#error hasn't changed too much from then to now

[fl00mie]

i fucking adore how he says ""where am I" instead of "where are WE", this mf is always aware of his selfish ass and i love him for that

[keen-li]

I RE-DO | JJK

18+ minors DNI

ONESHOT.

synopsis: Young love is so sweet, but people never realize how foolish it can be (sometimes), especially for you and Jungkook. You and Jungkook were the typical high school sweethearts, and after school, you thought you were grown enough to get married. Your families disagreed, but you still went through with it. It was fine for the first year; you were still in the honeymoon phase. But soon, reality caught up, and you both had to go to university. You attended the same university, thinking it would make things easier. Many obstacles came your way, but you were still going strong, afraid of proving your family right. However, after two years of unhappiness, you both called it quits. Unfortunately, your relationship ended on a sour note, and the man you once loved turned into someone you never wanted to see again. So, what happens now, when you face him one more time after many years of being away from him.

playlist: Lewis Capaldi - Before You Go, Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved, Sia - Bird Set Free. Billie Eilish - wildflower, The weeknd - out of time

Ex husband Jungkook x ex-wife reader.

Lovers to I-don’t-like-you to strangers.

WC: 24.k [whoa.]

Warnings: <heavy?> ANGST, ANGST, ANGST. flashbacks (light), disagreements, young marriage, Jungkook is a lawyer, reader is a doctor. No accurate description of law or reality. crying, lol. very much angsty of angst. forgive any errors you encounter; it is revised but oh gosh there's only so much I can notice.

a/n: you might hate me for this one lol. but it is what it is.

As you walk into the room, you’re taken aback by the figure of the man you see. He's the last person you expected. it's been a while since you've seen him, a very long one at that.

The last time you saw him was well...

When you were with Jungkook.

Taehyung hadn't noticed you when you walked in. Your mask and scrubs doing a perfect job at hiding your identity. You wonder if he'd remember you. He surely would, it’s not like a million years have gone by.

and though he hasn't noticed you yet, you do notice him. The thing that catches your eye is how he's definitely grown out of his teenage face. His features are more chiseled. It suits him. Makes him look more matured.

A lot seems to have changed: he's married and now having a baby. Taehyung having a baby? You and Jungkook would've never thought. The local party boy settling down and starting a family, that's news.

You've grown to understand that people change though, you yourself as an example. You were kind of the typical party girl in your college days. Nothing too crazy though but you definitely enjoyed your liquor and music. Now you've changed and grown more reserved. Did you plan on it? No, it just happened, and you grew out of that life for some reason.

It's lost to you how Taehyung underwent his metamorphosis. Whether he wanted to or just like you "just happened", has you wondering. Your brain doesn't bother you too much about it.

But one thing your mind keeps on loop is if Jungkook has changed too and if so, how much? Did he ever grow to realize and reflect on himself.

You soon brush the thoughts away though. The last thing you should be thinking about is Jungkook, when you've got a job to do.

Sounds of relief and of a baby's cry soon fill the room. The noise helps you block further thoughts you want or should be thinking.

But still, it seems your brain doesn't work hard enough. Hence, leading you to wonder if this would've been you and Jungkook. Would it have been you doing the skin to skin with a baby you grew for 9 months with the man you love by your side for support. Could it have been Jungkook instead being handed the scissors to cut the umbilical cord. His usual bunny smile and doe eyes staring down at the baby. And his hands shaking cause of how nervous he'd be. he never liked to mess up.

"Look yn, you did it. I'm so proud of you baby."  he would coo, those doe eyes staring right into you with pure love and joy. "Oh! Not you baby. I'm talking to your mother.  How am I going to call both of you baby." He would say and laugh at his own joke afterwards. You would too, his jokes were so cheesy and cute. You loved them still though. you'd always wanted a family with him.

You were a fool to think you'd stop thinking about all that could've been. It pisses you off. You thought by now, passed all these years and some relationships it would stop.  But it never did and seeing Taehyung only reminds you of everything you've been trying to forget.

"Yn." Your senior doctor called you out of your thoughts. "Do a checkup on the Kim baby for me, I have another job." You nod and walk around to pick up the necessary paperwork.

You loved your job. Seeing life being brought into the world. The smile on the families faces and the happy couples. Even holding the little babies was so heartwarming.

But there are downsides to the job, many than you'd like to say. The tears the yelling, the disappointment. The losses, your biggest fears.

It broke your heart to see a woman push hard only for life to go as soon as it came. You never cried in front of the families; you had to be strong.  But you always did at home. You cried for many things. All the lives that could've been or how your life could've been. All things that might have been if you chose differently. Sometimes you'd get lost and end up crying about a dead fish you lost when you were 10. You didn't mind as long as you were crying and getting things off your chest.

Even through your own turmoil you were always there for the families: to give a warm presence. You did all you were allowed.  Some others would appreciate the comfort, but some would yell curses at you. You didn't blame them, emotions are high. It's part of the job.

A thick skin.

 You've grown it over the years. Whether it's from your own parents, Jungkook's parents or Jungkook himself. You've learnt how to cover up. It's not a good way of living but it's got you through most of the things in your life.

You're grown now. And you pat yourself on the back for what you went through. You were able to make it out and be where you want to be, even through the confusion of life and relationships.

You love your job, and you'd never change it, but it's so easy to feel empty and lonely. Whatever it is you're missing you don't know. But you can definitely feel an emptiness in you.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kim, I'm here to check up on you and the baby." You say walking in and deciding to address them formally. Clipboard in hand and mask forgotten.

It took him a second, then two, then three to recognize that voice. Then when he stared long enough it dawned on him.

"Yn?" Taehyung says dumbstruck. He was sat by his wife talking, while the baby slept, but as soon as he recognized you, he was on his feet.

You never thought he'd recognize you. but you assume you haven't changed that much, or Taehyung just knows you too well. He was your friend too. And it did crush you when you didn't talk to him or ignored him over these years.

"Taehyung." you say trying keep it professional but still acknowledging how you're just as pleased see to him.

"Yn!" you hear him call out in a faux sob. And soon like lightning you feel him crash you with his arms. He squeezes you so tight you might burst.

"I've missed you! why did you leave me?" You can hear sadness in his voice. It hurts your heart. You never meant to ditch him too, but it was difficult to stay friends when you knew where he was Jungkook would be too.

You rub his back in a way to reciprocate the hug as much as you can. He holds you so tight that you can barely move, and you're about to turn blue.

Turning your eyes to his wife, you beg for a hand.

"Tae, you're going to break our baby's doctor." She lectures him and with a final squeeze he lets you go.  She's heard of you from what Taehyung has mentioned but not in great detail.  Only when he's explaining a funny story that you might have been involved in, and her curiosity grew.

You all laugh as he lets you go, and you collect your breath.

"I'm sorry." His wife apologizes with her sweet voice before she sends a glare to her husband. You shake your head, understanding that Taehyung might have not grown as much as you thought. He's still got that hyper personality of his.

he pouts and turns back to you.

"Yn." He whines and you flinch thinking he'll hug you again. He doesn't.

"Taehyung how have you been?" You say still professional and calmed down. You're excited to see him and just as happy, but it's just difficult for you to adjust after not seeing him for so long.

"Is that all you can say? And why are you so professional?" He whines, and you chuckle at how he's still so childish.

"I'm a doctor, Taehyung. I can't be jumping around like a monkey." You say, clutching your clipboard to your chest.

His wife chuckles and says something about him not maturing yet. You of all people are aware of how childish he can be.

And like for the first time Taehyung takes in your outfit and gasps. "Shit yn you did it." He says with a smile "Doc yn." He teases.

"Don't tease me." you blush.

"I'm so proud of you though. I always thought you'd been kidding about the doctor thing." He rubs the back of his neck feeling embarrassed about doubting you. But you don't take offence as you show him your smile.

"I was very serious as you can see."

You both just chuckle.

"So, we're you...l-like in here too."

"Yeah, I think she was, I saw you right? Docter's assistant, right?" His wife asks.

You nod in affirmation.

Taehyung mentally slaps himself. How could he have not noticed. He feels so stupid right now.

"I'm so glad you delivered my baby." he says with a proud smile.

"Well, I didn-"

"Shut up you did deliver my baby." He slaps down your statement. "No, but like seriously, of all people in the world I'm glad you were the one to do."

You bow smiling, appreciating his words. Doing this feels like apologizing for ditching him. And hearing him say that makes you love you job even more.

"Waaah, look at how professional she is now." He mocks as he turns to his wife to tell her how you were such a brat and party girl. You deny the allegation even though they are true cause you don't want to ruin his wife's perception of you.

You've changed anyways so doesn't matter anymore.

"Don't worry we were all party girls once at least." She says and you can't help but appreciate how kind and sweet she seems. You haven't been introduced to her. But you find it unnecessary when you remember why you actually came here.

"I came to check on you and the baby." You say turning on professional mode which was never off.

You walk over to the baby, who was still sound asleep. Cute.

They all nod, letting you do your thing.

"Tell me yn.." Taehyung says when he's now sat by his wife. "Who does she look like?" He wants to settle the debate they've been having.

"Just be honest."

You turn to analyze the baby you were already scanning. You couldn't help but notice a little bit of Taehyung but when you stare longer you start to see more of his wife.

"I think she shares both of your features quite well." You speak.

Taehyung whines disappointed in your answer.

"She's just being professional, we should ask her when we go for dinner."

Dinner? when did you say you'd be going for dinner. You ignore it.

They talk and you smile at how they tease each other and are happy together. These are always your favorite kind of days.

"What time is Jungkook coming?" His wife whispers to Taehyung, but you're still able to catch on.

Jungkook's coming here? He's going to be here. The hell. You should've expected it, maybe you would've asked someone else to be here instead. But when you think about it you realize how inevitable it was, plus you got to reunite(?) with Taehyung. You doubt you'll see each other after this.

"He should be here soon." Your heart races and throat dries up for whatever emotion your body will not communicate to you.

Fuck. you still have more tests to run, and you haven't even begun with the mother.

You take a deep breath as the baby stirs but still stays calm. You're focused on the baby as you set her back into the hospital crib. The hospital you worked at was a really high-end one. Well, at least the part that Taehyung had picked out. He must be doing well for himself cause these ends are quite expensive.

He's a finance bro, studied finance and got a good job. So, he's differently doing well.

You wonder how Jungkook's doing, is he doing well...

"Look who's a dad."

You hear a knock, then the familiar voice follows. Your heart freezes and so does your whole body.

"Shh." Taehyung lectures him pointing to your direction. "There's a baby"

Jungkook follows his friend's eyes, to you. But he doesn't realize it's you, and you're glad for that. You wish you could just slip out right now.

But why are you the one anxious, he should be the one trembling right now. Not you. 

"Can I see her?" He coos and Taehyung nods.

"She's getting a check up though." Taehyung adds as Jungkook walks to you and your heart grows tighter as his steps grow closer. but you choose to stand firm in your spot.

The heels of his shoes tap against the floor and regrets wearing them. But he just came here from the office so he can't be blamed.

"I'm sure it's fine, right doctor?" He says with charm in his voice.

His voice awakens so many things in you. Anger, hate, insecurity, doubt, memory, yearn, search. But mainly anger. Anger at all that still left you burnt and bruised. All the stupid mistakes of your youth that you were warned about and could have avoided.

"I'd advise you wash your hands first." You turn to look at him eyes bland of any visible emotion.

Professional, yn be professional.

"Yn?" He says shocked and smile dropped from its previous spot. He heard your voice before getting to see your face. And if his memory serves him right...he is right. He can't be wrong.

His heart's as far as the sea goes. Nothing and everything go through his mind.

You don’t give him a response.

"Please wash your hands and sanitize if you decide to be close to the baby." No warmth in your voice or room for conversation. Everyone in the room can feel the tension and Jungkook is still shocked to see you, eyes and hands unmoving. He can't figure what he's feeling or thinking, he just...

Never expected to see you here. It's almost like a slap to his face, like the last time he saw you. And at the memory of the day, bitterness and anger sink in him.

You walk past him leaving a cold breeze for him to relish in.

You try to plaster a smile when you see the tension you caused. "Now it's your turn." You say to Taehyung's wife as you begin her checkup.

You're really trying your best to keep it cool, but you can feel the acid by your throat burn.

Jungkook just clears his throat and goes to the sink and washes his hands. Mind lost of any thoughts, but choosing to ignore them as usual. 

"So, I'm and uncle huh?" He says trying to clear himself of the tightness in his chest. Even though his voice doesn't sound as confident as before, he's just going to ignore it.

Ignore you.

"She's so cute, she's looks like you Tae." He declares caressing her cheek with his index.

Taehyung cheers and his wife rolls her eyes.

"Can you imagine,  yn said she shares both our features."

And the reminder that you're Actually here and not a nightmare is set for Jungkook to relish in.

"Docter's always right Taehyung, you should listen." You don't know whether he's being serious or sarcastic, but you could care less. All you want is to be out of here and away from him.

You want to scoff but choose to suck it in and ignore the remark or whatever it meant. 

Taehyung shrugs, deciding to let it go. It didn't matter who the baby looked like. It's all light-hearted. He's just happy that both his wife and the baby are okay.

Taehyung does realize the tension, which cause him to somewhat do things deliberately. He wanted to out loud comment on it but he's just going to let fate do its thing instead.

Once he saw you, he knew you'd have to meet Jungkook. It honestly makes him happy. Even though you're ignoring each other.

"Everything's good, so I'll be taking my leave now." you say. Everyone nods and acknowledges giving you little thanks Yous as you grab your stuff. Only Taehyung and his wife. You managed to ignore him and avoid him and all you have to do now is leave.

But as you're walking out a voice speaks.

"Yn, can we get some water?" Jungkook says, voice certain and eyes lowered at you.

He's just trying to get a rise at you yn, walk away. You try to calm yourself. There's so much bottled that you only realized today. You'd thought your anger died long ago but you guess not.

His statement is simple and not that deep but it's the way he says it and how your name has so much weight to it as he speaks it. Makes you irritated. How he's always made you stretch your neck out for him, but he never did for you.

"It's doctor. And about the water? That's not my job." You say your professional demeanor dropping so you can deliver it with more attitude. He knows it's not your job; he just wanted to say and see that look your face.

Why he did it? He doesn't have a reason but just wanted to (maybe) release the tightness in his chest. It doesn't leave anyways.

Fucking piss of shit.

"We should get married."

You stare at the goofball in front of you a smile forming on your face as you watch him speak.

"What?" You chuckle and he frowns at how unserious you're taking him.

"I'm serious yn, I want to marry you." He holds your hand. "We can get married, we're 19 and we're going to uni soon."

He watches how your face contorts at his suggestion.

"Do you not want to marry me?" He lifts his brow, and you groan.

"I do want to..." you start and as he waits to hear your but "...but..." and there it is "Don't you think we're a little too young for that?"

"We're old enough and plus what matters is that we love each other." he holds you closer to him under the tree you two adored to use to hide from the world.

"We'll get married, go to college together and when we can, get a house and live together."

You loved the sound of that, married to Jungkook and living with him as you went to school and back home to each other.  Of course you wanted that life with him, but there's a lot you're scared of,

"And our parents?" You ask worried.

He rubs your shoulder.

"Who cares what they think, I love you and I want to marry you." you blush and lean in closer into him feeling his heartbeat under your palm. You loved being with him, alone and away from the world and that's what you hoped marriage will do for the two of you. Keep your love protected from the world.

"So?" He asked and you knew what you were required to do. "Will you marry me yn?"

You stay silent to tease him and when he tickles you for an answer, you agree to answer.

"Yes Jungkook I'll marry you."

He smiles at your answer and places a kiss on your cheek holding you closer to him.

"I'll always love you yn, not matter what okay?"  He squeezes his face into yours.

"Okay?" He's voice is muffled against your cheek as you giggle.

"Okay, Jungkook, okay." your laughter dies down as he stops to place a kiss on your cheek.

You hated this. No. You hated him.

What's he so full of that he can come here and try to be sarcastic with you. In your territory.  You'll give it to him that he didn't know you'd be here but to be fair that's not an excuse to be an ass. You'd thought maybe he'd changed.

But no, he's still shitty and condescending as fuck.

You're glad you divorced him, and you're glad to know that you still hate his face. His stupid face. The stupid face that has grown into its masculine and manly features.

You hate that you even noticed that.

"Yn you good? "

"Huh?" You say still brain fogged "Yeah I'm good, just tired." You smile awkwardly and Rosie knows it's a lie. She sits next to you on the break-room bench.

"You sure? " She asks and you nod, not trusting your voice to speak.

"I don't believe you."

"Then don't." You say coming out a little too harsh, you're not mad at her so you apologize for the attitude. You're still set off from the interaction with Jungkook. It was barely an interaction cause you two were avoiding  each other like two ships at sea. But the tension and the way you avoided each other's space said a lot.

"Tell me yn." She whines in her bratty voice. "We've been friends since high school, why not tell me."

You sigh. You two have been friends for some time. She's been there for you and Jungkook's first date and your divorce. Damn it you did years of medicine together, so why hide from her. Plus, you know she won't stop bugging till you tell her.

"Jungkook's back." You probably shouldn't have phrased it like that. He's not back, you just happened to meet him while another old friend had a child.

"Taehyung had a baby and they have a delivery room upstairs and I bumped into him." You elaborate.

"Taehyung had a kid?" You deadpan her at how that's the only thing she heard. "Okay, okay" she raises her hands in defence. "So, you just saw him, you didn't talk?"

"No." you never really talked so you wouldn't phrase it as that.

"Then what's wrong darling." She wraps her arms around you and brings her face to yours.

You explain to her what he said and why it pissed you off.

"I'm just kinda pissed off. " You sigh and lean into her.

"He's a dick don't mind him. He's probably miserable and trying to bring you down after seeing you living out your dreams." She tries to comfort you.

You shake your head. "I don't know he looks good-he looks well I mean," you correct yourself. "Plus, Taehyung's in the private suite so I doubt they are anything close to broke."

Rosie doesn't know what to say now, she's not surprised. But you look disturbed and she wants to help.

"You know what? it doesn't even matter." she goes quiet. "You know what? we should go for drinks on the weekend."

Normally, you'd say no. But it's been while since you went out and the weekend was coming and you were weirdly free through all of it. So it wouldn't hurt to go out.

"Okay." Rosie's taken aback by your lack of reluctance. She prepared a whole speech to convince you encase you said no.

"Which bar? " You ask curious.

"Satin."

"Isn't it just opening up?" You stare with a questioning look. The opening of satin was all that was being talked about amongst your friends. So, you'd eventually end up curious and want to go there. it wasn't your plan to go on the first day though.

"Yeah makes it much better to find some rich bachelor." she whispers. "This doctor/residence job isn’t gonna pay for my new car."

You roll your eyes and chuckle at her amusement. She honestly makes you happy and able to forget everything that makes you feel like shit. It's her bright and bubbly characteristic that you envy and seem to lack.

"So, you and yn?" Taehyung asks as he does his warmups. Jungkook laughs at how Taehyung has been warming up for so long. He knows he's probably avoiding real gym work.

"What about me and her?" Jungkook says as he puts on his boxing gloves, trying his best to keep the conversation short.

He's not surprised he's bringing this up, he actually prepped himself for it.

"Still awkward?" Tae bends and stretches. Jungkook points for him to quit it and grab some gloves. He groans and grabs a pair. He should honestly be making most of the time he's got to be in a gym because he won't be here often.

"It's been over 4 years since we talked of course it's awkward." Jungkook  sends some practice punches into the air. He needs to quicken this conversation with Taehyung.  He knows what he's doing, and he knew it was going to happen as soon as he left the hospital, he was just waiting for when.

"Why not talk it out?" Jungkook almost snorts out at how stupid this conversation is.

Taehyung feels a gush of wind pass his face as Jungkook deliberately missed his face. Whether it's to shut him up, get him ready to work out or just for the fun of it, he doesn’t know. Taehyung doesn't know but Jungkook now options to hit him.  He uses his arms to protect himself from the man too focused on working out than the conversation.

"We never talked it out when we divorced, so why should we now." He speaks so lightly of the situation, no emotion or care for it. "We have no relationship." He spits out as he throws a punch that Taehyung dodges.

"Bullshit. You and yn are goals" Taehyung pauses "were goals at least, before whatever the fuck happened."

Jungkook chuckles but it's not anything from genuine amusement or from the good memories you two shared.

"Don't laugh, I'm serious.  You need to talk to her and get this shit sorted." Taehyung groans ad he blocks more of his blows. They grow more intense. "I hate being in between you two." Taehyung throws a punch of his own, when Jungkook is slow. "Pity me a child of divorced parents. Imagine how this has traumatized me." Taehyung is quick to his feet to throw a punch and Jungkook is the one to block it.

"Too bad. But you look fine to me, a kid, a wife and a good paying job." Jungkook takes back his dominance.

He's happy for Taehyung, but to say he isn't a little jealous is a..

"And what about you? " Jungkook loses his focus for a second and Taehyung lands a low blow in his gut.

He groans and fixes his footing and gloves as he tries to one-up Taehyung.

"I've got a good paying job. That's all I need." he says bluntly trying to focus on a free spot to throw a blow.

"Lies. Look the universe has brought you two back together, talk it out with yn."

Bang. Jungkook smacks Taehyung in the side of his face. To be fair that felt quite personal and he slightly feels bad for hitting him. He doesn't want him to go home and see his kid while he's all bloody.

But that's what he gets for bringing you up as a topic to talk about. After all these years, like he cares.

He doesn't care. Still, it's not like seeing you doesn't make him feel some sort of way. He feels something. Definitely some type of bitterness, anger and emptiness.

"No. Plus it's been 4 years. Far too long to 'talk it out'. " He air quotes with his gloves on. "And it's not just a small problem, we went through the wringer and failed.” Jungkook uses rapid movements to stop his thoughts. “So even if we talked it out what would it change, we can't be friends anymore. Or lovers at that." He scoffs at the thought.

Taehyung jumps back indicating he wants to stop and focus on the topic. Jungkook groans and rolls his eyes.

Taehyung doesn't care, he'll press on. He knows Jungkook likes to avoid and that's why he'll keep bringing it up.

"Closure, Jungkook closureeeee!" Taehyung  empathizes.

Jungkook chuckles. "She divorced me, that's my closure. I signed the papers, that's her closure." He won't lie but he could feel how harsh and insensitive his words sound as they left his mouth. But it's too late to take them back. At least you weren't here to hear them.

"Oh, come on, don't be so stiff hearted." he takes off his gloves getting kind of irritated at his friend for being so reckless and not doing what he should've done years ago.

Fight for you. Make you want to stay. Change and be better. Or whatever.

As a witness Taehyung knows what Jungkook and you had can never be replaced. And even though Jungkook has tried he's just miserable though he says otherwise.  But he's just so stubborn.

"Well maybe if she wasn't so stiff minded, we would've been the ones with the kid, maybe even two with a dog even." he says chugging down a bottle of water trying cool his racing heart that races from the exercise and not the thought of starting a family with you. The thoughts have always haunted him. And they've now been revived even more and it's irritating.

"See? Talk it out. " Taehyung says feeling like he's found a weak spot.

"Fuck off. Its never gonna happen. I'm just talking out of my ass." Taehyung knows he's lying; he's always known Jungkook to want a family and the only person he knew that he'd want that was with you. He knows it's hard to reignite something from years ago, but it's never too late to try.

"More like heart" Taehyung whispers and Jungkook sends him a dead-behind -the-eyes gaze.

You had forgotten how much you enjoyed dressing up and going out with your friends.  From marriage, to school, to work you've really lost some parts of yourself. You still love and appreciate it all in the good and bad, but you still wish you could have some of your college ways back.

The mini dresses, heels, makeup and hair done.  Just reminds you of how attractive you are.

You laugh.

Even through all these efforts you're finding hard to put yourself out there into the dating world. It's all tiring, from the men to the dates, to the kissing and touching that never satisfies.  It’s just not the same anymore. Nothing feels good and you hate to admit it.

You decided to go dressed casual but still making an effort.

"Oh my gosh girl, switch bodies with me." Rosie whines as she cheers you on in your outfit. She's dressed in a tiny black skirt and red lace top; she looks so good and you're sure she's gonna leave you alone the whole night.

Rosie always looks good in what she wears, and you admire how confident she manages to be. you wish that for yourself right now.

You do love to dress up. But like most things, you've lost a touch for looking good. Most of your times you're either in your scrubs or in comfy home clothes you wear when you never see the light of day.

But for tonight you make an effort to connect into your inner party girl.

The black, mid-thigh, bodycon dress hugs your figure as its long sleeves hug your arms. Rosie’s favorite part of the dress; the low bare back cut.

You were feeling a little self-conscious about it but when Rosie told you looked hot and you'd definitely catch everyone's eye., you decide to say fuck it and go on.

That's the point of tonight, right? To let go and forget.

"I think it's so fucking cool that Jimin opened a nightclub," Namjoon says, sitting at the back of the car.

"It's quite Jimin of him," Taehyung and Namjoon laugh.

And like a saint, Jungkook keeps his eyes on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel.

"How about you?" They all turn to Jungkook.

Jungkook finally speaks when he realizes he's being talked to. "What about me?" He speaks as though he wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"What do you think about Jimin opening a club?"

