#couldnt stay asleep more than a few hours last night

[soggypotatoes]

up at 3am having anxiety attacks when I have a really long day tomorrow and also the day after and also the day after and also.. uhh I don't have any rest days planned until January 🙃 and probably not even then bc I have to housesit for 2 different people and honestly I'm not capable of that but I can't back out of it cause neither of them will be able to find anyone else. so. killing self

[loveackermannn]

How do you think Levi sleeps next to you? Stiff as a board? Curled up against your side because you’re so warm and he subconsciously moves towards the heat? Does he allow you to cuddle him? Does he wake from nightmares often? If he can’t sleep will he lay awake stroking your side to remind himself that you’re still with him. What about things like sleep talking or sleep walking? Imagine waking up to find Levi trying to brew tea in his sleep. Standing guard by the kettle in his striped pajama bottoms and loose cotton shirt. I wonder if he hums little lullabies to help himself get to sleep. Thoughts?

☰ SLEEP A WHILE, SWEETHEART. .ೃ࿐𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

this is so so sweet i love this ask!!

levi is a very light sleeper, so even the slightest movement from you would strike him awake at any time. however, it wasn't easy to convince him to sleep in the same bed as you even when the two of you began dating. he was very much adamant that he needed to stay up to finish several documents for erwin, but you maintained your persistence – and just like that, he gave in too quickly.

you noticed how dark his undereyes have gotten and you would gently scolded him for not listening to you sooner about sleeping early. he merely grumbled into your shoulder as you tugged him along and into the shared room in which you mostly slept in – he always ended up falling asleep in his chair until a few hours had passed, you figured his posture must be horrid at this point.

so, you assisted in removing his jacket and loosening a few buttons on his dress shirt. he slipped off his cravat, setting it on his nightstand and slipped under the silky duvet to join you. he laid inches away from you, not making any effort to move closer as he didn't want to seem abrupt.

but, it was when you took his hand into your own that made him avert his eyes onto your tired features and he could feel the tension leave his body – you were just so pretty. his face softened just for you and he couldnt help but ask, "what is it?"

you lightly groaned, half awake and half asleep, muttering the last few sentences that you could manage, "you're too farrr.. come closer, it's freezing you know?"

he chuckled, hesitant and somewhat clumsy at first, "are you sure?"

"of course, my love," you confirmed, rubbing your eyes and inching yourself closer and closer to the warmth of his body.

levi tensed the moment you made full contact with his chest, not even registering the fact that this was really happening. the person he's wanted for all these years was sleeping soundly right by his side because you felt safe enough to do so. he couldn't fathom it, it almost didn't feel real.

though, when he finally moved his arms away from his sides and gently wrapped them around your limp form, it confirmed that this was real and that perhaps he could actually get a good night's rest because of you.

he looked down and upon hearing the quiet breaths that went in and out of your nose, he's never felt more at ease than he is now. he felt the corners of his lips perk up into a small smile that was only ever reserved for you, but since your eyes were closed to notice, he kept it to himself.

from then on, he cherished the nights more than he used to. he'd always been terrified of waking up from another nightmare, but with you by his side, everything seemed a little more okay. he didn't have them as frequently and instead, were replaced by dreams of where you existed in them. your warm smile that had him sinking into the ends of the earth or your tender embraces that had him cling onto the stars.

he got more than just 3 hours of sleep, eventually getting to the point where he could sleep peacefully through the night. he was truly indebted for all that you do, even if you don't realize it.

if there are some nights when he can't fall asleep for any reason, he'll just stay awake, making sure you're at least getting the rest you deserve. it's very grounding for him and it does give him the reminder that you're not going anywhere, you're still alive and well.

he'll word vomit sometimes too – conscious or not. what i mean, is that i can see him sleep talking, but only when he's having a nightmare. when he's awake and can't sleep, he'll just mutter sweet nothings into your ear about how much he loves you, it's very gentle.

"i love you. more than anything in the world, my love."

"my sweet girl. look so pretty like this.."

"for as long as i live, i'm gonna make sure nothing happens to you. i swear it."

and the concept you brought up that if he sings lullabies to help him sleep??! ugh that is just perfect, he most certainly does.

it's mainly songs that his mother used to sing back when he couldn't sleep as a child and it always seemed to work wonders for him every time. it must've been the smooth and calming tone of his mother's voice that put him to rest so easily or maybe it was the comfort it brought him to know that it wasn't all bad – that there was good in the world for him, big or small.

he'd do the same for you, if ever you can't sleep, he'll hum a little tune while you're curled up in his arms – it's a messy collection of different pitches, but nonetheless, the low rumble in his chest and soft ministrations of his hands rubbing your back is enough for you to close your eyes.

as soon as he knows your asleep, he'll kiss your forehead followed by an audible whisper that you're able to make out with the remaining bit of consciousness you had left,

"goodnight sweetheart. see you in the morning."

[soap143]

Adult

Lee! Jeongin

Ler! Chan

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

For the past few days, hell, even weeks Jeongin had a strange feeling inside his stomach and annoying thoughts that wouldnt leave his head.

Tickling was a usual thing between the group. It happened daily more than one time. But somehow, Jeongin just couldnt get used to it. He always thought a bit weirdly of tickling, but after getting closer with the boys, at least for a while, he got used to it. However they were all older now and had much more work to do. It wasnt unsual to witness multiple wreckings in the 24 hours that he would spend with his friends, but he felt like he wasnt getting as much of it. Back when he was much younger, all the members would tickle him quite often, to the point where he thought that he might hate it.

Maybe they do think I hate it?

None the less, that was far from the truth — that was exactly what Jeongin had discovered. He really enjoyed the feeling of sneaky little fingers poking his sides and scratching his neck. The poor boy would always jump and yell for the tickler to stop, never knowing how much he acctually loved it. Whats there not to like? All the attention is on you, youre laughing and making others laugh and in the end — aftercare. Perhaps all the members stopped tickling him because of much he would fight back and plead to stop? It wasnt his fault tho. He was just insanely ticklish.

He watched his band group members poke eachother over and over again, simply dying in the inside. However he knew that he couldnt be too obvious about it. Nobody likes being tickled — thats a fact that he was aware of. Its very weird. So, of course, he would never dare to speak to anyone about this.

It was incredibly hard trying not to angrily stare at Changbin and Hyunjin poking eachother while playing video games. “Youre cheating!” Changbin plaufully yelled as he grabbed a chunk of Hyunjins side and mercilessly squeezed. Hyunjin let out a yelp and grabbed his poor side. “What is wrong with you?! I’m in last place beacause of you!” At this point they werent even playing. Hyunjin was trying to get on top of the dwaeki while the victim was fighting his long fingers off.

All that was happening as the poor maknae watched. He thought of joining in, but decided to sulk for a while until someone noticed.

When he arrived into his room, he had found out that another member was already in it. “Chan hyung, what are you doing here?” No response. “Hyung, why are you here?” Jeongin came a bit closer to the laying boy, only to realize he was sound asleep. “Poor Channie, he must have been tired…” He decided to let the leader rest. He was quite exhausted himself, so he carefully wrigled and cuddled up next to Chan.

As soon as I felt someone slighly squeeze my side, I flinched awake. I had gone into Jeongins room to talk to him, but considering I stayed up until dawn last night, I fell asleep on his bed… It was quite embarassing, but he didnt seem to mind. The maknae had cuddled up next to me and was asleep. Whenever Innie has a nightmare, he tends to squeeze whatever thing was the closest to him, whether it was his pillow, blanket or… His hyung.

He is our only maknae, our little baby, and I seemed to notice him not getting as much attention as he used to. But then I remember what he had said only a couple months ago…

We had just finnished practice, it was 9 pm. All of us were exhausted because of the long day. “Lets go to Mcdonalds!” “No, Burger King!” “Accualy, Ive been craving ramen for quite a while…” Everyone was choosing what to eat, however, I noticed Innie invested in his thoughts, sitting on the floor. “Hey I.N., good practice!” “Sure…” “Whatcha wanna eat? Everyone has agreed on ramen, but what do you think?” “ Ramens fine, but Im not going to eat… I-I did pretty bad today, I think I will stay a bit more to practice that one move.” “ Oh you really dont have to, not all of us quite got that, we will rehearse that again tommorow. We woke up at 6:30 am today, lets get some rest, yeah?” “ No, I really want to master that one move”

At this point mostly everyone had gathered up next to the youngest one in the group. “Innie, lets get food, Im so hungry!” “Who cares about that move, youll get it tommorow” “Even I didnt get it, dont worry, Innie!” Jeongin was fed up. Why did he have to get all this attention when he simply wanted to stay a little more after practice? “I SAID I WANTED TO MASTER JUST THIS ONE MOVE! Please, is it that hard to get?!” Everyone suddenly got quiet. Everybody but Chan left. “That was totally uncalled for, Jeongin! We were just-“ “Looking out for me? Being careful? Wanted the best for me? Jeez! Can I get a break from YOU. You always treat me like a baby! Well guess what, Im an adult now and make my own decisions. I dont want anyone, especially you Chan, constantly babying me and treating me like Im some child who cant make disicions of his own. Now go eat your ramen, Im not even hungry anymore. Im going back to the dorms. See you later.”

After that happened, we gave Jeongin less attention and treated him more like an adult. He had had multiple outbursts like this, but this one made things clear. However, I just think that he was tired and hungry, not necessarily angry. Maybe he just needed to let some emotions out, and needed a decent reason to do so.

Anyway, I think that he liked and still likes the attention, that we obviously dont give him anymore. Which is upsetting and frustrating, seeing our maknae so sad. Even though he said that he hates the attention that we give him, I can see him sulking, especially when we have fun and leave him out. I can tell that the boys aren’t doing it on purpose, theyre just doing what he wanted. But I can tell how much Innie misses being the little baby of the group.

Suddenly, I felt I.N. start moving around and wake up. “Hi Chan Hyung.” “Hello, Innie-ah” “Did I wake you up? I had a nightmare so I suspect I did… Sorry.” “It’s alright, I fell asleep in your bed when I was supposed to talk to you.” “What did you want to talk about, hyung?” I could tell by his voice that he was scared. “ Dont be afraid, its nothing bad.” “Oh. Well, tell me anyway” “Sorry if I offend you, but did you mean it? That you hate our attention and are sick of being babied? Because Ive been observing you and you dont seem any happier than when we treated you like our baby.” “Um… I guess I just feel more like an adult now.” “Do you like that?” I was met with silence. “Answer me Innie, please.” I.N. didnt seem like he was going to answer my question, so I decided to bring out the big guns. I had always known that our baby bread hated being tickled, but a little bit could never hurt. I gave him one last chance before diving in. At first I just pinned him down with both my arms. “Nohohoho, plehehease Channie Hyung!” he giggled in anticipation. “ One last chance, Jeongin~~ Do you acctually like it when we don’t give you attention? Or do you prefer to get babied like a little baby~~. Little baby bread…~~” I knew he couldn’t take any teases considering his red ears, face and neck. “Little I.N. baby bread, foxy baby cutie~” I lowered my face and whispered, pressing my lips against his neck. “Chahahahahnnie hyuAHAHAHA” he laughed harder as I nibbled and blew raspberries on his most vulnerable and ticklish spot. “ Answer my question or move to the next spot?” “Ahahnswer question, answer question! Pleheahase no more…!” “ Alright then, tell me, do you like being treated like the big adult you are?” “…Yes?” “Wrong!.” I yelled into his neck. “NOHOHOHO pleasepleasepleasechanniehyung listen to meee! You don’t have to do this, Im beggingbeggingbegging yoUHUHUUU” I pinned both his arms above his head and swiched to poking and squeezing his armpits. “CHAHAHAN PLEHEAHEHEASE LISTEN TO MEEEE! I HAHAHAHVE SOMETHIHIHING TO TELL TOU!!” “Oh yeah? Perhaps that youre so ticklish that you cant handle it?~” “ SERIUOSLY! SEHEHERIUOSLY PLEAEHEHESE!” I stoped for real this time. “Okay so you caught me. I do acctually like your attention and dont enjoy being treated like an adult as much as I thought I would, there, I said it!” “Please tell me what is true, not some lie you made up because you dont want to be tickled… I wont tickle you anymore, I promise!”

He promised he wouldnt tickle me. But oh, how much I wanted him to keep going… Curse my hyper sensitive body. “No, it is the truth, I have been a little upset lately” “Well, Im glad that you confessed to me. Can I tell the others?” “ Yeah, that would be great. Im too embarassed to tell them myself anyway…” “Alright then. Rest up! I hope I didnt tire you out much… Sorry for tickling you, I know that you hate it…” Now is the perfect time “Acctually, I have something else to tell you…” He fully turned his whole body to me. Goah, I hate him so much. Why has he got to put me in such vulnerable position? “ I… accualy, its nothing…” not today, not when hes got full attention on me like that. “NO! Tell me, pleaseeeee! Dont make me tickle it out of you again~~” That made me extra scared and all my courage was gone. “I-Its accualy about that…” “What? Tickling?” “Yeah…” “Sorry, I promised I wouldnt tickle you anymore. You dont have to tell me aswell, take your time.” Gosh, can he stop saying the word? Hes so sweet its annoying. “No, I-I want to tell you now. And it is about… T-tickling.” He did that thing again, where he turned his whole body and soul to me, it was scary. Seemed like he could hear my heartbeat. “Well, I… acctually dont hate it. I like it a lot. But I cant take it. And s-sometimes youre a bit too rough.” “Oh…” “Sorry, you probably think Im disgusting or something. I promise its nothing dirty or naughty like your probably thi-“ “ No! None of that! Even though I wouldve never guessed that you like it… I dont find it disgusting, at all. Its cute, very cute acctually.” “You think so?” “Of course! Now, prepare yourself because you basically just asked to be tickled.” He definetly knew how much I dreaded that word and was taking advantage of it. “Beg.” “What?” “Beg to be wrecked by your favourite tickle monster.” At this point I was probably as red as a tomato. “P-please t…t-tickle me…” “Good enough” He lowered his head and started nibbling on my lower stomach and I lost it. He was beeing painfully gentle, probably remembering me pointing out his roughness. I grabbed on his hair and desperately pulled. “Ow ow ow ow OW! Innie, youre gonna have to keep your arms further away from me!” He grabbed my arms and pulled them to my sides.” Keep them there. Now, you understand that Im going to have to pusnish you, yeah?” “Buhuhut I cant keep my arms there!” “I dont care, if you dont, Ill be more gentle” I liked it gentle, but not too gentle, and Gosh did Chan know how to get extra gentle. It would be so painful, worse than rough tickles, which says a lot. So, I try to keep my arms in place as he nibbles the sensitive skin on my abdomen.

He was doing pretty good, too good at holding his arms in place, giggling hysterically, but keeping himself pretty still. “CHAHAHAHAHAN HYUHUHUUHNG PLEHEHEHEHAHEHHEAHSE” He begged and grabbed my hair again. Succes. Raspberries always get him. “Oh no! Was I being too rough? I should be more gentle, yeah? Thats ok, Ill be more gentle~” I loved teasing Innie so much, he would always get so red and shy. I knew I was being mean, taking advange of his weaknesa- rought tickles and using againts him, but in a much more flustering way. He hates rough tickle because he cant take much of them, but extremely gentle tickles are much more agonazing — its just constant anticipation and fear. I start off incredibly gently right in the middle of his stomach “Chahahaniehehe pleheheahahse!” I gently drag my finger around his navel, never bothering to acctually dip it in. I know how much he hates(loves) it. I slowly drag my finger along his side and onto his ribs “ChahaAHAnieEHEhe hyUHUHuhung” He giggles more agressively as I gently poke my finger deeper into his flesh every few seconds. I know how much hes waiting for me to just wreck him. Ive been saving up his energy for the grand finale. “Ready I.N?” “YEHEHES please!” I poke him a couple more times before finnaly diving in. “OHOHOHO MAHAHA GOHOHOD CHAHAHAANA AHAHHAHSNSBA” I start by squeezing his sides rapidly. I switch spots quickly purely for his enjoyment. “CHAHAHAHAN!!” “ Yes, Innie baby bread?~” I ask as I count his ribs, while he desperately tries to stop his arms from disturbing me “GEHEHEHET MY LEHEHEGSS HAHAHA” I can tell that he cant take it for much longer, thats why wants me to switch spots quickly. His thighs are incredibly sensitive, so I start of with them, mercilessly squeezing the firm mucle behind his leg and the front of it, switching quickly so that he can expierience as much joy as quickly as he can. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA KNEHEHEHHES PLEAAAHSHEJDJJEJHA” I quickly listen to his command and rapidly attack his kneecaps, squeezing the top and back at the same time. “STOPSTOPSTOP ENOUGHAHAHAHAHAH” I inmeadiately stop and gently, but not gently enought to torture him rub his whole body. His cute dimply smile plastered on his face that I missed so much. “Anytime you want to repeat this, just tell me the keyword “tickle”, if youre capable of that~~” He was still laying there, panting, but I could see his cheeks reddening up at my words. “I will make sure to…” He whispers shyly. I figured that he may need a moment to think about what happened, so I quietly exited the room.

This was the most flustering yet enjoyable expierience ever. However if he dares to tell anyone about this…

Maybe it wouldnt be so bad, considering all the gang tickles I would get.

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

This is my first tickle fic ever. I know the build up is very long, sorry. 🙂

[bloodycassian]

Tender - Azriel x reader - Pregnancy fic. Fem! reader. LONG!!! 

Prompt -  Hi! I just read most of your imagines, and i loved them!  You have me as your faithful follower, I don't comment much because English is not my first language. Could you write one where az manages to perceive that reader is pregnant right in the middle of the war?

