#esp one with multiple light sources like this one

[zipmode]

My Tav Conviction in their final armor... I love when I get to put my frail little spellcasters into heavy armor. Close up pics under the cut ^_^

[foldingfittedsheets]

I have never had a post-coital headache, but I saw the ask and it made me think...

Orgasming using a vibe hurts my clitoris. It doesn't even touch my clit because it uses airwaves or something to vibrate the air around the clit, not sure. And I don't enjoy vibrators that touch the clit because it just doesn't feel like anything pleasurable? I can't explain it but it doesn't feel good or bad just kinda numbs me.

I'll be getting bottom surgery to nullify my crotch someday, so I guess it doesn't matter much, since I can limp along till then. I'll be tucking the clitoris and the nerve bundle under some skin and tissue and hopefully the padding will help offset the pain (and I could finally use those cute giant wand vibrators with the big buzzy ball), but I'm just asking in case you have ever heard of this and are willing to respond on your blog.

For the record, I don't enjoy using my hands on my clit, doesn't feel good and dysphoric and bothers my asexuality (I don't like touching genitals at all and the wetness feels icky). I grew up using the pressure and squeeze method. Basically ball up a blanket, press it to my pubis, and then do a very prolonged, overpowered kegel and there you go (kinda tiring tho). I didn't even know I had a clit growing up, always assumed it was the urethra because it hurt to touch (turns out it's supposed to be wet, thanks homeschooling for the lack of sex ed).

So I use the vibrator but I hate the vibrator. The moments before the orgasm is just so painful. And I have to immediately turn it off because the continued vibration causes even more pain and makes my muscles clench up in response which makes it very difficult to pull the toy away from my body. When using it with my partner I have to "tap out" and she'll pull it away for me.

I low-key believe the multiple orgasms for clit+pussy based anatomy is a myth because how could it possibly feel good to touch there once the orgasm has happened? Sometimes I can't close my legs completely for minutes. That shit is so sensitive and like swollen? Throbbing? Why?!?

I theoretically like orgasms. I like the quiet feeling after them. But getting there sucks, masturbating is unpleasant (apparently normal people enjoy the whole process, I'm just there for the afterglow), esp when it's a maintenance orgasm and I'm not horny or physically aroused (sometimes I just think that I need to orgasm without really wanting to if that makes sense, weird ace shit).

This ask is longer than I hoped it would be, but there's lots of important context and I honestly don't know why my body is like this, Google is useless (esp nowadays).

Okay there’s a ton to touch on here, but first: vibes are not one size fits all. Everyone’s body’s are different and motors come in different powers and pulses. The “cute” massage wand types are actually some of my least favorite because they just go cataclysmic in power which is way too much for 90% of clits. They just have good marketing.

If possible, you can look for a gentler vibe. Jimmy Jane Form 2 has a pulse setting that’s reallyyyyy light, and puts vibrations on either side of the clit instead of directly on it. But there’s a lot of shapes and sizes that could be gentler than what you’re using now.

If you’re unsure check out a store and try the vibe on the tip of your nose. This is pretty close to how sensitive your clit is and can give you a frame of reference for how much power you actually want. Generally lower rumbles are more expensive but also more pleasant so that’s a cost/benefit you can run.

The other aspect of this is that clitoral tissue is actually massive. There’s a lot of stuff going on under the hood, so to speak.

Clitoral nerves get everywhere! That’s the whole thing with G-spots- you’re still hypothetically applying pressure to nerve endings associated with the clit. I’ve heard anecdotally that they can end up in the anus too but I couldn’t find a source to verify that.

The takeaway from how sprawling all those nerves are is that there’s probably places you might like sensation better that directly on the clit. Most clit havers in my experience found that pretty overwhelming, myself included.

If your main business with your junk has been businesslike and unpleasant to touch it makes sense not messing with it much. If your partner is a person you trust to explore with you can just have them feel around and caress and see if other areas feel stimulating without being as overwhelming.

As for getting so throbby and uncomfortable afterward, and multiple orgasms: In my experience and anecdotally this depends how you get there. When you come fast and hard your body reacts differently than when you edge into an orgasm. You can try changing up your routine to see if this makes a difference for you.

Some people can never do multiple orgasms, it’s rare for me but does happen on occasion, so it’s worth noting that smut has a lot to answer for in terms of how normal they make that. If you can’t get off more than once it is what it is. It’s not a myth but it’s not everyone’s reality.

I hope this was helpful, good luck and as you say, eventually after surgery this will get easier for you!

[weekend-whip]

Now I’m thinking about the little funny intricacies of their elements. Can Cole control, like, dust? Can he make sandy water not-sandy? Can Bolobo control fungi, and in turn, control small insects with said fungi? (Refer to Ophiocordyceps unilateralis). Where do the lines between lightning, electricity, and energy blur? Who controls plasma? How much does Griffin Turner eat with how many carbs he’s burning? What are Tox’s poisons made of and can they be engineered into something beneficial (like how coffee was supposed to be a plant’s defense mechanism but we turned it into profit)? Can Karlof control metal-alloys, raw material, or only pre-smelted and manufactured metals? Does Neuro get headaches a lot? How would Shade manage in an environment with multiple light sources and weird shadows? Brb gonna think of more

Can Cole control, like, dust?: If it's, like, legitimate dirt dust, yes. "Dust" made from, say, human particles would be beyond him

Can he make sandy water not-sandy?: Yes. Nya could also make the sand not-watery under that logic.

Can Bolobo control fungi-: Yes

-And in turn, control small insects with said fungi? (Refer to Ophiocordyceps unilateralis): ....yes, only because I love me a chance to incorporate those mind-controlled insect zombies *-*)9 (hey gamers, play Bug Fables while I'm on this soap box)

Where do the lines between lightning, electricity, and energy blur?: Boom badabing baby, but in short, lightning/electricity are treated as the same thing, and while energy can be lightning, lightning cannot always be energy. It's like a square-rectangle thing. Energy has more forms it can take and different ways it can power things, as opposed to lightning/electricity being only able to power electrical things specifically.

Who controls plasma?: Control of Plasma can be obtain via a perfect combination of Lightning and Fire. However, too much Fire will yield Light; too much Lightning will yield Speed. Plasma itself is not an Element, however, just a fusion: similar to Water + Lightning manifesting the Hydroelectric dragon, or Fire + Water manifesting that combo dragon. Kai and Jay would theoretically get, like, a Plasma dragon ;P

How much does Griffin Turner eat with how many carbs he’s burning?: A LOT, even more than Jay admittedly

What are Tox’s poisons made of and can they be engineered into something beneficial (like how coffee was supposed to be a plant’s defense mechanism but we turned it into profit)?: Can't give a specific answer on Tox's poisons cuz I'm still researching it up for legitimacy (esp for S2 and S4) but yes, they can be engineered into a "beneficial poison" with enough work—like a medicine, or something of the sort.

Can Karlof control metal-alloys, raw material, or only pre-smelted and manufactured metals?: Like Tox, still tweaking this one out. Metal alloys and raw material would seem to fall under his umbrella though, just off the top of my head.

Does Neuro get headaches a lot?: Yes, and especially when he first got his powers

How would Shade manage in an environment with multiple light sources and weird shadows?: Badly, like having some extremely shady vertigo

[elfwreck]

Hello, finding a lot of interesting posts on your blog and hope you are doing well! Anyway, i had some questions about fanlore and was wondering if i could ask you or get pointed to someone else. Mostly about like, what to post, like notoriety, if that changes based on if it's the "right" vs. the "wrong" type of fandom to be associated with fanlore. And also some stuff about adding or quoting stuff you're involved in but that's less of a big deal and more fiddly.

Adding stuff you're involved in is fine. Just be aware that other people might edit later, and if there are controversies, that might include editing in ways that don't put your participation in a good light. We encourage people to add stuff they know, and in fandom, that's often "stuff I'm directly involved in." The biggest issue here is privacy - we've got some complicated rules about maintaining privacy; we discourage connecting people's usernames with real names unless it's directly relevant (and sometimes not even then). And sometimes we separate usernames on one platform from usernames on another one. (If you have permission from the people involved, then multiple names are fine.)

Post EVERYTHING we want it ALL anYtHinG iS GoOd. Don't care how good the language is. We have a regular editor whose native language is not English and she translates with Google Translate and posts that way and someone goes through later and cleans up the phrasing AND WE LOVE THIS.

We don't have a "notability" standard like Wikipedia. We don't have a "citation needed" thing, although info without sources may wind up being rephrased into "some fans claim that..." instead of phrased like an absolute fact.

If you and two friends made an 8-page zine that you printed on the school printer and handed out to about 12 people... that's worth a Fanlore page. If you planned to make a zine, and had a name and a template and two volunteer artists and a theme and you got some comments, but it never happened... that is also worth a page.

There's some weirdness around "what kind of fandom do we cover?" Theoretically, anything is welcome; in practice, we're not covering mainstream sports fandoms (y'know, the guys who dress up in blue & yellow facepaint and wear giant foam fingers) and we're edging around classic sci-fi convention-ish literary fandom. (We have some of that. But we're not trying to recreate or override Fancyclopedia's work.) We're also not trying to overlap tvtropes, which gets more complicated to sort out, because we do cover a lot of the same topics, but we have a different focus for them.

For myself, I'd love to see

More video game fandom coverage, esp related to mods, controversies/dramas, and the screaming that happens every time a company releases a remake on a new platform for more than the original. Also speedrunning info.