Jungkook shifts in his seat for no specific reason. "It's cool, I guess."

"Cool?" Namjoon exclaims at how boring and plain his answer sounds. "Come on."

"What?" Jungkook defends himself. "I mean, it's cool, and I'm proud of him. What else do you want me to say?" He leans back into the car seat, finally getting comfortable, but his mind is still so far away.

Taehyung and Namjoon furrow their brows at Jungkook’s tone but soon brush away his lack of excitement or interest. In his defence, he was with Jimin during every step of buying and furnishing the club, so it's not as exciting for him. Only Jungkook had been in on it because he helped Jimin with the legal side of it all. So maybe that's why he's not so excited.

Or maybe it's because of the fact that he's never been one to be a club-goer. It's not that he doesn't enjoy it when he gets the chance, but it's never been for him. You were always the club-goer in the relationship, and you'd always drag him to go. And because you were with him, he would go and enjoy his time. It's all different now.

Clubs feel weird; they hold memories and empty feelings.

"Try to enjoy tonight, okay?" Taehyung pats Jungkook’s back.

He doesn't get the gesture but takes it anyway. Taehyung knows his friend isn't being himself right now, and he's got his suspicions about the cause. But he won't bug him; he’s already done his part.

They walk into the club and soon are met with their blond-haired friend, who excuses himself from the previous conversation to walk over to them.

Hugs and greetings are shared.

"Congratulations, bro! This place is beautiful."

Jimin's proud of how well this place turned out. It's his newfound pride and joy.

The place is a typical high-end nightclub, with the best music, drinks, and food. The decor and ambiance fit Jimin's fantasies to a tee.

"Yeah, all thanks to Kookie boy over here, I was able to buy and renovate it with no trouble." Jimin turns to Jungkook, who seems lost in staring at the place.

The club isn't too crowded; they got there early to look around and talk to Jimin because they knew he'd be busy the rest of the night.

"Ya! Jungkook, are you with us?" Jimin calls him out.

He turns to where he's being called as he blinks. "Y-yeah, I'm here."

They all choose to ignore it, knowing that he can be distant sometimes.

"You guys grab some drinks; I have some people to talk to." Jimin excuses himself, and they know the only time they're going to see him is when the night ends.

Jungkook is the first one to walk off and grab himself a drink; he's going to need it.

You and Rosie planned on going early, but because of traffic and your delay in getting ready, you were two hours late after the opening. You knew it would be packed since it was the grand opening, but shockingly, it was not as crowded as you expected. There was room to move and walk around. Most people were so well-dressed that you'd think this was a gala instead and that you were underdressed. But no matter what, you still felt out of place.

You looked good and felt good, but there’s only so much you can do to make yourself comfortable.

Rosie scoped the place, and when she spotted the bar, she pulled your hand toward it.

"First, we drink," she said, more excited than you. She ordered the drinks, and soon you were handed one.

As you sipped, you felt eyes on you. You'd felt them since you walked in; whether you minded it or not, you didn't know yet. You still felt like a sore thumb, but after this drink, you were sure you'd settle into the scene.

"So many hot men. Damn," Rosie muttered to herself, but you were still able to catch what she said. You chuckled, happy that she was settling in. She was so good at it.

Soon, you were on your third drink—nothing crazy. You weren't trying to get blacked out, but you were definitely feeling a little more settled in.

Rosie left a few minutes ago to talk to some people or whatever. And even though she offered, you declined to go along with her. You weren't up to meeting strangers tonight. You just wanted to enjoy yourself, by yourself. So, you sat by the bar and enjoyed the music.

"You enjoying the night?"

A voice from your left spoke. You took a minute to respond, debating whether the man was speaking to you.

You turned and took in his appearance: blond hair swooped back, making him look clean and professional, and a suit that fit his physique perfectly.

"Yeah," you chuckled, not sounding convincing and not trying to keep the conversation going.

The man seemed to want to continue talking, though, and honestly, you didn't know if you were interested in conversing with him. He didn't seem like a creep, but you could never know with men.

The silence consumed you (excluding the club music), and his presence lingered by your side.

A glass slid in front of you as you looked to the bartender, who then directed you to the man sitting next to you.

"It's on the house." He stared at you with a warm, cheeky smile, and you stared back with a suspicious one.

You took the glass into your hands and brought it to your lips. Might as well make the most of the interaction if he wasn't going to leave. "You say that like you own the place," you chuckled as the liquid slid down your throat. You couldn't help but cringe at how strong it tasted.

The blond stayed silent and watched you, waiting for you to catch on.

"Wait... are you actually the owner?" you paused.

You watched a slow smile form on his lips. He nodded.

You squinted. "Or are you just saying that to try and flirt?" You kept your eyes narrowed.

"The last thing I'd do is lie."

You wouldn't say you were surprised, because now that you looked at him, he fit the picture of a high-end nightclub owner. Even the way he spoke—gently and respectfully—made you want to warm up to him.

But why was he talking to you? Didn't he have other things to do?

"Wow. That's cool. The place looks lovely." You took in the environment one more time. You'd never expect to meet the owner of the club, and you never thought he'd be so young. Older men were typically more likely to own such a place.

"It should, because I spent quite the penny on it." He chuckled, sipping his own drink. You took in his words. How much does such a place cost? Does he own it by himself, or does he have partners? You didn't want to ask, though; you just kept your eyes on him and shifted them elsewhere when he turned to look at you.

"Must feel good to see it so full, huh?"

"Yeah, but..." he paused, and you turned your body to give him your full attention. Finally. "My heart breaks when I see people sitting at the bar, looking like they're not enjoying their time."

You laughed and blushed, embarrassed, knowing that he was talking about you. Is that what you looked like to people? Like you were bored?

You laughed one more time before you decided to speak. "I am enjoying my time," you started, not sounding too convincing at all. "It’s just been a while since I've been out."

He nodded. "I get it. Busy with work?" It was a random question, and he debated with himself on whether to assume.

"Yeah," you laughed, thinking about work, and soon your thoughts drifted back to the man you met, and the bitterness sprang up again, but you hid it, not wanting to sour your mood. You downed the drink, maybe to burn away the feeling and thought, to erase the picture forming in your mind.

"Then you should let loose." He stood, holding out his hand for you.

"W-what?" You choked out with a smile.

"Come dance with me." He was charming; you wouldn't lie, and you were definitely charmed.

"No, I can't..." you laughed.

"You have a boyfriend?" He raised a brow, and you shook your head. "Husband?" You could feel the acid reflux come back up again. You shook your head once more, this time less enthusiastically.

"Then come dance with me. Please?" He held his hand out, waiting for your answer. "Make my night."

You didn't need much sweet-talking; you were going to say yes anyway, but he seemed like a nice guy, and he was attractive—very much so. It wouldn't hurt to dance with someone, even just once. This was your chance to catch up to Rosie’s streak tonight, though no one could compete.

"Okay," you said as you took his hand, which was warm to the touch. Your eyes moved down to his wrist as you noticed the Rolex that adorned it. You weren't a watch person, but that was definitely some high-class stuff.

"Thank you," he said with a smile as he placed an unexpected hand on your lower back. You didn't mind it, and you soon warmed up to it.

You danced for a few minutes, and you quickly forgot your reluctance, letting loose in his arms. He swiftly pulled you back into his chest as you swayed your hips.

"Look at you," he said, complimenting how you smiled and danced. "And you wanted to rot yourself at the bar."

You sheepishly laughed, not knowing what to add. It was definitely nice to get off the stool and dance, especially with someone who had shockingly made you comfortable.

"I didn't catch your name, love," he whispered in your ear as you held onto his shoulders. He felt stupid for going this long without getting your name, but better late than never, right?

"My name's Y/N. What's yours?"

He smiled as he leaned in closer.

"Jimin."

"Jimin? That's a pretty name."

Jimin chuckled. He'd take the compliment.

"Is it?" You nodded. Jimin got lost in your eyes, and you got lost in his as well. "Would you like me to show you around?"

"Like around the club?" You moved back to catch his gaze as he nodded. "Yeah, sure, I'd like that."

So you stepped off the dance floor as he held your hand, guiding you on the path to walk. He wasn't planning on doing anything ridiculous with you; maybe it was just the excitement of being the new owner that had him wanting to show people around.

Meanwhile, Jungkook was still not feeling the atmosphere. Boredom and bitterness still coated his chest. Neither his friends nor the women who came to talk to him seemed to make the night pleasant.

Though he tried to avoid it, the alcohol did help to make the night a little more tolerable. He watched the dance floor from their VIP section as his friends chatted about whatever, and he stared mindlessly.

He listened to how Taehyung refused to drink, only settling for a non-alcoholic beverage since he had to go back home to a baby. Namjoon teased him for his newfound sense of responsibility.

"What the fuck is up with Jungkook?" Namjoon asked Taehyung directly.

"Maybe it's because he bumped into Y/N at the hospital. Did I tell you?"

Namjoon shook his head. "What was she doing there? Don't tell me she had a baby too!"

Taehyung scoffed at Namjoon’s suspicion. "No, she's a doctor. I think he'd lose his shit if she did, though. Just look at how affected he is from seeing her."

He definitely would. He'd lose his shit real bad.

"So you think it's about that?" Namjoon took a sip.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Did they seem cool at all?"

"As cool as two bulls seeing red," Taehyung scoffed.

"I'll be back." They heard the subject of their conversation speak as he stood.

"Damn," Namjoon said, watching Jungkook walk away.

Jungkook had been dodging every woman who came into contact with him. Tonight was about supporting Jimin, not finding a hookup. Plus, he had been too busy with work to even find interest in hooking up.

To be honest with himself, he had been quite thrown off since the day he saw you at the hospital. Your white coat and blue scrubs complemented your skin. Fuck, he hated it.

He hated being off his game; it was the anger he felt. He had always wondered what he would do if he ever saw you again, and he had never known the answer. Even right now, he didn't know what to do about it. But he didn't need to think too much about it. He had only seen you once, and that was that. It’s not like he was going to see you again.

Gosh, he always wondered if you stayed in Seoul, and it looked like you did. He had always felt fine not knowing if you were within the city or not. But now that he was sure you were still here and probably frequenting the same places he did, the town felt small, and the air felt suffocating.

He was angry, bitter, and confused. With Taehyung in his ear, he grew more bothered by your existence. He had been fine when he never saw you, never knew where you were, or if you were okay—not knowing if you had ever moved on or not. He had been fine not knowing and just forgetting about you.

Or at least he thought he was.

Seeing you just opened a wound to something he had forgotten—not healed.

Since that day, he had been bombarded with thoughts and worries about you. He had questions, but he didn't know if he would be able to ask them if he opened his mouth. Or if he would even want to know the answers to some.

Whenever you were around and he opened his mouth, he just let his bitterness take the lead and speak for him.

He did feel shitty for what he said. To the outside eye, it might have seemed harmless, but between the two of you, it held more weight, and he should have known better than to say it.

Why couldn't he have just said "hi"? Like a normal person.

"Have you gotten the chance to go over the results?" Jungkook's assistant asks as he walks into his office. Is he an assistant? More like an associate, rather.

"No, I just got them, so I only skimmed through." To be honest, he's been trying to balance a lot lately: his work, this case, his thoughts, and his emotions—specifically, you. He's never had this much trouble before, but it needs to stop. It's a big and emotionally sensitive case he needs to work on, so he needs to have his full focus on analyzing the case and not on what he did to lose you.

"Take a look," Jaehyun suggests to his superior, who seems out of it. "And I was thinking we should get a doctor to testify." He lays out the papers on Jungkook’s side table, and Jungkook lets him, watching closely and trying to pay attention.

"I can have some doctors go over the report and—" Jungkook's voice intercepts and startles the younger man.

"No. That won't be necessary. I already have someone." Jungkook says, a small smile taking over his face.

This is a good chance for him to see you again and get the opportunity to apologize for what he said. And maybe his mind will leave him alone.

"You've got to be kidding me! Why am I being haunted?" you exclaim, disbelief flooding your voice as you approach the front desk. The sight of Jungkook standing there sends a rush of conflicting emotions through you—anger, frustration, and an undeniable pang of something else you refuse to acknowledge. Jungkook knew you wouldn’t be happy to see him, but all he hoped was that you wouldn’t make a scene.

"Don't be childish," he replies, his tone clipped as you draw closer. "Look, I’m not here to argue; I just want to talk." He pulls you aside, creating a small barrier between the two of you and the bustling crowd around the desk.

"Nothing to talk about, Jeon," you mutter, folding your arms defensively. Surprisingly, you don’t walk away, even though every part of you screams to escape. You tell yourself it’s to avoid causing a scene, but deep down, you know it’s more complicated than that.

"I need your help." His rushed, hushed words catch you off guard, and you can’t help but snicker, a bitter laugh escaping your lips.

"With what?" You feign disinterest, but the urge to provoke him lingers, like a moth drawn to a flame.

"A case I'm working on. I need a doctor to testify." His seriousness is almost comical, and for a moment, you think he must be joking. It feels like a cruel twist of fate—he rose from the ashes of your past just to humiliate you all over again.

"And you came to me to recommend someone? I'm pretty sure you have other people to ask." You turn to leave, your heart racing with a mix of indignation and something softer that you refuse to acknowledge.

"I want your help." His words stop you in your tracks, and you feel a flicker of something—hope? Regret? You roll your eyes, trying to mask the turmoil inside.

"This is stalking, Jungkook. Just because you know where I work doesn’t mean you can show up whenever you feel like it." You find yourself trying to ignore the weight of his previous words, the way they linger in the air between you.

Jungkook sighs, frustration etched across his features. He knows he shouldn’t have come here; it’s weird, especially given the history between you two. What made him think you’d suddenly warm up to him after four years apart? He should have thought it through before leaping at the opportunity. But there’s something familiar about being around you, something that feels like home, even after all this time.

"I'm sorry," he says, and the words take you aback. You never thought you’d hear him apologize for anything. Your hands drop to your sides as you struggle to look anywhere but at him. "I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry. But I need your help." He doesn’t necessarily need your help, but he sure does want it. It’s not the apology you’ve been waiting for, but it stirs something deep within you.

"No, I’m not going to. Plus, I’m just a junior doctor," you say, your tone softening as you reluctantly engage in the conversation.

"You got your degree, didn’t you?" He asks, and you nod, feeling a flicker of pride. Before you can respond, he continues, "Practicing license?" Another nod. "Work experience?" His questions come in a rush, and you knit your brows together, feeling the pressure of his expectations.

"Yeah," you reply, glancing around your workplace, filled with patients, doctors, and nurses, all oblivious to the tension crackling between you two.

You shake your head, trying to ground yourself in reality. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It’s all you need to testify and ensure your words aren’t null and void."

For a fleeting second, you consider it. Then you don’t.

"And honestly, why the hell would I want to help you?" You snap back, your arms folding across your chest once more, a barrier against the emotions threatening to spill over.

"You're not helping me; you're helping a little girl." His words freeze you in place, and suddenly, the weight of his plea sinks in. "Honestly, I don’t care if we’re good or not. I just need your help. She needs your help."

You don’t know if it’s his new method of guilt-tripping or the sincerity in his voice, but the statement has you straightening your back, your resolve wavering.

"Don’t guilt trip me," you lower your eyes at him, and he scoffs, a hint of amusement dancing in his gaze as he watches your expression shift.

"I'm not," he insists, and maybe it’s the cheeky smile that suddenly forms on his face that makes you shy under his gaze. Jungkook’s words have always had a way of getting to you, and you’re shocked to find that it still works. You guess it’s a good thing he became a lawyer; it suits him.

Jungkook sighs, his expression softening. "You know what? If you don’t want to help me, it’s alright. I get it—"

"I’ll help you." The words escape your lips before you can fully process them, and you can’t help but feel a mix of surprise and resignation.

You had spent more time than you wanted with Jungkook over the week, but it was just to prepare you. Once you helped him, you hoped he’d leave you alone and you could finally go your own way, trying to forget as much of him as you could.

"What should I wear?" you asked him over the phone. It reminded you of conversations you’d had before visiting his parents. You promised to only use his line for talking about the case, and that’s what you were doing; afterwards, you swore you were going to delete it.

"Wear what you want." He leaned back in his chair, listening to you talk while paying close attention.

"Even my underwear?" You tried to be sarcastic.

You could hear Jungkook’s soft chuckle, and it warmed your heart, making you blush. Thoughts of your late-night calls flooded your mind, but you quickly caught yourself.

Stop, you told yourself as you wiped the smile off your face.

"Not for the court." His index and middle fingers found their way to rubbing his lower lip. You could hear the sultriness in his voice, and his tone reminded you of something—ah, phone sex.

Why the hell are you thinking this? Shit.

"Wear what you want, just make it presentable." His tone shifted back to serious. Your silence made him think he had crossed a line. Honestly, he didn’t intend to; it just came so naturally to him.

You sighed. Jungkook waited for you to end the call, but you didn’t.

"Goodnight," you finally found the courage to say, ready to end the conversation.

"Goo—" Before he had a chance to respond, the line beeped, and you hung up.

The thought of hearing his voice and having it embedded in your mind once again was too much for you to handle. Hearing his voice was already overwhelming.

It was deeper, more mature, and sensu—

"Not possible for the injuries sustained to be accidental or self-inflicted," you assert, your voice steady and confident, just as Jungkook instructed you to be. Your gaze drifts to him, and you catch his encouraging smile, a small nod that sends a rush of warmth through you. It feels good to have him there, supporting you, but the past few days spent working on this case with him have left you in a whirlwind of emotions, unsure of what to feel.

"So, Mrs—sorry—Doctor," Jungkook’s counterpart interjects, the slip of your title not an accident but a tactic that has Jungkook sitting up straighter in his chair, adjusting his suit. He senses the tension in the air and doesn’t like where this is headed. "What you’re saying is that it’s not possible?"

"Y-yes." You can see how the slip-up has thrown you off balance; your tone falters, but you fight to maintain your confidence, even as you avoid Jungkook’s gaze.

"Not in this lifetime or the next?" The pressure mounts, and you feel the anxiety bubbling within you, your palms growing clammy as your heart races.

"I’ll never want to be with you again in this life or the next," you had yelled at Jungkook one night before your divorce, the memory echoing painfully in your mind.

What the hell is happening? Your heart constricts, and you feel the weight of the room pressing down on you.

"Yes," you say, your voice firmer now, desperate to move past this line of questioning. The only time you’ve ever been in a courtroom was to sign your divorce papers.

"And perhaps, do you think you’re not knowledgeable enough to determine this?" he presses, and you can feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

"No. If you’re not satisfied, I have many other doctors’ statements with me," you retort, a hint of cockiness creeping into your tone.

"Not necessary." He shrugs it off, turning to his table to pick up some papers. "But I do have to ask..."

A smirk plays on his lips, and Jungkook feels a knot of anxiety tighten in his stomach.

"Are you maybe a little biased in your opinion because of your close relationship with Counsel Jeon?"

You freeze, the words hitting you like a punch to the gut. Stay calm, Y/N.

"What do you mean?" you ask, your voice steady but your heart racing.

"Objection, Your Honor. What he’s asking is unnecessary," Jungkook interjects, his voice firm.

"Overruled."

Jungkook groans, frustration boiling beneath the surface. This isn’t what he wanted, but he should have expected it. He got too carried away enjoying your presence, even if he won’t acknowledge it.

"Go on, Counsel." Now you’re about to be grilled about something you’re not prepared for.

"Thank you, Your Honor. Now, Ms. or Mrs.," he jeers.

"I prefer Dr.," you snap back, irritation flaring as you feel your professionalism slipping.

"Doctor, are you married?"

You chuckle, the absurdity of the question almost making you laugh.

"In front of the court?" you tease, your tone a mix of annoyance and playfulness. Jungkook can’t help but feel a swell of pride at how you’re handling yourself. You’ve always had to defend yourself against his family, and he’s felt like a coward for not standing up for you when you needed it most.

"That’s not what I mean, and you know it."

You shrug your shoulders, insinuating otherwise, and take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

"No, I’m not."

"So, divorced? Because it was made known to me that you and Counsel Jeon had an intimate relationship." His words cut deep, and you bite your inner cheek, hoping you don’t draw blood. "Could your statement and judgment be influenced by the romance you two share, henceforth you help him and influence others to do so?"

Your mouth goes dry, and you take a moment to collect yourself, refusing to look at Jungkook, afraid of the look in his eyes that might make you break down.

"Jeon and I don’t share any sort of relationship outside of this courtroom," you say, your heart constricting painfully. Jungkook shifts in his seat, frustration simmering as he wishes he could react, but he knows he can’t.

"But you have, am I right?" he bellows, clinging to the idea. "Four years ago, married for two years, no children." With each word, you bite harder into your cheek, feeling the pressure mounting.

"Your Honor!" Jungkook tries to interject, but he’s ignored.

You glance at the judge, and Jungkook recognizes that look on your face —the same look you’d give him at family dinners, a silent plea for him to speak up, to defend you. But he never did, and the weight of that regret crushes him. Why was he such a coward? The determination to protect you surges within him, and he knows he can’t let this continue.

The judge looks at you, waiting for your answer.

So, you take a deep breath, steeling yourself against the onslaught of emotions.

"Yes," you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Who ended the relationship?" he snaps back, the pressure mounting like a vice around your chest.

"I did," you respond quickly, the words spilling out before you can think.

"And was it because of something he did or something you did?"

"Objection, Your Honor!" Jungkook’s voice cuts through the tension, sounding more agitated than he intended. His assistant can see how unlike him he’s being; he’s never responded with this much emotion, but the stakes are too high.

"Skip the question, Counsel." The judge’s tone is firm, and Jungkook feels a flicker of satisfaction, but it’s not enough. He needs to get you out of this situation.

"Why did you end the relationship?" The defence attorney presses, and you can feel the weight of the room closing in on you.

"The typical—I wasn’t happy," you say blandly, though inside, the iron taste of anxiety lingers.

"Have you and Mr. Jeon rekindled that old flame?"

Would you call hanging out to prepare for this case rekindling? No. Would you call enjoying his presence and calling him for small things about the case rekindling a flame?

You almost laugh, but it’s a hollow sound.

"No," you reply, your voice steady.

"Then why are you helping him here today?"

"I'm not helping him; I'm helping the little girl."

You can see a smile appear on the defence attorney's face, a smugness that makes your skin crawl.

"Do you know her personally?" he asks, dripping with sarcasm, but you refuse to bite.

"No."

"Then why help? Why should you care about a stranger?"

"I don’t need to know a person to care for them. That’s one of the reasons I am a doctor. She’s just a child, and I have an obligation to defend her when I can," you say, your voice rising with conviction.

But beneath that conviction, a deeper feeling wells up inside you—a longing to be defended yourself. All your life, you’ve faced hellfire from your parents and others, and all you ever wished for was someone to stand up for you. Maybe that’s why Jungkook had stolen your heart in high school; he was there for you, defending you from bullies and creeps. But when it came to his parents, he had failed you.

"Is it the girl you care about or Counsel Jeon?" The defence attorney’s voice cuts through your thoughts, and frustration bubbles to the surface. Your heart races, and you feel the walls closing in, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You might just have a panic attack.

Jungkook sees it, his palms sweating as he fights the urge to intervene.

"Tell the court, Doctor. Tell them how you still hold feelings for him and are doing this to get back with him. You don’t care about that little girl; you care about Jeon and helping him because you still love him, and your findings are biased and inaccurate."

His words press down on you, and you feel yourself slipping. In this moment, you’re bound to say anything—true or false—just to escape this suffocating situation. Jungkook is uncomfortable in his seat, knowing he can’t react how he wants to, but something in him still wants to know what you might say.

"I don’t love him; I was young and stupid when I married him, and it was a mistake," you rush out, frustration spilling over as you fight to free yourself from these overwhelming feelings. You don’t want to break down here, not in front of everyone, not in front of Jungkook.

You’re on the verge of tears.

The defence attorney opens his mouth to speak, but Jungkook’s voice cuts through again.

"Your Honor, my witness is uncomfortable and has done what she came to do. Anything else is unnecessary." His tone is fed up, and he’s not about to let this continue. If the judge says no, he’ll pull you out of here, consequences be damned. He can’t bear to watch you suffer like this. He’s hurt you enough in your life, and he blames himself for forcing you into this situation.

"I’ll agree with Counsel on this," the judge finally says. "The witness is free from the box."

You let out a sigh of relief, but it’s hard to move. The weight of the moment lingers, and you feel the tears well up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. You turn on your heel and storm out of the courtroom, not daring to glance back at Jungkook. The rush of emotions is overwhelming, and you can feel the tears welling up, blurring your vision as you push through the door.

"Y/N, wait!" Jungkook calls after you, his voice cutting through the chaos in your mind. You can hear his footsteps echoing behind you, but you don’t stop. You need to get away, to breathe, to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the courtroom and the weight of the past that hangs between you.

Once you’re in a clear area, he catches up to you, grabbing your arm gently but firmly. "I can’t just let you go like this."

You pull away, your heart racing. "I came here to help, not to get grilled about something I’m still trying to forget, Jungkook." Your voice trembles, the tears finally spilling down your cheeks. You wipe them away angrily, but they keep coming, each drop a reminder of the pain you’ve been trying to suppress.

