#do you want to see bodychecking

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Congrats on 5K!!! You deserve it!!!!!!

Would you ever write about BBF jake and Baby B meeting? When did they meet? How did they meet? What was it like? Did they like the other right away? If you are planning in addressing this in the main story, or just don’t want to write it, please feel free to ignore this :)

Thank you babe! Yay a BBF request!! I always imagined them meeting when Bradley and Jake were in high school and Baby B was maybe 3 or so years behind. I think that, even though he likely wasn't physically attracted to her at first, Jake immediately found her to be interesting. Basically, she very quickly became someone he admired and respected. So, without further ado, here you go. Hope you enjoy!

5k Weekend Bash Drabbles

Brother's Best Friend - How They Met

Jake Seresin x Reader

You’re sitting with your brand new, middle school boyfriend on your brand new, middle school bed spread that’s recently replaced your Little Mermaid quilt. You’ve got NSYNC posters all over your walls and you’re very proud of the overall aesthetic you’ve created in your room. Your personal space, which, like always, is rudely infiltrated by your annoying brother the moment he gets home from school.

A sudden crash – Bradley bodychecking your door – makes you and your boyfriend jump apart in a panic even though all you were doing was holding hands. The next moment, Bradley waltzes into your room without even a knock.

“Door stays open, remember?” he reminds you with a shake of his head, giving your brand new boyfriend a dirty look.

“Get out!” you yell, throwing a stuffed dinosaur at his head.

Bradley ducks and the dinosaur lands in the hands of the dreamiest guy you’ve ever seen. Obviously, this is a new friend of Bradley’s, because you would’ve remembered seeing that face before. He enters your bedroom after Bradley, looking around with a smirk. The guy is gorgeous, of course; he’s in high school, unlike your brand new middle school boyfriend.

You glare at the two of them. “Newsflash: this isn’t a public park. You can’t just barge in here with your friends.”

“I wouldn’t have to barge in here if you kept your door open like you’re supposed to,” Bradley says, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Ever heard of privacy?” you bite back grumpily, heading straight for your brother and shoving him back the way he came. “We’re busy.”

“Doing what?!” Bradley exclaims with a laugh as you push him and his friend out the door.

You give your brother a withering look. “Doing it, obviously. Not to mention all the drugs.”

Bradley’s cute friend snorts trying to hold back a laugh while Bradley stares at you in outrage. “Door open,” he warns, backing away and then heading to his own room down the hall.

His friend lingers at your door for another moment, watching you with amusement. He glances over your shoulder at your brand new boyfriend before looking back down at you. “Meth?” he asks casually.

You blink at him in surprise. Is Bradley’s smoking hot high school friend joking? With you? “Well, yeah,” you respond with a completely straight face. Humor is, thankfully, one of your strong suits.

“Jake, you coming?” Bradley calls. “I found the tabs, man.” He’s waving around his acoustic guitar in the doorway to his room.

Jake nods at Bradley and then glances back at you. “Take it easy, Baby Bradshaw,” he says.

“Actually, it’s - ” but Jake walks away before you get to tell him your name.

5k Celly

[blixabargelds]

hi! can I ask why some many people think that Roman has an ed? not a criticism, just genuinely curious cause I never noticed any signs!

i first started thinking it from day one for no reason other than i hc lots of my faves with eds because i love angst and have suffered with eating disorders therefore i like to project/ find it easy to write etc haha but over the course of the show there’s been lots of things tbh.

very early on in the show we see him bodychecking pinching his stomach etc he looks unhappy with his body. he’s very rarely seen eating anything other than fruit, frequently at tables he’s the only one not eating. this gifset is a really good show of that.

the roy’s in general all seem to have poor relationships with food, which has been confirmed in the recently released script books (“the summer of competitive eating disorders”), but roman especially has several fraught memories relating to food (being forced to eat chocolate cake (dog food?), getting beaten for ordering lobster, “if you wanted roast chicken and i wanted steak we always had chicken, i would fucking tantrum because i never had steak, i never won.”)

i think kieran did irreparable damage with this interview (he’s so smart, this was also over a year ago, before the scripts released anything canon).

roman’s relationship to his body is consistently distant and negative (he’s not a real person). he was, as far as we know, the only one who got hit by logan. he’s the shortest, he was sent away to military school which is notoriously regimented and harsh on the body, he was shoved into a cage, he was beaten, and depending on your reading into it there’s also plenty of hints that he might have been sexually abused in some way. he’s seen as the weak dog. he’s constantly treated as such.

i think having control over food is a way he could take control over a body that’s never felt like his, that no one else has ever respected so why should he? i don’t think it’s all about being thin, although we definitely see signs of him being obsessed with his image. he was never going to be the biggest, the manliest, but he could be in control. an eating disorder could be his private thing, the thing he could do well at, no one knows how strong he’s actually being by denying what his body needs. that’s impressive, okay? that counts for something, surely.

he seeks comfort in harm, he doesn’t know what his dad means when he asks if he even made contact, he’d already forgotten, promise. he asks to be degraded, he jumps into a mob asking to be hurt, he needs it, he’s been taking beatings his whole life, he speaks this language. he’s got the gift of the gab when it comes to destroying himself. he’s hurt and he’s hurting but he chose it, he’s got control. he has.

[abyssal-ali]

Ice to Meet You

(I'm sorry about the title, that's all I could come up with when I was struck with the panic of needing a title when I posted)

Pairing: Daminette

Rating: G

WC: ~1.1k

A/N: This Maribat Meetcute was inspired by my parents<3 (they knew each other before this, but not very well, and this did happen). I was telling Ella about this, and we decided it was meet-cute-worthy, so I typed this up in an hour this morning. Beta-read by grammarly and that's it. Enjoy!

Note about this AU: Figure-skating AU, no capes AU. Damian wasn't raised by an assassin...I have no clue how he was raised, actually, but it wasn't by an assassin.

Marinette wiggled her toes in her skates, making sure she hadn’t cut off her circulation with that last tight knot, and stepped onto the ice. It was still pretty early, so only a couple similarly dedicated skaters were on the ice, leaving plenty of room for Marinette to start out with some basic moves as she continued warming up.

Her coach, Dick, should be here in about twenty minutes to go over her newly revised programme and inform her about her decision to try pair skating, so she focused on becoming completely loose and prepared for trying any new skills.

She got lost in the music in her ears, flying over the ice in contentment.

Coming out of a spin, Marinette saw Dick across the ice, talking to Mar’i, who was also on her team. Ever since Marinette had joined this skating group, she had gotten along great with Dick and viewed him as an older brother, playing pranks and joking with him when he wasn’t in coach mode.

Their formal instruction would start in fifteen minutes, so she still had time to play with him and Mar’i. Snickering evilly, she dug her picks into the ice and took off, gaining velocity as she sped across the cleared ice toward her unsuspecting victim.

“Dick!” she yelled happily, just before she made contact with him and sent him slamming into the boards.

Mar’i looked at her in horror.

“Hey, Mar’i! Don’t worry, your dad’s fine, we do this all the time.”

Mar’i shook her head and pointed at Dick, who was on the bleachers tying his skates, but had looked up at the commotion and was laughing. “That’s my dad, ‘Nette.”

Marinette turned to see who she’d just bodychecked and gasped in horror at seeing the star male figure skater of the group, Damian Wayne.

“I am so sorry, I thought you were Dick, we greet each other like that all the time. Are you hurt? I am so, so sorry for that!”

Forest green eyes met her own as Damian pointedly brushed a speck of snow off his sleeve.

