#eh w/e one of those

[19871997]

.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

minneapolis, so far…(and a little Chicago)!!!

from erica durham (chiffon)

[evilkitten3]

i generally consider myself above mocking other people's tastes in music, and i don't even really dislike their stuff all that much, but i do wonder if my roommate is aware that there are musicians outside of nickelback

[waywardsalt]

not to be That Kind of zelda fan but the hyrule historia does also explicitly refer to the world of the ocean king as ‘another world’

[lindwurmkai]

I got tired of having to scroll past too many sideblogs in order to get to my newest one, so I just straight-up deleted 3. There are a few more I could probably delete after making a backup and/or looking at them on a computer first, but that's so much work...

[gothamcityneedsme]

listening to arkham knight playlists b/c even though im not even PLAYING it yet (still working on arkham origins) i cannot get it out of my head

[sooniebby]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫

𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝟯: 𝘃𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲/𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗴𝗲

Bottom trans male reader. Reader’s lower part is called interchangeable: cunt, pussy, clit, folds, heat, hole. No mention of anything feminine. Reader has had top surgery.

“Is… the rope necessary?”

You were dressed in your Halloween costume, a very simple makeshift murder victim. A tired white shirt with fake blood splattered all over it. Jeans that you purposely tore and also splashed some blood on it.

The real “kill wound” in your costume was a fake slit throat that you had. It was starting to feel itchy on your neck after being at this party for over two hours now. The blood on your face had uncomfortably dried up a bit that you just wanted to wash it off.

The guy you were with, inside some random room. You didn’t really know who owned the house. You were just here for free drinks and candy.

He was dressed pretty bland compared to you.

Just a nice dress shirt and dress pants. You wondered why he’d wear something so nice to a college party like this.

His white shirt was unbuttoned now, letting you see his chest a bit better. Which was nice as you were currently being tied up. He wrapped the rope around your chest and shoulders, leaning it down to circle around your hands.

He was slow and methodical, making sure it was tight but not too tight. You were a bit too drunk to complain about him taking too long. Hey, if he needed bondage to get off, so be it!

“W..what are you anyway? Such a boring costume..”

He glanced up at you and smirked. You saw the faintest sight of fangs. Ah, vampire.

Eh, he could’ve done better.

You yawned, getting comfortable on the bed. Wow, this bed was so soft. All that alcohol was making you a bit sleepy. And this bed wasn’t helping you.

With a jolt, you glanced down at the man as you felt himself slap your thigh. He didn’t say anything, just finishing his touches on your bondage. You could still move your legs and if you tried hard enough—you could slip your hands free though it would hurt your wrists to do so.

“Are… you going to speak?” You whisper, watching him move down to your jeans. He glanced up at you and with a smile, turns his attention back to your pants.

You spread your legs open to give him space as he.. quite literally tears your jeans apart?!

You cry out in shock, sobering up a bit at the sound of tearing jeans.

“D..dude?! What the fuck..?”

He paid you no mind as he reached your boxers and also teared that open. Fuck, he was going to ruin your clothes to bits at this point. You squirmed a bit, wondering just what the fuck you were going to do after this with no pants or boxers.

You watched as he leaned close to your legs and began to kiss it. His kisses were wet as he trailed down to your wet heat that was beginning to ache to be kissed itself.

His fangs.. which.. felt real in a way, teased your skin. You grunted, wishing you could just reach down and tangle your hands in his curls but your hands were tied.

“Jeez… those fangs of yours feel.. real, man.”

He stopped for a moment and glanced up. His eyes just staring at you before looking down as he pressed a soft kiss on your inner thigh. You couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the softness.

Why weren’t most one night stands this nice?

You gasp as you felt his kisses on your pussy this time. He was soft—just pressing kisses on your folds while one of his hands teased your clit.

“E…mhm.. ever eat… cat before?” You drunkly joke.

He looked up at you unimpressed. You pout. Hmph, this guy just didn’t know what a good joke was.

His breath was really the only sound you ever heard from him. But you wanted him to talk. So badly but you didn’t know how to get him. You had come up to this room with him because of his teasing on your waist and you thought he’d start flirting with you.

But no, just started binding you.

“Name..?” You muttered, thinking maybe he’d be nice enough to tell you.

But he didn’t. He leaned in and began to lick your pussy, slow and methodically once more. You flinch, your legs accidentally closing on his head. He grunted in discomfort and moved his hands to grab your legs and force them apart.

You couldn’t help but feel a bit happy.

You got him to grunt!

That’s something..

He was sucking and licking your heat with a sense of ownership—eyes staring straight at you as he watched you try to move your hands against the bondage. Your lips were parting constantly as moans left your throat, filling the room.

You couldn’t really help yourself that you began to try and ride his face. He didn’t seem to mind as he allowed you to do so. You whimper and whine, his nose was a bit good to ride on.

Huh, maybe you should stick to sleeping with man with long noses.

The drunk thought leaves your mind when he pulls away. You whine and pout at him, wondering why he’d pull away. His lower face and nose was wet from your slick but he didn’t seem to care at the moment.

He reached down and pulled open his pants, his cock slipping out. You blinked in shock. Holy fuck, that cock was huge.

Maybe.. eight inches?! Jesus, what type of man needs eight inches???

You glance down and watch as he grips his cock and rests it against your cunt. He gently rubbed his cock between your folds, earning a sharp gasp from you.

You were biting your lip in excitement—even if the thought of such a large cock was scary.

But he didn’t slip inside of you.

His cock began to rub against your pussy, getting between your slick folds. He reached down with his free hand and placed it on your hips, gripping it tightly as a way to keep you still.

“W…c’mon… inside~” you whined.

He continued his thrusting against your folds, his cock constantly rubbing against your clit. His grunts began to fill the room, overpowering your moaning.

You felt as if you were being used.. but honestly it made you excited.

You just wished he said something to you.

Praise. Degradation. Something!

Much to your shock, his cock began to cum. He moved his cock between your folds and cummed right near your hole—teasing you with the thought of him pushing his cock inside and just filling you with cum.

He pulled away after a second and reached down, scooping up the cum that was dripping from your pussy and fingering it inside. You began to squirm and twitch, hips thrusting upwards as you cried out.

Finally… something inside!

But then he pulled away.. again!

“F…fuck you! I wanna cum, man!” You grunted, wishing you could just reach down and make yourself cum.

He simply smirked and patted your stomach before pulling away. You watched in shock as he buttoned up his shirt and pants and… left.

He fucking left.

You panicked a bit, wondering what the hell were you supposed to do now?! As you shuffled around the bed, trying to force your hand out of the bondage, the door opened again.

He was back.. with water and a bowl of grapes.

He sits down on the bed and makes you sit up but makes no effort to untie you. You part your lips and gladly accept the water, humming at the cool drink blessing your dried throat.

Huh, you didn’t notice that.

His lips pulled into a smile as you saw you begin to feel comfortable once more. Once the water was finished, he grabbed the bowl of grapes and began to feed them to you.

He was.. taking care of you? Oh, this was nice.

You hummed in delight, starting to feel sleepy again after being mildly taken care of.

“You.. do this with everyone you fuck?”

He didn’t answer. Stupid man. He placed the empty bowl on the night stand and made you lay back down again. Getting between your legs, he pulled down his cock.

You didn’t know if eating and then fucking so quick was smart but eh, you were still a bit too drunk to truly care about that.

He leaned over you, staring over you as a smirk pulled on his lips. Staring at his teeth you began to notice his fangs were a bit too real. It looked as if they came straight from his gums.

“You.. must’ve put most of your money into the fangs, huh?”

He raised an eyebrow, as if in a way telling you that you’re wrong. You gasped at the feeling of his cock pushing inside of your tight heat. His cock was stretching you but you couldn’t help but sigh in relief—happy to fully be fucked.