More conventions, especially media-fandom/fanfic-ish conventions

Fannish trends on TikTok

Cosplay. Lots of cosplay. We are missing so much info on the history & trends of cosplay.

Pages for modern zines and pages for the processes involved in making them. (When I got into fandom, there were no "interest check/ mod applications/ contributor applications" etc. phases.)

Everything that's going on in Discord OMG we are missing SO DAMN MUCH FANDOM that is only happening in closed communities that you can't even search the names of and they're all gonna fuckin' VANISH when Discord does some weird fannish purge thing.

Updating older/early pages with new info for those fandoms, or new ways their common tropes connect to new fandoms.

Also, we always need submissions and voting on the Featured Article Nominations. Anyone can suggest. Anyone can vote.

...as you might be able to tell, I can talk about this AT LENGTH IN GREAT DETAIL.

[asgardian--angels]

Have you heard the news about Till yet? Does it ruin the band for you anyhow? I've only found out about it 2 hours ago and I'm pretty stunned :/

Hey sorry for the delay in replying to this! Yes I've been following the various goings-on. I've stayed out of the discussion on it mostly because I really don't care that much - I'm way past the point in my life where I get so attached to bands that any news of 'gasp! Male rock star is shitty to women!' would have me sobbing on the floor. I mean, my favorite band was Korn for many years, enough said lmao.

Having taken in the various perspectives, news sources, and other insights from fans, it's looking very likely that Till did not actually engage in this behavior for the particular circumstance he is being accused of. I'd be surprised if he'd really go so far as to do all of that. There appear to be multiple witnesses that deny the accuser's claims. I don't inherently take sides on this stuff, I just try to judge whatever facts are available. Rammstein is a well-oiled machine with a huge crew that try to regulate their events and make it safe for everyone. That doesn't mean things can't happen, esp when Till has separate afterparties than the rest of the band, but they've been at this for almost 30 years with very few issues.

Is Till shitty to women? Often, and I'd call him a sex addict, and from what I understand in the past several years he hasn't been surrounded with great people outside the band (i.e. his solo stuff) and they've enabled or fed the worse parts of him. He has seemingly cultured an environment around himself - largely separate from the rest of the band, at least at present - where he can engage in his preferred activities. I don't agree morally with a lot of the things he does (hell, I can't stomach most of his solo project music videos), but that's nothing new, because while he may honestly be worse on this front than in the past, he's always been like this.

But in this particular circumstance, I'm inclined to say the media is spiraling this way out of control. I hate the entire culture surrounding rock band afterparties, older men seeking out young groupies, and Rammstein's 'Row 0' antics. I'd like an outcome of this whole thing to be that they stop doing that once and for all, given that the band is in their 50s and for Till, 60s. But even with whatever headspace Till has been in recently, he has a great love and respect for his fellow band members who are like family to him - and I need not expound upon just how monumentally stupid and detrimental it would be for the whole band for him to have done something illegal here. The last time he was arrested (along with Flake) was in 1998 for one of their stage acts - he's been clean otherwise (and that whole thing was idiotic anyway on the part of the MA police), and that is a testament to his carefulness and desire to not impact the band and the lives of the band members. He got pyro certified to design their stage acts and ensure the safety of everyone during their shows after an accident in 1996 - he's a man that shows commitment and perseverance, and he is very intelligent.

This entire thing has had a massive impact on the rest of the band, with some people relating it to the Mutter era where the band was having major disagreements and almost broke up - but there, they got through it stronger with a better understanding of each other and how to work together. I do feel Till is not in a great place mental health-wise, and needs to surround himself with better people re: his entourage and personal&professional friends outside of the band, and his antics in general sometimes cast a poor light on Rammstein. I hope this whole thing forces some re-examination by Till of his lifestyle, because he himself often doesn't seem very happy (without me reading any further into things I know nothing about). I think he's treated women poorly in these environments from a ~just being shitty~ point of view, undoubtedly. But ultimately, I don't think he committed the illegal activities he's been accused of in this instance.

I hate how much of this has become about taking sides, like hashtag 'I stand with Rammstein' or whatever. I don't stand with or against anyone - I think this sucks for the rest of the band being put through this no matter the outcome, I think it will have a lasting impact on the dynamics of the band and their interpersonal relationships, and I'm glad it sheds light on Row 0 and various shitty practices that Rammstein and many bands have engaged in.

Groupies will always exist, and so aging male rockstars will probably always do this sort of stuff - plenty of female fans welcome it, seeing as no one is forced to accept an invitation to an afterparty, and any Rammstein fan who finds themselves in Row 0 knows what it's about. In general, I hear overwhelmingly positive experiences about fans meeting Till and if he was consistently poor-mannered I doubt people would hold good opinions of him. The band's made it clear (via Scheider's recent statement) that any guest is welcome to leave these environments if they're uncomfortable and will be chaperoned by security. They have a huge crew of 100+ people making sure everything runs smoothly. There are changes that I think should be made to separate and/or regulate Till's private parties (or better yet, don't have them), and I personally will never understand going to these parties, but that's just me. Less than great experiences can and do happen at those parties, but that's a far cry from criminal acts. I think Till goes way overboard much of the time esp when left to his own devices, but being a lewd ass is again, not the same as forced coercion.

Personally, I honestly just think this is a shitty way to go out, seeing as the band is taking a hiatus after this tour and I get that nagging feeling we may not see them again for a long time, or ever, at least in terms of new albums or concerts (they do have a dvd coming out in a year or two). Rammstein has always tried to shock people with controversy, but not in ways like this. Various media outlets love to jump on this band, waiting for them to slip up on anything. Even if all charges are cleared, which it's shaping up that they will, much of the damage was done to Till's reputation, with multiple collaborations dropped/promos cancelled. I hope this gives him pause and a chance to re-examine where he's at in life, and that his fellow band members can help him find support where he needs it. Again, I don't defend Till, and I don't deny shitty things may happen at afterparties. But I'm weathered when it comes to rock scandals and I try hard to stay out of the personal lives of band members. So to me whatever happens happens and I just want some lessons to be learned for all involved.

[bellesowl]

head over heels

- multiple characters

⤷ kuroo, iwaizumi, atsumu, sakusa 

genre: fluff!! ; established relationship

synopsis: in which they realize how head over heels they are for you

word count: 1.4k total :))

warnings: very very slight manga spoilers in iwa’s, i kinda curse a little

- a/n: hi! this is very very late for valentines but i wanted to post it anyways! also, this is very cheesy but when is anything i write not cheesy anyways? & please, i literally write for the same four people BYEE. oh & thank u @omisluvr for beta-ing this ily mwah

- kuroo tetsurou

he falls for your quick wit & intelligence 

we all know that kuroo is known for his wit and for being a big, big nerd LMAOAKJSC 

i think he would appreciate a s/o who’s on his level academically & could compete with him, esp cause he’s so competitive

and we know how quick with his words this man is- it’s probably one of the reasons tsukishima actually listens to this mf tbh

i feel like he would want a s/o who could bite back and put him in his place every once in a while

probably finds it super hot 

“tetsurou!” you yell, glaring at him. 

he raises his hands in alarm, amusement and mischief swimming in his eyes. he had embarrassed you in front of the whole class, immediately correcting you when you claimed that the reaction on the board was an endothermic reaction when in reality, it was an exothermic reaction. sure, he was right, but he didn’t have to point it out like that!

“what?” he questions, “it’s not my fault you lacked docosapentaenoic acid when you were a child.” he finishes with a smug smirk on his face. 

the scowl on your face morphs into a smirk at his words and his own falls at your face. “i think you mean docosahexaenoic acid, oh wise one?” you ask, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

he recovers quickly, yelling about how easy it is to mistake the two. at your laugh, he realizes just how lucky he and whipped he is for you because this? he wouldn’t trade this for the world.

- iwaizumi hajime 

he falls for your independence 

lord knows that having to deal with oikawa practically all his life + the seijoh third years, my man would not be able to deal with a s/o who is super dependent on him

sure, he finds it cute when you’re being clingy & want a hug or a kiss but someone who constantly insecure or is just overall emotionally dependent on him - i feel like it would be a slight turnoff 

now, if you feel insecure, tell him because he would also def appreciate your honesty and that wouldn’t necessarily be seen as a problem

it becomes a problem when you push all your problems onto him and expect him to fix it

but a s/o who can work out their problems on their own but still comes to him for advice and support?

yeah, he’s def in love

you hear a knock on your door and quickly move to open it, hoping it’s who you think it is.

“hey love,” hajime sighs as you usher him into your home, “i’m so sorry i’ve been so busy lately, with volleyball and all the extra applications to be able to move to the states, it’s been a lot.”

you nod, understanding written on your face. “don’t worry about it babe, i get it! do you need any help with anything?”

he shakes his head, instead choosing to wrap his arms around you, nuzzling his nose in your hair and breathing in your intoxicating scent. “being with you is enough. i really am sorry though, did you need anything?”

you shift slightly, guiding him over to the couch and cuddling up to him there, “all i need is this, hajime.”

he kisses the top of your head and while you both talk about everything and nothing, and it hits him that this is it. you’re it for him - because when he’s with you, he feels like he’s home.

