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#dumbest couple ever i love them
steakout-05 · 10 months
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i think if Barry and Craig lived together, Barry would suddenly wake up at really odd hours with a mindblowing thought in his head, shake Craig awake and be like "dude... dinosaurs could have been bright pink and we'd never know....." and Craig, who is only partially awake, would just nod and go "mhmm" but internally he's like "????? what"
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i binged csm after forgetting to watch the new episodes consecutively every single week since episode 5, made some sillies as protocol demands
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arikad0 · 6 months
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the fact that it was implied Cloud and Tifa had sex back in the og FF7 but it took another 27 years for them to kiss on-screen is so akdnskfnwkdn?????
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marsixm · 11 months
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my squishmallow collection minus one dracula head keychain
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algae-tm · 4 months
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SUMMER LOVIN’
Charles Leclerc x Reader
You and Charles fall in love in St.Lucia (one shot)
Warnings: none?
•••••••••••••••••••••••••
INSTAGRAM
youruser
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liked by yourbffuser, and 124 others
youruser: you think you just fell out of a coconut tree???🥥
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yourbffuser: HELLO??!! Who is the man????
- youruser: what man?
- yourbffuser: now i KNOW you aren’t serious. in the second pic!!!!
- youruser: oh him… that’s pookie 😋🤭
- yourbffuser: count your motherfuckin days
yoursisteruser: you collect white men like pokemon smh
- youruser: gotta catch ‘em all!! 😏😤
-yoursisteruser: sigh
charles_leclerc just posted
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liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc and 1,234,432 others
charles_leclerc: St. Lucia 🌊☀️
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user1: why is he so boyfriend coded in the 2nd pic?
- user2: don’t be alarmed bestie but it might have something to do with the literal girl he’s holding hands with in the 3rd pic…
landonorris: is this what the youth call a soft launch?
-charles_leclerc: you are the youth
carlossainz55: ay who’s the girl?
— charles_leclerc: No one and everyone
— user1: wtf does this mean 😭 😭
— user5: why is this simultaneously the dumbest yet most romantic thing I’ve ever read, and I have a boyfriend 😭
— user6: girl- tell your boyfriend to step up or leave him… the bar is in literal hell. — user7: bro releases a couple songs and thinks he’s cool and mysterious
youruser just posted
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youruser: cute solo travel idea- get a man to take you places
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yourbffuser: two posts with the same guy? I fear we’ve lost her
- youruser: NOOOO I’m still a bad bitch, I’m licensed and everything!!
- yoursisteruser: heartbreaker turns into lover girl… story for the ages
yoursisteruser: who is he???? Your fans want to know!!
—youruser: just a cute monegasque
—yoursisteruser: is that a cheese or something?
— youruser: a place apparently… he gets stroppy when I call him French 🤷🏾‍♀️
charles_leclerc just posted
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liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,456,789 others
charles_leclerc: summer lovin’ happened so fast
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user4: two posts with what I’m guessing is the same girl… please twitter users starts sleuthing!!
— user5: or, hear me out, bit of a wild suggestion, just let them be?
— user3: do you think they were together b4, or he found her on holiday??
— user4: wait holdup I didn’t even think of the possibility that this could be just a vacation romance you’re so right @user3
— user5: why do I even bother with these people
pierregasly: day 67895 of asking you to tell me who she is!!
— user53: lmao Pierre is one of us confirmed
— user43: close! He actually knows Charles personally so no he isn’t one of you
— user53: now what did I do to you? 😭
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youruser just posted
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liked by yourbffuser, yoursisteruser and 150 others
youruser: bye bye bye you were bigger than the whole sky…
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yourbffuser: oh pooks
yoursisteruser: glad to know you have a heart
— youruser: bite me
— yourbffuser: time and place, bestie @yoursisteruser
MESSAGES
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SIX MONTHS LATER
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MESSAGES
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3 MONTHS LATER
INSTAGRAM
charles_leclerc just posted
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liked by lewishamilton, arthur_leclerc and 5,234,432 others
charles_leclerc: mine mine mine mine mine mine mine
(tagged youruser)
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lewishamilton: nice to see it brother! You know what they say
— youruser: once you go black!
— lewishamilton: I was gunna say the course of true love never did run smooth…
— youruser: mine works better!!
— user4: lmao she’s hilarious
— user5: and just as chaotic as Charles 😭 they’re made for eachother
—user6: idk I think he needs someone more introverted… she’s attention seeking (this user was blocked by charles_leclerc)
—charles_leclerc: blocked 🤭😙
—youruser: my man, my man, my man!
landonorris: she’s gorgeous
— charles_leclerc: why do you live to cause me distress??
georgerussell63: blimey, was only yesterday you told us you never got her number
— maxverstappen1: very stupid
— danielricciardo: Max be nice
— maxverstappen1: sorry
carlossainz55: well done cabron!
youruser: mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine
arthur_leclerc: she’s lovely
— charles_leclerc: isn’t she just
•••••••••••••
TAGLIST
@forevercaffeinated-lee
@callsignwidow
@a-beaverhausen
@emryb
@c0deincrazy
@dontworryaboutitokie
@c-losur3
@chuxk-lerclerk
@silkenthusiasts
@ietss
@sp1rl
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ham1lton · 2 months
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this is the dumbest thing i’ve ever requested LMAO but……can i request a reader with chronic migraines and lewis who knows that if he makes her come it’ll go away 😩 he eats her out (REAL EATER!) and her migraine does go away and he’s like u feel better? 😁 and she’s begrudgingly like ….yes 😔
author’s note: oh god. this got away from me. hope u enjoy!! and migraines suck ass 😔💔 the relationship between lewis + reader are really blurred here. is he ur fuck buddy? is ur bf? ur fiancé? ur husband? u decide 🫡 also this hasn’t been edited and i wrote it in 10 minutes.
────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────
when lewis finds you, you’re lying on the couch with the lights off. it’s eerily silent and he knows you’re having another migraine. he slips in, and gently lifts your legs so he can sit underneath them. he rubs a thumb against your ankle. you look up at him and grin.
“you’re back.”
“wouldn’t leave you for too long,” he hums. “are you okay? need me to get anything for you?”
“a magical cure for migraines?” you huff as press the palms of your hands into your eyes. “i’m so fucking tired with dealing with them. i want them gone.”
“i know sweetheart,” he rubs his hand over your exposed legs. you decided to wear shorts this morning, it was way too hot to wear anything else. you debated just walking around in your underwear but you were terrified your neighbour would see. you loved the smiths but you’d give the old couple a heart attack if they saw you like that. hence the shorts. “i do know of one thing that might help.”
“and what could that possibly be? i’ve tried everything.”
“well, y’know i was getting my hair braided and i was looking through the magazines my braider has available. did you know that orgasms help with migraines?”
“what fucking magazine are you reading?”
“ones about fucking apparently.”
“don’t make me laugh,” you giggle despite yourself. “it hurts.”
“it hurts me to see you in pain.” he frowns. “let me get you off.”
“i’m not in the mood to have sex. i just want to rot here. i won’t be much fun.”
“i don’t need to get off. this is just about you. i want to help you baby. please.”
for a moment, you think about it. it does sound tempting and you can’t say no when he sounds like that. you smile.
“go ahead.” you laugh. “give me head.”
“you think you’re so funny.” lewis gives you the side eye as he starts to let his hands wander.
“absolutely.” you wink.
lewis was very skilled with his hands. well, his job does partially relies on them. gorgeous, and so warm. when he touches you it’s like he leaves your body on fire. he leaned over to kiss your hipbone. positioning himself so that he’s more comfortable. after a moment of teasing, he pulls your shorts and panties down. he huffs a breath against you.
“she still loves me.” he says as he gathers some of your wetness on his fingers. he spreads your legs wider so that they can sit on his shoulders. you reach a hand to stop him.
“you okay yn?” he looks concerned, so you smile to soothe him.
“it’s not that i want you to stop or anything. i just, can you take your shirt off?” you ask sweetly. he rolls his eyes but obliges, pulling his shirt off and throwing it somewhere. “that’s better.”
he gets back to work quickly. pressing a thumb against your already swollen clit. he smiles before he starts to eat you out. allowing you to hump yourself against his face as he stretches you out with one finger, which turns to two and then three.
you didn’t expect to be so desperate for it. is it because you haven’t seen in him in a while? is it because you’re desperate for any relief? but after a while, you’re practically sobbing for it. for him, for your release, for something. you pull him closer to you, pressing him further in between your thighs. he obliges, and moves his tongue and fingers in tandem with each other.
you feel your release coming soon and you know he knows by the way he doesn’t let up. you’re practically gushing at this point. you’re sucking up his fingers when he makes eye contact. you’re burning up on his couch and he fucking winks at you. when you reach your peak, he fingerfucks you through the aftershocks, kissing your thighs.
“you okay?” he asks politely.
“i know you’re begging to ask it. go on.” you say breathlessly.
“did it work?” he asks excitedly as he cleans you up. “the article said it works better than painkillers. i took a photo.”
“it did work. i feel better. thank you.” you lean over to give him a kiss. you look down at him. “do you need me to get you off?”
“no, no baby. this was all about you. don’t worry about me.” he kisses your ankle and switches on the television on a very low brightness. “should we catch up on that show you like?”
────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────
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ginkgo-phyta · 7 months
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I'm back again 😅
Hopefully, I'm not the only person with this opinion, but how do you think Spencer would react if his significant other told him that they thought he looked hot with his bulletproof vest on? 👀
omg is this injured spencer request anon?? I NEED TO KNOW im so sorry if it's not tho, whoever you are thank you so much for coming back!! i love you with all my heart you should use a special emoji as like ur own lil signature! :D
okay so i wanted to try blurb(?) format but mmm okay not really cuz just a wall of text was stressing me out but this is def more informal than my other work (look no capital letters!) and because i love you so much i present two scenarios for you :P... i cant fight this feeling anymore guys he rlly is so hot in his vest im becoming my most feral self grrrrr RAH RAH ALRIGHT hope you enjoy, my love!
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OKAY SO SPENCER REACTING TO YOU TELING HIM HE'S HOT IN HIS FBI VEST gn! reader, fluff, second scenario a little steamy in tone but nothing explicit just h*rny vibes, no other warnings
if you weren't a profiler: you'd never thought about it before- spencer in his bulletproof vest. sure, you knew that his job required him to go into sticky situations where the prospect of gunfire was imminent and he would have to wear proper equipment, but you never put two nd two together. you never even thought of a kevlar vest as something that could be hot...until you saw a picture of him wearing it.
"what the hell is that." you blurt out, voice serious with hints of concern.
"huh?" spencer's as clueless as ever, a little worried about your reaction. he was just showing you random photos his team members had taken over the years, all printed out for easy viewing courtesy of the ever-so-accommodating penolope garcia. someone had taken a pic of a beautiful lake where the bau had saved yet another victim, the sun dipping below the horizon line of pine trees, painting the sky purple and pink. "um...the sunset?" spencer was confused, "i guess maybe it was kinda a weird time to take a photo, but no one was hurt and we caught the unsub and the sky really did look-"
you cut off his rambling with a wave of your hand, eyes never leaving the photo in front of you, "no, no...what's that." you point to what you were talking about, a figure standing off to the side.
spencer takes a minute, becoming even more bewildered "...me?" in that moment your world changed.
"oh my god... "you whispered in a daze, firmly pulling the picture out of spencer's fingers and into your own, "what...what are you wearing?"
"honey what's wrong? it's just my bulletproof vest. i know it might look a little funny, but it, y'know, keeps me alive..." he scratches the back of his neck. a couple seconds of silence pass, but to spencer it feels excruciatingly long.
"spencer," you look at up at him deadpan "you look so fucking hot." to say your boyfriend was shocked would be an understatement.
he was absolutely blown away by your response, so much so that the way his face contorted looked borderline disgusted. "wha-what?? huh? what?" he clamored, eyes flitting over your face to find any sign you were joking.
"seriously, baby, you look so good. oh, my God!!" you almost shriek, gripping the picture tighter, the widest, dumbest grin pulling up your cheeks as you giggle like a schoolgirl.
spencer smiles at your reaction, still a little perplexed "you really think so?" the notion begins to sink into his bones, making him giddy.
you very enthusiastically nod your head, "are there any more pictures of you like this?" you rip the rest of the photos out of spencer's hands, scouring through them at light speed. out of nowhere, spencer laughs out loud, his nose scrunching in delight.
"i...don't know what to say. i'm flattered you think that," a wonderful blush shimmers over his cheeks, "but no i don't think there are. sadly." he playfully adds.
you stop all movements, slowly turning towards him, suspiciously calm. "well then," you grab your phone and suddenly stand up "looks like i'll just have to ask penelope for some!"
"wait! wait, no!" spencer calls after you as you start speed-walking away, your shirt barely escaping his fingertips. he yells out your name, his serious tone interrupted by a giggle of his own as he begins chasing you, "get back here!" he knows: garcia can never ever find out about this...
if you were a profiler: you had seen spencer don his FBI branded bulletproof vest hundreds of times over the years. although you had pined over him for years and were now finally in a relationship with him, seeing him like that didn't make you feel any type of way really. sure, you thought he looked strong and handsome, but most of the time you were too caught up in the case or situation at hand to focus on how he looked. until now. something had shifted in him in the last few months, not just with his ever-changing haircut, but within the way he held himself; more confident, more sure of himself, even more cocky, if you will. whatever it was, it drew your eyes to him in his tight little vest like a lightbulb draws in moths- instantly and continuously. it all came to a head when you caught the unsub responsible for drowning and resuscitating his victims until they couldn't be brought back to life. spencer dove into the lake with emily to apprehend the killer while you had helped the kid he had hostage reunite with his mother. you smiled at the scene in front of you, the teenager running into his mother's shaking arms, her holding him close in a tight embrace. another good ending, you thought to yourself before turning back to watch your fellow profilers make the arrest. suddenly, you mouth goes dry. there spencer reid stood; soaking wet, clothes sticking to his skin, chest rising and falling as he panted to catch his breath, his hand pushing his wet hair out of his face. and that stupid, goddamn kevlar vest. oh, fuck. the others walked away from the dock to situate everyone and themselves in respected vehicles that sat back on the road a few hundred feet away from where you currently were. as spencer moved to follow behind emily, hands trying to flick the water off of him, your gaze stopped him in his tracks. he stood there, a bit confused as to why you were walking towards him, seemingly entranced, instead of beelining behind everyone else.
he spoke out your name, but you remained silent, stopping just a couple feet away from him. you took him in one more time: the way his shirt became translucent, granting you with peeks of his skin; his sleeves rolled up, showing off his delicious forearms; the way his soaked pants choked his thick thighs. you became woozy with desire. spencer watched as your eyes dragged over his figure, drinking in every inch of his dripping body. "oh, baby..." you voice drawled out as soon as your gaze landed on his bulletproof vest, "you're absolutely soaking wet." spencer's eyebrows shot up his forehead at the suggestive twinkle in your timbre. you approached him further, chest just inches away from his. if he wasn't so intrigued by your reaction, he would have been a bit more cautious of lingering teammates. your hands came up to ghost over his vest, "did i ever tell you how good i think you look in this?" you looked up at him through your lashes.
spencer chuckled, "in the bulletproof vest?" you nodded in response, but spencer still couldn't really believe it. "uh, no, actually, you haven't." his eyes glinted at the way you bit your lip, his hands moving on their own accord to rest on your hips. you could feel droplets of water seep into the material and lick your skin, but you didn't give a rat's ass.
"well, you do." you whisper, hands wrapping around the back of his neck as you pull yourself up to press a kiss to his lips, "really, really good." your mouth moves enticingly with his.
"oh? is that so?" he whispers against your lips, diving back in, his fingers digging in your hips. he graciously kisses you for a moment before it dawns on him that you're both still at work- in an active crime scene, at that. "mmh, mmh!" he vocalizes between kisses as he tries to move his head back a smidge. his eyes peak open just enough to see if anyone else was around. your lips are addicting, rendering him unable to fully tell you to stop, unable to fully pull away himself. he's relieved when he spots no one. still, he know this is far from appropriate. spencer's hands move up your body to wrap around your wrists behind him, pulling them away from him and the same time he pulled away from you, "okay, okay!" he breathes out with a chuckle, "i believe you now" he tries to catch his bearings, but your pouting face causes him to laugh again
"spencerrrr," you groan at the loss of your beloved's kisses and he turns you around and pushes you towards the spot where the others vanished, walking behind you with his hands on your shoulders, your body held at an arm's distance.
"let's go, angel." his words brought out a hmph! from you. "we can do more of that later at home" he whispers, leaning in ever-so-slightly.
you turn your head back to get a glimpse of him, your eyes and smile equally wide with excitement, "can you bring the vest with you?!"
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A/N: OKAYYYY lemme stop myself before things get filthy LOL do yall know which episode im referring to in the second scenario? that end scene will always get me my eye are GLUED to spencer the entire time GODDAMN. okay anyway i hope you liked this anon!!! pls tell me yalls thoughts <3
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cassiefromhell · 11 months
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Lollipops
Post-War: Levi Ackerman x Reader
wc: 4.3k
warnings: SPOILERS. im so serious guys. SPOILERS. if you havent watched/read to the FINALE, do not progress. you've been warned. also theres a little tiny bit of gore.
a/n: this is self-defense writing to protect my sanity after the last ep. im so not okay with it being over. also requests are open, i'll write anything! also, this is written in flashbacks. but never fear, the flashbacks are separated from the present by dividers, so you'll know when it switches.
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“You two are like a fairytale couple,” a young girl giggles, hugging a pink-covered book to her chest. “Like a damsel and her prince.” 
You smile, pulling a lollipop out of your box — and then another, handing them to her. “Take two for sweet-talking me. But remember that true love isn’t perfect by any means.”
She grins, nods, and takes her candy, sprinting off into an old woman’s arms. You sigh softly, looking up to see that the line of children coming to receive candy from Paridian heroes is momentarily empty.
“Not perfect, huh?” Levi asks from beside you, shifting in his chair.
You roll your eyes, gently flicking the side of his head. You crouch down to be on his level. “You’re saying that we had a fairytale romance? That you swept me off my feet and carried me away from danger?”
“Yes. I would. Now get your ass up, I don’t need you to get down for me,” he scowls, his eyes flicking over your kneeling form.
“I would get down on my knees for you anyti—”
“Up.”
