#doesn't necessarily mean that there's any romantic attraction

[marshmallowgoop]

Spoilers for the ninth Detective Conan OVA, "The Stranger From 10 Years Later."

Realistically, out-of-universe, I know it's little more than fanservice. It's a peek at what a popular recurring character's future could be, a snapshot of how things may turn out for him. But in-universe, I can't help thinking about the implications of 26- or 27-year-old Heiji's short cameo appearance in Shinichi's literal fever dream.

There's an immense level of detail to the entire scenario. The tree in the Kudo yard has grown taller, downtown Tokyo is littered with new buildings and renovated old ones, a high school teacher's face is lined with more wrinkles than he ought to have after a mere "few months." It's a vibrant, breathing world that Shinichi's imagined—one that indicates to me that he's deeply considered the possibility of never returning to his old life. He's walked by his home, in a body so small that he can't even unlock the gate, and thought to himself, "One day, that tree will tower over the fence, but I'll still be stuck as tiny Conan." He's ruminated about it, wondered and speculated and deliberated, how the city around him will change while he hasn't been allowed to, not in the way he wants.

And he's done the same concerning Heiji. And... it's positive. Immensely so.

Interviewer: For today, we'll be interviewing... The famous detective from Naniwa, Hattori Heiji-san! He has brilliantly solved numerous intricate cases and is now recognized all over Japan! He's even opened his own detective agency!

Or, at least, it is at first, anyway. It's quickly revealed that Heiji and Kazuha's relationship hasn't progressed in the slightest, which, while obviously not a particularly favorable outcome for either of them, does say something about Shinichi. Because you could argue that Shinichi envisions Heiji living the life that he himself so desperately desires. You could say that the true purpose of Heiji's appearance in this OVA is to accentuate the future that Shinichi craves but cannot have, not yet and never as himself, where he's the mastermind behind a thriving, well-renowned detective agency, where an interview with him is unquestioningly broadcast on a huge screen overlooking Tokyo streets, where busy passersby stop in place, look up, and listen to what he has to say.

And... where he's also popular with girls.

Heiji is known as "The Lady-Killer of Naniwa" in Shinichi's imagination, and especially early in the manga, Shinichi does explicitly enjoy that kind of attention (File 10, included as File 1 in Volume 2, spells this out directly).

Interviewer: I've heard that the young ladies have a certain nickname for Hattori-san... "The Lady-Killer of Naniwa."

But the fact that Heiji and Kazuha have gotten nowhere points me elsewhere. This isn't an idealized fantasy that Shinichi wishes he could have for himself in the slightest. Ran is his dream. The emotional heart of this special, the dominant, overarching tragedy, is how Conan's overwriting and erasure of Shinichi prevents him from being with his lifelong love. There's no way that Shinichi would ever imagine a "happy end" that's anything like what Heiji and Kazuha have going on in this OVA.

So, what does Shinichi's conception of 26- or 27-year-old Heiji mean? A few things:

Even in this nightmarish "bad end," Shinichi cannot conceive of a life without Heiji, just as he cannot conceive of a life without Ran. It's unthinkable.

Shinichi wholeheartedly believes that Heiji will be wildly successful in his career.

Shinichi wholeheartedly believes that Heiji is so attractive and good-looking that of course he'll be wildly popular with women. Undoubtedly.

tl;dr, Shinichi's thought about Heiji's future, and those thoughts are really essentially, "Yeah, there's no way that my boy Hattori isn't going to have his own fantastic detective agency one day, and also, he's a hunk, so he'll be called 'The Lady-Killer of Naniwa.'"

Seriously.

[celluloidbroomcloset]

I was thinking about the idea that homophobia doesn't exist in the world of Our Flag Means Death. I think it's clear that this is not the case, but it is a more complicated issue than what we think of when we discuss straightforward homophobia, and is closely aligned with how the different worlds represented in the show perceive sex, love, and desire.

(Before I get going, I want to be clear that I'm discussing the world of the show itself, not the world of the historical Caribbean in the 18th Century. Our Flag Means Death primarily uses history as a useful lens through which to filter our own time period and the things it wants to discuss, and so only uses history when it serves the show's purposes. These are all just my thoughts - I'm always happy to discuss them!)

There are two major worlds at play in the show: the English gentry that Stede comes from, and the pirate world. In neither world is homosexuality explicitly treated as illicit or unacceptable, though it is never mentioned or shown in the English world. Most of the homophobia expressed by characters lies in the perceptions of the "right" and "wrong" ways of performing gender and sexual roles. I talked about this a bit here in regards to Izzy's homophobia.

In both the English and the pirate worlds, Stede's gender presentation is openly questioned. Stede is a fop - not necessarily a sexual marker one way or the other - but he's also, in the words of the show, soft. His father labels him a "weak-hearted, soft-handed, lily-livered little rich boy" who has never done a "man's work," blanches at the sight of blood, and is only inheriting his power from better, more masculine men.

Within the world of the show, Stede occupies a role typically reserved for female characters, in which he's sold in marriage to build his family's wealth. His romantic desire to marry for love is knocked down; it doesn't matter if he loves Mary or she loves him, or if there is even any desire on either side, because the whole point is to unite their wealth and produce heirs to carry on that wealth.

In Stede's memories, the shift from getting married to having children is instantaneous. Sex is implied, but it barely exists for him - it was simply something that he had to do to fulfill his part. Again, this casts Stede in a role often reserved for female characters in fiction. The function of sex, in the English world, is procreation. Desire hardly enters into it, and love certainly doesn't. So it is likely that Stede's only sexual experiences are ones without desire and without love. They are simply to fulfill a function.

Pirate society is significantly more open when it comes to expression of sexuality, but it is still steeped in sexual roles and requirements. Stede's outward queerness marks him out, but it's his inward queerness and how that integrates his emotional core that makes him unacceptable within the masculine hierarchy represented by Izzy and Calico Jack.

I've gone into Izzy's toxic masculinity and hatred of Stede's gender presentation elsewhere, but to reiterate briefly - Izzy's biggest problem with Stede is that Stede does not occupy the correct gender role within the masculine hierarchy, nor does he occupy a properly defined sexual role. He is, in Izzy's view, supposed to be submissive to a dominant male, and he's anything but. He breaks the rules of piracy and he breaks the rules of masculinity, without seeming to be aware that there are rules to break (at least in the pirate world). Stede is "wrong" in Izzy's understanding of masculinity and homosexuality, just as he is wrong in the Badmintons'/his father's understanding.

It is Stede's breaking of those rules that attract Ed to him in the first place. He doesn't act like a pirate should. He's strange. He's off-script. He's...queer. That queerness draws Ed in - far from being repelled by it, as Izzy thinks he should be, he's fascinated by it. Stede's softness and gentleness are things that Blackbeard should either reject or attempt to dominate, and he does neither.

What comes out in Stede and Ed's interactions is that Ed himself doesn't just desire softness, but is soft himself. Beneath the masculinity he puts on, he wants to be touched with kindness, he wants to be embraced. One of Stede's first questions is if he "fancies a fine fabric." When Ed says he does, Stede doesn't laugh at him or view this as un-masculine. He shows Ed as many fine fabrics as he can, excited to finally have another man with whom to exchange this love.

Ed also wants to be submissive without being hurt. He gets Stede to stab him in a performance of sex, but the act implies even more than that - that sex and pain are closely related in the pirate world, tied to sexual roles (men who penetrated and men who are penetrated). But Stede, once more, is a gentle man who penetrates. He doesn't see the stabbing as a sexual act, nor does he get a sexual thrill from causing Ed pain. Ed submits to a man who cares that he's being hurt, and it is this softness that Ed wants and is, as yet, unable to ask for.

(It is notable that, when Ed recalls the stabbing in "Fun and Games," his main memory is of Stede's look of concern.)

The role of sex, love, and desire in the pirate world is made clearest with Calico Jack, far and away the most explicit representation of a pirate's toxic masculinity, who also highlights the reading of sex as about power and pain, not love. Calico Jack and Stede's conversation is the first time that sexual relationships between men is actually raised, in explicit and vulgar terms as Jack asks Stede if he and Ed are "buggering each other" and tells Stede "Blackie and I have had our dalliances."

Jack views Stede's response as being ashamed, but we see clearly that it's not shame but anger. Stede doesn't like who Ed is with Jack, and he doesn't like Jack's vulgarity, simplifying sex, and especially sex with Edward Teach, down to pure functions, not expressive of love or desire, just as they are in the English world. Jack's attitude that this is simply what men do to (not even with) other men when they are at sea, and he's proving his dominance by telling Stede that he's done it with Ed.

Stede is not ashamed at the assumption that he and Ed are having sex, but angry at the implication that sex between them would be "buggery" and "dalliance," not love (and, what's more, that Ed would be treated as a thing instead of a person by another man).

Stede's queerness is part of his emotional core - it is not a whim. It is not something he can discard or mask, regardless of how he dresses or behaves. It is not something that just "goes at sea," or that can be reduced to functions. It is integral to himself, and so he's been completely unable to conceal it from being perceived in either the English or the pirate world, though he has tried very hard to conceal it from himself.

Ed has also tried to conceal the emotional reality of his queerness via his performance as Blackbeard, turning it outward as violent games between men, without softer emotions. It is with Stede that his own emotional core is revealed, and the big mean pirate is shown to be a man who wants to be held and touched, to be submissive without being shamed or harmed.

They allow each other to be vulnerable, to move beyond their worlds' insistence on sex as being purely a function and to unite it with love and desire. Their romance develops out of friendship and a powerful emotional understanding that claims softness as strength.

Neither Stede nor Ed are acceptable in worlds dominated by toxic masculinity and controlled by rules of masculine hierarchy and power. But they are acceptable on the Revenge, filled with a crew of the "worst pirates in the world," all of whom openly, and increasingly, express fluid gender and sexual roles and identities that shift with relationships and feelings. Both are aligned with the queer liberation of the Revenge, itself shaped by Stede's ethos of kindness and breaking the "culture of violence" of piracy, but they have to break out of their worlds' underlying homophobia to find their way to each other.

[cepheusgalaxy]

"So, you wanna make them ace?"

Asexuality 101: Making your characters asexual

Indroduction: Ok, so, from what I've seen in fandom and in general, most people don't really know how to write an asexual character. Many just quit it and make them allosexual, others just struggle their way without having much of a guide. Prime example is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, whom many people want to involve in sexual scenarios so they go with the "asexuality is a spectrum" route. Problem is, they don't understand how asexuality is a spectrum exactly and then they just end up writing their characters as allo. Now, how to avoid this? Teaching them!

If you're looking for a good way to get started with your own asexual oc, an ace headcanon or a media charater, I've got you! (i mention sex briefly here in some parts)

My credentials: I'm ace.

The basics

What is asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is generally defined by the lack of sexual attraction, or a very little amount of it. Sexual attraction is many times confused with libido, which is the sexual desire. Sexual attraction is more accurately, "the desire of having sex with this specific person." Therefore, some ace people do have a libido, and do want to have sex, but mostly are just not attracted to a person.

Myths and misconceptions

Asexuals can't have sex - as many shippers say, "asexuality is a spectrum", and while some aces don't have sex indeed, they can want it and have it as well. Person to person scenario

Asexuals don't know nothing about sex - unless the ace in question is a child, they probably may know, in fact, a lot. Many ace people like reading, watching or consuming smut, and by this and other means, even if they don't have sex themselves, they pretty much know how it is and how it works. Sex is everywhere, after all. Hard to miss

Asexuality is caused by trauma - it can be! Just not always, and most aces are simply born this way

Asexuality is a medical condition - much like homosexuality, asexuality is frequently treated as an illnes and many ace people are forced into conversion therapy. Some people also hold the belief that asexuality is caused by an anormality in a person's hormones, a mental illness, etc. But it is not true! Asexual people can obviously also be mentally ill in some way, but these are different things. It is just a sexual orientation like any other!

Asexuality is caused by HRT - hormone replacement therapy, ie. taking testosterone or estrogen, is one of the most common type of medical transition for trans people. Some hold the belief that taking hormones like those can "break" your sexuality (estrogen does sometimes decrease a person's libido, but it depends on the person's organism and it doesn't take your sexual attraction away from you), and turn you asexual

Asexuality is caused by autism - this myth may be originated from the fact that many autistic people are in fact asexual, or by the fact that both asexuals and autistic people tend to be infantilized a lot. However, as much as autistic people are very commonly also ace, asexuality is not, in fact, a symptom of autism

Basic terminology

Ace - short for "asexual".

Aro - short for "aromantic"; someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction, aka typically "doesn't fall in love".

Allo - somebody who does experience attraction. "Allosexual" is someone who is not asexual, and "alloromantic" is someone who is not aromantic.

Aspec - short for "a-spectrum". The a-spectrum is an umbrella term for anyone who is in any way ace, aro, aplatonic, afamilial, or other identities that fit here.

