#connection to the world and reality and to other people

[dcggone]

there is actually something so fucking wrong with you people youre like empty husks and empty shells of human beings. its so tiring living near and around you fucking demons the lot of you have no capacity for human connection because murder and killings are so normal to you there is genuinely no reaction to the knowledge that you people do nothing but kill and that everything you know and have is due to the subjugation and exploitation of others purely on racial and ethnic lines because you just dont care and its actually just been so disturbing to watch you lot pretend to care but have no ability to act out the right emotions because you dont even know what that is like. the idea that waving around American flags will somehow stop Americans from feeling justified to indiscriminately kill for personal gain is just so fucking stupid and im not even going to pretend to respect you or respect that stupidity. this is exactly why the only tangible useful opposition to Americans will be through weapons and violence. You people are just deeply unserious, chauvinistic, and have no regard or respect for human life. no one who actually processes and gives a fuck about the gravity of the deaths and suffering the USA imposes on the world thinks the appropriate response to that could even possibly be waving one of those dumbass flags around. its too stupid for words and too stupid for a proper rebuttal and your dismissive attitude around the murders that have and will happen for your benefit is just repulsive. you genuinely have no interest in trying to solve any of these problems its like you want headpats for repeating these same shitty talking points part of the problem is the bar is so low for you demons that youre used to being celebrated for the lowest effort of just trying to pretend youre interested in justice and peace but yall get infinite excuses for the evil shit yall do so you never actually try or suggest anything founded in reality that may work to squash your Naziesque culture based on evidence its all an act for the appearance of interest in these topics its all an act to make you appear less outrageously demonic than you are but ive lived in this shithole country my whole life youre not impressing me with these dumbass centuries old talking points about the power of democracy or whatever yall have been literally mass raping and mass lynching my people in every form of this shitty so called democracy you have and thats probably your favorite part about this shithole country in the first place fuck you. that morally pure and righteous shit is so funny whatever is morally pure is whatever brings the less consequences and discomfort to you and your fucked up lineages hahahaha fuck you all further proof you people have no concept of morally i swear hearing you people attempt to try and act like you understand or even care what those words means is scary its like dealing with a skinwalker wearing a human face

“why do you say waving usa flag bad at (supposedly) ‘leftist’ protest is bad… don’t you known usa not start with trump” in the real world we think the usa was evil from inception

[twilightofthesandwiches]

…Actually, I think Deltarune Chapter 4 answered a very important question mark in my understanding of how Dark Worlds work.

So from the way Darkners in Chapters 1-3 talk about their past, it mostly seemed like Dark Worlds operate on what I labeled as ‘Neverending Story Logic’. Dark Worlds only come into existence when the Dark Fountains are opened, but they are created with histories and memories as if they always existed.

That seems consistent with how most Darkners operate and think. Since they always acknowledge the Dark Fountain created the world they live in, but they also remember a past that clearly stretches long before it was opened. But... there is one problem... the main wrinkle in this interpretation has always been what happens when the Dark Worlds interact with one another... before one of them was even created. Like Jevil’s knowledge of Queen

And Spamton’s connection to Tenna and Mike.

These mentions happen before the Cyber World and TV World Dark Fountains have opened. These people aren’t even supposed to exist yet, right? And if you say they did exist on some level of reality… that would create its own set of questions, considering how much the Dark Worlds we’ve seen have been affected by the minds of the Lightners who venture into them. How could Queen exist before Noelle and Berdly got into the library considering she’s very much a representation of Noelle’s mommy issues?

The explanation I went with until now is that Darkners can have memories based on interactions with other objects from outside their Dark Worlds and remember these objects as Darkners, but these memories are not as… defined. People in Card Castle remember that there was a Queen because of past contact between the Serial Number Q5U4EX7YY2E9N Laptop with objects from the Abandoned Classroom, but most of the details about her were undefined and hazy. Until Queen was actually created by Cyber World’s Dark Fountain, at which point her goofy and wonderful personality was retconned into the past and memories of everyone in Card Castle as well.

Obviously that theory wasn’t perfect either (Spamton’s beef with who we now know is Tenna seemed rather specific to be just a vague blank-space to-be-filled with the TV Darkner’s true personality later), but that’s the best way I could make sense of the way Dark Worlds worked at the time.

Now, Chapter 4 gave me the puzzle piece I’ve been missing, because every Dark World we’ve seen has been part of the Prophecy…

… there seems to be an element of predestination involved.

We see a very clear small example of this with the different Dark Sanctuaries. The Darkners that populate Susie’s Second Sanctuary…

First appear petrified in the First Sanctuary.

Petrified because they’re from a different Dark World and don’t ‘belong’ in the First Sanctuary… Even though the World they are ‘from’ doesn’t even exist yet. Because Susie’s creation of the Second Sanctuary was preordained by the Prophecy. Just like the creation of every other Dark World we've seen. So preordained that when the Darkners that would come to populate it were brought to life by the first Fountain, the metaphysical laws of the universe already knew they belonged in another, future Dark World and they ended up petrified.

A... sorta similar thing is happening with the memories of every Darkner who has interacted with a Darkner from a different World. When the Card Castle Dark World was created, Cyber World’s Dark Fountain has not yet been opened and Queen was still an inanimate laptop. But since Cyber World is destined to be created in the Prophecy, King and Jevil and anyone else who has interacted with Queen through Kris’ games already had their memories of Queen, exactly the way she would come to be created that night.

Queen was formed from the Computer Room’s Dark Fountain and the minds of Noelle and Berdly once they got stuck in there… but these events were so predestinated to happen that Card Castle’s Dark Fountain could just… create everyone’s memories of Queen before she was truly ‘real’.

Same thing with Tenna’s and Spamton’s whole thing. Tenna was just an inanimate TV when Cyber World’s Dark Fountain was still flowing, but Kris creating TV World was already preordained by fate. So Tenna’s part of Spamton’s backstory was written into everyone’s memories as if Tenna had always existed too.

It’s a pretty trippy thing to think about, but then so is pretty much everything about the Dark Worlds…

[ghostboyravenight]

i'm sorry if this is a really basic question, but while i understand that transmisogyny is oppression that results from the intersections of being trans and being a woman, how does the intersection work with transandrophobia? i saw a post some time back that said there's no cis equivalent to transandrophobia so I am struggling to understand where the intersectionality comes in for you guys, sorry again if this is rude i really respect trans men and your contributions to the community

Hi! I appreciate the question!

Basically, I think looking at the type of oppressions trans people face as having cis equivalents is already counterproductive. For example, there’s this idea that transmisogyny is simply the intersection between hatred for trans people and hatred for women (hence, trans + misogyny) but this simplifies the reality of what transmisogyny actually is and diminishes the experiences of trans women/fems.

It isn’t so much that they’re being targeted just for being both trans and women; they’re being targeted for being trans women. It’s an entirely seperate axis of oppression, that yes may have some overlap with what cis women face (though you could also say that transandrophobia contains some overlap with what cis women face) but overall it’s a specific type of oppression that trans women experience as they navigate through the world based on their existence as trans women.

So you could say that transandrophobia is an equivalent of that, rather than trying to connect it with cis equivalents. Because we’re not cis! We are trans men, and how discrimination can manifest against us is what transandrophobia aims to describe. It’s things like forced pregnancy as a way of detransitioning us, loss of reproductive rights, TERF ideology that spreads around the idea of “rapid onset dysphoria” and paranoia around “young, confused girls” being coerced into transitioning, which leads to the restriction of gender affirming care for trans youth. These don’t have a cis equivalent, even if our infantilisation may come from a place of misogyny (but thus intersects with the transphobia of violently misgendering us).

