach you a lesson, understood?”

Words were unnecessary, a nod of your head against the sweat-slick desk conveying your answer just fine. He shuttered at your permission, a grunt sticking low in his chest when his hand left you. Metal jangled and you were quick to realize exactly the kind of lesson you were to receive. Realization flooded your skin with heat, your breath coming fast when panic set in.

“Professor Barber, there’s no need,” you worried out. “I really understand, I don’t-,”

The speed of the belt whistled against the air before you felt its force meet your left cheek, your weight shifting up to your toes when your body couldn’t escape its punishing bite. A thread of agony grated against your throat, but as the pain set in and it nestled into your muscles you couldn’t help but want more. It wasn’t agony that had come from your lips, but brutalized pleasure, so refined and concentrated it overwhelmed you with want.

“Understand all you want—” a second hit, this to your opposite cheek, lit a fire in your chest, slick wetting your inner thighs when you clenched “—that little stunt earlier isn’t going unpunished.”

Your chin started to tremble, teeth chattering as every nerve ending split open with pain-laced pleasure. Drool pooled at the side of your face, mingling with the sweat that fell willfully from your neck. He’d stopped, a new sound coming from behind when the smooth band came to brush over the raging skin; the touch was gentle, even so making you wince as the belt’s edge caught on the edges of your new raised marks.

“This is what I want from you,” that earlier sound came now with a heavy sigh, a breath of satisfaction. “Compliance. Submission. Understanding.” It was a wet, repetitious noise, a pattern of first quick patterns, but they would slow every now and then; when they did, it was always combined with the sound of hitching breath or an urgent exhale.

The time he was taking was driving you crazy, knowing he was watching your injuries come to fruition while he was stroking himself at the sight. “This is torture, you know?” It was a growl more so than a whine.

A third strike came perpendicular to the first, an “X” undoubtedly welting on the surface. Your teeth grit together, spit spraying across the finish before your nostrils flared fog beneath it. A heat sank over your entire back, warm breath and heated lips falling over your ear.

“Punishment, little girl. Not torture.” He pressed his lips to your neck. “Not yet.” That sound slowed again, a growl vibrating from his chest into yours. “Not here.”

The cold returned when he fixed his posture. Not completely, though; a hand flattened itself over your midback, a scalding, heavy pressure meeting your entrance. It made your moan, just the thought of his inside you, feeling how big he was when remembering the fullness only his thumb had incited. Professor Barber pressed his hand down with each nudge of his hips, inching into you with every lung-stalling, thick, throbbing inch of his cock.

“Oh, Professor,” you whined, eyes rolling back at the feeling of being filled by him. You swore you could feel him in your throat the more he pushed in. When you thought there was no more, he kept inching in, his own breath catching when he growled as he neared bottoming out.

“Fucking tight. I knew you would be. And so wet.” His hand inched up once he buried himself completely in your pussy, fingers coiling around a swirl of your hair. “A little masochist, hm? Like the pain, little girl?”

“If I say yes will you hurry up?”

A quick, deep laugh prefaced the heavy hand that smacked over your left cheek, pussy clenching onto his cock and making you see white for a second. Barber coughed, hair-wrapped hand pulling back and straining your neck toward him.

“That mouth,” he tsked, pulling out at leisure and feeling your walls desperately attempt at pulling him back in, “I’ll remember to gag you in the future.”

With that he finally, finally slammed into you, your hips bruising against his desk with each new plunge. The belt unfolded in your periphery when he let it go, his hand instead gripping into your hip and pulling you onto him and keeping your steady. He once more took hold over your wrists and your shoulders left and met the desk in pace with his thrusts. His breath came faster, every inch of him fucking into you with ease. He was hitting you perfectly, branches of impending release spreading over your skin and tightening in your belly.

“Shit, your close.” He kept steady, his pace and position the perfect catalyst of pleasure. “You think you deserve to cum?” Unsure if he wanted your words, you kept your mouth shut and instead frantically nodded, whimpers and whine leaving with every intoxicating crash of his pelvis. A seethed, another growl leaving him when you met him with silence. “Speak, you little slut. Settle this. Tell me!”

“God fucking dammit! You! I want you to make me fucking cum, Barber! Jesus fucking Christ!”

One last smack lit over your right cheek and your hips stalled, legs stiffened, and breath caught. A collection of moans, praises, curses, and cries left you, incoherent to you as you drowned in the alight pleasure that came from cumming on his massive cock.

Soon after, several deep, erratic thrusts carrying him towards his own climax, Barber’s hips stalled and he filled you further with hot, thick streams of spend. The sensation of his cum coating your walls shivered through you, your shoulders now strained as you listened to him come down.

He pulled out, fixed his pants, restrung his belt and untied your wrists. His casualness was so attractive, so routine even as you remained skirt-up and shirtless on his desk. It wasn’t processing that that had just happened; that Professor Barber had just fucked you – belted you – and you remained panting, feeling his cum linger out of you, all while he collected his bearings.

“My office hours end soon.” It wasn’t serious, his voice teasing yet stern. “You’ve learned your lesson, I trust?”

The smile you bit back was painful. He was funny, too, apparently. Finally opening your eyes, you stood from his desk and turned to face him, fixing your posture so your tits were on full display. Tracing your tongue over your bottom lip, you looked up at him and dragged a single hand up his chest. His jaw twitched, cheeks pink with sated pleasure, face framed with sweat-damp hair. He’d enjoyed himself just as much as you.

“I don’t know. I’m obviously not the best student. Maybe I need more teaching.”

Professor Barber’s face tightened as he tried to hide a smirk. He caught your wrist and dragged his thumb over the palm of your hand. “Oh, I know you will.”

“Was this my last class of the week, Professor?”

He couldn’t hide it any longer, eyes narrowing as his mouth quirked. He leaned in close, gripping tighter onto your arm. “So eager. Young. A little naïve, I think.” Your other hand went to dip into his pants, but he caught this one as well. “Definitely naïve.” He stood upright again, looking down at you through the intense dark crowding his eyes.

“Don’t schedule anything after my class on Monday. You’ll be… tied up.”

#charlie barber #charlie barber x reader #charlie barber x you #smut #no fluff for once #adam driver #charlie barber fic #office hours

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quixotic-writer · 4 years

Text

Lustful Hunger

Request: for my darling @birdgirl1772 <3

Summary: You have never been satisfied with anything. Socially, romantically, physically, you name it. Q has always tried to prove himself, but you always pushed him away. At a wrap party however, you finally give him the chance to see if he can satisfy your cravings.

warning: smut ahead!

A/N: Haha! Suki is back in action! Thanks for being so patient guys, I have so many pieces, one shots, and chapters that will be released soon now that school has calmed down a bit ;)

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Another season wrapped up just like that and the after party was in full swing. Producers, camera men, comedy producers all had a drink of sorts in their hand as they all smiled and clamored over each other talking about the success of filming. Yet again, I was off alone on the side with a can of soda in hand unsatisfied once more with everything. Building such high standards for myself has proven to be far beyond damaging, conversations seem fruitless with others, friendships come and go like seasons, romantic relationships always seemed to fizzle like a match. I'm just…

“All by your lonesome again I see.” I turn and see Q taking a seat next to me with a can of beer in his hand and a smirk on his face. He readjusts the familiar hat atop his head and brushes stray hairs off to the side, “You’re a strange bird you know darling. You always seem so sociable one moment, and so distant the next.” I took a sip from my can and felt a cool draft graze my skin as he said the word ‘darling’ which caused the hairs on my arm to stand on end.

“Not feeling social I guess.”

“Not social? Or not satisfied?” My movements came to a halt and I felt my spine tense. He knew he had me trapped in the spider's web, open and exposed like a patient on a surgical table, I could see it in the way he smiled and the way his eyebrow flicked upwards. He tapped the side of his now empty can with the ring band on his middle finger, the sound was so quiet yet it seemed to overwhelm and intimidate me.

“And what makes you question something like that Quinn?” He lassod my interest, I turned my body to face him. It was my turn to pick at his brain just as he did with mine.

“They say the eyes are the window to the soul. You, my dear, rarely ever have a spark in your eyes. When you talk to others, I can see the gears turning in your head questioning whether the conversation is worth taking any further. You have judging, hungry eyes. Always searching for something better, perfection, but never being able to quite find what you’re looking for. You don’t have a consistent friend group at all, or friends for that matter it seems. And tell me if i’m overstepping, but lovers seem to come and go like the wind and I know it’s not them breaking it off.” He leans in a little closer and a sensation sends a fiery desire through my chest and a radiating pulse in my parietal lobe.

“What makes you so knowledgeable on my psychology? Sounds like someone’s a little too familiar with the scenario than he could be letting on.” I lean in just as he had, and before me were his deep brown eyes. I began recollecting all that I could on the man before me and began to see a pattern in the memories that I played in my head. “Tell me Quinn, could you be like me?” All he did was chuckle.

“Why do you think I love talking to you so much?” My smile fades and I grow slightly flustered. Everyone always made an effort to talk to me, but I guess out of all the guys and the crew, Q was the one I seemed to talk to the most. He always talked to me whenever he could. Whenever I made a judgement in my head and pushed people away, they usually would give up after two or maybe even three tries. Not Q, though. He seemed relentless and up for the challenge. He didn’t treat me like a prize to be won, he just kept talking to me in the most genuine matter as though his one true goal truly was just to get to know me. In return, I would do the same with him, and to my surprise got the same act thrown right back. It was like a taste of my own medicine and I never realized it, but I found myself subconsciously chasing Q just as he was chasing me. “Tell me, what does it take to satisfy a girl like you then?” He said it in a low tone, it seemed like a command to tell him rather than a question. I swallow hard, I haven’t had any alcohol tonight but he has me feeling as though i’ve had more than enough to drink.

“What’s it to you, Quinn?”

“A question isn’t an answer darling.” The way he dominated the conversation made my thoughts wander to what else he had in store for me tonight. The tension was thick between us, you could cut it with a knife. I bit my lip not knowing whether I should give him the fulfillment of all of my flesh driven desires. What did I have to lose?

“As far as friends go, I like honesty and depth. It’s not easy finding that when all people do is use you to get to the people you work with. So I keep my distance. My family and you guys are my friends, don’t need much beyond that.” I smile at him and look at all the crew members paying no mind to myself and Q. It felt as though this conversation should be kept away from nearby ears, so I planned to keep it that way. “Relationship wise, many boys have come and gone in my life as you can see. But that was the problem, they were boys, not men. Sure, they could grace me with a promising conversation, treat me with respect as anyone should, give me physical intimacy. I could give them the same because in a relationship it’s like teamwork, you build each other up in ways you can. But when I wanted more, I noticed more and more that they wouldn’t be able to satiate my needs. They grew selfish with their love, they only cared about their own satisfaction and happiness, so I would leave.” I played around with my empty soda can on the counter, tracing the rim of it with my fingertip and tapping on it with my nails as I spoke.

“Absolute man eater, left a string of broken hearts behind you.”

“You got quite the track record yourself. Don’t act so innocent.” A guilty and sinister smile tugs at the corners of his lips. Q was always seen with some new girl every so often. As soon as they popped into his life, they seemed to disappear just as fast like it never even happened.

“Guess I've had my fair share of rounds. Have an insatiable hunger myself that some just couldn’t quite appease. Broke a few hearts along the way and had mine broken a few times, but I pick myself up and keep moving forward.” He raises a can as a means to toast his own statement as he brings it to his mouth for a sip, tilting his head back to get each drop in. There was something in that action that made me salivate slightly, the way I caught a glimpse of his adams apple bouncing as he drank, the tendons in his neck so clearly visible. My eyes diverted over to his arm, his ‘quixotic’ tattoo just barely visible and half covered by the sleeve of his t-shirt, his bicep slightly flexed just enough to allow filthy visuals to flow in my head. He slams the can down onto the counter top and lets out a refreshed exhale past his lips.

“How hungry are you, Quinn?” Our chairs seemed like magnets, we kept getting closer to each other. I felt the passion ignite inside, a desire to challenge the willingness of the man that was sitting before me. Our faces were inches, no, centimeters away from each other as we began leaning in close to each other. I could smell the beer on his lips. I took a plunge into the pool of lava that coaxed me into the deep end. Our lips were connected, and he tasted like the stinging electricity of promise with the lingering aroma of alcohol. With an arrogant smile on his face and a look of passion in his eyes, I knew this was only the beginning. “Wanna ditch this party?”

“Only if you give me the pleasure of finally showing you what satisfaction feels like.” I didn’t need to say much else, we made our stealthy exit and decided on his place as our final destination. I couldn’t tell if he always drove as though he was in a terribly fired rush, or he just couldn’t wait any longer and I managed to flip a switch inside of him. I already felt myself grow wetter as the seconds passed, the unpredictability of Q left my imagination working over time to create an endless web of scenarios that could play out. He guided me through the front door and once he had the door closed behind him, he had me pinned against the wall and our mouths collided. Our lips moved in sync and I felt his tongue slowly protrude into my mouth, I willingly allowed its entrance and allowed my tongue to snake around his. My hand wandered to the zipper of his jeans, I rubbed an open palm against him and felt the bulge in his pants. Instinctively, his hips jerked into my hand and a moan exudes from him.

When he pulled away, I attached my lips to a new area of flesh. His neck. I sucked hickeys onto the skin as he slowly guided me to his bedroom, stumbling against walls humming at each new sensation that felt like an intense wave of pleasure. When we finally made it to the bed, I fell onto my back and sank into the soft cushion of the mattress, there he was with lust glazing his eyes and swollen lips in a devilish smile. I help him take his shirt off and I gently rub my hands against his now bare chest. His hand slips carefully up my shirt, cold fingertips dragging up the warm skin of my stomach as he smothers into the crook of my neck, my back arches up aching to feel more of him against me. All our clothes were discarded off to the side without a second thought until we were left in nothing but our underwear, his boxers were tented, and my panties were soaking wet.

“Brian. Please, touch me more.” I sat up against the pillows and he was between my thighs, leaving dark hickeys all over my abdomen. He pulled away and smiled with a darkness in his eyes.

“I want you to pleasure yourself for me.” My eyes open up and I look down to him confused. “I want to see what makes you feel good.” He repositions himself on the bed to lay right next to me. For his odd request, I was determined to put on a show just for him.

I look down at my bare body and trace my hands carefully along my thighs and let out a shaky sigh at the feeling. My hand dips into my panties and I drag my middle finger into my soaking wet folds and hum at the slow, trained movement. I bring my middle and ring fingers to my lips and generously coat them, tasting my own juices on them as I moan and bring them back down to my entrance and slowly push them in. My eyes close and I start off slowly, carefully sliding my fingers in and out of myself.

“Tell me what you’re thinking of darling. What in your filthy mind are you imagining that’s making you so wet?” His voice is low and his breath was hot against my ear. When he spoke, there was a baritone rumble that scratched against his throat in the most breathtaking way.

“Thinking of what you’d do to me if it wasn’t my fingers making me feel so good.” I gasp and take my lower lip between my teeth. I hear shakily breath next to me and he kisses along the side of my neck and I loll my head to the side to grant him more access.

“Are you thinking about what it’d feel like if it were my thick fingers pumping in and out of your soaking wet pussy. I can imagine already how you would tighten around them when I curl them just the right way and hit the spot that would force whimpers out of you.” As he spoke, I began to imagine it all. The way I know they would slip right into me because of how wet I was, I could feel how filling they would be and stretch me in ways my own dainty hands couldn’t. “You’re so fucking beautful like this, I can’t wait to see more.” My hands wander all over my skin that was igniting, I felt myself burning from the inside out as his words drew me in closer to my climax. “I can’t wait to just get a taste of you and have my tongue discovering each and every inch of you, fucking you with it until you release all over my face and I have nothing left to do but clean it up as you buck your hips as your climax fades away. I bet you taste as good as you look.” My fingers are working faster and my free hand finds its way down to my clit and I begin rubbing circles. My feet are planted onto the sheets of the bed as I feel my hips slowly begin to lift off the bed in desperation for more. “Then I can’t wait to just shove my throbbing cock into your tight little cunt, finally show you what a good fucking feels like, give to you pleasure no other man could ever get you to experience. Pure euphoria, and it will all be because of me.” I’m gasping and whimpering as I finally fall down into the pool of euphoria, a strangled moan frees itself from my throat as my hips buck into my hand.

