#dick would remember but not mention it because he has better things to be mad at | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

belle--ofthebrawl · 1 month

Text

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2.6k

Pairing: Ifrit/Rain, mentions of Ifrit/Dewdrop/Rain

Tags: Public Masturbation, Semi-public blowjobs, possessive behavior, Cuckolding, kink denial on Dew's part but it's fine he's fine it's fine they're all fine.

Summary:

"Dewdrop." He finishes stupidly.

Rain shrugs, a strap of his camisole falling down one shoulder with the motion.

"My Dewdrop…" he muses, tracing patterns on Ifrit's thigh. "I like the sound of that."

Ifrit doesn't remember how the night began and he's certain he won't remember how it ends but that doesn't matter right now. Right now he's got a nice buzz going, a nice grassy spot under a tree to stare at the sky and his hand wrapped around his cock because hey. Why not.

If he concentrates, he can hear the others by the bonfire, still whooping and hollering as they dance and fight and fuck. He could join them but that would mean moving more than just his hand across his dick and he's not really feeling it right now. More interested in feeling himself. Maybe one of the others will stumble across, offer their own hand or mouth or even more but for now, Ifrit's intent on a little self-love.

There's no point in saying he's not vain because he absolutely is. This physical form had been good-looking to start with and when he found out he could modify it? Just by moving around or getting inked up? Siblings were practically lining up at the gate for his, heh, personal attention in the gym as a trainer. He was completely focused and professional during classes. But once that session was up? They knew where to find him.

Wasn't just the human Clergy either. Mist liked it when he wrestled with her, winner take all. Alpha needed the occasional beatdown too and Omega was perfect for when he wanted his ankles by his ears and a fat cock pushing so far into his guts he could taste it.

Just thinking about it made a pretty pearl of cum bead up from his tip. He smears it over the ruddy head with his thumb, rolls his hips as he toys with the slit and thinks about the others.

Dew was so cute to rile up. He could get spitting mad over some teasing and all Ifrit would have to do was look down and see where all the blood went. Only made the little guy madder, but all Ifrit had to do to apologize was kiss it until it was all better and the flush on Dew’s face was from pleasure and not fury.

Been a while since they hooked up, Ifrit thinks. A little bittersweetness lies in the memories, how Dew had found himself wrapped up in a new role and a new pack while Ifrit was left behind but he doesn't hold a grudge. Just wishes they could meet up again, see if he still has a temper or he’s gotten it under control. Ifrit's seen the way that multi-ghoul needles him, nothing short of a masterpiece there. He’d love to team up with him to make Dew cry sometime and his cock throbs in agreement.

Then there's that pretty water ghoul. Rain. Ifrit's been dying to get to know him all kinds of ways. See if he gets as wet as Dew used to, before his transition. He saw the two of them earlier, before the party really got going and okay, they looked good together. Dew looked downright snappy whenever someone tried to lure Rain away and that was just adorable. Like a dragon angrily guarding the first shiny trinket of its horde.

Monogamy isn't really a thing to the ghouls. Why would it be? Still, sometimes they can get possessive over each other. Dew's definitely got the worst case of it Ifrit's ever seen over Rain. He'd curled himself tight around the water ghoul, scenting him something fierce. Ifrit could pick it up from halfway across the field. And okay, it was a little cute. New love, and all that.

He blinks. Right, that's how he came to be here pumping his dick. He got so caught up in the vision of Dew and Rain and their entangled limbs, combined with the noises of a few threesomes happening, his mind laid out a beautiful picture of himself sandwiched between the two of them. Maybe he could coach Rain on how best to rile up Dew, get his little cock as red as his face. What to say to make his brow furrow even as he huffs out a too-quick orgasm.

Speaking of…

His balls already tight, Ifrit lets himself go and sighs at the way it aches when he does. He's got better stamina but he's been here a while, whatever he drank is working its dirty little magic on him and the night is still young. Wouldn't want to wear himself out too quickly.

If he listens, he can hear Mist crying in that perfect way she does when someone's licking her cunt and someone else is doing her gills. Belial, she's cute. Maybe he just has a thing for water ghouls, but who wouldn't with all their sensitivities and tendencies to get so wet. Maybe he should get up and join them, attack her gills from the other side and really get her going, get a few fingers stuffed up her cunt, make her squirt like she always does. His hand wraps around himself again and before he knows it, he's got his tongue in Rain's gills instead, frenching him from the inside while he bounces on Ifrit's lap, claws digging into his shoulders. Feeling Rain gasp for air as he creams around Ifrit's cock, Dew’s eyes dark with fury.

“You look like you're having fun.” Comes a soft voice and Ifrit chuckles, squeezing the base of his cock.

“Just thinking about you.” He says honestly, cracking his eye to peer at Rain. He looks good tonight. Always looks good but this is the first time Ifrit's seen him in something other than his uniform, a pair of light blue shorts that skim the tops of his thighs and a sleeveless shirt with thin straps and thinner fabric. Ifrit’s eyes lazily slide up and then firmly look back down, no shame. Dew’s not here to hiss and snarl, Ifrit's going to take advantage. As much as Rain will let him.

“We’ve never been properly introduced.” Rain muses, coming closer. “I know your name though. Seen you around. Seen some footage.”

“Do you like what you see?” Ifrit asks, angling himself so Rain can get an eyeful of his body, toned muscles and cock on full display. Like before. He's not shy about his own vanity. He half expects his confidence to intimidate the quiet water ghoul but Rain…Rain laughs at him. No one's ever laughed at Ifrit before.

He doesn't know if he likes it or not.

“Dew said you were cocky.” He drops to his hands and knees, tail coiling behind him. His eyes narrow as he comes up between Ifrit's thighs and smiles with a little too much fang for comfort. “He wouldn't be happy if he knew I was with you.”

“Then why are you here anyway?” Ifrit asks bluntly, trying to regain a foothold in the strange shift that he's pretty sure just happened.

“Because sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” Rain tells him with a nip to his skin that sends Ifrit reeling. No way this is happening. He can still smell Dew on Rain's clothes, smoke and anger and lust. So much lust.

"Isn't Dewdrop your, uh…" Boyfriend is the first word that comes to mind but it doesn't feel right. Too human, too exclusive. Packmate would be the best option yet it still feels too casual for whatever the hell those two have going on. He and Dew were packmates and they were never so touchy-feely as he is with Rain. He vaguely remembers Dew getting a little weird about Aether when he was first summoned but it still had nothing on how he behaved now. Rain seems to humor it and continue to do his own thing when Dew's not looking but he still doesn't want to get on the little guy's bad side and ruin any possibilities.

"Dewdrop." He finishes stupidly.

Rain shrugs, a strap of his camisole falling down one shoulder with the motion.

"My Dewdrop…" he muses, tracing patterns on Ifrit's thigh. "I like the sound of that."

His fingers tickle dangerously high and Ifrit squirms against the tree.

"Well," Rain continues thoughtfully, casually wrapping his hand around the base of Ifrit's cock, hiding the sudden flare of his tattoos as he begins to stroke him slowly. "My Dewdrop said he didn't want you touching me. So don't touch me. And we'll be alright."

Ifrit feels far from alright at this moment in time, but then Rain's bowing to dab his soft tongue to the underside and he can't find it in him to argue. The first gentle lap hits him harder than a punch, the second, somehow even worse. Rain entertains himself with Ifrit's cock like he's got all the time in the world; sliding the foreskin to and fro over the ridge, mouthing at the tip and going even lower to fit both of Ifrit's balls in his mouth. Going back up and rubbing his cheek against the head to smear the beads of pre cum all across his face.

"These are pretty," he remarks, so casual as if he was admiring a garden or a display of jewelry. Ifrit doesn't even know what he's talking about at first until Rain starts tracing the outline of his tattoos with his tongue. He got them done months ago, glyphs written and designed to further pleasure a partner. Maybe one or two thrown in so no matter how he thrusts, he always hits the best spots.

"Enchanted?" He asks, looking at Ifrit with his dark eyes, pressing a kiss to the shaft. Ifrit nods stupidly, fingers curling in the grass to keep from grabbing Rain's head and pushing him down again, make that pretty mouth drool with how Ifrit would fuck it.

"Thought so." Rain says with satisfaction. "I like the way it tingles when I touch them. Must feel good to get fucked by a cock like this."

"I've had no complaints." Ifrit gasps as Rain lays his tongue flat to slap his cock against it. He's such an active participant in his past flings that it feels off-putting to just sit here and let himself be…be toyed with. He doesn't even think Rain's blinked once since settling between his thighs and it's unnerving.

"When Dew calms down a bit," Rain starts, moving Ifrit's cock this way and that to admire all of his tattoos as they glow. "With this whole possessive thing. Maybe I'll ride it."

"Fuh-" Ifrit hisses as a large blurt of precum oozes out of his slit. Rain drinks it down then goes even further, opening his jaw for Ifrit to easily slide in without grazing any fangs. "Fucking, oh, oh that's good."

He's so pent up from touching himself earlier, thinking he wouldn't have to worry about stamina. Now he's got Rain making the sweetest, choked noises as he fucks his face on Ifrit's dick, nice and sloppy, getting his saliva all over Ifrit's balls while he gags on it. Ifrit's tearing up handfuls of grass as Rain brutalizes his own throat, moaning and trying to stifle his moans at the same time, lest Dewdrop catch them in the act and get royally pissed off.

Rain would probably just kiss him with a mouth of Ifrit's cum, his brain offers up and it's over.

He cums with a pained noise, faster than he'd like to but again he’d been working himself up decently beforehand and if he knew Rain was going to go to town on him, he would have saved his stamina. He tries to warn Rain with a stuttered exclamation as his body locks up. Rain just pulls away to tug at his cock and Ifrit starts praying Rain will put it back in his mouth and swallow but he keeps pumping his hand at first. Aims so the first spray lands thick over his eyelashes, the second glossing his full lips, smearing the head around before kissing it and pushing down to take Ifrit in, letting him finish directly down his tight throat.

“Fuck!” Ifrit shouts, hitting his head on the tree when he throws it back, trying to fuck Rain's mouth for the last few flexes of his cock. Rain keeps still, lets his jaw hang open as Ifrit pushes his cum back in as it drools out, relishing the slide of Rain’s tongue on his skin even as he slips into oversensitivity and the friction is too much. Rain lets him go with a final kiss and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he sits up tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. Ifrit's cum is dabbed off Rain’s eyelashes with his ring finger, also licked clean. There's something almost feline about him as he does it, looking so beautiful in the fractured moonlight coming down from between the branches.

"Can I," Ifrit starts. "Do you…anything?" He sounds stupid to himself and can't even imagine what he sounds like to Rain, staring down at him with a passive, unreadable expression.

"I already got mine." He says carelessly, flopping back and spreading his thighs to show off the wet fabric of his tight little shorts clinging to his cunt. Ifrit swallows thickly, eyes riveted on the way he drags his fingers softly over it. He can see the way they bump over the shape of his swollen clit and Ifrit moans right along with Rain when he rubs the tip of it.

"Swiss and Aether." He tells Ifrit, a subtle lift at the corners of his mouth. He raises a leg and uses the motion to flip himself over, lifting his tail to reveal another damp spot just underneath that's slowly drooled out enough cum to combine with the first one.

"Mountain."

Ifrit practically convulses with the longing stab of arousal the sight gives him, wheezing as Rain wiggles his shorts down to give him a better look at his well-used holes, swaying his hips and letting them gape for the briefest of moments, before shimmying his clothes back on and doing something elegant and twisted that results in him standing up, hand on his hip. Looking down at Ifrit with an amused little smile.

“Dew always forgives me if I confess everything. Helps to give him a demonstration too…So he knows what he missed out on.” It's said in such a blaisè tone for all the heavy implications in the words, Ifrit can't quite believe what he just heard. Just stares open mouthed at Rain with his soft cock wilting against his thigh and his ears ringing. Rain covers his laugh and leans close. Lets Ifrit get a nice view of his tits down his top as he takes two fingers, the two he'd touched himself with, and pets Ifrit's tongue. Before he knows what he's doing, he closes his lips around them and sucks, shivering at the faint taste of salt and sex.

“You're cute.” Rain says. “I hope I get to play with you again.”

He tries to say something but what exactly he wants to say he doesn't know. It just comes out as a stupid little uh-huh around Rain’s fingers as he withdraws them. He chases them but then Rain’s giving him a little head shake, wiping them on Ifrit's cheek and he falls back, defeated and stunned. Rain giving him that mischievous little smile the whole time.

“See you ‘round.” He says, tapping those same two fingers against his eyebrows, giving Ifrit a lazy salute. The fingers go from his temple to his mouth, where Rain spreads them and licks lasciviously in between with a wicked little wink before turning and walking off, leaving Ifrit to stare at the way his hips swing in well fucked and insouciant little half circles. How he's not limping is beyond anyone's guess.

“Damn…” he wheezes, head hitting the trunk. “Just… damn.”

What a night.

#Ifrit x rain #rain x dewdrop #ifrit x rain x dewdrop #nsft #cw cucking #damn i actually finished it really quick. that means there's something wrong with it.

64 notes · View notes

alloftheimagines · 2 years

Text

steve harrington | movie night

masterlist | ko-fi

words: 2.9k

warnings: reader has a pregnancy scare and is dating a shitty, toxic jock, alcohol consumption, steve is whipped, enemies to lovers vibes, strong language, mentions of spooky hawkins shenanigans, no spoilers, reader has she/her pronouns,

prompts: Any time anything bad happens your there are you cursing me or something? Steve Harrington x reader can it have some fluff and angst &

the "i don't need your pity" with steve please ❤️

Steve Harrington is trying really hard not to notice you. You’ve barely spoken since the two of you were kidnapped by Russians last July, never great friends to begin with — partly because he loves teasing the shit out of you, and partly because he’s always dragging you into Hawkins’s batshit underworld, whether it’s Demogorgons killing Dustin Henderson’s cat or a giant fucking Mind Flayer in the middle of the mall. And between those things, you were stuck with him for years. Tutoring him at school. Working with him at Scoops. You irritate each other to no end, but he can’t stop that burning feeling that flames in his chest whenever you’re around; that need to get a reaction.

He hasn’t worked out why it’s there yet, or maybe he’s in denial. Robin claims it’s because he likes you, but Steve refuses to admit he has feelings for the very bane of his existence, the person who always ate the leftover pistachio ice cream, of all things. He doesn’t trust anyone who picks wild, shitty flavours involving nuts. It’s mint chocolate chip or nothing.

That’s why, when he comes out back and finds you browsing the chick flick section in Family Video, he freezes with a collection of tapes still in his hands. And okay, maybe the sight of you leaves him bristling instinctively, but… maybe he’d also forgotten how pretty you look when you’re concentrating, tongue sticking out just slightly and eyes narrowed. It’s your perfecting-the-ice-cream-scoop face. Your murdering-gruesome-monsters-with-a-baseball-bat face. And, apparently, your looking-for-exactly-the-right-romcom face.

He’s missed that face. Not that he would ever admit it. He retreats behind the counter quietly, half-wondering if he could go back to the stockroom or take his afternoon break a little early. But then he won’t have the chance to talk to you, and the thought leaves him feeling empty.

So he stays, distracting himself by sorting the videos, first by genre and then alphabet. As he does, he feels Robin’s presence behind him — and jumps when he looks over his shoulder to find her breathing down his neck. “Guess who’s here?”

Heat rises to his cheeks, but he feigns nonchalance. “I don’t know. Who?”

“Only the love of your life. And look at that blush!” She points and he slaps her hand away. “You’re still crushing hard, I see.”

He glares, turning around and leaning against the counter. “Yeah, right,” he scoffs. “Please. She's the most irritating person in the world. We’re not doing this whole,” he motions vaguely, “thing again.”

“The thing where you pretend you don’t like Y/N?”

“The thing where you try to play Cupid with me and the one person I can’t stand.”

Robin rolls her eyes, leaning on the counter beside him. He mirrors her position, crossing his arms and stealing a glance your way. He can barely see you behind the row of tapes, thank god.

A new customer distracts him, swaggering through the door. An asshole jock he never liked, and not just because he was better at basketball. Wes is a dick. Has always been a dick. Steve vaguely remembers coming home with a chunk of hair missing in middle school once because Wes had taken it upon himself to chop it all off. The entire class had laughed, and Steve had grown out his hair just to spite them.

Wes doesn’t look their way when he enters. Instead, he heads straight to you, dragging his feet and groaning when he finds you. “Again? Seriously?”

“Oh, please. If we watch Mad Max one more time, I’m going to gouge out my eyes.”

“Yeah, well, if I have to sit through another dull snooze fest with that ginger chick, I’m gonna gouge them out for you.”

Steve catches you scowling through the video racks and clenches his jaw. He had no idea you were dating anybody, but you’ve had your fair share of shitbags over the years. It pisses him off, the way you always choose the worst people to date. Whenever he overheard you gossiping with Robin at Scoops, he wanted to shake you. Tell you to wake the fuck up and choose someone better.

But he doesn’t know why he’s still surprised.

You sigh; pick a movie. “I’ll watch a shitty action if you watch a shitty romance. How about that?”

Wes still rolls his eyes as though you’re asking him to sacrifice a limb, and even Steve knows it’s a dick move. If he was dating somebody like you, he’d watch anything to make you happy. Not that he’d ever want to date someone like you. God, no. You’re… awful.

Your boyfriend picks up Fright Night as you approach the counter, slamming it in front of Steve beside your Romancing the Stone. Steve glances at Robin in the hopes she’ll serve you so he won’t have to, but after greeting you happily, she wanders into the back mumbling something about a lunch break. Typical.

With a huff, he drags his feet to you. “Y/N.” He nods.

“Steve,” you reply tersely, shuffling from one foot to the other.

“This is where you’re working now, Harrington?” Wes scoffs beside you, his sparkling eyes fixing on Steve’s tacky uniform. “King Steve is no more, huh?”

“Wes,” you scold.

Steve ignores him, inputting your rentals into the system. He finds his fingers shaking; not with anger, but with something that feels rooted much deeper in his gut. Something that makes him feel sick. Why Wes? You could have anybody, so why would you choose a dick like him?

“Just saying. It’s kinda funny.” Wes plays with Steve’s name badge, face twisted with the taunt. “Least you get this cool badge, right?”

“That’s enough,” you snap at the same time Steve bats his hand away. Steve only notices then that you’re pale. Eyes watery. Worry niggles through him, and he wishes it wouldn’t.

“Jeez,” Wes mutters. “Lighten up, babe.”

You shake your head, pulling out your purse to pay Steve. “Why can’t you just stop being an asshole?”

“What did you say to me?” Wes grits his teeth, narrowing his eyes at you.

Steve looks between you, biting his lower lip. He can’t help it now. He wonders what the hell you’re doing with this jerk. Wonders if he’s more than just an asshole. Especially when he balls his fists, shoulders squared.

“Enjoy your movies,” is all Steve can think to say in an effort to dissolve the tension. He places the videos in a bag and leaves them on the counter.

You take them without looking at him, mumbling a “thanks.” And then you’re disappearing out the door. Wes sizes Steve up a final time before following.

“Dick,” Steve mumbles before going back to his work. But that unease stays with him for the rest of the day, the ghost of your disgruntled, ashen face following him around Hawkins.

***

What was supposed to be an intimate movie night with your boyfriend turned into a house party full of people you despised in high school and still do now. Worse? You had a pregnancy scare this morning. You’re late, and you’d been dreading telling Wes, but you needed him to get the test for you because your dad works in the pharmacy, and he doesn’t know anything about who you date.

The test came back negative, but Wes had been a first-class prick the entire time, starting with the way he’d treated Steve. Blaming you for not forcing him to wear a condom or not taking the pill, and then making accusations you’d done it on purpose to trap him, or else cheated with other people. By the time his friends turned up at seven, you were in tears and he was already half-drunk.

You did your best to pretend everything was fine for the sake of his friends. But the horror movie and the constant, subtle jabs sent your way had been the last straw. You're still recovering from the monsters you’ve fought more than once, and Wes knows you hate horror. He knows. But he doesn’t care. He’s never cared.

So you broke up with him in front of everyone. Snatched his dad’s finest whiskey from his liquor cabinet, and walked out. Problem is, it’s nearly midnight now and you’re walking through Hawkins alone. No one to call. Nowhere to go.

The first headlights you’ve seen in eons beam behind you, lighting up the darkness. You clutch your drink closer to your chest and turn your face away, just in case it’s someone you know. But the car stops. And when you don’t look back, the driver honks. Fuck. You think it’s Wes, but when you turn around, you find a car you just about recognise to be Steve Harrington’s. Sure enough, his big-haired silhouette fills up the driver’s seat. Somehow, that’s even worse.

