#do they not understand the underlying effects of their show?

[swordinhand]

absolutely feral at how dunmeshi depicts 'people skills'. like we repeatedly see chilchuck being pretty effective at analyzing people and grasping underlying tensions/motives/ect . it would make him a really good party leader which is really driven home by his union rep thing. chilchuck understands how people work. AND YET he's so unaware of himself beyond trying to be abrasive and protect his autonomy, often through that same harshness. and then seeing his moments of honesty very very incrementally go from being means to an end to still needing a good reason to talk about himself but being more specific or genuine about what he's sharing (getting laios to turn back vs. learning more about senshi).

and then marcille is just OPEN regardless of intent, she misses falin so much and complains and expresses all her emotions in a way that the rest of the gang doesn't necessarily do and in turn she's so much more emotionally intelligent to the point that she can pretty accurately understand chilchuck's wife from a brief summary of events and knowing chilchuck as well as she does.

just. really shows how nuanced social stuff is and how many ways there are to be 'good with people'. dunmeshi my heart's beloved.

[oceantornadoo]

thinking about your husband aka mafia au!simon riley telling you he’ll be gone for a couple days, some trip for the Family in chicago, doesn’t give any details, leaving you fretting over a man you’ve kissed twice. and honestly you should enjoy the days of silence in the apartment, but instead you’re anxiously twisting your hands and wearing his shirts, worrying. your cousins don’t know anything about the trip so it’s all on you to panic when a couple days turns into a week, then two. and finally, finally, it’s midnight and you’re stress baking when you hear a key turn in the doorway.

your husband walks through, bloodstains adorning his skull mask as his shoulders slump forward. and suddenly you’re running and jumping on him as he catches your legs around his waist, pulling you both into an embrace full of too many emotions to count. the i missed you’s and i’m sorry’s tinged with your underlying fear that he’d left you for another woman who would willingly consummate the marriage.

he walks you both over to the sofa as he drops his bag on the floor. simon revels in the scent of you, the sight of you in his shirt, better than any dreams he used to keep him company while he was away. you seem to be trying to burrow under his skin and he’ll let you, enraptured with the effect you have on him. he rubs your back in peaceful circles, willing you to calm down and walk off the edge of those tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “i’m sorry”, you pull back suddenly, wiping your eyes and looking ashamed, “i don’t know what got into me, you’re probably tired and-” “don’t worry about it, lovie. i missed you too.” he’s never called you that, never spoke to you with such affection before. you realize that by jumping on him, you shifted his mask over his lips. your hand shoots out to pull it down but he traps it with a larger hand of his own, willing you to let him show himself to you. you trace his lips with your fingers, noting the small scars. he kisses your thumb, so fast you might’ve missed it if you weren’t clocking his each and every movement. slowly, like walking through molasses, you tilt your head forward, lips touching his in a featherlight touch.

you’re kissing him. simon honestly thinks he hit his head and created a delusion, because his wife is straddling him and kissing him. not wanting to scare you, he lets you take charge, his hands sliding from your back to your waist. he pulls up your shirt ever so slightly, thumbs rubbing circles into the meat of your torso as he tries to show you how much he wants this. you gain more confidence, slowly grinding on his hardening cock. he lets out a low growl, causing you to stop. “don’t stop. please don’t stop.” he whispers, desperate to not let this dream end. “i thought you died.” you whispered back, needing him to understand how worried you’ve been. “i’d never leave you like that.” he says, placating your every worry. you smile against his lips and he pulls you back, needing you on him in every way.

his hands grip your hips and move them forward, encouraging you to grind. one of his hands moves to your throat and suddenly you’re whimpering, struggling to keep going through the tightness in your core to the aching of your nipples. “gonna let you come just like this, lovie. fucking yourself on my lap, crying for me.” the seam of his jeans feels so good against your clit, hitting it at just the right angle to set you off. he grips your throat tighter, a reminder that you stopped kissing him, and you eagerly give him more, soft kisses turning sloppy.

you’re grinding faster and faster, unable to control your movements as you rut against him like a bitch in heat. all you need is to come, and the friction between your legs is about to do it. simon angles his hand on your hip downwards, thumb pressing on your clit over your pajamas. you whine, right on the edge, absolutely needing nothing more than to let go. simon fucks into you, never minding the clothes, and whispers “be a good little wife and come for me.” that’s it, your walls spasming over nothing as you come, collapsing into simon’s arms as he continues to rub your clit, prolonging your orgasm. you’re panting, delirious and tired with the emotional and physical energy of the night, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep.

“sleep with me tonight?” simon asks cautiously, not wanting to spook you. you nod against his shoulder and he takes you both to bed, stripping off his clothes to jump in with you. you stiffen beside him but he isn’t having any of that, pulling you in to be the little spoon. “night, wife.” he murmurs into your hair, placing a small kiss on your head. “night, husband.” you reply, hand covering his as you both drift off into a peaceful sleep.

[shellforbrains]

the idea of Stolas publicly humiliating Blitzø in Apology Tour needs, needs, NEEDS to be looked at through the lens of their class difference.

(this is an idea that's been floating around twitter. that stolas is going full diss track in the scene the above screencap is from.

and weirdly enough, there's been some people PRAISING or DEFENDING the idea.

so i did a thread about it on twitter & decided to post it here too bc why not. slightly edited of course bc i made typos in the original lmao.)

first off: i am of the belief that one of the big reasons that Full Moon goes badly is bc stolas is off his meds.

i think that both stolas & blitzø will share some blame for the conversation spiraling out, but i think the main underlying reason that this happens is bc stolas is off his meds & not communicating his point properly.

second: i think that if blitzø DOES cross some sort of line in FM & ends up really hurting stolas, stolas is obviously within his rights to be hurt & feel bad about that shit. and especially bc he's going through his second adolescence & feeling a lot of these intense & big feelings for the first time.

him lashing out in some way or being a little petty could be in somewhat understandable. he's not perfect & has flaws just like everyone else.

HOWEVER. i do not think stolas lashing out after FM or going so far as to PUBLICLY HUMILIATE blitzø is what will happen. doing something like this would kinda be major steps backwards in stolas' character growth.

he has done a lot of work on himself over the 1st half of season 2 but he still has a long ways to go, ESPECIALLY in regards to how he treats imps as a whole.

stolas, a very powerful and influential prince of hell showing up to publicly humiliate blitzø, an imp at the bottom of hell's class system, would be... very questionable at best. and potentially dangerous for blitzø at worst.

regardless of how hurt stolas could potentially be & what big feelings he's experiencing for the first time in his second adolescence, the position & privilege he still currently holds are things that always needs to be considered. especially since a huge part of his character arc is that he's starting to REALIZE the extent of that class divide & how he unintentionally took advantage of that with the Full Moon Deal.

i REALLY do not think that stolas will actually belt out a blitzø diss track. i think that he will be using this opportunity to attempt to communicate properly what he WANTED to say in FM but couldn't bc their conversation spiraled.

but i am still writing this to try to get people to look at this from an alternate perspective.

i love stolas. i relate to him so much & i don't want to make it seem like i don't think he's allowed to be imperfect or hurt by things. i am merely REMINDING anyone that reads this that the class difference between stolas & blitzø currently still plays a large part in A LOT of aspects of their relationship.

publicly humiliating blitzø with the influence he has would NOT be a girlboss moment. it would carry a LOT of weight on how blitzø & his company could be seen & maybe even have an effect on their livelihood.

which is exactly what stolas wanted to AVOID by giving blitzø the crystal in the first place.

he is giving the crystal so that I.M.P can keep going & growing, as well as trying to put blitzø & himself on ever-so-slightly more even footing. this idea of publicly humiliating blitzø would be the exact OPPOSITE of that.

[funnyexel]

Can you do a Clark Kent x reader having to deal with working at the daily planet and Lois vying for him even though he only has eyes for you. He loves your brown skin and different styles you rock. I’m a black reader so thank you for sharing your writing.

imagine clark as your coworker

Swallowing thickly as you leaned your head on your fist. Huffing out a sigh, the continuous ticking of the clock, footsteps of your coworkers and the chattering from the Daily Planet News Channel are all pounding on the inside of your skull. You pushed your glasses up higher on the bridge of your nose as your eyes scanned over the rough draft for the next column. You absolutely hated proofreading, such a tedious and straining job for your eyes. All the overstimulating noises not helping.

And of course a bumbling fool had to prance his way to your desk. You heard the knock against the cubicle but you hoped your hair was big enough to drown out the noise.

"Yes? Do you need something?"

A small corporate smile is plastered on your face as you glance up at the familiar man. A soft glance hiding your underlying annoyance by the intrusion. Looking behind the man for a quick moment, you see two spectators focusing on this interaction.

"I haven't seen you around this floor before. I was thinking we could grab some coffee. I could show you the ropes."

Pupils flickering back to your coworker in front of you, your eyes drop. From a friendly and warm aura to pure annoyance. Inhaling through your nose and out your mouth, you flash a quick smile. The classic white man burden scenario.

There is truly only one way to clarify and shut down this run in. You've tried a number of different approaches but this one seems the most effective...and the most fun. "I've been working here for three years."

You don't know what was more ironic about the setting: your deadpanned voice, his rosy cheeks or his curt nod and awkward walk away. You bathe in watching the confidence drain from a mans face. The shocked look from the somewhat new information and the simultaneous switch from your corporate personality to your regular 'no bullshit' attitude.

You don't understand how a new hairstyle was an indication of being a whole new person. You still had the same face. Maybe that was all white men logic, you thought. But that was an unfair stereotype. There was one man you knew of that noticed. He noticed practically every minuscule thing about you. A tall, stereotypical, blue eyed, dark haired gentleman. He was sweet and sort of awkward but so very easy on the eyes.

"Hm? Oh, no. I'm not going home for the holidays."

The simple question, set the scene for what Clark would ask you next. He waited to get you in the break room alone to ask and clearly you thought nothing of it. But before he could follow up.

"I love going home for the holidays!"

An interruption. You gave a small smile to her but he sighed.

Lois.

Always annoying. Always showing up at the wrong time. Oh, how he hated when she'd simply...'pop up'. Clark pushed up his glasses as he still kept his gaze on you. Refraining from saying anything that would create an awkward situation for you.

"No boyfriend either? I assume."