You grin, but listen to him and stand up, picking up your box once more. “Fairytale, huh? So what are you, the savior?”
“I’d say it’s even. Although, I remember saving your ass much more often than you saved mine.”
You scoff, putting your hands on your hips. “Name a time!”
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“Get your ass up, scout!”
You groan, shoving yourself up onto your elbows. “Just a sec,” you manage between heavy breaths, coughing and coughing.
Hoofbeats approach and you whimper, knowing that if that’s the captain you think it is, you’re about to get the beating of a lifetime.
“Why, exactly, are you laying in the dust?” Captain Levi Ackerman asks, tone cold and voice sharp as a knife. “You’re a transfer, not a cadet. From the MP’s, even. I expected better.”
“I’m recovering from an injury, Captain,” you wheeze out, pressing a hand to your side and shoving yourself up onto your knees. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
“You’d better be. Now, up. On your feet, or be left behind.”
You pull one foot under you, then the other, and nearly collapse. His arm shoots out to grab your bicep, effectively keeping you up as your side screams in protest, ribs aching and tears springing to your eyes.
“What kind of an injury?” he asks, his grip tightening. “Why on earth would you switch to the Survey Corps while injured?”
“Ribs,” you hiss, gripping your side. The doctors have said that nearly all your ribs on your right side are either bruised, fractured, or completely broken. “And I had no choice. I had to leave.”
He narrows his eyes, but slowly releases you, making sure you’re not going to fall over the second he lets go. “You’re in no condition to be training, and I don’t need you getting worse. I have no interest in crippled soldiers. Go inside and get yourself assigned to kitchen duty for the next two weeks, on Ackerman’s orders.”
Your eyes slowly shift up from the ground to him, and you get your first good look at him.
And holy shit, the rumors of Humanity’s Strongest did not mention how mouth-wateringly attractive he is.
You give the dumbest nod you’ve ever given and turn on your heel. You hobble your way inside, and then immediately lean against a cold, stone wall, repeating to yourself in your head over and over again:
We are not falling for a captain.
We are not falling for a captain.
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You open and close your mouth, then shrug. “Okay, but of course you were going to save my ass a lot while I was training. I’m sure it got better once I was a captain.”
“Did it, though?”
You elbow him, scowling. A smirk dances on his lips.
A woman grinning ear-to-ear starts your way, and you narrow your eyes. “She’s too old for candy.”
“Reporter,” Levi grumbles, looking down into his box, as if not making eye contact will stop her from approaching.
“Hi!” She shouts, giving a big wave. “I was hoping to ask you two a quick few questions, while you’re not too busy.”
“We’re quite busy,” Levi drones.
“Ah! I had heard about that grumpy attitude!” The reporter laughs, then looks at you. “And you must be his sunshine!”
You scratch the back of your neck, shrugging. “Something like that.”
The reporter whips out a pen and paper. “Now, all sources say that tog two have been married for quite some time, but nothing ever tells me when you two met, or how! Do tell.”
“We met in the service,” you start, rubbing your chin. “I had just transferred to the military police, so I was starting fresh in the Survey Corps.”
She quirks a brow. “Why did you transfer?”
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The air simply won’t come to your lungs. You can’t breathe. The night sky doesn’t help, the fresh cool air is only suffocating you more.
You drop to the grass in the courtyard, one hand on your healing side and the other around your throat. Tears pour down your face, and you cough, and cough, and cough, and gasp.
It was just a nightmare, you tell yourself, but it doesn’t help. You can still remember what really happened, his hand around your neck, boot in your side, the bruises along each ridge of your spine from being tossed into a wall.
Your ribs may have been almost fully healed now, after two months being a Scout, but you still can feel each kick he gave you just for telling him no.
“Breathe.”
You sputter, looking up to see Captain Levi kneeling in front of you. He grips your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him.
“Breathe, come on. Take a deep breath.”
You try, you really do, but you only end up sobbing harder. Your hands clench the grass.
He sighs heavily, scooting over to your side and awkwardly patting your back. “Breathe.”
You manage to slow your breathing, and take a few good deep breaths. Then you immediately stumble to your feet. “…Sorry. I’ll head back now.”
His hand is around your wrist before you can even register that he’s gotten up. “Why are you out here so late, crying in the damn courtyard?”
“It’s nothing. Just a bad dream, you murmur, tugging your hand away from him and heading back inside.
You feel assessing eyes on your back as you walk, and you can’t help but look down at your hand, that hand that you wore a ring on for a year and a half.
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You’ve fallen silent, chewing your lip and looking off to the side. The reporter tilts her head, raising a brow. 
“She just needed a fresh start,” Levi answers for you, placing a hand on your hip for reassurance. “And that’s what she got.”
She accepts that answer, writing down the words. “Now, how did you two end up together? Was it live at first sight?”
Levi scoffs. “Far from it.”
You glare at him. “Well, I liked you.”
“No, you hated me. You just wanted to fuck.”
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“Thank you, Hange,” you grin, folding up the card again and tucking it back into the envelope, which reads ‘Congrats, new Captain!’. “I really appreciate it.”
A year in the Survey Corps flew by fast, and you had shown immense skill in the craft, therefore earning the title of Captain of your very own squad.
But your skills weren’t the only thing that had developed. You and Levi tolerated each other now, even if he thought you were loud and chaotic and you thought he was grumpy and sad, like a lonely old man.
And yet, you were drawn to him. He was handsome, and every once in a while you’d say something that would make his mouth tilt up, and… that mouth. It would be the death of you.
Hange heads out, leaving you alone in your room for the first time in hours. Everybody had been in and out, offering congratulations and words of advice.
You sink back onto your bed, yawning. It’s been a long day, and now you just want to sleep—
But a knocking comes on your door, and in walks Levi.
“I could have been naked,” you grin as he strides over, dumping a pile of paperwork on your desk.
“Captains have more paperwork than everybody else. I’ve been assigned to show you how to fill it out.”
“I bet you were hoping I was naked” you tease, but get up anyway, running a hand down your face as you stand next to him.
“You’re insufferable.”
“You’re boring.”
“Boring? Really?”
“Yeah.”
There is a short silence, with Levi sorting through the papers. And suddenly, you are very aware of the fact that you are in your bedroom, alone, with Levi Ackerman.
And apparently he’s aware of it too, because he gives you a look.
And then you jump on him.
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The reporter laughs and scratches a few things down on her pad of paper, her eyes crinkling around the edges. “And what year was this?”
“We met in 846, and then started seeing each other romantically in 847,” you explain. You open a lollipop and stick it in your mouth.
The reporter only stares at you, a brow lifted and eyes narrowed.
“Eleven years ago,” Levi says, and then she nods and writes it down.
“What—”
“Different years,” Levi murmurs, shaking his head. “They’re in the damn 1900’s, remember.”
You flush, blood rushing to your ears and cheeks. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with the rest of the world, you always forget that years are different and you can take a plane somewhere and getting a papercut doesn’t mean you might die of sepsis.
For you, it’s still 858.
“Did you two personally know Eren Jaeger?”
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You crouch by the bars, tilting your head as you examine him. Just a child. Skinny. He couldn’t hurt a fly.
“This is the titan child?” You ask, squinting. “He’s, what, fifteen?”
“Yes. Please step back,” Levi says. “You don’t need to be that close.”
“He’s like a fleck of dirt in a crop field. I need to be this close to see him. Are you sure he really—“
The chains on his arms rattle, and you skitter back, slamming into the wall beside Levi.
“Careful,” he scowls, brushing dirt off of your shoulder.
“What… happened?” The boy asks, rubbing his eyes.
Erwin launches into a full explanation, and by the time he’s done the boy looks completely lost.
“You’re… the commander of the Survey Corps,” he looks at Erwin, “…And Captain Levi, and Captain {Y/N}… where am I?”
“A dungeon—”
Erwin keeps speaking, but a thump near the staircase catches your attention. You stride off, past the MP guards, and peek around the corner.
There, struggling against a guard, is the young girl that you’ve been told is Mikasa.
You scowl, shutting the door behind yourself and storming up to her.
“Calm down,” you whisper, taking both her wrists in one hand and pushing her up against a wall. “Do you realize what you’re risking here?” 
“You don’t understand, I need to see him—”
“Shut up. You’re risking his freedom by coming this close. Go back upstairs.”
She glares at you, damn near baring her teeth. But you hold firm, and she slowly nods.
“Good, now go.”
You release her, and with one final glance over her shoulder, she trudges up the stairs.
You run a hand through your hair,  thinking to yourself: these new scouts are going to be an issue, aren’t they?
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“Yes,” you say, nodding. “We knew all of the kids.”
“All of them?” she asks, furiously scratching down your words.
“We were both captains when Eren’s year entered the corps — we trained them. Of course we knew them all.”
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“On my squad,” you read off of your paper, speaking to the large crowd in front of you — all the scouts that will be on the next expedition. “…I am pulling in an extra scout. Mikasa Ackerman will join me in the center ranks.”
Whispers run through the crowd, and you step off of the stage, taking your spot next to Levi in the captains line. Erwin picks up a speech, talking about the squad formations.
A tap on your shoulder makes you turn, and your eyes widen as you’re met with your favorite chaos trio: Jean, Sasha, and Connie.
“Get into your formation,” you hiss.
“But, here’s the thing,” Jean whispers. “I’ve been really great during training. What do I have to do to get on your squad?”
“Jean!” you narrow your eyes. “You are not getting on my squad.”
“I would bring you food every day,” Sasha pleads, putting her hands out in a prayer position. “Please! We’d be the best squad ever.”
You actually pause to consider that for the food, but Levi stomps on your foot. “Ow— Uhm, no. Now return to formation or I’ll bump you down a squad.”
They skitter off, moving through the crowd. You just hope that they’ll go to the right place this time.
You sigh, facing forward again. You’ve already heard everything that Erwin has to say, so this is all repeat to you.
You brush your hand against Levi’s, and his pinky touches yours. You lock them together, resisting the urge to just lean into his warmth.
Pinkies locked, you wait out the rest of the assembly.
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“Would you say you were close with any of them?”
Levi shrugs. “They respected me. They loved her.”
“Oh, they loved you too,” you grin, patting his shoulder. “Loved you enough for Historia to smack you the second she was legally allowed to.”
“Have there been any hardships?” The reporter cuts in.
You pause. Levi pauses.
“Of course,” he murmurs, voice softer now. He brushes his fingertips against your thigh.
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As soon as you make it in through the gate, Levi is at your side, pulling his horse up next to yours.
“Let me look,” he murmurs, beckoning with his hand. 
You shake your head, cradling your messily bandaged hand to your chest. “No.”
“{Y/N}. Let me look,” his voice is more stern now.
You know the damage. You found a cloaked figure up high in the trees, you went for the attack, and they were faster than you. It was a clean cut. Your index and middle fingers are gone, as well as a chunk of your thumb.
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“I can’t take it off ‘till I reach the medics,” you whisper back, turning away from him. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
But he doesn’t leave. He stays by your side, silently. He rides with you all the way to the scout headquarters, silently. He walks with you to the medics, without a single word.
The medics take one look at you, and, having heard that you were coming in, usher you into a private room.
There are three medics with you, which means they consider your injury a serious one. 
The lead medic closes the door, and then turns to you with a pitiful smile. “Let’s take a look, alright captain?”
You cradle your hand closer to your chest. You feel like a child, not wanting to accept what’s happened. But it’s… your hand… this is forever. 
Levi gently touches your arm. “You don’t have to look.”
You can’t remember the last time Levi was so soft with you. You’ve been with him for years by now, but he’s just not a soft person.
Nevertheless, he pulls your face against his shoulder, stroking your hair. He carefully pulls your wrapped hand away from you, holding it out for the medics. 
You feel it immediately when they start pulling the bandages off, and you bury your face into Levi’s shirt, whimpering.
“You’re alright. They’ve almost got it off,” he murmurs, holding your face against his chest.
The wrapping falls away, and there’s a soft gasp from one of the medics, followed by Levi stiffening.
“Is it bad?” you moan, crying out as someone prods something painful.
“Do you want me to lie?”
“No.”
“It’s not good. But it’s a clean cut, so they’re going to clean it and stitch it up for you. You’ll be fine.”
You fist his shirt. “…Please don’t go.”
He pulls you a little closer. “I won’t. I won’t leave your side.”
The next thing you know, they’ve stuck your hand in alcohol, and you’re screaming.
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You tuck your half-hand into your pocket, out of the reporter’s watchful gaze.
“But you two are married, correct?”
Levi nods. “Yes.”
“When were you married?”
You look to Levi, smiling softly. “Well, twice. Once in Paradis, and they don’t acknowledge Paridian marriage licenses here, so we did it all over again a couple years ago.”
“When was the first time?”
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Your hand has become a focus for you.
Just as you lay in bed now, holding your two and a half fingers above your head. The stitches have been taken out, leaving you with pinky and ring fingers, two little nubs cut below the first knuckle, and half of a thumb. It’s still healing, but this is pretty much what your hand will look like. Forever. Till the day you finally croak.
The door swings open, and you immediately feel Levi’s cold, calculating gaze. “Are you picking at it again?”
“No,” you roll your eyes. “Just looking. Y’know, at least I still have a ring finger.”
“Why does that matter?” He asks. He takes off his jacket and hangs it up, then sits on the bed beside you and starts on his boots.
“So one day I could wear a wedding ring.”
He pauses. You pause, realizing what just came out of your mouth.
He turns to face you, leaving one boot on and the other half off. “You’re interested in marriage.”
Suddenly your face feels hot. “…Yeah.”
“To me?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s really what you want?”
You nod, chewing your lip.
“Then marry me.” His face stays completely blank.
You sit up slowly, eyes wide. “You— you wanna marry me?”
“You already know that I love you. If you want marriage, it’s only logical that—”
You cut him off by tackling him, sending the both of you tumbling off the bed. Levi twists so that he’ll hit the ground and you’re just land on him, but you have no time to ask if he’s okay between all the kisses you’re showering across his face.
He scoffs. “Enough, woman.”
“You wanna be stuck with me!? Really?!” You grin, sitting up to be straddling his waist. 
“I guess so.”
You throw your arms over your head, starting to sing to yourself. “You looooove me, you wanna maaaarry me, I’m gettin’ maaaarried,” you snap to your own little beat, dancing on his waist.
You look down at him, beaming, just to find him watching you with soft gray eyes.
“I love you,” he whispers.
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The reporter smiles and nods, then looks over her notes. “Well, I just have one more question, and then I’ll leave you two be.”
Levi looks quite ready to be done, so you speak up. “Just make it quick.”
She nods, looking up at you one last time. “Did everyone else know you two were together?”
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You sigh, reaching behind you and pulling your hair out of its ponytail. It’s been a long day, and all you want is to refill your ODM fuel for tomorrow and go to bed.
You approach the supply closet, but pause when you hear voices. You peer in, eyes widening at the sight.
Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Reiner, and Bertholdt all crowd around a table, coins in piles. But there are no cards. No game.
“Listen,” Connie says, throwing up his hands. “It’s just gotta be someone in the Survey Corps. There’s no way it’s not!”
“But wouldn’t we know if it was?” Jean adds, rubbing his chin. “There aren’t too many options.”
“Miche?” Mikasa proposes, spinning a coin in her fingers.
“What? No,” Eren scoffs. “Absolutely not. Armin, what do you think?”
Armin lets out a low whistle, shaking his head. “I already lost my money on the bet that Captain {Y/N} would stay single. I thought she was the type to not want or need a man.”
Ah. So they’re betting… on my love life!?
“Well, she’s wearing a ring, that’s for sure…” Sasha rubs her chin. “What if it’s Levi?”
There’s a beat of silence.
Everyone in the room erupts into laughter. 
“Ha! Her and Levi? When pigs fly!” Eren laughs, banging his fist on the table.
“You’re such an idiot,” Connie grins, shoving Sasha. “I’d say she’s a lesbian before that!”
You smirk and roll your eyes, walking away from the room. You just know that they’re gonna be knocked off their feet when they find out.
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“No, no, it took them quite a while to find out,” you laugh, shaking your head. “They couldn’t have guessed it if they’d put all their little brains together — and believe me, they did.”
“So, how did they find out?”
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“Alrighty, Armin,” you sigh, running a hand over your head. “Let’s get this transformation done. The area is cleared for miles, so just give me a few minutes to get out of dodge, and you’ll get the smoke signal to go ahead.”
He nods, chewing his lip. 
“Hey,” you pat his shoulder. “You’ve got this.”
With that done, you turn, shooting your grappling hooks into a tree and soaring off into the forest.
After a few minutes, you’re damn near in the safe zone.
Near.
And then the sky lights up like a Christmas tree.
As expected, a massive explosion sounds behind you, and your ears immediately start to ring. More concerning, however, is the shrapnel made of trees and dirt and rocks flying your way.
You shriek, turning forward once more and zipping your way through the trees. Except, you have to hold your left sword in a weird way because of your hand, and then a gush of wind hits you and—
The branch you’re swinging from snaps, and you’re sent tumbling to the ground, unable to right yourself. 
The grass gets nearer and nearer, and you fumble with your swords. But you won’t make it. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, and accept your fate—
Until you collide with Levi’s chest, and his arms are around you, and you’re zipping towards the safe zone.
“Holy shit,” you wheeze, coughing on stirred up dust. You grip his shoulders, shaking from all of the adrenaline rushing through you.
You’re back in the group with the others in no time, and Levi immediately puts you on the ground. But you don’t get a hug and a ‘thank god you’re alive.’ No, Levi puts his hands on your shoulders and shakes you.
“Are you crazy?” He hisses, gripping your jaw with one hand. “I’ve told you to hold your swords upside down like I do, so this wouldn’t happen. You almost died, and all because of your idiocy—”
“Levi—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it. You cannot go dying on me, you hear me? I will not lose you.”
You bite your lip, putting a hand on his chest. “Levi…”
“You are such a fucking idiot. I cannot believe I married someone who would risk her own life like that. You need to value yourself, damn it! You cannot leave me here alone—”
You shut him up with a kiss, rooting your hand in his hair. He kisses you back without hesitation, his hands flying to your waist.
“You’re not going to lose me,” you murmur, pulling away. “You saved me. You caught me. And I’m confident that you always will.”
His jaw clenches, a muscle feathering, and he opens his mouth, but a voice from the right interrupts whatever he had planned to say.
“Did I, uh… miss a chapter?” Jean asks.