Acespec - short for "asexual spectrum/ace spectrum". It's a part of the a-spectrum and contemplates all asexuality.

Aesthetic attraction - finding someone pretty or beatiful, without necessarily wanting to have sex with them. Many ace people who didn't know they were ace report to having used to mistake it with sexual attraction.

Sensual attraction - similar to sexual attraction; the desire to touch someone, but without wanting to actuall have sex with them. Many ace people also confused this with sexual attraction.

Aphobia - discrimination against aspec people.

Amatonormativity- the belief that everybody is happier in a relationship, wether they want it or not, and should want and seek to be in one, and the general root of aphobia.

The Split Attraction Model

If you are looking on the ace community for a while, you might have heard of the split attraction model--if you haven't, here it is:

Image description: The Split Attraction Model, a cross chart inside a square, with four ends. The first end of the cross is labelled "ace", its opposite is labelled as "alloce", the third end is labelled as "alloro" and it's opposite is labelled as "aro". The section on the "alloro" and "ace" square is labelled "alloromantic asexual", the section in the "ace" and "aro" part is labelled "aromantic asexual", the section on the "alloro" and "alloce" square is labelled as "alloromantic allosexual" and the section on the "aro" and "alloce" section is labelled "aromantic allosexual". /end ID.

The split attraction model divides all orientations in four groups: The aroaces, the aroallos, the alloaces and the alloallos. It is usually shortened to "SAM".

Many people find this model useful, because it sorts your attraction into two groups: allo- and a-, and yes and no. It's simple and easy.

Many aces do not use this model to explain their attraction/lack thereof though! Hence the first distinction of aces we have here: SAM-aces and non-SAM-aces. Basically aces who use the Split Attraction Model and aces who prefer not to!

A non-SAM ace may define their asexuality as their romantic orientation as well, or label themselves differently altogether. While a SAM ace could call themselves an "asexual aromantic" or an "asexual alloromantic", a non-SAM ace could call themselves just "an asexual". In this case, they can be neither "alloro" nor "aro".

If your character is aware of their sexuality and identifies as ace, it's good to know wether they use the Split Attraction Model for themselves or not.

The spectrum

You may have heard that "asexuality is a spectrum" a thousand times, but what does it mean?

Just like "non-binary", "asexual" can be an identity on its own, but it is actually an umbrella term for a bunch of orientations. When we say that it is a spectrum, we are saying that there is Nuance. "Ace who doesn't date", "ace who dates", "ace who experiences just a little bit of sexual attraction", "aces who like sex" and so on. 'But Angel', you ask me, 'didn't you say that asexuality is when people don't have sexual attraction?' It can be! But there IS nuance, and that's what I am here to tell you.

There are two more factors beyond the SAM that you can consider:

"Are they sex repulsed, sex favorable, or sex neutral?"

Here is the "aces can still have sex" thing. A sex repulsed ace is probably what the majority of people think when they hear "asexual". It is an ace person who doesn't like sex. Doesn't want to have it, is disgusted by it, despises sexual intimacy, etc. They are the aces who tipically just don't want to have sex, and are very happy without it.

A sex favorable asexual is someone who likes it. Sure, they don't feel sexual attraction, but who's letting it stop them, right? They like sexual acts, they are fine and happy with having sex in general, and that's what the "aces can still have sex" point means. Yes, they can, if they want to! Maybe your character themself doesn't define themselves as neither repulsed nor favorable, but it's good to know what their instance on sex is.

Inside the asexual spectrum, where do they stand?

Sex neutral asexuals are aces who are not repulsed by it, but are not really into it either. They may have sex, they may be fine with it, they may like it even, but they generally don't have a desire or strong feelings regarding it. It's just sex, after all.

Sex ambivalent asexuals are another thing I want to touch on. They are tipically aces whose instance on sex changes! Sometimes they may feel repulsed by it, sometimes they may want it, sometimes they may not care. They are neither strictly one, nor another. Their feelings change!

It's good to see where in this categorization your character or blorbo would be.

If I were to represent the ace spectrum as a linear thing, I'd do it like this:

Image description: A linear representation of the asexual spectrum, in the shape of an arch. In one end, it is written "asexual", on the other, it is written "allosexual" and on the very middle, at the top of the arch, it is written "gray-asexual". /end ID.

or like this:

Image description: Another linear representation of the asexual spectrum. One of the ends is a black circle and the other is a white circle. Between them, a gradient goes from one circle to another, passing through different shades of gray. The black end is labelled as "asexual", the white end is labelled as "allosexual", and the gradient with shades of gray is labelled "different kinds of Gray-As". /end ID.

What is graysexual, you ask me? We all know that the world is not black-and-white, and as so, sexuality is also not. Grayace is a term for a person that is also asexual, but not strictly: that is, they are the "feels a little of sexual attraction" part of the spectrum. It is called like that because when we put asexual and allosexual in two ends of a spectrum, graysexuality stands in this gray area.

Gray sexuals may:

Experience sexual attraction only sometimes

Experience light sexual attraction

Experience sexual attraction under certain conditions in certain scenarios, for example, when they are already very intimate with a certain person

And many more! Graysexuality is on itself a spectrum, but having an idea of allosexual -> graysexual -> strictly asexual is already a good guide. Graysexuality can also be described as "having partial sexual attraction".

Fun fact about gray-aces: The asexual flag has four stripes; purple, white, gray and black. The purple stripe is meant to be a color signifier of the community, the white means allosexual, the gray means the gray aces and the black stripe represents people with strictly no sexual attraction. Hence the term "black stripe asexual" (which is not very popular but I personally like).

Micro-labels

You already have a basic understanding of the asexual spectrum and how it works, so you can think on where exactly in the spectrum your character/blorbo is. To help you out further, I present you the microlabels! Much like non binary is an umbrella term with many microlabels like genderqueer, xenogender and demigender, that help one explain their identity with more and more specific explanations, asexuals also have a lot of microlabels! Here are some:

Cupiosexual - asexual person that wishes to have a sexual relationship (example: i am cupioromantic person and i am basically a hopeless romantic and a yearner. cupiosexuality is similar, but with sex)

Gray sexual - asexual person with partial sexual attraction

Demisexual - asexual person who can only be attracted to people they already have a bond with

Abrosexual - person whose sexuality is fluid, and may be asexual at one time, bisexual at another, gay at another, etc.

Aceflux - asexual person whose sexuality changes, like abrosexual, but only between asexual identities

Aegosexual - asexual person who likes the idea of sex or fantasises about it, as long as it doesn't envolve them

Lythosexual - asexual person who is only sexually attracted to people they are not close with, and their sexual attraction fades out once the become closer

Myrsexual - asexual person that uses multiple asexual identities to describe their sexuality

Aroace - aromantic asexual person

Alloace - alloromantic asexual person

Apothisexual - sex-repulsed asexual person

These are not all micro labels in the asexual spectrum, but they are quite a lot. Maybe even if your charater is not sure if they are in a certain label or not, you may find them in some of these descriptions.

Bonus questions

Links to resources with more microlabels: Tumblr post by @aroacesafeplaceforall (no images) /

/ A slightly longer list on asexuals.net (undescribed flags) /

/ Another guide for microlabels on lgbtqia.fandom.com (undescribed flags)

Is it okay if I make my asexual character autistic? Is it not stereotyping? Yes, it's okay. There are actual asexual autistic people, and I'm sure they'd love to get represented as well!

Is it okay if I make my asexual character have sex? Is it not erasure? Yes, you can do that too! As long as it is where they stand in the spectrum (as explained in the topics above), you are doing a good thing by representing sex-favorable asexuals.

Do I have to make a romantic orientation for them too? No. Your character may be a non-sam ace, and identify as ace alone!

I heard that it is erasure if I make smut fanfic of ace character X. I don't get it how! While it is true many ace people have sex, many people when writing that just ignore their sexuality when writing/drawing smut of them! The spectrum is wide, so when you are doing that, remember where they stand on it.

Why can't I headcanon this ace character as allosexual? I headcanon straight characters as gay/bi/pan all the time and nobody says it's wrong! If people don't like my headcanon why can't they just look away? Because asexual people are a marginalized group, unlike straight people, so it is as okay to make them allo as it is to take an asian or black or jewish character and make them white. Because it is not just an individual headcanon; it's a part of a much bigger problem, and by avoiding headcanoning ace characters as allo, you are confronting your own internalized aphobia, which is a good thing! If you still want to make them have sex, well, that's what I made this guide for! So you can make them have sex as you wish without erasing their identity.

I am ace and am basing myself or my own experiences here. Is it okay if I...? The answer is generally yes. If you wanna write about a different ace experience than your own, a little bit of research won't hurt, though!

Is this enough for me to write my ace character? It is a start. This is a general guide, and there are some things I haven't touched on this guide (like aphobia) so I'd advice you to do more in-depth research on topics you want to focus more on, but this should get you pretty far.

Extra

"Is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel canonically ace or aroace?" (slightly related, because some people looking for this guide to write this guy might want to know this too)

Answer: link to a post clearing this up this with some sources. Short answer though, is that he is confirmed to be ace, not aroace.

"If I didn't understand something here, or I have more questions, can I ask you?"

Answer: Yes! You can reblog this post with questions, and my inbox is also open, and I make sure to always let anon on. I will be happy to help if I can.

"One of the image descriptions on this post was off or confusing, can you change it to X so it is better to understand it?"

Answer: Of course! I will need you to signal me in either the notes or in the inbox what I need to change, though.

"Are asexual people queer?"

Answer: Yes! Because the queer community, as the name suggests, is for people who are different, odd, and are not considered "normal" because of that. Asexual people are not a part of "the norm", because we don't feel sexual attraction, and therefore, we, and by extension your ace characters too, are queer.

<2

[anistarrose]

A while ago I saw a post that started out wishing Lilith's aroace identity got addressed onscreen, and I was like "yeah I totally agree, a voice acted stream reveal is many steps above 'some writer tweeting it after the show ends' but it would've still been far more exuberant and impactful to see it in the show." But then OP continued by saying there's nothing in Lilith's arc that reflects aromantic experiences, and look, I'm biased as the Lilith icon person, but like. Your experiences are not universal.

And... that's okay! My experiences aren't universal either. But as an aroace, I do have to say: Lilith does reflects one type of aroace experience, and that's the chronically ill aroace experience in particular.

It's the way that she's an adult who needs care from others, but first moves back in with her sister, and then moves back in with her parents, instead of moving in with or seeking out a romantic partner.

It's the way she grapples with independence and individualism, struggling to unravel "what she wants" from "what she needs in terms of support" and from "what society revolving around the Emperor's Coven has tricked her into conflating with self-worth".

It's the way she looks at her reflection and asks: "Am I broken?"

Not all aroaces are disabled and chronically ill. Not all aroaces have (or want) intense platonic friendships or close sibling relationships, and not are able to heal from trauma by living with their family. These are all arguments for more variety in aroace representation, to say nothing of a-spec representation as a whole — that just doesn't mean aroace characters with these traits don't represent anyone.

And this is also a chance to touch on a distinction that I feel isn't drawn often enough when talking about queer subtext of any form: I don't think Lilith, if you're only looking at the show itself, is a strongly or undeniably aroace-coded character. But she's absolutely a character whose arc is enhanced upon learning that she's aroace.

So don't get me wrong: I would like more than this. Lilith is like a baby step in terms of a-spec representation in animation — a meaningful step, but a small one. But for a series where each season except the first was heavily impacted (read: compressed) by the cancellation, and the unaffected first season was also the only one Lilith spent as an extremely polarizing villain, you can see how the crew could've gone in with extremely conscientious intentions and wound up having to make a tough call, right?

I don't even necessarily think they made the right call, I'm just willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they tried. It feels like they put more than just some performative 30 seconds of thought into imagining how a disabled aroace with serious self-worth issues would interact with the world and improve herself — or, at least realized after some experience writing Lilith that being aroace fit her, and let that inform much of her Season 2 arc.

Like, maybe I'm personally extra desperate for disabled a-specs in media, but honestly? Lilith is a well-written one in all aspects but the lack of an onscreen "I've never felt attraction to someone" — and you don't have to agree with me, but I'll die on the hill that that all counts for something.

No hate to OP — if you know what post I'm vagueing about, be chill and normal about it, please. It's fine for some people not to feel represented, and put their thoughts out there — but it also seems that I, as a person who feels very represented, should put out some of my own thoughts for balance.

[graves4girls]

for syzoothhhh... any fluff relationship hcs on your mind ?

☆ headcanons | syzoth

✮ wc. 1.2k ⚠︎ warning(s): gn!reader (i normally write fem!readers so if i put the wrong prns smwhere let me know and i'll fix it) i apologize if this is ooc i'm still learning how to write him (つ﹏<。)

also idk what species his family was so let's just say they weren't human/humanoid so this holds up

Just to start off, he finds himself taking a liking to you far too quickly, and he doesn't really understand why exactly you're so intriguing at first. Maybe it was the way you accepted him so earnestly upon meeting him, without a hint of dishonesty in your sweet voice, or maybe it was the simple fact that he found you to be incredibly appealing physically. Spoilers: It was both, and so. much. more.

