#do i just casually explain

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[makingshortstorieslong]

A little zine about how I (still) have trouble saying the word aromantic.

I've never made a zine before! I was inspired to try it because @queerliblib mentioned a zine making night in an email. That hasn't happened yet - its on June 26th - but once I had the idea, I couldn't wait, lol. It was nice to put something down on paper and have the finished product to hold onto.

Image descriptions under the cut:

Page 1: Three tiny speech bubbles say: "Do you have a bf? Do you like anyone? What's your type?" A big speech bubble says, "Oh, I don't date." The big speech bubble comes from a heart colored like the aromantic flag. 

Page 2 says: I could say: "Actually, I'm... ...aromantic." ...aro." ...aromantic asexual." ...aroace."

Page 3 says: But there are a few problems:

aromantic: Has been misheard as "A Romantic".

aro: Opaque if you don't already know the term.

aromantic asexual: A mouthful! And sounds...scientific?

aroace: shares The Big Problem: it may require a vocabulary lesson!

Page 4 says: It doesn't actually come up too often! Which is fine. My coworkers, my neighbors, and strangers don't need to know I'm aroace. I just wish I could say it sincerely when I do want someone to know. 

Page 5 says: I always have to smile - laugh - hedge. "Oh, well, actually, I'm kind of like, aromantic? Basically just not interested."

It's been more than 8 years since the first time I said it out loud!  I'm certain of it, but I still can't say it like I mean it!

Page 6 says: The most memorable time I said "I don't date" the guy I was talking to asked "Oh are you asexual?" and I said "Yeah, actually. And aromantic." And we moved on.

That was nice. 

Page 7 says:

The times I've lead with "I'm aromantic" -- well, there's only one I really remember:

"I didn't use to think that was a real thing." 

Other than that time -- even if I use the word, I always explain what it means first! 

Page 8 says: I just hope that one day I'll feel like I can say, simply, confidently: "I'm aromantic" and "I'm aroace."

The words "I'm aromantic" are big and dark green, the color of the top stripe of the aromantic flag. The words "I'm aroace" are big and bright orange, the color of the top stripe of the aroace flag. Three hearts below the words are colored to look like the aromantic, aroace, and asexual flags. 

[froschli96]

Can we talk about how Kadar says to Altaïr in the beginning: "An excellent kill! Fortune favors your blade!", and then in the bureau with Malik, before Altaïr goes to meet "Robert", Malik says to him "Fortune favor your blade, brother."

And then THAT is what prompts Altaïr to actually finally apologize to him?

(It's these little things in the writing that make me go feral! Another one of my favorite parts is Altaïr and Malik calling each other "Dai" - Altaïr first calls Malik Dai before doing investigations during the Majd Addin mission, showing his character growth in how he's willing to humble himself in front of Malik by basically acknowledging him as a superior of sorts (he's even THANKING him here for his help - compare this to "I am your superior, in both title and ability! You should know better than to question me!"), and then when they last talk before Altaïr goes to confront Al Mualim, Malik calls HIM Dai, in turn acknowledging his growth 😭 I just... I love them so much, I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.)

[swagstar]

loads of exit hcs. mostly the physical changes that'd result after staying in it for a prolonged time (i like to think its like a weird alien place where alien shit happens. like the exitors having 4 or blue themed bodily changes)

[ysaefinn]

val my pookie princess.... can i have some knight!sugu x royal!reader thoughts where reader needs to sleep please

I love how your asks are the same flavor around this time 😭😭

Im gonna sound like a broken record but i do think about this a lot actually <///3 THESE TWO!!!! Royal!reader is pretty restless bcuz they actually do pick up their father's slack + plan their own evil schemes (no spoilers) AND IN TURN NEGLECT THEIR HEALTH A LOT AND SUGURU ISN'T STANDING FOR THAT!!!!!

(For context you do sneak him into your chambers at njght cuddle :>)

The thing with these two is that it takes suguru a WHILE to be able to freely pester you to sleep bcuz there's a HUGE power imbalance as well as a lot of respect.