You look over to find almost all of Eren’s friend group standing there, dumbfounded. Hange sits up in a tree, grinning ear to ear, but they’ve known about you two for years.
You grin, shaking your head. “The money goes to Sasha.”
“AND YOU ALL CALLED ME STUPID!” Sasha shrieks, throwing her hands up in the air.
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“That’s all I need,” the reporter nods, and closes her notebook, tucking away her pen. “Nice meeting you two, heroes.”
She leaves with a wink, and just in time, because a little refugee boy has approached, hands behind his back.
You give him a soft smile, kneeling to be on his level. “Would you like a lollipop?”
The boy nods, giving a shy smile. 
Levi reaches into his box, holding out a blue lollipop. He gives the child his softest smile, and in that smile you see it all.
You see the man that saved your ass more times than you can count. The man who presses a kiss to your temple when he thinks you’ve fallen asleep. The man who blushes when you run your hands down his chest. The man who doesn’t give anyone that soft smile of his, except for on very rare occasions.
Your man.
The center of your universe.
The boy takes his lollipop, bows at the waist, and then skitters off with a  mumbled ‘thank you.’
You watch him go, and then you turn back, met with Levi, holding out a lollipop to you.
You press a kiss to his scarred knuckles and take it, giving him your own soft smile. “I love you.”
“Yeah, you too, brat,” he chuckles, turning back to the box of candy.
And you remember the nights you spent eating sweets he brought back for you from town.
You remember every night with him.
Because Levi is your world. Your one and only.
And he always will be, from now until the end of time.
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@jeannineee be proud of me bitch <3
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flamingpudding · 1 year
Text
Sooo I had this idea most likely inspired by a bunch of other fanfics I read...
Follow up part: 2
Ghost kid in Gotham
The Beginning
So far Danny counted two times in his live that he had died or at least sort of remembered dying.
The first time he died, he had been eight and in an horrible turn of events was forced into a fight to death with his twin. All because Danny couldn't be like his brother. He couldn't kill, he continuously nearly fails his missions if it weren't for his twin finishing of targets that were supposed to be his. The league had seen him as the black sheep of the family. He was no assassin material yet his twin brother still protected and adored him. But then their grandfather saw how he became a weakness for the true heir. All because Danny couldn't get his shit together during one mission they were sent on together. Resulting in his twin sustaining an injury.
So Danny was sentenced to death in an obvious fight the entire league knew he could nore would ever want to win. The fight had drawn out his twin at least attempting to get him to fight back to show their family that he was worth keeping by showing his skills, even if Danny couldn't kill, he could still fight excellently. But Danny didn't play along, instead he let his brother kill him with the final blow. He didn't even bother attempting to dodge.
His first death had probably been very cruel towards his brother, but at least it meant that his twin, Damien would live on.
Though he didn't expect that right before his body could grow cold forever, that their mothers still had somewhat of a heart and dunked him into the pits and revive Danny the first time. (Only later through Clockwork did Danny learn that he had been dropped in a pit of contaminated ectoplasm which probably was also the reason he even survived - well sort of survived - his second death)
He did come out as a feral kid though he barely remembered his time at the Chicago Orphanage. His former parents the Fantons had told him that he had been a feral kid the first year they had him. Apparently for the longest time Jazz had been the only one that could touch let alone get in hugging distance of Danny without getting bitten. Jack liked to show off the bite marks as lovely memories his sweet little Danno gave him the first time he hugged eight years old Danny.
The second time he died, he had been 14 and to this day he still thinks that a dare was one of the dumbest things one could die from. Of course his adopted parents weren't normal. They were ecto-scientists, studying ghosts or rather ecto-entities. And of course they were treading the line of mad-scientists with an entire lap in the basement and ecto-weaponry laying out and about throughout the entire house.
So when his parents build a portal to punch their way into another dimension that didn't work his friends just had to dare him to get in there to take a photo - or had it been a video - of it.
Who would have guests that the on batten was inside the damn thing instead of outside and that his stumbling and catching himself on the damned button would just so happen to punch open that portal with him in the middle of it all.
Let him tell you, getting electrocuted was not a fun way to day, nor is getting revived yet again by ectoplasm that was spewing out of the portal and mixing with his DNA. At least he got some cool powers from that accident and did not go feral like he did the first time round.
Danny shuddered, imaging if he had gone feral back then with Phantoms powers. Good he truly would have been the menace Amity still couldn't decide if he was or not.
Either way that were the two time he counted in his death tolls so far. Of course there were a couple of other times. Like that one time Sam made a wish. But he didn't really count them since well they didn't have any sort of big change that followed them.
But right now. He was probably close to his third accounted death. Strapped to the table. His chest pretty much sliced open and he was pretty sure that one of the tubes on the table across the room still contained his liver his Mo- Maddie had taken out and the other his arm that had been cut off by Agent K to test his healing.
Well he should have known better than to let his sister convince him that his adoptive parents would turn on him. Looks like that with their working with the GIW and him on the table they had finally broken the last bits of trust both Jazz and him had in them.
Danny had long lost the energy to plead with them, that it was still him. At least he would be a full ghost once the bloodless and missing limbs did him in. Really his human body wasn't as resistent as his ghost body. But at least staying in human form would protect his core. Really the worst that could happen was his human side dying right now.
Letting out a mute sigh Danny closed his eyes letting exhaustion take his mind into oblivion. The only sad thing was, that he never got to find out how his twin Damien was doing and if he was still with the league…
TIME OUT
When Clockwork first had set the path for this timeline he did not realize how damaging his king's parents' reaction was. As he looked at his king strapped to the table, cut open and even missing limbs, he for a brief moment regretted that he only ever watched the timelines and sent others to intervene. Rarely did he himself interfere but this time he had to. Otherwise his king would lose the part that made him the kindest among all the ghosts in the Infinit Realms.
Carefully he removed his king from the chains holding him down and took him with him. Away from the horrors he was facing and away from the Family that was supposed to preserve his king's kindness and humanity.
It looked like he had made a grave mistake but it was something that was still possible to fix. The timeline had yet to turn into a doomed one. And so Clockwork decided to take his king away and bring him to a place that would have a close amount of ectoplasm as Amity had as well as one of the strongest Spirits in existence to protect him until he was ready.
Looking down at the teen in his arms, Clockwork also decided that his king did not need the painful memories his supposed family gave him. A blue light engulfed his kind as Clockwork let his powers work. Turning the clock back only for his king. The missing limbs returned and his open wounds closed as the body in his arms shrunk.
In mere seconds the Master of time was holding his king at the age of his first death in his arms, yet the state was not the same. The scars of his second death were still present, telling that his powers as halfa were still present in his king's small bodies. With this his king would be ready to be dropped off to his next family. Hopefully Clockwork wasn't making a mistake again but keeping his king truly safe this time.
TIME IN
Lady Gothem was not impressed with the Master of Time as that old man dropped off the body of their king with little to no explanation. Last she knew her king was supposed to be a teenager, a halfa so powerful that the Infinite Realms were supposed to become a much safer place than they ever had been under any of the previous kings.
All the Master of Time had offered her was a cryptic - and honestly when was that old cogwheel not - message of protecting his king and returning him to his family. Really the next time she they meet she would not miss the chance to lecture Cronus. But for now she studied the young sleeping king in her arms, noting the similarities he held to the youngest of her knights.
Ah, so that was the family the old cogwheel meant. Well it looked that her knights were not only hers alone now but would also protect her king now. But who to bring him too, she mused. Surely her dearest among them would have no qualms taking the child in but he was currently not in their home. The little knights of other haunts have requested his help and called him away to that watchtower.
Mentally the city's spirit went through all her knights until her thoughts stopped by one in particular. The knight she was going to request help with from her king anyway. What better way was there than taking care of two problems with one action. He would surely take that child to the others as well as receive her king's help with his little contamination problem.
With her decision made, Lady Gothom made her move.
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steakout-05 · 2 months
Text
(DISCLAIMER: as of the 17th of August 2024, it was revealed that Craig is directly related to Barry, which obviously makes my Crarry art very awkward. this is here to say this was made before any of that was revealed and obviously wasn't intended to be a ship about... that.)
very silly crarry shitpost for your souls
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blu-ish · 5 months
Note
DUDE I JUST CAME UP WITH SOMETHING FROM THE DUMBEST THING EVER.
So I was watching reck it Ralph: Ralph breaks the internet the other day and the only scene that matters showed up.
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Where fun fact, He was supposed to join them in going into the internet with a couple other characters and I kept thinking about it during the whole movie.
idea. What if he visited Netflix and watched his own shows life events again! Like he watched sonic prime and feels some sort of relief that it was real, but some kind of confusion in reilising the rest of the world is watching too. Like a sonic Truman show of some kind.
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But my main thought of it was how he would react to seeing shadow take care of him when his power was dwindling, we don’t know if he ever heard shadow say “hang on sonic!!” But him seeing it for himself would definitely make him appreciate shadow more in a way.
I dunno maybe the Sonadow brainrot is getting to be from one Camino in a wreck it Ralph movie but what do you think?
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wdym this isn't how it went?
I ADOREEE THIS IDEA SM MK DBWJKEBDHKJWBD honestly Sonic carried the movies for me as a kid 😭still do I mean whagt
Love the idea that Arcade Sonic hasn't seen the internet since ITS CREATION, he's gonna have a fun time catching up. Especially with a certain show 😏😏😏😏RIGHT AFTER HE FINDS OUT WHAT NETFLIX IS--
(More doodles on the way sjwhwbsjwsb finals go brrrr)
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goodboyyyy · 2 years
Text
Your phone dinged- it was an email from your college. You'd been waiting for it all summer- you'd been dying to know what dorm you'd be in and who your roommate would be.
You were super excited for college, to be around other smart people, especially since you were going to an Ivy League. You'd kind of been an nerd in high school, but thought that in college, brains might be appreciated over brawn. You'd imagined it a lot- being around other smart people who could actually have a discussion, instead of the homophobic idiots you went to school with, the dumb jocks you had to take classes with, all the dumbasses who cared more about football than books and things like that. You hated being around these idiots more and more every year. Even though you always wished you looked more built, you never let yourself work out or go to the gym. You didn't want to be anything like them.
Grinning, googled your roommates name excitedly and found an Instagram….
Your jaw dropped. This had to be a joke.
He looked just like every stupid muscle head jock you been trying to get away from! You, scrolled and scrolled, hoping your opinion would change, but every picture was just him at the gym, or faxing, or at some party scene like a beach. He was really hot, but you didn’t really want a hot roommate, you just wanted a cool roommate.
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You sighed, closing your laptop. There was no sense stressing about it now. You couldn’t really tell how a person was from a picture, anyway. Maybe he was a cool guy who just happened to work out.
But then school started, and your roommate was worse than you imagined- an annoying, pompous jock who thought he knew everything. All he talked about was lifting, dumb motivational sayings, and partying. He wasn't actually dumb- but that just somehow made it worse. It just added to his smug, superior attitude knowing he wasn't a typical dumb jock- and he loved to hear himself talk, always went on and on about everything to show you how much he knew. He wasn't even that douchey- he was just annoying as hell, always thinking he knew more and better, always acting like this great person so people would think that about him. He was even hotter in person, until he opened his mouth at least and the dumbest shit you ever heard seemed to come out of it without fail every time. Now, every time he spoke, he rolled your eyes and automatically tuned him out. It was the only way you could bear having to room with him.
It was awful at first, but the year is going by pretty fast. Before you knew it, winter break was here you were busy packing the last few things to head home. Ironically, you were as excited about going home as you have been to arrive at college. You couldn’t wait to be by yourself, away from this idiot, and not have to hear him or hear about working out or anything like that for a couple of days. Suddenly, your phone dinged. You went to grab it, but your roommate was right next to it, so he passed it over to you. His eyebrows raised as he stared at the screen. “Shit, man.”
“What?” You said as you took the phone. It was a gmail notification.
FLIGHT CANCELLED.
Your stomach dropped. You were already leaving late because your last final had been on the last day the school was open, at the dorms and closed for break that night at midnight. You lived across the country.
“Fuck! What am I supposed to do now,” you said more to yourself and more out of frustration than to him. You didn’t even consider that his dumbass would have any ideas for you.
“Well, why don’t you come stay with me for a little while?”
You looked up at him, eyebrow raised and pretty surprised that he’d offer, till you remembered he was too dumb and clueless to realize how much you didn't like him. You wanted to tell him it was fine, no thanks… but you had no other options now, aside from maybe sleeping in the airport till the blizzard passed. That could be hours or even days, though
“You mean it?”
“Of course man! Look, I know we’re not like, best buds, or gym bros or anything like that, I’m not just gonna leave you stranded here. I’m heading out in like an hour. You can come stay at my place a night or two until you can figure out another flight.”
It wasn’t ideal, but like you’d already realized, you had no other choice right now. You packed the last of your things and put them in his car. The snow was already starting when you left, and came down harder and harder as you drove the 20 or 30 minutes over to his house. You were kind of scared sometimes, but he was actually a really good driver. Anytime this car slid or skidded even a little, it was like he knew exactly what to do to get it back on track. His big muscular arm bulged now and then as he gripped the steering wheel tight when the Jeep had fishtailed briefly a few times, and you caught yourself staring at it a little too long more than once. It was honestly really impressive to watch, you would’ve been freaking out if the car skidded at all like that, but he stayed totally calm. Maybe he did know a thing or two after all.
He already texted his parents and explanation of why you were coming, so they had a plate the food ready for you when you arrived. You weren’t that surprised to see the rest of his family was kind of like him. He had a brother who was like a little jock in training, and a Dad who was like a veteran jock. The conversation was pretty similar to what you’d expected – nothing really substantial, with each of them nodding dumbly every time one of them said something equally dumb.
Once dinner was done you headed upstairs with him.
"So, there's a guest room, but there's also a bed in my room that used to be my brothers. I think you should sleep in that one. It'll be a lot more comfortable."
"I dunno-"
"C'mon man! It'll be just like at school! Plus, there's a bathroom in there. Otherwise you have to share with the rest of my family," he said with a big dumb grin. You sighed. He was just so oblivious, but he had saved your ass letting you stay here, and you didn't want to be rude.
"Alright, fine," you said, heading into his room with him. You saw a picture of him and his brother on his dresser. They were identical. A gold chain necklace was draped over the frame.
"You guys were twins?"
"Yeah..."
"Where did he go?" you asked.
He shrugged. "Fell in love with some girl from another country. Out of the blue, he told us he was moving there with her. Had a big fight with me and my parents over it, and hasn't talked to anyone since. It really sucks. He was my main gym bro."
"Ah, that sucks," you said, not sure of what to say.
"Anyway, lets get to bed," he said, sliding his shirt and pants off. It was a shame he was so dumb, because you would have thought he was so sexy otherwise. He'd been right though- this bed was really comfy. You drifted off to sleep after a few moments, exhausted from packing.
He slid out of bed, opened the closet, and pulled a pair of his brother's old gym shoes out. They were so rank he could smell them from a couple feet away. He slid them under your bed quietly and stepped back, watching the smell seep into you. Your nose wrinkled at first, but he smiled when you started to draw slow, deep inhales of the scent. Then, he pulled his sweaty gym clothes out from earlier, wringing them out into a cologne bottle he left on the bathroom counter.
"Night night, future gym bro," he said, getting back under his covers.
You woke up the next morning feeling groggy and lethargic. When you opened your eyes, you saw him in the bathroom with the door open, doing the same morning routine he did at school. The thing was, you never really saw him do it that much, because you always avoided using the bathroom when he was in there, otherwise he'd start talking your ear off. He was washing his face. His thick muscles shifted with every slight movement. You knew he was showing off, but fuck was he sexy. It was early and you were still pretty groggy and horny and half-asleep, so much so that you found yourself staring at him, unable to look away. You felt like an asshole, suddenly. He'd invited you here in an emergency, and you'd been rude and judgmental the whole time. His chiseled abs contracted as he bent over the sink and scrubbed his face.
He must've felt your gaze on him, because he turned over to you. "Hey man," he said, "Yo. c'mere. You gotta smell this cologne I just got."
You rolled your eyes, but instead of being annoyed, you smiled. He was so cute, in a dumb way. You got up and walked into the bathroom, pulling your boner into your pants elastic so he wouldn't see it. It was good you did, because you felt your cock surge as he raised his arms and sprayed the cologne into his muscular pits.
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His biceps peaked as he did. He looked like a model. And the cologne smelled amazing. He noticed you watching him flex and smirked. "You like those, huh? Haha," he said with a laugh.
"Uh- yeah man, really cut... ha ha" you said, trying to play it cool.
"We could get your like that I think," he said, gripping your tiny arms with his big hands.
"Haha, no thanks," you said, stepping back. Still, the scent of the cologne drifted over to you. You had to admit, it smelled pretty good. Kind of familiar, too.
"C'mon man, why not?"
"The gym really isn't my thing."
"Have you ever even been?" he asked, giving his pits another blast of cologne.
"No. Just really not my thing," you said. You got another huge whiff of the cologne just as you turned away from the door. You stopped suddenly. Damn, it smelled good- like it was getting better and better by the second. You took a deep whiff. You didn't want to walk away from it.
"Yo, what brand is that?"
"It's an off brand," he said, "i dunno really."
"Can I try some?" you said, taking another deep inhale. The smell was invigorating. It made you feel like you were bursting with energy- energy you needed to release.
He smirked. "If you come to the gym with me, maybe."
You were about to say no, but you really, really wanted to try that cologne. Plus, you had so much energy now, you needed some way to burn it off. And what else would you do all day? Sit around with his weird family?
"Ok, fine," you said, "But I'm just doing the treadmill though. Maybe an eliptical."
He shrugged. "Everyone's gotta start somewhere. What matters is, we're finally gym bros dude!"
"I don't know about all that," you said with a laugh, going to put your shoes on. He was so dumb and easily pleased. Like, who gave a shit if you went to the gym with him or not? Why did it matter so much?
You frowned down as you tried to put your shoes on. For some reason, they seemed smaller. You could barley fit them on, like your foot had grown overnight or something.
"Hey man, i got you," he said, reaching under his brothers bed. He pulled a pair of gym shoes out for you. "These should fit."
You picked them up. They smelled familiar and nice, kind of like the cologne. You were really excited to wear them for some reason, and after you put them on, you felt even better about your decision to go to the gym. You rocked your legs back and forth, bursting with energy. "You ready dude?" you said.