Furthermore, when it comes to intersections, it also depends what intersections we’re referring to. When people say there’s no cis equivalent to transandrophobia, they’re most likely comparing us to the white cis men in power, which in turn means viewing all trans men as white.

Meanwhile, Black cis men and other men of colour do experience discrimination based on the intersection of their race and their manhood. There is an entire history of Black men in America being lynched in the name of “protecting” white womanhood, and the hypermasculanisation and vilification of Black men and moc leads to high rates of police brutality and incarceration. These are the types of intersections that tmoc have to face, alongside their transness, which is why so many discussions of transandrophobia are led by Black trans men and other tmoc (with the term itself being coined by a tmoc).

I think these discussions of transandrophobia and transmisogyny are being impacted by this idea that our oppressions need to be based on equivalent oppressions that cis people face, because this is still an attempt to force us into a cis binary. Intersectionalism isn’t as simplistic as black and white boxes. It is messy and complicated, and has many different overlaps in many different identities and many different cultures/countries/ethnicities etc., and the best thing to do is simply to listen to the lived experiences all trans people (because I haven’t touched upon the specific types of oppressions that enben and intersex people face, which also can’t be put into boxes of cis equivalents).

Hopefully this answers your question as best as possible, but feel free to ask any follow up questions!

[morganmnemonic]

Sure, it's an allegory for escapism. I'm not willing to commit to that as my final assessment of what the story's about, but it's definitely a reasonable lens to view the story through, and even then, saying that it's an allegory for escapism is the start of conversation, not the end of one. What's it trying to say with that allegory?

The labyrinth 1986 is an allegory for escapism. It touches on a person is ultimately in control of their own imagination, and as they grow older, they can't allow fantasy to rule their life, even though properly managed fantasy is a valuable thing to have.

Gregor the overlander is subtextually about escapism, taking the format of a lot of children's fantasy books (A hidden world, and prophesized hero) and playing them to their extreme as a thing that would suck to live through, all while affirming the agency of the child characters who star as the protagonists. On a meta level, it's saying that for children to be the one's going on a quest to save the world, so many adults must have failed them at some point or another, and not every child who exists in reality will find comfort in a world like that.

Paranoia agent is an allegory for escapism. It's about how the comforting lies we tell ourselves can grow out of control and take on a life of their own, potentially causing so much more harm than simply facing the truth would have.

Deltarune is a story at least partially about play, but at this point it could just as easily be about growing up and out of the coping mechanisms you used to need (The idea that the dark worlds are based on games kris and asriel used to play, and the idea that deltarune will end with us having to close the closet dark fountain for good), as it it could be about fantasy being necessary for personal growth (susie making genuine human connections through the dark world, the possibility that the key to changing the prophecy is having a firm conviction that it's even possible to subvert the prophecy) or that it's about how interacting with the world like it's a game cuts you off from connecting to other people (berdly would be oddly relevant for this one).

And the real struggle is finding an interpretation that weaves in nicely with the other themes that have been creeping up into deltarune (Hurting people you care about on accident, whether or not your choices matter, feelings of abandonment, the difference between being nice and being kind

jackenstein being the tutorial for the titan fight because play/pretend can help prepare you for actual hard/difficult times… and jackenstein is a Halloween decoration… the holiday entirely based on playing with scary/uncomforting things… runs into a wall and leaves a me shaped impression

[leyavo]

| I am my father’s daughter | 13 |

PART THIRTEEN 💖 Dad!Price & Daughter!reader, eventual Soap x reader. 3k+ words

Previous parts -> [series masterlist]

TW: hurt/angst/mentions of abuse/ complicated father-daughter relationship

🔈Readers view of John is different, he’s come and gone in her life etc so she thinks he’s not that great. So don’t send me hate

| Please be aware that manipulative people are really good at twisting the narrative to look good and make others look bad! They know their targets, can be two completely different people that you wouldn’t realise what goes on behind closed doors. Trigger warning: LENA!! |

Lena’s POV:

Vodka lemonade. Lena Marston’s drink of choice, a companion she’d kept since her teen years. Where John had whisky, she had vodka and a kid, you. She likes to think that she’s a decent mother, enough to prepare you for the bad people in this world. You’re resourceful, a tad hopeful but it always works in her favour. So desperate for love that you believe every word she coats with sugar and when she does snap, you’re reminded of the harsh reality. Lena’s a realist, taking things for what they are. Whereas you’re an idealist, hoping that those around you will change for the better. That your mother will stop drinking and choosing men over you. That your father will come back and make everything right. As if taking her youth wasn’t enough, you’re still causing trouble for her now.

She thought she raised you better, maybe you are your father’s daughter. Someone who thinks they can change the world. Nobody changes, it’s laughable to imagine John any different, but as he sits opposite her with a non-alcoholic drink she can’t help, but laugh.

It’s been years since Lena’s seen John, a few phone calls here and there to lay the foundations. To complain about you, ask John when he’s going to pick his daughter up and have a word. Such an ungrateful girl. John’s age hasn’t ruined his looks, a head full of thick hair and beard. Doesn’t have to cover the grey hairs, dye his roots every month to appear younger. He’s not the one carrying stretch marks on his stomach or a scar from birthing you.

“Well how’s the wife, John? The boy…you always wanted a boy,” Lena asks, swirling the vodka around in her glass, ice cubes clinking together. She can’t remember the kids age or name and doesn’t care much to be honest. She’s thankful that she never had another.

John nods, “yep, all good. A three year old girl too.” His fingers drum against the table, sipping his beer without breaking eye connect with Lena.

Oh, that must ruin you. No longer daddy’s little girl and now you see John being the present dad that you’d only dreamt of growing up with. Another fantasy Lena told you to let go of years ago. Dreams don’t come true for girls like you.

He's not bothered to shred his jacket or remove the knitted scarf around his neck. Still the same man, gaze trailing Lena's features for any tells. John always reading too much into things or people and getting lost in the tiny details. Trying to connect them, losing the bigger picture completely. Not everything has to be so complex.

"You took money from our kid?"

And there it is…

Lena scoffs, “my kid, John. Ain’t seen you raising her.” She slams the glass to the table and points to her chest, sharp red nails jabbing herself and reminding him that she was there, not him. He’s always been too proud, wanting to be seen as a good and decent man. And in some ways maybe he is.

John leans back in his chair, gaze on his beer as if he wondering if it’s half full or half empty. There’s no way you’ve told him, he’d probably be less calm now than if you had. No, he doesn’t know everything and as per usual you’ve made it too easy for Lena. She’d thank you, but she doesn’t want to ruin the surprise. That or let you craft an excuse or hint at the truth.

“She didn’t tell ya? Of course she wouldn’t,” Lena chuckles, chasing the last remnants of her drink, vodka and lemon not as strong with the melting ice. “That ungrateful little shit stole that money from me, the last time she went back to him.” She sniffs, back of her hand swiping her nose. Her eyes sting, lashes clumping with tears and she feels the weight of John’s hand on top of hers. A heaviness she hasn’t had in years, but she’s laying the foundations. Dropping little pieces for John to pick up, make him overthink and draw his own conclusions. Anything to get him off her back.

His thumb brushes over her knuckles, light and soothing. “I didn’t know,” John says and Lena dares to glance up at him, his hand retreating back to his lap.

