#doesn’t help that the game itself is inconsistent with what they look like

[mallowbuddy]

roxanne keeps her on her toes

bonus:

[concreteburialplot]

Virality // 06*

06 - Whiplash*

summary/masterlist: here | crossposted: ao3

word count: 3.5k

cw: smut, alcohol, weed, fingering, drunken (consensual, protected) sex, kinda intense ruffilo 👀, 18+ MDNI

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc

a/n: don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :) future chapters w smut will have a * by the title

VALLIE

Nicholas and I get Noah onto his feet and practically carry him to his room which thankfully is on the first floor. Since Nick and I are also pretty drunk we sort of just plop him on his messy bed and set some water and ibuprofen on his nightstand.

Even though I’m crossfaded, it doesn’t stop me from observing his room. It’s what you’d expect, posters everywhere, a gaming chair with two monitors, striped navy sheets, but he at least has a bed frame. It reeks of weed, cigarettes, and sweat. What throws me off the most is how filthy the room is – I never expect a man’s room to be immaculate, but this is a disaster. There’s trash everywhere, crumpled soda cans, glass bottles, empty cigarette boxes, ash everywhere. His bed is full of mess too, piled with game controllers, books, rolling trays, lighters, a laptop, an ipad, and that’s just from the brief glance at it. The disarray takes up half of his entire bed and he is left with a sliver of mattress.

Nicholas carefully closes the door behind us like Noah is a baby he doesn’t want to wake. The house is empty, no boys, no music, nothing. “Do you have any more weed?” I blurt out, I need something and maybe smoking would help reign in my intoxication. He gives me a funny look with peaked brows. “What!” I ask playfully, still feeling the swirly buzz of alcohol spinning on my tongue.

“You just didn’t strike me as a smoker.” Giving me a small smirk before rounding the table, “It’s in the living room.” He gestures across the house and I follow closely behind. He snatches a glass jar and a neon green plastic bong from the bookshelf next to the TV then sits down on the couch, placing both items on the coffee table. “Folio is the roller so, I hope you don’t mind a bong? I can get a pipe if you want, I’m sure I could find one-.”

“I can handle a bong, thank you.” I bite down on my bottom lip to hide the smile that begs to plaster itself across my face.

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” The words seem to be edged with some hint of accusation, but I dismiss it as me just being a paranoid smoker. He packs the bowl with green carefully, making sure to pick out any stems or inconsistencies. Then, he hands me the piece and a lighter. “First hit.” Offering it towards me.

Sober me would definitely over-analyze the sanitation of this bong, seeing as it’s been shared amongst at least four men with I’m sure questionable guests – but I’m not sober, and I need this hit. Seamlessly, I press my lips to the thick black rim of the bong, use the lighter to sizzle the ground flower and inhale the opaque smoke. For a moment, I think I took it like a champ, until I completely exhaled and am consumed by a coughing fit. I shakily hand the bong back to Nicholas who’s laughing at me. “Dude, your face is so red right now. Are you good?”

“It’s just been a long time since I smoked from a bong.” I struggle to get out the words between coughs. I use a water bottle I’d stolen from the fridge to help ease the burning in my throat. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything fun, I haven’t even drank in months since I’ve been so busy managing the last stadium tour. I needed this night more than I thought.

He easily takes a hit, exhaling a thick white cloud above us. “I got you.” He states as he leans across the coffee table and reaches into a decorative wooden bowl, grabbing something that sounded like crumpled plastic. His hand opens to reveal a small hill of vibrant Jolly Ranchers, “These help with the coughing, don’t ask, they just do.” A kind smile tugs at the edges of his mouth.

“Thanks.” I mirror his smile and take a blue raspberry rancher. After unraveling it out of the wrapping, I place it on my tongue. Much to my surprise, it does help significantly. “Wow, that’s crazy how fast that works. My eyes were fucking watering.”

“You’re welcome.” He replies with a smug smirk as he picks out a cherry flavored one to eat.

The events from that first rainy day at my house repeated themselves because we were once again sitting criss cross in front of each other on the couch eating snacks. From the amount of giggles that filled the living room and the heavy slur in our voices, it is clear that we were insanely crossfaded. I thought smoking would help my drunkness, but it only amplified it.

It’s 2 am and the house is still dead silent except for us. We’re trying to keep it down and speak in whispers, but it always seems to fail. Our knees are practically overlapping as we hold a tub of fruity sherbet between us. Somewhere along the adventure of eating the sorbet, I became aware of his eyes on me. Any time I catch a glimpse of him blood rushes to my cheeks, so I try my best to avoid it. But then, it becomes another drunken game I want to win.

I place a bit of the cold sugary treat on my tongue, taking my time to fully clean off the spoon and pulling it from my mouth with a pop. His stare follows my every movement and lingers on my mouth. “Hm.” I hum, “Can you check if my tongue is still blue from the Jolly Rancher?” I don’t know what I’m trying to get out of that, but it feels like some sort of a power move.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure.” He answers, his voice lined in caution.  

I lean forward, making sure to show off my low cut top and innocently stick my tongue out. His eyes widen slightly, “Yeah, still blue.” Before I can retract, he matches my energy, “What about mine? Still red?” He offers out his tongue just like I did.

I tug at my bottom lip with my eyes glued to his tongue thinking about what it would feel like to be under it. “Mhm, yep.” I nod. There’s stillness between us as our gazes shift between each other’s lips and eyes.

Our lips clash together, and it’s like a cage of butterflies locked in my stomach just unleashed throughout my entire body. Between the butterfly frenzy, the alcohol and the weed, my whole body is buzzing and on fire. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t care, everything feels so fuzzy and so good.

We mutually pull from the kiss, analyze each other’s eyes, then reconnect our lips again. Trembly hands find their ways into each other’s hair, pulling us closer. I can tell he’s holding back but I need more. My body’s moving faster than my mind, I don’t even have a moment to think before I practically throw the tub of ice cream onto the coffee table in order to deepen the kiss.

Every last bit of professionalism and restraint leaves my body when his large hands find my waist and pulls me closer. His tongue sweeps against my bottom lip and I oblige with entrance. Our tongues dance together at the same momentum that our bodies are reacting to each other. I draw away for just a moment, “I normally don’t do this with clients.” I breathe out hastily.

“I don’t do this with managers.” He shoots back immediately, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Do you want to stop?” But the hunger behind his silver eyes answers for me. He meets my lips again and pulls me into his lap, with my knees anchored at each side of him. My short skirt rides up my thighs, so it is just my panty-covered core against his strained jeans. I roll my hips against his in an attempt to get some friction. He lets out a deep groan from the back of his neck, his hands gripping my hips hard as I move against him.

He detaches from my lips and soon finds my neck, beginning to suck at the sensitive skin below my ear. “Fuck.” I whine out quietly, still grinding against him.

“We should probably move to my room...” Nicholas mumbles with a reluctant urgency in his voice.

I think about it for a moment, but I know I’ll back out if I comply. If I agree I won’t follow through – which is the smarter idea but I’m not thinking with my brain right now. My head is drunk and hazy and all I can think about was him. “I don’t want to.” I answer under my breath.

“But if the others catch us –.”

“They won’t.” I briefly look around and take an oversized blanket off the back of the couch, draping around me, creating a small fort over us. “We can hide if we need to.”

He nods subtly and finds his way back onto my neck, my eyes flutter closed in ecstasy when his tongue begins drawing circles into the sensitive skin. He abruptly stops for a short second, “We shouldn’t be doing this.” Whispering just below my ear.

“I know.” I reply in a hush. Neither one of us complies to our logic though. Nicholas leans back against a cushion behind him, bringing me down with him. “Do you want to stop?” I repeat.

“No.” He presses sloppy kisses across my neck to the other side. “I fucking need you.” His voice is deep and raspy and it sets my stomach ablaze.

I let out a whimper as his sucking on my skin intensifies. Any other sober version of me would be losing her mind about the inevitable hickies, but right now they’re making me tingle all over. Between my thighs there is a throbbing that is begging for him. My hand curls into his long hair and perhaps I need him just as ferociously. I grab his hand resting on my hip and guide it between my legs. He freezes below me, like touching me would get him in trouble. His grey eyes gaze up at me, they’re masking primal hunger with innocence. “Touch me.” I instruct in a whisper.

That’s all the convincing he needed and there is nothing hiding his desire anymore. His fingers easily slipped into my panties and ran two digits up my folds. I inhale sharply; the pleasure is almost too powerful when his fingers finally reach my clit. “You’re so fucking wet.” He breathes out gruffly, unmistakable need in his voice.

My own hand traces down his abdomen landing on the button and zipper of his jeans which I instantly undo and dip into his boxers, wrapping my hand around his already hard member. “You’re so fucking hard.” The sudden stimulation sends him into overdrive, bucking his hips up into my hand and a deep groan comes from deep in his chest. 

His glimmering eyes search mine for something, but I can’t tell what it is, maybe permission? At first, I try to decipher the search but then I begin to notice the soft edges of his cheeks and the fullness of his lips, the perfect slope of nose. In this moment he looks just so… beautiful, in a way I hadn’t noticed before. Maybe it is the conglomerate of substances in my body that’s making me see him this way, like some sort of extra cushion to allow myself to sleep with him.

Suddenly, he uses his free hand to seize my jaw to meet his lips again. His hands roughly grab and grope me, his own professional and polite demeanor slipping from him. The pads of his fingertips teasingly roll against my clit before sliding down and slipping two fingers into me. I gasp sharply into the kiss when he hooks them right into my g-spot sending shock waves through my blood vessels. I collapse into his neck whimpering with each curl of his fingers. His free hand is firmly gripping onto my hip in a way that could easily command my entire body. With every passing moment I see a much different side from his normal calm and kind, right now he’s feral and rabid and looking at me like I’m the first meal he’s had in years.

I’ve slept with enough men to know when they’re giving their all, and I can tell he’s not. He has a loose grip on control, under any other circumstances, with any other man, I’d try to provoke him. But the intensity of his restraint almost scares me, it feels like observing a hungry shark from within the safety of a protective metal cage. His energy is circling me, hunting me, looking for my weak spot – but I know he won’t go for it, he just wants to see me squirm.

I spit into my hand before moving up and down on his veiny shaft and he lets out a low groan that sounds more like thunder rolling. His fingers dig into my hip bone so hard I can almost feel the blood rushing to form bruises. I wonder if he’s only like this because he’s drunk.

His cock is thick and long and pulsing in my hand; the more I jerk him the more I need him. As if we communicated telepathically, his hand squeezes the cheeks of my face forcing me to look into his eyes again, “I need you.” He demands, a bit louder than before.

“Yes. Me too.” I nod desperately, “Do you have a condom?”

He runs his tongue between his lips and points to a ceramic jar on the coffee table that he can’t reach. I lean over and just barely get it with the tips of my fingers, rolling it closer to the edge. I pull the interlocking lid off to find it full of condoms. I pick the first one I see, rip it open with my teeth then slide it down his length. The whole time he’s looking at me like he wants to devour me whole. He pulls his fingers from me so I can align my entrance with his cock. I pump him slowly to tease but his nails digging into my thigh tells me he’s not patient. I let myself sink down onto him and he fills me wholly, completely, almost painfully, if I don’t keep myself suspended a bit. “Fuck.” I breathe out.

He hasn’t moved and the way he’s looking up at me feels like the calm before a storm. Unexpectedly, his hand snatches my jaw and the air slips from my windpipe as he brings me down to his lips, “You better start moving if you don’t want me to destroy you completely.” He growls lowly and I obey, beginning to rut my hips on him. We let out a long moan almost in unison and our lips meet again. One hand I tangle into his raven locks and the other goes down to find my pulsing clit.

The pace I’m keeping isn’t enough so I speed up like I’m trying to satisfy a hunger I can’t reach. Our tongues are intertwined and fighting for dominance but he’s winning. I tug at his hair and ride him faster to gain control. Both of his hands glide up my thighs and take hold of my hips, I don’t think much of it until he begins to ram into me from below. I crumble completely in his hands and fall into the curve of his neck letting out pathetic whimpers. He thrusts up rhythmically, reaching the deepest parts of me and setting fire to every cell in my body. His deep and raspy grunts fill my ears and only furthers the tingling that’s spreading over my skin. My fingers roll into my clit quicker with each passing second, “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come.” I warn, sensing my climax rapidly approaching.

“Come for me, baby, come all over my cock.” Nicholas grunts out sternly, sounding more like a command. His own breathy groans tell me he’s close too.

Bliss washes over me, bursting through every inch of my body and threatens to come out in screams. My hand grips his hair tightly while I bite down hard onto his shoulder to stifle the noises wanting to come out. His frenzied thrusts land into my sweet spot over and over and it’s too much for me to handle. The pleasure comes out in tears, spilling down my cheeks and onto his shirt that is crinkled underneath my piercing teeth. At my highest peak, he’s beginning to unravel with sloppy but hasty ruts into me until finally, he slams into me hard and goes rigid. I feel his cock twitch and throb inside me, spilling his seed into the condom. He lets out short, breathy groans while he rides out his orgasm.

Finally spent, I deflate and land on his chest. Our breathing is in sync with our chests rising and falling together. I expect that the following moments will be excruciatingly awkward, but he surprises me. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer into him. I breathe in deep and his woodsy cologne fills my nostrils, scaring away all the uncomfortable fears immediately. It’s comforting to have someone’s smell and warmth to hold onto, which is vastly different to my most recent hookups offered. 

Contrary to the beast I just encountered moments ago, Nicholas is now gentle and delicate, like normal. It gives me a feeling similar to whiplash, how he could flip from playful and sweet to something quite the opposite. Just the thought spins an excitement in my tummy that I’ve never felt before.

We lay there for a while in silence, probably because we don’t know what to say or how this happened or how we got here. I clear my throat and lift myself up on my palms and wrap the blanket around me, suddenly feeling exposed. “Do you mind if I crash here? I definitely can’t drive.”

He wipes the sweat from his forehead, “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He discretely takes care of the condom, tying it off and tucking it into the wrapper.

There are external worries about what this all means banging on the outside of my drunken head so, I need a distraction. I reach over for the bong and take a few consecutive short hits until it eases the growing anxiety of everything. I want to tell him how good it was, how good he made me feel, how I want to go again, but it seems forbidden to speak about. It shouldn’t be talked about. 

“You can, um, sleep in my bed if you want. I can sleep out here.” He offers. “You done with that?” He tilts his head to the plastic in my hands.

“Oh, yeah.” I exhale milky smoke above us. “But um, I’m fine just sleeping out here? Do you have an extra charger?”

“Sure.” He answers and takes the bong from my hands. After a hit or two Nicholas gets up, picking up the trash and ash on the coffee table before leaving the room without a word. He returns with a spare duvet folded up topped with clothes and a charger. “Here you go.”

I take the stack and recognize the baggy shirt and joggers to be merch I didn’t see at their table. “Thank you.” I reply softly, averting my eyes away from him.

“You can keep ‘em. They’re just old unused merch.” He circles his fingertips into his temple and yawns, “Can I get you anything else?”

I shake my head, “No I’m good. I think I’m just gonna crash.” I can hear myself slipping back into my normal stiff work persona even through the weed.

He nods awkwardly, “Okay, well. I guess I’ll let you get some sleep then.”

I give him a tightlipped smile. “See you in the morning.”

He heads towards his room which happens to be just behind the couch. I press my palms into my eye sockets trying to make sense of what just happened. “Fuck.” I mumble then let out a long sigh. I decided that this is a tomorrow-me problem and that I need to get some sleep. 

Being too lazy to get up, I change beneath the blanket we fucked under and assess my bedding situation. I decided that the thin duvet would make a better pillow than a cover. Once tucked in with the blanket we used as a fort, the same woodsy cologne fills my nose and oddly comforts me. I close my eyes in an attempt to ignore the scent and the feeling that accompanies it but it’s useless. My hands find the corner of the blanket, bunch it up into a little cushion, press it to my nose and inhale deeply. It smells like him, cozy and warm. A part of me wishes I’d let myself sleep in his bed, maybe even asked him to sleep in it with me. But I am anything but warm and cozy, I am frigid and stale. He wouldn’t want me chilling his bed anyway and I shouldn’t want to siphon off his warmth. I was right in that first meeting, this is already more than I bargained for.

Next Chapter -> 07 - Heartthrob Strategy

a/n: thank you so much if you took the time to read this! I'm extremely appreciative of those of you who are reblogging or commenting on previous chapters 🥺

lmk if you liked it 🖤

[imustbenuts]

Kiran is luck itself Part 2. Brief analysis of the absent mechanics in FEH.

If you’ve read part 1, welcome back. If not, here’s a brief ramble about the Luck stat in FE and its absence in FEH anyway. Stat mechanics ramble.

Luck stat in FE outside of FEH is actually a gainable stat when characters level up, but is not present in FEH. And neither is the Dex stat, but I’ll talk about this later. 

Overall, luck is… not really an important stat, but it kind of is, too. It doesn’t give a unit a tremendous consistent edge enough to fuss over it, but it does mess with 4 things significantly. These 4 things are:

Hit rate

Critical hit rate (Receiving and inflicting)

Avoid (magical evasion)

Dodge (physical evasion)

Luck also affects certain skill’s % to trigger such as Miracle and Armsthrift. 

An example from FE: Three Houses

According to fandom.com, luck in most games will increase both hit and evasion by 1 point, and reduce enemy crits by 1. But if one looks closely at how the formulas work, stats like Atk/Mag/Spd are far more important in determining the ceiling of how hard a unit can hit, which thus determines how viable they can be in a playthrough. Having a high luck character with meh stats isn't great since they tend to fall behind a lot due to inconsistent RNG, or unreliability.

So overall Luck can be overall summed up as the most useless-useful stat. It's just… better to be there and not be abysmally low, basically.

Another important stat for this topic is the Dex stat. This stat affects hit rate and crits chance. This stat is named 技 (waza, Skill) in JP, which is very apt. No matter how lucky a person is, if they can’t even draw their bow they are not going to get very far.

So. That’s like 250 words to explain 2 stats which doesn’t exist in FEH. And I think I’m being Captain Obvious here, but that’s because… Having dex and luck is going to add a layer of complexity that ultimately wastes the player’s time for what amounts to a F2P predatory gacha game.

