#cloud unintentionally being funny

[depression-napping]

If only Cloud knew what he was saying and to whom

Just you try it, baby boy

(Edited for bigger pictures)

[2-dsimp]

Who would baby trap mc? Asking for science.

🤓

『Featuring Babytrapping with the Hitman Team』

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Cw: 🔞NSFW MDNI! Fem reader! Baby trapping,

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Would Babytrap you intentionally

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Bjorn the Strategist: As the strategist of the team it’d only be fitting for him to intentionally plan. On knocking you up to make sure you’ll forever be inclined to stay with him. But only after doing some intensive research about child rearing and pregnancy. So he’s able to provide you with everything you may need and ensure that both you and his child are safe and sound.

Yujin the hacker: he’d be upfront with you on his plans of knocking you up. With a childish grin on his face, the hacker will straight up tell you that he’s going to get you pregnant. So that he can finally get a tasteful of your breast milk. His openness would dupe you into thinking he was joking since Yujin’s always been a prankster at times. So really you can’t blame him if he did exceed in doing exactly as he told. since he made sure to give you a prior notice ahead of time.

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Would Babytrap you unintentionally

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Ossian the sniper: don’t get me wrong he loves you dearly. So much in fact that in his sleep. He’ll go as far as to make sure you feel how deep his love for you goes until you’re filled up like a cream puff. The funny part is that when you’re holding up a positive pregnancy test in Ossian’s face he’d think he was dreaming. And would promptly wish aloud that he’d never wake up. Since the dream of having a family with you would make him feel as if he’s floating on cloud nine.

Vincent the Enforcer: would be so wrapped up in how good you felt going in raw. That he’d completely forget to pull out, and would mutter apologies underneath his breath. Whilst continuing to bust his thick spurts of jizz inside your squelching cunt. Saying how he can’t help himself and promising with butterfly kisses. Against your neck that he’d be a good daddy and take care of both you and the baby.

Danny the boss: this otaku cannot cope with how turned on you make him feel on a daily basis. He’d be so desperate to have more of you, to get balls deep inside. That place he calls heaven in between those thighs of yours. To the point of where his fat tip would break through the condom and make him nut prematurely inside you. From instantly being exposed to your depths. After Seeing the positive pregnancy test, Danny would faint like a damsel in distress. Due to an extensive nosebleed at the mere vision he had of you having baby bump. His baby bump

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Wouldn’t try to Baby trap you.

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Moros the Torturer: would never try to baby trap his sunshine. He’d want to make sure of having kids is what you’d so desire. So if you want kids you’ll have to reassure Moros constantly that you’d want to have a family with him. Since he’d hate to do anything that would cause you any kind of harm or discomfort. He knows that pregnancy can affect you long term and is well versed in the risks. So he’d never put your wellbeing in jeopardy despite how he truly yearns for a big family.

Koji the medic: is meticulous when it comes to sex, he’ll make sure that no happy accidents. will happen under his watch since he doesn’t particularly like to idea of having kids. Nor does he plan to entertain the idea of losing his dearest nurse to birthing a parasite. If push comes to shove he’ll definitely choose to toss the whole kid away than to ever risk lose his darling.

[lovelytsunoda]

bare feet on linoleum // pato o ward

summary: when the voices in her head get loud, pato is there to keep her grounded

pairing: pato o ward x female reader

warnings: mentions of intrusive and anxious thoughts. title taken from the poem by lana del rey.

it always happened when she had nothing else to think about.

today, she was sitting at the dinner table, surrounded by her extended family. the trip home had been long awaited, and now she sat with her grandparents and her cousins, her four-year-old niece perched on the stool at the end of the table, a euros match playing softly from the small tv in the background.

nothing had even triggered it. in fact, it was almost a decision her mind made of its own accord: you have nothing else to think about right now, why don’t we get distressed?

in an instant, the vivid thought took over, a sucky feeling coating her limbs. she felt sluggish, clutching her hand into a fist next to her salad. her eyes seemed to cloud over as she missed something her grandad said (although it was probably a line of conversation she didn’t want to follow).

“amorcito?” patos voice was quiet, his hand reaching to unclench hers. she was gripping her knife in a white knuckled grasp, and he was worried she’d hurt herself, albeit unintentionally. “where’d you go, pretty girl?” his words were soothing, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on her skin.

she took a deep breath, attempting to let the thought go and bring herself back to the present moment. “sorry. I just got a little lost in my head there for a minute. my brain has decided to be a bitch today.”

“hey,” pato kept his voice low, gentle fingers slipping through hers to cradle her hand. “none of that. do you want to talk about it?”

she shook her head, voice crackly as the thought bounced around, turning the inside of her head into an echo chamber. “not particularly.”

pato nodded. he wasn’t going to push her, knowing she was scared of being judged for the thoughts that caused her distress, even if the rational part of her brain knew that her sweet boy was the last person who would judge her for anything. if she didn’t want to talk about the thought, however big or small, because sometimes they were small things that felt like big things, the least he could do was hold her close and remind her that she was more than her thoughts.

“come here.” he said softly, slipping a warm arm around her shoulders, and allowing her to rest her weight against him.

she sighed into his embrace, feeling his arm wrap around her as she gripped his hand tighter, desperately trying to redirect her thoughts, searching for something else to focus her mind on.

patos lips were warm against her forehead, the subtle mexican lilt to his voice soothing as he spoke “you are more than your bad thoughts. whatever it is, it will pass, okay my love?”

she nodded, turning to press a quick kiss to the skin on patos neck. just being in his arms was helping relieve the bad feeling. she no longer felt shaky, a contented warmth filling her veins. her mind cleared, though it still felt hazy as she thought about her boyfriend.

“think about something good.” he encouraged, the pair still oblivious to the world around them. “what book are you reading right now?”

she thought about it, her mind travelling to the wholesome crime caper she had started the night before, her mind honing in on the troupe of meddlesome old ladies attempting to solve a murder.

she also thought about her niece, who had just said something rather funny about prawns that she managed to catch through the haze of her mind.

she laughed along with the group, slowly coming back to herself as england scored a goal in the match that still played near the kitchen sink.

while her cousin and grandparents began to cheer, she turned to pato.

“thank you.”

he smiled softly, resting his forehead against hers. “you don’t need to thank me, amorcito. I’m always here when you need me.”

“y/n,” her cousin started “do you want to help me move the plates?”

if nicole had caught on that yn was lost in her head, she didn’t show it, but yn was thankful for another task to do. something to keep her busy.

after the table had been cleared, the football match relocated to another tv, her niece curled up in the couch with her father, yn stood in the dining room doorway, leaning against pato and allowing her mind to wander again, this time into what she hoped would be happier territory: one filled with visions of her own future.

as the match reached half time, natalie reached into the record cabinet, putting on a soft folksy record by a british artist yn had never heard of.

when the soft music began to play, pato folded yn into his arms, beginning to sway softly back and forth as he held her. she would always feel safe in his arms, shrouded in a sense of calm that was like nothing else as she rested her head against his chest.

when she was with pato, all of her insecurities, all of her anxiety, all of her negative thoughts, fell away. he’s, the odd negative thought would always find its way through, but pato would be there for her through it all.

when she was with pato, she was just her.

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @userlando @thatsdemko @httpiastri

[cathedral-of-sinners]

I humbly request a Tighnari NSFW alphabet please whenever you're free and if you're willing to dear author!

Tighnari, Tighnari, Tighnari, Ti-

For him, I'm always willing <3 (being free and having motivation was a different story though lol)

CW: gn!reader (no pronouns/genitalia mentioned), reader can be either sub/dom and top/bottom depending on the letter, creampie (C)

— Tighnari: Full Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He's deliciously buzzed, so high on cloud nine that he doesn't want to come down. His head will drop to rest on your shoulder or in the crook of your neck, trying desperately to inhale as much of your scent as possible. You’ll even catch his tail flicking gently like a happy puppy’s would, something you can't ever bring up outside of the moment or else he'll never recover (not to mention the teasing Cyno would bring if he ever somehow heard of this habit lmao). Once he's collected himself though he grows insanely soft, ears relaxing as he places a kiss on your forehead, asking if anything hurts or if you want anything. Food, some water, medicine or a warm/cool cloth, he had it all set up on the nightstand before you started and reaches for what he needs before curling up beside you, tail wrapping around you in some way.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)

Your shoulders and arms! Adores when you wrap your arms around him both in and out of the bedroom, their presence something he simply really enjoys. Loves when he can bury his nose in your shoulders too, careful though, he's a biter ;)

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Addicted to cumming inside or on your stomach. The way his seed dribbles and dots your skin makes his head swirl - as for inside? He could pass out from how good it feels to stuff you full <3

D = Dirty Secret

Has very big thoughts and feelings about teasing you all day with a toy. Wants you to roam the forest or into the city as he stays and does some paperwork in his home, the knowledge that you're no doubt struggling to keep it together until you get back at the forefront of his mind. By the time you get home he can smell the arousal dripping from you as he turns and smirks. Don't worry, he rewards generously to well behaved individuals :)

E = Experience (How experienced are they?) 

