#deciding where to cut a chapter off is impossible

[skiitter]

Chapter Three! A kidnapping, a promise, and the number nine.

[everythingacotarbxm1012]

They're Mates - with Y/N Pt 3

Summary - Y/N decides she wants to learn to fly again.

Warnings/Other Notes - This one is in 2nd person pov because the first two chapters were looking at Y/N and Az’s relationship from a source not within their relationship. 2k word chapter- Again, some of these lines/plot points are inspired by, or directly quoted from, ACOMAF. This chapter takes place prior to the first two chapters.

Injury mentioned, though not super graphically. Reader relives/remembers having her wings cut.

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Masterlist

✨💫

You could feel the blade cutting into your wings. Tears spilled down your face as you screamed in pain, begging the Mother to make it stop. You were never going to fly again. The one thing that brought you unending joy, your only source of freedom, was being taken away.

“Y/N?”

The edges of your memories blurred. That voice, you recognized that voice.

“Y/N?!”

That sweet, honey-like voice called you. Something in you warmed and the pain lessened. Like you were basking in the sun.

“Y/N!”

You shot up in bed, your legs tangled in the sheets. A cold sweat dripped down your face and that same smooth voice kept saying something, but your mind was still catching up and couldn’t process them, not right now. Your chest rose and fell rapidly and then there were hands cupping your face. Not those smooth hands in the romance novels, but hands with bravery and adventure etched into them. Hands that felt like home. Your eyes shot up to meet a pair of hazel ones. Azriel.

“You’re safe. I’m here, your safe. Your father can’t touch you anymore,” the shadowsinger whispered to you. 

You nodded and leaned forward to wrap your arms around him. He reciprocated. You chased away the nightmare, remembering where you were. I’m here with Azriel. With Cassian, and Rhysand. With Rhys’s mother. Az saved you. Your arms tightened slightly around the shadowsinger, burrying your face into his muscular shoulder. His shadows curled around the both of you. His scent felt like home. The same scent that you had become familiar with every time you fell asleep, the one still lingering in the bedding when you woke up and he was gone off to train, with a promise to come back in time for dinner.

Sharing a bed with the Illyrian didn’t start right away, not on purpose. It just happened one night. Azriel never made it back to his own bed, instead he fell asleep comforting you from the same nightmare. Then it became purposeful, falling asleep and not returning to his own chambers. And one night the shadowsinger didn’t even bother finding his way into his own bed, Az just went straight to yours. You certainly didn’t mind and Rhys’s mother never said anything.

“Azriel?” You asked against his shoulder.

He placed the gentlest kiss to your temple. One that reminded you of a waltz you heard one day in Velaris. “Yes?”

You lifted your eyes to look at Az’s face. “What if I never fly again?” Your chest started heaving again. You broke away from the shadowsinger and looked away. It felt like someone had lit a fire inside you. Not one that someone makes to keep you warm on an incredibly chilly night, but a fire started out of malice, one to kill and destroy.

Azriel’s features became softer, contemplative if that was at all possible. “Impossible…because I’ll teach you.” 

Your eyes shot up to his face. “Are you…certain? Do you not need to train? I don’t—”

“I would spend the rest of my life in that damned cell for you again, Y/N.” He paused. “Don’t think I wouldn’t teach you to fly. Unlike Cass and Rhys I remember learning. Both of them would tell you to just flap your wings. I understand the fears and mental blocks of being older.”

You let out the softest laugh, wiping a drop of sweat from your forehead. “Thank you, Azriel.”

He nodded in his silence, considering something a moment. Az stood from the bed, his pants sitting low on his hips as he disappeared into the washroom and reappeared a few moments later with a damp cloth. “May I?”

You nodded and he gently pressed the cool cloth to your forehead, making the sweat disappear as if it had never happened. His shadows flitted through your hair. Whispering to you. Care. Care. Care.

The shadowsinger tried to call them back, but they had a mind of their own, especially around you. You chuckled lightly. Silly little guys, acting like a bunch of toddlers. When Az decided he had done a sufficient job of wiping your face he pressed another kiss to your forehead before hanging the cloth to dry and returned. 

You were lying down in the bed when he returned. He climbed in next to you before pulling you against him. You both fell asleep and slept soundly for the rest of the night.

The following day you went into Velaris with Rhysand’s mother to run a few errands. Her skills as a seamstress were impressive and she used it as an opportunity to occupy a portion of her time. You stopped at your favorite bakery to pick up a few things for dinner that evening. You also found a used book on diplomacy that was on sale. Rhys’s mother kindly bought it for you; well maybe more for Azriel’s shadow who seemed desperately intrigued with it. When you returned home, to your surprise, Trouble, More Trouble, and Too Much Trouble, were already there. (Nicknames you had aptly given to Azriel, Rhysand, and Cassian.)

Too Much Trouble grinned when he saw you and clapped his brother on the back. “This one here got us kicked out early today for starting not one, not two, but three fights. I mean he looked like death coming to collect souls for the next life. Don’t insult, Y/N!!”

“Shut up, Cassian,” Rhys said, giving a pointed look.

“You weren’t any use, Cassian,” Azriel growled back while shoving his brother’s hand away from his shoulder. Az had a black eye and dried blood along his cheek bone. He didn’t meet your gaze but his shadows happily slithered over to you. Protect, Protect, Protect, they whispered to you. Then you understood the shadows’ need to be near you, hovering. The reason why you had a shadow over your shoulder since Az saved you from your father. A form of protection, something to keep you safe, something to report back to the shadowsinger if you were in danger. 

And that’s exactly what Azriel had done earlier that day. Defended you without remorse. 

You glanced at Cassian who had a bruise on his jaw and then to Rhys who also had a black eye. Rhys’s mother looked far from pleased. “Cassian. Rhysand. Upstairs! Clean yourselves up.” Her gaze turned to the shadowsinger. “Azriel. Sit .” She announced as she put the bags down from your earlier trip to Velaris. 

For all her softness, Rhys’s mother certainly had a sharpness to her not often seen. Rhys and Cass’s wings hung ever so slightly and only for a moment before they shifted again and they disappeared up the stairs. You followed them.

When you got to your room, you opened the book bought earlier that day and began reading on the bed. The sheets still smelled of him, of both of you. The shadow rested on your shoulder, appearing deeply engrossed in the words too. About fifteen minutes later you could hear the shadowsinger coming up the stairs. You knew it was him for the sole reason of his footsteps. You had learned how Azriel, Rhysand, and Cassian walked. The heaviness of their feet, the pace.

You could hear Az and Rhys out in the hall. “Your mom wants you,” is all you heard before Rhys is walking downstairs and the shadowsinger is walking into your room. You closed your book to look up at him.

“C’mon.” The shadowsinger stepped towards the small balcony and opened the doors. “You can’t learn to fly in here.”

“What,” you asked him, confused.

“You think I started the third fight for the fun of it?” Azriel asked, offering his hand out to you.

You only gave him a confused look, remaining on the bed.

He walked back towards the bed where you sat reaching for your boots. He knelt down on his knees. “Sure, the moron had it coming. That doesn’t change the fact that fighting with him for a third time got me the afternoon off to teach someone how to fly.”

Your mouth fell agape. “Azriel,” you admonished and a smile came over the shadowsinger’s lips before pulling on your boots. “I am perfectly capable of putting on my shoes, Az.”

He only offered you a hand after he tied them up. You took it before he swept you into his arms. You craved his embrace, more than so many other things. Azriel walked back towards the balcony and shot into the sky.

You never imagined how some people hate this, because Gods this felt good, felt like freedom. It reminded you of your childhood when you flew whenever you could, as if flying up into the sky might take you away from all of your problems. You just hoped the next time you flew it would be on your own wings.

Azriel landed in a clearing, gently placing you down on the ground carefully, to make sure you didn’t fall. “I want you to be careful. If anything hurts too—”

“I promise I’ll tell you,” you said to him with a nod. 

“Is it…is it okay…okay if I touch your wings? For correction I mean? Should it be… necessary?” The shadowsinger asked from behind you, almost nervously. For good reason. The concept of touching someone’s wings without permission, in particular females, was beyond inappropriate. 

You nodded, you could sense the shadowsinger behind you, observing your wings carefully. You could feel his eyes scanning up and down. “Azriel?” You asked quietly.

“I can’t say I am a healer and know the anatomy well, but perhaps we start at the beginning. Test the muscles, the ligaments.”

You nod, something feeling oddly intimate about the moment. You turn to face the shadowsinger whose face had contemplating written all over it.

“Try spreading them and tucking them in,” he said as you faced each other. 

You nodded, spreading your wings as best you could. Mother above you hadn’t actually tried to do this in a while. You grimaced but managed to spread them, pushing them to your full extent, spreading your feet to offer you more balance.

A small smile of pride was clear on Azriel’s face. “Now fold inward.”

You did, slowly, afraid to tear or rip something in your wings. You couldn’t stop the smile when you folded inward with success. 

“Good,” he said with a mild amusement in his eyes. “Try again.”

You spread your wings again, your muscles ached, but that was good. That meant they were there, that meant you had a chance. 

Azriel’s eyes followed the movements, and cauldron boil him if your form wasn’t the most stunning thing he had ever seen. The shadowsinger had to put more concentration into not letting his knees buckle under him than he would like to admit. Beautiful. Stunning. Lovely. Beautiful, stunning. Lovely, his shadows whispered in his ear.

You pulled your wings shut rather than slowly closing them which caused you to lose your balance slightly, falling forward. Azriel reached out to catch you before you could land on the ground with a light amusement in his eyes before he suddenly realized how close in proximity you were to him. 

You’d been this close before. By the Gods, you shared a bed every night, but something felt different. You gently rest your hands against the shadowsinger’s chest in silence. 

“Y/N?” He asked quietly, hands shifting to cup either side of your face.

You looked up to see his face leaning down slightly. “Azriel.”

You don’t know who leaned in first, maybe Azriel, maybe you. It didn’t matter, because moments later the shadowsinger’s lips were on yours. They were sweet, and salty, and soft and warm. Like a warm biscuit on a cold night. Your fingers wound up in his hair before he pulled away. “Was that okay?”

His response was pulling your lips to his again, harder, more desperately like he had lived in a dry desert for centuries and you were a tiny pool of water in the middle of it all.

You returned to opening and closing your wings, building the muscle until it was as easy as walking, though it certainly felt like the cauldron was burning you alive when you woke up the following morning. But you couldn’t be bothered, you were going to fly again.

Taglist: @5onedirection5

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

june

a summer in dunbrook, part one

a/n: i desperately needed something comforting and familiar to sit and fiddle with this summer, so this is what happened: a little mini series to continue lilac! just a cute little summer in their lives ৎ୭

summary: “oh, hi,” Frank’s brows rose up as he glanced down at the dog firmly planting itself by your feet, “who is this?”

warnings: lumberjack!frank castle x reader, sequel to lilac, smut, lumberjack AU, a cutie patootie dog (yes, we're basically turning this into one of those wholesome dog movies), kissing, size kink, dirty talk, manhandling, fingering, sex toys, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, penetrative sex, anal, double penetration, some pain (frank is just too damn big and reader is too stubborn/greedy for it as we all are), unprotected sex (because this is just porn. no one is getting pregnant, I’m just craving the intimacy. let them be hoes and live out the fantasy)

word count: 4138

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

series masterlist | next chapter

masterlist | join my taglist

“You know, you could help me,” you grumbled with your head half stuffed inside a messy cardboard box. 

“I don’t know…” Frank let an exhale flow through his smirk as he raised his mug of black coffee back up to his lips, “I like you without pants.”

Shooting him a glance as he leisurely leaned back against the kitchen counter and enjoyed the show of you running around like a headless chicken, you said, “oh yeah? Do you really want me to go to the inn like this?” and gestured to your half-dressed state, then swiftly ripped open another box and mumbled, “I knew I should have packed my summer clothes somewhere obvious. Of course the heat decides to finally hit right when I move into the cabin and everything is impossible to find…”

You were truly regretting the decision not to label any of the moving boxes. You’d thought you wouldn’t need to bother with how few items you had to take with you, but evidently, you should have, now that the few boxes seemed impossible to sort through. 

Setting down his mug, Frank then slowly closed the distance between him and the container balanced on the couch. His hand only seemed to disappear into it a fraction of a second before it raised back up into the air, now with a pair of your shorts miraculously dangling from his grip.

Your eyes grew wide, “how did you–…” before, utterly dumbfounded, you reached out for them. 

Briefly, he bent down and pressed his lips to your hairline, “sometimes you just can’t see the thing lying right in front of you.”

Blinking back up into his gaze, a smile tugged at your lips.

“Thank you,” an exhale flowed from you as the frantic stress of the search slowly melted away. 

As you shimmied the linen shorts on, you truly let yourself notice the moving boxes littering Frank’s cabin, or rather, your shared cabin, your home. 

It had been yesterday when you finally found the time to pack down everything and haul it over, even though you’d been talking about it for what felt like forever. It would probably take a little longer before it stopped feeling like a dream, but in this blissful moment, it sank in just a little bit more, enough to prevent you from pinching yourself.

“When do you get off?” Frank asked as you tugged a pair of sandals on, “four?”

“Yeah, probably,” you swung your bag over your shoulder. 

“Alright, I’ll come pick you up then,” his words caused the corners of your lips to tilt upwards. 

Your feet then shuffled, not in the direction of the door, but the opposite way, where Frank still stood. Raising yourself up onto your tiptoes, you pressed your lips to his in a soft peck and sighed, “I love you…”

“Have a good day,” he uttered back in the slim space between you. 

“…and over here and here are some really great trails if you wanna go for a hike,” you circled on the folded map before glancing back up at the guests leaning against the front desk, “one cuts through the woods and goes on next to some farmland where you’ll probably bump into some cows, maybe sheep, whereas the other one goes up some of the mountains, so you get an amazing view.”

“Oh, great,” one of the women smiled as you slid the map back into her palms, “thank you so much!”

“Of course, you’re welcome,” your head tilted in a gentle nod as they trotted out the inn’s front door.

On the veranda, the other lady called over her shoulder to you, “bye!” before she seized her companion’s hand and they disappeared from your sight. 

As you popped the blue pen in your grasp back in the ceramic mug behind the desk, reuniting it with all its other brethren, you felt something brush up against your leg. 

Glancing down, your eyebrows swiftly shot up at the sight that met you. 

A dog. 

A big, fluffy golden retriever to be exact. 

“Oh… hello,” you blinked, “where did you come from?”

The animal however didn’t offer you an answer but instead simply dashed out of the still-open door, onto the porch and around towards the garden. 

With a bewildered gaze, you rounded into the dining room and asked your father as he was gathering the last remaining dishes from this morning, “hey, yesterday, when I got off early to take care of the whole move, did someone new check-in? Someone that had a dog with them?”

“A dog? No,” Harvey puffed as he balanced a stack of plates, “no one checked in last night, with or without a pet.”

Shadowing him as he strode into the kitchen and dumped the dishes into the soapy sink, your brows stayed furrowed, “you sure? Because I literally just saw one.”

A chuckle then burst out your dad’s lungs, “yeah, right you did.”

“No, I really did, I’m not kidding.”

Halting his scrubbing, he glanced back at you and warily scanned your features, “you alright, honey? Is this seeing a dog code for something? Blink twice if you wanna move back home.”

“Oh my god, no,” you groaned at his jest and then spotted a golden flicker of movement out the window to the garden, “see,” you pointed, “it’s right there, I’m not lying.” 

Following the line of your outstretched finger, the moustachioed man’s face then dropped as he spotted the dog energetically rolling in the grass before it ran over to a rusty bucket to lap at the old rainwater within, “well I’ll be damned…” 

“…are you sure you don’t wanna come in and join me for dinner?” the brash tone of Donna carried on the wind and found your ears as you descended the porch steps.

“No, thank you, ma’am,” Frank declined, seemingly cornered by the voluptuous woman as he waited by his dark navy truck, “I already have plans tonight.”

“As you seem to have every time I ask you… guess I’ll just have to try a bit harder then,” Donna’s gaze lapped him up, “catch you off guard…”

Like an angel sent to save him, his face lit up at he spotted you, “Y/n! Hey, how was your day?”

The gravel beneath your sandals rusted as you first turned your attention towards your old educator, “Donna, please stop flirting with Frank,” you held back a chuckle, “you know how uncomfortable it makes him.”

“I know, I know, it’s just too fun watching him squirm,” she offered him a wink before she sauntered past you with a brief pat to your shoulder and then went on, disappearing into the inn. 

Twisting your frame in Frank’s direction, he swiftly caught your hand and ushered you even closer.

“Hi,” a soft smile spread across your features before he stole a kiss. 

“Hi,” he quietly echoed before pressing his lips to yours again. 

The kiss however crumbled when a short bark sounded at your feet. 

“Oh, hi,” Frank’s brows rose up as he glanced down at the dog firmly planting itself by your feet, “who is this?”

“I don’t know,” you sucked in a breath, “it’s not one of the guests’, but it has been following me around all day. Wherever I’d go, whatever I’d do, I’d just turn around and there it was.”

Sinking down, he kneeled beside it to offer a scratch behind its ear, “well, you’re certainly not a stray,” his fingers found the green collar fasted around its neck and glanced at the small, round attachment dangling from it, “let’s see here… Enzo,” he read off the nameplate and flipped it in his palm. 

“Is there a number of the owner?” you asked, bending down a bit to run your fingers over the honied fur along Enzo’s spine. 

“No,” Frank exhaled and let the pendant slip out of his grasp, “but your home probably isn’t far,” both of his hands briefly came up to scratch the dog’s cheeks as he spoke to him, “you just need to go back there.”

After he’d risen back up to his full height, the dog attempted to jump into the car with you as soon as you swung the passenger door open, “hey, no! Go home!” you pointed in a vague direction. 

At first, you thought your command had succeeded as Enzo swiftly ran in your opposite direction, but then as his paws climbed the wide porch steps, your head tilted to the side as you watched him flop down and plant himself on the veranda. 

“O-oh…” the moan shuttered from your parted lips as Frank switched up the swirling pattern his touch had traced, playing with the wetness that leaked from your first orgasm, drawing tingling circles over your little rosebud before he then began to press just the tip of a glossy finger inside. 

You were half sitting in his lap, your spine melted back against his chest, as he peeked over your shoulder to grin down at the mess he made of you. 

A kiss was pressed to your hot cheek as your ass slowly swallowed more of his digit and you sucked in a sharp breath, your eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. 

“Relax, sweetheart,” his low timbre rumbled in your ear, “don’t forget to breathe now,” a reminder that your foggy mind truly needed at this point. 

His efforts were ever so gentle, easing his way inside, though contrastingly panted behind you and nearly moaned at how good you felt. 

“Fuck,” he cursed as you relaxed enough around him to let another finger inside, “you sure you want it today? Are you sure that you’re ready?”

“Frank,” your grip tightened slightly around his thick forearm as it flexed lightly at every gentle rock of his digits, “it’s nearly been a month,” you spoke impatiently about the prep, not unlike how he tickled you now, “I don’t wanna wait any longer. I wanna feel–, oh fuck–,” you whimpered as he tried to stuff another finger inside, “I-I wanna feel you–, y-your–,” your words began to melt into nothingness as that familiar storm began to brew within your being once again. 

“You wanna feel my cock stretch this little ass out?” he filled in as if that hadn’t been the most common wish on your tongue for the past season. 

“Mhm,” your head nodded, rocking back against his broadness. 

When the announcement of your inevitable peak tumbled off your tongue, to your surprise, the man behind you didn’t keep up the dizzying pattern his slick fingers had worked their way up to, but instead retracted them completely only to roll you both over onto your sides. As your face fell down upon the corner of a pillow, you almost twisted back around, nearly just let your itching fingers shoot down to take matters into your own hands, but then Frank yanked your hips back, not only pulling you closer to him, but effortlessly sinking you down onto his cock, your throbbing pussy swallowing him in one fell swoop. 

With the timing of it all, he almost didn’t get the chance to tilt back his hips and begin a rhythm, before your cunt clenched down around him and made his job that much more trying.

In the daze of your high, you weren’t quite sure if you got to lay there a moment and fade into the feeling, or if Frank seized the first opportunity he got to manhandle you into a different configuration. Sliding out of you, he positioned you on your wobbly knees and let your upper body melt down onto the mattress. 

Holding you upright by your hips, he then leaned down over you and planted kisses all along your goosebump-ridden spine. 

“How are you holding up, baby?”

“Oh,” your toes curled as you felt his hard length nuzzle against your dripping folds from the proximity, “uh-huh,” your arms hazily curved up to fold beneath your face, “I’m–, uh-huh…”

“You wanna try?” his soft question pierced through your fog. 

“Please.”

“Yeah?” his comforting weight then lightened against you as he straightened back up behind you. 

“Yeah,” you echoed, sluggishly wiggling your ass back against him when you felt him rub his bulbous tip against your puckered rosebud. 

As he then slowly dipped the head just shyly inside, it nearly sounded like a prayer as a mutter flowed through his controlled breath, “shh, relax for me, sweetheart. Let me in…”

He stilled his gentle efforts as soon as the very essence of him breached. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight…”

Though you’d prepared yourself and imagined what his girth would feel like splitting that part of you open, the stretch however was still much more severe than you’d expect, swiftly causing your puffs of air to come in ragged as he nearly didn’t fit and clearly had to use all his might for your little hole to let even the slightest bit of him in. 

Carefully leaning back down over you, Frank soothingly pressed his lips to your cheek before he checked, “you okay?” noticing how tense you suddenly were beneath him. 

Out of fear that he’d pick up too much information on the tone of your voice, you opted for a strained nod instead, nuzzling your face further into the bed as you panted. 

“Y/n,” your name rolled off his tongue, dripping in sincerity, “please don’t lie if you’re in pain.” 

“It doesn’t hurt,” your weak deception failed as soon as it left your lips. 

You weren’t sure however if he then chose to believe you or what, but he somehow bought the lie and instead reached for the bottle of lube tangled in the sheets.

After he’d cautiously added a little extra slickness, his broad palm floated down to soothe your spine as he pushed in another inch. 

Though as soon as a breathless squeak left your lungs, Frank froze up once again. 

“Y/n…” you heard him sigh from above you, “we talked about this…”

“No,” you insisted as the paralysing pleasure you felt drowned out the sting, “please, Frank.” 

“It's okay, you’re not ready yet–” 

“No, I am! Please don’t pull out!”

The motion revving up in his hips paused at your plea. 

“Honey, I'm not gonna hurt you,” his warm touch swept against the curve of your waist, “I know that you want this, but–”

“But please, Frank,” you interrupted, tilting your head around to catch his gaze, “trust me when I tell you not to stop,” sighing softly, you blinked up at him from your prone position, “don’t I feel really good?”

“Well,” the breath got caught slightly in his throat, “of course you do, but that’s not what this is about.” 

“Don’t you wanna know what it feels like to have your whole cock inside? Just how tight my little ass will squeeze you?” 

You watched as his jaw clenched, “baby, you gotta stop, it’s hard enough as it is to keep my head on while I’m inside of you. If you keep running your mouth like that I might–”

“What?” you taunted, “fuck me with more than just the tip?” 

Holding your gaze, his chest expanded with a handful of breaths before he then moved his hips again, just ever so slightly, studying how your face contorted at the minimal motion. 

“Oh my god,” you moaned as it became an impossible task to hold his fierce gaze “keep going, please,” you prayed even though your legs trembled beneath you. 

As he slowly found a gentle rhythm, he cautiously uttered, “talk to me, sweetheart. How does that feel?”

“It–, fuck, it’s so much,” a short and airy giggle slipped out past your whimper, “it feels amazing, but fuck it’s just so intense.” 

Every careful thrust he offered you pushed a tiny moan out of your lungs, like he was orchestrating a beautiful symphony that grew to a crescendo the more your body began to tingle, nearing the edge once again. 

“You’re doing so great, baby,” his touch grazed your propped-up backside, caressing you as he stared down at how you clung around his girth. 

“Nghh–, don’t stop,” you panted as your fingers tightened their grip on the crumbled duvet before the ever-present tremble to your frame grew and quaked into a tremor severe enough to lurch you off of Frank’s length and send you crashing down onto the mattress, nearly digging your way through it as yet another orgasm washed over you. 

The next thing you knew, Frank flipped you around, rolling you onto your back. You were still in a daze as he propped a pillow beneath your ass and folded your legs up high by your melted frame. 

Unsure what he had planned, if he was on the verge of kneeling down to lap up the nectar that dripped out of you, or perhaps even something much more nefarious, you instead, quite literally, took matters into your own hands.

Your eyes were barely open as you, through your stunned haze, reached down for his dick and tilted it enough so that it kissed your sore entrance. 

Taking the hint, Frank caught your flickering gaze long enough to nod, “deep breath, sweetheart,” and sank his cock back into your ass. 

Both of your arms curved down and over the backs of your thighs, gently holding them up as your partner gave you more of what you wanted. You didn’t care how overstimulated you still were from your all too recent high, in a way, the ecstasy of it made it easier for you to take him, even if tears did sting the corners of your eyes as you wiggled from the overwhelming sensation. 

“Fuck!” you croaked as he began to grow in confidence, straying away from just fucking you with the mere tip of him. 

Gradually, with each roll his hips offered, he let just a little bit more of him disappear into you, occasionally earning gasps as his length discovered new depths to stretch out and mould around his abundant thickness. 

As you blinked up at him, like a shadowing mountain above you, his own stare didn’t find yours as it stayed glued to where he split you open. 

“Oh, you’re doing so fucking well,” he groaned as he let a dollop of spit drop down to where you met, “I’m already halfway.”

“Halfway?” you mumbled, trying, though failing to glance down at the evidence, “I genuinely thought you were almost balls deep inside of me, holy shit–”

A small chuckle then rumbled in his chest at your flustered words, “you don’t have to take it all, especially not today,” he glanced up to catch your stare, “but you probably want to, right?” he worded before you had a chance to beg, “yeah, my girl can’t settle for just half. You’re all or nothing, even if it fucking breaks you.”

“I thought that’s what you liked about me,” you giggled up at him. 

“No,” he smiled, “that’s what I love about you,” before he jammed nearly the remainder in, with only a shy inch left before his heavy sack would press up against your slick skin. 

“O-oh my g–, ah!” you moaned, feeling like jello in his gasp. 

“There you go,” he grunted, almost hissing at how you felt around him, “that’s what you wanted, right?”

“Y-yes,” you blubbered through your haze. 

As his pelvis soon rutted up against yours, griding against your poor pussy as it drooled for him, “good job, baby,” he flashed you the proudest of smiles, “that’s my fucking girl.”

Curling a hand down to strum at your own clit, puffy and throbbing between your fingers as you began to roll it, Frank’s eye soon caught sight of it and just could resist budding in. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he stared down at the needy bubbles your cunt blew, “is your little pussy feeling neglected, huh? Is she feeling jealous?”

Your head nodded up at him as he reached down to replace your own digits. 

Unable to resist, he briefly pinched your folds apart to half-mock the way your hole clenched around nothing and winked up at him in want.

“You want me to give you some attention here too?” he circled your puffy pearl as his frame sank down over you to steal a chased kiss, “you wanna be filled up in both holes?” his nose nuzzled against yours as you felt two of his fingers plug you up. 

Even though you had at this point turned into an incoherent mess, you still attempted an answer, hazy at it though was, “y-yes, I–, please, Frank–”

Reaching far over your head with the glossy fingers that were no longer inside of you, his long grasp managed to pull the drawer in the bedside table open to snatch up a toy within it. He straightened back up above the puddle you’d become as he let his hand, already coated in your juices, briefly run along the silicon before he lowered it down and slowly filled you up.

He briefly slowed his own thrusts down as he buried the dildo deep inside your pussy, letting you attempt to conquer the uncatchable breath your lungs desperately expanded to find. 

Your wetness leaked down from around the toy with every drive he offered, dripping and lending his cock to slide that much more silkily in and out of your ass. 

As your creamy cunt began to squelch lewdly around the dildo, your fingers couldn’t help but flutter down to rub your clit, making it all that more intense. 

To be honest, you weren’t sure if you were on the verge of cumming again or passing out, but either way, you just sank into the feeling and trusted that Frank would catch you either way. 

“Oh, fuck,” Frank was the first to notice when you reached the peek once last time and your pussy gushed around the toy he teasingly drove within you.

The shuttering cry that tore its way out your lungs flew over your own head as you just shook beneath him, weakly rubbing your pussy as Frank yanked the dildo all the way out to admire the drizzle of juices that squirted out. As he continued to play with you, repeatedly plunging the silicone back in just to prolong the show that much further, you were just way too out of it to notice how your little ass milked his cock, squeezing down tight as he pumped you full. 

You couldn’t really move afterwards, barely even speak as every time you parted your lips, only a breathless giggle slipped out.

He was still there. 

When you got back to the inn the next day, laying on an oblong sunspot in the sitting room next to the reception was the amber-coloured ball of fluff you’d come to know as Enzo. 

It even reached the point that the following day he hadn’t gone home yet either.

So, as your heart began to ache more and more for the lovable lost creature, you decided to take him to the local vet, dragging Frank along as well for moral support.

Unfortunately, no matter how many times you asked the veterinarian to search, she couldn’t find a microchip. 

“Guess it’ll have to be the old-fashioned way,” the vet exhaled. 

“How do you mean?” you asked, your fingers ever tangled in Enzo’s fur as he layed on the exam table. 

“Well, put up some missing flyers while this little guy waits it out in the nearest kennel, which would be the one that’s about an hour away,” she pointed out the seclusion of the little town you all called home. 

“Oh…” you uttered quietly as your eyes flickered down to catch Enzo’s sparkly ones. 

Catching sight of the sombre look that glazed over your features, Frank gently nudged his elbow against your side and said, “we can help hang the posters up,” he caught your gaze as your head tilted back up, “and maybe spread the word, see if anyone recognises him.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I’m sure that if we ask Donna for help, she’ll be able to get the word out in record time.” 

But as your gaze fluttered back down the dog, the lump in your throat only seemed to grow. 

“Is there somewhere else he could stay?” you quietly asked the veterinarian, “somewhere a little more homely or even just closer?” 

“Well, you could always foster him,” she tilted her head, “that’s an option.”

Glancing up at Frank, your mouth parted slightly, though no words came out as you silently conversed, pleading with him for permission. 

It took you aback slightly to discover he didn’t need any convincing at all and swiftly replied, “yeah,” nodding gently before his gaze redirected to the vet, “we’ll do it.” 

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[inthe-dark-tonight]

Falling Into My Sins

chapter six: i wanna be the one

dbf!joel x fem!reader series - loosely inspired by the song skin by soccer mommy

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5

summary: joel tries to keep you off his mind while he has the house to himself on a friday night, until tommy shows up after your second date.

word count: 3.8k

series rating: E (18+ mdni)

warnings: joel’s pov, alcohol consumption, joel jerks it, mentions of blood/cleaning a wound, jealous!joel, tommy boasting a little bit

notes: well…… long time no see…. sorry for the extremely long wait on this chapter, life has been insane :,) special thanks to my tumblr mom @pr0ximamidnight for reading this chapter for me, ilysm you have no idea <3 i also hit a new follower milestone a little bit ago so thank you to everyone who follows & reads/interacts with any of my fics it means the world to me, truly 🤍 enjoy and let me know what you think of this chapter!!

It’s ten of eight and Tommy will be here any minute to pick you up. You spent all day wondering where he was planning to take you, and when you asked all he told you was to wear something nice. You check your bag one last time before leaving your room, glancing at your messages to see if Tommy texted you but all you see is an unread message from Joel this morning that reads Hey, I’ll be home tonight if you wanna stop by, i’d still really like to talk.

After staring at it for a moment, you shove your phone into your bag, closing your bedroom door behind you and heading down the stairs. Your dads not home tonight, which meant you thankfully wouldn’t be questioned about your date. When you get to the bottom of the stairs, you decide to wait on the porch for Tommy to get here. As you reach for the door knob and tug the door open, a gust of cool air pushes the door towards you, revealing a surprised Tommy standing there with his hand raised like he was about to knock on the door.

“Oh,” he says in a surprised tone. “Was just about to knock.” He lets out a small laugh.

Your cheeks heat up a little in embarrassment. “Sorry.” You let out a small laugh as well, smiling up at him.

As you step out, pulling the door shut behind you, Tommy’s eyes are glued to you. He clears his throat. “You look great.” he pauses for a moment. “I mean you always look great but-” he cuts himself off with a nervous laugh as he waits for your response.

Your cheeks warm up slightly at his words. “Thank you.” your eyes fall to the ground as you step off your front porch and start towards Tommy's truck.

Tommy walks beside you, hand lightly resting on your lower back to guide you as the two of you near the car. He moves his hand from your back as he reaches out to grab the door and you smile at him as he watches you step in and gently closes the door. You watch him, a small smile still on your face as you watch him round the front of the car and step in before taking off towards downtown.

Joel has the house to himself for once, which is quite rare for a Friday night. Sarah is staying over at a friend's house and normally Tommy would stop by for a beer or two, but he hasn't tonight, leaving Joel to finish a six pack on his own as his mind wanders. When he's working or around people, usually other women, he does a pretty good job at suppressing any thoughts of you, but when he's on his own there's no stopping his mind from drifting to thoughts of you.

Since even before the last time Joel saw you he had told himself he would stop seeing other women, he hadn't slept with any of them, only taken them out to try and keep his mind off you. But now he knew there was no use in trying to stop the way he was feeling, he needed to talk to you and tell you all of this, but you're impossible to get a hold of. He knows it's because of the way he's been acting, and rightfully so. The way he lied, telling you it was noting more than a fuck, showing up on dates with other women in front of you, it was all in an attempt to try and ignore the attraction he felt towards you.

Joel takes one last swig of beer, finishing the bottle off before setting it on the wooden coffee table in front of him and looking at the time, nine twenty. He lets out a sigh, standing up from his place on the couch and grabbing the cardboard pack full of empty bottles from the table. Once he starts walking towards the kitchen to discard the bottles his head feels a bit fuzzy, the effects of the alcohol finally setting in.