His thrusts were different from his other one. No longer slow and methodical. He was like a beast, his hips slamming into you as you squirmed and cried. Your cunt tightened around his cock with each thrust.

“S…so good! Fuck.”

You cummed in no time, arching your back as you screamed out. But he didn’t stop, his thrusts were even faster now—forcing you to squirm as your body was being forced to cum again so quickly.

You could’ve sworn you were squirting at this point.

But he hasn’t cummed.

And he wouldn’t cum for a few minutes as your body got tired from the constant and back to back squirting. Your body was limp by now, your pussy lightly clenching at this point. The only sound leaving you was soft little whimpers.

You couldn’t even speak properly now.

He leaned down, pressing kisses on your throat. You hoped he was close soon, your body couldn’t handle another orgasm. His teeth grazed your throat as he moved down right where your shoulder and neck connected.

And he bit.

You screamed out, spasming against his body that held you down to the bed. This wasn’t just a simple bite, his teeth—no fangs, pierced your skin.

“W…h…!”

Any sort of pain you felt was soon pleasurable. You began to softly moan, trying to move your hand but still not able to. He continued to drink.. just like a vampire before pulling away after a few seconds.

His lips were stained with your blood, turning them red in color. A few drops slipped down his chin and his eyes were blood red. He reached down and gently rubbed the spot his bit, giving a bit of comfort for it.

You felt something warm inside of you now… oh, he came. His cock slipped out of you as white cum slowly dripped out of your aching hole. Your breathing was light and soft…

You somehow felt content.

He grinned down at you. His black curly hair was no longer neatly laid like before. You tried to truly look at him now but all you could do was whine about the ropes still bonding you.

He pulled the bondage off and began to rub your wrists, pressing a kiss on the mark it left on your skin. His eyes trailed your body. The only thing you had left was your shirt.

“You…you’re….?”

He smirked.

“B…wh..?”

He hummed and walked over to the closet in the room. He pulled out a long coat from it and wrapped it around your body. Much to your surprise, he picked you up easily.

You whimper but glance up at him, wondering what he was thinking.

“Y…you..? Wh.. a… college..?”

He looked at you thoughtfully as if he was actually thinking why he, a vampire, came to a college Halloween party. But he simply shrugged. He looked close to your age, but perhaps now getting a better look, three to four years older.

Physically at least.. who knew how old he was mentally.

“Wh…ere..?” You mutter, starting to feel so tired. But you weren’t sure why.

“Home.”

Your eyes open in shock as you stared up at him. His voice was nice and velvet. So smooth and deep. You wanted him to keep talking. Please, keep talking.

“Sleep. You were good… so I decided…”

He leaned down a bit to your ears, gently nipping it as you hummed, snuggling a bit in his arms.

“To keep you forever.”

Realistically, that was such a fucking scary thing to say. An immortal being taking you forever.

But.. you were drunk and happily satisfied by sex you knew no one else could possibly give you.

How long was forever anyway…?

Eh, you only meet a sexy vampire once.

You get it? He edged you with his cock and his voice… a true edger… does that make sense? Lol, anyway, hope this was sexy enough cuz he doesn’t talk basically at all! Why he doesn’t talk..? Don’t ask, I just thought it’d be sexy

Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @nakedtoasterr @smellwell @tehyunnie @ofclyde @chill-guy-but-cooler @iwishtobeacrow @remdayz @mello-life69 @kiiyoooo @kaedezu @tomoeroi

[thegoldencontracts]

Prefect

Azul is your boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend, as in, person you're in intimate and romantic relations with. So why, just why is he still calling you Prefect?

Notes: credit to @/cephalo-punk for the idea... Im sorry for my sins, reader is the Prefect, GN reader as usual

You and Azul had a wonderful relationship, really. Wonderful, and romantic, and everything. It was safe to say you two were closing, dating, even. Yes, you two were dating. For months now.

And what did people usually call their partners whom they were dating? Their first name, maybe a petname. They usually dropped the titles.

But not Azul. No, Azul could never drop the title you held. Why? Who knew?

"Prefect!" Azul's voice pulled you out of your frying pan of rage only to plummet you into its fire. Ah, yes, that 'nickname'. That damned nickname. "Would you like to dine together this weekend? My treat, of course. I secured a reservation to that restaurant you kept ogling on our trips together. I know, I truly am a benevolent soul."

And yet, immediately your rage was quelled. Azul was asking to take you out on a date. And especially this week - Finals' must've left him completely swamped, no? But he did. And he even got a reservation to that one place that you somehow forgot the name of! Sure, you didn't remember the name, but you did remember that those reservations were super hard to get.

So, did the Prefect thing really matter that much?

"I'll gladly go on a date with you, Azul!" You said. Azul's lips jutted out ever so slightly.

"A 'date' is one way to call it, I suppose," he said. "Really, Prefect-"

Nevermind. In an instant, your mood was dampened by that stupid term of address. He loved you enough to go through all this trouble, and you really appreciated that, honest! You just wanted him to use your goddamn name!

Wait. You had an idea.

"Fine, fine, I'll stop teasing you," you said. "Housewarden Ashengrotto."

Azul looked at you in confusion.

"Housewarden Ashengrotto?"

"That's you, silly!" You said, like you didn't know the real reason behind his question.

Azul's face puckered up in displeasure, like he'd just eaten a sour lemon. He stayed silent for a while before speaking up again.

"Have I done something to offend you, Prefect?" He asked.

"Nope!" You said. "Why, Housewarden Ashengrotto?"

Azul's eye twitched.

"You've decided not to call me by my name all of a sudden," he said.

You smirked.

"Well, since you don't call me by mine, I thought we'd be on even footing!"

The realization hit Azul like a truck. His eyes widened, only to narrow as his cheeks flushed in an indignated pout.

"W-Well- that's different, er-" Azul sighed. "Does it truly upset you that greatly?"

You couldn't help but soften up a bit at that. He really didn't mean you any harm, even if you did still think it was uncharacteristically stupid of him.

"How does it feel when I call you Housewarden?" You asked. His face darkened.

"Point taken."

"Good," you said. "So, why don't you try calling me by my name?"

Azul's eyes widened.

"E-Eh?"

"You heard me. We should be on even footing, right, Housewarden Ashengrotto?"

Azul gulped. If he wanted you to call him by his name again, he'd have to do this, and obviously he was going to, since it was clearly important to you, but...

It was hard.

"O-Of course," he said. "E-Er, Pre- ah-"

And then he said your name. Without "-san" added as an honorific. Nothing of the sort, just your name.

You smiled.

"Yes, Azul?"

And just hearing his name again made Azul beam.

"Why don't we go to your place? It's getting rather late."

"I would love that."

[dmercer91]

hooked, jh86

in which jack is quite literally sleeping with the enemy.

most of the rangers give me egregious vibes so there are hardly any in here and i used their ig handles for twitter i didn't feel like finding the correct ones - set in 2023-24 season

jackhughes

liked by yourusername, nicohischier and 147,122 others

jackhughes: drives me mad

view 1,239 comments..

yourusername: in ny we hard launch like grownups

→ jackhughes: oh yeah?

→ yourusername: once you fuck this one up i’ll swoop in and prove it to u hughesy ;)

trevorzegras: admitting that you’re easily rizzed is crazy

→ jackhughes: easily 🤨

→ trevorzegras: ‘the hit could’ve been harder maybe she likes me 🤭’

→ user: did she hit him with her car or????

user: hit? as in like hockey hit? y/n??????

→ user: she just threatened to mr steal your girl him tho so idk

yourusername: jhugh big foot guy eh?

→ jackhughes: what the fuck y/n

_quinnhughes: luke?

→ lhughes_06: i can’t even explain without giving myself a migraine

dawson1417: i’m telling nico

→ jackhughes: there’s nothing to tell nico 🤨

→ nicohischier: nico uses context clues to deduce things

elblue6: ❤️

view more comments..