Phase one, plant a seed of doubt. Turn a bad thing sour. The moneys technically hers anyways, for all those years she had to raise you on her own. It’s not easy bringing a kid up without a father or the usual bricks and mortar. Half the time you were the reason Lena had to pack up her life again and search for the next place to settle. And as you grew older she noticed the way men’s eyes lingered on you instead of her. You were the one picking her up off the floor though, dragging her into the shower and sobering her up. You looked after her better than any man had and she wondered where you’d learnt that from. It wasn’t her, maybe that’s why Lena can’t stand you. She’s never been cut out to be a mother, didn’t have one like that either. So, how can you care for her better than she can?

Sometimes she sees her younger self in you and it twists her insides. A poison that coats the back of her throat, weighing on her tongue that she resorts to unleashing that venom on you. Lena tries not to think of being a teen with a toddler, lying on a mattress as you scream a fever. She can still hear those cries in the depths of a night terror, because to her you were a terror. No life and isolated from everything she once knew. The week days merging together till John called on a Saturday or Sunday, offering Lena a piece of her old self. His money the one thing giving her life.

Your teen years are what she loathed most. Lena refused to get you certain clothes, bought you a size too big so it swamped your body and said it would save her money in the long run. You are your mother’s daughter after all, she doesn’t want to compliment or encourage you in fear you’ll do better than her. There’s that spec of your father though, the spark of fire you strike back whenever one of her boyfriends tried to lay down the law. Never did learn.

“Fancy a smoke?” Lena asks, pulling a pack menthol cigarettes from her handbag. She slings her coat over her shoulders and smiles as John nods.

Another distraction, a break between the forced conversation and Lena wonders if you’d smell the lingering scent when John gets home. It’s distinct, something you despised.

The rain pelts on the awning outside the pub, wind whipping through the patio and Lena wades through the tables to heater. A warm orange glow illuminating above johns head as he stands in front of her and lights her cigarette, he reluctantly accepts one of her menthol ones, sparking the end alight with hers. He hates the smell of mint and tobacco merged, but Lena knows he’s too stressed not to smoke. His fingers have been twitching against his pint glass since he sat down an hour ago.

If he wasn’t married and loyal like a dog, she’d probably sleep with him. Anything to get him off her back. You’d definitely leave if you knew she’d had her claws back in him. The one scrap of hope you hold onto, John.

John exhales a cloud of smoke, head tilted as he watches the wind carry the fog away. “How much?” He asks, turning the cigarette in his hold.

“Don’t matter, we sorted it out. She’s an adult now John, needs to learn there’s consequences. Lord knows she should’ve learnt ‘em six bloody years ago,” Lena says, flicking her ash into the nearest tray on the table. She glances to John out of the corner of her eye, the muscle in his jaw flexing at the mention of six years ago. A testy subject for all involved, especially you. A turning point that solidified your hatred for John.

“Spit it out Lena,” he snaps, never one to beat around the bush with her. Hook-line and sinker. “You and her are always dangling that in my face, but I’m yet to be told what actually happened.” His nose wrinkles as he takes another drag of his cigarette, eyes narrowed at Lena.

His gaze doesn’t waver from her face, she’s not even sure he’s breathing as he waits for the verbal blow. Ash burning his fingers. He doesn’t want to miss anything.

“You really wanna know your kid?” Lena cocks her to the side, arched brow rising. He nods, crushing the cigarette under his boot. “She was arrested for the possession of drugs at fifteen, John. Went to a young offenders institute for months until I managed to get the charges dropped.”

John opens his mouth, but she waves him off. She relays the details, telling him of that night and the months that followed, answering his questions in between. Exaggerating certain parts to prove a point, that you’re not the good kid he thinks you are.

“That boyfriend of hers, you can thank him. She gave me hell for years John, I don’t blame you. I know you were working that huge case and couldn’t be home, but I did my best,” she says, wiping the salty tears rolling down her cheeks and leaning into john’s embrace as he wraps an arm around her. Too easy.

"I'm here now, let me help," he says, palm smoothing up and down her arm. She tucks her head under his chin and wraps her arms around his torso. It’s like she’s a teen again, clinging to John for warmth.

Lena releases a trembling breath. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s still using. You know those mood swings and lashing out,” she mumbles into his chest. He tenses, slipping out of her hold and stepping back.

“What really happened between the two of you?” He asks, leaning down to try and catch her wandering gaze. “Kid, can’t even talk about ya’ without…”

“She’ll bleed you dry John and be gone before you realise,” Lena’s voice muffled, cigarette balancing between her lips as she dug through her handbag. “Your kids actual phone number, she’s got two.” She hands him a faded receipt, blue ink smeared on the crumpled paper.

John’s POV:

John thought if he saw Lena face to face he’d know, some sort of gut instinct to untangle the mess in his head. Dad intuition or whatever it’s called, but he doesn’t have that with you not yet. If anything, all he’s sees in Lena is you. You can’t be doing drugs, he checked your bag whilst you were in the hospital and if you had Toff would have added it to your medical notes. The mood swings, John knows are more trauma related. If Lena is lying what does she gain from doing so?

The smudged ink of your second phone number burns a hole in his pocket. Already stored in his contacts list just incase. He’s not going to bring it up with you either, knowing you’ll get rid of it and he won’t be able to reach you one day.

The mist of rain blurs John’s surroundings outside his truck. Window cracked open a fraction as he tries to get rid of the fogged up glass, old heater ticking away. Your bedroom light is still on, but John doesn’t want to enter the res house, not till he’s got his head sorted and he’s prepared. The last thing he wants it to scare or push you away. He knows if he reaches out too fast and close, you’ll withdraw. Maybe even leave him and never look back. Part of him doesn’t want to dig up that police report, it’s probably been cleared off your record by now as you were a minor and the charges were dropped. Doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it though. His stomach twisting as he realises how alone you must have felt and he now understands why you think he wasn’t there for you. He knows he wasn’t there.

Lena’s minty scent clings to his clothes, he can smell it on his moustache and fingertips. The alcohol gel in his car not giving him much help, if anything he doesn’t even think it has a particular aroma to it. He curses himself for leaving his cigars back in his office, locked away in the top drawer. Meeting Lena wasn’t planned, the whole evening throwing him off as he sat in his truck at three in the morning. The missed calls on his phones unanswered, he’d warned Angie of that though and wasn’t expecting her to ring anytime soon. No, Simon’s number appears in the chain of notifications, on and off for the past two hours. A text of his return soon, always giving him an estimated arrival.

The next op isn’t his main worry though, but it should be. He hates to think it. There’s a niggling feeling that if John goes away now, you might not be home when he returns. The thought alone making him not want to have the have the talk. He has to though. A light tap against the glass draws him out of his thoughts and he rolls the window down. One skeleton gloved hand rests against the truck as Simon leans down to greet John.

“Work or the kid?” Simon asks, his gaze flitting to the line settling between johns brows as if he already knows. He wrinkles his nose, swaying in his spot as if the stench of minted tobacco has just invaded the thin layer of his mask. The cheapest cigarettes that are supposed to be left on the shelves, well that’s what Simon says.

John nudges his head to the passenger seat, watching Simon circle the truck and open the door. The old vehicle rocking as he fell into the seat and closed the door lightly. John’s lost count of how many times he’s had to fit the handle back on whenever Simon slams the door. The engine sputters to life and they don’t say anything till they’re out of the military base. Nothing but the open road and the darkness wrapping around them.

“Went to see Lena,” John says, the red light glaring at him and he slams the brakes, both of them lurching forward in their seats.

