#did you know i actually call this ship homicide sometimes?

[dearmizumi]

So uhm uhm I like this ship too much to ignore it so uhm I MADE A BB!!!! If you wanna know more about him, feel free to ask!!! I got a whole backstory lore in the making for this lil child ehehehhhehe 😈😇

[windor-truffle]

many thoughts head full they're only tangentially graces related but idk where else to vent:

I feel like I should have/did already know this about myself but holy shit I (and many others) am an absolute slut for the redemption-style ship trope, the ol' "I know you and I love you and that's why I can't let you deviate into this darker place I'm stopping you I'm saving you I'm helping you I'm bringing you back." and now I'm gonna ramble abt it because aaaaaaaaaa

I swear I've loved this trope for a while now but I think analyzing graces in part heightened my awareness of it until it hit a breaking point (w an ace attorney video of all things) and I realized that *all* of my favorite ships are this way 😅 Richard and Asbel fit it of course they're like the prototype of the simplest yet effective way to enact this: a pure-hearted protagonist who believes in his friends until the end but is willing to stand against them vs the love interest coerced (and in this case also outright possessed) into very obviously morally wrong actions by the exacerbation of a flaw but ultimately saved when they can put aside their pain and embrace the help that comes with companionship and makes that pain bearable. Paragons that cling on to hope even if it makes them seem naive or causes them to get hurt sometimes along the way are SO sexy and when that hope is rewarded with what they wanted, the redemption of someone who others thought to be beyond salvation, I the audience am also bursting into tears I don't care if it's cliche it's SO GOOD 😭

You know which other popular ship does this? Not hard to figure out I already mentioned Ace Attorney but yeah Phoenix Wright changed his whole career just because he heard that the hero who once stood up for him when no one else would was now a ruthless prosecutor and he had to find the truth of what had happened to his beloved childhood friend Miles Edgeworth (I've made the Richass comparison before and there's even an AA AU fic for graces but I haven't read it yet 😔). The AA fandom eats this gay ship up but how can you not 💜 Edgeworth being stopped in his tracks by this incessant bluffing optimistic man who stood fast against his selfishness (paraphrasing something Edgeworth literally says in JFA 😅) until he starts to question himself (because of some "unnecessary feelings") and eventually actually believes in himself after years of feeling guilt over a crime he thought he committed and shame of letting down the beliefs his supposed victim instilled him (the same beliefs that Phoenix is determined to bring out in him again) and ultimately leaves to figure out what his goal as a prosecutor really is then returns for my all-time favorite case Farewell and Turnabout and now it's Edgeworth's turn to say "I've learned what I stand for and the lengths to which I'd go to maintain it because you set me on this journey, now it seems it's your turn to walk this same path of doubt and discovery but don't worry I'll be right beside you, I'll walk it with you so you don't have fear going as far astray as I once did." Like. ;_;

But holdup I'm not done naming ships 'cause Fluri also does this to an extent. Yuri has to call out Flynn when it becomes apparent his blind trust in his mentor has made him complacent in the very crimes he sought to fix from within, and Flynn retorts by condemning the methods that Yuri has resorted to, the "dirtying of his hands," though I'd argue though that Yuri's double homicide is actually not a deviation from his morality but rather an extreme fulfillment of it. But it's still delightful though the way they have to pull each other back from the pitfalls of their own brands of justice, ie. entrusting too much power in fallable governments vs. appointing yourself the power to decide who gets to live or die. And like the previously mentioned ship, this pair works the best when they combine their different approaches (everything about how they infiltrate Ragou's manor is brilliant) because that way they can keep each other in check. It's almost like finding the balance in enacting justice is the theme of these games or something 😅

Last ship I wanna mention isn't even in canon but I can't resist the opportunity to plug my own (unfinished 😓) sormik fic "Falling Awake" because this is DEFINITELY what I was going for, a Mikleo threading the line of morality out of both despair and desperation to see their dream fulfilled even if the cost is steep, and a Sorey who struggles to reconcile whether this fallen seraph before him really is his friend or whether he can even be saved. A Mikleo who places the decision of whether to cross that line fully in Sorey's hands, trusting him to make the right call even as he begs him to let him do this, and a Sorey who can't let down the dreams of their past by allowing this particular tainted method to be its fulfillment. Everytime I work on it I start weeping even though I'm the one who wrote it 😅

Before I wrap this up though I wanna shoutout some variations of this trope, because it can obviously go a lot of different ways. I know V's rather fond of the more twisted love version in which instead of trying to bring their loved one back from the brink they jump off together, a la Kresnik Bros Bad End Best End 😁 In some ways I almost think this trope is "purer" because rather than trying to restore their beloved to what they think they should be (morally good) they embrace them as they are (amoral but kinda sexy bc of it 😂). True love lets the world burn 💜

Also worth mentioning is the delicious variation wherein the fallen party really was bad from the start, such as being a mole for an evil group, but caught feelings along the way and started wanting to be the kind of person the other seemed to think they already were. Dramatic irony is my fave and there's so much angst you can tease as the character evolves from "haha I'm deceiving them can't wait to betray them" to "shit I'm actually so much happier here with them but our relationship is built on a lie and when it comes out that I am a villain I will be undone and have nowhere to turn except from whence I came but I no longer want to be there." I feel like there's a lot of instances of this trope but the one that came to my mind first was Shadowhand Essek from Critical Role, there's the excellent Shadowgast ship of course but I like that he has this dynamic with the whole party who have been nothing but kind to him and inspire him to want a better life despite what he's done and what he's still trapped in.

Anyway, if anyone read this far first of all thank you 💜💜💜 I really have just been stuck in fandom ramble analysis mode for the past few days it's kinda insufferable but at least tumblr blogs are a good outlet for it 😅 And secondly uhhh if any of my impassioned ship/trope descriptions remind you of a particular media/ship lmk (I feel like Soriku might fit this but I never got that far into the series). I can't say I'll get to anything right away but if it's got this kinda vibe that's like catnip to me I'll happily stash the recommendation away for a future obsession someday 😅

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Thor’s twin

Thor Odinson x twin!reader

warnings:

a/n: HSHSHHSHSHHSHSGS

prompt: @locke-writes: “Wait Lacey I have a headcanon idea if you’re willing to write it. Headcanons for being Thor’s twin??? Idk man I feel like that could be unbridled chaos”

okay, i believe that odin and frigga refused to tell the two of you who was born first

“either one of you could earn the throne, but you need to prove that you can handle the responsibility” -odin

jokes on him, neither of you cared for the opportunity to rule

you two were much better suited as warriors

you were both able to weild mjölnir, which created...disagreements

“i should have mjölnir! i lifted it first!” -you

“only because you pushed me out of the way!” -thor

“will you two just rip each other apart already?” -loki

speaking of loki, his pranks always exhausted you

especially when you appeared to have woken up in your twin brother’s body

“wh-what is this? LOKI!!!”

he always got a kick out of it

and the celebrations of victory? they never disappointed

“brother! another victory on the battlefield, but was there any other doubt?” -you

“of course not, y/n! at this rate, i don’t think we’ll ever fall!” -thor

“don’t put your hammer where your mouth is” -you

you and thor were definitely unstoppable fighting together, both blessed to be literal gods

“eyes front, thor! the fight’s not over yet!”

when you walked beside each other, sometimes you’d summon mjölnir to your hand

it always annoyed the hell out of him

“give that back”

“i don’t think i will”

“y/n, i’m serious”

“come and get it”

“that’s it!”

*swatting and wrestling in the middle of the hallway*

sometimes frigga would even catch the two of you arguing

“oh, my children. would you quit your bickering for just one moment?” -frigga

“but mother, y/n took my hammer!” -thor

“you’ll just have to learn how to share” -frigga

as the years flew by, there was always something crazy to occupy you

especially the day that thor had been banished, which hadn’t exactly gone as planned for loki

you were supposed to be banished, as well

“i suppose the future of the throne is your responsibility now, my child” -odin

“i...i don’t know what to say” -you

“but y/n doesn’t desire the throne one bit, i would have no problem stepping up, father” -loki

“we’ll deal with this later, brother” -you

you had to plan something with sif and the warrior’s three

yes, it was treason, but your brother would always be worth it. no matter how much you two argued, he was your other half

now you found yourself on earth, it was such an odd-looking place

and then you were chased by a destroyer

“thor, you must get to safety! i will not lose you again!” -you

“hi there, i’m jane...” -jane, obviously

“hello, lady jane! i’m y/n, thor’s twin!” *blocks debris* “i must go now!”

life didnt get much more simple after that, especially since loki had died (or so you thought) and the bifrost was completely destroyed, it would take a long time to fix any of the damages that asgard suffered

mourning over loki felt right and wrong at the same time, he betrayed you and your family, but you’d never stop loving him

he would always be your brother

as time went on, you had to visit earth once again because of...loki

“i should have known” -you

“yes, you should have” -thor

“you didn’t know, either!” -you

“and they call us petty?” -any SHIELD agent or avenger

loki mocked you when he was captured

“you were nothing but loved growing up, brother. what happened?” -you

“there was a shadow cast over me, thor’s shadow. don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it, either. odin only ever truly notices him and all of his feats” -loki

“you tell nothing but lies, loki. i won’t fall for them and i will not help you. you should stop while you’re ahead”

“so you agree that i’m ahead?”

threatening loki with mjölnir

ppl actually called mjölnir “thor’s hammer”

“i think you mean our hammer” -you

the battle of new york was admittedly terrifying, you knew loki had it in him, but seeing it in the moment just hurt you

it was possible you had a guilty conscience

but the avengers saved the day (mostly) and you brought loki and the tesseract home

and loki was sentenced to an eternity in prison

“hey, thor, think i’d have a shot at lady sif?” -you teasing the hell out of him

“shut up. you won’t make me jealous no matter what you say. my heart belongs to—” -thor

“the midgardian, i know”

you did sort of make him jealous tho ngl

aaanyways you pushed him to go see jane again, it had been too long to leave a midgardian waiting. their lives were short.

and you got to see her again! unfortunately you lost your mother that same day

and you were p i s s e d

murder? murder. (murder)

you may or may not have broke into the vault to get a weapon you could truly call your own

and then went against your better judgement and took loki to off-world with you

“y/n—” -loki

“shut up” -you

but you wish you had listened to what he had to say since you had the bear the loss of loki once again

now you had two family members to avenge

speaking of avenging, you steered clear of the avengers because......they were nuts

“y/n! you know, we could use another god like yourself on our team” -tony

“thor won’t help power your building, will he?” -you

“you got me” -tony

“so, you and thor are twins? who’s older?” -steve

“we actually don’t know!” -you

“oh...neat” -steve

“you know, thor was crying the first time he tried to lift that hammer of his” -clint

“i have no doubt about that” -you

“thor always talks about fighting in wars, but he never gives us any details. has he really fought wars?” -natasha

“oh, plenty of them! my brother and i have fought side by side in countless battles, you’ve even witnessed one! in new york!” -you

“how could i forget?” -nat

okay getting past all that, you focused on getting a headstart on some more *prophetic* instances that thor caught up to you on

and once you got back to asgard, you knew there was something wrong

“are you kidding me? loki? again?” -you

“hello, sibling. it’s nice to see you again” -loki

“why are you the way that you are?” -you

“that’s enough, y/n” -thor

✨going to midgard for odin who instead gave you a homicidal sister✨

hela was not nice at all. at ALL.

your heart broke when she shattered mjölnir

and loki made a bad call to open the bifrost for the whole odinspawn family

and next thing you knew, you were on sakaar

“thor? what the hell?” -you

“y/n! oh, it’s so good to see you! help me out here, please!” -thor

“i’m sorry, brother, but me and loki have been playing the loving brother/sibling act to keep it civil. this place...it’s unlike any place we’ve ever seen. we need to be smart. and we need to get back to asgard.” -you

“yes, we do. there is no doubt in my mind that hela is destroying asgard as we speak” -thor

“right, well...i don’t think loki will be joining us because, he and, uh, the grandmaster as they call him...they sort of formed a relationship” -you

trying to break thor out of prison and oh....hulk is here? that was unexpected

“y/n! y/n, that mean girl who kidnapped me? a valkyrie. a real life valkyrie!” -thor

“what?! father told us they had all died!” -you

“i think it would be safest to disregard everything father has ever told us” -thor

“i very much like that idea” -you

kicking absolute ass on your way out

you and valkyrie teamed up, so you had to say your goodbyes to loki early on, he made it clear he wanted to stay

“you will always be my brother, loki. i wish you well on your journey to find your place in this life. and i do love you, remember that” -you, giving him a hug

“...thank you, y/n. i...me, too” -loki

yet he came back for you in the end

after thor had lost his eye, he’d unlocked his true power........not to be a sore winner, but you’d unlocked yours first while he was on earth

but you two together? that should have been unstoppable

yet you weren’t

“what the hel? she should be dead!” -you

“we need to go” -valkyrie

“wait, i have one more idea” -thor

and that idea was the idea that ended asgard

but you’d create a new asgard

but then half of asgard was murdered by thanos! and you and thor were stranded in space! and loki actually died! and you were saved by space pirates! and were flirted with by half of their crew!

“thor, you need to see dmitri, you need a new weapon if we’re going to finish off thanos” -you

okay, well you and the “guardians of the galaxy” went after infinity stones instead, you knew that one day you’d have to

running into tony stark in space?????

“y/n? what are you doing here?” -tony

“i’m here to kill thanos, what are you doing here, stark? who are these two?” -you

“hi, i’m peter! that’s mister—doctor strange” -peter

everyone turned to dust after thanos escaped and you, tony, and nebula went to star-lord’s ship

and were saved by captain marvel

and reunited with thor

“y/n, by odin’s beard, i thought i had lost you” -thor

“it’s alright, i’m here now” -you

starting up new asgard and watching your brother fall into a depression that caused you to do most of the heavy lifting in this new kingdom

“are you still playing fortnite, brother? it’s five in the morning” -you

“can you pass...” *belch* “just pass me another beer” -thor

and after 5 years, you got to go back to asgard? but asgard from 10 years prior

“mother...” -you

“y/n, we have a mission” -rocket

“i know, i know...where’s thor?” -you

running into your mother while getting thor

“hello, mother. i...yes, hello” -you

“hello, my child. i hope that the future is treating you well” -frigga

“it isn’t, but thank you, mother. i love you” -you

and then you were back on earth and had to comfort thor, who was self-loathing again

but the work had been restored by a simple snap!

and you and thor were able to fight a real fight once more, summoning mjölnir again was invigorating

and there was some kind of bittersweet win here, one i’ve covered plenty of times

“it was fitting for such a great battle to be our final one for now” -thor

“you’re leaving?” -you

“i am, but i trust you’ll take care of our people like you always do. i will see you again, dear sibling. one day” -thor

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //

[kairoscelrosis]

ST: Into Darkness

So I watched into darkness after a really long time, and for the first time after watching ST: WOK. And I liveblogged it.

*spoilers* 

Jim's so disappointed that Enterprise got taken away from him. owo

Aahh Carol Marcus is British

Scotty has a moral compass (which I feel TOS Scotty does as well)

When Kirk learns that Spuhura are fighting, and then the lift opens and Spock's about to enter, he looks at both of them. It really gives me the vibes that he knows both his partners are angry at him 😂

Bones McCoy: a dictionary of metaphors

Yaayyy Sulu on the chairrrr

Whaaatttt???? Sulu references Mudd (Harry freaking Mudd) in the movieeee!!!!! (He says: Acting Captain Sulu to Shuttle Bay 2. Please have the trade ship we confiscated during the Mudd incident last month fueled and flight ready) !!!!!

"If you test me, you WILL fail."

The way Bones' expression changesss 😂

"Mr. Sulu, remind me to never piss you off."

"I am not the only one who is upset at you. The Captain is too." "No no no no don't drag me into this."

"She IS right" spirkkkkk

"Captain we will not fit" "We'll fit. WE'LL FITTT."

"I told you we'll fit." "I am not sure that qualifies." 🤣

Why do the Klingons look so different???

Why is Benedict's voice so deep? Like deeper than usual.