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, jackhughes and 129,483 others

yourusername: van @ nyr except i adopted the sad one

jack was there too, unfortunately

load 1,612 comments..

jackhughes: now what is this

→ yourusername: i’m already planning on adding z to my collection when the ducks are up here

→ trevorzegras: did u just say collection

→ jackhughes: so you wanna be friends with all my friends but i try and be friends w u and i’m gross? ouch

→ yourusername: have u ever considered that you’re my teams rival

→ jackhughes: i’ve considered it and also decided it won’t stop me

→ yourusername: have you considered that you’re icky

→ jackhughes: wtf

_quinnhughes: ankle biter

→ yourusername: it was his shoulder and i can bite him whenever i want

nyrangers: traitor :(

→ yourusername: no admin it’s ok it’s the good hughesy

→ lhughes_06: i’ve done nothing to you

→ yourusername: you get in my way a lot

shesterkinigor: funny

→ yourusername: i try

view more comments..

njdevils

liked by yourusername, dougieham and 17,444 others

njdevils: we guess this one’s not so bad 😉 @yourusername

view 592 comments..

user: this is.. unsettling

user: him patting her after every connection was top tier i need her in a devs jersey

yourusername: don’t let this fool you i still like quinn better

→ jackhughes: will you let me have this one

→ yourusername: you’re lucky i didn’t throw the game just so you’d lose

→ lhughes_06: there’s always next year

nyrangers: we can admit that this one (1) thing is cute

→ yourusername: enemies to lovers??????

→ nyrangers: no, y/n.

→ yourusername: ok attitude

jackhughes: thanks for the passes or whatever @yourusername

→ yourusername: shut up

user: they’re sleeping in the same hotel room??

→ yourusername: no j just commits some light b&e in his free time

→ jackhughes: did you just call me j

→ yourusername: i also called you a felon

→ trevorzegras: i think he’s just gonna look right past that

user: loving the full blown conversations happening in comment sections lately

view more comments..

yourusername

liked by elblue6, dougieham and 179,537 others

yourusername: ⛽️

view 2,029 comments..

jackhughes: i thought nyers hard launched 🤨

→ yourusername: do you have my notifs on??

→ jackhughes: no comment

user: those are jacks hands

→ user: why do you… know that, even?

user: this is why the nhl is all men lmao they aren’t focused on fucking their opponents

→ yourusername: oh babe.. i have some news for you

→ user: ITS A PLAYER?????????

dougieham: gross

→ yourusername: behave douglas

lhughes_06: what pro hockey player has another man tie her skates for her

→ yourusername: the kind that knows your address and will take your ligaments away

nyrangers: our girl

→ user: can i have your girl

→ njdevils: ^

→ nyrangers: no

_quinnhughes: you hurt my brain

→ yourusername: ok

user: THE TYING THE SKATES!!! JACKS SOFT LAUNCH

view more comments..

twitterhockeybropodcast

y/n y/ln has allegedly requested a trade out of new york 👀

722 ❤ 312 ↳ 147 💬

view comments..

dawson1417: you know @/yourusername i’ve heard jerseys pretty nice

→ dawson1417: you wouldn’t even have to move!

→ yourusername: oh boy

trevorzegras: y/n/n y/ln YOU are an anaheim duck

→ _quinnhughes: step back off my teammate

→ yourusername: you’re both delusional

user: awh the guys wanting her on their teams 🥹

colecaufield: i’ll teach you french @/yourusername

→ yourusername: i only want to know the bad words

→ colecaufield: that’s doable

→ yourusername: sold

user: quinn and the honorary hughes’ is cute but WHERE IS JACK??

→ user: right like he hasn’t even liked it

→ user: he took down his soft launch?

edwards.73: you will eventually get to play with me if you go to jersey @/yourusername

→ yourusername: it's really cute that you though this would help build your case ed

→ edwards.73: can't blame a guy for trying

jackhughes: does this mean we can be friends now?

→ yourusername: oh lol sure

→ user: oh this was painful to read

to, j 💥: is everything ok?? read, 6:33pm

to, j 💥: jack what the hell read, 7:12pm

to, j 💥: you can't really be moody cause i requested a trade from a team you don't even play for lmao

from, j 💥: i'm at practice. talk later

to, j 💥: i'm literally with daws and luke right now dude

to, j 💥: wtf did i do?? read, 7:44pm

to, j 💥: since when am i the one begging to make this work????

to, j 💥: you've been telling me for fucking months you didn't care what it meant as long as we could try us out

to, j 💥: you can't tell me how much you want me around one day and work so hard to make me believe you and then completely flip my world around the next that's not fair read, 8:19pm

to, j 💥: i at least deserve an explanation

from, jack: maybe i'm sick of people telling me i'm fucking up my whole life for you and that you're just gonna dump me before the playoffs so i lose focus

to, jack: hello?? lose focus against the team i'm requesting to leave?

to, jack: and who is people? all i've done is prove that i wouldn't fucking do that

to, jack: i'm literally with two of your teammates right now read, 8:25pm

to, jack: whatever, j. i asked for a trade for you lmao

from, jack: how is that for me? you're gonna be in a completely different fucking state and we'll never see each other

to, jack: that's what this is abt?? you could've just said something, j

from, jack: i don't think you can just unrequest the trade, y/n.

from, jack: what's done is done

to, jack: what would've happened if they just traded me regardless of if i asked?? would you have shut me out cause you don't like the distance when it wasn't my fault?

from, jack: that's different and u know it

to, jack: whatever jack

to, jack: see you wednesday

from jack: against the avs?? you got traded to fucking colorado?

to, jack: no. i got traded to the devils.

njdevils

ranger devil 😈 @/yourusername

2922 ❤ 456 ↳ 78 💬

view comments..

yourusername: i've always looked good in red

→ njdevils: our girl

dawson1417: FUCK YEAHHHH

→ yourusername: LEFT LOCKER NEIGHBOUR!!

→ dawson1417: RIGHT LOCKER NEIGHBOUR !!!!!!

lhughes_06: i'm gonna get bullied so much more often

→ yourusername: amen to that moosey

→ lhughes_06: no, not amen to that y/n/n

user: again i ask WHERE IS JACK

nicohischier: another one that won't listen to me

→ yourusername: not reporting for duty, cap 🫡

→ nicohischier: i'm not endeared

→ yourusername: fuck yeah you are

trevorzegras: i know i'm not meant to take personal offence to this but i am

→ yourusername: quinn is GROUCHY

→ _quinnhughes: why does jack get all the cool people i want to have a lake house adoptee on the canucks

→ yoursername: just bring petey

→ eliaspettersson_: do not volunteer me for that chaos

user: i'm kinda concerned at the lack of jack and y/n lately like what happened

jackhughes: new liney?

→ yourusername: new liney :)

→ lhughes_06: 🤨

→ user: luke don't expose your brother's weird cryptic comments as being weird and cryptic challenge

→ lhughes_06: hmm no

njdevils

liked by nicohischier, jackhughes and 34,899 others

njdevils: we think we've seen this film before and we loved the ending (bratter - jack - y/n/n line supremacy)

view 583 comments..

jackhughes: start building the statue

→ yourusername: fucking right

user: the way that she just screamed in his face on her first assist to his goal i could SOB

→ user: and his fucking SMILE BACK AT HER

→ user: and her third goal!! the jump into his arms

user: in love w them actually

→ njdevils: us too

lhughes_06: they should've smooched on centre ice with the hats falling down

→ lhughes_06: what lol who said that

dawson1417: RIGHT LOCKER NEIGHBOUR DID THAT

→ yourusername: i couldn't have done wonderwall with out your harmonizing merc

→ dawson1417: i do have the voice of an angel

trevorzegras: i love how it feels to be a hater

→ _quinnhughes: ^

→ yourusername: wonderwall concert, 5pts, and i got quinn hughes to agree with trevor zegras. i am her.

