#did i say the 80s? i meant the 90s

[shortnotsweet]

all bets are off [2/3]

Lucemond High School AU drabble [part 1], She’s All That (1999)

Aemond Targaryen may be the leading man of Westeros, but Daeron is the man of the hour. His date moves timidly at first, but settles into the steps of a waltz as a swan does to water.

“You’re better than I thought,” he laughs, breathless and pretty. “Better than Jace, at least. He always stepped on my toes.”

“I hope you’d rather dance with me than your brother,” Daeron murmurs into the shell of his ear. “Besides, my mother may not pay attention when it counts, but she made sure we knew how to dance. We’re Targaryens, aren’t we?”

It’s when he swoops down to kiss him—or maybe when Valeryon tilts his head to receive it—that a sudden crash can be heard, followed by horrified—no, delighted—shrieks. Onlookers witness the leading man shoving through the crowd just to get to them. The drink table is overturned on the way; in retrospect, the table was already on its way down, overloaded with spiked punch bowls as it was, and the skirt of Maris Baratheon’s dress snagged on the hinges of the folding leg and helped it capsize once and for all.

Forget Maris, forget the dress, forget the table. No use crying over spilled vodka on a gymnasium floor. This is what matters:

Daeron jumps into action when he hears about the pig because that’s—that’s just fucked. Daeron heard it from Aegon who heard it from Helaena who didn’t hear it from Aemond because he didn’t tell her, but their sister must possess some form of clairvoyance because she always knows about these things. What kind of things?

Denial runs in the family; it’s in their blood. Having lived half a life with both, Daeron can guess which side. He’s the level one, the normal one. He spots the abnormal a mile away.

He sees it in the way their mother openly tosses Rhaenyra’s family holiday cards into the trash without even opening the envelopes, but must privately fish them out later in the evening. He found them all once at the back of her fragrance drawer, stacked chronologically by the year and tucked behind vintage perfume bottles, neatly out of sight.

He supposes Aemond is much the same. Aemond, the older brother he sparsely knows, has many tells. For example: two separate underwear drawers, a jar filled with hard lemon candies he himself doesn’t touch, a journal he once tackled Aegon for opening. With him, things stay out of sight, but never out of mind.

That’s why Daeron doesn’t rat him out when he first hears about the bet. From what Aegon has said, Helaena doesn’t contradict, and Daeron has witnessed, Aemond’s watched Luke for years and wants him in every possible way. Perhaps he is like Alicent, Daeron thinks, who lovingly files away memorabilia to dissect later. Perhaps Aemond will get the right of it in the end.

Then, Daeron catches wind of the blood and sees red. Right or wrong, plotting to seduce the object of your ire over the course of a school year and humiliate him come prom night by dumping him onstage, then dumping a bucket of blood suspended from the ceiling over him is—well. Aegon says it best.

“Pig’s blood? Really, Aemond? You’re like a cartoon supervillain.”

They all know Aemond never would’ve gone through with it. The Baratheon girls, save for one, are vapid creatures. Aemond never needed Maris’s favor to secure an internship with her father, but it was always an excuse. The moment she pointed out Luke—shy, wallflower freshman as he was—Aemond hatched his own plan. They’re Targaryens in name and blood, but they’re Hightowers, too. It’s in their conniving nature.

That summer, Luke should’ve taken one look at Aemond’s outstretched hand and taken off at a sprint. Daeron would’ve taken Luke’s hand himself and dragged him away, had he known.

Luke runs track in the winter and spring and hides himself away in the summer and fall, like an inverse of seasonal depression. Luke is a good runner. He’s skinny, but has strong legs and the instinct for it; the second the starting pistol blows, he jolts like a jackrabbit and covers the two-hundred stretch like it’s nothing. Daeron watches him run from the bleachers because he’s good at it, and because Luke sometimes wears these little shorts that barely cover anything. Aemond watches too, of course, stealing glances during lacrosse practice and nearly letting the ball get away from him. After the infamous breakup—which took place behind the scenes but played out in the aftermath for the entire school to see and speculate on—Aemond is even less subtle about it. A few times he moves to abandon the field, as if to run after Luke like a hound catching a scent. Then he’ll catch sight of Daeron in the bleachers and glower.

(“Who dumped who? It had to be Aemond, right?”

“No, no. Look at him. That’s not the look of someone who escaped a relationship.”

“What are they supposed to look like then?”

“Free, I guess. Liberated. I dunno.”)

Lucerys Valeryon pulls up the driveway in the dead of night. It’s the end of April.

Daeron watches for him out his bedroom window, then hurries downstairs and out the back door when he sees the Beetle convertible emerge, a baby blue blot in the dark. Luke called him beforehand, said he had to drop off Aemond’s things before he got too attached. Borrowed shirts, origami candy wrappers, a roll of photos sheathed in an envelope. A hardcover children’s book. It is a good thing Aemond and the rest of the household is asleep; he’d been in a black mood for weeks and knowing Lucerys was so close again would have him frothing at the mouth. Who knows what he’d be driven to do.

Daeron meets him at the edge of the lawn. Luke takes one look at him—his hair, the color of his eyes—and his expression crumbles. He cries on the curb. Daeron crouches down next to him. You’re my friend. You’re beautiful. You never deserved this, he thinks. Neither does Aemond. He never did.

“I have a suit,” Daeron says instead. And both eyes. “You were excited about it, right? Go with me.”

“Huh?” Luke wipes his face. It’s flushed red and splotchy. He is so lovely. “No, no. You don’t have to keep…” being nice to me, he finishes lamely, mentally. Daeron hears it anyway. Oh, you silly boy. He watched him before this summer, but they’d become true friends by the beginning of fall thanks to Aemond dragging him home every week, much to their mother’s despair and Rhaenyra’s clear delight. It might be one of the best things to ever happen to Daeron, besides his mother finally deciding he can come home. He knows what it’s like, then, that fear. Luke must think that once Aemond is no longer in his orbit, he’ll simply blink out existence like a star burned to a quick. It’s not true. It never was.

“I know. I want to.” Daeron hopes Luke hears his conviction bleeding through, and fears he’ll hear the love there, too. Luke is silent for a moment, turning it over in his mind.

“Okay,” he says wetly, finally. “I’ll go to prom with you. Pick me up at six.”

It’s a month to prom. Aemond’s stuff is packed in a box in the back of the car. It’s a date.

“Thank you for telling me,” Luke mutters against Daeron’s shoulder. “No one else did. They didn’t think I could handle it, I bet, but you—you knew.” A scaly beast that’s lived inside Daeron’s ribcage for longer than he can remember rumbles in agreement.

Luke rests his cheek against his collarbone and Daeron is sure that if he tried, he could hear the staccato of his heartbeat through the skin of his throat.

“Would you have wanted to know? Even if you knew it would make you unhappy?” It was obvious to anyone who knew them that Aemond never would’ve broken up with Luke in the end, not of his own volition. He’d die first.

“Of course.” Luke pulls back, offended. “How else would I—I would’ve never known it wasn’t real.” Daeron almost shakes his head. It was real, alright. Realer than Luke will ever know. But this—this can be real, too. This can be just as good. Better.

“I’m glad, then.” He dips him then, hand creeping down to plant against Luke’s lower back. The speakers continue to warble in the background, but Daeron doesn’t recognize the song; it’s something about moonlight, about fireflies dancing and the silver moon watching on.

“Don’t touch him.”

Ah. Speak of the devil. Daeron’s been touching their nephew all night, but Aemond probably knows that. He’s been watching them out of the corner of his remaining eye, jaw clenched in fury. His poor date—wretched girl she is—stands behind him, clutching at her torn skirt with a mottled expression. She’d scuttled after Aemond, to no avail.

“What are you doing?” Luke asks over Daeron’s shoulder. Everyone is watching. He is not as tall as his brother, but he’s taller than Luke and shifts to angle him away. Aemond, as expected, follows like a dog chasing a tail.

“You’re my boyfriend,” Aemond hisses, wounded, reaching out for Luke’s sleeve, “debasing himself. What are you doing?”

“Was.” Luke jerks away, clinging to Daeron’s arms like he’s a lifeboat at sea. Aemond flinches. “This is my date. I came here because I wanted to.” Luke’s fingers dig into the black fabric of Daeron’s tux. “Leave us alone.” At the mention of us, Aemond’s nostrils flare.

“Didn’t you hear him?” Daeron says blandly. “Leave us alone.” He doesn’t even need to turn to know there’s anguish painted on his face, in the tremor of his lip. You’re losing him, Aemond. One more strike, you’re out.

“How dare you?” Aemond grits out, snagging a fist in Daeron’s lapel instead, to the gasps of the crowd circling around the three of them. “You think you can come back here and help yourself?” You, who was born with nothing, for nothing, shipped away like nothing.

