#eagle picture library

[all-action-all-picture]

1985 ad for the first two issues of Eagle Picture Library. The title lasted for 14 issues. I don't remember ever seeing these.

The first issue featured a reprint of a Saber, King of the Jungle story with art by Joe Colquhoun. I don't know where this first appeared but Saber originally appeared in Tiger with some of his adventures later reprinted in Vulcan.

Murder in Space was a reprint of a Jet-Ace Logan story with art by Brian Lewis. I think this also originally appeared in Tiger in the 1960's.

Treasury of British Comics.

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

The Age of Adaline (2015, Lee Toland Krieger)

07/04/2024

The Age of Adaline is a 2015 film directed by Lee Toland Krieger starring Blake Lively.

Adaline Marie Bowman was born in 1908. The girl is destined for eternal youth. During her stay in the city of San Francisco in the United States, Adaline, under the name Jennifer Larson, works in a library and lives in the company of a dog.

Ellis wants Adaline to accept her donation so they can take a photo together, but she refuses, as she wants to avoid being recognized by people from her past through photographs of her.

William, although years have passed since he met Adaline, still defines her as a magnificent woman and gives her every credit for having given him the courage to abandon medical school to dedicate himself to her true passion, astronomy.

Filming of the film took place in Coquitlam, Canada. Gabriele Muccino was initially considered to direct the film, with Katherine Heigl and Angela Lansbury in the cast.

Lana Del Rey composed the official soundtrack, titled Life Is Beautiful.

[vivwritesfics]

I saw a post about a Logan fluff request? I have one, if you still want one.

It’s Logan coming home to the reader, who’s a college student. The reader doesn’t know he’s coming to visit, so she’s surprised when he shows up at her door.

Idk how American college works so I've made it fit to what I know :D

(Also this picture is so rock n roll of him it makes me wanna WRITE a logan x Rockstar fic)

"Dude she literally just left."

Logan let the smile drop from his face. He'd endured the long ass flight after a grueling race for this. He tried not to let the dejected look show on his face as he walked into the house.

"Do you know when she'll be back?" He asked as her roommate led him through to the kitchen.

She shrugged her shoulders and got him something to drink. "Give her an hour, and then start worrying."

Logan took the drink. He stayed in the kitchen, chatting to the roommate for a little bit. She was nice to him, treated him like an ordinary person. It was nice to feel normal for once.

When she had to go and do uni work, Logan retreated to his girlfriends room. He'd been there plenty of times before, but he still looked around. There were pictures of them on the wall, and a comically large poster of him in front of the American flag, eagles surrounding him. Her closet door was covered in flash cards and her desk was piled high with books from the library.

Pinned above her desk was a calendar. It came already printed with the race schedule, with things for her university filled in around it.

He sat himself on the bed and looked at the two teddy bears against the pillows. Milo and Otis. "You guys been keeping her company?" He asked quietly. Obviously he didn't get a response.

Within a matter of minutes, the bedroom door opened. Logan snapped his attention towards it. She seemed to not notice him as she shut the door behind her.

"Hi."

He'd only seen her body jump like that once before. They had been cuddled up with the lights off, watching some stupid, over the top, horror movie. "Lo?" She cried.

He opened his arms wide as she ran towards him and threw her arms around her. Logan couldn't stop himself from lifting her slightly.

As soon as he put her down, she smacked his arm. "You're not supposed to be here for another three weeks!"

He grinned as he kissed her. "I just couldn't stay away."

[icarustypicalfall]

Cod men in a mall??

I am bored, so i am shoving all of them in a mall. This is supposed to be funny, idk man.

Silly drabbles for TF141, Vaqueros, phil and könig.

warnings: none! fluff :) proofread but might contain some faults

credit to owner for the divider I don't know to who it belongs!!

masterpost • AO3

Ghost

He didn't want to go.

After giving him the cutest puppy eyes he said yes.

"I don't want to spend three hours in makeup stores"

He gave you the Ultimest glare as you passed by the shop in question.

Ended looking around for perfumes and breaking one by accident.

The employee was too scared to confront him.

You tried to convince him into buying an green hoodie with cat ears.

*typical ghost glare*

Was happy when they said they didn't have his size.

Now imagine him wearing the same sweater, looking like a crop top on him while you took pics.

Never went to the mall with you again

"no chance not going"

(he said yes lol)

John Price

Spent good five minutes fighting with an employee over the way a cuppa should be made.

You tried on multiple bucket hats and took pics. He was grinning the whole time. :(

"John, do you think I can buy this mall?"

"Absolutely not Love."

He'd buy it for you if you asked, though.

You thrifted together some vintage sweaters and wore them over hot drinks, the same night.

He is the sanest of them all. (optional)

Gaz :)

He needed to restock, so you went to the mall.

You wanted to sit in the cart, and so did he.

Both of you sat in the cart, ended bumping in the vegetable section and kicked out.

You can't go there together anymore.

For the rest of the afternoon, you ate ice cream and threw a coin in the Fontaine

"Nah but seriously, love, I'd go into that bloody pool and collect all the money. A legit fortune for us, yeah?"

Soap Johnny Mactavish

He wanted to get a weighted blanket, considering the cold weather in the base.

He jokingly wrapped you in it.

You couldn't move and looked like a worm.

"Ya look funny, lassie. Liile worm, go.."

Soap wrapped himself in a weighted blanket as well and you made a race on who'll reach the paying section first. The owners wasn't very happy.

**

You took pictures in a photobooth, you frowned in annoyance at the first set, with Soap giving you bunny ears behind your back.

Although, it was cute.

That.. until a raccon randomly barged in. The astonishment was priceless and the pictures remain in your wallets.

Soap begged to keep the raccoon.

(It bit him.)

Alejandro Vargas

He wanted to buy you something special.

He didn't mind the price, while your eyes lagged at the series of zeros in the tag.

He shoved everything your eyes laid on in the basquet, calling it a day.

You had to hold him or else he'd buy the whole section.

He ended surprising you with a bracelet, one you always gazed at whenever you came.

He shushed you before you even open your mouth, smiling.

"nonono cariño, no thanks, i am all yours."

:')

Rudy Parra

:(

Sweet boy just wanted to buy a book.

He heard about a certain section in the library and wanted to check it out with you.

(you see where this is going)

You both chose a book, thinking the cute cover was a projection of what lays on the papers.

Wrong.

Two words in, you gazed at each other, put the book on the shelf and went to get a film.

You never entered that section again.

Aside from this, you had so much fun chosing each other fits and trying them on.

Phillip Graves

He is a proud American, of course.

Having his alarm as the national Anthem and riding to the sun with the eagle on his shoulder.

Anyway..

Phil practically begged you to get a certain pyjama, red white and blue to match his own.

He took your no to heart and gave you a cold shoulder (for five minutes only, he trailed afterwards on your feet like a lost puppy.)

He kept a hand around your waist, glaring at men who's gaze lingered on you.

"Eh darlin, there is no point in buying new sweaters, mine are yours. It suits you perfectly, beautiful!"

könig

He wanted new pants, and your opinion, so you went together.

And meanwhile you might think this is an easy task, allow me to say "NUH UH"

Have you seen this man?

He tried a pair of cargo pants, claiming it is his size.

Two steps in, the material ripped apart.

He took it off and, ever so calmly, he returned it in the back of the pile, as if nothing happened.

You left the store, and he uttered, pulling you to his side for warmth

"It's alright, not the first time, Maus.. They should make pants more stretchy, ja?"

[completeoveranalysis]

[6]

I turned the page thinking there was one more to go, but it looks like this is actually split across a double page spread. But since I've seen it let's talk about it anyway!

It's all the worlds we've seen! And in the most CLAMP way possible we see them overflowing and overlapping but THROUGH the frame that Sakura's Wings makes of them. They HAVE the memories of these worlds inside them, and here they visually show us the mess of them all colliding and ripping apart.

And it's gorgeous! Is this all of them? Let's see, if we start in the top left and go counter clockwise we see Acid Tokyo (1), with I think Koryo beneath it (2), and what I am going to assume is the library from Recourt (3). We have a clear Piffle (4), followed by the Land of Fog (5) (justice for the mini-arcs!), and then Infinity (6) which is hilariously just a picture of Eagle Vision since we didn't see much of the world itself outside of his illegal fighting ring. Next is Nihon I think (7), followed by Hanshin (8), and the flower fun district in Shara (9). Above that is Yukito and Toya in Clow (10), going sideways is The Country Which Had Tornado-chan in it (11), and crossing behind both of those is the ferris wheel I think has to be Edonis/Outo (12), above that is Jade (13), Yuuko's store (which I didn't count as a separate world but sure, 14), and Shura - which I technically count as the same as Shara, but sure, let's make that 15 visible worlds.

You could argue that Clow and Acid Tokyo are the same world, which would bring it down to 14, but you could also say that about Shara and Shura, which would do the same. If you did it for BOTH that would bring it down to 13, which means one is missing. Oh, Seresu? Does Seresu not count because it doesn't exist anymore?

Either way! The numbers are murky and the math doesn't really matter but I like that it's close enough and entertaining enough that I stared at a jpg for twenty minutes straight! So that's a win!

[paperdoll201]

The Little Things

Marie and Jordan have different love languages

880 words

Marie was always better at words between the two of them.  Always the one to ask the questions, make the apologies for being a little too loud in the library, says the “please” and “thank yous.” From the most stuck up professors to fucking newborn babies, she could melt hearts and bend anyone’s wills with just a few expertly crafted sentences and that dazzling smile. 

With Jordan especially, Marie was a symphony of words. Her compliments to Jordan flowed freely, each one unique and tailored to highlight the best in Jordan. "You have the sweetest brown eyes," she would whisper in their ear, her voice a soft caress. Or, "You want the moon? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down," she’d recite from some sappy movie she watched the other day. Her words weren't just empty compliments though, but heartfelt expressions of her love and admiration to Jordan.

She would say "I love you" not just with her words, but with her entire being. It was in the way she held their hand, they way her fingers intertwined with Jordan's, like a silent promise to them. It was in the way her eyes would just sparkle with warmth and tenderness. And it was in the way she would say it, not just as a some frivolous saying, but with genuine emotion that resonated within Jordan's soul.