He walks slowly towards the stairs, holding onto the railing the whole way up and walking immediately towards his bathroom, leaving the door open a crack before turning on the shower. As the water warms up and steam slowly starts to fill the room, he unbuttons his jeans quickly removing them before placing a hand on the counter for support as his head continues to spin, flashes of you appearing when he closes his eyes. The way you looked the night the two of you first met, skin glistening and glowing under the colorful lights in the club as you swayed your hips enticingly. He can still remember so clearly the way that the heat of your body felt pressed up against him, how warm your skin was as he let his hands wander, the way your soft plush lips moved so naturally with his own.

Before Joel can stop it, he begins to feel a heat creeping up his chest and a stiffness growing in his boxers. A low grunt leaves his mouth as he looks down at himself. Damnit. He looks back at his reflection in the foggy mirror, broad shoulders slumped over and tired eyes staring back at himself as he lifts his hand to swipe over the condensation on the mirror. How much longer can he keep doing this? Jerking off to the thought of you at least once a week. How much longer can he go without touching your skin with his own hands? His imagination can only keep his desires at bay for so long.

“Fuck.” he exhales. This isn't helping.

Joel pushes himself off the counter and grabs the back of his shirt, pulling it up over his head in one swift motion and discarding it on the floor before carefully slipping out of his boxers. He groans as he pulls the fabric over his now fully hard cock and lets them fall to the floor. As he steps out of where they are pooled around his feet and towards the hot shower, he lets out a deep sigh before pulling back the shower and stepping into the thick steam.

He sucks in a breath through his teeth as the hot water beats down onto his throbbing cock before turning his back towards the running water. For a moment he stands there, eyes closed as he takes a few deep breaths trying to rid the thoughts running through his mind, head still spinning from the six pack he polished off. When he opens his eyes, they fall back down to where is cock is springing up towards the sparse hairs trailing to his belly button. He swallows thickly before reaching down to wrap his large hand around the thick base of his cock, closing his eyes and letting out a groan as he lightly squeezes. For a moment he stays still, trying to collect himself before he goes any further.

“God, this is so fuckin’ pathetic.” he grumbles to himself as he throws his head back.

He takes a deep breath, planting his free hand on the shower wall to brace himself as he looks back down at where his hand is wrapped around his painfully stiff cock. A shaky breath leaves his lips as he closes his eyes, images of you immediately appearing behind his closed lids. His hand moves slowly up his shaft, the warm water acting as a lubricant as he begins to lazily pump his fist. Your lips, your eyes, your skin, he thinks about when he bumped into you at the restaurant the other night, how soft your skin was under his rough hands when he stopped you from crashing into him. The scent of you has been lingering around him ever since that night, unable to clear it from his senses.

He starts to pick up his pace, giving a slight squeeze with each pump of his fist. The heat in his stomach is starting to build as he now imagines you on your knees in front of him, the way your soft lips would look wrapped around him as you take every inch. His mouth falls open and a low whine escapes him, he squeezes his eyes shut as the vision of how you would look peering up at him with your pretty eyes as he stuffs his cock into your mouth plays in his head. Your voice replays in his head, saying his name over and over so smoothly as his climax grows closer.

To tell the truth, he would do anything to have you actually here with him now. He would quit all this teasing and messing around once and for all if it meant he could finally taste you, and oh how he's been dying to taste you. Dreaming about it, fantasizing about how sweet your pretty pussy must taste, dying to sink into it. He swears he can hear the pretty moans leaving your mouth, feel your soft skin under the palms of his hands as he imagines them roaming your body. The image of you lying on his bed, back arched, moaning his name as you buck your hips into his mouth sends him over the edge.

A deep groan leaves Joel's mouth, eyes squeezing shut as he paints the shower wall. He stays still for a moment, breathing deeply as he stands up straight and begins to gather himself. His head falls back and he lets out a sigh as he opens his eyes to stare at the ceiling, thoughts still racing. As he turns to face the shower head, he wonders what you're up to tonight. A knot begins to form in his stomach at the possibilities, but he shakes it off, ducking to put his head under the shower stream and running his hands over his face.

He stays standing under the water for a minute or two, giving himself a moment to come down from the high of his orgasm before washing his hair and cleaning himself up. After shutting off the water he pulls back the shower curtain and reaches out to grab his towel, stepping out of the shower. He lets out a content sigh as he dries himself off, wrapping the towel around his waist and pushing back his still dripping wet hair from his forehead. Quickly picking up his dirty clothing from the floor, he heads back into his room tossing them in his hamper before digging through his dresser for sweats and a t-shirt.

Just as he finishes changing, he hears his front door open. “Joel!” Tommy yells out.

Joel rolls his eyes at the sound of Tommy’s voice. “Well that didn’t last long.” He grumbles to himself as he slowly opens his bedroom door and walks towards the stairs.

“Joel! You home?” Tommy calls out again.

Joel lets out a sigh. “Yeah!” He finally answers as he quickly goes down the stairs, walking into the kitchen to see Tommy leaning on the kitchen counter.

“Got the place to yourself tonight, huh?” Tommy asks as Joel walks past him into the kitchen, heading towards the sink. He raises his eyebrows in annoyance once his back is to Tommy.

“Yup.” Until you showed up, he thinks to himself.

“Surprised you don’t have a girl over, or a date planned for that matter.” Joel tries not to let Tommy’s comment get to him as he turns on the sink, allowing the water a few seconds to warm up before he does the dishes.

Tommy laughs and Joel lets out a sigh, thoughts of you entering his mind again. He picks up a sponge, covering it in a small dollop of soap before grabbing a dirty plate from the sink. You’ve seen him the past couple of times he was on a date with someone and he wonders how you feel about it. Were you upset afterwards? He knew you were angry the night you saw him at the diner after a date, but how much did it really bother you? He needs to know. Joel hears Tommy's voice and snaps out of his thoughts.

“Speaking of dates,” Tommy clears his throat, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table and sitting down before he continues on. “I just got back from one.”

Joel’s not so interested in hearing about another one of Tommy's flings at this moment, but he’s too tired to tell him so. “Oh yeah? Who’s the lucky lady this time?” A small smirk grows on Joel's face as he prepares to hear his brother go on about his new girl.

Joel freezes, heart sinking down into his stomach when he hears your name leave Tommy’s mouth, not wanting to believe it. The two of them sit silent for a few moments, only the sound of the running water from the sink filling the room. His blood starts to boil, muscles tensing up as his hands still, a glass in one, sponge in the other. A low ringing starts to play through Joel's ears and he tries to gather himself.

Tommy finally breaks the silence. “Actually just dropped her off before heading over here.”

“Hm.” Joel nods his head as he tries to think of more to say. “Where did you two go?” Joel tries to keep his voice steady as he speaks, visions of you out with his brother, sitting in his passenger seat racing through his brain as he continues to scrub away at the dish in his hands. He doesn't really want to know the answer, but he needs to know. How serious could this thing really be?

“Just a little place downtown, had dinner and a few drinks then went for a walk.” As Tommy speaks, Joel's imagining the scene in his head.

What did you wear? Did you laugh at his jokes, throwing your head back as your eyes fall shut, lips turning up to reveal your beautiful smile. He doesn't want to imagine you with anyone else, let alone his little brother.

“Mmm.” Joel hums in response, not sure what else he can say or if he can even keep himself calm enough to come up with something.

“I think I’m really into her,” Tommy lets out a small laugh, shaking his head back and forth slightly. “Which hasn't happened in awhile.” Joel feels sick at the words that just left his brother's mouth.

Joel rinses the dish he was scrubbing and sets it into the drying rack next to the sink before picking up another dirty dish. He grabs the dish soap and notices his hand is shaking slightly as he goes to squeeze the bottle. Fuck. What seems like half the bottle comes flying out when he squeezes. This can't be happening, he thinks to himself.

“I know she's a little young but, there's something there.” Even with his back to him, Joel can hear the smile in Tommy's voice. “Our second kiss just, it felt like this could really be something.”

Joel drops the soapy wet plate into the sink, causing him to flinch and Tommy rises from his chair. He thinks his heart could stop right this second at the image of you kissing his brother, again. As if once wasn't bad enough.

“You okay?” Tommy says, walking towards Joel.

“Yeah, yeah just,” Joel’s voice breaks and he clears his throat. “Pretty tired, it's been a long day.” He picks up the plate from the bottom of the sink, rinsing it off and setting it next to the others on the drying rack.

“Well, I'm gonna get going. I’ll call you tomorrow?” Joel can hear Tommy’s footsteps as he backs out of the kitchen, but he doesn’t turn around to look at his brother.

“Sounds good.” he nods his head, continuing his task.

Joel listens to the sound of Tommy walking towards the front door, opening and closing it behind him. Then it's silent. Just Joel and his thoughts. He zones out, staring out the window over the sink into the pitch black, still feeling a bit fuzzy from the drinks he had earlier. His eyes focus for just a second on his reflection in the glass.

You and his little brother. He knew you two had gone out together once, he was with you two at the bar, not thinking it was actually anything serious. And he did see you kiss his brother that same night, but Joel just assumed it was to get under his skin, which worked. Now though, this was more than just something casual. He needs to find a way to talk to you, soon. Before it's too late.

He can't shake the images of the two of you from his head. Imagining the way you would’ve looked under the moonlight as you strolled the streets after dinner, breeze gently blowing as you walked hand in hand. He imagines himself there with you instead of his brother. Driving you home, stealing glances at you as you sit beside him in the passenger seat looking out the window as music plays softly through the radio. Walking you up the steps to your front door, pulling you into him and placing a gentle kiss on your lips before watching you go inside and walking to his car.

Except it wasn’t him. It was his fucking brother walking hand in hand with you and kissing you as he dropped you off at the end of the night.

“God damnit!” Joel yells out, the glass in his hand shattering.

His heart is racing as he looks down at his hand, a few small cuts scattering across his palm. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize he was squeezing it that tightly. For a moment he stands there, staring down at his palm and the red covered broken glass lying in the sink. The water is still running and he moves his hand to run beneath it, rinsing the blood from his hand and covering the sink in a red tint. His breathing starts to slow as he fully snaps back into reality, the sting of the cuts starts to sink in and he sucks in a breath, quickly pulling his hand away from the running water.

“Great.” he mumbles to himself, shutting the water off and walking towards the drawer in the kitchen where he keeps a few bandaids and gauze.

He grabs the roll of gauze with his good hand and walks back upstairs towards his bathroom. He’ll deal with the broken glass tomorrow morning before Sarah gets home, right now all he wants to do is sleep. When he gets back upstairs, he rummages around the cabinet under his sink, looking for the bottle of rubbing alcohol that's somewhere down there, grabbing some cotton balls while he's at it.

Before sitting down on his toilet seat to wrap his hand, he takes a look at it under the vanity light, making sure there's no glass in the cuts. There's a large gash running from the base of his thumb towards the center of his palm, and two small puncture spots beneath his ring finger where the glass just barely cut him. He runs his hand under cold water one last time, then soaks a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol, pressing lightly along the cuts.

He winces as it soaks into the cuts, stinging once again. As he goes to sit down, he tosses the cotton balls into the small trash in the corner of his bathroom, grunting when he finally sits down. He stares down at his hand, examining the wound one last time before starting to unravel the gauze and wrap it around his hand and tucking the end in to keep it in place as much as possible. The stinging hasn't stopped quite yet, his hand feels warm where the cut is but all he can do is hope it’s slightly better in the morning.

Joel lets out a deep sigh as he stands up, walking out of the bathroom and towards his bed. Sleep will fix everything, at least he hopes. He knows it won't lessen the pain of what he's learned tonight, but at least he'll get a break from imagining you with…

He can't even finish the thought, won't finish it. He pulls back his comforter and slips into his bed, reaching to flick off his bedside light before turning onto his side. He’ll deal with it all in the morning.

It’s been about an hour since your date with Tommy ended, now you’re laying in bed on top of your covers, just staring at the ceiling as you go over the events of tonight. The date was alright, you think. You could tell he had put a lot of effort into it, dressing nicer than usual and taking you to a nice spot for dinner. He ordered wine at dinner, which was more shocking than impressive.

The two of you talked about anything and everything, laughing and having a good time, only when Joel wasn’t slipping into your mind. You tried your best to surprise your thoughts, especially since you were on a date with his younger brother, but every time Tommy did something you couldn’t help but think about what Joel would’ve done if you were there with him.

Would he be telling jokes the way Tommy was? Would he have ordered wine instead of his usual in a lame attempt to impress you? He probably wouldn’t have taken you to a place this nice, but you think you would’ve preferred that.

After dinner, Tommy had taken you on a walk around town. The weather was beautiful as the sun was setting, a small breeze picking up as you walked under the street lights. It would’ve been even better if you weren’t distracted the whole time wishing that you were with Joel instead. You felt guilty, absolutely terrible, even now thinking about it makes your stomach twist into a knot. The truth of the matter is, you need to end things with Tommy, sooner than later.

You finally sit up and climb off your bed, walking over to your dresser and grabbing something to sleep in, quickly peeling your outfit from tonight off and slipping into your pajamas. As you toss you things into your hamper, you catch a glimpse of yourself in your mirror, staring back at yourself for a moment.

“What am I going to do.” You let out a deep sigh, walking over to flick your bedroom light off before crawling into bed.

thank you for reading <3

tags: @pedropascalfan221 @mellymbee @kaybee181520 @joeldjarin @akah565 @chefchy4 @untamedheart81 @merz-8 @fellinfromthetop @znerac @hiddenbabynyc

i think i won’t be doing a tag list from now on…. sorry don’t hate me!! i also post all chapters on my ao3 pale_m00nlight :)

[phan3145]

Title: Slippery Slope. Fandom: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Rating: M ( Cursing, blood, minor character death, mature themes) Pairing: Eventual Noa x Human!Reader.

***Notes: I am so sorry this is so late, you don’t understand how this chapter nearly ended me. I also had no intention of making it this long. Broken record, right? Want to say a big THANK YOU to @sttudnobright for commenting on my poll, because it was their comment that made me finally realize how to frame this chapter. Tagging @imaginarydreams since they asked to be kept updated. Also, reminder to check the rating for this chapter.

Chapter 6: Jumbled

You

When you opened your eyes again you were in your bed, fire going steadily across from you, lighting up the entirety of the cave. You didn’t remember leaving that much kindling on it, but decided you must have. At least it was warm. You let out a whining groan as you attempted to stretch your body. Your arms went above your head, your back arching, toes extending before curling a few times. Your body hurt so much.

Your left shoulder blade felt as if someone had clubbed you, your thighs not faring much better. They felt tight, vice-like. You swayed your hips slightly, hearing a pop in your right joint that relieved a fraction of the tension. You brought your arms back down from where they had been resting above your head, seeing your wrapped hands. Thankfully, you hadn’t bled through the cloth, but the skin underneath felt hot. You didn’t want to think about what it looked like.

Memory flooded back to you then; the library, the boar, the leap of faith off of the horse, and then falling asleep on the way back. This caused you to bolt upright, realizing you were in fact in your bed and not riding on a horse. As you did, the large figure that had been silently sitting next to you, watching your every move, sprung to their feet. You jerked away from them, a scream dying in the back of your throat when you realized who it was.

“Noa.” You gasped, hand coming up to clutch at your too dry throat. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

Noa appraised you a moment, eyes trailing up and down your form so methodically you felt naked. You fought the urge to bring your blanket up, knowing you were still wearing the same clothes you had on before. Speaking of which, your bed was dirty now that your outside clothes had touched it. That was probably the least of your worries though, remembering how your jacket had completely lost its backing. Though summer was approaching, spring was holding on with a vengeance at night when the sun went down.

Noa, apparently done with his study of you, handed you your canteen. You took it gratefully, saying a quick thank you as you drank. He chose to speak then, “Watching over you…could not wake you when we arrived…had to have Anaya…help move your rock.”

That frightened you, turning towards your entry way to see the rock moved to its normal open position. You swallowed thickly, “You two were able to open it?”

“Was not easy.” Noa replied, walking towards where your fire was going, and bringing something back wrapped in a large leaf. “Took much time…difficult to open…but not impossible.”

You noticed as he carefully handed you the leaf, that Noa’s eyes went distant, as if he was remembering something from a long time ago. Distracted by the new object in your hand, you unwrapped it to find fresh salmon. That explained the extra kindling, he must have just finished cooking it…you could still see steam rising from the ends. You were surprised how well the leaf insulated against the heat. Leaning over, you reached for the dagger under your pillow, slicing slits into the cooked fish to release the heat. You tore and picked at the edges of it, only then realizing how hungry you really were.

Noa eyed you warily, watching as you used the dagger to cut into the meat. You were too hungry to act shy about the weapon, shoving a huge chunk of meat into your mouth using the blade as a type of spoon. You swallowed quickly, waving the dagger in the air before explaining, “In case something else ever gets in. Last line of defense. It’s better to be safe than sorry, but I’ve never had to use it before.”

Noa grunted, apparently willing to leave it there. You took another bite, eyes trailing back over to your entry. The day you met the trio, Noa was able to budge the rock slightly, just by himself. You had marveled at his power, never fearing he would ever be able to break in from the outside, regardless of his strength. A part of you was grateful that they were able to get it open, giving your body time to rest in bed and wake up comfortably. Still, you felt uneasy at the thought that only two apes had been enough to pry open your sense of safety.

As if hearing your thoughts, Noa added, “Almost gave up…several times…in the beginning could barely…find it…then together could barley…move it at all….Soona suggested taking you back…to village for the night.”

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, eyes widening, and stomach dropping. You shook your head, “No. No, that would have been a very bad decision.”

Noa scoffed, “Anaya said…same thing…do not see why…would have been there with you…as I am now.”

Before you could say anything else, Noa was in front of you again, handing you an apple. The oddness of him feeding you struck you then, taking it from him but setting it down next to you. You weren’t done with your fish, but your appetite had suddenly vanished. You carefully moved the leaf and its contents off to the side, freeing up your lap so you could swing your legs over the side of your bed. You braced your hands on the edge, leaning forward slightly, attempting to take inconspicuous deep breaths.

Of course, Noa noticed something was wrong. He crouched to be eye level with you, something you noticed he always seemed to be doing. Anaya and Soona would move freely, but if Noa was speaking to you he would be sure to be on your level, or at least mirror your body language. You tried to avoid his gaze, that feeling of being exposed returning as he commented, “You should…eat more…no food since sunrise.”

You shook your head, “I’m not that hungry anymore.”

“Rest then?” Noa asked. “Can sleep…will stand watch.”

“Maybe later,” you mumbled.

Noa’s eyes scanned your face, fighting to catch your gaze. That in itself must have been telling, as he said slowly, “You…are…upset?”

You were suddenly hot, pulling your arms a little too roughly out of the sleeves of your ruined jacket. You held it in your hand, thumb rubbing at the shredded ends of the back. You didn’t think there was any chance of mending it, wondering if there was a way to repurpose it. For now, it did keep your arms covered at least.

You looked up then, seeing Noa’s expression shift from concerned to sorrowful. You weren’t sure if it was due to your silence or your tattered jacket. You tried to put some life into your voice, softly but kindly explaining, “You don’t have to stay, Noa. I’ll be alright.”

“Want to…stay.” Noa replied, shaking his head.

“Why?” You asked, a self deprecating chuckle leaving you as you ran a hand through your hair.

Noa didn’t hesitate, “Worried…about you.”

You didn’t say anything to that. He probably had good reason to worry about you…at times like this you worried about yourself too. Usually you were fine, but then there were days where you would feel the reality of your life crash into you and panic over the situation you found yourself in. It happened the day after meeting Noa, all the ways things could have gone wrong if he was a different ape, how things could still go wrong. God…just the thought of waking up, not knowing where you were, potentially surrounded by other apes, had your stomach turning.

So lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice Noa raise his hand up, his thumb attempting to brush over the mark he had placed on your forehead. You flinched back out of instinct. He did the same, snatching his hand away and tilting his head at you. You forced your muscles to relax, mumbling, “Sorry, didn’t mean to do that.”

“You..do not like…being touched.” Noa paused, it wasn’t a question. “Then…sometimes you do…why?”

That was one of the questions you didn’t want to answer, knowing there were things you would have to explain that Noa might not understand. There were also things that he wouldn’t like if you explained them to him. Today had been an eventful day, you were not only emotionally exhausted, but physically as well. You wanted to trust Noa, tell him everything you kept trapped and secret in your mind, but you didn’t know if you could trust yourself. It was all too heavy, it would crush you under its weight. He didn’t push though, patiently waiting for your response. You almost smiled, knowing he would probably wait all night for you if he needed to.

Not thinking too much on the action itself, you pushed yourself from your bed, lowering your body onto the ground to be closer to…well, Noa. As much as you hated to admit it, there was something about him that brought you comfort. If you were in your normal mindset you might question that further, but for now, you wanted the comfort of his closeness. His eyes widened a fraction, letting out a small hum as he shifted from his haunches to a seated position on the floor as well. His legs were spread out in front of him, yours were bent at the knee, feet feeling the cool stone beneath you as you rested your hands on your knees. If your foot moved an inch or two to the right it would be touching Noa’s, and you had to shake that thought from your head.

Your fingers tapped out a rhythm, trying to distract yourself as you admitted, “I mainly flinch out of fear. I don’t really mean to, but I’ve been alone for so long now that…usually if something is touching me, it’s not a good thing.”

“Fear…” Noa repeated, mulling over you or answer. “Why…are you afraid…of apes?”

“Apes can be dangerous,” you replied honestly.

“When?” He asked.

Your brows furred, “What do you mean?”

“When did it…happen,” Noa clarified. “When…were apes dangerous…to you?”

“I -I didn’t say-” you started, but Noa cut you off.

“Fear does not happen…for no reason,” he huffed. “When did apes…make you afraid?”

You hesitated, throat feeling tight again “ Years ago.”

Noa leaned in closer, tone softening, “What happened?”

Well, this was it. The thing you swore you would never speak about again for as long as you lived. You didn’t have to answer, but you had come this far, and not explaining this to Noa meant that he would never understand your fear. It might even drive a wedge further between you two at some point in the future. Today already took an emotional toll on you, so how much worse could this be?

“I…I told you I lived in a vault once, right?” You stammered.

Noa hummed.

You took a deep breath then, “There was a virus- which I’m not sure if you know about. It took away the ability for humans to speak, made us really sick. Sometimes…it even killed us.”

Noa nodded, “Know…about it.”

You swallowed, “It didn’t effect most of us in the vault….I think before I was born the ones in there were immune to it. I was-was tested when I was born, and I was allowed to go outside with my parents whenever I wanted. For m-most of my life everyone came and went as they pleased, living in nature, even farming. This…apocalyptic world our scientists were always talking about, didn’t seem so bad at the t-time. I had freedom, a family, and f-friends. I lived a happy life.”

“How old…were you?” Noa clarified, “When…it happened.”

“S…seventeen.” You mumbled, pinching your eyes closed for a moment and running a hand through your hair. It had only gotten longer, and you reminded yourself then that you should cut it soon. “I wasn’t…wasn’t even considered an adult yet. I never in my wildest nightmares imagined that I could lose everyone I…it happened so fast.”

“Where are family…friends…now?” Noa asked.

You took in a breath, “Hopefully, they’re all dead.”

Noa visibly reacted to this, “Why…would you hope…for that?”

“Because the humans the gorillas didn’t kill outright,” you gritted through your teeth. “Are the ones they decided to keep as pets.”

“Gorillas…killed?” Noa didn’t seem shocked, but it still seemed like a hard concept for him to understand.

You felt a shiver run up your spine, and you forced your body not to show it as memories assaulted your mind in response to the question. You couldn’t speak, choosing instead to jerk your head once in a single nod.

“What is…pet?” Noa asked, raising his left hand in a closed fist, before making a back and forth motion with his right hand over top of it. “Not pet like…this?”

“No,” you shook your head, teeth clenching. “Not like that at all.”

You had to take a moment to swallow the anger, knowing this was a genuine question. Noa was not the one you were angry with, he was the one who was here after you got hurt. He was the one who made sure you didn’t fall off the horse. He was the one that never harmed you no matter how easy it would have been to do so. He was the one listening to you, the one who was worried about you. He cared about you.

With your emotions in check, you explained, “A pet is an animal humans would domest- tame…an animal humans would tame to keep with them. We would give them names, and put collars around their necks so others knew who they belonged to. We fed them, and gave them shelter in exchange for their loyalty and companionship.”

Noa was hesitant, but admitted, “Does not sound…bad…we raise Eagles…very similar…we wear their feathers and…have names for them to…tell apart.”

You shook your head, “It’s not the same. The clan and the eagles are the same, equal. I’ve even heard Anaya refer to Eagle Sun as your older brother.”

Noa huffed at that, looking away a moment before asking, “How is it…different then?”

“First of all,” you started. “For humans, a pet was treated as something under us. We cared for them, loved them, but they were not our equals. We chose them, cared for them instead of letting them fend for themselves in the wilderness. Secondly, the gorillas did not share the same amount of care for their pets that humans did theirs. They treated them brutally.”

“How do you…know?” Noa challenged.

You looked him the eye then, refusing to so much as blink as you confessed, “Because I was trapped in a cage as a pet for over a year.”

You’d never seen an ape be sick before, but Noa looked awfully close. His face was incredibly scrunched, and unless it was a trick of the fire, he looked two shades paler. His body seemed more hunched in, as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He breathed out the only word he seemed to be able to form, “What?”

Your hand covered your own mouth for a moment after the confession. Now that you said it out loud, it was real again. Nausea crept up on you at the epiphany, the fish in your gut souring the back of your throat. You turned away from Noa then, your other hand moving to your stomach and legs falling to the ground as you fought the overwhelming feeling. You already started, you couldn’t let yourself stop now. No one on this planet knew what happened now that your mother was gone. Someone else besides you should know. You took very deep breaths, hearing Noa start to make those humming noises again. They reminded you of the day you two had met, and that thought grounded you.

You turned back to Noa then, “My friends and I left the vault, three males and two females. We were traveling along a river, one we were very familiar with, when a group of gorillas and a few chimps approached us. We weren’t sure what to do, we had never seen apes before. The males simply stood in front of my friend and I. They had weapons, for hunting, but my friend and I had nothing.”

You saw the look in Noa’s eyes, the despair he held for you. You shifted again, bringing your knees up to tuck into your chest. You wrapped your arms around them, turning your head to face Noa as you rested your cheek on your knees. You tried to smile, “My friends were so brave, and if it weren’t for them, I might not be here now.”

“Do you…” Noa started. He opened his mouth as if to gulp the air, canines visible for a moment before he continued, “Do you…want silence?”

You shook your head, “I need to tell you, I need to say it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say it again if I stop now.”

Noa nodded, grunting as he stamped a closed fist against the ground a few times. You weren’t sure what it meant, but it might have been involuntary as he sighed through his nose, “Will not…speak…until you are…finished.”

“Okay.” You sighed, closing your eyes and letting the memories overtake you.

…

Kieran and Erik were at it again, trying to prove who was stronger. Somehow you and Eden got dragged into it, both of you being picked up and thrown over one of the boys shoulders as they ran down stream. Eden was absolutely losing it, snorting as she screamed in glee. You on the other hand, were just trying to make sure Kieran didn’t drop you. Even you had to admit though, it was pretty funny, a few giggles escaping as Kieran tried to trip Erik.

“I will strangle you if you trip me Kieran, I swear to God!” Erik shouted, stumbling slightly as Eden continued to squeal.

You slapped Kieran on the shoulder, “Fight fair! If you make Erik drop Eden he’ll have to get in line to strangle you.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Kieran called, picking up the pace, as you imagined the river’s edge was close.

You raised your head to see Micheal bringing up the rear, multiple bows and packs of arrows slung across his back as he attempted to keep up with his two younger brothers. Your eyes locked and you smiled at him, who in turn blushed and looked away. You enjoyed flustering him, not sure when he started acting differently around you, only that ever since, he had trouble keeping eye contact with you.

You would probably marry him one day. He was two years older than you, and while looks had never been something you were a particularly good judge on, you supposed he was decent enough. He was about your height, with dark auburn hair and brown eyes the color of a rich wood. More than his looks though, he was smart, smarter than Kieran and Erik for sure. He was the main hunter, knew how to be patient and find solutions to problems most wouldn’t think of. You admired that in him, how he never pretended to be something he wasn’t, never boasted or bragged that he was strong. He let his actions speak for themselves. While Eden might appreciate Kieran or Erik for their playfulness and macho displays, Micheal was the one who had your full attention.

Just as you thought that, Kieran jerked to a stop, and you felt your body go forward as he let you down, hollering his victory over Erik. Eden was still laughing, giving Erik a quick peck on the cheek in an attempt to comfort him.

“Hey, I won,” Kieran protested. “Shouldn’t I be the one to get a kiss?”

“You tried to cheat,” Eden accused, finger pointing at him.

Kieran smiled, “Key word being tried. I didn’t actually trip Erik.”

Eden rolled her eyes, turning to Micheal who was just now catching up, “I think he should be disqualified. What about you?”

Without missing a beat, Micheal said, “Absolutely. Erik wins by default, congratulations you two.”

Eden cheered, giving Erik a high-five as Kieran sulked. I patted his shoulder, “Better luck next time. Hey, I appreciate that you didn’t drop me.”

“Do I get a kiss for that?” He asked.

I snorted, “Yeah, sure.”

I leaned forward to kiss his cheek when Kieran suddenly turned his head, kissing me on the lips. I pulled back immediately as he grinned, looking so proud of himself. Of course, never one to boast when he actually does something outrageous. I practically growled at him, raising a leg to take my shoe off.

“Oh, shit!” Kieran cursed as he attempted to run.

“Get back here you ass!” You called as you chased after him, “Come take your beating like a man!”

Eden pulled Erik back playfully as he made to grab him, but Micheal was suddenly there, lunging forward and grabbing Kieran around the neck in a type of chokehold. This surprised you, but you just chuckled evilly, ready to get your revenge. Micheal saying your name however, stopped you in your tracks. That’s when you noticed his eyes locked on to something up ahead of you. Even Kieran stopped struggling as he caught site of what Micheal had.

Eden, Erik, and you all turned at the same time to find out what the other two were staring at. That’s when you saw it, apes on horseback. You had never seen an ape in person before, and you had to wonder what they were doing here. The five of you had frequented this river since you could walk, this wasn’t claimed territory. You were too scared to look away or make a sound now, feeling like something was terribly wrong. Running didn’t seem like a good idea though.

You heard Micheal call your name again, “Put your shoe back on and get behind me. Eden, you too. Erik, back up to me with Eden slowly.”

We all did as he instructed as the caravan of apes got closer. There were five gorillas and three chimpanzees. Two of the chimps were walking alongside the group instead of riding. That must mean there was a settlement nearby. A new ape settlement.

You felt Eden wrap her arm around yours, attempting to pull you back further. You didn’t want to move, afraid to look weak, and Micheal was right in front of you. He hadn’t reached for his bow yet, but his hands were ready. Erik and Kieran on the other hand weren’t willing to wait, arrows strung and pointed towards the ground.

The apes stopped then, probably 20 feet away from you, making a few noises that you assumed was their way of communication. You noticed them scanning your group, the biggest gorilla locking eyes with you for a brief moment before turning his attention to Erik. He was shifting from foot to foot, arrow pointed slightly off the ground now, as if he sensed danger.

“We mean you no harm,” Micheal’s booming voice called out. “As long as you mean us no harm. We understand if this is your territory, we did not know. We will respectfully leave and return to our homes and not come back.”

The larger gorilla huffed at one of the chimps on the ground, who paced to the back of his horse. He then turned to the smaller gorilla on his left, pointing to Micheal. You felt your stomach drop, not understanding what that meant, but having a feeling it wasn’t good. You felt Micheal’s hand on your stomach then, pushing you back as he whispered, “Start backing up, but don’t run unless I say.”

You hummed, too afraid to speak as the group slowly started inching backwards.

The large gorilla spoke then, the deep scratchy voice sending chills down your spine. “Human who can speak…comes with us.”

Ice flooded your veins then, looking to Micheal who seemed to be assessing the situation. Erik, upon hearing that, raised his bow in the air, aiming for the gorilla who spoke. No sooner had he done that, you heard a Thunk noise, and a gasp be ripped from Erik’s mouth. You turned, watching in slow motion as Erik took a step back, allowing you to see the spear lodged in his chest.

You watched the realization hit him at the same time as the rest of you, a final glance to Micheal before he collapsed. You couldn’t react, shock gripping your being as you saw Eden cover her mouth to smother the scream she wanted to let out, visibly shaking now as she clung to you. Kieran was smart enough not to raise his bow further, but he and Micheal shared a devastated look before facing the apes again.

“Run.” Micheal hissed, and time seemed to not only resume, but speed up.

The gorillas all practically leapt off their horses. The two chimps on the ground hurling spears, not trying to hit you but trying to keep you all in one place. Eden took off alongside you, and for once, you were thankful she was smaller than you, it allowed her to be faster. You heard Micheal and Kieran behind you, turning your head over your shoulder once to see the apes gaining. Micheal did the same, and you saw the calculating look in his eye as he turned back around.

He called out then, “Kieran you’re with me, you two don’t stop running for anything! I mean it!”

You heard Eden whimper ahead of you as a sort of confirmation, and you stumbled a moment, wanting to stop but knowing if you did, whatever Micheal intended to do would be in vain. Two sets of footsteps stopped echoing behind you, so you kept running, dodging over limbs and bushes as you both strayed from the rivers edge in search of cover.

You heard arrows flying alongside apes screeching and roaring in tandem. You couldn’t look, couldn’t see who was winning. You had to keep going…..but then you heard Kieran scream. You turned then to see one of the chimps dead on the ground, and a Gorilla struggling to breathe next to the corpse, half dead himself. He had more than seven arrows lodged in his chest. There were two more gorillas though, one restraining Micheal and the other…

Kieran was on the ground, body twisted in an unnatural position, with the second gorilla above him. You saw dark arms raise before fists came down over his body. Micheal struggled in a net next to him, screaming and cursing at the apes. You looked away, hearing the pain in Kieran’s voice each time the Thump of fists came down on him. You heard a wet, cracking sound following the next blow that echoed in the forest. Then, there was no more screaming. No more hits to the ground. No more sound. You knew Kieran was dead.