"Lets get it," he said nodding you out the door. "Oh wait. Almost forgot." He reached into his bag and tossed the bottle of cologne over to you. "All yours, man," he said with a grin.
"Thanks bruh," you said, spraying a thick coating under your arms. You wondered why you were talking like that, but as the cologne filled your nose, the thought faded away.
You'd stayed on the treadmill for a while at first, but even there, you were shocked at how fast you could run without getting tired. His brother's old gym shoes were so broken in and cushioned that it felt like you were running on air. But you'd been watching him while he lifted, watching him while the cologne you drenched yourself in seeped into your nose. Running wasn't enough. You needed something to release more energy. You headed over to him, asking if you could join.
"Letssss gooooo, man!" he yelled excitedly, pulling you in for a bro hug. He was drenched in sweat that got all over your clothes. "Here, hit some curls with me," he'd said, handing you a dumbbell. It felt weird but... right in your hand, like you'd finally undergone some masculine right of passage you'd been putting off. You lifted it, but with terrible form.
"Nah man, like this," he said, springing up, and before you knew it he was behind you, his big frame dwarfing yours, and gripped your hands with his own, pushing them up into a proper curl.
"See man? Just like this. Up.... and down," he said slowly into your ear.
He did it a couple times. It felt nice, having him show you. He was a real nice guy, you thought, feeling his hands gripping you own. Your eyes started to glaze over- but when he left go, you immediately started overcompensating with your back. In a flash, he was behind you again.
"Nah bro. You're thinking too much," he said slowly. "Stop. Thinking." he said, gripping your hands again. You were about to tell him to fuck off, but the thought faded away suddenly as his skin touched yours. All your thoughts did, Your head became an empty vacuum.
"Up," he said slowly into your ear, lifting your arms.
Up. Yes. Up. The single directive rushed in to fill the entirety of your empty mind. Up. Up. Up.
He lowered them slowly, maintaining the tension. "And Down."
And Down. Yes. The other two words entered your brain, filling any gaps missed by Up. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down.
"Up. And Down.," he said in your ear. "That's all that matters. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down."
Your lips began to say the words slowly, matching your movements. Your eyes became totally glazed, and this time, when he let go, you didn't stop. You kept moving with the perfect form he'd just programed into you while he picked up his own dumbbells and lifted next to you moving in sync... it felt so.. nice... moving up...and down....up... and down...
You hadn't remembered much more after that till you were both in the locker room, drenched in sweat after a full workout.
"Great job, man," he said, pulling you in for a high-five hug again. Your sweaty bodies and pumped muscles rubbed against each other in the exchange.
"Thanks bro," you said, still invigorated from the workout. It felt fuckin great. And he'd been so great, showing you proper form for every move, correcting you, adjusting the weight for you. As you both left, you once again felt like an ass for being so rude to him all these months...
When you got home and showered, you felt something itchy under your arms. Checking it out, you noticed your pit hair had gotten a lot darker and thicker. You shrugged. You were almost a year younger than most of your classmates with the way your birthday fell. It must've been the final strokes of puberty, or something.
You headed into your roommate's room for bed. He was propped up in bed in just his underwear, massaging himself with a theragun, nearly moaning. You laughed as you looked at him. He smirked, realizing how funny it looked.
"Laugh all you want, dude, but if you tried it, you'd feel the same way."
"Lemme try then. I'm pretty sore from today already. I still can't believe you convinced me to do weights."
"Haha. I knew you had it in you bro," he said, walking over to you with the theragun. "Aren't you glad you did?"
"Yeah," you said honestly. It had actually felt surprisingly good.
"Letssss gooooo, man!" he yelled excitedly, pulling you in for a bro hug. "Good shit bro. The treadmill is for pussies. You gotta pump these guns, otherwise you're wasting time."
You were about to argue when the theragun hit your sore tricep. The thought slowly faded away as bursts of pleasure rippled out from your muscles. You fell onto the bed, overwhelmed by the feeling, but he kept the gun on you steadily the whole time, watching you squirm and moan. It didn't just feel like a massage, it felt like a whole other workout. You felt the blood pumping into your arms, felt them getting warmer as they bulged and swelled. It felt incredible. He moved around to your bicep, then shoulders, then upper back. He lifted your arms to get underneath them, and you thought you saw his eyes linger on your hairy pits, smiling at them, but you were too preoccupied to think about it. You weren't sure how long he kept at it, but by time he was done, you felt amazing.
"Woah, thanks brah."
"Anytime. Why don't you wash up? We gotta be up early to hit the gym."
"For sure bro," you said, standing up and heading to the bathroom. Yeah, you'd hit the gym again tomorrow. It wasn't even a question, really.
Your eyes widened as you stared in the mirror. You arms looked huge! They hadn't looked this big when you'd gotten out of the shower.
He noticed you admiring them. "It's the theragun, and the uh.... the hot shower. Gets the blood pumped into them. It'll probably be gone in the morning," he said.
"Oh...makes sense," you said, brushing your teeth and sliding into bed.
Once he heard you snoring, he slipped out of bed and grabbed his shaving cream, heading into the bathroom. He whipped his thick cock out and stared at a couple of bimbos getting fucked on his phone, shooting a hot, huge load right into the cream. He swirled it around with his finger, mixing it, then dabbed a bit onto his hand as he headed over to you. He gently spread it over your face, smearing the extra under your pits. Smiling, he went to bed.
You woke up the next day feeling sore and... itchy. You thought it was the pillow, but no matter how you moved, the feeling never went away. Blinking, you scratched at your face, where the feeling was coming from. Your hand met a rough surface. You felt around your face until you realized it was... stubble? But you'd only really had that above your lips. You felt more and more, but it was definitely there.
He looked over to the bathroom. He was up already, shaving in the mirror. He caught your eye again “Hey man. Sleep good?“
“Yeah man, but it looks like some of my facial hair came in overnight or something. It's all itchy.”
You scratched it again, but then thought another itchy, feeling coming out from under your arm. Lifting your arm, you noticed that your pit hair looked even thicker and darker than the night before. And despite what he said about the Theragun and shower, your arms still looked huge. You stare at your body, confused. That late puberty really was hitting you like a train.
"Hey bro, that’s just what happens when you get that testosterone pumping. Come here, I’ll take care of that for you. Just let me finish up.“
You approached as he lifted his chin, showing off his thick neck and sliding his shaver across it. It was strange to watch. You were the same age, and he looked so natural doing it, but it was something you'd never done before. You never had enough facial hair to.
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He turned to you, lifting your chin up with one finger, inspecting your stubble. He looked pleased for some reason. He grabbed a jar of shaving cream and opened it- but he hadn't used any? With his razor, he could shave dry, so why-
He smeared the shaving cream on your face, and the cool, minty feeling wiped the question from your mind. Your eyes drooped to his beefy pecs and six pack in front of you as he moved the razor softly over your skin. "You just go nice and slow, just like this," he said, shaving you delicately. Your heart beat faster. It felt weirdly... intimate. You guessed this was something Dad's or older brothers showed youhow to do, but you hadn't had one. You watched intently, trying not to shudder where his fingers grazed your skin. What was weird was, even as the razor removed the hair, it seemed to leave more stubble behind.. but... you liked it. You almost looked... hot. He kept going, till you had a thick 5 o clock shadow just like his.
"I'll let you finish up," he said, sliding you the shaved and shaving cream. "You should shave your pits too, brah. Makes lifting easier. Less irritation."
"Sounds good man," you said, smearing a thick coating of shaving cream onto your hairy pits. It tingled like before. Just like with your face, even though it removed the hair, it seemed to leave more hair follicles behind. You squinted at it. Probably just a trick of the light.
"Ready to hit the gym again?"
"Hell yeah," you said. "But I just have to check flights first-"
"Ah, you know, I was gonna check for you earlier, but our Wifi was acting up."
"That's cool. I can just check on my phone."
"Alright. But just get dressed first," he said, handing you his brothers shoes again.
You were going to tell him to just wait, but the sight of the shoes got you excited. You'd felt really good wearing them.
"Alright," you said, taking them and eagerly sliding them on. The second you tied them, you stood up, pumping your legs one after another. You felt ready to go!
"Oh. and don't forget the cologne. You don't wanna smell like sweat, ya know," he said with a laugh as he tossed you the bottle. It excited you, just like the shoes. You sprayed about ten or eleven sprays on you, letting the scent fill your nose. It smelled even better than the day before. You felt filled with energy, invigorated again, like you needed to get out and release it. But first you just had to... had.... to... look... at...... you................had................to..........look..........at......f....???
"Yo, was I gonna do something man?" you asked, brow hunching in the same confused, dumb way his usually did.
"Yeah. You were gonna wear my gym clothes since you don't have your own. You just asked like a minute ago, man, haha. Remember?"
"Ah, my bad," you said laughing. You'd really zoned out there, haha. You threw on the muscle tee and thigh shorts he tossed you. They must've been from a three pack or something, because he put on the same exact ones.
"Lets get it, brah," he said, slapping you on the back.
"Lets gooo!" you said back, and you guys headed out.
It was the same as the day before. You were doing shoulder presses awfully at first, feeling awkward and self concious, but then his hands were under your arms and his voice was in your ear.
"Up and down, bro. Up and down. That's all that matters. Let all those other thoughts, other things you know about go. They're just weighing you down. You only need to know three things, bro."
You nodded, eyes glazing over again. "Up. And Down," you said, pressing the weight overhead cleanly. "Up. And Down," you repated, sinking into a smooth rhythm of presses. He stood next to you again, lifting at the same time as you. You felt yourself sweating all your thoughts out, getting dumber by the second. You knew you should stop but- buuu- u- up....
Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down.
He took you through a bunch of other exercises, reminding you whenever he saw you lose focus. Up. And Down. Up. And Down. Up. And Down.
You both got home an hour or two later, still panting and dripping with sweat from your lifts.
"That was sick, bro," he said, peeling his wet shirt off and bouncing his pecs in the mirror.
"Yeah, I feel great," you said, starting to peel the muscle tee off. It was tight, even before your pump, like it had been clinging to you throughout your workout, warming your chest. Now, it was tight because your chest seemed a lot bigger.
"Chest day best day!" He inhaled deeply. "Ah, you smell that bro? I missed that smell. When me and my twin would get back from the gym, this room would stink up in like 30 seconds and reek for days. Its been a while."
"Damn, it does reek in here," you said with a dumb laugh.
"Breathe it in. That's the smell of hard work, bruh."
You both took a deep inhale, laughing. It was so good having a friend to be a stupid guy with.
"Yeah, man," you said, finally managing to peel the shirt off. Your chest looked huge, wide, and puffy. Almost exactly like his... that was... weird....but they looked so... so... good... just like your shoulders you'd hit that day... and your back.... your lats looked like... like wings... wings..... flight.... wasn't there something you were supposed to do with a fligh-
You let out a gasp that turned into an "ahhhhhh" as he hit your sore muscles with the theragun. Part of you was realizing what was happening. You were still smart- somewhere in there. You were... you were somehow turning into him, literally. You tried to think about how, but it hurt. All the blood your brain was used to was flowing into your shoulders and chest as he massaged them. Thinking felt... bad... but... what was in the mirror looked... good.... yeah. You looked fucking good, like this. Yo.... you looked so good haha. Thinking.... bad.... lifting.... good... blood in... muscles.... not in.... brain.... lift.... more... get... sexier.
You felt energy surge through you again. Instinctually, you flexed in the mirror the way he did in the morning, grunting and scrunching your face. Toned muscle bulged under your skin as more and more blood and oxygen left your brain and poured into your muscles. You looked big, but you still felt small. You needed to get bigger... it felt.... urgent... like any time you spent not working out was time wasted. Your thoughts faded as he moved the theragun over you and your chest. It almost was like an exact replica of his.
Your eyes moved to him.
Gym.... bro.... love my.... gym.... bro.... love my..... bro.... wanna.... workout.... with my... bro
"Yo, it's still pretty early bro. You think we could lift again tonight, after dinner?"
"That's what I'm talkin about man," he said, slapping you on the back. "Love seeing you finally motivated to get in the gym and work on yourself."
"Feels great, dude," you said, hitting another pose in the mirror, staring at your muscles. Bigger.... need to.... get.... bigger...
"I told ya so."
"I know. I should've listened earlier. You're so smart, man."
"Haha, thanks man. Lets go get our protein in so we can get out there again. I'll go make our shakes. You shower first man- you stink," he said with a laugh.
"Haha," you said, lifting your pit and taking a big whiff of it. You did reek, but it smelled good, in a way. Like a sign of your hard work.
"Damn bro. I'm gonna need a gas mask in here," he joked, laughing as he walked out.
You laughed back. Joking with your bro was the best. You got into the shower, feeling all the new muscle in your body move under your skin. Feeling its power. The hot water just exacerbated it. You felt big- strong- but needed to get bigger- stronger- the thought was constant.
But- this wasn't... you?
You didn't... care about this stuff.
No.
This was all wrong. What were you doing lifting, focusing on superficial shit like this? What were you doing hanging around with this idiot? No- you had to get out of here. You'd be polite to him, but as soon as you got out of the shower, you'd book a flight for the next day. Enough of this! You'd been getting swayed by a pretty boy being nice to you, and it needed to stop.
He came in with the protein shakes just as you got out of the shower.
"Here you go man," he said, handing it to you. "Gave you a little extra," he said with a wink. Your glass had a little more in it than his did.
"Thanks dude," you said, putting it down. Fuck him and his protein shakes! "I'll have it in a minute. I just remembered I need to look up flights."
"You should really drink it first," he said, handing it back to you. "It's best to drink it as soon as possible. You don't wanna stay small, do you?"
Small? Small? No- never small- big- need to be big- big- huge- need- protein-
"Fuck no," you said suddenly, and before you could stop yourself you were grabbing it and gulping it down. It tasted good. Creamy. Really creamy.
"Damn that's good," you said, cheersing with him when he finished his. It was like you could feel the protein seeping through your body, repairing you. It felt so good. You felt confused, though.
"Yo, was I about to do something?" you asked.
"Yeah man. We were gonna do our meal preps for the rest of break. I'm so glad you decided to spend break here to focus on working out instead of going home with your family," he said.
"Huh? No, no, something with my phone..."
"Yeah man, remember? You were gonna tell your family you weren't gonna make it home this year. You really wanted to see them, but you didn't wanna waste a whole month away from your gym bro when you could be learning from me & making gains. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah yeah," you said. That made sense. Why else would you be here "Hell yeah man! Three solid weeks of nothing but lifting with my bro. No stupid classes or reading to distract us from what matters."
"Exactly man," he said, "C'mon, lets go make our meals for the week. Chicken broccoli and rice city!" You did, then headed to the gym.
You did legs this time.
"Just remember," he said as you got under the squat rack.
You nodded vacantly, feeling your mind slowly emptying again of everything except those three words. Up. And Down. Up. And Down.... Up ... And.... Down....
The next thing you knew you were grunting and dripping sweat as you boosted the 6 plates on your last rep up. Your legs were throbbing, bulging, and felt amazing. They looked bigger already, and you'd only done 4 sets of one exercise. He nodded approvingly.
You both got back from the 2nd round at the gym a couple hours later, scarfing your meals down out of your microwavable meal prep trays.
"Yo, did you see all those pussies on the treadmill staring at us?" you laughed.
"Of course man," he said, laughing back. "That's all they can do," he said as he flexed his huge, pumped muscles. "Stare and wish they were us."
"Feels good," you said, scarfing down your food. Both of you ate like pigs, spilling rice and shredded chicken all over your laps and the sides of your mouths. He went to get your protein shakes, and came back a few minutes later, once again with yours a little bit more full and creamy than his. Extra supps, he told you. When you were done, you cracked open the six pack his Dad had bought for you guys and started slamming them down while watching Family Guy, both laughing dumbly every couple minutes at it. You used to hate this show... but it was so funny! You'd just never given it a chance.
About 2 hours later, with empty beer cans strewn all around the room, you guys decided to get to bed. He went into the bathroom first, brushing his teeth and whipping his dick out to take a long, hot piss in the toilet. His eyes flickered over to your toothbrush, and he smiled. Grabbing it, he dropped it in front of his stream of piss, making sure to soak it thoroughly before putting it back in the holder.
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You came in once he was done and started brushing your teeth. Your toothbrush felt warm and tasted kind of funny, thank you, fuck it. You instinctually swallowed it as the taste hit your tongue, sucking it deep in to your stomach. It felt like your stomach was rumbling, then tightening, then pushing out, then tightening again. When you were done brushing your teeth, you lifted your shirt up to reveal a nice set of toned abs just like his. You smiled. Damn, he was a really good coach.
You stared into the mirror, reflecting on how much you'd changed over the last few days. You smiled dumbly, hitting pose after pose in the mirror. In pretty much everything but your face, you looked just like him now. Your arms were thick and corded, your pecs sat nice and high, your legs were ripped, stomach shredded. Even your feet had gotten bigger, going from a size 8 to a size 13, just like his, and you'd grown a few inches, too. Wait... taller? You didn't get taller from the gym...
...
...and why were you his exact height?
You threw open the bathroom door.
"Yo, what's going on here?"
"What do you mean, bro? Chill."
"Nah man. Are you like, turning me into you or some shit? This isn't cool, bro," you said, struggling to talk like how you used to, before "bro" and "man" and "bruh" were every other word?
He smiled. "Into me? Of course not. You could never be me. But I am making you into my twin brother, bro. Haha."
"Well it stops now, weirdo. I'm outta her-"
He grabbed your arms, pulling them towards your head, forcing you to flex. You let out a moan as blood pumped out of your brain, into your sore muscles. It felt so good. So warm... so.... relaxing. But, no, you had to leave – he turned you towards the mirror, showing you your reflection as you flexed. You gave a dumb smile at the hunk staring back at you, at all your hard work- no, he wasn’t gonna get you like this again---
"Just look at yourself, bro," he said slowly massaging your thick traps. Waves of heat flowed over you- no– you had to- leave. He bent down, lifting your leg onto the ball of your foot. Your thick calf muscles contracted, stealing more blood from your brain, pumping more down into your body. It felt so good after a long workout. So good. So waaaaarm, you thought while he bent you into pose after pose like his mannequin and you stared in awe at what you'd become. You were.... hot.
"You’re telling me you don’t like this, bro? That you'd rather be a little nerdy bitch like before?"