Cuddling close to Jordan was her favorite pastime, her head resting comfortably on his chest as she recounted the day's events. Her voice, a soothing sound to Jordan’s everyday worries, would paint vivid pictures of her day, maybe talking about how fun she had during one of her combat training lessons or something mundane like the food she at at the cafe, often drawing him into her world. He would listen intently, always happy that Marie would spend time with them like this. 

Jordan, on the other hand, was more of a “actions speak louder than words” type. Words tend to stumble on their tongue, a little clumsy and awkward. And it’s not like they don’t like talking. No, they talk a whole fucking lot, often quick jokes and sarcastic quips. They just struggled a bit with the “nice” part. But what they lacked in their words, they more than compensated for in gestures and deeds. A hand reaching out to brush a stray hair from Marie's forehead, a late-night surprise coffee run when she was hastily finishing an essay, a carefully chosen book left open on her desk with a single, underlined passage - these were the ways Jordan spoke their heart, to portray their love and devotion to Marie. 

Jordan was constantly drawn to her, their arms instinctively wrapping around her waist whenever they were together. It was a way of anchoring themself to her presence. Even when surrounded by their friends, Jordan would find herself gravitating towards Marie, her arm encircling her waist like a protective shield, just listening to the chatter around her.

There was a particular comfort Jordan found in resting their head on Marie's lap. It was like a sanctuary, a safe haven where the world seemed to fade away and only the gentle touch of her fingers running through their hair remained. They would close their eyes and bask in the amazingly soothing sensation, smiling to themselves, happy and content with their touch. 

But their roles reversed once they were alone, caught up in one another's desires. Jordan, would often take control, leaving Marie helplessly moaning and groaning as they relentlessly pumped their cock into her. She could only hold onto Jordan's arms for dear life as they fucked her with a ferocious passion. Or when they buried their tongue into Marie's pussy, gripping her thighs, spreading her eagle wide as they pumped their fingers relentlessly into her soaking pussy.

But no matter what they did, it always ended with Jordan buried deep inside of Marie, their bodies intertwined in a frenzy of passion. They would move together until they were both breathless, collapsing in a tangled mess of limbs and sweat.

And when they weren't fucking each other senseless, they were exploring other ways to pleasure one another. Jordan would often bury their tongue into Marie's pussy, gripping her thighs and spreading her wide as they pumped their fingers relentlessly into her soaking wet entrance.

Jordan, in contrast, became surprisingly vocal during their lovemaking. They would tease Marie, whispering the most obscene and decadent things into her ear. "Tell me how much you love my dick inside you, Marie," or "You're such a good girl for me, baby, the way you devour my pussy." The filthy words only served to heighten their pleasure, driving them both wild with desire. Marie would surrender herself completely to Jordan, reveling in their dominance and the intense pleasure it brought.

And when Jordan would cum, god they’d make the most beautiful noises, whispering the most scandalous things into Marie’s ears.

As they lay tangled together on the bed after yet another mind-blowing session of sex, Marie would lay quiet, wrapping her arms around them and Jordan would hug her tight, whispering sweet nothings into Marie's ears.

And they would do it all again.

[tableintheteacherslounge]

Abbott Elementary S03E07 thoughts

Melissa having a spare room baring in mind we’ve seen her house feels fake sorry - How will she have a room mate but noone look at her pictures and keep control of her kitchen. I get its gonna be for plot but i don’t buy it

I’m w ava that’s a woman who just found out she’s not pregnant - that’s a woman who’s been successfully slutting it up (how’s she gonna slut it up with a roommate)

Omg protective barb 🥺 (ALSO BARBS RIGHT BC MEL WOULDNT GIVE OUT HER ADDRESS WILLINGLY)

AS SOON AS SHE SAID NERD I THOUGHT JACOB

“I know its gods will but hes gotten awfully creative” 😭😭😭😭😭

I love it when Mr johnson lore gets unlocked

Manny and the beard whew 😮‍💨 I was literally wondering where he was so I’m glad they’re using him again

Janine ur SO SMART this is such a good idea and not like a janine unnecessarily fixing a problem like an actual good idea- good job babygirl

Not ava spilling the tea to the whole room

Ponytail melissa at home is so personal to me, I love that this continues from s2, this is just who she is, she throws her hair up when she’s at home. I like that she’s wearing the eagles hoodie we’ve seen before too. Love the hair, makeup & costume details on this show

“I only know how to cook for 12” 😭

Finally mel talking about her breakup! Damn maybe it really was “im not bringing this to school” this whole time

Also Gary being a dead ringer for her dad?? I’m not saying my headcanons are more correct than the show but I disagree with this statement. Gary is not schemmenti coded.

Omg the jacob melissa work momming work sonning ive been dreaming of

“And dont forget theres a 3 booked limit 😒” barb is PISSED and i LOVE IT

“Oh i know what a google doctor is 😤”

Barb really is the best character on tv im sorry noone can do it like sheryl lee ralph like they just cant Shes everything

Janine forgetting the key term (pottery wheel) in her analogy she is so me

“Jacob if u dont like my ziti just say so and i will heave myself out that window” 😭😭

“I went to find mr johnson but he was still crying” NO 😭💔 hes just a sensitive guy 😔

“Mrs howard i blew down the house” 🥺🤏🏻 I love the kids being so central in this ep, I’ve missed that recently, and the kindergarteners are soooo cute

“🐷 I am a pig 🐺 i am a wolf 😄 and im a librarian who thinks she can just change everything around here 👋” IJBOL no please give sheryl another emmy I beg

“This programme is more of a distraction than an improvement” that’s teaaa actually. Thats so often what councils etc do, distract with new flashy things rather than fix the real problems. Even though in this case it’s well meaning it does make u think how big a priority should the library actually be? But actually children reading is super important and what did they say last season? The librarian was an alexa in glasses? 🤣

“You okay? You look like raven having a vision” 😭 you don’t understand how often i say this

I have thoughts on Barbara’s intentions and my instinct is gregory needs to keep her name out his mouth. I do think it’s really important that Janine stood up to Barbara, just maybe gregory made barbara seem worse than she was

“It’s been a rough week I could use the pick me up” i just love mr johnson

My immediate reaction was this one of my favourite episodes of the season - lots of excellent Barb moments, the kids, more mr johnson, story arcs I enjoyed and felt completed.

Janine standing up to Barbara was a really big deal for her considering her hatred of conflict and worship of barbara as a mother figure. It made me really proud to see how far janine has come.

But the longer since watching the less I like it. And it’s two main things:

- the jacob melissa room mate situation feels like jumping the shark for plots sake and not something realistic for those characters. So as much as I enjoy them and their dynamic and their growth it just feels fake.

- I dont care about the librarian. The set up feels like she could stick around and I just don’t care for new characters, I like my main people. (But then the same apprehension was had w the district people and they’ve not seemed to be around much).

I do still really like this ep and it definitely ranks highly in the season, just idk, some eps I enjoy more over time but this has made me feel more confused as to what will happen next I guess.

[talonabraxas]

The Revelations of John seek to tell us what will happen in the course of time. The Apocalypse is written in pictures that express the appearance of the eternal spirit of the world. John, who beholds them, is to record these highest mysteries.

The Seven Apocalyptic Seals Talon Abraxas

We are, to begin with, concerned with seven communities, represented symbolically by seven lamp stands and seven stars. The stars are the communities' geniuses watching over them.

In the second vision John sees the four apocalyptic living beings, the lion, the bull, the eagle, and Man, surrounding a throne where sits the spirit of God. Twenty-four elders are sitting around the throne of the spirit of God. “And I saw in the right hand of him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals.” (Rev. 5:1) A lamb opens the book. The book contains, with the opening of the first four seals, what is expressed symbolically in the four apocalyptic riders; with the opening of the fifth seal the martyrs appear. These are those who have lifted themselves up to knowledge and life in the spirit. The opening of the sixth seal is followed by a horrible earthquake. With the seventh the revelation becomes audible: the seven trumpets sound forth. Mysterious pictures are then revealed; for example, a being whose legs are like two pillars, one foot stands in the sea, the other on the earth. “Then I saw another mighty angel coming down from heaven, wrapped in a cloud, with a rainbow over his head, and his face was like the sun, and his legs like pillars of fire. He had a little scroll open in his hand.” (Rev. 10:1,2) --Rudolf Steiner: Munich, April 22, 1907

[dandelionsresilience]

Good News - March 8-14, 2024

Like these weekly compilations? Support me on Ko-fi! Also, if you tip me on here or Ko-fi, at the end of the month I’ll send you a link to all of the articles I found but didn’t use each week - almost double the content! (I’m new to taking tips on here; if it doesn’t show me your username or if you have DM’s turned off, please send me a screenshot of your payment)

1. Colorado could bring back wolverines in an unprecedented rewilding effort

2. heat pumps slash emissions even if powered by a dirty grid

“Installing a heat pump now is better for the climate, even if you run it on U.S. electricity generated mostly by fossil fuels. […] Across the 48 continental states, RMI found that replacing a gas furnace with an efficient heat pump saves emissions not only cumulatively across the appliance’s lifetime, but also in the very first year it’s installed.”

3. Bald eagles seen nesting in Toronto for first time in city’s recorded history

“Presence of birds proof of improving health of city’s green spaces, as they are highly sensitive to environmental disturbances”

4. Good news for coral reef restoration efforts: Study finds 'full recovery' of reef growth within four years

“"We found that restored coral reefs can grow at the same speed as healthy coral reefs just four years after coral transplantation," says Ines Lange of University of Exeter, UK. "This means that they provide lots of habitat for marine life and efficiently protect the adjacent island from wave energy and erosion."”

5. The rewilding project bringing back an ancient breed of cattle to Portugal

“For millennia, grazing aurochs created open spaces for other species to thrive. As the closest to the extinct auroch depicted on the prehistoric engravings, Goderie says tauros can fulfil [sic] a similar ecological function that is vital for biodiversity. "Natural grazing will lead to more natural processes that are missing from local ecosystems, more habitats and more biodiversity," he says.”

6. Sycamore Gap: New life springs from rescued tree

“The horticulturalists also successfully planted seeds from the Sycamore Gap tree, now its descendants. Five months on, they are looking after nine surviving grafted plants and 40-50 seedlings.”

