#defusion

[hanro50]

Well....had to use ai for something related to work. One of the rejected images fit the feeling of the blog so I snagged it and used it.

If y'all want I can switch back, but I like the alien feeling the image has. Like a man lost in the far reaches of reality...not sure if they're even a man anymore. The desolate beauty of the alien landscape and the artificial origin. That and I'm broke...

Yes the old background was fed as an input.

[crimsonrune]

Week 21's theme was Underrated, and I chose to experiment with something I feel like I don't see a lot with a bit of Splitting, or Fission as I like to call it, too. Certainly dividing stats is one way to get a perfect IV Pokemon...

Posted using PostyBirb

[ramyeonpng]

control how you respond to things sent to destroy your peace

[keefwho]

August 18 - 2023 Friday

7:54 AM

Since I'm going hard with the exercises my book wants me to do, I'll be doing a lot of writing here. A lot of the same thing over and over. Multiple times a day I have schedules periods where I want to identify common thoughts plaguing me, defuse from them, and perform awareness exercises that focus on physical awareness of my body.

I am alone. I should feel lonely. I'm being ignored. I'm not valued. I can't get better or grow myself.

I'm sure I'll identify more thoughts in the future, right now things aren't too bad. I have typical stories floating about in my head, stories I've told myself to the point they are like gospel. The story that I belong alone, the story I am worthless, and the story that I am stagnant. They are all generated in my head based loosely on real life data. But I pick and choose data that works against me because I like to see myself fail. That could be the overarching plot, the story that I am a complete failure. The Failure of Keith I could call it.

This will likely get shortened every time I have to do it, I only mean to identify and document the stories currently in my head so I can keep becoming aware of them. I also intend to do an exercise which focuses on my breath in order to practice focus away from my thoughts.

12:31 PM

Today is gonna suck, I can't have meaningful conversation. I'm going to be bored, I can't figure out what I want. I don't deserve happiness. I can't operate on my own.

11:57 PM

Already I didn't do all the defusion I meant to today only because I was SO busy literally all day.

This morning I ate spicy ramen, spam, and green beans and a couple golden oreos with my coffee. It was a big big breakfast, almost half of my daily calories but I needed that since I haven't been eating as much lately and have been down about a pound. I think that's also why I've been so physically tired and unable to do my workouts.

Stream went okay, I did a nice color study and finished another pic of my otter but it took a lot longer than I thought. We watched the Dr Zalost episode of Courage which was actually so good, a real masterpiece. I ended stream early so I could do some painting in VR for my bestie which went very well. I think the painting is coming out nice and I met a very nice girl who I discussed psychology and emotions with. We had very similar opinions on the matter which was refreshing.

That lasted about and hour and then I did my boxing workout. It was kinda tough but I did the whole thing, the big breakfast really helped out. I was going to clean my bed but I was already behind schedule so I decided to put it off until tomorrow given how long it'll take to wash all my blankets. Lunch was a bologna sandwich with some rice and a pear cup.

While working on my YCH I hung out in my friend's server and talked about my feelings a little bit. I did all my work there and then some, doing a couple studies based off pics my bestie sent. I did those in a different server call with people that wanted me to play Roblox but only after I did my studies. I played with them for a little bit before hopping in VR which was pretty fun. I hung out with 4 different friend groups, a little bit each. In one group there was something about one guy's avatar that actually had me wanting to grind up on him but I wasn't actually going to do that, it was also the alcohol talking. Kinda weird and out of nowhere for me to feel though. I did talk with him about Craig of the Creek though which I've never met anyone else that watched it.

Dinner had been Rice a Roni and Chicken strips while drinking.

Right now deep deep down I'm having thoughts like:

No one truly cares about me. If they do, I can't learn to accept it. Tomorrow I won't be as productive as I want.

All just stories. The same ones over and over.

[grouchydairy]

Tbh, tumblr text posts are a kind of defusion from my thoughts bc with time I get to see my perspective from the past from a less emotional less pressing place and can see things with clearer hindsight

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

[bunnylord-stories]

🖼 Poster Bunny 🐰 #bunny #bunnyart #art #bun #defusion #bunnies #bunniesofinstagram #artwork #stock #neuralnetworks #generativeart #artistsoninstagram #digitalartist #artist #stockfootage #ai #nftart #cuteanimals #painting #drawingoftheday #poster #neuralnetworkart #retroart #vqgan @nightcafestudio https://www.instagram.com/p/Chue0NxIbe6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theminecraftbee]

yeah, i'm actually really fascinated by the setup going into the last episode here.

