#cynthia i swear i love you but you need to stop looking like a cornered animal whenever anybody other than ortega tries talking to you

[sidesteppostinghours]

For the seven forms of love, ludus 5 - Caine, philia 5 - Cyrus, eros 4 - Cythia, and a free ticket if you want :)

good evening! thank you for the ask wonda :)

Ludus 5. What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

see, heres the thing about caine. on top of being demisexual and dense as a brick, they also just. dont believe things like that apply to them. he was never made to be attractive(i hc that they used to map infiltration routes + carry out the occasional assasination or two), and his demisexuality made him assume that regenes weren't capable of sexual attraction. the first time he felt sexual attraction to his boyfriends he basically went "????? THIS ISNT EXCLUSIVE TO HUMANS????" and had a crisis about it the whole afternoon. the idea that people can feel that way towards them and act on it has never once crossed their mind. so good luck on getting them to realize youre flirting. chen barely made it. ortega failed. however. once the initial barriers have been breached, even if the seduction doesnt technically work, the knowledge that theyre trying to flirt is enough to get him embarrassed; so, technically speaking, anything would work as long as it comes with a flashing neon sign prefacing what theyre trying to do. hes very awkward with these kinds of things. its very cute watching him flounder.

Philia 5. What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

to keep them safe. and whatever it takes.

Eros 4. Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

oh yeah, absolutely. shed say thats what happened to her with ortega. shes wrong about that, it was only a crush at the time, but she did hold a strong admiration thats easy to confuse when looking back. as for whether or not she had a crush based on looks alone, i dont think so?? she's not the type to put too much stock in appearance– even with ortega it was a mix of how she held herself and her perceived nobility– but then again, its also easy for her to see the pretty in people, and itd be a lie to say looks arent a contributing factor for if she likes them or not. for her, how a person looks just highlights the way they are as a person. its easy for her to develop crushes, though. be friendly with the other person long enough, and its pretty much inevitable. shes very Very lucky shes got all eyes on ortega at the moment, otherwise her love life would be the most embarrassing and inconvenient thing ever.

oooo, free reign. hmmmmm. well i gotta do this with ceci now to complete the group

Ludus 1. Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

ceci always comes up with a new pick up line. always. and its always the corniest thing in the world. she loves the creative outlet, and loves throwing her enemies off even more. now that she has a consistent target, shes more motivated to come up with something new. she wants to see what makes argent tick. what makes her roll her eyes, play along, or in rare cases, actually fluster her. whether theyre effective or not depends on who shes using them on, some are more responsive to flirting than others, but the end result doesnt really matter. as long as she gets to do her thing, its a good time.

questions are from here!

[slapfish-art]

I've been writing this for AWHILE and I feel like I need to post it... criticism welcome :)))

HEADCANONS:

Jupiter and Saturn are twins, and everyone's gay.

Warning: SWEARS

After Spear Pillar

Mars paced back and forth. Their team galactic uniform was on the floor. Their uniform was covered in dust and dirt. Instead of her uniform, gray sweatpants, and a 'Travel to Kalos' shirt, "What is taking her so long? The police are going to be here soon!" Saturn laid on the couch next to her, crumpled up into a ball, sobbing. His uniform was long gone as well. He was dressed in black leggings, a small jean jacket, and a blue tee-shirt. "Jupiter! We need to leave before the cops swarm the place!" Mars banged on the door, hoping for the purple hair commander to open the door. "I'll be a minute!" Mars stepped away and began pacing again. "Where are we going to go? What are we going to do? We can't just pull up to Jubilife and say, "Hey, we're criminals, can we rent that condominium?"

Saturn jolted up. "Well, we can't just wait for Cyrus to come back. He's probably chopped liver by now." Mars started at the blue-haired man. His face was red with tears, and his hair was a mess. Saturn had been in love with Cyrus from the very beginning. He never swayed from his ideology. He always took Cyrus's more insane requests. Mars and Jupiter tried to convince him to leave with them, but he always brushed it off and kept following behind him till a few hours ago. Saturn got up off of the couch and grabbed the three suitcases. "Jupiter! Let's go!" And the bathroom door swung open to a purple-haired woman.

"My hair's a mess." Jupiter grabbed a long red coat and made her way to the door. "We're leaving with or without you, Mars. "Jupiter and Saturn started walking towards the teleporter, leaving Mars to chase after them. "Wait! I don't have long legs!" Mars pouted.

The three commanders walked through the Galactic base. Everything was chaos, grunts running around and paper flying everywhere. Some were in the corners crying for the loss of Cyrus. As the three reached the exit teleporter, a short old man ran into Mars. "Watch where you're going!" Mars kicked the old man in the crotch. He fell to the floor in agonizing pain. Jupiter looked over the old man, kicking him again for good measure. "That's what you deserve, asshole. "The three continued to walk to the teleporter. Leading them to the garage.

"Commander Jupiter, the van is running on a full tank. I have all your pokemon stored in an orange box in the back. Safe travels, commander. "The grunt bowed and opened the door. "You are a gem, Pierre. Good luck." With that, Saturn crawled in the back of the large van, laying on a small cot prepared for the commanders. Jupiter took the wheel with Mars in the passenger seat. The oversized garage door of the building opened, and the van raced out of the Galactic building. Mars watched as the building faded into obscurity. Team Galactic had been a part of their lives for so long, and they all just left it behind.

Two hours before~

Was this happening? Their boss was about to reset the universe with him as a god. The two great dragons, Palkia and Dialga, appeared levitating above Cyrus. "Jupiter, you're like my sister, and I'm sorry about all the stupid shit I do." The two commanders exchanged glances, hoping for a miracle to appear to stop this madness. "Lord Cyrus! You've done it!! Congra-" Cyrus crushed his headset, eliminating all communication between Cyrus and Saturn. "I have dreamed of this day since my childhood, Dialga, Palkia, creating my universe!" Cyrus raised his hands, and the red chains began to swirl around the dragons, making them radiate blue and purple energy.

"Enough! Stop this, Cyrus!" It was the champion, Cynthia. Cyrus just looked at her and signaled for Mars and Jupiter to silence her. Instead, the two commanders joined Cynthia's side. "You're a maniac, Cyrus, and after all of this is over, I'm sending you to intensive therapy. "

Jupiter yelled at her (ex) boss, but he just turned back to Dialga and Palkia. "Fine. I will erase your existence permanently! "

As soon as those words were muttered out of Cyrus's mouth, a colossal shadow engulfed Cyrus, making him disappear. Palkia and Dialga stood for a second and suddenly disappeared as the red chains vanished.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Mars screamed. The three's jaws dropped. All of that happened in three minutes. The three stood there for a minute until Dawn and Barry reached the spear pillar. "Stop right there, team Galactic! Oh, hi, Champion Cynthia." Cynthia turned around to see the two preteens. "Hello, small children. I was about to round up these criminals when you two showed up." Cynthia patted Barry's head, messing up his hair in the process "Cynthia… They just left." Cynthia turned around; the two commanders had vanished. "Sugar honey iced tea. Hold on, children. I'll be right back." And with that, Cynthia deployed Togakiss and soared down the mountain.

When Mars and Jupiter heard this, the two sprinted off the mountain, Jupiter's Staraptor could barely hold the two, but he managed to carry them to the base of the moutain, where the team galactic van was waiting. "Shit shit shit shit shit shit! Jupiter hit it! We gotta fuckin go!" Jupiter started the van and floored it, running over a bidoof in the process. "What are we going to tell Saturn? He's going to freak out." Jupiter ran over another bidoof. "I don't know Jupiter. Why don't we just call him and tell him upfront." Mars asked Jupiter, as they sped down the narrow road. "I KNOW my brother. He's gonna put on his jean jacket from high school and cry to Abra Gray if we tell him upfront!"

The van sped into Eterna City. The two parked in the team galactic garage. "Pierre, fill up the tank, and put all of our Pokemon in a box in the back." Pierre nodded and ran off to the back, grabbing a gallon of gas. "Mars, go upstairs and pack up all of the essential clothing, shirts, pants, jackets, all of that stuff. Me and Saturn's suitcases are in my closet to the right, and get rid of your uniform and change into regular clothes. And pack the scissors." Mars nodded and ran to the apartments. "And that leaves me with the hard part," Jupiter said to herself. She headed to the primary office.

"Traidor! Leave now and never come back!" Charon screamed. "Oh, shut up. I know all the shit you did behind Cyrus's back." Jupiter spotted her brother in the corner. She walked up to him, pulling him out of his chair. "Let's go to Saturn." He just looked at her with anger in his eyes. "I can't believe you, Jupiter! You abandoned Cyrus and Team Galactic! You shouldn't even be here! I'm not leaving this building, even if I get arrested, I will always be a part of team Gala-!" Jupiter slapped her brother in the face, pulling him to the apartment. As soon as they got into the room, she pushed Saturn on the couch. "Cyrus didn't care about us. He didn't give two shits about anyone, including you, Saturn!" Saturn just stared at his sister, Jupiter's handprint left an indent on Saturn's cheek. It looked like their fathers.

"I'm sorry, Saturn…. Let's just get changed. We need to leave before the police swarm the place. "

Sorry for the cliffhanger :)

Anyways please if you have any criticism I would love to hear it :)

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Parallels | Chapter 4

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist! | Parallels Masterlist

Characters: OC! Violet Grace Dawson, Luke Patterson, Julie Molina, Carrie Wilson, Bobby Wilson, Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, Flynn nolastname, Willie nolastname, Nick Danforth-Evans, Dirty Candy 

Guideline: Sunset Universe is the universe in which Sunset Curve is famous and Violet is friends with Carrie, Julie and Flynn. Candy Universe is the universe in which Dirty Candy is more famous and Sunset Curve has broken up. 

Song(s) used: Clued Up - Little Mix 

Warnings: none

Words:  2,845

It was almost midnight when the two girls collapsed on the floor of the dance studio after having rehearsed every single Dirty Candy song at least twice. Violet had almost gotten everything down. 

“Will you tell me more about the other universe?” Carrie asked as she stared at the off-white ceiling overhead. 

Violet turned her head a little to look at her best friend before facing the ceiling too. “Where should I start?” 

“Are we friends?” Carrie questioned without missing a beat. 

“Yeah, we’re best friends with Julie and Flynn. We spend most days in Julie’s garage, making music. We wrote at least a dozen songs together, I believe.” Violet smiled at the memory of them writing their first song together just a few years ago. It was one of their proudest moments together. 

Carrie then sat up straight, the movement capturing Violet’s attention. “Will you show me one?” she asked, and Violet shot up into the seating position too. “Please?” 

Violet’s eyes darted across the room where she found a bunch of instruments stalled. With a smile, she got up and made a beeline for the acoustic guitar in the corner before returning and sitting down opposite of Carrie. 

After having tuned the guitar to her liking, Violet placed her fingers on the correct strings and started playing. An upbeat melody chimed through the room seconds before Violet’s voice followed. 

“Hey, yeah, no, oh, oh, yeah, mmm” Listen, I used to dress like everybody else I wanted to just blend in They told me no, keep my dreams on the low Told me I'd never win, yeah I love to be different Guard up to opinions then let 'em in Tear me down, wanna see me drown Like being happy is such a sin, uh-huh”

Violet looked up for a second to find Carrie watching her with the softest smile on her face, the way Carrie always looked at her. It made her feel at home. 

“And now I'm older, it's never over It don't stop affecting me, the world keeps testing me I'm getting on track with every knock back On a bad day, I just gotta stay, stay, stay, stay”

Violet’s voice grew stronger as she lapsed into the chorus with Carrie watching her intently. 

“I stay clued up and I'm ready To love the good and live the bad C-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have 'Cause sometimes it's beauty, sometimes it's pain Sometimes it's sunshine and sometimes it's rain I'm c-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have”

“Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh, woah C-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have”

She slowed it down again, her voice mellowing out during the second verse. 

“Invisible, I feel like I'm forgotten Do you even notice me? Yeah Work myself up, let the nerves take over How I feel isn't what you see I need control, don't know how to let it go I need to learn to let it be, yeah Gotta remember nothing lasts forever So I'm just happy being me, oh-oh”

“And when I'm older, it's never over It don't stop affecting me, the world keeps testing me I'm staying on track with every knock back On a bad day, I just gotta stay, stay, stay, stay”

“I stay clued up and I'm ready To love the good and live the bad C-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have 'Cause sometimes it's beauty, sometimes it's pain Sometimes it's sunshine and sometimes it's rain I'm c-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have”

To Violet’s surprise, Carrie joined in during the post-chorus, which caused a wide, genuine smile to fall on Violet’s lips as the two voices blended together. For a moment, it was like nothing had changed and she was still in her own universe. 

“Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh, woah C-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have”

“I will never run, never run from a lesson I will never hide, never hide from the present All the ups and the downs All the heres and the nows, oh Everything I face, no, it's never forgotten 'Cause every single day is a chance I can blossom All the ups and the downs Yeah, I'm living right now, hey”

“Mmm, I'm living right now, yeah Aah, one, two, three!”

A giggle escaped Carrie’s lips before she tried her hardest to sing along with Violet. It ended up with her just echoing some of the words, but it added a certain quality to the song that Violet really digged. 

“I'm c-c-clued up and I'm ready To love the good and live the bad C-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have 'Cause sometimes it's beauty (beauty, no), sometimes it's pain (pain) Sometimes it's sunshine and sometimes it's rain (oh, sometimes it's rain) I'm c-c-clued up (up) and now I'm ready Just make the best of what you have”

“Woah-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh, oh, oh I'm c-c-clued up and now I get it Just make the best of what you have Beauty, but sometimes it's pain, mmh Sometimes it's sunshine, sometimes it's rain”

The last notes echoed through the space as the song came to an end, and made room for Carrie’s clapping and giggling. 

“That sounded great! Did you write this one?” she asked, intrigued to hear more about this universe of Violet’s. 

Violet smiled and placed the guitar next to her before answering. “Actually, you did…” 

Carrie’s eyes widened. “I did? Y-you mean your Carrie doesn’t sing about being popular and being the best at everything like I do?!” The girl was baffled at the idea that there were other subjects to write about than just popularity. 

“You should try it sometime,” Violet told her with a smile. “I’m sure you got something great in you. If Carrie from my universe can do it, then so can you.” 

“Sounds like a pretty good universe you lived in,” it sounded from the other side of the room and it didn’t sound like Carrie’s voice, whatsoever. Violet and Carrie turned their heads to find Bobby in the doorway. 

Violet smiled. “Actually, it was just okay. I don’t see you that often…” Bobby tilted his head a little before walking closer towards the girls. “What happened to Sunset Curve here? In my universe, they’re pretty big and touring the country at this very moment…” 

“We, uhm, we split up…” Bobby replied with a tinge of sadness in his voice. 

“What happened?” 

Bobby heaved in a deep breath before joining the girls on the floor. “Creative differences. I wanted to be famous, Luke was in it to prove to his parents he could make a career out of it, Alex just wanted to work out his frustrations and Reggie was just in it because his friends were…” 

“Oh, that sounds pretty terrible. Where are they now?” 

The boy shrugged. “Luke plays football, Reggie is focusing on his studies and Alex only has time for Willie.” 

“Who’s Willie?” Violet wanted to know, having never heard of the boy before. 

“Alex’s boyfriend,” Carrie replied, “And they’re the cutest couple on earth, I swear to God!” 

Violet’s eyes widened. “I knew Alex was gay. I swear the whole dating-a-different-girl-every-night was just a publicity stunt!” The Wilson siblings shot the girl a questioning look. “It’s a long story… But Alex is gay! Yay!” She excitedly clapped her hands, making the two teenagers in front of her chuckle. 

