#did the horse think there was another horse because of the reflection?

[sarahsartistportfolio]

Some MORE sagau since my last post did some numbers and its given me confidence which feels nice.😌

This is completely self indulgence. And because it is the "you" referred to here is female. Slight yandere vibes but my intention was not cult au.

Albedo is the first to notice the unusual amount of shooting stars in the sky. There's never been this many meteorites in such a short span of time. Especially in Mondstadt. As Albedo observes another cluster of stars through his telescope, he notices this time the stars aren't all a bright white but of many different colors. Purple, gold, green and blue. Albedo notes how the sky melts and bends into these different colors too. Its all so strange but fascinating to him. He keeps his eye on the horizon, takes notes, but holds onto hope none of this spills any bad news.

Its Venti who catches you falling from the sky. Of course its him. It has to be him, at least he tells himself this. Its Venti who lays your head in his lap as anxiety and confusion reflects on his face. He gently runs his fingers over your forehead, brushing your hair out of the way. Only to see the sallow cut on your head leaking glittering golden blood. His hand flinches back as he thinks "They've arrived." He delicately holds you in his arms, as his thoughts race through taking you to the seven, which he assumed is the safest option. When you open your eyes. Your brain is fuzzy and your eyes are heavy but you can still make out Venti's visage. "Venti?" Your horse and rough voice manages, but you speak his name in more so disbelief. You let this stranger hold you as your arms are far too weak to push him away. And its Venti whose heart races as he realizes hes the first person you see. The first name you ever speak in Teyvat. His grip tightens as he swears to himself to keep you safe, to watch over you until your full power returns. "You...you really smell like apples." You smile weakly at him, body leaning into his embrace, closing your eyes enjoying the warmth he radiates. "You really do smell like apples." you repeat and Venti. is. beaming.

Venti becomes your comfort in this new world you've been thrust into. You find yourself hiding behind him when you're introduced to new people, holding his hand whenever you're anxious. Venti becomes quite proud that you seek out his presence so much. When you do start to become more brave, venturing out of Mondstadt, spending more time with Zhongli, Ei and Nahida. Venti finds himself becoming uncharacteristically jealous. His grip on you is never tight but it shows through his "You'll leaving already?" and "There's no reason to travel to Liyue/Inazuma/Sumeru ect you can do that here in Mondstadt." He treasures wearing the title of your first and closest friend and doesn't want anyone to replace him. And as you sit with him in the tavern again, making sure he fulfills his promise of writing a song for you, he finds himself getting terribly distracted by your eyes. Hoping he could become more than your dearest friend.

Venti's worship is friendly, playful, almost suffocating but in a good way.

Its Zhongli who becomes your second shadow. As soon as the overexcited bard announces your arrival to the present archons his heart skips a beat. Century after century he has heard stories of your power, your beauty, your grace. And some how he has lived long enough to see you in the flesh. His heart is racing as he waits for you to enter the room. And when you do, your hand in Venti's as he cheerfully introduces you to the geo archon. Zhongli's eyes widen for just a split second before he calmly attempts to regain his composure. He bows low, elegantly, although his knees threaten to give way. "Welcome back your grace." Your presence is otherworldly, ethereal. Your eyes bleed into the ever changing colors of the sky. And while maybe for a short time in the beginning Zhongli questioned himself, why you would return in such a small weak form. But that thought quickly left him, the longer he heard the unwavering kindness in your voice and the warmth of your smile. He was convinced he saw celestia its self within you.

Any and every time you step into Liyue, Zhongli is by your side. Even when your not in his country Zhongli still makes his presence known. Ever so observant and thoughtful. Helps you learn the names of people and places. Patiently tells you stories of the past over a hot cup of tea. Ever so patient Zhongli. When you playfully, nervously, confess you're a little intimidated by him. He waits. As long as you need. For you to initiate conversation, for you to stand closer to him, for you hold his arm as you take a walk through the city. And even as you continue to favor that childish drunken bard, Zhongli knows you would choose him. Maybe not today, but he will keep trying. Patiently demonstrating the upmost consideration so when the time comes for you to choose a spouse you will choose him. Zhongli convinces himself that out of the seven its him who deserves to be by your side. The patiently, gentleman Zhongli, will capture your heart, because who else deserves to spend eternity by your side.

Zhongli's worship is attentive, respectful, quietly fiercely loyal.

When Childe overhears the other fatui members whispering "There are rumors the god of Teyvat has arrived in Mondstadt. Taking on the form of a beautiful young woman." he stops dead in his tracks, eyes widening. He stops the informant demanding more details. Its Childe who has to show the most restraint in his entire life when the you agree to meet with the fatui harbingers. Your expression cold as you greet each member, your voice curt and short not entertaining a longer conversation. Childe has to fight back a grin when he first sees you and hears your voice. The sound immediately familiar to him. His heart racing, fingers twitch to touch you, hold you, to thank you over and over again. When your eyes finally land on him your expression quickly changes. You smile brightly, "Childe" you call his name is such an affection manner it makes his knees weak. The sweet sound throwing his mind back to when your warmth surrounded him in that dark pit. He finds himself dropping to knees before he even thinks, his head low and gaze to the floor to hide the tears threatening to slip. "The Fatui await your every command your grace."

Childe becomes your friend, easily, naturally. Even if you can not remember comforting him in the abyss. The other harbingers are completely dumbfounded why out of all of them you choose to spend all your time with Childe. And Childe is so prideful about it. He becomes infatuated with you. Learns every little thing about you. Falls in love with you. His world seems lighter, brighter whenever he speaks with you. He becomes addicted to your laughter. Wants it all to himself. Starts to imagine what it be like to be yours, your only. And when you return his feelings, he's elated. And Childe doesn't believe he'll ever let you go, he cant, not when he finally has you in the flesh. No he can't see his life without you in it and he'll keep it that way. No matter what or who threatens his happiness.

Childe's worship is possessive, selfish, brazen, bloodthirsty and warm like a fire comforting you on a cold winter's night.

One more below!

SIKE but no keep reading please

I'm currently in the middle of making some genshin related art and if that interests you maybe you can take a look at my instagram 👉👈

I'm also going write a NSFW sagau piece next. Which will include Xiao(and Venti again, really suddenly have fallen hard for him)🥰 this is my first time dipping my toes into writing characters that are not OCs so I'm trying🙇‍♀️

[hedgehog-moss]

Writers who use imitative harmony + the movement of their language to evoke meaning are so great to re-read once you’ve learnt this language, if you’ve read them in translation before, it feels like the best reward. I’m reading Annie Proulx in the original for the first time, and so much of her writing style was just not salvageable by French translators (< my condolences), because she intertwines sound with meaning so often, at least in Close Range, and French just doesn’t sound the same! so by translating the meaning you’ll sacrifice a lot of the style... It reminds me of a haunted house book in French that also made me think “haha RIP translators” because it made great use of sound—a lot of “u / eu / ou” to create a sort of sinister howling effect in some sentences, and one sentence about a closed door used “i” and “rr” sounds to give an ominous “creaking open” sensation without actually opening the door in the text...

This kind of thing always makes me reflect despairingly on how many authors I’ll never get to appreciate fully as I can’t read them in the original, but I’m glad to re-discover Annie Proulx at any rate! I mean compare the sound of a phrase like “a hundred dirt road shortcuts” to the French “des centaines de raccourcis, des routes de terre”... First of all the English phrase sounds clippety-cloppy, it sounds like hooves on a dirt road in a way that’s very hard to preserve in a language without syllable stress, but also the French language demands that you turn it into ‘a hundred of shortcurts of roads of dirt’, so it’s best to dilute it into two phrases, and you just lose the clippedness. It sounds less tight, more leisurely.

Same for the phrase “the tawny plain still grooved with pilgrim wagon ruts” vs. “la plaine fauve encore marquée des ornières laissées par les chariots des pèlerins.” That’s a 54% expansion ratio and once again you turn the tight clippedness of ‘grooved with pilgrim wagon ruts’ into ‘grooved with the ruts left by the wagons of the pilgrims.’ You just can’t avoid it, French words have to hold hands in a long procession rather than being stacked like pancakes on top of one another. And sometimes it makes for lovely stylistic effects too (*), but it doesn’t fit the style of a text like this one, which uses rhythm and sound in a very un-French way—rhythmicality in French tends to rely on long flowy phrasings rather than the potholed ruggedness this story demands. (I saw a NY Times article describe it as Annie Proulx “mining the ore of language out of a gritty Wyoming rockscape”)

The rhythm of this whole bit is so neat, you can snap your fingers along with it: “hard orange dawn, the world smoking, snaking dust devils on bare dirt, heat boiling out of the sun until the paint on the truck hood curled, ragged webs of dry rain that never hit the ground, through small-town traffic and stock on the road, band of horses in morning fog...”

The French version is not finger-snapping material but you can tell the translator did her very best to preserve the author’s intention by creating interesting rhythms in French as well. For “hard orange dawn” she could have kept close to the original with, say, “la dureté orange de l’aube” but instead she chose to turn ‘hard’ into a four-syllable adjective (éblouissante / blinding) to end up with a noticeable rhythm—“les aubes orange, éblouissantes,” one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four (and she made ‘dawn’ plural for the same reason.) She wasn’t able to preserve the g/r alliteration of “GRooved with pilGRim waGon Ruts” (although her translated phrase also has a lot of R’s) but she did preserve the ‘sss’ alliteration of “Smoking Snaking duSt” (“pouSSière Serpentant Sur le Sol”). Even with languages as close as French and English, for every stylistic effect you can save you have to sacrifice a few, or replace them with opposite effects which align better with your language’s notions of literary style (like with the orange dawn bit, doubling the length of a tight phrase so it can sound rhythmical).

You can tell all throughout the book that a lot of thought and care went into respecting Annie Proulx’s writing choices and you still end up with sentences that sound and move so differently. You get to see the limit of translation when authors fully lean on their language’s syntax and melody to help convey meaning, like poets do!

(*) Re: English stacking words and French linking them—this reminds me of an essay I read by an English translator of Proust who despaired of this difference in the opposite direction—saying some long, descriptive phrases in Proust with articles & prepositions linking words, and commas linking phrases with regularity, read like telling the beads of a rosary. And the sensation (or a lot of it) had to be sacrificed because English just does not use as many linking words as French, information is conveyed in a more economical way, so a lot of these sentences with a hypnotic rhythm like “the A, of the B, of the C, whereby the D, of the E, on an F” were often not achievable with English syntax or created redundancy (e.g. having to use ‘that’ or ‘which’ 5 times when French used different tool words). But he said he did try to form sentences that had this continuity, and meditative quality.

I don’t have a conclusion to this post other than to say something precious will be lost if human translation is replaced by AI translation, because literary translation involves creativity and ambiguity and aesthetic considerations and a dimension of instinctual feeling for your own language and the original style, and I don’t think any amount of data and processing power and artificial neural networks will yield the flavour of literary quality that emerges from human sensibility and care, from someone reading a sentence and thinking “this feels like hooves clippety-clopping down a dirt road” or “this feels like rolling the beads of a rosary” and starting from there...

[blackopals-world]

I Found Home

Part 8

(part 1)(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Vil

"The Ally"

Yuu pressed the peach-colored gloss to her lips with practiced ease. You'd think that something so simple could be done without thought at all but she knew that perfection wasn't easy.

Grimm slept soundly curled up on the bed. He was taking a nap before their appointment.

Yuu was expecting the photographer in a few hours which gave her time to finish getting ready.

No, this shade wouldn't work.

Yuu wiped away the lipstick. It wasn't the right color and this shoot was too important. It would be the promotional shoot for her new release and everyone would see it.

Her gaze drifted to another tube with a beautiful shade of plum she had saved when she last toured. It was her favorite but never had the heart to use it, because when it was gone then it was gone for good. The brand didn't make it anymore and she didn't want it from another.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't about the lipstick. Maybe it was deeper. It didn't matter.

"Rook this isn't funny. Can't you take her for the day?" Vil growled over the phone as he adjusted the baby in his arms. He kept her grabby hands away from his tied up hair.

"Non, you know how busy I am right now. The exhibition opens in a week and the installation pieces need to be overseen and tested. We are behind schedule as is. As the artist, I need to make sure everything is perfect. Bella can't be here with all the construction." Rook sighed "Can't Monsieur Poison Apple watch her?"

"No, Epel is presenting a few of his show horses for an upcoming competition. I don't want her around a bunch of animals while Epel is working." Vil couldn't even imagine what could happen in such a situation.

"It won't be so bad our Trickster will love her. She has always had a soft spot for little ones. She looked after our dear Epel after we graduated and made sure he was a great dorm leader."

" Yes, it is a bit much to show up at random with a baby." Vil sighed. "What would she think? After everything we..."

"...have faith. At least you can say you have become more nurturing. If I recall she liked it when you showed you cared for Epel." Rook tried to joke.

Vil remembered it, she would reward him for being nice to her friends. Not with presents or vocal praise, her reward was something she didn't know she was giving. When she was happy with him her eyes had this warmth. Vil had once believed that smiling with your eyes was hust an idiotic line from scripts from romance movies. But when she did it he understood. The unabashed joy showed on every inch of her face was captivating. It was an expression he could never replicate.

A little hand tapped his cheek as he reflected. Bella's big round eyes blinked owlishly.

"Thank you for trying to help. I'll call once I get back." Vil said ending the call.

They were almost ready for the shoot. Yuu had on a floral lilac tea-length dress perfect for a garden party. Grimm had on a matching lilac dress shirt with white pants and suspenders.

"Grimm, remember you can't play in this outfit and get it dirty." Yuu knew the foolishness in asking a toddler not to get their clothes dirty but he had hoped Grimm would listen. The photoshoot wouldn't be more than a few hours.

There was a knock on the door. Yuu cursed under her breath, the photographer was early and she still wasn't ready. She couldn't let them wait.

She quickly answered and the figure behind the door wasn't who she expected at all.

Long white gold hair, lavender eyes, and picture-perfect face. She'd be a fool not to recognize him or blind. Vil looked almost exactly the same, It was almost like time stopped for him.

