#considering i did the math and even starting this early i need to make a set every 3 days to stay on track

[yangjeongin]

ya girl is working so hard on shit y’all won’t even see until FEBRUARY

[thelostconsultant]

Instant dad - pilot

pairing: Oscar Piastri x ex!reader

summary: You have no choice but to tell Oscar he has a five years old son. Now he wants to be a part of his life to make things complicated...

note: A little warmup chapter. Oscar is in his early 30s, so yeah, there's a time jump.

[part 1]

“We would like to meet Oliver’s father. His biological father,” the principal clarified as he glanced over at your boyfriend. You’d been together for three years, he had been by your five-year-old’s side for over half his life, why wasn’t he enough?

But he insisted on meeting him, saying if he was dead and you could prove it, or if your boyfriend was your husband, they would move on with the enrollment, but you had confirmed that you weren’t married and the biological father was alive, so now they wanted to have a chat with him. He didn’t even care about the tiny little detail that said father had absolutely no idea he had a child. What a bunch of morons.

In the evening, while your son was reading a book about cars in his bed with your boyfriend, you sat by the dining table with your phone in hand, trying to figure out what to do. This fancy private school was perfect, they knew how to handle intelligent kids like Oliver, and you wanted the best for him. You wanted to make sure he didn’t get bored, that he would get the kind of intellectual challenge in school that he needed.

At the age of five, he could read on his own just fine, he even learned some Spanish from your boyfriend, and he was a quick study in general. It was infuriating how he was a mini version of his father, from his intelligence to his looks, everything reminded you of him. And if you met F1 fans together, someone surely went, “He looks so much like Piastri at his age!” Sadly, that wasn’t a coincidence, and the poor kid picked up on the whole you-look-like-him thing and chose him as his favorite driver.

Sometimes you consider telling him. Oliver, not Oscar. God, there was no way you would ever tell him the truth. He had his own, certainly busy life and he probably didn’t need a child in it. Yes, you saw the photos, he was good with kids, but meeting one for a few minutes wasn’t the same as having your own. Your son on the other hand could find out when he got old enough to understand why you had left and went no contact with his father. That was over ten years away, of course, so you had time to figure out what to do. Until then, you made sure the few photos of you and Oscar were stored somewhere safe in case he wanted to see them when the time came.

Now you were cornered, your hand forced by that damn principal. You had no idea if he was still using that old social media profile of his, but you had to try. So, you took a deep breath and started a call, deep down hoping he wouldn’t answer. You weren’t ready to talk to him, not yet, but you had no choice. And then his face showed up on your screen, the sight bringing back memories you’d been trying to forget for years.

“Hey. Are you sure it’s me you wanted to call?” he asked, although there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

Nodding, you let out a sigh. “Hi. Yeah, um… I don’t even know where to start.”

“At the beginning?”

Silence followed his words, your brain in overdrive as it tried to find the best way to start. But maybe being straightforward was the right answer. “I have a son. He’s five,” you added, hoping the meaningful look you were sending his way could be seen over the screen.

After a few seconds of heavy silence, you could see the wheels turning in his head as he did some math. “Wait, five? We… That was a bit over five years ago. Could he…?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed. “He’s your son.”

His face was emotionless for a while as he tried to process the news, but this was nothing new, he was the king of hiding emotions. But then, just as you thought he would end the call, he let out a sigh. “Why now? What do you want from me? Money?” he asked, although you could tell he was unsure about this whole situation.

The fact he assumed you wanted money only made you angry. “It’s not your money I need. Hell, I don’t even want you to meet him,” you snapped. “The thing is, there’s this private school I want to send him to, and they have this stupid rule to have both parents present at a parental interview. Since my boyfriend and I never got married, they want to see the biological father. That’s all I want. A meeting with the principal.”

Oscar put up a finger as he bit on his lower lip, his eyes focusing on something behind his phone’s camera. “Let me get this straight. After all these years, you say I have a son, but I’m not allowed to meet him?” he then asked, looking back at you.

“Yeah.”

“One meeting,” he then stated, his voice serious. “You let me meet him once and I’ll talk to that principal.”

“Oscar, come on.”

“That’s the deal I can offer.”

You didn’t have a choice, you knew that. If he didn’t do it for Oliver, he would have to go to another school. Letting out a sigh of defeat, you nodded. “But we don’t tell him that you’re his father. He watches F1, and since he looks a lot like you, he decided that you’re his favorite driver. That’s all you’re gonna be, nothing more.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I,” Oscar began hesitantly, and you could see as he sat down on his couch and looked up at the ceiling. “You just told me I had a son. What do you want from me, to forget it? I want to meet him. I want him to know who I am.”

“He’s five. If he finds out, he’ll want to see you again. He will want you to be a part of his life. I don’t want that.”

You could see he was uncertain about this. He probably understood that becoming his father would mean he would have to regularly visit the two of you, and even if you all kept it a secret, there was still the risk of the truth slipping out and making it into the headlines. “Is he anything like me?” he suddenly asked, his eyes softening as he watched you. 

A smile crept on your lips as you thought about this, because it was so painfully obvious to you that you couldn’t deny it, no matter how badly you wanted to do that. “He’s a highly intelligent little smartass, just like you. And his looks… A mini you, no doubt.”

Oscar nodded. “Then I want to be a part of his life. Let me spend time with him,” he asked, seeming relaxed. 

“Two hours.”

“No, I’ll stay for a week, and I want to see him every day,” he was quick to clarify. “I can look out for him while you’re at work.”

Whatever happened to the idea of meeting Oliver once? That’s not what you had just discussed, and now he was changing his demands? “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” was all you said in the end.

“You said it yourself, I’m his favorite driver,” he pointed out with a smug smile. “We’ll be fine.”

You were doing this only because of the school. You remembered what Oscar could be like; if he made up his mind about something, he definitely wasn’t about to let his plan go. Now he wanted a week with his son, and you knew that was the only way he would do what you needed from him. “All right. Can I send you the school’s number so you can make an appointment? I told them you travel a lot, so they’ll need to be flexible.”

“Sure, I’ll call them as soon as I can.” You thanked him, and were just about to say goodbye when he spoke up again. “Wait, can you send me a photo or a video?”

“Yeah, I have a few hundred of those,” you replied with a smile.

Oscar remained silent, but he let out a sigh and you knew something was on his mind, something he wanted to tell you. “I still have a hard time believing it, you know.”

“You seemed pretty confident when it came to getting to know him.”

“I wanted to use my chance to corner you,” he admitted. “But this? That I have a son? Hard to believe.”

“Well, he’s yours. You’ll understand it when you meet him,” you told him kindly. 

After you said goodbye, you went up to check on Oliver and your boyfriend, but by the time you got there, they were sleeping soundly with the open book resting on your son’s chest. With a smile, you took the book and leaned down to give both of them a soft kiss. You couldn’t help but wonder how your little family’s dynamics would change with Oscar’s presence. 

Well, it wasn’t really your son you were worried about, the main issue was your boyfriend. Oscar was a famous F1 driver, someone your son idolized, of course he felt threatened. You told him it would be okay, that you didn’t have feelings for him anymore, but he didn’t seem convinced. Maybe if they met and he saw you were indifferent, he would finally trust you a lot more. One can hope, right?

[avalordream]

Prompt: Imagine you get isekaied in Our Life. Only thing is that you wake up as a child and remember everything. You can only save at this point but you can still access the save and load menu and see your previous runs.

Meanwhile your precious neighbor is slowly becoming self aware, getting deja vu with every passing second- as if this has all happened before...

A/N: A few days after I posted this- a few other thoughts came to mind- SO HERE IS MY ATTEMPT AT VOCALIZING THEM

You’re keenly aware of how small and tiny you are the moment you wake up. 

For the first few days, you started to acclimate to…the family home. 

It wasn’t YOUR family though. It never was. It was MC’s. Not your’s.

You could project all you wanted onto MC but it was never your family or your life to experience. It was theirs.

Even so, you quickly found yourself missing the life you were used to. More specifically:

The cuisine.

It was hard not to draw suspicion to the fact that you were craving different food genres aside from Mom’s Pamela’s mac and cheese and cheeseburgers. 

Ma’s Noelani’s Hawaiian food helped quite a bit to hold you over as you started to ponder over how to approach it.

Kind of hard to bring it up to your MC’s parents that you wanted Asian/Middle eastern/Indian/Pakistani/Mexican/etc food when there was none of that for miles around

For the time being, you had to quietly hint and nudge their thoughts into that direction but not enough to make them suspicious. Noelani obviously had her suspicions about Cove getting into the house from Step 2-3 but never brought it up once. From what you could tell, she was scary observant

Another issue was how clumsy your new body was.

Your mind might be able to remember how to do everyday tasks like writing and such but this tiny body didn’t have the muscle memory to match it

Much to Liz’s dismay, you spent quite a bit of your time forcing your hands and legs to train to do things your adult body could do in a snap

Time wise- technology was a huge sucker punch. It made you feel bad for taking your own devices for granted. 

That being said, self learning everything was going to be hard without a phone or computer on hand, especially knowing that you’d have to go through the cursed education system all over again- but most likely much harder

There had to be a reason older folk complained about it, right?...

Your MC’s birthday was the same as your own, just that the birth year is 1997. That being said, the current year was 2006… Funny. You were only two in 2006…

…

Back to self learning, you tried to practice what you considered basic math long after everyone had fallen asleep

Usually, your day was filled with entertaining Shiloh and Liz, playing in the park or going along with whatever Liz said. Judging by the giant for sale sign across the street and the date, you figured out that you got isekaied roughly at least a month or two before Cove and Mr. Holden would move in. 

Who knew how that would go now that you weren’t subjected to just three choices?

Even after playing around, your body was exhausted and your baby mind was just as pooped out.

The first few days you would wake up early as children do and tried doing your math and remembering as much as you could at that time

Yeah, Liz nearly gave you a heart attack after she barged in and you had to play it off as you scribbling absolute nonsense cause you were bored

After that near collision, you changed your prep time to being at night. Sure, you woke up to Liz shaking you and not getting enough sleep in the morning, but you needed to refresh your memory the best you could

You couldn’t do it every night though and did your best to keep some sort of schedule so you wouldn’t forget - and worry your MC’s moms

They noticed the first few times of how sleepy you’d be when you’d wake up later than usual - granted if Liz didn’t wake you up - and a few nights after, you nearly got caught right in the middle of your review.

Pam was more sneaky than Noelani, so you should’ve seen this coming- but even so, you had everything spread out on your rug when you just barely heard her footsteps come to your MC’s door

You had enough time to shove everything underneath your bed - your room was messy enough but better safe than sorry - and quickly dive under the covers before you heard your door open with the softest of clicks

She was around for a good while before you heard the door close again but you didn’t relax until you were sure her footsteps went back to the master bedroom

After that, you were much more careful about how long you spent studying and when. You haven’t been caught since.

Occasionally, you’d have to sneak in your MC’s parent’s room to grab any books that you needed. Good thing Noelani was a book nerd.

You did have to be careful about your self learning- you didn’t want them getting any suspicions that their kid was suddenly…different out of nowhere.

You had no idea what MC was like as a kid before the events of Our Life so you tried your best to piece together what you could 

Speaking of, there were a bunch of things you quickly realized about Our Life, one of which is that game didn’t go over nearly everything that MC went through, let alone before Cove came or others that it only touched on briefly

For example, the tourists that came and went every year happened to be close friends of Pamela’s from her time in university, hence why they were so friendly to you and Liz in particular. 

It was also why they knew how to… handle your ever changing moods. At least-

That’s what it looked like to them.

To you- it was because you had to battle MC’s initial responses to these scenarios.

Go figure, this body still had its fair share of emotions inside of it, leaving you to figure out if this sharp pang of fear or worry was your own or not.

It left you second guessing everything you did, especially when you’d be up at night, studying and practicing your writing

It seriously irked you, knowing your writing was sloppy even though you knew this body couldn’t help it. It didn’t make seeing your scrappy writing less frustrating though

Despite how much you tried to hide how YOU felt, not MC, Noelani still picked up on the small shifts in your behavior. 

One of these being the irritation you harbored for your writing. 

Speaking of emotions, you found your body easily overwhelmed by any stronger ones- your own irritation making you cry- an alien feeling and one that took even you by surprise.