7. Massachusetts library will excuse overdue book charges in exchange for cat photos: ‘Feline Fee Forgiveness’

““Some of the staff were in a meeting and they were coming up with ways to bring people back to the library, and they thought, ‘What if we removed as many barriers as possible and told people they could show us a picture of a cat, draw a picture of a cat or just tell us about a cat?'””

8. Lesbian couple give birth to each other’s baby in UK first

“Their success marks the first time the procedure – which allows lesbian parents to simultaneously share in the pregnancy process, with one supplying eggs and the other carrying the baby – has been carried out in the UK.”

9. Biden-Harris administration has established four new units in the National Wildlife Refuge System

“The new four-million-acre conservation area will provide crucial protected wildlife corridors, enhance outdoor recreation access to the public and bolster climate resilience in southwest Florida.”

10. New truck front to save lives

“[B]etter truck designs can reduce passenger car compartment deformations by 30-60 percent, which reduces the risk of injury for the car occupants. Deformation of the truck was also reduced in sensitive areas and improved truck driver safety and cargo security.”

March 1-7 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[lost-estradiographer]

I just remembered that I had a blurry photo of a bird and I (excitedly!) came to your asks to show it to you but when I was looking through my photos I realized it was deleted :( and unrecoverable :(

It's okay, a blurry memory is good too. I swear I saw an eagle flying over my college campus a few months ago. It was only visible when it flew over the gap between the library and the pool, but there's no way it was anything else. Alas, I was eating a bagel and couldn't get a picture in time.

[i-fondued]

Ghost | Sinners in Secret - Chapter 5

Chapter Five - The Sofa Incident

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x Reader/Sister of Sin x Papa “Terzo” Emeritus III

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Plot, smut, etc. See AO3 for full list of tags!

A/N: Early upload because I thought this was a good stopping point before we got to the actual plot that will be in the next chapter!

Chapter One - HERE

Chapter Two - HERE

Chapter Three - HERE

Chapter Four - HERE

AO3 Link - HERE

The sunshine was bright on my face when I woke up, eyes bleary as I rolled over and away from the sun. I rubbed at my eyes and stretched before I decided to face the day. I had somehow convinced myself the last twenty four hours were just a dream. Taking in the beautiful bedroom, the view from the large picture windows by my bed, I smiled to myself. The sound of soft snoring pulled my attention and I turned to the sound. 

Terzo was sound asleep. He was laying on his chest with his arms curled tightly around the pillow he rested his head on, a little trail of drool on his pillow. I sighed fondly as I pushed his hair away from his face, the dark strands tickling his eyelashes as he slept. He didn’t wear anything and I greedily took in the sight of his bare skin, blankets tangled around his waist and legs. But the best part of waking up to find Terzo was in my bed? He had washed his papal paints off at some point after I fell asleep and his face was bare. 

Terzo’s face was relaxed while he slept but there were faint lines around his mouth and eyes, lines that told a story of a joyful youth and of the mischievous Papa I’d grown to adore. His cheeks had a very light stubble and I smiled at the thought of him having to shave every morning before putting on his paints. I cuddled up to him, my thumb brushing over his eyebrows as he dreamed something that made him crinkle up his face. He relaxed slightly, sighing and throwing an arm around my waist and pulling me to him. I giggled as he sleepily pressed a kiss to my temple. 

“Sonno, Tesoro…” He grumbled, nuzzling my shoulder as he curled onto his side “Too early…” 

He fell back asleep quickly and I was able to begrudgingly slip from his arms and out of the bed. The fire that had been lit in the fireplace last night had long burned out, the room was cold and I shivered as I slipped from the bed. I quickly pulled on my robe that was laying across the bench at the foot of the bed and tip-toed into the bathroom, feet cold from the stone floor.

I took my time getting ready this morning, taking a nice long shower even though I was tempted to take a bath. I braided my hair before pulling on my standard sibling robes, Imperator had told me there was going to be a change to my wardrobe once I officially took the role of Prime Mover and part of me dreaded the idea of getting rid of something that had been so constant in my life for the last several years. It felt good to put on something that everyone around me wore, it had become my armor over the years. My habit like a battle worn helmet, loved and worn with care.

I crept quietly from my bedroom, Terzo now spread eagle in the middle, and started on making coffee. While that brewed I went and picked out a book from my bookshelf, finally settling on one of the books I had borrowed from the library the day before. Putting the book on the coffee table I went back to the kitchen and made myself my morning cup of coffee and curled up on the couch with my cup steaming between my hands. I made it a few chapters in before I felt someone’s hands rest on the back of the sofa behind me. I tilted my head back against the couch and looked up and saw Terzo, hair slightly damp and face freshly shaved. He didn’t have a shirt on but I could see the towel slung low on his hips.

“Buongiorno, Sorella.” He spoke happily as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to my lips. “You did not wake me when you got up. I would have liked to show you what the bench in the shower is for…”

“You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you.” I sighed as he rubbed my shoulders, my eyes sliding closed as I hummed in delight. 

“To see you naked and wet, Tesoro, I would wake happily.” He purred in my ear before standing and walking towards the door that separated our rooms, he flung them open and left them as he called back to me. “I must get ready, do not leave for colazione without me! I worked up quite a hunger last night.”

I laughed, cheeks flushing as I finished off my coffee, skimming more of the book before there was a soft knock on my door. 

“Come in!” I called, Copia stepped in and I smiled at the look on his face. He looked at me sitting on the couch with coffee in my hands, eyes soft as he came in wearing his black cassock today. “Ah, good morning Copia.”

“Good morning, Stellina.” He smiled softly back at me as he came to sit next to me on the couch, cupping my cheek as he tilted my head towards him to press a warm kiss to my lips. “I trust you slept well, si?”

“I did, there’s something to be said for a bed big enough for six.” I laughed as he took my legs and placed them in his lap, rubbing my calves and his leather clad fingers teased a sensitive spot by the inside of my knee. “At the very least the upgrade to my quarters has been the best part of all this.”

“Not the ability for us to spend time alone?” He teased, fingers drawing lazy circles on my inner thigh as I shuddered and my cheeks flushed softly. “Not the fact that the clergy is essentially giving you permission to spend your days fucking your little heart out?”

“I-I mean that is also a very delightful bonus…” I stuttered as his gloved fingers teased my thighs as they parted without me even thinking about it.

“We’ll see if you’ve earned it tonight, Sorella.” His voice deepened, mismatched eyes fiery with lust, and his hand gripped my thigh possessively. 

Gracelessly I tossed the old book I had been reading on the coffee table and slipped to straddle Copia’s lap. My arms wrapped around his neck and I knocked his biretta off his head to the empty seat on the couch. His hands came to hold my hips and pulled me to grind down against him, cock already hard so early in the day. I shuddered and pressed urgent kisses to Copia’s lips, suddenly needy for him. He chuckled against my lips, hand winding around my braid before tugging it so I’d have to bend away from him. I whined, grinding against him and panting, as my heart pumped painfully in my chest.

“Sto interrompendo qualcosa?” Terzo’s voice made me jump, but Copia held me in place. I squirmed under the hot gaze of the cardinal as Terzo came to stand behind the couch, leaning slightly against the back. “What ever did Sorella do?”

“She apparently is too eager for our evening together, fratello…” Copia purred, both men’s eyes on me making me pant at the feral expressions on their faces. “Did you not satisfy her needs last night?”

“I heard no complaints…” Terzo chucked, reaching out to cup my cheek before he ran the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip. “Il  Cardinale e un bastardo arrogante, eh Tesoro?”

Both of them glared at each other; smirking, throwing snide comments about prowess and scoffing, before Copia let go of my hair. I whimpered at the loss of contact and was about to just pounce on them till I heard the chime of the clock on the mantle. Breakfast was just beginning and we were going to be late.

After some coaxing from me, I was able to separate the pair of preening peacocks and we finally started down to breakfast. Copia had my hand tucked into the crook of his arm and Papa walked close on my left side. As we walked down the halls we received a good mix of looks; some were curious, some openly stared, and others were downright hostile in my direction. When we reached the dining room doors I paused, halting all three of us as Copia started to open the door. 

“Sorella..?” He spoke, voice suddenly soft and full of concern as they both looked at my face. 

“I-I’m okay. Just anxious.” I smiled, though it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Copia pushed the doors open, Papa taking my arm and pulling me close to him as we stepped into the hall. There was a quiet hush that spread as we walked in, heading toward where I normally sat. Sister Imperator caught us before we could head any farther into the room, a polite smile on her face before she spoke. 

“In light of recent developments, Sister, we’d like you to dine with us at the head table.” She gestured to the three empty seats at the end of the table and I had to hold my groan in. “Please, sit.”

She wasn’t asking. 

Terzo lead me over to the table, Copia pulled out my chair and helped push it in as I sat down. Terzo and Copia both sat down almost at the same time and the three of us exchanged looks, feeling all the eyes of the room on us. I looked to my left and saw Primo giving me a small warm smile, Secondo was looking at me curiously and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. His sharp features and narrowed eyes locked on me and I couldn’t help the shutter that ran through me, the man was intimidating on the best of days and downright frightening on bad ones. A clinking of silverware on glass pulled me from my thoughts as Sister Imperator called the attention of the siblings present. 

“I’d like to make an announcement on behalf of the Clergy and Papal seats.” She turned and bowed her head at Terzo and Copia before continuing. “Many of you have heard of the Prime Mover phenomenon, I’m happy to announce that we have found one in our mists. Sister…” She gestured to me and I felt my face drain of all blood. “She has been selected by Satan himself to become the next Prime Mover. Please extend her the same respect and reverence you do to Papa himself. She will become his right hand and his confidant, his paramore.”

At her words I felt Copia tense next to me, my hand drifting to rest on his thigh. She hadn’t mentioned him or his role in all this either which didn’t sit well with me. Hadn’t she been the one to push that what Secondo had seen meant I was to be with both Terzo and Copia? Was this her way of guiding me towards what they thought was best? My stomach filled with anger and anxiety, suddenly feeling like I was being manipulated in a game I didn’t know all the rules. My heart ached at the idea of losing him, he had been the first person here at the abbey who took the time to actually get to know me when I first joined. 