Honestly could see him as both a virgin and not. Like, there's the idea that he's not interested in sex at all during his studies and then when he became a Forest Watcher there was both no time and no one that piqued his interest. But then I think he could also be the kind to have a one-night type thing once or twice while he was in school. He’s an I do want when I want kinda guy in some ways after all.

THEN AGAIN!! Fennec foxes mate for life sooooo, there’s that… but other than that he’s had plenty of moments when the topic came up in his research or conversations he’s overheard (both willing and unwillingly), therefore he’s really only lacking in the practice aspect.

F = Favourite Position

Lotus!! This is mainly because of how close the position makes you both, chests pressed up against one another, every breathe felt and every noise of pleasure heard. Plus, like mentioned before, it lets Tighnari rest his head on the crook of your neck, drowning him in everything that is you.

A close second is doggy style.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

He’s sassy no matter where he is (man has no fear honestly) so I’m damn certain he’ll unintentionally (or even intentionally) be funny during the moment. For the most part though he’s pretty serious.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) 

*chef's kiss* he is very well-groomed. Tighnari takes extremely good care of both his ears and fluffy tail, so it’s only right he takes equal care down below. Firm believer that his pubes are the same shade as his tail and not a mix like his hair or solid black. Pretty clean shaven, the thinnest of bushes present.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

He can be very romantic when he wants to be!! Holds your hand, kisses you all across the face, down your neck, across your chest, he’ll whisper praise and compliments in your ear, all the things like that!

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t jerk off much simply because he doesn’t feel the need to. The only times he would are if you’re not available (like out of town unavailable) or if he’s in a rut and you’re just taking too long to come home :((

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Marking: He's a bitter like I said but Tighnari also likes to admire the scratches left on both of you after an intense round. Really likes to trace them with his eyes as you both cuddle or as he takes care of them.

Breeding: I’m totally not adding this because of his fennec fix urges lmao (I am a little), but it doesn’t matter what you got downstairs, your hole will be stuffed with his cum to the point of overflowing.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Tighnari isn't picky about where you do it but he favors the bedroom slightly above the rest. It's just far more comfortable and there's less of a chance of being interrupted by a patrolling Forest Ranger or some random hiker

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Let him drown in your scent and he's yours. Also, he’s really sensitive when you kiss or drag your tongue over his Adam’s Apple ;)

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

He likes the risk but he's not stupid enough to risk your safety. He likes to play around with strange mushrooms and flowers but if he doesn't know everything about them - effects, antidotes, the like - then he's not bringing it around you. (But that’s honestly what any good lover would do).

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Honestly??? He’s got no preference. However, there is one pro when it comes to sucking him off: you get to see his ears cutely twitch.

A natural when he goes down on you. It’s partially due to his boldness and lack of hesitation. With minimal kitten licks, he dives right in like he might die if he doesn’t get a taste of you right that second. Bonus points when he looks up at you through his lashes too - it's really a sight to behold.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He's honestly a mixed bag, he can go either way most days. It also depends on the circumstances: did you tease him? How much time do you both have on your hands? What are your preferences in the moment? As a default though he leans slightly more on the fast side.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

"Really? Now? Right before I'm suppose to leave for patrol?" He'll act like it's an inconvenience but really he doesn't mind. If either you or he are feeling needy before one of you have to leave or are expecting company he's not opposed to busting out a quick round. Just to satisfy you both until later where you have all night to play.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Again, dude's got no fear. Can and will fuck anywhere he wants (with your consent of course). Forest? Hell yeah. In the Akademiya? Oh how it’d piss the higher-ups off! Tighnari also doesn’t mind introducing new things he thinks you might like or something he wants to try, always opening up with “there’s something I’d like to try, if you’d let me?”.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

Tighnari in heat can go for what feels like forever even though it’s really only a mighty 7 or 8 rounds. When he’s not in heat however, the Forest Watcher averages about three. He’s always able to take some time before orgasming.

T=Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

KINKY TIGHNARI 🥵😫 (I thought it once and I’m never going to let it go, it’s permanently stuck in my head)

Owns every fucking toy under the sun (exaggeration but damn close to the truth). Loves using them and doesn’t mind bringing them into the bedroom with you either. For himself, has a favourite combo between a dildo and a cock ring (vibrating or not doesn’t matter to him). He just fucking loves bouncing on it, hitting that one sweet spot with the added stimulation from the ring.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Nodding my head vigorously. He so loves to tease you. “What? Did you really think I was going to touch you? Just like that? You’ve got me all wrong.”

Fucking loves teasing your nipples too. No explanation, it is what it is.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

If you manage to catch him off guard he’ll moan really loudly and slutty before growing red at the lewd sound ;) Tighnari whines and whimpers more than he does moan. He’s usually not too load but when he gets lost in pleasure, drunk on you, he can get pretty loud that people passing by will hear it

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Enjoys seeing you in lingerie and would die a happy fox if you surprised him in a black set, body draped along his bed as you await for him to unwrap his unexpected gift.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Average length, ‘bout 5 to 5 and a half inches. Definitely has a little more girth to it though. Has a prominent vein that travels along the side of his dick. Is a grower.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not overly high, like it’s there but its also not. Before meeting you and before things in Sumeru calmed down there was just so much to do. Withering Zones, Elezar, the Akademiya constantly bothering him, the list goes on. The only time it's high is during the season *wink wink*

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

After catching his breath, going through the motions of caring for you both and finally laying down, Tighnari is asleep after 10 to 20 minutes, provided there’s minimal post-sex talk. He doesn’t mind chatting so if you do then he’s out after about 45 minutes.

Tag list: Not a Soul

If you'd liked to be tagged in any future works lmk via comment, DM or my askbox!

[pearlprincess02]

pisces sun, capricorn moon, leo rising, aquarius mercury, aries venus, aquarius mars

pisces sun: pisces suns are artistic, creative and wise; they're dreamers. these people are very empathetic, sensitive, compassionate and intuitive. pisces tend to adjust their personalities according to the environment which surrounds them. these individuals are in tune with their spiritual side and they like to help vulnerable people. they are escapists and have their heads in the clouds 24/7. pisces suns have the tendency to be easily used, so they must learn to put more limits on their lives. it's important to find a purpose in life and learn to value themselves.

capricorn moon: having their own way of living. unintentionally funny jokes. knowing a topic randomly well and being great at explaining. practical and smart, always knowing the best way out. doing things no one else wants to do or has failed to notice. fixing one’s hair for them. coffee and the prettiest shades of brown.

leo rising: leo rising tend to have a buttery yellow skin tone that's glows golden in sunlight. leo rising tend to look better in sunlight and have a very confident smile. they have a beautiful laugh too and might laughing at any time. most of the leo rising i know tend to cut their hair often and have thick hair. not all of them obviously. but leo rising have noticeable hair. doesn't matter if it's short or long. generous people and always try to make everyone feel wanted and loved.

aquarius mercury: can be a bit judgemental, make strong opinions and judgements. but they are willing to change them if they want to. they're somehow both stubborn yet flexible about their beliefs.

aries venus: warrior queen, hellfire eyes, won't take no for an answer, upfront, hungry for action, red petals and lips, all eyes on her, can leave a burn or scar.

aquarius mars: visionary wizard with enticing charisma, pushing boundaries, special aurora and bedroom moves, erratic and strong-willed, sees the best in you, channeling passion into each other's minds and bodies

(@lukewarmchilipepper)

ᵒᵇˢᵉʳᵛᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵃʳᵉⁿ'ᵗ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ

[fullmoonfireball]

gave into the urge to redesign Madame Flurrie, oops.

design notes under the cut bc I like to ramble

I ultimately wanted to make her feel less... naked. and make her face look a bit less off, as aforementioned

the main way I tried to achieve the former is by making her breasts less. spherical. and making their form a bit more like they have some sort of clothing over them (even if there isn't actually any) as opposed to them just being Out. along with this, I made her bottom distinctly flare out a bit to make it look more like she's wearing a dress. I think dropping the neckline of her necklace also unintentionally contributed to this illusion.

I added a fluffy boa because it felt like it fit her both as a retired actress and a wind spirit since it can look kind of cloud-like! this choice was vaguely inspired by Misstar's ribbon-boa. most importantly, it also helps make her look less naked.