Worse part? The first time happened was in front of Noelani when she tried to help you practice your penmanship

Naturally, she tried to comfort you MC by trying to console you, saying it’d be better with practice and wiping away your tears but no matter how YOU tried, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing

It wasn’t until much later that you realized that MC’s tiny self had their own limits and by pushing those adult feelings and expectations that YOU had onto it sent it into a messy overdrive.

After that, you had learned to slow down- the world wasn’t ending…even if it felt like it.

…

The nail in the coffin for you that made YOU cry. Not MC’s body: Your dreams started to resemble parts of your life. 

You’d dream that you were back at your desk job or filling out mundane paperwork but no matter how boring it’d be, it was YOUR life.

The one YOU were used to and familiar with

You’d always feel so relieved to be back where you were supposed to, whether you were happy with that life or not

It was that feeling of having all your choices in your hand and being in control of where you wanted to go, if that made sense.

Nobody made those choices for you except well…you.

Only to have that feeling of familiarity ripped away once you registered Liz waking you up to play while “Ma and Mom snooze the day away!”

…

You just want to go home…

To YOUR home…

-> Part 1.5 <- ⊹ ‧₊˚ Isekai Self Aware Taglist: @lilqi @annoying-mary ˚₊‧ ⊹

[samkerrworshipper]

togetherness | pt.2

part 1. | part 2. | part 3. | part 4. | part 5 |

longawaited and has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now cause i wasn’t quite sure if i liked the direction it’s gone in… but highliting different issues n stuff so i hope y’all enjoy! again i’ve edited this on my phone whilst reading from my kindle lol so not going to lie i’m aware that the editing could be shocking… there’s a few more parts sitting in my drafts so lmk if y’all want more

warnings: child exploitation, themes of sexual assault of minors, just general hurt with protective n supportive tillies

“Now that we’ve settled that, is there anything, anything at all that you’d like to tell me that I could help you with?”

I gulped, there were about six things I could think of just off the top of my head. I was tentative though. I could feel tears starting to form in the back of my eyes as I tried to make the decision in my head.

“No judgement?”

Sam’s immediate nod in response was comforting and apparently enough to get me talking.

“It’s going to sound stupid and I don’t even know what you could do about it considering that I’m probably somewhere in the wrong with it as well.”

Sam looked like a mixture of intrigued and perplexed.

“Y/n, even if I can’t do anything about it, you look like you just need to get it off your chest, I can be that for you as well, just tell me what’s been bothering you so much.”

I sniffled and nodded at Sam, this situation was so abnormally vulnerable for me.

“You know that I was rough around the edges when I got here, I know you haven’t heard the whole story, to put it simply I went through a rough patch when I was 14 and 15, before I got here. I’d just had spine surgery, I thought that I was never going to walk again, let alone play football. I turned to a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, anything. I ran away when I was 14, I don’t remember much of it, just that when I returned home my parents had had enough and they sent me off to the AIS for Tony to train me. Anyways, I’m rambling. Somewhere along the road I sent some explicit videos, photos and texts to my ex boyfriend, graphic ones, there’s a lot of them. He’s been posting them on reddit and twitter and they haven’t gotten any attention yet but with all the media coverage and bad press I’ve had recently I’m worried they are going to be brought up and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Sam’s expression was one thing, completely deflated and shocked. She was typing furiously into her phone whilst she was listening to my story. It took a few minutes of silence for her to reply to me.

“First off I want to start off with telling you how grateful I am for you sharing that information with me, it can’t have been easy and you are incredibly brave for telling me. I’ve got some follow up questions that I need to ask, you don’t have to answer them, I’d just appreciate it if you could try your best, okay?”

I nodded quickly in reply to Sam.

“Okay. How old were you when you sent these videos and how old was your boyfriend at the time?”

“I was 14 or 15, he was in his mid twenties.”

“So that puts him in his late 20s or early 30s right now, if my maths is correct. Did you take these photos and videos or did someone else?”

“I took most of them but he took some.”

Sam nodded at me again.

“Okay based on that question I can tell you that this ex boyfriend of yours is legally in possession of child pornography, that’s an indictable crime. If you want this to well and truly stop then we can go up that path. I want us to talk about this with Tony, it’s ultimately your decision but I think it would be very sensible to take this up with him at the very least. Y/n, you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I need to stress to you how important it is that you understand that. No one is going to blame this on you, because it isn’t your fault, you are a victim of a crime. That isn’t something light. I promise you that I have your best interests in concern when I’m telling you this. I have to ask, have you talked to anyone else about this? Your family? A therapist? A friend? Leah?”

Leah Williamson, my arsenal team captain and my best friend/mom/girlfriend. I shook my head at Sam, I’d wanted to tell Leah, she was the only person I probably trusted enough to tell but I hadn’t seen her in weeks.

“Do you want to talk to someone about it?”

“I was going to talk to Lee about it, eventually. Just with her ACL and us being in different places it didn’t make much sense, plus this stuff is so fucking stupid I didn’t want to bother anyone with it, I’m sorry for bothering you with it, Ellie was right I’m being fucking selfish.”

Sam’s face was unreadable, it was clear she was pretty deep in thought. She sat across from me for a few minutes, in thought, before she stood up and walked around the table, sitting herself down beside me.

“Can I give you a hug?”

I nodded and relaxed a little bit as I felt Sam’s arm snake its way across my shoulders, inevitably bringing me closer to her and into her chest.

“Williamson would want you to tell her, she’ll probably be mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You are not being a bother to anyone, you have human emotions and this situation you are in is a hard one. You aren't being selfish, you are asking for help, which is a very human thing and you very clearly need it right now, there is nothing wrong with that. Now, how about I call Williamson for you, I’ll see you if you can get down here? I’m going to call Tony down here, I’ll brief him and he’ll help, okay?”

“I don’t want to tell Tony, he’s going to be mad and he’ll probably tell me this kind of behaviour isn’t wanted on his team and then I’ll get sent home.”

I could feel the material of Sam’s jumper that she must have thrown on after training soaking up my tears, that was embarrassing.

“I know you don’t want to, and I can promise you that Tony is going to be nothing but supportive, you’ve done nothing wrong. There is nothing illegal about what you did, now or then. Tony is not going to send you home, I promise. Now, do I need to call Williamson or can you do it?”

Realistically I probably could have, but I really didn’t want to.

“Can you?”

Sam nodded at me immediately, which comforted me a little bit.

“I wouldn’t have offered it if I couldn’t. She should be in Sydney right now to watch the Lionesses play tomorrow night, yeah? I’ll talk to her and we’ll see what we can work out for you. I don’t have her number though, so can you call her on your phone and I’ll talk to her.”

I nodded quickly, shakingly pulling my phone out of my pocket and pushing it out onto the table. I very quickly pulled Leah's contact, I’d called her last night so it wasn’t hard to find. She was the only person in the world that I could talk to when I was at my lowest, the only person who actually cared about me. So last night, whilst I was mid panic attack, on Ellie's and I’s ensuite floor I called her and she’d talked me through it. I should have told her then, it probably would have saved me this whole interaction with Sam, but I hadn’t wanted to worry her anymore, so I blamed it on pressure of being selected to start this week and she’d accepted my answer.

We’d been texting most of the morning, her asking me if I’d gotten sleep and if I was feeling alright, I’d answered shortly with an array of 'yes', because I didn’t want to worry her anymore. I passed the phone over to Sam once I found her phone number and she clicked the call button before pressing the phone up to her ear and standing up from her seat, starting to pace between the seats.

“Hey Leah, this is Sam, Sam Kerr, from the Matildas. Look, I’m here at our Sydney training facility with Y/n, we’ve just had a pretty serious conversation with her about some problems that she’s had recently and I was wondering if you were around so you could be here for her.”

Sam pulled out her own phone again as I assumed she listened to Leah’s response. It amazed me as to how fast her fingers danced across her own screen, it was a different kind of multi tasking.

“Yup, Mmm. Alright, I’ll send you the address, it’s not far from you guys hotel from recollection. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being able to do this for her, I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it then.”

I gulped as Sam said her farewells and then hung up the phone before walking back over to me.

“She’s coming down, should be here in fifteen or so. She sounded worried about you, mentioned something about you having a panic attack to her on the phone last night and that she was concerned about you. I’ve texted Tony, he’s finishing up with Ellie and then he’s going to be down here. I’m going to get Steph to meet Leah downstairs when she gets here and she’ll bring her up, Y/n, we’re all here to support you however you need, alright?”

Me and Sam stayed silent in the room until about ten minutes later there was a distinct knock against the door.

“Sam, it’s me, unlock the door.”

Steph’s voice was pretty distinct, even through the heavy door. Sam stood up almost immediately, walking to the door and unlocking it before a grumpy looking Steph and a flustered version of Leah made their way through the doorway before Sam had the opportunity to relock it. Leah’s eyes went straight to my own, her whole facial expression was very controlled, she could command an entire room with that face, I knew from experience.

“Are you okay?”

Her words were directed at me, and only me. I pressed my tongue against my front teeth and lip, trying to decide how to answer the question.

“There’s some stuff that’s been happening that I haven’t told you, I’m not in trouble, or at least that’s what Sam is telling me. It’s some stuff from my past, when I was a kid. Explicit images and photos, on the internet, from when I was a kid. They popped up a few weeks ago, starting when I was in Spain with you before we came here. I didn’t bring it up because I thought I was at fault for it as much as the person who has possession of them. Sam told me that it isn’t, that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry, I know it was fucking stupid and I should have told you about it or not done it, I don’t even remember taking any of the photos or videos, it just happened and now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want it getting out to the public and I just, I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Leah’s face relaxed a little bit as I progressively talked and rambled. Once I was done she walked over to my spot, seated on one of the chairs and wrapped her arms around me.

“Hey, it’s alright, we’re going to sort this out. She’s right, you didn’t do anything wrong and you should have told me earlier but I am so grateful that you are telling me now, yeah? You are so brave kiddo, that’s child exploitation and whoever has possession of those materials is the one who’s in the wrong, okay?”

I nodded into Leah, Steph and Sam were whispering between each other behind us.

“You have to take legal action though.”

Those words made me feel like I’d been stabbed and my guts had been ripped out of my body cavity.

Leah let go of me very gently and pursed her lips.

“Because this isn’t going to go away if you don’t, and I know that you are strong but you aren’t going to be able to live if you know that this person who has possession of these materials is still out there. You’ve been checked out for weeks now, since before Mallorca. You aren’t going to check back into your life until this goes, I know it. I need you checked in, I need you to be my girl, not the skeleton of your own body that you inhabit as a coping mechanism when something bad happens.”

I think Leah would have said more if it wasn’t for the incessant knocking against the door that came again. Sam was the one who went to the door again, letting Tony in. He looked flustered as well, and a little bit worried. I’d known the man since I was 15, he’d seen me in some pretty interesting situations. Sam intercepted him before he could say anything, pulling him aside and giving him what I assumed to be the rundown of the last hour.

“I don’t think I can handle this getting out, it will, if I take legal action this is going to get out and then I’m going to be Y/n Y/l/n, the Matilda’s exploitative rookie and I’ll never be back here. My career will be over, Jonas won’t want me back, everything I've worked for will be done.”

Leah took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around me and working her hands through my scalp and hair.

“If you take legal action you will be supported, I’ll make sure of it. We are a part of a community of women that uplift us for everything you do, this won’t be any different. There will be some who judge, there is always going to be someone there to judge you. Y/n, you need to do this for your sanity, I won’t lose you to your mental health again, not like last year. Kerr has done the right thing here, bringing this up, it shows me that she cares a lot more about you then you think, it also shows me that she knows what’s best for this team and you. She wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t think this was the best course of action.”

I nodded into Leah, trying to convince myself that her words were correct. Eventually, after Sam had given Tony the full rundown he sat down across from me, exactly where Sam had been beforehand. Sam and Steph both stood behind me and Leah, Sam’s arms resting gently on my shoulders, it was grounding.

“Sam’s told me about what’s happening. First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, it’s not something that anyone should have to deal with, ever. Second of all I want to let you know that this team, this whole nation is in support of you. Look, it’s too late for me to take any action now. I’m going to get the police to come down tomorrow morning, you aren’t in trouble. I just think that they are going to have a better understanding of this situation than any of us could. They’ll come down, we’ll have a talk about all of this, they’ll ask the questions they need to. We don’t need to make any decisions now, we’ll talk to them, Sam and I will be there to advocate for you. After that we can make decisions about taking legal action and whatnot. Otherwise I just wanted to tell you genuinely, from the bottom of my heart how much we all care about you and value you here, we are all going to be here for whatever you need in the future, you are a valued part of this team and family and we are all here to look out for your needs, okay?”

