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Critical Role Campaign 3 Episode 48 Quote List
"Swiggity."
"Don't break the set. Do not break the set."
"It's not a race to the bottom, okay?"
"Hey man I just like positive chimes, you know?"
"We gotta glean the cube."
"I'm going to try and get my fork back."
"Nanaaaaa!"
"I'll give the tree some pats. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
"It doesn't have feet."
"You fucking talk in rhyme, you're kidding me right now."
*an insane amount of rhyming improv poems*
"Whikey whikey scratch."
"Have we found Bailey's achilles heel?"
"You're going to climb a tree with single digit health?"
"I know. I understand. Parent shit is the fucking worst."
"I love hitting dads."
"The drama was appreciated."
"It's psychological warfare." *Matt asking them to roll dice*
"I've always had a third nipple."
"And we're just going to toss the corpses into a waterfall?"
"I got the urge a couple times to really kill Chetney." "I think that's natural."
"Beef dick."
"You guided."
"She needs you. She feels better when you're around."
"Adjust your cumberbund, come on."
"Take a chance, suck a dick, let's go."
"No, we're slapdicks, it's not going to happen."
"Ry-Laura Bailey."
"The better halves become a better whole."
"I never want you to be afraid of me, daddy."
"All the campaigns, still against the elderly."
"Goodbye, Bumpkins!"
"Hey, he wasn't a total dickfuck."
"At dawn, we plan."
#damn what an episode#critical role#cr quote list#cr c3e48#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#c3 spoilers#hearing at dawn we plan twice in two days
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5 minutes later:
#pv i love u but you couldn't keep a secret if ur life depended on it#(makes sense considering his light of truth lol)#pure vanilla cookie#shadow milk cookie#compiling a list of every quote from their interactions for future reference <3#these next couple weeks are gonna be f u n#white lily cookie#cookie run spoilers#crk spoilers#crk#dark side of the moon#pure vanilla crk#shadow milk crk#beast yeast#cr kingdom
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"I pray to the Wildmother for earplugs" CADUCEUS CLAY KING OF MY HEART
#added to the list of hall of fame quotes#caduceus clay#cr spoilers#mighty nein#critical role#cr2#happy asexual awareness week
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Don't you even dare.
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welcome to this is exorsexism.
this is an account to highlight exorsexism, so that more people learn to recognise it when it's happening and we can fight it better.
what happens here is that i will post examples of exorsexism here as i encounter it, as well as submitted examples. this can be stories of exorsexism of offline or online exorsexism. if not immediately clear, i may provide an explanation of how something is exorsexist.
this is also a safe space for nonbinary people to vent or rant about exorsexism.
you can submit exorsexism you encountered to me via submissions or asks. if you send a screenshot of someone being exorsexist, please make sure to crop or censor any identifying information such as their username and profile picture. this account is for educational purposes and for nonbinary people to vent their experiences, not to send harassment to anyone.
exorsexism from within nonbinary and wider transgender communities is also welcome as that too needs awareness.
not sure if something you want to submit counts as exorsexism? submit it anyway and we can talk about it. and if you think your exorsexism experience isn't "bad enough" to be submitted: yes, it is.
credit where credit is due: this account is very much inspired by @exorsexistbullshit who sadly hasn't been active in going on 5 years, as well as casualableism on instagram.
submission rules:
since this is a blog to highlight a form of bigotry and oppression that also often intersects with other forms of oppression, a "no bigotry" rule doesn't make sense here. however, being bigoted towards bigots is not welcome here. this includes calling bigots or bigotry -phobic (i.e. "homophobia"), narcissistic, delusional, lame, blind, cr*zy, st*pid and more.
the key difference here is whether you are quoting bigotry you have encountered or whether you're being bigoted as well.
i am multiply disabled and we don't do that kind of thing here, so if i ignored your ask or blocked you, that's probably why.
what is exorsexism?
in short, exorsexism is the oppression of and bigotry against nonbinary people. it is essentially sexism directed at nonbinary people. furthermore, it also includes the hatred of anything heavily associated with nonbinary people, like certain pronouns. exorsexism ranges from the erasure of nonbinary people to outright hostility. there are many different kinds of exorsexism as there are many different kinds of exorsexism. exorsexism affects the whole range of nonbinary gender identities, including but not limited to agender, multigender, genderfluid, aporagender & xenogender people, as well as androgynes, nonbinary men & nonbinary women.
here's an incomplete list of examples of exorsexism:
- nonbinary erasure, not just erasure of all nonbinary people, but also of more specific gender identities
- forcing nonbinary people into the gender binary or creating new gender-related binaries to force us into (e.g. amab/afab, masc/fem, men/non-men, cis/trans)
- thinking gender can't be fluid
- thinking everyone has to have a gender
- thinking nonbinary identities are new, a trend, a choice, a phase or a way to try and be special
- erasing exorsexism as a specific form of oppression
- thinking nonbinary people have to look a certain way
- centring binary people & experiences in communities that have historically included us
- mocking they, it and neopronouns
- thinking that "everyone is a bit nonbinary"/reducing nonbinaryhood to gender nonconformity
- thinking nonbinary people are just deviations from binary genders, i.e. men & women lite
#this is exorsexism#exorsexism#nonbinary#enby#agender#multigender#genderfluid#bigender#pangender#genderflux#androgyne#demigirl#demiboy#aporagender#neutrois#maverique#xenogender
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I find it so sweet that the people who run the transcripts website updated the 'examples' to this:
We now have access to a list of people telling Sam Riegel that they love him, references to healing up, and this killer quote from Caleb in campaign two:
Anyway, it's just another small reminder that the CR community has so much love to give, even in a small and seemingly innocuous way
Love you guys <3
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Huda’s family campaign update
€ 1073 /€ 10,000 as of October 30th[ 10 pm ]
Only €70 donated today!!😔💔💔
Huda is away from achieving her goal to leave Gaza 💔💔
If 450 people donated €20, the fundraiser would reach its goal!
