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mononijikayu · 2 months

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the moon during the day — ryomen sukuna.

"You found a way." you whispered, your voice barely audible against the backdrop of chaos. “This was your doing, wasn’t it?”

He regarded you with a gaze that held centuries of unspoken words. "I promised, didn't I?" His voice, resonant and familiar, cut through the clamor around you. “One way or another. We are bound to each other.”

GENRE: Heian Era to Shibuya Arc, 2018;

WARNING/s: Alternate Universe ─ Canon Divergence, Romance, Emotional Hurt, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Heavy Pining, Domesticity, Friends to Lovers, Character Death, Grief, Miscarriage, Mention of Depression, Mention of Mourning, Depiction of Physical Touch, Depiction of Mental Anguish, Depiction of Violence, Depiction of Harm, Depiction of Blood and Wounds, Depiction of Miscarriage, Depiction of Death, Depiction of Harm, Pseudo-Incest, Adoptive Cousins, Portrayal of Misogynist And Degrading Acts and Language, Smut, Detailed Depiction of Sex, Depiction of Sexual Foreplay, Sexual Penetration, Consensual Sex;

masterlist

ashes of love

song: the moon during the day by ahn ye eun

ko-fi

note: i was supposed to write this a while ago, but i was busy writing my web novel on tapas!!! if you have the time, please come by and enjoy it!!! malefica arcana updates bi-weekly~ anyway, i want to thank you for all your love and support for ashes of love. i enjoyed writing it and i feel like i can scrap up extra stories in the future, but for now - i hope you enjoy the ride. i'll see you in the next update for us and them!!! <3

8:40 PM

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DAY OFF. But it cannot be helped. If there was a summon where they were needed by other sorcerers, then they must be there. It was a duty they must not shy away from. Mikoto Akihiko stood at the forefront of the Mikoto team, flanked by Mikoto Nobuhiko and Mikoto Aina. The sleeves of his kimono were already brushing against the wind. And yet, it was not as strong. It was odd. But he supposed that the curtains their foes had set up were too powerful. Expert, even. More expert than what the Mikoto would have done.

The bustling streets of Shibuya, now eerily quiet, were shrouded in an unsettling atmosphere. Dark clouds loomed overhead, casting long shadows across the empty storefronts and neon signs that flickered sporadically. Mikoto Akihiko couldn't shake the ominous feeling gnawing at his gut. He glanced around, his eyes scanning the deserted area for any signs of movement.

"Why Shibuya?" Akihiko muttered under his breath, his grip tightening on one of his sword hilts. "What do these curses want here?”

Mikoto Nobuhiko, standing beside him with a stern expression, broke the silence. "Is Genmei–neesama already in the area?"

Akihiko nodded. "She came with Gojo Satoru. I received a message. They’re trying to neutralize threats as much as possible.”

Mikoto Aina, her usually calm demeanor tinged with unease, tried to reassure the team. "We should be fine then. As long as Gojo Satoru is around, everything will be dealt with. Our Genmei will be fine. How could she not be? No one will be capable of fighting against both of them.”

Akihiko turned to Aina, his brow furrowing with concern. "Let's hope so, Aina–sama. But we need to stay vigilant. Just because Gojo—sama and Genmei—sama are here doesn't mean we can let our guard down."

Nobuhiko's phone buzzed, a sharp interruption to the tense silence that had settled between them. His eyes flicked to the screen, the glow casting a serious shadow across his features. The message held weight, its contents pulling his brows together in concern. He read it again, absorbing the implications with a growing sense of urgency.

The room around them seemed to hold its breath, the air thick with unspoken tension. His companion watched him intently, waiting for him to share the news, sensing the gravity of the message from the subtle shift in Nobuhiko's demeanor. The silence stretched, broken only by the faint hum of the city outside and the muted glow of the phone screen reflecting in his eyes.

Finally, Nobuhiko looked up, his expression a mix of determination and apprehension. "We need to go there." he said, his voice steady despite the underlying urgency. "Now."

Aina’s face scrunches. “What’s wrong?”

"The assistants have messaged me, Aina–sama." Nobuhiko announced, his voice steady despite the rising tension. "There are sightings of curses all around the routes leading to Shibuya, especially near the Meiji–Jingumae station."

Aina's brow furrowed deeper, worrying etching lines into her features. Her eyes darted between Akihiko and the dimly lit surroundings, where long shadows stretched ominously across the pavement. The urgency in Nobuhiko's message weighed heavily on her mind.

"Which ones should we prioritize?" she pressed, her voice laced with concern. "We can't be everywhere at once. And with other sorcerers..."

Akihiko paused, his gaze sweeping over their small team gathered under the flickering streetlights. Each member mirrored his own apprehension, their faces a blend of determination and uncertainty in the face of imminent danger. They must do well here — there cannot be any room for mistakes.

"We need to make a decision, and quickly too." Akihiko said, his mind racing. "If the curses are converging on Meiji–Jingumae station, it could mean they're trying to cut off reinforcements or trap civilians. But Shibuya is their main target; we can't afford to leave it undefended."

Nobuhiko nodded, his eyes narrowing in thought. "What if we split up? We can regroup once we have a better understanding of the curses' movements."

Aina hesitated, glancing between Akihiko and Nobuhiko. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Nobuhiko–kun, splitting up might make us more vulnerable."

"It's a risk, but we don't have many options, Aina–sama." Akihiko replied, his tone firm. "We need to cover as much ground as possible. There’s few of us sorcerers available already. We must maximize what we can. Nobuhiko, make sure you keep in constant contact. If anything feels off, we regroup immediately."

He bowed his head. “Of course, nii-sama.”

Akihiko's sharp gaze swept over the faces of his team, each expression a blend of apprehension and steely resolve. Their eyes, wide with the weight of the impending challenge, mirrored the tension that had settled over them like a heavy, suffocating fog. The dim street lights cast long, flickering shadows, adding to the eerie atmosphere that seemed to press down on them all.

The gravity of the situation was undeniable, a constant reminder of the stakes they faced. It was as if the air itself was charged with the energy of impending danger, making every heartbeat louder, every breath heavier. Despite the unease that gripped them, Akihiko knew he had to be the anchor, the unwavering force that would keep them grounded. He was a descendant of Ryomen Hiromi. He must be strong, as she once was.

"We have to make sure everyone is going to be fine," he said firmly. "No matter what, our priority is to protect and assist."

Nobuhiko stepped forward, his voice filled with concern. "Then I and Aina–sama will go together to the Fukutoshin line, Akihiko–niisama. It's better if we stick together. I may be able to protect Aina–sama, if she heals.”

Akihiko nodded his head, his expression resolute. He turns his head to Aina. "I agree. There might be more along the way that need medical help, Aina–sama. Your expertise would be invaluable."

“I suppose so.” She nodded her head. “There are very few healers. We cannot burden Shoko–dono as much with healing.”

Nobuhiko's face tightened with worry. "Will you be okay, nii–sama?”

A reassuring smile crossed Akihiko's lips as he moved his haori slightly, revealing the four-piece katana strapped to his side. "I'll be fine, Nobu. The ancestors will lead me well."

Nobuhiko hesitated, then sighed, knowing Akihiko was right. "Alright. But we have to rendezvous at Shibuya station, nii–sama. Promise me that."

Akihiko's eyes gleamed with determination. "I promise. I'll bet on that."

With a final nod, the team split up, Nobuhiko and Aina–sama heading towards Meiji–Jingumae station, while Akihiko turned towards the Fukutoshin line. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the challenges ahead. He had to believe in Nobuhiko. He’s capable enough. He wasn’t made a first grade sorcerer for nothing.

He had to be confident that their paths would cross again in the heart of Shibuya. Still, he could not help but feel his gut say otherwise. He hadn’t had this feeling in a very long time. The sense of unease lingered, but he pushed forward, determined to face whatever awaited him in the darkened streets of the Shibuya itself.

‘It will all be fine.’ He thinks to himself as he runs as fast as he can. ‘I must trust that it will be fine. Gojo–sama and Genmei–sama are both here. They’re special grades. Everyone is doing their part too…’

He wanted to believe it, to hold on to the hope that whatever they have planned will overcome whatever comes their way. They had the favors of the gods at this moment. Gojo Satoru was the strongest among all the sorcerers that have ever come, past or present. And Genmei–sama, she’s powerful enough to deal with things. She is Hiromi’s successor. None could go against Hiromi in her lifetime. Who could ever try and surpass her too?

But the gnawing fear in his gut refused to be silenced. Something’s not right about all of this. He doesn’t know what. But it’s making him feel some kind of way. As he takes a deep breath, he keeps muttering prayers as he rushes through the empty streets. He could only pray that he was wrong — that everything will go smoothly. That they could save lives. That he would be enough.

As he sees his first target, he draws one katana.

His eyes hardened as his blade met the curse’s flesh.

He knew that this was going to be only the beginning.

9:20 PM

HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH. Mikoto Akihiko had been in the thick of it for what felt like an eternity. The weight of the station's gloomy ambiance seemed to amplify the urgency in his every movement. Gripping his katanas tightly, he drew them with a fluid grace that belied the tension in the air. Their blades, polished to a deadly sheen, caught the dim light in a chilling glint.

With a sharp exhale, Akihiko unleashed his cursed technique, Wind Swipe. The air around him seemed to thrum with unseen energy as he moved with lightning speed, slicing through the transfigured humans with relentless precision. His blades danced through the chaos, leaving arcs of crimson in their wake.

Blood sprayed against the walls in macabre patterns, painting a grim tableau of violence and desperation. The metallic scent mingled with the acrid stench of fear and decay, filling the station with a haunting atmosphere.

Akihiko's movements were a blur of calculated strikes and swift dodges, his senses attuned to every shift in the battlefield. The urgency of the situation pressed upon him, driving him to push beyond physical limits as his blades struggled to keep pace with the fury of his attacks.

Each swing of his katanas was a testament to his skill and determination, each cut a measured response to the relentless onslaught. Amidst the chaos, he remained a stoic figure, his focus unwavering despite the carnage unfolding around him.

He fought his way through one of the stations of the Fukutoshin line, every swing of his katana an act of desperation and resolve. As he cut down one enemy after another, he also focused on evacuating any civilians he encountered, urging them to safety with hurried, breathless commands.

But he knew there were more trapped by the curses. As he ascended the stairs, the screams grew louder, echoing through the tunnels, a chilling reminder of the terror unfolding above. His heart pounded in his chest, sweat dripping down his face, mingling with the grime and blood that clung to his skin.

Emerging into the chaos above, his suspicions were confirmed. Curses attacked non-sorcerers mercilessly, their grotesque forms reveling in the carnage. Akihiko gritted his teeth, the exhaustion weighing heavily on his limbs. He was tired, every muscle in his body screaming for respite, but he couldn't stop. Not now.

"I am the blood of Ryomen Hiromi." he whispered to himself, drawing strength from the legacy he bore. "I will not fail her. I will not fail here!”

With renewed determination burning in his eyes, Akihiko surged forward, his katanas becoming extensions of his will. The blades sliced through the air with a deadly grace, their movements swift and precise. Each strike carried the weight of his resolve, a silent oath to honor his ancestors and protect those who depended on him.

The station's dim light flickered overhead, casting long shadows that danced with his every movement. Sweat trickled down his brow, mingling with the adrenaline coursing through his veins. The echoes of battle reverberated off the walls, the clang of metal against flesh punctuating the air.

With each opponent he faced, Akihiko's movements were a ballet of death and defiance. His katanas flashed in intricate patterns, cutting down transfigured humans with calculated efficiency. His mind was a whirlwind of strategy and instinct, anticipating their every move with practiced precision.

Amidst the chaos and the screams, he remained a steadfast figure, unwavering in his commitment to the fight. Each foe he dispatched fueled his determination further, driving him onward through the relentless tide of curses and adversaries.

Akihiko's movements melded into a frenzied dance of survival, a blur of steel and sweat that echoed the urgency of the moment. Each strike of his katanas carried the weight of his determination, each swing a desperate bid to carve a path through the writhing curses that surrounded him. The air crackled with tension as his Wind Swipe technique cleaved through their twisted forms with deadly precision, leaving behind a gruesome trail of dismembered limbs and dark, oozing blood.

Amidst the chaos, his senses honed in on a group of civilians cornered by a particularly monstrous curse. Its grotesque maw gaped wide, hungering for their flesh. Without hesitation, Akihiko's fierce cry pierced the air as he surged forward. His katanas gleamed in the dim light as he closed the distance in a heartbeat.

With a swift, fluid motion, he struck with all the force he could muster. The first katana sliced through the curse's thick hide, sending a spray of dark ichor into the air. In the same fluid motion, the second blade arced through the creature's neck with lethal precision. The curse's head toppled from its shoulders in a clean sweep, landing with a sickening thud.

The creature's massive body convulsed and twitched, its death throes rattling the ground beneath them. Akihiko didn't pause to watch; instead, he turned his attention to the civilians, ensuring they were unharmed and ushering them to safety amidst the carnage.

Adrenaline surged through him, sharpening his senses and driving him onward. The battle raged on around him, but in that fleeting moment, as he stood amidst fallen curses and the faint cries of survivors, Akihiko knew that every life he saved was a victory against the encroaching darkness. But he cannot stop now, just because he saved others. He rushed across the bloodied rubble.

"Go! Run to safety!" he shouted at the terrified civilians, who wasted no time in fleeing the scene. “Don’t waste time, run! I will shield you!”

Akihiko's chest heaved with each ragged gasp, the weight of exhaustion pressing down on him like a physical force. The relentless onslaught of curses threatened to overwhelm him, their twisted forms closing in from all sides. His katanas felt heavier with every swing, his muscles burning with the strain of relentless combat.

The station's dim lights flickered overhead once again, casting eerie shadows that danced with the chaos unfolding around him. The paperwork for this damage was going to be a headache. But he cannot think too much about it now. ‘Fight,’ he thinks. ‘Bills can wait!’

Blood and ichor splattered across his clothes, mingling with the sweat that soaked his brow. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, drowning out the cacophony of shrieks and clashes. In the corner of his eye, he could see people fleeing. One curse tried to encroach towards the running civilians, but he jumped in front of it, attacking it with a thrust.

Despite the mounting fatigue and the blurring edges of his vision, Akihiko refused to yield. He couldn't afford to, not with the lives of so many innocent civilians hanging in the balance. Each strike he made was fueled by sheer willpower, each parry a testament to his unwavering resolve. He has to continue on. He can pass out later. He can do all these defeatist things later.

A sudden burst of energy surged through him, a mix of adrenaline and sheer willpower. He thought of his ancestors, of Hiromi, whose blood ran through his veins. Their legacy was his to uphold, their strength his to draw upon. With a renewed roar, he cut through another wave of curses, his katanas moving with blinding speed.

In a brief moment of respite, Akihiko looked around, assessing the situation. The station was a battlefield, littered with the remains of curses and the fallen. The cries of the injured and dying filled the air, a haunting reminder of the cost of this battle. His heart ached with the weight of his responsibility, but he knew he couldn't falter.

He made his way deeper into the station, the screams growing louder. He knew there were more people trapped, more lives hanging in the balance. His body screamed for rest, but he forced himself onward, his katanas ready for the next onslaught. He gritted his teeth as he continued on.

As he rounded a corner, he saw a young girl, no older than ten, cowering behind a column, tears streaming down her face. A curse loomed over her, its claws inches from her trembling form. Without a second thought, Akihiko sprang into action, his blades slicing through the air with deadly precision. The curse let out a final, gurgling scream as it disintegrated into a pool of dark ichor.

The girl looked up at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice trembling.

Akihiko knelt down, his exhaustion momentarily forgotten. "It's going to be okay," he said gently, offering her a reassuring smile. "You're safe now."

As he escorted her to safety, his thoughts drifted back to Hiromi. Her legacy was a heavy burden, but it was one he bore with pride. He would not fail her. He would fight on, no matter the cost, until every last curse was vanquished and the people of Shibuya were safe. With a final look at the chaos around him, Akihiko steeled himself for the battles yet to come. He was the blood of Hiromi, and he would not rest until his mission was complete.

He’s going to hold on, he’s not bowing down.

One way or another, he’ll get to Shibuya Station.

He will exercise all these curses once and for all.

10:50 PM

HE COULDN’T SEE IN ONE EYE. Taking a deep, ragged breath, Akihiko fought to steady himself amidst the chaos. His one functioning eye burned with determination, though it struggled to focus through the haze of blood, sweat, and the lingering echoes of battle cries. The station's dim lights flickered erratically overhead, casting fleeting glimpses of the gruesome scene unfolding around him.

Akihiko's katanas lay shattered and splintered at his feet. It was obvious that it was a ferocious battle. Blood seeped from countless wounds that marred his once-unyielding frame, the fabric of his clothing torn and stained. The relentless assault had taken its toll; he could feel the throbbing ache of broken ribs and possibly other fractured bones, each movement sending waves of agony through his battered body.

Despite the overwhelming pain and weariness that threatened to drag him down, Akihiko refused to yield. He clenched his jaw against the torment, drawing upon the last reserves of his cursed energy. Every fiber of his being screamed in protest with each step, each swing of his arms. Yet, driven by a fierce resolve, he pressed forward.

Before him, the first-grade curses surged with unnerving precision, their movements mirroring his own with a chilling synchronicity. They seemed to anticipate his every strike, their claws and fangs a deadly symphony of aggression and intent.

Akihiko knew he was at the brink of exhaustion, his senses dulled by pain and fatigue. But in the heat of battle, with the lives of innocent civilians hanging in the balance, there was no room for retreat. Every ounce of strength he could muster went into his defenses and counterattacks, each movement a struggle against the encroaching darkness.

As the battle wore on, the station echoed with the clash of steel and the agonized cries of curses. Akihiko fought on, his body pushed beyond its limits, clinging to the desperate hope that his endurance and skill would be enough to turn the tide.

His attacks grew more furious, each strike fueled by frustration and desperation. He had to reach Shibuya Station. He had to. Nobuhiko and Aina–sama were waiting for him. He can’t give in to all this now. He had to finish this fight and go to where he needs to be. Pushing himself to his limits, Akihiko’s movements became a blur, his remaining blade flashing through the air with lethal intent.

But it wasn't enough. The curses continued their relentless assault, their grotesque forms mocking him with their seemingly boundless resilience. Akihiko's frustration simmered beneath the surface, boiling over into a primal roar of defiance that echoed through the station.

With a surge of desperate determination, he threw himself back into the fray. Every ounce of his dwindling strength fueled his attacks, his katanas slashing through the air with a frenzied intensity. The curses countered with eerie precision, their claws and teeth gnashing against his blades with a relentless ferocity.

His once-proud katana began to betray him under the strain. The metal groaned and protested, small cracks forming along its length with each forceful clash. Splinters of steel sprayed into the air, a testament to the overwhelming force of the onslaught he faced.

Akihiko gritted his teeth against the pain that shot through his arms and shoulders with every blow. His movements became a blur of desperation and resolve, each strike a gamble against the odds. Sweat mingled with blood on his brow, his vision narrowing to a tunnel of focus as he fought to maintain his footing against the relentless tide.

The station's walls seemed to close in around him, the air heavy with the stench of blood and sweat. Every breath burned in his lungs, every heartbeat a painful reminder of his mortality. Yet, fueled by a stubborn refusal to surrender, he pushed himself beyond the limits of endurance.

In the midst of the chaos, Akihiko's mind raced with strategies and calculations, searching for any advantage to gain an upper hand. But the curses, relentless and unyielding, matched him blow for blow, their mocking resilience a grim reminder of the uphill battle he faced.

Still, amid the cracks in his blade and the searing pain that threatened to overwhelm him, Akihiko fought on. His roar of defiance echoed through the station once more. In a final, desperate effort, he thrust his katana forward with all his might. His eyes widened in shock as a blinding white light erupted from the blade, engulfing the curses in its brilliance. The explosion of energy was immense, a searing burst that annihilated the first-grade curses in an instant.