I gulped, I could feel fresh tears springing to my eyes again. I was petrified of the police, to say the least, but Tony’s voice was so reassuring. He was the father that I’d never had and when I was 15 and he’d met me I’d been in a bad place, I’d needed him to be that figure in my life and he had been. He gave me a routine, gave me something to wake up for every morning. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Tony. He’d given me a chance when no one else had been prepared to and for that I would always be in debt to him for.

“Okay, I’ll get in contact with the police, we’ll get a constable down tomorrow morning and we can have an open conversation with them about it, you are not in trouble, nothing is going to happen that will end in consequences for you. I think though that you need to head back to the hotel and get some proper sleep, your body needs it. So head back, don’t worry about any of this, because I’m going to sort it out and we’ll talk about it in the morning with a clean slate and mindset, alright?”

I nodded at Tony, I didn’t really have much to say.

“Thank you Coach.”

He nodded at me, before standing up and walking around to the other side of the octoval table and giving me a pat on the back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t worry about this anymore, it’s going to be okay. Get back to the hotel, we’ve got an early wakeup tomorrow.”

I nodded at Coach, watching as he left the room just as quickly as he’d entered it.

“I’ve talked to Steph, her and I are rooming together so we’ll switch, she’ll stay with Ellie and you can come and room in with me, I think we’ll keep it that way for the rest of the tournament.”

I looked over at Sam, nodding along with what she was saying. Leah reached her arms around me, a big bear hug.

“And I am here, I expect you to check in with me, at least twice a day. When you guys head off to Melbourne or Brisbane I’m not going to be able to be there, so I need you to stay in contact with me, okay? Anybody does so much as look at you wrong I want to be the first to know, okay?”

I nodded at Leah, half in fear, half in adoration. She was the only person in the world that I actually trusted in. Our bond had been forced, when I’d moved to London to play for Arsenal I’d been moved into the spare room in her apartment and in a very short amount of time we’d created a bond that extended beyond the realm of friendship. I loved her, she was the first person besides Tony to give me a chance and he was obligated to give me on, Leah had chosen to fight for me and to stick by my side even when it wasn’t easy, she was a good person, better than I was sure I’d ever be.

“We’ll drop you back to your hotel on our way home Williamson, it’s the least we could do considering you got here so quickly, can you just give us five minutes to grab our things from the locker room?”

Sam’s voice held no room for argument, she was insisting on giving Leah a ride home and Leah didn’t try to object.

“Please, call me Leah and if it’s no trouble I would really appreciate it. I can meet you guys down in the foyer in about five, I need to go to the loo, so whilst I’m doing that how about you guys go and get your stuff together?”

Sam, Steph and I all walked back down to the change rooms in a comfortable silence. It was when we actually made it back to the rooms that I realised I still had my boots on, the cleats that were spotless from not even getting any wear at training. The cleats that a few hours ago had seemed impossible to tie up. I made quick business of pulling them off of my feet, throwing them into my kit bag and pulling out the pair of Nike dunks that I’d worn in earlier when we’d all come down here for our match analysis. Sam and Steph both made quick work off slipping out of their training kits and changing into sweat pant duos that matched with me. After they’d gotten changed and refreshed we all grabbed our bags and whatever other things we had lying around before making our way down to the foyer.

Leah was waiting for us, tapping her foot violently against the marble floors. When she spotted the three of us out of the corner of her eye her stress ceased almost immediately. I’d learnt a lot about Leah in the amount of time I’d known her. One thing about England’s captain was that she was not as fearless as everyone credited her as being, she put on a brave face, a bloody good one, but she was just as human as everyone else and sometimes it showed, especially when she felt uncomfortable in a situation or she didn’t think she deserved to be where she was. I’d moved in with her initially just before she'd led the Lionesses to their victory at the euro’s, and at the time Leah had been a basket case to be nice. I think that was how we’d bonded, through our similar insecurities of not being good enough to fill the shoes that had been passed down to us.

“C’mon cap, let’s get going.”

Leah smiled at me and nodded. We’d been keeping our relationship under wraps for a few months now. Neither of us were insecure in our situation and we were happy to enjoy our private, happy and blessed life together. Plus we hadn’t really seen much of each other in the past month or so, being caught up with our obligations to our national teams. Leah was also very committed to her rehab and I couldn’t be there for every step of that so we’d spent some time apart. We’d both agreed when the new Arsenal season rolled around that we’d tell the team, but still keep it under wraps from the public for as long as we could. Neither of us were worried about the public finding out, I was out, had been since I was 14. Leah wasn’t officially but she’d also never dated a man and in the eyes of the female soccer world that pretty much means you're gay. It would come out when it did and we were prepared for that to happen.

We walked out to Steph’s car, piling all of our bags in the boot before Sam and Steph slid into the passenger and drivers seats whilst Leah and I both took seats in the backseat. Somewhere along in the drive her hand made its way to my own, resting gently on top of my knee cap. I interlocked our fingers and smiled up at her, this was the part of a secret relationship that I liked, getting moments just between the two of you that only the two of you understood. The sweet nothings. I felt my heart plummet a little bit as we arrived out the front of Leah’s hotel and I realised that I was going to have to say goodbye, potentially for a few more weeks. That was the suckish part of being a professional athlete messing around with another professional athlete, there wasn’t always a timeline on when you’d see each other next, sometimes it was just situational.

I made the call to walk Leah to the door of the hotel, when we got to the doors I gave her a hug, a big, long hug. She hugged me back, tightly. Leah was good at hugs. When we finally had to come apart I looked up at her, with my big green eyes and apparently she couldn’t resist because she reached down and honoured me with a peck. It was nothing more, a small gesture but to me it was everything.

“I love you okay, be safe, text me, call me. I am always here for you, don’t keep me in the dark on things that you think are going to burden me, they aren’t, call your therapist, please.”

I nodded at Leah, she was using her captain's voice with me that she knew I couldn’t refuse.

“When you get back to the hotel I expect you to eat some proper food, not of those bloody granola bars that you insist are nutritional, proper food. Hydrate, at least a litre of water. Sleep, you deserve to sleep, let yourself sleep. Call me in the morning and tell me how you are feeling, okay?”

I gulped and nodded at Leah, an action that I was becoming aware I might have done too much of tonight.

“Love you too, thank you for being here for me.”

“Anytime, I’m only ever one call away, now go home.”

I gave Leah one final look before walking back to the car, closing the door behind me only to be bombarded with googly eyes from the two co captains sitting in the front of the car.

“You and Williamson?”

Sam’s voice was the first one to break the sound barrier, it scared me a little bit.

“Yeah.”

I made it sound like it was a non fact, like every person on the planet knew that I was in the bed sheets of the Lionesses Captain.

“Fuck, I knew it, McCabe owes me fifty quid.”

Steph’s voice was steadier and surprised me a little bit.

“We all had bets, how long have you guys been together?”

“We’ve been dating for 6 or 8 months, fucking around with each other since I joined Arsenal so about a year or so.”

Steph’s eyebrows rose to the top of her forrid, obviously very surprised by my answer.

“You're trying to tell me that you and Lee have just casually been hiding a relationship behind closed doors for months.”

“I mean we’re roommates, it wasn’t that hard to hide, plus we just aren’t rabbits who need to fuck on every surface unlike Sam and fucking Kristie, I’m never going to be able to mentally burn the image of you two getting at it on the pool table after the olympics, that was fucking traumatic.”

Sam’s face had flushed, we constantly brought it up with her. After our bronze loss to the US in the olympics a lot of the team had gone out in celebration with the Americans, what I hadn’t expected to find that night when I’d walked into the room that I thought was the bathroom was Sam eating her secret girlfriend out on the table. It had messed with my brain permanently.

“Hey you're the one who’s always bringing it up, maybe you were secretly into it, secret fantasy between you and Williamson.”

I loudly gagged from my spot in the backseat, extremely displeased by Sam’s imaginative imagery.

“Nobody thinks that Sam, it’s just you and all of your lost brain cells.”

There was something so comfortable about the dynamic between Sam and Steph, something so sisterly and bonded. They were like family, they messed around with each other and pushed each other but they loved each other and the both of them knew that at the end of the day. They might not have been the closest on the team, they weren’t each other's best friends but they were family and that was all that mattered.

“Whatever you say Stephy.”

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - It’s Out There

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: a bit of ass grabbing💕, talk of ED, general angst (not proofread)

—————————————

The horror stories weren’t exactly true, but they also weren’t far off. College is what one makes of it. That I learned early on. I kept up with the work, I built a steady routine, I put forth my best effort. Things so far had been fine. I had enough time for my major and my life.

Taylor on the other hand.. she wanted to party. I loved her. I truly did, but sometimes her complaining stressed me out. We were roommates, and I always offered my best advice and a helping hand when she needed it. But she never put forth her own effort. Jack often heard about her when I needed time to complain.

Today though, I had gotten her to sit down with me and study. I promised breaks here and there, and even a late dinner. We’d both missed out on lunch for finals, neither of us were exactly hungry considering the stress. We were in need of food. But more importantly, we were in need of better help.

I managed well with our other classes we had together. I let her copy my notes and we discussed and reviewed, but when it came to math, we were both scattered.

So we decided to take a brief break.

I leaned back against the wall, sitting on my bed, while Taylor mirrored me from her own bed. I texted Jack, while she no doubt scrolled through social media.

I enjoyed the silence. Not interrupted or broken by anything but the quiet flow of air through the AC in the room. Occasionally Taylor would send me something on Instagram, and our silence shifted into both of us scrolling through our social media apps and sending each other things.

I sent her a video of a French bulldog, I received a post in return that I couldn’t quite make out from the small notification. So I opened it.

“Jack Hughes Finally Off The Market?”

It wasn’t anything more than one of those meme pages, but the photo of Jack and I kissing at his favorite cafe in the city- that was what caught me off guard. I felt my stomach turn, my entire being feeling like it fell through the floor.

It had been pitch black that night. Nobody had even been on that street when we came out. How did somebody get a photo?

“Tay,” I glanced at the likes. There were enough to make me nauseous. I decided to check the comments, hopeful that perhaps somebody would point out how it was a joke. I knew that was unlikely though.

“Where’d you find this?” Fear gripped my heart as I read through comments.

‘Can’t see her face :|’

‘Great content bud’

‘Fuck her’

‘Don’t worry guys, it’s me’

‘Hands couldn’t even fit around that ass’

‘I’ll bet she’s pretty’

A different degree of reactions all around. My gaze remained on some longer than others.

“Just on Instagram. Since you started dating Jack I just.. I don’t know, guess I started keeping up with the hockey stuff.”

Taylor looked up at me, and I looked up at her. I was pale, she looked careless.

“Hun.. I wouldn’t worry. It’s a meme page. Nobody takes their stuff seriously.”

Taylor had a point, but at the end of the day.. that was still a photo of me and Jack. Whether people believed it or not, to me, that was very clearly, me and Jack.

“Why don’t we skip the next break and get back to studying.. okay?”

I was reluctant to agree, but Taylor eventually pried my attention away from my phone. Or at least she thought she did.

The rest of our night was spent studying. We had gone out to grab something to eat from the nearest fast food place, and ate together watching the hockey team of my hometown city play. The Devils didn’t have a game scheduled for a few days, so I took it as an opportunity to check up on my other team of interest.

After the hockey game, we had both called it a night. With the lights out, and the only sound being the occasional thump of footsteps or somebody in a room around us, my mind wandered. It wandered to the point that I had grabbed my phone again to check for any news.

Nothing.

The internet still seemed oblivious.

I went back to the post to look at it. There were more comments and likes, but nobody had considered it a real possibility yet.

I spent hours awake, staring at the screen, turning it off only to give in and turn it back on, waiting for my entire world to crumble around me.

I fell asleep somewhere around four am.

When I woke up, I forced myself away from my phone to focus on my last final. I told Jack that I would visit him after it was completed and I was off for spring break. I had that to look forward to, but every time I thought of Jack, I thought of that post. So I pushed it to the back of my mind as I entered my professor’s classroom and set my phone by others on the front desk.