“Holy shit…” I gasp as I finally come down from my high and open my eyes to see him sitting next to me with a satisfied look on his face. He grabs my face in his hands and kisses me rough and deep, I almost thought he was going to suck the soul out of me. He begins to trail down and down until he’s back between my legs and tugging at my panties. “Bri, what about you?” I say as I look at the painfully visible hard on in his underwear. He presses a finger to my lips and hushes me.

“No darling, tonight is all about you. Your pleasure is my pleasure.” He throws my underwear with all the other loose miscellaneous clothing articles and looks almost hypnotized by my bare core displayed before him. “Gorgeous,” was the last thing I heard from him before he planted a few kisses onto my clit, then he took his tongue and took a few long strokes from the bottom to the top very, very slowly.

“Oh fuck. More Brian. Please I want more!” I felt him smile against me as his tongue became more pointed, tracing all about my folds then sucking hard on my clit making me pulsate hard. His arms were wrapped around my thighs and pulling me in closer and tighter to his face. “God your mouth feels so fucking good on me Bri, you’re gonna make me cum again.” My eyes were rolled back into my head as I felt the heat building in my navel as Q focused in on my clit, lapping, sucking, and swirling his tongue all around it until I released all over his face. He finally pulled away, licking his lips, the scruff on his face was damp with my liquid ecstasy and it turned me on more.

“You’re so beautiful when you cum darling, the way your jaw hangs open, your pretty little whines, and watching your eyes roll back in your head is enough to make me almost blow in my boxers baby.” He crawls up to me and captures my lips, giving me just a subtle taste of myself. I finally unclasp my bra and it’s tossed aside just like everything else, it felt like a wave of relief. “Now, let’s get something inside of you sweetheart.” His fingers were now rubbing against my entrance and slowly he slid a thick finger into me.

“Oh shit.” I huff at the sensation. His fingers were without a doubt thicker than mine, and god did they feel so good. He watched each of my reactions carefulle, observing as my chest rose and fell with each movement of his hand. His head craned down and attached his lips to one of my nipples, swirling his tongue around it and taking my nipple between his teeth and gently biting it. “Oh my god Brian, you make me feel so fucking good, faster please, I need more.” My hips buck into his hand, he smiles and happily obliges and watches as his now slick fingers slip in and out of me at a faster rate.

“Baby, I can’t wait to fuck you until your legs are shaking and you can’t walk, can’t wait to feel your juices dripping down your thighs all because of me, can’t wait until I fuck you until you can’t speak anymore.” His lust filled words served only to push me further to another climax, being as sensitive as I was, it wasn’t all that hard. His fingers worked magically within me, hitting each spot that made my arch back and my lungs expel heated breaths of excitement. Words were slowly becoming hard to form as I was tipped over the edge without so much as a warning, only whines and moans were the only noise I could get out of me. As he helped me ride through another high, he roughly kisses me and grinds himself against my thigh, I smile against his lips and rub my hand against the tent in his boxers and feel a wet spot where the tip of his cock was. He groans and I see a wave of slight embarrassment wash over him as he sees that I know he came in his boxers.

“That’s so fucking hot Bri.” He lights up and smiles, I pull my lips close to his ear, “Now, I want to give you some relief. I want you to keep that promise and fuck me til’ i’m shaking.” I climb on top of him and grind my hips against his. His hands grab at my hips and his head falls back at the sensation.

“Your wish is my command, lovely.” He rustles through his night stand and grabs out a condom as I pull his boxers off his body and his erection springs to life outside of the confines of his underwear. He slips it on and lines himself up. I rub my entrance against the head of his cock and take my lip between my teeth in anticipation. “Sink down baby.” And I do. I slowly lower myself and feel as he stretches me wider and wider the deeper down I go. I feel tears forming in my eyes because this is all slowly becoming too much for me to handle, but I love it so much. “I can feel you dripping on my thighs already, you’re so wet, so tight, so perfect.” His hands smooth over the sides of my body and stop at my hips and give them a little squeeze. With a gasp, I begin to rise and fall atop of Q, feeling as he slips in and out of me in the most delicious way. My hands reach back to his thighs so I keep my balance as my hips work faster daring to reach another high.

“Q… Bri… Feels. So good… Fuck.” I gasp out as my eyes screw shut taking in the sensation of the sweat beading on my forehead and upper lip, the burning sensation in my thighs from cumming over and over, Q’s hands that keep wandering all over my naked body sending shockwaves through my nerves, and the feeling of his now slick cock inside of me. “I’m… So sensitive… Gonna…” My hips drop down as my legs begin to tremble as I cum once again, a strained whine being the only noise I feel capable of making. I feel my body begin to slow down and Q flips us over, laying me back on the bed and him hovering above me.

“One more time baby, just one more time. For me please.” He starts thrusting harshly into me, exuding a string of incoherent moans and whines as he sought to chase his own high. His hair was pressed against his forehead and face contorted in pleasure. Picturesque and beautiful. I had my hands placed on his shoulders and I felt as his muscles tensed with each groan. “Please baby girl i’m so close, look at what you do to me. I’m such a mess for you. God you feel so good. Just for me. All because of me. I’m gonna–” His rambles came to an end with a final thrust into me, it was enough to send me over the edge one last time and we both collapsed onto the bed, the cushioning of it cradling our now sore bodies. Heat radiated off of our skin, the steam of our body creating a sheen of sweat that coated both of us. My body felt spent beyond belief and it was a sensation I had never before experienced. Satisfaction. I look down and see him lying on top of me, head resting on my sternum, panting and smirking, neck and chest littered with an array of beautiful hickeys left by yours truly. I caught a glimpse of my own body and saw a similar display and couldn’t help but laugh.

“I think I can confidently say I have never experienced anything like that before.” I rake my fingers through his hair, pushing it off of his forehead and petting him like a sweet puppy. His fingers danced across my skin, giving me goosebumps.

“Would you say that your lustful thirst has been quenched my darling?” He asked in a hoarse voice. I hum in response with a smirk. “Good. It’s what you deserve… You know, I have never blown a load in my pants like that. Not since high school at least.” His eyes met mine and I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest.

“Guess tonight was just a night of firsts for us, huh?” We both laugh together and he leans up and captures my lips in a sweet kiss, but I push things a little further as I slip my tongue into his mouth. He quickly pulls away, cocks his eyebrow, and his lips curve into a smile.

“Are you trying to hint at something?”

“And what if I am? Can’t keep up Quinn?”

“At least take me to dinner first!” He says in an exaggerated tone and a hand against his chest.

“That can be arranged. I’d love that actually. For now, round two. It’s my turn to torment you though.” I say pumping his cock back to life with a devilish smirk.

“You’re on.”

#brian ''q'' quinn #brian quinn #q #Q x reader #smut #suki writes

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arcticdementor · 3 years

Link

I have to begin this column by admitting that “Biden” (note: when in quotation marks, I refer to the “collective Biden”, not the clearly senile man) surprised me: it appears that my personal rule-of-thumb about US Presidents (each one is even worse than his predecessor) might not necessarily apply in “Biden’s” case. That is not to say that “Biden” won’t end up proving my rule of thumb as still applicable, just that what I am seeing right now is not what I feared or expected.

…

I think that both of these grossly oversimplify a probably much more complex and nuanced reality. In other words, “Biden” surprised many, if not most, Russians. That is very interesting by itself (neither Bush, nor Obama nor Trump ever surprised the Russians – who knew the score about all of them – in any meaningful way).

My strictly personal guess is that there is some very serious infighting currently taking place inside the US ruling class. Furthermore, that serious infighting is not about core principles or even strategy – it is a dispute over tactics only.

We have to keep in mind an old truism about outcomes: John F. Kennedy once said that “victory has a hundred fathers, but defeat is an orphan” and he was right. When any group seizes power and effectively controls its interests, all is well, and everybody is busy consuming the proverbial milk and honey. But when this group suffers a series of humiliating defeats, a typical cascade of events begins:

Finger pointing: everybody blames everybody else (but never himself/herself)

Hindsight wisdom: “if I had been in charge, this would not have happened!”

Infighting over quickly shrinking spoils of war

A collapse of the centralized center of authority/decision-making centers

Generation of subgroups, fighting each other over their sub-interests

In other words, following many years of extremely weak presidential administrations (since Clinton, imho), it is hardly a surprise that infighting would take place (in both parties, by the way). In fact, an apparently chaotic set of uncoordinated, or even contradictory, policies is what one should expect. And that is exactly what we have been observing since 1993 and this dynamic has been getting worse and worse with each passing year).

…

That being said, there are some observations which might be helpful when trying to at least (indirectly) identify who are the main groups fighting each other.

The hardcore, really nutty, russophobes are still here, especially in the US media which seems to be serving not so much “Biden” as much as some “crazies in the basement” kind of cabal. Next to the legacy ziomedia, there is an increasing number of US/NATO/UK military officials who are foaming at the mouth with threats, warnings, complaints and insults, all against Putin and Russia. This is important because:

The “Zone A” media has comprehensively and very effectively concealed the very real risks of war with Russia, China and Iran. And if this was mentioned, the presstitutes always stressed that the US has the “best military in the history of the galaxy” and that Uncle Sam will “kickass” anybody he chooses to. If the people of the USA were informed of the truth of the matter, they would freak out and demand that this path to war be immediately abandoned and replaced with a meaningful dialog.

US/NATO/UK authorities have talked themselves into a corner where they have only two outcomes left: they can do what the US always does, that is to “declare victory and leave”, or they can force Russia to protect her borders on land, air and sea and, thereby, face a major military humiliation delivered by Russia.

Truth be told, during the recent naval exercises UK and US officials made a lot of threats and promises to ignore Russian warnings, but in the end, they quietly packed and left. Smart choice, but it must have been painfully humiliating for them, which is very dangerous by itself.

…

There will be many more NATO exercises in the Black Sea in the future. Ditto for USN operations off the Chinese, Iranian or DPRK coasts. This (always explosive) combo of ignorance, arrogance and incompetence could result in a major war.

LAnother option is the terminally delusional UK government (supported by those Brits who still have phantom pains about their lost empire and, of course, by the largely irrelevant 3B+PU gang) might do something really stupid (say, like this) and trigger a war with the DPRK, Russia, China or Iran and then the US would have to move to defend/save a British Navy which is mostly a joke (at least by Russian or Chinese standards). The main problem here being that the USN is also in a terrible shape and cannot compete against Russian and Chinese standoff weapons (I mean that literally, there are currently no defenses against maneuvering hypersonic missiles! The only exception would be the Russian S-500). The latter two nations, by the way, have joined into an informal and unofficial military alliance for many years already; check out this article and video or this one for a recent update).

But opposite, de-escalatory developments are also taking place. First and foremost, “Biden” seemed to have “farmed out” the “Ukrainian dossier” to the Germans and washed Uncle Shmuel’s hands from it. If so, that was a very slick and smart move (which is something we have not witnessed from any administration in decades!). I highly recommend this translation of a most interesting article by arguably the best Ukraine specialist out there, Rostislav Ishchenko.

Ishchenko goes into a lot of interesting details and explains what “Biden” apparently just did. Frankly, the Germans richly deserve this full-spectrum mess and they will be dealing with the consequences of this disaster for a long time, possibly decades. In fact, the Germans are stuck: they want to be the Big European Leader? Let them. After all, the EU politicians, led by Germany, did all they could to create what is now often called “country 404” – a black hole in the heart of the European continent. Germany is the biggest economic power of the EU? Good, then let the Germans (and the rest of the EU) pay for the eventual reconstruction of the Ukraine (or of the successor-states resulting from the breakup of the country)! Russia simply cannot foot that bill, China most definitely won’t (especially after being cheated several times by the Ukies) and the USA has absolutely no reasons whatsoever to do so. I would even argue that chaos (social, economic, political, cultural. etc.) in Europe is probably seen by the US ruling class as highly desirable since it 1) weakens the EU as a competitor 2) justifies, however hypocritically and mistakenly, a “strong US presence” in Europe and 3) gives NATO a reason (however mistaken, misguided and even immoral) to exist

The US is protected from the fallout (immigrants, violence, extremism, etc.) of the Ukrainian disaster by distance, the Atlantic, a much stronger military (at least compared to anybody else in NATO). The US can print money in any way it wants and has no interests whatsoever in the (dying) Ukraine. If Ishchenko is right, and I agree with him, then there is somebody (possibly a group of somebodies) who is a lot smarter than anybody in the Trump Admin and who figured out that the Nazi-occuppied Ukraine should be an German/EU problem, not one for the US.

There is, of course, also the pessimistic analysis: the US is on the retreat everywhere, but only for the following reasons:

Regroup, reorganize, buy time to develop some kind of coherent strategy

Focus on each adversary separately and prioritize (divide et impera at least!)

Re-analyze, re-plan, re-design, re-develop, re-train, re-equip and re-test pretty much everything in the US armed forces (which have not been shaped by any rational force planning in decades)

Those who believe the strategic retreat theory (I am not personally discounting this version, but I do not see enough evidence – yet – to endorse it either) typically add that “the US only left Afghanistan to hand it over to the Taliban/al-Qaeda and unleash them against “soft underbelly of Russia”. Now, that is utter nonsense, if only because Russia does not have a common border with Afghanistan.

…

Coming back to “Biden’s” great retreat: if “Biden” is smart enough to hang the Ukraine on Germany, “he” is probably too smart to predicate the US foreign policy towards Russia predicated around the “soft underbelly” thingie. As for all the “fire and brimstone” threats of war against Russia, they are not impressing anybody as the Russians, the Chinese and the Iranians know that a confident and powerful country does not need to threaten anybody, if only because the actual capabilities of these country are a very telling “threat” by themselves. But when a former superpower is weak, confused and frightened, it will make many roaring statements about how it can defeat the entire planet if needed (after all, the US military is “the best military in the history of the galaxy”! If you doubt that, just listen to Toby Keith!). In other words, while in the West threats are an instrument of foreign policy, in Russia, and in the rest of Asia, they are inevitably seen as a sign of weakness, doubts and even fear.

Then there seems to be a long list of weapons systems, procurement plans and “defense” monies which have been pulled back, including the (truly awful) LCS and F-35. While it is true that the US is gradually phasing out fantastically expensive weapons systems and platforms which were also more or less useless, this show the ability to at least admit that all that talk about super-dooper US superweapons was just that, talk, and that in reality the US MIC is incapable of producing the kind of superb high quality systems which it used to produce in large quantities in the past (Arleigh Burke, F-15, Jumbo 747, the Willys Jeep, F-16, A-10, Los Angeles SSN, KH satellites, etc.). This is why the F-15X is designed to “augment” the F-35 feet (by itself a very smart move!).

Such an admission, even if indirect and only logically implied, might show a level of maturity, or courage, by “Biden” which his predecessors did not have.

Could it be that the folks at the Pentagon, who do know the reality of the situation (see here for a very good Moon of Alabama article about this), figured out that Clinton, Bush, Obama and Trump vastly over extended the Empire and now they need to regroup and “re-everything” to achieve a more sustainable “defense” posture?

Could it be that “Biden” will deliver what Trump promised, i.e. to end the useless (and unwinnable!) wars, stop caring too much about the agonizing EU, silently accept that Russia has no intentions (and no need!) whatsoever to attack anyone and focus on the biggest non-military threat out there: China. Maybe.

As far as I know, many (all?) simulations – by RAND and the US military – and command staff exercises have shown that the US would lose badly to both Russia or China. Could it be that “Biden” wants to put Russia and China on the backburner and “deal” with Iran first? The latest news on the US/Israel vs Iran front is not good, to say the least.

…

So what are we left with?

Frankly, I am not sure.

I think that there is very strong, even if only indirect, evidence which there is some very serious in-fighting taking place in the “Biden” administration and there is also strong, but also indirect, evidence that the military posture of the United States is undergoing what might end up being a major overhaul of the US armed forces.