Jungkook’s heart breaks at the sight of you, vulnerable and raw. He’s seen you cry before, but this feels different—more intense, more real. "I know, and I’m sorry. That’s how the court is. But it’s my fault," he says, stepping closer, his voice low and earnest.

"If I had known, I would’ve—"

"You would’ve what? Defended me? There’s nothing you’ve ever done to defend me unless it was to soothe your own ego or pride," you spit out, the venom in your words reflecting the hurt that has festered for so long.

"Y/N…" He pleads, searching for the right words, but they elude him. You’re the only person in this world who can silence him, whether it’s with your sweetness or your rage. Normally, he’d have a comeback for anyone else, but with you, he’s left speechless.

"Don’t say anything. I’ve helped you, and I honestly hope you win—not for you, but for that little girl." You take a shaky breath, trying to regain your composure. "But please, never come to my work again or even call. Please." Your voice softens at the end, a desperate plea that cuts through the anger.

His heart aches at your words. You’re asking him to leave you alone, but deep down, he knows you don’t really mean it. Your heart is pleading for him to hold you, to tell you that everything will be okay, that he’s there to protect you. But he can’t say that now—not when you’re so hurt.

He doesn’t fight back, not like he usually would. This time, it’s strategic. He knows you’re angry, and there’s nothing he can say to change that. He respects your wishes, but he won’t let you go—not this time. He’s let his cowardice and lack of effort keep you from him for too long, and he’s realized he doesn’t want to be away from you anymore.

"Truly trouble in paradise?" The voice that had once torn down your walls now cuts through the tension like a knife, and Jungkook can think of nothing but the seething rage boiling inside him.

"You’re a fucking piece of shit," Jungkook growls, his voice heavy and thick with fury. He barely registers the curious glances from those around him; all he can focus on is the man standing before him, the source of his torment.

"Being good doesn’t pay, Jeon," the man sneers, a smug grin plastered across his face. In an instant, Jungkook’s anger ignites, and he lunges forward, wrapping his fist around the man’s collar, the force of his grip wiping the smile off his face. The adrenaline surges through him, amplifying his strength and fury. He could easily crush this man, and the thought is intoxicating.

But just as he’s about to unleash his pent-up rage, his assistant, Jaehyun, steps in, urgency lacing his voice. "Jungkook, please." He grips Jungkook’s arm, trying to pull him back from the brink. Jungkook’s jaw clenches tighter, his eyes locked onto the man beneath him, a tempest of anger and pain swirling within. He’s ready to say fuck it and end this right here, right now. He could do it, and a dark part of him wants to.

But he knows better. This isn’t just about him; it’s about you. It’s about the mess that has become your lives, and he can’t let his anger spiral out of control—not for himself, not for anyone, and especially not for you.

With a surge of frustration, he shoves the man backward, watching as he stumbles but manages to catch himself, quickly dusting off his shirt. The sight only fuels Jungkook’s rage further.

"Fuck you, you piece of shit," Jungkook snarls one last time, his voice low and dangerous.

The man smirks, a cruel glint in his eyes. "I’m not the one with a failed marriage, Jeon." The words hang in the air, a taunt that cuts deeper than any physical blow. Jungkook feels the heat of humiliation wash over him, a reminder of everything he’s lost.

"Where’s she?" he demands, his hand running through his hair in a desperate attempt to regain control.

"She’s left. She got into a cab," an intern reports, the words hitting Jungkook like a punch to the gut.

"Fuck," he breathes, his fingers tangling in his slicked-back hair, ruining the carefully styled look. The realization crashes over him like a tidal wave—he’s losing you, and the thought sends a fresh wave of panic coursing through his veins.

"It's not that serious, Y/N. That's just how my mother talks," Jungkook says as you step into your shared apartment, the familiar space feeling more like a prison than a home. It’s decent, sure, but right now, it feels suffocating.

"Insulting and degrading me is how she talks? Because I don't see her talking to you or Yujin like that," you retort, your voice sharp and laced with hurt. Jungkook’s jaw clenches at the comparison, the tension in the room thickening as he grapples with your words.

"Maybe she's still salty about me disobeying her," he mutters, making excuses for her behavior, as if that somehow justifies the way she treats you.

"That's no fucking excuse," you snap, your voice tight, hands swinging in frustration. The anger bubbling inside you is a mix of hurt and disbelief.

"Mind how you talk to me, Y/N," he barks, turning to face you, his tone harsh and commanding.

"I'll talk however I want to, seeing that you let your mother do the same," you shoot back, watching as he freezes mid-motion, the tension palpable.

You had just returned from Jungkook’s parents' place for dinner, and it had been a nightmare. You had to bite your tongue, suppressing the snarky remarks that threatened to spill out, knowing you’d be blamed for everything regardless. The only one who had stepped in was Jungkook’s father, and while you appreciated it, it felt like a hollow gesture in the face of his mother’s relentless barbs.

"She's my mother! What do you want me to say?" he hisses, frustration etched across his face.

"I WANT YOU TO FUCKING DEFEND ME!" The words burst from your lips, raw and desperate. You rub your face, trying to rein in your emotions, lowering your tone to avoid a noise complaint. "Defend me, Jungkook. That's all I want." Your voice trembles, and you can feel the tears welling up, threatening to spill over.

"I don't want to look like a joke in front of your family every single time we visit," you continue, your heart racing as you lay bare your feelings to someone who seems to be slipping further away. "Being made a fool of, even more, when you don’t say anything."

"That’s how she is, Y/N, please," he says, defending her yet again, and it feels like a knife twisting in your gut.

"Only to me?" You place a hand on your chest, trying to emphasize your pain. "I get it; I’m not the best or perfect daughter-in-law, but does that mean I have to get insulted? It’s not like I’ve ever done anything to her." You search his eyes for understanding, but all you see is a wall. Maybe he’s just fallen out of love with you. Maybe he doesn’t care anymore.

"The problem is that you always see it from your side. You're so selfish!" And there it is—his words hit you like a slap, igniting a fire of indignation within you.

"I'm selfish? What have I ever done to be called selfish?" Tears stream down your face, but you refuse to let them silence you.

"THIS! Right here. Your bratty and victim behaviour." He throws the shirt he had on onto the bed, changing into another one, as if he can shed the weight of this conversation along with his clothes.

"You're just a coward, and you'll never grow to defend anyone, honestly. Between the two of us, you're the selfish one," you say, your voice breaking as you give up trying. You’ve fought so hard, but it’s exhausting when the other person won’t even meet you halfway.

"Say whatever you want, Y/N," he replies, his tone dismissive, never acknowledging that you might be right.

"I'm just going to sleep over at my mom's," you say, the words feeling like a surrender.

"Go ahead," he mutters, not even bothering to turn and face you. The silence that follows is deafening, a chasm of unspoken words and unresolved feelings stretching between you.

You both stand there, two people in a shared space yet feeling more alone than ever, the weight of your unaddressed pain hanging heavily in the air. As you turn to leave, you can’t shake the feeling that this might be the beginning of the end.

"You sure you’re okay? Never thought you’d come here by yourself," Jimin says, handing Jungkook a private bottle. He never expected to find himself here alone either, but things change, and feelings hurt more than he cares to admit.

"Yeah, just need some alone time," Jungkook replies, his voice flat, devoid of any life. Jimin stares at him, unsure of how to approach the situation, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily between them.

"Work?" Jimin tries, hoping to pry a little more out of him.

"Yeah. Let’s say that." Jungkook’s response is vague, and he knows he’s not convincing anyone. But Jimin doesn’t press further, even though a million questions swirl in his mind.

He feels a pang of sympathy for his friend, especially not knowing how to help. Jungkook has been quiet and standoffish lately, but tonight feels particularly off. He swears he’s fine, but the facade is crumbling, and Jimin can see it.

"I'm sorry I won’t be with you all night; I’ve got a date." Jimin feels guilty for leaving Jungkook alone in the club, but he can’t bail. It’s not like Jungkook wants company anyway.

"You’re not gonna ask me about her?" Jimin tries to lighten the mood, but Jungkook’s expression remains stoic. He wouldn’t want anything more than to drown out the running thoughts in his head. "Fine, I’ll tell you." Jimin smirks, the thought of describing you igniting a flicker of excitement in him.

"Her name’s Y/N. She’s so gorgeous, and I invited her to hang out with me for the night." The moment your name leaves Jimin’s mouth, Jungkook’s heart drops. What the fuck did he just say? Should he be pissed? The jealousy ignites within him, a burning spite that roars louder than the music in the club. But should he even feel this way? It’s been two weeks since the court incident, and he’s been hating himself since. He hopes you’re doing better than he is.

"She’s so hard to get a hold of because she’s busy with work or something," Jimin continues, oblivious to the storm brewing inside Jungkook. With each word, Jungkook feels himself slipping further into a dark place, the alcohol numbing his senses but amplifying his emotions.

"Or maybe she doesn’t want you," Jimin adds, taking a swig from his drink. Jungkook’s mind races. You and Jimin? The thought sends a wave of anger crashing over him. He hates how things went down between you two, how he’s been unable to think about anything else. He just wants to fix it so badly, but maybe going out with Jimin would make you happy.

Jungkook knows he’s the problem, and he’s understood that for some time now. But how can he show you that he’s learned and changed? Letting you go off with someone else? Maybe that’s what he deserves.

He wishes he could say something to Jimin, tell him not to do anything with his wife—you. But he’s not in a position to make demands. It would be fair to tell Jimin who you are to him, right? But the thought of it feels like a weight too heavy to bear. He lacks the mental strength to confront the reality of his feelings.

"No, she definitely wants me. I wanna dine her and wine her, treat her good, you know?" Jimin’s words grate on Jungkook’s nerves, irritation bubbling to the surface.

"Maybe you should get going," Jungkook says, his tone harsher than he intended, the frustration spilling over.

"You’re right." Jimin takes the hint, perhaps realizing he shouldn’t be talking about himself right now. "Enjoy yourself." He walks away, leaving Jungkook to wallow in his thoughts, his jaw locked and his hand tightly wrapped around his glass.

As the music thumps around him, Jungkook’s mind spirals. He can’t shake the image of you with Jimin, the thought gnawing at him like a relentless itch. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but the jealousy and regret swirl within him, a tempest he can’t escape.

Soon, he finds himself wandering around the bar, lost in a haze of emotions, searching for something—anything—to distract him from the reality of what he’s losing. The night stretches on, and with each passing moment, the weight of his choices presses down harder, leaving him feeling more alone than ever.

"Just sign here," your lawyer says, sliding the paperwork across the table to Jungkook. He feels as if the air has been sucked from the room, and he can’t breathe. He holds his breath until the reality of the moment crashes down on him, forcing him to gasp for air. It feels like he’s dying anyway, suffocating under the weight of what’s about to happen.

On the other side of the table, you haven’t been breathing since those damn papers were printed out and handed to you. You know you’ve made stupid choices in your life, but now you’re left questioning which is more foolish: marrying at such a young age or choosing to divorce Jungkook.

"So that’s it?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he drags the pen across the dotted line. He can’t bring himself to look at you, his gaze fixated on your lawyer instead. Deep down, he had a feeling this would happen, but why wasn’t he prepared to fight for you? If you were so eager to end it, maybe you didn’t want to make it work, and he wasn’t going to force you. But the bitterness of it all gnaws at him, and he can’t help but hate you for this. There’s so much he despises about himself in this moment.

"Yes," your lawyer replies, holding the papers closer, as if they’re a lifeline. A heavy, suffocating weight washes over you as you stare at Jungkook, who can’t even muster the strength to meet your gaze or try to stop you from doing this. Anger and bitterness swell within you, so overwhelming that you can’t bear to be in his presence any longer. You turn and walk out, already having taken all your things from your shared home. There’s no need to see him again.

He didn’t even fight. The words echo in your mind as your lawyer follows behind you, leading you to their car. You glance back at the entrance door, half-expecting him to come after you, to call your name, to plead with you to stay.

But he doesn’t.

Something keeps Jungkook frozen in place, hands trembling and breath coming in labored gasps. Is this how it feels to be heartbroken? He never thought it would happen, not to him, not to you two. You were each other’s first love, always together, and never had anything this grand happen before. All he can think about is how you gave up on what you had, how you threw everything away.

Selfish.

"Get a grip of yourself," Taehyung says, his eyes focused on the baby he’s rocking and feeding. "She'll cool down." Taehyung is never serious enough to grasp the gravity of things, which makes Jungkook roll his eyes so far back he might just see the moon.

"I really fucked up," he says for the hundredth time since that night, as if repeating it will somehow make it less true. "I was so selfish." The words sink deeper into his skin each time he utters them, like a bad tattoo he can’t scrub off. He had spent so long thinking it was your fault, ignoring his own feelings and the situation, never reflecting on it until now. "All she wanted was for me to care." He buries his head in his palms, closing his eyes to wallow in the darkness of his misery.

"I'm so fucking shitty," he continues, and Taehyung listens, trying to block the baby’s ears from Jungkook’s foul language. The baby coos, blissfully unaware of the emotional turmoil swirling around her.

"It’s pissing me off that this is when I’m actually seeing it. I spent so much time trying to ignore it." Jungkook can’t seem to find a comfortable position on Taehyung’s couch, shuffling around like a toddler who just drank too much juice.

"That’s why it’s good to reflect," Taehyung says, not really helping but still managing to sound wise. The baby lets out a little gurgle, and Taehyung quickly rocks her to quiet her down. His wife had gone out to buy some things and hang out with her friends, leaving Taehyung more than happy to babysit.

"But I’ve changed, haven’t I?" Jungkook stares at Taehyung, who’s clearly lost in his own world but still hears the question.

"It’s shocking," Taehyung replies, deadpan. From what he’s seen, Jungkook has definitely evolved from his childish self. His childish self would’ve either hidden under the bed, afraid of his own feelings, or yelled out in rebellion against them. Taehyung can actually see how grown his friend has become, but that doesn’t mean he’s fully synthesized maturity.

"How am I going to prove that to her?" Jungkook asks, his voice tinged with desperation.

"I don’t know," Taehyung deadpans, and Jungkook shoots him a look that could curdle milk.

"Thanks for the help, buddy," Jungkook mutters, feeling like he’s talking to a wall.

Taehyung shrugs, clearly not interested in baby-feeding Jungkook the answers. He’s just an ear, and he did his part.

"Did I tell you that Jimin invited her there, and that’s the only reason I got to see her? Fucking universe," Jungkook continues to ramble on. He’s usually quiet these days, so should Taehyung be happy that his friend is talking or antsy that he’s never shutting up?

"You did tell him?" Taehyung asks, finally meeting Jungkook’s eyes.

"No. I couldn’t. I don’t know why."

“Does she know?”

“Doubt it.”

Taehyung groans and chuckles, but low enough not to stir the baby. "Do you think they’ll..."

Jungkook lifts a brow at his friend. "What? Hook up?" The thought itches at his core, and now that he’s thinking about it, he wishes he had told Jimin. He can still call, right? "I hope fucking not," he spits out, bitterness dripping from his words.

"He doesn’t know, and you didn’t tell him, so you can’t blame them." Taehyung’s right, and it bugs Jungkook even more. He feels so stupid.

Jimin was a friend Jungkook had after your divorce, and since he never saw you, you never got to meet him. Jungkook and anyone else never talked about you, so Jimin was lost at the fact that Jungkook had been married to you, though he did know that the guy had been divorced after a drunk night of Taehyung talking nonsense.

"I’m so fucking stupid, stupid," Jungkook grumbles like a child, and Taehyung laughs, now holding the infant over his shoulder to burp her.

"Spent so many years being bitter and hating her when it was my fucking fault." The realizations keep dawning on him like a bad sitcom.

"Dick move."

"You’re not helping," Jungkook snaps, but Taehyung just laughs at the thought that he’s here to help him. Right now, he’s just playing the role of the listener so that Jungkook doesn’t look crazy for talking to himself and making these realizations. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help or advise his friend; it’s just that there’s not much he can do except listen.

"Look, I’m not on your side; I’m on the side of whatever’s gonna get you back together," Taehyung states, his tone serious for a moment.

"She won’t even talk to me, Tae," Jungkook pouts, but it goes unnoticed by his friend, who’s too busy celebrating the successful burp of the baby.

"You don’t know that," Taehyung replies, still rocking the baby gently.

"Maybe I don’t want her to," Jungkook mutters, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. "Maybe I want her to just keep ignoring me and move on with her life." Something in him wishes he could leave you alone to set you free from himself, but that was the same mindset that got him divorced in the first place. Maybe if he fought for you, you’d be in a better place. So that’s what he wants to do—fight for you this time.

"I was really such a bad husband. So stupid and naive. I’d be mad at me too," he admits, his voice heavy with regret.

Taehyung continues to walk around, rocking the baby. "Maybe instead of telling me this, you should tell her."

"She doesn’t even want to see me! How am I gonna do that?" Jungkook exclaims, throwing his hands up in exasperation. He genuinely doesn’t know, and he’s never known a foolproof plan that could help him. He’s just hoping the universe can lend a helping hand, seeing that it’s been invested in their relationship anyway.

"I don’t know, but just remember to not be a creep," Taehyung advises, a teasing grin spreading across his face.

"Thanks for the tip, Dr. Phil," Jungkook retorts, rolling his eyes. "I’ll just show up at her door with flowers and a serenade. What could go wrong?"

"Hey, if you can pull off a serenade without scaring her away, I’d pay to see that," Taehyung chuckles, and the baby lets out a tiny sound, as if she’s in on the joke.

"So how are you feeling?" Rosie asks, noticing how deeply you're staring into your coffee, as if it holds the answers to all your questions.

You continue to stir it absentmindedly, letting out a sigh. Not even the cozy warmth of the café seems to ease the turmoil inside you.

"To be honest, I don’t know," you reply, releasing an empty chuckle. All you've been thinking about is Jungkook. You’re not even sure what about him, but the fact that he occupies your mind so much is starting to annoy you. And Rosie can see it too.

"Do you think talking to him could make it better?" she asks, taking a cautious sip of her drink, her eyes searching yours for a hint of clarity.

You manage a smile and finally meet her gaze. "I don’t even want to think about talking to him."

"Yn," Rosie whines, leaning in slightly. "You need to. Not for him, but for you."

You sigh again, feeling the weight of her words. "It’s just really hard to do." You stare off into the distance, lost in thought about what you really want to do.

What is right?

"Do you think you still have feelings for him?" she treads lightly, gauging your reaction.

"I don’t know," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "Seeing him has definitely made me think a lot, but that doesn’t change anything. I don’t even know if he’s changed as a person."

"If he has, would you get back with him?" She raises a brow, fully focused on you now, her curiosity piqued.

You throw her an undecided look, your brow furrowing in confusion.

A smile grows on her face. "You would, wouldn’t you?" she laughs, and you shake your head, letting out a nervous laugh of your own.

You're blushing, and it feels like a betrayal to your own feelings.

"I never said that," you protest, trying to sound firm but failing to hide the uncertainty in your voice.

"It’s not about what you said; it’s about what you’ve shown," she counters, her tone teasing yet insightful.

With a shrug and a heavy silence, the conversation hangs in the air. You’ve been asking yourself that same question too, and honestly, you aren’t sure of the answer. You just don’t want to think about it at all.

"I'd love to, Tae, thank you," you reply, your voice a little shaky. Taehyung called you unexpectedly, and when you saw his name flash on your screen, a wave of anxiety washed over you. Part of you feared he was calling to ask about what happened between you and Jungkook, and you honestly wouldn’t know where to begin if that were the case. So, you’re relieved when he doesn’t bring it up.

"When?" you ask, trying to sound casual, but your heart races. You never thought he was serious about the dinner plans he made, let alone that he would actually remember them. But he did, and once he got the chance, he made sure to reserve a table for four and call you over. He didn’t mention the reservation for four part, though; he probably thought it would be better to let you find out when you arrived, so you wouldn’t run away.

"Will Sunday be good for you?" he asks, his voice sounding professional, which makes you assume he’s at work. It’s Wednesday, so that makes sense.

"Yeah, sounds perfect," you agree, feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety bubbling in your stomach. It’s just you, Taehyung, and his wife—there’s really nothing to be anxious about, right?

As Sunday approaches, you find yourself in a bit of a panic. It’s one of those fancy restaurants, and the exceptional service is only proof of how upscale it is. You struggle to find something decent to wear, your nerves making it hard to focus. After a good search in Rosie’s closet, you finally find the perfect dress. Perfect for who? You, of course.

Rosie is a little skeptical about you going to dinner with Taehyung, but you explain that he’s still a good friend and you wouldn’t want to decline the offer because that would offend him. Plus, it’s not like you don’t want to be there; you don’t mind. After all, it’s Jungkook who’s the problem, not Taehyung.

She reluctantly accepts your reasoning, but along with her questions, she expresses her concern that Jungkook might be there. That’s a point of contention. You swear to her that Jungkook wouldn’t be there, and she swears that he would. You don’t want to acknowledge the idea, but the fear of the possibility still lingers. If Jungkook was going to be there, Taehyung would have mentioned it, right?

As you walk into the restaurant, the server gestures for you to hand him your jacket, and you do so, your hands trembling slightly. He then directs you to the table where you’ll be seated once you tell him the name the reservation is under.

You walk through the room, your long, form-fitting dress hugging your curves. The rich red color complements your skin beautifully, and you can’t help but feel a little more confident. You really like this dress and doubt you’ll be giving it back. The thin straps rest delicately on your shoulders, and the straight neckline keeps your chest modest yet elegant. You hope you’re not over or underdressed.

When you finally spot Taehyung, he nods over to you, and you let out a sigh of relief, realizing you’re neither under nor overdressed. His wife is wearing a cream satin dress, but you can’t determine the length since she’s seated and hidden by the table. Taehyung has a warm smile on his face, dressed in a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up, looking effortlessly charming. You walk toward them with a smile and a little excitement bubbling inside you.

That’s until Taehyung turns to talk to someone else. His wife is sitting on his other side, so if it’s not her he’s talking to, then…

Your body freezes for a second, and you contemplate turning around right now. The door isn’t so far away; you could make a run for it. You can feel your joints go rigid, but somehow, you find your way back to your chair. You let out a sigh as you take your seat, trying to shake off the tension. Jungkook had wanted to pull your chair out for you, but you brushed him off, and he was polite enough to accept your refusal.

You try to contain the rapid beating of your heart, which is now racing because of the unexpected presence of the man sitting next to you. Straightening your back and rubbing your palms together, you attempt to maintain the light and warm ambiance at the table. The last thing you want is for Jungkook’s presence to affect how you present yourself tonight.

Turning to greet Taehyung’s wife, Jian, you feel a flicker of relief since she’s the only one at the table you’re not annoyed with. Taehyung really brought you here knowing Jungkook would be here too. Was he in on it, or did he come here unaware of your presence? Are you both being set up right now? Is this some sort of intervention? You’re aware of how much Taehyung likes you and Jungkook together, and while you appreciate his concern, some things are just meant to be forgotten, buried.

“How are you?” you ask Jian, trying to sound cheerful despite the turmoil inside you. She greets you back with the same enthusiasm.

“You look so beautiful! How’s the baby?” You couldn’t help but ask; something about the doctor in you wanted to know.

“Perfect. My mom’s been a huge help,” she replies, her bright smile lighting up her face as she gracefully brushes her long, straight hair out of her eyes.

“That’s lovely,” you say, genuinely pleased for her.

“You look gorgeous too,” she compliments, and you can’t help but feel your cheeks heat up, a blush creeping in.

“I try,” you respond, attempting to stay modest. You don’t think you’re all that, but you do make an effort from time to time. Jungkook, on the other hand, would disagree; he thinks (knows) you look good in whatever you choose to wear, even when you don’t try. However, he’s not going to argue that you look stunning tonight. He could barely keep his eyes off you as you walked to the table. You couldn’t see him, but he could see you, and you looked great. He wanted to die, but Taehyung had to remind him to pull himself together.

It was then that your body shifted from fluid to solid. You had noticed him, and you didn’t seem happy at all. Jungkook felt a pang in his chest when you stopped him from pulling your chair out for you. He’s not going to blame you for it, though.

“It’s nice to see you out of your scrubs,” Taehyung says, and you can’t help but lower your eyes at him. He notices your glare and understands the reason for it. The little smirk he gives you makes you want to smack him right across the face. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

You chuckle, but it’s bitter.

“I’m sorry if I kept you all waiting,” you apologize, playing with your fingers as they rest in your lap. They hadn’t ordered yet, probably waiting for you, and your overthinking takes over, soon turning into guilt. You did try your best to get here on time, and you did, but you still say it anyway. Maybe it’s your internal tactic to lessen your nerves.

“No, you didn’t. Jungkook just came before you,” Taehyung says, clearly eager to push the agenda.

When he remembered he wanted to make plans for dinner, he told Jungkook and planned on bringing him too so they could talk. But right now, Jungkook looks like he’s going to lose his head, his eyes glued to the menu like a child.

“Mm,” is all you can manage as the awkwardness begins to grow, thickening the air around you. You can feel Jungkook’s presence beside you, and it’s both comforting and unsettling. You steal a glance at him, and he’s still focused on the menu, but you can sense the tension radiating off him.