Daeron looks up at Aemond now, at the red rim of his eye and the brokenness behind the pupil. It’s been said that all men demand their pound of flesh. They’re not men, not yet, but Aemond’s been baying for Luke’s blood (and body, mind and soul) for the better of nine years. It’s a three-man play, and the spotlight is sweltering.

Daeron only smiles at the challenge. Maybe it looks sharp. Maybe it looks bloody. Maybe it looks like he has nothing to lose.

(Wrong. He has the audacity, actually. If he plays his cards right, he gets Luke, too.)

[homunculus-argument]

My fault as a person is that I have zero sympathy for people who don't even try to understand what I'm saying. I have comprehension issues, I often miss roughly 20% of what people say to me, so I've learned to somewhat-instinctively just come up with two or three most likely options of what they might mean, and choose the one that makes the most sense in context, because I'm more likely to assume that the person I'm talking with is an intelligent person who says things that make sense.

So I tend to assume that other people do the same, and get insulted when they assume that I said something stupid. I project my own pathways of thinking onto them, and assume their thought process goes "hmm, did this person mean it in the regularly interpreted way that would be an idiotic claim in this context, or the literal way that makes perfect sense in this context? Since I believe that this person is fucking stupid, then obviously they mean the idiotic thing."

I get angry at people misunderstanding me because I instinctively assume that they function by the same framework as I do, understanding 80% and doing context clue deduction for the last 20%. So it feels like they're going out of their way to misunderstand me when 90% of what I said should make sense in context, but they specifically chose the 10% and pretend it's what I meant.

If I say "you see more birds in the city than in the wild", I think what I meant is obvious because it can be interpreted in two ways: either that there are more birds in the city, or that the city birds are simply more visible to people because they are habituated to human presence. And since one claim is idiotic and the other one makes sense, I take it as their assessment of my intelligence whether they assume I'd say something stupid, or something that makes sense.

So I am offended and insulted when people respond to a statement like that with "of course there are more birds in the wilderness than in cities! How could you say that?" and linking me with 15 pages of bird statistics. And I am outraged that I have to clarify that I literally meant seeing them, that the presence of birds is more visually evident in cities where they do not go out of their way to hide from humans. Obviously I know that there are more birds in the wild than within cities, as I am not fucking stupid.

And people just go "how was I supposed to know that you literally meant exactly what you said?" like it's perfectly understandable that they'd rather interpret my words as the words of an idiot.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Spellbound

you might be void of feelings i fear i haven’t felt for anyone

synopsis// by no means did you hate soulmates, you just hated that he was your soulmate. not like megumi was ecstatic that he was your soulmate either. but that’s fine, both of you found someone else to keep you company.

status// finished!

updates// everyday unless said otherwise

warning// dating app!au, soulmate!au, college!au, no curses!au, enemies(?) to lovers, profanity, megumi and y/n are edgy pieces of shit <3, kys jokes, crack humor? i’m going back to my cringe 2020 smau roots with reaction images id say i’m sorry but i’m not, if any characters or dynamics r ooc take that up with the universe not me !!

☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by spell strike by provoker, so besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds little to no relevance :) ☆

you might be the only one

might be the only one for me

feeling 1. young and stupid

feeling 2. child of divorce

feeling 3. no schedule just vibes

feeling 4. six feet under

feeling 5. this is my fight song

feeling 6. success rate

feeling 7. lone wolf

feeling 8. dumpster fire

feeling 9. retail therapy

feeling 10. be normal

feeling 11. the enemy has been defeated

feeling 12. enemies to lovers irl

feeling 13. exorcism

feeling 14. shut ur up

feeling 15. winner

feeling 16. hip hip hooray

feeling 17. swiped right!

feeling 18. silly little mystery

feeling 19. for no reason

feeling 20. i guess so

feeling 21. sigh of relief

feeling 22. relationship territory

feeling 23. don’t hmu

feeling 24. major in loser

feeling 25. fight club

feeling 26. jigsaw

feeling 27. ghosting

feeling 28. cold shoulder

feeling 29. before marriage

feeling 30. meant to be

feeling 31. a hunch

feeling 32. survival of the fittest

feeling 33. he knows

feeling 34. so close yet so far

feeling 35. (disrespectfully)

feeling 36. regressing

feeling 37. take pity

feeling 38. telepathy

feeling 39. betrayed

feeling 40. two birds with one stone

feeling 41. dead end

feeling 42. mass hysteria

feeling 43. an apology

feeling 44. baby’s first reciprocated love

feeling 45. psychological warfare

feeling 46. jealous

feeling 47. a facade

feeling 48. learning to coexist

feeling 49. with you

feeling 50. useless E information

feeling 51. good idea

feeling 52. break the peace

feeling 53. enjoy the peace

feeling 54. revenge

feeling 55. tolerable

feeling 56. catastrophic

feeling 57. fumbled

feeling 58. easier than you think

feeling 59. no downtime

feeling 60. caught red handed

feeling 61. for good

feeling 62. replace megumi with megumi

feeling 63. delicate

feeling 64. best bet

feeling 65. valid question

feeling 66. devils incarnate

feeling 67. patience is a virtue

feeling 68. grow and change as a person

feeling 69. megumi truthers

feeling 70. knock on wood

feeling 71. come find me

feeling 72. cryptic

feeling 73. more than aware

feeling 74. see the future

feeling 75. trying to be nice

feeling 76. why do you hate me

feeling 77. knight in shining armor

feeling 78. perfect paradox

feeling 79. idgaf war

feeling 80. stay like this forever

feeling 81. baby bird

feeling 82. found your way back

feeling 83. heart racing

feeling 84. loverboy activities feeling 85. megumi this megumi that feeling 86. protect you feeling 87. flirt back feeling 88. wingmen feeling 89. in love with megumi allegations feeling 90. more broken feeling 91. gets shirtless again feeling 92. 1 new message!

feeling 93. protecting your peace

feeling 94. tired of waiting

last feeling. a kiss and a fight

epilogue/bonus feeling. spy

[slavghoul]

Interview from Metal Hammer 8/2023

LIFE LESSONS from TOBIAS FORGE

Shock rock, bad glam bands and wanting to be Venom: inside the brain of Ghost's benevolent overlord

Tobias Forge is the mastermind behind one of the 21st century's hottest metal bands, but even he’ll admit that success was a long time in the making. Hailing from the Swedish city of Linköping, the Ghost frontman dabbled in everything from death metal to glam before donning the iconic Papal attire and paint to transform into Papa Emeritus, transcending his roots to become a larger-than-life character. Here are the key parables he has to share, gleaned from more than 25 years on the heavy metal frontlines.

MUSIC AND MOVIES ARE GATEWAYS TO OTHER WORLDS

“Linköping was a nice city to grow up in. It wasn’t so small you felt like you were cramped in a village, but it’s small enough that you’d still want to eventually move somewhere else. You’d have access to all these gateways to other worlds through the record stores and the local video store. My dreams started there - everything I do now, I dreamt back there.”

I WAS A TEENAGE HEADBANGER

“I had a teenage brother growing up, so I had a free pass into teenage culture. Whatever they consumed, I got a whiff of - how they dressed, what they watched on TV, what films they rented... The lifestyle and expression that meant most to me was shock rock. Twisted Sister were a wrecking ball into my life with I Wanna Rock. That song made me want to bounce!”

THE HEAVIER IT GOT, THE DEEPER I WANTED TO GO

“When I first heard Candlemass, I was eight and I was blown away. I already liked Black Sabbath, Metallica and Motorhead through my brother, but Candlemass were local and sounded so heavy, it was like doomsday. King Diamond and Candlemass served as a segue for me to discover death metal and black metal in the early 90s. It became my calling. From the ages of 12 to 22, I spent my life in death and black metal bands.”

FOLLOW YOUR HEART (AND SOMETIMES YOUR WALLET)

“My mom is from Stockholm, so when I was 15 and started saying I wanted to move there, she was just like ‘Finish mandatory school’ and we moved together [after I graduated]. I moved back to Linköping when I was 25, because Stockholm is a big metropolitan place and it’s not fun living in those places if you don’t have money. Now I’m in Stockholm again; it’s more fun now I can afford it!”

HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, FEET ON THE GROUND

“I learned the hard way in the late 90s that wanting to play 80s-inspired death metal with my band Repugnant was     painfully out of touch with what was going on at the time. It broke my heart; I wanted us to be signed to Roadrunner and support Slayer. That never happened unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately, as it kept me grounded for a few more years and if those things had happened maybe I wouldn't be here today.”

TAKE CHANCES, BUT STAND YOUR GROUND

“Repugnant had a close shave with success. We signed to the label Hammerheart, which at the time felt like we’d made it because the first thing they did was take us out on our first tour, supporting the American band Macabre. They were a favourite band of ours - still are, and whenever we play Chicago they come to the shows - and at that point it felt like we might be going somewhere, but we quickly parted ways with Hammerheart because we couldn’t agree. It felt like our chance and we’d blown it.”

