#connection: guilty as sin

[tayfabe75]

"I love The Blue Nile. Have you ever heard that band? No? Everyone says that to me. Everyone says they've never heard of them. Band from the late '80s called The Blue Nile. The leader singer, the frontman, was a guy... is a guy called Paul Buchanan and it was actually funny how I heard of them a couple years ago. Jessie Ware came over to me. I went to see her live and she came over to me and said, 'I love your band. You love The Blue Nile, don't you?' And I was like, 'No, I don't know what you're talking about'. And she was referencing the fact that what she believed was all of my melodic influences came from that band and I thought that was very strange, and I listened to it. Anyway, two years later, I'm obsessed with The Blue Nile. There's an album called 'Hats' by The Blue Nile. And I think it's... it's one of the best albums of all time. Just in the way that it works and how theatrical it is, and how beautiful it is, and... you can hear so much of The 1975 on that album. So, I'd say that album, at the moment, is a very... is a massive influence on us. Massive."

Jan 20, 2015: Matty describes his love of The Blue Nile and how they became an influence on The 1975's music. (source)

[daisyswift3]

The Acceptance Stage of Grief—The Manuscript and Guilty as Sin

So I realized sth crazy recently. I think the 🎃 messages describe the 5 stages of grief; and I think the standard edition and The Manuscript variant of TTPD have the album cover they do bc it’s a play on the common expression “You’ve made your bed now lie in it" which means to accept the unpleasant results of your actions. This aligns w the Apple Music playlists Taylor made that have The Manuscript as part of the acceptance stage of grief. However, I will caveat this by saying that I don't think the Apple Music playlists are completely accurate as they are full of red herrings to throw everyone off (I'll explain this in more detail shortly) but I do think The Manuscript is one of the few songs that is properly placed and is not a red herring since the bed imagery and connections to the 🎃 messages indicate it represents acceptance. I think the messages not only give us Taylor's overarching story spanning the past decade, they also give us the true 5 stages of grief that are separate from the 5 stages of grief given in the playlists which are mainly for marketing and pr purposes. The messages are likely meant to be a navigation tool for us to more easily cut through all the noise, red herrings, and chaos that has come w TTPD's release (x)(x)(x). In the messages I just linked, 🎃 and 🫚 make it clear that there is a very specific reason why they sent this korner messages explaining the whole messy story. I believe this reason may be related to the TTPD epilogue because in it Taylor is essentially saying she’s at the mercy of the general public and her fans as she’s on trial in a court of public opinion; and I think our role is to serve as the “witnesses” to help her win this case and prove that she didn’t completely lie abt everything because otherwise how would this small group of ppl on tumblr have figured it out yrs ago? I think it’s possible that after coming out Taylor may direct ppl to this korner to prove that the truth was there hidden in plain sight the whole time if you were just willing to dig a little deeper past the surface level interpretations.

In this album cover, Taylor is literally lying in a bed that she’s made bc she is accepting whatever the consequences of her actions are. The story isn’t hers anymore, she’s sent it out into the world like a message in a bottle and now it’s just a matter of time. Come what may. This is the end of the 9th 🎃 message and I believe all of the 10th message as well since she chooses to step through the closet door accepting whatever fate lies on the other side. This connects to the most recent volcano anon message as well (x). I think the first part of the 9th message represents the depression stage of grief since it’s explaining that Taylor is a tortured poet because she is forced to hide her truth behind metaphors and red herrings which are likely the old habits that die screaming in The Black Dog, a common symbol of depression. In the fortnight mv, she is literally being tortured in an asylum w electroshock therapy (which is one of the same methods of conversion therapy they use to used on queer ppl) while a black dog lingers nearby.

In the Apple Music playlists, Taylor put The Black Dog in the anger playlist, but as I mentioned earlier I think this may be because the playlists are supposed to be more for swifties and to sell the Toe breakup narrative. Because, if you think abt it, it doesn't really make sense for The Black Dog, which is commonly used to represent depression, to symbolize anger. It also doesn't make sense for the acceptance stage playlist to be called I Can Do It With a Broken Heart when the song ICDIWABH is actually in the denial stage playlist. The math does not math. I think she was purposely trying to make it confusing for the general public and fans to make the puzzle harder to decipher so she gave them low hanging fruit. I think it's possible that the vinyl variants, which each have a bonus track that has a corresponding 🎃 message, are the actual 5 stages of grief. The Albatross = anger, The Bolter = bargaining, The Black Dog = depression, and The Manuscript = acceptance. I think it’s possible that she chose to only have 4 variants to make it harder to connect them to the 5 stages of grief and to make it look like the 5 stages of grief were just a last minute thing she threw together because she was running w swifties’ theories. But since the 5 stages of grief show up in the messages, it’s clear that this was sth she’s had planned for a while and it wasn’t just a last minute decision. I think that the denial stage may just be represented by a message and song.

“Six weeks of breathin' clean air, I still miss the smoke” -> The “smoke” is the smokescreen/Lavender Haze/blowing smoke/smoke and mirrors/bearding/pr stunts/red herrings/metaphors that she uses to cover up her truth like a magician pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes. She’s no longer going to use these tactics of trickery and deception but it’s not an easy habit to break when you’ve been doing it your whole life and it’s essentially your default state. Just like how it’s hard for a smoker to stop smoking cigarettes, which is probably another layer of this line making it a double entendre. I think this is what the lavender haze mv scene w her blowing smoke is meant to represent. As the clock gets closer to midnight she’s going to start this process of unraveling the “braids of lies” she’s woven over the years and it’s going to be a very difficult and painful process. I haven't done a full analysis of The Black Dog yet but I believe it's similar to TSMWEL, Peter, Fortnight, and Chloe et al where it's a conversation between Taylor the brand and Taylor the person. At the end of the song, Taylor the person finally chooses her happiness and her lover over her image/brand, which is the cause of her depression -> "Cause tail between your legs you're leaving and I still can't believe it cause old habits die screaming." She burns all the files and gets rid of her house which is likely the lover house. This is when she drags the "enemy" in the 8th message into the shark infested waters which I'll explain in the next paragraph.

The Bolter vinyl variant, represented by the entire 8th 🎃 message, is likely supposed to symbolize the bargaining stage of grief. I think she achieves part of the acceptance stage when she chooses to jump into the shark infested waters which may be why The Bolter edition also has her lying in a bed and why the 10th message (acceptance) seems to be a direct continuation of the 8th message. In the 8th message, the “enemy,” which is likely just Taylor herself or her public persona/reputation, is trying to make a deal w her—quite literally bargaining w her—and asking her lover to jump into the shark infested waters (destroy her reputation and get eaten alive by the fans and general public). Taylor refuses the deal since Karlie has been through enough already and jumps into the waters choosing to sacrifice her brand and image instead ->

“He [the enemy] was a cad, wanted her bad just like any good trophy hunter ['I've been the archer, I've been the prey'], And she liked the way it tastes, Taming a bear [Taylor’s made it clear she’s the bear], making him care, watching him jump then pulling him under, And at first blush this is fate, When it's all roses, portrait poses, Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats, What a charming Saturday, That's when she sees the littlest leaks down in the floorboards And she just knows she must bolt ['And you know in your soul when it's time to go']” //

8th 🎃 message: “You are not a hero. You never have been, and you never will be. You're a selfish asshole. But there are some people in this world worth breaking character for. And so in one swift motion [pun intended], you replace the solid boards beneath your feet with rushing deep blue water.”

10th 🎃 message: “You limp over uneven ground, smiling at the pain of the shark bite with each excruciating step - replaying the satisfying splash as you finally chose her over the world. As you grabbed the enemy and dove into the infested waters.”

The Apple Music playlists have The Bolter in the denial playlist but again I believe this is a red herring since the themes in the 8th message align more w the bargaining and acceptance stages.