The force of the blast sent shockwaves through Akihiko's body, hurling him backwards like a ragdoll. He collided with the unforgiving ground, the impact stealing the breath from his lungs. Pain radiated through every limb as darkness threatened to envelop him. The world spun in disorienting swirls, his vision clouding and flickering as unconsciousness tugged at the edges of his awareness.

Through blurred eyes, Akihiko caught a fleeting glimpse of the station bathed in an eerie, ethereal glow of white light. It bathed everything in its spectral embrace, casting stark shadows that danced across the walls.

As the radiance began to wane, a figure emerged from the epicenter of the light. The brilliance coalesced into a humanoid form, its features shrouded in the remnants of the fading glow. Purple eyes gleamed with an otherworldly brilliance, scanning the chaotic scene with an expression of profound bewilderment.

The figure stood tall amidst the wreckage, its presence commanding yet enigmatic. Akihiko struggled against the encroaching darkness, trying to make sense of the surreal sight before him. Was this a savior, a harbinger of hope amidst the devastation, or something more ominous, drawn by the chaos that had unfolded? He did not know. But his eyes were slowly closing. He was too exhausted. Too exhausted to continue.

Despite the throbbing pain and the haze of confusion that clouded his thoughts, Akihiko's instincts prickled with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. His breath came in shallow gasps, each heartbeat a drumming echo in his ears. He couldn't move, couldn't speak—only watch as the figure observed the aftermath of the cataclysmic event with an inscrutable gaze.

“Where am I?” the figure muttered, their voice tinged with confusion as though they had just awoken from a long slumber.

The once tumultuous station fell into an unsettling silence, the reverberations of the fierce battle fading gradually into nothingness. Amidst the debris and scattered remnants of conflict, the figure stood as a singular enigma, its existence seemingly born from the ethereal glow that had engulfed the surroundings moments before.

Purple eyes, luminous and inscrutable, surveyed the aftermath with an air of detached curiosity. The figure's form radiated a quiet power, a presence that seemed to transcend the mortal realm, yet its intentions remained veiled in mystery.

Meanwhile, Akihiko lay sprawled on the cold, unforgiving ground, his body battered and unconscious. His breaths were shallow and ragged, oblivious to the strange turn of events that had unfolded in his absence. Around him, the station bore the scars of the recent conflict—broken walls, shattered debris, and a pervasive sense of unease that lingered in the air.

As moments stretched into minutes, the figure remained motionless, a sentinel amidst the aftermath, silently observing the delicate balance that had been disturbed. The station, once a bustling hub of activity, now lay in disarray, its future uncertain in the wake of the inexplicable events that had transpired.

Ryomen Hiromi did not know what to do.

How could she be here, alive and well?

“What has been going on here, little ones?”

11:02 PM

IT WAS A STRANGE THING, LIFE. But as strange as it was, you don't think the mystery of life could ever answer the reason why you were still alive. You don’t remember how you got here. Your eyes widened as your kimono mingled with the blood that swept through the rubble-strewn tiles. The metallic scent of blood and the acrid stench of burning flesh assaulted your senses, a smell you knew all too well. You’ve lived long enough to remember, to know. You didn’t understand why you were here at all. Fear clawed at your heart. All you remembered was the darkness.

Your memories were hazy, fragmented like shattered glass, but one thing was clear: you should be dead. You should have been dead a long time ago. The confusion and terror churned within you, threatening to consume you. But amidst the chaos, a relentless need to understand burned bright. You needed to know. You needed to know what was happening.

Staggering to your feet, you glanced around, your mind struggling to piece together the fragments of your existence. The station was a warzone, littered with bodies and the remnants of a fierce battle. You spotted a group of sorcerers in the distance, their expressions a mix of determination and desperation as they fought off the relentless onslaught of curses.

You took a hesitant step forward, your feet slipping on the blood-slicked tiles. Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat a reminder of your confusion and fear. As you moved, you noticed a figure lying amidst the rubble, their form battered and bloodied.

Compelled by a force you couldn't explain, you approached the fallen figure. It was a young man, his body broken and his breathing shallow. Something about him seemed familiar, tugging at the frayed edges of your memory. You knelt beside him, your hands trembling as you reached out.

"Who... who are you?" you whispered, your voice barely audible over the distant sounds of battle.

The young man stirred, his eyelids fluttering open slowly until his gaze met yours. There was a familiarity in the way he sat, a subtle resemblance to Masaomi that tugged at your heartstrings. Memories of Masaomi's youthful expressions flashed through your mind—the way he would scrunch his face in a playful manner while seeking shade under the trees.

In that fleeting moment of awakening, a spark of recognition flickered between you, an inexplicable connection that defied rational explanation. It was as if time had momentarily folded upon itself, linking your past with this present encounter.

Your eyes fell upon the pin adorning his haori—a double heron, a symbol etched deeply in your family's history. A jolt of realization coursed through you, and your eyes widened in astonishment. Could it be possible? Could this young man sitting before you be... your descendant?

The notion seemed improbable yet undeniably stirring. Generations separated you, yet the echoes of lineage and shared bloodline whispered softly in the recesses of your mind. The heron symbol, a mark of ancestral legacy, seemed to bridge the gap between past and present, weaving a narrative of kinship and continuity that transcended time itself.

As you gazed upon him, the young man's features softened with a hint of curiosity, perhaps sensing the unspoken question that hung in the air between you. The station, once a site of turmoil and conflict, now bore witness to a quieter revelation—an unexpected connection that carried profound implications for both of you.

"Akihiko," he managed to rasp, his voice weak but resolute. "Mikoto Akihiko."

The name resonated deeply within you, stirring memories long buried beneath the weight of time. Mikoto Akihiko... Each syllable carried with it a profound sense of familiarity, a resonance that transcended mere coincidence. As you gazed at him, a realization dawned like a gentle awakening—a connection that stretched across generations.

He is your descendant.

And a fine one, at that.

He has survived all this.

The revelation settled upon you with a quiet intensity, weaving threads of ancestry and legacy into the fabric of your being. Mikoto Akihiko, sitting before you, embodied more than just familial resemblance; he embodied the continuation of a lineage steeped in history and tradition. He embodied strength. The heron pin on his haori, a symbol etched with significance, spoke volumes of the ties that bound you together, echoing through the corridors of time.

“You’ve worked hard, little one.” You whispered lowly as your hands traced his hair. “You are a worthy descendant.”

You glanced around, your gaze settling on the distant group of sorcerers gathered amidst the remnants of the battle. Questions churned in your mind, a relentless pursuit for understanding amidst the chaos that had unfolded. Why were you here? What had transpired to bring you to this pivotal moment?

But amidst the clamor of uncertainty, one thought remained steadfast: you needed to ensure Akihiko's safety first and foremost. He lay nearby, unconscious yet surrounded by an aura of ancestral significance that now bound you together.

With a determined breath, you moved swiftly towards him, your steps purposeful despite the lingering unease that gnawed at your thoughts. The station's shadows danced around you, a reminder of the recent turmoil that had engulfed the place.

With Akihiko's name lingering in your mind, you took a deep breath, steadying yourself against the overwhelming tide of fear and confusion. Determination sparked within you, fueling your resolve to uncover the truth. You carefully lifted Akihiko, supporting his weight as best you could, and began making your way toward the group of sorcerers in the distance.

Each step was a struggle, the weight of the wounded man and the treacherous terrain slowing your progress. Blood and debris littered the ground, a grim testament to the ferocity of the battle that had unfolded here. The sorcerers fought on, their cursed energy clashing against the monstrous forms of the curses that still plagued the station.

As you drew closer, one of the sorcerers noticed your approach. A young woman with fierce eyes and a determined expression broke away from the group, rushing to meet you. Her gaze flickered to Akihiko, her concern evident.

"Who are you?" she demanded, her voice sharp with urgency. "What happened to him?"

"I'm..." You hesitated, the uncertainty of your own identity gnawing at you. You don’t even know if they understand you. "I don't know why I'm here. But…. I found him like this. His name is Mikoto Akihiko."

It took her a while to understand you. But you supposed it was because you lived in a different world with a different manner of speech. Still, she needs only look at the man in front of her, in your arms to understand what you meant. Recognition flashed in the woman's eyes, and she quickly signaled for the others. Two more sorcerers joined her, their expressions grim as they assessed Akihiko's condition.

"We need to get him to safety," one of them said, his voice firm. "There’s a safe zone not far from here. We can regroup there."

Together, you and the sorcerers moved as swiftly as possible, navigating the chaos of the station. The safe zone was a makeshift shelter, shielded by powerful barriers that kept the curses at bay. Inside, wounded sorcerers and civilians were being tended to, their faces etched with a mix of relief and exhaustion.

The sorcerers gently laid Akihiko down, and the young woman who had first approached you knelt beside him, her hands glowing with healing energy. You watched, a sense of helplessness washing over you. Despite your confusion and fear, you couldn't shake the feeling that you were meant to be here, that your presence held some significance.

One of the other sorcerers, a tall man with piercing eyes, turned his attention to you. "Who are you, really? And why are you here?"

You met his gaze, struggling to find the words. "I... I don't remember. I woke up in the station, and everything was chaos. I should be dead, but I'm not. I don’t understand any of this."

“I….I see.” He whispers to you as you purse your lips. “Thank you…for bringing him here.”

“No problem.”

Just then, a curse began to scream angrily as it lunged toward them. Without warning, a piercing beam of white light shot through the air with incredible speed. You turned in time to see the curse vanish into nothingness.

The tense moment peaked with the curse's furious cries ringing out, only to be abruptly silenced by the blinding light that engulfed it. In that fleeting instance, you witnessed the curse dissolve into faint wisps, leaving everyone momentarily stunned by the inexplicable event that had just unfolded before their eyes.

“How did you—”

“I don’t know.” You responded in a soft mumble. “I whispered it in my mind….and it worked.”

“You’re a sorcerer?”

“I….” You stopped yourself for a moment. “A long time ago.”

You did not wait for them to say anything else as you turned your back. You walked away as much as you could. Your head was starting to hurt as you disappeared into the alleys. You tried to walk through the undamaged pathways, but every turn revealed more bodies, their stillness stark against the chaos that surrounded them. The air was heavy with the metallic tang of blood, mingling with the acrid scent of burning flesh. How did this happen? How had such devastation come to pass?

The eerie silence of the alleyways amplified the grim reality around you. Shadows danced eerily across walls painted with tragedy. You pressed on, each step a struggle against the rising tide of despair and disbelief. This new world that you tried to help build. All the blood, sweat and the tears. How could they end up repeating the mistakes of the past? How could they seek more wrongs, more destruction?

Memories flashed unbidden from where you stood — moments of laughter, faces now forever frozen in time. The scenes of destruction etched themselves into your mind: shattered buildings, twisted metal, and the haunting stillness of the fallen. They were all people. Just as you had once been. And they were robbed of their world. They were robbed of their peace. You purse your lips softly, your heart breaking over and over at this tragedy.

Questions gnawed at your thoughts like relentless echoes. How did it come to this? This city, once vibrant with life, now lay ravaged and desolate. Every corner turned revealed more devastation. One that you had never hoped to see, one that you had hoped no one ever will experience again. And yet, it does.

You do not know yet, the full extent of this madness. But you knew that it could not be good. You could feel it all across from where you stood. Over and over, ripples of powerful cursed energy. Not just one, but multiple. There must be quite a few battles happening one at a time. One which you thought had died with your generation.

In death, you had hoped for peace, believing your sacrifice would bring an end to suffering. But now, as you witnessed the aftermath unfold before you, that hope crumbled like fragile glass. The reality was stark and bitter: peace had been nothing more than a fleeting illusion. The cycle of violence, far from being halted, continued unabated, its tendrils spreading like a stain across the world.

The scenes of devastation bore witness to the futility of it all. Buildings reduced to rubble, streets littered with remnants of lives abruptly cut short — each shattered window and twisted piece of metal echoed the relentless brutality that persisted despite your sacrifice.

You had believed in the possibility of redemption, of a future free from the horrors that had plagued the children of the future Yet, as you walked through the haunting silence of the ruined alleys, it became painfully clear that the cycle of violence was an insidious force, unyielding and pervasive. It stained not just the physical landscape but also the very fabric of existence, casting a long shadow over any fleeting moments of hope.

Nothing had changed.

And that broke your heart.

How could this be what humanity is?

You navigated through the remnants of what was once familiar, the weight of despair settled upon your shoulders. The dream of peace, for which you had given everything, now seemed like a distant, unattainable whisper in the wind. As you emerged from the carnage, disoriented and confused, you felt a presence before you. There, standing amidst the wreckage, was someone you hadn't expected to see again. You could feel the air be knocked out of your chest as you stumbled backwards.

Your purple eyes widened at the sight of the world burning all around them. The way he stood before you, the cruel twist of fate, felt like a descent into hell. He appeared as he did when you were both young. This, you realized with a sinking heart, was your personal hell — a thousand years, countless lives apart. His wish had come true. He had vowed to follow you to any hell, so long as he could be with you.

Ryomen Sukuna stood before you, his presence overwhelming even in a body never meant to be his own. Despite the vessel's unfamiliarity, you recognized him immediately. It was in the way he held himself, the intensity in his eyes, and the aura of power that surrounded him. There was no mistaking it; he had found a way to return, defying the bounds of time and fate.

As you stared into those eyes, memories flooded back — moments of shared laughter, fierce battles fought side by side, and promises made under different skies. The weight of a millennia of distance, all this time pondering separation pressed upon your soul, mingling with the realization that despite everything, the bond between you had endured.

Your heart pounded with a mixture of disbelief and longing. The world around you continued to burn, but in that moment, everything else faded into insignificance. Ryomen Sukuna stood before you.

“You’re here.” He says as you feel frozen in place.

"You found a way." you whispered, your voice barely audible against the backdrop of chaos. “This was your doing, wasn’t it?”

A surge of conflicting emotions swept through you — relief, fear, and an undeniable sense of completeness. Despite the havoc wrought upon the world, his presence brought a strange comfort, a reminder of a bond forged in the crucible of adversity. A bond that you had long rejected, as he did. And yet all the same, a thousand years later, hundreds upon hundreds of human lives lived and ended — and you were still here. Together.

As you stood face to face, the echoes of past lives reverberated between you like whispers in the wind. The weight of centuries hung heavy in the air, mingling with the uncertainty of what lay ahead. The world around you continues to burn, consumed by turmoil and unrest.

Yet, in this poignant moment of reunion, you couldn't escape the unsettling truth: he was a force of destruction, a catalyst for chaos. His presence alone seemed to amplify the flames that engulfed the world. You knew deep down that he would leave a trail of devastation in his wake, more than he already had in his relentless pursuit of power and dominance.

His touch was gentle yet charged with a dangerous allure as his fingers traced the loose strands of your hair, brushing against the edges of your ear. His eyes, intense and unwavering, lowered to meet yours, studying your expression with a mixture of familiarity and calculation.

In that fleeting exchange, you sensed the complexity of his emotions — a blend of longing and determination, tempered by a ruthlessness that mirrored the flames consuming everything around you. As you stared into his eyes, you grappled with the undeniable pull he exerted over you, knowing that despite the chaos he wrought, there was a part of you that couldn't resist him, even as the world burned.

"You're a force of destruction," you whispered, your voice tinged with sorrow and accusation. "Everything you touch turns to chaos."

He didn't flinch from your words, his touch lingering on your cheek. "I've never claimed to be anything else," he admitted softly. "But you've always known this about me."

"I thought... I hoped..." Your voice faltered, emotions swirling within you.

He tilted his head, a faint smile touching his lips. "That I could change?" he finished for you, his tone gentle yet unyielding. "Some things, love, are beyond change."

"But the cost..." you trailed off, unable to voice the fear that gripped your heart.

He sighed, his gaze searching yours with a mixture of affection and regret. "I never wanted this for us, you know this." he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. "But I can't walk away. Not now. It is too late.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled with conflicting desires — to embrace him, to run from him, to beg him to turn back from the path he'd chosen. "I love you." you admitted, the words a desperate plea. You lowered your gaze. “I….I loved you.”

His fingers tightened gently against your skin, a silent promise in his touch. If he was hurt by the last words you said, he did not show it. No matter how you hurt him, or hate him — even back then. You knew that Ryomen Sukuna could care less. So long as he could be near you, so long as he could look at you, as he does now; nothing else truly mattered. The world can burn, so long as he can be with you.

"And I love you." he replied, his voice a solemn vow. "But this is who I am."

You could feel your breath stolen from you as he leaned forward, his lips pressing against your cheek with a tenderness that cut deeper than any blade. The sensation shook you to your core, a visceral tremor that reverberated through the very essence of your being.

You didn't want this. It was like witnessing the moon in daylight—forbidden, impossible, a betrayal of everything you knew. Yet, despite your inner turmoil, he dared to make it real. He forced the possibility into existence with each tender touch, each lingering moment that defied logic and reason.

Anger and resentment welled up within you, a primal urge to push him away, to sever the ties that bound you together. You wanted to hate him for complicating your life, for shaking the foundations of your beliefs. The weight of betrayal hung heavy in the air, threatening to suffocate the fragile threads of your resolve.

But amidst the turmoil of conflicting emotions, a stubborn truth remained—you couldn't abandon him, not completely. Even as you struggled to reject all that he represented, all that he stirred within you, a part of you remained tethered to him, unable to sever the bond that fate had woven between your souls. You were always bound by fate. One way or another, the red string you hold was always going to be with him. And you hated it. You hated it. And yet—

"I have something to deal with," he murmured, his touch feather-light against the edge of your jaw, gently lifting it so your eyes met his. His gaze held a mixture of determination and tenderness, a silent promise echoing in his words. "I will come back for you, night flower. I always will."

His words hung in the air, laden with a weight that seemed to anchor you both in the moment. The faintest hint of a smile touched his lips, a fleeting reassurance amidst the uncertainty that surrounded you.

You wanted to speak, to protest, to demand answers or assurances. Yet, his touch, his gaze, held you captive in a silent understanding that transcended words. The nickname, "night flower," whispered a story of intimacy and longing, of moments shared beneath the cover of darkness. One which should never be. Never again.

As he turned away, his silhouette framed against the dim light filtering through the shattered windows of the station, you felt a pang of reluctance. His departure left an ache in your chest, a yearning for his return that defied reason. Tears welled up on your face.

“How much more blood will he put in my hands?”

You looked as the world turned to ruin over and over.

He burned the entirety of it all and you, you watched it all.

And you knew, all too well, that he will never let you go.

facts about the chapter

this was about 7000-8000 words. i debated whether if it should be longer, but i realized if i made it any longer, it would break the time frame of shibuya

i was a bit stumped when i made this part of the story in the draft process, because i know what was gonna happen in the end, but i didn't know how i'll get there. i realized this was the best way to do it. hiromi meeting her descendants has always been on my mind.

mikoto akihiko is a minor member of the ryomen-mikoto clan. he's from the mikoto side of the family. he's a devoted servant and minor relative to genmei and satoru!!! he's served the main family since he was a boy and has pride for it.

akihiko's curse technique, wind swipe, is a speed power. he can use how fast he is to stun and defeat enemies in an instant. he can see things in slow-mo and in fast pace. he always knows what's happening time wise.

hiromi will later say that akihiko does in fact look like masaomi. in shinjuku showdown, akihiko gets slashed by sukuna because he reminded him of masaomi. sukuna's hatred is in fact generational!

his swords are called '照明' lighting or illuminations. it moves so fast that it looks like flashes of light, so it stuns opponents when they come and fight him.

the swords were taken when kenjaku left sukuna's embalmed corpse in his hide out. tengen kept the corpse for themselves, but the swords were gifted to hiromi's grandson. and it was passed on to whoever best uses it. akihiko managed to get that privilege when he was fifteen.

kenjaku put hiromi's soul into the sword after hiromi fought him back when memories started returning. he restrained her, easily as she didn't have a body. this happened at the same time when sukuna sought him for his expertise. kenjaku wanted to keep hiromi around as a companion, and a future leverage against sukuna.

hiromi experienced a thousand years as a weapon. it was one of the four swords that never broke and was called the '根性' or the strong willed because it never needed to break.

hiromi did not feel a thing despite being stuck in the blade. she was hidden within a pocket dimension which kenjaku created. he intended to keep her for a long time.

sukuna only knew about hiromi being kept by kenjaku during the culling games. he had hopes all that thousand years that she will be reincarnated and be with him again.

though hiromi and genmei lookalike, she isn't her reincarnation. souls are the one that reincarnate. hiromi's soul never got to rest, so it truly can never reincarnate until she fully dies and her soul is at peace.

hiromi's ability to use her mind with commands for her use of her power is something she hasn't been used to just yet. but genmei started to do it when she developed it. the problem is that it takes a lot of energy to use.

hiromi will be in the culling games, and wants to kill sukuna to end all the suffering. she believes that killing sukuna means the suffering of many will end. only then can she rest in peace.

sukuna and hiromi will interact a bit in the culling games and pre-shinjuku showdown. sukuna like he did all those years ago, cannot help himself when it comes to her. he's really obssessed with her.

hiromi throughout this refuses to gain use of a body for a vessel. she thinks that as she is not permanence on this situation, she does not need a body. her power is enough to maintain a state of solid body for now.