Please consider donating even just $5, $10, or $20 to help the fundraiser further along. And remember that reblogging/sharing to reach more people can help a lot!
[for more information on the campaign: check my pinned post, the campaign page itself, or message me directly if you have any questions]
[tag list under the cut]:
@fllagellant @jjjammerson @verycolourfulflipflops @genericminecraftpotato @probablynotaskeleton @sh4rkh4ts @bonicedemandarina @radical-l0ver @weareweirdpeople @ash-the-bee @ettaberrytea @cryptdmoth @cthulusposts @eastgaysian @uhhh-i-dont-know @charc-arts @hexblooddruid @strawbebbyboba @strawberridrops @rawdvd
@rinthesecond @brookepagebe @kixflip @1p0lly1 @morihaus @rattlesnake-acrobatics @thatonebored-juniorcolleague @my-multi-fandom-blog @slyfire @constellationriver @moonfox-mumbles @mauvethecolor @banananerdworld @l3mon-boy @sliipppy @stargazinglesbian @transguyhawkeye @i-am-the-half-dead-soul-l @futuristicchaospoetry @antigxnee
@exactlydangerousdragon @charcoalsoup69 @0luna123 @th3ch1psste4ler @lavenderlovers-stuff @thegardener-and-theaupair @luminouslateralup @zzzubie @crisostomo @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @preemptivemolars @gayruledge @danyayeni2 @agentmoss @solitudecasesolace @demonpikmin @capybara-platypus @ambreeskyewriting @q8p @death-cannot-kill-you
@all-purpose-utility-nerd @free0101 @slendyverseargcollections @neonfruitbowl @momfriend2800 @luvmoonie @womenbehotfr @seventhefurbfather @c0-j-c0 @ignore-this0 @space-ace-books @olivedacat @exhausted-asterism @iphigenia-wailing @enderenby404 @implalazz @lunar-eclipse-bunnies @microwavesex @a-court-of-valkyries @thegoodwitchluz-uea
@diagnosedhorsegirl @bebbls-craft-blog @the-acid-pear @moviequotes23 @nickbluehour @number1ludicolofan @inkslingerr @madspades @decadentmuffindreamscissors @taptrial2 @virovac @blue-jacket-blues @tacit-semantics @timeless-orchid @cinnarainbow @aziraphaleapologist @harley-angel @swapauanon @yakiattaki @piratefry
@pegglefan69 @writing-is-a-martial-art @ohmerricat @mildmayfoxe @sunnyartistwriter @moonrisemoonchild @senlinstudies @birdmenmanga @rabbithaver @jolyne-best-jojo @just-a-mod @officialgleamstar @ehjane @cosmicsymbols @treeen @spunkfunkyzzz @fairedoll @trashrunes @skiddlecat @tim-the-rat
@whatyouvegotunderyourskirt @kurtle @rabidkermit @splend-42 @dustywarbler @400terahertz @poltiddies @yourlocaleccentricscientist @honeybeeffdrawshere @jayskai @astronnonyy @artsyrosie @halfmoonism @whisper-valley @loonfromq @here-sean-once-was @waiting-on-mars @bandtrees @mpregwizard @goosecorp
@grapejuicedragoon @chloefrazer @hauntedcloudtheorist @sanaimissyou @zigcarnivorous @silver1012345 @ebenrosetaylor @promiscuousasexual @lord-of-the-froggies @duovxq @dapokemonmadster @saffronbaklava @labutansa @dqrknight @spaceswordblaster @importantt-reblogs @e-102 @moonssugar @toughknit @bisexualpositivity
@garbagevarmint @katealot @littleredhatter @totally-correct-cr-quotes @petra-creat0r @kaxtwenty @temperedxanthippe @aligaytorsoup @sleeppatrol @lady-of-bath @cockworkangels @theredfields @craftykittyscientist @dustoftheancients @thatsonehellofabird @phoenix-awan @comrademango @neogotchi @the-butter-churner @sketching-shark
@godspersonalclown @elyserie @glassoddity @the-ballerina-battle @antixabound @mydearalandro @batricity @floof-ghostie @taffywabbit @official-ducktown @cathyac @rosengine @deadauthorssociety @thecrimeofmans-laughter @vampthropologist @good-old-gossip @inkatesbush @fishfingersandscarves @shoutyourporpoise @cuntbrow
@pikslasrce @thetrickyjokester @claudia-lioncourt @dimplesandfierceeyes @mortalityplays @cetitan @mar64ds @labutansa @truefrostedagony @deadly-vuu @that-faerie-in-the-corner @amiya-shirou @emmanuor @farsight-the-char @colorfulatlas @laxsland @lepardlover @bismoaking @homunculusalphonse @zone0neko
@galactic-mermaid @cosmic-horrors-in-forests @rubiter20 @swordofazrael1992 @lowcallyfruity @uwabbittuwabbit @labutansa @dilfzuku @pelorsdyke @reyesstrand @luvqwish @sherbetp0p @starlightsugar @fr0ge @whatislovevavy @timeless-orchid @magentasky234 @swapauanon @yakiattaki @pegglefan69
@writing-is-a-martial-art @bug-s0da @ohmerricat @mildmayfoxe @sunnyartistwriter @rabbithaver @madeline-kahn @unabashedmagicalgirlfan @averagenotnormal @emathyst9 @pet-shop-of-horror-fan @reyesstrand @rainy-fog @thefakehedgehogaroundhere @discreative @antixabound @liamins @thenextglamourousbard @jolyne-best-jojo @officialgleamstar
@cosmicsymbols @spunkfunkyzzz @fairedoll @tomboyjessie13 @citrusfruitman @baldwin-10-12-d @kirbytripledeluxe @just-a-queer-fanboy @quellstak @whatyouvegotunderyourskirt @xinakwans @leotanaka @andva-ri @mima-sama @galax-dragon @hauntedcloudtheorist @50c14lly4nx10u5 @saffronbaklava @thespacegardener @cows-quack @heydreamchild @temperedxanthippe