(If you want to read more abt the connections to midsummer/midsommar see this excellent thread on the June 21/midsummer eve easter eggs)

I think this might also be what the bed imagery in Guilty As Sin and the Wildest Dreams eras tour visuals represents. She has accepted that when she reveals the truth many ppl, especially the conservative evangelical Christians, are probably gonna tell her she’s going to hell because she’s in a relationship w a woman, and figuratively burn her at the stake like the ppl accused of witchcraft and heresy in the middle ages were and this really ties in w all the religious imagery in this album -> “my bedsheets are ablaze” // “you’ll see me in hindsight tangled up with you all night burning it down" // BDILH eras tour visuals. We’ve discussed how in the TTPD epilogue she’s on trial in the court of public opinion and the jury is her fans and the general public. I think Guilty as Sin is her essentially saying “yes it’s true, I committed the crime of loving another woman; condemn me to hell if you want.” I find it interesting that it’s posed as a question “Guilty as Sin?” as if she’s asking the jury if they deem her worthy of punishment. It’s ultimately up to them to determine her fate and decide whether she’s guilty or not guilty. Some other kaylors pointed out that in the wildest dreams visuals Taylor looks completely at peace, sleeping soundly while everything burns around her. This likely symbolizes how she’s made peace w the fact that many fans may leave her and she may lose her career when she comes out—it indicates complete acceptance of any ensuing consequences.

(x)

But wait there’s more! I think there’s another layer to this song that relates to something very important she said in the rep prologue that many swifties conveniently ignore: “There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory, because it's 2017 and if you didn't see a picture of it, it couldn't have happened right?” The obvious answer to this posed question, which is more rhetorical than anything, is NO. Why? Because “We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us” i.e. Taylor is only showing the public one side of herself w pap walks, staged photos, and social media posts and she can keep the other sides of herself hidden if she wants by just not doing these things. If she wants the public to know sth they will know abt it and if she doesn’t want them to know sth they won’t know abt it. Taylor knows that her fans have willfully ignored this message that she’s repeatedly tried to send to them over the years; so now she’s flipping the question on it’s head and using their inattentiveness to her advantage. She’s now saying “Well you guys never actually caught me and Karlie in the act, there’s no photographic or video evidence, so how can I be guilty as sin? I mean you said it yourself by ignoring this prologue. There is no picture; therefore it did not happen. So by your own logic I cannot be guilty!”

I also find it interesting that the bedsheets on the album cover and eras tour visuals are plain white 🤍. White is commonly a symbol of purity and innocence. This may be the purpose of the black and white aesthetic of TTPD—black for guilty 🖤, white for not guilty or innocent 🤍. The black and white may also relate to her duality and how she has 2 versions of herself that are in opposition to each other, Taylor Swift the person vs Taylor Swift the brand.

Just in case you got lost during my ramblings and tangents, I'll give you the tldr as well:

Beginning of 8th 🎃 message -> Bargaining stage: The Bolter; the enemy [Taylor Swift the brand/her reputation] wants to make a deal w her

Beginning of 9th 🎃 message -> Depression stage: The Black Dog; "old habits [red herrings/bearding/lavender haze/smoke and mirrors] die screaming"; Taylor is a tortured poet because she is forced to dilute her truth w metaphors, symbolism, and red herrings and this feeds into her depression

End of 8th and 9th 🎃 message and all of 10th 🎃 message -> Acceptance stage: The Manuscript and Guilty as Sin; she has made her bed and now is lying in it; represents the peaceful acceptance of any ensuing consequences; she has sent her story out into the world like a message in a bottle and made her case; now it is now up to her fans and the general public [the court of public opinion] to determine if she is guilty or not guilty; real Taylor has killed her old habits and the black dog by dragging her public persona into shark infested waters and burning down the lover house which represents her closet and music empire

Since this post is already lengthier than I wanted it to be I won't go into detail abt the denial and anger stages but I believe it's possible these are represented by the 1st and 2nd 🎃 messages respectively assuming the 5 stages of grief are in the usual order in the messages. The Albatross is obviously an angry song abt getting revenge on someone--most likely Scooter--so it makes sense for it to represent the anger stage; plus the same parachute metaphor that's in The Albatross shows up in the 2nd message which is related to the failed coming out and mastersheist which Scooter was involved in so it checks out. Then working backwards, this leaves the 1st message, which perfectly parallels The Prophecy, for the denial stage. I believe the 1st message is abt her first big pivot, her first failed coming out, during rep era (going full throttle on her getaway bike then slamming on the breaks which damages her heel) which was originally supposed to be lover/daylight. This would explain why she clips the wings of her TS6 jet and spray paints "reputation" on the side while wearing a palm tree outfit which relates to the palm tree/paradise easter eggs during lover era. I think this pivot may have been the thing that started this downward spiral through the 5 stages of grief hence why it represents the denial stage. Of course this is all just my interpretation of everything and I could be wrong. Feel free to share your thoughts, I'd love to hear other ppl's interpretations!

[octopodian]

i saw there was a relationship flowchart in the Guilty Gear 10th Memorial Book (scanned by @tallgreenlady who sent me a high res version! thank you!) and i wanted to see what everything said in English... so here it is! tumblr has compressed the images a lot but it should be legible, i hope.

disclaimer: i know next to no japanese and relied on a dictionary for a lot of this, so it might be missing some nuances that a fluent speaker would be able to catch, but i did try to be as accurate as possible! (that's also why i didn't try at any of the paragraphs; sorry!)

[foodlesoodlesdoodles]

Blind Child at most age 9 goes on side quest after her father disappears and her astronaut mother dies in crash, more at 11

[number1hoaxstan]

Okay but when Taylor says “am I bad, or mad, or wise?” Did you know she’s (probably) referring to what Lady Caroline Lamb said about Lord Byron, major Romantic poet, notorious rake, and toast of London society, after he broke off their affair? That he was “mad, bad, and dangerous to know?” That she sort of invented the Byronic hero? That she was after they broke up she injured herself with a broken wine glass at a ball? And they wrote poems in each others’ styles for the rest of their lives?

[alivingtypo]

Ok maybe people are already talking about this but I haven’t seen it so here we go.

in guilty as sin? we hear:

“I keep these longings locked

In lowercase inside a vault”

The vault like “from the vault” easy connection.

But the lowercase is reminding me of reputation (probably another easy connection).

So the rep vault is going to have at least one song connecting to guilty as sin?

[fionnaskyborn]

On a scale from one to ten, how based of me is it that I took the GGST survey for the second time just to put a BlazBlue character that appeared in exactly one novel and then never again in one of my three "additional character I would like to see the most in the future" spots?

[aphrmoosun]

Here is the list everybody needs. A list of my favourite Nomae fanfics (I must confess I have read more than once already):

1. Fates Entwined By The Stars

Set after the events of Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Noa resumes his duties with the Eagle Clan, but one particular human woman, who has re-entered his life, continues to plague his mind.

2. Revelations

"Humans don't say 'copulate'; for us it's either having sex or making love."

Mae insisted that, although humans can do it purely for pleasure or relief, they also use it as a way to feel a connection with the person they love. Noa didn't understand then, but he does now.

3. The Conflict of The Planet of The Apes

This story take place 300 days after the event of The Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes.

4. Guilty As Sin?

“What if he’s written mine,

on my upper thigh,

only in my mind?”

In which, Noa can’t escape his dreams of Mae in her absence, so he seeks her company.

5. Echoes of Eden

This story explores the fragile hope for reconciliation in a world torn apart by fear and prejudice. Can Noa and Mae forge a path toward peace, or will the shadows of old wars darken the future dreamed of by the legendary Caesar?

Shout-out to all the Nomae nation that spend their time giving us this content. Even though we don't have a kotpota page on Ao3 nor the tags of the characters on the pota page and still we fight to get the page there and it is updated every day. I don't know what they are waiting for ...?

[whatacaitastrophe]

Guilty as Sin?

Summary: After confessing his feelings for Tav, Gale fantasizes about them back in his tent, because he's an idiot who said they needed to wait a little longer to explore their mutual desires.

