#incorrect hp

[daddiesdrarryy]

Remus: Reg, I need you to switch with me. I can’t tutor Sirius anymore

Regulus: Why? Are you guys fighting?

Remus: No we’re not, but that’s exactly why. All Sirius does is look at me with those eyes when I teach him, you know, the eyes!

Regulus: …right. I think that’s because he loves you

Remus: That’s the problem, we always end up in bed mid-lesson. It’s getting concerning, you have to switch with me, I’ll teach James instead

Regulus: …

Regulus: We have the same problem. Let’s switch

James: Wait no!

[hpseeker99]

The Daily Prophet: Three people have reportedly broken into the Gringotts. McGonagall, scoffing: What idiots *Front cover on the daily prophet, showing Harry, Ron, and Hermione riding a dragon out of the building* McGonagall: Wait, those are my idiots

[allaboutlov3]

I can’t stop thinking about the discussion James and Regulus must have had when Harry was sorted into Gryffindor. James would smirk at Regulus for a looooong time.

But oh how sweet Regulus comeback was when Harry was chosen as seeker for the quidditch team.

[that-bitch-kat3]

lily evans: can you imagine being mad at me lol? like how’d you let a 5’2” bitch piss you off? tf?

[fluxweedstem]

Snape: I think you should play the role of my father.

Albus: I don’t want to be your father.

Snape: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

[takeariskao3]

@petalsinwoodvale i'm not done apparently

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Remus, walking into the kitchen: What's for dinner?

Sirius, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

c: @incorrectfizzarozzie

[vent-mon-hyperespace]

Lily: I’m going to take you out

James: great, it’s a date!

Lily: I meant that as a threat.

James: See you at five!

[jameskinniesrise]

Lily: Severus Snape, you have the right to remain

Sirius: A fucking loser, hah!

[samsonova-multiverse]

Том: Я в него действительно влюблен.

Люциус: Мой Лорд, вам 70, а Поттеру 15…

Том: Возраст - всего лишь цифра.

Люциус: Ну, да. А Азкабан - всего лишь здание.

[daddiesdrarryy]

James: Hey guys, Reg and I were thinking of having a big paintball game together

Peter: Prongs, why does Reggie want to shoot you?

James: He doesn’t want to shoot me

Sirius: Who doesn’t want to shoot you?

James: Reggie!

Sirius: No, that doesn’t sound right

James: He just wants to play Muggle paintball! It combines my love of whimsy with his love of making other grown men cry

Sirius: Sounds fun. Moony and I are in

Peter: You don’t need to ask him?

Sirius: No, I’ve been pretty annoying lately. He’s gonna want to shoot me

[hpseeker99]

McGonagall: Ok so you hate Potter, now you hate Weasley. How many enemies do you have exactly? Snape, without hesitation: 37 Snape: It was 36, but then my bitch neighbor had a baby

[allaboutlov3]

The Seekers Tale AU

Harry tries to teach Draco how to conjure a Patronus. But Draco struggles since happy memories don't come naturally to him.

Harry: Just think about something or someone that makes you happy. Maybe your mom? Or..or your home? Or holidays? Or...

Draco *just blinks*

Harry: I'm not really helpful, am I?

[logolepsy-babble]

Mulciber makes fun of Regulus’ death and it makes it to Bellatrix

Bellatrix: Hello boy!

Mulciber: Do I know you?

Bellatrix: You don’t see the family resemblance?

Mulciber: Of what? A rubbish bin? (Laughs)

Bellatrix, lifts her hair up by her hands: I’m the youngest Black and I’m so moody and quiet all the time. (she drops her hair) Ring a bell? (Wand to his necks) You should laugh, that was funny.

[fluxweedstem]

Hermione: I know you’re like a father to Harry—

Snape: Did he say that? Did you get it on tape?

Hermione: No, I—

Snape: No he didn’t say it or no you didn’t get it on tape?