If true, and that is a big “if”, this is neither good news nor bad news.

But this might be big news.

Why?

Because, objectively, the current US retreat on most fronts might be the “soft landing” (transition from Empire to “normal” country) many Trump voters were hoping for. Or it might not. If it is not, this might be a chaos-induced retreat, indicating that the US state is crumbling and has to urgently “simplify” things to try to survive, thereby generating a lot of factional infighting (at least one Russian observer specialized in “US studies”, Dmitrii Drobnitskii, believes to be the case: see the original article here, and its machine translation here). Finally, the state of decay of the US state might already be so advanced that we can consider it as profoundly dysfunctional and basically collapsing/collapsed. The first option (soft landing) is unlikely, yet highly desirable. The second option (chaos-induced retreat) is more likely, but much less desirable as it is only a single step back to then make several steps forward again. The last option (profoundly dysfunctional and basically collapsing/collapsed) is, alas, the most likely, and it is also, by far, the most perilous one.

For one thing, options #2 and #3 will make US actions very unpredictable and, therefore, potentially extremely dangerous. Unpredictable chaos can also quickly morph into a major war, or even several major ones, so the potential danger here is very real (even if totally unreported in Zone A). This, in turn, means that Russia, China, Iran, the DPRK, Venezuela or Cuba all have to keep their guard up and be ready for anything, even the unthinkable (which is often what total chaos generates).

Right now, the fact that the US has initiated a “great retreat” is undeniable. But the true reasons behind it, and its implications, remain quite obscure, at least to me.

I will conclude by asking you, the readers, for your opinion: do you think that the US is currently in a “contraction phase”? If yes, do you believe that this is a short-term only phenomenon, or will this retreat continue and, if yes, how far?

#unz review #the saker

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missfluffywriter · 4 years

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Purple Irises I Mafia Park Jimin x Reader

Author’s note: Hello everyone! God I feel like I’m always screwing up the update schedule. But I have an offical schedule now!! I now update every Wednesday at around 1:00 pm PST. Oof, okay sooo we’re reaching the galaaa I’m so excited. That’s like the part I’m most looking forward to not gonna lie, lol. Oh an I’ll be uploading the masterlist sometime today. Anyway that’s it for me. Happy readings!

Word count: 9.9k

Genre: Mafia au, doctor au (kind of), florist au (again kind of but not really)

Paring: Park Jimin x reader

(Series) Summary: You were supposed to be delivering flowers, so how did you end up in an operation room digging a bullet out of a mafia boss’ shoulder?

Purple Irises: Royalty and wisdom

Warnings: Guns, violence, language, not much really.

Previous chapter I Next chapter I Masterlist

“Good morn一 Oh? Well, good morning everyone,” You paused mid greeting as your eyes met the seven men scattered around Jimin’s bedroom. Shelty energetically bounds over to the silver-blond mafia boss the minute her eyes land on him. And said silver-blond was more than happy to reciprocate the affection.

Striding to the first-aid box still seated on the table across the bed, a chorus of ‘good morning’s and ‘morning’s resound throughout the room as you sit beside Jimin on the sofa. The mafia boss automatically removes his shirt and turns to give you better access to the bandage clip.

“We got you breakfast,” Jeongguk chirps, directing your attention to the strawberry parfait and the vibrant fruit platter beautifully decorated, on the clear glass coffee table.

“Thanks you guys,” Humming in approval of the healthy breakfast choice, a smile of gratitude curves on your lips as you unwrap the last layer of gauze from the young mafia boss’ shoulder. Your smile widens when you examine the used gauzes. ‘Good, the drainage is lessening,’ The white gauze was nearly stainless, though there were specs of red, the discharge was mostly just a faded yellow stain on the gauze, which meant the wound was healing well.

Carefully cleaning the healing wound with alcohol wipes before applying the antibiotic ointment on and around the bullet wound. Then quickly wrapping Jimin’s shoulder with fresh new gauze and bandage before clipping on the bandage clip.

‘I should show this to Jin,’ He had been wanting to learn the ways of medical science. And what better way than to learn first hand.

Softly calling his name you beckon him to your side whilst putting away the ointment and leftover bandages. “Look, you see this?” You show him the used gauze.

“Uh, yeah?” His answer sounded more like a question, his eyes flickering to dirtied items in your hand then to you.

“You see the light yellow-ish marks on the gauze?” Gesturing to the smudge of yellow on the mostly white piece of cloth. “It’s called a serosanguineous. Serosanguineous is the term used to describe discharge that contains both blood and a clear yellow liquid known as blood serum. Most physical wounds produce some drainage, it’s a sign that the wound is healing,”

“Wait, hold on, hold on. Give me a sec, I need to write down,” Jin scrambles to find any sort of writing tool and surface to write on. With a soft chuckle, you assure the man that he did not have to write this down as everything you had just said was covered in the textbooks you had yet to give him.

You lift the gauze up with both hands for the rest to see when the youngest gives you a curious glance, leaning in from behind to catch a glimpse of what you were talking about. Jeongguk looks inquisitively at the gauze before raising his to meet yours, silently asking you to continue.

Lowering the gauze to sit beside you, a soft smile stretches across your lips, gratefully accepting the cup of parfait Jin hands you. Bringing a spoonful of granola and yogurt to your mouth, you hum, savoring the tart and sweet flavors of the breakfast parfait before diving into a medical lesson. “When you first get a cut or when you bleed after getting a wound that’s called Sanguineous drainage, it is the first drainage that a wound produces. It is the fresh red blood that comes out of the injury when it first occurs. This drainage occurs when a wound is in the first stage of healing, known as the inflammatory stage. It thickens as the blood starts to clot. Though Sanguineous drainage may last longer in deeper wounds.

However, if Sanguineous drainage or drainage that is mostly blood occurs later on in the wound’s healing process that may be a sign of further damage to the tissues in the area. And that’s no good.

And then there is Serosanguineous and that is a different kind of discharge that may happen with larger wounds that require the bandages to be changed regularly, like Jimin’s wound. It’s the clear yellow-ish stuff I talked about. These types of drainage will usually appear in the first few days of a wound’s healing process and then disappear as the wound scabs over. Oh, but that’s for wounds that don’t need stitches or sutures. Sutures like Jimin’s are different, they don’t really scab.

So you see Sanguineous and serosanguineous discharge are all a part of the wound healing process. They help the wound stay lubricated to make healing easier.” You explain, taking breaks between sentences for a bite of your parfait.

Jeongguk looks at you with wide confused doe eyes. As you shifted your eyes to the other six men in the room, they each held a similarly perplexed expression. “You lost me at ‘starts to clot’,” The youngest rapidly blinks, trying to recall any of which you had been speaking of.

“It’s fine,” Chuckling you wave him off, finishing the last spoon of yogurt, granola, and fruit. “So, what are we all here for today? I’m assuming we aren’t having breakfast together just to have breakfast together,” You ask as the men finish their own parfaits.

“Do you remember what Guk said yesterday?” Jimin speaks, shifting to better face you.

“Something about a mafia party?” You ask, recalling the memory from the day before.

“It’s more of a gala or a ball than a party,” Namjoon corrects.

“Yes, and it is the biggest event in the mafia community. Larger mafia families take turns hosting the party each year. This year it is being hosted by the Mae family,” Jimin further explains, crossing one leg over the other.

Raising a questioning brow, you ask, “And you want me to go?” The silver-blond beside you nods, resting his weight on the sofa arm. “I’m sorry, why? I’m your doctor, why would you need me at a party?”

“How can someone be so perceptive yet so dense at the same time?” Jeongguk’s flat tone resounds throughout the room and you could sense the face-palm energy reverberating throughout the room, hearing each man sighing in agreement with the youngest’s statement.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Grumbling, you pulled your legs into your chest, holding onto your ankles.

“You’re going with us because I said so, do you need a better reason?”Jimin voices as he watches you toy with your socks.

Yes “No,” You mumble your response, still not sure as to why they wanted you to attend the ball. A few beats of silence and the thought you had been meaning to bring up returns to you.

“Jimin?” The mafioso hums at the call of his name. “I was thinking, now that the Yeong know we have control over the prison house. That we should probably bring Jiyoung’s family here. Or at least let him see them,”

“Ah yes, we're actually already on that. As a matter of fact, he will be reuniting with them later today,” Namjoon answers your question before someone else pipes up.

“Well then, we need to get her ready for the party,” Hoseok speaks, coming to stand behind Jimin.

“Get me ready?” Blinking, you question the man in charge as you process the abrupt topic change.

“I guess we could start with self-defense, then firearms training, and etiquette and all that jazz will come afterwards. Oh, and I guess we need to get you an outfit,”

“I need to learn what now?” Jimin ignores your question as he announces the day’s plans.

“We’re going shopping after this,” Casually sliding his hands into his sweatpant pockets, a smile curves onto his lips which was honestly more of a smirk.

“We are?” A breathless response comes from you before Jimin is shooing you out of his room.

“Yes, so go get ready,”

“Question,” Your index finger raised. “Why are we standing in front of a Louis Vuitton store?” You ask, taking in the storefront of the luxurious brand. It wasn’t as though you had never seen the building, as a matter of fact, this was a very familiar place, being two blocks down from Kabloom flower shop you had passed this store multiple times on your way to your previous job. But never had you imagined actually going into the place unless it was you were delivering flowers.

“To get you an outfit obviously,” Taehyung says, his forehead scrunching at your question.

“We’re not going in there!” You exclaim, accusingly pointing to the store.

“And why not? Where else are we going to get you an outfit?” Taehyung asks, hands on his hips, trying to understand the reason as to why you were rejecting the store.

“I don’t know a normal boutique. I can’t afford anything from this place!” You shriek an explanation, the pitch of your voice rising as you spoke.

“You are not going to be, we’re paying. You just pick out what you want,” Jimin calmly speaks as he turns to you.

“I’m not letting you waste money on me,” Eyebrows furring in disapproval, you return the mafia boss’ gaze.

“(Y/n), I’m not asking,” He concludes sternly. Your eyes fell to the floor at the silver-blond’s tone, most would not have caught it, but you could hear the anger or at least annoyance laced in his voice.

Jimin himself wasn’t exactly sure as to why his temper flared. It was true that he was known to have a short fuse, but this was nothing to be angry about. But for reasons unknown, he felt his anger blaze at your words. ‘Waste money on me,’ He couldn’t help the scowl that made it’s way onto his face.

“Bu一”

“No buts, you heard the boss, now come on. Let’s go in” Jin excitedly tugs into the store, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk on your tail.

The store was luxurious to say the least. The soft golden hues of the ceiling lights reflected on the polished white marbles. Leather round sofa-chairs strategically scattered around the space as seating areas for each section of the store. Handbags and clothing artistically placed around the room. The space was immaculately clean and employees dotted every corner of the store, interacting with the many customers. Though the store wasn’t exactly bustling, quite a few shoppers were roaming the vicinity.

Immediately as you step into the lavish store, you are greeted by a tall man dressed in a navy blue suit. “Ah, welcome Park Jimin-ssi, how may I help you today?” He bowed, his eyes flickering to you then back to the young mafia boss before him.

“We’re looking for the finest dresses for this young lady here,” Jimin replied, gesturing to your form.

“Of course, please follow me,” The man nodded, leading the group up the staircase that came into view the minute you stepped into the store. Up the curving staircase, he led you to a dressing room separate from the main store.

A large floor to ceiling window allowed natural light to pour into the room. A plush beige carpet beneath your feet as the entire floor was carpeted. There was another door adjacent to the wall you had entered from. Most likely a dressing room for you to try on the dresses that would be picked. You took in your surroundings as and even within the room handbags and clothing were on display around the sofa that sat directly in front of the ceiling to floor window. “Do you have a dress in mind you would like madam?” He asks you as the four men accompanying you sit on the sofas in the room.

“So (Y/n), what kind of design are you looking for?’’ Taehyung asks.

“I don’t know,” An honest response, you had barely ever been to regular parties and when you did you opted for a comfortable pair of jeans and sweatshirt, never really bothering with the way you dressed. Which also meant you weren’t exactly sure as to how you were supposed to dress for a gala.

“You don’t know? Like color preference? Style? I don’t know, glittery? Flashy?” Taehyung throws out options.

“Oo, no glittery. Something simple, but nice,” Your face contorted as you tried to explain what you liked.

“Simple but nice, great description (Y/n),” Jeongguk scoffs with a flat voice.

“Well, something elegant, nothing too frilly or flashy, but not a maxi dress either. Oh, and definitely a long dress. Something simple but elegant,” Your voice quieted towards the end. “And uh… nevermind”

“No, go on,” With an upward tilt of his head, Jimin urges you to continue.

“It’s nothing really,”

“(Y/n),” His voice deep, a warning in his tone.

“Well um, if it’s not too much, I uh, I like soft fabrics. So it would be nice of the dress was made of the something soft,”

“A long dress, simple but elegant, and made of a soft fabric. We will have all dresses matching the description sent here shortly. Until then please, enjoy some champagne,” The man in the navy suit smiles as another employee, a woman, serves glasses of champagne.

“It’s so weird seeing you without Shelty, why couldn’t just bring her with us?” The youngest whines, his bunny face scrunching as he thought about your adorable companion.

“We can’t bring a dog half your height into a store,” Jin counters the younger male, sipping his champagne.

“As much as I miss her, Jin’s right. We couldn’t bring her here. You have to remember that to other people Shelty is basically a wolf. And I don’t think the employees would be very happy if we tried to bring a wolf into a store they are responsible for,” Chuckling, you watch as the brunette grumbled.

Your eyes drifted throughout the room as the eldest and the youngest launched into another banter while the other two had their eyes glued to their phones. As your gaze continued to roam the room they halted when they landed on a particular handbag that sat just behind a large tote bag.

It was a solid black, rectangular handbag that featured a display of leather-wrapped LV Initials on the upper edge of the handbag. The bag had a top handle as well as adjustable straps. It had a clean crisp design, simple yet elegant. Truly a gorgeous bag, and though you weren’t necessarily interested in collecting overpriced leather boxes, this particular bag stirred a strange want within you. Nibbiling the inside of your lip, you examined the exquisite bag, your focus so intent that you couldn’t feel a pair of honey-brown orbs that were keenly observing your every reaction. You hadn’t realized you had been staring, until a well-dressed woman entered the room, a rack of colorful dresses in tow, and you tore your eyes from the bag to her.

“Simple but elegant and made of a soft fabric. I brought all the dresses that matched the description,” The woman wheeled the rack to where the dressing room door was.

“Well then?” Jin cleared his throat. Though not understanding his gesture, you continue to owlishly blink at him. “Go on, try them on,”

“O一oh, okay,” Stammering out a reply, you quickly make your way towards the clothing rack.

Up close, you counted five dresses in total. And from what you could see, at least three of those dresses fit the criteria you had given near perfectly. The dresses were simple but elegant and incredibly soft to the touch.

An excited smile curved on your lips when you felt the texture of the clothing. Never really having had the opportunity to try on so many beautiful pieces of garments, and never having truly shopped with any other intent than the utility of the product. You couldn’t help the small bounce on your heel as you looked to Jimin, who wore a satisfied smile, nodded for you to go ahead.

‘Why’d I do that?’ You paused, eyelids fluttering as you realized you had asked for Jimin’s permission before doing anything else. You knew he wouldn’t have minded or even cared if you had jumped straight to trying on the dress, but the action was so natural. Your mind had automatically thought of making sure Jimin approved of what you were doing before anything else. And your body moved accordingly.

You didn’t exactly like the feeling of asking permission from someone before doing something, but for now, you shake off those thoughts and return to the most important matter at hand. And that was choosing your gala dress.

“Which are you gonna try on first?” Taehyung asked from his position beside Jimin.

“Oo, try on the black one,” Jeongguk eagerly suggests.

“Why not?” You indulge him, entering the dressing room with the black dress.

The dress was a floor-length, v-neckline ball gown dress with silver beading on the neckline, and black tulle around the skirt. It was a lovely dress, really it was, but it just didn’t fit the simple criteria. Viewing yourself one last time in the mirror you walk out for the men’s opinion. A giddy laugh escapes your lips as you did, you were starting to enjoy yourself.