SPUHURA 🤢🤢🤢🤢

Tho i hate that a british dude played KHAN, you can't deny Benedict's Khan has charisma

Carol Marcus says "I am a friend of Christine Chapel's" like what??? JJ do you even know that Christine would never be engaged with Kirk in a romantic relationship??? That he's not her type??? 🤢

"Any idea what caused it?" "No sir. But I expect full responsibility." Aww my baby chekov 🥺

"Jim? You're gonna wanna see this." Ooohhhhhh

Okay... so wasn't this Khan a dictator as well? Or like, did the Eugenics war never happen in AOS? Did JJ do this so that Khan would be morally grey? Cuz he loves Benedict? IDK

"I'm sorry." Ohh Kirk my bby 🥺🥺

SCOTTYYYYYY HELL YEAHHH YOU ARE A MIRACLE WORKER *cries in jimmy doohan*

"Captain, I strongly object." "To what? I haven't said anything yet." Bitch you really think he doesn't sense your crazy ideas?

"'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.'" "An Arabic proverb attributed to a pronce who was betryed and decapitated by his own subjects." 🤣🤣

Grab at the shoulder and "I cannot allow you to do this." and an almost "Jim"

"The Enterprise and her crew need someone in that chair that knows what he's doing... and that's not me." You can hear my heart shattering into a million pieces in the background.

How Jim's about to cry during that dialogue 🥺🥺🥺

Is there like... a competition going on between Pine and Benedict Cumberbatch trying to decide who's eyes are bluer???? Because I can't see anybody winning

"Captain. You can't even guarantee the safety of your own crew." Ooohh I so wanna punch you in the face. 👊

Aaaahhhhh TRIBBLLEEEEEEE

New Vulcaaaannn!!!! Our Spock's coming baaaackkkkkk yaaayyy

Aahh Sulu you are so talented

"This door is very wee. I mean, you know, small" 🤣

"It's gonna be like jumping out of a moving car, off a bridge, into your shot glass." "It's okay. I've done it before" Khan: 👀

"It's not easy. Just give me two seconds, all right, you mad bastard!" 😂😂

Bones, sitting down to watch the most scary movie of his life: Tell me this is gonna work.

Spock, shivering with fear in his seat: I have neither the information nor the confidence to do so, Doctor. 😂😂😂😂

Bones: 👀 👀 Boy, you're a real comfort.

Omg Sulu's so nervous and worried 🥺

I actually kinda DO like the transitions.

"You're big." 😂

"Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about you bedside manner." Why is everyone so pbsessed with bedside manner in Star Trek😂😂

Scotty 😂😂😂 wheezing and panting, complaining he can't do it but he does 😂😂😂

Shitt the momentum!!! How would they have filmed that??? Rolling and rolling and rolling

LEONARDDD NIMOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Mr. Spock." "Mister Spock." Aaahhhhhhhhhh you both wanna kill meeeee 😂😂😂

He deserved that slap!!! GO CAROLL!!!!

"Where'd ya find this guy?" Ohh Scotty 😂

Spock!Prime really be like, "I can't tell you about it, but I am my own master, so I will. 😂

"Khan Noonien Singh is the most dangerous adversary the Ebeterprise ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless, and he will not hesitate to kill every single one of you." *cries in Ricardo Montalban*

"Did you defeat him?" "At great cost. Yes." Aaaaahhhhhhh how would you know the great costt spocckkkkk😭😭

The sudden appearance of the man scared the shit outta mee😂😂

"Where's Khan?" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JIM SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO SPOOCCKKKK

Yaayyyy "Damn it, man, I'm a doctor not a torpedo technician!" 😂😂

"This way." Whewww.

Aaahh he's awakeeeee.

Yesss that's my Jim Kirk. No killing. Yes.

Aahhhhhhhhh. Wtf why're you punching Jimmmmm

Aahh Carolll ahahhh

Omg wtfffffffff nooooooooo frickfrickfrickfrickfrickk that was baaaddd

"Oh, you are smart, Mr. Spock." I really do wanna punch you in the face.

I will repeat myself. Having said that a white dude playing Khan is irritating, Benedict really does play him well.

Aahhh the ploy is same like the one in ST: WOK!! This time, it is Spock playing the game!!!

"Vulcans do not lie." Spock lies.

"No ship shoild go down without her captain." *silent screaming*

OMG he's firinggggg

"He armed the damn torpedoes." Is that pride I hear, Kirk

"Not bad, Commander." "Thank you, Lieutenant." XDDDD

Smarty pants Spock XD

WTF is Uhura doing in the Med Bay???

"Good to see you, Jim."

"Spock's cold, but he's not that cold. I've got Khan's crew." Awww :))))

"Seventy two human popsicles, safe and sound in their cryo tubes" POPSICLES😂😂😂😂

"Son of a bitch!"

"I hope you don't get seasick." 😂

"I will remain behind and divert all power to life supprt and evacuation shuttle bays." 🥺🥺

Sulu: Shut up, BITCH.

"I order you to abandon this ship!" The voice his voice cracks 😭 Who says Spock doesn't feel????

"All due respect, Commander, but we're not going anywhere." YEAAHHHH SULUUUUU GOOOO

"One day I've been off this ship! One bloody day!" Same, Scotty, same.

Hah. Running on walls😂

CHEKOV MY HEROOOOOO

Smart baby Chekov exclaiming in Russian.

"The ship's dead sir. She's gone." 😭😭😭

"You're not making the climb" JIM NOOOOO OH GOD YOU SELF SACRIFICING IDIOT.

Jim coming back to belt Scotty into place 🥺

How's he gonna do that????

Aaahh that oit of the clouds shot justttt 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Sulu's so HAPPYYY uwu

"It's a miracle." "There are no such things." Wait till you get to know Spock.

"Sir, you'd better get down here. Better hurry." *traumatic WOK flashbacks*

"How's OUR ship?" "Out of danger."

"That's a nice move." Is Jim referring to Chess????? You really have the nerve to do that???

"It is what you would have done." "And this, this is what you would have done." *TOS 😭😭😭😭*

"It was only logical."

"I'm scared, Spock. Help me not be."😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I do not know. Right now I am failing." 😭😭😭

"Because you are my friend."😭😭😭

That Vulcan kisssssss 😭😭😭😭😭

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JIMMMM

KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Why tf is everyone wearing those weird goggles???

I don't like Zoe Saldana as Uhura AT ALL.

The way Zach's bangs are flying😂

BONEESSSSSS 😭😭😭

Yeaah yeah yeah yeah yeah that tribbleeee

How tf did spock jump that high???

Why doesn't he like nerve pinch him???

Why can't they use the blood of the man in the cryo???? They have the same blood right???

"You get that son of a bitch back on board right now!"

Ohnonononono he's tryna crush Spock's skull.

Shit Spock why so angry NOOOOOO

Yeah Spock stops when he hears the name 'Kirk'.

"You were barely dead." 😂

"Tell me, are you feeling homicidal? Pwer mad? Despotic?"

"Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know." Ohh bones😆😆

Spock called Kirk JIMMMMMMMMMMM

But, like, why didn't they kill Khan off??? He can be awakened again, can't he??? Like????

I love their formal uniforms!!!

Yaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy my introooooo 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"C'mon Bones, it's gonna be fun."

"Five years in space. God help me." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The fond look Spock has on his faceeeee

And on Jim's face toooooo

"I defer to your good judgement, Captain." 🥺🥺🥺

[cdt12345]

I just finished answering one of these and now I wanna know yours. Top 10 straight OTPs?

1.) Ben and Leslie - Parks and Recreation

If this was my OTPs list, they’d be second after Gallavich, but since this is straight couples, they have to be my number one. Amy Poehler and Adam Scott had great chemistry. Adam Scott played a lot of creepy/bad guys before this. So, when he showed up in Pawnee, I didn’t know what to make of him when he came in at the end of season 2. Pretty quickly I realized I was not only going to love the character of Ben Wyatt but we finally found Leslie Knope’s perfect match! I’ll never forget the moment I knew I was going to ship them. It was at the Freddy Spaghetti concert when Ben helped Leslie after he was against doing the concert in the first place. As soon as I saw Ben give Leslie that look as she walked away, I knew I was all in with this ship. That’s all it took! Leslie finally met someone who got her, admired her, was in awe of her, and was so supportive of her and her ambitions. They were both willing to put their jobs at risk by making their relationship known. And if you know Leslie Knope, her job is her life. Leslie’s love for Ben’s butt is also something I loved. Their love for each other is so beautiful and one of my favorite things about this amazing show.

2.) Ava and Boyd - Justified

Joelle Carter and Walton Goggins did amazing work together onscreen. Ava and Boyd Crowder did not have the most conventional start to their romantic relationship, seeing as Ava was married to Boyd’s brother. For me, that is a deal-breaker! I know they’re not blood relatives but it’s still weird to me when in-laws get together. In the pilot, we learn Ava has just killed her husband in self-defense and Boyd was supposed to be killed off in that episode. The powers that be, loved both Joelle and Walton so much they brought them back for more and they were series regulars for the rest of the series run. To keep Ava part of the storyline, they had Boyd staying at Ava’s house in season 2. It all evolved from there. I had no intention of shipping these two during season 1, but by season 2, I was all about Ava and Boyd getting together. They were the true definition of a power couple. They even had matching bullet scares on their chest! They stood side by side as a strong force against anyone who tried to overpower them or intimidate them in their growing criminal enterprise. Boyd really saw Ava, treated her with respect, and saw her as his equal. They had a long history, even went to the same high school together. I always love a couple who has known each other since they were kids. I never thought I would root for current or former in-laws, but it was hard not to fall in love with them.

3.) Jess and Nick - New Girl

I knew I was going to ship them from the very first episode. They are everything I love in a good ship, complete opposites who bring out the best in each other, who are also friends. Over the years, any time Jess would describe her perfect man, she was always describing Nick without realizing it. Once she was asked what her dream guy would be, and she said Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men and Nick fits that perfectly. He really is like a grumpy old man. There was nothing these two wouldn’t do for each other. One example of this was when Jess burns her finger on a cigarette lighter in the car and Nick puts his finger in the cigarette lighter so they would be in the same amount of pain. Who even does that?! I was so happy when they finally had their first kiss and when they officially got together. Those are some of my favorite episodes when they were finally dating. Any time they dated anyone else it became even more clear how much better they are together. They never fit with anyone else as well as they fit together. They really were perfect for each other.

4.) Corey and Topanga - Boy Meets World

Corey and Topanga are the OG’s of childhood sweethearts on TV. They’ve known each other their whole lives and were very believable in their genuine love for each other. It’s not always easy to believe that people who get married that young can make it work, but these two always seemed to defy those odds. They got married during their sophomore year of college. Today I would be like whoa that’s too soon to get married! But they felt so right together, I believe I would still think they made the right choice. I may be biased because I grew up watching this show and I was even younger than them at that time, but it always felt like they were meant to be. I still remember what a big deal their wedding was. My friends and I were so excited about that episode. They clearly did do the right thing because the show came back as Girl Meets World, which was more focused on their daughter than them, so of course, I wasn’t planning on watching all that. The only good thing to come out of that reboot, for me, was to get confirmation that Corey and Topanga were still together and had two kids. 

5.) Arnold and Helga - Hey Arnold!

This was a very one-sided crush on Helga’s part for years! This was another show I grew up on. I shipped them so hard because Helga was obsessively in love with Arnold. It definitely wasn’t a healthy obsession, but she really loved him. It was hard not to root for her. She fell in love with him when he was the first to notice her and be nice to her on their first day of preschool. A part of me could identify with her at that time in my life. I was in 5th grade and was experiencing my first love too. She was always so mean to Arnold because she was terrified for anyone to even suspect she had a major crush on him. The best way to describe Arnold is through Helga’s own words, he’s “a funny little football-headed kid with a good heart but no sense of reality”. Helga was realistic and tough but very poetic and sweet in private. In 2017, when Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie came out, I was really hoping she would finally come clean with Arnold about her feelings. It FINALLY happened! That was 21 years in the making. Talk about slow burn!

6.) Tiffani and Jake - California Dreams

Jake and Tiffani are one of my very first ships ever. They were high school students who were in a band called California Dreams together. They were like night and day. She was the surfer type, who was positive, sunny, and friendly. Whereas Jake was a biker type who scared everyone. They were even too scared to let him audition for the band. He played guitar and would sometimes sing and write some of their songs. He wasn’t the main singer of the band, but he would sing every once in a while. She played the bass and would sometimes sing too. They did have a breakup that was heartbreaking for me. He dated their friend Lorena for a short time, and it felt so forced and didn’t work at all. Again, I could be biased because I love Jake and Tiffani, but Jake himself and Lorena realized they didn’t work either. That’s when Jake realized he was still very much in love with Tiffani, and they got back together. This show also had the best theme song ever! I sing it every single time I hear it and when I do hear it, it’s stuck in my head all day.

7.) Monica and Chandler - Friends

I always preferred Monica and Chandler over Ross and Rachel. They were never on and off like Ross and Rachel, which would get tiresome. We never had to deal with that with Monica and Chandler. Obviously, they are friends and know each other so well that it was easy for them to get through anything because of it.

8.) Castle and Beckett - Castle

Richard Castle and Kate Beckett had amazing chemistry, even after the actors themselves were no longer getting along behind the scenes. I am amazed at how they were still able to be so believable at being very much in love with each other. Castle, a best-selling mystery novelist, and Beckett, a New York City homicide detective. Castle is inspired by Beckett and she becomes his muse for a new book he is writing. Castle uses his connections with the mayor to force the police to let him shadow Beckett. Their personalities clash in the beginning but they soon find their groove and become friends and great partners at solving crimes. The will they, won’t they was excruciating at times but paid off when they finally got together.

9.) Sabrina and Harvey - Sabrina The Teenage Witch

Sabrina and Harvey were such a cute couple. I already went into this show knowing they were meant to be because of the Sabrina comic books. Harvey was always the boyfriend. So, when Harvey left the show after season 4, I was surprised and saddened. Especially, since Harvey had finally learned about her powers. He did guest star in season 5 but was brought back for the last two seasons. I really loved when he came back because Sabrina and Harvey’s relationship was so much better after he knew about her powers. They didn’t get back together and were only friends but whenever things got complicated, he was there to help her now that he knew she was a witch. She didn’t have to hide who she really was or lie to him anymore and I really loved how that changed their relationship. Sabrina was dating someone else at this time and was going to marry this other guy, but she doesn’t go through with it. For once I can actually say Sabrina and Harvey are soulmates and really mean it! Remember she is a witch and has a soul stone and Harvey was given one too. Harvey is waiting for Sabrina outside the church when she comes out and they kiss. Their soul stones drop to the ground and fit perfectly at 12:36pm, the exact time they first met seven years ago.Then they drive off together in his motorcycle.

10.) Kelly and Zack - Saved by The Bell

Who didn’t grow up in the 90′s and wasn’t shipping Zack and Kelly? I thought they were the most gorgeous couple I had ever seen. Saved by The Bell: The College Years wasn’t a great show, but I was happy to see Zack and Kelly went to the same college, and eventually, we got to see them get married in a TV movie with Saved by The Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas.

[ruzek-halstead]

found

part one

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

while chasing a lead on their homicide investigation, jay & hailey find an abandoned baby on christmas eve. as to not have the baby spend it's first christmas at family services, it's up to jay & hailey, with a little help from will & the rest of the team to take care of it.

“jay, you’d make a really hot dad.”

(inspired by ncis episode)

part two || part three || masterlist

warnings: swearing, fluffery

it’s december 24th and their day starts off normal, just like any other day.

it was cold and snowing and hailey had never hated chicago more than she did in that moment (but it’s her home; she wouldn’t ever give it up). she beat jay into the office (she’s usually the first one, being an early bird and all), but he showed up with coffee and a smug smile. their downtime doesn’t last long, as voight assigns them to chase down a lead on their double homicide. this particular case had been dragging on with few breakthroughs and they were getting ready to ship it off to homicide, but voight wanted to take one last crack at it.

hailey leaned against the far wall while jay knocked on the apartment door. “william bradford, open up; chicago pd.”

they hear nothing but silence and jay rolled his eyes, repeating his earlier words.

“another dead end,” hailey mumbled, grabbing her phone to update voight.

jay nearly followed her lead and turned around but a noise from inside the apartment stopped him. “wait, did you hear that?” he turned to look at hailey and placed his ear against the door.