I’d attest to the fact that my mind wandered a few times, but I would also say I thought the exam went well. Taylor promised to meet me in the mess hall when we were both done.

I stepped out of the classroom and flipped my phone in my hand. With spring break beginning officially for me, I only had one other thing to stress about.

Opening my Instagram was like stepping into a whole new world. I followed the Devils, the NHL page, ESPN, and a few others. Mostly just for news on Jack when it came out. But this time, the news about Jack made me sick.

I slowed to a halt in the hallway, before my body went into autopilot.

The first post in front of me was the New Jersey Devil holding a bottle of champagne in a photo. The caption was a mess of words in my head. A congratulations.. with my account tagged.

I forced myself to lower my phone as I jogged through the halls and out the first exit I found.

When I got outside, my pace slowed, and I lifted my phone again.

I opened the Devils story first. Another congratulations post to Jack.. and me. My name. Next to Jack’s. Something the media team was no doubt doing to try and poke fun at the situation. It was all in good fun for them. I could understand, but at the same time it made me want to throw up. They hadn’t even spoken to Jack or me. They didn’t even ask if we wanted to remain private. Instead they simply confirmed everything. As the story played through, the next one for the NHL opened. It was a repost, with a message that said, ‘welcome to the NHL WAGS FAM.’ With my account tagged.

I could not imagine the page doing it for another player, but this was Jack Hughes. This was one of their most followed guys in the league. They’d cover every moment of his life if it meant more money and a bigger following.

ESPN had a more formal address on the topic, but it was still about Jack and I nonetheless.

I blacked out. I blacked out so hard that I barely even noticed I was in my dorm until I heard the door click shut behind me. Panic was the only thing I had really felt before. Until I looked at the posts. The posts, then the comments.

There were a select few who congratulated, but the majority? The huge crowds? They hated me. It made a sense of dread bubble up in my throat, until a quiet cry escaped. Girls insulted me in every photo posted, guys asked why Jack went after me, some even said I was nothing but a distraction. People made fun of me for being a secret, they tore me down for not setting my life aside to follow him and his hockey dreams.

How did they even know about my life so quickly? How did they know where I went to college?

I made a split second decision. I grabbed a duffel bag from my closet and began to throw clothing inside. I was certain that I had forgotten things along the way, but there was nothing a quick visit to the convenience store couldn’t fix. I put my laptop in the bag, as well as various chargers I hadn’t bothered to ravel up.

I was panicked, and the one person I wanted to see was an hour away. Taylor called me a few times while my phone laid on my bed, but I hadn’t called her back until I was out of my dorm room and headed for the car.

“Hey! We were supposed to meet up.” Taylor’s voice called through the phone. I sniffed quietly. I hadn’t begun crying yet, but my nose was running nonetheless.

“I have to go into New Jersey early.” I spoke through a shaky voice. I tossed my bag into the back seat of my car before climbing into the front. I was quick to turn the vehicle on, and Taylor’s voice cut out as my phone Bluetooth connected to the car.

“Is it bec- of that post?”

“Jack and I are out. All of the sports media has confirmed it. Tay, I don’t know what to do.” I backed out of my spot before I tore out of the parking lot.

“It’s gonna be okay. I’m sure Jack will have it handled.”

“Jack?” I asked. Incredulous. “I love Jack, but I highly doubt he’ll have any of this shit handled.” He’d never been through it before. We were both amateurs at this, and now we were sinking together. I needed him. I assumed he needed me.

“Okay well.. I’m sure everybody’s happy for you guys.. yeah?”

“No! No, they’re not! They keep commenting on how shitty I am! And in that post last night, everybody was all over my ass! My ass!” My loss and hopelessness caused me to get choked up.

I’d always had a rough relationship with food ever since I was a teenager. People told me I was too skinny or too big. People told me that being insecure because I was skinny didn’t count. They invalidated my feelings while at the same time telling me my ass wasn’t big enough, or my cup size was awfully small. Then others would come back and say my ass was too big or my boobs might be distracting.

Depending on the comments, some days I ate, others I did not.

When I met Jack, I was healthier than before, but I still struggled. He always reassured me. Told me I was beautiful. That he loved me, thought I was perfect, and that gaining or losing a couple pounds meant nothing as long as I was healthy.

He made me feel safe eating huge greasy burgers and shoveling cake into my mouth on a Friday movie night. Likewise, he validated my feelings when all I wanted was a chicken salad and maybe a piece of bread or two. He always said, ‘as long as you’re healthy.’ And every once in a while he made sure I wasn’t hungry either. Especially after I ate salads. After he’d seen me put away pretty nice sized meals, he always made sure I had enough to eat. And that I was comfort able enough to eat.

It was amazing how a few social media comments could tear down so many walls I’d built, but it was deeper than that to me. These were Jack’s fans. If they didn’t like me, then why should he? Had he been lying to me all this time?

“Your beautiful ass?” Taylor tried to make a joke. A tear finally fell down my cheek.

“What if Jack hates me?” My bottom lip quivered. “He hasn’t reached out.. what if he’s breaking up with me?” The mere thought made me want to pull over and turn around.

“What is he doing today?” Taylor asked expectantly. I had to think about it.

“Media stuff?” The thought brought a moment of relief to my lungs.

“Exactly. You’ve had days before where he doesn’t text until late in the evening and it’s never bothered you.” Taylor’s voice gave me the encouragement to continue on.

“I know this didn’t happen in time like you guys planned it, but it’s all going to be fine. The crazy fan girls will always be mean, but people are going to get over it.”

“Yeah.. but what if they hate me forever?”

“They might. But oh well, right?”

Taylor was right. But that still didn’t make me feel any better. I gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“When does Jack get home?”

“I think.. I don’t know? Maybe around three?” I breathed out a sigh.

“So you’ll be there before him?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you go see him at the arena?”

“And bother him? After all this?”

“If it’s a media day, you know he won’t be that busy. And it’s better than torturing yourself at his place for hours.”

She was right.

“I’ll have to think about it..”

“Don’t think too much.”

As if I hadn’t been overthinking everything that day already. Our conversation ended with mutual good lucks, and the familiar monotone beep of a dead line. I sighed, wiped the tears from my cheeks, and focused on the road ahead.

My hour in the car was spent flipping through radio stations, trying to find music that was loud enough to distract me or soft enough to calm me. Nothing worked. My jaw was clenched most if not the entire time. My face hurt. My cheeks hurt. My fingers felt stiff every time I pulled a hand from the wheel.

And entering Jersey didn’t help. It felt like a smack upside the head. A loud call back to my horrible reality. I felt like everybody outside the car was staring in. Everybody knew who I was. Everybody hated me. They were all looking at my body.

By the time I had pulled into Jack’s own apartment community, I felt like I was suffocating trying to choke back tears. I parked in the lot outside of his complex. I gave it five minutes. Then another five. Then another five.

I grabbed my phone and opened TikTok this time. I typed Jack’s name into the search and hit enter. The first video eased my mind. Somebody saying how beautiful I was.. how happy they were for Jack.

The next broke my heart. Comparing me to the first girl. To the hot girl. The skinny girl. The perfect girl. I’d seen videos here and there before of people saying how they thought Jack and his ex had been such a beautiful couple. People said they ‘missed’ her. Like they ‘knew’ her. I never let it cut too deep, because they didn’t know I existed.

Now it was blatant. Now they said things like that, because she was better than me.

I put my car in reverse.

Taylor was right. I’d torture myself if I didn’t see Jack.

Closing the distance between myself and the arena was like beating a new nail into my coffin with each mile. It only stressed me out more. But I hoped Jack would take it all off my shoulders. If he had time.

The thought that he’d be too busy also occurred to me, but even being in the same building as him, I decided, would be soothing.

I had pulled into the private parking area before climbing out of my car. My face was red, but I had since stopped the tears. My heart was set on Jack. Nothing else could distract me.

I walked through the double doors at the bottom, stepping right into one of the many entrances. I was quick to find the hall that led to the private facilities. I walked past maintenance closets, and equipment rooms, before my swift pace was brought to an abrupt halt by a body stepping out of the lounge.

I gasped. He grabbed me by the shoulders. When I looked up, my eyes caught Jesper. His gaze softened from surprise to sympathy. We stared at each other, both uncertain of what to say. He spoke first.

“Jack was worried when you didn’t text him that your final was over.” He spoke, as if having an ‘A-ha’ moment. He let me go. I reached to rub my eyes again, fearful that something was still there.

“He didn’t text me all day.” I countered.

“Well.. he didn’t want to distract you. They won’t stop asking him about you.” My brow furrowed in question.

“He’s in with reporters right now.” Jesper gestured down the hall. I assumed he meant Jack was in the locker room. “They won’t let you go.” Tears welled up in my eyes again.

“We can wait for him together?” I nodded.

Jesper walked me into the lounge and grabbed me a bottle of water.

“I was shocked when it came out.. I know you and Jack were trying really hard not to be public.” Jesper sat down on the couch, and patted the empty cushion next to him. I sat beside him as he handed me the bottle of water.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him that night we went out.” I breathed out, shaking my head. I unscrewed the bottle cap and took a sip of the liquid. It helped refresh my dry throat.

“Can’t limit your happiness to closed doors.” Jesper had a point, but if I had limited my happiness to closed doors, I wouldn’t be miserable right now.

“Bratter?” My head shot in the direction of the door at the sound of a Swiss accent. I raised a brow at Nico in the doorway, dressed in a sweater covered in a colorful floral pattern. Nico looked right back at me, staring me down with that, ‘stays between us’ kind of expression.

“What the hell are they making you do in there?” Jesper asked, slinging an arm over the back of the couch.

“Some spring skit.. I don’t know. I acted really bad so they wouldn’t use me for it.” Nico quickly peeled the sweater off. “Your turn.” He stepped into the room and tossed the sweater at Jesper.

The blonde looked rather displeased, but he swiftly grabbed the sweater and stood up.

“You sit with her and wait for Jack then.. okay?” Nico and Jesper exchanged looks before the Swiss man nodded, then the Swede left the room.

“So,” Nico turned back to me. He fixed his hair, pursing his lips. “Jack’s pretty tense.” He plopped down on the couch next to me, my body jolting slightly at the way the sofa bounced. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, Nico.” I glared at him. He was trying his best.

“Right… everything’ll iron out.” He pulled his phone from his pocket. “You wanna play chess while we wait?” I glared at him once again. How could a man so thoughtful like Nico be so… lost when it came to this stuff? Because he’s been single for far too long. Jack always tried setting him up, but Nico was never interested. Said there were too many cultural differences.

“I have air hockey on here too.” He gave me that dumb lopsided smile. That smile that I always rolled my eyes at. Now I just wanted to wipe it off his face and tell him he was no help. But I gave in. I needed a distraction. I pulled my legs up onto the couch and turned my body to face Nico. He opened the game and set his phone down between us.

He started the game. I was better than him at it.

“People being mean to you?”

“You have no idea.”

“I checked some of the comments on the Devils post.” I glanced up at him before looking back down at the phone.

“It’s not good.” I shrugged.

“People make fun of my eyebrows sometimes.” I looked back up at him. Nico looked sincere, yet his eyes were still focused on the phone. I had to look back down. If he scored, it would only interrupt the flow of our conversation.

“Kids used to do it a lot in school. I used to ask my sister to fix them for me.” Somehow, the idea of a tiny Nico asking to have his brows waxed was amusing, but I held in my laughter for the sake of his ego. “Kids called me angry birds. I didn’t know what it meant for the longest time. But I knew I just hated my eyebrows.”

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but it felt great to be understood nonetheless.

“Now everybody’s calling you a bunch of things, and I know it’s hard. But I’d suggest listening to what the people who love you say. They know better than anybody else.”

I scored on Nico. We both looked up at each other, and I offered him a sad smile.

“Means the world to hear, Nic. Sorry for calling you the Eagle from the muppets.”

His brows knit together in confusion. But I didn’t have time to explain the subtle joke before we both heard quiet complaining in the hall. Jack’s ever gentle voice laced with tension and stress. Maybe even shaking.

“Where’s Nico?”

“God- I just wanna talk to Nico!”

I quickly stood up and took the bottle of water with me as I stepped out into the hall. Jack was gone. My gaze flickered about until he emerged from a room, he must have been on a pretty aggressive hunt for his captain. Jack stopped though when he spotted me. The emotions returned. He looked as stressed as I’d felt before. Now I only felt overwhelmed and sad.