All the while she had changed alot. She filled out here and there, especially after becoming a mother. She didn't complain since it was easier to balance a toddler on your hips with a curve. The downside is becoming a human pillow whenever you sit down as Grimm needed to be glued next to her. Time didn't stop for her.

A small gurgling hiccup made Yuu's eyes shift downwards to the stroller that was just off to the side. Inside was a baby about 7-8 months old. She was beautiful. Soft fair skin with pink cheeks, curly blonde locks with streaks of black, and brilliant purple eyes like Vil. She had a stuffed apple toy in her mouth that she was determined to bite.

"Oh, my...congratulations Vil." She was excited of course. She loved babies and this own was so cute and so much like Vil. But despite having no reason to be upset she felt a pang in her heart. Vil had gotten married. Probably, no defiantly to someone beautiful beyond reproach. She had to be the fairest of them all and smarter too. She probably loved Vil with all her heart.

That thought comforted Yuu. This amazing woman would take care of her friend and brought him a beautiful healthy child. There is nothing more perfect.

"Thnak you, her name is Belladonna."Vil said watching for any change in Yuu's expression.

He noticed the wistful look she got when she saw Bella. Something he felt a little bad about. He knew how much she had wanted a baby in the past.

"Wasn't he adorable?!" She could bearly contain her joy as she practically skipped around the studio.

One of the supporting actors had brought their baby in after their nanny canceled. It was holding up the entire shoot much to Vil's annoyance.

He had plans to take Yuu to that play she had been harping about. Though he wanted to see it too.

"Babies are only perceived as cute because otherwise, they'd be so ugly we'd abandon them," Vil said plainly. "Why else would you want a screaming creature that defects itself?"

While what he said wasn't technically a lie Yuu still swatted his arm lightly.

"I get it you're jealous of babies who get all the attention. You don't get it. Babies a pure, they are experiencing things for the first time and are exploring the world around them. When you're around them you just know you will become the person they rely on to teach them and keep them safe." Yuu said with stars in her eyes.

"I get it you want to push out a screaming pinkish monkey one day." Vil taunted.

"I will remind you that you were once a screaming monkey. And I bet you were the cutest little chubby baby." She gushed in a baby talk voice. "I can't wait for you to walk down the aisle so you can have one of your own."

"As if, I'm not the one to settle down nor have a child. I have my career to focus on and if you want to write those books you harp on you'd do the same." Vil wouldn't even entertain the thought.

It's not that he actually disliked kids, he knew better than anyone that parenthood takes away opportunities. You can't be present and working all the time.

"More good women have been lost to marriage than to war, famine, disease and disaster. You have talent, darling. Don't squander it." Vil had heard Professor Crewel tell Yuu this once.

It was the blatant reminder that whatever 'this' was between them would not last.

"She's beautiful Vil...I bet she looks just her mother." Yuu smiled as she taped the Bella on the cheek making the baby squeek in joy as she grabbed Yuu's finger.

"Yes, she does." Vil sighed. He didn't want to bring her up.

Yuu bit her lip. She did want to talk about this anymore but there was a part of herself that wanted to punish her for her feelings.

"I can't imagine you getting married. Unless it's one of those celebrity marriages that don't last but you'd never do something crude like that." Yuu laughed.

"No, I never got married. I prefer the single life. My mother however thought it was wise to start another family and Bella was left to me." Vil picked up his little sister and let Yuu coo over her.

"So she's not yours? Wait? I thought you and your mother were estranged." Yuu asked.

"We were but after she said she wanted to make up after getting pregnant we began talking. I still resented her for abandoning us but I was willing to be a brother. She however just wanted to leave another child behind." Vil didn't blame Belladonna, she was another victim.

"I see, I understand how you probably feel. Parenthood takes you by surprise." Yuu smiled, she guessed anyone can change.

Suddenly Vil looked pass Yuu shoulder.

"Dear, what is that?" Vil asked with a puzzled expression.

Yuu turned her head and saw her three-year-old sprint by with only his pull-up on.

"Grimm, where are your clothes?" Yuu asked calmly.

"You said I couldn't get them dirty. Now they won't."Grimm said as though he was a genius for finding the loophole.

Yuu sighed.

Vil and Yuu sat and talk while Grimm slumped against his mother's side. He had been redressed with the help of his mother's friend. Grimm was a bit star-struck as the very pretty man straightened his shirt.

Grimm had never met anyone this pretty except for his Mama. Yep, not even Vil could win this battle. One day Grimm will love another but no one beats his wonderful mommy. He will forever be a mommy's boy. Vil had captivated Grimm especially when he helped comb out Grimm's hair. He called Grimm "A little potato " and Grimm didn't know what that meant but he liked it.

"So you just found him?" Vil asked his eyes drifting to the boy who shyly buried his face him Yuu's side.

He was relieved but felt embarrassed to think that. The prideful part of him couldn't take second place but that shouldn't mean that Grimm didn't deserve a mother. He'd feel no different if it was Bella. She had become his world.

"Yes, I feel lucky every day. If not for Grimm I doubt I would have ever had a child." Yuu said sadly.

"You've always wanted a baby though."

"I wanted to get married and do the traditional family. But I've known for a long time that's not something every man wants. I want that person to be the one for me but I'm greedy. I wanted him or no one." Yuu shifted her gaze away.

Vil almost apologized. He may not have known who broke her heart but that didn't mean he didn't understand.

Bella began getting fussy as she made a loud babbling yell for attention. You could practically hear her saying "What are you doing over there and not looking at me?!"

Vil knew Belladonna only wanted attention from new people. She wanted Yuu to go back to cooing over her. He picked up the little girl and placed her in his lap. Bella however didn't want daddy she wanted the nice pretty lady. She reached out her tiny arms and made grabby hands to be picked up.

Yuu squealed in excitmemt as she scooped Bella up in her arms.

"Oh my goodness! You're so widdle!" Yuu gushed.

Bella actually had a reason she wanted Yuu as she turned her head to her chest and nuzzled her breast. She was hungry.

Vil and Yuu turned red.

"I don't know where she learned that. She's a bottle baby. She's never even breastfed." Vil said trying to take Bella back only to get kicked with her little sausage legs.

Yuu laughed at the father and daughter duo. Seeing Vil frazzled for once was hilarious and adorable.

"Why don't you get her bottle and I'll feed her." Yuu said.

Vil thanked her and went to warm up a bottle.

Grimm watched the baby with curiosity. He had never seen one this close before. She was so little, even littler than him, and Mama said he was really little.

Grimm touched the baby's little foot with tiny tiny toes and the baby laughed.

"Baybe." He said in awe.

"Yes, she's a baby. You used to be this small too." Yuu ruffled Grimm's hair.

Bella reached out patted Grimm's hair as she copied Grimm. Grimm had hearts in his eyes as played with Bella's hand. Her hand wrapped around Grimm's finger as she gurgled and chirped.

Vil returned with a bottle and passed it to Yuu. With a bit of help Yuu fed Bella.

"You need to try to remain clean and tidy Grimm." He said sternly as he brushed the boy's hair back in place.

"But Mama did it." He pouted wrapping his arms around Vil's forearm.

"Then make sure she knows not to do that. You're Mama can be a very affectionate so she doesn't know when to stop." Vil warned as Grimm laughed.

After Bella was fed and burped Vil sat her down in her stroller. She would get sleepy soon but he didn't like laying her down after eating, too risky while digesting.

The photographer arrived right after and Yuu and Vil discussed boring stuff with them whole Grimm stayed with the baby.

Grimm got an idea and ran up the stairs and stumbled back down with a picture book in one hand.

"Look Bella this is my book." He said showing the baby. He was going to read her to sleep like his Mama did. " It's about a queen and the prince of fruit."

The book was actually called "The Noble Queen and the Prince of Apples". The book starts with a boy who lived in an apple orchard. One day a queen passed by in her carriage and wanted an apple. He asked the boy to pick an apple and when the boy handed it to the queen the apple turned silver. The boy was amazed and asked the queen how he did it. The queen said that he would teach the boy if the boy came to the castle with him. Everyday the boy had to work for queen. He did every task the queen asked which required patience and thoughtfulness. He learned to be graceful by drawing water without making a ripple, he learned to lead by organizing the queen's schedule and giving orders, and he learned to speak by watching the queen stand before the crowd. Every time the boy learned a new skill the queen taught him a spell but everytime the queen showed him a better spell. He turned a peacock feather gold, turned water into wine, roses into silk, and a mirror into diamonds. The boy would stay to learn more and more and before he knew it years had passed. Until one day the boy made a spell that grew a silver tree with apples of gold and leaves of diamonds. It was a gift for the queen and only he could pick an apple or break a branch off of it. The queen was happy with the boy and told him to return to his orchard. In that orchard the boy found a new kingdom had been made and the queen had given the boy the land to rule since was now ready. From that day on the boy was the Prince of Apples.

"That's a beautiful story." Vil said feeling that it sounds vaguely familiar. Still, he liked the sound of this queen.

Yuu pressed her lips together praying Vil didn't realize.

"Vil we should focus on the photoshoot. I need to get the kids outside." Yuu placed a hand on Vil's shoulder.

A quick outfit change later the families gathered in thr garden. Grimm stood at his mother's side as she sat down next to Vil who was holding Bella.

"You are a beautiful family! After this can I have the mother hold the baby and the little guy sit with his dad." The photographer said.

Yuu blushed, the photographer might have gotten the wrong idea when she asked to include extra guests.

Vil had no problems as they shifted to the next pose. Grimm gleefully sat on Vil's lap as he leaned over to hold Bella's hand.

Vil laughed, he knew Grimm was a natural model. The boy loved the camera or the attention at least. The photographer managed to get a candid picture of Vil kissing the boy's cheek as he smiled brightly. It came out so perfectly you'd think they were an ad in a magazine.

Vil couldn't wait to share these with everyone. They did look like a perfect family and he found that he really liked the way that sounded. He can admit he was wrong about family life.

(I'm done! I'm finally done! Pray to God it's good)

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[fairydares]

loook i get why the idea of riding the "anti/pro" fandom disk horse makes people gag a little in their mouth and try to opt out entirely, but here's why i went from feeling exactly the same way to taking a firm profiction stance. I've been meaning to make this post for a while.

~10 years ago, I posted a fic for the first time and it got its own harassment campaign. The fic wasn't even sexual, and wasn't going to be (it remains incomplete). It was accurately rated T on fanfiction.net. Anyone in the Fairy Tail fandom will understand this: I literally got harassed for writing a "Lucy leaves the guild" fic💀.

After many nice comments, someone left a pretty nasty one. Hurt, I messaged them back. They acted super attacked that I'd responded (lmao) and after we argued, threatened to "rip my shitty story apart in the comments section" if I responded again. I told them "go ahead lol."

They went ahead.

Now know that it was a relatively small harassment campaign, but at the time, it was devastating. Right around then, I wound up in the hospital. After I got out, I went to excitedly check my fic, and found several reviews saying things I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I was suicide-baited more than once, told "thank fuck you finally abandoned this shitty story, dumb cunt," stuff like that.

There were several accounts involved, and I can't say for sure, but I suspect at least a couple different people were involved, though probably at least half of it was one person.

All the other comments were screeching about how I hadn't updated, mostly. "NO UPDAAATEE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEE??!!!" was one that stood out after I'd been miserable in a hospital for an extended period of time.

Idk what people think is going on when FT fic authors write this trope, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Because while I was partly writing the story out of some young, cringe feminist rage, I also did genuinely have a real story I was compelled to tell. I was inspired by another, popular fic I loved which used the trope to talk about how trying to shoulder our burdens alone really just hurts both ourselves and everyone who cares about us.

My own story was ultimately going to have similar themes, with more focus on strength, what it means, and in what contexts earning and having it actually matters. In retrospect, no wonder I wound up in hot water, because at the time "Lucy vs. Strength vs. Misogyny" was the FT fandom's Designated Nonsensically Activist Debate™. But that's partly why i wanted to write about it; engaging with the fandom had gotten me thinking about it 🤷‍♂️

Not too long after that, FFNet oh-so-benevolently granted us the ability to delete comments from our own stories (they never took my reports seriously at all, afaik). I deleted all or most of the harassers' comments (may still be a one or two up, and i'm fairly sure there's a couple comments defending my fic from the harassment) without saving screenshots, which I really regret now. I was just so mortified and full of self-loathing about the whole thing that i wanted to forget it completely. Something that had brought me joy at a very lonely, vulnerable period of my life had turned so negative, and i couldn't even tell the people closest to me about it without being made fun of for writing anime fan fiction.

I didn't understand why this happened at the time, but--after a period of trying to forget/bid out of it all with a slight anti lean (a common approach I see people use, and one which I'm not proud of adopting)--I just had to figure out What the Fuck Even Happened There. And I'm telling you, after years of reflecting, wrestling with both sides, and educating myself, that this "status quo of harassment" culture which pervades fandom goes way deeper than you think and comes out of a way darker well than you probably realize. An astonishing amount of this is, quite literally, TERF shit and evangelical shit.

Trying to be in fandom and take a stance of, "Anti/Pro shit? Ew, I'm Not Touching that," is like swimming in a heavily polluted river and being like, "Poison? Cringe. Not me lol."

You might be lucky enough to be in a less-polluted part of the river (AKA a relatively non-toxic fandom, in which case good for you!)...but tbh this rhetoric and peer-signalling will still seep in.

I can't stress enough that pro-fiction, AKA "proship", is the normal, leftist-about-art-and-sex opinion. Pro-ship is against all the horrible things you're against; in fact, pro-ship isn't trivializing real trauma by equating it with fictional trauma, or trying to apply literal evangelical/radfem solutions--which are proven not to prevent or help. Profiction/proship is literally just saying, "Fiction is fiction, reality is reality, and the two don't have a 1:1 relationship. And historically, trying to censor just things we've decided are bad has done nothing but get LGBTQ+ and POCs censored. Therefore, depictions of illegal things shouldn't be censored." That's it. "Proshippers all ship problematic ships," is a brazen lie. Many of them share other fans' disgust for those ships, they just don't believe in censoring fic authors over it.

