#pandaredd

[confused-wanderer]

Alfred is badass and has unuasual skills even for a batfam member.

Inspired by pandaredd’s skit where Alfred says “Bond wishes he was me”

The man is the caretaker of the bat family, he has raised every damn member, and has seen more than his fair share of wars, doomsdays and worse. He is a butler. And god knows what else in the spare time. All I imagine is that if a teenage Bruce looks up at Alfred and whispers he wants to train, Alfred might be the one who gives him contacts.

Alfred:

Bruce:

Alfred: .. wait here master Bruce, I know you won’t even listen to what I’m saying so I will let you learn the arts. Only under one condition though, I choose your trainers

Teenage Bruce: Alfred, whom would you-

Alfred *already on the phone* : Hello there Lee

Teenage Bruce *wide eyes* *mouthing* : Rock Lee??

Alfred *scoffing* : what world do you think we live in! Be more realistic Master Bruce.

Bruce: .. so who is it?

Alfred: Bruce Lee.

The scariest thing about the butler is that he will take you apart in less than a blow, and he doesn’t even need weapons. He will however use them just for fun.He can still hear if Bruce or any of the batfamily sneaks around, he’s been the only one who somehow knew Cass was in the room and offered her snacks while she was hanging upside down from the ceiling in the pitch black and overall has better instincts to locate any of them in the mansion than a GPS tracking system.

When supervillains, nosy reporters or even crooks try to break into the Manor, the fact that no one installed a security system should’ve really been a warning point that the Waynes had other.. deadlier security.

By the time Jason comes home he sees Alfred cleaning up the carpet, but doesn’t miss the wrinkled edge of the sleeve. It is only then when he looks to the other room and the criminals are all sitting in time out, each a truly remarkable shade of blue, black purple and green he’s never seen in real life. And none of them were even bleeding.

Alfred also has insanely fast reflexes. And to everyone surprise, he is an bloody good shot. Green arrow was once testing out a new arrow and it accidentally whizzed past the target and almost hit the cat when out of nowhere Alfred caught it and snapped it with one hand. And then proceeded to borrow a pistol and shoot the target while walking to the other side of the room, not even sparing a glance at the bullseye he had hit. All the while holding a tray of glass bottles that hadn’t moved a single inch.

He’s given advice to Jason on how to make explosives out of everything and nothing, taught Dick how to cut a tree in half with one kick, showed Stephanie how to always win Russian Roulette, guided Damian on how to break bones without ever leaving traces, taught Tim how to mimic someone’s voice and be scarily accurate, and so much more. Once on live television the world saw Alfred eat three cookies and refuse to pass them to Bruce Wayne before saying “They’ve been poisoned” and throwing them away. A few people swear they heard him mouth “bloody amateurs” afterwards and he insisted he was fine, stating that he was already “used to it.”

Whatever the fuck that meant.

And that is why the bat cave is a safer option for batman’s enemies than the mansion. Because if you were caught by the butler, just know that god has already forsaken you.

[demonsee2]

Panda Redd weighing in on Anthony Starr's Homelander vs. Superman opinion. 🤣

[viridian-vidalia]

Panda Redd inspired Batfam headcanon that Dick is absolutely terrified of Condiment King. And for years he refuses to tell anyone why, Bruce knows of course, but no one else does. But eventually after the entire collective pesters him about it he finally tells them why.

He was there when Condiment King got his name, see Condiment King used to be a goon for Falcone. During a regular "stop in" on a restaurant owner who stopped paying Falcone. He gets his ass kicked because it's Gotham and every smart business owner in Gotham knows how to fight. But when CK gets the upper hand, he drowns the man in a a tub of hot sauce.

Dick was the first to arrive, he was still pretty fresh as Robin and in his over eagerness he ran ahead of Bruce. He ran into the restaurant kitchen, and what he sees, is CK, blood pouring from a broken nose. Navy blue suit covered in condiments, he's pulling the restaurant owner from the tub. The man's face was bruatlized, eyes bloodshot, tears and blood streaming down his face.

That was why Dick was terrified of Condiment King, where everyone else sees a joke villain, Dick sees who he really is. A cold uncaring killer, Condiment King never even chose his name, it was an insult cus all the other goons saw was him covered in condiments being dragged out by a kid dressed like a circus tent.

Anyway, should I keep posting headcanons?