NOT ALL 80S BANDS WERE CREATED EQUAL

“With Crashdiet, we never really went beyond our home. I can’t say how many shows we did, but I don’t think it was more than a handful. For me especially there was conflict with the singer, Dave Lepard. We were friends, but he clearly wanted to take his band into some sort of glam-sleaze direction, whereas when I think of ‘glam’ I’m more Hanoi Rocks and Guns N’ Roses - never, ever the other bands. I know Poison kinda came before a lot of the latecomers, but to me they were repellent. Dave wanted to go all neon and I wanted it so that if we were glam, we’d be Hanoi Rocks meets Lords Of The New Church or The Dead Boys. I don’t want to be fucking Stryper! Fuck that!”

THERE’S NO POINT TRYING TO FOLLOW FASHION

“It was a confusing time in the early 2000s – rock was all of a sudden in fashion because of bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs. Everyone was always looking for the next big rock band and in Sweden The Hives were huge, as were The Soundtrack Of Our Lives, The Hellacopters, Backyard Babies...so many rock bands! But there we were in Subvision, influenced by The Dead Boys, with a little-too-long hair, leather jackets, just a little too ‘metal’... yuck! You’re supposed to be more indie; heavy metal is about having the biggest dick and indie is the opposite.”

FIRST IMPRESSIONS REALLY DO COUNT

“I hated The Strokes when they first came out. Back then, everyone described them as being so natural, that they weren’t interested in being rock stars, and I was like, ‘No. They didn’t wake up looking like that.' They chose to do that to be rock stars. And they can really play! Then when First Impressions Of Earth came out it was like, ‘There you go! That's what they really sound like! After that, I loved The Strokes, because they were showing they actually did love the music, but a lot of indie rockers treated it like it was their sell-out record.”

HAVE A VISION IN MIND

“Ghost started with a song, Stand By Him, which ultimately came out on our first record. I wrote it spontaneously, as an experiment - almost a joke, if you will, in 2006. When I recorded it the first time, I had no equipment in my home, so I had to go to a friend’s house. We did this very rough demo. He said it was great. He’d been in Subvision, Repugnant and Crashdiet with me, but we’d stopped playing together. He was like, ‘Can we form a new band?’ and I was like, ‘This song is the only thing I have. If I can come up with two more songs and there’s a pattern, then of course.’ But they needed to be as playful and spontaneous, and sure enough they were.”

PRESSURE CAN DO WONDERS

“Around 2008, when Ghost were first getting properly started, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant with twins. I never said it out loud, but I was preparing for my dream not coming true - maybe I wouldn’t become a rock star, I’d never be successful... So I had to at least have something that I could live with, a hobby that I could feel strongly about and get all my inclinations filtered through. I wanted to play metal, but also write pop music, have this horror rock show with theatre... Still taking inspiration from Venom pictures in 1982 where they looked like bikers surrounded by smoke and red lights. Ghost felt like a combination of all those things. Lo and behold, when I didn’t have all the time in the world, like I had before and gotten nowhere, when I could only put so much effort in, everything changed.”

THE MYTHOS IS NICE, BUT ONLY THE MUSIC MATTERS

“It was so weird, being threatened with a ‘reveal’ [Tobias’s public identity was revealed after ex-members took legal action against him in 2017I, as if people knowing who I was would be such a turn-off that they’d never listen to Ghost again. Here I am, most of my life wanting to be known, but then I was fighting to be unknown? What a paradox!”

ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES

“I’ve always tried to be like a general – have a goal, like, ‘Let’s take that castle’, but knowing that things can change in the field. You need to conduct yourself with a certain level of elasticity. I know I’m a control freak and want things to be done in a certain way, but I’m also aware things never work out that way.”

CHALLENGE YOURSELF

“One of the biggest weaknesses with modern metal - and horror - is that it’s being created and curated by people who only like that thing, so it becomes regurgitation. The best horror movies I’ve seen - Jaws, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, The Exorcist, The Omen - were made by people who never made horror films elsewhere. They wouldn’t limit themselves. If you don’t like other things, that’s fine, but if you ever feel stuck creatively it might just be that you’re sticking too close to home. I can’t even imagine just sticking to one lane these days.”

[queenimmadolla]

Do you think some of Eddie peers are jealous that he’s got wife and 3 kids at home, sure Eddie feel into the rock and roll lifestyle but he didn’t let partying, groupies or drugs consume him, he’s got a loving wife and adorable kids waiting for him and they see that all of eddies love and devotion is for his family and music. Eddies just like “I do my job, rock out and go home”

Say he got invited to a big after party where he’ll party with Ozzy or Metallica but he declines because he just found out his kids are having their own Wrestler Mania back at the hotel room and he can’t miss that again

Or Eddie takes you to the party and y’all are getting approach and people like your relationship vibe and yall are getting hit on that you get both get a invitation to go to a “different party” in a hotel room and it goes over your head like “oh actually we aren’t staying long we gotta get back before the new Simpsons episode start”

Or when the band gets interviewed we see the kids in the background and the world gets to see Eddie being the best dad and loving husband. Every 80/90’s musician in the rock/metal scene are single, loves to party, and is reckless so Eddie was a change they weren’t expecting.

Sooo….You’re not gonna be very happy with me. Let’s go through this together and hopefully you wont hate me too much because it does get better.

Yes, Eddie’s peers do experience a little jealousy at the family he has, the constant love surrounding him—but he does succumb to the partying, drugs….and almost a groupie (THIS WILL BE TOUCHED ON MORE IN THE FIC IM PERFECTING, DONT THROW THE TOMATOES). He does his job, rocks out, and sometimes he craves reaping the rewards (drugs and parting and soaking it all in—not the groupies, that’s a related situation but not a part of what he craves) of his success. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity, he gets caught up in it. And it eats at him because he also knows his wife and his beautiful kids are also a once in a lifetime opportunity. That’s what kicks his ass back into gear.

It’s a life that you enjoy sometimes, love being on his arm, at his side, watching him glow underneath all those flashing lights. That confident smirk on his face, he belongs. It’s completely his element, what you knew he was always meant to do. And for the most part, you love being his wife, the wife of a Rockstar. How he’s always ravenous for you, the way he handles you when he’s fresh off the stage—be stadium stage or a some big fancy hall stage for an award ceremony—the parties he takes you to, the material things, not having to work your ass off to survive anymore, not having to work at all. You hate how women literally throw themselves at him, constantly expose themselves to him (the amount of flashing is INSANE, you see more titties than you ever did in the girls’ locker room back in high l when you’re tucked under his arm) but he only ever has eyes for you (shhh, we’re not talking about the groupie rn, that will be explained and you will understand).

And sometimes, being the wife of a Rockstar is hard. The tabloids are relentless, he tours the world and you stay with the kids, he’s doing coke with his pals and their gals while you’re washing the dishes halfway across the world. He’s partying after tour nights, you’re reading bedtime stories. You’re the wife of a Rockstar alright, and while he doesn’t have a mistress, sometimes the world acts as one. Sometimes the world gets him more than you do and he forgets that. Sometimes you don’t want to be the wife of a rockstar. You just want to be Eddie’s wife.

He gets there though, he gets to the points you’re talking about. Maybe not all of them, but he doesn’t become that messy playboy the world wants him to be. Still looks like a bad boy, but interviewers always note in articles they write, about the toys lingering around the house. Empty spaces on the walls, tables and shelves that had no doubt held picture frames prior to the journalists’ arrival, he was intent on keeping every precious moment and memory with his family private and away from the vicious prying eyes of the public. It’s interesting for you to read, because the first thought of an outsider’s mind is maybe something along the lines of Eddie not being sentimental or ashamed of the family, when it’s the entire opposite.

He starts ditching parties early to go back home and party with his favorite people before their bedtime (and then party with you all night long), starts having you and the kids closer during his shows again (you used to come to a few when Corroded Coffin made it bring, would bring the kids, until the shows got even bigger somehow, rowdier and fans get invasive). its difficult, especially with having to wrangle Maple—but Eddie doesn’t mind it when she runs onto the stage. if he’s feeling particularly nice, he’ll share her with the crowd for a song—but not much longer than that. He’s stingy with his family, protective, doesn’t need people thinking they can throw their unwanted opinions about his own damn kids out there—he’s assaulted people over it. And that’s not to say he hasn’t flaunted all of you, either. Fame is such a bittersweet accomplishment, he wants to show you all off to the world and sometimes he does, but the world is not kind, so he’s gotta keep you close and away from the cameras. He struggles with the back and forth a lot.

Again, the media is not kind to him, even while watching him be a father. But a couple of years from then, when his kids are older, the media/internet/etc. will pull up the photos/videos of him from the past with his kids, being so tender and playful with them. Loving. And he’ll be properly appreciated by them then. The two of you will have risen to be one of Hollywood’s golden couples, by then too. Heavily romanticized—and they’re not wrong.