You only chuckled at the question and he sported a calm smirk. Ignoring the ugly cackle in the background. You provided him all the correct responses. No holiday plans? No boyfriend? He had another question in mind but Lois was continuously interjecting and talking over you. So much so that he couldn't get a second to ask you directly.

Talking to Clark for one more moment, you glanced to the side and notice your other coworker come up to your desk. Excusing yourself from the conversation, you hurriedly leave the break room and met them. He watched the way you stride around your desk in that pencil skirt. Your low heels adding a particular sway to your hips as you leaned over and flipped through flies on your desk. You bent over just right, enough for him to have a peak at that scandalous bra you wore and as if on queue, she speaks.

"Finally! We're alone. So, I was wondering if we could-"

The moment she closed her eyes from immense nervousness, he bolted. Anyone could tell he had zero interest in that overzealous woman. Anyone but her.

It wasn't long until Clark found you again and you were flipping through more papers. He always admired how hard working you were. How you'd apply yourself to everything you did. It was inspiring. It makes him think of how you would be if domesticated. A terrific mother, he thinks. And probably an even better wife.

"Clark?"

Your soft voice snaps him out the thought and he perks up.

"I don't mind it. I'm just not that seasonal. Compared to you anyway."

Like he gives a damn about what you'd be wearing.

"That won't be a problem. Look as pretty as you do and that'll be seasonal enough."

He could feel his stomach flex at the smile you give him. His cock stiffening in his slacks as his eyes scan over your facial features in the sweet moment. Even though he was fully engulfed in your laugh and grin, he still had many things to take care of.

The nuisance. That passive aggressive and flirty coworker. And lastly you.

He needed you.

He needed you so much more than life itself.

He needs you full of life and his seed.

He needs you to be his wife.

But he can wait one more Christmas before making that happen.

At least. He hopes he can wait. Because if he see's you with those beautiful braids, he doesn't know if he can resist the scene of fisting them while he pounds into you from behind.

a/n: I'm not going to lie you guys I'm lacking inspiration at the moment but I'm still going to do my best to get through all the asks. thanks so much for the support!

more writing

short stories here

[frigidwife]

i would like to ask ur opinion on this bc u are one of maybe 5-6 iwtv blogs that i trust and i don't know if i am simply biased but i think u are very thoughtful and fair in ur analysis of iwtv. because even among self-proclaimed louis lovers/understanders, i have seen the idea that louis "could not and would not" save claudia from the fire, or choose her over armand, or that louis was also abusive to claudia if not the Most abusive, or that he "let" lestat/armand destroy her. and i agree that louis failed claudia in some ways (though saying that feels much too vague at this point) and that liking characters doesn't mean apologizing for their flaws and i understand the reflex to spotlight claudia's mistreatment as many fans are so quick to dismiss her importance. but i think people get so caught up in emphasizing claudia's tragedy that they end up falling into victim-blaming rhetoric and ironically de-legitimizing really important aspects of her character and impact. so i wanted to ask though, how do you think louis actually did fail claudia? and should we call claudia's death louis' failure?

ty for valuing my opinion 🥹 i agree w you completely people emphasize claudia's tragedy at total expense of her personality...which sucks bc i love her personality...i think louis actually primarily failed claudia in the exact way that every single parent fails their child. if you've read frankenstein it's about the inherent monstrosity of creation--inherent hubris of creating something whether it's a creature, a work of art (the novel itself!), or a child (shelley's miscarriages and her relationship with her parents haunt the novel). you create something that is a part of you and a mirror of you, you confer your expectations as naturally as breathing, even with the best of intentions, but now the creature/novel/child exists outside of you, outside of your body and your imagination, autonomous, with desires and effects you couldn't have dreamt of, and there is something terrifying and painful in that chasm even in the best of conditions. and this is more broadly true of loving anyone. and in that sense i don't think louis's turning of claudia is really more selfish than having a child ever is. it's not an aberrant or evil desire. so that's one layer.

and then the next layer is the conditions. louis cannot stop seeing claudia as his daughter, even if he calls her sister. she'll always be his daughter. and again this is an almost fundamental condition of being a parent. even if ur parents make an effort--and louis is making an effort--to see you as equals, that foundation is underlying it and can't come undone. the problem is that normally, even if maybe you're always a baby to your mom deep down, you're also functionally an adult in the real world. but claudia is an adult who is constantly belittled and condescended to and treated as a child from all corners. so she goes from louis who can't see her as her own person because he cant stop being her parent to an outside world that can't see her as her own person bc it's structured to deny children's autonomy, and girls' in particular, and especially black girls'. AND THEN the abuse. “you chose lestat over her again and again” i think people take daniel as word of god a lot even when the show has demonstrated that daniel is less than careful talking and thinking about abuse, when it comes to both louis and claudia. Louis chooses to take lestat back, can’t kill him for good, chooses to commit to armand, tells her to put up with the coven’s abuse. those are choices that hurt claudia terribly. but they also exist in the context of abuse. over two decades of debilitating destroying violence and then a new man who tracks him down and dangles his and claudia’s life over him as penalty from the jump. louis is constantly calculating risk based on what they’ve experienced and the same way claudia’s trauma drives her into the waiting arms of a cult, louis’s means he sees enduring as his strongest means of survival . and even from before that from keeping his family afloat under jim crow —performance, self sacrifice at the expense of closeness with grace and paul; using “weakness to rise”. so when louis tells claudia to endure its bc he cannot imagine a way out. which is a failure sure and something claudia can and does resent him deeply for but is entirely and categorically different from what lestat and armand inflict on her . his “choosing armand” is never really about him liking armand particularly it’s him deciding he knows what’s best for both of them—again seeing claudia as his child—to the extent that he won’t even tell her about armand knowing their secret.

this isn’t selfless it’s foolish it’s prideful but the story very clearly is not Louis picking a man over his daughter. (claudia calls out what he wants in a companion in 2.01—“if he can’t call you pretty and take you ballroom dancing” Armand won’t even light his cigarette). i think people have constructed this narrative which funnily enough is the exact same one armand uses to gaslight louis with in 2.05 ("you threw around her name for cover, but you always went back to talking about him" or something like that). Which is really obviously a victim blaming narrative lol like the amount of joke posts that r essentially saying Maybe if louis wasn’t so cock hungry his daughter wouldn’t be dead. Okay?? i think its absolutely fucking insane to call her death louis's particular failure when she was lynched. by armand

and you can tell by episode 6 claudia has realized louis isn’t picking armand over her. her frustration with him is with this martyrdom that she never asked for or wanted, that clearly isn’t “you and me” either. Like you cannot tell me she believes “imagine me without the burden of her” means louis is happy and relieved to see her go Bc she’s not stupid and she’s seen him happy before. If she really thought he meant something like that she wouldn’t behave towards him as she does in the rest of ep 6 and doing the trial. completely ignoring her personality

there is also a hopefully really small subset of people who think pointing out how patriarchy works Is gender essentialism who posit louis as the primary perpetrator of misogynoir in order to justify their fundamental queer human right to call lestat femme . and then expect pats on the back for acknowledging #intersectionality . which is. absurd.

[covid-safer-hotties]

The Invisible Damage: How COVID Rewires Our Brains - Published Aug 20, 2024

University of Colorado Boulder scientists have discovered that proteins left by COVID-19 can significantly lower cortisol levels in the brain, leading to heightened immune responses to new stressors.

This research, focusing on the neurological symptoms of Long COVID, utilized rats to demonstrate how SARS-CoV-2 antigens persist in the body and alter brain function. This persistent effect could explain the severe and varied symptoms of Long COVID, suggesting potential directions for further research and symptom management strategies.

Understanding COVID-19’s Long-term Impact on the Brain Proteins left behind by COVID-19 long after initial infection can cause cortisol levels in the brain to plummet, inflame the nervous system, and prime its immune cells to hyper-react when another stressor arises, according to new animal research by University of Colorado Boulder scientists.

The study, published in the journal Brain Behavior and Immunity, sheds new light on what might underly the neurological symptoms of Long COVID, an intractable syndrome which impacts as many as 35% of those infected with the virus.

The findings come as COVID makes a striking summer comeback, with cases rising in 84 countries and numerous high-profile athletes at the Paris Olympics testing positive.

Cortisol’s Role in Long COVID Symptoms “Our study suggests that low cortisol could be playing a key role in driving many of these physiological changes that people are experiencing with Long COVID,” said lead author Matthew Frank, PhD, a senior research associate with the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at CU Boulder.

Previous research has shown that SARS-CoV-2 antigens, immune-stimulating proteins shed by the virus that causes COVID-19, linger in the bloodstream of Long COVID patients as much as a year after infection. They’ve also been detected in the brains of COVID patients who have died.

To explore just how such antigens impact the brain and nervous system, the research team injected an antigen called S1 (a subunit of the “spike” protein) into the spinal fluid of rats and compared them to a control group.

Cortisol Reduction and Its Consequences After 7 days, in rats exposed to S1, levels of the cortisol-like hormone corticosterone plummeted by 31% in the hippocampus, the region of the brain associated with memory, decision making, and learning. After 9 days, levels were down 37%.

“Nine days is a long time in the life span of a rat,” said Frank, noting that rats live on average for two to three years.

He notes that cortisol is a critical anti-inflammatory, helps convert fuel into energy and is important for regulating blood pressure and the sleep-wake cycle and keeping the immune response to infection in check. One recent study showed that people with Long COVID tend to have low cortisol levels. So do people with chronic fatigue syndrome, research shows.

“Cortisol has so many beneficial properties that if it is reduced it can have a host of negative consequences,” said Frank.

Read the rest and get a link to the (paywalled) study at either link!

[comicaurora]

YOU WATCHED CENTAURWORLD?!

YOU USED IT AS AN EXAMPLE IN THE TROPE TALK!!!!

It is my favorite and I require to know your thoughts on it.

It's. Hm

So I think it absolutely accomplished what it set out to do, which means it is a successful work of art. But I think what it was aiming for didn't work for me?