#animals#artists on tumblr#flowers#free palestine#gazaunderattack#halloween#freepalastine🇵🇸#pink#palestinian genocide#freepalestine#happy halloweeeeeeen#israel is a terrorist state
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Circumstances of Guizhong's Death
90% sure something's up with Guizhong's death because weapon lore is basically from the devs and is therefore reliable and yet it contradicts Cloud Retainer's account and cutscene and why in the world would Cloud Retainer of all people lie??? But her retelling doesn't really line up and Zhongli WON'T SAY ANYTHING. Mihoyo is definitely doing this with intention, because they have an eye for details. Also the yakshas appearing in the cutscene makes the timeline... Super weird???
anyway here's a list
Cloud Retainer said this: "Guizhong was overpowered by the enemy, and fell in battle. When Streetward Rambler and I arrived at the scene at long last, all that remained among the ruins... was her lifeless body."
This has several implications: CR and Ping found her when she was already dead. Her body was what was left. There were surrounded by ruins. She also fell in battle. (we don't actually who found her *first*, since the cutscene depicted everyone being there. However the phrase used was "all that remained...lifeless body" implying CR and Ping found her like that.)
SPEAKING OF THE CUTSCENE. We see her being basically petrified/turned into a statue. Again, everyone was there, even the Yakshas, and Zhongli. There was this magic shape thing above her in the cutscene, we dont know what it is. But when it played, there was this glitch effect and we see this:
again, we don't know what it is or why the devs chose to add that funky glitch effect.
WHY THIS IS WEIRD AND IMPORTANT? This is a quote from what Memory of Dust weapon lore says: "He also remembers those words she spoke at the end — again, amid the Glaze Lilies."
This alone partly contradicts CR. Glaze Lilies. Not ruins. Okay, but there could've been some ruins from battle. So this is not complete evidence. However, something else caught my eye.
this being: Zhongli was with Guizhong in her final moments.
Another very important quote: "Her final smile was a lonely one, even as her form dissolved into the finest dust. "It seems that our journey together has come to an end. As for that stone dumbbell, forget about it, would you?""
And also this: ""If you can unlock it—" Many years passed, and he was never able to unlock that dumbbell, nor would he ever learn what might have followed that sentence."
Again, according to this, Zhongli was with Guizhong in her final moments. He heard her last words. He was there/already there before she died, she was not dead yet when he was with her.
(what might've implied in this description: That Zhongli and Guizhong were alone and no one else was there, because no other persons were mentioned. Again, this is while likely is also tentative, because there was no explicit mention. This way Zhongli might've found her first.)
What matters was that there was no way they found her at the state of *already dead*. Because according to MoD, "Her Form Dissolved into the finest dust." She's turning to dust even before dying. There shouldn't have been a body to find if she literally dissolved into dust. This is Direct Contradiction from CR's account and the cutscene, which depicted her body as stone/petrified. In Memory of Dust weapon lore, Guizhong's last words were cut-off, meaning even Zhongli didn't hear everything she was going to say. This was the moment of her death- the moment she likely had completely dissolved into dust was when she was still talking to Zhongli.
Let's review
According to CR: She fell in battle, they found her body, already dead, among the ruins.
According to MoD: When she died, Zhongli was with her. He heard her last words. She dissolved into dust.
Contradictions:
In MoD lore, her form dissolved into dust but cutscene + CR said they found her body and that she was turned to stone.
They found her body among ruins/scene of battle according to CR but in MoD she died among the Glaze Lilies.
Yaksha timeline weird
Arguable/tentative/still really vague stuff: According to CR she fell in battle because she was "overpowered by the enemy"- how did that happen if Zhongli was there according to MoD? He's still alive, after all. Also ngl they had a moment™️when she died because he had heard her last words- shouldn't he be fighting lmao??? Also shouldn't the glaze lilies be destroyed by battle?
TLDR There was no way CR and Ping would've found her body if we're going purely by what was explicitly mentioned in MoD. Vice Versa, there was no way MoD scenario would have worked out the way it allegedly did if we're going by CR's account.
also what in the world was that thing that was supposedly contained in the cutscene? The one in the third picture above.
Theories.