- miya atsumu 

he falls for your unrelenting support

i think we all know that atsumu was left out a lot as a kid & i think that one of his biggest fears is that his loving s/o secretly prefers his brother like everyone else

so he probably tries to scare you off by showing his ugly side first- like constantly arguing with you or canceling dates in favor of an extra hour or two of volleyball practice- and you stay? 

he realizes that no matter what, you won’t leave him

“oi! what are ya still doin’ here, slug?” osamu yells, walking into the gym.

“what do ya think? havin’ a tea party?” atsumu quips back, annoyed that his brother interrupted his practice. 

osamu grabs a ball by his feet and chucks it at his brother. “do ya even know what time it is?” at atsumu’s look of confusion he decides that you’re too good for his idiot brother. “it’s already past 8, you’re late for yer movie date with y/n.”

atsumu’s eyes widen and osamu rolls his eyes at his brother’s frantic form, trying to clean up and get out of there as quickly as he can. “just go, i’ll stay to clean up.” osamu sighs, “but you owe me onigiri for a week!” 

back at your house, you’re sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for your boyfriend- who’s late, again. you jump at the frantic knocks at your front door and you open it to a very sweaty, very disheveled atsumu. 

“shit sorry babe! i left my phone on the bleachers and lost track of time but-” you cut him off with a kiss. his eyes widen before fluttering shut. 

“go shower, tsumu- you stink!” you laugh at his scowl “we can probably still get a couple movies in before my parents get back home.” 

he nods, “i really am sorry babe. i didn’t mean to come late, i just got so caught up in my serves and sets and i-”

“it’s fine love, you have to practice to get better, i understand. i would never tell you to skip out on something so important to you when you make sure to come see me in the end anyway.” you interrupt him, “and besides, i love to brag about how my boyfriend is one of the best setters in the nation” you add with a wink. 

he gives you a peck on the cheek before heading towards your bathroom, thinking about how lucky he is to have you by his side. he decides that this will be the last time he’s late because god forbid he does something to ruin something as precious as this. 

- sakusa kiyoomi

he falls for your respectful and understanding attitude

my poor baby

probably had to deal with getting so much shit for his germophobic preferences 

so when you guys started dating he def asked you to respect his boundaries 

and when you did without questioning him?? or making fun of him?? 

he was shocked because even his own cousin would have something to say about his proclivity for extreme cleanliness

you walk into the huge stadium, eyes searching for a mop of black hair, slightly terrified of getting lost. out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of neon green & yellow.

“komori!” you yell, hoping he could hear you over the excited chatter all around. you see him whip his head around, trying to find the source of the sound. you yell a couple more times, jumping up and down like a lunatic. he finally spots you and smiles, walking over.

“oh, hey! are you here for kiyoomi?” he asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes, already leading you over to where your boyfriend is, “but i have no clue why you would look for him in the middle of the floor. don’t you know your boyfriend by now?”

you slap him lightly on the arm but excuse yourself when you see your boyfriend hiding in the corner with the most hateful glare on his face. as you walk away and towards him, you notice komori walking over to a tall, dark-haired boy. that must be the setter omi was telling me about, you think. you brush it off, deciding you’d bring it up another time and you tap your boyfriend lightly. the glare he gives you almost makes you want to drop dead right there but you notice how his eyes soften and his overall demeanor brightens.

he pulls you towards him, surprising you and everyone watching, and mumbles into your ear, “i thought you had a tutoring session?”

you pull back slightly and notice how he leans down, practically asking for a kiss. you peck his cheek before giggling, “i wanted it to be a surprise! are you surprised? did you miss me?”

he rolls his eyes before pulling down his mask and kissing you properly. “yes and ... yes” he answers, a light blush apparent on his cheeks.

“awwww! you have a crush on me!!! no, you looove me!! that’s so embarrassing!!” you laugh and he shakes his head but silently agrees because yeah, if the permanent butterflies and erratic heartbeat are any indications, he does love you. and he doesn’t plan on stopping for the rest of your lives.

[adhduskull]

Bro danny phantom is so cool n stuff, infodump man!!!! Just,, yeet ur feelings about it. I love fanart n stuff of danny so gimy ur thoughts on it!!!

!!!!

Well, so first off I have a whole sideblog for it @superphlyduskull :3c if ur interested

Second this is straight up like. The most invested I've ever been in a fandom tbh, it's the first time I've posted anything and the first time I've attempted fanfiction!! (tho I haven't finished or posted anything yet) I recently thought up a headcanon that ghosts see more of the light spectrum than we do and that thats also how they become invisible, by only reflecting light humans can't see. I'd like to make a little fic abt it I think! Maybe one where a bunch of bugs follow him around bc I think it'd be cute

I think what really gets me about this fandom is the potential for worldbuilding. The show did close to fuck all in terms of exploring its own lore, but there were hints everywhere of how the world might work, and it's SO FUN to play with!! It leads to so many interpretations that are all equally plausible! Plus the huge amount of AUs inspired just by the source material... the way it lends itself to crossovers super easily as well, considering Clockwork has sent Danny into a different universe in the show (yknow, to stop the timeline where his family and friends and teacher die because he cheated on a test, eventually leading to him destroying the world...... there are some interesting morals in the show)

The angst potential is also insane, and I'm actually interacting with angst a lot more in this fandom than I usually would bc its so beautifully handled a lot of the time. Between identity reveals going wrong and the Guys in White getting a hold of him and Vlad being a shitbag to Danny being the GHOST KING

Ghost King Danny is probably one of my favorite AUs, I think partially bc its really fun to explore how insane it is for poor Danny to be saddled with this huge responsibility, and also to see how much power that gives him? Like on the one hand thats too much for a kid his age to handle and I feel like I might be projecting a bit since I was responsible for more than I would've liked from a young age, but also it reeeally spices up identity reveal scenarios and can save him too much grief in others bc depending on the take, a huge amount of the ghost zone has his back!! Like uhhh No, you are NOT going to mess with our King, [insert possible antagonist here]

It's also super fun to think of what ghost culture might be like, as well as just how ghosts work! We see glimpses in the show, but again, nothing is explored much? I love the universally accepted headcanon that ghosts have a vital organ called a core (though how it works varies greatly from person to person), and the idea that there are multiple ways a ghost forms (like from a being dying, or just forming from ectoplasm and strong emotions or big concepts, or being straight up born??). I've also seen the idea that a lot of ghosts don't really mean harm to Danny and that ghost culture is generally more violent bc they're not as squishy as humans!

Also!! There's gonna be a new graphic novel which is sick as hell! We don't know much more than that, but hopefully Nickolodeon doesn't mess too much with the creative team, because I'm really interested to see where they take it (especially since I think bitch fartman doesn't have any say in decisions? I'm not sure on that tho). Either way it's new content and I'm excited to see where the fandom goes with it too!

I have also realized the reason I don't infodump much is because I'm terrible at explaining things and trip over my words and am hard to follow lmao, particularly in person. You'd think that as an actor I'd be a little better with words but naaah lmao. I need to rehearse them for them to come out right apparently

Anyway idk how coherent that was but if u ever want to hear me ramble about dp feel free to send me more asks! Esp on my sideblog, I'm Always down down yell abt it!! Thank u for sending me that ask btw, it was really nice to do a bit of infodumping!!!💜💜💜

[jostenneil]

I'm honestly okay with abusive Bruce, or a Bruce that isn't the best parent period, because at this point it's not like it doesn't have basis from the source material. And even in the parallel universe it doesn't...good dads don't rope their tenth grade kids into fighting crime at night. I just get annoyed with the consensus that Batman should be this super dad simply because he's a superhero. But I also get annoyed with the idea that the Batfamily should be this Brady Bunch in spite of the grievances or even apathy they should in some cases have with each other.

(cont.) And yeah one can argue that "it's comics you aren't supposed to take it too seriously" in regards to Batman bringing in a kid to help him out, but...the second Robin was beaten with a crowbar and locked in an exploding warehouse. The fourth was beaten to death. The third was stabbed with a sword taller than his whole body. And even without them, Batman goes up against serial murderers regularly. The silver age is over, one can't just pick and choose what and what not to take seriously at this point

i mean i get what you're saying esp with the second ask but i think you have to take into account that jason was killed so brutally to begin with bc starlin hated the concept of robin and wanted to defy the super and sidekick conventions of the genre by killing him. like on the most literal level, yes, it's unrealistic for kids to be sent out to fight crime, but this is what the superhero genre is and how it has been for decades, along with a whole list of unrealistic things about how it operates and how crime is mitigated in-universe. to me the superhero genre isn't really supposed to be about providing a narrative realistic to our world; ideally it's more focused on elevating certain morals and ideals in the face of evil and oppression. that's why so much of superhero comics has its origins in jewish writers around the world war ii era. and while i agree that tones and environments within comics have definitely changed over time from one age to the next, i think that core is still worth maintaining bc, again, it's a genre convention. subversion of genre certainly isn't unheard of and there are ways it can be done well but i think there's subversion and then there's. . . overkill. tom king is a good example of overkill to me bc with nearly every character he writes he tries to inherently reason that one of their core traits is inherently flawed and in need of fixing. the purpose of subversion to me shouldn't be to "fix" a genre convention. it should be to analyze it, approach it in a new light, allow for the introduction of new questions, etc. i think mike w. barr and alan grant are writers who toed that line really well, and i think they were able to eloquently illustrate that balance between the dangers of bruce having a sidekick and bruce's compassionate intentions with taking on sidekicks simultaneously. ntm this doesn't even get into the fact that almost all of bruce's sidekicks are people who enter into the profession against his wishes. jason is the rarity and that's why his death is particularly significant and poses some striking questions for bruce, and that's also why i personally think he should have been the only one to die. i completely agree with you that multiple sidekicks dying over time puts bruce in a bad light and i think if anything it cheapens the original analysis and also kinda disrespects genre conventions bc it's like, how many times are writers going to do this song and dance before they just admit they don't like that he has sidekicks? that's another example of the overkill to me and also reflects on the problem with the new 52 proponents at large, bc they were so obsessed with going back to the old days that they didn't realize how much of the genre and its expectations they were destroying in the process

also realized i forgot to address the first part of this ask but yeah i'm not opposed to exploring a bruce who is a flawed parent, like i very much think he is one and that his issues with confronting his own trauma spell bad issues for his relationships, regardless of his best intentions, but at the same time, i think being a flawed parent is different from being an outright abusive one, and to me at least, the abusive portrayals don't make much sense. the core of bruce's character is compassion and we see consistently that he's concerned for his sidekicks' well being not just as heroes but as humans. i don't quite understand what the point is in portraying him as an abusive parent who resents his kids when his origins with all of them are directly antithetical to that

[inkofamethyst]

February 28, 2022

Today didn’t suck as much as I thought it was going it, but it was still a ridiculously long day.