It– it felt so… Good... you looked so… Good... you look like… Someone you would’ve thirsted after for months before .. you... loved it. It felt good. Before you knew it, he'd taken his brother's chain off the dresser and fastened it around your neck.
Your mind instantly blanked as he did it. What the fuck were you thinking? Leaving? When he was fucking turning you into a god for free? What kinda ungrateful piece of shit loser was the old you? Nah, he wanted nothing to do with that shit. You were lucky to be here.
"I was gonna wait until we were done to do this to you, but since that nerd in you has so much fight apparently, we can just get it over with now. It doesn’t really matter," he said.
"You want to act like a fag? I’ll treat you like a fag, boy," he said grabbing your head and rubbing it against his bulge. His big. Warm.. bulge... Your eyes glazed even more. "That's right, broski. Tell me how you really feel."
He was fucking sexy. You tried to lie to yourself all year and tell yourself that you didn’t like him, that he was annoying, that he was an idiot. But still, you stared at him whenever you could, every time he'd come into the room with his towel... take a peek every time he was in his boxers. Pretended you didn’t like him and denied it. But you did. You hated the girls that he brought back to the room because you wished it was you in there, getting pounded out by him, or maybe you wished you were him, getting to be such a stupid fucking asshole and still getting all the ass you wanted. He must’ve felt like a king.
You suddenly realize'd that you said all this out loud. Your mouth dropped open in surprise- but- how...
"Good, good. Now tell me, wouldn’t it feel nice if someone felt that way about you, boy?" Your eyes lit up.
"Me?"
"Yeah you. You’re going to be a God just like me boy. And I get the gym bro! Everyone wins."
You nodded slowly as he pulled his cock out, rubbing it against your face. Yeaaaaaah. Jock cock. You'd always loved jock cock when you'd been.... gay? No, you weren't gay... you'd never been gay. This was just bonding with your bro, haha.
Your tongue lapped up the precum off the tip of his dick. He shuddered, his cut, muscular hips thrusting instinctually. Your mouth opened just as automatically, sucking his cock. It felt so easy to hold yourself up with your new, big muscles as he pounded your mouth. His balls slipped out of his boxers, slapping you in the face as he thrust into you. They smelled great.
"Ahhhhhh yeah," he said, grabbing your hand and placing it on his tight ass. You gripped it, feeling the power from years of squats in it. "We got one more step left, broski. Tomorrow we're gonna put my facecream and gel on you and fix that busted face and wack haircut of yours. You’ll look just like me, bro. And you'll love it. I want that nerd inside of you watching while I snuff the last of him out- well, while you do it, really. He'd hate you so much, now," he said, pulling you off his dick and turning you towards the mirror again. "Look at you now, just a dumb jock big boy."
You smiled goofily in the mirror, flexing again at the sight of yourself. "Dumb jock big boy". The words resonated in your brain. Yeah, dumb jock big boy you thought, flexing harder. Hahaha. No- you weren't a jo- dumb jock big boy. Hahahaha. Yeah, you were just a dumb jock big boy- no- no- you were smar... just a dumb jock big boy. No matter what else you tried to think, it was the only thing your mind would land on. You flexed even more. You couldn't help it. Your body looked... so.... fucking... good. You felt like a ... man. Brutish. Powerful. You had muscles... big... muscles.... you couldn't stop staring... you fely so... powerful... needed... more powee. Needed... to get bigger. Needed... to be a msn not a cyck beta loser.
"That's it. Who's my dumb jock bro?"
"Me," you said proudly.
"I thought you were too good for that shit tho? Too smart?"
"Nah," you said.
"Damn boy, I trained you good."
"Yes. Showed me what matters. Need to get bigger," you said in a trance. Any resistance felt far away now. You couldn't really talk in complete sentences anymore. "Bigger. Stronger. More powerful."
"We will get you there, bro," he said, sliding your mouth back onto his cock. We're going to get you there, together. Plus, then we can be reeeeaaal bros! Like, bros for real. We can tell my parents my bro came back. You can just enroll in school and come back with me. It'll be like he never left. And you actually get to be something, instead of being a dumb nerd. Everyone wins!"
You nodded. Real bros. He was like your brother already, kinda. Yeah.
"I love you bro," you said.
"I love you to bro- ahhh- AHhhhhhh"
You felt his legs tense and back arch a little, and a blast of his cum shot down your throat, then another, then another. The necklace got hot around your neck as you swallowed them. You gulped each down, feeling your body absorbing them, feeling him seep into you, take you over, and crush any chance you had of turning back. Yeah. Good. You didn't want to turn back. You didn't want the nerd loser in you to take control. This was you now. You were in control.
He thrust into you a couple more times as you licked the last of his cum off his cock. He tapped the back of your head twice approvingly as you finished him off and slid his cock out of your mouth.
"See you in the morning, bro. You won't remember this part tomorrow. You'll just wake up, see my putting my moisturizer on and gel in, and come to do the same. Like I said, I want that nerd inside you watching while we complete your transformation, wanting to stop it, but unable to. Because this," he said, placing your hand on his bicep, and placing your other hand on your own bicep, "just feels too good."
You nodded dumbly. "I love you, bro" was all you could say.
"Love you too, bro. Goodnight!"
You woke up the next morning, just as he said, to see him putting the moisturizer all over his face and styling his hair. You walked over, asking him if you could use some. He looked so good. You just really wanted to use whatever he used.
"Sure thing, bro. What's mine is yours."
He passed it to you. You took a thick glob out, smearing it on your face. It tingles a little bit as you put it on, like the shaving cream head. Part of you was yelling, no, that you didn't like this, that you wanted to keep your old life, that you didn't want to be his twin and give up everything you had, but that voice was quiet now. It was drowned out by the demands of your big, hulking body, your shrinking brain, the testosterone pumping through you, and the burning desire you know how to get bigger and look good, constantly. The old you needed to go. No matter how hard it tried, it couldn't stop you from rubbing the cream in deeper and deeper. Had... to... look.... good... you thought as you ran a big glob of his white gel through your hair.
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You both watched, smiling, as your face bubbled and changed and your hair lightened and shortened, perfectly matching his, erasing the final part of you. His brothers Your chain got hot around your neck as a bunch of his brother's your old memories floated into your head. All the details of his your life, everything you needed to know to convince his your parents that he'd you'd come back home.
"It's so great to have you back, bro," your roommate brother said. "I been so lonely at the gym," he said flexing in the mirror.
"Good to be back, bro," you said, hitting the same pose.
His real brother never did end up coming back. You lived happily ever after as a dumb jock big boy, hitting the gym with your bro everyday.
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lavendermunson · 1 year
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can't help it if i wanna kiss you in the rain - steve harrington
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summary based on this lovely anon! thank you for your request, I hope you like it.
tags best friends to lovers. mutual pinning. mentions of weed. Eddie been Eddie and Erica being Erica. season 4. mention of starcourt but nothing else related to the upside down happens. slight use of y/n, sorry. a little bit of angst and then pure fluff. if i missed anything please tell me.
w.c 2.4k
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You are so upset.
You couldn’t fall asleep on the plane. They only had snacks with nuts on them. The juice boxes were gone.
You just want to avoid everyone, specifically Steve. 
He didn’t answer your letters for over two weeks, he stopped calling you every night to tell you all about his day and you… you were so upset you couldn’t enjoy the warm welcome your friends had prepared for you.
Life after the Starcourt incident wasn’t easy. Moving away from all the things, from all the people you love, it was destroying you. Jonathan found friends, Will and El do stuff without you all the time. You missed home, you missed your friends, your best friend.
The ride to Steve’s house is short, unfortunately. As Nancy gets out of the car to grab his boyfriend’s hand, Will, El, and Mike make sure to greet Dustin and Lucas at the door. Robin runs to you and hugs you, a warm big smile forms on your lips, she knows something is wrong from the moment your body stays still for a couple of seconds before hugging her back.
“You okay?” she asks, you can’t lie to her but you can’t rant about Steve and how upset you are because it would ruin everyone’s day. Half of the group came back all the way from California.
“I’m okay, Robs. Don’t worry” You take a step back, not dropping your hands from the sides of her arms and squeezing them. “You, young lady, you need to tell me all about Vickie”
She laughs, her cheeks light pink as the color of your skirt. You can’t stop a giggle from coming out of your lips, but as soon as you see him… your body goes stiff again and Robin rushes inside the house to get a drink before spilling everything about her crush.
But there he is. His gray almost blue polo shirt hugs his chest flawlessly. The last two buttons remain unbuttoned and the best friend chain you share with him shows up, resting on his hairy chest that moves up and down as he breathes. His hair, amazing as it is, has a life of itself and it’s beaming as well as his face. You are sure he is wearing the tightest jeans ever but you fight everything in yourself not to look down, as you fight with the same strength and keep your arms to yourself.
He whispers, "Hi" and locks his gaze on you, asking for a hug.
“Hey,” you say, not moving an inch and he finds it odd. Before you moved away you loved his hugs, his arms around you embracing you while your face rested on his chest, so close to his neck that your nose used to catch the scent of his cologne and a hint of cigarettes. Your hips will bump with his and- NO, STOP STOP.
“Are you okay? You look-”
He tries to speak with the same calm as always but it’s impossible. He feels something is different and he can’t wrap his head around it. You interrupt him, bumping your shoulder into his arm and running upstairs mumbling the dumbest excuse ever. 
“I- I need to, uhm, go to the bathroom” 
Steve doesn’t say anything. He figures you need some space or you are tired from the flight. He reunites with the others in the kitchen and gets introduced to Argyle who is talking to Eddie about something. 
He watches you come back, you are holding your best friend's necklace with your fingers, you usually do that when you are nervous. Steve's eyes focus on you and you turn around, going straight to the living room where the others are. Panic settles over his chest and no one seems to notice. 
Eddie is quick to hit his shoulder slightly with his palm and nods to the living room, telling Steve to join the others.
The living room is filled with voices and chuckles. You talk to everyone about your new school, your new house. Everyone pays attention to all the California Shenanigans.
Steve is focused on you, with a frown on his face and yes, you’ve noticed. It took you possibly five minutes to feel his confused gaze over you, but you decided to ignore it. You ignore him as he ignored you when you were away. You keep talking to Erica about her winning the campaign and Eddie joins the conversation making Steve… jealous.
“Guys! Guys. You all talk like you haven’t seen each other in ten years, I get it, but I still need to meet the rest of you!” A high Argyle speaks up, earning everyone’s attention “Can we just have a quick chat?”
“There is something we have to do outside, but you guys chat!” Dustin says as every single one of the kids follows him except Erica.
“Erica, let the grown-ups talk”
A choir of “boos” and “we are not that old” makes Lucas jump, he rolls his eyes and goes out joining his friends in the backyard.
“What? They are going to do a nerdy thing I'm not interested in” Erica replies, looking at everyone in the room.
“Erica, you play dragons and… what is it? castles?” Argyle says.
“Dungeons and dragons, man!” Eddie corrects him and hits him with his elbow. They quickly became friends and it’s hilarious to see them interact.
“You guys are soooo high,” you say. Eddie, who remains by your side, quickly bumps his knuckle softly against your chin, earning a giggle from you.
“What? Do you want a joint, sweetheart? He teases, and you roll your eyes.
“She’s not into that” Steve scoffs, peeking at the interaction that has his head hurting for quite a while now.
“What? She totally is. Bro, remember that time when you got so high you poured your milkshake on Jonathan and Ms. Byers thought he threw up on himself?” Argyle’s confession takes you by surprise, Jonathan laughs remembering and describing the incident to everyone. 
The room fills with chuckles one more time. Steve feels a knot in his throat and you try to keep your face away from him.
“I had to tell my mom she tripped, it was a fun day actually,” the older Byers says.
“That reminds me, one time Steve had a date and I accidentally spilled my jar of fresh cherry jam on him. He spent the rest of the shift with his legs wrapped in a towel while his jeans were drying up!” Robin tells the funny story and that’s when you look at Steve. 
Your mind starts wandering. He had a date, maybe he had a girlfriend already and that’s why he was so busy.
“Was that the same girl I saw you with at the movie theater?” Nancy asks.
“Nope, that was Heather and the other one was Heidi” Robin answers, Steve looks away from you, embarrassed. 
Jealousy starts to get its way through your head. Your breath quickens and you start to get more furious.
“And what happened with Linda?” Nancy asks again.
“Can you guys just drop it?” Steve starts to get annoyed. “We just kissed, that is all”
“Fuck this” you mumble, the only one hearing you is Eddie.
“Woah, are you okay? Eddie notices your face, red with anger and your eyes glassy.
“Can everyone just stop asking if I’m fucking okay?”
Your voice shakes and you storm out of the room. The rest watches you go and Steve panics, but doesn’t move.
“Are you stupid?” Erica speaks, making Steve wake up as she is talking to him.
“What?”
“Oh please, you love that girl and you idiots had to mention all of his dates. She is clearly jealous, even I can see it”
“Erica!” Steve raises his voice but she doesn’t get upset.
“Just the facts! Don’t be a moron Steve”
And that’s what it took. An 11-year-old shit-talking to Steve for him to realize he had to fix this.
He gets up and before he opens the door, Robin grabs his hand stopping him.
“Don’t- don’t lie to her and do not try to push her away” She squeezes his hand before dropping it. “You’ve been miserable without her, don’t make another mistake"
Steve nods, opening the door, and walks to the street to find you, you are walking as quickly as possible but the cold rain slows you down as you hug yourself and walk.
Alone. Annoyed. Jealous. Furious.
“Y/n! Please come back”
An agitated voice makes your ears ring. It’s him, his voice was so recognizable that it was impossible to ignore it. You turn around, making an effort to not run toward him and cry for him, begging him to love you.
You’ve never cried over a boy because you’ve always been in love with your best friend, Steve.
“Please just listen” he begs, the rain starts to calm down as if the sky knows something is about to happen.
“What do you want?”
“I want to talk to you! You have been avoiding me all day and it’s making me crazy. I’m sorry you had to hear all of that” he slurs his words as he tries to ease his breath.
"Are you only apologizing for having dates?"
“No, no. I know ignoring you was wrong, I know trying to push you away was so shitty of me”
You keep your arms crossed against your chest. You keep shivering from the cold of the rain. Your clothes are all soaked and sticky.
“And?”
“And? I’m sorry, I'm sorry. But you didn’t have to act like such a jerk to me, not when I haven't seen you for so long. You know you can talk to me!”
“It’s all good, I wish you would talk to me too but it's too late. Bye now"
“Wait, wait”
“What do you want, Steve?” you shake your head. “Please, enlighten me. What is it? I want to go home. I want to get out of these clothes and curl up in my bed. Just leave me alone alright”
“You are unbelievable”
“What?”
“You know the phone works both ways right?”
“I didn’t need the phone. I sent you a bunch of letters you didn’t read. Sorry to bother you with all of that you couldn’t even open one”
“I read all of them. I'm sorry i didn't reply to them... but now I know you are hiding a lot of things. Tell me, was one of your letters going to mention you smoke weed and hang around god-knows-where while you are high?”
“Oh my god, Steve. That was one time” you sigh. You couldn’t believe he was telling you all of this as if you did something wrong “You were the one ignoring me, remember? Being too busy with girls you couldn’t pick up the phone, what were you doing, Steve? 
“They were just dates, nothing happened! I would’ve told you if… I don’t know”
“Well, I had a date too,” you say. It’s not a lie, you did have a date with some guy named Dave, it didn’t go well because let’s be honest he wasn’t Steve. “And I would’ve told you too but it looked like you didn't care”
“You had a date? So you have a boyfriend now or what?” he asks, his fists clenching. His knuckles are white, and his face glows red.
“Why are you getting so upset about it?” you notice a shift in his voice, he looks too angry for some weird reason.
“You have a boyfriend”
“I don’t have a boyfriend. And if I had one, why do you care? You are the one going on hundreds of dates” A laugh comes out of your lips, but your heart is aching.
“Because the dates were a distraction! A distraction that didn't work because no one is... no one is as perfect and beautiful as you, and it kills me, you know?” 
You get confused, he starts to get closer. Your tears start to mix with the drops of rain, your sight becomes blurry.
“I like you! Fuck, I love you!” he speaks, defeated and with a hand over his chest, right over his heart. “I have loved you since I met you, I’m sorry I was such a jerk for hiding it but I thought you deserved someone so much better than me and I didn’t-” 
He gets cut off by your lips on his. It was everything he needed, he is everything you wanted. The kiss is short but it’s filled with all the pent-up emotions, all the years of waiting, all the lingering hugs and him “casually” always keeping a hand over you.
His lips are soft, he gets a taste of your strawberry chapstick and smiles over your bottom lip. You wrap your arms around his neck, pushing your bodies together.
“I like… I love you too, Steve” you say, his eyes focused on your lips as his hands rest on your waist. “I was hiding it too, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry we had to fight and, I-”
“It’s fine” he whispers, the drops of rain make his hair fall to his forehead, you are quick to brush it away from his face with your fingers, and he doesn’t mind.
“It’s not, we could’ve sorted this out sooner but I was scared– scared that if I told you, you were going to reject me”
“I thought you were going to reject me. Dreaming about you with me every night was better than thinking about losing you, so I was hiding it” he brushes his nose against yours. “But I don't have to hide it anymore. I love you. You love me. God, please tell me you are not joking”
“I’m not joking, Stevie. I love you”
His favorite nickname makes an appearance, he smiles as it’s been a long time since he hasn't heard it.
 “I love you too, baby”
The new pet name makes your heart flutter and he wants to kiss you again, but the rain doesn’t seem to stop and you are both shivering.
“Let’s get in before you catch a cold,” he says, taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. You walk with him back to his house, your body immediately feels calmer as you get closer to him and hug him. 
“I missed you”
“I missed you too, don’t you dare think i’m letting you leave my house today”
“Wasn’t planning on it”
He grins, you giggle. The girl of his dreams is finally with him, nothing could ruin his mood since that day.