….

Oh wait that’s not it. Wrong script. (Who says that when they’re over analyzing a F2P gacha game anyway, looool)

I mean, for my analysis about Kiran’s luck, their luck here is clocking so high that things like hit rates, dodging, crits, and skill procs become consistent rather than random RNG. It's overwritten all units' luck. It’s so high that, while having proficiency and skill in the use of a weapon is ideal, it’s not critical for survival under the OoH’s banner. It’s so high that heroes can feasibly walk into a battlefield in swimsuits and floaties and yet beat the shit out of enemies and walk away with a ‘teehee’. 

It’s so high that the game doesn’t even bother with logging the stats for our use. That skills which might only proc once in someone’s playthrough can now be consistently proc’d in 4 hits. Or less with skills.

But that luck still has its limits. 0 damage is still 0 damage and no luck can salvage that. 

I think this is why the writing in FEH gives the braincells to Alfonse and not Kiran. Rather than the tactician going "let's go to the ancient temple for a mcguffin", it's the lord, Alfonse who does it. Kiran tags along like 3 lucky cats in a trenchcoat in stories, and seem to rarely do anything by themself, which may imply that they’re keeping their head low which helps hold back the effects of that luck. (And subsequently limit the fate breaking aspect of it all)

(There’s also a common Japanese saying of, “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down”, so there’s some degree of characterization possibly going on in the main story here, but that’s not the point of this analysis.)

In my part 1, I gave a very very brief overview about their luck being present in the story, but those points aren’t the entirety of it. I left out a lot of stuff to not inflate the words. I hope people apply this theory for funsies and see how deep this could potentially go. Bc it really goes.

Anway, that’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

[jrsechelon]

Ranking Each Team

Ranking Each Team Entering Week 10 - 16 to 1

16. Balls Deep (0-9) Balls Deep still hasn't gotten a win this season. The longest losing streak in the Balls Deep franchise and the longest losing streak in Elite Fantasy League history by any team. This team cannot seem to find any form of consistency, and after a Week 9 loss to Rainelo Hawks, the one team many believed would be Balls Deeps' first victory, 0-13, is looking more and more realistic.

15. Hyrule Empire (2-7) Although Hyrule Empire would pick 4th overall if the season ended today, in these power rankings, they find themselves 15th. Losers of seven straight, Hyrule Empire is destined for another losing season, marking eight out of nine seasons being under .500%. Injuries and inconsistency continue to riddle this team which has hindered the star power we all expected to have an impact. There will be some serious talks on what player to keep moving forward into 2023 as Hyrule Empire finds itself in a top 5 draft position.

14. VanillaGorillas (2-7) A surprising victory last week over The Canadian Cripplers gave VanillasGorillas their second win on the season but even with the dub, they are still a long way from finding themselves in a position for the playoffs. Kyler Murray has been lackluster, and now on the injury report, VanillaGorillas looks toward Justin Fields, who has been gaining more and more hype. Much like the two teams below VanillaGorillas, the remaining games will be auditions for these players to see what the front office decides for 2023.

13. The Canadian Cripplers (3-6) The Canadian Cripplers suffered a big loss to damage their postseason hopes last weekend but are getting healthy coming into Week 10 with four weeks remaining. A big Week 10 match-up will truly decide how the rest of The Canadian Cripplers seasons go, whether they become buyers or sellers as the trade deadline looms (November 25th). Justin Herbert had a ton of promise leading into the season, but he has fallen short without his top targets. Sitting at 13th in the rankings, The Canadian Cripplers are playing their Super Bowl this week and must pull out the win to muster any hope.

12. The Busy Killers (4-5) The Busy Killers got a big win last week and maintained hope for a wildcard or even a division title. With the backups in last weekend, they were able to pull out a shocking upset. With Dak and company back, they have a big date against Evolution, which The Busy Killers have always struggled against. Sitting at 12th, The Busy Killers could be ranked a little higher. Still, the way the other teams are performing in front of them, they will have to continue fighting the underdog motto to find themselves higher in the rankings and possible postseason seeding.

11. Rainelo Hawks (4-5) The defending Super Bowl Champions are on a three-game winning streak and don't look now have a huge game this weekend that will truly shape seeding in the postseason. Rainelo Hawks have found help from players that aren't as well known during this three-game winning streak but have been notably lighting it up with stud receiver AJ Brown. Brown quickly makes his claim as the best receiver in the league. Sitting right outside the ten playoff spots, Rainelo Hawks are hitting the ground running at the right time. Like last year, they're looking to gain steam straight into the postseason. They find themselves in a must-win game in Week 10.

10. Black Mambas (5-4) That loss last week hurt. Black Mambas had an opportunity to cut into Rice-A-Roni's division lead. Some will say that Black Mambas shouldn't be below any team who doesn't have a winning record, but last week's performance weakened Black Mambas' case as a contender. Even though they should be able to bounce back and find themselves in the postseason, The Busy Killers exposed Black Mambas, and now that it's on film, other opposing teams will be able to execute that same style against Jalen Hurts and Black Mambas. Sitting at 10 in our rankings, Black Mambas looks like the weakest team with five or more wins.

9. Hahn's Hitters (4-5) Hahn's Hitters came alive last week. We've been waiting for this team to make some noise, and finally, their running backs woke up! By far, they have the best running trio in the league, and if these running backs can continue the kind of performance they had last week, Hahn's Hitters look like a real threat! Since giving the reigns to Trevor Lawrence, this team has been more balanced. Hahn's Hitters have a huge game this week, and cutting inside the top ten within the rankings, and they will want to prove they belong when they face the defending Super Bowl Champions.

8. Straight Edge Society (5-4) Since losing Jamaar Chase, Straight Edge Society has lost two tightly contested games. Going from the top of the division to third and being swept by LilShupeScoresBIGPoints, Straight Edge Society can't afford to lose many more games. A weekend without several of their star players this weekend against Ultimate Savages, Straight Edge Society will need to hope the trade earlier this week will take some pressure off of Kenneth Walker, whose been the bell cow the last few weeks. Seeing how Chase will not be in the lineup for a little longer, acquiring Hopkins can be a big win if they can start winning. Getting the win this week and moving up into the rankings, Straight Edge Society can become a terrifying team once they get healthy, having Hopkins, Chase, and Jeudy facing off against defenses down the stretch.

7. Evolution (5-4) Evolution stopped Yuba City Sultans from winning their division last week and moved their winning streak to two straight. Evolution continues to find ways to push toward its fifteenth straight postseason appearance. This year has been a bit more difficult than years past, but Evolution, through trades and sound judgment within the free agency, has become a duel threat team on the ground, in the air, and on the defensive side of things. At 7th overall in our rankings. Evolution again looks like they will be heading to the postseason, whether as a division champion or a wildcard team - they seem to be heading in the right direction as long as Tua Tagovailoa remains healthy.

6. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints (6-3) A last-minute drive led by Tom Brady secured the win for LilShupeScoresBIGPoints, but it left more questions than answers. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints hasn't looked like the dominant team we've grown to know them to be. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints sits at 6th in our rankings but could easily be lower. They haven't made much of a statement in over a month now. Still, sweeping divisional opponent Straight Edge Society ensures their chance of winning the Northern-Midwest division, as long as they don't fail to win when they should - like this coming Sunday against the lowly Hyrule Empire. Brady has to play better, regardless of being the GOAT and passing for over 100,000 yards in his career. For LilShupeScoresBIGPoints to maintain a high ranking and a chance to higher seeding, Brady is going to have to put this team on his back moving forward.

5. Black Hole Son (6-3) Black Hole Son losers of two straight and suffered a massive defeat last week against Ultimate Savages, Black Hole Son is a bit in limbo. Barely maintaining their division lead, they will be without Lamar Jackson this week in a game they need with Ultimate Savages nipping at their heels. Sitting at 5 in the rankings, Black Hole Son will hope their running backs can shoulder the brunt of the load this weekend. Trading away star receivers DeAndre Hopkins and Amari Cooper, a few are scratching their heads as to what the general manager is thinking when they've been holding strong in the Cascadia Sunbelt division and overall as a top team in the EFL.

4. Crocs (6-3) Crocs lost last week but maintained first in their division due to how things fell between Straight Edge Society and LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. At 4th in the rankings, Crocs need to figure out their quarterback situation to continue their success. Matthew Stafford has played lackluster and is dealing with concussions, and Ryan Tannehill has been suffering from injuries himself. Derrick Henry is the workhorse but will need help for the Crocs to have continued success. Sitting at 4th in the rankings isn't a bad spot for a second-year team, but with a very tight division, they will need to win this week over a team they should defeat handily.

3. Ultimate Savages (6-3) Ultimate Savages has turned its season around. Not having a draft pick until the sixth round back in August, many left this team dead in the water, but they have wheeled and dealed to the point that they find themselves a threat in their division and a contender against the rest of the teams in the league. At 3rd in our rankings, Ultimate Savages has impressed with a five-game winning streak and a chance to take over first place in their division this week if things fall the way they need. Ultimate Savages have been impressive and have their coach in the talks for 'Coach of the Year.'

2. Rice-A-Roni (7-2) While Ultimate Savages coach maybe being considered as 'Coach of the Year, Rice-A-Roni's general manager is being talked about within the EFL circles as 'GM of the Year.' Boy, have they maintained a great strength of offense and defense every week. Rice-A-Roni's came out of nowhere in their first year in a tough league and have opposed their will upon their opponents weekly. Sitting at 2nd in our rankings, Rice-A-Roni is bound to have a top seed in the postseason and might even possibly grab the top seed. In a game this week against Balls Deep (divisional opponent), Rice-A-Roni can almost taste a Golden State division title as the season draws to an end. Before that, though, they will need to watch whether star quarterback Josh Allen can play, but if not, they've shown they can still win with backup quarterback Jimmy G.

1. Yuba City Sultans (7-2) Yuba City Sultans sits at the top of our rankings and the top of the league as the number one seed. Although they lost to division rival Evolution, Yuba City Sultans shouldn't be too concerned. The Sultan's running game is getting healthy and becoming more powerful, and their receivers are one of the better cores in the league, and fifth-year quarterback Daniel Jones has taken that next step as a franchise quarterback. The Sultans usually take losses better than most teams; they learn lessons and tend not to make the same mistake twice. I wouldn't be surprised if Yuba City Sultans don't lose another game for the rest of the season. At 1st in our rankings, Yuba City Sultans looks to be the team to beat going forward, and their famous quote from the draft seems to be more true than ever. "They're doing alright, kids."

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

[widevewor]

Should i get a mac or pc for coding

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING PRO#

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING SOFTWARE#

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING CODE#

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING PC#

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING MAC#

It finally ditched that awful keyboard, and it added a ton of horsepower, which makes it more appealing for those of us who work with video.

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING PRO#

Recently, with the launch of the 16-inch MacBook Pro (and now the updated 13-inch as well), Apple addressed some of the issues I’d had before I made my switch. These college-ready computers will help you excel. I’ve also had it refuse to charge past 87 percent (or sometimes 93 percent), only for it to charge all the way to 100 the next time I plug it in. I had a ton of work to do that day, and there were no outlets on that five-hour flight. I once put it in, fully charged, then pulled it out on a flight only to discover that it had awakened for reasons unknown, was blazing hot, and that the battery had drained to 17 percent. It’s also done that when unplugged, tucked away in my backpack. It’s gotten so hot at times that the glue has melted and both strips have fallen off. The bottom of the laptop had two rubber strips to keep it from sliding around on a table. But what the hell is it doing? And why? It woke up like this once when it was plugged in, and it whirred all night and was too hot to pick up in the morning. It just suddenly fires up, and the fan is screaming, so you can tell it’s working hard. It has a tendency to randomly turn itself on when it’s supposed to be asleep, even when the lid is closed. I’ve mostly loved this HP laptop I selected that day at Best Buy, but it does this weird thing. As if to emphasize this, while demand for virtual reality content is steadily growing, Steam just announced that it will be discontinuing SteamVR support for macOS. Much of that is owed to the modular nature of PCs, where you can slap a super-powered graphics processor into your chassis, but the net result is there are far fewer games for Apple computers.

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING SOFTWARE#

The one arena where Windows has the software advantage is gaming. By contrast, the same task in macOS involves four straightforward steps.

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING CODE#

How do you do that, you ask? Why, just follow these elaborate steps through the baffling Registry Editor and enter some code into a sea of gobbledygook. At one point, I wanted to change one of Windows’ default keyboard shortcuts. Each one signifies an error, but Windows often doesn’t tell me what I did wrong, or even what application is protesting. These are the best Windows notebooks, MacBooks, and Chromebooks on a budget. Inconsistencies abound: Sometimes Control+F4 closes an application, and sometimes it’s Alt+F4, even in Microsoft’s own programs. Tasks that used to be done with Apple’s Command key are done with Windows’ Control key. Muscle memory is very stubborn, so this made things frustrating.

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING MAC#

In my writing and video editing, I’ve come to rely heavily on keyboard shortcuts-those magical keystroke combinations that save tons of mousing-but shortcuts in Windows are virtually never the same as their Mac counterparts. Even within Windows itself, you’ll find screens that look modern and fabulous (like the Start menu and the excellent multitasking interface) alongside things like the Disk Management application, which looks like it teleported here from decades ago. Some Windows applications look like they haven’t been updated since the late '90s. There is no way of getting around it: Windows just doesn’t have the same level of polish as macOS, the new name Apple has given to the operating system formerly known as OS X. After many hours of research and hand-wringing, I decided to take the plunge and go back to Windows. It had the latest-generation silicon, and even with 16 gigs of RAM, the whole thing would cost roughly half the price of the MacBook Pro with weaker specs. It could be folded back into a (gigantic) tablet, and it even had a mechanical webcam kill switch for added security. It had a gorgeous 4K screen-and a touchscreen at that! It sported a pair of Thunderbolt-equipped USB-C ports, as well as a standard USB-A, a full-sized HDMI port, and an SD card slot. Most looked like relics made of cheap plastic, but there was one that immediately caught my eye: The 15.6-inch HP Spectre x360.

#SHOULD I GET A MAC OR PC FOR CODING PC#

In a bit of a daze, I wandered over to the PC laptops. And for this I was supposed to pay 4,000 bucks? I was shocked. The screen was nice, but that display hadn’t really improved much since my late-2012 model, and it was using processors and graphics cards from nearly a whole year earlier. I hated that it had only USB-C ports, and I imagined myself in dongle hell each time I needed to connect a standard USB-A cord or an HDMI cable. The keyboard was awful-the same “butterfly switch” model that would soon become notorious-and as I tried some online typing tests in the store, the errors piled up. So I went to a Best Buy to try the latest and greatest MacBook Pro.

[deceitful-darlings]

🌼 Yandere Big Daddy headcanons from game BioShock, pleaseeee

I did see this exact ask on another blog in my travels, but since they said they don’t write for Bioshock my heart attack ceased and I’m happy to answer! Just know I’ve never played the games before so any lore inconsistencies are down to me being an idiot!

Big Daddies are literally the perfect template for being protective yanderes, because that’s literally what they’re programmed to do. They’re warped knights, defenders, and that trait gets imprinted on anything that is able to break through their conditioning in some way, shape, or form.

With the original ones/later models, they’re able to discern more between threats and non-threats, so there’s more chance of being registered to them as a non-threatening entity that they don’t need to care or worry about.

Most of what they do is through conditioning and for the sake of the little sisters, so winning over the Little Sisters would be necessary. How were you supposed to know that protecting a weird little girl from a Splicer would end up with you being in this situation?!

Protecting her had been a natural instinct, even if she was a Little Sister, she was still a normal girl once, and seeing such an idealised world, she saw you as another knight to keep them safe, you don’t look like Mr. Bubbles! You don’t look exactly like a party guest either, you’re pretty and shiny!

When she grabs yours hand you’re surprised, she isn’t running away from you or scared. Instead, she drags you along with her while she harvests ADAM. She hasn’t had a new friend in ages, the angels are too busy to play with her, but you’re different!

And you just can’t say no, even with how weird she is. She isn’t normal, she harvests ADAM from corpses and laughs while she does it, but a part of you can’t help but feel sorry for her as she skips around the broken world of Rapture. So, you follow her as she wants, keeping the Splicers away from her as she...plays.

Coming across the Big Daddy is terrifying, he’s a hulking great machine/human hybrid after all. But he doesn’t attack you, simply lifts the Little Sister onto his shoulder and turns to leave. But he stops when the Little Sister starts crying.

“No, Mr. B! Don’t leave Shiny behind!”

Perhaps it’s similar to the way they can break out of their conditioning with the world in times of stress, but there’s something in her mind that doesn’t want to let you go, be it the more buried child who’s lonely, or the Little Sister liking her new friend, but her distress triggers the Big Daddy.

They’re built to protect the Sisters, and he can tell you leaving is what’s causing her some form of pain. He can’t let her be sad, so as you’re preparing to walk away you find a hand wrapping around your torso, hiking you onto his other shoulder. You’re not a Little Sister, he can tell that, but they all work as a hivemind. The other Little Sisters come to like you too, meaning that every Big Daddy will work together to make sure you’re protected from any and all things that could cause you to be hurt.

The programming soon twists slightly because of the situation, reasoning soon doesn’t matter because only their purpose does, it fades away because like most things they don’t need to remember the reasoning behind what they’re doing. They don’t just protect the Little Sisters now, they protect you.

With the Alpha series things are a little different, there’s no chance of getting close to them later due to the loss of their specific Little Sister making them shut down or go mad. But that in itself is an opportunity.

Of course, when this was discovered by the scientists, it caused issues with the Big Daddies who’d lost their Little Sisters being overly aggressive, making them difficult to contain, and to continue their research and to stop these rouge Big Daddies drawing too much attention they need to be dealt with.

So they branch off into other experiments to help with containment, of course people die and get ripped to shreds by the Big Daddies, but you, sold off to Fontaine Futuristics by your asshole landlord when you couldn’t afford your rent to ‘pay off your debt’, are the first to actually work.

It took a lot of trial and error, but for you they’re able to create a pheromone mimic, it doesn’t work on Little Sisters, it blocks their ability to create ADAM, but for you it makes it so that for a Big Daddy without their Little Sister, you smell like the Sister they lost. Of course, this makes them extremely protective over you because of their slip into madness, they can’t risk losing the scent of their Sister again. Anything that breathes in a 10 mile radius of you is dead.