The conversation around the table continues, but you find it hard to engage. Your mind is racing, and you can’t shake the feeling that this dinner is about to take a turn you’re not prepared for. You take a sip of your drink, hoping it will calm your nerves, but it only amplifies the fluttering in your stomach.

"She's such a good and peaceful baby, honestly," Jian exclaims with joy, and you can’t help but smile at how happy she is to talk about her little one. Taehyung stares at her, completely enamored with everything about her.

"I think she takes that from Jian," he adds, and laughter fills the air as everyone agrees. Between the couple, Jian is definitely the more relaxed and laid-back one. It’s funny how in your relationship with Jungkook, it had been the opposite. He was the laid-back one while you were the more outgoing, which is one of the reasons you got along so well with Taehyung. But for some reason, in this situation where you’d normally be talkative and engaged, you feel off and out of it. Jungkook notices your silence and curses himself for even coming; he feels like he’s ruined your night. He should have just left. Or not come at all.

You all order your food, each of you choosing what you want. You’re not entirely sure about some of the items on the menu, but the only person you could ask is the one you’re trying to avoid speaking to. So, you go for something you think will go best with how you’re feeling tonight.

Soon, the food arrives, one by one. Jungkook watches as your plate is placed in front of you. It’s not because he envies the meal—though it does look good—but because of the yellow garnishes on top that you hadn’t noticed. Just before the plate touches the table, Jungkook intercepts. “These have pineapples on them?” he asks the waiter, his tone serious.

“Yes, sir, it’s used for garnishing,” the waiter replies, and you watch as Jungkook investigates the young man, his face stern and his tone confident.

“Please bring her one without pineapples; she’s allergic,” he insists, and that’s all you can think about. Your heart flutters at how he remembers something about you, or maybe it’s just the effect of being close to pineapples.

How could he forget? Just because you aren’t together doesn’t mean he’s going to forget everything about you. How could he forget the little things about you that kept him up all night?

“You’re still allergic, right?” he asks, and you nod, finally acknowledging his presence for the first time during the night. You hadn’t realized that the meal you ordered was garnished with fancy-cut pineapples that you never would have noticed. You appreciate that he remembered and was able to spot it; otherwise, the night would have been even worse.

The way he stares at you, worry coating his eyes, makes you want to melt. You’ve just realized how much you missed this part of Jungkook—the one who would lead and speak out for you, the one who got you through those high school days.

“Sure, I’ll be right back,” the waiter says, bowing slightly before walking away with your plate.

Before your eyes move to your lap, they land on Jungkook, who’s staring right into them and welcoming them with a smile. You quickly look away, clearing your throat, feeling a rush of heat flood your cheeks.

Fuck, does he want to make this harder for you? Why is this so much more difficult than it should be? Your heart hasn’t stopped racing since you saw him, and you wish you could just pull it out and burn it. Why the hell is it beating so fast around him?

“That would’ve been bad,” you awkwardly chuckle, and Jungkook hums, feeling warmth engulf him. It’s a warmth mixed with a little confidence—the confidence to talk to you. Though he doesn’t show it, Jungkook is no better. He can feel his collared shirt grow tighter, even with one button undone. It’s as if he’s not comfortable in his own skin and just wants to rip out of it and beg you to talk to him. It’s tiring to just play it cool.

You wait for your food, and as you do, you notice that Jungkook hasn’t touched his. He’s simply looking around, not doing a very good job of it.

You want to lecture him, tell him to just eat—that’s what you’d do if you were still together. But you’re not, and the thought makes your heart go rigid. Why is it that the thought of not being with Jungkook is the only thing that stops your beating heart?

You feel bad. Maybe you’re being too difficult, and you’re a little harsh with him. Are you being too harsh? Or just looking out for yourself? Even through that, it doesn’t stop you from ignoring him. Even if you wanted to talk to him, what would you say?

The silence stretches between you, thick and heavy, and you can feel the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. You glance at Jungkook again, and for a moment, your eyes meet. There’s a flicker of something in his gaze—an unspoken question, a longing, perhaps. It makes your heart race even faster, and you quickly look away, focusing on the tablecloth instead. The intricate patterns seem to swirl and dance, a distraction from the tension that’s building between you.

The waiter returns with your new plate, setting it down gently in front of you. “Here you go, one without pineapples,” he says, and you offer him a grateful smile. Jungkook watches as you pick up your fork, and you can feel his eyes on you, a weight that both comforts and unnerves you.

“Thank you,” you say softly, and for a moment, you think you see a hint of relief in Jungkook’s expression. It’s fleeting, but it’s there, and it makes you wonder if he’s been holding his breath this whole time.

“So Jungkook won his case,” Taehyung says after a moment, clearing the air for a new topic. It’s something you don’t want to think about, but you can’t help but feel a flicker of pride for him.

“That’s nice,” Jian replies, and you nod in agreement. You’re genuinely glad he won. It’s nice that at least he’s helping other people, even if it doesn’t fix your own relationship.

“And I heard a special someone had something to do with it,” Taehyung adds cheekily, his gaze shifting to you. You roll your eyes with a light chuckle, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement. He’s really going hard at it.

“Tae, shut up,” Jungkook snaps, his cheeks flushing slightly. “Maybe if I throw a stick, he’d leave,” he whispers, and you can’t help but laugh at that. Jungkook lifts his eyes to you, listening to the sound of your melodious chuckle that he never realized he missed. Seeing you laugh at his joke gives him a little more confidence about all of this, a glimmer of hope.

“It was fine being in court for something other than—” you start, but then you cut off your statement, not finding it appropriate to finish. Thankfully, no one decides to question you on it, and you’re relieved. Jungkook knows you well, and having been there, he understands what the end of that sentence would sound like.

“But at the end, it got really suffocating,” you smirk, knowing only Jungkook would get it. He shifts in his seat, moving a little closer to you, and you can feel the warmth radiating from him.

“I’m sorry about that again,” he says, his eyes focused on you, but you can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. Instead, you use your peripheral vision to watch his features soften as he speaks.

“Lawyers are heartless,” you say in a light-hearted tone, the words feeling directed at Jungkook, but he’ll never know that.

You all laugh, the sound filling the space between you, but it feels different now—charged with unspoken words and lingering emotions.

“Not our Kookie, though,” Taehyung chimes in, grinning. “Very un-heartless.”

You chuckle, but there’s a weight to your words. “Yeah, very.” You finally turn your eyes to meet Jungkook’s, and in that moment, your words feel empty, but your eyes aren’t. They hold a depth of feeling that you can’t quite articulate, a mixture of nostalgia, longing, and something else—something you’re not ready to name.

Jungkook’s expression shifts as he holds your gaze, and for a heartbeat, the world around you fades away. It’s just the two of you, caught in a moment that feels both familiar and foreign. You can see the flicker of emotions in his eyes, and it makes your heart race.

After some time, Jungkook just decides to say fuck it. He can talk to a large crowd, but with you, he feels paralyzed. You’re just one person—one person with his heart on the line. He knows he has to say something to you, and he just hopes you’re open to talking.

Do you even feel anything? Are you feeling the way he is? Does he have an effect on you like you have on him? Because if you don’t, then he’s going to feel like a fool. He just hopes you feel the same way. In high school, you were the one worried if he felt the same, but now it’s him.

After all, you could have moved on. You could be better and not need him. But unlike the image of you he has in his mind, he’s not okay. Not okay with this distance. He hates it.

“How are you enjoying your food?” he asks, turning to you while Taehyung and Jian talk about whatever.

“Good, it’s nice to come out once in a while,” you reply. It’s not a one-word answer, and he’ll take it. Is it his imagination, or do you seem interested in talking to him?

“How often are you busy?” he gulps, “with work, of course.” He sounds stupid and nervous, but you find it cute. Why do you find it cute? It’s really hard not to feel this way about someone you already know so well.

“Enough to make me want to pluck my eyes out,” you laugh, and he smiles. Even though you don’t make eye contact with him, he can feel you warming up to him. “But recently, work has been light,” you add, talking to him like you would when he asked you about your classes in high school.

“You like it?” he asks, hoping it’s not weird, but he can’t take his eyes off you. He just can’t.

“I do,” you reply, and he feels his heart thaw like frozen meat.

“T—that’s good,” he stammers, taking a bite of his food to stop the smile that threatens to spread across his face.

All of this is nice, but you can’t help but feel overwhelmed. You feel confused. Is he just talking to you because you’re the only one he has to talk to, or is he actually interested? It’s like being promised something only for the promise to be broken. You don’t want to get your hopes up. Not again.

“Please, excuse me,” you say, your head held down as you stand up from the table.

“Sure,” he replies, but soon grows worried. He brushes it off, telling himself he’s overthinking it. It’s going well; you’re talking to him, and that’s what matters. Baby steps.

You leave for the bathroom, needing some air that isn’t filled with Jungkook’s scent, which is now engraved in your sinuses and will probably haunt you. While in the bathroom, you pull out your phone and text Jimin, asking if you’re still on for later. You had made plans with him, and you did want to go, but now that you’re staring at the text, you wonder if what you’re doing is right.

It’s not like you and Jungkook are getting back together, and whatever this is between you two feels complicated. It just feels wrong. Maybe you should just cancel. Jimin’s a good guy, though, and he doesn’t deserve this. It’s better for him to find someone who’s sure and knows what she wants—not you, sitting in the bathroom contemplating where you and your ex stand.

“Stop being so awkward, man,” Taehyung says, playfully pulling at Jungkook’s leg under the table.

“I’m trying,” Jungkook whines, his frustration evident. “It’s hard.”

“You can talk up a whole court, but you can’t with Y/N?” Taehyung teases, raising an eyebrow.

“Plus, it’s not that hard,” Jian chimes in, pulling Jungkook’s attention away from his spiraling thoughts. She should be the only one he takes advice from, he thinks. “Just show up and put in effort in the conversation, and she’ll warm up to you.”

“See how she warmed up to you when you asked about her work?” Taehyung adds, and Jungkook starts to get it. “All Y/N wants is for you to show up and be there to listen and care.” Taehyung feels like a relationship counsellor right now; he should get paid for this. If their relationship works out, Jungkook should definitely pay him.

Jian places a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder to shut him up, a knowing smile on her face. “But don’t forget to be the guy she fell in love with,” she adds, her tone serious yet encouraging.

Jungkook sighs, feeling the weight of their words. He knows he needs to be himself, the version of him that made you smile, the one who could make you laugh until your sides hurt. But the fear of messing things up again looms over him like a dark cloud.

“I think I’ll get that one,” you say, pointing at the dish you’ve chosen.

“Alright,” the waiter notes it down, his pen scratching against the notepad.

Jungkook leans in closer, a playful glint in his eyes. “They have banana pudding on the menu,” he whispers, knowing how much you love it.

“Really?” Your face lights up with excitement as you turn to the waiter. “How good is your banana pudding?”

“The best,” he boasts with a confident grin.

“Then I’ll have that instead,” you say, your smile widening as you place your order.

Once the waiter walks away, you glance back at Jungkook, who has been momentarily distracted by the pianist playing softly in the corner. But as soon as he feels your gaze on him, his eyes shift to meet yours. The moment feels electric, and you find yourself wanting to look away, but you hold your ground, challenging yourself to stay connected.

Jungkook watches you softly, waiting for you to speak. “You remember how much I like banana pudding?” you ask, your voice light and teasing. It feels a bit childish, and you want to slap yourself for it, but Jungkook seems to be enjoying this playful banter.

“Of course,” he replies, his familiar bunny smile spreading across his face. “Remember that time you almost killed me for eating the last one?”

You burst into laughter, the memory flooding back. “You should’ve known better,” you say, shaking your head in mock disapproval.

“I should’ve,” he admits, chuckling along with you.

Taehyung, sitting across the table, can’t help but feel giddy as he watches the two of you smile at each other. It’s like a scene from a romantic movie, and he’s here for it. The atmosphere around the table feels lighter, filled with warmth and nostalgia.

“Y/N, how did you travel?” Jian asks, reminding you that the night has to come to an end.

“Uber,” you reply, a hint of reluctance in your voice.

“So you’re going back with an Uber?” she clarifies, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” you say, because what other options do you have?

Taehyung turns to look at Jungkook, who seems as lost as ever. “Maybe Jungkook can drop you off,” he suggests, a hopeful tone in his voice.

Why hadn’t you thought of that? You smile sheepishly at the idea, but it makes you sweat a little. “No, I’m good. Don’t want to burden you,” you say, trying to brush it off.

“You’re not a burden,” Jungkook says immediately, his voice firm as he hears you call yourself that. You’d never be a burden to him. “Plus, it’s late, and Ubers aren’t all that safe. Let me drive you home.”

You want to say, “How sure are you that you’ll be safe with him?” but it would just sound stupid. Jungkook has never once made you feel unsafe. In fact, the thought of being alone with him feels comforting. It’d be a good chance to save some money—or more like have more time with Jungkook. “Okay, sure,” you say, not wanting to argue.

“My car’s over there,” Jungkook points to the opposite side of the parking lot, and you realize you should probably say your goodbyes now.

“It was nice seeing you, Y/N,” Jian says as she pulls you into a hug. She hopes you and Jungkook get back together so that she can spend more time with you.

“Nice to see you too,” you hug her back. “Say hi to the baby for me.”

“If she’ll understand,” Jian laughs.

“I’m sure Taehyung will communicate,” you throw Taehyung a side-eye, and he narrows his eyes back at you, feigning offense.

He hugs you tightly. “Thanks for coming,” he says, and the embrace gives you flashbacks of the time he hugged you at the hospital.

You pat his back. “No problem. I enjoyed it.”

“I’ll call you; please don’t avoid me,” he says, his voice earnest.

You raise your hands in defense. “I never do.” But as you think about it, would you ignore him if he called? It would be weird, right? Especially not knowing where you and Jungkook are going. If you and Jungkook don’t work out (you can’t believe you’re even thinking about it), does that mean you wouldn’t have to talk to Taehyung or Jian again?

“Goodnight, bro,” Taehyung says to Jungkook.

“Goodnight,” Jungkook replies.

“Take her straight home, okay?” Taehyung lifts a warning finger to Jungkook, and you and he scoff.

“Taehyung, let’s go,” Jian says, pulling him away, and you all laugh. If Taehyung hadn’t pushed Jungkook, would he even be in this position? A position of opportunity to make up for everything or at least show you that he’s trying.

Once the goodbyes are over, you walk to Jungkook’s car, and you can’t help but bulge your eyes at how beautiful it is. He opens the door for you. “Thank you,” you say politely. Just when you think he’s about to close the door, he leans in.

“I’m sorry, can I take a call?” he asks, and the height difference, along with the way he looks down at you, makes you want to melt into a puddle.

“Don’t let me stop you,” you manage to say, trying to keep up with your racing mind.

You watch him walk in front of the car and further away. You can’t help but wonder who could be on the other end. Work? Taehyung? Or maybe a girlfriend? You never did find out if he’s single or if he’s been out. You’re sure he has. It’s not like you weren’t. But you feel the same type of incompletion when you spend time with other people.

The thought of him talking to some girlfriend right now sends a swarm of moths fluttering in your stomach. You won’t ask; it’s none of your business.

No matter how much your mind wanders, you can’t deny that you’re ogling how huge Jungkook has gotten. His shoulders, his muscles, which his shirt does a bad job of hiding. He’s built like he eats, sleeps, and drinks the gym. And damn, you’re getting flustered just by looking at him.

Watching how he talks on the phone, how he places his tattooed hand into his pocket, makes him look so incredibly hot. Wait, tattoos? How did you miss them? You squint to get a closer look. He actually does have them, and they make him even more attractive.

What’s wrong with you? Get it together. You’re literally drooling. When you laugh at yourself, it must have been loud because Jungkook turns to look at you. You smile, trying to prove to him that you’re okay, and he smiles back. Why do you feel so giddy? It’s just a smile.

You allow him to finish his call, which doesn’t last long. He walks back to the car, sliding into the driver’s seat, his thighs constricting against the material of his pants.

“You ready to go?” he asks, his voice low and casual, but you can feel the tension in the air.

“Yeah,” you reply, your throat suddenly dry.

He starts the car, and the engine’s purr matches the rhythm of your racing heart. As you drive through the city, the night lights paint your face in a soft glow, and you take a moment to admire the view outside the window. The city feels alive, vibrant, and you can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia wash over you.

Jungkook glances over at you, his gaze lingering a moment longer than necessary. “You look great tonight,” he says, almost too quietly, but you catch it. His fingers drum against the steering wheel, a nervous habit you’ve come to recognize.

“Thanks,” you say, feeling your cheeks heat up, but the red light from the traffic stop hides it well.

“You still have that necklace?” he asks, his eyes flicking to the dainty silver chain around your neck.

“Yeah, it’s nice,” you reply, instinctively holding onto it a little longer. He had gotten it for you during your honeymoon phase, but you stopped wearing it when your relationship got rocky. You hadn’t even realized you put it on for tonight.

“I enjoyed seeing you tonight,” he says, his heart pounding as he takes a chance. He did enjoy being in your presence, but did you feel the same? He can’t help but question where you stand. Do you want what he does? But he can’t ask.

Your focus drifts back to the window as you enjoy the ambiance of his car. How many women has he had in here? Were they just as at peace as you are right now? You don’t like to bother yourself with the thought, but your brain and heart are in tandem, and they won’t let it go.

The thought of him being with someone else ignites a flicker of jealousy within you. You breathe in and out, trying to calm yourself. You can’t be upset; it’s not your place. You’ve never considered yourself a jealous person. You were always sure of Jungkook’s love for you, and so was he. So there wasn’t much to be jealous of. But once your marriage and relationship began to falter, you doubted everything—the kisses, the touches, the time spent together, the ‘I love you’s. It all became foggy, the memories a blur.

And it wasn’t because they weren’t there or that you didn’t still feel deeply for him, but because there was no one to assure you they actually existed. Were you lying to yourself about Jungkook’s love? Was he lying to you?

Why would he marry you then?

You had no anchor to keep you there, only questions—questions that would never be answered at the time and questions you’d never bring yourself to ask now.

“We don’t have to talk, you know,” you say, the sentence coming out in a whisper, laced with fear, not anger. Fear that if you talk, you might end up saying more than you want to.

So, he just drives. The silence and tension consume you like fire. Not even Jimin’s text asking when he can pick you up can bring you any joy that it would have if Jungkook never existed. But he does; he exists so vividly, like a looming cloud carrying the sign of a storm—a storm that’s about to consume all the walls you’ve been building for the past four years.

Jimin: When can I pick you up?

Jungkook sees you stare at your phone like you’re about to throw it out the window. He wants to ask who you’re talking to that’s got your face in a knot, but he chooses to keep his eyes on the road this time. He can only imagine who’s texting you at this hour. Jimin? He grips the wheel tighter.

Y/N: Don’t.

Jimin: ???

Y/N: Don’t come.

Y/N: You’re a great guy, Jimin. And I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone who’s in a more stable place for you. But it’s not me. I’m really sorry. I enjoyed my time with you, but I just have a lot going on.

Jimin: An ex?

You pause and glance at Jungkook, who has one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the window sill. He doesn’t turn back to look at you.

You: I guess so.

Not really, more like just yourself.

You: I’m really sorry I got you into this. You’re a good guy.

Jimin: You’re good too. Thanks for not leading me on.

Jimin: Wish you the best.

You feel sick. You and Jimin hadn’t gone far, barely held hands . But he was hoping for more, and you feel terrible for it. You liked him; he was definitely someone you’d go for if, well… if the man driving you home right now wasn’t so much on your mind.

You: You too.

The temperature in the car shifts drastically. One moment, you’re comfortable in the warmth of the moment, and the next, you feel a chill creeping in, as if the universe is reminding you that this night is coming to an end. Just a little longer, you think. You want to hold onto this feeling, this connection, but you know it’s fleeting.

“Thanks for driving,” you say as you pull into your apartment complex, trying to break the silence that feels heavier than before.

“Not a problem,” Jungkook replies, his voice steady, but you can sense the tension beneath it. The night is over, right? It’s over. When you leave now, you’ll never see him again. Good. It’s good, right?

But it’s not over for him. As you walk toward your building, you turn to find him following closely behind you.

“Where are you going?” you ask, half-expecting him to say he has a girlfriend living in the same building that he wants to visit, and that’s the only reason he even drove you here. Your mind races with insecurities.

“Walking you up to your apartment,” he says, his tone firm yet gentle. He looks nervous, and you can see it in the way he fidgets with his hands.

“I’ll be fine,” you insist, pulling your coat closer to your body as you watch him stand there, not budging.

Just as you have a stare-down, the bush to your far left stirs. Someone stumbles out, clearly intoxicated, struggling to stand. The universe must not be on your side. The neighborhood doesn’t have drunkards roaming around much, or ever. But tonight, it seems, must be your lucky day.

You turn to Jungkook, and he gives you a look that tells you he’s not backing down.

“For my peace of mind?” he asks, his voice softening, and it almost makes you want to give in.

“Fine,” you relent, feeling a mix of annoyance and gratitude.

With the same tension and silence, you both step into the elevator to your place. As the numbers light up, Jungkook speaks, “This is a nice place.” He genuinely seems to admire it, and you can tell he’s trying to make conversation. It’s good to know you’re in a safe place.

“Yeah,” you reply, but your mind is racing. What kind of place does he live in? A mansion? A penthouse? Or just a simple apartment? What’s his décor like if he ever got that far?

The elevator dings, and the doors slide open. You step out, and Jungkook follows closely behind. The hallway feels long, and the silence stretches between you, thick with unspoken words.

You tap in your code and step into your warm space, the familiar scent of home wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. Still standing by the door is Jungkook, and still holding the door open is you. Is this what you two have become? Cowards. Liars. Pretenders?

“Um, I guess this is goodnight,” you say, your eyes glued to the hinges, avoiding the weight of his gaze. How long are you going to hold on?

“I guess so,” he replies, his voice distant as he stares into your home absentmindedly. You can feel the tension thickening the air between you, and it’s suffocating. Jungkook knows he won’t get another chance to see you again if he leaves without saying anything. There’s only so far the universe can go for him.

“Can I talk to you, though?” he asks, his voice softer now, almost pleading.

You sigh, feeling the familiar frustration bubbling up. “Not this again, Jungkook.” Isn’t this what you want, though? For him to talk, to communicate? What are you fighting?

“It’s alright that your friend grilled me in court; you don’t have to apologize,” you add, trying to keep your tone steady.

“It’s not fine,” he insists, his eyes narrowing slightly, determination flickering in his gaze. “He shouldn’t have. He was just trying to poke at me, and it’s not fair that you had to be in the middle.”

You don’t speak, mainly because you want to see how far this will go and how much he has to say. You can feel the weight of his words hanging in the air, and you’re not sure if you want to catch them or let them fall.

“I know I’ve been a shithouse of a guy to you, especially in the past,” he continues, his voice cracking slightly. “But I’ve changed, Y/N, and I hope you can see that.”

Do you? Do you see how his walls break down to welcome you? He could get on his knees to show you, and the thought sends a shiver down your spine. He holds onto your door for stability, as if it’s the only thing keeping him grounded.

“Jungkook…” you start, but the words get caught in your throat. You want to believe him, to see the change he claims to have made, but the scars of the past are still fresh in your mind.

“Just hear me out,” he urges, his voice low and earnest. “I know I messed up. I know I hurt you, and I can’t take that back. But I want to try. I want to be better for you, for us. I miss you, Y/N. I miss us.”

"A lot of things should have been done differently by me in our relationship and i acknowledge that." When he finishes his sentences, he looks at you. He’s eyes are filled with anger but not to you, to the memory of that day and all the guilt he feels.

"Thank you." You don’t know what more to say, it’s not your turn to talk. So, you just hold your arms to your body.

"It's what I should’ve done, its what I always should've done." He bows his head. He gives up on holding back. He’s tired, and it’s fucked for him to hide from his solace.

Sniffle.

If it’s not you he can cry to, then who?

"Jungkook,-" your heart sinks when you hear him sniffle. He’s crying. You can be distant all you want but you can’t take seeing him cry.

You close the space between you and cup his cheek. You’re tired of fighting too.

He leans into your touch and slowly wraps his hand around your wrist, praying you keep it right there.

His wide eyes stare down at you filled with tears that threaten to fall.

"I'm sorry yn. I'm really sorry and I wish I could go back in time and Change things and be better for you, for us." They fall, yours too.

"I wasn't good and I understand why you did what you did.” He doesn’t even want to call by name. “It was me, I was the selfish one and I regret it." he pulls your hand to bring it to his lips and place a kiss on your pulse. "I regret it so fucking bad yn"

"come here.” you pull him inside and shut the door.

“I was so was stupid. And I feel shitty for even trying to justify it but I was stupid.  And a dick." He kisses your wrist as you use your other hand to push back the hair that sticks to his tear stained face.

"We were both stupid." You won’t say you didn’t have your bad moments.

"Not you. You were always right and I wish I listened to you and maybe we'd be in a better position."

He closes into you, bringing your foreheads together. Instincts. You just have to do what feels natural.