You woke to yelling. Not screaming. Not fear or pain, but battle cries that you'd grown to love. They made your blood sing in harmony with the Illyrian voices. It made your heart hammer in your chest, and your muscles tense - ready to fight. Azriel groaned beside you, curling around your waist like a vise. You managed to break free from his muscled arms. Pale light shining through the tent tinted his shadows a light gray. They wrapped around you, drawing a chill down your spine. The war cries grew louder. "Get up. It's time." You shook him, pulling on your light armor. He covered his face with his hands, and did not leave the cot. He groaned again when you pulled the blanket off his mostly naked body. He was never a morning person.  Cassian rushed in when you were putting the last of your gear on, and Az froze. His grip on his pants went white knuckled. Cassian's face was pale, and before he could say anything Azriel was hurriedly pulling on the rest of his clothes. Your stomach dropped at the sight of the Warlord. "It's a diversion." You said, voice hollow. Cassian's slight nod was enough to make the breath leave you. "It's going to be fine." Azriel grunted, pulling his tunic over his head. "We just need to move the troops. Get Rhys here." He waved a hand at his brother dismissively.  Cassian grabbed Az's wrist.  He forced the male to look at him, to see his worried eyes. You tensed, ready to defend your mate even against Cassian's might. "Rhys is on the battlefield already. We're on our own." His voice was low, and the warning in his eyes was enough to make the hair on your arms raise. Azriel pulled away from him, slowly.  He began strapping his weapons belts on, pushed his hair back and sighed. "Where do you need us?"   The air was cold, and the howls of battle echoed across the hills. Azriel's shadows curled around your legs, comforting. Then they slithered their way across the valley where the battle was beginning.  + You could barely raise your sword by the end of it. The mud had been the most challenging part of the entire fight. The enemy horses had done a good job of making obstacles when they fell in the mud, lame with broken ankles and necks. You wished to put them out of their misery, but there was no time. The forces seemed to come in waves. Like a test against your small unit.  Few were lost from your side. The dewey grass steamed in the morning light, carrying up the reek of enemy blood with it. You wiped your face, trying to get the taste of dirt and blood out of your mouth. Sharp stinging pain seared your ribs under your arm. You hissed. Then, you felt the warmth of your own blood. You swore, and looked for a medic that wasn't tending to wounded on the ground.  Some Illyrian bodies were being lifted away, high into the air for burial at their homes. You dared not take a healer away from more critically injured soldiers. You nodded grimly to the ones that you passed. They were covered in blood, and yet still gave you fierce grins when you went by. They respected you. More than any other Illyrian Female before you. It was sad, but you hoped to forge a new path for other females of Illyria. You held an arm under your side and limped your way out of the mud. The packed mess inside your boots made moving your feet hard. You couldn't wait to shower.  You spotted Cassian far down the field, and watched as he raised his sword high over his head. Your stomach twisted in pity for the suffering animal under him. You looked away before you could see the lifeblood drain from the horse's neck. He sent a blessing to the Mother for the animal, and continued on to the next suffering soul that would meet its end via his blade.  + You hadn't seen her in a long while. Too long for a friend, but she gave you that same look she always did when she saw you hobbling up to her for help. Jeva was your favorite healer, and one you knew could keep a secret. She was round, and her voice was light and comforting. She smelled of nutmeg and berries. Something you had appreciated about her since you had met. "What is it this time?" She waved you inside, holding the tent flap open for you while you dumped your battle stained gear on the wood hutch beside the entrance.  The tent was light and airy, filled with small plants of different varieties and cluttered with boxes and books everywhere. Her desk and bed were shoved to the corner, and a long wood table took up the majority of her area. As if she had known you were coming, she already had potions of different types laid out on the end of the table. "Probably nothing." You said, pulling off your armor as gingerly as you could manage. The soft light flickered and changed to a harsh beam when she laid you down on her exam table. "I'm not supposed to be healing anymore you know. I'm retired." She clicked her tongue at you, earning a pained grin. It was hard for you to bother a healer for any amount of time for something that you were sure was so small. But something about it stung too much for it to be just a scrape. And you knew Cassian would lecture you about it being infected if he saw through your mask to the pain. Az would force you to see one anyway as soon as he learned of it.  "You know I wouldnt be here unless I had to be, Jeva." You said through your teeth as she cut away your muddied undershirt.  "Oh, I know. That's why I have my best potions ready." She laughed, then paused. Your shirt lay limp on the table. Her eyebrows knitted together at the sight of your open wound. "Is it bad?" You asked, craning to try to look for yourself. She held you down.  "Metal. Fragments are still in here, likely why it hasn't healed yet." You relaxed at that, grateful that it wasn't worse. "Thank the Mother. Az would have yelled all night." You rolled your eyes, and sighed as she started working on you. The first part was always the worst. The stinging hot potion that made the nerves around the wound numb.  "One-" She began her countdown, then poured. You growled at her, gripping the end of the stained table hard enough to crack. "Easy..." She warned, and smoothed down your hair. She knew how to take care of her patients, that was certain. You relaxed as the stinging eased. The dull ache that it left behind turned into a bad memory.  "I'm going to extract the blade then we can close you up. Simple and easy." She picked up her tools and began tugging away at your side. You could have fallen asleep with the relief the numbing potion brought. And with her humming in the air around you, it was a struggle not to. The time seemed to pass quickly, but when the clank of the metal tools jolted you from your dozing, the tent was lit in orange from the sunset outside. "Relax, we're going to close it up now. Once the potion wears off you will still be sensitive." She placed her hands over you, and the familiar warm vibrations of her healing magic set in. Then it stopped abruptly. You cracked open an eye, then narrowed your brows at her. "What is it?" You said gently, then again when she didnt reply. She stared at you, mouth agape. Her eyes locked to yours, even when you sat up to demand she tell you what the problem was. "Am I dying?!" you took her hand gently, in case she was going to push you away.  Then she started laughing, her hand gripping yours back. The warmth glowed in your palm, the light radiating out from it was starkly contrasting the tent walls bedecked in orange. The light she emitted shot through you, and you felt the wound tingle, and seal. You stared at her in shock. That amount of healing power was incredible. Especially for field medics.  "Youre not dying, no..." She waved a hand, fanning herself. Her eyes were glassy with tears. She sniffed and clutched your hand tighter. "Quite the opposite, darling." She pulled you in for a warm hug.  + You spent the rest of the evening with Jeva. Until she got a hurried message about student healers needing help on the battlefield. You stayed in her tent as long as you could manage with the ringing in your ears. You stared and stared at the mirror across from you, showing you the bloodied warrior that you wanted to be. That you wanted to stay.  The warrior that carried the Shadowsinger's child.  The thought made tears sting your eyes. You refused to let them fall. You had been ignoring his tugs down the bond for well over an hour. You knew he was concerned, but you couldn't bring yourself to shout back down. The only thing that echoed in your mind were Jeva's words "You're pregnant..."  Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.  You nearly punched her when she told you she wasn't joking. The only reason you even believed her was because of that powerful zap of healing she sent to you. That she sent to scan your body and make sure the fetus was okay before you even knew about it. You could barely hear half the words she said as she told you your options.  You roiled with the thought now. The Mugwart she left on the table was daunting. You desperately wanted her back. Jeva would be able to deliberate with you. You knew she would tell you to do whatever makes you happy. You knew that. But you wondered how ethical the choice that made you happy was. Bringing a child into a world of war seemed cruel. Even if it made you happy. You distantly noticed Azriel as you passed him, walking to the forest edge just passed your tent. Worry laced the bond between you. You tried not to show anything back. But you knew he felt the tension, the void there. "Where the hell have you been?!" Azriel's eyes were furious when you passed him, his wings flared out slightly. You couldnt even look at him with anger back. Your emotions ran wild. You were frozen, and as numb as the potion Jeva had given you when she began removing the blade.  "Do you know how worried I have been?! I sent Cassian to-" He tried to grab for your hand to stop you, but you flicked him away. He stopped for a moment, stunned. Then returned with more energy than before. That yawning abyss in your bond was growing darker with shame, worry and anxiety. His shadows roiled around him as he caught up. "You dont get to-" "Azriel..." You stopped in the edge of the clearing. The small meadow was silent in the darkness, not even the monsters of Prythian dared roar tonight. Your mind did all the roaring you could handle, anyway. You tried to focus on the swaying grass, on the soft smell of wet bark and pine hanging in the air.  "Dont try to excuse this I need to know you're okay and-" He stormed in front of you, ready to burst with rage. His fear always made him angry. And for good reason after losing so many close to him.  A tear ran down your cheek, your face burned hot with hundreds of feelings at once. Fear, pain, shock, joy, hope.... elation. You wanted his children. You wanted to help raise his child. You wanted to see Azriel be a father. You knew he would be the best damn Illyrian father there had ever been.  The thought hit you like a well placed punch.  He saw your paleness, your tears and stopped his yelling. You fell to your knees, the mud splattering all around you. You wanted to lay down. Lay down and think about the implications of carrying his child. Would it be good for the baby to be born at all? Just because you wanted it didnt mean it needed to happen. You knew that Jeva would give you a potion to extract it without hesitation if it was what you wished. "I'm-" You choked out, fighting the panic that flooded you. Your mind roiled with the conflict of your mind and heart. It turned you into a muddied, dark ocean on the bond. A turmoil that he couldn't see past. If you were an ocean, he was your lighthouse on the cliffside. Signaling you home.   His eyes darted to your body, to your hands and how they wrung together in front of you. "I'm sorry. I just-" He sighed and took one of your hands. "I'm sorry." He kissed the back of it and brought his forehead to yours. He normally needed a lot longer to cool down after a fight, but seeing you in tears shocked him out of his pride. "I shouldn't have said that... I know you can take care of yourself." his voice was low, and he ran a hand comfortingly down your back. A hysteric laugh bubbled from your throat. It sounded like a sob. You didn't know exactly which it was. He sat back and pulled you into his lap, despite the grass being dewey and damp. He rocked you there for a few seconds before you had to tell him. Before he could be too close if he didnt want you anymore. The doubt crept into your head, and the nerves ate at you. Your heart raced, you could feel it in your neck. "Azriel..stop." You pushed away from him, to catch his beautiful dark eyes. They were painted in a silver hue by the moon above. You took in his face, the curve of his cheeks and lips for possibly the last time. You had to consider the worst possible outcome. You braced yourself for the rejection, for the pain of his reaction. You knew it had to come out. You knew you had to say it now or you never would. Your stomach flipped over and over.  You opened your mouth, a soft sob wracking out of you before you began. He froze. Went utterly still, his shadows even stopping for a second before whirling faster than before. Your eyes went wide. His nose flared, eyes narrowed. He held you closer, sniffing at your neck. He pulled back and his eyes were even wider than before. His mouth fell open when you nodded. "I'm-" "Youre-" his face went through a whirlwind of different emotion. Then, he broke out into a small laugh. He couldn't stop. You felt the tears running down your cheeks and didnt bother to wipe them away. "Honey... I'm sorry." He stopped laughing suddenly. "What do you want to do?" His eyes were masked, his expression the most serious you'd ever seen him. His aura on your bond seemed to go completely gray and still, as if he didn't want you to see him. He masked everything. In preparation for whatever you decide. The gesture made your heart squeeze in appreciation. You stammered, resting your forehead on his. "I dont know." You muttered, voice cracking. Then, he was wrapping his arms around you in a smothering hug. When he pulled away, he cradled your face in his hands. The hands that had seen so much cruelty in his life. The possibilities of the same thing happening to your child made your heart race. "I'm here for whatever decision you make." He brushed your cheek with a thumb. You nodded and let him hold you like that for a while. Quietly rocking back and forth with you in his lap. + You were near falling asleep when the war cries rang out again. Illyrians howling for their leaders to join them. Another onslaught of death coming their way. The calls were distant, but Azriel tensed the second he heard them. Your blood went cold. He buried his face to your chest, as if he wished he could hide there. "I'm not going." He said when you tried pushing him away. "I wont leave you." He promised, locking his muscled forearms around you. The echoes of battle cries faded. He stroked your hair, and traced his fingers along your back. Then he swore. "Let me take care of this." He said, voice edged with anger. Nerves pricked at your stomach, but you stood, wobbling on your feet slightly. He took off into the night sky painted in silvers and blues by the full moon. Then came racing back down right behind Rhys. the high lord took one breath and then he was hugging his brother. Azriel shoved him off, and they shot into the night sky. Well, Azriel did. He dragged Rhys with him. Grunts of pain and fleshy sounds of punching rang out.  You followed them high into the air where they had their conversation. Your wings led you around them with ease. "Stop fighting and use your words, boys." You warned. You recognized Azriels growl and smiled to yourself as they broke apart. Rhys adjusted his tunic and cleared his throat. "I need you there. Cassian is handling the Western front, the others need a leader."  Azriel began protesting against the high lord. "I cant with my mate-" "I know it feels impossible right now but-" "I will not, Rhys-" You set your jaw. If they wanted to fight over if you needed protection or not, you would take the option off the table all together. "I'll go." you said, voice strong since hearing Jeva announce what grew inside you. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. You shoved the thoughts away as far as you could. They both turned to you, horror striking Azriels features. "Absolutely not. No." Heat and rage flared down the bond. It made you want to defy everything he said. You locked eyes with him and glared. Rhys glanced between you with tense shoulders. He cleared his throat. "It would be a good compromise, Azriel. You can go together to the Eastern front. Think about it." He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder and gave him a grim smile.  "I wont say a word." He said, summoning the darkness around him then winnowing away. Azriel's cold eyes made him look like a statue. "Let's go." He said, and started circling lower. Back to the meadow.  "I'm going, you cant stop me from following you." You said, expecting a fight. He said nothing. You were met with that silence that drove others crazy tryin to find out what he wanted from them. The bond seemed to snap taut, then go into a relaxed state. He was hiding. You knew it, but would rather have silence and peace than him trying to fight you again.  He walked you back to the tent, and exhaustion took you under before you could remember him laying down with you. You hoped it it was exhaustion, and not whatever the baby was doing to you. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't resist the urge to cradle your belly while you slept. There was no bump, but it felt like the most natural thing to do now that you were aware of the being inside you. You slept hard, and awoke to the breakfast bell chiming. The sounds of slow footsteps marching through the mud kept you awake. Azriel was gone, but the candle on the table was lit. A note lay there waiting for you. His messy scrawl made you smile, the familiarity of his writing reminded you of the notes he would leave you when he had to leave early for meetings with Rhys. "Back by nightfall, lover. A guard is at the tent, ask her to bring you anything you need. -A" You peeked outside the tent to see Jeva there, her long fur coat shimmering in the morning light. Her breath clouded in front of her when she gave you a soft smile. "Good morning." She pulled a muffin from her coat. "Your favorite." She winked, and you pulled her inside. She had a fire roaring by the time you finished your food. "How are you not freezing?" She complained, blowing into her hands to keep them warm. You brushed the crumbs from your shirt and really took into account the changes you'd noticed lately. How hungry you'd been, how tired after the easiest days.  "Do you know... How um..." You gestured to your stomach. She gave a small smile and nodded. "Only a month or so." She said quietly. You stared at your stomach, as if waiting for something to answer you. To give some sort of affirmation that Jeva was right. She continued warming herself by the fire, and soon the tent was filled with her warm chestnut smell. Cassian entered the tent when you were starting to doze off again. The wool blanket on your lap reminded you of a time when you first met Az. Your heart squeezed at the memory of those long nights shared together by a fire. Taking your turns on watch duty. You shook yourself from the memory. Cassian froze. His face scrunched up at the sight of you. The scent, you realised. You swore to yourself, and Jeva only nodded when he looked to her. "Youre pregnant?" He asked breathlessly, and you could smell the fear and excitement coming from him. In fact, you could smell the smoked meat on his breath. And the cold air that clung to him from outside. It was refreshing, like a cool drink on a hot day amid the dry heat inside the tent. "I'm sorry, I shouldnt have.." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to remain focused.  "Its okay, Cass. What's going on? Az left me this note." You handed it to him. His lips moved as he read it. He went white as bone. Your stomach dropped.  + Azriel had gone in the night to take out the entire eastern flank with a small group of Illyrians. You felt your world skittering away as Cassian told you. Your vision went blurry, and tears fell, dripping on your hands that clenched the wool blanket.  "He's on his way here now. He had to answer to Rhys first."  Cassian waited for you to say anything. But your lips just couldnt form the words. The hurt, anger... the betrayal you felt for him going to battle without you. And defying a direct order from his high lord like a fool. "I suggest you leave before Azriel comes back. It may get messy." Jeva spoke for you, and you were grateful. You gave Cassian a nod of thanks before he turned and left. The cold wind that blew in from the door gave you goosebumps.  "Take it easy, you dont want to be too stressed." Jeva handed you a mug of tea and gave you a small squeeze. You could smell Azriel before he entered. Jeva shot him a glare, but said nothing. "I'll be in my tent if you need me." She promised, gave you a look that said 'find me after' and left. Azriel took off his armor plates one by one. A bit too slowly to be considered normal. Stalling. You said nothing. You let the tension roil out of you, let it hit him down the bond. Like a wave getting ready to break. He rolled his shoulders, stretched his wings.  The mask he wore cracked when he saw your fists balled in the blanket. "I couldnt risk you... or the babe." He tried to hide the fear that shone through. The fear of his mate or child being hurt in battle. He wouldnt be able to stand it. The fight was needed, anyway. He needed to get out his instincts to protect protect protect.  You said nothing. You let that looming wave grow larger. He sighed, and sat at the end of the cot beside you. "I'm sorry. I needed....I needed to get my head straight. I should have told you. I'm sorry." That wave crashed, not on him though. Internally, guilt and fear melting in on yourself. "I cant lose you, we... We cant." You said through your teeth, trying to hold back the tears that begged to spill over. He tried his best to hold back his surprise. "We?" He asked, a small smile playing on his full lips.  You gave him a grim smile. "If you're...ready to be a father. I like imagining you, with my child."  "Our child." He said with a bubbling laugh. You laughed with him, and it turned to hysterics.  He wiped tears from the corner of your eyes. "We're going to have a baby?" He cradled your face, looking into your eyes. You took one of his hands, and placed it on your flat belly. "Yes. We are." You said, voice quivering.  He wrapped you into a hug, and you cried together in the cot. 

[symphonicmetal101]

Over-Tired OM Boys HCs

Here's the initial thing that got me started thinkin bout the boys, but here ya go-

Lucifer

- this man, once he hits overtired, is extremely gullible, which is why he locks himself in his office until hes done what needs to be done

- also cannot keep a train of thought for more than 20 seconds and it drives him nuts

- and then he loses his focus even more because he's upset

- you tried knocking on the door once, and told him when you closed your eyes, you couldnt see and needed to go to the doctor

- man went from frustrated to concerned in a heartbeat, only after opening the door realizing how foolish he had just come across

- but now the door was open and you had access to him, and reluctantly he let you drag him to bed

- Will deny it ever happened, and if you bring it up, expect a punishment.

- Though he is grateful you made him rest so he would not become the laughingstock of his brothers

Mammon

- over tired bby will ramble until he forgot what he was talking about and space out for a solid ten seconds before snapping back

- it doesnt matter if you're listening intently or only half listening, he makes no sense what so ever.

- If you can record him without him noticing you (which is easy to do in this state) and play it back once he's rested he's either facepalming and blushy for the nonsense he spewed or he managed to pick out what he may have been trying to say and gets super excited, going off on another more understandable tangent.

- Gaming is a priority

Levi

- Sleeping is not

- Levi usually ends up just tired, not wired but dear lord when he does-

- All that energy and passion he pours into the way he speaks about anime and manga?

- Its physical now...oh and hes slightly more extroverted

- Though its a rare sight, over tired Levi works out and rambles about whatever it was that made him stay up that long, and hes doing it all in your room

Satan

- Over tired Satan is a rare sight, though it happens often, as he holes up in his room

- He gets an impulse to clean, and will tidy and clean and organize his books, though it never lasts

- and theres no escape, he will start crying if he feels you arent paying attention or if you're about to leave

- Depending on who you are, he either becomes 10000000% testier, or hes a giggly mess, there is no in between

Asmo

- Finds everything funny, but will get pouty if it came from someone he doesnt really like

- Over tired Asmo is rare, likely the rarest of all the boys to see, save for Barbatos

- but he is a chaotic little fucker

- dear god

- He will raid the fridge and pantry worse than Beel, specifically when hes on a diet-

- Then MC you're either in for one hell of a story from Asmo, most of them his not-so-proud drunk moments that he never talks about for that reason but he cant stop himself-

-his laugh sounds even more high pitched than normal, and a little maniacal, and he finds everything he says hilarious

- you will go on an adventure probably

Beel

- spaces out randomly, and also cries easily, dont point this put to him and say yes to his adventures, he'll change his mind a thousand times on the way- just go with it

- overtired Beel happens quite a bit, usually after the victory of a game and the adrenaline starts to wear off- and then he still has stuff to do

- but instead of "oh" and maybe a small laugh when he realizes what happened its more ".....oh" and then he looks like he's having an existential crisis

- you will have to physically lead him to bed after that, he's too busy thinking and slowly eating whatever is in his hand

- he snacks to keep himself awake, and poor himbo man is even more gullible than usual

- will want to cuddle, but wont ask when hes like this

Belphie

- out like a bulb immediately

- The Avatar of Sloth? Over tired? yes it happens unfortunately-

- He gets even grumpier than usual because he can’t sleep

- Then at night its just restless tossing and turning

- yes even the seemingly flawless butler gets overtired, but opposite of Asmo, he is far better at concealing it

- Usually happens when he intentionally sleeps through important meetings and days for Lucifer back to back to back

- It’s another excuse to hold you though, so he might make himself over tired more often

Barbatos

- You will see him stifle yawns

- And when given instructions, his eyes widen slightly with concentration as he whispers the instructions over and over under his breath so nobody can hear, but its clear his lips are moving

- he cannot be bribed

- he can be intimidated though, and how you ask?