In its efforts to play with centaurworld's ridiculousness versus the gritty nightmare of the "real world", it tonally undercuts almost all of its profound moments and then tries to get profound character moments out of squeeky-toy inflatable cartoon characters. Of the main cast, Horse and Wammawink are basically the only ones who get sufficient development to feel like real characters capable of carrying impactful moments, and the rest of the crew are basically walking punchlines - even speedrunning their respective Tragic Backstories doesn't do much to strengthen them, because in the present of the show they're fundamentally joke characters incapable of emotional subtlety. It kinda feels like if a Looney Tunes episode randomly dropped a flashback to baby Daffy Duck being moses'd into the bullrushes as if that mattered to how he functioned now. Plus, once we start jumping back to the Real World again, it turns out all those characters are also wacky in their own way - lots of very quippy dialogue and self-referential humor. Instead of Horse feeling broadly representative of her world's tone, she feels like the most serious character in the entire show - at least until season 2 where her dialogue starts being 50% fart jokes by volume.

Overall I think I loved what they set up in season 1, but not how they paid it off in season 2. There's the themes they establish in season 1 of how centaurworld has a cartoonifying effect on everyone who comes there, and the way this plays to Horse early on is full on cartoon body horror - a realistic horse slowly and inexorably transforming into a parody of itself. I thought that was a fascinating way to frame it, and it was nightmarish to contemplate! It comes to a really strong head in the Whaletaur Shaman episode when her friends seem to finally realize how much she's been struggling and suffering and how, despite it looking like a big joke to everyone, it's profoundly unfunny to her. But while she gets a nice emotional resolution at the end of that episode, the underlying horror is never addressed again. She still seems unhappy with her new cartoon body, but the transformations are from this point forward framed as uncomplicated positives that everybody thinks are funny.

It's purposefully blending comedy and horror together, but the execution feels like the disparate ingredients are hindering each other's effectiveness. The horror stuff rarely gets sufficient gravity and is just left as Hey Look Horrifying Implications, and the jokes are often undermined by all the seriousness left lying around. It's a flavor combination that doesn't work for me.

And then the stuff with the Deertaur and the Princess is incredibly interesting and profound and tragic, and I don't understand why it's happening in the same show as everything else?

Also, this is a minor nitpick, but the musical numbers were astounding in the first season but seemed to experience some sort of weird categorical downgrade in season 2. All the solid numbers were reprises from season 1.

Centaurworld was doing something very much on purpose, and I just don't think I got what that something was.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Unleashing the Power of Inspiration: Crafting Original Fiction from Beloved Books and Movies

As writers and authors, we often find ourselves captivated by the worlds created in our favorite books, TV shows, and movies. The characters, settings, and narratives leave an indelible mark on our creative minds, inspiring us to weave our own tales of wonder. However, it's essential to strike a delicate balance between drawing inspiration and avoiding the pitfalls of outright copying. In this article, I'll help you explore effective strategies for infusing inspiration from beloved sources into your own fiction book while maintaining authenticity and originality.

Checklist for Effective Incorporation of Inspiration:

Before we dive into the details, let me provide you with a handy checklist to ensure you're harnessing inspiration in a responsible and imaginative manner:

Identify key elements: Analyze your favorite book, TV show, or movie and pinpoint the aspects that resonate with you the most. These elements could include character development, plot structure, world-building, or even the emotional journey.

Seek multiple sources: Broaden your horizons by drawing inspiration from various sources, rather than solely relying on one. This will help you create a unique blend of ideas and themes while avoiding the risk of replicating a single work.

Understand the essence: Delve deeper into what makes your favorite works truly special. Analyze the underlying themes, motifs, and messages conveyed. By grasping the essence of these stories, you can extract the core elements that resonate with you and apply them thoughtfully in your own work.

Adapt, don't copy: Rather than replicating specific characters or plotlines, focus on adapting the essence of your favorite works to suit your unique story. Ask yourself how you can capture the emotions, atmosphere, or philosophical questions that made those works impactful and translate them into your own voice and narrative.

Combine with personal experiences: Infuse your story with your own life experiences, emotions, and observations. By blending external inspiration with your personal perspective, you can create a rich tapestry that reflects your unique voice and vision.

Embrace originality: Strive to bring something fresh and innovative to the table. Instead of emulating your favorite works verbatim, use them as a springboard to explore uncharted territory, experiment with new ideas, and develop your own creative style.

When incorporating inspiration into your fiction book, it's crucial to approach the process with a keen eye for adaptation rather than replication. Take a moment to reflect on what specifically draws you to your favorite books, TV shows, or movies. Is it the intricate world-building, the captivating plot twists, or the depth of the characters? Understanding the essence of what makes these works special allows you to extract the core elements that resonate with you and apply them thoughtfully in your own narrative.

For instance, let's say you're enthralled by the rich and immersive world-building of a particular fantasy series. Instead of attempting to recreate the exact setting or magical system, focus on the underlying principles that make it captivating. Is it the intricate interplay between magic and politics? The complex relationships between different species or factions? By identifying these foundational aspects, you can adapt them to suit your own fictional universe, infusing it with a unique twist that aligns with your overarching vision.

Similarly, examine the characters that have left a lasting impact on you. What qualities do they possess that make them memorable and relatable? Is it their internal conflicts, their emotional journeys, or their growth throughout the story? Rather than replicating these characters outright, delve into the essence of what makes them compelling. Then, apply those qualities to your own characters, infusing them with your unique perspectives and distinctive traits. By doing so, you'll create a fresh cast that embodies the spirit of your inspiration while remaining authentic to your story.

It's also essential to complement external inspiration with your personal experiences and observations. Draw from your own life to add depth and authenticity to your narrative. Incorporate elements of your own emotions, struggles, and triumphs, weaving them seamlessly into the fabric of your story. This infusion of personal touch not only enhances the originality of your work but also allows readers to connect with your characters and themes on a deeper level.

Ultimately, the key to effectively incorporating inspiration lies in embracing originality. While it's natural to be influenced by the works that have touched us profoundly, it's equally important to bring something fresh and innovative to the table. Use your favorite books, TV shows, and movies as a springboard to explore uncharted territory, experiment with new ideas, and develop your own creative style. By doing so, you'll create a fiction book that not only pays homage to your sources of inspiration but also stands on its own as a unique and captivating piece of literature.

Drawing inspiration from your favorite books, TV shows, and movies can be a powerful tool for any writer. By conscientiously adapting the essence of these works, combining them with your personal experiences, and infusing them with originality, you can craft a fiction book that resonates with readers while maintaining your own distinct voice. Remember, the key lies in taking the inspiration and transforming it into something entirely new, breathing life into your own imaginative world. So, go forth, let your favorite stories inspire you, and create masterpieces that will captivate readers for generations to come.

[greenqueenhightower]

Welcome to yet another episode of DISTURBING Things I Notice in HOTD:

Today’s installment is on bloodlust and dermatillomania (tw!) as expressed by our two key figures of the Dance, Rhaenyra and Alicent, and their similarities between Daemon and Criston respectively (pls bear with me on this).

First up, even though we have seen many scenes of bloodshed in the show, I want to mainly talk about the two scenes of bloodlust we have seen with Rhaenyra in episode 3 where she kills a boar, and with Alicent when she cuts Rhaenyra's arm at Driftmark.

Why, though, do I say bloodlust? Because it describes a desire for bloodshed and carnage, often aroused in the heat of battle or the moment, leading to uncontrolled slaughter and torture. The perfect example of this description is Criston's killing of Joffrey at Leanor's & Rhaenyra's wedding because it was moved by a desire for bloodshed further motivated by Criston's emotional turmoil, it was aroused in the heat of the moment because Joffrey provoked him, and, most importantly, he had lost control. This means that Criston is not generally like that; had he not lost control, he would not have performed the act.

The exact OPPOSITE is Daemon's cold-hearted killing of Vaemond: there was no underlying desire, the moment was not heated, nor was he personally attacked, and he did not display any loss of control. This means that he did not need any provocation to perform the act. In other words, bloodlust and bloodshed are in general part of Daemon's character.

I think that the analysis of these two extremes helps in understanding where Alicent and Rhaenyra lay in the spectrum of bloodlust.

Starting off with the scene at the hunt where she slays the boar, Rhaenyra ticks all the boxes for bloodlust: a desire for bloodshed because of the hunt, arousal in the heat of the moment because she was attacked by the beast, which then results in uncontrolled slaughter. Yet, that doesn’t seem to have any effect on Rhaenyra, as we see her walking back to the camp, completely drenched in blood. Her sight stuns and terrifies spectators, Alicent included, but Rhaenyra's detached attitude toward carnage resembles that of Daemon's. I am not saying that bloodshed and carnage are part of her character to the extent that they are a part of Daemon’s, but she and he both display a higher tolerance to the sight, thought and feel of the act.

Let's get now to the scene at Driftmark and the confrontation between Alicent and Rhaenyra. Alicent, too, ticks all three of the boxes for bloodlust at that moment: a desire for bloodshed because of the maiming of her son, arousal in the heat of the moment because her concerns are not taken seriously, and loss of control that results in obtaining the Valyrian steel dagger and cutting Rhaenyra's arm. However, Alicent shows how horrified she is that the situation has gotten out of control, and she drops the dagger. Later on, we see her remorse which mirrors Criston's, who wanted to commit suicide. They both understood the lengths of their actions and were devastated.

And what about Rhaenyra when she gets cut in that scene? She is once again oblivious to the pain, staring Alicent dead in the eyes which terrifies Alicent even more. I have a few reasons as to why.

First of all, Alicent suffered from dermatillomania growing up, which is a mental health condition where a person compulsively picks or scratches their skin, causing injuries or scarring. Also known as excoriation disorder or skin-picking disorder, this condition falls under the category of obsessive-compulsive disorders (OCDs) and can be triggered by anxiety. There are several scenes where we see that same anxiety permeate Alicent and her resort to dermatillomania, as early as episode 1 (this is where her brother Gwayne is fighting with Daemon):

What science says is that such behavior is anxiety-induced, a clinical condition, and even though she could stop it if she chose to, it is not that easy or simple. Alicent was addicted to the numbing pain as a relief from her anxiety but she loathed herself for its destructive nature. She was often made fun of it by her father who told her that she was "destroying herself." We see that as her confidence grew in the later episodes, and when she was released from the strenuous puppeteering of Otto, she was able to overcome the habit.

To my eyes, this is why it is shocking for Alicent to a) cause pain to Rhaenyra and b) to see Rhaenyra oblivious to such pain. The fact that Rhaenyra doesn’t even flinch, when Alicent hated herself for causing harm to her own body for years and when she already hates herself for losing her temper, confirms to her Rhaenyra’s absolute callousness. Yes, she, who lusts after what she wants and knows no limits, and whose ambition runs thicker than blood, does feel entitled to Aemond’s eye.