He's hesitant to bare his natural form in front of you at first, worried he'd scare you off. And he panics when he spots you in a crowd, having just wielded his scales moments prior in the midst of battle, unaware of your presence until the damage was already done. 

You'd found him before he could flee the battleground, gently prodding questions at the scene that'd just unfolded before you, and he sheepishly offers a mumbly explanation, green eyes darting everywhere but your own. You had assured him it was "fucking awesome," and he fell that much harder.

When he does realize he's attracted to you romantically, he isn't quite sure how to run the news by you. Does he just outright blurt it out? Does he drop little hints and let you figure it out? He doesn't have a clue how human attraction works, not necessarily having much practice in the area, so instead he yearns from a distance for a good while. 

You'd catch him staring at you whenever you were in the same room, and he'd always be the first one to defend/protect you, were you caught up in any sort of trouble.

He isn't the best at hiding his infatuation, as much as he'd like to say he is. He slips up numerous times: lingering a hand on your waist when he helps you up from the sparring mat, offering you small trinkets he says reminds him of you almost on a daily basis, spewing mindless praises whenever you do something that impresses him before he can stop himself. I mean, can you blame him? You were perfect in every way.

You catch him alone one afternoon, giving him a knowing look as you tilt your head. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He'd stiffened for a moment, concerned with your sudden cornering. "Have I upset you?" You punch his chest lightly, rolling your eyes with a small smile. "No, you're not in trouble. I was just wondering…how much longer are you gonna wait to make a move?"

He was both thrilled and utterly mortified by your interrogation, but he wouldn't dwell on it. He'd finally been able to voice his feelings, and you'd accepted his confession with a sweet smile and a brush of your thumb over his knuckles. 

NOW to the ensuing relationship.

He was already protective of you prior to your relationship, but with the new emotional territory came his heightened need to keep you from harm or stress, following you like a lost puppy whenever you ventured into foreign land, unknowing of the threats that may be lurking, or clinging to you whenever you fell victim to unwanted attention, assuring whoever was heckling you knew he wasn't one to piss off.

Even behind closed doors, he's hanging off of you any chance he can take, partially owing to the fact that he's cold-blooded, and you're so warm. He can't get enough of your body heat, draped over you like a blanket as you tend to the most mundane of tasks, half-heartedly whining that he was too heavy to be dropping his full weight on your back as you amble around the house. 

He's not exactly accustomed to the physicality of an intimate relationship in this form, but he swears he falls even harder when he sees how patient you are with him. You don't reprimand him if he accidentally bashes your noses together the first couple times he tries to initiate a kiss, or when he kind of hovers his hands around you when you slip into his lap to make out, unsure of where to grab you. You'd giggled against his lips, mumbling something into his skin as you'd settled his hands on your waist, assuring him he was getting the hang of this thing.

When he learns how to kiss you without nearly breaking one of your noses, he's stealing kisses left and right, whether it be a quick, chaste peck to the lips or full on tongue. He's starting to understand the appeal of human relationships. 

He's not too much of a show-off when it comes to being out in public, he likes to keep your business your business. But, if need be, he'll wrap an arm around your waist, or press his chest to your back with a hand settled on your hip if someone tries to chat you up, his subtle possessiveness creeping up on him as he spits a few choice words. He avoids your eyes, a bit embarrassed at his childish behavior when you tease him about it later, but you follow up your taunt with a kiss, hand caressing his cheek. "It was kinda hot, honestly."

Selfishly, he loves to be praised and complimented. Be it due to his rough past, he absolutely melts whenever you shower him in heartfelt praises. You tell him how much you love him, how drop-dead gorgeous he is, how proud you are of him, and he's a mess. Thanks to your constant affirmations, he isn't nearly as ashamed of this form as he was before you met, and damn if he isn't grateful to have someone like you to call his.

He adores his alone time with you, soft caresses to his strong muscles as you ramble about your most recent training session, fingers absentmindedly drawing shapes into his skin as he listens to every word that falls from your pretty lips. He'll never get tired of the way your warm hand mindlessly trails all over his cold skin, ultimately ending the night with him curled around you from behind, arms like a vice as he silently pleads you to stay with him, nuzzling his nose into the side of your neck as he falls asleep.

He enjoys the days where you offer him a massage after a long sparring match, chilled skin warmed by the candles you light as he relaxes against your touch. Little hisses and grunts leave him as you knead at the tense muscles, working out all the knots with skill, and without fail he ends up fast asleep every single time.

He also likes when you run your fingers through his short hair, nails gently massaging his scalp as he hums, leaning into your gentle touch.

On the off chance he decides to morph back into his natural form, he'll curl up to you, big head nestled in your lap as you run your fingers along his rough scales, low, content grumbles rumbling in his throat as he lays there. 

He's absolutely head over heels for you, and he makes sure you know it. Nuzzling up to you in the quiet comfort of your home, longing gazes when he can't get to you from across the room, muttering gentle reminders of his unbridled affection in passing between training sessions or battles.

[will-o-the-witch]

Fixing Troublesome Divination Questions

Sometimes people ask you questions that simply aren't built for your method of choice. Other times, you may have a personal policy against reading for the topic they ask. This doesn't mean you have to reject them entirely. One good skill as a reader is knowing how to guide people towards a more productive question. Here's a list of common issues (in my experience) and what I typically say in response. I'm writing this with tarot in mind, so feel free to tweak it for your needs!

Medical advice- I can't offer you medical advice, but how about we look into things you can do to better take care of yourself and your mental health while you're searching for those answers?

When will I find love? What will the person be like?- Free will means I can't tell you with any certainty, but let's see what your current behavior is leading towards and the type of person it's attracting. If you want to course correct from there we can look at steps you can take to do that.

How can I get X to like me?- I can't control people's behavior or read minds, but depending on the situation we can look into things you can do to try and either develop your relationship (as two people, not necessarily romantic partners) in a positive and healthy way and/or move on from them.

What is X thinking/feeling?- I can't read minds, but we can look into ways you can better communicate with the person in order to find out/resolve any issues!

Will I succeed in my career/academic goal?- How about instead of skipping to the end, we look into steps and advice for how to best accomplish that from here?

Have I been hexed? By who?- Nothing I do here is takes the place of hard evidence. If you'd like, we can use this time to reflect on/ rule out other potential causes for the problems and look at ways to fix them!

What should I chose for this big important life decision?- That's ultimately up to you, but we can use this time to reflect on the pros/cons of each in a fresh way!

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Why Ray will continue to inevitably hurt Sand

Episode 3 was just the first of many instances where Ray will hurt Sand. This is just the beginning folks.

Ray's Persuasive Teasing vs Sand's Defenceless Sincerity

By Ray's own admission, he likes teasing Sand to get a rise out of him. He finds Sand's "stupid" (aka sincere/honest) reactions endearing or amusing. A word of caution that what he says can't always be taken on face value. Flirting to him doesn't necessarily imply romantic intent.

Whilst Sand is helplessly sincere (sometimes to his own detriment). He approaches things with the gravity he feels they deserve, which could explain why he doesn't sleep with anyone who isn't his lover more than once. He prefers to keep a clear distinction between a hook-up, friends or lovers.

For all intents and purposes, Sand is trying to keep things pretty cut and dry with Ray. If friends is what they've agreed to be, he'll adhere to that. Yet it's Ray whose initiating in most cases and muddying the waters. Because Sand's defences against Ray are fairly non-existent, he's easily swayed against his better judgement to engage in behaviour that blurs those lines. Sand is weak to Ray's flirting because it's a form of flattery. It gives the illusion of being desired, of being needed. That's an easy thing for anyone to fall prey to.

As long as Sand allows himself to be under Ray's persuasion, he's in prime position to get hurt. His concessions permit Ray to continue taking the lead and dictating the terms. This will make it even harder for him to fight for what he wants when it comes down to it.

'I'm not like your other friends'

Sand makes a point of highlighting this. 'If I'm supposedly just your friend, then what are we doing? This isn't what friends do. And you certainly don't treat your other friends this way. So 'fess up, what does that make me?' Ray conveniently skirts around the question, because truthfully, I don't think he has any idea. Not yet anyway. He hasn't bothered to confront 'the why'.

Ray exhibits an avoidant personality type. Possibly due to his mother's death (repression) or due to his crush on Mew (unrequited). He chooses to go with the flow. He acts on impulse. He seems intent on numbing or distracting himself from thinking too much. You could even say this is ignorance by choice. Ray is either knowingly or unconsciously avoiding what this may imply. (Which will relate to the next point). All he's openly acknowledged is that Sand is "fun to talk to", while glossing over mutual attraction under the terms of their so called 'friendship'. As Mew points out - Ray is lonely. Whether he's seeking out Sand specifically or he's just seeking out company in general, isn't something Ray has determined yet.

With this in mind, Ray doesn't mean to hurt Sand with intent, but it's often a consequence of poor judgement. Ray may be a mess but he's shown to at least take his friendships seriously. He apologises when at fault. He knows when to recognise a gesture in good faith, and to return the favour. When he notices Sand is upset or hurt, he looks guilty. He has a conscience. He at least knows Sand doesn't deserve to be hurt by him.

Ray's crush on Mew

This is arguably the biggest reason Ray is blindsided. Until he's able to let go or move on from his crush, he can't face or welcome Sand's feelings. Ray can easily flirt and tease in the name of harmless fun because it doesn't mean anything, right? Why? Because he has already reserved those feelings for someone else. But Sand doesn't know this. He has no idea why Ray is emotionally unavailable to him.

Ray is predisposed to put Mew first. His loyalty to Mew will win out when pitted against Sand. There is every possibility that Ray is stubbornly holding onto his crush out of habit. He vehemently denies anything is going on between him and Sand, almost in a bid to convince himself he can't possibly like anyone more than he likes Mew. But why? Why close yourself off to other good things that may come your way?

The fear of loss. People can be compelled to stick to something despite knowing it's outcome, because the alternative is unknown. Ray has already accepted Mew's rejection of him. He's had time to familiarise himself with it. At least he knows where he stands. Despite not returning his romantic feelings, Mew still cares immensely for him as a friend. Ray highly cherishes that. He's very grateful that Mew is still a part of his life. Tackling a new relationship means subjecting yourself to the fear of rejection yet again and by extension the fear of loss. When Mew comments that Sand seems to be interested in Ray back, he only says "yeah?" vaguely, almost dismissively - as if he's determined not to entertain the idea.

By choosing to honour his feelings for Mew, anything that happens with Sand must and has to fall under the umbrella of 'friendship' by default. When Sand says "You're happy. I'm happy. We don't develop it", Ray suddenly looks uneasy, and follows that with "but I still want to talk to you". He seems worried that Sand might distance himself. He doesn't want to lose this connection but isn't prepared to jeopardise things with Mew. He's visibly relieved (but lucky) that Sand is happy with this arrangement. For now.

The issue comes when this is no longer okay with Sand. If and when the lines continue to get increasingly blurred or their feelings become too great to ignore, Ray will be forced to make a choice. Mew or Sand. It can't be both. Making a choice often means closing the door on the other. If Ray insists on holding onto the claim that they're just friends, that's going to read as flagrant denial or careless deception in Sand's eyes. One is Ray running away and refusing to confront his feelings, the other is actively misleading Sand to think there could be more when he didn't plan to drop his feelings for Mew.

Sand's burden of responsibility

When Sand says "I don't have the right to be upset with you," he's reminding himself that he shouldn't be hurt by Ray passing him up for another friend. Sand can't help feeling disappointed but he's also embarrassed by this fact - for getting his hopes up, for thinking Ray's 'special treatment' of him sets him apart. Sand was willing to stay in his lane. So whenever Ray starts to instigate physical intimacy, it sends Sand's rationale to go momentarily out the window.

The other reason why Sand is going to get hurt is due to his moral code. He's likely to take responsibility or blame for his part in this very personally. For enabling things to happen and develop when he should have put a stop to it for his own good. 'I should have known better', 'I should have seen this coming', 'I didn't control myself'.

Note: Man, was Episode 3 an absolute doozie. I'm still trying to make sense of everything that happened. I have had so many thoughts and it's been really difficult trying to pick apart everything.

[helianthus-tarot]

LOVE: How to make them fall in love with you

This can be applied to any romantic interest, but it's mainly for crush. People deserve to be loved for who they are, however this reading is for those of you who want extra ideas about how to attract your person. Keep in mind, just because you follow the advice it doesn't mean they will definitely fall for you (people have free will and can ultimately decide), and this reading does not say anything about whether the relationship can last or not. Don't use the information to harm anyone, because someone else will do the same thing to you.

I didn't check my grammar. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t; the message may be for someone else, or there may be no message for you in this reading.

Disclaimer: Here | Instagram: Here

Instructions:

Think about your person and focus on the topic. Take your time. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose!

