#cw hopelessness

[schattenhonig]

I feel like yelling, raging and destroying random things. I'm so unbelievably angry, but at the same time I'm so tired and frustrated. I know this won't reach more than the gorgeous 10 people that are always there, but I have to post it anyway.

You know how on longer hikes, the fastest people sometimes walk ahead and get lots of breaks until the slower ones catch up, and after five minutes of a break it's decided to move on? And the fast people had maybe 10 to 15 minutes of a break and the slow ones 5?

That's what disability feels like for me. I'm invisibly disabled, so people expect me to walk at their pace, figuratively speaking. I'm expected to achieve as much as neurotypical people. They rush ahead and won't believe me if I tell them I can't keep up, not on hikes and not in normal day-to-day job situations. I get left behind and end up alone. I'm used to have to solve my problems on my own because people either don't believe me or don't care.

Sometimes I'm so angry I wish all people would have to experience ableism to the extend the disabled community does. I wish there was a "thoughtful citizen internship" where people would have to experience different disabilities and how society treats them because of that, so they finally understood what it's like. I don't feel like words, posts are enough to reach people anymore.

Yes, I am bitter, and no one likes a bitter, unthankful cripple. Well, guess what? No one likes to be ostracised, excluded, judged, insulted, gaslighted, manipulated, forced to apply for some kind of minimal support at the risk of being again and again rejected, kept in dependent relationships (whether romantic or other doesn't matter), and so on. No one would like to be treated how disabled people are treated right now. And you expect me to not be bitter about you telling me it can't be that bad and I just need to look at the bright side? There is no bright side to this! Not for me, and not for so many other disabled people.

[kenni-woodard]

cw sui

Not really sui but could give those vibes so I wanted to warn.

Sometimes I just feel tired of being here. Like I don't want to live in this world because it's so different from the one I grew up believing in.

It feels so silly to realize this, but my brain didn't comprehend until recently that external staples in my life as a child will eventually die off. Places that were absolutely sacred in their own way would cease to exist. The common way of life would change.

And I just feel like I didn't sign up for this at all.

Making decisions as a young person about the future feels like it was a fruitless exercise because it gave me a false sense of being able to influence the future. Which isn't really reality. In some ways I influenced my future because I was able to purchase my home and live a comfortable life to some degree. But my workplace was bought out by a competitor and I'm spending this year winding down the app I've spent 9 years supporting so that it can be shut down for good. I have no clue what the future will look like for me.

Sometimes it just feels like anyone born after the mid to late 70's just...lives in a world that is going downhill at a faster pace than those born between the end of the second world war and the early 70s.

Between AI, the pandemic and the lack of resources it both highlighted and exacerbated, and what - to me - feels like a loss in the quality of creative endeavors and just development in general...also the complete degradation of the morality we worked so hard to develop - it feels like political attitudes in the US are going backward rather than forward. And the wars...🤦🏾‍♀️

I just feel rather hopeless about the state of things. I'm clearly only speaking from the perspective of an upper lower to lower middle class person (I hate that term but I literally don't know any other one) in the US. I know that for many in the US and in lots of places outside the US, things have been complete shit the entire time. So please forgive my whininess if my privilege is showing.

Knowing how I feel about things being minorly inconvenient, I don't even want to imagine what it feels like to have existed with less hope for the entirety of my life. Knowing that doesn't make me want to be here though. If anything that just makes me not want to live in this world even more.

[ghostcaterwaul]

CW: Mental Heath, hopelessness, mentions of suicidality

How the fuck am I supposed to keep going when I’ve, once again, lost access to mental health services and I have no support system and I’m not able to build one? How the FUCK am I supposed to do this by myself? How am I supposed to get better?

The worst part is, I feel so fucking hopeless, yet not to the point of suicidality. Suicidality offered me almost a safety net. “If it gets any worse, I’ll just kill myself.” Etc. But when you don’t even consider that to be an option anymore, what’s left? Am I just supposed to suffer with no escape? I feel so fucking trapped.

I’m so fucking exhausted. Why do I have to go through all this alone? Coping skills only get me so far. And coping is fucking exhausting too. I don’t WANT to cope anymore. I’m sick of barely keeping my head above water. Barely staying afloat. Coping only seems to make it easier for people around me, it doesn’t make me feel any better. The issues I’m coping with never seem to really get better or go away. And when I can’t cope anymore, I lash out and no one wants to deal with me.

I’m sick and tired of this vicious cycle. I don’t know what to do anymore.