like. okay. so the thing is: despite the tasks and the secrecy and the chaos, secret life has actually been a season of INCREDIBLY STABLE ALLIANCES. i don't think alliances have been this stable since third life. people keep on re-affirming their loyalty to one another, sacrificing themselves for one another, dying for one another.

the difference between this and third life, though, is that there aren't blood feuds driving this whole thing. sure, there are some grudges (the cleo/pearl enemyship from this season instantly exploding, for example) and some loners (poor scar) but. NOTHING like the level the end of a life series season normally gets to. everyone is mostly... friendly? and they're going to protect their own alliance first, but...

the thing is, no one has an incentive outside of the tasks to kill, it feels like. despite several tasks seemingly being DESIGNED to form grudges, that lack of grudge, killing energy is felt ALL THROUGHOUT this session. the reds only went after yellows, after all, and even that felt... almost half-hearted and cartoonish, compared to how it normally gets when there are only a few yellows left and a critical mass of reds. and without yellows to target here, what drive do the red names have to start killing?

they don't have any reason to betray each other, and they also don't have any reason to lead their allies into danger, right now. we're in a calm before the storm, sure, but i have no idea what can even START the storm.

something has to blow this up next. something has to make this fall apart. but for the season about secrets, this has been a season of people who largely stick together, and i don't know if anything can change that at this point. not when everyone is settling back into their alliances after the zombie thing last session.

i suspect we're going to have a different kind of ending: an ending of people who don't want to be doing it. who are tired. who don't want to be killing. all they want is to protect their alliances. they're on an even playing field now, after all.

the only difference from the start of the game, now, is that they have people to lose, and three already missing. three holes in the cast list to remind us that this is still a death game, even after two deathless sessions later.

i don't know where this is going. i don't know what this is setting up. but it's... strange, and i'm fascinated.

[realuity]

Torment Nexus

[a-sketchy-character]

Important pre-babysitting instructions: listen to the sitter, don’t play with the hot stove, don’t let any strangers in the house, and if you do...

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Karkat: FUCK I COMPLETELY FORGOT I NEED TO CURL UP ON MY COUCH AND SCROLL MY PHONE FOR SIX HOURS. CAN WE RESCHEDULE

[biteofcherry]

Eva, I am sorry to inform you that this guy:

Is not amused by your bratty behavior, not at all, honey, and he thinks that maybe he needs to find something better to do with that smart mouth of yours. 👀

Bratty? Me? 😇 I think Andy's been too stressed with work and in fear of him suffering a heart attack I simply did my best to defuse the tension and make him relax. Like a good, loving girl that I am 😌

Charm and defuse

Andy Barber x female reader

summary: You thought it was a great idea to pick your husband from office after watching him work so hard for the past few weeks. Andy was so tense, coming back home late each night. So really, surprising him should make him feel a little better, right? Well...

warnings: established relationship; Dom/sub undertones; possessive Andy Barber; smut-t-y bits ahead;

You feel a little bad.

Mostly embarrassed. And giggly.

There's a champagne hiccup, too.

And feeling bad, yes. The bad part is important. Especially when Andy's face clouds with that stormy look, muscle in his jaw ticking as he stares you down.

He shouldn't be staring you down, you think. You're his cute, beloved wife and you came here to make him happy. You almost frown at him, but remember that Andy's hand gets heavier when you frown at him.

Well, sometimes you do it on purpose, because the sting of his slap can feel amazing.

Something tells you now wouldn't be the right time to aggravate him further. You're in enough trouble as it is. Not your fault, truly, but better not point that out.

Pity that your mouth doesn't cooperate with the tiny non-drunk particle in your otherwise tipsy brain.

"Don't glare. It's your fault." You blurt. And frown. Oops.

Andy arches a single eyebrow as he takes a step forward. He moves quietly, yet each step feels like it thunders along with your heartbeat. Which stopped for a few seconds when Andy came into his office.

Your plan was to come to Andy's office in the evening, so you could surprise him after his last meeting and perhaps be a little naughty on his big, polished desk.

Which is why you came in nothing but lingerie under your cobalt blue coat and with a bottle of champagne - some expensive sparkle that Andy kept in the small wine cellar at your house.

But Andy's meeting was running late. Really late. To the point of you getting bored out of your mind.

So you opened the bottle. A few sips wouldn't harm anyone and you'd be more relaxed to make a sexy pose on Andy's office couch to welcome him when he returned.

Half a bottle later he did return.