I decided to make her hair and face look less like certain koopalings while keeping the overall shapes intact. i have to imagine those resemblances were entirely accidental because they don't really make any sense with who Madame Flurrie is.

more jewelry, more gems! it helps make her lucky necklace stand out a bit, all while adding to the "glamour" factor.

also, I added the nozzle into her main design as some kind of jewelry because I think it's really funny. girl why do you have that

[kalims]

⊹ THOSE EYES | malleus draconia

premise. perhaps the universe really wants to keep him in the dark, unintentionally or not being forgotten yet again seems to be a frequent event in his life. parties aren’t for malleus anyways, nor are people.

but when he’s right next to you, a witness to your shine perhaps you’re the one for him.

content. gender neutral reader, fluff

wc. 4k

note. commissioned by faru who wanted to stay anonymous but wanted a nickname instead <3

sorry for being offline for a few. I was working on this hehe

lately, the skies seem gloomy, most people would think that it’s perfectly normal but there’s something oddly familiar about the hue of green beyond the dark, rainy clouds. besides the fact that the rain seems to fall on everyone else but you? your mind can’t help but drift to a certain horned man.

the timing seems appropriate. the weather has been like this plenty of times whenever malleus was in a particular, dejected mood. (you’d know because he’d have that certain tone. quiet and slow. If it wasn’t already obvious you can tell from the exaggerated huffs he emits, which you are starting to get suspicious of that he’s actually making it to get your attention.) speaking of malleus, you haven’t seen him around. not even a glimpse, which is surprising because he’s always trailing after you.

to the dismay of sebek who tried to tell malleus that sticking around a human like you, in his opinion: who apparently didn’t live up to the ‘young masters’ glory would lead to no good.

though you don't know what happened or why, you caught a moment of malleus staring in sebek's direction for a second and the latter immediately shut up and looked away. (presumably in shame? but you can't say.) you never really pondered on it seeing as malleus had whisked you away and distracted you with an easy smile.

you do agree with sebek. malleus' glory is unmatched, even if no one bothers to befriend him everyone notices. his mere presence is so strong that everyone can feel him coming, and when he does they stop and stare. even the gods agree! they seem to want everyone to know that malleus is favored.

amongst.. other means besides social.

he's destined. you don't know why he's referring to you as a ray of light in his darkness when he's practically binding everyone. at some point, his power had reached such a level that his emotions can affect the weather.

it's funny. you think, with such a poker face malleus is really expressive.

the sun seems to illuminate its rays brighter when he's happy, you can see its light even from beyond the clouds covering it. it dims in comparison when he's sad, and right after it loses its color it rains for long periods that the weather forecast was being canceled for not being able to predict it.

you've seen lots of people be a victim of this. be it a student grumbling away, soaking wet from the unexpected pour, or the other crying about their now-wet project.

when he's angry the clouds are darker, and the amount of lightning striking depends on the level of his rage. even you can say that being caught in the middle of it is no good when you're trying to predict where the next one will hit.

but it was strange. this week was chaotic, on monday the sun was blaring all the way to tuesday. you were just glad he seemed to be in a good mood until it started raining around the afternoon of wednesday. it just started pouring so fast out of nowhere that the lightning had actually frightened you because the rain was never accompanied by it.

you've only been in diasomnia a few times.

but.. this time you're quite surprised and it's not because of the beauty of the dorm.

the weather was so stormy that you were afraid you were gonna start flying away. there weren't any students stationed before the bridge. you don't question it because how were they even gonna guard the gates when the wind is gonna be the one breaking it open?

it only meant one thing.

malleus was in the dorm, seeing as the dorm seems to be the core of the storm.

even when you're a little way over the dorm you could still hear sebek's yells. it wasn't like the trudge to the dorm was hard, contrary to your belief the wind only whipped your clothes around like crazy. so you weren't going to get flung anytime soon, your struggle though. was the question of whether you'd be able to hang onto your gift all the way there or not.

because you were holding onto that plastic bag with ice cream in it for dear life—praying that the dessert is the right kind of softness he liked.

the time you found out he liked the dessert was by pure coincidence. you had brought a whole cake in to eat whilst celebrating your birthday together with your friends. you were too distracted talking with one of them to notice the grimace on malleus' face once he took a bite.

you were shocked when he confessed after a while.

… no, not the kind of confession you're thinking about. (even though you'd admit you'd like it to be.)

"why didn't you tell me? ahh... I should have bought another dessert, I knew it. I'm so sorry they already ate the ice cream—"

he cuts you off. "there's no need. it won't hurt." he had said, pausing to add: "if it's for you I can do it."

that night you stayed up late staring off into your ceiling before burying your head in a pillow with a warm face. you didn't have a nightmare or a dream. but his face practically engraved it in your mind till all you could think of was malleus all day.

it was driving you insane!

even when you've reached the front door, sopping wet and dripping all over the front porch all you could think of was the fact that you haven't seen malleus all week. which you didn't really think would bother you if not for the fact that you were wrong in assuming how close you thought both of you were.

again, it was driving you insane as you could tell from the amount of thoughts you have of him.

you'd have to apologize to lilia. you know all about how the man hates getting his porch wet.

"oh my."

 oh well. looking like this was definitely not how you wanted to arrive at diasomnia. 

lilia casts a curious gaze at you, ears twitching when he takes in your appearance before his lips curve into an easy smirk. you're suspicious that he knows the reason for your sudden arrival. "If I'd known you were coming, I would have sent sebek for you." lilia sighs like a disappointed mother. he gives you a quick smile before looking back and yelling:

"sebek, be a dear and fetch me a towel would you?" 

you could vaguely hear a rush of heavy footsteps and you awkwardly just stare until sebek appears carrying a folded towel in his arms. you could emit a sigh if it wasn’t so freezing when sebek's face contorted to that of distaste when he saw you.

lilia with a knowing look merely shook his head. "don't just stand there, will you? we have a guest." he chimes and probably had enough cause he ended up snatching the towel right off the boy's arms.

who actually looked like he felt bad for a second.

lilia ushers you in after drying most of the droplets of water away, so you enter without much complaint. a towel wrapped around your body, over your shoulders. you clutch it like a blanket. looking around trying to look subtle.

this one is looking for him. lilia muses with an amused chuckle. you'd be surprised at how gloomy malleus' mood actually is, that boy had practically washed up the dorm with how long the rainy weather had kept going. lilia knew cater forgetting to invite malleus would have some damper to his mood.

but of course not to the extent.

you have perfect timing. lilia knows malleus considers you dear, perhaps even dearer than him and if lilia can't resolve his mood then you definitely can.

"ah that's right. what brings you to our humble abode?" lilia leads through the halls that lead directly to the main area. you clutch the towel a little tighter. feeling the embarrassment seep through your mind. were you gonna tell him that you all but ran to the nearest convenience store and bought a tub of ice cream for malleus because you figured he was upset?

talk about a test of courage.

you grimace. "I-uhm.. haven't heard from malleus so I got worried." 

lilia's face doesn't change from its laid-back nature.

"is he alright, by the way?"

the flicker of surprise in his eyes doesn't go unnoticed by you. "were you at all asim's party, prefect?" he asks, already drawing an answer from your confused face alone. it's not like he already doesn't know, you were nowhere seen at the party after all.

".. no?"

kalim in fact did invite you. but you weren't too fond of the idea when there was a pile of homework from the professors and another one from crowley sitting in ramshackle all alone with no one to do them. so you chose the option that would save you later, and make you suffer currently. 

(plus, you did promise to join malleus for a walk since he asked you earlier. but kalim doesn't need to know that, right?)

frankly, you're starting to get concerned with how many times malleus occupies your thoughts.

lilia places his chin in between his fingers with a hum. you listen to him keenly even when he sits you on the couch of the living room. "malleus got invited you see." that was a surprise to you. you smile from ear to ear. that's great for him! but you're expecting a 'but'.

and boy was there one. "but it was rescheduled earlier, you see." he closes his eyes and casts you a closed-eyed smile. for someone whose 'son' had been forgotten, he seems oddly relaxed about it.. and.. wasn't lilia part of the group inviting everyone else?

as if he reads your mind lilia makes sure to say, "cater was the one who said he's got informing malleus all covered. I'm afraid he had forgotten and the party had already finished." 

that's pretty.. sad.. no wonder the weather was more extreme than usual. malleus was probably feeling a mixture of sadness and anger. 

lilia's eyes drift downwards. and you curse when you realize where he's looking. "what's that you've got there?" somehow every word that comes out of lilia comes out jokingly like he's teasing you. 

there was no point in hiding it was there? you sigh and hand over the plastic to lilia who graciously takes it, spares one glance at it, and casts it aside to the table. probably planning to put it in the freezer for later.

it looks like he knows already but you still answer blankly. "ice cream for malleus."

he seems to brighten up after your clear display of intention. good thing sebek had ran back to his room after you stepped foot in the dorm because if he were here right now he probably would have been suspicious and assumed that you'd somehow put something in the ice cream.