“Fortunately for you, I am accustomed to my brother’s exuberant greetings as well. I will not hold this against you, as it would not bode well for our partnership to hold such things against one another.” Damian held his hand out in greeting.

“Damian Wayne, your new partner.”

“What?!”

Dick glided over to the small group in the corner. “I see you’ve already met, good. Marinette, you and Damian will be partners for the foreseeable future. Damian has decided to relax for a while after the Grand Prix, so he will be paired with you and can guide you through this learning curve. Any questions or concerns from either of you?”

Marinette shook her head, still a little in shock that the Damian Wayne was relaxing–apparently by skating with her? “Maybe later, but none right now.”

“Just one,” said Damian. “I want to see Marinette in action before anything else.”

Dick nodded at her. “The routine before this new one will be fine. Good luck!” He followed Mar’i off the ice, the traitors, to give her all the space she needed to complete her routine.

Damian hopped over the boards, not bothering with the gate, and that was completely unfair how good he looked doing that. (She’d tried once and almost cut herself. After that, she used the gate like a normal person. Dang being short!)

Dick queued up the music for her routine and Marinette took her opening spot on the ice as the opening notes played over the sound system.

Three and a half minutes later she took a bow, breathing deeply to calm her racing heart.

Damian had looked impressed and even smiled a bit at one of her flirty moves!

Thankfully, he seemed to have actually put the bodyslamming into the boards behind them, although Marinette still felt bad.

Maybe she could bring him some baking from when she inevitably stress-baked and overthought tonight? That sounded like a good idea.

“You skate well,” complimented Damian, as Dick and Mar’i skated over.

“Thank you.”

“That was great, ‘Nette! This new routine I have for you should be perfect for you, it builds off the skills you learned for this one. But first, just practice skating with Damian and hang out off-ice to build trust and friendship. It’s important to have that on- and off-ice. Of course, you don’t have to be blood-bound besties or anything, but be friendly; it’ll come in handy quite often when you’re skating together. Get to know each other well.”

Dick turned to Damian and placed his hands heavily on his shoulders, looking into his eyes. “I hate that you’re taller than me even when I’m in skates,” he grumbled. “Do not scare Marinette off with your intensity, and actually get to know her, please. I know you’re used to pairing with Rachel, but I’m sure you’ll get along just fine with Marinette if you try to get to know her.”

“Tt. I never said I would be anything less than courteous.” Damian turned to Marinette. “May I have your phone number so we can contact each other outside of the rink?”

“Uh…yeah, sure.” Marinette dug her phone out of her bag and handed it to Damian.

Dick and Mar’i exchanged glances behind Damian’s back, and Marinette wondered just how true the rumours of his standoffishness and cold-heartedness were.

“There, we have each other’s numbers. Text me when you’re free for dinner.” Damian handed her phone back and stepped back onto the ice, smoothly gliding across the surface.

Marinette looked questioningly at Dick.

“Uh…let’s head back to my office and we can discuss what to do next.”

Once they were safely in the hallway and Damian couldn’t overhear, Dick whispered to Marinette, “I’m surprised at how well he’s taken to you. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing, and if he gives you a hard time, come to me. His old partner quit and wanted to focus on a different path in life, so he’s still a little sore about that, but I think he needed something new, anyways. You’ll be good for him.”

Marinette smiled, a little less nervous. “I can’t deny being curious about him. I hope our friendship-slash-partnership goes well.”

“It will!” Dick beamed at her optimistically, and Marinette remembered the little smile on his face when he saw her routine.

Yeah, this would be fun.

○•○•○•○•○

In case you couldn't tell, I know nothing about the technicalities of figure skating. If I got something wrong...please ignore it:)

And if you're wondering why Marinette didn't know it was Damian, they're young adults here and he's about half an inch taller than Dick, to Dick's dismay, and they look similar from the back. Also, he's been in Europe competing at the Grand Prix, or their training schedules have no overlap, so they haven't met yet.

Any feedback welcome, including constructive criticism. Hope you enjoyed!💜

Taglist: @questioning-blob-of-fog @jennifer-rose123

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I'm relapsing. The worst is that I am actively making choices that are leading to self destruction. It's like I can see myself from the outside and do all these stupid things fully knowing it's not good, but I still let it happen.

I'm searching for th-nspø a lot, and I let myself get triggered by emaciated and dying body, consumed by jealousy. I think ultimately, I just want to exist less. I struggle a lot with self worth and self love, and feel like I don't deserve anything.

It's a problem that is getting heavy: I ask the permission for everything as if I was not capable or worthy of taking decisions or being my own person (asking if I can drink, look at something, go in my room, go to the toilets...). And I only feel relaxed or at least at peace when I self destruct (exhausting myself by exercising, restricting my food intake...)

I started taking bodychecks pictures again yesterday and making a bunch of rules I have to follow in my notes (such as walking several hours a day, drinking a lot of water when I'm hungry, exercise more....).

Relapsing feels like coming home, even tho the home isn't safe or peaceful, it's still home. It's is comforting and reassuring even if I'm ashamed to admit that I long for this control. I seem to not be able to find the strenght to even WANT or DECIDE to recover, despite ongoing health problems caused by my ed (acidic reflux, pains in articulation and muscles, loss of teeth, non functionning immunitary system, nauseas, dizziness...).

How do I find a reason or the strenght to recover ? I feel like it's not worth it and it's much easier to slip back into what I know and do best.

Anon, I know it's taken me a while to get to this ask, but I am glad you felt you were able to honestly share all of this. I believe you're not alone in feeling that way, especially when you say that relapsing feels like coming home, that the disordered behaviors are the only thing that help you feel right.

I think I get it. If you were suffering for a long time, even before you had an eating disorder, you're very used to suffering and being unwell. It's hard to work toward the feeling of actually having long-lasting wellness when you don't even remember what that wellness feels like.

I think right now, just try and keep taking things in baby steps, even if you do have backslides sometimes. Try and be gentle with yourself, and remind yourself that by even thinking of trying to heal, you're doing something really hard and revolutionary for yourself.

It's hard to fight for wellness when you feel you don't deserve it. What can you do to fight for that feeling? What can you do to reinforce feelings of wellness and worth? Can you maybe take a little time to take a hot bath, make yourself a cup of tea, buy yourself a small treat?

Perhaps when you're craving to self-destruct the most, try to maintain neutrality rather than focusing on levels of wellness that feel unattainable. So if you can't feel good about your body, maybe refrain from looking up thinspo or doing those body-check pics. When the urge has passed - and it will pass, even if it comes back - remember to praise yourself genuinely for your efforts. If you do backslide, respond with kindness to yourself. Speaking to yourself like you're just a person who's having a hard time and deserves compassion might be foundational. Perhaps you could write down something kind that you would say to a dear friend who was in your situation, and then practice saying all that to yourself? You've got to reaffirm your worth to be able to treat yourself like you honestly deserve wellness - and you do, whether you're able to believe that right now or not.

[imaginedreamwrite]

More Hearts Than Mine: Part 5

“You’ve never been to a game before?” Steve hadn’t believed you when you first told him, but he had quickly changed his mind and taken your word for it when you were asking questions within minutes of the puck dropping.

“My parents are academic. If it doesn’t involve statistics or how to succeed in the social ladder, basically if it’s all for fun and not to further yourself-”

You were rightfully distracted by the game, enamoured by the speed and the skill of the players on the ice, and you’d visibly winced more than once when Ari had bodychecked another player into the boards.

“You do anything for fun when you were growing up?” Steve had meant it as a joke, a way to get to know you better via your childhood, which up until now had rarely been talked about.