“no?” hailey looked confused.

“i heard something. it sounded like…” he knew it sounded farfetched, but he swore he heard a cry. with his ear up against the door, he’s able to hear more cries; he swallowed harshly at the familiarity of a baby’s cries.

from her new position closer to her partner, hailey clearly heard the baby’s cries. “jay, does that sound like a baby to you?”

jay doesn’t bother answering her; he moved back and sturdily kicked the door down. that’s usually one of his favourite parts of the job, but he can hardly focus on that as the baby’s cries multiply. hailey pushed past him and headed in the direction of the screams; it lead them to a dark bedroom in the back of the apartment. upon entering, they find a beautiful baby boy, who looked no more than a year old, lying in her crib with a red face from screaming.

jay is momentarily frozen because this young, defenseless child is here all alone, but hailey moved into action. she scooped the baby into her arms and cradled him against her chest, whispering soothing nothings against the baby’s head. it took a moment but the baby’s cries subside into whimpers.

hailey turned to look at jay with wide, watery eyes. “jay,” she started to speak, but her voice broke. she wanted to say more but she can’t; there’s something about cases involving children that affects them all deeply, on another level. they are innocent and defenseless, and hailey is still stunned someone would leave a baby all alone like this.

jay doesn’t need hailey to explain; he understood. he dropped an arm around her shoulder and held her for a moment as she held the baby who is now staring up at her with a transfixed expression.

“come on,” he murmured, pulling her elbow gently. “let’s stop at the hospital and will can make sure he’s okay.”

🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣

voight decided to meet them at the hospital. after hearing what his detectives found in the apartment, he couldn’t not go out and make sure the little guy was alright.

“talk to me,” he directed his words at jay, who is casually leaning against the wall. hailey is peaking through the doors, watching carefully as will examines their newfound baby.

jay snapped out of his thoughts quickly. “we knocked twice; nothing. i heard crying so we made entry. found the baby in his crib, unharmed and no sign of any guardian around.”

“any id on the mother?”

jay frowned. “not yet. i have ruzek looking into it.”

voight nodded. “alright, we’re kicking this case off to homicide; too many dead ends. merry christmas, halstead,” he smirked.

“sarge—” jay is on high alert, prepared to protest.

of course voight was expecting it; he knew exactly who his detectives were. “i want you to stay with this baby until we figure out who he belongs too.” jay’s eyes widen; he loved kids, but babies are incredibly fragile and a massive responsibility. “upton; you too.”

hailey snapped her eyes to voight as if she hadn’t been eavesdropping their entire conversation. “want us to call dcfs?”

voight paused, looking through the glass doors at will, who is finishing up with his examination and smiling at the little guy. “tomorrow is christmas eve,” he replied gruffly, “i’m not letting that baby spend it’s first christmas at family services.”

he turns to leave, but jay and hailey are still confused. “wait, then where are we taking it?”

voight smirked. “you two found him; he’s your responsibility now until you find the mother.”

“what?” jay stammered, his eyes widening at voight’s demand.

“you better hope ruzek pulls through and finds that mother,” voight remarked in response, already halfway out the door.

before either have a chance to properly process what voight said, will knocked on the glass sliding door and motioned them inside. “find a name for this little guy yet?” will queried, as he picked up the baby from the checkup table.

“we have literally no information,” hailey replied sadly, “don’t even know who the mother is yet.”

will frowned as he bounced the baby on his hip. “well, on the bright side, the baby is perfectly healthy. a little malnourished, but nothing some formula can’t fix. do we need to call family services?”

“uh,” jay scratched the back of his head, “voight told us not to actually.”

“since we found him, he’s our responsibility until we find the mother,” hailey added, watching will’s amused face. “he doesn’t want the baby’s first christmas to be at family services.”

will can’t help but laugh out loud; the baby in his arms giggled in response. “i’m sorry, but voight put you in charge of this baby?” he directed his sassy remark at jay, who looked offended. “is he aware that is the worst idea he’s ever had?”

“i’ve dealt with babies before, will,” jay rolled his eyes, but he really is nervous to handle a baby on his own.

will nodded, snickering as he passed the baby onto hailey. “oh yeah, sure, my bad. because we’ve had so many children in the family.”

“shut up,” jay groaned. “plus, i have hailey. she has nephews.”

hailey nodded. the baby is calm, sleepy and slowly dozing off. “yeah, i do. i’ve babysat them many times.”

“have you ever babysat them overnight?” will inclined with a raised eyebrow.

hailey’s lips formed an o. “no…” she noted warily. “how bad can it be?”

will is so amused, he can’t stop himself from bursting out laughing. “oh, you two; so unbelievably naive.”

“stop being an ass and promise me you’re coming over later,” jay snapped, but his green eyes are pleading. if anyone can take care of a baby healthily, it’s his attending physician older brother (even if he will tease jay about this for the remainder of their days).

will laughed and knocked jay on the shoulder. “yeah, i’ll be there. but until then, good luck you two!” he sent them a cheery smile before exiting the room (a little too happily, if you ask jay).

the baby in hailey’s arms was fully asleep now; she raised an eyebrow at jay. “your place?” he just stared at her in response.

“well, your house has stairs,” he deadpanned. “stairs are bad for the baby.”

hailey bit her lip in amusement. “stairs are bad for the baby that can’t walk?”

“you never know,” he rolled his eyes. “and in case it wasn’t clear enough, you’re spending the night at my place.”

“how can i say no to such an inviting offer?” she replied sarcastically, but jay was so done with will and hailey’s teasing. “oh relax,” she answered (she can read him so well). “we have to pick a name.”

jay’s eyebrows furrowed together. “what are you talking about? his name is jay.”

hailey rolled her eyes, and if her hands weren’t full, she would have smacked him. “that’s cute, but no.”

“i actually had a better idea,” jay noted, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “i was thinking alvin? i don’t know; it might be too much, but it was just a thought.”

hailey’s heart felt like it swelled three times its size. “jay,” she breathed softly, “it’s perfect.”

he smiled warmly. “okay, great.”

“do you think will has an extra car seat or supplies? we have to stop by the district first,” she expertly doesn’t mention how kim and vanessa keep blowing up their group chat with requests to see the baby. “also, even though voight says this is our responsibility, i’m not sure if that means we don’t have to finish our work day.”

jay shot her a questioning expression. “i’m sure he’s still expecting us,” he grieved in response to the second part of her statement. “and i’m pretty sure they have some supplies in storage, unfortunately.”

he knew enough from what will had said in the past that parents who lost their newborn babies in the hospital sometimes don’t want to take their things home because the pain is too much. so they leave them at the hospital and it gets recycled to other moms who aren’t as fortunate to buy such products.

“you good?” he prodded, his eyes flickering down to alvin sleeping peacefully. “i can go find will and meet you at the truck?”

hailey nodded. “yeah, that sounds good.”

she watched as jay walked away in search of his redheaded brother.

“and so our adventure begins.”

[marithlizard]

First Impressions: RWBY v8c10, “Ultimatum”

How many ultimatums will be delivered and will anyone listen?

(Flashing-lights warning.   I hope this is the "there's no practical way to negate all possible risk so we're being cautious"  kind of warning, and not the "fuck you epileptics bring on the cool strobe effects"  kind. )

Ironwood, entirely alone.  I am reminded that Watts thought Plan Evil could seriously fail if he called on Vacuo for aid.  Could Vacuo seriously have gotten enough forces here in time to help?   Or was it sharing information and alliances, in itself, that would've been an effective defense?  We'll never know because that just isn't how Atlas rolls.

Those soldiers are terrified in that particular “our boss has been casually shooting underlings who disappoint him” way.

Why do you *care* about imprisoning Qrow and Robyn? They're no threat to you, you have a giant Grimm army destroying your kingdom, let them go fight it!  And his focus is on Qrow in particular.   ....Ah.  He must believe Qrow did kill Clover.

"Fuck you epileptics"  it is.  Why do studios do this?  I don't need fancy special effects if they're going to hurt other people, thanks.  

What WAS that???   Slowed down, it looks like....lightning struck the whale and it exploded? what?

The bomb hasn't gone off, there's Winter and the Ace Ops carrying it. oh no.

what?

green in there. Penny?

Are they dead?

It's...like a nuke. A nuke just detonated.

No. Not Penny.  That was Oz green magic.

Everyone can't be dead, we'd have no show.

Something glowing in the ruins.  Someone moving in the smoke, carrying the Lamp.  Neo?

She's *skipping merrily* with her umbrella and the lamp.  What the fuck.  What happened between her and Jinn?

So Winter and the Ace Ops are fine,  the whale is dead, we don't know about anyone inside. Okay. Oookay.

Watts sounds stunned, but only for a second until he pulls his armor together. "She'll come back."

*watching villain infighting with popcorn*

You know, I despise Watts, but it's impossible not to admire that ability to fast talk with melodramatic emoting while seconds from death.  "Presentation!", as Megamind would say.

...on the other hand,  there's a point where melodramatic fast talk stops convincing your subject and just pisses them off. And you have now passed it.  

"You can't just be deserving, you have to be worthy".  He really is a social Darwinist. And what is it he called her? A bloody what?

Oh, wow,  I 100% thought she was going to kill him.

Is she....crying????  Even Watts looks stunned.  And somewhat disbelieving to be alive.

JOYR are okay.  Oscar looks agonized, holding his head,  but quickly gets a grip on himself.  Merge? No merge?

...That's odd.  No one thought to stop and look for the Lamp in the ruins of the whale?  We know it's gone, but they don't know that.  Shouldn't recovering it be really damn important?

YAY FINALLY DISCUSSION and championing from Oscar. I figured Ren would be the one to notice.  And oof, Oz was taking the brunt of the torture after all, without taking control?  Regardless, I'm very relieved that he's still around.

The cane stored kinetic energy? From all the lifetimes he spent carrying it, moving around with it?  That's kind of neat.  Doesn't particularly make sense, but it doesn't have to, it's magic.  

Emerald could've run away while they were stopped to talk about Oz. No one was looking at her. But she didn't move or even lower her hands.  Listening and thinking. Despite what she says, she wants to join the heroes.

Citizens packed into subway tunnels but not allowed to occupy most of the space, lined up in bleachers on the sides under guard.  That doesn't look remotely practical or  sustainable, but it sure looks very military.  (Seriously.  At least a quarter of those people really need to go to the bathroom right now.  Babies need diaper changes.  Children should be having screaming meltdowns.   The writers handwave a lot more than they should sometimes.  )

The whale is gone, but what about all the other Grimm?  Shouldn't they be attacking the tunnels? This is far more of a negative-emotions draw than Mantle, pre-or-post election.

Ironwood why do you have to be SO DUMB.  You ought to know damn well who blew up that whale (perhaps that's why you dropped the subject so abruptly).  And you certainly ought to know Watts "betrayed" you, because you never should've let him near technology to begin with.  Or thought that beating him up would get him to help you.

Still on with the raise-Atlas idea, I see.  It's the only one you have.

What is you thought needed to be done with Qrow,  Ironwood?  He holds no power beyond skill as a Huntsman, no leverage to help you reach your goals.   Is there a plan here, or just nonsensical personal vengeance?   You didn't even care about Clover enough to justify that level of investment in revenge, he was just an operative.  

Ohhh, he does think Qrow has leverage over Penny.  I suppose it's true too, through Ruby.  But it's still a dumb plan.  And Winter isn't on board with it in the slightest. She needs to get the hell out of there.

Harriet, you backstabber.  That isn't even remotely accurate. Is that going to pay off for you, Bree, sending your homicidally unhinged CO into an even greater rage?  Now you'll get to be the leader of the Ace Ops, so I guess so.

...ships?  Allies?  Cavalry, now?  Oh, the evacuation dropships!  Ugh, he's going to order them shot down isn't he. He’s just spotted his point of leverage.  Someone get this man a white cat to pet while he sits at his desk.

NEO I LOVE YOU

Oho!  Did she not ask a question, after all the fan debate over whether or not she can?   She certainly could have - no one will know until Jinn is summoned again.    And the Lamp is still a powerful bargaining chip either way.

Aww Oscar was offering to hug Ruby there for a moment.  See, Nora, that's what someone who actually wants hugs looks like.

Ah, fuck, Ironwood's going to straight up threaten to massacre everyone in Mantle.  Winter, Marrow, your time to defect is NOW.

"If there is no Mantle then there is no reason for you  not to work with me" uh yeah, buddy, no one but you thinks it works like that.

Only one ultimatum, but it was certainly a doozy.  (EDIT:  Well, maybe two. Does Neo’s count? She didn’t make any threats.) 

Well! I did like the episode, though I continue to be greatly annoyed at the lack of any lines or screen time for my favorite characters. I’d never have expected Salem and the whale to be wiped out mid-season just like that.  A lot of people are going to call it bad writing, but I think it’s very much in line with how these writers like to subvert traditional story structure.  It would be awful writing if Salem were destroyed this way, but they took pains last episode to show us that isn’t the case. 

(How long will it take Salem to revive?  Hazel said a few hours at most, when he killed her.  Ozma’s magic blew her into atoms and that will probably take significantly longer. But I’m sure she’ll be Voldemorting her way back by the end of this volume.) 

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 16 For Candia (Part 1)

The Second Most Stressful Conversation All Season

The Rocks family sails up to Cola River, concealed in Primsy’s ships with a small contingent of soldiers. As they go, they pick up another set of allies--the remaining knights from Theo’s order.

Ruby gets called to speak with her mom and dad and Cara asks her to close the door behind her. When she speaks, it’s with more candor than she’s ever used with Ruby that we’ve seen. She says that all she’s ever wanted for Ruby was her safety and she tried to secure that by protecting her from secrets but now she is truly a woman grown and the best way to protect her is by sharing secrets, an approach Ruby seems to appreciate. 

Cara fills her in on what she and Amethar learned last episode--Ghee died before she married Amethar. That means she’s still queen, he’s still king, and though Rina is still Amethar’s first born heir, Ruby is also trueborn. 

Ruby asks if they’re going to tell people and Amethar says he wants to wait. Things are heightened right now and it would make things weird in battle. Ruby says that if that’s what he wants, she won’t tell anyone. Ruby also says she doesn’t trust Rina’s people, something Amethar cites as another reason he doesn’t want to tell people yet.

Cara asks Ruby’s opinion on Rina and she says that she thinks she’s dangerous. Cara agrees and Amethar thinks she’s being a little harsh in her assessment but Ruby goes on. She thinks that Rina has tunnel vision in her hatred of the church and there are good people who follow the Bulb (again, Cara is a devout Bulbian). Cara chimes in that Port Syrup is in ruins because of her people. Amethar wants to delay all this talk but Cara drops an absolute banger of a line, “Amethar. The delay of conversation has been perhaps your most cardinal sin.” 

Ruby thinks that maybe Rina can be good but her people are full stop, bad. She didn’t order Port Syrup sacked (good) but it was by her people in her name (bad) and she doesn’t seem super bothered by the collateral damage (also bad). However, she does think that maybe if she wasn’t surrounded by these people, she'd make different choices. 

Cara says that with Rina on the throne, Candia’s future is written in flame. She says that Theo was pretty quick to join up with Rina and asks Amethar what he thinks he’ll do with the new info about his kingship. Amethar thinks he’ll be loyal so she thinks maybe they can tell him but Ruby points out that he’s not good with secrets. Cara says that’s a wise observation. She also says, in not so many words, that this is going to be a dangerous battle and during dangerous battles, sometimes people--like your husband’s pesky half daughter who is bumping your own daughter in the line of succession and has a merry band of war criminals--die.

“Hey, you’re talking about my daughter,” says Amethar.

“I am talking about the future of Candia,” says Cara. 

She tells Ruby that if she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to talk to Theo, that’s fine, but she should listen to her heart. She has the sight for the future to come and “If fortune cannot be on our side, we will have to do what fortune cannot.”

The Most Stressful Conversation All Season

The ship continues to sail upriver. Brennan makes a little roll that he doesn’t announce but seems entirely too pleased about. 

There’s a lot of debate about arriving and attacking and they decide to get to Dulcington late so they have cover but can attack when it starts to get light and have some visability for archers and such. 