It’s confirmed: Vaughn is, in fact, not attracted to women.  I do not adore him any less.  How can I not not be completely enamored with a man who cooks a barbeque all for himself (it’s the same sort of “oh my goodness you bring so much joy to everything you do and it’s a pleasure to watch your content” that I feel when watching Ruth from Absolute History)?  UGH what a man.

Having biochemistry for only fifty minutes this semester makes the whole thing feel like it’s over with in the blink of an eye.  And maybe it’s because this prof lectures at such a pace that I never get the chance to even feel bored, but I was in class the other day and looked down at the time and was so astonished that forty-four minutes had already passed that I had to do a double take.  I understand now why the prof recommends rewriting your notes after class-- there’s almost no way to fit in thoroughly active learning in class.  And I’ve been rewriting and getting little “oh I get it, that makes sense” moments all over the place.  Not that I hadn’t taken it in during class, but I can connect ideas more outside of class, and that’s what truly helps me learn things.

[the bit below this is just me clearing out a draft lol]

You know what’s funny?  A bit ago I mentioned the whole Bernadette Banner effect in one of these entries because I find it interesting-- she’s an influencer in every sense of the word.  But on tiktok someone mentioned how her hold how her fans view her how... well, how her influence on the historical costuming community is akin to Matthew Mercer’s influence on the dnd community and that’s really interesting to me!

I think they’re both great creators (obviously) and I follow some of their work (obviously) but like,,,, okay.  For example.  I was watching BB make the two coat videos on her channel and it’s quite clear that she learned in between each process and so clearly is continuing to grow in her craft over time and cannot (plus, she does not) claim to be the utmost authority on How Things Should Be Done (also,,,, she often shows sources in her videos that offer alternate ideas on how something should be done and chooses from one!).  Not to mention, she only looks at a subset of all the research materials out there and there historically (she’s mentioned that she asks her costuber friends for advice and knowledge that she doesn’t have!  she’s estimating in places too!) could have been many standards and styles of dressmaking and such.  And one costuber on tiktok was talking about how annoying it is for people to come into her space with Knowledge from Bernadette and tell her off for her technique???  Like ???  (one person commented on the tiktok about how apparently a ton of BB’s most ardent fans tend to be quite pretentious which is unfortunate but certainly seems consistent with the aesthetic that BB exudes (not that she herself is exclusionary or pretentious necessarily, but dark academia, antiquing, sewing with regard for historical practice (esp when it comes to materials bc they ain’t cheap!) can be associated with groups of people who tend to be more exclusionary))  As far as Mercer, I mean his descriptions, how he runs his games (aside from DM style, there’s music! lighting!!)... it’s clearly something he’s built up over time for himself.  It’s amazing to watch and easy to see him as The DM of All DMs but like,,, he’s not the only one.

They’re major influencers of niche spaces.  But, the same way any person should do any research ever, there are multiple voices in any space!  Not just a singular authority!

Oh!  Oh!  And also Hank Green with science education (on tiktok) right now (and he def acknowledges this, esp recently (though I can understand somewhat why people gravitate toward hearing their fun science facts from him instead of other randos on their fyp: Hank isn’t a rando-- he’s literally committed a ton of his life to science education!  From our perspective, he wouldn’t lie to us (even though he made a tiktok ages ago about how you just can’t blindly trust even what trusted people say all the time because they can, in fact, lie to you too), we feel like), as people ask Hank to fact check women and poc more often, apparently)!

Anyway the concert was fine.  I’m just glad to be done with that music.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to play sing, but I’m ready for something fresh.  Everyone did very very well, and I’m looking forward to the next set.

Today I’m thankful that I got through the day without a headache!

[artsy-hobbitses]

Do you have any advice for people who want to start doing research for their own stories but may find it daunting?

Dividing the research into manageable chunks might help! Set aside some articles and documentaries/videos to watch in your spare time, not all at once, take notes, and don’t treat it like work. It’s a learning experience, it’s something to come away from knowing more than you did before.

Make sure you have multiple (legit) sources. You can’t just watch/read one (1) thing and figure that’s how it is; run by different articles/sources and see if the information you sourced earlier gives an accurate/full picture of what it is you’re researching.

Also don’t be afraid to ask around, esp if there’s people in your circle who would know more about the topic than you do.

As a fun note, two days before this, I was researching skin grafts for Ratchet’s piece, it’s been quite illuminating ouob

As a last note, please don’t think that research is a be all end all for good writing, especially when it comes to science or medical aspects! Sometimes artistic liberties aren’t just allowed, they’re necessary for a concept to work (I know NIR Light has been used to help treat brain injury irl, but clearly not in the way that Trepan uses it and that’s fine! Use the concept, explain the rest with the tech/fictional science available in your universe. Suspension of disbelief isn’t a bad thing—-where you can, you should have fun with it!)

[pastelpaperplanes]

do you have any tips on shading?

Yes! Though I will say that I work with cell shading like 99% of the time so my knowledge on proper blending and soft shading is a bit limited—BUT!! Here’s a few asks I’ve answered in the past regarding some tips and tricks I’ve learned along the way

some flat colors look better when shaded with a another color and NOT pitch black—this ofc doesn’t mean that pure black shouldn’t ever be used to shade your work, but just try and experiment a little!

Here’s two different asks that kind explain my thought process/preferences on what colors I prefer to pair with others when I shade!

Honestly the most important think I recommend to keep in mind is that shading and scenery go hand-in-hand. Depending on where the type of mood you’d like to work with or what kind of environment you stage your piece in—the colors and shading techniques you use to show those settings can have a HUGE impact on meeting those goals!

Here’s two different asks I paired with some examples of that concept

For pieces with multiple light sources or low key lighting paired w uhh,,,a highlight of some sort? I like to do a mixture of both cell and soft shading, kinda gives a nice glowy look and shows more depth!

Another thing I’d recommend is to experiment with your layer settings! Often times changing a layer to like overlay, multiply, hard light, or even vivid light can make your shading process far more easy if you were looking to shade a layer with a whole palette of flats rather than taking each different color on a different layer, then shading one by one.

Haha I realize that probably sounds confusing—but uhh a cheat I like to use and abuse with for example this palette: blue, yellow, orange, and grey—is to take a saturated purple and set that as my shading color, then have that layer set to vivid light. It makes the flats still look saturated despite being cast in shadow—plus lmao I can manage to shade four colors in one layer so that’s literal eye candy to my lazy ass

So yes, experiment with your layer settings! Find what works for you and hey you just might cut your shading process time in half

also another thing I’ll say to someone out there who may be new to digital art, is to please, please love and appreciate that clipping mask setting. I wish I learned this from the get go because yes, I was absolutely the one to meticulously color in between the lines with NO mask for my shading. Took absolutely forever and I’m so glad those days are well behind me lmao.

Honestly I’m just gonna like THIS ASK as well on some key basics when working w digital art—clipping mask I gave my little spiel on and haha that basically pertains to this ask, but the others are always good to keep note of esp for someone starting out w digital!

Hope all this helps! I’m nowhere near perfect in my utilization of these shading techniques, all that I have picked up on this far is thanks to tutorials and tips from other artists. I’m always gonna be continuing to learn and hopefully practice new things! I hope my few recommendations will help you out a bit with your future pieces! Good luck ✨

[dirtyrottenraskel]

my take on yueki's personalities

yue 

notes / personality

cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af) 

kind of a nerd

maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood

books

seems soft but made of steel

strong sense of duty

socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot 

aloof queen bee typa beat

supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals 

deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated

untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself

political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF 

distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life

patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game

excellent at pai sho / chess 

she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)

loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick 

was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence

used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with 

introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken

weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could

definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot

obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect

shes growing into her confidence as a leader

prefers quite intimate places

incredibly romantic

classic lit

planner for the future - visionary

kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)

INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)

Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic

sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))

katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together

toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair

zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together

aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other

clothing / aesthetic:

blues and pale colors

classy and understated wealth

like those cute feminine button down shirts

dresses

like cold weather classy

complicated braids

sort of soft girl aesthetic?

pleated skirts !!!

i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)

knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots

light academia !!!

hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay

from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc) 

suki

notes / personality 

extroverted 

also very strategic 

more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it

like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right 

reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call

likes lively places

total bashful romantic

manages the present and the short term - realist

loves to do lists 

a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh

steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves

harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot 

always ends up in the oddest situations 

totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc 

dedicated to her training and her regime 

not a great cook, but she can manage 

would drink monsters 

has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other

abandonment issues - parents absent/dead 

was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking 

was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless 

tough/assertive/woman of action 

dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho

practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient

stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless 

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - <>  man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!! 

katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice 

toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire 

zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks

aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together 

clothing / aesthetic

sporty and skater mixed 

ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans 

green and yellow and dark red 

gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts

skirts too, likes to play into femininity

she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements 

necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings

definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)

so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project

yueki’s relationship!!!

nerd/jock solidarity 

feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders 

they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability 

yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans 

they slow dance in the kitchen a lot 

they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks 

yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her 

yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)

joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO 

they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute 

sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do 

they travel EVERYWHERE 

since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person 

it helps that they're friends with a lot of them 

they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom 

yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations 

suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy 

While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive 

[gilbirda]

Transcendence

The switching Stans plan was supposed to work, but they failed. And now, Mabel has to face the consequences.

