me when the little baby empanada who already protected her slightly younger siblings on purgatory island gets to quesadilla island full of new dangers & gets very close to her older sister pomme, who is a living breathing example of the developing mindset that “you must be a soldier always prepared for danger in order to protect the happiness of you and your family” is necessary. they relate over anxiety, pomme gives her a protection helmet for her birthday and shares tips of survival. they are children.
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im trying my best not to think too deeply about some of the things I see on here but. they irritate me so.
can I ask why, less than ten shows from the end of the american leg of the tour, we are STILL making comments about joe and pete’s “lack of energy.” or about how they both look “bored” — or, my favorite being, “wilted flowers without any sunlight.” im not black, so I don’t really feel comfortable unpacking the racial microaggression that lies within that statement, but as someone who has struggled with substance abuse, I feel much more comfortable talking about that.
so let’s talk about pre-hiatus show “energy” for a moment.
those beloved pre-hiatus shows where both of them are wizzing around the stage, spinning around, and throwing themselves on the floor — I would bet money that a majority of those shows that joe & pete were high or drunk or some combination in between. joe was an addict (something he openly admitted to being in his book) and while I’m unsure of pete ever used the word outright, he had his own struggles with substance abuse as well.
the “energy” you so desperately crave from the boys, the kind you so desperately want back, was a result of that addiction. joe admitted that he turned to drugs and alcohol before shows as a way to deal with his crippling anxiety and imposter syndrome. and pete has openly admitted to forgetting entire shows bc he was drunk or high or something else.
while yes, the boys don’t thrash around or writhe on the floor like they used to for a variety of reasons: they’re older, joe has had multiple back surgeries for his chronic back condition — but also. they aren’t performing in a drunken, drugged haze anymore. they’re giving us all the energy and happiness that they can, while 100% SOBER.
for me, i’d happily take their sobriety over some “pre-hiatus” energy.
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Very interesting (concerning) that while there’s a general consensus of “of course there’s queer Muslims and Jews and Christians we love them!” But that love is conditional. You can be religious but not too religious. You can be spiritual as long as it’s not actually that important to you. You can be observant of your religion’s dogma and traditions as long as you keep it away from everybody else.
But I don’t want to cut myself into smaller pieces. I don’t want to take a part of my life and culture and being and hide it away behind closed doors. It’s just…hypocritical and disappointing when people, who clamor about their love for the contradictory and self-authentic, hate when they’re confronted with it.
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thinking about how in the manga Hange and the rest of the dead scouts smile at Levi before fading away, meanwhile in the anime Hange looks so pensive and sad instead, gazing at Levi with so much regret in her eyes because she had to leave him alone, because he's the last one now and he has to carry everyone's hearts forward even when they're no longer there with him.
Thinking about how Hange didn't want to leave Levi, how they asked Levi if he thinks their dead comrades are watching them, and Levi did not reply, but then when Hange died he whispers "goodbye, Hange. Watch us."
I am really so not okay over these two, I am absolutely Not normal about levihan and their relationship and how much pain and love there is inside both of them, and how these two -the pain and the love- can coexist so perfectly even after Hange is gone and Levi is the last one of the OG scouts left.
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(View in another tab for better quality)
I may have listened to Into the West at the wrong moment
You can see me getting more and more tired the further you read. I spent like 20 hours on this and all my spoons (and skills) were used on the landscape-
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one thing about me is you literally cannot make me second guess myself. i know who i am and you behind an anonymous mask will never make me feel bad about anything i’m doing. i’m a literal princess, you cannot get to me. what’s for me is for me and what isn’t simply won’t cross my mind. while you’re on my blog looking like the angry meme i’m out in real life pushing my dreams and making money. thank you 💕
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