#deamus incorrect quotes

[poseidons-getting-milk]

Half-Blood Prince is like:

Hermione: I wish Ron liked me back

Ron: I wish Hermione liked me back

Lavender: I wish Ron liked me back

Ginny: I wish Harry liked me back

Dean: I wish Ginny liked me back

Seamus: I wish dean liked me back

Harry: I wish Ginny liked me back

Draco: The only way to save myself and my family is to kill Dumbledore which will end the rest of the entire wizarding world, Snape and Harry won’t get off my back, and i have no idea how to fix the magic cabinet but if i fail GrayBack will kill me and my mother

Snape: I wish Lilly liked me back

[hpseeker99]

Dean: Nice onesie, does it come in men? Harry, annoyed: Oh I think you come in men enough for all of us Ron: Hermione: Neville: Ginny: Luna: The entire Gryffindor common room: Seamus: Oh I'm so proud of you <3

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Harry: I am 100% straight. Hermione: Cedric Diggory in his quidditch robes, in his Yule Ball robes, Cedric Diggory towering over you, his eyes twinkling- Harry: I am 50% straight. Hermione: … Everyone: … Hermione: Right. Cho Chang. Harry: … is a girl. So, er, 100% straight. Ron: Even I know that’s not how math works. Harry: Alright fine! So, 50% straight then. Ron: And 50% gay. Dean: Harry mate, that’s called being bi you dickwad. Harry: SO THAT’S WHAT THAT IS! Everyone: … Harry: Wait, you’re telling me not everyone finds both attractive? Is that not straight at all?! Everyone: …

[crackishincorrecthp]

Seamus: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Dean: What the hell?! Seamus: Oh, sorry, my bad! Seamus, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Dean, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

[dinosaur-soup]

harry potter characters as things my friends have said

ron (about snape): EW SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE HIM BUT HE'S SO GREASY

--

sirius: ik you're not a smoking hot alpha but remus would want you to try

--

ron: HOMEWORK IS FOR LEMONS actually no lemons are cool what’s an insulting fruit

harry: I dont particularly like kiwis

ron: HOMEWORK IS FOR KIWIS

--

ron: harry i wanna open your eyes to the amazing possibilities (most are admittedly made of bread and cheese just like pizza)

--

crabbe: but tbh the sexual tension between me and the desire to commit arson and then jump in that fire too

--

harry: we’re cyberbullying the minister on moviestarplanet

--

neville: interesting, so i wouldn’t be prosecuted for having muppets most wanted on my old phone from when i was 14?

--

luna: those are some nice eye sockets you've got

ginny: Thank you they’re designer

--

dean: im not american shut up leprechaun

seamus: that's leprephobic

--

bellatrix: I love my friends from the Death Eaters we swapped contact details I’ll call them when I’m in prison

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hermione: just read the swedish dictionary ron it's not that hard 🙄

--

harry (to himself): Okay for the entire three hours just scream. If they scream back, scream louder 💞

[potionsunderthestairs]

Seamus: Oh, look at all the pretties!

Dean: Can you please stop talking about grenades the same way girls talk about shoes?

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

Harry: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?  Seamus: Yes, Longbottom’s going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Dean’s gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

[bardsexlovers]

Seamus: Are you guys ready to go?

Ron: Yeah!

Harry: Yep.

Dean: Yeah, dear.

Ron:

Harry:

Seamus, blushing:

Dean: 

Dean: I meant Dean.

Harry: You're Dean.

[jaylikesrainbowtigers]

Harry Potter as Incorrect Quotes

But I am not doing this properly. Oh no I am stealing quotes from my friends. And therefore annoy the unnamed author who we don’t support. Because my friends are very queer.

Harry: I don’t like good looking people.

Hermione: All the people I know are awful.

Ron: We guys have weinuses, but girls have waginas.

Draco: Why would she reject Harry Potter??

Pansy: You ready to see a feet master at work?

Blaise: Everybody knows the french aren’t people.

Ginny: I’m a Weeble Wooble, but I don’t fall down.

Luna: I’m flattered that someone would take the time to stalk me.

Neville: I look like a bacteria.

Dean, when talking about Halloween: I should just get some talcum powder and dress up as a white person.

Seamus: Arson is cool, a crime that’s not arson is a waste of a crime, and if the answer is not arson then the answer is wrong.

[rockinggirl06]

Wattpad + Tumblr Masterlist

Seamus: Do you remember that horrible roommate you had back in Hogwarts?

Dean: you mean you?

- -

Pffft Seamus Finnigan who? I only know Seamus lets-freaking-blow-stuff-up Finnigan

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Seamus: Wanna be my partner for the Potions project?

Dean: Sure, but if anything explodes again, you're telling Snape.

[hufflepufffle]

need i remind you that ronald weasley, aged eleven, didn’t know that he had just sat in ~the harry potter~’s compartment and offered half of his sandwich to this random boy on the train who he’d only just met, because he was all alone and seemed to have no food,

i’m sick of the ron slander

[chasegrangerkingdom]

Seamus: Wanna see a trick?

Dean: The last time you showed me a trick it took two weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Part 2 of Seamus trying to flirt with Dean (they’re hopelessly in love)

Seamus: I’m into you… Seamus: But I’d much prefer you being inside me :) Dean: Seamus: Wait that came out wrong- I- I meant I’d much rather be inside y- Dean: Bottom behaviour for real. Seamus: … Dean: But I suppose I already knew this about you. Seamus: StOp-

[crackishincorrecthp]

Dean: Seamus, I think we have a problem Seamus: What, the fire? Dean: No, the- wait, what fire? Seamus: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting!

[thenilofernoorulain]

Dean: Seamus! You look hot as fuck in that dress robe.

Seamus: thanks, mate

Dean: no homo though

Harry, Ron and Neville: it was all homo though