Rating: Explicit Words: ~1k

Tags: Pillow Humping, Masturbation, Gender neutral Tav, Tav is referred to as "You" Song Inspo: "Guilty as Sin?" - Taylor Swift Author Notes: Shout out to the Magic Man discord server for making me write this, and shout out to Taylor Swift for writing a song about masturbation.

“It’s quite thrilling— to fight off such grim creatures as this region throws at us. Especially at your side.”

Despite the raised eyebrows from Shadowheart and the snide remarks from Astarion (“Really? You’re telling them this now? Right now?”), Gale wasn’t sorry for confessing his attraction to you after the heat of battle. Now that Elminster had quieted the orb in Gale’s chest, he was no longer afraid to be candid about his attraction to you. After all, the mere thought of kissing you was, until recently, a threat to Gale’s very existence. He was touch starved, and now that he could finally do something about it? Why would he wait to finally lay the groundwork of his desires with you until you were alone. 

Besides, saying it in front of Astarion also had its perks. The vampire could no longer feign ignorance to the connection Gale shared with you. Therefore, Astarion could no longer continue flirting with you, or do anything else the two of you were doing in the dead of night while everyone else slept, without blatantly walking into Gale’s territory. 

Declaring his intentions with you (and hearing you say that you felt the same way) sent a message, loud and clear: You belonged to Gale, and Astarion needed to back the fuck off. 

The only misstep Gale made when confessing his attraction to you was insisting that it wasn’t the time or place, that the two of you needed to wait a little longer before exploring your desires. If he’s being honest with himself, that just might be the stupidest thing Gale has ever said. 

That was the thought that kept Gale up after everyone else went to sleep, tossing and turning as he silently kicked himself for not immediately inviting you to his tent. There was a reason, of course, Gale wanted the gesture to be as beautiful and grand as the object of his affections, and he couldn’t do it after a full day of flinging spells at shadow-cursed creatures. Damn his lofty ambitions for getting the best of him, even in the simplest ways. 

Gale huffed with frustration as he rolled onto his back, the thoughts of you plaguing his mind and making his cock impossibly hard. As Gale slid his hand over his chest, he could only pray that  this would be his last night indulging in a fantasy about you instead of indulging in the real thing. 

Closing his eyes, Gale started off slowly—palming himself over his pajamas, squeezing his shaft gently. He imagined it was you: You with your soft hands that he’d had the pleasure of brushing against while sitting around the campfire. It was you that slipped deft fingers beneath the hem of his trousers, stroking Gale’s cock with feather light touches. It was you who pulled Gale’s trousers down past his hips, allowing his already leaking cock to spring free from its confines. 

“I’ve been waiting for this, for so long.” You said in his mind as he slowly stroked his cock, imagining the way you’d tease him because oh— you would tease him, Gale was certain of it. After all, the two of you had already spent weeks flirting and verbally teasing each other. Why wouldn’t you want to drag it out a little longer. 

“Please,” Gale begged audibly, speaking only to the image of you in his head. “I need more.” Gale stroked himself harder as he imagined you complying with his request, leaning forward and enveloping his cock with the wet, hot heat of your mouth. Gale arched his hips into his hand, a soft moan tumbling from his lips at the thought of you swallowing his cock to the hilt until it tickled the back of your throat. 

When he couldn’t take it any longer, Gale reached for one of the many pillows he had in his tent and rolled over desperately, placing the pillow between his legs as he straddles it. A soft moan left Gale’s mouth as he braced one hand on the ground and held the pillow in place with the other. As he began grinding against the pillow, the vision in his mind shifted. 

You’re beneath him now, your body ready and waiting to take him. Gale imagines what you sound like when you moan as he slides his cock inside of you— how pretty your voice sounds when Gale is the source of your pleasure instead of someone else. How pretty Gale’s name will sound when it’s sung from your lips as he fucks you. A quiet moan passes through Gale’s lips at the thought as he ruts against the pillow, aching and desperate for you. 

“Harder.” Your voice is crystal clear in Gale’s mind, as is your body trembling beneath him as he fucks you the way you requested. With a subtle flick of his wrist, the pillow becomes warm beneath him. It’s not quite the same as having a body beneath him, but it will do. Gale’s hips snapped desperately as he chased his pleasure and pretended that it’s not a pillow beneath him, sheathing his cock as he moved, but the velvet warmth of your inner walls. 

“Gods, you look incredible,” Gale whimpered softly as he pictured his thick length sliding in and out of you. “You take me so well.” He whispered to no one as he doubled his efforts, hips rutting erratically as Gale’s climax swiftly approached. 

“I love you.” 

Those were the last words Gale imagined leaving your lips before slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the moan that escapes him as he cums with a shout. Hot spurts of semen burst from Gale’s cock as he rode the pillow into his own personal oblivion, ruining the fabric beneath him the same way he imagined ruining you. 

It was only once his cock was spent and over-sensitive that Gale collapsed onto his bedroll, panting, sweating, and dizzy from the intensity of his climax. The visions of you fade away slowly as Gale stares at the ceiling of his tent, leaving him only as satisfied as one can be after masturbating while the object of their desire slept a dozen feet away: spent, but already aching for more. 

Tomorrow. 

Tomorrow Gale would volunteer to stay back at camp so he could save his strength, so he could save his magic, for you. 

Tomorrow, Gale would make you completely and utterly his. He needed to. 

Because if he didn’t, he was going to run out of pillows. 

[matan4il]

Have you noticed how almost everything that the anti-Israel crowd accuses people who simply recognize Israel's right to exist of, is (in additional to usually being false) stuff they're guilty of themselves?

"You support ethnic cleansing!"

What do you think it means, when you chant the English translation of "From water to water, Palestine will be Arab"?

"You support an ethno-state!"

Do you call for the destruction of every single nation state, such as Germany, Japan, France, and so on? No? Then so do you. Have you called for the establishment of a Palestinian state? Then, so do you. Between Hamas ruling Gaza and being genocidal when it comes to Jews, and Mahmoud Abbas (president of the Palestinian Authority) stating no Israelis will be allowed in the State of Palestine (and by "Israelis" we all know he doesn't mean the Arab citizens of Israel, he's talking about Jews) that's going to be an ethno-state, too. Oh, you meant a "pure" ethno-state. Those don't exist in today's reality, and Israel, with 27% of its citizens being non-Jews, is no exception.

"Oct 7 didn't happen in a vacuum, you're ignoring the context of the past 75 years!"

You are ignoring big chunks of anti-Jewish violence during these 75 years, you're ignoring the expulsion of almost 900,000 Jews from Arab and Muslim countries, you're ignoring the anti-Jewish violence and persecution that preceded the establishment of the Land of Israel, and you're ignoring all 3,500 years (at least) of Jewish existence in and connection to our ancestral homeland, Israel.

"You support collective punishment!"

The same way you do, when you chant, "When people are occupied, resistance is justified"? Because that's what it means, that for the sin of Israel supposedly being a colonial state (a false claim, since Jews are native to Israel), you're justifying raping 13 year old girls, shooting them in the head, murdering Holocaust survivors, burning babies alive... what's that if not supporting collective punishment? (that's before we get into the fact that Israel not surrendering in a war started by Hamas is NOT collective punishment, or else we would have to define the allies not surrendering to the Nazis in WWII as collective punishment of the Germans)

"You suppor apartheid!"