I felt Terzo’s hand squeeze my own on top of the table, looking over at him and giving him a small smile. He gave me a small nod towards Copia whose face was looking reddened with fury as he listened to the rest of the morning announcements before everyone around us began to dig into breakfast. I quietly ate my breakfast, avoiding all the looks from the other siblings and tried to subtly gain the attention of Copia who seemed determined to ignore everyone. 

“Co-Cardinal, are you free after breakfast?” I tried to ask him as casually as possible. 

“I actually have quite a few meetings, Sorella.” He answered simply, eyes still trained on his plate as he stabbed at a potato cube with more force than entirely necessary. “Mie scuse.”

Copia stood, pushing his chair away from the table and stormed from the dining room under a hush of whispers from the other tables. His breakfast had barely been touched, my heart clenching painfully, and I started to stand to follow him but Terzo’s hand gripped my thigh to my chair tightly.

“Give him some space, Tesoro…” He murmured to me, shaking his head softly. “Imperator has made a statement of what side of all this she is on and it is not his side.”

“But she was the one who brought up the vision, I don’t understand why she would change her mind.” I mumbled, poking around at my breakfast, no longer interested in the eggs and sausage. 

“Chissà cosa passa nella mente del vecchio pipistrello…” Terzo grumbled as he ate, sipping his espresso in between bites of toast. “Cardinale and I will understand however you choose, Tesoro. I think trying to communicate with His Darkness will help you with this decision.”

“But what will I do if what he says isn’t what I want to pick…” I whispered, eyes locked on his missmatched gaze. He smiled wryly, hand coming up to cup my cheek as he leaned to whisper in my ear. 

“Disobedience is the ultimate sin, Sorella. Why would Lucifer himself not support your lust for carnal delights?”

…

After breakfast, Terzo and I swore we would just stick to meals in my rooms. Several siblings came up to the table at points to offer praise or thanks to Papa, their glares in my direction not unmissed by me. A handful of them offered me praise as well, thanking me for continuing the sacred Emeritus line. I blushed and stammered out replies each time; I was completely unprepared for any of the attention but Terzo helped walk me through the whole interaction. He was in his element, taking the praise in stride and slyly chiding the siblings who aimed any scorn at me. When we finally left the dining room, Terzo walked me to the library doors. 

“I must leave you here Tesoro.” He sighed, taking my hand to press a soft kiss on my knuckles. “I had been pushing off papal paperwork and now with the Cardinale in a terribile mood I fear he will not help me this time…”

“You could always work on it here with me, I have a whole corner of the library to myself during the day.” I perked up, he still hadn’t let go of my hand and I could feel the heat of his hands through the silk gloves. 

“I feel I will not get much work done, Sorella.” He chuckled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to my temple. “I will see you later for lunch, si?”

“Of course, Papa.” I smiled, leaning into his kiss before we parted. 

I watched him walk away, hands together behind his back and when he turned the corner he looked back and winked at me. I blushed before slipping into the library, his chuckles echoing in the hallway. Using the back staircase I made my way up to my unofficial office, which was really an old abandoned corner of the library with the oldest scrolls kept in bookshelves with glass doors. There was a large standing table where all my work was spread out haphazardly, though I knew what everything was and where I had left it. 

Against the back wall of the corner were several cabinets that had all of my more important and secretive translations locked away for future use, most dark rituals only to be used in emergencies or information that the Clergy didn’t want just any sibling to have access too. The other wall had a large set of windows that let all the morning light into the space, the sofa Copia had brought for me sitting under the window. 

I started on my work, habit pulled off and tossed to the side as I tucked a pen in my hair and jotted down notes and worked through the large stack that had been left out from the other day. Quietly I moved around the space, humming to myself as I moved things around and tucked papers away in their proper places. I had just finished up a few folders worth of translations and scroll summaries for Copia when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist. The scent of sandalwood and incense overwhelmed my senses as I felt him rest his chin on my shoulder, cheek pressed against my face. 

“I’m sorry about breakfast, I should not have left like that.” Copia sighed in my ear. 

It was rare for him to act so openly tender with me, he was always wound so tight in public that he was normally distant. Tender words and soft caresses had always been savored in the privacy of his office or my room. My heart thrummed in my chest as I leaned back against him, work temporarily put to the side. 

“It’s okay…this whole thing…it's a lot,” I mumbled as we rocked slightly, Copia pressing soft kisses against my neck. My eyes closed as I sighed happily. “I don’t want you to think that I am forgetting about you, about us.”

“I know, Stellina.” 

I felt like purring under his lips, his mustache tickling my sensitive neck, and I leaned back against him. He pulled away and turned me in his arms. Copia backed me up against the table behind me and pressed a tender kiss to my lips. I sighed happily, wrapping my arms around his neck as his hands rested on either side of my hips on the table. Our kiss grew from something tender to heated. His tongue brushed against my bottom lip and I parted my lips to allow him to slip into my mouth, head tilting to give him more access. 

“Copia…” I moaned into his mouth, my hands moving to push at his cassock greedily. His hands gripped my hips and rolled them against his, already hard against my hip, his breath mingling with mine as he groaned.

“Sorella.” He groaned, hands tugging at my skirts needling. “Per favore…”

It had been a long time since I had heard him beg for me, my pulse thundering, as I helped him push my skirts up and tugged my underwear down. I reached forward and helped him unbutton his cassock to be able to get to his trousers. My hands tugged at his buttons and caressed the bulge as he kissed me, soft groans mingled in between us. My head fell to the side as Copia’s fingers brushed against my soaked slit, my hips jumping forward in search of more friction, and I looked towards the arch leading into my little space and saw Terzo.

He was leaning against the wood, arms crossed across his chest, and his eyes were fixated on us. His breath was coming in short pants as our eyes locked, his trousers doing nothing to hide his obvious arousal at finding us. My face blushed deep red before I reached towards him, Copia finally noticing my squirming and turning to see Terzo. He smirked at Papa, pushing my legs open so he would be able to see Copia’s fingers as they lazily caressed my core. I bit my lip to muffle the moan that threatened to draw someone our way.

“Aspetto Papa, guarda quanto la sorella chiede di essere liberata.” Copia purred his free hand coming to turn my face to watch Terzo. “Keep your eyes on Papa, Stellina. Show him what a good girl you can be…”

I was panting, my legs shaking, as he teased me. Copia’s fingers slipped inside me and I threw my head back, covering my mouth with my hand to muffle the moan. The Cardinal’s hand tangled in my braid and tugged sharply so I couldn’t look away from Terzo. He took a few steps towards me before Copia spoke again, voice firm and low. 

“Guarda ma non toccare, Papa.” Copia eyes locked on me but I could see Terzo’s eyes flutter between my squirming body and Copia’s tightly controlled form. “You may sit on the sofa.”

I’d never seen Terzo go from his cocky self assured self to this obedient and subdued man that walked slowly to sit on the sofa. Copia continued to ignore the other person in the room as he teased me, his fingers lazily thrusting slowly as he whispered filth in my ear. My hands reached for his cock, needing to touch him and he snatched my wrist before pinning it to the table. 

“Cardinale…” Terzo whined, I watched as he squirmed on the couch behind us. “I cannot see Sorella…”

Copia’s face darkened before he smirked, I shivered at the look in his eye. He stepped back, taking my hand and pulling me along to the arm of the couch. Terzo slid back to rest against the arm on the opposite and his hand slipped to caress his obviously hard cock over his trousers. I watched, transfixed as he squirmed and Copia kissed my neck softly before he pushed on my shoulder and had me bend over the armrest. My hands settled on the couch cushion, the wood of the arm of the couch bit into my hips but I couldn’t care less. 

“Scusami, Stellina.” Copia purred in my ear as he pulled my skirts up and over my hips, kicking my feet apart as his fingers gently caressed my clit. I hissed a breath between my teeth and my fingers dug into the cushion. “Tranquillo in biblioteca, Si?”

“Yes, Cardinal.” I mumbled, squirming as he ran the head of his cock up and down my dripping cunt. “Please…”

“Ah, Sorella. Do not tell me you wish to rush our performance?” He teased, one hand coming up to grip my shoulder tightly as he pressed forward at a burningly slow pace. “We have a special guest after all.”

I squirmed under him, pinned down with a surprising strength as I attempted to roll my hips back against him. Copia’s hand came to grip my hip in place as he pushed to sink fully into me. I let out a groan louder than I meant too and Terzo surged forward, pressing his hand against my mouth. My eyes locked on his own mismatched gaze, my cheeks flushed and he was panting. I could see his cock straining against his trousers and I itched to reach for him. 

“You may kiss her, Papa. If only to keep her quiet.” Copia grunted as he began to thrust with more earnestness, I squirmed back against him to try and get as much friction as possible. 

Terzo didn’t need to be told twice, his hand moving to cup my cheek as he kissed me fiercely. I groaned into the kisses arms feeling weak as the heat pooled in my belly, Copia’s iron like grip was the only thing keeping me in place as he pounded into me. Terzo’s tongue massaged and coaxed mine into his mouth as he swallowed my moans and whimpers. The sound of wet skin smacking together felt obscene in the secluded space. I could feel Terzo fisting himself earnestly as he watched us. He murmured filthy things against my lips as my back arched against Copia. 

“You may touch her, Papa.” Copia hissed quietly through his teeth, his hand gripping my hip pulling me back to make room for Terzo to slide an arm between us. “Make her come before I do and I am sure Sorella will reward you.”

I moaned into Terzo’s mouth as I felt his bare fingers gently circle my clit. My head falling to rest on his shoulder as he teased me, my orgasam building quickly as Copia began to pound into me fiercely, his own orgasm approaching quickly. I begged for Terzo to not stop and he quickly rubbed at the little bundle of nerves as I panted against him. My hands settled on his thighs and I dug my nails into his pants and skin as I felt the thread of my lust pulled tight behind my navel. 

“Now, Tesoro.” Terzo purred in my ear as he sunk his teeth into the sensitive flesh of my neck. 