- “threaten” to go tell Beel or Dia because you know full well if they were asked, they would carry Barb back to his quarters if you can’t do so on your own-

- no he will not sleep

- Usually that’s enough to convince him, but you have to stay near to make sure he doesn’t leave until he’s well-rested, otherwise he’ll leave as soon as possible and try to get back to work

- buuuut if you’re “on guard” or in bed with him- well he might have a few extra minutes or hours to spend with you

Diavolo

- overtired Diavolo is rather rare, as Barbatos is very strict with the prince's schedule

- Still though if Diavolo truly wants to keep going...all Barb can do is prepare for the future

- Which uh...just means being able to drag the prince to his quarters

- If you thought he was lively before, being overtired is kinda like giving caffiene to a squirrel for him

- Until he suddenly crashes....which, depending on how you like his company, can be unfortunate as his kick can last for hours

Simeon

- Simeon goes into zombie mode when he's overtired

- He hates to admit it, but it tales every oumce of strength to not fall asleep in the middle of classes

- Not that Luke would let him

- He's a little dazy, a little slow, but even just a power nap gets the angel going again

Luke

- Babie boy, don't stay up with the big kids-

- an overtired ten year old follows a certain progression

- grumpy, denial in need of sleep, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatterbox, chatt- oh he fell asleep in the middle of his sentence

- will not acknowledge anything in the morning, even as he walks out of his bedroom instead of the random place he slept, instead carrying on the conversation he left half finished the night before

Solomon

- hah

- he has spells

- who needs sleep?

- bastard also pushes himself too far, but disguises it with more ease than anyone else, at least until its just the two of you

- He tends to run his hand through his hair more often, fidgets more

- hes a little jumpy too, so continue with caution if you dont want to be turned into a frog-

Anyways, I know its been a hot minute since I posted anything really uh...substantial? I guess this will have to do?? I'm going to be travelling for a bit, so I apologize for slow updates, also dont have the patience to make a queue

Thank y'all for supporting me anyways, it means a lot!! Keep an eye out for the next OC Hunger Games~

Love ya!!

Masterlist

[literaila]

a void on your side of the bed. 

loki x gn!reader 

summary: loki is feeling lonely. and guilty about that. 

here was the thing:

loki tried not to ask for too much. he tried to be the perfect partner, the perfect person just for you.

he didnt complain when you wanted to sleep in, or when he was supposed to make you breakfast (he enjoyed doing that). he wasnt upset when you asked him to ‘clean up’ around the house, or when you refused to buy him any more ice cream.

he tried to eliminate any problems-- never been done before by the god of mischief --he might cause before they even appeared, and tried to give you anything and everything you might want.

it wasnt a hard task, actually. he liked the feeling in his chest when you smiled at him, when you were grateful for his help or when he surprised you with something that made your life just a little bit better. he liked taking care of you, causing less trouble than before.

but. it was really hard not to complain when you werent paying attention to him.

when you needed space for just a bit too long for his liking. when he felt like an interruption every time he attempted to make any small talk with you, and you sighed-- almost reluctantly --before turning to him.

he knew you were busy, and he knew that you wanted to get as much work done as you could during the day. he just didnt like it.

he didnt like not conversing with you during the day, not cuddling with you on the couch during lunch while you snacked on something beside him. he didnt like leaving you alone until it was nine o’clock at night and you looked like you were contemplating murder.

he felt lonely. and he just missed you.

and, gods, he was really trying not to complain.

he was really trying not to make this a bigger struggle for you by stealing any of your time. he knew how hard you were working, knew that it drained all the life out of you by the end of the day, knew that the last thing you needed was him telling you that he was upset.

he was used to not sharing his emotions, to building up walls and keeping all his thoughts locked in. but usually, he didnt have to do that with you.

it was all looking up for loki when the week was coming to a slow end. friday night, he felt excited to get you back for at least two days, to steal all the time he could from you before you got annoyed of him. he got his usual smirk back when you came out of your office friday night, giving him a soft smile as you headed to the bedroom.

this was it, he knew. tomorrow morning, he wasnt going to let you leave bed until at least noon.

he fell asleep that night, arms tucked around you, lips smiling against your head, with thoughts of the next day filling his dreams.

so, when he woke up in the morning, colder than usual, a void where you were laying in his arms, it wasnt surprising that he was feeling more upset than before.

disappointment was a violent emotion.

still, he walked out of the room with some hope left, that maybe you were just drinking coffee and eating breakfast while you waited for him.

that hope disappeared when he heard the familiar click-clacking from the room you had proclaimed was your office.

you were working. again. and loki was alone. again.

he felt a groan building up in his chest, a terrible feeling filling him as he listened for your breathing. he knew it was madness to miss you this much when you were only a door away, but he wasnt used to spending days away from you.

he reminded himself that you were right there with a bitter laugh.

he was trying not to be angry or disappointed with you, he knew that it wasnt fair to put you at the end of the blame when you didnt even know how he was feeling and that it wasnt fair for him to want you to stay with him of every second of every day. to ask for so much.

he turned toward the bedroom again and tried to drown his emotions in reading.

it wasnt really working, but at least when he was this far away from you he didnt feel like you were ignoring him.

at around noon, after hours of re-reading the same chapter over and over again and illusioning himself as his brother and throwing a fake hammer around, he finally decided that you needed lunch, at least. he decided that bringing lunch was a perfectly acceptable thing for a significant other to do.

(and hopefully, it wouldnt annoy you too much)

“my love,” he called, knocking on the door. “i’ve brought you sustenance”

you replied a quick ‘come in!’ and loki put a smile on his face, walking in the room deviously and grinning down at you in your chair.

“thank you, loki,” you whispered, kissing his cheek when he leaned to place the plate on your desk, rubbing a hand down his arm when you looked back at the screen in front of you.

loki tried not to preen too much at the touch.

“how are you, love?” he asked, bending down to stare at the screen with you. he didnt understand anything about it, but it was still fun to pretend. to include himself with you.

“oh, tired,” was all you said as you leaned over to type something yet again. loki frowned at your words and focused his attention on your face instead.

you looked perfectly normal, perfect and normal, he supposed. your eyes were bright and your face was blank, but still, loki was worried over your words.

“maybe you could take a break for lunch then?” he asked, bringing a hand to your face and tracing your jawline with his thumb. he was trying to sound casual, to not let the hope that you might concede slip.

“i wish i could,” you sighed and looked over at him with a smile, taking the hand that was on your face and placing a gentle kiss on his palm. he froze under the attention. “thank you, sunshine, for lunch. i adore you,” you kissed him again, and turned away.

his hand was still in the air, left behind.

your words were sweet. exactly what loki wanted to hear, really, but he heard the unspoken dismissal of his presence. he knew this was your way of asking him to leave, even if you didnt realize it.

he wanted to plead with you to let him stay.

he stood up instead, not letting the sigh escape his lips in the room with you, and headed toward the door. he touched the doorknob, feeling all the emotions building up in his chest. making their way through his body like a stampede.

it was all very much for him. this disappointment that he could barely hide anymore. the loneliness he knew he had to return to in the other room.

before he realized it, the words were slipping from his lips.

“have i done something wrong?” his usual teasing tone was there, his usual indicator for dramatics, but when you looked at him the look on his face was much more serious than his tone.

you frowned immediately, and loki scolded himself. “quite the opposite really, sweets. you just brought me lunch?”

“right, of course.” he nodded to go, but you stopped him.

“is there something wrong, loki?” you were turned towards him completely, concern tainting both your face and your tone. loki felt terrible like he shouldn’t have said anything at all.

he tried to put on a smile. “no, darling.”

but you werent easy to trick, he knew, and you scowled at him. “loki.” you were staring at him with your intimidating eyes now, only slightly soft because you were worried. even to a god, it was scary.

reluctantly, he nodded. avoiding your eyes now.

“come sit, sunshine,” you said, gesturing to the couch next to your desk. loki could hear the concern more now, stronger. he winced and took a seat.

after a few moments of silence and loki looking at the wall with furrowed eyebrows, you spoke first. “whats wrong?”

he sighed, feeling silly. you were supposed to be working and he was interrupting that with childish emotions that he could deal with himself. but still, he couldnt help but feel grateful at your asking.

“we havent been spending as much time together recently and..” he stopped, still avoiding his eyes to run a hand through his hair. “i suppose i’m feeling a bit..excluded? or maybe lonely?” he winced, sighed, looked like the perfect definition of regret. “i dont know” he said, almost silent.

but while loki was feeling ridiculous, you were looking upon him with something similar to horror in your eyes. terror at the thought of hurting him.

you were well aware that you’d been working more, the exhaustion every night made sure of it, but you hadnt realized that it was taking a toll on loki too, that he was... missing you while you were preoccupied.

you hadnt even considered it, really, when you longed to go watch a movie with him or have dinner together. your clinginess wasnt surprising, but loki?

he never seemed to mind space.

your brain took a few seconds to process it before you could speak again. “i’m so sorry, loki.” you were already pleading with him, begging for forgiveness.

how could you have disregarded him so much this week? you felt disgusted at the thought.

loki’s head snapped up in shock. he thought you might be tired with his admission, maybe even upset. not... regretful? he didnt expect to see this look on your face, one that was so disappointed, so loving.

“i didnt realize that you might be feeling lonely also, which is completely unthoughtful of me, i just thought that maybe-” you were gesturing with your hands, looking around the room rapidly as you used all your breath.

“you arent upset?” loki asked carefully, interrupting your rambling.

you paused, then blinked, looking at him curiously. he was serious, that much you could tell. he had that same frown on his face. you blinked again.

“upset?” you repeated, astounded. “why would i be upset?”

loki was just as confused as you now. he scratched his neck, looking down. “because i’m getting in the way of your work, interrupting you, being troublesome?” he said it as if he was trying to ring any bells in your head. he seemed sure of every word he spoke.

all you felt was more horror.

“your emotions are not interruptions or ‘troublesome’“ you mocked his accent, mostly with anger at yourself as you scowled at the floor. your words were harsh, but loki didnt flinch away. he still didnt understand.

“they aren’t?”

your eyes snapped up to his, guilt pouring from them. immediately, you jumped up from your chair, coming to sit next to him and taking his hand in yours. his face relaxed a bit at the feel of your touch. “of course they’re not, loki. if you’re upset i want to know. you and your feelings arent burdens on my day, i love you!” you promised him with strong eyes, with a strong grip on his hand.

it was probably the most important thing in the world to you that he knew this. that he didnt feel unwanted again.

“i love you too” he answered, quickly, before he even had the chance to think over your words.

he almost smiled when he did, proud of himself, of you, for seemingly no reason. you loved him.

it was nice to hear.

it was also nice to hear the softness in your voice, the sweet words, his name. it was nice to be sitting next to you.

he was hit was a sudden burst of longing, this time for something different.

he wished he would’ve talked to you days before, wished there was more he could do. if that had happened, he might’ve saved you both from some unwanted feelings. might’ve kept you from the sorrow that you still had on your face.

you were still upset, he knew.

“i’m sorry i’ve been so busy. that i havent spent enough time with you,” the words fell from your lips before you could stop them, despite the happy look on loki’s face. you still felt horrible, guilty for making loki feel anything but joy.

“its okay, darling, i know you have a lot of work to do.”

though his words were sweet, they only made you scoff.

“thats not an excuse.” you insisted, scowling again. “i havent been taking care of you,”

loki, who no longer felt disappointed or lonely, who was enjoying just the sound of your voice and feel of your skin, frowned with you. he didnt like the pain in your voice, the anger he could hear.

he really wasnt upset anymore, never upset with you, to begin with. he was only glad that you knew he’d missed you and that you seemed to feel the same. he was happy to see you away from your desk.

his brows furrowed.

then he smiled again, leaning in closer to you with an idea.

he lifted your face towards him with gentle fingers, admiring you before he spoke. “i know how i’d like you to make it up to me,” he said, smirking at you.

it was a familiar look. one you hadnt seen in far too many days.

“you do?” you asked him, forgetting your guilt for a moment while he stared at you.

he nodded, staring down at your lips. his damned smirk was glued to his face now, distracting you from anything besides him. “i rather think you’ll enjoy it..” he assured.

and then he kissed you, and guilt was the last thing on your mind.

the thing was: loki was already the perfect person for you.

*

[messrmoonyy]

Hay, could you do number 44 for Remadora plz...😘

Some happy fluffy post deathly hallows fluff because they deserve it.

Also psa to people who have sent requests, i don’t write them in the order I receive them so if yours is taking it while it’s simply because others have given me more motivation. But it’ll show eventually :)

Prompt: sitting on the other’s lap

Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks

Warnings: none

You can find all my other writing on my masterlist and remember my ask box is always open, so drop me a request! Check my masterlist for who I write for!

Remus couldn’t sleep, the same as most nights just lately. He rolled around in bed for a few hours but eventually got up, not wanting to wake Dora. She was easily woken still, her motherly instincts still on high alert even if Teddy was past the age of waking up screaming in the night for food. And there were still old habits from the war, never truly letting yourself fall into a deep sleep. Always on edge and ready to jump out of bed and fight at a moments notice. He’d still wake up some mornings to see she had her wand clutched in her hand, still fast asleep.

She still had nights filled with nightmares too, as did he. She often asked him when they’d go away. He dare not tell her that hadn’t even gotten over his from the first war yet, Never mind the second, and that they would never truly leave her. He simply gave her the same answers every time

‘Soon my love’

‘You’re getting better everyday’

‘They won’t be with you forever’

He didn’t like to lie to her, but he couldnt bare the truth.

Thankfully him getting out of bed hadn’t seemed to have woken her from her rarely undisturbed sleep and he’d placed himself in his armchair by the fire. Christmas was coming around and the only light in the room came from the tree and the fire burning in the hearth. It felt wonderfully cosy. And homely. And domestic. And he adored it.

He finally had the family that he’d always wanted and dreamed of. He’d popped his head into Teddy’s room before making his way downstairs, the 3 year old sleeping soundly splayed out in his bed. Much like his mother he liked to take up as much room as possible, far more than a person so small should be capable of. He’d dodged the two creaky steps on the stairs and was now quite peaceful with his mug of tea and the fire.

They’d moved into the small house in hogsmeade not long after the war had ended, Remus has graciously taken back his position of dark arts professor, so it made sense for them be close to the school. Dora had been given her job back at the ministry with a hefty promotion too. Things were…. Good. They were all still in that sweet post war period where every seemed to get on, the darkness seemingly having been permanently shut out by the light. He didn’t know how long it would last. It hadn’t lasted particularly long the first time around. But then again this did feel different, because maybe the first time around the darkness had never really left. But it felt like it had now.

His days were constantly filled with light now, the bright faces of his students, the familiar feel of belonging in the hogwarts halls, then coming home to the smell of Dora attempting another one of Mollys recipes, Teddy charging around the house on his tiny broomstick that Harry had gifted him the Christmas before. Just waking up to his family, going to a job he adored and then returning home to his wife. His child. Some might call it an unbelievably dull existence, but he couldn’t think of anything he’d want more.

Even his monthly transitions weren’t as dreaded as they used to be. Wolfsbane potion was within easy access of every man, woman or child that needed it from the ministry. And no stigma was attached to collecting it either. Of course the overall acceptance of Lycanthropes was still a work in progress. But it was the best it had been in forever. His full moons no longer consisted of having to lock himself securely away, writhing and screaming for hours and hours as his bones broke and re set themselves. No, now he spent them curled up by the fire with Dora at his side simply napping the night away.

Occasionally he’d let himself think of the people he’d lost, all members of both the original and the second order that had lost their lives had gained portraits in hogwarts. Alongside all the other brave individuals that had died. He visited Sirius, James and Lily often. It got easier every time. Though James did like to throw the occasional jibe at his age, the James in the frame forever stuck in his twenties whilst Remus was in his forties now. Not that he minded. He didn’t think he’d ever reach that age so he was happily embracing it.

“ cant sleep? “ he startled slightly as a voice broke him from his daydreaming and he turned his head. Dora was stood at the bottom of the stairs, a sleepy smile on her face and rubbing at her eyes.

“ Sorry Darling did I wake you? “ she shook her head and yawned. He smiled warmly at her and placed his mug onto the coffee table before opening his arms. She returned the smile, grabbing a blanket from the back of the sofa before shuffling sleepily over and climbing into his lap. She wrapped the blanket around them both and his arms looped around her, holding her close “ Teddy alright? “

“ snoring just like his father “ his heart still did little flutters when he was reminded of the fact he was in fact a father. A proud one too “ nothing could wake that kid. You could go in there and hold a private Weird sisters concert and he’d sleep through the lot “ she played idly with a thread on his pyjama shirt and yawned again.

He ran his hand gently though her hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead and looking towards the Christmas tree. This would be the first Christmas Teddy would understand more. He was holding almost coherent conversations with his parents now and was understanding what Christmas meant- his Christmas list had been a hefty one.

“ what’re you smiling at? “ Dora asked quietly, brushing the backs of her fingers against his chin. He hadn’t even realised he had been smiling.

“ Christmas with Teddy “ Dora smiled too and laughed slightly.

“ poor kids gonna be upset when he realises we couldn’t get him a real pet hippogriff “

“ he’ll love the stuffed one just as much “ it had been a nightmare to wrap, it was bigger than Teddy himself “ he’ll understand things a little more this year and not just throw his mashed potatoes at your mother “ Dora snorted a laugh at the memory. She’d been in tears she’d found the situation that hilarious.

“ it’s a good job she loves him. Only grandchild perks? “ Remus smiled and pondered on what thing his son would do this Christmas to cause chaos, morphing into random things or deciding he wanted to climb everything within reach. He quite liked the chaos though, he’d loved boring and ‘normal’ for far too long. And you couldn’t get any less normal than a werewolf with his metamorphmagus wife and their half werewolf morphing son.

They stayed down stairs for a while longer, Dora still sat in his lap and a comfortable silence surrounding them. She dropped off again after a few minutes, her breathing become slower and her full weight leaning on him. He debated attempting to carry her up to bed, but wasn’t sure his aged bones could carry her. He struggled sometimes just lifting Teddy. So he simply stayed in the chair, rested his chin onto his wife’s head and closed his eyes, getting a little more sleep himself in the dying light of the fire.