"Maybe"

“Definitely,” he whispers, brushing his nose against yours, and your mouth parts instinctively. “I’m really sorry, bunny. I really am.”

The nickname he used when you were together hangs in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what once was. It used to make your heart race, but now it feels like a ghost of a feeling you can’t quite grasp anymore.

your mind has no clue where to place its home.

You breathe in the warmth of each other’s presence, lips hovering just a breath apart, the tension palpable. He gently pulls your wrist behind you, guiding your arm to wrap around his neck, while his hand finds its place on your waist. Your palm rests against his heart, feeling its frantic rhythm, a silent plea for connection. You’re wrinkling his shirt, but it’s the last thing on his mind.

His gaze is locked onto your lips, a silent yearning begging to be fulfilled. What’s stopping him? Is this what you want? Do you want him back like he wants you? The questions swirl in your mind, a tempest of doubt and desire. Have you thought about him every single day since you last saw each other? No—since the day you divorced. Did you ever truly stop thinking about the moments you shared? The late-night kisses, the laughter, the way you both craved each other’s presence like air.

His lower lip brushes against yours, and a shiver runs down your spine, igniting a flicker of longing deep within you. “I want to kiss you so bad,” he pleads, his voice thick with emotion. “Can I kiss you?”

A nod is all you can produce. You want to, you’re pulled to.

And so, he does. The moment your lips meet, it’s like a wave of relief crashing over you. He’s your relief, your solace in a world that feels chaotic and uncertain. As your lips intertwine, you wish for nothing more than to stay in this moment forever, to linger in the warmth of his embrace.

You taste exactly as he remembers—like peace, if peace had a flavor. Sweet and intoxicating, he doesn’t want to part from you. He deepens the kiss, pulling you even closer by your waist, and your hand crumples his shirt tighter, as if anchoring yourself to him.

God, you missed this. You missed him. A tear rolls down your cheek, a mix of joy and sorrow, a release of all the pent-up emotions you’ve been holding back.

But then, as if the universe is cruelly reminding you of reality, he pulls away. for a kiss that was supposed to give you an answer it brings more doubt.

The air thick with unspoken words.

“I missed you so much."

You would say you have been the confused type. From what your university major should be to who you want to be, you’ve never known. The path ahead has always felt murky, a winding road with no clear destination. But one thing you did know was that you wanted to be with Jungkook.

That's what younger you wanted anyway.

The dreams you spun in your mind were filled with laughter, love, and the warmth of his embrace. But now, as you sit here, grappling with the weight of adulthood, you find yourself asking what the adult version of you truly wants.

Amidst all the turmoil, what you really desire is to be happy—to be set free from the guilt of your previous choices. You want to shed the layers of regret that have built up over the years, the “what ifs” that haunt your thoughts like shadows.

Younger you always thought Jungkook would be the one to give you that happiness. You really wanted him to be that. The thought of his smile, the way he made you feel alive, filled you with hope. But now, as you reflect on everything that has transpired, you’d be lying to yourself if you said the thought of being with him again didn’t scare you.

The fear is palpable, a tight knot in your stomach. What if you opened your heart to him again, only to find that the past still lingers, that the wounds haven’t healed? What if the love you once shared has transformed into something unrecognizable? The idea of vulnerability feels daunting, and the stakes seem higher now than they ever were before.

You think about the late-night conversations, the dreams you shared, and the way he used to look at you as if you were the only person in the world. But you also remember the pain, the misunderstandings, and the way everything fell apart. It’s a delicate balance, and you’re not sure if you’re ready to tip the scales in either direction.

As you sit in the quiet of your thoughts, you realize that the journey to happiness isn’t just about finding the right person; it’s about finding yourself first. You need to understand what you truly want, independent of anyone else. Can you be happy on your own? Can you forgive yourself for the choices you’ve made?

Maybe all you need is to forgive yourslef and him.

The questions swirl in your mind, and you know that the answers won’t come easily. But one thing is clear: you owe it to yourself to face the truth.

Maybe it’s time to take a step back and reflect on what you need, not just what you want. You need to find your own happiness, to reclaim your identity outside of Jungkook and the love you once shared.

And yet, as you think about him, a flicker of hope ignites within you. Perhaps there’s a way to navigate this complicated landscape, to find a balance between your past and your present. Maybe, just maybe, you can rediscover the love you once had, but this time with a clearer understanding of who you are and what you truly want. But the hope is only a maere flicker of light. not enough to brighten the darkenss you've been swallowed into.

“i don’t think can.” You cry on Rosie’s lap as she pets your hair. She just listens.

“And you don’t have to.”

You sob.

“why did he have to come back.” You’ve been this confused in a while. During the years you were sure you hated jungkook. But now you realize you were just sad. Why did he have to come back into your life and why did he have to kiss you.

“you don’t have to get back with him.” She repeats.

“ I know. But why do i want to but not want to again.”

“it’s because you’re just a little hopeful.” You are aren’t you? “is that so bad.”

Rosie shakes her head when your teary eyes look up at her. “nope. He was the love of your life. Your freaking first one.”

“But it’s time to grow up.”

Even if you did work it out, how the hell would you marry him again. Would you even get as far as to marrying again. You'd hate to get back together only to fail again.

How would you face his parents. And what if they still hate you. How would you go on.

It really is time to grow up.

“Thanks for coming.” You smile.

"No problem.” He pulls out his chair, the sound of it scraping against the floor echoing.

you planned on having a simple conversation in a cafe. which makes it easier for both of you to leave if things get awkward.

“Honestly, I never expected you to reach out.” The words slip out,.

You had planned to ghost him, to just forget everything. But after talking to Rosie, she encouraged you to talk to him. To seek closure instead of running away. You'd be missing the point if you did ghost him.

“Just need to get some stuff off my chest.” You chuckle awkwardly, the air stiffens immediately after.

Jungkook’s eyes widen, his heart racing at the possible implication of your words.

Before you can gather your thoughts, he cuts in, “I just want to apologize for kissing you that night.”

You shake your head, nostalgia and discomfort washing over you. Why does the memory of that moment feel weird now? “You don’t have to. I wanted it too.” you can't help but feel guilty for it. “Um, I just wanted to clear something up about that too.”

“I feel like I told you something I shouldn’t have that night.” His brow furrows in confusion, and you can see the gears turning in his mind. “I won’t lie; I did miss the feeling, but it also felt like a lie.”

He taps his fingers nervously on his thigh.

“What do you mean?” he asks, voice only able to ask questions

“I mean, there’s nothing here.” You gesture between the two of you. “I appreciate your apology, but it doesn’t change much.”

You avoid his gaze, but his eyes remain locked on yours.

“I’m still hurt, honestly.” When your eyes finally meet his, you can barely seem to read them. If he could hold you, you know he would. “And we’d be lying to each other if we said things could be fixed just like that.”

It feels like a death sentence, and you’re the judge. Sentencing him to his fate.

He sighs, not able to form any thoughts. “I understand.” He does, but the understanding comes with a hurt.

“Because at the end of the day, I’d have to meet your parents again, and I’m sure they wouldn’t love me overnight.” Your chuckle is sweet but bitter. “I don’t want to put myself in that position again.”

He inhales sharply, the air thick with regrets. He’s always been prepared to face judgment, but this—this is a different kind. “I’m sorry that they hurt you so much. And that I did too.”

“I know you are.” You want to rush through this, to just get over with it. “I just wanted to clear things up and make sure we’re on the same page.”

Neither of you bothers to order anything; the thought of food feels heavy and unappetizing.

“Yeah, we definitely are.” He laughs, but the sound is sorrowful.

He knew it all along. There’s only so far, the universe can go for him.

It seems Taehyung was wrong; the universe didn’t bring you together to get back together but to part ways on a better note. The hatred and disdain that once was your relationship have only served to hurt you both.

“Let’s end things on a good note this time, Jungkook.” Your voice is soft, almost a whisper.

Meeting you again has him understanding what he once didn't realize, the mistakes he made, and now he seeks to apologize for them. There are so many “I wish” statements he could say, but isn’t about that. Sometimes, it’s simply just too late.

It’s a reality he has to face now.

“Maybe that’s all we needed,” he jokes, but the laughter feels uncomfortable.

You chuckle lightly, “I guess so.” You can feel the tension in your chest begin to ease, the heaviness lifting just a little. His presence, once a source of turmoil, now feels more tolerable, like a bittersweet memory you can finally face.

"I won’t lie; I’ll have to miss you all over again." His smile is simple.

As you slide out of your seat, he stands too, and the world around you fade into the background. It’s only when you reach his car that you find the courage to pull him into a hug. His warm arms wrap around you, and the familiar scent of his cologne pulls you in like a comforting blanket.

"I’ll always love you; you know." His voice is muffled against your coat, and the words hang in the cold air.

"Jungkook, don’t do that to yourself." You pull back slightly, just enough to meet his gaze, but he squeezes you tighter, afraid to let go.

Maybe he crossed a line he shouldn’t have. Maybe if he hadn’t followed you up to your apartment that night, if he hadn’t kissed you, if he hadn’t over-apologized—

“Don’t overthink it,” you whisper, trying to soothe his possible thoughts.

“It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault, okay?” You try to keep a smile on your face. “Be glad we got to redo this and at least not hate each other anymore.”

“That’s if you don’t hate me.” You flash him a teasing smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

he smiles too.

“I actually do hate you,” he jokes.

“I hate you too."

A/N: it is what it is. PAAAAAIN.

[f1angelz]

Hey there , saw your requests open soo

Carlos x fem reader

The reader is pretty closed off, calm or unemotional person, works in academia. Somehow her and Carlos are dating and it hasn't been that long. Carlos wants to know more of her and like form an emotional bond but the reader is pretty nonchalant. But he notices that she's much more reactive when they're having sex or getting yk. And he uses that to his advantage to get her to say I love you back (she loves him but never says that)

You can take your time. No worries (•‿•)

𝒄𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒆? — carlos sainz x f!reader

summary: everyone’s shocked how y/n is carlos sainz’s girlfriend. her personality didn’t really show it— calm and nonchalant, never really the type to open up even towards carlos. will he be able to change that?

content warnings: smut (18+) mdni, cunnilingus, bathroom sex (but there’s no penetration so idk if that’s still considered), not proofread again 😭 please excuse errors you might encounter.

this fic contains super basic spanish words!

── .✦

“No, are you serious?”

“Miss Y/L/N? Dating THE Carlos Sainz?”

“I know, why hasn’t she told us? If I were her, I’d be bragging about it everyday.”

“Maybe that’s why she had someone substitute for her Friday class, she was at the race last week.”

Said the students who gossiped over their TA, Y/N.

Recently, a picture of Carlos and Y/N in the Ferrari garage was released all over social media. It went viral, the post reaching almost a million likes.

Y/N obviously wasn’t the type to post content of her boyfriend. She was rather reserved, her social medias were private and little to no posts— she didn’t even have a TikTok account.

Even at the start of their relationship, Y/N didn’t know Carlos was an F1 driver. She only found out when he invited her to a race.

The sound of Y/N’s heels clicking against the marble tiles echoed throughout the hallway, making her way towards the lecture hall. She pushed the laminated wood door open and the students immediately fell silent, watching her as she made her way towards the desk.

“Mr. Sanders won’t be able to make it today, so he won’t be able to deliver a lecture.” Y/N said while she brought out her laptop and placed it on the desk. After the students heard the news, they whispered a small ‘yes’.

“However, he has instructed me to create a quiz on last week’s lesson.”

The students groaned.

Y/N opened her laptop, “The quiz can now be accessed, you have 1 hour to answer. Goodluck.”

The students got to work and Y/N as well, answering several emails and creating lesson plans for the next semester.

Work never really seemed to end for her, she was always glued to her laptop— and when Carlos wanted to spend time with her, it would take a long persuading to do so.

1 hour quickly passed by and Y/N stood up, “Please submit your quizzes. Late submissions 2 minutes after will incur deductions. Once you have finished, you may leave the lecture hall.”

Some students who were already finished left as instructed while others were still fixing their things.

Just as Y/N was about to fix her things too, her phone vibrated and a notification appeared.

Carlos: Mi preciosa, what time do you get off work?

She opened her phone and replied.

Y/N: Now, actually. Why? My 11 to 3 pm class got cancelled.

Carlos: I was wondering if we could grab lunch? I’ll fetch you from work.

“Miss Y/L/N?” A voice interrupted, Y/N looked up from her phone and saw a group of students surrounding her.

“We’d like to ask what’s the passing score? One of them asked.

“Passing is 25.”

All of them let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Miss. See you next week!” They replied and slowly walked away “We hope to see you in the race next week.” One joked, causing their elbow to be nudged.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed upon hearing the statement, causing her to stand up. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, well you’re all over social media right now, Miss. We know you’re dating Carlos Sainz.”

“Yeah, why haven’t you said anything? It’s something to brag about.”

Y/N inhaled deeply, “Yes, I’m dating Carlos Sainz. Why does that matter? It isn’t my responsibility to announce my relationship status. Now, please leave the lecture hall.”

The students were stunned and they apologized. They left the hall, leaving her all alone.

Y/N huffed and grabbed her things, closed the lights and left the hall.

She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and messaged Carlos, telling him that she was already off work and already walking towards the exit.

Carlos was already parked outside of the University. Among all the other cars parked there, Y/N knew which one was her boyfriend’s car. She walked towards his car and knocked on the passenger’s door, Carlos opened it and greeted her with a warm smile.

Y/N smiled back and sat in the passenger’s seat, closing the door.

“How was work, amor?” Carlos asked as he started leaving the parking lot.

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“I guess?” He questioned.

“My students found out that we’re dating.” Y/N sighed and fixed her hair on the mirror.

“How’d they find out?”

“I don’t know, I told them off and I left the lecture hall immediately.”

Carlos glanced over to her, “Amor, what about it if they found out we’re dating? You’re smart, beautiful, and definitely more than what I deserve. What’s the worry?”

“Nothing.” She shrugged off Carlos’ question.

Their lunch ended on a good note and went home immediately after, at Y/N’s apartment.

Y/N tapped her keycard against the door lock, pushing it open. She took off her heels and placed it on the shoe rack behind the door, Carlos’ actions following hers. The cold beige colored marble tiles made contact with feet, her thin socks barely giving her any warmth.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Y/N announced, making her way towards the bedroom and Carlos hummed in response.

He always wondered why she wasn’t as open towards him. Sure, she’s shared some things about her past, and her life in general, but she never really shared anything regarding her emotions.

Although she’s somewhat affectionate, it’s still a shock to her how she really just couldn’t say the three words that meant the most— I love you.

The sound of metal clinking on the ceramic jewelry plate resonated throughout the bedroom, Y/N taking off her accessories before she showered.

“You’re so beautiful, you know?” Carlos leaned against the bathroom’s doorway, watching Y/N as she unbuttoned her blue silk button down top. She looked towards his direction, flashing him a small smile.

As she was about to unbutton the last one, Carlos wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, closing the gap between them. His hands wandered, while he placed soft kisses on Y/N’s neck.

“Carlos..” Her words fell, lost in his kisses. “— what are you doing..” She let out a soft moan.

“Te gusta, Mi amor?” Carlos said in between kisses, slowing making them aggressive.

“Si…” Was all Y/N managed to let out.

It was like Carlos turned on a switch in her brain, he never saw her like this. Submissive, melting even at the slightest touch.

Out of desperation, Y/N guided his hand towards her right breast, pushing her bra. Carlos played with her nipple, tugging and pulling on it. Y/N looked at herself in the mirror in front of her, desperate and needy for her lover’s touch.

She finally removed her top, only leaving her in her bra and panties, her slacks gone even before Carlos entered.

“Hermosa.” Carlos said under his breath, looking at Y/N’s figure on the mirror. She turned around and faced him, pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss. “May I take this off?” Carlos asked in between kisses and tugged on her bra strap, she hummed in response. With one swift movement, her bra fell loose, letting it drop on the floor.

Carlos pulled away and unbuttoned his linen polo, tossing it somewhere. Y/N couldn’t believe what was in front of her— it was her first time seeing Carlos topless. She placed a hand on his chest and he watched, her hand slowly going down towards his crotch.

Before she could unbuckle his belt, Carlos inched towards her, causing her to lean against the sink.

“Sit on the counter for me, yeah?” And she obliged, her feet hanging off the counter.

Y/N’s hands wandered along his chest and arms, desperate for his next move. Carlos brought his hand towards her left breast, kneading it as his mouth latched onto her right nipple. She felt herself getting wet, her core beginning to feel a familiar tingle.

Carlos pulled away for a moment, “Is this okay?” She nodded, her free hand making its way towards her core, ready to touch herself. But Carlos was quick to stop her, “Ah ah, no. Let me.”

“Por favor, Carlos.” Y/N begged, growing impatient.

Carlos laughed, “Since when were you so impatient, amor?” He took off her panties and tossed them aside, revealing her wet core.

Y/N spread her pussy lips apart, her clit exposed and covered with her wetness. Carlos went on his knees and placed kisses on her inner thigh, inching closer towards her pussy. Y/N grabbed his hair, desperately wanting to be touched.

He placed his thumb on the entrance of her pussy, spreading her wetness around. Y/N’s breath hitched, “Fuck, Carlos.” He licked her clit gently, his thumb still toying with her entrance.

“You love this, no?” Carlos taunted, his licks now turned into sucking which made her crazier.

“So— so much, f-fuck! More!” Y/N moaned out, her grip on Carlos’ dark brown locks tightening.

Carlos picked up the pace, her sounds of pleasure growing louder and louder each time his tongue grazed over her clit.

Y/N brought her hand towards her breast, pinching and twisting her nipple to stimulate herself.

Carlos couldn’t believe the sight before him. Her chest heaving up and down, breaths shaky from the work his tongue was doing on her pussy.

He felt that Y/N was cumming soon, her wetness growing even more. “Are you close, amor?” Y/N nodded like her life depended on it, “Si, amor— fuck! I’m so close!” She struggled to say, her orgasm nearing.

“You wanna cum?”

“Yes, please— please! I want to cum!”

“Tell me that you love me, and I’ll let you cum.” Carlos stopped sucking on her pussy and rubbed her clit with his thumb instead, in a painfully slow motion.

“W-what?” She breathed out, unsure of what he said.

“Tell me you love me.” Carlos stood up and pulled her closer, his middle and ring finger rubbing her clit as he picked up the pace.

Y/N jaw remained open, unable to comprehend what Carlos said.

“Cat got your tongue, amor?” He smirked and rubbed even faster, the sound of her wetness spreading around her skin.

“A-ah! I love you— fuck! I love you, C-carlos!” She screamed as her orgasm came over her, her legs tightened on his hips. Carlos groaned, giving her wet pussy a slap before slightly pulling away.

Y/N processed what happened, she actually said I love you.

How did that happen?

Still recovering from her orgasm, she was panting heavily. Carlos took a good look at the sight in front of him, satisfied with what he did.

“If it takes an orgasm for you to say those words,” Carlos panted, running his hand through his hair. “Then I’d give you an orgasm everyday.”

Y/N let out a laugh, “I never really said I love you because I thought it was too early.”

Or maybe because she wasn’t used to it.

“Amor, I’ve always wanted to hear those words come out of your mouth ever since we’ve started dating.” Carlos cupped her cheek, looking into her eyes. “Por favor, mi amor. Please say I love you more often.”

“But that means I wouldn’t be able to get orgasms anymore.” She joked, Carlos laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you cum anytime you want.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.

“I love you, Carlos.”

“I love you too, mi preciosa.”

── .✦

a/n: this was a experience to write! i haven’t written smut in a while 😭

[centrally-unplanned]

I thought this was a well-framed piece on changing tastes in US literature - there absolutely has been a marked shift in what kinds of books are widely read over the past ~50 years. It also slots into some of my own themes around "what happened to all the capital-g Great People" discourse - will there be a new crop of "American Authors" a la Hemingway, Updike, etc, or is that passé, and if so why? Yingling (correctly imo) pushes back on the "death of literary fiction" as being something created wholesale by the internet and trends like declining attention spans - the death happened well before the internet took over everything (it was firmly established by the 2000's), and people do in fact read long books, just as much as they used to (most people never read hefty literature in any era).

Yingling instead posits that this shift is also not due to a change in reader taste, but instead more in "supply" - the death of easy revenue streams for literary authors, changes in how publishers operate, the chasing of awards and genre niches over general readers. To simplify, he believes that one could be an Updike of Our Era, if only one of sufficient talent truly tried and the gatekeepers pivoted to encouraging that. There is truth to the supply issues, but here I think he is overreaching - the supply is instead reflecting the changing demand.

This error is most exemplified in one of his arguments around why it hasn't changed, namely that people still read old literary fiction:

For one, people still read plenty of literary fiction, what they don’t read is contemporary literary fiction. Books like Pride and Prejudice, War and Peace, The Brothers Karamazov, etc still sell many thousands of copies every year, more than even big hits in contemporary literary fiction.5 And look at any survey of contemporary audiences' favorite books. Plenty of literary fiction there.6 So I think there’s a strong enough warrant here that the ‘taste-change’ hypothesis can’t be right either — unless the internet made people’s tastes magically shift away from contemporary literary fiction but not classics.

I don't specifically blame the internet, but I think this is revealing about the author's blindspots - people's tastes absolutely "magically shift" to classics over contemporary works! There is this thing, it is called status? Humans love it, they do so much because of it, and sometimes they even read books due to it! People are reading classic literature precisely because it is classic, it is "the canon". They are also Schelling Points to make reading social - you can easily form a book club around Wuthering Heights because everyone is "supposed" to read it; no one has to read whatever is #46 on the bestseller list today. That in fact drives a lot of media consumption more generally - people read the "hot new thing" and the classics so they can be a part of the wider conversation of society.

From this lens, from where the conversation is, I think you can see more shifts in the demand side that our author misses. He compares the best selling fiction of the 1960's, which was mainly literary fiction, to a sample from 2023:

It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros Atomic Habits by James Clear2 Dog Man: Twenty Thousand Fleas Under the Sea by Dav Pilkey

Which highlights that three of the five are romance novels (the others are a kid's book, which I don't think says anything, they don't "compete" with literary fiction; and a... nonfiction self-help book? So a typo by the list makers? Let's just ignore that). Now, for one, I would note that this being heavily female is saying a lot about how demand has changed, but that is a bit too obvious to belabor. Instead, I wanna interrogate that word "romance" - I don't think it means what the author wants it to. Let's look at It Ends With Us:

The story follows florist Lily Bloom, whose abusive relationship with neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid is compounded when her high school boyfriend Atlas Corrigan re-enters her life. It explores themes of domestic violence and emotional abuse. Based on the relationship between her mother and father, Hoover described it as "the hardest book I've ever written".

I'm not saying this is Blood Meridian or anything, but this isn't Harlequin either - it is blending romance tropes with the introspective, the memoir, and some topical politics. At the same time that "literary fiction" has declined, other genres have "grown up" - they cover a lot more diverse ground, targeting demos more specifically and expanding their narrative and thematic scope.

There have been several literary cultural movements specifically playing with this kind of broadening - the decline of lit fic coincidenced with the "memoir boom" of the 90's & 2000's, where "ordinary people" wrote creative-fiction-esque retrospectives on their lives, which you can see covers a lot of similar ground. Hell, to tie it back into gender a bit, if I wanted a serious story about politics & war back in the day, pulp fantasy wasn't gonna do that for you - but it will today! The 2000's was an entire decade of fantasy novels "growing up" (ymmv on how well ofc), and you can get your discourses on the nature of fascism Star Wars™ flavored if that is your tea.

Yingling essentially rests his hat on the idea of the "general reader" being out there still, like literary fiction has deserted them. But I think at least in part, this is a story of evolution, not devolution; in the 1970's we didn't make enough non-general literature to make specialists of the masses. But we do now, they have learned what they like, and aren't particularly interested in coming back to generalist fare. With caveats ofc, there were always be the Hot New Thing and universal appeal, etc - but being sufficiently talented is not going to make that the standard again.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Ranmaru Mori Main Story

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

Rush translation = Not proofread

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai. Are you still awake?"

The same warm voice I remembered came from beyond the door.

(That voice…)

Mai: "Yeah, I'm awake."

Ranmaru opened the door and sat beside me.

Ranmaru: "Sorry for coming by so late. I figured you might still be up."

Mai: "It's okay. Did you need something?"

Ranmaru: "Yeah. I wanted to thank you."

(Thank me?)

I tilted my head in confusion, and Ranmaru gave a wry smile.

Ranmaru: "During the discussion earlier, you stepped in to defend me without hesitation."

Ranmaru: "My position was already pretty shaky as it was, but I made it through thanks to you. I really appreciate it."

His sweet smile carried a genuine sense of relief.

Mai: "It's nothing."

(I did step in, but in the end, what Nobunaga really valued wasn't my words—it was Ranmaru's actions.)

Mai: "If anything, I should be the one thanking you."

I straightened my posture and turned to face him.

Mai: "I went to the battlefield, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even move."

Mai: "You saved me, so thank you."

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai..."

His eyes softened with concern as he looked at me.

Ranmaru: "You were unarmed, and more importantly, you're not a warrior. Anyone would freeze up if something like that suddenly happened to them."

Ranmaru: "By the way, why did you decide to go to the battlefield instead of running away?"