It’s the middle of the night as they approach their destination and Rina hears a knock at her door. It’s Swifty and, wouldn’t you know it, he just eavesdropped on a *reaaaaaal* interesting conversation by the royal family (we get a quick cut to Brennan’s mystery-roll). But before he can spill the tea, she stops to tell him (and Gooey who is also there doing the bodyguard thing) that she was *not* about the carnage of Port Syrup. They NEED to be better than that. These people may never accept her but she doesn’t want them to *hate* her. Swifty is like, “lol, about that.” She tells her what he heard--or at least *some* of what he heard. He tell her about the death/wedding timeline and about the fact that they’ve been sitting on the news for a day (leaving out the bits where Amethar defended her and Ruby thought she might be good) and implies that they’re waiting for her to die in battle (something Cara implied in fairness) or kill her themselves (a little more of a leap--but not by much). Rina, not quite seething but something akin to it, says that if they had just told her this information, she would have worked with them seeing as the crown was only ever a means to an end for her but they had to be dishonest with her. Swifty says he’s excited to waste all their enemies during the upcoming battle and, once it’s over, if she wants them to turn their slaughter efforts a little closer to home, she just has to say the word. In response, she says she wants to speak to Theo so she can seek his counsel. She also reiterates that the Port Syrup debacle was a full war crime and shouldn’t have happened regardless of her relationship with the Rocks family (Swifty and Gooey exchange a glance she doesn’t fully parse) and then Gooey gets Theo.

After some weird flirting with Gooey (he makes an appointment to get “slammed big style” [sic] by her), Theo shows up to talk to Rina. She says that she’s been helping the Rocks family a ton in battle but she’s only been rebuffed. Is it worth it? Should she keep helping them? Theo says that he’s known the family for a long time and they’re good people who wouldn’t hurt her. Rina says that Theo is an honorable man and she trusts that even if he doesn’t side with her, he’ll do the honorable thing. Then she tells her what she knows, info that he is, of course, hearing for the first time. On an 18 Insight check, he knows he’s not being lied to and he knows he has a choice to make. He remembers Lazuli, all those years on their first meeting, telling him to think for himself and he amends his earlier statement. He might have spoken too soon about Amethar. He’s reckless, he wishes he could have worked for any of his sisters rather than him, and he clearly doesn’t have love for all of his family based on the way he’s treating her. He’s officially Team Rina (like he kinda was before but even moreso). She makes it official by casting the Dedication version of Ceremony on him and he feels more connected to her than ever before (also +1d4 to all Saving Throws for 24 hours). 

War is Hell (to Recap) 

The group gets into position with a bunch of stealth checks to get ready for their dawn attack. Despite pledging himself to Rina, Theo doesn’t want to work against Amethar and he wants to tell Cumulus. Rina agrees since she doesn’t fully trust her people and she thinks it’s good to bring another trustworthy person in on this.

Right before fighting breaks out, Theo gives the CliffsNotes version to Cumulus (ie: there is some weirdness in the line of succession and the family is plotting without us) and also messages Liam that Rina is potentially in danger, getting back the message that he’ll for sure help protect her. Ruby rolls Insight to see if she can tell Theo’s being weird but with a Nat 20 deception check from him, she’s sure that Theo is loyal to them above all else and would never betray them.  

OK guys, here’s the deal. Almost everything else in this episode is truly just chess. Moving units across the board. Taking out troops strategically. Placing minis. Stuff like that. Not at all interesting to recap or read. So all you really need to know is, “The Rocks family and their numerous allies (cheese sailors manning catapults, monks, Candian fighters) get into position and the fight begins at dawn, with them doing pretty well once it starts.” Pretty much everyone gets to do at least one clutch thing and you can check out the episode if you want more detail than that.

The only really important thing to know is that Kerradin is there, Grissini is there, and Plumbeline is there. In fact, not only is she there, she comes down from the castle walls so she can ride in on her meep chariot and knock Theo prone.  

Unfortunately for her, she hasn’t gotten the news about Peppermint Batman. Three attacks+flanking+sneak attack+favored enemy damage+bursting arrow+hail of arrows=58 damage to Plumbeline immediately.

As she stands over Theo, two crossbow bolts explode through her eyes and she drops down dead.

And that’s it for this episode! Join us next week for the actual finale of a Crown of Candy!

1 Million Years Dungeon

SWIFTY!

Man, Swifty really is the personification of Brennan’s craving for some sweet, sweet PvP action huh?

You homicidal little chaos gremlin, it is BAFFLING that you have the queen’s ear and I hate it.

Things I’m Concerned About

Emily had Rina use the word “fools” and I know that she grew up on the same Disney movies that we did where fools is an antagonist exclusive word. Hate the implications of that!

Do you remember what I said about Cara in her literal first appearance? I generally like her but I’m getting some light Lady Macbeth vibes. Well here we are. It was so weird to see her and Ruby getting along but I really loved the scene. So tense and so careful with every word. (Also, I *knew* that info was going to get to Rina as the conversation was happening and I was bracing for it but it was still like, damn).

We still haven’t gotten to, “Family is exposed, family is vulnerable.”

That look Gooey and Swifty shared? Don’t love that. 

So, as I’ve been concerned about for a while now, we’re gearing up for some PvP. It still doesn’t have to happen but things are getting dicey and lines are being drawn. Theo has made his allegiances known and Cumulus from way back when said he stands with the magic of Candia, not the Rocks family--plus he just pledged his whole order to her. Ruby and Amethar obviously are on the same side if this happens (though you know no one wants to avoid PvP more than him) and I think Liam would be more inclined to stay with the family if it comes to it, though he also doesn’t seem like he’d be down for this.

Continuing on from my last point, if there’s a big PvP fight potentially on the horizon and the other side has a DRAGON and also ALL THE HEALS...mmm, I wouldn’t love that. Oh also, I didn’t mention it in the recap but Rina said she wasn’t gonna waste her spells on Ruby/Amethar anymore which is a SCARY THING for your HEALER to say before the FINAL BATTLE.  

Edit: I forgot to mention (s/o to @fjordgofurther for the sideways reminder)! Because of the way it’s been framed (“we will have to do what fortune cannot”) and because of the poetry of it and, practically speaking, because they’re the two main casters, if it gets to PvP I can see it ending up being Rina and Ruby, head to head and...do not care for that image one bit lemme tell you. 

Five More Things

I am VERY happy that Rina told off her crew about their casual war crimes because it would have dropped by opinion of her HUGELY if she was just chill about it. 

I don’t want to downplay the amount of work that went into the battle stuff in this ep. There were a lot of cool large scale battle mechanics and home rules for fighting with troops and letting them use your abilities and stuff. But it’s very hard for me to recount that without sounding like a history textbook chapter on the Civil War or something and I’m not Ken Burns. 

Place your bets. Blessed Ally Nat 20 on the wish-egg-seed or on icing Kerradin?

Very wild that they destroyed the afterlife RIGHT before this fight. Like, before they knew that if they died, they could at least still talk to their loved ones to some degree. But now that’s gone. Perma-death is suddenly extra-perma. I wonder if that was a conscious choice on Brennan’s part.

Did I ever get to say, “newly *mint*-ed” with regard to Liam’s Peppermint Batman status? I don’t remember and it would be a shame if I hadn’t. 

I have more thoughts but this episode ends so clearly midway through the action that I feel it’s best to leave them for the actual finale. 

One More Thing!

As I’ve mentioned on here before, I’m working on an audiodrama podcast which should be dropping later this year! Absolutely No Adventures, a podcast about avoiding dangerous quests, making weird friends, and baking. It’s also a podcast about baking.  

The Twitter handle is @noadventurespod and we just got our art!

I’m very excited to start releasing stuff for it and I hope some of y’all check it out!

[writing-radionoises]

forgive?

ship: none, platonic father-son bonding with akutagawa and dazai

genre: hurt/comfort

prompt: akutagawa and dazai cope together

notes: more ada akutagawa.

mega tw for csa, child abuse, and suicide. they’re not spoken about in depth but this drabble is centered around dazai talking about his relationship with mori.

It’s been a few months since Akutagawa joined the agency.

Something that has never been quite discussed was this relationship with Osamu Dazai, it’s something Akutagawa never felt like he had to explain.

His and Dazai’s relationship was personal.

… But, mostly, that’s just a cover up reason.

His and Dazai’s relationship is difficult, complicated beyond belief.

It’s only gotten worse since Akutagawa did join the agency.

It’s like some underground reason between him, Dazai, and Fukuzawa, the secret that it was Dazai who hurt Akutagawa, who threw him on the ground, broke his ribs, broke his arm, pointed a gun at him, tried to kill him at least twenty different times and, and, and-

A lot of different things. Dazai did a lot of different things to Akutagawa.

Even after his apprenticeship with Dazai ended and Dazai left the mafia, he still used Akutagawa. He hung his approval over Akutagawa’s head for years, like dangling a carrot over a horse’s head so it’ll walk. And no matter what Akutagawa did, Dazai would never approve of him. He’d just laugh and walk away, call Akutagawa names, make fun of him.

And Akutagawa would never forgive Dazai. Even now.

Dazai knows that. He doesn’t seem upset, and Ryunosuke knows well now that it’s because Dazai knows he fucked up.

It’s been awhile since Dazai formally apologized, though, and Akutagawa refused to forgive him with a half-assed apology. Instead, they’ve both decided to draw a line between past Dazai and current Dazai.

It was past Dazai who hurt him and used him, current Dazai would never.

Akutagawa is pretty sure Dazai would take a bullet before doing that now…

It’s not a perfect relationship, they still have fights and bumps in the road, but mostly it’s developed into a father-son relationship.

It’s thanks for Dazai that Akutagawa even figured out his feelings for Atsushi.

And it’s thanks to him Akutagawa and Atsushi even became friends…

So, maybe it’s natural that Akutagawa feels the need to check in on Dazai while he sits in the corner of the training grounds, facing the wall.

They both have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, after all. Ryunosuke has had flashbacks, they’re never good, and it always hurts.

Akutagawa approaches him carefully, getting on his knees beside Dazai, though keeping a distance.

“Dazai-san, you’re not looking too good. Are you okay?” He asks.

Dazai lifts his head from his knees, looking over to Akutagawa, followed by a pained smile and laugh.

“Akutagawa, what’re you doing here?”

“Checking in on you, what does it look like?”

Dazai turns his head away, the pained smile still plastered to his face.

“Actually, I’m doing awful. Thanks for asking.”

Akutagawa glanced off to the side, trying to figure out what to say next.

His social skills are failing him.

“Do… You wanna talk about it?” He asks.

Dazai pauses for a moment, thinking.

“I’ve… Never done that before, but, I guess, if I were to talk about it with anyone, it should probably be with you…”

“Is it mafia related?”

Dazai nodded, dropping his knees from his chest and instead sitting criss-cross applesauce. His hair is messy, the ends of his hair was wet from crying, eyes red from the same thing. His shaking has subsided, though, which is a good thing.

“Do you know anything about what happened to me in the mafia?”

Akutagawa nodded a no.

“Good…” Dazai mumbled, “It wasn’t fun. It was awful. I don’t know how to talk about it…”

Akutagawa sighed, brushing a piece of his hair behind his ear, “Then let’s start with this. Why did you join the mafia?”

“... I was basically kidnapped into it. I never really knew my parents, I was passed around from a lot of different people since I was young. I assume my parents were apart of the mafia as well, as I was passed around between mafia members mostly. I was an unofficial member of the mafia most of my life, I received training and all that other bullshit from the age of nine,” Dazai began to explain, “I developed suicidal tendencies from there, the training conditioned me to be ready to die at any moment, to give my life to somebody else. It backfired on them, because I found myself wanting to kill myself to avoid the violence and bloodshed of the world around the age of ten.”

Akutagawa nodded understandingly, the background wasn’t surprising. He’d seen this happen to other children, it’s not uncommon for children to be born into the mafia, either.

“Then… How did you formally join the mafia?”

Dazai smiled a bit, looking off to the side, “I kept trying to kill myself, they were unable to put me in a psychward because of the information I held. So I met Dr. Ogai Mori, an underground doctor at the time. It was a mistake, he was a homicidal maniac, a manipulative piece of shit… He used my suicidal tendencies as a way to climb up to the top. He took me, age fourteen, with him to meet the former boss, and I watched him slaughter him. He used me as insurance, to get him to be the new mafia boss. In hindsight, it was good he did decide to kill the former mafia boss, but… Mori is no better.”

Akutagawa’s eyes widened, nodding along with Dazai story. He could tell this was likely the first time he had never said something like this to another person, he kept fidgeting with the buttons on his coat.

“... Mori is a pedophile. I’m sure you’re aware of that, right?”

“Yes, I’m well aware,” Akutagawa, “That why I used to tell Gin to stay away from him.”

Dazai chuckled a bit, “Clever, but you probably didn’t need to do that. I was fourteen at the time, correct? Well, when his plan fell through as I never ended up successful in killing myself, he ended up resorting to other methods… He groomed and manipulated me, abused me. Don’t imagine it, I don’t want you in the same state I’m in, but physically he did just about everything I did to you, but much worse. A doctor knows exactly where to hurt you without it being fatal, it’ll be the most painful experience of your life, but you won’t die…”

Akutagawa frowned. He took Dazai’s advice, not imagining it, and trying to avoid the thought of Mori standing above Dazai, who is in a pool of blood.

“... I hesitate to talk about this. I’ve talked about the physical side of things with people like Odasaku and Fukuzawa, Fukuzawa knows most of the crimes Mori has committed… But I never did get the chance to tell Odasaku about the sexual parts of the abuse,” Dazai explained, his voice getting quieter.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Akutagawa answered, “But sometimes it’s good to get things out, especially if you’ve never talked about it. I can promise you I’ll never tell anyone.”

Dazai ruffles his hair casually, “I know, Akutagawa. You’re a good kid, you’d probably take this secret to your grave.”

“If you asked, I happily would.”

Dazai takes a breath, running his hand through his hair as he continues to speak, “... I’m not gonna speak about it in detail, but he assaulted me on many different occasions, usually after he had beaten me up so I couldn’t fight back. I don’t usually get upset by it anymore, I’ve blocked out most of the memories, but sometimes I still remember.”

“Is that what you remembered today?”

“... More or less. I have constant reminders pasted all over me, whether or not it triggers me depends on the day,” Dazai replied, slipping off his tan jacket and beginning to roll up his sleeve.

Dazai began to unwrap the bandage on his right arm, the white fabric falling away to reveal dozens of pale white scars. Some were messy vertical incisions, if Akutagawa had to guess, they were self inflicted, versus the neat and clean horizontal ones more towards Dazai’s upper arm and shoulder.

… What I went through is nothing compared to what happened to Dazai. I don’t really have an excuse to be so upset over what he did to me, Akutagawa thought. It was a bad thought, he knew better. Atsushi told him better, his therapist told him better. There was no need to compare trauma with Dazai, but sometimes, he just couldn’t help it.

So caught up in thought, Akutagawa barely noticed Dazai beginning to shake again as his eyes ran over each scar, muttering something.

Muttering the situation each scar came from.

Akutagawa, desperate to bring his former mentor back into stability, took the bandage Dazai dropped and began to wrap it around his arm again.

“You don’t need to remember that anymore,” Akutagawa replied, reapplying his calm facade as he continued his work, “It’s in the past. It was awful, it hurt a lot, but you’ll never have to face it again.”

Dazai visibly relaxed as Akutagawa finished applying the bandage, rolling down his sleeve as Dazai then pulls Akutagawa into a hug, Akutagawa’s head against his former mentor’s chest. Ryunosuke relaxes against the other, Dazai brushing through his hair with his fingers, likely as a distraction.

“Akutagawa.”

“Yes?”

Dazai smiles a bit, “Past you would’ve just ignored me, brushed off me sitting in the corner as just me being silly, but instead you approached me and made sure I was okay.”

“Yes, and?” Akutagawa questioned, raising a brow.

“You’ve come a long way,” Dazai replied, “And I’m proud of you.”

Akutagawa pauses, feeling tears begin to well up in his eyes as he brushed it off and buried his face in Dazai’s chest again.

He’ll never forgive Dazai for what he did.

And he’ll never forgive Mori, either.

… But Akutagawa can’t lie. He’s pretty happy all of those awful, awful things led to this moment.