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greenbergwrites · 1 year

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There's another 3-day "stuff your Kindle" promotion going on where a bunch of books are free right now, link to the master list here~

Some notable mentions:

Favor by Kiki Clark - Book one in a trilogy. I own both available books in this series and the third one comes out next week. I'll be honest, it's been a while since I've read this, so I can't give you specifics, but Kiki Clark is one of those authors I trust enough to grab their stuff immediately.

In The Shadows by Hailey Turner - Book #3 in a 6-part series. Not sure why book 3 is free instead of book 1 but I will tell you that the whole series is on KU and it's pretty cool. Good X-Men vibes if the X-Men were a branch of law enforcement. I own the whole series in paperback. HT is heavy on the plot but she also throws some casual kink into her sex scenes. Alexei is one of my favorite characters and this is his romance. It feature a good couple'a tropes that I'm a sucker for. [HIGHLY recommend the audiobooks, too, if anyone is interested. I found this series through Audible.]

Lost Touch by Eliot Grayson - The 7th book in the series, but can be read as a stand-alone. A lot of books in the series aren't really connected, or only tangentially connected. Another series I own the paperbacks for. I read this book while DEEP in my depression state, though, so I remember almost nothing about it but EG is another author I automatically grab. [In case you're wondering, my favorite of the series is the one just before this, Lost & Bound. Only free if you have KU, though.]

Lacuna by N.R. Walker - I have not read this book, but I do know the author and I tend to like their stories. I'm looking forward to this one since it has fantasy elements. Most of NRW's stuff is contemporary, and the works I've read by them are among those.

Drive Me Crazy by Beth Bolden - I have read this one, it's decent if you want something that's a quick read. BB has a couple of different food-related series that are interconnected so there are mentions of other couples but I didn't have a problem following it without having read the others. [Sweet As Pie is another BB title and a better read imo but it's only free if you have KU.]

The Wrangler & the Orphan by Jackie North -- JN has another series called Love Across Time. I've read most of that series and own it in paperback. I haven't read this series, so I can't vouch for it, but the other one was pretty good.

Here are some authors on the list that are hit or miss for me, but fair warning, I haven't read any of the titles:

Professor Daddy by Nora Phoenix -- I own this one, but I don't seem to remember it? Maybe if I re-read it, idk. NP is technically a good writer, I just think they infodump too much sometimes and I find myself glazing a lot. I like books that I'm invested in emotionally and I don't find myself too invested in NP's stuff.

King of Askara by Victoria Sue - I own things by VS but some of their stuff is objectively terrible. I haven't read this title, I don't know which it will turn out to be.

Out of the Frying Pan by Elouise East - I have this ongoing probably where I know I've read things by Elouise East because the name is familiar but I can't for the life of me remember the title or if I liked it. I'm guessing they're somewhere in the middle re: writing, because if it was terrible, I'd remember it.

The Problem by Piper Scott -- They also write under Emma Alcott and I own all of EA's books in paperback. I also own all of Forbidden Desires (y'know, that dragon-shifter series I talked about a while ago) in paperback.

I cannot vouch for any other Piper Scott titles, but I do know that everything where her co-author is Susi Hawke is objectively terrible.

#book recs #stuff your kindle day #m/m romance

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lil228 · 8 months

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Red White and Royal Blue Notes Day 8

WARNING- Spoilers for both the book and the movie

Despite the fact that Henry’s mom is dealing with a lot, but she’s still here for her son. That’s so sweet! We love supportive moms!

Catherine is so nice to Alex and that’s just so sweet.

I have a feeling the meeting with Queen Mary’s not going to go well.

Would she technically be Queen Mary The II? When dose the books timeline diverge from our own? I mean Anne Boylen is mentioned, and it seems the rest of history is mostly the same so I’m going to guess it diverges around 2015 ish. That would mean that she is Queen Mary II

Dose Trump exist in this timeline? It dosen’t really seem like it. So dose he not exist at all or did he just never get involved in politics? Dose Hillary Clinton exist? I mean she must exist at least as a former first lady but did she- none of this actually matters. I mean it’s what I thought about but it’s not important to the book.

Queen Mary is the worst! Not only is she homophobic but she’s also racist! Boo! Hiss!

Look I don’t want to be that guy but there might be some parallels between the fictional Queen Mary and the really Queen Elizabeth. And this came out before Meagn and Harry talked to Orpha.

It’s also probably not a coincidence that this queen is named Mary, which is also the name of Mary I- half sister to Elizabeth I, and who is often called bloody Mary.

I just want to give poor Henry a hug. He dosen’t deserve this bullsh*t

Catherine really is a good mum.

Yes Henry stand up for yourself sweet boy!

Alex dosen’t need you permission to do anything ma’am! (Queen Mary) He dosen’t even have to bow to you! I googled it out of curiosity one day, Americans- and any non-brit for that matter- don’t have to bow to the Queen or King of England

Philp shut the f*ck up, nobody aksed why are you even here?

I watched the movie, so I knew what was coming, but it was so much better and more heartwarming in the book somehow.

The Alex and Henry were here banner got a good laugh out of me.

Look I know this whole thing seems pretty cheesy, but straight people have the whole Hallmark Channel, queer people should get cheesy romance too!

Yes Catherine! You go future queen!

Philp! Shut. The. Fu*k. Up!

Bea is the MVP for getting Philp the hell out of there.

Okay that mural sounds stunning! I hope there’s fan art! I’d do it myself but I cannot draw, like at all.

I wish that headline was real! Also is Dykes on Bikes is a real thing? Oh my gosh it is! And it’s a motorcycle group! I don’t know why I thought it was a cycling group, it being a motorcycle group makes way more sense!

I love that June bought merch, also I would a thousand percent buy and wear a “History, huh?” t-shirt. Both in the book universe and in this one.

Uh where the f*ck is Nora? What is she doing? Is she okay?

Lol, I love that Nora just bursts in, and addresses the President of United States by shouting her first name.

The Richards campaign! They’re responsible? Invading people’s privacy and outing them for a political campaign is just a whole new zip code of f*cked up.

Wait! Wait! Rafael Luna told Nora about the leaks! Holy heel-face turn batman!

I’m so exited for Henry and Alex to be together publicly.

Okay this books timeline/universe is clearly better than ours

No Trump (or at least he’s not involved in politics)

A gay prince

A bi first son

A beloved high profile same sex couple

No Covid

I’m really impressed by June’s speech writing abilities

I love Amy! She’s the best!

Amy has a WIFE? Just when I couldn’t thought she couldn’t get better! She’s been gay the whole time! Why am I just learning this now!

Amy is trans too!

After a quick google search I learned that Amy was played by a trans actress in the movie! That’s amazing!

Cash is pan! Damn Helen and Zahra are the only straight ones in the White House!

“Stupid Sam the Eagle face” got a good laugh out of me.

Okay so Senator Luna actually that bad, but he did switch sides, so I’m going to keep prediction point.

Okay nevermind, he was double agent the whole time! I’ll give back my prediction point I’m back down to 7.

Holy Sh*th Richards is a truly terrible person. He outed two young adults and he abused/ is abusing/sexualy exploting his staffers! What a POS.

Henry staying in the Queens Room- which is Dolores Umbridge of pink- made me giggle. But is makes sense, the internet tells me it is named after the many royals who have stayed there.

It makes me so happy that Alex gets to do all of the official royal suitor things!

I’m just so happy that these two get to love each other publicly now.

The youth shelters!

Why is Philip here. Go away!

Okay, maybe I was a bit harsh, Philip is at least trying to be nice.

Nora and Alex getting exited about their futures is so cute!

The jacket is a really nice touch.

I audibly squealed when June said she got a book deal.

It’s sweet that the candid photo is the one that got published.

Out of everything in this book I having the hardest time believing that Texas voting blue.

Henry wearing a tie with yellow rose tie, because of the yellow rose of Tx is so adorable.

Liam! I was not expecting that!

Liam reaching out to Alex after he got outed was really nice of him.

Okay, we must protect Spencer at all costs

I can relate to June stress eating.

Cash dancing on the chair made me giggle!

Amy is still the flipping best!

I think Zahra gets a pass for making out in public. She was incredibly stressed like two seconds ago.

Henry bought a place in Brooklyn! Squeal!

Zahra is going to need the worlds longest nap after all of this

Henry being on stage during the victory speech! Oh my heart!

The double meaning of we won is just brilliant!

Alex and Henry in Alex’s childhood home is so adorable!

#red white and royal blue #book thoughts #books and reading

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libertyreads · 11 months

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Book Review #128 of 2023--

A Christmas Negotiation by Karen Booth. Rating: 2.5 stars.

Read from November 3rd to 4th.

I want to start by saying that the title of this one may have the word Christmas in it, but this is kind of far from a Christmas Romance in my opinion. The only thing that even kind of feels festive is that the two of them decorate a tree at one point. Everything else about the story could have taken place at any other time of the year. As someone who loves Christmas and is trying to fit in as many Christmas Romances as possible between now and the New Year? It wasn't great for me. It also didn't help that I could tell the characters had chemistry, but when they were apart I didn't understand why they were so fixated on the sex they've had in the past. That could be an asexual me thing. I always mention that I'm an asexual reader who likes reading some spice sometimes, but can have trouble understanding some character motivations because of it. For me, the one night stand they had wasn't particularly mind blowing. It felt like a pretty generic sex scene, but the characters are so overwhelmed by their memories of that night over the next couple of days. Which I cannot understand at all. There were some cute moments that involve our two love interests but also a cat and her kittens which was so sweet and kept me reading. I'm not sure what's up with my Christmas Romance choices this year but I'm hoping that I can pick up a couple more before the end of the month and that they knock it out of the park for me.

#a christmas negotiation #karen booth #book review #book reviews #booklr #bookblr #bookstagram #bookish #books #christmas romance #kind of #rom-com #romance

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everlasting-stories · 3 years

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To Feel Again [M]

Genre: light angst, romance

Warnings[!]: smut, penetration, creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of adult toys

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Words: 4.4k / One-shot

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Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love.

You sighed, staring unseeing into your bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near your stomach. It had to be near your stomach. You've been reasonably hungry until you've noticed the date and the pit opened. Your hunger had fallen into it, and the memories and pain rose out of it.

There was a time when this day had been wonderful. Life had been wonderful, you didn't need Valentine's Day, but you celebrated it with reverence and, sometimes, wild abandon.

You knew what love was, what it felt like to love a man and how it felt to lose him. You remembered what he'd said that last morning, how he'd kissed you; how the sun had lit his face as he smiled, promising he'd be back. You also remembered the police, how the sun seemed to dim as they told you the phrases out of courtesy. They were sorry for your loss. They will let you know of details as soon as the investigation on the accident comes to an end.

Since that time, Valentine's Day had passed unheralded, unheeded and uncelebrated. You knew you were a joke of the office - entering thirties soon and never been fucked, that's what they said. The borning woman who had no idea what fun was, wouldn't have known what to do with a man if by some miracle you did catch the attention of one. They were wrong, of course. Not that it was any of their business; it certainly didn't affect your ability to do your job.

If you chose to act and dress your age and spend your evenings quietly, rather than as mutton dressed as lamb in some gaudy nightclub, surely that was your right?

You sighed again, getting up from the table, taking your cereal bowl and dumping the gloop down the sink. A bleak day of petty jibes and pitying looks lay ahead. At least you knew what to expect this year.

Last year had been your first Valentine's Day with this particular company and, therefore, your first with this particular bunch of malicious people - your fellow employees. As front counter receptionist, you were the company's first "public face" and some of your co-workers had decided it didn't look good if that face wasn't surrounded by gifts from admirers on this day.

When the first bunch of anonymous flowers had arrived, you've been flustered, flattered and flabbergasted that anyone would send you flowers. You had hurriedly cleared a space on the counter for them, proudly displaying them, fussing with them to show them off at their best and make them visible from the greatest distance. You kept touching them, moving them slightly, reaffirming they were really there. Your heart sang; someone had noticed you. Maybe he was too shy to reveal himself; maybe he was married and couldn't: your mind was alive with questions, trying to solve the mystery of their origin. You were all in all happy.

Then a large box of chocolates arrived, closely followed by more flowers. By lunchtime, these had been joined by a little plush cherub, two red plush love hearts, a pair of earrings, three more bunches of flowers, four assorted boxes of chocolates and a large jar of candy hearts. They all carried the same anonymous message. And you knew then and there what is the catch behind this.

By the end of the day there were nine flower arrangements, ten boxes of chocolates, three cherubs, the two red love hearts, three teddy bears, two jars of candy, the earrings and a gift box containing four pairs of edible undies. Just before the close of business the final humiliation came - a fantastically wrapped see through box containing an inflatable male doll with vibrating tongue, a massive purple vibrating dildo and a copy of the Sex for The Beginners book.

You had to stay at your post until the last visitor or client left. But the rest of the staff was already heading out of the building. Some boggled at your desk, some snickered, a couple made loud crass comments and a very few had appeared horrified at the pile of stuff surrounding yourself. The building had almost emptied before that last visitor departed. You were sure that, too, was a set-up, particularly when you saw it was the client that had been visiting quite frequently lately.

Myungsoo ushered the man to the street and turned back to you as you gathered your coat and handbag, ready to escape.

"Gee, you're a popular girl. Who would have thought?" He reached your counter and began collecting up the flowers, grinning madly. "Let me help you with all that."

Before you could say a word, he bundled all the flowers, chocolates and assorted other items into your arms. You could barely see where you were going. Myungsoo put his arm around your back and shepherded you out the door, peeking at the vibrator in its transparent box. "There you go, sweetheart. Looks like you're definitely gonna get some action tonight." He turned smartly away, laughing as he rapidly put distance between the two of you.

You obviously had thrown the whole lot in the nearest dumpster and hurried to the relative sanctuary of your car before breaking down and sobbing, burying your head in your hands to hide from prying eyes of curious passer-bys.

Standing at your kitchen sink, you wondered what they'd pull this year. It couldn't be worse, could it? You sighed again and then abruptly shook your head, standing straighter. To hell with it - you were not going to let them get to you today.

It had already begun when you arrived. A bouquet of irises sat at the front of the counter. You were tempted to throw them straight in the garbage, but decided they were too pretty, too unusual. So they stayed. Curiosity got the better of you as you looked at the card, expecting it to say something sappy and insincere, as last year's cards had.

"You are worth far more than they will ever realise. Hear the flowers."

You pondered the card. Hear the flowers?

What on earth did that mean? You raised an eyebrow as you settled into your post: at least it seemed this year would be more intriguing than last. During quiet moments throughout the morning, you'd pick up the card, reread the cryptic message and study the beautiful bouquet, but its secret was never revealed.

No gifts arrived for you, no more flowers. You were relieved, but it only served to deepen the mystery of the flowers. As your lunch hour approached, other staff began filtering out of their offices to take a break. They all noticed the irises. Several of the women stopped and commented on their beauty. No one laughed.

As always, you left the building for lunch. You would usually grab a sandwich somewhere and do a bit of window shopping. Anything to get away for an hour - if you stayed in the office, someone always "needed" you for something.

When you returned, a neatly typed page was on your desk: "The meaning of flowers". One line was highlighted in blue: "Iris: Have Faith. Don't Give Up On Hope." A single purple violet was pinned to the page. You scanned the page to find "Violet (Purple): You occupy my thoughts". You put the page to one side, but still in view, unsure whether to laugh at it and throw it along with the flowers away before the punch line or wait it out. This was definitely a far more sophisticated assault than last year.

Throughout the afternoon a steady procession of couriers arrived, carrying flowers and gifts. You nervously watched each one approach your counter, only to breathe a sigh of relief as the teddy bears and hearts, the chocolates and flowers were all destined for other souls.

At 4:30PM a man approached your station: nothing unusual in that; everyone that came to see someone had to check in with you. What was unusual was that he actually saw you as a fellow human, not a robot programmed to take names and give directions. He smiled at you, a real smile that reached his eyes and warmed your heart. Something familiar in his eyes...

"Good afternoon. My name is Kim Doyoung. I have an appointment to speak to Choi Myungsoo. Would you mind letting him know I am here, please?"

Quickly, you dialled Myungsoo's extension, giving him the information. Myungsoo, as usual was brusque to the point of rude, telling you to "entertain the idiot 'till I'm ready for him - he's not supposed to be here for another 15 minutes".

You were tempted to tell the polite gentleman exactly what Myungsoo had said, but instead used your tact and diplomacy (that was why you were hired after all) to tell him that "Mr. Choi is a little delayed. He will be available in a few minutes."

With that being said, you offered him a seat.

Again he smiled. "Those are beautiful flowers," he said, nodding towards the iris bouquet. "A discerning choice for a lovely lady."

You lowered your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your face, knowing you were blushing.

His voice softened and became much quieter. "You don't remember me, do you?" Your eyes flew to his face, confused. Were you supposed to know this charming man?

"I had an appointment here at the same time, on this day last year. I was waiting outside for a taxi when you left. That was uncalled for, the whole situation that happened - mean and heartless and exactly what I would expect of Myungsoo and his friends. I deal with them only because I must. They offer a service unparalleled in this town."

He leaned across the counter, his voice so low only you could hear. "How they manage it, I cannot tell. They are pig swill and don't know a pearl when confronted with one." Doyoung paused, seeming to weigh up his next statement, then leaned closer to you. "Did you hear the flowers?"

Your eyes again flew to his face, your mouth falling open a little. "You sent them?"

"I did. And the violet. I had hoped to counter whatever crass display they had planned this year. Would you possibly consider spending the evening with me?" His face was eager, hopeful. "A nice dinner?"

You were stunned, flattered, amazed - but also wary. This was Myungsoo's client. He could easily have been put up to this. You studied his face closely, seeking any hint of a lurking cad. His face fell. "But, of course, you have other plans. I apologise for embarrassing you." He moved away and sat, abashed, on one of the hideous lounge chairs to await his appointment.

You studied this man. He didn't seem to fit the mould of Myungsoo's usual cohorts. For one thing he was unerringly polite. He was also good looking, very, very good looking, without being outstanding or flashy. He was also much closer to your age than Myungsoo's and had an air of quiet confidence, like he had nothing to prove to anyone and nothing to fear from them either. You looked at the flowers. Could Myungsoo have possibly thought of something this elegant? You didn't think so. You took a deep breath: to hell with it.

"Mr. Kim?" He looked up. "What time would you like to pick me up?"

In your bedroom, staring at the clothes hanging limply in your closet, the cool bravado that had claimed you as you agreed to the date vanished. In its place indecision, doubt and outright terror took hold. It seemed painfully obvious to you now, away from the office and that lovely man, that it was all another twisted joke, something for the office beautiful people to laugh at during tomorrow's coffee breaks. Why did you say yes? Your wardrobe was woefully inadequate. It was years since you'd been out with a man; you were bound to make a fool of yourself, even if it wasn't a set-up.

At that thought your heart jumped and lurched. The possibility that Mr. Kim - no, Doyoung; this was a date not a business appointment - was sincere in his wish to take you out only heightened your confusion and indecision.