“How do you think she’ll look?” Taehyung asks, gulping down his second glass of champagne.

“Beautiful,” An almost immediate response comes from the man he least expected to come from.

“What?” He blurts, dumbly stares at his frozen boss as he thought his ears betrayed him. He looks at Jin and Jeongguk, who both held the same shocked expression. So his ears didn’t betray him.

“Did you just一”

“Yes, and?” Jimin cuts off Taehyung. He hadn’t meant to answer. His mouth had moved before his brain did. Although he didn’t exactly regret those words, nor did he really wanted to take them back. He was speaking the honest truth when he spoke those words. Whatever you wore you look absolutely lovely in, whether it be your oversized hoodie you seem to adorably drown in or a thousand dollar dress.

A grin explodes onto Taehyung’s face, a grin that could only mean mischief. Jimin narrowed his eyes at the male. “Not a word,” He warns the chestnut-haired mafioso. The mafia boss’ eyes narrow further as a knowing smile stretches across Jin’s lips, before being ripped from his chain of thoughts by the slow opening of the dressing room door.

All his anger and aggression, forgotten the instant you stepped out of the dressing room. Bashfully walking into the room, you tuck your already tucked hair.

“So, uh, how do I look?” You ask, shyly averting your gaze from a certain silver-blond. You weren’t precisely sure as to where your sudden shyness rose from, but you couldn’t help as your heart thumped powerfully in your chest. And hearing no response from the men, you took their silence as a ‘not very good’. “I一I’ll go try on something el一”

“You look beautiful,” Jimin interjects before you could scurry back into the dressing room.

You didn’t think it possible but you felt your heart pump even faster at his words. A soft red dusted your cheeks as a face splitting grin spread across your face. “Thank you,”

“But, I don’t really think this is my style. So uh, I’ll go try on the other dresses,” You say a little shaky from the rapid pulse in your throat. Hurriedly grabbing another dress from the rack you scamper back into the small dressing room, shutting the door behind you.

Jimin bit back a grin as he watched your back disappear. He didn’t understand the strange warmth that flourished in his chest. He couldn’t express the sheer happiness and satisfaction he felt when he saw the jubilant glimmer that sparkled in your bright orbs and the elated grin that burst onto your lips when you heard his complement. Jimin’s fists clenched as he tried futilely to calm his thundering heartbeat.

“Yong Moon, add that to the cart,” The silver-blonde gestured to the handbag you’d been eyeing minutes prior.

“Of course,” The navy suited man responded, giving a light bow before reaching for the bag, handing it to the woman that had brought in the clothing rack. The woman exited the room with the bag.

Jimin ignored the questioning brow that rose on Jeongguk’s face, and the stupid grins on the faces of the other two. The youngest looked questioningly at his elders, who simply dismissed him with a shake of their heads.

Exhaling a jittery breath you lean against the closed door. ‘He called me beautiful’ You inhale deeply, trying to get your racing heart under control. And even the pain from biting into your lower lip couldn’t suppress the giddy smile that refused to leave your lips. It was a simple compliment, more of an obligatory complement, and yet this inexplicable warm, fluffy feeling had erupted in your chest.

‘I wasn’t even looking when I grabbed this thing,’ Looking down to the dress in your clutches. Your breath hitched as you took in the garment you held. And you hurried to slip into the dress.

‘She’s taking a lot longer than before,’ Jimin shifted in his seat as his gaze bore into the dressing room door.

‘He stares any harder and he’ll burn holes through ‘em,’ Taehyung deadpan expression spoke millions as he watched his boss cross and uncross his legs every few minutes. And the chestnut-haired male could practically feel the moment Jimin forgot to breathe.

“I think I found the one,” In a shy, soft voice you speak as your mirthful eyes excitedly meet theirs.“So uh, what do you guys think?”

The dress was a deep wine red off-shoulder neckline that came together in a v-shape at the chest. A high split in the ball gown skirt that gracefully flowed behind you, making a sort of train. The smooth satin material gently kissed your skin as the dress elegantly hung on your form.

“You look amazing,” Jin is the first to speak up, followed by words of agreement from two other men.

You bashfully thanked the men for the compliment they were showering you with. Although there was still one more that had yet to speak. Jimin hadn’t uttered a single sound since you had entered the room. And the silence was stirring your anxiousness, what if he didn’t like the dress you absolutely adored? Though you doubted he would deny you from choosing what you wanted. You had hoped he would have liked it as much as you did.

“Well then Jimin, don’t you have something you want to say?” Jin cleared his throat as he prompted the young mafia boss to speak.

“Absolutely stunning,” His words flowed straight from his brain to his mouth. Whatever filters he may have had were left useless at that moment. As his cerebrum was far too occupied imprinting the sight before him into his memory. The most gorgeous woman he had ever seen stood before him, shyly asking him for his opinion, technically you asked everyone his mind simply short-circuited itself. As he drank in your form, his face scrunched into a frown when he saw your expression sadden. He didn’t like that, a frown didn’t suit you in the slightest.

But when a wide smile exploded onto your face at his words, the pure joy and happiness that you held in your smile, he couldn’t help the blood that rushed straight into his cheeks. He cleared his throat bringing his hand to his lips and face, in some effort to conceal his rosy cheeks.

“Thank you!” Your own cheeks flushed a brilliant crimson.“And I think I know the one I want” You declare, looking down to the skirt of the beautiful gown, heart still beating a mile a minute.

“Are you sure? There are three more dresses you could try on,” Jin askes, his gaze flickering from you to the clothing rack then back to you.

“Uh-huh, I want this one,”

“That’s fine, but don’t you want to try another one?” Eyebrows furrowed, he asks, coming to stand beside you. And you shake your head as a ‘no’

“But yo一”

“If that’s the one she wants then that’s the one she gets. Yong Moon, please add that to the cart,” Jimin interjects, his gaze shifting to the navy-suited man. “Now for shoes,”

“Jimin-ssi, we thought that the miss would take a liking to that particular dress. So, we brought shoes we thought would go perfectly with it,” His response is immediate as another employee walks in with a pair of black heeled callback sandals. The insoles were a fawn-brown, it had a strap where the vamp of the shoe would have been. And an adjustable strap around the ankle with golden letters spelling “Vuitton”.

A smile curved on your lips as you admired the heels, they had picked this particular pair with your requests in mind.

“Well then, try it on,” Jin urges you.

Snapping your gaze to the older male then back to the shoe, you nod, striding across the small room to where Jin had been sitting.

Delicately you slip on the heeled sandals, adjusting the straps to fit your ankle before standing. Hurriedly tottering to stand before the men, then spinning, giving them a three-hundred-sixty view of your completed outfit.

A quiet hum escapes Jimin’s lips as he watches you twirl, contentment washing over him in waves. He felt a sense of achievement and fulfillment seeing the joyous smile he had brought you. Taking in your form he noticed the bareness of your neck, originally he had all intentions to point out the fact but that was before he had his genius idea, and so he kept his observations to himself.

“Do you like it?” Jimin muses though he was fairly certain of your answer. He simply felt the need to hear it from you. And the shy nod of your head was more than enough for him. “We’ll be taking both,” He says to Yong Moon.

“So uh, how much did it all add up to?” Slinking to where Jimin and Jin were seated, you ask. Considering the fact that you had your dress chosen, you assumed the other two had left to fetch the car.

“The tota一”

“Don’t worry about it,” The young mafia boss cuts off Yong Moon’s answer, waving you off as he signed the receipt.

“Come on, I was just wondering was all,” A frown folds onto your face as you follow them down the stairs and out of the store. “Jimin, please, I don’t see why I can’t know how much you spent on me.” Stepping into the short limousine you had arrived at the store in.

Sighing in defeat, he silently hands you the receipt. Your eyes scan over the piece of paper before landing on the “total” line. A loud gasp left you lips, eyes blowing wide, you snap your head to look at Jimin.

“You did not just spend nearly twenty-five-million won on me!” Voice booming in the car you stare at the mafia who simply shrugged at your words. “That’s like twenty-thousand dollars! Just how much was that dress?!”

“I think the guy said like about twelve-million won,” Taehyung replies thoughtfully, amusement laced in his tone.

“Twelve一 what?! That’s like four times my rent!” You exclaimed. “And the shoes were what? Eight-million won?!”

“You can’t just go around spending millions of won just like that! How could you spend so much! Oh my god, you should’ve told me! I would have picked something cheaper!” Jimin chuckled at your reaction, and this was the reason he hadn’t wanted to let you know of the price.

“That’s exactly why we didn’t tell you,” Jeongguk quips as your brain processed the fact that these crazy nut jobs had just bought you a dress that cost more than your house rent.

“(Y/n), it’s a gala, you have to dress nicely,” Jin laughs, attempting to bring your energy back down to a three.

“Oh my god you guys,” You grumbled, bringing your sweater covered palms to cover your eyes. Your eyes stung as your throat tightened. It was never in you to get emotional over something so trivial as clothes but, this was the first time someone had gone out of their way for you. Sure, it was for the gala, and they wanted you to look presentable, but they didn’t have to.

The smile on Jimin’s lips dissipates when he picks up the soft sniffles that left your throat. “(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Immediately on alert, anxiously waiting for your answer.

“I’m sorry, it’s一 it’s just… no one’s ever done something so nice for me. To go out of your way, to spend your hard-earned money on a basically a stranger,” You say as tears threaten to fall.

“What?” Jimin’s frown deepens. You weren’t a stranger, not anymore anyway.

“You see, I’ve never known my parents. I grew up in the foster care system. And it’s just, I knew, I knew everything they did, they only did because they had to. I knew they never cared, no one cared, and that was fine. I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible anyway,” You explained. “That was actually one of the reasons I joined the accelerated program. So I could move into the dorms as soon as I finished high school. Sure, I had friends through college but we were just never close. And I just… I don’t know,”

“Just, thank you, you guys,” Jimin’s breath caught in his throat when you lowered your hands onto your lap, giving them a teary smile.

How strange, thanking the men you should be hating. The men that ruined your perfectly mundane life. And yet here you were thanking them for even you weren’t sure what.

“It一 it’s ah, don’t mention it. Hey, hey don’t cry (Y/n),” The youngest stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. The other men stuttering out similar responses, not entirely sure what to do with the information that had just been handed to them.

Seeing your expression Jimin wasn’t sure as to how he should go about comforting you. Or if you even needed to be comforted. Though his dilemma had been put on hold as his phone binged with a notification. Reaching into his pant pocket he pulled out his phone. Eyes running across the text on his lock screen. He cleared his throat before addressing you, “Ahem, (Y/n),” You hummed at the call of your name as soft sniffels leave your lips. “Most of the things you ordered will be arriving tomorrow,”

“Oh? That’s good I’ll start organizing everything as soon as I get them,”

“I don’t think so,” Jeongguk interrupts.

“Huh?”

“Your training with Hoseok officially starts tomorrow, so I’m afraid you’ll be busy with that all day,” Jimin explains, his gaze meeting your confused ones.

“My what?”

“Training,”

Excruciating pain shot throughout your body, muscles burning and aching having pushed well past their limits. Gasps leave your lips as you struggle to get adequate amounts of oxygen, your lungs working on overdrive. A sheen of sweat layered on your skin as you pushed yourself farther.

“Come on (Y/n), we’re almost there,” Jeongguk encouraged you as he jogged backwards in front of you. ‘Fit bastard,’ You glowered at the male, barely making it back to where Jimin, Jin, and Hoseok were seated on the lawn.

It wasn’t as though your own cardio vascular health was poor, it was just, running a lap around the entier back gardens were more than any normal human could handle, especially in sweltering sun, well, aside from Jeongguk apparently.

“No one一 ha, no one said一 no one said we were running!” Your voice boomed throughout the otherwise peaceful gardens.

“Cardio is very important (Y/n),” Hoseok smiles, throwing you a bottle of water. Which you barely caught before collapsing onto the grass.

“I’m dying,”

“You’re not dying, now get up,” The youngest chuckles, gleefully running his palm through Shelty’s soft fur.

“Excuse me, are you the doctor or am I the doctor?” Thundering at the male you continue, “That’s right, I’m the doctor. I decide when I’m dying. And right now I’m dying.”

“Alright, alright, time to get serious,” Hoseok claps, helping you stand. “How much do you know about self-defense?”

“Honestly, not much,” Sighing, you answer honestly, huffing as you shift your weight from leg to leg. “I’ve never really had to do much self-defending,”

“Have you ever learned any self defense or did you carry a taser or pepper spray or something?” Hoseok asked.

“No, I didn’t really have to carry anything,” Your gaze drifted to the seventy-pound puppy rolling around on the grass. “Whenever I had to work late into the night, I just brought Shelty to work with me. And well, she’s basically a wolf to everyone who doesn’t know otherwise, and no one really wants to test their luck against a wolf half their size. Besides, I already lived in a good part of the town, so there weren’t many threats, to begin with. So yeah,”

“I see… then let’s start with something simple like disarming someone with a knife,” He says before grabbing one of the wooden knives he had brought with him. “First, always try to use your opponent's movements against them,” He explains.

“Wait, uh before we start anything, can we send Shelty into the house, or can Jeongguk or someone take her for a walk or something?” Running your fingers through the soft black fur of the wolf-dog, you ask the men. You could see the confusion in their expression, but their confusion dissipates into understanding as they recalled the incident with Haewon.

“Right, uh, I’ll take her inside,” Jin offers, standing from his seated position. He dusts off his butt before calling your puppy to him.

Shelty looks at you, and you give her a smile, prompting her to go with Jin, “Go on,” And that’s all she needs to gallop over to the eldest, right after showering Jimin with slobbery wet kisses.

“Here, try attacking me with this knife,” Hoseok calls for your attention, throwing you the wooden knife, he stands in a guarded position.

“It’s alright, I’ll be fine,” Hoseok assured when he saw you hesitate. And your eyebrows furrowed at his words. Of course, he’d be fine, he had been doing this for much longer than you ever had. And it wasn’t him that you were worried about, you were more concerned that he wouldn’t be able to hold back properly and you’d end up getting hurt.

“It’s not really you, I’m worried about,” A flat chuckle leaves your lips.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be holding back,”

“Oh you better,” Huffing a laugh you charge towards him with the knife outstretched in front of you.

“Now you see, when someone is coming at you with a knife, pivot on your foot,” He pivoted on his right foot, letting you pass him. “Then grab the hand with the knife and the back of their neck, twist the wrist until they let go of the knife,” He tightly took hold of your wrist, twisting it out of your grasp. “Bring their arm behind them, push them to the ground with the attacker’s own momentum then pin them to the ground using your weight,” He explained, pinning you on the ground with his knee on your back.

A yelp left your lips when the pressure from his knee became a little too powerful. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” He jumped off of you, then helped you to your feet.

“I’m fine,” Giving him a reassuring smile, you stand.

“Are you sure? Do you need a break?” Another voice pipes in from the sidelines. Turning your head to see the owner of the familiar voice, your smile softens when your gaze lands on a worried-looking Jimin, who was already half on his feet.

“I’m fine Jimin, really. And honestly, a break would be lovely right now,” Jimin opens his mouth to speak, though you cut him off before he could make a sound. “But, if I do take a break I know I’ll never get back to it because I will find some way to escape this. So… let’s just... get started,” Although still not fully convinced, he sits back, letting you continue.

Leaning your weight on your left leg you chuckled, the mafia boss had been, in his own way, oddly clingy with you, staying by your side whenever possible. ‘How adorable,’ Shaking your head you turn back to Hoseok.

“Alright then, we’ll start slow motion, then as you get used to it, we can speed up. Okay?” Nodding to his words you throw him the knife. “Okay, here we go. Remember everything I told you,”

He moved slowly with the knife in his right hand. ‘Pivot, twist, grab, pin,’ Recalling his instructions you pivot on your left foot, grabbing his wrist and twisting it. You weren’t exactly sure whether you had made him let go or if he had willingly let go, most likely the latter. Before pushing him, for now gently, onto the ground, then using all your weight you pin him to the ground. Though it was more of you sat on him while you held his arm to his back.