You heard the pound of running steps behind you then, and you knew what was about to happen. You gasped in air, forcing your body to go faster, run harder. Eden was so far ahead of you…you knew she would probably get away if she just kept going. You willed your voice to be steady as you screamed, “Don’t stop, Eden! Run faster, give it everything you have! Don’t stop until you’re home! Don’t look back, just run!”

You didn’t hear a response, but you saw her shift slightly, running more on the balls of her feet and picking her legs up higher, arms jerking back and forth harder than they were before. You saw her duck behind a tree and then she was out of your line of sight. Part of you was comforted by that, but that relief was quickly extinguished when something smacked into your back and you quickly hit the ground. You scraped your chin when you landed, letting out a small cry of pain as you wriggled in the net you found yourself trapped in.

There was a tug, and you were being dragged back towards Micheal and the other apes. The Gorilla above you huffed and snarled as you continued to struggle, raising a leg and kicking you in the stomach. You groaned, curing in on yourself as another gorilla on a horse approached.

The gorilla holding you pointed towards where Eden had been, “Find the human and their nest, take the ones who speak…kill the rest.”

No

Eden was going to lead them home, and there was nothing you could do about it. You felt tears start streaming down your face, as the ape holding you sniffed loudly, throwing you next to Micheal, another ape gripping the closure of the net. The larger ape growled, “Weak human…bleeding…stinks.”

The ape above you seemed to huff in agreement, and as awful as this was, you were relieved that Micheal had escaped the slaughter. You were happy he was here with you. You actively avoided looking at his brother laying on the ground next to you as you thought this.

…

The two of you were thrown across a horse, a chimp walking alongside it as you tried to track where you were and where they were taking the two of you. You were separated from Micheal when you arrived to the ape settlement. It was built on the side of a cliff, apes working on a large wooden fence around the front. As you rode in you noticed they were taking you off to the left, but taking Micheal all the way to the back. Neither of you said anything, knowing that if one of you had the chance to escape you would do so, and maybe send help for the other.

There was a crude room made from a small stone alcove in the rocks. You were taken out of the net and thrown in, rolling on the ground from the unexpected force. You didn’t try to run, the colony of gorillas overflowing, it would only be a few steps before you were caught. A makeshift door of bamboo was shut behind you, leaving you in the small space to explore alone. You decided to bide your time and look around for anything that could be useful to you. A large nest of leaves and furs was off to the side, some baskets filled with fruits, and other random odds and ends were scattered around the room. Nothing you could use at present. You tried to not look too closely at the bones that were scattered on the floor, deciding it didn’t matter if they were human or not as long as they weren’t yours.

The larger gorilla from earlier slammed open the door then, ground shaking as he made his way towards you. There was nowhere for you to go, but still you tried to back up as far away as you could from him. In seconds, your back was against the stone of the cave as the gorilla closed the distance between the two of you. You refused to cower, but you did freeze in place. His height was staggering, standing on all fours but his eyes were level with yours. Only then did you realize that looking him in the eye was a mistake, watching as he yanked you by your ankle.

You hit the ground hard, attempting to catch yourself on your elbows before he dragged you half under him. You tried not to cry or scream, thinking it would only aggravate the ape further. He jerked on your limbs, pulling you this way and that, then grabbing you by the neck. He pulled you close, taking a deep whiff before throwing you back to the ground. Your skull practically bounced off the stone below you and you whimpered, clutching at the back of your head.

This seemed to catch the gorilla’s attention, seizing you now by the hair and using it to pull you into a standing position. He chose to stand on two legs now, raising you up with him, and you barley dangled on your tip toes in order not to have all of your weight hanging my your head.

“You can make noise,” the gorilla snarled. “No point in having you if you don’t. Understand human?”

You whined, still struggling against his hold, “Yes! Please let go, it hurts!”

The gorilla made a satisfied noise, yanking up once very hard before dropping you entirely. You couldn’t help it, you collapsed onto your hands and knees while tears fell from your eyes. The pain was overwhelming, feeling like your skull was on fire, and you sobbed in fear as the gravity of your situation finally set in. Your body began to shake, the air you gasped into your lungs getting more and more shallow no matter how deep a breath you took. The ape circled you the entire time, intently watching your reaction.

“You are young,” he commented. “Will get much use out of you if you do as you are told.”

You tried to quiet your noises, tried to focus on his words. He made a fist as he raised his arm, and you yelped, wrapping your arms around your head. The ape hooted in delight, “You are smart…that is good. You will refer to me as Gol. Understood?”

“Y-yes.” You stuttered, slowly dropping your arms.

Gol reached for you again, grabbing you by the neck and hauling you up. You dangled in the air once more, feet kicking as you felt his grip close around your throat. Both hands scratched across his arm for any sort of purchase, attempting to hold yourself up to pull any amount of air you could get into your lungs. He watched you struggle before explaining, “You will come when I call, you will stay where I put you, and you will eat when I give you food. You will do what I say without question or hesitation. Do you understand?”

You nodded, gasping, “Yes!”

“Yes, what?” He huffed.

“Yes, Gol!” You practically spat in an effort to get the words out.

He dropped you to your feet then, not giving you a chance to catch your breath as he grabbed your hair, leading you by it like it was a leash. You were marched through the settlement by his unrelenting grasp until you reached the human cages. A door was opened for Gol by a chimp, then you were thrown in. You scrambled on your hands and feet before the door was promptly slammed in your face. You sniffled, watching as the apes hooted and chuffed before leaving you alone.

Not entirely alone

You heard a deep sigh behind you and saw Micheal crouching in the back of the cage. Though your body was sore and you were pretty sure your chin was still bleeding, you ran to him. He opened his arms and allowed you to collapse in them, sinking to the ground with you as you remained wrapped in each other. He tried to soothe you as you cried, but there was nothing he could tell you that would fix this. His brothers were dead, and Eden was leading the other apes to your home.

Home…you wanted to go home

As if hearing your thoughts Micheal squeezed you tighter, whispering, “I know…but we have to be smart. We will not be here forever. We will not die here. We just have to bide our time. Trust me, I promise you’ll get to go home.”

You wiped the tears from your eyes, burying your face in the warmth of his chest and the comfort of his smell. You trusted him, as long as he survived you would too. You would live for each other in hopes of making it out of here alive. Who knows, there were a few mechanical weapons in the vault, maybe Eden made it before the apes could stop her. Maybe your parents were planning a rescue mission as you sat here.

Micheal called your name then, forcing you to look up. He kissed the top of your head, holding you closer, “As fucked up as this is…and as much as I wish you weren’t, I’m really happy you’re here with me.”

You nodded, tucking your head back into his chest. Your fingers dug into his shirt, swallowing hard before you started, “I’m sorry about-”

“Don’t.” He interrupted you, “Just…don’t. Not yet. Have your breakdown now, I’ll have mine later.”

You hiccuped then, “I’ll be there for you when you do.”

He smiled then, genuinely, smoothing his fingers through your hair as you clung to each other, “Thank you.”

….

You had lost track of time, how long you had been here…but now you remembered with painful clarity. There were two things that you were sure of. The first, your home was either never found, or everyone there was killed. You woke up anxious every morning for days, weeks, but you never saw anyone from your vault brought to the settlement. The second, is that you were a year older. You had been taken in the early summer, and summer was once again upon you.

You had been here for over a year. You and Micheal had saved each others lives more times than you could count; sharing food and water, keeping each other warm during the freezing days of winter, sharing pain when punishment was inflicted…and in your case, it was inflicted a lot. You were more aware now of how tired you were, how wrong your body felt compared to how it had been. Even Micheal was not unaffected, he could no longer string a bow, even if he was ordered to. Both of you it seemed could barely carry more than your body weight.

Gol had stopped by your cage today, yanking you out while another gorilla gathered Micheal. For the first time since the two of you arrived, you were separated. You couldn’t do anything about that though, worrying for your own safety when Gol brought you back into his room. There was a large basket in the center of the room, steam billowing out of it. You thought it was food for a moment, disappointed as you approached it to find only water.

Gol grabbed your hair, as he was accustomed to, forcing you to your knees as you cried out in pain. Nowadays the pain blended into itself, to the point you were almost numb, almost couldn’t feel it. The rub was, if you didn’t reassure him that you were hurt by his actions, he would be sure to be rougher with you until he got the reaction he wanted. He grabbed a ragged piece of cloth nearby, dunking it into the water before ringing it out above your head. The water was too hot, causing you to hiss, lurching forward and away from him, your fingers running through your hair to try to alleviate the burning feeling. You didn’t mean to do it, but your scrambling away from Gol and the hot water was a mistake you hadn’t rectified quick enough.

This angered Gol, who let out a roar before grabbing you by the ankle and yanking you back to him. His hand came down and hit you hard across the head, dazing you for a moment as you tasted blood. He had split your lip. At the faintest smell of blood the Gorilla growled his irritation, “Stinking human. Even more vile with that smell on you now. You should be grateful the water is warm. I should throw you in the river like last time.”

The memory caused your body to be wracked by chills, recalling late last winter, just before spring, when you had gotten your monthly. Gol usually ignored it or ignored you until it was done, but something about this one set him on edge. He had opened your cage and dragged you from the settlement, Micheal following after you but too weak to do much about it. Gol had thrown you, clothes and all, into the river to “purge himself of your smell.” You had nearly just stayed underwater, the cold getting to you and the will for air nowhere in sight as you imagined what you had to go back to.

A moment later Micheal had dove in after you. Stark naked, he pulled you out of the river, both of you shaking. Gol had sniffed once and deemed you acceptable enough to return. Micheal quickly stripped you of your clothes, as if you were a child, while you both followed Gol back. He wore his pants, but as he carried your wet clothes he forced you to put on his dry, warm shirt. It barely kept your modesty, but it wasn’t wet or cold. It was enough. Neither of you spoke about you staying under for that long; Micheal didn’t want to believe you would leave him, and you were too ashamed to admit that for a moment you were ready to.

The shame of the memory flooded you, forcing you to find your voice, “Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

Gol threw the rag at you, stepping overtop and away from you then before sitting in his nest. He huffed as he studied his most recent trinket he had found on a scouting mission, ordering, “Strip and wash yourself. Do not put your old clothes back on.”

You swallowed and did as he said, mumbling, “Yes, Gol.”

Though you were two different species you still turned your back to him then, every nerve ending in your body becoming a live wire as you sensed the danger behind you. You did enjoy the warmth of the water once it had time to cool, but you did not languish in its comforts, wanting to be done as soon as possible so you could put on fresh clothes.

When you finished, you stood, trying not to hold yourself in a way that showed that you were uncomfortable. Gol glanced at you before rising from his nest, ordering you to follow him. You felt shame well up inside of you as he paraded you back to your cage, jaw clenched as you imagined how many ways you could kill the ape if you only had a weapon. Micheal was already there, also missing his clothes. You both took one look at each other, before quickly glancing away, and pieced together exactly what it was the apes were plotting. Gol shut the door behind you and walked away. Oddly enough, the apes had been avoiding the human enclosures completely today, and now you knew why.

It was early summer, warm enough that there was no chill, but still you felt your skin pebble. Micheal called you then. His back was plastered to the wall of your enclosure, legs and arms spread as he looked away. His eyes were closed for good measure, motioning for you to come sit. He held the only blanket in one hand and you moved without hesitation to sit between his legs, trying to avoid looking at him too out of courtesy. He wrapped the blanket around both of you then, using your back pressed close to his chest to pin a corner in place, doing the same with his back and the wall.

For once, he seemed just as nervous as you. You could feel his heart beat ricocheting against his chest. He blew out a ragged breath, leaning his head back as you curled in to make yourself as small as possible. You felt him swallow, his heart rate slowly lowering until it was back to its normal rhythm. Then there was just silence.

After what felt like an eternity, both of you sitting there, waiting for something to happen, you felt Micheal shift closer to you. He leaned in to whisper discreetly in your ear, “We have a choice to make. Their way, or our way. One way or the other, I need you to trust me.”

You looked up at him then, his mouth set in a harsh line and his eyes stone cold. You reached for his hand under the blanket, squeezing once before admitting, “You know I do.”

“Good. Try to sleep for now,” he whispered. “You’ll need your rest.”

What he was asking wasn’t difficult, no sooner had you closed your eyes did you feel yourself being nudged awake for dinner. In some cosmic joke, both of you were given fresh fruit and fish for dinner. Clean water too. You were shocked, but Micheal was not. He made sure you both ate your fill, hiding an apple and an orange in the folds of his blanket. When the apes returned to take your trough away they leered at the two of you before hooting to each other.

You sneered at the retreating apes, “Apparently, it doesn’t matter what species, all men are pigs.”

“Hey,” Micheal chuckled. “I’ve been nothing but a gentlemen this entire time.”

You scoffed, “You’re the exception, not the rule.”

“That’s more like it.” He teased before becoming serious once more, “Are you ready? We’re moving in about five minutes.”

“Shouldn’t we wait a bit longer?” You asked. “That seems so soon after they just gave us food and water.”

Micheal shook his head, “They left us alone all day with the exception of our baths. They think the privacy will help, so I say we use it against them. It’s already dark, they’re all at the bonfire. No one will come to check on us until sunrise, and we need to use every second we have.”

You nodded, “Alright.”

And true to his word, Micheal was slowly easing two bamboo bars away from where they were spiked into the ground. You were surprised he was able to do it, but he showed you where he had been secretly bending them for weeks to make it weaker. He held it open while you slipped through, then he slipped out backwards himself. He held it as long as he could before slowly releasing it. It snapped back into place and you marveled at his strength, noticing how winded he was from the effort.

“I thought…” you began to say but stopped yourself. “Have you always been this strong?”

Micheal sighed, “More or less, it depends on the day. I couldn’t show the apes that or they would have worked me to death. Can’t say the lie didn’t weaken me still.”

He turned to you then, wrapping the blanket around you. He tied the material in strategic places, ripping and tearing where he needed to so you were covered, but still had full mobility. He used the excess at the bottom to craft a makeshift carrier to hold the apple and orange from earlier. He tied it around your wrist, and just as you wondered why you couldn’t hold it he explained, “We’re going to be climbing, you’ll need both hands.”

You blanched, eyes huge as you hissed, “You intend to scale down the mountain in the dark, barefoot, and naked?”

“Yes,” he said with confidence. “It’s our best chance. I’ll go first and you’ll follow my footholds.”

As you two made it to the edge you glared at him, “You are actively insane.”

He swallowed, “I hope so, because if I wasn’t I don’t think this would work.”

There was just enough moonlight for you to see Micheal, watching carefully as he began to descend. Once he was down a few feet he stopped, holding himself up and motioning for you to follow. The strain on your arms was nearly unbearable, but the idea of freedom forced you to keep your limbs locked and straight. One foot after the other, hand over hand, just don’t look down. You repeated it like a mantra, stopping when he told you to and continuing when he told you to.

After what felt like an eternity, you heard Micheal hit solid ground. You felt your heart kick up and butterflies surge in your stomach. Just as you reached the bottom you felt Micheal’s hands brace you. You let go and allowed him to catch the rest of you. You could have screamed with joy, looking up at the cliff for a moment before turning your attention to Micheal. His brown eyes were shining with happy tears, both of you letting out a few breathy laughs. You embraced then, only for a moment, before Micheal grabbed your hand and set off in a dash to the surrounding woods.

You weren’t sure where you were going, or if he knew where he was leading you two until you came to the river. That was perfect! You could cross and follow it back home, even though you were downstream you knew this river and its path home like the back of your hand. Micheal was a genius!

You turned to tell him as much, when you noticed him picking up a rock from the ground. He examined it closely before rinsing it in the river.

“What are you doing?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion as you stared at the rock in his hand.

He looked at you then, eyes sorrowful, whispering, “I made a promise.”

He dug the rock into the palm of his left hand then sliced it, letting blood run down his wrist and into the grass at your feet. He hissed, dropping the rock and clutching his closed palm.

“What are you doing?” You nearly screamed, remembering to keep your voice low.

He smiled sadly, “Making sure you get home. Why do you think I made sure you were the one covered, and had food?”

You looked down now at yourself then to him, tears prickling your eyes, “You promised we wouldn’t die here, you promised we’d go home together.”

“I have no intention of dying,” he smirked. “But sometimes things are out of our control. It’s almost dawn, I need you to cross the river while I lead the blood trail as far downstream as I can. If I can evade them until noon then I’ll cross and backtrack. If all goes well I’ll get home a day or two after you.”

Tears were streaming down your face now, Micheal pulling you in for a hug, making sure to avoid getting blood on your blanket. You reached up then, grabbing his face in your hands and looking at him. It may be the last time you would be able to do so. With that thought spurring you on, your brought your mouths together in a clash of lips and teeth. It wasn’t perfect, but it was hungry and full of promise. Truthfully, it was a first for you both.

You felt his uninjured hand cup the back of your head, pulling you in closer as the two of you breathed each other in. You broke apart for air, taking a few real breaths before he leaned forward again. It was softer this time, his lips melting into yours as he brought your bodies together. Your hands wrapped around his neck and you felt heat pool in your stomach, mouth falling open as he deepened the kiss.

He groaned in the back of his throat, as if sensing your excitement, but ultimately pulled away. You both were panting, and he had to stop you from leaning in again, tears drying against your cheeks. His pupils were so dark they nearly suffocated the brown, and when he leaned down you thought he would kiss you again. Hell, by the way he grasped onto you, you thought he would take you right here. Instead, he surprised you, choosing to rest his head against yours. His body swayed into yours a moment, and rocked back with you as you pressed firmly into him. You felt the nails and heat of his right hand biting into the flesh of your hip through the blanket, his hold firm but not painful. When had it moved to your hip?

He let out an aggravated groan then, harshly kissing the top of your head, before gently pushing you away, “You need to go. I’ll see you at home in a day or two.”

You took a deep breath, swallowing your heartache as you took a step back. He was still breathing raggedly, nails now biting into his crossed arms. He was holding himself back by the barest of threads. You couldn’t ignore that, respecting his restraint as you slowly made your way into the water. You saw Micheal bend down and wipe his bleeding hand along the ground, away from the edge of the water. He straightened, pushing out more blood before wiping the red streak across his chest.

He noticed your hesitation, a cocky smile taking over his features, which would have seemed more natural on Erik or Kieran as he admitted, “Just so you know, in different circumstances, no one else around, I wouldn’t have hesitated. Even now, you still drive me crazy.”

You felt a blush tint your cheeks, confessing, “Just so you know…I love you. I would have married you in different circumstances.”

True fire lit up his eyes then, a joyous noise coming out in a rush as he pointed his injured hand at you, “You remember in two days that you said that! I’ll come home to you if it’s the last thing I do. If some beast manages to get me before then, I’ll find you in our next life.”

A watery laugh escaped you then, “You still believe in reincarnation?”

“I have to now, don’t I?” He countered, “It’s the only way I’ll be able to marry you more than once.”

You giggled, feeling a chill run up your spine as silence engulfed the two of you. You swallowed, whispering, “I have to go now.”

Micheal hummed, “You do, before dawn breaks. Please, be safe. I love you.”

You nodded dumbly, turning then and diving into the water. The current was strong, but you didn’t fight it, allowing it to carry you as you crossed. When you made it to the bank on the opposite side you crawled until you hit stable ground. It took effort to lift your body from the mud, but you managed. Once you were standing again, you turned to look for Micheal. He had followed you along the edge of the bank on the opposite side, giving a small wave before continuing down stream. You waved back weakly, tears flowing again as a sob threatened to escape your mouth. You choked it down, smothering any noise as you turned towards the woods. You walked in the opposite direction, just as he told you to do, hoping that home was still where you had left it. And, if it wasn’t, you hoped that it would find you in two days.

….

You wiped a tear from your face, scrubbing at your cheek slightly before turning your attention back to Noa. His mouth was slightly open, lips pursed, fingers fidgeting with each other. He looked as sad as you felt. He was true to his word, staying silent through your retelling. He also didn’t rush to say anything after, which you appreciated. You needed this reprieve now that you re-opened that wound. Could you bleed out from emotional pain? At the moment, burying your head into your arms, it felt like it was possible.

Noa moved his arm, as if he was going to comfort you, but thought better of it, pulling it back to his side.

You gasped in a breath, “When I started to recognize where I was on the river, I took off and didn’t stop until I reached home. I had never run so fast in my life…except for maybe the day we met. I found out the gorillas did attack the vault, trying to take people, but were ultimately killed. No survivors were able to report back where the vault was. We lost a lot of people though….my friend, she didn’t make it. I left with my mother a week later. We travelled for months until we settled here. That was about four years ago. She mainly built this place. I helped, but she was the one who thought of everything.”

“Where is…mother?” Noa asked, hand raising under his chin to correspond the sign with the word.

You felt the tears spring forward again, and you looked up to try to stop them from falling. You let out a shaky breath, “One step at a time…I’ll tell you about her some other day, I don’t have it in me right now. She meant...she means so much to me.”

Noa looked down then, something you said striking a nerve in him. He fiddled with the band on his arm, avoiding your eyes. A long sigh came from his nose, his hand coming up in a very human way to rub and hold his brow. His voice was rough as he spoke, “The Echo male…why is he…not here?”

You paused, wishing the words you were about to say were different. “He never came home.”

Noa kept his gaze from you still as he whispered, “I am sorry.”

You hummed in return. What else could you say? You waited for him as long as you could, but ultimately you couldn’t stay there. Your mother knew it too, which is why you both made the selfish decision to leave, sneaking away during the cover of night. You sat up then, pulling your jacket back to you from where it rested on the bed. It had been your mother’s, which she gave to you during the cooler nights of your journey. She never seemed to get cold, though in hindsight she had probably just put your needs before hers, hiding any cold or discomfort from you. You weren’t exactly present during the first half of your journey, just a shell at that point. Living as if life was a dream and nothing mattered. You wished now you could remember those earlier days, showed more appreciation for your mother while she was alive. She had given up everything for you.

Noa sniffed, pointing to the jacket in your hand, “Clothes are…important to Echo?”

You had to smirk, Noa thought it was a safe question to ask. You nodded, “Mhm. They keep us warm, and safe from the outside elements. This belonged to my mother, but now that she’s gone, it belongs to me.”

“Why were your…clothes taken?” Noa asked, lips curling up slightly in what you supposed was confusion or irritation. “After so long…sounded like…there was a purpose…do not understand.”

You bit the inside of your mouth, trying to think how best to respond. Of course Noa wouldn’t understand shame or modesty, it was inherently human after all. You decided to just spit out the ugly truth of the situation, not having a good way to sugar coat it, “The gorillas were trying to get us to reproduce…for whatever reason. Obviously, humans don’t have fur like apes, so clothes not only cover our bodies but our sexes too. Usually, if we remove that barrier in front of someone of the opposite sex, it’s a signal that we want to…mate, I suppose is the word you would use?”

Noa’s gaze finally returned, eyes piercing into yours as he asked, “What word…would you use?”

You shrugged, “We have a few words, I guess it depends on the intent. If it’s for reproduction, which in this case it would have been, then it would be called sex. If it’s with a partner, someone you care about and just want to be with, it’s called love making.”

“Partner…” Noa hesitated. “Is mate?”

“Not necessarily,” you responded. You were grateful for the brief interlude into human customs, even though the subject would have been considered wildly inappropriate with anyone else. “A wife, or in my case, a husband would be the term for a partner that I’d be with for life. A partner in general, can be anyone.”

Noa thought for a moment, “Partner can be…someone who is courting you? Not ma- husband…not husband?”

“Right,” you chuckled. The old English term was rather endearing, though humans preferred the more modern term of dating. Noa didn’t need to know that part, you liked courting better.

Noa looked to the fire then, gaze distant as he allowed his mind to wander with everything you said. You took that moment to enjoy the silence once more. Your next breath was deep, and the air felt cleaner, lighter. The weight of your past had been lifted, even if it didn’t last until morning. Just telling Noa, having him listen and show empathy as you shared your pain, momentarily healed some fractured piece inside of you. In a strange twist, you found yourself wanting to reach out to him now. The sudden pull was undeniable.

“Noa?” You called, getting his attention.

He turned to you then, grunting in response. You reached your hand out then, stopping just an inch or so away from his hand, looking for permission. Surprise was clear in his gaze, looking between your eyes and your hands, so close together but not quite touching. He hooted softly, raising his slightly closed hand, knuckles brushing against yours before you turned your palm, sliding it under his to gently grasp his wrist. His fingers twitched against your skin before you felt him mimic your hold.

For the first time, you noticed his eyes were not focused on yours, trained instead on your joined hands. He tilted his head, turning his arm slightly too in order to get a closer look at what he was holding. He had probably never seen a human up close like this before, his other hand rising to trace the details of your fingers. Your slightly crooked pinky was a moment of interest to him, then the webbing of skin between your fingers, before he moved on to the small scar on the top of your middle knuckle.

While he was focused on exploring your skin, you took the time to study his face unencumbered. You noticed all the muscles there that shifted under the weight of each new thought and emotion. How could one ape be so expressive? Mouth, jaw, and brow just seemed to be an extension of his gaze. He was an open book now that you could see close enough. Confusion, intrigue, and the desire to learn more, all written there, burning within his eyes. Now, it was reflected in his touch as well. You had to fight the urge to laugh as he brushed against the small hairs on your arm, seeming to take interest in the fact you did have hair that was not on your head. You let him continue, wanting the moment to last a bit longer.

You realized this was the first time you had voluntarily let him touch you, and sought out to touch him in return, since the river. This strange truth took you by surprise. That couldn’t be right, thinking back to all of your interactions, but coming up with nothing. Riding together would have been the closest you could think of, but even then it wasn’t necessarily voluntary. It had been out of forced proximity. Maybe that’s where it had started? You couldn’t deny the warmth of his hand, the strange feel of his skin compared to yours was like a balm. It soothed something deep inside of you. Or, maybe that was just Noa. Even that first day you met, when you had invited him back to your shelter, you sensed there was something different about him. It’s like you recognized it subconsciously, some strange likeness in him that called out to you.

Whatever it was, you were grateful for it now. You couldn’t bring your voice above a whisper as you admitted, “I’m glad you’re here with me. It was nice not to wake up alone…even if it did startle me at first. Thank you for bringing me back, and thank you for listening to me. It strangely felt…good, to say it all out loud.”

Noa’s mouth pressed in a thin line, eyes traveling from your hands, up your arm to your shoulder. They paused briefly at your neck before jerking to your face. You felt his thumb twitch against your wrist, next to your pulse, before he said, “You saved me…after your history with apes…means more now…than before…thank you…will always be here…if you need me.”

You couldn’t lie, throat tight as you confessed, “You shouldn’t think so highly of me because of that. I had no plans to save you. The truth is I don’t know or understand why I did it. I saw you fighting for your life and I just…reacted.”

Noa’s grip tightened a fraction, his gaze reflecting something similar to clarity. It was if a great weight had been lifted from his mind. That’s when his eyes lowered, his free hand smoothing over the top of yours, trailing up to your forearm before sliding back down. You watched in rapt fascination, the graceful movement of his hand as he did it again. You thought he would say something, but he didn’t, seemingly too focused on the moment. Too focused on his hand going up your arm, then back down. He didn’t seem angry or upset about your telling him the truth, so you took comfort in that. That’s when you felt your thumb, clasped loosely around his wrist, start to mimic his hand, sweeping up and down in that same soothing manner. The hair there tickled your skin as you moved it.

His eyes were never wary of yours, but you noticed a flitting back and forth between your stare and your stroking hands. It was contemplative, but soft at the same time. You both continued to just watch your hands move, easing into the actions of the other. He continued his hypnotic back and forth movement, causing a contented sigh to be released from you. The next time he caught your now drowsy stare, the right side of his lips curved upwards. Your mouth parted slightly, breath caught in the back of your throat as your heart skipped a beat. It all fell apart for you then; suddenly feeling too intimate as you continued to sit, touching Noa, in silence. You broke eye contact, looking down as you stopped moving, very slowly and gently pulling your arm from his grip. He noticed your discomfort immediately, releasing you just as gently.

Always so careful with you. Always allowing you to decide when to pull away.

He brought his hands slowly back to his lap, and you brought yours to your chest. You felt your heart pounding against your palms, and you wondered when that had started. You felt the tension in the space rise, your eyes sliding back up trepidatiously to meet Noa’s. There was that intensity again…and you wished you knew what he was thinking

“Jumbled.” Noa finally said.

You saw his mouth move, but didn’t quite hear the word over the sound of your pulse in your ears, “What?”

Noa made that same gesture he had at the library, hand to his chest, “Inside…jumbled spirit.”

You scoffed, trying to lighten the mood, “I killed a boar today, and I’ll give you the fact I hit the pavement like a rag doll, but I’m not jumbled, Noa.”

“Yesterday,” he corrected, smiling now. You rolled your eyes playfully before he continued, “You feel alone…even when you are not…do not want to be touched…but enjoy when you receive affection…scared of apes…but care about Anaya and Soona.”

“And you,” you added unintentionally. The way it rolled so naturally off your tongue surprised you.

Noa chuffed, grinning triumphantly, “See?…How can you be scared…and care at the same time?”

You leaned back against the stone ledge, shrugging, “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because humans are complicated and capable of complex thoughts and feelings?”

Noa turned his head away from you, making a gesture you didn’t understand as he blew out air from his mouth. It felt like a natural response to you being cheeky though. When he turned back he pointed at your chest, “I fix jumble…you teach to read odd sounding…book.”

You tilted your head then, “Are you trying to make a deal with me?”

“No,” Noa huffed, arms crossing. “You have no say…this is what I have…decided.”

“You do realize I was going to teach you to read anyway?” You laughed.

Noa hummed, “Yes…but now I…give back.”

He was always giving back

“Ah,” you said. “And how exactly do you plan to fix the jumble?”

He moved from his sitting position then, standing in a crouch to offer you both of his hands, “Will let you know…when I figure it out…one step…at a time Echo.”

You chuckled in the back of your throat, hesitating only a moment before taking his hands. At first, you expected a swift jerk or a harsh pull upwards, but instead you felt his grip shift. He was carful of your palms, holding the backs of your hands and your wrists now as he carefully pulled you towards him. You were able to keep both feet under you, and Noa merely braced your weight as you pushed yourself to stand, making sure you were stable before releasing you all together. At times like these, you appreciated the intense focus he seemed to have around you, for it allowed him to notice the smaller details you wouldn’t normally think of yourself.

Noa looked down towards the ground for a moment, brows furrowed, then at his still open hands in front of him, before mentioning, “You have never denied…an offer…to touch you.”

“What?” The suddenness of the statement confused you.

Noa stretched out his hand then, as if to demonstrate, “When I offer…you take…when I ask… you agree…you are not afraid when I touch you…when you know I will.”

You shrugged, “I suppose, but that only makes sense. I’m expecting it.”

Noa shook his head then, arms mirroring the motion, a strange look in his eye as he tried to explain, “Ape touch…my touch…not bad.”

“Noa.” You tried to follow, to understand what he was saying, but he was either too excited or he didn’t fully comprehend what he was trying to say either. “I know you have no intentions to hurt me. I know that, but I can’t help my reactions sometimes when-”

“You do not dislike…when I touch you.” Noa interrupted, and it somehow sounded both like a question and a statement.

You licked your lips then, finally understanding what he meant. Your eyes darted to his palms before returning to his face. You shook your head, “I don’t dislike it.”

The admission made heat rush to your cheeks, even though it was an innocent statement. Noa hummed then, swaying slightly as he took a step away from you. You felt your next breath come in a bit easier. He picked up your spear from the ground, where he had been sitting earlier, leaning it against the rock of the cave before saying, “We will start there…build on that.”

The heat did not dissipate from your cheeks from his words, your mind adding fuel to the fire as you imagined multiple ways “building on that” could go. You choked down the heat enough to steady your voice as you asked, “Are you leaving?”

Noa turned then, smirk playing on his lips and brow raising, “Want me…to stay?”

How in the hell were you meant to answer that?! You were sure for a moment your brain stopped working as you attempted to process his words. As if sensing your turmoil, Noa shuffled in place, huffing, “Must return…time approaches for…Great Climb of the season...as Master of Birds I have…much to do.”

You nodded, not quite understanding, but appreciating that he saved you from further embarrassment. You cleared your throat then, legs stiff as you took a few steps towards him, “I’ll walk you out.”

Noa waited for you to be next to him before he took another step towards the exit. You walked out first, watching comically as he had to bend at the waist to get out. He eyed your entrance, wondering, “You will…be able to move rock…now and later?”

You sighed, “Probably not, I’m going to close it half way, nothing should be able to get in that way and I can still slip out if I need to.”

“Sore?” He asked.

“Very,” you half laughed. “It was an…eventful day. Not sure if I can say that it was a good or bad one though. When you aren’t so busy with preparations, we’ll start your reading lessons. So, let me know, okay?”

“Tomorrow,” Noa said confidently, swaying slightly closer to you. “After midday.”

His eagerness did not surprise you, smiling, “Alright. Tomorrow, midday. The three of you can meet me by the creek. Same place as usual.”

He nodded, glancing over to his horse, whose tail was swishing back and forth in irritation at being tied up for so long. Noa returned his attention to you then, sighing, “Be safe…will see you…tomorrow.”

“You be safe as well, it’s dark.” You stated the obvious, internally kicking yourself before giving a small wave. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

[slutt4ellie]

Hearts Over Hierarchy

PT4 - Forgiveness Or Farewell

Loser!Ellie x Popular!Reader

masterslist

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3

Do opposites really attract?

Summery - Ellie has the least bit of concern of  rekindling what you broke, and on the other hand you and Emily haven’t talked about what happened.