Finally, in desperation and the realisation that if you didn't decide soon, you'd still be in your underwear when he arrived; you chose a chanel-knee length cremé skirt and baby pink cashmere sweater, topped off with knee length boots. The heels were quite high, but you remembered him being tall, so that wouldn't be an issue, as long as you didn't fall over in them.

You were saved from an overcritical examination in the mirror. You had just completed applying your makeup when Doyoung arrived. You grabbed your coat and quickly walked out the door, before you had time to rethink and back out.

"You look lovely," Doyoung said, smiling down at you. Feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks; you weren't used to receiving compliments, particularly from someone like him. You mumbled a shy thanks as he helped you put on your coat and led you to his car.

Sitting in the car as he drove, you were able to study the mysterious man that is Kim Doyoung. He was extremely handsome, not in the classical sense, but he certainly was far from a plain looking man - a man at peace with himself. He knew who he was and was content with that; he knew what he wanted and how to get it; and what was beyond his capabilities and lost no sleep over it. He obviously managed quite well; his car was expensive but not too flashy.

The restaurant he took you too was a quiet small place, away from the standard eat-and-entertain strip. It was intimate without claustrophobia; the decor was elegant without being overbearing; the lighting low but not dim; the service attentive without being intrusive. The food you could not describe - later, you barely remembered what you had eaten beyond it being "nice" - your attention was totally taken by Doyoung.

He was gallant and charming; helping you with your coat and holding your chair for you at the intimate table for two tucked away in a corner. Doyoung quietly suggested items on the menu he thought you might like. It was obvious he'd been here before, was a regular, but usually without company. His choice of wine was perfect to go with the excellent food as you enjoyed each other's company.

And you talked.

You learned a lot about him. Doyoung was 34, older than you had thought; he had been engaged, but his fiancé decided to break off the engagement for simply falling out of love. He had had a series of short term relationships that had petered out and, for the past several years, had lived a solitary life, rarely going out with women. He didn't work as such; his livelihood came from investments, which explained him being a client of the company you worked in. Myungsoo may be a jerk, but he was the one of the best investment brokers around.

He had been attracted to you the first time he met you, a year ago, but had been intimidated by the evidence of all your admirers. When he realised it was all a cruel joke played by his adviser and the other brokers, he was mortified. He had seriously considered changing brokers, going to another organisation but that would have meant he had no chance of meeting you again. So he stayed. He had been in your office on three occasions since then, and each time had seen your quiet, unflappable charm and how your talent and lovely nature were either ignored or taken for granted by those around you. He was determined to gain your attention, but without the office cricus freaks being able to use it against you, hence the mystery flower delivery this morning.

You found yourself opening up to Doyoung. He seemed sincerely interested in hearing what you had to say, hanging on your every word. It was a liberating and wonderfully powerful feeling. You weren't used to being the centre of anyone's attention. You told him of your pride at the independence since the loss of your lover, all those years ago. You were happy in your little home, content with your work, rarely coming to the attention of the office jokers.

It was over coffee that you admitted to Doyoung something you haven't admitted to yourself: your life was lonely and you missed the affection of another person. You missed the companionship of sharing your life with someone.

Immediately after the words had left your lips you regretted them. You have given away too much of yourself, been too forward. You lowered your eyes, not wanting to see the closed expression you knew would be on his face, so you didn't see the fleeting look of pain, quickly followed by understanding and hope.

However, you did feel his hand close over yours and squeeze lightly. You looked up into a face of gentle eyes and soft smile. "Would you like to take a walk with me," he said quietly. "I think it's time we leave - they want to close the restaurant anyway."

You looked around yourself noticing that you two were the only people other than staff left in the restaurant, and many of the lights were dimmed. You gasped in wonder - you had no idea you've been there so long. "Yes, a walk would be lovely."

Doyoung ushered you along the street and across a small, neat park to a promenade along the riverbank. It was enough lit to feel safe and you walked along arm in arm. You felt his arm snake around your waist hugging you closer to him, and you snuggled against him, your arm around his back. The moon was up, the stars were out and the night was peaceful and clear.

Your heart was singing and your eyes sparkled. You've been right to take this gamble. He was sincere, and it was wonderful. But the night was late, and it was rather cold.

You shivered. Doyoung felt it immediately and turned off the promenade proposing to head back toward the street where he had left the car. "I'd better take you home. It wouldn't be much of a date if you ended up ill."

At your door, Doyoung formally thanked you for a lovely evening and asked if he could see you again. You smiled and surprised yourself only a little by reaching up and kissing him lightly on the lips before saying: "Would you like to come in for a nightcap?"

Doyoung blinked, looking mildly bemused for a moment before studying your face. "Are you sure?"

Oh, most definitely, you were sure. You have thought of nothing else since you two have left the river. He looked right, he felt right, and he smelt right. You wanted him but was sure he'd never make a move. He was too much of a gentleman to ever force the issue.

You took his hand and led him into your home, kicking the door closed with your foot, shutting out the rest of the world with its mean people and ugly attitudes. You reached up to kiss him again. This time he lowered his head to yours, cradling your face in his hands as he returned the kiss. The lips met and parted, allowing the tongues to join and caress each other. His hands moved down from your face to caress your body, yours moving up from his hips. Both of you parted, searching each other's faces for confirmation of your desires.

"I think we're on the same page," you said. "Why don't you leave your coat on the couch? Do you want the nightcap now, or after the tour?"

"I'll put a hold on the nightcap," Doyoung answered, reading the desire in your eyes and knowing it was mirrored in his while stripping off the coat.

"Right."

You took his hand again. "This is the lounge. There," you pointed to the right, "is the kitchen and dining room. This way," pulling him down the hall, "is the second bedroom, the bathroom and," dragging him through a doorway, "here is the main bedroom."

"Very nice," he said, looking around, trying not to focus on the bed.

Suddenly shy, you both looked at anything but each other, awkward in a lack of intimate knowledge of each other. Doyoung tentatively reached out a hand to you, aiming to caress your breast, veering off at the last moment to your shoulder, but still lightly brushing your breast with his fingertips. Your gasped breath emboldened him and he reached his other hand, caressing your other breast lightly as you shivered under his touch and sighed.

Your own hands went to his chest, running down the front of his shirt and back up, then beginning to undo the buttons, pulling the shirt from his trousers and teasing his bare skin with your fingers.

Doyoung pulled his shirt off and then raised the sweater over your head and off the arms, moving in to kiss you as his hands went around your back to undo the clasps of a bra and returned to cup your breasts. The sensation on your breasts as he caressed and pinched the nipples sent a sharp message straight between your legs. You could feel yourself becoming moist and shuddered under his touch; breath becoming uneven.

Pushing him away you removed the skirt, letting it pool at your feet while looking into his eyes. Doyoung took the hint and began unbuckling his belt, then grinned foolishly and sat beside you to take off his socks, sneaking kisses of your neck and shoulders as he did so. You both stood again, slightly apart. He dropped his trousers and you could see his briefs pushed out of shape by his erection, the fabric straining.

Doyoung stepped up, taking you in his arms, kissing down your neck and across the collarbone, his hands lowering to your hips, sliding under the elastic and beginning to tug your panties down. Your own hands flew to the top of his briefs. Together, you pulled down the underwear, stepping out of them and standing naked before each other. Again Doyoung moved first, holding you and gently pushing backwards onto the bed, following after you onto it.

He ran one hand down the body of yours, teasing and tickling the beginning of your womanhood and beyond, teasing you with his fingers, tickling across your mound and easing around your damp centre. You moaned as he explored, your hips twisting and twitching. It had been so long since another man had touched you there. It felt amazing, wonderful, but achingly short of what you needed. You could feel his hardness against your thigh. Reaching down, you took his cock into your hand. It was hot, hard and pulsed under your touch. Doyoung groaned and his hips jerked convulsively. You kissed him hard and whispered fiercely, "Please, it's been too long. I need you, now."

"For me too, far too long," Doyoung gasped back, rolling you onto your back and positioning himself before gently splitting your lips and sliding steadily but firmly into you. Your moans were prominent in the air as he stretched and filled you right, not stopping his steady thrust until he was wholly inside you, your warm walls gripping him tightly. Your eyes met and locked as you lay still, immersed in the feeling of each other's body.

Being warm, wet and a safe haven, you were engulfing his cock. Doyoung was filling you with his hard heat, owning your body completely. You fit each other perfectly; you could see it in each other's eyes. You belonged together.

As great as this feeling was, you needed more. Doyoung slowly withdrew, till only the very tip split you. Both groaning as he pushed back in, again slowly feeling each other with delectable inch. Slowly in and out, in and out, revelling in the feeling of each other's bodies, gradually building up speed as your need increased.

You could feel the fire building, the tension increasing as sensation on sensation smashed into you with each thrust, your body twitching, your hips writhing. Still it built; higher, tighter, fiercer. Your entire being was wrapped around Doyoung's cock as it pumped in and out of you. You could hear him grunting with each thrust, feel his body trembling as he got closer to his climax. His speed increased and you breath got caught in your throat, your back arched, legs went stiff as you began to twitch when the white light exploded through you, spreading warmth and scattering your senses.

You felt, from far away but deep within you, Doyoung losing his rhythm before coming, pumping wildly into you, grunting and thrusting hard one last time as he shot deep inside you feeling spent but overly fulfilled.

Your hand was making lazy circles on Doyoung's chest as you lay, curled against his side with a head on his shoulder. You weren't sure how you've come to be in this position, but it felt so right and he smelled so good.

You were at peace while drifting off to sleep.

Waking up without feeling body by your side, you immediately felt the loss. Doyoung wasn't there. Your heart dropped, the pit near your stomach threatened to open and engulf it. Sensing the tears coming up, you accidentally feel something on your side with a hand.

He wasn't there. But there was a note.

"I am so sorry. I hate to leave you, knowing you will wake alone. There is something I must do."

You had just finished reading when the phone rang, disturbing your thoughts. Grudgingly, you moved to answer it. "Hello."

"Wish I was still beside you."

Your heart flipped again. The pit dissolved so you could breathe again before whispering, "Doyoung."

"Y/N. Tell me, what are you planning for breakfast?"

"Uhm. Coffee? Maybe some toast. Why?"

"Don't move. I'm on my way. With breakfast. And it's better than toast."

You lay back in bed, listening to the dial tone after he hung up. Surprised, you smile softly. You must remember to thank Myungsoo for introducing them.

If this is how you will feel loved and feel free to love again, you have no complaints.

Your new chapter is about to begin and hopefully, it will last for a very long time with a man named Kim Doyoung.

#one shot #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct fanfiction #doyoung #kim doyoung #doyoung x reader #doyoung scenarios #doyoung fanfic #doyoung smut #romance #nct romance #nct angst #nct 127 #nct u #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 fanfic

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

Note

You haven't read the manga?..... If you only read the cherry picked levihan moments then let me tell you (not sending this with ill intend btw) that for every small Levihan moment there's a big eruri one. Like that convo where he shuts hange out after it was said about her crush on shadis? Levi actually talks afterwards about how he wants Hange to take over the rots mission and for Erwin to stay tucked in safe.

When Hange was hurt during the uprising the moment he sees Erwin he's just nonchalant about? And yes she said she was okay and he was mad about her being hurt in the first place, but the looks he gives erwin not only this moment but throughout? Not really platonic tbh...

Or the falling debris scene where he seems distracted? Yes he's thinking about hange's safety but the worried look is at Erwin's direction on the wall.

And also in chuugaku, there's a chapter about Erwin and Levi's relationship, exposition provided by Hange herself, where it's pretty much implied that Levi has the hots for him (complete with a bottom levi joke). Like he's the only member of the "home-making" club headed by Erwin where he basically cleans and cooks for him while erwin reads his paper like they're a couple and they've put marks like: don't search eruri on tumblr/ao3 haha.

Point is while levihan is a ship that's MAYBE canon, there's a lot more concrete evidence for eruri. The only thing that throws it off is there's no discussion about Erwin's feelings nowhere that could be interpreted as romantic. And combine that with his crush for dok's wife back in the day maybe he wasn't into Levi the same way/ maybe bi, we'll never know.

But Levi legit was in love with him.

What strengthens levihan on the other hand is that hange is transparent about her feelings for Levi. And if you take the last chapters into consideration then levi could have reciprocated them. It wasnt framed as clear as his feelings for Erwin though imo.

I'm not against either ship and think they're both precious, but levihan is a lot harder to read into and it makes me sad their romantic relationship wasn't more developed if romance was what Isayama hinted yo towards the end. Maybe yams left levihan up to interpretation deliberately? Maybe we read too much into it and it's not really there? Maybe eruri was queerbaiting? Maybe both are canon and Levi's just swings both ways? Idk the answers to any of that and unless the author comes clean we'll never be sure about levihan a hundred percent. Less doubts about eruri though...

Anyways, no hard feelings and I really LOVE your fanfics! Hope you have a very nice day and continue writing!

I have been looking for the right time to go through this ask because this ask just kinda made me think but not like about anything against the eruri ship. Like go ahead, ship eruri and feel free to meta eruri in my anon inbox but like the arguments here are a bit wishy washy.

Like that convo where he shuts hange out after it was said about her crush on shadis? Levi actually talks afterwards about how he wants Hange to take over the rots mission and for Erwin to stay tucked in safe.

Well, of course he would ask Erwin to stay tucked safe. Erwin is literally missing one arm and Hange was the most competent person to lead in the field at that point in time. How is this related to romance? I mean, if you wanna play the romance game, remember that Levi was legit injured, he could barely stand and he still forced himself to stand up to talk to Hange.

Levi literaly gave the most poker 'pokerface' in this scene and I do not understand how it could be seen as not platonic. If we're talking about non platonic looks then maybe we should look for a scene where Levi's biting his lip seductively because let's face it, all the looks Levi gave Erwin, Hange and Petra could all be interpreted as platonic, we're all just a bunch of shippers trying to find the romance and the canonicity for our favorite ship lmao.

Or the falling debris scene where he seems distracted? Yes he's thinking about hange's safety but the worried look is at Erwin's direction on the wall.

Yeah, because people like to stare at someone else while worrying about a particular someone's safety. I dunno but what if Levi was worried about both of them? Why do we have to blatantly disregard the fact that he explicitly mentioned 'Hange' in that scene and shoehorn Erwin's position in that scene.

Levi is literally an implied minor in chuugakkou and Erwin is a teacher. Nothing else needs to be said.

But Levi legit was in love with him.

The flawed evidence above will only make for a flawed conclusion.

As someone who has watched the show and read the manga and discussed this with people, none of my casual watcher friends even noticed Eruri crumbs. A lot of them didn't notice Levihan crumbs either so hey, we both lose here I guess.

My personal take on this and the takes of a lot of casual watchers I have talked to is, Levihan has more crumbs than Eruri but maybe it only got development given the circumstances post season 3 since Levi and Hange were working closely together. If Erwin didn't die, maybe there could have been more Eruri moments. I haven't seen enough though and I cannot so hastily conclude that Levi was in love with Erwin.

Levi could have in love with both of them. Or just one of them.

And yeah, maybe Levihans are reading too much into it. But so what if we read too much into it?

I like them. I will continued reading too much into relationships which I believe could have been healthy and could have had a great dynamic if they pushed through as something romantic.

The point of getting into a relationship is for two people to come out of it better people and I will continue to ship a couple which I think is sending a good message to others regardless of whether or not it was framed clearly enough for people to see the 'romance.'

'Living together' with someone may not be as clear as sex or a kiss for a lot of people but I think it runs MUCH MUCH MUCH deeper. Sex and kisses are a dime a dozen. Commitment and Cooperation are diamonds.

#levihan

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Breathing In

Sequel to: “In Too Deep”

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Cheating (Past), Mentions of toxic relationships

Genre: Romance, Angst

Summary: It’s not just about leaving a person behind, it’s about leaving behind what feels to be a separate world, one you want to detach from yet you still want to hold onto for the twisted comfort it gives you, the familiarity of it all. But then again, you’ve been drowning in the deep too long to still want to hold on, and all you want is to swim up to the surface and breathe in.

Requested by the lovely readers who showed the first fic “In Too Deep” so much love and support. I’m so glad to be writing a sequel for this piece because I enjoyed writing it so much! I love the storyline and I can’t express how grateful I am the Anon who sent in the request for it in the first place. Love you all, Vy ❤

A romantic relationship should never be a responsibility. A person should never be another person’s responsibility. One cannot be a pillar and stand strong while the other is falling apart, leaning on them and depending on them for everything in their life. That’s not love, it’s hell. It’s a job you get paid for with nothing but exhaustion, pain and emptiness. Your mind’s constantly flooded by images of all those times you could’ve experienced had those ‘what if’s happened.

What if she didn’t turn up to class late that day? What if she didn’t need anyone to distract the professor for her to get in the classroom undetected? What if when Kaylor asked for sex as a repayment she refused and slapped him across the face?

Well, things would be different. She wouldn’t be living like this, that’s for sure. She’d be working her ass off, just like she’s wanted to all her life. Coming from a family of drunks and bums, she’s always wanted to prove her worth, not to others but to herself. To prove that ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’ doesn’t always apply. She’s always been terrified of that saying, never wanting to become like her parents and older siblings. Never wanting to become like Kaylor who started off as her acquaintance, proceeded to become a guy she regularly hooked up with and then became her boyfriend. And then, the worst decision among all she’s ever made, she allowed him to slip that ring onto her finger and a few months later exchange vows with her in front of an altar. Had her phone not died the night prior to meeting him, none of this would’ve happened. She’d have several normal jobs instead of one barely-paying one and one she didn’t know she ever even signed up for - taking care of Kaylor.

She’s been drowning in the deep for so long, she can barely remember. Long enough to forget how breathing in feels.

However, she’s not the only one.

He has his own fulfilled ‘what if’s as well: what if he hadn’t left his apartment that night? What if he had stopped after the second beer like he originally intended to? What if he didn’t choose exactly that night to socialize with the stranger who sat down on the bar stool next to him. What if he simply paid for his drinks and left?

But he didn’t, he didn’t do any of that. Didn’t manage to preserve himself, didn’t manage to keep it in his pants or hide the lust in his eyes. Still, the hook-up on its own wouldn’t have been so horrible had it not led to what it did afterwards. Had it not led to a relationship with one very fragile girl. A girl much like him, too much like him. Constantly insecure, fearful, paranoid, dependent, distrusting. A girl always in need of a firm grip on her hand and an external voice telling her it would all be alright because her internal voice is never optimistic. Her own mind doesn’t like her, she can barely stand it, and he got caught in that crossfire.

He can’t really picture what he would be doing with his life if it wasn’t for Ida, he’s that sucked in. He’s that deep into this mess. It’s not water he’s drowning in, it’s quicksand, the type that’s taken form with his regret and self-hatred as a base. Breathing in would result in sand-filled lungs but at this point his only wish is to breathe in, no matter the consequences. After all, if it doesn’t save him it’ll kill him and he can live with that.

Still, it hasn’t all been dark for our broken lovers. There are several ‘what if’s Corpse and Y/N don’t ever wanna imagine or know the outcome of. Such as, for example: What if the two of them never met? What if they didn’t strike up the relationship question? What if they didn’t share that kiss in that parking lot that night. That single contact between their lips was the only thing they didn’t regret that night. What they regret the most, however, is walking away from one another, spiraling their situation out of control, turning it into a twisted, sticky spiderweb, laced with the sin of cheating on a significant other.

If it were as simple as people make it out to be - break up with the other person instead of cheating - they would’ve done it so long ago. They would’ve been far from here. Very far from this fucking place and these fucking problems had they been the ones holding the leash of their fate rather than let the current of events manipulate them.

Maybe they’re a little late with the grasp of this realization, but that’s not what matters. What’s important is the here and now, the events that are about to occur or not occur. The actions that will or won’t be taken. Y/N and Corpse have been a will they/won’t they pair from the very start, always leaning more towards won’t because of how impossible it all felt. How hopeless the spiraling hell they were in made them feel.

But now the tables have turned.

Corpse was the first to leave his hell-cell. He did so by cutting things off with Ida a week ago. He did so rather gently and caringly, promising he’s always a phone call away whenever she needs him. It took a lot of preparation and guts he didn’t have but had to develop in order to execute such a delicate operation and make it a successful one. The response he got from her was rather surprising.