It gets messy, gets cleaned up, gets messy, gets cleaned up, stays relatively clean. That’s the late 90s and Y2K, baby 😎

[shadysadie]

Hot take: the Wittebanes were not Puritans

So since Hollow Mind came out there have been a lot of jokes about how the Belos is a crusty old Puritan. And while he is certainly crusty and old, I don’t think he was a Puritan.

I understand why everyone jumps there, when we think of Witch Hunts in Colonial America the very first thing that comes to mind is the Salem Witchcraft Trials. However, the Salem Witchcraft Trials began in 1692, that is 80 years after Masha says the Wittebros showed up in Gravesfield, and 30 years after the events of Elsewhere and Elsewhen.

If Masha’s information is correct, (which it might not be but we’ll get to that) then Caleb and Philip arrived in Gravesfield in 1613, which is closer in time to the settlement of Jamestown (1607) than the Salem Witchcraft Trials. 

The Pilgrims didn’t even land at pride rock until 1620, seven years after the Wittebros arrived in Gravesfield. The Mayflower Pilgrims were really the group responsible for creating the idea of religious charters. They specifically wanted to leave England to create their own religious society. Many other groups followed, (notably the Massachusetts Bay Colony, which later became the home of the aforementioned Salem Witchcraft Trials) but the Mayflower Pilgrims were the first group of religious extremists who came to America looking for their Zion. 

Prior to that, the motivation to settle the “New World” was mainly financial. Ships were chartered through the Virginia Company. Which as we all remember from our favorite wildly inaccurate and problematic 90s Disney movie, the Virginia Company was in it for the money. The New World had resources and Britian wanted them, damnit, Glory, God, and Gold and the Virginia Company.

That meant, if Caleb and Philip really did arrive in Gravesfield in 1613, their family likely made the trip for financial gain, not religion. If that’s the case they were less likely a member of an obscure group of religious extremists, and more likely to be either Protestant like King James and Queen Elizabeth. (They could have also been Roman Catholic, evidence for that comes later).

“But”, you say, “weren’t Puritans the ones persecuting witches at the time?”

Yes and no. 

In the Americas, Witch Hunts will forever be linked to Puritans, but in Witch Hunting long outdates the Puritans. King James himself, was a witch hunting fanatic, he personally oversaw hundreds of witchtrials. He wrote books about finding witches, and it was specifically the King James endorse translation of the Bible that features the infamous “thou shalt not suffer a witch to live” (in many prior translations the word witch is something more along the line of “sinner” or “evil doer”). By many estimates, upwards of 1500 people were executed for witchcraft as a result of his reign. If we are going with Masha’s 1613 timeline, the brothers would have left England smack dab in the middle of his reign, right after the King James Bible was published.

(^this GIF has nothing to do with the Owl House, I just love sassy Gay King James in his bird mask, look at this cocky ass bastard, you know him and Belos would have been genocide buddies)

However, I can’t pretend to be focused on some semblance of historical accuracy and take Masha’s information at face value, even in the context of the show it wouldn’t add up because according to the sign we see in Yesterday’s Lie, Gravesfield was established in 1635. 

(Granted there is a difference between a settlement and a town, it is possible that 1635 was when Gravesfield was officially acknowledged as a town and the boys just lived there pre-establishment). 

However, in the name of historical accuracy, I have to assume Masha got the date wrong, because the English didn’t even settle in Conneticut until the 1630s. The Conneticut Witch Trials began in the 1640s. By this timeline and demographic, the likelihood of Caleb and Philip being Puritans goes up by a lot. 

However, if we look at Philip’s clothes an his goals, there are still signs that don’t point to Puritanism. First look at the clothes Caleb and Philip wear as children:

Philip’s pants are red and Calebs are green. While it is a myth that Puritans could only wear black, the colors that they were allowed to incorporate into their wardrobe were typically still neutrals (dark yellows and beiges). Green would be pushing it, and red would be unbelievably bold.

Additionally, the ruffles on Philip’s shirt in the journal and Jacob’s book, would have been seen as incredibly vain.

 The blue/black coat that Caleb wore in the puppet show, and Philip later wears in Elsewhere and Elsewhen and King’s Tide has gold buttons and gold embroidery. Gold and Silver accessories of any kind would have been considered incredibly sinful and conceited. 

Which would also make it really weird for a Puritan to choose gold to represent himself. Infact his whole emperor authentic is much more reminiscent of the Catholic Pope. His own role as the messenger of the Titan’s will is also very papal in nature.

Finally there is the term he uses, “Witch Hunter General” is an illusion to “Witch Finder General” which was a rank made up and used by Protestant Matthew Hopkins and not really used by any Puritans. Such a title would also probably have seemed pretty vain.

Now you might say, “It’s a fictional story, why does any of this matter?”

The answer is: It does not, but I am high and have ADHD and this was the rabbit hole I fell down.

[happysadyoyo]

Part 2 of this from the time loop au

It won't let me reblog and add another read more. Stupid imo.

@pillowspace I'm tempted to write some major hurt next but idk if you would be comfortable being tagged in that.

You're dangling several feet off the ground, rotating very slowly in a circle. Below you, the arcade machines look like multi colored tiles, the carpets erratic 90's pattern (sure this place may be 80's themed, but those patterns scream pre-grunge early 90's) rendered mute by the distance.

What's scarier though is the drop to the next floor down. You got yoinked at the edge of the stairs, so the tips of your shoes poke past the safety bannister. If you fell...

"Brat." Moon's voice crackles on the word. He jerks you higher, into the safety of the rafters as the DJ drags his massive form over the machines, pushing open the bathroom doors with one hand to feel inside. Instinctively, you cover your mouth with your hands, your panicked breathing sounding loud even to you.

Moon shakes you a little and you find yourself staring directly into the red LEDs of his eyes. That smile is ever present, but he looks less a jester and more a predator. A cat, crouched and ready to pounce. You've seen a cat catch a mouse before. You hadn't ever thought what it'd be like to be the mouse.

"Are you going to drop me?" You finally managed to ask, hands still over your mouth. Moon's head rotates, just a little too much for it to look like a human motion.

"No," he finally says, and that's a small relief. "Should put in time out. Naughty naughty brats belong in time out."

"I'm not naughty," you protest. Moon's silence is incriminating. "Okay, it's a little bad to be here after closing but. But..." You hesitate. "I'm trying to help you." It wasn't a lie. It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie.

"I don't need help," he snaps back, lifting you higher. Your stomach sinks, and for one second you're convinced he's about to fling you to the ground. Instead, he sets you on one of the rafters, releasing your sweater at last.

You grab at the metal girder, heart thumping hard against your rib cage. "You do though. Don't you want to see the kids again? Like before?"

There's no response, and your fingers are starting to hurt from how hard you're clinging. Below you, the DJ is moving, searching for you. His music is thrumming in time with your heart. Or maybe it's you adjusting to it, trying to find a new rhythm after Moon scared you out of your old one.

"Moon?" You want to reach out, but that meant letting go. Trusting yourself not to fall. Trusting him. Do you trust him?

You wobble a little as you let go, leaning into the empty space. Moon flinches away, a hand raising, but you still brush your fingers over his faceplate. "Moon, I am your friend," you insist. "You have to know that. You have to."

How do you explain that you know him, that you've met him three times already, and you know how to save him. Save Sun.

"You're the assistant," he says, and the growl is back in his voice. "You're my replacement. Not a friend." He pulls away from your hand, and then he's gone, zipping away, towards the atrium. Leaving you stuck in place as the music dies down, your eyes starting to itch.

Several loops later, you won't remember the terror of making your way back down to the arcade, fighting tears so you could see where you're going. The fear will be wiped out by exhaustion and pain, emotional and physical, experienced over and over. But for now, right now, this might be the most painful rejection in your life.

Because it's Moon. And you know him. You know he's not truly malicious, that there's something wrong. And he has to know too. Why else did he save you from the DJ? Why else is he not currently hunting you down as you make it back to the ground and walk on shaky legs to the elevator? He knows you're a friend. He has to.

By the time you make it home, the sun is starting to peak out from the horizon. You pull your curtains in your bedroom, collapsing into bed without taking your shoes off. And finally, you let yourself cry. You cry, burying your face in your pillows, curling up tight. You cry, and you think distantly of fictional characters who get trapped in time loops too. What sort of monster would dream of a world like this? To repeat the same thing over and over, only to fail time and time again. Being the only one who remembered.

You fall asleep slowly, and when you wake, it's well past noon. Your body feels heavy, your eyes crusty. There's the start of a headache, medicine withdrawal. It's been over 24 hours, and your body is warning you. Your ear hurts. You find your hearing aid, dead, buried in the sheets. You put it on the nightstand to charge.

When you check your sweater, you're not surprised to find some of the yarn had been stretched out of place, frayed and torn bits where Moon's fingers dug in. You'd have to fix it before your next shift. The kids loved your sweater, found it as safe and secure as you did.