[4stars-uswnt]

My Muse, My Valentine [Christen Press x Reader]

requested by anon: Not sure if you’re accepting any request but can you write a cp x photographer gf where her gf surprised her at man u, like her gf secretly transfer there to be with cp. Thanks

A/N: please ignore some of the inconsistencies this story has with reality :) but anyways... hope you enjoy and have a happy Valentine’s Day (tomorrow) and remember it’s a day about LOVE, whether that be romantic, platonic, familial, or self ❤️

“I’m gonna miss you,” you whine, as you watch your girlfriend pack her suitcase.

“I know, babe. I’m gonna miss you too, so much.” Christen leans down to quickly peck your lips, before continuing to fold her clothes.

You and Christen had been dating for almost three years now, having met after you’d photographed one of the USWNT’s matches. You instantly felt an attraction to the curly-haired forward, your camera always drifting towards her wherever she was on the pitch.

After you’d posted a couple of your photos on your Instagram, which Christen made a point to like and repost, you gathered up the courage to approach her after a game, and thus began your relationship.

With yours and Christen’s busy schedules, it was sometimes hard to find time for each other, but you made it work, sharing an apartment in Portland during the offseason and flying out for matches when you could. But being a sports photographer did have its benefits, as your work often led you to spending more time with your girlfriend and admiring her speed down the field and score goals.

But now, with the pandemic, as the NWSL was struggling to field games,  you found yourself with little work. Christen herself was not quite satisfied with the league’s plan for the season, so when Tobin proposed the idea of going to the WSL, she desperately wanted to, yearning to get back on the pitch.

At first, when Christen approached you with the subject, you immediately opposed, not wanting to be so far from your girlfriend for such a long amount of time. Additionally, with COVID, it would be nearly, if not completely, impossible for you to visit. But after a blowout fight and discussing it further, you realized that this is what would be best for Christen and her career.

“Do you have to go?” You pout, sitting up and moving to the end of the bed.

“You know I do, (Y/N/N).” Christen playfully rolls her eyes.

“Humph.”

“Babe, come on, don’t make me feel worse about leaving you.”

“Then don’t,” you quip, grabbing your girlfriend by the waist, pulling her down on the bed with you.

“Babe!” Christen squeals, as you blow raspberries into her skin.

You lift your head from the crook of her neck, your eyes locking with hers. “I know that you have to go,” you admit seriously. “Doesn’t mean I like it, but I know that this is what’s best for your career.”

“Thank you, (Y/N),” she says earnestly, giving you a small smile. “We’ll text and FaceTime everyday.”

“I’m holding you to that.” You cup her face and bring her in for a kiss, savoring the feeling of her soft lips on yours. “I also know that you’re gonna kill it over there in Manchester. The WSL isn’t gonna know what hit them.”

Christen ducks her bashfully, a small blush arising on her cheeks. “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course, Chris. I love you, too.”

“Good.” She gives you a quick peck, as she gets up from the bed. “Now, either quit bothering me or help me. My flight is early tomorrow morning, and I haven’t even finished packing.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

—————

It had been a little over five months since you’d dropped Christen off at the airport and she left for Manchester. Despite the constant texting and the nightly FaceTime calls, you couldn’t help but ache for your girlfriend. Without her, the apartment was lonelier and the bed felt bigger.

It had helped that your work had started back up, first with some freelance work and then with the NWSL fall series starting, which gave you something to do and kept you fairly busy.

Currently, you were sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping on a cup of coffee, as you edited some photos for the Thorns. Just as you were saving your work and closing Lightroom, about to shut your computer, a ping alerts a new email in your inbox.

Switching tabs, you notice the message is from an unfamiliar address, so you presume it’s a new client. You click and open it, your eyes widening, as you scan the email:

Ms. (Y/L/N),

I noticed your professional portfolio through many referrals, particularly your work form the World Cup. I am writing on behalf of the BBC News Media Centre, and we’re looking for an excellent sports photographer to join the team, specifically to cover the FA Women’s Super League and the Premier League.

Your experience is outstanding, adn your work speaks for itself. I think you’d be a great fit for this role, and I’d love to tell you more about it and hear more from you.

Would you like to set up a phone or Zoom call soon? If so, let me know when you’re available.

Best,

Charles Smith

Director of Media Relations at BBC Sport

You quickly reread the email, and then reread it again, just to make sure you’re not dreaming. This was too good to be true. But you shake yourself out of your stupor and quickly type out a response to set up a phone call as soon as possible.

After hitting send, you shut your computer with excitement and throw your hands up in the air.

“Yes!” You exclaim into the empty apartment, as you throw your fist in the air and jump off the barstool.

Knowing you needed to distract yourself, otherwise you’d just be staring at your computer, eagerly awaiting the response, you decided to go on a run.

Jogging through the city, you think of your girlfriend and your potential reunion if this job offer worked out. You decided that if you did in fact take this position, you’d surprise Christen at one of her matches, hopefully one that you’d be able to photograph.

As soon as you arrive back in your apartment, you make a beeline for your laptop. You anxiously open your inbox and beam when you see Charles had replied to set up a Zoom call at 9:30 tomorrow morning. You excitedly type out pleasantries, telling him you’re looking forward to it.

For the rest of the afternoon, you were in an increasingly good mood. So later that evening, when Christen called you for your routine FaceTime, she could tell something was up.

“Why do you keep smiling like that?”

“Can I not be happy to talk to my girlfriend?” You tease, a huge grin plastered onto your face.

“You can,” Christen trails off, not quite believing you. “But you have the weird giddy look you get when something’s up?”

“Nothing’s up. Just had a good day,” you shrug nonchalantly.

“Okay,” the forward accepts, still eyeing you suspiciously. “Anyways, you know She Believes is in a couple weeks, are you working the tournament?”

“Yup,” you nod and make a mental note to mention that to Charles tomorrow.

The two of you continue updating each other, chatting about topics ranging from what you had for breakfast that day to re-inc’s upcoming drop.

“Alright,” Christen yawns. “I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

You check your phone and see it’s 5:37 pm, meaning it’s almost midnight in Manchester.

“Okay,” your eyes softening at the sight of your sleepy girlfriend. “Good night, Chris. I love you.”

“Love you, too, babe. G’night.”

After ending the call and shutting your laptop, you head into the kitchen to make some dinner for yourself, getting on with your evening.

—————

The next morning, you anxiously await for Charles to begin the Zoom call, nervously bouncing your knee and biting your lip.

“Hi, (Y/N),” Charles greets, his face appearing on your screen.

“Good morning. Or rather good afternoon?” You correct with a light chuckle, to which he reciprocates.

“Well, as you know from my email, we are looking for a photographer to join our team, and from many referrals, you seem to be a very good candidate,

“So, I was thinking maybe we could look at your portfolio really quickly and then hash out the logistics to see if this is something that could work out.”

“Sounds good,” you agree, as you pull up some of your best pictures and share your screen.

The two of you look through your photos, many from the 2019 World Cup, some of the Olympics, and a few from random NWSL games.

“Well, (Y/N), your work is quite impressive. If you’re ready, and you’re seriously interested in this position, we can talk specifics, scheduling, all that good stuff,” Charles offers.

“I’m definitely interested, but can I just preface by saying that my girlfriend is a major part of this decision, so depending on what she wants to do at the end of the season will impact my contract.”

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows, clearly not expecting your candor. “Your girlfriend plays in the WSL?”

“Yeah, well, technically only for this season. Her contract is up in May,” you explain.  

“(Y/N), to be completely frank, we’re looking to hire because a couple of our photographers had some personal issues due to COVID and had to leave mid-season,” Charles reveals. “So if it turns out that your girlfriend wants to go back to the NWSL, then we can work that out. And if she wants to stay, and you end up liking it here and you fit in well, we can also work that out. We’re pretty flexible.”

You sigh in relief, giving him a small smile. “Wow, thank you so much. So what would my contract look like?”

“Well, we can sign you to three month contract with the option for extension,” he offers, as you nod along enthusiastically.

“That sounds great,” you exclaim, beaming. “And just to let you know, I’ve already signed on to work the She Believes tournament from the 18th to the 21st.”

“That actually aligns with the WSL’s international break, and there are a couple Premier League matches that weekend, but I think we can manage, so that shouldn’t be an issue.”

“You guys are too kind and so flexible. I really appreciate it so much,” you say earnestly.

“It’s really just us being desperate for a good photographer,” Charles jokes.

“Either way, I’m grateful for this opportunity.”

“We’re excited for you to join our team,” he reciprocates. “So, in terms of when you’ll begin, I honestly would like you to come over as soon as possible so that you can get settled and get acclimated.”

“I am honestly ready to start whenever you’ll have me.”

“How about next week? The Manchester Derby is on Friday, and honestly, given your portfolio, I’d love you to photograph that match,” the British man admits.

“That’s perfect!” You were in complete awe of how perfectly everything was working out. Photographing a Man United match as your first job meant you could surprise Christen, maybe as an early Valentine’s gift.

“Great,” Charles smiles.

The two of you discuss and finalize your contract and the logistics of you starting the job. Once everything’s settled and you each have the information you need, you wrap up the call.

“Well, thank you so much, Charles, for this offer, and I can’t wait to see you next Tuesday.”

“I can’t wait to work with you and meet you. See you next week. Cheers.”

After ending the Zoom call, you begin to make a COVID test appointment, book your flight, and arrange your hotel room for the few days that Christen doesn’t know you’re there, preparing yourself for moving across the world.

—————

After landing in London, getting settled into your hotel, and meeting with the BBC team and the other photographers, you were now on your way to the Manchester Derby.

In the back of the black cab, you pull out your phone to text a good luck text to Christen.

It was difficult to keep your surprise a secret, especially when you were actually in England, because it was much more difficult to FaceTime without her noticing your change in setting. You had to make up the excuse that you were swarmed with editing and preparing for the upcoming Thorns trainings.

As you pull up to the Academy Stadium, you hear your phone ding.

Chris ❤️

Thanks babe. Miss and love you 😘

You quickly type out a response, before heading into the building.

(Y/N/N) 💗

Love you too. I miss u too but go kick butt.

The match was exhilarating. Not only were you a sports photographer, but you were also a huge fan of the game, enjoying a good game when you see one.

You watched in awe, the level and style of play significantly different from than NWSL. While snapping hundreds of photos of both teams, your camera would always somehow land back on your girlfriend.

Your heart ached for the curly-haired forward, as you missed her dearly. Until you saw her back on the pitch, you hadn’t really realized that you missed watching her play the game that she’d mastered, her movements around the pitch and on the ball effortless and elegant.

As the ref blew the whistle, signaling the end of the half, you scroll through some of the photos you’d taken, deleting some of the blurry and unfocussed ones.

A smile immediately forms on your face when you see a picture of Christen during warmups with a huge grin on her face. You spend all of halftime editing said photo and putting together an Instagram post for your girlfriend.

About fifteen minutes later, the teams take the pitch and you go back to doing your job. Throughout the second half, you could tell that Christen was getting increasingly frustrated, her team getting down 3-0 with only about five minutes left.

You watch as the players high five and hug each other, and you want nothing more than to run onto the field to be with your girlfriend, but you had a plan to stick to.

As the team goes back into the locker room, you pull out your phone to post a photo on Instagram and then you shoot a quick text to Tobin:

(Y/N)🤓:

toby go check out my ig post :))

Back in the Man United locker room, after Casey went through her post match speech, Tobin checks her phone and sees a text from you. The injured forward playfully rolls her eyes at your message but follows your directions.

Upon opening the social media app, Tobin raises her eyebrows, her eyes widening. She glances across the room to see if her best friend had seen your post, but Christen was minding her own business, changing into sweats after her shower.

“Chris!” The older forward calls over to the other woman. “Have you seen your girlfriend’s Instagram post?”

Christen furrows her brows in confusion. “What? No, what is it?”

Tobin waves her friend over and shows her the post:

Liked by mrapinoe, ashlynharris24, and 638,231 others

yourusername: My muse, my valentine.

“As I sat and looked at her

and the rolling hills she sat upon

I thought,

what amazing luck I have

that the world had created

such beautiful things

and given me the eyes to see them.”

- atticus

tagged: christenpress

- - - - -

mrapinoe: Stunning pictures, (Y/N). Love you guys 💖

alikrieger: These photos are 🔥🔥🔥🔥

alexmorgan13: love this 😍😍

cdunn19: Beautiful!

glennondoyle: Love love love love this!!

ashlynharris24: Holy shit! Are you in Manchester????

↳lavellerose: Was this today??

↳sammymewyy: Oh my gosh it was!

↳kellyohara: Valentine’s Day surprise for Pressy?? 👀

Christen zooms in on the photo in the center, her eyes widening when she realizes that it is from today’s match.

“How did she get that picture?”

Tobin mentally slaps her forehead at her friend’s denseness. “Knowing (Y/N), she probably took it.”

“But that’s impossible. She’s in the States,” Christen states and shakes her head, dumbfounded.

“Actually,” you speak up, stepping into the locker room, deciding to make your presence known. “I’m right here.”

“(Y/N)?” Your girlfriend looks up at you, her mind in a state of shock.

“Hey, love,” you greet shyly.

Once her mind caught up with reality, Christen runs and jumps into your body, kissing you passionately but briefly and wrapping you into a bone crushing hug.

“I can’t believe your here,” she whispers into your neck. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, babe, so much.”

Unwrapping herself from the hug, Christen stares at you in awe. “What… how are you here?”

“We can talk about that later,” you give her another quick kiss. “But right now, I just wanna spend time with you. Maybe we can grab some dinner? You can show me around Manchester, considering I’m gonna be spending a lot of time here.”

Your girlfriend looks at you puzzled, but you just give her a wink with a small smirk on your face.

“Well, c’mon lets get out of here.”

—————

Back at Christen’s apartment, the two of you sit down for a nice and casual, but romantic, dinner you’d prepared along with a bottle of red wine.

After catching up, the forward finally decides to address the elephant in the room. “So how are you here? What’s going on, (Y/N/N)? You said earlier that you’d be spending a lot of time in Manchester, what does that mean? I’m so confused. Not that I’m grateful that you’re here right now and that I get to see you, but I thought you were working She Believes, and—“

“Chris,” you cut off your girlfriend’s endearing rambling. “Babe, you’re rambling.”

“Sorry,” she blushes, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“I got a job with BBC Sport till the end of the season,” you answer her parade of questions.

“Does that mean what I think it does?”

You nod, while taking a sip of your water. “It means I’m yours if you’ll have me.”

Not having the adequate words to express her joy and excitement, Christen gets up from her chair, walks over to sit in your lap, and connects you lips for a searing kiss.

“I can’t believe you,” she breathes, rubbing her nose against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you quickly peck her lips while rubbing circles on her hip. “But as much as I love you and all this romance, we gotta get going soon.”

Your girlfriend tilts her head in confusion.

“Do the words ‘She Believes’ ring a bell?” You tease. “If I remember correctly, our flight leaves in a couple hours.”

“You’re coming with me?” Christen asks, her brain trying to wrap around the fact that her girlfriend, who she hadn’t seen in almost five months, would now be living with her in England and flying back to the States with her for the next week.

“Of course, Chris,” you give her a cheeky smile, along with a kiss to her nose, as you quote a book Becky had convinced the whole team to read. “You should know by now that I’d follow you anywhere. You’re the only good thing left in this world.”

[stxleslyds]

ROBIN #5 BUT IT’S JUST ME TALKING ABOUT JASON.

Hey, how are you guys doing? I wasn’t going to review this issue and I won’t because this isn’t really a review, this is just me talking about Jason’s involvement in this story.

I mentioned in a previous reblog (as well as in a old post) that I am not a fan of Joshua Williamson’s way of writing Jason. I think that he, like Lobdell, thinks of Jason in a way that doesn’t really match Jason’s origin (UtRH, Lost Days) or his current stories (RHatO, RHO, and other brief appearances), I think that Williamson is writing this sort of mesh between fanon Jason and a self-indulgent Jason that results in a very... bland and kinda repetitive version of Jason.

I have also talked about my dislike of his writing from a “romance” perspective. I absolutely didn’t like how he wrote the supposed “relationship” that Jason had with Rose in Future State: Red Hood. It honestly left a very nasty taste in my mouth after I read those issues and I just didn’t see their chemistry, to be honest, while I was reading those issues I felt like Williamson was writing an “unrequited love” thing between both of them (Jason being in love and Rose not at all).

That is of course my opinion. I know that many people like this relationship and I respect that but just as a heads up, I am not a fan of Jason being involved in any sort of romantic relationship with anyone. It’s just something that I would rather not see in a Red Hood story and that’s just the way I see it (once again, you are welcome to think otherwise).

Now, after I have said all that (which I believe is necessary because I like to tell you guys my general stances on Jason related stuff), I can begin my “review” of Jason’s appearances in this issue. 

Let’s begin!

Rose calling Jason to tell him about Damian.

Yeah, I find this weird. Since when are Jason and Rose talking? Here is where I am lost because I think that I am missing some information. 

This Jason right here is supposed to be the Jason that was at the end of Urban Legends #6, right? The last time that I remember Jason interaction with Rose was back in RHatO vol.1 #40, I know that Rose had a “relationship” with Jason in DCeased and in Future State (Red Hood and Gotham) but here is the thing, DCeased is a story that doesn’t belong to this or any continuities so it doesn’t count and Future State is set in the future, and a future that might never happen at that. So, where is this “Jason and Rose being in contact” thing coming from? If anyone knows, please let me know. 

Anyway, I just think that Rose contacting Dick would have made more sense but I guess I am missing some context here but hey, I am here to also learn.

The other thing I would like to talk about these panels is Jason not wanting Damian to be involved in a dangerous “death tournament”. Oh, well colour me not surprised at all by that fact, than you so much. 

Who would have thought that Jason would have a problem with a child being involved in a dangerous situation (me, that’s who), I guess that this is confirmation of DC not reading their own material because in one book Jason’s helping a kid “kill” the Joker and here Jason is like “WHY DID YOU JOIN A DEATH TOURNAMENT DAMIAN!?” (did ya put your name in the goblet of fire?!?! said Dumbledore calmly). I guess this Omniverse thing that DC has going on is helpful when you want to blame inconsistencies on something other than poor management on DC’s part. 