[whatwh]

Will Byers has powers Au

S4 spoilers

Will can barely think straight. It's partially due to the plane ride, having to sit next to his brother and sister for hours on end definitely wasn't great. He couldn't get himself to fall asleep either, which is arguably worse. But he has been thinking nonstop about the conversation he is going to have. Explaining to the group why they are moving back when the plan was to stay away for at least a year, it's not gonna be fun. So he has prepared an argument. A last ditch attempt for his siblings to not tell the rest of the party. He already was able to compromise on telling their parents he should have some leeway. But as he lets the adults trailhead, his sister speaks. “You are telling them” El says first, effectively cutting him off. She walks up to her dad. He knows that she doesn't want to listen to his argument, there's a reason Will always wins.

(more under cut)

“I have barely spoken to them since we left,” Will is practically begging to his brother. “Besides, it could actually be a mental health thing this time.” “This time. We are not risking anything.” Will had another episode. Like the ones from the mind flayer. El had found him walking into the street outside their house one night, staring back at the house. He was obviously hyperventilating. And what he said in this state did not help his case. His mom called Owens and he set up payments so they could move back to Hawkins. They were getting their luggage into the house for now, they could have someone send the rest in a bit. Owens wanted testing done ASAP. So he grabbed his bags and brought them into what he assumes is his room, it was the only one unclaimed. He doesn't even grab his blanket from his bag before falling asleep on the nice loft bed.

He is upside down. That much is obvious by the roof above him as he opens his eyes. The mold, vines, leaks. The diluted colors and strange floating dust. He's gotten so many nightmares in his life though that he barely falters. Instead he does the lucid dreaming trick he learned from some Metaphysical book and watches his hand be pierced by his fingers. The dripping coming from the roof above him is bothering him even more, as the mystery liquid gets closer to hitting him. He takes a second to fully concentrate, opening his eyes to a perfectly fixed section of roof, about 5 inches big. Those books always said that changing a dreamscape was as easy as breathing, but it never was that easy for him. Well, at least the leak is fixed, for next time. He thought before telling himself to wake up.

“Oh, good.” “Wha?” Why was Steve ‘The Hair’ Hairington standing in his room? “You kids are normally light sleepers, and you have been sleeping an exceedingly large amount of time. Your mom told us and Owens what happened. She was pretty freaked out.” I guess that was out loud. “That still doesn't explain it?” Will helpfully supplied after a moment. He really lucked out didn't he? No confrontation and awkward conversation needed. “How long was I out?” “Joyce wanted to talk to Owens but refused to leave you alone so I got babysitting duty. And about 12 hours.” No wonder Mom freaked out, I can barely go 4 hours without an interruption. “Let's get some food, I'm starving.” Steve practically dragged him out of bed before starting to make a sandwich. Will was kinda surprised at the sight before him. The entire party was sitting at the dining room table, they had been in the middle of talking but shut up when they saw him. They stared at each other for a moment. The tension was suffocating. A few years ago they would have run one big group hug if they didn't see each other for a week. It has been a lot longer than a week. But they all stay seated. “Will if-” “I couldnt fall asleep on the plane, id been awake for a stupid long amount of time. It just knocked me out for a while, I feel better now. Sorry” He said this speech on the way to the coffee machine. He felt kinda bad about cutting Dustin off, but he can't deal with whatever he was gonna say. Not when he still just wants to sleep. Steve put down a full plate, PB&J with potato chips on the side. Will gives him a small thanks as he downs his first cup of coffee. He notes that he's sitting at the island, and that Steve noticed. He just realized how hungry he is though, so he focuses on the plate.

“Hey! You're awake!” Joyce practically yells as she walks through the door, followed by Dr. Owens and Hopper. “Yep, how did everything go?” “We have prepared a similar situation to the previous one, to start with at least.” Owens is always using language that seemed rehearsed, but that's even more so than normal. Will file this information away for later. He's not sure how long he sat there but his plate was empty and so was the coffee pot. Oops. “Alright, School?” Will had gone back and forth with his mom about attending Hawkins High school. Will had found a few loopholes he knew applied to his situation, but his mom still wanted him to go. “This time it will not interfere with your normal school hours.” It seems that mom has won. “Ok. If you don't mind, can I ride my bike around?” “Of course Will, just remember to be back bed-”

[fanfic-she-wrote]

Imagine being the reincarnation of Dracula's long lost love: Part 9

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

A couple hours later, the flames eventually died out, leaving the castle practically in ruins. You still hadn't moved and Dracula was beginning to lose hope that you would never move again. He picked you up and carried your limp body in his arms as he walked back to the castle. So much of it was burnt and fallen apart. There was a large gaping hole in the cieling where you could see into the sky above. Dracula noticed that it was nearly dawn. He just hoped that the dungeons were still in tact as they made their ways towards them with Henry and Van Helsing clearing the way, pushing aside the charred debris.

At this moment Dracula felt numb. His castle was a heap of burnt rubble and the love of his life was possibly dead forever. Luckily for him when he reached the dungeons it was untouched, not even by the mob. At least that was a good sign. He thought. But not much of one. In a room just off the staircase lay his coffin, it black with plush red lining, and inscribed on the top was his family crest. Henry lifted the lid and Dracula placed you gently inside.

"What do we do now?" Van Helsing asked.

"We wait." Dracula replied, looking down at your lifeless body.

He felt anger once again boiling over inside him. He clutched his fists so tight that his knuckles turned white and his nails cut into his palms.

The tension was so thick in the room you could cut it with a knife. The longer Dracula waited, the more he became angry. Angry that his love had been taken away from him again. Angry that no matter how much he wanted it, he would never find peace not from angry townsfolk, not from Van Helsing, and not even from himself.

Van Helsing watched him carefully, sensing his anger. This anger was different than before. For the first time, he actually felt a little frightened. Dracula could tear him apart like paper if he wanted to. It felt like waiting for a bomb to explode.

Finally it did and like a viper he grabbed Van Helsing by his collar, lifting him a couple inches off the ground. "This is all your fault!! " He growled.

"My fault?! I'm not a monster that goes around killing innocent townsfolk am I?! " Van Helsing choked, trying to pry himself lose, but to no avail.

"Get out before I kill you were you stand!" He hissed, releasing him.

"No, Im staying." Van Helsing refused, fixing his shirt. Dracula stepped toward him, baring his teeth, aiming to kill.

"If she wakes and finds me dead, she will never forgive you. You don't want to risk that do you?" He pointed out, trying to appear calmer than he felt.

Dracula hesitated for a moment. Why did she value his friendship so much? He wondered.

"If she wakes up I will let you go. If not, you better pray for a quick death." Dracula threatened, glaring at him.

"Master, where will you sleep?" Henry asked, changing the conversation.

"I can't sleep. Not now. I'll be fine as long as the sunlight can't find me." He answered.

Dracula bent down beside you and held your hand. It was so cold now. Only a couple hours ago it was warm and soft. It was almost hard to believe it had only been a couple hours, it felt much longer to him.

Henry yawned, unable to stay awake for another second. He took off his coat folding it into a makeshift pillow and rested his head on it against the cold floor. He missed his bed, but that went up in the fire. Stupid townspeople. He thought to himself as he fell asleep.

Van Helsing didn't sleep either, although he wanted to. He couldn't even remember the last time he actually had a good night's sleep. His thoughts kept him up most nights, mostly about creatures of the night, but sometimes his thoughts were of you. Like how cute you were when you crinkled your nose when you were thinking or how you used to laugh when he did something you deemed silly...the little things that made him fall in love with you. If only he had told you how he felt...at least you would have known. He forced tears back, but it was becoming extremely difficult as the hours passed and you didn't wake.

"I love her too you know." Van Helsing confessed.

"What?" Dracula sneered, glaring at him from over his shoulder, but Lawrence paid him no mind.

"Yes...for a long time. I never told her." He said his voice cracking.

"You're a fool!" Dracula scoffed. Van Helsing nodded in agreement.

"I suppose I am. Maybe if I had this never would have happened." He said with a sigh.

Dracula spun around to face him. "What do you mean by that?!" He snarled. Van Helsing got up off the floor where he sat and came face to face with him, staring into his cold, dark eyes.

"I think you know what I mean. If I told her than maybe she would be with me instead of being dead because she fell in love with you!" He accused, finally losing his temper.

"How dare you!" Dracula angrily spat, smacking Van Helsing hard into a wall. "She could never love someone like you!" Van Helsing rubbed his head, feeling dazed. "You're pathetic! Weak! A miserable excuse for a mortal!"

"Am I? I'm not the one that has to hide from the sun or cower in fear of the cross." Lawrence retorted, lifting himself back on his feet. He looked at you and took a deep breath, knowing that you wouldn't have wanted them to fight.

"So much blood has been spilled, Dracula. Haven't you had enough?" He asked, trying to reason with him.

"No. Not till I have spilled yours." He hissed.

"Then I guess we are destined to do this forever." Van Helsing sighed.

"Forever is short in the life of a vampire. But you will never see it. " He swore through gritted teeth.

"I don't want to see forever. I'm tired. I've seen enough death and despair to last several lifetimes. I will eventually die, but there are things that are worse than death." Van Helsing admitted. Dracula's face softened a little as he mulled over his enemy's words in his mind.

"Get. Out." Dracula said, turning away. He didn't want to admit it, but Van Helsing was right. Living forever did feel like a curse. There were many times he wondered what it was like to be really dead. It must be glorious...

"I would like to stay a little while longer..." Van Helsing started to ask, taking a small step toward Dracula.

"Don't push it Dr. Van Helsing. I'm letting you go alive. Don't make me change my mind." Dracula warned.

"May I have one last look at her then?" He asked. Dracula nodded stepping aside. Van Helsing slowly walked up to the coffin and reached inside to touch your hand. It was still cold as ice.

He felt tears well up in his eyes again. "I'm sorry Y/N...for everything. If only it were me in that coffin instead of you. You of all people on this Earth didn't deserve this." He whimpered before placing gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Goodbye."

As you lay there, you tried to call out to them to tell them that you weren't dead, but you couldnt. It felt like there was an invisible force controlling you, preventing you from moving at all. You couldn't even breathe, it was almost like you were drowning and your lungs were being filled to the brim with water. Everything hurt. Wherever you were it was pitch black. You were frightened. If only Vlad or Lawrence could help you, even Henry. You didn't even know why you were here...oh right you're dead. Is this what it was like to be dead?

From the darkness, a small voice said, "Go back."

"We must go back." It implored you, sounding desperate.

"We? Who is we?" You ask. Suddenly, a bright light appeared blinding you. Squinting, you could make out a strange, blurry figure and faint whispering could be heard emanating from within the light. As you looked closer, it became clearer and you realized who it was. It was Dracula. You tried calling out to him once more, but he couldn't hear you. His appearance was different. He looked younger and was significantly less pale. He had longer hair that fell to his shoulders, even his clothes were different. You saw behind him the castle the way it once was, like in your vision. Your heart skipped a beat when he turned to look at you, as though he just noticed you were there. Then you finally felt yourself move, but you weren't in control. It was like you were a puppet being pulled around on strings.

Dracula reached for you, pulling you into his warm embrace, which you gladly welcomed. "My dear Maria, how I've missed you." He said, kissing your cheek. Maria? Who's Maria? You wondered, feeling a twinge of jealousy.

"I've only been gone a few hours Vlad." You said to him.

"But to me it feels like an eternity." He told you, kissing you again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Without warning, the light flashed again and you found yourself in a church. You did not recognize this place, yet it seemed to familar. Before you stood Vlad and behind him was...Lawrence? No it couldn't be?! It certainly looked like him. The face was the same, but the hair was different. It was only slightly shorter than Dracula's and he was sporting a goatee. He didn't look as happy as your beloved. In fact, he looked extremely bored. Was this a wedding?

You slowly walked up the isle towards them, feeling all eyes on you. You didn't even know who any of these people were. All you knew is that you wanted to get out of there. You glanced up at Vlad and saw how much love glimmered in his eyes and you felt your nerves instantly calm. The room just seemed to fade away and only he mattered. He held out his hand for you, helping you up the last remaining steps.

"You ready, my dear?" He whispered.

"Of course. I can't wait to start my new life with you. " You happily answered.

"As am I."

Then the scene disappeared again much to your disappointment, this time to something a little less happy...this time you found yourself in a duel against Van Helsing. At first you weren't sure if it was a friendly duel, but quickly realized that it very much wasn't. This was a duel that could only have one victor.

"It should have been me on the thrown! All of this should have been mine!" Van Helsing yelled, smashing his sword into yours with a loud clang that rung throughout the great hall. You parried and sent him flying backward with a hard kick.

"The thrown! The castle! You..." He lunged at you once more, but you blocked it and counter attacked. He twisted your blade around his and pulled you close, your faces inches apart.

"You could never have me." You spat, pulling away.

"You wouldn't have had a choice." He retorted with a sickening grin. You could feel the anger building up inside you. With a swift flick of your sword you slashed him in the face, leaving a deep cut in his cheek. He chuckled. You were a fiesty one. Too fiesty for your own good, he thought.

"That's the difference between you and Vlad," You began. "He doesn't tell me what to do."  And with that you swung at him once more, this time breaking his sword in two. You held your sword to his neck.

You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the blade. That's when it dawned on you. You were Maria, Dracula's wife, and you remembered him telling you that you looked like her. It all made sense now. This is why you were having these visions. They are your own memories. Could it be that you and Maria are one in the same?

"Surrender traitor." You hissed, your blade mere inches away from his throat.

"I am no traitor." Van Helsing said.

"Fine then, a coward."

He rolled his eyes."At least I fight my own battles. Where's your beloved now?" He pointed out, looking smug.

"Fixing your mistake. Don't think I don't know what you've done. Vlad might trust you, but I sure as hell don't." You stated, inching your blade closer to his neck.

"And what will he say when he finds out that you've killed me?"

"The truth. He has no reason to doubt me." You answered confidently.

"Well, we'll find out sooner than you think." Confused you followed his eyes over to where Dracula now stood.

"What is this?!" He asked looking at the both of you.

"Vlad, he is a traitor. I caught him giving information to the Turks. He is league with the enemy." You explained. While you were distracted, Van Helsing quickly pulled a small dagger from within his sleeve and slammed it deep into your stomach. You dropped your sword falling to the floor alongside it writhing in pain. Dracula's heart stopped. It felt like time had slowed down as he ran to you and held you in his arms.

"Maria, no..." He let out a small cry, running his hand over your wound.

"I had to do something...I love you Vlad. I told you the day I married you that I would do anything for you." You told him, cupping his cheek.

"Then don't leave me...I can't live without you." He whimpered, sensing the end was coming for you.

"We will meet again, my love." You promised, sealing it with a quick kiss as the life faded from your body.

You could feel everything fading away again as you returned to the darkness. You mind was dizzy from everything you had just witnessed. It all felt so strange...

"Go back." The voice repeated again.

"He needs you. Go back!"

Suddenly, you felt whatever was holding you back had finally released you. Eager to get out of there you ran through the darkness hoping to find a way out. You didn't know where you were running, but you had to try. The darkness seemed endless and just as you were about to give up, the ground gave way below your feet and you finally woke up.

You gasped for air feeling as though you were drowning. You sat up clutching your throat, trying to catch your breath. Why was it so hard to breathe?

"Y/N?! Dracula gasped. He couldn't believe it. You were alive. It worked! It wasn't too late after all!

"Y/N! You're alright! Thank God." Van Helsing sighed in relief, smiling like he never smiled before.

"You!?" You exclaimed, backing away from him, your past memory still fresh in your mind. He looked at you feeling confused and hurt. Before Van Helsing could say anything, Dracula appeared at his side reaching out to you.

You looked over at him, eyes wide. "Vlad...I...I remember." You breathed.

"What?" He asked. "What do you remember?

"Everything."

[brelione]

JJ X Reader X Rafe heacanons

The boys are both dating you, not eachother.

Am I gonna write a whole series with a polyamorous relationship between JJ, Rafe and the reader?Yes, yes I am.

You literally never get a break

When you’re not being fucked you’re out surfing with JJ or hanging out with Rafe

They’re so rough with you

JJ likes to spank and choke you while Rafe likes to overstimulate you and eat you out

“You like that, princess?”JJ asked, pounding into you hard while a bullet vibrator was pressed to your clit.Rafe was panting, getting himself off to the sight.You were moaning loudly, wanting nothing more than to tug at his blonde hair but your wrists were tied to the bed. “JJ!”You moaned, clenching around him for the third time that night.He sighed, pressing a kiss to your collarbone and pulling out, staring down at you.He looked over to Rafe, raising an eyebrow.Surprisingly Rafe was the more gentle out of the two, replacing the spot that JJ had once occupied.He pressed a few gentle kisses to your lips, untying your wrists so you could touch him.Your hands went to his hair, thumbs caressing his cheekbones as he slowly slid into you, smiling at the sound of your moans.JJ was getting his pants back on, watching your reactions to Rafe’s touch.The older boy was moving slowly, face in the crook of your neck as he whispered that he loved you over and over again, knowing it wouldnt take much to get you to another orgasm between him and the vibrator. “Rafe.”You whimpered, nails scratching up his back as you came, panting.He licked his lips before pulling out, kissing your forehead. “You’re such a good girl for us.”He whispered, rubbing your jaw with his thumb.You sighed softly, too tired to move.JJ grinned, walking over to leave a small kiss on your nose. “He’s right, babe.You’re the best.”He smiled, heading into the bathroom to run you a bath.

Believe it or not they were pretty romantic

They loved to take you on dates.Usually to a diner for pancakes or on a small picnic on the beach.

Rafe was a lot like a sugar daddy to you

The three of you often went to stores like Victoria Secret so your boys could pick things out for you.JJ loved to see you in pretty lace bras and panties, loving when you wore the bluish gray set he had picked out for you.At this point you had more bras and panties than actual clothes.

The way that they kissed you was completely different.JJ was the roughest when it came to sex but his kisses were so gentle, often smiling when he pulled away.Rafe was a little more rough, liking to press you up against the wall or stand between your legs when he kissed you, squeezing your jaw lightly.

You never had to deal with lack of attention.You got at least ten hugs every day, forehead kisses and light make out sessions on your couch as random movies played in the background.

Cuddling with them was always fun.They always cuddled with you after sex, resting on JJ’s chest while Rafe’s arm was wrapped around your waist with his head on your shoulder.

They loved to fuck you but if you werent in the mood they were always down for cuddles

JJ’s hand moved up your thigh and over your clothed clit, pressing down lightly.His attention was still on the tv, Rafe was at a family dinner so he was unable to make it.You frowned, gripping JJ’s hand and pulling it away, rubbing your thumb on his hand.His eyebrows furrowed, looking up at you with a questioning expression. “Im too tired.”You told him, leaning against his shoulder.He sighed,gripping your waist and pulling you onto his chest, rubbing your back. “Then take a nap.”He told you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You were the one that had gotten them to finally get along.It had been at a kook party that you just happened to be at.You and JJ had a bit of a flirtatious relationship but you knew that Rafe had a thing for you.You and JJ had ended up in a heated makeout session, ending up in a random room.He had forgotten to lock the door, Rafe walking in a few moments later with wide eyes. “You gonna stare or are you gonna join us?”You asked, seeing how JJ was shocked.Rafe was going to decline the offer, not even wanting to be near JJ.But the look on your face and your naked body pressed against the bed of his guest room was too much for him to resist.