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, nicohischier and 289,111 others

yourusername: j <3

view 677 comments..

jackhughes: favourite liney?

→ yourusername: forever liney

lhughes_06: open your messages you demonic being

→ yourusername: do u know how much EFFORT that is

→ lhughes_06: i could imagine it's not a lot??

dawson1417: yucky

→ yourusername: we facetime like teenaged girls n you and ryleigh screeched in excitement when you recognized his room this morning

→ dawson1417: ok???? i screeched cause of the yuckiness

_quinnhughes: i guess you not being a canuck is tolerable if this is the outcome

→ trevorzegras: speak for yourself quintin i want her to be my liney forever 😾

→ yourusername: sorry z <3

→ jackhughes: she's not sorry

→ yourusername: i'm sort of sorry

→ trevorzegras: good enough!

user: SCREAMING AND CRYING OMG

→ user: WE'VE BEEN WAITING

user: mom n dad

dougieham: this is terrefying

→ yourusername: ok

john.marino97: new reality tv show live in the locker room except theres no drama it's just hughesy being whipped

→ yourusername: your favourite!

→ john.marino97: i hate every second

njdevils: it's not like we saw this coming or anything

→ yourusername: ADMIN

view more comments..

[peanutpinet]

In The Midst of A Mist (Muichiro x Fem Reader)

Summary: takes place in the swordsman village where you were appointed to be the next swordsmith to handle the mist hashira's sword. But when the fifth upper-rank demon, Gyokko attacked the village, Muichiro not only saved you from the demon but also gained a crucial memory of you

"Eh? W-what did you just say, Hotaru-san?" you questioned as you didn't believe what you just heard

"How many times do I have to tell you, (y/n), you're being appointed as the mist hashira's new swordsmith

You couldn't believe your ears. After all these years of training under the top swordsmen in the swordsmith village, you were appointed as one of the few lucky and skilful swordsmith to be a hashira's swordsmith.

In addition to it, you were going to be the mist hashira's swordsmith; someone who you've grown to admire from afar.

Immediately, you didn't need to be told twice to prepare everything according to Muichiro's first swordsmith, Mr. Tetsuido and begin making the mist hashira, a new sword. One that is sharper but still feels the same as his first sword.

A few weeks has passed and you were informed that Muichiro was on his way to the swordsmith village along with another demon slayer that has a demon sister.

"What was that demon slayer's name again? Ah right, it's Kamado Tanjiro" you thought to yourself as you did the final touches on Muichiro's sword.

Once you were done with the sword, you admired your work and couldn't wait to give it to Muichiro when suddenly you heard a commotion outside of the little hut that Mr. Tetsuido used to use.

To your shock, it wasn't just some commotion as the people nearby told you to make a run for it as an upper-rank demon has appeared in the village.

Without thinking, you took the sword you prepared along with other swords that you made to try and protect yourself as best as you could until you met Muichiro.

You quickly rushed out and right as you did, the little hut that was passed onto you was immediately destroyed by a fish demon that was walking around with blood all over its face.

Though you were sad, you had no time to mourn and rushed to find Muichiro. However, on the way, you encountered another one of those fish demons. This time, you saw young Kotetsu trying to defend himself from the fish demon that was chasing him.

Though you wanted to find the mist hashira as fast as possible, you knew that you also had to help young Kotetsu. Immediately, you rushed to try and slash the demon's arm which you did.

However, right as you were about to help Kotetsu make a run for it, the fish demon grabbed and squeezed you quite tightly that you dropped the sword you held to protect yourself but you didn't let go of the sword you made for Muichiro.

Just as you felt that the demon was about to kill you, you heard slashes and the next moment, you were in someone's arms when you heard a soothing voice asking you if you were alright.

"Are you alright? Can you move?" you knew that voice even if you lost all of your memories. When you looked up, your (e/c) met up with those teal eyes that you could recognise from a young age because those eyes belonged to the one and only Muichiro Tokito, the mist hashira; also your childhood friend.

"Mui-muichiro..." you let out which unknowingly to you, made Muichiro confused. Why was your voice soothing despite your current distress state? Were you someone that he should remember? Muichiro had all these questions but right now, his main focus was to slay the upper-rank demon.

Once Muichiro let you back on your feet, he took a fighting stance in front of you. "Take Kotetsu and leave. It is not safe to be here"

Before you could complain, Kotetsu argued for the both of you. "We are the safest when we're with you Tokito-san"

Though Muichiro wanted to argue, he quickly noticed the upper-rank demon and blocked their attack. The fifth upper-rank demon, also known as Gyokko introduced themselves before quickly attacked Muichiro.

You, on the other hand, didn't want to get in Muichiro's way so you quickly grabbed Kotetsu and hid behind some of the bushes.

This was your first time ever witnessing a hashira fighting a demon; especially an upper-rank demon. As you were mesmerised at how Muichiro was able to glide across the forest, you failed to notice that one of the upper-rank demon's vases appeared before you and Kotetsu.

Another fish demon emerged from the vase and went to attack you and Kotetsu. Instinctively, you went to shield Kotetsu from the attack but when you didn't feel anything, you turned around and were shocked to see Muichiro protecting the both of you and deflected the majority of the needles with some piercing through his milky skin.

"Mui..." you called out to him but Gyokko immediately took out another vase and was about to attack you but again, Muichiro was faster than you could blink and was now trapped in a water prison which his sword couldn't pierce through

Gyokko then laughed at Muichiro's vulnerable state and mocked him for being weak despite having the hashira title. But despite that big mouth, Gyokko seemed to underestimate Muichiro and decided to leave him to die in his water prison; thinking that the poison from his previous attack would also speed the process of killing Muichiro.

After you and Kotetsu made sure that Gyokko was nowhere to be seen, both of you tried to find a way to free Muichiro from the water prison. But the two of you failed to realise that Gyokko actually left one of his demon fishes to watch and make sure that Muichiro was dead.

That wasn't the only thing you both failed to notice. Because the two of you were focused on trying to free Muichiro, neither of you saw his distressed expression, trying to warn the two of you of the potential attack that was coming.

Lucky enough, you did manage to notice the demon and dragged Kotetsu away but resulted in you getting hurt from the attack. You were lucky though because it attacked the side of your stomach; not a vital part of your body but it did pain you.

You then looked at Muichiro who seemed worried of your condition. Your eyes must be deceiving you because from what you remember, ever since Muichiro lost his memories, he seemed stoic and cold who shows little to no feelings.

Shaking your head, you put your mask aside and breathe into the water prison, hoping that your breath was enough for Muichiro to do one breathing style.

Realising what you just did, Muichiro somehow regained bits of his memories and his rage to fight against demons. With what little air you gave him, Muichiro used one of his breathing styles and broke free of the water prison and instantly killed the fish demon before rushing to both you and Kotetsu.

Seeing your bleeding side, Muichiro ripped part of his hashira clothing and wrapped your waist, making sure to secure it tightly to help stop the bleeding.

"M-mui....y-your sword" you tried to reach for the sword that you made for him but Muichiro took it before you as he held you close to his chest

"Stop talking. You need to rest, (y/n)" the mention of your name from Muichiro's lips made you startle and were about to comment on it when Muichiro beat you to it

"T-thank you for the sword. It feels very natural like the first sword I had from Mr. Tetsuido" Muichiro thanked you but that wasn't all that he thank you for. "Thank you for waiting for me. I promise I'll make it up to you" Muichiro caressed the side of your face that was no longer hidden by the mask you were wearing

"Mui...you, you remember..." you stated, wanting to take off your mask so that you can see Muichiro with your own two eyes and not through a mask

But once again, Muichiro beat you to it and gently lifted your ask, wanting to see if you were alright with it which you nodded and with your consent, Muichiro took off your mask and his teal eyes instantly sparkled as he took in your grown-up face since he last saw you when you both were younger alongside his twin, Yuichiro.