[terapsina]

5 Times The Doctor Talked About River Song With Graham (+1 Time The Fam Finally Met Her)

---          ao3 ---  1 ---

Graham finds it on the floor of the TARDIS control room.

Everyone else is asleep, emotionally wrung out from their latest trip, he thinks even the Doctor might have gone off for a nap and he’s never actually seen that happen before now.

But Graham can’t sleep. His mind is still painfully stuck on Grace. On having held her in his arms not even a few hours ago, on having lost her all over again. Logically he knows it wasn’t really Grace. Now that it’s over and he’s looking back he even realizes a part of him knew all along.

It doesn’t make the hurt of it lessen.

And it’s not because the illusion was flawed, if anything it’s because it was too perfect. She looked like Grace, sounded like her, fit in his arms like her. She even smelled like Grace, like Shea butter and vanilla, because all the products Grace liked to buy had those ingredients in them. Everything about her was as warm as he remembers, from her smile to the soft touch of her hand. Even her mischief twinkled like the fire from a candle in her eyes.

It was like a dream come alive, a dream he never would have been willing to wake from if not for Ryan.

He’s so angry at himself for almost having abandoned his grandson for an imitation of the woman who was the love of his life. However flawless of an imitation it was.

He’s pacing from one side of the console to the other, mind lost to self-recriminations, when he feels his foot step on something small, kicking it across the room with a light tinkle.

His eyes follow the small golden object as its slide down the floor stops in the middle of TARDIS, and finally focuses on the last thing he’d have ever expected to find here if he’d ever thought to consider it.

It’s a ring.

He walks toward it, bending to pick it up. It turns out to be a simple gold band, moving it to catch better light he notices a small inscription on the inside that he can’t read. The TARDIS isn’t translating it. It’s written in the same circular pattern that he’s seen all over the ship since the start of this strange adventure into time and space.

It’s also, unmistakably, a wedding ring.

Breath catches in Graham’s chest, because in a moment between one heartbeat and the next, he knows. And his heart breaks for his alien friend.

The Doctor was married.

He stands frozen, uncertain if he should go looking for the Doctor now or to wait until later. Picturing her face the last time he saw her, those tight and drawn eyebrows and the dropping shoulders, he comes to a decision. He pockets the ring and goes back to his room. 

The Doctor deserves some sleep too, he’ll find her tomorrow morning and return it then.

-

Tomorrow morning turns into afternoon and then evening before Graham gets his chance. By the time he woke up, both Ryan and Yaz were awake too, and the Doctor was already busy with finding their next adventure.

And he knows if someone had found Grace’s ring he’d want them to return it in private.

He loves his grandson and Yaz. But they are so young, their curiosity would have gotten the best of them and Graham doesn’t want to put Doc on the spot like that.

So he waits until Yaz and Ryan have gone off exploring the dizzying number of rooms of Doc’s ship, or whatever else it is they like to do when they’re not running toward death defying adventures with grins on their faces, before he pulls the Doctor away from tinkering with the mechanisms of her time machine.

“You have a moment?”

She slides out from underneath the opening into the console, her sonic screwdriver between her teeth. The humming of the TARDIS engines grows softer as if in response.

“What’s up Graham?” She asks, after taking the screwdriver out of her mouth and as she’s pushing her goggles up to her hairline, making her hair go in all kinds of interesting directions. She looks like the mad scientist he might have found on the screen of one of Grace’s science fiction shows.

In a way he supposes that’s a pretty accurate picture of the Doctor, and any other time Graham might have smiled in amusement at his thought. Today he flinches at the smile she sends him, knowing he’d be taking it away with his next words.

“I found something yesterday. I think it’s yours, Doc.” He says, and pulls out the object that’s been burning in his pocket the whole day.

The Doctor’s eyes slide to his arm and once they narrow in on the ring laying in the palm of his hand, her face transforms from the carefree adventurer he’s gotten to know in the past few months, to something painful and lost and hurting. It’s a look that’s far too old for that face. And so very familiar Graham can’t help but look away.

“Where did you find it?” the Doctor asks, voice a breathless whisper, her hand hovering over the ring, seeming unable to cross that final little bit of air to touch it.

“It was here on the ground. I don’t know how it got there.” He says with a nervous shrug.

“I do.” The Doctor says, eyes momentarily glaring toward the center of the room. She doesn’t explain, instead finally taking the ring from him in one quick movement and pulling it to her chest, squeezing it in a fist against her.

“I’m very sorry Doc.” Graham says. The words are inadequate but sometimes they really are the only ones available.

“I know.” She says, eyes looking to a point in empty air behind him.

He nods and pats her lightly on her shoulder, before turning around to leave her to whatever memories have washed over her with the return of that wedding band.

“Her name was River Song.” She says once he’s already taken a few steps. He stops, turning around, giving her the opportunity to continue or not as she needs. “She was an archaeologist. And a professor. And a criminal. And she was brilliant and absolutely mad.”

“She must have been. Married you didn’t she?” Graham jokes before he can help himself.

But Doc just grins like she agrees and laughs to herself. 

Something uncoils in Graham’s chest at seeing Doc’s face regaining its natural brightness, however tinged with grief. The grief isn’t new either, he’s seen shadows of it in her all along but this is the first moment she doesn’t seem to be trying to hide it. Or maybe the first time she’s not trying to hide from it.

“She did do that. Married me at every point in history happening all at the same time. And a few times after.” The Doctor tells him, leaning forward like she’s revealing a secret instead of saying something that makes no sense at all.

“Sounds like quite a woman.” 

“She was.” The Doctor says, eyes now down on the hand hiding the precious metal band within its hold.

There’s an extended moment of silence and then; “Graham?”

“Yeah, Doc?”

“Thank you.” She says, a serious and infinitely grateful look overtaking her face.

He nods at her and turns around, knows the conversation has come to a close and he should leave his friend to a moment that’s something meant between her and the specter of her wife.

In the privacy of his own mind he wonders why the Solitract never took on the form of this River Song. Whatever the reason, he finds himself grateful, he wouldn’t wish that cruelty on his worst enemy. And he certainly wouldn’t wish it on Doc.

---  2 ---

“She used to leave me coordinates and jump out of the most impossible places, waiting for me to catch her. I always did.” The Doctor says out of nowhere, both of them chained to the stone wall of the dungeons of the Victorian castle, waiting to get executed, or getting saved by Yaz and Ryan. Whichever comes first.

Personally, Graham’s hoping for the second one.

“What?” He asks, lost.

“River,” the Doctor explains. “She once defaced the oldest cliff-face in the universe. And before that she left me a recording inside a Home Box so I’d come catch her jumping out of a space ship into vacuum. It was the day her mother met her. Well, that face anyway.”

“That must have been frightening.” Graham says, uncertain. He’s not sure he wants to touch the bit about the mother. Sometimes he thinks she likes to confuse them on purpose.

"Oh no, she was absolutely fearless. Hell in high heels and it's the devils who ran." The Doctor says either misinterpreting his words or choosing to misunderstand on purpose, her voice full of spousal pride and a face painted with smitten adoration. It’s so unexpected, so unlike the Doctor’s usual disposition, that Graham needs to clear his throat to get past the sudden awkwardness of it.

"Sounds like she was made for you, Doc." He finally says, trying to picture this impossible woman who married the Doctor, and falling short. The only impression he can summon up is someone dangerous and larger than life.

He’s so busy with his mental portrait it takes him a moment to notice the Doctor has fallen silent, once he looks at her though his breath stutters. Her face is so pained it’s as if he’d landed a physical hit with his last words. She looks almost... ashamed.

He curses himself for whatever it was he said that put that expression there.

“You okay, Doc?” He asks, voice as gentle as he can make it, trying not to startle her into pulling back into herself.

The Doctor flinches and blinks rapidly like waking from a bad dream, then her face transforms into her usual bright but slightly removed facade, and she’s back to trying to reassure him.

“I’m always alright.” She lies and changes the subject. “I wonder what’s keeping Yaz and Ryan, they should really have gotten past the sleeping guards by now.”

He doesn’t call her on it and moves his mind back to the problem at hand. The problem at hand of course being; the part where they’re chained to a prison wall for trying to assassinate Queen Victoria. The fact Queen Victoria has been replaced by a homicidal alien copy asks for some worrying too and Graham is more than willing to oblige.

In the end it turns out there’s no need for either worry, Yaz and his grandson find them twenty minutes later and they’re away from 1882, London within an hour.

The real Queen back on her rightful throne, though still yelling threats to the Doctor’s back even as they’re being whisked away by the little blue box.

---  3 ---

They’ve split into pairs again. Usually he prefers to watch his grandson’s back when that happens but today is March 18 - or would have been if they weren’t jumping all over time and space, - and Ryan had been snapping at him since morning.

He knows Ryan well enough to know that if he doesn’t give him some space before trying to talk to him about it, they won’t talk at all.

“Everything okay with Ryan?” The Doctor asks as they’re traveling through the apparently semi-sentient crystal tunnels of the newest planet she’s brought them to, trying to find and stop whoever it is that’s been attempting to mine it.

Grace would have loved it here. The sapphire-like stone itself is the familiar blue of what he’s pretty sure is Doc’s favorite color but it’s mixed with golden strands that run through the fault-lines and leave the strange impression of blood vessels, veins running through the body of the living crystal.

“It would have been Grace’s birthday today.” Graham says, heart clenching in his chest at saying it aloud. In a perfect universe he would be home right now, standing over her favorite cake - red velvet with cherry frosting, - and singing a ‘Happy Birthday’ with their grandson.

In a perfect universe she would be here beside him, just as in awe of their surroundings as he is.

“Oh.” The Doctor says and grows quiet.

“It’ll be alright tomorrow. It’s just… today is hard. For both of us.” He hopes he’s not lying. Hopes Ryan will let Graham find him once they’re back in the TARDIS so they can spend the evening talking and laughing and crying about Grace. So they can pick themselves up tomorrow and continue living in her honor like she’d have wanted them to.

They spend a few minutes just walking when the silence finally becomes too much for Graham. 

“How long were you married?” It’s the first time he’s initiated the subject of the Doctor’s wife himself, the two previous times it was her who opened up first, so he’s not entirely sure how she’ll respond. But he’s ready to fall back into silence and not press if it looks like she doesn’t want to talk about it.

“I don’t know.” She says, still steps ahead and with her back to him.

“How can you not know?” Graham asks, mind heavy with confusion.

“If I count only all the days we were together; then two, maybe three centuries. If I count all my days from our first wedding to the last time I saw her, then almost half my life.” She says with a forcefully easy tone. 

Graham stops in his tracks as the implication hits. “Centuries?” 

She turns around and looks at him like she’s measuring the words she’s planning to say, or if she’ll say them at all. After a moment her face clears and she seems to come to some sort of decision.

“I’m more than two thousand years old, Graham. I’ve loved River Song through four of my faces and had more than twice as many before that, most of them male. I’m not human.”

Graham had known that, that the Doc wasn’t human, that she had two hearts and enough lives to make a cat jealous. In an abstract way that they were a man before they were a woman, because she’s dropped enough comments to that effect by now. But he hadn’t realized the differences between them were quite so vast as two millennia.

“Was she?” He asks and immediately thinks better. “Wait, no, you said three centuries, she couldn’t have been.”

“What?”

“Your wife.” He doesn’t know why he’s asking that, except maybe because he knows Grace would have, and so especially today of all days he has to in her place. Or maybe it’s just that pesky human curiosity.

“She wasn’t. And she was.” She says after a moment and turns back around to continue walking. “She was the daughter of my two best friends. And the daughter of TARDIS.”

She doesn’t explain further than that, so he’s left puzzling over the new contradiction on his own for the rest of the way through the alien tunnels with his strange alien friend as his company, a silent one now.

He turns his head back toward the faintly glowing walls and once he looks more carefully notices the slightly irregular pulsing of the golden veins. Fascinated he again thinks about how much Grace would have loved to see this.

‘Happy birthday!’ He thinks toward her, hoping she’s seeing this from wherever it is she’s watching over him and Ryan.

---  4 ---

They’re back in Sheffield the next time the subject of River Song comes up.

Yaz is off spending some time with her family and Ryan is meeting his father for dinner. Graham is trying really hard not to stress himself into growing ulcers over that last one.

It’s not that he thinks he’s going to lose to Aaron the bond he’s finally building with his grandson. He understands Ryan’s wish to repair the relationship between him and his father. It’s just that despite Graham’s belief in Aaron’s genuine regret, he can’t help worry that Ryan will get his heart broken again.

He doesn’t think he could stand seeing Ryan disappointed like that again.

Which leaves him at home. Worrying. With the Doctor as company.

“He’ll be fine, Graham.” The Doctor says, not for the first time this hour.

“I know that.” Graham says back, eyes still on the door.

“Oh, do frowns and scrunched up foreheads not mean what they used to mean in you humans?” The Doctor’s voice sounds amused so he can’t help but glare at her a bit.

“Hilarious.” He mutters under his breath.

“I am, aren’t I?” She says. 

He huffs loudly and goes back to staring at the door. Waiting for Ryan to come home.

“Do you want to talk about something else then?” She offers. “Might distract you.”

“Be my guest.”

“The first time River met me she shot the TARDIS, tried to kill Hitler and poisoned me with a kiss.” The Doctor drops, and to give credit where it’s due, distracts Graham absolutely.

“What?” He doesn’t even know which part to touch first.

“Poisoned lipstick. So glad she switched to hallucinogenic ones later.” She almost sounds dreamy. Graham feels his brain beginning to hurt.

“She poisoned you?” Honestly, he doesn’t even know why he’s shocked, it’s the Doc after all. But still, how do you marry someone who poisoned you in their first interaction?

“Only a little bit. And she saved me right after.”

“And that makes it okay?” Graham says, furious on her behalf.

“There were... reasons. She didn’t know me yet but she knew about me and- well, there were reasons.” The Doctor explains. Even though Graham doesn’t really think it explains all that much at all. Something about her expression though tells him to leave it alone, there’s that guilty, haunted look in her eyes again and Graham isn’t sure he wants to know what’s behind it.

So maybe it’s a good thing that before he has a chance to put his foot in his mouth there comes the sound of a key turning in the lock and the front door slamming open.

“Hey, gramps.” Ryan says walking in, a wide smile on his young face.

Graham exhales, the knot of worry loosening for now and smiles back, hiding the stress he’d been struggling with for the past few hours. “Hello, son. How did it go?”

“Good.” Ryan says, a slightly shy happiness dancing like starlight in his eyes.

---  5 ---

It’s almost three months since Graham found the ring and gave it back to the Doctor before a moment comes where he feels like it might finally be the right time to touch on the one thing that’s been implied but never addressed in their conversations about the Doctor’s wife.

The day isn’t particularly different from any of the previous ones.

It’s late and Graham can’t sleep so he walks to the kitchen for a cup of tea when he finds the Doctor already there, eating custard cream biscuits.

He nods tiredly in her direction, grabbing two blue cups from a shelf and going through the motions of making both of them the peppermint tea he finds on the counter-top - he’s pretty sure it wasn’t there a moment ago but he’s also gotten used to not questioning things like that while aboard the TARDIS.

“Sugar?” He asks, because he’s noticed she never puts the same amount in any of her cups. He thinks it might depend on her mood.

“Two and a half teaspoons, please.” She tells him and he tries not to grimace as he follows her instructions.

“Here.” He says and passes her the cup once he’s done. Pulling his own cup - no sugar - with him to the other side of the table. 

She gives him a few biscuits in exchange and for a few minutes they share their midnight snack in peace. And then the thought that has been ruminating unvoiced for a long time now surfaces in his mind again, and for the first time he doesn’t push it back down.

“How did you lose her?” He asks.

The biscuit halts halfway to her mouth and then lands heavily back on the plate. For a long time she just stares into her tea and Graham thinks she’ll choose not to answer.

But then she looks up into his eyes and breathes out very slowly.

“She died the day I met her.” She says.

“I thought you said you were the one who almost died when you met.” Graham says, confused again.

“When she met me. This was before that- well, from my point of view at least. We never met in the right order. She was a time traveler too, had a vortex manipulator, I think she might have stolen it from an old friend of mine actually, not that she ever actually admitted where she got it.” She says, growing more animate as she switches gears mid-tangent. “Our timelines went in opposite directions. Not entirely of course, there were loops and twists and exceptions but for the most part the older I got, the more often the River I ran into was a younger and younger version of her.”