The thread snapped, my arms finally gave out and I practically fell into Terzo’s lap as his other hand came up to cover my mouth as I cried out, muffling it at the last minute. I felt my cunt clenching Copia’s cock as I rode out the aftershocks and after a few more sharp thrusts I felt him curl around me, teeth digging into my throat as he bit down on me to muffle his groan as his cock twitched and spilled his seed inside me. I felt like I was floating as both men kissed my neck, face and cheeks; whispering sweet things in Italian as I came down from the high of my orgasm.

“Che brava ragazza, Sorella.” Copia murmured into my skin as he pulled out of me, helping to adjust my skirts and stand up. He leaned to whisper in my ear from behind, a shiver running up my spine. “Do you wish to reward Papa for being so patient with us?”

My eyes took in the ragged sight of Terzo; he was sitting on the couch, legs opened wide, chest heaving, and his eyes couldn’t seem to look away from Copia and I. My chest warmed at the sight of him, his paints slightly messy from our frantic kisses, and I nodded quickly. Copia chucked and gave me a pat on the ass, a gentle push toward Terzo. “Do a good job, Stellina.”

I blushed furiously as I sank to my knees between Terzo’s legs, my hands coming to rest on top of his thighs. His breath hitched as my fingers tugged open his trousers and slipped his leaking cock free. His head fell back but his eyes were locked on mine as I ran my hand up and down his length, squeezing gently as he rolled his hips to thrust weakly into my hand. 

I let my thumb run over the head of his cock, smearing the precum over the tip, before I leaned forward and ran my tongue against the underside. Terzo shoved his fist in between his teeth to hold back the groan rumbling in his chest as he watched me take his length into my warm mouth. My tongue circled around the head as I bobbed up and down, sucking him and hollowing out my cheeks as I tried to take him as deeply as I could. Terzo’s cock wasn’t as long as Copia’s but he had more girth and my jaw began to ache as I worked him furiously. I squirmed on my knees, rubbing my thighs together to bring some sort of friction to my core as I felt my lust pool between my legs again. I moaned around his cock and Terzo’s hips jumped up to thrust into my mouth. I felt hands on my head, tangling with my hair and I looked to the side and saw the smirk on Copia’s face as he cupped my jaw. 

“Deeper, Stellina.” He murmured before pushing me forward, I gagged slightly but groaned. Terzo’s hand came to rest on the top of my head and I worked him as deep as I could. “Good girl.”

Terzo began to fuck my throat and I knew he was close by the disjointed noises coming from his mouth, he was getting a little louder and I was worried someone was going to catch us. I was panting as I watched Copia’s leather clad hand come up to cover Terzo’s mouth. My eyes widened and I whimpered at the look of shock on the other man’s face as Copia smirked darkly. 

“Devi anche stare zitto, fratello, non vogliamo farci beccare così, giusto?” Copia’ purred leaning closer to Terzo, who was panting. I felt his cock twitch as Copia pressed his lips against the back of the hand against Papa’s mouth. “Sii un bravo ragazzo per me, sì?”

Terzo groaned into Copia’s palm and I felt his hips rocking into my mouth before his cock twitched and he shot his hot seed down my throat. 

“Swallow it all, Sorella.” Copia murmured in my ear and I moaned as I did as I was told. 

The Cardinal leaned back and smirked at us, Terzo absolutely boneless on the sofa and myself panting as I tried to steady myself on the floor. I felt Copia’s gentle hand brush the hair away from my face and I rested my cheek on Terzo’s thigh and smiled up at them. 

“Perfezione assoluta, Stellina.” He sighed before Terzo’s hand caressed my cheek as well, his free hand tucking his softened cock back in his trousers.

“Si, Tesoro. You have been such a good girl.” His voice breathless as all three of us basked in the company of each other. 

I felt both men pull me from the floor onto the couch with them. My head rested on Copia’s chest while Terzo rubbed at my numb knees and calves. Copia’s arms wrapped around me and rubbed my arms soothingly. I hummed under their attention as they massaged all the sore muscles and spoke to each other softly in italian. My eyes felt heavy, exhausted from the last few days of excitement. As I felt myself drifting off, someone cleared their throat. I jumped and sat up from Copia’s arms, legs coming from Terzo’s lap to curl under me. 

Standing in the doorway, arms crossed and eyebrows arched sharply was Secondo. He wasn’t wearing his paints or his robes today, instead he wore a simple white button up and black dress pants. He looked between the three of us suspiciously before Terzo spoke.

“Fratello, what are you doing here? I did not think you read.” Terzo teased, standing and attempting to put his brother in a headlock. Secondo shoved him in the stomach, Terzo letting out a groan before he slunk back to sit on the couch. 

“I was looking for Sorella.” Secondo’s gruff voice spoke, his eyes locked on mine. “After lunch, come to my rooms so we can work on the ritual. You do not have much experience with rituals do you?”

“No Sir.” I replied truthfully, a slight blush on my cheeks. A majority of the rituals involved blood and I was slightly squeamish so I had always shied away from them. 

“At least we don’t have to work on your Latin skills…” He muttered, sighing before turning to leave the room. He paused, turning back and smirking at me again. “You all may want to find a mirror, you’ve all got grease paints all over you.”

My face was instantly bright red, hand coming to rub at my lips and cheeks. Sure enough, there was black paint on my fingers. Copia smacked his face into his hands, Terzo looked far too proud of himself. 

“T-thank you, Secondo!” I called after him, hearing his muttering about what he had gotten involved in.

[overpopulatedbrain]

El Tigre/OC Crossover blabbering woohoo

I had a dream related to my OCs Laika and Jaime in El Tigre during my nap today. I love the idea of Laika and Frida being friends and Frida getting Laika into mischief and Jaime being a bad influence on Manny. Like Manny is the more wholesome of the two.

-Jaime: *is drawing stick figures with boobs* Manny: Whatcha drawing? Jaime: GAH!

-Frida and Laika up to shenanigans at night and Laika keeps falling asleep.

-Frida playing with leftover ink Laika shot.

-Frida throwing a hissy fit because Laika didn't invite her to see Gorillaz but then later breaking into the concert because of a supervillain fight and Manny has to save the band.

-Frida calling Laika a nerd for being good at school and Laika flipping Frida off only to later have to tutor Frida.

-Jaime showing Manny 2 Girls 1 Cup and scarring him.

-Laika asks about the video and they change the subject. Jaime would always get into trouble at Leone Middle School. “Yeah I beat up that ugly ass Bart Simpson looking kid. He made fun of Laika I had to.” At least once a day you hear in the hallways "Jaime Hildalgo-Alvarez" being shouted by the principal.

-Jaime is like “dude your grandpapi is literally like mine but less dirty and cussy and has a cool ass sombrero. I wish I had your dad, he’s so cool! My dad’s not in the picture and stepdad hates me.” “No he doesn’t!” “Yes he does. You haven’t met him.” “No he doesn’t! Isn’t it like illegal to hate your kids?” “I ain’t his fucking kid.” “Or step kids?”

They meet him and afterwards Manny looks at Jaime sadly while Jaime pouts angrily.

-Jaime would date Zoey Aves for a week not even and then dump her. “Frida’s right-she’s a whiny biiiitch. And definitely Black Cuervo.”

-Ainsley would be nicer to Laika and when she’s not around passive aggressive to the other three. When The Lab shit happens, they’re surprised but not surprised.

-Jaime loves Manny's house so much that he gives his mother and stepdad a hard time when he has to leave. After mouthing off to his stepdad he only stops when it makes Laika nervous.

-Jaime would talk to Manny Frida and Laika less after joining the soccer team because he goes through a phase of trying to be popular.

-Neri Laika Jaime Manny and Frida are all in the same resource classroom.

-Laika helping Manny's mom in the library.

-Jaime would be good friends with Django of the undead and Che but would not like The Golden Eagle Twins Chipotle Jr. Sergio or Zoey Aves.

-Zoey would be mean to Laika for no reason. Actually she would think Laika likes Manny romantically.

-Laika being diagnosed with autism and none of the crew are surprised. At all. Jaime's like "where's my diagnosis?!!"

-Laika coming out of the damn lab and the crew having a big group hug and crying.

-Ainsley would be more mean to the crew post events of The Lab.

-Kari Melba Soledad Ester and Frida would fuck shit uuuuup.

-Frida helping Laika with conversational Spanish.

-Frida having to put the police dogs in her parents' room because Laika's afraid.

-Kari Laika and Jaime helping save the day with their powers. Jaime has a harder time controlling them.

-Jaime loves messing around with Davi and telling him scary shit just to scare him.

-Jaime once calls Manny's mother hot and Manny smacks him upside the head.

-Laika and Neri go through a period of not seeing Manny and Frida in 9th grade due to not having classes together. Laika and her brothers are away for most of this summer at summer camp during that summer. They become friendlier in 10th grade.

-Laika tries to befriend Sophia. It does not go well.

-Frida and Manny are the first peer friend Laika comes out to. Frida blabs however and Manny has to keep Frida's mouth shut about it. Puts a rift in the squad dynamic.

-Kari calling Manny cute at a sleepover in front of Frida and getting the stink eye for it.

-Jaime and Kari singing Spoonman by Soundgarden at El Cucharon.

-Kari and Frida waking Laika and Manny up with guitars. Jaime jumping on the bed screaming at them to wake up.

-Frida's parents love Laika because they feel she is a good role model for their daughter.

-Laika would always be getting hurt or into trouble because of Frida. Part of the time she'd be getting her ass saved and the other part she'd save the day.

-Laika helps Frida get diagnosed with ADHD and accomodations.

-Jaime and Frida would stand up to assholes bullying Laika.

-Jaime convinces Manny and Frida to apologize to Sergio for being mean to him on his first day of school because Laika was bullied for being a Gorillaz fan in 6th and 7th grade and that story reminds him of that.

[stesierra]

Word Finding Game Tag!

@avrablake tagged me! The words are: rain, carve, look, bury, burn, and buy. I'm going to draw from Stitches and Memories today! Writing below the cut!

Rain

The last statue belonged to the Eagle God. It sat at the very center of the crowd, depicting a man with piercing eyes and a hooked nose and feathers where his hair should have been. His limbs and chest were heavy with muscle under the armor he wore, and he raised a long, one-edged sword towards the sky. The statue was painted in shades of blue and gray and black except for the skin, which was the same hue as good bronze.