All Israeli citizens have the same civil rights. Apartheid in South Africa was a system where citizens of the country had their rights limited based on skin color/ancestry. The issue in South Africa wasn't that racism existed (IDK a single country where racism doesn't), it's that it was codified into law, and used against the rights of that country's own citizens. Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs have the same rights. Non-Israeli Palestinians not having the same rights as Israelis, including as Israeli Arabs, is the same as French Canadians not having the same rights in the US as French Americans. It is NOT proof the US is applying a system of apartheid unto French people. And if it were, then I have news for you, every country applies different rights to citizens vs not citizens, so every country would be an apartheid state by this criterion. Which would make the word meaningless, and it would diminish the suffering of non-whites under South Africa's apartheid (as some young black South Africans who have actually been to Israel now point out). Meanwhile, I'll point back up to where Mahmoud Abbas said no Israelis (i.e Jews) will be allowed in Palestine, and that under the Palestinian Authority, a Palestinian can be jailed or executed for selling land to Jews, which means the PA demolishes the right to property (of Jews to own it, and of the PA's Palestinian citizens to sell it as they see fit) based solely on the ancestry of the buyer... And you support the PA, right?

"You deny the Nakba!"

I had never encountered any Israeli denying that roughly 850,000 Arabs fled Israel due to the War of Independence. Pointing out that the Arabs are the ones who started that war isn't the same as denying it happened. Meanwhile, the people who make this accusation, largely deny the expulsion of the Jews from Arab and Muslim countries, deny the suffering, discrimination, expulsions and massacres Jews had endured for centuries under Arab and Muslim regimes, and deny the atrocities of Oct 7.

"You support colonialism!"

Say the people who deny the native rights of the Jews, who act as if these rights are limited by time (as if such a limitation benefits anyone other than actual colonizers), who ignore the fact that Palestinians wouldn't exist here without Arab colonialism, or who wish to confer a native status unto them by virtue of... being settler colonialists for a "long time" (to be clear, the way the UN's definition of a Palestinian refugee works, it only requires a person to have been an Arab* settler colonialist in Israel during the 2 years prior to the founding of the Israeli state, to be recognized as a Palestinian. To become a US citizen, in addition to other requirements, you have to live in the US for at least 5 years, 3 if married to an American citizen. That means in June of 1946, it was easier to become a Palestinian "native" in the eyes of the UN, than an American citizen). Don't get me wrong, Palestinians have a right to live in the place where they were born. I can both recognize that they're here due to Arab colonialism, AND be okay with them living here. Just like I can recognize that no Americans today deserve to be displaced, even though the majority of them are there thanks to colonialism. And I don't have to pretend like Americans of European descent have suddenly become native (something that if I did, would probably hurt actual Native Americans), in order to recognize their right to live where they were born. It's just ironic that if we took the logic of the anti-Israel crowd when it comes to native Jews, and applied it to all native peoples, this would harm the natives, erase their rights, recognize their colonizers as natives, and generally help colonialism.

There's probably more, but I think this is demonstrative enough.

* Technically, the UN didn't specify ancestry. As an idea, you could be Arab, Jewish, a Polish Catholic priest living in a convent in the Land of Israel from Jun '46 to May '48, and you'd be recognized as a Palestinian by the UN, but in reality this definition ended up favoring all non-Jewish colonizers of the land. In 1952, Israel said, "It's okay, we'll take care of the Jewish refugees displaced by the War of Independence. No need for the UN to do so. This is what we set up a Jewish state for." This is in addition to Israel taking care of the Jewish refugees from Arab and Muslim countries, and Jewish Holocaust survivors. And for Israel's show of responsibility, the now-Israeli Jewish refugees have been punished. They don't get recognized as existing, as having been displaced by, and having suffered due to the war the Arabs started in the Land of Israel against its Jewish communities. "Palestinian" refers to non-Jews only from the second The British Mandate in Palestine's Jews became Israeli Jews, but that doesn't stop the anti-Israel crowd from falsely claiming there are Palestinian Jews today... even though since May of 1948, there aren't, and before that, those Palestinian Jews were British subjects, not the citizens of an Arab independent state called Palestine (something that has never historically existed). Thanks to the exclusion in practice of Jews from the definition of Palestinian refugee, the UN agency for taking care of Palestinian refugees, UNRWA became a tool of spreading anti-Jewish hate.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[tayfabe75]

"I was talking to Paul Buchanan, about this right, the guy from The Blue Nile, because I'm obsessed with him and then he heard that we were obsessed and we met up and we spoke about music, he's a fucking legend. Erm, people just assume that every single line is a… is a deeply perfect… A lot of it is… a lot of those things are just ideas. Like Change of Heart for example, I got a phone call off my ex-girlfriend just going fucking nuts saying like, 'How dare you say those kind of things,' and she just basically joined the dots - she'd just taken that and thought, 'well that means that and that means that,' if you've got loads of subtext of like, a relationship you're going to do that, and I kind of had to be a bit like, 'It's not even really about you, sorry. Sorry! And it wasn't cheating but we haven't been together for you and really about someone else, sorry…'"

December 2, 2016: When asked which song got him into the most trouble, Matty describes an angry phone he received from an ex. (source)

[jacaerysgf]

just a little 1k wc smutty drabble of jacaerys eating good, enjoy 😊

You wish you hadn't seen it. What they had been doing, for it is had been plaguing your mind all day. You try to shake off the burning desire in your stomach as you recall the events.

You can’t, for even while you're kissing your husband you are thinking about it. He pulls away from you, a small string of saliva connects the two of you and as he stares at you with hearts in his eyes. “Is something wrong dear?”

You and Jacaerys have always had a very standard time in the bedroom. It is always very pleasurable for you, though you now know that is not the norm after some very shocking and concerning conversations with the other ladies in court, and this leaves you feeling guilty.

Guilty for wanting more of him, wanting him to consume you, for wanting him to give you more when he has already been selfish enough.

“It is nothing dear.” You attempt to push your lips against his once more but he holds your shoulders firmly in place, looking at you worriedly. “You are not yourself. If you are not up for it tonight we do not have to bed, i will not force myself on you.”

This has your heart aching as you look down. He is always so kind and so sweet to you. Which makes you feel like a dirty animal for the thoughts you are thinking.

“I do want to, so badly dear its just,,,” You trail off , turning your head the other way. He is quick to grab your chin and tilt your head back up to look at him. “What is it? If it is something i can do for you i will do it.”

You know he can do it. Or at least you hope he can.

“I had been walking around and i stumbled upon something,” You hesitate, unable to believe the words that are about to drip out of your mouth. “they were a squire and a maid, in the wine cellar, he had he propped up on one of the boxes, he seemed to be giving her pleasure but,” “but what?” Jacaerys voice is shaky, his hands rattle on your skin, he is desperate to hear your words, his breath fans on your skin in a rapid rhythm.

“But his head was between her legs. It is sinful and it is scandalous but i have never seen or heard anything like that before. It had engraved itself in my mind and i cannot stop thinking about ti, the blissful look on her face, not that you do not give me pleasure of course but this looked like it was different. Im sorry i know it is wrong to think about-” You gasp as his lips press heavily against yours.

He grips your jaw with a fury as he kisses you like he never has before. He pulls away from you and presses your foreheads together as you catch your breath. “You wish for me to do that to you my sweet? i will i will do it, gods i have been thinking about this for so long. You let out a squeal as he lightly pushes you to fall onto your back.

“Truly? Then why have you never brought this up before?” He looks embarrassed but he cannot stop himself from tugging up your nightgown to pool around your hips and reveal you bare to him. “It is quite, carnal, i suppose theres no better word for it. I did not think i lady like you would be interested.”

He presses a kiss against your stomach before he looks up at you once more. Its breathtaking to see him at an angle like this, simply staring up at you, you try to catch your breath but you are unable to as he begins to trail kisses down your stomach before stopping right where you want him and moving instead to grab your legs and place them on either sides of his shoulders.

You should feel humiliated, shame should be coursing through your veins but the way jacaerys has an awestruck look as he admires you and the way his hands softly caress your skin is enough to quench any worries and fears you have.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks, despite the fact that it had been your idea. “Yes.” There is not way you can stop your desire, certainly not with how desperate he seems, like he is dying to be able to put his head between your legs.

His face disappears from your view and you feel him kiss around your thighs. You whine as he continues to simply brush around where you want him and he chuckled, “i’m sorry i will not tease you.”