"to cheer him up?"

".. yes."

"ah. how sweet. young love never fails to entertain me."

you sputter. "i—that's not.."

a look for lilia is all it takes for you to shut up. he shakes his head with a laugh. "as the youngsters say, 'denial is a river in egypt' do you get it? fufu.. quite funny." he giggles continuously but you can't help but think that he's trying to make a joke. you deadpan. "I do but that's not the point!" 

an unfunny joke clearly.

point is your practical son needs some severe cheering up if you just witnessed a tree get struck by lightning a while ago.

from your experience, the tea parties held by heartslabyul is a pretty nice way to unwind.

"does malleus like tea?"

he pauses. "why, yes. he's been raised as a noble after all."

never in your life have you been so stressed. you have to give props for riddle, cause you just found out how hard it is to actually organize a tea party. you don’t even wanna think about what jamil does, you swear he grows a white hair every time kalim throws a party.

nearly all desserts had some kind of association with ice cream, you made sure of it. though you do have to give credit to lilia since the man had graciously let you make use of his fridge to place them there until your scheduled tea party had arrived (honestly saving a bunch of residents from his.. ‘special’ meat.)

you had left sebek the job of informing malleus since you were sure that he was the only person that wouldn’t forget about him. the boy actually approved your choice of who you gave the job to and commended you.

but hey at least he liked it, right?

the guests were.. yet to arrive which is making you anxious because malleus himself was about 1 hour early to his own party.

when he approaches you there’s a clear look of joy. you’d fall over from the small, genuine smile of pureness on his face. you almost forgot to question yourself why in the hell he’s here when the party is scheduled to start in.. one hour.

you sweat. few of the desserts haven’t been taken out of the fridge yet to preserve them! "what.. are you doing here?" you nervously ask but malleus thankfully doesn't seem to mind.

"ah, lilia informed me." his eyes crinkled. "I am very happy to be here."

lilia that bastard.. but wasn't sebek supposed to inform him.. but even if sebek did you're sure that this man would have still shown up early.

now you're wondering what happened to poor sebek. that boy is either angry or devastated.

you find malleus' pure and innocent intentions a little endearing.

ㅤ

lilia stands in front of the door that malleus never really opened. ah that child, even in his absence for dorm leader meetings didn't upset him this much. lilia presumes that he must have looked forward to an invitation he hasn't had in.. a long time.

he raises a hand to knock. once, nothing. twice, nothing. lilia guesses he'll have to use that card.

"malleus dear, the prefect was just by here."

almost immediately there's shuffling behind the door and not a second later it creaks open to show the horned man's curious face. lilia smiles. one mention of you and he already responded.

this is is his non-verbal way of saying: 'where.'

malleus tilts his head and looks past lilia's shoulders, who then shakes his head and gains the former's attention back. "they are not here anymore if it is them who you're looking for." 

"ah."

almost immediately he comically deflates, and lilia resists holding a chuckle. 

"but they did leave something for you." the shorter male adds.

as if the energy in malleus comes back, he immediately brightens. the child of man left something? for him? oh.. malleus releases a long sigh. his heart could leap out of its chest and start dancing if it could.

although it pains him to leave your side malleus did just that. you could say that he was.. feeling under the weather and he doesn't want to face you in a state where his anger could possibly take over.

he does not know what he'll do if he hurts you.

people like you are a luxury that malleus doesn't often come across. it's not every day that he meets someone who doesn't falter at the sight of him or one whose eyes don't fly to his horns but to his eyes instead.

he wonders if you knew who he was at that time. would it be different? would you have turned and left him in the dust? malleus supposes there's no point in wondering about what could have been when all he wants is right here. 

lilia smiles fondly at him. "your favorite. they've left ice cream and an invitation for you."

just like that, all the sadness in malleus pours out like a continuous river never stopping. something warm thumps in his chest and it's all he can hear. it blooms until he can feel it crawl up to his hands and on the tips of his ears. something warm and worthwhile. 

then malleus realizes right then and there. why did he spend so much time worrying about it, since when did he care about the view of others? it's not his fault if they forgot. they should have been grateful that they had the privilege to talk so freely with him.

simple things should not strike such a nerve within malleus.

who needs the other people anyways when he's got everything in his hand? it's not like they have someone their entire being beats for.

but you. weren't you just perfect? malleus had never felt happier. "when and where is this invitation of theirs?" 

ㅤ

you deadpan. you should have never assumed that lilia wouldn't have heard your words to sebek. the walls of diasomnia have ears of their own after all.

you shake your head. "oh uh.. there's a few people that came early—" for once you're appreciative, cause god it would be awkward if it's only the two of you. you're not sure if it's because you'll be having an inner crisis during it or the lack of guests. 

as you can see you definitely weren't all that prepared. you see malleus smile at you from the corner of your eye when you lead him to a table and sit him down, the man doing so without many complaints. 

jamil knows when someone is looking at him. he knew he should have ran back into the kitchen when he saw you staring at him intensely. but before he could even escape you already— "jamil." you say, loudly and he winces.

"why don't you get the others to join us?" you smile at him thinly and jamil understood. there was no room for arguments. he sighs. for a person mysterious to the entirety of NRC you are pretty scary.

oh, fuck did you even look okay? because next to a quite literally sparking, shining man like malleus you feel like you're a bag of trash.

eventually, you find yourself with a strange group, an unlikely group. very weird group. despite malleus being the obvious exception (dare you say he's the most happiest.) there are looks across the table with varying degrees of disturbed, irritation, or just plain fear.

okay, so the fear is mainly from idia who you're surprised even showed up. scratch that. maybe it was just him being nervous?

malleus doesn't look bothered at all.

you laugh awkwardly. "uh.. fine weather we're having?" but two out of five react positively to your words. rook cracks a bright smile while malleus nods slowly.

"indeed! it has been a while since the skies have cleared up." rook chirps, and you sweatdrop. you and a few other people cast a glance at malleus who doesn't seem to be concerned, nor care about the second of attention.

oh god. how awkward, everyone here knows that he's the reason why the weather was so bad.

"I'm just glad it stopped raining." jamil comments, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. he's met with several mumbles of agreement. all you could say was, same. no more struggling to keep your school works under the umbrella.

malleus hums. "I must thank you for the invitation, child of man." he smiles at you and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to not let the similar face break out so obviously in yours. "you're welcome." 

jamil side eyes the two of you just staring at each other. if he'd known he'd end up being a witness to this.. subtle lovey-dovey stuff he would have never helped you and trey bake the few treats you asked them to in the first place.

plus rook absolutely eating up whatever you two were doing? yikes. god can kill him now.

speaking of trey he should be here suffering. he narrows his eyes.

.. right. "what are you doing here so early? hasn't lilia told you it starts later?" you inquire. it would also have saved you the trouble of creating a group to surround just one table for malleus. 

shortly, he replies. "I did not want to be late." malleus blinks at you and almost everything he does makes you swoon, you get to see a clear view of his crystal green eyes. "I also wanted to talk with you," he admits.

and.. essentially have you all to himself before everyone starts to hog you like moths to a flame. maybe that's how malleus got attracted to you as well.

should you be embarrassed that he just said that in front of jamil, rook, and 3 other people, or should you be rolling all over the ground out of joy?

"oh jeune amour!"

"woah."

"malleus-chi at it again earning love points.

"seriously." 

your lips wobble as you attempt to hold in the wide smile. you feel like the sun just flashed you in the face from the amount of heat you're feeling right now

"wh… do… uh.." 

you don't usually describe yourself as someone who freezes up like this but clearly, you're proving yourself wrong to assume so. "oh haha.." your finger flies to point at the newcomer to direct attention. "would you look at that? the desserts are ready." 

saved by trey who enters with a handsome smile. how in the hell is he balancing all those dishes with one arm? you have no idea. one step from you and all of those would have crashed down onto the ground.

then you'll blame gravity.

before you know it the tense atmosphere had melted into something warm. even jamil seems to have eased up, idia isn't hiding in the depths of his hoodie anymore, and rook is rook.

and malleus, despite his usual blank look has a faint lining of peace in his expression. it's rare to see it in a place so.. crowded? his lips quirk up further once he spots the dessert on the plate.

"ah, my favorite, tea and.. ice cream?" 

"and crackers." you make sure to add.

he chuckles. "and crackers."

everyone digs into their respective plates. besides malleus' favorite, you made sure to ask what kind of food they'd like to have at the party. it would be rather boring if it were just ice cream, wouldn't it?

well. the ice cream was for malleus only so.

you can't help but sneak glances every now and then. thoroughly enjoying the delighted look on his face when he eats another spoonful. you're suspecting that he might even ask if there's another batch.

coincidentally malleus looks at you the moment you look away. it's a repeating thing. you look, he's looking away. you look away and he looks at you. a never-ending cycle that just results in unsaid feelings.

but everyone knows that if there was ever a god that exists he always has a plan for it.

perhaps once the feelings you bore have bloomed into something mature and people would be the time when you could hold malleus in your arms and worry not about every single thing. it's not always you get to pine for someone.

so I will always love you until you're mine. he thinks. you will be.

malleus casts you a small smirk. "I am hoping you'll spare me that talk later."