He rolls down the window. “What are you doing out here on your own?”

“None of your business,” you mutter.

When you attempt to walk away, Steve begins rolling the car to match your pace. “Hey. I can give you a ride. It’s no problem.”

“I don’t need a ride from you.”

He flinches as though it’s a physical blow — but still doesn’t leave you be. “Y/N… what the hell’s going on? Just get in the car.”

“What are you even doing here?” you snap, whipping around to face him. “God, what is it with you? You’re always around when something bad happens! Is it you? Are you cursing me or something?”

His lips part as though surprised, and you only realise then that you probably look like shit, your makeup running and your steps hindered by the whisky. You silently beg that he drives away, because the last thing you need is to breakdown in front of Steve Harrington, the one guy you’ve never been able to get along with. He’s the reason you’re always dragged into monster-hunting and Russian-spying. The reason why you hate horror movies and are scared of the dark.

Finally, he softens, opening the passenger-side door and patting the empty seat. “C’mon. You’re drunk. Let me take you home.”

You scoff, but it quickly turns into a sniffle. “I’m not going home. I can’t go home like this.”

“Okay, then you can take my spare room. My parents aren’t home tonight.”

The shadows close in on you, and you know it’s the only option you have. That, or you’ll be wandering around town for the rest of the night, and that never ends well. It didn’t for Barb or Will Byers, at least.

You slump into his car, shutting the door behind you and trying to ignore his burning gaze. “Fine. Whatever.”

He starts driving, leaving you in the engine-whirring silence. You stare out of the windshield, watching the pines merge into one great big shadow that reminds you too much of Starcourt Mall.

“No boyfriend tonight?” Steve asks finally, carefully.

“No. We broke up.”

“Good. He’s a piece of shit.”

You snort because you know it’s true. “Yeah.”

“He didn’t…hurt you or anything?” Steve’s eyes search you, and you fight the urge to cower away.

“No.”

“So, what was the last straw? His shitty taste in movies?” His lip twitches with the attempt at humour.

“Among other things.” You swig your whisky. “We were just always fighting. That’s all.”

“If Robin was here, she’d be telling you you can do way better.”

You smile softly at that, looking down at the bottle in your lap. “Yeah. They always start off nice, though. Sweet. And then they just… turn.”

“C’mon. You knew Wes was an asshole. Everyone does.”

“Maybe.” Your lip trembles, and you find Steve watching you with something that looks an awful lot like sympathy. You stiffen, an inexplicable wave of sickness washing over you. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity.” He returns his attention to the road, fingers tapping against the steering wheel. “I just don’t get it. You could date anyone you wanted, but you always choose the worst people in the world.”

“That’s not true.”

He tilts his head. “It’s a little true. Tommy H. Sam. Paul.” He winces and feigns a gag when he says, “Brad.”

Brad had been a particularly bad experience, and your lip curls in disgust. You know he’s right. You pick the wrong people. Problem is, it doesn’t usually feel like a choice. Being alone, feeling lonely… it eats you up, so the second someone asks you out, you’re quick to say yes just to ease that hole in your chest. You’re naive. You hope that if you’re good to them, they’ll love you right. But they never do.

“Why’d you do it, Y/N?” Steve asks, voice so soft it makes you want to break. You never talk like this. Not without harsh jabs or barbed banter. It makes you want to tell the truth too much.

You turn your face away as you say, “I guess after all the crazy shit we went through, dating makes me feel normal. Less alone. I guess I’d rather keep getting my heart broken than face monsters and shit.”

Silence passes between you, heavy and thick and humiliating. Your face burns as you wait for the mocking, the scorn, the disbelief. But Steve only says, “I get it. It’s hard being alone after everything we went through. I hate having that big house to myself most nights. It still feels like they’re out there, y’know? Waiting.”

“Yeah.” You pick at the label on your bottle, trying to hide the surprise you feel. Steve always seems so unfazed by what you’ve been through. He just… bounces back like it’s nothing. “Yeah, it does.”

“Did you ever tell Wes?”

You shake your head. “He wouldn’t believe me. I remember… I woke up from a nightmare once, screaming, and he… he told me to shut up ‘cos he had to get up early for work.”

Steve hisses. “Jesus. What a dick.”

You don’t even know why you’re telling him; only that you feel like you can. Should. He’s the only one who gets it. It’s what makes you say, “I’m sorry. For the way he treated you today.”

“No need to apologise. For what it’s worth, it meant a lot that you said something. I wasn’t expecting that.”

You're almost at his house now, the pointed roof breaking through the trees. “Yeah, well, you’re a pain in my ass, Harrington, but you don’t deserve to be mocked. We’re all just trying to get by, right? We’re not in high school anymore.”

Steve pulls up outside his house, the porch lights twinkling in the darkness. But when the engine cuts out, neither of you move. Instead, he unfastens his seatbelt and twists towards you. “You seemed upset today. Were you already fighting, or…?”

You shake your head, unable to put it into words. “A lot happened today.”

“Like what?”

You scrape your hair back, whetting your dry lips. You shouldn’t tell him. You don’t want him to see you this vulnerable. It’s easier when you’re at each other’s throats, pretending that there isn’t a flame guttering between the two of you. But you’re not sure how much longer you can keep everything to yourself. All this pain. “I was late.”

“To Family Video?” he asks innocently.

You almost laugh. “No. My period was late, Steve.”

His eyes widen. “Oh.”

“I thought maybe… I mean, we were being careful, but it’s not always enough. So I needed to take a pregnancy test. Wes lost his shit. Started accusing me of trying to trap him. And then when the test came back negative, he still kept treating me like shit. All fucking day. We were supposed to be having a date night tonight, but he invited a tonne of his friends and got drunk. And he told everyone. He told everyone I thought I was pregnant, and I was trying to trap him, and it probably wasn’t even his because I’m a slut or whatever. You came up, actually. Said since I was defending you so much in the video store, this fictional, non-existent baby could have been yours.” You give a mirthless chuckle, feeling nauseous when Steve frowns. Not with sympathy, but with worry. With anger.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N. I’m… That’s fucked up. God.”

“Good riddance, I guess.” You wipe your damp eyes, faking another smile, but it only makes you break.

“Hey,” Steve whispers, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Fuck him. He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone you can trust. Someone who’ll watch shitty romcoms with you.”

You laugh again at that, this time with humour. “They’re not shitty.”

“You’re right. Michael Douglas is a total hunk.”

“Right?” you agree. “Kinda into Kathleen Turner, too.”

“She’s smoking,” he agrees. And then you’re both laughing. Really laughing. And something is changing here, in this car, because you realise that for all his flaws, you can trust Steve Harrington with anything.

“Hey, I’m pretty sure my mom has a copy of Romancing the Stone somewhere,” he offers. “Still wanna watch it?”

“You don’t have to pretend it’s your mom’s, Steve. If anything, owning that video only makes you way cooler than I thought you were.”

“Okay, fine,” he mumbles. “It’s mine.”

Your heart twinges with a fondness you usually hide from. “It sounds nice. Thank you.”

He pulls his keys from the ignition. Gives you another reassuring smile. “Let’s go.”

So you do, spending the rest of the night on Steve’s couch while you watch your favourite movie. And he doesn’t complain once.

498 notes · View notes

try-set-me-on-fire · 7 months

Note

I do want to know about quilt shop au for the ask game

What if Eddie did leave with Shannon to LA when she wanted to go and they divorced anyway but they’re still friends, what if he started working in his aunt’s fabric store, what if he remembered that he loved to sew when he was younger but was only really allowed to do it under certain circumstances (repairing clothes that wore out or making things they needed around the house or making his sisters’ quinceañera dresses) and wasn’t supposed to just want to do it for fun because he’s a man and men aren’t supposed to like these kinds of things, what if he comes to terms that it really doesn’t matter or make him any less of a man if likes to make pretty things but still can’t quite admit he’s attracted to men because, well, he can be the guy that sews but he’s not going to be the gay guy who sews, what if a hot firefighter comes into the store because he wants to make a quilt for his soon to be born niece and he’s kind of disaster at it but his hearts in the right place, what if Eddie is a very neat and precise sewer and Buck is extremely off the cuff and it drives him a little crazy but maybe is teaching him that he doesn’t need to try so hard to be in control all the time, what if he falls in love, what if Shannon has also been on a journey of self discovery, what if she comes out to him and he laughs and she gets mad but oh no please I’m not laughing at you I’ve just fallen in love with a boy and we were really never going to work out huh, what if what was supposed to be a fun little fic about a hobby I enjoy turns into something kind of melancholy about feeling like you’ve wasted time trying to not be something you are, what if Buck has secretly been making Eddie a quilt and he feels kind of dumb when he gives it to him because Eddie could make something way better and neater himself, but what if no one has ever thought to work so hard on something beautiful just for Eddie, what if making a quilt is a time consuming task of love!! What if they’re in love!!!

Mostly inspired by the fact that i like to make quilts, also partly by this song they were playing a lot for a while on my favorite radio station. After the oh my god we’re both gay??? conversation Eddie is going to be talking about Buck and mentions that he has terrible ironing habits and Shanon is going to be like “??? He doesn’t iron all his seams and you didn’t black out and commit an act of sewing motivated violence??? How good is the dick????” And Eddie is going to be like “what? We’re not actually together yet. Also what why would I do that?” And she’s like “…. Babe. You didn’t stay stitch the neckline on Christopher’s Halloween costume three years ago and I know you still feel guilty about it” and Eddie’s all frowning “it could have warped” and she cracks up “could have. Could have but didnt. And you’re letting this man walk around with improperly pressed quilt blocks? I’m just saying this seems serious…”

#asked and answered #quilt shop au

28 notes · View notes

trust-and-jump · 1 year

Text

FANON batfam things to (dis)like

To like:

Tim Drake taking photos at night - you know what I'm talking about.

Lazarus Pit's influence as some intrusive thoughts.

Jason Todd being literature nerd.

Not mentioning Cassandra Cain's second "adventure" with Lady Shiva, because I love Cass and I'm happy for all the stories it didn't happen.

Not destroying Clocktower.

White streak in Jason Todd's hair (I know, I know, it was in some comics too, but I consider it as fanon thing because— the ones who read comics would probably understand (I hope) what I mean).

Cassandra getting her name even without Barbara Gordon naming her.

Bruce accepting Tim Drake as a son almost immediately.

To dislike:

Bruce accepting Tim Drake as a son almost immediately.

Cassandra Cain having no personality outside of her weird body-reading thing/outside of her being Batfam therapist (which is— just WHY???? She's the worst option for this! I love her but she can't be perfect and she has SO. MANY. PROBLEMS. She deserves better than being that!) Guys she will beat all the criminals up if it means she doesn't have to talk about feelings and all that. Besides, knowing the person's intentions or guessing emotions doesn't mean knowing how to talk through it or how to handle these emotions or how relationships between people 'should' or 'should not' work.

Assuming that she understands everything people say before she learns how to speak.

Not mentioning her problems with reading&writing and thinking she would learn ASL immediately (and MAYBE she would, in some stories, IDK, but I saw only one fic that actually discussed why ASL would be as difficult for her as other languages)

Fucking... autopsy scar. it should not exist.

"Replacement". It's a good thing, actually, I just don't like it.

Shiny Dick. (KDJDISKSOXBXJSKOSSLSS I LAUGHED AFTER I WROTE IT I WON'T CHANGE IT)

Jason slitting Tim's throat at the Titans Tower. I know it would be kinda poetic after THE BATARANG ™ but - no. I remember Jason/Clayface thing with Hush and I accept this canon but all I see at the Titans Tower fight is beating. I'm not even sure Jason wrote the note in blood, because guys, have you ever tried to write big letters with BLOOD? I DID. It's so fcking inconvenient. and takes too much time! and oh my god, even if Jason DID write it in Tim's blood, why slitting his throat? do you have any idea how ridiculously difficult the whole thing is? I think people just kinda confuse Tim-Jason situation at the Titans Tower and Tim-Jason situation with Hush. Because. Slitting throat thing. And they often forget about that Jason/Clayface thing with Hush. I forget it too, sometimes.

Lazarus Pit Madness as a form of mind control or something that excuses everything Jason did. And turning him to a different character.

Impulsive Jason Todd who has no control at all. like with the white streak - I mark it as a Fanon thing despite it being in comics. not because previous reasons but because. because retcon. fuck off. I mean, as Robin he could be, sometimes. But all Robins were like that sometimes. And they all still were professionals. Well. Can vigilantes be professional????? I don't think so but who knows.

Shiny Dick [2]. I won't apologise. (wow I just found out that apologise and apologize are both correct, just British and American variants. Cool!!)

Duke Thomas having half-existence. - would it hurt to actually choose if Duke exists in your story or not? he's an amazing character and it's better not to write him at all if he's a ghost here, my guy.

Weird Tim who worships Jason while getting beat up by him. Did you see how Tim's all sassy while fighting? NOT a deer with big eyes at all. ROBIN. He's Robin!

Not acknowledging what Damian al Ghul or Damian Wayne has been through. I get it, you like Tim and Damian's acting hostile makes you hostile towards him but— seriously?

Woobifying any character while completely changing personality. Dick, Tim and Jason are suffering the most from it. Damian is there sometimes too.

"Jason doesn't try to kill Bruce anymore". He never tried to kill Bruce except this one time in Lost Days where he decided not to do it after all.

Not acknowledging Jason Todd being a hypocrite.

guys do you remember Jason's dead eyes in Lost Days. literally the last glimpse of life in him was when he found out that Joker was alive. It's sad.

___

okay there's a lot more than that but I just can't remember anything else right now. And I'm not going to touch all the fandom's opinions on Bruce Wayne as a parent because it's even more meaningless.

___

sorry for bad English.

#batman fanfiction #batfam fandom #batfamily #batfam #lost days #red hood lost days #fanon #batman fanon #bad english #or should i say #BAT english #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #cassandra cain #cassandra wayne #fanon vs canon #comics panels #dc comic panels

74 notes · View notes

dadbastiandisaster · 1 year

Text

First of all, thank you all so much for the nice reblogs on the Claude Headcanons, post, second of all

✨🌸 Hannah and the Triplets Headcanons 🌸✨

Hannah is the only Demon in the show I imagine as being very old and very powerful. She could kill Sebastian and Claude with both hands tied behind her back and it wouldn’t even be difficult for her. I also think she is a fallen Angel, unlike all the other Kuro Demons who I headcanon as humans who went to Hell

Conversely, the Triplets are all fairly young, only a couple of hundred years old, and especially individually they are fairly weak

I read on someone’s headcanons (possibly @eemoo1o-animoo) that they were one Demon broken into three, which I think is really cool, so I guess my other idea would be that they were a human soul that either as punishment or just be happenstance got broken into three

My personal headcanon is Demons can’t have kids, they just start existing, so the Triplets aren’t technically siblings, they just popped into existence in roughly the same region of Hell and have been together ever since.

Hannah saved their lives in Hell and they will now do pretty much whatever she says. They were also the first of instance of Hannah just being like ‘I’m your mum now deal with it’ (I’m electing to ignore all the weird shit about Hannah’s boobs - remember, Marie Kondo approach to canon)

She didn’t realise that what she felt for Luka was maternal love, and not hunger for his soul, and she does feel sorrow that she killed him. She had mostly taken contracts with less than pleasant humans that she was always more than happy to dispatch, so she’d never really spent much time around children.

She both wants to protect Alois from Claude for Luka’s sake, and because she felt she lost her chance to raise a child in Luka and so she sought out Alois.

She’d definitely try, but I honestly don’t know if Hannah would do a vastly better job than Claude. Other than anything else, since she barely talks to Alois, so she doesn’t really know him all that well, and he is a very different person to Luka

Also she’s approximately a bajillion years old so she definitely has 0 moral compass, even less of one than Claude or Sebastian.

The Triplets sometimes switch their partings around and pretend to be each other to fuck with Claude. Problem is, Claude doesn’t care which is which as long as things get done, so like, nobody’s winning

I think the Triplets do the ridiculous Cockney accents as a joke.

When they speak to others, they have to speak in turn. They will not speak individually. No one knows why.

Unlike sort of Claude and definitely Sebastian, Hannah has no issues reconciling her maternal feelings with her being a Demon. As previously mentioned, she is a bajillion years old and could probably kill people with her mind so she has absolutely nothing to prove. Also she has experienced all the murder and bloodshed one could ever hope to and maternal love is something relatively new to her.

Basically Hannah is mum and she’s a cool lady who can stab things and she is unfathomably old and powerful with no concept of puny human morals

Hannah is she/her and I think the Triplets are of the ‘whatever pronouns make the joke land’ persuasion.

The Triplets will obviously always side with Hannah, especially if it screws over Claude (Claude is a dick to them because he doesn’t want to deal with them and also he makes them do chores) but they really don’t have much in the way of personal stakes in the whole thing so they’re kind of just vibing

The Triplets don’t like Alois, but in an annoying younger brother way. Plus he stabbed Hannah’s eye out, so they have mild beef with him for that. It’s just as well because combined their forces of chaos would simply be too strong.

It would be cool if they were the Demons of threes, or trios. Since 3 is such a significant number, maybe it has a number, and maybe that’s why the human whose soul they were mad from was split?

Much like Claude, they do what Hannah tells them to but they’re not especially house proud.

Sebastian Michaelis, who lives at the Phantomhive manor & cleans 10,000 floors each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Much like Claude, they just do not get why Sebastian puts so much effort in. Frankly, they think it’s weird.

They definitely fuck about when no-one’s looking

Actually entranced by light switches.

Pretended to be repelled by crosses to Alois until Hannah told them to stop.

Tldr: the Trancy Manor is chaos as well

Might make more of these at some point, but rsi is hitting to so here we are. Hope you enjoyed

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #claude faustus #hannah annafellows #black butler 2 #black butler headcanons #kuroshitsuji 2 #black butler season 2 #mey rin would actually think hannah is so hot #the triplets are agents of chaos #the triplets #original post

57 notes · View notes

signalwatch · 8 months

Text

Watched: 09/15/2023

Format: Prime

Viewing: First

Director: Damien Chazelle

So...

I was aware of several things going into Babylon (2022).

It's an original story (of sorts) about the late Silent Era of the film industry and beyond. It's clearly referencing Kenneth Anger's infamous, and not super-accurate, book, Hollywood Babylon, which I have not read, but I did listen to a whole season of You Must Remember this, which covered the subject matter and sought to split fact from legend.

I won't get into the book here, but it's a recounting of possibly/ maybe/ probably-not/ absolutely-not true stories from the era during which the film industry moved to Los Angeles from the East Coast and went kinda bonkers. Sex, death, drugs, mayhem, etc... followed.

If you have a casual interest in Hollywood history, even without specific stories to recall, you could be well aware of this era, of meteoric rises and cataclysmic falls of actors and behind-the-camera talent. It makes today's tabloid stuff look like middle-school melodrama. And, because Hollywood loves a good story, especially one that sounds true, they've been passed down, year after year until Anger codified them in his book. And now we have a nice little package that I remember hearing bits and pieces of in college and whatnot.

Going into the movie, I was also aware that the movie was at least three hours. It was all fictional but referenced the real world of Hollywood from about 1927-1935 or so, and that no one seemed to like the movie all that much. It had a $110+ million budget, and did poorly at the box office.

Having had now seen the movie, it's a three hour movie that is beautifully shot and acted. The design is... interesting.

But it feels so weirdly derivative, the story is delivered by bullet point, and it seems so surprised by things that seem obvious on their face here in the 2020's, that by the film's end - 3 hours later, I have no clue what Chazelle was trying to say or why he wanted to say it.

If this movie is for a broad audience, it feels too specific in what it's covering while filling in no details to give them the full picture of the era while also taking a very, very long time to get to the point with his storylines, while still not making you ever care about the characters.

If this movie is for film history buffs, someone with my cursory knowledge is clearly going to wind up with so many questions, their hand will involuntarily raise repeatedly throughout the film.

Historically and Biblically, Babylon was a city portrayed to be one of wonders and great sin, that punished the faithful, and celebrated what Judeo-Christian ethos found immoral. So, you know, we're very much setting the stage for what we're about to see.

My thesis by the film's end was that Chazelle watched Singin' In the Rain and had the same passing thought anyone who has seen the movie three times will have: that Lina Lamont got fucked and the leads are maybe totally dicks. Ie: this entire movie is kind of a violent response to an American classic and reconsideration of that film's entire arc. Which is... a thing one can do. But if you're going to not just show a better movie during your movie (a Signal Watch Cinema Sin) but confront that movie, you better not miss.