In fact, Alicent barely recognizes Rhaenyra at this moment. Alicent has just become afraid of herself, and of the newly discovered bloodlust she didn’t know she had, and seeing Rhaenyra show no reaction to the pain, Alicent becomes doubly afraid of Rhaenyra. The one who stares deeply into her eyes and shows her that she cannot hurt her. Who tells her that she can take in much more. Who is not like Alicent, to become consumed by pain. Rhaenyra is a warrior, and she is capable of showing her heartlessness when necessary. And that’s when Alicent understands that she doesn’t know Rhaenyra anymore. Alicent becomes even more afraid of her, and the person she has become. The person she could potentially turn into when provoked.

This is what absolutely terrifies yet humanizes Alicent, who already hated herself for causing injury to herself, and who hates herself now for causing injury to Rhaenyra. Yet Rhaenyra won't let her hurt or pain show like Alicent does, and she is used to causing injury without feeling anything; just like Daemon.

*added the coloring to keep track of the many lines of thought happening here

[hayatheauthor]

The Dos and Don'ts of Writing Flashbacks in Fiction

In the realm of storytelling, flashbacks serve as powerful tools that allow authors to delve into their characters' pasts and enrich their narratives. However, crafting effective flashbacks requires finesse and precision. In this blog post, I will explore the dos and don'ts of writing flashbacks in fiction.

Understanding the Purpose of Flashbacks

Flashbacks play a crucial role in fiction writing, offering various benefits that can elevate your storytelling to new heights. Let's examine the primary purposes of incorporating flashbacks into your narrative:

A. Emphasizing Character Development

By utilizing flashbacks to unveil a character's past experiences, traumas, or significant events, you can offer readers deeper insights into their motivations and actions in the present. This creates multidimensional characters, making them more relatable and compelling to your audience.

Example:

In J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," the flashbacks showcasing Severus Snape's troubled childhood and his complex relationship with James Potter help readers understand his motivations and the complexities of his character. 

B. Building Emotional Depth

Well-crafted flashbacks have the power to evoke strong emotions in readers. When you transport them to a pivotal moment in a character's past, you intensify their connection to the character's journey and the overall storyline.

C. Advancing the Plot

Flashbacks can serve as valuable tools to reveal crucial information that propels the main plot forward. They can provide context, clarify mysteries, and offer insights that impact the present-day events in your story.

Example:

In Gillian Flynn's "Gone Girl," the well-timed flashbacks provide readers with essential information about the characters' pasts, which ultimately shapes the unfolding events and twists in the narrative.

Understanding the underlying purposes of flashbacks allows you to harness their potential effectively. Before incorporating a flashback into your writing, consider how it contributes to character development, emotional depth, or plot advancement.

Dos for Writing Flashbacks

Now that I’ve covered the significance of flashbacks in fiction, let's explore the essential dos to ensure your flashbacks are compelling, seamless, and effective:

Seamlessness and Clarity

One of the key factors to keep in mind when writing flashbacks is to ensure they are seamlessly integrated into your narrative. Avoid abrupt transitions that can confuse readers. Instead, provide clear cues or signals to indicate that a flashback is beginning.

Utilize phrases like "In the past," "Years ago," or "I remember when" to smoothly introduce the flashback. Another tip is to employ italics or a change in font style for the flashback section to set it apart from the present-day narrative. 

Relevance and Significance

Every flashback should have a purpose that contributes to the overall story. Avoid incorporating flashbacks solely for the sake of backstory or exposition. Each flashback should offer valuable insights into the characters, their relationships, or the plot.

If your protagonist is struggling with trust issues, a flashback depicting a past betrayal or a moment of broken trust can add depth to their present-day challenges. 

Engaging Descriptions

To immerse readers in the flashback scene, use descriptive language that brings the past to life. Engage the senses to paint a vivid picture of the setting, characters, and emotions.

Instead of stating, "She was scared during the incident," show the fear through actions and sensations: "Her heart pounded against her chest, and her hands trembled as she clutched the edge of the table."

Limitation and Balance

While flashbacks can enhance your story, overusing them can disrupt the narrative flow. Limit the number of flashbacks and their length, ensuring they complement the main storyline without overshadowing it.

If your novel spans several years, consider using only a few carefully chosen flashbacks to highlight the most impactful moments in your character's past.

By adhering to these dos, you can create seamless and impactful flashbacks that add depth to your characters and enrich your narrative.

Don'ts for Writing Flashbacks

As with any writing technique, there are pitfalls to avoid when incorporating flashbacks into your fiction. Steering clear of these common mistakes will help ensure that your flashbacks enhance your story rather than hinder it:

Avoid Info Dumps:

While flashbacks are an excellent tool to provide backstory, be cautious not to overwhelm your readers with lengthy info dumps. Instead, sprinkle relevant information throughout the narrative to maintain a steady flow.

For example, rather than presenting all the details of a character's childhood in one extended flashback, reveal crucial information gradually through dialogue, memories, or short flashback snippets.

Steer Clear of Randomness

Ensure that each flashback is purposeful and directly contributes to the understanding of your characters or the plot. Avoid including flashbacks that feel disconnected or irrelevant to the central storyline.

For example, if your story revolves around a murder mystery, avoid incorporating flashbacks that focus on unrelated events unless they have a direct impact on the mystery's resolution. A flashback scene about a suspect’s childhood friendship with the victim might seem relevant, however, unless this flashback reveals a new dynamic outside of what is already established it might not be important.

Mind the Chronological Order

It is essential to maintain a clear and coherent timeline when using flashbacks. Confusing readers with inconsistent chronology can disrupt the flow of your story and lead to misunderstandings.

For example If a character's flashback reveals a traumatic event, ensure that it aligns with the character's age and the sequence of events in the present-day narrative.

Minimize Flashback Within Flashback

While flashbacks can be a valuable tool, nesting multiple layers of flashbacks within each other can become confusing and disorienting for readers. Limit the use of "flashback within flashback" techniques.

Instead of presenting a character's memory within a flashback itself, narrate the original flashback and then transition back to the present.

By avoiding these pitfalls, you can ensure that your flashbacks remain engaging and seamless, enhancing your storytelling rather than detracting from it.

Techniques to Enhance Flashback Writing

To master the art of writing flashbacks, consider employing these techniques that will make your flashback scenes more engaging and impactful:

Show, Don't Tell

As with any narrative element, "showing" rather than "telling" is a fundamental principle of good storytelling. Use descriptive language and vivid imagery to immerse readers in the flashback scene, allowing them to experience events alongside the characters.

For example, instead of stating, "He was heartbroken when she left," show the heartbreak through the character's actions and emotions: "He clutched the crumpled letter in his trembling hands, his eyes welling up with tears as he read her farewell words."

Blend with Character Voice

Maintaining consistency in narrative voice during flashbacks is essential for preserving the authenticity of the characters. Ensure that the language and tone used in the flashback reflect the character's voice at that particular moment in their life.

This is especially important for childhood memories. If your protagonist is recalling a childhood memory, the language and narration style should match their age and level of maturity at that time.

Foreshadowing and Subtlety

Use flashbacks strategically to foreshadow future events or provide subtle hints about upcoming plot developments. This technique can create a sense of anticipation and intrigue in readers, keeping them engrossed in your story.

For example, in a mystery novel, a flashback showing a brief encounter with the antagonist before they become the primary threat can add suspense and anticipation for the eventual confrontation.

Break the Rules Intentionally

While it is essential to follow the dos and don'ts of writing flashbacks, there may be instances where intentionally breaking the rules can create unique storytelling effects. For example, if your protagonist suffers from memory loss, using fragmented and disjointed flashbacks can mirror their confusion and contribute to the overall atmosphere of the story.

By incorporating these techniques, you can craft vivid, emotionally resonant flashbacks that deepen your readers' connection to the characters and enrich your narrative.

I hope this blog on The Dos and Don'ts of Writing Flashbacks will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.  

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Haya’s book blog where I post writing and publishing tips for authors every Monday and Thursday! And don’t forget to head over to my TikTok and Instagram profiles @hayatheauthor to learn more about my WIP and writing journey! 

[sussyscurryscorpio]

Scorpio Placement Observations

(This picture doesn't belong to me in any way) (These may apply to 8th house placements too. Tell me if it does) (I won't make another post for Saturn and Jupiter. I'll include it in some astro-notes post briefly, if anything)

For Moon, Venus and Mercury, click here

SCORPIO SUN:

~Okay so, I won't typecast anything but Scorpio Suns are generally more comfortable around their male besties than their female counterparts? Like they don't get the girly shit or they don't like it all the time? But with the "bros", they get the homie feeling? You know?

~I feel people mistake Scorpio Suns a lot to being introverted and like ✨mysterious✨. Like, most Scorpio Suns (Tropical and Sidereal) are pretty chill, and ambivert, if not extraverted.

~Tropical Scorpio Suns are Sidereal Libra Suns. And well, out of all debilitated signs, this one is the least, well, difficult. A weak sun is good. Imagine looking at a very bright sun. It hurts your eyes, that's what it does. In the sign of Libra, it makes the native very diplomatic, very calm, very creative (fine arts or creative writing too even) The IT-girl placement? These people are so well liked. (Maybe the girls are envious from these people?) The guys who have this are so aesthetically pleasing to my Libra Venus. I see you🤍

~Sidereal Scorpio Suns are Tropical Sagittarius. These are the people who might be your stereotypical introverted, mysterious people, but that's generally because of an underlying insecurity, trust me. These people have a no-nonsense approach in life. Like if you're gonna bring me down, rightfully, fuck off. I'm not here for your shit.

~Well, as a Scorpio Sun (Sidereal) myself, I'm the biggest ambivert you'll ever find. I'll be an extrovert with the extroverts and with my introvert bestie, I'm a mild introvert. Haha, she makes me introvert. I love her.

~Also, most Scorpio Suns befriend other Scorpio Suns? I used to lose my mind when I first came across zodiacs. All my friends were Sagittarius Suns (Tropical). Like 5 of them, the closest ones. Or they were Scorpio Suns (Tropical). I didn't know about Risings then, let alone Sidereal. So, I used to always wonder why this is. Now, I know.

