#carmen's gay panic

[lefemmerougewriter]

Revenge of a Reagan: Carmen, I.M.P., and the Glowing Hands Girl

This is the second part of my series, The Cognito Files. While the first part was a crossover between Helluva Boss and Inside Job, this fic adds characters from Carmen Sandiego and Kim Possible. This mature fic as graphic dipictions of violence, just be aware. This is set right after the battle with VILE in the final season of Carmen Sandiego. For this story, let's just say that Carmen Sandiego takes place in the same world as Helluva Boss, Inside Job, and Kim Possible. In a future part of the series, I believe I can fit in Stolas. I am going to continue this series, although I can’t say when Part 3 will be out. Hopefully, sometime in the next two months.

Friendships: Reagan Ridley & Brett Hand, Reagan Ridley & Rand Ridley, Blitzo & Moxxie, Magic Myc & Reagan Ridley, Reagan Ridley & Gigi Thompson, Reagan Ridley & Shego, Reagan Ridley & Carmen Sandiego, Glenn Dolphman & Reagan Ridley, Dr. Andre & Reagan Ridley

Romantic pairings: Moxxie/Millie

Words: 7.0k

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38195077

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/1254729126-the-cognito-files-revenge-of-a-reagan-carmen-i-m-p

Characters: Reagan Ridley, Rand Ridley, Brett Hand, Gigi Thompson, Glenn Dolphman, Dr. Andre, Magic Myc, Grassy Noel Atkinson, President Domp, Vice President Melosi, Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas Goetia, Carmen Sandiego, Zack, Ivy, Shego, Zabith Infierno, Aril Lllitar

Summary: Carmen thought the defeat of VILE was the end and she could relax. Little did she know, but she would be pulled into a conspiracy bigger than a group of villains and learn of a shadowy government organization which manufactures conspiracies. In the process, she, her friends Zack and Ivy, and her hacker friend, would cross paths with one woman who wanted to get back at her former employer for firing her, and a woman with glowing green hands, while a group of demons from the depths of Hell tries to kill them all!

Police swarmed the headquarters of the Villains International League of Evil, commonly called “VILE.” The evildoers had finally been defeated. She could take it easy for once. She had spent her entire life as an international thief. And with ACME, the Agency to Classify and Monitor Evildoers, now on her side, what could go wrong? 

“Red, we have a problem,” she heard in her earpiece. She groused. They had ended the reign of pernicious villains. What could be the issue? What could interrupt this great victory? “Player, what is it?” she asked, clearly annoyed that he was bothering her. 

He grumbled. He would have liked to enjoy their victory. As he was surfing the web, a story caught his eye. “Reagan Ridley takes helm of Cognito, Inc” the title of the Underground Conspiracy Times ran. He shared it with Carmen on her phone. “Red, here’s what I’m worried about…this Reagan Ridley fellow.” She shrugged. Why would this be a problem? What did it matter? Who was Reagan Ridley anyway?

“I don’t know much about 'Reagan Ridley,' but I do know about Cognito…it’s a shadowy government organization which supports VILE.” Carmen’s ears perked up. An organization…which backs VILE? Why hadn’t he mentioned this before? Wouldn’t it have been better to go after them instead of spending all this time fighting VILE? “Let’s go after them!” she exclaimed. Player explained why this would be a challenge. He hoped she’d understand. “I agree, Red. We must be careful…they have eyes everywhere.” She snickered. What could Player be worried about? He was a skilled hacker. He could stop them in their tracks.

He scurried around his room, looking under anything, searching for anything that could be a camera. He didn’t want to be captured. From what he heard on the dark web, people who talked about Cognito were never seen again. He breathed deeply. Everything would be fine, he thought.

Seconds later, C armen stared at her screen in horror. She saw three men in suits burst into his room. She yelled. “Player, watch out!” He shrieked. They had trapped him between themselves and his computer. He hollered. “If you take one step closer, the computers will get it!” The men shrugged. They didn’t dare approach. A 30-something woman dressed in a lab coat, green paints, low-cut socks, and white sneakers appeared out of nowhere. She pulled out what looked like a lipstick tube. She snickered. “You aren’t going anywhere, buddy.” Touching a button, it released an electric shock. He slumped onto the ground.

Carmen saw this all unfold and was horrified. She shouted. “Let him go!” The same woman she saw before donned a ski mask and wore a hoodie, to disguise her identity. The woman chuckled. She addressed Carmen directly, looking into the camera. She declared, “if you want your friend back…you need to come to Cognito.” The woman then turned to the side, remarking, “I’ll be expecting you…Red lady.” She walked out of the room. Player was dragged out by three burly men. His mother would have objected, but she had been given a sedative. 

Turning the video off, Carmen stuffed her cell phone in her pants pocket. She ran over to her friends, Zack and Ivy, who were celebrating the victory over VILE. “Uh, guys, Player was kidnapped,” she said matter-of-factly. They looked at her with shock. Was she pranking them? Ivy had to make sure. “Are you being real with us, Carm?” She nodded solemnly. Zack shuttered, as did Ivy. Who would do such a thing? Carmen wasn’t sure.

Trying to find him would be a challenge. She had technical skills and know-how. She depended on Player to commit her acts of international thievery. As she started to talk to her team about their next steps, her phone buzzed. Quickly pulling it out of her pocket, she nervously pressed the home button. The screen shimmered. “I have you now, Carmen Sandiego,” a voice off screen declared. She recognized the voice. It was the same one as the woman who had kidnapped her friend! She saw Player restrained and tied to a chair. “Don’t hurt him!” she pleaded. The woman laughed. Carmen was unaware of the power of Cognito. She said softly, “Gigi, activate the hypnosis setting.” Her phone began emitting a specific frequency which put her in a trance. Zack and Ivy tried to snap her out of it, but they were sucked in too.

“Come to Cognito, Inc. Your friend will be safe,” the message commanded. From there, they blindly followed its instructions and marched onto a black helicopter. Back at headquarters, Reagan sighed. Was it worth it to go to all this effort? She pressed a button and the restraints on Player were released and the ropes were sliced apart. 

He was surprised. Did they want him to escape? As he started to leave, Reagan came close to him and shook her finger. She stood in his way. “You are one of the best hackers out there…and I brought you here for a reason…don’t you want to know why?” He shrugged. He wasn’t sure how to answer her question. Was he supposed to be curious? Should he fight or flee? He decided to entertain her notion, for now. “Sure…Ms…” She grumbled and rolled her eyes. Did she really need to tell this hacker who she was? Would that even help? She decided to tell him anyway. “Ridley…Reagan Ridley…CEO of Cognito, Inc…how about you…Mr. Hacker.” He chuckled. He responded, introducing himself. “I’m Player.” He extended his hand. Reagan remained wary. She took a step back, then pulled a file folder out from under her jacket. “This says that your last name is Bouchard…there is no first name listed…how convenient.” 

Player shrugged. He had no intention of revealing his first name to her or to anyone. It wasn’t anyone’s business! Not even Carmen knew it. Neither did Zack or Ivy. Luckily for him, Reagan could care less about his first name. She had brought him there with a specific purpose in mind, although he wasn’t sure why. He would find out soon enough.

Reagan paced across the room. Where was Carmen Sandiego and her friends? She started to grow impatient. Suddenly, three guards in black camo gear brought Carmen, Zack, and Ivy into the same room. As the door closed behind them, Reagan typed on her phone the message “turn it off.” She received a one word reply from GIGITHO, the name that her friend used in the chat program. She placed her phone into a compartment on the door and it was sucked away to her office. She pressed a button on the wall. it made all electronic devices inoperable, like a localized EMP. They were completely alone. No one would be watching them, this time.

Carmen came to her senses, followed by Zack and Ivy. She got in Reagan’s face. She was furious. “Why the hell did you kidnap us…and Player…what the fuck do you want?” She moved her head from side to side. Carmen had it all wrong. She knew that she had to set the record straight. She did not want them to be enemies. She stared right back at Carmen with her brown eyes. To get ready for this meeting, she had done the unusual thing of putting on makeup to cover up her eye bags. She wanted to hide her sleep deprivation from others, realizing that characteristic could easily be exploited by those around her and others.

“I’d like to recruit you,” she said, seriously. Player knew this was coming, Zack and Ivy were confused, while Carmen was thoroughly surprised. She snapped back to reality and became incensed yet again. She hollered “couldn’t you have just asked us?” Reagan grumbled. Carmen really didn’t understand what Cognito did. Reagan then rolled her eyes and decided to give her the down low. “We are a shadow government organization…we have rules and protocol…we can’t just go to you…and ask.” She then sheepishly added, “...and I thought you’d all flee if we tried to come in and talk…after you took down those people you call ‘villains’.” Carmen thought she’d say that Cognito worked with VILE. It would make sense after what Player had told her about the connection between the two organizations. How were they able to stay afloat after the defeats at her hands? It seemed logical. 

Reagan made clear that wasn’t the connection. This meant that either Player had been incorrect and misled, or that Reagan wasn’t being honest with them. “VILE were a bunch of jerks…so thanks for taking them down.” She cleared her throat. She believed it was time to announce why she had brought all four of them there to Cognito. She had to be honest, at least this time. “I’d like you to steal the silver patriot jewel from the Ladies of the Great Rebellion…from their museum, which is right here in the nation’s capital.”