Your Fazwatch is dead too. On the charger it goes, cell phone next. There's a text, but you don't bother checking it. You know it's work, asking you to come in today. You had, twice before. You slept through it today.

It's after you shower and you're toweling off that you notice the bruise on your shoulder. You touch it and wince, remembering hitting the arcade. You hadn't expected it to still be so tender. Maybe the warm water did something? You look at it better in the mirror, catching sight of your face. You look tired. And paler than normal? You poke at your eyebags, squinting, trying to remember what you looked like before this started happening.

Maybe you shouldn't go in tomorrow.

[queermania]

Ok so I have a real question not trying to start discourse or any thing. If Dean knew how he felt about Cas slash knew he liked men why was he always so weird about gay people. I can see a reading where Dean knew how he felt about Cas but not one where he knew he was bi

this is totally a fair question and i don't think there's any one True reading or interpretation of the show/characters so it really just depends on what version of events resonates the most with you. the way the picture makes the most sense to me is that dean is a guy who was raised in the 80s-90s in a hyper-masculine environment with zero stability. i think all of those puzzle pieces slotted into place in his brain in a way that said "sex with men is okay, feelings are not." a furtive hookup with a dude in a seedy bar bathroom is fine. going on a date with a guy is prohibited.

and the thing is that this is kind of true for dean when it comes to women as well. a one night stand is a-okay. falling in love and settling down is not. so, you take that sort of mentality and then apply all the homophobia of growing up in the eighties and the nineties and a life lived out of a car bouncing between truck stops and, well, you get a dean who is absolutely flabbergasted when confronted with the fact that not only are you allowed to want something romantic with a man, you're allowed to say it out loud to other people. you're allowed to have it.

dean wasn't weird about gay people, necessarily. he was weird about people who were able to just be themselves. he didn't know that was an option. also, i don't know about y'all but as a queer person who doesn't necessarily read as queer at a glance, i too get Very Awkward when confronted with another queer person in the wild and it's not because i'm homophobic. it's because oh! new friend! must send telepathic signals that me queer too! my behavior around other queer people in queer spaces does not match my behavior around other queer people in random public spaces. i'm embarrassing and i see that part of myself in dean lol.

and dean being weird about other people making comments about his perceived queerness, to me, is a very normal reaction for a closeted person (or even someone who is selectively and/or quietly out). you can be perfectly at peace with who you are and still not want to be clocked. like???? homophobia is not a thing of the past. dean grew up during the AIDS crisis. he was, what? nineteen years old when matthew sheppard was killed? his reactions to people insinuating he might be anything even close to queer make perfect sense for someone his age, living the life that he did.

also, like, here's the thing: i realized i was queer when i was about eleven and i freaked out about it for about a day and then promptly suppressed the whole thing because of a deeply traumatizing childhood. being queer was the least of my worries and there was never any time to unpack it and deal with it so i just didn't. and then when i was about nineteen i started to have queer sexual/romantic relationships but continued to suppress the fact that EYE was in fact queer because, again, i didn't really have the space to unpack it. it wasn't until i was about twenty-three and surrounded by other queer people (in a platonic way) that i finally felt safe to fully admit to myself and to other people that i was in fact queer. and then i never really did a whole coming out thing. i just... lived my life openly as a queer person and let other people figure it out.

my point in all this is that i feel like my general experience/trajectory lines up really well with how i view dean's. he had a very traumatic upbringing so while he knew he was attracted to men, he had no time or space to deal with it. that didn't stop him from having sex with men, but he never really unpacked what it actually meant. it wasn't until he was older and had openly queer friends that he felt safe enough to fully acknowledge that part of himself. and then.. that was it. he just lived his life as a queer man. like, i feel like we actually watched that happen over the course of the show???

most importantly, i cannot handle any reading where everyone else knows dean is queer but dean does not know himself. i especially loathe the idea that sam Knows and has to explain dean's own sexuality to himself. that is so ugly. dean is a very self-aware person. you could even argue he is perhaps too self-aware at times.

anyway, this is all obviously just a watsonian explanation of dean's relationship to his queerness. it doesn't even touch on the doylist stuff but that's a whole can of worms i'm not really interested in opening on tumblr dot edu right now.

so, yeah. that's my personal reading.

[prismatic-bell]

So I just reblogged a post that reminded me of something I’ve wanted to say for awhile:

90% of the workforce at my job is not white. Possibly more than 90%.

Over 80% are Latine. The next-largest block is immigrants from Rwanda and Congo (most don’t consider themselves refugees, although some are). I’m estimating about 10% of our workforce.

Next is white. Then pan-tribal Native American, then our single Vietnamese dude.

Out of a crew of approximately 35-40 people in my section, only three are white, and I’m one of them.

The reason I bring this up is because I also see the number of people who come in and then find they can’t or don’t want to do manufacturing work and wash out, and…they’re mostly not white either, but I’d say any generic white hire is about twice as likely to leave as any generic nonwhite hire.

So the next time you hear some asshole complaining about how the immigrants are taking all the jobs, a few rebuttals you can make courtesy of someone who really is in a field that’s mostly immigrants:

1) have you actually applied or are you just sat on your ass wanting to bitch?

2) did you actually show up when hired or did you decide the work was beneath you?

Because a hell of a lot of folks seem very surprised to see a young white person running a machine at my job. They have the automatic take that most white people don’t want the hours (it’s 12 hours a day, on your feet) or the risk (you can absolutely die or lose body parts in my job, and also you’re playing with chemicals all day) or the discomfort (you know that one scene in Willy Wonka where all the ladies at the shelling factory have on those gowns and nets? Yeah, it really is like that, and it’s hot as fuck). The assumption is that whites are rarely willing to do get-your-hands-dirty “menial” work, even for $20 an hour.

And one last thing.

I’m considered EXTREMELY VALUABLE because I can train in both English and Spanish. Far from an immigrant “taking” a job, I was DESPERATELY WANTED in this job. The hiring manager actually said she was concerned I was overqualified and I had to convince her I meant to stay. You want to go far in manufacturing? Be willing to get dirty and work hard and the sky, not your skin color, is the limit.

(Actually, one last-last thing. One of my Rwandan coworkers was having a conversation with me and mentioned that he really hates how western media talks about Africa in general, but Rwanda in particular. As he put it: “yes, there is war. So? We still have beautiful things.” He’s actually really proud of where he’s from. So from me, on his behalf: I encourage you to seek out non-mainstream writing on Rwandan history and culture. There is so much that never gets explored by our media because it suits them to push a narrative.)

[brooooswriting]

Prompt list

My first prompt list and I’m honestly not quite sure how this works. But send me a prompt and a character (you can find the characters I write for in my guidelines) :) I’m happy about request and recommendations

1. “I’m not stupid, who is s/he?

2. “I’m not flirting with anyone”

3. A: “We have a problem”

B: “no, you got a problem. I got you”

4. “If I could, I would kiss all your scars away”

5. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this”

6. “I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you”

7. “Do you want to stay tonight?”

8. “I killed him and I’d gladly kill him again”

9. “Don’t panic, but I think there’s someone in our house”

10. “How bad is it?”

11. “Cmon, I’ll carry you”

12. “I can’t get up”

13. “I threw up”

14. “You’re burning love”

15. “I can protect myself”

16. “Don’t touch me! GET OFF”

17. “You look beautiful”

18. “You left me. I stayed, I waited”

19. “You have the most amazing eyes”

20. “How’d you this scar?”

21. “We have time”

22. “You can still use your legs, so don’t say that I was jealous again”

23. “If even one of them touches you again, I’ll make sure they aren’t able to ever again”

24. “I’m overreacting?”

25. “Don’t cover my bite marks, or I might just have to add more”

26. “Wow, you really thought you could trust me?”

27. “You belong to me”

28. “I dare you”

29. “You can’t restart life once you make a mistake”

30. “You should be with someone who values you”

31. “I do not like (x), I like you you idiot”

32. “(X) doesn’t understand what they’re missing”

33. “If I was your girlfriend, I’d …”

34. “Can you picture me and you together?”

35. “My grandma thinks we are dating”

36. “Can’t sleep again”

37. “It’s past midnight, why are you still up?”

38. “Let’s get you some sleeping pills”

39. “She’s not your property”

40. “There is us, there never was”

41. “Keep lying and I’m out”

42. “Is this all I was to you?”

43. “You thought this was real?”

44. “All they ever did was take advantage of you. Why can’t you see that?”

45. “Tell me a story”

46. “It’s time to move on”

47. “I’m gonna take a shower, you should join me. You know, save water”

48. “Calm down! You’re scaring me”

49. “I’m done trying to fix you”

50. “I see your face everywhere… don’t you understand that?”

51. “I wasn’t enough for you, you made that clear”

52. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake to. Go back to sleep my love”

53. “Can I borrow your hoodie?”