I'm not mad at the movie, and if I were a young movie fan, I would hope this movie would at least spark some curiosity about Hollywood history and the first third-of-a-century of movie making. It's a tough era to access in some ways as the movies themselves were largely lost due to the film-stock of the era and the lack of regard for preservation and vaults of film.* Not to mention that cinema language, use of cinema and cultural cues have all changed drastically since the era, it can take some concentration and work. But knowing who the people were behind those images can certainly help. And this film borrows enough from real stories and fictional ones that it's as good a place to start as any.

The movie wants to be a sprawling, multi-year epic. The type which tends to get the attention of critics, a la Boogie Nights. And much like Anderson's film - or maybe a bit like an Altman picture - it hops around a large cast of characters all working in a similar industry and gives you a peak into their lives and hopes and dreams, and how that plays out over the years.

There are individual scenes and sequences that are going to stick with me, many of them quite good. As a whole, though, that same attempt at an epic means holding any one thought to pull toward the center becomes increasingly muddied.

SPOILERS

Arguably, the lead is Margot Robbie, and as of this writing, I have almost exclusively good things to say about Robbie as a performer. Unfortunately, she's saddled with "the girl you know is going to die young off screen from the minute she shows up" thing that is the flipside to the Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. She has all the trappings of this stock character, from the grim back story and home life to the coke habit and preternatural acting talent. And she's our Lina Lamont, which you'll start putting together the minute she opens her mouth with her Brooklyn accent.

Pitt plays the silent movie star who understands the need for novelty and change, and seems to be reaching for authenticity, which is something he can do in the silent pictures, but once audio is rolled out, you know as an actor over 25 in this movie, he isn't going to survive. And, by the movie's mid-point, you're pretty sure he'll kill himself one way or another. He does. Pitt nails the character, including the bits of bad acting he has to do in character. But he's saddled with such a weirdly predictable curve, it would have been a novelty only if he'd lived happily ever after.

Diego Calva plays a young Hispanic guy living in the shadow of LA's casual racism who moves from odd-jobs for movie producers to a producer/ executive himself, but who - somewhat inexplicably - is supposed to be in love with the train wreck that is Robbie's character he met, like, twice before the movie's midpoint. It's almost grating watching the character, who is admirably played, but whose arc is so thankless, you may be waiting for his scenes to end just so we don't have to see these writing choices play out for the 10,000th time.

My theory about the nearly detached Jovan Adepo storyline, of a Black jazz musician who briefly becomes a star as pictures need sound, is that Chazelle became aware of the warranted criticism of his history of jazz as portrayed in La La Land, and inserted a sidecar storyline where he decided to make good or demonstrate he did so know about Black people doing jazz. But then he really didn't have any ideas for it. Adepo's character barely interacts with the rest of the cast, and he has maybe 10 spoken lines in the whole film. What could have been a centerpiece and novel to many demographics about the Black experience in Hollywood of the era is unsurprisingly ham-handed even as Adepo is perfect delivering his ten lines and doing everything else via minute expression.

There's multiple other characters and storylines to keep up with. Eric Roberts plays Robbie's ne'er-do-well father, Lukas Haas is Pitt's pal and his depressive producer (who you know is going to off himself at the 2/3rds mark, and he hits it like clockwork), the lovely and super-talented Jean Smart is given the off-the-shelf role of the gossip writer that is so enshrined in moviedom, we had this character in Batman and Robin. Flea appears as a volatile movie producer. The fetching Li Jun Li plays essentially Anna May Wong. Tobey Maguire plays the creepy guy who always shows up in the back part of these movies as the characters are having their lowest moments.

And, sure, I'm missing a dozen more.

The movie is currently streaming for free on Prime, and my recommendation is to watch the first 30 minutes, which occur entirely before the titles. Taking place at what we're to understand is a large but not particularly notable fiesta, it's a literal orgy of sex, drugs and jazz, complete with an elephant and accidental near-murder. It's kind of a big joke to stun the audience when the titles hit - you've already borne witness to a hundred different sins, characters, plotlines and ideas - a firehose of opulence, rapaciousness, and overindulgence - both in what's on screen and how it's directed. The camera won't stop moving, the music pounds (Jamie was woken up twice by the soundtrack's thumping), and most of the characters are at an 11.

A bit like La La Land, I'm not sure you ever really top the first scene here. It really had me set thinking "well, maybe people were wrong about the film", because for the first thirty minutes, I was in, even if I was concerned we were getting 3 hours of movie working at this pace (we do not).

Not to sound like too much of a creep, but it's also a very wide-screen take on all of this, not least of which is orgiastic activities, which are never quite the focus of a shot. I think I get why Chazelle chose this - show it in the periphery as a fact-of-life - but it almost feels like Chazelle isn't quite confident in his own thesis after getting all of these people to show up and be naked. Or else the MPAA lost their minds at a movie that actually shows boobs and some dick in 2023.

If you want to stick with it, I'd include everything up through maybe the first hour as keeping me invested as we move onto a day in the life of a silent-era studio with appropriately pitch-black humor, everyone doing their best, movies all being shot side-by-side, surprises and discoveries and the alchemy of winging-it film making. And, of course, an insane German director.

It's a stunning recreation of a period when Hollywood would both film light comedies alongside westerns (no sound issues to worry about) and would, in fact, hire casts of thousands to fill gigantic sets. And everyone was treated a bit like cattle.

youtube

The thing is - Hollywood is full of very real stories and well-known legends that are bleaker, funnier, and at least as dark as everything Chazelle puts on screen. He references some of those things, borrows from others (Clara Bow famously partied routinely with the USC football team, etc...). There are well-documented trials that spun out of some actors lives, stories of weird deaths and suicides. It's all available for a willing writer/ director.

So... I guess an amalgamation lets them kind of do whatever they want? So why land of the completely obvious?

As sound comes in, though, we get the too-tempting fruit of showing the first attempts at sound recording and "boy, figuring this out was hard", which is true. But it was also something they figured out with wildly impressive velocity - necessity became the mother of invention. And it's already covered in detail in the movie this movie hopes you've already seen in Singin' In the Rain. So it can feel redundant. Which kind of begs - who is the movie for?

The movie specifically recreates elements from Singin' In the Rain movie, implying that the 1950's film is, in fact, referencing the characters in our parallel universe here. Funnily enough, Babylon does loop back to the 1920's studio produced, all-star Singin' in the Rain "we've got sound" promotion done at the time that Singin' in the Rain's title was referencing (but which isn't in that movie).

youtube

(became aware of this years ago in a Joan Crawford doc)

And, fair enough. Like I said earlier - Singin' In the Rain does make fun of people who lost careers to unshakeable regional accents and who lost their way in the transition. Even in my film school reading in the 1990's, this period was eyed with a sort of retroactive disgust. And, I agree, it was a tragedy in it's way.**

To extend this thought, the conclusion of the film is how we go through transition after transition, Hollywood shedding people as it goes along.

Just recently, Peacock's excellent Poker Face paid tribute to the great FX maestro and stop-motion animator Phil Tippet, who essentially became a dinosaur himself overnight as Jurassic Park introduced the world to CG dinosaurs.*** Babylon is a movie, in many ways, about the casualties of technological innovation and the greed for novelty by movie audiences.

But it's also a movie that wants to be about how movies became respectable alongside sound, and the impact there. However the presentation of that idea is not.. great. Nor is any explanation given as to how or why this was suddenly happening - you kind of have to just realize rich people were moving west at the time and mixing with low-brow actors in Los Angeles. But the weird malevolency feels like Mean Girls more than anything honest about adults.

Further, the career-ender for our one Black character is a justifiable moment of fury cribbed from real issues cropping up as Southern exhibitors let it be known they wouldn't show things like "mixed race" bands performing - something that wound up impacting what one would take as a general impression of how race worked in other parts of the US at the time. But, yeah, they ask a Black character to do Blackface to better fit the way more dark-skinned members of the band appear.

Maybe it's my 4K TV's color settings are inadequate or something, but the actor wasn't particularly light-skinned, nor the other actors particularly dark-skinned. Nor was lighting or other ideas trotted out before someone reached for fucking shoe polish. And, fair enough, horrific and painful sequence. But there's no follow up, really. We see the musician has gone back to just performing for audiences - he never says anything. It's... a very strange lack of giving the character a voice of his own.

There's suggestion that the morals squads have begun to crack down on Hollywood, but no filling in the blanks as to why - which is a rich tapestry of reasons, really. 90% of which was political posturing bullshit and campaigning for boring cultural hegemonization. But at the same time, this movement is impacting our lead characters and in part why the worst part of the party scene shown at the beginning goes underground and metastasizes into something infinitely darker (I have no clue if this is based on anything, but it's wacky!).

Things I don't entirely understand include

why Chazelle seems averse to the actual wardrobe and hairstyles of the period. It's not just Robbie's hair, make-up and wardrobe. Almost all of the women in the film look like they stepped out of a club in 2022, except for Jean Smart. And I don't know why - if you're making this movie, you decide to *not* embrace flapper chic, the up-do's and headbands of the era. I mean, if he thought "well, this could take place NOW", well... every other detail is pretty period specific, so it's just confusing.

Or why his few clips shown of what is supposedly filmed for the movies being made bear minimal resemblance to the actual films of the era, which never saw a camera not in plane to the horizontal surface except in wide shots or establishing shots.

similarly, the soundtrack never feels remotely like that of the era, which I assume is part of point 1's "could be anytime" thing. Still, the soundtrack is pretty solid! But you're gonna hear the same refrains over three hours, and that's... a lot.

And it gets in the way of whatever points he's trying to make.

If the movie has a scene where I think everything just absolutely fails, that may be the epitome of the film, it's the final meeting of Jean Smart's gossip columnist and Brad Pitt, who is realizing he's on his way out, his career past faltering to wrapping up. He's no longer Hollywood's A-List leading man, and he'll be in supporting roles to give clout to movies that aren't going to be good and need his stilted gravitas. And then..?

Somehow I guess Pitt just enters Smart's house? (okay) And then confronts her about the front page article she's placed about how he's washed up.

Smart has demonstrated for decades that she's truly one of the greats. She's had a late-career renaissance that must drive her contemporaries insane, turning in amazing performances one after another. Here, she's given what is supposed to be a profound speech about how they're just part of a continuum of people in their jobs and roles. And how this will go on forever, but it's okay, because Pitt will be immortalized on celluloid.

Chazelle has an idea that this is matter-of-fact, shown in the most pedestrian way possible.

The speech is widely open for debate. It's shot like a scene in a TV hour-long drama while having absolutely nothing you haven't heard anywhere before, from Sunset Boulevard to name-your-movie-about-the-movie-industry. And I can't figure out if he thought the idea was boring and hollow, or if he thought this was somehow profound and muffed it.

Either way, it's a crucial moment for Pitt's character, and the movie does want to sell the idea that people want to be part of something bigger, and that's why they're in Hollywood. So the notion that being part of something bigger also means the show goes on without you is quite the blow - nor does Smart's speech necessarily make that connection, that's up to us.

I'm not sure Chazelle sticks the landing of the "and therefore..." bit of it as the film accelerates into the inevitable tragic conclusions for each character. I want to know how many times Smart's character has given this speech. I want to know if she's exhausted by it. I want her to say who came before and who will come next. I want it to feel like it matters and isn't an obligatory part of the film, a check-box in a film about Hollywood history where the audience knows what's coming for everyone, and we're working with that ironic tension.

I hope this isn't just a "here's what I would have done" moment. Smart is so good, she papers over the inadequacy of the scene, just as Pitt's character is a hired gun to paper over scenes in his mediocre films. But, nonetheless, the scene ended, and I was like... so, that's it?

And then braced myself for the wholly perfunctory ending.

Look, the movie ends on a montage meant to say something about the continual change in motion pictures, and, as always, point back to the start in those silent pictures and say "wasn't this pure? Look what we had!" but we all know that's some hand-wavy stuff. Or maybe it's a warning to all of Hollywood that they're the dinosaurs even now. Anyway, yeah, time and technology move on.

But landing those ideas is a complicated thing. And wrapping them in the package of some boring characters and celebrating excess (and let's not pretend Hollywood ever really stopped. I've seen The Oscars.) buries your thesis, making it's delivery the same bullet-point concept as you made everything else.

I opened by saying I don't know what Chazelle was trying to say or why he wanted to say it. I can point to what I've pointed to about specific ideas, but very little of it is novel or a new take. It feels processed through prior films touching on specific ideas on the same material, and pieces borrowed from here and there. But if he has something illuminating to say about any of it that was his own thought rather than echoing back current film-buff consensus, I didn't find it. And if he's borrowing from other films and reflecting back what I've been told, I'm hard-pressed to not just spend time drawing comparisons and asking questions. In the end, I was waiting for some unifying argument or novel concept, and it just never arrived.

Like I say, I actually liked many parts of the film. I like that Chazelle swung for the fences. I think everyone in the movie turned in sterling performances. But in the end, this thing just got away from them. And at 3 hours, I am not rewatching any time soon to see how wrong I was.

In some ways, this movie seems like it would have been a tremendous 10-episode thing on Prime. All the things the movie can't make time for, building up characters into three-dimensional beings instead of outlines. Giving the audience a chance to get invested and feel some sense of actual pathos when anything occurs instead of "oh, ok. Check that off, I guess.". But Chazelle is making movies, and that's television. And if we're not going to change to meet the new format, we might just get steamrolled.

*for more on the path and history of the actual film reels of the silent era and what happened, I recommend viewing Dawson City: Frozen Time

**here's a fun thought experiment: what if Hollywood had embraced the Brooklyn accent? Given that we all now sound weirdly region-free in the US - based more on accents from television and movies than our own parents, would we all be speaking with some version of Brooklynese?

***ironically, the shot from JP used to illustrate this point was of a puppet dinosaurs

#babylon #movies #movie review #golden age hollywood #Youtube

2 notes · View notes

lizardrosen · 9 months

Text

Hamlet Liveblog 2011, Act 3 Scene 1

Going through my notebook from twelve years ago with my line by line reading of hamlet, and sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly! I'm just doing scene one for this post because the nunnery scene and the Murder of Gonzago are both long enough and important enough that they should each get their own spotlight!

3.1.8-10 "but with a crafty madness keeps aloof when we would bring him on to some confession of his true state" - but he did make a confession! that whole passage where he goes "man delights not me" and talks about how everything has lost flavor for him

If Claudius already knows that Hamlet is faking (most of) his madness, why does he need R&G at all? Since Hamlet (might be) merely pretending to be crazy, we must take into account that he wasn't entirely sincere when talking to R&G. But some of the things make too much sense for him to not be feeling it to some extent. Or he's really really calculating and knows exactly what to say. Is that a kind of madness?

3.1.30-1 "That he, as twere by accident, may here affront Ophelia" - does Ophelia know about this plan? By now she's probably used to being another prop in Polonius's plans. And then he dies and she is left adrift and freer than ever before

3.1.38-40 "I do wish that your good beauties be the happy cause of Hamlet's wildness" - Gertrude is sympathetic to having a controlling male figure - and they've both had two!

3.1.56-88 (To Be Or Not To Be) Oh God, here it comes! The bit everyone waits for and secretly fears!!

3.1.62-3 "the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to" - it's part of living, Hamlet, and yes it hurts, but life in a box is better than no life at all

3.1.63-4 "Tis a consummation / Devoutly to be wished" - he fervently wants to end it all (primary meaning); BUT - consummation is the sex to seal a marriage, and 'devoutly' is religious, so he sorta becomes a High Priestess of Death; also, is this where he gets the idea of a nunnery? current Will: oh my god. hamlet the high priestess of death. this was definitely a stretch for the meaning of this specific sentence, but it's also pretty true to his character. I'm laughing so hard.

3.1.67 "When we have shuffled off this mortal coil" - slow and plodding, like a breadline or a movie premiere, where everyone is looking forward to the end

3.1.89-90 "Nymph, in thy orisons / Be all my sins remembered" - compare to Othello, who told Desdemona to confess her sins before he killed her; but why does he mention his sins instead of hers? because he knows he's going to be a dick?

3.1.96 "I never gave you aught" - denies ever loving her? he's a different person than the one who gave the favors? She didn't acknowledge it, so why should he? if the emphasis is on "you," he means that she has changed, or he's talking directly to Claudius and Polonius. Also, switched from 'thy orisons' to the formal 'you' :(

3.1.101 "for to the noble mind rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind" - He fears she doesn't love him anymore, and she wants to spare his feelings by returning the favors as gently as possible. Or he is the original giver and has been unkind and frightening to her current Will: I wasn't thinking of this at the time, but it's worth pointing out that this phrasing sounds like the kind of advice Polonius would give his kids

3.1.107-8 "Your honesty should admit no discourse to your beauty" - again with the idea that pretty girls don't stay virgins

3.1.116-117 "You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not." - Hamlet makes virtue into a disease, which horny noblemen "cure" current Will: honestly I'm still a little confused by this line but i'm pretty sure this interpretation was wrong

3.1.119 "Get thee to a nunnery - why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners?" - How serious is he? Does he really believe the world would be better off without men; or that a nunnery is safer for Ophelia, body and soul? Maybe he's mocking her and telling her to go to a brothel; Also, notice the return to 'thou' - is this genuine affection or the disrespect of talking to someone much lower than him?

3.1.121 "I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me" - self-loathing for things he's done or said or thought; if he hadn't been born he wouldn't be tormented by his uncle/father/mother now; also R&G wouldn't end up executed silly version - if his mother weren't so pretty, he wouldn't want to bang her and if he weren't 'born of woman' he could kill Macbeth and have great king-killing practice current Will: I think the bit about hamlet's ~oedipus complex~ was tongue in cheek, especially since I started by saying "silly version" but I also know that for a while I did buy into that theory and it colored some of my interpretations. I'd like to publicly renounce that now.

3.1.125 "We are arrant knaves all" - this is where he realizes that he's being watched, and shortly after asks "Where's your father?" Also, Hamlet calls Claudius an arrant knave in Act One

3.1.128-9 "Then let the doors be shut on him, that he may play the fool nowhere but in's own house" - he doesn't want Polonius to jump to conclusions but since he is there watching him, Hamlet will take advantage of it

3.1.133-5 "or if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool, for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them" - cuckolds! current Will: yes, past self, you're very smart

3.1.152 "Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh" - she recogizes the sweetness they once shared, but it's just not there anymore; compare to Hamlet's "the time is out of joint" (1.5.189) headcanon: Ophelia took clarinet lessons when she was ten

3.1.159-9 "There's something in his soul / O'er which his melancholy sits on brood" - Claudius can tell Hamlet's sadness is exaggerated to cover up something else, but he doesn't know it's vengeance

3.1.167 "shall expel this something-settled matter in his heart" - perfect description of Hamlet and his indecision and desperation 3.1.168 "whereon his brain still beating" - makes his brain a muscle that does actual physical work

3.1.172-4 "How now, Ophelia! You need not tell us what Lord Hamlet said; we heard it all" - Polonius honestly cares for his daughter but isn't very good at showing it current Will: this was a generous reading of Polonius, because this line can definitely be said dismissively or impatiently, but i've also seen productions where he drops everything to comfort Ophelia and is only half-listening to Claudius

3.1.176-7 "Let his queen mother all alone entreat him to show his grief" - why does Polonius insist on torturing this poor boy? It's no wonder he loses it. Is he even still paranoid if people really are out to get him?

#hamlet liveblog 2011 #hamlet #claudius #ophelia #my writing #not quite liveblogging my life

3 notes · View notes

fonulyn · 1 year

Note

1, 3, and 18.

I can't imagine what your answers will be for the first 2 :P

1. if you could save one character from their demise (consequences to the plot be damned) who would it be?

lmao this is cheating you know the answer :'D everyone who's followed me for more than two minutes knows the answer. there's no other option! this is just. obviously it's Piers. he deserved so much better. I'd save him in a heartbeat, everyone else be damned.

3. any characters you feel were done absolutely DIRTY by capcom? are they victims of wasted potential or character assassination or what?

Piers. first and foremost. there was no fucking reason to kill him. assholes. urghhhh. wasted everything. i will go to my grave bitter about this. i can't even elaborate any more because I'm already upset thinking about it. they friggin' had alternate endings in the first damn game, they could've at least given us the option to save him. even if it would've been the "non-canonical" ending. pffth.

Jake. he is such a good character. he's fun and witty, and although he's also a bit of a dick he has a giant heart. not to mention how he's already tied to the franchise like... there would be so much to explore with how he's Wesker's son and how he struggles with that, how he doesn't want to be defined by his father but how it also obviously affects him, and how he has such conflicting feelings about it. it would've been so interesting. they could've made him work with Chris (and Jill, tbh), which would've been even more interesting considering what happened with Wesker in the past. and they wasted all of that. for what??? i'm so mad :'D

also Sherry, tbh, to a degree. I would've loved to see more of her, after we got her back in re6. she's a compelling, interesting character, also with ties to the original early games.

also Sheva and Jill. Sheva was only an one-off character but there's no reason they couldn't have brought her back. and what's up with Jill just disappearing off the face of the earth after re5???