From that night on you three had a relationship, the two of you eventually feeling comfortable to call you their girlfriend.

The Pogues had met you when JJ introduced you as his girlfriend.They had taken a liking to you, understanding why he liked you so much.

But then Kiara saw you and Rafe kissing at the beach and her heart broke.She thought that you were cheating on JJ.

She had brought it up to him, surprised when he laughed. “Yeah, no.We share her.”He had explained, not saying anything else.

You guys got a few strange looks in public but none of you cared that much

Topper couldnt understand how Rafe could handle that sort of relationship.Rafe had always been the jealous type so it was unbelievable that he could even stand the thought of you kissing another guy.

Most nights were spent in your house since your parents were hardly ever home

Whenever they were home the three of you would stay in the guest house.The two boys would sneak in in the middle of the night, waiting patiently for you.You’d wait until your parents were asleep to sneak out into the back and see them, trying your best to be quiet.

They loved the softer parts of the relationship like baking and dancing in the living room

Once JJ finally teaches you how to surf all you want to do is teach Rafe

Rafe slowly started to not hate JJ, becoming rather protective over the pogue

You were the bridge that conjoined the kooks and the pogues, the three of you eventually becoming comfortable enough to show up to events together

You,JJ and Rafe had all went to Midsummers together.JJ’s arms were around your shoulders, chin on your head while Rafe held you by your waist.

The kooks stopped messing with JJ a few months into your relationship

Your drawers were full of your boyfriends’ hoodies, pants and t shirts

After a year of the three of you being together Rafe had bought you a necklace with an ‘R’ and a ‘J’ on it

They liked when you wore it as they fucked you

JJ really liked to touch you in non sexual ways

kissing your cheeks, braiding your hair, carrying you on his back, forehead kisses, cuddling, showering together

The Pogues even started to like Rafe, the boy often making appearances at John.B’s house.

You, JJ and Rafe would cuddle in the hammock while the others sat by the fire

It took a while for them to finally accept Rafe.He had told you how stressed he was, really wanting them to like him so that he could be around you as much as possible.It took a lot of Mountain Dew, chips, brownies and sandwhiches for them to finally warm up to him.

The three of you often stayed up late at night to talk about your future together.JJ would become excited by the idea of enjoying the kook life with you.

You guys often talked about children and who would get you pregnant.

“We should have two.Rafe gets one and I get one.”JJ grinned, kissing your forehead.You shook your head. “Nope, im not giving birth twice.”You answered.

You guys eventually decided that animal children were better than human children

You’d giggle whenever you saw JJ wearing Rafe’s shirt or vise versa

Rafe eventually started to shop for JJ too, finding out that you loved to see JJ wearing white tanktops.He had bought a few of them, picking out a few dress shirts as well and giving them to JJ when you were out grabbing food. “Im telling you, if you wear these she’s gonna be soaked.We’re gonna get so much.”Rafe insisted, becoming excited by the thought.He was right.The two of them fucked you for hours that night.

Grocery shopping together

The two of them fighting over the last bag of hot cheetos, Rafe standing on his tip toes and holding it high up in the air.

“Guys, theres another bag.”You told them, the two of them pouting.Rafe ended up carrying you on his back with JJ in the cart, running through the store.

“I love you” X 900

If one of them spent the night you’d wake up to little notes on your nightstand

Christmas with them was immaculate

Rafe had gotten JJ a monster hoodie, a big smile when he watched the pogue unwrap it.JJ had gotten him a chain, the two of them standing up. “Bro!”JJ exclaimed, hugging the boy that had once been his enemy. “Dude.”Rafe chuckled, hugging back.

@nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland  @yuxsh06   @ifilwtmfc  @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67  @poguestyleskye @judayyyw  @sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae @natalie-kate-98 @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart @broken-jj @joshy-obx  @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles @angelreyesgirl100  @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @purple-vodka-99 @annmariek8 @harryswigss @imagines-07 @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @prejudic3 @annmariek8 @imagines-07 @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @i-love-scott-mccall

[boiolay]

See You Soon | Part 2

Dad!Jaehyun + Boyfriend!Johnny

genre: fluff; angst

warnings: swearing; alcohol 

word count: 5.5K

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

You yawned looking around while rocked an asleep Seoyeon on the baby carrier. It was hard for you to even keep your eyes open, but you had to pay attention to the baggage carousel. The last 24 hours were probably the most stressfull of your life. You took a 13 hours flight alone with a 19 month old toddler that couldn't sit still for more than an hour. She had cried for half of the time and paced around the halls of the plane at the other half, your dauther only fell asleep when you landed, so you didn't have any sleep. Moving to a different country being a single mother wasn't easy.

A man saw you struggling with the baby and offered to help with your baggage so after a few minutes you were walking through the arrival gate and looking at the crowd to see if you could spot a familiar face. And as soon as you saw the tall man grinning widely and waving, you couldn't help but smile back sighing relieved.

You walked to him and when you got closer you saw him holding your favorite flowers. You laughed amuzed and shook your head opening your arms so you could hug him the best way you could since Seoyeon was still on the carrier. "I told you not to buy anything!"

Johnny cupped your cheeks and pressed a small kiss to your lips grinning against them.

"Who told you they are for you? I bought them to Seoyeon, but since she's sleeping I guess you can have them." He winked playfully and you rolled your eyes, but keeped the smile on your face. You accepted the flowers and smelled them while the tall man reached to caress the toddler's head. "Thank you, babe."

He took the trolley from your hands and started walking out of the airport. You could clearly see that he was delighted to have you in his home city with him. He was back in Chicago to start his doctoral program after years of studying in Korea. He talked about going back to the States since the day you met him, but after the you of you got together he stopped talking about it so often. That was until he was offered a scholarship to study back home. He thought of rejecting it with the excuse that he couldn't just leave his patients, but you knew it was because he didn't want to leave you. So you told him to accept, because Korea didn't feel like home anymore and you confessed that going back to your home country would always come into your mind, but you always brushed it off since the topic was much more complex than your desire. So one night, when the two of you were having dinner he brought it up again.

"Would you ever consider going to Chicago? I mean in an ideal scenario where you have a job you like, a house, a school for Seoyeon..." He had stared at you expectantly and you could see looking into his eyes a future that made your heart warm. You had smiled foundly and reached over the table to take his hand and caress his knuckles.

"Yes, I would. But the scenario isn't ideal, love." You offered him a sad smile and went back eating. But your words made something cross his mind. So in the next week you had received a lot of unbelivable job offers in Chicago. When you told Johnny about it he said that maybe he had sent your curriculum to some of these companies.

It took you a few weeks to measure all the consequences that could happen with your decision, after all it wasn't only your life that would change.

"How was the flight?" Johnny said once you reached the car and started to put your bagagge inside. He had come earlier to the US because his program started before Seoyeon visa was ready.

"Terible. She couldn't sit still. I didn't get one hour of sleep." You sighed rubbing your eyes, you really needed to pass out for a whole day. Johnny laughed a little and once everything was inside the car, he shut the door and pulled you to a hug.

"You'll have the whole day to rest. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on her." You pressed a kiss on his chest and looked up at him. "And... I'm glad I bought this." He opened the door to the back seat and you saw a baby car seat.

"Oh my God. You are my angel." He laughed and helped you to put Seoyeon on the seat without waking her up before the two of you get in the car.

"You can sleep for a bit now, love." You nodded feeling Johnny's hand on your thigh, rested your head on the window looking Chicago appear in front of your eyes.

Even being extremely tired, you couldnt fall asleep your mind was bringing you back to Korea, specifically to your ex-husband. The night you told him you were bringing your daugther with you played in your head in a loop, you have never seen Jaehyun so broken.

When the words came out of your mouth you saw the anger on him dissipate and be replaced by pain. You stared at each other for a while, he went blank and when he spoke again his voice came out weaker than he intended.

"You can't be serious... You can't do that." You saw tears welling up in his eyes and you bit your lower lip feeling it trembling. You were already feeling guilty for what you were doing, but seeing him like that made your heart sink. "You can't do that to me, y/n... That's my daughter!!" He raised his voice again, but as soon as he did he brust into tears. Jaehyun raises his arms to his face to hide it from you not wanting you to see him so fragil even though you have been with him on his worst. You turned around and squated hugging your legs not being able to look at him at that moment, feeling your heart ache you let tears fall down your cheeks.

"You can't do that. She's the most important thing in my life! You are being selfish to take her away from me!”

"Don't you undestand?! I'm not happy here, Jaehyun. And I haven't been for a while!" You stand up and walk closer to be face to face with him, with the back of your hands you clean the tears off your face before speaking. "Yeah, maybe I'm being selfish because I want to be happy, but honestly do you really think you could raise her on your own?" You raise your hand to make him stop talking when he open his mouth. "I'm not saying you are not capable. I know you are and I trust you so much, but, Jae... You are the bussiest person I know. You stay weeks traveling and when you are back you barely stay at home. How do you expect to raise a girl who isn't even two years old when you are constantly working?"

Your hands where shaking when you raised them to softly wipe the tears away from you ex-husband's face . He closed his eyes, leaning to your touch before hugging you and burying his face on your neck to sob against it.

"I don't want to take her away from you either, but staying here has been very bad for me. We will make it work. I'll always bring her here and you are always welcomed to come to us. She won't stop loving you because you are a little far."

After that day you talked a lot more times to sort things out and you agreed that it was better for Seoyeon to come with you. But you felt that his meanor around you changed, he was much more colder towards you and he would barely look at your eyes when you talked, besides that you would usually talk to each other about whatever was happening in your life and thay wasn’t happening anymore. You didn't blame him tho, since all the pain he was feeling was caused by you.

You just realized you felt asleep when you felt two little hands squeezing your cheeks. You opened your eyes and saw Seoyeon on your lap looking at you with a smile, you smiled back and leaned to kiss her forehead seaching for Johnny, that standed beside you with the car's door opened. "Hi, baby girl. Did you sleep well?"

She nodded and leaned to cuddle you still feeling a little sleepy. You hugged her and looked up at your boyfriend, he smiled helping you to get out of the car. You looked at the shinning bulding in front of you and felt Johnny's hand rest on your waist pulling you to his chest.

"Welcome home, love."

                                               ♡

And that was the beginning of your new life. After 3 months, everything went well. Seoyeon was adapting fairly good to the new country so far, you and Johnny would speak english to her so she could be able to learn the language soon. You made sure that she spoke daily with her father, so you would facetime Jaehyun in the morning when she wake up and right after she went to sleep. She would spend about thirty minutes babbling and laughing with him. You loved to hear them talk. Your job was doing great too, the people were super nice and hardworking so that made your work much easier. Johnny was also extremely happy with his studies, his time was being devided between working at the hospital with the others doctors that were envolved on his research, staying at your house and going back to his only when he needed more clothes.

Before going to Chicago Jaehyun agreed that whenever possible you should go to Korea with Seoyeon and he would do the same so they could see each other out of the computer screen. So one day during the father and daughter's facetime he asked to talk to you after she went to sleep. He told you he was going to attend New York Fashion Week and he wanted to see his Seoyeon. He said he could go to Chicago for a bit, but most of the days he would have to stay in New York, so he asked if you could bring her to stay for a few days with him, he also said that he needed to work and wouldn't like to let her alone with some babysitter, even if it was for just a few hours, so he would feel better if you could come too. Seeing his face almost begging you, you couldn't deny him that.

So there you were in the hotel lobby waiting for Jaehyun to arrive. Seoyeon was very excited to see her dad and was jumping around always running to the door to check if he was already comming, that would make the doorman laugh and play with her, she was a very sociable kid and her cute way would always make everyone fall in love with her.

"Seoyeon, come here! Wait here beside mommy." She looked at you and at the door one last time before running back to you. You sat her by you on the couch and caressed her hair while giving her the tedy lion that her father gave her, it was her favorite toy. "Do you miss dad?"

"Daddy." She said nodding as she fiddle the toy. You sighed and leaned to press a kiss on her head. "Yeah, I know, honey. I miss him too." You stopped for a moment after hearing what you said, but shrugged. Of couse you missed him, you would always be around each other and confident things to one another and it has been months since you didn't have a proper conversation. Anyone would feel like that. Right?

Your thoughts were interupted when you heard Seoyeon scream and run towards the door, you stod up ready to prevent her from going to the streat, but as soon as you raised your eyes you saw Jaehyun walking inside and opening his arms with the brightest smile you've seen in a while on his face ready to pick up his daughter. He holded her and spined her around kissing all over her face making her giggle and scream happily. You had a huge smile on your lips and couldn't help getting a little emotional.

"My baby is so big! Look at how much you've grown, Seoyeon! And you are so beautiful!" He said admiring the toddler's face and caressing her cheek. "You look more like your mother everytime I see you." He whispered foundly and with that something seemed to snap on his head, so he looked around searching for something and as soon as his eyes landed on you he smiled widely and walked over you.

You suddenly became very self-conscious, you cleaned your hands that you didn't realise were sweating on your jeans as Jaehyun approached. You expected him to stop in front of you, but he pulled you into his arms. You were surprised at first, but buried yourself in the hug.

The three of you standed like this for a few moments, until you gently steped back. You looked up at your daughter that was still hugging your ex-hunband's neck and then moved your eyes to watch him who stared back at you.

"Hi." You said softly what made him chuckle and answer.

"Hi."

"Hello!!" You two turned to your Seoyeon that was happily waiving at her parents and that made Jaehyun and you laugh. He leaned to press a kiss on her hands rocking her softly.

"Hello to you too, baby girl."

"So... Did you have a good flight?" You asked when his eyes met yours again and he nodded shortly.

"Yes! I tried to sleep so I could spend more time with my baby." He said ticking the toddle's belly making her laugh. You smiled foundly and turned around when heard someone approach.

Jaehyun's manager greated you and Seoyeon warmly and said that he had already made the check-in for your bedrooms. So the three of you followed him to the elevator.

As you walked your ex-husband iniciated a small talk with you asking about how Seoyeon has been adapting, but his eyes wouldn't leave his daughter that once in a while would join your conversation making the two of you melt. You couldn't be happier in that moment seeing how the toddle's eyes would sparkle everytime she looked at her dad.

Once you exited the elevator, the manager started speaking. "Since I didn't know how you would divide your time with Seoyeon, I thought that a suit with two bedrooms would be nice for you so she could choose with whom she wants to sleep without having to leave the room. But, if you prefer to stay in a room of your own, Y/N, you can stay in mine and I'll share the other with Jaehyun."

He unlocked the door while speaking and before answering you entered the room. There was a cozy living room with a small kitchen and three doors, two bedrooms and a bathroom, you thought.

"I don't mind." You turned around to look at Jaehyun and saw him let his daughter down on the floor. "Do you?"

He looked up at you and shook his head right away. "No. Not at all."

"Great. I'll leave the three of you alone. Jae, I'll come to wake you up for the photoshot tomorrow. Y/n, is good to see you." You smiled warmly at him and nodded repeating the words back at him." Bye, Soyeon!"

"Bye bye!" The toddler waved at the manager as he closed the door.

Once you were alone, you felt a little akward to be sleeping under the same roof as your ex-husband again even if it was just for 5 days. You looked around seeing your bags in a corner, so you moved to take your daughters toys to give it to her.

"Would you like me to order dinner? Oh. You can choose which bedroom you want." You looked at him and nodded extending the bag to him. "Sure. I would like that."

At that night you ate dinner together. It felt nice to share a meal the three of you again, it was even better now because Seoyeon would take part of the conversation on her own way. He asked you about how was your job, if you were enjoing it and how it felt to live in Chicago. You asked him about how things were going with his fashion brand, if his parents were healthy and if he was still bowling weekly. You slowly felt like the two of you were going back to the relashionship you had before telling him you were moving to the US.

And it went like that for the following days. You would speak to each other warmly, laugh at each other and make fun of one another. It was refreshing to be able to talk freely too him again.

You let Seoyeon sleep with her dad so they could spend more time together, one night she woke up whinning wanting to see you, but as soon as she was sure that you haven't gone anywhere, she went back to sleep on her father's arms. And you sighed at the sight of Jaehyun in his pijama’s rocking her baby in his arms while singing her a lullaby.

The two of you followed Jaehyun in most of his appointments so during the breaks he would play with the toddler. You felt proud of him once you saw that he achieved all he ever wanted. He had become a respected model and the art director of a expanding brand, you could see that he was happy and that made your heart warmer.

Some of the times you knew he didn't have a schedule you would leave the two of them alone to go on dates so they could enjoy each other's company. Jaehyun would always insist for you to come too, you would say that you had work to do. That wasn't a lie, but you wanted to make sure that they could spend some time alone, because you knew that it would take a while for them to have an oportunity like that again.

The time alone Jaehyun and you spent together was close to zero, the only minutes Seoyeon wouldn't be around was when she had just felt asleep, but he would have to sleep early too because he had some schedule early on the following day.

That was until your last night on the hotel. The three of you have been to Central Park and that made your baby so tired she felt asleep on your way back to the hotel. As soon as you got in the room, Johnny called you. Jaehyun told you to answer while he changed Seoyeon's clothes, so you sat on the couch and opened the facetime smiling at your boyfriend.

You talked about your day, he told you about his and after a few minutes you let out a small yawn.

"You tired?"

"Just a little. We ran after Seoyeon the whole afternoon." You chuckled and smiled tenderly remembering the good day you had. "And then they teamed up against me! That wasn't fair!" You said laughing." It was great day. You saw Johnny nod, but didn't realized he dropped the smile he had on his lips.

"You should sleep, love."

"Uhm, yeah. I think I should." You said streaching your arms with a lazy smile.

"Go ahead. I love you and I miss you."

" Me too, baby. Goodnight."

You turned off the call and when you were about to stand up you realized that Jaehyun was standing on the corner of the living room looking at the menu of the room service.

"Did she wake up?" He turned at you and shook his head with a smile

"Sleeping as a rock. I ordered us dinner by the way." You laughed nodding and rested back when saw he coming at you with the menu in hands. "They have Franciacorta here. Is it still your favorite wine?" He looked at you with a small smirk tilting his head as mocking you, that made you laugh throwing your head back.

"Oh my God, yes! The last time I drank it was in Italy in that restaurant with the little farm when- "

"You drank too much and couldn't stand still so you decided that it was a good idea to sit on the grass of the yard to play with the dogs while waited for me." You covered your face with your hands embarassed, but coudn't help laughing at the memory.

"I ruined my white dress that night."

"And I thought I have lost you because I clearly remember to tell you to wait for me at the table. By the way, why on earth were you so excited to be talking to the dogs?!"

"I was drunk. Give me a break! And, well, you proposed that night. I was happy, I had to share the news.”." You pushed his shoulder lightly while the two of you laughed and his eyes sparkled when you said the last part and you felt shy under his gaze. In that moment you heard a knock on the door and Jaehyun stood up to answer it.

"It's the room service." He said after some moments walking into the room again being followed by a concierge with a food cart. The man set the food on the table and you noticed that the wine that Jaehyun talked about was on the cart.