54. “It kills me to imagine you with somebody else”

55. “You don’t own me”

56. “Can you come and get me?”

57. “You’re freezing, let’s go inside. I don’t want you to catch a cold”

58. “I don’t want you to be disappointed”

59. “It’s cute, this thing you’re doing”

60. “You should eat something”

61. “Who did this to you?!”

62. “You look like you need a hug”

63. “I love you, but you need to shut up”

64. “They’re coming. Kiss me”

65. “I’m flirting with you”

66. “I’m just so tired all the time”

67. “Would you like to take a nap with me?”

68. “Can I braid your hair?”

69. “You’re not your past”

70. “That’s not what I meant and you know it”

71. “You can cry, there’s no shame in it”

72. “You don’t do that with me”

73. “You’re not making sense dear”

74. “You feel like home”

75. “Is s/he really just a friend?”

76. “I promise I am trying”

77. “I can fix it, I will fix it”

78. “I can’t breathe around you”

79. “Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want”

80. “If you were any less threatening, you’d be a dandelion”

81. “I just adore you”

82. “Did I do good?”

83. “Let’s run away then”

84. “You shouldn’t trust me”

85. “What if you get hurt?”

86. “I like to do it for the plot”

87. “You are ticklish, that’s so cute”

88. “Can you warm me? I’m freezing”

89. “If you steel the blanket I’m gonna put my cold feed on you”

90. “This is low, even for you”

91. “I promise it didn’t mean anything”

92. “How much cold medicine did you take?”

93. “Get behind me”

94. “Touch her one more time and I’m gonna kill you”

95. “I want a family… with you”

96. “You’re more than a one night stand”

97. “Say that one more time and I’ll whoop your ass”

98. “My family likes you more than they like me”

99. “Every day feels like a burden”

100. “I may be a hero but I’d end the world for you”

[the-dove-is-recuperating]

In the past few years I’ve been seeing increasingly outlandish takes regarding the MCU’s role in Bucky’s (and to a lesser extent Steve’s) characterization, both in the movies and the comics. They all start from a premise that I generally agree with:

The Captain America movies set up what is in essence a love story, romantic or otherwise.

In view of that love story, Steve’s Endgame ending makes very little sense and was at least partially motivated by the Russos’ homophobic reaction to the Stucky fandom.

The MCU’s portrayal of Steve and Bucky has since affected their portrayal in the comics.

However, people seem to have lost sight of the fact that Stucky as an even remote possibility has only ever been an MCU thing. But because so much of the fandom proceeds from the basic idea that “movies bad, comics good,” I have now seen multiple people claim that the movies made the comics homophobic … because there is still no Stucky in the comics?

As someone who loves Bucky in all his iterations and especially the way these iterations have impacted each other, I just really want to set the record straight:

Stucky is an MCU thing. Soft Bucky is, at least originally, an MCU thing. Bucky as Steve’s only reason for doing anything is … you guessed it, an MCU thing.

You can’t decry the MCU bleeding into comics and simultaneously complain that Steve is still hanging out with Sharon Carter. I mean, you can, but that would be just fucking silly. Steve/Sharon is the comics doing its own thing, without any regard for the MCU! In fact the very reason that CA:CW’s sad attempt at making Steve/Sharon happen failed so abysmally was because Bucky had already taken her place by then.

The original comics’ Bucky was a little kid who (for whatever unfathomable reason) was allowed to fight in WWII. Later on, Ed Brubaker aged him up to teenager and created what was in essence a new character: the Winter Soldier. MCU went further and blended that new version of Bucky with a minor (but pretty revolutionary) character from the 80s: an openly gay Jewish man called Arnie Roth.

Arnie’s backstory, revealed in a two-page flashback in Captain America #270, goes something like this: growing up in New York he was scrawny Steve’s bigger and stronger best friend and protector from bullies. As a young adult he was also ostensibly a ladies’ man, while Steve decidedly was not. Sound familiar?

However, the similarities end there: Arnie and Steve drifted apart before Steve became Cap, and while they briefly reconnected during the war, they did not actually fight together. Plotwise, Arnie does end up filling the same damsel-in-distress slot that MCU’s Bucky does, but his role in Steve’s life never becomes as outsized as MCU Bucky’s. Steve has his love of his life (at the time), and Arnie his.

Moving on to Winter Soldier era, I have now seen people claim that Brubaker aged Bucky up to set up Stucky, and I can hardly express just how patently absurd that take is. Both Steve and Bucky in his runs are almost aggressively straight in that their respective relationships with Sharon and Natasha play a big role in their lives.

What’s more, the early 2000s Brubaker was, unfortunately but unsurprisingly, not free of the period-typical homophobia. In his “director’s cut” commentary he says that his main problem with “Cap in the late 80s and early 90s” was that “they [had] completely sissified” him. Now, what he meant was that it was an unrealistic portrayal of Steve as someone completely unwilling to kill, given what he must have had to do in the war. But that wording is hardly a hallmark of someone who could even conceive of Stucky back then. That he has now, almost twenty years later, liked some Stucky tweets or whatever is completely irrelevant. His views have evolved, and you can see it in his more recent writing too (which I love, by the way). And he must recognize that the MCU Steve and Bucky are different characters from the ones he wrote. You can’t possibly write comics for Marvel and not have made peace with characters having multiple, sometimes conflicting iterations.

[ineffable-rohese]

Good Omens, or the Disruption of Gay = Death

CW: historical homophobic violence and death

@queerfables recently wrote an excellent meta on slash fiction and the concept of "Taking Away the Glass". I had some thoughts, which I was going to add as a reblog, but this seems to spiraled away from the original post, so I'm posting this on its own, but I'm referencing their ideas and references, so maybe go read that first.

This is especially for those of you who are, say, under 25 (which is apparently most of Tumblr), and who haven't had much opportunity to learn queer history. Let me say, I'm not a queer historian. I am a queer who has lived through recent history and can reasonably clearly remember the last at least 35 years of it, and I was fortunate to have had schooling that did include some earlier queer history and didn't shy away from queer topics. (I recognize now what a revolutionary bit of teaching that was.)

I also want to acknowledge that I'm writing from a place of relative privilege, as a white cis woman living in a progressive part of North America, and that some of what is history for me is still life for others. I am speaking from my own personal experiences here -they are by no means universal. But I think it's important for us to share our stories, so this is part of mine.

When You're Dying in America, at the End of the Millenium

Fables quotes a video by thingswithwings as saying "Homosexuality, or just loving touch between two people of the same gender, is equivalent to death in this media narrative." In the 1980s and 1990s, when Good Omens was written and first published, that wasn't a metaphor. When I was a baby proto-queer, what I heard about being gay was that it killed you.

My formative memories of what it meant to be gay weren't pride parades or even riots. It was gay men dying by the thousands and governments and religious leaders ignoring them at best, and welcoming their deaths at worst. To be gay, and a gay man in particular, was to be marked for death. It wasn't until a straight white boy who got it from a blood transfusion died that AIDS became something that "normal" people had any empathy for and governments really started to act.

The gay representation I rember in the media as a moderately sheltered child from the 80s and 90s with left-of-center middle class white parents was news about AIDS, Philadelphia (death from AIDS), Ellen (cancelled after she came out), and eventually RENT (desperately trying not to die of AIDS or capitalism). I knew a very small handful of out gay adults, and no trans adults at all.

My first time being in a large group of queer people was a vigil for Matthew Sheppard, who had been beaten and left to die tied to a fence. I remember being terrified. I wasn't out yet. I knew people who hated us might be there, this group of mostly young queer people gathering with candles to cry over a boy we'd never met, and over the many others who had died just for being what we were. I'd never even kissed a girl yet. I only knew my queerness in relation to death.

In the last decade or so of the 20th century, being queer was about grasping any bit of joy you could from a world that very clearly would prefer you were dead. It was defiance and anger and fear every time you held your love's hand, or kissed them in public. My second date with the person who would become my spouse was interrupted by some dude in a truck shouting slurs at us was we walked down a quiet street. We laughed it off - no one had thrown anything, or beaten us, so it wasn't a big deal. It should have been a big deal, but we couldn't let it be. When you're marked for misery and death, you can't let the little things get to you. You just hold each other's hands as tightly as you can and defiantly keep walking.

An Angel and a Demon and Immortality

Good Omens was written during some of the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic (which is still ongoing, by the way), before there were effective treatments, when gay = death. It is a mainstream, mass-market book. It wouldn't be shelved in the "Gay and Lesbian" section at the book store, it would be shelved with humour, or possibly fantasy.

And yet, here we have these two beings. An angel and a demon, with an unlikely friendship, and who are very clearly written as gay. Or, at least, as percieved as gay by outside observers. Aziraphale in particular is (in one of my favorite lines) "gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide," and "THE southern pansy" (self-proclaimed). Together, they are "consenting bicycle repairmen" (Neil Gaiman's explanation for context) who Anathema was safe with the whole time.