Carmen had not predicted that this woman, who seemed mysterious to her, would propose she take an object from a museum. Staying a bit skeptical, she demanded to know why this jewel had to be taken. What value did it have? “Why do you need it anyway?” Reagan laughed. She didn’t expect such a question from a person she thought was so smart. She explained why it mattered. “The LGR is a wicked place. I once worked there…they canned my ass because I wasn’t as productive as they had wanted…what pretentious jerks.” Zack piped up. He couldn’t believe his ears. “You want to get a jewel so you can screw over your former workplace?” Reagan rolled her eyes. When he put it like that, it seemed malicious. She could care less about that belief. “I want to expose their sorry asses to the world and make them pay. They need to suffer for what they’ve done, those White supremacist posers.” She added, “I regret even spending over five months there…and they made me go through online training so I could analyze requests to join their fucking hoity-toity society.” Just thinking about it made her angrier. Impulsively, she growled and lashed out. She shouted. “Can’t you see that I’m in agony over this! Aren't you all about justice and doing the right thing?” 

Carmen was taken aback. Realizing she had gone too far, Reagan stepped back and started to apologize. She didn’t want to turn them off. At times she really couldn’t deal with people. Too much interaction caused her to be socially exhausted. “I…didn’t mean to yell at you and your crew…you are the best in the business…will you do it…and help me, please?” She mulled it over. She murmured with Zack, Ivy, and Player. It could be a gamble or a trap. Reagan recognized that Carmen might be close to rejecting her offer. Without much thought, she blurted out, “Such a cute, snappy dresser like you wouldn’t turn down an offer from a pretty girl like me, right?” Carmen’s face became as red as a strawberry. She wasn’t prepared for this at all. Even when she met Julia Argent, an ACME agent that Zack and Ivy guessed that she had a crush on, she could keep her cool. She couldn’t do that in this case. Reagan’s little hair flip made her totally lose concentration. She was in total panic mode. She quickly exclaimed, “I’ll do it!” She covered her mouth right after, realizing she had made a mistake. This made Reagan happier than anything in the world. She said, softly, “sorry about…that comment earlier…thanks so much for doing this.” Carmen couldn’t back out now. Still a bit flustered, she huffed while Reagan opened the door with the push of a button, allowing them to leave. She waved as they left. “Best of luck, Carmen Sandiego and friends!” 

The door closed in an instant. Reagan had a lot of thoughts about what had just happened. Had she done the right thing? Did she really have to flirt with a woman who was, by her guess, only 22 or 23? She knew that as a thirty-year-old, she could date anyone between the ages of 22 and 46, according to that silly "Half Your Age Plus 7" relationship rule. One could say that she was a little attracted to Carmen and she hoped to see her again. She even blushed when she thought about it. This was all necessary to make sure her plan came to fruition. Collecting herself, she pressed a button and the energy field deactivated. She touched another and a disk came out of the wall. With the disk in her hand, she left the room and walked toward the war room. She would be ready to coordinate the operation to steal the jewel from LGR. It was all part of her plan to take over the world and beyond, one step at a time, even though she wasn’t sure exactly how it would all fit together. That would come to her…in time.

Carmen was glad to be free. This Reagan Ridley person continued to confound her. Could she trust her? She wasn’t sure. She believed in her team, often called “Team Red.” She felt like she was in a bind. She asked them for advice, starting with her close friend in crime. “Ivy, what should I do?” Ivy was surprised. She didn’t think that her boss, of sorts, would ask for her help. Usually, it was the other way around. Carmen had led Team Red for years. “You should do this for her and try to bring her to the side of good.” Zack chimed in. “Yeah, sis, you are so right! She can’t be all on the side of…evil.” Player grumbled when hearing the conversation between them. He didn’t really like being around people, like Reagan. He’d rather be sitting in front of a computer screen by himself, in his room, a dark cave only lit by the light emanating from his computer screens. Carmen could see Player’s apprehension on his face and moved over to him. In the meantime, Zack and Ivy argued about the difference between “good” and “evil.” Carmen wanted to check up on Player. “Are you ok?” she asked. He shook his head. 

While people would reply “Sure” or “Yes,” he decided to tell her the truth. He whispered to her, “no, I’m not. I need to get on a computer if…we are going to do this.” She understood. She began walking away from Zack and Ivy. She told them to stay put. “I’m gonna help Player get a computer here…which they are bound to have…to help us with this mission.” Zack and Ivy were ok with that. She and Player began walking around the halls until she came across a door labeled “War Room.” She guessed that they might have a computer inside. Busy with helping Player, she didn’t even recognize the familiar voice. She quickly opened the door. “Does anyone have a computer…a…,” Player then interjected, “a clean room so I can do my hacking to help Carmen here…with this theft.” Gigi, Brett, Glenn, Dr. Andre, and Magic Myc were eating lunch at their weirdly shaped table. Eying her outfit, Gigi exclaimed, “come in, Ms. snappy dresser…dang, you look fine!” She said this, even though she recognized her as Carmen Sandiego. Glenn kept snarfing down his lunch, not really looking toward her, and Dr. Andre kept smoking his chemtrails. Magic Myc asked, “let me read your mind” as he began extending one of his tentacles. Carmen backed away and tried to be nice about it. “No thanks…Mr…uh…mushroom man.” Brett got up and walked toward her. He was the only one who wanted to introduce himself to Carmen in a “normal” way. “Hi, I’m Brett Hand, what’s your name?” She answered sheepishly, “Carmen Sandiego…and this is my friend, Player…Reagan put us on this mission…” Before she could say anything, Reagan came into the room like she knew the conversation was happening and was annoyed she hadn’t been part of it.

“Can you leave MY new…asset…alone?” she said, dumbfounding everyone. When did Reagan ever have an asset other than them? Who was this woman anyway? At that moment, Carmen felt grateful for Reagan being there, although she still wasn’t sure if she could trust her. Reagan went a step further and exclaimed, “get her what she and her…friend…needs…this mission is important to me.” Gigi, Brett, Glenn, Andre, and Myc nodded their heads in agreement. Brett led Player to an isolated room where he could engage in hacking of information systems to help Carmen with her theft from the LGR. Without wanting to embarrass herself, Carmen exclaimed, “I’ll be…getting that silver patriot jewel for you” and began walking the other way. Gleeful, Reagan replied, “thanks a million! We will coordinate what we can from here.” 

Right after Carmen left the room, Gigi turned to Reagan. She said, loudly, “what are you doing bringing a nice thing like her around here? It’s like she could be…” Guessing what Gigi would say next, Reagan rolled her eyes and added the word “girlfriend” afterward. That wasn’t what Gigi was thinking. she messed with Reagan a little bit. “So, you really like this woman, do you?” Reagan’s cheeks got warm and reddish. She didn’t know what to tell Gigi. She breathed in and answered firmly. “It’s all part of the plan. Whether I like her or not is not relevant.” Brett jumped to her defense, as a caring and sensitive person. He didn’t want an argument in the office. They needed to stick together. “Now, now, let’s simmer down now…Reagan can love anyone she wants…even this Carmen Sandiego fellow if she wants…that’s her business.” Reagan was on board with what Brett said. Glenn had left the room to test his arsenal of new weapons and Myc had gone to read people’s minds. Andre remained. “You two look cute together,” he said, clearly very high. Reagan shook her head. 

Unfortunately for her, Carmen had overheard the whole conversation and she felt even more uneasy. The person she was working for…liked her? What was she supposed to do now? The only thing she knew how to do was to complete her mission. That was what she had to do. She put all her feelings aside and focused on the task ahead. Breathing deeply, she put in her earpiece and heard a familiar voice on the other end. “Red, are we ready for this?” Carmen was glad to hear that Player hadn’t been harmed. No one at Cognito seemed intent on harming her or anyone on Team Red. She replied, matter-of-factly, “yes, Player, we are. Everything is in place.” She didn’t want to ask Player if he was ok. She believed that a person from that shadowy organization would be listening. She had to use her words very carefully.

An unmarked van pulled up outside of Cognito. A masked woman threw Carmen, Ivy, and Zack  inside, then sped off. Back in the war room, Glenn looked at the monitors with concern. “Reagan, we have a problem.” She laughed. She had contingencies in place if anything like this occurred. She knew what they had to do. “Call in the assassins,” she told him. He feigned ignorance. What people did she mean? He was confused. “Reagan, what do you mean?” She grumbled. How could it be that hard? Didn’t anyone remember them? “I mean I.M.P., those demons I worked with to try and off my dad…the ones we met last week.” Glenn knew who she meant. He liked those demons. They were the best assassins he had ever seen. Picking up a telephone, he typed in the number 1-800-TO-HELL. A phone line had been established from Cognito to Hell for this very occasion. Those in Hell were so cheap they got a 1-800 number rather than a direct line. 

At the I.M.P. headquarters, a tired Hellhound answered the phone. “Hello, this is I.M.P. Now, what the hell do you want?” Glenn tried to answer carefully. He wanted to make sure these assassins would do their job. He also did not want to offend them. “I’m Glenn Dolphman from Cognito and I’d like you to kill…a couple humans.” Loona vaguely remembered that name. It didn’t come to her at first. Then she remembered who they were: humans who ran a shadow organization on the surface. They gave her the creeps. “Sorry…we don’t take requests from humans…or dolphins.” The line disconnected. Glenn got up out of his chair in a rage. He couldn’t believe what she had said to him. No one turned him down! He complained to Reagan. “That damn woman hung up on me!” Reagan half-guessed this would happen. She knew what to do. She picked up the phone and dialed the same number. She got the same response from Loona.