“So, any clue how we’re gonna get you back?” Carrie asked then. 

Violet smirked, “You already sick of me, Wilson?” Carrie’s mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. “I’m kidding. But no, I’ve got no clue whatsoever… There must be a reason why I’ve been brought here, right?” 

“I mean, you did tell me you wished someone would believe in me,” Bobby muttered, his voice laced with hurt and betrayal. 

Violet’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry about that, Bobby… I’m sure I didn’t mean it…” 

The three kids let the words settle in their brain before the three of them burst out into laughter. That sounded weird, even considering the situation. 

For the rest of the night, the three of them brainstorm together, trying to figure out what reason could be behind the switch. There had to be a reason for her to suddenly show up here. It had to mean something. 

Determinedly, Violet stormed through the hallway towards where she last saw Julie, Flynn and Carrie. They were still at Julie’s locker and, like they had many times before, immediately shut up. This time, Violet ignored it and instead came straight to the point. 

“What’s this?” she asked and showed the girls the picture she had made of the news article in the trophy case. “This isn’t right! Sunset Curve broke up a year ago!” 

Just as the words left her mouth, a girl Violet could recognize from miles away walked her way. She had a strut in her step and her long, black hair swooshed behind her with every swaying step she took. 

“Kayla!” Violet called out and when her friend turned around, her face screamed disgust. 

“What do you want?” she asked, her tone laced with annoyance. 

Violet’s eyes flicked from Kayla to Carrie and back. Kayla and Carrie weren’t friends here. And neither were Violet and Kayla. Dirty Candy wasn’t a thing in this universe. Though the logo on Kayla’s badge that was pinned to her jean jacket said differently. 

“Nothing – N-nevermind.” Violet turned back to the girls she was previously talking to. “Does Dirty Candy exist?” she asked in a hushed voice. 

“Yeah,” Carrie replied, the volume of her voice matching Violet’s. “It’s Kayla’s. She created the band with Dana, Cynthia and Sophia.” 

Violet blinked a few times, trying to process all the information. “Dana’s in the band?” she whispered, and neither of the girls were sure if she was talking to them or not. “Dana got kicked out of Dirty Candy… Our Dirty Candy.” She said that last part to Carrie. 

“Vi, we were never in Dirty Candy…” Carrie told her with furrowed eyebrows. 

Julie lifted her hand to Violet’s arm. “Are you certain about that universe thing?” 

“Yes!” Violet groaned. “This isn’t the world I’m used to living in. In my world, Carrie and I are in Dirty Candy and we haven’t spoken in over a year since your mother died.” She pointed at Carrie first, then gestured to the two other girls before her gaze landed on Julie. 

Julie’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Her mother really did know more, she was certain of it. There was something she was hiding and Julie had to find out what it was. But first, she wanted to know more about this universe Violet seemed to come from. 

She grabbed Violet’s hand and dragged her towards the empty music room at the back of the school where no one ever came. This used to be Sunset Curve’s rehearsal space during their free periods and  now, Julie used it to work on her music when the girls couldn’t help. 

“Tell us more about that universe of yours,” Julie demanded as she hopped onto a desk in the corner. Her eyes flicked to the other two girls, searching for their approval before adding, “We wanna know everything.” 

“So, in my universe, your mother passed away. She got ill, really ill and after she passed, you lost your love for music. You didn’t sing a note for a year and we kinda lost each other. Carrie and I started to spend more time together afterwards and eventually created Dirty Candy. We grew our band with Cynthia, Sophia and Kayla, and became more and more popular the more we performed at school and at Chubbie’s pizzeria.” 

Carrie’s eyes twinkled at the idea of forming a band with her best friends, though she couldn’t quite see how she could start a band without Flynn and Julie. There was no Carrie and Violet without Flynn and Julie, or any other way around. 

“You have a Chubbie’s too?” Flynn questioned, earning a glare from Carrie and Julie. 

“That’s your question?” Julie shot back, shaking her head. She then turned back to Violet. “Continue, please.” 

Violet chuckled a little. “Besides rehearsals for Dirty Candy, I mostly hang out at Carrie’s where Bobby mostly mopes around because he doesn’t have any friends since Sunset Curve split up.” 

“Why’d they split?” Carrie wanted to know. 

“I don’t know, some drama, I guess? I don’t really pay much attention to him, to be honest.” A soft laugh escaped Violet’s mouth at the thought of teasing Bobby to the fullest with all her stupid pranks and witty comebacks during rehearsals. 

“Why’d you switch places with our Violet?” Julie then queried. 

Violet shrugged. “If only I knew that… The blogpost I found doesn’t really give a theory about why people switch places with their parallel self. It just – happened, I guess?” 

Julie mulled the answer over in her head whilst her teeth dug into her bottom lip in thought. She knew she could ask her mother about all of this. She had to know something about it. There had to be more that she could tell them. 

“I think there’s someone who can help us,” she muttered and jumped back on her feet. Her three friends followed behind her until they reached the street and they were on their way to Julie’s house. Their last period was a free period, so it wouldn’t really matter that they left school early. It was something they did quite often to go and jam in Julie’s garage. 

“Mom?” Julie called out as the girls entered the house. “Mom! You home?” 

Rose entered the hallway from the living room with a wide smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes that Violet hadn’t seen in years. The girl’s eyes widened upon seeing the curly-headed woman. She was alive. Alive and well and right in front of her. 

“You– you’re alive… Miss Molina… You’re alive. You’re actually–” Violet let out a surprised chuckle whilst tears pooled in her eyes. “You’re actually alive…” she breathed. 

Rose’s eyes darted from Violet to her daughter and the other girls before landing back on Violet. A light behind her eyes flicked on, signalling at the resemblance of the situation she had found herself in years ago. 

“I know what’s going on here,” Rose mumbled before heading into the kitchen. The girls exchanged glances before following the Latina woman. Violet and Julie took a seat at the table, opposite where Rose had taken a seat, while Carrie leaned against the counter where Flynn hoisted herself onto. 

With the girls’ expectant eyes on her, Rose heaved in a deep breath. “You’ve switched universes, haven’t you?” was the first question she asked. “You fainted and woke up in a world where you know the people but they lead completely different lives?” 

Violet’s mouth dropped, her eyes flicking to the other girls before focusing back on Rose. “Y-yes, that’s… That’s exactly what happened.” 

Rose smiled faintly. “I got myself in the same situation…” she admitted. “I was eighteen at the time and I had told my boyfriend at the time that I wished I lived in a world where he wasn’t such a jerk. Next thing I knew, I fainted and woke up in a world where my boyfriend was gay and my friends led completely different lives from mine. I was in a band, Rose and The Petal Pushers, and we were pretty famous there. All my other friends either didn’t talk to me anymore or were in my band.” 

Carrie and Violet exchanged a quick glance. That sounded an awful lot like them. 

“How did you get back here?” Flynn questioned from her spot on the counter. 

Fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist, Rose continued. “There’s this unfinished business I had to complete in that world and the Rose I knew had to do the same in mine. My unfinished business was getting Rose and The Petal Pushers in a band while the other Rose had to help find my boyfriend’s way out of the closet…” she smiled at the memory that floated back to the surface. “Aside from marriage and having two beautiful children–” she tucked a strand of Julie’s hair behind her ear with a smile, “The switch was the biggest adventure of my entire life.” 

“Wow, mom,” breathed Julie. 

Violet nodded her head, “That’s a crazy story, miss Molina.” 

Rose scoffed and reached for Violet’s hand. “Please, you call me Rose in this universe.” 

A smile landed on Violet’s cheeks. “Thanks for the reassuring story, Rose.” 

“I hope it calms your nerves and worries about all of this.” 

“It definitely does.”  

Rose smiled before patting the girl’s hand. “So,” she said, “What’s your unfinished business?” 

Everything Taglist: 

@bonobos-candy-bar-2​ @calamitykaty​ @littlemissaddict​ @n0wornever​ @phantompogues​ @praetorofthelegion @sweetpeasturtleneck @wanniiieeee​  @lesko​_ @sunsetwilson​ 

JATP Taglist: 

@90ssunsetcurve @angryknightstatesmantrash @authentic-gillespie @bexxy @bookdealer5 @bright-molina @brooke0297 @bucksmaddie @buckybarnesishot310 @caitsymichelle13 @candycornmgg @catgirlpwr @charliesmountains @cordeliascrown @crybabyddl @echocharm17618 @fangirlangioma @flower-name @frickin-bats @gray_jato @hannahhistorian92 @happinessinthedarkesttimes @headheartbellarke @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @jandthephantoms @jaskiers-sweetkiss @jatp-is-god @joynerxmercer @kaitieskidmore1 @kcd15 @kelpwithawhy @kinda-really-lost @kiss-themoongoodbye @knitsessed @lilostif16 @lookingthroughmirrors @magicalxdaydream @marinettepotterandplagg​ @musicianspiritsblog @mystic-writings @notasofti @pxperphxntom @rangerelik @rh-girlonfire @ruvaitkevicius @spencerreidwhore @stars-soph @stressyanddepressysimp @sunsetcurvej @talk-on-the-street @tefilovesreading @tenaciousperfectionunknown @teti-menchon0604 @the-hufflepuff-hunter  @thedarkqueenofavalon @cucumbers-and-olives @thequirkybookaholic @threeghostboys  @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @whitetigerlover17 @boggie-brainrot @wiselight @gigglysokkamcu @nightfurya

Luke/Charlie Taglist: 

@camiladelrio98 @cloudy-skyler @gingerxarmy​ @killerqueenfan @lolychu @lovesanimals @luckylouiebug  @lukeys-giggle​ @myfriendscallmebeans​ @needyreggie​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @rachmmb​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @thecharlietomygillespie @whitemanshoe19​ @rottenroyalebooks​

Crossed out names are the users I was unable to tag. Please make sure everything in your settings is set so I am allowed to tag you or if you changed your url, please drop me a message/ask!

TAGLIST |  MASTERLIST | PARALLELS MASTERLIST

[temptingempress]

The Mafia’s Princess (3)

Summary: “I can’t loose you because if I loose you I loose myself. You’re all I have left.” she begged him to put the gun down. Her bloody knees splashed into the mud. Helicopters surrounded them and the sirens were getting closer and closer but she could think about was him. The man whom she fell in love with, standing in front of them. Gun pointed towards his head.

This is a HoseokxOc story but feel free to think of her as y/n. I just didn’t want to call her y/n so I used my own character that you’ll see in a lot of my stories but her mood and temperament will change in each story. The character depicted in the photo is my imagination of her, you can depict her anyway you would like.

Warning: Injuries, swearing, knife mentions, mafia mentions (obviously), a little bit of angst. 

Previous: https://temptingempress.tumblr.com/post/641614237353099264/the-mafias-princess-jhs-2

“Almost there.” Hoseok huffed as they climbed the hill that led to the abandoned garage. The garage was originally popular amongst the civilians but the town turned into a ghost town, which made it the perfect place for mafia’s to meet up for certain things. 

Areum’s P.O.V

I let out a slight giggle hearing Hoseok’s huffs and his struggles to make it up the hill. For a big buff mafia man you’d think he could walk thousands of miles but he could get out of breath just by opening a jar of pickles. “Come on Muscle Man. Just a few more feet to go.” I teased earning a hearty chuckle back from him. “You gotta remember that I hauled your ass for like 3 miles.” He poked my head gently but still managed to make me flinch. “Scaredy cat, ah, there it is.”  Hoseok’s P.O.V

Oh thank goodness, I was about to fall face down out of exhaustion, It’s been hours that I’ve been on my damn feet. The large garage was right behind the abandoned mall aka the drug trade. I leaned against the concrete wall showered in explicit graffiti. Taking out my phone I dialed the driver’s number. I took Areum’s hand and pulled her closer to me “Stay close, the crackheads lurk.” The phone then picked up and he said his usual phrase “Annyeonghaseyo jeoneun bangtan sonyeondan hwanggeum maknae jeon jungkook imnida”  “Where are you.” I asked him bluntly, too tired to deal with his absurdness right now.  “Ahh, I’m in the garage.” The sound of the engine rumbles in the background making it hard to decipher what he was saying  “I’m with Cynthia and we are on the fifth flight!” Letting out a low groan, I sure didn’t have it in me to walk five flights up. My legs would surely give out or possibly crack in half. “Drive the car down, the damsel in injured.” Areum crossed her arms as her cheeks puffed out like two balloons “Why do I have to be the damsel? Do I look like I’m in distress? Why can’t I be the hero or the even the black widow!” she went on and on but her words begun to blur out. I was only focused on how to get into that damn car and get back to the house as fast as we humanly could. “I can’t boss, someone might catch us!” “Jungkook that’s a demand not an order. If anyone sees us then we’ll just send an assassin out or something.” “Ah! Quiet down boss. I’m comin I’m comin. You’re gonna get us caught one day.” he then hung up on me which made me slightly irritated. “I should’ve never hired that damn maknae.” Areum slouches next to me but she still with held the smile lurking on her lips. Times like these, it gets comforting to see especially from her. “How do you do it huh?” I chuckled a bit and took her wrist, pulling her closer to me so we could warm each other up in this cold weather. “How do you manage to smile in the most fucked up situations?”  “Well, as long as I’m with you the situation isn’t that bad. Besides, I like to see you struggle.” She jokes with a slight laugh giving me the answer I should’ve anticipated. 

“Ha ha.” I sarcastically laugh along, ruffling her hair up with my rough fingers. Then, the car finally arrived. It was a old and dirty truck which suits this place very well. I opened up the back door for Areum to go in first. If anyone saw us pull up in a brand new red convertible they would know something was up. Jungkook then put his foot on the gas and pulled off rather very fast. Areum rushed to put her seatbelt on while everyone else just sat there exhausted. It was just the wee hours in the morning, nobody was on the roads so Jungkook cranked the windows down. As long as nobody recognized Areum or me, we should be good. We took the back roads just to make sure. Jungkook turned on the speakers to his favorite songs then spoke loudly “How’d your little getaway go!”  Cynthia, the co leader of this mafia, turned down the speakers to allow Areum and I to rest. “Jungkook, why do you have to be so loud all the time?”  I knew Cynthia every since I inherited this whole mafia business. She’s always been like a sister to me. She was there whenever I needed her and whenever I didn’t. 

I put my hands behind my head and let out a long sigh “It was nice until someone called the damn cops on us.” I let the wind cool me off as I closed my eyes “That part really spoiled the whole entire thing.” Areum hummed to the country music playing in the background. “But it wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle! Right Hoseok?” “Mmhm.” I felt myself falling into a deep sleep. My energy to perform anything at this point was drifting away. 

Areum’s P.O.V

I took a cover from the floor and draped it over Hoseok he looked like he was passed out. I couldn’t blame him. “I’m sure Hoseok took good care of you... as always.” Cynthia sighed to herself.  My face scrunched up as I felt slightly offended, I tried to calm myself down, trying not to get that stuck up princess attitude I always tend to have... I’m working on that. I am. “I guess.” I felt my leg start to sting a bit. The adrenaline was running out and the pain was setting in. Letting out a quiet grunt I held my leg close  “I got bit and scratched by dogs.” Jungkook turned back to see the blood beginning to drip down my leg again. I must’ve injured it when I got back up to walk. “Yikes.” Jungkook spoke “Don’t worry, we’re almost there.” He passed me a box of tissues “Here”.

 Cynthia looked at me then back to the road “You have to stop being so careless whenever you’re around him.” “Careless?” I took the tissues and started to wipe off as much blood as I could. Once I saw the cut, it only stung even more. I couldn’t think of a smart response because of it. It hurts like hell but I wanted to keep my composure. 