And you were spread on his couch in nothing but lingerie and jewelry, sucking a finger into your mouth when Andy walked in.

With three other man right at his back...

You're not sure if he was more pissed that those men saw you like that, or that you cursed and giggled and waved your fingers at them.

He barked out something harsh to them and closed the door to his office (more like slammed them). Andy's eyes never leave your form, even as you stumble from your sprawled-like-a-whore position to a more lady like.

"Explain, please," Andy slowly takes off his suit jacket, "how is it my fault that my wife flashed a body that belongs to me to other men and downed half of the bottle of Krug that I saved for our wedding anniversary?"

He drapes his jacket over the back of a guest chair and starts rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Which makes your brain sidetrack and your thighs clench.

"Maybe if you weren't so busy with a boring meeting, you'd get to your wife sooner and do something about all this!" You gesture at yourself and pout.

"Oh, I'm about to do something about all this." Andy's voice is a snap of leather, sending shivers down your spine at the though of that potential outcome.

"Okay!" You jump up, swaying slightly as the bubbles fizzle in your head again.

You hook your thumbs under the waistband of your panties, about to tug them down your legs, when Andy's fingers clench around your wrists and pull your hands away.

"You're not getting the part you like, honey," his breath is a hit, cruel tease against the shell of your ear.

"Not until I've had my fill."

He twists your arms behind your back and binds them with his tie. Then he's pushing on your shoulder, forcing you to kneel down. Sliding a foot between your knees, he kicks them wider apart.

Keeps his shoe dipped right under your clothed pussy, too.

"You downed that champagne so eagerly and spread yourself like a cute little slut-" Andy tilts your chin up with one hand, unfastening his pants with the other- "You will swallow me as eagerly and rub yourself on my shoe like a good girl."

When you don't react, too mesmerized with the sight of his beautiful, thick cock springing free, Andy squeezes your chin.

"Won't you?" He asks, holding your gaze.

"Yes, Sir." You wet your lips and grin. "I like the taste of you more than champagne, anyway."

Andy snorts, but eases his grip on your chin and instead cups your cheek as he guides his cock between your parted lips.

"Prove it, brat," he challenges, holding the back of your head as he pushes himself down your throat.

When you start rocking your hips against his foot while tonguing the underside of his dick, Andy groans in relieved bliss.

Lord knows your presence is always what he needs for his day to be better, even when you're being mouthy or getting into trouble. He loved your surprise visit and if it wasn't for the unexpected witnesses, he'd take your giggly, tipsy ass for a ride on his desk - just like he knows you've been dreaming.

But other men saw the treasure that you were and since Andy can't punch them and gouge their eyes out, he has to take it out on you.

Besides, it wouldn't do good if he didn't punish you for being careless.

Sensing your rhythm increasing, Andy stills with his cock halfway in your mouth and taps his shoe against your inner thigh. You gaze up at him, swallowing a hum around his length.

"You don't get to cum." He commands and your pupils widen.

Your whine resonates along Andy's cock, but you slow the motion of your hips. You're not particularly happy with this punishment, but you guess you'd be even less happy with the repercussions for your disobedience.

Then again...

"Don't even think about it," Andy pats your cheek. "Disobey and you won't be cumming for a month."

"Be good," he caresses you with the back of his hand and pushes deeper into your throat, "and I'll reward you for being my good girl."

"My good." He starts fucking your face harder. "Thoughtful. Frisky. Wife. Oh fuck baby! That's it! Keep going. Keep-"

It takes all remnants of your will power not to orgasm when Andy does. It's fucking hard to do, because the grip on your head and the twitching of his cock on your tongue is a great turn on.

Maybe Andy's conditioned your body to react this way to the mere taste of him, but you have to lift your hips completely up from his shoe, because the slightest pressure would undoubtedly tip you over the edge.

Andy pulls out when he's still spurting, smearing last splashes on your chin and cheeks. Then thrusts into your mouth again.

Long minutes later Andy lifts you up on your feet. He unties your hands and helps you into your coat. Your body is still buzzing with need, panties sticking to your slick folds.

He doesn't clean your face and holds your hand in his as he marches you out of his office into his car.

[rebar2042]

bomb defusal

[grouchydairy]

After writing at least 5k words about it, I'm ready to defuse from this experience and anger and to make space for other things in my life. :) Sometimes it takes me a while :)

[bigboobshaunt]

Cutting the scene that explains ressurrections in the setting from the anime did incalculable damage not only to the worldbuilding but to the whole reason Shuro was pissed off at Laios and the party's flippancy at using dark magic to bring Falin back.