“And you came back with more questions than answers?” Simon replies, raising a blond brow at the captain. He’s never been a fan of John’s ex.

John fills him on the evening and everything Lena told him. Simon silent, nodding along as he listened. John can’t help, but see you in another light now and he tells Simon so. His mind wandering back to the shattered lamp, did you knock it off or break it? He knows you’re lying about your mum and he hopes you’ll pluck up the courage to confide in him. He doesn’t even want to go into the whole Johnny and you situation with Simon, he’s not ready for that yet. The one thing he definitely has to pull you up on.

“I just don’t know what to think,” John mumbles, fingers pressing against his temple and the dull pulsating ache. The past few weeks were weighing on him, work escalating and your unpredictable moods around him made him try ten times harder to accommodate your needs. Lowering his voice, stepping back and offering you more space in hopes you’ll come to him. He can’t keep saying later with you. He’s running out of time.

“She’s gotta have a reason to lie,” Simon pauses, holding a hand up and silencing John before he can offer his thoughts. “Think about it, she’s not had a stable upbringing and well, you don’t know the full story. You need to talk to the kid before you jump to conclusions.”

John nods, looping back round the streets and driving to the military base. The back of his throat burns, mouth dry as Simon’s words sink in. He doesn’t have all the information and you deserve to be heard. He owes you that much.

The truck rolls to a stop outside the res house, the light from your bedroom off. John removes the keys and holds them in his palm, elbow on the door panel. Simon exits the truck, walking round to johns side and he reaches over the door and pops the handle down opening it for him.

“Take a breather, then talk to her. It’s all fresh and amplified mate, just don’t interrogate the kid. With the right questions you’ll be able to figure out the situation.” Simon nods, advice given and he disappears down the gravel path to the main building without another glance.

John's lucky to get two hours sleep, giving up as soon as the sunlight filters through the blinds. He makes his bed as usual, tucking the sheets under the mattress and sits on the edge. His suitcase stares at him beside the chest of drawers, his fingers turning his wedding band deep in thought. He glances to the clock reading seven forty and he rises from the bed, pulling his door open.

He walks into your room, expecting the the door handle to rattle and the lock to click, but it swept wide open.

“Come on, up you get Kiddo,” John says, tugging the duvet off you. “You’re coming home with me, no discussion.” He tosses the flimsy duffle on your bed, pulling your clothes from the hangers in the wardrobe.

You catch the hoody he throws at you, mumbling under your breath as you shove it over your head and accept your fate. He thought you'd fight him on it, but he doesn't give you the chance to.

Lena stirring things up 🥴 johns going to have the talk with kiddo in the next part 🫡 please note I am dyslexic so there may be errors/mistakes. I do edit multiple times but miss out things - Leya

Taglist: @unclearblur @enfppuff @elita1 @tired-writer04 @kaoyamamegami @gallantys @leon-thot-kennedy @trulovekay @harley101399 @misshoneypaper @rpgsandstuff @tomatto1234 @lolyouresilly @madsothree @astrothedoll @grandfartvoid @delaynew @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @little-mini-me-world @exitingmusic @majocookie @elegancefr @jesskidding3 @thepowers-kat-be @frangiipanii @ye-olde-trash-panda @sleep101 @bluebarrybubblez @shitaaba @muraaaaaa @vajjaa @rafaelacallinybbay @jeannieboys @poetoflawed @idleviewer @darling006 @itsleeq

[spectralpixelsredone]

RWBY Theory: Ruby Rose’s Eldritch Nature and Magical Connections

Ruby Rose, the protagonist of RWBY, stands out as an enigmatic figure in Remnant, a world where magic is rare and tied to ancient forces. Her Silver Eyes and Petal Burst Semblance suggest a deeper, eldritch connection to the divine powers of the Gods of Light and Darkness, setting her apart from other characters, including those with potent Semblances like Weiss Schnee, Emerald Sustrai, and Neopolitan. This theory explores Ruby’s unique abilities, their ties to ancient magic, and their eldritch implications, drawing parallels with other characters’ powers to highlight her extraordinary nature.

Ruby’s Silver Eyes: A Divine Connection

Ruby’s Silver Eyes are a rare and mystical trait, explicitly linked to the God of Light, who imbued them with the power to destroy Grimm, the creations of the God of Darkness. This divine origin marks Ruby as a figure of cosmic significance, capable of wielding a power that transcends typical Semblances.

Origin and Power: Silver Eyes grant Ruby the ability to emit bursts of light that can petrify or vaporize Grimm, as seen when she freezes a Wyvern during the Battle of Beacon (Volume 3) and vaporizes Apathy Grimm at Brunswick Farm (Volume 6). Maria Calavera explains that this power stems from the God of Light’s essence, driven by the desire to protect life, making it a direct counter to the Grimm’s destructive purpose.

Traumatic Activation: Ruby’s Silver Eyes first awaken during Pyrrha Nikos’ death, a traumatic event that unleashes a burst of light, maiming Cinder Fall and petrifying the Wyvern. This suggests an emotional trigger tied to love and loss, as Maria later instructs Ruby to focus on those she wishes to protect to activate the power deliberately.

Eldritch Implications: The Silver Eyes’ ability to affect Cinder, who is fused with a Grimm to steal Maiden powers, hints at an eldritch quality. Unlike typical Semblances, which are powered by Aura, Silver Eyes seem to tap into a divine, otherworldly force, making Ruby a conduit for cosmic energy. Salem’s centuries-long hunt for Silver-Eyed Warriors further underscores their significance, suggesting they pose a unique threat to her immortal existence.

Ruby’s initial reluctance to embrace her Silver Eyes, as seen in her limited use until Volume 6, reflects her desire to be a “normal” Huntress. However, her eventual acceptance of this power, guided by Maria, marks her as a figure destined to confront forces beyond human comprehension, aligning her with eldritch themes of destiny and cosmic conflict.

Petal Burst: A Semblance Beyond Speed

Ruby’s Semblance, Petal Burst, is often described as super-speed but is far more complex, revealing an eldritch quality that defies the physical laws of Remnant. Penny Polendina’s revelation in Volume 8 that Ruby disassembles herself into molecular components and reassembles at her destination elevates this ability beyond typical Semblances.

Mechanics and Evolution: Petal Burst allows Ruby to move at extreme velocities, leaving trails of red rose petals. Initially limited to short bursts, it evolves significantly by Volume 4, enabling her to change directions midair, split into multiple petal clusters, and create powerful tailwinds or tornado-like effects. By Volume 8, she can carry multiple people (up to four) without mass constraints, as seen when she transports her team through Atlas Central Command.

Unique Characteristics: Unlike other speed-based Semblances, such as Harriet Bree’s, Petal Burst involves molecular disassembly, a process that negates mass and allows Ruby to navigate obstacles or pass through tight spaces. This ability to break down and reform her physical form suggests a connection to the transformative, reality-altering aspects of ancient magic, akin to the Gods’ world-shaping powers.

Eldritch Nature: The rose petals, initially thought to be a stylistic effect, are confirmed by Qrow and Penny to be a tangible byproduct of Ruby’s Semblance, not an illusion or Dust effect. This transformation into petals and the ability to manipulate her molecular structure evoke eldritch imagery, resembling a dissolution into a cosmic or supernatural state. The petals’ color shifting when carrying others (e.g., red-to-blue gradient with Weiss in Volume 6) further hints at a mystical adaptability.

The evolution of Petal Burst, particularly its unconscious use (as Ruby admits in “A Night Off”), suggests an instinctive connection to a power she doesn’t fully understand, aligning it with the unpredictable, otherworldly nature of magic in Remnant.