Obviously, this means that we should not take these accounts at face value. Either *something else happened that we still don't know* OR *Only one of these accounts was right*. So there's like a bunch of theories abt this. Anyway these are just some of them.
Maybe one could argue that Zhongli petrified her body after she died and dissolved, and that both accounts are technically right. But again, such a thing was *never* mentioned by either sources. is it even possible to do such a thing? Also why in the world would he feel the need to construct a whole fake scenario instead of just telling CR and Ping? Did something happen that made him think he has to?
Irminsul mind-wipe. This one is vague but Sumeru made it a possible option. However, why? why should they erase her? What did she do, what happened? They did put a glitch effect- so was that a creative choice or where they alluding to it? Also, again, what was that thing they were containing in the cutscene? also what's inside memory of dust and why did she ask zhongli to forget it?
In MoD we see Guizhong say two contradicting things. She told Zhongli to forget about MoD. but later it seemed like she was about to tell him the opposite. We don't know what she said because she unfortunately was dead.
Some people theorized that Zhongli might've killed Guizhong himself, because of the lines in Jade cutter weapon lore. Again, why? they were close up to her death, as mentioned by MoD. If that happened, why?
So, thoughts?
#zhongli#原神#genshin impact#rex lapis#yanwang dijun#morax#guizhong#Guili Assembly#Guili Plains#genshin lore#genshin theories#Liyue#cloud retainer#in my opinion#something happened that we don't know yet#There's something that Guizhong and Zhongli know that Zhongli has yet to share with everyone else#but what?#meta
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I now know why the idea that courtesy is the answer to every conflict is so prevalent in the fandom. You have a handful of tumblr intellectuals who would rather discuss if Arya should have been feeling guilty about killing the Bolton guard or the degree of it ( he is just a guy standing around, we don't know anything about him, hey maybe he doesn't get paid enough to stop 3 prisoners from leaving!), rather than acknowledge that Arya had gone through hell to survive and she more than any other Stark kid knows the cost of war. Arya's list is called fucked up ( they add the "understandable" adjective immediately after but reiterate that it's fucked up). And the prevalent idea then, in use of all these words is equating Arya to violence. Which is why all those incorrect quote posts of 'Arya's every solution being violence' get so many notes.
Arya's list isn't the measure of her violence. It instead is the proof of her trauma. And she tries again and again to leave the nightmares behind: the countless times she tries to reach Jon, her feeling what good does Joffrey's death do if her mother and brothers are dead, her wanting to stay on with the crew of Titan's daughter.
They would talk about how fucked up her list is hence insinuate the tremendous capacity of violence and draw up theories after theories about Faceless Men but won't ever be conscious enough to recognize that Arya never truly wanted anything to do with the FM ( even after reaching Braavos she tries to stay on the ship).
So imagine knowing all these. To have read all these chapters and to get stuck on the ethics of murdering the Bolton guard. Mind you this is brought up because it has been admitted that previously Arya has had to kill in self defense and for others. There has been a reiteration that there these kills are pardonable since there had been an active threat on her. But the murder of the Bolton guard is a matter of ethics!
And you know what I am not even arguing about that. It is a grey area. But it's the extra scrutiny placed on the female character that gets to me. A clood blooded premeditated murder committed!! As if this murder exists in vacuum. As if this girl who the world around knows to be a commoner would have been allowed to leave Harrenhal by that guard just standing around. As if prisoners and slaves have a say on what is to be their fate. As if each day and every day Arya isn't surrounded by the violence wrought in Harrenhal. As if this violence wasn't necessary for her to make a safe escape.
They would argue it wasn't and here I realize that the issue goes deeper than that. Here is an excerpt of their dialogue:
They maintain that only Gendry and Hot Pie had been in danger here. That Arya was actually safe as she could have just revealed her identity anytime and apparently there were ways of proving it without one recognizing her face ( I doubt that).
Somehow this makes me realize that this sort of thinking is what dismisses Arya's entire arc. This is what had been going wrong in the tv show which reduced all of Arya's trauma to ✨adventure✨because they think all the suffering Arya went through was intentional and could have been stopped anytime! All she had to do was reveal her identity.
I honestly do not know what Arya could have done to prove she was a Stark. When they sent guards to hunt her down and Arya realized that maybe in convincing her two friends to run away with her, she has in turn condemned them- Arya makes a decision to reveal who she is and let herself taken hostage. But here's the thing and no matter how many so called intellectuals throw up shit that her identity could have easily been proven-there would always, always the matter of chance. They could believe or they won't. And what would happen if they won't? Arya would be killed.
Now let's see what would have happened if Roose had ahold of the real Arya? Wouldn't she be in the place of Jeyne Poole. Jeyne has had to suffer under a monster, under a sadist. And those cries that echo around Winterfell now, would have been Arya's. This is what the fandom wants. I mean to say this is what the fandom wants from its female characters. Be the passive recipient of all that is to happen. There is no admiration in taking yourself promptly out of a situation that can be dangerous by actively interfering in the storyline. Act only when an action has been committed against you. There would have been more sympathy for Arya if she bled the way they wanted her to. If her cries echoed through halls. If she wasn't an active participant in her own storyline.