[Read on AO3][Read on FF.net]

She never thought nothing of it. Really, what could go wrong? They managed to stop the Weirmageddon in time with the help of everyone in Gravity Falls, betting everything they have to save their beloved town. But when the bright light subsided, the Pines family knew something went wrong. Horribly wrong. Because Dipper was missing and Mabel couldn’t move at all.

Scared, she started to call for her brother, her brown eyes focusing in things randomly, searching for a sign that he was with her.

“Mabel!”, she faintly heard her uncle Ford scream and her vision tunneled in his face. “Mabel, can you hear me?” She couldn’t nod but focused in his eyes trying to talk through them. “Good, you are here with us.” Then she heard another voice nearby but couldn’t make the words. “Yes, she is fine. No, not responding. We must go back with the others.”

Mabel felt her body be carried in someone’s arms, but she couldn’t see who it was. Everything happened so slowly and yet so fast and bright… Someone please turn off that light! It was hurting her eyes. She could heard voices muffled in the distance, worried voices, but none of them was her brother’s.

Where was Dipper?

--------------------------

She woke in a strange bed that wasn’t hers. At least the room was dark enough and her eyes adjusted perfectly fine to it. She yawned and stretched, feeling the blissful pop in her back and joints. Somehow Mabel felt like a new person, fully rested and prepared for a new day with…

Dipper.

He wasn’t beside her or anywhere in the room, sleeping.

The panic came back, thoughts and memories of their attempt to kill Bill Cipher whirling in her mind, and the same awful feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought that oh my god where’s Dipper.

She ran downstairs realising by the pictures on the walls that this was Soos’ house, feeling the tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes as the real fact of the destruction of Gravity Falls settled in her mind. The Shack, her sweaters, the memories… gone. They would have to rebuild everything from scratch and Dipper wasn't here.

“Oh, she's awake”, said Abuelita while putting more coffee in a jar on the battered table. Her uncles, Wendy and Soos where sitting there silently sipping their drink and seemingly lost in their thoughts until Ford came back to reality and ran to her.

“Mabel, dear, how are you? Do you feel dizzy? Unwell? Possessed?”, he took out his small light and blinded the girl with it. The panicked voice told her that something was really wrong, and not just her brother's disappearance.

“Leave the kid alone, brother. She looks fine enough for me”, Stan murmured sounding very tired and old. Mabel remembered the swap her uncles made to trick Bill, but Stan seemed to be ok and knowing who they were. At her evident confused face, he answered her questions. “We failed, kid. Bill saw through our plan in the last moment and escaped, but was disintegrated in the process… or that's what brains here thinks happened.” Ford nodded.

“Bill lost his physical form and couldn't go back the moment he entered Stanley's mind. When cornered, realised what we plotted and part of his energy got out.” Ford sighed visibly uncomfortable.

“Dipper….”, the girl whispered as a question. Everyone in the room looked away from her tear-stained face.

“We… we don't know, Mabes”, Stan said softly, a comforting hand in her shoulder.

--------------------------

She didn't eat or sleep for days, refusing to move away from the bed and only accepting the water that Wendy or Abuelita brought her every few hours. Mabel seemed to have lost her will to live, the sparkle in her eyes gone like her brother and more than one thought that Mabel wasn't going to last much.

Word had spread about the tragedy and many considered a funeral for the little Pines boy, but Mabel insisted that he wasn't dead. Dipper couldn't be dead. She swore she could feel him somewhere with the twins ESP (Ford cocked an eyebrow at this), but after three days nobody believed her. Even Mabel started to entertain the thought of Dipper's death when her family left her alone.

Until one restless night, she opened her eyes and saw the world in grey scale.

“...el…”, she heard. Mabel looked everywhere trying to find the source of the voice. “...bel” the voice repeated. It was a boy's voice, but it was so distorted that could be anyone's.

“Mabel!”

“AAAAH!”

The girl fell on her butt and looked up to see… Dipper. Tears pooled on her eyes, happy to see him at last and ignoring the fact that he was translucid. She ran to his arms, crying, mumbling about how lonely she has been and how happy she was to see that he was ok and was coming back.

“Mabel…”, his tone carried multiple voices in one, like whispers floating on the wind. Mabel liked none of that.

“Dipper?”, she asked feeling more confused when he didn’t hug back. “Are you ok?”

The boy watched her with a strange glint in his eyes and a sad expression, as if this was a painful experience for him. He took her hands in his and smiled briefly before getting serious again and spoke:

“Mabel, I’m sorry. I’m afraid…”, he looked elsewhere as his voice cracked in a weird way, “I’m afraid we’ll never see each other again.”

She felt that her whole world fell apart in that moment. Mabel didn’t want to believe him, but if Dipper said so then it must be true. She trusted her brother, but still she had to ask.

“Why…?”

“Mabes, I’m dead. Can’t you see it?” He got back a few steps and stood in the middle of the grey room. His feet didn’t touch the ground and now the girl could see that his body wasn’t really opaque. Oh no. “I died that day, when we killed Bill. Yes, he is dead”, he added when his sister opened her mouth to ask, “and he is gone for. But… Some of his energy escaped from Stan’s mind and got to us in time to survive, like a symbiote, and still lives within us. Within you.” He made a face at the correction.

“And you? Why am I alive?”, tears were running down her cheeks uncontrollably. Her brother was really dead. Dipper wouldn’t come back.

“The energy in me wasn’t enough to protect me from the explosion, but yours was greater. I guess you were the superior twin after all”, the smile in his lips was everything but happy. “Mabes, I…”

He was interrupted by a loud noise from somewhere in the background and the place started to melt. Walls dissolving like a candle burning to its end, the grey-and-white room was slowly warning her that her dream was coming to an end. No, no, no. She didn’t want to wake up!

“Dipper!”, she exclaimed running to her brother, but when she jumped to his arms, instead of getting her very needed hug, Mabel found herself on the trembling floor and with a sore shoulder.

“It’s my time, then”, the boy looked at his hands beginning to disappear and smiled again to his sister. “I love you, Mabel.”

“No!”

“I hope you remember me, as a part of myself will live inside of you forever.” His feet were now gone and his signature pine tree hat was dissolving like sand on the wind.

“No, Dipper. NO!”

“Be happy”, he closed his eyes.

And just like that, all that was left of her brother exploded in tiny little particles floating in mid-air over the carpet she was sitting on. Before she could see what they were clearly, it floated to her chest and passed through her clothes directly to her skin, and a weird warmth condensed in her heart. She could feel it get bigger and bigger, making it difficult to breathe, arching her back.

She opened the eyes she didn’t know were closed and found herself floating in the colored room, the real room, and she was shining brighter than the Sun. On the door, she spotted her uncles and Wendy watching her with their mouth so open that they could swallow a few flies, a hand at the level of the eyes to protect them from the light.

Then, something inside of her snapped and she fell unceremoniously to the floor with a loud thud.

“Mabel!”, she heard Ford before she could see him. Someone took one of her hands and a gloved hand checked her pulse. “Are you ok?”

“Dipper…”, she managed to say.

“Did you see him? Where?” Stanley looked confused.

“He… He is gone, Grunkle”, her voice broke and Mabel felt tears start to fall again. “Dipper is dead.”

--------------------------

The following days were similar to the ones before, but now Mabel refused to go back to her bed. She spent her days sitting on a chair in the living room, watching everyone move around without saying another word. She slept sometimes, but it was scarce. Alas, she never looked really tired.

Ford started to suspect that something had happened that day she woke up being a Star. Something big, and something connected to Bill Cipher. When his grand-niece showed unconscious control over things -stuff floating in mid-air or catching fire without reason, and the like-, Ford felt like crying.

Not only had they lost their precious Dipper, but Mabel was becoming something else. Something dangerous. Demonic.

When he first approached the girl about this, she just held his stare and said nothing, creeping everyone in the room, listening to Ford’s explanation of how this could have happened. He thought that Bill’s energy had a consciousness of its own and attached itself to the twins, trying to survive, transforming their bodies into a more appropriate vessel. The changes may be slow, but they would definitely see it sometime soon. He didn’t say anything about Dipper’s death or strange “fusion” with his sister, but she understood nonetheless.