“I was hoping you’d call it off.“ She said with a small smile, shocking him to the point of letting out a small gasp, “I mean, you know me, I could’ve never done it. But I hated what I was doing to you and I hated myself even more for not being able to stop and...“ she trailed off, her lips pressing in a thin line, eyes glistening with tears, “...I’m so glad you did it. You’re saving both of us, trust me.“

As he was packing his stuff, he overheard Ida’s phone call with her parents, telling them she wanted to move back in with them for a little while but refused to answer any further questions, at least not over the phone. That was the biggest relief, a whole-ass boulder lifted off him, allowing him to finally breathe in. But he wasn’t breathing in at full lung capacity, he still isn’t even no as he stands outside a gas station, leaning on the side of his car which is loaded with all his belongings which he doesn’t have many of, thankfully. He’s waiting for her - the half of this relationship that’s still swaying between will it/won’t it. Corpse is all will, all in, ready for a new, fresh start, ready to be able to breathe the air of the real world, feel the breeze of a real life finally. Whereas Y/N is not as certain, not as prepared and a lot more emotionally attached. It’s understandable, she’s leaving behind a husband, not just a boyfriend.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Corpse. I won’t be able to live if something happens to him. I’ll forever feel guilty, I’ll hate myself forever. You gotta understand.“ She told him the same night him and Ida had their break-up. He called her, telling her he had some big news to share. His excitement was quickly shot down when she gave him this response, eyes glossy with sorrowful tears.

He understood.

She asked for time. He gave it to her.

He gave her an ultimatum. She gave dubious agreement.

The ultimatum? : meet him at this gas station, with her belongings, right at sunset, prepared for the adventure filled with struggles, the whole experience of starting new.

And so he waits, watching as the sun goes lower and lower, leaving the scene to be taken over by the moon and now dark and starry sky - just like his hopefulness is stepping aside for his depression and dread to take over.

She’s not here. She hasn’t tried to reach out to tell him anything. Even a rejection would’ve been better than to let him wait here, his heart breaking a bit more with each passing minute. All this time he’s been trying to convince himself he’ll move on without her if she doesn’t show up. He’ll skip town like the two of them planned to do together. He��ll leave and leave it all behind, Y/N included. But now, looking from this standpoint, being barely a minute away from having to put his foot down on the gas pedal and drive out of the city, pass the sign that’ll tell him he’s passed the threshold, he finds it brings him almost physical pain.

He’s not sure he can do it.

With a heavy sigh he spares the horizon one final glance to see there are only faint traces of the sun he was observing just minutes prior, the final reminder that he has to go now, has to stay true to himself and respect the ultimatum he posed, no matter how much it hurts emotionally, mentally or physically.

Just as he’s about to enter his car, he hears what sounds to be footsteps, but before he can even look up to check where they’re coming from a loud, cheery yell startles him.

“HEY! Look what I got!“ He’d recognize that voice anywhere and no matter what words it says, it’ll always grab his full attention just like it did just now.

Corpse whirls around to face the direction of the voice to see her, Y/N beaming at him brighter than the sun he just watched set. Over one shoulder she has a duffel bag and in the opposite arm she’s dragging a suitcase and if that isn’t confirmation enough, in her free hand she proudly wields what looks to be a document. When she gets closer, his eyes widen at the realization of what she’s holding - divorce papers.

“H-how?“ He stutters in disbelief, his jaw hanging, his heart beating like crazy, his eyes brimming with tears of joy that’s just exploded throughout his chest like a firework.

She rolls her eyes, dropping the papers, suitcase and duffel bag in the dust, “You talk too much.“ With that, she rushes over to him, throwing her arms and legs around him, her head nuzzled in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

Breathing in, they’re both breathing in, with full lung capacity at that - something they never thought they’d have the chance to do, but here they are. Here they stand, shamelessly in each other’s tight , loving embrace that they never want to have to let go of again, afraid of the wrong eyes seeing it.

They are finally free, finally out of the deep end and back to being afloat, floating towards the nearest island to make it their own. And on that note...

“Let’s get out of here.“ Y/N whispers in Corpse’s ear, her fingers tightening the hold of his shirt at his shoulder blades.

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

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captainstarkky · 3 years

Photo

It's five-thirty in the afternoon, it's sweltering for a hot summer afternoon, and I'm probably high on coke. I sighed, my hands trembling as I turn from left to right checking on if there are other people in the vicinity. I exhaled and looked at the envelope in my hand. It was a love letter.

Yes. Right now, I am standing next to his locker and in my hand was the love letter. I've thought about this a million of times and simulated this day a thousand of times in my head - I cannot fail. To be honest, I don't have any idea how to relay my feelings to him. I've been crushing on this guy for my whole high school years - and now that I've come to my last year, I just hope for a chance of love. Plus, I honestly don't want to spend my whole life regretting this chance for a high school romance – like a normal student dreams of. Although for a shy girl like me, that dream could easily stay as a dream if I don't make my move. The reason exactly why I'm here.

I'm pretty sure I am not his type though. He is the school's heartthrob - but for all the negative reasons. Together with that title was a notoriety of his shenanigans. He is also the school's greatest playboy - bedding every woman in the school whether they be seniors or juniors, mention it. He's the kind of guy who would have sex anywhere he pleases - his favorite place? The school. Obviously, I do not meet his criteria. I'm not hot and I'm not from the cheerleading team. I'm basically underdeveloped - almost flat breasts, glasses, basically the nerdy, unattractive type. I sighed. It always hurts to insult your own self.

I took a deep breath and finally psyched myself as I move my hand to the small space in his locker, dropping the letter inside his locker and quickly running away.

It was the boldest move I've ever made in my entire life. I've swallowed every ounce of pride I have, and I would probably be very embarrassed if someone saw me. I don't want to be the topic of gossips the day after. I'm a hopeless romantic who believes in medieval ways of courtship but even so, I want that to stay in myself. Further, he was my first crush and this is the first time I tried this technique. There's a high chance that I would be banging my head by the wall because of the consequence of this action later, but never will I regret the fact that I did. At least, once in my life I tried something bold.

It has been days and I'm still on edge, vigilant of the rumours and observant to other students' actions. He is dead popular and everyone knows who he is; even if it's as early as seven in the morning, the girls' topic is always him - that would be the same in the entire day. And honestly, after a week, the only news about him was the fact that he was having sex with different girl everyday of the previous week in five different places in school - one is in the lockers. I sighed, shaking my head. 'He probably missed to read my letter.' I flipped the pages of the book I'm reading, and sighed. 'Or worse, he probably threw it away.' I nodded my head. Of course, if he wanted to, he could get anyone. He probably won't want me. I said, this time, completely slumping myself in the book I was reading - 'Man, I spent the whole night writing that.'

"Jane. Can you please talk to the clinic and ask her some meds for dysmenorrhea?" I sprung out from my position when the homeroom teacher called and asked.

"You should take a break." I walked and told her before going my way.

I was on my way to the nurse's office. The nurse's office is actually a bit far from our classroom, but if you take a shortcut, then it's possible to arrive earlier. I took a detour near the comfort rooms to the AV room. I planned to use the stairs next to it. However, as I was approaching the AV room, I was abruptly stopped by weird noises. I followed the voice and realized that it was from the AV room. I leaned closer the door and the moaning intensified.

I unknowingly hid at the back of the room, in the stairs and covered my mouth with my hand. I leaned in the cold wall as I heard what these guys were doing. I felt my heart getting wrenched into million of pieces.

"Thanks for the time, Yeollie." I was brought back to reality when I heard someone say. I unconsciously leaned close, my ear on the wall and eavesdropped. Even if I did not listen any further, I already know was the guy. I frowned and dropped my shoulders as I sigh. This is him. The real him. I thought, the pain in my heart creeping into my soul, sucking my strength and resolve away. I just confirmed it myself. He did not read the letter.

"So? How was that letter sender?" I felt a shudder, my hackles rising. I felt my knees trembled as I hanged around the place. Letter? I pursed my lips, biting my lower lip harder that I should've. 'It should probably be mine.'

Quickly, while I still have the strength to, I left the scene. The fact that he got the letter is enough for me, whether he read it or not, it's not my problem - the most important thing is that he got it. Also, I do not want to hear what he has to say about that letter. If he did throw it away, it's fine. If he read it, it's fine. Because even though he read or he didn't bother to, I'd still feel the same way – even though he's a jerk, my feelings will never change or whatever. A tear rolled down my cheek finally leaving the scene.

I went straight to the nurse's office, fixed myself, and came back with the medicine the teacher asked me to fetch. This time, I decided to take the 'long cut'. First, because I want to think about things. And second, passing by the AV Room would warrant me to recall everything that I heard.

I was walking in a silent corridor; students were studying in their respective classrooms when I heard someone call. "Hey." I heard a voice from the stairs going to the third floor. It was a loud call. Good thing the classrooms are often closed-doors and are semi-soundproof. It felt like I turned in a slow-motion because I already know who the owner of the voice was.

"I figured that you'd use this way." He said as he walks down the stairs.

"Chanyeol." I muttered under my breath as I hold it off, seeing him walk to my direction.

"Come with me?" he said, his eyes persuading her soft heart.

I took a deep sigh, forcing myself not to look at Chanyeol, clenching my fist as I tremble on my feet. "I'm ... I'm busy." I lied, taking a step back. As much as possible, I want to keep a distance. I might hurt myself if I don't.

"I insist." then he took a big step and grabbed my wrist leading me to the greenhouse of the school, with him holding my hand the whole time.

It was so silent and we're alone. His back was facing me, and I could clearly see the lipstick marks of the collar probably from the girl in the AV room. "Just for you to know, I didn't invite you here to have sex or whatever." He said with humour in his voice – probably to clear out the atmosphere, knowing his deeds.

I held my breath, "I'm ... I'm not thinking that way." I said, gripping the medicine inside my pockets.

"I brought you here to talk." he said, finally turning to my direction. His jolly expression now changed into a stoic one - a more serious expression.

"Talk about what?" I asked.

"Talk about things." he sighed, before beaming straight at me. His eyes meeting mine, causing my heartbeat to abnormally beat a bit out of tune. "Probably about us?"

"W...What do you mean?" I stammered. Although I already know what he was implying. This is about the confession I wrote in the letter. But I thought he threw it away?

He shrugged, seeing through my ruse. "I've read your letter." His serious expression now replaced with a smile – the smile that captured my heart ever since.

I inadvertly looked away, is it because of shame? Am I embarrassed? "I ... I don't know what to say." I said, still stammering.

"You don't have to say anything." He smiled, sighing in relief.

"I ... I don't particularly understand you ..." I said, confused with his reaction. He looked happy but at the same time ... not. "But about the letter ..."

"I don't understand myself either." he shrugged, giving him a slight smile. "And about the letter ..."

"You see ..." I said, accidentally cutting him off. He laughed, raising his hand.

"Wait. Let me talk first." He said. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to make you wait." he finally said, his expression once again changing into a stoic one. I turned to him, meeting his eye. I could read it from there, his eyes were clearly telling me that I'm not the one for him and he is not the one for me. "This is me."

I felt my heart cry, as I unconsciously clenched on my chest. I wanted to cover my ears or to even run away out of embarrassment but I can't even lift my feet - I can't even avert my eye from his gaze; the tension was different from the time when I was able to avert my own gaze from his, the tension this time was immensely heavy.

"I play. I break." He was the one who averted his gaze, looking up to the blue skies through the glass panels in the greenhouse. "But ... if I were to choose whose heart I don't want to break – it should be yours." he said, keeping his hands to his pockets. "I can't ... I can't afford to break your heart." he went on after sighing, "You're too innocent for me."

I don't know why but I feel weird. My eyelids were trembling and I wanted to cry but I cannot - they just won't come out. Instead, I'm just here, standing, looking and listening to him – unable to say anything even if the dream I had when I wrote the letter was slowly crumbling down.

"Please get over me." He finally said before leaving me there, still standing as he nonchalantly walk to the exit.

And just like that, my dream of a high school romance ended in a snap of a finger. And for the first time in my life, I'm left heartbroken with the guy I fell in love with.

****

#chanyeol #exo #exo fanfic #fanfic #wattpad #wattpad fanfiction #wattpad fanfictions #novel #park chan yeol #park chanyeol #exo l #kpop fanfictions #kpop fanfiction #kpop

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Hi Steph!! I was wondering if you knew of any really long fics (like 25k or more) that are only one chapter, I travel a lot sometimes and some places don't really have good enough internet for multi chapter fics. So yeah, any really long one chapter fics about John and Sherlock would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hey Nonny!!

LOL OKAY FUNNY STORY. I almost replied to this with “oof I’ll have to read EVERYTHING so I’m sorry.... and then... I remembered.......

I put chapter counts on everything 🙃😐

I’m not the brightest crayon in the box. 🖍

Anyway, so yes, I can definitely rec you some fics! BUT I should also offer you two suggestions you can totally do to read ANY fic!

On Ao3, you can click on the “Entire Work” button to load ALL chapters of a fic (it’s the very first button along the top) and in turn you can then just read it all there!

And the very last button along the top, you can Download copies of the fic to your phone or computer with eBook file types (AZw3 for Kindle, ePub for iPhone’s Books app, and MOBI is for other mobile devices and e-readers), the HTML if you want to read it as-is in a web-browser, or the PDF format which is a universal file format that is supported by everything, even web browsers, so it’s a good one to download if you don’t know what format you need :) If you read on an eReader, though, I can’t recommend enough just downloading the format for your device. You get to keep a copy of the fic AND the eReader keeps it nicely formatted. It’s a BRILLIANT, BEAUTIFUL feature that Ao3 gave us, because I like downloading all my fics and read them later in iBooks. Once you start that, Nonny, you can’t do it any other way. AND at the VERY END of the fics, it links BACK to the original post so you can bookmark, kudos, and comment on it!! <3

So yeah, two options you can do to solve your poopy internet and still read long fics hee hee! <3

ANYWAY EXCUSE FOR A NEW LIST LOL.

ALSO, side note, check out @silentauroriamthereal; a large chunk of her fics are both long AND one chapter, so it’s a good place to go and she’s a brilliant author so I don’t think you’ll be disappointed! <3 Plus a lot of her fics are on this list, so I am sorry hahah.

AND I wanted to make the list a bit longer than I had, so I picked fics over 20K, if that’s alright :) As always, if you wrote a 20k+ single chapter fic, let us know!

SINGLE CHAPTER FICS OVER 20K WORDS

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Achieving the Together-Coloured Instant by teahigh (E, 20,776 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel, PTSD, Codependency, Fluff & Angst, H/C, Smut, Demisexual Sherlock, Experiments) – John wonders if this is how it’s going to be: A life speaking in code, because they’re both too stupid to figure out how to say, “I love you.”

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson’s urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

Shallow Grave by SilentAuror (E, 31,672 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, HLV Fix It, Infidelity, Pining Sherlock, First Person POV Sherlock) – Starts as Sherlock's plane is taking off at the end of His Last Vow. When he finds out that Moriarty is alive and that he's being recalled from his mission, Sherlock decides that he should have told John how he felt before he left. So he walks off the plane and kisses him.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism || John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (E, 39,309 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Wedding, Therapy, Fluff and Angst) – Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding... Part 2 of The Ravine Valley series

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, HLV Fix-It, Infidelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #long fics #single chapter fics #Anonymous

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ja-lin · 3 years

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Taming the Tigress (Pride Month Writing Challenge Day 1, 2)

Fandom: Voltage Lovestruck Series: Sweet Enchantments Characters: Runa x MC Wordcount: 2200 Notes: MC’s PoV on how she feels about Runa. Warnings: Rough sex scene at end, but no vulgar language used.

I’ve forgotten how many days have passed since being confined to this magical cafe and bound to a magician. I’m a fawn lost in a jungle of predators. But, everytime Runa walks past me, the exotic spiced scent of her perfume makes my heart flutter, a butterfly towards the sweet bosom of a flower.

Runa has the ferocity of a tiger and everyone warns me not to approach her. All the taunting voices echo through my ears that my relationship with the tigress is unhealthy and punishable in the magic world. But, I know in my heart that the tigress is lonely and her ferocious roars are no more than drawn out weeps that echo through the night.

In the darkness, I hear the sound of a certain mysterious barista, like a one man orchestra working his magic at the bar. If anyone can give me advice about how to approach the tigress, it's Zain. Before I even sit down on a bar stool and begin to ask him a question about Runa, he gracefully turns around to face me, silken hair falling smoothly onto his shoulders, like ocean waves coming to a rest onto the sands of a beach.

Zain is holding a beautiful ceramic tea cup, the edges of the cup adorned with intricate gold patterns resembling flowers and butterflies. The scent of the tea hits me and I’m transported to a field of exotic wildflowers.

Not only is Zain a skilled barista, his knowledge on rare teas is impressive. He explains, "This is special floral tea made from the petals of the blooming monarch flower.“

I continue to sip the tea, each sip bringing me deeper and deeper into the field of wildflowers.

Zain’s voice is a gentle breeze in the field, “There is a legend about the origin of the flower's name. Ancient magicians say that during the monarch butterfly mating season, one butterfly could not find love. It was sad and had no energy left to flutter. After drifting around with the wind for several days, the butterfly landed on the petals of a beautiful, kind flower. The flower shielded the butterfly from wind, rain, and sun until it was strong enough to speak."

Yet, the flower noticed the butterfly was weeping one night and asked, "Why are you weeping my dear butterfly?"

The butterfly woefully responded, "Everyone around me has found someone to be with for life, but alas I will never be able to find love."

The flower decided to take a risk, "Take my nectar, regain your strength and you will surely find your true love."

The butterfly was shocked by the flower's sacrifice, "But, you will perish if I do so! I could not do that to a friend!"

The flower curled its petals as if embracing the lone butterfly, "I may not be a butterfly and I am from a completely different world, but I am doing this because I love you more than a friend. Please take my nectar and live a happy life, for if you perish I could not stand living another day."

The butterfly began to weep again, "I cannot take your nectar and live a happy life because my life would not be happy without you."

Zain continues to speak, voice smooth and smoky like dark chocolate melting against the heat of a kiss, “And, so there the monarch butterfly and the flower remained. Their love blossomed and grew -- seasons upon seasons passed and one spring, a magician stumbled upon a field of beautiful flowers that had petals resembling the monarch butterfly.”

As Zain finishes his story, the aroma of the tea draws me like a butterfly to a flower. He offers me the delicate cup and I take a sip. The tea tastes bittersweet with a strong floral finish that lingers in my mouth.

I ask Zain for another cup of the tea, “Runa would love a cup of this tea, maybe it’ll cheer her up.”

To my surprise, Zain already has a tray of tea and snacks setup as he speaks to me, “What a coincidence as I was about to ask you to bring this to her! She has barely eaten anything all day and even the turnips are worried for their mother.”

Zain winks at me as I take the tray up to Runa’s room.

I take a deep breath and enter the lair of the tigress. The room is dim, but I can make out the shape of Runa laying sideways on her bed facing the wall. Maybe this was a bad decision, I’m having second thoughts.

Before I can change my mind, Runa roars in a fiery tone, but her voice is cracked as if she had been sobbing for hours, “Get the fuck out and leave me alone. Doors were made for a reason. To be shut.”

I know I can’t back down, so despite the tigress snapping at me, I approach and sit next to her on the bed, “Zain wanted me to bring this tray of tea and snacks. It’s a rare tea, from the petals of the monarch flower.”

Runa lets out a snort and a short mocking laugh before shifting and sitting up in bed next to me. Unable to contain herself, Runa bursts out laughing, “Oh, that dumb story he always tells. Zain’s always a big fanboy of fantasy stories with romance and legends. Lately, he’s been telling me about this novel he’s reading, of a girl from Chicago who gets dropped into some fantasy world and she managed to help save a knight and sorceress escape the wrath of an evil queen.”

I set the silver tray onto my lap and mention to Runa that the novel was made into a movie a couple summers back.