The two of you looked at each other's grown-up faces as it had been almost 3 years since the two of you had seen one another. "You know, there is still an upper-rank demon on the loose" you both heard Kotetsu mention and Muichiro immediately looked at the young boy with a glare, clearly unamused that his moment with you was interrupted but he knew that as a hashira, he had to slay the demon first before getting back to you

"I trust that you will be able to take care of (y/n) in the meantime as I behead that smelly demon" Muichiro mentioned, his teal eyes bore into Kotetsu's mask, making the poor boy scared

"Y-yes! Of course! (y/n)-san is my superior. I'll make sure that we'll be hidden until everything is alright" Kotetsu mentioned and rushed to your side, helping you sit up straight while Muichiro watched with a strict face which didn't go unnoticed by you

"Mui...don't be hard on Kotetsu. I'll be fine. Go, slay the demon. But be careful, your body is suffering from injuries and poison" you mentioned, giving Muichiro a soft smile which didn't go unnoticed by Muichiro

"Thank you. I'll be back soon" Muichiro smiled which shocked you but made you smile even wider

(Time Skip after the Gyokko Battle)

"AHHHHH, TOKITO-SAN, YOU'RE CHOKING ON YOUR FOAM. WHAT DO I DO?!" Kanamori exclaimed right as you and Kotetsu arrived

"It would be best to let him lay on his back" Kotetsu mentioned

"Right, I should do that" Kanamori mentioned. "W-wait a minute. AHHHHH YOU'RE KOTETSU and (Y/N)'S GHOSTS. AM I DEAD?!"

"Hello Kanamori-sama. We're alive. Please don't worry about us" you mentioned as Kotetsu helped you sit on the ground, right next to Muichiro

"Mui...you did it. You defeated an upper-rank demon" you mentioned, softly putting Muichiro's head on your lap as you stroked his hair then felt his soft hand held mine

"(y/n)...th-thank you for the sword. Sorry it's chipped" Muichiro apologised

"Don't worry about it Mui, I can fix it again for you" you mentioned, smiling once more and this time, Muichiro's hand made its way to your cheeks

"I have a favour, (y/n)" Muichiro stated, making you look at him. "Will you come back with me to the Demon Slayer Headquarters and stay with me as my swordsmith?"

To say you were shocked was an understatement. But otherwise, you held Muichiro's hand that was on my cheek. "Of course, Muichiro. I'd be happy to stay close with you to help sharpen and refresh your sword every now and then" you smiled at Muichiro who had a soft pink hue on his face

"Not just my sword. But I hope that you'll help with my memories since I hope that you'll stay in my estate with me" Muichiro mentioned. "And this time, I promise I won't forget about you. I also promise that I'll protect you" Muichiro softly pulled your head and let you rest your head on his

"I'd like that Muichiro"

A/N: my first KNY fanfic and dedicating it to my luv, precious bb, Muichiro Tokito :') I hope that those who read it enjoyed my lil KNY fic and I am so not ready for the infinity castle arc :')

[unproduciblesmackdown]

with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"

like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two

like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]

and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.

there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"

like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen

[dilvuc]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝

"Weston College?! You? At such a young age???” Ciel raised his eyebrows. Nova nodded, “Because school for my age was too easy that Papa let me attend Weston College.”

“No wonder you've beaten me in chess…” the earl mumbled, rubbing his chin. Sebastian snorted, “Lost to a child, master?”

“Silence!”

A pre teen was defeated by a four year old in chess. How could this fucking be? How come such a four year old had such great intelligence? Tell that to Nova's favorite homeschool teacher.

“I was taught by my teacher who's an expert at chess.” Nova admitted. Ciel hummed, “You're smarter than you look. A prodigy child who can outsmart any adult. No adults think a four year old is smarter, but they underestimate them.”

“Master, hope you're not thinking of using him for your own advantage.” Sebastian sweatdropped.

“Nonsense, Sebastian.” Ciel smirked. Oh, he's planning something. Nova grinned, “I used to trick Papa all the time. He never even noticed that I've been stealing sweets that he hides from me.”

“Oh? What else?”

“I tricked a toy maker into making free toys for me. Then I did the similar method at school. They give me whatever I want.” The child beamed with stars floating around him. “I fooled them by acting innocent and cute~”

“...” Sebastian stared at the child before realizing that Nova and [Y] are alike. “Like a mini [Y]. He truly enjoys fooling the ladies just to get what he wants.”

“Heh. Perhaps~” Ciel smugly smirks.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

❝meanwhile w/ [y]❞

“I thought you were the only one here! Why's all of you here?!” [Y] sweatdropped as he's being surrounded by 10 women. Those ten women are his older sisters. How the fuck did a woman give birth to that many??

“Tell us about your husband! Is he cute?” One of the sisters asked.

“What's his name?”

“How old is he?”

“When did you two get married??”

“Hope you didn't do anything to hurt the poor man!”

“Why are you all ganging up on me?!” [Y] exclaimed, trying to move out of the way of his sisters. “His name is Sebastian. He was my previous head-butler, but he retired and became the head-butler of the Phantomhive Manor.”

“So…I've decided to propose to him to be my wife before we are separated. Good thing is we get to see each other again after two years apart.” [Y] blushed, scratching the back of his head.

One of his sisters grabbed her brother's cheeks and pulled on them, “You proposed to him without a wedding?! Are you a dumbass?!”

“H-hey!”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“So, you have ten sisters?” Sebastian blinked owlishly.

❝Yeah…They like to nag me and stuff. They were desperate about you, too…❞ [Y] sweatdropped.

❝[Y]! Is that Sebastian that you were talking about? Let us talk to him!❞ Sebastian heard of the sisters grabbed the phone from the male. ❝You must be Sebastian! His wife!❞

“E-eh? Wife? I'm actually his husband—You know what, yes, I am his wife.” Sebastian said proudly with stars sparkling around him. “It's lovely meeting you all. My dear husband hasn't told me that he has 10 sisters.”

❝Idiot! Why haven't you told him about us?!❞ one of the sisters bonked [Y] in the head. [Y] grunted in pain, ❝Ow! You don't need to hit me!❞

Sebastian chuckled, “You all seem to get along well.”

While Sebastian was on the phone, Ciel was listening in on the conversation. He did hear Sebastian mention something about being someone's wife. Who?

❝You’re an omega, right? If so, when will I have my niece or nephew?❞

“A-ah? Children?” Sebastian blushed. “We wouldn't go that far to have children. We already have our adopted child.”

❝Adopted? That's more than enough! I wanna see my child~❞

The earl could see the embarrassed and bashful look on the butler's face. Why is a demon butler so embarrassed and bashful?

“But…if we were to do it again, then perhaps we can bear a child of our own…” Sebastian blushed, clasping his fist over his mouth. Ciel gasped softly.

❝E-eh?! Sebastian??? You never been a type to want a child!❞ [Y] exclaimed.

“Nova needs someone to hang around with, correct? I wouldn't want Nova to feel lonely.” Sebastian mumbled. The earl gawked at what he's hearing.

❝Ah…You're so cute. Alright. Whenever you're ready, we can continue without protection.❞ [Y] smiled.

“Hahaha~ You're always so charming~” The butler chuckled heartily. Ciel jaw dropped, like, what the fuck is he hearing??? Sebastian, an omega? A wife? Wanted children? With who? Who???

❝I’ll return in three days. Love you…❞

Sebastian was a little taken back by this before timidly responding back, “L…love you, too…Bye.”

After he hung up, Sebastian covered his red face, extremely happy that he was able to say “Love You”. To be honest, this is the first time he has ever said it which made him embarrassed.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Back with Ciel, the earl returns to the library with so many questions that need to be answered. Nova noticed Ciel's curious expression, “Ciel-nii?”

“Nova. Did you do that on purpose?” Ciel asked.