(I knew he'd be curious about that.)

Mai: "It started when you told me about the orphaned children."

I told Ranmaru everything I'd thought about since we parted ways at the teahouse, along with what I'd felt during my conversation with Nobunaga.

Mai: "Just because I went to the battlefield doesn't mean anything's going to change right away."

Mai: "And of course, I didn't expect to actually accomplish anything out there either, but…"

Ranmaru: "You didn't want to run away?"

(That's exactly it, but...)

(Wow, I really was thinking like some kind of hero, huh?)

Mai: "Maybe."

Feeling a little embarrassed for saying it out loud, I gave him a vague answer.

Ranmaru: "Mm. I see."

Even so, he smiled warmly.

Ranmaru: "By the way, I heard from the maids that you're a princess of the Oda clan."

Ranmaru: "And yet here you are, joining battles and helping out with the Oda army. You're not like most princesses."

(Huh? I thought being a princess was just for appearances' sake.)

(Did no one tell Ranmaru that?)

I suddenly remembered what Nobunaga had said in the great hall.

(He did say he'd decide later whether he'd believe Ranmaru or not.)

(If there's a reason he hasn't told Ranmaru yet, maybe I should just play along for now.)

Mai: "Um, well, you know… I just thought it'd be good to have more life experiences."

Ranmaru: "Haha, you really are an unusual princess."

Mai: "But honestly, I'm still getting used to doing this kind of support work."

Mai: "Azuchi Castle is huge, too, and there's just so much to learn."

Ranmaru: "Yeah, I can imagine."

After a moment of thought, his face suddenly lit up.

Ranmaru: "Oh! Hey, Lady Mai—how about helping me with my duties as a page tomorrow?"

Ranmaru: "The roles of a chatelaine and a page are kind of similar, so I might be able to teach you a thing or two."

(Huh!?)

Mai: "Are you sure? I mean, I hate to admit it, but I really don't know anything."

Mai: "I'm totally clueless about the world."

(I mean, I'm basically a beginner when it comes to the whole Sengoku period thing.)

Ranmaru: "Haha, don't worry about it. Everyone starts out like that, right?"

Ranmaru: "Besides, I have another reason for asking."

Mai: "Another reason?"

Ranmaru: "Yep. I want to get closer to you. ♪"

Mai: "What!?"

Ranmaru leaned in close, beaming innocently as I stared at him, stunned.

Ranmaru: "You're kind and brave, and somehow, we just keep crossing paths."

Ranmaru: "I'm actually pretty useful, you know? Or do you not want to get closer?"

(Ugh…)

He looked up at me with puppy-dog eyes.

Mai: "O-Of course I do! I'd love that!"

Ranmaru: "You mean it?"

Mai: "Y-Yeah, of course!"

Ranmaru: "Hmm. Well, alright then."

Ranmaru: "You're not backing away even with me this close, so at the very least, I know you don't dislike me."

Ranmaru: "Then it's settled. I'll see you tomorrow, Lady Mai. ♪"

He flashed a bright smile, then stood up to leave the room.

(Oh—right!)

Something about his light, graceful movements reminded me of something.

Mai: "Hey, this might sound weird, but did you already know about me before we met in the castle town?"

Ranmaru: "Huh?"

Mai: "I hadn't told you that I was working for the Oda army back then, but when we met again on the battlefield, you didn't seem surprised at all."

(It was like you already expected me to be there.)

Ranmaru: "Nope, I didn't know."

Ranmaru: "Before I could even be surprised, I just felt like I had to protect you—for making such a brave choice."

Mai: "Ranmaru..."

Ranmaru: "Didn't I say we've got a strange connection? Coincidences really are amazing, huh?"

With a playful wink, he finally left the room.

(Coincidence, huh?)

By sheer coincidence, I got caught in a wormhole.

By coincidence, I landed on the night of the Honnō-ji Incident.

By coincidence, I saved Nobunaga and altered the course of history.

And by coincidence, I met someone who always comes to my aid—someone I know I can rely on.

(It feels like time flows at a speed I don't fully understand in this era.)

(Everything moves so fast, and peace always seems just out of reach.)

(And yet, right now, I feel like maybe—just maybe—things will be okay.)

I closed my eyes, remembering Ranmaru's smile.

The blinding glint of the sword once raised against me quietly faded from my mind.

As Mai finally drifted off to sleep, Ranmaru—standing just outside the room—let out a sigh.

Ranmaru: "Yeah. I think that went perfectly."

Ranmaru: "Now that I'm back, I have to fulfill my duty."

His face was hidden in shadow, making it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

Turning his back to the gently flickering light, Ranmaru walked away without a sound.

The next morning.

(Got all my things—check. Dressed and ready—check!)

(Ranmaru's taking the time to teach me, so I need to give it my all, too!)

I placed my hand on the door that led to the hallway and slid it open in one swift motion.

Ranmaru: "Ah."

Mai: "Huh?"

(Why is he standing right outside my room?)

Seeing my dumbfounded expression, Ranmaru let out a laugh.

Ranmaru: "Oops, sorry! Didn't mean to startle you."

Ranmaru: "After last night, I realized I never told you where my room is."

Ranmaru: "Azuchi Castle is huge, and I didn't want you to get lost, so I came to pick you up."

Mai: "I see. Thanks."

Ranmaru: "You're welcome! So, about today's work—first, I'd like you to come with me and get you familiar with everything."

Ranmaru: "I'll guide you through the castle and explain things as we go."

Mai: "Got it!"

Ranmaru: "Hehe, you're really motivated."

He handed me a sheet of paper and a brush.

(This looks like a map of the castle. Wait—)

There were several blank spots scattered across the map.

Ranmaru: "Noticed that? Those blank spots are places you'll likely be visiting often."

Ranmaru: "I'll guide you to each of them, and I want you to check what's there and fill them in yourself."

Ranmaru: "It's easier to remember when you write things down with your own hand, right?"

Mai: "That makes sense."

(Still, I can't believe he put all this together in one night.)

(I'd heard he was talented, but this is on another level.)

And so, with that quiet admiration in my heart, my work with him began.

After I finished filling in all the blank spots on the map, I waited for Ranmaru at the place he mentioned.

(Still…)

Mai: "He really is amazing."

Right after Ranmaru returned to the castle, I saw him immediately surrounded by a crowd of people—though apparently, that was just a normal day for him.

------------Flashback-----------

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai, next up is—"

Maid 1: "Ah! Ranmaru!"

Maid 2: "Your smile is just as charming today!"

Ranmaru: "Thanks! When you say things like that, it makes me want to smile even more ♪"

Maid 3: "Ranmaru!"

Maid 4: "Good luck with your work today!"

Ranmaru: "Hehe, you too!"

Ranmaru: "Anyway—sorry to keep you waiting, Lady Mai. Let's head to the next spot ☆"

---------Flashback Ends--------

(At that level, it's pretty much a talent.)

(A talent of being loved by everyone.)

I thought about how he flawlessly guided me through the castle while kindly responding to every excited greeting he received along the way.

Ranmaru: "Sorry to keep you waiting, Lady Mai."

He returned, this time carrying a rather large bundle in his arms.

Mai: "That's a lot! Are we doing deliveries next?"

Ranmaru: "Hmm, well, I caused a bit of trouble for everyone, so I want to bring them some apology gifts—but honestly, it's kind of hard to go alone."

Ranmaru: "It's not really part of a page's duties, but would you come with me?"

Hugging the bundle close, Ranmaru furrowed his brows.

(I see. He's back in the Oda army now, but he did leave once.)

(Even someone as sociable as him must still feel a little awkward about it.)

Mai: "Alright, I'll go with you."

Mai: "I'm not that close to everyone yet either, but is that okay?"

Ranmaru: "Of course! Thank you!"

Ranmaru: "You're so kind. I really love people like you!"

Mai: "----!"

His open and honest words caught me completely off guard.

Ranmaru: "Alright, let's go!"

Mai: "Y-Yeah."

The one who had just so casually declared his "love" seemed completely at ease.

(That surprised me. I didn't think he'd say it so naturally.)

(Maybe that kind of honesty is part of why everyone likes him.)

Feeling once again impressed by his straightforward nature, we headed out of Azuchi Castle.

Our first stop was Mitsunari's room.

Ranmaru: "Lord Mitsunari? Huh? I heard he'd be here."

Mai: "Doesn't look like he's around. Still, wow, that's a lot of books."

As I glanced around the rather messy room—

(Hm?)

One of the piles of books rustled loudly and collapsed.

Ranmaru: "Ah—there he is."

Just as Ranmaru spoke, someone emerged from the mountain of books.

Mitsunari: "Ranmaru, Lady Mai. What brings you here?"

(Mitsunari!)

Mai: "Are you okay?"

I hurried over, but Mitsunari simply smiled, completely unfazed.

Mitsunari: "Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

Mitsunari: "I had just reached a stopping point in my research and must have fallen asleep without realizing it."

(W-Wait. He fell asleep, buried in books on the floor!?)

Ranmaru: "Ugh, I knew it would be like this."

While picking up the fallen books, Ranmaru puffed his cheeks out in frustration.

Ranmaru: "When we saw you in the hall the other day, you had huge dark circles under your eyes."

Ranmaru: "I bet you've been buried in research nonstop since coming back from the battlefield."

Mitsunari: "Yes. Even though it was a surprise attack, we still allowed the enemy to reach our main camp."

Mitsunari: "That clearly indicates there was a flaw in our strategy."

Mitsunari: "To make sure it never happens again, I wanted to come up with improvements while the battle was still fresh in my mind."

(Wait—does that mean he's been researching nonstop since then, without even sleeping!?)

(Most people would've collapsed from exhaustion after returning from war.)

From the moment I met him, Mitsunari had always shown me a kindness that stood out among the other warlords.

(But this level of obsession with military strategy goes beyond normal.)

(He's a true tactician, through and through.)

As I looked at him with newfound respect, something occurred to me.

Mai: "By the way, did you eat anything while you were researching?"

(He looks a bit more worn out than before.)

Mitsunari: "Food… now that you mention it, I haven't eaten."

Mai: "Wait—since when!? How many days has it been since you last ate?"

Mitsunari: "Days?"

Mitsunari tilted his head, genuinely puzzled.

Ranmaru: "I bet you didn't even notice if the sun rose or set."

(What? Seriously?!)

Ranmaru: "You always lose sight of everything around you the moment you get absorbed in something."

Mitsunari: "This is embarrassing."

Scratching his cheek shyly, Mitsunari admitted that, surprisingly, he was the type to forget sleep and meals when he was really focused.

Ranmaru: "I actually brought you a new tactics book, but I guess food comes first."

Mai: "True. Mitsunari, is it okay if I borrow the kitchen?"

Mitsunari: "Yeah—no, don't worry. I have this."

With a cheerful expression, he pulled out a small bundle from inside his robes and unwrapped it for us to see.

(What is that brown lump of rice? It's all dry and crusty!)

Mai: "Um, what is that?"

Mitsunari: "It's hoshii-meshi—dried rice. It's a very convenient food, you know."

Ranmaru: "Most people rehydrate it before eating. Only someone like you would gnaw on it as-is."

Mai: "Alright, I'm borrowing the kitchen!"

Mitsunari's expression softened gently.

Mitsunari: "You're really kind, Lady Mai."

(Oh wow…)

I almost got lost in his smile.

(He's kind, passionate about tactics, and a bit absentminded.)

(Mitsunari's the kind of person you just can't leave alone.)

With a smile like an angel, he stood beside Ranmaru, who flashed a dazzling idol smile of his own.

Ranmaru: "Well then, I'll leave the food prep to you, Lady Mai."

Ranmaru: "I'll stay here and tidy up this book pile."

Mai: "Alright, got it."

Smiling back at the two of them, I left the room.

I asked a nearby maid where the kitchen was and headed deeper into the palace.

(Mitsunari and Ranmaru... those two, somehow—)

Mai: "They could totally form an idol group."

???: "Idol group?"

(Huh?)

I turned around—and found Hideyoshi standing there, looking at me with a puzzled expression.

Hideyoshi: "Where are you going?"

Mai: "To the kitchen..."

His gaze pierced through me as I faltered.

(Hideyoshi is...)

------------Flashback-----------

Nobunaga: "Very well. Then I'll appoint you as chatelaine of the Oda army."

Mitsunari: "That is a wise decision. I'll assist Lady Mai as well."

Ieyasu: "She looks so weak, I doubt she'll be of any help."

Hideyoshi: "Don't question Lord Nobunaga's decision, Ieyasu."

Hideyoshi: "Still, I don't trust some random woman from who-knows-where either."

---------Flashback Ends--------

(Hideyoshi's been suspicious of me from the start—and honestly, he probably still is.)

Hideyoshi: "........."

I stood frozen under the weight of his silence as his brow furrowed even deeper.

Hideyoshi: "I was wrong."

(Huh?)

[kell-5]

And here is the new part)

Enjoy reading!

Disclaimer: gender neutral reader, possible errors, the reader knows how to fight, possible spoiler if someone hasn't read the comic "Transformers:Drift" from IDW publishing

Address: you, your, you, yours, yours

Characters: Drift x reader, a few moments from Wing

"New Life 3"

You woke up yourself, Drift was nowhere to be found, you thought maybe he had gone somewhere on business, so you didn't worry too much.

But as time went by, Drift was no more, you started to really worry, usually Drift doesn't disappear for so long, where did he go this time... you thought.

Several days passed like that, you looked for him in all the places you could, nowhere, nothing...

You had already buried him in your mind.

.

.

.

Let's move on a little further during the war.

You didn't choose any side, you were on the neutral side, you remember and know what war is from your past life, so you didn't want to get involved in this war that is not yours. You don't regret not choosing a side.

.

.

.

You went with those who also chose neutrality and were not going to participate in this war.

.

.

.

Crystal City

Here you were finally able to get a job, of course you had to sweat a little to deserve it but it was worth it, you got an apartment, you don't live on the street anymore, you don't get paid badly, it makes you happy that life has finally gone up a bit.

During all this time you learned a lot about transformers, their vocabulary, the terms of some words, you even discovered your own alt mode, it was a little difficult to learn to use it, but it was worth it, and you even found a common language with several other residents of the crystal city, one of whom you really remembered Wing, kind, patient, smart. Although you miss your old best friend Drift, you hope that he is alive somewhere out there, and if not, then you hope that his soul (if he has one) rests in peace.

Everything would be great, until one day when Wing brought a Decepticon to the Crystal City ... You were one of the last to find out about the Decepticon in the city, you were not happy about it, since you had heard and seen what atrocities the Decepticons committed.

Until one day Wing decided to introduce you.

"Oh my god, he's not that bad," Wing assured you.

"Don't be silly, the Decepticons are all the same," you replied, but you still went with Wing.

He brought you to the place where this Decepticon was. When you saw his shaft, your vision widened, it was ... it was Drift.

"Drift?..." You couldn't believe it was your friend

Drift turned to face you with a surprised expression on his face.

And then you saw the Decepticon insignia on his armor, your smile had never fallen so quickly from your face before and you had never walked so quickly.

"Or rather, Dedlock."

You had heard about Dedlock's "exploits" and his extreme cruelty. You hadn't seen him in a daze, but you had heard his description of his appearance that was a bit similar to Drift, and now all the puzzles were falling into place for you.

You approached him, he had already opened his arms to hug you, but received a slap on the cheek.

"Ouch!" He exclaimed

"That's why he disappeared. " you said and slapped him again.

"Ouch! What for!?"

"And that's why he became a Decepticon and committed atrocities."

"Wow, hey! Calm down, do you know each other?" Wing came up and pulled you away from him a little.

"Yes, we know each other, we lived on the street together, of course we knew each other for a few weeks, but that doesn't change the fact that he just took it and disappeared without saying anything."

"Listen, I had my reasons for that." Drift snapped

You slapped him again.

"And that's why?!"

"Why are you interrupting." You replied with a dissatisfied expression on your face. "So this is this Decepticon you brought, right?" You asked Wing.

"Well he was actually hurt...." You put your fingers to Wing's mouth to make him shut up

"I've heard this story I don't need to tell it again." You looked at Drift "and I'll have a separate conversation with you"

Drift was shocked of course he met his old friend, still alive, he thought you would want to see him but these slaps made it clear that you didn't want to see him right now.

You turned around and walked away muttering something under your breath.

"Are they always like this?" Drift asked

"Not just today it seems like it"

.

.

.

You went to the training room to vent your anger a little, you were angry, after a little training and a burst of anger, you sat down and hid your faceplate in your hands.

You exhaled and inhaled, and took your sword that you finally learned to use and looked into its smooth polished steel and saw your reflection. You looked at both the sword and your reflection in it for a long time just to not think about the fact that your friend was actually a cruel killer.

.

.

.

You later went to the same place where Wing brought you to "introduce" you to the Decepticon, they were fortunately no longer there. You stood there for quite a long time without any thoughts. You simply did not know how to react to this, you wanted to talk to him, to ask why he was a Decepticon? What did he fight for? But did he notice that the true goal of the Decepticons had long been buried under a large layer of cruelty and lust for power. But knowing Wing, he had already had a conversation with Drift.

And then you heard footsteps, heavy and even a little uncertain footsteps.

"So...how are you here?" A familiar voice sounded.

You turned your head slightly to see him Drift or Dedlock out of the corner of your eye, you didn't know how to address him.

"It's okay...you wanted something?"

"...decided to talk to an old friend, haven't seen each other in a while."

"Long time."

A tense silence fell between you.

"Listen...I didn't mean to disappear then, it just happened that way."

You listened attentively to Drift's story, after his explanations you really cooled down a little.

"So how should I address you Drift or..." - you didn't have time to finish when Drift said

"Drift, call me that"

You turned to him and approached him, you looked intently into his ruby optics, and then hit him in the stomach, he bent in half

"Oh you ....ugh..."

And then you hugged him.

"You have no idea how much I missed you, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still mad at you."

"Yes, I understood after three slaps ....but why hit me in the stomach?.." drift said in a voice that held back the pain.

You let him go.

"You deserved it, friend, now I will live with you until the end of your child, I promise you that"

Here you were finally able to talk to him a little, your old friend, under this shell of a cruel Decepticon, the Drift you knew was peeking out a little.

.

.

.

After the fight with the slavers and the death of Wing, you were devastated because another of your friends had died, but this time for sure.

You have a choice: you can go with Drift or stay in the crystal city, but here the choice is yours alone ....

______

Previous part

(and here is the third part, this part I like the most of all, although the first one is also very cool)

(English not my native language)

[losergames]

Chop Shop is strictly 18+ for language, themes, and potential explicit content. 

🔗 - Game Intro | Bug Report | ko-fi

WE ARE LIVE!!! Chop Shop has officially relaunched on Itch.io! Available to play on desktop, tablet and mobile.

Prologue - EP .02 are ready to play - the same as the previous demo - with a new word count of 120k. The choicescript demo will be taken down at the end of the month.

Thank you so much to those who have helped me during this transition period of development! It has been crazy frustrating but I am so much more in love with the game than ever. And thank you to everyone who has been patiently waiting - hope you enjoy all the new bits and bobs!!

PLAY THE NEW DEMO NOW!

AN: CS has had some significant rejigging and rewriting. You can read the authors notes under the cut.

chop shop now has it's own UI! woohoo! (totally did not kill me) this, of course, will come with teething problems and accessibility issues. i am welcome to constructive feedback!

there are a lot of new dialog boxes to explore, especially the dashboard, which includes the PC's profile, inventory, contacts and a glossary page. (the stat definitions page from the old choicescript demo has been scrapped, too much text that wasn't needed.)

chapters are now called episodes! not a huge change but i prefer the vibe yknow.

there have been some extensive rewrites - especially in ep .01, the bar scene got a lot more fleshing out - so i expect typos and grammar errors have slipped through. this doesn't bother me too much but i appreciate any one who spots them to send them in!

there is now an 'end game' scenario in ep. 01. i won't be providing a walkthrough as i think it's relatively obvious given the scenario but it does give you an achievement!

i've kept achievements like the old choicescript demo but it no longer rewards points. maybe i will think of something to reward the player with later down the line?? who knows

i don't want to explain ALL the new details as i really encourage people to go find all the new flavour text and other things etc!!

next -- if you have not noticed, i have added a bug report to the links list. all issues, bugs, and errors found in the public demo can now be reported via the new bug report form.

in terms of writing, i am now porting episode 3. i have had rewrite plans for this chapter for a while, so i imagine this port will take some time. i was in the middle of writing episode 4 when i decided to make the twine jump lmao, so it hasn't been touched for a LONG time, probably since march. i plan to jump straight back into writing when episode 3 is all done!

like before, ep 3 won't be released until ep 4 has a first draft and i'm happy with the shape and direction. so it will be some time before i am able to release new content. but - we ball!

thank you for reading this far and i hope you enjoy the new and improved demo! happy reading! - becky :^)

[riemanifests]

I can't even manifest small things like Angel numbers

gonna be harsh for a second, but what do you want me to say? if you look on my page or anyone else's page on how to manifest it's going to say the same thing. you have all of the information you need to know how to manifest signs, so use it! and don't give me that "but it hasn't been working, it's too hard, and i'm not capable" bullshit. the law is always working and you're always manifesting, so either you can suck it up and keep persisting or give in and just continue manifesting the struggle that you don't want. because you saying "i can't manifest this" is a story in itself, and is you saying that really helping the situation? because maybe that is your truth right now and maybe it really feels like your truth, but do you want that to be your truth? hell no obviously not, so you have to start detaching from that story. start telling yourself "manifesting is so easy for me, i am so good at manifesting, or i always succeed in manifesting what i want". i don't give two shits if that feels so fake right now or your mind wants to go "but-" NO. cancel out the old story because that's not the person you want be anymore. and it's like ok so you're hitting a roadblock and maybe you're struggling, so are you just going give up and say well i can't do it?? like what? no keep fucking going keep trying like instead of just throwing in the towel be stubborn about it. give it NO choice but to manifest, because reality is just a reflection. don't give up, maybe you need to do a bit of trial and error test out some methods or change your approach to manifesting something but don't fucking give up???? like you know you can manifest those signs, so why are you not continuing to persist until you finally do it?? it is all in your hands. you have the ability, so use it. i dont care how much persisting, how many days it takes, or what you have to do but go and get that damn sign for yourself because you can.

[anadrym]

Extended Author's Notes for Left Behind Ch21.

Spoilers!

Chapter title is from "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic BUT specifically the mashup on youtube called "Stop Walking the Wire" which has different background music.

I kind of have this idea that, from Vi's point of view, she's not lying about being hurt/uncomfortable. The way she sees it, constant, low-grade pain is pretty much her normal now. If anything, she's feeling better than she has in years because it's all physical instead of physical and mental and emotional. So when she says that her leg hurts, she's being completely honest. It's not even a lie of omission. But Caitlyn knows that Vi is still hurting, so she doesn't really believe that Vi's telling her the whole truth.

Mmm, bringing up the idea of patience and waiting, and remembering that Cait, for all of her impulsivity, is still a sniper.

Okay, so, the neck kiss. Remember that Vi's reason for holding back is that she doesn't know if Caitlyn is maybe in another relationship. It's been five years. Caitlyn and Vi were only together for three years before the Purge. BUT. Caitlyn called her "my love" at the end of the last chapter, and Vi started to suspect that she actually hasn't moved on. That's why she kisses Cait's neck here (forehead and hand kisses could be platonic, but neck kisses are really pushing it) - she's testing the waters, trying to see how Caitlyn reacts.

I actually didn't mean to scare any of you with the noise from the other room! I was just trying to show how jumpy Caitlyn is. To the point where Vi notices her anxiety and is concerned about it.

I don't know why, but I love the mild contradiction of "sawing" the bread into "even" slices.

Petra's comment about being sucked down the drain wasn't intentionally about Vi being malnourished or Caitlyn being tall and lanky. But it's funny that it fits.

YES! Several of you noticed it and mentioned it in your comments: Petra is absolutely picking on Caitlyn to ease the tension and to make Vi especially feel comfortable. She's also being careful to not treat Vi like she's breakable; she's trying to help her feel like a normal person again.

And of course, Caitlyn's brain making the Windows error sound every time Vi smiles. Poor girl is so in love she can barely function.

Petra is weaponizing Vi and Caitlyn against each other to get them to eat. Vi hesitates? Caitlyn can pressure her into trying. Caitlyn doesn't want to eat in front of Vi, who's struggling? Vi can give her those puppy eyes to convince her to finish her food. That's the main reason Petra leaves to change the sheets. (The other reason is that she doesn't want Caitlyn to risk making her ribs worse.)

When Vi asks "What if...?" she's worried that she won't be able to keep the broth down. Throwing up is miserable enough, but it also will dehydrate her faster. It's a valid concern, but she still has to get back on actual food, especially with how distressing the IV is to her.

Do I think Caitlyn from the show would flip someone off? No. Do I think Caitlyn who's lived with Vi for three years and then became a bounty hunter and has now lived above a club for two years would flip someone off? Yes. Absolutely.