ALSO Krauser. the dynamic between him and Leon, the way he was cast aside and struggled and went from a good guy to a villain? I would've loved to get more of that. i keep saying this but why can't they make more Revelations-games, to give us all those good stories from between the main games??? PLEASE CAPCOMMMM.

18. favorite quotes?

oh my gosh we're gonna be here all day... there are so many. I could list like, every single thing Leon says in RE4 :'D and in RE6... and a lot of what he says in Damnation or Vendetta lmao. but I'm gonna try to limit myself.

from Leon, my serious faves are

the speech he makes outside Kendo's, most notably the: “I want to find out what’s happening here. And stop whoever’s behind it. Helping people like them, that’s why I joined the force.”

the talk with Jason in ID, especially: "You cannot save a country if you don't give a damn about the people in it!" and "There were people alive in there. There were families alive in there. And they didn't even try to get them out. So, tough call my ass!"

in RE6, as small as it is, the "We're making the time."

those all speak of his character so much and I wanna weeeeeeep.

the funny faves are, among others, "Chew on that, you overgrown son of a bitch!" and "Where's everyone going? Bingo?" and "I don't ever remember being a part of your crappy script." and "Your right hand comes off?" and "There was no one at the controls. Zombie express." like. classics :'D

I also love how he tells Jake "Welcome to the club. You get used to it."

(this is more a translation thing but I love how when he says in Vendetta that "Careful you don't scare the locals. Your stealth's for shit." it's translated into finnish basically as "Careful you don't scare the locals. You sneak like hippos." :'D aside from that, almost everything Leon says at the bar in Vendetta makes me want to cry)

and from OTHERS, I love when Piers goes "Nobody's expendable." he is so good. also it always makes me laugh when he says "I'm the best driver the BSAA got!" because I certainly am not and I keep driving him into the walls. "I'M THE BEST DRIVER //crashes into a wall" :'D

oh oh oh and Piers and Jake in the elevator things??? "Jesus Christ, do you ever shut up? What, are you trying to piss me off?" "I don't trust you, and I don't like you." like. babies :'D

i also love when Jake goes "You better put a leash on that puppy." but I love even more when he speaks of his father and how it now makes sense how messed up he is, and Sherry goes "You can blame your father all you want, but at some point, you need to take responsibility for your own actions." like tell him girl!

...i'm sure i'm forgetting like a million things and I am so so sorry for how rambly this got :'D

for the RE ask game!

#meme thingy #re meme thingy #attackpoodle #ask and i shall answer #long post #lmao it turned out a bit rambly when do i ever shut up :'D #i have so much love in my heart for these characters

8 notes · View notes

silkiemae · 2 years

Text

City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare My rating: 3 of 5 stars Yet another re-read review. Honestly, my reviews on the Shadowhunters series have mainly just been word vomit and all my random thoughts while reading and I’m just going to keep with that trend. We start the book from Simon’s POV—honestly, this book felt more like Simon’s book than anyone else’s, I felt like he had the largest part in the story where Clary and Jace were just doing their typical angsty pining while Jace gets haunted by a demon. What else is new? Simon is likeable at times but a lot of the time I just don’t really care about him. I will never like the whiny friend who’s mad that his female friend doesn’t want to date him. I was sick of him through all of books 1 & 2 and then he got better in 3. Now at 4, I hate him again. He’s two-timing both Maia and Isabelle and I don’t think he even feels bad about it. He seems more worried about making sure they don’t find out about each other and he’s even got Clary in on it. And her advice on the matter is so terrible, but I’m not at all surprised because she has no social graces whatsoever. ‘Figure out what’s going on with you and Isabelle then tell her.’ Uh…no, tell her that Maia kissed you so that a) you don’t get your ass beat when Isabelle finds out on her own, because she WILL find out and b) you can be a DECENT person and stop fooling around. Also, Clary only gets mad Simon hasn’t told them because she doesn’t want his drama at her mom’s wedding. So she threatens to tell them if he doesn’t. Like…you should’ve told him to tell them in the first place. It’s because of your bad advice he’s in the mess in the first place. Camille Belcourt shows up with Archer and Walker to ask Simon to join her squad so that she can face down Raphael. Which is honestly hilarious to me because I don’t picture Raphael as intimidating in the slightest. Especially not after TRSOM. I just picture him sadly texting Ragnor Fell and getting no response. I picture him being a little dick to Alec but secretly wanting to be friends. I really don’t see why Camille would need Simon to defeat him, she’s terrifying enough on her own. Clary and Jace are whining and pining as usual. I’m so over them and their whole relationship. I wish Jace would have stayed dead honestly. That’s one of my least favorite tropes is when the love interest dies and then gets brought back to life. It’s not as bad in this case because at least it wasn’t like a noble sacrifice on Jace’s part only to be rendered meaningless by his resurrection. Hey, anyone remember the Shadowhunter tv series and how when Jia Penhallow learned that Clary brought Jace back with Raziel’s wish she sentenced her to DEATH?! God that show was literal trash. How was Clary supposed to know about your stupid Shadowhunter rules when she was not raised among you? So, Jia just is like too bad you must DIE. (Then literally posthumously pardons her…) I think it’s so stupid they didn’t just tell the Clave what they did with the wish. It would’ve prevented this whole trilogy honestly. All they had to do was tell the truth and they could’ve put the protection spells back on Jace and none of this would have happened. Lilith would not have been able to possess Jace and Sebastian would not have been resurrected. But then CC wouldn’t have been able to write her next like….7 books because they all stem from this plot. *sigh* Vampires can hypnotize people apparently? I don’t remember that being a thing before, tbh but okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Can we talk about how when Jace dreams about Clary, she’s dressed in a skimpy outfit? He even mentions that Clary doesn’t normally dress like this so why is she now? Just for the purposes of his sexy dream? Literally so stupid. Simon’s having a rough time rn. He’s a vampire who was a vegetarian and is having a whole moral dilemma about drinking blood. Which, in my opinion, is stupid. Just drink human blood ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ problem solved. People literally suck and we were told in Clockwork Princess that it’s not against the Law for vampires to feed from humans because it doesn’t hurt them. (I know it was mentioned in TMI that they can’t feed off humans but like…if it doesn’t hurt them why change the rule? You also can’t just like change your lore like that in the middle of your book series, CC. This continues to happen again and again.) Anywho, because Simon is being a whiny baby and doesn’t want to drink blood he’s in pain and suffering all the time which would be cured if he just…drank blood. But no, he has to wait until he attacks a literal child. Okay, I got actually mad during the scene in the park when Jace suggested Clary would make out with all her instructors and her immediate response was ‘don’t be sexist, what if my instructor was a girl’ and then his was ‘then I give you permission to make out with her as long as I can watch.’ I know this is just meant to be cutesy banter between the two of them but uh…this is so problematic. Like, ah yes, Jace will allow his girlfriend to make out with an adult woman(because the tutor is going to be an adult) as long as he can watch because lesbian kissing for male pleasure is so hot. I hated this. And now I hate Jace even more. So….Shadowhunters have super strength now? Since when has a Shadowhunter had the ability to punch a hole through a wall? Also, Jace is teaching Clary how to do hand-to-hand combat, which is fine and well but….most of CC’s demons are like weird gelatinous creatures with insect parts and all I can picture is Clary going to punch one and then getting absorbed in their jelly. Clary thinks the Seelie Queen likes Jace because Jace is pretty but the Queen doesn’t like her….is this Clary trying to say she’s ugly because we know that’s not true since everyone and their mom thirsts after her. This is a self-insert fantasy after all. I hate when authors try and call their FMC’s ugly but then everyone is in love with them because of how beautiful they are. Like shut UP you’re not fooling anyone. I also hate it when characters who have seemingly no knowledge of the MCs just start giving relationship advice??? Like the Seelie Queen is just sitting there asking Clary all these questions about Jace and like whyyyyyy??? What does their relationship have to do with anything? Is it just the Queen messing with them? Which is fine but I just think I really hate Jace and Clary lmao. Lots of head-hopping going around in this book. Also since when is a shadowhunter marrying a non-shadowhunter unprecedented? What about Will and Tessa? It’s weird to me that faeries smell like dead flowers when so much of their power comes from nature. Why wouldn’t they smell like a bouquet of wildflowers or something? Lol. I wish she would’ve said copper instead of metal for the vampires’ smell since it’s always compared to the taste of blood anyway. Oh my god, I finally got my answer about whether werewolves can have werewolf babies. And they CAN. What does that mean for Jocelyn and Luke tho? Can they have a baby? Will it be a werewolf or a shadow hunter or both? Simons’ new bodyguard also happens to be the werewolf who changed Maia—he also happens to be her ex-boyfriend and when she first tells us about him in COA, she compares him to her brother who was a literal sociopath. But then they get back together….which I really, really hate. I feel like that’s so problematic on so many levels. I don’t care how apologetic he was. He traumatized her so much she ran away from home and upended her whole life. You cannot make me believe that she’s just going to forgive him that easily. The miscommunication between Jace and Clary is so exhausting. Honestly, so many things in these books could be solved if people would just TALK to one another. If Clary had only told the truth about her wish, Jace would never be in this situation. If Jace only told Clary the truth about his nightmares, they maybe could’ve got some help for it before he got possessed by a literal demon. Instead, he just avoids her and expects her to guess what he’s doing. And when she gets mad at him for it, rightfully so, he ends up just making out with her in a super extra way. Like, ya’ll need some serious therapy. So glad that when Simon finally gets caught for two-timing Maia and Isabelle they band together to yell at him. Love me some girl power. So Maureen turns into a demon child vampire which will be fun later I suppose. And it turns out Camille is working for Lilith, Mother of Demons who wants to bring Sebastian back from the dead as a consequence for Clary bringing Jace back. (I told ya’ll she should’ve just left him dead. Now all this drama is about to happen.) Lilith takes like literally an hour explaining her whole evil plan. It legit takes up like three chapters of the book and therefore she gives everyone plenty of time to think of a way out of the situation and eventually she explodes into salt and shhhiii. My question is why was everyone so worried about Simon dying? Like sure he can hurt himself but I’m pretty sure the Mark of Cain protects against suicide as well. Like his curse was to walk the earth alone forever and no matter what he tried he couldn’t be killed. Like that was part of the curse was even killing himself couldn’t free him. So…Simon legit would’ve been fine. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Okay, so I refrained from speaking about Magnus and Alec until the end because I’m so annoyed about it all. I know this was written before TRSOM but it’s so jarring to go from that to this and have Alec be like resigned yet accepting that there are things about Magnus he may never know to being super biphobic and jealous anytime anyone speaks to him. Strong dislike. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . Anywho, this book was meh, nothing special honestly. I’m more excited for the next two because I know it’s extra dramatic lmao. View all my reviews

#city of fallen angels #cassandra clare #shadowhunters #book review #the mortal instruments

0 notes

batsforbadones · 2 years

Note

Hi!!! Omg your writing is amazing and I absolutely adore how you write Herbert West so I was wondering if you could write a head canon about how he would react to his girlfriend telling him she’s a virgin? Like would he get mad obsessed over it because he’s got a bit of creepy gremlin brain with his possessiveness. Especially cause it’ll make him feel better and more in control even though like cmon he’s def a virgin too lol that god complex really do be making me feel some type of way 😂

Thank you so much!! ofc i can when a character with a terrible moral compass has a god complex it really does just make them more- yummy?? you get it you get it. Content : Implied Vagina but not -- strict vagina ( the reader bleeds on his dick, but that can also be construed as being anally unprepared, whichever you prefer. )

-You mention it in passing. Maybe a small, alarmed response to something he says. It's such a miniscule moment you don't even think about it for another minute, but Herbert? -Weeks go by and he can't stop recalling the words. He's absolutely taken a back by it, and he just can't grasp why. -Contrary to popular belief, I think Herbert West is the kind of virgin to purchase services and move on with his life, because he definitely wasn't coming about the act organically. He probably found the act of losing his virginity tedious. A small curiosity he wanted to fulfill, and the reverb was dull and uneventful. I think he would've treated the act like a chore. Similarly with relieving himself. The extremes he has to go to to actually become erect from a mental stand point? Not worth the 5 seconds- maybe 6 seconds if his addict muscles are gracious- of orgasm high. -It's unentertaining to him. Not worth the build up- He didn't even remember the woman's name, but the fifteen minutes he spent fingering her to get her wet were very boring for him. -And yet he is absolutely paralyzed when you say those words. Not physically. He continues moving, probably chuckles and shoves some "It doesn’t really matter." kind of comment your way- Degrading, in part. Maybe a little too playful- -But he cannot recall anything else from that day. He didn't remember getting into bed that night, or the apparent discovery you made involving rodent somatic cells- -Virgin. You? You're a virgin. It made sense. It did- -Why was he paling at the thought of taking it? That was his job, right? Job. It wasn't a chore you- weren't a chore. Why was he excited? Why was he mortified? He'd- Well, he'd had sex. He recalled that vividly, but the way you said the word... -Virgin. -There was a lot of weight, there, wasn't there? Was he imagining things? -When he decides to take it, because of course he does (It was his job, he decided.), it’s not a previously discussed topic between the two of you. -Herbert getting ‘excited’ in the lab is common place. It’s a loud shout, you throwing yourself onto him in a bit of a rush, and- -Oop, is that a syringe in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -It couldn’t’ve been more than two, three days after you made the initial comment, and yet here you were, splayed out before Herbert West on a gurney, and he is ravenous. -He’s not saying much, but he has never fucked like this in his life. Sweat is tumbling down his face, splattering onto your stomach, your calves held between his gloved hands. He can’t keep his eyes off of your sex, wrapping around him. -Theres a little bit of blood pooling at the base of his cock. The remnants wrapping around his dick. -”Do-Doctor West- I-I-!” God you’re going to make him seize. The tears in your eyes, you’re struggling to breathe- Your eyes are rolling back-- -Herbert West ends the night by pulling you off of the medical examination table, and forcing you to stand with the little assistance he can offer. His cum is thick on your thighs, and there’s this weird look on his face. He’s glowing almost... -With pride, that is.

#herbert west x reader #herbert west headcanons #slasher fic #slasher x reader #slasher x s/o #slasher x you

130 notes · View notes

tendouluvr · 3 years

Text

not telling them you’re pregnant [2] - f!reader

- little angst, hurt/comfort??, fluff

- characters: iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama

- warnings: pregnancy, cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, some cursing, mentions of sex, “mad” iwa makes out with your neck, atsumu pretends to faint and reader jokes about him dying :0

- wc: 1.4k, 1.3k, 1.7k (jfc thats a lot)

a/n: thank u guys for all the love on the first part <333 ily all and ty to the nonnie that requested tsumu and kags

f!reader cuz pregnancy but no specific prns/gendered terms used

[1. suna, sakusa, semi]

IWAIZUMI

#! you were planning on telling iwaizumi the big news that night

#! you missed your cycle this month, thinking it was probably just late so you didn’t care and waited for one more week to pass before worrying

#! it was almost two weeks now, your period tracker repeatedly sending you notifications to remind you to log your monthly cycle

#! but you had no cycle to log

#! thinking that you should go buy some tests, you did just that and came home to see them all turn positive

#! you were in the kitchen cooking a quick dinner when iwaizumi came home

#! he entered your home mumbling under his breath about some kid while putting up his jacket and shoes

#! “welcome home, haji!” you greeted him from the kitchen

#! “hey.” he briefly said back making you turn around to look at him

#! “you alright? what happened?” you tried starting a conversation in hopes of getting his mind off of whatever it is that seems to be bothering him

#! “some fucking kids came into the gym today, acting all obnoxious, trying to taunt me and the team because they wanted to impress some girls who probably didn’t even know them. would’ve knocked them out if it wasn’t against the fucking law.” he harshly explained his day while looking through the fridge for his protein drink

#! you tried not to laugh, turning around so he couldn’t see your face and tightening your lips together to contain yourself, but it was so funny you couldn’t help but imagine it

#! iwaizumi heard the giggles coming from you causing him to roll his eyes, “what’s funny?”

#! “nothing, should’ve just knocked them out, babe.”

#! “yea? sounds like you want to start visiting me in jail,” he makes his way over to back hug you while you continued cooking at the stove, “well then, i’ll keep that in mind next time some dinky teenager get in my face, baby.” he mumbles against your neck before giving you a quick kiss there

#! “hajjj, i’m cooking. go be horny elsewhere!” your upper half shuddered when he continued making out with your neck

#! “whatever you say, your highness.” deep chuckles come from him while he lets go of you to walk to the bedroom

#! “don’t call me that!” his laugh getting louder at your exclamation

#! later that night, you both laid in bed on your sides staring out of the window in front of you

#! “hey haj,” your voice a gentle whisper as to not wake him up if he had already fell asleep

#! “hmm?” he hums from behind you, rough, warm hands under your shirt rubbing itself on your bare stomach

#! “do you ever want kids?”

#! he was silent as he thought about what to say to you

#! “i don’t if they’re just gonna turn out like those dicks from today.” his answer wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously, he just hoped you didn’t interpret that as him saying he doesn’t want kids at all

#! “so if they don’t?”

#! “.......sure.”

#! you noticed his hesitation before he gave you an answer, trying to ignore it so your brain didn’t start analyzing too much

#! “hm, ok. goodnight, haji.”

#! “goodnight, i love you.”

#! “love you too.”

#! you told yourself that you were gonna reveal the news to him that night, but seeing that he was worked up over those kids and his slight hesitation when he answered you made you change your mind at the last minute

#! you laid awake thinking about what to do while iwaizumi peacefully slept not knowing his hand was caressing his future child

#! a few days have passed and you were still thinking about when to tell him

#! should you just say it? how would you say it? “hey, i’m pregnant.” no, that’s too blunt. “what if i told you i’m pregnant?” eh. “i’m preggo!” maybe.

#! you both never brought up the topic about having kids again ever since that night

#! but what you didn’t know was how occupied iwaizumi’s mind has been ever since you popped that question

#! he’s been imagining what it would be like to have a little him running around the house, maybe he’s a crybaby and dramatic like his uncle oikawa — who definitely would like to be the godfather, and he promises daily facetime calls everyday despite iwaizumi’s obvious displeasure — or perhaps he also finds entertainment in the godzilla franchise like his father

#! iwa thinks it would be neat to sometimes watch godzilla with someone else besides you, preferably his own kid

#! the night you asked him that question, it took him a while to answer because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. getting lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he forgot to answer you, giving you a quick, “sure.” once he came back to reality

#! you didn’t know this so you took his moment of silence as a sign of hesitation

#! the minor miscommunication causing you both to go into your own heads

#! you were currently looking in the full body mirror, observing the way your stomach looked and how much it’ll be changing soon to accommodate a living being inside you. your hands were moving around, curving itself against your stomach naturally when iwaizumi walked in on you

#! “babe, have you seen my hoodie? the black one, i think you were wearing it-,” his sentence cut off when he looked up from his phone

#! “what are you doing?” he asked seeing you pull your shirt back down

#! “looking at my stomach.”

#! “why? are you okay?” his voice softened at the second question wondering if you were feeling bad about yourself

#! “uh no, wait- yes, yea i’m okay. um, can i tell you something?”

#! before he could answer, you continued, “well, by tell i mean show. i have something to show you.”

#! “uh, yes? why are you so nervous?”

#! “ok, wait here.”

#! “babe-,” and you ran off leaving iwaizumi and the rest of his sentence in the room. a few seconds later, you came back holding something in your hand

#! “here.” grabbing his thick fingers to open his palm before stuffing the item into it. his eyebrows furrowed and he slowly unravels the piece of paper. you analyzed his face for any signs of anger or discontent while his eyes scanned the pictures from one corner to another

#! “w-what is..... you’re pregnant?” he whispered out, mind and body in shock as he stares at you wide-eyed

#! you nodded knowing that if you opened your mouth to talk you were probably going to cry. he falls onto the bed, sitting at the edge, then buries his head into his hands

#! “haji?” your voice lower than a whisper

#! he didn’t answer

#! but you saw it

#! you saw his shoulders starting to shake

#! “haj?” you tried again, this time lightly walking towards him

#! his cries became audible when he felt your smaller hands wrapping around his shoulders

#! “hey.. why are you crying?” you tried comforting him because it didn’t seem like his tears were going to stop any time soon

#! “shit, yn, fuck me.” he said through his cries

#! “oh?”