“Fun?” You had jest in response; the ease between you and Steve and Jake was building with every passing moment. “What’s fun?”

“Haha,” Steve laughed dryly and sarcastically, draping his arm across the back of the seat and against your shoulders, pausing to kiss the top of your head when you rest your head against him.

“My parents put me in dance, horseback riding lessons, piano and gymnastics. But none of it was meant to be fun. They wanted me to have as many avenues to success as they could.”

You pushed yourself closer to Steve, only once glancing at the empty seat to your right, where Jake had been. “Is Jake okay? Is he gonna need help?”

“He’s fine. He’s gonna be back soon.” Steve reassured you with a stroke of his fingertips against your shoulder, the small circles he’d made against your shoulder was a pleasant and small affection.

“What’s going on?” You questioned when one of the refs had blown the whistle, and the game had come to a brief standstill, with the ref grasping Ari’s jersey to lead him to the side.

“Ari’s gotta go in the penalty box for hooking,” Steve explained, gently turning his head to the scoreboard and the countdown appearing on the screen, “five minutes it looks like.”

“That’s the penalty box?” You stood from the cool plastic stadium seat you were sitting on and watched the referee leading Ari to the transparent plexiglass box and as he entered, a round of boos had risen from the crowd.

“Yeah,” Steve had gently nudged you, “Ari’s got five minutes for hooking. You wanna talk to him, now’s your chance.”

“Can I?” You looked at Steve, still unsure if it was something you should be doing. “I can just..?”

“Yes, sweetheart.” Steve nudged you gently again, encouraging you to sneak past him and head to the staircases that would lead you to the box.

You had taken a step and turned back, Steve’s eyes trained on you and his hands shoved in the pockets of his coat as he watched you. “I’ll be back.”

You turned away and rested your right hand on the metal railing secured to the cement steps, sliding your hand down the smooth painted surface in tandem with every step you had taken. When you had approached the penalty box, you had stepped on the edge and tapped the back.

Ari had turned his head and cast his gaze over his shoulder, his eyes bright and his lips stretching into a beaming smile at your approach. He had set his stick against the right wall of the penalty box and pulled out his mouth guard, placing it on the seamless edge.

“Ari!” You raised your voice and placed your hands flush against the plexiglass. “You goon!”

“Hey, bunny!” His grin had only widened, and he had fixated his attention on you and not the crowd or the ongoing game. “You having fun?”

“You got in trouble for hooking!” You knocked on the glass twice more, the subtle sound muffled against every other sound and sensation.

“The asshole deserved it.” Ari’s grabbed his blade and tapped against the glass, like you had, twice in return. “You see that bodycheck?”

“You really are a goon!” You laughed under your breath. “You do that often? Get into trouble?”

“Wait until you see me fight!” Ari glanced back at the clock, at the time counting down before he addressed you again.

“Do you fight?” Your eyes widened when a player on the other team had skated close to the boards and banged his stick against the panels, the noise and the sudden collision nearly making you jump out of your skin.

“Go back to your seat, baby!” Ari’s studied the ice, picking up the number of the other team’s player that had hit the glass with his stick, his blue eyes narrowing when the player smirked at Ari from across the ice. “I’m about to go back in.”

“Ari-“ You were distracted again by the pace in which he had shoved his mouthguard back in and grasped his stick.

And when the timer was down to zero, Ari had shoved the door open and left the box, skating effortlessly across the ice toward the massive-looking player that had hit his stick against the glass.

Ari exhaled sharply as he lifted his hockey bag onto his shoulder, grunting softly from the weight he was used to, and yet the weariness of his body after three intense periods was giving him little grief.

As he had adjusted the weight of his bag and grasped his stick in his hand, he had glanced toward the door of the locker room, already feeling the buzz of electricity that was infiltrating the thick and solid steel as if it was radioactive.

Beyond the door were girls waiting to greet them, the lot of them hoping to gain the attention of any number of the players with the hopes of being invited to an after-party and the legendary sex they thought the players had.

In reality, most of the team had girlfriends or boyfriends and had been going steady for long enough that the girls didn’t make them bat an eye. Of the players who were single, they had the great pleasure of having a gaggle of screaming girls waiting for them, pawing at them.

As Ari’s gaze lingered, he had hoped to see you on the other side of the door waiting for him. He was hoping he would see his cute little bunny waiting for him to congratulate him on the big win, and if he were being honest, even if he hadn’t gotten anything but a scornful look or a quick-witted ‘congratulations’ it would have been enough.

Ari was lost for you; he was completely blindsided by the mere sight of you, more so than he had been with any other girl on campus. You were beautiful, intelligent and funny. You hadn’t shied away from taking digs at Ari, from boldly stating your dislike of the captain of the ‘goon squad’ as you had so delightfully labelled them all.

“Party tonight, Cap?” One of the defensemen had clapped him on the back in passing, one of the few single players on the team. “Lotta girls out there-“

“Unless one of those girls is a sarcastic hellcat-“ Ari grinned as the door opened and he caught a glimpse of the very girl he was speaking about, “-I’m not interested. I’ve got my eye on someone already.”

“I see Steve and Jake out there,” Sam commented, opening the door enough to scan the crowds of fangirls, parents and partners alike, waiting for the rest of the team.

“The girl standing between them-“ Ari had directed Sam’s attention to you, the mere image of you making Ari weak.

“Isn’t that the chick that chased us down in the café? Called us all stick monkeys?” Sam’s lips twitched as he started to smirk, hiding his laugh behind his hand as he watched Ari’s expression change.

“Yeah,” He grinned widely and ran his fingers through his long brown hair, his heart fluttering when he had watched you laugh and lean against Jake, “she’s our girl.”

“Our girl?” Sam questioned with one raised dark brow, hitching his bag over his shoulder like Ari had, and waited until the following few players had left the locker room before he was able to approach the door.

“I’ll tell you later, Wilson.” Ari had nudged his shoulder as the door opened again, and the gleeful puck-bunnies waiting outside the locker room had continued their shrieks and excitable nature as they had encircled the players trying to greet their parents, friends or partners.

As Ari stepped out of the locker room and the steel door closed behind him, he was made aware of the fans he had that were waiting for him breaking off from the other players to form a tight group near him as they screeched and squeaked their questions or adoration for him.

It was a part of the role he had as team captain, having his fans trying to get near him or get with him, and yet he only had his eyes on one woman.

He could see you through the crowd gathered outside the locker room, where you were standing with Steve and Jake.

Ari had noticed the look on your face and the tinge of green that was not so subtly hovering around you like a fine mist, envy and jealousy you were likely telling yourself was nonexistent for someone like him.

You had called him a goon earlier when he was in the penalty box for hooking, the quick-fired insult carrying less sting and a little more admiration, the little quip making him grin like a madman as he waited out his five minutes.

“Ari-!” One of the girls to his left had painted his number and his initials on one cheek and the other, and it was a quick side-eyed glance to see the girl was shivering in a tiny skirt and cut off jersey that would have done nothing to keep her warm this close to the ice. “I was wondering-“

Ari had to hold in a laugh that was building in his chest when the girl to his left had placed her hand on his arm, the subtle gesture making that fine little invisible green mist circulating you turn red, and he was sure if he had gotten closer he could have been able to see steam billowing from your ears.

“Not interested,” Ari had brushed her off. Finally, that laugh had been given life as he grinned wide at you, his pretty girl with a visible scowl on your face and a pretentious glare pointed directly at the circle of girls surrounding him and the other members of the team.

He had broken through the crowd and had come upon the three of you at the perfect time to hear Jake accusing you of jealousy with a half-smirk on his face as his hand settled on your hip.