“So the day you met her...” He says not finishing the thought, horrified as he realizes what she’s saying.

“She died saving four thousand and twenty-two people.” She finishes for him with a shrug that belies the pain he knows she must be feeling at saying it.

“That couldn’t have been easy, knowing the entire time what would happen to her.”

“I spent centuries running away from the last date we’d have before she went to the Library.” She snaps. “So, no, not easy.”

“Did you ever try to-”

“What? Change it? Save her? Go back and make sure she never died there? Take her place?” She glares at him and for a fraction of a moment she looks her age, millennia old and furious and terrifying beyond reason, and for that one moment Graham is almost scared of her. And then she blinks, her gaze losing it’s terrible intensity, and he’s not even sure that he didn’t imagine it. “She would never have forgiven me. And- and her timeline is complicated, even if I tried to- there’s a very good chance if I did it that I’d be erasing her from the universe entirely.”

He stares at her, heart full of grief for the pain she must have lived through. He tries to imagine having known the entire time about the day he’d lose Grace to that fall and almost breaks with it. He doesn’t think he could have survived that.

“You’re like a Greek tragedy, Doc.” He breathes past the knot in his throat.

“Always preferred the Romans.” She says and goes back to eating her biscuits, eyes skittering away from meeting his.

He knows the conversation is over and by the way she’s starting to fidget with that chain around her neck, - the one that wasn’t there three months ago but which she hasn’t taken off since, - and by the way she is decisively avoiding his gaze. He knows she wants to be left alone.

Respecting her wish for privacy he finishes the last of his tea and gets up to leave. “Goodnight, Doctor.”

She doesn’t answer but by the time he’s reached the door he does hear her say something. Something he’s pretty certain isn’t addressed at him. Both because he doesn’t understand it and because he’s pretty sure she’s already forgotten that he’s still in the room at all.

“Not those times, not one line. I promise.”

--- +1 ---

It ends the way it began. With Graham noticing something small in the control room of the TARDIS. Though this time it’s not the middle of the night and he’s not there all by himself.

It’s mid-afternoon and the Doctor is laying on her stomach, playing with the insides of the ship, sparks flying around her whenever she touches a wire with her sonic and once in a while being interrupted by what sounds like the irritated humming of the TARDIS itself. Yaz and Ryan are on either side of her trying to figure out exactly what she’s doing, though Graham is not at all sure even Doc knows what that is.

And then something catches his eye.

“There’s a blinking button, Doctor.” He says and goes over to it for a closer look.

“Red or green?” She asks, not moving from her place halfway into the console.

“Blue.”

“Oh, someone’s left a voicemail. Put it on speaker, will you?” She says louder, in answer to the sudden shudder that runs through the ship and makes Graham catch the console for balance.

“Sure. How do I do that?” He asks, eyes running over the large number of doodads in front of him.

“Flip the first switch to the right down, and then press the blinking button.”

He follows her instructions and as soon as he’s done so, a low female voice with a Southern British accent rings across the room, a playful lilt to her tone.

“Hello Sweetie, be a dear and come pick me up, please?” There’s the sound of an explosion from the other side of the call echoed by the unmistakable clang of someone hitting their head against metal from under the TARDIS console. Before Graham can do more than lean over to check that they’re all okay, the Doctor is already up and pushing him out of her way. “I’ve sent you the coordinates.”

“Who was that?” Yaz asks with obvious concern as soon as she and Ryan join them. 

Graham has a feeling he already knows.

“River.” The Doctor exhales more than says, Graham notices her hands shaking as she pulls up the mentioned coordinates.

“Doctor?” Ryan asks, looking just as worried as Yaz.

“My wife.” The Doctor says and starts running around them, flicking switches all around the control table even quicker than Graham’s already used to seeing from her.

“Your what?” Yaz exclaims in tandem with Ryan’s: “What?”

The Doctor ignores them both, halting with her hand atop the lever that will make them take off and turns her head to face Graham. She’s paler than normal, eyes blown wide from terror and tears starting to visibly gather in the corners. Graham has never seen her scared, not truly, but right now she looks on the edge of breaking.

“I can’t go through this again. I’ve already lost her three times I can’t- not again.”

Graham stands frozen, for a moment absolutely uncertain about what he could possibly say to help her. And then the answer hits him and it is so very simple.

“It sounds like she’s in trouble, Doc.” He says, remembering one of the things she’d told him.”You said you always showed up to catch her.”

The Doctor lets out a shuddering breath and seems to steel herself. She pulls the lever and they all grab for the nearest steady surface to stay on their feet as TARDIS takes off with an almost exhilarated sounding wheeze.

“Is someone going to explain what is going on? Where are we going?” Yaz yells again, this time directing the question at Graham.

“It’s not my place to say.” He says, holding on to the table for dear life but upon noticing Yaz’s frustrated expression expands on his words. “But I’m pretty sure you’re about to find out.”

When they come to a halt a moment later the Doctor is already running toward the Police Box door, flinging it open with a snap of her fingers before she’s even halfway there and then crashing to the ground as a woman lands sprawling on top of her.

“Well hello there,” River Song purrs for all of them to hear. “That’s new.”

“River!” The Doctor says, like all the breath has been knocked out of her. To be fair, Graham’s pretty sure that’s literally the case.

“Yes, Sweetie?”

“What were you doing breaking onto the Museum Planet. They execute their thieves.” The Doctor says from underneath her wife, looking all too happy to stay where she is even as her voice turns chiding. “Also it’s boring down there.”

“Yes, well, it’s not my fault that I’m so infamous that when I’m presumed dead all my personal possessions suddenly turn into priceless artifacts they want to put on display. They were practically begging me to steal them back.” The Doctor’s wife says with a smirk Graham can hear even without seeing her face.

“Presumed dead?” The Doctor asks, voice turning small again.

“Oh, honestly, Doctor! Did you expect me to spend all of my eternity in that data core? It took me a while, I’ll give you that, but at the end of the day it was just another Stormcage.”

Graham is starting to feel like he might not have gotten anywhere near the entire story himself here. But he’s also beginning to get the feeling that the Doctor might be getting her wife back from the dead after all.

“You’ve been to the Library.” The Doctor says, starting to struggle to be let up and Graham finally catches a glimpse of her face. She looks overwhelmed, but where just minutes ago it was with fear of having to say goodbye again, right now there’s a dawning realization of something akin to bliss.

Graham feels his own heart tremble in his chest. It hurts. River Song is alive and Grace is still dead and no matter how happy he is for the Doctor, there’s sudden gnawing envy trying to swallow the heart that he’d only barely started to mend.

He has just enough time to see the Doctor pull River into her arms, crushing her mouth against her wife’s, before his eyes turn away and land on the shocked faces of Ryan and Yaz.

He walks over to the two of them and turns them around by their shoulders to steer them out of the control room and into the deeper hallways of the TARDIS.

“Come on son, Yasmin, we should give them some privacy to catch up. I think they haven’t seen each other for a very long time.”

[ruffiorocks]

Lena deserves better than being the only one to suffer for her faults

You know, I hope they don't make Lena go bad, even if she temporarily loses her way.

It would be such a waste of 3 seasons of character development and soooo cliche.

Plus I know Kara is the main character and the main hero, but this show has actually done a pretty good job of showing us that Kara is in no way perfect, she makes rash decisions, f**ks up, lies, has a lot of emotional issues, has been xenophobic (Mon El) makes poor choices sometimes, can be manipulative (using James against Lena), uses Lena quite a lot, has serious Jekell and Hyde issues, scoffs at authority even if those in authority are arseholes etc. She's even killed people/aliens, she killed Rudy/Parasite and she killed Reign, even if she did go back in time and reverse that.

Lena is in no way perfect either, but then she was never supposed to be a squeaky clean hero like we're supposed to see Kara as, although as I've mentioned she isn't squeaky clean at all! Lena has done dodgy stuff but because of her last name and the fact the show likes to 'tease' her going bad, she is the ONLY one that anyone is concerned about when it comes to being questionable, because that's how the show presents it. Even in the teasers or promos about her, they leave whatever she's doing as a question mark.

But Kara on the show, and even in promos is presented as the hero in the right no matter what. The only way we really get to see Kara as having done something wrong is if Lena or Kara herself points it out. People say this is the show Constantly making Kara apologize to Lena but I think it's great! Having Kara apologize for some of the nonsense she pulls, especially to Lena humanizes her and acknowledges that she isn't as perfect as she's usually presented to be.

The show does a horrible job of ignoring how dodgy the other Superfriends can be, because they are the 'heroes' and Lena is forever the question mark, even though without her they can't always save the day. They get round this by sometimes making Lena indirectly responsible for what goes on. But Lena isn't always the ONLY one involved in the issues that happen.

E.g. Rhea and the Daxamite invasion:

When Rhea first arrived with Mon Els dad and the Daxamite fleet, she had no interest whatsoever in Earth. ALL she wanted was for Mon El to go back with them. She threatened Earth because she thought they were holding Mon El hostage.

Mon El who had talked a big game about not being OK with slavery or anything else Daxam did and wanted to be a hero, took less than an hour to decide he had no interest in taking the colossal opportunity handed to him where he could make a difference. He thought his culture was dead, no way to make up for his past faults. But lo and behold he got a second chance to write Daxams wrongs. Yes his mum threatened to lock him in a cell until the reached Daxam but is 3 years in a cell really that big of a price to pay for the ability to make changes? He would have been king, he probably couldn't change things Immediately, but he could have built a support base, staged a coup, led a rebellion or at least tried!! But nope, he decided to leave the remaining Daxam Slaves and any future ones to their fates so he could have his girl. Don't forget as well that Mon El left it until he was beamed aboard his parents ship to let Kara know who he was. He let Kara think he was possibly going to his death when he knew it was just mum and dad and he was way past currew! Kara in tears because that jack ass was crying to thought he might die and risked her own neck to join him on the Daxamite ship.

Kara in this situation wasn't any better. She talked a big game about how sh*t Daxam was and how wrong slavery was. She even went to Slavers Bay with Mon El and rescued people. But when the time came for Mon El to possibly fix or at least begin to fix Daxams slave issues she had zero interest in it, she had a go at Rhea for it but made no attempt to convince Mon El that maybe going back and helping his people was a good idea, no Kara's concern for Daxamite slaves only goes as far as her not getting her man. The stupid thing was if it had been the other way round it would have been in character for Kara to take that 3 years in a cell and do the noble thing.

So yeah, Rhea only invaded because Mon El told her to get lost and she blamed Kara for it. Lena had absolutely nothing to do with that, Rhea had already made the decision to make Earth New Daxam because of Kara and Mon El, way before she ever set eyes on Lena.

But non of that is ever acknowledged, but Lena's part in helping an alien try to get home and in the process perhaps help third world countries get the aid they needed in mere minutes was heavily highlighted. We got to see Lena hating herself for that, while Kara/Supergirl mopped about like an emo ignoring Lena and not really acknowledging the part she played in the invasion. Because we're left to see it as purely Lena's fault.

We are shown Jonn as the fatherly papa bear who struggles with violence. We saw him try the path of peace and fail at it, his father shows up and tells him that's OK and we're all like "ahhh papa bear".

BUT

Whats glossed over is Jonn's serious anger issues and homicidal tendencies. He wanted to kill the White Martian that was impersonating the Senator, he had already knocked it out and subdued it. But that wasn't enough for Jonn, he wanted it dead because it was a white Martian, he was going to kill the unarmed, unconscious alien and even brought along Kryptonite cuffs so Kara wouldn't be able to stop him from slaughtering it. Thankfully Kara gave a hope speech and he snapped out of it.

Secondly Jonn actually DOES kill Manchester Black after he disarms him. Manchester who can no longer do any harm to him is brutally stabbed it the chest, all because he made Jonn see something traumatic. If Jonn can't handle the possibly of psychic attacks he shouldn't be out there fighting. He killed a human that couldn't harm him after he was disarmed. But is this highlighted or discussed in any way whatsover? No! Manchester is just gone and Jonn gets to be all 'well that's done and dusted, off to game night".

Kara's roll in this? Kara is shocked for all or 5 seconds before she is telling Jonn every one makes mistakes amd he can still be on his path of peace.....I mean....... What?! Who wrote that dialogue? But Kara's own super hero code shouldn't she have reported Jonn or had him arrested? No of course not because Jonn is one of the designated heroes and not deemed questionable by writer's or the audience even though his actions say something different.

People that call Lena a murderer for shooting an unarmed Lex don't seem to recall Kara killing Parasite rather than locking him up and getting the DEO to try and find a cure. They don't recall Jonn INTENDING to kill the White Martian. They don't remember Jonn MURDERING an unarmed Manchester Black in same F**king season as Lena shooting Lex! Why is this not acknowledged? Because the show chooses not to highlight it! They don't even have Kara bothered by Murder or Killing enemies if it's her or the super friends doing it.

But Lena? Ooh she shot an unarmed Lex, must be dodgy as f**k and deserves to be locked up, what an evil murderer!! Oh no, Lena shot the Arrowverses version of Hitler who was about to destroy an entire planet of Kryptonians who are only still here because of Lena!! How awful she must be.

Let's not forget as well that a lot of what Lena has done has been supported by the Superfriends at one point or another. I seem to recall a certain Alex Danvers and Brainy working on that Harun El serum!

Yes Adam was a terrible tragedy that shouldn't have happened. But is that worse than Jonn actually premeditating murder? Or out right Killing someone he had already disarmed? You talk about clinical trials etc but the show isnt going to waste precious air time going through that. Lena made a gigantic mistake, at least she owns the mistake and refused Haley when she wanted to use the Serum on DEO Agents.

Kara has zero issues telling Nia a girl she has known for 5 minutes her secret because she felt some solidarity and was missing Alex. She didn't know Nia at all, Nia could have been playing her or anything, but this isn't acknowledged because Nia is the new Hero (fyi love Nia). But Lenw, her best friend of 3 years and the girl who has been in the DEO kicking add and saving lives and the world apparently isn't Worthy of this secret. Why? Kara's bulls**t excuse is to keep Lena safe, yet she apparently gives zero f**ks about Winns of Nia's safety. The real reason is because Lena is q Luthor and the show just needed her to not know and although the keeping Lena safe reason isn't a bad one, it becomes null and void when they have Kara telling people she barely knowns who she is. That goes for the "Kara doesn't owe her identity to anyone" argument as well , that only works when she isn't telling everyone she meets after 5 minutes of knowing them.

Basically after that tangent I went in, if Lena becomes bad after saving the world and Kara's ass more times than many of the super friends have done purely so we can have Kara defeat her and come out as the shining heroine that defeats the bad Luthor (not cliche at all) whilst not acknowledging some of her own faults and the homicidal tendencies of Jonn and the actual murder he committed it would be beyond hypocritical.

Fyi, had Kara told Lena who she was, a lot of issues could have been avoided, especially the Rhea one and Reign/Kryptonite one.

[ahmedmootaz]

More shippy moments between Dr.Drakken and Shego.

So I’ve recently fell off the planet and climbed back on again, and whaddya know, I was just on time to catch-up with Season 3. I‘ve stopped just shy of “So The Drama”, having heard of how spectacular it was, but I couldn’t help but notice that Season 3 did little to stop me shipping a certain mad doctor and his sidekick. Seriously, that season has a ton of ship fuel.

So first of all, “Steal Wheels.”. Okay, I’m well-aware this one was mostly Eddie and Drakken hanging out and being enemies/nemesis/pals/cousins, but I kinda like how Drakken knows better than to oppose Shego’s ideas and how he seems to simply accept that she (sometimes, of course; wouldn’t let his ego admit anything more) is better than him at driving the Doom-V. I like that he also knows how to treat her better than Eddie, even if its mostly because she has glowing plasma hands of doom.

Then there was “Emotion Sickness.”. This...this wasn’t just shipping fuel, I’m fairly certain someone on the Kim Possible Team ships Kim with Ron and Drakken and Shego and used this episode to express that. I mean...holy heck, there were so, so many things that need commenting on...So firstly, let’s start by mentioning the “This is not the right time to question the nature of our relationship!”, and...what? Does Drakken mean that she’s questioned it before? I mean, I’m fairly certain that at this point they’re friends, if nothing else, so...It was an interesting comment.