It starts off with gentle persuasion "your highness, would like to join me for a cup of tea?" You can't deny him especially if you barely see him anymore <//3 while you're nursing your tea cup he makes sure to pull you closer, trace your knuckles gently before giving them a little peck, might even be bold enough to tuck some loose strands behind your hair and let his fingers linger there a little longer, he loves to stroke your ego as well 💀💀 "you work so hard..you should think about your health a little more, at least for me? To keep my mind at ease." Sneaky....sneaky sneaky sneaky

HE DOES EVENTUALLY BECOME BOLDER THO!!!!! the gentle scolding starts 😭😭. He completely engulfs you from behind, inhales the scent of your hair before nuzzling his cheek against the crown of your head and whispering a little "Come on, work's not going anywhere, and i can't sleep without you.." will flat out resort to throwing you over his shoulder if you look like you're on the verge of death and still refuse to listen to him 😭😭

HE IS VERY MUCH PRONE TO CALLING YOU HIS LITTLE PRINCESS BY THE WAY but it's still gender neutral and if you don't like that he won't push his luck lol

[literallyjusttoa]

I am a “Meg and Apollo’s master/servant bond evolved into something a lot like an empathy link post their dip into Chaos in TDP” truther and I will be till the day I die.

[bisexualseraphim]

Also, I refuse to entertain the discourse as to whether acespec people are “oppressed” or not, but I will say it’s really fucking lonely — especially if you fall somewhere on the spectrum that’s a little more unconventional.

I’ve discussed many times before how I feel absolutely no attraction whatsoever except towards my lovely partner. I went through the phases queer men tend to: exploring many types of pornography and cruising on Grindr. I really tried, and none of it has ever done anything for me. It wasn’t until I started having sex with my partner that I realised, ohhh, so that’s how most people feel. And even then, enjoying sex with him is far more of an intimacy thing than the actual physical sensations. I do not fantasise about other people or consume porn. There is only him.

And yet when I’ve spoken about this in acespec spaces, I’m still treated as some sort of weirdo who doesn’t belong. I’ve literally been told many times that I can’t be demisexual because demis will still fantasise and consume porn (although that doesn’t line up with my understanding that demis require a close bond to feel sexual attraction, but never mind), and I’ve even been accused of having some weird internalised Christian puritan shit going on because I genuinely cannot comprehend ever looking at or thinking about someone in that way who isn’t my man. As if anything about this is a choice for me and it is offensive to them somehow. As if only feeling attraction to one person is like… “worse” than never feeling any attraction at all. I’ve never once shamed others for how they experience sex and sexual attraction and never would, yet people act like that’s what I’m inherently doing just by speaking about my own experiences.

So no, I won’t say whether acespec people are “oppressed” or not because honestly, when is this shit ever going to come up in conversation and ever be that relevant? But the fact I don’t feel I can talk about it even amongst other queer people, even amongst others in the acespec community, kind of speaks for itself.

Being a queer man who can’t relate to all the stereotypes and anecdotes about enjoying casual sex is one type of loneliness. Being a queer acespec man who can’t even relate to most others in the acespec community is another. I can never win, and either way I do not fit in.

[ragnarockz]

Agnes thinking if she's actually wanted or if the words that come out of Vidal's mouth are just pretty

Is this attraction? Is this lust? Is this perversion? Am I some sort of freak project? Some dare? Some objectification? Some kink? Some butt end of a joke I'm not part of?

She goes through huge periods of doubt. Periods where Vidal can be doing or saying the hottest thing imaginable that would make Agnes sexually advance without any thought to it, and instead, she feels like ice

A big disgusting weight in her chest of everything before and everything that could be

She believes she doesn't deserve it. Vidal is just saying things because she expects her to, Vidal is just playing a one-sided game. It'll all fizz out eventually, die out at the end and this was just a brief moment of sexual gratification and bliss

This is the only time Vidal budges Agnes to tell her what's wrong because it gets dark and distant and there's something so deep eating Agnes from the inside it scares Vidal

It's like pulling teeth, trying to get to the root of the problem but she gets there, eventually- a big mess of the past that Agnes can't let go of because if she does, that means she's vulnerable and if she's vulnerable, Vidal can carve a little space inside of her, too

[tvckerwash]

I have a hc that post beating the crap out of his CO but prior to being demoted back to corporal, wash spent like a week as an ODST drill sergeant as a 'punishment' until the higher ups finished their investigation, and that's the only real experience training others he has going into chorus.

so basically, wash tortured tucker and the combined armies of chorus with the brutal training used to root out the people who couldn't make the cut as an ODST, which only makes the scene where the kids jump grif even funnier than it already is.