“Babe?” Jack slowly made his way down the hall to meet me by the lounge door. He was gentle when he pulled me into a hug, dipping his head to rest against my shoulder while I wrapped my arms around his neck, careful not to spill my water.

“It’s all gone to shit.” I whispered.

“I’m so sorry..” Jack mumbled in response. Neither of us could have been prepared for this. And it wasn’t either of our faults.

“Jack don’t apologize.” I pulled back, feeling the familiar sting of tears in my eyes.

“I’m done for the day.. I got done early. Let’s just go home.. please.” He sounded as desperate to get out of there as I was to get to him. I nodded.

——————

Jack drove us back to his apartment. I didn’t care enough about my car to be away from him for too long, but I had grabbed my bag. He let me inside before himself, but we never left each other’s eyesight. The second Jack pushed the door shut, his arms were around me. I reached a hand up to hold the back of his head, my other hand resting overtop of his own that lay on my stomach.

“They asked me so many things about you.” Jack mumbled.

“Jack.. baby.. you don’t think..” was now even the time to bring it up? I sighed. “I’m not too big for you.. am I? Or too small? Or too anything?”

Jack pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

“You’re just right. You always have been. Always will be.” He slowly pulled away to walk around in front of me. “Are they saying stuff about your body?” He looked so disgusted by the fact, but Jack was more worldly innocent than one might assume. He never wanted to expect the worst from others.

“I guess so..” I shrugged, rubbing one of my arms. My body language said enough. He could always tell when I was uncomfortable.

“You shouldn’t look.” Jack reached out to rest his hands on my upper arms.

“I know that, Jack. I just- I guess I just wanted them to like me.” I looked down.

“Hey, hey.” Jack moved one of his hands to rest his fingers beneath my chin, tilting my head up. “They will. They’re gonna love you.” His brow furrowed as his eyes searched for my own. But I still couldn’t be bothered to make eye contact. “Babe.. babe look at me.” He wasn’t demanding. He was gentle. Encouraging. He was always so kind to me. Even his behavior in this moment brought tears to my eyes. I looked at him though, and I watched his heart break in slow motion. I watched his eyes grow solemn.

“It’ll just take time. Just give it time.” Jack pulled me into another hug, his arms wrapped tightly around my body as one hand laid between my shoulder blades and the other pressed into the small of my back. I buried my face in his chest. I wanted nothing more than to go back to the day before, when nobody knew about me. When I was just me.. just a university student.

“Jack,” I whispered into his chest. I slowly lifted my head. He looked down at me. His expression showed nothing but devotion. He was ready to pull the stars from the sky if I said the word. “We’ll be with each other through this.. right?”

“Stay with me through spring break…” the offer was a surprise, but one I wasn’t opposed to. We both needed each other, and time away from my college campus was never a bad thing.

“I think I can do that.” I sniffled as I slipped my hands between our bodies, resting them on his chest. Being in his arms was the most comforting thing in the world. Going through this whole ordeal seemed a lot less stressful when I knew it would be spent with him.

“I love you.” Jack whispered, a grin forming on his lips as his hands wandered to my hips, only to eventually find my backside. I jumped at the feeling. “I want you to love yourself too. Please don’t let people convince you you’re not perfect.” Jack’s words were easier said than done.

“I wish you’d just see yourself the way I saw you.. god you’re such an Angel to me.” He pressed a kiss to my head. My heart fluttered as my temperature rose. “They’ll see you that way one day too.” Those promises were debatable, but believing them made me relax. Maybe if I just lived in Jack’s world for a little while.. his positive reality, it would be better in the long run.

Despite the fact that we still had hours left in the day, neither of us seemed too interested in going anywhere or doing anything. Jack and I ended up in bed together. We both had the bare minimum on.. bodies mark-less but heads full of love. I could still feel Jack’s lips pressed against each of my insecurities, and his hands massaging circles into my muscles. Likewise I swore I could still feel his skin beneath my hands. His silky hair between my fingers. Every dip and curve of his muscles committed to memory.

Jack kept me away from my phone in the most effective way.

Moments ago, lips had trailed my shoulders and my arms, down my chest and around my stomach and sides. He’d put the work in on my thighs too, so gentle and sweet. He never left a mark. It wasn’t that kind of night. His kisses were passionate, but not lustful. He was so full of love.. so heartfelt in each of his movements. Jack was one of a kind.

I laid, curled into his side, my head resting in the space between his arm and his chest, just beneath his shoulder.

“Ya know.. I saw a girl today say she missed your ex.” I spoke quietly, afraid to disturb the peace. But it was on my mind nonetheless.

Jack tensed. He shuffled, then picked his head up to look down at me.

“I don’t.” He scoffed. “She was horrible.”

I turned my head to look at him, but Jack rested his head against the pillow again before I could see his eyes.

“What was she like?”

“Nothing like you. She came around at a busy time.. right after the draft. I was too distracted to really pay attention to all the red flags. She was mean.”

“Does it bother you when people say they miss her?”

“It would if there was something to miss.” Jack moved his shoulders to shrug before halting when he realized my head was there. “It would be a different story If it was you.”

“What?”

“If it was you.. I’d miss you too. I was so worried you’d back out when you saw everything today. I didn’t want to lose you.. but by the time I could speak to anybody, our whole social team just put it out there.” Jack slowly turned onto his side, my head fell to the bed. He wrapped his arm around me and I quickly turned to mirror him.

“I would never leave over something like this. You mean too much to me.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” The sound of my phone ringing from the floor had me slowly turning to get up, but I only got my back turned to Jack before he pulled me against his chest. I yelped out a laugh.

“Jack.” I reached to pry his hand from my stomach.

“No phones.. please?” I sighed. The chances of somebody actually needing me were slim, so I let the call go unanswered.

“Alright. You win baby.” I carefully rolled over, pulling his hand from my body and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Jack smiled. He loved a lot of things, but being pampered was one of his favorites. I pressed another kiss to the back of his hand, then one to his wrist, before playfully biting and kissing all the way up his arm. Kissing him everywhere just like he’d done to me before. Jack broke into a fit of giggles by the time I reached his forearm. After I got to his shoulder, I raised my lips to his own, pressing a much deeper kiss there to silence him.

When I pulled away, Jack’s baby blues eyed me. I kissed his jaw. “God.. they’re gonna love you so much.” He whispered, shaking his head. Astounded.

“They just don’t know you yet.. but they will.”

“As long as they don’t love me more than you do.”

“Nobody can love you more than I do.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[hetaliaimaginesin2022]

I love America, can we get college au jock x nerd? thank you

I fear I'm an America simp right now, I love him

Jock America With a Nerd Partner | College Au

Al was quite popular in the college

He was charming with gorgeous eyes, kind to everyone, upbeat and incredibly good on the sports fields, participating in baseball and football (not to mention, single)

You however, excelled in your own right through academics, and were popular, albeit in a smaller group than Al, through the school's debate team, tutoring program, and e-sports

Suffice to say, you two didn't fall in the same social circles, and considering you were on a college campus, you two didn't get the chance to talk to one another naturally

There was an encounter between you two in the form of an offer of tutoring however

You were called during working hours, where you were payed by the school to provide tutoring services to students who were struggling academically

Apparently Alfred, while excelling on the field, was far less gifted in class and needed to pick his grades up or he'd be benched

The professor requested that you tutor him three to five days out of the week, logging each, assisting him in english, history, and health (though, interestingly, he seemed perfectly capable in math and some sciences)

You hadn't tutored someone other than the occasional lesson and really only agreed because it looks good on a resume and was easy money, but you couldn't a good excuse to say no, and agreed

You found him to be extremely kind and energetic, and even on assignments he struggled, he kept going with a happy face, even if, during breaks, he's complain about the "difficultness" of some of the work

Because you had to spend so much time with each other, you two became closer, opting to talking about yourself here and there, mainly prompted by him

After finding out you did E-sports, he attended one of your teams unofficial practices, and watched you sweep, taking a victorious win, and was quite impressed with your skills

He learned about what you were attending college for and why and in return, you learned that he was attending for aerospace engineering and worked hard at the subjects that benefited his degree, not caring about the ones that didn't, which made his grades make sense

One day, you were two were holding a tutor session early in the morning after his workout, and he decided to go for coffee and doughnuts before you started bringing the books out

Hoping in his lightly rusted, cherry red pick-up truck, he drove you two to the nearest place

He was in a t-shirt that clung to his body and a pair of sweatpants, his hair was still damp from the quick shower he took and he was energetically talking about how his morning went, his eyes look gorgeous in the early sun and his smile was beaming

You decided he looked incredibly handsome and that maybe your couple months of friendship had the potential to form into something deeper

As both classes and game season were drawing to a close, his grades improving significantly thanks to your help, and midterms went off without a hitch

After the last football game of the season, he sprinted up to you immediately after the game and picked you up, smiling wildly and laughing

It didn't matter the score, or how he preformed, you were there, watching him and rooting along, he was having a blast

In that moment he really wanted to kiss you, but realized you two weren't even dating

Ultimately, he impulsively askes you out

When you say yes, he's overjoyed, and goes out to a fast food place to celebrate

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are Weird: Need for speed

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)        

Alien: It is so nice to meet another space faring species.

Alien: We have been alone for so long; we were starting to believe that we were the only ones out there.

Alien: Can you imagine how stupid that is?

Human: Yeah……that’d be pretty silly.

Alien: How far away is your homeworld?

Human: *Pulls out datapad and enters several keys*

Human: From our current location it would be roughly ten lightyears away.

Alien: TEN!?!?!

Alien: Our ships have barely been able to survive a journey of two lightyears.

Alien: *Looks around at the thousands of humans mingling with their people*

Alien: Do your ships normally need this many crew?

Human: Oh no.

Human: We’re a colony ship enroute to a potential habitable world.

Human: It’s still some three lightyears away but when we picked up your transmissions we diverted course to meet you.

Alien: If your destination is still so far away.

Alien: Your cryo chamber must be highly advanced to sustain themselves for such a long journey.

Human: Cryo chambers?

Alien: You know; the cold storage chambers you put your crew and passengers in.

Alien: Our most advanced ships can travel between our planets within three years.

Alien: Even our most advanced engineers dare not even consider traveling a distance of ten or more lightyears.

Alien: How many years have you been in transit?

Human: Years?

Human: We’ve been in transit for a little over a month.

Alien: …………..

Alien: Did you say a month?

Human: I guess maybe a month and, like, three days; but a month just sounds better.

Alien: If that were true, then you would have had to been traveling at roughly-

Human: Very fast, we know.

Human: Don’t ask me to do the math, it hurts my brain.

Alien: How is that even possible?

Human: At the front of our ships we developed a special matter condenser that basically functions as a sudo mini black hole.

Human: When activated the black hole begins excreting gravitational pull on the ship which pulls us like water going down a drain.

Human: Since our projected paths avoid any gravitational anomalies we essentially have a clear path forward with ever increasing speed.

Alien: You generate black holes….to make you go faster……

Human: Sudo mini black holes, to be more precise.

Alien: I ….just….. what…

Alien: At those speeds your body, let alone your entire ship would be reduced to atoms.

Human: True, but a nifty side effect of the black hole is as long as we are caught in its well outside physics become distorted.

Human: While we are in the pull it feels like nothing more than leaning forward down a steep hill.

Alien: How do you even slow down at such speeds?

Alien: The force required to halt such speeds would be equal to if not greater than.

Human: Oh we just use the same sudo mini black hole generator at the back of the ship a few lightyears out to begin deceleration.

Human: We started slowing down three lightyears from you before we altered course to come visit.

Alien: I…..I just don’t know what to say.

Alien: Such technology seems so far advanced and beyond our comprehension.

Alien: Isn’t it dangerous?

Human: Oh extremely.

Human: I can’t even begin to tell you how many ships had improperly aligned their black hole generators and were sucked inside it the moment it activated.

Human: Or when a passing comet would alter the trajectory and send the ship flying headfirst into a nearby planet creating a new asteroid belt.

Human: That’s not even mentioning the gravity disturbance waves we leave behind us.

Alien: All of those sound terrible beyond measure.

Alien: Why not find a safer means of travel?

Alien: We can share our cryo technology with you and you can make your own ark ships.

Human: That’s a very kind offer, but we have already attempted cryo sleep transit.

Alien: Was it not safer than using literal black holes?