"Did you actually ordered that?" You said amuzed and shook your head. He scrached his neck with a shy smile.

"Is it too much? I mean... I know you like it and, well, it's our last night here and we didn't even have time to talk-"

"Jae." You interupted him smiling softly walking closer to the table. "It's okay." You thanked the concierge and he made a small bow.

"Have a good night, Miss Jung." He said before walking back to the door, you opened your mouth softly at the name you haven't been called in a while, but there was no use correcting him. And because you turned to eat some fries of the dish, you missed Jaehyun bitting back a smile.

"Only you to order wine with hamburgers." You commented low taking the plates and bringing them to the center table in the middle of the living room and sat on the floor with your back against the couch. "Come on. Join me."

He opened the bottle, poured some wine in two glasses and came over to sit by you. He extended you one and said with a grin. "Hope you don't befriend any animals today."

You laughed and lightly punched him on the arm, he gasped and holded the place you touched pretending that he was in pain, but soon the both of you were laughing.

As the time went on, you talked and laughed about your past and your memories and at every moment you recalled, you felt something blooming inside you, but you couldn't tell what that was. After the third glass and Jaehyun have eaten all of your fries, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you. You leaned your back on the couch and closed your eyes for a moment feeling that the wine has gone to your head.

"How's Johnny?" At the question, your eyes shot open and you realized that Jaehyun was staring at you closely. He haven't asked about your boyfriend until now, actually even back in Korea he would never bring him up, so you were taken aback at him question. You raised your head and turned it in order to face him. You stared at him for a moment trying to read his expression, but you couldn't.

"Why are you asking that?"

He let out a soft snort with a sad smile, you saw him lower his gaze and start fiddling with the carpet.

"Does he treat you right? Does he make you happy?" You opened you mouth slightly not knowing how to react to what he was asking you.

"Listen. I shoudn't be telling you this. Maybe this is selfish, but honestly I don't think I care right now. I need to get this off my chest. During these months that you were here. I tried to hate you. I really did. I mean, you are living with my daugher miles away from me and I thought 'why is it fair that you get to see her everyday, to hold her and I don't?' I know you noticed that I didn't want to speak to you after talking to Seoyeon because I could see it in your face and the look you would give me hurted me. Hurted me like hell. And I couldn’t understand why. But then one day it hit me." He stopped to take a deep breath and squeezed his eyes for a moment before letting a low "Fuck" come out of his lips. "I can't stand looking at your face through a screen because it tells me that I can't have you back. It fucking rubs on my face that I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. And I uncounsciously thought that if I distanced myself from you I would stop missing you, the pain would stop. But it just got harder." He licked his lips and raised a hand to rub his eyes that you noticed were filling with tears. "And these days here with you and Seoyeon was like when we were still together and I felt like my heart was gonna brust with happiness. But then I heard you talking to Johnny and I was brought back to reality. God. I just want to make sure that he is loving you the way I didn't. I just need to know if he treats you the way that you should be treated and that you are the happiest with him."

He opened his eyes to stare deep into yours, he smiled lovingly at you, but his eyes were full of pain. He raised a hand to pull a strand of hair behind your ear and rubbed his tumb against your cheek. It was natural for you to lean on his touch. You closed your eyes feeling them burn with the tears welled up in them. You felt your heart beat like crazy in a way that only one person ever made you feel, yet you couldn't speak. You didn't know what to do, your head was spinning and the only thing running in your mind was that you hated seeing Jaehyun like that. He chuckled humorless and you felt his thumb brushing your tears away.

"Why are you crying?" He leaned foward to rest his forehead against yours and holded the two sides of your face softly before whispering. "You are the love of my life. You have always been and always will be. I just feel stupid that I didn't realized that before." You started sobbing and he squeezed his eyes shaking his head. "Shhh, it's alright. You are the love of my life. But that doesn't mean I'm yours. I love you so so much and I just want you to be happy. And if you are happy with him. That's more than enough for me." The two of you stared into each other’s eyes closely with your foreheads still touching. He leaned foward brushing his lips softly against yours and you felt your breath go away. You stopped, you weren't thinking about anything else, just you and him right there at that moment and his lips on yours. The world seemed to fade and his touch was the only thing you could feel, his scent the only thing you could smell and his breath and your heart beat the only things you could hear. And it felt so right.

Suddenly he pulled away, like something just hit him. You opened your eyes missing his touch and you saw him standing up and rubbing his hands against his eyes. "We... You should go to sleep. You have to wake up early tomorrow." And with that he left to his room.

The rest of the night felt like a blur to you. You went to your own room and layed on the bed, but you couldn't sleep right away. You had a thousand thoughts running through your mind and your heart was in a pace you didn't think was healthy.

You didn't realized when you slept, but you woke up with Seoyeon climbing into your bed and sitting on your belly to lay on top of you.

"Mama. Mama!" She said poking your cheek, you hugged her and opened your eyes looking at her with a smile. "Uncle is there." You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at the clock on the nightstand. You knew that by uncle she ment Jaehyun's manager, but you didn't know why he was there at that time. You stood up and followed the toddler into the living room.

" Morning, y/n. I'm sorry to come here at this time, but Jaehyun had to leave early to a meeting and he didn't want to wake you up and neither leave Seoyeon alone."

"It's okay." You smiled softly feeling a slight headache as the consequences of the glasses from yesterday started hitting you. "But, he already left?" You couldn't help, but fell a little dissapointed at that.

"No. He actually is joining the two of you after breakfast." You nodded, thanked him for looking afyer Seoyeon and said that the two of you would take a shower and head down to the restaurant.

Once he left, you startet packing your bags and when you entered Jaehyun's bedroom you saw that both his and your daughter's bags where already packed. You took a shower with your baby, once the two of you were dressed and all was packed you headed down to the lobby. On your way, you thought about the night before, was he avoiding you because of what he said? Does he really mean it? Why are you you freaking out? Should you tell Johnny?

And your thoughts went like that for all the morning, you keeped looking around to check when he was coming, but there was no sight of him. The time to go to the airport was coming and he wasn't there yet.

"Y/n, I'll take you to the airport now." His manager said while carring your bags.

"But, he is not here yet."

"Don't worry. He'll join us there."

Once in the airport, you were walking inside the lobby, holding Seoyeon tightly, people would think that you were worried that she would run around, but you were worried that she would not be able to tell her father goodbye. Or maybe you were worried you wouldn't be able to talk to him. But then you saw him, standing in front of the check-in counter. You almost cursed under your breath. Why were you suddenly so nervous? He saw the two of you and walked closer.

"I'm sorry I had to leave early. I had some problems."

"It's okay." That was all you could manage to answer. He offered you a small smile and leaned down to pick his baby up.

"I wish I had more time to talk, but... My flight is in a few minutes." He said looking at you and you felt your heart sink.

"Y/n. I... I don't know what to say. I shouldn't have told you all of those things yesterday because I know you are happy. And it was stupid, but... It was all true. And-" At that moment he heard hia flight being called and you two knew that he had to go. You saw him tear up and hold his daughter against his chest tighter. He raised her a little so she would be facing him and pecked around her face making her giggle. "My sweet, baby girl. Your dad loves you so much. I'll miss you so so much. Be good to your mother, okay? Take care of her." You saw your daughter pout slightly and widen her eyes and you knew what would come next. He pecked her forehead again and she whispered a low "I love you, dada." while burrying her face in his neck. He smile putting her on the floor again. "I love you more, my little." When he turned to look at you, you bit your lip feeling your hands shaking a little.

"And you." He reached to rub you cheek with his thumb. "Just be happy." He leaned foward and you felt his lips linger on your forehead. "I'll see you soon, love of my life." His flight was called again making he move away from you. He nodded softly and reached to caress Seoyeon's head one last time before leaving to take the plane back home.

author’s note: Hi!! I had more things to put on this part, but it was already sooo big... I’ll do a part 3.  Just let me know what you think!! I really appreciate feedbacks Thank you so much for reading!!! <3 BTW i was so excited to post i didnt proofread sorry if there are any mistakes

[jonahlovescoffee]

Night Changes | J.M.

a/n this fanfic is inspired by one direction’s hit song with the same title. u can also listen to jonah’s cover of the same song here.This is the first complete fanfic I’ve ever written in my entire pathetic life and it has been rotting away in my files app for a while now lol u can see how insecure i was (and am) to put this out here but here it is anyways :’) any constructive criticism is appreciated <3 happy reading!!

summary: the death of his friend’s girlfriend made Jonah realize that nothing in life is permanent, including you.

warnings: mentions of death

word count: 2136

“We're only getting older, baby; And I've been thinking about it lately; Does it ever drive you crazy; Just how fast the night changes?”

It was yet another ordinary weekend night where Jonah and his band were gathered in the little studio of Daniel’s home, busy composing new music for their upcoming album without a care in the world when Corbyn’s phone rang all of a sudden.

Corbyn’s eyebrows raised in surprise when he saw the caller ID on the screen before sliding the answer button to the right and excusing himself from the small room to take the call. No one thought much about it and proceeded with their songwriting process. However, when half an hour passed with Corbyn’s absence, that was when Jonah’s gut feeling told him that something wasn’t right. He brushed that thought off as quick as it entered his mind, trying his best to ignore the fact that he caught a glimpse of the caller ID and it was his girlfriend’s mother calling him, which was undeniably weird. As his roommate and best friend, Jonah could confirm that she had never called Corbyn unless there was an emergency. Heck, the last time she called him was when her car broke down somewhere in downtown LA and Corbyn was the only one she knew who lived close enough to pick her up.

His suspicion was soon proven right when Corbyn barged into the room seconds later with tears running down his cheeks nonstop like a river. Daniel, who was seated the closest to the door jumped up in shock just as Corbyn fell into his arms and started sobbing. The other boys made their ways to them as Daniel patted Corbyn’s back in attempt to calm him down.

“What’s wrong?” Zach asked curiously and Jack elbowed him on the arm. “Ow, what was that for?” Zach exclaimed, earning a glare from the other male that clearly said, “Can’t you wait until he stops crying to pry for answers?”

“She killed herself,” Corbyn managed to say between sobs.

“Who?” Daniel asked softly.

“My girlfriend,” the 4 boys’ breaths hitched in utter shock. None of them were expecting this news in forever. Madeline was the most cheerful and optimistic girl Jonah had ever met. She brought sunlight and joy into every room she entered. Were those traits of hers merely a mask to hide all the despair and anxiety underneath? It didn’t make any sense whatsoever.

“My sweetheart killed herself,” Corbyn repeated, mostly to himself with a hint of disbelief in his tone. It was evident that he was still having a hard time letting the fact sink in. “We just went out for dinner last night and now she’s gone. Forever. She didn’t even say goodbye. What should I do? How can I live without her?”

“She should’ve said something. I could’ve done so much to help her instead of letting her die just like that. I saw the scars on her hand last night but I assumed it was nothing serious. It’s my fault. I could’ve stepped in and save her but I didn’t. Why? Why?!” Corbyn screamed and tugged at his hair frustratedly.

Silence ensued, the only sound being Corbyn’s uncontrollable sobs. No one said anything because they knew that no words were powerful enough to comfort him for the time being. The most they could do was be there for him.

#

Jonah pulled up in your driveway in the middle of the night. He left his house right away after ensuring that Corbyn was sound asleep in his room in fear of his best friend trying anything stupid under the influence of tremendous grief. He knew that you were probably asleep at this hour and he should’ve waited until the morning to pay you a visit but he couldn’t wait any longer. Madeline’s death had made him realise that nothing in life lasts forever and he wanted—no, needed—to be by your side tonight to make up for the past few days of neglecting you because of work.

After some debating in his head whether to wake you up from your deep slumber like an ignorant boyfriend or just turn around and go home, he turned off the engine and rushed out of his car and onto your doorstep before he could change his mind. He used the same key you gave him months ago to unlock the front door and was then greeted by a silent pitch black, empty living room. He locked the door with a soft click behind him before tiptoeing up the stairs and entering your room. He made sure to keep his movements as silent as possible as he knew better than anyone that you were a terribly light sleeper and could be awoken easily by the softest sounds. He took off his shoes and joined you on the king-sized bed, wrapping his arms around your sleeping figure gently to pull you closer to him. He contentedly nuzzled your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo that smelled like cherry blossoms and spring air. It was only then he felt truly at ease, with you perfectly safe and sound in his arms.

As he half expected, you stirred from your sleep, wiggling your body slightly before turning towards him, your arms habitually made their way around his neck even in your half-awake state. You couldnt help but smile when you felt him tightening his arms around you like he was holding onto you for dear life. “Hey, love,” you mumbled groggily, staring up at him with droopy eyelids in your pyjamas that had bunny patterns all over them that you were more than embarrassed to be seen in by anyone but you could care less since Jonah had been your boyfriend long enough to know about your preference for childish pyjamas over mature flimsy nightgowns. “What brings you here?”

“Just wanna see you,” he replied with a smile. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and took a moment to drink in your beauty—the crinkle by your eyes when you smile, you supple lips and the freckles on your cheeks that were illuminated by the soft moonlight that shone through the windows—all ordinary features of yours that you had never been particularly fond of but were all made perfect in his eyes. He was lucky to have the chance of calling you his, but Madeline’s unexpected death that night made him wonder how long this could last? Without realising, he let his mind drift further into the sea of uncertainties of the future, getting more anxious by the second, especially when he was met with the thought of ever losing you one day.

“Jo, are you okay?” You asked worriedly when you noticed his tense expression. He offered you a meek smile in return. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he replied, but his furrowed brows claimed otherwise.

“You’re not fooling anyone with that face, dear. What’s wrong?” You watched him stay silent for a while as if he was trying to come up with a suitable answer to your question.

”I just...can I stay over tonight with you?” He asked and you let out a hum in agreement, your hands rubbing soothing patterns down his back. Even after all this time, he still hadn’t managed to get rid of the old habit of asking for your permission to spend the night at your place although he knew that you would agree without hesitation every single time he did so. You wanted nothing more than to find out what was going on in his head at that moment but he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk, so you pushed your questions aside for later.

Both of you stayed like that for who knew how long, unmoving, limbs tangled with each other’s as the cool night breeze wafted into the room through the opened windows. “Madeline died,” he said out of the blue, breaking the silence. Shock was an understatement to what you felt. You couldn’t believe your ears. You weren’t exactly best friends with Madeline but still close enough to hang out together occasionally when both of you were free from your hectic schedules, mainly because Jonah and her used to have a thing for each other back in high school before she got with Corbyn so there had always been a tinge of awkwardness between you two. Yet this news hit you hard all the same.

Tears welled up in your eyes before you knew it. “When?”

“Few hours ago,” Jonah answered, his hand stroking your hair with the utmost gentleness, which prompted your tears to resume falling. He let you cry it all out without a single complaint about your tears staining his shirt. “She took her own life.”

“Why?” You sniffled and he shook his head. “No one knows; I guess even the most optimistic person on earth has her invisible demons too,” he said with a sigh.

“Is that the reason why you came here tonight?” You wiped your tears away with the long sleeves of your shirt as you took several deep breaths to recompose yourself, bracing yourself for his answer. Old feelings die hard, that was what you always hear people said, especially your first love. Part of you were scared that Jonah still harboured feelings for her even after all this years and you were nothing but an emotional support rebound tonight.

“Yes and no. I came here after hearing about the news, yes, but I’m not here to mourn about her, for now,” he added the last two words hastily in case you get the wrong idea and thought that he was being rude. You were ashamed for feeling extremely relieved that his answer wasn’t what you expected. “I came here to make up for the past few days of absence and make sure that you’re alright. Have you ever, you know, done that?”

It took you few seconds to get what he meant. “Of course not, Jo. I promise you, I never tried self-harm before, and I never will,” you replied truthfully.

“Thank god,” he sighed with relief and planted a tender kiss on your forehead, “I don’t know what I’d do if you said yes.”

“You know that you’ll be the first one I talk to if I have anything bothering me, right?” You took his hand in yours while staring at him expectantly for an answer but none came. “Jonah, please don’t tell me that you seriously think that I’m someone who resorts to harming myself when the going gets tough?”

“I...I don’t know,” he admitted sheepishly which earned a sigh from you, a small smile tugging at your lips. You still couldn’t believe how this man in front of you—a confident rising boyband star—could get so worked up over a plain girl like you. He swallowed thickly before continuing, “Today made me question everything I know like how long this relationship can last—how long we’ll get to stay us until the world decides to tear us apart. We always said we’ll be together until the end of times but so did Corbyn and Madeline and look at them now. Madeline just....left without a word to anyone. I know it’s stupid but I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and now I’m being such a sap and you probably are disgusted —”

“Jonah, stop. You’re over-thinking everything. I’m not disgusted at you, not even one bit,” you raised a hand to his cheek and traced a thumb over it tenderly, knowing that this simple gesture never failed to soothe his raging emotions. “It’s normal to feel this way, love. But whenever you do, please remember this: there’s nothing to be afraid of because I love you so much, Jonah Marais Roth Frantzich, that I can never ever think of hurting myself because I know that that’ll hurt you; I love you so much that I started crying a little less, smiling a little more because I know that no matter how hard my day is, I’ll always have you to come home to.”

You watched as a tear escaped from him. “I don’t know what the future holds but I can promise you this,” you locked your eyes with his, your gaze filled with the utmost love and adoration in contrast with his worried one. “No matter how fast the night changes, it’ll never change me and you.”

“You promise?” His lips curled upwards into a small smile as he leaned in, leaving only an inch between your lips, your breaths mingling with each other’s. As always, butterflies erupted in your stomach at the close proximity as you mirrored his expression with a sweet smile of your own.

“Forever and always,” you breathed and he closed the distance between your lips, sealing the promise.

[modern-vellichor]

Withdrawal

Chapter One

Summary: Shes broken and bruised, and so are they. But at least she can't remember when shes sad; but god can they.

Warning: Substance abuse, alcohol, cigarettes, smoking, implied smut, self deprecation, self hate, destructive behaviour

Pairing: Steve x reader

"Trust me, Rogers", Tony sighs into Steve's ear as they push and shove through the crowd of stone-drunks and druggies.

"If you're finding her in a place like this, I don't think we should trust her", Steve states back.

Purple and blue light dances around them, and so do the nearly naked bodies of the 20-somethings surrounding them. The air reeked of sweat and cheap vodka, crushed pills and fine white powder dusted almost every surface, and smoke wafted all around them.

They really needed help. Something was coming, and they couldn't figure out how to stop it. Every day was the same: wake up, new theory, failed theory, repeat. Tony got so fed up that he decided to finally call on an old friend for help, except she didn't answer. She never called him back, or answered his texts, or his emails. And so he hunted her down, and now they were pushing their way through a sweaty and drugged up crowd of young adults in a sketchy bar.

Then they reached it, a doorway covered with a thin mesh curtain. A group of people, younger, all in their early twenties. A girl who was very clearly in charge sat in the middle of all of them, one hand gripped a cigarette loosely, it looked at home between her fingers, the other was latched around the back of a petite boys neck, small and blonde and so desperate to please her - to please you.

Your skin has a grey tinge to it, gaunt and daunting. Your eyes were dull and hazy, dark circles prominent. You looked ill, but you grinned nonetheless.