“Good job. It was close, but not quite,” He says as you stood, helping him up as you did. “Don’t just sit on me. If the attacker is trained, and most of them are they’ll be out of your hold before you know it,” He teaches you, and you make mental notes. ‘I should really be taking notes,’

“Instead, apply all your weight onto one of your knees, while kind of standing on the other. So if you need to, you can jump away from the attacker quickly,” He explains while you nod in understanding. “Alright, let’s try it again,”

And the process continues, you practiced that one move again and again, though each time the attack speed quickens till the point it was almost at full speed. There were moments where Hoseok would pause the training to give you extra pointers and tips.

Deeming your knife disarming skills decent, he moves on to teaching you to block and dodge attacks, though he says to stick solely to dodging if all possible. The afternoon passes by practicing dodging punches, kicks, and jabs. He also taught you to anticipate the movements of the enemy and to move accordingly.

“Alright, now how about you use everything I taught you and come at me?” Hoseok challenges with a tilt of his head.

“Just go easy on me,” Charging towards him, you stop dead in your tracks right before. Hoseok’s eyes widened, unsure of what you were planning. ‘Here we go,’ Using that fleeting moment of surprise, you throw a punch barely missing his face. He effortlessly dodges, but that was exactly what you wanted him to do. As he lightly leaned backwards, taking a step behind him to balance himself. ‘Now!’ There was always this brief instant before someone balances themselves that they are the most vulnerable to a pin-down.

Just as your fist comes to its destination, placing your other hand onto his upper chest, at the base of his neck, you launch all your weight off the pads of your feet. Almost jumping while running straight into him. And the momentum is more than enough to push him down and just as he taught you pressed your right leg onto his torso, effectively pinning him down. ‘I never thought I’d ever have to use this,’ On your way down you balled your hands into fists, as soon as you landed on the ground, using all your weight grinding your knuckles into his chest right on his ribs.

A sharp cry of pain leaves Hoseok’s lips before he flips you, switching your positions, he pinned your hands above your head and his knee painfully digging into your stomach.

“Hoseok! That hurts! Ah, Hoseok!” Screaming in pain, you call out his name. You shriek when he doesn’t hear you and applies more pressure to his knees. At your howl, the two men standing by jumped to their feet, both calling out the older male’s name.

“Hoseok!”

“Hoseok hyung!”

“Huh? Wha?” The call of his brothers broke him from whatever trance he had been, as he breathlessly blinks when he looks down and sees you orbs glazed with tears, he immediately jumps off you. “(Y/n)! I’m so sorry! Are you alright?!” He asks you, gently helping you sit up.

“(Y/n), are you okay?” Jeongguk asks, worry enveloping his voice.

“What the fuck happened back there?!” Jimin’s voice thunders as he rushes to your side, pulling you into his chest. Groaning, you wrap your arms around his waist, burying your head into the nape of his neck. Your body in too much pain to register your actions, but instinctually curling around Jimin’s warmth.

“I一 I don’t know,” He stammers, his eyes flying in all directions as he tried to figure that out himself. “I一 I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry (Y/n), I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just, I’m sorry,” His head lowers.

“It’s okay, I’m fine. It just hurt at the moment was all. I’m fine now,” Your voice, shaky partly from the pain and partly because of the adrenaline coursing through your veins. Jimin’s hold tightens when he hears your shaky assurance.

“Well, make sure it never fucking happens again!” The mafia boss harshly chides the older male.

“I’m sorry (Y/n). I didn’t mean to hurt you,” He apologizes for the umpteenth time. “But uh, what was the move?” He asks, barely meeting your eyes.

“Oh, I should be apologizing to you too, I’m sorry, it probably hurt didn’t it?” Still tucked underneath Jimin’s head you speak to the older male. And Hoseok nods a ‘yes’ to your question. Not bothering to move from your position you explain to the men where you had learned that move. “It was something I learned during my residency,”

“One time a prisoner who had apparently fainted without reason was brought into the ER, I wasn't stationed there or anything. I was just leaving the hospital when they brought in the prisoner and that’s when one of the ER doctors did what I did to the prisoner,” You say, “It turned out the prisoner tried using fainting as a means to escape, and I guess the doctor knew he was faking it and used that move on him. The prisoner jumped, yelling in pain. So, yeah, that’s where I learned it,”

“Wow, seriously,” Jeongguk’s eyes wide in amazement.

Jimin relaxed ever so slightly when a soft chuckle left your lips. “Alright, let’s go inside, you’re done for today,” He declares, looking down to you.

“I’m fine, really. How about a quick break instead?” You suggest.

“No, you’re fucking done for the day, you can get back on it tomorrow, but for today you’re done” The silver-blonde male repeats himself, his tone lower in a warning.

“Fine,” Grumbling, you comply with the male. Hissing in pain, you slowly stand with Jimin’s support. ‘Oh, that’s definitely gonna bruise,’

“Come one let’s go inside,” The mafia boss calls to the group, already gently leading you towards the house.

“You did really well for a first-timer (Y/n),” Hoseok praises, as the group makes their way back into the house. Thanking him for the compliment, you followed the three men into the living room through the glass door that connected the gardens to the living room.

“So, what do you want fo一”

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)! Where is she?!” A panicked voice booms throughout the room.

Your head snaps toward the direction of the distressed voice. And a distraught Jiyoung comes barreling into the living room with a little girl limp in his arms, followed by an equally distraught woman behind him.

Seeing the motionless child in Jiyoung’s arms, the doctor within you vaults into action, the aches of your muscle forgotten as you attend to your patient. “Put her on the sofa,” You instruct, taking her pulse and feeling for her temperature. Her pulse was much slower than what was deemed normal for a child especially at rest. Her face was flushed and you could see slight swelling on the apples of her cheeks and eyelids. ‘Is this?’ Acting on a hunch you gently examine the skin around her arms and neck. And sure enough, red angry hives dotted her flushed skin.

“She’s having an allergic reaction. Is she allergic to anything, foods or insects or something?” You ask the two adults that had brought her in.

“I一 I was showing them the gardens and she got stung by a bee. But she was fine right after that, she was crying but awake,” He explained. “And we were heading back to treat the sting when she suddenly collapsed,”

“Is she allergic to bees?”

“Not that we know of,” The woman answers.

“So, she’s never been stung before?” The parents shake their heads ‘no’.

Then suddenly strangled breaths came from the little girl and you realize the situation had just nose-dived straight into hell. ‘Anaphylaxis’ All the symptoms put together strongly indicate anaphylactic shock.

“An epipen, I need an epipen,” You say. “Jimin, the order. It was supposed to arrive today, right?”

“Uh, Yes,” He answers, eyes fluttering almost as though he were breaking from a trance.

“Where is it? There should be epipens with them,”

“In the doctor's room, everything you ordered was placed in there,” Jimin responds, his honey-brown orbs flickering to the room up the stairs then back to you.

“Do any of you know what an epipen looks like?” You ask urgency laced your voice. “Alright, plan B. We’re moving her to the OR,”

“OR?” Jeongguk parrots, a confusion dancing on his expression.

“The doctor’s room,” Clarifying your words, you instruct Jiyoung to carry Min-cha up to the OR. “Okay, we have to hurry but try to be as gentle,”

“Why? What’s wrong? Is she gonna be okay?” Heiran asks you could hear the dread and fear twisting her voice.

“She’s going into anaphylactic shock, it’s a sever form of an allergic reaction and if it’s not treated as soon as possible it can be life-threatening in some cases,” The woman’s face pales at your words. “But we have the medicine needed upstairs, so let’s move her up there okay?”

She gives a hasty nod and you see the panic in her eyes. “Look, I’m going to do absolutely everything I can, okay?” Sucking in a breath she follows as Jiyoung swiftly yet tenderly carries his daughter into the tiled room. The older male muttered soft reassurance to the unconscious child in his arms, and to himself.

“Put her on the table,” You command. “Jeongguk, Jimin, Hoseok help me look for a box of thick, orange pens with a blue cap like thing on one end. It should say epipens on the box,” You instruct the mafiosos as you rush to the four large boxes scattered on the OR floor and try to rip open the cardboard flaps of the boxes, only to fail.

“Here, let me,” Hoseok offers, guiding you away from the box, he pulls out a knife from his back before using it to cut open the duct tape sealing the card boxes shut.

You give a brief ‘thank you’ before the cardboard flaps fly open and you are digging through the box in search of the medical instrument. ‘This is why we always keep epipens close by,’ Hissing to yourself you sift through the container as quickly and as delicately as your hands would allow.

“Did anyone find anything?” You project your voice steadily and calmly. You really didn’t want to waste time calming down two panicking adults.

“I一 I think I found it,” Jeongguk speaks up and your attention snaps to where he stood, a bright yellow box in his hands.

“Good job, Guk!” Hurrying to him, you ruffle his chocolate-brown locks before tearing the box and dumping out a yellow auto-injection, you hand the box to Jimin before hastily returning to Min-cha’s side.

“Hold her still,” Pulling off the blue safety of the epipen, you instruct the parents.

Pushing the pastel-pink summer dress to slightly expose her thighs, you press the orange end of the epipen into her thigh until you hear a soft click then holding the pen there for the next few seconds.

“The medicine should start taking effect in five to ten minutes,” Easing away from the table you inform the group, taking hold of her wrist to keep track of her pulse. And sure enough within five minutes of administration Min-cha’s tense expression relaxed. You could feel her breathing even and her pulse rising to normal levels. The hives along her upper arms weren’t as angry or irritated as before, and her complexion had returned to its natural shade.

“Alright, I think we’re good,” You see her parents visibly slump at your words. “You can take her back to your room, though I suggest taking her in for an allergy test soon just to be safe. But, for now, just keep an eye on her,” A tired smile curves on your lips as you step back from the family. But Heiran’s soft hold on your hand halts your movements.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” She gives you a teary smile, pulling you into a brief hug.

“Of course,” Nodding to her, you stride to the three men leaning against the cupboards.

“Oow” You wince as you make your way to the men. The adrenaline wearing off from all the excitement, pain shoots through your abdomen. ‘Better grab the ointment now,’ Pulling open the cupboard, you reach for an ointment for bruising.

“Good job,” Jimin praises you, wrapping an arm around your waist as you rest your weight against the cupboard as well.

“Hmm, thank you,” You hum, watching Jiyoung and Heiran leave the room, Min-cah in her father’s hold “We should get going too,”

“That was way too much excitement for one day,” Huffing, you placed the first-aid box on Jimin’s bed.

“You think that was too much,” The mafia boss snorts, slipping off his simple beige sweatshirt.

“Oh? And what exactly is so funny?” Scoffing playfully, you unclip the bandage clip and unwrap the bandages.

“You’ve been in a shootout, made a deal with a yakuza head, not to mention held at gunpoint on multiple occasions and you think today was too much?” Jimin retorts, and you chuckle alongside him.

“Hmm, I’d say a few more days and we can take out the sutures,” You say thoughtlessly, wrapping the fresh gauze around his newly cleaned wound.

Exhausted from the day’s training and the whole incident with Min-cha, you don’t notice the way Jimin’s eyes darken when his chuckle faded.

“You know, we should really get allergy tests done on you guys,” Closing the first-aid box, you put it back where it had been. Jimin simply hums at your suggestion, his honey-brown orbs strangely distant, lost in thought.

An odd discomfort twisted in your chest seeing the somber distance in his usually vibrant eyes. You wracked your brain trying to figure out what could have caused this abrupt change. He was fine just minutes ago, but his mood seemed to sour for reasons you couldn’t name. And try as you might, not a single incident came to mind. Was it something you said or did?

Sighing you decide it’d be best to leave him be for the time being. “Well, good night,” Turning on your heel you intended to speed out the door. But a strong hold around your wrist paired and a gentle yank, pulls you back down onto Jimin’s bed.

“What’s wrong?” You whisper, feeling it inappropriate to raise your voice to anything above that.

“Your injury, what about your injury?”Jimin says softly, his warm breath on the back of your neck.

A tender smile curls on your lips as you shift to face the silver-blond. “Don’t worry about it. It was just a light bruise, the pain’s almost gone anyway,” You assure him.

“But一”

“I’ll be fine Jimin. The absolute worst that could happen is that it might get a little sore tomorrow, okay?” Moving on pure instinct, you cup his right cheek, delicately running your thumb across his impossibly soft skin. “Okay?” You ask him.

“Okay,” Mumbling, he leans into your touch.

With a quiet chuckle, you part from him, “Good night, Jimin,”

“Good night (Y/n)”

Mindlessly staring at the dark ceiling of his bedroom, Jimin replays his words in his head. ‘Held at gunpoint on multiple occasions, huh?’ It was true, you had been at the end of the muzzle of a gun in many circumstances. As a matter of fact, he himself had held you at gunpoint the first time technically the second time he had met you.

He had held many people at the receiving end of the gun more times than he cared to remember. And more often than not those at the receiving end of his bullet, usually received the bullet. Back then he had been fully prepared to do the same to you, but now he couldn’t even imagine you with a small cut.

When had this started? When did you become someone to him? When had he started caring about you? Was it when he showed you his mother’s garden? When he made lemon balm tea with you? Or was it when you had fallen asleep in his room?

Wetting his lips with his tongue Jimin thought back to the time when Haewon had put a gun to your temple. He recalled the burning rage and the bitter-cold fear that flowed throughout his body, like molten lava and fridge ice both running through his veins at the same time.

His exact memories of the event were fuzzy and hazy, aside from the image of Haewon holding a gun to your head, everything else was nothing more than a blur, moving color in the background. He remembered his brain was working a mile a minute, thinking of any and every way of getting you out of the situation safely, unharmed. He didn’t remember breathing the whole time you had been held captive.

He couldn’t explain it, these inexplicable rushes of emotions. The elation and contentment he felt whenever he would see you happy. The sheer satisfaction he felt when he was the one responsible for the smile on your delicate lips, just as it did when your expression lit up after he had complimented you. This unsettling feeling that twisted his gut when you were upset, like the time you thought you wouldn’t have rose hips for your tea. That brutal fear that ran across his body when you were captured had been the main reason why he had you learning self defense, so you would know how to handle yourself, so he wouldn’t have to feel that fear again. But those weren’t the only incidents of strange feelings. Like today, he recalled the unadulterated rage he felt when Hoseok had brought you pain, a similar kind of anger he would feel if someone were to hurt one of his brothers but somehow different, this was hotter, brighter .

Turning to his side, Jimin clutched at the pillow beside him, resisting the sleep that was threatening him. And though he hadn’t done much, he felt waves of exhaustion crashing into him as he lay in bed. ‘Just what the hell is going on here?’ His last thought resounded in his head as sleep finally pulled him under.

“Not bad, (Y/n). If you keep that up, we could probably even start you on firearms training,” Jeongguk comments as you tried to catch your breath.

“Tell me something,” The younger hums acknowledging your words.

“If we had a training room with air conditioning and mats all along,” You say, “Then why haven’t we been training in here?! Why didn’t we train in here yesterday? Or the day before that? Or the day before… the day before?” You raise your voice, not enough to cause a commotion, just enough to get a point across.

“Because,”

“Because?”

“Because it’s good for you,”

“So Hoseok had me running in that kind of blistering heat and was throwing me around on the grass because it was good for me?” Your voice, calm as a peaceful river. Or an ocean before a storm.

“Yeah…” The brunette sweats as he quickly changes the subject. “A一anyways, are you excited for the gala,”

“Hoseok’s a better teacher than you,”

“Why you,” Jeongguk growls as he tackles you into the ground before softly brushing his fingertips along your sides.

Immediately you regret your taunt as Jeongguk mercilessly tickles you. Your laughter resounds throughout the room as you beg for the chocolate-haired male’s forgiveness.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please stop,” Shrieking a giggle you plead for his mercy. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please. Ha, ha,”

Jeongguk relents with a giggle of his own, moving off of you, he gives you a mischievous bunny smile. As you wipe tears from your little fit, returning his smile with a grin of your own.