I just think that it’s funny. And also right on the line of OOC and in character for Jason, because I can actually see Jason being worried if a kid is joining that sort of thing, but I also don’t see Jason caring much about what Damian does or doesn’t. 

“If I can come home, so can you”

Good lord, I am not having a good time. I hate this. If this is your first time coming across one of my post, Hi! My name is Tati and I absolutely hate the fact that the fanon concept of “Batfamily” is being integrated in actual comics canon. 

This is so bad, what the hell is Jason saying? This man knows nothing about Damian’s situation, why would Jason not think that Damian has his own reasons not to go back “home”??? 

And what the HELL is Jason calling “home”, is he calling Batman or the Batfamily “home”??? Child, are you on crack? Honest question, because Bruce has done nothing for you, he has done awful things to you and he really doesn’t like you. 

Let’s be honest for a second, Bruce hates what Jason has become ever since he came back from the dead, Bruce hates the fact that Jason has a different way of seeing things. He only tolerates Jason when he can molde him the way that he wants. 

I mean, what the hell is this, why would Jason, after the events of Batman and Robin (2011) #20, RHatO (2016) #25 and even Urban Legends #6, want to go back to Bruce or any of his bullshit? Why? How many times does DC have to prove itself that Jason and Bruce don’t work well together anymore? How long until they realise that Jason doesn’t fit in their Bat-narrative? 

I am so tired of this, I swear, when will this end?

Jason and Damian have a chat.

I don’t mean to be repetitive but, what the hell is this? 

First of all, here we are again with writers wanting to encapsulate every Robin’s whole being in one word, don’t they get tired of being this basic? Dick is experienced, Tim is smart... how dull do you have to be? I this was your attempt at having Damian waste time then you could have had him say something more creative. 

“You are the most emotional”, what does that mean? I mean, i guess it’s true but how is that relevant here, or why would that catch Jason off guard? Is it because fanon Jason is the epitome of “bad boy with a heart of gold” or...?

Also, Jason returning the hug after such a wild conversation has me wondering what the hell is going on, weren’t these two fighting the last time they saw each other? Why didn’t Jason realise that Damian hugging him is off?

Jason is a dumbass.  

Well, he isn’t, Jason Nation knows that but he has been written as if he were a dumbass. How did Jason not see that Damian had ulterior motives when he “hugged” him? Jason, my love, you guys fought the last time you saw each other and because the Omniverse is a thing, you also tried to kill Damian...

Why wouldn’t you think that Damian going for a hug was actually a trap? Are you being written as an unintelligent human being again to make another character look good when you are easily defeated? Is that it? 

Yeah, that’s it. 

I don’t know what else I can say about this panel, like come on, give Jason a little credit, we swear he is smart DC! 

Don’t try to play games with Dick, Jason. 

Dick was having none of it! What was he thinking? Jason got his ass tasered and now he is like “Dick why would you let Damian play games with you?”. Why do people write Jason this way? Why is he the dumbass/comic relief nowadays? Is this why he was dragged back to the Bat? So he can be the dumb one with snarky remarks? 

How boring.

-

Listen, I think that this issue was good when it came to Dick and Damian’s moments, they are the ones that have more history together, they respect and love each other enormously. Their interaction were really good, very enjoyable. My problem with this issue was obviously Jason’s presence and the part that they let him play. After reading this, I know that I was right when I thought that Jason shouldn’t have been put here. It doesn’t make sense and it does nothing for Jason’s characterization. 

So yeah, those are my thoughts on this, as always, you are welcome to think differently! 

[therealvinelle]

Hi! I was reading through your meta (which is reeeeally interesting) and noticed you said you don't like Eleazar? I was wondering why that was?

Tumblr ate this ask when I had almost finished it and I hate everything. Also, thanks for the compliment, I’m really glad you like my things.

Now to try and remember what I wrote about Eleazar…

I think Eleazar is a disagreeable person whose gift wasn’t useful enough to warrant a place in the Volturi guard, and Aro jumped on the Carmen-shaped excuse to give him an honorable discharge.

To start with the gift, we see him use it twice and neither time is particularly impressive.

Siobhan Siobhan has the power of reality manipulation. Her gift is noticeable enough that Carlisle is certain she has it, so when he gets Eleazar and Siobhan in a room together he pulls Eleazar over to see if he was right. Eleazar squints at Siobhan. And he squints. Finally he says, «I’ve got nothing.» Now, gifts are an iffy, complicated matter everyone has their own theories about, but I think that at the end of the day we can all agree it’s a binary, you’re gifted or you’re not. Some gifts may be weak, but those are still gifts. And maybe someone will touch the gray zone of «is it a gift or is Johnny the vampire just really good at juggling?», but Siobhan has the power to manipulate reality, and she must do it a lot for Carlisle to have come to suspect it in the first place. She has a definitive and powerful gift. And even if I’m wrong about gifts being binary, if Eleazar wants to be useful to Aro he should still be able to say: Yes, this person has a gift, or no, this person does not have a gift. Sadly, he is not. When brought before Siobhan he says «She could have a gift, she could also not have a gift.» This means he hasn’t detected her gift, which is bad enough by itself. Being able to tell if someone has a gift or not should be a dealbreaker. The way he answers, though, that she could very well have a gift he doesn’t know about, makes it clear that people having gifts he couldn’t detect has happened enough for him to be open to the possibility that the gift there, and he can’t see it. In other words, Eleazar isn’t reliable for detecting gifts and will give Aro false negatives.

Bella This is an aside but as it’ll inevitably come up later in my blog I’ll just drop here that I think Bella’s gift is something more complex than a shield. She has prophetic dreams, hallucination!Edward, and there’s a weird inconsistency as to who is blocked by her and who isn’t. I think her gift is self-preservation, and the shield is one of its manifestations. Anyway, onto discrediting Eleazar. (I’ll be pretty closely paraphrasing what happens in chapter 31 of Breaking Dawn, but since the interaction goes on for several pages I’m not going to clutter this post by pasting all of it.) To his credit, he does notice Bella right away, and he identifies her as a shield based on the fact that he gets this sense of nothingness from her. This is all he can do, however, and I can’t stress that enough. He assumes that she can block Edward, but he’s shocked to learn that she can block Aro. He’s just as surprised that she can block Jane and Alec. He has to interview her to deduce exactly what her gift does, which again has nothing to do with his gift. Anyone could ask questions, in fact Aro found all this out two books ago, without the help of Eleazar. Eleazar then starts musing aloud about who-would-win in a Renata vs. Bella showdown (more on that later), which is as tactless as it is revealing. The guy genuinely doesn’t know, and it’s because he doesn’t understand their gifts well enough. Eleazar’s power means he can tell Bella that she has a gift, and he knows roughly what it is. He muses that usually he can’t even tell that much, which again is quite damning. He can’t tell her exactly what she does without a game of 20 questions first. She gives him more information than he gives her, which he then regurgitates back to her with slightly different wording, and everybody claps. «My god, Eleazar, you’ve done it again!» (No, really, this is pretty much what happens. Eleazar brought no new information to the table, yet he blew Bella and Edward’s minds.) It’s all fun and games to do this for Bella and Edward, as they for various reasons genuinely didn’t realize she had a gift. For Aro, who figured this one out on his own, one begins to wonder what Eleazar was bringing to the table.

Carlisle Bonus bullet point! I’ll make this one brief. I believe Carlisle in canon has a gift he’s unaware of (Yes, I have a post planned, but it will get ugly long so god knows when it’ll come), which makes him another one of Eleazar’s gift detection fails. In short, I think he’s extremely charismatic, able to win over anybody. To list a few examples - he has an extremely diverse set of friends who in Breaking Dawn are willing to lay down their lives for him, Jacob muses how his instinctive hostility around vampires doesn’t apply to Carlisle, and vampires are terrifying to humans (don’t be fooled by the movies, people) yet Carlisle is able to work as a successful doctor, meaning his patients don’t mind being exposed to a killing machine even when they’re at their most vulnerable. He’s able to keep his family of sociopaths in line. There’s not a single person in the Twilight ‘verse that dislikes him. (Billy and Caius excepted, but Billy has no direct exposure to him until late Eclipse, and Caius is responding to a coven that’s potentially threatening the Volturi) People are free to disagree with me on this one, but if I’m right (and I have a lot of book quotes as well as a theory on what gifts even are to back me up on this one. I’m right, damnit!) then Carlisle is another gifted vampire Eleazar failed to detect.

So. We’ve established that Eleazar’s gift will yield false negatives, and that he can’t tell you much about the gifts he does detect.

I think his power is to point out the obvious.

Which means that Aro’s eyelid was twitching slightly, but alright, Eleazar could still be useful.

Unfortunately, there is the matter of weighing up your pros with your cons.

The Volturi are, at the end of the day, a group of people who live in a commune together. Coven, guard, evil minions, call them what we like but they’re exposed to each other and some sense of agreeability is required. And Chelsea is not omnipotent.

More, I imagine that in a coven as large and old as the Volturi, they’ve developed a culture of their own. This means that newcomers will need social awareness and a willingness to fit in.

Eleazar, from what we see of him in Breaking Dawn, appears to lack both.

It’s in the way he speaks of the people he used to work with. It’s utterly impersonal. He tells us how their gifts work, no more and no less. When he speaks of Aro, he speaks only of actions Aro took and orders he gave, nothing about the man’s personality. Now, considering the context, he was speaking in a context where Jane’s thoughts and feelings were far from relevant, but it’s still notable.

Also notable is the fact that he has no issue contemplating a Renata vs. Bella scenario, even though this would mean the deaths of two people he worked with for years. Perhaps it’s a thought exercise, but it’s not a thought exercise I would have gotten into when it was days away from becoming reality. If Renata can’t deflect Bella’s power, she and Aro die.

I’ll put it this way - I don’t think he’d do a «who would win» like this involving Carmen.

At no point in the book does Eleazar show any concern for the eventuality that members of a guard he used to be a part of may get killed.

It seems he didn’t form personal relationships with the rest of the guard. I suspect he considered himself... if not quite above them, then still someone who could evaluate them. Their gifts is what he looked at in them. I also think it’s likely he asked Aro not to use Chelsea on him, which in turn would have made him stick out even more as there’s nothing making him and Volturi Guard Member X just click in the way I imagine Chelsea can be very helpful with. Which in turn means that the other guard members will feel close to one another in a way they’re not close to Eleazar.

Also… he’s just a douche. I’m sorry, but I don’t make the rules and the whole guy radiates douche. I can’t even point to a specific quote in the book, it’s just is.

I don’t think this guy never really fit into the Volturi guard, and his gift wasn’t useful enough to keep him. Aro was thrilled to have him at first, but as time went on and Eleazar proved to just not be all that, he eventually realized he had to get rid of him.

Because as others have pointed out before me, the Carmen excuse makes no sense. There would be no problem in one more vampire in the castle, yet Aro wouldn’t let her in and Eleazar had to choose.

It was a solution that sent Eleazar on his way with his ego intact, and no hard feelings towards the Volturi. More, Aro is on record doing this with it’s-not-you thing with at least one other vampire. Laurent wanted to join the Volturi, had nothing to bring to the table, and Aro used past association with the Romanians as an excuse for why Laurent couldn’t join rather than tell him to his face that he was useless. With Marcus, Aro, and Chelsea around, the Romanian connection isn’t a problem, meaning Aro was bullshitting.

TL;DR: Aro is the kind of person who’d lie and say his grandma died if he doesn’t want to go to your party, and Eleazar is the kind of person who’d say «My condolences».

[theworldbrewery]

3 NPC Models and How to Use Them

Many people have observed the differences between Actual Play DMs’ play-styles, and while there is endless room for variance here, we’re going to talk about the 3 main models of NPC use, and we’re going to do that by talking about attitudes. [full disclosure: this post was inspired by this post about NPCs and DMing in Critical Role, if you’re interested!]

In D&D 5e, there’s a concept that in an ordinary social encounter, PCs who want things from NPCs will try to convince them of their lies or get them to do something. To run these encounters, the DMG has provided a basic system to help DMs figure out how NPCs will react. Friendly NPCs will usually do what’s asked of them (the DC is fairly low), while Hostile NPCs take more effort to convince and Indifferent NPCs are somewhere in the middle--they’ll accept a request provided there’s no risk involved, for instance.

But this model of NPC interaction goes astray when your PCs have more complicated relationships with the NPCs. It’s easy enough to apply this system to an innkeeper or an old man whose goats you just killed. When you are engaging with, say, a Rival you met a few levels ago, that system starts to get confusing. The Rival isn’t indifferent, but they’re not exactly hostile, either. And what about when an NPC has a specific goal in mind?

All this gets complicated quickly, so we’re going to sort it out with 3 models of NPC use.

FIRST: The “NPC Typecast” Model. In this model, NPCs fall into certain typecast roles. Any friendly NPC will defer to the party’s desires and plans. They aren’t coming up with ideas of their own. An indifferent NPC is usually interacting with the party in a mercenary fashion--there’s an exchange necessary to get what you want (such as a shopkeeper or a spy who might turn on her employer). And a hostile NPC is usually a villainous character, with goals that work directly against the party’s goals. Rare is the occasion that they will work alongside the party--and if they do, expect them to be plotting a double-cross. This system is ideal for a straightforward campaign where most threats are External or Epic in nature, or where the lines of Good and Evil are pretty clear. Usually, the party will be Good-Aligned overall, and the friendly/indifferent/hostile dynamic corresponds to good/neutral/evil. This model is great for letting the party have agency--these NPCs are pretty much never going to tell the party what to do or have a secret agenda, unless they’re Evil. For an example of this, look at Critical Role, where DM Matt Mercer’s friendly NPCs tend to defer to the party members and typically have no interpersonal conflicts even as hostile NPCs might feign friendship to get what they want.

SECOND: The “NPCs Have Agendas” Model. When you’re running a campaign that is more roleplay-dependent, such as a mystery or political intrigue game, you’ll quickly find that the NPC Typecast model doesn’t meet your needs--it’s simple, but you are running a complicated game, and that calls for complicated NPCs. In these types of games, NPCs are going to have agendas that don’t align with the party. That doesn’t meant they aren’t friendly; it just means the NPCs have their own goals in mind. Under this model, friendly NPCs are more likely to compromise their own goals to help the party, while indifferent NPCs prefer a quid pro quo--if they help you, you must help them. Hostile NPCs, then, need more leverage or convincing--for example, you might need to blackmail them to get the job done. This is the type of campaign I run. Now, not all my NPCs are super complex, but the important ones usually have goals and ideas that don’t revolve around the party. The more morally complicated your campaign is, the more likely you’ll fall into this model: Because each NPC has personal wants and fears, it’s easier to portray them as fallible, as vulnerable to temptations and flexible with their morals.

THIRD: The “NPCs Are People Too” Model. In this system, NPCs act like, well, like people. They also have goals, wants, fears, etc., but the key difference is that in this model, the campaign itself tends to be extremely roleplay-heavy, if not entirely roleplay. There’s conflict, but it’s mainly interpersonal or inter-factional. NPCs each have feelings and reasons behind why they do what they do, and in this model, a savvy PC can capitalize on that and befriend someone who might have started out hostile. You might still use Good and Evil as factors, but in such a model, they’re mostly names for sides and priorities, not the definitive alignment system that’s often assumed in D&D. These campaigns sometimes even push into slice-of-life, but not always--they might be better described as Pacifist Campaigns. This model, in essence, assumes that most creatures that understand language can be reasoned with--and most of the time, the players will choose that route.

While none of these are bad models to use, issues can arise if there is a mismatch between what the DM is running and what the players want to see. If the players want to be in the third model, and the DM is going for the first, either the DM will be annoyed that no one is fighting the monsters or the party will become frustrated that every encounter ends in a fight. In fact, specific players who gravitate to a particular model of NPC might not enjoy the game as much if the rest of the group prefers a different version.

Issues can especially arise if, as a group, you have decided to play a game with a particular approach to morality. If everyone is strictly Good-aligned, having a series of complex moral encounters with NPCs that have agendas can leave the party feeling impotent. They can’t trust anyone, and difficult moral choices are just not what the group is looking for from this game. In the opposite direction, say you are running a morally complex campaign but your friendly NPCs are not as morally complex as your hostile ones. You might be hoping to avoid railroading by having NPCs making the decision, but if your NPCs are too forgiving of a morally gray party and don’t have personal wants, it will start to fray the suspension of disbelief--your friendly NPCs won’t feel as real and developed in comparison to your hostile ones, and the end result may be that your players don’t want to interact with their own allies. Players can sense an underdeveloped NPC as much as they can an overdeveloped one--and they tend to gravitate toward developed NPCs because that’s where interesting encounters tend to happen.

Of course, you might find you’re using a blend of different approaches in your own game, or even moving from one model to another depending on the current arc. In my own game, I usually use a blend of model 1 and 2. Because we’re in a strongly roleplay-focused arc with very complex characters, I’ve shifted to do mostly model 2 with some model 3 qualities! That’s perfectly fine, and as long as it doesn’t force NPCs to act inconsistently, using different models in the same game isn’t a problem either.

[raeynbowboi]

How to Play as Link in DnD 5e (2.0)

With the release of both Mythic Odysseys of Theros and now the new big expansion in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything, I figured now would be a good time to reexamine Link with the context of new subclasses, class features, and game mechanics that weren’t around the last time that I built him. While I won’t do this for every character I’ve built before, characters who have new options made available with these updates will get a new rebuild for 2021. If you want to compare and contrast this build to the original, I will link that build right [here].

The Spirit of the Hero

Link’s a Hylian and that’s just a fancy way of saying elf. His best racial options are either the High Elf, the Wood Elf, or the Half-Elf. Half-elf’s extra skills are tempting, but as Link is never given any parents or an ancestral family tree, we can’t really justify him as a half-elf. We’ll call him a Wood Elf for the extra +2 to his Dexterity and the +1 to his Wisdom as well as that woodsy vibe. But if you wanna go for a Half-Elf for the power build, I won’t tell anyone.