Human: To a degree.

Alien: Meaning?

Human: While it was safer, studies showed that crew and passengers had increased risks of developing space insanity if the journey lasted longer than five years.

Human: Some adapted naturally but the many had spent their lives planetside and were not ready for the mental and physical strains of space life.

Human: They snapped and became rabid; a devolution to a more primitive nature.

Alien: So let me get this straight.

Alien: Your people travels via black hole tug of wars because if you go slowly you go insane and become rabid?

Human: Yup.

Alien: How is that even possible?

Human: Well waiting patiently went out of style after the third Karen war.

Alien: The what?

[ghostsbimbo]

𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 - cαptαın john prıce x college student! reαder

warnings: so much fucking angst :) author's note: it's a coping fic for college stress, don't judge me. also, please note, y'all are getting my major which is Early Childhood Education. The math is FUCKING difficult. also <3 word count: 608 [ not counting lyrics ] inspired by: part of verse 2 of burned out by dodie.

I am burnt out, I smell of smoke It seeps through her cracks and so I start to choke Sentences sit in her mouth that are templated You waited, smiling, for this?

it was your first semester back to college after taking a much needed break from school. you were still a freshman considering how poorly you did prior to your break, and right now, you were sitting in your shared bed, surrounded by notes and homework.

Price looked on with worried eyes. It was easy to tell you needed a break, considering you were a full time student and had also recently started a part time job that was within your major.

You let out a soft, shaky sigh as you stared at the plethora of papers of the subject you dreaded the most: math. You were an Early Childhood Education major, the math class was basically you learning the secrets that teachers knew about math and how to teach them in a way kids could understand, and yet you were stumped on the subject. learning how to teach math should've been easy! but nope, it wasn't.

You were currently on the verge of tears when you heard a cough which startled you. you looked up at the door way and seen your very concerned boyfriend with his arms over his chest.

"maybe take a break, love?" John suggested calmly as he walked over to the bed, carefully moving your papers & notebook - god why did your professor give you so many note packets? - which was met with a headshake and a few tears rolling down your face.

"c-cant...it..I gotta get this stuff done." you whispered.

John let out a soft sigh, understanding how you felt, but he knew the damage the overwhelming amount of work was being piled onto you was doing. He gently took the papers and grabbed the folder and neatly put them away before grabbing your notebook, calculator and pencil case and putting them into your book bag.

"you can return to them tomorrow, lovie, please just take a break for the night." John was basically demanding you to take a break at this point. As soon as he did that though, you basically let yourself move into his arms and start crying.

"I can't do this anymore, John. I want to be a teacher so bad...but I can't...I can't even get this fucking homework done." You cried into his arms, which just resulted in his arms wrapping around you, lightly rubbing your back.

He let out a soft sigh as he heard your stomach rumble. "How about, we get you some food and get you taken care of, yeah?" He suggested gently, trying to get you to calm down. He knew how you worked when you were stressed - you neglected all basic needs until the thing that was causing you stress was gone, sometimes going as far as to not shower - He didn't wait for an answer, heading for the kitchen to make you your favorite tea, and grabbing a takeout menu, considering he'd much rather order out so he could be near you in case you needed him.

“But they love you” Over and over, “They love you” Thousands and thousands of eyes just like mine Aching to find who they are "Oh, they love you! Oh, you can feel how they love you" Coated and warm but that's all they can do Words only get through if they're sharp

It'd been about a few hours now, your stomach now full of food, bed with clean sheets, and you now squeaky clean. You had fallen asleep after the shower, curled up to Price's side. He was carefully texting the group chat he was added to - by Soap, nonetheless - telling the three to only call him if needed for the next few days, not giving the reason why, but he was going to help you get back to your normal self - starting with getting you to contact your supervisor to explain the situation.

The boys all understood without even needing to be told what was going on - something with you, and you were his top priority when it was possible.

[karmic-vibes]

If I Can Dream

7 - Tell Me Why

cw: gender dysphoria

art credit: @lazylittledragon on tumblr and lazyjunebug on twitter. huge thank you for allowing me to use their artwork as inspiration for this story. please go support them and all they do!

a/n: this story is not in a world with the upside-down. this is simply a little, wholesome story of people who love and care for each other.

Year: 1988

Eddie had (finally) graduated from Hawkins High in 1986. Both him and Steve were going strong [to the point where he introduced Eddie to his teenage children], and doing moderately well in their respective community college classes. Initially, they both decided on getting a higher education in order to get better jobs to pay for Eddie’s top surgery. However, as an early Christmas gift, Wayne pooled his money together, working ungodly hours at the plant, to pay for the surgery out of pocket for his nephew.

Eddie got his procedure done late 1987. Steve was by his side the entire time, sleeping in the creaky, worn-down hospital chair, waiting for his boyfriend to finally wake up. When he did, in a daze, Eddie immediately questioned if Steve stole his tits (he, in fact, did not). His scars ended up healing well, with no further complications. While Steve was mildly upset he couldn’t pay for Eddie’s procedure, he was more than happy that his boyfriend didn’t need to (unhealthily) bind his chest anymore. 

As the two boys were each approaching the end of their programs in school, army crawling their way to an associates degree, they started talking about making some relatively big leaps in their relationship. The two boys were renting an apartment at the moment, and started talking about buying a home, maybe getting an animal or two. Possibly even considering marriage within the coming years—the possibilities were endless for the two of them. 

That was, until, Eddie was late. He had never been late. He started counting back the days, weeks even, from his last period—a week before Valentine’s Day.

“Shit,” he whispered.

He paced the bathroom, doing the math a million times over in his head to see if it was right. A pregnancy test sat face down on the counter, antagonizing Eddie as it took its sweet time processing the result.

Him and Steve always had unprotected sex. Ever since the very start of their relationship, Steve never wore a condom. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, Eddie always told him he didn’t need to. And up until that point, he was right—they didn’t need one, per se. They both got tested regularly, and more often than not, Steve pulled out. Never, in a thousand years, did Eddie ever think he would find himself in this situation.

Knowing there was still another thirty minutes left to process on the test, he decided to rip the band-aid off and tell Steve what was going on. Steve was in their bedroom getting ready for work. He was sat on the bed, putting on his socks and adjusting the cuffs of his jeans. Eddie let out a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe.

“So, uh…” Eddie started. “Don’t freak out, but I’m really late.”

“Late for what?” Steve asked, only half paying attention. Eddie’s eyes shot open as he stared daggers into his boyfriend.

“Oh.” He shrugged, realization finally kicking in. “Oh!”

“Yeah, oh!”

“How-How… how?”

“You really want me to answer that?”

“I, um… holy shit… wow…”

“Yeah… wow…”

“Did you take a test?”

“It’s processing right now.”

“How much longer?”

“I dunno… twenty, maybe thirty minutes…”

“Shit, alright, um… let me call out of work and we’ll figure this out.” Eddie slowly nodded as Steve ran for the phone. He dialed up Family Video and anxiously twisted the phone cord, waiting for Keith or Robin to answer.

“Family Video, Robin speaking. How may I help you?”

“Oh, Rob, thank god it’s you. I can’t make it in today.”

“Why not?”

“Family stuff. I’ll tell you later when I know more. You mind covering?”

“I guess not, but you owe me one, dingus.”

“Yes, deal! Thank you, Robin, I love you.”

“Mhmm, good luck. Let me know how everything works out.”

“Okay, that’s settled,” Steve said, hanging up the phone. “So how late are you?”

“Uh, what’s today, April fifth, uh… week before Valentine’s Day was my last period.”

“That long! Jesus, Ed, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know! I had some light spotting last month that I figured was my period, but I’ve had terrible heartburn and nausea for the last week and just… something doesn’t feel right…”

“Okay, okay, well, let’s not jump to conclusions. We’ll go into the bathroom when the time is up and we’ll check, then go from there. Okay?” Eddie nodded. “Okay…”

The next half hour was agonizing for the two boys. It was as if time managed to stand still. When the time finally came, the two sat on the cold, tile floor, test in hand. Steve held it facing away from him with one hand gently resting on Eddie’s jittery knee.

“Do you want me to look first?” Steve asked.

“Yeah…” Eddie hesitantly whispered.

Steve held his breath as he flipped over the test. Eddie’s eyes glanced over, horrified at the sight.

Holy shit…

His heart was thumping out of his chest. The two pink lines glaring right back at him.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, anxiously gripping at his pant legs. “I knew it,” he scoffed. “I knew something wasn’t right… fuck!” He got up from the floor and stormed out of the bathroom.

Steve, being lost in the fantasy of becoming a father, did a double take at his partner stomping out of the bathroom. He scrambled to get up and follow him into the bedroom. He was throwing on an old hoodie, probably older than their relationship, and pushed his way to the front door.

“Eddie? Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Eddie, wait–“

“I really don’t wanna do this right now, Steve.”

“So how long are you gonna stay out? And what happens when you come back? Huh? You can’t run from it, Ed–“

“Yeah, I can.”

He flicked his hood up and slammed the front door behind him. He began trudging his way through the streets, wiping his tears from his cheeks. He couldn’t believe this was happening—how could he have let this happen?

He managed to find his way to the local park. He dried his eyes and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie before scaling the most secluded tree he could find. He watched over all the parents with their children, not sure if he even wanted to be in their shoes. As he glazed over all the people in the park, he noticed his boyfriend, still in his work uniform with a cardigan thrown on for warmth.

“Fuck…” Eddie clutched his knees to his chest and wept into his hands.

“Ed… come on,” Steve pleaded. “Get down, please… I don’t want you getting hurt.”

Not wanting to cause a scene, Eddie climbed down and fell into his boyfriend’s arms, sobbing into the crook of his neck

“Sorry,” Eddie cried.

“It’s okay,” Steve whispered.

“No, it’s not.”

“It’s okay, really. I know you just freaked out.” He held Eddie close to him, running his hand up and down his back, while the other was laced in his hair. “Eddie,” he started, pulling out of the hug. “If you don’t want this–“

“It’s not that I don’t want it. I guess… I don’t know. I thought you’d panic and take off.”

“What the hell? No, absolutely not!”

“Yeah, part of me kinda figured,” Eddie mumbled, still avoiding eye contact. “So… I guess we’re having a kid…”

“I guess we are,” Steve smiled.

“Are you happy?” Eddie whispered.

“I’m really happy, Ed.”

“People are going to talk…”

“I know.”

“A lot.”

“I don’t care.”

“Shit… we’re gonna be dads.”

“Terrible, terrible dads,” Steve chuckled, pulling Eddie back in for a hug.

“I’ll be terrible. You’ll be great.”

“I’ll hear no such thing, Harrington.”

“Harrington?” Eddie pulled away, still keeping a grip on Steve’s forearms.

“Yeah, I figured we should share a last name. You know, for the baby,” he smirked.

“Right… for the baby…”

[sariahsue]

Let Me Count the Ways

Chapter Ten - Movie Date

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [Ch 7] [Ch 8] [Ch 9]

Adrien was in a foul mood by the time patrol rolled around.

He hadn't slept well, which made his early morning photo shoot and the punishing akuma that followed all the more grueling. That didn't even count the math test he was sure he'd bombed, plus the ton of homework he needed to do over the weekend. Who knew if he would even finish it all? Another long shoot was scheduled for tomorrow, and Hawk Moth would probably send extra akumas just to spite him. His mood was so bad that he wasn't even excited about patrol, but he hauled his sorry self out his window and trudged across the rooftops anyway.

When he was just two blocks away from their meeting place, Ladybug sent him a text on his baton. He checked it more for the excuse to stop than the desire to see what she said.

The message read simply: Bring the blanket.

He shoved the baton roughly back to its spot and turned around, bristling at the terse order. With his luck today, she wanted him to return it.

Stomping all the way back to his house, he yanked back the duvet and revealed the blanket, which he wadded up in his arms, leaving the bed unmade. He didn't feel like putting in the effort to make it look nice for no one.

It only took a few minutes until he was close enough to see their meeting location. A flat section of roof sheltered on one side by a taller portion of the building. Ladybug was kneeling there, in the middle of a pink blanket and taking something out of a bag. A few jumps closer, and he could smell the chocolate and sugar.

"Cookies?" he asked when he landed next to her.

"Sorry for making you turn around." She stood, holding the overflowing plate out to him. "I needed more time to set up and panicked."