Warnings -> Miscommunication / THIS CHAPTER IS MESSY NGL. / Sexual themes mentions / Cut off sex 🤨 / Reader is PROBLEMATIC / feelings are heavily disregarded / brief mentions of Skater!Ellie / (Lmk if I missed anything else.)

WC: 5.1k

(Not proofread)

You’ve tried again and again to get Ellie to talk to you.

She just won’t, she’s blocked your number, has avoided you through campus, and it almost feels like before you knew Ellie.

She just hardly made an acknowledgment she even fucking existed. And that you hated.

Because now since Ellie’s entered your life, picturing her not in it seemed impossible.

And it’s been only a week since Ellie saw you swapping spit with someone you assured her was just your “friend”.

And you genuinely feel like you’re going crazy.

Because if you can’t last a week without her, you don’t know how you’re going to last any longer. It just fucking sucked.

You wanted everything to just sink into the ground and forget any of this happened.

You especially wanted to forget everything that happened with Emily.

Despite you saying you were going to talk to Emily you haven’t got around to it.

Not because you didn’t want to, but the night after the party she had family stuff she had to do. It was planned before everything between the two of you happened, so it couldn’t be avoided.

At least that’s what she’s been telling you.

You’ve texted her a lot, it feels like a parallel with you and Ellie almost, you guys both haven’t discussed what you are, or what is even happening between you two but again it seems oddly romantic.

And that’s just through texting.

Another thing that you’ve been blocking is what happened the night of the party. The one where you and Emily kissed. The drive home was almost silent. Just you and Emily reminiscing in silence both trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

But what unfolded once you reached inside the comforts and privacy of the sorority was something you could have probably gone without.

Because not only did you and Emily kiss once you reached inside, but it resulted in you waking up in her bed.

So yeah. You fucked up.

You’re whole life seems like it’s been thrown for a curveball and you’re just desperately trying to have it be stable.

You don’t know what you want right now.

Or more so who you want.

Emily’s been there for so long of your life, and do you really want to break that simply because you can’t choose between her or Ellie.

No..

You just can’t wrap your head around why it felt like the kiss between you two was something that had to happen, rather than you wanting it to happen. The same when you guys slept together.

Every time you kissed Ellie you didn’t once feel obligated.

So with that knowledge the answer should be easy?

With one person you feel forced, and compelled, and with the second person it feels almost natural.

Fuck if only it was that easy.

After thinking for a solid 5 seconds you decided to make a split decision, that sulking in bed for any longer then you already had wasn’t going to settle anything.

So you groaned as you lifted your body getting a good glance at your bedroom.

Ellie’s skateboard.

Right! She left it in your car after that night.

All you have to do is give it back? You know where her dorm is.

That can give you two a proper chance of actually talking, no Emily, no one near you two. Just you and Ellie.

All you can hope is that she’ll hear you out. That’s all you need.

So that’s what you did.

You put on some clothes looking a bit overly dressed for a simple return of a skateboard but you wanted to look nice…for yourself..?

Because this really isn’t about Ellie finding you attractive it’s about her forgiving you, maybe even rebuilding a possible friendship.

At least that’s what you hoped.

Because as soon as you got out of your car 10 minutes off campus you see the student dorms.

It’s been a little bit since you’ve been to Ellie’s dorm but you had it memorized. So it really didn’t take long.

Because soon you were faced with her door.

It should be as simple as just knocking, but you’re choked up.

Which is weird because you never usually feel yourself get extremely nervous, while interacting with a girl.

But It’s not really just a girl.

It’s Ellie.

You look at her skateboard and quickly remind as to why you’re actually here.

And with that you knock.

It didn’t take long till you were hearing a trail of footsteps coming from the opposite side of the door.

A voice who’s is not Ellie’s saying “I’ll get it El..”

Fuck- fuck is she with a girl right now?

Now you’re wondering why you even came here because is Ellie hooking up with someone? and your looking fucking desperate on the other end with a stupid skateboard and a shitty apology.

But no. Ellie wasn’t hooking up with someone.

It was just Dina.

Dina was the first to hear about what transpired that night. She knows because Ellie called her immediately after the matter.

She was sobbing and her voice was incoherent.

Just a shit ton of hiccups and desperate attempts to get back air she was losing due to your actions. She was really on the brim of a full blown panic attack but some how she managed to keep that factor under wraps.

Dina pulled up a good 5 minutes after, she wasn’t stupid and knew something happened, but she just didn’t except the site which she pulled up on.

Ellie was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk head deep in her palms fully sobbing.

She hated how she was crying because of you.

It made her feel dumb that you got her in a position that resembled a toddler getting told no.

Either way once she felt a hand on her shoulder and Dina’s voice coming through soft she knew it was over.

Because then more tears were coming through and she stood up with the intent to get into Dina’s car. Try to ignore the awkward question.

Basically just not trying to talk or let the thought of you flow freely through her mind any longer.

“Ellie..?” Dina hugs her softly.

Ellie’s arms wrap out Dina instantly and her head goes deep in her shoulder.

A attempt to hide the fact she was bawling. Which was not thought through, yet did give Ellie comfort.

“What happened.” Dina says pulling back to wipe Ellie’s tears.

Ellie just shakes her head and let’s out a out of breath. “Her..”

There’s only one “her” Dina thought of and it was you.

And yet she didn’t know the story at that moment it’s all she needed to hear that you were cut out of Ellie’s life.

Because not once in their 10+ years of friendship has she ever seen Ellie like that.

Ellie’s had meltdowns, like literally everyone in her life. But even when Cat broke up with Ellie her girlfriend of a year she didn’t have a reaction like this one.

She didn’t completely understand what you could have done to get Ellie in this position but she knows it has to be bad.

“You need to leave.” Dina says, her eyes seem mad and directed to you.

“I just want to talk.? Please.” You beg out desperately.

“Leave.” Dina shakes her head once again.

“I have her skateboard..” You hold out allowing Dina’s gaze to trail off of you and onto the skateboard.

Dina reaches out her palm. A flat surface so you can easily give it to her.

“D-dina can I just talk to her..?” You ask again. Not yet handing the skateboard to her.

Dina’s wants to laugh in your face, because it’s ironic how you ended up kissing someone, yet you’re outside acting like you could cry.

“Are you fucking joking?” Dina says now stepping out of the dorm shutting the door gently trying not to have Ellie assume somethings happening.

“W-what?” You say.

And now Dina does laugh, making you feel like an idiot for even coming.

“You weren’t the fucking one who picked up Ellie after she saw you!-” Dina emphasized on the you by pushing her finger right in the middle of your collarbone. “Fucking kissing Emily or whatever the fuck her name is!”

“I know-I know I fucked up.” You shake your head.

“Is that supposed to offer comfort?” Dina says.

“But it’s not like that?!” You try, but it goes ignored by Dina.

“Are you trying to justify it or some shit?” Dina says.

“W-what no!” You shake your head really fast.

“I’m not! I know what I did- was insanely fucked up! And if I could take it back I would?” You say.

“Well you can’t.” Dina says.

“Stop trying?” She continues.

“Just leave Ellie alone. It’s over and you made that decision..” Dina sighs out.

You look her up and down. Trying to think of anything so Dina won’t walk out just yet.

“..You block me or her?” You spit out nervously. You really don’t know why you’re asking that. It just feels like you should try to talk as much as you can. Maybe Dina will see you actually do care.

“Does it matter?” Dina rubs her hand down her face, a result of being annoyed by you.

“Yeah?” You look up at her.

“Me.” Dina says shaking her head.

“You’re not good for her.” Dina says looking at you.

“I’ve never seen Ellie like that before.” Dina try’s to explain.

She doesn’t like you, or thinks you deserve any sort of explanation, but she thinks you do deserve to realize how much you actually did hurt Ellie.

“As in.?” You questioned.

“It doesn’t matter.” Dina shakes her head slowly going back to Ellie’s dorm door.

“It does!?” You say desperately. About to get another word out.

But both of you gazes are turned at the door when you hear a click signalling it opened.

Ellie has a grey hoodie and baggy jeans on. Her eyes are red.

You know she’s been crying.

Before seeing you in front of Dina’s body she talks. “Dina why are you just fucking out her-“

Ellie gets her voice cut off because she’s looking at you.

Her frown comes back, and her eyes are glossy once again.

You don’t say anything, neither does Dina, and obviously Ellie.

So now the whole hallway is filled with a shit ton of awkward silence..

Dina decides to break it first.

“I was just sending her off.” Dina says turning to look at Ellie.

Ellie hardly responds her gaze pierced on the floor. “Ah..”

“Can we talk?” You say and Dina sighs, she knows Ellie’s going to say yes..

Ever since Ellie sobered up and her anger partially subsided she wanted to reach out to you first.

Dina told her nothing good is going to come from it, and since your number was now blocked on Ellie’s phone she couldn’t really so much.

Dina’s been glued to Ellie’s side so it made it impossible to even see you.

“Yeah.” Ellie immediately responds before looking at Dina.

“I’ll be fine.” She offers a comforting smile.

Dina groans but nods, she knows she can’t fight it. Because Ellie seems to stick to things when her minds focused on it.

So she complied telling Ellie she’ll grab the two of them some food.

And soon you’re in Ellie’s dorm, somewhere where you haven’t been in about 2 weeks.

“S-sorry it’s messy.” Ellie finally pulls down her hood sitting on the edge of her single bed..

“It-it’s fine really..”

Ellie out of nervousness subconsciously start’s fidgeting with her two fingers before spitting out some that feels like fire on her tongue.

“Are you and Emily dating..” Ellie clears her throat as tears again are brewing.

“No.” You say fast shaking you head.

As you feel a singular tear fall down your left cheek you wipe it off. Ellie notices and looks at you.

“I-I don’t even know why I kissed her.” You say.

Ellie doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t want to forgive you, she just doesn’t really want to see you crying, despite the state you had her in a week ago.

“Okay..” Ellie says.

“I don’t know what you want me to do with that information.” It came out cold, but right now she couldn’t act like she was happy.

“I’m not waiting for you to fucking figure out who you want.” Ellie says having you quickly cut her off.

“It’s not like that?” You shake your head.

“Mhm..” Ellie sighs.

“Did you guys-“ Ellie starts but you cut her off.

“Ellie?..” You don’t want to answer it, because the only thing you could reply with would be the truth. That being yes.

“It’s literally a yes or no question.” Ellie presses.

But when no response comes from you, she got her answer.

“Dina was right- you should just leave.”

“Ellie-“ You sigh out.

“No you need to leave.” She says standing up. Clearly her throat so her voice appears as more full.

“I-I can’t..” You say looking at her also standing up.

“Please just leave.” Ellie looks down now tearing up. Her walls feel like their crumbling all over again. The last thing she wants to do is cry in front of you.

You hesitantly move your hand to her cheek.

Ellie’s eyes close and she leans into your touch.

“Do you like me.” Ellie ask.

“Yes..” You say not hesitating.

“Do you like her.” Ellie ask.

“Ellie she’s my best friend.” You say.

Ellie sighs and pulls back opening her eyes. The lights again were just turned on. “Yeah well she clearly fucking loves you?”

Ellie feels like she’s growing crazy the more she talks to you. It’s like everyone but you sees it.

“Dina’s my best friend and i’ve never wanted to make out with her?! Fuck let alone sleep with her!?” She says.

“You don’t get it Ellie!” You yell.

“Then fucking explaining dude!” Ellie yells back.

“Am I a fucking joke to you?” Ellie ask.

“What..” You say looking at her.

“Am I a FUCKING joke.” Ellie yells right in your face. Something that you’re unfortunately getting used to..

Neither of you willing to admit that yelling about it isn’t going to fix shit.

After a long pause you finally talk.

“Would you be my friend if I hypothetically started dating Emily.” You say it like your tired. And to be fair you are.

Ellie doesn’t respond, she just looks down embarrassed. Her anger fading.

Because no.

She wouldn’t be.

And you know she wouldn’t be. Just by the fact Ellie’s eyes can’t meet yours and her teeth are slotted in her bottom lip are a clear sign she wouldn’t be.

Her mannerisms made that clear.

“Exactly.” You say.

“I doubt Emily would want to be friends either.” You clear your throat.

Ellie looks at you.

She doesn’t know what to do, because now she’s currently feeling multiple emotions. It feels like everything is flowing through her mind and she can’t control it.

That she hates.

Because she doesn’t like feeling anger when she looks at you. It’s shitty.

So she takes a step forward and literally just hugs you.

You instantly wrap your arms around Ellie falling into her embrace which grants you in warmth. It’s been a bit since you’ve guys been physical but it wasn’t off.

I guess something you didn’t anticipate is the light kiss on your forehead which followed. But either way you didn’t mention it. It’s literally only been a week and before everything went down with Emily you and Ellie were obviously often being physically. That including kissing.

So even though she hasn’t kissed you in awhile the kiss to your head wasn’t shocking.

“I would never make you pick.” Ellie sighs pulling back.

“Y-you know that.” Ellie smiles lightly. It’s more to comfort you. Because even though she doesn’t want to make you pick she doesn’t want to face you with someone else.

“I just- I don’t think I could be your friend if you dated her.” She looks down.

“And that’s not even fucking supposed to persuade you. I just- like couldn’t.” Ellie says her arms still wrapped around you.

Yours eyes met and it feels again like you again, have a decision. She moves her hand to your cheek and tucks a strand behind your ear.

Ellie’s eyes glance to your lips and she internally leans in.

You also lean in.

You don’t really know who kissed who. But once your lips met the two of you both started making out hungrily.

There was little pants as Ellie’s lips moved to the side of your lips, meeting your jaw, then neck. She sucks accompanied with a bite which is going to leave a mark. You know that and she does too, that reason being Emily, she’s the only reason why she even felt the need to leave a hickey..

She wanted it to be known.

“Fuck..” Ellie pants out moving the both of you to the bed sliding off her hoodie in the process.

It doesn’t take long till Ellie’s pressed on top of you refusing to break the kiss.

Her hands slip on the hoodie out of pure nervousness but she eventually gets it off.

It leaves her in just her sports bra while she’s desperately trying not to break the kiss between you two.

Your hands hastily find Ellie’s jean button and you don’t waste time to unbutton them..

While her jean button is getting undone her hands go under your shirt squeezing your boobs, again still not breaking the kiss.

It happened fast, because the moment went from making out to your hand inside Ellie’s jeans cuffing Ellie’s pussy.

As you’re rubbing light circles on Ellie’s clit feeling the wetness through her boxers there’s a consecutive number of knocks.

Ellie’s whole face turns red and she starts to pull back from you as your remove you hand from her jeans.

You guys are both just silently looking at each other wondering if there really was a knock. Or if it was your mind playing tri-

There’s another knock and Dina’s voice talks. “Yo- can one of you grab the door my hands are full”

Ellie scrambles and helps you off the bed first before standing up and buckling back up her jeans.

She watches you slowly walk to the door straightening you clothes in the process.

As you walk to her dorm door you see Ellie’s now back in her grey hoodie giving a signal you can open the door.

Even though you can you hesitate having your hand shadow the door handle, hesitating to open it.

But after swallowing a big chunk of air you do. You see Dina’s gaze travel back and forth between you and Ellie.

Based on Ellie’s flushed cheeks, and how she’s purposefully avoiding Dina’s gaze, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that’s the fuck was happening.

Or what was going to happen?

“You two were gonna fuck!” Dina accuses putting the food on Ellie’s studying table.

“W-what no!” Ellie shakes her head nervously.

“W-we weren’t!” Ellie talks.

“I was gone for like 13 minutes??” Dina then turns to look directly at you.

“Fuck Ellie you fold so fast?” Dina groans.

“No I don’t??” Ellie says embarrassed walking towards Dina falling right beside you.

“Yeah sure you don’t?” Dina looks back at Ellie rolling her eyes.

“So you two didn’t kiss?” Dina questions tilting her head.

Ellie just groans and grabs your hand out of instinct, again like always she doesn’t really think. She just does it.

“You’re so weird?.” Ellie sighs.

Dina nods and rolls her eyes. “You two literally were about to fuck after I was gone for like 5 minutes, but you know! i’m weird..” Dina mutters.

“We weren’t!” Ellie says putting her head in her free hand.

Emily was coming back to the sorority today. And you were nervous.

And if you’re being honest with yourself that was an understatement, you didn’t know what the fuck to do.

It was late and you’ve been staring at your ceiling for what feels like a few hours.

After you and Ellie kissed, you decided to stay the night. Where you guys did end up sleeping together..

And the rest of that night was filled with kissing, cuddling, staying in each others arms all night, and a few hickeys which you now needed to cover.

But then again after that moment with Ellie it became ultimately clear that with Ellie it wasn’t forced..

And with Emily it was.

You hated yourself for feeling that way and there’s a part of you that wishes maybe those feelings could be reciprocated.

Because then everything would be easy.

But no.

You’ve only ever seen Emily as a friend.

And that’s something you had to face.

So when you hear the door open and the other girls greeting Emily you knew she was back.

And you knew you had to talk to her,

As much as you wanted to run away.

You had to..You had to face an awkward ass conversation.

So reluctantly that’s what you did, you turned over getting off your bed, putting on some makeup to cover the few hickeys, and sucked up any nervous feelings, making your way down the stairs.

It didn’t take long till your eyes meeting blue ones.

That’s when the guilt struck. Because you haven’t told Emily what the fuck happened while she was gone, and it’s dawning that you again led another person on. It was Ellie first and now her.

Emily smiles and walks to the end of the stairs where you were coming down.

“Hey!” Emily says hugging you.

“Hi..!” You’re arms wrapped around Emily as she hug you, the thing was you couldn’t hide that your voice was off. Having Emily pick up on it.

Like she always done.

“What’s up.?” Emily uses one hand to cuff your cheek.

“Can we talk.” You clear your throat.

Emily nods and smiles trying to cover her nervousness.

She didn’t understand what could have happened to have you want to talk to her immediately?

“Yeah..course..!” Emily frowns then covers it quickly plastering on an obvious fake smile.

Which you ignored.

With that you and Emily trail to your bedroom.

Once the door is closed Emily sits on your bed and you’re nervously looking down on her.

“W-what’s up?” Emily says.

You look at her for a few seconds. You don’t know how to say it? How to tell her that just a few days after you left you and Ellie kissed? Then slept together.

“I-Em i’m so sorry..” You tear up.

“What..?” Emily frowns again.

Emily stands up and holds your cheeks.

She’s obviously still oblivious, she’s not sure what could have happened to have to freak out so fast?

“What happened..” Emily kisses your nose.

You close your eyes and finally spit out the words that were longing on your tongue..

“Emily me and Ellie we-“

Emily doesn’t even let you finish you sentence before she pulls back.

“Emily..” You reach out and she looks at her.

“I’m not doing this..anymore.” Emily shakes her head tearing up.

You look at her. “Emily you know I love you so much” You nod.

“I just-“ You try to talk.

“You love Ellie..don’t you?” Emily shakes her head running her hand down her face.

“I-I don’t kn-“ You can’t spit it out.

“You guys deserve each other. Don’t worry. You really do.” Emily puts on a fake smile before clearing her throat.

“I’m not gonna fucking beg for your love anymore.” Emily says.

“Emily-“ You try but she just shakes her head.

“It’s fine really.” Emily nods.

“You’ve never begging for my love?” You say again stepping forward which just leads her to step back once again.

“I do love you- you’re my best friend.” You wipes you own tears.

“Exactly!- you don’t fucking..you don’t see me like that. So i’m done” Emily says her voice choking up in the middle.

And it’s true, she was done. She was done.

So now you’re just alone with your thoughts, finally letting it dawn on you what the fuck has happened..

You lost Emily.

The girl who you’ve known for years, left your room on the brink of tears and now it’s starting to feel like you just permanently closed a chapter.

Now no longer being able to open it.

You don’t know what to do. And to be honest that really scares you.

You go back and forth between a decision for a few seconds..

You finally grab your phone out of your pocket, shaky hands and nervousness coursing through your body.

You hesitate to click Ellie’s contact but you do.

Right now you only have one person and that’s her.

Emily was a person you could always go to. whether it be serious or stupid she was always there.

But this time it was about her? And you didn’t know how to handle it without any reassurance.

Leaving Ellie as the next option.

It rang for a few seconds before Ellie’s voice came through. She sounds like she’s been sleeping since you notice a rasp and tired tone.

“Hi?” Ellie says yawning.

“Hi.” Your tone is shaking and you sound like your about to cry. Ellie notices that.

“What’s up?” You can already hear sounds of Ellie standing up probably deciding whether or not you need help or something.

“Where you at?” Ellie questions.

“I’m okay- just wanted to talk?” You don’t want her to go out of her way to come all the way to the  sorority.

Ellie didn’t have a car and it was late. You didn’t want her outside.

“Yeah we can talk when I get there? You just home.?” Ellie ask as you hear shuffles only assuming she was putting on her shoes.

“Ellie-“ You sigh choking back a shit ton of tears.

Even though you didn’t explicitly tell Ellie that you’re home she assumed. She could hear a few girls in the background talking so she just took that as a sign.

Ellie talks again. Opening her dorm room door. “It’s okay i’ll be over in like 10 minutes bab-“

Ellie hung up before she could even finish her sentence and now you’re again left with your thoughts.

And that’s when you finally come to the conclusion.

You’re 100% the problem.

You’ve taken Emily and Ellie’s feelings for granted and it’s showing.

You lost Emily and you’re not exactly sure why Ellie sticks around. It doesn’t feel fair to hold both of them by a thread and it was proven when Emily’s broke.

Now it was only time till Ellie’s did.

At least that’s what you were starting to believe.

“Baby..” Ellie sighs leaning into hug you. Putting her skateboard to the side.

You can only respond by hugging her back tears now starting to fall.

“What happened?” Ellie ask pulling back and wiping your tears accompanied with light kisses to the nose.

“Emily..you don’t have to worry about her anymore-“ You clear your and rub your eyes.

“I don’t think we’re friends anymore.” You say trying to plaster a fake smile. Causing Ellie to frown.

Ellie could honestly care less if Emily left, it’s the state that she sees your left in which hurts.

Your hands are shaking when they wrap around her, tears are flowing, and the confident tone she can distinct you for, is gone?

It feels like you’re leaving her, pushing back.

“I’m so sorry-“ Ellie try’s but you wave your hand dismissively.

“No-it’s fine. Really.” You say.

“Why’d she leave.” Ellie ask.

“I told her we-“ You start.

Ellie cuts you off with yet another hug. You can feel her shake her head on your shoulder.

She doesn’t need an explanation. She can use context clues to understand why Emily decided to leave.

But that’s when you finally spit it out.

What’s been going through your mind.

“I can’t do this Ellie.”

You look straight at her.

“What do you mean you can’t do this..?” Ellie now ask.

“You need someone who is good for you. Dina said it and she was right..i’m not good for you?..” You say.

“You can’t be serious.” Ellie looks straight at you.

“What-?” You breathlessly sigh.

“I’m not doing this with you again?” Ellie shakes her head.

And when she said that, you assumed she’d leave. Ending two relationships you had in just one night.

Even though on the contrary it seemed like this would be the worst thing to ever happen for you it gave comfort.

Because with no one around you can’t hurt anyone else…hypothetically at least..?

But Ellie doesn’t leave she just keeps going, and now it feels like her mouth and thoughts might just not stop.

Like she can’t control it.

“Why-why can’t you just understand I don’t fucking want anyone else?” Ellie’s at this point was begging.

Begging for you to understand.

“I’ll leave you alone- if you really do want me too.” Ellie says.

“But since we kissed it’s like the only thing I think about.” She needs you to get that she doesn’t want someone else.

She just wants you.

It’s the reason she’s been going through thick and thin for you. She just needs you to understand.

“I love you..?” It sounded more like a question then a statement.

Because Ellie hesitated to say it even though she meant it.

Plus it being the first time Ellie had ever said that to you made the whole situation all that more intense.

Because you don’t know if you can mentally accept the fact you just might love her back.

So you just look at her.

And now Ellie’s embarrassed.

Because never would she ever want you to feel forced to say it? I guess that’s why it hurt when you didn’t say it back.

Because if you’re not forced and you seemed to have no interest in saying it. You really didn’t love her the way she loved you. That hurt?

Because it put into reality you and Ellie truly weren’t on the same page.

That maybe she was imagining it-

Ellie probably didn’t notice that you conflicted gaze turned more into a determined one as she spaced out.

Because..

Your lips are suddenly on Ellie’s.

Ellie can only respond by pushing her lips hardly back on yours holding you cheeks not leaving room for her to pull back.

And with that, you finally something that’s been longing.

“I love you too.” You say into her mouth.

That’s all Ellie needed to hear to realize it wasn’t some fling.

You loved her.

And she wasn’t letting that go.

A/N -> I KNOW THIS IS BAD.

I DONT WANNA TALK ABT IT.

I literally had zero fucking clue how to end this shit so everything happens extremely fast.

(mainly because I was making the plot as I got to it! 🌚)

BUT! I was gonna do a sad ending where the reader ends up alone so be happy I didn’t stick with that. 🙂

Honestly I was just trying to close off this story so I can put my main focus on Fated Hearts Start With Fire since I have SOO much planned with that 🙏

But I hope you guys enjoyed reading because despite it being ass it is the last one for this series.

(Like and reblogs are always appreciated!)

Taglist : @bready101 @onlinelesbo @amberputh @seraphicsentences @a-little-bit-of-everybody @zoehxnji @graviewaviee @i-feel-violated @elliesexual @macaroni676 @liasxeatt @m4rshm3ll0

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Eros: Chapter Six

Eros: Married to Dream of the Endless, you find yourself sent back in time to Ancient Greece where you, unfortunately, meet Oneiros. Fresh off a divorce and drowning the sorrows of his son’s death by indulging in the Panathenaia, you find yourself trapped beneath the lustful gaze of your future husband. In your defense, he seduced you first…

Warnings: Even More Filth, Explicit Language, Explicit Material.

To Note: Morpheus x Wife!Reader, Time Travel, Oneiros is used for AncientGreek!Morpheus.

Word Count: ~3.0k

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Oneiros scowls at the brunch you attend days after your first bath together. He watches while you pretend not to notice and happily chat with Merope and Helike, no doubt sulking over the fact that he couldn’t ascertain any information on your background.

As the conversation flows and laughter fills the air, Oneiros' scowl deepens. His piercing gaze bores into you, making you squirm slightly in your seat. You can’t shake the feeling that he is searching for something in your eyes, something that would give away the secrets you are so desperate to conceal. To distract yourself, you turn your attention back to Merope, who is animatedly recounting a recent adventure she had embarked upon with Helike. Something about naked men, you think? But despite your best efforts to focus on her words, your mind keeps drifting back to Oneiros and the unsettling intensity of his stare. It is only a matter of time before he uncovers the truth you have fought so hard to bury. He is persistent like that. But you have gotten very good at distracting him with sex.

Lots of filthy, unadulterated sex that leaves you incredibly sore but more than satisfied and him, more importantly, distracted.

Merope's story about the naked men, while intriguing, can't fully capture your attention as Oneiros' gaze continues to linger on you like a heavy weight. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks under his scrutiny, a telltale sign of your unease. Despite your practiced facade of nonchalance, the knowledge of the secrets you harbor simmers beneath the surface, threatening to spill over at any moment.

You excuse yourself from the table under the pretense of needing a refill on your wine, though in reality, you need a moment alone to collect your thoughts and steel yourself against Oneiros' relentless pursuit of the truth. The cool marble of the courtyard provides some solace as you lean against a pillar, trying to steady your racing heart.

Before long, footsteps approach, and you know without looking that it is him. Oneiros has always been able to find you, no matter where you try to hide. His presence is magnetic, drawing you in even closer when all you want to do is run. He leans against the pillar next to you, the scent of his cologne mingling with the faint aroma of wine that clings to his skin.

Fine then, you’ll just remove yourself from the brunch entirely!

You decide to make a swift exit from the courtyard, determined to distance yourself from Oneiros and his relentless pursuit of your past. As you briskly walk away from the brunch, your mind races with thoughts of how to evade his probing inquiries. A nearly impossible task at this point. The sun beats down on you as you navigate through the winding paths of the estate, seeking refuge in the lush gardens that sprawl beyond the main house.

You sigh in contentment upon seeing that the stone table is empty and the garden devoid of others. Coming to a slow stop near the center, you twist your hands together and purse your lips. It is a relief to have a moment of solitude, away from the prying eyes and relentless questions that seem to follow you wherever you go. The gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze and the distant chirping of birds provide a soothing backdrop to your racing thoughts. You close your eyes, willing your mind to calm so you can think clearly.

But as you stand there, trying to gather your composure, a voice cuts through the tranquility of the garden. "Running away won't solve anything," Oneiros' voice rings out, his tone a mixture of amusement and something else you can't quite place. Probably irritation at this point. You tense at his unexpected appearance, realizing that perhaps there is no escaping his persistent presence.

As if he would ever let you run away from your problems.

Turning slowly to face him, you find Oneiros standing a few feet away, his expression inscrutable as he studies you with those piercing silver-blue eyes. His casual demeanor belies the intensity that simmers beneath the surface.

“I am but taking a breather from company, my lord,” you reply, your voice steady despite the turmoil brewing within you. “It is a rather stuffy day, is it not?”

Oneiros takes a step closer, his gaze unwavering as he assesses you with a knowing look that sets your nerves on edge.

"But are you truly seeking solitude, or are you attempting to evade the inevitable?" he muses cryptically, his words hanging heavy in the air between you.

Inevitable? Not if you have anything to say about it.

“I would hardly call it inevitable,” you state before lifting your chin. "I have nothing to hide," you declare, though the hollow ring of your words betrays the lie.

“Nothing to hide, you say?” Oneiros’s voice is like velvet over steel, deceptively smooth yet carrying an underlying edge that sets your nerves on fire. Why does his voice have to turn you on? “Then why do you run, αστέρι μου? Why do you always find yourself on the brink of flight whenever the truth draws near?”

“Perhaps I simply like the chase,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible. Oneiros chuckles softly at your response, his eyes glinting with a mix of amusement and something darker that is unnerving. You double down. “You do not appear to be opposed.”

With a knowing smile, Oneiros closes the distance between you until there is barely a breath of space separating your bodies. The heat of his proximity sears through you, igniting a primal longing that you struggle to contain. His hand reaches out, a feather-light touch tracing the curve of your jaw before tilting your chin up to meet his gaze.

“You mistake pursuit for acquiescence, αστέρι μου,” he murmurs, his voice a low whisper that sends a thrill down your spine. “I can play this game for eternity if that is your wish.”

God damn your husband has game!

A flush creeps up your neck at his words, a mixture of desire and defiance swirling within you. But before you can form a retort, Oneiros leans in closer, his breath ghosting over your lips in a tantalizing caress. Time stretches between you, and in that moment, you can feel the intensity of his desire, a palpable energy that crackles between you like lightning. And then, with a flicker of challenge within his eyes, his lips descend upon yours in a kiss that is both fiery and tender.

His hand is in your hair, pushing your mouth to his as his tongue traces the edges of your lips before delving deep into your mouth. You moan softly, your body arching into his, feeling the hardness of his erection press against your thigh. Oneiros forces you into taking steps back, your feet stumbling over soft grass until your cartwheeling hands land on stone. The table.

An overwhelming rush of emotions consumes you as Oneiros' lips continually assault yours. You cling to him, gasping for air as your body trembles with desire. The intensity of the kiss leaves you dizzy and weak in the knees. Oneiros pulls back, his intense gaze holding you captive while he takes in every detail of your flushed face and the impact of his actions.

"Do you understand now, αστέρι μου?" he asks, the heat in his eyes communicating the demands hidden in his words. "I am not a game to be played. I am passion, I am dreams, I am everything you will ever crave and more." Well he wasn’t lying about that…

Your eyes flutter, the fire within you only growing stronger. “And yet I am the one holding your strings,” you breathe out, watching the clear enjoyment of your confidence flicker in his eyes. Hah! As if he’d let you get away with calling him a puppet! In less than a second, he has your body hoisted up and laying flat on the stone table, the skirts of your peplum thrust aside.

Oneiros' eyes never leave yours as he positions himself over you, the hunger and domination in his stare sending another wave of desire coursing through your veins. His hand reaches between your legs, and your breath hitches as his fingers gently brush against your cunt. "Do you really think you can control me, αστέρι μου?" he murmurs, his voice a low growl that ignites a flame within you.

Not exactly, but you can certainly distract him. It got you this far, had it not?

With a sudden, possessive urgency, Oneiros plunges into you, his hips grinding against your flesh in a perfect rhythm. You cry out, your body contorting in a mix of pleasure and pain as his desire consumes you in rapid fashion. The intensity of the moment leaves you breathless, your heart pounding as he continues to take you, driving deeper and deeper into your cunt.

With each forceful thrust, his hips roll against yours in an animalistic rhythm, unleashing torrents of pleasure that engulf every part of your being. Your body instinctively arches towards him, aching for more of his touch, desperate to be consumed by the intensity of his desire for you. One hand firmly grips your thigh while the other holds your wrist captive, tethering you to him as he relentlessly plunges into you with unwavering power and determination. The raw energy and passion between you builds with each movement, creating a fiery symphony of sensations that consume you completely.

Your orgasm builds fast, the pleasure mounting within you like a tidal wave. You throw your head back, the sensation of his hands and thighs pushing and pulling against your body until you whine almost incoherently. He switches the angle of his thrusts, hitting a spot deep within you that sends you spiraling into a world of pure ecstasy. With your entire body convulsing beneath him, your moans and cries grow loud until you are wailing as your orgasm crashes down upon you.

Oneiros sees the moment of your release and savors it, the sight of your body writhing beneath him stirring something deep within him. As you succumb to the delicious euphoria, he continues to drive pleasure inside you, driving himself deeper with each thrust, his cock pulsating with every beat of your heart. The air is thick with the scent of sweat and desire, the only sound in the garden the echoing of your heavy gasps and the slap of flesh against flesh.