“There was a movie called The Void’s Embrace, it was pretty popular and the audience was so disappointed when the knight sacrificed himself to save the girl and the sorceress. The sorceress lost her memory, but at the same time that also meant she forgot about years of war and abuse. The girl was heartbroken, but wanted the sorceress to live a peaceful life without memory of war and abuse. At the end of the movie, true love’s kiss brought the memories back.”

Runa rolls her eyes and grabs a biscuit from the tray to pop into her mouth, speaking as she chews. Some turnips sneak out of the crate, curious about the sugary crumbs dropping to the floor. Runa flicks pieces of biscuit down to the curious turnips.

“Silly humans. To hell with true love’s kiss. Fantasy romance is such bull crap because the writers make it so poetically perfect, but in reality that’s not how it works. You're such a hopeless nerd for fantasy romance. Nothing in reality is that perfect, second chances and redemption don't exist. Once you fucked up once in real life, there's no fixing it. Everyone will look at you like you're a monster that belongs in some deep, dark pit or locked up forever in a dungeon. True love doesn’t exist.”

Challenging the tigress in her lair proves difficult, but I know need to take a risk.

“But, fantasy stories like that give us hope to keep trying. The sorceress knew she did horrible things in the past, so she didn't feel like she deserved to be loved. I think that everyone deserves a chance. Whatever happened yesterday can't be changed, whatever's going to happen in the future is uncertain, but today...we can control what we do today in the present. I want to take control of the present. And, I just wanted to know your honest feelings. Everytime I try to ask you about our relationship, the door slams shut in my face.”

Runa turns to face me so fast, bracing both my shoulders with such ferocity that it knocks the tray off my lap. The sounds of the silverware and tray dropping wake up some more turnips that had been sleeping in a crate nearby. They wobble out, some of them yawning -- and they begin to help their mother clean up the mess. I'm momentarily distracted by the cute, sentient root vegetables and don't notice that Runa's face is only inches from mine. I only snap out of my turnip pantomime trance when I feel her hot breath against my cheeks, but I don’t cower as she roars at me, bearing her teeth.

"Like I said. Doors were made to be shut. Stubborn humans. You don't fucking understand anything about about me and my past! Nobody understands me, yet everyone judges me and tries to help me. I suggest you stop trying and just give up now, just like the rest of them gave up on me and left me hanging. Stop giving me false hope, the light is unreachable from where I am deep in the lair. You don't fucking know shit. I wish you'd have never shown up at the cafe!”

The words Runa spew at me are harsh, but I know that’s just her way of shielding herself from her emotions. Following her outburst, she uses her arms as a physical shield, crossing them over her bosom as she turns her back to me. Even as Runa's hands drop from my shoulders, I can still feel their heated presence like footsteps on hot sand that only slowly wash away with the cold ocean tide. I gently place my hands on Runa's shoulder to comfort her, but she jerks around to face me, freezing from the sudden touch, eyes wide with surprise that any prey would dare challenge the predator.

I take a deep breath and lock my eyes with Runa's.

“Yes. You got that right! I am a stubborn human, but this means I will never, NEVER give up on you. My entire life, I've known the pain of loving someone, but needing to suppress it, to hide it deep in my heart because others around me won't accept it. The fear of rejection, the fear of the one I love leaving me because I'm not worthy enough or I'm not real enough. It's like drinking poison everyday. You're not the only one with monsters within you. We all carry that burden, but at the same time we dream that one day we'll find someone who will accept us for the monsters we truly are.”

Runa opens her mouth slightly about to speak, but her lips become sealed again and she averts her gaze away from me. The tigress knows she’s been challenged --she’s never been challenged before by prey and she doesn’t know how to counter it.

So, I continue to advance, “Everytime I see you, hear your voice, feel your presence, and smell your scent -- it's like drinking more poison. I know it's killing me, but I can't stop drinking it.”

I shift my hands up her shoulders until I’m cupping her warm, flushed cheeks and turn her face so we’re gazing into each others eyes. With confidence that prey never had against a predator I attack, “Runa Amberthorne, true love is the antidote. But, I'm content to drink all your poisons until the day I die.”

With that being said, I draw her face towards mine until our lips meet. The tension, like sparks, suddenly ignites a fire I’ve never seen before in Runa’s eyes. The tigress is finally awake and I’m vulnerable as the prey. She wraps her arms around my body and returns the kiss with ferocity, deep and passionate -- her tongue dancing in my mouth as she explores and tastes me. As the dance ends, she playfully rakes her teeth against my lower lip and gently bites down before sitting back to catch her breath. Runa rolls her tongue across her lips and teeth and I know she's hungry for more. Offering myself, I fall back onto the bed, my hair sprawling out on either side of my head -- my quickened breaths and gasps only fueling the flames of her desire.

Like a tigress she pounces on to me, framing my body with both her muscular arms, nails digging into the bed like claws -- I’m frozen like prey staring into her intense amber eyes, but soon heat spreads through me like a wildfire out of control as she rips my clothing off -- nails digging into my skin as she does so. The slight sight of blood trickling from where her nails streaked down my tender skin releases her ferocious inner beast. The tigress, starved for eons begins to devour me from head to toe.

I can feel how toned Runa’s arms are against my inner thighs as she lays fiery kisses down my body, lower and lower, until I gasp her name. Strands of Runa’s pink bangs stick to her face, now slick with the sweat. Runa slightly tilts her head up and our eyes lock. She sets my flames of desire ablaze with deliberate, relentless strokes of her tongue. I don’t dare break my gaze with her amber eyes, for I want the flames to keep burning hot throughout the night.

I am hers now and forever, as she claims and marks me with her mouth.

#runa amberthorne #sweet enchantments #lovestruck #my writing #...goal is to write a short fic a day for pride month #this is for personal practice #i want to make a visual novel game thats similar to missed messages #this is day 1 and 2 cuz this fic is so long and i drew something #imma have to think of something for day 3

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kiwisandtea · 3 years

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Indie Book Rec’s

because I’ve been reading like there’s no tomorrow and have found a number of indie/lesser-known authors with books I really love, and because I’ve not yet earned the right to leave reviews on Amazon, I’m taking to Tumblr, I guess.

Idk why any of you followed me but you’re getting book rec’s.

SO. Buckle up. I’ll probably do this every month as I log my reading journal.

Rec’s and descriptions/reviews under the cut because I expect it to get long.

The Bright Spear Trilogy by H. L. Macfarlane

(Prince of Foxes, Lord of Horses, King of Forever)

Gothic Scottish fairytale. Probably YA. Faeries, kelpies, and that one stubborn human girl ready to throw hands. Healthy polyamory. Multiple POVs. Not spicy/smutty.

Synopsis of book 1: Girl meets faerie. Faerie gets turned into fox. Girl’s parents blindside her with surprise fiance, so she decides she’d rather help the faerie than marry a Londoner (she’s Scotch to her core). They go in search of a kelpie. Bonding! Sweet betrayal and sweet betrayal again.

Book 1 is honestly my least favorite of the three (book 2 is the best and I’m still mad about book 3 even though it was good), but that’s just me. I read the whole trilogy in 2-3 days.

Quick reads. Fun. Nothing too serious for too long. Happy endings, but with plot things hanging over our heads. No “love triangle” because we’re smart and can just sort it out with polyamory and respecting each other.

Content warnings: miscarriage and implied dub-con/rape in book 3 is all I can remember.

Bought from ThriftBooks, but also available on Amazon and at B&N

City of Thorns by C. N. Crawford

(Book 1 of the Demon Queen Trials trilogy)

(Honestly cannot tell how popular/well-known this author is but in my mind, they’re newer/lesser-known)

Modern coexistence with demons. Little romance-y, little murder mystery-y. Probably YA. Mildest of the spices. Fake dating.

Synopsis: Girl kidnapped by demon because she looks exactly like his Arch Enemy TM, but once they realize the mix-up she agrees to pretend to be her doppelganger to get information for him about his other enemies. Except her doppelganger is a succubus and she doesn’t have the slightest idea how to act sexy and confident and powerful. Queue sexy demon teaching her to be alluring and shameless.

Another quick read. Very fun. The ending is just like bam-bam-bam. I’m still reeling. Stay tuned for when I buy and read book 2 in Feb.

Content warnings: murder, 1 (one) mild sex scene, some blood and gore, guns?

Bought from Amazon, also available at B&N

Thief of Spring and Queen of Night by Katherine Macdonald

(Hades and Persephone duology)

Hades and Persephone retelling, but faeries (yes, I was skeptical at first, too). YA. Romance. Mildest of the spices. Fun twist on Greek mythology.

I’ll skip the synopsis, because it’s just Hades kidnapping Persephone (for good reason, okay?) and keeping her in the Underworld for part of the year, as is expected from most Hades and Persephone retellings.

The difference is that the ‘gods’ are faeries of the Seelie Court and this Hades is not dark and broody, but young and fun and hopeful, which threw me off at the beginning, but I absolutely fell in love with him. Fantastic. Beautiful. Protect at all costs. Demeter is not the one causing problems in this story, but Zera (Zeus & Hera; she killed him and took the name and his powers).

I gave both of these books 5 stars. I already want to re-read them. If you have any interest in Hades/Persephone and/or faerie romance novels, I highly recommend these.

Content warnings: many mentions of Hades’ traumatic childhood, including verbal and physical abuse and dub-con/rape

Bought on Amazon, not on ThriftBooks or B&N that I can find

In the Shadow of Demeter by Vic Malachai

(stand-alone Hades and Persephone retelling)

Literally the Greek myth of Hades and Persephone, just from Persephone’s POV (mostly).

After all the other Hades and Persephone retellings I’ve read (and I’ve read a lot and will read more), this one was a bit lackluster. I think this is where people should start, before they get into the retellings that stretch the story a bit (re: Neon Gods and Macdonald’s above, etc.). That being said, it was short and still good. Hades has a personality that isn’t dark and broody, and they have a history before he squirrels her away to the underworld. There’s peace at the end.

If you like Greek mythology for Greek mythology, very good. Think Ariadne by Jennifer Saint (and presumably Circe and The Song of Achilles, which are on my shelf and tbr).

Content warnings: none that I can think of

Bought on Amazon, not on ThriftBooks or B&N

Pretty Girls Make Graves by Steffanie Holmes

(Dark Academia quadrilogy)

Dark academia! Crumbling uni, secret societies, murder mystery, intrigue, danger, a hot priest. Bully romance, lots of second-hand embarrassment. Little spicy.

I’ll skip the synopsis and repeat: hot priest. Naked in the first chapter. The rest of it is summed up in the dark romance/dark academia description. Absolutely loved it, cannot wait for the next three books. (Stay tuned for book 2 in Feb).

Content warnings: bullying, murder, priest doing not Godly things, some violence and drinking and the usually stuff rich assholes get up to

Bought on Amazon, also available on ThriftBooks and B&N

Signed up for her newsletter to get extra content, which in this case gave me two chapters from the book from the priest and the good bad boy’s POVs and left me with way more questions than the book itself. Then she sent me one of her other books for free as an e-book and that led to:

The entire Briarwood Witches Pentalogy by Steffanie Holmes

(Earth and Embers, Fire and Fable, Water and Woe, Wind and Whispers, Spirit and Sorrow)

Polyamorous witches (reverse harem, one girl and 5 guys). Troublesome fae. Some surprising twists and turns. Spicyyyyy (but not kinky).

Synopsis: Girl’s adoptive Christian parents killed. Girl finds she has inherited English castle. English castle comes with four hot guys (*eyes emoji*). Surprise! She is witch. They are all witches. And they must stop the Unseelie King, obviously. Also, sex increases her power. Queue lots of sex and lots of trouble and some really amazing guys.

Binged all five in a few days. It’s really one single, long story.

Content warnings: murder, self-harm, attempted suicide, major character death (don’t worry it’s not permanent), literal “burn the witches at the stake” mentality and mob

E-books, but available on Amazon, ThriftBooks, and B&N

#book recs #book recommendations #h l macfarlane #c n crawford #katherine macdonald #vic malachai #steffanie holmes #and this is just the indie stuff #lol

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theyanderespecialist · 4 years

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Control (One Shot) Angel Dust X Marie OC (Hazbin Hotel) (Yandere)

(Marie's POV)

I was dancing on the pole and moving flawlessly. I wink at the guys when it is time for my break. I smirked and went to the bar and sit next to angel.

Immediately my proper posture slumped as I let out a groan. "ugggggggggggggggg I'm so tired...I feel like I got six different STDs from that pole." I said looking at him as I raised my hand for a drink

The bartender gets a drink. "Val really needs to have those poles clean." He agrees but seemed more bummed out than normal.

I stopped as I looked at him. "Ange? Everything okay?" I asked as I turned in my chair fully to look at my friend.

"I just it been a long week, hitting me hard especially since I am now trying to get clean, I wish just once I could be in control and choose who I sleep with and take the lead. Not be a toy for demons to use a cum dumpster."

He tells me and sighs.

I looked at him, my lips turning to a frown as I take his hands in mine. "Ange..How much you owe? I can pay for it, you can take some weeks off--."

"No, No I can't."

"t-Then tell me what you want, I'll do it yeah?" I said.

(she probably thinking he'd ask for like..her to pay for his food for a week XD

(XD How wrong she was)

"I want to be in control of sex but I cannot ask that of you." He says and I bite my lip.

"Let's do it then." I say blushing with a smile.

'huh?"

I looked away. I never actually had sex yet.. But Angel was a friend. "I-I said let's do it. ah unless you don't want to have sex with me that's okay I mean I don't even know your orientation, but for this week, you can order me to do things, it doesn't even have to be sexual, just give you that control." I said smiling. "we'll start now." I said smiling as I sat waiting.

"Let me kiss you?" He seemed to be asking I nodded and closed my eyes

(He XD he didn't waste any time XD)

(XD)

I lean in as I wait as it seemed like minutes passed before feeling his lips on mine quickly.

(she just is trying to help a friend XD)

(XD she a good friend)

I gasp but kiss back and we start making out. His tongue slips in my mouth. I smiled as I would admit it was..it was a bit embarrassing to do so in public but I was happy he seemed to be enjoying himself..but he soon pulled away as I open my eyes.

He was grinning ear to ear. "I been wanting to do that since I met you, you taste sweeter than I thought~"

I felt my face burning as I could only let out a squeak but I mean, he seemed so much happier.

(See, you just gave him 7 days of control. girl XD)

"Your shift almost over?" He asks.

"Yeah It is." I say and he smirked and picked me up bridal style.

I let out a noise of shock as I grabbed him as he smirked.

"Good, is it okay if I stay at your place--" he stopped himself in that question. "actually, I'm going to stay at your place." he said.

(time skip)

I sigh as I get in already seeing the lights on as I smiled again. Knowing Angel was happy and seemed so confident, it made me proud.

I make it inside but then see roses on the floor leading to the bedroom where romantic music was playing.

(Damn angel XD Talk about romance XD)

I look inside as I see Angel. "Angel?" I asked as he smirked at me.

"Hey there, well don't just stand there~" he said as I walked in.

"Today is my last full day I want you to be my first time with a woman where I am in control and I want to be your first and I will." He says. "Strip for me beautiful."

(and what he's failing to mention is..he's also her only XD and I think he knows at this point XD she's not going to be taking control XD

(XD This is the final test XD)

I blushed. I mean really all he's asked for is kissing, maybe sneaking a grope in once or twice, this was the first real sexual charged order..but I was excited.

I walked in, putting down my purse as I shrug off my coat, I smiled at him, going over and standing right in front of him as I pull off my shirt, letting my hands run along my breasts as I unhook my bra, leaning in as I pull down my skirt and my panties as I go to remove my stockings. "No, I think you should keep them on." he said as I stop and smile.

(oh he one of those kinky guys XD he ain't into feet..but he into thigh high stockings)

(XD)

I nodded my head and he tells me to get on my knees. I blush but nod and fall to my knees in front of him.

"Crawl to daddy~" He says and I blush but do so and Then her smirked as I was in front of him. "Pull down my underwear with your teeth~"

I blush darkly as I shudder as I get his boxers in my mouth with a good grip as I managed to pull them down, my face red and my heart hammering as his cock sprang free.

"Show daddy how much you love him~" He says and I nod and take his cock in my hands and got him fully hard then lick up from the base to tip.

He let out a groan. "Good girl~ Keep going~" he said as I kiss the head, going back down as I lick at his cock kissing the shaft, leaving my red lipstick marks all over.

(I mean he's gonna love her complimenting and worshiping his body XD)

(XD yup)

He groaned and stroke my hair praising me saying how good I was it made me feel warm.

I take his head into my mouth as the stroking quickly turned to gripping my hair as I ran my tongue over his slit, immediately tasting his precum, and while I would not add it to my favourite tastes, or anything similar..I still pulled away and looking him in the eyes. "Y-You taste so good~" I purr, immediately going back down again, this time taking more in my mouth.

He moaned and started to fuck my mouth not going to far to my throat he was a considerate lover. I see he like the control of choosing the pace. Soon I feel him twitching in my mouth and he cums in it hard. I swallow as much as I can and lick up what is left on his cock. I pant as I look up at him, my hands still stroking his cock.

"Get on the bed and spread your legs~" He says and I nod and do that. He smirked and got something out.

"I want you to be able to choose me for your virginity because your in love with me." He clicked the strapon into place. "But that does not mean you cant peg me.

He flicked a witch and a vibrator on my clit went off. I moaned and gasped loudly.

"I am going to ride you like a horse~" He says. "The faster I ride you the more it vibrates~"

(Made this sex toy up but man do we need it in real life XD)

(Angel be in control but he want you to choose him for him not for a promise you made he is a bit like me in that regard XD)

(XD yup)

(XD sniff Sniff SNIFFFFFF! I smell a part two XD)

I let out a moan as he climbed on top of me. He wasn't heavy at all actually.

"A-Ange--"

"Call me daddy~" (stolas that you jk XD)

I felt my face turn red as I let out a moan as he slowly sank down, the pressure pushing it into my clit more. "D-Daddy..I-I..I-I love you."

He froze and stared at me and then kissed me deeply. "I love you too~ Will you be mine, I will get clean for you and I will leave the hooker business I just want you."

I kiss him back as I smile. "Y-Yes I will--" I was cut off by another kiss as I feel him starting to move as I moan into the kiss as did he as he pulled away as my hands start to stroke his cock while he rides me.

I loved this and it felt so good. I moaned loudly as he sped up and I gave him all the praise. We whisper sweet nothings into each others ears and soon those changed to moans and pants the room being filled with them and the sound of skin slapping. I moaned as I tried to thrust up, I didn't want him having to do all the work.

(Angels pov)

I moaned flipped us over. She looked at me and I smirked.

"Fuck me beautiful~"

She looked at me for a second before she smirked as she kissed me before getting on her knees, thrusting into me as I feel her bite my shoulder, something a lot of them do, but she wasn't doing it to just do it. She wasn't trying to make me bleed, she just was trying to make me feel good as she would suck on the spot as her one hand gripped my waist gently, the other pumping my cock as I let out a moan.

"D-Does it feel good?" she asked. She sounded so worried that I didn't like it. (I mean yeah XD that's literally me in any sexual situation, ask if they like it like a hundred times)

(XD)

"I love it is perfect~ You do not need to hold back baby~" I moan. "I won't break~"

I was happy though as she gripped a little harder as she thrusted into me as she bit me once more, a little harder, leaving a small faint mark. It was such a turn on. I was still in control but she was also not treating like I would break. She then started to hit my prostate and I cried out she did it so well I came hard and as I shook around the vibrating cock strapon she came as well and fell on me.

"Your mine now~" He says and kisses me deeply.

She nodded and yawned. "All yours~" She purrs.