~I used to befriend Sidereal Scorpio Suns (Tropical Sagittarius Suns), and those were the closest ones always. I was myself always with them. Other Scorpio Suns always brought out the real me or a part of me I wasn't very open. True Vibe Soulmates, ngl.

~As for the Sidereal Libra Suns (Tropical Scorpio Suns), that was mostly because I have prominent Libra Placements so, comforting.

SCORPIO MARS:

~Tactical. Freaky hotties. Intense. Bold. The perfect "Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" placement.

~Not an observation but I wanna fuck a Scorpio Mars. At least once in my life. Call it my fantasy.

~You guys and your strong ass willpower has me weak in the knees. You can commit? A person in today's day and age who can friggin commit? I want it. Please. Take me in.

~Like when you decide to do something, you make sure you do it and that you do it better than any other motherfucker. You go study the depth of the subject and know the roots, like real focusing on the "how"s and the "why"s. "Why is Sodium a soft metal? WHY SODIUM, WHYYY?!!"

~See. The simple logic behind this is Mars is domicile in Scorpio. It's comfortable here. It's in its element. It will show its full effect now. And what does Mars represent? Passion. So, these people are passionate towards whatever they do. And when you do something passionately, you become the friggin best in it.

~Um, you know, with Mars, the Sign is one part of it. I feel more important is the house it is in and what planets are aspecting it. But since we're not discussing that, let's not digress.

~Sex is important? Fuck no. Sex is IMPORTANT. How will you know if you can mate this person for life? Sexual compatibility is essential for you guys. And it's understandable too. The blending of souls through the bodies is utmost to show the love you feel. Words? Mean shit. Actions? Speak louder.

~I don't remember where but I heard this from an astrologer that the difference between Aries Mars and Scorpio Mars is their approach. Aries is represented by the Ram. Scorpio, whereas, is represented by the Scorpion itself. So, when a Ram attacks, it does with its horns. Face to face, head-on confrontation, while a Scorpion does it with its sting, which is on its back.

~What I'm trying to say is when you wrong a Scorpio, they won't react immediately. They'll be like "Oh. Okay" and months later you find all your friends falling out with you, people knowing the shit you did and then you realise, it was the Scorpio Mars person's doing. So, these people will take their vengeance when their enemy would be at their fucking lowest.

~And these people hold their vendetta forever. Forgiveness? What the fuck is that?

~You guys make elaborate plans. Like Money Heist level plans. On a smaller scale could be, um, Mass bunking college or Dating your shitty ex's enemy/best friend as a revenge? Just ideas.

~NSFW: You might have a breeding kink. Just saying. You're all dominating ASF. Everyone. No switching. Just Dominants. Dominatrix. Idk. But you are.

~If you want to manifest something important, like good body, work place stuff, like manifesting the passion, use the color black, purple or red. These are the Martian colors. Red is more for Aries but works. I did it with a blog of mine. Customised it full red. It became an overnight hit.

~Oh and did I tell you you're hot? I'm sorry. You're hot. As hell. Femme Fatale Vibes. Like you can tell me Jennifer from Jennifer's body was Scorpio Mars and I'll believe you. A harshly aspected/placed/afflicted Scorpio Mars gives me Joe Goldberg/ Love Quinn vibes from You. I mean, especially Joe Goldberg cause Scorpio Mars can get stalkerish. It depends on if it is receiving negative aspects from nodes. Like I said, with Mars, sign is secondary. Primary is house and other planetary aspects on it. Not all Scorpio Mars will be Joe Goldberg, come on.

~This happened in another post of mine when I said something about Aquarius Sun and being Hitler-like as an example. Not all Aquarius Suns can be or will be Hitler. One placement does not define you. If it did, you won't need aspects or house systems for it. Pfft-

SCORPIO LILITH:

(I wasn't going to write about Lilith but @lavenderundmintt asked me in the comments, so here goes nothing)

~Honestly, I desperately try to find sources on how to interpret Lilith myself cause whatever I've read never made sense to me based on my placements. I have a Lilith in 1st. And many parts stay, well, conflicted. I'm no Mary Sue in parallel universe as many suggest but whatever. This will be a little shorter. I don't want to fill large paragraphs at the cost of inaccuracies.

~Lilith Scorpio people, I believe, may have stalker-ish boyfriends or lovers? See, with Lilith, you'll experience everything about the sign its in. The roles reverses.

~I just discussed it with a few people how people obsess hard over Scorpio Lilith people. Hookups reaching out, past lovers having difficulty moving on from you. Breaking up then coming back to you? Stalking you on social media? "I'm sorry. I'll change. I'll be better."

~Um, not sure about this but, you might feel uncomfortable in accepting your sexual-ness? Like, maybe, you find sex something taboo or disgusting? Or even to the extent of being Asexual? Or insecure in bed? Its okay if it is true. Many people do and are. But I just, what I'm saying is that after puberty or losing your virginity, you could've find it hard to accept your sexual urges. You could feel unclean/dirty. Might not masturbat3. Reason could be anything, I won't mention any triggers cause triggers are real. If it resonates, you get it and I don't have to say it out loud.

But, I'm just saying. I could be totally wrong here and I'm sorry if I am.

~Oh and this doesn't mean you are unsexy or people don't want to fuck u. You exude a very high, unresistable, sexual aura, many-a-times without realising it.

~You're maybe very submissive? Again, you may not be if it's in, say, 1st house. But just saying, you could attract people through your submissive side. Or "innocence" or "Purity" or wtvr bullshit guys these days find attractive.

~Oh and another very prominent thing I came to know from the discussions. Eyes. Something with eyes that you guys do which drive people insane. Like, you have very hard-to-not-notice eyes. There's power in those eyes which is like very magnetic.

~Needless to say. Lilith isn't a very positive planet. I've seen people discuss how traumas surrounds this planet. And it being in the sexual sign of Scorpio could go anywhere. Not implying anything.

~But one thing I am very certain of. You're unavoidable. You draw people towards you. You're the ✨moment✨

[mjalti]

I cheated on med school exams in first year during Covid maybe 3-4 - and I’m in residency now at the same school and feel like slowly the docs I work with are starting to slowly find out. Every month there’s someone new whose demeanor with me seems to totally change up and it gets tense and awkward where before I never felt like we had any kind of an issue in fact I felt like we really got along well together.

I’m only in my first year of training and I’m worried that this underlying talk about a current resident who’s a previous cheater will continue to spread and make my time here that much more distant with people and really hurt the way I relate to others, to the point I’ll miss out on community and support.

Is there anything I can do about this? I almost want to ask certain docs if they have a particular issue w me and if there’s anything I can do to smooth things over by talking things through. I’m feeling an incredible amt of anxiety about the whole thing and I don’t know what steps I could take to mitigate it.

It sounds like you're going through a really tough and isolating experience right now. The anxiety you're feeling is completely understandable, and it's important to acknowledge and address these feelings rather than letting them build up.

Firstly, it's commendable that you're reflecting on this and seeking ways to improve your situation. It shows a lot of maturity and self-awareness. Although it is wrong to cheat, it’s not because it is a cardinal sin. The reasons are because of what you are learning right now. Information compounds in everything. But especially things like medicine. I think that your view of how others treat you is tainted by the fact that you know you have cheated. They do not know YOU have cheated, but the stress and anxiety is heavy in your heart.

You can always ask specific doctors for feedback but understand that they have a thousand things to do and may not respond kindly, quickly, or in as a validating way as you want. They are not responsible for soothing your conscience. The only thing you can do is, if you remember the exams you cheated on, go back and take them blind. See if you can pass an equivalent online exam.

Especially in medicine, do not cheat because of the fact that even one poor decision can cast a huge doubt on your professionalism, your judgement, and the respect others have for you. You do not need to suffer a thousand lifetimes for a mistake you acknowledge and regret. But you do owe it to yourself and the future patients you will have to mitigate the effect of this time on you as a practitioner. I hope you use this experience to become the best practitioner you can be but do not put a script in people’s mouths; they do not know what you did. They should not be punished for what your insecurities are telling you to suffer over. Do better.

[obislittleone]

The Winner Takes It All

Episode 5

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Tribute(OC)!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Canon typical violence, reader has terrible anxiety, and Finnick is sweet about it. Mentions of bullying, and thoughts of death.

Chapter Summary: Scoring is one of the most important parts of the Hunger Games, and you have to score higher than a certain competitor in order to receive sponsors.

Word Count: 3.9k

Imagine being afraid of swimming pools lmaooo couldn't be me *internalizes my eight year old self's irrational fear of sharks in swimming pools*

“Can you sit down? You’re making us nervous,” Lukas jokingly asked Arbin, who was pacing in front of the screen as the scores were beginning to be read off. It had only been one tribute before the man started getting antsy, fluttering about the room as if there was any method to his madness. 

“They called you Mercy?” 

You huffed, having not even said a word in this conversation. You nodded with a dull look on your face, and Lukas tried his best to undo what he’d said. It was random, completely strange how it all came about, and yet?

Finnick was more than annoyed. He didn’t know where to direct his irritation, but he knew he shouldn’t direct it at you. 

“She didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just a nickname,” Lukas waved his hands in the air, his attempt to de-escalate the situation falling flat while tensions arose. 

“It can be used against her,” Finnick argued. He wasn’t gaining any ground either, because the explanations were too complicated. Lukas couldn’t see what was wrong with a simple nickname, but he would if the effects of it were to play out. 

“They like her, it isn’t like that.”

“And how would you know that?” Finnick was so tired of mentoring and losing tributes. This was the year he’d keep one, but it all depended on their willingness. Lukas can’t see that. “How many times have you been in that arena, huh? How many times have you been the product of what happens in there?”

Lukas didn’t answer that time. Perhaps he’d been out of line, but he didn’t understand the harm in a well meaning gesture. Surely a nickname meant you were well thought of by the careers. He understood though, in the end… he’s never been in a situation where it could be bad, and Finnick has. That’s the difference. Theory and experience. 

“If they start spreading that nickname around, she’s going to be seen as weak. The one who can’t kill another tribute. The one who you can go after first, knowing she’s not a real threat.”

You still remained silent. You should have just hit that girl from seven. She would’ve taken it. At least you wouldn’t be in this position. It was astounding, how many times you could mess up, how many imperfections you could reveal, and how many things were not in your favor. That’s what the hunger games were all about, weren’t they? Whoever has the most favor?