It is also taking a stand against harassment because--and I hope my own story has helped drive this home--as with all groups who adopt ingroup/outgroup thinking, antis are defined by their tactics, not actual stances on real, serious issues. What happened to me was absolutely a result of anti, "it's okay to 'bully out' anything I just don't like" mindset pervading fandom. In a way, this was the mindset's final form. They didn't even feel the need to cite a reason the trope was "bad" or "wrong"; it annoyed them, and they viewed their own feelings as a valid enough pathway for policing to go right ahead and do so.

In the interest of offering solutions instead of just bitching about problems, I might make a "how to know if you've bought into these types of views"-type post sometime. Also might come back to this and provide some sources/citation.

[anewstartrekfan]

Reading an old Star Trek book and to my surprise Jim Kirk has always had Daddy issues

So the only Star Trek book I’ve read was the one explaining how the tribbles episode was made and the aftermath, so trying to read Enterprise (1986) with some basic knowledge of trek post 2009 is fascinating. Cuz you see where the breadcrumbs of some of the characterization and even backstory come from.

In chapter 2, Sam Kirk and Kirk’s mom show up to Kirk’s ceremony where he takes command of the enterprise. They talk about George Kirk Sr. being in Starfleet, (he’s dead here too) something that I don’t think was in any of the episodes or movies. And how he was always distant and away. And they’re clearly going for some parallels/dramatic irony with the Wrath of Khan when it comes to Kirk not believing he could’ve developed a relationship with his father as an adult. And it plays into the tragic aspect I love about Kirk.

Upon reflection he’s happy that Carol rejected him (he proposed to her in chapter 1) because he doesn’t want to leave anyone behind while on the job, only returning for sparse visits the way his father did. But at the same time, Jim craves companionship. And he can’t get it in his current job because as captain, it is not ethical for him to date anyone else on the Enterprise.

Anyway the long and short is if we take this book into account, Kirk has always had daddy issues. It’s just in TOS EU it was abandonment issues whereas in 2009 it was dad sacrificed himself so high expectations issues.

The little details like the mom’s name getting carried over into the aos movies are a good touch, but then seeing George Kirk being a Starfleet officer actually get incorporated into the 2009 movie as an important plot point, and then also using his absence in Kirk’s life but just in a different way as part of Kirk’s backstory is so cool to me.

A difference though is unlike fanfic tropes, Winona is actually a good mom and wants Jim to succeed in his career where his father failed in his Starfleet career. Unfortunately though Jim appears to be falling into the same pitfalls. As in lack of communication and unwillingness to play workplace politics.

That last burn from Winona tho… like damn girl I felt that.

Another thing I want to backtrack to, Sam Kirk. Sam being the alleged chosen child, the one that was supposed to follow in George Kirk’s footsteps but didn’t, and then Jim strolled in and did even more than what Sam was supposed to do, and Sam and George never reconciled. Like dudes this book is almost 40 years old and this stuff was in strange new worlds last year. Tho xenobiology appears to have morphed into xenoanthropology (tho according to the fan wiki he’s still a biologist so idk what the deal is)

For the record Sam’s characterization isn’t remotely the same here. Likely the choice to keep him out of Starfleet all together removed any sort of resentment of Jim potential like he has in SNW. There’s still tension though, as Sam tries to force Jim to confront why he’s reacting like this to his first mission for the enterprise being an escort job for a flying horse.

Shifting gears back to Jim needing to learn how to play workplace politics. The assumed reason for Pike leaving the enterprise. While SNW is doing the whole, Pike knows he won’t fly the enterprise forever and about the disfigurement and is cool with it, I find if fascinating that he’s more, sad about it here and that he got promoted out of the way for pushing too many buttons. It would be a sad ending but I wonder if SNW would incorporate that into its eventual ending. Hell I wonder if that’s what happened to Kirk between TOS and TMP.

Anyway big picture is this book is a fascinating time capsule and it’s fun seeing just how much has stuck around over the years both in fandom and in the franchise itself. Whether or not that’s the book’s doing is questionable but still. Fun to think about.

[smilerri]

many thoughts about epic: the musical...

i am once again in the middle of essay writing but plautus is boring and my friend introduced me to this album so u already know I binged the entire thing

(quick warning for spoilers of homer's odyssey? if that's necessary?? man idk whatever)

first thoughts naturally concerned odysseus. i have hated this man with a burning passion ever since I started studying classics - i think he is irredeemably selfish, a liar masquerading as a 'resourceful hero,' and basically just a twat all around. that being said, i respect that epic is not an exact replica. in fact, i like that about it!

readings of odysseus as a loving husband and father, and a man who cares deeply for his crew and fellow warriors is one i would love to see reflected in the source text (though i admit i have only read two different translations so far, so this is subject to change depending on translators choice!), if only because it would be so so refreshing. and epic does that extremely well! i find epic's odysseus to be far more likeable, insofar as he is fueled not by greed for glory (kleos for the nerds out there) but rather the desire to return to his wife and son. (I personally would argue that, while homer's odysseus is indeed fueled by a desire for homecoming (nostos), it is not for the sake of penelope and telemachus, but rather concern over the security of his status and position within the household (oikos))

i also very much enjoy that the love he holds for his family is not an inherently positive trait. in the aeneid, and often in myth, it is achilles' son, neoptolemus/pyrrhus who kills the son of hector and andromache, astyanax by throwing him from the walls of troy - less common, it is odysseus (which i did not know until i googled it just now oops). homer's odysseus does not reject the gods. he is beloved by some, hated by others - he receives their boons and curses as they come. he revels in the attention of the divine, no matter positive or negative, for it is proof of his kleos. epic's odysseus is so much more... human. he doesn't vie for glory that reaches the skies. if anything, he rues it. in the horse and the infant he supplicates himself to (who i assume is) zeus - which is such a loaded act i am genuinely struggling to think of how to articulate it, but boy am I gonna try my darndest.

the act of supplication and guest-friendship (xenia) is a very key theme within the odyssey, and to a point in the iliad also - essentially, if a traveller were to arrive at your doorstep, you were obliged to let them in and provide food, drink, and lodgings to that traveller, no questions asked. in return (because reciprocity is VERY important in homer especially), the guest would provide entertainment, tales of their travels, etc, and would be respectful of their host. the patron of these travellers was zeus. any violation of these terms, on part of the guest or host, would be met with divine scorn. for odysseus to supplicate himself to zeus is therefore meta as hell, but I would instead bring attention to the echoing lyric "hes bringing you down to your knees." 'he,' assumedly, is astyanax. his father, hector, is dead; as is his grandfather, priam, and all of priam's other sons. at this point, one could assume that it is astyanax who is ruling troy, who is now the host of the city that odysseus, a traveller from another land, has entered and ransacked. zeus' 'prophecy' of astyanax growing old and seeking revenge (reciprocity! homeric greece had a 'revenge culture' - essentially 'an eye for an eye' as well as 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours,' though not always so clear-cut), therefore, would be odysseus' punishment for violating the terms of xenia.

supplication, however, is not limited to guest-friendship alone. for example, in odyssey 22, when odysseus slaughters the suitors occupying his home (is that spoilers?), their priest leodes supplicates himself at odysseus' feet, begging to be spared. odysseus takes his head from his neck in an instant. odysseus' kneeling before astyanax, therefore, is no simple act between a guest and his host - perhaps he is begging the infant for mercy, for forgiveness, or perhaps he is positioning himself for punishment; in killing astyanax, odysseus accepts his own death. perhaps this means his fate (which, in case of homeric epic, refers to the time and manner of one's death), or perhaps it is a part of him that has died. in just a man, odysseus asks "when does a man become a monster?" his killing astyanax prevents the boy from ever becoming a man, and spares him from a life fueled only by revenge and the need to regain his glorious birthright, and it turns him into a monster. just as he says he would, he trades in the world where he is 'just a man' for a world where he is a cruel beast, all for sake of his family.

(quick detour but i really like how odysseus' focus is primarily on penelope rather than telemachus. [insert deadbeat dad joke here], but in reality, he doesn't even know the boy. penelope he chose to marry and fall in love with - it's no question that he loves telemachus, but after ten years, it is only natural that he would miss his beautiful, tricky wife with more fervour than the child he never had the chance to love. it shows he is imperfect, even illogical - the son is the father's entire legacy. just as odysseus is 'son of laertes', so will telemachus be 'son of odysseus', the protector of his immortal heroic legacy. yet it is penelope whom odysseus yearns for.)

(another detour but "i'm just a man" is such a juicy lyric, because the entire message of homer's odyssey is that odysseus is not any man - he is a man that the muses deem worthy to inspire great poets to compose epic poems that persist through thousands of years and a million different voices - a hero. but epic's odysseus is not that hero. he is a man, trying to go home, craving comfort and the warmth of the hearth. these 'flaws' humanise him more than homer's odysseus could ever imagine.)

skipping over to polyphemus, odysseus violates xenia once again by killing polyphemus' sheep, albeit unwittingly. homer makes this violation very obvious - odysseus and crew eat polyphemus' cheese and wine while polyphemus tends to his sheep, knowing that the cave is obviously inhabited, and they even wait for polyphemus to return to ask for more. it is worth noting as well that, at this point, odysseus and crew are still jubilant about their victory, and unlike in epic, these 'detours' are purposeful, specifically so that odysseus can scope out the islands for anything of interest he can snatch and add to his spoils of war, adding to his kleos by means of physical wealth (timē) - which makes odysseus' offer of treasure to appease polyphemus all the more baffling in epic. this odysseus is a leader who prioritises the lives of his men over his own kleos, which makes the final lines - "you shall be the final man to die" // "what?" // "watch out!" - all the more heartbreaking. he wants to protect his men, so that they too may return to their families back on ithaca; the prospect of watching them die before his eyes after he already witnessed so many lose their lives in battle must be so utterly terrifying.

polyphemus is so excellently creepy as well! i loved him in the odyssey - this was where I really started to dislike odysseus, actually. he's a cyclops, obviously inhuman, yet he rears sheep and makes cheese and wine and weaves wicker baskets to keep them in, trying to play at humanity. i really did sympathise with him from the first time I read it. epic's polyphemus is similar, so very calm in his anger yet ruthless all the same, and demonstrates great restraint in comparison to his counterpart in the odyssey, who gets filthy drunk after mashing six men dead and allows odysseus+co. to fashion a stake with which to blind him. much of the violence against polyphemus, as well as the violation of xenia in homer's odyssey is 'excused' by the fact that polyphemus is a 'barbarian', to whom concepts of civilised people do not belong.

(very quick detour but polyphemus' first admonishment of odysseus - "you killed my sheep" up to "take from you like you took from me" - makes such heartbreaking parallels to astyanax's murder and the sack of troy. it almost provides a visualisation of the guilt that odysseus must still be battling. i would have loved to have been in his brain when he heard polyphemus say that.)

the mercy odysseus shows polyphemus is particularly interesting - homer's odysseus leaves him alive and tells him his name purely so that his name will spread and his kleos will grow. but epic's odysseus, despite his conviction to kill in survive and to avenge is fallen comrades in remember them, spares him. in part, this is to assure them an escape, so that the cyclops' giant body does not block their exit - but athena's interruption makes clear that this is not all. she criticises him, remarks "he is still a threat until he's dead." no doubt this calls back to zeus' warnings about astyanax, hence his refusal (or inability?) to commit to slaughter. for a homeric greek hero to allow a foe to live on after his allies had been slaughtered is a grave failure of reciprocity, casting shame on both the hero and their enemy. homer's odysseus escapes this with his reputation intact, since as a result polyphemus curses him to face poseidon's wrath - as I mentioned, for a hero, even negative attention from the gods is a good thing as it proves that their reputation/glory is known all over, even in olympus. but, as we have established, epic's odysseus cares not for kleos. the decision to tell polyphemus his name is entirely impulsive and irrational, grieving his comrades, hence athena's outrage.

the relationship between athena and odysseus is founded entirely on the principles they share, described in warrior of the mind (if anyone can lmk whereabouts this song fits in the timeline I will be so grateful, I'm stupid unfortunately :/). they value wisdom, reason, and rationality over brute strength and bloodlust. epic's athena becomes odysseus' patron goddess with the goal to "make a greater tomorrow" and "change the world" - aspirations that are entirely foreign to any homeric god. gods in homer do not care about the wellbeing of humans unless they are directly related to them, and they certainly don't care about the wellness of humanity as a whole. humans are toys and tools of the gods. the amount that athena cares for odysseus, even in the odyssey, is unusual, demonstrative of how much she cares for him, yet epic makes their comradery more obvious, even going as far as to (tentatively) call them friends. my goodbye frames athena's anger as disappointment at an experiment failed - calling back to warrior of the mind, where she claims to have "designed" him - but odysseus' replies to her makes clear that it is far more personal. perhaps, to her, odysseus acting so irrationally is even a betrayal; odysseus is abandoning the principles of reason they both once held and thus is forsaking all that they once shared and that she, as the goddess of wisdom, stands for.

ive always considered athena to be a very interesting goddess. she is a patron of both war, which in homer is only carried out by men, and weaving, the traditional work of women within the household - her very nature is a contradiction of masculine and feminine. although it is ares who is considered the 'black sheep' of the olympians for his brutality in war, epic's portrayal of athena through odysseus' lens paints her as lonely and ostracised - "since you claim you're so much wiser // why's your life spent all alone? // you're alone." It is clear that odysseus here does not view her as his patron at all, rather as a friend - and to that she takes offence, because she is a goddess, eternal and all-powerful. she does not need friendship or comradery; those are mortal concerns alone. personally, I see epic's athena as incredibly insecure. she cuts odysseus off because she cannot bare that a mortal has been able to read her so clearly, to see all the ugly parts of herself that she keeps hidden to retain the facade of the perfect goddess. she knows the paradox within herself - warrior and woman, immortal and alone - and rues that odysseus was able to see it as well. the cruellest part, the most ironic, is that his being able to figure out the true, imperfect nature of a god shows that he has not abandoned the path of the warrior of the mind. in fact, his wisdom extends beyond mortality into the realm of the divine. but athena is blinded by her anger and insecurity, and she says her goodbyes. she disappears from there, only to appear again to try to warn odysseus of his crew opening the bag of winds given to him by aeolus in keep your friends close, once again demonstrating her care for him, despite her anger.

the amount that odysseus cares for his crew is demonstrated time and again throughout the album, yet in the end, he still slowly loses their trust. aeolus' winds are the first sign. his crew betrays his orders upon the first whisper on the wind that he might be keeping treasure from them. the next sign, in puppeteer, is eurylochus' confession upon arrival to aeaea (circe's island), which odysseus brushes off, much as he brushed off eurylochus' concerns in luck runs out. then, in a matter of moments, 600 men are reduced to forty by the wrath of poseidon - which in itself is a significant change. while odysseus in epic is explicitly blamed for failing to kill polyphemus, homer's odysseus takes no responsibility for the deaths of hundreds of his men. it happens when they arrive at telepylos, which, unbeknownst to them, is home to the laestrygonians, a race of cannibalistic giants. odysseus, apparently sensing something off (who tf does he think he is, spiderman?), allows his entire fleet to enter the bay of telepylos while his ship alone remains outside - and when those ships are attacked and trapped, he alone takes his single ship and escapes, allowing twelve ships of men to be ripped apart and eaten by cannibals. an act which he shows no remorse for.

in my interpretation of homer's odyssey, it is this slowly slipping trust that eventually leads to his men ignoring his warnings and feasting on the cows of helios which leads to the deaths of all his remaining crew, including eurylochus and polites (spoilers? idk). so, once epic: the musical catches up to book 12 of the odyssey you WILL be seeing me again I hope ur excited.

there is definitely more i could say here, especially about the circe saga bcs ohhh my god I love circe and I love this circe especially (a female character with actual motive other than being a victim? homer could never) but unfortunately I'm running out of steam and I do in fact have 3 essays due this month (help) so I will probably return to this later !! hopefully its readable bcs I'm not going back to edit any of this ;)

[rainbowsky]

Anonymous asked: this is why we can’t have nice things.. [redacted]

Speaking of 'this is why we can't have nice things', Anon...