I smirked. I will make her mine after a nap for us. She earned a rest~

#yandere #yandere angel dust #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere one shot #one shot #hazbin hotel #angel dust #angel dust x oc #Marie Oc #OC

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hotpinkhoshi · 5 years

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the pact (6)

pairing: jinyoung x reader

genre: romance, smut, a lil angst

warnings: a lot of fluff. i cried, you might cry. cursing as always, some mentions of cheesy romantic films?!?

word count: 6.2k

summary: you desperately need to get over your decade-long crush on lim jaebeom, and your close friend jinyoung needs to get over his ex—so the two of you make an arrangement: just sex, no feelings. what could go wrong?

a/n: oh wow, so this is the last part, huh? it has been quite a journey. i’m going to gush a little right now, because this has been such an incredible experience to post this story for you guys. i’ve interacted with so many amazing people, both readers and fellow writers, and i absolutely have this story to thank for that. i’ve grown so attached to these characters, i know that this won’t be the last time i write about them. not even close. so don’t worry, it’s not goodbye.

as for what’s next, there will be an epilogue that i’m praying i can post this week. if not this week, definitely next week. after that, i’m planning on focusing on some drabbles that i have sitting in my inbox (yeah, remember those?! i didn’t forget about them!). and i’ve got an idea i’m really excited about, it’s still in early stages but i feel similarly about it as i did when i first came up with the pact. if you notice some tags on my posts of a certain member... you might get a little hint. but that is all i’ll say on THAT.

okay, my loves, please enjoy this last part. as always, let me know how you feel about it all! i’m proud of this, i really am.

↳ index here

Somehow, a few minutes had turned into a few hours, and a few hours turned into staying the night.

You knew you should’ve left—you should have fessed up and gone home, but you didn’t. You couldn’t.

Not when you woke up to the smell of sizzling bacon and eggs, in an empty bed. You rubbed your eyes groggily as you sat up straight, letting your vision adjust to the bright light.

You shivered, noticing you were still naked. After you pulled yourself from the warm comfort of Jinyoung’s bed, you dressed yourself in his shirt and the joggers he’d given you before padding out to see what Jinyoung was up to.

The sight that greeted you in the kitchen was one you wanted to burn into your memory. He stood at the stove, in just a plain white tee and a pair of plaid pajama pants, stirring scrambled eggs with a spatula.

He must’ve had a bluetooth speaker set up somewhere, because he was currently humming along to a soft, piano heavy John Legend song, one sock covered foot tapping to the beat.

You were so distracted by the sight you ran into the kitchen island, stubbing your toe on the stool. “Ow,” you whined, reaching down to rub your foot.

Jinyoung turned towards you, eyebrows raised. “Good morning. You okay?”

“I’m okay,” you replied, standing up straight again. “What are you making?”

“Eggs, bacon, and some waffles.”

It smelled incredible. You hadn’t had waffles in years, probably not since the dining hall in college. You walked over to the stove, curiously peering at the spread he’d made.

“It smells really good,” you remarked, reaching for a piece of bacon off the serving plate.

Jinyoung waved your hand away. “Nuh uh, go sit down. It’ll be done in a minute.”

With a pout, you made like you were going to listen to him, but managed to swipe a tiny piece from the plate before scurrying off. Jinyoung swatted at your backside and you yelped, shoving the piece of bacon in your mouth.

“Ah, you little-!”

You giggled as you slid into the stool at the breakfast bar, crossing your legs and watching him innocently. “I was taste testing.”

Jinyoung shot you his trademark displeased side-eye before turning back to tend to the breakfast. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good. You?”

You’d slept better than good. Jinyoung was like a living, breathing furnace and he’d spooned you all night, keeping your body nice and warm. You felt completely refreshed, having not even woken up once during the night.

“Good,” Jinyoung responded. “Do you have anywhere to be today, or do you wanna stick around for a bit?”

You needed to leave, but he’d made breakfast and it would have been rude to take off before eating… but after that, you needed to go. You’d stretched this out far too long.

“I… have some errands I need to run, so I should head out after breakfast.”

Jinyoung simply nodded and turned the volume down on his speaker, though you could still hear the romantic crooning over the sizzling of the bacon. Just the smell was enough to awaken the hunger in your stomach, considering you’d barely eaten any of the takeout Jinyoung had ordered last night. You’d been overcome by a different kind of hunger.

Both of you had been insatiable. After you rested for an hour, it was like you were re-energized, exploring each other’s bodies like the first time until you were too sore and tired to move. You were grateful for the peaceful sleep that had followed.

Even now, just sitting on the stool, you could feel the ache in your thighs and soreness in your arms from one particularly creative position Jinyoung had gotten you in. You blushed to yourself, remembering how loud he’d had you begging.

“What?” Jinyoung asked, setting a plate of steaming food in front of you. “Your cheeks are all pink.”

“None of your business,” you teased back, snapping out of your private flashback. You squealed when Jinyoung pinched your side, laying a wet kiss on your cheek.

“So ungrateful towards the one that just made you a full breakfast,” he said, shaking his head at you and clicking his tongue.

His hair was messy, falling over his eyes in the front and one little piece standing up in the back. Other than that, he looked as refreshed as you felt.

“Oh, sorry. Thank you, kind sir, for the food. I cannot ever repay you for this act of kindness.” You bowed your head and clasped your hands in front of you, stifling a giggle.

“You know what,” Jinyoung started, giving you another pinch. “You got a lot of attitude for a girl that, just last night, was begging me to pull her hair and slap her a-“

You lunged to cover your hand over his mouth, your face flushing a deeper shade of red with wide eyes. “Jinyoung!”

The mischievous smile on his lips was evident even underneath your hand, eyes practically twinkling as he stared down at you. He was right, that did happen, but in the daylight, you felt embarrassed.

“Don’t be bashful,” he teased once you let your hand fall away, locking you in with his arms on either side of your body, pressing his hands into the counter. “It was sexy.”

The intense gaze he was giving you was enough to revive that need inside of you once more, only laying dormant for as long as you’d been asleep. You shouldn’t, it’d only make it harder, and yet…

Your hands reached for his waist and you pulled him closer, legs parting for him to stand between. “Kiss me.”

Jinyoung was always such a good listener. He closed the distance between you, lips melting into yours as they had a million times by now. And still, you found yourself never wanting to pull away, only wanting more and more.

It didn’t take much for the kiss to turn more heated, both of you clearly forgetting about the plates of food on the counter, more concerned with your hands wandering each other’s bodies. It was a craving that you weren’t quite ready to kick.

Jinyoung began peppering kisses along the line of your jaw until he’d reached your neck, the skin already tender and covered in marks from last night. Neither of you worried about leaving bruises, hickies, or scratches. It was like you’d both wanted to mark your territory.

There was already a slickness pooling between your legs, and it had taken no time at all, he had barely even touched you. It was so easy for him—it made you want to stay in all day, let him hold you and in return, worship every inch of him.

But you couldn’t.

Like a blast of cold water, you realized with a start that it was now or never. If you didn’t end it now, you’d continue putting off the one thing that you needed to do. This was it.

“Jinyoung,” you whispered, voice coming out weaker than you’d intended.

“Hm?” he murmured against your skin, the vibration sending a shiver down your spine.

“We need to-” Your words were cut off by a gasp from his teeth nipping at your collarbone. “We need to stop.”

“Why?” he asked, smirking against your skin. “We can always heat up the food later. I have an appetite for something else now.”

Your teeth dug into your lower lip. You already felt the tears welling up behind your eyes and your heart painfully pounding in your chest.

“No,” you replied. “We need to stop. This. All of this.”

It was like it took a moment for it to register, for your words to get through. He pulled away, slowly, eyebrows furrowed.

“Wh-” he shook his head in confusion. “Why?”

You gulped, taking in a deep, shaky breath. “I just think it’s the right time. You’re over Yeri, right?”

“Yes,” he answered, with no hesitation. “But-”

“Okay,” you responded, lips pressing together with a nod. “Then… mission accomplished, right?”

Jinyoung shook his head once more with a humorless laugh. “I don’t get it. We have fun together. I thought this was working for both of us, we were getting what we wanted?”

When he said it, it made sense. You did have fun, and you were getting all of your needs met and then some. But you couldn’t keep it up, you couldn’t let your feelings grow until they’d be impossible to ignore.

“I just-” you whispered, searching for the right words, the ones that could get him to agree without him seeing right through you. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Jinyoung stepped back until no part of his body was touching yours. You felt cold already. His tongue ran along his lip as he stared at you, searching your face for an answer you prayed he wouldn’t discover.

“Can you at least tell me why?”

You wanted to. You really did. There was a big part of you that wanted to tell him the truth, how you fantasized about this all being real, not just for fun. Something that could last. You wanted to wake up next to him in the morning and fall asleep in his embrace every night. But it was one-sided, which meant it could never happen.

“I broke one of the rules,” you managed, voice cracking.

Jinyoung’s entire body tensed in front of you, and you watched as a cold brick wall went up behind his eyes. That openness, the trust you’d built. Suddenly, you felt like it’d been severed in half. “Which rule.”

You swallowed, wringing your hands tight enough that you could feel your nails pressing crescents into your palms. “It doesn’t matter. I think we should stop. Okay?”

“What do you mean, it doesn’t matter? Of course it fucking matters. If you-” he stopped himself, exhaling slowly, and you noticed his fists clenching at his sides.

“Please don’t make me say it, Jinyoung. Just trust me, I didn’t mean to. I… it all happened so fast. I should have said something earlier, before last night. I’m sorry.”

A realization seemed to dawn on him, his eyes darkening. He took another step back. “Fine.”

Maybe he knew. Maybe he could tell by your tone that you’d fallen in love with him, and after all, it had been a dealbreaker. You both went into this specifically because there would be no feelings involved, and you’d gone and fucked it up.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. Your heart felt like it was cracking into a thousand pieces.

“Don’t.” Jinyoung’s jaw looked like it was wired shut, and there was a fire in his eyes you’d never seen before. “I thought—you know, I don’t know what I thought. Fuck me for thinking we’d be on the same page here.”

“Jinyoung, I tried. I did. I wanted this to work. But it just happened. I saw Jaebeom… and I…” You wiped at a stray tear on your cheek. You wanted to explain it to him, that you didn’t realize until you saw Jaebeom, but the words were hard to find.

At Jaebeom’s name, Jinyoung narrowed his eyes and balled his hands into fists.

“Why are you crying?” He asked harshly. “You wanted this, and we promised we’d be honest, right? So when did it happen?” There was something new in his tone, something you’d never heard from him before. Deeper than anger. Hurt.

You sniffled. “When you were in New York.”

Until he’d left you, you didn’t realize how deep your feelings for him ran. The distance had brought you clarity, however terrifying it had been to accept your fate. You simply couldn’t ignore the truth any longer.

After an unbearably long silence, Jinyoung turned and walked over to the sink, leaning his palms onto the counter. “You should have told me last night. Before.”

Your lip quivered as you brushed more tears away. Of course you should have told him sooner, you should have told him the minute you figured out that you felt more for him than friendship. But you’d been weak and scared.

“I’m-”

“Please, don’t apologize again. Just…” he turned back around, words coming out slow as if he was carefully choosing each one. “It’s probably a good idea for you to leave before I say something I’ll regret.”

This was a new side of Jinyoung for you to witness. Cold, angry, and bitter. You should have known better, to keep your heart out of it, but it was too late now. You didn’t fully understand why he was so hurt, but he had every right to deal with your confession however he pleased.

Another apology was on the tip of your tongue but you swallowed it back, simply nodding before you began gathering the few things you’d brought with you. Jinyoung watched you in silence, his eyes burning holes into the back of your head as you slipped your shoes back on.

Luckily, you made it all the way to your car before you doubled over, finally releasing a strangled sob. Why did it feel like a thousand knives slicing at your skin, all at once?

You loved him. God, did you love him. Even now, with your heart in pieces, you couldn’t let that feeling go. You shut yourself into the safety of the driver’s seat, grateful for your tinted windows as you cried your heart out, forehead pressed into the steering wheel.