[cranes-menagerie]

BEWARE THE BAT CHARACTER DROP: BILL THE HENCHMEN

am I adding thepandaredd's OC into Beware the Bat? yes

But I also got permission from the man himself(go follow him he's amazing and one of the best comictokers out there)

(art by thepandaredd)

Voiceclaim: thepandaredd

Bill is the caffeine addicted,done with everything, only in it for the money henchmen that has worked for every single rogue you can think of.

The more of a gimmick a rogue has, the more bill is gonna wish he didn't wake up that morning.

(most tame being someone like cobblepot, the more flamboyant being someone like Jervis tech).

He completely refuses to work for silver age villains, since they tend to be completely gimmick oriented and he considers it a waste of time. The jobs that bill gets sent on vary in importance. Some being where he actually has to be hired hand and some where he's just there to be someone who gets equipment.

He's almost identical to how he is in the skits from pandaredd, except now he has more employers.

He's got a very sibling type friendship with (legally distinct) Sal, they argue like cats and dogs but are both united under the common fact that they both cater to Gotham's rogues

[danaclese]

"a cAt WiLl EaT yOu wHeN yOu DiE..."

Fuck you, I WANT Timm Drake to use my corpse as a weapon against the Joker.

I'm already dead what do I give a shit if my teeth get hit again, fuck him up Timmy you look amazing sweetie

[fluffypotatey]

Fluffy! You like dc right? do you know Pandaredd?

YES I DO!!! he also recently got engaged!

i love his dc skits so bad lmao not to mention a lot of his batfam dynamics are sO good and 100% facts

[drawings-and-sketches]

(ID: Paper and pencil sketch of Bill, Professional Henchman, created by The Panda Redd. Bill has a leather jacket, jeans, a t-shirt, and a ball cap. He also has stubble and a mustache, and is looking at the viewer with his right hand on his hip, facing off to the right. Text on the image is Bill, Professional Henchman. End ID)

[random-randhc]

Welcome to Psychosis World, we have cookies and gas.

So, people in Gotham are unhinged.

Not just supers, that's given, but everyone who lived in Gotham enough to called gothamite are borderline crazy for outsiders. It's like a whole cryptid city.

They hate sun. If there are no gargoyles, it isn't beautiful, full stop. Every gothamite are at least once did a crime. Maybe they robbed a store. Maybe they beat the everloving shit out of someone, who tried to rob them. Maybe they just bribed a cop and/or judge. Last one is like a ritual to become an adult in this city, really.

You're in the bank and someone are robbing it, and you see a gothamite in the back? You have three scenarios:

1)They are in good mood and from the better parts of the city. They just sit and wait, like everyone.

2) They are in good mood and from not so better parts of gotham. Then, they will show robbers how to do it good, because: "Why are your gun is on a safety mode?" and "Who the hell are using bags for money? Use backpacks, they are easier to carry and if you throw them in the garbage no one will know it's money!"

3) They are in bad mood. Probably because Gotham knights lost again. We will just stop on fact, that it looks like Batman beats the shit out of everyone, because it's Gotham tradition more than his "do not kill" rule or everything else.

They hate Metropolis. On whole city level. You could probably take someone out of grave, ask him about Metropolis and hear:

"It's a shithole of a city, without any sense of beauty"

Before they die again.

Their water supply are compromised constantly. Gotham has best and hardest drugs, because with their tap water? Anything less than pure Acid doesn't work on anyone in the city. And we don't talk about harbor water.

Everyone has at least one rogue in friends or at least they know them by name. Harley Quinn has psychiatrist office, when she is not in Arkham or commiting crimes. Iceberg launge is a real respectable bar, if you don't look in private rooms. Riddler are holding several questrooms and the non-zero chance of death is overlooked only like a creative spirit of author.

For God's sake, the have Goonion! Literal union for goons!

So yeah, Gotham is a giant cryptid of a city. It's big, with a lot of problems and dirt.

And never say it outloud, because if cryptid people aka gothamites hear it, and they will hear it, then well.

Anyone of them, from age 10 to 92 has enough skills to find your flat and stole every door hinge and spoon in it.

[bloodkrieg21]

could you make art of your favorite character? Or ship art of my melody x my sweet piano? :3 ^w^

Ok so not my favorite, but I do like a lot. (Also an excuse to show off this art)

I just watched the latest panda Redd compilation. And it had an idea. What would happen if Batman took revenge on joker. And I had an idea.

Jason wakes up after so many years and looks for his father. It was not hard to find out his location. Maximum security cell.

Also should mention that this piece is a rough sketch done in like 10 minutes.

Might clean up later