#! he rolled his eyes at your implying tone before grabbing you by the waist to lay his head on your chest. his breath staggered from crying, he was still crying just not as hard

#! one of your hand gently going through his hair while the other one rubs his back. the action soothing him enough to calm him down and eventually his tears stopped. “why didn’t you tell me?” his voice pouty and his sentence breaking between every other word

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids. i was scared.”

#! he raises his head so his chin is now resting on your chest, “why’d you think that?”

#! “you.. hesitated... when i asked you, remember?”

#! his eyes drifting to the side as he tries to think back on the last few days. you knew he remembered when his eyes slightly widened and his lips formed a small o, “i’m sorry, the question made me imagine things and i got lost in my train of thoughts that i forgot to answer you right away.”

#! “oh.”

#! “yea..”

#! “then, i’m sorry for assuming things and not telling you.”

#! “no, it’s not your fault.”

#! “it’s not yours either.”

#! “so.. truce?”

#! “idiot! why are we making a truce?!”

#! he giggles as he stuffs his face back into your chest but not before he bent down to give your stomach a loving kiss

ATSUMU

#! atsumu was huffing with his arms crossed across his chest, lip in a pout and eyes squinted as he focuses on the television in front of him

#! “stupid ‘samu and his stupid food. i don’t need it. if he doesn’t want to give me any, then i don’t need it. i can make my own food. stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid.” he childishly mumbled under his breath as his eyes squinted even more, shooting his glare directly at the television

#! “‘tsumu, can you come help me with this?” a voice called from the bedroom. your voice. his beautiful, lovely, awesome sweetheart

#! “c’ming.” he mumbles, slowly sliding off of the couch to trudge over to you

#! “hmm?” he hummed when he got to the entryway of your shared bedroom

#! “can you hold this up a bit, i need to get something in here.” you were in the walk-in closet organizing some things

#! he was happy to help, but you could tell from the way he was pouting and his eyebrows still furrowed that something was bothering him

#! you sighed, “what’s wrong?”

#! “nothin’.”

#! “‘tsumu....,” you gave him a knowing look

#! he was gonna have to tell you at some point, “‘samu, that food hogging pig!”

#! “oh, hey! don’t call him that! it’s mean.”

#! “dun care, his fault for not sharing. our mom taught us better than that.”

#! “you don’t share, get off his back.”

#! “i do!! why are ya siding with him?! i’m yer boyfriend! yer sweet, loving, ethereal boyfriend!”

#! you raised an eyebrow at the way he described himself, “y’sure ‘bout that?”

#! his mouth opens as if he was going to gasp but no sound came out, he just pretended to faint

#! “oh no, did you die?”

#! no answer

#! “about time, thought i was gonna have to endure it for a few more years.”

#! “hey!!” he bounced back up when he heard you say that ridiculously offensive comment

#! “fine, i’ll leave then. don’t come running back to me when ya miss yer oh so handsome future husband.”

#! you snorted before going back to organizing the closet, “hold this for me, please.”

#! he groaned from the back of his throat but went over to help you anyway

#! recently, the twins’ mom gave you guys some boxes of clothes she had put away for some time. not wanting to throw them away, she gave it to you guys and osamu to take whatever you could

#! while looking through the boxes, you dug up some baby clothes that belonged to atsumu

#! “oh my god.”

#! he swings his head over to look at you, “what? hey! that’s mine!”

#! “it’s so ugly.”

#! “i’m telling my mom you said that. she’s gonna hate you sooooo much.”

#! “‘tsum, she set you up.”

#! he faked a wail and then turned back around to ignore you

#! “y’think we can keep some?”

#! “what for?”

#! “i don’t know..what if we have kids later?”

#! “that sounds nice...but we might have twins. i don’t want that.”

#! “huh? you can’t control who and how many we get, ‘tsumu.”

#! “then, let’s not risk it!”

#! “so, you don’t want kids?”

#! “precisely, yah.”

#! you stared incredulously at him while he continued sorting through stuff like he didn’t just tell you he made up his mind on not wanting kids

#! you found out two days ago that you’re pregnant, not yet telling atsumu because you just couldn’t find the right time to sit him down and talk

#! you didn’t expect to find out now that he for sure didn’t want kids. you guys talked about it a few times throughout the years of being together, but he never gave a definite answer

#! it was usually just him teasing you, or he was running around the answer. you never pushed him to answer, you didn’t want to pressure him or anything of that sort

#! “good to know, i’ll keep that in mind.” you mumbled, distracting yourself with folding the clothes

#! atsumu gave you a hum to acknowledge your words. no one says anything after that

#! a few days passed and the topic wasn’t brought up again. you secretly stashed some of the baby clothes while cleaning, the baby was gonna come at some point whether atsumu wanted it or not

#! but what you didn’t know was that he kept a stash of the baby clothes as well. he cleared out a space in his sock drawers by stuffing everything to one side, placing a stack of clothes inside because deep down he knew that there was going to be a mini him one day

#! it was currently morning, you both having the day off so you slept in. your back was curved to mold against his well defined chest while you slept. atsumu was snoring but you learned to block it out over time (he claimed you snore as well, but was never successful on proving it)

#! your eyes shot open, feeling the familiar bile crawling up your throat threatening to come out without your permission

#! quickly throwing the arm that was wrapped around you off, you ran towards the connected bathroom

#! your disappearance making atsumu’s sleepy eyes blink open, “babe? it’s still early.” his rough morning voice whispering out because it wasn’t capable of being louder than that in the morning

#! he heard the gagging noises from the restroom, eyes shooting wide awake in concern. he trips over the comforter trying to get out of bed, hurriedly running to you

#! atsumu acted fast and was holding your hair back, warm palms rubbing circles on your back. he wasn’t sure what to say, choosing to stay silent until you were finished

#! you wiped your mouth with the back of your palm, gasping for air over the toilet seat, reaching out to hold the hand that was on your back, you whispered out an, “i’m pregnant.”

#! initially he didn’t hear you, but once he heard it in his head he gasped. “how long?”

#! “not sure, almost a month?” your voice rough from throwing up

#! atsumu was confused. eyes darting everywhere, not really sure where to exactly focus on. his mind was racing, trying to think of why he didn’t know anything for so long, “ya didn’t tell me?”

#! “how could i when you said you don’t want kids?”

#! “i’m...oh..sorry, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean for it to be taken too seriously. i only said that because of the thing with ‘samu so i thought ya could tell it was a joke.”

#! “no ‘tsumu, i couldn’t. i was already pregnant at that point and hearing you say that about having kids really affected me. i didn’t know how to tell you after you specifically said to not risk anything, how was i suppose to know it was meant to be a joke?” your voice still groggy and tears were building up in your eyes.

#! he lightly sighs then brings his hand up to cup your head, rubbing it to calm you down. “i’m so sorry, angel. i do want kids, specifically with ya. what i said was a bit dicky, but i was just being immature, i promise. i won’t joke about serious things like that again, i’m sorry.”

#! you sniffed and brought his hand up to kiss him on the palm, but he quickly yanked it away making you look up at him in shock. “ya just threw up.” he pointed to the toilet.

#! you laughed at that and quickly apologized, he carried you up so you both can stand up from the bathroom floor. atsumu gently washing your hands and around your mouth, then you swishing some water in your mouth to get rid of the throw up aftertaste

#! “wanna know a secret, babe?” he blurted out while helping you walk back to the bed

#! “what?”

#! “i kept some of the baby clothes.” a shy smile on his face as he winks at you from the side

KAGEYAMA

#! you’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately, you weren’t sure why because it came out of nowhere

#! you decided to ignore it, but as time passes, you didn’t get any better and you even started to throw up

#! thinking back to the talk your mom gave you when you were 10, you went out to buy some pregnancy tests

#! the timeline made sense, the last time you both had sex was a few weeks ago

#! kageyama’s been caught up with practice, you were stressed, so naturally you both thought it was a good idea to let it out

#! but what you didn’t expect was having to buy pregnancy tests because there was a possibility you’re pregnant

#! granted there wasn’t any protection used and you stopped taking your pills a while ago because you guys just didn’t care anymore, so nevermind, you do see how you could be pregnant

#! but damn, one time. all it took was one time

#! shaking your head, you took your phone out to text kageyama

#! you’re not telling him over text, just letting him know you have something to tell him tonight so he can know to prepare for a talk

#! you: tobiii

#! you: i have something to tell you

#! you: tonight tho

#! you: after you come home

#! him: ok love

#! while waiting for him to come home, you lazed around and scrolled through social media for a bit. checking twitter, you were reading some tweets from kageyama’s fans, finding some funny, some adorable, and some just...weird

#! but one tweet you saw was from someone who had met kageyama at one of his previous games. the person was talking about their experience getting to meet him and they even wrote out a part of the conversation they had with kageyama

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: omfg i just met kageyama fucking tobiiosdfjdf

#! it was a thread so you clicked on it to continue reading

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he’s so sighs dreamily

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so fucking tall. i’m 5′3 and mans all the way up there 👆

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: OH OMH wait lemme type out one part of our convo omfg i think he has a partner?????? like an actual s/o guys not me

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok i asked him smtg along the lines of what he thought abt having so many fans who are children ykk bc i was thinking he knew i was implying that these kids look up to him and stuff

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: but this man.....is so...UNAWARE why is he like this but he said smtg like he doesnt understand how kids can be fans of him bc how can they understand professional volleyball like that and i was like ???mf didn’t u grow up playing vball

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so i was like oh ok :D and then asked him abt his thoughts on his future kids following in his footsteps bc i was thinking his answer would be wholesome or some shit

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he told me,,,,, i dont have kids and i dont want any... !!!! why does mr kagman not want kids w me :(( /j

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok so like all of this happened v quickly i was like in and out in 10 seconds lmao but WAIT after he said he doesnt want kids i saw him scrunching his face up

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: im not mind reader nor body language reader but idk he looked .. hrm sad?? FUCK IDK DONT TAKE M E SERIOUSLY IM DELUSIONAL

#! being an adult, you knew you shouldn’t be taking twitter threads of his teenage fans too seriously but you couldn’t help but reread the part where he said he didn’t want kids

#! did he actually say that or is this person rewording what he said? you now realized how you guys never really talked about having kids

#! sure, it was brought up once or twice but it was just because you were having baby fever. kageyama himself never directly told you he wanted kids or he was fine with having kids of his own

#! you sighed to yourself as you lock your phone, closing your eyes to take a nap until kageyama comes home

#! you felt yourself being shaken awake lightly, a familiar presence hovering over you on the couch made you open an eye

#! “tobio?”

#! “who else would it be?”

#! “i don’t know, a murderer?”

#! he scoffs at the slim chance of a someone breaking in to hurt you, but quickly turned his attention back to you when he remembered you wanted to talk

#! “so what’d you wanted to tell me?”

#! “oh, can you sit down?”

#! “o..kay?” he stiffly walked to sit beside you on the couch

#! “i’m uh,” think of something, “honestly, i forgot. yea, i forgot what i was gonna tell you. sorry.”

#! he raises one eyebrow to gaze at you curiously

#! “are you sure? it sounded important when you texted me.”

#! “mhm! yup, i forgot. sorry if i worried you, heh, are you hungry? there’s leftovers we can heat up.” you quickly tried to change the subject, getting up to walk to the kitchen

#! luckily your boyfriend didn’t question it further and got up to trail right behind you

#! you figured giving yourself some time before telling him after what you read was a good idea

#! are you aware that you were overthinking some tweet by a stranger on the app that is twitter? yes, you were. but you’re also human and overthinking is in human’s nature

#! it’s been three weeks and you still haven’t told kageyama the news. a part of you was ready to tell him, just let him know and you guys talk it out, what’s the worst that could happen

#! but the other part of you was scared. scared he actually didn’t want kids. scared he was going to leave you because going through with the pregnancy would drag him down. scared he would get mad at you for not being more careful when he was equally at fault

#! you know how kageyama gets when his emotions get complicated, he can’t deal with it so his one outlet is anger

#! he has no filter and says whatever comes to mind, all logical thinking leaving his brain

#! and that part of you is the stronger one

#! obviously you were going to tell him at some point, it’s not like you can literally hide the growing baby inside you

#! just not yet, not until you’re ready

#! you’re currently a little over a month, bump not really showing, but it’s there and it’s growing

#! kageyama can be a bit dim when it comes to.. most things beside volleyball, and usually you tease him about it but for once you thank whatever god is out there that he hasn’t noticed any big changes on your body yet

#! that was until you were showering, and he made the decision to enter the shower with you without your knowledge

#! humming to yourself while scrubbing your arms, you scooted back away from the water so it wouldn’t wash off the body wash you were trying to use

#! the action causing you to lightly hit kageyama’s chest making you jump from where you were standing

#! “tobio!” you screamed, turning around to throw the foamed body wash at him

#! he chuckles at your surprised expression and didn’t mind the soap you threw onto him, which was now sticking to his defined chest

#! “why were you just standing there, creep?”

#! he was still giggling when he answered you, “did i scare you this time?”

#! “what do you think?” you lightheartedly roll your eyes before going back to scrubbing your body

#! he picked the loofah out of your hand to continue for you

#! you both enjoyed the relaxing sound of running water and quiet echoed hums as he takes his time washing you when he suddenly stopped

#! opening your eyes, you looked up at him, “what’s wrong?”

#! he was just staring at you, blinking very slowly

#! “why do you look- your stomach feels- you look very-,” he sighs, “you look pregnant.”

#! now it was your turn to blink at him

#! you totally forgot that you were naked at the moment and he could easily see every inch of your body

#! blinking once more, you took a deep breath before telling him, “that’s ‘cuz i am.”

#! “y-you are?!” he jumped from his spot

#! “yea.. do you have a problem with that?”

#! “i...why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “do you have a problem with that?” you repeated

#! “n-no..so why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “you’re not mad?”

#! “why would i...?” his voice slightly turning high pitched as he dragged the i out

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids.”

#! “who told you that? when did i say that?”

#! “twitter.” you murmured under your breath

#! “what?”

#! “twitter..” you said a bit louder, still murmuring and choosing to turn away from him

#! “twitter?! why didn’t you just tell me, your real life boyfriend?”

#! “because!.... i was scared.”

#! “s-scared? baby, why?”

#! “i was scared you were going to leave. i don’t want you to leave. that night i told you i had something to tell you, that was when i found out. i backed out when you came home and i’m sorry. i should’ve just told you, i’m sorry, tobio-,” you were crying at this point, both of you standing under the water

#! “shh, shh, it’s okay. i’m sorry for not noticing earlier. you’re alright, babe. it’s okay. it’s okay to not feel ready, you don’t have to feel pressured to tell me anything, alright? whenever you’re ready, you tell me,” you meekly nodded as he pulls you into a hug, “whenever you’re ready..”

#! you both stood hugging each other’s bare body for a few minutes under the warm water

#! “that was probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said, tobi.” your voice sounding congested from the crying

#! “hey. mean.”

1K notes · View notes

inkmemes · 3 years

Text

young royals ( 2021 ) sentence starters ↪ taken from netflix’s swedish ya drama. non-contextual spoilers. trigger warning for mentions of sexual activity, drugs, alcohol, death, implied internalised homophobia, bullying. alter as you see fit ♡

“at least you can stay for a cup of coffee?”

“hey, wait up. did you sleep together?”

“he's probably making out with someone. forget it.”

“i can't take it anymore.”

“what are you doing?”

“and he had to finish your sentence. what's going on? you like him.”

“every time you see your dad, you get all depressed.”

“you're still here, so obviously you must want something.”

“are you high? what the hell are you on?”

“does this make you horny?”

“i like [town name], but i don't want to live here forever.”

“you can leave now. go home. i'm staying here for the weekend.”

“do you want chocolate?”

“how do you feel?”

“it's kind of hard to tell them apart, you know.”

“you're a worthless drunk.”

“you … you need to figure out what you want. and you can take all the time you need. and i respect that. but you have to do it by yourself. i don't want to be anyone's secret.”

“you have to stop pretending that you're not afraid.”

“that's the thing, i just don't want that.”

“it's something new. something fresh.”

“can we talk privately for a minute?”

“and if anyone gives you a hard time, you know, just let me know, and i'll take care of it.”

“you do know you don't need to hide?”

“are you gonna let us in?”

“promise to let me know if there's anything i can do.”

“hey, we won't go blind from your moonshine, right?”

“i'm just getting a good vibe. that's all.”

“you're so fucking pathetic.”

“you realize that this will have consequences?”

“he's such a fucking idiot.”

“i wanted us to have a few minutes alone.”

“when you're young, love feels like the most important thing in the world.”

“i really like you.”

“felt like i had to rescue you from that situation.”

“it got so damn hot in there, i thought i'd get some fresh air.”

“you are allowed your own opinions. it's cool.”

“i've seen the way you look at each other.”

“here, this one is a little big for me, but i think it'll look great on you.”

“do you think royal dick is different than regular?”

“you're the only one here i feel i can actually talk to.”

“i haven't heard anything yet, but i'll tell you as soon as i do.”

“you can't just lie here jerking off.”

“i don't want to go to some fucking boarding school!”

“i've missed this place so much.”

“are you going to horror movie night on friday?”

“but i like you. and that is not fake.”

“you don't need to share everything.”

“we should go to a concert again sometime.”

“you're fucking crazy!”

“where have you been? i've been trying to reach you.”

“just don't use the school's wi-fi for porn surfing. could be embarrassing.”

“but no matter what, they can't dictate what you say.”

“sorry about last night.”

“i don't want to talk to you!”

“i don't wanna sound like an idiot.”

“i was thinking, would you like to have a sleepover at my place? because that's something friends do. it's going to be really cozy.”

“i think maybe we should forget about that.”

“you can't really see that it is you.”

“i mean, it could be anyone. it's so fucking stupid.”

“i don't want to say anything.”

“now you're doing it again. you're trying to take care of me.”

“i can take it, it's okay.”

“that's not true. i haven't spoken to my parents.”

“we haven't done anything wrong.”

“you're beautiful! you're so beautiful.”

“i'm gay, [name].”

“seriously? what the fuck is your problem?”

“you keep letting people piss on you!”

“i just assumed you didn't want special treatment.”

“keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“so you thought you'd start spreading false rumours without having any proof?”

“i just didn't want to lose you.”

“uh, there's pizza left if you want some.”

“everybody thinks you're perfect. you know that, right?”

“he's just been outed.”

“i'm going to fuck this up.”

“he bloody ruined my fucking life!”

“why are you sitting in your room sulking when you have a crush to hang out with?”

“hi. sorry, i was feeling a bit better. so i thought it was okay that i hung out with some friends.”

"everyone should be allowed to live as gay or straight or whatever they want.”

“i woke up in my own bed. that's always something.”

“could i just have one second? just one second alone, please?”

“i’m sorry. but it was, like, the only way.”

“i thought, everyone deserves a second chance.”

“i'm sorry about the mess. i wasn't expecting such distinguished company.”

“i just don't want you to be treated badly again.”

“oh, fuck.”

“you don't even… aren't you even gonna answer me?”

“i didn't know that one was supposed to sign up.”

“in real life, you don't pay to get ahead.”

“and what the fuck does your dad do?”

“let's try to have some table manners.”

“it's, like, really serious.”

“who the hell can live like this for three fucking years?”

“that's what happens when you buy the cheap ones.”

“i need your help with something. ”

“being a prince is not a punishment, but a privilege.”

“it's awesome to just chill out.”

“or maybe he lied about that too. what do i know?”

“you have to give people a chance.”

“you have to try to see it from my perspective.”

“what the hell's this?”

“what happened to "we should forget about it"?”

“stop being so fucking stubborn and try to understand my situation.”

“sometimes it's better not to say everything.”

“i was just bored.”

“have you ever had a boyfriend?”

“sometimes it's better to keep quiet.”

“can i get you some coffee?”

“nobody else cares about these things.”

“i lost track of time.”

“everybody does the same things and everybody knows everybody.”

“thanks for rescuing me yesterday.”

“remember when he came up to us the first week and was like, "what's up?"”

“i need you to delete all our texts.”

“i can't keep doing this anymore.”

“are you gonna let them go on with their bullshit?”

“i want to be with you.”

“here's a blanket, a pillow, and bed sheets. there you go.”

“okay, yeah. you don't seem to have grasped what i'm trying to say.”

“it's usually boring as hell.”

“he's been dealing to us for months.”

“i don't want to talk to him.”

“don't you wanna date [name] anymore?”

“i don't know why he's started texting me again. he knows i don't want anything to do with him.”

“yeah, we had a shitload of drugs.”

“we could murder someone, and nobody would say a word.”

“she needs some fun.”

“he's just doing it to fuck with me.”

“it's such a weird question.”

“i just wanted to say hi. i don't believe we've met. ”

“but i still want us to be friends.”