Mabel just nodded and let herself fall into the catatonic state again when her uncle finished. No more tears or screams. The girl seemed to accept what was happening to her without fight in her body, and the people in the room were afraid that it was too late for her mind. That she was going insane, and that was a word they would not like to associate to their beloved Mabel. It was just too much like him.

As more days passed, the new mayor declared the “Never Mind All That” Act, and started the rebuilding of their town as if a end-of-the-world catastrophe never happened. When the Shack was recovered from the ashes of the battle, the Pines moved to their new home with a broken Mabel lost in her mind, trying not to cry when she walked up the stairs to their… her room with her distant eyes and pale skin.

She didn’t came out for days.

--------------------------

But the dreams came back. Almost everyday, even when she thought she was awake, Mabel saw the evil figure she didn’t want to see ever again in her life. He laughed at her demise, he taunted her, mocked her, made fun of her loss. “Where’s Pine Tree?”, he usually asked, and if he had a mouth she was sure he’d be smiling like crazy.

At first the girl screamed at him, cried, punched him; anything to vent her rage and sorrow. Dipper was dead and she was becoming a… demon, all because a stupid triangle wanted to take over the world. She wanted to die, then. If Dipper wasn’t coming back to her she didn’t want to go on anymore.

She asked the demon. “Just finish me already”, she whispered one lonely night a week later in her black-and-white room at the renewed Shack. “Kill me so I can be at peace with my brother.”

“I can’t do that, Shooting Star”, he said twirling his signature cane in one finger. “And I guess you know it as well as I do.”

She somehow knew he was right, somewhere deep inside told her she just couldn’t

It was one evening when she jumped from the roof and Wendy found her broken body on a bush, crying and bleeding like hell, but definitely alive and awake, that she accepted this new feature of her new reality: She wasn’t going to die anytime soon. Maybe never. An eternity of this was all that was left for her.

Would she age? She didn’t know, but the thought of watching everyone she loved die before her eyes was frightening, even more that the growing powers inside her.

She the cursed everything, wishing for it to disappear. If she couldn’t die, she didn’t want a world where she had loved so much and had been so happy. But the cruel destiny, and a cruel demon triangle, wouldn’t even grant her wish.

“Woah there, girl. You might want to rethink that wish”, he said in one dream but Mabel could hear the underlying mocking tone. “You what they say, it might become true.”

And next morning nothing happened. With all her powers, all the time of the world, and she couldn’t have her one and only wish granted.

--------------------------

As months passed, she had to sit and watch her grunkles worry about her condition, as Ford used to say when they talked about it, when Mabel seemed to sleep less and less to the point that at night she didn’t have anything to do but go to the dreamscape out of boredom. She didn’t need to eat as well, and just sat there watching them eat with her empty eyes, creeping them until she decided to wait for them to eat anywhere else on the house. Stan felt guilty when he was relieved by her decision instead of worried.

And her parents? They lied to them, saying that the twins wanted so hard to stay in Gravity Falls, that they had a home tutor for them. Ford searched his old professor documents and send them by fax (changing his name, since Mabel’s parents didn’t know about Ford and explaining it would mean explaining about Weirdmaggedon) until it was settled that “the twins” could stay. Stan cried for the first time in many years when the call ended. He had failed to everyone, he was supposed to protect the children from harm this summer and he failed.

The summer ended and Mabel got the hang of her new powers, Bill’s powers. She almost could hear his voice on her ear teaching her how to do it. Levitation, flying and making stuff float at will was as easy as breathing now, and small sparks of blue fire appeared on her fingertips when she got angry for whatever reason. The Pines household had accepted the new condition and no longer horrified them, so when she confessed she was being visited by the triangle demon on her “dreams” Ford didn’t even flinch. He has begun to accept that Mabel wasn’t going to turn back to normal. Not when he could almost hear the cursed voice of the bane of his existence on her words. Her eyes no longer full of wonder, but a void so deep and black with a little twist of madness.

--------------------------

The first time that Mabel realised that she couldn’t feel anything was on her own funeral. Watching her parents cry before the empty tombs of her brother and hers she couldn’t bring any grief or sadness to surface, not even one little tear came to her call and her deep brown eyes observed with curiosity as her mother broke down on her father’s arms, the loud sobs filling the enormous cemetery they were burying the little coffins made for the lost twins that died in an “accident” back in Gravity Falls. Just a little fire in the forest near the house and her parents believed that neither body could be found on the ashes.

She knew it was necessary to fake their death up to some point, but time passed so fast now that when Ford asked her to make the fire on the anniversary of Weirdmaggedon it seemed like a blink of the eye for her. Being a creature of pure energy was starting to weigh down on her and it was now that she took notice of her aging grunkles with even more wrinkles that last summer, while she remained the same.

“Oh”, she had said then before turning back to the backyard to fake her own death.

--------------------------

When Soos got married, three years later, everyone had already moved on from the loss of the little Pine twins and her name was written somewhere in a slab on the main road. The ceremony was small, just a few friends and family of the hispanic friend and his beautiful wife, Melody. She was expecting, no surprise, and the man-child never seemed so happy on his life. He promised on his wedding that he would be the father he never got and wished for his baby to be happier than he ever was in his life.

Mabel made a silent promise to make that true when she watched from the sidelines, invisible to the eyes of the townsfolk attending the ceremony; and, for a second, she heard the demon’s voice in her ears, laughing. “It’s that a deal I hear?”, he said. Mabel didn’t flinch. He had been haunting her in her “dreams”, telling her that making deals was now in her nature, that she eventually would fill in his eternal job, that she would trick people into making horrible deals out of desperation. She was disgusted by it, remembering just how he had tricked her brother and her into Weirdmaggedon and resulting in the loss of everything she loved and was.

She was never going into making deals.

--------------------------

A few months after the 10th anniversary of the official death of the twins, another Pines left them for good. Stanley Pines never was one for a healthy life and cholesterol took him away peacefully one night. He didn’t suffer, even died with a smile, maybe a good dream he was having. The town mourned for a week the former Mr Mystery, as Soos took his job and has been managing the Shack for a few years now, visiting the shop and giving their condolences to the friends and family that remained. Mabel floated around listening to the soft whispers, again feeling completely left out without the ability to relate to their feelings. She had never felt so alienated in her life, so different and weird. She looked exactly the same as she did when her life changed forever, the same skirt, the same sweater, the same headband. Her now black eyes was the only thing out of place, that’s true, but no one looked at them now so it didn’t matter anymore.

“Mabel, come here”, she heard Ford’s voice and then she realised that the house was once more empty and it was snowing on the outside. Was it winter again? But it seemed yesterday that her grunkle died and it was in October! Nevertheless, she approached her grunkle and looked at him waiting for what he wanted to say.

The man sighed. She wasn’t his niece anymore and it was more than obvious now. She was in this realm barely every few weeks for a day or two and she didn’t seem to realise that her body was translucent most of the time she became visible for them to speak. She wasn’t the demon he feared she’d become, but she wasn’t Mabel; it was something else in between, a being made of energy from another world in a little girl’s shape with some memories of its vessel’s past life. It didn’t fight for dominion, as the child’s mind and body surrendered to it so many years ago before his own eyes, and fused successfully with her. He wondered if she recognized him at all, if she felt as sad as he was for everything that happened to her and Dipper, if she did care at all for the people she used to love and cherish. He asked himself not few times if there was any humanity left in her body or if she was lost and dead as the town believed her to be.

Nevertheless, he explained that didn’t have much left, that his old body was giving up on him, and that she was going to be on her own. Eventually, she was going to leave Gravity Falls and spend eternity alone… and forgotten. He launched himself in a speech so many times practised alone in the rusty lab downstairs, not looking really at the void eyes of Mabel in front of him, not caring anymore if she was listening or not. When he finished, he took the cane he hated so much and went to his room to sleep.

He died next spring the same way as his twin, with a gentle smile on his lips, dreaming of the future he was robbed with his family united and adventures with his brother in the Stan’o War II.

--------------------------

It was raining that night, but for Mabel it wasn’t even a breeze on her skin. She didn’t feel anything, no pain, no sorrow, not even the cold as it was winter again. A year has passed and when she went to see her grunkle she discovered that he died already. Soos told her so with an uncomfortable smile on his face and a nervous glance to his chubby little son, now six years old, and she got the message that a demon like her wasn’t welcome anymore to the house that once was her home. Mabel smiled in understanding and left to never be seen again, leaving him with a weird pain in his chest wondering if the guilt he was feeling should really be there. He had a family now, responsibilities, and as awesome as having his own ghost haunting the Shack was, he knew she was in the end of the day a demon, and his son’s well being came first.

--------------------------

Kevin, as she later learned was the little boy’s name, was now a young man and Mabel watched him every now and them, taking care of the man’s health and security as she promised so many years ago. Soos’s family was expanding as now two beautiful girls were running around the Shack, sleeping in what once was her room, little twins with identical big smiles and brown eyes full of curiosity. She swore to protect them, the same as their big brother, so they would never suffer the pain of losing their other half like she did in the past.

Soos was getting a few grey hairs on his head, same as Melody, and from time to time Wendy came to the Shack to see how everything was going around, talk about the Pines and have a moment to remember that fateful summer. They were the only ones who did.

Mabel appreciated that. If they didn’t talk about it she knew she’d had forgotten her name long ago as no one called her anymore. She spent almost always in the dreamscape, practising with her powers and focusing in the balance of the demon inside of her. Bill was always there calling her Shooting Star, mocking her, asking for her brother, taking her to the limit. Her only company was the hated demon that took away her life, and she had told him so, but stopped trying to kill him since he seemed to be made of smoke in her dreams.