The other thing is the matter of could have. There is always the matter of could have when it comes to Arya. Arya could have tried to be more courteous. Arya could have just let Joffrey cut Mycah's face. And now Arya could have hatched a plan keeping in mind the safety of not only her party but of everyone else ( the Bolton guard) and snuck past. Every decisive control Arya takes is countered with a could have. That Arya chose to simply eliminate the risk in a situation that begged a safe escape isn't taken well. There is always a could have even when the text itself provides us with no definitive answer to this alternative could have.
I never understood how people could judge Dany when she actively brings down an empire of slavery. But now I think I can. There is no passivity. There is unapologetic action against the slave masters. They too perhaps are just some guys standing around to many in this fandom. And every decisive move against them, every violence against them also brings about the compulsion of the could have.
These female characters refuse to be a part of the could have. Of passivity. Their grey actions are to take back control of their storyline. Hence are they vilified. And hence should there be guilt and remorse on their part.
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So since 4sd this week I have been thinking about my favorite critical role quote.
"It's about a very long story and we are, even you, a tiny part of it."
Which is from campaign one episode 56 (near the end I could look up the time stamp but I am lazy). It's a Percy quote and it is a CRIMINALLY under rated cr quote cause have you ever heard anything more perfectly describing critical role? Any way my point is I love this quote and it is never included in cr quote lists AND IT SHOULD BE. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#seriously i could go on about this ine quote for pages#like the first time i watch cr it was nothing#but rewatching campaign one with the context of what it grows into?#especially since he says it to keyleth#who has been in every cr story even as a tiny part#of not even the story of cr#but like the fandom#and the kickstarter#*I* am a tiny part of the story#and like life to but that is not here nor there#critical role#vox machina#c1ep56#percy de rolo#cr1#4sd#talisen jaffe
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Critical Role Campaign 3 Episode 47 Quote List
"Search your heartdrive."
"Don't misunderestermater."
"I'm sure she's lovely. I have no beef with her. I do plan to beat her ass though."
"To the Hollowfen- something or other."
"No it's because you rolled like shit."
"You know it's serious when he says winged."
"I do. I do. I do. I'm useful here."
"Like the floor is slowly eating your leg."
"Shiver and Keep.""That was Liam anticipating her grossness."
"Tell us more about the labia wall please."
"We'll be as charming as Josh Gad to get by the evil aromad?"
"That plan went smoother than a mattress pad..."
"A stretched frog dragon."
"Cast piss without a trace."
"Laura needs to pee real bad because she's afraid of the aromad."
"Nope nope I don't give a shit about your monkey."
"Dynamite is probably better than termites."
"Please injure the mouse enough that it explodes inside your body."
"Magical ghillie suit. There you go."
"Don't go that way. It was trying to turn me into hamburger meat. I felt like I was in a Pink Floyd music video."
"Oh shit. I have a whole bunch of pasta dough."
"I'm very excited. I wanna blow some shit up."
"I can't not make the sound. I will forever be a child with this."
"Yeah don't Keyleth her. Careful."
"You know, it could have been a lot worse."
"It can be a lot worse."
#ok how about we format it correctly this time#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#cr quote list#cr c3e47#cr campaign 3#crit role#cr
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🐞,🌱, &🥥!
Thanks sm for the ask!
🐞= name three oddly specific things you’re excited to witness in your dr.
In my DR, I'm an angel-ish being who can travel dimensions, so I'd definitely say I'm excited to:
use my powers (I can fly, travel into peoples' memories, and stuff like that)
Hear mourning doves (my DR takes place in 2008 and those are really nostalgic for me)
Be with my little sister Mimi
🌱= in incorrect quote style, make a likely scenario with you and one (or multiple) people from your dr.
Blair (me): Hey Rose, you know how you're not supposed to put a bomb in the microwave?
Rose: Please tell me you didn't put a bomb in the microwave
Blair: What? No! I wouldn't do that!
Blair: I put 3.
(Here's another one because I feel like it)
Blair (walks into room wearing a very big hoodie): Sup
Ana: Nice hoodie.
(silence)
Blair: Thanks. It's yours.
🥥= list three specific smells from your dr and explain them.
Snow. In my CR I've only seen snow like once, and I really love snow so I scripted that it happens a lot.
Smoke. I scripted that I smoke but it doesn't cause any health problems or addiction.
Warm TV (ik it sounds weird). I just find the smell comforting idk.
Thx again for the ask!
#shifting realities#desired reality#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#reality shifter#shifting#shifters
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Hard To Love (Roman Roy Oneshot)
Character/s: Roman
Word Count: 1,210
Inspired By: Puke by Ava Maybee I loveeeee this song
Tag: @locke-writes
A/N: This is definitely for therapy lol I hope no one minds. Ya gurl feels very unlovable atm. Idk. It stems from something someone said to me once, someone who is supposed to love me unconditionally, they said I am hard to love. Of course I forgive them, I love them, but it still stings y'know? Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜
Is there something wrong with me? You don't know if you’ve spoken the words or only thought about them. Either way he rocks you both back and forth, arms around you, hushing your fears. Your cheek is pressed against his chest, his heartbeat rapid, playing a tune you can’t quite name. Is there? There must be. Some innate, genetic wrongdoing. Something must be missing from you to make you this way. Sensitive. Forgotten. An easy target. They shoot their arrows into you, through you, but you always come crawling back. Always. The pain, the blood loss, the look in their eyes, none of that matters. You don’t matter. They know they can do whatever they want and you’ll cling to them like a lost child. Because they’re your family. Because they’re supposed to love you unconditionally. But they don’t. And that is not a fault on their part, but your own. You have done something to make them hate you, you have done something to make them turn on you, it is all your fault. You’ve seen them love others the way you have wanted to be loved. You have seen them be so caring, so devoted, so in love with someone it breaks you into pieces. It threatens to undo your very soul. There is something about you that is so undeserving, so unlovable, so broken that they could never fathom treating you that way. They could never see you as something to care for, to give a second thought.