“if i were to stay here… would you… like to keep me company? just you and me.”

“everything's, like, upside down now.”

“have you always lived here?”

“damn it. sorry. shit. i completely forgot.”

“i'm sure someone has a story to tell.”

“you've got to put yourself first. i mean, no matter what he thinks about it.”

“come on! you can't just sit there stuck in your room.”

“you can snuggle up in my safe arms if it gets scary.”

“i want to live a normal life.”

“let me have a look. you can hardly see it.”

“any other dick that's been sucked?”

“you just expect everything to be on your terms.”

“i want to know everything!”

“you don't have to go there. i'll take care of myself.”

“has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?”

“i'll just stay in and go to bed early.”

“thanks for explaining the schedule.”

“i'd rather die.”

“i don't want you to be mad.”

“promise to tell me if something is wrong.”

“i can't be dressed like this if you're dressed like that.”

“it's really complicated.”

“it feels like you don't care what people think about you, or if you have a lot of friends and stuff.”

“nobody asked you to come. feel free to leave if you want.”

“well, nobody has ever, ever asked for this!”

“there isn't so much to do around here.”

“you've become such a snob.”

“i know you're only trying to help me.”

“do you like it here?”

“i don't wanna go in there. we're not even invited. fuck this.”

“don't you think it's weird [name] invited us to come?”

“if they hadn't been here, would you've, uh, made out with me?”

“so, you're an actual proper couple now?”

“you're thinking about someone else.”

“you're right. we're doing this together.”

“thanks… for nothing.”

“why are you even so obsessed with him?”

“i want you to hold me.”

“call me when you want to be picked up.”

“what the fuck do you care?”

“i don't think we're a couple or anything. i don't know what it is.”

“you never asked me!”

“your focus should be on comforting me so that i can comfort him.”

“it's not that hard. you have to be able to keep up appearances.”

“famous people make videos like that.”

“maybe somebody forgot to tell me, as usual.”

“just make a move on [name] and show him what you want.”

“you wanna stay a while and jam?”

“have you talked to your parents about it?”

“a diverse bunch of losers, who'll never amount to anything.”

“why can't i decide how the hell i want to live?”

“apparently, i'm the only one who doesn't know everybody.”

“i used to have straight a's on every test.”

“it will damage our reputation.”

“i'm fucking starving.”

“why is it called tax "evasion" but welfare "scam"? it's all right that rich people cheat, but when poor people do it, it's messed up. for rich people, it's not even called "welfare”, it's called "deduction."”

“what the fuck is rowing?”

“what the hell have you done, [name]?”

“good voice, man.”

“why can't i just have a relationship with him?”

“did you have fun last friday?”

“all the people are fake. they're made out of metal.”

what do you want me to say? i'm sorry!”

“is this some kind of prank?”

“i like you when you are yourself!”

“but you like him, don't you?”

“she shouldn't talk to you like that.”

“are you into him?”

“something's not right, i think we should head back to the road.”

“do you have trouble sleeping?”

“doesn't anyone care what i want?”

“just don't tell anyone that i've been here.”

“i was going to text you back, but…”

“your only mistake was that you hung out with the wrong kind of people.”

“i just wanted to help.”

“i know you'll use anything to get high or drunk.”

“it's time to stop being so selfish.”

“i just want my fucking money.”

“you should've planned ahead. didn't you bring a sandwich?”

“who the fuck wants to be normal anyway?”

“you fucking told me you were the one i could always come to!”

“i take it back.”

“i can see there's something going on.”

“i have to finish getting ready, so if you could please leave.”

“no one likes me when i'm myself.”

“i hope you have a nice christmas.”

“i'm gonna do the wrong things, say the wrong things.”

“my mom is gonna kill me.”

“do you remember what you said to me last night?”

“i cannot be dragged into this.”

“i like you too.”

“you're no longer a part of my family.”

“it's well-suited for smaller people.”

“i assume that he thought that it would make him popular.”

“i didn't ask for this!”

“it's no problem. i like doing it.”

“it feels like i'm gonna throw up.”

“don't i get any breakfast?”

“whatever i do, i can't do anything right.”

“we haven't been to any party whatsoever.”

“did you get my texts?”

“i think it sounds romantic.”

“uh, wait, you have to come to the horror movie night on friday.”

“i liked what you said in there, [name].”

“okay, maybe he used to be a player, but love can actually change you.”

“it's nice to make an effort and dress up for dinner.”

“i'm in a fucked-up situation and i'm trying to talk to you.”

“you don't understand. i was gonna pay it.”

“you're not that kind of guy.”

“i was about to go outside and, um, do you wanna come with?”

“what about me?”

“it was… okay, i guess.”

“can i sit with you?”

“you call this a scary movie?”

“i have a million things to take care of, i don't have time to talk to you.”

“have you lost it completely?”

“but i'm starving.”

“this past year has been difficult for me.”

“i don't get it. she's making it into such a big deal.”

“no, this won't work. just take it off, please.”

“i'm not like that.”

“fuck you. it's not a crush.”

“then i know that i can't count on you.”

“can't you come see me in [town] sometime?”

“it's just that we can't be seen together.”

“he was still sleeping when i walked in.”

“doesn't bother me at all. i've seen it. absolutely. 100%.”

“[name] is really getting on my nerves! seriously.”

“i want us to be friends again.”

“i thought you and [name] were friends.”

“make sure you check your dms. okay?”

“you think it's fun to fuck with people like me?”

“never spend money you don't have. okay?”

“you think i'm stupid?”

“this sucks.”

“how nice to see some smiles.”

“this isn't just about me, but my entire family.”

“i'm going to marry her.”

“are you threatening me?”

“don't you realize the shit storm that follows if i come out?”

“i don't want you to talking to her.”

“remember what we saw during movie night? when they sat next to each other?”

“i love you.”

“i just want to hang out with you.”

"there's no point in having a back-up if you never use it."

“pretend i'm saying something clever.”

“how's [name]? he must be totally devastated.”

“what do you think they think we're talking about?”

“everything is fake. everything in the world is fake.”

“[name] is dead.”

“it just wasn't what i thought it would be like.”

“since when did you start liking him for real?”

“what a fucking douchebag. god!”

“what the hell are you saying? chill out!”

#rp meme #rp prompt #rp starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #it's long but i like my memes chunky <3 #lemme know if u'd prefer i do things in parts tho !#also everyone watch this show immediately :knife:

421 notes · View notes

starryevermore · 3 years

Text

traitor: you’d talk to her, maybe did even worse (3) ✧ steve rogers & bucky barnes

traitor ✧ steve rogers & bucky barnes series | ao3

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader; steve rogers x fem!reader (former); steve rogers x peggy carter

inspired by: this convo with @jamalflanagan

summary: steve reaps what he sows.

word count: 2,084

warnings?: mention of steve’s emotional cheating, steve’s just a dick, steve lies like a lot, i feel like this is very disjointed but meh i like it, not proofread

A first look. It had been Peggy’s idea, to get rid of the wedding day jitters. See each other on their own for the first time, let each other have their emotional moment together in privacy (save for the photographer who’d capture the moment). But now, as Steve stood with his back to the door, he decided there was no worse of an idea than this. How would he explain to Peggy how his nose was broke? He couldn’t tell the truth. He knew that much. She’d never forgive him. He didn’t deserve forgiveness, if he was being honest. But Steve wasn’t the honest man everyone thought him to be. At least, not to the extent they all thought.

He felt a tap on his shoulder. It was time.

Slowly, he turned, trying to focus on the beautiful bride in front of him. But Peggy wasn’t you. And, as her face morphed into one of horror, he realized that this was what he deserved. A life of loss. Peggy should leave him.

“What the hell happened to you?” she asked, reaching out, tenderly touching his already bruising face.

“I—” He froze. Shit, what could he say? But his mouth was moving faster than his brain. He was saying all the wrong things. “It was Y/N. She was a woman gone mad. She tracked me down and yelled and yelled and yelled about how I shouldn’t be with you, that I was hers. And when I said that I didn’t love her, she hit me.”

“That bitch!”

No, you weren’t a bitch. If anyone was, it was him. But he couldn’t stop. “I’m so sorry, Peg. I know this isn’t how you imagined—”

“I don’t care if you’re a little busted up,” she said, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss near his bruised skin. “I do care that your ex was crazy enough to do this, though. Did you press charges?”

“No, no. I don’t...I don’t want this to be a whole thing. Bucky said she was just all bent out of shape because of the wedding, you know. She still thinks...I guess she just saw you living the life she wanted, and she snapped.”

God, Steve, just shut the fuck up.

“Steve—”

“Please, I don’t want her to ruin this day anymore than she already has. This is our day.”

But it should’ve been your day.

Perhaps that why he had pushed so hard to get married at the orchard. Peggy had wanted a church wedding, but Steve had insisted that the orchard would be so much better. Because it would’ve been, had you been the bride he saw walking down the aisle. But he ruined it, and there was no one to blame but himself.

He still remembered the day he told you that he’d be working with Peggy like it was yesterday. The way your face fell, how you started to pull away from the hug he’d given you. Peggy? The woman you said you’d always love? you’d asked. And he’d so excitedly told you yes, that Peggy! Oh, baby, you’d love her. She’s so amazing, she just— And he had blabbed on and on and on about how great Peggy was.

It was no wonder you were concerned. And what did he do about that? Just feed into the idea. He’d genuinely been working late in the beginning, but the thought never struck that you’d be worried about him being alone with Peggy. But the more you asked about it, the more petty he’d became. You thought something was going on? Well, he’d give you reason to think that. He stayed later and later and later, until some nights, he just wouldn’t come home.

He’d become so preoccupied with the idea of getting back at you that he forgot about the wedding. And when he'd missing the cake tasting, he’d felt bad about it. But you started questioning his relationship with Peggy, and he just fucking snapped. You wanted to accuse him of be disloyal? Fine, he’d just fucking leave. He didn’t have to deal with that crap. He walked out.

But then he couldn’t get a hotel room, and he was too prideful to go back to you. So he got back in his car, drove straight to Peggy’s house, and cried to her about how he’d ended things with you. And she held him while he cried, wiping his tears away, whispering about how he deserved the world.

Steve didn’t mean to start dating Peggy, but being in a relationship was all he really knew. He’d dated Peggy for two years before she left. He’d barely been single half a year before he started dating you. And that lasted even longer than his relationship with Peggy! The man had spent barely a half of year out of his entire adult life thus far single. Being half of a couple was all he knew.

So, even though it had only been two weeks since he called off your wedding, he couldn’t stop himself from asking Peggy to be his best gal.

Dating Peggy was easy. They fell back into old routines, made new ones. He loved being with her. He thought she was everything he could’ve ever wanted. But, as time wore on, he just...He wasn’t happy. He missed you.

There was no real way to get back to you, though. Sam told him that you knew he was with Peggy, and you’d been heartbroken. Said he couldn’t get the image of you running off in tears out of his head. And, god, that ate Steve alive.

He never wanted to be the reason you cried.

And yet, he’d deluded himself into thinking that Peggy was his one true love. He fooled himself into thinking he was happy with her. Brushed off every little thing that put him on edge. Said he just felt bad about the ways things had ended with you.

Nat told him that you were seeing Bucky. And Steve convinced himself you were just trying to hurt him. Why else would you date his best friend? You were still in love with him, he was sure of it. So, he tried to get back at you through Bucky. He cut his best friend off, didn’t even invite him to the wedding. He was sure that it would be a wrench in your “make Steve jealous” plan he was so sure you had.

But then he saw you two together, the day before the wedding. And you were so happy, giggling with him, leaning into his side, your fingers intertwined with his. You looked happier than you’d ever been with Steve. But how could that be? You were still in love with him, right?

The thought ate at him all through the night and as he got dressed for the wedding. He had to do something about it. He had to see if he still had a shot. When no one was looking, he got into a car, drove to your house, and knocked on the door.

He never expected things to go so wrong.

“Get the fuck out of here,” you’d hissed at him when he tried to explain himself.

“Wait, no, I want to make things right—”

Why was he fucking things up so much?

“The only way you can do that is by getting the fuck out of here! I’m with Bucky now, and he makes me happy, and—”

“You’re only with him to hurt me back—”

“THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?”

God, he’d never seen you so mad before. The way your lip curled as your fist swung forward, connecting with his nose. He’d stumbled back, clutching at his face, looking down in horror when he pulled his hand away and saw blood.

“Steve, you better fuckin’ watch it,” Bucky growled when he reached the two of you, tugging you behind him. “You gave this up. You had everything you ever could’ve wanted, and you chose to throw it all away. You don’t get to come in here after you see Y/N happy with someone who isn’t you. That doesn’t make up for the shit you put her through. And now you’re about to put Peggy through the same fuckin’ bullshit? God, I can’t believe I used to think the world of you.”

“Bucky—”

This wasn’t what he wanted.

“Y/N said to leave. And you better fucking listen to her. The broken nose she gave you would be a helluva lot kinder than what I’d do to you for hurting my fiancée.”

“...fiancée?” Steve repeated.

No, no, no. That wasn’t possible. This was for revenge, he was sure. You didn’t even have a ring! How could you—oh. Bucky’s dog tags. Were those in place of an engagement ring? Bucky would never give those to anyone, unless they were real special.

“That’s what I fucking said. And unlike some people, I actually plan on getting married to her,” Bucky said. “Now get out of here before I call the police. Okay?”

“Okay.”

And now he was getting married to a woman who wasn’t you. And he would have to make do with a life he didn’t want, all because he was a goddamn idiot.

Married life with Peggy had gone well enough, at least.

That is, until six months later, Peggy had gone to the store, intent on getting supplies for their unborn child without any help.. Steve should’ve known he’d get caught in his lie eventually. It was inevitable. Peggy ran into you and Bucky, angrily confronting you about attacking Steve. But that wasn’t the truth. And, as you told the true details of that morning, everything suddenly made sense to her.

“You vapid bitch!” she shouted at you. “How dare you attack Steve on his wedding day! Steve always spoke so highly of you, and you do that to him?”

“The hell are you talking about?” you’d asked, taking a step back, not wanting to fight with a pregnant woman.

“You know what you did. You broke his nose!”

“...what did Steve tell you happened?” Bucky asked, moving in front of you.

“That your bitch tracked him down, tried to convince him to leave me, and then attacked him when he refused!”

“That’s not what happened!”

“Oh, yeah? Then what did?”

“He came to me!” you said. “Showed up on my front porch, saying shit about how he made a mistake and how you weren’t the one. That I was only with Bucky to make him jealous, and now that he wanted me back, I should just leave Bucky.”

“Steve...went to you? To get you to take him back?” she’d said, looking between you and Bucky, the anger dissipating. That...wasn’t what she’d expected. But, Steve didn’t ever really have his heart in the relationship anymore. Especially not during the wedding planning days. Was it so hard to believe that he missed the life he could’ve had?

“Yeah. Guess the man never could figure out which woman he wanted,” you said. “Suppose that’s why he gave you the same ring, got married at the same venue.”

“He...Oh, that fucking bastard!” She tried to swallow her anger, for just a moment. “I’m sorry. For what I said.”

“No hard feelings. I almost wonder if Steve enjoys hurting us like this.” You looked down at her baby bump. “I’m sorry, though. That he lied to you, made you think he was the good guy.”

“It’s alright. I know how to handle it.”

She didn’t come home that night.

Her lawyer served him with divorce papers the very next day.

The divorce proceedings didn’t last long. In the end, Steve gave up everything Peggy asked for. What right did he have to it, after all? He was only reaping what he sowed.

In the end, Peggy moved away. He was allowed limiting visiting rights with the child. Monthly visits, Christmases, and birthdays. He figured it was for the best that he stayed away.

After all, all he ever did was hurt people. He couldn’t do that to Peggy anymore than he already had. He couldn’t do that to his kid. So, he stayed away. He left Peggy alone, he left you alone. He left everyone alone. Someone people, he mused, just shouldn’t be with others. And he figured he was just one of those people. And so, he relegated himself to a life of loneliness.

And that was first time Steve did something right.

387 notes · View notes

cinnamonest · 3 years

Text

Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask. Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

#.camgirl

477 notes · View notes

jananakookie · 2 years

Text

Beauty | kth - Chapter 13.1

Pairing: Taehyung x OC (Reader) , slight Jimin x OC

Genre/Tags: Strangers to Lovers, Idiots to lovers (kinda), single dad; humor (-ish?), slow burn, angst, fluff, smut

Chapter Warnings: angst, mentions of heartbreak, mentions of depression & anxiety

Word count: 10k

Series summary: Taehyung knows what beauty is. He sees it every day.

You feel like you haven’t seen real beauty in a while but you think you remember what it looked like.

Or maybe you both have no idea?

Previous Chapter / Chapter List / Next Chapter

Chapter 13.1

“I’m a dick.“

Jungkook tilts his head a little as he looks at his best friend. “I mean… Do you expect me to disagree or something?“ He asks the older guy, looking rather smug while doing it. “’Cause we established that already.“

Taehyung covers his face with his hands, sighing deeply into them. “It’s not unlikely that she didn't want me there anyway, is it?“ With hopeful eyes, he looks at Jungkook but quickly covers his face with his hands again and groans in despair when he sees the look on his best friend's face.

“We could most likely answer that question without having to speculate if you would have shown the decency to… you know… stay.“ The younger one grimaces.

“Tell me again why I’m having this conversation with you and not with Namjoon?“ Taehyung mutters, glaring at him.

“Because he would yell at you and you said, and I quote: “I'd rather be insulted and made fun of by you than be yelled at and put down by Joon because at least, I can't take you seriously“. And then you said something about me being a better friend and way better looking or something…“

Cocking a brow, Taehyung looks at him. “I most definitely didn’t say that last part.“

“Whatever. Can't remember. Maybe I just added it in my head because we both know it’s true, but you’re much too proud to admit it.“ Jungkook shrugs.

Taehyung isn't in the mood to joke around, and he can't concentrate on anything but you anyway, so it comes with no surprise when he doesn't respond to Jungkook at all and instead continues with his whining. “Fuck, what should I do now, Jungkook? She didn’t even call…“

“I know, and I already told you it’s because you were a dick.“ Jungkook declares. “Honestly, how often do you want me to repeat it?“

Ignoring his best friend's not-helpful inputs, Taehyung takes his phone out of his pocket, looking through his mentions once again. No missed calls from you, no new messages from you either. He fucked up.

Groaning, he throws his phone to the other side of the couch in frustration.“I should have stayed and been there for her.“

“I mean, you’re just repeating what I told you earlier, but… sure. You’re right. You’re a genius.“ Picking some dirt from under his nails, Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I don’t get why you don’t just call her instead. Why make her come to you if you’re the one who fucked up?"

“Because I'm not sure if that would be the right thing to do. Maybe she’s mad and doesn’t want to talk to me. Or she just needs more time, or—“

“Or she’s with him and has already forgotten about you.“ Jungkook thinks out loud, instantly regretting it when he sees Taehyung’s spiteful glare in his direction. “I was joking.“ He quickly says, trying to mask a smile.

“Jokes are supposed to be funny. All yours do is make me even more anxious.“ Taehyung states, biting his lip in his nervous state.

Patting his best friend’s back, Jungkook tries to comfort him. “I’m sorry, man. You know how I am. Just trying to loosen you up a little bit.“ He smiles. “___ wouldn’t do that. Have a little faith in her, come on. She’s never done anything that would even remotely justify you doubting her this much.“

Hearing Jungkook say that makes him feel even worse, but he knows that he’s right. He’s probably just overreacting, that's all. “I don’t know why I am like that.“ Taehyung sighs, simply staring ahead.

Jungkook clears his throat, throwing his arm around Taehyung's shoulder in the process. “It’s not that hard to explain, actually. You’re just abnormally insecure when it comes to relationships.“ The younger one states, sounding sure about his words. “You’ve been this way with Jisoo, it just showed a little differently back then. You did everything she wanted you to, broke contacts, changed your personality, changed your style blablabla, all because you were afraid she would leave you. Now you’re doing the same with ___, but instead of following her like a lost little puppy, you do the other extreme and push her away as soon as you fear that something isn’t right. She had a past before you, just like you had a past before her. You dealt with yours, she hasn’t. And now her past is about to catch up with her but instead of being there for her and helping her through it, you decided to make a run for it and come to me to cry on my shoulder about it.“

Seeing the way Taehyung only gapes at him, he chuckles slightly. “I know, I know. I’m hot when I say smart stuff, eh? God, I would bang me too…“

“What should I do now? What if my behavior drove her into his arms even more?“ Taehyung asks without responding to him again, smoothly bypassing Jungkook's last comment.