He stared at the plate, hands still full of crumpled blanket. Ladyfingers and lemon cookies and macarons and lots of ganache drizzled over everything.

"Oh," she said. "Here." She shifted the plate to one hand and grabbed the blanket from him so they could switch. Then she turned back to her setup. At the head of her pink blanket, leaning against the brick wall, was a giant black pillow. It was shaped like a cat's head, with large ears and a hand-stitched face made with green thread.

Ladybug shook out his black blanket, folded it in half and sat with it across her lap. "Well, if you're not going to eat them, can you bring them over here?" She patted the spot next to her.

Did she make the pillow like she had his blanket? It matched the color scheme. The cloth looked like the same type. He put the cookies between them and sat down, only to have her immediately pick up the plate and slide in close to him.

He really loved the blanket she'd given him, and how cuddly she was whenever she and it were both near him. He barely managed to stop himself from leaning into her warmth. To distract himself he asked, "Did you make the pillow, too?"

"Yup, finished it last night. It's for you. Isn't it cute?"

His voice felt suddenly too heavy to use, so he just nodded.

Balancing the plate of cookies on her knees, she pulled out her phone. "You seemed upset this morning, and I wanted to cheer you up. So, movie night?"

Huh. Some time between his arrival and now, she'd managed to clear his bad feelings without trying, and he hadn't even noticed. "Sounds good," he said.

"You want to talk about it?" Her hand hovered over the screen.

His mouth twitched. He did want to. "Can't. It's mostly what I've been doing all day."

Ladybug chewed the inside of her cheek, like she was actually… considering? But she shrugged, and the moment passed, and the faint sound of opening music spread out over the silence between them.

After thirty minutes, Chat Noir wasn't sure what movie they were watching, even though he'd been staring at the screen for all he was worth.

Because Ladybug was touching his hand.

It had started out so slowly that he'd thought it was accidental, just a light brush of her fingers against his wrist, so he dutifully moved his hand out of the way (but still close enough for it to happen again - just in case).

And it did happen again. After just a few minutes, the edge of her hand slid right up against his.

He frowned at the screen, unseeing. She'd been doing a lot of touching like this lately. He'd thought it was unconscious at first, but there had just been too much - it had to be on purpose.

He just couldn't figure out why. His Lady was many things, and indecisive was not one of them. If she wanted to hold his hand (or do anything else), they would be doing it already. And she wasn't coy either. She wouldn't be playing with him. So what was she doing?

Ladybug's hand started to move again. An explosion on the tiny phone screen was nothing compared to the explosions that were happening in Chat Noir's brain as she started mindlessly playing with the tips of his fingers and stroking his knuckles.

Every muscle in his arm clenched with the effort of holding still. He shouldn't react. She might pull away if he did. So he chanted don't, don't, don't as he imagined grabbing her hand and kissing it, the back of it, the palm, every fingertip and knuckle, dragging his lips around her wrist, and up to the soft hollow of her elbow, and higher and higher until he reached her mouth.

But he kept himself very still, not even a twitch, until his arm ached with the effort, and she finally pulled her hand away.

---

Author’s note: The next chapter will probably be the longest one. :)

Tag list: @clawsout83 @trippingovermyfeet @tbehartoo @yoonjae20 @random-cartoon-fangirl

[bleachbleachbleach]

Could regular souls in Soul Society turn into hollows? Like I know most souls get their memories erased when they arrive through Konso but they could still either carry some memories like the Fullbringers did or they get new regrets that lead them to become Hollows?

ippoddity: When regular souls arrive in Soul Society, it’s because either 1) they died and were ready to move on from the Living World so they were transported to Soul Society, or 2) a shinigami konsou’d them and the process of konsou cleanses a soul of their sins, so they get to go to Soul Society. This means that I think just about all souls get to start with a blank slate. I believe there’s a Klub question that Kubo answered at one point, where he said that souls lose the memories of the Living World life over time. All of which is to say, I don’t think any souls are carrying over memories or regrets from past lives. However, the prospect that a soul might get new regrets during their time in Soul Society is a very intriguing notion. 

Hollows are the souls of deceased humans who have lost their heart due to regret/despair, or some kind of unfulfilled business. So the two things we need to make a Hollow are (deceased) human soul + loss of heart.

We know that souls in Soul Society have “hearts.” They can feel regret and guilt. Hisana feels immense regret over abandoning baby Rukia. As far as we know, Hisana didn’t turn into a hollow, but maybe that’s because she trusted Byakuya to do the right thing, so she was able to come to terms with her regret before death. Perhaps if a soul acquires regrets in Soul Society, they aren’t able to “die” until they come to terms with it anyway, so if they can’t die in the afterlife with regret, they can’t turn into a Hollow.

For the other part of the equation, we need to start with a “human soul.” And I’m not entirely sure if a soul is still considered a “human soul” by the time it arrives in Soul Society? Early Bleach tells us that human souls (pluses) and Hollows are opposites, while Shinigami and Quincy are opposites. But I don’t know if the souls in Soul Society are ever referred to as “pluses” by anyone. So maybe they’re just (generic) Souls at that point, and aren’t even the right kind of “stuff” that gets turned into a Hollow.

Or perhaps anything that happens in Soul Society stays in Soul Society. It’s like the neutral zone, so even acts of extreme evil/violence or loss of heart don’t get measured into a soul. Those souls have to be pumped back out into the Living World anyway, so it’s more like a stasis, and the mechanism for turning into a Hollow gets turned off. 

I guess after all this, I must conclude that I don’t think a soul in Soul Society can turn into a Hollow, however, I would really like it if they could?? It’s such a juicy premise to play around with. I’d love to hear anyone else’s thoughts!

whipplefilter: I hadn't considered it, but I'm also intrigued by the prospect! Kaien is a shinigami rather than a Rukongai soul, sure, but his soul ended up fused with a Hollow. I wonder if the energy required to move a Rukongai soul into a frenzied/Hollowfication-vulnerable state is greater, so is perceived as being less of an issue than lost souls in the Living World. (Which might explain why the Gotei mostly seems to think of souls in Rukongai as data points--part of a stoichiometric equation--moreso than as meaningful entities at the individual level, which seems mostly reserved for human ghosts. Though I don't then know where this would slot in with the process of becoming a shinigami/cultivating the reiryoku level of a shinigami. Maybe that's a different set of existential math equations entirely, though? and unrelated to the energetic potentials/baselines of konpaku in the Living World vs. in Soul Society.) The conversation probably ends up slippery-sloping its way into Aizen's Hollowfication experiments at some point, but WE'LL STOP HERE TONIGHT.

[tablestoastandtime]

SAHTW: Trinity

So per that funny little poll, here's a snippet that's probably getting cut from the main fic of the sequel to Take It Back Now Y'all, but is kinda fun anyways. The current title for the whole project is Such A Heart That Will and all ficlets will have that in the title and the tags + a descriptor.

Bruce is having FeelingsTM and also an interrogation.

On his own, it would have taken months of planning. Even with the help of his family it would have been weeks. Within thirty-seven minutes of telling Clark and Diana that he needed to talk to Alvin Draper, a not insignificant member of the Gotham criminal element, openly and honestly after years of push, pull, and mysteries, the entire matter was handled.

There was always something humbling about the reminder just what the remarkable people he surrounded himself with were capable of.

In this case, that meant the Red Hood of Gotham seated and bound in the Lasso of Truth on the Watchtower.

His helmet was gone, but they’d left his domino as a professional courtesy, for whatever that was worth. It wasn’t much but it was a shred of privacy in what was bound to be a vivisection of a conversation. Bruce hoped it was better than nothing.

There wasn’t the space for that kind of mercy when it came to the questions even Bruce wanted to. The Lasso gave no quarter.

“Had you already been planning your takeover Park Row when we first met?” He needed to know, even if he doubted it. Back then the boy had barely been upright with illness, but time had proven Alvin a skilled liar. It wasn’t entirely out of the question that maybe the whole thing had been a play to bring his guard down. Bruce already knew that Alvin had somehow discovered his identity years ago. He might have already known back then. He might have use that, then.

Alvin barely blinked before the words were spilling out, honest in a way Bruce knew he would never be anywhere else. “It hadn’t’ crossed my mind in any meaningful way. The idea of controlling Crime Alley was a pipe-dream. I’ve seen people try and I’ve seen them fail.. Why would I be any different?”

“Any why were you?” Clark asked, gaze steady and incisive, all light and journalistic focus. “Different, that is. What do you have that they didn’t?”

Alvin twitched, the barest of flickers in his cheek and a tightening around the eyes for half a breath. In front of any other tribunal, the reaction might have gone unnoticed. Tonight, it didn’t.

“Training, knowledge, foresight, and a tired and true persona managed by a combination of deception, dramatics, and dumbass RNG.”

There were more questions than answers in that response, and Bruce paused to consider which angle to start unravelling them from. Who had Alvin watched fail to take over Crime Alley? Where had he tested his methods? Alvin’s resemblance to other criminals was a funhouse mirror, all warped edges and alien familiarity. He looked as much like an unusually brutal vigilante as he did a gang leader. Bruce could go try to pull apart the knot of his behaviour from any one of a dozen of threads, but which would get the most mileage?

Diana had no such compunctions. “What is Batman to you?”

A fair question, and one that cut to the root of so many of the questions and fears in the dark of Bruce’s lungs in a way that Bruce may not have thought to go for this early in the process. Certainly not something he would have thought of asking for the real reason he wanted to know.

He didn’t want Alvin to have lied about caring.

Bruce only had a moment to enjoy the warmth that flickered at Diana’s thoughtfulness before Alvin’s response crushed his ribs inwards.

“Well he’s my dad.”

His vision tunnelled ever so slightly, even as some part of his brain started doing the math. It didn’t make sense, couldn’t be true, the numbers just didn’t line up. And yet, somehow, it had to be the truth because otherwise Alvin wouldn’t have been able to say it.

Which meant-

Alvin was a good liar, but Bruce knew from experience that the Lasso didn’t work like that.

Which meant-

In every encounter they’d ever had, no matter Bruce’s disguise or name, Alvin had always looked at him with something Bruce had never been able to pin down. Something wary and judging and longing. Years passed and sometimes it was so secondary Bruce forgot to wonder what it meant, but from that first meeting with a child blinking through fever and cheap lighting to their last fight at the docks that ended with the Red Hood diving into the harbour, Alvin Draper had always looked at him like he wanted Bruce to know him but never expected him to be able to.

Which meant-

Beneath the domino mask they’d left him, Alvin’s face twisted. That seemed right, because Bruce had no idea how to untwist the knife he felt buried in his lungs.

“I wish you hadn’t asked that.”

[destinyc1020]

Zs projects after M&M were Space Jam 2, NWH, Euphoria, Challengers and Dune 2. She also participated in the documentary about the black supermodel Bethann Hardison and the Elvis Mitchell documentary about 70s Black cinema "Is that Black Enough for You?". She had signed to Spidey, Dune and Euphoria before she did M&M. Space Jam 2 had a black creative team and Ryan Coogler asked her to join the project relatively late (a white voice actress had already done some of the recordings) because they wanted another popular actor to help sell it. So I think this concern about Z abandoning her black roots is greatly exaggerated. We know that she's careful about taking roles from dark skinned actresses, so have anons considered that the parts that Black creatives have offered her are ones that Z thought would be better taken by a dark skinned sister? If people don't have a concrete example of a project from a Black creative that Z has turned away, they shouldn't just make it up in their mind. Z mentioned how she was supposed to work with Nia DaCosta but the project fell through (many fans think that the project was A While Lie, which was about a light skinned black woman that was passing as white in the early 1900s)

I see what you're saying Anon. And honestly, we don't know how long she's been looking at this role with Robert Pattinson. This could have been smthg she has been looking at for a while, maybe even before she did "Challengers"? 🤔

Sometimes, it takes AGES for films to come to fruition before they even start filming.

We know that she's careful about taking roles from dark skinned actresses, so have anons considered that the parts that Black creatives have offered her are ones that Z thought would be better taken by a dark skinned sister?

Errmmmm.....I would have totally agreed with you Anon had Zendaya NOT done "Challengers". Tashi was a role that was most certainly written with a Black woman in mind in the script.

So, that argument worked for a while, but after "Challengers", that excuse kinda goes out the window for me? Coz all that tells me is that Z doesn't mind taking roles from Black women as long as it's with the "right" Director. 👀

Look, I love ❤️ Z to death (you all know that), but I gotta call out things how I see it. 🤷🏾‍♀️ And smthg isn't adding up lol 😆

The math ain't mathing, as they say!