His fingers had flexed against your hip the closer Ari had gotten, and Jake’s smirk had grown when you fixated your steely glare on the hockey goon approaching.

“I can’t believe they would stand around and-“ Ari had dropped his bag a foot from you, the steady thud dull to his ears as he reached out and cupped your cheeks, yanking you closer to his chest.

“You talk too much,” his wolfish grin came mere seconds before your lips met and he kissed you with intensifying passion.

Your hands had instinctively become balled into the plain grey shirt he was wearing and had become the tool you’d used to yank him back in for another kiss when he tried to pull away.

He was grinning into the kiss, unable to help himself when you had made a soft simpered sound when Ari had snaked his hands around your back. The movement of his hands continued to your ass, the kiss broken when he had squeezed your asscheeks and lifted you from the concrete floor, carrying you as if you weighed nothing.

“Ari, you goon!”You shrieked and dug your nails into his shoulders to retain your grip on him as he kept you suspended in his hold.

“We’ll take your bag then!” Sam called with amusement thick in his voice as he watched their team captain carrying ‘his girl’ like a trophy.

“Thanks, Wilson!” Ari grinned up at you, his hold unwavering even as you gently smacked his shoulder. “Ready to celebrate?”

“I was on a date.” You grunt lightly, your eyes widening when he had shifted ever so slightly. “You’re interrupting a date-“

“You’re not walking off with my date.” Jake had revelled in the air of playfulness that seemed to encompass the intimate atmosphere around the four of you. “If you’re taking her, I’m coming with you. Steve?”

The youngest triplet sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. The strap of his camera bag was twisted slightly at his shoulder, and he seemed mildly annoyed at the prospect, and yet, he seemed to agree in the next breath. “Only because you two together-“

“Happy now, bunny?” Ari had gently lift his hand from your right ass cheek only to make contact again, the light sting drawing a subtle grunt from your lips and another squeeze of your nails into his shoulder.

“I’d be happier if you’d let me go.” Your protest was only half-hearted, and Ari had quickly dismissed the request with another quick kiss.

“No. You’re stuck here now.”

[autismvampyre]

sorry imma vent abt my ed recovery so tw and all that

i was anorexic/bulimic for about a year when i was 14/15. i recovered on my own without therapy or relly any kind of support and somehow got better. im actually quite good with intuitive eating now and i wanna start working out cause i wanna be strong but i haven't found the time nor courage to do so but thats besides the point. im recovered, for the most part

anyway, important context is that im fat. i've always been "bigger than other kids", and i've always been insecure about it but held the belief that one day i'd get skinny and thus conventionally attractive and then my life would be good because fatphobia. i developed an eating disorder due to many factors including some shit w/ my abusers bc it was the same time i was beginning to actually leave and escape which is a whole mess i can't get into now. anyway a main reason is my mom used to be super fucking skinny and was always kinda fatphobic towards me and body shmed me a lot. combine that witch puberty and an investigation into my dad nd stepmoms treatment of me by social services and you got the perfect breeding ground for an ed

im 18 now, i've been ed free since 2021 and i feel good. however i've noticed my perception of myself is warped. dont wanna get into numbers too much, but im currently about 30-40kg heavier than i was when i was the sickest which is bigger than i've ever been and i've noticed i feel ugly. i used to bodycheck constantly but the last 3 years its been a struggle to take a selfie and its because of my size. i did a play the other day and im watching the filming of the performance and just seeing how big i look makes me feel fucking gross. it made me realized im not recovered, bc i still hate my body and how it looks which isn't good for me.

i've realised im still fatphobic. i think fat people are beautiful but i can't accept my own fatness and it's a problem

i'm fat. i've been scared to say that my whole life bc my stepmother is fat and i was always so much smaller than her but i haven't seen her since i started recovering. i'm fat. and i don't feel beautiful and it's a problem bc i know that i am. i guess it's just hard to adjust to seeing myself as both big and beautiful, and im not there yet but i really want to be. admitting that im fat is a big part of it i think. i'm tired of saying "big" or "curvy" or "thick" im just fucking fat and thats fine. i'm fat. i can be beautiful - i will learn to be fat and still feel beautiful not in spite of it but because

[itsaash]

unsatisfyingly satisfying part 1: Dead End

Today is a different story, a Coops one that starts as ... not Coops. I wrote this maybe 4 months ago, just writing for me as a way of processing, for awhile I really didn't think I'd share this. BUT then, with the prompts of @noots-fic-fests I thought of a parts 2&3. also what's scarier/more of a dead end than Sirius Black with a woman? So this is Sirius' last time with someone other than Remus, and in the next part I'll time skip to present day, so no hard feelings if this isn't for you and you want to wait for the next part. Rated E, 6000 words if you click through to ao3 to read the whole thing. I'm just going to put the first 1300 words, rate T, here on tumblr which is as much James and Sirius banter as anything.

“Your aim is way off.”

“Pardon?” Sirius looked up, part genuinely confused and part annoyed. He had marvelous hand eye coordination. He was good at pool. His aim was not off. 

“It’s not going to go in, that’s all I’m saying.”

Sirius didn’t recognize the voice of this unhelpful spectator, but James was clearly already laughing and joined in on the taunts. So Sirius solidly ignored them and took his shot. And missed. 

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, hitting the end of the pool cue down into the hardwood floor of the hotel bar. 

James laughed in victory as he lined up his next shot. 

Sirius looked around for the source of the “advice”, and oh. There she was. Smirking at him over a tumbler of amber liquid. 

“Told you,” she smirked. 

“It was not way off, it was millimeters. And I’m still going to beat this fucker. All I have to do is steal his glasses.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare, Pads,” James said. He took his shot and sank the ball. “You’d never stoop to cheating. Don’t let our new friend here think such a thing of you.” 

James walked behind the girl and from over her shoulder he gave Sirius an eyebrow wiggle that looked eerily like caterpillars dancing and mouthed talk to her, before turning to line up his next shot. 

Sirius rolled his eyes and took a sip of his own drink, watching James line up his shot. 

“Obviously I wouldn’t cheat , Pots. Taking your glasses would be more of a … prank.”

“A prank,” James snorted. 

“Ouais. And a successful one.”

“Stealing my glasses, that I medically need, is not a prank, man. That would be cheating .” He turned to the girl. “Back me up here.”

She smiled and tilted her head, mock thinking. 

“Yeah, I agree. Taking something medically necessary isn’t a prank. That would be mean . And I know someone invited to this weekend of ‘celebrating the best in sports’ wouldn’t be mean , would they?”

Teasing infused her every word, and although Sirius didn’t usually like new people, her vibe was so chill that Sirius didn’t have his back up at all. 

“No, of course I, who plays hockey for a living and bodychecks people everyday, would never be mean ,” Sirius retorted, a smirk growing on his lips. He stepped as casually as he could towards James’ drink and poured some of his whisky into James’ beer. When James went to take a swig of beer he would get a surprise at the strength of the alcohol content. 

“That’s not a fucking prank either! Tampering with a drink. Tut tut Sirius Black, you are terrible at this.”

“I'm not tampering , it’s Pots!”

James turned back to them after missing his latest shot. 

“Tampering! What’d he do?”

“Put some whisky in your beer,” the girl tattled. 

“Hey, come on, if you tell him he won’t take too big of a swallow, and the prank is ruined!” Sirius groaned.

James laughed and took a cautious sip, smirking at Sirius over his glass. There was no gagging or sputtering. Sirius waved a wrist around towards James, while looking at the girl with raised eyebrows, like he could waft his displeasure at the lack of reaction towards her. 