You wanted to say something back to him but you suddenly jump and a shiver runs down your spine as you feel his hot wet tongue push past your folds.

You harshly grip the top of his head as he hims content, the vibration adding another level of pleasure. You get why the woman seemed to pleased, this was on another plane of ecstasy.

Your head thrown back as he continues to lap against you, the sounds in the room leave your skin feeling hot. You continue to revel in the feeling of him licking at you, drinking up every drop you let out until you also feel something harder press against you. His nose.

You have no clue how he’s even breathing. But you cannot find it in you to care as you find your hips moving on their own, rubbing against his face, hitting his tongue and his nose so perfectly it has you seeing stars.

“Keep doing that please.” He pulls away for a quick second to speak before he is right back to it. You listen, continuing to rut yourself again his face, unable to contain your moans. You’re sure everyone in the damn keep could hear you but you don’t care.

You do notice something curious, he is rutting himself against the bed, the moans he pours into you adds to your pleasure. Was he surely so pleased by this? by bringing you pleasure he had no other choice than to try and quench his own hunger by rutting himself against your sheets like a dog?

You have no time to dwell on it as he brings one of his hands to your clit, taking it in his fingers and rubbing it around. You’re thrown into a whirlwind of pleasure like you couldn't believe. You're sure this is what heaven must feel like.

His hand slides up your chest and you lock your fingers with his as you feel yourself drawing closer and closer to your release. It is like your souls locking together. He grips you so tightly and you grip his back as your face contorts in pleasure as you burst.

You continue to wither in pleasure as he laps up every single drop of essence you spill out in your release. He sits up and stares at you with wide eyes, his usual brown eyes lost in a storm of black, pleasure seeping into his soul.

You can see the shine gloss all over his face, his nose, his jaw, his chin, his lips and his lip especially are noticeable as you can see they are redder and bigger. You watch as he licks his lips and grins at you. “That is so much better than i could have ever dreamed of.”

You have to agree

<3 went a little crazy and wrote this yesterday when i was freaking out of jace <3

Perm Jacaerys taglist

@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aegonswife @jacesvelaryons

[hanakoofthejungle]

My most favourite Overlord Husk AU fanfictions

I am no expert in writing, just a regular fangirl whose brain is constantly occupied by HuskerDust. I like these fics purely based on the kicks I get out of reading reading them. HuskerDust fanfiction is my drug now :))))

All of this start commonly with Husk winning Angel's soul in a game against Valentino, the two eventually got involved romantically but ...

Blue Is Not Your Colour by Shienkha (competed)

It is rare to see Husk as deeply flawed, an addict to his poison (gambling) as much as Angel to sex. Both fell victims to their addiction, ultimately ruined their chance at happiness. In the end, Husk lost his soul to Alastor and Angel went back to Valentino. Husk realized only then that he loved Angel. The two finally reunited at the Hazbin Hotel, connecting the story to the canon.

“And a spade,” he whispered to himself as he headed out, slipping the ring to his chest pocket, “to symbolise how far I would have gone for you.”

As far as it would have taken to keep you happy.

Or, in the absence of it…

… as safe as one can be in Hell.

This is absolutely the best fic in my opinion.

2. Loved You Like Religion by cokedupdicksuckinghoe (completed)

This is as beautiful as the song after which the fic is titled.

Angel killed Valentino to save Husk. Husk was oblivious to his feeling until Angel seduced him with "Why Don't You Do Right". In the end, Husk prepared to throw everything away for Angel.

"He was devoted to Angel; he loved him like religion."

3. To A Player Everything Is A Game by Tat_Tat (completed)

A bundle of domestic bliss. This fic is my guilty pleasure. Whenever I came across a traumatic HuskerDust fic, I come back to this to save myself from the anxiety.

4. Call Your Bluff by @razzapplemagic

Angel relapsed and went back to Valentino after being 'rejected' by Husk. He later worked through his traumas, left Valentino on his own while befriending Vaggie during Extermination Day. As of the latest update, Angel came back to the casino and reconciled with Husk. The two began dating and Angel prepared to face Valentino once more.

5. Wicked Old Soul by BunnyBight

Husk put Angel in therapy with Charlie. Angel didn't appreciate Husk making decision for him and concealing his status as the Gambling Overlord. Angel was wooed by a charismatic lion who was hired by Vox to kidnap him. Husk came to the rescue. Angel and Husk, following their language roller coaster confession of love, signed a new contract which shared Husk's soul and all souls he owned with Angel. Angel became a new overlord with intriguing powers :)))

6. Someone You Can Bet On by Shigariope

Angel begged Husk to play a game with Valentino for his soul. Husk not only won Angel's soul, he also put a ring on his finger to safeguard his Overlord image. I look forward to see how their marriage of convenience progresses :)))

7. House of Cards by abookomaps

Valentino tortures Angel with angelic weapon. Husk proved Angel's worth by betting that Angel can make in one day what Valentino made in a month.

8. But you've got company by mamini2000 (completed)

Angel thought Husk was just an bartender then they fell in love.

9. Mine NOW Val by Rocher1893

Angel filled in for Husk's lounge singer. Husk devised a plan to help him get away from Valentino.

10. When the King Cat finds his Spider by Blahaj_Enjoyer

Husk demanded Angel's soul as collateral for his trade deal with Valentino. Valentino can film at Husk's casino, while he got Angel as new employee. It is precisely because Husk didn't technically own Angel's soul yet that I want to see how this story progresses.

11. Consequences by Bigredboi (completed)

To protect Angel, Husk killed Valentino and the Sin of Greed, becoming the new Sin.

12. First Breath by huskapologist

As of the latest update, Husk and Angel were plagued by nightmares and I by cliffhanger :))

13. Casino of love by @artwaterfall

A slow burn bliss following Angel's path to recovery from his pasts trauma and insecurity. If you are looking for Husk falling in love listening to Angel singing New side of me, this is the best description there is. If I didn't already have a significant other, I would have fallen in love with the spider myself just by reading that chapter, and I had the goosebump to prove it. This story is a treat that I look forward to every week.

14. I Can Only Blame Myself by InkPhoenix

Angle ran away from Valentino and collapsed before an extermination. He was saved by Husk and now had to deal with new disability and the possibility of being sent back to Valentino.

15. Sober to Death by BrainRotgoBrrrrr

Angel beat Husk at poker and he decided to buy him off Valentino. Alastor was eyeing Husk's soul.

16. Luck Be A Lady Tonight by Basic_Witch

Valentino used Angel to spy on Husk. Meanwhile, Husk taught Angel how to play cards and valued his business ideas.

17. The Gambler by @5carecr0w

Angel's appearance somehow brought luck to Husk's game with Alastor, saving him from losing his soul. Angel became his new lucky charm.

18. Him & His Libertine Principles by @thiccspices

Alastor enlisted Husk to make a bet against Valentino. Husk found Angel pathetic.

19. Cat’s Eye Casino by Lunatic_caramelle

Absolute bliss :)) As of the latest update, Husk was attacked by Val's men and injured. Angel took care of him while he healed and they grew closer.

20. Fates Gamble (two traumatized gay men rediscover love) by Chaosfrog

As of the latest update, the Vees had hidden cameras installed throughout the casino, giving Vox's control over machines and tables there. 'Whatever will befall my favourite couple?', I asked while waiting for updates every day :)))

21. High Stakes by dreamnplay (completed)

Husk wanted Angel to work the floor on a 10-hour shift per day. Angel thought he want him to f*ck customers for 10 hours a day. Read this and you will wonder when they will start communicate openly and honestly.

22. My Kingdom for The Soul of an Angel by meg_a_dork (completed)

Absolute domestic bliss with shopping, cooking, cuddling and everything. Angel proposed to Husk first :))) They got married and had cake 🍰

23. Ace of my Heart by Karmawillcollect (completed)

Angel beat Husk at poker and he bought him off Valentino. Guilty pleasure smut ensues :)))

24. My Atlantis by Satan_Has_A_Wife (completed)

Husk was bad at feeling, thinking Angel only loved him because he owned his soul and had been half-decent to him. Angel got Husk all hot and bothered seeing him with a gun. Cherri approved of Husk.