Reza said, "Vilsel? What do we have worthy of a god?"

Vilsel came to stand at her foot, his eyes captured by the statue's stern face. "Little, Your Highness. Some coin and food."

Reza sighed. "I was afraid you would say that. Here." She pulled the jeweled rings from her fingers and let them rain into Vilsel's open hands. "Give these to the Eagle God, with the greatest respect."

Vilsel went forward and arranged the jewelry in a rosette on the god's altar. It shone there beautifully but otherwise did not stand out. The altar was already stuffed full of riches. No one dared make a poor offering to the king of the gods, and so, over the years, worshipers had showered his feet with gold and diamonds and even a few bejeweled crowns. Antea stared at the crowns and wondered if past heirs to the throne had left them here in their quest to win the god's favor.

Carve

They left behind the emptiness of the cave entrance as they descended into the cavern, following a walkway through the middle of a vast room. Its ceiling caught only a hint of Jedan's light. Vibrant turquoise water flowed by silently to either side of the path, vanishing somewhere beneath where they walked. The cave was not like illustrations Antea had seen in books at the library, illustrations that were always full of stalactites and columns and ribbons of rock. This one didn't have decorative growths at all. It looked as though something had carved the cave out of the granite with a giant spoon and an unsteady hand. The walls were full of dips and gouges, and only the path where they walked was relatively flat.

Look

She turned the first page and caught her breath. Sprawled across the pages was a dragon, its long neck twisted in a graceful "s", its wingless back hidden under a forest of spikes. Its tail trailed off the page. The artist had taken the time to include every diamond-shaped scale.

Antea read aloud, very quietly, "A seed of dishonesty lies in every human heart. An example: Dragons eat the dishonest. Dragons don't exist. One of those statements is a lie." The claws of the dragon stretched towards her, its eyes so black they seemed to eat away at the page. "I, the writer, am human and I thought that lie."

Something stirred, looking at that picture, reading those words, and it seized her mind and shook it until the writing on the page swam and melted. The memory grabbed at her -- a jade statue of a rearing dragon on a marble pedestal just face-high -- and knives jammed themselves into her ears. She felt like she was falling.

Bury

Antea's nostrils flared, and heat flooded her core. "What’s strange is, there aren't supposed to be bandits on this road. The soldiers patrol it. It's the main road. The damn main road!"

"Getting upset is not going to make that dead man go away."

She blew air out and tried to still her shaking hands. "Do we have to bury him? Report him?"

"I shouldn't think so. The soldiers will find him soon, and since they didn't do their job of keeping him off the roads, I don't feel bad about making them dig the hole."

Burn

Zoren leaned on the desk, scattering papers and tape everywhere, and fixed her with sharp eyes. "What did that book tell you to do?"

"Excuse me?"

He shook his head and folded his arms tight around him. "I should have thrown it on the fire."

Antea's jaw dropped, and she planted both her hands on his desk. "You don't burn books. You never burn books."

"I should have made an exception. Then you would not be leaving on some fool journey it told you to make."

Her chest felt tight, and she shook her head wildly, still leaning on his desk. "Look, the book hasn't told me anything! I haven't even read it yet! I'm leaving because I need to find my father. This is my only chance. Please understand."

Buy

The farmer closed his hand over the oboles, casting her an offended look as though he had heard her thoughts. "You can have the barn for tonight, but I warn you now that you'll be sharing."

Jedan's brow furrowed. "Sharing?"

"Girl came in before you did and asked to sleep in the barn. Paid me a third of what you did, but there's only one of her, and I've used up all my charity for the night." He stepped farther from the door and pointed them towards the barn. It was twice the size of the house, with a similar thatched roof and splintered walls no one had bothered to whitewash in years. "Go over there and get out of my face." And the farmer stepped back inside, coins clutched tight in his white-knuckled hand, and slammed the door in their faces.

Antea glared at the door and resisted the urge to go and pound on it again. She muttered to Jedan, "Shouldn't that much money buy a meal, too?"

He shook his head. "Be kind. The taxes a farmer pays are terrible."

"I guess. You didn't get poked in the boob."

Jedan coughed. "No, I did not."

Tagging @elizababie, @squarebracket-trick, and @macabremoons. Your words are dig, ride, jump, cut and drown!

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (25 Jun - 1 Jul 2023)

ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡ ᵖᶦᶜ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵉ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʷᵉᵉᵏ

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰Cabin Pressure: Series 5 (Zurich) (John Finnemore, author; Stephanie Cole/Roger Allam/Benedict Cumberbatch/John Finnemore, narrator) - the final flight of MJN Air and crew

😍Mr. Eames and the Boy Wonder (saltandbyrne) - 85K, arthur/eames AU - eames is a leather Dom, arthur's a cosplayer who commissions him to make a harness for a costume, massive sparks - great characterizations & character voices, very, very hot

😊i wanna cut to the feeling (hairstevington) - 79K, steddie AU - ' the fic where Hairstylist!Steve fixes Rockstar!Eddie's hair before a show and falls in love immediately' - cute & fun

😍Unpredictable Synchronicity (Zenaidamacrouras1) - 115K, shrunkyclunks - PHENOMENAL fic - bucky's a civil rights lawyer, *very* slow burn, incredible characterizations, so many LOL lines. Plus bonus instructions on how to badger/shame your elected officials over the human rights violations currently being perpetrated

💖💖 +48K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

I Didn't Know What Time It Was (MoreThanSlightly (cadignan)) - MCU: stucky, 19K - great WS recovery fic

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

D20: A Crown of Candy - " There is Strength in Sweetness" (s5,e1)

D20: A Crown of Candy - "Ambush on the Sucrosi Road" (s5,e2)

Mamma Mia!

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Re: Dracula - June 25: Dead or Asleep

50 MPH - 1 MPH / Getting Up to... Speed

50 MPH - 2 MPH / Is Speed a Masterpiece? (with Justin Chang)

The Soundtrack Show - The Goonies: the Music

⭐The Soundtrack Show - Halloween: the Music

Big Gay Fiction Podcast - Mark Kanemura: From Dancer to Children's Book Author

The Sporkful - The Food-Obsessed Subculture Of The Appalachian Trail

Rachel Maddow Presents: Déjà News - Episode 3: "The Meanest, Dirtiest, Low-Down Stuff"

American Hysteria - Pig Hill | Urban Legends Hotline

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Hunga Tonga-Hunga Ha'apai

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Italian War on Pasta

Switched on Pop - What makes a gay anthem?

Simply Reflecting - Welcome to Simply Reflecting!

Into It - My Beyoncé Ticket Cost $4,000: Why the Touring Industry Might Be Broken

Shedunnit - Meet The Coles

Stuff The British Stole - The Head in the Library

Vibe Check - Love, Life, and Liquor

Outward Plus - Despair Is a Rational Response to Anti-Trans Activism

ICYMI Plus - Finding Queer Love Online

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - We Heart Disasters… with John Marr

Endless Thread - 'Going Dark': Reddit's API Changes

Simply Reflecting - The Plane Is Running Out of Fuel?

Re: Dracula - June 29: Tonight is Mine

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - No Taste Like Home

99% Invisible #542 - Player Piano

50 MPH - 3 MPH / An Exercise in Structure

⭐Song Exploder - Natalie Merchant - Sister Tilly

Ologies with Alie Ward - Field Trip: Birds of Prey and Raptor Facts

Our Opinions Are Correct - Silicon Valley vs. Science Fiction: Ayn Rand

Re: Dracula - June 30: Devils of the Pit

Dear Prudence Plus - A Co-Worker I Dated is Spreading Rumors About Our Breakup. Help!

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Indiana Jones And What's Making Us Happy

Endless Thread - Pup Play

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Speed (Original Motion Picture Score)

John Denver Radio • 1970s

Alternative Radio • 1970s

Donna Summer Radio • Upbeat

Presenting Kelly Clarkson

chemistry [Kelly Clarkson] {2023}

Lady Gaga

my Eagles playlist

my Fleetwood Mac playlist

my The Go-Go's playlist

[excusethequality]

My 2024 in Film: March, part. 1

It would seem that I watched too many movies in March for Tumblr to handle!

By which I mean that it turns out there's a limit on the number of images you can attach to a single post and I watched more than that.

But I've been liking having a picture to go with each entry, so I'm gonna have to just split this one into two posts. Which means that you get two big posts instead of one monstrous post.

So really this is probably for the best?

Anyways, it was a month of extremes. Some soaring highs and some rage inducing lows.

So join me as I ramble about such things as: classic documentaries, experiments in gender, why the Academy can die in a fire, the difference between bad movies that are interesting and bad movies that make you wonder why you did this to yourself, and more!

* = rewatched

37.

Scream VI

(2023)

— Meta Horror Directed by: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

The people who were still alive after Scream 5 are back, weirdly not harboring any sort of PTSD from what they lived through, and living in NYC. That's right: Scream is lost in New York.

Both these new Screams want to create a new franchise with a new cast of characters. Cool. I always appreciate when someone tries to move the timeline forward instead of just remixing the original.

But it's hard for me to care about these new characters, because there's shockingly little character development. I'd swear the last movie never happened, because the new crew seem utterly unfazed from having narrowly survived being brutally slaughtered and having witnessed the deaths of close friends and family.

And the two main characters are the most boring of them all!

I know a lot of people would disagree with me and love this one. So clearly there's a difference of opinions out there.

I will say that I liked this a LOT more than 5. Moving the location from Woodsboro was a great move and was a lot more fun than I was expecting.

And, I know this isn't what I should have been focusing on, but the Halloween costumes in this movie?! They are fantastic. There are so many great ones lurking in the backgrounds of shots. Far and away my favorite part of the movie was trying to identify all the Halloween costumes.

38.

An American Pickle

(2020)

—Comedy Fantasy Drama Directed by: Brandon Trost Based on: “Sell Out” by Simon Rich

An immigrant to America falls into a pickle vat in 1919 and is preserved until it is opened 100 years later. Now lost in the strange new world of the present he tracks down his last living descendant and the two try to find common ground.

There's actually a really interesting idea at work in this movie. But more often than not the whole thing was just played as a bit instead of really developing the metaphor.

I'm not really the target audience for this one though, so I'm open to the idea that parts of it were just going over my head.