Vi really is trying. She wants to feel like a person again, she wants to be able to eat and sleep and not see every potential touch as a threat. She didn't hold on for five years just to be trapped inside her trauma. But even watered down broth seems too salty. :(

The paragraph about Vi's robe hanging open and Caitlyn staring at her chest was a last minute addition. It's a topic that comes up again later, that Caitlyn wants Vi so badly, even with how much her body has changed.

Oh, and Caitlyn's righteous fury makes another appearance. Baby girl wants justice/revenge so badly that she doesn't even care about the difference between the two.

In that vein (and I'm copying this from my reply to one of your comments): Caitlyn grew up in a very "proper" environment. We know that she didn't always follow rules or behave in a way that was "befitting" the daughter of a Councilor and the heir to such a massive family name. But she was still sheltered. I'm absolutely certain that her mother was the first person she ever really lost (in a sudden/violent way), so she didn't know how to deal with it, which is why she reacted as harshly as she did. It is so much fun to write her as a deeply ANGRY person. She loves fiercely and she has a strong sense of justice. So when something threatens that, Caitlyn is just so prone to furious outbursts. But then we also have to consider that she is extremely aware that her anger won't help here. It would actively make the situation worse. So she has to hide it so she can take care of Vi (which leads back into the idea of how fiercely she loves, that she will reign in her wrath just to keep a loved one safe).

Vi's not sorry that she can't eat so much as she's sorry that she's worrying Caitlyn. And Caitlyn, of course, knows that it's not Vi's fault and tries to reassure her, but the worry is still there. So Vi will continue to feel guilty about it. So what does Vi do? She takes care of what she can. If she can't ease Cait's mind, she can at least make sure she eats.

Caitlyn is trying so hard to put her own needs aside right now, because Vi needs to be cared for. But I'm trying to establish that Caitlyn is also pretty traumatized here. She absolutely cannot do this without help. That's gonna be important in a few chapters.

Gotta be honest, whenever I describe guilt as something dripping and pooling, I want to evoke tar. But I'm really thinking of Hexxus from Fern Gully.

Vi bumps her foot against Caitlyn's just to reassure herself that her partner's there. They simply cannot. stop. touching each other.

Petra is absolutely going to bond with Vi by teasing Caitlyn. Imagine them teaming up.

Like I said in last week's notes, I'm trying to keep Petra on the sidelines. I love her, but we're all here for Vi and Caitlyn. Besides, Petra's a smart woman. She's giving them time alone on purpose; they really need to talk. (But they're not going to yet.)

I love the idea of Petra just chucking a pair of socks at Caitlyn's head. Getting Vi to smile and hitting Caitlyn in the face? Hell yeah. Cait does catch them, but that doesn't take the fun out of it.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE CAITLYN JUST FUCKING KISS HER HOLY SHIT

(Not yet. Slowburn of an already established relationship, my beloved.)

Oh, to bask in the gentle affection of a loved one like a cat in a sunbeam.

Vi, who cares so deeply and protects so fiercely, promising to worry about Caitlyn forever and Caitlyn, who feels like she doesn't deserve that devotion, accepting it anyway. And the fact that the reverse is probably also true. They are my favorite relationship of all time, your honor.

"They have time now." - Well, yes. But also... You can't hide at Petra's forever. The Baroness knows by now that they've escaped and she's not pleased about it. And that Jarret Sol guy from Chapter 3 knows that Caitlyn is here. Someone is going to find them. Several someones, actually. ;)

Teaser for the next chapter:

Vi hears Caitlyn swallow hard and opens her eyes to see her partner licking her lips in a familiar nervous gesture.

"...Cait?"

Caitlyn's gaze meets hers, anxious but sure. "Can I help you with your hair?"

[lionheartedmusings]

as the pieces start to slot together (and i mean... barely, we have like two corners) it's becoming to me more and more apparent that everything we're seeing from q!bad is nothing more than a very elaborate game of chess that he's forced everyone into, and i have thoughts, especially regarding two things he said to q!bagi yesterday that really, really stood out... and something he hasn't said that speaks volumes.

let me preface by saying that q!bad is a liar, a gaslighter, the man is built on lies and deflection — he almost always tells you the truth sandwiched between two lies and leaves you to wonder what the fuck just happened. he's slippery, he's deceitful, and he doesn't make the error of thinking he's the smartest person in the room all the while knowing full well he can pull all the strings he needs mostly undetected.

q!bad is also not someone who measures his love by how much he trusts people — those two things are separate to him to an extent, he can love you with his whole everything and not trust you. the only people he trusts are the eggs — i'd go as far as to say he doesn't even trust skeppy fully. take q!etoiles for example! someone who's always been on q!bad's corner but who he told to his face he can't trust fully because he's too powerful.

his trust issues run so deep that he doesn't even trust himself. he expressed that during the presidential election arc, and he's questioned if he's the one helping the feds subconsciously — q!bad hasn't cleared himself out of his own suspect list, and i need people to understand that.

q!bad is paranoid and cautious and every move he makes is weighed against the cost of making it, and how that could cause security and safety issues. it's exhausting, by the way, and i will go into heavy detail about that at a later date — how much it weighs on him to always think of the worst and prepare and anticipate and fight to prevent it.

still, it's... pretty apparent when q!bad is telling the truth if you know him enough — he does it when he doesn't say enough. if he's being cryptic, if his voice drops and he seems blaze about something unimportant... he's telling you a lot more than he's letting on, and he's hoping you'll catch on. i find it fascinating that he chose to do that with q!bagi yesterday.

"my only goals are to find my kids and to leave the island" is such a rich morsel of where q!bad is going with this? we know he's sussing out someone who is knowingly or unknowingly working with the federation, but i don't think that's all — i think he knows very well what he plans to do when he finds that person, and also knows how he plans on using that info to get everyone out safely.

he also blatantly (in q!bad speech) told q!bagi that everything he's doing, he's doing for a reason and that that reason is ultimately a positive end goal for everyone. he was telling her that he's got a purpose, he's not crazy or erratic on a whim — he's calculated. i don't know if he chose q!bagi because he knew she wouldn't get it but he hoped she'd find it curious, or if he just needed to talk at someone, but it really stood out to me.

the second thing that stood out was his surprise that q!bagi had even trusted him before, and that knowing that was the highlight of his day.

now, i genuinely don't think q!bad measures his love / care in terms of how much he trusts other people, but he measures his own worth in how much he's trusted, relied on, and how much he can do for others. for him to blatantly admit how that little admission of trust even if it's gone now means so much to him? my man's struggling big time (we knew that already) but enough that he's vocalizing it.

but really can we be surprised? i've talked about how i didn't feel like q!bad was sorry for kidnapping / torturing ron and i've let him cook and changed my mind on the subject... kind of.

i think q!bad is remorseful and sorry for what he's having to do, more than of what he's doing. he's sorry he's having to go to this length, he spoke candidly about how much he hated hurting his friends and how he wasn't sure how many more he'd have to hurt in the process, he hates that for his plan to succeed (and everything is always "going according to plan") he has to do these things. he wishes he didn't have to.

he's not sorry for what he's doing, but he is. he's sorry he's hurting people, but he's not sorry that his plan has to be seen through — he's working towards the big picture, and he can't stop now. he knew what he was getting into, and there's no jumping ship now. he decided to burn himself and his bridges for the benefit of his children and his family (and q!bad's family is much more extensive than he lets on) and it's his cross to bear now.

he also doesn't trust himself, like i said before.

here's the thing about q!bad — he will talk in circles, alone, for hours. he'll run scenarios over and over in his head, ruminate, theorize and discard possibilities to exhaustion... it's the things he says once and doesn't mention again that are scary, because he locks them down in his head where it's safe.

he's noticed the federation is incredibly lenient with him — he said it offhandedly once, alone, he said "chat, have you noticed that all they ever give me is a slap on the wrist" — he knows. he knows something's up, he knows something's wrong with that picture.

he doesn't trust himself. he'll get to the bottom of this whole thing if it kills him, and by god if he has to be the most hated man on this island by the end of it... so be it. it's a small sacrifice to make for the children that he loves, and for their many families that he considers friends.

never forget that q!bad is, above all else, the man who lives in service of others... it's just that sometimes, that service isn't items and help and safety.

we also need to acknowledge that what q!bad is doing is most likely a direct parallel to what q!cellbit did with the regret arc but i don't think people are ready for that conversation yet

[bensonoliviasstuff]

“Turning Page”

Chapter five! “May these memories break our fall”

Masterlist for Turning Page

Bucky Barnes x fem! Reader

Summary: Once Bucky regained consciousness and was no longer the Winter Soldier, all he missed from the 40s was his wife. But maybe she's closer than he thought.

Warnings: English is NOT my first language, so I'm sorry if there are too many errors. A little bit of angst, memory loss, betrayal, trauma, Insecurities. And the best part: Thanos doesn't exist here

Taglist: @capswife @mostlymarvelgirl @scott-loki-barnes @bxckybxrnes24 @alliw27

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

That was what woke you up, an irritating noise that reminded you of a hospital.

For a moment you thought it was the alarm clock, only then did you realize it was your heart rate monitor.

You opened your eyes, Taking a while to process the light that hurt his eyes, the first question that crossed his mind was “what happened?”

Soon flashbacks of the mess you caused after seeing the photo in Bucky's wallet began to appear in your mind, God, you were a mess when you started taking it all in.

You tried to lift your torso just to feel that you were a little unable to move.

You looked down, trying to understand what was stopping you from getting up, and then you saw Bucky.

He was sitting in a chair on the side of the bed, but his metal hand held yours as he slept with his head resting on your thigh.

You smiled, as soon as you laid eyes on him the understanding came to you.

He was alive, he was alive and sleeping in front of you.

You used your unoccupied hand to stroke his hair, letting out a sob as it all hit you.

He woke up with your body shaking because of the sobs, a little disoriented he quickly got up, approaching you.

"Why are you crying? Does your head still hurt? Are you well?" He peppered you with questions and you started laughing through sobs.

“I'm crying because I missed you, idiot” you said, his heart stopped (and he couldn't say if it would start again)

He placed his hands on your face, laughing along with you, you both looked like a mess of tears.

He looked at you without knowing exactly what to say, it still seemed unreal that you remembered him.

He didn't know any word to describe his happiness that wasn't simply an euphemism, you were here, you were his, and he was yours, it had always been this way, and now you knew it was.

“I'm sorry for making you miss me, doll” He asked for forgiveness, feeling that now that you remembered the guilt would consume him once and for all, “Please forgive me, I didn't keep my promise, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

He started to stammer out apologies, Would you blame him for not listening to you? Would you feel angry at him for leaving you?

You couldn't control yourself anymore, you've wanted to do this for about... eighty years? seventy?

You placed your hands on his face and pulled him towards you, crashing your lips together and automatically feeling all the happiness in the world, it was immeasurable how much you missed those lips against yours.

He seemed surprised by your sudden attitude, he thought it would take longer for you to reach this stage, but didn't hesitate even half a millisecond before kissing you back.

He pulled you closer to him, you both could merge and it wouldn't be close enough to make up for the time you were apart.

He placed one hand on your waist, squeezing that portion of skin, with the other hand he reached your scalp, moving your head so that the kiss seemed like a choreographed dance that only you two knew the right steps.

He slid his tongue into your mouth, you smiled into the kiss, for someone who had never kissed anyone since 1945 Bucky realized he still knew how to get to your favorite spots.

You only separated when you ran out of air, both of you panting after the most passionate kiss you've ever shared, Bucky pressed his forehead to yours with his eyes closed, you took a look at him, with his red and swollen lips, he hasn't changed anything, you remembered him exactly as he is now.

It made you emotional, the tender feeling of your husband so close to you.

You broke the contact only to hug him, burying your forehead in his neck and being surrounded by his arms like a newborn baby.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault Barnes” you whispered, God! how long has it been since you called him Barnes. “You found me, that’s what matters.”

“Did you ever doubt i would?” He teased, Drawing with his fingers in your upper thigh.

You smiled against his neck, giving him goosebumps a little “I think I have to admit that your funeral made me doubt it a little.” You joked, the worst day of your life was when you and Steve had a funeral without any body

“I will always find you as long as I live, that’s the concept of ‘till death do us part’” He stated confidently.

You sighed, enjoying the smell of your husband, you thought you would never have that contact again. “Bucky... I...”

You couldn’t finish your sentence as a loud noise made you startle and Bucky pressed you tighter against his chest.

"What was this?" Bucky said stiffly, holding you tighter.

You closed your eyes tightly, the possibility entering your head.

Unfortunately you were right.

Bucky held your hand trying to take you to a safe place when the infirmary was invaded, you recognized each of the Hydra agents and wanted to run away.

Your eyes widened as you saw Bucky fighting each of the agents, whatever Hydra did to him all these years, it was bad.

It was obvious that he wouldn't be able to handle them all, but you were also trained, he didn't count on you taking down several of the agents that came at you.

In the time you were here, Bucky only had access to the quiet and observant version of you, it was the first time he saw you in action and it made him lose his breath, you looked even more beautiful as you dropped dozens of men at your feet.

But those agents were already adapted to you trying to turn against them, they knew your every move while you fought, because they were the ones who had trained you all these years, you would eventually always end up rebelling in your time trapped in Hydra.

It took a while, but one of them knocked you down with a blow to the head. “Y/n!” You heard Bucky scream.

You looked at your right and saw him trying to free himself from some agents holding him, there were many.

Bucky was going into despair, but the thought of losing you again did what no amount of adrenaline ever did.

He swung his metal arm, getting rid and punching a son of a bitch who was holding him before.

He was seeing red, not being able to see how many people he knocked out until he realized they were all on the ground.

He turned to you who was curled up on the floor with a bad headache from the blow.

“Calm down doll, we’re going to be fine” he picked you up, taking you to his room via the safest route.

As soon as he arrived in the room, his phone started ringing and Natasha's voice was heard. “come here, now!”

He reluctantly sat you down on the bed “I'll be right back, don't you dare leave here until the compound is safe” he turned to leave but you held his hand.

“Bucky, I have to tell you something…” He stopped to listen, but before you could say anything a loud bang was heard outside.

“I need to go, doll, you tell me later, we will have plenty of time, i love you” He ran to the door.

“But...” he was already far away, shouting for FRIDAY to lock the room, “it’s important...”

You sighed, this was all your fault, Bucky would never forgive you, would he?

You started walking around the room, you had never been in his room.

You looked around, noticing that there was no decoration other than several picture frames on the nightstand.

They were all photos of the two of you or just you, now you remembered all those moments.

Remembering everything now felt like a death by a thousand cuts, all of Bucky's efforts and you still didn't remember him, you would have avoided so much suffering if you had remembered earlier.

You reached his wardrobe, taking one of the blouses and pressing it to your face, You missed him so much, that smell, it seemed like the penny hadn't sunk in for you until that moment, you finally had Bucky back.

The thought was interrupted by someone knocking down the door, you only managed to see a very familiar face before it blacked out.

He would forgive you? that’s what you hoped.

Bucky knocked down another one of the agents, ready to punch someone else when he saw them all backing up and walking away.

He couldn't understand why they were giving up so suddenly, it was as if they had completed the objective.

His eyes widened: you.

He ran faster than he remembered ever running, reaching his room only to scream in frustration when he saw the high-security door kicked open.

He threw a punch at the wall feeling tears welling up in his eyes, it was now that he would kill all those bastards.

He ran downstairs, skipping a few steps as he passed the staircase, his head was clouded with the possibility of losing you again when he didn't even have enough time to processing that you both were together again. Had hurt enough when you were apart, but now that he had tasted your kiss, your touch, your smell... He couldn't lose you after feeling all of this again.

He ran to the exit but Steve stopped him before he reached the door.

“They took her!” Bucky shouted, struggling to get past, but Tony joined Steve in holding him back.

“And what’s your genius idea? Go there alone and without any kind of plan?” Steve said, insisting on keeping Bucky away from the door “Bucky, I’m serious! You know I won't spare any effort to bring her back, but you need to use your head.”

“Oh, I'm using my head perfectly now, enough to know that I'm NOT going to lose her again!” He shouted, letting go of Steve and taking two steps back. “I won't make the same mistakes, I won't lose her again, I won't leave her alone again!” He approached Steve "Last time it was my fault, I left her alone to go to that stupid war and lost everything, I just got her back Steve, so don't tell me what to do!"

This time Steve didn't try to fight, so Bucky walked past him, grabbing the keys to some random bike, he wouldn't let his girl go again, you just remembered him, what if they erased your memory before he arrived? Or worse, what if they killed you?”

That wouldn't be happening, not while he was alive.

[stellarremnantsau]

How does the author feel about her cast?

1: Nightmare/Remnant/Night = He's my CHILD. I love him. He's exactly how I think a true Nightmare would be. He's so snarky and dramatic and I love him to BITS! 2: Killer = Second favorite surprisingly! I poured so much into his personality and dynamic. He's so complicated and messed up and I love a good, flawed character. 3: Ink = My ADHD boi. My poor poor forgetful bean. I was very hesitant about his character and how I was going to portray him, but I think I like what I settled on. He's so fun to write and it was cool to take the canon soullessness approach with him. 4: Corrupt/Corrupted "Nightmare" = The glorious stuck-up parasite. I love his character and how I arranged his personality and qualities. He's so horrible and I LOVE it! Everyone wishes him to suffer and that's fantastic. Love a villain that is written to be hated, and I think I did well with that! Corrupt gets a gold star for be awful like his creator intended. 5: Horror = The older brother character. He's so dang sweet and genuine. His backstory took so dang long to figure out and it was longer then Corrupts and Corrupt had 500 years of timeline to organize. He does so many small things in the story that just feel so RIGHT for his character. 6: Dream = My socially anxious child! ahhhh!!! He hasn't gone through his character arc yet so this 6th place rating might change, but he's so nervous and worried and tired and someone help the poor boi omg. 7: Blue = I'm surprised he's this low on the list but OH WELL. BLUE the best friend. The guy in your corner. They guy who somehow hates Ink- I don't know how that happened, and I wrote him! I have so much planned for his character omg. 8: Error = I think I have thought too much about his character even though I haven't written much in his POV. I do have much off a feel for is character yet though I like what he's got going for him so far so we will see. For now, 8th place. 9: Dust = Don't get me wrong, I love him. just not as much as the others. He hasn't had his arc yet! This might change. He's complicated, but he's quite about it. 10: Cross = This BORING ASS PLAIN ASS character. I wish him PAIN. UGH. He better become more interesting during his arc! He is NOTHING to me!!! (Side Note - I love all my characters, but I can list them from favorite to least favorite. Most of these are just lower because they have not had their arcs. To be fair, none of the characters have had their arcs yet. I have arcs planned for EACH of them. Don't worry if your favorite is lower on this list, I put the same amount of care and thought into EVERY character no matter how I feel about them.)

[robinhuntr]

ok ok ok, so the absolute universe hasn't introduced a green arrow yet so here's my take on it.

Heres my random quick sketches of Roy as Absolute Green Arrow and a crappy sketch of his makeshift costume.

Since he's in Seattle (or Star City, whatever the status of that is currently) I wanted him to take inspiration from grunge, especially Kurt Cobain since he is a Seattle legend (I don't really show it because I show him in his costume but normally he would dress in a lot more baggy/worn out clothes). But also I had to include his weird love of sleeveless hoodies because it's actually so funny to me.

And here is my very long-winded explanation of my Absolute Green Arrows back story:

The thing that Oliver Queen would lose is his time on the island, because he doesn't go on the island he never grows from the island, he never becomes Green Arrow; we'll come back to Oliver

Since Oliver doesn't become Green Arrow and fix (some of) the error of his way, he never meets Roy. Instead, Roy stays on the streets of Seattle/ Star City and becomes very in touch with the city's people and their needs. Roy's original backstory doesn't change too much, he still loses his parents and grows up on the Spokane reservation before leaving for the city, so that's where he learns his archery.

Roy ends up getting a job and a shitty apartment and meets Jade (who is still an assassin) but not through some mission. ( I don't know how they meet but I'll come up with it later lol). They have Lian and Jade leaves them making Roy a single father living paycheck to paycheck trying to take care of his daughter.

This is where he ends up as Green Arrow: some real estate company buys his apartment building and wants to demolish it to replace it with much nicer/ more expensive penthouses. Roy decides to do something about it and uses his archery skills from his childhood to take out the heads of the company forcing them to back off the project for a while. After he sees how much this helped not only him and Lian but also everyone in the building with him, he decides to take up the Green Arrow persona officially. As Green Arrow he protects his community from rich assholes trying to take advantage of them just likes Oliver does in the main universe; however, unlike Oliver, Roy is actually in the communities being affected, he excels where Oliver doesn't because the issues he's solving are the issues affecting him.

Here's where Oliver comes into play: when Roy decides to take Lian back to the Reservation to show her where he grew up, he gets there and sees a protest against a pipeline being built straight through the middle of the reservation (similar to the "Return of Roy Harper" storyline in Green Arrow Rebirth). He sees the Queen Industries logo on the building materials and when he gets back home to Seattle/Star City, he does what he always does and takes down the project by taking down the people leading the project. When Oliver finds out that the mysterious Green Arrow that has been terrorizing the rich CEOs around him is now attacking his company, he decides to strike back. Oliver, instead of becoming the Green Arrow, becomes The Dark Archer/Merlin and targets Roy.

I have no idea how Dinah would come into play or if she would come into play, same with the others. I think that Mia could end up becoming Roy's Speedy in a similar way to how she becomes Speedy in the main universe. I think that if Emiko came into play she would be on Oliver's side, same with Conner (although I can also see Oliver teaming up with Roy to stop his father).

Also, Lian doesn't die in this because I'm sick of that little girl getting killed in terrible ways.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

The Beast Wants to Tempt the Little Rabbit (Matias vs Clavis)

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not proofread.

Matias End

(If that's the case, I'll keep things civil.)

Emma: "Then I'll take you up on that offer, Prince Matias."

Matias: "Of course. Since I'm taking your time, I swear to do my best."

(Whoa, the charm radiating from his smile is overwhelming.)

Clavis: "Emma, you made the wrong choice."

Emma: "Your gratitude kinda freaked me out."

Clavis: "And how can you be sure Matias's gratitude won't freak you out?"

Clavis: "Listen, I established the Lelouch family motto for your sake."

Clavis: "Matias's gratitude is torture."

Emma: "That's rude, Prince Clavis."

Clavis: "Rude? Those in the know all agree on this."

Matias: "You always say things like that whenever I try to show my gratitude. I don't understand."

Clavis: "It's me who doesn't understand."

(Clavis is oddly insistent. But is Matias' way of showing gratitude really that weird?)

Matias: "Then, Miss Emma, as a start, let me give you this."

Emma: "..........."

Clavis: "See? This is what happens when you question my good intentions. You better take this to heart, okay?"

The place I chose upon Matias’ request was a cafe in a calm and quiet area of town.

It might not have been a suitable place to take a prince, but Matias didn’t seem to mind and whispered something to one of the guards without any concern.

A few minutes later, he placed a thick book on the table.

It was the law book I had only seen once before in the castle.

Emma: “Is this the law book of Rhodolite?”

Matias: “You have a keen eye. You really are talented.”

Emma: “I studied politics in the past.”

(I never thought I’d see a law book in a cafe.)

Matias: “Excellent. You seem like someone worth teaching.”

Emma: “Teaching?”

Matias: “As a token of my gratitude, I will give you a lecture.”

(!?)

Matias: “Laws are the rules of a country. However, the majority of the citizens are not familiar with them.”

Matias: “Aside from typical offenses like murder, theft, fraud, and disrespect, many people don’t know much about it.”

Matias: “Ignorance of the law might result in you accidentally breaking it and dealing with the consequences.”

Matias: “Furthermore, being familiar with it can protect you from being exploited when facing any form of harm.”

Matias: “Knowing the law is synonymous with protecting oneself.”

(I never considered this before.)

His words made perfect sense, and I found myself nodding along.

Clavis: “Emma, don’t fall for it. Lectures as a form of gratitude? If I did that, you’d complain it's harassment.”

Emma: "I won't complain. I actually enjoy learning new things."

Emma: "He's willing to teach me out of kindness, so I'll take it seriously."

Beside Clavis, who was holding his head in disbelief, Matias also widened his eyes in surprise.

(Why?)

Matias: "This is a first."

Matias: “You’re the first woman to accept my gratitude head-on.”

His smile exuded a melting sensuality.

(His charm is just too much!)

In fact, the women seated nearby were all blushing.

The occasional release of his dangerous charm seemed like it could kill someone.

(I guess hanging out with charming princes like Clavis, Nokto, Jin, and Leon made me develop some kind of tolerance.)

Clavis: “Have you ever wondered why women other than Emma don’t accept your gratitude?”

Matias: “They all said they weren’t interested in law.”

Clavis: “It’s good that you know the reason, but unfortunately, it’s too late now.”

Clavis: “Emma, you’re a rare woman, so I’ll leave the rest to you.”

Emma: “Prince Clavis, where are you going?”

Clavis: “I just remembered something urgent. I’ll pick you up when it’s over.”

Clavis: “I’m counting on you to entertain Matias. Ahahaha!”

(He’s making a run for it.)

Realizing the lecture was boring, Clavis made his escape.

Matias: "I knew this would happen. Clavis hasn't changed much since our school days."

Matias: "Whenever I try to offer my gratitude, he always tries to escape using all sorts of tricks."