Strong women don’t cry right? 

Besides, I wanted to be strong for him. I wanted to be strong to Hoseok and to prove everyone that I deserve to be here.

As we drove up to the big mansion where the mafia resided in Jungkook parked the car and I was cared for immediately getting escorted to their little medical room by her assigned nurses. Out of the corner of my eye she saw Cynthia caring for Hoseok, walking him back inside with one of his arms draped around her shoulder. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a hint of jealously inside my heart. Ever since I’ve met her she’s always given me ‘Oh, I’m better than you’ vibes but I’ve been trying to brush it off. I don’t want my own jealousy to get in the way of Hoseok and I. I never did. I looked up to a girl with a silver necklace hanging down her neck. It was Lisa, Hoseok’s sister.

-

“Follow me” she hums as she takes the mysterious criminals hand. They were rough and she noticed that they were also tatted. She couldn’t get a full glimpse but it looked like part of a dragons tale. The man spoke up as the princess led him through the endless maze of twist and turns.

Hoseok’s P.O.V

“Why are you helping me?” This could be a big trap but then again I have no choice. If it wasn’t for her I’d be surrounded by this damn kingdom and if she pulled anything stupid I have a gun right on my hip and I’m not afraid to shoot little miss princess. A person who gets anything and everything under her fingertips. People like her is the whole reason why me and my family rebelled. People like her enforced the stupid laws society has, People like her ruin everything I’ve worked for but here I was holding her hand. Her grip was tight so it wasn’t like I could let go. “Because I want to help you.” She hums with a slight smile “Besides the castle needed a little action.” We then came to another dead end, this time we were surrounded by vineyards of roses and fine grapes.  “And you do realize that you are helping the number one felon in Korea right now?”

Before the princess could respond she ripped the bottom half of her expensive dress off so she could have more freedom in her strides which threw me off a bit. Her thighs are now fully exposed and she had not problem with that. “So?” She took the fabric and tied it along her thigh “You do realize that the wealthiest girl in Korea is helping a felon out right?” She echos. “Do you have a knife?”  I pulled out a pocket knife and handed it to her, even though I probably shouldn’t of. This was getting pretty interesting and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to know where it was going. The princess went up to the vines and cut them open. I chuckled as she did so “Very smart princess,  but wouldn’t they follow us inside-” After she was done cutting the vines a door was revealed. She twisted the golden knob and it led us inside what seemed like to be a small bedroom, with a tv, bed, and a large bookcase. There were paintings on the wall but they seemed like they were either drawn by her or someone else. 

The princess pressed on a red button and the vines attached to one another again as if nothing even happened. The princess smiled at me, feeling proud of herself for helping a person like myself out. “You’re welcome.” she beams I scoffed to myself and looked around her mini hideout “You led me to a bed. I’m not interested in making out with you right now, I need to get back to my base.” “Make out?” She crosses her arms and a light blush appears on her face “I wouldn’t t-touch you with a ten foot pole!”  I looked down at her hand still attached to mine but she quickly let go of it. I sighed as I started to look around. Thinking about how I could ever get out of here without getting caught. I didn’t want to escape in the morning because that’s when small children flood the maze. It wouldn’t be a good look for a grown man with a gun attached to his hip be in it with them. And besides, I’m on a time schedule.

 The princess spoke once again, her arms not leaving her chest “Who says I don’t have a way for you to get out!”  “Look sweetheart.” I took out my gun and pointed it towards her head, I really didn’t have a choice. “Stop playing games, get me out of here now or I will shoot you.” She froze once I pulled out my gun but the same smile appears onto her face. What was this girl? Some type of psychopath? “You wouldn’t kill me Mister. If you did you’d spend more time in prison or possibly the dungeon than you’d intend to. Ah, who am I kidding they’d possibly put you to death.”  I didn’t drop the gun but she did make a point. I know at some point in my life that I was going to go to jail or die but it’s too soon in the game. I plan to hold my father’s legacy until I die. “Show me the exit now.” My voice rose to stir more fear in her but it failed.

“Not until you tell me your name.” She looked me straight in the eyes. “I.. I want you to be my friend.” “I’m not a good friend.” I chuckled at the how naive this woman was. “I’ll tell you what. You show me the exit and you get a name. Deal?” She thought it over for a moment, lowering her arms she nodded and walked to her bookcase. she pushed it aside and there was a window. It seemed to be led to the woods. I wondered why there was even a such thing in a whole kingdom. Why was she the only one who knew about this.  “Can I get-” Before she could say another word I pushed her to the floor, causing her to loose her balance and fall. She shouted at me before I made a run for it. I should’ve killed her. The window was already unlocked to that made it easier for me. Did I feel bad about it?

No, I didn’t. 

It was my sister’s birthday and I’m already running late. I checked if I still had the necklace in my pocket and it was still in it’s pretty velvet box. -

Areum’s P.O.V

Lisa helped me onto a bed then got her gloves on. She was very careful not to hurt me anymore than I already was. I trusted her, so I allowed my eyes shut. She was a certified nurse even before this whole mafia deal begun. Lisa accessed the bite and scratches “That dog left a pretty big mark on you.” She informs as she sterilizes her equipment before she uses them. “But it’s nothing I can’t handle.” I chuckle and look down at her “You sound so cool when you say that.” She gave me a smile as she starts to apply alcohol which stung even more. I winced but held in my pain. “You can scream if you’d like. I’m not here to judge.” Lisa hummed.

Well, If I had her permission...

-

Hoseok P.O.V

“Where’s Areum?” I asked as I held onto Cynthia’s shoulder. I didn’t even notice that we were already to the quarters. I must’ve fell asleep. “She’s getting treated.” Cynthia laid me on my door post allowing me to catch my composure again. Cynthia sighs as she dusts off her red dress that she always wears whenever she’s going out. Unlike me, she could go out whenever she pleases. Her identity hasn’t been given out yet so that’s why she’s our lurer. She lures people with her “charm”  so we could eventually handle business with  them. “You know.” She walks a little closer to me, feeling my cheek to make sure that the small cut would be okay “If she keeps getting you in danger like this then I’m not sure if she’s the perfect cut for this mafia.” “Cynthia.” I sighed and pulled away from her fingers. “Not this again. Areum is just as deserving as you are.” “What Hoseok, we all know it. She can’t even fend for herself. What makes you think she could fend for you? You’re only putting her in danger, not only her us! The whole mafia empire.” She got a bit mad but she soon calmed down by the look I was giving her. “I’m tired alright, can’t we talk about this some other time?”  Cynthia gave me one last look before she went her own way. She had a mission this morning but I had a whole bunch of overdue sleeping to do until I get back on my feet again. I went inside of my room, not even caring to turn on the lights. I just kicked my shoes off and threw my body on the big master bed awaiting me. It felt amazing but yet so empty without Areum lying by my side. As I wrapped myself in the covers I couldn’t help but to think about Cynthia’s words. She was right, if people found us out then it would be over for us as we know it but...

 I guess I’m a sucker for her love but I know that this chapter will soon come to an end. It’ll take a miracle if it’s a good one. ~

I hope you guys enjoyed, if you want me to add something more spicy my dms and asks are always open :) Please like this so it gives me motivation to go on! Also, do you like the cover work?

Your friend,

                  TemptingEmpress 

[kandoesfanfics-writes]

The Mug

So this is posted on AO3 as well---> Link

This is for @kceedraws as if was inspired by a conversation over discord. I hope you enjoy!

Everything felt off.

The dark haired woman rubbed her head and sighed. Her head was pounding, but she was determined to get her shopping done. Grey eyes scanned the shelves, looking at the different kinds of coffee mugs. She needed to buy new ones after her boyfriend broke several in a sleep deprived fit of elation, having just cracked a case. The issue?

This store had the coffee mugs stocked near the candles for Kwamis knew what reason! Normally the candles didn’t bother Marinette, but for whatever reason, the smells were too intense for her. Every time someone opened a candle next to her, she’d smell it and immediately feel nauseous. It almost made her snap, but she held herself together after taking several deep breaths.

She could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat as someone opened a cinnamon candle. Her hand flew to her mouth as she tried to fight the urge to vomit. She managed to swallow the bile down, but looked to see who’d opened the candle.

Marinette was greeted by a guilty looking child. A little boy, probably no older than six, was looking up at her with worried brown eyes. His lower lip was wobbling as he slowly put the jar down. He looked as if he were going to cry as he said, “I-I didn’t mean to make you sick.”

She felt her heart break a little at the remorse in his voice.

“Oh, it’s okay, honey. You didn’t make me sick,” Marinette said, kneeling down next to him. “I wasn’t feeling well before you opened the candle. Thank you for putting it back though. The smell was hurting my tummy.”

“You’re not sick?” the little boy asked. “My mommy works at a doctors office, an’ she can help you if you’re sick.”

Marinette was just about to tell the little boy it was okay when a woman came around the corner.

“Marcus, there you are! Now what have I told you about wandering off?” the blonde said. “I’m so sorry if he’s caused you any trouble, miss.”

“Mommy, the lady is sick! I opened a candle, an’ she looked like she was gonna barf!” Marcus told his mother. “You’re a nurse, can’t you help?”

His mother looked at Marinette before apologizing.

“I’m really sorry, miss. Marcus really likes to smell the different candles. It’s his favorite thing to do when we shop here. I’m assuming he picked a smell you were sensitive too—”

Marinette waved her hands quickly, insisting that Marcus was okay.

“To be perfectly honest, I’ve apparently become sensitive to all sorts of smells. Every time someone opens one, I feel nauseous,” she said. “It wasn’t his fault. It’s probably something I ate not agreeing with me. It’s been happening a lot to me lately.It’s strange though. I used to love some of the foods I can’t eat anymore”

The mother went quiet for a moment.

“So you’re having sensitivities to food, and your sense of smell has gotten slightly stronger. Do you have any cravings for particular foods? Mood swings?” she asked.

Marinette’s eyes widened as she nodded.

“Bloating? Needing to pee more frequently despite not increasing the amount you drink?” the woman continued. “And this last question might be a little personal, and you don’t need to answer it out loud. Just think about it. When was your last period?”

Marinette inhaled sharply. When was her last period? She hadn’t really been paying attention. Marinette had assumed that it was late due to the amount of stress she’d been under lately. Not to mention that Marinette had been taking birth control, and they’d been using protection. She could vaguely feel her breathing speeding up, and a hand on her shoulder.

Marcus’s mother had reached out to her, and Marinette could hear the other woman telling her to breathe.

“You might just be sick, but I work at an obstetrics and gynecology office,” she said slowly. “I’ll give you their card. If you want to set up an appointment all you have to do is call. If they asked if someone referred you, tell them it was Cynthia Hall.”

Cynthia gave Marinette the business card and told Marcus to say goodbye.

“Bye bye, Miss—” Marcus trailed off, realizing he’d never got the lady’s name.

“Marinette,” she said with a smile. “You can call me Miss Nette if that’s easier. It was nice meeting you, Marcus.”

“Bye bye, Miss Nette! I hope your tummy gets better!” he said happily, making Marinette chuckle.

“I’m sorry if we’ve both troubled you today, Marinette,” Cynthia said. “I hope you have a nice day.”

As mother and son walked away, Marinette grabbed the first mug she saw and ran to the checkout.

She had to stop at the drugstore on her way home. 

———— 

A dark haired man shuffled out of the bedroom groggily as he rubbed his eyes. The drug smugglers had really tried their damndest to encode their drop locations, but after a few weeks of hard work, Tim had finally managed to crack the code. He’d just sent Bruce everything he had. The young man figured his adopted father and probably Jason would go to deal with it. Damian had school, and Dick was the one currently responsible for keeping an eye on him.

“Ma lutine?” he called out, looking around. “Ma lutine, are you home?”

His blue eyes scanned the room until he noticed a fresh cup of coffee on the table and a note.

Mon beau, 

I’m in the bathroom. I’m going to take a shower, but thought you might want to sleep in. Here’s some coffee for you when you wake up. I love you!

-Marinette

He smiled fondly at the note and picked up the mug of coffee. He took a few gulps and sighed happily as the warm liquid filled his stomach. After a few moments he took note of the sound of the shower running. A devious smile crossed his face, and he gulped down the rest of his coffee.

Since the coffee was still nice and hot, that meant that Marinette had just made it. If she made it before she got in the shower, then that meant she hadn’t been in the shower long. If he finished his coffee fast enough, then he’d get to join her in the shower. He liked showering with Marinette. She was always so sweet, washing his hair for him.

Once Tim was certain he’d drained the entire cup, he went to put it in the sink. As he did, he realized that something was written at the bottom. Tim picked the mug back up and held it closer to his face. There was something written on the bottom. Huh, that was odd, Marinette didn’t usually buy cups like that—

The mug nearly shattered, but Tim caught it just before it hit the floor.

Without another thought, he raced to the bathroom.

———— 

Her hands were shaking as she looked down at the stick in her hand.

A pink plus sign stared back at her.

She was pregnant.

She was pregnant with Tim’s baby.

Her and Tim were going to be parents.

Marinette had no idea how she was going to tell Tim. There were so many thoughts racing through her head. What would Tim say? Would he even want the baby? Did he want to be a father? Was she ready to be a mother? What would her parents say? What would Bruce say? Would Tim still want to be with her—

Her thoughts stopped as Tim burst into the bathroom, the new mug clenched in his hands.

“Ma lutine, is it true?” he asked, his tired blue eyes wide.

Marinette looked at him in confusion for a few moments before Tim handed her the mug and told her to look in the bottom. She did, and her jaw dropped. At the very bottom of the mug said the following:

You’re going to be a dad!

She wordlessly handed him the pregnancy test she just took. Her heart pounded in her chest as she looked at Tim, silently waiting for him to speak. She watched his eyes widen as he looked at the little pink plus. Tears welled up in her eyes and she felt like she was going to cry before Tim grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“We’re gonna be parents! Oh my god, we’re going to be parents!” Tim whispered into her ear. “God, we’ve got to tell Alfred and your parents. They’ll be so excited. There’s so much we need to do…”

“...you...you want to keep the baby?” Marinette asked softly. “You want...you want to keep us?”

Tim pulled back from Marinette to look at her tear-filled blue eyes. He cupped her face gently before saying, “Of course I do, ma lutine. I-I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you. I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I love you so much. Our baby will have such a good mama...and I swear to you, I’ll do my best for them.”

“What about Red Robin? What about the fact we’re vigilantes—”

“Just say the word.”

Marinette looked at her boyfriend, tears now dripping down her cheeks. She breathed slowly before asking him what he meant.

“Just say the word, Marinette. I’ll put the cowl away,” Tim said, wiping away her tears. “I’ll do it for you and the baby.”

“Tim, you love solving mysteries—”

“And I can do that from the safety of my desk,” Tim replied. “I refuse to be my father. I will do anything for our child, even if that means giving up Red Robin. I don’t want our baby to grow up barely seeing their dad. I want them to know me.”

Marinette grabbed Tim and wrapped him up in a hug. She cried a little as he rubbed her back and told her he loved her. They rocked back and forth until Tim pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“C’mon, ma lutine. Why don’t we step into the shower before it gets cold, hmm?” he said with a wolfish grin. “We’ll let everyone else know later. For now, I just want to enjoy this moment with you.”

Marinette giggled, pecking him on the cheek.

“That sounds like a lovely idea.”

[deathvalleyusa]

rust and refuse

Summary: Walter, trapped in his Otherworld with the ghosts after failing to complete the 21 Sacraments, is reminded of a clean memory in the one person he sees as the most filthy.