"later, please. for now let me finish this." 

seriously. the food trey and jamil cooks are scrumptious. 

he watches you eat, chat with rook and idia with a smile. he can't seem to invite jealousy in his heart because of them when you've so clearly put in the effort to clear the troubles in his.

next time I shall prepare a feast and festival for you. he thinks seriously. 

but that's a plan for another day! one.. you're not exactly aware of.. yet...

[riririnnnn]

Plsplsplsplspls make headcanons for charles if you have the time UR WRITING IS JUST SO GOOD??

YO??? This was unexpected since I rarely write here. Well, I can't understand what type of headcanons you want, so I'm writing all three: Silly; As a romantic partner, and Red Flags.

-> Silly

He doesn't mind farting in front of everyone in the locker's room and then blames whoever he feels like for blaming. He'd even add a top-notch acting of being grossed out like, "What are you doing, dude? Have some manners!"

He has definitely pulled down someone's pants right in the middle of the Blue Lock's cafeteria and then ran away cackling like the little shit he is.

He pulls prank on a daily basis and the main victim of them is Tokimitsu. He tried pranking Zantetsu, but lost interest because that fake glasses boy never even understood his pranks in the first place.

He has never quietly entered that communal bathhouse bathtub (or whatever that is). He always dives or bodyslams into the water—he once nearly cracked open his skull while doing a summersault, but he never learns his lessons.

Loki put him on a child leash during the flight to Japan. He also threw a tantrum to sit on a window seat, but then whined later because he could only see clouds.

-> As a romantic partner

Loyal. Very loyal. In fact, he is so loyal that he legit finds every other person ugly except you. He is so, so whipped for you to the point he physically gags thinking about someone else.

He is definitely the guy to be at a party or anywhere else and suddenly, he misses you and drops everything to go running back to wherever you are.

Just forget personal space and breathing when you are with him because he is going to shower you with so many kisses on your face that you'll actually suffocate.

Little spoon or big spoon? He doesn't care as long as he can have his head on your chest. Your calming lub-dub of your heartbeat is the mellowest lullaby for him.

If you cook or bake something and send it for his WHOLE team, then I promise you, he isn't giving a single crumb to anyone. He is inhaling everything doesn't matter if he gets stomachache later because of overeating—it's worth it, according to him.

-> Red Flags

Be honest, we all saw it coming—yes, he is very immature. Everything is a joke to him and though at first, his personality may prevent fights and arguements, but in a longer run, it becomes draining because he doesn't take anything seriously.

If you don't find any of his 'interests' as interesting, then he'll whine and whine until you give in to his demands. However, he won't do the same for you if he isn't interested in your 'interests'. He'll just act indifferent.

He doesn't know anything about periods and he actually doesn't even try to learn about it. Even when you'll try to educate him about it, he would show no efforts and might even say that, "Girls are so dramatic."

He might indirectly, and maybe even unintentionally, humiliate you in public by talking about you in a crude or inappropriate way. Even when he is called out for it, he just thinks he is being funny.

When you'll break up with him, he'll defame your character in public. He'll make you look like the bad person, spread false rumours about you being unfaithful and will make sure his fans harasses you.

That's all, I guess.

It's a bit tough to write about him without making him seem OOC, to be honest.

I hope the above headcanons make sense.

[nono-bunny]

"The Fortuneteller" is such an interesting episode to me because like? Aunt Wu is never wrong in the end, kinda like how in "Jet" Sokka's instincts are always right as well- the show tries to play it off in the end by saying "sometimes they're right and sometimes they're not", but throughout the whole episode his instincts led him to eventually save an entire town! If they never ran into Jet, he WOULD have destroyed that town, not to mention how Jet does eventually change through his experiences with the Gaang, but! This isn't about Jet rn

Aunt Wu not seeing anything about romance for Aang while she DOES see it for Katara is strange to me if we're to assume he's the man she's ought to marry, because like? Wouldnt their fates be intertwined? Which is why it's a good thing I fully don't believe she WAS talking about Aang, and this episode unintentionally serves the anti-Kataang narrative so well its not even funny (well, okay, it's a little funny, seeing Aang get subtly rejected over and over is very healing). Even if we take out the fact that I believe she was talking about Zuko because, c'mon, he's a fantastic bender who already loves Katara a bunch by the end of the show (platonic? romantic? nevertheless they share an incredible bond)... The Avatar isn't the only "great bender" in the world by a long shot, and I'd argue Aang doesn't even qualify because of his poor work ethic and lack of interest in bettering himself, like- Aang is acknowledged by more ATLA fans than just me to be the weakest bender in the group (until he enters the Avatar state, at which point, he's just the weakest Avatar because he has no control of it) and? Yeah being born with the Avatar Spirit is never gonna be enough to become a great bender by itself, which is something even all the other Avatars aside from Aang seem to recognize, y'know?

I forget who it was, but I saw a post saying that in a better written show, this episode that has such a big focus on unreciprocated feelings would be when Aang recognizes his situation for what it is, recognizes seeing his own lack of interest in Meng when looking at Katara and her lack of interest in him, and have him start to accept that and move on, but... Aang ALWAYS shows himself to either be incapable of understanding or just straight up ignoring Katara's nonverbal cues, not to mention how he goes on to ignore her express vocalization of her discomfort with him, so.

This episode also has Bryke use Sokka as a mouthpiece to give a very incel-y feeling pick up artist lesson and? Yeah, what could I have possibly expected? For Sokka to show some consistency? He fr never takes his own "advice" here, it's so weird! He's always been very forthright about his feelings, so him teach Aang to play coy is so ooc for him unless the point they want to end up making is "love makes fools of us all", which. Doubtful

It's yet another episode with a morality lesson about "Destiny", but fr this one feels so weak when compared to Zuko's whole thing later on about CHOOSING his destiny, where we actually see him do it when he defies and upends his harmful legacy in favor of peace, because here? Here everything plays out as foretold, with a "you control destiny" messaging tacked on at the end- the cloud bending was cool, but I hate the implication that Aang legit goes on to twist and bend Katara to a shape he sees fit, right by his side forevermore, but... Yeah, that's fully what he does, so? Thanks a lot, I guess, Aunt Wu! Look what you did! He was the closest he ever comes to giving up in this episode, some tough love would've done the trick!!! But noooo, god forbid Aang has to face and acknowledge any sort of REAL rejection, Katara simply... Doesn't yet understand that her ultimate role in life is to end up as his trophy wife, that's all! God, fuck comics and LOK Katara!!!

[reclusivebookslug]

Bella Swan is Autistic: An Analysis

(Disclaimers: I enjoy Twilight in spite of its problematic elements, not because of them or in ignorance of them. There are as many different ways to be autistic as there are autistic people. Many allistic people will relate on some level to some aspects of the autistic experience; this does not make them autistic. This is all just my opinion, based on my experience as a late-diagnosed, low-support-needs autistic woman. I am aware this is not a brand-new original idea.)

I reread Twilight (I think for the first time since getting diagnosed 4 years ago) and I found a bunch of things I relate to Bella about. Below the cut is a list of some of her autism-related character traits with quotes for textual evidence. The links lead to articles explaining how these traits relate to autism. The list is ordered chronologically based on page number of the accompanied quotes. Page numbers are based on the paperback edition with ISBN-13: 9780316015844. A backslash in a quote signifies a paragraph break. I’ll update if I read any of the other books or rewatch the movies and anything new comes up.

Bella has trouble regulating her emotional expressions: she has to put conscious effort into how she presents herself

"I'd always been a bad liar" (p. 4). "For some reason, my temper was hardwired to my tear ducts. I usually cried when I was angry, a humiliating tendency" (p. 25). "I had never been enormously tactful" (p. 31). "'My face is so easy to read -- my mother always calls me her open book'" (p. 50).

Bella is shy and a bit socially awkward: she avoids attention for fear of embarrassment

"Charlie wasn't comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him" (p. 7). "Mr. Varner... was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I stammered, blushed, and tripped over my own boots on the way to my seat" (p. 17). "To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of the week" (pp. 68-69).

Bella feels different from other people: she doesn’t know how to connect with others and feels pressure to fit in

"I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain" (pp. 10-11). "I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else" (p. 47). “'My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?' The words bothered me more than they should -- probably because his speculation hit home. I'd always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed" (p. 181).