You brought the cigarette to your lips, inhaling with a small grin, unaware of the three men towering in the doorway, Bucky had joined them on the mission. They watched as the blonde boy passed a violently green pill to you, and you opened your mouth for him, sticking your tongue out, and playfully biting his finger before you swallowed the drug whole.

Tony coughed. He looked at home, and Bucky showed no emotion, but Steve was wildly uncomfortable, and apparently it showed.

You downed the last of the amber liquid in a glass on the small table, before gently shoving your boytoy away and standing up. You swayed for a moment before steadying and making your way to the group.

"You shouldn't have brought blondie over here, Stark. This isn't his scene, look at him", you scolded softly, the corners of Steve's mouth lifted slightly. You turned to him before speaking again, hazy eyes meeting his. "Let's go somewhere a little more quiet, yeah?"

The group nodded and you lead them through the crowd until you descended a staircase and made your way into a sleek looking room, and silence settled comfortably over the group. You discarded your cigarette along the way and so you made yourself comfortable on the leather chair behind the desk and lit another.

The three men got comfortable on a little leather couch. Tony sighed.

"How bad is it gonna be tomorrow?", he asked softly.

"Real bad", you chuckled dryly.

Steve wasn't so sure what Tony meant, but he was almost sure that he was talking about the aftermath of whatever you had taken. Bucky still stayed emotionless.

"How much have you had?", Tony asked again.

"Enough that if I have any more I think I might just die", again you laughed, you had an air of clear nonchalance about the whole situation. You seemed completely aware of everything, yet your pupils were dilating rapidly, and you were slurring your words, and swaying when you stood.

"So, Tony and the Golden Boys", you chided. "What do you want?"

"We need your help", Steve pleaded. You looked as if you would have argued relentlessly if Tony had asked the same, but your hazy eyes met his baby blues and you smiled.

"Tomorrow", you said, and Tony nodded.

"C'mon, Y/N, let's get you home, yeah?", you stamped out the cigarette and nodded, gladly falling into Steve's arms. The men carried you out of the bar and into the car they had come in, and took you back to the compound. Steve had let you stay in his room, tucking you into bed and sitting awake on the uncomfortable plastic desk chair he never used, just in case something happened in the night and he slept through it.

It was three in the morning when she began to shake lightly and broke out into cold sweats. Steve got a little nervous, but simply sat himself against the headboard and left you alone. After a half hour, you were shaking uncontrollably and drenched in sweat. Steve was trying desperately to calm you down, he had a cold face cloth over your forehead, and was running a hand through your hair and cooing softly. And when that didnt work, he scooped you into his arms and ran until he found Tony. The panic only really set in when Tony couldnt stop it either. Tony feigned calmness and dialed an unfamiliar number into his phone. Steve narrowed his eyes when the blonde boy from earlier waltzed in.

He surveyed the scene with mild interest before pulling a familiar orange bottle out of his pocket, he slipped one into your mouth and you swallowed instinctively. Less than twenty minutes passed before you had fallen back into a peaceful sleep.

"What's your name, kid?", Steve grunted as the boy turned to leave.

"Luca. Oh, by the way", he turned and threw the bottle at Steve. "These are for when she gets antsy"

"How do I know when to give her one?"

"Oh, you'll know", and with that he was gone.

When Steve woke the next morning, you and Tony had already started working in the conference room. Papers and Manila folders scattered across the table.

You worked in silence, the three of you together, until you found a lead, and the three of you gathered the necessary people and set off.

You drove in silence, dusk settling over the city. It was well near dark by the time Tony stopped outside of a sketchy looking club.

"You sure this is the place?", he said to you, surveying the building with care. Bucky was in the backseat next to Steve, and he watched you intently, Steve noted this.

You pulled out your phone, double checked something typed into your notes and nodded, getting out of the car.

You took one last look of the building before pulling off your sweater throwing it into the car. You unbuttoned your shirt and tied it up, pulling your sweatpants to your hip bones and smudging your mascara. Then you turned to Bucky with puppy dog eyes; "Bucky, can I borrow your jacket?"

He shrugged the heavy leather off without a second thought, throwing it gently around your shoulders.

"Why is it so important for you to look the part?", Steve asked, he came off more hostile than intended, thrown off by Bucky's gentle actions.

"Because if I look the part", you shook out your hair until it was messy and wild. "You don't have to"

You lit a cigarette and waltzed in like you owned the place, Bucky close behind, Tony and Steve keeping their distance. You were at home in the atmosphere, taking everything and anything offered to you as you pushed through the crowd, until you were shaking your head 'no', and leaning on Bucky for support. But still, you had a clear head and a mission, and made your way to the tall man with dark hair who dominated the back section of the club.

"Duke?", you asked sternly, he towered over you, but you crossed your arms and kept a straight face, Bucky looming behind your shoulder.

"Who's asking?", he shot back.

Steve watched from a distance as the two of you talked and eventually argued, and then followed you out of the club when you turned on your heel and stormed out. He was also the first to join you in your room after you had left for the evening.

He knocked gently, peeking around the corner and shuffling in. He sat at the edge of your bed, and when you patted the mattress next to you, had gotten comfortable against the headboard. You curled into his side. He hesitantly threw an arm around your shoulders and you only nuzzled further into him. You fell asleep like that, wrapped around each other.

Over the coming weeks you became dependant on him, and he worried about you. He worried when you came home drunk out of your mind or stoned to the edge of oblivion, but you always sobered up. It was the late nights that scared him, when you had already fallen asleep and begun to shake, and the only thing that seemed to stop it was the little green pills that he kept on him at all times.

He had been taught from the very beginning that addicts needed help, so slowly but surely he reduces your dose, crushing the pill and only giving you fractions of it. Until it was half, and you still seemed to be fine.

The weeks went on and your work piled up. You hardly ever left your desk, you and Tony working side by side, day through night. Steve spent his nights cold and alone and longing for you back in his bed. With your nights spent huddled up under dim lamp light, you hardly had any time to go out. You stole a few minutes for a cigarette on the roof every few hours, but that was all. Steve couldn't help but smile knowing how much better you were.

You looked constantly tired, but your smile was brighter and wider. Pictures of you and Tony lined the walls of your cramped little office.

Every few days you disappeared, saying your were checking up on your cramped little apartment. You always came back with a fresher air about you, happy and doe eyed. Steve longed to be invited on your little day trips to whatever life you hid from him. He didnt want to only be your night life, to be the only thing you could depend on when stash grew low. He dropped subtle hints here and there, little suggestions. He wondered if your house was anything like you. If its walls were bright and it was clean, or if it was unorganised and dark, curtains drawn permanently shut.

One day he found out. You couldnt find your car keys and asked Steve for a ride. He was more than eager to help, talking nonstop the short drive there. Your apartment was small, cramped. It was neat. Plants littered every surface, all alive and thriving.

"How are your plants still alive?", he pondered aloud.

"Luca waters them for me"

Steve sighed internally. Although Luca hardly ever came up in conversation, his existence plagued Steve. He couldnt get the image of how eager he was to please you, of how you held so much power over him. He didnt dare to imagine what the two of you had done previous to your introduction. He was lost in his self destructive train of thought the entire visit. When you grabbed his bicep and gave a reassuring squeeze, he was pulled back to reality and you returned to the compound.

You slipped into his room that evening. He could smell the hint of old whiskey and smoke on your breath, but he didnt mind. He drank you up, swallowing you whole. He crowded you into the mattress until you sang a song that was only for him. He was sweet and soft, but so distant once it ended. You could never forget, thighs rubbed raw from the scratch of his beard, lungs aching from lack of breath. But he simply rolled over and fell asleep. Some evenings, he would hold you close and tight and never let go, keep you tight there. Most, though, you had to curl against the broad expanse of your back and hope for some attention in return. And it never came on nights like this, but you tried anyway.

You were gone in the morning, as per usual, but he couldnt find you elsewhere. Not could he find Tony or Bucky, and that's when he realised that they had left without him.

[bloodycassian]

darkness defined - 

az or cass x reader idk if this makes sense or not but here we go, either az or cas POV where reader (their mate) was stuck under the mountain with rhys and doesn’t come back bc she is still locked in the dungeons (rhys just assumed she died, he doesn’t know she is still alive)  Switch to readers POV, a few months later where they think their mate and their family (the night court) has abandoned them bc nobody ever came looking for her. Reader is like on the verge of death and uses her last energy to send a pulse down the bond. Switch back to az or cas POV  who are basically freaking out with guilt and anger and worried-ness. Im sorry it’s super long don’t feel pressured to write this anytime soon idk if it even makes sense  

DONT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SPECIFIC! I LOVE WORKING WITH THIS KIND OF STUFF PLEASE DO MORE LOL

Cassian was a wreck. From the moment Rhys came home alone, and until the end of time it seemed to be. Azriel sighed, watching his brother down his second bottle of alcohol. His eyes were red, face gaunt and pale. The circles under those tortured eyes looked more like bruises. 

He hadn't talked to Rhys much since the news came that you were gone. Cassian had practically blown the roof off the house of wind, then disappeared for two weeks. The only reason Rhys had let him was because Az followed, far behind just to make sure he wasn't going to do anything drastic. 

Azriel watched his brother circle the mountain, only to have to turn away. Wards made by Helion himself refused entry to anyone while the mountain was still being evacuated of Fae. He glared daggers at the people streaming outside the shield. His heart was a painful stab in his chest constantly. His mate.. gone. He refused to believe it. And Azriel saw the denial there, plain as day. 

Azriel had only stopped him once. When he packed a bag and started his flight to Hybern. He earned a black eye and a verbal lashing for that, but it had saved Cassian from going on a suicide mission.

After a month of being out, he went to his brother. Rhys refused to ask Helion to lower the shields around the Mountain, and finally Cassian seemed to give up. He would have gone to Helion himself, but the wards around his court prevented him from doing so. Rhys was torn up over the entire experience of under the mountain, but losing you was one of the worst parts. He would never forgive himself for losing his brother's mate. 

Azriel watch his brother's eyes get more and more dull. Watched the bottles stack up. Rhys wasn't around much, busy regaining control over his city, getting updated. And keeping an eye on Spring Court.  Cassian sighed when the bitter liquid hit his tongue. He drank like it was salvation. Like it would lead him back to you. Plus, it helped him sleep. It was the only time he could sleep without seeing you, without feeling that pull - the command his instincts gave. "Find me, find me. I'm here. I love you. Please."  He often escaped to the cabin. To not have to talk to anyone, and to keep Rhys from stealing his bottles from him. Cassian was convinced Rhys was saving them to drink for himself. That's where he found himself flying, bottle of booze in hand. The guilt a lead weight in his stomach. 

The door shut, and he finished the first bottle in an hour. 

Mor appeared beside him, took the second bottle from his hand and had a long drink herself. He smiled drunkenly, showing too many teeth at her. He wasn't sure if she was actually glowing or if it was his eyes squinting too much. "Cheers." He slurred, taking the bottle back and downing more.

+ The walls were getting drier and drier with each passing day. The once cool winds that would cut through the stone dungeons were turning softer, warmer. It was a welcome relief, but without the muddy water from the walls...you knew you didn't have much left. Your spirit was crushed, on top of it. Death seemed like not a terrible option anymore.  Especially knowing that your court - your friends - your family had left you. They had just... forgotten. Thrown you aside like nothing. Didn't even try to find you. Like the Winter court skeleton in the cell beside you, just left to die.

  You pushed the thoughts back, knowing that logically that wasn't true. But you couldnt come up with a reason why they would leave you down here. You prayed, you tried sending thoughts down the bond. Nothing worked. Sometimes your mind got the better of you, and you would rush to the bars of your prison cell when you thought you heard faint footsteps. 

Then you would hear your own voice echo back, and no one else.  Eventually you stopped getting up. You let the fantasies keep you entertained while you lay on the floor. Not caring about the bugs that crawled on you. You were glad there wasn't a mirror to see yourself in. A wave of dizziness crashed over you, and you fell into darkness. 

When the water ran dry, you stopped bothering calling out for Cassian. The bond was there, but saturated. Trying to grasp it was like trying to hold wind. You were too exhausted. So you propped yourself up in a corner and let the dizziness pull you under again for a moment. Taking rattling breaths, you let your mind wander to that mind bridge. That once sturdy marble that would always remind you of Cassian. 

You sent out a final tug down that bond. Using the last of your energy, you put all your effort into it. "I'm here, I always will be. I love you. I'm sorry." The platform you imagined your bond being seemed to go dark, and lifeless. Empty.

+ Cassian shot upright, head spinning. Mor was asleep beside him, her feet on the table. He shook her, trying to shake the stupor. "Wake up. Wake up!" She groaned, weakly batting him away. He took a breath, trying to steady himself. He wobbled to the kitchen, dunked his head in the cold sink water and slapped himself a few times. The haziness from his stupor crawled away, slowly. 

Mor appeared in the archway, rubbing her eyes.

"Get Rhys. I need you to winnow us." He demanded, patting her face softly. Her eyebrows knit together but she stretched, and sleepily obliged.  + You assumed the crackling was just your starved imagination. Again. But the wind changed as well, and you tried not to let your hopes up. You weakly opened your eyes, to the same familiar cell. A silent tear slid down your cheek.  Then there were the shuffling of footsteps again, and you hid your face in your hands. It seemed like all the imagination tricks were attacking at once. You wanted it to stop. You wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep until you could see and hold Cassian again. Voices, now.

The sweet deep voice of a man who spoke another language. An ancient language. Your ears rang. You cracked your eyes again, to a blinding white light. You held a hand in front of your face, trying to see behind it. 

A thud, and scrape of metal. Then the scent hit you. It was similar to what you had imagined but somehow a million times better. Then, his arms were around you. "Mother above." He breathed. You would have thought the mother took you at last if it wasnt for the pain in your gut.

"We got you honey, I'm so sorry. Im-" He tried to hold back a sob. You smiled weakly at the familiar, yet different eyes that you loved. The marble platform you shared seemed to be lighting up with happiness. At the same time, crumbling and falling with shame. Anguish. 

Rhys began winnowing the group immediately, nodding to Helion. The high lord gave him a melancholy smile back, and winnowed himself in a flash of light. He would check the rest of the mountain with his forces and repair the wards before he returned to his home. 

Everyone surrounded the healer, watching her work. Mor was trying to stay calm, but her hands shook when she held Amrens. Rhys and Azriel both had jaws clenched, shoulders tense. Watching the way Cassian's tears fell on to your shoulder as he cradled you. The healer squeezed  his arm softly, silently requesting him to move. He didn't.

Azriel went to his brother, wrapping an arm around him. "Your mate needs you to be strong, Cas." He consoled, pulling him away gently. Cassian held you tighter, just for a second then nodded and let go. He held your hand firmly. His warmth missing from your body was a shock. You began shivering. Amren tugged a blanket off the guest couch nearby and placed it over your legs. 

"T-thanks." you muttered. Her eyes widened, but she nodded. Her and Rhys glanced to each other. A silent conversation. You didnt care. 

"Cas?" You squeezed his hand, and there he was. His pale face looked ragged. He seemed like he was struggling in every sort of way. You didnt want to imagine what he was looking at when he looked at your features. You could practically feel your cheeks sinking in, your bones losing their density. "I missed you." You smiled, trying to lift his mood. 

His lips quivered, and he nodded. He kissed the back of your hand. "You wouldnt believe how much I missed you. All of us did." he glanced to Rhys. His face was blank, but that steady stream of power seemed to be crackling outside. 

You let your eyes drift to each of your friends. Each of their tear stained faces were such a welcome relief. Over a month alone, their presence alone was enough to soothe that part of you that doubted their love. 

Cassian kissed your forehead, before the healer's light knocked you into a peaceful sleep. 

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Strangers (Pt.7)

-------------------------

"So the necklaces are magic then?" Logan said, twisting the unicorn necklace in his hands.

"Looks like it, but I'm more interested in how similar their owners look to us," said Janus, who had taken the book from Virgil's hands to examine the pages.

Virgil, meanwhile, was still frozen stiff.

"Virgil?. . ." Patton placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder and shook him slightly.

"We have to put them on. . ." Virgil whispered.

"What do you mean?" Patton said, tilting his head.

"We have to learn how to use these abilities in order to bring Romulus down, we have to wear the necklaces to use the abilities. . ." Virgil said, hand running over the gems embedded in the spider necklace.

"Virgil- I promise if anything weird happens we'll take them off, ok? Tear them off our necks if you have to, we arent going to hurt you," Patton said softly,now realizing what was going on in Virgil's head.

Virgil merely nodded as he watched each of his friends clip the necklaces around their necks.

It felt familiar in a way,but Virgil didnt want to think about it.

"Ok, step one, I'm going home," Virgil said.

This was followed immediately by a chorus of protests.

"Nonono think about it! Romulus will never let us get near him if we stand on opposite sides, he needs to think I've decided to trust him again, I need to be able to lure him out so he's vunerable," Virgil said. The others looked at each other and back at him a few times, before finally nodding.

"Be careful, for our sake as well as yours," Janus said, giving Virgil one last hug before he walked out the door.

He'd been expecting Romulus when he got home of course, but what he hadnt expected was being caught against the door.

"You know Virgil, for someone with such vivid nightmares I'd think you had a better memory," Romulus snarled.

"R-Romulus what are you-" Virgil was shaking already- gods why couldnt he be as brave as he'd been in the library.

And then it hit him.

The first night he'd met Romulus, before he'd even realized that his beloved roman was no longer himself.

"W-wait Romulus its not- I didnt-" Virgil could feel his heart rate quickening.

"Oh dont worry princess, I'm actually quite happy you found that book, this facade was getting dreadfully dull to keep up," Romulus purred, Virgil was practically begging for an escape route of some sort.

"As you've probably figured out, I'm not your precious Roman, and I never was, this is merely a vessel, and you? Merely a pawn to win back my kingdom~" said Romulus, lifting Virgil's face up by his chin.

"A pawn can become a Queen if it survives long enough," Virgil said with a snarl.

"Aw, how cute, you act as though that's not exactly what I have planned~" Romulus said, now letting go of Virgil's face.

"Try to get some rest princess, I'll be making dinner," Romulus cooed as he walked away.

Virgil stood in the doorway for a few more minutes before finally retreating to his room to change.

Only to find all of his clothes had been replaced by crimsons and reds and golds and blacks, all dresses or sheer or just in general things he'd never wear of his own accord.

He debated sleeping in his mud-soaked clothes instead, but ultimately decided that it was better to sleep in a night gown rather than get sick or track mud on the sheets, not to mention, it would make Romulus happy, and that was integral to the plan.

It was about an hour before Romulus had walked into the room and shook Virgil awake.

"Dinners ready princess," Romulus said quietly. Virgil stretched and sat up, keeping one eye open when he rubbed another.

"I see you found your new wardrobe, I think it suits you much better than purple and black," Romulus said as he pulled Virgil off the bed and into the dining room.

The food tasted good of course, but Virgil could now immediately recognize something off about it, but he couldnt make himself suspicious.

"I'm sorry for running away. . ." Virgil mumbled.

"Its alright princess, you're here now, and you wont be leaving again," said Romulus.

"Of course not," Virgil replied.

Virgil couldnt have been happier when Romulus finally fell asleep, as soon as he heard snoring, he made a move to the basement.