Jungkook only rolls his eyes. “What if you’re just overreacting as always? It could have a thousand reasons why she hasn’t called yet. I’d say, wait till after work, and if you haven’t heard anything by then, you drive straight to hers and try to talk this out.“

Thinking about it for a while, the older one nods his head once. “Yeah… guess I could do that then.“ Taehyung sighs, not really happy with that solution, but in the end, it may just be the best he has.

“And don't let your insecurities stop you from showing her why she needs to be with you instead of him. Trust me, it's time to come clean with her. Tell her how you feel and what you want, and don't simply assume she knows just because you made her come once. 'Cause that's not the only achievement you should be going for.“ Jugkook adds with a scoff, making Taehyng instantly glare at him.

“Okay, you've had your five minutes of wisdom already. Now don't get carried away.“

At this, Jungkook laughs and even Taehyung cracks somewhat of a smile. “Thanks for being there for me. Even if it's in your own, annoyingly weird way. I appreciate that.“

“Wanna make out? I won't tell ___, I promise.“

And with that being said, Taehyung pushes a giggling Jungkook away from him with as much forth as he can bring up before getting up from the couch at once.

“Would it be alright for you to watch Hyejin today?“ He then asks while grabbing his jacket.

“A little short notice, don't you think?" Jungkook smirks, obviously still playing around, but he soon after nods his head approvingly. “Promise I won't lose her.“

“Honestly, Jungkook. I'm counting on you, so don't mess up.“

“Calm down,“ Jungkook groans, now standing up as well, joining Taehyung at the door. “I'll take care of everything, while you make up with ___.“

Taehyung doesn't miss the winks his best friend sends his way but deliberately doesn't comment on it.

“If you don't come home, I'll take it as a good sign, alright?"

Taehyung doesn't comment on that either, but Jungkook still catches the grin that his best friend tries to stifle before he disappears in his room to get ready for work.

The weather is incredibly changeable today which makes the photoshoot not exactly easier. Taehyung can't complain too much, though, because while the models are inevitably on the verge of freezing to death, he can at least stand behind the camera in his warm jacket.

“Nari, could you maybe not look like you're stuck in a freezer for one second?" He sighs, realizing he once again can't use any of the shots he just took.

“Excuse me? I might as well be stuck in a freezer. It wouldn't change anything at all. This is ridiculous. Why do we have to wear almost nothing while promoting a stupid hotel?“ She jitters, sounding far less annoyed than she probably would under normal circumstances.

“I know it sucks, but it's not my fault, nor is it my decision. If you want to complain, you're very welcome to go to Mr. Han and tell him how crappy all of this is.“ He shoots back, earning only a glare from her. Sighing, he tells her to get back into position as she does right after. “Look, the sooner we get it over with, the sooner we can wrap it up, and you can wear warmer clothes.“

She doesn't answer and instead simply follows his instructions, desperate to be done here as soon as possible. But right after Taehyung takes the first few photos, he hears someone calling his name from a faraway distance.

“One second, I'm almost done.“ He mumbles, subconsciously knowing they won't hear him but he's concentrating on Nari at the moment and doesn't care.

“Hey!“

Already annoyed by the still unknown person, Taehyung averts his gaze from his camera for a second and looks up. He’s a little surprised to see someone jog up to him, hastily waving his arms as if to get his attention. He doesn’t recognize him at first, but with a closer look, he feels like his eyes are about to fall out of his head when he sees no other than Jimin being that person.

When he finally reaches him, he stands in front of him for a while, smiling like they’re long-lost friends or something when it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Jimin extends his hand, much like he did last night, but this time, Taehyung actually reacts to it and shakes it on the spot. “Your name was Taehyung, wasn't it? You’re a friend of ___’s?“

Taehyung needs a moment to process that Jimin, your ex-boyfriend, who probably came here with the simple purpose of winning you back is now here, smiling at him.

“Uh… yes.“ He suddenly coughs. “And you’re Jimin.“

“That I am.“ He laughs, withdrawing his hand. “The one and only.“

“Uh, I’m sorry but… Can I help you? Because I don’t wanna be rude, but I’m kinda working and I don't wanna get into trouble.“

“Oh! Of course, sorry. I was just on my way to ___’s actually and I coincidentally saw you here.“ He rakes his fingers through his hair as if debating what to say next. Taehyung can see that he wants to say more, but he watches how his gaze turns to the floor instead. “Thought you’d have a minute to talk, maybe?“ Jimin then asks, looking up again with hopeful eyes.

Taehyung can’t say he isn’t surprised by his sudden request to talk to him because why would he want that in the first place? Does he know something is going on between him and you? Maybe he put two and two together or maybe you told him something. He doesn’t know, but he doesn’t want to find out either.

And what if it’s even worse and Jimin and you got back together, and he just wants to tell him to fuck off?

What suddenly shakes him out of his thoughts is the sight of Mr. Han, already stomping towards him from afar, and it makes a shiver run down his spine when he sees him fixing his eyes on him in particular as to see what he's up to. “Sorry, uh… I—I just told you, I’m working.“ As he sees his boss coming closer, he immediately starts sweating, not wanting to get in any trouble again. “Sorry Jimin, my boss is very strict. If he sees me talking to you—“

Turning around to see who Taehyung has his eyes fixed on, Jimin squints his eyes to see better. “No problem, I’ll take care of it.“ He suddenly says, “Which one is your boss?“ He then asks, making Taehyung once again look at him weirdly.

“Which one? Wait, what?“

Before Taehyung can say any more, Nari suddenly appears next to him. “He’s the one who looks like he has a micropenis and never sleeps with his wife just so she doesn’t find out.“

Jimin’s eyes wander for only a split second before he nods with an affirmative “got it“ before he’s already on his way to him with fast, confident steps.

Neither Taehyung nor Nari immediately realizes what he’s about to do, but when they finally catch on, they both look like they’re about to die.

“Why the fuck did you tell him that?!“ Taehyung starts to rage. “Mr. Han will literally kill me!“

“How was I supposed to know he wants to talk to him? And besides, don't worry, he will definitely die before you.“

Groaning in frustration, Taehyung continues to keep a sharp eye on Jimin as the ladder finally approaches his boss whose vein on his neck already looks like it’s about to burst just from simply glaring at people. Geez, he should be glad that Jimin will be history in a few seconds, but somehow he feels sorry for him. The poor guy has no idea what’s about to come.

He can’t even look at him so he believes it’d be best if he just averts his eyes but it’s like a car crash, he can’t look away. And so he watches in horror when he sees Jimin speak his first words to the grumpy little dwarf.

But nothing happens.

Instead, he sees something probably no one has ever seen before: His boss is… laughing?

“Tae, am I hallucinating?“

Taehyung faintly hears Nari's voice while he watches the scene unfold in front of him. “Would seem more likely to me than that this is actually happening right now.“ He answers, sounding barely mentally present. “That never happened before. I never even saw him smile. And with him, he’s laughing?“

“Who is that guy because I need him to be around forever.“ Nari jokes as she smacks Taehyung’s arm with a laugh of her own.

“I wouldn't mind either.“ Byeol agrees, now joining the scene as well. “Is he a friend of yours, and if yes, can you please introduce me?“

Taehyung doesn’t know how to answer because, well, what should he say?

Oh, he’s just the ex-boyfriend of the girl I like. He merely came here to win her back, no biggie.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to give her an answer, when Jimin starts laughing loudly, pats Mr. Han’s back a few times, and shakes his hand after. He then comes walking back to the two girls and Taehyung, who are watching him carefully. And they’re not the only ones. Jimin has the eyes of everybody on the set on him, but he doesn’t even seem to notice.

“Alright, you’re excused for about half an hour.“ He beams, looking at a gobsmacked Taehyung who isn’t in the right state to give him an answer. “I promise, I won’t take too long. I just want to talk about something, and given how you seem to be close enough to ___, I guess you’re the right one for this.“

“How did you do that?“ Taehyung asks cocking a brow at Jimin. He didn’t trust him before, but he sure as hell doesn’t trust him now. What just happened isn't normal, and he will be sure to look for three little sixes, tattooed somewhere on this guy.

Jimin frowns as he looks at him in wonder. “What do you mean?“

“Mr. Han never laughs. He never even smiles, and he sure as hell does not give people half an hour off for them to have a chat with someone. He didn’t even want to give me a day off when Hyejin had a fever, so… What are you?“

Jimin just falls into a fit of small giggles as he shakes his head at the younger male. “That my friend,“ He grins, “is charm. I just know when and how to use it. I saved ___ from getting a speeding ticket more than once.“ He shrugs casually, keeping that grin on his face.

It doesn’t look arrogant, though. Somehow, he manages to still look somewhat humble.

“Whatever it is, you have to teach him.“ Nari chimes in, carelessly linking her arm with Jimin's as she smiles up at him with big eyes. “Our Taehyung here is his favorite punching bag.“

“Sure, I’ll show you how it’s done.“ He looks at Taehyung with nothing but kindness in his eyes, and Taehyung almost feels bad that he wished for him to catch the worst explosive diarrhea of his life last night.

“I'm Byeol, by the way, and I'm single.“ Byeol suddenly winks, squeezing herself between Jimin and Nari and placing one hand flat on his chest. Taehyung can't help but roll his eyes while suppressing his laugh. Shameless as always, but if Jimin decided to go with one of them, he'd at least leave you alone.

Jimin, on the other hand, looks a little baffled by their sudden assault on him, but he quickly shakes it off again and replaces it with his typical charming smile. “Jimin. Nice to meet you.“

“Great so tell me, Jimin, do you have a girlfriend?" Nari then asks, unmistakably catching him off guard as he even starts to blush a little.

Before he can answer, though, Taehyung quickly intervenes, not wanting to have this conversation in front of everyone. So he excessively clears his throat and calls for Minho, his colleague, to come over. Luckily, it doesn't take Minho a few seconds before he's standing in front of him. “Take over for a second? I have to take care of something real quick, and then I'll be right back. Mr. Han knows what's up.“

Minho looks surprised but nods his head in agreement. “Can't say I'm happy to be working with this brat, but if the devil himself allows you to, I guess I don't have any other choice, right?" Minho sighs, looking at Nari, who already gives him the middle finger with a grimace.

“Thanks, man. Promise I'll be quick.“ Taehyung pats his coworker's back a single time before motioning with his head for Jimin to follow him.

And that’s how he finds himself only a few minutes later, sitting on a brick wall a couple of meters from the set, next to Jimin — your ex-boyfriend of ten years. Ain’t nothing weird about that.

The atmosphere is awkward, and it's not like it wasn't expected, but it's still unbearable. Thankfully Jimin is the first one to speak up right after they sat down. “Sorry for just blindsiding you like that and demanding for you to listen to my whining. We don’t even know each other. I can understand that this might be odd to you.“

Yes, absolutely. “No, no. Nothing is odd.“ Taehyung says instead. Yeah, alright, he just can't bring himself to be rude to him, okay? The guy is nothing but friendly, and not returning it (even if he might have a reason) would just make him the asshole. He also can't imagine that you would find that behavior particularly good of him. Especially, since you're always defending Jimin anyway.

So he has to play it cool, try to figure out what he wants from him,, and just get it over with.

“Sorry, I don’t understand what it is exactly that you want from me.“ Taehyung suddenly admits, looking at Jimin with expectation.

Jimin laughs at that as he leans back a little. “I know, it’s out of the blue, but I thought that maybe you could help me.“ He clears his throat, and Taehyung can see how he nervously fiddles with his hands. “With ___ and all, you know?“

“___?“ Taehyung stutters, “y-you want my help regarding ___?“ He just needs to hear it again so he can grasp what Jimin just asked of him.

Taehyung knows his opponent probably doesn’t know what’s going on between him and you, and he doesn’t mean to make it this awkward, but… dammit. Asking that of him is just cruel.

“I know we just met once and I had a feeling that we didn’t hit it off, but you’re the only one I can ask. I don’t know any of her friends here and… I just don’t know what to do.“ Jimin ruffles his hair as he sighs loudly. “Obviously, I don’t know much, but I guessed you guys must be close enough if you let her babysit your daughter. Is that right?“

Taehyung gulps, but he tries to mask it with a little smile. “Yeah. Guess you could say that. She kind of saved Hyejin on the day we first met.“ He chuckles, reminiscing the day again. It feels like it was ages ago, even if it’s only been a few months in reality.

“How did she do that?“ Jimin questions, seemingly interested in the story. Taehyung can see the way his eyes shine brighter and he guesses it has to be because of you.

He wonders if his eyes do the same.

“Ah, you know, my useless best friend was supposed to watch Hyejin while I went to work and he somehow managed to lose her. ___ found her and brought her to the police station. Who knows what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been there.“ He adds. “Hyejin immediately took a liking to her, and seeing how I was in desperate need of someone to look after her, ___ seemed to be a perfect choice.“

“Yes, all of that sounds exactly like her.“ Jimin smiles, eyes permanently locked to his intertwined hands. “She’s always been the type of person to save the day.“ He laughs. “Damn, she saved me more times than she should have. My big mouth tends to get me into trouble easily but with her… I felt like I was invincible.“ Grinning slightly, he stares into the distance. “She’s my guardian angel.“

“Sounds more like a nanny to me.“ Taehyung adds, thinking he only said it to himself, but he hears Jimin chuckle at that.

Frowning deeply, he rubs his hands against the fabric of his jeans. The way Jimin talks about you is like he just jumped out of a picture-perfect Disney movie and Taehyung has no trouble buying every single word he says. But there��s just something he doesn’t get.

How is it possible to love someone so dearly but then manage to fuck it up the way he did?

How is it possible to love someone so much and still hurt them like this? How can it happen that, despite all their feelings, someone manages to drive everything they had with their significant other against the wall in just a couple of seconds?

How can you love someone in this way and still have someone else come in between?

“There’s something you need to explain to me.“ He pauses but when he feels Jimin’s eyes burn into the side of his head, he continues, “So, I get it, you love her.“ He states, finally looking at the other guy patiently waiting for him to get to the point, “why did you throw it all away for someone you barely knew? I mean, that just doesn’t make any sense.“

Jimin stays silent for a moment. Taehyung can see how he nervously bites his lip. “I knew she told you. I would’ve done the same in her place.“

“She never even talked badly about you.“ Taehyung quickly says, watching how Jimin’s ears perk up at his words. “She did tell us the story. But she never… She never made you out to be a bad person or anything like that. She tried to justify your actions but I just– I don't see it.“

The corners of Jimin's mouth visibly drop at that. “Why does that make me feel even worse about the whole story?“

“Because it should.“ Taehyung leans back as well, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he shoots Jimin a testing look. “It makes you realize more who and what you’ve lost.“

Jimin nods, sighing after. “Yeah…“

“Which brings us back to my earlier question.“ Taehyung persists, mustering his opponent intensely.

Realizing Taehyung won’t back down, Jimin groans and shuts his eyes. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.“

Upon hearing his lame excuse, Taehyung scoffs. “Is it hard to explain, or do you not know? You should probably decide on one version.“

“Look, I don’t know if you’ll understand—“

“I can try.“ Taehyung interrupts, shrugging his shoulders carelessly as he throws him a look. “Not gonna lie, I am biased. But I’m also curious.“

Jimin squints at him while barely moving his head. He doesn’t want to look him in the eyes. He can’t take any more of those judging looks people give him whenever he has to re-tell the story. It's the same look that Hoseok gave him, the same look his parents gave him when he had to tell them why you weren't coming over anymore. Yes, he fucked up and he knows it but he’s hurting too, even if no one cares about it or thinks he deserves it. It takes a toll on him as well. And to be honest, he simply feels like he hit rock bottom by now. Not that he wants people's pity, not at all, but he just wishes someone would try to understand him too.

“First of all, you have to know that it wasn’t about Minji. At all. I didn’t tell ___ about her because I was fantasizing about being with her or whatever. I know that’s probably what you’re thinking, given how that’s what everybody thinks whenever they ask me about what happened and I get it. It seems obvious, I know, but it's utter bullshit.“ Jimin looks mad while saying all that. As if he felt personally attacked by these accusations. As if it were so inconceivable that one could believe that’s the truth. Taehyung can practically feel the frustration pouring out of him.

“I never wanted to be with anyone but ___. I still don’t. What happened with Minji was… Well, I wish I would know, honestly.“ He scoffs, running his fingers through his hair. “We tried to ignore it. Both of us. Because as soon as I realized that she may have grown a little too interested, I told her that it will never happen. And she accepted that. She knew about ___ and she knew that I wouldn’t leave her and she didn’t want that either. She didn’t want to come between us. That wasn’t her intention at all.“

“Jimin, I don’t need to know all of that. All I wanted was the reason—“

“I felt guilty.“ Jimin suddenly says, cutting Taehyung off mid-sentence. “I tried to keep my distance but I somehow still thought of her when I was home. When I was with ___.“ He looks down in shame when he says that. “It was just mutual attraction. Just a spark. Nothing more I swear. But at the same time, it was too much to just forget about or ignore while I had to see her almost every day. And the guilt was eating me up. Even up to the point where I let it out on ___. I was moody towards her, distant even. That was the last thing I wanted. So I just needed to do something about it.“

Taehyung notices, how he scratches the skin on his arm rather fiercely. Must be a nervous habit, and he doesn't comment on it, although it looks like he's almost about to scratch himself bloody if he keeps it up.

“I knew she’d be mad and hurt but I thought we would talk about it. I thought she would at least let me explain. Never in a million years did I think she’d break up right on the spot and run away to fucking Seoul without a single chance for me to reach her.“ He's unmistakably mad now, this cannot be overlooked but Taehyung knows he's not mad at you. He's mad at himself. It's clear from the way he hurts himself while reminiscing the memories as if to punish himself.

Slowly withdrawing his eyes from Jimin's arm, Taehyung thinks about everything Jimin just told him. Admittedly, up to this point, the story sounded quite comprehensible, but there is something that Taehyung still doesn't understand. “She didn’t leave right away, though. Why didn’t you ever go to her parents’ house and fix things?“

If he thought Jimin looked repentant before, he now looks completely regretful. And he doesn’t even have to confirm anything before Taehyung rolls his eyes in disbelieve. “So much for: I didn’t want anyone but ___.“

“I didn’t! I don’t.“ Jimin quickly says, wide eyes looking at his opponent in terror. “I was drunk, and I was heartbroken. You don’t understand.“

“Poor you. Want a hug?“ Taehyung pouts, knowing full well that it would only add more salt to the wound. He ignores Jimin’s glare and simply looks past him. Not that he cares, Jimin deserves it. You have suffered too but didn’t run to the next best dickhead either. “You’re playing the victim.“

“I’m not. I know what I did wrong.“ Jimin snaps back. “There were a lot of factors that came together and influenced my senses that night. I could no longer think straight. As soon as it came to my mind that I just...“ He pauses, closing his eyes and shaking his head with a sour look on his face. “It was immediately over, I promise. I hadn't even seen her again till a couple of weeks ago when I went to the studio for the first time in months. And I never even thought of her either. Only ___. She's it for me.“

Shit, that hurt. Why does he have to sound so sincere? Taehyung actually believes him, and it fucks with his head because he's not supposed to. Jimin is supposed to be the asshole ex-boyfriend who doesn't deserve you but instead, he's sitting here, withdrawing tears as he confesses about his undying love for you. This is not good.

"So, how do you know it won't happen again, huh?“ Taehyung quietly asks, staring at his lap. “If you felt “a spark“ with someone else once, it surely can happen again.“

Jimin smiles, shaking his head confidently. “No, it won't. I know it won't.“ He notices the frown on Taehyung's forehead and catches him opening his mouth to counter against it, but he doesn't let him. “It's only natural for you to not believe me in this, and there's no way I can explain it to you, but I'm a thousand percent sure.“

Well, what else is there to say. He's certain it won't happen again and Taehyung doesn't believe him because people change and if something like this can happen once, it can happen again. It's not rocket science, it's simply how life and people work. They're unpredictable. Jimin didn't want it to happen the first time either and yet, here they are. Logically thinking, he can never be sure about it not happening again. But Taehyung already realized that nothing he has or wants to say will change anything.

Jimin made up his mind. He believes whatever his heart and his brain tell him right now and you will believe whatever your heart and your brain will tell you. And if you decide to put your trust in him again, then that's your decision, and he can't change it.

All he can do is hope for the best. Whatever the best is.

“I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreaks too.“ He quietly says after a while of silence between the two. “I know it hurts and you aren't always able to think straight or act rationally.“ He catches Jimin's curious gaze on him. “What I'm trying to say is, I don't believe you're a bad guy either. And heartbreak sucks.“

Jimin nods. “Definitely the worst I ever felt.“ He says, brushing his hair out of his face. “How long does it usually last?“

His question comes unexpected to Taehyung, and he is on the verge of throwing a funny remark but surpasses the urge as soon as he sees the look on Jimin’s face. So he swallows what he actually wanted to say and thinks about a more fitting answer.