I've closed my inbox to anonymous asks.

Congratulations Anon. After four and a half years of taking anonymous questions from people, yours was the proverbial final straw that broke the horse's back, or whatever that saying is.

Copious swearing under the cut. Prepare yourself for the sound of branches cracking and breaking in the storm.

I can't even begin to imagine why you'd think that is something I would want to see. What the actual fuck? Did it not occur to you that that might be extremely homophobic and distressing for me to see?

I don't know what part of "I don't want to hear any more of this" people don't understand but FFS, I just can't do this anymore.

I'm not here to explain, coddle, comfort or commiserate over hateful statements and badly photoshopped BS toxics are sharing on Twitter, nor am I here to compensate for people's unwillingness to curate their online experience. If I wanted to deal with Twitter BS, I'd be on Twitter.

I'm not here to be a social crutch, either. If a reader has a question about something someone posts on Twitter, they should ask them. They shouldn't come to my blog and send me an anonymous message asking me what someone else meant!

I cannot believe the sheer volume of both of these kinds of asks I get.

THERE IS A REASON I AM NOT ON TWITTER

I take curating my online experience extremely seriously, and I purposely block and avoid all of the worst toxic shit. Especially Twitter, which is a raging cesspool. What point is there in me doing all of that if I can't avoid it anyway because people bring it to my inbox?!?

At the risk of putting my foot in my mouth like WWX, I have to ask, "Who raised you people?"

This all strikes me as really basic stuff, here. Take a few seconds before you send an ask, and reflect!!

Is this something that belongs on another platform? Is there a really good reason why I'm bringing it to this platform?

Is this something rainbowsky wants to hear about?

Is this something rainbowsky has repeatedly, repeatedly told people not to fucking send?

Is this something I should be handling myself by simply blocking and ignoring the person who posted it? Do I really want to play the role of spreading toxic, fucked up lies and garbage farther and wider than where I found it?

Is rainbowsky the right person to ask about this, or should I be asking the person who posted it?

Do I really need to be anonymous for this? Why can't I message rainbowsky privately, or reply in the comments of a post? Why do I want to hide my identity for this simple question or comment? How does being anonymous impact any relationship building or community building that could be happening?

Have I considered rainbowsky's feelings and experience in all of this?

If I haven't taken some basic steps to make this a collaborative, positive, community building experience for rainbowsky, why should he want to post my ask on his blog?

From now on if somebody has a question for me they can damn well do it off Anon. If you don't want me to publish your name say so in your ask and I will respect your wishes, but I will know who you are and you will be accountable to me for what you send. End of fucking story.

Sorry for the bitchiness, please don't take it too personally. I am just really at the end of my tether. My life is stressful enough as it is without having to deal with stuff like this.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hello Shaz

I would love to hear your opinion on 3D and all the talk around it

My thoughts on the talk around it is; "wow, well this is a load of garbage" (no offence to any friends I may have who don't like the song I just disagree that its a terrible song)

Alright. 3D. Let's talk. My thoughts. First, what's with the fucking homeless trousers??

I hate rich people 😭😭😭😭 if I wear this people will wonder why I didn't go back home to change after I fell in mud 😪

Anyhu, before i even say a thing. We should probably all try to remember that JK said this

(Thanks @chicknbunny13)

Yeah sure, even if he doesn't write a song, he may resonate with it. But not everything he does is a reflection of his actual life. This one, is for the Jikook antis btw. This is why my anons are still off. People, I dont have the energy for antis rn. JK sang 'girl' so what? This topic is super old and tired and consider it officially retired from this blog. I'm sooooo over it 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Now that we have that out of the way let's tackle the fact that our JK is a grown, grown adult. I don't need to bring back the live where he told people he's an adult and he is almost 30 and he will do what he wants to do. And if he wants to sing about this, that's exactly what he will sing about.

Oh my,

Even Jimin knows all about it

Tweet

BAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

Let is be known i am choosing to take that sentence literally. I think JK just means him, the girl, with champagne and confetti. I really don't think it means anything else here. But, seeing as this is another sex song, I won't put it past him.

Anyone else notice a recurring theme here?

Okay then. 😳

Also shout out to this random kid with the horse

I can't be the only one who has no clue what his point was 😂😂😂

While we are on the champagne topic,

I mean....

Make no mistake, SEVEN and 3D are singing about the same thing. If SEVEN was in your face, 3D is subtle. But they are both just talking about sex here. Which is why it doesn't make sense to me why people are so upset??? As a person who likes Harlow and has heard his songs before, this did not shock me one bit. There is nothing wrong with this song. It is meaningless and shallow but guess what, thats the type of music the GP is listening to rn. I understand why Asians have an issue with this line

And I can respect that. I don't have to understand it, but if Asians say its offensive, then its offensive. In which case I think that's just ignorance on Harlow's part. The people behind the song and JK himself are not going to okay something degrading. So it is of my opinion that people are reading too much, way too much into something that aint even meant to be deep.

It's a song, about sex. The only thing deep about it, is the holes that will be getting penetrated.

This song doesn't require to be analysed. Okay, maybe when trying to decipher the analogies being used but that's it. JK has one agenda and one agenda only; release music that the general public will devour, get his name out there and be a huge pop star. And it is working.

Cue Boracity's new video about each member and who their target audience are for each solo project

JK did not write these songs. If he did I'm sure they would have more meaning. But that's not what he's aiming for rn. Right now the man just wants to put out something that he knows will sell. Wants to put out something that will be a hit. And 3D is exactly that. Just like SEVEN. Mans was asked for the meaning of the song and by his answer, I'm not sure even he knows.

What??

Did anyone understand that???? If you did, break it down for me coz I did NOT understand that 😂😂

This song has no meaning. Its shallow, catchy, easy to remember and move to. Enough with trying to complicate shit! It ain't that deep. Period.

JK cared more about the choreo.

While Jack is calling himself a whore for wanting 4 women, JK is busy dancing throughout. So I will listen to JK and enjoy the song and choreo. Because there is nothing in the lyrics and there was never intended to be.

Idk why y'all mad when we stan a consent king:

Personally I dont have time to be angry because 1) i see no reason to be, and 2) i am too busy admiring JK's body proportions 🤤🤤

Damn, Jimin's man is hot!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[quotesfrommyreading]

In the terrible winter of 1932–33, brigades of Communist Party activists went house to house in the Ukrainian countryside, looking for food. The brigades were from Moscow, Kyiv, and Kharkiv, as well as villages down the road. They dug up gardens, broke open walls, and used long rods to poke up chimneys, searching for hidden grain. They watched for smoke coming from chimneys, because that might mean a family had hidden flour and was baking bread. They led away farm animals and confiscated tomato seedlings. After they left, Ukrainian peasants, deprived of food, ate rats, frogs, and boiled grass. They gnawed on tree bark and leather. Many resorted to cannibalism to stay alive. Some 4 million died of starvation.

At the time, the activists felt no guilt. Soviet propaganda had repeatedly told them that supposedly wealthy peasants, whom they called kulaks, were saboteurs and enemies—rich, stubborn landowners who were preventing the Soviet proletariat from achieving the utopia that its leaders had promised. The kulaks should be swept away, crushed like parasites or flies. Their food should be given to the workers in the cities, who deserved it more than they did. Years later, the Ukrainian-born Soviet defector Viktor Kravchenko wrote about what it was like to be part of one of those brigades. “To spare yourself mental agony you veil unpleasant truths from view by half-closing your eyes—and your mind,” he explained. “You make panicky excuses and shrug off knowledge with words like exaggeration and hysteria.”

He also described how political jargon and euphemisms helped camouflage the reality of what they were doing. His team spoke of the “peasant front” and the “kulak menace,” “village socialism” and “class resistance,” to avoid giving humanity to the people whose food they were stealing. Lev Kopelev, another Soviet writer who as a young man had served in an activist brigade in the countryside (later he spent years in the Gulag), had very similar reflections. He too had found that clichés and ideological language helped him hide what he was doing, even from himself:

I persuaded myself, explained to myself. I mustn’t give in to debilitating pity. We were realizing historical necessity. We were performing our revolutionary duty. We were obtaining grain for the socialist fatherland. For the five-year plan.

There was no need to feel sympathy for the peasants. They did not deserve to exist. Their rural riches would soon be the property of all.

But the kulaks were not rich; they were starving. The countryside was not wealthy; it was a wasteland. This is how Kravchenko described it in his memoirs, written many years later:

Large quantities of implements and machinery, which had once been cared for like so many jewels by their private owners, now lay scattered under the open skies, dirty, rusting and out of repair. Emaciated cows and horses, crusted with manure, wandered through the yard. Chickens, geese and ducks were digging in flocks in the unthreshed grain.

That reality, a reality he had seen with his own eyes, was strong enough to remain in his memory. But at the time he experienced it, he was able to convince himself of the opposite. Vasily Grossman, another Soviet writer, gives these words to a character in his novel Everything Flows:

I’m no longer under a spell, I can see now that the kulaks were human beings. But why was my heart so frozen at the time? When such terrible things were being done, when such suffering was going on all around me? And the truth is that I truly didn’t think of them as human beings. “They’re not human beings, they’re kulak trash”—that’s what I heard again and again, that’s what everyone kept repeating.

  —  Ukraine and the Words That Lead to Mass Murder

[portraitofadumbassonfire]

Thots On NOPE (SPOILERS)

I get why this is divisive, but, Jordan Peele has constantly described the themes of the film as dealing with Spectacle. He is 1000% right, but I personally think that the themes have even moreso to do with exploitation.

When it comes to Ricky or "Jupe" I've seen so many reviewers saying that subplot had nothing to do with the film as whole, but it did in a VERY haunting way.

When Ricky is talking about the SNL skit that parodied a traumatic time in his life, he recalls it like a well executed comedy sketch. Then it cuts back to him hiding under the table.

I've seen so many videos online that have some sort of attention-grabbing title, regardless if it's accurate to what you will actually see, but the OP is aware of what makes people click on what's to be supposedly promised in the title or the thumbnail. They know what will attract a crowd. Not to be too graphic, but even porn videos will do the same thing, anything to get clicks & clout.

When Ricky starts the show promising a spectacle, he's used to the reaction he gets, hence why he always does the show showing off the "aliens" at 8:00 PM. Or at least practices the show at night, but the reason he does probably has to do with the "aliens" showing up at that specific time, hence why it's the first time we see activity from the supposed "aliens". (When we see the lights from the show when the sun is down in the first few scenes of the film. We don't know if it's rehearsal or just another show of his.)

He's willing to risk the possibility of an attack from a wild animal like the supposed UFO because he dealt with the attack from Gordy. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. (like the shoe standing upright, which could be the "bad miracle" OJ refers to) He truly thought he could handle the intensity of the "alien ship" since he survived the attack and lived to tell the tale. He developed some kind of God complex that he could work around the danger of a "trained animal". His wife even said "Even trained animals can be unpredictable."

The people on set with Lucky are a great example. Who the hell stands behind a horse as an adult? Who's the genius who had different chimpanzees for a T.V. show with 0 wranglers? There are still people whom are dumb enough to go to the zoo and go over safety barriers, taunt the animals, or even hold their children close from any danger.

It's ironic how people are very obsessed with the concept of aliens, but if too many people can't handle creatures from earth, what makes us think we can handle the ones not from here?

The stars of the SNL skit straight up mocked a heavily disturbing moment in his childhood, yet he's still profiting off of the moment where this kids dress up as aliens to scare his neighbors as a joke and an intimidation tactic. (notice how their alien costumes look also like ape costumes)

Plus he said he was getting paid by people to sleep in a memorabilia room referencing multiple violent deaths on a TV set. Even with Oprah herself, when she interviewed the woman who was attacked by a chimpanzee and got her face ripped off, people in the comments criticize her for exploiting the woman instead of talking about how she moved on from the spectacle of a tragedy.

For the Haywoods, they're trying to uphold a legacy, they're the only black-owned horse trainers and their great great great-grandfather is someone whom had not been credited for their work as the first motion picture captured. For Emerald to be the one who captured a picture of alien proof as the descendant is SOOOO symbolic.