“Huh? What?” The child tilted his head.

Ciel kneels down at Nova's level, “About Sebastian and [Y]. They're…married…?”

“Ah. Ciel-nii found out…” Nova mumbled. He knew the day would come eventually. Ciel flinched, “You knew?! Is that why you're so desperate for them to be together because they're already married?!”

“You weren't so smart either…” the child admitted. “But…just pretend that you didn't know. You'll see how genuine their relationship is. Just don't get caught, k?”

“...You're right. Maybe I'll pretend that I didn't know until I find out more about their relationship.” Ciel mumbled, rubbing his chin. “It must be an act…! It must've been. I'll see if it's true they're being a genuine couple…”

“Tell me. Did you know that—”

“I know Mama is a demon. It was obvious…” Nova answered. Ciel sweatdropped, “Is this kid smarter than me???”

“Ah. Apologies for the wait, Master and Lil’ Nova.” Sebastian apologized as he entered the library with tea and juice then set them on the table. “Did I make you wait…?”

“No…We were just talking…” Ciel said. Sebastian nodded, “I see. Hopefully you're not making fun of me.”

“Not anymore, mama Sebastian.” Ciel teased, taking a sip of his tea. Sebastian gritted his teeth with annoyance.

“Thank you, mama.” Sebastian's angry aura disappeared when he heard Nova’s appreciation. Flowery aura surrounded the butler as he turned around and faced the child, “You're most welcome, lil’ Nova.”

“He's definitely a mama…”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“My, aren't you adorable? How about a sucker?” Lau smiled as he tried to get the child's attention with a sucker. Nova hides behind Sebastian's leg, staring at the male, “Child predator…”

“Eh?” Lau sweatdropped.

“Shall I report you to the police?” Sebastian questioned with a dangerous smile. Lau sweatdropped, “W-wait…”

Madam Red bonked Lau on the head, “Stop scaring the child!” The lady in red then asked her nephew, “Where could Sire [Y] be? Is he not here?”

“He's on a three day business trip. He'll be back to get Nova.” Ciel answered, glancing over at Nova who's being spoiled by Sebastian. “Sebastian is playing as his mama. Spoiling the child.”

Nova beamed, “Mama, I want a telescope! I want to study the stars tonight! I've heard that there's a meteor shower coming tonight!”

“I'll be sure to get you a telescope. Anything else? A teddy? Books?” Sebastian beamed.

“Book about stellar astronomy!” The child replied.

“Oh? We have an astronomer, I see?” The butler chuckled. Nova nodded proudly.

“Ah…He's spoiling him like a mother…”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

❝w/ [y]❞

“So a bomber was planning to blow up the train, huh? Glad that was handled.” [Y] sighed with relief since he doesn't have to stay with his nagging ten sisters. Little did he know, the culprit is still active.

The taller male sat on the train and waited until he could reach the next destination. Sending three days away from his wife and child is a pain. The [h] haired male couldn't call them on a phone, so he decided to write a letter.

╭      ⁞ ❏. facts

┊      ⁞ ❏. the culprit is planning to blow up the train

╰┈➤ table of contents

➤ previous

[r0semaryt3a]

Some pre/during Yorknew Phantom Troupe Identity hcs + Illumi and Kurapika

I do not care if you disagree with these- my word is not law and honestly I want to hear some other headcannons so feel free to drop them down

Chrollo Lucilfer -

Ah Chrollo, my wife <3

He/him (surprising the masses after my wife joke)

Bisexual (no pref)

Monogamy - don’t even suggest otherwise it will be shot down.

“My identity? I’m a bisexual man…hmm? He/him.”

Feitan Portor

He/it

Has not and will not ever think about it (if he likes you he’ll date you he won’t label it)

It would be like pulling teeth trying to get him to answer on his identity. Like, it’s just not important to him. Why do you want to know so bad? Just call it whatever, it’s not gonna humour you with a conversation anyways.

“He.” ‘is there anything else?’ “It.” ‘And your sexuality?’ “…like you, date you. Simple.”

Phinks Magcub

He/him

Straight

Messed around once - quickly learnt he was indeed straight

These people really don’t see the prevalence in their identities so they’re all pretty blunt on answering.

“Eh? Why’d you wanna know? So what? I’m a guy. What? I like girls sure.”

Machi Komacine -

my absolute favourite

She/her

Messed around w gender for a bit; doesn’t care but will let you know “she’s a girl”

Bisexual - fem pref

Was the opposite of Phinks - thought she was lesbian then messed around and realised she was indeed bi

“Call me whatever…I’m a girl though.”

“I mean I like everyone, I think? Girls are probably better. No they are”

Woman has to double check with herself whenever asked, it’s like answering a quiz

Franklin Bordeau

He/him

Homosexual

Like one of the only ones who’d give you a straight answer if you ever asked

“I’m a man and yes, I like men.” Type of answer

Uvogin

He/him

Bi - male pref (the phantom troupe is just a bisexual chat room atp)

I Cannot decide whether I like Nobunaga or Shalnark w this guy

You’ll find out from fucking around with him. In no world is he answering you.

Pakunoda

She/her

THIS WOMAN IS LESBIAN NO DEBATE

L e s b i a n

Can imagine her being the only one of the group to just have her identity down from day dot

Definitely had a fling with Machi at some point that didn’t work out (they ended on good terms obviously. I can and will go into lengthy detail as to why I believe they had something going in the past and weren’t still together during Yorknew)

This woman is the died in the arc she first appeared in rep I needed!

“She/her honey. I like girls, that’s all that’s to it.”

Shalnark

Does not care

Pan

Literally just a colouring book, do what you want he won’t correct you (there’s nothing to correct to)

“Oh? Hmm, well I’ve never really thought about it much. It makes sense for me to be pan though, I guess!”

Nobunaga Hazama

He/they

Homosexual

He’s like that grandad that tells you about his time out in clubs and you’re sat going: “YOU? YOU did those things?”

“I’m a homosexual.”

Hisoka Morow

Call this amalgamation of a human whatever you want. As long as you can fight, you can talk to him/j

Type of guy to make a “Yours” joke

I really don’t see Hisoka caring for what people see him as. Like you wanna call him a he? Go for it. She? Sure why not! They? It? All on the table!

Another bisexual - his preference is fight me

Would 100% be down for poly, but depending on his attachment would also demand monogamy

“Why don’t we set a date and you can find out hmm~?”

Shizuku Murasaki

She/it

Straight or Aro, one or the other she’s either heavily into romance or completely repulsed and I can’t decide which I think it is.

Will blink at you for two minutes before sighing a response

“Well I don’t mind she or it I suppose.”

Kortopi

It/its

Aroace

I don’t really have that many thoughts on Kortopi so this is like all I’m giving

bonolenov

He/him

No one really has a clue on his sexuality and he doesn’t tell any of them, ever. Like he knows what he is, but he just never says it

Illumi Zoldyck

He/Him?

He’s never really thought about it much, after-all aside from family it’s not like most people will live long enough for his identity to matter

Sexuality? Who knows! He sure doesn’t. Does he even like people? Who’s to say!

“What does it matter? I’m a man by all accounts, so refer to me as such.”

Kurapika Kurta

He/they

Bisexual

I don’t even really know why he’s on this list tbf.

Will give you his whole coming out story if you ask about his identity. You’ll be there a while.

This was actually really fun to sit and do-

[officer-sebastian]

*Sebastian huffed and squeezed his way through an unexpected number of scientists and other employees through Sector E’s halls. Giving quick “excuse me’s” and “pardon me’s” as he kept rubbing shoulders with lab coats. Sebastian figured that this stretch of the Science Team must be clocking out for a late lunch, he’s never seen any sector’s halls so packed before, unless you count the highest level of top-side customer service and protection from the general and oddball public.*

Christ al’mighty Ah’m jus’ tryn’a git ta mah shift, y’know, th’shift that keeps y’all from actin’ like dogs without horses.. Clearly it ain’t helpin’ much, Jesus.