Like my readings? Tip here!

PILE 1

Qualities that you have: Queen of Pentacles (2 of Pentacles)

You are sensible; you probably show your love through acts of service. Practical. Many of you also have some kind of pride in yourself, you know your worth and you don’t have issues acting like it. You don’t necessarily show off your value (what you bring to the table, what you have, what you can do, etc), but I don’t think you would hide it either if someone asked about it.

Qualities that they like in a person: 2 of Cups (The High Priestess)

They like a deep, deep emotional connection. The type of connection where two people are almost telepathically linked, intuitive to each other's needs. Very intimate and almost otherworldly. This person probably likes the idea of having a soulmate. To compare this with the qualities that you have, while you do have that nurturing quality, your brand of femininity is a lot more grounded and less emotionally expressive. Like water and earth are both feminine signs, but earth influence is more practical, strict and direct than water influence.

What you can do: The Empress Rx, Knight of Wands Rx (The Star)

Don’t come into their life acting like a boss bitch; you know that stereotype of an empowered person who knows they are the shit and act like it? There’s nothing wrong with this per se, but this person is more receptive to the idea of a fateful connection; something that is being orchestrated by the Universe, that ���accidentally making eye contact through the gap in a bookshelf and being struck by a sense of familiarity and intrigue” kind of thing. So don’t pursue them boldly. Don’t make your interest very clear. Don’t try to appeal to them by showing off what you have, don’t try to prove yourself, even if it is true that you are a great catch (I’m telling this especially to Leos out there). Don’t act like it. Be humble.

What you should do instead, is plan your encounters like they are destined. "I like this person so I strategically place myself in their life"; showing up at the right place, interacting with them with the right balance between attention and distance, making things look accidental. This is like being friends with your crush’s friend and attending the friend’s soccer game (fully knowing your crush will be there too) and wearing an indie band shirt (the band which your crush likes). And wait, you don’t start the conversation, your crush does. Obviously they won’t be able to stop themselves from pointing it out, because nobody knows that band! And then the crush tells you that the band is set to perform on the weekend in your city? Wow what a coincidence, sounds like a perfect ‘let’s go there together’ idea. I hope you got the picture.

PILE 2

Qualities that you have: 7 of Cups (Judgment)

Do you have Scorpio/Pluto influence? I'm feeling more Scorpio/Pluto but this could also simply be water influence. You have layers to you; depth of experience and feelings. You have probably been through difficult experiences that almost felt like death and rebirth. Your life may be full of stages like this; where something starts and ends with you having to change yourself to survive it. So you may also have multiple sides to you. For example, you have softness to you and yet your words can sting. This is like someone who does charity at an orphanage in the morning and kills criminals at night lol. That polarity, you seem like you have opposite qualities in you but if a person goes deeper, they will be able to see how every side of you connects to one another.

Qualities that they like in a person: 10 of Swords (Page of Wands)

The person you are thinking about probably has Scorpio/Pluto influence too, because this person is attracted to people who have been through hell and back and survived that. Imagine someone being pushed into a well and having to climb back up with dirt and blood under their nails and on their fingers; your person likes that kind of rawness in a person. But they also like it when that persistence / tenacity are accompanied by optimism. The optimism that they like feels more determined, it’s like someone who has rotten luck in life says “this good thing will happen for me” or “I am determined to be happy and no one can change that”. They like people who don’t give up, who continuously move forward no matter what life throws at them.

What you can do: The Hermit Rx, 3 of Swords (3 of Cups)

If you have those qualities, which I think you do, show those qualities to them. I know people who have been through that kind of experience tend to prefer being alone or being a lone wolf. But if you want this person to fall for you, share those parts of you. Show how much pain you have been through. Don’t trauma dump all at once of course, share your story when it is not awkward or sudden to do so. Stand solid in your truth. Share your hope too, the positive things that you still believe in despite those difficult things. Share your deep insights and opinions about life, these things can allude to the pain/challenges you have been through, which is the point.

PILE 3

Qualities that you have: 7 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles (The Chariot)

You have the guts and the persistence to make your dream a reality. You are resourceful; you have the ability to find a way to achieve/build what you want in your life. You also follow your ideal/vision, some people may see it as you following a pipe dream, but to you, what you can imagine/visualize is something that can be real. So you generally behave that way. You are hella persistent with what you want. There are two groups here, some of you are the type to overdo it. And some of you may be a bit sporadic with it and dreamier, since you have a lot of things you want to experience/try, a lot of dreams here. It is giving that “I want to be an artist, I also want to volunteer at an animal sanctuary, I also want to write a book sharing things that can emotionally move people, I want to teach, I want to become this and that” and so on.

Qualities that they like in a person: 2 of Wands (The Lovers)

They like people who really seek to live life; people with a life purpose/vision, people who seek more from this life (more than the material things), people who walk on the path of self-actualization, people who are future-oriented. They like people who seek to better themselves, people who follow their own hearts and have their own opinions about the world. Those people who talk about the meanings of life.

What you can do: Justice, 4 of Pentacles (10 of Cups)

If the first part of this reading resonates with you, keep doing that. But when you approach this person or seek to form a connection with them, keep in mind several things. The first thing is have moral/principle and stick to it, be honorable and treat them fairly. It is something they can respect, it shows that you are intentional in the way you live your life which is what they like. Also when building this connection with them; be reliable, clear and purposeful. Take things step by step, build layer upon layer; be friends first, have a simple interaction first before a deep one, but always be clear with your intention and your end goal. Remember that they like people who are future-oriented, people who think ahead.

Don’t be all over the place, be careful with starting things and not finishing them since this shows that you don’t think things through before you commit yourself. Be unmovable, but don’t be too stubborn to the point that you refuse to see reason. You can show those qualities that they like first (remember to be authentic), and after a while, it may be good if you just straight up confess to them and state your intention (but without pressuring them); eg. "hey, I just want to let you know that I really like spending time with you and I've been interested in you for quite some time now, would you like to go out with me?" something straightforward like that. Have good intention.

PILE 4

Qualities that you have: 9 of Pentacles Rx, 9 of Swords (King of Wands)

You have big desires, and you have the potential to achieve what you want. But at the moment, either you feel like you are not enough, or you have not quite established yourself yet– you have not made your vision a reality. Mostly because you are being held back by your own insecurity and self-doubt. Some of you probably have a low self-esteem, which makes you overthink your abilities sometimes. Imposter syndrome. You are very in your head instead of focusing on the things that matter. You probably have a habit of overthinking about whether you can achieve your goal or not (or whether you deserve to pursue it or not) while not actually doing anything that can practically help you achieve your goal. So as a result, it takes time for you to actually bring your desire/vision to fruition and experience the abundance that you have the ability to create.

Qualities that they like in a person: King of Pentacles (Knight of Wands Rx)

They like stable people. Someone who is reliable in every way, sensible, level-headed. Someone who seeks things that last instead of brief entertainment or things with no future. Someone who can build and bring abundance into their own life. They like people who are not impulsive, people who are capable, measured and composed. People who take life seriously and don’t waste time on things that don’t matter.

What you can do: The Tower (5 of Cups)

If you find the first part resonates, then the advice for you here is you have to change. You have the potential and the ability, I mean, you got 9 of Pentacles and King of Wands despite the reversal. You may want to try getting rid of the things that are holding you back. The 5 of Cups in this deck really reminds me of the "is the glass half empty or half full?" proverb. Is the glass half empty or half full? It depends on how you look at it. So things that may need to be changed here are your mindset, how you interpret a situation/challenge and how you see yourself. After you get over your self-doubt, imposter syndrome, lack of self-worth and so on, you will be able to step into your ability to manifest and make things happen for yourself, which will bring you the abundance that you are very much capable of.

Do this for yourself, really. If this person falls in love with you after your transformation, then good. If not, then you won’t be losing anything much, you will be a better person. I feel like this change that you are advised to undertake has a bigger meaning in your life journey as an individual.

[halfagone]

Is it bad that I don’t necessarily agree with what seems to be a lot of people’s headcanon of Danny not being straight? Obviously people can headcanon whatever they want, but I myself strictly adhere to the rule that if there is no explicit evidence or implications from canon that prove otherwise, that I just assume a character is straight since that’s statistically what is most common?

You had me in the first part but you lost me in the second, unfortunately. You said it yourself, people can headcanon whatever they want. If you prefer him being straight, then that's really up to you! But that last line you just said is a little something called 'heteronormativity' and I'm not going to explain that here.

Moreover, I would definitely say that it can be very tricky to use 'explicit evidence' for reasoning, because it's a very slippery slope.

I'll use some other childrens' cartoons as examples to make my point clear here: In The Legends of Korra, Korra dates only guys for almost the entirety of the show. But in the very last episode, she and Asami become a couple. I know a lot of people say that they just threw that out there, but if you do some research you'll find out that the showrunners fought so hard to get just that scene in the show. If they could, they probably would have added more elements to their relationship and gave them more obvious on-screen chemistry. But they weren't allowed to.

In Voltron: Legendary Defenders, we find out in Season 7 out of 8 that before the Kerberos mission, Shiro had been engaged to a man named Adam. While the two ultimately broke off their engagement because Adam didn't agree with Shiro's decision to go on the mission despite his illness, we do see in the series finale that Shiro gets married to Curtis, who was a member of the Atlas crew.

Probably one of the more famous examples, The Owl House! As we know this is a Disney channel show, but the wonderful creator Dana Terrance made it beautifully, openly queer. And Disney didn't quite like that, so they cancelled the series. After which, the showrunners essentially decided for the final abbreviated season, "Fuck it!" And did whatever they wanted, as far as they were allowed to go.

Dave Filoni has said that he shipped Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee and we could have seen a romance from the pair. (And yes, this does make the betrayal that much worse.) I could use Steven Universe as an example, but I think I've made this section of my point clear here.

We only see one side of the show. We get to see the finished product, not all the hard work the showrunners and writers and artists and producers put into getting what queer representation they could. We probably wouldn't have seen any of this from Danny Phantom as a show, because we all know Butch Hartman is homophobic as fuck, but that doesn't mean there was nothing there that we as a fandom couldn't have taken to mean something else.

In the episode, "One of a Kind", there's a scene where Danny and Tucker are seen cuddling comfortably in each other's embrace. Of course friends can do this too. Hell, they can even be in something called a ✨ queerplatonic relationship ✨ but that is still queer. Even still that can easily be argued that Danny is just as attracted to guys as he is to girls. You never see Danny act like that around Paulina or Valerie while they were dating.

In "Fanning the Flames", Sam kisses Dash to break Danny out of his mind control. Except... This episode's summary explicitly states, "Danny and Sam find their platonic relationship turned forcibly romantic through the powers of Ember..." Over the show's seasons, we do get bits and pieces of evidence that Sam had a crush on Danny, but it's not until "Frightmare", episode 9 of the last season, that we get a scene where Danny realizes he might have a crush on Sam. I'm sure there are other bits and pieces of evidence, Jack had a ring for some reason in "Girls' Night Out". But "Frightmare" is where we get the first evidence of a possible relationship from them, which is a huge deal because this show is primarily from Danny's perspective.

But that is, quite literally, two seasons apart. So who is to say that- that first time Sam kissed Dash- Danny wasn't jealous of Dash but he was jealous of Sam. Here's what I'm talking about: in "Frightmare" we see in Danny's dream sequence that he wanted to be friends with the A-Listers and that's probably primarily because he likes the idea of being popular, yet in that episode and "Attack of the Killer Garage Sale" it's always Dash that Danny wants to impress and please. In the latter's episode's case almost if not equally as much as Danny did with Paulina, a girl he freely shows his crush on. And yet this is the same guy that makes Danny's school life hell and whom Danny antagonizes on many occasions. This could easily be a case of 'pulling someone's pigtails' and considering Dash's admiration of Phantom, that's not hard to believe on his side of things either.

In general, Danny's entire secret identity can just as easily be a symbolism for queer identity. All of Danny's Rogues know who Danny is, what he is, where he lives, and where he goes to school. And yet it's his parents he has to hide himself from. If you switched out the word 'ghost' for 'gay' or 'queer' in some of the Fentons' anti-ghost rhetoric, it would have been unabashed hate speech.

The Danny Phantom phandom has a lot of queer folks. We've done polls, I've seen the numbers. You said it yourself, anyone is free to headcanon what they want. But considering the community, I am not surprised that Danny being anything but straight is so commonly headcanoned. And maybe that's still not for you, but it's not as shocking as you might expect it to be.

Danny is only 14 years old at the start of the series. While we don't know the exact timeline of the series, and how long it's been when the shows ends, we can comfortably put Danny at 15 or even 16 years old at most. But there are plenty of people who don't realize they're gay or lesbian or bi or ace until they're much, much older. Yeah, we didn't get to see that in canon for obvious reasons, but who's to say we can't show that instead?