The cinematographer, Antlers, a white man played perfectly by Michael Wincott, didn't like the lighting in the shot he took so he took the risk to get a perfect shot. The TMZ biker had a whole helmet that reflected everything around him because who else would be obsessed with getting all of the chaos around them than TMZ? (The same publication that somehow managed to know that Beyoncé was filming the music video for "XO" & announces celebrity deaths before the family even gets a chance to.)

I've seen videos of so many disturbing events before, during, or after the fact that I can see what Mr. Peele was going for in commentating on. There's an infamous tiktok showcasing someone in the middle of a near plane crash I've seen reposted on Twitter, there's footage of a bear and a cougar in a circus attacking their supposed "trainers", talk show footage of a lion going after a toddler & almost biting the poor child it was sitting next to, the frozen and preserved bodies of those who've tried do climb Mt. Everest, and I've even seen a man who documented himself after getting graphically attacked by two grizzly bears. Yet the views on those videos reach the millions.

There's so many times a fucked up or upsetting moment in time has been exploitated to the point where it can be made a joke, a traumatic scene, or a topic of discussion, and that for me is what NOPE was commentating on. Some will not catch on with one viewing, but I recommend a second, or even third watch to fully get what's being told.

Films like that, that have a longer shelf life are what inspire me. It's a rarity that a filmmaker chooses to give their audience a challenge.

[hongjoongscafe]

Bloody Love...

Chapter: V-Familiarity-

♠︎Pairing: yandere!king!jungkookxoc(coronis)

♠︎Genre: angst, smut, yandere, gore, dark romance, horror, creepy (dark fantasy).

♠︎Summary: "you happen to be in a world where wrong is right and right is wrong."

♠︎Word count: 4.6k+

♠︎Warning: murder, stalking, pussy eating (gxg)

♠︎Note: lemme know if you wanna be added to the permanent or specific taglist!

♠︎Masterpost

♠︎Serieslist

Midnight. The time when the silence washes over the village. It is said that after midnight, the souls of the guards that died run around and protect the realm. This village was just a tiny part of that. There were numerous villages in this realm. But what made this village the worse was that the castle was closer to there.

Coronis found it silly. She loved the darkness of the night. The hauntingness of it was thrilling for her. The mist surrounding her vision gave her another satisfaction. She loved how calm and quiet it would get and there was no one hurdling her way.

Sometimes, she found everything extra silly. Things around her were unrealistic. The baseless hatred among mankind was exceptionally gruesome. It was like an everyday activity to pierce a knife through someone's heart.

At least at night, everyone was tired and shut in their shacks, leaving a speck of stability around. There was no one fighting, no one was drowning themselves in alcohol near the slouchy path. There were no deafening herds of horses or blood-curdling screams for mercy.

At night, it was all calm and collected. Yet it felt like some hawk eyes were piercing through her brain.

Coronis was with her father, coming back from the meadows on the other side of the woods. The only light reflecting was from the lantern they both held and the foggy moonlight.

The trees were blurring behind the thick haze. The path back to the village was horrendous and soaked. The mud was grossing Coronis out. The howls of the Owls were unsettling.

Amidst all the silent chaos, she could hear a crow cawing in the distance. That made her heart thump against her chest. The creepy horror was seeping into her bones as time passed.

After her brief engagement with Nori, when she returned back home, Martha told her about the work that she had to do with Draco. And they left for the meadows the next moment.

Her aunt had passed away after suffering from a bacterial infection. Though they had not visited her lately, she was still important to the family. And the wealth she had left behind was even more critical to take care of. Not because they were greedy for money but the fact that Cousin Griffin had left for the South for King's work. The property was needed to be saved from the predators who were too eager to get their hands on anything that could buy them a quick inebriation. This wealth belonged to Griffin, rightfully. And they needed to protect it for him.

Onyx had also returned the same day. He looked paler and thinner almost as if he was not fed enough. On asking, he just shrugged and said “I am just thankful to be here, alive.” which practically did not satisfy anyone's worries. Even Circe looked sympathetic to her older brother.

It was not surprising.

“We should have stayed there for a night,” Draco sighed as he stopped. It was a frigid night but his forehead was covered in sweat. He wiped and looked back at Coronis who was walking behind with a jute carrier on her shoulder, filled with emotional possessions.

Coronis stopped next to her father and dropped the sack on the ground. Her breath was huffing. “I think so. But it would have been much more perilous to bring it all with us without getting stabbed… So I think it is better now than tomorrow.”

Draco nodded, agreeing with her. “We should rest here before proceeding with this path. I feel my legs falling off.” He took out a little sheet for his daughter to sit on. They both sat down and sipped some water and munched on some bread that Coronis packed with them.

They both sat there in silence, hearing animals howl and growl in the space. But one echoing cawing was making her eye twitch... Again and again. Deep down, she could feel the frightening feeling crawling up her spine. Something was coming her way.

“Coronis…” The father sighed.

“Yes, Father,” She looked at him, who looked tired. His eyes were shrinking into his skull. The dark circles were reaching far below his cheekbones. The wrinkles looked deeper and the skin looked rough, dead of any moisture. Her heart squeezed inside her chest. He looked like a dead man walking around.

It was the first time she noticed him up so closely.

“I don't know what happened to Martha… I'm scared for her,” he let out another sigh. “We have been together for so long. I was only eighteen and she was sixteen. Since then, we have never separated our paths. We knew how things were ruling over here. None of our parents were nice to us. It was bad, really bad. When both of our parents passed away, we cried tears of happiness. We knew in this world, only we both could be nice to each other and give all the love we could… It was never enough. I never gave her enough love. I was always on foot, going around, surviving and trying to bring some food home. It was all worth it though. Whenever I came back home, she would let out a sigh of relief and look at me, head to toe, to see if I was wounded or not. Whenever she would find even a tiny little scratch, she would cry and treat it with full care.”

Draco was looking up at the dull sky, eyes holding all the stars, that the sky couldn't hold, for his wife who was waiting back at home for her two gems to come back, safe and sound. He continued, “For her whole life, she just focused on keeping us safe. You know when she was pregnant with you, she would stitch these little gowns and bows for you… I always used to ask how she was so sure that it was going to be a girl. You know what she would say?” she shook her head and he chuckled, “she would say with a blushy face that she is sure about a baby girl because she feels less stressed as if the baby in her belly was taking half of her worries. She started to Iive happier and would talk to her swell all the time about everything.” his eyes filled with tears at the far memory. “Then you were born. So calm and collected. As if you were an old lady trapped in an infant's body. You would not cry but sit there, looking tiny and pretty and just look at your mother. You brought her happiness no one ever did. Not me, not Onyx, not Circe. For some reason, you were all she ever wanted to have with me. Not that she didn't love the other two… you were just a part of her that she couldn't keep her mind away from. Someone special you could say.”

Coronis didn't know how to say anything. Her senses were filled with emotions that she couldn't quite put a finger on. She was aware of her family, and how much they were different from others. They never fought. When she saw others beating their wives to death, her father kissed his wife's pain away and told her how much he loved her and that everything will be alright.

“Seeing her so tense reminds me of days when we used to live with the fear of your grandparents attacking us. But only worse.” He said. “I hope she feels better soon.” Draco stood up, cleaning his clothes. “Stay here, I'll be back in a second.” he gestured his pinky finger and jogged deeper into the woods.

Coronis sighed and stood up herself and started folding the sheet and packing the stuff back. Soon, she heard the fluttering of a bird closer and then right above her. She looked up and saw a distressed crow above her. She gasped and tried to fling it away. “Coro! No! What happened?!” she hissed. The crow clawed her hair and turned her head in one direction. She opened her eyes and her jaw dropped. A scream bubbled in her throat but never escaped.

There stood a man much closer yet still far away. She could tell who he was. This time, his face was covered but his chest was bare… Drenched in blood. The sweat started trickling down her face, and the crow sat on her shoulder. Her chest rose up and down, trying to take in enough oxygen to at least make her stay awake and not faint. He looked like a monster standing there between the thick mist around him. The lantern in his hand made him look bloodthirsty. Though, he looked like he had just drunk up a whole human. This made her think about her father in an instant. Was he okay? Who's blood is on his chest?

She looked around and saw about five more pairs of eyes looking directly into her soul. The panic started to bubble up. She rubbed her eyes to see him clearer but the moment she opened her eyes, he was gone, as if he was never there. But she knew he was. She knew he was there to see her and would follow her along.

“Coronis,” she flinched violently and turned around. A sigh of relief escaped her seeing her father alive in front of her eyes. “What happened? Why are you looking like you are about to pass out.” He held her against his chest and patted her head. Coro flew and sat on Draco’s shoulder.

Coronis took a deep breath and closed her eyes, listening to her father's panicked heartbeat that slowly calmed her. “I got scared.”

“Of what?” he carefully asked.

“Just that you took some time to come back,” she whispered and hugged her father tighter.

Draco kissed her head, “I'm back, okay? C’mon, let's go before it is even later. And why is Coro here?”

“Nothing, he just flew and came to us.”

…

The father and daughter knocked at their house’s door. Not even a breath later, Martha opened it with a huge smile and welcomed them in.

“Ah, I was getting worried about you two,” Martha said. “I couldn't even close my eyes.”

Draco smiled and hugged her tightly and pecked her lips. “We took a break in the forest. It was a long walk… I can feel my feet falling off.”

Martha chucked, “Hm, I knew it. So, I have prepared some warm water for you to soak your feet in.” She quickly bought two buckets with her and placed them in front of two chairs. “Here, sit.”

Coronis let out a sigh as her cold and tired feet touched the warm water. The burden of the day washed out and her brain started to shut down. She had no more energy to think or process the night. It had taken a heavy toll on her mental and physical health.

The image of his blood-blanketed chest spiraled in her mind, making her shiver. In the deepest of the forests, he was following her with silent steps. She did not see him again after that. But this time she realized how much he was prowling her without her knowledge and it was enough to make her awake in alertness.

“I would say we should make Circe sleep in your room from now on,” Coronis spoke in a low voice. “I don't feel comfortable sleeping with her anymore… I'm getting older and,” she cleared her throat, “I have my own needs to take care of.”

As awkward as she made it sound, Martha understood why she said that. However, Draco felt concerned. Seeing that their daughter is now an adult and so ready to get married. He didn't voice his thoughts but kept them in his mind.

“Of course, sweetheart… We understand,” Martha said. “Would you like to have something before going to sleep?”

How lucky could she feel thinking about the chances of Circe sleeping with her parents the night he gifted that awful locket?

…

The morning was silently chaotic. The whispers, people running around, gasps. Coronis sighed, knowing exclusively well what was happening.

“What was the number?” she asked as she stepped out of her slot and paddled towards the kitchenette.

“Two hundred sixty-seven,” Onyx reminded. “But in my opinion… You should start another set of counting.”

She stopped and turned around to look at her brother with a confused look. “Why?”

“Hmm… Maybe a new tendency of assassinating the lord's men has begun. If you want to, see it for yourself… I would not propose it though but it would be three if we count the one who captured Circe. It's not a sight to see…” he saw her running outside and shook his head. He knew it was something Coronis didn't need to see. It was horrible yet not surprising.

Coronis regretted it in an instant. She shouldn't have left her shack. The scene was horrible. Gut-wrenching. One of the men was hung on the hook, his chest ripped apart, his eyes ripped out– leaving a bloody trail on his cheeks. For so long, she had only seen people with large gashes, naked, hung on the hook. In the worst scenario, a headless body with their heads hung around. It always looked like an easy way to go. Breathing life was torturous. But death came with just a few gashes and a quick snap of a sword. Later the body was mutilated but the death couldn't feel anything.

This… This was horrendous. The nails of the man were covered in fresh blood which was still not dried yet and his arms had scratches. He looked like he went through hell before he died. Unlike others, he played with hell himself.

Was it the worst anyone could do? No.

The switches in her mind snapped and lurked back in time. Last night. He was standing there covered in blood, eyes looking shallower and colder. Was he there to kill this man? What was the purpose of him to be there at all?

Something in Coronis’s mind knocked that he was behind this unfortunate. Even though any man of the Lord did not deserve any mercy, considering this man has undoubtedly beheaded many. But the cruelty he has been through shone through his limp body.

It's all his deed.

The neigh of the horse made her flinch and look in its direction. A big blunder. His piercing gaze was looking deep into hers. He had two more men on his side. One of them seemed like he was talking to him, telling him about stuff. He patted his back and nodded.

“Coronis, come back inside,” Onyx called her back, seeing how she was almost hyperventilating. She didn't even feel it. “I warned you. But my mistake is telling you to see it yourself. Now, calm down, okay? It’s alright. Everything is okay. I’m here. You don’t need to worry.”

Brothers, if good, are the biggest blessings. Coronis always felt protected and easy whenever Onyx was around. She remembered when they were little, he would always be around her. Whenever they went to the market, he would hold her hand and never let it go. And when the patrolmen and guards passed by, he would cover her eyes and hug her, whispering that everything is okay and that he would never let anyone touch any hair of hers let alone her body. He was like a human shield for her and still is.

“I’m fine, I just… I feel tired,” she whispered against his chest as he hugged her.

Onyx rested his palm on her forehead, “Coronis, you are burning. You must have caught a fever after travelling for so long. Go into your room… I'll come to you in a moment.”

Coronis followed his command like a little puppy. She slipped into her blanket and lay down, closing her eyes. She tried to shut down her brain before the anxiety rushed in. But it failed terribly.

Things have taken a big turn. It was only going downhill and she was dragging others with her, too. She didn't know why that guard was hung over there but she was worried about her family and Nori.

“There, there, little girl,” Onyx came in with a bowl full of soup and some bread. “You eat this first. I'm right here. I don't have to go to work today.”

“Where is mom?” she asked.

“She had some errands to run. She is at the market. Won't be long,” he said as he dipped a piece of bread in soup and fed her. “What happened? And don't even think of lying… I can see right through you.” He waited for her to finish and speak.

“Nothing,” she said.

“Coronis. Nothing is not the answer I want,” he said authoritatively.