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feedback is appreciated don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! you can request something like this and I'd be happy to write it. ♡
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fryingpan1234567 · 7 months
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listen I knowwww Roach should be British. he was on a British task force. he’s got the flag on his uniforms. but when @fixfoxnox said southerner Roach I just couldn’t not love him okay leave me alone
anyways. southerner Roach shenanigans
(I guess you could call this a Something in the Orange fanfic since he’s besties with Jackson in this scenario as well as dating Ghost and Soap……… but it’s general enough it’s probably fine ANYWAYS)
Roach’s accent, while it normally only lightly flavors a few of his words, gets considerably thicker when he’s visiting home
I mean like he does the thing southerners do where they somehow mash entire sentences into one word and the others are just like “……….what” but Jackson is nodding like he understood
Like. They’re all at dinner together somewhere. Somebody brings up the rodeo at the state fair. The Europeans have no idea what they’re talking about. Roach just goes “y’ain’tneverheardadat??” and Soap nearly has a stroke trying to figure out what he meant but Jackson continues to eat soundly like he didn’t hear anything wrong
COWBOY👏 HAT👏 RULE👏
HELP
No no no they go to some random dive bar for one of their birthdays. It doesn’t matter whose. Jackson and Roach both have cowboy hats because OBVIOUSLY and like. They exchange this look that the others can’t figure out whenever one of their boyfriends steals their hat via flirting
(They tell them later and then can’t stop laughing while Soap and Ghost and Gaz are just sitting there like uh oh)
After that the hat stealing is very much purposeful
Square dancing to fucking Timber by Kesha and Pitbull in said dive bar because that’s just required idk what to tell you
Soap and Ghost seeing Roach ride a horse for the first time and visibly bluescreen
Roach recognizing people from high school in his hometown even tho he hasn’t seen them in like 20 years
He likes Taylor Swift but only her old country-adjacent stuff
Ghost and Soap couldn’t figure out his aversion to any kind of substitute milk until he took them home and they found out it’s because he grew up drinking milk that literally came from the cows he has in his backyard. They own two cows. And a few chickens. Very resourceful
Jackson and Roach dragging the 141 to Roach’s family’s Super Bowl party one year because in the southern states it’s a huge fucking deal
The Europeans being like “………this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life” but their boys are having fun so it’s okay
God help the rest of them. Jackson and Roach are rooting for opposite teams.
There’s screaming, there’s wrestling on the living room floor, there’s spilling food and beer everywhere. The amount of rubbing it in after a touchdown lands is fucking crazy, and they’ve shouted about stabbing each other every single time
Eventually, maybe with a bit of googling, the others get into it. Soap hasn’t stopped shoving Mrs. Roach’s buffalo chicken dip in his face since he’d discovered it when they’d arrived, and Ghost was letting the kids use his tattoo like a coloring page while he chatted with Roach’s dad and brothers. Gaz kept getting elbowed in the ribs whenever Roach and Jackson tousled on the couch, and a couple times he was asked to hold Jackson’s beer so “I can kick some sense into this dipshit,” usually followed by Roach’s maniacal cackling. Price was banging around in the kitchen with Mrs. Roach. Nobody knew how he’d gotten dragged into that, but he seemed to be enjoying himself
On the topic of bringing the boys home to the fam oh my GODS thanksgiving
Ghost is not a dessert person. He’s never been a dessert person. But he had four slices of Mr. Roach’s apple pie, so,,,,,,,,, apparently he is actually a dessert person
Obvi Roach is good with all guns, but he was hunting with his dad and brothers by the time he was like six. He knows how to work a shotgun like he breathes
(Ahem being southern is why he’s so fucking stubborn btw if anyone was wondering)
Roach and Jackson both are religious Dolly Parton listeners
“DID U GUYS KNOW SHE WROTE JOLENE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ON THE SAME DAY—“
Ghost and Soap wake up one night because there’s a weird noise outside. They poke Roach awake like “???? what was that??” and he was just like “oh yeah the woods make noises sometimes. don’t worry about it. if something actually wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t hear it coming” and promptly passed back out
“Yea I’ve seen a skinwalker before” “FYM YOU’VE S E E N O N E ? “ “It was in my backyard?? Relax it just wanted the coyote that always tries to kill our chickens. I didn’t really mind”
Gaz suggests investigating a weird figure he saw in the woods. Roach laughs out loud and Jackson smacks him in the back of the head like “that’s how you fucking die you idiot”
“Y’all’re lucky we’re here to stop you from doing somethin’ stupid. Fuckin’ city slickers” “What did you just call me”
The deafening sounds of crickets and locusts puts Roach to sleep almost instantly every night. Ghost barely sleeps every time they visit.
”IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD IF ONE MORE BLOODY CRICKET—“ “Simon not everyone needs literal dead silence to sleep—“
No matter how many pillows he stacks on top of his head he can’t escape it
Oh. Oh. The Europeans CANNOT do southern heat. They’re passed out on the porch while Jackson and Roach and Roach’s brothers play football in the front yard
Roach makes killer lemonade and iced tea nobody talk to me
He has a rusty blue ancient pickup that he says is his baby. One of the wheels is misshapen and the bed squeaks dangerously every time they hit a pothole, but he won’t get rid of it EVER
Roach introduces Soap and Ghost to catching fireflies in jars with his nieces and nephews. They are. So in love with the concept.
It gets turned into a competition, because of course it does, and it looked like Ghost was going to win— but then the youngest of the participating children silently held up a jar that was too bright to look at and audibly buzzing from the amount of bugs inside of it. They cut their losses and embrace the fact that they’ll never be That Good
Southern👏 sunsets👏 there ain’t nothing like it
Soap has a sketchbook dedicated entirely to doodling Roach doing farm things
Roach had a horse he took care of in high school. Her name was Peaches and he literally cried when he found pictures of her in his room
Ghost LOVES the sweet old border collie Roach’s parents have. That dog has seen many a stampede, and he’s herded just as many. What a man. Ghost does not leave him alone Ever
gods fuck me bro I could literally talk about southern Roach F O R E V E R (idk if you can tell from the long ass post Jesus Christ)
good morning/ night/ 4am lmk if you want more of this
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hrh-prince-butt · 1 year
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alex and henry plan to dress up as barbie and ken for an upcoming costume party, but they can't seem to agree on who should be barbie and who should be ken...
(hello this is possibly the dumbest thing i've ever written, and i have no regrets, it was so much fun to write)
-
“You can’t deny the Kenergy, babe.” 
“You’re right,” Henry shoots back. “I can’t. And if anyone has it, it’s you.” 
Alex crosses his arms and glares stubbornly at Henry. Henry glares right back, just as goddamn stubborn. Looks like they’re in a stalemate. 
There was no argument that they absolutely had to dress up as Barbie and Ken for their couples costume this year. It had practically been telepathically agreed upon before they even left the cinema. Apparently, the hard part is agreeing on who should dress up as who.
Alex had thought it was obvious that he should be Barbie. But when he brought up speculations about his costume - should he copy an outfit from the movie or figure out something of his own? - Henry had frowned and said he thought he was supposed to be Barbie. 
“Just face it, sweetheart,” Alex says, patting Henry on the shoulder. “You are clearly the Ken to my Barbie.” 
Henry huffs. “How am I the Ken to your Barbie?”
“Well.” Alex leans back on the couch and gestures to himself. “I’m the successful career person, and you are my hot blond accessory. Obviously.” 
“Unbelievable,” Henry says. He sounds genuinely offended. “David, are you hearing this?” David the Beagle lifts his head lazily at the sound of his name, but finding no imminent threat and no promise of treats, he goes back to napping on the couch. 
“All this time,” Henry goes on, and Alex can tell he’s really amping up the theatrics now, probably working up to a dramatic monologue of some kind. “I thought you liked me because of my intelligence, my wit. I thought I was more than just a pretty face, but no. Apparently I’m just some attractive himbo boytoy to you. Utterly unbelievable.” 
He punctuates this absolute scene with a very undramatic bite of chocolate chip cookie. This batch is his third attempt, and Alex has to admit they aren’t terrible. They are overbaked and therefore rock hard - Henry’s annoyed chewing can probably be heard halfway down the street - but they’re already miles better than the last batch. Alex thinks it best not to speak of the last batch.  
“I can’t believe you just called yourself a ‘himbo boytoy’.” Alex is wheezing with laughter, and Henry’s stubborn chewing, his failing attempt to look dramatically offended while crunching on a cookie the texture of a brick, only makes it harder to stop laughing. “Those are your words, not mine.” 
He deigns not to mention that while he has been busy with important law shit all week, Henry has been busy baking cookies. And being really bad at it. That’s definitely Kenergy. 
Henry sighs and washes down the remains of the tragic cookie with tea. “You’re not seeing my vision, love. You would really make an excellent Ken. And I would make an excellent Barbie.” 
“Damn,” Alex says. “We must already be in Barbie’s Dreamhouse because… uh. Keep dreaming.” 
“That… was a truly terrible comeback.” 
Alex sighs. “Yeah. They can’t all be winners.” 
Henry nods gravely. “I’d say this proves my point. You’re Ken, and I’m Barbie.”
It most definitely does not prove anything. “If you’re Barbie,” Alex says, “then you’re definitely Depression Barbie watching the Pride & Prejudice movie like a million times.” 
Henry apparently doesn’t have a response to that except indignant spluttering. Alex laughs so hard he wakes up David. He almost falls off the couch laughing when Henry responds with: “How dare you, I am clearly Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie!” 
Then they’re both laughing, while David watches them in utter confusion. 
“Alright,” Alex says once he has calmed down. “Fair enough. But we can’t both be Barbie!”
“Why not, though?” Henry counters. 
“It’s a couples costume!”
“Well,” Henry says. “Two Barbies can love each other! It’s the 21st century!” 
Alex tries to sigh but it comes out as more laughter. “Yeah, yeah,” he says. “Gay rights for Barbie or whatever. But two Barbies won’t be as recognizable as a couples costume. People will just think we’re two people who independently decided to dress up as Barbie!” 
“Alright.” Henry picks up his phone. “I’m settling this once and for all.” 
“What? Who are you calling?”
That question is quickly answered. The dial tone only rings twice before the call goes through, and Pez’s voice fills the living room. “Well, if it isn’t my second favourite disgraced royal. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Henry wastes no time on niceties. “Pez. Out of Alex and me, who is Barbie and who’s Ken?”
Pez doesn’t even take a moment to consider it. He just says, “Darling, you’re definitely Ken.” 
Ha! Told you, Alex mouths, his face lighting up in a vindictive grin. 
“That is the wrong answer,” Henry tells Pez, whose laughter comes out a little tinny through the phone speakers. 
“Oh come on, you know I’m right,” Pez says. “Or perhaps I just really want to see your boyfriend's magnificent arse in that Barbie-pink pantsuit. You know, the one Margot Robbie wears in the film?” 
More indignant spluttering from Henry. “Pez, you’re on speaker.”
“Oh good, I hoped I was,” Pez replies. “Hello, Alex! I look forward to seeing your Barbie costume. Do come to me if you need help putting it together. Toodles!"
And then he hangs up. Henry glares at the screen like he can magically will Pez to come back and take his side this time. 
“Well, you heard him,” Alex says, not even trying to hide his laughter. 
Henry huffs and shoves the phone back in his pocket. “Well, who made him the expert, anyway?”
“Pretty sure you did, when you called to get his opinion. To, you know-” Alex clears his throat and puts on his best Henry impression- “settle this, once and for all.” 
Presumably at a loss for words, Henry picks up another cookie and, with considerable effort, bites into it. There’s nothing more to say, anyway. They both know Alex has won. 
“Besides,” Alex says, holding up his phone to show Henry the transaction on the screen. “I already ordered the “I am Kenough” hoodie in your size, sweetheart.”
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fillinforlater · 1 year
Text
Loathing Love: Lavish Lies (Part 4)
Male Reader x Kwon Eunbi + Kang Hyewon x Jo Yuri
Length: 9060 words
Tags: emotional drama, smut, cheating, alcohol, rage, anger issues, bisexuality, girl x girl relationship, girl x girl action, threesome, literal breeding, mating press, face sitting, squirting, clit play, dirty talk, the dumbest, most improbable sex ever, this is NOT real life, very dark ending
TW: includes topics like cheating, alcohol, sex and death
Inspiration: "Look at Me" by XXXTENTACION, Hyewon x Yuri best ship, gay power couple; this had to be released in Pride Mont (glad I could make it lol), also @capslocked ; @iznsfw, I'm sorry.
(A/N: THE FINALE of my L4 Series. It's finally here. The promise is fulfilled. I hope you get the ending and don't hate me. It's all fiction.)
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“Look at me, fuck on me / Look at me, fuck on me / Look at me, fuck on me.”
Volume decreased by eighty percent. You don’t need someone screaming in your ears right now. It only makes you want to scream back. The poor guy has been dead for almost five years now, he doesn’t really deserve it. If you’re honest to yourself, he feels way too on point. Better turn the radio off entirely.
His voice still resonates in your mind, as you get out of the car. Combined with Hyewon’s and Yuri’s moans, they form an inglorious, deadly symphony to fuel your hatred. Visuals of you screaming, scratching, beating fragile, pale skin pop up in your mind. This wave of emotions, it’s crashing in on you like a tsunami. Sadly, it doesn’t bury you. It only makes you angrier.
Push open the door and Eunbi gasps. She kneels on the living room floor, right next to the carpet. Her clothes are in tatters, her knees covered in bruises, but worst of all, her face is ruined with scratches, blood and runny mascara. It looks like someone already did the things you imagined in your head: beat her up and left her whimpering on the floor. The punishment for someone who cheats and lies.
Grab Eunbi’s lifeless arm and pull it up. Your fiance begins to cry, she begs not with words but with her eyes. The way she shakes her head is in honest fear. The potential strikes scare her, how your palm will meet her face over and over again in a loveless, hurt beating.
But you sigh.
"I can't," you squeeze out, voice cracking with every word. "I hate seeing you like this. You deserve to be thrown out and beg for money on the street. But I can't, I—"
You pull Eunbi into a hug. Her small frame melts into your arms, her feet unable to support her. She is like a wet sack, surprisingly heavy. You're barely able to drag her to the couch and watch her whimper and cry, face hidden behind her elbow.
"I still love you, Eunbi.
"Let's try again."
"Y-yes," she sobs and tightly grabs your shirt.
"Let's marry, Eunbi."
"Y-yes, th-thank you."
#
The proposal might have been a mess, but the marriage was not. Everything was meticulously planned, and even the tiniest details went perfectly. No one knew of Eunbi's affair, and you kept it this way. 
Even after your marriage, your luck did not run out. Everything was working out. Two promotions in a year, a new, bigger house, two cars, a part time job for Eunbi that she really enjoys. Talking about Eunbi, she became attentive, caring, adoring, loving to the point where your wound began to heal.
Eight months into your marriage, you became an actor.
No, not the type that moves to Hollywood, swims in money and earns fame with every new movie. The type who has to act all day every day. You have to pretend that it's all fine, smile at everyone, always say the right things—
Acting is lying. You lie to them, because you cannot live with her lying to you.
Eunbi does not know about the abundance of security cameras you installed around and inside the house. They are tiny, but very modern and always connected to your phone for constant surveillance of your expensive home.
Not a single criminal has tried to enter your home—but multiple other 'criminals' entered something else.
At first, it was one guy. Tall, handsome, expensive suit. Eunbi greeted him with a smile. You watched the footage quite confused. The two of them sat down in the living room and talked for a bit. It looked like he tried to sell her something, but it also looked fake, like they were—
Role playing.
A minute later, Eunbi's arms and feet were wrapped around him as he drilled his cock deep inside her cunt. There was no sound, but you could see her moan and scream as he went faster.
Three weeks later, another guy. He seemed to not like role playing. Eunbi opened the door and his tongue was in her mouth immediately. They fucked all over the kitchen, on every damn counter. At least this guy was somewhat attractive.
Things got horrible after this. Guy after guy walked into your home and fucked your wife. Hole after hole, day after day. Whenever you were at work and she wasn't, a cock was inside her. One time, someone seemed to comment on her hair and the next day she went to dye it blonde. 
That was also the day you decided to not touch her anymore. You stay at work longer, until late at night. Work frees your mind a little, and soon they will promote you to the second highest position. 500k after taxes, seemingly infinite money, yet you still weep and down whiskey each night watching guys go to town on her.
Today, two guys arrived together. They spit roasted her on the bed, which was already covered in her juices and sweat from another guy an hour before. 
The video flashes before your dead eyes. You drop another piece of ice into the glass, watch the auburn whiskey sway and cool. Down it goes as Eunbi gets ready to take a cock up her loose asshole. For the first time, you look at the new guy who groans as Eunbi takes his cock.
His smug grin. It's the same motherfucker, the one you caught with Eunbi a bit over a year ago. 
For the first time, you stop your mindless staring at the screen. You pause the security footage as rage builds up at this stupid expression on this stupid face. Without hesitation, you reach for the glass and repeatedly smash it into the screen. It breaks in violent sparks and the room goes fully dark. 
You tear the screen off the wall, the same way you tear out the self-pity in your sorrow-filled heart. A violent kick sends the monitor into the computer and the thousand dollar set-up is reduced to broken scrap metals and torn wires.
The entire office is suddenly so dark and silent. Not that you were watching with sound, but the vivid pictures produced enough sounds in your head. It's all gone now, together with the dirty light displaying dirty pleasure. 
Don't lie to yourself; this was stupid. But as much as it was stupid, it was also necessary and it felt so right. Even though your favorite whiskey glass fell victim to your rampage, you don't regret it. You need more of this.
Throughout the entire night, you continue to mess up your workplace. You stuff bins and trash cans with everything in your office: Semi-important documents, plants, cables, liquor, chairs and especially all the unnecessary, lavish accessoires you gathered here for some reason. At dawn, the only thing that remains is a table, a chair, a laptop with a charger and a bottle of water. A frugal set-up, but more than enough for your job.
At 6:30 am, you arrive at home and jump right into bed, next to your snoring wife. With a quick glance you check her hand; the ruby embellished gold ring sparkles at her finger. A real, absurdly expensive piece of jewelry on a fake piece of shit, you think but smile nonetheless. There is some irony about it that you can't pin down yet, but you'll look for it a bit more.
#
A knock at your door. 
"Come on in," you say without looking up from your screen. It's probably the intern again, asking for help or another task. To your surprise, it's someone far more important.
"Still feels weird, when you remember what this room used to look like." A man, two decades older than you and a decade more work experience in this company carefully scoots into your office and wanders around it. "It's surprisingly vast."
You close your laptop when the man does not watch. It's out of respect, but for some reason, you do not fear him anymore. His name is Sakimoto, member of the board of directors and chairman of the staff council. Usually, there is only one reason for him to come into your office himself—and it's not a good one.