[sambrosiac]

not now sweetie, mommy's defending sam winchester in the tiktok comments

[ssongsboo]

genuine q does everybody hate dirty talk in their native language as much as germans do bc i dont know a SINGLE person whos fine w it so like? especially ppl who only speak one language?? eSPECIALLY ESPECIALLY ppl who only speak english?

[torchickentacos]

heartbreaking: family members keep asking you about someone you amicably-but-awkwardly do not talk to much anymore

[rumoredtoexist]

it’s so insane having someone that genuinely wants to hang out and spend time with you after so many people just didn’t care to put in the effort in your past relationships and was constantly putting you off for something else

[braceletofteeth]

How about 1, 3, 5, 7, 8 9 & 11 for the ❤️🧡💛bl ask game 💚💙💜 (this might be my sneaky way to get bl recs)

1. Favorite Main Couple

Hira & Kiyoi, from Utsukushii Kare/My Beautiful Man.

For one, I really like these characters, not only for what they are like as a couple, but for them. For their personalities, their thought process, the way they talk and feel about things. That already sets them apart from other couples that I've enjoyed as far as their romance went, but didn't get invested in (both!) the characters themselves—and I noticed there seems to be a correlation between how much I like the characters involved, and how much I care about their romance.

But if we're talking about them as a couple, I think what I like the most about their relationship is the equilibrium. The idea that Hira and Kiyoi are perfectly balanced.

Aaaand I know there is definitely at least one person who have watched the show going “WHAT” right now, but let me explain first 🤚🧐

Hira loves in a way that is very, very specific, and Kiyoi wants to be loved in a certain way that is also very specific. The love that Hira has to give, not everyone can handle; the love that Kiyoi would like to receive, not everyone can give to him. The fact that they meet and somehow find in each other exactly what they craved for?

That's the stuff miracles (and OTPs) are made of.

3. Favorite Main Character

Hey, have I ever told you the story of How I Met My Blorbo? No? Well. Would you believe it. It was actually through a “Most Whipped” poll from the infamous @ bl-bracket.

It was the second round, and he was winning against Kurosawa, from Cherry Magic—someone whose whippedness I was already familiar with, and thought would be pretty hard to beat. I didn't know who this Hira guy was, or what he could have possibly done or be like to be considered more whipped than Kurosawa. So, already intriguing. I went back to check the first round. On that round, he had won by an even larger margin. It was almost ridiculous. Taking a look at the comments left in the reblogs of both rounds, who I got described back to me was a boy who was so whipped it was considered weird and probably unhealthy. Huh! Very intriguing indeed. By then, I was practically sold.

It was only a surface level of interest at first, just because I think Being Whipped is one of the best character traits for someone in a romantic relationship to have; as well as being very intense, and even a little (or a lot) weird about it.

But then, I actually met him and *breathes in* God, there's so much to say about Hira. I fear I'll never get to say it all... but let me summarize to the best of my abilities (I'll try to keep it short).

The Hira that we're first introduced to is a resigned boy who feels inadequate and rejected by his school peers. His response to that unwelcome environment is that he, himself, doesn't wanna be a part of the community—he'd rather keep to himself, or “be invisible”, as he puts it. He finds comfort in his solitude, or at least he tries to.

He has a hobby—photography—but he feels like he just does that for the sake of doing it. There's nothing in particular that he'd like to photograph. He's just going with the flow. All he does in life, it seems, is go with the flow, letting the tides take him forward.

Essentially, he's lacking companionship and a purpose, and that's a very frustrating way to live. When you just lack one or the other, you can still find some fulfillment in what you have. But when you lack both? It gets really hard to think of your life—or yourself—as valuable.

So when he meets Kiyoi Sou, and decides to dedicate his whole being to him—body, mind, and soul? I get it. I really do. Because the acts of service give him purpose, a reason to be, and it also establishes a connection to somebody, even if it's unilateral. It's a chance to be present, but somewhat still at the margins, never the one at the center of attention.