“Look, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I don’t see the point in getting angry about something uncontrollable,” Lukas finally replied, settling back into the couch next to you, your gaze on the ground as the words kept being exchanged around you. “It’s not like she did anything wrong.”

“No,” Finnick conceded, because, no… you didn’t do anything wrong. You opted not to start beef with another tribute before the games started. It could have been seen as a strategy, something to be praised for… but that nickname. It could cost you everything you’ve been working for. No citizen wants to sponsor a weak tribute that shows mercy. “She didn’t. Whoever started this is who we need to be keeping an eye on. If there’s underlying tension within the careers, it could mean a bad ally.”

“E-estelle.” 

They both turned to you, Lukas with some confusion, and Finnick with a raised brow of intrigue and curiosity. 

“She s-started it. Don’t think she l-likes me.” 

For Lukas, it started to make sense. She started the name, she watched you like a hawk, scrutinizing more than anyone else in the group when jokes would be made. It didn’t seem at first as though she wanted to turn them against you, but maybe that wasn’t the plan at all. Maybe it was just to make it seem harmless, as if nothing could come from it. Hell, it’s what he had believed until now. Estelle was likely jealous of your ability. She was likely upset from the way you fit into her group without saying a single word. She wants to be the victor, everyone does… But she was handed the assurance that she had the best chance of all the female tributes, and now that’s gone. It’s all she can do now to try and create chaos for the person that title now belongs to. 

“The girl from one, right?” Finnick had done his homework. Part of expecting a victor is making sure you know everything about the enemies your future victor will face. He knows that she’s lethal, and she’s good with a knife, maybe even a long blade. Hearing that she’s your opposer does him no favors. 

You nodded to him, seeing how irritated he looked again. You knew he wasn’t upset at you, but this had to be your fault. You wanted to do everything Finnick wanted, because all he wanted from you in return was your survival. You were ruining everything whenever you acted out of selfish intention like this. Should have made the strike, should have won the match.

“I’m s-sorry.”

Your voice was soft, but not weary. You didn’t mean for all of these things to continuously happen, but they did. And Finnick, for the most part, was bearing the brunt of it all. 

“Don’t be sorry,” he huffed, sitting beside you. 

“I can’t go b-back and fix it.”

“It’s okay. Here’s what I want you to do,” he placed a hand on your shoulder, getting you to look at him. “You’re going into your evaluation today. You’ll have ten minutes to show them what you can do. I want you to go in there and put on a show, alright? Don’t hold anything back.”

“A s-show?” You knew why he was referring to it as that, but maybe a further explanation was required. 

“Give them what they want to see. As long as you score higher than Estelle on the board, you’ll be fine, okay? If she says anything, it’ll just look like a lesser tribute trying to smear a better one.”

You nodded. Yes. Okay. This was going to work. This had to work, because if it didn’t, the people would believe her. If she’s the better tribute, she has the power. You have to take that power away from her. 

“Lukas, that goes for you, too.”

-

Of everything to be thankful for in life, right now, all you could think of was ‘thank God I’m not in district 12.’

Because even waiting for districts one through three was hard enough. Your nervous energy was not well contained, having to sit still for so long and contemplate what you were going to do. Finnick tried to give you ideas on what you could show them, but he wasn’t allowed to make the decisions for you. That relied completely on the tributes. Whatever they decided to show, was what would be judged and scored. 

When they called for Lukas over the loudspeaker, your heart started racing. Ten minutes, and then it’s your turn. Maybe you wished you’d been in a latter district after all, the anxiety of being next was racking your brain of any other thoughts. 

You closed your eyes and tried to feel calm. A deep breath in and out should have helped, but after a few seconds the gut turning feeling was back, and you had to try and find a way to rid yourself of it. 

Ten minutes should have been longer. It flew past you when you wished it to last. 

Your name being called sent chills through you, but you didn’t let it show. You stood to your feet with confidence, leaving the room of tributes and facing the music for yourself. The large gathering of game managers, lead by this year’s maker, staring down and making their assumptions already. You weren’t going to give them anything but reason to like- nay, love you.

“Mercedes Blythe, district 4,” you shouted strongly, receiving the attention of the group. 

“You have ten minutes, you may begin.”

You nodded, turning to the items available. How can I show my strength in a way that will stand out from the others?

You immediately went for the rope, creating a small woven net that could house one of the heavily weighted balls on the stand. You quickly settled one into the net and tied it shut so the ball had no chance of falling out in the process of your little ‘show.’ 

You tied a small metal block onto the long end of the rope, using the weight to get it up and over the ceiling rafter. You stepped back behind one of the beams of the room to brace yourself before you started to hoist the ball into the air. That ball was easily a hundred pounds or heavier, which caught the attention of the men watching. You are indeed as strong as you look, if not much stronger. 

Once it’s high enough to be relatively out of sight, you tie the rope onto the beam, temporarily holding it there while you go for the body of the plastic dummy on the other side of the room. You stand it up beneath your ‘trap’ and make sure it stands securely on it’s own before rushing back to the rope on the beam. 

You look up to the men in the viewing box, seemingly very intrigued and excited based on where they think this is going. 

You untie the rope and allow the heavy ball to free fall towards the dummy. When it reaches the plastic, it shatters into several pieces on the ground. In their eyes, that’s as good as any kill in the hunger games. It’s intelligent, it’s strategic, and it takes the strain off of fighting someone physically. It’s quick, it’s efficient, and most of all, it’s something the viewers would want to see.

You return to the middle of the room, hands a bit red and chafed from the rope. You nod to them in thanks, wondering if your remaining time is required to be used. They seem to be utterly satisfied, and nod to you in reply. You take steps to leave, and they don’t stop you, but begin talking more amongst themselves. You hoped that was a good sign. 

-

Later in the night, the time was again spent in the pool, getting used to the depth of the waters, and having an easier time getting into them at all. 

You didn’t hesitate to get in this time. You stepped in by yourself and had stopped at the shallow end, waiting for Finnick to finish his lap before meeting you in the middle. 

“Look at you go,” he smiled wide, shaking the water from his hair in order to focus easier. His hair wasn’t long, but the part over his eyes dripped heavily with water every time he swam. “Think you can try kicking a little deeper today?” 

“Maybe. I’m s-still sore from the e-evaluation.”

“Right, the evaluation,” he started, unable to contain his hidden pride. “I’ve been meaning to tell you since dinner, but I heard what happened today.”

“Heard a-about what?” 

“What you did for your evaluation. Gotta say, I would’ve gone for the bricks instead of the ball…” he trailed, seeing your expression change to one of annoyance. “I’m kidding. You did amazing, apparently they were impressed.”

“They were?” you asked with hope. You had sincerely anticipated that they might have been, but hadn’t been sure until now. 

“Yeah, I overheard some stuff about how smart you were, too. You struck a lasting impression.”

“That’s w-what we wanted, right?” 

“That’s exactly what we wanted.”

You were so happy, your face lit up with the glow of the fluorescents from above hitting the vibrant waters below you. He took in how sweet your smile was, eyes wrinkling at the edges just from how wide it was. It was slightly uneven, your smile… but it was more charming, more personable. It was the kind of unevenness that wasn’t noticeable unless you were really looking, and he was. He was really looking, because he was momentarily enraptured. Had your eyes been this captivating all this time? No, he thinks, because I would have remembered being this deep in someone’s eyes before.

“Let’s just try and kick around some, okay? Just hold onto me and we’ll try and kick from here to the wall.”

Right through the deep end. It was a straight shot across, and not that far. You could do it, it wouldn’t be so hard. 

You nodded to him, your happiness made you far more eager to try. If you could impress even the game maker, then you could kick across this pool with the help of your mentor. 

You held tight to his shoulders, his hands keeping hold of your elbows in order to make you you didn’t slip away. You were trusting of him, and he didn’t want to break that trust by accidentally letting you fall into the deep water. 

“You set the pace, don’t go faster if you don’t feel like you can.” 

You found a rhythm that worked, working further away from the shallow end until your feet couldn’t touch if they tried. You tried your best to ignore the feeling of nothingness beneath you, pushing your feet back and forth to make it to the wall. 

“Almost there, keep going,” he encouraged, looking back over his shoulder to see that it was within ten feet. 

Your breathing started to change when you looked down into the water, seeing the dark at the bottom of the pool beginning to swallow your legs. Your feet stopped moving and you froze, instantly sinking down, if not for the hold Finnick had on you. You clutched tightly to his arms, looking back up and kicking your feet again. 

“Hey, you’re doing good, just keep going.”

You felt like crying, the sting of tears behind your eyes as you looked at him, so encouraging and so determined to help. And you kept focusing on that. He’s trying to help, you’re making it difficult. You need to act like you want this or he’ll quit.

“I’m t-trying,” but you started making less ground, because the way you kicked was no longer steady or in any one direction. It was frantic and out of control, and you nearly let go of his arms. 

“Think of something good.” 

The Sun, my shell collection, my mother, the sand… it’s not working. Finnick, he’s right here, those sea green eyes and gorgeous tan skin. His blonde hair falling in wet curls around his face. 

So you keep your eyes aligned with his, and the next thing you know…

“You made it,” he smiled, letting you take one arm from his and grip the wall of the pool. You immediately pulled yourself out, unable to stay in the water after your little freak out. You were happy to have gotten that far, but you needed a break. 

“I d-did it.”

“You did,” he crossed his arms over the pavement, coming closer to where you sat yourself down, a decent space between you and the edge. “Wanna try and paddle some?” 

“N-no,” you shook your head, the thought of it making you want to jump away. “I d-don’t think I can.”

“It’s okay…” except for the fact that it wasn’t okay, because tomorrow is the last day. There’s no time to swim after this. Tomorrow is the big reveal, the time when the scores are released. It’s the Caesar Flickerman interview. It’s the night before an early morning, where sleep is crucial. 

“Finnick?” 

The way you said his name so clearly caught his attention, the way it rolled off your tongue without issue or stutter or even a hesitation. He much liked the way it sounded. 

“Yeah?”

“T-thank you,” you knew he would probably say something stupid, telling you there was no need, or that it wasn’t necessary to thank him for doing his job. “For trying t-to help me.”