Then, Dr.D reacting to Shego’s mood swings at first. I feel he’s kinda...trying to do his best? I mean, yeah, telling Shego she was overreacting probably wasn’t the brightest idea he ever got, but other than that, he seems like he’s trying to do his best while she’s setting him on fire and beating him to a pulp. I also reaaaally like how his first assumption to what’s happening is that he forgot her birthday. What, is that just a regular thing employers and employees do? Remember each other’s birthday and celebrate it accordingly?...Boy, this sole line can inspire so many Fanfics...

And then there was the whole “lovey-dovey” mode. Yeah, this was one big shipping episode. So first of all, Shego flirting with Drakken on a table and posing. I’m still deciding whether Drakken is actually so oblivious he couldn’t grasp she could flirt with him or if he was trying to be good employer and a gentleman. I mean, considering he seemed to have no idea what was happening while she was growling like a cat I’d lean towards the former. And then the whole “Perfect weather for cuddling” comment. I was positive Drakken was going to call the insane asylum to take him in because he was seeing hallucinations. And that massage...seems like our mad scientist is a bit stressed from his “worky-worky”. And then the park montage...Yeah, I’m willing to assume that the photo-booth ‘session’ melted his brain. I mean what? She just...jumped him. This was basically an accurate depiction of what Dr.Drakken would be like when faced with the concept that someone could be infatuated with him. Spoilers: He’s scared out of his wits.

So we’ll skip the admittedly amusing Kim Part of the episode and jump back to their Dinner Date. Their entire interactions there were golden, not to mention Shego’s ‘Yaaaay’ and giggle after Drakken told her (while being pointed at with a what’s basically a gun to his head) it’d be an evil date. I wouldn’t describe Shego as ‘cute’, but that scene could hardly be described as otherwise. Then when they’re at the Middleton Festival and Shego suddenly bursts into tears, I adore that Drakken, who up to this point was basically psycologicaly scarred, tortured and shocked by Shego, doesn’t just leave her or anything, no, he comforts her when she says he’s “Leaving her in her time of need.” and says “No no no, I’‘ll just...I’ll be right back.” though what really makes that scene for me is his tone; it’s not frustrated or fake, he did mean it. Of course, I suppose Shego did also mean it when she then went into rage-mode and was ready to blast him to pieces. And, just as if this episode couldn‘t stuff anymore fluff, Drakken’s first idea on how to calm a homicidal Shego is to make her dinner. What kind of boss makes you dinner to make up with you?!...Also, I do wonder, how did he get the Moodulator off of her?

So after this ship-filled episode, it’d only be natural to have an episode where Shego comes back to her senses and dumps Drakken for another villain. So “Bad Boy” comes in and has Drakken actively seek Shego’s attention and sympathy by...crying. Sometimes I see the ‘mad’ part in ‘mad scientist’ in him. Sometimes I don’t. In any case, Shego, contrary to what you’d expect, takes him to a Villain-Con. It seemed like a nice gesture on her part. Then there were Drakken’s actions when he was “good”. Coco-Moo. Never before did I imagine I’d hear him saying that word, but now that I did, I’m glad it happened. I mean come on, the first thing he does when he turns good is make her and his henchmen cookies and Coco-Moo I mean what is this boss-employer relationship? I also liked Shego kinda acknowledging the fact that is was sort of a low-blow to leave Drakken in his goody two-shoes state.

“Showdown At The Crooked D” had Shego flex her language skills on Drakken. I don’t know why I loved that scene so much, but I did. And I liked their whole “Cowboy-like” interactions. It was also nice to see she didn’t abandon after their plan failed.

“Dimension Twist.” didn’t really have much in term of shippiness, though I appreciated Drakken taking Shego with him when he escaped.

And then the last episode that involved them together this season: “Rappin’ Drakken.” Firstly, it seems to me as if Drakken did, actually, listen to Shego after all this time and make his device immediately launch instead of counting down. But that’s not what I really loved during this episode. I loved the fact that Drakken and Shego go to karaoke together. What, don’t tell me that’s regular employer-employee stuff! And even so, why doesn’t Shego bail out if she claims she hates it so much? Drakken’s rap itself was golden, but this scene made my day.

And that’s all I’ve got. I’m still working on that story I said I’d write, but then it suddenly spiraled out of control and got longer than expected and what was supposed to be a single paragraph transformed into a chapter and it has evolved a mind of its own and help me-

Ahem. In any case, have some more shippy moments. Again, I must praise the series itself, as its quality makes it a delight to watch. And now, off to So The Drama...

[booknerdateen]

Halloween Book Recommendations!👻☠️🎃....Part 1

Hello, my loves!! If you saw my last post, then you know what’s coming. If not, let me tell you....I wanted to do a Halloween Book Recommendation post (long one) in the beginning of the month since it’s pre Halloween month-as I call it for right now. That didn’t happen for the last couple days because I was busy. But here we are! Now...be amazed of allllll the choices you got and even if some may not be your genre or type, that is okay!

📖 The Diviners Trilogy by Libba Bray

This series is one of my favorites...sadly I haven’t finished reading the 2nd book (Lair of Dreams), but with my Halloween binge I am planning on rereading and finishing it. This is 1920’s New York...nuff said. But anyways, we have different persoectives told in 3rd person (I have no idea which 3rd, cuz those I can’t remember for the life of me), who has abilities to see ghosts/future, etc... aka Diviners. Basically physics in other words. In the first one, they battle out this evil monster dude (which is creepy...the monster dude). Lair of Dreams deals with this mystery illness...I can’t say much for this one since I haven’t finished it yet. Before the Devil Breaks You is the 3rd and final book and I don’t know what that one is about.

The audiobooks-y’all do them-I have no comments. I read The Diviners physically (I didn’t really get into audiobooks till recently this year). I did try and listen to Lair of Dreams, but it wasn’t for me. i may give it another try, so no promises on this though. I have heard that they are really good, so hopefully they are as well for you.

📖Stalking Jack the Ripper Series by Kerri Maniscalco

This series is one of my favorites! I’m gonna say that for so many here, but I love this one to pieces to where I preordered the 3rd book (Escaping From Houdini) and also the 4th and final one (Capturing the Devil. CTD is being shipped on the 10th this month (6 DAYS) from my Barnes and Noble location, so I don’t know if it will arrive that day or not.

Anyways, this series follows Audrey Rose Wadsworth in the late 1800s dealing with the Ripper murders. The second involves Dracula, third is Houdini, and the fourth is H.H Holmes. Yes, America’s first serial killer! Sorry, I’m very excited about that. Being a girl in the 1800s/1900s, you’re not really have much to live for. Audrey rather do things that guys can do (forensics in this case), then being at tea parties. I don’t blame you, girl! Then, Thomas Cressworth comes in as well and they both solves these crimes together with the help of Audrey’s uncle (a mortician). If that doesn’t get your interest, then Idk what will.

📖Confessions Series by James Patterson

This series is more mystery than horror. I personally love James Patterson and he has always been one of my favorite authors. This one follows the Angel siblings after their parents’ mystery death (that mystery is the center of the first one (Confessions of a Murder Suspect). These siblings aren’t necessarily ordinary in some since. I don’t want to give away anything, but meds has the reason for that.

Tandy Angel (main character here) solves these murders/crimes throughout the books. The second one contains school murders (not shootings, thankfully) (Confessions: The Private School Murders). The third (Confessions: The Paris Mysteries) takes place in Paris, France. I have not read this one nor the 4th one (Confessions: The Murder of an Angel) so I don’t have any opinions on these ones. It is really good and if you’re a sucker for mysteries and James Patterson boos, then here you go!

📖The Women’s Murder Club by James Patterson

Another Patterson series...I’m a sucker for them. At first, I had called this the Number series because I didn’t know what the series was called and the only thing I knew was that they have numbers in the title.

Meet Lindsay Boxer (main character), homicide inspector for San Fran; Claire Washburn, medical examiner; Jill Bernhardt, assistant D.A.; and Cindy Thomas, San Fran Chronicle writer. 4 amazing chicks who kick butt, form the Women’s Murder Club to solve these murders. Freakin girl power! The chapters are quite short, sometimes longer, but usually short, which if you’re good with that, then cool, if not, that’s okay! I’m pretty sure the latest book of the series published is the 17th one...maybe 18th....one of those two. These are the ones I currently have.

📖The Merciless Series by Danielle Vega

If you love horror, possesion, all that stuff, you’ll love this series. I first discovered it on Facebook when the book trailer popped up. It was a interesting trailer and caught my tention. Couple years later, my senior year of high school, the book fair came (appears twice a year, this was the first appearance) and I had to buy it. It was $8 bucks, originally $10.99. If you are very religious, then maybe not this series. Lots of said people said its Mean Girls and the Craft mixed together.

The first two books follows Sophoa Flores as the main character. Sophia, being the new girl, befriends the 3 populare chicks (Plastics), who they want her to befriend this outsider (Brooklynn). Mean Girls basically but little bit reveresed. Then things happen. Spoilers, so I can’t really clarify it. Second is and it’s what the 2nd is also called....The Excorsim of Sophia Flores...DUN DUN DUNNNN. The third (Origins of Evil) is where Brooklynns story begins, so we know how Brooklynn became and what not. The 4th and final (The Last Rites) features a little bit of Sophia, but this main character is Berkley Hubbard, fresh out of rehab. Honestly, these books do scare me, but not like how when I watched the Conjuring the first time. Perfect read for Halloween season!

📖Mrs. Peregrine Series by Ransom Riggs

Now, I have not been able to finish the dang first book, so Idk. From what I have read and remeber, it is really good! It’s kind of horro...I don’t particularly think it is, but others do. This has mixed media, mainly pictures, but fascinating ones! The four books follows Jacob Portman and his friends of peculiar aka they have abilities and their adventures they have. If you’ve seen the movis, then you understand what I mean. Ransom’s writing is one of my favorites and having pictures/media in them makes me happy. I am a visual person, so the pictures help me a lot.

Anways, the first book is where Jacob is in the peculiar world where the peculiars live in this never ending time loop of the same day, but they rewind time before bombs happen aka Poland in WW 2. I’ve heard so many amazing things of this series! Jesse the Reader (booktuber) LOVES this series and he will recommend it to the end of time.

📖Visions Trilogy by Lisa McMann

These three books involve visions. If you have seen Medium (with Patricia...I cant remember her last name), then you will love Visions. They don’t involve any ghosts, so that’s a difference from Medium.

Here we have (Crash) Jules Demarco, who is seeing visions of this explosion everywhere. She realizes this explosion will happen very soon and she has to stop it before it happens. Not much, I know, but the next one (Bang) (sadly deals with a school shooting), her crush gets the visions this time. The third one (Gasp) has this random character who the two save last book ends up getting the visions then. This vision is a boat accident...a ferry to be precise, but nothing like Titanic...at least I don’t think so. This was a good series and really liked them. Easy to read in 1 day...unless y’all are busy and or a slow reader like me.

📖The Asylum Series by Madeleine Roux

Horror, ghosts, random past lives stuff! I only have the first two books (Asylum and Sanctum), but I think there is a third and one or two novellas. I love these guys! You get some pictures and letters in the books, so cool!

Here is Dan Crawford, who is spending the summe at the New Hampshire College Prep program. Abby Valdez and Jordan (no last name was given) are his new found friends at the program. The catch of all this, the newly built dorms is where the Brookline Asylum used to be. The three friends uncover secrets of their pasts and families and such. It’s such a good series.

📖The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer

The infamous Twilight books. Y’all may have expected this or may not have. I do not have an opinion on this series just yet. I recently read Twilight for the first time and really liked it. That said, hopefully I will get to the other books and see where my opinions lie.

Everyone knows what this series is about, but if not, come to me. Isabella (Bella) Swan moves from the heat of Arizona (I feel you Bella) to the rainy world of Forks, Washington. There, she meets the Cullen siblings...mainly Edward...who happens to be vampires. Bella and Edward get closer and start dating and what not. Ah yes, the infamous woods scene where Edward is like “Say it!” to Bella, it actually happens in the car so casually. This series contains a love triangle of a human, vampire, and a werewolf.

📖The Chronicles of Vladmir Tod by Heather Brewer...okay it’s formerly Heather, but it is now Zac Brewer

I love this series...even though I only read the first two books and a little bit of the 3rd one. If you love vampires...well half human half vampire then yessss! Half human, Half Titan....Half human, half ghoul....if y’all watch anime, then you probably get the two references. Okay...onto the synopsis!

Vladmir Tod is the equivalent of...dang it what is the word....ahhh disgrace cuz he is half human and half vampire. In the vampire world, humans and vamps dont go together. He is raised by his Aunt Nelly, who of course knows he is half vampire. His best friend, Henry also knows. Throughout 8th Grade to 12th Grade, he’s gotta deal with bullies and vampire slayers. What a hard knock life for this dude.

[shewasanamericangirl]

screamin bout zi-o 36

i had fun doing this last week, so let’s make another screencap post! of course, i said that, and then it took several days to upload all the pictures because tumblr just stops fucking working sometimes. anyhoo! it’s yuko kitajima roast hour. image-heavy and spoiler-heavy, naturally.

so ginga blew everyone up and they ran away to a sewer it seems.

honestly that theory makes as much sense as anything else on this booty ass fuckin’ kamen rider show

i was just like...he isn’t

but then he was

swartz: she could step on me in those red pumps and i’d say Thank You

hora: i regret so much right now

uhr: *shonen anime character walking down the street pose*

then over quartzer plays and im starting to feel a little lost because i don’t get to hear about the episode according to woz’s book? hello??

yuko’s still out gettin her spa treatments and shit, god only knows how she got the money for all that, and somehow she never crosses paths with the cops or anyone who recognizes her from the news?? uh

honestly yeah?? a queen deserves to look GOOD. her theme music is eerily sexy, i need an mp3 of it right now

don’t get me wrong, im well aware that swartz is being a suck-up to try and get yuko to help with his plan to seize ginga’s power, but damn im kinda shipping swartz with yuko now too...i mean, he WAS looking at her while doing the sexy ice cream thing last week. what flavor ice cream would yuko be? black cherry chip maybe?

(headcanon: woz tries apple pie ice cream and declares it a crime against both apple pie and ice cream alike--but he still eats the whole coneful)

hora and uhr get ZA WARUDO’D down the stairs by swartz

we were all uhr right here

yeaaaaaah she just doesn’t want to fight ginga

tsukuyomi’s a mood. someone put a band-aid on geiz’s forehead pls

ok woz i get that if you’re looking for a despotic ruler to follow that yuko is likely a better bet than sougo, but you’re missing an important detail: if yuko actually had a shot at becoming queen of everything, she’d already have one of you in tow, and you would most likely hate each other.

...majou means “demon queen” in this case, not “witch”, right?

aaaaaand this...is the moment when yuko started making me very uncomfortable. the way she responds: “yes...i do remember. it’s you.”

and sougo’s face just lights up--my guy, she could so easily be lying. she didn’t say one thing about the band-aid or the playground or anything that’d indicate she’s actually sougo’s crush.

like...if not for the fact that sougo had such a crush on the seifuku girl, it wouldn’t be all that major a memory. it likely wasn’t for the girl in question--just a happy sunny day cheering up a lonely little boy. a beautiful memory, yes...but memories fade.

can someone please explain to me why woz’s characterization is all over the place in kiva arc? are you pro-yuko or anti-yuko, woz? i don’t understand what’s going through his pretty head at all honestly. he gets pretty taciturn in the scenes he’s not inhaling pie, but then at times he seems to think yuko’s cool aaaaaagh i don’t know

junichiro: meowing, just wanted an excuse to cook lots of food

sougo: “yay, uncle’s cooking!”

woz: [deadpan monotone] “yaaaaaaay uncle’s cooking...”

ive had enough of this evil bitch honestly but when she points it’s still Good Shit

ridiculous move name, but also an awesome move name

and turning to stone to heal up while the sun’s clouded over? very cool

denied

i noped so hard at this part. like...i really do feel protective of sougo. yuko doesn’t give a damn about him, she just doesn’t want him to get in her way.

nope. no. nuh uh. you two step away from each other right now.