Is it my fault? No, he fights back, no, no, never. But he’s wrong, biased, blinded. You’ve done a good job fooling him. Everything is. Right? Everything, everyone’s emotions, their well-being, it’s all on you. You take care of them. You heal their wounds. You dry their eyes. And in return, you get nothing. You are forgotten. His arms grow tight around you, together, stronger, as if he thinks holding you will keep your brokenness from showing. Pieces of you slide off his lap, shattering against the ground. You want to fight against him, against his word, but you’re too tired. Exhausted. Tears well up in your eyes, threatening to fall. It can’t be like this every time. You question why you come crawling back every time, hind legs wounded, but you do it. The moment they give you a second of attention, you forget everything that has ever happened. Every unkind word. Every look. Every comment. It sticks into your hair like gum. You are so hard to love. A direct quote. Spoken to you in a moment of fury, of anger. Does that make it any easier to swallow? Does it make it any better knowing it was spoken out of frustration? No. The anger bites back, chewing you to bits and pieces. It is the hard truth, the thing that needed to be said. He knows the sensation, that sinking feeling in the pit of your chest, the expectations you’ve been carrying for this single moment deflating, dying in your arms.
Why am I so hard to love? You whimpered through the bathroom door. What, what are you talking about? He jiggled the handle, but it wouldn’t budge. You sat with your back against the door, not letting him in. You wanted to, no you needed to be alone. To cry this out. I can’t help you if you won’t let me in. You didn’t want his help though, you didn’t feel worthy of it. You deserved to be alone, to feel alone. You were a burden, a hindrance, something people didn’t want alone. You kept running through the list in your head, all the reasons, the myriad of explanations. If they picked one, just one, maybe you could change it. Fix it. Fix you. Make yourself into something deserving of love. You pressed your face into your crossed arms, feeling small. Insignificant. He slid down to your level, speaking quietly, tenderly. You know whatever they said or did, it’s not on you. No one who loves someone would hurt them like this. Like his father. Like your family. You just shrugged, knowing he can’t see. You weren’t sure why you listened to them, why you let it get under your skin, it just did. Too sensitive, they called it, as if it were a bad thing. As if it were another reason to disregard your tears, your feelings. You never should have gone home, but you missed it, the idea of home. This grand notion that things would be different, they would be different. You always do. Hopeful, he calls it. Fucking stupid, you correct. It's naive of you to think they’d ever change, ever soften, ever share the same heart as you do. As soon as you go back you remember why you left, why you built this little life with him in your home, why you came home crying every time.
Maybe he should have warned you. He didn’t want to dampen the mood. Roman could see how excited you were, proud to show yourself and all your achievements, no matter how small. Naming every relative, how much you missed them, how long it’s been since you’ve seen them. Maybe he should have gone with you, protected you, becoming your human shield. It wouldn’t have mattered. You wouldn’t have let him get hurt like that. They were smart in their cruelty, knowing just the right insecurities, the right buttons to push to shatter who you are inside. He watched you try on countless outfits, worried they wouldn’t like what you chose, worried you wouldn’t make the best impression. It didn’t matter what you chose in the end, they had enough choice words about your body regardless. Y/n, will you let me in? He asked softly, not moving. You let the question hang in the air, sniffling, letting yourself relax, take deep breaths. He checked your bedroom, the couch, kitchen, every nook and cranny where you might try to hide. This always happens. The disappearing act, the lack of self-worth, the hatred turn in on yourself. It’s them you should be mad at, but you can’t be. You love them too much. You need them too much to think harshly of them. The handle turns, the door creaking open. He moves with open arms which you fall into. He doesn’t have any jokes to make it better, anything to lighten the mood, he knows better than that. Now, you need comfort. You need soothing and reassurance. Your head against his chest, the rest of you heavy with grief. You go back every time because you want to be loved the way you’re supposed to, the way all the songs and shows and movies promise you: unconditionally. And every time you’re disappointed. Because your life, this life, isn't a movie. It doesn’t have a happy ending. It just keeps going despite the heartache, despite the pain. It threatens to collapse in on you, cave in, when it gets bad. There’s no such thing as unlovable, he says to you, to himself, to the universe. Discarded like a kicked puppy. He can handle it from his father, Gerri, everyone, but you? You don’t deserve that. There’s no such thing as unlovable, he’s sure of it.
#writing#roman roy#roman roy fic#roman roy imagine#roman x reader#succession#succession fic#succession imagine#succession x reader
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I just finished a Court of Fey and Flowers by @dimension20official, it was absolutely amazing, hands down the best AP I have ever seen, or imagine I might see.
You can find it here.
As someone that is strongly anti-D&D 5E and Anti Wizards of the Coast, it took me a long time to give dimension 20 a chance, and I will strongly suggest that anyone in that same position give it a shot.
I am gonna talk about it below the cut here, cause this will likely be long, this will be things I both liked and didn't like.