“I know you might want to hang up,” she began, “but I’m willing to pay a generous sum,” she continued. Loona considered it. She said, tentatively, “hold one moment please.” She put down the phone and grabbed Blitzo. She looked at him, utterly terrified. “It's those Cognito people again…led by that lady who had us kill her dad.” Blitzo remembered. He didn’t want anyone to hurt his precious Loona. He would never let that happen. He started speaking into the phone. “Can you guarantee our safety?” Reagan chuckled. She was willing to give them all and everything she wanted if they never entered Cognito itself. She wanted to, paradoxically enough, keep their secrets. “Yes. And I’ll even get you a base to set up a permanent headquarters on the Earth's surface…you are the best assassins in the business, right?” Blitzo couldn’t argue with that. He smiled. Everything was on the up and up. “It’s a pleasure doing business you miss…” She then remarked, “just call me Reagan.” 

Blitzo remembered that name from before. He wanted an answer to one question. What was their mission and why was she asking them? “Ok, Reagan, what’s the target?” She laughed haughtily. She almost screamed out the name. She would have a chance to get rid of it forever and not have any regrets. “The LGR…the Ladies of the Great Rebellion…in downtown D.C.” Blitzo had no idea what building she meant, and he didn’t care. If they were paid well and got rid of the people they were supposed to, he could care less about a stinking building. Besides, they were assassins. What could go wrong?

On another side of the city, the unmarked van came to a stop. Carmen, Ivy, and Zack looked at one another. A woman with a greenish sock mask opened the vehicle’s two back doors. She easily picked them up by their clothes and hurled them onto the sidewalk. “Sayonara, suckers!” the woman exclaimed. She slammed the doors, then hopped into the driver’s seat and sped away. Carmen, Ivy, and Zack were puzzled. What had just happened? Who was that woman? They had no idea. That didn’t matter now. What Zack saw next made him shiver. He pointed at the placard above the door. “Uh, guys, we are at the…LGR.” 

Ivy was worried. Was the masked woman working for Reagan? Or had she brought them there for another reason? Carmen put all that aside and realized they had a job to do. Her feelings were irrelevant, she believed. Instead, she saw this heist as necessary to protect her team. That is what truly mattered to her. “We have to get this silver patriot jewel…so, let’s get going, team!” Ivy and Zack were less than enthusiastic. They decided to follow her need regardless. They hoped that this would end well for them.

As they began their mission, Reagan, back at Cognito, received a text. It was from a person labeled “green hands girl” in her phone. Flipping her phone over, she saw what it said: “Op Red is a go.” She smiled. Everything was going as planned. She quickly typed back a response, “Be on standby. Initiate Op NPC if necessary.” She quickly received a response: “Acknowledged.” She snickered and began to laugh maniacally. Since she sat in the chair in her office away from everyone else, no one else saw her actions, or knew her plan. 

Carmen entered the dimly lit library with anticipation. Only a lone security guard patrolled the halls, checking to make sure if anyone was there as he whistled to himself. If she had been there in the daytime, the researchers would be fast working, under deadlines from their bosses who wanted them to work faster and faster on complicated forms. Even though they had the technology for everything to be digital, their members were mostly elderly White ladies. All the changes had to be made by hand, scanned in, turned into digital documents, then printed out. The process could be confusing and bureaucratic. The bosses shouted orders and declared that the workers were not being productive enough. At the same time, they kept on workers who were so incompetent that they would have failed the rigorous tests given to new employees.

Reagan had been one of those people. She had the naive idea that her passion for learning more about her past could be a skill that she could use in a job. She created ways to track her progress as a new employee, hoping she could use it to show how much work she had done. To make matters worse, her bosses, a 30-something woman, who had a book on Asperger's on her work desk, and a man in his forties, turned these tools against her. Despite this, she remained optimistic that everything would be fine and that she would be ok. When she walked to a nearby park often filled with onlookers playing with flying disks, walking their dogs, or other fun activities, she continued to reassure herself about her self-worth. She would rather read a book, decompress, and talk to herself than have any “friends.” She often wore an earpiece to make it look like she was talking to another person while she talked to herself. She survived through it all.

She enjoyed her job on a level despite the soul-crushing labor. She even got a travel stipend, riding the subway from a suburb outside town. She lived in a crowded hovel with six other people, a place clearly meant for far fewer. She loved the cash. She used to shop at a gourmet food store and buy artisan sweet bread every week. She could walk to work, past museums, nonprofits, a building looking like a pastry gone wrong. Other people couldn’t do that. She loved it all, even her coworkers. Still, she felt so alone, like these co-workers didn’t care about her at all. Instead, they cared about inane topics which never interested her.

One day around 3:30 PM, she came back from the bathroom. The workspace was empty. She wondered where everyone was. She got a call on her work phone. It told her to come into the office. She did as she was told, marching herself in, like a dutiful worker. There were signs before this that things weren’t going well. She had met with her bosses, who told her to pick up the pace and work more “efficiently.” She said she was trying. They wanted more and they wanted it faster. She tried her best, but it wasn’t good enough. When she walked into that office, the HR director handed her a paper, and explained that her position was being terminated. She read over the letter carefully, explaining why they thought she should no longer be working at the LGR, handing her last paycheck, and letting her keep her paltry retirement account. 

After tidying up her desk and handing in her badge, she walked out the building for the last time. Her boss told her to “have a good life” and that this job was “not a good fit” for her. She walked down the street shamefully, back to the subway station, and her hovel. If she had a more supportive family, she would have called them without delay. She would have said that the LGR had fired her and cried while sitting on a chair on the porch of the hovel where she was staying, wondering what she could do and why this happened to her, of all people. If that had happened, her mom and her dad would have comforted her, calming her down and making her feel better about herself. She then would have left the next day like nothing ever happened and toured around the museums in the nation’s capital. Later, she would have told her landlord that she couldn’t stay at the hovel anymore. He would have understood and let her shorten her stay. Her parents would have picked her up and taken her home.

None of that happened for Reagan. She had no support network and no one looking out for her. She knew enough to not trust her father. Even so, she had no choice but to reach out to him. She called her father. “Dad, can I work at Cognito?” She could almost hear him grinning through the phone. “Yes, Reagan, I thought you’d never ask.” He didn’t even mention her earlier job. It didn’t matter. She wanted to forget it. She’d rather start another job instead. Now that she had control of Cognito, she could do what she wanted all along. She could get back at the fuckers who fired her. They would experience what it was like to be lonely, depressed, unemployed, and alienated. They needed to feel her pain.

Inside the LGR, Carmen quickly approached the glass case surrounding the silver patriot jewel. Unlike other museums, this jewel did not have the same security systems. She easily cut through the glass and snagged the jewel. The security guard had been knocked out with a rag dipped in chloroform by Ivy, while Zack remained as a lookout. She began speaking into her earpiece. “Player, we got the item.” He responded carefully. He didn’t want to say anything which could hurt Carmen. Unknowingly, their conversation put her in jeopardy. “Red, congrats. I’ll let you…” The transmission began to be interrupted with static. The next words she heard made her chill in fear. “Red…they are trying to kill you…a rocket is heading your way.” When she tried to speak to him again, all she heard was static. She wasn’t sure if he was right, until she heard a window smash and saw the rocket screaming toward her. She quickly grabbed Zack and dashed out of the room, just before an explosion engulfed the LGR library in flames. Ivy joined up with Carmen and Zack who were running out of the building as quickly as they could. They were afraid for all their lives.

A few rooftops away, a reddish-skinned demon cackled. It was Millie. Still holding the bazooka on her shoulder, she smiled with glee. She had thrown Molotov cocktails, used various firearms, and a battle ax, but never a weapon like this. “Isn’t it beautiful, Mox!” she exclaimed, as she held him close by. He smiled and whispered “yeah, it’s great.” He then shrugged her off. He didn’t want anything distracting him from his focus. He used the sniper rifle to focus on two individuals getting into a car, doing exactly what Reagan had predicted. As soon as they entered the vehicle, he fired off a single shot. The bullet had been specially designed to go through any surface and explode upon impact with gasoline. It accelerated through the air at an incredible speed. The unsuspecting people never knew what hit them. In an instant, their car exploded and the two people were incinerated. Moxxie was ecstatic! He rubbed noses with his favorite demon. He was more relaxed now that the job had been finished, or so he believed. “Aw, you cute Angel of Death…you were great today” he told her. Millie reciprocated, happily. Loona would have loved this if she had been with them.

Blitzo rolled his eyes. He wasn’t a person who liked public displays of affection, especially when they weren’t done here. He angrily snarled. “Take your love fest somewhere else…we still have to finish the job.” He took the bazooka from Millie, who willingly gave him the weapon. She saw no use for it at that point. He aimed it at the LGR building. A rocket flew out and toward the main power generator of the building, causing it to explode. The flames traveled through the air vents, with fire engulfing the building and the nearby music hall. “That’s how you do it,” he told them. He took out a phone and typed the words “It’s done.” He then took out a fancy book, an arcane spellbook belonging to Stolas which allowed them to travel between the human world and Hell. Opening the pages, it created a portal, which the three of them stepped into. They were on their way back to I.M.P. headquarters, feeling triumphant. Even so, Moxxie was slightly peeved at how dismissive Blitzo had been.