"How can I help you, Mr. Sakimoto?" you say with an insincere smile.
"Tell me," he responds, eyes wide in either insanity or genuine interest, hard to tell with someone like him. "Why did you throw it all away? It looks like a cell."
"It—to be honest, I—
"Well that's the point. None of the stuff is helpful in any way, even worse, it's distracting, unnecessary bullshit that keeps me from focusing. I don't need it, I don't want it anymore."
Sakimoto nods at your words, his expression never changing, not even at the use of your obscene slip. Maybe being a psychopath is a job requirement for Sakimoto's position. You can't bear to look at his slight smile and wide orbs any longer.
"Intriguing," he finally says and turns towards your door again. "You'll be at the board meeting tonight, 8pm flat."
"Yes, Sir," you calmly say, something grinding on your nerves as Sakimoto leaves without saying goodbye or closing the door. That's it, career over.
#
They’re gonna fire me, fuck.
This thought knocks on your mind the entire day, only getting stronger with every step you take towards the meeting room. Someone must have noticed your indefensible, erratic behavior, but how? Everyone was gone that night like they all are every night. You made sure of it by checking the nearby offices of your subordinates and co-workers. You even made sure to stuff all your furniture and electronics down to the bottom of the waste containers.
Maybe the board had a meeting and someone heard something? Fuck, that can’t be it, can it?
Deep breaths, calm breaths. If they know what happened, your fate is decided. You have enough money anyways. Other companies will still take you. You’re gonna be okay, this is just a small hit, a dent in the fast, unstoppable car that is you. If you’re honest, it’s a lot easier when you don’t care about the passenger or who she is fucking.
Bang the door thrice with confidence. The silence behind it becomes even more quiet, until someone urges you to enter in a strict, booming voice.
“You are a bit early,” the CEO says from the far end of the long table, his back to the setting sun visible through large windows behind him. The other board members look at you, some with a perfect poker face as if they are in serious business talks, others seem amused, maybe even a little tipsy, but what surprises you the most are those who look at you in anger and fear as if you were the grim reaper, coming for their souls.
“Better than being too late,” you respond with charme, your calm heart picking up in pace. 
“That is true!” the vice-CEO shouts and most board members fall into a short fit of laughter. They seem so odd, maybe they are making fun of you before forcing you to sign the resignation. You can already see the stack of paper in the CEO’s hand.
“Enough of this nonsense,” the CEO shouts. The laughs evaporate instantly, yet somehow, the positive vibes remain. The vice-CEO is grinning at you, even the CEO himself cracks a smile. He gets up from his chair, the paper firmly in both of his hands, and walks around the table towards you. Your feet seem to grow roots as he stops before you.
“Congratulations, Mr. Kwon,” he says cheerfully and hands you an—
“Official Invitation to the Board of Directors,” you read out loud in utter disbelief. 
“Mr. Kwon, why do you sound so shocked?” someone in the back asks and the CEO nods towards them with a sly grin.
“I did not inform him about our vote last week. Even Mr. Sakimoto only told him to be here today.
“Mr. Kwon, do you accept our invitation? You will be the thirteenth member, as Mr. Muentrich-Schleuser will resign next month. We all think that you are physically and mentally capable, have the pedigree and skill and most importantly, the outstanding drive to push this company forward. The growth in your department has been unmatched the past few months.”
The smooth, freshly printed piece of paper is in your hand. The other members gradually rise from their seats, all looking at you intently. They seemed so much bigger, when you entered the room, but now they are just like you. All you have to do is take the CEO’s stretched out hand, and you’ll be atop a mountain you never even dreamed of reaching. 
“D-do I have any other choice?” you say cooly, only your stutter betrays your facade. A couple of chuckles, the CEO looks at the ceiling and pretends to think.
“Well, you can’t go back to your apartment, as your successor has already been chosen. You could be transferred to Japan and lead the department there. It’d be the same pay as here but—”
He leans closer to whisper.
“—you’d have to pay more taxes there.
“What will it be, Mr. Kwon?”
#
You find yourself on the road again. Somehow, fate has you connected to your car. Whenever something big happened or is about to happen, you find yourself sitting in it, music blasting loud and numbing everything out. Tonight however, you purposefully turn the radio off and drive carefully. 
Let me celebrate somewhere; but where?
You won’t go home to your wife of course. She is more than undeserving to celebrate this moment with you. Most of your other friends and relatives are either asleep already or would ask stupid questions about Eunbi and why she isn’t celebrating alongside you. No, you need someone to not ask you about anything and just parties the night away.
Ah fuck it; strangers will do.
Park your car at the side of the road, don’t care for a ticket, hell, don’t give a fuck if someone decides to steal it. It’s used and you can easily buy a new one tomorrow if you want to. You wander down the street, busy with party-goers, drunk, high or both, some are a lot more focused and carry their drunk, high or both friends home. You loosen your tie, no need to look formally if everyone around you doesn’t either.
Suddenly, a familiar sight, a wooden structure with warm lights and that unmistakable smell. It’s almost nostalgic, magnetic, unavoidable, you just have to walk in there. As you grab the handle of the door and see the long, smooth, wooden counter, it hits you.
Oh my God.
“Oh, wow, haven’t seen you here in forever,” the bartender says when he sees you. His face hasn’t changed, his smile is the same, but you need a few moments to really recognize him again.
He takes a step back and smirks, firm grasp on a bottle of tequila.
“Well, yes, it has,” you respond and walk up to him. “It has easily been a year since my last visit, how the fuck do you remember me?”
“I have this tendency to remember people, especially because you were the last man to ever take her backstage.”
He winks and you throw your head back. Time flies, it really does, yet you find yourself sitting on the exact same stool on a very similar night with the same bartender. Even your wife is still a whore, fucking the same guys, probably right now as well. 
“So I take it that Hyewon is not coming here anymore?” you sigh and point at an expensive bottle of wine. The bartender swiftly uncorks it.
“I did not say that. She is just a lot more, let’s call it, picky. Okay, you know what?”
With an elegant pour he fills you a glass and places the dark ruby liquid on the counter before continuing.
“You can ask her yourself. She’ll be on stage in a couple minutes.”
A waft of wine hits your nostrils, but it’s a lot weaker than the words coming from his mouth. The thought of Hyewon blows you away, stronger than any liquor, no matter how high the amount of alcohol or the years it has matured. Hyewon, the kind stranger, the hot stranger, the stranger to fuck your stress out. Hyewon, the crazy friend, the bisexual friend, the let's-have-a-bar-backstage- threesome-with-this-hot-singer-friend. She was a big reason why you got over Eunbi cheating on you—but it has sadly not led you to the brightest of futures.
Maybe I should have stayed with her.
Take a sip of the wine. It’s delicious, celebratory, a drink for victors who have gained status and wealth beyond imagination, and you are now part of that group. At least you feel like it, even as the bar gets flooded with more and more people from all walks of life. Some look as well-dressed as you are, others clearly struggle to make ends meet in some months, but they're all here for the same thing.
Wait, what is Hyewon going to do on stage? Is she going to sing?
As you still wonder and savor the wine, one of the waitresses moves from light switch to light switch and slowly but surely fills the room in darkness. The crowd goes quiet as tension rises. Everyone is excited for sure, but none of them reach the level of thrill you feel when the spotlight illuminates the stage and a beautifully dressed woman appears behind the curtain.
Resounding cheers, applause, the occasional toast around you, inside you, but all you can do is watch in awe. Hyewon looks angelic, on one hand illegally beautiful, on the other illegally hot. Something about her is distant yet warm, unreachable yet magnetic, strangulating for the heart yet easy for the lunges—she is oxygen, or even better—the breathable air of heaven.
Hyewon.
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Confidence in her stance which silences the crowd again, confidence in her hands which raise the mic to her glossy lips, most importantly, confidence in her voice as she starts the song with a powerful low note that almost throws you off the stool. 
It shouldn’t be such a shock. Hyewon’s voice is mesmerizing, you should have noticed it when she spoke to you or at least when she moaned, but only now you see the full beauty of it. It’s befitting of her, and you will enjoy every second of it. She carries this song gracefully, giving it a special touch that will keep the listeners yearning for a studio version, which would be an efficient side hustle for her.
Wait, what if Hyewon becomes a musician, with songs on the radio and the first glimmers of fame? What if she is already quite popular, an underground artist on the rise, from covering songs to writing her own? What if there is a whole story happening in her life that you missed entirely, just because you stuck to your whore-wife and mind-numbing job? This fear of having missed out on something this big and beautiful, maybe even life itself, shakes your heart with a strong aching, until—
Another voice. The first verse, the pre-chorus, the build-up, it all leads to another voice coming in with unbridled power and passion. It cannot be contained in the way it booms through the speakers and puts goosebumps on every single person in this room. You’re included in this list, but when you recognize the voice and see the woman step out on stage, those goosebumps turn to a full-on rush of nostalgic emotions. 
Back then, her singing was the catalyst for an unforgettable night. Unexpectedly wild, a lot of fun, but the stinging arrow of envy made things bitter-sweet for you. Watching the two of them be so close, intimate and loving had you yearning for more than just enraged sex. You wanted this too, and there was a time where Eunbi provided it. But the veil has been lifted. There is no love, just despair.
Yuri.
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It’s certainly a touching thing, seeing that Hyewon and Yuri are still close friends, connected through the language of music. Apparently they were always here, right in this inconspicuous bar, pulling the stress out of people with nothing but their voices, which combine at the end of the second verse and rush ahead into the chorus. It’s an invasion of your ears, low and high, soft and powerful, caring and overwhelming. 
This performance is greatness, the best of what humanity has to offer—and you feel like the embodiment of an embittered, wasted life.
#
Yuri hits the final note with such perfection that the first few people have already jumped up from their seats and cheered without holding back. Thunderous applause is an understatement to how hard everyone claps their hands or stomps the ground. They’re shaking the entire bar, which has the bartender holding onto some of the bottles with a worried smile. You on the other hand are glued to your seat in deep regret. Not enough to make you cry, but enough to keep you from giving the two angels what they deserve. 
Take a look at your wine. It has been untouched in your glass for a while now and it’d be a waste to throw it away just because you’re facing the cold, harsh truth again. What even is true at this point? Not the stuff you promise your customers and certainly not your relationship. Fuck it, take a large sip.
“They are awesome,” the bartender gasps. “They should finally do this professionally, this stage is too small for them.”
“Yeah,” you answer with a weak smile. “Imagine an entire stadium full of people being this ecstatic. The world would hear it.”
“Well, I tried my best convincing them,” he says and looks right next to you with a sly grin. “Maybe you have more success than I did.”
Time freezes when you feel the familiar busty body around your own. You did not see Hyewon launching herself at you, don't realize what's happening until she starts talking.
"Oh my God, it has been so long! Wait, is it really you?"
"Hyewon, I, uhm, yeah. I'm me."
"It's so crazy to see you again! How are you, how is life?"
"Well, it's—"
Hyewon squeezes your body tighter. She pouts when you look down at her until you finally get it. Return the embrace and Hyewon squeals in happiness.
"You don't have to say anything," she coos softly. "I'm just happy to see you again."
"Likewise," you respond with a sigh.
You could stand around like this for eternity. Hyewon's deep breaths and her steadily decreasing heart rate start to heal you from within. The pain and suffering caused by Eunbi's constant cheating, it doesn't matter right now. You deserve a break from the mess that is your life—you feel like you can celebrate your promotion for real now.
"Hyewon, I—no, you. You were wonderful on stage. Your singing, it blew me away."
As you gush about her performance, Hyewon blushes and disconnects the hug. You notice that she has this heavenly aura around her, like she is spraying sparks of love and happiness that try to ignite everyone around her. No wonder that she had this excellent stage presence during her duet.
"Thank you so much—
"Oh, babe~ I'm here~"
You jump at Hyewon's sudden call, which is not directed at you of course. Before your eyes can search for the person Hyewon just called babe, they have already arrived. Delicate fingers entwined with Hyewon's, they both go for a quick peck on the lips.
"Yu-Yuri?" 
Your shriek makes the duo—the couple?—look at you with wide eyes, glossy and full of love for life—for each other? There is still too much to process for your brain, it can't handle another input. 
"Hey, is everything alright?" Yuri asks with concern in her voice and a caring hand on your elbow.
"Ye-yeah, ju-just not up to date at all. Are you two like… a thing?"
Hyewon has this bright smile on her face. She wraps an arm around Yuri's hip and the younger girl leans her head on her collarbone. Yuri raises a hand up to your face. There is a simple silver ring on it, and you see her eyes scintillate when she shows you it.
"We married two months ago," Hyewon giggles. "So much has happened since we met last time. I can’t really sum it up."
"Don't feel forced to explain yourself," you respond with an awkward laugh. "We had a short stint a while back, I only saw you falling for each other—
beyond that, our lives have happened far apart. But not going to lie, I'd love to hear your story if you're down for it."
Hyewon and Yuri share a glance and then start to laugh for seemingly no reason. It turns into a full fit that suddenly has you in a tight, three way hug. 
"We'd love to," Yuri says when she catches her breath again. "After all, you somewhat got us together. I told Hye that we should try to invite you to the marriage."
"Nah, it's good. How about I pay for the first round of drinks because of your amazing performance and then for the second round 'cuz I got a big promotion today."
"What if I want a third round though?" Hyewon asks jokingly.
"Babe, you can never handle three rounds," Yuri responds with sass and pulls the two of you to a nearby table.
"Looks like you just qualified yourself to pay for the third round then, Yuri."
#
"Like I said," Yuri babbles, her pitch high as the love story reaches its conclusion. "Hye was so scared to tell her father, but I had already bought the rings and planned the dresses, the cake—her mom was literally involved in everything—so on a Saturday night I poured her a third tequila shot—look how done she is after only two!"
Yuri points at her wife, whose head rests on her shoulder with heavy eyes and a rosy hue on her cheeks. Hyewon is in a drunk-dazed heaven, smiling stupidly, while trying to disagree with sounds that almost sound like words.
"Anyways, she was loose and so I dragged her over, we told him and—it was a stressful minute, I tell you that—after a minute he hugged us wordlessly. We kinda had no idea what it meant but during the wedding he looked happy, at peace basically."
"Okay, wow that is—"
Even your tenth reaction to Hyewon and Yuri's story, from threesome over dating to coming out to marriage, is cut short, this time by Hyewon groaning out a functioning sentence from her lip stick and alcohol covered lips.
"Babe, you, you forgot the part where, when you had to quit your job then."
"Oh, I'd love to hear about that too!" you quickly add, reminiscing about their amazing vocal performance. "Why did you decide to only sing for a living?"
Yuri puts on a sad smile as she strokes Hyewon's hair. Her gaze rests upon her empty glass, her orbs turn glassy for a moment then she shakes her head as if to shrug off what's bothering her.
"That's just about, you know, my former job. When I quit because we wanted to focus on music, some were angry because they thought I abandoned the team for childish dreams while others were… not so supportive of us. Ah, just forget it, it's fine."
"Sorry you had to go through it and sorry for bringing it up," you quickly apologize.
"Jeez, I said it's fine, don—"
"Let me make it up to you with a third round and the promise to meet the two of you here again."
Raise your hand to call the waiter while Yuri searches for something in Hyewon's pocket, but the older keeps nuzzling closer and closer as she dozes off. When the drinks arrive, Yuri slips you a phone.
"Put in your numbern" she whispers. "I bet she'll want to hear more from you too."
"Thank you. I assume you don't want to hear from me then?" you chuckle.
"That's right!" Yuri shouts and lifts her glass on high, so the entire bar can hear her. "I'm only here for the drinks. Cheers!"
#
Even the greatest party needs to come to an end at some point. 3am is when you pay for the drinks and call a cab. You barely find your way up the drive way into your house, which is not that bad, because now you don’t need to go sleep in the same bed as Eunbi and instead have the couch for you alone. It has never been so cozy.
Speaking of Eunbi, her acting is almost great. She apparently was so worried about you last night, and all the other nights the last couple of months. Now she found you on the couch, an obvious hangover by the way you scrunch your forehead. She puts her hand on your shoulder, rubbing it in circles, playing the worried wife like it’s in her script. 
“No, this looks wrong, I swear,” you try to laugh it off but Eunbi is just getting closer. God, you can smell all the other people on her. It’s like she showered in a dozen different men’s perfume and deodorant just to taunt you. Ignore the mocking, you’re above this. 
“Then what is it supposed to look like, babe?” Eunbi asks, her eyes wide and shimmering. “I’m willing to believe you, but you have to tell me why you got so wasted.”
“Well, I…” 
It’s best to mix the lie with some truth to the point where you might believe it yourself.
“I, surprisingly, got a great promotion, and we went out partying for a long ti—”
“Oh my God, babe, that’s awesome!”
Out of nowhere, Eunbi casts aside all her concern and launches herself atop of you. You immediately tense up. Feeling the incredible curves of her body has never felt so wrong, so traumatic. Groan and put a palm to your temple to signal her your distress, but she continues to bounce on your lap. 
“All your heart work paid off, I’m so proud!” she shouts gleefully, her arms tight around your throat in what looks like a loving embrace but feels a lot more like someone strangling you. “I almost thought you were out there getting addicted to whiskey every night.”
And you are addicted to men, Eunbi.
Addicted to sex, to being unloyal, to being creamed by other men.
You are the addict, you heartbreaking bitch.
But the words don’t come out. They run circles in your head while Eunbi’s clothed entrance rubs circles over your not-growing, not-aroused dick. You’re not going to surrender to her fuckable body, instead gently pushing her sides and groaning unduly. 
“Yeah, no, this was a one time thing. I should sober up, my head fucking hurts.”
“Should I get you some water and painkillers?” Eunbi asks and gets off of your lap to jog to the kitchen.
“Yes, please—”
—and then get out of my life.
#
The following months brought some drastic changes. Not only is your work harder, it’s also not optional anymore. You started to put up better numbers because of your overtime work, which was due to Eunbi. Now, you can’t escape it anymore. Working from 6am to 10pm is normal, hell, on some days you wish you could sleep three hours. 
But everytime you look at your new bank account—can’t let Eunbi have all the access—it all seems worth it. The pay is ungodly, you have way too much money. Even after taxes and buying two new cars to not look ‘broke’ next to all the other board members, you still have no clue what to do with all of it. Two or three more years, and you could retire wealthy beyond belief. Begs the question why these people usually don’t and continue working.