Ruby Rose’s Semblance, Petal Burst, is a power that transcends the typical boundaries of Semblances in RWBY’s world of Remnant. Described initially as super-speed, its true nature—revealed as molecular disassembly and reassembly—suggests an eldritch quality that challenges the physical laws of the world. This analysis delves into the strange mechanics, evolution, and otherworldly implications of Petal Burst, highlighting its role as a uniquely mysterious force in Ruby’s arsenal.

The Mechanics of Petal Burst

Petal Burst allows Ruby to move at extraordinary velocities, often appearing to teleport due to her speed. However, its mechanics go far beyond simple swiftness, involving a transformation that defies conventional physics.

Molecular Disassembly: As revealed by Penny Polendina in Volume 8’s “Strings,” Ruby’s Semblance breaks her body (and anything she carries) into molecular components, negating mass, and reassembles them at her chosen destination. This process enables her to move through obstacles or tight spaces, as seen when she navigates Atlas Central Command with her team.

Rose Petal Byproduct: Whenever Ruby activates Petal Burst, she leaves behind a trail of red rose petals, which Qrow describes as a literal effect of her Semblance, not an illusion or Dust-based phenomenon. These petals materialize in her wake, whether she’s dashing across the ground or through the air, adding a surreal, almost supernatural aesthetic to her movements.

Environmental Impact: Ruby’s speed generates powerful tailwinds, capable of lifting objects or people. In Volume 2’s “Best Day Ever,” she creates a massive turbulence that pins Team JNPR against a wall during a food fight, demonstrating the physical force her Semblance can exert on her surroundings.

The ability to dissolve into particles and reform elsewhere suggests Petal Burst operates on a level that manipulates the fabric of reality, giving it an otherworldly quality that sets it apart from typical Aura-based abilities.

Evolution and Expanding Capabilities

Over the course of RWBY, Petal Burst evolves dramatically, showcasing increasingly complex and bizarre applications that hint at its eldritch nature.

Early Limitations: Initially, Ruby’s Semblance is limited to short bursts of speed, as seen in Volume 1’s “The First Step, Pt.2,” where she appears before Weiss with a flurry of petals. Early uses show her struggling with control, such as failing to escape Roman Torchwick in “No Brakes” or being disrupted by obstacles, as in “PvP” when Mercury Black interrupts her path.

Post-Beacon Advancements: By Volume 4’s Character Short, Ruby’s control improves significantly. She can change directions midair, split into three separate petal clusters to evade attacks, and create tornado-like spirals, as demonstrated when she lifts a Beringel off the ground. These abilities suggest a growing mastery over her molecular state, allowing her to manipulate her form in ways that defy normal movement.

Mass Transport and Flight: In Volume 8’s “Strings,” Ruby carries four people at once through Atlas Central Command, showing that her Semblance negates mass for others as well. Her ability to achieve near-flight, seen in Volume 4 when she launches to high altitudes without relying on Crescent Rose’s recoil, further blurs the line between physical and supernatural movement.

Unconscious Mastery: Ruby admits in Volume 7’s “A Night Off” that she doesn’t consciously control her advanced maneuvers, such as splitting into petal clusters. This instinctive use implies that Petal Burst taps into an innate, almost autonomous power within her, adding to its mysterious and eldritch character.

The evolution of Petal Burst from simple speed to complex molecular manipulation and environmental influence suggests a power that grows in tandem with Ruby’s experiences, possibly resonating with forces beyond her understanding.

Eldritch Implications and Strange Phenomena

Petal Burst’s mechanics and evolution point to an eldritch quality, aligning it with the ancient, reality-altering magic of Remnant’s Gods. Its strange workings evoke a sense of cosmic power that transcends typical Semblances.

Reality-Warping Potential: The ability to break down into massless particles and reform elsewhere mirrors the transformative magic used by the Gods to create and destroy Remnant’s first Humanity. This suggests Petal Burst may draw from a similar primal force, making Ruby a conduit for a power that reshapes physical existence.

Petal Symbolism: The persistent presence of rose petals, which shift colors when Ruby carries others (e.g., red-to-blue gradient with Weiss in “Argus Limited”), hints at a mystical connection to her identity. The petals are not merely decorative but a tangible manifestation of her Semblance’s effect on reality, suggesting a link to the divine or supernatural.

Disruption Vulnerability: Despite its power, Petal Burst has a peculiar weakness: unexpected obstacles can disrupt Ruby’s molecular flow, forcing her to stop, as seen in “PvP.” This limitation implies that her Semblance interacts with the physical world in a delicate, almost otherworldly balance, further emphasizing its eldritch nature.

Environmental Manipulation: Ruby’s ability to generate powerful winds or vacuum tubes, as seen in “Best Day Ever” and Volume 4, suggests Petal Burst can influence the environment beyond mere movement. This capacity to alter air currents and lift objects adds a layer of surreal influence, as if Ruby’s Semblance reshapes the space around her.

These phenomena—molecular transformation, tangible petals, and environmental effects—paint Petal Burst as a power that operates on the edge of Remnant’s natural laws, evoking the eldritch by bending reality in ways that defy explanation.

Narrative Role and Psychological Dimensions

Petal Burst’s strange workings are deeply tied to Ruby’s narrative arc, reflecting her emotional and psychological state, which adds a layer of eldritch depth to its functionality.

Symbolic Expression: The rose petals are a constant symbol of Ruby’s presence, appearing even in moments of emotional turmoil, such as her escape from her team in Volume 9’s “The Perils of Paper Houses.” This suggests Petal Burst is an extension of her identity, manifesting her will and emotions in a physical form, a trait that feels almost supernatural in its consistency.

Trauma and Instinct: Ruby’s unconscious use of Petal Burst, particularly in high-stress situations like dodging Jabberwalker clones in Volume 9, indicates that her Semblance responds to her subconscious. This instinctive activation, especially during her PTSD-driven panic, suggests a power that is as much a part of her psyche as her body, blurring the line between human and otherworldly.

Resilience in Crisis: In Volume 9’s “Of Solitude and Self,” Ruby uses Petal Burst to pursue the Curious Cat, contributing to its defeat despite her emotional fragility. Her ability to wield such a complex power while grappling with despair underscores its eldritch nature, as if it operates independently of her mental state, driven by an innate force.

Petal Burst’s integration with Ruby’s emotional journey suggests it is more than a combat tool—it is a manifestation of her essence, capable of expressing her innermost struggles and strengths in a way that feels profoundly unnatural.

Ruby’s Eldritch Nature: A Synthesis

Ruby’s Silver Eyes and Petal Burst, combined with her narrative arc, paint her as an eldritch figure in Remnant’s cosmology. Her powers blur the line between Semblance and magic, suggesting a closer tie to the Gods than most characters.

Cosmic Destiny: Ruby’s Silver Eyes mark her as a chosen warrior, destined to combat the Grimm and potentially Salem herself. Her ability to survive the Great Tree’s transformative effects in Volume 9, unlike others who ascend into new forms, suggests an inherent resilience tied to her divine power, reinforcing her eldritch status.

Molecular Transformation: Petal Burst’s ability to break down and reform Ruby’s body at a molecular level evokes the Gods’ world-shaping magic, which created and destroyed Remnant’s first Humanity. This transformation, coupled with the tangible rose petals, suggests Ruby is partially unbound by physical laws, aligning her with eldritch entities like Salem, who can reform after destruction.