You are lost in a hazy abyss of bliss, every cell in your body alight with the fire of passion. Oneiros' every movement pushes you further to the edge, his hands gripping your flesh with a raw intensity that matches the storm raging within your soul. Never has a connection been so strong, every breath you take becoming a testament to the unyielding power of his love.

You peak yet again, an agonizing cry of pleasure leaving your lips while your body shakes violently beneath his relentless onslaught. With one last powerful thrust, Oneiros groans out your name, Elpis, and a flicker of hatred spills into your aching heart. But it’s the name you have to live with for now. The hold upon your body loosens, and for a moment you think that he finally fucked all his irritation out.

Oh, he is far from done with you.

Muscles flex beneath the Grecian sun as Oneiros effortlessly sweeps you into his arms and strides back to the stone buildings. You can barely keep up with the halls and rooms he strides through, but you instantly recognize his bedchamber the moment he enters. Oneiros gently places you on the large bed, his eyes watching you ever so carefully as he begins to undo the little pins holding his tunic on his body.

As his tunic falls away, revealing his toned, muscular form, you feel a new wave of desire wash over you. You never get tired of admiring his form. Never. He steps closer to the bed, and you can feel the heat radiating from his body, the scent of his lust enveloping you. You prop yourself up onto your hands and look him up and down with a raised eyebrow.

“While I do appreciate your form, my lord, I am still clothed,” you remark arrogantly, gesturing to the chiton covering your body. He smirks at your comment, his eyes never leaving yours as he slowly begins to unwrap the fabric from your body. Each pass of his lithe fingers over your skin sends shivers of electricity through your body. When all the pins are gone, his fingers wrap around the fabric and swiftly pull it free from your body. He doesn’t bother appreciating your form for he already knows you rival Aphrodite.

His lips meet yours and the passion ignites once again. Your tongues dance together, exploring each other like you haven’t done so hundreds of times before. When Oneiros nips at your lower lip, you air out a moan that feeds the Endless’ insatiable hunger. His mouth finds its way down your neck, his lips and teeth leaving a trail of fire against your skin. You can't help but cry out in pleasure-pain as he claims the sensitive spot at the base of your throat with his teeth, determined to ensure that the mark already there, remains.

From there his mouth wanders, marking up your collarbones, teasing and nipping at the soft curves of your breasts, and suckling your nipples in such a way that you lose all sense of self-control. His hands explore your body as his lips return to ravage yours, leaving no part of you untouched. And yet, as much as you want to indulge in the delight of his mouth greedily drinking from your cunt, you need a break and feel a sliver of greed. With unexpected strength, you wrap your leg around Oneiros’ and use your body to reverse your positions, swinging your body until you sit perfectly perched upon his straining erection.

“You leave me starving, my lord,” you state, your tone near a low growl. Silver-blue eyes turn mercury as you scoot yourself backward, making room for you to feast upon your desired prize.

Oneiros gazes at you with a mixture of lust and hunger when you begin to lose yourself in the sinful act you both crave. Your lips part in anticipation, curving into a seductive smirk shortly before enveloping his throbbing cock.

His breath hitches as your skilled tongue dances around the tip, eliciting a soft groan that fills the room with a feral energy. Your lips then close around him, sucking gently as you slide down along his length, savoring every inch of his hardness.

You make sure to move your mouth slow, savoring every sensation and every sound he makes as you take him deep into your throat. He really does make the most beautiful sounds. Oneiros' hands tangle in your hair and pulls you closer with each stroke, his hips thrusting up to meet your deliberate pace. His action causes you to choke for a brief moment but you can’t bear to stop, not when he sounds so delicious.

Oneiros cannot hold back any longer, not with your bewitching lips and tongue carving out such divine pleasure. He thrusts his hips forward, claiming your throat with one final, deep thrust as he erupts inside your mouth. His seed pours down your throat and you force yourself to swallow, relishing the taste of him, and holding him tighter. Feeling extra devious, you make sure your eyes never leave his as the last drops of his seed spill down your throat.

Oneiros shudders as he pulls out of your throat and you almost melt when he caresses your throat. Licking your lips, you smirk at him while the taste of him lingers on your tongue, a sweet and salty reminder of the power you hold over an Endless.

"You are a goddess," Oneiros husks, his voice thick with both admiration and need.

You laugh softly, lips curving into a knowing smirk. You had plenty of time to figure out what drove him crazy, sucking him off was all too easy for you. "And you, my lord, are a delicious feast."

Oneiros chuckles, his eyes glittering with amusement and desire. "A feast I shall enjoy many times over," he promises, pulling you up to face him. His hand cups your cheeks and his thumbs gently trace the curve of your lips, enraptured by their sweet divinity. "But for now, I have another meal to satisfy."

He spins you around, pushing you against the soft bedding with impressive speed and ease. Your fingers dig into the sheets as he roughly positions you, your legs spread and your back arching. Oneiros grabs your hips, pulling you closer to him as he thrusts inside you, burying himself deep. Your breath hitches, the sensation overwhelming as he fills you completely. Are you not already raw and over-sensitized from your previous orgasms?

He begins to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first but quickly gaining speed and intensity. You cry out, your body trembling as the pleasure builds, a storm inside you waiting to break. Oneiros' hands grip your waist tightly, his thrusts even harder now with each stroke. You can feel his undiluted desire, the raw power coursing through him, connecting you with him in a way that leaves you breathless.

The anticipation of another orgasm builds, causing your heart to race and your breath to become shallow. One too many. You hold onto the sheets with a tight grip, your nails digging into the fabric as you surrender yourself to the intense pleasure. Your eyes flutter shut, consumed by the moment as Oneiros' skilled and rhythmic movements push you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.

Your body ignites and you arch your back even further, thrusting back against him in rhythm. Oneiros groans, his own arousal heightening with every stroke, and you know that the climax is near. His hands tighten around your waist, pulling you closer, and you can feel another burst of desire course through him. With one final thrust, Oneiros releases inside you, the warmth of his seed spreading throughout your cunt.

You collapse onto the bed, your heart still pounding heavily in your chest. The sheet is tangled around your legs, but you don't have the energy to mind nor care. You are properly fucked.

Date Published: 6/5/24

Last Edit: 6/5/24

Previous | Masterlist | Next

[chaotic-fandom-writer]

Adam x Reader P.2 (Hazbin Hotel)

Warnings: Heavy cursing, violence, adult themes

Chapters I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII

You

Heaven.

That was where you ended up.

No, no, no this can't be happening -

Your internal thoughts keep getting cut off by people trying to speak to you, to welcome and guide you, but you completely shut everything and everyone out. All you can think is that you'll never see your friends again, they could all die without you down there. And worst of all, you know eventually you'll come face to face with him.

He's the entire fucking reason you ended up here! If he wasn't meddling with your life, you would've been surrounded by your friends, fighting. Not exposed on a rooftop.

That's it, you decided. From here on out, I hate him. Clenching your jaw, you allow yourself to be pulled along by the angels, guiding you to your new room and giving you a general tour.

The most notable people you'd met so far had been Sera and Emily, two of the upper-level angels around. They arranged a meeting with you to discuss "what this means," and left you alone in your room.

What this means? You think to yourself. For who though?

--

Adam

Still clutching onto (Y/N)'s now lifeless body, he slowly began to lower her down, rubbing the dried tears from his eyes.

Lute just stood, silently. She's probably confused. He thought to himself. And she's got that judgy-bitch look in her eyes I know she gets.

"Sir-" She started.

"Just don't." He took one last look at the body before him, then sounded the signal, opening up the portal to head back into Heaven.

Heaven seemed.. different. Everyone was running all over the place. Adam could tell they were still trying to act like everything was okay, but truthfully, the entire kingdom just had an uncomfortable, almost panicked buzz flying around it, like a swarm of angry bees on a hot summer day.

"Lute, what the fuck is going on?"

"I- I'm not sure sir. I'll go see."

She flew on ahead, and he paused, taking a good look around. People ran up to each other speaking in hurried, hushed tones, others were locking their windows and drawing their blinds.

Finally, Adam grabbed the wrist of the first person he came across. "You. What the fuck is going on here?"

The man stutters, his eyes barely registering Adam. They were glazed over like foggy glass, beads of sweat forming on the tip of his nose.

"They - they made it in."

Adam furrowed his brow. "Who did?"

"The sinners!" He screamed, wrenching his wrist free and bolting down the street.

"Oh HELL no."

Adam knew he had to find Sera. Fast.

--

"Sera! Sera, you bitch, do you have any idea how long I've been looking for you?" He doubles over, panting, somehow out of breath.

"Adam. We have a problem."

"Yeah, so I was hearing. A sinner got into Heaven? Was there a breach or something?"

She shakes her head, looking grim. "A death."

He looks at her, taken aback. "A death? Of a sinner from Hell? That's impossible Sera."

"Well, believe it Adam. That's not the worst of it, either.." She trails off, walking towards a window, staring out over the city. "Well, what then?" He questions.

She stands silently for a moment, before turning to him, her face falling. "It's her, Adam."

He can feel his heart drop into his stomach. "Her who?" He asks, even though he already knows the answer.

"Don't play games."

"She CAN'T fucking be here Sera! She just- she can't, okay? There's no way, that's impossible." He can feel his hands shake, and his breath quickens.

"Go see for yourself then. Room 4B." She dangles a key from her fingertips.

Snatching it, he spreads his wings, clenching his teeth through the pain of his now-rapidly healing wing, and flies down the halls as fast as he can.

There's no way, there's no way, there's no way -

Room 4B. He stops in front of it, unsure what to do now that he's made it this far.

Adam lifts a shaky hand to the door and..

--

You

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

Lifting your weary head from the now tear-stained pillows, you turn to look at the door through the darkness of the room.

It comes again. More urgent this time. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

You groan. You really didn't want to deal with any of this right now, but you pulled yourself up anyways, knowing they'd never leave.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

"Fuck, I'm COMING! Hold on!"

You flip on the lights and glance in the mirror, wincing at the makeup stains running down your face, but not bothering to clean it.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

"Oh my fucking god, just be patient will yo-"

You cut yourself off as you swing open the door and find Adam standing before you.

"Holy shit, you're alive." Is all he can manage to stutter out.

You glare at him.

"What the FUCK do you want?"

"Look, just hear me out-" You cut him off with a satisfying punch directly in his jaw. His mask cracks.

"Um, OW, fucking bitch!" He cradles his jaw. "Will you just fucking listen for a second?"

"This is all YOUR fault!" You shout, feeling your eyes get hot with tears. "I don't want to be here!"

He blinks. "Why wouldn't you want to be in Heaven?"

"Because, asshole, my entire life was down there! Maybe it was Hell, but my friends and I were building something good. And all you ever do is try to tear it down!" You swing at him again.

This time, he anticipates your punch, catching your wrist and pulling you toward him. "Yeah, and with good reason. What do you think would happen to Heaven if you and all your little sinners tried uprising? It would be chaos! It-"

You attempt, and fail, to wrench your wrist away from him. "Let me go!" His grip tightens.

"Can you LISTEN for a minute?" You quiet down, breathing heavily. "What?"

"You.. I.." He stutters, seemingly unsure of how to say what he wanted.

Is he.. blushing?

"What do you want, Adam?"

"You need to know the truth. About us."

"Us."

His grip on your wrist softens slightly. "We knew each other, a long time ago."

You blink. "Yeah right, Adam, I think I'd remember that."

He looks away. "Except you wouldn't, because.. your memory was wiped."

You try to take a step back, but he doesn't let go. "What are you talking about?"

"We used to.." He stops. "He just used to know each other, alright?"

We.. knew each other?

How?

--

Don't forget, I'm always accpeting requests

Chapters I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII

[zhongrin]

| ◆ ch. vago mundo ⑊ zhongli

--⟢ i. tales passed down for generations |   the people of liyue know of many tales…

𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

◇ tags ◇ (all tags from the series masterlist), sagau, pure fluff, dragon!li

◇ a/n ◇ yk what i told myself i won't post this until after i wrote the liyue chapter but ✨i✨don't✨care✨anymore✨ hsdlkfjskldjf i have no idea when i'll update universe abound and this has been sitting on my drafts for FAR too long... besides, it can be read as a standalone anyway. now. once again i am here to tell you that dragon!zhongli is love, dragon!zhongli is life. thank you for attending my ted talk-

you stare.

dark brown scales, decorated with shining gold lines seem to pulse under the sunlight filtering through the curtains.

you stare harder.

the long appendage twitches before it shifts to hide behind the man standing right in front of you.

"your grace," morax coughs awkwardly into his fist and upon being greeted with your silence, decides to go back to fiddle with the coat he was halfway putting on before you barged in, "i believe it is still… thirty minutes before our scheduled stroll. is something the matter?"

instead of answering, you blurt out in an amazed voice, like a young child that just spotted their favorite candy, "you have a tail!"

"i… yes, well, considering that i am a dragon, and they do have tails-"

"it's so pretty! why don't you have it out more often?"

the genuine enthusiasm in your voice makes him smile.

"it's- ah, it could be an inconvenience sometimes."

you blink, not understanding the meaning of his words. he gives you a bashful look and proceeds to focus on his garments instead. knowing that he's not going to elaborate anymore, you choose to study the scaly appendage - unlike morax's still body, it's twitching and swaying around where it rests on the floor, almost as if…

….. hmm?

"zhongli."

"yes?"

"i love you."

the sudden confession makes him go still, and you observe his reactions in interest.

"i love you too, dearest."

aside from the short pause and the elegant smile on his lips, the man looks as dignified and unaffected as ever. however, your impossibly wide grin strains your cheeks as you eye the rhythmic thumping of his tail against the floor.

"rex lapis," you gasp, "… are you wagging your tail???"

"ahem. c-certainly not, i don't-"

"oh. my. god. that is the cutest thing ever!"

"............ beloved….."

"no no no no no if you hide your tail then i'm revoking our daily walks and regular kisses!"

zhongli's tail perks up and begins to sway anxiously, and you feel like crying from how adorable this whole thing is.

"now, let us not take such drastic measures, darling. i believe this matter can be discussed, perhaps over some tea-"

"please please please let me pet your tail!"

your lover's cheeks flush pink, and you feel like the happiest deity in teyvat.

people of liyue have heard of many tales. stories about adeptus protecting liyue behind the city itself, of fearsome plains drenched in monster dust as they were struck down by their god, of the stone gate collapsing and effectively cutting off supply routes from the city of freedom - not that it has been used for quite some time now….

people of liyue have seen many things. terrifying disasters almost sinking their whole city into oblivion, their beloved archon appearing once more and taking charge against vicious monsters overrunning teyvat's landscapes, their own creator coming into liyue after continuous years of prayers and offerings…

but never in their life they would have thought the day would come when they see the god of contracts himself - known for hurling stone pillars that now stand as guyun stone forest, vanquishing countless gods in the archon wars, and sealing many divine beasts who have run rampant across the land - stroll about the city arm-in-arm with the divine creator, his draconic tail proudly in full display and gently swaying side to side as the two converses softly, eyes staring deeply into each other's akin to lovers who hadn't seen each other in eons.

they see it, and they think: yes, this tale too, shall be passed down to the younger generations.

© zhongrin | 2023 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @diebischesther | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ladylofspades | @sup-zfam | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @nachotrash | @algrimmammon | @sassy-cat-in-town | @syrenkitsune | @smokipoki | @pvbbyb0y | @shipperxchaos

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

i cherish you, halcyon days (gojou satoru x reader)

“you’re gonna die, kid. in the worst way possible. but because i like you so much, i’ll let you ask three questions about it.” you’re 15 years old when you’re told you’re going to die. you’re 17 when you realize who your killer will be. and you’re a day away from turning 19 when you make peace with the fact you wouldn’t want it any other way.

tags: gn!reader, annoyance to friends to lovers, you and gojou share a birthday month and you're not amused, it's canon that jujutsu school curriculum last 4 years so don't say nothin' when i mention 4th year students, now a multi-chaptered fic read here

[2005. Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College ー 1st year]

Do you like Gojou Satoru?

If someone were to ask you that, you would have to answer ‘no’. You’d answer ‘no’ even if no one asked. Gojou Satoru is impossible for you to like from his stupid sunglasses to his shit-eating grins. Even worse is his arrogance. It’s only an additional sprinkle of salt in the wound when you found out later in the year that he was rich, part of some big name clan in the world of jujutsu you yourself were only scouted into.

I don’t like him at all.

You’re the odd man out in your class, though. Despite your less than stellar review of the boy, your classmates, Suguru and Shoko, got along just fine with him.

To spite you even further, it seemed the universe enjoyed pinning the two of you together as well.

It wasn’t enough for the universe to have you both in the same school, year and class. No, you even shared a birthday month.

Gojou’s December 7th to your December 9th.

The week of your shared births, Gojou was especially intolerable. “You’re the baby of the class,” he’d taunt gleefully like he wasn’t only two days older than you. 

To cut on time and effort, your teacher and classmates decided that from 1st year on, December 8th would be the day both of your birthdays were celebrated. And thus, December 8th was 'Satoru and [First] Day'. Your cake was his cake and present unwrapping was a joint activity.

By the gods, I wanna punch him so much.

At the very least, you can rest easy in knowing the fact that the feelings of dislike are mutual.

Gojou Satoru is strong, it’s an irrefutable fact no matter how much you’d like to deny it. He’s strong and in turn, the strong are the only ones Gojou respects. You apparently don’t make the cut.

And that’s fine. Strength came in all sorts of ways. You disliked Gojou Satoru but you could live with the fact that, at the very least, you were going to be stuck together for four years. Because even if he was strong, life sometimes paid you back with small moments of grace where someone put the golden boy of the Gojou Clan in his place.

You thought it was one of those days when you met Takamatsu Akira. It was a week before your birthday when he told you were going to die.

You raise an eyebrow at the unfamiliar name, “who?�� It’s lunch at Jujutsu Tech and you’re eating with your classmates when Shoko name dropped a person you never heard of. “Never heard of ‘em.”

“He’s a sorcerer that can see glimpses of a person’s future when he looks at them,” Suguru answers in her stead over a sip of his oi ocha. “He’s apparently at the school today for some sort of meeting.

"Hands off the goods," your eyes widen in amazement as you quickly smack away Gojou’s hand from your lunch. “Really? And it’s all accurate too?”

“He’s a major asshole, though,” the white-haired boy hisses with a pout. You roll your eyes. I’m not sure how reliable your words are if you of all people are calling someone an asshole. Your incredulousness must show on your face because Gojou’s next words are, “seriously! He only tells people he thinks have interesting futures anything about it.”

“And?”

“Satoru’s just mad because apparently his future isn’t interesting,” Suguru smirks, smugly welcoming his best friend’s unamused side eye. “He told me about mine though.”

You bite back a snort when your curiosity to know Suguru's fortune wins. “What did he say about it?”

Suguru touched his chin thoughtfully, recalling back the day he met the seer. “He said that one day I’ll be stuck at a crossroads between two paths and make a life changing decision,” he pauses dramatically and you lean forward in anticipation. “That’s all he told me though.”

Damn it.

The brown-eyed boy chuckles but he shoots you a look of amused sympathy, “he never really tells you too much about it apparently. I was disappointed too.”

“Did he ever tell you anything about your future, Shoko?” You ask your class’ resident slacker.

Shoko shook her head, bob gently moving with her. “I’m one of the boring ones too,” she says with a lazy wave of her hand. “Like Gojou.”

“Don’t worry, my friends,” Suguru places a hand over his chest and bows with far too much grace and humility. “I alone will shoulder the burden of having an interesting future. Unlike Satoru.”

You choke, unable to stop yourself from chortling this time. Whatever Gojou sputters in his self-defense, you don’t hear it over the sound of your own laughter. “Maybe he’ll tell me about my future too,” you sigh when your giggles subside. You sincerely doubt it, but it’s fun to think about the possibilities. I want an interesting life plot twist, like the reveal I’m actually a long-lost member of some royal family he just won’t tell me which one.

“He’ll probably stop by because you’re here,” Shoko rests her chin on her palm. You were the newest in your class, starting a month later than the rest. “He likes seeing if new students will have interesting futures ahead of them.”

“Don’t get too excited, [First],” Gojou quickly rains on your parade with a lot of arrogance for someone whose future is apparently so boring a seer won’t even talk to him about it. “I’m the most interesting person in this place and he won’t even talk to me. So who knows what sort of reaction you’ll get.”

“Oh quit being bitter that your future is gonna be boring, asshole,” before any other quips and gripes can be exchanged, the class door slides open abruptly. You look over with a start, wondering if it’s your teacher when you see it isn’t. The man is a bit younger than Yaga but his hair is already graying and his eyes are a deep green reminiscent of pine trees. You have a feeling you already know who it is and grin. “You wouldn’t happen to be Takamatsu Akira, would you? Gojou here was telling me about his boring future soー” you stop yourself with a shudder when you blinked and realized that man was in front of your face and much too close for comfort.

“Now that is something,” the man blinks owlishly, eyes almost glowing in his amazement.

Your discomfort flies away faster than a seagull with someone else’s lunch, “really?”

The man leans back with a grin and a snap of his fingers, “really, really.”

With that you look at Gojou and stick out your tongue and he sticks his tongue in return. 

[First] 1, Gojou 0. 

Suguru chuckles and Shoko grins and all the while, Gojou Satoru flicks your forehead too quickly for you to react. “Look, hater, it isn’t my fault that your future’s boring, quit trying to rain on my parade,” you snicker, batting your eyelashes. “Mr. Takamatsu, I’d really appreciate it if you could tell me about my future if you don’t mind. Before the naysayers get more butthurt than they already are.”

“You’re gonna die, kid.” 

With four words, your blood freezes and you find yourself blinking once, twice slowly. It’s the matching looks of shock and surprise on your classmates' faces that tells you you heard Takamatsu correctly. Stiffly, you look back at the seer hoping for that revelation to be nothing but a joke, but instead you find yourself looking at a maniacal grin. That grin feels more like a knife in your gut. “In the worst way possible.”

The knife sinks deeper into your flesh, twisting.

“Hey,” out of the four of you, Gojou is the one who finds his voice first.

Takamatsu ignores the boy with snow white hair as if he’s nothing but a minor breeze, “But,” he beams like he’s only told you that he found a discount at the convenience store. “Because I like you so much, I’ll let you ask three questions about it.”

“O-okay,” you stammer almost instinctively. Like a zombie, you find yourself stumbling onto your feet and Takamatsu nods at the door. These answers will be for you and you alone. You aren’t sure what expression you wear on your face as you exit, nor the expressions of your peers. You can't bring yourself to look at them as you follow the future-seeing sorcerer into the halls of your school.

I’m going to die.

I’m going to die.

In the worst way possible.

It’s only once you’re relatively alone that the seer halts his walking in the middle of the hall to look at you. “Feel free to ask your questions,” he tells you. “Your classmates shouldn’t be able to hear, even if they keep looking out the door. So ask away,” he reassures you, waving his hand nonchalantly.

You glance to your left and sure enough there are three heads leaning out of the door, staring straight at you both. You can’t bring yourself to smile reassuringly before you return your gaze to the sorcerer in front of you.

Three questions.

Your first question can only be so obvious. “Howー how do I die?”

Takamatsu’s amusement is sapped from his face at that question. “Really?” He yawns with a shake of his head. “That’s what you’re going to ask? That’s quite boring.”

Boring? Boring?! It’s my life! “Yeah but-”

“You know what, fine,” Takamatsu sighs, crossing his arms. He recalls his vision in his mind for a moment before he opens his lips. “You’re going to be killed by someone precious to you. Ask me something more… riveting this time.”

You blink slowly.

You’re going to be killed by someone you care about.

When do I die?

Was it an accident?

On purpose?

Why would they want to kill me?

You don’t think those are questions Takamatsu will find intriguing in the slightest. In a panic, you ask the most original question that enters your brain. “Do I die… angry at them?” No. Fucking. Shit, me. “Wait, that was dumb don’t answer th-”

“Nope, it counts,” Takamatsu clicks his tongue. Maybe it’s payback for your first question being so predictable and unoriginal. “And my answer for that is no. Your heart will surprisingly bear no anger towards the person who kills you.” A revelation that shakes you to the core. “Well, one question left to go, kid. No more mess ups, I’ll take it even if it’s something as a dumb as a repeat question.”

“Okay, okay,” you exhale nervously, biting your lip. I need to think.

You know yourself.

You’re selfish at times, who isn’t? If it really came down to it though, you know you’d always put someone else’s life over your own. You can talk big, you can snort when you watch a movie and say ‘yeah sorry, they’d be stuck on their own. I’m not dying in a situation like that, I’d wanna go home’. But you know yourself enough to know that despite thinking it, your feet would inevitably turn towards the other person. Maybe you’d die in the end but you know you’d try your damnedest to get them out.

Why else would you put yourself on the line fighting curses?

But I’d like to think that in a life or death fight where it’s me or them, I’d choose me. You shake your head pushing the thought to the side. You almost forgot the most important detail. Your killer will be someone who matters to you. But I won’t be mad about it. If it was life or death, I’d choose me. I know that. Stranger on the street or a lifelong sworn enemy. And I know if I was killed by someone, I’d definitely be bitter about it. I’m not that forgiving.

Future you isn’t in agreement. Your eyes turn to the ground.

Is it a life or death fight situation or an accident? You open your mouth briefly before closing it again.

They’re precious to me.

They’re someone I care about.

But I won’t be angry.

I mustn’t have been trying that hard then, you wet your lips as a light bulb flickers deeply in the recesses of your mind. You couldn’t have been. How else could your future self’s lack of anger be justified? One day, there will be someone you care for so greatly that even in a life or death battle, you’d still choose them.

You raise your head to look into dark green eyes dancing with amusement, a grin accompanying them. The grin morphs from clear to distorted at the welling of tears in your eyes. I wasn’t trying. “I must really love this person, don’t I?”

Takamatsu's grin grows even wider, eyes flashing in pleasant surprise. “Yeah,” he leans against the wall, crossing his arms. “It seems like you do.”

Tears roll down your cheeks like streams into a river yet your arms hang loosely at your side. “That’s three questions then,” you murmur, throat constricting. You inhale slowly, hold your breath and release before wiping your eyes. “Thank you for answering my questions, Mr. Takamatsu. Lunch is gonna be over soon, so I’m gonna go finish eating now.”

You bow before turning on your heel back to your class, your classmates are still there. You don’t really care to receive their pity or empathy.

“I’m gonna die, it’s gonna suck and that’s all he really told me,” you say before anyone can ask. You bite into your egg harshly.

.

It’s hours after classes have ended for the day and you’re cooking in the communal kitchen when you see Gojou again. 

“Hey,” Gojou says and his tone is so serious it startles you. You set your knife down on the cutting board before looking at him. His face doesn’t seem right to you and it dawns on you a second later it’s because he’s frowning and it’s not the usual childish frown you’re used to seeing. “Don’t take what that guy said seriously. Like I said, he’s an asshole. He was probably saying all of that to freak you out.” There’s a pause and Gojou scratches the back of his head, looking uncomfortable in his skin. “So don’t, like, cry about it. Takamatsu’s a prick.”

“Are you,” you squint, looking Gojou over suspiciously. “Trying to make me feel better or something in your own weird Gojou way?”

“Someone has to make sure the class baby isn’t drowning in their sorrows,” Gojou returns to his usual brand of cocky, with a grin. His sunglasses slide down, revealing playful eyes.

“I don’t want the comfort then,” you roll your eyes and return to chopping your vegetables. “Besides, I don’t need it anyways, I’m strong”

“Eeeeh.”

Asshole.

“There’s different kinds of strong, you jackass,” you argue for argument’s sake. You vaguely notice that in spite of your annoyance, your shoulders aren’t stiff and your jaw is loose. Apparently Gojou is good for something, after all. “Strong looks different for different people. A kid is strong when they act tough after tripping. A grown man crying and being open with his emotions is strong,” you recount some of the ways you’ve seen people be strong in your life. You’ve witnessed strength in various ways in your 15 years of living. “... Even just living despite how hard it can be is strong.”

Save for the sound of you cutting green celery and the light simmer of the pan, silence falls over the two of you.

“What did you guys talk about when he said you could ask him questions?”

“... nothing important.”

[2006. Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College ー 2nd year]

You’re 16 and you’re still alive and kicking.

You’re an upperclassman now, not that it means anything when there are still two whole grades of jujutsu schooling ahead of you. Still, you welcome the newfound responsibilities and admiration you receive in going up a level. At least, one of your underclassmen seems to admire you. Haibara Yuu does, though you’re pretty sure he adores Suguru even more. Nanami Kento is nice though, albeit a bit reserved.

The three of them are like you, individuals scouted into the world of curses and sorcerers rather than born into it. It’s nice to know you’re not alone in that sense.

Even if they weren’t, however, you’re sure that Gojou’s presence would find a way to override any sort of 'being alone'. You can’t be alone when he’s around even if you want to.

Gojou is just as annoying as he was when you were first years, but he’s surprisingly more tolerable.

He still bothers you whenever he has the chance and he still refers to you as the ‘class baby’. You’d also be lying to yourself if you said his hubris has gone down since you first met. He’s just as smug as he’s always been but it’s a bit easier seeing the charm in it in your second year compared to your first.

So maybe ー in the absolute loosest sense of the word ー the two of you have become friends. Something like it at least.

This is why you don’t mind it when the boy plops his ass on your desk when you’re trying to read the recent volume of Fruits Basket to tell you about his newest feats he accomplished on his most recent mission. Nor do you mind it much when he follows you to the dorms to continue telling you what feels like an exaggerated tale, but you know Gojou’s abilities enough to know that 99% percent of it is true.

“So yeah,” he finishes with an air of satisfaction, nose pointing towards the sky with pride. “You could say that Suguru really didn’t even need to come, I pretty much crushed it by myself.”

You’re pretty sure if Suguru was here, Gojou would be in a headlock. “Better not let your bestie catch you saying that,” you warn playfully.

“Come on, [First],” Gojou beams broadly with no care in the world. “Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to praise me?”

You shake your head in bemusement, smiling lightly. “I can admit it, I’m impressed,” your words are genuine. With all the blessings he has in the world, being strong is the standard for your classmate. He’s a natural talent to boot. Yet for all his nonchalance, you can give credit where credit is due. The guy works hard to perfect his techniques and he’s a perpetual motion machine when it comes to improvement. “Good job, Gojou, you’ve worked really hard. I’m happy you’re seeing the payoff.”

It takes you a second to realize that you’re walking by yourself and you turn around, eyebrow quirked. “What’s up?” Gojou doesn’t respond immediately and you have no idea what his eyes look like beneath the sunglasses. “Hey are you alright?”

The boy comes to at your prodding, sauntering after you lazily, “nothing, nothing,” Gojou replies smoothly with a grin. “I am pretty great, huh?”

“Don’t ruin the moment, Gojou,” you give him a light shove that barely moves him an inch. Geez he’s a giant, you won’t be surprised if in the future he’s taller than even Yaga.

“Since I’m working so hard, do you think you could make me a congratulatory lunch tomorrow?” You’re pretty sure he isn’t serious. Or at the very least you’re sure Gojou expects your answer to be negative. You never cook for him, the closest he ever gets is pilfering samples of it before you chase him out of the kitchen. “Just ki-”

“Sure, what do you want?”

With near comedic timing, Gojou’s shades slide down the bridge of his nose and his eyes are wide in astonishment. “Seriously?”

Your grin widens, “I can change my mind if you-”

“No, no, no! No take backs allowed, [First]!” Gojou covers your mouth with a large palm. “I’m putting in my special requests!”

You move his hand from your mouth with a sage nod, “then please make your requests, young pupil, I’ll prepare you a feast of feasts!” Gojou opens his mouth promptly, giddy. “Within reason.”

You snicker when he whines about the unfairness of your new stipulations.

It takes a week before lunch becomes dinner too.

Gojou’s nice sometimes, you can admit.

And maybe you can also admit that you are ー in more than the loosest sense of the word ー actually friends. A friend whose status as a special grade sorcerer is something  you can be proud of rather than annoyed by. He’s reckless and sometimes that recklessness gets him in trouble, but still you enjoy his company when you have it. Even if sometimes he gets you in trouble because of his shenanigans. Or even when he is annoying Utahime whom he is presently taunting in favor of saying her partner for this mission is stronger than she is.

“Mei Mei,” you wave your fingers daintily at the strong partner in question. “Finally gonna let me take you out some time?” You’re mostly joking. 5% at least. Beautiful as she is, Mei Mei isn’t really your type.

The blue-haired sorcerer laughs lightly, crossing her arms, “I’ll have to warn you that my dinners aren’t cheap.”

“Worry not, I’m an amazing cook,” you’re barely able to wink in the money-loving sorcerer’s direction when Gojou’s lanky arm is thrown over your shoulder and he saunters over to a distressed Utahime. “What the heck!”

“Check out how the path Utahime walked on is falling apart,” Gojou snickers.

“Oh shut up,” Suguru looks far too pleased to actually mean his words though.

For Utahime’s sake, you fight back the urge to giggle at their tomfoolery. You like Utahime, you bonded in your first year over finding Gojou Satoru’s presence an annoyance. You’ve sadly, however, become a bit of a traitor to your Hating Gojou Alliance, much to her dismay when you confessed months prior that you and Gojou had become chill.

“By the way,” Mei Mei brings the conversation back to a reasonable plane. “Where’s the veil?”

Gojou’s nice sometimes, you can admit. And maybe you can also admit that you are ー in more than the loosest sense of the word ー actually friends. A friend you can be proud of. A friend whose company you enjoy even if sometimes he gets you in trouble because of his shenanigans.

Like the fact you somehow forgot to put up the veil?! How the hell do you forget to put up the veil?! Nevermind the fact you technically forgot too, Gojou was the one who said he’d put it up. That’s why you have no problem pointing in his direction when Yaga sternly asks who was the Forget Futaba in your band.

“Is a veil that necessary in the first place,” Gojou whines in the gym later in the afternoon. “It’s not like it matters if normies see or not, right? They can’t see cursed spirits or cursed techniques anyway.”