*After a few more left turns, the checkpoint position he had been assigned comes into view, another guard tapping his fingers on the desk and perking up at the sight of Sebastian.*

“Christ, Seb, what took you so fuckin’ long, eh? Was ‘bout to just clock out and leave this place hanging.”

*Sebastian just chuckled* Yeah, yeah, mighty sorry ‘bout that. Fer some damn reason th’halls were packed full of them lab rats an’ Ah could hardly git past. Go take’a piss an’ then cool off on yer lunch, Pauly, Ah got it from ‘ere.

*The guard scoffed and crossed his arms* “Whatever. Thankfully those old cronies only now just took lunch, what ever reason you’re filed under checkpoint over here, you’ll be glad to know it’s practically empty now. Have fun staring at the wall.”

Yer too kind. Ah take it ya prob’ly scared ‘em off an’-

*There was the faintest rumble between under their feet. Several lights from down the hall suddenly flicker and blow out, the emergency lights immediately turn on, painting the metallic walls an eerie red. Sebastian goes quiet at that, steadily eyeing the darkened hallway and listening close for anything suspicious.*

*Officer Pauly swallows audibly, eyes still on Sebastian* “The hell was tha-“

*BUZWARN* Warning. Power Outages Detected In [SECTOR E]. All Affected Personnel Please Be Advised.

*BUZWARN* Warning. Unauthorized Biological Forms Detected In [SECTOR E]. All Non-Disaster Response Personnel Evacuate Immediately.

*GARBLED BUZWARN* Warning. W-Warning. Security i̴̜̒̚͠n̵̢̫̞͍̍̆ ̵̢̦͈̜̏̂̑̉[̶̨̰̹̟́͛̑̓S̶̢̰̤͛̀ͅĖ̵̟̲̌Ć̴̥͍̣̞́̐T̴̯̿O̴̻̮͚̅Ṛ̵̠̟͍͒͆́̄ ̵͔̓Ḙ̷́̏͘]̷̧̪͗̎͗͋ ̵̠̝͌͜͝R̵̖̼̰̬̅̍e̴̱̔͒̌p̷̡̙̥̜̊͆õ̸̻r̴̗̤̀̽̏̇t̶̨̧̺̫͠ ̵̞̻̲͑̑́̐T̷̯̰̘̦̍̒̌ơ̴̼͔̿ ̵̘̣́[̶̖̰̓̇̓Ḁ̸͓̞̿̂̔̌D̷̞̫̣̻͗͗V̴͓̿A̸̢̻̤̘͂N̶̳̙̫̊͂C̷̜͎̆E̴̙̘͛̉̈̕D̷͙͕̜̹́͝ ̴̠͖̗͛͝ͅB̷̲̞͊̊͗Ḯ̸̘Ợ̵̩̒̏̇L̸͉̖̒̄̆̉O̵͇̅̀͘͝G̶͓͇̊̓̽Ḭ̴̦̥͕̌̌̊Ç̷̓A̴̮͉̩̋̀̀ͅL̶͎̈̆̇̚ ̸̗͕͌R̴̨̰̋̾͝È̷̺͕̏̓ͅS̴͕͆̚E̴͚̩̫̍̀̆͜͝A̷̼͋̃̍R̸̤̳͑̚C̴̩͕̼̬͠H̶̥̤̓ ̴͖̦̱̈̓͂̈͜C̶͙̿̒O̶̼̖̳̼͆M̷̠̖̬̦̽̾P̵̠͕̰̈͂̇L̸̝̀E̴̺̮̱̊̈̑͠X̵̛̗̹̂]̷͍́̃͑́ ̷̬͈̬͖̋͆Ị̸̛̩̲̦͒̅m̷̦̠͋̇̃͠m̵̖͕̙͉̿̚ë̸̬́̋͌d̴͈̹̝̀i̵̤̔̈́à̴̟͇̍̓͌t̸̲͍̦͒̽̄e̵̠̽̈́̇̈́l̶̰̍͜y̷̡̧̘̒̏̈́̈

*The two security guards listened in shocked silence as the automated comms buzzed in and out, the emergency lights flicking at the same time. Sebastian persed his lips in a straight line, taking a deep breath and suddenly pushing Pauly into the checkpoint box*

“THE HELL ARE YOU-?!” *The guard began to shout in protest, before Sebastian tossed him inside and shut the door. Pauly gets up immediately, pounding on the glass* “OI ASSHOLE! The fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

*Sebastian snapped his fingers and put one up to his lips* Quiet. Ah’m goin’ ta check it out. It ain’t lookin’ good on our department if they go an’ lose two men on th’job. Ya sit tight an’ wait it out fer me, ‘kay?

*The guard sputtered a few times at that response, gesturing his hands wildly before sighing and giving up any retort, having known Sebastian long enough to know arguing with him like this is fruitless* “If you go and get yourself killed I won’t be there for whatever shoddy funeral they give you. It’ll be all your fault down to the grave, Seb.”

Thank ya, kindly, Pauly. How ‘bout we go an’ git’a beer with th’boys if Ah make back it in at least 3/4s? Ah’ll make a’bet with ya. *Sebastian clicks off the safety of his pistol and checks the magazine while he talks*

“Wh- Pfft, fucksake, Sebastian. Fine, whatever, I’ll bet. Quit wasting time.”

*Sebastian nods and runs down the hallway, making a salute with his pistol before turning around completely*

[centrally-unplanned]

Oh lets drag up some more 2000's politics debates - Noah Smith had this take today:

So bait is bait, but I think this fun bait, I'll take this. Its a definition game (what does "win" mean) but that can still be elucidating.

There is obviously a sense in which the US won the War in Iraq - which is extremely easy to reveal by looking at Afghanistan! Unlike there, where the explicit, named enemy of the US outlasted us, overthrew our imposed regime, and took power, in Iraq it is true that the country is currently governed by the system the US built, and it rules with relative stability. Not ideal, but hey its not Syria or anything. This would in fact be *shocking* to people in the 2000's - back then the general vibe was that Iraq would descend into full-on civil war. People openly discussed throwing in the towel and just letting the country split in three. And then all of that just fizzled out over time, and people started buying into the system. Its not glorious "nation building" but it looks like it stuck. It is fair to say that Iraq is not in fact a disaster case study in the nation building timeline (from an outcomes standpoint, from other lens like humanitarian its different), and its often unfairly seen that way.

But there is just no coherent definition of "win" divorced from strategy, divorced from goals. Imagine if the US today jointly invaded Israel & Gaza both, and hey throw in Hezbollah too, what the fuck ever (Pro tip: don't do this) with the goal of setting up governments that did whatever the fuck they wanted, don't care, as long as they don't attack each other anymore. And we got Iraq today as a result? Eh, I won't fight you too hard if you call that a win. This magical funland scenario hit the target, right? The US wanted to de-escalate regional conflicts in the region, it did that. How nice a place those are to live or w/e wasn't the point.

In Iraq, "not falling apart" was not the goal. The goal was end Sadaam's WMD program, which well raincheck on that, but moving on was also to End Terrorism by Sending a Message to other enemy countries like Iran and also building a beacon of secular, liberal democracy in the Middle East to show the people that there was a better path to Islamic Fundamentalism, thus reducing its strength in the region.

It Did Not Do That.

Man, can I not emphasize enough how much it did not do that, how much the War in Iraq did not reduce the strength of Islamic Fundamentalism in the Middle East. It is literally, not figuratively-literally but actually-literally, one of the greatest own goals in the history of strategy since war has existed. I have explained that part in more detail too often in the past to repeat, but do I even need to? Say the sentence "The War in Iraq reduced Islamic extremism as a political movement" out loud and try not to laugh. You can't, its too absurd to get past your lips.