[avikats66]

Y’all let’s talk about Stolitz. And by talk I mean I’m going to throw this long and extensive analysis at you. Warning for discussion of miscommunication and dubious consent + self esteem issues and self sabotage (pretty canon stuff) ahead:

Stolas didn't initially realize Blitz’s original intentions when they ended up having sex for that first time. It would have only been after Blitz left and he discovered the grimoire gone that he would have realized Blitz only had sex with him in order to take his grimoire. Except that's not quite entirely true. While Blitz definitely seduced Stolas in order to nab the grimoire, he clearly had the opportunity to dupe Stolas and leave him there after he grabbed it. Instead he decided to actually have the sex which Stolas at the time would have thought he was there for in the first place.

This certainly doesn't mean that Blitz had actually been secretly wanting/planning to have sex with Stolas the whole time - it was obviously an extremely unexpected development for him - but that he did choose to do so without Stolas trying to force or extort him in any way. His exact reasons are not explicitly given but can be inferred with reasonable certainty/likelihood. Here's the scenario: we have Blitz about to make off with the grimoire with Stolas (at least seemingly) none the wiser, when Stolas goes and tells him how happy he is that he's doing this and how much it means to him, at this point still believing Blitz had come for the purpose of initiating a sexual/romantic encounter and being ignorant of his actual intentions having been just to steal the grimoire.

Going off of Blitz’s expression we can see he feels bad here. Like wow, this guy genuinely thinks I came here to make moves on him and he is so happy about that, and here I am in actuality just stealing from him. Since I am doing him wrong by stealing from him, I can do him some right by having the great sex that he thinks is happening right now with him. And remember that at this point Stolas himself isn't leveraging this reasoning over Blitz or using it to bargain with him - he has absolutely no idea what's actually going on, after all. The decision Blitz makes to have sex with Stolas at this time is made entirely by himself without any decision-making on Stolas’s part.

So Blitz is feeling a moral obligation (again, coming from his own conscious and not from Stolas trying to influence or guilt trip him) to have sex with Stolas, and also probably an psychological drive to on the basis of emotions like pity and/or empathy. Like this guy is clearly incredibly lonely and horny and will be devastated if Blitz doesn’t have sex with him as he thinks was his intention the whole time. That knowledge and the emotions that knowledge is is apt to provoke can create the desire to do the deed, even if not for the reasons of pre-established mutual attraction and planned activity which is what’s typically behind most instances of consensual sex.

It’s a very natural/human (technically Blitz is a demon but my point still stands given how demons are portrayed to be just like humans when it comes to emotions/intelligence and the capacity to be good and bad and choose to follow their own individual morals) trait to want to do things not because they directly benefit or please us, but because they will those things for others and that makes us feel good - especially if the said thing we do isn’t explicitly negative or unpleasant for us either, as is the situation here. While Blitz certainly didn’t have any personal plans or desires to have sex with Stolas that night, it didn’t seem like something he was actively opposed to or forcing himself to do either. And sex doesn’t necessarily need to have deep and intimate preexisting emotional connection present to be a positive, consensual, and moral experience either.

Of course, there’s also the other underlying factor regarding Blitz’s decision to have sex with Stolas that night, which is that he felt it might be advantageous or even necessary in order to maintain continued access to the grimoire. Again, at this point it would still have been entirely up to Blitz to decide, but it’s a very important factor to consider, especially moving forward as the relationship between the two continues into what we see in the show.

Sometime after that first night, Stolas becomes aware that Blitz has taken his grimoire. Heck, it’s even possible he figured this out during that first night and chose to let Blitz take it. Whatever the case, we don’t know the exact specifics of what went down, just that in the pilot and first episode we see Stolas talking to Blitz about how he’s not actually not supposed to have the grimoire and that he would like to set up an arrangement where he continues to let Blitz keep/use the grimoire and in return Blitz occasionally has amazing sex with him like he did that night.

This is where the consent starts to get (more) muddy and dubious due to the lack of clear communication and resulting misunderstandings. Going over it from the outside, you’d think at this point Stolas would have come to the conclusion that Blitz didn't have any intention of starting a relationship and was just using him with no genuine feelings for him involved, and thus him leveraging the grimoire over Blitz to continue their relationship is just pure extortion. But I don’t that he did, or that it is.

Rather, while Stolas definitely knows that on some levels, the sex Blitz had with him was a practical/transactional action taken to secure use of the grimoire, I think that he also truly believes that there is genuine mutual attraction and affection and want to continue the relationship present between them, and that Blitz knows/believes this as well. I mean, he certainly didn’t force or even plead with Blitz to have sex with him that first time; that was all Blitz’s choice and apparently he made it really good. I’m doubting that at any point that night, Blitz stopped to sit down and say “hey, you know I’m only doing this so I can steal/use your grimoire and I don’t actually feel any attraction towards you or want to start a relationship,” though.

So it’s really not unreasonable that Stolas believes there is something more between him and Blitz, and thus that he’s not blackmailing Blitz to have sex with him using the grimoire, rather that he is more so just negotiating a fair trade between equals. He’s aware of the power imbalance between them in terms of status and the grimoire in theory, but based on his behaviour in canon I don’t think he realizes (or at least not until later during the show as evidenced by him planning to give the crystal) just how impactful that imbalance really is, or that Blitz might actually feel pressured by it in any real way.

At the same time, Blitz is assuming that Stolas is just using him for sex via the leverage of the grimoire and his much higher levels of societal status/power, and that none of the affection or care he shows Blitz is genuine because Stolas understands that Blitz is only using him for the grimoire in return. That last part actually is true on at least some level: Blitz is definitely using his relationship with Stolas to access the grimoire, but I think he’s lying to himself and letting his perception be warped by his trauma and self esteem issues when he claims that there’s nothing more to it.

While he’s shown at times to be exasperated or not really into/put off by Stolas’s horniness (sometimes more so just for comedic effect), we do see him express genuine enjoyment with and care for Stolas throughout the show. It’s not like we’re talking Achilles/Patroclus levels here, but, there is something there on Blitz’s side too. I think the reason Blitz seems unable to properly wrap his head around the fact that Stolas actually genuinely cares for and likes him and that he could actually allow himself to reciprocate those feelings and actions is not just the whole miscommunication thing they’ve got going on as detailed above, but also that Blitz has deep-rooted issues with intimacy and self-esteem.

Blitz has such a low and troubled sense of self worth that he cant seem to fully accept or believe that Stolas would actually care for or like him in any meaningful way for real - especially when combined with the whole grimoire misunderstanding going on and the guilt he likely feels over it in at least some aspects, which is largely why he first had sex with Stolas in the first place. He also definitely seems the type to sabotage his own relationships - likely both on a conscious and unconscious level - due to these feelings of self hate and low worth (I personally believe he did that with Verosika and it was one of the biggest reasons for their breakup and current animosity towards each other) which I have inferred him to have based on canon such as the hallucination he has in Truthseekers).

So Blitz thinks that Stolas thinks that they both know their relationship is just a transaction, a transaction where Stolas definitely has more power, and thus Stolas doesn’t actually care for Blitz or what he wants. That Stolas might sell him out or punish him if he started backing down from their relationship or going too much against or refusing whatever sexual desires Stolas expresses by reporting him to officials or refusing use of the grimoire. And Stolas doesn’t realize that Blitzø thinks this, being himself under the impression that Blitz knows that Stolas does actually care for him and doesn’t want/mean to extort or force him into things he truly doesn’t want with him.

I just want to go over something here now: It’s normal for partners to sometimes do certain things with sex that one party doesn’t particularly enjoy for themselves but chooses to do because they don’t find it overly or particularly unpleasant or unbearable so they want to do it or don’t mind doing it in order to please and give enjoyment to their partner (which in itself can give enjoyment back as I’ve mentioned earlier). As long as there’s clear communication and the ability to set boundaries this is completely normal and fine.

The thing is, we’ve just gone over exactly why there’s a lot of misunderstandings, assumptions, and lack of clear communication going on between Blitz and Stolas. Blitz might possibly be feeling obligated or pressured into having sex with Stolas whenever and however asked due to the grimoire and his knowledge that Stolas could potentially deny him access to it and force him to choose between having sex with him how and when he likes or not having the grimoire (just because someone is okay with/has enjoyed sex with someone in the past does not mean that it’s okay if they are pressured/coerced or forced into having more sex with that same person again when they do not want to) whereas Stolas mistakenly assumes that Blitz knows he wouldn’t try to force or coerce him into sex that he wasn’t ultimately okay with having by using the grimoire as leverage - or any other method - because he doesn’t understand Blitz’s issues with believing/accepting Stolas’s care/affection or fully understand the reality of their power imbalance for himself.

It’s not until Ozzie’s that Stolas really gets that slap-in-the-face wake-up call, but based off the music video and the act of giving Blitz the crystal we can see how genuine and serious he is about this - plus how much he truly loves and cares for Blitz. I could definitely go on about that too, but I think that’s another post!

[sandrayofsun]

This is The Last One *I promise*

ok I seriously swear this is the last one omg

But we're going to tackle my Favorite moment of this whole episode, and one that all of us SandRay fans have been waiting for!!

Let's finish strong!!

----------------------

I'm living for the candid conversations that are happening on this getaway because seriously they would not have even admitted they found each other attractive in the first three episodes and now they're talking about what would have happened if Ray had died.

I wonder if Sand is sort of beginning to see part of Ray's insecurity towards how people view him in this conversation. Sand doesn't think Ray is necessarily a shitty person (even though he can be a bit of an asshole), so it is interesting to see that Ray thinks his friends wouldn't mourn him because they view him as shitty.

This bit was so cheesy and romantic and I LOVED it. It's important for Sand to realize that Ray has taken off the rose colored glasses for Mew, and is seeing the real world and the realness that is Sand's love for him.

I know a lot of people have been saying that Ray only went after Sand because Mew didn't want him. But I think Ray went after Sand because he realized he was wasting his time on someone he doesn't even feel much for anymore. He couldn't waste another second letting Sand slip through his fingers.

This was just fucking hot I don't even know what else to say.

Ok I'm kidding, I think this scene was beautiful, and it captured the build up of feelings from both of them. Ray wanting someone who can take care of and love him. Sand wanting to be loved and take care of someone.

First and Khaotung have got to be a little bit in love with each other because people do not have this much chemistry, and not have some sort of feelings for each other I mean seriously.

This little cheek kiss moment just blew everything out of the park. It felt very much like a silent promise and reassurance. Ray telling Sand that he is here with him, he's chosen him, and he chose with his heart and not the expectations he used to have.

This whole episode was a 10/10 and I'm so happy they at least had one episode of momentary happiness.

Until next week...

We still have the apartment scene to look forward to, which I'm guessing is tied to whatever Ray's dad asked of Sand (eek) but I still have hope that whatever fight they have, it'll make them stronger and they'll come out together in the end!

If you by any chance read all four posts, I salute you (you're sexy and hot).

If not here they are (part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

See you guys next week!!

[gh0st-t0wn3]

D'you think red son has "icks" or nah, if yes which do you headcanon him to have?

Sorry this took so long, I genuinely wasn't sure how to answer. From what I read, icks are things that make someone less attractive/desirable, right? (I genuinely didn't know what an ick was before this ask, I've heard the term before but I never really understood it, which is why this took so long to answer)

Okay, here's a list of things I came up with, they aren't very much though.

If his partner:

• Has poor hygiene or grooming habits; Redson is a prince, he has expectations set for himself and his partner, now this doesn't necessarily mean that they have to be tidy or dressed up 24/7 but they do have to meet a certain standard. He would definitely worry about Wukong's poor hygiene/grooming habits rubbing off on MK.

• Is disrespectful or rude towards him or others; He knows that MK is a nice person but that doesn't mean he's had other suitors who acted the same, he's definitely met some rude people in the past who were trying to win his hand, but their poor manners towards both him and the people around him (for example, his parents, even if they were never rude to his parents' faces) easily turned him away from their romantic advances.

• Is arrogant or self-centered; as hypocritical as it might sound, given Redson's own arrogant personality, he actually doesn't want to be around someone with the same behavior as him. Redson (even in canon) is quite insecure and has seemingly become arrogant and self centered as a result of his up-bringing and need to impress his family in order to feel as if he deserves their appreciation and attention as well as hiding his vulnerabilities, being around someone who's arrogant simply because they think they're better then everyone else (with no redeeming qualities), and who only cares for their own happiness and material things more than even their partner, couldn't make them more unattractive in his eyes, he needs someone with a softer personality who can help balance out his rough edges.

• Is overly possessive or controlling; Redson doesn't want to be with someone who'll try to control his every move, he needs his time alone and he needs to be able to do things without someone constantly hovering over his shoulder and telling him what to do (lord knows he already experiences this enough with his parents' controlling behavior).