“Pretty sure it’s for the best that normal people don’t start seeing spontaneously exploding buildings on the regular, Gojou,” you watch with an impressed whistle at how your classmate tosses a basketball effortlessly to a hoop. You’re sure if Suguru hadn’t stopped it, the ball would have been a perfect three pointer.

“Of course it’s not good for them to see,” Suguru affirms your words resolutely. “The strongest deterrent against the outbreak of cursed spirits is the mental calm of the populace.” It becomes a battle of the philosophies when Gojou steals the ball back with finesse.

“Looking out for the weak is so exhausting, honestly,” Gojou sighs and Suguru shoots back with narrowed eyes 'Survival of the Weakest'. “Assigning reasons and responsibility to strength is what those who are weak do.”

Should we…? You glance at Shoko.

Yeah, we probably should. The brunette glances back.

“Time to dip,” Shoko sprints out of the gymnasium faster than you’ve ever seen her.

“I’ve got a pretty wild date with Battle Royale right now,” you skip after her in a hurry right as Suguru summons one of his cursed spirits like it's a pokemon.

The next time you see Gojou, he knocks and enters your room when you go ‘huh?’ “Yo, I’ve got a mission.”

“Already?” You raise an eyebrow. “We just got back from the Mei Mei and Utahime thing.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “ Teach says we have to protect the star plasma vessel.”

“That information got leaked?”

“Wait, you know what the star plasma vessel is?”

“Tengen stuff is, like, the bare minimum of stuff we should have learned about in first year, Gojou.”

“... anyways, Suguru and I are heading out early tomorrow,” he says, like what you told him moments prior wasn’t anything important.

You smile with pride, “well, that’s a pretty big mission for a couple of students to have,” it really is, honestly. If anything, that’s something you think the adults should have. It’s pretty cool that two of your classmates were chosen for it. “That’s cool. You should be really proud of yourself, Gojou.”

Your words get his lips to morph into a smile a bit more authentic and veritable than his usual smug grins and confident jeers. “I am pretty cool, huh?”

You roll your eyes in good fun before looking at your book again. Your favorite character's dead but you at least wanna see who gets off this shitty island. “Y’all not still fighting about earlier are you?”

“Nah, we’re over it,” Gojou sits at a chair by your bedside desk, swirling in it. “It’s whatever in the end. Suguru can believe whatever he wants.” A silence somewhere between comfortable but hesitant falls over you briefly before Gojou asks, “you believe that stuff he was saying too?”

“Dunno, you’re probably asking the wrong person,” you turn the page with a shrug. It’s been nearly a year since you met Takamatsu Akira. Nearly a year since you were told someone you loved would kill you in the worst way possible and yet you’d have no anger in your heart about it. The future is technically always changing. It’s never stagnant. If you wanted, you could take what the seer said to heart and run with your tail between your legs. Yet here you were, laid on your stomach reading Battle Royale in your room located in Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College instead of elsewhere; living in perpetual paranoia about any relationship you have. “The weak’s the majority, they need protection. It should be the duty of the strong to protect them. But… I can also get the exhaustion. If you’re the strongest, who’s gonna protect you then?”

You close your mouth and purse your lips thoughtfully and vaguely you find it a bit amazing that Gojou hasn’t made any sort of quip yet.

“But… I guess I probably align myself more with Suguru’s line of thinking,” you decide after a heartbeat. “I’m the one who’s gonna die in the most horrible way possible, remember? But here I am, still kickin’ it here with you guys. I should probably run while I have the chance, huh?”

“I already told you not to listen to that crap,” you look away from your book, surprised at the harshness in Gojou’s tone. Your eyes look into angry azure and you glance away just as quickly. “That guy’s a prick. There’s no point in listening to him. So quit worrying your pretty little head about that. You’re supposed to be strong, right?”

Your eyes skim over your book, not sure what else to settle your eyes on. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I’m pretty strong, I guess.”

That appears to be the right answer. “Exactly, so stop giving that stuff he said the time of day.”

You chuckle, “yeah you’re right, sorry,” ‘I’m always right’ Gojou says flippantly and you find your head shaking with a warmth settling in your chest. “Grab me a souvenir or two while you’re gone, Mr. Special Grade.”

“I’m not leaving Tokyo, you know,” Gojou tosses a crumpled piece of paper at your head. 

“So?” You toss the paper back, watching as it bounced off his infinity. Cheater. “Grab me something extra nice anyways! I deserve it as payback for cooking for you all the time, you eat like a horse.”

The mission goes horribly wrong.

Shoko tells you over a phone call that the mission went horribly wrong in all the worst ways. Suguru was injured. Gojou was dead.

Parts of campus look like it was hit by a tornado when you get there, out of breath, lungs screaming but you still push through it to get Suguru’s room banging on the door. “Su-”

“Satoru’s okay,” is the first thing out of his mouth when he opens the door and your knees almost buckle in your relief. “He’s alive. He was injured but he’s alive. He’s in his room, right now.”

He’s okay.

He’s okay.

Your breath is shaky as you let your friend’s words permeate through your entire being. “That,” you lick your lips, holding yourself. “That’s good.” It’s all you can say although it doesn’t encompass even a tenth of the emotion you feel. “I’m glad you’re both alright.” The quiet is almost deafening; what do you say to ease the hurt when the mission went wrong in every way it could have? “I’m gonna start cooking in an hour or two. I’ll bring you something to eat later, any requests?”

“It’s okay,” Suguru’s smile is small but polite. “I’m not that hungry. Maybe Satoru’ll eat something.” The door closes promptly before you can ask if your friend is sure he doesn’t want anything. I’ll check on you again later, I promise.

Your nerves are frazzled when your eyes sweep over to the door that leads to Gojou’s room, hardly able to make yourself move towards it.

“He was injured but he’s alive.”

How injured is injured?

Has he gone to see Shoko?

“Gojou?” Your knock is barely audible.

You knock once more with a soft confidence.

“Satoru?” Your voice falters, just above being a whisper. “Hey, it’s me. I know you probably don’t want to talk right now but I just want you to know I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. If you wanna talk, I’m just down the hall, okay?” You pause, ears straining to hear anything on the other side of the door. You’re met with silence. “Get some rest. I’ll bring you dinner later, alright?”

With a sigh, you turn around to go to your room only for your heart to leap out of your chest when you realize someone is already in it. You jump, clutching your chest when you realize it’s Satoru, sitting on your bed with his back slumped against the wall.

He looks like hell and impossibly small wrapped in your blanket. Russet stains his white locks that are even messier than usual and his eyes have a chilling emptiness to them. He doesn’t meet your eyes, you aren’t sure if he has the will to. You don’t have the will to say anything despite the thoughts running through your head.

Wordlessly, Satoru raises the blanket in an invitation. Like he’s welcoming you through a barrier.

So wordlessly, you sit on your bed and nestle beside him. You don’t mind the scent of sweat, blood and dirt. Nor do you mind when the tall and lanky teen slumps against your side, resting his head atop yours. You simply find his hand and brush your fingers together, feeling the roughness of his callouses, before twining your fingers with his.

You clutch each other’s hands almost painfully.

[2007. Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College ー 3rd year]

It’s you, isn’t it?

You realize that one day Satoru is going to kill you on a rainy night in December in your room laying on your bed. The two of you had taken to sharing a space on nights you felt lonely since you were 16 and the star plasma vessel mission went wrong in every way possible. Last week, you both turned 18.

Another year has past and you're still alive and kicking.

You’re facing each other, your head resting on your hand with your elbow angled to keep your head up.

“You won’t leave too, right?” Satoru asks softly, fingers messing with a stray string on your shirt.

Suguru’s gone. So is Haibara.

Both are gone in different ways.

Death is what took Haibara, leaving Nanami Jujutsu Tech’s sole second year.

Suguru was swallowed in madness and disillusionment, defecting to accomplish a new goal of creating a world with only jujutsu sorcerers.

It stings, but you know Satoru is hurt the most.

“It’s unfortunate to tell you but you’re pretty much stuck with me, Satoru,” you give him a weak nudge with your free hand.

“Even though Takamatsu said you’re going to die?”

“We’re all gonna die someday,” you tell him easily. It’s you. You aren’t sure how you’re able to smile like you aren’t having the worst realization in the world but you smile. “Besides, you’re the one who said not to worry about that, right? Because I’m strong.”

“Yeah,” Satoru whispers. “You’re strong.”

“And you’re the strongest sorcerer in the world,” you remind him unnecessarily. It is an inherent fact of the world. Gojou Satoru, born only two days before you came into this world, shook the entire world when he was born.

“And because you’re the strongest, that’s why I have to stay with you,” you run your fingers through his hair gently. When is he going to do it? When is everything going to go wrong? You want to remember every feature he has before you one day have no choice but to leave them behind. “Who’s going to protect you otherwise?”

Satoru smiles for the first time that night, looking up at you almost dreamily from where he lays. “You’re gonna protect me?”

“Yeah,” you vow sincerely.

[2008. Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College ー 4th year]

“Happy birthday to us, happy birthday to us,” Satoru sings crudely while you roll your eyes. It’s technically neither of your birthdays. It’s the 8th, the one day mid-point between your birthdays. The Official ‘Satoru-[First]’ Birthday Bash Celebration. Contrast to your first year as a student at Jujutsu Tech, you find yourself in a more pleasant mood about it. “Happy birthday to the both of us, happy birthday to us!”

“Isn’t it a bit too early to sing,” you shake your head with a chuckle. 

“Early shmurly,” Satoru shrugs off your nonchalant concern like water off a duck’s back. You can’t bring yourself to scold him. “They throw us a surprise party every year. It’s not even a surprise if we know it’s coming. They always make us wait all day in class or tell us to leave campus though.”

“It’s part of the atmosphere, Satoru. Tradition!” You grin, giving his leg a light flick as he plops his ass right on top of your desk. “We gotta wait and act completely oblivious to everything until someone tells us to head to the dorms.”

It’s nice to see him smiling. It’s his second birthday without his best friend. A fact that will always resonate through your reality like ripples through the water.

“You’ll like my gift the best by the way,” you tell him with a self-assured confidence. 

“Funny, I was about to say that to you,” Satoru winks, leg swinging lazily. He’s not wearing his sunglasses for onceー they’re off to the side resting on the teacher’s podium. “Of course, my gifts are always the best.”

A comfortable silence fills the room and you close your eyes.

Tomorrow you turn 19 and you’re still alive and kicking.

Moments like this make it hard to believe that one day you won’t be. Sometimes you wonder what would happen if you told Satoru the truth of everything Takamatsu told you that day. You consider telling him this very moment, eyes resting on his face. He's smiling gently to himself, thinking about something unknown to you.

He’s so beautiful it makes you want to cry.

“Hey,” you can barely hear yourself.

“Hmm?” Satoru looks at you, lips upturned in a mellow, peaceful expression.

“We should get married.”

One second passes,

two seconds.

“Yeah, we should,” Satoru nods, seemingly enchanted.

You blink dumbly, “what?”

“Let’s do it,” Satoru repeats himself purposefully. “Let’s get married.”

“... Satoru, I was 60% joking when I said that,” you don’t even know why that’s what came out of your mouth.

In spite of your attempt to brush him off, Satoru stands to his feet all the more determined. His large hands cup yours gently as he pulls you into standing with him. “And I’m being 100% serious,” he means it, you can see it in his eyes. They’re more clear than any lake you’ve seen. “Let’s get married. We can go after your birthday.”

“Satoru, we’re high schoolers,” you try reasoning.

“We’re old enough to get married in this country.”

Despite that fact, you shake your head again, “we’re not getting married in high school.”

“Then we can tie the knot after we graduate,” Satoru decides like that’s the only issue at present.

“Fresh out of high school?”

“Fresh out of high school,” he affirms. “We can have a big wedding just like in the movies. Whatever you want. We’ve already got the headstart on the kids with that Zenin kid and his sister.”

You find yourself laughing unexpectedly at the absurdity, at the certainty. “Satoru.”

“[First].”

“Your clan is not gonna be happy with you marrying some jujutsu nobody,” you tell him.

“Like I care what a bunch of old farts think.”

“I’m pretty sure your parents aren’t gonna like me.”

“I’ll love you enough to make up for it,” Satoru rests his forehead on yours. That motion alone damn near breaks your heart. “I wanna marry you, [First].”

“Yeah,” you sniff. This boy who is quickly becoming a man in front of your very eyes is beautiful enough to make you cry. “Let’s get married.”

For a smile so small, it beams like a thousand suns, “Right after we graduate?”

“Right after we graduate.”

“Even if you think my parents aren’t gonna like you?”

“Screw ‘em. I’ll love you more than enough to make up for it.”

One day Gojou Satoru is going to kill you.

You don’t know what will lead you down the path of finding yourself on the opposing side of the boy you’ve grown to love. You don’t know whether it will be a death that’s accidental or as intentional as Suguru’s defection from your organization.

So many unknowns, yet the fact remains the sameー one day you’re going to die and it’s going to be Satoru that sends you to the other side. You let him kiss you despite that fact.

It’s you.

You know it in your heart.

Because if someone were to ask you if Gojou Satoru was precious enough to you that you wouldn’t bear any anger towards him for killing you, you knew what your answer would be in a heartbeat.

Yes, you kiss him tenderly, holding his face in your hands while your heart cupped the precious memories you shared. Memories you would never allow yourself to forget. The halcyon days of past, present and future. He is.

[20xx. kuzuivencdcsusahduvtaydr ー ???? oayn]

It’s snowing in Tokyo, a lot of it.

That’s not common for the area of Japan you live in.

Maybe Tokyo will see one or two days of light snowfall, but it’s almost never enough to cloak the city like this. That’s why it’s a perfect day for a snowball fight and it is perfect, save for the fact that Satoru is definitely cheating.

His tosses may be light but the jerk still has on his infinity, your snow dissipating in powdery puffs whenever it hits the barrier keeping him perpetually safe.

You can’t stop yourself from giggling though, even as he pelts you with an unfair barrage of snow.

The laugh is barreling from your form even more when Satoru rushes you out of nowhere, the largest snowball you’ve ever seen in his hands laughing like he’s five. Your fall is softened by the snow underneath you, barely even much of a drop, and Satoru’s on top of you with his legs on either side of your torso.

He’s merciful enough not to slam dunk his snowball of fury into your face though.

“Okay, okay, you win!” You laugh good naturedly. “Please, Gojou Satoru, I yield!” Despite your words, your hand is working quickly on the side to form a snowball. He’s touching you, you can feel the warmth of his legs on either side of you. His infinity’s down then. You open your eyes mischievously, bracing yourself for a toss when you feel something warm fall onto your face.

One drop,

two drops.

Your breath falters.

“Why are you crying, Satoru?” 

It occurs to you then in all your years of knowing him, you’ve never seen Satoru cry. Yet there he is, right atop you, holding the world’s largest snowball in his trembling arms. All the while, tears are running down his face, flowing from those beautiful eyes of his. Those eyes filled with a greater sadness than you’ve ever seen as he looks at you.

The snowball you were clutching drops from your hand immediately in your concern, “hey what’s wrong?”

Satoru doesn’t answer you. Instead, the strongest sorcerer in the world drapes himself over you with body-wracking sobs. The snowball he was holding has disappeared to who knows where, his hands now clutching the front of your jacket tightly. Satoru’s only response is his body-wracking sobs, his knuckles painfully white. He sobs, sobs and sobs like you’ve never seen before.

Slowly, you bring your arms up to hug him and nuzzle the top of his hair that matches the snow around you. “It’s okay,” you whisper to the boy crying in your arms. You smile softly and you close your eyes once more. “It’s okay,” you tell him again. “I'll protect you.”

i was inspired by chainsaw man with the idea of a future devil sorcerer and a reader who shares the same fate as aki

*bonus note: also in japan, the legal age marrying age for women is 16 and men is 18, i heard from a prof they're working on changing that but at least during the setting the time of the fic that is still the same so hence why you'd both be of marrying age despite still being students

*final note: i am a huge final fantasy nerd and the final chapter is written in al bhed, a language from final fantasy x. feel free to use this translator

[thesamoanqueen]

Blackwater XX

Warnings/AN: I should apologize for the drama but its my trademark at this point, I'll just say that there's a flashback and a couple of references to previous chapters. As soon as possible I'll create a masterlist dedicated to the series, because I have contents that I want to add since we are at the end. Lemme know if someone wants a tag there too~

Trouble ahead.

He showed up unexpectedly, grumbling about the mud that had gotten on his expensive shoes, the usual penguin-like gait and Jimmy rolled his eyes, waiting for him to finally reach them because they couldn't have continued at all if he was around. And it had nothing to do with a tactical move to hide plan from the enemy, it was simply impossible to ignore or avoid Paul Heyman and if once Jimmy would have laughed, now Paul was just annoying and the expression on Jey's face proved it.

- "Nice place, in your style" – he commented, without greeting or trying to pretend too much – "reminds me the days I used to come visit your dad, both of you were three, four maybe" – and Jimmy folded his arms.

Sure, their style wasn't their cousin's luxury stuff, the one Paul had accustomed him to. At that moment he was probably having breakfast in a restaurant downtown or a sauna to cool down his muscles, but he too had cut his teeth at the garage near Oak Wood Hills. Jimmy still remembered the afternoons spent there after school to see the red Jeep Cherokee that Roman had become obsessed with, he bought the damn car as soon as Uncle Sika came back from one of his trips and now instead he drove around in black businessman's SUVs and looking after the community with checks he couldn't spend on himself.

- "Did you get lost Og? Want me to call your daddy so he can pick you up?" – he asked and Paul must have had colic judging by his reaction.

- "No. Im here to talk."

- "Wow really?! Mind-blowing!"

The colic became a reproachful look at his sarcasm, but still Jimmy was not impressed and when Jey decided to come closer to support him, Paul wisely quit, once again showing off the best acting skills to save his ass.

- "Even though I remember what was said at the meeting, Im here with good intentions. Of course, it hurt me if I have to tell the truth, I don't understand where the aversion against me comes from... but despite this I couldn't refuse in my heart to help" – he began and Jimmy blinked confused.

- "Have you had a heart transplant?" – he urged, matching his attitude.

Paul didn't take that joke well either, but he had nothing to complain about, everyone knew how things were. The wiseman didn't help anyone if he didn't have something back, goodness was not among his qualities and it was impossible he had found some of it within himself now that he was personally involved. His feelings worked on command, according to occasion and business.

- "He thinks I'm dumb ass" – Jey said out of nowhere, staring at him.

He had crossed the edge since the boys' were dragged into the family mess and now his goal was just putting an end to it all. For him that war was an unbearable burden, Jimmy knew how he was, he knew Jey just wanted to start over, have some peace and he didn't like Paul's fake visit because it also added provocation to his worries. He would probably have put up with Roman, but not Paul, Paul wasn't family to him and those turns of phrase were making him nervous.

He heard the wiseman noises, trying to stay in control even though Jey's gaze didn’t help his attempts.

- "What? No, of course not, I’d never think bad about you! The Tribal Chief had chosen you as his right-hand man, a fool would not have had such an honor or right to speak in family business."

He thinks we're both dumb.

That stunt pushed Jimmy to clench his fists in annoyance, but didn't have time to silence Paul because his brother really didn't seem in the mood that day and had come forward again.

- "I had no right. He take all the decisions, with you, from day one."

He hadn't been around when that deal or alliance or whatever it was between him and Roman had come about, he'd been forced away from home for months, but Jey was there and kept him updated on everything. They had kept him on the sidelines of the family business from the beginning and the right-hand man title with their tricks had become a joke they made real when it suited them. Jey had taken it seriously despite everything, he had committed to the vision and tried, but it only make him run everywhere and get beaten. When Jimmy came back everything was already done and things had even gotten worse after.

- "Jey…" - he heard Paul negotiating trying to slow things down, realizing maybe that his sweet words were no longer having the planned effect - "when you're at the top you often find yourself in unpleasant situations, it's not for everyone, you're starting to understand it too how it is bearing the weight of that position. At the meeting you made some choices... let's say questionable ones... listening an advice would have been right for you if I may, to judge pros and cons. I'm here to offer you a second chance, I care about you even if you don’t care about the wiseman."

Jimmy hadn't expected his brother to discuss those terms in front of the elders, it had been strange and even he had been amazed, because Jey hadn't talked to him first about anything. But whatever plan he had if he had one, leaving a door open for Solo and even Y/N, Jey didn't need any second chances, especially not thanks to Paul. Jimmy was there to cover his back and it would always be like this, he didn't need counselors and dogs licking his feet to sleep better at night.

I can handle him.

His offer echoed through the link, but Jey didn't answer.

- "I know you're angry now and maybe it won't seem that way, but all this will help you, trust me it can be good for you, it's part of your journey to take the place of the Tribal Chief one day" – he persisted and Jimmy decided to step forward, ready to send him back to where he came from with good ass kick.

- "Imma take his place next week" – Jey stopped him, voice far too calm.

The day. It was just a week away. At the dawn after the harvest moon things would no longer be the same. Jimmy had been hoping for a change for years now, in the last few months he had chased it like a breath of air, now that was so close it was an almost surreal feeling, but Jey already seemed in control and ready.

- "It could happen... of course..." - Paul hesitated, avoiding answering to Jey push - "its essential, however, that the family is preserved and all of this, lemme tell you, is a dangerous gamble now. The elders have agreed to restore order, but we're all worried about what will happen next, them, me, your parents, even Y/N... poor girl, she can't rest knowing what’s going on and what could come" - he tried, pulling out an apologetic face that he could have avoid considering what relationship he had with Y/N.

- "None of them should be. The only one who needs to worry is you, because when I'm done, you'd better be far away. Bring back your advice, speeches and ass to my cousin, Og, don’t make say it twice" – Jey quickly silenced him though, stopping his tantrum by placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jimmy watched him stiffen as if someone had growled at him, face pale and shaken, his gaze going from Jey's fingers to eyes, which had been fixed on him from the moment he showed up. The realization of failure hit him right in front of them, a mixture of affront, anxiety and worry that Jimmy watched Paul shake off in the same way as Jey's hand, scrambling a few steps back to make room between them. He nodded to who knows who, body shaking as he sorted out his expensive clothes and pride.

The harvest moon was near, so their mother said. That year it was time to reap what they had sown.

***

Devil's Point, that's what the sign they passed on the way said and it really must have been one of devil’s tricks, because Y/N felt her stomach flipped. Or maybe wasn't the devil, maybe it was just another perfect date, pleasant anxiety, wine and fresh air caressing her warm face, sun slowly sinking beyond the strip of sand and trees, setting the sky on fire. Maybe the devil was Roman, with his gentleman manner, so confident, constantly eyeing her, always attentive, his low velvet voice. The bond had always been there, in her veins, in her bones. An invisible impulse born with them, as their lives went on and years passed, omnipresent, indissoluble, inevitable despite miles and obstacles. And more Y/N lingered in that trap easier it seemed to fall, normal deserving the life she hadn't had, a security she didn't know and now all around her, emanating from Roman.

Where has he been all this time? We were alone…

- "Have you ever looked for me?" – she asked out of nowhere, putting the dessert away.

A chocolate cake, because it was her favorite and he worked hard to please her, learning quickly and put into practice even the most insignificant details.

Roman looked surprised at the change of subject, putting down his glass.

- "Have you ever looked for me before that evening, when you found me at the camping?" – she asked again, feeling anxiety suddenly hit even though it had been her idea to investigate, happiness quickly dissolve into doubts.

Y/N didn't even know why she asked. It was an uncomfortable question, the search for a mate was a now past custom, too low probabilities and a world where alternatives had now become norm. It was stupid to expect something and unnecessarily provocative, what's more in their case, after all the first few months problems, it sounded a bit like an accusation or an attempt to ruin plans. Roman however didn't lose his composure and she saw him take a deep breath, brow furrowed as he remembered.

- "Years ago. When I finished college, did it for a while, then stopped."

- "Why?"

He looked at her in silence, but he didn't seem angry or bothered.

She needed to hear it, to know.

- "… had become frustrating. I needed to focus on what I could accomplish."

So real. So true.

Few could say they were lucky enough to find their other half. Rare cases, exceptions. Was it sad to meet someone, choose them and fit in? No, most people out there did it like that, she herself had witnessed it with her parents before the horror, but sometimes people couldn't even find someone, sometimes they were not chosen or stopped wanting each other and then yes, it became sad. For Y/N having someone in her life had never been an aspiration, a dream to cherish when night became too cold or silence too heavy. Getting attached was a risk, risks were dangerous and in her case, as an omega, alone and without a family or a community, it was better to avoid rather than defend. She had to be smart, loneliness had kept her alive, had kept her going, was the possibility of filling the void that scared Y/N. It scared her to get used to someone and lose everything again. She knew what Roman was talking about, a perpetual aftertaste on her lips when she moved away from a place and now she was founding out that she had never really been alone. She had always had a chance, someone waiting for her, ready to fill that void that for Y/N had become like an old illness she lived with.

Roman had been looking for her, among so many people, even if only for a while he really had and it was… so reassuring.

- "You didn't" – she heard him reflect, moving closer to put his jacket on her shoulders.

There was knowledge in his voice, a heavy bitterness, as if he didn't need to hear Y/N say it. She watched him take another sip of wine to warm himself or perhaps wash away the taste of that thought, enduring the cool evening for her.

- "I did it once… just once" – she admitted, surprising him and even herself.

She had never thought about that day before, but memory had hit her soon through her she-wolf, perhaps to console him. She didn’t like that look on his face, he was better all cocky and flirting.

- "I have been in foster care for couple of years after I lost my parents. I went from one house to another, it didn't work and I really didn't want to stay. There was a brunette white girl in one of the families, she didn't like me, talking behind my back all the time... I told her I’d find you and make her regret it" – she said, shaking her head at the thought of that childish menace.

Y/N didn't remember the reason for their fight, it could have been anything, she was an unbearable girl herself at the time, but she knew how she had felt. It was vivid in her memory. That sense of not belonging, absolute loneliness, anger, so much anger at the idea of being and being able to be just a stray in the future. The world is too big a place when life decides to give its worst lessons. Y/N had always grown up quickly, she had always learned running, what to be without roots, what to do if there is no one waiting.

- "We can pay her a visit" – Roman proposed casually and Y/N stared at him, because of all the things he could have said, she hadn't expected that.

No pitying comments, no words of comfort or judgement, just a blind complicit willingness to indulge her past madness.

- "Mmh I'm tempted" – she giggled softly.

- "What happened?" – heard him ask and pointed to her arm, where there was a scar similar to the one he had.

- "I stole her dad’s car and destroyed their fence" - she said, making him frown.

She had gotten into that pick-up without knowing how to drive or what to do, it didn’t end well, they caught her immediately and in hurry she had taken everything and everyone down. One of the poles around property had broken the pick-up window and the wire wrapped around it had threatened to blow her arm off, it was a miracle she hadn't fainted there. One of the biggest dumb act of her life and at the same time another lesson, proving Y/N she shouldn't be carried away by her omega impulses, it didn't bring anything good.

- "I stayed in town for a while I think, then left without looking back. I have no idea what happened to the pick-up or her. I didn't find you though... it was enough for me."

Admitting it, thinking about it, made her feel vulnerable. She didn't like that feeling. That attempt had been a failure from the start, chances of meeting him simply by walking a few miles, going to any city, any street, had been zero and even if he had been there, messed up as she was by pain, Y/N wouldn't even know she had found him. She had been stupid, irresponsible, mindless but realizing when it got dark she was still hopelessly alone had been worse.

She shrugged, picking up the dessert to distract and control herself.

It was over now.

- "We'll make things right, you have my word. It will be enough to be together, there's no need to think about it" – she heard Roman assure, once again without excuses or pity, firm in his intentions – "no more car rides though"– he added with a reproachful look that made her smile.

No, there was no need to think about the past. Everything had already changed and Y/N had learned her lesson, but maybe it was time to learn something else, trying not to run away this time. It seemed easy at the time and yes it really all came down to being enough for each other, filling the void with their bond.

For days Roman's routine had always been the same, calculated to the second, with no margin for error or change. He woke up before dawn, shower, breakfast and run, spend the morning in the gym, then lunch and gym again until dinner time, after which he lock himself in the office taking care of the documents Paul brought or business that required his supervision, and then join her in bed when it was already late night and repeat everything the next day. He was locked in a bubble, focused on a single goal, counting minutes, preparing in advance for whatever would or could happen. An absolute, maniacal dedication that Y/N somehow admired. It made her proud to see that he was capable of so much and yet it also made her sad.

Because in the wild run of that family war, she was just a spectator. She repeated to herself that she had to be patient, be understanding, that she had to put aside anxieties and bad moods to support him as better as she could, but it weighed on her. She did whatever not to show it, not to think about it, and despite her efforts Y/N felt everything around her emptying and cooling, her sacrifices devalued and even ignored. They almost didn’t speak to each other anymore and certainly not about what they should have because there was no time for doing it, they didn’t spend together and when that happened he was focused on something else, Y/N had the feeling of having gone back to the days when they were two strangers, two separate worlds united by a thin wire.

She didn't want that, they weren't like that, they had both worked hard to make things work, succeeding, they had truly found themselves at the end. The idea they were affecting their relationship, the possibility to distance themselves so bad to spend a life like that, wasn't something Y/N could bear. They had overcome differences, they shouldn't have burned everything because they didn't see things the same way in war where their relationship was not in play. They just had to meet once again and remember. He had taught her that and Y/N hadn't believed him for a long time, but they really needed their bond.

On the now empty table on the patio, she opened the floor plan of her old house, the one she had had to leave and Roman had given her back. It was nothing compared to what she had now, but it could become something, maybe just for them, a place where nothing and no one could disturb them.

***

Day after day his body pushed further and further, urged by pressure, focused on a single goal from which Roman couldn’t look away. He couldn't afford any mistakes with Jey, Roman knew he could beat him and he would, but his cousin knew him better than any other out there. They were certainly on two different levels, however Roman couldn't allow him to prove anything if he wanted to regain the absolute control that the elders had questioned due to too many mistakes in those months. And it was for these reasons that getting out of his head, stopping and having those breaks had become an annoying obligation that he fulfilled in the shortest time and avoiding any extra thoughts. Lose focus was a weakness, give ground an advantage, something he couldn't tolerate.

When he closed the door behind him, the house was silent as if he were the only one around. It had been like this for a long time, but time had passed. Now it wasn’t empty, Y/N was there and not finding her in the living room as had been the case for days forced him to follow her trail to the outside. He expected to find her busy, but not to see her with all those papers on the table.

Why is she looking at them? Why she got that floor plan again?! Stop her. Now.

- "What are you doing?" – he asked, voice heavy and she immediately raised her head with a weak smile, one that she could have addressed to anyone, not to him.

- "Nothing, I was waiting for you. Is it already time for your break?"

If it was an attempt to push away the conversation or pretend, it didn't work. He knew those documents, he had signed them and he had been clear telling her not to get any strange ideas about her family's old house, and yet she was there looking at them page by page at a moment like this.

- "I asked you what you think you are doing Y/N" – he repeated seriously, convincing her to put them down.

- "I was keeping myself busy while I waited for you to finish. I answered."

He saw Y/N keep her gaze on him, head held high, back straight, but Roman still sensed what was behind, tension, heavy air. It was since he said he would no longer have regrets that Roman had seen her react like this and in the last few days the atmosphere had gotten even worse. She didn't comment, didn't ask, she stopped trying to argue, she was good at not showing it, but his wolf could sense it when he lay down next to her at night, saw the way she looked at him. It wasn't a good idea for her to punish his cousins despite what they had done to him, she couldn't stand the prospect of a fight, she had promised to stand by his side no matter what and after a year she still rejected his mark when she shouldn't have even had to choose whether to have it or not, now she also took out the floor plan of her old house even though he had given her another one, one for them, better.

We told her not to act like this, she doesn't need that house. We did everything, we gave everything to her.

He had spent the last year dedicating himself to their bond, proving time and time again that he was worthy, that he would be a good mate for her, he was doing so even facing his own family. Shielding their future family even before their bloodline was born. Jey e Jimmy had ruined his plans, it wasn’t his fault, he was risking everything for what they would have built together, for their future. He had proven who he was, Y/N had to know, no one before him had ever achieved so much, no one would ever bear such a burden, there was no alpha out there on his level able to take care of her and anyone else. She couldn't think about them again, she couldn’t doubt, it was crazy!

- "What Im doing is to keep everything for us, protect what we have" – he explained to her for the umpteenth time, seeing Y/N stop that attempt of a smile understanding what direction their conversation was taking, as he approached the table.

He didn't like losing his temper with her, he didn't want to, but Y/N had a fastlane to pushing him in any situation and that was definitely the wrong one. Why she was throwing it in his face? At home, while he spent the days preparing to end the mess out there and start again together?!

- "You say it all the time, I know."

Her and her mouth…

- "Because that's the only thing that matters, not sitting here fantasizing about alternatives."

- "Ain't fantasizing about anything. You're so focused that we don't spend more than ten minutes together, I thought we could have a break for a bit, do something together when it's all over... but I guess it's a no if you react like that."

No, she couldn't blame him. This mess wasn't his fault, he was fixing it, it wasn't on him!

- "I don't have time to plan these things, not when I have all the work to do and problems keep piling up! I told you this too. You should have get it by now what has priority and instead we are here discussing because you keep putting these ideas in your head!"

- "My apologies, my Tribal Chief, is that good?" – he heard her reply, mocking him and he froze.

He looked at her angrily, as if they were back to the days when she couldn't stand him and he was always on the verge of exploding. He looked at her out of his mind, mouth twitching, but she wasn't even giving him attention, too busy keeping her eyes somewhere other than him, in an act of submission that was more a provocation than an apology. He ran a hand over his beard, clenching his jaw, but it was just too much and he lowered himself, leaning on the table to tower over her. Her scent, so familiar, usually so comforting, immediately filled his lungs, a regenerating peace that clashed with their fatigue and that Roman felt once more from Y/N, her body stiffening as soon as his breath hit her cheek.