Bella has a unique sense of humor: other people don’t get her jokes and she doesn’t get other peoples’ jokes

"'You don't look very tan.' / 'My mother is part albino.' / He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm" (p. 16). “Bella was being unintentionally funny” (p. 367).

Bella finds comfort in routine: the change in routine from moving was difficult for her, and she felt better once the new routine became familiar

"I fell into the pattern of the familiar task gladly" (p. 33).

Bella is academically gifted: she finds assignments easier than her peers do, she has already read the books assigned in her English course

"'Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?' / 'Yes'" (p. 47).

Bella enjoys being alone: she is introverted and enjoys solitary activities

"In a lot of ways, living with Charlie was like having my own place, and I found myself reveling in the aloneness instead of being lonely" (p. 54). "I've never minded being alone" (p. 241).

Bella has motor difficulties: she is clumsy, uncoordinated, accident-prone, and bad at sports

"Possibly my crippling clumsiness was seen as endearing rather than pathetic, casting me as a damsel in distress" (p. 55). "My sense of direction was hopeless; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings" (p. 136).

Bella has special interests: Edward and books

"... no one else was as aware of Edward as I always was. No one else watched him the way I did" (p. 69). "I was sitting in my room, researching vampires. What was wrong with me" (p. 135)? "... they didn't know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books; it was something that I preferred to do alone" (p. 156).

Bella is perceived as different by others: a history of social exclusion is hinted at, Edward’s mind-reading doesn’t work on her

"'It's better if we're not friends,' he explained. 'Trust me.' / My eyes narrowed. I'd heard that before” (pp. 74-75). "He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped" (p. 83). "'My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year'" (p. 106). ".'.. maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM'” (p. 181). "'You're not like anyone I've ever known. ... / ... 'I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you ... you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise'" (p. 245).

Bella has sensory differences: she notices and is bothered by things others don’t and aren’t, she engages in sensory-seeking and sensory-avoiding behavior when stressed

"'People can't smell blood,' he contradicted. / 'Well, I can -- that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust ... and salt" (p. 100). "I put in my headphones, hit Play, and turned up the volume until it hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, but the light still intruded, so I added a pillow over the top of my face" (pp. 129-130). "'You're always crabbier when your eyes are black ... I expect it then' ... 'I have a theory about that'" (p. 171). “For three and a half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking” (p. 425).

[cvrnelians]

unfollowed - chapter three

Kendall has been building up the courage to talk to you for a while now. When he finds your Twitter account, he sees this as the perfect opportunity to get to know you anonymously, without any preconceived notions.

He didn’t mean for it to go this far. He’s planning on telling you the truth eventually, he really is! One day. When it’s the right time.

Ideally, before you figure out he’s not Greg.

chapter one // chapter two

Loathe as you were to admit it, talking with Kendall felt kind of like a tennis match. Either that or a solid game of ping pong. Awkward as he was, conversations with your new internet friend flowed surprisingly well. He was just so funny. Unintentionally funny at times, but funny all the same. 

Hey, have you ever been to Dundee?

You had woken up to a message from Kendall nearly every day since you first started communicating. That just so happened to be this morning’s message.  

As in Dundee, Scotland?

You know where it is???? I wasn’t expecting you to know where it is. 

Honestly no. I had to look it up. I’m not proud of that.

Wait, are you saying you think I’m stupid? 

NO! No. Absolutely not. Not at all. You’re veeery smart. Very smart.

And I don’t speak to women like that, like ever. Not cool.

“Ohhhhh, okay,” you laughed to yourself, leaning back into your pillows and turning on the tv. You sighed as the image of Roman Roy smugly talking to (or rather, talking at) a group of reporters flashed onto the screen. Kendall Roy stood next to him, floating around like a storm cloud. Skulking. Nothing out of the ordinary there.

Kendall practically had to shove his brother into the car to get him to stop talking. He looked like he had hit his limit with whatever Roman had been up to that day. It was actually kind of comical, just how fed up he looked. At that moment, you almost liked him.

Almost.

“No more news,” you mumbled to yourself, switching to another streaming platform. You shifted your focus from the annoying men on tv to the annoying man in your phone. 

I didn’t mean to imply that. It’s just that whenever I mention it, no one seems to know where it is. But I’d say it’s safe to assume you haven’t been to Dundee. 

No, Kendall. No, I have not. 

Aw, would you look at that? We’re on a first name basis now 🙂🎉 

You smiled at your phone like an idiot. 

I think we’re far past that, but don’t let it get to your head. 

By the way, you have no room to talk when it comes to making assumptions about people. Just fyi. 

I thought you said you didn’t talk to women like that. 

I DON’T!!! 

I’m not even being rude!!!

God, you’re such a smartass.

You enjoyed talking to him. You really did.

That was the thing, though. You were talking, but you weren’t really talking. It was all virtual. You had known this man for several weeks now, but still had yet to hear his voice or see his face. Twitter was the one and only platform you used to communicate. You didn’t even have his phone number.  

But hey, I was wondering…

Would you like to maybe go someday?

Not sure, I don’t know much about it. I’d have to look into it.

Wait, do you mean with YOU?

Unless you know some other handsome guy who could show you around Dundee. 

Um, what?

It was just so absurd. Maybe he was being hyperbolic? He had to have been. Or maybe he was just trying to show off how worldly he was. Kendall had a tendency to do that. He could be so flippant about things that were unattainable for the average person—traveling all around the world, buying the most expensive headphones known to man. You got the impression that he was either very well-off or at least trying to appear that way.

What do you think?

Ummmmmm…I’ve known you for approximately 12 minutes now.

Ummmmmm…You’ve known me for a number of weeks now, actually. 

I’m just saying. It’s nice. I think you might like it. 

Ummmmmm...I can’t tell if you’re joking or if I’m going to have to block you. 

He responded within seconds.

NO. DON’T. I was just kidding. 

You got up to shower and brush your teeth, leaving your phone on the nightstand. When you got back, you were amused to find that he had double texted you. Or multi-texted, rather…if that was even a word. Either or, he was backpedaling big time.

KIDDING! 

Sort of. Mostly!! 

I was only partially serious. 

I can leave you alone if you want me to.    

Omg, it’s fine. Geez lol. Calm down over there. We can do a rain check on Dundee. Y’know, for when we actually know what the other person looks like. 

You’re curious about that, aren’t you? You’ve mentioned it a couple of times now.

That you had. Kendall had been very cagey about showing you a photo of himself. He attributed this to being insecure about his appearance. You had tried to reassure him that you didn’t care how he looked, but he would always come back with a “if you don't care, why are you asking to see what I look like in the first place???”

When you said that you didn’t really care what he looked like, it wasn’t that you weren’t curious about how he looked at all. What you didn’t care about was whether he was attractive to you or not. It wasn’t like you were using Twitter as a dating app. Besides, you could barely call him a friend. He was more of a friendly acquaintance than anything. You barely knew who he was, what his life was like.

The extent of which you knew about Kendall’s life:

He worked “in the corporate sector,” whatever that meant.

He traveled a lot for work.

He was big on trends—fashion, music, and otherwise.

He didn’t like to talk about his family.

He seemed to really like talking to you.

I don’t really have any other internet friends. It’s just odd. We’ve been talking for weeks but we’ve never even actually spoken to one another. 

Aren’t you curious, too?

Uh oh. I didn’t think people your age still spoke to each other anymore. 

You were suddenly hit with a reminder that Kendall was quite a bit older than you, at least a decade or more. In the back of your mind, you were suspicious of his motivations—mostly, his maturity level. You were a fully grown adult, but you were surprised that you even connected with him in the first place. He always seemed to know just what to say, just the right questions to ask. Sometimes he would suggest that you make certain plans that you had already made. It was like he had taken a peek inside your diary, or that long lost planner of yours.

Your planner. Oh, how you missed it. 

You had been searching high and low for that thing for weeks now. It had been so oddly satisfying, scribbling important dates and times onto those pages. You were a visual learner. Writing things down that you needed to know helped you recall the details easier. The book sometimes got annoying to haul around with you, but you just couldn’t catch onto an electronic calendar.

You didn’t hate it or anything. You just liked to doodle. 

It helped to purge some anxious energy. And lately, you really could’ve used an outlet to purge some anxious energy. 

You were starting to give up hope that it would ever be found. You would probably just have to buy a new one.

Uh oh. I forgot that you’re ancient compared to me.

OUCH.

Rude. 

Only kidding, Kenny. 40 isn’t old at all (are you 40?). You started the joke, though, so I felt like I had to follow through with it.

Kenny? I’m Kenny to you now?

My best friend calls me that.

Well, he’s got competition now, I guess. 

I’ll have to tell him that. I’m gonna tell him that. Do you care if I tell him that?

You chuckled.