“Hey! It’s not my fault you're bad at pool and pranks. I'm just telling you what I see,” she said, eyes gleaming. 

“Oh ho, ok then. Come line up this shot with me if you're so good,” Sirius said. 

She stood at the opposite side of the table from him and corrected Sirius on his line, and he made the shot. They did it again, and he sank another ball. 

“Hey! As cute as this is, this also feels like cheating,” James protested. She laughed and mimed zipping her lips, and Sirius missed the next shot. 

“Merde,” he muttered, leaning on his cue. “I am usually good at pool, even without a coach. What’s your name, o pool master?”

“I’m Rebecca. And I’m kind of glad to see you’re not perfect at everything. Makes you more human,” she said. 

Sirius rolled his eyes and James piped up, “oh there’s lots of things he’s terrible at.”

“Pots, come on —”

“Ooh, like what? Other than pranks of course?”

“Well cooking and cleaning are the obvious ones, but also making plans, doing interviews, obviously …”

“Potter, come on, arrêtez ça—”

“… speaking English when he’s upset…”

James had Rebecca laughing behind her glass and Sirius shot them both a mock serious glare. 

“In his defense, I heard some of his interviews today and the way they all asked him the same questions would drive anyone to terrible answers,” she said. 

“I did not give terrible answers!” Sirius protested. 

“Are you here for the ultimate sports magazine special too then?” James asked her. 

“Yeah. I’m on the Olympic rugby team. You probably saw us being awesome and getting a silver medal at the last Olympics, so a few of us from the team are here.”

“Oh, sick. That’s awesome. Yeah, his answers are pretty bad sometimes aren’t they?” James said, looking at Sirius all the while. 

“Oh my god, I’m right here, stop it you two,” Sirius said, going to stand between James and Rebecca, trying to split up their alliance. He secretly loved James’ teasing though. James was the perfect social lubricant. Being around people was just easier, better, when James was there. 

There had been at least a dozen interviewers asking him variations of the same question today, none of which were topics he wanted to talk about. He could’ve given them a whole feature on hockey. On his team. But no, they wanted to know about his family and parents and rivalries and standings and if he’s found a nice girl in Gryffindor yet and he wanted to scream . And there had been a photo shoot. It was awful. So Sirius was 3 whiskeys in and was trying to forget this day had ever happened and was definitely trying to forget that there was another photo shoot tomorrow. At least James was here too. The interviews with him there always went better. 

“How did your interviews go?” Sirius asked Rebecca, wanting to stop talking about himself. 

“Oh, fine. I was with my teammates for all of them, so that helps. Lots of lovely comments that start with ‘so, girl’s rugby!’. After which I’d stare them in the eyes and remind them that’s not actually a question, and that it’s women’s rugby and we are an Olympic sport thank you very much.”

Sirius smiled at her fierce reenactment. “I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of you, I’m glad I’m not a reporter. Or a rugby player.”

“That’s the reason you’re glad you’re not a reporter? I would’ve thought it would’ve been all the reading and writing,” James quipped. 

“I can read and write,” Sirius said, punching James in the shoulder. He turned back to Rebecca. “Ignore him, I can read.”

“Sure, I believe you,” she said. They watched James sink his final ball, celebrate with his arms in the air, and Sirius groaned. 

“Rebecca, I thought you were nice .”

“I definitely never said that. Ok, my turn Black, let’s see what you’ve got. Put those soft hands of yours to use.”

Rebecca and Sirius played a game of pool, and James threw jokes at them and drank, getting louder. Then Rebecca continued her winning streak and beat James, so they switched to darts and then somehow found things to juggle. Rebecca was the clear winner of juggling, but Sirius was very proud to be leagues better at it than James. She fit into their dynamic perfectly, the evening felt as relaxing and fun as a night with James alone would have been. She knew the same sports references they did, she was obviously athletic and competitive, and joined in all the good natured chirping. 

Which was why Sirius was really fucking confused when she kissed him. 

read the rest on ao3

[waheelawhisperer]

Indra: Damn, you look bollocksed, mate. Rough day?

Me: I just got out of a 4-hour HR meeting.

Indra: Blimey. Wot kinda HR meeting lasts four bloody hours? And wot the hell'd you do to get stuck in one, anyway?

Me: According to Kal'tsit, listing Gavial's bedroom as my location on company social media is considered "unprofessional".

Indra: You're not pullin' my leg, are you, mate? You were there for real?

Me: Yep.

Indra (winking and elbowing me in the side): You lucky dog! How was it?

Me: Indra, it's not what you're thinking. All we did was play video games, as demonstrated by the fact that I am currently walking under my own power and not confined to the medical wing.

Indra: Aw, come off it, mate! We both know Gavial's got a bit of a soft spot for you. Don't you remember how gentle she was when she took you back to see her hometown? That bird treats you like you're made of glass!

Me: When she's not bouncing me around like a pinball. Besides, it's not Gavial I'm worried about.

Indra: Oh yeah? I know she's got some crazy fans, but... Well, in any case, that lot gives you trouble, give me a call. I'll come sort them out.

Me: It's one fan in particular, actually. Do you know why my meeting went on so long?

Indra: Do tell, mate. I'm just dying to hear it.

Me: It was originally scheduled for three hours. It went on for four because Tomimi broke in and tried to gun me down with one of those field artillery pieces we stole from Londinium's defenses and Dagda bodychecked her through the wall.

Indra: What was Dagda doing there? Last I heard, she hadn't gotten in trouble for weeks.

Me: Morgan drew penises on Kal'tsit's paperwork and framed Dagda for it. She'd just managed to clear her name when Tomimi broke down the door and Dagda had to put her in a sleeper hold. I only survived because Blaze knocked me out of the way of the artillery shell. Also, we need a new HR office now.

Indra: Why was Blaze in the meeting with you? Not that I'm doubting she did something to deserve it, I just want to know what the bird did to get herself in trouble this time.

Me: She got drunk last night and sexted me (on purpose) and Kal'tsit (by accident). Kal'tsit banned her from the landship bar for the next three weeks and told her she had to attend the meeting to discuss appropriate workplace relationships.

Indra: Damn, Doctor, a girl puts herself out there like that for you and you're here talking to me instead of giving her a right shag? That's cold.

Me: Indra, do you have any idea how often my operators send me pictures of their genitals? At this point, seeing Blaze in a g-string at 2:00 AM is just a normal Tuesday night. If I tried to close the deal every time someone sent me a booty pic, I'd be dead by now and the landship would exist in a perpetual state of civil war. Besides, I'm too tired to be horny at the moment. Kal'tsit just talked at me for four straight hours.

Indra: Well, ain't that a tragedy, mate? Come on, then, let me get you off to bed. And I mean bed bed, like for sleeping and such, not fun bed.

Me: Oh, thank God. I love you, Indra.

Indra: Yeah, you and everyone else. Come on, off you go.

[my-ch3mic4l-imb4l4nc3]

Dear Diary,

Living with an eating disorder is not glamourous at all. Its not fun. at. all.

It doesnt even make sense half of the time. 

it derives for a bunch of issues that dont even have anything to do with food, eating or even how you look, but it kinda takes you there.

My thing usually starts with being angry, with myself, my mom, life, whatever, so i en up not eating to, punish?, me, my mom, or whatever.

At the same time, its kind of a source of comfort. I dot have control over most of the things in m life, but i can control what i eat, when i eat. if eat.

Eating scares me sometimes.

Im scared that my body is going to change, that ill get fat and ill end up hating myself worse.

Seeing really skinny people, eating disorder or not, triggers me so much and it makes me feel fat and like i dont want to eat.

feeling hungry feels comfortable sometimes.