He was the Tribal Chief and would remain so until God woke him up again. People out there could have planned trials, clashes, attacks, anything, nothing would have changed. But she was different, she was not one of those folks. Y/N might not have his mark, she might claim every freedom she wanted, Roman would put up with it to please her, to make her happy, because she deserved it, but still didn't change anything. They wouldn't go back to those hellish days where they were nothing.

- "I'm more than that to you" – he reminded, seeing her nod.

- "I know" – she replied immediately, finally turning around.

Her eyes, dark as the water of the river that ran through Roman’s land, almost seemed to suck him in. Two sharp chasms where he had looked for her for months, until found her huddled at the bottom waiting for him. Roman had dragged her out of there, he had given her everything, all of himself and he would do it again every day, without holding back or thinking about it and that was exactly why he was acting like that. If it wasn't for him, she would still be there, alone and with no future.

- "Make that stuff disappear before I do it" – he ordered, straightening up.

Y/N didn't move, her eyes still on him, as Roman decided he'd had enough of that pause, walking away. Her reaction reached him through the bond, when he crossed the threshold to go back inside: a mixture of anger, pain and sadness.

It hurts.

It hit him like a wave, alarming his wolf despite the fight, but it disappeared just as quickly, as if Y/N had wiped it away and Roman took a second to look at her through the windows, check, while she gathered everything on the table, head down and in silence.

He had to focus on what needed to be done. Distractions were just more problems.

We’re doing it for everyone. She will understand soon.

***

She had put everything back in his office, locking the desk drawer almost throwing away the key.

Why is he acting like this? What did we do wrong?

Her she-wolf felt confused, hurt and so was Y/N, with a good amount of anger on top of that. She was trying with all of herself, she was doing everything every day to make things work, to not disappoint him, to be up to the task, to not miss the opportunity for a good life. She had learned to ignore what didn't require a reaction, to be understanding when with anyone else would have freaked out, she was trying to be a better version of herself for her sake and for Roman. Was it such a bad idea? She knew Roman was fighting for their place, for his packland, but she hadn't suggested to leave everything and disappear, she would never have done it because she knew what it meant, she just thought they might have a safe space somewhere else... in a future less sad and complicated. That house was important to Y/N, she wanted to do her part, help, give back doing something like Roman had done with the house they lived in now, share.

It's already his though.

His property... that's why he snapped?

Roman had considered it a waste of time, a fantasy to be put away... after all, why he should pay attention to something no one wanted to take away at that moment? something far from his family war, from the packland. It already belonged to him, her she-wolf was right to justify him, Y/N had pushed him first, there was nothing to share or fix there and Jimmy's words came back to her mind. She had thought about doing something for them and instead she had really wasted time.

“The house… you bought it to give her nowhere to run away from you.”

It was a gift. For us.

Roman had said so and Y/N had felt so special. But it had his name on it, everything, every sheet of paper.

He wanted to make us happy. The best for us.

“I don't want you to go there, okay? This is your place now, it's your home and you have to stay here. But one day maybe we can fix it and go together.”

One day. Maybe…

Together.

Maybe? now the memory sounded like a dad tricking his daughter into not throwing a tantrum.

Smell of aftershave mixed with something familiar distracted Y/N, reminding her that she was still in the office and she turned to stare at the door just before seeing Paul arrive with a folder of documents in his arms.

- "Y/N! I thought you were out for one of your runs" – he said after a second too long, tone surprised and suspicious, as he looked at her standing there –"… you alright? "

No one was allowed to go upstairs unless it was necessary, but business those days seemed a matter of life and death, so it was hardly surprising. The last safe place for her would have been the bathroom.

- "You seem a bit…"

- "Take comments for yourself, there's no point in having a conversation" – she said, moving away from the desk with the intention of disappearing, but Paul wouldn't have been Paul if he hadn't decided to ruin her day already messed up.

- "Of course not, but I think you’ll want to know I went to talk with the twins. Didn’t go as hoped. Jey… he doesn't listen" – he admitted with disappointment, taking her place to add more documents to those already placed everywhere and Y/N finally recognized what that other scent on him was.

- "He doesn't like you, it was pretty obvious."

The idea of talking sense to Jey had been stupid. Maybe Jimmy could have been a possibility even if he was the one who started shit, he would have talked to a wall regardless of his sympathies, but Jey? No, Jey wasn't made for those things and both him and Y/N shared the same opinion of Paul. Sure he had had more time to learn to tolerate the so called wiseman, but Y/N had known from the very first moment he wouldn't accept any proposal Paul was going to make him.

- "You do though. He allowed Solo and you to stay if… well you know – he threw it there with such nonchalance, but she wasn't willing to tolerate, it was the wrong day – "he’s attached to you, he think about you as someone to protect."

What is he trying to say?!

- "What I know is that they shouldn't fight and that you Paul, said you would make sure to avoid it."

The brilliant idea of saving her during the meeting a few days before had taken Y/N by surprise too, there was no agreement or plan behind it, she didn't even know why at that moment, with everything that was happening, Jey had decided to expose himself for her. She was almost absolutely certain it wasn't something normal in situations like the one they were in, she was Roman's mate and Jey was threatening to take everything away from him after all, but whatever was the reason it didn't matter because it wasn't what they needed to focus on, especially not Paul.

- "I fear that stopping everything is no longer an option, we don’t have time, they have sworn in front of the family now. Neither of them can back out" – heard him say with a funeral face that didn’t inspire pity in her.

- "So that ridicolous meeting was the point of no return?!" – she snapped and he choked, hands reaching out in an attempt to stop her when Y/N nerves were undergoing yet another stress test.

She respected Roman's family, she respected their traditions, but it was unthinkable to Y/N that a handshake was an unbreakable pact, not when both sides were risking everything and whoever was supposed to advise them, stop them, watched or made things worse. She couldn't, it was something she couldn’t understand. They were a family, they had to act like a family, not fighting.

- "I wouldn't talk like that, let's try to breath now okay? Think about it. There are other ways to swing things in our favor, I'm already working on something. An idea in the right ears works wonders."

- "You're working on something" – she repeated, feeling blood go straight to her head.

Yep, sure, after all they had time to act with calm, there was a week to go and everything was already a disaster, but who cared? They could also sit, chat, think and judge who remained to be sacrificed so they could sip a drink under the patio when their bright future would be on hand.

- "I know, I understand your concern, but if you decided to be more cooperative it would help a lot and speed things up. The twins are stubborn, but Jey making all these decisions on his own could work to our advantage if we prove that he isn't capable of"- he tried, but it wasn't the right day for her to listen his sneaky little games.

- "I won't help you making anyone believe anything. You are the wiseman, be the wiseman, find a way, just do it" – she silenced him, leaving the office without waiting an answer.

She wanted that fight, everything to end once and for all, she wanted to go back to months ago when Y/N had thought she could have everything missing in her life, she wanted a family, Roman to annoy her with his daily nonsense instead of dramas to survive and manipulations on a daily basis. She was tired and for the first time since the beginning even if she tried hard… she couldn't see the end.

Breath. Calm down. Don’t lose control, we can’t allow it. Breath.

***

Right, left, right, left, right, left again. The punching bag was easy to predict every time Roman hit it, Jey wouldn't follow those times when they would have been face to face. At some point he would shift, it was the only way he had to really bring Roman down. As both man and wolf, Roman was bigger than his cousin, bruises and broken bones wouldn't keep him down once they were out there, Jey would have to do more and to do so he would have no choice. He was fast, he would aim for multiple points, targeting him, Roman only needed one, the right one, like with the punching bag.

When he hit it seriously, the chain holding it up gave way, sending it down and putting Roman face to face with Solo, standing silently there, even though he hadn't asked to see him.

- "What's up?" – he asked, catching his breath and kicking the punching bag away.

- "He was talking to Y/N upstairs" – Solo said, without mincing words and Roman stopped, staring at him, his sweaty brow furrowed in an attempt to understand.

Y/N couldn't stand the wiseman. She had never liked him, from the first day, it had taken months to convince her to not growl when he approached and now they were talking? Alone upstairs, while he was there training?

- "About what?" – Roman asked, but Solo shrugged his shoulders in a heavy silence Roman had to accept, hiding his annoyance with a grimace.

First in his land. Then in his family. Now in his house. No… not that time.

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @sortudademais @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @wrestlingprincess80

[bubblybloob]

You know that spiral thing that appears in Stranger? That each represents one of the princesses? Noticed that they are connected to the one they share an overlapping chapter with.

Like, “Consumption and Betrayal”, Beast and Witch, they both lead to the Wild chapter. “Skepticism and Blind Devotion”, Prisoner and Damsel, both lead to the Grey (albeit different versions). “Rivalry and Submission”, Adversary and Tower, both lead to Fury. “Terror and Longing”, Nightmare and Spectre, both lead to Wraith. Then there is “Pain and Unfamiliarity”, Razor and Stranger, the most unique of these because they don’t connect to any overlapping chapters (also kind of like Damsel and Prisoner since they both lead to only the Grey, but those are different versions of the same ending so maybe not. Also they have extra endings in their own chapters, like deconstructed Damsel for example).

A bit off topic but it makes me wonder why Spectre doesn’t have her own separate third chapter. Everyone else does: Beast to Den, Witch to Thorn, Tower to Apotheosis, etc. They said they were adding two new chapters to the game, as well as a post stating how Spectre fans would like the new update, which makes me think she’s getting getting her own third chapter that doesn’t connect her to Nightmare.

Wonder where the other chapter they said they were making will go then? Stranger seems unlikely but not impossible, maybe Razor if they decided they wanted to extend it, for the absolute absurdity of a five chapter route. Maybe it’ll go towards one of the endings, or as some super secret side thing that is sneakily hidden.

A lot of the Princesses they said will be getting new content in the update are on the Pristine Cut poster(? Don’t know what to call it, I’m dumb). Witch, who is not on it, was said to not be getting anything more, so I guess we’ll be expecting new stuff from whatever princesses are on it, and to not expect new stuff who aren’t. Makes sense really, I can’t think of anything new we’d want in the other more fleshed out chapters.

[cherryslyce]

Second Son (V) | Regulus Black

Series Synopsis: Forbidden from contacting Harry over the summer, you opt to explore the eerie halls of Grimmauld Place where you stumble upon a lonely portrait of the House's second son.

— Chapter Synopsis: Dumbledore's Army serves their detention with Umbridge. Y/N figures out the communication charm dilemma, and Regulus is unhappy with Y/N.

Part IV / Part VI / Series Masterlist

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader

Notes: Not canon compliant. More magic lore. Buckle up for some trouble.

You barely had half the mind to cast a muffliato over Regulus’ portrait to prevent him from hearing the chaos around you before you were crowded with a few other D.A. members by Draco. The Inquisitorial Squad surrounds you all, penning you in, as Umbridge continues to walk ahead, a pleased smile painting her face. 

As soon as you’re through the threshold of the DADA classroom, Goyle slams the doors closed, leaving your group of troublemakers with a gleeful Umbridge. 

Her grins grow impossibly wider, as she happily begins talking, “Now, now students. Take a seat. Today, you will be writing lines as a punishment for your insubordinate behavior.” 

You see Harry cringe at her words and the blood starts to drain from your face. You had heard whispers in dark alcoves of the castle about her barbarous detentions, and now it seemed you would be experiencing it firsthand. 

Good thing you decided to keep Regulus in the dark about this. You would have liked to leave him in your dorm like you usually did when you went to class, but Umbridge did not delay in bringing down her iron fist. 

Bloody sadist.  

You felt one of the twins place their hands on your shoulders, steering you towards a desk, only dropping down defiantly in the seat next to yours once you were sat.

Still dazed, you foggily make out how Umbridge levitates numerous quills onto all the desks, followed by a small cut of parchment. Regulus’ portrait seemed to almost burn in your pocket as you could feel the faint stinging of panic cut through your nerves. 

Satisfied with everyone’s complacency, Umbridge rests atop an ornate chair before chirping out your directions, “Now, you will all write ‘I must obey the rules’ until the words sink in.”

The cold sweat that breaks out on your body makes the room spin impossibly faster. Everyone was tense in their seats, a mixture of fury and fear permeating through the air. 

You didn’t know why you were panicking. You had faced far worse in the past. But, in a way, you were almost ashamed. You were going to be marked. Tainted. Tainted by someone as weak as Umbridge. You were at the complete mercy of a foe you and your friends underestimated. 

You all became too sloppy, careless. You were too comfortable, too naive. You would be sure to never make that mistake again.  

Taking in a deep breath, you picked up the quill that felt three times its normal weight in your hand, and began to write. The room began to fill with quiet hisses and muffled exclamations of surprise by those who were not quite aware of the darker nature of the punishment. 

This was definitely illegal. 

Your grip on the quill tightened impossibly, but the cursed object remained firm, unwilling to bend or break. As you continued writing, your rested hand began to burn as the words started to carve themselves into your flesh. 

The penmanship was unmistakably yours, and in a weird way it was relieving. You were being marked, but at least it wouldn’t be by Umbridge’s swirly penmanship. 

Steeling your nerves, you risk a glance at the front of the classroom, your hand stinging more at the sight of a pleased Umbridge enjoying a cup of tea on her throne. Feeling a stare aimed at the side of your head, you glance over and make eye contact with George who seems to see something on your face that has him shooting a scowl at the pink toad. 

Feeling reassured by your friend’s unrelenting bravery, you continue to write, finally finishing off the phrase. A drop of blood dribbles from around the word ‘obey’, the word carved slightly deeper in your skin than the rest. It appeared that in your stupor of staring at Umbridge, you slowed down in your writing. 

Placing the quill down, you shakingly bring your injured hand towards your chest, cradling it gently. Soon, everyone was finished writing and you were all promptly dismissed with a final warning. 

The trek back to your dorm room seemed to fly by in a blur, a fragile feeling of disorientation bouncing around your head the whole time. It felt like even the slightest disturbance could cause you to crumble in the middle of the walkway. 

No more D.A. meetings. No more practicing spells with the others. What’ll happen now? War was surely on the horizon, but there was nothing you could do now.

Umbridge would certainly report her findings to Fudge. Dumbledore's credibility would once again be put under the hot lamp by the Ministry. You all had severely underestimated Umbridge’s ferocity. 

Quietly closing the door to your dorm room, you make your way to your bed, robotically pulling the curtains closed. 

There’s no use dwelling on it anymore. You’d have to deal with the repercussions as they come. Instead, you shook your head and reached over to your bedside to look for your first-aid supplies. Pulling out your jar of murtlap essence and some bandage wraps, you carefully begin to apply the solution to your cuts, gingerly wrapping the bandage to avoid rubbing the wound too much. 

The stinging gradually faded and you let out a small breath in relief. As long as you kept cleaning it and wrapping it, it could possibly heal over nicely and perhaps even fade a bit. 

Quickly cleaning up, you realize that you could get your mind off of the day’s events by continuing to read Regulus’ charm books. The last time you had read through it with him, you had found a particular charm that seemed suitable, but you weren’t able to completely finish reading as you succumbed to sleep. 

Hurriedly flipping through the heavy book, you immediately delve into your research as soon as you find the marked page. 

Tacet Loquitur. A charm used most famously by wizarding scholar Cornelius Agrippa, the charm allows the caster to begin engaging in discreet conversation with the person of their choosing. The charm not only muffles and drastically silences conversation, but it can move sound to a distant perimeter without conflicting with the caster and converser. This displacement of sound may allow outsiders to attribute inklings of conversation to another source. The charm does not wear off and may only be negated by the caster or in the event that one member of the party dies. 

It was nearly perfect. You weren’t sure why such a charm wasn’t as popularized at first, but Regulus had told you it was a charm invented around the 1400s and became taboo due to public reaction. Apparently, the charm got Agrippa a hefty prison sentence in the muggle world, and ever since then it's been lost in history. 

However, even such a unique charm had its pitfalls. You wouldn’t be able to converse with Regulus depending on the situation because it seldom actually completely silenced the conversation. 

Leaving a bookmark in the page, you continued to flip through the book with your uninjured hand. You were growing a little worried, this book showed the most promise, but you were quickly nearing the end of it and you weren’t sure what’d you do if you finished without finding something perfect.

Suddenly, another charm had your hand pausing in place. 

Mens est Oculus. The Mind’s Eye charm, a charm used to project images and thoughts into the mind of a willing recipient. Briefly studied by Merlin, research came to a halt as individuals who abused this charm quickly were driven into madness from a cacophony of thoughts and voices. The charm's possible side effect of tearing open the mind’s veil of protection caused its use to be condemned greatly by the wizarding community. 

Oh. Perfect.

Nodding a little to yourself, you carefully pull out Regulus’ portrait from your pocket and prop him up against your pillow. Tucking your injured hand under the adjacent pillow, you sheepishly cast the counter spell for the muffliato you placed around him.  

Regulus looks severely unimpressed by you, so you break the silence first, “Hey, Reg.” 

Bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, he releases a deep exhale from his nose, “Hey? That’s the first thing you’re going to say to me?” 

You were slowly becoming unnerved by his tone, unable to really pinpoint the extent of his frustration. Hopefully, he would have some mercy on you, even if he was unaware of your injury. 

Nodding slowly like a scolded child, you decide to try and placate him, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have casted a muffliato so suddenly, but I just didn’t want you to have to hear Umbridge and her gloating. Besides, detention was boring, we were just writing lines.”

Which is not totally a lie, it just wasn't exactly the whole truth.

He doesn’t seem all too convinced so you quickly reaffirm your previous words, “I’m being serious, Reg. Plus, I was honestly a little embarrassed."

He seems confused by your admittance so you slowly elaborate, "I mean you warned me after all that the whole D.A. thing wasn’t a good idea, and you were right…we did end up getting caught.” 

Also not a lie. A part of the reason you barred him from hearing everything, was because you were embarrassed about being caught. 

Regulus seems to have aged from the stress of the conversation alone, but he hums in acceptance.

Seeing your relieved expression, he decides to shift the direction of the conversation, “Alright, I understand, just try not to do it again. Now, what are you up to?” 

Your face breaks into a grin as you remember your findings, “I was just reading for a bit, and I may have figured out a way for us to communicate with each other in public.” 

Tilting his head in interest, he imperceptibly leans forwards and gestures for you to continue. 

Perking up at his interest, you can't stop the enthusiasm from leaching into your explanation, “Well, I was thinking that we could possibly combine two charms that I found. The first one would allow us to have a quieter conversation where all noise would be displaced so it remains discreet... and the second can help us configure all of it so it remains in our heads.” 

Sensing the hesitation at the tailend of your explanation, he raises his eyebrows and prepares for the dilemma, “Okay, and I’m sensing a large but here.” 

Pursing your lips, you nod and carefully continue, “The second charm is well…slightly riskier than the first. There’s not a lot of solid research on it so information is very limited, but from what I can tell, a notable side effect of it is madness.” 

Slumping a little at the news, you can tell that he isn’t exactly thrilled by the prospect of potentially going insane. 

Right, you remember, of course he wouldn't be, Black Madness does run in his family.

Fiddling with the frame of his portrait, you hesitate before continuing, “But…I was hoping that if we combined the spells, we could dilute the effects of the second charm. After all, the second charm is really only riskier when you’re consistently casting it, but the first charm would mean we would only have to cast it once.” 

Considering your suggestion for a few moments, Regulus nods at the soundness of your statement, “And you said it could displace sound? Theoretically, that would work the same way with the mind link.”

Blinking at his words, your brain begins to scramble for a possible explanation for what he’s implying. 

“What would that mean?” You breathe out. 

His eyes twinkle a little, evidently having worked something out, “It would mean that anyone performing legilimency on you would be unable to pinpoint our conversation. Rather, they would attribute it to background noise in a memory.” 

Your eyes widen at his words, a small laugh of victory falling from your lips, “Regulus Black, you are a genius. Truly, the workings of your mind never ceases to amaze me.” 

You are so caught up in your celebration that you temporarily forgot to mind your injury, bringing your bandaged hand from under the pillow and to your sides as you swing your arms out in fatigued relief. 

The realization hits you almost immediately and the room seems to drop in warmth, a deafening silence blanketing over the both of you. 

Nervously bringing your gaze to meet Regulus’, a part of you hoped that maybe he had become temporarily blind in those few seconds, but the chilling way he was staring at you told you that you were in for it now. 

This time, he’s the first one to cut into the silence, “When were you going to bring that up?”

Your eyes flicker between your hand, now cradled in your lap, and Regulus’ eyes which could pierce through stone with how chilling they looked. 

You were certain that any way you answered his question would result in a magical smite through the portrait, so you opt to look apologetic instead. 

Regulus, realizing that you weren’t going to answer, quickly began to seethe, “Y/N. I can see the blood. What happened?” 

Merlin. You should have glamoured your hand. 

As if sensing your thoughts, Regulus’ eyes narrow and it’s enough to have you spilling the beans, “It’s okay, just a slight injury. Umbridge is old-fashioned that way, but it could be worse, you should see what she did to the wall.” 

Your attempt to lighten the mood is drowned out by Regulus’ unforgiving temper and your thoughts slip into confusion. 

Was it that big of a deal to him?

Sure, it was barbaric and illegal, but surely it was nothing compared to what Voldemort deemed as punishment.

Unable to match his unwavering gaze, you finally look away from him and out the window. It remains silent for a while before he interrupts with a whisper, “You should get some rest.” 

Snapping your attention towards him, a pang of guilt jolts through you as you take in just how exhausted he looked. You were wildly confused at his decision to drop the conversation, but realized that you were feeling quite fatigued.

He always knew how to read you.

Nodding mutely, you gently place Regulus’ portrait on your bedside and quickly peek out from behind your curtains and into your dorm room. 

It seemed that your dorm mates were currently out, so you were sure you had at least a few hours before dinner. 

Laying down, you smile unsurely at Regulus, who’s watching you steadily. 

“Goodnight, Reg.” 

You hear his faint reply, but you’re quickly absorbed by a wave of drowsiness and before you even have time to think, you’re falling into the void of sleep. 

The first feeling you’re astutely aware of as you peer into your dark room is the gentle pounding of your blood quill wound. Slowly shifting to sit up, you can’t seem to shake away the sinking feeling in your stomach. 

Gently rubbing your eyes, you decide to get ready to head down to the dining hall. You hoped that maybe after eating for a bit, you’d be in the right mind space to try and converse with Regulus. 

After slipping on your robe, and readjusting your tie, you reach down to grab Regulus’ portrait. 

As you peer down at the small object, you suddenly feel a gust of dread singe your every nerve. The pounding of your heart beats in your ears and you can’t help but fumble helplessly with your hands. 

Illuminated by the setting sun peering from the panes of your window, Regulus’ portrait sits empty. 

Regulus was gone.

tag list: @krazyk99 @venomsvl @valsarchives @bunny24sstuff @novella12nite @elia-the-bibliophile @txoru @surelysherly

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter Fifteen: Sattler's Quarry

Gates Of Hell [Masterlist]

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: mentions of death, virus, mentions of past trauma, thalassophobia (deep fear of water)

[A/N: this chapter is dedicated to the one and only @sattlersquarry who has literally been supporting this series since day one!!! I honestly don't know where this fic would be without your constant support so, in honour, here's a chapter filled with the steve x reader moments we deserve (and maybe a little angst, but I can't help myself)

I would also like to take the moment to thank everyone for their patience, I've been through two rounds of sickness and it really took a lot out of me but I'm okay, I'm back, and I'm really excited to share this chapter with you all! I hope everyone enjoys!]

Sattler's Quarry

You were living on borrowed time.

It wasn’t news to you, in fact it’s all you’ve been thinking about since the day the gate exploded, leaving you and Steve stranded in a foreign world shaped like your home. The thought of it creeps in whenever you’re still, imagining how horrible it would be if it happened without warning.

And then those terrifying images play out like a slide-show. You turning, attacking, regretting. You hate that you’re imagining all the ways you could possible turn on the boy you cared about, but you can’t help it. This virus did everything it could to make you feel like a monster.

Steve can tell your symptoms are getting worse. You’re trying your best to hide them, force them away, but every so often you’ll slip up and expose the intensity of it, snapping at him or stumbling to a stop to blink away the black spots in your vision. He could just go on, find the gate himself and escape before it was too late. But he wasn’t leaving you down here.

After Max’s radio message this morning, you had both immediately set off, determined for this to be the last trip across the Upside Down forever. You just hoped you had decrypted the pattern correctly and weren’t just leading you both out here for nothing. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Once your soft footsteps turn to crunches above the gravel, you know you’ve arrived.

Sattler’s Quarry was located on the edge of town, buried behind a thick expanse of woods behind the lab. It wasn’t a particularly unpopular place, but since it was owned land people generally tried to stay away from it. That was until Will Byers’ body was found just before he miraculously showed up alive a week later, making it a honeypot for insensitive teens. Since so many kids were visiting, the owner, Frank, decided it best to just drain the quarry to avoid anymore mishaps with government cover-ups and reckless teens alike.

While it didn’t make the cut for the ‘bodies of water’ criteria, you figured it should count for its past.

“Um, so where is this gate meant to be if there’s no water?” Steve questions, squinting towards his surroundings. Somehow everything was darker around the quarry, making it near impossible to spot anything dangerous. And there was always something dangerous.

“They said it always appears at the heart.” You reply, keeping your focus on the ground so you don’t accidentally walk off a cliff in an anti-climactic end to your life.

“What kind of cryptic bullshit is that?”

“I think they just mean the middle.” You gently nudge his arm, spotting the edge of the quarry and he nods, sighing.

“Okay… let’s find the middle.”

You lead him to the edge, focused on your footing to ensure it was solid ground. Everything seemed normal until a crackle of lightning above you shed a spotlight, glinting below. You both freeze, staring down.

“Holy shit.” Steve breathes, and you can only nod in agreement.

You had never seen the quarry so full with water even before they drained it, but there it was, rising up to what would be half full. You can just spot the smaller rock ledge you and Robin would sit at during the summer, imagining the quarry could have been a swimming spot if it weren’t so small. Now you didn’t really have to imagine.

“I didn’t even know the Upside Down had natural water.” You say, feeling a sudden pang of fear. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“When was the last time you drank water?”

“Uh…” He frowns at first, thinking it through. And then he widens his eyes, staring back at you.

Neither of you have had food or water for three weeks. And worse yet, neither of you had noticed.

“How is that possible?” Steve questions and you shake your head. “I don’t even… are you hungry?”

“No.” You let out a breath, looking around you. “How could we have forgotten something like that?”

“Been too busy fighting and running.” Steve shrugs and you tighten your lips. “Come on, we’ll freak out about this later, let’s get a closer look at this water.”

You point out the ledge you had spotted earlier and soon enough, you had both quickly descended down until you were both peering over the edge, close enough to the water to see your reflections shining back at you.

“The water seems pretty clear.” Steve nods, hands on his hips as he looks across the massive body of water.

You frown. “How can you tell? Everything’s so dark down here.”

“Yeah I can’t see shit, I was lying.” Steve peers back down at it, crouching and running his hand through the water. It was strange, knowing now that he hadn’t touched water in weeks and yet, he still remained completely satisfied. “Dustin said the gate should glow red when it opens… do you think we’ll be able to see it from up here?”

“I don’t know.” You say, shifting on your feet. Steve looks up at you, noting your uneasy nature.

“Hey, they’ll let us know when the gate opens on their radar thingy.” He assures, standing back up.

“That’s not…” You glance back at the water before turning around, opting to face anywhere but there. “I don’t like water.”

“You don’t like water?” Steve repeats and you nod, thinning your lips. “Wait, like, you’re scared of it?”

“Not the water specifically. Just like...” You explain, wafting your hand through the air. “The stuff in the water.”

“Like what?” He asks, raising an eyebrow and you look shocked. “What? I’ve been swimming all my life, I have no idea what you’re on about.”

Your mouth gapes, feeling exasperated as you look between him and the water. “There’s- it could… Scary fish.”

“Scary fish?” He tries to hide his smirk and you bat his arm.“It’s the quarry, okay? Nothing was even in here before it got drained or some shit, nothing is gonna be here now, okay? Can you swim?”

“Yeah, I can swim.” You nod, looking down with a shudder. “But it’s much nicer in a pool with ceramic tiles staring back at me. Not whatever endless void of death I’m looking at right now.”

“That’s the positive spirit.” He chuckles and you grimace. “Okay, okay, look, I’m not asking you to jump in there alone, okay? We’ll do it together.”

When silence washes over, you turn to see him holding out his pinkie. You smirk, looping your own around it.

“Thought you said this was childish.”

“It grew on me.” He shrugs, smiling down at you. When he realises he’s just staring, he clears his throat, stepping back. “So, uh… what now?”

“We wait, I guess.” You say, lowering yourself onto a smaller ledge etched into the rocky surface, digging your elbows into your knees as you lean forward with your head in your hands, trying not to think about what could be lurking in the deep.

Steve joins you after a moment, his knee brushing against yours as he stretches out. He thinks how strange it was you were both so comfortable with contact that it was simply second-nature, your arm pressed against his to the point he could feel your warmth even through the thick fabric of your jackets. When the apocalypse started, neither of you could sit so close, the space between you speaking volumes.

“Do you think the military have it sorted?”

Steve’s question was a surprise, making you straighten up to meet his eyes inquisitively.

“I mean, it’s been three weeks. They must have done something.” He theorises and you shrug, not giving it much thought.

“Maybe.” You say, pursing your lips. “They didn’t have much luck before but, like you said, it’s been three weeks. The worst of it would probably mean they move us out of Hawkins, maybe to California or something.”

Something sparked hope then in Steve’s chest. Us. Not ‘them’, or ‘you’, us. Steve was always afraid to speculate about the future after the Upside Down, fully aware of the inevitable possibility you won’t have one. But there you were, including yourself in the narrative like it was meant to be.

You twist your face when you noticing him smiling, making you laugh. “You’re making that face again.”

“I can’t help it.” He chuckles and you smile back at him, nudging his shoulder playfully. “You wanna hear something funny?”

“I can’t deal with another one of your ‘knock, knock’ jokes right now.” You groan and he laughs, shaking his head.

“No, it’s not that.” He scrunches his face in thought, letting his eyes drift to the water then back to you, studying you like it was his last moment he ever could. “I, uh… do you remember anything about middle school?”

You raise your eyebrow, smirking. “Uh… a little, I guess. Why, do you?”

“It’s probably the only thing I can remember.” He sighs, leaning back until the rock edge dug into shoulder. “It was the last time I felt like a kid.”

“What’s so funny about it?” You remind him and he clicks his tongue, nodding.

“I, um…” Steve looks nervous, staring at his shoes. It made your stomach flutter, feel giddy. “I actually had the biggest crush on this girl back then. I… I don’t think I hid it that well either.”

You slowly nod, looking at your hands. “Nancy?”

“No.” He says and you back to him, frowning. “It… it was you.”

Your eyes widen. “What?”

“I- I thought you knew.” He laughs and you shake your head, looking bewildered. “Literally everyone else did. Even Robin was teasing me about it.”

“You throw so many parties that the school practically lives at your house, you’re always ranting about getting a basketball scholarship, and weirdly enough I am fully aware of the crush you had in middle school that you completely ruined but it’s so mind-blowing I can’t even repeat it.”

His mind is taken back to his very first official meeting with Robin, the way she had rambled at him the entire car ride as he drove around searching for you. She knew so much about him and, since you were close, he figured you would have known all about his middle school crush too. How wrong he was.

“I didn’t know.” You say, smiling in disbelief. “Seriously? Me?”

“Yeah.” He laughs nervously, running a hand through his hair. “I know we didn’t really hang out that much, but whenever you were around… I don’t know, you just seemed so… cool. And fun. You would always make the best jokes, you never let anyone tell you what to do. You were so different from my other friends, I just… I just had a massive crush on you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You ask, your wide eyes staring up at him, waiting for an answer.

“I…” He lets out a breath, shrugging. “I don’t know. Maybe I figured you wouldn’t want to be with a guy like me. I mean, the people you were friends with were nothing like me. And we never really saw eachother that much… I just ran out of time.”

“Ran out of time?”

“Well, you know.” He says, smirking. “The whole sworn enemies thing we had going on for some reason.”

Steve meant it as a joke, but your breath hitches and you shift in your spot, eyes darting away from him in a flash of hurt.

“Wait, no, I didn’t mean-” He tries, but you shake your head.

“It’s okay.” You dismiss, leaning forward. It wasn’t okay, though. It was a subject you’ve been avoiding ever since you found out Steve lost a lot of his childhood memories to deliberate punches and infuriating concussions.

But maybe you needed to stop avoiding the truth. The secret was only keeping a barrier between you, one you had cherished a long time ago but… everything was different now. It was time.

“I know you don’t remember.” You say quietly, watching how the red sky reflects against the water, making it crimson in its wake. “And that’s okay. I mean, it was a long time ago, but… but part of me wishes you did.”

Because I hate to be the one to remind you, you thought, knowing that once Steve caught a glimpse of the person he was in the past, it would eat him up inside.

“Do you remember Dan Shelter?” You ask, looking up at him. He frowns in confusion, unsure where this was heading, but he nods regardless. “The summer before freshman year, he asked me out on a date, wanted to take me to a movie or something. And I said yes.”

Steve watches how you keep your fingers busy, mindlessly twisting around a loose thread at the bottom of the jacket you were wearing, avoiding his eyes completely. He couldn’t remember a single detail of what you were talking about and yet he knows he and Dan would hang out almost all the time in the beginning years of high school.

“What happened?” He asks, feeling like he was holding his breath for far too long, afraid of the ending.

“Nothing.” You shrug, finally looking at him. “He stood me up. Part of me figured he would. He didn’t really seem that into it when he asked, I was just… I was so happy for a minute knowing someone had picked me, you know? The weird police girl. But I waited outside the theatre for an hour that day until my dad eventually picked me up and took me home.”

“I don’t…”

“I know.” You nod, sending him a reassuring smile. “But, I, um… I did see him again. At the arcade. I was there with Robin, actually. Yeah, we, uh, we managed to escape our parents for the day and just spent all our money playing stupid games. It was fun. And then I spot Dan trying to beat some high score and I felt so embarrassed at first. But then I thought, why the hell am I the one embarrassed? He was the jerk, not me.”