Characters: Walter Sullivan, Cynthia Velasquez

Word Count: 1635

A/N: Walter is a bad, bad man. No justification here for what he’s done, just a one shot in his POV. It’s been a while since I’ve written for him (or a villain in general), so it was a nice challenge. Maybe I’ll write another from Cynthia’s POV, I feel like she gets shafted a lot.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, misogny. 

In this world of piss and shit and rust, Walter has found one clean thing left.

It’s a memory, a token of his past that the Order bookends both sides. A woman, a college student who took interest in him before Pleasant River became a thing of the past. A fragment of a normal life he had stripped from him.

He’s reminded of her in grotesque ways. In corpses that resemble her a bit to much, in dreams that aren’t dreams but aren’t apart of this waking nightmare. Bloodied clothing in abandoned apartments, the views of Toluca Lake, obscured by fog.

The worst reminder is Cynthia.

His hatred for her has, for the most part, cooled. Now all that remains is a sick curiosity. Of ownership to her fate. If he was honest with himself, so does a fragment of lust. 

Temptation had been her sin, after all. 

Cynthia’s sacrifice, while not his cleanest or impersonal work, had still been necessary. He owed her gratitude for that at least. Not that she would ever accept it. 

If he was sorry, would she even accept an apology? Walter doubts it. Not that forgiveness is something he seeks. The only forgiveness he seeks is with God, with Mother, for failing once again to complete the ritual. He’s asked for Her forgiveness time and time again. There’s never any answer.

So instead, he fills his time watching. Observing. Filling boring, unending days that would let him think too much and stain his one clean thing left in the Otherworld.

One particular day, he spends hours watching Cynthia. Watching her wrythe on the ground, inky tendrils of hair moving in unnatural ways. Her blood is black and he no longer can differentiate the never-ending flow of fluid from her back from her hair.

He sees Cynthia’s shoulders seize as he shifts into the light, no longer content with looking on from the shadows.

“What do you want, you son of a bitch?” The words almost cut him. Almost.

When she finally stands, he can see the mottled skin under her wayward hair. Purple pools under her eyes in ghastly bags. Walter can’t help but hate the fact that even in death, even mutilated, her beauty has not waned.

“To talk,” he says simply. Walter is not a liar. He’s never been one. He wears honesty like armor, his truths the only thing separating himself from the blackened souls of this world.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Cynthia spits back as she turns to glare.

“Then company.” The corners of his mouth turn upwards into a lazy smile, never once reaching his eyes. 

“Go to hell.”

Go to hell? If this was not hell, what could it possibly be? The smile nearly drops, composure regained in a split second. 

“This is the closest we’ll both get to it, Cynthia.” The muddy green of his eyes soak up her reaction, a bristle as one dead black eye burns with contempt. “We may as well enjoy the comfort of others while we’re here.”

“Comfort? What do you know about comfort?” she laughs. The teeth still in her mouth are stained and chipped.

It seems in an instant, she morphs into a different woman. One that resembles something closer to her living self, but still mottled and corpse-like. She is no longer a Sacrament; just… Cynthia. The girl from the subway he had been taken with so many years ago, the girl screaming under him as he beat the last breaths from her body. 

Something deep in him is shaken. 

Cynthia is like a bloodhound, can smell it on him. Walter sees it in her eyes, the malice, but can’t seem to move a muscles as she slinks close, grasping at his hips. Slender fingers slide under the heavy blue coat, eliciting a surprised grunt from him.

“This kind of comfort, Walter?” Cynthia says, voice laced with sticky sweetness. 

She never calls him by his name. He knows she’s provoking him. Daring him to touch back, as he had desired for so many years. 

In the end, he does nothing. Cynthia pushes back from him, glee on her damaged face. 

“You’re never going to get it from me, you piece of shit!” 

And she taunts him, laughs that he has never known her touch nor will he ever. Calls him profanities, spits and screeches in such a way that Walter knows deep down he is worthy of such abuse at her hands. 

“Have you ever even kissed a woman?” Cynthia says, biting and hard. “Poor Walter Sullivan, only has touched a woman when he needs her dead.”

“You underestimate how normal my life once was, dear Cynthia.” A chuckle manages to find its way out of his throat, an attempt to find his way back to calm after the unexpected closeness.

That one clean thing, that memory, takes over his mind for a few moments. Strawberry blonde, bright honey eyes. Bright neon of the decade bathe her in their light. He can almost taste her again, feel skin under his rough fingertips. She was life, promise. A distraction from his true purpose, in the end. 

“She was a good girl,” he says. “You would have hated her.”

It’s an ugly laugh that emanates from Cynthia. Full of disdain and disbelief, but somehow amused. 

Walter notes it’s the most she’s allowed him to be in her presence in months. Usually she would slither off, find a hole and flit off to another part of the Otherworld after hurling an insult his way. Somehow, he feels less lonely around her. More present. Perhaps it’s the way her hatred burns so bright in sickly crimson and jagged lines. It’s enough to nearly penetrate the layer of grime around what remains of his soul. Make him feel utterly human.

“And I wasn’t a good girl?” she shoots back. “Why, because I dress some way that made you think otherwise? If she looked like me, would she have been bad? I’m surprised she’s even alive, knowing you.”

The smile slips off his face. 

“She’s still out there, in the living world,” Walter says slowly, eyeing up Cynthia. Her veneer is beginning to crack, the ghost taking over the woman. “Laughing, crying, loving. Unlike you. No one can have you unless they want a flimsy memory of a person.”

He’s brought that fire to the surface again, dark eyes going pitch black in the flickering light of the subway. There’s a terrible laugh again, almost mixed with a death rattle. He hates the sound more and more. Walter decides that he likes it better when Cynthia is quiet. That this olive branch will never happen again, if he has any say in it.

“If no one can have me,” Cynthia sneers, wisps of hair floating about her, “then neither can you. You’ll never have me, and you’ll never have your living good girl either.”

Suddenly, the cooled hatred warms again. His patience has worn thin, 

A hand snatches at the smooth skin of her neck, the other enveloping her wrist, gripping harder as the seconds pass. Cynthia had always used words to hurt him, or attempt to. Why had he not cut out her larynx when he had the chance? An oversight. Nonetheless, he smiles that grotesque smile, and whispers right back as she tries to fill dead lungs with gasps. 

“You are mine. My kill. A fixture in my world. Don’t you fucking forget that.”

She chokes out that rattling laugh of hers. It only makes him grip harder. If only she would stop, learn to be someone different, he wouldn’t need to punish her. 

“Did you forget? You have no power here anymore, thanks to Henry,” she manages to rasp. Her grip on his wrist tightens, jagged nails breaking into his flesh. 

Walter sees he’s bleeding. For the first time in ages, he wonders why the shadow of a person like him would need to bleed. Why his flesh and blood, like the others, seems so real. So easily hurt, but never destroyed. God knows he’s tried with Jimmy Stone, done everything he can to erase him completely from this world. 

“You don’t own me. You don’t own any of us,” Cynthia continues. He realizes that his grip on her neck has loosened. That he can feel trembling begin in his shoulders. “You’ve trapped yourself here with people who will never feel anything but hatred for you.”

Walter is not a liar; wears his honesty like armor. But with Cynthia comes harsh truths. She’s found the crack in his breastplate, shot her anger straight to his dead heart. He’s trapped in this world of piss and shit and rust and loneliness is his only companion, violence his only solace. 

He releases her completely. Her cracked lips part wide as she heaves in a big, gasping breath, hair now wild and inky once more. Walter sees her, sees this thing he’s helped create from her rage and fear, and he can’t help but think of his one clean thing. How he’s sullied it with Cynthia’s involvement, her terrible truths about who he is and who he was always meant to be.

There’s nothing he wants more than for Cynthia Velasquez to cease her existence, a wish that will never be fulfilled. Imprisoned forever with a reminder of his failure, of his brutality. Of the grief of a stolen life that he punished her with too. 

Before he’s even truly aware, rage has taken over. Broken skin smashes against broken skin in rapid succession. An attempt to take back his control, to put Temptation back in her place. A reminder that none of them will ever be whole, never see Paradise, because of his failure.

After a while, he can’t tell her grating screams from his own. 

[goldeneyedgirl]

2019 Fic Meme

My end of year fic meme, compiled from some old Livejournal fic memes that I do when I write stuff. I do this for fun, because I like looking back at what I have and haven’t written, and what keeps popping up again.

It’s meant to be silly fun, and if anyone else wants to do it, PLEASE DO. I don’t want to tag anyone and put pressure on you in case you don’t want to/don’t think you have enough fic/hate memes. 

Twilight

12 Days of Fic-Mas (Twilight, WIP) Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, bonus.  Twelve days of fic extracts, previews, and drabbles focusing on Alice Cullen. Encompasses Folie A Deux, The Only Girl in the World, JessaminexAlice, Omens, Asylum, The Long Way Around, The Dark and the Unknown, Hybrid, Runaway, All These Broken Things, & The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon 

Shadow to Light  (WIP) (Alice/Jasper, AU Angst, PG) In 1918, Jasper lures the newborn known as Mary-Alice back to Monterrey. He is lost to her before it even begins.

Total number of completed stories: Lol.

Total word count: 33,304 words were posted. 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?  Look, I just... 2019 was a wash in so many ways. I played a lot of Fortnite really badly. I would have loved to be able to say Shadow to Light was finished, or that I was posting Hybrid regularly or something, but I can’t. I wish, wish, wish I had posted more but alas. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Outside of Twilight, I dabbled with some reader/Ben in the Umbrella Academy, and I was messing around with some Janet/Wanda in my personal MCU canon. As for Twilight, I think my stuff got a lot darker? Like, we’re down the rabbit hole here, and somehow Alice ended up being the most feared vampire in the Americas? Yeah. 

And there’s the Avengers/Twilight fic that is simultaneously three fics and one fic because I cannot make Executive Decisions and I can’t decide if I like 1. Alice knowing Bucky from Before Jasper; 2. Alice knowing Hawkeye from when he was a kid in the circus and being how Natasha and Clint got out of Budapest, or 3. the Volturi hooking up with Hydra and ... yeah, I think this one is legit the most second-most one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever written. (I’ve been filing today, and boy howdy have I written some actual shit.)

What’s your own favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? That’s like making me pick a favourite child. I’m always so, so proud of Shadow to Light, and I love The Dark and the Unknown ‘verse, and Hybrid is just hanging out there, chilling and ugh. My babies <3 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?  TwilightFicMas was a huge risk! I wasn’t sure anyone cared unless I was posting more Shadow to Light, and people were SO nice and enthusiastic. So I guess the lesson is shut up and share more fic? Get out of your own head and spend time in the community because fandom isn’t meant to be lonely?

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?  I’m starting a graphic design business AND my masters in design in 2020, so I figure fic is going to be my downtime next year. Ideally, I would love to get STL finished, Memento Vivere’s sequel going, and have a few of my shorter pieces posted. I would really love to get some of my original stuff ready for publication, but I’d be happy studying, running my business, and doing the fic thing for 2020.  

My best story of this year: That’s up to the readers, I guess. Everyone seemed obscenely enthusiastic about The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon, though, and I was not expecting that at all - I was actually upset that I left the ‘dud’ fic for the last day of FicMas. 

My most popular story: Shadow to Light. Everyone is so nice and enthusiastic and polite about that one. I’m not used to it! Fandom for me is usually me sitting in a corner, doin’ my obscure thing, and maybe one or two people will read what I’m working on.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:  I think everyone was super enthusiastic and nice about everything I posted this year. Maybe Folie A Deux? But like, that reflects more on me and the excerpts that I chose to post rather than the fic or the audience itself. 

Most fun story to write:  The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon because that Alice is so happy; I have this playlist for it that is super upbeat and funky. 

Hybrid is fun because that Alice likes to torment Jasper. He understands Edward on a molecular level once Alice arrives. 

Most Sexy Story: The Dark and the Unknown is the front-runner for that, because most of the sexy goings-on in Shadow to Light is very much focused on the psychological and emotional aspects rather than the physical.

Story with the single sexiest moment:  The Dark and the Unknown. I am still deeply uncomfortable writing sex scenes, so this may be the only one I ever do. The implication of a blow job in Shadow to Light nearly kill me tbh.

The forest behind the school is silent; just her breathing, and the slight wind. No birds or wildlife, none of the hum of the traffic or of the school.

They don’t undress more than necessary, her skirt slid to her hips, and he takes her roughly against a tree, flakes of bark falling into the dirt. She is hot and slick, and silent as he fucks her, his fingers digging into her hips, a growl rising in his chest. She is every bit his fantasy; the smell of damp flowers, the sweetness of her flesh, her willing supplication. His fingers tear through the lace of her tights as he grips her thighs, and the heels of her shoes must be bending, she’s digging them into the backs of his legs so hard.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:  The Long Way Around makes Jasper and Alice’s relationship pretty fucked up, and tbh I look back at it and really struggle with how dark it is and how dark Jasper’s character becomes. There’s a reason that Shadow to Light is the ‘official’ version - it’s a better balance, and I actually think Maria is a lot more interesting in Shadow to Light as a villain with complex relationships with both Jasper and Alice to the point where none of them really want to have to kill each other, but there is a lot of hate on both sides. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:  That’s a hard question. Shadow to Light definitely did that because I had to consider what happened when you took Alice out of the picture, and how that changed what happened, and considered the inter-family relationships. So much of canon relies on Alice’s visions that things can’t just happen the same way. 

Hardest story to write: Shadow to Light isn’t easy because I have such a specific idea of how it plays out, how it ‘looks’ in my head, and because Alice is so fundamentally different to canon. More innocent when it comes to normal interactions, and so controlled because it meant life or death - but she’s still got to be Alice in a way that people can recognize. It also has to sound right? If I can’t get the right turn of phrase for one scene, it has to be put aside until I can work it out. 

 All These Broken Things is hard because I started it back in, like, 2014ish and my writing and understanding of the characters and canon has changed so much - plus there are a few sections that came to me quite early in the writing, and now sound really out of place, but are such a strong linchpin for the story that I have to rework them in. It’s a good kind of hard, though, because I’ve improved so much, my ideas and goals are more refined. 

Most disappointing:  Omens is a little bitch, honestly. I started it for a fic contest and kept going to explore Alice’s human life, and it doesn’t quite feel like my writing? It needs reworking, and be a little less obvious because I think the ‘four horsemen of the apocalypse’ is a good theme for a Human!Alice fic. 

Easiest story to write: Depends on my mood; Hybrid is great when I’m in kind of a ‘girls kicking ass’ mood and boot up my action girls playlist.

Biggest surprise:  Hybrid started as a love story that was basically ‘yeah, let’s make this shit super dramatic and overwrought’, and turned into this actual story with a huge focus on family and relationships. I can’t remember why I decided Alice’s father had a husband except that I was thinking about small town ‘otherness’, and LGBT+ people can and are still considered ‘other’ in these spaces. 

Then you add in Alice and Cynthia who are basically in the same boat but have been separated for their entire lives. Alice has knowledge in her corner, whilst having to fight through foster care, abuse, and hospital; whilst Cynthia has lived a very normal but privileged life as the daughter of a mixed-race same-sex couple in a very small town. I went full-hog with this, and added in an extended family, because I really hated how canon went balls-to-the-wall to isolate Bella from everyone, including Charlie. 

Like, this thing is a monster, and whilst I plan to sit down and rewrite the outline (which dates back to 2016, and I hate the ending of), I stopped outlining at 65 freaking chapters. 

Most unintentionally telling story:  I think this question that still confuses me finally gets a decent answer in The Dark and the Unknown - Jasper is seeing most of it from his perspective, and there isn’t a ton of dialogue. I’ve tried to avoid an info-dump, but it’s meant to be quite supernatural in tone, and focusing on vampire senses and gifts enhances that. 