25. I Don’t Want The World But I’ll Take This City by highfemmeicequeen

Husk was bad at feeling and thought he knew what Angel wanted. Angel was angry, tired of being told who he was and what he wanted.

26. Love in Bonds by QueenofShadows1987

Husk and Angel dived head first into a relationship based on a 'standard' BDSM contract. Note that Husk is not the consent King we know and love here and Angel had no choice but to be his mate.

27. No Rest for the Wicked by @camelliea

It's been over 20 years since Angel was freed from Valentino yet the moth's shadow was still looming over his relationship with Husk. Husk made alliance with Alastor to destroy the Vees.

28. Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend by @purple-hyacynths

The two started of on hostile term. Angel was being a brat because of self-loathing.

29. House of Cards by Transparent_Existence (completed)

Angel and Husk are getting closer and one of Husk trusted employee can't have that.

30. High Rolling at the Grand Casino by Turntechgodliness (AmberzillaRex)

Angel became new lounge singer at Husk's casino.

31. Loaded Dice by Tat_Tat

Husk is a corrupted overlord.

32. Facing Down the King of Cards by LevySutcliffe (completed)

Husk won Angel in a gamble with Vox and Val for Alastor's soul. Yes, Alastor made a deal with Husk and temporarily gave his soul to him and is now staff at the casino. Angel becomes Husk's fashion designer and workshop of his own. Husk is looking for the boy he fell in love with in life. Little do they know Angel is that boy.

33. Double or Nothing by HoneycombSweetness

Husk died during the battle against the exorcists and went back to the past where he was still an Overlord.

34. Call me when you want, call me when you need by Spades (bumblingbees)

Husk won a night with Angel instead of his soul and continues buying his service for months. He eventually fell in love with Angel but the latter wasn't convinced an Overlord could ever love a wh*re.

35. Lucky Bastard by @poppyfieldart

Angel flirted with the sweet bartender at Lucky Bastard without knowing he was the Casino Overlord. Husk found Angel more beautiful than the paintings on the ceiling of his casino's bathroom.

36. King of Spades by kurenohikari

The story focuses on Husk's rise to power. He eventually accepted Arackniss' request for his aid in saving Angle in exchange for his soul and loyalty.

37. Rock Bottom Overlord by @cloudwatcher-1

Husk fell to rock bottom, losing all of his casino and was left with nothing but a dive bar. After winning Angel's soul, he was ready to make it up the top again.

38. Tail feathers, wings and webs by Glitchy_Micro99

Angel caught Husk's eyes at a club and he had to have this spider.

39. Heartstrings and Broken Wings by AngelDust88, Mercury_Rises

The list is to be updated.

Husk's burst of jealousy resulted in dire consequence.

40. Too Sweet For Me by ItsMaryK

Husk freed Angel's soul because he didn't know what to do with it. Now he doubted whether it was a wise decision.

[maplleaf]

Clear Skies

(Neuvilette x gn!reader)

A series of unfortunate events that ended happily

The entire day, clouds above Fontaine are as dark as the abyss. Every second, it threatens to rain, but no waterdrops would fall. The water level is always on everyone's mind, if it keeps raining then the water would soon engulf the world.

Even after all those risks; Neuvilette couldn't help himself.

Just this morning, his first trial for the day imprisoned an innocent person, caused by the defendant's lack of evidence. The Oratrice didn't spare any mercy, seeing the defendant as a guilty party. Of course, the audience clapped as they spouted insults at the defendant.

Neuvilette held in the sadness he felt, since he had to deal with another trial after.

The sheer guilt he felt crept up his spine the whole day. Eating him alive when he tried to get some work done. It's something he couldn't do much other than investigate, but he felt an undescribable uncomfortableness in his heart. All of that, with an added weight of his past trials; past sins; past atrocities.

When his worm was finally over, he was comforted at the reminder of a picnic date you two have been planning for weeks. His busy schedule made it close to impossible to have any in-the-moment dates, usually disturbed by a sudden trial that Furina held or the abundance of paperwork.

You could see the stars in his eyes as you two talked on the waterbus, an excited tone and a happier smile making it a wonderful moment. Neuvilette was happy! Seeing you and going on a date, what could be better?

.... only for hilichurls to wreck your picnic date location.

In the end, he held onto the basket filled with treats you both prepared beforehand. In the aftermath of the fight, it caused some of your food to be thrown into the ground, some of the equipment broken, and the spot now ruined.

You can already see the disappointment on his face as you both walk down the hill. The sky darkened with each steps, and any attempts in making him cheer up didn't work.

The mood soured as you felt raindrops hitting your skin. In a frantic moment, you looked for an umbrella that the two of you packed. The water kept dampening your clothes until you finally found it. Though when you do, realization hits

...you brought the wrong umbrella, this one can only fit one person. Neuvilette looks at you and the umbrella, already connecting your concerned face and the object in your hand.

Neuvilette felt guilty for causing the rain, and for the added stress for you. Even so, the guilt worsened the rain.

...that is until he felt you giving him the open umbrella. Confused, he took it anyway. Then a pair of strong hands under his thigh, lifting him up to the air and carrying him down the hill as if it's the easiest thing. His long legs were still wet from the rain, but his body and head were protected.

'??????????'

He felt so loved, protected, all the warmth feeling you can imagine hitting him at once. The grasp on the basket he's holding tightened as he could feel his face getting warm. A part of him wanted to struggle since he thought that he would be too heavy and you would accidentally hurt yourself carrying him. Though, when Neuvilette sees you looking fine, he can't bring himself to say it.

"Sorry, I'll put you down when we get to a safe spot." No, don't put him down. He felt like an otter being ecstatic after it was freed from a cage, given a shell to play with.

Slowly, light began to shine through the dark clouds. You looked up the sky, and somehow, the rain had stopped. Fontaine's weather really is strange these days...

Seeing as there's no more need of an umbrella, you stopped walking as you wanted to let Neuvilette back on the ground. But you didn't; as you saw his pretty face, all red and flustered.

Safe to say, there were a lot of gossip regarding whether or not they just saw Monsieur Neuvilette being held in his lover's arms like a princess.

[harlowhockeystick]

9 and 18 with coach!sid please <3

"without ever touching him, how can i be guilty as sin?" & "i can tell when someone wants me" | poetic prompts | warnings: smut (18+ MDNI, i can redo if you don't want smut with these prompts!)

takes place after this fic.

"girl, quit eye fucking and leave some room for the rest of us. i can tell your fantasizing, but i don't blame you."

"i'm not touching him, so how can i be guilty of anything?" y/n co-workers words snap her out of her daze as she teases back. it was the beginning of an emergency staff meeting, the meaning was unknown and it was causing quite the buzz around the gymnasium. teachers, admin, and athletic staff alike were sitting together asking each other what they'd heard, known, or if they were getting fired. there was a heavy level of anxiety sitting in the room amongst them.

"sorry," y/n mumbled and sitting up straight. her friend chuckled beside her. but she couldn't help but stare, it had been a week since their dinner together, and it was all she could think about. she'd had trouble teaching, would zone out when talking to carter, their scandalous encounter was taking over her life.

"what do you think they're gonna talk about?" the other teacher asked sitting next to her, sipping coffee out of her tumbler and scrolling through emails looking for clues. "i think they're gonna talk about staff relationships."

her words made y/n's stomach drop. did it get out? did someone see her car at his house? did carter say something? did carter find out? it's amazing how many questions can run through the brain in just two seconds.