So i'm gonna talk abit about my feelings and experience with games and APs, because we're all different, we all like different things in a TV Show and by extension those variable preferences would also expand to APs. So I want to give you a little bit of information about where I stand as I explain my thoughts. Sorry if this gets very SEO Recipe lmao.
If you don't care about all that, skip to the next bold line, however if you are gonna comment or argue or whatever, at least read the context first and then probably don't do that.
I've been gaming for 30+ years, I started very early, and i've played definately dozens, probably hundreds of different games. D&D doesnt even rank in that list, I didn't like it much as a kid, when i grew up and it was 3/3,5 I hated both it and pathfinder with a passion. I played 5E for a bit but its lackluster and very poor design led to a game of boring mechanical options and choices that quickly grew old. And if I was gonna play a narrative game, i wouldn't be playing D&D in the first place. 4E is the only edition of D&D I've actively enjoyed.
I was an immense Critter during Campaign 1 and partway through Campaign 2. Like... "my wife and I have Critical Role quotes engraved on our wedding bands" critters.
But I quickly fell away from both Critters and Critical Role, by and large Critters is the worst fandom ive been apart of (and I was a SuperWhoLock back in the day) and the CR cast talks a lot of nice ideals and backs them up with absolutely nothing but lip service. I am now, tbh, somewhat uncomfortable when I see any of them on my timeline.
Dimension 20 is the first AP my wife and I have tried to watch since CR (we find most APs to be unwatchtable in most situations, just our own preference), My wife was curious about seeing Brendan as a DM after watching him on Game Changer, so we watched Mice and Murder (it was fun, and good, but has NOTHING on aCoFaF), and then on a suggestion moved to watch aCoFaF).
Last piece of the puzzle, WotC is a fucking nightmare company that has harbored some of the worst pieces of trash imaginable (though tbf that is not unique to them, its a major "large/old ttrpg company issue". And I quite frankly would love to never have to hear or see about anything wotc ever does ever again, preferably because they burned down and everything they ever made goes with them (this sadly means I would lose 4E but sacrifices must be made).
Things I like about a Court of Fey and Flowers
The first thing I love about it, is its a very role play heavy AP, and it centers on matters of Political fey intrigue, and that is done so masterfully by every single player and by the GM. (I absolutely avoided D20 because of the DnD/WOTC connection, but I in retrospect absolutely understand the whole "Season of Aabria" that was going around now).
The characters were thrilling, dramatic, sneaky, nuanced and hilarious, and the storyline was gorgeous and beautifully made, allowing the players to make their own messes and their own relationships and romances. So much romances.
I absolutely loved that I didn't have to see dnd 5e be played most of the time. This is something, and one of the only somethings, you'll see me talk about in the "don't like" section, so it is strangely enough both. The system was changed and mostly ignored that I almost never had to see dnd played, the AP is so heavily social and rp and during the state of the AP only had two very very short combats that were more priority on the social implications of the combats than the combat itself. Overall it could have used any system and done what they did, but mostly I didn't have to see 5E played and that made it pretty solid, despite "being 5E".
I also love Brennan Lee Mulligan's Captain KP Hob, a very good bab and the first and only Bugbear PC ive seen in an AP (and I love me some Bugbear)
Thing's I didn't like about a Court of Fey and Flowers
This is gonna stay light, because really there wasn't much. The only thing really is that the system, while ostensibly "5E" the system was so lightly applied, used or stuck to that the game could have used almost literally any other system to better affect and I absolutely hate that they still gave 5E and WOTC some sort of props/bandwidth by barely using the system but still selling it as DnD.
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chapter 1 - house blend, hot, no milk or sugar
One thing was for sure.
He was a creature of habit.
Always walking in around 6:30 am, never past 7. Reaching the register in three long strides before giving her a smile and a small greeting. Tight-fitting athletic shirt and grey sweats, light sheen of sweat on his brow as evidence of a workout. Light blue eyes peering up at the menu from underneath a black baseball cap. As if he won’t end up getting the same thing he’s been ordering for months. As if she won’t ask him the same question every time.
“The usual?”
He’d nod with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced off to the side. Force of habit, she’d assumed.
“Yeah,”
That voice. Deep and rich, rumbling in his chest. A bit gruff as if he hadn’t spoken to anyone else since he’s woken up.
A five dollar bill — she’d hand him back his change for him to drop it in the tip jar every time.
Never a ‘thanks’ always a “thank you” as he slides his wallet in his pocket and steps back from the register. Hands folded in front of him, he’d wait patiently as she starts extracting the shots of espresso.
Medium-sized, house blend. Black, hot. No milk or sugar.
He’d glance around the tiny cafe as the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air. Body swaying slightly to whatever song was new on her playlist, eyes lingering interestedly over the paintings on the wall in the back. She’s never told him that she’d painted some of them herself. But then again, he’d never asked.
Pen in hand, she’d spend some time thinking of what new phrase to write on his cup. That’s sort of become a staple for her shop now — writing small jokes, motivational quotes, or even poorly-drawn smily faces next to people’s names.
Most people don’t bother to read their cups, but he’s not one of them.
After a few weeks of experimentation, she'd concluded that he had a particular inclination for her generic list of dad jokes — the worst of the worst (like seagulls and bay-gulls bad).
Every time she set his drink on the counter, she could sense him itching to see what she had written. But he’d always wait until he’d given her a polite “thank you” before turning around and eyeing the side of his cup, a small smile on his face as he made his way out.