“It differs from relationship to relationship, I guess.“ He shrugs, “For me personally it never lasted very long.“

Nodding again, Jimin clears his throat. “Well, for me, it’s been eight months but it still feels like it was yesterday.“ He pauses for a while, as does Taehyung. “I truly, honestly regret everything that happened. I hate myself for it and if there is anything that makes me at least a little bit happy these days, it’s the certainty that she is obviously much better off than I am.“ He states.

“Never expected that I could ever surpass the hatred I felt for myself at the time of the accident, but... here we are.“ he suddenly adds, making the atmosphere even more depressed than it already was.

And suddenly, Taehyung feels like the bad guy again. Here he is, desperately trying to find evidence that Jimin is nothing but a piece of shit who doesn't deserve you but instead he sympathizes with him.

He hates to admit it but no matter what Jimin did, he really does love you. There’s no doubt in that. And it stings, coming to terms with the fact that you were right. He may not be a bad guy after all. And that would be great if it wouldn’t lower his own chances with you in the process.

“So, how did it go last night?“ Taehyung then asks, wanting to bring the conversation forward. He's dying to know how things are between you and him as of now.

At least, so far it doesn't look like you've reconciled either, though he'd rather hear it directly from Jimin. That would at least calm his nerves a little bit. Besides, Jimin was on his way to see you earlier — what’s the deal with that? Why would he need to meet you again today if you already talked last night?

Jimin scoffs, shaking his head. “Not too well, honestly. That’s kind of why I asked for your help. I thought maybe she told you something… I don’t know. Do you think there’s anything I could do to make her forgive me?“

Taken aback by Jimin’s question, Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up. He doesn’t even know what to say to that, it’s that ridiculous.

“I know, what you’re thinking,“ no, Taehyung doesn’t think he knows, “But it’s— I think she doesn’t want me back.“ Jimin’s voice breaks at the last word but he quickly gets himself together and clears his throat. “I was confident coming here, you know? I didn’t think it would be easy, trying to get her back, but I sure as hell didn’t think it would be so…. pointless either.“

“Why did you come here?“ Taehyung asks him.

“Because I love her.“ Jimin shrugs, looking at him as if it wasn’t obvious. It is, but for some reason, Taehyung just likes to torture himself. “I came here because I love her more than anything and anybody else in this world.“ Jimin says with a shaky breath. “And I can’t do it without her, I don’t want to. I honestly think I can’t live without her.“

At that, Taheuyng looks at him with a frown. “Don’t say stuff like that.“ He sighs, turning his gaze back to stare into the cloudy sky.

“No… I didn’t mean it like that, don’t worry.“ Jimin says. “I can live without her, sure… but I don’t think I can ever be happy.“

Now, this Taehyung understands. He knows exactly what he means. But as much as he does understand him, he also knows that this is definitely not the right way to approach this.

“That isn’t healthy.“ He breathes, noticing how Jimin looks at him through his peripheral view. “You shouldn't make all your joy dependent on one person.“ He tells him, turning his head to look at him too. “Not only is that unhealthy for you, but it also isn’t fair on her. She shouldn’t live her life just to make you happy.“

Jimin frowns, wondering if this really is the image Taehyug (and other people) has of him. “No, that’s… That’s not it. I mean, I make her happy too. Or at least there was a time where I did.“

Taehyung doesn’t say anything to that anymore and for a while, they just fall into a beat of silence.

“I was sixteen when I met her first.“ Jimin then speaks up after a while. “She had me from the start.“ Laughing slightly, he squints at the sun that suddenly starts to come out for just a second before it disappears again behind a relatively large cloud.

He doesn’t even notice how Taehyung loses the intense stare on his lap and instead fixes his eyes on him.

“I thought she was way too cool to be my girlfriend and apparently, she thought so too because it took me a whole ass year before she finally agreed to go out with me.“ A ghost of a smile spreads on his face as he’s picking his nails in thought. “At the latest from then on, we were inseparable. For a whole decade.“ Turning his head in Taehyung’s direction, he smiles at him again. Not minding how the latter doesn’t return it.

“Have you ever met someone like that?“ He then asks Taehyung.

Turning his head quickly, Taehyung clears his throat but doesn’t answer. He can’t. It’s a good thing that Jimin doesn’t even notice, seeing how he’s way too deep in his thoughts. Taehyung catches how Jimin once again scratches that particular spot on the inside of his arm. This time, however, Jimin sightly angles it a little differently afterward, giving Taehyung the chance to see the slightly darker lines on the skin of his arm.

“What’s that?“ He instantly voices his thoughts, not caring if his question might be too intrusive or not. He already has a theory and he just wants to hear if he’s right about it.

Following Taehyung’s gaze onto his arm, Jimin scoffs amusedly. “My battle scar.“ The older one grins, examining the little spot on his otherwise flawless skin. “At least that’s what ___ calls it.“

It looks like a bite. That’s the first thought that’s running through Taehyung’s head when he sees it, and it makes him wonder if it has something to do with yours.

Seeming to notice his questioning gaze, Jimin clears his throat. “Has she ever told you?“ He asks. “About what happened?“

Taehyung nods. So he was correct with his assumptions then. It does have something to do with you. “Didn’t know you got hurt as well, though.“

“Eh,“ Jimin shrugs, “Barely as you can see. Unfortunately, between the both of us she was the one who got the worst of it.“ He contorts his face in shame as he tries to hide the scar on his arm again. “That beast got me when I desperately tried to get it off of her. It wouldn’t budge.“ He sighs, reminiscing the memories of the night he hates to think about.

“It wasn’t fair. The only reason she was even there was because I dragged her with me. She didn’t want to, she just did it because of me. To make me happy. And all I get is a fucking bite mark on my arm whereas she was in the hospital for months, in pain. And that wasn’t even the worst part. No, the worst part came after. Depression, anxiety… all because of me.“ He grits. “Yet another time where I was the reason for her being hurt.“

Taehyung remembers thinking that the accident was with no doubt Jimin's fault the night you told them the story. And yet... now that he hears it again, this time from Jimin himself, he sees it with different eyes. After all, he did go back and try to help you; even got hurt himself in the process.

He never intended for you to be hurt. Only now does he become aware of this. Sure, he never blindly assumed that Jimin wanted you to be attacked of course, but Taehyung has never imagined before that it must have been a cruel time for him as well. He can't imagine having to watch someone, especially someone he loves, being brutally hurt in front of him.

“That’s not your fault.“ Taehyung mutters, trying to sound as convincing as possible while he still tries to get rid of the awkwardness he feels around him. He does mean it, but he doesn’t want to sound like he’s just trying to show sympathy in pity.

“Look, I do believe you genuinely mean that, but just try to put yourself in my shoes for a second. Just imagine the person you love more than anything else in your life got hurt the way she did because of some embarrassingly idiotic idea you had.“ He looks at Taehyung and nods with a humorless grin when he sees the look on his face. “Exactly. You wouldn’t believe anyone who told you it wasn’t your fault either.“

Taehyung nods, clearing his throat after. “My opinion doesn’t matter anyway. ___ doesn’t blame you, so who cares?“

“I care. Because it’s my fault, and there’s nothing and no one that will ever make me think otherwise.“ He states. But his deep scowl vanishes soon after as it turns into an expression of pure sadness.

“It has only brought us even closer together, though.“ He proudly says. “We were sure that if we could get through this, we could get through anything.“ He pauses as he wipes at his eyes quickly before clearing his throat. “I can’t believe we came to this point. I would have never thought.“ He breathes, staring at the sky. “She can’t even look me in the eyes anymore. It’s like… I don’t even know. But it’s not like we spent the past ten years as a couple together.“

Having listened carefully to every single word Jimin just said, Taehyung fiddles with the seems of his sleeves. “Well, that's a shame but try to understand her a little. It's not like she can just forget what happened.“ Oof, he knows he's salty, but can you blame him? He can't just sit here and listen to him anymore when all he truly wants is for him to forget about you and leave again.

God, he knows that sounds awful, especially after everything he just learned about you and him, but this is sheer torture.

“Again. I made a mistake, Taehyung.“ This is probably the first time Jimin’s voice is anything but friendly while addressing him. And for a moment, they both glare at each other before Jimin sighs and looks away with a shake of his head.

“I know you don't have any ill intentions but do you think coming here against her will and backing her against a wall to try and make her come back to you was a fair decision?“ Taehyung snaps back.

“At least, I think that was necessary, yes.“ Jimin states, sounding absolutely confident about his decision.

“Well, I think you're selfish.“ Taehyung shrugs.

Gaping at him, Jimin scoffs. “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?“

“Who am I?“ Taehyung mocks, smirking right after. He has a lot to say. He wants to tell him about his relation to you, and he wants to tell him to fuck off and leave you alone but he doesn’t. It’s not his decision to make and he knows it. He won’t be like Jimin. He will respect your boundaries. “I’m her friend, and I deeply care about her.“

Jimin’s hardened gaze immediately softens at that. “And I’m grateful for that.“ He says. “But I love her. And I care about her too, believe it or not. That’s why I even told her about Minji in the first place for god’s sake! Nothing happened. But I was so confused about my feeling at that time, that I just couldn’t look her in the eyes at a certain point. It felt like I was cheating even if nothing physical ever happened.“

“You do know there is an actual term for that though, right? And some people would count emotional cheating as cheating too.“ Taehyung intervenes sharply.

Jimin lowers his head in shame at that particular word. He never wanted to be associated with it but he knows Taheyung speaks the truth. This is the reality of the situation. no matter how much he tries to sugarcoat it. “I know. And despite what you think of me, I don’t wanna play the victim here. I know what I did wrong, and I also know that it will take a lot for her to forgive me—“

“No, it won’t because she’s way too forgiving and you know that. But it will take her a lot to trust you again. And that’s what’s standing in between you two. It’s trust. She lost it. And that’s something that isn’t regained just by simply being able to forgive.“ Taehyung states, sounding somewhat frustrated himself.

Jimin has noticed from the beginning how invested Taehyung seems to be in this issue, and that it really seems to mean a lot to him that you're okay. It's endearing, and it's probably the only reason why he hasn't lashed out on him yet whenever he feels like he's going a little too far with his accusations against him. Taehyung was there for you when he wasn't and it means a lot to Jimin, knowing you weren't on your own and had people who helped you pick up the pieces he caused.

“What is left for me to do now?“ Jimin then asks with a deep sigh after he let Taehyung’s words sink in for a moment. It's hard for him to admit it, but Taehyung is right. Lack of trust is probably exactly what's stopping you from coming back to him. “The hope that the two of us would eventually get back together was the only thing that somehow kept me afloat. What am I supposed to do now? She doesn’t want me anymore.“

“She does, though.“ Taehyung hears himself say in an almost whisper but Jimin hears him loud and clear.

“What?" His head immediately snaps in Taehyung's direction as he stares at him. “Did she tell you that?“

The glint of hope in his eyes is sheer torture for Taehyung. He shouldn’t care about this guy's feelings especially given how he himself has feelings for you and the least he wants is for you to get back together with him but he also doesn’t want to lie and he doesn’t want to ruin anything for you if this is what you really want.

Defeatedly he nods, looking down at his hands that nervously fiddle with each other. “Yeah… She told me.“ His voice comes out as an almost whisper. He feels the huge lump of regret in his throat right after, though.

“Really?!“ Jimin screeches, almost falling off the wall in the process. “Wait— what did she say exactly?“

“Well, just that.“ Taehyung shrugs, not feeling like going into detail. “Just that she… loves you.“ he pauses, attempting to get rid of that bitter taste on his tongue as a result of bringing these words over his lips. “And that you’re a good guy or something like that. I don’t know.“ he then adds defeatedly.

"She said she loves me?" The look on Jimin's face when Taehyung simply nods at that is comparable to Hyejin's on Christmas morning. He looks like someone told him he won a billion dollars or something like that.

“That means there’s still a chance for me then…“ Jimin speaks to himself, completely forgetting about Taehyung’s existence for a moment when a sliver of hope sparks up inside of his chest. “Maybe it’s not all over just yet.“

Taehyung feels his chest tighten at that, wishing he just would’ve kept his mouth shut but, of course, he had to potentially ruin it for himself.

And now what? He can’t undo it. Now he has to wait and see what you're going to do about it.

As if something bit him, Jimin suddenly jumps off the brick wall. “I should go now. I was supposed to meet her half an hour ago.“

“And you kept her waiting for this long?“

“Ah, she's used to it. If I tell her I’ll be there at two she knows not to expect me until three. That’s the way we roll.“ Jimin jokes, cracking a smile that once again isn’t returned. He grabs his jacket, shrugging it on quickly before smiling at Taehyung. “Thank you, Taehyung. Talking to you was very helpful. I can’t thank you enough.“

Taehyung hurriedly gets up as well and reaches for his arm to keep him from leaving already. At this point, he’s just trying to win time without knowing what to say to him anymore. He doesn’t know what he should do but what’s even worse is, he doesn’t even know what he wants for himself.

Part of him knows letting him go to you and talk things out is inevitable and even necessary if he wants you to finally be able to completely finish with the whole thing, whereas another part of him desperately wants to keep Jimin as far away from you as possible, in fear you might choose him in the end. And he couldn’t even be mad at you. This guy is obviously utterly in love with you. He’s breaking apart and seeing him like that is hard even for Taehyung, so he can only imagine what it must be like for you. What if you’ll get back with him simply because seeing him like this makes you feel bad and lets old feelings bloom again?

Yes, that’s probably his biggest fear right now, and it’s not like it’s that far-fetched, is it?

You were so hurt because of him over such a long time and yet, you longed for him and wanted him back. You never made him the bad guy, defended him over and over again. You… loved him.

But is it really past tense, or do you maybe still love him but are simply too scared to fully engage in him again? If that’s the case, he can’t hold you back from being with the person you actually want to be with.

He would try if he had a clue that Jimin was just playing with you. That something like that will undoubtedly happen again, and that he will hurt you again without meaning to, but the thing is, even if he has his doubts as anyone would, Taehyung doesn't think that's going to happen. He believes Jimin when he says he won't hurt you ever again. Jimin lost you and had eight months to move on but couldn’t. He’s still hung up on you even to the extent that he blindly came to Seoul to look for you and get you back. After eight months! Would he really go to such lengths, say such things, and look so distressed if he wasn't one hundred percent serious about you?

Taehyung can only speculate, but for him, it looks like he has learned his lesson.

And you need to make your own decision too. If Jimin is the one you want, if he is the one who makes you happy and who you want to build a life with, then you should be able to do it without somebody else trying to get in-between that.

He should stay out of this.

Taehyung tries not to look too depressed when he calls Jimin's name to get his attention one last time.

“Just, please… Don’t ever hurt her again, alright? She deserves to be nothing but happy.“

Jimin stares at him for a while as he looks over his shoulder, not fully turning around due to the fact that he was on the run before Taehyung had called him back. His sudden request makes him halt, though.

Something about the way he said it, just… seems off. Of course, he’d want you to be happy, given that you seem to have become friends over the past eight months or something. But the tone in Taehyung’s voice, and the fact that he doesn’t dare to look him in the eyes and rather stares at the floor, seems odd for some reason. He can’t put his finger on it, though.

Arching one brow in confusion, Jimin decides to just brush it off. “Wouldn’t dream of it.“ He promises with a determined tone, waving at the slightly taller guy with an unsure smile on his lips before he finally turns back around and is on his way to you.

With his hands tucked inside the pockets of his pants, Taehyung clenches his teeth and glares ahead of him. It feels like he’s fighting every single bone in his body right now to not run after Jimin, tell him the truth, and beg for him to just leave instead — even if he knows it wouldn’t change a thing. Jimin won’t just give up on you like that.

To his luck, someone else joins him at that moment, helping him to suppress the urge to go after Jimin. The only problem is that it's Nari, of all people, who is probably the least qualified to give pep talks to people who need it.

“Well, who do we have here?“ Taehyung hears her voice ring out, and he internally groans already. Even if he does need to get his mind off things, Nari is not who he needs right now.

He turns around with an expression on his face that already tells her to fuck off but to his surprise, she doesn’t look flirty nor happy to see him. Instead, she’s standing there with her arms crossed in front of her chest, glaring at him. “You just have to be the biggest fucking idiot around here, don’t you?“ She then says, sighing right after with a disappointed shake of her head.

“Uhm, excuse me?“ Taehyung asks, taking her accusations to heart.

“Don’t act dumb, you little moron. I’m not stupid.“ She snaps.

Taehyung has no idea what she’s getting at and his face seems to tell, resulting in her sighing in annoyance while she rolls her eyes at him.

“You come here for the last couple of weeks in the best mood we’ve seen you in ever since we first met you, letting us assume that a girl may have an influence on that and now I come here, trying to get a little gossip and what do I hear?!“ She screeches, “You just told that guy to get himself your girl. What on earth is wrong with you?“

Stunned that he was apparently spied on and didn't even realize it, he gapes at her with his mouth wide open. “Why are you spying on me? And how do you get all this information by overhearing that single conversation? I didn’t even say anything about my feelings for her.“

“Oh please, Tae. I’m a model, not stupid. I'm beautiful and smart, I know you can't relate.“ She scoffs. “And I’d fight for the person that makes me happy which seems to be new territory for you as well.“

“I would fight for her, but there’s no use–“

“Spare me, I don't need to hear your lame excuses. Just say you’re too much of a coward to tell her and show her what she means to you.“ She interrupts him.

“I’m not! You know nothing about the actual situation, okay? He’s better for her. And she...“ He sighs once again, feeling sick already, “She loves him, she wants him. And she deserves to be with someone like him. They can start fresh and new, build their own family and just be happy. He won’t hurt her again—“

“Oh my god, can you please just shut your mouth, Tae? Sounds like you’re just looking for a way to justify your utter stupidity.“ She snaps with a deep scowl masking her face.

“You don’t have to be so mean. What the fuck…“ Taehyung mumbles a little taken aback. No need for her to be so brutally honest, jeez...

“See, that’s exactly the problem with guys like you.“ She clips.

“Guys like me?" He asks, waiting for her to elaborate.

“Yeah... the ones who think of themselves as chivalrous while you're actually just being stupid.“ She replies, not letting him say anything to that. “You think you know what's best for her and think you can make decisions for her, well guess what, that’s not your job! We’re not in the fucking sixteens’ century, Tae. Women choose their men these days. And we do know exactly what we want and what’s best for us. We don’t need you to tell us you're not good enough, we already know that, but that's just the general problem with men.“ She says, smacking his arm in the process, ignoring his little protest.

“Do you want the girl?“ She asks with a gentle voice after a moment of letting her words sink in.

Taehyung nods, looking at the floor with a pained frown. “Of course I do.“

“Then tell her that. Don’t send some other useless idiot to take her away.“ The way she looks at him now is new. He isn't used to her showing compassion, seeing how she usually enjoys the suffering of others. It's a nice change for once.

But still, it doesn't change anything. “Nari, you don’t understand. ___ will choose him anyway—“

“Yes, you just said it.“ She nods, resting her hands on her hips. “She will choose. You don’t get to make that decision for her. It is only up to her for whom she chooses and it’s either you or him. So tell me Tae, even if both of you were to make her equally as happy who do you think she will choose? The one who tries everything to get her back or the one who doesn’t show any interest and rather encourages somebody else to win her over?“ And after she dropped that little bomb of much necessary reality check on him, she simply turns back around, leaving Taehyung to stand there on his own in absolute misery.

She’s right. Now it looks like he doesn’t care enough about you to stand up against Jimin and try to be with you. Even if there’s a slight chance Jimin won’t tell you about the little conversation he just had with him, the sheer fact that there has been nothing but radio silence between you and him since yesterday evening must look like he doesn’t want to talk to you which actually couldn’t be farther from the truth.

It’s probably not necessary to mention that he already regrets his decision, however, it is too late to change anything now. Jimin is already on his way to you while he is stuck here and will probably not be able to leave anytime soon.

Unfortunately adding to that, Mr. Han is the next one who finds him, and even if he’s standing far away, his voice cannot be unheard from miles. “Taehyung! I see Jimin has left so why aren’t you working yet?! I'm not paying you to stare melancholically into nothingness.“

Cringing at the loud tone in his boss’s voice, he sighs. “God, I need to find a new job.“ Taehyung mumbles to himself before he grumpily starts strutting back to the set, he left a little while ago.

But no matter how hard he tries, Nari’s words won’t leave his head for good

#taehyung #taehyung au #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #jimin #jimin angst #bts #bts x reader #taehyung imagines #taehyung scenarios #kim taehyung

129 notes · View notes