"i heard that the boys tennis coach, thomas, is having an affair with the girls tennis coach. i think one of the players caught them in the athletic offices but they did something to keep the kid quiet." y/n feels her nerves calm down, but not all that much. her eyes met with sidney's and she felt like he was trying to silently tell her something but she couldn't pick up on it. they weren't that connected.

yet.

moments later the superintendent gets on the mic and announces to faculty that in fact, both the girls and boys tennis coach were let go due to their actions. the boys coach resigned, and the girls coach was fired due to threatening the school district since she didn't do anything wrong and she was a single woman.

she felt a ball coil up inside her stomach as the staff were reminded of the policy: relationships among staff must be brought before the board if they occur within the school year. it was a district policy, to keep drama out of the way, and to keep relationships private to the parties benefit. at least, that was the way it was explained.

-

that meeting was bullshit. sent 10:45 am

y/n's phone pings signaling a text from sidney. she reads it as her students are taking their test. she feels butterflies and anxiety at the same time. her leg bouncing underneath her desk as she plans a reply.

...but what did he mean? was he against the rule, meaning he wanted a relationship? or was it just a waste of time? yes, it was a waste of time.

i know, it could have just been an email. sent 10:48

he never responds, but she gets too busy with other class periods. she gets lost back in time once more, fantasizing about that night. during lunch break spent in her darkened classroom, a bowl of warmed up soup in front of her as she grades papers until the next class comes through.

but she gets lost, in the deep trance of the memory of him. if she thinks really hard she can still feel his tongue sliding against her slick core, she can feel herself coming undone again at the force of his skilled and talented body.

she can feel his calloused but soft hands sliding down her body, grasping at her breasts while he sucks all of the sweet juice that flows out of her. she remembers her back arching off his wooden dinner table while he lapped at her for at least ten minutes straight, before he slid his thick cock inside of her for another ten.

she's taken out of her daydream by the sound of the school bell. she has three minutes to get herself back in order to teach again. she considers assigning today a reading and catch up day...so she can continue to reminisce.

dinner at my place? sent 1:23 pm

hell yes sent 1:24 pm

-

"you're bad at hiding your feelings, y/n." sidney stated, flipping over the steak on the grill and setting his wine glass down on the granite countertop. y/n sat on the barstool across from him, drinking a cocktail she made herself.

"what's that supposed to mean?" she took a bigger swig of the alcohol this time, holding eye contact with him as he leaned onto the countertop with his hands, making himself appear bigger in front of her. it worked.

"i can tell when someone wants me. half the women in that school want me, but you're the only one who went for it." she feels like a crook who was caught. "i know you act like last week didn't happen, but it's all i've been thinking about." now he's standing just inches from her on his back patio, the smell of grilled steak and vegetables filling her brain and the firm but agonizing touch making her go weak.

"it's all i can think about too." his thumb glides across her cheek, his whiskey colored eyes staring into her soul, what it feels like for hours. he bites his lip and she thinks she's gonna pass out.

"tell me what you thought about, maybe we'll reenact it after dinner. can't have you eating cold steak, can i?"

[skele-ghost]

Baby, it’s Hot Outside: Part 1

I wrote this like 8 months ago as a smut fic…and never got to the smut part. Rest assured, there will be smut eventually.

MDNI, 18+, Warnings: Omegaverse AU, being sick, mentions of illicit drug use, people yelling?

See prologue for summary and masterlist

You’ve been with the 141 for about six months. A decent amount of time, plenty of missions—but you still feel like you’re the outsider, somehow.

It’s because they’re a pack, the five of them, and you’re the tag-along coworker, the specialist. You’re all good friends, sure, but they’re all mates. You don’t stand half a chance against a bond like that.

You keep your sorrows to yourself, though—your envy. They’re all happy together, and you’re happy for them, even if part of your heart aches for that kind of love and affection you’ve never known.

You’re a beta, we’re raised by betas, in a beta-dominant community. Your health class in school didn’t even cover the other dynamics, and even in college all of your irl friends had been betas.

You’re a loner, anyways. You’re most comfortable behind a computer screen, getting into files you shouldn’t, pulling the strings from the shadows.

That’s how you’d been recruited, anyways (don’t hack into the Pentagon drunk), Laswell taking an interest in your effortless talent and skill for computers and machinery.

After working on a few missions with the 141, you were given a formal invite with a nice pay upgrade that you didn’t want to turn down.

They guys are a little intimidating at times. Ghost is…Ghost. He, Price, and König all being alphas. König worried you at first—he’s something called an Apex Alpha, and while you’re not completely sure what that means, you know that the term comes from ‘apex predator’ and connected the dots from there.

But it turns out he’s just a big sweetheart. Yeah, he’s the team’s human battering ram, and yeah, he gets a little scary on the field; but none of them, not even König, had made you feel threatened or unsafe.

Maybe that’s why you stay even if you sometimes feel a little left out. You keep yourself occupied with your tasks: hacking, repairing, making little electronics. You’ve all fallen into a comfortable routine with each other, falling into your roles like good little soldiers.

Which is why you’re confused to all hell as to why they seem pissed at you. You keep going over and over it in your mind, each interaction picked over and analyzed, but you come up on a blank.

Ghost had outright shoulder-checked you this morning. You told him to watch it and he glared at you. He hadn’t glared at you since the early days when you were new.

It was worse with Soap. You were closest with him. He always comes in and checks on you since you have a pension for locking yourself away while working which causes you to forget to eat or sleep. Now he’s glaring at you, too.

It didn’t help that you’re all on a mission. Recon, roughing it in sleeping bags, camped out at an old abandoned cluster of cabins. You’re all monitoring a base down below the ridge of the mountain, intent to find intel on El Sin Nombre.

You decide to brush it all off. Maybe they’re just in sour moods? Maybe you really did do something wrong, but until either of them confronted you about it, there was no point in worrying about it.

So you kept busy monitoring the local radio frequencies in your cabin. It’s damn boring, though, and the summer heat of Mexico isn’t helping.

You’d die for an air conditioner right now. Well, you’d die to not be on this mission anymore, to be back on base and have more space away from your colleagues. And you’d die to not have this guilty, worried pit in your stomach. You always get it when something bad is going to happen, the dread getting worse and worse over time. It’s stressing you out, making you sweat even more. You probably stink.

It’s almost a relief when Gaz shows up, creaking the old screen door open, but he looks pissed at you, too, and you want to cry from sheer frustration.

“God, not you, too,” you groan, smoothing your sweaty hair away from your face.

“Captain wants to see you,” Gaz says, sounding angry, confusing her just as much.

“Seriously? This about Ghost and Soap? What did I do?”

Gaz scowls, “don’t play coy, Seraph, he’s not going to like that.”

“What are you—“ you sigh, “you know what? Fine. Maybe he’ll explain why you’re all so pissed at me.”

Being outside in the sunshine, even briefly, makes you feel worse and hotter. You wonder if maybe you’re getting heat exhaustion or something—you aren’t used to being in the field and you’re sure as hell not used to being in the summer heat for so long.

Shit, maybe you’re coming down with something. As you and Gaz march over to the Captain’s cabin, you notice that everything smells different. Off. It’s making you nauseous.

When you step into the cabin, you know you’re in for it. Captain Price is standing at his desk, glowering down at you. Soap is standing a little ways behind him, his arms crossed, and Ghost is sitting in the back corner like the spook he’s named after, arms crossed.

It takes a hell of a lot of restraint not to curse under your breath, but you manage.

“Take a seat, Private,” the captain gestures at the chair in front of the desk and you have no room to argue.

You hate when they call you that—Private. It’s not even your rank. Technically you have none, you’re a specialist, and you never enlisted. You were a CIA Special Agent before all of this. Why they picked ‘private’ out for you, you have no idea, but you do feel like it undermines your hard work. You’re not some E-1, after all.

Everyone’s eyes on you makes you want to squirm, but you hold fast. It smells overwhelmingly like several different things: cigars, whiskey, cinnamon, wood smoke, the wild flowers that are outside.

Your guts keep screaming that something is wrong, wrong, wrong.

“You’ve put this mission in jeopardy, Seraph. I have half a mind to relieve you of duty and send you home,” Price says, his voice terse.