He smiled, reaching out for your hand, settled on the ground in front of you. He took it and gave a small squeeze. It was so reaffirming, his gentle touch. You don’t remember watching his games, but you know that now, seeing him like this, you couldn’t possibly believe he’s capable of harming even the smallest of flies. You don’t know a world where you’ve seen his ability, and you’re content to die in this one, where you never will. 

“I promised myself a victor…” … and I hope it’s you.

He doesn’t know why he favors you. In the beginning he felt sorry for you, and wanted to help. After that it became that he understood you to a degree, and didn’t want for you to face the fate he saw so many succumb to. Now? He’s not even quite sure what it is. He likes your company, enjoys the expressions you give him. He likes the little things about you that you’ve shared on different occasions. You collect shells, and you like the color green. You really like pears because of the funny way they’re shaped. He wants to know you more, wants you to survive long enough that he can try to…

But your will is weak, and you believe you can’t possibly survive, though your body is strong and your mind is quick. He believes you can do this, but that isn’t enough. You have to believe it, too. 

“Can you get back in for a second? I have an idea.”

-

“How exciting! I’ve been told that three tributes this year have been given a perfect score!”

The TV speakers were loud in your ears, but you couldn’t find any room to complain. 

“Can you sit down? You’re making us nervous,” Lukas jokingly asked Arbin, who was pacing in front of the screen as the scores were beginning to be read off. It had only been one tribute before the man started getting antsy, fluttering about the room as if there was any method to his madness. 

“My apologies,” he steps out of the way, sitting in a chair farther away from the group. 

“District One female, Estelle Votross,” Caesar spoke, reading off of the card in front of him. “With a score of ten.” 

You mentally sighed out. There’s no way you scored higher than her. You’d be lucky to even match the score. If you did that, you could at least be grateful. 

Finnick seemed to match your level of anxiety, but didn’t show it as much on the outside. He tried to hide it from you, knowing how difficult it is, to sit and wait. 

As district three was wrapping up, you were tightening up. Mags had a hand on each of your shoulders. She was hoping for the best, like all else. Even if you didn’t get it, you knew she would be there to console your dreary minds. She was like a slice of home in the hell hole. A ray of light that was shed without a word spoken. You wondered if someday you’d end up like her… but that’s unlikely. 

“District four Male, Lukas Artanhour, with a score of…” he smirked, having already seen the score, and holding it out for suspense. “Twelve.”

Everyone’s jaws dropped onto the floor. There was a moment where you completely forgot you had yet to receive your score, you were simply too happy for him. 

“Lukas!” Arbin cheered, his hands raising in the air in disbelief. “A perfect score!”

“Don’t get too excited, they said there were two others. The competition must be crazy this year,” Lukas remained humble, because he’d been learning just how quickly your arrogance can become your enemy. He wouldn’t die to stupidity, he was certain of that. 

“Even still, you’re at the top of the food chain right now. Remember, that means sponsors.” Finnick was elevated in mood, but settled again quickly when Caesar held up the card with your name. 

“District four female, Mercedes Blythe…” 

You sat back in your seat, closing your eyes and hearing how loudly your heart beat in comparison to how loud the speakers were. You breathed in deeply, holding it until you heard his next words. 

“With another score of twelve.” 

Your eyes shot open, and you stood to your feet. You could not have expected it. It didn’t seem possible. You aren’t a career, you have no physical training. Only a life of lifting and loading. Apparently in the capitol, that’s enough to get you a perfect score. 

“It’s me!” you shouted, hugging Lukas as he stood to meet you.

He started rambling on about how the arena better watch out for district four. You couldn’t barely hear it, you were too overwhelmed. Everyone around you both was a tornado of joy and excitement, and you had to try and settle yourself down. 

You turned to Finnick and didn’t even think twice before wrapping both arms around his shoulders. He embraced you without hesitation, his smile uncontained as he pulled you in closer. The swell of satisfaction he felt was unmatched. He’s had volunteers every year since his own games… and yet the two stood before him were the best he’d ever seen. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he spoke under his breath. When he inhaled, the air around you was blissfully sweet. Maybe it was just the moment, but he couldn’t let go of you yet. 

It didn’t matter, because Mags and Arbin were surrounding Lukas, giving him the attention he deserved after hearing what they did. 

Mags of course glanced over her shoulder, the embrace not yet ended. She smiled, seeing something she hadn’t in a long time. 

Finnick was opening up again.

 It had been years since she saw the look of sincerity on his face, the relaxed and gentle look that came with his comfort. He’d found comfort in you, that much she could see, and even though she knew it was fleeting, and you may be gone tomorrow, she was happy for him to have it while it lasted. It may be the last time…

‘I told you this was a good idea,’ Finnick laughed, his face soon going back beneath the waves to keep himself afloat. 

You were on his back, paddling and kicking through the water, but using him as a deceive of floatation, as if he were a raft of some sort. 

‘Finnick, I t-think that maybe I c-can try and swim, now.’

He wasn’t quite sure if he’d heard you right. 

‘Are you sure?’ He found the edge of the pool and let you grab on. ‘I don’t want you to try it if you’re not ready.’

You nodded, it was understood that this was a risk, but in your head you felt it was calculated. He’s right here, he won’t let you get hurt.

‘I’m sure.’

And while keeping your eyes focused on him, you pushed away from the wall, falling slightly into the water before kicking your feet and using your arms to cross the water and keep your head above it. You breathed slightly harsher than before, but it was controlled. He followed you, still… keeping a safe distance that he could reach out and grab you at a moment’s notice. But you were doing it. Muscle memory has not failed you after all. It was so deeply ingrained into your mind that you couldn’t swim, but it was not because you lacked the ability, it was because you lacked the emotional strength to conquer your fear of it. 

‘Atta girl, just like that. See if you can get to the other side,’ he encouraged, watching closely but keeping his optimistic smile wide on his face. 

When you reached the shallow waters, and got to the steps, you sat down on the top one, your expression an abundance of joy. You did it. You swam across the pool. By yourself. You can swim and survive in that arena. 

‘I knew you could do it.’

‘I t-think I knew I could, t-too.’

-

tags(open): @thepassionatereader @i-voluntears @secretsicanthideanymore @mystargirl-interlude @c4ttheart @lilibrn

[evidence-based-activism]

do you believe that men and women have inherent differences in their brain structure at birth and throughout life? and this does not imply superiority of one over another, merely differences in structure leading to different tendencies along a statistical distribution by gender. for instance women tend to have larger corpus collosums meaning better communication between hemispheres and emotional integration, while men tend to have higher visuospatial abilities which is explanatory for more men in fields like mechanical engineering. exceptions to the rule are the rule, so women can be aeronautical engineers and men can be heartfelt poets. The idea though is that we are born with natural tendencies.

on the individual level forgetting about gender momentarily, certain people are born with natural inclinations towards verbal or mathematical abilities that are notable in early childhood

i understand the top down society and roles change your brain idea which is absolutely true, so there is energy for change in the idea of abolishing gender roles, but do you disagree that there is any bottom up force? especially with (generally) a chromosome of difference between sexes?

Hi Anon!

Sex Differences in Adult Brains

This 2022 review [1] examines two large scale studies from 2021 [2-3]. These two studies both examined sex differences in the human brain, but came to different conclusions. The first [2] directly examined a large sample of brain scans and found small sex differences in many brain areas. In contrast, the second [3] performed a meta-synthesis of three decades of research "emphasizing meta-analyses and other large studies" and found sex differences in the brain are explained by differences in overall body size.

The review [1] I mentioned takes the stance that "differences in the mean value of largely overlapping distributions, and they show small-to-moderate effect sizes; however, we do not understand their microstructural basis, the causal factors shaping them, or if they facilitate sex differences or equivalences in behavior and cognition", essentially agreeing with the direct brain analysis [2] (but emphasizing the limitations of this finding) and suggesting that meta-analyses and reviews like [3] fail to find differences due to methodological heterogeneity.

In response to this, the authors of [3] released a response [4] in 2024 pointing out that while large scale studies do often find significant (but small) sex differences in the brain, they do not find consistent differences (i.e., one study may find brain area A is larger in males while another finds the same area is larger in females). In addition they note that large sample sizes inevitably "detect statistically significant interactions,including sex differences, of clinically trivial and meaningless magnitude” [emphasis mine].

Personally, I'm not sure if the distinction between "no sex differences once corrected for body size" vs "very small sex differences once corrected for body size" is really all that important. In either case, differences within each sex are larger than differences between each sex, suggesting that it is some other factor underlying the differences (if they do indeed exist).

Sex Differences in Children's Brains

In addition to the above, simply finding small sex differences also wouldn't tell us the cause of these differences. The above studies were based on adults, and – as you've acknowledged – there's a significant difference between how we treat female and male people in society. Given the brain's highly plastic (changeable, adaptable) nature, it's probable that observed differences could be the result of this socialization.

The idea, then, is to look for sex differences in very young children, who have not been exposed to such gendered socialization yet. For example, this study [5] suggests there are small differences in regional brain volumes at birth and this study [6] claims to find small sex differences in fetal brain connectivity.

However, the conclusion that these results support biological differences between the sexes relies on the assumption that there are no differences in socialization at these stages. Other work [7] suggests that this is not a fair assumption, showing that "women who learn the sex of their fetus before birth are engaging in gendered verbal interactions throughout pregnancy." Given that we know children's language [8] and social [9] development begin in the womb, this difference in treatment suggests that gendered socialization can also begin in the womb.

If Sex Differences Do Exist, Do They Matter?

Beyond this, there appears to be a general assumption that if small sex differences are found they are also relevant. However, there's no current consensus on how or why any proposed brain sex differences would produce observed sex differences in mental disorders or behaviors [3, 4].

This is important because it's not so much the existence of a difference than the relevance of a difference that interests people. What does it matter whether there's a sex difference in a brain region's volume if it isn't related to sex differences in behavior? We're concerned with sex differences in the body (e.g., sex differences in lung size) because they have an impact on some relevant factor in people's lives (e.g., equity in sports, differences in lung disease [10]); the same is true of our interest in the brain, so the fact that we don't see reliable sex-driven connections between brains and behavior suggests that any differences may not be of particular interest.

Sexual Dimorphism in the Body

And there are sex differences in the body. In fact, the article [4] points out that the one reliable sex difference in brains (overall volume difference) is smaller than similar size differences in other organs.