Something about it all seemed familiar, in an unhappy sense, I left a bitter taste in Virgil's mouth to be standing in the dark basement, watching as creatures he wouldnt have wanted to see in his worst nightmares formed and dissipated in front of him.

Romulus didnt suspect a thing in the morning, or at least, he didnt seem to, which was, mildly concerning.

But it didnt matter to Virgil now, he had to practice at some point, and the night time was the safest he could think of.

The nightmares became easy eventually, but it was getting harder and harder to pretend he'd had a good nights rest in front of Romulus.

"Princess are you sure you're well? You look dreadfully tired," said Romulus, rubbing circles into Virgil's shoulders- gods it felt good.

Virgil bit back a yawn, "I'm fine Romulus- I promise, just a rough night-" Virgil said.

"Well perhaps youd like a nap then?" Said Romulus.

"I-"

"No no, I insist, let's get you back in bed," said Romulus, rather uncharacteristically, which only served to further Virgil's concerns.

And he was right to be concerned, because he woke up so tightly wrapped in sheets that he could barely move his arms.

"Romulus! I'm awake!" Vitgil called helplessly.

"I know princess, but I dont think you've gotten quite enough sleep, unless of course, you want to try out the last part of those nightly lessons~" Romulus said as he walked into the room.

"Its your choice princess, a little bit of necromancy, or stay trapped here until your friends come to rescue you and inevitably fail, again~" Romulus said tauntingly.

Virgil weighed his options for a few moments.

"Alright- fine-" he said through gritted teeth, if only he hadnt been to cowardly to perform it before, he might never have been in this mess.

Romulus walked over and quite easily moved him out of the bedding.

Virgil sat up and stared foward, expression blank, and raised a hand.

And soon enough a figure rose from seemingly nowhere, dressed in gilded blacks golds and crimsons, with rusty red hair, and eyes as black as charcoal.

Virgil heard a laugh, and turned to find a slump of white and red breathing on the bed behind him.

The figure he'd just raised was the one laughing, a manic cackle only accentuated by the clear decay.

Romulus wasn't unattractive by any means, but time certainly hadnt been kind to him.

But the only thing Virgil could focus on was that, yes, he had his husband back, but he'd just unleashed his worst enemy in their home.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@that-peach-anon

@baka-monarch

@lazyboneslover

@lovelivingmydreams

@coffeeoverdosedshipper

@extraintrovertedalien

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@pricklyfish777

@the-sad-strawberry

@itsnithbabey

@private-snippers

@0exterc0

@rich-flower-17

@theonetruebeepboop

@mycatshuman

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

@meowthefluffy

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

[arthurflecksgirl]

Reader finds out she`s pregnant with Arthur`s child

@jaraysha1121 requested this one! Thank you so much for the lovely request!!! I really, really, really hope you will like the result :)

Arthur humming quietly into your ear was the perfect way to wake up in the morning. Smelling his hair, that felt tickelish into your face while he kissed you awake was. You just wished that all of this, his bed hair in the morning, him humming oldies in the kitchen while making coffee, his skin on yours at night, would never come to end end.

You have been together for one year now but it felt like you had known him before the beginning of time. Having him in your arms felt like holding the entire universe in your hands. Like anything was possible and there was nothing that you weren`t able to face together. Arthur was your muse, your inspiration. Your proof that no matter how cruel life has been to you, there is still hope to stay gentle at heart and to end up being loved. It was just the same the other way around. You ended up being Arthurs salvation. His soul mate. Everything he ever hoped for and daydreamed about. You and him. It was just fate.

"Hey Y/N. I made you some tea. I hope you feel better this morning? I noticed you couldnt find sleep tonight?" He handed you the cup "Careful, its still very hot." You took a careful sip and put it back on the table. " Arthur crawled back on the couch with you, so you took him under the green blanket. He softly kissed your cheek.

"Um...yeah well I feel better now" you lied.  You didnt wanted him to be worried about you, since Arthur worried about you a lot. Whenever he thought there was the slightest chance for you to get sick or cold or anthing that made you feel uncomforable. He would ask you every five minutes if you already felt better, which was beyond adorable, but still, you didnt wanted him to get worried, because after a while he tended to get nervous and anxious , and that wasnt good for his mental health and insomnia at all. So yo decited to try to hide it from him. But he just knew you so well.

"Are you sure, baby? You seem like there is something wrong? You didnt even ate your fave cookies yesterday. The plate is still full so... I got evidence!" He joked and pulled your nose. "No, I`m fine, Artie, really. I mean.I just woke up beside you. How on earth wouldnt I feel great?" You took another sip of tea.

"Yeah..." Arthur lit himself a cig and stared at the ceiling while his arm was wrapped around you "You know, I just wish we could do this more often. The sleepover.  But its very diffucult to hide you from my mother. I dont know how she would react if she knew that a girl was sleeping in the living room."

You nodded. It was obvious that Arthur loved his mum but he was also afraid to get into a confrontation with her. He would only confront her with anything if there was absolutely no other way to handle it. So you sneaked into his apartment when Penny was already asleep.

"Sooo what if she just wakes up and walks through the living room? She will notice me for sure."

Arthur shook his head while he took a deep drag of his cig "She will not wake up".

"What do you mean?"

"She took some sleeping pills yesterday. Well... I made her do it but...anyway..." he stroke your hair "Dont worry abut that okay? She will still be asleep for the next few hours for sure. And even if she will wake up, she would be so confused, you could just hide under the blanket and she wouldnt notice anything."

"I see... you thought of anything didnt you? I wonder what she would sayif she knew there was a girl on the couch."

Arthur leaned in to kiss your ear "Just think of what she would do if she knew what I did with this girl last night...?!"

You smirked "Yeah that was definitely helping with feeling better."

"So what do you think she would do?"

"She would tell you you`re a naughty boy"

Arthur put the cig in his pink ashtray and  kissed you passionately.

"Yeah...being naughty is fun isnt it?"

You nodded under the sweet pressure of his lips.

You tried to be as quiet as possible, even though he claimed that Penny wouldnt wake up.  She was still in the back of your mind. There was something about the thought of being caught that you really liked.

Arthur checked the clock "Oh. I gotta go to work now. I`m pretty late. " He got up from the couch and grabbed his clown gear. You stood up to change your clothes as you realized how your head was spinning. Arthur didnt noticed. He was distracted by checking his bag.  " We`ll see each other on Monday, right?"

"Yeah, sure. I will visit  when you get home from work. "

Arthur grabbed the keys "Great. I cant wait to see you again, sweetheart. Any plans for today?"

You opened teh door "Yeah I will visit my best friend over the weekend. We`ll be watching movies and stuff."

You both headed down the hallway and got into the elevator "Sounds like fun" Arthur smiled at you with so much love in his eyes. His tiney wrinkles made you want to cover his beautiful face with kisses.

"What?" he asked as he noticed you staring.

"Nothing....its just...I love you so god damn much!"

Arthurs cheeks turned red "Dito!" he said, gently touching your cheek before you said goodbye. You watched him running towards the subway station. He was really late.

Being in the elevator a minute ago made your dizzyness even worse. You closed your eyes for a moment, wondering if you might catched the flu. You felt sick to the stomach for about three days now and it didnt seemed to get any better.  Hopefully it wouldnt ruin the whole weekend. You knew that your best friend bought sweets and cake but you didnt felt like eating anything at all.

Thirty minutes later you arrived. Your best friend welcomed you with the warmest hug. She was the only one who accepted your love to Arthur. Most of your other friends thought he was weird for his laughter and for still living with his mother at the age of 35. You started to realize that some of those people didnt even deserved your friendship, especially they didnt deserved to get to know the wonderful man that Arthur was.

"Hey Y/N ! I`m glad you`re here. I`ve planned something for tonight. You will be excited to hear about it. How is Arthur doing?"

You got out of your jacket and sat down on the couch "He`s doing fine. Thank you for asking. He`s on some new meds and they are much better than the last ones he had."

"I`m happy to hear this. But you kno what his best medicine is? YOU. Imean it. He looks so much healthier since the two of you meet each other on a regular basis."

Hearing those words coming out of her mouth meants the world to you "Thank you so much. I appriciate that. The others dont understand...."

"Pffff" she headed to the kitchen and came back with a huge self made pizza "Dont listen to them. They are idiots. Every single one of them. Arthur is a nice guy and he is good for you. I can see the way you look at each other. There is so much love between you."

"Yeah. I really do love him. More than anything. I think he`s my soulmate."You smiled "I understand him.  And he gets me. We get each other. We dont even have to say anything. Its just....we know. We`re the same. "

"Heyyyyy check this out" she put the huge pizza on the table in front of you "Its self made. i`m kinda proud. We will kill this delicios thing this evening. What do you think?"

Just looking at the food made you feel sick again "Um.....yeah thats....great. It looks delicious"

Your friend put her hand on your forehead "Y/N. You look kinda pale."

"Yeah...I dont feel so well....its been this way for half a week now. I can barely eat something and I feel dizzy at times and just....weird. Like...I dont know my body and mind feel funny and....I dont know....I havent slept for days..." you started crying.

"Ohhh noooo why are you crying? Is there anything going on with Arthur you wouldnt tell me?"

You wiped a tear away "No. No really. He is fine. I`m just very sensitive these days. I`m not sure why.... maybe it was all to much with the others not respecting Arthur as my boyfriend. ...I dont know....Just stressed out emotionally I think.. But I will be fine."

Your friend told you  that you didnt have to eat anything if you dont feel like it, but two hours later you decited to give it a try and grabbed a piece of her selfmade pizza. After one slice you felt so bad you coudlnt hide it from your bestie anymore "Oh my god. I think I gotta go to the bathroom" you hurried up and closed the door behind you.

"Y/N? Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah....kinda....just...I`m just sick to the stomach. I think I catched the flu or something. maybe its better for me to go home. I dont want you to get infected."

Ten minutes later you got back into the living room again. She waited for you with a big grin on her face. Why would she make fun of you feeling sick?

"Feeling better?" the grin still lingering on your lips. It kinda hurt you to see her reaction.

"No. I think I`m gonna go home. I think I have to rest until I see Arthur again on Monday.  I dont want to cancel our date. He is looking forward to it. I`m sorry thatI ruined our weekend before it even started...."

She giggled.

"Why are you laughing? Cant you see I`m feeling like shit?"

She pointed at the empty place beside her "Si down Y/N. And calm down for a second. I dont think that you`re ill at all. You feel sick to the stomach, dizzy and emotionally sensitive.....Think about what it might be."

"I dont know what you are talking about!" you yelled

"Oh I see, currently very emotional with your  reactions."

"Yeah go ahead making fun of me" you replied with a dissappointed look on your face.

"Y/N. You and Arthur I mean....you want to stay together right?"

"Of course we do!"

"You love each other to death?"

"Yeah!"

She clapped her hands "So I think Monday will be even more special when he hears the news!"

"Which news?" you still didnt understood what she was all about.

"Y/N. My dear, you might be pregnant with Arthur`s child!"

The very second you heard her saying this your heart just stopped. You tried to think about the symptoms  but all you could think about was Arthur and how he would react if this was really true. You rubbed your dimples, tried to remember how one of your friends felt like when she got pregnant.  It really could be it.

"Oh my god..." you whispered.

"YES great news. I mean....if you really are this would be great news for you, right? Hopefully...I mean...did you talked about that? You and Arthur?"

Concentrating was hard "We did....I mean....a while ago he told me how much he loves kids and that he always wanted to have a family and .....I mean look at him when he is with kids. he would be a great dad. I know he would. "

"And how do YOU feel about it?" she asked.

"I...I`m not sure....I mean...I want to spent the rest of my life with him and...the thought of being a parent is stil kinda scare, isnt it? But...yeah I think I really want to have a kid with Arthur. He is the only man who ever made me feel this way. Its just overwhelming right now. The thought that it might happen NOW. But yeah...I would be happy about it for sure. " you started to cry. Your best friend hugged you tight "Shhhhhtt . Eighter way it will be good. What do you think about going to the pharmacy and get a test right now? So you dont have to ask yourself that question all day?"

You nodded. Knowing would help. You just had to know if your friend was right.

An hour later you couldnt stop your hands from shaking as you got back to your friends apartment. The pregnancy test in your hand felt surreal. You never did such a test before, so you sat down with her to read everything through.

"Are you ready?" she asked you.

You werent sure. How could anyone ever be ready for something like that? Deep down you knew that there was nothing to be afraid of. The more you thought about it, the more you wanted the test to turn out positive. You just felt deep in your heart that Arthur would be happy,too. There was only a slight chance that he would be too overwhelmed and scared. But then again, who wouldnt be?

"No. I`m not ready" you smiled while you said it out loud.

"But you are smiling! Thats a good thing. Take your time. We can do this tonight if you want."

You got up and headed to the bathroom "No. No. I really want to know now.  So I will have more time to think about how I will tell Arthur on Monday."

"Ha! You`re already talking like you are pregnant. I like that" her face lighted up.

And you realized that this was true. Somehow you suddenly felt like you already knew. Like everything was coming together. You imagined Arthur holding your baby for the first time. Imagined his big puppy eyes while trying to make his kid laugh. You already felt the love he was radiating as a dad. Your eyes started watering when you closed the door behind you. You followed the discriptions of the test and waited.

It wasnt long but it felt like a lifetime.

So many scenarios went through your head. Any possible reaction from Arthur. You checked the watch. It was time to take a look at the result. Your heart was beating fast. You didnt even knew how much you wanted a kid with him until now. You hoped for the test to be positive. So much it would even hurt you if it was not the case. This morning you didnt even thought of being a parent and suddenly it was all you could think about. Arthur as a dad. Arthur as the father of your child. What a wonderful life it would be! Not easy, but wonderful and worth living for.

Your shaky hand grabbed the test with eyes closed. One deep breath in. And another.

Okay.

Now.

Now you will know.

Postive. The test was positive. Arthur and you would be parents soon!

You wished for him to be here with you right now. A brief moment you felt regret for not making the test when he was there with you but anyway, you would make sure to surprise him in the sweetest way!

"Ohhh my god, you were right!" you screamed as you got out of teh bathroom "You were right!!!!"

Your friend ran towards you and held you tight "I knew. I just knew. I am so happy for you. Are you happy? You are feeling good, right? Oh my god!"

"Yeah, I...I am happy. So much happier than I thought I would be. I cant wait to tell Arthur the day after tomorrow. God, I dont even know if I can wait until then. But I have to because....I want the surprise to be perfect. And I gotta figure out how I will tell him the news!"

"You`re going to be a great mum Y/N. I just know. And Arthur is going to be the funniest daddy ever!"

You sat down on teh couch, dizzy but happy at heart "Wow,thats just...a lot to think about!"

Your friend told you to rest and made you a cup of tea to calm your stomach.  You realized that life would never be the same again after the kid would be born. But you wanted it. You wanted it all. With him. And him only.

It was so hard to no tell Arthur when he called you the next day. But you wanted to see his face when you told him. You wanted to feel his arms around you and this wasnt possible through the phone, so you waited for Monday evening.

You made sure that you arrived earlier than he would and put the pregnancy test into an envelope, so he would find it as soon as he checked the box for letters. He always did because his mum was waiting on a letter from Thomas Wayne for months now. Standing in the hallway was torture. You checked your watch at least twenty times until he finally arrived. Arthur was still wearing his clown make up. He carried his green wig and clown shoes in his big bag, looking tired. "Ohhhh honey. I`m so glad to be home. It was a long day at HaHas.  There was a kids birthday. I danced for at least three hours. But it was worth it. You should have seen the little boys face! God. I love making kids happy.....Y/N? Are you okay?"

"Arthur!" you jumped into his arms and felt him with all your senses.  "Yes I`m fine. Just so.....good to see you again and I missed you so much!"

A real smile was visible underneath his big, red fake smile "I`m happy to have you in my arms again,too. I missed you the moment you walked out of the elevator two days ago!"

Arhur grabbed his keys to open the letter box. That was the moment. In less than a minute he would know.

"A letter!" he mumbled "Maybe my mum finally gets what she was waiting for ."  He checked the envelope. "Wait....It says For Arthur....there is no stamp and....this is...your handwriting...?" he looked at you. The confused frown on his face made you want to kiss him so bad.

"Open it, darlin. please!"

Arthurs fingers felt that there was something in it.

"Darling, its not even my birthday." he joked "Did you got me a present?" he reached for what was in there and pulled it out.

Arthurs face froze for a moment. No reaction. Just him staring at the test and the little note that said "Soon we`re going to be a family! "

For a second your heart seemed to stop. Why didnt he say anything? Why wasnt he even moving? Was it bad news for him?

The envelope fell down to his feet as he covered his face with his hands. He was crying.

"A-Arthur? Darling?" you took a step closer to him. And another. Until you were able to put your arm around him. His tiney body was shaking.

"Arthur....please say something.

Seeing him cry now was torture. You were looking forward to this moment until you saw the test result and now he was crying in silence. He didnt even looked at you. His beautiful hands just covered his face while he was sobbing like a little boy.

"Oh Arthur, I thought....I really thought this would make you happy,too?!"

Arthur uncovered his face. His puffy eyes glanced at you with love "Are you kidding me Y/N? Of course I am happy. I was never happier in my whole life! Oh my god. I am....I never felt this way before. We are going to be a family! This is all I ever wanted in life. Thank you for making my dream come true!" Arthur fell into your arms. His head resting on your shouders  as tears of happiness ran down his face.

Now you started crying too.

"Oh god, I`m so glad. So reliefed. You`re going to be the best daddy ever. I love you so much, Artie! So incredibly much."

Arthur kissed you softly on the lips. Traces of his clown make up covered the corner of your mouth.

"You know what? Tomorrow I`m taking a day off and we`ll have a beautiful picnic in the park. Just the two of us. Out on a date to celebrate this! And when we`re back home, I´m going to tell my mum!"

You smiled "Your mum didnt even knew you had a girlfriend. She will be shocked."

"So what? Its our life! And our desicion. We will be looking for a new home anyway."

"Yeah" you wiped a curl out of his face.

"C`mon, honey, lets get in and relax for the night."

Arthur took you by the hand and soon you found yourself all cuddled up on the couch. Arthur on your side. Skin on skin. His breath behind your ear. His hand caressing your belly.

"So you think its going to be a boy or a girl?" he asked you while his fingers gently moved in circles. He lit some candles to make it even cozier for you.

"I dont know" you whispered "I would love a son who looks just like his father."

Arthurs hand on your tummy felt so calming. Like a charm that made your child feel loved.

"And I would love a daughter who is just as precious as her mother."

You smiled.

"I promise I will try my best to be a good dad. I will make our kid laugh as often as possible and teach him or her how to do magic tricks and I´ll dance to make the child feel better. I will try anything. to be.....good enough! I`m gonna take good care of our baby."

"I know you are going to be amazing. Who wouldnt love to have a funny clown as a father?"

Arthur leaned in to kiss you "I promise you, I will find a job as a stand up comedian so we can afford much more than now. I`m gonna make it work. "

"I know we will Arthur. The two....no. The three of us together."

Arthur pulled you even closer to his chest. The warmth of his body lulled you in as you drifted away into sleep. The last thing you`ve heard before your eyes closed was Arthur whispering "Sleep tight, little angel" while he placed his lips on your belly to kiss your child good night.