Link’s alignment is tricky. On the one hand, he is shown kneeling before the monarchy, defeating the forces of evil and darkness, and doing odd jobs to help the common people he comes across. However, he can also start forest fires, break into people’s houses, smash pots, steal people’s life savings or personal belongings, and attack the chicken population until they attack back. I’d wager he’s Neutral Good if for no other reason than his morality is highly dependent on the player.

My first choice for Link’s background would be the Folk Hero for Animal Handling and Survival. However, Link’s background is so inconsistent, it’s easier to just list out the skills he tends to have and tell you to pick a background that has those skills, or create your own: Animal Handling, Athletics, Investigation, Nature, Perception, or Survival. There’s a case to be made for other skills as well. Acrobatics works a little and his jumps did involve sick flips in Majora’s Mask, but Link doesn’t tend to balance or platform jump very often. Link can play instruments fine and danced in the Subrosian Dance Hall in Oracle of Seasons for Performance proficiency, but he’s usually playing instruments to activate effects, not to actually perform for a crowd. Link shows some Stealth skills in Breath of the Wild, but this hasn’t been a longstanding skill of his, so I didn’t lump it in with his main skill list.

Becoming a Hero

When it comes to his build, Link has made some use of spells in the past, but he’s nowhere near the spellcaster that Zelda and Ganondorf are. Link is definitely more of a martial fighter who augments himself with a wide arsenal of magical items. So when it comes to picking Link’s class, we have a few things to keep in mind.

BARD

Link is a talented young man, and he has had magical instruments in a few games over the years, as well as dancing in Subrosia, among other things. While I don’t subscribe to the idea of Link being a bard myself, I understand why people would come to this conclusion, as Link isn’t really bad at anything... except talking. And lying. And looking threatening. Or haggling. Yeah kind of hard to depict Link as a CHA caster who isn’t proficient in any CHA skill checks. 

Spirits (UA) This doesn’t fit for every Link, but especially for Breath of the Wild where Link gets help from the spirits of his fallen comrades, the flavor of calling on the dead works for Link. For a non-BotW example, maybe Link can tell stories of his past lives, and the memories he shares with each of them.

Valor This college has the downside of being built as a cheerleader, while Link really should be built for solo-combat since that’s how he approaches most fights. But Valor is better than Swords and also gives Link proficiency with martial weapons and shields, while Swords does not.

FIGHTER

While there are many martial classes, the Fighter differentiates itself by being the most down-to-earth option. It’s not beholden to rage, or smites, hunting, or sneaking. It is the simple skill of the blade, and this is a skill Link has in spades. From the earliest games, Link has been a master of the sword, the shield, and the bow.

Battle Master Link is a strategic fighter. He looks for weak spots, and he exploits them the best he can. Of all the fighter subclasses, none is more clever than the Battle Master. Its many maneuvers resembles the numerous sword techniques Link has learned especially in the later games. Even in Smash, Link showcases how clever he is by being able to combine his arrows with his bombs and shoot a bomb arrow. To my knowledge, none of the other characters can combine their abilities like this in Smash.

Cavalier The subclass is poorly named, and was better in its initial name as the Knight, as that is really what this subclass is. It is the idea of the knight in shining armor. They can also be flavored as bodyguards, a traveling sellsword, or castle guards. So Link does not have to be glued to Epona to make use of this subclass. The main reason to want this subclass is the Warding Maneuver, as giving Link the chance to either block or reduce all damage he takes is going to seriously improve how well he can tank a hit, and help keep him in a fight longer.

PALADIN

More than any other class, the Paladin actually stands for something. They fight for a value or a belief. They swear their life to a cause and are prepared to die fighting for it. Link works on a lore level as a Paladin. Especially when he’s dedicated multiple lifetimes to the same cause. Across every timeline and game over screen, Link has always returned and stood in defiance against whatever evil may come. 

Ancients This oath makes Link sworn to the forces of nature, such as the Great Fairy, and protecting the balance and harmony of the light, life, and love against death, decay, and darkness. The Ancients Paladin is all about protecting the balance in the world and valiantly opposing evil wherever it might arise. It also has a druidic or fey aspect, which kind of works for Link.

Crown With this vow, Link serves the Hyrulian Royal Family. This makes Link the princess’ personal knight, and an agent of lawfulness, order, and peacekeeping in the land. While 5e has backed away from typecasting Paladins as Lawful Good, this is probably the most Lawful subclass one could pick, as it places the authority of the royal family above all else.

Glory Instead of being sworn to the light or the law, the Glory Paladin is the harbinger of the goddesses. They are flavored as legendary heroes of destiny, possibly being demigods or the personal errand boys of the setting’s pantheon. This subclass is clearly focused on being a frontline warrior, and the features make Link a true force on the battlefield.

RANGER

Anyone who’s played Legend of Zelda knows that Link is very good at surviving. The games don’t tell you how to navigate the wilderness, Link just has to figure it out for himself. What’s more, Link may be willing to venture into the wilderness, but he’ll be hard-pressed to find many NPCs that far outside of settlements or cities. Yet what they fear, he thrives in. And it’s no wonder that this is the class most peole would assume for Link.

Hunter This conclave is the slayer of all things that threaten civilization. They can choose to be better at chipping away at one enemy, counter attack bigger monsters, or mow through hordes of minions with more ease by taking out multiple at a time. Especially at higher levels, this conclave excels at ripping apart Ganon’s forces with nary a golden curl out of place.

ROGUE

The rogue doesn’t need to be a wanted criminal on the lamb. They can be a clever fighter with a variety of skills and a knack for evasion. That speaks a lot more to Link’s skill set than one might assume at first glance. It’s not a perfect fit for Link, but it’s really not that inaccurate either.

Inquisitive This roguish archetype is defined by being clever in combat, looking for weak points to exploit. They’re also much more observant, making them better at discovering clues or secret passages, or telling when they’re being misled. At higher levels, their ability to look for weaknesses can even increase their sneak attack damage. This especially fits some of the older games where boss fights were focused on using items to exploit the dungeon boss’ weaknesses, rather than hacking away at their health bar. In these older titles, Link was less of a straight up warrior and more of a clever trickster pulling off strategic victories.

Scout The Scout Rogue has heavy Ranger vibes, as they get free expertise in Nature and Survival, enhanced mobility, the ability to disengage from fights more easily, and at higher levels become masters of ambushes. This fits well with Link’s sneakier sniper playstyle that can be done in Breath of the Wild, as Link can take out entire camps without ever being seen.

Thief While Link is not a standard cutpurse, Link is a treasure hunter, a dungeon delver, and the jokes about him robbing the people of Hyrule and breaking into people’s homes doesn’t exactly help. The thief also gets to use more magical items, allowing Link to use things such as enchanted instruments without being a bard.

WARLOCK

Link usually isn’t the hero of his own volition. He often starts his journey with Triforce of Courage, a source of power gifted by his patrons. It’s honestly a weak connection, but it loosely works, so I’m including it. 

Celestial While this subclass is geared toward serving something other than a god, I don’t see any reason why a Celestial Warlock couldn’t serve the Triple Goddesses of Hyrule or even Hylia/Zelda directly.

Hexblade The most obviously martial warlock option, this is a good choice if you want to incorporate Fi into your character.

Link’s Toy Chest

Hero’s Sword - Longsword (+1-3) Mirror Shield - Repulsion Shield Hero’s Bow - Oathbow Gale Boomerang - Storm Boomerang Fire Rod - Wand of Fireballs (requires spellcasting) Mastersword - Sword of Zariel, Holy Avenger Longsword* Hylian Shield - Shield of the Hidden Lord  Goddess Bow - Ephixis, Bow of Nylea Golden Gauntlets - Gauntlets of Ogre Power Zora Tunic - Cloak of the Manta Ray Pegasus Boots - Boots of Speed Hover Boots - Boots of Levitation Hook Shot - Rope of Climbing

SIDEKICKS

Sidekicks are a new edition from Tasha’s that let Link bring allies on his hero’s journey. Experts are skill monkeys who focus on Help actions, Spellcasters dip into the INT, WIS, or CHA spell lists, and Warriors are trained to fight and don’t have to talk, so they can be animals.

Epona - Defender Warrior Riding Horse Navi - Expert or Healer Spellcaster Sprite Sidon - Attacker Warrior Merfolk Sheik - Expert Noble (Elf) Wolf Link - Attacker Warrior Wolf

Theros Piety

The Piety System from Theros lets us be devout to a god and earn features from worshiping them. As far as I’m aware, this is an optional feature, and not every DM will make use of these, but if you’re able to, here’s a handy guide. These gods really stood out as the clear choices for Link to go with.

Iroas - God of Victory

Domains: War Virtues: Achieve a great victory, Overcome slim odds honorably, Defeat a foe in single combat, Perform a great feat of strength or skill Sins: Being a coward in battle, Beat an honorable foe through deceit, harm innocents Piety Bonus: +3 Learn Compelled Duel spell +10 Learn Crusader’s Mantle spell +25 For 1 minute, creatures cannot gain advantage on you +50 Increase STR or CHA by 2 to a max of 22

Keranos - God of Storms

Domains: Knowledge, Tempest Virtues: Solve a riddle or puzzle, defeat an unwise enemy, plan ahead for an upcoming challenge, build or restore a temple to Keranos Sins: Jeopardize others through foolishness, ignore a wise course of action, fail to plan for a challenge, give in to anger or self-destruction

Piety Bonus: +3 Add 1d6 lightning damage to melee attack up to INT mod turns. +10 Reroll a failed INT or WIS saving throw +25 Advantage on Initiative rolls +50 Increase INT or WIS by 2 to a max of 22

Nylea - Goddess of the Wild

Domains: Nature Virtues: Help any wild animal, stop those who hunt for sport or profit, win an archery competition, slay an aberration, fiend, or undead Sins: Kill an animal without reason, Dedicate a building to or make a sacrifice for any god (including Nylea), protect a city from a natural disaster

Piety Bonus: +3 Learn Hunter’s Mark +10 Learn Speak with Animals +25 Attacking creatures must pass DC 15 WIS save or change targets. +50 Increase DEX or WIS by 2 to a max of 22

Cunning Tactician

Battle Master Fighter (12) Inquisitive Rogue (8) Fighting Style: Dueling Maneuvers: Brace, Disarming Strike, Feinting Attack, Parry, Precision Attack, Riposte, Sweeping Attack Tools: Thieves’ Tools, Mason’s Tools

While Link is brave and strong, he is most defined by his clever mind and unorthodox solutions to boss fights. With this class split, Link has prioritized strategy and tactics over everything else. While it leaves him a little squishier, Link is still a very capable warrior. As a Battle Master, he got a free tool proficiency. Mason’s Tools allows Link to find secret passageways in stone walls, which most dungeons tend to be made of. On top of that, with his Feinting Attack, Link can give himself advantage, meaning he can use Sneak Attack even in a 1v1 fight, which fits his solo adventurer playstyle.

One-Man Army

Battle Master Fighter (12) Hunter Ranger (8) Fighting Style: Dueling, Archery Maneuvers: Brace, Disarming Strike, Feinting Attack, Parry, Precision Attack, Riposte, Sweeping Attack Hunter’s Prey: Colossus Slayer, Multiattack Defense Tools: Mason’s Tools

I used this build once in a level 10 campaign. 6 levels of Fighter, 4 levels of Ranger with a +2 Longsword, and let me tell you something. This build creamed the competition, which was the other PCs at the table, who were also built as level 10 characters. Link nearly defeated his first opponent in a single round, dealing around 70 damage between his four attacks. When I say this is Link’s “power” build, I mean it. I didn’t even sweat when an adult blue dragon showed up after the tournament ended, that’s how much faith I had in Link’s ability to fight. I honestly forgot to even use Link’s battle maneuvers, he was just dealing so much damage that it slipped my mind. You could swap Battle Master for Cavalier, but for me, the Battle Master is more accurate to Link’s favor of techniques over basic hack-and-slash.

RANGER SPELLS

1 Absorb Elements, Ensnaring Strike, Hunter’s Mark 2 Cordon of Arrows, Healing Spirit

The Hero of Hyrule

Battle Master Fighter (12) Glory Paladin (8) Fighting Style: Archery, Dueling Maneuvers: Brace, Disarming Strike, Feinting Attack, Parry, Precision Attack, Riposte, Sweeping Attack Tools: Mason’s Tools

As a Glory Paladin, Link is driven by a desire to be a legendary hero, and at least in the UA version, the Glory Paladin served the gods, as Link does. Like the two builds above, Link balances the brute might of the Glory Paladin with the tactile diversity of the Battle Master.

PALADIN SPELLS

1 Cure Wounds, Divine Favor, Guiding Bolt, Heroism, Protection from Evil and Good, Searing Smite, Thunderous Smite, Wrathful Smite 2 Branding Smite, Enhance Ability, Find Steed, Magic Weapon, Warding Bond

Oaths and Promises

Glory Paladin (12) Celestial Warlock (8) Fighting Style: Dueling Pact: Blade Invocations: Eldritch Smite, Improved Pact Weapon, Maddening Hex, Relentless Hex

The builds from here on are more for the flavor than necessarily Link’s character. As a Blade Pact Paladock, Link becomes a CHA-focused martial with some extra spell slots that turn his smiting sword strikes into a bokoblin slurry machine. This build focuses Link more as a servant of the gods than anything else. Just make sure he has the Hex spell, but you can replace Maddening Hex with Agonizing Blast if you want to use the Master Sword laser beam at full potential.

PALADIN SPELLS

1 Divine Favor, Guiding Bolt, Heroism, Protection from Evil and Good, Searing Smite, Thunderous Smite, Wrathful Smite 2 Branding Smite, Enhance Ability, Find Steed, Magic Weapon, Warding Bond 3 Blinding Smite, Crusader’s Mantle, Elemental Weapon, Haste, Protection from Energy

WARLOCK SPELLS

C Blade Ward, Booming Blade, Sword Burst 1 Armor of Agathys, Cure Wounds, Hex 2 Lesser Restoration, Misty Step, Shatter 3 Spirit Shroud, Summon Fey 4 Galder’s Speedy Courier

To Serve and Protect

Battle Master Fighter (12) Crown Paladin (8) Fighting Style: Dueling, Interception Maneuvers:  Bait and Switch, Brace, Disarming Strike, Goading Strike, Parry, Riposte, Sweeping Attack Tools: Mason’s Tools

Link is Zelda’s knight, bodyguard, and servant. So this build prioritizes features that makes Link the loyal emissary of the Princess of Hyrule. As such, this build changes Link’s role to be more of a defender to the princess than a solo hero. This build assumes that the princess or someone else who needs to be protected is joining Link on his adventure.

PALADIN SPELLS

1 Command, Cure Wounds, Divine Favor, Heroism, Compelled Duel, Searing Smite, Thunderous Smite, Wrathful Smite 2 Branding Smite, Find Steed, Warding Bond, Zone of Truth

After all is said and done, I hope I gave everyone a lot to work with. Of course my suggestions are not law, and if nothing else, I hope it gives you an idea of how you want to build him. Last time I built Link, I gave one set build for him, but I still laid out other options. Recently though, I’ve been trying to show multiple builds at the end of my build posts to offer a wider idea of what building a character can look like. Happy 2021 everyone, and let’s hope this year goes smoother.

[ectogeo-art]

omg i want to hear about romulan embassy siskarak

WIP ask meme

Omg, yes, thank you for asking, I’m so excited about this one!!!! :D The fic idea appeared to me fully formed as soon as I saw this post by @the-last-dillards about how in a scene cut from “The Wire”, Sisko mentions that he and Curzon were at an embassy on Romulus when Sisko was about Julian's age, and dillards speculated that it would be funny if Sisko and Curzon happened to be there at the same time as Garak was on Romulus posing as a gardener. Most everyone else who saw that post was like "lmao Curzon/Garak <3" and while that is extremely funny too, the Sisko/Garak implications are soooo much more interesting to me personally.

I think Sisko would be an interesting parallel-but-not-quite to Julian. I feel like young Sisko would be similarly bright and passionate and idealistic, which we KNOW is a type Garak is attracted to, but unlike Julian, Sisko would NOT put up with Garak’s bullshit mindgames, he would NOT find Garak inherently charming.

And then there’s Garak, still young, on top of his game, feeling confident and powerful and indestructible (but ultimately just Tain’s pawn... he’s been indoctrinated to love Cardassia unconditionally and hasn’t really had that challenged in any way yet).

They would both find each other extremely grating. Sisko embodies everything Garak hates about the Federation, so Garak would want to take him down a peg, make him sink to Garak’s level. Sisko would be infuriated by Garak’s duplicitous and condescending nature, but maybe Garak also keeps saying things that are juuuust provocative enough that Sisko can’t seem to help arguing back against his points (and Sisko really doesn’t get how that’s somehow turning both of them on...).

So that’s the gist why I’m obsessed with the potential for this pairing during pre-canon in general. Now onto the fic itself! Juuuust in case I never get around to actually writing this, here’s my detailed plan for the romulan embassy siskarak fic:

Sisko and Curzon are on assignment at the Federation embassy on Romulus. The Federation embassy is holding an open house next week. Sisko offers to help cook the food for the event, because he has an idea to incorporate ingredients from other cultures into his jambalaya recipe to Symbolize how cultural exchange can lead to amazing new technological advances and/or art and/or political alliances (or idk, whatever overwrought metaphor an excited young Sisko decides is galaxy brain levels of diplomacy). Curzon's just like “hell yeah, sounds great, kid! go for it!”

So Ensign Sisko (or whatever his rank is at that point idk) asks around at the other embassies nearby for ingredients native to their homeworlds. They give him some recommendations, but he’d have to replicate or import the ingredients. But then he gets to the Cardassian embassy and they have this beeeeautiful garden, overflowing with native Cardassian produce. Sisko asks the gardener there (Garak) if he can possibly use some of the vegetables for his jambalaya of interplanetary diplomacy.

Garak is instantly annoyed by how performative and insipid Sisko’s project is... but Garak knows he has to play nice and hand over the vegetables. He also knows how much he doesn't want sisko rendering these vegetables he's been diligently tending into tasteless inedible garbage that an unrefined Federation or Romulan palate couldn’t possibly even appreciate... So he smiles politely, and offers to show him the proper way to cook it. Tonight. In Sisko’s quarters.