Whether you caught the subtextual shippyness of their relationship (and to be honest, I only did a little when I first read it), they were very obviously written as precieved-gay characters, in a story where their precieved gay-ness wasn't the cause of their downfall. Yes, an 11 year old calls Aziraphale a faggot. But he doesn't get arrested or beaten of killed - he just gets covered in cake. And he loves cake! The attempted insult just rolls off him like water off a duck's back, because he has no pressure not to be visibly gay.

Becuase, see, unlike us humans, unlike his gay contemporaries, he is not marked for death. He's an angel. He's immortal. Even more, he was made by God, exactly how God wanted, presumably, and that is intelligent, English, and so very gay.

Niel and Terry are saying so much here. You can be gay and loved. You can be gay and have a deep relationship. You can be gay because that's how God made you. You can be gay forever, through all time, with someone beside you, finding joy in your life.

You can be gay and not die. You can be gay and live.

[n30nwrites]

Bring Me To Life (Prologue)

Summary: Against all odds, you've survived. Having graduated high school and moved out of your Parent's place, your sibling decides to join you for the summer, and your first stop is Santa Cruz in California, you had always wanted to live there anyways so why not now that you're experiencing freedom? One problem: This doesn't look like the 21st century, instead it looks like a scene from your favorite movie, in fact it looks exactly like your favorite movie.

How are you meant to survive in the murder capital of the world? With vampires of all things, and your sibling hates this movie.

a/n: prologue for this fanfic, this will also be on AO3 and wattpad. Preface for this, fuck Max :}

Reader: Male Reader, uses Y/N, third person.

Oc uses they/she pronouns. Will be using both, Y/n refers to them as both sibling and sister, which is okay

Fandom: The Lost Boys

Pairing(s): Michael Emerson x Reader, Paul x Reader, Dwayne x Reader, Marko x Reader, David x Reader, Sam Emerson x Nonbinary! Oc, Edgar Frog x Nonbinary! Oc, Alan Frog x Nonbinary! Oc,

It was one thing moving the United States to California by yourself, it was another thing bringing your 15-year-old sibling with you, not to live with you, but to stay just until summer was over and school was starting again, your parents believed it would help with their 'rebellious streak'. That streak being that they just don't care enough to do class work and keep staying up all night playing video games, therefore they fall asleep in class.

Nik had a firm belief in changing the radio whenever any song that they didn't like came on, and you had a firm belief that your sibling needed to shut up because you liked your music and if you had to drive without some good tunes you would probably turn into the next psycho on the news.

You two did listen to similar music, but for this trip it was specifically 80s and 90s songs that you shouted loudly, windows were rolled down because the air conditioner in your car didn't work. It was small and shitty and cost a year of pay, thankfully your parents were there to let you live rent free. One of the few things you could be thankful for.

"Do you know how to be quiet?" Your sibling groaned, their jacket wrapped around their body despite how hot it was, "Put on Hozier, or Doja, hell I'll even take Taylor Swift over this... What is this shit?"

'Cry little sister'

"I know damn well you aren't talking to me about my music taste-"

'Thou shall not fall'

"What's wrong with mine?"

Come, come to your brother

"It's literally only tiktok songs, half of them aren't even good."

'Thou shall not die'

"At least I don't say 'They sung this on Glee'"

'Unchain me, sister'

"Every hot, mentally ill, gay person went through a Glee faze."

Thou shall not fear

"I didn't"

'Love is with your brother'

"That's why I said hot."

'Thou shall not kill'

You quickly stuck your tongue out in a childish way, before looking back into the road, ignoring your sibling who mumbled and repeated your words. "Theres a reason we're heading to Santa Cruz. Found a nice place right near the beach so we can-"

"Sleep all day, and party all night. I know, you've said it hundreds of times." Nik had heard the phrase from you so many times, you had tried to show them your favorite movie, even almost tricked them into it, but they were quick to leave the room. They simply hated it because you loved it, something you were forced to accept about them.

The car ride became silent as you got closer, to fill it, Nik had turned up the radio as it switched to a different song.

"Finally some MJ." The beat of Billie Jean came in, causing you to start tapping your hands to it as your merged.

"She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene" The two of you belted the lyrics, switching over the 80s playlist to one consistently of Michael Jackson. "I said don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one" you shook your head, "Who will dance" you turned to your sibling and sung the words to them before turning back, repeating it each time you sung, "on the floor" again "in the round?" and then turned back, "She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round"

The house that you bought with a loan wasn't the biggest, at least not compared to your parents house. Two bedrooms, One master and One guest, and 1 in a half bathrooms. The half bathroom was connected to the master bedroom, which Nik tried to get but was quickly locked out. They would be staying in the guest room, while you set it up they would help. They were also supposed to attempt to find a job this summer, as their parents wanted Nik to learn some responsibility. 

"Okay, change outfits, shower if you need to! We are going to the beach!" You were excited, thrumming almost. You felt as if you belonged.

"I'm tired."

"Party all night!" You yelled, grabbing a suit case filled with your clothes. The two of you didn't have a lot. A few suitcases filled with clothes, and then a few boxes for the rooms. You didn't even have mattresses yet.

"Let's just sleep a bit." A nap did sound good, you didn't have the best sleep due to the anxiety about the drive.

"Fine, a nap! I'm setting an alarm." Nik went into your room, both of you grabbing the blankets and laying them on the floor, setting up some pillows and collapsing as soon as you could.

Instead of waking up to your alarm, you woke up to Nik shaking your shoulder, harsh rain hitting the window and the house was shaking.

"The doors are opening."

You stood up quick, running out of the bedroom to the backdoor refusing to close. You pushed against it but it quickly fell open, so you held the door. "Grab the heavy boxes." Nik followed through, pushing against the doors as lightning flashed. "It wasn't supposed to storm."

"Don't they get Hurricanes here." A siren went off, "Well-"

"Not another tornado." You groaned. You had your fair shair of them, being where your from. "We need to grab our shit, head to the basement."

The house shook again, you two grabbed your phones and chargers, rushing down into the basement that still had cobwebs. Nik almost ran upstairs at the sight of them, claiming they would rather take their chance with the tornado. You had to basically pulled them down as you two sat in the basement, the house shook as you two fell to the ground, hitting your heads.

Your eyes rolled back, your vision turns black as your body hits the ground. Your siblings hand lays against yours as their body falls onto you, and in that moment, you had gone through the impossible.

[spncupcake]

186 writing prompts //

I found this post earlier last year. OP deleted the post, but I had saved this. These are NOT my ideas - credits to OP.

Angst:

1. " Give me a chance. "

2. " Not you again.."

3. " Leave me alone."

4. " I don't love you anymore. "

5. "Why do you hate me? "

6. " Host the baby. "

7. " I thought you loved me. "

8. " I don't need you anymore."

9. " I can't believe you! '

10. " We cant keep this up forever. "

11. " You're a monster. "

12. " I hate you. "

13. " Don't leave me...

14. " You're a disappointment. "

15. " Don't die on me - Please."

16. " I never meant to hurt you. "

17. " Are you upset with me? "

18. " I wish i'd never met you. "

19. "I'm going to kill you! "

20. " Please don't hurt me like this."

21. ”Thanks for nothing. "

22. " Dont call this number again. "

23. " Why did you spare me? '

24. " You need to leave. "

25. " I'm sick. "

26. " I'm dying."

27. " I wish i'd never met you."

28. " I thought we were family!"

29. " There was never an us."

30. " So that's it? It's over? "

31. " I fucked up."

32. " I came to say goodbye. "

33. He's dead because of you. "

34. " I don't deserve to be loved. "

35. " About the baby... Its yours.

Love:

36. " I'm so in love with you. "

37. " Dance with me! "

38. " Isn't this amazing? "

39. " I wish we could stay like this forever. "

40. " Will you marry me? "

41. " I'm pregnant."

42. " I need a hug. "

43. " You're special to me. "

44. " I'm going to keep you safe. "

45. " Do you trust me? "

46. " Can I kiss you right now? "

47. " You're cute when you're angry. "

48. " I've liked you for awhile now. "

49. ~ Lets have a baby."

50. " We'd make such a cute couple."

51. " I want to take care of you. "

52. " Can we cuddle? "

53. " It's lonely here without you."

54. " I can't stand the thought of loosing you. "

55. " Shut up and kiss me already."

56. " Are you flirting with me? "

57. " Is that my shirt? "

58. " How did we get here? "

59. " You own my heart. "

60. " You'd be a great dad. "

61. " You'd be a great mom."

62. " I want to protect you. "

63. "Whats the matter? "

64. " You're so beautiful. "

65. " Did you do something different with your hair?”

66. " Is that a new perfume? "

67. " Stop being so cute. "

68. " You're making me blush! "

69. " You're teasing me again..."