Coronis sighed and tears pricked in her eyes. The burden was whacking against her chest, trying to escape and scream freely. She had no clue about how to stop all of this mess and save everyone she loved. It did not seem like a good idea to bare her feelings in front of her brother who had just returned from only he knows what misery.

“Everything is falling apart. When I think that I might be getting better or that everyone around me is getting better, it all goes down and crushes into dust. All the hopes and expectations fall apart and hurt. I'm bringing down everyone along with me,” she cried. “I feel like this is going to end very badly.” She looked into his eyes. “I do not want to lose any one of you.”

Onyx sadly chuckled and threaded his fingers through her hair. “It is going to end badly one way or another… So why not keep us aside for once and think about what makes you happy?” He smiled and hugged her. “We all are built to go away at one point. So just enjoy what makes you happy for these moments and see what happens…”

Maybe for once, she needed to break the ties.

…

A light hand caressing Coronis's head and a cold handkerchief on her forehead woke her up. Her eyes slowly blinked, trying to focus.

“Ah, did I wake you up?” a soft familiar voice spoke.

“Nori?” Coronis whispered.

“Hmm, yeah?” she asked.

Coronis looked at her and saw her sitting beside her, looking pretty as always in her black gown. She was stroking her hair, making her head feel better. “What are you doing here?”

“I met Martha in the market. She said she was going to be late as her work was still stuck… Something about the aunt that passed away. So she sent me here to hand over some stuff that was needed. Then Onyx told me you had a fever. He needed to be somewhere so I offered to stay with you,” she laid next to her and hugged her side.

“Circe?” Coronis asked.

“She went with Draco who came a few moments ago. They went to the meadows,” Nori tucked away Coronis's hair behind her ear.

“So we are alone here?” she asked.

“Mhm,” she smiled.

Nori felt like the home Coronis craved. Her sympathetic eyes and delicate face brought euphoria to her footsteps. It was the vulnerability that was fogging her mind again.

Being with Nori was what made her genuinely happy. Love or lust… She didn't know what it was but whatever it was, it was addicting. She felt like the weed that Coronis needed to smoke.

Nori… was all she felt.

“Your fever is down now…” Nori started. “ I heard that you travelled for a long time yesterday. You were already tired when you left my place,” she blushed thinking about the things they did. “I think that is why you got a fever.”

Coronis listened to her talk, “I want to be happy,” she said, keeping all of her shame aside.

Nori looked at her, “hm?”

“I want to feel happy,” she said again. “Can you make me happy? Please me? Just me and nothing in return? Would that be too selfish?”

That's what made her happy. The feeling of her hands and mouth on her. For Coronis, there were lesser feelings but the itch for physical affection was overpowering. Her needy wants were what she wanted to satisfy. As much as she felt horrible for using Nori for her needs, she had started to feel some attraction, too. Every day, she found herself drifting towards her with a need to look at her and feel her against her fingertips.

This was the only time she let go of herself and became desperate for herself.

Nori bit her lower lip shyly. “You don't have to please me in return. I love pleasing you and the feeling of you near me. That's all I want.”

Coronis turned to her side and held Nori's face. She slowly pecked her, “Then please, help me feel happy,” and whispered.

Nori kissed her passionately. Their tongues tangled together. Coronis could feel herself getting embarrassingly wet for Nori. “Please, Nori, I can't take it anymore.”

Nori crawled down and removed the blanket from her and raised the skirt of her gown. In no time, she was bare in front of her eyes.

She kissed her ankle and slowly made her way up while licking and kissing every inch of her. She kissed her inner thigh and blew hot breath on her dripping core, making her shiver and giggle dumbly.

They looked like a lovesick couple.

She could see how Coronis was dripping wet for her. Her cunt was begging for attention and so she got. Nori dipped her head between her legs and licked a long strip, capturing her clit between her lips and sucking on it.

“Fuckk,” Coronis moaned. She could feel the vibration of Nori humming on her cunt. Her fingers grabbed her hair and pushed her face harder onto her cunt. “So good for me!”

Nori pushed her two fingers into her cunt and curled them, hitting her G-spot perfectly. Coronis's back arched and her mouth fell open in a silent scream. Nori quickened her pace and fucked her with her fingers. She licked and sucked on her clit until she could feel Coronis cum. Her legs shook and closed around her head as she came.

Nori sat up and looked into Coronis’s eyes and licked her fingers clean. She smiled, “you always taste so sweet.”

Coronis chuckled. “Thank you so much,” she said after catching her breath. She sat up and fixed her clothes. “Thank you for understanding me and helping me… I can't say something out loud but you get me through so much.”

“I said it yesterday… I’ll say it again. You don't have to tell me anything. I'm just glad that we can be together here and just… Exist,” Nori smiled. But before this exchange could proceed to something schmaltzy, she spoke up again. “I have to go to the market nearby. Will you join me?”

…

As Nori was pulling Coronis with her through the crowd of the market, Coronis got lost in her thoughts.

Her mind wandered back to the morning. When she saw him covered in blood, it was around midnight. And when she saw that man hanging on the hook, it was late in the morning. It had a difference of almost two-quarters (basically, almost twelve hours) of a full day and night when she saw him and then the man on the hook.

He was covered in blood at night but the man that she saw had fresh blood dripping down his body. It looked stiff. And he was there, clean in his attire. Not a spec of blood.

The man was not killed at night. He did not kill him. As far as she could think.

Then who did? A guard or patrolman, for sure. But why?

Was he out there at night hunting for wild animals? Or was there something else he was doing? Why did it feel like it had to do something with her?

She felt like she was making everything about herself at this point. Nothing was adding up. It was all a big mess. She could not wrap her head around anything that was going on. What exactly was this?

“Coronis,” Nori shook her out of her thoughts. “Are you alright?”

“Hm?” she looked around and then back at her. “Oh yeah! I am fine, yeah.”

Nori felt strange. She could see the gears turning around in Coronis’s mind. “Can you do me a favour?”

“Yeah, of course,” Coronis said.

“I'll get the meat. Can you get the fruits from Eli's?” she sweetly asked.

“Okay,” she took the money and walked towards the Eli’s. She checked through the fruits and got the best one she could find and paid the price.

On her way back, she was met with a familiar scent that made her shiver out of her boots. She looked to her right and saw a young girl, around her age, preparing some redolent.

Coronis stepped into the shop and looked around and saw many glass bottles containing pretty coloured liquid. Each of them was labelled as different redolent. Some were floral and some were labelled as cigars. An odd choice of scent but she couldn't make a remark on it.

“What would you like?” the girl asked as she looked at the newcomer.

Coronis looked at the bottle that the girl was preparing. Its scent was almost making her suffocate yet it was pleasant to sniff. She had only sniffed it once. It had a delightful scent of woody and musky redolent.

“How much for that?” she pointed at the bottle.

The girl's eyes widened. “You can not buy that,” she said.

“Why not?”

“It's for the Lord. You know, no one can use what he exploits,” Coronis’s ears started to ring. She got out of the shop and quickly walked in Nori’s direction.

No no no, this can't be it, she thought. This can not happen. This is not real. This is not fucking real. Her hands and pupils shook in dread after the realization hit her in her guts.

Her world shattered in front of her eyes after hearing just a few words. Out of everyone, him. How unlucky was she that she was thrown into this situation? She thought she was playing with the devil but it was the Lord himself.

The sweat trickled down her face as her colour went pale. Her lips felt chapped and her throat went dry. It was forbidden. Everything that she was committing was forbidden. This could no longer happen.

Her brain was empty of thoughts and only those firey gaze remained stuck.

“Coronis!” Nori caught Coronis by her arm. “What happened? Why are you sweating like that? Did something happen? Talk to me!” she started to panic after seeing how Coronis was hyperventilating.

Coronis shoved the fruits into Nori's hands and pulled away. She looked at Nori as if she was a ghost. Her steps moved away from Nori as she tried to get a grip on Coronis. But she whimpered and her tears rolled down her cheeks. She vigorously shook her head and gestured to her (Nori) to stop wherever she was.

“Coronis, why are you doing this?” Nori felt hurt seeing the woman she loved running away from her like this. Her heart felt heavier and on the edge of bursting.

She felt sympathetic to Coronis as she saw how her face drained out of blood and looked like a phantom. Her body shook like a leaf and sweat soaked her face like water.

Poor girl must have seen something awful to make her look like this. Coronis was stronger than any woman Nori had ever seen. She always carried herself with a tough demeanour, scaring people away. And now, seeing her crumble in front of her eyes, broke her heart. She wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was fine.

“We can’t do this anymore! We are done!”

.....

Sanaa's note:

I hope you guys are doing fine! I love interacting with you all, it makes me feel like you guys actually care for my blog. It makes me feel a little important, not gonna lie. So thank you so much. I hope you will leave some feedback for this chapter as well😊

The behaviour of all the characters is visualized.

Taglist:

@veneziamadness @cheline @sansmilkbread @jayb17 @constantlydelulusional @8tinytings @tea4sykes @chimmisbae

@darkuni63 @mageprincess7 @whipwhoops @ackercute @ane102 @kimseokjinsmirror1233 @unhingedgf @jungkooks21 @namjoonscrabjuice @yluv-damara-13 @jjkreblog @lavenderymoons @passionandsuga @posionapple24 @blueberry711 @shawtylilsalty @gukiebaby

Have a nice day/night💓

[the-wales-5]

"Scene of the crime" ;)

21st November 2023.

William and Catherine were getting ready to leave for a meeting with the President & First Lady of the Republic of Korea.

The prince of Wales approached his wife and said “You look stunning today, especially in this red coat”, then he proceeded to kiss her on the lips.

"Thank you" Catherine said and smiled a little bit "But please stop with these comments now, we're getting late" she added.

William shook head and hugged her from behind. But Catherine was annoyed. She tried not to show it and sighed, but William could feel that she was frustrated so he asked: "What's going on?"

"I already told you that we're getting late" Catherine replied and rolled her eyes a little.

"No, we're not really late. There's still half an hour left for us to leave",William said and again wanted to kiss her but she rejected it once more and sighed as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"We'll get late. Are you ready now?",William asked after a few minutes

"Oh, all of a sudden you are worried about us getting late" she shouted, then scoffed and left the room.

*

“I just wanted to kiss you but you're acting like a teenager” William said when they were in the car a few minutes later.

“Just one kiss would turn to something more within seconds and I don't like that when we're about to attend an engagement, you know?” Catherine scoffed

“Recently you are annoyed about everything I see” William rolled his eyes

“What do you mean?” Catherine asked louder

“Absolutely nothing” he said and ignored her.

10 minutes later, Catherine left the car and her pictures made the whole royal side of social media blow. Fans were amazed by one of the pictures and by her outfit too.

But the Princess was far from being happy. She quickly curtsied to the king and then stood next to her husband during the horse guard parade.

He quickly understood his mistake and tried to make her smile by talking to her. Kate hardly tried to ignore it and was not paying attention to William nor his words. Yet, she almost smiled at one point.

He leaned close to her and whispered

“You're smiling, Mrs Wales”.

At last, she turned her head to him and smiled once again. Now it was more visible, but after a second, she looked in front of herself again.

Soon, they were at Buckingham Palace to see the exhibition. It was supposed to begin in the next ten minutes. All of a sudden, Catherine's husband took her hand into his and pulled her toward a quiet and dark corner of the room.

“Forgive me” he said then.

"I already did. By the way, what are you doing? I need to fix my hair now because I don't want to wear this hat inside. And the exhibition starts soon. We can talk later, William" she said.

He looked into her eyes and slowly took off her hat, letting her gorgeous brown hair scattered across her back.

Catherine giggled a little "What are you doing?"

"You said you wanted to take this hat off, right? I helped you” William said.

Kate pretended to be annoyed but he pulled her even closer "It's an official apology.. I am really sorry for annoying you earlier. Please, say we're okay now" he whispered.

Catherine was looking into his eyes for a few seconds. Then she whispered "Yes, I think we are okay now”

William smiled and gently pressed his lips on hers "And let me just repeat, you're stunning today. You always are!" he whispered.

Catherine caressed his cheek "Thank you.. I am sorry for shouting at you" she said.

“Don't be sorry, my wife” William whispered and fixed her hair a little.

One of Buckingham Palace aides cleared his throat “Sir, Ma'am. The exhibition starts soon”.

William put his hand on her back and asked “Ready?”. She nodded and put her hand on his lower back.

During the exhibition, they were caught on camera putting hands on one another's back, at one moment they even wanted to hold hands but then remembered they were on duties and quickly took apart and giggled.

“Thank god, we're going back home soon” William murmured

“What is on your mind, Mr Wales?” Catherine smirked but he didn't reply, decided to tease her and 'ignore' her just like she did at the parade earlier.

On the way home in the car, they were caressing one another's hand. Words were unnecessary between them.

*

As soon as they reached the house, they did not wait even for a second before closing the door. When she noticed that William wanted to say something, Catherine teased him “Don't talk now. You wanted to kiss me, remember?”

William looked at her and smirked a little before passionately pressing his lips on hers and taking off her red coat at the same time.

Catherine was smiling between those kisses.

"How much time we've got until you have to start preparing?" William asked her in a whisper

"A little bit more than 2 hours I think but you know that our children can come here” Catherine said. William locked the door and replied “It's not possible anymore, babe”.

He kissed her under her ear and Kate trembled as she said “It is insane”

“What is insane?” He asked and continued to kiss her

“I'm already not okay after your kisses” she said and tightly closed her eyes.

William chuckled, then lifted her up in his arms and laid her down on the bed.

Catherine smiled at him a little and said “You're wearing too many clothes”

“And you are allowed to take them off” William smirked

His wife took his suit and tie off and then said “Your shirt.. Can I take it off too?”

“Of course, my wife”

“Tear it?” She smirked as she remembered their honeymoon phase in 2011

“You can do everything you want to me now, Catherine Elizabeth. I'm yours” William whispered and kissed her on the lips again.

She smiled lovingly but her facial expression changed to a smirk as she tore his white shirt. Seconds later she pretended to be innocent as she said “I am sorry. I'll have to buy you a new one for Christmas”.