“Sir?” You ask, wanting him to elaborate, to tell you what you did wrong so that you can fix it.

“You set König off, he’s up at the deer blind refusing to come down,” he adds, voice rising in volume.

You frown, now noticing his missing figure. “König? What’s wrong with him,” you ask, concerned.

Your Captain lets out a disingenuous chuckle, which probably would’ve made your blood run cold if you weren’t so hot.

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” he says, practically growling. “We can tell. There’s no hiding it.”

“Wh—“

“Why did you do it?” Soap interrupts, fuming. “You’ve been part of the team for nearly two years, you don’t think you can trust us?”

The CIA training kicks in and you keep your mouth shut for the moment. This is starting to sound like a set up—like you’re being pinned for something you didn’t do. Or like they think you’re lying about something and are waiting for you to spill first.

But the other part of you, the part that knows your team, doesn’t think so. Maybe that part of you just doesn’t want to imagine them betraying you.

Price sighs, stepping away from the table, running his hands down his face. A sour smell begins to stack in the room and you crinkle your nose.

You hate confrontation. It was your biggest downfall, considering that you now work in special forces. You’d just barely passed your interrogation training after four attempts—yelling people upset you, which is why you never thought you’d be working alongside the military.

“I don’t…know what this is about,” you say, your voice small and meek.

“Yes, you do,” Price insists, crossing his arms, and before you can open your mouth the screen door opens again.

Gaz comes in holding your medicine, the ziplock bag stuffed with your prescribed medications and supplements.

“What the fuck,” you whisper as he puts it on the table, and then raise your voice, “that’s a HIPAA violation, you can’t just take those!”

Gaz’s hand on your shoulder is the only thing stopping you from taking your bag back. Price points at the bag, “which ones are the heat suppressants? I’m giving you a chance to come clean, (L/N).”

“Come cle—“ you stop yourself, frowning as you try to pull the new piece of evidence into the mix. “You…think I’m abusing prescription drugs?”

Soap huffs, “let me see, I know what they look like.”

Price hands him the bag, and everyone’s still just glaring at you while you try and think.

“What are you looking for, opiates? I’ve never been prescribed—“

“The heat suppressants, (L/N), where are they?!” Soap shouts, tossing the bag back onto the table. “Do you ‘ave any idea what that shite does to your body? They can kill you!”

You take in a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Your head is starting to pound with all this shouting. “What the fuck are you guys talking about? What are heat suppressants?”

“Oh, come on,” Ghost growls, rising from his chair in the corner and stalking over. “Quit acting daft and tell us the truth!”

Soap’s hand on his chest holds him back from coming any closer. You’re about ready to cry, now, swallowing down the lump in your throat. You have to stay calm, that’s what your training taught you.

“You can be discharged for this,” Price continues, still angry. “Hiding any medical history can get you booted, especially your designation!”

“My designation?” You furrow your brow, “I never lied about my designation, I’m a beta.”

“You fucking—“ But Soap holds Ghost back, walking him to sit back down in the chair in the corner. He’s livid. You’ve never seen any of them so mad.

“No, you’re not,” Price says, and you can tell how hard it is to keep himself calm and at an even tone of voice. “Heat suppressants might’ve tricked your body into thinking that, but that’s not the truth, is it, (Y/N)?”

This is beyond frustrating. Fuck being calm, you’re on your last nerve, “what the hell are heat suppressants, and why the fuck do you think I’m taking them? And for the love of god, will one of you motherfuckers tell me what I’m being accused of here?!”

Your voice echos in the old cabin for a minute. Somehow, that managed to shut them up and get them thinking. Less angry now, they look at you with confusion, apprehension.

“You really don’t know what’s going on?” Gaz asks next to you, and you glance up at him briefly.

“No! How many times do I have to tell you fuckers?” You wince at the ache in your skull that’s becoming worse, “and will someone pass me a Tylenol? Y’all are making my head hurt.”

You rest your face in your hands, trying to get your erratic breathing to calm down along with your skipping heart.

“(Y/N), when was your last heat?” Soap asks, his voice much, much more gentle.

You look up at him, squinting, “huh? I never had heat exhaustion before. My mama did, when I was little…”

“I think she’s serious,” Gaz says, as if you’re not right next to him.

“Shit,” someone says, and you can’t really tell who. You look up when you hear the sound of your medicine bag again, Soap fishing out two Tylenols and handing them to you along with a nearby water bottle.

“Thanks,” you mutter, quickly downing the pills and the rest of the water. Looking around the room at everyone again, you almost wish they were angry again. The anxious looks of worry on their faces is much worse, because they’re worried about you, and you don’t know what for.

Price sighs, sitting down at his desk chair. “You’ve never had a heat before?”

“That’s what I just said,” you quip, snippier than usual.

Price glances up at Soap, who nods, and then he looks back at you. “That’s not what this is, Seraph. You’re going into heat. You’re an omega.”

—

You scrunch your face up, frowning. “No, I’m a beta,” you insist, voice soft.

“No, (Y/N), you’re not.” Your captain pinches the bridge of his nose, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him at a total loss for words.

“You’re going inta heat, bonnie,” Soap says. “Even Gaz can smell you.”

You freeze, picking up the collar of your shirt and taking an experimental whiff of yourself. No, it just smells like sweat and laundry detergent.

“Am I the one that smells weird?” You ask, “because it does smell weird.”

“No, that’s us,” Soap explains. “Your nose is sharper now that you’re going into heat.”

“Mm-hmm,” you say, not believing a word of it. “But there’s no way I’m an omega. Both sides of my parents lineage goes back six generations—all betas. It’s literally impossible.”

“You never had the genetic testing done?” Soap asks. Testing can be done when you’re born to best guess what you’ll present as by looking at your dominant genes.

“There was no reason to, seeing as there’s a 0% chance of me being anything other than a beta,” you argue, wiping the sweat from your chin. “I mean, if I’m an omega, then Soap’s King of Scotland.”

“And it’s damn good to be king,” Soap says, crossing his arms.

Price shakes his head, “it’s not a debate, sweetheart, you are an omega. Is it possible you’re adopted?”

“What?! No!” Your head snaps up to glare at him, “my mom would’ve told me.”

“Have you seen your birth certificate?”

You roll your eyes, “have you seen yours?”

“I have mine,” he raises his eyebrows at you and you sigh.

“My ma lost the original copy—house fire,” you explain, but you know you’re not wrong. “Even if I was, that wouldn’t change anything, right? You present your designation in puberty, and I never presented, therefore…beta.”

You cross your arms.

“Then explain the smell,” Ghost says, speaking up from his quiet corner. You had almost forgotten about him.

“Obviously I’m sick,” you say, “maybe I ate something bad.”

“We all ate the same thing,” Ghost sighs, unsatisfied with your answer.

“Allergic reaction. I’ve never been to Mexico; we touch plants all the time.” That one’s more feasible, you think.

“That’s not—“

“Alright, enough,” Price says, stopping yours and Ghost’s banter. “Arguing about this isn’t going to change anything.”

“Right,” Soap agrees, walking over to you. “Whether you’re sick, or in heat, or having an allergic reaction, you need rest.”

“But who’s gonna monitor the radio?” You’re a little wobbly as Soap hauls you to your feet, but you shake it off.

“Gaz knows how to use the equipment,” Soap says and you begin walking out of the cabin and back to yours.

“Who’s gonna do Gaz’s job?”

“Me, probably.”

“Then who’s gonna do your job?”

“Quit it, (L/N).”

—

A/N: If you made it this far, thanks! I’ve recently been inspired by the fic authors I follow to post my own content. I write a lot, mostly for my own enjoyment, but I’ve never really shared anything except this and the Graves fic I posted forever ago. I think I’m gonna post fic like this that I’m comfortable with and see where it goes. I’m not taking requests and I can’t guarantee I’ll reply to messages or asks, but I will look at them lol