You didn’t answer my question, though. How old are you, exactly? You only gave me a general estimate. You never give me an actual answer when I ask.

You could see the little text bubble indicating that he was typing. It popped up, then disappeared; popped up, then disappeared. This went on for several minutes.

Please tell me you’re not actually like sixty or something. Have you been lying to me about your age?

Would you stop talking to me if I told you I was 40?

Um, no? Why would I do that? You already told me you were in your late thirties, early forties.

It’s just a pretty big age gap, is all.

So what? It’s not like we’re getting married or something. 

We’re friends.

There was another long pause in between messages.

Yeah. Friends.

I’d like to give you my number, if you ever want to talk.

*Actually* talk, like you said.

I think I’d like that.

“Yeah,” you mumbled to yourself. “I think I would, too.”

Around forty five minutes later, you called. 

His voice was deeper than you thought it would be.

It wasn't in a bad way.

📱

“Oh my god. Hold on. Is that Kendall Roy next to you?” you asked, your voice rising an octave. “You met him? You met him? Is that why you’re always talking about him like he’s god’s gift to humanity?”

There were many times throughout Kendall’s life in which he felt a pit in his stomach, but he had never felt quite like this. 

This was just…weird.

“Um,” Kendall stammered, nearly dropping his phone. “Well, I uh—”

He had gone back and forth about it many times, whether or not to reveal his identity to you. He knew he would have to bite the bullet at some point, but he had not prepared for this. Texting you a photo of himself with Greg looming in the background was probably not his best idea.

He figured you would catch onto who he was once you saw the photo. It shouldn’t have been that hard to piece together, given all the things you’d talked about. He had brought up the Roys with you multiple times now. And well...fuck. His name was Kendall.

He wanted to tell you the truth. He really did. He just wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, or if this was even the right way to do it. Stalling was certainly a viable option. He could always send you the photo, pretend it was a joke, and ask you to wait a little longer before he showed you who he was. He seriously considered it.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” you exclaimed. “Wow. Kenny, either you are very, very tall or he is very, very short. Or maybe both? You’re absolutely towering over him in this photo.”

Ouch.

“You don’t look 40, though. It’s kind of creepy. Not that you look bad or anything! You look…nice.”

You were rambling. Nervous. Why were you nervous?

And then, he got it.

Awkward as he was, Greg was actually kind of photogenic. Kendall could tell by your tone that you were pleasantly surprised; at this, he was instantly annoyed. He thought he looked nice in that photo. Not Greg.

What, you liked guys like Greg? Greg?

“What kind of skincare routine are you doing?” you asked. "This is wild."

In the next ten seconds, Kendall did something he never thought he would do. 

“Um…yeah. I uh…I get that all the time. I don’t use anything special. It’s just...genetics.” 

Oh, fuck me.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ari <//333 I’m thinking thoughts abt <//33 stsg and their wet sopping kitten type of reader. who’s just. The silliest most cutieful thing <//333 a complete loser if you will <//33 stsg are the losers ever and I think. They also need a little loser to follow them around + for them to kiss hehe :3 reader is js. Anxious + clingy + so unintentionally funny + has such? Weird habits??? Are we seeing the vision. Like they’re all just cuddling together about to go to sleep and there’s a very quiet whisper of “……hey did you know a cloud weighs around a million tonnes” LMFAOOO?? 😭😭 but. Also. I think kenny would love a reader like this hehehe <33 they’re so odd they need an odd little s/o too i think…… BUT. BACK TO STSG. I think they would benefit from a clingy reader sooo much it’s not even funny. I know satoru definitely would!!!! They both need their little baby that clings to them like a koala in the morning + attacks them with kisses it would fix them!! And I think the fact u mentioned sugu appreciates handmade gifts goes soo well with this too like………… reader just walks up and gives him a box full of tiny trinkets + a few sketches of him + a hand painted rock or two + something crocheted and just. Walks away. HEHEHDHS they need a pathetic little meowmeow to fix them they told me so!!!! being told fun facts + given the most random but somehow also most heartwarming gifts + being attacked with kisses when they least expect it + being called the most random pet names is what they need in life I know it……… Anyways hehe I hope u have been doing ok n taking care of urself as always <333 has anything interesting been going on? Have yew been having fun…. :3 I for one have been suffering in the heat….. I need sugu to spoonfeed icecream to me and affectionately put me in a refrigerator…………..😞😞 BUT N E WAYS LOVE YEWWWW TAKE CAREEE HEHE!! ^_^

OLLIEEEEEE MY LOVE MY LIGHT!!!!!! YOU ALWAYS FEED ME SO WELL THANK YOU THANK YOU silly pathetic meowmeow readers my beloved…….

AAA I'M JUST . stsg would love them So Much 🥺🥺 i see the vision so clearly. a silly cute little loser who follows them around and clings to them and makes silly little stupid jokes <3333 SO CUTE. they'd be so endeared and entertained….. satoru would join you in your silly endeavors while suguru just sighs fondly and watches you all softly…… i think they'd feel so fulfilled just indulging you and taking care of you :33 you're their little ball of sunshine. their beloved little loser!!!!

AND KENNY. OLLIE. 😔 you can't just bring them up and expect me to be normal THEY WOULD LOVE YOU SO MUCH. their silly little jester <33 …… personally i think kenny would fit best w someone just as silly and insane as they are, OR someone who is . Just a Guy . npc material. idk i just think it'd be fun :33 but yeah kenny would LOVE this kind of reader i think…. they just find you entertaining!!!

BUT YES BACK TO STSG . YOU’RE SO OBJECTIVELY CORRECT. they need their little koala 🥺🥺 i think physical touch is a comfort to the both of them!!!! AND PLEASEEE THE CUTE LITTLE GIFTS. THE ROCKS. suguru in particular would absolutely Melt i know he would!!! and satoru would be sooooo fond of the silly petnames <33 they both just adore you and how cute/odd you are 🥺🥺🥺 they’d be protective too….. maybe they’d call you their little weirdo teasingly but if someone else does ????? 🤨🤨 they’re getting hit w the meanest side eye . the nastiest glare. no one disrespects stsg’s little weirdo!!!!!

WAHH THIS WAS SUCH A TREAT TO THINK ABT 🥺 thank you for sharing ollie…. i’m doing well!!! just snoozing away and enjoying the summer….. i haven’t been writing much yet but. hopefully that’ll change soon!!! I HOPE THE HEAT TREATS YOU BETTER ALSO 😭😭 … me and sugu r in fact spoonfeeding you ice cream don’t even worry abt it <333

[woso-dreamzzz]

The head in the clouds reader is so unintentionally funny , I think she does not try to be funny but ends up being funny in whatever she does. Her teammates may have to check on her like going somewhere she just walks without any shoes or without taking any bags

She routinely turns up to places without her phone and keys because it just slipped her mind

[michanvalentine]

Things about Vincent Valentine that I read around and piss me off. Vol.3

"Vincent is boring, doesn't talk and does nothing but mope around."

EXCUSE ME?!?! Seriously, I think this is the worst. I understand that not everyone may like a character, and rightly so, but this type of comment often denotes a lack of in-depth analysis of the character. Or even a lack of simple understanding. And since I now feel like Vincent Valentine's defense lawyer, I think I will continue my speech, your honor! Personally I don't find it boring at all, quite the contrary. Vincent Valentine is a mysterious character. Even now, years after the release of DoC, we discuss, question and fantasize about the thousand things that are still unclear about him. And with the release of Rebirth the questions and doubts have only increased, although the character has clearly been expanded in his characterization. The roots of his story run deep into the heart of FFVII's plot, where it all began, and Vincent Valentine boasts strong connections to characters like Hojo, Lucrecia, and Sephiroth himself. Not to mention the Turks and Shinra. This alone should arouse interest, even just to understand how the character of Vincent Valentine can enrich the game's plot and the characters he interacts with. Furthermore, Vincent Valentine has the superpower of being unintentionally comical, starting from his inability with modern technology. His serious, dark, cold and stoic nature sometimes clashes so much with the context or with the characters around him that it almost makes him seem ridiculous. And that's something I find funny. As well as all the interactions he can have with characters who are markedly more exuberant/cheerful than him, such as Yuffie, Cid or Barret. But ok, tastes are tastes, there's no arguing about that. For me Vincent is far from boring, but I can understand that for some he is. What I can't stand is thinking of him as a person who does nothing but "mope around".

Apart from the fact that Vincent Valentine is a righteous person who cares about his friends and is always there to support them in his own way. And as much as he tries to stay away from everything and everyone, he can never resist when it comes to helping someone. We saw this in AC when he promptly saves Cloud from Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. We saw him in DoC, when he shielded Reeve or Yuffie on several occasions. We even saw him in Rebirth, when he shielded Tifa or rushed to support Cloud during the Queen Blood quest. Let's say that the role of bodyguard is still powerful in him! But I really can't read that his flaw is being silent. Or that he dwells too much on the past and mopes around. My eyes bleed when I read these comments. I'll make a quick list why Vincent Valentine can't be a cheerful and jovial person who gets along with everyone:

He is heartbroken. The love of his life left him like this, from one moment to the next, and without a valid reason. Not for him, at least.