Another change to your life comes through Hyewon and Yuri. By themselves, they installed a new social life in your life. At least two times per month, the three of you meet up in a bar. You get to know new people, entirely different from you, but also basically the same. Everyone is tired from work, so it’s time to drink and party. You almost forgot how good it feels to have a variety of friends—from those that are perfect for loose parties to those that deeply care about you. 
Hyewon is the best of those friends. Nothing about your brief yet intense past seems to stick on her. She is chill around you, goofy and not at all awkward. Yuri is quite similar, though a bit more extravagant and flamboyant, which makes them the absolute gay-power couple. They just click, it’s perfect, young love. 
“Reminds me of myself.” Your lips betray you.
“What?” Hyewon shouts back, over the obnoxiously loud bass of the rock band on stage.
“Ah, nothing. Just a little envious~” you respond with fake annoyance and raise your glass for a toast. Hyewon hesitates, very out of character.
“Nah, I’m not toasting your glass before you tell me what you mean,” Hyewon says and stares into your soul with her drunk, teary eyes. Maybe she is not that drunk? Maybe you can finally open up about it?
“Really, it’s nothing.”
“Nuh-uh, tell me outside.”
And with that, Hyewon walks out the front door, you in tow as your tie becomes completely undone and your shirt is a mess. Outside you do not find privacy, just a lot of strangers talking, laughing, smoking. This time you pull Hyewon further down the street next to your parked Porsche, where it’s less likely for someone to hear you.
“Now you gotta… tell me,” Hyewon babbles.
“You are drunk, you’re not gonna remember it anyways.”
“Nuh-uh,” she says again, hitting your chest with her long, painted nails. “You need to spill it now, I’ll remember. Like I remember you only asking about me and Yuri and never talking about yourself.”
She’s spot on. You never wanted to talk about it. Eunbi’s name is pain, you don’t need to make the newfound pleasure and joy in your life go away because of her. This cheating whore—she should just go away at this point.
“You remember why we met?” you carefully ask Hyewon, testing if she is capable of understanding even though she is under heavy influence.
“Yes, your girl cheated on you.”
“Guess what: I married that girl.”
“Oh,” Hyewon says and after some delay smiles brightly. “So you talked it out and things got better? That’s why you didn’t come back, right?”
“Let’s just say that,” you gulp and your hands form fists. “Some people don’t change.”
“Fuck,” Hyewon’s pointy heels hit the sidewalk hard. “I’m sorry about that. Was it a bad divorce?”
“Huh? She still lives with you? In the same house? You share the same bed?”
“I—I did not divorce her.”
“I-I did not say that!”
“But it’s true!” Hyewon steps closer and grabs your collar. “I can see it in your eyes, you can’t let go. You hate her, but you can’t throw her away, although she deserves it.”
You want to grab Hyewon’s wrist, push her to the side and run away shouting words of denial that you are stronger than this, that she is wrong, that she doesn’t get it. However, Hyewon doesn’t deserve it—even worse, she is absolutely right.
“Yes,” you whisper.
“Yes,” she whispers and lets go. The two of you lean onto the Porsche in silence, watching customers of the bar pass by without worries, without hate, without defeat. The liquor has done wonders, turning a negative week positive. The same can’t be said about you. You feel exposed, utterly defeated by Hyewon’s words. 
“Fuck you,” you groan, face hidden in hands. “Fuck you for being right, Hyewon.”
“Sorry, but you had to hear it,” she responds and pats your back. “You need to tear her out of your life, like a terribly written chapter in a book or like awful lyrics that you wrote while high on midnight wine and sex.
“You get me?”
“I think.”
“Good.”
The world might not be good at this moment, yet Hyewon’s reassurance, her slow pats on your shoulder, her strong posture in her stunning red dress and the loving, tipsy smile on her beaming face are enough to show you the light of a better world.
“What about you?” you suddenly ask, wiping away tears you did not weep. “Something you’re hiding or keeping down?”
Hyewon looks away, her smile filling with a hint of agony, though nothing of her stunning beauty fades.
“You got me there. It’s something that’s been bugging me for maybe half a year. I know I shouldn’t but—I can’t get away from the thought, you know?”
“I would know if you would tell me,” you say playfully. Now it’s your turn to massage her shoulder, give reassurance, though you don’t know if you have any.
“It’s just that I—
“I want to have a child—my child. I love Yuri more than anything, I will never regret choosing her and only her, but this longing… it does not go away.”
“And adopting is not an option? S-sorry if that was insensitive…”
“No, it’s fine. I just want to be pregnant and raise my child together with her. You know what, forget that. It has to remain a dream.”
Suddenly, a friend of both you and Hyewon sprints out of the bar and looks around in dramatic panic until he finds the two of you. He takes leaps towards you, almost lands face first on the concrete before catching his small frame and coming to a halt.
“Hyewon,” he gasps out in between huffs and puffs. “Yuri is—she is so full, completely—you know?”
“That girl,” Hyewon sighs.
#
You return home on the same night. Your chat with Hyewon sucked out all the power the liquor usually has over you. It means that you are able to think about her words and take her seriously, but you’ll also have to live with Eunbi laying next to you, smelling like foreign sweat and cum again. You could choose the couch, but you haven’t gotten around to having it replaced with a couch where it’s better to sleep on. 
The moment you open the main door, you hear screams coming from the bedroom. Deja Vu, not the subtle kind, more like a fucking train running you over. You still remember the one time she did it almost two years ago where you caught her. This is basically the same. The same sounds, the same gut wrenching punch to your gut, hell, even the groans by the guy sound the same—
Could it be?
Eunbi, in her brand new bikini, rides the same fucking guy from back then while he has his disgusting, greedy hands all over her skin, spanking it and making her scream even louder. 
Like a silent assassin, you sneak towards the slightly ajar bedroom door. Dimmed lights illuminate the room which is filled by the smell of sex and the repetitive sounds of skin on skin. You take out your phone and use it as a mirror to catch a glimpse of what’s happening.
“You like that, you whore?” he growls at her, smiling stupidly dazed.
“Yes, oh God! Hit my tits!”
“I swear to God, your husband must be such a faggot for not immediately fucking you in that outfit. You look like a fucking breeding cow!”
“Yes, I’m cumming!”
“He can’t make you cum!”
The guy squeezes, then twists Eunbi’s breasts as she trembles, screams and squirts to an absolutely ridiculous level, one that even pornography can ot reach. She lets herself fall forward and the guy finishes inside her after a couple of thrusts. His rancid cum leaks out from every corner of Eunbi’s loose pussy. 
You almost throw up. You hurry towards the front door and hide in the back of your car. There is rage, embarrassment, pain—you can’t confront her, hell, you can’t even confront him when he leaves the house like a king, the sun slowly rising in the background. 
Your mind is empty, empty to the point it’s completely clear. You wait for Eunbi to fall asleep, then collect all the camera’s you have installed and throw them in a public trash bin. Afterwards, you clean up the house, dusting off as quietly as possible while also collecting dirty clothes to wash them (there is fucking leftover cum on some of her clothes and towels).
Lastly, you lay down next to her for a second and check if she has cleaned herself properly. 
This fucking whore, I—
“Honey, sorry for not making it last night,” you shout, pretending to come home at 5am. Eunbi shrieks and shoots up, still dressed in the brown bikini, still cum oozing from her cunt. She tries to hide herself underneath a blanket.
“Ba-babe, tha-that’s totally fine,” she responds nervously, looking very puzzled because of your tired yet bright smile.
“I saw you cleaned the house, it looks wonderful!” you compliment her.
“I, uhm.”
“Hey, even the washing machine is running—and did you bring out the trash already?”
“Well, I—”
“God, you look so hot in that bikini,” you lean down to her and cup her bountiful breasts. “I could devour you right now. Did you really wear it just for me?”
“I—
Eunbi hesitates, turns away for a second to look out of the window. She is thinking about it, clearly. This is where her final redemption can start, the way to salvation is to reveal all of her sin, the only way she can come back is to…
“I’m glad you noticed, babe,” she says with the fakest of smiles. “And yes, I would only wear this for you. B-but I’m not feeling it right now, you understand?”
You nod.
“I love you, Eunbi.”
You lying devil.
#
How did you end up here?
“Are you sure about this, Yuri?”
“Yes, do you really want this, babe?”
Yuri folds her arms and raises both her eyebrows.
“How many times do I have to tell you? Yes, I want this!”
With all doubts seemingly out of the way, the three of you make your way to the bedroom. Hyewon’s and Yuri’s apartment is small, but very cozy, the perfect place to live a relaxed, problem free life. 
But they decided to get you involved. You’re a problem here. Sure, you might have helped at starting their relationship in the first place, but now you’re here for chaos. 
Hyewon sinks onto the sheets first, Yuri’s fingers entangled with hers. Your fingers find the hem of Hyewon’s short dress. The angelic garment feels incredible, pure even in your hand and so you only hike it up with care, deeply in awe of what you’re about to see.
Meanwhile, Hyewon is a lot less pedantic and awestruck. She yanks Yuri closer, shortly fiddles with the button of her jeans and then quickly starts to undress her wife. The denim is quickly gone and before Hyewon can attack the white lace panties, Yuri shoves her lover's face into them. 
“Use your precious tongue, honey~”
Oops, you almost started to stare for too long. Better continue your hike up Hyewon’s beautiful, bountiful legs to her holy sanctuary, covered by the same lace she so greedily licks and nibbles on. Your digits hook into the white fabric and slowly pull it down, making Hyewon melt further into Yuri’s pussy. 
“You’re getting so excited, huh~?” Yuri teases and pats Hyewon’s head. The older girl nods while you start to fold her dress to finally see her wet, shaven cunt. You can smell the excitement, the arousal, the anticipation of what is about to happen to her. Now you consider yourself lucky to not have slept with anyone, which potentially avoided any and all STDs. 
It lets you create trouble.
#
How did you end up here?
It’s two days after Hyewon officially asked you to impregnate her. Tomorrow she will ask her wife in what you can only imagine will be the most stressful talk in her entire life. Today however, is not tomorrow. Today is the day you got your STD test back. Hyewon wanted you to take it for if things go her way and Yuri actually agrees to this chaotic proposal.
To no surprise, the results are negative. After all, you haven’t touched Eunbi in forever and by the way she lets seemingly everyone cum inside her, you wouldn’t be surprised if she caught anything. In the end, that was not enough however. You needed to make sure.
A bottle of champagne, neatly placed on the living room table. You put some decorations around it. Eunbi will appear here any minute, you told her you have a surprise waiting, something that will make her speechless, breathless even. 
“Hey, honey,” Eunbi announces her return, grocery bags in hands. “What is it you wanted to tell me?”
“Eunbi, I—the reason why I even took a day off is—nah, come on over! Let’s raise a glass first, shall we!”
The glasses are already filled, well prepared. Eunbi seems utterly perplexed. “Champagne in the middle of the day? Honey, what are you planning~?”
Trouble, bitch.
#
“Oh, yes, eat me, Hye, eat me.”
Yuri has started to tear off her t-shirt, the top underneath as well, to sit on Hyewon’s face completely naked. You on the other hand have only fished out your hard cock, which the incredible display of passion and erotic has surely made harder than ever. The straps of Hyewon’s dress have also started to fall down her shoulders. Finally, the chaos is coming together.
“The two of you are so hot,” you compliment and lean towards them. 
“I know,” Yuri responds in between moans and grinds her soaking pussy more and more on Hyewon’s mouth. “Your mouth is so pretty, so go-good.”
“Hyewon, are you ready?” you ask the woman below you, her nipples peeking out from her dress, her legs spread wide and invitingly and her pussy twitching when you rub up and down her labia. 
Hyewon finds her way out from in between Yuri’s thighs and rests her head back against her lover’s tight stomach. Deep breaths and eyes of absolute need signal you that yes, she is more than ready. The same goes for Yuri, who is on the one hand very fixated on rubbing and drooling all over Hyewon’s collarbone, while her eyes are focused on your cock.
“Watch him closely,” Yuri whispers. “He is going to give you our child.”
With that, you push inside of Hyewon’s awaiting pussy.
#
“What are we celebrating? Did you get another promotion?”
Eunbi looks genuinely curious. Strange, she hasn’t asked about your work at any previous point in time, unless it was about when you would be home. Keep the sarcasm to yourself, you don't want to spoil the actual surprise.
"Oh, sweety," you laugh with full bass. "No more promotions needed, we are set for life. Which is why I bought a new house!"
"No, you didn't!" Eunbi shouts and almost drops the glass.
"Careful, careful, don't spill it."
"Oh my God, you are crazy. Where is this house? Still in Korea or…"
You raise your glass towards her and smirk.
"I'll only tell you if you would do me the honor."
Eunbi reciprocates the smirk.
"Of course, darling."
The two of you set the glasses to your lips. Your eyes are wide open, your heart beats in an uncontrollable flurry as you watch Eunbi down the champagne quickly, almost in one go. You're quick to follow, while a new wind of fresh air fills your nostrils.
This should not feel this good.
#
"Ah!"
Hyewon screeches when you pierce her tight pussy open. She clings onto her wife's thighs, gripping them tightly while blurting her initial, high-pitched moans straight into the pussy above her.
"You take it so well, baby," Yuri groans and rubs Hyewon's breasts with the sweaty palms of her hands. "Squeeze him dry."
Place both hands on Hyewon’s hips and begin to slowly pump into the woman, your cock stretching her walls, filling her whole. When Yuri suddenly starts to play with the small, hidden clit above the entrance, Hyewon becomes noticebly wetter, to the point where you hear the wet sounds of her arousal. It spreads around her crotch, your crotch, her legs, your legs, the bed’s legs, until everything is a glorious mess.
“Oh, I can feel him inside you, baby,” Yuri husks as her hand roams Hyewon’s abdomen. She has gotten off her lover's face and is now gazing at it, her eyes lustful, demanding for Hyewon to be bred. “Soon, I’ll feel something else knock from inside.”
“Yu-Yuri, I’m getting close!” Hyewon screeches, her fingers wrapping around your wrists as you grip her pale body tighter and tighter as she gets tighter and tighter. “I’m about to—”
“Don’t hold back,” Yuri demands and her hand slips down to Hyewon’s clit again and rubs furiously. “I want to see you cum, cum as you finally receive this gift.”
Well, there goes the last shadow of a doubt that Yuri might have something against this crazy idea. Turns out she is even more insane than you or Hyewon. She gets off on you pounding, dominating her wife and she does the same, finally choking Hyewon’s throat gently while bringing her to a loud, splashing orgasm. From the corner of her eye, you see her urging you to not cum yet. 
If she just knew how hard this is with Hyewon wringing all over your lubricated, diamond-like cock. Her pussy sucks you in, takes your breath away, yet you are able to make Yuri’s wish come true. Just close your eyes and imagine something normal is happening, a walk in the park, a nice summer breeze, the beautiful green of the leaves—
“You are so hot, baby, eat me~”
Yuri climbs on top of Hyewon’s face again, her subtle ass turned towards you as she slams her pussy on Hyewon’s panting mouth and rubs herself all over the most flushed, most perfect features to ever graze the earth. Hyewon is barely able to stick out her tongue to tickle Yuri’s clit and it’s so endearing, you just have to make it more difficult for her.
Fold Hyewon. It's as easy as folding a piece of paper. Hyewon’s feet dangle in the air, her toes curl frantically, trying to reach the ceiling to find grip, but she is helpless. At first she lost control over her body due to the mind-blowing orgasm, now it’s because Yuri and you use her as you please. Hyewon is a tool for pleasure and she couldn’t feel more pleasure.
“Your tongue, baby, put it in—ah!” Yuri’s climax was predictable. Her small frame trembles throughout, her adorable butt is right in front of you. You take a risk and fold Hyewon further, your lips now right on Yuri’s cheek. Your lick right across it. “N-not you! B-but don’t stop now!”
So you continue. Your tongue travels all over Yuri’s cheeks, an adventure almost as good as the adventure your cock takes inside Hyewon, exploring every single place inside her scorching cunt. You eventually end up in Yuri’s butt, twirling your tongue, getting her addictive taste on your tastebuds. Sadly, you’re unable to go all out on Hyewon in the meantime, so she scrapes your shoulders, probably feeling neglected. When you look down however, she opens her mouth wide and begs in the most adorable, lewd voice:
“Share?”
You drool right into the awaiting Hyewon, transferring the taste of her wife’s asshole, but it’s not enough, you need to dive into her lips and force her tongue around in her mouth. There is no other option, you need to melt into Hyewon to give her the perfect child, a child conceived under the most ridiculous, feverish and unexplainable circumstances possible.
Yuri’s nails dig in your neck.
“Enough fun. Give her your fucking cum!”
Open your eyes a final time to find Hyewon, fucked silly, sweat, tears, girl cum all over her face and hair, eyes barely open, mouth barely closed—why is she more perfect, the messier she gets? You thrust deeply a couple of times and with a final sprint, you finish the race, with Hyewon bred and Yuri rubbing her clit in a daze. 
“Don’t pull out yet,” she babbles. “I need to—fuck—I need to get the plug first.”
#
“It needs to look like champagne, untraceable, no weird smells or anything.
“Yes, I know that that is fucking elaborate and costly, I don’t care.
“Do you want to be on the board or not? I thought so.
“We have a deal then.
“Hm? No, her death does not need to be quick.”
Infact, I want it to be as long and painful as possible.
# 20 years later #
You open the window and watch the wind splash water against the shore of Malta. This view alone is worth thirty million euros apparently—you’re inclined to agree. The blue of the ocean meets the white stones, it’s a perfect match. No matter how rough the wind comes and goes, no matter how high the sea levels may rise, these two will never betray each other.
A knock on your front door. The way she knocks is unmistakable. Ever since moving to this long forgotten, barely reachable island, you have never felt the need to hurry about anything. It’s all calm and quiet out here—you’d need to go back to Korea for your life to be busy again. But if you’d go back again, your need to see her would be too big.
You couldn’t do that to her mothers.
“Hello, dear Godfather,” the beautiful girl says with a smile and playfully bows her head.
“Hello, dear Godchild,” you return the smile and the bow. “Didn’t your mother teach you how to properly bow?”
“Which one?” she asks, not able to contain her laughter. “The one that sings or the one that sings?”
“It’s nice to see you again, Minju.”
I missed you, my daughter.
(A/N: I hope you all had a happy june/Pride month!)
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