Hira believes he's unworthy of attention. He stays so much in his own head, he can't see his own qualities. And mind you, he has plenty of qualities! For example: Hira is book smart (see: finishes his homework much faster/with less difficulty than the others), strong (see: no less than three people are needed to hold him back when he's defending Kiyoi with his own hands), competent (see: learning how to do all house chores by himself), talented (see: admired by the other members of his uni's Photography Club), and handsome too (see: gif above people who had never met him before commenting on his looks and even hitting on him as soon he takes his hair off his face and dresses in an outfit that complements his body). Well-mannered, loyal, honest to a fault. And cute, in an awkward way. And funny, even when he has no intention to be.

But, of course, he has some flaws too, like... *frowns*... *frown deepens*... It will come to me... *staring at the wall*... Oh. He usually won't communicate how he feels unless someone else prompts him to. Which can be frustrating and cause problems... but that's on everyone else *shrugs*

(I jest like I'm not one of the people who have felt frustrated because of this...)

As much as he might struggle to communicate how he feels verbally, though, usually his face will give him away. Be it showing his displeasure, or his awe. And no one shows awe like Hira Kazunari. Like, I don't know how the actor, Riku, does that, but you can see literal stars in his eyes sometimes. “Oh, you mean heart eyes?” nononono ☝ I've seen heart eyes. That's not it. It's not the look you give a lover—it's the look of someone who travels back in time and watches the universe born.

Which sounds normal, right? No! No, it doesn't! Now you get what I mean about this guy?! How can someone be so passionate about anything? He's so... So. He's so much. He found what he wanted to dedicate his life to, and he never once doubted the conviction he has in its merit. That was it for him. The fucking big bang, over and over, forever. Nothing can compare to that, and his life is fulfilled as long as he gets to keep experiencing it.

... Anyways. He's a fascinating little guy, and a kindred spirit to me. I love watching him discover that he's capable and deserving of being and having much more than he assumes he is—despite his every attempt to deny himself so.

5. Favorite Female Character

So, I already answered this one time, but allow me to take this awesome opportunity to mention two other female characters that haunt me to this day—the sisters from Manner of Death, Janejira and Rungtiwa.

Now, if you're not familiar with them—basically, one is one of the most disgusting people you'll ever have the displeasure of knowing, and the other did nothing wrong in her life and suffered more than Jesus.

Jane, although not being there in person for most of it, is a fundamental piece to the narrative. She's what brings everything together. You could almost say MOD is her story—about discovering what happened to her and why that happened to her; her motivations, and the conclusion to her mission.

Honestly, I don't think I could do half of what Jane had the courage to attempt. Except for Tan and Dr. Bunn, it seemed like the whole world was against her. Powerful, terrifying people, as well as people close to her. People who should have been on her side no matter what, were the ones who hurt her the most. That in itself could break anybody's spirit. But she kept going. When the ones who should have defended her weren't there, she fought back for herself. She said she would do it herself. She would put an end to it herself; finally take back the control of her story.

When I think about all the rage, horror, and hurt that woman must have felt, I just about go mad all over again.

And Rungtiwa. When I talk about Jane's older sister, it might sound like I hate her. And I do. She's the character I hate the most out of every universe. The day she has no more haters, I'm no longer in this world.

But, as it is inevitable, the more you hate somebody, the longer they stay with you. I'll never forget about Rungtiwa, or how deep run her greed. What it led her to do, and to become.

7. Top 5 BL

Utsukushii Kare

A few months ago, I read a list in here, on this very website. Someone had asked for recommendations on High School Japanese BLs, and the kind owner of the blog made a list of their favorites. There were about five of them, it wasn't a long list, but Utsukushii Kare was listed as one of them.

That was very weird.

No, I don't disagree with the author of the post. Utsukushii Kare is good, and should be recommended. There was nothing wrong with that list, technically. But it still felt weird, to see Utsukushii Kare there, among the others. And it was then I realized that, before that moment, I had never, ever, ever thought of this drama as a High School Love Story.

I had never thought of it as a story that had a school as a setting, and it wasn't just because they were only high school students for half of it. I didn't consider Hira's house as the setting either, nor any of the other locations they passed through. Not even the city they lived in. In my head, to call those places the setting of their story was technically correct, but also completely wrong.