Emma: "Did you and Prince Clavis attend the same school?"

Matias: "Yeah. There is a prestigious boarding school in Acroite where nobles from various countries gather."

Matias: "Some of the princes of Rhodolite studied there for a while."

Matias: "Clavis is one of them. I learned a lot of things from him."

Emma: "I had no idea. So, you became friends at school?"

Matias: "That's right. I used to talk a lot with Clavis and Jin."

Matias: "There was a saying back then that Jin was for the chest, Clavis for the thighs, and Matias for the hips."

Emma: "I-I see."

(It probably means Jin likes breasts, and Clavis likes legs.)

(So I guess Matias likes hips?)

I've heard Jin and Clavis talk about women's bodies a few times when we were at the castle, so maybe Matias was also part of that during their student days.

(I'm surprised. He seems far from being a pervert just by his appearance.)

???: "Kyaah!"

As we chatted, we heard a woman scream in the restaurant's doorway.

Before I could grasp the situation, Matias had already sprung into action, vaulting effortlessly over nearby tables and dashing out of the shop.

By the time I got up from my seat, he had already grabbed and twisted the man's hand outside the restaurant.

(He's fast!)

I hurriedly followed him outside.

Man: "Let go of me!"

The man, restrained by Matias, struggled with all his might.

However, Matias' hold remained firm.

He pressed the man against the nearby wall and grabbed him, securing his hand behind his back.

(He seems quite skilled at this.)

Matias: "I saw you dine and dash."

Matias: "While this act doesn't directly correspond to any specific crime in Rhodolite, consuming food or drink without intending to pay constitutes a clear case of fraud."

Matias: "Moreover, pushing aside a woman nearby during your escape could also be considered assault."

Matias: "Therefore, you're guilty. You better cooperate."

(Prince Matias?)

The person who was smiling just a few minutes ago was nowhere to be found.

Instead, his eyes—as cold and icy as snow—pierced sharply through the guilty man.

Even the surrounding onlookers seemed intimidated, showing signs of fear in response to his overwhelming presence.

(He's like a completely different person.)

(The way he looks at criminals and the way he looks at those who aren't are totally different.)

Man: "I had no choice! I was injured, lost my job, and had nothing left to eat."

Man: "If I didn't do this, I would've died."

Matias: "A crime is a crime. Your excuses hold no meaning."

Matias: "If you still wish to make excuses, do so in court."

Matias: "Whatever the reason, the law is something that must never be broken."

Matias: "Criminals have no right to beg for mercy."

(I'm trembling.)

As I clenched my fingertips, our eyes met.

Matias: "You, go get the nearest soldier."

Emma: "U-Understood!"

Coming back to my senses, I quickly left the scene.

Everything Matias said was logical. But for some reason, that logic seemed to stick in my mind.

(What is it that's bothering me?)

Matias: "We had an unexpected interruption, but now we can finally continue."

As we moved from the cafe to another shop, he once again presented the law book to me.

The man who committed the crime continued to plead for mercy even as the soldiers took him away.

It was a sight I couldn't forget.

(Prince Matias remained completely unfazed.)

Shifting my gaze from the law book to Prince Matias, I noticed he no longer wore that cold expression.

The sincere and earnest prince was now offering a lecture solely for my benefit.

(The stark contrast to who he was before caught me off guard.)

(I never imagined he could be so ruthless.)

(I'm not sure who he really is anymore.)

Matias: "Miss Emma."

Emma: "Yes?"

Pulled from the sea of my thoughts, I found him leaning forward, his hand resting gently on my forehead.

Matias: "You seem a bit distracted. You don't seem to have a fever, but if you're feeling unwell, please tell me."

Emma: "No, it's not that!"

(Crap, I spaced out. I need to focus.)

Matias: "Then is there some other reason?"

Emma: "Well..."

Emma: "It's a Rhodolite rule! You have to set aside some time to space out once a day!"

Matias: "I apologize for not being aware of such a rule. I've interfered."

(I ended up making an excuse like Clavis.)

Guilt weighed heavily on my heart.

Matias: "However, this poses a problem."

Matias: "If it's a rule, then I suppose you'll have to endure it for a little longer."

(Huh?)

As I tilted my head in confusion, Matias' face, enveloped in his enticing allure, gradually inched closer.

(What!?)

Part 1 ╎ Part 2 ╎ Matias End ╎ Epilogue

[signfromeywa]

AUNGIA TA EYWA (A SIGN FROM EYWA)

Chapter 11: A threat

Description:

Anastasia Novak is a behavioural scientist tasked with socializing a captive Na'vi on behalf of the RDA. The longer she works with the Na'vi and the closer she gets to him, the more she has to rethink everything she thought she knew and redefine her morals and values. Can she just carry on like this, or will she follow her heart?

Content: Rating +18, Avatar fanfiction, human x Na'vi ship, Na'vi captured

Characters: Human OCs: Anastasia Novak, Steven Turner, Patra// Na'vi OCs: Ean'tu,

Word Count: 3647

❗️English is not my native language! I apologize very much if it reads a bit bumpy here and there.

I’m a German author and this is the first time I’ve tried to translate a story I’m working on into English and upload it. I still hope you enjoy it.❗

"Look, here. There you can set and check the exact temperature of the enclosure." Mr. Turner pointed to a display, one of the many located on the control panel.

The colleague, who was also part of the staff who looked after the technology that controlled the enclosure, looked interested and tried to memorize it exactly. He was a new colleague who had been instructed by Turner.

"The lighting in the enclosure can be controlled from here, as you know, we work with lamps that perfectly imitate the light outside on Pandora." Turner typed on the keypad and called up more detailed information about the lights. "Look here, there are timers that regulate when dawn and dusk start here and when night falls. It's best not to change anything, but if there are any errors and dawn doesn't come on by itself, you can restart the light system from here."

He pressed something again and another window opened. "Here you can also see the exact status of each individual lamp. If one should fail, which hasn't happened yet, or if a lamp should cause problems in general, you can see that here."

Turner turned to his new colleague to see if he had any further questions, but he seemed to have understood everything so far. He nodded with satisfaction.

"What about technical errors?" The man looked at Turner.

"That's what we have the technicians for, we have an internal number that you can use to reach them. They are only responsible for the software and control," explained Turner. "I'll show you the monitoring system, which is in the next room, if you'll follow me."

Turner was about to turn away when the automatic door to the department opened. He turned around to the hiss and froze, momentarily surprised, into a pillar of salt. His coworker looked at him in astonishment as he too turned to look at the visitor and also assumed a tense posture.

"Good evening, Mr. Cornett!" Turner hurried to the boss and shook his hand.

"Mr. Turner, always on duty, I see." Cornett returned the handshake. Behind him stood two soldiers who gave Turner a brief nod of greeting.

"This here is Mr. Petre, recently part of the surveillance unit." Turner introduced him and his colleague also shook Cornett's hand, visibly nervous.

"Evening, sir."

"We can always use new recruits on Pandora, young man." Cornett put on another businesslike smile, which everyone in the room could immediately see was just a polite façade. The man didn't seem to be here for a chat.

"Mr. Petre, you can go down to the airlock, where you will be instructed further, a colleague will be waiting for you. Tell them I sent you." Turner instructed him and the young man nodded eagerly and disappeared from the department, out into the corridor. Visibly relieved to escape the tense situation.

"So, sir, what gives me the honor?" Turner turned his full attention back to his boss. He hadn't actually been around since the last visit. There had been a time when regular visits from Mr. Cornett had not been uncommon, but since Novak had been here, they had stopped.

Now that he saw the boss standing in front of him, the conversation with Novak inevitably came back to him. She had confided in him what the boss expected from Sky. What he imagined Sky would be like in the future. Hopefully the boss wouldn't ask him about Novak's research progress. Because to be honest, he didn't have any more precise information. Novak worked very thoroughly, but also discreetly. She never talked much about her work and what new findings and progress she had made. Apart from the fact that he knew for a fact that she wasn't planning to train Sky, but he couldn't possibly tell Mr. Cornett that.

"I haven't had much opportunity to visit Sky recently and I also wanted to get an accurate overview of how the socialization is progressing." Mr. Cornett stood relatively relaxed, his hands tucked into his suit trousers. He was wearing a shirt and tie, just like Turner, with the difference that the price range was certainly quite different. "Is Dr. Novak present?"

"Yes, sir, you're working in the enclosure right now, would you like to take a look at it from the surveillance room?" Turner asked. It would give him a chance to warn Novak that she was being watched.

The boss made a dismissive gesture. "No, thank you. If Dr. Novak is in the enclosure, I'll go inside as well."

Turner had to restrain himself from opening his mouth at the idea. He knew for a fact that Sky was still hostile to everyone else. If the boss found out, it would immediately become clear that Novak was not trying to socialize the Na'vi to humans. But if he advised Mr. Cornett not to go into the enclosure now, that would be at least as conspicuous.

"I'll take you to the airlock. Dr. Novak is usually with Sky by the big tree," Turner agreed.

"Very nice, I can't wait to see how far along Sky is with his socialization." Mr. Cornett seemed pleased and was escorted out of the department by Turner towards the airlock. Turner wasn't thrilled, in fact he had a real stomachache about the situation. He wanted to support his colleague and stick up for her, but there wasn't much he could do for her at the moment, which he realized to his own regret.

*

Ana took out a small, very makeshift, self-bound book. It only had a few pages, each with short sentences and small pictures. It was a printed children's book. The sentences were simple and the letters were very large, while the printed pictures emphasized the content. It was perfect for beginning readers, which was why Ana had prepared it. Ean'tu had made great progress in English. A few weeks ago they had started teaching him the alphabet and reading to him, but that wasn't enough for the Na'vi, he wanted to learn to read himself. She wasn't quite sure why at first, but at some point she had noticed that he had been observing her behavior. Ana wrote down and documented everything she saw and observed. She also read up a lot, at least everything she had access to on the network. Perhaps this was the reason for Ean'tu's urgent desire to be able to read and possibly write at some point.

"All right, let's see how far we get today." She turned to the first page and handed him the book. She knew the contents by heart, it was a story she had enjoyed reading as a child. "I made the book myself. It's a story from my childhood."

The Na'vi carefully held the book, which still looked awkwardly small in his hands. He looked closely at the letters.

"So you read it as a child too?" he then asked, looking up at her.

"Well, not when I was very little, my grandma read it to me, like I used to do for you, but later, when I could read, I did."

"How old were you when you could read?"

"We learn at school at the age of six." Ana smiled. She thought it was nice that he was so interested in her.

Ean'tu looked at the paper again, "I'll give it a try..." he still seemed unsure. Ana could understand. Back then, as a child, she had also been very unsure when she was supposed to read for the first time. It was actually quite logical, but she still found it difficult.

"Just walk slowly along the letters and then try to understand it." She sat down on the floor in front of him and drew her legs up.

He placed his finger on the page, presumably directly under the letters he wanted to read, then slowly began to read awkwardly. "T h e... The... s... m a l ...l, small... c a t... e r... ..."

"-Caterpillar." Ana helped him.

"Caterpillar... l... there's an a with dots." He turned the book over.

"Oh, that's an i," Ana explained.

"i..." he repeated. She nodded encouragingly. But then Ean'tu's expression changed. His gaze became fixed, his eyes darkened and his body tensed.

"What's wrong?" Ana was worried. He hadn't scowled like that around her for ages. He didn't look at her, but behind her into the enclosure.

"There's that man again... he's coming for us." Ean'tu grumbled and his posture immediately took on something fearful and dismissive. Ana couldn't believe her ears, surprised, she turned around and saw her boss walking through the enclosure towards her. He had soldiers to his right and left for protection, a potential danger to Ean'tu.

But what she didn't understand was what the man was doing and when did he dare to enter the enclosure again? "Ean'tu, please stay calm, I'll sort it out. Please keep a low profile, otherwise we'll get into big trouble." she pressed out quietly.

She had already talked to him once about how they should definitely not speak English in front of others. She didn't want anyone here to know that Ean'tu understood everything that was said around him. It would generally lead to problems.

Mr. Cornett came straight over to her and extended his hand in a very exaggerated friendliness that Ana could not be fooled with.

"Dr. Novak, good to see you again!" he greeted her with a handshake.

"Good evening, Mr. Cornett, what a surprise to see you here." Ana returned the kindness, but no less acted than his.

Mr. Cornett's gaze immediately wandered to Ean'tu, who stood tensely a little further behind Ana and looked back with an almost angry expression. Ana hoped everything would go without incident. She didn't know what she would do in such a case and would Ean'tu blame her for an incident? Would he understand that she wasn't free in her decisions either and was just trying to make the best choices for them both?

"I've heard that you're spending a lot of time in the enclosure. It seems you're making great progress with Sky. Before, there was no thought of going near him." The boss seemed satisfied for the time being, but she suspected it wouldn't be all. "I wonder when you were planning to include me in your training. After all, I want him to be trained on me. He's supposed to protect my person."

Now he looked at Ana again and there was something reproachful in his gaze. Since Ana had a lot of experience with training animals, even if it was nothing like Ean'tu, she knew very well that it made sense to involve the owner and future caregiver in the training.

"Well, I wanted to be completely sure beforehand that Sky was ready and that it was safe for you to approach him freely. We don't want any incidents," explained Ana.

"You're telling me he's still dangerous after all this time?" He became suspicious.

"No sir, that's not what I mean. We're making great progress, but there's still a small residual risk that I didn't want to expose you to."

Mr. Cornett looked at her firmly. "That should also be a decision on my part as to whether I want to take that risk. After all, we have excellent security measures here, so nothing should happen to me even in the event of an attack."

Ana swallowed. This was a tricky situation she found herself in. Everything she said and did was a balancing act. Just one misstep and all her lies and true intentions would come out. Her heart pounded anxiously, but her appearance to her boss remained steadfast and confident.

"Of course sir."

"There you go. I have confidence in your work Dr. Novak, otherwise you wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have come into this enclosure either." he seemed mollified. "I'm by no means afraid, sometimes you just have to take a risk and I'm quite prepared to do that."

He grinned and Ana could hardly believe her ears. She hadn't yet told Ean'tu what her boss had asked Ana to do. What his plan with the Na'vi was. There was no way she could start a supposed training session right now, Ean'tu would never allow that. Not without context and Ana couldn't talk to him about it now either. She had to quickly come up with an excuse to postpone it until tomorrow at the earliest, so that she could enlighten Ean'tu first.

But then her boss did something she hadn't expected and which was completely unexpected. He turned away from the conversation and walked over to Ean'tu. What happened next happened very quickly. Mr. Cornett hadn't even reached Ean'tu when he reacted aggressively. He hissed loudly in his direction, flattened his ears and was about to go towards the boss to attack him, but Ana was just able to intervene.

She didn't want the electric collar to be used, there was no need for it. Ean'tu stood threateningly behind Ana, his red eyes still looking dangerously in the direction of Mr. Cornett, ready to harm him if he took another step closer, or if Ana let him.

"What does that mean?" Her boss was upset, there was almost uncertainty in his voice.

"Please, sir, go back." Ana asked him, stopping Ean'tu from approaching her boss any further.

Unsure, but also angry, he did so. "Why can you be around him, but he's aggressive towards me?" he shouted angrily. "Shouldn't he be socialized to humans?! At least that was your job Novak!"

Ana took a few steps towards her boss and left Ean'tu a little behind, hoping the Na'vi wouldn't do anything rash and trust Ana.

"Mr. Cornett, I assure you that I'll do my best..." she tried to reassure her boss, who didn't seem to want to hear it.

"Your best is not enough in this case! You've been in this department and working with Sky for quite a while now! How can it be that he still shows such great distrust of humans? No, even aggressive and dangerous behavior! It doesn't do me any good if Sky is only peaceful with you! I can't do anything with that!" He was slowly turning red with anger.

Ana continued to approach him, trying to appease him. Now she had to get creative to calm things down. She either hit the bull's eye or was completely off the mark, but she tried. "Sky is very traumatized by his experiences, because completely wrong methods were used on him for a long time, so it takes longer to socialize him than when you try to do it with a small dog."

"I don't give a FUCK if he's traumatized or not! I want you to get a handle on this!" He approached her threateningly. "I swear to you Novak, I'm an impatient man who can't guarantee anything!"

As he said this, he stood close to her and she flinched a little as he shouted in her face. He had clearly threatened her and she was starting to get scared. When he raised his hands in anger to gesticulate angrily, Ana closed her eyes in fear and ducked away. Experiences from her past had made her react reflexively.

"STOP !" Ana's eyes suddenly widened as she heard Ean'tu shout.

The boss faltered and also looked in total surprise and disbelief at the Na'vi who now came over to Ana. "Don't you dare touch Ana!" Ean'tu pulled Ana protectively towards him.

He had a defensive stance, every muscle of Ean'tu was tense, Ana felt his grip tighten on her shoulder. She was glad that he refrained from attacking and concentrated more on protecting Ana.

Her boss stared in disbelief for a moment, as did the soldiers. They first had to understand what they were seeing and come to terms with the situation. No one had expected this.

But their boss came to his senses relatively quickly. "Hard to believe, so that's how it is." He had a sardonic grin on his lips. "You taught Sky to speak. I should have expected that."

Ana didn't quite understand. She had fully expected that if this came out, her boss would be terribly angry, maybe even fire her immediately for not being transparent about it. "I don't understand." she held onto Ean'tu's arm unsteadily.

"You're a renowned behavioral scientist and behavioral psychologist, sooner or later you had to figure out the true nature of the Na'vi." He crossed his arms and his grin faded. "Still, it doesn't excuse you for lying to me. Your reports to me were obviously not complete!"

Ana's grip tightens guiltily. It was not her way to work dishonestly, this had happened out of necessity. However, she would not apologize for it.

"Now that they know that Sky is not an simple animal, you know very well that you can appeal to his reason. Dr. Novak, you obviously have a good relationship with him, in whatever way I don't really care, it will only be of use to me. You seem to be important to the Na'vi and let's see how far he would go for you."

An icy shiver ran down Ana's spine. Mr. Cornett wanted to exploit her bond with Ean'tu so that he would submissively do whatever her boss wanted. He would blackmail Ean'tu emotionally. She hadn't expected this and her stomach immediately turned at the realization. Ana could feel Ean'tu's tension, was he aware of what this man was talking about? What did this mean for Ean'tu?

Mr. Cornett now looked up at the Na'vi. "Listen to me carefully Sky. I'm not going to do anything about the fact that you seem to be very fond of Dr. Novak. You can stay together, but only on one condition."

Ana could literally feel Ean'tu's pulse rising in anger. He was literally boiling and she knew he was holding back for her sake. Who knows what he would have done without her influence. "Tell me," he hissed angrily.

The boss grinned maliciously again. "I have an important meeting next month and I want you to walk nicely on a leash by my side as my watchdog. I want you to show absolute obedience. I want your complete submission to me."

Ean'tu didn't understand everything that was said, due to the still slight language barrier that affected some words, but he understood the core message. He gritted his teeth and set his ears angrily. He was ready to attack the boss once again. "Who would submit to a sky person, you're nothing but filth!" he hissed.

" Na na, not in that tone, we don't want me to have to resort to harsher measures." he pointed at Ana. "You have time to think it over until the day of the event and Dr. Novak."

Now he looked at her again. "If you don't manage to get Sky to do exactly what I want him to do and there's even the slightest incident at the event, I'll terminate you and send you back to Earth, do we understand each other? Then you two will never see each other again!" He looked back and forth between Ean'tu and Ana one last time. Then he simply turned around, took the path to the airlock and unleashed his threat on the two of them.

Ana felt like she couldn't breathe. She desperately tried to take a few deep breaths without gasping and panicking. She felt really sick and her eyes crinkled slightly, as if she was almost blacking out.

Ean'tu immediately crouched down to her. "Ana, ey, take it easy," he said in his pleasant, warm voice, which was trembling with uncertainty itself, to calm her down.

He stroked Ana's head lovingly and held her tightly so that she wouldn't fall over. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault, I couldn't control myself even though you warned me."

Now Ana looked up and her eyes became slightly watery. "Don't say nonsense like that. None of this is your fault."

Ean'tu looked at her sympathetically and she felt so ridiculous herself. He was suffering just as much, if not more, from this situation as Ana. If her boss sent her back to Earth, Ana could just go on with her normal life, but Ean'tu would still be trapped here and then all alone. He must be terrified of losing Ana and yet he was surprisingly calm in contrast to her. Only his nervous wandering and twitching ears betrayed his inner turmoil.

"It's my fault that we're in this situation now. It was never my intention to get close to you to make you vulnerable. Our friendship was born out of honest intentions, I really like you."

"I know, I can feel that you are sincere with me." Ean'tu smiled at her. "Out in my homeland, I could protect you from everything! You wouldn't have to be afraid... Unfortunately, I can't help you in here..." he sounded dejected.

"I don't want you to be humiliated because of me..." Ana said more quietly now, a little calmer again. The Na'vis' presence had calmed her down a little and Ana could slowly breathe again.

"I would do anything if I could have you with me. I don't want to lose you..." He looked at her lovingly and took Ana's hand in his. "As long as I do what they want me to do, they won't hurt me and I get to be with you... that's a price I'm willing to pay."

Ana fought back her tears and bit her lower lip. She felt so guilty and instrumentalized. The fact that she was now being used to force Ean'tu to do exactly what they wanted him to do made her so incredibly angry. Ana could do nothing but watch, it felt terrible. "I won't leave you alone, I promise. Never!"

He nodded. "I trust you." Then he took her in his arms and hugged her lovingly. Ana snuggled into his embrace. No matter what happened, she would stand by him, come what may.

Tag list: @twisteduniverse5 @yukilaaw @mooniequeen @anemonelovesfiction @talialobi @gimmebones715 (If you want to get added, comment it under the post)

[tbcu-directors]

Welcome back, everyone~! 💥

Happy pride month! Been a while since our last update, hasn't it? Had a huge cast revamp since then! Well, maybe not huge, but Soren and Mors sure did change some stuff up with their projects. Nebula too, but that's less significant.

So let's see, what's all the craze right now?

First off, our catalogue of characters has expanded to almost 400! For the sake of advertising, we can just bump that up and ignore that it's actually a few off. A few characters have dropped off here and there, but we've been on an overall upward trend! Good job, everyone! Our cast list can be viewed here, for anyone interested!

At the moment, most of our spice has been stored in our spinoff series, TBCU Fakecord. The shared body gang drama, Elias and Saige's divorce arc, Maruf and Rook drama, some stuff with Tethys and their weird pet robot, and of course the usual shenanigans. I believe there was some kind of fight there yesterday! Something about some bandages getting stolen and a missing cane... pretty entertaining, if you ask me! Go check it out! May be a spinoff, but it's definitely worth your time! Pinky promise!

Back to the canon... it's @daydreamer-tennis-ball's birthday today! Happy birthday, Salvador! That one's gotten us quite a lot of views, especially with those "punishments" he just loves to dish out. It was also the birthday of @inventor-tennis-ball's dead friend a few days back, and tomorrow is... hm. I'm not sure whose birthday that is. Probably just a printing error. Moving on.

The shared body gang in general seems to be the big thing right now. @shared-body-tennis-ball hasn't interacted with many in person yet, but their interactions with each other sure have been amusing! We have Jekyll, a 19 year old girl who died in 2010 (who is, somehow, the most sane one here); Faust Lacan, a 24 year old from the Victorian era (who may or may not be involved with a few gods, teehee~); Hyde Tremblay, a 26 year old who died in 2005 (who is totally completely normal and fine, trust them!); and Victor Dusza, a 38 year old who also died in 2005 (who is definitely completely trustworthy and not insane in the slightest). It seems most of their interactions have been Victor and Faust causing issues with their instability, Jekyll trying to meditate the situation, and Hyde just being there along for the ride. Good for them! Very excited to see if they'll manage to get themselves under control, or if they'll all be this much of a wreck until it leads them to their deaths! Shoutout to them for killing a man, by the way.

The Forcefeminizer has also been showing up around now! @forcefeminizer-tennis-ball has been going door to door, hunting down those in need of their services and talking them into accepting their identities as a woman. Quite a good service if you ask me. I know there's many members of our audience who have been yelling at their screens telling their favorite characters to transition. They've currently stopped by @shared-body-tennis-ball, @tennisballexecutioner, @tennis-ball-with-a-knife, and @idoltennisball.

And of course, the most important, hottest, latest event for last (totally not because I forgot until now): everyone's favorite, Want has returned! Timothy Tinklebottom had to give up their life to ensure their safe return to her homeland, and now poor Sybil has been left without the one who helped him through those 5 years apart from The House. How exciting! It seems her return brought more drama too: notably, a certain "[ NAME REDACTED ]" has been seen interacting with mortals. She's claiming to be a banished god making their return, but no one seems to recognize her. You can follow all of that on @i-want-tennis-ball, @cellist-tennis-ball (a vessel for [ NAME REDACTED ] now, it seems), @hojywhiiv-gqdvwag (hmm, wonder who that is?), @timothytinklebottom (nothing but a corpse now, how sad), and @deceitful-tennis-ball.

That's all I have to highlight for now! If our viewers want my thoughts on anything else, go and give our team a shout! Director Tamari, signing off! Toodles~!