He was a creature of habit.
But so was she.
Wiping down the coffee machines for the umpteenth time this morning, she fiddled with the edges of her apron as the clock neared 6:30. Her head ducked involuntary as she saw those sweatpants round the corner, like usual.
As he walked up to the register, she noticed something a little bit different about his walk this morning. His strides shorter, feet moving a bit hesitantly, as if he was preoccupied with some other thought. Perhaps nervous about something later today.
She put a bright smile on her face as she readied the notebook and pen in her hand, even though they both knew what he was going to order.
So imagine her surprise when she asks him her usual question, expecting a nod, and he responds with something she’d never expected.
“Actually, I thought I’d try something new today.”
She halted, eyebrows raising involuntary as the pen froze in her hand.
“Oh, well did you have anything specific in mind?”
“No, I uh…” there was that shy smile again, hand attached to the back of his neck. Soft pink bloomed across his cheeks. Probably an extra tough workout this morning.
“I was hoping you could help me out with that part”
“Oh.” A recommendation. She perked up, the coffee nerd in her running a million different varieties through her mind, trying to match his profile with one of them. She’d normally recommend a sweet latte — vanilla, hazelnut, cinnamon — or even a strong mocha, but Steve didn’t exactly look like the type with a sweet tooth.
“I’m guessing you don’t like anything too sugary?”
“No,” He shook his head, still smiling shyly, somehow looking almost embarrassed with himself.
“Well, in that case I’d recommend something with a little less body.”
His forehead creased in a tiny divot between his brows, before it disappeared just as quickly. He nodded enthusiastically, maybe a bit too much so.
“Sure, yeah that sounds good.”
She couldn’t help but let out a small smile, peering down and pretending to scribble something down on her notepad.
“Hmm, I have a feeling you might like the cappuchino.”
Eyes glued to a spot on the paper, she bit down hard on her bottom lip, watching his head snap up form the corner of her eye. His eyes doubled in size, something reminiscent of panic crossing his features.
Fighting back another smile, she lifted her head, picture-perfect innocence on her face, like she hadn’t just made a horrible pun using his superhero alias. Had he really thought that she didn’t know that it was the Captain America walking into her cafe every morning?
Anyone could spot those shoulders from a mile away. That stride. Everything about him screamed national hero and savior of the galaxy. Well, maybe except for whenever he was crammed inside her tiny cafe, hunched over the register and staring at her with those wide puppy-dog-eyes.
After a few moments, his body relaxed. Having bought the naive look on her face, he nodded, pulling out his wallet.
“Yeah, I’ll have… one of that please.”
“Sure, that’ll be $4.10”
5 dollar bill — a soft clink as he dropped the change in.
As the milk trickled into the pitcher, she wondered to herself why he hadn’t gone with his usual order. What about today made him want to try something different?
She told herself that she could always ask him, try and make long-overdue conversation. But as she peered up at him over the coffee machines, she noticed that his eyes were glued to his phone.
She watched him type something in enthusiastically and smile at whatever lit up his device in response. What did someone like Captain America text about anyway? When he was going to meet up with Ironman for their next Earth-saving mission?
A warm smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, she’s never seen that kind of look on his face before — the pictures of him on the news always made him out to be so rigid.
Redirecting her focus to his coffee, she waited until the milk was raised to the perfect temperature before easing the steamer out of the pitcher. Tiny, white foam bubbles popped at the surface as she scooped them out with a spoon, laying it carefully over the espresso. Snapping a lid onto his cup, she reached for her pen, debating in her head what to write this time.
Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm it would be justwater.
Absolutely atrocious, but somehow fitting given his not-so-hidden identity.
A polite “thank you, have a nice day” before he made his way out, that endearing smile emerging on his face at her joke before he rounded the corner and disappeared.
Incredulously enough, she realized that the 5-minute conversation they had today was the longest one yet. Him asking her for a recommendation? Brand new to her routine.
But the way she leaned on the countertop, chin in hand, wondering helplessly about a man whom she knew nothing about (other than his favorite coffee order)?
That.
That was nothing new.
(cap)puccino, w/ milk and sugar masterlist
#mcu#mcu marvel#marvel mcu#marvel fic#marvel fanfiction#mcu fic#mcu fanfiction#captain america#steve rogers#captain america fic#captain america fanfiction#steve rogers fic#steve rogers fanfiction#romantic fanfiction#fluff#angst#hurt/comfort#cafe au#steve rogers au#marvel au#marvel cinematic universe#captain america au
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I asked this in the tags of one of my posts, but I'll asked it for the Tumblr CR fandom in general:
What is your favorite Critical Role D-list NPC who you may be the biggest fan of in the fandom and why?
Mine, as I said in the post, is All-Minds-Burn. To quote Marge Simpson:
I just love that funky fungus. I want to know everything about it, its whole history. (I also want to know everything about Justi Pross which, while related, seems like a bit of NPC double-dipping on my own question, so I'll refrain.) Is it what it seems like on the surface (so to speak)? Is it just here to explore life, share good times, and kick the Paragon's Call's ass or is it actually a force for evil that will puppet people around like very chill psychic zombies one day? I want to know!
How about you? What's your favorite D-list NPC?
#critical role#bells hells#fan theories#All Minds Burn#campaign 3#I am blatantly stealing this idea from Star Wars Explained which asks the SW's version of this question of people they interview#The answers are always a fun time
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