39.

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

(2022)

—Animated Fantasy Adventure Directed by: Guillermo del Toro Based on: Le avventure di Pinocchio. Storia di un burattino by. Carlo Collodi

A woodcarver's drunken wish is granted when a godly being brings one of his creations to life.

Eagle-eyed readers might be thinking, "Hey! Didn't you previously say that you had beef with Netflix and would never give them money? Then how, pray tell, did you watch this Netflix original?"

Well, dear readers, it's because my local library had it due to it being released in a physical format from the Criterion collection. So there!

I'm going to be upfront and let you know that I am biased against this, because I have never liked the story of Pinocchio. In fact, that's why I never went to see it in theaters even though it was playing at the theater I worked at and thus could have watched it for free.

[In a particularly memorable day at the theater I made a man cry when I had to tell him he couldn't bring his dog to this movie. Then he went around telling everyone in the lobby that I broke his heart and ruined his day. So...yeah, that was a weird day.]

But I digress! [surprising no one]

I still don't love Pinocchio, but I will say that this is far and away my favorite adaptation. del Toro adds a lot of depth to the story by setting it in Mussolini-era Italy. Plus I love when people attempt stop-motion animation.

That being said, I have some issues on the animation in this though. I really love the animation of the non-human characters, but the human characters faces didn't match the level of emotions the voice actors were giving and the result was a discrepancy that had me convinced I was watching a dub.

I looked into it and it seems to be because the non-human characters were generally done by swapping the model's face plates between frames [a style of animation you might recall from films like The Nightmare Before Christmas and Coraline]. Meanwhile the human characters had models with faces that were built to be physically manipulated to change their expression [like in Fantastic Mr. Fox].

There's pros and cons to both methods, but I can't say I'm a fan of them both being used simultaneously. It was really breaking my immersion when different characters had completely different limits on their ability to emote. And there were so many times a voice was giving tons of emotion and the character's face was giving like 20% of it.

Okay, I'll stop ranting now...

Ewan McGregor was miscast in this and they had Tom Kenny in the movie and gave him like a line or two? What's the story there?!

Okay, okay, I'll be done for real now.

40.

Dick Johnson is Dead

(2020)

—Documentary Directed by: Kirsten Johnson

Having already lost her mother to Alzheimer's and with her father now beginning to succumb as well, filmmaker Kirsten Johnson seeks to create a record of who he is while also trying to document what it's like dealing with the inevitable death of a loved one.

"Netflix again!" you say to yourself. "Truly he is lying to us and doesn't want people to know that he actually has Netflix!" Wrong! Once again I got this from the library, because once again it had a physical release from the Criterion collection.

Suck it, Netflix!

Libraries for the win!

In more relevant news, Kirsten Johnson is ruling the top of the my movie rankings for the year. First there was Cameraperson and now this! She is out here doing fascinating things with the medium of documentaries.

I wish it was easier to say why you loved something than it was to say why you disliked something. Because this is such a hard movie to convey the tone of.

It's funny and heartbreaking, morbid and sweet, reverent and irreverent all at the same time.

Johnson is like a magician who tells you exactly what's up her sleeves. She'll show you what the trick is and how she's gonna do it. Then somehow she still manages to surprise you when she does it.

And it's not a true documentary in the sense that she's basically going in the exact opposite direction of cinema verite style. But she's also always documenting her process of breaking the rules.

In someone else's hands this could be a mess, but she's just such a master of the form that she knows exactly what rules she can't break, which ones she can bend the shit out of, and which ones she can ignore altogether.

41.

Dioses de México

[English title: “Gods of Mexico”]

(2022)

—Documentary Directed by: Helmut Dosantos

An unspeaking look at the resistance to modernization in Mexico as we witness the people still versed in the old ways.

This was one of my roommate's picks for our theme of: "Oh!...So That's a Thing".

The fact that there was no narration or really any dialogue made the whole thing rather fascinating. There were times I was dying for someone to tell me exactly what people were doing in a scene, but then again that's kind of the point, isn't it?

It's so easy to take modern machines for granted, that when you see someone making something the old fashioned way it almost makes the steps seem like a kind of magical alchemy.

42.

Oklahoma!

(1955)

—Musical Rom-Com Directed by: Fred Zinnemann

A woman gets mad that her pseudo boyfriend assumed she was going to the local dance with him instead of asking her and tries to make him jealous.

Although I watched a lot of musicals growing up, this was one that I was aware of, but never saw.

I know that this is true of many older musicals, but there's a lot of crazy shit going on in this. And yet there is practically no story or character development at all...and the movie is over 2 hours long?

How does almost nothing happen in nearly 2.5 hours?

And then against the grain of everything else in the movie, you've got this girl [woman? how old are they supposed to be?] having a whole subplot about how she just wants to sleep around?

Probably a good one to watch with a friend, because you can talk to each other and not have to worry about missing anything.

43.

Grey Gardens

(1975)

— Documentary Directed by: Ellen Hovde & Albert Maysles & David Maysles & Muffie Meyer

A look into the lives of a reclusive mother and daughter, who once belonged to high society, but now live by themselves in a dilapidated house of questionable safety.

Since documentaries have been dominating the top of my best of the year list, I've been making an effort to watch some of the famous documentaries that I've never bothered checking out before.

I never bothered with this one because it sounded a little bit cringe.

One of the inherent questions of journalism and documentary filmmaking is what is the ethical line for documenting something as it is instead of trying to change it? For instance is documenting someone dealing with mental illness encouraging their delusions? Or is it bringing to light the ways a detachment from society can have on a person's life?

I don't have the answers. But you can find some very interesting arguments as to whether or not this documentary crossed an ethical line.

But I do now understand why this has had such an impact on people. I don't even know what to say about it. It is one of things you have to see to truly understand.

44.

Dating the Enemy

(1996)

— Sex Shift Rom-Com Directed by: Megan Simpson Huberman

A former couple wakes to discover they have swapped bodies and are forced to try and navigate lives in the other person's shoes.

So on a whim a started making a list of movies I've been calling "Experiments in Gender." Because an esoteric subgenre of movies I love is movies that play around with ideas of gender. Things like Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, She's the Man, Titane, etc.

And so sex shift fantasy movies are likely candidates for the category. HOWEVER, a lot of them are Freaky Friday style movies that aren't about learning about life in a different gender, but specifically learning about life in someone else's shoes. Which interests me considerably less.

The trouble is that the specific nuance of how this is tackled is usually not apparent from just a trailer or a synopsis. So the only way to find out where they land is to watch them.

"Why are you telling me this?" some of you might be wondering. Well, if you plan to keep up to date on these movie lists o' mine this is relevant information, because there's more of them coming.

Anyways, it turned out that this is not an experiment in gender, it is just a Freak Friday body swap scenario.

And there was no point in a Freaky Friday scenario because their relationship failed, not because of mutual misunderstanding, but because the dude was TERRIBLE and treated her like shit.

Also I think it made me realize that I don't like Guy Pearce.

Post swap, Claudia Karvan is acting like Guy Pearce's character is in her body. But Guy Pearce is just acting like his generic idea of a woman is in his body. He's not even trying to act like her character at all! And this made me start to question everything I've ever seen him in.

I will give it bonus points because they do have sex with other people while in their swapped bodies. But minus the bonus points again for the film moving right past this and ignoring the fact they both technically just had gay sex.

Things like this are why you aren't on the list. You gotta deal with the nuance of the situation!

Further proof that it doesn't count is that he didn't even get a period while in that body. Because, as previously discussed, the movie is a coward.

45.*

Waiting for Guffman

(1996)

—Mocukmentary Directed by: Christopher Guest

Cameras follow a small town's attempts to create a play about the history of their founding.

Rewatching Best in Show last month gave me a nostalgic taste for mockumentaries, so here I am.

I think I've only seen it once before so my memory on it wasn't the best. But when I heard the stool song I specifically remember watching that with my best friend's family back in the day.

It's definitely not the best of Christopher Guest's movies, but it's also not the worst. Although I will say that I've noticed that a bad habit of Guest's is making native american jokes. And I know he's not specifically making jokes at their expense per se, but through them he is still perpetuating the racist stereotypes from old westerns and they haven't aged well at all.

On the brighter side Parker Posey is in it and every scene with her is a delight.

If you love mockumentaries I think it's definitely worth watching. But if you only watch one Christpher Guest movie this isn't his strongest outing.

46.

The Aggressives

(2005)

— Documentary Directed by: Daniel Peddle

A look at the subculture of masculine presenting people of color in New York City.

I combined my documentary kick with a @gayverlyearp recommendation, because I am a master of efficiency!

Anyway it was a quality recommendation and a really interesting movie. It's especially interesting when you see the ways that gender expression has changed over the years. I hear the director made a follow up movie somewhat recently and I'm really curious to see if I can find that somewhere.

47.

Pachyderme

[English title: “Pachyderm”]

(2022)

—Animated Drama Short Directed by: Stéphanie Clément

A woman looks back at her childhood through memories muddled by time and trauma.

I attempted to go down the rabbit hole of watching the Oscar nominations for Best Animated Short. I couldn't find them all, but I did find the majority.

And I started off strong, because this one was my favorite of the lot. It's just beautiful and heart breaking and sticks in the crannies of your brain after you're done watching it.

And can we talk about the way it uses a picturebook illustration art style? That was such a brilliant choice. The way they use it portray childhood memories that have faded with time and become these stories we tell ourselves? The subtle way they use the composition to give scenes nuance?

It's so friggin' good. Highly recommend giving it a watch.

48.

Ninety-Five Senses

(2022)

—Animated Drama Short Directed by: Jared Hess & Jerusha Hess

A man on death row reflects on his life through each of his senses.

Another best animated short nominee.

It didn't hit with the weight that Pachyderme did, but I like how they both use really creative ways of talking about memories.

Specifically looking at a life through the lens of memories you associate with a particular sense is such an interesting prompt. I have some issues with this one that I can't go into without entering spoiler territory, so I didn't l love it, but I do respect it.

[I do get chatty about the films on these lists, and one can't talk about a movie with "spoiling" something. But I do purposefully steer away from just telling you the entire plot.]

49.