• Doesn't appreciate him or his work; like I said before, Redson already doesn't get enough appreciation from his parents in regards to his work (the Bull clones, his machines and vehicles, the glove that literally LIFTED WUKONGS STAFF AND FREED DBK FROM HIS 500 YEAR IMPRISONMENT), he needs a partner who'll appreciate his work, who'll give him the praise for his work that he's been missing for hundreds of years, if he were to start a relationship with someone only for them to dismiss or ignore his genius, he'll be quick to end things between them.

(Sorry if this answer was disappointing, I really wasn't sure how to answer it, but if you have any more questions, about Redson or anyone else, that I will hopefully have better luck providing a satisfying answer for, I'd love to hear 'em :) )

[mikesbasementbeets]

i’ve been thinking a lot about elmax recently and how it seems like the show is genuinely setting them up romantically, while also consistently establishing max and lucas as a romantic pair

keep in mind, this is the show that has been setting up byler since season 1. they seem to know what they’re doing when it comes to queer coding, so i refuse (for the purposes of this analysis at least) to believe they’re unaware of what they’ve been doing so heavily and blatantly with elmax, and also with max in particular (el too, but i’m focusing on max).

i've talked about why i think mike wheeler is gay. this is why i think max mayfield is bi. and elumax should be endgame.

queer coding of max mayfield

right off the bat: her name. max. just like el was at first, due to her shaved head, max is mistaken for a boy by those who don't know her. first the party, who see the name madmax at the arcade, and later dr. owens in season 4 (he might even assume that she's el's boyfriend). when she's first introduced by mr. clarke using her full name, maxine, she quickly corrects him. it's max.

this leads into the larger point of queer coding around max. her androgynous fashion sense, the way she carries herself, distancing herself from performative femininity, ie, playing video games ("girls don't play video games,"), skateboarding, making friends with an all male friend group, her general "tomboyish" presentation and attitude - all of it reads as heavily queer coded to me. i'm not saying that any of these things is necessarily queer, or mean that a person in real life is queer, but the way it all comes together in max feels like a purposeful character choice.

i'm not an expert in queer coding so there's probably a lot i'm missing, but one of the biggest signs for me is max's constant association with rainbows. the other characters have their color palettes, and max has rainbows. literally. as many times as mike and will have been coded with rainbow imagery, max is drowning in it.

and then there's the most important piece of queer coding... her relationship with el. i'll come back around to that though, because i want to talk about boys first. because clearly, max does like boys.

this shot is largely played for comedic relief, but it actually does something important for the narrative i think. it establishes again, with a max that has (once again) broken up with lucas for reasons she doesn't seem to have really explained, that max is attracted to men. my optimistic reading of it is honestly, "hey, we know what we've been doing here with max, so just in case you were thinking she's a lesbian... she's not." ...or if you want a different fun read of it... max realized she likes girls recently (i'll get to that) and is just making sure she still likes boys. ladies dig it? do they steve? oh, wait, yeah.

she's also talked about other boys with el in the past, showing pretty unambiguous interest in them

(these scenes are still so gay though seriously... "you must be an angel".... contrasting milven's scene where el didn't like mike's singing... rainbowsrainbowsrainbows... talking about kissing and then emulating a spin the bottle game, later introducing el to wonder woman while they're in bed together, waking up together always rainbows come ON)

and of course, the other most important part of this, her relationship with lucas, which is shown continuously to be one of real, romantic attraction. in season 2, this was mostly established through contrast with her relationship with dustin, who also had a crush on her. max and lucas start off by becoming close as friends, and then begin to develop a romantic connection. max and dustin, meanwhile, are established several times as not clicking in the same way that max and lucas do. they have heart-to-hearts that feel intimate and genuine, and, as steve and dustin discuss, are layered with the kind of "electricity" that denotes mutual attraction.

at the same time though, while we understand that it's genuine on both sides, we're shown that max and lucas' relationship is far from perfect.

for a couple that reads as endgame and has parallels with several of the other endgame couples, they also parallel a lot of the obviously not endgame couples. i'm gonna come back around to that too. first, the other thing.

romantic coding of elmax

elmax. honestly, i can't even get into everything i want to, because it's literally everything about them.

first of all, the start of their friendship is byler romantic coded

"i just walked up to you and i asked... it was the best thing i've ever done."

this sequence in particular though. this is. so bi coded i'm going insane. (also rainbows rainbows rainbows)

not hopper, not mike. you. (there's more to life than stupid boys. *HOLDS HER HAND*)

the next sequence is also pretty gay imo but is also kinda just gals being pals, so i'm gonna focus on the song, Material Girl by Madonna. this is definitely meant to be about eleven here, finding herself, away from mike (and it's also just a great shopping montage song), but the shot layout also subtly indicates that it applies to max and lucas too.

"some boys hug me, some boys kiss me, i think they're okay." and what about girls, max? what do you think of them? el? opinions?

(the clothes are emulating a literal rainbow flag behind her ok red yellow blue green purple and max is the orange she's part of the flag like shut UP i can't do this anymore)

and. okay. look, i'm not going to fully explain this one but i need to point it out.

getting back at the straight girl bullies (shown flirting with a boy) in front of a burger king. max taking off her sunglasses (we've talked about the symbolism of mike's shades in season 4) as they run away holding hands. taco bell coming soon. "there's more to life than stupid boys." like. am i reading way too much into this? (yes)

even back to their first meeting though, i'm seeing the seeds being planted. go ahead and read this as purely platonic admiration if you want, i don't care, but there's no way in my mind, especially after seeing seasons 3 and 4. like imagine you're a young bi teenage girl who's been hearing stories about this awesome girl with superpowers who saved everyone's life and then mysteriously disappeared, and then she suddenly mysteriously reappears, saves your life too, and walks in looking like this

personally, my tiny gay heart would stop.

yeah

but let's actually move on to season 4 for a minute.

season 4 was setting up canon bisexual max

i'm going to argue something here that i don't have a ton of actual evidence for: i think one of the reasons max broke up with lucas after season 3 is that she realized her feelings for el. max's arc in season 4 is all about her dealing with the trauma of last season, and guilt for her role in what happened. the guilt is extremely important to this. it's a big part in why vecna chooses his victims: not just kids with trauma, but kids who feel shame surrounding their trauma. most of that for max obviously has to do with billy's death. but i think there's something else that max is dealing with too.

as soon as i started season 4 i was struck with strong “queer max” vibes. first of all, her more feminine and rainbow splashed outfits from season 3 have been replaced again with the more tomboyish, androgynous style of season 2. and then there's the first sequence we get to running up that hill (which starts, funnily enough, on a scene of el walking down the hall at school, upset). the first time i watched this i was literally shocked because it read so explicitly queer to me.

first, max looks at group of girls (thinking about el, most likely)

her gaze trails after them, and then, next shot, max looks at a couple kissing

and then max looks at lucas

only after watching it again did i realize it didn't necessarily have to be queer coding (if you take it as max missing her friend and then, separately, her ex-boyfriend) but holy shit, if that's what they meant, they did NOT have to put the couple making out in between those two shots, with further shots of max looking away almost guiltily. we all know that lucas was max's boyfriend. they didn't have to precede that shot of him with the shot of the couple. that's already their established dynamic (and we haven't even learned at this point that they've broken up).

what's not been established yet though, is the idea of max and el as a couple. and i think..... that's possibly what's being hinted at here through max's perspective. the sequence of shots is so telling: 1. girl friends, 2. couple kissing, 3. ex-boyfriend. guilt. what i'm getting from this sequence of shots is that max's friendship with el is something she's thought about in a romantic light. max is making this association. and feeling guilty about it when she looks at lucas. whom, despite their closeness still at the very end of season 3, months after starcourt, she has since broken up with. the reason the show establishes for this is that max has been pulling away from everyone since billy's death, dealing with the fallout in her family, her mother's emotional absence and alcoholism, etc, and her own grief, guilt, and trauma around it. that makes perfect sense, and i'm not saying it's not true. but i think el moving away was also a factor.

it wasn't until season 4 that max was shown to have really pulled away, after el moved to california. maybe it's a reach, maybe it's nothing, but max as a character is so similar to mike, who was shown to have exactly this response to the byers' moving away: isolating himself and pushing away his friends, suffering his depression alone, and talking to no one about it. meeting el in season 3 showed us a new, bubbly happy side to max (that, yes, probably also came from the rest of her friendships and lucas, but el's is the one we were shown). max and el spend almost the entire season together, and max is undoubtedly going to be affected by her best friend moving away. especially if, like mike, it feels like she's losing more than a friend.

it's not just those shots though. when lucas tries to talk to her later, telling her he knows something's wrong... as soon as she turns around, there's a rainbow.

"right, yeah, there must be something wrong with me because i broke up with you."

then in dear billy, lucas confronts her again. and the language reminds me of karen's speech to mike in season 1. and jonathan's to will in season 4. "you know you can talk to me, right? i'm here for you."

guilt and shame are a big part of max's plot this season. the two characters most associated with that for max are billy and vecna - max feeling guilt over billy, and vecna using that guilt against her.

and those scenes also feel intentionally queer coded to me.

and then there's the dear billy flashback sequence.

while she's trying to escape vecna using her happiest memories, max is also comparing her relationships with lucas and el. they are both friendships. and they are both romantic. she thinks of them in alternating flashbacks. lucas, then el, then lucas and dustin, then el, then max's face, then lucas and dustin, then el, then max's face, and then this particular sequence: lucas, el, mike.

this may a reach, but... if she has feelings for el, she's probably feeling guilty around mike, too. this is the only shot of mike in the sequence. after this, in quick succession, it's lucas, then lucas, then lucas, and then el.

then lucas, then lumix snowball kiss, then max's face, then high fiving el, then her eyes open, and she breaks free

there are more shots of lucas than of el, but that's just the thing: max keeps trying to just think of lucas (because, as shown by the shot of mike, the way she's thinking about el makes her feel guilty, which is the opposite of what she wants), but el keeps coming back in. she thinks of her first kiss with lucas, and then thinks of high fiving el after they "dumped their asses." and that's the shot that breaks her out.

(and the song itself? 1. birthdaygate coded, 2. ROMANTIC. baby, darling, angel. you must be an angel. the voice of an angel saving victor creel from henry, el saving max. i'm reaching again. but. seriously.)

and then the flashbacks in episode 9 (and i'm not even touching el's flashback montage here). it's so difficult to be brief about this because they're literally doing SO MUCH here. i'm might have to make a separate post with every shot in this sequence because it's so good. (edit: here)

literally just. go back and watch the entire thing if you need to, but i need to go through this. elmax is unbelievably romantic coded this episode. there is no getting around it.

max chose the snow ball as her happy memory to hide from vecna in, but it didn't work. when vecna finds her, he says, "you can't hide from me, max." max turns around and, with a determined look, closes her eyes. closing her eyes almost seems like she's trying to keep hiding, but facing the door where venca is feels more like defiance. she's not going to try to hide anymore...

in the first shot, she spins the bottle in her mind, and her memories flicker from her first time meeting lucas, to the movies with lucas, to the start of her friendship with el, back to the spinning bottle, and then. the last two shots repeat. movie date with lucas, el approaching her in the street. but the lucas shot flickers shorter, and the el shot lingers, and then it's max's mom tying her hair too tight for the snow ball.

like maybe... this wasn't her at her happiest. forced conformity is killing the kids, right?

and the bottle flickers in again and it's el. it's max dancing in el's room, you must be an angel...

and then we come back to max's face and there are rainbows reflecting in the light

"is mike a good kisser?" el laughing, more rainbows

after that, she gets distracted by vecna and broken out of her memories, and when el shows up, max asks,

"are you real? did i make you?" she was thinking so strongly of her memories with el, she thought that it had worked.... and everything is romantic coded, there's nothing even to argue for here, it's just. there. seriously, like. just watch the episode. it's elmax.

after this the focus goes back to el mostly and it's still extremely romantic but i can't get into it anymore, i need to focus on max.

the way it all ends brings me back to the elumax question again. because right here, i'm clearly seeing elmax/byler vs. lumix/milven. paralleling mike's love monologue failing to help el, lucas' protection, both physically and in her mind, was not enough to save max.

that was el. that was el that saved her. (of course, she saves your life because of "friendship")

el's love for max is what saved her. not mike. not lucas. elmax.

going back to the latter half of season 3... el and max's relationship progressed very quickly through shared trauma, and max is the one there for el all season... and when billy dies, el is the one who holds her.

season 3 also made it clear that max's relationship with lucas wasn't without flaws.

all of the romantically inept things that mike was doing with el? lucas was doing them first, max was breaking up with him, and lucas was later advising mike on how to fix it. and especially by the end of the season, max seems much more like she's in el's corner than lucas'.

why i think it's possible max and lucas might end up as friends

after she's broken up with him in season 4, lucas spends most of the time just trying to be her friend again. he doesn't even seem bothered by their breakup (although we don't know how long ago it was), he seems to really just want her in his life again, to talk to him.