70. " This is why I fell in love with you. "

71. " You're the best! "

72. " They're going to love you, don't worry! "

73. " Oh, Are you ticklish? "

74. " Of course I remembered! "

75. " You're one hell of a girl. "

76. " You're one hell of a guy. "

77. " Are you jealous? '

78. " Hold me and never let me go. "

79. " Stop hogging all the blankets! "

80. " Let’s run away together."

General:

81. " Catch me if you can! "

82. " I'm fine. "

83. " Are you drunk? "

84. " Are you high? "

85. " We cant go in there...

86. " Give it back! a

87. " Well this is just great. "

88. " Don't touch me."

89. " Not sure if you could tell, but l'm not exactly a people person. "

90. "This was fun - Lets do it again sometime!"

91. " I didn't do it! "

92. " I did it... "

93. I don't remember that! "

94. Well that's pretty rude of you to say."

95. " Get that thing away from me! "

96. " You owe me. "

97. " Do you believe in aliens? "

98. " Do you believe in ghosts? "

99. " Are you hitting on me? "

100. " Why are you naked? "

101. " You did what?!"

102. " You have... Superpowers? "

103. " Why are you bleeding? "

104. " Where did all these puppies come from?"

105. " Don't make me come over there myself! "

106. " That wasn't funny."

107. " This tastes horrible. "

108. " This is delicious! "

109. " Are you mad at me? "

110. " Stop ignoring me..."

111. " I love that show too! '

112. " Can I borrow that book of yours?"

113. " Lets blow this joint."

114. " Let me help you with that. "

115. " Take that back! "

116. " Wanna go see a movie with me? "

117. " No way, that's so lame. "

118. "What are you listening to? "

119. " I brought you your coffee."

120. " Don't fuck this up. "

121. " Run! "

122. " Lets run away together. "

123. " I haven't slept in four days..."

124. " Your turn to do the dishes. "

125. " Was I really that drunk? "

126. " Was I really that stoned? "

127. "Give me back my phone! "

128. " You're an asshole. "

129. " Are you cold? '

130. " This place gives me the creeps. "

131. " I swear my house is haunted. "

132. " Did you hear that? "

133. " It's just your imagination. "

134. " Just how stupid do you think I am? "

135. " Stop being such a baby."

136. " Go back to bed. "

137. " Are you okay? "

138. " I can take care of myself just fine."

139. " Thanks for helping me back there."

140. " Since when have we ever been friends? "

141. "What on earth are you wearing? "

142. " I can't feel my legs! "

143. " Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. "

144. " Put me down! "

145. " There's only one bed..."

146. " It isn't what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is..

147. " How did Hoose it? "

148. " I read your diary."

149. " This is awkward. "

150. " Didn't you read the sign? "

151. " Do you think you can teach me that?”

Below are NSFW prompts.

Please if you're rebloggling tell your followers if you're interested or not in taking these sorts of requests.

Sexual:

152. " Bite me. "

153. " Make me."

154. " Fuck me. "

155. " Stop teasing me so much..."

156. " Do you like it when I touch you like that?'

157. " Okay.. This is new."

158. “Want to head back to my place and have a little fun?”

159. "You're in trouble now. "

160. " What a pretty sight. "

161. " Bend over. "

162. " On your knees. "

163. " The food looks great but.. There's something much more delicious i'd like to eat right now. "

164. " Lay back. "

165. " Take off your clothes. "

166. " Well, fine; just this once."

167. " I'm waiting."

168. " You're so beautiful. "

169.  “As you wish."

170. "First one to make a noise looses."

171. " You have no idea what you do to me. "

172. " If you're bored; Wanna have sex? "

173. " Ive wanted this for so long. "

174. "Car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. "

175. "Can I touch you? '

176. "Open up."

177. "No strings attached. "

178. " Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? '

179. " Mine."

180. " The nights still young. "

181. "We cant do that here! "

182. " Behave."

183. What did you just say? "

184. " Good girl. "

185. " Good boy. "

186. " Come here."

[astrojoy]

From: Your next bf/gf

To: You

PAC

Envelope 1

Scorpio - Aries - Capricorn - Protective - "Til death do we part" - Raw love - Eye contact - Depth - Leather - Music - Lotus - Tornado - Magnets - 90s love vibes idk why

Envelope 2

Sagittarius - Gemini - Leo - Aquarius - Playful - Silly - Mischief - Teasing - Cuddles - Sharing things - Binge watching shows together - Brown dog - I had a vision of a heart shape fr - Modern vibes - Hint of 90's vibes like pile 1 - A relationship but it's a sitcom

Ps - For the top left note it says 'exciting' on the bottom word! Sorry about the editing

Envelope 3

Pisces - Aries - Venus energy - Capsules from those toy machines - 70s 80s energy for some reason - guitar - "Let's hug and stay like this forever - Sexual yet Sensual - Gift basket - Romantic dates // going to the movies // going to the beach // out for walks etc

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the pictures/images used in this tarot reading. I simply used them to transfer a message that was meant for you guys :3 your guides and intuition did all the guiding

[thydungeongal]

To be fair, I think there's a lot of nuance between "the OGL was always bad and everyone was a sucker to have trusted WotC to uphold it" and "the OGL is the best thing to happen to D&D and D&D will die without it."

First of all, a bit of context: the OGL wasn't published purely out of the kindness of Wizards of the Coast's hearts. It was a decision informed by the desire to make D&D into the absolute biggest game on the market. The prevailing logic of the time was that while any growth to the RPG hobby in general would feed back to the industry leader, the fact that the market was fractured and there were so many competing systems meant that there would be resistance towards people shifting to D&D from other games. The idea was that the lower the barrier to creating D&D compatible content the less support there would be in the market for other systems and the more people would gravitate towards D&D.

Or at least that's what Ryan Dancey, one of the architects of the OGL, claimed at the time. This is all from an interview with him, via the Internet Archive.

But the important thing to remember that the context in which the OGL was made was also one where the RPG industry had seen multiple instances of litigation because games and products had been seen as infringing on established copyrights. While it's easy for us to say that the OGL was a useless document only motivated by corporate greed, it ignores the historical context in which the OGL was first introduced: an environment where just seven years before Palladium Books had taken legal action against Wizards of the Coast due to copyright infringement. Even though with the benefit of hindsight it's easy to say that rules and mechanics aren't copyrightable and law specifically allows you to claim compatibility, the actual lived experience in the RPG community at the time was that ligitous companies could and would sue you for something as simple as claiming compatibility. Hell, TSR was supposedly so litigious in the 80s and 90s that people came up with the backronym "They Sue Regularly" for them.

So in that context the OGL, even if it technically didn't grant any rights people didn't already have based on existing law (and even on this there doesn't seem to be a consensus), was a massive game changer: it was permission from a company to use their house system to produce compatible content without having to fear limitation!

The OGL was always made with the intent of making D&D the biggest game on the market and to diminish the market share of competitors on the market. But it also marked a huge change in the industry towards how large publishers approached third party content.

But between the d20 bubble bursting in the early 2000s and the introduction of 4e and the GSL and the ensuing loss of a lot of customer goodwill and most third party support, the OGL had also become something of a problem for WotC. It had managed to create their biggest competitor and allowed an independent market to emerge where people used it to create material that did not feed back into the official D&D ecosystem (see the whole of the OSR and any number of d20-based games that are so distinct from D&D that any claims of compatibility are strenuous at best). In light of this I think it's understandable why it took some time for Wizards to adopt the OGL for D&D 5e (5e came out in 2014; it wasn't until 2016 until parts of 5e were made available through the OGL) but also why their new management seem to want to unauthorize the original OGL: the OGL was created in a completely different context and the current prevailing wisdom at WotC is that D&D should be a walled garden that WotC controls, because the OGL in its original form has caused WotC problems down the line (while I do think it could be said to have achieved its original goal of making D&D the market leader and creating a lot of resistance towards the use of other game systems). The prevailing opinion is no longer that vibrant third party support creates demand for the core product (and I mean, that was always something of a flaw in the original plan: once you've sold everyone a Player's Handbook, they no longer need to keep buying it no matter how many more third party products come out). Instead, those third party sales are now seen as taking away money that could be better spent on official D&D stuff.

None of this is to say that I think what WotC is doing is good: even if the OGL had been meaningless from a legal standpoint it had sent a message that creators had some degree of protection from legal action. Even if its original purpose was to suffocate the market with D&D support to the detriment of other games, it was still an entry point for many amazing creatives in the industry and it has played a small part in making the RPG scene more vibrant. I won't discuss whether or not WotC can legally unauthorize the original OGL, but from my own point of view whatever the legality of it is, just the idea of unauthorizing it is a betrayal to many creatives who in good faith expected to be able to continue using it.

Anyway, Kobold is supposedly working on a secret project, which to me sounds like they're going to make their own game that just so happens to be compatible with D&D while not using the OGL but only time will tell, and Paizo is in the process of creating their own open license, probably so they can keep Pathfinder 2e open to third party creators. We'll see how this pans out.