“So,” Sitting up you speak. “What are the galas like?” Brushing your hand though your hair, your question.

“It’s nice, I mean the food’s actually really good. And since a different family hosts the gala each year, it became kind of like a competition of who has the better venue and better food,” Shuffling to where you were seated, he plops down beside you.

“Oh? That sounds kinda fun,” You muse, criss-crossing your legs.

“It is,” He continues. “I mean the foods great, it’s the company that’s shit,”

“The company?” A questioning brow rises on your face as you gesture him to continue.

“Yeah,”. His expression transforms that of disdain. As forgotten anger churns in his gut as he remembers the wench of a woman that had managed to ruin nearly all events Bangtan attended. “Her name’s Hae Seulgi,”

“Does she bother you or something?”

“No, well, yes. It happened a year ago or so, her and Jimin hyung, well, they used to… have an unofficial relationship,” He pauses to find the appropriate words.

A soft pang stabs at your chest as you listen to the younger male speak. ‘He was in a romantic relationship... Of course, he was in a relationship Like any normal person in their early twenties. Obviously,’ Nibbling on your lower lip you ignore the sharp prick you felt.

“So like dating?” Running your fingers through your hair you ask. The younger male’s bunny nose scrunches as he thinks of better words to explain their situation.

“Uh, no. It was more, well…” Pausing once again, he says, “Physical,”

“Friends with benefits?” The pain spreads, like a sunflower blooming at dawn

“Uh, I guess, something like that,” Jeongguk wasn’t entirely sure as to how he would fully explain their somewhat complicated relationship. And technically both parties did benefit, in more ways than one.

“I see, is it like awkward with her or something?” You question, your gaze never fully meeting him. Jeongguk scoffs at your question. He’d be a happy camper if it were so simple.

“No, she’s just a bitch,” His voice flat as he explined. “And clingy, so clingy,”

“Even though hyung ended things.She basically latches onto Jimin hyung every chance she gets,” Making exaggerated movements with his arms, he enthusiastically tells you about this Hae Seulgi character.

“Oh?”

“Yeah! And she has the gall to order us around like she’s the boss,”

“Well then, seems like we’ll have to give her a present,” An impish grin curls on your lips. If she had caused so much anguish to her dear friend, then it was only right to return the favor, and you had to do it in a way even those who were looking wouldn’t be able to catch.

“What?” Jeongguk’s head snaps to your direction, and an equally wide grin curves onto his face. “I smell mischief,”

“Oh? I smell flowers,”

#bts mafia au #Mafia au #Mafia Boss Jimin x reader #Mafia jimin #mafia jungkook #Mafia Yoongi #Mafia Jin #Mafia Namjoon #Mafia Hoseok #mafia taehyung #Purple Irises #Doctor reader kind of #BTS #Jimin x reader #Park Jimin x reader #mafia! jimin x reader

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objection-argumentative · 3 years

Text

Soulmates Part 6

Masterlist!

I know his dad is already dead in the show, but I want him alive for the drama. if you have any ideas or feedback, please let me know

I hope you’re enjoying it!

Kelsey eyes fluttered open at 5:50 am; she could feel Rafael staring down at her. "you know if you take a picture, it will last longer" Kelsey smiled up to Rafael over sweetly as she got to throw the statement right back into his face. He chuckled lightly. "Don't worry, dulce chica, I intend to. I have to go soon. I have to get ready for work and change my suit." Kelsey nodded and snuggled back into the older man "just five more minutes." Rafael kissed her temple "baby, I need to get going. My uber is ten minutes away from your apartment, and we have a busy day at work." The couple got out of bed. Kelsey took her robe off the bathroom door and tied it around herself, and brushed her teeth while Rafael got dressed back into last night's clothes.

Kelsey walked out of the bathroom to Rafael; he was buttoning up his coat. The young detective pulled him into a warm embrace. "I know I am going to see you in a few hours, but I don't want you to go." "I know neither do I chica dulce" Rafael kissed her temple and removed himself from her embrace. "My uber is here, baby. I will see you soon." Kelsey nodded her head as he exited her apartment.

At 8:50 am, Kelsey walked through from the lift to her desk. She didn't have time to get her usual coffee order as she decided to have a bath instead of a shower; because of this decision, she didn't have time to do her makeup or grab herself a coffee. Kelsey felt self-conscious because she didn't have any of her makeup on, and she hadn't had her daily caffeine fix.

Just as Kelsey got to her desk, an arm came round from the back of her and produced her vanilla latte "one vanilla latte that is far too sweet to be called coffee for a sweet girl" she turned around, and he was grinning from ear to ear. Rafael placed a kiss on Kelsey's lips that turned heated very fast; they pulled away from each other as soon as they heard the catcalls from the squad. The couple smirked at each other "I think we have an audience counselor." she whispered to the older man as she took the coffee cup from Rafael's hand. Kelsey turned back to her desk to turn on her laptop just as the ADA stepped away from her.

*7 pm that evening*

"Excuse me, are you a detective? I want to report an assault on my daughter's behalf. My name is Mrs. Emily Junave" an older white woman with ginger hair approached Kelsey's desk. "yes, ma'am, I am. How about you make yourself comfortable over there on one of those leather seats, and I will grab my partner, and we can discuss the assault."

Kelsey and Rollins followed the older woman to the seats and sat down; " I'm detective Kelsey Hardy, and this is Detective Amanda Rollins, so you say that your daughter may have been assaulted." "Yes, that's is correct. Katie has been feeling very unwell recently, and I took her to the doctor's office this morning, and we have just found out she is 14 weeks pregnant," the older woman explained. "Does Katie have a boyfriend that could be the father of her unborn child?" detective Rollins questioned "No, there aren't any significant men in her life; both her grandfathers died before she was born, and my husband left Katie and me when she was three years old, and Katie doesn't have a boyfriend; she isn't allowed." "Mrs. Junave, how old is Katie?" Kelsey asking cautiously, feeling like there is something she is missing "Katie is 25; we were going to have a big party to celebrate." Both of the detectives looked at each other and looked back at the older woman in front of them. "Mrs. Junave, did Katie tell you that she has been assaulted?" Kelsey cocked her head to the side as she waited for the older lady reply "No, she didn't, but I know that Katie didn't willingly have sex with anyone." the older woman looked between the two blonde detectives and realized that she wasn't getting anywhere. The two detectives believed that she was just an overprotective mama bear. "You don't believe me, do you? I know my daughter couldn't consent to sex. If you don't think I'm telling the truth, come and find out for yourself."

The older lady took off down the corridor with the detectives hot on her heels. The three women stop at the wooden benches in a nearby hall. When they got to the wooden benches, they could see a young larger girl sat down. She faced the window so nobody could see her. Mrs. Junave crouched down to be level with her daughter; "Katie, can you say hello to the nice detectives?" Katie turned around and faced the two blonde women. Rollins and Kelsey looked at each other, shocked as they didn't expect Katie to be Down syndrome. "Hello," Katie replied bluntly. "Hi Katie, My name is Amanda, and this is Kelsey. We are going to help you." Mrs. Junave ushered Katie up and held her hand "well, if you excuse me, detectives, Katie has had a long day, and it's her bedtime now. We will come in tomorrow morning to answer your questions and pass along any information that you need." Like that, the mother and daughter were heading towards the exit, ignoring the detective's calls to bring them back.

"Rollins, Hardy, what we got?" Captain Cragen asked as he came out of his office. "25-year-old Katie Junave, She has been brought in by the mother as she is 14 weeks pregnant. The mother claimed she had been raped as she isn't allowed a boyfriend or has any significant males in her life." Rollins answered "so we have a very delusional mother thinking her little girl is innocent and pure, and then all of a sudden she finds out she is pregnant, which shatters that idea, and now she is crying rape?" Rafael walked from the bullpen to the desks to hear about the new case." "Counselor, it's not like that. The girl is down syndrome which is tricky because we don't know what level she is or what happened. We just spoke to the mother, and we briefly met Katie before she was whisked off for bedtime." Kelsey spoke with frustration in her voice towards the mother.

Kelsey sat down at her desk to type up the notes from the disclosure made by Mrs. Junave. Rafael came up behind her and started kneading the Knots out of her neck "why don't you finish up your notes, and you can come to my apartment. I will cook, we can have some wine and watch trashy tv. We could even stop by your apartment for an overnight bag?" "That sounds amazing. Give me an hour to finish up, and I will meet you at my apartment." Rafael could burst with happiness right now. "Okay, dulce chica, I'm going to my office to drop these files off and go to the market to pick supplies. I will see you in an hour."

Kelsey finished up and headed home; as she walked through the door, she could see her roommate Joanne on the couch watching some documentary. "Who were you sneaking out of the apartment this morning?" Joanne quizzed "My soulmate Rafael Barba, which happens to be my squads ADA at work." Joanne looked at her in disbelief "You have a soulmate bond?" kelsey rolled up her sleeve and showed her roommate her scar. "I'm so happy for you, Kels. You deserve to be happy in life and make your own choices. Promise me ill get to meet him soon, and we can have a girl's night to discuss him" Kelsey laughed at her best friend. "Of course we can. We can discuss all the nitty-gritty details over cocktails, but right now, I need to pack an overnight bag as I am spending the night at his place."

Kelsey walked to her bedroom and packed a bag for herself. She added her makeup and toiletries bag with her clothes and PJs. Kelsey zipped the bag up and placed it on the floor. Just as she stood straight, Kelsey saw him lent up against the door frame. He then made his way over to her and pulled her in for a chaste kiss. "Hey baby, uber is downstairs if you're ready" she nodded her head and grabbed her bag. Leaving the apartment, she said goodbye to Joanne, and they both made their way downstairs.

Kelsey and Rafael were cuddling on the couch with a glass of white wine each, relaxing in each other's company. All of sudden, there was pounding on his front door. It was as if the person's life depended on being in the apartment. Rafael opened the door, fully intending to shout at the individual who was ruining his perfect evening. But as the door swung open and two furious older women stormed into the apartment.

They didn't even see Kelsey sitting on the couch in their rage. "Rafi, he has outdone himself this time. He is moving back home from Miami. He is also getting married-she is nineteen," the younger woman of the pair fumed at Rafael. Then it was the older one's turn to speak. "He wants a second chance of a relationship with you. as if you would leave everything in the past and forget to play happy families with him and his child bride." both women were looking at Rafael expectantly for a reaction. he sighed heavily. "Mami, Abuela, would you like a glass of wine?" both women shrieked. "WINE! YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS,". he sighed again, and kelsey rubbed his back "nothing that man does ever surprises me anymore. My father is a law of himself, and we are all dolls in his theatre. If he wants to reach out, let him it won't last long like his marriage. He will be back onto better things soon."

The two women look defeated."I guess your right, Rafi. He makes me mad that he lives likes this with no consequences." The older woman spoke. The younger woman hasn't stopped staring at Kelsey since she rubbed her son's back. "Who are you?" Rafael gives his mother a warning look " This is Miss Kelsey Hardy. She is a new detective with the Manhattan Special Victims Unit and so happens to be my soulmate." he then rolls his sleeves up and shows the room his scar; there is a deafening silence.

#rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba fic #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba #rafael barba smut #rafeal barba fluff #law and order special victims unit

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aphspain-pure · 4 years

Text

“I’m so sick of lying. I have to tell you...”

@hetaliamondaychallenge July 27 challenge.

Category: Fanfiction.

Pair: EngSpa, UkSpa.

Words: 3.391

Genre(s): Drama, a little of suspense, Romance.

- Fuck, my head… -England grumbled, while trying to sit and wake up.

He stretched, trying to push away the terrible headache produced by the hangover –that reminded to him the extreme last night. There we go again; a horrible ache attacked his poor head again, causing him to shrink in pain. He clicked the tongue.

He couldn’t remember anything.

Suffering from the remaining alcohol in his organism, he –hardly- stood and looked around. Sighing in relief, he concluded that this was his hotel room, so at least he reached it in one piece and didn’t slept over in some ditch.

Entering the bathroom he looked to his reflection in the mirror. He looked as horrible as he actually felt inside, and was pretty obvious that he had gotten drunk until he had passed away. He sighed again, his headache intensified every time he barely tried to remember the last night.

Then, trying to figure out something, he looked to his body. He was totally naked –even if he never slept that way-, so he could possibly say he had passed the night in company. He also could say that he had gotten into some fight due to the little and dispersed wounds he could find all along his arms and torso. That didn’t surprise him; he normally picked those fights on purpose, preferably with drunken idiots like his brother Scotland, the frog or the odious deutsche.

He took a shower and rapidly got into his meeting suit in order to get prepared for the meeting that was going to be held that morning. He tried to remember something again, only to be attacked by a new wave of punctures to the head.

He gave up, and left the room.

{ . . . }

When he first landed on the building where the meeting was going to be held, he felt something estrange right away. It looked like all the eyes were on him, and like if the nations were murmuring things about him. He tried to look serious and impassive, but when he noticed the rare attitude of America, he couldn’t help but ask.

- What’s going on?

The United States froze and looked back to him, nervous. – You don’t remember?

England grumbled; frowning his famous and enormous eyebrows. – I don’t. I really don’t have a clue of what in the hell could have I done to create this atmosphere! –he suddenly sighed, and said, in a very low volume-. Tell me. Was I that bad?

Question that had a remarkable effect on the other country, that nearly started laughing.

- You were absolutely insane, man! I hadn’t seen you that way since you were a pirate and were currently drunk of whisky or Ron. –he said, giving friendly punches to the older-. Last night you were pretty aggressive and susceptible, you drove yourself mad pretty easy, too. You broke lots of glasses, bottles and wooden chairs, and even Germany, Denmark and Sweden couldn’t afford to stop you.

England massaged his temples. – That sounds hard.

Japan entered the room, and the two of them immediately greeted him. – Ohayo gosaimasu for you too, America-san, Igirisu-san. –he said back, looking right to England a moment later-. Do you feel better this morning, Igirisu-san? Last night you looked troubled by the alcohol…

Shaking his head, he slowly laughed in a professional and a bit ashamed way. – I’m sorry for showing that part of me so extremely this time, Japan. I can barely remember anything.

That last confession made Japan freeze. – You don’t remember anything?

Hearing the same question again annoyed the ached man a little. – I really don’t. What’s so bad about it? I don’t think I did nothing far from the normal. –after this statement, America sweated a bit.

- That’s… not…

- Ah, true. I got a chick this time, I can tell that far. –England expressed, and then the other two got pale. They suddenly quieted, kind of uncomfortable.

He clearly noticed that.

- ‘Cause I did found a chick, didn’t I?

The other two looked at each other with a confidential and concerned look in their eyes.

- That’s… not completely wrong, I guess. –America commented, suspicious. England started to lose his patience.

- I’ve woken up naked and with this… “satisfaction” that the body has after having a good-sex evening, you know what I mean?

Japan’s face suddenly became extra red and started steaming from the nose like a excited bull. He looked overheated and extremely shy about it, and England didn’t get a thing.

America, awkward, touched the back of his head uncomfortably laughing. – Why don’t you ask about that and the rest of the night to someone else…? –and pointing to some place, announced-. He can probably help you better.

England thought that all of that was pretty odd. And it became even odder when he followed the pointed direction and found out the depreciable frog there. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. Was it a joke? He looked again to the former direction and the other two had faded. They weren’t there, and the rest of the people in the room still looked at him and murmured, making the situation even estranger for moments.

It looked like he didn’t have a choice. If he wanted to know what was the matter, why all the people was acting so suspicious and who it was this mysterious nation he put in his bed last night, he had to go and ask France for an explanation. A grimy feat that would have to be accomplished if he wanted to know that truth he didn’t even remember.

He then leaded to the naughty Frenchie.

{ . . .}

When France felt the aggressive touch of someone on his shoulder, he actually felt the shiver that came with it. He knew who it was even before turning around.

- What can I do for you, my most appreciated neighbour? –he had said, uneasy for some reason.

- Don’t give me the stupid shit and talk. I want to hear everything.

France tried to remain calmed. – Everything about what my friend?