Little by little, he had said, all that made her Mabel would disappear. “It’s only a matter of time, Shooting Star, that you accept me as your only companion.”

--------------------------

She knew what he meant when she watched her last friend die before her own eyes. Wendy was the one who lasted more than everyone else, reaching more than a hundred years. This time it was cancer what took her friend away and Mabel could do nothing to stop it, her body didn’t respond and could not say the words to make a “deal” to make her stay alive a few more years. At least the woman was loved and had great life, a beautiful family by her side, and lots of children to remind her the wonders of adventure.

Mabel, on the other hand, was now truly alone.

She came back to the dreamscape feeling a bit of despair, a now strange feeling on her empty body, and tears finally came to her eyes. She cried and cried for her lost friend, her brother, her family, her childhood. All of that, brutally taken from her by that disgusting demon laughing at her from his spot a few steps behind.

She turned around and screamed at his face everything she felt, how she hated him and everything he had done to her. She launched herself to him and for the first time, the triangle was solid enough for her to do some real damage to his mocking eye. God, how she hated it when he did that.

Mabel cursed him and screamed so loud until her throat hurt and the tears stopped falling. Her punches didn’t seem to do much damage and his “smile” was still in place when her little arms didn’t move again for another hit.

“Tired already, Shooting Star?”

“Shut up.” Even her own voice seemed strange to her. “I hate you so much.”

“Awwww”, he said with another laugh.

“You destroyed my life”. She closed her eyes feeling more tears coming. Feelings she couldn’t comprehend came back full force and Mabel was being crushed by years of unattended emotions.

“You did”, he answered in a more serious tone, “that day when you tried to kill Bill Cipher. Or have you forgotten already?”

“Shut the fuck up!”, the girl growled and a pulse of energy emerged from her body, launching the triangle a few metres back. “You did it! You killed my brother! You made me this… monster I am now!”. The girl jumped again to the fallen form of her enemy and pinned him under her body.

“Oh dear, don’t be like that”, he smiled with his eye and Mabel felt sick to her stomach. “We are so going to enjoy an eternity together~”.

“I refuse to be stuck with you, Bill Cipher!”, and as if she had said the funniest joke in the multiverse, the demon started to laugh his existence out. The girl-demon was slightly taken aback, but still weary if this was some kind of trick.

“You amuse me, Shooting Star”, the triangle managed to say, “Do you really not recognize yourself?”, and the weirdest thing happened.

Where there wasn’t a mouth, now was a smirk. The triangle was gone with a blink and in his place was the pale body of a girl with a severe need of sunlight, her eyes a black pool of nothingness and her body barely covered by an outfit she did recognize too well, but it was so battered and torn by years of use that the colors had disappeared completely, leaving them almost in greyscale.

She was looking at herself in a mirror. Her hands cut with the raw edges of the glass and blood started to run all over her reflection, making it even more horrible.

The other Mabel laughed at her face, her voice a mix of his voice and her own.

“Surprise!”, she said. “This whole time you were talking to yourself! Isn’t it funny? C’mon Shooting Star, you are the only one not having any fun.”

She jumped back and watched in horror as the reflection got up and jumped out of the mirror, before watching her with a curious smile. She couldn’t believe it. She was really crazy now. Bill was never there, only herself alone in the void of her existence, and it would be so until the end of times. If she ever considered the small possibility of company, even that of her nemesis’, she wasn’t having any of that now. She was truly and completely alone .

Alone…

Mabel smiled and laughed softly. Her walking reflection caught her thoughts and smiled too.

… for all eternity…

It was now a full scale laugh fest, neither of them knowing exactly what was so funny, but laughing until their voices merged as one. Mabel barely thought that how could she even consider that Bill was there, it was obvious now to her the impossibility of it. After all, it seemed her destiny was to be alone.

Alone and forgotten.

She laughed the last bit of happiness there was inside of her body and opened the eyes she didn’t know were closed. Unsurprisingly, her reflection wasn’t there.

The girl-demon looked down to her clothes and thought they needed a change. Something more… fitting. Black pants and a white buttoned shirt appeared instead of the old Mabel-y outfit, along with a black coat lined in gold star motives. Yeah, now we were talking.

She willed a cane in her right hand and smirked when it appeared out of thin air. It was a cool symbol of her predicament and how she came to be. Bill was going to be around her existence forever and the least she could do was pay little tribute to him. But still there was something missing…

With a flick of her wrist, a top hat was in her left hand and she put it in its rightful place. Now, it was just perfect.

--------------------------

The little girl didn’t know why she was doing this. The book she found was nearly illegible and kinda spooky, but it promised the power to protect herself and the ones she cared for. The only thing she needed was some candles and time to make the proper ritual.

The latin words sounded weird out loud, but it was written beside the instructions of the circle she drew with chalk, so they must be the right words. She was sure she said them right when the world shifted and became black and white, all colors fading and time slowing until the little fly on her window seemed frozen in place.

Blue fire emerged from the pentagram on the floor of her bedroom and a figure with a cane materialized on the center of the circle surrounded by the flames as if they didn’t burn at all despite the intense heat.

“Well well…”, the figure said taking off the top hat and twisting the cane on the right hand. “It’s nice to be back!”

The girl was taken aback when the demon was a girl no older than her. Maybe a bit taller, but the same round face, the same big eyes, the same short legs.

“Are you… Are you the demon? Cipher?”, the girl asked trying to keep her voice even. The other girl smiled at the name.

“You could say that~”, she answered putting the hat back over her black headband.

“I need your help”, the child managed to say after a few seconds of hesitation. If this was the demon on the book then she could help her. “I will pay you with everything I have, I’ll give you my soul… but don’t let him take my brother!”. That seemed to spark curiosity on the yellow-ish eyes of the strange demon before her.

“I’m listening.”

“My father.. he is trying to kill me to get to my little brother. His mother died and I am the only one left who could protect him.”

The demon looked at her with those deep eyes that told many stories, many things passing through them so fast she couldn’t figure out what the other was thinking behind the serious mask of indifference.

“I see”, was all she said. Hope bloomed on the girl’s heart and a need for this to be get over with soon rose. Her brother was in danger and the demon was looking at her room like it was some kind of museum!

“Are you going to help me?”, the need was obvious on her voice and the demon looked back to her with a wicked smile on her lips.

“It’d come with a price, you know.”

“Anything!”, the child shrieked. That amused the demon even more.

“All right then, we’ll work the details later. Tonight, you’ll sleep like a baby and tomorrow all will be gone. It’s a deal?”, the girl-demon extended her gloved hand surrounded in blue flames and the other girl didn’t even hesitate. The decision was made. Her brother was worth it.

“It’s a deal.”

And with another creepy maniacal laugh the demon was gone, color was back and time resumed its course as if she was never there.

Next morning, her house was filled with police sirens and medics. Her father had been stabbed overnight in a robbery gone wrong. An aunt she had never heard of came home in tears, willing to adopt them.

It was many many years later when she found out her price: She couldn’t find, no matter how hard she looked, one sole photograph of her with her brother.

[d20owlbear]

oh can you please share the grievances you have over twilight/ the vampires in it or what kind of research you did for your wip? how much blood would the cullens drink?

oh ur in for it now nonnie (thank you i love talking about my stupid lil research holes) 

 1) as we already kinda knew, the source material is... somewhat racist (please read the article here on how Twilight affected the Quileute tribe: https://studybreaks.com/thoughts/twilight-quileute-tribe/ and if you can donate anything to help them, this has been ongoing since 2017 to move to higher ground due to glacier's melting and moving the sea level up https://mthg.org/) 

(as a note, all my opinions here are opinions and I'm NOT pointing fingers or blame at anyone who likes the franchise and story, you're allowed to like what you want, just like, look at it critically) 

-- because of this a loooot of things are considered imperfections including but not limited to: scars and tattoos (cultural or otherwise). Both of these things are 'wiped out' or otherwise reversed by the process of being transformed.

 -- Now, i get scars to a degree, especially in the source material and the wild mistreatment all the vamp characters have gone through (at least of the Cullens/Olympic coven, + some others I'm sure, god is it fucking b l e a k) but that brings up the next point: 

 2) THE SCIENCE IS BAD, now i know what you're gonna say; you're gonna say "Jam, why do you care about the science? It's a *vampire* story! It's fantasy and supernatural, why the science?" because, my dear nonnie, i have standards. and those standards include obsessively researching every single rabbit hole that comes up. 

 Now, I *know* you shouldn't have to research everything ofc, that's fine, even in published fiction, whatever, it's *fine* but we’re talking about MY issues and i get to choose what they are. And it is a personal affront to me because TATTOOS ARE **NOT** SCARS, it's why they don't *heal* like scars do. Sure they get less vivid over time but they *bleed* and blur, they don't get smaller or disappear entirely! If your tattoo scars, it means it was done wrong!! 