“I don't mind that” William smirked before kissing her on her neck. Catherine gasped and tried to control her breath but it was becoming heavier with each one of the kisses he placed on her skin.

“You are.. insane now” she managed to say and trembled for the thousandth time.

“It is your fault, Mrs Wales. I have been waiting for this moment since I saw you in this” he said and then slowly took off the red dress she was wearing under her coat early in the day “You looked so beautiful and I couldn't resist but wanted to kiss you”.

Catherine was smiling as she tried to focus on listening to his words. She blushed when she heard him say “I barely controlled myself from kissing you earlier at the parade today after noticing your sweet little smile”

“I would reject you. I was angry” Catherine said and winked, then she was finally able to press her lips on his. William cupped her face in his hands and whispered as he looked into her green eyes:

“Don't get angry at me anymore. I can't function properly when you are annoyed toward me, you know?”.

Catherine nodded and kissed him again, this time on his neck too. William deepened another of his lip kisses and then proceeded to kiss both of her flushed cheeks, down her chin, throat and neck again. Within time those kisses turned into little bites.

Catherine's eyes widened and she whispered his name breathlessly.

“Hsshh..” William shushed her with a soft kiss on her forehead and looked into her eyes for a second. He kept kissing her, leaving marks all over her neck and rest of her body. She could not say anything and did not want to.

Both of them were completely lost in one another at that moment and the rest of the two hours they had were spent on making love and telling sweet nothings to each other.

*

“We should get up now and start to prepare for the banquet” Catherine whispered as she caressed her husband’s back.

“I'd rather stay here and continue what we were doing, you know?” He smirked

“We have a reception to attend, my silly William” she said and laughed a little “We can continue that later tonight”.

Then, she wore one of his shirts and sat down in front of the mirror. Next thing he heard was her sigh full of annoyance and her words:

“Look what you've done to my neck, Mr Wales”

“And who's done this to my neck and chest, Mrs Wales?” William pointed at himself and smirked again.

Catherine closed her eyes and tried not to laugh. “I hope I can cover these marks you left on me with make-up” she said and pretended to feel angry.

William kissed her on the forehead and then went to take a quick shower. Catherine looked at the ceiling and sighed happily. “This is unbelievable that we're still in a honeymoon phase sometimes” she whispered and tried not to blush

“Would you like to join?” William asked from the bathroom

“NOO!” Catherine said and laughed “Hurry up, I have to take a shower too!” .

Within the next 20 minutes, Catherine finished her shower time as well and sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror “My hair's a mess right now”.

“May I help you to fix it somehow?” William asked and caressed her shoulder “You know, I help you with your hair often”

“Yes, but only at home”

“Not only there, remember the time before our wedding reception?”

“It was a simple blow dry”

“Come on, it doesn't mean I can't do anything more” he said and took her comb and hair dryer in his hand “Let us try it”.

Catherine smiled a little and again looked at love bites on her neck.

“I wonder how much make-up will I have to put here” she wondered

“It's not my fault” William said innocently and chuckled a little “I am afraid you won't be able to hide it completely” he teased her

“Don't say that!” Catherine sighed “What if they see it?” She blushed then

“You should not be worried about that” William replied

“You don't know what you are saying because your marks will not be seen in pictures” she blushed again.

William chuckled softly and kissed her on the forehead “I am sure you will cover them perfectly. Don't worry. Are you planning to do an updo tonight?I was thinking about an half up and half down just like you did for our wedding”

"It's a perfect idea. And I think it will fit the tiara I want to wear tonight" Catherine said and looked at her husband

"Your wedding one?" William laughed

"No, my wedding one is too significant to wear again" Catherine smiled

"Cambridge Lover's Knot again?” William asked and rolled his eyes a little “Or else the Lotus, right?” He said

"No, something new for me this time" Catherine smiled a little "The Strathmore tiara”

"The Strathmore?” William was quite shocked “Pa gave you the Strathmore? Is it repaired now? It hasn't seen light for like 100 years!”

"Yes but it's beautiful and I can't wait to wear it" Catherine said

"You will look drop dead gorgeous with it" William said and smiled “Let's try make your hair perfect for it”

"Okay" Catherine smiled and tried not to blush again. She was relaxed now and completely forgot about that pointless fight with William.

The Prince of Wales was not skilled at hairdressing but he did the draft very well and Catherine was impressed.

"Do you like it?" He asked after seeing a little smile on her face

"Yes, it reminds me of my wedding hair a little bit. Thank you" she said.

"You're welcome, but I think Natalie will have to fix it a bit and then you'll be perfect to go" William said and kissed her on hand “I'll wait downstairs” he added. Catherine smiled at his way and called Natalie to help her.

*

They were in the car a few minutes later on the way to Buckingham Palace. William was looking at his wife almost all the time, feeling mesmerised by her beauty. Catherine knew about looks he was sending her and squeezed his hand a few times throughout the way. Before they arrived in front of the palace, the princess checked herself in the mirror and said quietly “Oh no.. Why didn't I notice it earlier? It is too late now to fix it”

“What?” William asked as he looked at her

Catherine did not reply but pointed at her neck and sighed.

“It is not that dark or visible if one would not look too closely” William said

“I should have noticed it before” Kate closed her eyes, feeling embarrassed and angry too.

“They will not notice it, Catherine”

“How can you be so sure?” she sighed “It is rather easy to see it, especially with the cameras nowadays, you know?” she scoffed

“Stop worrying, please. Everything will be okay”

Catherine rolled her eyes a little and then sighed "Well.. I hope you are right because now I can't fix it anymore”

"I am right. Let's get inside now" William whispered and gently kissed her on cheek before leaving the car.

They were photographed at the door and those photos went viral on social media. Eagle-eyed followers noticed a bite mark on Catherine's neck.

William's wife was smiling, but in the back of her mind, she still had these thoughts full of annoyance at herself. However, she started to feel more relaxed when Princess Anne approached her.

"Someone's left a mark of his crime!" Anne teased Catherine at some point of their conversation. Kate didn't know what to say, she just blushed a little and then looked away.

Anne chuckled and looked at William who mouthed from afar: "Is everything alright?”.

"Yes" Catherine mouthed too and then chuckled. She looked at Anne and said "You should tease him, not me”

"He's tensed enough already" Anne said and laughed a little,"I didn't want to embarrass him even more”

"But you had to embarrass me, yes?" Catherine rolled her eyes a little but then laughed too.

"You are my favourite, you know that” Anne said and winked.

They continued their talk, and Catherine finally could feel relaxed.

When the banquet ended and they were in the car, William asked his wife about her conversation with his aunt.

"Among other things, we talked about a love bite, thanks to you" Catherine replied and rolled her eyes a little.

William sighed and said "I thought nobody would notice"

"Your aunt has an eagle eye, unfortunately," Catherine replied

"I'm sorry, Kate..” William whispered.

Catherine looked at him and smiled a little."Why are you being sorry? It's not anything serious, Wills” she said quietly.

"But she embarrassed you" William said

"She is my family and one of the best people for us at the moment, and she made me laugh anyway, so I don't see a problem" Catherine said quietly and smiled.

“So, you are okay?”

Catherine nodded and caressed his cheek,"I haven't been happier like today for a long time" she whispered and placed her head on his shoulder as hugging his arm "Kiss my forehead now” she whispered again.

William smiled at her lovingly, then gently kissed her on the forehead and told her that he loved her. The night outside the car window was a beautiful one, but for Catherine's husband, she was the most important at that particular moment.

The end ♡

[popcorn1989]

Please do 3 and 27 with Sihtric ❤️❤️❤️

Notes: You didn't text me, whether with Reader or a character from the series, so based on the prompts I chose F!Reader, hope that's ok.

Pairing: Sihtric x F!Reader

Summary: "What is this feeling" - "What feeling?" - "The feeling that your heart only yearns for one person that doesn't let you sleep. The feeling that you just want to be with the person, that they belong to you. And you can't think of anything else" - "That it's called love Sihtric, nice to see you love your wife so much" - "I don't mean my wife, Finan"

"You mean the way is right?" you ask as you ride through the unfamiliar village, and the strangers looked at you and Sihtric suspiciously. "Yes, after this village, comes a piece of forest, and then we have to go through the other village and..." - "And then another piece of forest, then past the graves, then left and right, then straight on past the triangles of stature and..."

Below you stopped him and mimicked him because it had been going on for hours, and you're starting to wonder if he was chasing you across all the fields on purpose, so he could annoy you, but he stopped too your flood of words "Shut up, it's not my fault that it's so far away, are you questioning my knowledge?" he asked angrily, scowling at you as he did so.

He was in an awful mood today, so you didn't want to upset him any further and just shrugged. But he wasn't satisfied. "If you think like that, then you can continue on your own. Maybe you'll find a faster way" he spat on the ground and brought his horse to a standstill. You gave a short sigh as you also stopped your horse and watch him drink from the waterskin "I didn't mean it like that" actually an apology, but his mood was reflected in his face.

A villager stopped at your horse with several apples in his arms and handed you one. "For a piece of silver, the lady gets a whole sack full of good apples" before you could grab the apple, Sihtric intervened "We don't need any apples, go away" the man nodded to him, but looked at you, hopefully. "I said we don't need anything" Sithric spoke again, only deeper and more dangerously, and he nudged his horse, urging the man away from you. He grabbed your reins and led your horse. Stunned, you looked back at the man who was picking up the apples that had fallen by the push.

"What's the matter with you?" you asked when you saw the petrified face of Sihtric. "So I'm supposed to starve on the trip?" slowly his face turned to you. "We have enough, my wife baked and gave me some. You won't starve" - "Oh, that's ... nice… From your wife, I wonder what she didn't give you that makes you so angry" - "THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER" he yelled at you suddenly, so that you flinched for a moment.

A joke, but you decided not to speak to him again. He threw you the reins of your horse and made his run faster, you just decided to follow him. But you're thinking hard about what you did to him yesterday, when you realize that you didn't see him yesterday, like the other days, like he's avoiding you. Maybe he didn't like you and wasn't pleased to have you around?

Hours passed, and you got the feeling that his mood was slowly improving. Was it because you didn't say anything? Or has he calmed down? It was getting dark, and he stopped and dismounted his horse in a rooted spot. "We'll rest here," he said softly, tying his horse to a branch. You jumped off and looked at him. "Only if it's fair to the lady?" he asked as he watched you do it, some branches gathered in his arms. You turn away from him and tie your horse next to his, but don't answer him.

The whole time, you didn't know what to say. You were now sitting together in front of the flickering fire, and you felt a little uneasy when you noticed how he was watching you work a thicker stick with your knife. "Don't look at me like that" you just said quietly, and he started to smile. A smile that made your heart melt "I'm just wondering..." he said and shook his head, not speaking further, "What? What are you asking yourself?"

"I wonder if you hate me very much" you looked up in surprise. "Why should I? I keep wondering how much I annoy you and if you hate hanging out with me." He looked up as well and your eyes met. "I don't hate you, not at all" - "Then why are you like this?" - "What do you mean?" - "Sihtric... you're an asshole since we left" he took a deep breath and looked back into the fire. Nothing came and you left it at that. "I have to .... I don't know, it's difficult" - "Your wife's bread is very tasty" you divert the topic.

You had no idea where that sentence would lead. "I can't stand her" You choke on your bread and looked at him asking "But Sihtric, she's your first love" - "Yes, as long as I knew what love really is" You didn't want to talk about it, he finally could not serious, but you had to ask "And... well... you're in love with someone else? And your wife... do I know her?" he nodded "You know her very well but Finan told me not to talk about it"

"Then we shouldn't, Finan is very smart about that." You swallowed your bread and hoped it didn't get stuck in your throat. The topics you talked to about Sihtric were mostly brief and never about love. "I think of you every day," he said softly. You started to blush, hoping the firelight would cover it up. "We should focus on getting over the path to Uhtred," you say.

He took another deep breath and stood up, "That's the Problem… I can't focus as long as you're with me .... You have no idea, if you were to tell me to stand still in the middle of a battlefield, I would. If you were to ask me to leave my wife, then I would … I would do anything for you" he said softly. You didn't see his face because his back was turned to you. It was indeed a difficult subject, and you didn't know what to say to it, even though you felt the same way. But you felt that it shouldn't be your decision, it should be his.

You got up slowly and wanted to go to him, but he must have heard it, he walked off and spoke seriously "I'll take a look around, so we don't have unexpected visitors" You gathered all your courage, ran after him and grabbed his shoulder. "I feel the same, but don't ask me for advice" he looked at you in surprise "You feel the same?" he asked quietly, his eyes searching for small signs that you weren't lying to him, you smiled and kissed his soft lips, he hesitated, but then returned your kiss.

[kydrogendragon]

Dec 18 - Mistletoe

(Ao3 Link) (Masterpost Link)

A fire crackles in the fireplace of The White Horse. Hob can hear the sound of the other patrons around, ribbing each other, cheering and hollering, but when he turns, there is no one there. He’s alone. And he’s not. And isn’t that a metaphor for Hob’s whole life?

He drinks some nondescript ale from a tankard that looks more fitting in the 1400’s than… What year is it now? He looks around and recognizes the decor and styling of the White Horse back from her years in the 19th century. And yet, as he looks down at himself, he’s wearing that same outfit he’d worn waiting here all day back in 1989.

Ah… He’s dreaming, then.

He hasn’t had a dream since… God. Since the Great War? World War One as it’s referred to, now. It’ll still be the Great War in his mind, he thinks. Odd, though, that he’s having a dream now. Maybe the shell shock finally wore off and the trauma from it all let his mind finally rest enough to think of a dream.

It’s a bit of a cruel dream, though, isn’t it? Hob takes another sip. Guess that’s what dreams are good for though, aren’t they? Being cruel. Or to teach you some sort of lesson. Hob knows what this lesson is. A reminder to himself that lives are short and no matter how many of them he lives, it’ll still just be him, alone, at the end of the day. Maybe not even with his Stranger, now.

