#compulsive tendencies

[gayvampyr]

the linguistic appropriation cycle

[saturnsocoolioyep]

In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"

[in-sufficientdata]

Why the Konmari method is pretty useless for people with genuine problems with hoarding and OCD, or OCD tendencies, at least without some caveats and definitions:

Hoarding is defined by a persistent emotional attachment to inanimate objects. Clutterers and hoarders often have an unconscious need to save items, whether for an imagined future ideal use, or just because otherwise they would end up in the landfill.

People with these issues often have difficulty discerning the difference between a truly useful item and something that should be given or thrown away because of their emotional attachment to the item.

They see themselves as the best curator of the items, which may range from useful items like craft supplies, display items, sentimental items, and stuff that is truly just junk.

"Sunk costs" is a term from economics that means that a cost that has already been incurred and cannot be recovered. Although the original term refers to finances, the sunk costs of the time and effort someone has put into an item can influence their decision to keep the item.

Therefore, another factor in this attachment is the sunk costs of money, effort, and time that a person has put into an item. A person may no longer be personally attached to an item, but will keep it because they have always meant to use it or simply because it's not yet ruined.

This is also a reason those with fewer economic advantage tend to be hoarders more than those with a comfortable financial situation. Someone like this realizing they've obtained two of an item will take on the responsibility of curating both instead of getting rid of one.

Because of all these factors, the expression that was translated as "sparks joy" in the English version is too easy for a clutterer to confuse or redefine in their own mind as they work to sort through their items.

In my case, for example, I had a situation where the basement, which was full of our excess saved items, needed to be cleared so the cracked foundation could be repaired. I had to decide what to save in the limited storage space we still had, and what to throw out or donate.

If Konmari had been in vogue at the time (this was in 2004) I'm certain I would have kept far more items than I should have. This language is too easy for a clutterer to massage and redefine in their own mind based on what the item is.

First, clutterers need to be clear-eyed about the fact that they suffer from excess emotional attachment to objects. Flylady's declutter method was in vogue at the time I engaged in this declutter session, and she has a whole checklist of questions to ask oneself about an object:

Do I love this item?

Have I used it in the past year?

Is it really garbage?

Do I have another one that is better?

Should I really keep two?

Does it have sentimental value that causes me to love it?

Or does it give me guilt and make me sad when I see the item?

This may seem needlessly complex to someone who is not a hoarder or clutterer but this addresses many of the reasons that a sufferer would keep an item that they shouldn't.

Another factor is that they are perfectionists. This seems at odds with the idea that they may have a huge mess in their home, but what happens is they often can't deal with their persistent need to have a perfectly clean home that matches their vision.

Because of this they put off starting on the project until it can be done perfectly.

This is why methods like Flylady and Unfuck Your Habitat (which is really just Flylady without the cutesy rhetoric) help these people so much, because people with differences such as ADHD become clutterers because they don't know how to regulate their own time or how to organize.

The emotional attachment to their possessions is, incidentally, why decluttering on behalf of your hoarder friend is a very bad idea. The person will need to work through this process on their own, in order for it to stick.

Getting rid of these items can be intensely emotional and difficult for someone with these tendencies.

Time limits, routines, consistency, and persistence are the best tools for someone who needs to declutter. Don't try to do this all in an afternoon. Not only is it a difficult process, it should become a consistent habit.

For resources and further reading please check out Squalor Survivors (archive.org link).

[ash-says]

If it kept you alive then don't regret it.

What's important is surviving. Being alive . By whatever means possible.

Forgive yourself for all those decisions you made, you think were wrong and do the right thing now.

You are here. You are alive. It's all that matters. I am proud of you.

[disassociation-culture-is]

dpdr + suspected ocd culture is not trusting headphones and needing to always ask people if they can hear what you’re listening to, not because what you’re doing is bad but otherwise you think it’s playing directly out of your device and feel awkward unless someone can tell you it’s fine

.

[screamingay]

* my predominant reason is compulsion (they're uneven and i have to make them smooth) even though i also do it for other reasons listed. if you feel multiple apply as your main reasons, pick the one that you notice the most or that affects you the most

pls reblog and elaborate in the tags if u can!

[monsterohnenamen]

[traumaticgoth]

Me when girls block me on everything and tell me to leave them alone

[datastate]

[craycraybluejay]

Doing God's work by looking ambiguously just young enough just old enough to satiate whatever creatures lurk in someone's psyche.

I understand more than people may think from my views instinctual disgust reactions. But for me, the more 'gross' a conquest is, the more Fun it is.

I like visceral and strange. I feel a kinship to people I don't actually have a 'badwrong' thing in common with because either way, they are Weird, and it fascinates and excites me to no end. It's not even necessarily sexual, and I think even the sexual aspects of it aren't always rooted in base sexual appeal. Moreso, it pings the part of my mind that finds much joy in taking things apart and studying them. The part of my mind that sings like angels at the unusual.

[gayvampyr]

I think I've posted about this before but I can't remember; does anyone else get tics that are triggered by the cold? and I don't mean just shivering, I mean like cold temperatures cause your body to suddenly jerk and/or have random uncontrollable muscle spasms. mainly asking people who have tic disorders or other neurological/neuromuscular conditions, but others are welcome to reply as well

[lizcalder]

today i was told by my therapist that i should really stop judging myself whenever i have intrusive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. ok, cool. BUT HOW DO I DO THAT?

[sunkern-plus]

funny (in hindsight) little ocd compulsion i remember having (partially because of autism most likely): when i was like 11 i was told by one of my teachers (one of the shit ones) that people had to wash their hands and NOT run the water while putting on soap because if you DID run the water, it contributes to global warming

but little ocdtism me did not understand the concept of abstract thinking, and i jumped right to "oh god if i run the water while i'm putting soap on my  hands i'm personally responsible for the earth getting destroyed"

[shopcat]

oh yeah cat owners who like little good luck charms whenever u find one of ur cats whiskers when they shed u can put them in ur wallet for good luck :) specifically i think it's good luck for travelling and health but in general i think it'd just good luck probably bc it's something u only find every now and then. if u don't like that it's still just a cute keepsake i put the ones i find in a little jar in my room heh

[butchgengar]

Taking a break from game development to hang out on a discord call is a good way to prevent burnout.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

the good thing about asperger's no longer being a diagnosis is that it's just called level 1 autism spectrum disorder now. i know i probably shouldn't be poking around in the mental health of strangers online, but as an autistic person myself, your struggles resonated with me. ever since i've been able to accept, understand, and begin to provide myself accommodations for my autism, my mental health has improved tremendously. autism is also co-morbid with oodles of other conditions, so it is definitely possible to have autism and other conditions that may have overlapping symptoms

It's funny, I was diagnosed, accepted it, over analyzed and rejected it, subsequently forgot about it entirely, then when the only helpful counselor I ever had brought up the idea I was like: Oh yeah! That makes sense. And went through the same process over again. I will say, having someone point out that something might be inhibiting my ability to interact with people was extremely helpful. Because I just thought I was really bad at it and processed it as a point of failure (which was intolerable). At one point she said "You don't have to do things you don't want to just because you feel like you should" and I think about that a lot. That should have been obvious but it was like she slapped me with a fish