“Well, Brace, where did you consider the story was set, then?” Hira & Kiyoi's World, of course?????? What kind of stupid ques-

Listen. Even when they were at school, in many of those scenes, it was just the two of them. When they were outside, too, they were alone together, in most of them. And when not, more often than not, they would be looking at each other, would be thinking of each other. It was like nothing else mattered... more.

This drama helped me give name to my favorite trope of all time, which I now call A World of Two. Well, it's more like a dynamic than a trope, and one day I'd like to talk about it more extensively in a separate post, because there are specific causes and possible collateral effects to it—but it's basically when two people make each other the center of their worlds.

When they come together, it's like they are in a separated space and time from everything. It's a whole world in a single space, that they share together, and it can only exist because of the connection they have. Some kind of mutual understanding or attachment that makes the ones outside of it, strangers, but the two inside, natives; from the same land, the same home.

(In that space, during that time, they feel more like themselves than in any other.)

Never Let Me Go

I struggle to find words to describe or something to compare it to... It's like...

A movie from the 1970's that is set in the 2020's, except the vibes are not futuristic, but of an old play, a tale as old as time. A modern fairytale. A dream that you wake up from and it's like you just came back from an adventure; all your memories of it have a glint to them, the colors in tones you have never seen, your heart longing for another world, the feeling of plenitude. A melody that sounds grand in a ball room, but intimate in your home, when you play it for a loved one. A blend of summer love and 72 years of marriage. Butterflies in your stomach. Heaven on Earth.

The more I talk, the more pretentious I sound (although it's all true). So let me try to keep it simple: I like the classics. I like when people join forces to fight against the world together, overcoming obstacles and the miserable situation they are in. But I also think there should be just as much—actually, even more—joy, love, and hope, in between all that. To show what they could be, what could be theirs, if it wasn't for all The Horrors. I believe that's what makes the most satisfying Happy Endings.

... There's also something about how Palm and Nuengdiao would get lost in each other's eyes. The recognition there—a conversation between their souls, that no one else was privy to.

Strangers From Hell

Still funny that the devil fell in love with him and Yoon Jongwoo tried to convince you he didn't understand why, but he was lying the entire time.

Also my doctor said I can call BL whatever I want, because of the uniquely acute vision I have (he's a dentist).

KinnPorsche

[Little House on the Hill starts playing on the background]

A part of me stayed at that safehouse. It may never find a way out.

... Also. Maybe some people look back now and are able to think KinnPorsche was not that big of a deal, but to me, she still remains That Bitch™.

The cinematography, those locations—they are severed in my brain. Most of the songs from the soundtrack were not made with it in mind, but it was almost like they were. I still listen to many of them. And I can still repeat many of those lines of dialogue from memory—a reflection of how many times I had them repeated to me because of how impactful or iconic they were for us. The storyline was engaging, every week. Both the protagonists and antagonists were entertaining. There were many characters, and they made us remember them all. Even those who were only there briefly. And all three main couples were good—you'd get hurt no matter what your preference was :D

And all the while, great action scenes, plus some other surprises no one had ever seen on television anywhere.

It was the most thrilling experience I've had watching anything, and sometimes I fear I'll never get to feel that again.

Love in the Air

Everyone puts different values on different things. LITA might be a bit rough around the edges, but both Love Storm and Love Sky are comfort zones to me.

Their stories are, at their core, about trust. And you know what? It's easy to make a story about that in which one of the characters doesn't trust easily and the other is this admirable, dependable person... but that's not quite how it goes here.

In LITA, the people (Rain / Prapai) who need to earn another's (Payu / Sky) trust, don't exactly inspire that trust in the beginning. In fact, they do the opposite, and need to work for it, to become a version of themselves that they, too, come to believe that their partners deserve.

Sky's and Payu's trust issues come from past relationships that went wrong, but in very different ways. Sky was in an abusive relationship, and discarded when it was over; Payu was rejected for his personality, his overbearing tendencies. Those experiences led them to not open up their hearts as easily again.

On the other end of this, there are Prapai and Rain, and they are... they are a mess, it's the word. They are so lost, at their respective starting points. But Rain, at least, receives instructions: Payu wants him to succeed, if Payu—the way he is—is what Rain decides is right for him. If he's serious about it. And despite the initial mishaps, it's always clear that they are a perfect match, singing to each other's tune.