[naswoop]

Brief interlude between isat fanarts to draw @dekupalace's In Stars and Time au because I am utterly obsessed <-(said while vibrating with excitement)

Lil bonus pencil sketch under the cut

[susartwork]

I realized I never put this here. Mah silly boi!

English isn’t my first language, sorry in case of misspelling.

-DWERBY-

Age: 26 years old Magic color: cyan and pink Gender: demiboy Pronouns: he/him - they/them - it/its Orientation: aromantic pansexual

Extra info: - His magic can incrase an emotion experienced by an entity. - He can decide to increase it to absurd levels, even leading the target to death. - He usually uses his magic to make people happy. He's a silly nice guy that loves helping others. - He's one of Hopeless UW!Sans' four roommates. - The two first met in a previous timeline in a psychiatric hospital. - He has never felt emotions, but with therapy he is now learning empathy. - He can feel affection only for his friends and will be happy to make them happy. - It seems like lust is the only thing he can actively feel, or he can use some magical pills to constantly feel happiness. - He can float. - "Keh heh" is the way he giggles, and he giggles a lot. Idk why this became his main trait in RP. - Voice exampe: "Tell-Tale Heart" by Timbreman

[nadianova]

one of those days..... zarinacore

[abdominal-void]

I can’t live with myself all I do is hurt people. I used to try not to but they always ended up hurt anyway. Maybe I’m covered in thorns . I can’t stop exploding everywhere and hurting everyone. Isolation is the only thing left for me. I hate being lonely but I hate being around people too. I just wish I could disappear and not be conscious anymore

[jichanxo]

call to a witch song

[silverior968]

Dead Men Halloween costumes circa 1970s, Happy Halloween!

[Image ID: A digital drawing of the Dead Men posed for a group photo. The background is dark. To the left, Larrikin dressed as Gomez Addams and Anton dressed as Morticia Addams. Larrikin's hair is slicked back and he's drawn himself a pencil mustache. He's wearing a pin-stripe suit and carrying Anton in his arms, smiling up at him. Anton has dark-colored make-up on and is wearing a black dress and shoes, and holding a rose in one hand. To their right is Skulduggery Dressed as Miss Marple, wearing a pink jacket and skirt combo, white tights and gloves, black shoes and a pink bowler hat with flowers. He also has a gray wig on. To his right is Erskine, dressed as 60s Joker, with face paint, dyed green hair, a green shirt, a black bow and a purple 3-piece suit. Knelt by his feet is Hopeless, shapeshifted to look slightly more feminine, with curly hair and a pink, blood-stained dress and heels. They are dressed up as a Night of the Living Dead zombie, with black lipstick and eyeliner running down their face. They are snarling at the camera. To Erskine's right is Saracen Rue, dressed up as Han Solo, winking. He has his arms crossed and his outfit consists of a white low-cut shirt, a brown vest, brown trousers and shoes and a holster belt. To his right is Dexter, with long wavy hair, dressed as Boromir from Lord of the Rings. He is smiling and his outfit consists of a red cape with a fur lining, a silver tunic with a brown belt and a silver collar with a white gemstone. His trousers are gray and his boots are brown. Finally, in the right side of the drawing is Ghastly Bespoke, dressed as Dolly from Hello, Dolly!. He is wearing a gold dress, and a ginger wig. / End ID]

[rakkuntoast]

i swear if qforever doesnt get a nice and healing reunion with richas and tallulah i am exploding that server myself

[carnival-core]

Hey not to make a political post but does it ever feel like we can just never win and the suffering will be forever and we're always going to have to fight with moments of peace being fleeting and not worth looking forward to

[sunnydbeam]

I detest the self-destructive country I live in. I wish I could run far away and live quietly under a fucking rock.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight

[cosmogyros]

Remember the moral panic around the supposed career-ending power of #metoo accusations? Turns out that even a full conviction for child rape won't destroy a career - unless the bosses have other reasons to want the person gone and use the accusation as an excuse.

Life-long trauma for this little girl isn't worth more than a short interruption in this volleyballer's public appearances. In the case of Rammstein, no interruption at all. Because male careers matter, and women matter only as decoration.

- text by Judith Meyer

[eldrichfuck666]

Bu baheede kimler bar?

Oyneng yar, oyneng yar

[susartwork]

[WANTED - Part 1] Next

More context under the cut:

This is a scene from Hopeless' past, when he was still forced to travel the multiverse with Flowey.

They entered this Dusttale timeline once, and look who kidnapped Hopeless from Flowey's kidnapping?

In this comic he just escaped from Reformed's house, and is... well, was hiding from both his kidnappers.

Enjoy free comic and lore (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Tell me if I should write here the dialogues too, I know my handwriting isn't the best :''D