Hey, maybe she just really wanted the chance to work with Luca. Nothing wrong with that! But she needs to stop saying that she's turning down other "Black" roles because she doesn't want to take roles made for monoracial "Black actresses" in that case. 👀

We could have had a monoracial Black woman in "Challengers". That's how the script was written.

I can only imagine the type of weirdness that would have ensued though with a Black woman actress having a threesome with two White men onscreen though. 👀

I'm not even talking about just Hollywood, I'm talking about Black Twitter. Rofl 🤣

[smallcrystals]

pls pls pls i need some flashspruce headcanons, idc what they're abt i just NEED

i've been on the verge of insanity lately

this is so real and honestly your insanity brought back mine so thank you

i feel like part of the reason i've kinda fell off my eqg soapbox is bc i felt like i've said all i've ever wanted to say abt them, but i don't think i have actually! if you do not mind me repeating myself occasionally:

between flashspruce, flash has the most experience with boys despite having realised his attraction to them later than timber did. this is mainly because flash is surrounded by more boys because high school, the maths is pretty simple

timber, on the other hand, had a more complicated relationship with sexuality because his gender was doing all sorts of funny things. he had an idea that he was pan (of course, he didn't have the words for it yet) but he was never sure if he was romantically interested in boys or just admired them so obsessively he wanted to be one. as timber grew into his teen years he realised it was both lol

timber hides this with his confidence but flash can see right through it because he's dealt with boys like this before when they've hit on him previously (though they're never quite as cute as timber is. pretty privilege i tell ya)

when they're friends, they have this specific dynamic that idk how to explain (the closest i can think of is hyung-dongsaeng in korean culture), but essentially it's this feeling of wanting to dote on your friends that are younger than you (even if it's just by months). that's how flash treats timber in the early stages – flash finds out he's older than timber by a few months and now he cannot think outside of timber = baby

timber loves the mane 7 but if flash is tagging along with their hangouts (which is usually the case, timber only rarely hangs out with them as a group by himself), he's very clingy and has his arm hooked with flash's. flash finds it adorable, especially when timber refuses to let go in public

i see 2 ways in which they can go from friends to lovers; either it's very natural and it doesn't feel like anything's changed, OR they've reached a breaking point where they're just seconds away from devouring each other. sunset says that sometimes flash looks at timber like he will leave bite marks on the guy if he doesn't stop whatever he's doing (existing). both are good i'd say

timber has always filmed little candids of flash when they start being friends, mainly on his phone but whenever they're out by themselves, he brings his fancy camera out. flash doesn't know this, mainly because timber doesn't show him out of embarrassment, but you can really tell the person who filmed the videos loves their muse

flash sends over lyric docs whenever he feels like it and usually these are without any context, literally no "hello" or "how are you", just [text].doc and timber's like ???. but then timber reads them and is like sad™. timber's never admitted to this, and it'll take him a while to do so, but there have been certain lines in flash's lyrics that had him crying. how many chances do you get in life where your muse considers you their muse too?

flash sometimes buys timber books that he's read just so timber can also read them and then freak out the same way he did. most of the time timber's reaction is "why would you make me read this i am now clinically insane" which was exactly flash's goal

i would try to debate who would be the pathetic lover between flashspruce but there is no answer to that bc they are both equally pathetic in their own ways sorry loverboys

flash actively joins timber when he goes to get more wood just so he can see timber in a tanktop and an axe but flash will deny this every step of the way

timber can't say anything though bc man does this as well during the summer months when the flash drive are performing at bars; flash is Not about to wear leather in this weather and timber's gonna enjoy every moment of it

and yeah flash teaches timber the guitar bc what is he if not a lover of music and queer rockstars (he thinks timber could make a really cool queer rockstar if not for the fact he would steal a million of girls' hearts in one second and a smile)

these two make me want to chew a wall. dead serious

(i see your ask about flash, i will get to that soon i promise 🫡)

[star-mum]

the ages in Teen Wolf make no fucking sense and the MTV writers made it MY ISSUES SPECIFICALLY

insane rambling (and very bad math) under the cut

I was thinking.... the Hales weren't recluses ??? (post fire Derek doesn't count, he's been through stuff) cause Derek went to highschool like normal ??? So WHYYYY (besides convenient writing) doesn't ANYONE REMEMBER THEM ??????

Like yeah Derek was older than the main cast, whatever, but CORA ????? SHE'S THEIR AGE ???? THEY PROBABLY ALL WENT TO PRESCHOOL TOGETHER ???? AT LEAST MIDDLE SCHOOL ????

SO !!! i have JUST NOW decided that Cora, Derek and Laura are 3 years apart from each other. "What about Talia and Peter?" you ask me and if you'd given me a FUCKING SECOND I'D TELL YOU !!! GEEZ !!!

Okay so IF we assume Peter is in his early 20s when Derek is in highschool considering ONLY the actor who played him in the Paige Flashback then okay, fine they're like almost 20 years apart BUT !!! Look at Peter now !!! LOOK AT HIM !!! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN 4-6 YEARS (depending on how old you think s1 Derek is) (we'll get to that too, hold on) SO !!!! Im gonna ignore that weird casting choice and confidently give Talia and Peter a 13 years age difference, why ? you ask... idk sounds like a good number, I like things in 3s- WRONG !!! I DID EXTENSIVE MATH AND THINKING ON THIS !!!

We're gonna take some liberty here and assume Wolf Born Families are a bit traditional when it comes to kids and stuff SO Talia would've probably had her first kid in her very early 20s BUT we also need to consider that she was The Alpha of the house (and I refuse to believe Hale isn't HER family name) (OH ALSO !! Since the spark passed from her to Laura we can assume, cause I want to, that, at least, the Hale Pack worked as a matriarchy) which demands a lot of respect and work soooo I'm gonna go with her being about 24-25 when she had Laura

WHICH !!! Would've made Peter 11-12, which is not that different from the age gap he has with Talia, so he probably used to look at Laura much more as a sister than a niece (you know for the pain and suffering and drama) SO !!! when Derek was 15, Peter was 29-30 aaaand 29 makes the most sense to me, so I'd go with that!

Please dont get me started on the contradicting age of our "teen" cast !! Scott is 15 and then 18 in 10 months ???? Doesn't make sense !!!! So to ME the teen cast is all 17 in season 1 !!! except for Alison who's a year older and very understandably insecure about turning 19 and still being in highschool. And then in the span of 10 months we roll around to Scott's 18 birthday !! hooray time is linear !!!

All this to say, these are all people around the same age as our main characters AND THEY WERE PART OF THE TOWN !!!! HOW COME NO ONE REMEMBERS THEM ????

Even if we operate on the belief that Derek is, during season one, between 19-22 (which feels correct to me) that still makes the family fire NOT THAT LONG AGO (4-6 years) HOW COME PEOPLE ARE FORGETTING ABOUT IT ALREADY ????

Cora is the same age as EVERYBODY ELSE !!!! did they not go to middle school together ? do they not remember her ? who was she friends with ? Before Paige died Derek was very well integrated into High School culture, we have no reason to believe either of his sisters were homeschooled. Peter was a grOWN ADULT !!! I KNOW THE HALES WERE OLD MONEY RICH BUT DID HE NOT HAVE A JOB ???? DID HE NOT HAVE A LAW FIRM TO WORK AT ??? (recently came across a "Peter Hale had a law degree" post and it's canon to me forever now) Did Laura not pick up her siblings from school not a SINGLE DAY OF THEIR LIFE ????

OH !! WHICH REMINDS ME !! Derek said at some point that the fire happened when he and his sister were still at school and I'm pretty sure that was on s1 so he obviously meant Laura (i don't think the writers had Cora planned from the beginning, she was there to work in Erica's place) BUT !!! What if he did mean Cora, he walked his little 12 yo sister to school because he's Big Sister Laura (18 yo) was away for college at that time !!! And Kate had no choice but to leave those 3 out cause Laura wouldn't have come home without a good reason and Cora went to school at the time was Derek just a different building

This brings me to my (hopefully) final point: what the fuck is Deatons problem ???? He was Talia's emissary, he knew the pack inside and out and they very OBVIOUSLY KNEW HIM !!! HE WAS BESIDE THEIR ALPHA ALL THE DAMN TIME !!! How come Derek didn't recognize him ???? My vague memory on the dialogue between Deaton and Peter in s1 makes it seem like they Knew Each Other, in that ominous way... why didn't Derek ?? He wasn't a small child, he knew Deaton too, he could've remembered him ????

Again... things that feel like they were written into the plot only AFTER s1 aired

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s1 episode 23 thoughts

back at it again with another post surgery painkiller and x-files combo, let's goooo!

i'm almost done with season 1, only 1 more episode! i'll have to see how long it took me to get to this point and then update accordingly- but i might finish today- which will be bittersweet

(update! i started watching 20 days ago, so a i'm at a little over an episode a day! wow, time flies. and yet it seems they have always been at my side)

anyway this episode was again Problematic but i did chronicle my journey like always. i am a citizen journalist.

episode opened with some math words, math words which i definitely knew the meaning of (/s)

then the scientist we see working on a sort of jet thing gets sucked into his jet- he was locked in there by the custodian- with a sound the closed captioning described as a "squishing thud" which was. unfortunate.

enter our duo! "how was the wedding?" "you mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer?" (mulder, teasingly) "did you catch the bouquet?" (scully, teasing back) "maaaaybe :)"

(your honor i would die for them. no hesitation. mulder, what do you care if she caught the bouquet? dreaming of her as a radiant bride or something? scully, you stringing him along with that imagery? lol. lmao, even. i need to put them in a bottle and study them)

another scientist is killed when the custodian puts him into liquid nitrogen which is not something i can endorse but he WAS rude asf so i get it. and then his ear falls off and crunches which was nasty!

scully says she has seen this happen on a fish before! mulder responds that this is not something they'll see on "beakman's world" (had to google that one but it seems to be a contemporary children's science programming of some sort. and there was a man in a rat suit playing a rat. which is absurdly funny to me. hold on NEED to get an image of him for you)

i'm. gonna fucking cry why does he look like that. need to end this line of commentary here before i start begging for explanations on what the hell was going on in the 90's

so mulder seems to think that the custodian killed his boss and all the other members of this team working on the fancy jet stuff, which we know to be true but we don't know Why. turns out our custodian, roland, is the twin brother of the head scientist, arthur, who died a few months back, and has since had his brain placed in a cryogenic freezing chamber. JUST the head!

i love when scully and mulder need a visual on what a person would look like so they go to the woman in the fbi that presses some buttons on a computer and generates a dude. it brings me pleasure to no end. then they look at the guy like :0 yup that is exactly who we are looking for. i eat it up every time.

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has two brothers, one older and one younger! (she's a middle child omg.........)

mulder thinks siblings have a psychic connection (which is actually deeply tragic if you consider his circumstances) and that the ULTIMATE psychic connection is between twins. so the twin that is currently in an icy soup is somehow connecting to the other twin to get him to kill all the other scientists and finish his research. sure. why not.

there's then a scene where mulder tries to walk in the wrong direction and scully has to correct him, which recalled him getting lost in the woods in an earlier episode i had No Positive Feelings Towards, but it does make him always driving funnier. like, can he follow a map but has no internal sense of direction? was the gps still in its early days? did he have one at all? how is he getting places? a lot of people want to know

the last remaining scientist who was not killed lowered the temperature on brain soup twin, which was stored in another part of the university campus where they worked. man my university campus has no jet propulsion wing OR brain soup section. did i get ripped off? what is my tuition even for?

anyway, the episode ends with the seeming psychic curse of soup twin being lifted from custodian twin, which we can hope to mean positive things moving forward

overall, like i said, any episode of a show from the 90's with the words "mentally challenged" in the description is bound to have aged poorly, which i am not surprised by- up there with the earlier Indigenous appropriation episode and the aforementioned episode i Shan't Name- but, we did learn things! for instance, that scully has 2 brothers (!!!), just went to a wedding where mulder teased her about maybe catching the bouquet (and also a dog bit a drummer, drop the full story time scully don't be shy), mulder believes in the psychic connection between siblings, and that there was a rat on a kid's show that was a mere man in a suit. that i'm still gonna cry laughing at.