Emotional and Psychological Depth: Ruby’s struggles with leadership, trauma, and self-doubt in Volumes 8-9, culminating in her near-suicide and recovery, mirror the psychological complexity of Neo’s Semblance and Emerald’s hallucinations. Her ability to overcome despair through the Blacksmith’s guidance and her mother’s memory ties her eldritch powers to her human emotions, grounding her cosmic role in personal growth.

Parallels with Salem and Ozma: Like Salem and Ozma, Ruby wields powers reminiscent of the original Humanity’s magic. Salem’s immortality and energy manipulation, and Ozma’s creation of pocket dimensions and energy barriers, parallel Ruby’s divine light and molecular Semblance. However, Ruby’s powers are uniquely tied to the God of Light’s protective essence, contrasting with Salem’s destructive, Darkness-aligned abilities.

Conclusion

Ruby Rose’s eldritch nature stems from her Silver Eyes and Petal Burst, which connect her directly to the God of Light and the ancient magic of Remnant’s creation. Her ability to wield divine light and manipulate her molecular structure sets her apart from other Semblances, which, while powerful (e.g., Weiss’ Glyphs, Emerald’s Hallucinations, Neo’s Overactive Imagination), lack the same cosmic origin. Ruby’s journey—from ignoring her Silver Eyes to embracing her role as a destined warrior—reflects her struggle to reconcile her human vulnerabilities with her eldritch potential. As a figure who inspires hope yet bears a “terrible burden,” Ruby embodies the intersection of humanity and divinity, making her a uniquely eldritch presence in RWBY’s narrative. Ruby Rose’s Petal Burst Semblance is a profoundly strange and eldritch power, defined by its ability to disassemble her body into massless particles, generate tangible rose petals, and manipulate the environment with supernatural force. Its evolution from simple speed to complex molecular and aerial maneuvers reveals a growing connection to a reality-altering force, reminiscent of the Gods’ ancient magic. The Semblance’s instinctive activation, symbolic petals, and environmental impact further emphasize its otherworldly nature, positioning Ruby as a figure who wields a power that transcends Remnant’s physical and metaphysical boundaries. Petal Burst is not just a tool for combat but a window into Ruby’s eldritch potential, marking her as a uniquely cosmic presence in RWBY’s narrative.

[digitsofpie]

listen to me. listen to me. listen to me. deltarune infinity train au

it's been an idea in my head for a while but by god these two stories have so many parallels and connections. lightners/passengers being the most important, using the dark world/the train as a means of escape or improvement and development. darkners/denizens only existing to serve the people from the "real" world. infinite pocket dimensions, infinite cars, infinite combinations of rooms and objects and memories, infinite possibilities.

more thoughts...

imagine the story of deltarune told on the infinity train.

kris and susie (and assumedly noelle and berdly, other lightners that make it to the dark world too) are apprehended at turning points in their lives. they arrive in ralsei's train car, the closet car? the lonely prince car? they both have rather large numbers on their hands, maybe in the thousands. and ralsei is ever so eager to help them on their path to self improvement through the train. he knows only the train, he believes the train does its best to help.

lancer, spade king, rouxls kaard, seam, jevil, all of the characters in the card castle dark world become denizens of the card castle car. denizens like seam and jevil know the true nature of the train and their place in this world.

noelle and berdly in the cyber city car wpuld have sizeable numbers on their hands, but noelle's and kris' would grow if somehow the weird route was allowed to fester here. would someone be controlling kris during their journey on the train? perhaps that's why they're here.

spamton, like mt/lake wants so desperately to escape the train but can't because all he's meant to do is stay and help the lightners become better people. or worse people. after all, susie in chapter 1 would be very susceptible to joining the apex. she moves through a manufactured world, less than real, less important than real people, so she could clobber who she wants. escape from responsibility and reality, escape from improvement.

i haven't thought much regarding parallels in chapter 3 and 4, but i can imagine a game show car and a church car. especially for chapter 4... amelia tried so hard to revive alrick on her own, but the dark world can revive someone just like that...

please give me thoughts if you see this this au has plagued me for YEARS. deltarune fans you NEED to watch infinity train. infinity train fans you NEED to play deltarune.

[a-soft-fluffy-girl]

Tagging this response as spoilers due to what I'm about to get into, but there's one thing I wanna take strong emphasis on to help portray my thoughts of defending Chapter 3's lighter mood. I agree, I just have THOUGHTS...

Ralsei's and Susie's arcs would not work nearly as well without Chapter 3.

Chapter 3 attempts to start with a relatively heavy dosage of reality from Ralsei that Susie doesn't just gloss over, she actively fights against. Ralsei is gradually realizing that the destructive mindset he's had going into this entire thing, living for other people and never himself because he doesn't ever get to matter runs counter to the one girl that refuses to think that way. That Susie has always been alone a lot like him but is willing to fight to prevent that loneliness from ever cropping back up.

And without the brevity, the softness, the silliness, the humorous bonding that they underwent somewhat in Chapter 2 off-screen AND on-screen with Chapter 3? There's no distinct throughline there that runs directly into the horror that Chapter 4 presents the party with.

Ralsei, during Chapter 3, learns that he can be a person. That he can be someone with his own likes and dislikes as he himself puts it. Before Chapter 3, without him making his own choices and gaining a level of independence to flub the lyrics of the song, read the manual of the game, bounce off of Susie and Lancer's antics... he was "just a Darkner". Someone that, in his words, "didn't matter". Which directly leads into Susie's own arc of accepting that the Dark World and the Light World are, while connected, still separate, something that Chapter 4 hammers into her head HARD.

Susie's insistence in Chapter 3 and allowance of Ralsei to truly get involved in things on his own power is what directly leads to Chapter 4's arc with both of their inherent arcs coming to a huge head. With Susie learning that Dark Worlds reflect the subconscious of the creators and the Prophecy being far darker and having... heavy implications based on what she's seen that we missed and could not hear her state outside of Kris' house the following night? It wouldn't have nearly the same impact if she did not have the chance to bond with Ralsei in Chapter 3.

And Ralsei's FEAR would have far less impact without him realizing he was growing to become an independent person due to Chapter 3's events.

Toby Fox is very good at making sure the levity has a point. Comedy is not meant to just be silly puns, jabs and jokes all to get a rise out of the audience. It does do that, yes, but it's a perfect juxtaposition to insert bonding and relations that have payoff during serious moments. You said it yourself, in Undertale, Toriel leads into Sans and Papyrus. Undyne leads into Alphys and Mettaton.

And yet even Sans and Papyrus have serious undertones later on with Papyrus being the lynchpin for befriending Undyne and Sans making sure you know the gravity of what violence could cause. And lets not forget that Alphys is all "haha clingy nerd haha anxious coward haha" until you end up meeting the Amalgams. And you see just where that horrid anxiety comes from.

Levity allows character growth and plot reveals to hit so much more effectively if the balance is kept strong. And Toby's nailed that so far.

New on the Ponett Gazette: It's been a few weeks, so it's time to get into my spoiler-filled thoughts on Deltarune Chapter 3 & 4! I talk about a bunch of random stuff I thought kicked ass, defend the importance of Chapter 3, and ponder where the story might go from here.

[cmrdrie]

ORV Star Wars AU

There was this planet, Crucival, located in the Tion Hegemony, in the Outer Rim Territories. It was a terrestrial planet, vastly covered in yellow grass and towering mountains. This world was almost constantly wrecked by wars between various factions.