There was no such clarity, however, when it came to Prapai and Sky. In fact, when people were first introduced to Prapai, a lot of us thought that he was... inadequate. That he was not right for Sky, and he would not care for him the way Sky deserved.

And then, what happened? We cried. We bawled our eyes out, because of how much he genuinely fucking cared. And some of us (me), I dare say, have never recovered from that.

8. First BL

The first BL drama I've watched was Where Your Eyes Linger, back when it was released in 2020. A friend thought I'd be interested in seeing history being made, so she made us watch together. At the time, I was not into asian dramas yet—the few I watched every now and then were because of my friend.

Rewatching it recently, I realized WYEL has a ship dynamic that I usually enjoy a lot, and some well done emotional scenes—which, for some reason, didn't have an effect on me the first time, because I don't remember the story lingering with me after. Probably because it was short and passed too fast, if I had to guess? But I can appreciate it for what it is more, now.

It took three more BLs till I became a regular watcher—I watched Addicted (stumbling upon it by chance on youtube) and Semantic Error (presented by the aforementioned friend), before watching Manner of Death, a story so dope that it made me fold and search for more BLs on purpose, just in case there were other stories that good out there. It was the first step into a world of possibilities I was previously unaware of, and I have found I quite like it in here.

9. Currently Watching

Takara no Vidro [4/10]

Perfect 10 Liners [2/24]

The Eighth Sense [1/10]

HIStory 3: Trapped [17/20]

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan [1/10]

I'm using colors to represent how I'm currently feeling about them:

Pink: positive feelings

Blue: neutral feelings

Orange: negative feelings

Right now I don't really have the energy to binge, so it's been a slow catch up with my watchlist. I've been trying to watch BLs from different countries (because this year most have been Thai) and dramas in general of other genres (because most of what I've watched this year was romance). Also more GLs (there is a great diversity of them available right now!). But yes, as for BLs, only the ones listed.

Oh, but I'm also waiting for new episodes of a korean BL animation called Shutline...? Which is more smut than plot, to be completely frank, but I started watching because the main characters are a mechanic and a gang member whose job includes killing people (that might sound familiar 😬). Apparently, “I'm watching because there's a mechanic” is the new “I'm watching because there's a dentist” for me (and only God knows the places that will take me).

11. Most Anticipated Upcoming BL

It might come as a surprise, as I've been very tight-lipped, lowkey, and downright secretive about it... but it's the (alleged) romcom series The Heart Killers.

I just think “approaching a dangerous person with ulterior motives without getting caught” is an intriguing premise, you know? Keeping elaborated secrets is a difficult task, especially when it might cost your life; worse when you lose the plot and get enticed by your own lies, the fantasy you created for someone else, and might end up breaking your own heart in the process.

That's a ride that is bound to be full of ups and downs, and I need to know how high they're gonna take us before the drop, as well as how rough or delicate will be the pick up later.

I'm also just really excited to meet these characters and see how their dynamics will play out. I'm compelled by Bison's longing for freedom; allured by Kant's charms; amused by Style's shamelessness; and, last but not least, possessed by a mighty need to see someone reach inside Fadel's armor and pull at a loose thread until he falls apart.

I just think this one is gonna be fun. :)

(tried to make it sound like the normal kind of excitement, but I don't wanna lie to you, mate... I'm obsessed with this thing. It's been pretty bad. Like, really bad. It's been like that for six months, and it has only gotten worse... Don't try to help me, though!! 😩🖐 At this point, the only antidote is the release of the series...)

—

I don't know how useful this could have been as for recs, since most of the shows I mentioned are no strangers to this blog's page, but... this gave me an opportunity to reflect on them, and I enjoy doing that. So thank you for picking these numbers for me! 😊💛

See you o/

[puthyflapps]

Has Clarke ever walked in on fuck boy Lexa getting sucked off by some girl the locker room or at a party? (Let's say Clarke has been in a relationship since before meeting Lexa in this scenario so while she's been interested she hasn't ended her relationship for this fuck boy)

Well the gag is, the two of them have been best friends since they were in diapers and they’ve also been in love with each other for as long as they can remember. The issue is that neither of them have ever been brave enough to fully cross that line; afraid of rejection and/or ruining the friendship they share. As the pair grew older they each dealt with this simmering tension in their own way. Lexa threw herself head first into the hormone filled waters of the high school social scene whereas Clarke chose what she perceived to be a much simpler path…flat out denial.