Story I’d like to revise:  All These Broken Things wins that one. Due to the age of the piece, there are some pacing and tone issues in later chapters that are the reason I haven’t formally posted it. 

Story I didn’t write but will at some point, I swear: Oh man, I really want to finish A Thousand Years of Solitude, which is a Tanya fic. I’m really happy with what I’ve got so far, but it sounds smarter and more layered than it really is, so I’m kind of stuck. 

Mad World because Romani!Alice is super sassy and taking 0% of Swan or Cullen bullshit - I think 90% of my fic is just me going, “yeah, that’s not how normal people react.” And I’m a sucker for gothic horror. 

What else? Aww, Against A Wall which is AU Human Jasper coming from the shittiest home, and Alice finding him. It’s meant to be short, and another one I have a really clear idea of how it needs to work. 

And the one where Alice’s gift is a sentient power that pushes her to follow it; that Bad Things happen if she doesn’t; that Renesmee was always Endgame for Something, and Alice was a key piece to get that result. Or the one where Aro takes Alice as a ‘guest’ for a period because of Edward and Bella, and Alice’s gift is basically broken. 

Good times. I have like 5 years of fic on this computer, we could be here for awhile. 

[ask-the-demonic-child]

C: *She hugs him too* Will do, Wally. *She pets Lil-Ben before joining Michael. He is sitting against a wall, not really looking at her. She sighs and sits by his side* Hey.

Michael: Hey.

*They both remain in awkward silence. Michael is the one to interrupt it*

Michael: So… You still using that stupid-ass nickname?

C: *She chuckles* And who’s fault is that?

Michael: Yours if you thought anything I suggested when I was six years old made any fucking sense.

C: … It was cute.

Michael: It was dumb.

*They fall silent once more, but it doesn’t feel as tense as before*

Michael: We’re going to need one hell of an excuse to tell mom and dad for why we went missing. We can’t even write.

C: *She strokes between Lil-Ben’s horns* … How are they?

Michael: Huh? *He frowns and actually looks at her* What do you mean?

C: Mom and Dad.

Michael: People don’t change that much in a month, Cynthia. They’re fine.

C: *She shrinks a little before speaking* I haven’t talked to them. For a while. Even before I got here…

Michael: … I thought they believed you. When you told them you didn’t know, I mean.

C: I think- It’s not that- I think- they do. Or maybe they want to. But… Maybe they don’t actually. They haven’t tried to reach out for a long time. I… tried to. But, I guess whether they believe me or not doesn’t matter if I’m still the cause you’re trapped under that woman’s watch. … I don’t think they really want to see me… *She can’t hide the sadness in her voice*

Michael: …Well, we’re gonna have to have a shitty family reunion when we get out then. *He hesitates, but puts his hand on her shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting manner* Sooooooo, six lawyers, huh?

C: … Yeah.

Michael: That must have been a shit ton of money.

C: Yeah… At least triple what she sent.

Michael: …

C: … I haven’t touched it, you know? It’s still there. *She rubs a bit at her eyes. She didn’t want to get emotional right now* It just doesn’t feel right to use it.

Michael: Not even for the lawyers? *He raises an eyebrow*

C: Ha, no. Specially not for those.

Michael: … *He doesn’t look at her. He’s taken his hand back*

C: Michael, I swear on my life I didn’t know. Anything that I could have gained, even if I had meant for it to happen, is not even close to all the awful stuff that actually happened! *She grabs him by the arm, with a pleading look* Michael, that woman tricked me. And if you want me to say it, fine! I’ll say it a million times! You were right, I was wrong! I didn’t like her either, but I thought because her experience that we could trust her! But it all backfired! Before I knew it you were trapped, and she had sent that fucking letter! The only address I ever gave her was yours! Why would I expect a letter like that if I knew it would arrive at your place?! And I’m-

Michael: *He grabs her by the shoulders* Hey! Calm down! … Just breathe.

C: *She does as he tells her, her breathing slowly returning to a normal pace and for a while no one says anything*

Michael: Cynthia. Why did you really come here? You’re not so fucking stupid to just enter private property for being bored or whatever.

C: … I was having a bad day. I felt alone. *She hugs Lil-Ben closer* I was remembering the day we had the fight… I missed my little brother…

Michael: …

C: I thought since they said the studio was abandoned, nobody would care if I just stepped in for five minutes. You were the reason I watch so many of the episodes. I wanted to stop thinking about how you hated me, and instead think of when you refused to watch Bendy’s show without me, because you loved it so much that you wanted to share it with me. *This time she can’t bite back the tears* I thought maybe I’d find an Alice Angel doll, to give to you if I ever got you to talk to me again. Ha… I didn’t actually think it would happen. And the rest well… *She briefly explains the situation of the studio*

C: And then I saw you here. And now you’re stuck and in danger because of me. Fuck. You don’t even have your body anymore… *She covers her face* And I’m sorry, Michael. I’m so sorry!

Michael: Cynthia…

C: I’ll never be able to fix anything and I’m sorry! I’m so, so, sor-

Michael: Cynthia! *He looks at her with an unreadable expression* Stop apologizing. You don’t need to anymore…

C: *She blinks in confusion* Eh?

Michael: … I forgive you. *The harsh cold face he’s reserved for talking with her for the past years melt and a sad, exhausted one replaced it* And I’m sorry too. For everything… *He opens his arms and looks away*

C: *Her eyes widen, and she covers her mouth, not really believing what she’s hearing*

Michael: Come on, sis. Don’t leave me hanging. I’m gonna look ridiculous if I keep my arms like this.

C: *She doesn’t need to be told twice. She launches forward and hugs him as tightly as she can, like she fears if she lets go, she’ll lose her brother once again*

*Michael hugs her the same, almost getting teary eyed as well. They stay like that for while*

---------------------

*Lil-Ben doesn’t interrupt them in that moment. A peaceful silence falls over the corner they are in.*

((How could you rip my heart out like this??? I love it tho, every second of it gahhhhh))

[westallenfun]

A Long Winter’s Nap, Chapter 4

Westallen Secret Santa gift from @jade4813 for @westallen94

It turned out that Cynthia hadn’t been lying about the power of Nora’s persuasion, which is how Iris found herself at the Allens’ house later that evening. It was the first time in years she’d celebrated Christmas surrounded by laughter and loved ones. Ever since her dad’s death, she spent her holidays in quiet solitude, with only Hallmark movies to keep her company.

She fingered the fabric of the beautiful sweater Nora and Henry had given her as she looked at the people around her. Once again, she was struck by how much they clearly loved each other. Nora and Cynthia were laughing about a truly hideous sweater one had given the other – apparently a yearly tradition. Martin and Henry were arguing good-naturedly about some article that had just been printed in a medical journal. Joshua sat next to the tree, a ridiculous Santa hat on his head and the closest thing she’d ever seen to a smile on his face.

And then there was Barry. She turned his way and caught his eye, which is when she realized he’d been watching her. However, while she no longer saw suspicion in his eyes, she couldn’t read whatever had replaced it. When he realized he’d been caught, he flushed, but then he raised his glass to her in a silent toast. Not knowing how to interpret that, Iris frowned slightly and looked away. She might have preferred suspicious Barry to this enigmatic one. At least when he’d been suspicious of her, it had given her justification to avoid him.

After the party, Iris was wrapping her scarf around her neck when Martin looked out the window. “It’s getting pretty icy out there. Are you sure you’ll be safe driving home?”

“Oh, I didn’t drive,” Iris responded, buttoning her coat. “I actually don’t live that far from here, so I walked over. I’m sure I’ll be fine!”

Henry sucked in a sharp breath. “You can’t walk home alone in this!” he protested. “It isn’t safe!”

“No, really, I –” she began.

“I’ll walk her home.” The voice silenced her, and she turned to see Barry standing nearby. He had already grabbed his coat and was slipping it on. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll make sure she gets home safe.”

She gritted her teeth. It would be a lot easier to avoid him if he would stop being around every time she turned around. “I’m fine. Honestly. I appreciate the concern, but it really isn’t necessary. If you walk me home, you’ll only have to walk back by yourself!”

He was undeterred by her protests. “I could use the fresh air.” At her obstinate glare, he threw her a pretty impressive puppy dog look. “Let me walk you home? Please?”

She sighed and caved. “Oh, all right.” Before she could second-guess her decision, she followed him out the door.

Barry waited until they were a few yards from the house before he spoke. “There’s a reason I wanted to talk to you alone. Iris, I owe you an apology.”

Her momentary feeling of triumph faded when she remembered that he’d actually been wright all along. Her gaze dropping to the sidewalk, she protested, “Oh, no, that’s not necessary –”

Raising one hand in a halting gesture, he cut her off. “No. It is. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. The truth is –” He paused and heaved a heavy sigh. “The truth is that, as distant as Eddie has been over the last few years, I didn’t want to believe that things had gotten to the point where he wouldn’t tell us he was engaged. I didn’t want to think he’d become a person I don’t really know anymore. But the truth is…the truth is, he’s been that person for a while.”

“Oh, Barry,” she murmured. “I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure he was going to tell you.”

“It isn’t just the engagement,” he explained. “It’s…everything, really.” He sighed again and then shook his head. “But you should also know that…I’m glad. That he found someone like you, I mean. And I really did want to come by to apologize for earlier.”

“It’s all right,” she replied, finally looking back up at him. “I understand. You’re very protective of your family. But you have to understand, I never want to hurt them.”

He smiled at her. “I believe you.” Silence fell between them for a moment, and then he asked, “So how did you and Eddie meet?” When she shot him a quick glare, he protested, “I’m not quizzing you, I swear! I’m just curious. We’re going to be in-laws. I want to know more about you!”

“It’s the Mayor’s new initiative. Every police precinct is assigned to certain schools. Officers come in regularly – at least a couple times a month – to teach kids about safety, the dangers of doing drugs, that kind of thing. Eddie’s been coming around pretty regularly, so we got to talking one day and…the rest is history.” Or fiction, at least.

“Do you like it? Teaching school, I mean?”

She nodded. “Of course! It’s kind of strange, because it was never really my dream to be a teacher one day. I was going to be a cop like my dad. But I guess life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan, does it? I sort of fell into teaching, but now…I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.”

He nodded towards a large patch of ice and they swerved in their path to avoid it. “So are your parents sorry or relieved that you didn’t follow in his footsteps?” he asked lightly.

She stuck her hands in her pockets and shrugged. “Ah…he was relieved, I think. But he passed away a few years ago. My mom died when I was really little, so it’s just me now.”

Barry halted in his steps and reached for her elbow. Before he could make contact, however, he paused and let his hand fall to his side. When she glanced up at him, he said softly, “Iris, I’m sorry.”

She threw him a small smile. “It’s okay, you couldn’t know.” Flushing at his attention, she cleared her throat and decided to change the subject. “What about you? Did you always dream of being a teacher, or did you fall into it like I did?”

“I guess I fell into it. I’ve always been a bit of a science geek. For a while in college, I thought about becoming a forensic scientist. Kinda funny when you think about it. You and I both almost went into law enforcement. I even had this idea that Eddie and I could partner up together on cases sometimes.” His mouth twisted into a grimace. “That didn’t work out. Obviously.

“But I still really enjoyed studying science, and when I was in college, I did some tutoring for extra pizza money. You know those moments where you find just the right way to explain something to someone and it just clicks for them? You can actually see that moment that something goes from being a mystery to totally making sense?” She nodded. “The first time it happened to me…I don’t know. I guess something clicked for me, too. I realized I wanted to become a teacher so I could keep having those moments.”

Iris smiled at him. “That’s actually…that’s really great. I bet you’re an amazing teacher.”

“I know you are. I may have heard some of the students talking about you today. They really like your class. Though I never did figure out what you did with the toilet paper.”

She laughed. “All right, you caught me. I didn’t really need it. I was just trying to avoid you.”

Barry winced. “I made that bad of a first impression, huh?”

“I’ve had worse,” she responded lightly, nudging him with her elbow.

“Any chance I could convince you to give me a second chance? After all, we do work together. And we’re going to be family.”

Her chuckle died at the reminder of her lie, but she forced herself to smile. “I suppose so. Since we’re going to be seeing each other every day. Anyway, this is me.” She nodded towards the tall brick apartment building in front of them. “Thanks for walking me home. And for the chat.”

Barry reached out and placed his hand on the small of her back. She jumped at his touch, though it was muffled by the thick fabric. He didn’t seem to notice her reaction. “I’m here already. I might as well walk you to your door,” he offered gallantly. “Careful. The sidewalk looks pretty slippery.”

But Iris wasn’t the first to almost fall. It took only two steps before Barry’s foot hit a particularly slick spot, and his arms flailed as he tried to catch his balance. Without thinking, Iris wrapped her arm around him, helping steady him. “You okay?” she asked when he had finally straightened.

“Y-yeah,” he said breathlessly. “I think I’m okay now.”

Iris took one more step and her feet slid out from under her. With a small squeak of surprise and dismay, she began to go down. Barry tried to catch her, and somehow her arm found its way around his neck, dragging him down with her.

She landed in a giant snowbank, Barry on top of her. The look of surprise on his face was so comical that she couldn’t hold back her howl of laughter. “A-are you okay?” she finally managed through her giggles.

“Yeah. Are you?” She could feel his breath against her cheek and her laugh cut off abruptly when she realized how close he was to her. She shifted, and her breath melted a snowflake that had landed on the corner of his mouth. It wouldn’t take much – just a slight tilt of her head – and she could kiss him. She could brush her lips against that slight crease that formed in his cheek when he smiled.

“Y-yeah,” she breathed. His gaze dropped to her mouth, and she licked her lips nervously, wondering if he was thinking the same thing she was. No, of course he wasn’t. He thought she was engaged to his brother. “Um…do you think you can make it to your feet? My back is getting cold.” It really wasn’t. She didn’t feel anything but the warmth of his body covering hers. But it seemed like her back should be cold, and it was as good an excuse as any to put some distance between them.

Barry blushed and jerked way. “Oh, god, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think – yeah. Of course. Yeah. Hold on a second.” Moving very carefully, he rose to his feet and offered her a hand. “Let me help you up.”

Even through their gloves, Iris felt a spark between them – like a tiny jolt of electricity – when she placed her palm in his. He helped her to her feet, where the two of them stood inches from each other. “Thanks,” she murmured, unconsciously resting her hands against his chest.

“No problem,” he breathed. She shivered when she felt the soft vibration of his voice through her palms. She felt herself sway towards him, and for a second, she could swear he ducked his head for a kiss. Before their lips could meet, however, he took an abrupt step back. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Sucking in a sharp breath to clear her head, Iris nodded. She couldn’t believe she’d thought he was about to kiss her. Worse, she was pretty sure she’d have let him. Even if he didn’t think she was engaged to his brother, she was in love with Eddie. Wasn’t she? “Yes. Of course,” she responded firmly, as much to herself as to him.

Barry’s gaze slid away from hers as he nodded towards their destination. “Almost there.” He grabbed her hand and then turned to lead her to her door. Iris took advantage of his distraction, wanting to break the strange tension that had stretched between them. While his back was turned, she swooped down and grabbed a handful of snow, quickly forming a pathetic excuse for a snowball – the best she could do with one hand.

He had taken one step, and she pulled her hand out of his. Sinking her teeth into her lower lip, she bit back her giggle as she waited for him to turn towards her. The minute he did, she pelted him with her handful of mostly loose snow.

“Are you –” The snow splattered across his chest, and she let loose with a howl of laughter. “Oh, that’s what we’re doing now?” he challenged.