YOU CANNOT MAKE BABIES WITH AN IDIOT FETUS

ok but in all seriousness, do you want time jackers? because, im calling it now, letting oma zi-o go in raw is how you get time jackers.

yeah im pretty sure miho would’ve kept at it if she’d lived, and yuko...shes not gonna listen to sougo

thank you for the much needed reality check furry man

so she’s a...fu-joshi? 👀

☝☝☝

yuko wears such fabulous shoes

was anyone surprised at this point that yuko was the real killer? i sure wasn’t. not after all the obvious lies.

i love her leitmotif. i need it. where do i download

SHE DIDN’T PROMISE SHIT

hey kids! it’s time for *mashes play button* la-la-la lies! yeah, tell me that you love me! la-la-la-lies! look deep into my eyes! la-la-la-lies! say there’s no one else above me! i’m the king of fools, cuz baby, you’re the queen of actually very hurtful and manipulative lies!

that’s such bullshit

now im the last person to be like “don’t play the dead mommy card”--i practically keep that card in the hello kitty wallet my dead mommy gave me. but i bet you yuko’s mom is just fine (aside from living with the trauma of knowing her daughter’s a murderer and pathological liar).

sougo,,,,,pls

thank you tsukuyomi. god sougo really needs a chaperone with yuko around, he’s way too dumb and thirsty.

GUESS WHO’S BACK. BACK AGAIN. fortunately, it seems swartz and woz have been just standing there watching him for the duration of the rain shower.

lest we forget (because i didn’t screencap it), when zi-o took the brunt of ginga’s attack earlier, it sent him flying. now, that’s a human body, which has some ability to absorb force because it’s mostly pretty soft and fluid. yuko’s manhole cover almost completely absorbed this blast--she barely shifted her weight on impact. is it just that she’s THAT ripped? 

then The Boys rider kick ginga to oblivion. rip ginga, you didn’t have a personality or a character arc, we never even saw you un-transformed--you were just a cool looking plot device with pretty attacks. but for that much, we appreciate you!

swartz looks so pleased with himself. he must not have watched the preview for this episode.

YOINK! gotta love how swartz doesn’t look surprised so much as puzzled.

sure am glad kurowoz took his other self’s advice and kept an eye on swartz

i love it so much how woz just has these magic scarf powers and it needs no explanation? hell, he can fly and time travel and make people fall asleep and he’s super strong too, with no explanation? and he’s the comic relief? ALSO HE’S REALLY HOT? woz is a being to behold honestly

speaking of super strong and really hot, yuko is KILLING IT in that gown. i mean...i guess that’s the intention. killing it. cuz she’s a homicidal maniac. haha.

she’s so good at pointing. yuko could be a prosecutor in shuichi kitaoka: ace attorney. (FUND IT)

yuko throws her manhole cover at the boys (rude!) and next we see geiz holding it. a shame we don’t get to see him snatch it out of midair. or did woz catch it and just hand it to him? we may never know.

zi-o. listen to geiz, zi-o. use the fucking watch. just use the watch, zi-o. you seriously plan on just letting another kiva go on a killing spree? do you not get by now what she’s capable of?

thank goodness zi-o has his retainers to make wise decisions so he doesn’t have to.

please note the placement of mars on ginga woz’s suit. very important.

I Love You

lmao

WHERE IS YOUR MANHOLE COVER NOW

my favorite character gets a beautiful rainbow final attack. i feel so blessed.

i mean...protecting all mankind would probably include protecting them from people like yuko. just sayin.

is it bad of me that my immediate thought right then was “at least woz’s attack wasn’t what did her in.”

this shot, especially in the context of the church, definitely gave me pieta vibes--albeit reversed somewhat.

weirdly enough, woz does an outro instead of an intro this episode.

at this point while watching, i said to shylax “you know what this calls for? pie!” but before i could finish--

--PIE! cmon sougo, it’s time to gobble up your feelings!

fucking woz, i swear, you have pie in your mouth and pie in your right hand and pie on your FACE and when your overlord expresses how miserable he is you just go for his uneaten pie with your empty hand.

...is it normal to eat pie like this in japan? because the only times i’ve seen americans make this much of a mess eating pie is when they’re toddlers.

oh hey, what do you know? looks like sougo’s first love wasn’t a violent crazy person after all. she also wasn’t yuko.

sougo’s just an idiot who will mistake any older woman who rubs him on the chin and calls him cute for his sailor girl.

previews!

i blame joshua kiryu

how eloquently this one line sums up not only kamen rider zi-o but kamen rider decade as well. that’s it, that’s the show. that’s the clusterfuck we will inevitably get whenever toei decides to make a kamen rider crossover.

LOOK AT THIS! TSUKUYOMI REMEMBERED SOMETHING! who is she smiling at? is it her dad? is that swartz behind her?! omg baby tsukuyomi is so CUTE!

“a team”. uh huh. is that what the youth are calling it these days? cuz when i was a wee lass, i believe they called it “fucking”.

so what have we learned this week?

very little about ginga

sougo does not remember faces all that well

before sougo dates ANYONE that person should be fully vetted by junichiro, geiz, tsukuyomi, and woz because CLEARLY HE CANNOT SAFELY CHOOSE A PARTNER FOR HIMSELF

i still really like yuko as a character, if not as a person. same as i enjoy junji ito manga, but would be very upset if most of it happened in real life.

swartz loves a woman who can kick his ass

what the fuck are manhole covers in this world

i can’t wait for baby tsukuyomi flashbacks! that, and more tsukasa.

[margridarnauds]

I actually don't know *exactly* what you ship but 1 - 5 and 9 - 13 for whatever your 1789 ship is since I haven't seen it yet and don't know much about it, I jsut like soft HCs

HARD SAME on That Soft Shit

So, Royal Officer Who is Also a Part Time Parrot/Peasant Whose Father He Tried To Arrest For Tax Evasion (and who was killed in the attempt WOOPS)

As a word of warning: Canon has been bent forward, backward, and sideways to support this one, since at least 98% of the 1789 fandom is dedicated to nothing if not figuring out new and inventive ways of twisting canon to our own diabolical ends. 

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Ronan. Always Ronan. Probably via tackling. Like, it’s 100% canon to the Takarazuka that this is how he kisses: 

There is no helping this boy. He might think that he’s being smooth and suave, but no. There is NOTHING smooth or suave about this disaster. The good news is that there’s nothing ELSE that could get Lazare to take the inevitable hint. Things Lazare de Peyrol is good at: Strategy, shooting things, giving the 18th century equivalent equivalent of powerpoint presentations on how to shoot unarmed civilians, stomping in place. 

Things Lazare de Peyrol is NOT good at: Actually thinking that the peasant boy he’s been awkwardly trying to flirt with is interested in him sans a 20 page paper with citations. 

“The fuck is this? The fuck are you?” (Also: I REALLY need to remake this gif one day but until then, enjoy it in all its low-quality splendor.)

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Both of them have their reasons to be insecure. I think that both of them, on some level, always think that the other will choose their side over them. On one hand, Lazare feels really, really insecure that Ronan will eventually choose the other revolutionaries, especially since they all have more in common and Ronan spends more time with them. And, on some level, I think that Lazare is fully aware of what he did to Ronan’s father, what he’s continuing to do with the Revolution, and so there’s this kind of BAFFLEMENT that Ronan loves him. And, meanwhile...there’s not a LOT that’s mentioned about Lazare’s upbringing in-canon, of all of the main cast, he tends to get very little in the way of what we KNOW about him, a lot of the speculation that I do is pure projection/speculation. I do think, however, that there’s enough evidence, at least in the French version, to indicate that Laz was pushed into the army from a young age by his family. Again, not CANON canon, but there are a few lyrics that could indicate it, and there were a LOT of aristocratic officers at this time (Off the top of my head, I can bring up Lafayette and the Marquis de Sade), who got into it when they were about 14. So, Lazare’s never really HAD the stability of a home/family life, and I think there’s this constant dread that it will be pulled out from under him. 

 Meanwhile, it has to sink into Ronan’s mind at some point that Lazare, unlike him, actually CARES about what society thinks. Lazare isn’t interested in creating a brand new, shiny world, he wants to succeed in the old one. And that means keeping things behind closed doors, marrying someone with a comparable pedigree, doing what’s expected.

As far as what makes them feel better...Ronan’s continued presence is a biggie for Lazare. Like, there’s that worry that one day, Lazare will come back to an empty room because Ronan’s changed his mind, but nope, there’s his boyfriend, sprawled out on their bed, and as soon as he gets in, Ronan’s right there, pulling him closer. And also, even though Lazare gets IRRITATED with Ronan’s “Brave New World” speech from time to time, given that Ronan seems blissfully oblivious to what is going to HAPPEN with that Brave New World (namely, the extinction of everything that Lazare’s known), there’s SOMETHING about the fact that Ronan always mentions that BOTH of them will be there. Ronan started the Revolution for the purpose of revenge against him, but he’s going to end it so that he can create a world where they’ll be together. And despite everything else, that’s oddly soothing, to the extent that sometimes (just sometimes), Lazare likes to imagine what that new world could be like. 

Meanwhile, I think that Ronan sometimes is completely taken aback when Laz DOES go that extra mile and shows affection. Like, they’ll be having dinner together and he’ll catch Laz doing a half-smile at something he’s just said, or Laz will take his hand and press a kiss to it, and it’s suddenly like “Oh. Oh. He really does. Like me, doesn’t he?” And it’s moments like those where he realizes that Lazare really IS committed to this one, he just has a different way of showing it. 

3. Who is the most romantic?

Popular belief would say Ronan, because he’s the one who’s most outwardly expressive. He’s the one who tends to initiate cuddling, he’s the one most likely to regularly say “I love you,” etc. BUT! Lazare is the one most likely to remember some minor detail that Ronan mentioned once just so he could surprise him with a present, he’s the one who tends to do more quiet, intimate gestures (hand kissing, forehead kisses, etc.) and he’s the one who tends to look at Ronan like he hung the stars when he thinks Ronan’s not looking. And it’s more dramatic coming from Lazare because he ISN’T a natural romantic, he tends to think this kind of thing through. 

I just realized there’s a very distressing lack of French 1789 gifs on my computer and that needs to be amended soon, but THIS? Is how Laz tends to look at Ronan in the Takarazuka. (Ignoring the caption since I added it. Even if it’s accurate.)

Keeping in mind that THIS tends to be his default expression: 

“Hello, my name is Lazare and I’m dead inside. I have three emotions, one of which is ‘homicide,’ another of which is called ‘Ronan Mazurier,’ and another of which is called ‘I haven’t had enough morning coffee for this.’” 

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Ronan. He’s always trying to figure out ways to touch or cuddle with Lazare. If he could, he would totally sit on Laz’s lap all the time in lieu of a semi-decent seat. He tends to “accidentally” manage to get his hands underneath Lazare’s shirt when they’re cuddling or just...tugs him closer. It’s not like Ronan’s ever really been in a situation where privacy was the NORM, since he’s a peasant. You have to figure that all his life, he’s slept at least three to a bed.

Lazare will never admit how much he actually loves it, because he’s been so touch starved all his life that he NEEDS that. 

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

With Ronan “most embarrassing” is a very interesting term, since he’s.....Ronan. He’s the EMBODIMENT of “disaster, chaotic gay/bi.” There’s “That time that the illegal press that he was helping run was raided by the police, causing Ronan to go through the sewers. Shortly thereafter, he *mysteriously* gets a new coat.” There’s “That Time Ronan Initiated a Dance Off In Front of Laz’s Boss, Who Happens to be the King of France.” There’s the first time they met, where Ronan more or less called Laz a bitch to his face and got into a fist fight with him. And then, there’s That One Time Ronan got called out by the Queen’s favorite governess and shipped off to the Bastille. Bonus for the Takarazuka and Toho productions, where he’s ALSO hella drunk/hungover at the time. Modern AU Ronan would get hurt after slipping on the floor while dancing to Baby Shark (dododododo). There’s just...never a dull moment. 

Meanwhile, it’s a longstanding headcanon of mine that Lazare tends to pace back and forth. This is not in and of itself embarrassing, I say as a chronic pacer. What IS is when his boyfriend catches him mid-pace, making gestures and facial expressions to go along with an imaginary conversation in order to prepare for an audience that he’s not had yet. 

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

Ronan: Baby Shark (Dodododododo) (No, I’m never NOT going to be on my bullshit with this one) (Lazare regrets allowing him it, but there’s very little that Lazare can ultimately deny him), he can’t read in-canon but in a modern AU I GUESS something that’s

Lazare: Two Steps From Hell - Nero 

(Historically, if it was at all possible, it would be a duel between Richard mon Roi and Ah, Ça Ira)

Neither one of them’s a big reader, but I can see Lazare taking along, like, a copy of the military regulations. And maybe a copy of Pamela if he’s worried he might suffer from insomnia. And honestly, in a modern AU, I can see Ronan taking, like, a pulpy gay romance novel about an innocent peasant being seduced by a wicked count. He does dramatic readings of the steamiest bits. Lazare rolls his eyes and turns over in their shared hammock. 

Luxury items: Lazare NEEDS his work computer. He doesn’t even need wifi, even though it’s obviously IMPORTANT; he just needs to be able to do his work. There are times Ronan thinks Laz would MARRY his work computer if he could. Also he and Ronan can BOTH agree that water filtration is essential. They are NOT going to die of something easily preventable.  

11. What do they hide from one another?

Lazare suffers from traumatic nightmares, and it’s something that he REALLY does not like to talk about, at all, mainly because he considers them to be humiliating. (Just like he really doesn’t like to talk about what CAUSED aforementioned nightmares.) Ronan eventually is able to coax him to talk about it and can usually get him to go back to sleep. 

Ronan has been known to tone down just how bad he’s hurt, either intentionally or unintentionally (”I’M ALRIGHT. Oh fuck, I’m not alright. Fuck.”) He tends to call Lazare out on “mother-henning” him when he thinks that Ronan has so much as a scratch on him. (Which is ironic given that we KNOW that if Ronan ever found out that Lazare got hurt, he would make over him just as much if not more.)12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Suddenly the stakes become REAL. Like, the Revolution VS the Monarchy conflict really starts to come into play, as they both start to kind of realize that one of them might not survive this. Suddenly, Ronan’s little tendency to get himself into trouble is something that causes a HUGE amount of anxiety for Lazare, because suddenly Lazare realizes that if Ronan doesn’t come back, he won’t be nearly as fine with that as he’d been pretending. Because Lazare’s life rests on stability, and somehow, without him realizing, Ronan had become that source of stability. And suddenly, Lazare’s devotion to the Royal Family becomes even more frustrating for Ronan, as he has to think that every time there’s violence in the street, “That could be Lazare.” He started with the Revolution in order to get revenge on Lazare for he did to his father (”Hello, my name is Ronan Mazurier. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”) but then when the situation FINALLY turns around so that Lazare could actually go down, there’s this sudden “OH SHIT.”

13. When do they realise they should get together?

I mean, in the French version of Maniaque, there’s a Very, Very Interesting place where Lazare goes from using the “vous” form of you on Ronan, indicating a high degree of formality and separation that’s almost TOO polite given their social statuses and that then switches over to a “tu” form. Shortly after male dancers dance homoerotically on stage. Because it’s a French musical. So, in terms of the canon material...........I would say that’s a very good indicator. I kind of like the idea of Maniaque as a back and forth between the two of them, with both of them kind of getting under each other’s skin with their responses. It’s fairly common to read it as Lazare-As-Interrogator, Ronan-As-Plucky-Revolutionary reading, and that’s probably what the writers INTENDED, but...it’s so much more fun imagining them both coming in with this high level of tension and mutual hatred and ending it on a much more uncertain territory. 

Personally, since we’re dealing with HEADCANONS though, I actually tend to put them actually realizing that there’s SOMETHING when Ronan arrives at the printing shop and no one even ASKS about where he’s been for the last month and then he has that argument with the Revolutionary Bros. Like, as a warning, this is totally outside the realm of any canon evidence, but I tend to see Lazare as very, very stressed when Ronan escapes and in my own AUs he totally helps him escape because it’s the only reasonable explanation for where the FUCK Ronan’s been staying all this time, and Ronan is at this point where his faith in the Revolution’s at an all-time low, and he realizes that Lazare is the only one who really...CARED about whether something happened to him.