Lucrecia chose Hojo. Of all people. This is a great blow to his self-esteem, not because Hojo is a toad but because he is a person with an abominable soul.

He's been killed. But then he rose again. And already here there is something very wrong.

The experiments that brought him back to life were not exactly a walk in the park. And if we think of Hojo, only abominable scenarios like him can come to mind.

He is a monster. Inside him he has four uncontrollable and angry entities that he has to live with night and day every day.

The world outside could welcome him with torches and pitchforks.

He lost thirty years of his life and found himself in a world he no longer knows, people, places, technology. Everything changed.

He is immortal. This means that he will see all the people he loves die, one after the other, inevitably. Over and over.

The woman he loves lies in a crystal, eternally unattainable.

One of the entities he harbors within himself is Chaos, a primordial god of death who will cause the end of the world.

His long-term life prospect is to witness the end of all life. Only to be left behind on a dying planet. Alone.

And maybe I even forgot to consider some other aspects! Just to put it all in perspective: we ordinary people complain about our cuticles or because it's raining or because there's a test at school. Or for any other triviality. And we are often in a bad mood simply because we are. Vincent Valentine has been through hell. He literally died and then came back to life. I think this abberation alone would be enough to drive anyone crazy. And then he spent almost thirty years alone in the basement of the Shinra Mansion, when isolation is considered a form of torture for us human beings. And this too would drive anyone mad. Death is a liberation, which was denied to him in exchange for a new, damned existence made of nightmares, demons, regrets, remorse, etc. And in the future for him there is nothing, only death and destruction. No love, no family, only ephemeral bonds, destined to be lost over time. No wonder he's afraid to let people get close. There is no hope for Vincent Valentine, only a dark destiny awaits him. With such a rosy outlook it would almost be unnecessary to remember that people who lose a limb or are disfigured suffer psychological damage that requires years of therapy, so we can only imagine how Vincent Valentine rebuilt his self. Alone, in the dark. After being dissected on an operating table, genetically manipulated and put back together in a way he wasn't. Life, dignity, humanity, all stripped away. Nonetheless, Vincent Valentine got back on his feet. Also thanks to the help of the right people at the right time, of course, but after everything he has been through, reacting is not something to be taken for granted. Indeed, not only did he remain a "functioning" person but he also managed to retain his big heart and his strong sensitivity. Vincent Valentine is a person with incredible resilience, who managed to draw from trauma and suffering the strength necessary to put himself at the service of good. To protect instead of destroy, when he could simply drown his conscience and his pain in the beast's rage and let it be. Only a great man can do this.

So leave him alone. He has every right and reason to be depressed or to remain silent without being judged for it. The guy is already doing a great job.

[altocat]

All that beauty wasted on someone with the social skills of shy Cloud. Seriously, it's just funny how elite Sephiroth was made in his celebrity days while in private guy is probably the unintentionally dorkiest guy you can meet. It's kind of why people find Sane sephiroth so endearing because when you see it he's not so different from the real Cloud who tried to bring up this image of being a macho badass when in actuality he's really shy and insecure about himself.

Sephiroth mostly comes off as awkwardly tone deaf and occasionally kind of grumpy and antisocial in CC. He thaws a lot towards Zack over time but the man does NOT want to hang unless it's with Angeal and Genesis.

Around them he's so chill and happy, even when he doesn't seem to read the giant fucking red flag that is Genesis' behavior towards him.

[one-strugling-bean]

DSMP Fanfic Rec List because I’m bored Part 2

(IF YOU READ ANY OF THESE, DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT - even a simple "great work" or "this was a lot of fun" suffices, just  comment)

Happy Duo & Egg Lore (the fluffy and the saddy)

OrphanDuo + Skephalo AU by cawthelesbian 

Techno discovers the Skeppy cage and remembers Skeppy's claustrophobia, which leads him unable to keep his anger and disgust in check.

-

This series is what made me love these three dummies. Seriously, there's so much unexplored potential here.

I love how close Techno and Skeppy are, how much Techno cares for Skeppy despite how different they are, and that Skeppy is considered one of the few that have always been loyal to Techno. It's just sweet, ya know?

Adding Bad to this mix just makes it all that much better. Techno and Bad aren't very popular together, but I personally love imagining their possible interactions and how they view each other.

I loved getting Techno's pov on the Skephalo relationship as well - how Techno trusts Bad to take care of Skeppy because he's seen and been proven that they are that important to each other.

I can only wish this series gets continued at some point, or someone else picks up on the idea because I'd kill to see more of this concept.

___

What's a Skeppy? by 42starsintheuniverse

When he has the capacity to, Bad uses higher order thinking. In those times, he is well aware that the Skeppy is as much of an individual as he is. That it presumably managed for a long time before him, that it was good at surviving, and he’d come to learn, excellent at fighting and defending itself. The Skeppy is very capable. But Bad is nothing if not flawed, and one of his flaws is that he is very eager, and very happy when he finds things to collect. So he’d sort of... Unintentionally taken the Skeppy. It wasn’t a plan, exactly. He’d carried it home that first day and assumed it wanted to stay with him.

-

"For a long time, Bad thought all he would ever be was a Bad. But when a Bad finds a Skeppy, suddenly a Bad becomes... A happy." If this quote doesn't make you want to read the fic, I'm not sure you're okay, I'm sorry.

This fic is literally the cutest thing, istg. I dare you to try and find me something that's more wholesome.

Bad and Skeppy are both not-quite sentient creatures - Bad is a Nether demon, Skeppy is a diamond golem - who find each other by chance and just, connect and stick together and do shenanigans.

The genius of this fic for me is the "not-quite sentient" part. They're not people, they're creatures, and it shows. They remind me a lot of the dragons from HTTYD, as in they possess a higher order of thinking than a dog or a cat, while still being somewhere lower than a human. Does that make sense?

They can't communicate with each other the traditional way - aka, through speech - and so have to find ways to get around that, which is a trope I love.

Also also, this author is amaaaaaazing at writing Happy Duo, I very very much recommend checking out any of their other works - Flickering Flame and Your voice: The Sound of your Laughter are two of my faves, but really, all of them are more than worth a read.

___

My sunshine by Redbug

There's something wrong with the world around Bad, and reality isn't making any sense. No one is, and it's starting to eat away at his mind.

-

This series is pure pain and yearning. I'm not even trying to be funny, it simply is. Maybe it's because Bad and his "predicament" reminded me too much of a family member of mine, but this fic really just hit me like a truck out of nowhere.

I don't want to spoil much, but i love what the author did with Bad's backstory. Who he is, his connections with XD, how he got to have the life he does in the present. He's so tragic, it's painful to read all that suffering (but in a good way, because it's also beautiful??)

The way Rain cloud ended threw me for a loop a bit, but I think that might've been the point - it also made me cry actual tears, sooooo, there's that :p

But yeah, go read this right now if you feel like BBH-centric angst with lots of worried Skeppy, some functional Karlnapity, and a kind of confusing but still very envolving plot.

___

dripping with red gardenia by kirichin

A sardonic smile tugs his lips up as he watches the petals curl up, catch fire, and turn into ashes. He was sure there is a metaphor there somewhere, between his love and the pathetic flowers turning into ashes.

-

or Skeppy gets blessed with Hanahaki.

-

Happy Duo writers really do love their angst. And Hanahaki too, apparently.

Techno is MVP. He and Skeppy continue to warm my heart with their brotherly bond. Skeppy and Bad deserve all the hugs.

It's been a while since I last read this one, so I don't remember the plot too well, but I do remember I stayed up 'til 4am to finish it and I hate going to bed late, so I hope this speaks for itself on how engaging the fic is. Go read.

so this is love by Isi_Khan_3000

You’ve always been a clingy person – always had a hard time letting things go.

It’s not really all that surprising that that was your downfall.

OR, the Skeppy POV we all want and need (featuring some extra commentary from somewhen else.)

-

(Yes, I'm self-advocating, leave me alone.)

This was written immediately after the Egg Lore finale. It's basically my personal take on what Skeppy was up to while Bad was busy building himself a cult. It spans from his death by lava bath to him killing Bad after the Banquet.

It's sad, angsty, and full of my fave headcanons for their DSMP characters (which means lots of happy duo family). It is also my first try at writing 2nd person, so yeahhhhh, please give it a read, and feel free to yell at me in the comments.

Anyway, go check it out if it sounds interesting, please and thank you.