Iris threw him her most innocent look in return, but it changed into a shriek of dismay when he bent down to scoop up his own handful of snow. With a sheet of ice behind her, she made a giant leap into the nearby snowbank. She needed any traction she could get if she was going to get away.

A snowball hit her shoulder, a small chunk breaking off to freeze the back of her neck. With a shriek, Iris bent and scooped up her own snowball to throw it back at Barry. Their snowball fight began in earnest – though their projectiles were made with more enthusiasm than talent.

She had just straightened from picking up more snow when Barry grabbed her from behind. Wrapping his arms around her, he pinned her arms to her chest. “I don’t think so!” he cried into her ear.

Iris let out a bark of laughter, trying to squirm out of his embrace but he held her too tightly. She could almost feel his lips brush against her neck when he growled, “I’m not letting go until you agree to a truce.”

“It sounds like you don’t want to admit that you lost!” she crowed, turning to look at him. His mouth was only an inch from hers, and she froze.

The grin that lit up his entire face fell, and he stared deeply into her eyes. “I guess I am,” he admitted in a voice barely above a whisper. She was struck by his odd phrasing, but before she could ask what he meant, he murmured, “You – you have snow –” Relaxing his hold on her, he lifted one hand and cupped her face, his thumb tracing a line along her cheekbone.

She sucked in a deep breath. “I-I should go. Thanks…for the walk home.” Leaning up on her tiptoes, she brushed her lips across his cheek. “Goodnight.”

Iris could still feel the warmth of his breath against the back of her neck as she darting into the building and up the stairs to her front door. Once she was safely behind the protection of the solid wood panel, she leaned against her front door with a sigh. Then she giggled softly, warmed by the memory of his laugh when she’d pelted him with snow.

Before she could ponder her motives for doing so, she jogged to the window to watch Barry as he made his way back down the sidewalk to the street. A small smile on her face, she continued to watch him until he moved completely out of view. It was only then that she rested her forehead against the cold glass, which fogged up when she groaned, “Iris, you are in so much trouble.”                                                                    

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

DEH Carrie AU I've Been Invited to the Prom/ I Remember How Those Boys Could Dance

(Evan and Zoe stand behind the corner of the house waiting for Connor to come home)

E: I’m gonna look pretty stupid when he turns me down.

Z: He won’t! Trust me. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.

(Evan frowns and whimpers nervously. Zoe puts a hand on his shoulder)

Z: Hey. No matter what he says, thanks for doing this.

(Evan smiles sappily up at her. Zoe spots Connor coming up the sidewalk)

Z: Oh crap! There he is! Here he comes!

(With everybody yelling at him Evan is about to rush out there in a panic but Zoe catches his shoulder again and pulls him back)

Z: Wait!

(She gives him a quick peck on the cheek and Evans skin flushes)

Z: For luck.

(She smiles. He puts a hand to his cheek and if it was possible he gives her an even sappier lovesick puppy grin than he did before.)

Z: Now get out there!

(She gives him a shove before running off and he stumbles out in front of Connor)

E: C-Connor! I just- I w-was- I w-wanted t-to…hi!

(Evan awkwardly holds up his hand in a wave)

Con: …What are you doing here?

E: Wow uh straight to point! Uh pffff! H-here goes n-nothing. Connor I um I was I was wondering if uh-

(He fidgets the whole time, tugging at his shirt, playing with his hair, looking anywhere but at Connor.)

Con: Spit. It. Out.

(Connor leans closer with every word, not helping matters. Evan takes a shaky breath and summons every scrap of confidence in his body…It doesn’t stop him from stuttering like mad though)

E: …I-I-If you d-don’t already h-have a d-date…w-would you…m-maybe…wanna go to p-prom? With me?

(Connor’s eyes widen and his back straightens. He doesn’t reply. He just stands staring at the slightly trembling boy in front of him)

E: …Prom? I-It’s this Saturday? I-I was-

(Connor’s eyes narrow)

Con: I don’t like to be fucked with.

E: W-What?

Con: I know who you hang around with!

E: H-Hey! I don’t hang around with a-anyone I don’t want to! E-Except Jared b-but that’s- but it’s-!

(He stops himself realizing he’s not making this any better. He sighs at last and just says)

E: I-Its complicated.

(Something about how utterly defeated the boy looks makes Connor swallow the growing paranoia creeping up his throat like bile and have mercy on the kid.)

Con: Why are you doing this?

E: C-cause I w-want to.

(Connor, almost bemused replies)

Con: No you’re not!

(Evan pauses)

E: M-Maybe because you liked my poem. Maybe b-because I think we actually have a l-lot in c-common. Maybe because I t-think you deserve to hang out with someone nice for o-once.

(Before Connor can reply his mother voice rings out)

C: CONNOR! DINNER!

Con: Shit! You need to go!

(Evan takes another deep breath)

E: Not until you say yes!

Con: WHAT?!

(Evan plants his feet as firmly as he can upon the concrete, clenches his fists and puffs up his chest as if that’s going to make him in the least bit intimidating, his face betraying his pure terror)

E: Yup! We’re d-doin this! If you w-w-want me gone you’re g-gonna have to-

Con: I’d love to!

(Evan loses his stance almost instantly)

E: …Really?

Con: Yeah that sounds…nice actually.

E: …Okay! So uh…pick you up at eight?

Con: Sure.

C: CONNOR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?!

(Connor quickly grabs Evan and ushers him away)

Con: (whisper shouting) GO GO GO!

(Once Evan is long out of sight Connor allows a small but genuine smile to come to his face and he murmurs)

Con: …Thank you…

(to no one before turning and rushing inside.)

(Cynthia, Zoe and Connor all sit around the dinner table. Zoe leans disinterestedly back in her chair and Connor pushes his mothers latest disgusting vegan casserole around his plate with his fork, deep in thought.)

C (spoken): I don’t know what you’ve been dreaming about tonight Connor. But you’ve hardly touched your dinner. Now have some pie.

Con (spoken): It clogs my skin Mama

(He tries to push the dessert plate away but Cynthia pushes it back.)

C (spoken): Nonsense. As Peter says, the only beauty that matters is the precious light that comes from within.

Con: Mama don’t you think it’s time I should try to get along?

(Zoe’s ears perk up)

C (spoken): Whatever are you going on about Connor? Being different is the lord’s blessing

Con: Mama people think I’m strange All the kids have called me names

C (spoken): Well then just don’t listen to them. It is written “He who hears my voice alone shall be saved.”

Con: Mama can’t we stop and talk? There’s this boy named Evan Hansen

Margaret: Connor

Con: I’ve been invited to the prom.

(He can’t help but smile and Zoe is forced to hide hers behind her desert fork so she won’t give the game away. Inside she’s fist pumping. Her plan worked.)

C (spoken): Prom?

Con: I never thought that I would go When he first asked and I said no He asked me twice (His expression changes from surprise to a small smile.) He asked me twice And so I finally said alright I thought if you would help me that night I might look nice I might look nice

I know I’m not other kids I know I’m pretty weird But sometimes I dare to think I’m lovely Nobody feels the things that I do Mama please I’m just not like you Maybe I’ll find someone who loves me!

Con(spoken): Evan’s really a nice guy and I’ll be home by midnight. It’s Saturday! I’ve accepted Mama! I’ve accepted!

(Cynthia isn’t listening. She’s far away, lost on her thoughts.)

C: I remember how those boys could dance Pressing close on friday nights They could sweep me away

Con(spoken): Mama

C: Oh how those boys were demons of romance In their cars we chased the lights I know just how boys will behave!

(She stands now her eyes ablaze with the fury of a woman scorned)

(Connor stands too.)

Con(spoken): Not this boy Mama, he’s isn’t like the others! He’s nice, you’ll see, really you will! Everyone isn’t bad Mama! Not everything is a sin!

C: Oh how your father whispered in my ear First the kiss and then the touch! Mixing lies with the truth! He would sigh and try to draw me near Oh he’d swear he cared so much! That’s what the boys do

(She points at him, angry and accusing)

They’ll make promises! They will break your heart! Then they’ll laugh at you! Watching you fall apart!

(She grabs him by the wrist)

Don’t you think that I know?! Don’t you think this has happened before?! It’s the smell of the blood that will drive them mad! Chasing you like a whore!

Carrie(spoken): No!

(He jerks his wrist away)

C: Yes! Don’t you know their game?! Have you lost your mind?! Can’t you see Satan’s depassion has made you blind?! And this boy’s like the rest! And they’re all like the serpents who crawl! You can beg all you want to the lord! Oh how your father came to me that night!

(Zoe stands up to come to her brothers defense but she’s quickly drowned out)

Con: That doesn’t mean that the same thing will happen to me!

C: With the smell of smoke and gin

Con: Give him a chance and you’ll see!

C: With a lust in his eyes And he took me and touched me I tried to fight!

Con: Mama please listen you don’t hear a word that I’ve said!

C: Satan gave your father sin!

Con: Sometimes I wish you were dead!

C: And the sin never died!

Con(spoken): Mama please stop!

C(spoken): You’re not going!

Con(spoken): I already said that I would! I said yes!

C (spoken): Then say no! Tell him you changed your mind.

(She turns an starts to walk away as if thats that but Connor isn’t having any of it.)

Con(spoken): Mama come back.

C(spoken): The rain’s coming in. I have to close the windows.

Con(spoken): I’ll get them!

(He holds his hand out and all around the house windows start slamming shut. Cynthia shrieks and Zoe jumps, in her terror she stumbles and falls back into her seat, her eyes never leaving her brother.)

C(spoken): Witch!

(Connor slowly turns his head to look at his mother.)

Con: I am not afraid of you at all I have nothing left to lose I have power I can use Nothing you can say or do will ever stop me again!

(Connor calmly returns to his seat and finishes his pie as his sister and mother stare at him stricken with fear.)

@goponylover Moar!

[sindearlyconnormurphy]

Say You Won't Let Go [Connor Murphy x Male!Reader]

Title: Say You Won’t Let Go Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen Pairing: Connor Murphy x Male!Reader Requested: by like three people lmao Summary: Connor takes you home for thanksgiving–the hitch is that Connor is still sort of closeted. He’s not going to let that kind of them stop him from loving you. Warnings: Connor’s potty mouth | Mentions of homophobia | Mentions of neglect and abuse | First person reader | not proof read A/N: last upload before I leave on my trip! Yay! It’s crazy late here. This is a combo of a few request: three people requested a male reader, one person requested Connor sort of “adopting” a male reader who gets neglected and abused at home and taking care of them, and someone else requested Connor and a male reader go home for thanksgiving with lots of angst, and we all know I love angst. Hope this is good! Love you all and thanks for 800+ followers! (I’m going immediately to bed after this hoo)

“Connor?”

“Mm.”

“Connor,” I called again. He brushed his fingers across my knuckles again, dangling between us on the leather carseat. He was staring ahead, so it was concerning to see him so absent. While driving.

“What?”

“The light’s green,” I told him in a weak voice, watching his dark eyebrows furrowed blankly before fumbling, hands grasping for the wheel and slamming on the break. His dark hair was a curtain between us, eclipsing most of his face from my view.

“Sorry,” he mumbled heatedly under his breath, his hands tapping at the wheel anxiously. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

I folded my hands in my lap, careful to stay calm. Connor’s paranoia could be contagious sometimes, and his anxiety was filling the car with fumes I didn’t have the capacity to escape.

“I’m scared too, Connor,” I mumbled softly, watching his white knuckled grip clench and unclench on the steering wheel, licking his lips before glancing surprisingly out of the corner of his eyes at me.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, voice hoarse, chancing to take his hand of the steering wheel to reach for me. His painted nails raked harshly against the fabric of my jeans, up and down my thigh in an attempt to soothe me–and, in a way, it helped because it distracted him from his inner monologue. “I’m not scared. If they,” he paused, taking in a heavy sigh and letting his eyebrows drop low over his eyes. “If they say anything, we’ll get up and go. Get a hotel for the next few days and then go back to school, alright?”

“Going home is making you nervous,” I said neutrally. “This was a mistake.”

Connor’s hand wrapped vice like around my knee, shaking it a little too roughly. “This is not a mistake. I’m not letting you go home to your shitty parents, alright? Besides,” he grumbled. “This is a decent test for my parents, too. If they’re asswipes, we go immediately.”

“Okay.”

My stomach twisted nervously as the main streets and shops gave way to country field and subdivisions, little white picket fences with dogs and rosebushes  I hadn’t grown up in a neighborhood quite like this, and yet it amazed me–suburbia, for all its obvious perks, could still contain dark secrets.

Connor, subject A.

He hadn’t been home in awhile–he and I had spent the summer together working on campus, sharing a dorm. I knew he was civil with his folks and all, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t positively green as we pulled into a perfectly cemented driveway, three nice cars already parked in an open garage. Connor shifted the car into park, turning off the engine, but instead of exiting let his eyes close and leaned against the steering wheel for just a moment.

It was hard–I could see how hard it was. How uncomfortable he felt.

I wasn’t sure if I’d made it better or worse.

I wasn’t sure how he’d worded it to his mother on the phone when he’d asked if I could join the party for thanksgiving–I knew he’d told her I wasn’t in the best standing with my parents. I wasn’t sure if he’d asked if he could bring “a friend” over or “someone I’m seeing”.

He hadn’t said boyfriend. They didn’t know. He wasn’t out.

It was maybe four yards to the door–just a few steps, less than sixty seconds, and everything in Connor Murphy’s family dynamic would change.

Watching Connor swallow, forehead pressed into his hands where he was folded in on himself in the driver’s seat, was almost heartbreaking. I didn’t know if I made it worse or better. I didn’t even know how he felt.

I hadn’t been home since I graduated.

I reached out, scratching lovingly against Connor’s back through the fabric of his hoodie, feeling his shoulders relax beneath my hands.

“I guess this is me fucking up again,” he laughed mirthlessly. “Christ, they’re gonna have a field day.”

“You can take me somewhere else,” I offered, my voice thick at the suggestion, praying he wouldn’t really do that, but understanding if it was what he needed. “You don’t have to come out–”

Connor sprung off the steering wheel, spinning, eyes wide, pink lips partially parted, his bony hands twitching I’m his lap.

“You,” he choked, seeming to be at a loss for words. “I didn’t mean–you aren’t the mistake, sweetheart.” He reached forward, lithe fingers cradling across the back of my neck, his thumb tracing my jaw. “You–fuck, I love you.”

Connor’s slate eyes were searching, and I saw all the manic fear in them before they shut so that he could surge across the car, sealing his soft lips to mine.

It was almost comedic when he got like this–desperate, hungry, and nothing lustful about it. Connor was so uniquely physical and so poor with his words, this was the only way he knew to communicate that he loved me.

And I loved it. And I loved him.

There were a few knees to my ribs as he climbed across the median, fumbling to get into my lap, his little lithe body folding perfectly against mine, his hands still knotting into my hair.

“Connor–” I tried to protest with a laugh, surprised when he simply swallowed the words and continued.

“I love you,” he hissed again, wrapping both his arms around my neck, leaning back to glare determined at my collar bone. “I love you, please–”

“I love you,” I assured, pulling him back to press his face into his neck. “I love you, sweetheart, but you have to calm down. You aren’t gonna be able to articulate to your parents if you’re this panicked. I can’t do it for you.”

“Fuck,” he cried, voice thick, pressing my face closer to the juncture of his neck. His hair was down today, kissing my temple. “I lied. I’m fucking terrified.”

“It’s okay,” I promised, scratching at his lower back soothingly. “I’m right here.”

——

We didn’t bother to bring in our bags, not when there might be a chance that we might have to haul them back out in a quick fit, Connor swearing during it all.