and, yes, they spend season 4 rebuilding the relationship in a way i think would be beautiful to see work out romantically. but i don't think it's inevitable. (remember that they also rebuilt stency this season.... as much as they might like each other, we've been shown in past seasons that their romantic relationship was flawed.)

i wish i could get into all the parallels, because they're the biggest part of what confuses me on the show's endgame goals but i really can't because it would take up an entire post. the duffers love parallels, obviously, it's one of their main narrative techniques at this point. and i think they usually work really well, because they're not trying to show that each of these characters or couples is exactly the same. they use parallel situations to exemplify the small details that make each character and relationship unique.

for example, milven and stency often parallel each other, but they're not quite the same. i don't think mike ever had genuine romantic feelings for el. he thought he liked her, but ultimately he's gay. nancy, on the other hand, did genuinely have a crush on steve (hc her as a lesbian if you want, i fully support that, but i think the show thinks she likes boys). that is the show's example of a teenage crush that sparks and then fizzles, not turning into deeper love.

whereas lumix, which also sometimes parallels these two ships (for example, their habit of sitting across from each other rather than beside. not always though... they're inconsistent), i believe is an example of a love that is real and genuine... but might not be meant to last forever. because in addition to those other two, they also parallel byler, jopper, and jancy, which i believe are endgame ships.

to be honest... all of this makes me believe even more firmly in gay mike too. because unlike mike’s complete lack of romantic feeling for el, or nancy's naive crush on steve, this is a narrative that sets up genuine, but possibly not everlasting love. a bi character discovering her sexuality by falling for her best girl friend while she’s dating a guy she also really likes. i think lucas is max’s first love, but not her only.

however

all this said, i also think it's very likely that lucas and max will end up together, and el might end the show on her own. lucas and max are NOT milven or stency, and whatever flaws they have don't necessarily spell out a doomed relationship. there's a lot of good there too, i just didn't get into it here.

and el's whole character arc has been about family, friends, and finding herself outside of other peoples' influence. i think this could still work if she were with max, since max has always been the most supportive of el's independence and self-fulfillment, but i can really see the show ending with el on her own, and it being a natural and positive conclusion to her journey

either way though, i think with everything they've been doing, they might actually confirm in canon that max and el have romantic feelings for each other (...or indicate it so obviously that they think it’s undeniable and then later confirm in interviews when most viewers don’t get it because they’re too subtle for their own good)

anyway, here's how elumax can still happen

look, i don't really trust the show to be able to pull this off, mostly because it just. isn't something that's done. not in popular media like this. but honestly, it's hard for me to grasp all of this because it feels like the show is telling me that max belongs with both el and lucas. i think most people assume she will end up with lucas after the way their relationship was rebuilt in season 4, and i think that absolutely makes sense. but i truly think elmax has been built up just as much, just a lot more subtextually. it's just that no one expects it to actually happen. 1, because lumix not ending up together would feel pretty disappointing after all this build up, and we don't want to see lucas, who truly loves max, end up alone. especially when max loves him too. and 2, because of heteronormativity - most people assume elmax are only being set us as friends, regardless of whether they're picking up on the romantic coding. and the "norm" is one romantic partner per person. but max needs el just as much as she needs lucas, and the ending season 4 proved that. lucas holding max in his arms, thinking he's alone with her, but then we see that el is actually there too. right alongside lucas. el saved max's life after she died in lucas's arms.

i could just give up and assume that elmax is platonic and they're giving max both a romantic and a platonic love story, but as i've already talked about, max is queer, and her dynamic with el is romantic. (theres so much evidence of this from el's side too that i just didn't get into)

going into season 5, max is in a coma. we already know that lucas is spending his time at her bedside. and i think it's fair to assume, based on el's priorities after the pizza dough freezer, ignoring mike completely to stay with max and lucas, and to revive max, she's going to be very focused on max too.

this is already way too long but i'm almost done, i want to briefly talk about lucas and el's dynamic from season 1. of all the party members, lucas was the most skeptical and deeply wary of eleven. he didn't trust her, and she ended up inadvertently hurting him when he fought with mike. but over the course of the season, they both learned to trust each other, having moments together than felt just as important as el's friendship with mike.

if season 5 is a return to season 1 dynamics, especially seeing the way season 4 left these two characters (sharing the same priority - max), i think lucas and el will spend a decent amount of time in season 5 together, or at least share a plotline (around max?). now that they're finally being given the chance to actually spend time together, i can see them growing much closer next season, maybe even leading to a mutual understanding and acceptance of both of their feelings towards max (maybe even falling in love?). and if max wakes from her coma to discover that the guilt and shame she's been suffering around her feelings for these two people is actually unnecessary, and that they can all be happy with each other, in whatever way they decide, even if other people might not understand?

*slides the duffers $5*

that would be an absolutely iconic ending.

[belphegorbillickin]

Dealbreakers For The Brothers & Side Characters

(TW): General mentions of abusive relationships and behaviors

You can also read this AO3 here!

If you're very sensitive you might want to skip this one tbh. This isn't saying anyone with these traits deserves to rot alone, I myself fit some of them. They're just things I see as incompatibilities or pet peeves.

This about romantic relationships first and foremost, but nearly all of them apply to friendships as well. I didn't bother writing the same basic dealbreakers nearly all people have unless it was uniquely important.

Lucifer:

Someone who's out to hurt his brothers or at least doesn't care about their well-being at all is a definite deal breaker for Lucifer. Lucifer may struggle with favoritism and "tough love" even by demon standards, but nearly every single action he's taken since the fall has been for his family. They might not have always been smart or kind choices, but he kept their safety in mind every step of the way. Lucifer will not tolerate anything that might complicate that regardless of how attached to you he or his brothers become. Even going too far in bullying or using Mammon is off limits. That's his punching bag most loyal and trusted brother after all. He won't hesitate to separate you two if he thinks you've become too cruel. Lucifer has never been afraid to be the scapegoat and he's certainly not going to start now. Did you really think you would be able influence a centuries old demon's entire life's motivation just because of a little attraction? How arrogant, it's almost enough to make even The Avatar of Pride laugh. Trying to humiliate him is another deal breaker. I don't mean like giving him a cutesy nickname or something, but coming in with intention of "breaking" or "humbling" him. Obviously that's abusive in any situation, but it's especially painful for The Avatar of Pride to fall for someone like that. Devolving into pettiness and getting obsessed with "getting him back" for every slight isn't going to work out either. He doesn't mind a little pettiness, but there shouldn't be any actual hurt feelings. His pride is just as enforced as Mammon's greed or Leviathan's envy. It's not something even he could change. Constantly ignoring his boundaries to "get punished" or "because it's cute" will soon fall under this category as well regardless of how much he loves brats otherwise. Especially if it involves ruining his work or belongings. There's a reason he distances himself from Diavolo, and you don't have the ability to blackmail or physically force him like he does. You're only going to get the same treatment he does or worse.

Mammon:

Treating him like he's and idiot or beneath you will prevent him from gaining any affection for you. As will using him for money, he's got a ton of other humans already doing the exact same thing. He loves his brothers sure, but you aren't one of them and he doesn't necessarily love that about them. You don't have the same circumstances or history and he sure as hell ain't using them as a basis for his romantic relationships. Even doing it in a "cutesy" way or because you find it endearing will eventually get to him. He doesn't hate being called cute, he loves it really, but Mammon hates being patronized even if it's out of love and it's not up to you where the line is. He's the second strongest and Lucifer's most trusted brother for a reason y'know? Not taking things seriously doesn't mean he's incapable of doing said things. You're supposed the one person he doesn't have to deal with this from, not the worst one of the bunch. Someone trying to change him falls under this too. He knows he has room for improvement, but there's no way he's going to turn into a significantly different person. Complaining excessively about him to the others counts for both points as well. Take him or leave him as he is. Otherwise I feel like Mammon is the most forgiving so long as you treat him with kindness and respect. He's more like the kind of person who should have more dealbreakers in order to avoid unhealthy relationships.

Leviathan:

Honestly if he likes you enough I could see him accepting a lot of bad behavior and possibly even emotional abuse due to his low self-worth, but of all things I think it'd be someone that has difficulty prioritizing him. Especially someone who has trouble saying no or being honest.

It'd lead to break down in trust to the point where he'd never be able to tell if you really like doing anything with him.

Or if you're just too scared to hurt his feelings or taking pity on him. Levi also knows he has a tendency to guilt trip and he worries that it's been too effective with someone like that.

He's an antisocial shut-in who in all likelihood is autistic imo, he may have a knack for manipulation (like most demons) but genuine social interactions are difficult for him to confidently understand.

Eventually he'd always assume you're lying because he's not confident he can tell the difference, causing him to lash out in frustration, hurt, and jealousy.

As bad as it is normally it becomes much worse when you hang out with anyone else, even his brothers.

He starts to assume you'd do anything anyone tells you to, including cheating on him. Obviously The Avatar of Envy doesn't deal with that in the healthiest way.

Someone who pretends to like people when they don't, gives compliments they don't mean, talks behind people's backs, or spreads nasty gossip would also trigger this response in him eventually. Even when it's with the best intentions, in fact it might actually be worse. He'd become paranoid you're doing the same to him behind his back and wouldn't trust you.

Someone that's constantly going out of the house to hang out with other people without texting him for hours or letting him know when you'll be home makes incredibly anxious as well.

You can think that's ridiculous and unhealthy, and you might not be wrong, but nothing you can say to him will change how he feels about it. You'll just have the same conversation and attempts to comfort him over and over again until one of y'all snaps.

I could see some of the other brothers being poly under certain conditions, but even bringing it up with Leviathan would lead to a huge TSL quiz style meltdown.

It doesn't matter how much you explain it has nothing to do with him personally. Even if that's true the thought of anyone else interacting with you that way makes him murderous.

The only way I could see it not leading as potentially violent meltdown was if you were adding him to an already established relationship. 

Even then I fully believe he would eventually try to break everyone up and need to be the favorite, becoming increasingly greedy and jealous the more attention he gets.

Again he's the literal embodiment of jealousy, it's like telling to Beel to fast for months in front of a full course buffet of his favorite foods.

Even if he wants to fight it (and the fact that he typically turns his jealousy inwards shows that he does) it's well established in canon that part of their sin-related impulses are essentially magically enforced.

Levi appreciates you trying to help him be happier, but going into the relationship expecting to change him is a hard pass. Especially if the things you're trying to change are directly related to his autism, even if you don't realize they are.

Even if it's with relatively good intentions no amount of you complimenting him is going to cure or even significantly reduce his anxiety, or make him a social butterfly, and it especially won't lessen his jealously.

If anything once you're truly cemented as "his" there's going to be a huge increase in jealous behavior regardless of how hard you try to avoid it.

Dismissing his anxiety isn't going to do you any favors either. Acting like he's just being difficult or just needs a pep talk is not going to endear him to you.

Neither is trying to keep him from leaving when he's overwhelmed or constantly pushing his boundaries.

Patronizing him and talking to him like a child because of it will just lead to him feeling humiliated and angry. He's literally the admiral of the Devildom navy and older than your entire family tree, he's not helpless nor is he a child.

This, of course, includes trying to get him to stop watching anime or playing video games. Levi has so few things he enjoys in life and he's certainly not going to let you take this away from him.

Even consistently interrupting him regardless of how affectionate you're being really annoys him. Especially if it's at a key point, it just shows you don't respect his time or hobbies.

Trying to significantly decrease the time he spends doing that or spending money counts as well. Again, he's a centuries old Demon Lord in charge of the navy, he can handle his own money unlike someone, kthxbye.

Of course, acting ashamed of him is the best way to singlehandedly crush all of his self-esteem and make him refuse to believe you could ever like him.

Not liking PDA is one thing, but hesitating to introduce him as your boyfriend? Refusing to be seen with him until he goes to Majolish for a makeover? Trying to hide your face or telling him to stop bringing attention to you by getting excited when looking at Ruri-chan merch? Yeah, he's never going to believe you love him again.

Purposefully making him jealous for whatever will also lead to a significant, if not complete, loss of trust.

Especially considering it heavily implies a constant need for attention regardless of who you hurt, considering Levi would already be considered way too jealous even by demon and most yandere standards.