“So I went over.” You continue, returning to fiddle with the hem of your jacket. “I asked him up front, why didn’t he show up for our date? But, as it turns out, he wasn’t alone. Tommy and some others showed up, teasing, asking him if I was telling the truth. And he just… he laughed. Told me I was ‘freaky’, that I had been stalking him.”

“Why would he do that?” Steve shakes his head and you tighten your lips.

“Because that’s how guys like that became likeable.” You say bitterly, “It only got worse after that. They all started calling me names, laughing in my face. Robin told me to leave, and I should’ve, but I wasn’t going to stand there and take it. I told Dan he was a liar, that he wishes a girl would care enough to stalk him. And then someone else stepped forward.”

You take a deep breath, meeting Steve’s eyes. “He said it was all true. And that I… I had done it to him. That I was some crazy stalker obsessed with boys to the point where I had tried to throw myself at him. And even though they were false accusations, obviously everybody believed him over me.”

“Who…” He asks before he notices how your face twists, turning away from him once again. His stomach churns.

“You said that.” You say quietly, and his heart sinks. He ruined your life, and it wasn’t even an interaction he bothered to remember. “I didn’t even know why, either. I just remember after that, Tommy and Carol starting spreading the rumours, even attaching a whole story to it about us at Lover’s Lake and me going all crazy because you didn’t like me back or some shit. Everyone started calling it-”

“The date.” Steve finishes and you whip your head toward him, eyebrows furrowed. Nancy had told him all he needed to know, and he had chosen not to believe it could be true. But it was, and he hated himself for it.

“Yeah.” You nod, biting your lip. “I… I didn’t really make many friends after that. ‘The date’. They all assumed I was trying to use them to get to boys, that I was some kind of freak. After a while I just gave up trying to convince anyone any different. I already had enough to deal with, I just…. I stopped caring.”

“I can’t believe I forgot about that.” Steve says and you start to shake your head.

“No, you’ve- you’ve been through a lot, I don’t-”

“It doesn’t change what I did.” He interrupts, looking at you with determination. “Back then, I- I was so obsessed with everyone liking me, with fitting in with, god, Tommy and Dan… I would say literally anything to make me their friend. I did say literally anything.”

You watch as Steve’s face scrunches in disgust, burying it in his hands and mumbling into them. “I can’t believe I did that.”

“It was a long time ago, now.” You try and he runs his hands through his hair, straightening back up.

“I am so so sorry, Y/n.” He says with such conviction you knew it was true. You just never thought you’d hear those words ever leave King Steve’s lips. And you were partially right. Because the boy sat beside you, holding your hand and begging for your forgiveness, wasn’t King Steve anymore.

“I forgive you.” You give him a small smile, squeezing his hand.

“Really?” He frowns. Something heavy in his chest was lifting. Three small words that held heavy significance were giving him a peace he was unfamiliar with. After last year, he had assumed he was on the path to forgiveness for his old self, knowing he would have years to redeem. He figured as long as he proved himself, he wouldn’t need to hear those little words. But he did. He really did.

“Steve.” You raise your eyebrow, a smirk playing on your lips. “I literally just made out with you in a cheap motel bathroom yesterday.”

A smile stretches onto his face, a rouge tint hitting his cheeks. “You mean you don’t do that with all the boys you’re stuck in the Upside Down with?”

“Only the ones I’ve forgiven.” You shrug and he dramatically holds his hand to his heart, making you laugh.

After a moment, he wraps his arm around you and pulls you closer, resting his head against yours as you smile against his touch.

“Thank you. For forgiving me.” He mumbles into your hair and you pull away, looking up at him with such adoration, he felt the tips of his ears turn pink under your gaze.

Your hand reaches up to brush your fingers against his cheek, holding your breath. He brings himself closer and your eyes flutter shut, feeling his lips brush against yours until you commit fully, your hands slipping around his neck like he would slip away.

The kiss wasn’t the same as it was the first time. There wasn’t any hesitation or urgency. It was just simply sweet, all of your senses consumed by Steve and Steve only. His heart found its rhythm with yours, everything else washing away into a stream of his happiness.

And, when you pull away, he’s still chasing your lips, eyes closed and cheeks red. It was the second time he has ever kissed you, and he already craved a million more.

“Steve?”

“Yeah.”

“Look.”

He opens his eyes to find your worried ones staring back, tilting your head to the water. He turns his gaze over to the quarry, his eyebrows furrowing.

A red glow was starting to blare through, casting the quarry in a scarlet hue. It was beaming from the middle, just as you said it would, like a living, breathing heart.

You both slowly stand, moving closer to the edge with heavy chests. This was finally it. This was the escape.

“Guys, the gate just showed.” Lucas’ voice blares out into the dark from the ground beside you. You reach down to grab the radio and hold it to your lips.

“We see it.”

“You have around 5 minutes to get through before it shuts off for good.”

“It’s all we need.” Steve nods, looking at you. “I’m gonna dive down a little, just enough to get a look and see if it’s big enough.”

He pulls off his jacket, knowing it would only weigh him down in the long run. Letting it fall beside him, he moves to the edge until he feels your hand on his arm, making him turn back to your worried gaze.

“Be careful.” You say and he smiles at you, giving you a smile salute before finally diving down in perfect form.

The water engulfs him like a warm blanket, shocking his senses as he prepared for the cold. But it didn’t feel any different from his swimming pool at home, his legs kicking out and driving him further down the quarry. He followed the red light, his eyes adjusting to the gate that lay at the bottom. It looked like some sort of thick membrane was blocking his view to the other side, but he took that as a positive. It meant nothing was bleeding out into the other side.

After about twenty seconds of you shifting on your feet, Steve resurfaced just a few metres away, presumably directly above the gate. Once he spotted where he had left you, he grins.

“We’re good.” He calls out, shaking water droplets from his hair and extending his arm as an invitation. “No pressure, but… it’s now or never.”

You nod, taking a deep breath. No pressure. You were just going to dive into this suspicious body of water in hopes of breaking through a gate that lay at the very bottom of the quarry. And you had limited time to do it. No pressure at all.

You dump your bag and your jacket, neither of which you would need on the surface. Hopper would surely be heading to Sattler’s Quarry now to take you both far away from here. Home.

As you ready yourself to jump, you look up to ensure you’d be swimming in the right direction when your eye catches something on the other side of the quarry, making you squint into the darkness. Your heart jumps.

The red glow from the gate was making the water a little clearer, making everything look scarily like blood. But that wasn’t really the terrifying part.

A dark shape was moving in the water.

And it was heading directly for Steve.

“Get out of the water.” You say, completely numb. He frowns at you, and finally your voice rises. “Steve, get out right now!”

Swivelling his head around, he’s confused at your outburst and trying to find what you were staring at. And then he sees it, something big. He wasn’t alone in the water.

“Shit.” He breathes out, immediately starting to swim towards you.

There is a big distance between you and where he started in the middle, your voice almost alien to yourself as you continuously cried out.

“Steve! Come on, just a little more!” You keep shouting, hoping your words would somehow bring him to you faster. It’s gaining on him, but he’s so close.

You’re reaching over the edge, arms held out ready to pull him out. You can almost brush your fingertips against his. Just a few more arm strokes towards you until the water would splash your face and he’d be in your arms-

The water shifts directly behind him.

And then he’s gone.

You’re just left alone, screaming into the darkness.

“STEVE!”

Chapter Sixteen: The Pattern ->

taglist: @toomanyfandomsimfanvergent . @sheisjoeschateau . @kthomps914 . @curled-hair-red-lips . @nix-rose . @palmtreesx3 . @kryztalglear . @sattlersquarry . @hey-barnes-stole-a-jeep . @sadslasher13 . @iliveonteaandbooks . @innercreationflower . @newyorkangelbaby .

[djarinsbeskar]

HERE, THERE BE MONSTERS: THE MINOTAUR PART 4

A/N: We're getting closer. Brace yourselves... Artwork by machiavellicro on deviantart!

Pairing: Minotaur!Din Djarin x Nymph!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ NO Minors)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: gross misuse of mythology, gore, horror, suggestive themes. Reminder that this is a MONSTER FUCKING fic, so be warned for future chapters.

NOTICE: If you want to keep updated on when I post fic turn on notifications for @djarinsbeskar-writes ! c:

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Day 10

You thought you had escaped him.

You considered yourself lucky.

But you soon learned there was no such thing in the labyrinth, and the Minotaur lingered with you long after you fled the carnage he caused in the forest.

Twigs and filaments of hedging scratched at your face and neck where you made a break into a barely visible gap onto another path in the maze. Your heart pounding, you couldn’t quell the terrified shriek when the air was disturbed behind you, a massive shadow racing past where you had just escaped from.

Another close call.

It wouldn’t take him long to circle back when he lost the trail. You needed to hurry.

Swimming through the hedgerow, you clawed your way to the other side desperately. It was too dark suddenly, the thicket too dense for you to see farther than your nose where you were coffined within the black foliage. When you hand finally breached the other side, however, it wasn’t open air that met it.

It felt like a living volcano under your fingers.

If the magma and rock and fury could be made man as a growl began deep in his throat, vibrating under your hand and filling you with the most intoxicating dread. It surrounded you in a sea of lava, cutting off your every exit. Made you hot when you realized the rock under your hand was instead solid muscle.

But instead of pulling away – burned – your hand moved on its own, tracing downward… getting hotter the closer you came to the source. The cloth at his groin gave you pause when something swayed beneath it.

Something mean.

Something designed to break you into submission. Or death. Whichever came first.

You finally reacted to the burn, yanking your hand away as common sense rammed into you ruthlessly.

He found you already.

How-

You didn’t have time to finish the question, a massive hand erupting through the hedging to collar your throat, his blood-thirsty bellow drowning out the sound of your neck snapping as you were dragged from a fitful sleep with a gasp.

The underside of a large root met your gaze, your hand flying to your neck to ensure you were still alive. If your pulse racing under your fingers didn’t convince you, your ragged breaths did as you tried to swallow around the fear lodged in your throat, your mouth fuzzy with thirst.

A… a dream?

You groaned, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes as you willed your heart to slow. Not again…

Not even in your dreams were you free from being hunted. Not even sleep rid you of the all-encompassing punishment the labyrinth insisted on subjecting you to. It truly was hell on earth, with no way out in sight.

You’d be stuck here for an eternity if you weren’t run down and killed first.

What would you even do if you escaped? The question sobered you as you pulled yourself out from the small dimple of space you’d taken shelter in under a root, the entrance to which was hidden by a sheet of draped moss.

It was impossible to tell how long you’d been asleep, stretching your aching arms above your head. The concealed sky hid the suns movements, but since it still shone behind the clouds, you knew it couldn’t have been for very long. The glare pounded behind your eyes, your dream finally catching up with you at the same time you became aware of something equally disturbing.

A decided slickness between your legs and a familiar throb you never normally had trouble finding someone to take care of.

But this wasn’t due to the drunken high of a midnight dance, or the wandering hands of a handsome god while you slept in his bed after a night of passion. It was… because of him.

Curse your nature as a nymph.

It was a well understood fact that nymphs – by their existence – were personifications of the natural world and therefore, were often drawn to the primal. To areas of potent carnal energy and overindulgence that often manifested in the parties Dionysus threw night after night, the whisper of an arrow from Artemis’ bow to fell a boar whose head would decorate the tables of plenty. The sex and orgies and decadence that you now found yourself on the flip side of.

You were connected to nature, to the very essence of the primordial and so… you were attracted to it. In all its’ forms.

But a beast? That was a far cry from an over-indulgence of wine and pleasure.  

Something was wrong with you. It had to be.

The labyrinth was making you mad… it had to be.

Realization propelled you to your feet as if you could escape those unwelcome thoughts and intrusive truths by simply running from them.

But they, like him, clung to your subconscious like nightshade you’d foolishly mistaken for burdock. Now, removing the burs was an obsolete task. The poison had already taken hold. A poison that made your hand tingle and pussy clench with the memory of a monstrous girth your imagination cooked up.

You blamed it on everything you could as you tried to find your bearings. You blamed it on the maze itself. You blamed it on Hera and her proclivity for curses. You blamed it on Zeus and his wandering gaze. You blamed it on the water, believing it to be bewitched even as you dropped to your knees to guzzle great handfuls of the life-giving essence at the first stream you found.

You even blamed it on the Minotaur himself.

In taking so long to catch you and put you out of your misery, you were forced to become accustomed to the fear… leaving room for other, more dangerous emotions to fill the space it once took up entirely.

There wasn’t time to ponder what those emotions might be when a shriek echoed across the labyrinth, raw and terrified before it was cut short with unnatural abruptness. That wasn’t unusual. You had grown accustomed to the way the wind carried screams far more willingly than any other sound to torment the labyrinths inhabitants.

It did, however, remind you of how exposed you were by the water. Especially if he had started hunting so early.

That was unusual.

He was usually far more active at night. As though cloaked in shadows, he could pursue his victims with a deadly invincibility. The shadows themselves an extension of his terror, confusing the instincts of every prisoner as they fled his tireless pace.

But he wasn’t the only villain within the confines of the labyrinth.

It had been a harrowing realization that just because he was the apex predator, didn’t mean there weren’t others willing to do anything, hurt anyone to ensure their own survival. You might have been wrongly convicted and sentenced here, but that wasn’t the same for everyone.

The back of your neck prickled suddenly with awareness, making you whirl where you came face to face with a man and a woman standing a short distance away, their hands raised in the universal sign of surrender. Their dress more worn and features more weathered, it was clear they’d been here much longer than you had.

Eyes widened and mind fresh with the knowledge that humans were capable of as much brutality as the gods, you backed away slowly. How could you not have heard them?

“Easy,” the woman began, her voice smoky and attractive, calling to the sisterly attachment you had been devoid of since coming here, “you are alone in this hellscape, traveller?”

That question was too loaded, and your guard fortified further.

You gulped, eyes flicking mistrustfully to the male standing silently by her side, his hand palming the butt of a crude knife of carved stone while sharp, black eyes scanned their surroundings. The woman noticed, placing herself half in front of him to drag your attention back to her.

“My name is Penelope, and this is one of my companions, Nikos.”

“One of—” you heard yourself speak warily, eyes darting to bushes, shrubs, the maze itself… all capable of hiding others.

“They’re not here.” You gulped when Penelope continued, your eyes finally pulled back to her. “We got separated during the night and have been trying to find them ever since. You are welcome to join us if you’d like.”

You didn’t miss the stifled noise Nikos made as his eyes snapped to Penelope, but she remained focused on you.

Tangled black hair was pulled away from her face in a long mane, various braids throughout the locks reminding you of those worn by Artemis’ hunters whom you often guided throughout the night. She wasn’t one. You were merely trying to find familiarity in her dirt-stained skin and keen, green eyes.

“There are about twelve of us, we look out for one another, work as a team—pool resources, take turns keeping watch, finding food. It works, and I’ve been part of it since it was formed. It’s the best the likes of us are ever going to get in here, traveller.”

Your jaw tensed at her ready acceptance of the way things were and you didn’t miss the way Nikos’ grip tightened on his weapon.

“You’ve seen him, haven’t you?” She continued when you remained silent. You averted your eyes, the woman misinterpreting it for agreement and not the blush you were attempting to hide.

“This place robs us of everything but hope.” A chill entered Penelope’s voice. “That is his to destroy. It’s why so few last beyond escaping him. They realize there is no hope, and simply give up. You can see it in their eyes.”

You didn’t like her insinuation, nor the dullness in her gaze. Is… that what she meant? Did you look like that? Catching your frown, Penelope shook her head.

“But not yours.” Penelope smiled, the first tug of kindness stinging your eyes suddenly. “You still have some hope inside you, we could use that.”

“Pen—” Nikos began on a rumble, turning towards her with a familiar hold to her elbow while he cast a suspicious glance towards you.

“The fact you’re still alive is admirable, traveller. But it won’t stay that way if you remain alone.” Penelope ignored him to keep talking to you. Were you so transparent that she could tell you were being swayed? That the thought of company in this abyss was as tempting as the thought of being swallowed by it?

Your brows fell over your eyes suspiciously, suddenly unsure of their intent. You saw what you got out of this offer, but what did they?

“We don’t have much, but there is strength in numbers. “

You cursed your lack of experience with mortals. Maybe if you lived among them instead of observing them from afar in the safety of the night sky, their actions might make more sense to you. But in reality, outside the occasional dalliance with a warrior or three, you had no notion of why humans did… anything they ended up doing.

They were much too juvenile, their lives too short to be sure of anything before they died.

“We cannot linger, Pen.” Nikos insisted once more, drawing you out of your mind. “It’s clear she doesn’t want—"

Penelope silenced him with a pat to the bicep. Ah. Lovers. You understood that. The man grizzled, but subdued as she took a testing step towards you, smiling when you didn’t retreat.

“When was the last time you ate something other than a few raw nuts? Slept longer than an hour at any one time? Felt protected?”

You didn’t know.

Honestly, it felt like an eternity since you’d experienced any of that. Your stomach growled treacherously, telling her your answer. Still, you wouldn’t be swayed. That only ever got you in trouble, being swayed by others.

“I know enough about life to know nothing is free…” You flinched internally when Nikos shifted, the wind mercifully carrying your voice, as soft as it was. “How do you benefit from having another mouth to feed?”

In your periphery, a sprinkle of stardust shimmered atop the stream you stood within. If they didn’t already know you were a divinity, they very soon would. And the greed of humans could rival that of Zeus himself…

“That—”

A branch snapping made you jump, the sound of your neck breaking in your dream flashing across your memory along with a clamour of instinct.

Danger.

It wailed in your mind, forcing you back several steps, snapping out of the fantasy you’d found yourself in with the sudden dread that you’d been hoodwinked.

But it wasn’t the mortals.

They looked just as taken by surprise as you were, all pleasantness from the exchange falling as survival instincts kicked in and Nikos pulled out his dagger, Penelope palming her own weapon at her hip cautiously.

Another snap and then it was silent. Dreadfully so.

“Into the maze, quickly!” Nikos hissed. “Now!”

You didn’t need to be told twice. Without looking back, you sloshed across the river, the tell-tale silence of the water breaking around you heralding his arrival like the crack of a whip spurring you faster. You only realized the others were following by the sound of their laboured breathing.

So… the labyrinth silenced everything but the people within it. What a terrible mechanism for hunting.

But you couldn’t concern yourself with their welfare, yours was at stake and they had each other.

Breaking left on instinct, déjà vu struck you when you caught sight of a gap in the greenery. You would’ve missed it entirely had a similar shortcut not been present in your dream earlier that day. And echoing your dream further, the mortals sprinted past it, losing you while you shimmied through the small space onto another path entirely.

A bellow sounded across the silent maze, an explosion of noise sending birds into the air and those stuck on the ground to flee or hide.

“Shit, shit, shit—” you whispered under your breath when you noticed the flurry of stardust coating the leaves of the hedge where you passed through it. It practically signposted your route to anyone who passed by.

Futilely, you tried to knock it off but only succeeded in spreading it further. Your panic over covering your tracks overshadowed all else until you heard it. A sound that made your stomach drop as you lifted your eyes to the hedging.

A snort.

It froze you in place as the other side of the gap you had passed through was blocked by something dark and massive.

But unlike your dream, it wouldn’t take much to reach through to the other side.

You really were going mad…

Why else were you still here? Why were you not running?

A dangerous game presented itself to you suddenly, one you had no idea you’d been playing all this time when the monster on the other side of the hedgerow stayed where he was instead of charging you like you’d heard him do to countless others.

Would he be as molten hot as he was in your dream, you wondered in awe. Would he be as hard?

Maybe the entire thing hadn’t been a dream at all, but a premonition of your fate. One last gift of Atropos before she cut the string of your long life. But that hardly made a dent in your psyche the way it ought to, the way it once would have.

Indeed, it hardly made a ripple as the thought of huge horns and wide shoulders you’d only seen in shadows mated with the burning recollection of a touch only present in your dreams to create a single, enticing creature before you.

You took a wary step closer, the eldritch shadow on the other side shifting at the sound.

Another snort followed the first. Sharper, your scent caught, and you halted before you could get any closer. A throaty growl rumbled around you, giving you a split second to step back before the hedging shook and a forearm burst from the same gap you passed through with ease.

It was all that could fit, you realized, his forearm alone as thick as your thigh. Dark skin was littered in constellations of scars and hair, and the hand attached to it… was that of a man. Knuckles bruised and bloody, fingers thick and palm broad while a ring of fresh bruises surrounded his wrist and gave you pause when he pulled it back.

A warriors hand.

Apart from its size, you’d seen countless hands like this in your time and been touched by as many. That violent possessiveness and brutal affection was unique to hands who caressed their weapons the way they did a woman’s body. That sought to protect or destroy in the spilling of blood and ecstasy.

Either was possible until the moment it happened. There was a thrill in not knowing until it was too late.

You resented the trickle of wetness you could feel slip down your inner thighs, his growl deepening.

You should have run.

You should have run ages ago. If you had, you wouldn’t have been burdened with what you considered the last nail in the coffin on your sanity. The last vestige of hope Penelope was talking about. For when you heard his voice… attraction bloomed in a way it never had before inside you.

In a way you feared you’d never be able to return from.

“Lost… little… star—” His voice was so low it shook the earth, a primal gravel that removed all notions of humanity were it not for your ability to understand him.

“Run.”

You finally broke from your frozen stupor, dashing blindly any which way. It didn’t matter if you disoriented yourself. If you lost yourself completely. You needed to ensure you couldn’t find your way back there… to him and the filthy promise in unspoken words if he caught you.

Tears streaked down your cheeks as you did, unable to care if they – or your stardust – were leaving a scent trail for him to follow when it dawned on you that he wasn’t just hunting randomly anymore.

He was hunting you.

But the worst thing was, as you ran, breath stolen and heart hammering, your tears were joined by a delirious smile of adrenaline filled ecstasy. While separated from the stars, you found your lost connection to the core of nature through fear, brazen danger. Him.

It terrified you enough that when another endless night of evading his singular pursuit came to a close and you staggered on jelly legs to the closest body of water only to run into Nikos once again, you didn’t hesitate to beg for his help.

To take him up on Penelope’s offer though she was nowhere to be seen. You were blind to anything else but the panic-induced need you had to flee what had happened in the labyrinth that night.

You needed to stop these feelings from growing. Stop them, even if it meant cutting yourself off from the very nature you once thought lost to you that now pounded on your psyche with a wild, bestial need.

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 10

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

I hadn't even realized I slept the entire night uninterrupted until my eyes flickered open upon feeling a gentle brush of my hair. My eyes flickered open and it took me a moment to recognize where I was.

“I'm sorry to wake you.” It took me several seconds to realize Dr. Miller was leaning over the bed, fully clothed and looking as stunning as ever.

“I didn't even hear you get up.” Embarrassment began to take over, leaving butterflies in my core again but he quickly squashed those anxious thoughts.

“Stay in bed,” Dr. Miller encouraged me when I tried to scramble up. “You called out of work, remember?”

I gave a little laugh with an accompanied nod, and his cool smile eased my mind even more.

“My last class ends at two this afternoon.” He nodded toward an open door in the corner of the room. “I left you a couple towels.. some things for a bath.. toothbrush.”

“You didn't have to-”

He cut me off with a firm, closed-mouth kiss and then added, “Make yourself at home. Help yourself to something to eat. I left you a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt to put on.”

It was too much. I was overwhelmed by gratitude as he threw out all the accommodations he had prepared for me while I was still sleeping.

“Thank you.” My lips curled up into a half smile and I pulled him back for another kiss.

“If you need to leave the keys to the truck are on the counter by the fruit basket. The code for the main gate is-”

“2003,” I finished.

A smile spread across his face again. “Good memory.” Dr. Miller kissed me again.. and again. I was tempted to pull him down on top of me but I wasn't about to be selfish and make him late for work.

“Thank you,” I whispered again.

“I'll be home in a bit.”

“Okay.”

“Go back to sleep.”

I agreed but I knew that was impossible. When he left, I laid in the center of his bed completely naked, a bit in awe and in a state of bliss I couldn't accurately describe if I tried. The mystery of the early portion of the night and then the mind blowing sex - they were enough to make me glow a heated crimson color; but the way I was treated the morning after left me swooning.

I turned on my side, gripping the pillow and smiled wide. I was on cloud nine. And then my phone buzzed on the nightstand.

Hoping it was Dr. Miller, I reached for it and felt a small wave of guilt when I noticed the number of missed calls and texts from my roommate. Immediately my thumbs danced across the screen, landed on her name and I hurried to put together a couple of sentences explaining what had happened, leaving out the ‘with who’ part.

For a while I just laid there basking in the experience before finally making my way into the master bathroom to draw a bath. The oversized tub was just too tempting not to indulge in and the warm water rejuvenated my aching limbs. I felt completely refreshed afterwards when I finally tossed on the clothes that were left for me.

Let's see what else this house has to offer.

The two doors nearest the bedroom were still closed and so I left them that way, not wanting to pry. As I approached the home office I gave a generous peek in through the open door and then took the stairs back down to the first floor.

The night before had been such an adrenaline-fueled encounter that I hadn't really soaked in the beauty of the home. From the marble counters, to the flawless, dark hardwood floors to the lavish decor that plastered the walls, it felt like something right out of a movie.

I passed through the living room and kitchen beneath an arched doorway that led into a billiards chamber. The artsy and elegant design from the adjacent rooms was overtaken by another scheme - one that was sportier, though no less ostentatious.

An immaculate pool tab with fine, red felt sat perfectly centered on top of an oversized carpet. The dark, hardwood floors beneath complimented thick espresso pillars in the four corners of the room.

There was a bar off to the left with rows of top-shelf liquor bottles overseeing the layout of the room from their perch against a wall of gray-toned stone. The entire house was a masterpiece.

Beneath an oversized flatscreen on the opposite side of the room from the bar was another arched doorway. I suddenly felt like I was in a live game of Clue.

It was Colonel Mustard in the billiards room with the knife, I joked in my mind. It was a rather cheesy line, though it was absolutely fitting. Had one of my friends been with me I would have said it aloud for a cheap laugh.

Crossing through the next doorway was like a miniature adventure. What would I find next? I had my guesses.

Dim lighting led down a hallway lined with stone. With each step the space narrowed and the vibes of Clue now merged with that of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Would there be a chocolate river at the end? Maybe Oompa Loompas? My thoughts grew sillier and less realistic by the second. 

When my short journey landed me in the center of a small library I wasn't wholly surprised. It was as fitting as the rooms I'd traveled through this far. A lavish miniature castle wouldn't be complete without a personal library.

Awestruck didn't accurately describe the way I was feeling. Dr. Miller had secrets - probably secrets that should never cross the threshold of his lips. The thought was planted firmly in my mind before, though it had grown into a garden of certainty. Professors do not have houses like this.

Still, I smiled. Being in the midst of the romantic mystery made me feel alive and somehow important. The latter was a mystery even to me. Whatever secrets lurked behind the walls of the lavish estate had nothing to do with me. I was basically a stranger in Dr. Miller's obscure world.

Why would he trust me here alone? It was the first time that thought crossed my mind. My suspicions suddenly raised and I wondered now if there were hidden cameras watching my every move. It would make sense. The thought made me think twice about climbing an elegant, old ladder that was perched against the bookshelves. Instead, I ran my hand down the smooth, polished wood as I passed and then explored the back of the room.

Another smile decorated my face as my fingers traced the bindings of Edgar Allen Poe’s, The Tell-Tale Heart. It was fitting, or so I thought. Of all the books I had to land on Poe - the talented penman of twisted, poetic horror. Somehow it still felt like a classy read. Maybe that's why I felt it was fitting for Dr. Miller to have in his impressive collection. On the outside he beamed with grace, though inside I knew there was a darker side. I just wasn't sure how dark that side was.

Goosebumps littered my neck now. I was tempted to pull the book from its place but the far-fetched notion that some boobytrap might suddenly spin me into another room, or trap me somehow prevented me from removing the piece of literature from its hiding place. At that, I moved on from the writings of Edgar Allen Poe.

You are being ridiculous. I was, wasn't I? I wouldn't pull a book from its place because I thought I might transfer to some hidden realm? Was I in a 007 movie? Austin Powers?

My fingers traced the Edgar Allen Poe book again before I moved on to browse the bookshelves. Wandering the estate like this made way for plenty of ammunition should another game of twenty questions arise.

A few books down from Poe I bravely removed a red and yellow book from its place. My active imagination sent that familiar jolt of butterflies to my stomach, though I was immediately met with reality. There was no secret room. No Indiana Jones Boulder falling from the ceiling to crush me. It was just a book - H.H. Holmes: The True History of the White City Devil.

The man on the cover immediately drew parallels to what I envisioned Jack the Ripper to like. He wore a top hat and donned a bushy mustache beneath dark, remorseless eyes. I knew this man was who the author penned as the White City Devil.

A piece of paper stuck out from the top of the book just a few pages in and so I thumbed to that page. My eyes landed on an excerpt and so I began to read a short biographical passage about Mr. H.H. Holmes.

By the twenty-first century, Holmes had entered American folklore as the man who built a hotel out of torture chambers to prey on visitors who came to the World’s Fair and may have killed hundreds of people, making him our first and most prolific serial killer. Holmes had already been known as the “king of criminals” before he’d even been formally accused of murder, but now he was a veritable supervillain.

Serial killer. King of criminals. Supervillain. As I flipped back to the cover to look at the man’s face again I looked at him in an eerier light. The red tint chosen to highlight his face was fitting for that of a proclaimed supervillain.

The paper holding the place of the page escaped the bindings and fluttered to the ground. “Shit.” I didn't want Dr. Miller’s bookmark to lose its place, even if it was just a few pages in.

As I squatted down to retrieve it I saw that the paper was folded with the word, LAYOUT, written vertically, letter-by-letter down the outside. My eyes scanned the room in search of some type of recording device while my curious fingers simultaneously unfolded the paper.

Blueprints? I laid the paper down on the ground in front of me and rested on my knees. In my mind I retraced my steps through the rooms I had crossed through to get to the library. Those rooms, like a Clue board, made up the left side of the paper that was titled in the same bold lettering at the top, MAIN FLOOR.

What I was looking at was a blueprint of Dr. Miller's home. The right side of the paper was titled SECOND FLOOR. I noted the home office, several spare bedrooms, the master bedroom and two bathrooms. Nothing out of the ordinary there. It wasn't until I flipped the bluish, white draft over that my interest piqued.

The basement. My heart rate picked up. I could sense that from the flush of warmth in my cheeks. Each section of the basement was labeled accordingly with squared off areas for a home gym, furnace room, laundry area.. and then there was a giant blank space marked off with X’s and lines that resembled some type of an experimental maze for a mouse to escape. There were no written labels aside from the X’s.

As if I was being possessed by a Ouija board, my finger drew a straight line to a staircase all the way to the right of the page. Like a fiend for adventure I flipped the blueprint over again and tracked the origin of the stairwell. 

“The library.” I actually spoke the words aloud and began to scan the room. Is there a secret door in this room like my suspicious brain presumed?

The floor was my first instinct. I patiently wandered the perimeter of the room in search of a loose floorboard or a square that was cut out that could somehow lead down below into the bowels of the house. When my efforts failed I moved to the walls and even pulled out a few books, beginning with Poe.

Nothing.

I scrambled to the floor again to make sure I was correct, that the stairway did, indeed, lead down into the basement from the library.

There's no doubt. I was looking at it, plain and simple, blue and white. Would I have to remove every single book from its place to find what I was looking for? No. That would take way too long, I knew; and it would create an embarrassing mess. What would Dr. Miller think if he came home to his books sprawled across the floor of the library?

Think. My eyes landed on a few books on the shelves I began to perceive as sticking out suspiciously far. I pulled, I tugged, I pushed in, I yanked out.. but there was nothing. No staircase.

A small bout of frustration crept in as I leaned a hand on the ladder. I rested there for a moment before turning to face the wooden rungs. A bigger part of me felt completely ridiculous and I almost wanted to laugh at myself. Still, I was curious and amused.”

Up. I hadn't thought of going up to essentially get down. Just above the ladder was a snug, little balcony that overlooked the room. In the dark it was barely visible from where I had been standing but now, staring up towards the heavens, it was clear as day. The ladder wasn't just there for show, it had a purpose. For a moment I let my fingers tiptoe along one of the rungs as I pondered what might be up in the balcony.

What am I doing? 

I removed my hand from the ladder and tucked the blueprint back into the book. My eyes scanned the row where I had removed it from, though I wasn't quite sure of it's place.

“Shit..” I whispered to myself, wondering if Dr. Miller had a special home for each individual piece of literature.

That's impossible, I thought, scanning the infinite rows of books in the study. He wouldn't know if a single book was just slightly out of place. Would he?

With a deep breath I tucked the book back in between a Stephen King book and another with navy blue binding and no label on the spine. It worked.. for now.

It's just a book.

I glanced up toward the secret loft again, still tempted to wander into uncharted territory, but I refrained. I was a guest in Dr. Miller's house and I knew I had already crossed some type of boundary by investigating the place, as if I was invited to do so.

When I heard a door open and close from somewhere else in the house I quickly scampered out of the library, down the short hallway and into the billiards room. For a moment I stood still and just listened.

Silence.

I let out a quiet inhale and then an exhale. It was the jingle of car keys that led me out of my hiding spot like a dog with its tail between its legs. And then I saw him, handsome as ever, standing in the kitchen loosening his tie.

At first I wasn't sure if he had seen me tiptoe into the room and so I daintily cleared my throat. Dr. Miller looked up abruptly in my direction and I could tell I had startled him from the look on his face as he adjusted the cuffs on his button down shirt.

He then put his hands on his hips and I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be to me being down there. After such a wonderful night, I hoped he wasn’t mad. And as happy as I was to have him back in my company so soon, I couldn’t help but wonder what drew him back to the house so soon after he’d left.

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