While I.M.P. had left, they had only been partly successful. Although the LGR was on fire and two people had been killed, Carmen, Zack, and Ivy were still alive. The two people had been an important part of Reagan’s life: her bosses when she worked at the LGR. One was his direct supervisor, a woman named Zabith Infierno, and her boss, a man named Aril Ilitar. When Reagan heard they were dead and gone, it felt like a weight had been lifted. No longer could they mess with her thoughts and be part of her life. She could even use the services at Cognito to forget all the memories she had of that awful workplace. She grumbled at the fact that Carmen and her team remained alive, as a text from “green hands girl” informed her. She wrote back three simple words: “Initiate Op NPC.” The woman stepped out of her van and stashed her phone in her pocket. She snuck up on Carmen, Zack, and Ivy, who were caught off guard in their weakened state. She easily knocked them all out, dragging them inside her gray van. She took off Carmen’s trademark red hat and coat, fancying herself in the same clothes. She placed small computer chips on each of their foreheads, which blinked in succession. Cackling, she said, ominously, “Carmen Sandiego, you have no idea what’s coming, do you?”

Not long after, Carmen, Zack, and Ivy arrived at Cognito, Inc., taken inside by their captor. No one paid them any mind as she brought them straight to Reagan’s office and took the bags off their heads. “I’ve brought the miscreants here…into this super creepy place.” Reagan smiled. She didn’t expect to meet a woman she called the “green hands girl.” Unlike with Carmen, she genuinely felt attracted to this woman, although what the woman said about Cognito annoyed her a little. She even addressed her by name. “That will be all…Shego.” Hearing her name, Shego looked intently at Reagan. She had wanted to see Reagan, one of the first clients for her new firm, Green Hands Girl Enterprise, a contracting group which took mercenary jobs. She thought that Reagan, and Cognito could be an end to her one-off jobs since she had become “good.” She could be a forever client! She came up with something on the spot. “This place you have is…uh…rad…let me show how these neuro-compliance clips work.” She belted out a command: “WALK FORWARD.” Carmen, Zack, and Ivy followed her command mindlessly. They could remember and see what was happening to them. However, they could do nothing to stop it. Reagan was impressed. With such a device, Cognito could easily put anyone she wanted under her control. What impressive power to have.

“Shego, these devices are great. You can start as one of our field agents, at once! You can make sure that people don’t figure out about our…conspiracies.” Nervously twirling her hair, Reagan then added, “uh, let’s hang out sometime.” Shego was surprised to hear that. She chuckled and added, “anytime, Ray-gun…see you on the flip side…I gotta blast on outta here!” As she said that, her green energy concentrated in her hands, and she blew a hole in the wall, followed by flips outside the building and onto the ground below. The damage to the building made her slightly angry. However, she was overjoyed to meet another woman who was the same age as her and could help Cognito accomplish its goals. It was a win-win. Coming into the executive suite which she now occupied since she had taken care of her father, she sat down behind a desk. She relaxed in a comfortable leather chair. She pressed a button on the desk and two guards appeared in her room, holding Carmen, Zack, and Ivy. She directed the guards to bring these miscreants to the re-conditioning room on level 7. The guards complied and took them away. Their fate, and that of Player, remained in the balance.

Just then, Gigi burst into her room. “Reagan, we have an emergency. People are beginning to ask questions about the explosion at the Ladies of the Great Rebellion and the killing of those two people. I’d like your advice.” Reagan shrugged. She tried to reassure Gigi. “Do what you do best. Spin and manipulate the news, blame anyone else for the actions.” Scratching her head, an idea immediately came to her. After remembering the day’s news, she suggested, “blame it on Russia. Nowadays anyone will believe that they are behind anything. People are so damn gullible and pliable, it's too easy to convince them of bullshit.” A smile went across Gigi’s face. She appreciated the support. There is nothing better than for your supervisor, and your friend, to believe in you. “Thanks so much, Reagan!” Grinning, Reagan added, “not a problem!”

After Gigi left, Reagan slumped into her chair. She had enough social interaction for the day. She hated that phrase “not a problem” but it slipped out. She thought it was an annoying phrase that goofballs used. The book How to be a Badass Female Boss by Dijonay Jones, now the head of Dijonay Industries, had told her that phrases like that would get coworkers to respect you. So, she tried it. Reagan wanted to take a rest after everything that had happened. She unveiled a huge television screen and tapped the controller. With some static, it turned on. The first channel she began watching had a breaking news report. It began just as she expected:

“Hi, this is Glock Rod. Two senior intelligence officials are telling NNC News that Russia is behind the heinous assaults of two outstanding citizens in Washington, D.C., and the bombing of the Ladies of the Great Rebellion in the downtown. Let’s cut now to an announcement from President Ridrump on the evolving crisis:

‘This is a cowardly act by the Russian government to strike fear into the hearts of the American people. I am sanctioning their intelligence apparatus…they will pay for what they have done and will suffer the pain of a thousand suns. No one stands up to America and…’

Reagan had heard enough. This type of jingoistic claptrap could convince anyone to do anything, even making people mindlessly support the blame of a whole group of people for an action committed by a country’s government. Utter poppycock. She flipped to the next channel.

“I’m Olf Litzer. We are hearing from government sources that Russia is behind this despicable act which strikes at the heart of American democracy. We mourn the deaths of Zabith Infierno, and Aril Ilitar. They will live in infamy…”

She clicked onto the next channel. It had reporting on the same issue, although had a different spin. The chyron at the bottom asked “CIA behind assassination? Unnamed source says YES.” The host wore a suave suit. He had hair that looked like it had gone through a blender and a washing machine at the same time. This host, named Rucker Narlygrin, claimed they had information no one else on any other channel had, an exclusive story:

“The rest of those other channels are saying it is Russia. We have the REAL scoop here. It was the CIA! An unnamed government source gave me intimate knowledge of the plans. It all makes sense. It’s clearly a false flag operation so that the government can institute martial law. I will never stand for such American tyranny. We are the land of the brave and don’t you ever forget that. I will die on the grave of American freedom with a flag stabbed through my heart!”

Reagan was a bit thrown by the last one. What was that guy even talking about? She had no clue. She knew that Gigi’s disinformation campaign and spin about the assassinations, and bombing, had been successful. No one would ever suspect that a group of demons, from the depths of hell, were behind it all. None of these pundits, half of whom were reptilian clones who served the Shadow Council, cared about the truth. All they wanted was money and more money. They would say anything to stay on the air and the public would eat it up, with lively debates on social media between those who believed Russia was behind the attack and those who believed it was the CIA. They had fostered this discord and Reagan couldn’t be prouder. In many ways, everything was going according to plan.

*********

Notes: Used “A.C.M.E. (2019),” “Carmen Sandiego (2019 character),” “Player (2019 character)” on the Carmen Sandiego wiki, “Loona,” “I.M.P.,” “Millie,” “Moxxie,” on the Hazbin Hotel wiki, and Neuro-compliance chip page on Kim Possible Wiki, Reagan Ridley page on Inside Job Wiki. This story is slightly inspired, in one part, by real events.

[canis-licro1ce]

Look at this and just try to tell me it isn’t SCREAMING Carulivy/Carjulivy

[jase-is-ace]

@sonasnowdrop oc and mine! Addison is so cute🥺

[nobodyisneurotypicalinthebureau]

Marina and jonah for the bingo thingie

(red is Marina, purple is Jonah)

[babymagi]

Titus: Mother really I'm fine there's no reason to go see a doct- Sphintus, le doctor: What seems to be the problem? Titus: MY HEART PURPLE MY LEG INSIDE OUT-

[lewisvinga]

favorite girls | alex albon x fem! reader x lily muni he!

summary; after y/n says a special fact about her relationship with alex and lily, everyone seems to misinterpret it as her getting in between their relationship. luckily, her boyfriend, girlfriend, and their grid friends are always there to defend her.

fc; emilia mernes

warnings; slut shaming, cursing

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs

note; requested ! i love me some alex n lily

masterlist !

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and others!

alex_albon: my favorite girls. both of them, always and forever. ( p.s. lily and i made the FIRST move before she realized we loved her after manyyyyy hints and tries )

tagged; yourusername, lilymhe

lilymhe: y/n is such a pretty angel then you added a pic of me in pjs and w my dino

alex_albon: ‘that’s my y/n dino i can’t leave her🥺🥺’

yourusername: AWE LILSSSS

lilymhe:we gave her so many hints and it wasn’t until we kissed her that she finally realized 🕊️🕊️

alex_albon: she’s so stupidly cute 😞😞

yourusername: to be fair, lily is just super affectionate and alex is flirty without trying , how was i supposed to know🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

landonorris: when drunk alex and lily kept ranting to me about how much they love you while you were right next to me???

yourusername: i too was tipsy , norris !

yourusername: love u both sm💖💖 my fave ppl in the whole wide world 🥹🫶

alex_albon: love you both so much too❤️

lilymhe: AWEE I LOVE YOUU BOTH🥹

username: now i see why y/n said lily is like a puppy

username: #y/ndefenderuntildeath liked by alex_albon & lilymhe!

username: they’re so goals

username: the way they both pulled a bad bitch like y/n really had y’all questioning if they made the first move or not 😭

username: y/n honestly has looked happier ever since dating them! and even her aesthetic has been sm more colorful!

username: my parents 😖

landonorris: love u guys n all but u guys are gross

yourusername: aweee landooo ( ignoring the last part )

alex_albon: he’s just jealous i have 2 pretty gfs and he has none!

landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE

username: lily and y/n give me a gay panic

username: idk if i wanna be them or be with them

username: u guys need a fourth?? or a dog??? or a cat??😁😁

username: i still don’t like y/n. she gives me such an ick. swear she just ruined their relationship.

landonorris: well you give me the ick but you don’t see me commenting on your posts! y/n has made lily and alex very happy, so please fuck off.

georgerussell63: y/n is such a sweet girl, ask carmen, or literally anyone else on the grid! she’s loved by all of us and most importantly, alex and lily love her. frankly, your opinion doesn’t matter!

charles_leclerc: we don’t know you so it seems like your comment is irrelevant 😊😊😊 you clearly don’t know alex or lily well enough to know how happy they are with her! keep your irrelevant opinions to yourself next time 😁

lilymhe: yeah, what they said!

yourusername: awh, my boyfriends boyfriends are so nice 🩷

alex_albon: gross lando isn’t my boyfriend

landonorris: u know u want to baby😘😘

alex_albon: stay away from me norizz ❌

georgerussell63: so i’m your bf? 😦

charles_leclerc: and me?😧

lilymhe: that makes carmen and alexandra our gfs LETS GOOO🙌🙌

carmenmmundt: LETS GOO🤗

alexandrasaintmleux: GIRLIES FTW🎉🎉🎉

yourusername: i like this comment thread 😊

[midnightexpressproductions]

Demo (TBA)

Content warnings (This IF has situations and themes that might be distressing to others): mentions of death, depictions of bodily harm, body horror, gore, anxiety/panic attacks, stressful scenes, claustrophobia, violence, car crashes, amaxophobia, astraphobia, use of weapons (guns, knives, etc.), explicit language, and sexual content though this is optional.