- Don’t act as if you knew nothing! About last night. Last N-I-G-H-T. I’m giving you five seconds to speak. –and that created the same well-known answer.

- Wait a moment. Are you seriously telling me that you don’t remember?

And that made England furious.

- That’s true, I DON’T REMEMBER! What with it!? This has happened thousands times before, I don’t get why-

- That’s the problem, mon ami. This time you’ve crossed the line.

- What?

And at that very moment, when the door opened again and a new group of nations came inside, England instinctively noticed a single one of them, as his heart stopped for a second and a vortex of memories fell upon him like an elated waterfall.

In the middle of a fight he saw a certain person and started provoking him into the fight. He succeeds. They punched and kicked each other, and verbal insults flew between them rapidly. He likes to say to him “Invincible armada” ironically while grinning, while the other calls him “eyebrow bastard” with a perfectly pronounced Spanish accent. This detail, in extreme, made him lose his control and fell and fell into his locked emotions.

His apple-like green eyes opened a little bit more, at the same time France’s voice said. – You picked up a fight with Spain on purpose. You were very drunk and started acting like the little punk pirate you were centuries ago. –and he knew, he remembered that.

And more.

More memories were coming to him.

It was him, nearly laid over Spain, who was damning in Spanish. He had always known, but he found those insults so damn hot that he couldn’t help but stare at his face, hypnotized. The dark green eyes that sparkled with the color of alcohol looked back at him and he knew he was lost. He won the fight, like years ago, but the war was dominated by the other. He was irremediably charmed by the Spaniard, like always, like ever.

Before even knowing it, he was kneeling down and leading both of the other’s hands to his lips. He then, completely serene even in his drunken position, said it.

“Marry me, Spain.”

- You did ask him to marry you, England. To another nation. In front of everyone. –France continued, clearly anxious about it-. This is pretty serious, I bet you know it very well. –he looked concerned, but serious too-. Marrying by our own is completely forbidden between us, nations. Also, this is Spain we’re talking about, you’re his archenemy. This was a shock for all of us, even if I’d known for a long time that you’re to the bone for him…

- W-what are you talking about!? T-this is… a drunken episode, that wasn’t me. I truly don’t…

- Don’t even try to justify yourself. Onii-san knows pretty well the truth.

England burned in anger, but didn’t deny anything, preferring to inquire into his memory to take out the rest.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t go on and remember the rest.

That’s why, embarrassed to the quick, looked away for a moment and lowly said. – And what?

France didn’t understand him. – “What” what? –making England more awkward.

- What did Spain… -he coughed in his hand, and looked away again-. …answer?

The French smile extended a bit, while his eyes closed and shrugged.

- He froze for a moment, and then he ran away.

- WHAT!? That’s all!?

- I personally was waiting for a slap or a kick to the gut too, but that was the only thing he did after such a confession.

- I’m killing you right know if you don’t shut up, you condemned frog-

But before feeling the freezing sensation of the English punch, France showed his bare hands and nearly screamed. – But you quickly ran after him, so I assume the party went on in another place…! -what England had already assumed. He let France go, while frowning.

- I can’t… remember.

The other crossed his arms, a few feet of security away. He commented. – If you don’t remember a thing, the other person that certainly knows what happened then is over there. –pointing that way with his chin.

And in the end of that way there he was.

Spain.

- If you want to know everything, he’s your man.

Edgy, England couldn’t help swallowing.

...

But, then, he started walking forward.

Till reaching the place in which Spain was sitting. Spain was talking to South Italy and Belgium, relaxed. He hawked in order of calling for his attention.

- Spain.

The man froze for a brief moment, and then faced him, with the same neutral face he always had around him.

- England.

England couldn’t take his gaze apart from the other’s eyes, which looked at him directly. His heart started beating at the same time his memory started functioning.

He didn’t know what to say.

He then noticed Spain looked as awful as himself –result of the hangover- and decided starting an easy conversation. – How are you? You don’t look so good. –he said.

And he immediately regret saying that when the beautiful green eyes looked away and Spain smiled with a fake smile of courtesy.

- I’m a little bit sore. You know, I’m not very used to taking it from the back, so now I’m suffering taking it that hard last night… -he said, calmed, while England’s eyes opened like plates and the new wave of memories hit him in the face.

Spain’s voice. His rudeness while kissing and throwing him into his bed. The hands that touched him and pulled his hair in ecstasy. The well-built tanned body that moved under his touch. The necessity in every word and ask from both parts, the green eyes that looked into each other before England devoured the other’s mouth with anxiety. The bruises and bite marks that he expanded all along his perfect neck. The pleasure and delight that filtrated in every part of his skin and soul. The words he had said to him in a desperate pray in his ear…

The red became the predominant colour in his face, reaching to paint his pale neck and ears too. The exploded like a steam engine, absolutely embarrassed after remembering how, after following Spain out of the party room, they screamed at each other, anger started transforming into passion, and end up making out in his hotel room.

After remembering the previous scenes with France he had thought in the possibility that Spain had been that mysterious night partner he had had, that’s true.

But having it suggested so roughly by Spain himself and, afterwards, remembering each moan and prayer, had been another history.

He stared, nearly in panic, at those pine eyes intensely. Right after, he coughed. – We were very drunk. –he only said, trying to avoid that charming gaze-. I was drunk.

Spain’s eyes momently looked shadowed. But he maintained his fake and polite smile with honour and made his response calmed. – Yeah. You truly were drunk. I know better than thinking things that cannot be.

This last statement shocked England’s awareness.

He had known this man who used to be an empire for a long, long time. He had even been, once, married to him; even if it was pathetically short and then leaded to war. So, given this situation, he knew lots of things about him; lots and lots. And one of them, very important, was that Spain hadn’t been made to be a good liar.

He acted polite every time because he had always been very controlled by his government; like at this time, when his eyes trembled with disgust and another kind of emotion while his mouth pressed calmed words out. But he also knew better than that. He could read it as clear as the water.

That’s why he extended his hand to trap Spain’s wrist.

That annoyed the other, apparently. – What do you think you’re doing? Let me go. –England didn’t settle him free, though. He, on the contrary, held him more firmly.

- I don’t want to.

What looked like annoyance suddenly became anger in the Spaniard. He nearly shouted. – What are you playing at, England? Haven’t you have enough just by getting conveniently drunk and saying what you’ve wanted? –he separated his wrist from his touch and stood up violently-. I’ve had enough of your childish game, you hear me? Go joke elsewhere!

And started walking out of the room. A déjà vu from last night.

England didn’t understand it very well, but his headache became worse when he disappeared from his sight. An uncompressible pain went through his chest too, creating a huge hole that took the breath out of his lungs.

He, then, ran after him, under the nearly funny gaze of certain Frenchman that had been observing since the beginning and the rest of the confused and uncomfortable nations.

{ . . . }

Once out, he targeted Spain at a certain distance and called out for him, screaming all kind of things that popped out in his mind.

- I’m sorry okay? I didn’t want last night’s party to become like that for any of us, I too wasn’t aiming for that, you know? –even trying to hide his sickness after that typical tsundere attitude of his-. I guess it must have been impressive to receive that kind of attentions from me being you, but don’t get a hard time, it’s only a coincidence, a bad choice! I didn’t meant it to happen and didn’t feel what it looked. A simple accident, so let’s forget it, okay!? –Spain didn’t stop.

But he did say something, with voice calm as ice.

- You’re a coward, England. –he had said, sufficiently high to let the named hear it. Then, he shouted-. I shall forget this now so, please, let me go. We’ll never talk ‘bout this again so you don’t have to worry about this… slip again. –after hearing that, England froze, even if Spain didn’t notice and went on letting the other man behind-. Are you satisfied with that? I just want this comedy to end so we can quickly go back to ignoring each other...

But England couldn’t hear anymore.

It’s true. He was a coward.

He had known since ever. Even it was clear for people like the tedious frog. He was simply afraid; afraid of letting the truth out, of saying what he really thought and freely feeling what he actually felt. Afraid of saying sober the overwhelming truths that he could only afford to let out while drunk. Afraid of doing at the daylight what he only had managed to perform under the cover of the night. Afraid of opening his heart and feeling alive once and for all.

Afraid of being rejected.

And now, while being actually rejected thanks to being a coward, he wasn’t, for the first time in his long lifetime, frightened of being audacious.

He started taking a step forward, and then a second one, and then he started running for the nearly lost target. While running towards him, he cried out for him to notice.

For him to listen what he had to say.

- I’ve always been proud of my eloquent chat and talent for making convoluted conversations; I bet you know it pretty well! But now … I’m going to let that apart to openly and frankly say what I want. I’m so sick of lying…! I have to tell you… -and stopped, leading his hand to his chest firm and gloriously.

- I love you! –he shouted, in the middle of the corridors, his voice hard and decided as thunder-. You hear me? I’m absolutely in love with you!! Since ever! What I did to you last night was my inner me expressing what my coward self couldn’t. –at some point, Spain had stopped and was standing still without facing him. But England didn’t care anymore. He started walking-. I can’t deny it anymore, I’m crazy about you! It’s all clear now. And I would love repeating what we did yesterday again and again, but totally conscious this time!

Stepping way closer, he even dared to scream. – And I know you love me too!

That made the teared up man to turn around and face him. – How can you be so shamele-…!

- Now that I’m saying everything that’s been hidden from the world I don’t pretend to maintain polite. You love me. As well as I do. You can’t negate it because, even if you try to convince me, your eyes always betray you. You’re enamoured.

- So what! –he suddenly broke-. You like playing with me? We’re old enough to know that this isn’t anything but a play. A tragicomedy!

- Marry me, Spain.

So green eyes paused.

Spain’s shock wasn’t as yesterday’s but, anyways, he did maintain quiet for a while.

Then, he said. – You must be kidding.

- I am not. –England replied.

- I don’t believe you.

- A great decision, I must admit.

- God will certainly not accept this.

- I’ve always been kind of heretic, anyway.

- You think you’re witty, isn’t it?

- I usually like to think it, to be sincere.

- Oh, just shut up! You put me on my nerves with so much paraphernalia! –he said, and directly looked at England-. Do you love or not?

A pretty rare smile crossed the English face like a phantom. – I’m suddenly not ashamed of saying it out loud, my lord. I do. I love you thousands. –and Spain rolled eyes.

- Quit the roleplay and kiss me then, you silly brat! –he complained, blushing for moments-. You’ve taken your time to admit it.

Getting close, blushing the same amount, England couldn’t do anything but complain in a non-sincere way. – C-could you stop with that? I could reconsider it if you-

A hand getting his way all along his nape and a pair of lips closing against his made him finally shut up.

Then, he melt while his arms passed through the waist and back of the other man there, who couldn’t help but murmur Spanish words against his lips that made England’s heart beat faster.

He had been sick this morning. Sick thanks to the alcohol in his veins, and later sick of lying.

He was now getting sick again.

Absolutely lovesick.

#hetaliamondaychallenge #spuk #engspa #ukspa #aph spain #aph england #aph france #aph america #aph japan #yaoi #hetalia

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perseusjackson-jasongrace · 4 years

Text

His Blood Runs Gold IV

Percy is a God: Part IV

Here’s my masterlist for the next part and my other stuff

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

we are products of war

and enemies of peace

we are universes finally standing still

ready, ready, ready

to destroy us all

this time

there is only power baby boy

and i will be brutal.

“Hey,” Jason said faintly, tapping the bubble.

Percy stood from his perch on the rock and waved goodbye to the school of fish he had been talking to. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I haven’t slept that well in months.”

Percy produced an immortal grin at that, “You hungry?”

“Starved, you got any of those cookies?”

“You sure you don’t want a proper meal first?”

“Where are we gonna get a proper meal from? My backpack has some lonely granola bars and possibly a fast over-ripening banana.” His eyes furrowed in confusion.

The God simply smiled, “What do you feel like?”

Jason gave him a look but said, “Breakfast burrito?”

He laughed, flicking his wrist and before the demigod could blink a foil-wrapped cylinder appeared in the bubble.

Mouth hanging open, Jason grabbed the burrito and unwrapped it before staring between the God and his breakfast like his head might explode.

“I promise it’s safe to eat.”

“You can just- you just?” The blonde was at a loss for words.

“Believe it or not, it isn’t really handy now. When I was a demigod, I would have loved to have that neat little trick but these days I don’t need to eat much.”

“Well if nothing else I’m keeping you around for that alone.” Jason mumbled around a mouthful of food.

“So you’re just gonna use me for your own selfish needs?”

“Mhmm it may be nice to use the gods for once, instead of the other way around.”

“Fair enough,” He shrugged, and wondered when he’d stop feeling the blow of that statement, uttered so many times by his friends and former camp-buddies alike.

He knew how they felt, hell he had felt like that once; but since becoming one of those gods it was hard not to feel hollowed out. He knew the half-bloods wouldn’t outright curse them, but Percy still heard all their bitter thoughts, He wasn’t sure if it was because he was the god for demigods that the whispers followed him around like a ringing in his head.

Jason’s voice pulled him back to the present.

“Anyway, thank you for the breakfast,”

“Uh yea no problem. So, I was thinking about the prophecy and the direction of the north star,”

“Yea what about it?”

“We’ve been heading south and if my coordinates are correct, we should reach the equator in a day or two”

“Are you saying we’re headed in the wrong direction?” Blue eyes widened.

“No, I think your direction is good, I do think, however, that the arrow isn’t on land. I think it’s in the ocean just before the equator.”

“Why there?”

“You can only see the north star in the northern hemisphere, after the equator it disappears. The further south you go the lower on the horizon it is, which means at some point it looks like it’s on the horizon or close enough.”

“So, you’re saying the arrow sits underneath the star at its lowest point?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Okay that’s good news.” Jason took a deep breath, raking a hand over his face. “I guess we just wait for night and keep following the star.”

‘Actually…” Percy grinned,

“You have a plan?”

“If we just have to get to the equator, I can take us there now.”

“How would you know when we’re there?”

“I know the coordinates at any time when I’m at sea. Son of Poseidon and all that.”

“Well I’m convinced.” Jason nodded, thoughts fluttering behind his eyes. “How are we doing this?”

“I think it’s time to call in a friend.”

With a low whistle, that defied the laws of nature, because how on earth do you whistle underwater, the God whipped a dazzling smile over his shoulder.

“Do I want to know what you’ve invited to the party?”

“You’ll see.”

Just then the water rushed around them. When the clouds of sand and swirling water disappeared a beautiful, iris-coloured beast revealed itself, along with a cyclops already barreling towards them.

“Brother!”

They slammed into each other and Percy was grateful for his godly bones, because he’s sure his mortal ones wouldn’t have survived that collision.

“Hello Tyson, how are you?” He laughed in relief, in comfort.

“I knew I’d see you. A school of firemouth-killfish passed by and said you were around.”

“Thank you for coming. I’m helping Jason and I need Rainbow’s speed.”

“Of course, brother. What are you doing?”

“Jason has a quest to find Eros’ arrows.”

Finally Tyson looked over Percy’s shoulder to see the demigod still wrapped in a bubble, bobbing behind them.

“Jason. I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

“Hello Tyson, how are you?”

“I am good. And you are good?”

“Yes thank you. How’s Ella?”

His brother flushed a red as bright as Corallium.

“She is nice, fine.”

Percy decided to put the poor cyclops out of his misery and focus their attention on the mission at hand.

“Rainbow, can you take us where we need to go?”

The hippocampus gave a noise of agreement and brushed its head along Percy’s arm.

“We must be off,” He said, turning to Tyson.

“When will you be back?” A brown eye blinked in question.

“As soon as Love finds us, I guess,” Percy winked.

It was Jason’s turn to blush the colour of coral, but the god was already looking away, turning to hug his brother.

“I will see you soon Tyson.”

“Goodbye Percy,” and with a wave to Jason the cyclops was gone.

“Alright Jas–“

Percy had felt the deepest senses of fear and love and sadness many times, but never in his twenty years of life had he felt such raging, storm-filled anger. For standing behind an oblivious Son of Jupiter, ready to pounce was a sea creature that probably spawned from the depths of Tartarus itself.

It hadn’t noticed the God, or it wouldn’t even have dared come close to this space.