Garak internally justifies this unnecessary dinner date by deciding that it will be a good opportunity to scope out the inside of the Federation embassy. And so what if he’s also getting a little riled up thinking about all the delicious arguments he might have with this headstrong and attractive Starfleet officer? So what if he kind of wants to figure out what he has to say in order break Sisko’s composure? What he can say that would make Sisko, despite his self-satisfied demeanor of peace and acceptance and understanding, angrily slam Garak into the wall hard enough to trigger the pleasurable rush of the implant...?

Meanwhile back in sisko POV... Sisko gladly accepts, actually quite eager to learn more about cooking, and a little curious about this strange Cardassian gardener who seems a little bit interested in him. (He’s not annoyed by Garak yet, because all he’s seen is his mask, his poker face.) Curzon’s taught Sisko everything about diplomacy and how to be a Starfleet officer and how to be a person, and sisko looks up to him in a bit of an unhealthy way. Sisko knows that the easiest way to impress Curzon is to score with an alien. Sisko’s maybe a little curious to see if that’s what Garak is interested in, so that Sisko will have something to brag about with Curzon.

[sidenote: idk where Jennifer is in this timeline (but also the canon timeline of when Curzon and Sisko were off on adventures that included banging twin alien chicks and getting falling-down-drunk together seems inconsistent with the canon timeline of when Sisko and Jennifer met lolll)... anyway, maybe bennifer are on a break bc of the long-distance while he’s on Romulus, and/or bc she maybe doesn’t particularly like the influence Curzon has had on him and they very recently got in a fight about it.]

Okay, so now it’s that night in Sisko’s quarters. For now let’s just gloss right over the (presumably horny as hell) scene about the chopping and stewing and seasoning of the vegetables—during which the arguments (and resulting tensions) between them build and build, from little things like vegetable chopping techniques to the fundamental paradigms of their worldviews and senses of morality—and let’s fast forward directly into the middle of their fight about whether the federation sucks more than the cardassian empire: Garak out of nowhere just starts undoing his shirt while saying something inflammatory questioning the federation’s true commitment to cultural exchange... Garak basically implies that Sisko is a hypocrite who has been arguing for ideals he doesn’t believe in if he doesn’t want to bang Garak RIGHT NOW...

And then they bang, And it’s a mess, and they HATE each other, and it’s really hot. Or at least, that’s the idea. ( @delicatetrashstranger volunteered to help write the E-rated part, for which I am very grateful, lol.) In the end, the weird space jambalaya burns while they are going at it, and everything is ruined and smells terrible, and Sisko doesn’t even WANT to brag about this one to Curzon, because he is not proud of how he let Garak get under his skin. Garak maybe experiences A Consequence of some kind that makes him realize he can’t recklessly throw himself at Federation hotties (like... maybe something Sisko says makes him question a Truth he was certain of, or maybe this fling has jeopardized his assassination plans somehow, or maybe there is a close call where he almost reveals something personal about himself, or almost accidentally leaves behind his underwear, which is where he keeps some of his sci fi Spy Gadgets, lol idk).

The end!

Hope you’ve enjoyed this summary of my fic... I hope I actually write it one day XD (If anyone feels inspired by any aspect of this and wants to run with it, PLEASE DO! Also, if, like me, you desperately Need this fic to exist, feel free to let me know that you’re excited about it! My brain is all garashir all the time, so any WIP that’s not garashir sometimes needs to be helped along by external motivation lol.)

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

thanks for all your twc rants (unironically) because you've put into words a lot of problems i've had with the writing of the series that i couldn't pinpoint before. i agree that post book 1 it's become far more repetitive and fanfic-y, especially with the found family stuff. like how many more times can N tell MC "you're one of us now" before i completely lose my mind lmao

Honestly, go off.

Actually, no, I will go off.

Like, the most egregious example of this is in the book 3 demo where N and F just sit under a tree discussing how much the detective means to them all and how much of a family they are.

These are four grown-ass people who have worked together for years, but now when this rando shows up and gets the hots for one of them, suddenly they're a Family? Who talks like this lol. Especially to one's coworkers/"family"? If they’ve only been coworkers until now, where is this emotional honesty coming from and why is it written like it’s a given? If they’ve been family until now, why does the detective’s arrival change everything so drastically (it doesn’t, but that’s what the narrative wants us to believe)? It doesn’t help that the relationships between the vamps are so poorly established and don’t go beyond the initial tropes. N and A are the “parents” cuz omg they keep rolling their eyes and being angwy with M and F, who are the horny teenager and the baby respectively! Tee hee! Forget that they’re all adults with actual fucking jobs. It’s just inconsistent is what it is. They act like a stereotypical “family” in the tungle dot cum “mom friend” “dad friend” way, but they’re NOT family until the detective shows up, but they don’t ACT like coworkers before the detective shows up, but they’re family NOW, except they don’t share anything personal or emotional at all the way a family should so ????? Which is it????? Henlo????

Obviously the found family trope is where the narrative was headed from the beginning and I wouldn't have minded it if it were done well, but it seems that because everyone and their grandma kept going "omg this is SUCH found family vibes," either the author was caught up in her own hype and went "omg it really is! vibes!" or felt forced to play up the whole thing for the sake of the fanservice, going so far as to make the characters themselves spell it out for maximum squee.

Like, I played my detective as being a loner with abandonment issues, so the whole "uwu we're a big happy family now after a few months" just felt completely inaccurate to how my detective acted around UB in general? Which was mostly dismissive and “I’m gonna do this alone so y’all can leave.” And don’t say some shit about how that’s my choice or whatever, cuz yes, it is, but don’t give me the choice if you won’t honor it. Just make a game where everything is flawless and perfect and everyone loves each other instantly if that’s where you want it to go. Because of the fandom hype and/or the author’s own bias, the narrative will always favor no-conflict relationships over anything more negative or complex, while giving you the illusion of choice that your character can be anything but what’s already been decided. And for a game that prides itself on OMG SO MANY CHOICES, you really can’t affect how other characters feel about you or how you relate to them at all.

And there's the N scenes where s/he goes on about how the detective is such a vital part of the team that keeps them all sane and like? How have y'all been the SECOND BEST team in this branch of the agency while apparently not being in sync with each other up until now? (Also, alone, away from the world? Aren’t y’all working for an all-powerful organization as one of their top teams? What the fuck?)

Look at the “options”. My detective, who, again, is a loner with no time for sentimentality, would just stare at him blankly or be dismissive/make fun of him. How could you not, when a grown-ass man says this shit straight to your entire face? But no, you can either 1) uwu soft bean 2) uwu soft bean 3) teehee jokester 4) uwu humblebrag 5) uwu soft bean 6) teehee jokester and finally, 7) thanks.

You literally can’t reject this. You WILL be assimilated into the found family. Apparently to the author, found family means “we found you and will force you to stick with us whether you like it or not.”

And I get that this is where the narrative is going, but, again, this is book 3 out of 7, we still don’t know any of the characters’ backstories because uwu spoilers, we’re not allowed to be emotionally close to any of them becuase uwu spoilers, but we ARE guilted into being nice to our shitty mom, and we ARE forced to accept the uwu found family shit even though, potentially, none of the members of said found family fucking talk to each other about any of their emotions, and they for sure don’t fucking talk to US about them either. Isn’t it funny how M can’t figure out what’s going on in their own head? Watch N and A and even F do nothing to help them out because funny and “slow burn”! It’s just such family! Let’s make fun of A for being demisexual and not wanting to bone down! Such family!

A+++++ writing fellas. This is the most popular IF around.

*deep breath*

Anyway.

[shihalyfie]

"Canon” and “not canon” in the Adventure/02 universe

This is something I want to talk about, because it has a certain degree of relevance to the question of what I choose to take into account in my analyses and what I don’t. I write a lot about Adventure and 02 because both series are ridiculously consistent over their 104-episode runtime, but there are times when things contradict or don’t quite track together, and I have to figure out how to best rationalize them -- which means I need to make arbitrary decisions on what to count and not count, and when one does make those kinds of decisions, you’re very liable to get the complaint: “but that’s not canon!”

Which always makes me think: who decided that? And in the end, this is something that I think extends beyond just Digimon; every fanbase for everything always wants to believe there’s a clear-cut answer to things that everyone’s supposed to follow in a canonical timeline, and things that fall outside it. And sometimes, for some franchises, that is doable, because official staff will actually say outright that “this counts, and this doesn’t.” But that’s not how Toei and Bandai work, and their modus operandi has always been to toss a bunch of often-contradictory stuff at everyone and go “figure it out yourself,” and I think at some point the fanbase really needs to acknowledge that this so-called clear-cut boundary of “canon” and “not canon” doesn’t actually exist at all. Or in other words, any assertion of something being “canon” or “not canon” in the Adventure and 02 universe is purely something arbitrarily defined by fans, and was never determined by official - which, conversely, has actually encouraged you to take as much as you want and figure out the rest yourself.

Before we begin, I do want to make clear that this is not about one’s personal canon based on one’s own preferences -- that is to say, if you’re going “I don’t consider this canon because I don’t like this/don’t want to work with this,” then that’s entirely your right, especially if you’re doing creative work and need to decide what to apply and to not to apply. (Although, as always, one must be conscientious and respectful of those who do like it and consider it canon, because everyone’s going to differ on this.) What I am talking about is when people take a substantial part of the franchise that they otherwise like, such as a movie or drama CD, see one detail that’s contradictory in terms of the timeline or lore, and take that as evidence of “yep, the entire thing’s not canon. We’ll just throw the entire thing out, then.” It just makes me think -- you threw out a perfectly good work for that?! That’s such a waste!

First of all, Toei and Bandai don’t work that way

In general, a lot of the contradictions in the series have a “right hand is not talking to left hand” problem, because as much as we would like to believe that a Digimon series is written by a single consistent entity, the franchise itself is a huge trade-off between Toei and Bandai, and a lot of things from Bandai -- spinoffs, crossover material, games, what have you -- don’t exactly have a stellar track record of being vetted by Toei anime staff. It’s pretty well-known that game portrayals of certain characters can be really off or have misleading info, and even V-Tamer’s somewhat guilty of it. So this is going to happen no matter whether you like it or not, and it happens with any long-running kids’ series that involves a collaboration between multiple companies like this.

Moreover, the traditional custom for Toei “side movies” (in this case, meaning things like the original movie, Our War Game!, Hurricane Touchdown, and Diablomon Strikes Back) is that they’re produced with minimal involvement from the original series’s core staff -- at most, the producer is lightly involved -- and are sometimes even worked on simultaneously with the start of the original series, so you often end up with a movie that’s impossible to fit anywhere in the series timeline because there wasn’t any communication with the two sides. And for that, it’s all too easy to dismiss those movies as “non-canon”, with the fanbase arbitrarily deciding that canon ones are canon because they fit -- but Toei itself has never taken this stance.

The other thing is that, given that Adventure/02 is famous for its ridiculous level of worldbuilding consistency thanks to its director Kakudou’s conscientious efforts on it, it means that as a result, anything not made by him was prone to running afoul on it, and it’s not like the stance back then was to just reject all of it wholesale. “Doesn’t comply with the lore” is so often equated with “not canon”, but Kakudou, the author of that lore, not only made no indication of invalidating or disliking those non-compliant things, but also conversely made an active effort to make those things relevant in spite of that! (See: Our War Game! below.) The official stance is to not deny those works for being noncompliant -- it’s just that Kakudou seems to be the detail-oriented kind of person who personally prefers to work with things that have a high level of consistency (he’s very quick to say “I wasn’t involved on that” whenever someone brings up something from said external materials, not in any condescending way, just “I wasn’t involved, so don’t attribute that to me”). In fact, one of the reasons there wasn’t initially a third Adventure series was that he had difficulty finding a way to adhere to the higher-ups’ pressure to keep all of these contradictions consistent -- so the official stance itself is to try and maintain all of those side works, and that it would be better to end the series itself than to have to do something like deny them.

Which makes things very frustrating for the fans, of course, but nevertheless, that’s how it is -- even back in 2000, the right-hand-not-talking-to-left-hand phenomenon was this significant! And it would have been easy for official to step in and go “okay, we’ll put a statement out here that these don’t apply,” but no, the stance was be that it would be better to stop dragging it out longer and cancel a whole series than to deny those works, which leads us to the current situation. (Plus, think how insulting it would feel from a PR perspective if someone got attached to one of those “non-canon” materials only for official to come out and outright say “yeah this doesn’t count anymore”; we can name examples of this happening in other franchises that have understandably gotten a lot of people upset, and it would be especially offensive to do this right after said material had been released.)

Bolstering the concept of official staff’s very loose opinion of “canon” are the Adventure novels, which were supervised by Kakudou himself and written by Digimon episode screenwriter Masaki Hiro, and are non-compliant with Adventure timeline by design, because it’d be bad for the format to try and depict every single detail in the anime in the form of three novels. Several events are condensed or shuffled out of order, or even sometimes completely different (Koushirou’s incident with Vadermon goes very differently from the anime version). Despite that, this is said directly to be intended as a series of novels to help people understand Adventure and 02 better, and several details in Two-and-a-Half Year Break and Spring 2003 are incredibly consistent with it (namely in the sense of details meant to retroactively connect Adventure to 02, and other background details like Daisuke’s backstory). So you are supposed to do some kind of mental leap where you don’t take the contradictions around the actual events too seriously, but still accept the spirit and the background information you learn from it and retroactively apply it to Adventure and 02 -- and, presumably, that’s probably what you’re expected to do with everything else, too.

And this isn’t even getting into the fact that the anime itself has occasional contradictions and errors due to things like animator error or simply different writers writing different episodes -- the Adventure and 02 staff were certainly very detail-oriented, but they are human and of course inevitably slipped up here and there. How seriously do you take honorifics shifting from episode to episode in ways that don’t seem intentional, or the fact every background material refers to Osamu and Ken having a bunk bed and yet the actual episode with both of them fails to depict it? How do you deal with the fact that the Animation Chronicle is one of the most extensively useful post-02 reference materials with tons of production background info not revealed in the anime, and yet is infamously full of suspected typos that would cause some pretty massive implications if true, or all of those other Bandai and Shueisha-commissioned “side books” and other pieces of media meant to entertain the kids while the series was airing but clearly had no input from Toei staff whatsoever? 

In the end, frustrating as it is, the answer seems to be the same as ever: figure it out yourself.

The standards for what’s “canon” and “not canon” are way too arbitrary

Let’s look at a handful of things that have been historically dismissed as “non-canon” by the fanbase:

The Adventure mini dramas and Armor Evolution to the Unknown: Drama CDs that were generally dismissed as non-canon because they’re “too crack” to be canon (their writing style is of the “it’s okay to push the boundaries of characterization for the sake of comedy” sort, and it wouldn’t be until later when we finally got some more serious drama CDs). The latter is full of honorific inconsistencies, most prominently Daisuke and Ken still being on surname basis at a time they’re not supposed to be (due to the fact that it was released while the series was still being produced). But official word is that you’re still supposed to consider them canon -- and yes, that’s Kakudou himself giving official sanction to a drama CD that involved a massive amount of fourth wall breaking and a completely unexplained reunion between the Adventure kids and their Digimon sometime between 1999 and 2002 (apparently this wasn’t the only one, either). How is this supposed to work? Figure it out yourself.

Hurricane Touchdown: The funny part is that up until Kizuna validated Wallace’s existence, there was no actual consistent agreement on why this movie shouldn’t be canon (the Western side being “evolutionary form timeline violations”, the Japanese side being Wallace’s status as a Chosen Child prior to 1995), which really goes to show you how arbitrary all of this is. It also has a sequel drama CD in the form of The Door to Summer, which is also contradictory with Hurricane Touchdown’s ending, so we’ve got two layers of “it can’t be canon because...” -- and yet it has a lot of interesting Daisuke characterization, and, heck, the whole character of Wallace himself, that would all be rejected if you throw this out wholesale. Then Kizuna came along, and there’s a general sense of hesitation against easily denying officially-sanctioned “main” entries like that, which retroactively forced people to somehow skip past all that and accept it, just for the sake of Kizuna’s notability.

Diablomon Strikes Back: Similar to the above, it used to be constantly dismissed as “a non-canon fun movie” because of the evolutionary forms that appear in it, despite the fact that 02 itself established that it wasn’t that hard to restore evolutionary forms if you figured something out. Somehow, a ton of people treated it as such an impossibility that “they figured it out in the first three months of 2003″ would be a viable explanation, and yet official word is that of the second through fourth movies, this is the one that had the most amount of initial consultation with the TV anime staff! And then tri. and Kizuna came along and clearly had high-level evolutions in play too, and dismissing DSB on these grounds meant dismissing those by proxy, and a lot of people were too intimidated to do that and decided to retroactively validate DSB instead, after years of having dismissed it for this reason. Again: look how arbitrary this all is.

The tri. stage play: Mainly because its timeline of events doesn’t fit tri. at all (in regards to the reboot and part 5). This is a fair assessment to make in light of the fact that it doesn’t seem to work very hard to be compliant with the very series it’s branded with, but, funnily enough, it’s actually more lore-compliant with the original Adventure and 02 than the tri. anime series is, and yet the few minor contradictions it makes with the tri. anime series are sufficient to consider it completely kicked out of canon, yet those same people who declare it so aren’t as willing to hold the anime to that same standard just because it holds a more prominent “main” position.

On the other hand, let’s look at some of the things that have been more likely to be accepted than the above:

Our War Game!: Reading this is probably going to make everyone go “whaaaaaat?”, but yep: according to Kakudou, the second through fourth movies were all made without his supervision or involvement and thus have lore contradictions (although he also made sure to say that they’re very fine movies, too). We still haven’t figured out what the lore contradiction is, and so the fanbase considers it canon, and even 02 itself makes multiple references to “the Diablomon incident” in 2000, so you can’t consider this non-canon in the slightest...but yes, according to the official side, it’s actually got a contradictory incursion somewhere in there. There is one hypothesis as to what it is, and it’s such a minor thing that no fan or even official member of staff would dare deny the movie for it, but it still contributes to how arbitrary this entire concept is: Kakudou didn’t want to give anyone (except Miyako, who’s based off a real person) canonical birthdays or blood types for the sake of preventing horoscoping, but Sora’s birthday is portrayed as being around March in the movie. And yes, Kakudou himself refers to this as being something that only happened because he wasn’t involved. (Remember what I said about him historically being quick to disclaim involvement on anything he wasn’t involved on, regardless of how much of a minor detail it is, yet doesn’t necessarily intend to deny the work entirely due to it?)