Dark smoke curls all around you, the black ash clogging up your nose and choking your throat. The sound of sirens is muffled in your ears. The base of your skull feels like it's split in two, a sharp pain blooming on the back of your head. Your eyesight is blurry but you can just make out the body writhing around on the ground.

You're hurt and blood seeps out of your wounds. You should be dead. You shouldn't be able to move, but here you are struggling to breathe. The acrid air in your lungs burns. Your vision tinges red. You can't help but watch as the body across the street from you sits up, rotten eyes fixed on your own.

It's jaw unhinges as it lets out an unearthly scream. It's hungry– no not hungry, ravenous– filthy drool dripping down it's chin. In a flash it descends upon you.

Starving.

Yearning for something to eat.

Desperate.

Yearning for food.

Famished.

Yearning to tear your flesh apart.

------------------------------------------------------------------

In your senior year of high school, you remain the sole survivor of a brutal car crash that kills your father. Grief stricken, your mother decides that it's time for a fresh start. You soon find yourself shipped away to the other side of the country in bustling New York City; a completely different world from your previous rural Louisiana town.

A fish out of water, you're content with staying in the comfort of your own bedroom, living out your life in complete solitude. However, fate has other plans and after four years of isolation, you are forced to leave your room and venture into the outside world.

You just had to pick the day when everything goes to shit, didn't you?

The dead have begun to rise, violent and angry and desperately ravenous for human flesh. Finding yourself separated from your mom, you team up with an unlikely group of survivors as you begin your journey across a ruined New York in hopes of safe haven.

Who knows what might happen when the dead wake?

Play as male, female or non binary; you have the chance to set your own pronouns.

Play as straight, gay, lesbian, bi/pansexual, demi/asexual or aromantic.

Customize your MC's personality and appearance.

Choose from five RO's (plus a sixth RO who you'll meet at the end of the game) to romance or befriend. Or betray.

Build up your stats.

Make alliances or enemies with rival gangs.

Steal a cop car.

Adopt some dogs.

Your choices matter. You and other characters from the main cast can die.

Javier Delgado | he/him | 23 | ISTJ-T | Puerto Rican American

Javier has short, dark brown hair that curls just slightly around the edges. His down turned eyes are light brown and speckled with green. His golden tawny skin is lightly smattered with freckles across his cheeks. Javier is 5'10" and he has a thin, lanky build which makes him seem much taller than he really is. A pair of plastic-rimmed, light green glasses sit on his hooked nose. He says that they're just for reading but in truth, his eyesight just really sucks. His thick eyebrows are almost constantly furrowed, causing people to think that he’s always upset. Javier favors more muted, earthy toned colors in what he wears. He's not particularly fashionable however, wearing whatever is clean and comfortable.

Carmen Bautista | she/her | 23 | ESFJ-A | Filipina/Brazilian American

Carmen has long, wavy hair that stops just below her shoulder blades. Her hair is dark brown turning into a blonde ombre the further down it goes. She normally keeps it pulled back into a low bun or a French braid. Her wide eyes are almond shaped and dark brown. Carmen’s olive skin is completely flawless. Her full lips seem to be set in a perpetual smile, showing off the deep set dimples on her cheeks. She is 5'9" and has a plump, hourglass figure. She can normally be found wearing jewelry. However, Carmen doesn't wear rings, saying that she prefers to keep her hands free of any obstructions. She does have her nails painted a bubblegum pink though. Carmen favors pastel colors and soft clothing that she can easily move around in.

Max Friedman | she/they | 22 | ISTP-A | Jewish American

Max has wildly curly, dark copper hair that reaches just below their ears which is choppy since they cut it themself. Their eyes are a pale stormy gray and droopy, giving them a sleepy appearance. However, paired with her thin lips that seem to be constantly set into a scowl, it only highlights Max's less than friendly demeanor. Max has pale skin with warm undertones. She's covered from head to toe in freckles. They have a small cut on the right side of their upper lip. Their nose is slightly crooked, having broken it from a skateboarding accident. She's the shortest out of the group (not including Gwen), standing at 5'2" and she has a lithe build though the baggy clothes she wears make it seem that Max is skinnier than she really is. They carry around a skateboard wherever they go. 

Eun-Woo Park | he/him | 20 | ESTP-T | South Korean

Eun-Woo has short, pencil-straight black hair that's been styled into an undercut, his bangs left longer than the rest. Thick eyelashes rim his monolid eyes. The irises are a brown so dark that they're almost black. Eun-Woo's milk white skin is spotted with moles, the most notable being the two that sit underneath his left eye. His hands are covered with old calluses and jagged scars mar his knuckles. Eun-Woo stands at 5'7" and has a sinewy, toned build. His ears are double pierced and he has a helix piercing on his right ear. Eun-Woo's nails are painted black. He likes wearing black clothing however, he always wears a red SSG Landers cap along with a NY Yankees letterman jacket.

Derek Campbell | he/they | 24 | ISFP-A | African American/Caucasian

Derek has dark brown, shoulder length dreads. The ends are dyed a light honey brown though he's constantly changing the color. He normally keeps his dreads tied back in a loose ponytail or bun. Their full lips seem to always be set in a sweet smile. Their dark brown eyes are round and wide set, emphasizing their friendly demeanor. Light stubble softens their sharp jaw. Derek has light brown skin, having two scars on his face: one that runs down the corner of his left eyebrow and the other running across the bridge of his nose. He's the tallest of the whole group, standing at 6'5" and his chubby, thick-set build seems imposing at first. They're really just a big marshmallow though. Derek seems to favor more athletic wear, though they'll wear whatever feels comfortable to them. They like bright colors, especially pink and yellow.

Elijah/Elizabeth Watts | he/him or she/her | 26 | ENTJ-A | African American

Eli has dark umber skin with cool undertones. Jagged, old scars crisscross all over their body. They have a full sleeve tattoo of a snake surrounded by lotus flowers on their left arm. F!Eli has long, tightly coiled black hair which she normally keeps tied back into a low ponytail or a braided bun. M!Eli has short, tightly coiled black hair that's cut into a fade, his coils either left free or tied back into cornrows. Even if they're not upset, Eli's eyes seem to be constantly narrowed, the warm honey brown irises standing out against their dark skin. Their full lips hide a gap-toothed smile. Both M!Eli and F!Eli stand at 6'0". They have a toned, muscular build. They wear no makeup or jewelry, other than the dog tags that they keep hidden underneath their clothes.

Gwen Nguyen | she/her | 10 | Vietnamese American

Gwen has warm toned, honey skin and wide, black eyes. Her chubby cheeks are dusted red, only further highlighting her innocent appearance. However, the sneaky rude gestures and hidden eye rolls show that she's much more cheeky than she looks. Gwen likes to wear anything soft and pastel colored. She always has her favorite pink bear plushie with her. Gwen is also deaf, so she wears a pair of sparkly hearing aids. Other than using sign language, she also communicates with a small whiteboard that she keeps tucked away in a pastel yellow backpack.

Pa and Ma Hazel:

Pa is a 10 year old German shepherd and Ma Hazel is an 11 year old cocker spaniel. Pa is short coated and his fur is a dark sable color with his underside being a honey brown. His muzzle is also lightly streaked through with gray. Ma Hazel is medium coated and her fur is a brown roan. Her muzzle is also slightly graying and her nose is spotted. In lieu of collars, Pa wears a forest green bandana around his neck. Ma Hazel doesn't wear a collar at all.

[pacinglikeghosts]

kat's au moodboard - single dad!carmy au

howdy hi! my best friend/lovely beta (make-easter-gay-again on ao3) and i have been working on this au since i forced him to watch the bear, and with s3 coming out on thursday, we wanted to share a little something! we're still working on it, but we have a good bit written and want y'all to have a little taste.

here is 1000 or so words from the prologue, just to get you warmed up!

preview under the cut :D

Carmen Berzatto has never felt more like an Italian stereotype. Considering he’s a loud, aggressive chef with a huge, interweaving web of a family and an almost sensual relationship with fine wines and cheeses, that’s a high bar to cross, but he manages somehow when he finds himself on Nat’s doorstep, barely 26, desperately trying to keep the baby balanced on his chest asleep. It’s a sticky, cloudy summer evening in Chicago, the kind that would make any midwestern kid nostalgic, but Carmy has been shuffling between trains—the subway, the L, and the Amtrak that he’d booked with the money he meant to save for next month’s rent—since six p.m. yesterday without a wink of sleep. He wouldn’t notice a tornado ripping through downtown unless it delayed his arrival. 