Kim Dokja is a simple merchant, living an honest life (i.e. he’s a smuggler) who’s trying to sell his merchandise on flea markets — with varying degrees of effectiveness. He’s not a Jedi nor has any connection with the Force, fortunately! That would be bothersome.

He is living alone, his mother arrested and imprisoned for stealing food when he was little. It’s hard. Day by day he scrambles for scraps, his existence barely called a living, since his young years having to get by himself, contact with his mother long lost. He doesn’t know what is currently happening with her. He had to tend for himself, trying to sell self-made devices, made from junk and whatnots.

There is a global net available, an internet of some sort, so in the rare free moments he can be seen reading new articles and relations from different types of battlefields.

His favourite person writing about what’s happening is called [tls123], and they’re relaying their facts as if it was a full ass story, novel even. Even though what they describe are real events, where people are dying, that is the reality; people die every day — it’s enough to look wrongly at someone stronger than you and you could be beaten to death in minutes. Why not make life more entertaining, then? [tls123] was on a battle front in a galaxy far away from Crucival, where light and dark sides of Force have been clashing with each other since forever. It was difficult to tell on which side [tls123] was, as their way of telling the story seemed quite impartial.

Enter Yoo Joonghyuk and Han Sooyoung, Jedi knights who fight with the injustice and evil of the world. There are other knights, Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung among them, and young padawans — Lee Gilyoung, Shin Yoosung, Yoo Mia and Lee Jihye at the Jedi temple.

Yoo Joonghyuk bumps into Kim Dokja in an accident; during their respective journeys, when Kim Dokja tries to palm off his products to some rich people and Yoo Joonghyuk’s on a mission to investigate something, very predictably they get tangled up in a misunderstanding.

When Kim Dokja is in the middle of negotiations, he insults a very important representative. It wasn’t intentional, naturally, but he gets pushed and bumps into Yoo Joonghyuk, who in his grumpy way tries to resolve the conflict.

There’re a lot of guards and, in order to avoid bloodshed, Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk easily get overpowered, which ends in both of them getting imprisoned together. Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t want to waste time, he’s in the middle of a mission after all, so he almost immediately reaches for his lightsaber, but then—

“Don’t worry, Mr. Jedi, I got it.” Kim Dokja with his calculative mind and shit eating grin tries to sweet talk the guards, just for them to fully shut Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk out.

“Well, that certainly didn’t go as well as I expected… Hmm, but they won’t be keeping us here forever. Also, I’m sure somebody’s gonna look for us soon.” Kim Dokja rattles away, filling out the silence that began to occupy their cell. Being the recipient of Kim Dokja’s rant, even without inputting anything on his own, Yoo Joonghyuk knows that the next hours are going to be tiring.

His former Jedi master, Namgung Minyoung, used to say that sometimes it’s better to go with the flow of events and to see what happens. Yoo Joonghyuk’s not planning on staying here with this irritating fellow for god knows how long, however.

Using his lightsaber he cuts a hole in the prison’s wall and begins to walk out, just to hear a short “I knew you weren’t going to sit still like you were told to.” After that comes darkness, when he’s hit by something hard on the back of his head.

Kim Dokja has a chance to only chuckle nervously when he’s met with a similar blow. 

They’re transported to a different cell, on a spaceship orbiting near the planet, which shortly after takes off.

They do manage to escape, leaving behind a destroyed space station, and taking with them few other people they met there and cooperated with; their escape was dramatic, not short of deaths just waiting at every corner, and few pompous officers who thought themselves gods above mere people.

That’s how Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk got acquainted. Since Kim Dokja read about Yoo Joongyuk’s fights in the ongoing war, and being away from home himself, he decides to trail after the Jedi master. Be it to some negligible planets or to finish off some evil bastards — many a time he is left behind by Yoo Joonghyuk who doesn’t really want an audience and a nuisance at his side, yet Kim Dokja always comes back, appearing at the least expected moment during Yoo Joonghyuk’s missions.

He wears off on Yoo Jonghyuk, who at some point stops trying to get rid of Kim Dokja and simply lets him stay at his side (or skulking around somewhere, but always nearby). Kim Dokja gets to use a blaster, after Yoo Jonghyuk gets stuck in a fight with a defenceless squid beside him. They grow more accustomed to the other one around, and that’s when Yoo Joonghyuk notices a few important tendencies of Kim Dokja:

The idiot doesn’t really value his life, risking it unnecessarily, very often coming close to being killed. There are situations where he’s annoying someone who shouldn’t be annoyed and he almost dies at the other’s wrath. He gets abducted and terribly beaten up; he's barely alive.

Against himself Yoo Joonghyuk gets anxious because of that and starts to worry about Kim Dokja. Also, as a Jedi he’s aware that fear is an easy way to the dark side so he tries to fight those feelings, for them to not overwhelm him and make him do things he normally wouldn’t.

He starts to meditate, but it quickly turns into looking for Kim Dokja mentally, using the Force. It happens whenever the rat bastard goes off the radar or disappears off to somewhere, unsure to come back. It’s deteriorating for the Jedi, pulling him more and more to the dark side — although not without Yoo Joonghyuk putting up resistance.

At some point Kim Dokja starts to feel it too, the disturbances in the Force around him, which is something he couldn’t do before. It happens once, then twice, and after a few occurrences he gets used to being able to feel the Force around him. It is extremely unusual and Kim Dokja doesn’t know what to make of it. How powerful Yoo Joonghyuk was to make him sensitive to the Force? 

At the same time Yoo Joonghyuk skims closer and closer to the dark side because of the fear about his companion.

They start to see each other in visions, which scares Yoo Joonghyuk. What has he done? What is happening? Why is suddenly Kim Dokja able to feel the Force?

They share their dreams, and with constant shifting of the energies around Kim Dokja finds himself being able to manipulate the Force himself. Not much, mind you; just enough to throw paper balls at Yoo Joongyuk’s forehead when he was frowning too much. 

Surprisingly Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t notice those little ministrations. Kim Dokja is only too happy to mess with the Jedi for a bit.

Then comes one time when they’re ambushed and Yoo Jonghyuk is handicapped, unable to use his lightsaber nor his power. In the last possible moment Kim Dokja reaches for the lightsaber that was thrown out of their reach. It comes flying to his hand and he stabs at their attackers, successfully startling them for a moment, giving Yoo Joonghyuk time to retaliate.

It is then that he finds out about Kim Dokja’s abilities; he’s stumped. 

Of course, with Kim Dokja’s nature, the annoying rat immediately starts to tease Yoo Joonghyuk. It is then that they kiss for the first time; Yoo Joonghyuk finally finding a way to shut Kim Dokja up.

As the story goes, at some point Han Sooyoung reaches out to Yoo Joonghyuk to let him know that the Jedi temple has been attacked and his sister kidnapped among other young padawans, their fate unknown. 

Yoo Joonghyuk is thrown into a frenzy of searching for his sister, his Jedi commitments and missions suddenly insignificant. Kim Dokja is almost left behind, as if they went back to their early days, only by force staying close to Yoo Jonghyuk and keeping him by his side.

The Jedi master will do anything to save his sister. When Kim Dokja notices the unhealthy patterns in his companion’s behaviour, he gets really worried. He starts to leave on his own, trying to find a way to save both Yoo Joonghyuk and his sister. Yoo Joonghyuk is left on his own more and more often. It does nothing good.

Inexorably, Yoo Joonghyuk turns to the dark side — because there is no other way to keep his people alive and well, he’s also constantly trying to find Yoo Mia.