He couldn’t stop fidgeting–it had been awhile since I’d seen him like this. Yes, the Connor I had met nearly a year ago had been stoic, pensive, and reclusive–but he’d also had an air of newly acquired calm and confidence that had been difficult to resist. He had smiles that seemed like they costed him, but only after he gave them, and he, more often than not, gave them without thinking twice.

Recovering, he told me, he was recovering. It was more than enough.

He kept scratching behind is ear, frizzing the fawn tone hair there so that the curls ticked upward just a little higher than the rest, his mouth twitching as he clenched and unclenched his jaw in a way that would make for robotic kissing later. The way his hands shook, I was surprised he didn’t stick them in his pockets–he wiped them on his jeans enthusiastically, stepping into the foyer as his mother answered the door.

The Murphy’s looked as perfect as the photos on Facebook had portrayed–I knew it was for my benefit. Cynthia Murphy was loud, and it was done in a way that her own face cringed with the overdone politeness of it all. She grinned at me so that the apples of her cheeks looked high crested like Connor’s when he smiled without thinking, his eyes crinkling at the corners, making his hollowed cheeks dimple. Her eyes were vaguely panicked, and I looked away, giving her the time to process what was clearly a misread signal from Connor.

Larry Murphy shook my hand, much too roughly, making it obvious where Connor had acquired it, and smiled like I was the campaign aid to his greasy politician. It made me nervous, unsettled, and I watched Larry Murphy stuff his large hands into the pockets of his slacks.

Zoe Murphy was lazing artistically against the leather couch in the living room, only slightly visible from the foyer. At her parent’s call, she didn’t move, but offered us a wave without looking up from the television. So Connor hadn’t been lying about their strained relationship.

“It’s so good to meet you! Connor got us all excited over the phone,” Cynthia crooned, patting her husband on the shoulder, her eyes still panicked behind her painfully wide smile. Her lips cracked in the same way Connor’s did.  “Worried for nothing, I see. It’s always good to meet Connor’s friends.”

I smiled, my face pained.

He could lie. Right now. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, and I knew he was thinking about it. Smile, pretend, I really got you guys this time! Slap me on the back, call me bro, smile and nod when his father asked about the cute girls on campus. He could cut me down right here, and he knew it.

Connor was smiling politely, his hands still twitching at his sides. He was painfully close to me, too close for them not to notice, our shoulders brushing. They were taking it in with darting eyes and slim pupils, eyes cutting between us, begging for an explanation.

“What do you mean?” Connor asked in a strained voice, obviously attempting to be civil. The smile on his face, while trying, was a fraud.

Cynthia had begun to wring her hands, licking her lips as if attempting to come up with something in a way that wouldn’t offend me. She laughed too loudly.

“You just, you said over the phone you were bringing home someone you wanted us to meet,” she smiled apologetically in my direction. Behind the two of them, Zoe Murphy had rolled into a sitting position, her auburn eyebrow arched, her lipglossed mouth in a froze oh.

“Yeah,” Connor said slowly, eyes glancing from me back to them in a can you believe this? sort of way, clearly more for their benefit than mine. He wanted them to say it for him, but the wouldn’t. They weren’t the kind of people who were going to wish for this or be thrilled Connor was finally himself.

He was trying to come out, and they were pressed so tightly against the closet door, Connor was going to need a fucking cannon to get himself out.

Larry made a noise in the back of his throat, impatient, disguising it with an exasperated laugh. I watched Connor tense, his shoulders locking and his mouth falling open. Scared.

“She just means,” Larry laughed awkwardly, making an aggressive eye contact with me in an attempt to demean Connor, “We thought Connor meant a girl. We thought he might be getting serious with someone.”

Boom.

To his credit, Connor didn’t explode. He didn’t scream. He did it slowly, softly, without words, the same way the Connor I knew everything about and the Murphy’s had never met did everything.

He just smiled–not forced, but serene and genuine, and glanced down to where his pale hand, freckled across the knuckles was bumping against mine, and laced out hands together.  I wasn’t looking at the Murphy’s, but I could hear their sharp intake of breath over the rapid pounding of my heart.

Connor was smiling at me, the apples of his cheeks eclipsing his eyes that were watering with the uncertainty of the moment.

And I was so proud.

He chose me.

He chose himself.

“I am,” Connor said, his voice certain from where he smiled at me in awe and adoration. “Serious about someone. This is my boyfriend.”

—-

“It could’ve gone worse.”

Connor, laying facedown on his twin bed could’ve been slightly endearing, slightly adorable, if it hadn’t been for the face he was screaming into his pillow.

“It could’ve gone a lot fucking better!” He screamed, leaning up to scratch at his face with his black chipped nails–a bad habit that had me lunging forward to take his wrists, replacing his hands onto my hips and sitting beside him, letting him fall face first into my chest with a humph.

“They didn’t make us leave,” I reminded softly, combing a hand through his soft hair and kissing his temple. Connor just groaned against my chest.

“My dad passed out,” Connor hissed against my chest. “Fucking went unconscious. Because I’m gay.”

“Again, not the worst reaction.”

“Oh my God, dude, please let me be negative!” Connor grunted, pulling back, stuffing his hands into his hair, causing me to reach up again to remove them.

“Stop that,” I mumbled. “Keep those on me.”

He frowned, but still reached forward tenderly to cup the back of my neck, eyes searching for something in my face. Leaning forward till he blurred, close enough to kiss, he pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth, tilting his forehead to rest against mine with closed eyes.

“I worship you,” he whispered, sending a violent chill down my spine, my own hands reaching up to tangled in the fabric of his hoodie. “I’d do that again and again to be with you.”

“Con,” I whispered, pouting my lips to beg for a kiss, sighing happily when he obliged me, nudging me backwards gingerly against his mattress which was struggling to hold two grown men.

He was tender, loving as he pressed chaste kisses again and again to my lips, before sighing and laying his head against my chest, reaching up to run his thumb absently across my jaw.

“Your sister seemed supportive.”

“What part of ‘Holy shit, no way!’ seemed supportive to you?”

“She was smiling?”

“Babe–”

“I’m sorry,” I conceded, reaching up to again card my fingers through his hair. “It’s just…they didn’t throw you out, Con. They didn’t call us names. They didn’t burn your things. That’s a luxury I didn’t have when I came out to my folks.”

He sighed, pressing his nose against my chest again, kissing over the fabric of my shirt with a pained expression. “I know, baby, and I’m so sorry. Just–I’m taking care of you from now on, alright? You don’t have to worry about that stupid shit anymore.”

“I know sweetheart,” I sighed, leaning down to kiss him again, knotting my hands into his long hair and going deeper, feeling Connor’s long legs give way to straddle me, his own hands framing my face to keep me firmly in place.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered against my lips, before diving back in with fervor, licking up into my mouth, pulling a small laugh from the both of us.

“Con–” I warned.

“I know,” he groaned, pressing his face into the side of my neck and stretching my shirt collar to reveal a stripe of skin, beginning to suck a vicious hickey there, earning a surprised yelp from me.

“Connor, you can’t–”

“Knock, knock!”

We sprang apart, both of us scrubbing at our faces, attempting to control our breathing. Connor stared wordlessly at the still closed door for a long time, before his mother called his name again and it dawned on him that she was asking permission to enter his room.

“Come in.”

Cynthia smiled apologetically upon entering, balancing a tray in her hands and sitting it on Connor’s desk, still covered in papers, before seating herself in the desk chair. Connor shifted, obviously uncomfortable.

“We haven’t touched your room,” she said softly, smiling a bit differently than she had downstairs. “Left it just the way you liked it.”

“Thanks,” he said softly, picking at the duvet with his fingernails, before thinking better of it and reaching out to take my hand again. Solidarity.

Cynthia Murphy smiled.

“I brought you cookies–Connor doesn’t like pie, I’m not sure if he told you,” she said to me with a grin, extending a plate I took warily, thanking her warmly as I could. “I know a lot of people eat pie on Thanksgiving, but I’m honestly not even very good at making it–”

“Mom,” Connor called desperately, looking at her with wild eyes. Scared.

“Your dad is just fine,” she promised, still smiling at him like he was the most important thing in the world. Connor’s expression told me he’d never seen it before. “And he’s gonna come around. He just needs a minute, is all.”

Connor nodded, admitting it was reasonable, even if he didn’t like it. “You?”

She smiled, and for the first time I noticed her eyes were wet. “You’ve found somebody, sweetheart. That’s the most important thing. Look how much you’ve grown–I’m so proud of you, Connor.”

I let them hug. I let them cry. I let Cynthia hug me, thank me, take my face in her hands and promise me that I had a home here as long as I loved her son.

It was a lot. It was so much.

And when it was over, it was Connor and I wrapped around each other in his twin bed, our faces desperately close and whispering softly to each other.

“I think my mom wants me to propose.”

“You sure your dad’s heart can take it?”

“Haha, Prince Charming, you’re hilarious.”

A beat of silence, so long that I thought he’d fallen asleep, before I felt his lips linger at my temple. “Thanks for loving me.”

I tightened my grip on his sides, kissing his collar bone lightly. “Always, sweetheart.”

[artificialqueens]

But I’m A Cheerleader! - Chapter 25 (Aja x Farrah) - Millie

A/N: hey guys, I don’t want to be depressing, but I’m gonna be depressing. I absolutely love this fic with all my heart, and I love seeing everyone’s happy reactions, but lately it’s been getting hard to write so that’s why updates have been a bit all over the place. I feel like I need to take a step back and relax a little so there won’t be updates every week, probably just every 2 maybe 3 weeks; I’d rather give you guys a good quality chapter that took a while than the ones I’ve been doing lately that feel like I’m just churning it out like a robot. Another factor of that is that school has me stressed, and I’m going through some personal stuff. I hope you can all understand and I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

Farrah stormed into the changing rooms where everyone else was, stomping into the Bombers’ side to see everyone huddled together discussing what had just happened. Her presence stopped the conversation, and once she’d spotted Valentina, Farrah didn’t hesitate in cornering her.

“You did this!” Farrah snarled, pointing an accusing finger at her face once she was backed against the wall. It was hard to be intimidating when you were 5'3", crying, and in a cheerleading uniform, so Farrah had to resort to volume. “You sent that video to everyone in the goddamn school. And you made up that rumour, too!” It dawned on her that she’d have to apologise to Aja for blaming that on her, but her intense rage pushed that to the back of her mind.

Valentina had fear in her eyes, but that didn’t stop her from biting back. “So what if I did?” she snapped. “Aja is a Glamazon, and-” At this point, the Glamazons had walked into their side of the changing room to see what the commotion was. They always loved a fight, especially one they could get behind.

“Oh, don’t start,” Trinity said from the right adjacent wall. “No one cares! We’re friends with the Glamazons now, and whatever you were about to call Aja, you’re probably that yourself.”

Valentina’s eyes widened at her. “Excuse-”

“You were supposed to be my friend,” Farrah added. “You were supposed to support me.”

“I didn’t have to. I didn’t have to like Aja. And neither did you, you little traitor.”

Farrah could feel the steam rising out of her ears. “Maybe I am a traitor,” she growled. “But at least I’m not a bitchy. Little. Freshman.” She jabbed her in the chest with her pointer finger between each word.

“Oh, whatever,” Val said. “Yes, I filmed that video; yes, I made up that rumour. Who cares?”

“Err, a lot of people,” Farrah replied, “including me and Aja. And I’ve gone and accused her of backstabbing our team, which could’ve completely ruined everything between us.” Valentina bit her lip and smirked. “But that’s exactly what you wanted.”

Farrah scowled at her and shoved her into the wall before storming out of the changing rooms, walking straight past Miss Visage and Cynthia who were headed back to the hall. She walked out of the front doors of the school, the sky just as light as before but the air chillier; these were the moments where she resented her skimpy cheerleader uniform. She sat down on one of the benches and put her head in her hands, scrunching up fistfuls of hair.

She sat like that for a while, quickly beginning to shiver, but she was too stubborn to go back inside. In this moment, Farrah just wanted to be alone, and for someone so needy, that was a bad thing. She couldn’t stay in the changing rooms with that horrid freshman and everyone else staring at her - it would be far too awkward, and it was probably a lucky escape after she’d pushed Val. But then again, she didn’t want to go back to Aja, either. In fact, she didn’t really know where they stood right now. The guilt of that accusation was eating her up, and it was clear that Aja was furious about it. Farrah was worried about her, too - who knew what the extent of her injuries could be? Knowing Valentina, she was probably the one responsible for throwing her that hard.

About ten minutes later, an ambulance pulled up on the school grounds, and several paramedics hopped out with medical kits. One of them approached Farrah, probably noticing her distress.

“Excuse me, did you witness the accident?” he asked, bending down slightly so he was at her level.

Farrah looked up and nodded. “I can show you to it,” she said, pushing herself up off the bench and walking back towards the front doors of her school. The paramedics picked up the pace and started to jog, probably not knowing how good or bad the situation was, so Farrah joined them.

Upon entering the hall again, Farrah saw Aja in the same position as before, and she couldn’t stop a couple of tears from slipping out. She knew to keep her distance while Aja was being assessed, so she didn’t go too close to her. And she didn’t want to overstep a line, considering how things were. Sure, she’d let her stroke her hair and hug her, but she was probably in intense pain as the paramedics were trying to prop her up - it hurt Farrah just to look at it.

It was more painful to just sit and watch all of this happen. None of the cheerleaders had any notable medical knowledge to ease the tension, so Farrah was just stuck trying to read expressions that had been trained over the years to be, well, unreadable. At least fifteen minutes passed slowly and quietly with only the voices of the paramedics to fill the silence, each one more uncomfortable than the previous.

“It looks like there’s bruising on the coccyx and shoulder blades, and a little on the spine,” one of them concluded. “And it’s starting to swell. You’re lucky you didn’t hit your head.”

“Will I be able to do cheerleading, still?” Aja asked.

“You need to have some bedrest, miss. The damage isn’t serious, but physical exercise could lead to it getting worse.”

Aja put her head in her hands. If she were alone, or only with Farrah, she’d be uncontrollably crying right now.

-

Alexis supported Aja as they walked out of the school towards the ambulance. The paramedics had offered her a ride back home, but Aja wasn’t stupid, and knew the costs of just a single trip. All they had to do was make sure she could walk (hence what they were doing now) and then her mom would pick her up. Farrah trailed behind them, following them until they reached the bench she was sitting on earlier.

“Aja, can I talk to you for a second?” Farrah asked.

Aja looked over at Alexis, who just raised her eyebrow at Farrah.

“Alone.”

“Sure,” Aja said.

Alexis got up, giving the blonde a look that said you better not fuck around and walked away to leave them in peace.

Farrah sat down in her place; Aja looked straight ahead, her jaw clenched.

“I’m sorry,” Farrah said. “Valentina admitted that she started the rumour; I don’t know why I didn’t believe you in the first place.”

Aja clenched her fists. “I’m still angry,” she said. “I thought you trusted me.”

“I do, I swear. I just… I didn’t know whether or not you’d just turn on me and the team like that.”

She whipped her head around to face her, even though that hurt her neck. “I’d never betray you like that, Farrah!” she exclaimed. “They’re my friends now, and I’m your girlfriend, for fuck’s sake!”

“I’m sorry! God, I know it was stupid.”

Aja huffed and crossed her arms. “Yeah, it was.” She faced forward again. “But thanks for apologising, I guess.”

Farrah was silent. This was what she got for apologising? Of course she understood Aja’s anger, but it hurt her. She’d never cared about anyone more than she cared about the girl sitting next to her on that bench. A tear fell and dripped down her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly.

That made Aja’s heart ache - it did every time.

“As much as I want to stay annoyed at you, I can’t,” she gave in.