For the past 36 hours, every minute has been dedicated to making it through the next and getting to his sister. 

And to her credit, when she opens the door, Natalie reacts to the situation about as well as he could expect. 

“What the fuck?” 

“Hello to you too, Sug,” he greets, attempting to adjust the baby on his chest without waking it. 

“What the fuck, Carmen?” she repeats, her eyes bulging so wide she’s teetering on the edge of looking insane. And, Carmy loves his sister. More than anything. But she looks like shit, the indigo circles under her eyes deep enough to look like bruises and a stained sweatshirt thrown haphazardly over pajamas. He knew vaguely that things hadn’t been easy for Sugar since Mikey’s death—managing The Beef’s finances, having a kid, raising said kid into what appeared to be a holy terror of a toddler—but he wasn’t expecting to return home and find his sister in such a state. Granted, he’s sure he doesn’t look much better. “You don’t come home for Mikey’s funeral, don’t talk to me for months, and then show up with a fucking baby? How did you even get that baby?”

“It’s a little hard to explain,” he says. She leans into her hip, no shit written all over her face. 

Despite being maybe the worst little brother in history, the only thing that made him hesitate in coming to Nat for help wasn’t any of their family’s issues. Not even his impressive stubbornness was enough to convince him that he could handle an infant in a sub-200 square foot apartment in New York City alone. But she has a life of her own, and a family of her own. He knows his baggage is truly the last thing that Nat needs right now, but he needs her—desperately. Of anyone in the world, the only person he knows he can rely on in this nightmare he can’t wake up from is his sister. 

Natalie, thankfully, senses the panic and distress that lingers on her brother’s face, and ushers him inside. “We were just about to eat dinner,” she explains, attempting to push toys and piles of laundry out of the way with her feet as if welcoming the mayor of Chicago into her house, not her idiot younger brother. “If you’re hungry.”

“Uh, coffee would be good,” Carmy concludes, staring at a framed family photo in the hallway. “Maybe, uh, a place to, uh…” He shrugs his shoulders to indicate the baby, and she nods curtly, her eyes flitting around. 

“I’ll have Pete get some of Gabby’s stuff from the attic,” she says, sharply turning on her heel and walking towards the kitchen. Carmy follows, watching as his sister effortlessly scoops the toddler up and carries her with them, ignoring a prolonged squeal of protest and flailing arms and legs. “Pete! Grab an extra plate, will you?” 

“Yeah, sure thing, honey…who was—Carm!” Pete greets, coming around the corner with a plate and silverware in hand. He glances for a second at the baby, tries to school his obvious double take, and squeaks out, “What’re you doing here, man? What’s up?”

Carmy takes a moment to figure out the best way to answer that question. This baby is apparently mine, but I have no recollection of having sex with anyone who could be its mother, and I can’t raise it on my own, and you guys are my only family? I decided to come back and take over The Beef, and oh–by the way–I have a kid now, apparently? I’m just visiting? “I–uh…” he says instead, shifting his focus to Natalie, who seems as though she was one wrong choice on Carmy’s part from throttling him in her kitchen. 

“Pete, can you go up to the attic and grab some of Gabby’s old stuff? I think we put the crib and shit up there,” she instructs, with a look that clearly reads we will talk about this later. 

He catches Natalie glancing at him every so often, in between fussing over her daughter and plating up the food. Sitting quietly at the dinner table, waiting for the rest of the family, he feels like a kid, like he’s gotten himself into something way over his head. 

Carmy had only eaten a few things on the train, mainly sugary snacks to keep him going when even his anxiety succumbed to his exhaustion, so the beef stew Natalie offers him tastes better than any Michelin-awarded meal he’s ever had. He devours two bowls, barely stopping to look up at the other three people (two people? Two adults and a toddler smushing mac and cheese around her high chair?) sitting around the table. 

After dinner, Natalie and Pete retreat upstairs to get Gabby to bed, and Carmy feeds the baby, unpacking his CVS bag of baby essentials: the diapers, formula, and pack of three bottles he thought to buy before he skipped town. Then, the three adults settle into the living room, a cup of tea in Natalie’s hand and a second (or possibly third, he’s lost count) cup of coffee in Carmy’s. 

“Yeah, so, walk me through this, Bear. You’re a father now?” Nat asks, tucking her legs underneath her. “Did you pay attention in sex ed, like, at all?”

Carmy uses his free hand to rake through his hair. He needs a shower, desperately, but between his newfound fatherhood and hauling ass to Chicago he hasn’t had time to breathe, much less consider hygiene. Maybe that’ll be added to the list to do tomorrow, nestled between find an apartment and learn how to be a better parent than his own in 24 hours–no therapy. “Yes, Sugar, I paid attention,” he replies, eliciting a scoff from his sister. “I…fuck, I don’t really know how it happened. I-I was at work, and my phone kept blowing up like when Mikey died, but no one was fucking dead, it was just some unknown number telling me to get to this hospital in Queens because my baby was there, and I kept telling them I think they have the wrong number, but they said the mother said the father’s name was Carmen Berzatto, and she left as soon as she could. I didn’t even get the name of who it was…just signed the birth certificate and left.”

“What’s their name, then? If you signed the certificate, you had to give them a name,” Natalie asks, slowly trying to piece together if he was plain stupid or genuinely a saint. 

“Uh…her name’s Brie,” he mumbles, the full force of his actions over the past two days coming to a head. The name takes a moment to come to mind, both because of the exhaustion and because he hardly thought about the name since he wrote it down. He’s been calling it—or her, really—the baby or the kid in his head all this time. 

She blinks. “Brie?” she repeats, before groaning. “Jesus fucking Christ, Carmen. You would legally marry cooking if you could.”

“I wasn’t thinking, Natalie! I got the call, and I needed to pick a name, and I was in the middle of making a brie appetizer, and I couldn’t fucking name her Blackberry or some bullshit like that! At least Brie sounds like a name!” 

Natalie stares at him before setting down her tea. “As soon as her classmates find out her dad’s a chef and she’s named after cheese, she’s going to be bullied. Do you want that?” He doesn’t, he knows how shitty kids could be, especially about a kid with anything that was seemingly different about them. “Look…I’ll get some of the books Pete and I used for Gabs. Pick a new name.” 

[the-transid-gacha]

Name: Carmen Role(s): Academic Full creative freedom for anything else.

Name: Carmen

Genders: Non-Binary / Agender

Orientations: Quoisexual & Gay (likes guys)

TransIDs: TransSH (severity increase), TransCokeAddict, TransPartyGoer, TransProfessor, TransAmbiguosGender (Fully transitioned) & TransCatObsessed

CisIDs: Photographic memory, Caffeine addict, Workaholic, Teachers Pet, Glasses, SH, Depression, Anxiety, Loves cats, & Panic attacks

Pronouns: They/Them, It/It's, He/Him (prefers They/It over He/Him)

Species: Human

Age: 18

Source: N/A

Role: Academic

Appearance:

Here you go dear- Hope you like them-

-Vex

[crustyweirdo]

smash or pass but it‘s pretty much the entire BrBa cast and i‘m adding my weird headcanons (queer edition)

please don’t take this too seriously, these are my preferences and most of the headcanons are obviously jokes. 18+ please!!

Walter White: hell nooo he worked with n*zis and wears those tighty whities. definitely needs pills to get it up

Saul Goodman: smash, i feel like he‘d call me mommy. minus points bc he‘d make dad jokes during it.

Jesse Pinkman: 1000% SMASH HES SO FINE!! would smoke in bed with me after. i feel like he has piercings down there too, don’t ask why. definitely whimpers

Skyler White: had to think abt it a little but i‘d smash, misunderstood queen. lots of aftercare too

Hank Schrader: hard pass. he‘s a cop and has the personality of a paper bag.

Gus Fring: sure! more of a hookup though because i can’t imagine him being kind and gentle. he‘d say no cuz he‘s gay fr

Mike Ehrmantraut: probably not what you guys wanna hear, but smash. call it a guilty pleasure, ik that guy has experience. would focus on my needs first. i‘d do it in his car

Jane Margolis: yes omg are you kidding?! her style is everything and she’s genuinely so hot, i‘d gay panic being in the same room as her. definitely uses toys

Walter Jr: pass, too young for me and i don’t find him that attractive

Marie Schrader: smash! she‘s genuinely so sweet and pretty, perfect balance. hank didn’t deserve her

Todd, Jack and co: hardest pass, i don’t think i have to explain why. would go on about how women don’t deserve rights when they’re on top of me

Tuco Salamanca: no, he scares me. probably into knife play or some weird shit

Skinny Pete: yes! he‘s an acquired taste guys

Badger: probably? this is a hard one, smash if i got paid like 50 bucks. for free if it‘s with pete. but i‘d definitely go on a date with him

Steven Gomez: pass bc he‘s a cop. if i had to choose between him or hank i‘d choose him any day tho

Hector Salamanca: pass, no disrespect. rip Mark

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: i‘m anxious 24/7 so her nervous attitude would make it impossible for me to enjoy it. she‘d accidentally insult me during it in some way

Gale Boetticher: smash because i love his personality. he‘s a keeper, husband material. lasts 2 minutes :(

Combo Ortega: pass i like him but not like that fr

Ted Beneke: hard pass. wouldn’t shut up abt his stupid company for five minutes. he makes really weird sounds during it and asks if you came right after (u didn’t)

Eyebrow Guy: i like hair but not like that

Andrea Cantillo: yesss baby bring it on. easily one of the pretties characters. sadly her personality wasn’t shaped out well in the show

Gretchen Schwartz: i feel like she‘s too smart for me don’t ask why. would absolutely reject me

Elliot Schwartz: maybe if he wears a hat to hide those big ass ears. i‘d do it if he paid me tho

Wendy (blonde meth head): seems very sweet and i love her style but i‘m a fan of hygiene and her teeth are not it

Carmen Molina (principal): yeah i guess, she‘s pretty

Huell & Kuby: pass bc they‘re silly little guys. only come package deal

Donald Margolis: sad guy but seems very sweet. smash? he cries when he finishes

Salamanca Twins: probably never had sex ed, lots of uncomfortable stares… pass

Krazy-8: i don’t remember much of him but going off looks, smash

Jesses Therapy Group Leader: pass, he has those crazy killer eyes

hope you enjoyed! :D

[selchielesbian]

I did not meet my reading goal this year (and threw my list out the window about a month in) but I think that’s fine because I’ve done more reading in the last six months than I have the last four years, which was the point!!