Satan:

I don't think I have to say it, but of course acting like he's Lucifer's clone is a huge no, like instant death kind of no. We all know they're similar in some aspects, just be respectful and tactful about his biggest insecurity, okay? I believe Satan is the least in denial about his status as a demon and acts as logically as possible. Naturally he values the ability to act logically in a partner as well. Anti-intellectualism leaves him this close to throttling you into a bloody pulp every time you open your mouth. If the literal Avatar of Wrath can control his emotions then you obviously aren't trying hard enough. (His words not mine, empathy is not his forte.) Even something like constantly derailing to make jokes in a serious conversation because you don't want to hear the truth has Satan gritting his teeth and bloodying his palms. God Satan forbid you hit him or even someone else with a "It's not that deep," while he's talking. Especially if he was trying to bond with you by discussing something, even if it was a joke. Satan will literally butt into a complete stranger's argument with another stranger to lecture them about letting their emotions keep them from the truth with zero shame (or self-awareness.) You are not an exception, rather he expects more of a potential friend and partner. The other major deal breaker is someone that would try to downplay the chances or impact of him potentially lashing out at you. Besides playing into anti-intellectualism it really pisses Satan off when people act they know him better than he knows himself, especially a clueless human who didn't even know Devildom existed not too long ago. Trying to say something like you "know that he'll never hurt you" or to not worry about it and etc. will leave him seriously reconsidering his choice to pursue you. Saying things like you “love him enough to tolerate it” or saying you can change him and deal with it until he’s better for ex. after he hurts you, intentionally or otherwise, would lead to him not even wanting to be friends you any longer. It's not that he wants you to leave when something like that happens, but just take it for what it is and be smart about it instead of trying to minimize or justify it. He rarely feels guilt of any kind, but the more he likes you the more he intends to keep you safe by any means possible. (Yes, he knows he sounds like Lucifer and it kills him inside.)

Asmodeus:

Someone who quietly goes along with something they aren't comfortable with and then complains about it or tries to use it against him really tests his patience. *Adding in a few lines because someone took this the wrong way, this is specifically about non-sexual things! Like saying you love going to clubs when you're overstimulated because you don't trust him to go alone and be faithful. Or saying you're okay with him being flirty with everyone like he always is and then getting jealous and angry at him without telling him why.*

Especially if he has to find out indirectly through someone else. You can tell someone else, but not the one you're supposed to love and trust the most? If he has to ask if you're sure ten times in a row just for you to still complain afterwards he's going to give up on you. His skin does not need this senseless stress. He can understand being nervous, but he can't do anything if you don't communicate. Yes, he can read people rather well, but that's not an excuse to refuse to be anything but voluntarily helpless. Asmodeus also understands if you're a bit insecure about living up to his past partners, but constantly dropping everything to comfort you will start to get old eventually. He's not going to change everything about himself, who he hangs out with, what he owns, and what he says to make you feel better. You knew what you were getting into, he never promised you anything different.

Beelzebub:

Trying to harm Belphie is the fastest way to get absolutely wrekt by Beelzebub with zero hesitation. You don't have to like Belphie, but you do have to tolerate him. You cannot try to separate the two even "for Beel's own good." It doesn't matter how much he loves you, you'll never be above or be able to come between his twin and literal other half. Y'know the one he sacrificed Lilith for? The one he literally shares his psychic bond with? The one he was ready to fight the vastly stronger Lucifer (whom he also loves) over even after he was freed? He feels bad about what happened, he really does. It haunts him to this day thinking about what if he had to choose again, but if you're actively harming Belphie in any way he's showing you no mercy. The only reason you were able to be that close to him in the first place was because you decided to help his family, and you'd better not forget that. You also have to be very careful bringing up Lilith and her death. Jokingly, or worse still, seriously, asking if Beelzebub will "pick you" this time would really hurt him and cause him to break up with you immediately. He's also not a fan of you acting jealously towards Lilith.  It's one thing to feel worried and insecure shortly after the reveal, but acting like his own sister is even remotely close to a romantic rival? No, absolutely not. Beelzebub's also not a fan of being treated like he's "too stupid" to understand anything. Sure, he's a bit naïve and very trusting of his brothers. Sure, he has a tendency to tune out or not bother thinking about things he has no interest in. But that doesn't mean he's a child or incapable of taking care of himself. He's not incapable of making his own decisions and he has the final say over his own actions. Don't think he can't tell when you're patronizing him, he can. He just prefers not to make a fuss over it most times. Unless of course, you start doing it too often. Poking fun at or confirming his insecurities is a no in general. Acting like he's embarrassing in public or even slightly implying he's useless or not smart enough is going to really hurt him.

Belphegor:

Insulting Beelzebub and Lilith, belittling or trying to make him forget Lilith's death, or especially trying to harm Beel, even emotionally are surefire ways of getting Belphie to snap. There's not much to say about it really, he'll instantly hate you for good if he doesn't murder you again right then and there. There's nothing you can do to change that. Otherwise he's also not a fan of someone trying to change him, especially yelling at him for things he can't change. He understands getting annoyed at him for always asking you to get things for him, but acting like he can just choose to not fall asleep is a no.  Complaining about missing a special date is one thing, but getting angry every time he falls asleep during a movie or while cuddling? Yeah, you're going to need to date someone else because he physically cannot change that regardless of how desperate for attention you are. Same goes for someone consistently trying to wake him up for no reason at all, it's not cute. Lucifer's reveal helped, but people putting their own reputation or appearance over their loved ones is still a huge sore spot for Belphie. Especially if you try to get him or Beel to change their appearance and/or behavior. Pretending you're not with Beelzebub because he's going on a rampage for example is going to make Belphie dump you instantly. Even constantly refusing to let him lean on you or hold your hand in public when you're fine with it at home is going to get on his nerves. (Not that there's anything wrong with not liking pda, but Belphie will be Belphie.) Same with acting drastically different in front of Diavolo and constantly telling him "not to make a scene" for reasons other than his or your own safety. Belphie would sacrifice everything and everyone for you and Beel, but you care more about what people think than how he feels? That's not gonna fly.

Diavolo:

Diavolo has surprisingly few dealbreakers for a future king, but he hates liars. Especially when he can't tell exactly what they're lying about. He's not fond of manipulative personalities either, despite being incredibly manipulative himself.  Even when it's to protect yourself Diavolo has difficultly emphasizing due to his privileged upbringing, being incredibly strong and influential nearly all his life. He also feels like you're refusing to tell the truth because you don't trust him not to punish you for it, which he considers ridiculous as he always happily ignores everyone's complaints and lack of consent. He likes MC specifically because they aren't trying to gain access to his power or wealth. Someone who shows even a hint of gold digging is going to fall down the list incredibly fast. As is someone that always sees him as the future king first, and Diavolo the demon second. Someone who consistently ignores his texts and calls would really hurt his feelings. A delayed response is one thing, but always responding late enough that it's impossible to do whatever it is that he wanted isn't going to get past him.  He understands he can be a little pushy (understatement of the century,) but he would much rather have you tell them him no than leave him waiting anxiously for your answer. (To be fair Diavolo, maybe people would be more honest with you if you actually listened to their complaints.)

Barbatos:

It's almost easier to list what isn't a deal breaker for Barbatos, as he's a very busy demon with very high standards with an even higher barrier to his trust. There is however, one thing that stands out in particular. The biggest would of course be any hint that you're not fully loyal to Diavolo or Devildom itself and/or any hint that you're using your relationship to achieve anything at all really. Even if it's "just" for wealth Barbatos has zero tolerance for any kind of manipulation. This would also include consistently trying to pull him away from his work, even if it's for the best of reasons.

Solomon:

I really struggled to come up with any Solomon-specific dealbreakers honestly, but I believe the biggest ones would be giving him the impression that you'd prefer to hang out with the demons, rubbing your own pacts in his face, and of course, being more interested in his knowledge or connections than Solomon himself. No one likes to be second-best, but I feel as though it'd be especially bad for Solomon. Especially because he already has trouble both connecting and staying friendly with other humans he feels it's safe to get more attached to. I feel like most are self-explanatory, but Solomon puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that y'all are both human and still seems to think of pacts a bit differently than MC does. I'm not saying he looks down on demons now, but it's clear he did at some point and it might dredge up some old feelings again when he's jealous. Honestly I could even see Solomon potentially thinking that (and using him for knowledge) was what was happening just because MC was an especially curious person.  He is very guarded after all of his bad experiences.

Simeon:

Anyone who tries to push him towards staying an angel or becoming a demon is not someone Simeon will tolerate. It's not something that can be decided easily, and quite frankly it's not your decision to make even if the two of you are in love. Pushing Simeon to become more demonic also leaves him wondering if you'll stay with him once the chase is over and he's "nothing more than another generic demon." Or if all you're interested in are the more... carnal pleasures of life rather than in addition to everything he can give you right now. He is far more lenient If you're genuinely doing it out of worry because you've picked up on how he seems to avoid going home however. Although he would still gently ask you to let him decide on his own. Meanwhile pushing him to stay more angelic would leave him even more wary, once again wondering if you'll stay once he's been corrupted. Even if he hadn't been slowly turning away from the Celestial Realm for centuries even a chaste relationship with a human has it's innate sins just in itself. That being said he is more likely to remain friends than if you were encouraging him to fall, but Simeon would be almost cold as he distances himself.

Tumblr was refusing to let me post so sorry for the test spamming and lack of editing at first. I don't think it's showing in the tags either but whatever, at least it finally let me post it after an hour of trying.

I'm not very happy with this, especially the now datables, but I've sat on it way too long and I'm refusing to let other people keep me from posting from now on.

[tosahobi-if]

if ??? is aro then how come they're a romance option? not saying there's anything wrong with being aro, I'm just confused how that's gonna work. does that mean that their route is more of a platonic route and not really a romance?

??? doesn't have a specific label for their sexuality, they'll find people attractive and experience sexual attraction but hardly ever experience romantic attraction.

is what i said while talking about their sexuality! being aromantic can refer to a spectrum—it doesn’t necessarily equate to never having any romantic feelings, it just means that in ???’s case they hardly ever experience romantic feelings and thus was the closest label i felt described them.

their route is a romance!

[idrellegames]

You've probably gotten a few of these before but my turn for praise. Even as a person who's probably a hopeless romantic I dearly appreciate that Wayfarer doesn't make itself a romance first game. So many IF do that and it makes the game lose any sense of plot and in the worse cases, outright repetitive because the options fail to add any flavor to the rest of the game. Even worse are all the games that sort of 'forget' the other characters are there once you're in a romance.

But what makes Wayfarer even better is the fact you have ace/aro-spec representation that actually matters because people fall into the pitfall of making them a "hard to get/aloof/unaware of anything ever" romance option. Having the ability to make platonic bonds that influence the game just as much as romantic ones and don't diminish aro/ace characters is so nice and I appreciate it so much.

I think this is maybe a good opportunity to riff a little on genre conventions and expectations.

Romance games have their own conventions. They're fun, they're often self-indulgent--the point is to indulge in the fantasy that the MC (and therefor you, the player) is the centre of the universe. Everyone you come across is at least a little bit in love with you. You are special. You are loved. And this is really fun!

Of course, there are romance games that colour outside these lines, but the general expectation is that you will have your selection of ROs, their individual routes, and that the ROs are always going to put the MC first. Having individual routes for each RO usually means that the RO is the star of their route, and all other characters take a backseat because they are the star of their own route. The MC and the romance is the focus, everything else is secondary.

I do really want to stress that there is nothing wrong with this format. It's successful for a reason! The problem comes when you try to apply these conventions to all games, especially ones that do not fall within this genre.

When romance isn't the focal component of the game, the narrative can ring a little hollow if you try try to employ conventions like this. I think there needs to be room for IF games where the MC isn't special, where they are literally Just Some Guy, where the characters they interact with have a range of things going on with them that don't have anything to do with the MC at all. Characters having a life outside the MC is really important for creating deep bonds and meaningful relationships; it's part of having rounded, fleshed-out characters. There needs to be room for conflict and complications, because that's where character development lies.

There's a reason why Aeran doesn't spill all his secrets in Episode 2. If this were a romance game, he might--but it's not and he won't. He is in a significant amount of emotional distress in Velantis and it is not in character for him to break down and reveal everything at the MC's request. Relationships aren't easy, especially when both parties have a lot of growth and healing to do.

And I think, too, when it comes to early IF development it's very easy to want to rush right to the romances. Romances draw in an audience, they give folks something to look forward to. They're the thing you get asks about, which generates interest in your game, and helps you inspiration and drive afloat. But when the focus remains only on that, it's very easy to overlook other necessary narrative aspects. There needs to be balance.

With regards to aro/ace characters - it's easy to fall into tropes for them, even if you don't intend to. There are expectations about what a "good" and "satisfying" relationship looks like in fiction, and aro/ace characters often fall outside of that. To grasp being aro/ace, you have to question what sexual and romantic attraction actually is, which you don't necessarily have to grasp with other characters because the assumption is that it is there naturally.

And even then, aromanticism and asexuality is hard to communicate effectively in fiction without making it feel "lesser". Take for example, Aeran's intimacy scene in Episode 2. There's a difference between the allosexual option (where the MC sleeps with him and they are emotionally and physically intimate) and the asexual option (where they don't have sex, but the emotional intimacy is still there). Even though I was being as careful not to weigh one option over the other, in comparing the two the allosexual version is the more traditionally "satisfying" ending to that arc than the asexual one because it follows conventions. I am personally really happy with the asexual option, but it still feels like it lacks a certain… "oomf", for lack of a better term.

I think this is why it's really important to have substantial relationships outside of romance. When romance and sex aren't weighted as a signifier of the deepest bond you can have with a person, there's room to explore more diverse relationships and how they can take form.