This article [11] discuss the underlying factors (genetics and hormones) for human sex differences. For a single system's example, this review [12] discusses "sex-influenced immune responses" and what specific relevance they have to understanding and treating human disease. The book Invisible Women [13] discuss many more sex differences, how much of society ignores these differences, and the negative effects this has on women.

All of this is to say that I actually wouldn't have been surprised to see sex differences in the human brain. (Although I would still point out the tenuous connections between brain and behavior.) That being said, current research suggests that sex is not a reliable determinant of brain anatomy or physiology.

Individual Predispositions

To address your question of predisposition: It is likely that individual predispositions (i.e., genetic predispositions) play a role in some behaviors and cognition (the nature part of nature and nurture).

However, current evidence indicates that these predisposition are unlikely to be linked to sex.

I hope this helps you! Let me know if you have follow up questions!

References below the cut:

DeCasien, A. R., Guma, E., Liu, S., & Raznahan, A. (2022). Sex differences in the human brain: a roadmap for more careful analysis and interpretation of a biological reality. Biology of Sex Differences, 13(1), 43.

Williams, C. M., Peyre, H., Toro, R., & Ramus, F. (2021). Neuroanatomical norms in the UK Biobank: The impact of allometric scaling, sex, and age. Human Brain Mapping, 42(14), 4623-4642.

Eliot, L., Ahmed, A., Khan, H., & Patel, J. (2021). Dump the “dimorphism”: Comprehensive synthesis of human brain studies reveals few male-female differences beyond size. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 125, 667-697.

Eliot, L. (2024). Remembering the null hypothesis when searching for brain sex differences. Biology of sex Differences, 15(1), 14.

Khan, Y. T., Tsompanidis, A., Radecki, M. A., Dorfschmidt, L., APEX Consortium, Austin, T., ... & Baron-Cohen, S. (2024). Sex Differences in Human Brain Structure at Birth. bioRxiv, 2024-06.

Wheelock, M. D., Hect, J. L., Hernandez-Andrade, E., Hassan, S. S., Romero, R., Eggebrecht, A. T., & Thomason, M. E. (2019). Sex differences in functional connectivity during fetal brain development. Developmental cognitive neuroscience, 36, 100632.

Barnes, M. W. (2015). Anticipatory socialization of pregnant women: Learning fetal sex and gendered interactions. Sociological perspectives, 58(2), 187-203.

Gervain, J. (2018). The role of prenatal experience in language development. Current opinion in behavioral sciences, 21, 62-67.

Castiello, U., Becchio, C., Zoia, S., Nelini, C., Sartori, L., Blason, L., ... & Gallese, V. (2010). Wired to be social: the ontogeny of human interaction. PloS one, 5(10), e13199.

Carey, M. A., Card, J. W., Voltz, J. W., Arbes Jr, S. J., Germolec, D. R., Korach, K. S., & Zeldin, D. C. (2007). It's all about sex: male-female differences in lung development and disease. Trends in endocrinology and metabolism: TEM, 18(8), 308.

Federman, D. D. (2006). The biology of human sex differences. New England Journal of Medicine, 354(14), 1507-1514.

Wilkinson, N. M., Chen, H. C., Lechner, M. G., & Su, M. A. (2022). Sex differences in immunity. Annual review of immunology, 40(1), 75-94.

Perez, C. C. (2019). Invisible women: Data bias in a world designed for men. Abrams.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

not to continue beating a dead horse but i saw the og post earlier ( got curious when i saw your posts ) and the line about the comparison with shizuo is so funny to me. like yeah it is absolutely true that shizuo is doing his best to carry on with his day and people keep fucking with him etc etc BUT. unclear how to phrase this but the underlying implication that shizuo is "better" less so because of his actions themselves and more so because the "negative" things about him ( his anger issues obvi ) are beyond his control and therefore not to be held against him entirely whereas izaya's action are entirely in his control and of his own volition ( which does such a disservice to both characters imo ) no sir absolutely no impulsive poorly calculated decisions that have consequences for him later. you fell for the character's facade meant to be dismantled by the viewer etc

we love beating dead horses in this house. say something stupid and we get to clown on you forever. those are the rules

ALSO YEAH LITERALLY TEXUALLY IZAYAS ISSUES ARE OUT OF HIS CONTROL. like.

literally right there. and you cant even be like "uuuhjffnfnbut in the anime" LOOK CLOSELY. duarara rewards reading between the lines and izaya as a character starts off with a facade that slowly crumbles and if you still believe the facade by the end then you're stupid point blank.

which like, its Fine to not be able to analyze a show, its whatever, its not a thing everyone can do ESPECIALLY as they watch a show in real time for the first time. but dont act like you had some kind of Grand Revalation about the show and then talk down to people who have been here for YEARS, decades even, because they disagree with you, and then insult shit like their age! this guy just made something up about izaya and then "dunked" on his fans because of this imagined attribute

and yeah treating shizuo as Absolved bc he Didnt Mean To does a huge disservice to him as well, wether or not he Meant To, things still happened and people were still hurt, the NUANCE behind it is whats important!! i do strongly believe that if you want to truly understand this show you need to do away with the idea of "good people" and "bad people." novody is a wholly Good Person and nobody is a wholly Bad Person and people are COMPLICATED, especially the people in durarara, and if you try to slot them into Good Person and Bad Person categorization then all youll do is do a disservice to the characters and the writing itself

and i have talked about this EXTENSIVELY on here but izaya is important to me because he seems to be intentionally coded to be a sociopath. like, i said this in my other post:

he was a young boy with clear mental problems, to the point where his father instilled that people love into him in order to prevent a worse outcome and help him be more normal. the way this is framed, as a young boy exhibiting a concerning disconnect from other people to a point where it scares a usually neglectful father into acting- is very reminiscent of media depictions (and real life examples) of parents worrying that their child is a sociopath. this could very well have been intentional, and narita EXPLICITLY makes a POINT to state that izaya is the way that he is because he has a fragile heart- any sort of genuine effection and a betrayal of it could shatter him.

and it means a lot to me that in a show full of subverting Tropes About Bad People, "the sociopath" as a trope was one of them and it ended up making an incredibly raw and honest portrayal of what having aspd is like- both in the hurting other people sense AND the suffering of the person actually with the disorder, which is something not really explored at ALL in Media About Sociopaths. i talk a lot more about izaya's possible coding HERE if youre curious, but izaya as a character is very important to me because its a kind of portrayal not really seen. so it sucks when people completely disregard any and all nuance behind him bc he makes them ~uncomfy~ and then has the audacity to make it our problem as well

also this is just an aside based on my own dislike of him at age 16, plus i earned the right to be a jackass tbh: a lot of people hate izaya bc on some level they know theyd be one of those suicide girls that has no real answer to why they want to kill themselves and flouder when asked about it, not understanding the weight of suicide in the slightest and yet still saying that theyll do it

(know or at least THINK; i was pretty insecure back then but i really wasnt Like That, i knew full well what suicide meant. but i wanna be mean so im built different. just me)

anyway yeah fuck that hater ass bitch

ALSO the idea that shizuo is in the clear bc "people keep fucking with him" is LAUGHABLE bc that includes people like. asking him a question or being mildly annoying or in the wrong place at the wrong time. dumb to the fucking ass!!!!

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

some midge/susie thoughts (and a few other things!) on the final episode:

that scene in the restaurant was just gorgeous, god damn. susie explaining her past with hedy, so poignant and beautifully acted (DAMN, we are losing one of the great tv performances with alex borstein as susie!) and even though it was just one monologue it painted such a rich picture that it told you all you needed to know.

and midge being like “i know exactly what she saw in you” and then saying she thinks susie will fall in love again and susie asking her “were you ever a blonde”??? like, the underlying vibe of susie being like “i’m in love with you and it’s dumb and i’m dumb and it will never go anywhere and i’m resigned to that, i’ve always been resigned to that, i can’t believe i fell for another impossible rich girl” but midge being like “uh actually maybe it’s not so dumb because i completely adore you and you’re my #1 life partner and the only one who truly understands this fire of ambition that drives me at my core* because you feel that way too” felt so tantalizingly just around the corner. it felt just like how i always imagined romantic feelings between them would bloom if they ever did, so it was surreal and dreamy to feel like i was watching a tiny bit of that unfold onscreen before my eyes.

(* i mean, lenny also understands it, but he was like her handsome man comic fairy godmother more than ever destined to be an everyday presence in her life.)

and midge saying in her standup that she doesn’t think she’s gonna have a permanent life partner-y relationship with a man anymore? and then she doesn’t? HELLOOOOOOO!

that shot of susie putting her hand to her heart and her and midge gazing at each other after midge’s standup ............ gorgeous!! gorgeous!!!!!

them as old ladies calling each other to watch jeopardy on vhs together and press play at the exact same time! midge being all fancy and susie being a bird hippie! midge sending susie a bird! susie naming the bird “whore”! making each other laugh so, so much, calling back to midge wanting to marry someone who makes her laugh!!!!! bro, i can’t believe i just watched midge and susie do grace and frankie romance.

45 YEARS TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this just felt very “if i want to make this romantic then i can because it’s all there” and i’m so pleased and pleasantly surprised. i think they really (deliberately?) leaned into the subtext in these last episodes to very wonderful and rich effect.

also, this episode was just so, so charming and fun! i was surprised that we didn’t get more flashforwards with all the other characters, but actually i like the idea of just having those moments as sort of snapshots of future life rather than definitively told stories. and all the supporting characters really got moments to shine and it was delightful and warm. (and imogene was there! in her black beret! imogene!)

also, moishe and shirley in the shower, lololololololol!!! that was incredible. i wish that would happen to all my otps who need some epiphany time.

and abe and rose trying to summon the cab was a beautifully choreographed exercise in silliness that really just felt so ASP in the best way.

joel was very, very sweet in this episode. good on you, joel!

i am sad that we didn’t get to see midge & susie’s makeup scene from the 90s!!! but also: how fun to imagine in fanfic. in my fanfic they kiss and no one can stop me.

no other show will ever play this much barbra streisand in the soundtrack and that makes me sad. :’( every single time i heard her wonderful voice bless a montage on this show my heart soared.

i loved this season and I LOVE THIS SHOW! what a great show to have five seasons of to rewatch forever, knowing that midge and susie will be together for the rest of their lives (w/ one tragic five year blip) living complicatedly & soulmates-ily ever after! beautiful work, palladinos! thank you and goodnight!