Farrah looked up with hopeful eyes. “You forgive me?” she asked.

Aja shrugged. “Sure, whatever,” she said. “Look, it made me angry, but I’ll get over it.” She pulled Farrah into a hug, and she desperately held her close.

[literati42]

Batfam Week day 6: Paparazzi

Title: Warning Signs

Rating: PG 13 (a smidge of language and some discussion of suicide)

Genre: Angst, family, emotional h/c, a bit of humor

Characters: Tim Drake-centric, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth

Description: Batfam week day 6: Paparazzi. The reporter for a gossip column uncovers something a bit closer to the truth than anyone could guess, leading the Batfamily to realize they should be worried about one of their own.

Note: The week is winding down, but I am still taking requests. Hit me with them.

Note 2: Read the end notes for more information about suicidal behavior and resources.

            It started with a question. Tim should have known better, he realized, but the truth was he was so exhausted. Bruce gave a speech for the Gotham historic society, and Tim stood behind him on the stage. He applauded with everyone. Honestly, it was a great speech, good enough that Tim could focus on it even though a part of his brain was actively trying to make him fall asleep standing up. He felt a wave of gratitude when everything wrapped up, and the applause died until he saw reporters begin to ask questions. He groaned, “They're doing a Q and A.”

           “You could sneak out, I’m certain no one would miss you,” Damian said beside him. Tim looked down and frowned. He recognized it for the kindness it was, even wrapped in Damian’s usual surly packaging. Tim nodded and slipped back behind the curtain. He was certain he made a clean get away, and let out a breath. He started toward the coffee shop on the corner. Tension built in his shoulder, and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise.

           Someone was following him.

           Tim sped up slightly and slipped down an ally. He pressed his back against the brick wall and cautiously watched the passersby. There. He grabbed his pursuer by the arm and slammed the person back against the wall. It was a woman, with severe features and hair pulled into a ponytail. She raised a voice recorder. “Cynthia Lewis, Glimpses of Gotham.” Tim released her arm and stepped back, just a reporter. No, not even a reporter, a writer for that awful gossip rag.

           “I’m not taking interviews today,” Tim said, stepping out onto the street.

           “Your father sure does take self-defense training seriously huh?” she said, following. He heard her struggling to keep up with his quickened pace in her pumps. “What else does living with Bruce Wayne intel?”

           “No comment,” Tim replied, stopping at the crosswalk as cars whipped by. Cynthia caught up then, looking at him.

           “You seemed pretty angry back there. Do you get that angry often?”

           He looked over at her. That question was not the usual ‘who is your father dating’ dribble he was used to. Does he get angry? He shook his head and looked back at the traffic light.

           “Is that a no?”

           “It’s a no comment.” The white walk sign lit up, and he started walking. For a moment she was not there, and then she caught up. He looked down to see she was now carrying her heels to keep up with him.

           “You retreat from social gatherings a lot don’t you?”

           He fell silent. She would eventually get tired of talking, he assured himself. But that was the moment she asked the question that started everything. “Where did you get the scar on your wrist?” Tim’s steps faltered for a second.

           “No comment,” he finally said, he darted across the street, between cars, giving her no chance to follow.

_-_-_

           Tim woke up the next day and headed toward the kitchen. He paused on the stairs and turned around. Damian’s door shut quickly. Weird, he thought. He shrugged and went on down. The smell of pancakes filled him as he opened the kitchen door and he stopped in his tracks. Alfred was cooking, Jason was helping, and Dick was sitting on the counter.

           “What…is everyone doing here?” he paused when Bruce walked in. “Did a mission come up?”

           “Can’t your brothers just come home?” Jason asked, licking batter off the spoon. “You hungry? You love pancakes right?”

           “I do,” Tim said slowly, wondering if he woke up in the twilight zone. “I…just want coffee.”

           “Not hungry? But coffee huh? You’re hitting coffee awfully hard lately. Sleeping okay?” Dick asked. Tim grabbed a mug and started to pour it, but Dick took it and filled it for him. He handed it back, and Tim took a long gulp. He definitely was not caffeinated enough for whatever weirdness was happening.

           “My sleep is…normal,” he said, ignoring the fact that not sleeping was his normal. He sensed someone behind him and spun around, sloshing coffee. Damian stood there, hand on his hip.

           “You’re so scrawny, Drake. You’re going to need a new costume.”

           “What…the hell is happening?”

           “Why, did I make you angry?” Damian asked.

           “Do you get angry, often?” Dick added. “Like…easily?”

           “Or have mood swings?” Jason said.

           Tim sat down his mug. Bruce was watching, and even Alfred had stopped cooking.

           “Someone is going to start explaining to be what is happening before I am forced to test you for Joker toxins.” Tim watched his family exchanging looks.

           “So you probably don’t read Glimpses of Gotham,” Jason started.

           “You read that? Why doesn’t this surprise me more?” Tim asked. Dick picked a copy of it off the counter and offered it over. Tim found himself staring at his face, on the cover. His eyes widened. The tagline read: “Tim Drake Suicide Scare? Find out why the son of Billionaire Bruce Wayne is dying to get away.” Tim flipped frantically until he came to the story. His eyes scanned the pages in record pace.

           “All the warning signs are present…” he read out loud. The reporter referenced his quickness to get angry. His social withdraw—which the reporter indicated by him having no friends. The reporter referenced his recent loss of weight, how he was practically skin and bones. She mentioned the bags under his eyes as evidence of insomnia. As he read the signs she indicated that there was no evidence of having, he suddenly began to put together his family’s concern. The reporter could not know of his recklessness, the hopelessness, the anxiety…Tim shook his head. The biggest part of the story was clear. The scar on his risk as proof.

           Tim lifted it, “You know this is from a case right?”

           “Yeah,” Dick said, “But, consider the other things…Tim, we’re just worried about you.”

           “This is an intervention.”

           “Tim…”

           “No, this is an actual intervention. You have to be kidding. Haha, hilarious everyone,” Tim said.

           “Timber, we just want…”

           Tim held up his hand to stop whatever his brother was about to say, “This is ridiculous.”

           “You don’t sleep,” Dick said, “You aren’t eating well. You don’t have friends. Tim…we’re worried.”

           “Well when you describe it, Dick, my life sounds horrible. Thanks.”

           “Tim,” Bruce’s voice cut through their arguing. “This is something that needs to be addressed. We are not saying that this story is true, but if these problems exist, they need to be handled. If you are not at your best, and you continue to patrol you put yourself and this team at risk.”

           “Right, well I would hate to get in the way of a mission,” Tim snapped. He left the room, letting the kitchen door slam behind him.

           “Smooth,” Jason said, his voice loud in the suddenly silent room.

_-_-_

           Tim went back to his room and sunk onto the bed.

           “You wouldn’t use a gun, right?”

           Tim jumped, “Damian, get out.” The kid instead walked further in.

           “You wouldn’t though, not with how Father is about guns. You respect him too much.”

           “Damian…do you find this funny?” Tim looked at him, “Because it’s not funny.”

           “I am curious what substances I need to remove from your room,” Damian said. Tim paused and looked at him. Damian’s tone remained flat, but there was actual fear in his eyes.

           “It’s just a story, just some paparazzi garbage. Dami, it’s fiction.”

           “But you do all of those things, do you deny it?” His eyes flashed. “Can you swear to me that you would never, have never considered it. Swear it on our family’s honor.” For the second time, Damian’s words gave him pause. The kid said our family, including Tim with a single word.

           “Look…it’s not where my head is right now, Dami,” he said. He ran a hand through his hair, “Things get dark in my head sometimes. I’m not denying that. Things have been piling up, and I guess, I’ve let things like sleep and eating slip. But I need you to hear me. That is not where my head is right now. It isn’t.”

           Tim could see the words churning in his little brother’s mind. “So, we can agree I am vastly superior to you in many ways,” Damian said suddenly. Tim raised an eyebrow.

           “This took a turn.”

           “I’m a better fighter, I have significantly more skills,” Damian met his eyes, “So you should turn to me as back up. When you’re head gets dark.” Tim met his kid brother’s eyes, and he gave one nod, his voice failing him. Damian got up and ran out of the room, but the door did not shut before a hand caught it. Tim glanced up as Bruce walked in.

“We don’t need to talk about this.”     “We do,” Bruce said, he walked over. “You misunderstood me.”

“I’m certain that was my fault too,n right?”

Bruce sighed in frustration, “Tim.” He stopped and started over, “Tim, I don’t want you in the field compromised because I care what happens to you.” He crouched down to look into the teen’s eyes. “If you’re hurting, that’s something I need to know. Not Batman, me. Bruce. Your…your father.” Tim found rebellious tears escaping and he turned, trying to hide them. He felt Bruce take his shoulders, and draw him in, resting a hand on his head. “I have you. We’ll figure it out, Tim. We’ll figure all of this out.” Tim opened his eyes and through his tears, he saw Jason, Dick, and Alfred standing in his doorway.

           They would figure this out. Together.

PSA: For more information on suicidal behavior and warning signs click here

 Also to get support, read stories of real people, and find ways you can help check out To Write Love on Her Arms

 If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidality, get yourself or them help. There is no substitution for seeking mental health counseling. It works, it saves lives. There is no shame in that. Also please call the national hotline

Seek help, notice the signs, and support exists.

[iwritewordz]

Magic 8 ball (tree bros)

It was a blazing hot day and everything felt hazy. The sun burned bright and no breeze blew into Evan's despite all the windows being open. Ahhh, summer. Evan's favorite time of year. No school, and Connor, his boyfriend, would visit his house everyday. "Fuck this man. I can buy you an air conditioner." Connor said leaning against Evan's bed frame as they sat on the floor. His brown, messy hair, that usually went down to his shoulders, was tied up in a tight bun with smalls wisps sticking out here and there. Connor was fanning himself with his notebook and despite complaining about the temperature, Connor still wore a hoodie and all black clothes. "Like I always say, no. If you're so hot lets go to your place." Evan suggested. Connor shook his head, "absolutely not." "Well take off your hoodie then. I'll lend you some shorts too," Evan said. Connor shook his head again. "I look good in black and I'm willing to suffer." "Doesn't sound like it." "Shut up Hansen," Connor laughed, "we need something to distract ourselves from the heat." "I have some books on trees-" Evan started, Connor cut him off. "I swear you would marry a tree if you could." Connor laughed again. Evan smiled and shook his head. "We could always do our summer homework-" "Nooooo," Connor whined, he lay down on the floor. "Let's go to seven eleven. They have AC and slushies there. We get something to do and we get cool in the process." "Can't. mom won't let me borrow the car anymore after Jared crashed it." Evan told him as he brought his knees to his chest, smiling as if he was found of the memory. "Ughh, Jared. I don't understand why you hang out with him." Connor groaned. "Shut up, You two are like best friends." Evan said. Connor smirked as he layed his head onto Evan's lap. Evan began to play with his hair. "How about we walk then?" He asked. "Do you really want to walk five miles in this weather?" Evan replied. "...no..." Connor said. Evan smirked, looking around his room for something to do. His eyes stopped on something under his bed. He scrambled up from his sitting position, causing Connor to hit his head on the floor, apologized, and ran to get it. "What? What is it?" Connor asked as he sat up. Evan walked back with something in his hands Connor recognized to be a magic 8-ball. "You made me hit my head for that?" Evan ignored that remark. "I used to love this when I was little! I thought I lost it but it was under my bed all these years! Who would've thought!" He laughed. Connor could tell how ecstatic the boy was from how his eyes lit up and he laughed as he sat at down again. Evan handed the ball the Connor. "Really, Evan?" Connor smirked. Evan nodded happily and waited for Connor to ask a question. "Fine. Will Evan Hansen ever buy an air conditioner?" He shook the ball. "Don't count on it." Connor read. He whipped around to stare at Evan through squinted eyes who just laughed and took the 8-Ball back. "Umm, will Connor ever stop complaining about the heat when he literally only wears black?" He shook the ball. 'Signs point to yes' it read. Connor scoffed and made an offended face. Evan laughed. "This thing hates me." Connor said angrily as he took the ball back. "Will this heat wave end soon?" He shook it. 'Very doubtful'. "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE." "Shhh, Connor." Evan said, he was howling from laughter, "my mom is sleeping." He took the ball back, "what should I ask?" Connor shrugged and closed his eyes as he meant against the headboard again. Evan stayed quiet for a moment until he thought Connor had fallen asleep. "Will Connor and I stay together forever?" The question caught Connor's attention and he peeked an eye open slightly. Evan cringed at how obsessive the question seemed. Connor read what that 8-ball had said. 'Without a doubt'. He could see Evan smile slightly at the answer before setting the ball down and turning to rest his head on Connor's lap this time. Connor shut his eyes tight. --- Connor was the first to wake up. He looked around the room to see the magic 8-Ball discarded into a corner of the room and Evan smiling happily as he slept. It wasn't as hot now considering the sun was starting to set. Connor cursed. He stood up, gently setting his boyfriend's head onto the floor. He scribbled a letter onto a post-it note explaining that he had to leave and would be back later with the car if Evan still wanted to go to 7-11. Connor planted and kiss onto Evan's cheek and bustled out the door, saying goodbye Heidi as he ran out. --- Evan woke up a few moment later to the hard floor when he had expected Connor to be there. He pouted and sat up. The post it note Connor had left was stuck on the ground next to Evan, he picked it up. Sorry, I had to run. Told mom I would be back by 6:00 and it was 7:00. I should be back in a few with the car so we can head to sev ellev. See you later, love you :) <3 Evan smiled and set the note down. He decided to go and sit outside to wait for Connor. --- Twenty minutes had passed and Evan noticed Connor's car rounding the street corner. He jumped up and began to run so he could meet his boyfriend half way. Connor noticed this and sped up the car as if he were challenging Evan. Evan noticed as well and increased his pace. "What took you so long?" Evan panted as he approached Connor. "I had some errands to run." Connor answered, he looked away as he said this, which Evan found a little weird. "C'mon, hop in. To 7-11 we go!" --- They spent the next hour and a half driving too and from seven eleven. They went back to Connor's place instead of Evan's, since Connor was sick of the constant heat. Even if it was dark out. They watched movies into the night before Evan decided it was getting late and stood up to leave. Connor stood up too. Connor was sweating even with his Air Conditioner on full blast and he was fidgeting. Despite all the times Evan had asked if the boy was all right, Connor just shrugged it off and told Evan not to worry. "Good night, I love you,"Evan said, he kissed Connor and backed away to leave. Connor grabbed his hand. "Evan wait." Connor told him. Evan stopped and looked back at the brunette. "Yes?" Evan raised an eyebrow. Connor let out and breath and squeezed Evan's hand tighter. "Well it's just that earlier I heard what you had asked the 8-ball when you thought I was asleep." Evans face turned red. "I- I'm sorry if that was weird-" "I'm not done," he smiled at Evan. "And I thought 'I do want to spend the rest of my life with you so-" he got down on one knee and brought a box out of his hoodie pocket, "will you be my player 2?" Evan's eyes blurred and his face got redder. He started to sob. Full on, ugly, wake up the whole house, sob. "Yes!" He laughed. Connor stood up and hugged Evan, the kissed him. "What's going on down here?" The lights were flicked on and Cynthia stood there. She wore a robe over her pajamas and it was clear she didn't want to wake up. "We're engaged." Connor told her. Her eyes immediately lit up as she called for her husband and Zoe to come downstairs.

[swearronchanel]

Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂  here goes nothing.. 

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN ***        1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?                                                 

 2) just please, because I’m asking nicely                                                     3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?               

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something!                                             5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it  

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt  

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before? 

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age”  IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones”  I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that  they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will  be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them?  Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