Tag Tamers: A very vital part of Ken’s backstory that establishes a lot of context behind the Dark Seed and the elusive Akiyama Ryou, which also does not make sense with 02′s timeline and characterization at all, presumably because Bandai and Toei weren’t properly communicating on what kind of details they needed to iron out for this. But of course, all of us would like some explanation to Ken’s backstory, and we have to apply some kind of logic as to how that makes sense, and I’ve yet to see people declare Tag Tamers (or any of the other WonderSwan games) as entirely non-canon as a result.

tri.: For obvious reasons, it’s a “major entry in the franchise”, so people are generally more averse to dismissing it so easily (or, at least, for reasons that aren’t related to pure preference), but I find it rather ironic that Kizuna’s the one that got all the attention for apparently being lore non-compliant, when the exact same lore points mentioned in Kakudou’s reasoning as to why it’s non-compliant (along with a ton of things that actually were in Adventure and 02′s text) are gone against even more regularly and prominently in tri., whereas Kizuna still goes out of its way to adhere to most of these and only seems to have incurred a contradiction in terms of originally intended ideology, and, possibly, its extensive use of the aforementioned movies. (Recall that this got brought up for Kizuna specifically because Kakudou was initially consulted for it; he wasn’t involved in tri. to begin with at all.) See above on how people’s unwillingness to write this one off so easily despite everything ended up retroactively dragging DSB into “accepted canon” territory; that’s how arbitrary this entire thing is.

Then, tied to all of this and making it even more confusing is Kizuna, which, again, putting all issues of personal preference aside, is basically being torn back and forth between all of these whenever you try to apply one of the above arbitrary standards. It’s allegedly lore-noncompliant with Kakudou’s lore and thus lacks his involvement, but it does have the involvement of original series producer Seki Hiromi who was known to be responsible for the series’s original human drama themes (including the premise of 02 itself) and personally vetted the scripts so that everyone could be properly in-character and the original themes still intact; it’s supposedly a “main” entry to the point where people will stop denying older works’ canonicity because of it (see Hurricane Touchdown above), but, legally speaking, is actually classified in the same “gekijouban” category that the first four movies and things like the Tamers through Savers movies are; the staff will say to hell and back that the 02 epilogue still holds (and the movie makes abundant retroactive references in both worldbuilding and themes to it), but many people out there will still insist that the movie ending that way means that (like with DSB above) “they figured it out” between the movie’s ending and the epilogue is apparently some kind of impossibility, and either the movie is non-canon or the 02 epilogue is invalidated now. (My personal stance on this is that the epilogue itself provides the answer to how they figure it out if you look closely at the movie’s themes, but that’s a tangent.)

The point I’m trying to make is that regardless of whatever stance you take on all of the above points, this is all extremely arbitrary, and these fanbase rationalizations on why this and that isn’t canon are constantly contradicting each other, shifting, and occasionally based on really meaningless things. And, again, it’s fine if you’re saying that you don’t consider this or that canon because you personally dislike it or where it went, or you find it difficult to work with, or between two contradictory things you prefer one or the other (I certainly have my fair share of strong opinions in this regard) -- but it would be better if we all admitted this and went “I just don’t consider this canon” instead of acting like there were ever some universal consensus or official backing.

"It didn’t happen this exact way, but something resembling it still happened”

So, we’re in this uncomfortable situation where we’ve been handed a ball of knots and have to work with it (a very frustrating situation especially for fanfic writers), and I have to personally say that I think all of this comes from people having far too inflexible of a concept of “canon” and “not canon”, especially to the point of rejecting a full-on perfectly fine entry just because of one timeline issue. I honestly think it’d be better if we could rather take a certain stance close to the Pixiv dictionary wiki’s view of how Wallace can appear in Kizuna: “(some version of) Wallace exists in the timeline of the main story.”

Right, so: Hurricane Touchdown is contradictory. The evolutions don’t work at that point in timeline, and Wallace shouldn’t be able to be a Chosen Child from before 1995. Those things don’t work with Adventure and 02′s timeline and lore. However, let’s look at the following story: let’s say that, between 02 episodes 14 and 15 (when the movie first screened), while school was on break, Daisuke and his friends went on a summer adventure to the US and met a boy named Wallace, who had a struggle regarding one of his partners losing his sanity, and bonded with him and helped put his partner to rest. No part of this contradicts 02 at all. There we go! So we can safely say that some story that mostly resembled Hurricane Touchdown happened in the canon timeline. Some of its details weren’t exactly the way they happened in “the movie we, as the audience, saw” -- but something that substantially resembled the movie still happened in the universe of Daisuke and his friends. And you can apply that same logic to Tag Tamers, or any other vital canonical but ostensibly contradictory material -- the media that we as the audience got may not accurately reflect the events in universe, but there’s absolutely nothing saying that some more timeline and lore-consistent alternate version didn’t happen in canon instead.

Moreover, even Adventure/02 itself gives you a bit of precedent for this concept -- namely, the fact that the final episode of 02 reveals that the entirety of Adventure and 02 is part of Takeru’s novels. It’s a pretty common theory that there might be differences in the way “the story we got” was presented, versus how they actually happened in the world Takeru lived in -- of course, Takeru certainly went out of his way to remove as much bias from the situation as he could, but you can hardly say that he, as a human, would be completely free from it, and he himself even admits that everyone he consulted had differing opinions on the events in question. And not every single piece of Digimon media has the Hirata-Hiroaki-as-Takeru narrator, which means that perhaps it’s not entirely out of the question that the different takes on the stories that the Tokyo Chosen Children went through in their youth would not be entirely consistent with each other, depending on who’s telling it. But that doesn’t mean that those events necessarily didn’t happen at all, just that some of the details were different from what we as the audience saw.

In the end, I leave the rest to everyone else to figure out -- as I said, I think this is a decision everyone will have to make for themselves, whether they’re a fanfic writer picking and choosing what to include for the sake of a coherent fic, or whether they’re just expressing a preference to not have to think too hard about or work with something they’re turned off by. (And in the case that there is someone who expresses their dislike of working with something and doesn’t want to consider it canon, I think it’s very rude to give them grief for that, and conversely, if you don’t want to consider something canon but encounter someone who doesn’t have as much of a problem with it, it’s very rude to try and expect them to change their opinion to yours.) But I do think it would do well for all of us to have a bit more of an open mind and a creative attitude towards these kinds of things before trying to shove everything into a “fully canon” and “fully not canon” binary.

[subwalls]

Tales from the SMP Presents: The Haunted Mansion

An ongoing exploration of how the Inbetween drives my Kingdom Hearts brain crazy with paranoia! Less of an analysis this time, because we got confirmation (VALIDATION!!), and more of speculation, but yeah!

First of all! I was right not to trust this fucker.

Just kidding, that’s not the first thing we’re gonna talk about here. First of all, a gentle recap!

As I’ve mentioned before, the Inbetween has some uncanny resemblance to the Kingdom Hearts world known as Castle Oblivion. Castle Oblivion is known for being the place where the main series protagonist lost all of his memories, and even had false memories implanted while he was getting deeper and deeper into it. 

You might be curious as to how the Kingdom Hearts protagonist escapes.

He doesn’t.

He needs outside help, and a lot of it, to get him out of that situation. Even then, it takes a whole year. He drove his own heart into the bottom of the abyss in his desperation to save someone he was tricked into thinking he knew, and he didn’t even regret it, because he was saving someone.

... A lot of people on Dream SMP have different ideas on what it means to save people.

Also, the castle also had a very plot-twisty secret where it used to be the lush and wonderful home of these three friends before they fell apart; one was lost to the Evil Dark Side™ (not real name), the other was trapped in the Realm of Darkness (real name), and the last one fell into a coma for TEN (10) YEARS and his body was left to be protected in the heart of the land, which was then locked and turned into Castle Oblivion.

So, pretty fucked up place! Not inherently evil, but the place of great misfortune and just... not very good for everyone there.

Let’s start at the beginning!

Welcome back indeed. Take notice of the wither rose in the pot, by the way, I’ll come back to this in a bit.

The first thing that stands out to me on this page is the smiley face, of course. It’s not the ever-iconic, ever-evil “:)”, but it’s similar enough that I think the callback is intentional. The smiley is c!Dream’s icon, of course, which... honestly makes me think that “:]” might be DreamXD, but that might be because I’m very very biased for the server god who simps for a dangerously apathetic cottagecore once-king.

Of course, it does also look kind of like Quackity’s face, and cc!Quackity has said something about big lore coming for him, but until further evidence is presented I’m disinclined to draw a connection there.

The Inbetween, as we’ve come to know the author of some of these books to be, being happy that Karl is continuing—it reminds me of the KH protagonist being told yes, good job, keep going, as he stumbles deeper and deeper into the castle that strips away memory after memory from his heart. Why does the Inbetween think that Karl’s time travel is important, his careful documentation of every story? Is it because the more he does it, the more he becomes attached? The more he becomes reliant on the Inbetween to feed the missing pieces of his memory?

Is it because the Inbetween, in parallel to c!Dream and c!Wilbur, prioritize the concept of story over the characters?

Things to think about. 🤔

Also kind of interesting that the Inbetween thinks Karl will eventually uncover “all [he] needs to”, which continues to make me think that the more c!Karl comes to the Inbetween the more he becomes... either dependent or over-trusting of it. Not sure. But weird things happen when it’s magic that tampers with memories, rather than trauma.

Basically, I’m getting “there is no war in Ba Sing Se” vibes.

The book continues to say that Karl probably has a lot of questions and that it would love to answer :] but never actually does. It’s trying to come off as helpful without actually being helpful. All it does is tempt him with the prospect of answers, and then draws him in deeper. “Continue onward, Karl.” But why?

Another wither rose pot.

Sidestepping the very innocuous, very surface-level information offered here (because that’s it, it’s nothing about the workings about the Inbetween, it’s just a little sweet carrot to distract with), I cannot even begin to convey the absolute terror that consumed me at the word “sleepy.”

I mentioned earlier that one of the original characters who lived in the land that would become Castle Oblivion went into a coma, right? But it’s more commonly referred to as sleeping. The game is even called “Birth by Sleep”, and there’s a whole thing about trying to get him to “wake up”. So the idea that time travel can take something out of the traveller that makes them tired, the idea that there is one specific room for sleeping quarters within the Inbetween, paired with that not-quite-right smiley face—I am traumatized, I tell you.

Yes it could be a “haha look what I did with the sentence, because day is a form of time and they time travel so long day is a funny term” kind of smiley, but. Kingdom Hearts has trained me to be suspicious of any talk of sleep.

There’s something just mildly unsettling about the way it continues, with the references to the “many Karls” and the “many many great stories” that sounds borderline condescending.

And now we get the, uh, “other” author. Notice how this one actually did not have a corresponding wither rose in a pot. I’m starting to think that the flower might actually be an indicator of the not-this-author-pictured-above, the probably-Inbetween-itself, so the fact that this book was found separately from a wither rose pot and it was tucked away under a tree... A tree, under which c!Karl will later find a bit of a refuge... yeah, different author. Or at least an author from a different time.

I’ll elaborate in a moment, but I do think that there’s three (3) mindsets/authors happening here: the sickly sweet Inbetween pretending to be good, the person trying to get c!Karl to distrust the Inbetween, and... someone who desperately wants c!Karl to stay in line.

This is the third... I don’t want to say author, because it too has the wither rose pot and is trying to keep c!Karl playing along with the Inbetween, but it’s much less coherent and much more desperate.

No “:]”, either.

Some possibilities I’m considering:

the Inbetween, but it’s like, a security subroutine or a glitch in the system,

the Inbetween, but it’s from a future wherein c!Karl has fucked it up to the point of desperation,

Karl / the other author, but it’s from a future, where trying to stray from the Inbetween resulted in something traumatic happening and they don’t want it to happen anymore.

Some fun possibilities to keep in mind. Anyway!

Ooh, the return of the wither rose pot.

For this part, the only thing I really have to say is that the repetition of the Inbetween trying to present itself as “a place to feel at ease” is... Well, as the lovely Fear has said in this post linked here, a place that tries and makes itself seem safe probably isn’t, because a genuinely safe place wouldn’t need to announce it all the time.

Very much sounding like a Ba Sing Se thing.

More importantly, the book actually says that it’s “wild” how the Inbetween is “so beautiful that even time travellers who go anywhere at anytime ever and they still choose here” with a good old “:]” tacked on at the end. That’s... that’s not just me thinking like that sounds kind of threatening, right? Like, time travellers can see anything anywhere, and they keep coming back to the Inbetween. Why?

Is it because they forget the beauty of anything else? Is it because it’s not beauty, but rather attachment and emotion that keeps someone going back to a place? If someone forgets their loved ones and precious things, then why would they go anywhere but the place where they’ve put all their stories?

Why did KH’s protagonist keep going deeper into Castle Oblivion even though he knew that the castle was taking apart his memories? Because he had one thing left: the fake, implanted memory, which told him that in order to save someone, he needed to push on no matter the personal cost.

So the real question is: are the time travellers coming back to the Inbetween because they want to, or because they no longer have a choice?

It regards all the different Karls with such... distant affection, too. “How beautiful,” it calls them, for wandering the blank halls with blank stares and blank hearts, none of which react to each other. It says that they “choose” to walk the halls, uncover mysteries, and tell stories. But what was the other choice? Was it really a choice at all?

Hmm.

Karl goes on to explore, and finds another book that does not have a wither rose pot, which tells him he has to go Under The Tree.mp3 and informs him that he “can’t afford not to”. Cool. Not ominous at all.

He finds another, which says the same thing.

Definitely not ominous. /s

The phrasing here is interesting, because it’s also phrased like a threat. Usually, when someone tells you that you “can’t afford not to”, you’re either looking at a scam or at the business end of a weapon. But the empty pages tell you that the author is trying to keep it down low. That’s one of the ways Minecraft players have found to express tone in the very limited form of Minecraft books, and it works splendidly.

Not to push my DreamXD agenda, but like... the door was iron. Iron doors are a weakness for Dreams and dreamons and, mayhaps, Dream’s dreamon.

I know it’s probably just because the iron door keeps in line with the color palette of the build but let me dream, alright.

Anyway, book content! And an interesting point of order: there is a wither rose pot. I said earlier that it might be an indicator of the Inbetween as an author, but that doesn’t make much sense now, does it? This is meant to be a place hidden from the “it” that I assume to be either the Inbetween itself or the one/s controlling it.

So why the wither rose pot inconsistency?

Unless it doesn’t mean that. Unless it’s just a metaphor for, say, memories withering away or something. Or maybe it’s just a pretty plant, for funsies! Who knows. If I had to guess, I’d say that (after much reflection) it’s likely less a mark of author and more a theme of, mm, memory status. The withering away of memories. It fits in with the Inbetween, because that’s what might be responsible for it, but the author/s of the book aren’t immune, either. They get blinks of clarity, with the hidden, tucked-away tomes, but they might not be completely free.

The next book, however, again lacks the wither rose pot. It might not be a coincidence that the one without the potential mark of a withering memory is the one that actually divulges some more information.

This book goes into slightly more detail about the warning, though not about whatever actual threat it is that the castle (which... Castle Oblivion, you know) presents.

It says that 1) it’s not what it seems, 2) the "truth about the other forms of you”, 3) this place “is not okay”, and 4) get in that portal we saw that was blocked off before.

We know that the Inbetween isn’t what it seems, but the “truth” about the other forms... Hm. This is, in fact, another Kingdom Hearts Thing. There’s a running joke that everyone on the very large cast of characters in KH that in the end, every person is actually either secretly a version of the antagonist (through possession or body splitting or whatever), or a version of the protagonist (through similar concepts). Multiple bodies and other forms is definitely a Thing in KH, though it’s not as oh-god-not-again definitely-bad as the sleeping thing.

I think the other forms have either become reliant on the Inbetween or have forgotten everything but the Inbetween, or both. Maybe more of the prior, since the warning is against trusting the place.

And, uh, this? Fucking terrifying. I love it to pieces.

Every single one of these books has a wither rose pot, and this is kind of why I think that the Inbetween or its master/s is, in some way, possibly functioning via routines and like... an AI. Or a genius loci kind of thing.

But good news, there aren’t 13 books, there are 14! This is important for Kingdom Hearts reasons, because Kingdom Hearts has a big thing about the numbers 13 and 7 (13 is the number of pieces of darkness, and 7 is the number of pieces of light, and this is equal somehow, don’t question it).

Now, 14 is an important meme number in the MCYT fandom, of course, but I don’t think it has terribly too much to do with the lore beyond a fun easter egg.

The books themselves trying to tell c!Karl to, essentially, go with the flow and the path that the Inbetween has set up for him is... something. I like the idea that it’s some future version of something trying to stop something from happening, but we all know it’s probably not going to work. Fun times.

And finally, this.

The Inbetween is a bit of a narcissist, huh? It won’t shut up about how it’s so pretty and irresistible and the whole definition of, like, a honey trap. Oh my god it even describes it as ~mysterious~ as a good trait, that’s hilarious.

More pertinently, it also calls the Inbetween “a time traveller’s dream”.

A time traveller’s. Dream.

Again, not to push my DreamXD agenda, BUT—

But! Getting back on track, the book expresses its eagerness to see Karl again, says their relationship is gonna be great, reminds him that his stories are important, and then tells him that he needs the Inbetween/author just like the SMP needs him.

Uh. He’s going to need the Inbetween?

Hello?

Why? How? So far it’s presented itself as being pretty and perfect but it never said anything about necessity! What’s going on!

Very much reminded of how Castle Oblivion was presented as “you need to keep going in even though it takes your memories away because there’s someone you need to save [fake but you don’t know that because you don’t remember anything]”, and I am afright.