(science time: tattoos keep their color because the needles pierce and mangle/kill the cells underneath while depositing ink—this is why tattoos *can* scarify if the wound is made big enough and it's why they're considered open wounds in the first place—and your macrophages (the thing that eats infection bits and things that don't belong in ur bloodstream and body, this is why you can't have the wrong kind of blood transfusion or it'll severely fuck you UP) eat the ruined skin cells in order to make room for new skin cells! EXCEPT it can't digest and get rid of ink! so, the new cells are created around these macrophages and *also* have the ink deposits. ink is however broken down by light and through sheer determination of your body over looooong periods of time, which is why you still gotta treat your tattoos nice) all of this just to say, wtf the tattoos should have BETTER staying power because the ink is no longer getting broken down by new macrophages and like, you're no longer vulnerable to UV or whatever through your skin. Common' StephMeyer you coulda had some real fucking hot tattoos in this world, some old school shit like Godric from True Blood. smdh 

 3) if you're still with me i applaud you cause here's another thing.. .why the FUCK do they kill every human and like animal they feed from??? OK, ok, like so, i get it, humans can only lose so much blood, animals too. (pls excuse my shitty math, i am NOT a math gay by all rights and i actively have friends whom i love that ruthlessly point out I forgot how to add things once. however, this is more or less right, the margin of error is gay just like me) 

 humans have: 4.5-6 L // 9-12 pints of blood lose to die: 4.5-6L // 4-6 pints?? of blood (this conversion killed me, no one tell me the right numbers if they're wrong) Generally, human stomachs have a volume about one liter, which is a little more than one quart (or 2 pints) tho it *can* expand to fit more none of the vampires are ever shown with or mentioned to have a distended stomach after feeding so we can assume that's not happening here. 

 "Hemorrhagic shock begins when you lose about 20 percent, or one-fifth, of your body’s blood or fluid supply. At this point, your heart isn’t able to pump sufficient amounts of blood through your body." (source) 

-- this being said there's more blood that a human can *technically* lose than a human sized stomach can generally fit into it. HOWEVER you will die unless seen to very quickly and before hemorrhagic shock sets in. In twilight saga canon it's pretty clear they Do Not Do This. So like, whatever, super wasteful deaths sure, fine. Keep the vampires unknown, whatever, you do you boyos. 

But also like... the Cullens straight up kill animals too, that's not *actually* what vegetarian means. BUT they don't necessarily ahve to, they apparently eat so messy that it's hard to tear any of them away from feeding and gorging themselves *every two fucking weeks*. They're wiping out the local herd of damn pigs and other big prey and/or predator animals, the fucking ecosystem is in shambles probably. that's right u heard me, 2 weeks which brings us to the next point: 

 4) they can only go 2 weeks, after *gorging* themselves full and killing an animal *EACH* until they ahve to do it all over again. holY SHIT THATS SO MUCH. that's so many dead people or animals, like that's over 100 animals and/or people a YEAR PER VAMPIRE needed to feed these people. And if they *don't* eat, their eyes turn black and they go just full fucking feral and kill someone anyway, possibly multiple someones. 

christ, just do the math, i'm not a math gay but Meyer isn't gay and has no excuse. i'm begging you, one damn thought about the implications of what you're writing, just once. (once again, you're allowed to like this, these are my personal issues with the source material and the "clearly heven't thought through the implications of what you've said" is my largest pet peeve ever ESP in stories and worldbuilding) 

 5) the powers are cool but have no consistency and is built to take advantage of. Which i will. to give my boy FANGS like he goddamn deserves in this godforsaken au/fusion. Finally, and not least, 

6) why the FUCK don't they have fangs this is a fucking vampire fic, it's a STAPLE for a monsterfucking reason damnit. 

 Anyway, dracula and gatsby are both public domain and i get to say how I'm writing them. Vladdy Drac is a bro and so is Jay Gatsby, Crowley's older than both of them in this, and they're all friends because he deserves nice things sometimes. Fuck it. 

 Look at it Meyer, you took a perfectly good gateway monster and turned it into a shiny de-powered superman human. terrible.

[thishazeleyeddemon]

Argo "limeeater" Keene is autistic now

One of those rocking back and forth types (I do this!)

He swings his wrists, rocks back and forth on his feet, etc., etc

He did it less on board ships because they do that motion anyway, at the school he does it constantly. He barely notices doing it now a days and will sometimes get confused if people mention it ("I'm just standing here Fitz what do you -")

His sense of taste sucks lol (also a feature of mine), and he's sensitive to bad food textures.

That's mostly why he eats limes. It's That Routine 👌😥 + scurvy paranoia + resistant to acid damage + consistent source of citrus that doesn't make him want to remove his teeth

Pretty good at masking except when he's tired, he gets a lot more irritable and snappish and generally wants to be left alone

Fairly good at reading faces, beyond horrible at reading tone of voice. He tends to automatically assume it's negative

He's got a vague grasp of managing his own tone of voice but like. Its a VAGUE grasp

This is partially intersected with his Marid heritage but the ocean is very stimmy for him! The sound of the waves, the smell of the water, all that vast blue, it Feels Right in a way it doesn't even for other water genasi

He's most prone to visual overstimulation, esp from bright lights

Part of the reason why he wears his hair long is the weight on his scalp but also that it can fall in front of his face and block out some light

Noise wise he's prone to understimulation, if u leave him in a quiet room he will go fucking insane (perks of being on a ship/having roommates: never totally quiet). He really likes certain types of loud music with multiple instruments, it's v stimmy

Test Environments Bad. It's too Quiet and he can't move enough without being distracting, he ended up biting his tongue with his sharp genasi teeth real hard once while trying to stim quietly and had to go to the infirmary

Not touch averse in the slightest, Please Hug The Genasi, but also exceedingly paranoid about when and where and what is appropriate. Tends to default to slapping people on the back sometimes until he's close enough to ask if he can hug them

He had to cut his claws when he was v young since when he got meltdowns he couldn't stop himself from scratching at his arms. He has a few long scars down one arm from when he was 10 and scratched WAY too deep on accident.

He gets super exhausted after meltdowns and that's one of the few times he goes nonverbal, his brain is just like Time To Sleep.

One of those fluctuating empathy types, All or Nothing Babey (it's exhausting too lol)

One of the perks of being a rogue is ppl expect a certain disregard for social norms, which makes it easier when he's too tired to bother caring

One of the reasons he's got issues with Fitzroy, Fitz is autistic too but Fitz cares Very Much about social norms and seeming Like A Normal Person© and is kinda Bitchy about it

Also Fitz "fancy boy/visual understimulation" Maplecourt wears so many bright colors and jewelry and just looking at him can be tiring sometimes

Both of his roommates have stimmy voices, esp the Firbolg

TL;DR: argonaut keene autistic (like me)

[iaintyourbro]

Love your Marlene reunion post, it's amazing how you come up w/ the connection to AC and OTWTAS. Barret and Marlene give me feels nobody in remake does (their VAs 're so awesome). I'm amused w/ Barret comment after Shinra simulation in which he says : must come with warning, that ain't for kids. It feels like a meta message that ff7 story itself seems to be too much for kids even back then in 90s because look at how it leads to many things happen (esp. LTD). What do you think of this?

(2/2)  Hi, I am the one who ask about Barret meta message earlier. Just to be clear, I don't intend to push ship war. I just want to make it a light hearted discovery without any mean intention. It just, they make Barret bring this wholesome parenting stuff in Remake (and ofc Marle, Claudia, Elmyra).

Hi there! Thanks for the ask! Barret and Marlene’s VAs were absolutely fantastic. I am so happy with how they built their story up a bit and the moments between them are absolutely precious beyond words. I’ve always loved Barret, but they REALLY made me love him in Remake.

“...Barret comment after Shinra simulation in which he says : must come with warning, that ain't for kids. It feels like a meta message that ff7 story itself seems to be too much for kids even back then in 90s because look at how it leads to many things happen (esp. LTD).”

So I do like that connection you’re making, and I don’t feel that you’re pushing a ship thing. In general, the themes of FF7 OG were quite mature - mental illness, brothels, death, sexual innuendos, etc. So I agree, it was never intended for kids. But, you know how the 90s were... I was a kid in the 90s myself, and the attitude from my parents was if it didn’t have extreme violence (blowing people’s heads off) or explicit sex, then they didn’t care. 

But yes, I think the severe misunderstandings of how the story went, what Aerith and Tifa represented, what Cloud actually had happen to him just wasn’t really absorbed well. And really, you can’t expect 9-13 year old kids to pick up on this stuff. A lot of it went over my head. I never got the implied sexy time Under the Highwind until I was an adult. I just wasn’t good with that stuff at that age.

It’s not anybody’s fault, though. It was rated with warnings (T). So, it was really up to our parents/guardians to say whether we could play it or not. This was also around the time the Internet was becoming popular. So, mix that with what 12 year olds saw their way... hello LTD.

I can remember looking up stuff about FF7, but nothing ship related. I didn’t even know what that meant until recently. It was all game play/side quest related. It’s funny to think about how... archaic it all was, right?

But that all is why we’re here 23 years later. Kids couldn’t let go of their thoughts and opinions, and refused to change their minds even after multiple sources proved it over and over. They added games, a movie (a movie that they then added more to so it clarified stuff), books, etc. And it’s still going on. It’s unfortunate, because the “other side” isn’t all bad. There is just a very extreme sub-group of them that takes it way too far and ruins it. 

And there’s also the whole death thing. I myself had already dealt wtih family deaths. I also knew this was a game, so Aerith dying didn’t really affect me. I didn’t find ways to revive her. That was the story - she dies. You still have to save the planet. Cloud saves himself with the help of Tifa, and you go on. 

Well, that was what was supposed to happen... and we know how that went for some.

Anyway, thanks so much for the ask! Hopefully I answered your question. 

#meta barret #ff7r #ff7r spoilers #ltd