With a light brush against Rainbow’s side, the hippocampus disappeared. He turned fully, focusing on the beast, hiding himself within the folds of the current. He watched as it slithered out it’s tongue in sickening excitement.

“Jackson you were in the middle of saying something?”

He didn’t bother replying as the creature looked up, finally taking notice of everything other than his prey.

“Hello, found something to enjoy?”

“What?” Jason said

“This fight it not with you Percy Jackson,” It gurgled

Before they could take their next breath, the monster swiped its tail through the bubble and slammed Jason to the ocean floor. Something cracked, the demigod did not rise again.

Percy’s smile was sharp and terrifying.

“That,” He laughed, “Was not very smart.”

With a single movement of his fingers he wrenched the water from the monster’s body.

It seized and gasped, flopping about in the air pocket it found itself in.

“The fight is always with me if it involves my friends,” Malice dripped from the God’s lips.

The monster tried to respond, try to splutter and roar but there was no water in its gills. It gasped and writhed, attempting to escape the air.

Percy simply smiled, darkness gleaming in his green eyes, and watched as the Ketos Troias suffocated.

“Jason slayed you when he was fourteen, just a young demigod, but you decided to come back and oh what a horrible mistake that was,” He wondered briefly if he sounded as manic as he felt, and then decided he didn’t care. “Because now, now you have to deal with me, and I will not make it pretty.”

“I will kill you Percy Jackson,” It rasped.

“You can try.” He laughed, and then spat, “And it’s Lord to you.”

Its eyes widened as Percy revealed his godly form, golden light basking him. With a final roar, the monster turned to dust.

He heard a gasp from below and saw Jason finally coming to it, pushing on the walls of the new bubble Percy had formed around him.

“Are you okay?”

“Feel like I’ve been smacked with a ten-ton sledgehammer and I may have a broken rib but otherwise dandy.”

“Oh good, here’s some ambrosia.” He handed a small square to the demigod who nodded in thanks and gobbled it down.

“Was that the Trojan Sea Monster?”

“Yes, seems it was feeling revengeful.”

“Did you send it back to whatever hole it came from?”

The grin that graced his face could kill mortals, “It’s scattered in the deepest depths of Tartarus. It shouldn’t bother you in this lifetime again.”

“Shall we go then?”

Jason stared at him, and grinned back.

-------------------------------------------------------------

One of the strangest things I’ve ever googled was “type of fish off the Liberian coast” because i needed Tyson to be accurate when he told Percy fish had been talking to him. So yes firemouth-killfish do in fact exist and they do reside in the North Atlantic Ocean. Liberia is around where i pictured the two would be at this point. Anyway just some fun fic A/N’s for ya.

How are you guys finding it? Tell me your thoughts because i am inexplicably in love with Dark!Percy and i need to know if others are too????

Tags (if you want to be added to/ taken off the tag list just let me know, all my channels of communication are open):

@thepersonyourparentswishyouwere @lesbian-peanuts @thegirlwiththegoldenarm @thatis-americas-ass @whatevertakesmyfancy @lucyisblue @lrelikohll @tmifangirl24 @queenkivi @nishlicious-01 @whitelacepants @leydiangelo @urbanpineapplefarmer @queen-of-demons-and-hell

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paraclete0407 · 3 years

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Going to give away all my story-ideas a la George Johnston’s ‘The Fire Sale’ since I feel as if Lucifer has been unleashed against me for the destruction of my flesh that I might learn not to blaspheme -

‘The Winners 2012′

With the prototype of my ‘Three Kings’ ultimate self-idea-hero, the Vice Principal or Ass’t Headmaster forced to play basketball, also something about a novel about violoncello and female self-satisfaction, inner life or pseudo-inner-life and my attack on Harvard people for their emetic unending self-celebration, which turned out to be a sort of Kim Jong Il three-day massacre-banquet + they really have a huge problem with alcohol, rape, at the same time they were right IMHO to be eating blueberries and protein-goop and so on sleeping 2hrs a night. Princeton students doing math in lucid dreams. I too would have but in retrospect I literally methinks I deduce that my bio-parents and Waqas my Paki roommate were trying to give me heart-failure in the cause of sociohistorical justice and/or ‘family tree’ hyper-narcissism. I was watching ‘Reply 1997′ and that song ‘Confession’ but I thought ‘I am gonna one day hang out with my friend again and drive through the NJ woods and it’ll all be alright b/c they are gonna have theirs and I am gonna have mine and in the end they will still be able to follow my lead and feel I was worthwhile.’ ‘Headmaster’s Wife’ something something Robert James Waller bidding for continued relevance after ‘Madison County’ but even in 2012 I just honestly wasn’t that fascinated with women or their hobbies at all. I like the Korean poem that says to look at your spouse’s brow, check homework, share food. Everyone wants a room of their own in which to produce bad art, get worse as a person, do that which others could do better. USFK bases are like huge campuses with super-nice beds and the soldiers all appear to need like 5,000 KCAL per diem or they’ll pass out. I had been in the habit of sleeping bolt-straight till I got here and liquified my form. ‘Winners’ got totally out of hand where the Ass’t Headmaster started cruising around looking for anyone and everyone to talk to and never got what he was up to - never ever ever realized that he could minimize his life and walk away, that he was manager-material at Cryan’s Irish Pub or sth, that the principal really might retire one day or just let him step up, if he didn’t keep trying to ‘discharge responsiblities’ or lay the ground for some super-daughter-figure to fulfill the mission that he had been waiting to incipit; and too, he was sort of a priest to begin with and avoided his vocation for years and decades for reasons unknown. My ex-friend from Harvard bragged about staying up for 36hrs doing something and there was President Obama saying ‘Heyyy Harvard Columbia but I also like flip-flops, chips, Occidental, jackass, fag.’ Obama had such an uneven series of statements. I used to blow up on the radio like 1000000% affirmative action; Thomas Sowell is 10000% right that the Ivies were disillusioning and damaging generation of Blacks who couldn’t read fast enough - therefore, better to go back to K-12 / HS and try to give younger people a general preparedness so that they wouldn’t leave it to mercenary oft CCP-seduced (Vogel) and it turns out oft pedophilic prof’s (Alexander Theroux is in the habit of calling Dershowitz ‘dirt’ though I actually agree with him about a lot and hope that he is still in favor of rule of law at this bizarre hour) to form or confer their identity and bequeath their sense of mission in life...

‘Thanksgiving Day’

Possibly my ‘most characteristic novel’ that predicted me never being understood or read with my own grain at all though it contained terrorist threats basically. Of all Korean pop-music with its numerous melismas in a way he most ‘abject’ was Sunny’s song from ‘Story of Wine,’ ‘Finally Now’ which made me realize actually I was gonna get cut up at all the dinner-parties, all my understandings would be met with anti-understandings, everything I simplified would be complicated, whether I throw rock paper or scissor all my ex-friends from Gov School are throwing CCP massive retaliation deepfake AI bury-the-scholar-alive fireballs. So they drove to the South Mountain Res where the homosexual pederasts are acting pedagogical and ‘adoptive’ and they are sitting there like, ‘Well soon it will be deer-hunting season + Chris Christie was saying how teachers like to make kids’ faces light up + give them indelible memories but under all his generosity of acknowledgment / crediting all the while CC was also saying / dogwhistling / inciting if not demanding or ordering, “Eat the poor,”which Obama was also arguably saying.’

I still like Sunny or did like 18 months ago - Tizzard and friends are mad at Cho Kuk; I tried to defend the governing class though this actually clashed with my own belief in people that came from dirt being best qualified as long as they don’t turn utterly prideful; and I’m a monarchist megalomaniac b/c I thought of Kissinger saying, ‘The illegal we do immediately the unconstitutional takes a while’ which I did not eve n intend to mean ‘Milwaukee antinomianism misrule carnivalesque total inversion of values’ and IZ*ONE were ‘rigged’ (destined), ‘Sunkyu’ is a good safe name that I know of and at the end she is like, ‘He is a loser; I am going back to the party anyway; he belongs in a Cistercian monastery or somewhere; it is not wrong to have monks and nuns and celibate married couples and/or those who wat a long time after marriage to have a child...’

‘Everything’ (Everything 2015 / Everything 2021)

Words never said, ‘I’m everything’ - therefore how can you not play my games and _ _ _. This was such an abject apprehension(?) in my own life; I had an ideal solution to the problem and in those days I actually had no acute anxiety nor did I feel this distance(d) awe from anybody but only a low-level thrumming or basso continuou worry or ‘meditation’ (Purpose-Driven Life). I guess now if someone isn’t asking a clear question it might be beside the point to imagine it’s worthwhile to answer and if somebody proffers you a certainty in any part of speech it is best it is best just to respond or non-respond without ay semblance of personality; deflection; without wanting to add anything or change anyone’s mind b/c in the end they who open their wings prematurely will get shot down all the more; and will also become their own worst enemies at times due to the conceits of ‘my nobility; fallen flower; I was Elect; I was anointed [sth. from ‘Sentimental Education’ abt women’s hearts]’

When I was 15 I started thinking a lot about reality and who is real to whom; my favorite piano-piece though in retrospect I might’ve ust listened to it then moved on with better things was Frederic Chopin’s ‘Berceuse’ op. 57 a.k.a. ‘Lullaby’ though originally it was simply ‘Variations.’ Simple left hand, very testing right hand. Michelangeli made a version in which nothing was thrown away or left to chance and a lot of pianists add a deep D-flat to the last chord which I disagreeith b/c the whole point of not using that is taht in the end it’s not a big deal. Best is Kempff 1946 because it’s utterly affectionate, fatherly, almost forgetful. I had once regarded this version or ‘rendering’ as being Kempff’s message to post-Nazi Germany saying, ‘Dream a new dream for a while.’ His left hand is spelling and his right hand is tracing. I used to make up words for this piece ‘I’m real God can’t you see / to break your shield’ but that was with a different count or tempo than the actual notation. Also, the version I heard first was Idil Biret or someone and they made the left hand cycle or reciprocate with a false completeness like an underlying clock when the essence of the ‘Berceuse’ is that the inner voices form a tolling or droning. I years later turned to the even more violent psychopathic Chopin that gave me hand-tremors and I think it is very bad for humans of which the apex was the last page or so of Nocturne 55-2 which is basically heart-explosion into embers. After going to KR I never wanted to touch a piano again except for anything related to Kempff and would walk around Lake Park, Wahl Street, considering Russia, simplicity, ‘c/Chimes.’ Didn’t then realize George Frost Kennan grew up around there and was considering Russia his whole life. I saw ‘Cat Street’ and was put in mind of a Singaporean market or square where they let songbirds talk to each other but it’s ancient history now. Maybe in future no one will care about cats, birds - I don’t really except I grew up in white trash degenerate Mass. where they burned frogs for fun (I was like 3) and put skull-flag all over their rooms. I oppose Mao sparrow-genocide, am fond of dandelions and the Ku Sang poem about dandelions from ‘Infant Splendor.’ However my generation and the people of that time were arguably over-equipped and in one way over-covered in another under-covered.

Voice in my head saying ‘They want Maoism man.’ But I really did believe in those days that others’ futures were like my own past and I perhaps overestiated my own chance of any future understanding, ‘trust-ness,’ and, either stable interiority or cognizable reliable plain-as-day face-to-face exteriority.

I also read Somerset Maugham’s critiques of ‘the Russian sense of humor’ which I approved of and my mom recently dreamed of the cat running out with his tail burnt.

There are perhaps only so many possible variations or stories and ‘today’s character’ is a real human being in the present moment and placement not just your favorite actress or whatever or whomever that would follow you to the ends of the Earth. I have almost no idea right now whether others want what I want or not; I had fantasized about writing speeches and always taking my family with me on the campaign-airplane which in retrospect is not perforce responsible and might’ve been mental Bidenism. I had only felt that it would or could be good for people in the future / future Man to be aware of one another’s burdens like let your son or daughter know when you’re working really hard instead of playing / representing Santa Dad when you’re really storing up UncleHammer and CrushFather vengeance, whether motivated by presumption and reactionary atavism or by the Will of God in the case of Mr. David James Johnston must be pulverized in to ‘coulisse bright dark tragic chiaroscuro’...In ‘Coming Home Again’ Changrae Lee’s mom was telling him how hard his psychiatric dad worked in graduate school and that is something I believe kids should know but there again what if immgrant young people really do grow up or ‘come up’ with this ‘Minima Moralia’ (Adorno cf. Vatican Censoriate) sense that ‘wrong life cannot be rightly lived,’ a horrific desolate phrase, that existence is a ‘battle life’ and that evth we do right today is a down-payment on wrong tomorrow.

In the ‘diaspora(?)’ of Evangelical Christianity following the passing away of a very famous and beautifully simply and consistent apologist Ravi Zacharias there was a cataclysmic revelation concerning his treatment of masseuses, first in terms of sexual harrassment and later unless it is all ‘fake news’ the discovery of a trove of actual records of abuse. I‘m Reddit ButBothSides relativism but it really almost feels as if there had been the mentality of a ‘treasury of merit’ but I don’t even want to say anything like that. Strange keepsakes! I feel as though ‘everybody deserves to know’ I am pretty certain I could be indicted for sexual harrassment in the Republic of Korea from a specific instant I recall very vividly + it might be good to do so in view of the current society’s determination to stop driving women toward suicide but IDK whether I ough to say that to anyone in Milwaukee b/c around here they’re racists and polyamorists and it’s more CCP paleo-peudo-Confucian mistress-culture where my dad is checking out my girlfriends and orgy and procurement are considered acts of unconditional love(?). Many years ago I looked at the Joongang Daily and say a ‘diptych’ of ‘T-ARA to release new song in November’ and ‘Uhm Taewoong arraigned for solicitation in [’my last stop’]’ + I adored TIAMO but it made me sad that the yougest member of this group was posing ith little girls all carring playing cards b/c it was lke a Chaim Potok novel that said mutatis mutandis ‘child-rearing is all gambling’ which goes against my sense of what is possible and even practical with a proper chain of care and ‘absolute ownership.’ And there I had been eager to join in the American Families Plan but then it really is still public schools where (Chesterton), ‘ The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.’ Professionalism, fair compensation, training, re-training, good data, involving parents. I am just sad b/c I realized I don’t really get how good or bad the SoE’s are anymore but the costs of Chromebooks and such are immense and I’m almost 100% certain the kids still have noisy homes, no good desks, + many of the staff are single moms nursing etc. + teacher-tenure and ‘middle class wages’ IMHO have been drawing mercenary self-righteous ideologue-automoton mental Boomers for decades and they still don’t get it but I’m super-sad b/c I just have no way I know of finding out!

I like talking to psychiatrists b/c they get stuff about autism as well as in some cases literal demons and matters such as handwriting, Arabic script going ‘backwards,’ but in the end they too appear committed to doing whatever the current overlord(s) of the world order are going to do. At the mental hospital they’re writing stuff like ‘schiz- ____’ nd saying ‘sign I’ll date’ and when I say ‘that’s an official document’ the union pozzers around here are like ‘it’s my document’ like Hell it is. You’re on strike against truth and morality and that’s no joke! You better give me heart-failure tonight or I will eventually bring a suit against your ‘whole host’ but that itself is beside the point because of Delta and drones and the fact that this is a revelating(?) era and a literal Judgment of God, which I had been hoping to weather and eventually execute my long-incubating intention but I truly am concerned what could present roll over and through this city.

This spectre or menace of a saturating, superceding, overriding ‘raison d’etat’ in the earthly world order soon to come and everything going to be unsealed anyway so that your private life is really just ‘a paper heart merit-badge that says “private life” on it’ and in future even a confirmation of something or someone is not really a confirmation. Puts in mind of the MLG song ‘Kiss Me’ about ego and commitment and the valences and intersections(?) of different potential promises or forecasts. My old friend Miles used to write about kissing a lot and I had reflections about kissing and such matters but IDK now if he’s a cultural Maoist advocating to defund the LAPD or he just ‘keeps his virtue to himself’ and feeds trash the ‘Arab Street’ about not protecting weak people from criminals.

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