WAR IS OVER! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko

(2023)

—Animated Short Directed by: Dave Mullins

Two soldiers discover that war is bad by playing a game of chess via carrier pigeon.

Don't even talk to me about how the Oscars handles the category of Animated Shorts unless you want to hear me rant at length. I'm still not over the fact that they give the tritest, most Hallmark Card-iest, cliche Inspirational Poster-iest entry the Oscar last year.

And they did it to me again!

Is this some sick joke on me? Is this personal, Academy? Did you hear me talking tons of shit about you and decide to get some revenge using a smaller category that the average viewer doesn't care as much about, but that I love?

Please keep in mind that I hold nothing against the animators who had to work on this project, because the animation is not on trial here. But this short SUCKS.

Some nepo baby pulled the sentiment "War is bad, okay? Don't do war" out of their ass...and they gave it an Oscar?

It is LITERALLY the worst entry in the category!

50.

Our Uniform

(2023)

—Animated Short Memoir Directed by: Yegane Moghaddam

The filmmaker reflects on the ways her uniform shaped her past.

Using the uniform as the animation medium to talk about uniforms is a truly brilliant move. It lacked the real emotional depth that Pachyderme and Ninety-Five Senses had, so I didn't think it would win. But I really liked it. And for a directorial debut? For a filmmaker that wrote, directed, and animated it herself? Fantastic work. Really curious to see what she makes next.

51.

Poor Things

(2023)

— Fantasy Drama Adventure Directed by: Yorgos Lanthimos

The result of a bizarre experiment goes on a grand adventure of self discovery.

I have a love-hate relationship with Lanthimos' films and I never know if I'm going to love them or just be utterly baffled by them. But with all the Oscar noms and wins I figured I had to check it out.

I actually don't have anything of note to say about this. As an asexual I felt thoroughly out of my depth here. The film has such a strong focus on sexuality that I can't really relate to most of it. I asked a couple ace friends what they thought of it and they had similar takes of enjoying elements of it, but feeling disconnected from it on the whole.

So yeah. I dunno! Go ask an allosexual if you want an in depth take on this.

52.*

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

(2004)

—Comedy Directed by: Adam McKay

A local anchorman in the 70s has his world flipped upside down when the station hires a woman to be his co-anchor.

I loved this movie back in the day. But it doesn't make me laugh nearly as much these days. There's still some parts I love, but it just doesn't hold the same magic for me that it once did.

53.

The Sex Trip

(2016)

— Sex Shift Comedy Directed by: Anthony G. Cohen

A womanizing pickup artist is cursed with a new body by witch until he can learn to respect women.

Ohhhhh, what to say about this one...

I kind of want to force someone to watch this with me, because it is just so wild and I want someone else to stare into the abyss and witness the madness that I have seen.

One nice thing about sex shift movies is that in most of them if you don't like the person playing the main character, you can wait a little while and they'll get a new actor in there.

And that's something you can't say about most movies.

There's this weird thing that can happen when bros accidentally wander into queer territory, because sometimes their extremely "no-homo" way of thinking can lead them into accidentally nuanced territory. And other times it will just be dumb and offensive.

But you know what? I'm counting it as an experiment in gender. Our protagonist gets a period, he realizes how annoying breasts can be at times, he experiments with his new set of genitals. He's got a best friend who is either secretly bi, or possible straight but specifically gay for his friend? I certainly don't think the writer/director was aiming for the best friend to be queer, but no straight man would be so eager to accept a threesome with his best friend. You can't convince me otherwise.

Would I recommend this to the average movie fan? Uh, no. It is not a great film. It is a weirdly interesting film, but I wouldn't say it's by any means a film of quality. In spite of it accidentally wandering into interesting territory, it's still very clear that some bros wrote this movie. There's plenty transphobia and misogyny and just plain cringe.

But I've learnt that while most people watch movies to enjoy them, I watch movies like a field researcher. I'm like a biologist in the field, looking under rocks and climbing trees to see what kind of weird stuff I can find. So if you're like me, well, this a fascinatingly fucked up little specimen for sure! You can see such odd little features such as: Tom Hanks' brother, Sylvester Stallone's brother, a man getting cursed for having the gall to not want to kiss a stranger he just met, a man try desperately to sleep with his best friend in a way that won't be gay, the worst blooper real I have ever seen, and more!

54.

Rubber

(2010)

— Meta Horror Directed by: Quentin Dupieux

An audience gathers in the desert to watch the live performance of a story about a tire coming to life and killing people with its psychokinetic powers.

While I love movies that are so bad they're fun, I hate movies that purposefully try to be bad movies. I assumed that that is what this was, and thus I never bothered with it.

However, it turns out that this is not really a movie trying to be a bad movie...it's...

I don't really know what this is actually. And I'm not entirely sure what it was trying to say....

But I do know that I didn't like it and don't plan to ever watch it again.

55.

Grizzly Man

(2005)

— Documentary Directed by: Werner Herzog

After Timothy Treadwell was killed by a bear while creating videos to help protect bears, Werner Herzog used his footage to create a documentary about Treadwell himself.

Another classic documentary that I had never bothered watching. I was slightly uncomfortable with the concept potentially being a little too close to a snuff film.

But I get it now. I get why it's acclaimed. This was not what I was expecting.

I was especially certainly not expecting Herzog to just periodically drag this dude? I was also not expecting that this dude clearly has issues.

56.

Victor/Victoria

(1982)

— Musical Rom-com Directed by: Blake Edwards

A female singer creates a hit act by pretending to be a male female impersonator, but along the way learns to love the lifestyle.

Oh ho ho, dear reader, this one came close to glory. If I liked the songs in this more, and if they didn't force a weird romance angle in there? This would truly be top tier.

That being said I still love it. Definitely an experiment in gender. It goes so much harder on the subject than I was ever expecting.

And the cast? The cast is exquisite!

Do I wish it was just sliiightly different? Yes.

Did I have a great time regardless? Yes!

57.

Tootsie

(1982)

— Monstrosity Directed by: Sydney Pollack

After burning every bridge he ever came across, a pretentious actor finds that he can no longer find work. Instead of bettering himself in order to repair his image and professional relationships, he decides to pretend to be a woman and steal some jobs from them.

Now do you see why I spent that time all those movies back explaining my quest to create an experiments in gender list? Has it not given you a peek into the process and important context for multiple films on this post?

Anyway, this is not an experiment in gender. This is just a fucked up movie.

I've heard about this movie a fair bit over the years, but all I've heard was that, A) it was really funny, and B) that Dustin Hoffman is amazing in it.

I was surprised to learn neither of those things is true. I was too busy being horrified to laugh at the terrible jokes. And Dustin Hoffman is either terrible in it, or doing an amazing job portraying a terrible, terrible person. You be the judge!

I hate this movie so much, y'all don't even know.

It's so fucking reductive, yet it acts like it's progressive. The whole movie is based on the premise that of course he's able to get the role, because he's a man while everyone else auditioning for the role were mere women.

Oh! And don't even get me started on the bizarre headgames and manipulations this dude pulls on the women in his life.

Ugh...I could rant about this movie forever. Truly terrible. I feel personally offended for having sat through it. And look at some of the weird shit I've watched so far this year! I watched a movie where a pack of people ravenously consume a rotisserie chicken with their hands while watching a tire kill people in the desert!

And the fact that I seem to be the minority in thinking it's terrible drives me even crazier.

We are 57 movies into the year and you better believe I threw this into dead last so fast.

And the very bottom of the list is the stuff that I wouldn't even watch with a friend. I would have to be bribed extensively to even consider seeing this again. You better be bringing plenty of booze and food or some cash and even then I'd have to really think hard about wanting to do that to myself again.

——————

——————

Previous Month's Posts:

Jan | Feb

[anonymous-dentist]

I’m actually super pumped to see k!Quackity’s city because Tenochtitlan is super fucking cool okay like okay like-

(This is a super basic overview of Tenochtitlan as explained by a history student. This post goes out to the Americans keeping up with the Karmaland streams who might not know too much about Tenochtitlan itself beyond the Spanish conquest and the siege. I’m gonna try and cite all my information, but I highly encourage people to go look for themselves!!)

(Image: Tenochtitlan and Lake Texcoco in 1519, courtesy Wikipedia.) 

That’s an artistic representation of Tenochtitlan from 1519, the year that the goddamn fucking spanish (derogatory) arrived (fuck those guys.) Post-conquest, the city was basically fucked over and redone according to Spanish standards, fucking rip

But before that? Mexico-Tenochtitlan was the head of the Aztec Empire (y’all have probably heard of these guys.) 

According to legend, the Aztec (or Mexica) people founded this city after following the guidance of their god, Huitzilopochtli. They left their homeland and traveled until Huitzilopochtli got them to a lake with an island in the middle, and on that island was an eagle sitting on a cactus eating a snake. That island was in the middle of Lake Texcoco, and the eagle and a snake can still be seen on Mexico’s national flag to this day. 

Tenochtitlan was built on an island, yeah? Here’s about what the layout would’ve maybe looked like:

(Map: also courtesy Wikipedia. Below the red line on the upper island would have been Tenochtitlan; above was its sister city, Tlatelolco. Click for higher quality.)

What’s so special about that, you may be asking? 

Well, I’m sure that the basic education a lot of you may have gotten on the Aztec people in high school would have included a bit on a floating city out in the middle of a lake. 

This is the floating city out in a middle of a lake. 

Using a really cool thing called chinampas, which were basically artificially-made floating islands used for farming purposes, the Aztecs took what land they already had on the islands and extended them. The chinampas were consolidated, creating the city we all know and love today. 

(Image:  A picture of Tenochtitlan and a model of the Templo Mayor at the National Museum of Anthropology of Mexico City, still courtesy Wikipedia.)

So basically...

Look it up, English community! This shit’s cool, and we don’t learn nearly enough about it in school! This was just the most basic of overviews because I unfortunately don’t have the resources available to me outside of my university library to really do the topic justice if I was to do a deeper dive. 

Just try and make sure you’re reading actual Mexican sources if at all possible. Don’t fuck with the Spanish. They’re the ones who ruined it in the first place. 

(Also don’t get Tenochtitlan confused with Teotihuacan, though Teotihuacan is also super worth looking up as well if you’re interested in this kind of history like I am!)