Maybe you’d be able to move on someday, just as you had with Jaebeom. But for now, you’d let yourself feel the emptiness.

~~~~

You sniffled, grabbing another tissue and blowing your nose.

“How do you look at the girl you love, and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?”

Your lips mouthed the words along with Channing Tatum, at the very same moment that Bambam snorted, chewing his popcorn noisily.

“Come on, man, this movie is bullshit.”

“Bam. Shut the hell up,” Sana retorted, jabbing her elbow into his side from her spot on the couch.

“Ow,” he complained, rubbing his side, but he shot you an apologetic look regardless.

It was movie night, and you’d been given the privilege of picking the film to watch, which you were sure was completely out of pity. Usually, it was put up to a vote, but for the first time ever, Sana declared that it was up to you to pick. Yugyeom and Bambam whined about it, but let it go fairly easy.

It’d been more than a month since that morning with Jinyoung, and you hadn’t seen him since. You didn’t feel it was your place to reach out to him, knowing he probably needed time, but you’d been surprised after the first few days of silence.

Then it hit you. You’d lost him, for good, all because you couldn’t control yourself. The one person you’d grown to trust wholeheartedly through it all, even beyond Sana. You let Jinyoung see every part of you, and you had nothing to show for it now besides a broken heart.

You’d cried more that first week than you had in years. Your lowest point was Friday, when Sana came home to you laying on the couch, watching Bridget Jones’ Diary and eating marshmallows straight from the bag.

Things got better from that point, but you still felt as if you were walking through life on autopilot. Wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, sleep, repeat. You hadn’t realized how big of a part Jinyoung played in your daily life until he was gone. It all faded from technicolor to black and white.

“I’m just saying… she wouldn’t be crying if she’d let us watch John Wick like I suggested,” Bambam offered up weakly.

You took a deep breath, straightening your back and wiping your cheeks. “I’m fine. It’s just hormones. I have my period,” you said, knowing this would get him off your back.

“No you don’t,” Yugyeom said. “Your period was last week.”

“How do you know that?” you asked, gaping at him.

Yugyeom shrugged. “I figured out your menstrual cycle. For my own good. You always make me carry in the incoming orders when you have cramps.”

Damn, maybe you needed to stop using your period as an excuse.

You blinked at him and everyone laughed. Everyone except Jackson, at least, who continued to sulk in the corner of the other couch. He’d been keeping his distance from you, though he still came over occasionally. There was a certain icy exterior about him in your presence. His loyalty to Jinyoung trumped his loyalty with you, which was understandable.

You focused back on the movie, desperately trying to keep your thoughts away from Jinyoung. It had been the biggest hurdle you’d faced these last weeks, and one you’d failed to cross every single time.

You didn’t care about the sex. It had been incredible, but you would have lived without it if you could just have him back in your life. Even just as your best friend. The one you texted when you saw something funny, the one you leaned on when you were feeling sad or anxious, the one whose laugh was the single best sound you’d ever heard.

If only you knew how he was doing. Did he hate you? Your mind had jumped to that conclusion thousands of times by now. You knew him, you knew if he’d decided he was done with you, that was it. The same as he’d done years ago when he chose to get over you.

Jackson excused himself to the kitchen for a drink and you quickly followed, claiming you wanted to refill your popcorn. He was crouched in front of the fridge, arm extended painfully to reach the last can of cider in the back corner.

“Jack?” you asked, fingers tapping nervously against the side of the popcorn bowl. You kept your voice down, knowing your friends in the living room would be able to hear you easily, and there was no way they weren’t attempting to eavesdrop already.

He glanced up, acknowledging your presence, then returned his focus to the task at hand.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Finally, his fingers wrapped around the can and he stood up after retrieving it, turning around to face you. “I guess.”

You’d never seen him like this. Jackson was one of the most loyal human beings you’d ever known, but you didn’t realize how awful it would feel when it worked against you.

“How is he? Is he okay?” You swallowed, wringing your hands together. You had a million other questions, but you’d start there.

Jackson traced the lip of his cider can with his fingertip, tongue pressing into the inside of his cheek. “He’s fine. You’re not his favorite person right now, if you want me to be honest.”

Of course you weren’t. That message had certainly been received.

“I know. I just-” you cut yourself off with a deep breath, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I guess I thought it would be okay after a few days, and we could go back to normal.”

Jackson looked at you like you were crazy. “Seriously? You thought it’d go back to normal? Come on, Y/N.”

Your stomach turned with guilt yet again. “I miss him. And I… I didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. It was an accident.”

“What, you tripped and Jaebeom’s dick caught your fall?” he asked, eyebrows raised. There was no way your friends hadn’t heard him. You heard rustling, and it sounded like someone paused the movie.

“Wait… what?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t—he told you I slept with Jaebeom?”

“Yeah. You told him you did. Didn’t you?”

“No!” You shook your head, gripping your bowl so tightly it felt like it would break. “Why would he think that?”

Jackson shrugged. “He said you slept with Jaebeom while he was in New York, that you admitted it when he came back.”

“What the hell is going on in here?” Sana interrupted, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Y/N did not sleep with Jaebeom. Did that asshole say she did?”

“No, Y/N said she did.”

“I didn’t!” You set the popcorn bowl down before you could drop it, rubbing your temples once your hands were free. “He thinks I slept with Jaebeom? That’s why he hasn’t talked to me?”

The world seemed to spin around you and your heart pounded deep in your chest, all of the information falling together as you remembered back to that morning.

I broke one of the rules… I saw Jaebeom… It just happened…

“Oh my god.”

“What?” Jackson and Sana asked at the same time.

“I didn’t sleep with anyone else! I’m in love with him!”

Both of your friends stared at you, jaws practically on the kitchen floor. Bambam and Yugyeom appeared in the doorway behind Sana, ears perked up like curious cats.

“Who are you in love with?” Yugyeom asked, looking between you and Jackson, pointing to the latter. “Him?”

“Oh my god,” you repeated, pinching the bridge of your nose. “He thinks I slept with Jaebeom. What the fuck?”

“You’re in love with him?!” Jackson asked, eyes nearly bugging out of his head. “But he—Y/N, you need to tell him. Right now.”

“Tell who?” Bambam asked.

“Jinyoung!” You and Jackson answered in unison.

“You’re in love with Jinyoung?” Yugyeom asked, but you were already pushing past him to get to the living room.

You needed to talk to him, explain it all. The thought of sleeping with someone else… it made you physically sick. Jinyoung was the only one you’d wanted for a long time. Longer than you even realized.

“Hold on a second,” Sana called, stopping you. You turned back around to face your friends. “I thought you said he didn’t feel the same way?”

“I didn’t think he did. Does he?” You asked, directing your question to Jackson.

He chewed his lip. “It’s not really my place to say…”

“Jackson.” You took a deep breath. “If I go over there and pour my heart out, am I going to make a complete fool out of myself?”

Jackson took a moment to mull it over, then shook his head. “No. I think you should go over there, right now.”

------

You didn’t even change out of your comfy clothes before heading over to Jinyoung’s. It didn’t matter how you looked right now, you just knew you needed to get to him. Your heart was racing at a million miles a minute, hoping and praying that you weren’t too late.

What if you were? What if he was out on a date now, or had someone over? If that was the case, you didn’t think you could come back from that. Just the thought was enough to break you, but you had to try.

Pure adrenaline propelled you to his apartment door, but once you were there you froze. What were you going to say? Should you just come right out with it?

I know you hate me, but there’s been a misunderstanding—I’m actually in love with you.

You found yourself whispering the words to yourself over and over as you stared at his door. It was easy to say out loud now, but you knew it would be more of a challenge to say it to his face.

“I’m in love with you. That’s all you have to say. Come on, it’s not that hard. God, stop being such a wimp,” you told yourself, running your fingers through your hair until you felt like it was going to start falling out.

“Sorry to interrupt, but-”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the deep voice next to you, spinning around to come face to face with Jinyoung. He was in his usual dark grey suit and black tie, grasping his briefcase in one hand.

“Jesus,” you gasped, hand clutching your chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

His expression gave nothing away. For all you knew, he still hated you. Although it was a relief that he had been at work, not out sticking his tongue down some other girl’s throat.

“Sorry. Uh,” Jinyoung reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Do you mind? I need to get in there,” he said, nodding towards the door.

You apologized and moved out of his way, watching as he pulled out his key and unlocked the door. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until Jinyoung kept the door open for you to follow him inside.

That was a good sign, right?

After letting the door shut behind you, you didn’t know where to go, so you just stood close to the door and shoved your hands in the pocket of your hoodie, if only because you had no idea what else to do with them.

“How long were you standing there?” you asked, silently praying he hadn’t already heard you confessing to the door.

“Not long,” Jinyoung replied, setting his briefcase down at the kitchen island and shedding his suit jacket.

Typical. He didn’t give anything away, and he still hadn’t even made eye contact with you. He definitely hated you.

“I need to tell you something,” you said, finally. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been this nervous.

Jinyoung turned to face you, hands resting in his pockets. You hadn’t seen him in over a month, and the sight of him in his dress shirt and tie… was overwhelming, to say the least. You gulped, averting your eyes to the floor.

“Okay…”

“I didn’t sleep with Jaebeom. I didn’t sleep with anyone else,” you started. First and foremost, you needed him to know that. It killed you knowing he’d spent the whole month thinking you’d given your body to somebody else when you couldn’t even stand the thought. “That wasn’t the rule that I broke.”

It took you a moment to be able to look up at Jinyoung. He was biting the skin of his lip, almost like he was nervous too. He took a single step forward, though it still felt like there was an ocean between the two of you.

“Okay. Which rule did you break, then?”

One deep breath in, one long breath out. You could do this. But you needed to feel him, to ground yourself to earth before you risked it all.

You took a few hesitant steps towards him, one foot in front of the other until you were close enough to smell his cologne.

“I didn’t mean to. And if you don’t feel the same way, it’s totally okay, I just… can’t lose you. This last month has been hell without you. So, the truth is...”

You reached out, wrapping your fingers around Jinyoung’s wrist until he slipped his hand out of his pocket. Finally, his fingers intertwined with yours and you felt it. Safety. Security. Home.

“I’m in love with you,” you finally confessed.

“I know,” he responded.

“What?” you asked, stuttering. “H-how did you know?”

“I heard you telling my door,” he answered, one side of his mouth lifting in a smirk.

You sighed, ducking your head in embarrassment. “Oh god.”

Jinyoung tugged your hand and pulled you closer. “It was kind of adorable. But I wanted to hear you say it, you know, to me.”

Tilting your head up, you looked him in the eyes and shrugged. “Well, it’s true. Do you…?” you trailed off, your heart pounding in your ears.

“Hmm,” Jinyoung hummed, lifting his free hand to rest against your cheek. “Do I what?”

Your head tipped forward to rest against him and you whined, “Come on. You know what I’m trying to say.”

Jinyoung chuckled, the sound rumbling deep in his chest against your forehead. “Okay, okay. Let me see your face.”

With a sigh, you pulled back to look up at him. He was staring down at you, complete adoration in those brown eyes. You swallowed, fingers squeezing his hand to anchor yourself.

“I’ve been in love with you for a long time, angel. I tried to deny it, but I couldn’t do it.” He spoke softly, and even though he didn’t say much, you felt every ounce of his feelings for you spill out at once. “You’re it for me.”

You blinked and a tear fell. For the first time, you didn’t try to hide it or wipe it away. “I’m sorry that I took so long to catch up.”

It was odd to think that all of these years, you’d been chasing after Jaebeom when Jinyoung had been right under your nose. This person that understood you on the deepest level possible, and could make you smile more than anyone you’d ever met. He was everything you lacked, and vice versa. You couldn’t believe it had taken this long for you to see it.

“There’s no rush. You’ve been in my life all this time, and that was enough for me.” Jinyoung caught one of your tears under his thumb, swiping it away. “I thought I’d gotten over it. I threw myself into work, into Yeri, but she saw right through me. Then you suggested this… arrangement, and I couldn’t say no. It all came flooding back that first night.”

You still remembered it like it was yesterday. The way he’d held you, made you feel beautiful and wanted, like nobody else ever had. That was the first time it’d felt different with him, the first time you saw him as more than a friend. Now here you were, more in love with him than you thought possible.

“I was scared. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner,” you admitted, bringing your joined hands up to your lips so you could kiss his knuckles. “But now that I’m here, I’ve never felt more secure. It’s worth the risk.”

“I promise,” Jinyoung began, brushing his fingertips along the line of your jaw, “that I will never hurt you. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll love you for who you are, through all of your good and bad days, your chaotic cooking, all of your teasing and testing of my limits.”

You let out a half laugh, half sob. “Jinyoung, you’re it for me too. I can just… I feel it, you know? Here.” Your free hand came up to rest on your own heart. “This is yours.”

“I’m never going to take it for granted.”

You’d never seen him so soft, so vulnerable. There were tears in his eyes, too. It was almost like the last decade had been leading to this moment, right here. Even though he was fully dressed in his fancy work clothes and you were wearing a ten year old hoodie and ratty joggers, this was where you were meant to be.

“Can you kiss me now, please? It’s been too long.”

Jinyoung laughed, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I think I can do that.”

By the time he leaned down, lips only inches from yours, you finally felt like the world had righted itself.

You tipped your head up the rest of the way until your lips melted into his. Letting go of Jinyoung’s hands, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. There were tears falling down both of your cheeks, but it was the best kiss you’d ever had.

With Jinyoung’s arms around your waist, he brought you flush against his body, kissing you until you both had to come up for air. Jinyoung pressed his forehead against yours, noses brushing together as you caught your breath.

“I want to do this right,” he said, quietly, gripping your waist. “Start over, almost. I want to take you out on a real date, one that doesn’t end with sex. I just…” Jinyoung shrugged, pulling away just enough to kiss your forehead. “I want to show you what you’ve deserved all this time.”

Your cheeks felt hot, just thinking of going out on a date with Jinyoung. As if you were a teenager again, being asked out for the first time. This was how it was supposed to feel, you realized.

“I love you,” you told him and slid your hand into his hair. You had missed the way his strands felt between your fingers. “I don’t want to stop saying it.”

“God, you’re so god damn cute.” Jinyoung kissed your nose and you giggled, leaning down to bury your face in his neck.

“Shut up,” you whined and squeezed him close in a hug, feeling him laugh into your hair. “Can we cuddle and watch a documentary?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, bending down to tuck his arms under your knees. You gasped as he lifted you up easily, wrapping your legs around his waist so he could carry you over to the living room to set you on the couch.

“Ugh, you’re such a show off,” you said as you snuggled into him, nudging his side.

Jinyoung poked your side with the remote in retaliation, grinning enough that his dimples popped and his eye whiskers made an appearance. It made butterflies flutter in your stomach, a feeling you now welcomed rather than buried down.

“Here, pick something,” he said as he handed you the remote and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

After ten minutes of scrolling and debating on what exactly to spend your night watching, you finally decided on a two hour documentary about Edgar Allen Poe. You easily leaned into Jinyoung’s side, your bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces.

Your eyes drifted shut after twenty minutes, so comfortable in Jinyoung’s arms that your body fell into a light sleep. You vaguely registered a blanket being draped over your lap, though Jinyoung’s warmth never left you. You just snuggled deeper into him, nuzzling your face into his chest.

An incessant buzzing awoke you from your impromptu nap, feeling something vibrate against your thigh. You whined, lower lip jutting out as you opened your eyes. Jinyoung kissed your temple as he pulled his phone from his pocket, eyebrows knitted in confusion as he stared down at the screen.

“It’s Sana. I honestly didn’t even know she had my number.”

“Answer it. Make it stop,” you pouted, rubbing your sleepy eyes.

“Hello?” Jinyoung asked after bringing the phone up to his ear.

Jinyoung was silent for a while, and you could just barely register the sound of Sana’s voice on the other end, but not loud enough for you to make out what exactly she was saying.

“Yes, she’s here. Yeah… No, I know… Jesus Christ, Sana… Listen, you have nothing to worry about, okay? Yeah… Okay, bye.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat as he hung up the phone, setting it down on the empty cushion next to him. “Well,” he began, slipping his arm back around your shoulders, “it’s safe to say, you have a very loyal friend in Sana.”

You raised a brow. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes. She just explained, in very graphic detail, how exactly she would, uh, remove my manhood if I ever hurt you. So.” He pressed his lips together, eyes staring into space as if he’d been scarred for life.

You fought back a smile. “Oh, wow. I mean, you’d better listen. I’d be very sad if anything happened to your-”

“Please don’t say manhood,” he finished for you, releasing a deep sigh.

Giggling, you patted his thigh. “Alright, I won’t say it. But the fact still stands.”

Jinyoung chuckled and shook his head. “I won’t, though. You know that, right? I can’t even imagine it.”

“I don’t need you to promise that, Jinyoung. Life…” you shrugged your shoulders, turning your body so that you could truly face him, look him in the eyes. “Things happen. Maybe one day, you’ll have a bad day at work and snap at me when I tease you a little too hard. Or maybe I’ll snap at you. We’re gonna fight, Jinyoung. And it’ll hurt. But this,” you reached for his hand, lacing your fingers through his. “This feels right. This is what I care about.”

The corner of Jinyoung’s lips lifted as he looked down at your hands, then back up at you. “How about a new pact?” he asked, twisting your hands until only your pinkies linked together.

“Okay.” You curled your finger around his.

“Let’s make a deal. We’ll love each other, listen to each other, be honest, and just… choose each other. Every day.”

The deep, sincere tone of Jinyoung’s voice was enough for your eyes to well up once more, though you fought it back down.

“Deal,” you said, leaning forward to kiss the back of your own thumb, the universal ‘pinky promise’ gesture. Jinyoung did the same, then pulled you closer by your hand to press his lips into yours. You smiled into the kiss, melting against him once more.

You didn’t know what would happen in the future; you couldn’t make predictions or promise that it would always be perfect, but you knew that finally, through all of the ups and downs and the wrong turns, you had found your home. It was here, with Jinyoung.

#thepactfic #jinyoung fic #writing #got7 #park jinyoung #got7 fanfic #got7 fic #park jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung fluff #jinyoung angst #jinyoung smut #got7 fluff #got7 angst #got7 smut #jinyoung imagine #got7 imagine

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protectwoc · 4 years

Text

why all reylos are racist

y’all can go ahead and cancel me now because some of you are not going to like what i have to say and i am completely okay with that.

this recent gq interview with john boyega has incensed me. hearing all the things he went through, from disney and from “fans” and with no support from anyone… i’m livid. sometimes when i think about it for too long i start shaking, i’m so furious. and the response from the reylo fandom has infuriated me to a degree i honestly didn’t know was possible.

some of you may have seen my recent tumblr rampage. it’s reylo bullying hours here on my blog, and i’m not sorry either. one person threatened to post screenshots of my comments, which like… okay? i know what the fuck i said, it wasn’t that long ago. in fact i was going to include the screenshots in this post right here, but they blocked me before i had the chance. sorry. i’m sure somebody has them. anyway…

over the past two days in the star wars fandom we have seen something unprecedented: an outpouring of support for john boyega. both reylos and anti-reylos have joined forces to voice support for john in the wake of the gq interview (and the blm protests, let’s be real, some of y’all would not have given half a fuck if it wasn’t suddenly cool to be antiracist). and this showing of unity is one of the most rage-inducing things i’ve ever seen in a fandom (which is saying something; i have seen some shit).

reylo fandom, full offense intended, but where the fuck do you get off? you’re supporting john now? where was this support when tfa came out and you couldn’t stand the thought of him next to your white-girl-self-insert? where was it when tlj came out and your boy ryan completely sidelined him? where was it earlier this fucking year when y’all twisted a harmless joke (like yall haven’t spent years writing reylo-throne-room-sex-meta BULLSHIT) and ignored the vile racist shit coming from your own fav’s mouth? but you’re supporting him now? now that being antiracist is trendy? fuck outta here with that bullshit.

your fandom is the reason for the vast majority of the absolutely subhuman treatment john has endured over the last few years. your fandom influenced ryan (yes i know what his name is) to write tlj the way he did, you have behaved indefensibly here on tumblr.hell writing and drawing and fantasizing about all sorts of racist bullshit, and y’all have STAYED in his twitter mentions spewing hatred seven ways to sunday. but NOW, without a shred of self-reflection, you’re supporting him? now his experiences are valid?

the way that your fandom refuses to take accountability for its actions makes me see red. y’all stay on some “not all reylos” nonsense and i am SICK OF IT. i’m only gonna say this once, and i want you to hear me: you cannot be a reylo and be “antiracist”. you cannot participate in a fandom that has behaved the way yours has and say “blm, uwu acab.” you can’t. like do you think black people are dumb? that we can’t see right through you? we can.

“but rae,” i hear you whining. “you’re gonna say just because i like two characters together i’m a racist?” and of course not. that would be ludicrous. i think just because you knowingly engage and participate in a fandom that has racism encoded in its dna, you’re a racist. i think because y’all are in bed with racist harassers, racist trolls, and racist content creators, you’re a racist. that’s what the fuck i think. y’all lost the right to “it’s just a ship” me the instant you dragged john boyega into this.

here’s an example: i watched tfa about three days after it came out. i watched the first half, saw the obvious relationship set up between finn and rey, and thought, “aw, cute.” then i watched kylo and rey fight, watch him offer to teach her, and thought, “... interesting.”

when i got home i checked tumblr for finnrey content, saw the outpouring of love from black fans, all the cute fanart and fics blooming, and smiled. then, slowly, guiltily, i searched “reylo.”

BOOM. racism. the things i saw in the tag that night are tattooed on my brain. reylos rejoicing about the obvious rey/kyle pairing because “sw would never put her with that monkey finn”. calling him an “oaf”, “useless”, “bumbling”, “stupid”. reylos joking about how “when they talked about the Dark side, [they] didn’t think they meant that kind of dark.” “woke” reylos pretending to ship stormpilot in an obvious ploy to get finn away from kylo. and in between all of that, cute ship art. fun fics. talented gif makers. and nobody saying shit about the reprehensible behavior going on in their tag.

reylo is built on a foundation of racism. from that first week, racism has been woven into the fabric of your fandom, and it’s been going unchecked. and i don’t mean calling out other reylos. that’s not enough. i mean taking actual steps. y’all have been sitting in a cesspool of racism for five years, and its time for you to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up about being an “ally”. y’all need to leave this fandom.

don’t agree? here’s another story. in 2017, when i still watched supergirl (before i grew taste) i shipped karamel. for those of you who don’t know, karamel is the ship of kara zor-el (supergirl) and mon-el, her second love interest. when supergirl was moved to the cw for its second season, the decision was made to abruptly end her romance with jimmy olsen, played by mecahd brooks (a black man) and replace him with mon-el, played by chris wood, a white man, who was revealed to be, among other things, an alien slaveowner, as well as a playboy and all-around terrible person. and i shipped them. look, i’m not defending myself, but i never really bought the chemistry between jimmy and kara. even though mon-el’s introduction and the way that they carelessly disregarded kara’s feelings for jimmy made me uncomfortable, i thought the way melissa played her attraction to chris wood was more believable (and again, i’m not defending myself, but they are now married so it’s not like i was wrong). so i shipped them. simple as that, right?

well, no. not really. because the inherent racism in the way the writers wrote out her admittedly sweet romance with a black man in favor of a white slaveowner jerk kept bothering me. and finally i decided that it made me too uncomfortable to participate in. i never really reblogged any karamel fandom stuff, but i completely divorced myself from the fandom. i stopped reading karamel fic, and i switched to reblogging exclusively jimmy/kara content until the fandom died out/i stopped watching. i made a choice that real life racism is more important to me than a fucking fandom or a ship, and then i acted accordingly. simple as that.

and i’m not saying you have to stop liking the reylo dynamic. i still like the chemistry between kara and mon-el. i’ve shipped problematic ships before (bamon comes to mind) and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that (to a point). but there’s a difference between liking a ship dynamic and engaging and contributing to a fan culture of racism. you have to stop participating in the fandom. y’all are in bed with people indistinguishable from confederate-flag-waving-all-lives-matter-touting racists and you don’t feel the need to get out of that environment? there comes a certain point where you have to decide if fandom bullshit is more important to you than fighting racism, and unfortunately, reylos have chosen wrong. that, ladies and gentlemen, is why all reylos are racist, regardless of what they say. roll credits.

except i have more to say, so i’m gonna say it. first of all, i’m not trying to hold myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue. i’m not holier-than-thou because all my ships are “woke” or whatever. chemistry is subjective, and we’re all going to be attracted to different ship dynamics, and there’s nothing wrong with that in theory. what matters is the execution. i finally had to say one day, “you know, this ship and the racist baggage it carries is actually less important to me than battling systemic racism on every level, including the fandom level”. y’all thought being antiracist was gonna be easy? that you wouldn’t have to make some actual changes, to make some actual sacrifices? sorry not sorry to disappoint. and if i, a normal-ass person with flaws and problematic thinking that i’m still dealing with and the whole ine yards, can make that decision, then other people should be required to as well.

(what really irks me is that the karamel fandom wasn’t even really that bad! i definitely could have gotten away with being a karamel stan in 2017. thankfully the supercat and supercorp shippers were doing the lord’s work and bullying them into submission (don’t think i’m letting y’all off the hook either, y’all have got some racism to deal with as well but that’s an essay for another day) but like most of the racism happened at the writing level; the fandom itself wasn’t engaging in racist clownery on the regular. but like the reylos are. y’all see racist bullshit coming from your neighbor, fav fic writer, artist, gif maker, whatever, and don’t say shit? don’t feel the need to distance yourself from them? gtfoh.)

i made this argument earlier when i was on my rampage (which i’m still on btw so don’t clown in my inbox, you will get your shit rocked) but i’m going to make it again because i feel like its important to note. when i pointed out that existing in the reylo fandom while you are aware of its racism makes you complicit in that racism, a white reylo told me earlier that (paraphrasing, my memory’s not as good as it used to be and i did mention that they’d blocked me) “you don’t solve a problem like systemic racism by ignoring it. leaving the fandom would be allowing it to happen.” when i pointed out that that’s police officer rhetoric almost verbatim, she (a white reylo) admonished me (a black woman) not to compare police brutality to a “ship war.” lmao.

look, clearly y’all need a refresher on what “systemic” means. it means, quite simply, that there are systems, large and small, allow for racism to exist, and it also means that allowing for racism to exist on the small scale means expecting it on a large one. like you think police officers spring fully formed from the head with racist ideals already ingrained? no! they learn it and learn to justify it with “well just because my friend made a racist joke doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because i laughed at my friend’s using a racist term in my video game doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because my friend is a racist doesn’t mean i’m a racist” and then we have people watching their coworkers kneel on a man’s back for 8 minutes with no remorse. i’m not gonna solve police brutality by fighting reylos on tumblr, but fandom racism is real racism with consequences on our world, and i don’t tolerate ANY type of racism. and the fact that you are so willing to not just tolerate it but justify it should say something to you.

and not all reylos are like this. similar to cops, good reylos don’t last. i have seen people grow so disgusted by the racism in the reylo fandom that they publicly turned their backs on it, and those reylos i respect. you’ve heard of “the only good cop is an ex-cop” well get ready for “the only good reylo is an ex-reylo”.

(and also like far be it from me to justify a cop but one could at least say they have their livelihoods to think about (not like they couldn’t just pick a nonmurderous profession but i digress) but you reylos can’t even choose between taking a stance against the hateful and unjustified bullying of a man who had the audacity to… get a job (?)... over a ship? come on now.)

the point of all this is, for all their posturing about “being antiracist” and “fuck 12” and “support john boyega”, reylos have decided that a relationship between two fictional people is more important than all the black and brown people who are hurt by that decision and the consequences of that decision. and before y’all pull some “b-but there are POC reylos!” (stop fucking using poc as an adjective, its a noun, it stands for person of color, please use it as such) internalized racism is a thing. busting out your token “reylo of color” (see how easy that was?) is not going to change my mind. all reylos are complicit in the racism of their peers, and being complicit makes you culpable. full stop.

and that is why the public support of john boyega from the reylo fandom has me seeing red. renounce your fandom or keep that man’s name out of your mouth. anyway, this was long and ranty and entirely stream-of-consciousness and i’m refusing to edit it so it’s probably completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me but if you made it this far thanks for reading ig. all reylos are racist, blm, fuck 12, acab, stan john boyega, don’t clown in my inbox unless you’re coming to bully me for being a karamel shipper, which i deserve (or do, i couldn’t give less of a fuck). good night.

#john boyega #anti reylo #raetalks

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