Kim Dokja knows very well the moment he lost Yoo Joonghyuk to the Dark. He was always teasing and prodding, annoying his companion yet never with malice; he was never looked at with clear, honest hate, as well. 

This current Yoo Joonghyuk, who went away to look for his sister and found her in the end, came back different. When they meet again his eyes are full of resentment and betrayal; Kim Dokja would prefer plain indifference to this treatment, yet at the moment he was the one who stood besides the group of Jedi who were threatening Yoo Joonghyuk to hand the children over back to them.

How was he supposed to know that Yoo Joonghyuk had to acknowledge a Dark master in order to find and free the padawans? The evil was being trickled into his ears, poisoning his train of thoughts and memories of those close to him.

Kim Dokja was afraid Yoo Joonghyuk was lost to them.

The young padawans are returned more or less in one piece to the temple, but without Yoo Mia. Yoo Joonghyuk takes her with him, and no one knows where.

As it was always said, the balance needs to be kept. Like the Dark acquired a new student, Kim Dokja is being taken into the Jedi temple for training by Jung Heewon. He often wonders then if the powers he received were the Light part of Yoo Joonghyuk, leaving him only with the Dark within him, which slowly devoured him.

He makes it his mission to bring Yoo Joonghyuk back. Not even to make him Light again, he’s not an altruist really, even while he’s trained in the Jedi ways. He only wants his companion back, alive. 

He looks for him, dragging Han Sooyoung along — who, as he found out, was [tls123]. They bicker constantly during their travels, fights, and while pouring over the text which Han Sooyoung still wrote and posted. He knows that Yoo Joonhyuk is keeping tabs on their position as they trail after him; the things Han Sooyoung mentions are specific to particular places and events. Yet he feels they’re getting closer, in spite of Yoo Joonghyuk going above and beyond to lose them.

Kim Dokja knows it is only a matter of time before he’ll face Yoo Joonghyuk again; he doesn’t know yet how he will bring him back, the bastard was much stronger than him even before he changed sides. The low chances of success don’t throw him off the course, however. He was facing low odds all his life, and overcame them every time. He was still here, after all.

He will see this through to the end, as well.

Damn this is an old thing... cross-posted from twitter and cleaned up. Also posted on AO3 here.

[iam-the-wild]

AI images have such an uncanny feeling to it that I can't explain. There's nothing truly off with most of the images, they can look pretty fine and normal at times but there's still that feeling of it being off. It's like a whole body feeling to be alert because something's wrong, regardless of the context of the images. I have never had the experience of uncanny valley feeling before AI

[blizardstar]

Me when Ashton Greymoore is denied honorable and meaningful self-sacrifice, and now must face the reality that they MUST keep living after it’s All Over

[sometimesraven]

I think there’s also the obvious point that we’re taught from a young age the old “sugar, spice and everything nice”. Girls are pure and lovely and pretty and empathetic, boys are stinky and ugly and mean. So while we are still traumatised by our upbringing we don’t have the same kind of trauma those who grew up being treated like a boy would have, and so our perception of it is complex in a way that’s hard to explain.

For me, my connection with my girlhood is a two-sided coin. It started as longing for the past and turned into a kind of acceptance/embracing of it.

Being raised a girl, especially in the height of “girl power” feminism like I was, is almost comforting?

Like, imagine if the gay bar (or whatever queer space you love most) spanned the whole world. Transphobia still exists but you know you can find someone “like you” absolutely anywhere at any time. You grew up being told that other trans people were the only safe people in the world, you can ALWAYS rely on them, and to a point it’s true — you’re comforted by trans strangers in the bathroom, a trans person runs out to take care of you when you’re attacked in the street, you lament with other trans people about cis bullshit whenever you need, wherever you are. You’re told over and over that cis people don’t have this community or empathy for each other.

Then imagine you suddenly realise you’re cis, and now the world is exactly the same to you — but you no longer have the aforementioned safety nets.

I remember one of the first feelings I had when I realised I was trans was grief. I listened to music and every other song that was on my Spotify involved some kind of female power or female rage or female community. The characters I related to were strong, defiant women. I had been so defined by my perceived gender and biology that everything I turned to for comfort was defined by it too.

I knew it no longer applied to me. Maybe never had.

I still grew up being treated like a girl, I still had those experiences, and being trans meant I would still have that oppression and rage but I no longer have the worldwide support network that was womanhood. It’s hard to face that, hard to let it go. Almost like a cult — suffocating but comforting in the same breath, defined by suffering but blanketed in platitudes.

I think that’s why it’s so easy to fall into TERFism and such. Real cults born of that fear of losing the community we think we have, even if the “community” was just a nationwide coping mechanism and very very conditional.

As I grew into my transness of course my perception changed. I hate that “girl power” cult now even if I sometimes still miss it, so I don’t want anyone to think I’m defining my connection to girlhood by it.

But I still grew up with the double-edged sword of girlhood. I was still treated as a girl, I still experienced the misogyny and rage of being a girl. No amount of transness will change that for me. And the girl power feminism taught me, at least, how to find strength in those differences. I don’t think I would have slipped into my trans rage and joy so easily if I hadn’t been taught how to by my feminine rage and joy as a child.

I found my own joy and acceptance in girlhood and I think that’s why a lot of us don’t feel the need to reject it so wholeheartedly. It wasn’t just something the world forced upon me, it was something I drew strength and power from; something that defined me, maybe wrongly, but did so in a way that spurred me onward.

And maybe that WAS suffocating and wrong and should never have been put upon me but like. It still happened. It still defined me for like 19 years and that’s not something you can just dump in the past and lock the doors against.

Also like. Idk child me feels like a different person. Like I’m honouring her by remembering her reality and still being connected to her.

Ultimately as well not all of us were “born this way”, some of us came into our transness later in life than others, some of us WERE girls or boys before we were trans and I think it can be healthy for us to acknowledge and embrace that. Sometimes shunning the past and locking it away is just doing ourselves a disservice.

Question for the trans guys who still feel a connection to womanhood and femineity:

Why? Personally I've found masculinity very traumatizing, and I can't possibly see why you'd ever feel still connected to an upbringing that was likely also traumatic for you. So why do you still feel a connection to womanhood?

[buildoblivion]

for a character established as a #independent woman it really fucking sucks that Belinda barely had any friends or much of a life of her own

[crippy-tangerine]

Pros of dissociating so much you cannot tell what’s going on: it is easier to ignore bodily disability symptoms! Yay! Get to pretend you are healed and abled!! Able-bodied and healthy!! Yay!!!! We are the epitome of health 🎉.

Cons of dissociating so much you cannot tell what’s going on: it is easier to ignore bodily disability symptoms…. (You are NOT healed, you are getting worse!) (your body is deteriorating and all you do is pretend it isn’t happening) (uh oh!!).

-> Our body is low-key falling apart and we are simply ignoring it. This is so healthy and good. We are so able bodied.!! (/most sarcastic tone ever… This whole post is in a sarcastic and frustrated tone! Cannot recommend ignoring your symptoms at all!!! We just… Cannot get the level of care we need right now, and it is taking its toll…).

[chainsawsdreamer]

love someone reposting my tags to their popular post that completely devalues the art of intention in writing and when i reply back they totally ignore me and go on to argue with people agreeing with me? like okay buddy tell it to my masters in literature and creative writing

[aroceu]

shame is the self killer shame is the authenticity killer shame hides the honesty of your art and the beauty of your own individual uniqueness and voice and thoughts. without embracing the parts of you that people might think are annoying or imperfect or cringe the road to self acceptance and inner peace and lasting happiness will continue to stay that much harder