From that lens, the proper lens, I do not think you can call the War in Iraq a win. How stable Iraq is, while a dodged bullet for its people, barely scratches the surface of what would need to be shown to call it a win; and I see precious few nails that can join it.

[yuikomorii]

Happy Birthday to the BEST BOY!!🥳🏀❤️

// You have the ability to accomplish everything you set your mind to, and we all know you’re the apple of Yui’s eye. Thank you for never giving up on others and for making Yui the happiest girl alive while letting her feel like a normal teenager! (*＾ワ＾*)

Love you, Ayato! 🫶🏻

Since you guys asked for a new scenario, I decided to deliver it uwu. I’m still not very confident in my writing skills and I’m aware some parts sound really cheesy but I truly hope you will enjoy it! 💖

~Ayato’s Birthday short story~

Yui: Phew… it’s finally done!

( It took me three fails to make his cake but thankfully I finished it on time! )

Uuh… It was supposed to look better though but maybe the good result lays in the taste?

— Yui tries it —

Just like I thought, the taste didn’t deceive me! I tried my best not to make it too sweet, therefore I truly hope Ayato-kun will like it.

Speaking of Ayato-kun, I wonder if he woke up. It might sound a bit childish but I really want to be the first to congratulate him~!

— Place shifts to Ayato’s room —

Yui: Eh? The door is open…? Could it be that he’s awak—…! He left?

???: Nfu, what’s with the long face? Did you and Ayato-kun have a fight~?

Yui: L-Laito-kun! Gosh, don’t just whisper in my ear like that!

Laito: Why not~? Is it because it arouses you? As expected from you, Bitch-chan, you really grow into that nick—

Yui: E-Enough…!

Look, Laito-kun… do you happen to know where exactly Ayato-kun went?

Laito: And what if I do?

Yui: Well… in that case, where is he?

Laito: Bold of you to assume I’d tell you. You’re always so naive~

Yui: Eh? That’s…—

( Of course this guy wouldn’t help me! I can’t believe I really thought asking him would be a good idea… )

Laito: Nfu, I know that face, Bitch-chan, you were judging me in your thoughts, weren’t you? How rude~

Yui: W-Wait, you got the wrong idea! I just—

Laito: And I was merely trying to do you a favor, but I suppose you don’t appreciate such things from any man, am I right?

Yui: I don’t really get what you mean…

Laito: Well…~ all I’m going to say is that if you tried using your head a little, then maybe you would be able to guess where Ayato-kun is.

Yui: Hmm…

( Now that I think about it, the weather is beautiful today, neither too hot nor too cold. As far as I recall, this is Ayato-kun’s ideal type of weather for playing basketball. In that case… could he really be outdoors? )

Ah, I might actually know the place!

Laito: See? Making use of those brain cells once in a blue moon wasn't all that difficult, was it? Now hurry up or else you won’t be the first one to wish your precious boyfriend a “happy birthday” ~

Yui: …!

( Did he eavesdrop on me today!? )

( G-Geez… It’s a bit embarrassing knowing that he listened to such things. Despite this, he truly managed to be helpful in some way. )

Y-Yeah, I’ll leave right now. By the way… thank you, Laito-kun.

— Yui walks away —

Laito: ( Nfu, I wonder if she really guessed that place right. Too bad that desperate face didn’t last any longer, otherwise I might have truly taken advantage of it.~ )

— Place shifts outside the mansion —

Yui: Hoh— that’s a bit heavy!

( I tried to fit everything for his birthday in this basket but it weighs more than I expected! )

( Uuh… I really hope Ayato-kun is around here. )

???: Tsk, damn it!

Yui: That voice—! Ayato-kun!

Ayato: Huh? Yui?

— Yui jumps into his arms —

Yui: Happy Birthday, Ayato-kun…!

Ayato: Hah? Ah… Yeah…

So you remembered it, huh?

Yui: Obviously, there’s no way I would forget such an important day!

Ayato: It wouldn't have made a difference anyway. Birthdays have never been a reason to celebrate for vampires; they are just like any other day. Basically, we couldn’t care less.

Yui: Well… that might be so, however I do care about it. It’s true that humans and vampires have distinct points of view and mindsets, but this still won’t stop me from considering this day special. After all, that’s when Ayato-kun was born and I’m grateful for that, as a result I want to celebrate your birth.

Ayato: …

Yui: ( He suddenly went silent… Ah, did I really exaggerate with that confession? )

Ayato: Yui…

Yui: …!

( He’s smiling so brightly! )

( I would have never thought those words to make Ayato-kun so happy but seeing him like that… my heart can’t help but fill up with so much joy too…! )

Ayato: Geez, I’m supposed to be indifferent about my birthday but look at me grinning like a fool due to a Chichinashi such as yourself. Now you better take responsibility or else—

Yui: ( He says it in such a threatening way but that blushy face proves exactly the opposite, fufu. )

Ayato: Oi, what’s up with that basket?

Yui: ( Oh, right! )

I got something for you!

Ayato: Heh, only for me?

Yui: Yup!

( Although, I truly hope nothing got crushed. )

— Yui opens the basket and serves cake —

Yui: I know it doesn’t look perfect but I’m confident the taste is on your liking. I remembered that you aren’t too fond of very sweet food, therefore I tried avoiding adding marzipan and focus more on the fruits instead. Do you… like it?

Ayato: Haa… there’s no need for those useless explanations. You made that whole cake for me, so yeah, isn’t it obvious that I’d like it?

Yui: Ayato-kun…

— Ayato tastes it —

Ayato: Mm… as expected, it’s good! To be honest, Takoyaki would have been a far superior choice, but I can't deny that the cake Chichinashi made is also quite tasty.

Yui: Fufu, I knew exactly that you were going to say that, so I prepared this for you!

— Yui serves him Takoyaki —

Ayato: Hah!? Are you a magician or somethin’?

Yui: N-not at all! I just know Ayato-kun loves Takoyaki so much that he would eat them everyday, hence they couldn’t miss out on his birthday, right?

Ayato: You…

— Ayato pins her down —

Yui: Eh—?

Ayato: Bet you weren’t prepared for this, were you?

Yui: ( Is he going to suck my blood? )

— Ayato kisses her —

Yui: Nn…!

Ayato: Now I am the one catching you off guard. How does that feel, eh?

Yui: Good…

Ayato: Oh? What happened to “Ayato-kun, that’s so embarrassing!” ?

Yui: I-I mean… it is a bit yet I can’t deny that Ayato-kun’s gentle kisses are the best.

Ayato: Tsk… Why not so cute and honest all the time? Is it ‘cause of my birthday or what now?

Yui: I just felt like it…

( He’s just getting cuter and cuter! )

By the way… there’s one more thing I have to give you.

— Yui starts searching —

Ayato: A photo frame?

Yui: That’s so. I asked the school photographer to take this photo exactly when you scored and brought victory to your team. The happiness you felt in that moment… that’s something I always wish for you to experience.

— Ayato slightly blushes —

Yui: I also tried to decorate the frame myself based on what you like the most b-but if it’s too childish, then I will try to——

( He’s hugging me! )

Ayato: “What you like the most” she said, but how come I don’t see her there too then?

Yui: T-That’s—!

( Was that an indirect confession!? )

Ayato: Pfft… haha, that’s exactly the reaction I expected!

Love you, idiot. You really are the best~!

— Ayato stands up and starts walking away —

Yui: W-Wah—! Hey, d-don’t make fun of me like that!

Ayato: Can’t hear you~! If you wanna tell me something, catch me then!

Yui: You meanie!

— Yui stands up and starts running after him—

Yui: ( I can’t help but feel like a child once again when playing with him like that. It’s such a nostalgic feeling that somehow feels so distant... )

( As we run around the mansion, Ayato-kun is showing me his genuine smile… that’s the face that makes me fall more and more for him each and every day. )

( I love you Ayato-kun, thank you for being born. )