Im constantly bodychecking, consciously or not. mostly at night, but sometimes in ways that are not obvious to people who dont know about that kind of stuff.

Sometimes i look in the mirror and i see myself as fat, sometimes i look and i see myself as anorexic thin.

Sometimes i feel like more than half of my medical issues might be related to my weight or whatever.

Theres like a million things going on in my head and having fairly unrestricted access to the internet as a child and young teen probably didnt help me much.

i also have a lot of issues with food, as in most of the times i dont enjoy eating because of the food, if i dont like the texture or the flavour or whatever, i just stop feeling hungry for hours until i go to sleep without eating or whatever.

my comfort foods are not healthy foods.

Im scared of eating and still being hungry and that when it happens i just keep eating and my stomach will grow and i will have to eat more and then get fat.

idk how to end this, because i feel like I haven't really said everything, but whatever.

-me

[lichtecht]

PART 22

of the dfk audiobook translation

@cnka

Narrator (audiobook): Uli gathers all his courage and steps in front of the assembled class.

Uli: „I want to say something!“ Uli: „I can't take this anymore! You all think I’m a loser. But I’m not! I’ll prove it to you tomorrow at 3 at the city wall. That I’m not a loser!“

The class mutters among each other. Uli jumps down from the desk and leaves.

The Externs walk past Uli's friends and yell another "Loser!" at them.

Narrator (audiobook): Meanwhile, Jo has checked her phone. She is shocked.

Jo: „They’ve deleted everything!“ Matze: „What, seriously?!“ Jo: „All of our work, our film! Everything we’ve shot, this- oh, I’ll kill these pigs. We need to take revenge, we need a plan!“ Martina: „Jo, I don’t know. What’s the point of that?“

Jo: „They have destroyed everything! Our entire film, everything we’ve worked on! You can’t be this indifferent to it.“ Martina: „I’m not indifferent to it. I just have more important things to do. I need to study.“

Jo: „Study? Are you really serious? Your only problem is if Bökh likes you!?“ Martina, yelling: „Boah, Jo, ey, you have no idea at all! Just shut the hell up for once!!“

Narrator (audiobook): Martina storms furiously out of the room. So does Jo shortly after.

Jo: „There’s really nothing but idiots here! Shitty jerkwater town!!“

[Note: this is the best translation of "scheiß Kuhkaff" I could find...]

Narrator (audiobook): A helpless Matze is left behind.

Matze: „So much for 'us Internals stick together'.“

SCENE CHANGE

[Note: I can translate the song lyrics if you want to.]

Narrator (audiobook): The next day. Matze walks into his room and meets his friend, who is about to leave with a helmet and climbing ropes.

Matze: „Hi, Uli.“

Narrator (audiobook): But Uli ignores Matze and gives him a bodycheck before he storms out of the room.

Narrator (audiobook): It’s not an easy time. Everyone seems to be fighting their own small battle. Not just the kids, but also Robert. The meeting with Justus has stirred him up a lot and torn open old wounds.

A montage of different characters while the song plays.

Martina lies on her bed with her school books and cries.

Robert is on a walk along the lake.

Matze plays with a little boxing toy and eats biscuits.

Narrator (audiobook): Jo seeks conversation with the Nichtraucher and knocks on the door of his wagon.

(knocking)

Jo: „Can I come in?“

Narrator (audiobook): Shortly after, Jo is playing on Robert‘s piano. He sits next to her and listens.

Jo plays the last chords of the song on the piano.

Jo: (sighs) Jo: „I feel like I don’t belong here.“ Jo: „Like, in Kirchberg.“

Jo: „I mean, they’re all little Spießers here.“ Nichtraucher: (chuckles quietly) Jo: „The Externs anyway…“ (sighs) „And the Internals are shit too.“ Nichtraucher: „Yeah?“ Jo: "Yeah, I mean, you’re better off on your own too after all. Don’t meet Bökh and stuff..." Nichtraucher: (heavy sigh)

Narrator (audiobook): Robert sits down on the couch and lights himself another cigarette.

Nichtraucher: (long sigh) Nichtraucher: „You know, Jo- life is like that sometimes. People disappear and then they’re just gone.“

Jo: „How? Something like that has a reason. Why did you never want to see each other again?“ Nichtraucher: (sighs.) „His mother was sick. Very sick. It wasn’t easy back then either, a friendship with an Internal. It was complicated.“

Silence.

Jo: „What happened?“

Silence.

Nichtraucher: „My wife died.“

Silence.

Jo: „Oh.“

Silence.

Nichtraucher, quietly: „Justus knew her as well. But he didn’t get in touch.“

Silence.

Nichtraucher, almost whispering: „Maybe he didn’t care.“

Music softly fades in.

Jo: „I don’t believe that.“

[norcumii]

title: Moonfire - (Star Wars/Gargoyles) Ahsoka Tano/Angela (or Ahsoka Tano & Angela also works)

(regarding this fic title meme prompt)

After rotating this notion in my head SO MUCH, I’ve finally pinned down how I’d want this to play out.

So Angela and her rookery-sibs grew up on the mystical isle of Avalon, right? The once-home of all the fey, ruled by Oberon and Titania. For the sake of the premise, we’re going to presume that these kids grew up with some weird shit. Not just the garden variety weird shit like cupboards of food that never empty or flower gardens that rearrange their hedge maze depending on the day of the week; we’re talking ‘the island removed the entire southern beach again and replaced it with a giant snowglobe scene, snowglobe included – oh and it is ALSO fully temperature controlled. We are probably not getting that beachball back any time soon’ levels of shenanigans.

At some point, one of the kids finds a dry, mostly useless book in the back of the library with exhaustive details about the island’s features (they do learn how to work the hedge maze, though, which everyone appreciates). Somewhere in the book is a section for Transitory Features, and includes something called a Bridge Of Moonfire. There’s nothing useful, like where it is or what it looks like, just how it returns every eighty-seventh five-quarters moon or something equally absurd for ‘a short time’ and an anecdote about a fey lady who once traversed it and was never seen again.

So the kids are warned to not use it, whatever it is, should they ever see it.

Of course, one night while out gliding with at least one of her sibs, out of nowhere across a lake/pond/grassy area spawns this silvery-white glowing path. ‘Bridge’ isn’t the word that comes to mind, but it doesn’t take too much poetic license to figure out what it is. The gargoyles swing wide of it, but Angela is curious. She warns the others to stay back, then very cautiously moves in for a fly-over from what should be plenty of safe distance. And yet, the moment she passes over the bridge of light, it curves up so she lands on it hard. With a fwoom-swoosh, the light and Angela disappear.

She comes to in a strange castle, and the landscape that is utterly foreign. She explores carefully, until she finally stumbles upon a living being. There’s a strange girl ahead of her, orange with a blue and white crest (no wings or tail, poor thing, but what could she be BUT another gargoyle?) - and there’s an uncanny little gremlin with very large, sharp teeth about to leap out at her. Of course Angela lunges to bodycheck the surprisingly hefty critter away, but it bounces off the wall and rebounds at them, scary teeth first.

There’s a fwoom-swoosh, and the girl bisects the critter with two glowing swords. She faces Angela in what must be a guard position, and all Angela can think of to say is, “how do you have moonfire blades?”

Ahsoka doesn’t know what to say to that, and she’s already had QUITE enough of this Mortis bullshit without having a pretty girl come out of nowhere to save her from she really doesn’t know what. But this pretty girl with wings seems even more clueless about what’s going on than they do (instead of annoyingly all-knowing and cryptic and RUDE), so she accepts Angela’s help. The whole Mortis debacle goes sideways, Anakin does not have further Super-Trauma piled upon his head, and they all escape relatively unscathed and Having Learned Something About Themselves.