So to answer your question, has Clarke ever walked in on Lexa and another girl, the answer is an easy and resounding yes. The unfortunate part is that it’s happened several times and each time Clarke has accidentally walked in on some girl down on her knees between Lexa’s legs or caught sight of an explicit text message flashing across Lexa’s phone screen, it’s come at the worst time possible. Every time Clarke finds herself thinking that she might finally take a chance on the girl she’s loved her entire life along comes a painful reminder that Lexa would never give up her extracurricular activities to be with one girl.

And poor, idiot Lexa who’s convinced herself that if she can’t have the one girl she truly wants most in this world then the next best thing is to simply have every girl, is so oblivious to this trail of chaos she leaves in her wake. The most egregious example being the night of Octavia’s 18th birthday party when unbeknownst to Lexa, Clarke had walked in on her and on-again-off-again girlfriend Costia getting reacquainted in the Blake’s pool house.

Clarke wasn’t entirely sure what about that night felt so different or why she had the sudden urge to abandon this cat and mouse game and just admit to being hopelessly, stupidly head over heels for the girl. Maybe it was the endearing way that Lexa ignored protests from the other players as she consistently rigged games of beer pong in Clarke’s favor by knocking in her wayward shots and gifting her the ball back time after time, blatantly ignoring the 2-shots-per-turn rule. Perhaps it was the goofy way Lexa had shouted across the party for Clarke to ‘watch!’ as she did a backflip into the pool. Maybe it was the sweet way Lexa smiled at Clarke while they slow danced that night; not caring one bit that Clarke spent the whole time rambling on about some book she’d been reading while stepping all over Lexa’s toes as she struggled to find her rhythm.

It was hard to say what moment had finally tipped Clarke over the precipice but, whatever it was it had surely left her with a fire in her belly and an urge to find Lexa immediately. So she set off in search of the girl, slinking expertly through the crowd of sweaty bodies and pausing only momentarily to ask the birthday girl which way she’d seen Lexa go. In hindsight, when the words “pool house” rolled off of Octavia’s lips, Clarke should’ve known what she was about to bear witness to. But, she was high off the feeling of young love and her brain was dulled from the abhorrent amount of cheap beer she’d had to drink that night so she thought nothing more of it.

And ya know, the worst part wasn’t opening the door to find Costia’s lips wrapped around Lexa’s length. It wasn’t the way Lexa’s own lips parted in pleasure as her cheeks flushed an annoyingly sexy shade of pink. Nor was it the way Lexa grunted and moaned in pleasure before telling the girl servicing her that she “missed this” and “missed her”. No, the worst, most heartbreaking part of it all was the way Lexa lied straight to her face later that night when Clarke asked where she had disappeared to earlier. Yeah, the way Lexa’s eyes had subtlety grown wide in shock at the sudden inquisition, and the way her cheeks tinged that stupid shade of pink again as she stuttered her way through some half assed excuse about catching up with a few friends, that fucking hurt.

It hurt so much because she couldn’t even tell her best friend about the girl who broke her heart at some stupid birthday party.

[pine-needle-shuffle]

:0 I love Clay’s design! What are they like?

I'd have to say she's an, oddly intense child? At least that's how a lot of the adults in her life view her.

She comes off as serious, mainly 'cause if you're not one of like, 7 people, she's very quiet. Very direct and to the point when she does speak. But if she likes you, she'll talk your ear off

Clay's not the most social and has trouble getting along with kids her age, so she tends to cling to the adults and teens in her life. Thinks Denzel and Marlene are the coolest people on the planet(they'd be in their mid/late teens at this point).

Gets into fights for fun. Begged Tifa to teach her hand to hand combat(was told no. due to aforementioned fighting).

She thinks chocobos are scary. No one is sure why, but she does grow out of this fear eventually

While I wouldn't say she's clingy, she likes grabbing onto things. And people. If she doesn't have stuff to do with her hands she'll scrunch up a part of her shirt and hold it really tight.

Very close with her parents, none of them talk in circles around her, if she asks them things, they'll give her an honest answer. With varying levels of tact.