Talk about subtle strings being tugged at here. I’m really seeing the beginning seeds of a dependency thing being sown, and if it weren’t for the side books painting giant neon warning signs everywhere, I don’t know if it would’ve caught on. An artificially cultivated concept of how important and great the Inbetween is, and don’t you just want to take all those stories from that messy world elsewhere but come back here in the end to take a break and exist and explore and oh, isn’t the Inbetween great, isn’t it wonderful?

Man, c!Dream wishes he was this good at subtle manipulation.

tldr; there are multiple authors trying to tug c!Karl in different directions via those books. The Kingdom Hearts parallels predict that his memory will be at stake, and he might not be able to escape without help.

[thelastpilot]

‘On GOD We Are Going to Get You a Girlfriend’- A Lovesquare Story as suffered by Nino

My last charity fic for @mlbforblm! The prompt was Aged Up College AU lovesquare, in which Adrien is struggling with his love for both Marinette and Ladybug and Nino is put in the position to be the ultimate wingman. I went a little off script with this prompt but I hope it scratches that itch nonetheless. 

The concept itself lent itself much better to 15k than 4 but I did what I could! Hope it gets a laugh out of you. 

It was twilight in Paris, the tail end of sunset slipping away as people all across campus engaged in extremely varied states of productivity. That is to say, at most 20% of the campus’ live-in population was actually getting any work done, while the rest of them were either limping along or had already given up.

It was midterms week, clearly.

In the dim space of a reasonable apartment accommodation were well -intentioned study implements of every kind. The completely average couch and carpet were covered with just enough of a layer of highlighters, pens, and printed pages to give a really studious impression at a glance, but whatever vibe it might have managed was thoroughly ruined by a young man laying face down on the floor, a game console nearly tumbling from his hands. Another, separate, but equally as unfocused young man had his back to plain white wall against which they had been meaning to put like… a chair or something at least for most of the semester now, staring idly out of the sliding glass door to his left that offered only a sliver of a view from his current position. At most he could see two lovely, but neglected, potted plants and a shoddy balcony looking off towards the main body of their college campus.

He watched the small patch of sky he could see succumb to a light coverage of clouds, and as he considered the possibility of rain, he sighed.

“Nino?” he finally spoke, looking away from his strip of sky. He waited for a response for a second or two, before reaching out with his foot and gently prodding his friend’s side to check he was alive, smirking slightly when he received a grunt for his efforts.

“Mm,” Nino answered from his curled up position, the glasses on his face a perfect reflection of his Pokemon team’s stats, which was ironic considering that Stats was exactly the thing Nino was avoiding at the minute. After a beat too long, he realized his friend was still waiting on his response. He lifted his head slightly, his hat falling free to the ground as he said, “Mm? Yeah?” He blinked slowly. “What?”

Adrien smiled down at him, chuckling a little before tossing aside a textbook he had been pretending to take notes from for the last hour. When his lap was free he leaned forward and rolled to the ground, mimicking Nino’s exact positioning on the ground a small distance away from him, sighing again (louder this time).

“What?” Nino repeated himself, laughing when Adrien leveled him with a sour look. He rolled his eyes but dutifully paused his game, shutting his Switch off and putting it on the ground out of their eyeline. “Go for it dude, what’s up.”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Is it a girl thing?” Nino asked flatly, raising an eyebrow when all Adrien managed was a sheepish smile. “Dude.”

“Come on! You’re my friend, you’re contractually obligated. Look don’t make fun of me just help okay; I’m really stuck now.” Adrien pleaded with him, bringing his hands in front of him to cartoonishly beg for his grace. He got another eye roll for his trouble but Nino hadn’t gotten up and left yet so that was a good sign.

It wasn’t that his friend didn’t want to help him, its just that… well.

Adrien always had some kind of girl problem, pretty much off and on for the past five years. He knew it got hard to listen to and Nino had put in way more than his fair share of time into this. Especially since he had made essentially no progress whatsoever in all that time, but boy was he almost on to something here.

Nino said nothing else, making a vague hand gesture for him to continue and Adrien did as he always did.

He hesitated, carefully considering how to phrase something.

“So um, there is this girl. That uh, girl, I always talk about. The one you don’t know. And then there is another girl, one who you do know.”

“Do we HAVE to be so vague man? We’re in our own place, there is no one around. Can’t you just say it? I get so confused when we do it like this.”

Adrien tensed slightly, discomfort crawling up his back. “I uh, I can’t. Just- just listen okay? I can’t explain it.”

“We’re in our house,” Nino complained again. But Adrien ignored him, because he always ignored him when he said that.

“Just listen okay?”

Nino looked at him squarely, or at least as squarely as he could manage while laying on the ground. When Adrien patiently waited for a response Nino finally sighed, rolling on his stomach and laying his face sideways on the floor to match him, nodding stiffly for him to continue.

“It’s just, there is these two girls,” he began, “I’m losing my mind over it, I’m worried man and it’s coming to a head. I know I’ve said that before, but I mean it this time. I have never ONCE in my entire LIFE gotten the timing right Nino, I’m dead serious.” Adrien rolled around a little gripping his hair with both hands. “I get the timing wrong EVERY TIME. I have never been where I’m supposed to be! I’ve never made a move at the right time I have never done it right. I get close with one girl but she doesn’t reciprocate or she tells me to wait or she says that its complicated, then I get close to the other girl but I feel GUILTY because I still care about the first girl. But she says it isn’t right so I work on it I let go but then the other girl is gone or moves on or life gets in the way. I have been in the wrong place EVERY TIME-,”

 Adrien’s ranting continues, rolling around on their carpet as he incredibly vaguely and very stupidly details a problem that he has had for many, many years. Nino can feel himself retreating into his own thoughts, more focused on Adrien’s animated rolling than his actual words. He reaches out once to save a stack of notes from getting creased and ruined, but other than that remains completely still and lets his friend do his thing.

This happened maybe once a week or so, maybe a little less often or more often depending on the status of the girls.

The fact that Adrien literally REFUSED to say their names made this completely incoherent, but where in his love life he was inconsistent, when it came to never talking about work Adrien was true to form.

Nino blinked blearily as Adrien continued, pouring over the reasons he cared so deeply for them both and why that made him feel like a bad person. It left Nino to stew, wondering much like always why they did it like this.

The two of them were superheroes. Spoilers if you didn’t know. He didn’t feel like much of a superhero when he was sprawled out on his shared apartment floor suffering the long run up to failing his Stats midterm like any other student. But the fact remained that he was one, and so was Adrien. The problem was that Adrien was serious about keeping life and work separate. It was pretty much only hard and fast rule about this gig that Nino had picked up on when he first joined. Never talk about work as a civilian, under any circumstances. You only get to talk about work when you’re suited up, and you’re only allowed to talk about life in plain clothes.

Honestly, it was so hard to do it that way, but the rules were clear, not that anyone had actually stopped to explain them to him. Adrien froze up whenever he even so much as mentioned an akuma attack or asked about an injury. Don’t talk about work, but…

They lived together now, this was the first semester where they had done so and Nino was so hyped about it. Like FINALLY, our kwamis can relax and we can be ourselves. He had been so excited about it, but to his profound disappointment Adrien refused to relent on his rule. Their kwamis were never even out in the open except for in their rooms, like he knew Adrien was strict but surely he wasn’t that committed.

Nino understood that it was probably Ladybug’s rule but still, it’s not like she was here. He wouldn’t advocate for disobeying her but… come on man. His brain hurt.

He KNEW Adrien was talking about Ladybug/Marinette. He knew that for a fact, but Adrien would never say her name out loud, because that overlaps with work (even though they hang out with her in person like every single day.) Maybe Nino didn’t know who the heck this second girl he was talking about was, but at the very least he could be clear about one of them.

Whoever the second girl actually was sounded a lot like Marinette, so the for-sure thing was that he had a type. Honestly though he had stopped trying to figure it out years ago. If he wasn’t so exhausted from not studying he would humor him like he always did, but today… man he was kind of tired.

He waited until Adrien was done talking, undoubtably ending by asking for advice as per the usual. Then, like always, Nino said what he always did.

“You need to communicate. If you are not crystal clear with these girls about what they want and what you want nothing with ever happen. You need to bite the bullet and TELL them, at least ONE of them, what you’re thinking.”

And like always, Adrien groaned and covered his face and said, “It’s not that easy!”

They both grumbled dejectedly into the carpet, repeating their years old platitudes until they gave up on each other. Nino usually did this a lot better but he reserved the right to tap out and Adrien usually seemed to accept that.

The only different thing Adrien actually said was when he was standing. He mumbled, “I know, I know. You’re right, as usual but… I’m maybe gonna ask someone else. See what they think.”

“I don’t know what answer you’re hoping for, but that’s all I’ve got.”

“I know,” Adrien sighed, offering a hand to help him off the ground. He smiled gently, but his eyes were sad. Enough of a gesture to explain that he wasn’t actually mad at Nino’s dismissiveness. He had a right to refrain.

 They spent an idle few minutes cleaning up their mess, consolidating their notes and books into two loose piles and neither saying much. It was only about thirty or so minutes later when Adrien announced vaguely, “I’m gonna go for a run.”

“Yeah man,” Nino answered, knowing by heart Adrien’s codeword for ‘patrol’. Didn’t know why he didn’t just say it, but that was a dead horse long beaten.

 Adrien left within a minute or two but Nino stood blearily for awhile in the living room, staring at nothing as he debated just going to bed for the day.

He was just about to head to his room to ask if Wayzz was ready for dinner when the kwami in question came flying into the room, confidently out in the open space now that Adrien was gone.

“You’re getting a call!” Wayzz piped up importantly, waving his little flippers a bit to sell the point. “It’s Cat Noir!”

“I- what?” Nino sputtered, glancing towards the apartment door in confusion. “He literally just- ugh.” Nino groaned as loudly as possible, Wayzz shaking his head a little. “Why is he LIKE THIS, he could have just TOLD ME TO COME.”

“I know he’s odd about it, but he must have his reasons. You should go, he must need you for patrol.”

Nino demanded a few more moments of frustration, which Wayzz indulged, before grabbing his keys and unlocking a window in case he didn’t feel like using them. It was Adrien’s turn tonight but okay whatever.  

 It only took him a minute or two to transform and get out onto their building’s roof, stretching a bit before raising his wrist. He forced himself to take a deep breath and remind himself of the rules while he returned Adrien’s call.

Through the hazy, green, holographic screen he saw the face of Cat Noir answer on the first ring, the feline superhero sighing in relief and smiling widely.

“There you are! I was hoping you were out. Hey, I know this is kind of sudden but… um I was wondering if you were willing to meet up with me. I want to ask you about something.”

He allowed himself to hang his head in frustration just out of the video feeds eyeline, pulling a sharp breath through his teeth before answering, “Yeah bud. Lets meet up.”

“Great!” Cat Noir answered enthusiastically, genuinely happy that he had agreed for whatever reason. “Meet me here when you get a second,” and he sent over his current location. Sure enough he was literally like, one block over.

He hung up without a goodbye, dragging his feet as he started to head that way. He was slow about it sine it was at most five seconds away for him. Adrien was so INTENSE about this charade some days it just drove him completely crazy. But rules are rules.

He waited for about a minute to distance their patterns, then with a short jump and a few corner’s turned he found Cat Noir crouched on top of the Linguistics building.

“Hey, you got here fast,” Cat greeted him happily, a little nervous looking actually. ‘Carapace’ as he was really had to resist the eye roll there, deciding instead to nod.

He went over and sat somewhat heavily, not pretending with an greeting at all and just watching him flatly. For whatever reason this made Cat Noir hesitate a little, but he quickly got over it, pushing through the weirdness and folding his hands in his lap.

“Well, listen I won’t waste your time much. I know we don’t really do this, we only ever talk about work and that’s the safe thing, I get how it is.” Cat Noir looked away, his gaze fixated on the possibility of rain, before he finally sighed.

“I just… I was wondering if I could get some… girl advice?”

Cat Noir looked to his ally, scanning his face and getting even more nervous as he more or less saw a brick wall of an expression on Carapace’s face.

Carapace blinked, saying nothing as Cat Noir began to talk unprompted, persevering despite the lack of reciprocation.

“So um, there is a girl, and you know that.  I always talk about her, and there is another girl, one that you don’t know.”

Carapace blinked.

He softly let out a “Bro…” but Cat Noir was hyping himself up now and he started rolling.

“It’s just, there is these two girls,” he began, “I’m losing my mind over it, I’m worried man and it’s coming to this point where like, I-,”

He kept going, looking down at his gloved hands and missing Carapace’s slowly warping expression. He started rambling, about how he always got the timing wrong, about how he cared about both these girls so much and he just didn’t know what to do. He started and he didn’t stop, completely unaware of Carapace starting to lose touch with reality.

Finally Carapace interrupted, stammering slightly in a tone that was wildly like…

Disbelief?

“Dude I- stop, hang on. Dude I just- I know?” He waited for a beat, watching Cat Noir blink in confusion. He scanned his face, looking for just- literally anything. After another moment that was way too long, he finally braved it. “We- we already, we already talked about this.”

Cat straightened, throwing his head back in exasperation and groaning loudly, “Okay I know I talk about girls sometimes but I honestly never bother you with this much can you humor me please?”

“No I-,” Carapace paused, his voice getting quieter. “We just… literally we-,”.

“Please man I- UGH I’m really having trouble!” He nearly shouted it, looking so genuinely unheard that Carapace was reeling. “You’re one of my only close guy friends I NEED a second opinion, I’m begging now. I already asked my other friend but he always says the exact same thing and he’s RIGHT but I need someone to say something else!” Cat suddenly mimicked his voice saying, “”You need to communicate.” That’s what he says, he’s RIGHT obviously but I just-,”

He kept talking, briefly glossing over how this ‘friend of his’ wasn’t particularly helpful with this line of questioning, so Cat Noir had chosen to seek HIM out instead.

And as he went on with his rant, Carapace slowly brought his hands to his face in intense contemplation.

Suddenly, in the middle of Cat Noir’s over the top love ranting Carapace decided to interrupt him.

“Hold up- hold on now. I need to clarify something, just cause I need to double check alright, just checkin’ something.”

Cat Noir paused, looking to him and slowly saying, “…okay?”

“You KNOW I know you’re Adrien Agreste right?”

 Silence. Cat abruptly went rigid, but Carapace just splayed his hands wide, rapidly searching his face for confirmation of the impossible.

“Like dawg you KNOW that right? You’re aware? You know that right?”

Cat Noir was frozen, holding as still as possible like Carapace was a T-Rex and if he didn’t move this problem was just gonna go away. But Carapace pressed further, getting louder as he said “DUDE you know who I AM RIGHT?!”

The feline superheroes breathing was starting to pick up, his eyes blown wide as he REALLY looked at his friend, before he nearly inaudibly squeaked, “…no?”

“ADRIEN-,”

“Shhh!” Cat Noir leapt forward, trying to grapple him as he went into full panic mode, “Wait shut up shut up!”

“IT’S BEEN FIVE YEARS!”

“SHUT UP!”

They started to wrestle, Cat Noir violently shushing his companion as he had a full melt down, saying things like “All this time-!” and “You’re an idiot!” and “I thought you were just- oh my god!”

“Please!!! This is terrible Carapace shut up!! I don’t know how you found out my identity but I-,”

“WHOSE THE SECOND GIRL-!?”

“Lower your voice!”

“WHOSE THE SECOND GIRL”

“What do you mean?!”

Carapace gripped him hard by the shoulders and threw them both until Cat Noir was flat on his back with a harsh thump against the roof tiles. The turtle hero held him tight and shook his shoulders, his eyes crazed with years of realization colliding together at once. “Who is the second girl in your ridiculous life, what’s her name?!”

Cat Noir looked wild and frightened, finally becoming so flustered that he just hissed in a whisper, “It’s Marinette okay!?”

“And?”

“And WHAT!?”

“AND?” Carapace reiterated, shaking him harder.

“And LADYBUG you MORON!” he hissed as quietly as he possibly could.

Instantly Carapace stopped, holding him in a vice like grip just above the tiles. After an incredibly still moment, he dropped him, closing his eyes and putting his hands over his face.

Cat Noir was flat on his back, panting heavily and staring up at him freaked out, but it was like Carapace had been struck by lightning and he was just sitting there, completely still.

 “Oh,” was all he finally said, curling in on himself slightly. Before suddenly, he pitched to the side and just lay there on the roof tiles, rolling onto his stomach.

“…oh?!” Cat eventually managed, twisting onto his side to look at him just laying there. “That’s all you have to say?! Of COURSE it’s Ladybug! I talk about her EVERY. DAY.”  

“This… explains… so much,” Carapace muttered, not even listening to him. With a huff Cat crawled onto all four and went over to him, his heart racing in what was nearly a panic attack at this point. But all of Carapace’s energy had been spent, and he just mumbled dejectedly with his face smooshed against the tiles.

Cat Noir’s ears twisted forward, trying to make out the words, before he just lost his patience and hissed “What are you saying?!”

“I said YOU’RE STUPID!” the turtle barked out, turning his face back into the filthy roof.

“Why am I- UGH forget it! Just forget it we have a way bigger problem here- If Ladybug finds out my identity has been compromised she’s going to-,”

“Is SHE stupid too!?” Carapace interjected, twisting just enough to look up at him incredulously. “Is everyone stupid but ME?”

“What the hell are you talking about?! Dude there is RULES! No one is allowed to know anyone elses identity!”

Carapace just gaped at him, before his eyes unfocused and he just went limp. He whispered it when he said, “So she IS stupid…”

He waited a beat, and wretchedly mumbled to himself, “Oh god you’re both so stupid.”

 Cat Noir was at a loss, looking all around him like he was desperately trying to make sense of it all, stopping only to try and sort of Carapace’s miserable breakdown.

He was about to give up and just drag Carapace to a lockable room somewhere before his friend propped himself up all at once with the most exasperated expression he had ever seen on a human person.

“So help me- someone has to do some shit about this, listen to me-,” Carapace got to his knees and lunged forward to grab him by the bell. He pulled him forward, and with all the determination of a war general he proclaimed, “On GOD I am going to get you a girlfriend, do you hear me? I am going to make this happen because I can not STAND another DAY of this. Got it?!”

“I- Carapace I-!?”

“GOT IT?!”

  Cat Noir dangled helplessly in his grip, and with his last wits he sputtered out, “Okay, okay!!! I’ll do whatever you say!”