Angela goes with them, of course, and embraces life in the Republic. Somehow this leads to Palpatine tripping fatally down the stairs or whatever, and later on Angela is introduced to Jedi Master Fey who is very surprised but eager to hear any news about her long-ago home.

(“Oberon exiled EVERYONE from Avalon in a snitfit to learn about humanity. OBERON. Thought everyone ELSE needed to learn about humans. UGH.” Master Fey rolls her eyes. “This sort of ridiculous drama is why I did not hesitate to leave.”)

And everyone lives happily ever after.

[gazelle-777]

Summer Beach Trip - pt 1

The morning light peeks through the crack in the blinds, coaxing your eyes to open. You smile. It's a small, nervous thing, basing its continued existence on the scale and morning bodycheck. You reach over and slide your phone off its charger, feeling the skin stretch over your ribcage. So far so good. Opening the blinds to let the morning sunlight filter through, you set up for the bodycheck pose. Consistent posing and angles is important, and you don't want to mess it up. A tap of a button and it's over; you quickly sit up to pore over this latest photo. It's ... perfect.

You did it. You reached your goal. Your legs are small, your stomach perfectly flat. You can just barely see a hint of hipbone showing through. That'll be more prominent come the end of summer, especially if I stay consistent. The thought comforts you, and for a moment you can feel yourself relaxing, easing into a sensation of completion. And what is going on here? Its 10 past 7 and you're lounging in bed doing ... what, exactly? Get up. You have work to do. You leave in a few hours; just enough time to get in one last sweat sesh before being car bound for hours. As much as you hate to admit it, you're right. Sitting doesn't burn calories. You hurriedly change into workout clothes, choosing your favorite set.

Cute, but it's a little chilly in the gym. Best to put an extra layer over it. 30 minutes of running. 30 minutes of full body pilates. 15 minutes of abs then 10 minutes of stretching. You go through the routine, straining a bit at the end to finish. Good. That means you're still progressing. It's still effective.

You get back home to be greeted with chaos. Suitcases scattered on the floor. Your dad scuttling back and forth trying to load the car as quickly as possible. You duck and weave around the madness and dart upstairs to shower and change.

"Are you wearing that for the trip?" Your sister eyes you up and down, her lip curling in ... disgust? Jealousy? You can't tell so you answer carefully. "Yea, I wanted to be comfortable. It's a long drive and a whole lot of sitting." She rolls her eyes. "Yea, we get it. All you do is workout and refuse to eat. You don't have to rub it in every 5 seconds." So it was jealousy. You shrug and head off to the car while everyone else loads up the bags.

"Hey girls", your mom calls. "We have some time before we head out. You guys should eat something first." You browse the fridge and look for something fresh. You avoid drinking a lot of water on car trips to limit bathroom visits, but need to stay hydrated so fruit would be best. After poking through the fridge, you make your selection. You settle down to eat, the eyes of both sister and mom tracking your bowl. "It's going to be a long drive and we aren't planning on stopping to eat." You smile and nod, "yes, that's ok."

After polishing off the last bit of watermelon, you toss the can in the recycling bin and rinse your bowl before putting it away. You wash your hands and hop in the car, ready to have the best vacation ever.

[seakicker]

Miss Seakicker HI! 🦦 anon here, I just wanted to pop in and ask a question but before that;

How have you been? I’m loving the new theme and layout for your blog! I hope you’re drinking enough water and taking enough breaks. We can’t have Fertility archon Juju getting sick!

I started playing Tears of The Kingdom and there’s a place called Joju-u-u Shrine in the game (we almost had Juju Shrine!) I went bra shopping earlier (nothing spicy, just needed some new ones).

I’m not really sure how else to ask this but do you have any advice for when the insecurities about one’s body image start to get…loud? Like some days I’ll feel good in a pair of pants because i fill them out really well but then there’ll be bad days like the time i spent 2 hours on an online site buying a kazuha cosplay because I didn’t want to admit i was a size bigger. (I bought the bigger size in the end and that one fits like a glove)

Feel free to answer this whenever you like! - 🦦 anon

HELLOOOOOOO SWEETHEART GAH i’m very late in answering this because i’m just tryin to find the motivation to use tumblr consistently again, but i was thinking about this ask again today bc i’ve had it in drafts since you sent it to me. i’ve been working a ton but i’m alright; drinking water and working on eating healthier for myself 😊❤️ what kinds of things do you think we’d do at a juju shrine… 🤔👀

as far as the insecurity part goes, honestly i’ve found that staying off the internet entirely on days where you’re maybe feeling a little worse about yourself is extremely beneficial. with how prevalent bodychecking and diet culture BS are on tiktok and instagram in particular and with how advanced filters and photoshop have gotten (remember when people considered it impossible to use filters/edits on videos? good times), taking a bit of a detox and staving off of doomscrolling rlly go a long way on days where i may not be feeling the best about myself. like, i’ve seen people recommend eating an entire block of cream cheese under the guise of health because keto influencers love spinning nonsense and trying to make you genuinely believe that an entire brick of cream cheese is inherently better for you than a single piece of bread for toast, lol.

at any rate, i think it’s good to remind yourself that you are real and your body is real and not everything you see online is real— most people are able to (rightfully) internalize that they shouldn’t compare their bodies to digital art or anime characters, and i think that mentally should extend to just about any 3D picture you see online— while i’m not inherently anti-photoshop or anything like that, i DO think it’s harmful for these people who participate in photoshopping their pics or using filters to pass it off as (A) all natural genetics and/or (B) simple diet and exercise because no amount of genetics, diet, or exercise are gonna give you a 13 inch waist and 42 inch hips. even pictures of real life people can be twisted to the point where they might as well be fictitious, but your body is real when you look at it and real in anything and everything you wear, so why worry about how it stacks up compared to a picture that’s certainly edited?

i first read this on pinterest in like high school but it’s honestly sound advice and something that’s really stuck with me— we don’t get mad at our feet for being too small/too big/too wide/too narrow when shoes don’t fit, we just buy a different size— shouldn’t the same idea extend to all our clothes? our bodies aren’t made to fit clothes, clothes are made to fit our bodies— and buying a bigger cosplay to fit you better isn’t a fault of yours nor your body’s. you got this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[x-authorship-x]

For this week's game! >:D take what you like, leave what you don't! Every time I'd burn through the world, I'd see That the world, it burns through me (any clipping of this lyric from the new Hozier EP) Mambo No.5 (objectively funny no matter where it turns up)

Clan prodigy in love with his spouse? These tips for cultivating matrimonal and intervillage harmony will shock you!!!

You play your luck with these asks, I see what you're doing but I'm complicit lmao 😏

"take what you like, leave what you don't" as if I won't try my hand at all of it 🤣🤭

Disclaimer: I do listen to the whole song a lyric is from because I'm Like That and I want all the vibes to match

Okay, Hozier (❤️) first-

"Every time I'd burn through the world, I'd see

That the world, it burns through me,"

Shisui wasn't expecting to meet his Soulmate in Kirigakure, let alone when said Soulmate was in the middle of going missing-nin and definitely not when Shisui, fleeing the pack of Hunter-nin chasing him out, was neck deep in S-Rank mission protocol.

Kisame was of the water, deep and unfathomable as the sea and as tremulous as a storm.

Shisui danced like a flame, sharp and hot and mesmerizing, uncatchable and unquenchable and as cheerful as he was wicked.