For my own benefit, and your enjoyment, here’s what I read this year:

Finished:

Indecent Advances: A Hidden History of True Crime and Prejudice Before Stonewall by James Polchin. Absolutely excellent book about the history and formation of the ‘gay panic’ defense. In depth and well researched.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Very glad I never got around to reading this in college because I would have made it my entire personality.

Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers by Jude Ellison S. Doyle. Essay collection that started out strong but I think lost the plot somewhere around the chapter on motherhood and pregnancy. Since publishing the collection the author has come out as trans so I’d be interested to see them revisit some of their points—there were a few times when they brought trans identity into focus but mostly quoted other trans essayists because they felt they were unqualified to speak on the subject, but wanted to include trans women and nonbinary people when relevant. This book gave me a lot to research, and some film recommendations aside lol.

Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado. I actually received this book from a friend back in 2020, read the first story, and went hmmm. Maybe not for me! I finally picked it back up this year and devoured it in a few days. Really delicious, left me feeling sick and raw for some time. Great stuff.

The Locked Tomb series (GtN, HtN, NtN, As Yet Unsent and Dr. Sex) by Tamsyn Muir. As you all know, it has taken over my life. I think this series has a lot of good and bad qualities and was designed to make me, specifically, insane.

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir. Very fun break down of the ‘princess trapped in a tower’ fairytale. This is one I listened to while driving and doing chores so I’d like to sit down with a print copy some time and dig through it a little more.

Antigonick by Sophocles, translated and reworked by Anne Carson. I love Antigone and Anne Carson so this was just entirely delightful. I really recommend watching the live performance here while you read along with the script!

Did Not Finish:

I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid. Really enjoyed the nonlinear storytelling and subject matter but I put the book down for a month and was completely lost when I tried to pick it back up again so it’ll have to carry over into next year’s reading list!

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado. Just as excellent and unsettling as Her Body, but the narrative hit a little too close to what I went through with my most recent relationship to the point where every chapter made me physically ill so I had to put it down for my own wellbeing. Lol. Someday I’ll return to it. Not this year.

Dead Girls: Essays on Surviving an American Obsession by Alice Bolin. Very disappointing. First few essays were interesting and well written but this is not a cohesive collection and had very little to do with the pitched premise.

This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno. The plot sounded intriguing but I just found the first few chapters a slog. Could be persuaded to give it another shot but it’s not high on my list.

[pattysplaceofplaces]

Can you please make a Carmen x Ivy piece? It would be awesome!

-Anon 1

Stormed In Confession

Carmen x Ivy

[Author’s Note: Gay]

     “Geez…I thought the weather was always nice in San Diego.” The red head grumbled to herself as she dunked the teabag into the water. Living in Boston meant she was no stranger to rain or snow storms but that was usual for Boston. San Diego was known as a place that mimicked tropical weather. Yet the thunder outside told a different story. 

Despite getting deathly sick from the cold, VILE wouldn’t wait for Carmen and would still continue their misdeeds. Which was why Zach and ShadowSan were out while Ivy volunteered to stay behind. 

Carmen wasn’t as pale as she first was and she was regaining her strength yet she wasn’t in the condition to carry out a caper just yet. Ivy placed the tea down on the coffee table and went over to the couch where Carmen resided. “Still asleep, huh?” She sighed. “There’s nothing wrong with that…It’s just-“ Why did she feel the need to hold back? It’s not she would be heard, the girl next to her was fast asleep. “I’m just worried about you. I know you’ll bounce back eventually but still…You have the worst habit of pushing yourself.” Ivy chuckled sheepishly, looking down at the floor. “I wish I could be more like you and less like, well-Me.” Her hand slowly reached forward, worried that Carmen might wake up. “All I’m good for is a diversion and a disguise.” 

Ivy took her hand. “I panic yet you always stay calm.” She closed her eyes, taking in the moment. The harsh rain tapping onto the windows, the soft hushing of the wind, it was bittersweet. Cruel. She loved Carmen more than anyone, she would give herself to VILE if it meant they would leave her alone. Ivy wanted to tell her everything, the feelings that had been tormenting her for years. This was her secret, one that she would keep locked up. So many things could go wrong if she did confess. What if she ruined her friendship with Carmen? What if Carmen got so angry she kicked her and Zach out of the team? That can’t happen again, they would be right back at square one. It wouldn’t be fair to Zach.

Yet everything was too strong, she couldn’t possibly ignore it now. She looked at Carmen with a sorrowful expression. At least she would be asleep. 

“I love you.” 

A tan hand tightened around her own, one eye opening. “Have you been here every time I was asleep?” Carmen sat up, stifling her chuckle. “You are such a dork.” She leaned closer while Ivy was completely starstruck. “I’ve been awake for a bit but I didn’t want to ruin your moment.” Freckled cheeks became reddened as she looked away. “You heard all of it..? I’m so sorry.” Carmen shook her head. “Don’t be, I wasn’t sure how to tell you either.” 

The irony got to both of them in a fit of giggles. They leaned on each other for support, eyes never leaving each other. Ivy should speak her mind more often.

[eater-of-g3nders]

live-blogging my reaction to the bad guys

i love the music and the animation!!! and it’s only been thru the first minute

i love the characters already omg lol

i thought this would b a world full o furries but ok

“go bad or go home” fuck yeah

“best bud” ur gay.

SPOODER she’s so cute

I LOVE THESE GUYS OMG

wolf is incredibly gay for snake i know it when i see it

sick burn lmao

she definitely knows it’s a disguise tho

oh there is no way they’re pulling THIS heist off

it looks like he sucked his dick instead of beating him up hdbsjdkvmxks

WHAT WAS HE THINKINGGGGGG

HAHAAAAAAAAAA PRAISE KINK

OMG THEY DID IT WHAT

haha no they didnt

wolf is so cool

“i wonder who’s butt it is” ur mums

SHARK JUST FUCKING VORED SNAKE i just know there’s r34 of that

LOL WOLF GOT HIT BY A BUS

ok so what’s HER deal? why can she steal?

oh my god THEYRE FUCKING GAYYYYYYYYUH

piranha’s improv <333333

really? 12345

OH MY GOD THE DANCING FUCK YEAH

THIS SONG IS AWESOME

snaaaaaake ur bf is dancing with another person r u upset

shit everything is gonna go WROOOONG

fuckkkkkkk what the shit

“RAAHHHHHNNNNN” lmaooo

MARMALADE WHERED U GO

lmao it was him

“EHS NAWT A BAHTT” fucking brit

i fucking love this movie

“S.U.C.M.”? more like S.U.C.M.Y DICK

wolf describing his praise kink is gonna trigger a panic attack

THEYRE BREAKING UP NOOOO GAWD DAMNIT

oh hi diane nice to see you in prison

HOLY SHIT SHE HAS A COOL ROBBER NAME FUCK YEAH

they’re done they’re over they’re never getting back together 😭😭😭 (not exclusively about wolf n snake)

SNAKE NOOOOOOOOOOOO

wolf plz become the next carmen sandiego

wlw and mlm solidarity it’s canon i’m diane’s wife

snake go get back with ur boyfriend

SNAKE YOU DUMBASS

SNAKE YOU ASSHOLE

lmao they’re so fucking gay-snake is taunting his ex by showing off his new bf

at least they reunited

THE LITTLE KITTY N THE SUNGLASSES AWWWWWWWW

diane marry me please

OH MY GOSH DIANE AND WEBS <3333333

ranh stfu

“mostly Youtube 🫤” LMAO

give them a moment diane, they’ll return it

“SNAAAAAAKE!!!” GAYER THAN ME AND IM REALLY GAY

“i love you too, buddy.” LOVE STORY OF THE CENTURY

SNAKE U GENUIS

SNAKE I LOVE YOUUUUUU

also wolf x snake 4evs

“SHEES THA PAUHHHH :[!!!”