God’s Wounds, his Stranger. He should have never pushed at their last meeting. Sure, he could have phrased things better, told him that he was lonely to start. It had never been an accusation or a judgment - and he’s afraid that’s just what his Stranger thought. No, no it was simply an open hand, an invitation, in case he’d correctly seen his own loneliness reflected in his Stranger’s eyes. Given that he never showed up last year, though, Hob’s starting to think he’s just been imagining things.

Maybe he truly did lose him, his one constant in this long life of his. And now he’s just here, alone in a pub, drinking by himself, surrounded by a faceless crowd.

If he could just… explain, maybe. If he could just-

His Stranger is there. He sits across from him in an odd black robe, floating in a non-existent breeze. His skin is paler than usual, his eyes and face looking more gaunt than many men Hob had seen when he’d lived on the streets. It is a paltry imitation of his Stranger, a nightmare wearing his face, that graces the other side of the table.

Hob smiles.

“Just thinking about you, you know,” he says, watching the dream of his Stranger’s eyes widen. His eyes were so blue. Had they always been so blue? “You’re a bit late. Get your calendar flipped around, did you?”

His Stranger does not speak. Hob did not expect him to. He rarely offered words in their previous meetings in the real world. Why would this dream, this distorted memory, be any different?

“I waited for you that whole day. Kept thinking you were just trying to sweat me out and that you’d show up right there at the last minute and everything would be good.” He glides his finger across the rim of his now glass mug as he speaks. “Then the clock ticked over and you weren’t there.”

His Stranger leans forward, his eyes still wide and almost… pleading?

“I missed you… Even if you’d probably storm out on me for saying it. Doesn’t matter if you don’t see me as a friend, doesn’t matter if you never will. You’re my friend. You’ll always be my friend. Whether you like it or not.

“Besides, I’ve had many nights that I’ve laid awake trying to figure out how I should have said it all back at the last time we met. I would have told you that the one thing I’ve realized over my long life is that, as wonderful as every part of it is, as amazing as all the glorious people I get to meet, get to know… it’s still lonely. It’s lonely because no one can ever know the real you, the whole of you. No one stays around forever. There’s no family to fall back to, no growing old together with the ones you love. It’s all temporary. And that is part of the beauty, it’s what gives it all meaning, but it doesn’t take away from the hurt of it.

“But then there’s us. Or others like us. I’ve met a few since then. Never stayed with them long. They had their own ways, their own lives. Never a true constant. But you were to me. You were a constant that I wouldn’t have otherwise. And so I thought, maybe, that’s what you were after all those centuries ago: a constant. And I’d be glad to be it for you, just like you are for me. Because if you’re just as lonely as I am, I’d want to help relieve it if I could.”

Hob sniffs, lifting the glass to his lips, draining the rest of the ale. “Anyways… That’s what I should have said, back then.”

His Stranger is… is crying, he thinks. There’s no sound, no real motion, either, but small translucent trails run down his cheeks from his eyes. He’s never seen his Stranger cry before. He looked close when he’d ran him off back in 1889. Hob feels like he ought to look away. He doesn’t, though. No, instead, he stares right ahead as he continues to let the words he’d held deep in his core come stumbling out.

“D’you know, it’s Christmas time here. Ten years until the next turn of the century. It’s a big one. The 2000s! Never thought I’d live to see it and yet, here I am. Would have loved to have shared it with you. Would have loved to share a great many things with you.

“We never did need to only meet once every hundred years, you know. I would have gladly welcomed you anytime you wanted to drop by. Unless it’s a thing where you physically can’t come to Earth or something. Never did figure out what you were. Not human, knew that much. Maybe that’s why you were late? Held up by cosmic traffic or some nonsense.

“You’d have loved the Internet, I think. Could have shown you the wonders of email and cell phones. Could have taken you to a film, even. Bet you’d have liked a film. Popcorn and all.”

Hob laughs to himself, fiddling with the no longer empty glass in his hands. “You know, I even bought that overpriced Porsche to meet up with you because the salesman assured me it would win over anyone that saw it. Course I’m pretty sure he thought I was trying to woo the ladies with it. Would have tried to woo you, though. If you’d have let me.”

It’s at that statement that his Stranger jolts back in his seat, face contorted into an expression Hob’s not entirely sure is pain, anger, or just straight up shock.

“Would you have wanted me to woo you, old Stranger? Is that what I’ve been doing wrong all these years? I’d been trying to be a friend when I should have been courting you? Maybe that’s why you lost interest in me for that Shaxberd. It was right after I’d told you of my wife and child, after all.”

The table between them is no longer there. It had never been there. Hob looks up to see a sprig of mistletoe sprouting from the ceiling between the pair of them. He smiles.

“Well, mistletoe. Y’know, they say it’s bad luck to not kiss under there. I’d hate to give either of us that curse.”

He caresses his Stranger’s cheek, watching those ocean blue eyes flutter close as he leans into the touch. Hob leans forward.

His lips are cold. Most of him was cold, in fact. A dream, Hob’s brain reminds him. This is just a dream. But his lips are mind-numbingly soft, though. And still so rosy, despite their icy feel. His Stranger’s hand lifts from his lap and curls tightly into the thin white shirt under Hob’s blazer. He pulls him close and Hob goes willingly. They part, just barely, before his Stranger pulls him back in, slotting his mouth against the demanding force. Hob’s own lips are pushed open as a strikingly warm tongue curls into his mouth. His eyes fall closed, savoring the taste and feel of his Stranger like this.

Hob’s eyes open to reveal the white of his ceiling, slightly yellowed by the morning sun. He sighs and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Wisps of memories flash in his mind. The White Horse… his Stranger… soft lips and blue eyes…

Christ, he’s hard. He turns to face his alarm. Well, he’s still got some time before he actually has to get up and get moving. Hob snakes his hand under his boxers and wraps a hand around himself with a hiss. A morning orgasm always made for a good start to a Monday after all.

Miles away, in the basement of Fawney Rig, Dream sits, still encased in his cage of glass and iron. He feels colder than he has in years. He closes his eyes and fights the tears that threaten to fall as the memory of Hob Gadling’s words plays on repeat in his mind and the ghost of his lips and his touch haunt his skin.

[dreamingnights]

The way I see you

Brienne of Tarth x fem!reader

Disclaimer: this is one of my first attempts at writing fanfiction and I am so excited. I hope you enjoy it!!! English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistake. Loads of fluff and hurt/confort.

Warnings: none.

After the terrible events that happened in Westeros, your father demanded your return. He did not think that you were safe while you were away from him, so he asked Brienne of Tarth to accompany you on your journey. The woman swore to protect you and even give her life if necessary, because apparently her own father owed your family a favor from a long time ago.

You had been riding together through the mysterious forests of Westeros for two weeks, and you had the feeling that you did not really know this woman. Under the daylight she was silent, upright on her horse and ready to face any unexpected danger. Her posture exuded power and elegance. You occasionally gave her brief furtive glances trying to hide your fascination. However, sometimes your eyes would meet and Brienne would bring an almost imperceptible smirk to her face when you quickly looked away from her. During the day you kept those images in your memory and then you captured them on paper when the cold did not let you sleep. Drawing had always brought you incomparable peace, and Brienne's singular beauty had been a great source of inspiration from the beginning of your journey.

Days passed by, and Brienne felt closer and closer to you. She admired your eloquence, your kindness and the great sensitivity that shone behind your delicate looking body. The will to protect you from anything that could put you in danger was stronger every day. Brienne could see truth in your clear eyes, and after some time she felt that she could trust you completely.

One night she told you that, a long time ago, her father had organized a ball that had become a horrible nightmare: all the boys had laughed and had made fun of her because of her peculiar appearance. At that moment you could perceive the vulnerability that was also hidden under her almost permanent stoicism. Your hand rested timidly on her arm while you suppressed the desire to hug her and shout outloud that the image of herself that she held in her mind was not true. At that moment you had an idea and you slowly got up to get your bag, leaving Brienne pensive by the fire. Even though you normally didn't show your drawings to anyone, as they represented your true desires and fears, you felt that Brienne's eyes had to admire her own self the same way that you did. The woman snapped out of her thoughts as you timidly rested a sheet of paper on her lap. It was the drawing of a leafy forest adorned with a small waterfall.

- Nature is beautiful and exuberant. -You said as you put another sheet of paper on top. In it you had drawn a starry sky with a big full moon. -But also dark and mysterious.

Brienne stroked the drawing and smiled at you. When she looked like she was about to say something you showed her three other sketches. The woman was stunned as she stared at those papers with wide eyes. In one of them she saw herself riding upright and powerful on a beautiful horse. In another she was sitting on a rock sharpening a long sword. And in the third one she saw the reflection of her own face. Her piercing eyes stared back at her and her short platinum hair framed her powerful features. Brienne couldn't stop admiring her portrait. She couldn't deny that you had captured the subtleties of her face perfectly.

- And you are imposing, brave, strong... And beautiful. - You whispered after a few moments that seemed eternal to you. Your heart was beating with unstoppable rapidity.

- If you wished to represent beauty, you should have drawn your own portrait, milady. -Brienne said, finally looking up from her lap and resting her eyes on yours. Her expression was a mixture of wonder and adoration. It was clear that your words had moved her deeply.

- This is how I see you. -You finally answered.

Then, slowly, Brienne lifted her hand and gently brushed your cheek with her fingertips as she held her blue gaze on your face.

- I will never allow anything bad to happen to you in my presence. I swear by the old gods and the new.

It had been a long time since either of you had felt so happy.

[eirzera-blog]

Mk the Chaos King (AU/Theory)

To start this off, I need to give some context. Season four spoilers are advised. 

First off the Scrolls. The Scrolls also known as the book of death, are items used to punish criminals and well sinners. It’s a device that meant to make people reflect on their past mistakes. The ones who protect and use these scrolls are the Ten Kings. 

Each King has a different role to play. The theory is that Mk was one of them. Specifically the fifth. The fifth King is known as the son of heaven, and is the most powerful of all of the kings (from what I researched) his rank is so high is basically that next to an emperor. And I know that seems a bit extreme considering it’s Mk we are talking about. But after season four you can’t tell me this boy isn’t that powerful! 

Especially when Mk legitimately slapped Azure with is tail and caused Azure Lion (This guy who is the size and the power of the jade emperor himself) to go flying. 

(Not to mention Mk’s Chinese name Qi Xiaotain means little heaven.) 

So it’s safe to assume there is something more to Mk then just Monkey Kings Successor. 

Furthermore Mk’s flash back. I’m his flashback of very short cut memories. You can see a goddess who I am guess is the creator goddess Nuwa because she creates beings out of clay and she is holding a clay statue of Monkey Mk. 

Mk isn’t the only statue we see. There are nine others. Each a different animal: Bear, Bird, Mouse or Rat, Rabbit, Ox/Bull, Horse, Pig, Turtle, and Goat. As well as another monkey statue (but I will get into that later) 

Each that can represent a different king. Especially the Bull/Ox and Horse considering in Chinese mythology there are two underworlders who are call Oxhead and horseface.  

Now the interesting part. Mk’s title Harbinger of Chaos. This fits with him being one of the ten kings. First it’s the scroll itself. Due to Mk having no memories or no name of who he once was the only thing the scroll has anything to go off of is what he was entirely, a being of chaos. Which is exactly what the kings are. The kings are designed one person, cause chaos. They were meant to torture and plunder criminals. That’s their job, as they are originally titled the ten kings of hell. 

And Mk fits the Fifth Kings role perfectly. The fifth kings duty is to past judgement. The king gives the criminals to reflect on what they have done and then proceeds to give them karma. 

Mk has technically already done this. First the Demon Bull king. DBK was originally put under the mountain as punishment for basically becoming a tyrant ruler. When he is freed he tries to go right back to that, not learning his lesson. Mk gives him karma by remaking the exact same punishment as before as a way to basically make DBK reflect and realize that nothing has changed. Which takes two seasons for him to figure out but it still works. 

Second Spider Queen. Mk doesn’t really say anything to her speech like. However his entire presence seemed to make her reflect on her actions. And then theres the dialogue he had for Macaque. 

“I was meant to rule. I was, I would've been a good queen.”

“Well, I mean, that's definitely not true. You were in charge for like, a day, and it was, ah, it was so bad.” 

Season 2, 72 Transformations 

“Then be a warrior.” 

Season 3, Destiny Fulfilled 

Then there’s the Lady Bone Demon. Obviously there’s the magic of friendship speech he gives while also destroying her with his giant staff. But I more want to focus on their last conversation. Because I believe this wasn’t her trying to mess with him. It’s her confessing on what she did wrong. 

“So it would seem. Know this monkey, you and I are not so different. We both fight for what we think is right, that pursuit only leads to one thing.”

“, to destiny right?”

“No. To pain.” 

Season 3, Destiny Fulfilled 

This is LBD’s reflecting and confessing her sins. She believed just like Azure that she was doing the right thing. But she was blinded by the negativity and her desire for Destiny that she didn’t realize that she was causing more pain. It’s almost as if she knew who Mk really was (this a speculation in all honesty I’m not sure) and that if she didn’t confess now before she died completely she would have been thrown into one of the scrolls. 

Lastly is Azure. This doesn’t need much explanation. Most of the dialogue MK says during his fight with Azure says it all. 

“That's who you were pretending to be right? To be my friend? To care about me? When really, you were just USING me to get what YOU wanted! To turn me against my own mentor.” 

“Put your hands in the monkey cage, expect to get bit son!”

Season 4, Emperors Wrath? 

This whole fight was Mk’s role shedding light. Making AL reflect on his actions while also giving him a karma beat down. And at the end with Mk present, he confesses before fixing his wrongdoings and dying. Sad. 

Since I don’t have a lot towards my theory. Trust me this was very little info on the ten kings. I can’t seem to find proper names for any of them. I have decided to make it an AU. Because In all honest I like this too much to not make it an AU. 

The AU is basically this. After season 4 Mk has been out of it. Guilt for Azure and scared of himself after seeing how powerful his monkey self was. But it’s not enough to take away his curiosity. Ever since his time in the scroll he has been confused on who he is. What he is. Until he comes across a women who seems familiar. Too familiar….

Remember the other monkey statue. Well it’s said that the fifth king has a twin sister.