They were opposites, natures and villages and futures. It was impossible, to pass and never know.

But they stared into each other's depths and-

Shisui's grin stretched wide, savage and gleeful. "Hey, Soulmate. Need a ride?"

Kisame's answering smile was sharp from more than his teeth and his grip, as he grabbed Shisui's offered hand, was unhesitatingly resolved.

(Kisame burned into Shisui's soul, searing warmth that hurt so good as it cauterized his bleeding wounds. It was Kisame that fed the flames in his chest, that urged him onwards, onwards, onwards-

And Shisui, it was into Shisui that Kisame threw the last of himself, and it was Shisui that pulled Kisame's head beneath and it was only to Shisui that Kisame would surrender it all and drown)

✨

Mambo no.5

"A little bit of you makes me your man~"

Comedy/Humour, Shisui/Anko, Anko/Genma, Shisui/Anko/Genma

Shisui and Anko were absolutely not friends. Sure they'd known each other since they were arrogant little shits, they pulled off ridiculous shenanigans at work together, and they were each other's first kiss but- not friends.

Genma was definitely friends with both of them. Shisui was his Squadmate, one of the closest people in his life, and they knew each other inside out. Anko was his drinking buddy, they crashed at each other's places, they swapped poison recipes - fuck 'clan secrets'/traitorous sensei - and they were closer than most people got.

Friends absolutely didn't get plastered every Friday night, didn't bodycheck strangers making a move on one of the others, and they definitely didn't start necking in the middle of the club. Once would've been a mistake, every single Friday for two years? That was pathological.

"You lot are perfect for each other, just never get anyone else involved." - Raidou

✨

I've just realised that maybe Mambo no.5 was connected to this last one but- well, who's gonna stop me now? You'd have to catch me first, I'm like a whippet

ANYWAY ITS TOO LATE

"Clan prodigy in love with his spouse? These tips for cultivating matrimonial and intervillage harmony will shock you!"

If you'd asked anyone before this which Clan they'd have looked to for romantic advice, the Uchiha would've been very low on anyone's radar.

Oh, they were dramatic and ridiculous, everyone knew that, and they also felt things deeply - the yowling cat fights over the smallest things and the nature of their Dojutsu attested to that - but they were also deeply, deeply awkward. They didn't socialise much, if you wished them a 'good morning' then they'd stare at you like you'd flashed them in the middle of the street, and the less said about the academy trench-warfare against their crushes, the better.

And yet-

"Sorry, Takiyo-san! I was too keen for my order!" Bright, addictive laughter rang out over the clamour of the marketplace, before the familiar figure - black curls and an Uchiha fan emblazoned between broad shoulders - jumped from pavement to rooftop.

From that vantage point, it was easy to watch as Shunshin no Shisui pressed a carton of fresh karaage into his husband's hands before pressing in even closer for a kiss.

"It's so romantic," a young woman down the street sighed with her girlfriends. "Imagine being swept off your feet like that, like something from a fairytale! The Sandaime could barely speak at the wedding, he was so happy... and to retire so soon afterwards, it's like he finally trusted our village to younger hands again!"

AKA

Shisui, after a lifetime of dealing with the Uchiha Elders, had no confidence that the Sandaime and Council would be useful in ensuring intervillage peace. Guess he'd better marry the Sarutobi's wayward Heir instead.

Asuma didn't expect for an Uchiha with the cutest dimples to track him down in the Capital and propose marriage. That his smirk, as he explained exactly how Asuma could fuck over his father and the Elders, was annoyingly attractive was just a plus.

Who knew matrimonial and intervillage peace was just an endless game of "fuck you" to the haters and delighting in your partner in crime!

✨

I got carried away but...oh well! Thanks for playing!

[royrockstone]

Really curious about the "wrist thing" you mentioned in the tags of a Roman gif set. Did you end up writing about it? And what was it?

hii

so @endiness made a post comparing a moment from kill list with the moment from s1 where we see roman looking in a mirror clearly bodychecking/ having some sort of self-disgust Moment: https://www.tumblr.com/royrockstone/715454986906107904?source=share

at first glance i thought that moment was just like roman nervously rubbing his hands together/fidgeting but seeing it more closely it looks like he’s trying to wrap his hand around his wrist (pretty common bodychecking behavior in ppl with eating disorders or body dysmorphia for those who didnt know) and the more i think about it in light of the fact that kieran culkin is team ed!roman the more i think that was actually the intention. maybe im wrong and its just like a nervous thing but its my headcanon i do what i want.

i haven’t written about it yet! but if i do a 4x05-4x06 chapter (which ive been thinking about) id like to explore the idea that the Issues, which he formerly kept relatively tight under wraps so logan wouldnt see, are now slipping more and more into the open bc 1. theres no one to perform for anymore (theres his siblings, who he doesnt need to hide from bc theyre no longer competing for dads approval, and theres the executives who he now has power over. if they notice he’ll just fire them) and 2. post-logan he needs to intensify his self-destructive behavior to deal with his grief/express his feeling of nonpersonhood/keep himself the same level of penned in and put in place as he was by logan

[skittidyne]

if the cast of htkg gets stranded somewhere w no food who is the first to suggest cannibalism and who is the first to get cannibalized?

vivienne is the one who suggests it 10 minutes in as a joke(?). hell she probably suggested it on the ride that crashed or however they got stuck there.

but hmmmm time for bullet points! my beloved

if thomas is there he and vivienne are pointing fingers at each other and shrieking "THAT ONE THAT ONE THAT ONE" the entire time everyone else debates calmly/tearfully

dana is the one who has read an uncomfortable amount of stranded/disaster/the rook stories and is the first to point out the logistics of it, but not the first to make the Serious Suggestion

i don't see how she'd be this stupid but i think it'd be really really funny if christine tearfully volunteered to get eaten and someone had to quietly take her aside and go "sweetie no. you're not corporeal we can't eat you"

actually emil/christine/kirara are probably too lucky and avoid this mess entirely. (i don't know how dana doesn't avoid it, then. i like her nerdiness coming out in this dark way too much.)

like dana comes into this conversation with FOOTNOTES.

codi and thomas, the ones who kill Many Things for a living but never butcher them, just kinda shrug and nod and go "yeah that makes sense" when dana points out how careful they would have to be with a body to preserve it for food rather than just murdering someone for funsies

sam probably opens his mouth to volunteer and isaac bodychecks him to keep him down and out of the conversation for the rest of the night. isaac would be very pro-cannibalism of other people but no one's getting a two-for-one special on his watch.

you can't eat demons anyway, even if you could safely drain them of their blood

also. ngl. the whole bad luck thing kinda means vivienne would do it, but she can't die, sooooooo.

"well why can't we just cut off an arm or two instead? we don't have to KILL a person" "and let them bleed to death? we have no real medical supplies either" and meanwhile isaac is like "my time has come" (bc cauterization)

actually this scenario would have to have all of the nonhumans (aside from sam) kept away because otherwise they would be way too into eating the humans and there wouldn't even be a debate. they'd just pick a person and go to town. the extra funny part being that it would take weeks before a spirit would get to that starving desperation level versus how quickly a human would

mark probably gets killed and eaten first just for being so damn annoying and no one wants to deal with a mindreader when they're all stuck in Dark Thought town, anyway. if brynja is there, she probably kills everyone else in a fit of rage. if brynja is not there, she will kill everyone else in a fit of rage later.

man this could get really fucked up really fast if megan was there; they really could just start carving hunks and limbs off of each other and just heal the wound to stop death. good ending, maybe? or more horrifying? (mark probably still gets killed for being so damn annoying.)