HAAAA WOLF SET SNAKE UP LMAO

awkwafina is soooo gr8

LILY SINGH WAS IN THIS MOVIE??????

dianeeee let’s gooooooo

KITYYYYYYYY

HIT THAT PLAY BUTTON WEBZ!!!!!

anywho i’m done i loved it

[hannahsmusings]

Renee

*Jade lets out a laugh and flips her hair off her shoulder* I do fancy everyone but Renee is different. She just has an air about her. Like I said, we made eye contact, and it’s all I thought about for a week. I’m hoping tonight she’ll actually talk to me. Wore this little skirt just for the occasion. *she laughs as Jen and Carmen both reprimand her for her horniness, rolling her eyes playfully at them before ordering the three of them another round of drinks from the bartender* *thirty minutes go by before Carmen gets the text that Lindsey was arriving, everyone hiding and the room going black, everyone standing up and shouting surprise when Lindsay walked in, it clearly being successful since Lindsey was clearly shocked and surprised* *the three of them rush over to greet their friend, there being many people at the party, Lindsey being pretty popular*

*I was so happy that this surprise party went off so well, having been distracting Lindsey all day with a shopping spree and an expensive lavish dinner, telling her I was only in town for this so she’d be more willing to spend her entire birthday with me and not worry about her other friends, the lie having gone off perfectly* *I was standing with a group of my girlfriends, having been traveling for a good part of the past month so I hadn’t seen any of them in a while, so happy to be back in the city and here to celebrate my best friend and let loose for a night* *I throw my head back in laughter at something one of my friends said, my hair down and effortlessly wavy, my outfit fitting me perfectly like a glove, not a single hair out of place*

________________________

*raises a brow at Jades words, chuckling and shaking my head with a laugh, Jade always having a crush going on at any one time but the way she was describing you made you sound goddess like, intrigued to see what you looked like if it was having this affect on Jade* *we talk and drink for the next 30 minutes before being ushered to hide and calling out surprise when Lindsay enters with you, caught up in the cheers and joy before my eyes get caught on you, feeling struck to the floor for a moment as my gaze automatically takes you in, lingering eyes on your figure and your olive skin, and your eyes, god your eyes, I was completely encapsulated* *breath caught in my throat as my heart hammers in my chest, overwhelmed with a sudden gay panic as you were without doubt the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, feeling so invigorated by your presence but also shying away from the strength of this feeling, feeling so plain in comparison* *you had such a magnetising effect, the power over the room was obvious as you glide through it so gracefully, watching you laugh and knees feeling weak, wondering who this mystery woman was??* *it was getting very loud and busy in here with all the new people and after the surprise, needing a bit of air as my attraction to this stranger was overwhelming, still coming to terms with being bisexual and this was like a hit in the face, feeling flushed as I slip away with the excuse of going to the toilet but actually I head out towards the balcony, taking in a deep breath*

[zibiscusloon]

What are some fun facts you have about knifekid?

Angst AND fluff?

Knifekid: Please, Zibi, just let me have one good day..

Me, angst in hand: Oh my gosh again? Give it a rest buddy-

{_💕🧀Fluff🧀💕_}

-As I’m sure you all know, he loves cheese. He’s also able to describe every single difference in all kinds of cheese and judges any cheese hater who doesn’t have the excuse of being lactose intolerant. His favorite is mozzarella.

-Along with being a fan of horror novels, Knifekid is surprisingly a big sap for romance novels. Chippy likes to tease and poke fun at him for it, since it clearly comes from him being a pining fool- he denies this though-

-He likes to try knitting due to his needle hands. Granted, he isn’t good at it per say, but he’s doing his damn best! (He’s working on making all his friends scarfs-)

-My boy goes limp at any form of affection. He’s not used to it so he’ll just stand there like a deer in headlights, congrats, the boy is now confused yet also ecstatic.

-His childhood best friend Carmen taught him how to tap dance back at the asylum, he never did it a lot back then, but now that he doesn’t have his folks constantly breathing down his neck, if he’s pulled onto a dance floor he is not getting down for any reason.

-He has a craving for familial love and even though he’s still working towards finding his own home, his friends have all placed themselves in his life as his found family.

-His gay awakening was over a cute boy he’d met at the asylum. Said boy was one of the lucky few that actually got out, as his parents family eventually won back their custody of him, but Knifekid had a big dummy crush none the less and that “Oh shit-“ realization.

-He’s strong enough that he can just pick anyone in the group up. His favorite to live is Mugsy of course- but he’ll also come over and randomly pick Cuphead or Chippy up if his “they’re about to do something stupid” senses start tingling.

-He’ll eventually be getting a permanent residence and an actual home in Disaster Utensils! But that’s spoilers so y’all ain’t gonna know when or with who 🤫

-More on his reading adventures, Knifekid is not a Shakespeare fan. He will rant to you about the stupidity and dumbassery of the characters all day if you let him. Only play he likes is Macbeth cause he deems Lady Macbeth badass.

-He’s a blanket thief! Lad likes to be cozy.

{_🖤🔪Angst🔪🖤_}

-He’s honestly a lil jealous of all his friends. Since all of them have legal guardians. He wants a eccentric theatre dad like Newsie & Sloane. He wants a mildly strict but ever protective mum like Chippy and Amara. Hell! He’d like a cooky old granddad on top of that! Life’s just not that fair sometimes..

-He can’t sleep without the door cracked open. Being closed in a room makes him start to feel anxious and uncomfortable, and sends his head right back to his room in the asylum. He wants to know there’s always an exit.

-Any sort of thunder or lighting is able to send him into a panic attack. He’s had.. rather unpleasant experiences with electricity in the past..

-He only ever stuck around with Bowlboy due to how desperate he was for some kind of connection. Even if their relationship was rather give and take.

-He’s distrustful if any sort of law enforcement. His parents always integrated into his head how anyone he told about his situation would take their side, as he would be a spiteful lil runaway, and he’d be returned right back them..

-He has a huge complex of viewing himself as a monster, this of course stemming from his dad reminding him of it every single day.

-Another one of his functions was tracking down escapees in the asylum, a few of which were either injured or killed in the process. As everyone knew he was practically the Scal’s guard dog, this further isolated him from the other patients of the facility..

-He’s become so agitated with his claws before.. that he’s tried to.. break them off. He got fed up with them hurting himself, with them hurting others, he just wanted them gone! ..Sloane stopped him before he managed to hurt himself like that..

[outlaw-baby]

okkkaaayyy here's another little something. i just watched all of the bear, probably inspired by the dream i had (yk the one where i felt an intense crush towards carmen from the bear mixed with a professor I TAed for its whatever). here is how i want season three to start:

first off it opens with gay sex. thats fucking right carmen?? carmy?? he's fucking a man [salute emoji]

there's basically no context at first but jeremy allen white is acting his fucking ass off getting into this sort of fumbling, messy gay sex. there's some typical awkward dialogue, carmy is a little self deprecating, it's a little tender. they stumble through carmen's spare apartment, trip on some jeans idk. for a minute he's a little relaxed

that's right bisexual reveal ep 1

NEW YORK appears on screen

yes it is a sort of prologue, no fucking context on opening night bby but guess the fuck what? we do know carmy is biSEXUAL INNIT. and odds are good they'll pull some shit like this just watch (too cowardly to make carmen bi ofc)

i imagine the first sex scene has a funky song playing in the back and when we transition from "NEW YORK" to, ya, the kitchen there is a jarring lack of noise.

there is only the subtle clicking of silverware and the lightest sound of carm breathing as he's hovered over a plate with tweezers arranging things just so

the breathing, controlled steady, juxtaposes ofc his breathing during his gay sex

side note i will accept now that carm is bisexual and maybe there's something happening with sydney but also maybe jeremy allen white shouldn't be allowed to kiss ayo, have we considered that? so he can pine infinitely as she realizes she deserves better :)

Back to it, capital C Chef is revealed to be hovering over carmy's shoulder insulting him etc etc

i imagine much of the episode is a sort of day in the life at this restaurant, close up shots of elaborate food, finnicky plating, the ever looming presence of this guy who fucking seethes with hating carmy

during a smoke/panic attack break in an alley carmen is confronted with Chef who like pushes him against the wall, stands uncomfortably close and whispers insults into carmy's ear. carm only replies with yes chef. there are some uncomfortable seconds as we are so close up to jeremy allen white's face (is it just me or can u just like not look too close at the guy for too long?). anyways noise wise the chaos of the city (since it has been silent save for breathing and dialogue) slowly creeps in more and more and more until it is overwhelming and becomes piercing white noise

quick cut to the quiet, clicking calm of the kitchen

i imagine the actual running plot is that carm is being blamed for a kitchen related problem (he is verbally abused for his lack of focus by Chef). something along the lines of a new gelatin thing has to be made bc they can't find the old one and things are running late but it is the eerie calm of simmering anger.

"You fuck up everything," hisses chef. click, click, click and the kitchen runs on

The reveal will be the gelatin thing was behind something the whole time. the viewer definitely sees it but carmy does not. i think it is implied that either a) Chef did it or b) another lower case c chef did it bc of a sort of toxic jealousy within the ranks (despite carmy being abused) or c) and perhaps most interesting is that it was someone else's over site, just an accident, a mislabel but we see the correct label on the back or it just fell to the ground and carmy meanwhile blames himself

but it is mostly atmospheric, meant to hypnotize, meant to get you into the rhythm of this kitchen that is almost soothing, so cool and clean and finessed as to be sacred only for this toxic, leeching presence to ruin any sense of calm

the guy carmy fucked texts again, a scene at night with carmy in his apartment, but carmy throws his phone, screams and crumples to the floor.

cut to carmy crumpled on the floor similarly in the fridge still

Episode ends with carmy's inglorious release from the fridge and who is it but a handsome refrigerator repair man named terry?

The season arch is all abt carmy re-embracing his bisexuality after repressing it due to the toxic homoerotic work place abuse he faced which makes sense thematically IMO as the s2 ending shows him falling into a spiral abt how he can't have relationships and love

In typical bisexual fashion he awakens his relationship with hero terry while also realizing the deepness of his feelings for sydney but too bad she is Not interested but he can experience that ig and in the end his respect and love for her allows their platonic relationship to be stronger